#BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST A CULTURAL THING

[twilightofthesandwiches]

When I made that post about how Spamton and Tenna were probably both mimicking each other due to mutual jealousy, I mentioned by the end that, although both of them saw the other as having something they lack...

Spamton was, like, objectively the worst-off between the two, and his jealousy of Tenna is probably more 'justified' than the other way around'. But also Tenna is unaware and probably totally incapable of understanding this fact . Since the reasons behind it are dependent both on the culture of the internet and the deeper machinations of Light and Dark.

I didn’t really go into depth about it at the time cause it is a complex topic that I did kinda cover for Spamton before Chapters 3 + 4 even released and if I started going into it in detail, it could’ve easily overshadowed the main point I was trying to make with that post. But since I did get some comments/questions about that aspect… I thought it might be a good idea to give it its own post going into it in detail and clarifying my point.

So, both Spamton and Tenna imitate each other because they see the other as an embodiment of something they don’t have. Tenna has the charm, prestige and both metaphorical and literal ‘bigness’ that Spamton craves. While Spamton has the modernity, understanding of technological progress and ability to reach Lightners that Tenna’s so insecure about lacking these days.

(I think you can kinda see it as a metaphor to the relationship between traditional media and the new media in general. Old Media such as the Television is getting overshadowed and outcompeted by the Internet-based New Media, but it also still has an air of respectability and prestige that New Media still generally lacks. The fact that Tenna is specifically jealous of, like, the lowest, least-respectable, most obnoxious aspect of the Internet is just an extra detail that makes him more uniquely pathetic.)

But the main difference is, like… So Tenna is a Television Darkner, he’s supposed to exist for the purpose of providing entertainment. He loves entertainment because that’s what he was created to do and entertaining Lightners is the thing that makes him feel truly fulfilled. He is also, by all accounts pretty damn good at it.

Like, the main conflict between Tenna and the Lightners is because he wanted his show to go on forever (And also he kidnapped Toriel and was keeping the Dark Fountain from getting sealed and working with the Knight). They did clearly enjoy being on his show as a temporary thing. He's honestly good at this.

I mean, the fact that he has a set Purpose hardwired into his very being and can’t feel truly content unless he’s fulfilling said Purpose is kinda Existentially Depressing if you think about it too hard, but at least it’s something he both enjoys and is good at.

And then you have Spamton. As the Magical Dream Representation of Spam Email, he is created to scam people out of their money and information. He is also generally obsessed with all the things your usual Spam Mail blathers on about, success, prestige, being a BIG SHOT. But being Spam Mail also means he is utterly terrible at doing his Purpose and fulfilling his goals. Spam Mail is weird, obviously scammy, gets thrown away 99% of the time, and is the lowest and most incompetent form of online advertising/scams. The basic essence of his metaphysical being is to be a frustrated, miserable failure.

Of course, this isn’t as simple as saying Tenna is metaphysically allowed to be truly happy while Spamton isn’t. Because it’s been a long time since Tenna has been able to fulfill his Purpose. He’s good at entertainment… but he’s not good enough to get anyone in the Dreemurr household to turn on the TV on the regular. His show is loads of fun, but it’s also kind of repetitive, cheesy and old-fashioned… because that’s also the Lightner perception of the classic TV that Tenna was created to represent.

You can easily say that just as Spamton’s preordained role is to be a failure because Spam Mail is by definition crappy, Tenna’s role is to be a failure because in these modern times, the definition of the television has changed to be ‘not good enough’.

And the whole thing is actually totally outside Tenna’s control. Obviously no one can truly control the march of time or stop new entertainment technology from being developed, but even in terms of the content Tenna can provide if he's switched on... That’s in the hands of Lightner TV producers.

In his Dark World, Tenna’s living the high-life, the biggest and only Big Shot in TV World. but he’s incapable of being satisfied with all of his power and prestige as long as he’s a failing his Purpose as a Light World television. A matter that is actually totally beyond his control.

Tenna’s aware of all of these problems, but he’s not fully aware of how these issues reflect Spamton’s situation. He’s knows nothing about the modern internet world

…He doesn’t know what being ‘Spam’ means, and therefore has no idea what Spamton is supposed to be. He met Spamton during the brief period of time the salesman was genuinely successful as an adbot, he has no idea about the unlucky Addison he was before or the total wreck he became later.

… But that is also part of the crucial difference. Spamton only became successful and therefore happy due to the help of the mysterious Someone that has been calling him.

And…we are still not quite sure how that worked. Was that simply someone from the Light World aggressively clicking on so much Spam Mail and shitty ads that it temporarily changed Spamton’s status in the Dark Worlds? Did that Someone give Spamton the secret to actually defy the role assigned him by the metaphysical laws governing his existence? Was it done through the power of the Shadow Crystal? The power of the Prophecy? Were they taking advantage of the fact that the events we're talking didn’t truly happen and were instead retconned into Spamton’s personal history when the Computer Room Dark World created him?

There are so many question marks about Spamton’s Mysterious Benefactor and how that whole thing worked… and that’s because giving Spamton a happier and more successful life is something that seems like it should be literally metaphysically impossible. And while Tenna was pretty much trapped in an unsatisfying existence due to the nature of his being and circumstances beyond his control… his problems were also much easier to solve from a Lightner perspective.

Sure, the television doesn’t get the sort of universal success and influence that it did when Tenna was brand new, but there are still people who watch and enjoy it. As long as that fact holds true for at least one household (and seeing how books, radio and cinema still exist despite the television overshadowing them back during Tenna’s hay-day, I doubt the TV will ever die completely) and as long as Tenna himself is a usable television then Tenna’s happiness is absolutely achievable.

It is kinda existentially terrifying to think about how this was all out of his control and couldn’t have happened if not for Kris and Susie’s actions in the Light World, that Tenna himself still had no power over his own happiness… but that still leaves him in a better position than poor Spamton, where… even if you were a Lightner honestly interested in giving Spamton a happier life… what could you do for him?

Like, Noelle obsessively responds to "Free Friend Finder" Spam in a desperate attempt to find Dess and that got Spamton's attention and gratitude, but it was still obviously a tiny drop in the bucket compared to the success he is destined to crave for… So this is clearly much more complicated than just humoring a few Spam Mails (and also, even that plan carries a much bigger risk to the Lightners compared to just giving someone a second-hand television. Because Spamton is also ontologically doomed to bite the hand that feeds him.)

But, like, there is a reason why Tenna was shoving his nose into Spamton’s Secret to Success. Obviously with Tenna already being Executive Producer and God-King of TV World, he’s not exactly looking to become a ‘Big Shot’ in the Dark Worlds - he’s looking to have the sort of reach and influence that internet-based Darkners like Spamton seems to have over the Lightners. He was looking for Spamton's advice in the hopes he could help him to understand modern technology and the changing times, help him to stop himself from becoming increasingly outdated… But is that something Tenna would've been even able to do?

Again, before the TV World Dark Fountain even opened, Tenna shouldn't have had any way to affect his situation in the Light World, he was just an inanimate TV. If Spamton taught him to 'plug in'… what would that mean? Would the Dreemurr Household's living room TV suddenly gain the ability to connect to the internet? Would it suddenly transform into a Smart TV out of nowhere? Would it suddenly starts broadcasting new content that's more appealing to modern audiences (at least according to Spamton's advice)?

The idea that's the least magically-breaking-the-laws-of-causality is that Spamton was thinking of asking Someone to upgrade Tenna's inanimate TV self in the Light World… and even that kinda stumbles into the mindfuck acknowledgement that all of the events we're talking about didn't truly happen the way Tenna and Spamton remember them because they were an inanimate object and a spam folder on a laptop at the time and all of their past and memories of being People were created when they were brought to life by their respective Dark Fountains so how could they ask anyone in the Light World to do anything at that point in time?

Tenna was actually trying to get Spamton to help him do the same thing he's done, defy the fate he was doomed to because of what he is in the Light World. To help him break the laws of how Dark and Light work so he can get closer to accomplishing his dreams. Even though he doesn't seem to be fully aware of the fact that was what Spamton did in the first place. And… there is a level where I'm wondering if Tenna even understood the full ramification of what he was planning for himself?

Because when it comes to Tenna being unaware of Spamton's miserable fate due to the fact he doesn't know what a "Spam Mail" is, that is a simple problem of a lack of knowledge. Tenna just doesn't have that information due to his status as a pre-internet piece of technology. But when it comes to the matter of the metaphysical mechanics of Light and Dark and how Darkners work… I feel ike it's not really a matter of knowledge as much as a matter of understanding.

Tenna clearly knows that as a Darker, he is created from the Dreemurr Household's TV, he knows that before the Dark Fountain opened he was just an inanimate object, he knows that means that his Purpose is to entertain Lightners… But does he actually think about what all of these facts actually mean? Does he fully understand the implications of his existence? I've already wrote so much about all the little things that make Tenna's life, maybe better than Spamton's, but definitely kind of an existential nightmare in it's own right if you think about it… but that's the question, does he actually think about it?

When we was trying to get that 'deal' done with Spamton, was he thinking about in terms of 'I'm gonna need to break the laws of what it means to be me, Tenna, a Darkner based on this specific old TV. Because by definition I am outdated and if I want to actually catch-up with the times and be watched again, I will have to change that Definition somehow?' or was it just 'Oh boy! That Silly Little Guy knows a lot about this internet stuff that scares and confuses me! And he's got so many views! I have to ask him how he does it..." without ever thinking of the implications of how'd he'd replicate 'how he does it'?

I think there's a lot of little hints that Spamton doesn't just want to rebel against the metaphysical laws that made him a constant failure so he could be a Big Shot… Spamton also wants to want different things. As he exists, Spamton isn't supposed to care about anything but deals and scams and money and success (while also existing to constantly fail to achieve these things), but his actual dream is now something much bigger than that, much more centered around his freedom. Although part of the tragedy is that he is still doomed to only being able to think about it in terms of power and status, and doomed to being unable to think of a plan to achieve that dream without scamming money out of people and exploiting them in general.

Even when he's giving Kris the KeyGen, he has to try and sell it for a sometimes ludicrous amount of money, because he's not supposed to care for anything but sales and deals… But he does seem to try and fight against this instinct.

And it's clear that he is very emotionally hurt by all the friendships he lost and all the bridges he burned. With Tenna most obviously, but also with the Addisons and with Swatch. As a Spam-Email, he's not supposed to care about those things more than he does about Deals and Scams, but as a person, it's clear that this is a huge part of his angst. In the Normal Route, Spamton starts projecting his own issues on Kris the moment he sees them walking through the Dark World alone. In the Weird Route, Spamton only starts doing it in the NEO Boss Fight, when they start calling out to their friends. Either way, it happens when he sees them alone.

In terms of the metaphysics of Light and Dark, Spamton's essential definition is being a weird failed scam-artist. In Spamton's own eyes, his essential definition is being lonely and abandoned.

And of course, the whole point of Spamton NEO's Spare Route, the closest thing to a happy ending he ever got, is about abandoning all of his grand plans to become [BIG] for the sake of friendship.

Tenna… does not seem to struggle against his nature in the same way. He is not bothered by the implications of having a set Purpose or maybe he just never thought about it that much. He fully embraces the idea that his Purpose is to Entertain and to be Watched, and even when he's sad and frustrated because he can't fulfil that goal… he blames himself for failing to fulfil it, he does not go against the idea that fulfilling this Purpose IS the number one thing he wants and needs.

He's already in a better spot than Spamton was, because, although he's got a bit of an Entertainment Industry Sleaze coding to him with all of his shady contracts, being based on an Object that generally makes Lightners' life more enjoyable and has a lot of sentimental memories associated with it makes him considerably more capable of caring about other people and forming meaningful relationships. But even when his obsessive pursuit of his goal ends up with him alienating all of his TV World employees (even Mike!) and causing his world to crumble all around him, he never doubts that there is nothing more important to him than Entertaining Lightners.

I think if you went to Tenna and asked him if he ever wanted to want a different thing, something that doesn't make him totally dependent on outside approval, he'd just be confused. What in this world could be a better and more worthy goal than bringing smiles and tears to the lovely viewers at home? What else is there? It's just not something he could ever even being to think about.

And sure, Tenna might know and acknowledge that he's the Dreemurr Household TV and that's why he cares so much about entertaining specifically the Dreemurr (and Holiday) family… but does he truly understand the way that his personality was shaped by the emotions of Kris and Toriel during the night the Fountain was opened? For him, his emotional grief at the slow dissolution of the Dreemurr family is just his genuine emotional response based on his personality and his memories and the experiences he had… and I think it is real... but it's also a projection of Kris and Toriel's feelings.

For him, his fixation over Toriel is born of the fact she was the last member of the Household to consistently Watch him…

But it's also born of the way he's kind of a reflection of Asgore's Divorced Behavior.

Is Tenna aware of the idea that his feelings, that feel 100% real for him, were also 'given' to him by the Lightners? Does it bother him at all? Does it not bother him because of an actual confidence in his own personhood and the validity of his perspective and his personal sense of self… or just because he never thought that deeply, that far, into the implications of his own existence?

Tenna knows what it means to be a Darkner, but he doesn't understand what Spamton understands. And as long as this gap exists, Tenna won't ever really know how miserable and doomed Spamton truly was. And I think as Tenna gets happier and more content, now that he's got a new loving home, he will be less and less driven and able to understand it. This little adventure he had with the Knight and the Fun Gang was probably the closest he's ever gotten.

Even if you sat him down and patiently explained what a Spam Mail is in the most 70's terms you could muster, he still won't truly understand why Spamton can't just replicate the success he had when these two knew each other, or why Spamton was so determined to 'see past the Dark'. Not anymore, at least. Because that requires delving into things he knows, but has never truly understood on a deep level. And maybe it's better for him that he doesn't.

I think, Tenna was on… the precipice. He took great interest in Spamton's success, he wanted to know his secret, they had almost signed a deal together. Tenna's frustration and lack of ability to fulfil his Purpose had led him to a point where had almost tried to defy his Existence the way Spamton had never stopped trying. He was unsatisfied and miserable enough that he almost became… maybe not exactly like Spamton, but at least a lot like King. Y'know, the Dark World Leader who got a lot of secret info from the Shadow Crystal Holder he was closest to, and thus inspired him to rage against fate and actively try to defy his Purpose?

Maybe not exactly the same as King… but he had almost tried seeing too far. Almost.

But at the end of the day, Spamton felt that the only way he could be truly happy is to find some way to cut off his puppet-strings, while Tenna is someone who finds true joy and contentment in simply dancing along to them.

[mareastrorum]

This is only half a thought so far, but maybe other people want to chime in.

I’m doing Watch Machina (currently at episode 15) and Nein Again (currently at episode 21) while I also keep up with current Critical Role content (Age of Umbra episode 4) and something that bothers me a little is Matt’s current method of narration.

In C1, Matt’s style is very informal with regard to the narration. There’s little added drama via his tone, pace, or choice of words. “Toothy maw” became a meme pretty quickly, but the point of every description was to efficiently set the scene so the players could start their RP and choose what to do. There wasn’t as much precision with his descriptions, and of course that is a talent that takes a long time to hone when you’re describing lots of different things over the course of several hours. However, the narration was far less formal and calculated than his NPC dialogue, so (in combination with voice acting) it was very easy to determine when Matt was in character or not. It wasn’t a bad thing; Matt’s very casual narration and formal dialogue leading up to the Chroma Conclave’s attack on Emon was excellent because it was so sudden, leading the players and the audience to experience the exact same shock the NPCs would have. It’s not a bad way to narrate. If anything, it made the heartfelt moments so poignant, especially at the end of the campaign. That description of snow drops would not have been nearly as impactful if Matt had narrated that way all the time.

In C2, Matt started getting more descriptive and slowed down his narration to match. As Aabria would put it, he “paints a word picture” and includes more environmental storytelling for the setting itself, not just things for the characters to expressly interact with. I think this is part of what led to the Nein interacting with the set dressing more: Matt mentioned it, so it must be important! This led to some fun hijinks as time went on, and it gave Wildemount a different feeling than Tal’dorei. I couldn’t tell you that Emon had a particular vibe to it other than it being a big city, but howdy do we know that Berleben is full of nosy, bored people in a smelly swamp, and we sure know that Zadash is a bustling city with stark class segregation while Nicodranas is a beautiful trade hub with a mixture of different cultures. I think part of that may have come from working on the source books (they have similar language for the plot hooks and location entries). However, that method of narration was mostly limited to first descriptions of a new place or events (“cutscenes” like the attack in Zadash). Within a scene, Matt was still fairly casual in his discussions with the players.

But currently in Age of Umbra, and with a good chunk of C3, Matt’s narration is far more deliberate. There is a consistently slower pace compared to earlier campaigns, usually only speeding up in combat. Part of that may be for production purposes (easier for transcriptions and closed captioning), but it also impacts the pacing of the game itself. There’s also that presence of a new character: the narrator himself has a voice, and that is now part of the story. It’s extremely noticeable when the cast gets Matt to “break character” as the narrator to only be a DM. It requires a baseline level of formality for that to happen, and Matt committed to it in nearly every scene, regardless of the context of the scene. While that doesn’t feel all that strange for Age of Umbra (it fits well with the soulsborne style of game), it does make me realize that it’s part of why C3 felt incongruous. Like, sorry about the dead horse, but I was expecting C3 to be pulpy, which very much benefits from the narration style of C1 rather than the formal narration style Matt prefers currently. Punchy, informal narration sets a player expectation of “you’re here to get something done and I’ll tell you if it works,” while the current style instead lends itself to “you’re part of my story and this is the tone.” The former is great for fast-paced roleplay and the latter is suited to unhurried storytelling—which wouldn’t feel as mismatched if C3 hadn’t been a story where the PCs needed to prevent a second calamity within the course of a few weeks.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say that this was a mistake. Matt clearly enjoys how he narrates currently, and every DM is entitled to their preference. However, I think there’s a lesson in here that varying the narration style to match the purpose of the scene and story would benefit the players and the audience.

To be fair here, Matt is not the only DM who doesn’t mix it up very often. Brennan Lee Mulligan (Dimension 20) is far closer to the C1 style of fast, informal narration with very limited, specific instances where he would slow down for drama; there is no “narrator” character in his players’ story. D20 has a far more casual tone to its seasons than CR does in its campaigns. Luis Carazo (Tales Unrolled) narrates similarly to Matt, with a focus on instilling an emotional reaction for the players to deal with, and the players collaboratively join Luis as the narrator for their own characters; it’s a back and forth where the DM and players contribute to that additional presence. Tales Unrolled is on the opposite end of the spectrum from D20, with a clear feeling that it is a storytelling experience.

Again, choosing one narration style over another isn’t necessarily a flaw. However, I think varied narration is a tool that most DMs underutilize. If used carefully, adjusting narration styles within sessions on the fly could enhance the experience of an Actual Play campaign for everyone involved. It could be used as a signal to the players for what type of scene this will be or when a scene is shifting. It could also signal to performers in a show for pacing within an episode (hijinks are over, time for some drama; time to cool down from the tension).

But, as always, it’s easier to point stuff out like this than it is to do it in practice.

[cheriladycl01]

My love, is mine all mine - Max Verstappen x Norris! Reader x Charles Leclerc Part 8

Plot: Norris' Twin sister is also a driver in the 2021 line up and is in her rookie era. Not only do the commentators struggle to now talk about the pair in the race, but they also struggle to talk about talent. What happens when two drivers find her eye-catching.

A/N: I've brought Luisia into things because of the timeline and it being 2021. Don't hate on her, or the fact that i've brought her into my writing please!

Because there was a break you decided it would be best to stay away from social media and take some time for yourself. You promised your trainer you'd keep up with the healthy diet and exercises and but just wanted to get away from normality.

So you got to Heathrow with an large backpack and took the first flight leaving to Colomia. You spent the week climbing mountains in the Andes with a trusted tour guide you'd found while you were out there. Just the two of you as you didn't feel up for the big group excursions.

The man who'd walked the volcano peak with you had known who you were but kept it to himself talking about his life and what Colombia was like, which you enjoyed as you got to learn about his life and what he did.

You spent the week away from the harsh media fully diving into the South American culture and making connections all over Bogota. It was refreshing being away for an extended period of time and you felt more than ready to go back to racing.

You'd flown back home, saying a quick hello and goodbye to your parents before getting in your McLaren and driving to dover, you'd wanted to spend time getting to Hungry and drive yourself which a lot of the drivers would find incredibly bizarre as you'd be doing 6+ hours over the course of three days. Which to the average driver would seem easy but with how hot the car got and how hard it was to drive an F1 car compared to a normal car all mattered.

You’d made your way into France getting a picture on the bonnet of your car outside a random small town cafe.

Instagram Story Caption:

It’s been a while huh? 🤔 Gotta love a long drive to my next location 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿-> 🇭🇺

People were going crazy that you were back (fans more than anyone) and that night in your hotel room that was above the same bar you posted a photo dump from your time in Colombia.

y/user

Liked by charleslecerc, landonorris and others

y/user: Colombia 🇨🇴 you have been beautiful. From the beaches, to the walks up the mountains to the locals that expressed their love and showed me their cultures and invited me into their homes … I will be revisiting! One of my favourite places in the world! 🌍🧡

View all Comments:

fan1: omg I’m from Colombia! How didn’t I know you were there!

landonorris: so you’ve been on holidays? 🫨

-> y/user: whilst training of course! Don’t worry I’ll get you this weekend brother 👀🧐

fan2: I love that she’s taken time for herself she looks so healthy in that photo on her story!

-> fan3: so real she’s gonna slay in Hungary 🇭🇺 roll on Qually.

-> fan4: I have a good feeling about this weekend!

luisinhaoliveira99: Ola Y/N! Pretty Pretty!

-> y/user: Ah my favrioute girl!

charlesleclerc: Driving to Hungary? Wanna divert and give me a lift.

You seen Charles comment almost instantly and everyone else had too. You messaged him as you couldn't tell if he was being genuine or not. You were more than happy to make the detour to the Meditteranean side of France. It was one of your favrioute places to drive along.

He'd messaged you back not too long after and you couldn't help the smile that came across your face when you saw the message.

Your detour took you down through France driving through Nice and straight into Monaco where you drove around the roads that you'd driven in F1 for the first time not to long ago. The thought of going back round it next year was exciting. Once you pulled up outside the casino Charles gracefully waltzed over.

"Is that all?" you also looking at the small bag he had brought with him.

"Well... you're driving a sports car darling. Despite us touring Europe in a McLaren i cannot pack my entire wardrobe!" he smiles and takes a seat next to you.

"So what route are we taking" he asks turning his face to look at you and for a second you are stuck in the moment of looking at his eyes, and how soft they are, noticing the crows feet on the sides as he smiles reminding you what a happy soul he always seems to be.

You drove off, gulping down the ache in your heart knowing it wasn't right to rush anything based on what happened in the past, but also there was something drawing you to Charles and the more he weened his way into your life the harder he became to ignore.

The route you took was interesting. You passed Monaco into Italy and continued up to Milan, across to Venice up into Austria where you headed to Vienna and then down to Budapest ready for the GP, in total with all the stops it became a 4 day drive. You'd stopped in random cities finding hotel rooms at 11 pm when either of you were too tired to drive and small restaurants in the countryside when you both got hungry. It was enjoyable, more than enjoyable really.

Spending time just the two of you away from the media was exactly what you both needed. You guys just talked without the pressure of people around and it was nice. You both had a lot to stay but strangely by the end of it, it felt like not everything had been said.

Maybe the weekend at the GP would let that string unravel a little more.

Taglist:

@littlebitchsposts @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount

[nerdy-alto]

I cannot tell you how messed up being raised in a compulsive-heterosexuality / slut-shaming church made me. For anyone who doesn't know, the mormon church is just as bad as many other Christian religions about being absolutely OBSESSESSED with what one does with one's bathing suit parts outside of marriage, but unlike other slut-shamey religions, 100% absolutely REQUIRES heterosexual marriage & child-bearing for any woman who wants to go to heaven (and their idea of "heaven" is being one of multiple sister-wives of your husband, birthing babies for eternity). When I was a youth, I thought I was doing AWESOME at not being tempted by boys, when it was just... well, I wasn't interested at all (it was mutual for the boys in the church). Then I got to my 20's, left all that behind, decided I wanted to be a Real Person, and somehow didn't recognize how programmed I was to need male validation like I needed oxygen. Because every ounce of my cultural and religious background had told me since I was born that there was literally no point to me as a female unless a man said there was (with marriage and/or his dick.)

All told it could have been worse, but I spent my entire damn 20's either heartbroken in ways I didn't understand, or worried that I would never "count" because a man didn't choose me, and yet simultaneously not doing anything to get a man to choose me because my subconscious didn't want anything to do with that.

I feel like both a very Elderly Aroace, but also like a really immature one because I couldn't put a name to it until my 40's. I really love reading all the discourse from mostly younger (yet more mature) aroaces from all perspectives. Currently going through the perimenopause thing and having some hormonal outbursts that I'd say would characterize me as slightly gray-ace, but the aro bit is just intensifying and my general lack of trust and introversion means that the gray thing is likely entirely theoretical. If there are any other perimenopausal ace's of any gender with thoughts, I'd love to hear them!

Having some thoughts about compulsory sexuality, especially how posts about sex positivity vs censorship have an unfortunate tendency to cast people who are less willing to engage with sex as the cause and the symptom of puritanism when puritanical people are usually pretty pro-sex (within very narrow parameters that they weaponize against everyone else).

Tl;dr: Ending stigma around sex = Good. Implying less sexual people are losers / bad queers / oppressors = No thanks.

[barleyo]

Acceptable in the 80's.

Bodhi Windbreaker X F! Reader (smut)

A/N: i know bodhi isn't the most popular dateable, but he is one of my absolute favorites. even if this is totally self-indulgent, i hope somebody else enjoys it too.

Tags: mentions of porn, fingering, handjobs, making out/kissing

Wordcount: ~0.8k

Learning about the modern era was interesting, sure, but Bodhi definitely had a preference for his time. This new, strange world made him feel behind, like he was being left out on a joke, and he was, in a way. Everything moved so quickly, despite how long he had been in his time capsule.  Things were just so different now. Not for the better. 

He told you about it all the time, ranting and raving about the 80s and how much he missed it. 

Movies, he claimed, were so much more entertaining. The actors were talented, the actresses were bombshells, and the special effects were "radical." 

Music was hip and catchy. He didn't mind newer tunes, he could admit that there was definitely more diversity now, but it just didn't hit the same. 

He thought today's fashion was clunky and cheap, that the food was overly processed and strange, and that technology was too advanced for his tastes. Social media? God, it hurt his head. Why did everything have to have an algorithm? And what the hell was A.I.? Living robots—like Johnny Five, right?

When he discovered the less wholesome side of modern internet, he found that he preferred the older alternative to it as well.

Bodhi brought you into the living room, carrying a large box of tapes and magazines. 

"I know, I tell you this all the time, babe, but the 80s was something special," he said, beaming down at you as he dropped the box on the floor. "You just had to be there. Or, in your case, you didn't have to be, because I'm gonna catch you up."

You watched him dig through the box and explain the decade's pop culture. It was interesting, but you mainly just stared at his adorably excited face the whole time. 

Bodhi bounced from topic to topic, clueing you in on his unique world of retro nostalgia. It was sweet, seeing him trip down memory lane.

"Right, and nobody knew George Michael was gay?" you asked, listening to him as he moved onto music of the 80s. 

He shook his head, giving a shrug. "I guess we were all too caught up with Hands Across America to notice." 

He dug at the bottom of the box, scooping up a final VHS. 

"What's that?"

"Last thing for today," he answered, blowing the dust out of the cartridge. "Films."

As he loaded the tape into the VHS player he had managed to find, you raised an eyebrow. 

"Didn't we already watch old movies?"

"Yeah, but this isn't a movie," Bodhi smirked, turning to face you as his finger traced over the play button. "It's a film. You know," he shrugged, "an adult film."

"Oh."

He clicked play and took a seat next to you on the floor. "Pornos were much better in the 80s too," he said, tossing an arm over your shoulders. 

You didn't realize how the video was making you feel until your hand was slowly pumping at Bodhi's cock, eyes flicking back and forth from the screen to him to make sure your movements matched. 

You kissed him softly, your arm crossing his as you both went to work on each other. The position wasn't nearly as awkward as you thought it might have been. Really, sitting so close to him while his needy hands trailed over you, going exactly where you needed him, was heaven. 

You slipped your tongue into his mouth and explored for a bit, nipping his lips when his thumb ran over your clit.

"Careful," he warned through gritted teeth, sucking in a breath, "it's still got five minutes left. Don't wanna cum before that."

You hummed and slowed your pace. It killed you to do so, but the idea of cumming with the actors was too hot to pass up. If Bodhi kept curling his fingers into you the way he was, you'd be on track to do just that. 

You mumbled a bit, making meaningless observations about the video, trying to distract yourself from how close you were. 

"The music in the back is nice," you said, face flushed.

"Yeah, porn doesn't set the mood with background music anymore."

You felt his hand grip onto your hip impatiently. You were sucking his fingers into your cunt deeper and deeper—how could he not get hasty? 

His cock kicked in your hand before it spurted thin, milky cum, but with your own orgasm crashing over you, you could hardly focus on that. 

The porno faded to black shortly after you both finished, the tape ejecting with a click. Sex with Bodhi was always fun, but this time was especially interesting. You wiped his cum off of your palm and shot him a devious smile.

"The guy had a cute mustache."

Bodhi chuckled softly. "Y'like 'staches?" He ran his fingers over his top lip. "Maybe I'll grow one for you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. That is, if you grow your bush out for me," he said, eyeing your mound, "in true 80s fashion."

[earlgreytea68]

I get that doing fic for free comes from a place of privilege that I have a job that makes me enough money to live on. I TOTALLY get that. What I want people to consider is that that's how jobs SHOULD be and there's a problem with the world generally that we all can't get that. And it's a bigger problem with the world that capitalism wants to reach its greasy tentacles into every moment of our lives (I was going to say every waking moment but I bet they'd find a way to sell ad space in our dreams if they could). Anyway I say it constantly but PLEASE WRITE FANFICTION BECAUSE IT'S FUN AND YOU ENJOY IT AND YOU LIKE IT.

I have been a published author. In fact I'm always supposed to be publishing more lol and I'm SO BAD at it because once I *have* to do it it becomes more like work and I don't want it to be work! I want to have fun! It's okay to have fun!!!!!! I remember when I published my very first novel and I was trying to make friends with the other novelists (allll of my best friends come from fandom, I thought of course these people would want to make friends!!) and I suggested we write Advent drabbles in December like I have been doing for fics forever, and their response was, "Why? Do you have data on how that spurs sales?" I was like, .....no, we would do it because it's fun?????? And then I was like, maybe publishing isn't for me lol

ANYWAY fandom has already become so much more commercialized than it used to be. I blame social media influencer culture with the way it's made everyone thinks everything you do with your time needs to be a side hustle that makes you money. In the old days nobody took a commission for fic. If someone wanted a particular fic, you wrote it and you gifted it to them. Wow, that makes me sound impossibly old but I promise you, kids, that's what we did. A lot. Really often. We'd be like "give me some prompts!" And then we'd fill the ones that inspired us. That was a very usual thing to do.

So I know we old people sound pathetic when we beg you to do something in your life just for fun and don't bother doing fandom if you don't enjoy it (and for God's sake stop loudly watching videos and having FaceTime conversations on your phones in public). It's okay. In twenty years I will accept your DMs on Tumblr being like, "egt, you were right, the things we do for fun to bring us joy are the most important things we will ever do in our lives." You, too, will get old like me.

[ptergwen]

saw the post for ideas 👀… yknow those vlogs peter would film in homecoming? what if the only exception in strange’s spell was to let him keep a copy of those films of you and him/memories of the team. he rewatches them when he needs to feel like someone is there with him eating dinner, on holidays, a rough night of patrol, etc :(

always belong to you ❤︎‬

ask box  |  taglist  |  blurb masterlist  |  main masterlist

w/c: 2.0k

warnings: suggestive jokes, doctor strange being a bully, angst

a/n: ugh you know i love an angst/fluff combo, i lowkey got carried away if you can't tell by the word count lmao but i think y'all will like :) p.s. i have more things brewing so stay tuned!

"ok, so, we just got on the plane. we're taking off in... i don't know, soon."

the camera pans to you half asleep on peter's shoulder. you hide your face in your boyfriend's flannel, grinning nevertheless. "y/n's tired. it's early," peter tells the camera. "but i'm excited," you mumble. he beams and hugs you to his side. "me too. we all are."

you wrap your arms around peter's bicep and rest your chin on his shoulder. "so, where are you the most excited to go? london, right?" peter looks over at you, his hand rubbing up and down your side. "mhm. what about you, venice?" you ask him.

"definitely venice. i’ve been practicing my italian," peter says. you move closer to the camera so you can talk into it. "yeah, he actually learned some italian. and french, for when we go to paris." you smile sleepily. "city of love," peter adds. you peck his lips, and he smiles against yours.

you never actually made it to paris. god, that whole trip was a disaster. it's a miracle his camera even survived it, since most of his stuff literally got blown up. your plans kept getting changed, and peter barely got to spend any time with you or his friends because he got dragged into doing spider-man stuff, spider-man stuff that put everybody in danger.

but it's not spider-man's fault that he lost you — it's peter parker's.

"you've been practicing your british accent. that's something," peter jokes. "oh yeah, true. i also learned british slang. i wanna be cultured like you, innit?" you do an over-exaggerated accent, which peter chuckles at. "c'mon, i never even leave new york. except germany that one time, and..." he lowers his voice. "space."

"what are you doing?" mj pops up behind peter. her, ned, and betty are in the row behind yours. you got stuck next to flash, who's been snapping at one of the flight attendants for something. "just making video diaries of the trip," peter explains. "ooh, aren't those for may?" ned enthusiastically asks from the aisle seat. "hi, may! everybody say hi to peter's aunt!"

"hi, peter's aunt!" betty waves. "sup, aunt milf," flash chimes in. peter clenches his jaw. "hi, may. your nephew woke me up," mj deadpans. she manages a smile. "i don't know how i’m gonna get any sleep around the lovebirds."

"i'm gonna sleep, too. i'm still kinda tired," you tell mj through a yawn, squeezing peter's bicep. "you should try to sleep, darling. there's gonna be a pretty big time difference when we land." you lay your head on peter's shoulder again with a smile that he returns even bigger.

"okay, i will. don't wanna be jet lagged," peter agrees, turning the camera to himself. "well, that's it for now, may. love you! see you when we land!"

"bye, may!" you echo, peter resting his head against yours as the video ends.

you were both so happy back then. now, you don't even remember who peter is. all he has left of you is memories, ironically enough. it's all he has left of any of his loved ones. may is gone, his only family. his best friends have no memory of him, and neither does his team.

but if peter had just thought things through before he asked doctor strange to cast that spell, he wouldn't have needed to cast a second one, and the world wouldn't have forgotten peter parker.

peter wishes he could make you remember him on nights like these, when he's missing you extra. he'd kept to himself all day in his classes — he doesn't really engage with anyone unless he's in the suit. patrol was quiet tonight, though. so as peter lays on his creaky bed at the end of the day, all by himself in his cramped apartment, he's never felt more lonely.

he thought it might make him feel better to watch some of his old videos. his camera is one of the only things he'd kept from before, and it has videos with everyone on it. he watches them sometimes so he can hear your voice, see your face.

"peter! you look so cute in your little lab coat," you say behind the camera. "babe, you can't call me cute in here," peter groans. you zoom in on him setting up some test tubes. "yeah, you think you're so tough cause you're an avenger. spider-man can't be cute, he's too big and scary," you tease.

"maybe not scary, but he's big for sure." peter smirks at the camera. "i can confirm," you smirk at him. peter's eyes widen. "woah, y/n. i meant, like, my arms. you're so unprofessional today, i think i'm gonna need a new camerawoman," peter shakes his head playfully, pouring something into a beaker.

"you can't replace me. i'm irreplaceable," you insist. "yeah. i know you are," peter says, and means it. he can make out a smile in your voice. "anyways, since you're so tough, why don't you take off the coat? and the goggles? i guess you don't need them."

"i can't! if doctor strange comes back and sees, he'll say i’m-"

"-violating safety precautions and being stupidly, dangerously irresponsible."

doctor strange lands on the linoleum floor of the lab, his cloak trailing behind him. peter has his goggles on his head, so he quickly pulls them down. you prop the camera up against a stool subtly, all three of you coming into the frame.

"we're dealing with the quantum realm, parker, something neither you nor i completely understand. let's not take our chances." strange puts on his own pair of lab goggles, giving both you and peter a stern look. you make a face at the camera. "yes, sir. i mean, stephen. i mean... yeah, stephen," peter stutters.

you take his hand to calm his nerves. he laces your fingers together with a grateful smile.

"where's banner?" doctor strange asks. "still not here yet. scott and i started setting up, though," peter answers. "you're certainly no world renowned scientists, but fine. i trust you know enough to handle glassware," strange says sarcastically.

"and what have you been doing, practicing your magic tricks?" you ask doctor strange. "they're not tricks, it's a mystic art. but yes, actually. things work differently in the quantum realm than they do here," he replies, narrowing his eyes at you.

"thanks for clearing that up. wow, you know a lot about this stuff. i can see why they made you sorcerer supreme," you say smugly. doctor strange closes his eyes, visibly irritated. "no, they chose wong. you know that," he says in a monotone. peter bites the inside of his cheek to suppress a smile.

you'd naturally met the avengers over the years you and peter were dating. everybody loved you because peter loved you, and they loved him. doctor strange was another story. peter hardly felt like strange even tolerated him, let alone his girlfriend he was constantly getting humbled by.

you figured that if he did it to peter, someone should do it to him. peter always appreciated you having his back in those moments.

you and strange had your banter, though, and he did love peter in his own way. clearly, considering that he brainwashed the whole world for him on multiple occasions.

"is there a reason you're here exactly?" doctor strange questions you. "yeah, to watch you make pym particles." you shrug. he sighs. "make– it doesn't work that way." doctor strange turns to peter. "what is she doing here?" he crosses his arms over his chest, his cloak mirroring his stance.

"y/n's always here," peter innocently replies, swinging your connected hands back and forth.

"yeah, she's one of us!"

"who said that?" doctor strange demands, looking around the lab.

"it's me, i’m tiny. hold on." scott suddenly grows from the size of an ant to his normal, human size, appearing next to the three of you. doctor strange and his cloak jump backwards.

"have you been here this whole time?" strange's voice raises in anger. "um, yeah. pay attention much?" scott scoffs. "pete already told you, we're setting up. hey, y/n/n." you and scott fist bump. "pete," he claps peter's shoulder. peter nods at him. "hey, scott. keep up the good work."

"solidarity among the bug men, isn't that sweet?" doctor strange dryly remarks. scott points a finger at him. "listen, wizard. you should be nicer to me. i’m your ticket to this whole quantum thing."

the two of them start to argue, so you and peter sneak away. you grab peter's camera again and film him as he finishes setting up for their experiment.

"i can't believe we got all that on video," peter laughs out. "yeah, that was some avengers reality tv shit," you agree. peter tightens more test tubes in place. some have pym particles in them, others empty. you suddenly take peter's chin between your fingers, prompting him to stop what he's doing and look up.

"you know what i was trying to say before? i know you're tough, and strong, but i’ll never just see you as spider-man. you're peter."

his doe eyes lock with yours behind the camera.

"and you might be spider-man to the world, but you'll always be my peter."

peter stops the video. he rewinds it to the part where you call him your peter, and then rewinds it again. tears begin to well up in his eyes. at the time, it was just something sweet you said. you could never have known how much it would mean to him now.

peter curls up on his pillow. he's gripping the camera with both hands, holding on tightly like it's you, because it's the closest thing he has to you. tears drip down his face and land on the screen as the rest of the video plays.

"thanks, baby. i'm not that strong, though. i just try to act like it because i’m scared. this all gets pretty intimidating sometimes," peter admits. "i know, but you deserve to be here. they need you here, and i think you're strong for coming," you reassure him. you flip the camera so it's showing your face and the back of peter's head.

peter kisses your cheek, then your lips lovingly. he can't tell watching it back, but he assumes he tries for more because you giggle and turn your face away.

"okay, guys! we hashed everything out!" scott calls in the background. "something of that sort," doctor strange mutters. "and y/n, since you insist on being here..." the cloak of levitation flies over to you and forms a makeshift hand, holding out a lab coat and goggles. "we have a dress code."

peter snickers at you. you put down the camera and take the lab gear, glaring at doctor strange, who smiles wickedly. strange's cloak floats behind you and taps on the camera lens, alerting his attention to it. his smile drops.

"are you two idiots recording in my lab?" doctor strange asks you and peter. "bruce's lab," scott corrects him. "yeah, it's mr. bruce's. i mean, doctor bruce's. i mean, doctor banner's-" peter cuts himself off when doctor strange comes marching over. he narrowly avoids bumping into him.

strange's cloak swipes the camera off the lab desk. you reach for it, but the cloak floats higher.

"well, until mr. doctor bruce banner shows up, i’m in charge, and this is strictly confidential," doctor strange decides.

"but we're not gonna show anyone, it's just for memories!" peter defends. "bruce always lets us record," you add. strange grabs the camera. "coat and goggles on. now," he reprimands you, scowling at the camera as he shuts it off.

peter actually finds himself laughing when the video ends. he misses you and his team so much, but watching his old videos has been comforting. he's exhausted now, both physically and emotionally, so he gets under the covers and lets himself drift off to the sounds of your voice as the next video plays.

there's a piece of you in each one, and a piece of peter parker, too. the real peter parker — yours. he'll always belong to you, even if you don't know it.

tags

@spidermans-gf @sacharinee @thollandsgirl2013 @pettypeety @girlinlovewithlove @marvelgurl @superlegend216 @angelinabelovedballerina @moniffazictress11 @superlegend216 @doubledizzy22 @mystic-writings @just-lost-inbetween-worlds @lnmp89 @starlight-starks @hollandsangel @ellebutnotwoods @tayyx @valluvsu @ronweasleysslut @winchestersgirl222  @fishingirl12 @raajali3 @niktwazny303 @thismessymasterpiece @alina02 @itsjanedeluca @idkeverythingistakennn @prancerrparkerr @urfayevorite @getwellsoontana @deanswifeyy @marvelita86 @uhhhj13iguess

[miss-m-winks]

Yeah honestly, I just appreciate fantasy that puts thought into its world. I don't think every fantasy needs to go into detail about like, why there are potatoes there. A lot of the time, "potato" is also just an easy shorthand to tell the audience "starchy root vegetables exist here", like in LotR where a lot of the details you might consider anachronisms are very easily overlooked with the "this is a translation" explanation. And LotR makes that explanation work because of all the other unique details present in the worldbuilding.

The problems with anachronisms usually come in when they don't feel like they've been integrated well with the rest of the world. I can believe Hobbits have potatoes because of how much farming they do. Of course they've managed to breed their own starchy root vegetable they can call a potato. It's easy to picture them having every fruit and vegetable known to man, because they love food and they do a lot of farming. That's all it takes to make the potato and the cornfields fit into their world.

But if I'm reading a book set in a standard UK-ish middle ages/vaguely old fashioned time period, and out of nowhere they're using oranges as a casual common breakfast fruit, or coffee just shows up to be a regular morning drink, or cheap chocolate candy just exists now, all with exactly the same connotations they have in our real modern world, i find that weird. It throws me out of immersion.

I don't need the author to write a whole paragraph explaining where those things came from, but I am going to need a little more set up and a reason to feel like those details actually fit the world. They need to fade into the background, easily overlooked. If they stand out, they end up feeling weird. If your worldbuilding can't stand on its own enough for me to glance past the morning coffee, there's a problem.

I think the root cause is authors who just toss in details from their own modern life experiences without really considering whether or not it fits. They're not immersing themselves into the world they're writing, and you can kinda feel it. So authors just need to get into their own worlds and think about what it's really like to live there, and I think that fixes most of the immersion problems.

All it takes is a little description of a fantastical orchard and I can believe the oranges. Mention the import market and I can believe the coffee. Maybe give it a new cultural context while you're at it.

For the longest time I opted on the side of "no coffee, potatoes, etc" in fantasy writing, on the argument that if I was writing a pseudo-european medieval story, featuring elements brought to Europe by colonialism would imply the existence of colonialism, and if I was going to include that kind of elements, I could not just mention them casually, it would have to be a major theme of the story.

Then I scrolled past a post on tumblr specifically about "can you have potatoes in a fantasy setting for no reason" that had pics of Peruvian potato farmers and asked "are you really too much of a coward to not write these people into your stories?" (the tone was probably not that accusative, I paraphrase from my own perspective of this), and something clicked in my head, and this epiphany manifested in my head as Gordon Ramsay yelling

"IT WAS NOT THE FUCKING COLONIALISM THAT INVENTED THE FUCKING POTATO."

[creatingblackcharacters]

Hiya! So I have this fantasy world building thing that I probably won’t do anything with for years, and I’m thinking of making the only human in the main cast Black, I was wondering if keeping the culture of the character the same is a bad idea? My thought process is that most fantasy stuff is Europe-centric and I wanna give them a cultural background that fits! Can’t really go into detail on the culture that I made already without turning it into a full on rant.

So, do you have any recs for works with good constructed cultures for Black characters? The only examples I can think of are mostly urban fantasy and they don’t really fit what I’m going for.

Options:

1) So make the fantasy environment not Eurocentric 🤷🏾‍♀️ you see that your problem is that you think this Black character doesn't fit in this white environment, so make the environment less white!

2) Or, there are still Black people in Europe. You could research those cultural backgrounds. We don't just stop being Black just because we're surrounded by white folks.

3) so what? If there are dragons and elves and magic in your story, there can be Black people with their own, individual cultures in your story! I don't see why the rules of reality have to apply to me existing, when the rest of it doesn't exist in reality and is still there 👍🏾

Regardless of your decision, I'd also read Black fantasy, by Black authors! Just by typing that in, you'll find a bunch of books that incorporate different cultural experiences.

[alexanderwales]

Aphrodite hated dick pics.

The first reason wasn't one she shared with other people, because it felt very petty to her, even if it was how she felt: "dick" was a word and "pic" was an abbreviation, and "dickture picture" was a thought that always came to mind, unbidden, or sometimes "Richard picture".

But the other reasons were more cultural, social, and aesthetic.

"There is an art to capturing the erotic," said Aphrodite. "And the vast majority of men are nothing more than preschoolers showing off their scribbles."

Her girlfriend was curled up next to her. Julie was an awkward, somewhat androgynous lesbian who had moved to Seattle from somewhere in the Midwest. She had eyes that the Minoans would have gone crazy for. Aphrodite had picked her up off the street because she'd had trouble understanding what the woman would even look like in the throes of passion, and that was something that Aphrodite, God of Love, was normally incredibly good knowing about people.

It turned out that Julie looked cute when she orgasmed, with a kind of fetching innocence to her, and her face was plastered with love afterward, eyes wide and all-seeing. So they had started dating, in the way that Aphrodite did sometimes, which would last until she grew bored.

"So it's not that you hate dick pics," said Julie. "It's that they're not artistic enough."

"Well, no," said Aphrodite. "Even the most artistically done picture, by a master photographer, with the perfect subject, I would still dislike."

"Well ... why?" asked Julie. "You're bisexual."

Aphrodite didn't like that term, not when applied to herself. She was the embodiment of all forms of love and attraction. It didn't feel right, to distill that down in such a way. She let it pass, though it would be a conversation for another day.

"Erections are transient things," said Aphrodite. "To capture one in film is to take this moment in time and suggest that it's representative. That, I think, is the objection. A moment of passion, which fades away after the photograph is taken, is a lie, of sorts."

"So -- and just so I understand this -- you're fine with a dick pic that gets sent so long as the erection is maintained until you arrive to greet it?" asked Julie.

Aphrodite laughed, because there was something funny about that, perhaps the image of her restlessly waiting in a cab, or inspecting the erection to make sure that it was the same one as in the photograph and not a second, imposter erection. Julie laughed too, and Aphrodite found that somewhat annoying, because she couldn't imagine that they were laughing at the same thing.

"I think there's a sense in which men adore their own erections," said Aphrodite. "It's a narcissism. A failure to imagine women."

"For gay men?" asked Julie.

"Perhaps it's different," Aphrodite allowed. "But I would wager that most of the dick pics are sent by men to women, and I do think it comes from this sense of pride, and I do think it's sad how much disconnect there is, between what these men feeling, what they expect, and what the reality is."

"So in a world where women were reliably aroused by these pictures," said Julie, gently stroking Aphrodite's arm. "Perhaps that would be fine?"

"Perhaps," said Aphrodite. "I'm still not sure that I would like it though."

"There have to be women that do," said Julie. "Among all the natural human variation. A woman for whom an unexpected, unsolicited dick pic following a comment on a local neighborhood app gets her hot and bothered. Odd to think about, how different people are from one another."

And Aphrodite smiled, and held Julie closer, because it was one of the things that had remained odd to her through all her years. She kissed the woman on her collarbone, and her neck, and between her breasts, and this too was transient, an ephemeral moment, that perhaps she would one day like to have a picture of.

[ryan-sometimes]

What is your favourite science experiment, if you don't mind me asking?

(Either one you've done yourself or read about, I just like hearing the often whacky things scientists can get up to!)

My favorite experiment isn’t one I did, but one I came up with during an exam. As a 3rd year undergrad, I accidentally signed up for a graduate level chemical biology class. I didn’t know until I showed up on the first day of class and saw that pretty much everyone there was a PhD student. I got really scared but decided to stick with it because the class seemed very interesting.

During the first few weeks of class, we talked about something that I found really interesting. And that was the question of screening vs selection. Say that you’re randomly generating mutations in a bacteria and you want to find out if one gave them antibiotic resistance. All the bacteria are mixed together and you don’t know which is which. A screening would be if you sequenced every single bacteria. Screening is just brute forcing it. You could do that, or you could do a selection, such as growing all the bacteria on a plate containing the antibiotic, so only the resistant bacteria would survive and grow colonies. You could then sample these cultures and have pure samples of only the resistant bacteria.

A selection isn’t always possible though. Sometimes a screening is your only option. However, it’s always quite satisfying when you can come up with a clever selection.

When the first midterm of the class came around, there was a screening vs selection question. The premise was that you had generated a library of mutations in E. coli, and you were looking to get only bacteria without a specific mutation. This mutation did not serve any biochemical purpose but its sequence was known. It did not grant the bacteria any specific immunity, produce any protein, etc. But the professor wanted us to come up with a way to kill ONLY those bacteria.

I left that question for last because I couldn’t figure it out for the life of me. The previous selections I’d seen always involved taking advantage of some kind of resistance or enzyme. I’d never seen a selection like this. I thought and I thought and I thought about it. Eventually I remembered CRISPR. The CRISPR-Cas9 system is a mechanism for gene editing. It can recognize specific sequences in DNA, cut it, and make any edits you want into that location. You can alter the recognition sequence of CRISPR by editing the single guide RNA.

And so, the selection I came up with was to make the mutated sequence the guide RNA, so that CRISPR-Cas9 could find it in the bacterial genome. Cas9 (an enzyme that cuts DNA) would then cut the DNA only at our mutated sequence. It could then insert a lethal gene into that spot, which would kill only the bacteria with the mutation we wanted to discard. I used my last few minutes in the exam to write my answer for that question as fast as I could. There were many possible correct answers to that question. My professor said before the exam that if we were asked to come up with a selection, as long as the one we wrote made sense and could fill the purpose, it’d be correct.

I got it right 😌

It’s my favorite experiment because I came up with it on the fly, and it was my first time coming up with a selection on my own. It made me feel like I’d become a better scientist because of it. I got a B+ in that class, but I worked harder for that B+ than any A in my life, and what I learned in that class was extremely valuable for my scientific career. I have no regrets.

[maocin]

To my understanding this is a bit of a "you'll know it when you see it" but I think one could broadly generalize the deer skull Christian god stuff and pomegranate stuff as separate instances of the same thing.

Deer skull Christian god is when white Americans living on razed land and immersed in hegemonic Christian culture look into a new-growth forest and start talking about connecting to Nature and to the Old Gods. It's "pagans" who are just putting a fresh coat of mythological paint on the protestant values their grandparents had. It's the modern version of those hudson river valley school painters. You might see what I'm talking about in the context of landscape painting, how there's either "pretty tree (I like to paint trees)" or "pretty tree (granted thus to mankind by the LORD our God, and the God of our fathers, and of Isaac, and of Abraham, and of Jacob)". Normally the difference is the lighting.

Pomegranate poetry is all those poems you see about how love is like a pomegranate because it stains your hands and you want to eat the other person and it's very difficult but very rewarding. This one if you Google you will find hundreds of examples very quickly. It was a good metaphor the first time it was written, I'm sure, but when it's the ten thousandth poem, it starts to be annoying. Melodramatic instead of evocative.

The broad category of this Thing that's being complained about is, I _think_, the tendency of unskilled, uncurious, or uninteresting writers to return to popular figurative language instead of being inspired to write their own, leading to tons of overwrought writing that falls flat due to the lack of thought, intent, and depth. Combine that with the Tumblr Tone (tm) that I'm sure you have some familiarity with and you get this angsty style of writing that's just tossing figurative language out there, often stuff that the writer has absolutely no connection to.

This is all thoughts though. I can try to find some posts of the original thing to rather than posts mocking it, but this sort of stuff is dying out now that people are so sick of it. That, or the current crop of these writers has gotten mature enough to not post their slop and we'll get some different boring trite motifs when the next ones come along. Really it should be always remembered that I don't know anything about anything and am just guessing.

I think it's important to occasionally make fun of Deer Skull Christian God Pomegranate type writing for the exact same reason that you have to actually write that sort of thing. You have to develop an original voice as an author and that will inevitably take you through the Faux Gothic Melodrama Swamps.

[bethanydelleman]

Hi, bit of a rambly question :) So in the story I’m writing, my protagonist is a young widow from Joseon living in London. Due to her connections, she’s living among the upper middle class and finds herself back in the marriage market. The family that she lives with call her by her (new) Christian name, and she has a maid that came with her from her homeland, who calls her “my lady,” same as she did back home. But what I can’t quite figure out is what other people (acquaintances, other servants besides her own maid) would call her. I had just thought it would be Miss Kang, but since she’s been married, I guess Mrs is more likely, but then would it be Mrs Kang (her own surname) or Mrs Jeong (her late husband’s surname) even though her name was never Jeong by Joseon marriage conventions? Or would the difference in culture and the fact that her husband died long before she got to England just revert her English name back to Miss Kang?

I think we can safely assume that most people in London at this time would have very little understanding of Korean culture, so it depends how much your protagonist understands when she's first asked to introduce herself or how she wants to be seen.

Being widowed is culturally significant in both Korea and England at that time, so "Mrs." is the obvious choice to me. As for what surname to use, her own surname is the natural choice from her perspective, but if she is trying to assimilate, she might choose her husband's surname. I don't know what immigration/visas were like in that time, but if she did do any paperwork, she'd probably have given the surname "Kang" because that would be before she'd know about the women taking names thing.

I really don't think she'd use "Miss" though, ever, because having been married is part of her status and gives more freedom.

[strawberryblondebutch]

Am I remembering correctly that one of the sirens' structural flaws this padt season was just how young their team is? And they just tossed aside some of the few veterans they had to get even more rookies? I feel like it was very telling when fillier had to throw the whole team on her back when carpenter was injured (it didn't work great) despite being a rookie. Am I right to be skeptical of this strategy, if it can be called that

Sometimes when I talk about sports I talk about numbers and studies. Other times — because most of my experience is from playing the game — I talk about woo woo feelings bullshit that has no scientific basis but that I believe very strongly. For instance, I don’t like separating best friends, because the season is long and emotionally taxing and when you’re on the road a lot, it helps to have a buddy there.

The WNBA and PWHL have a leg up when it comes to young teams, which is that… their rookies actually know how to play the damn sport. The NBA and NHL throws kids with raw talent but no fundamentals right into the deep end, and the sink-or-swim approach is. Well. Bad!

However, veteran players provide two major strengths to a team:

Identity. These are players in leadership positions who set the tone for the team. The Fleet and Charge had very strong identities last year under Knight and Jenner. The Sirens were already on weaker standing there — if anything, it was Carpenter’s team, and then she got hurt — but now it’s Fillier’s team, and that’s a lot of responsibility on such a young player. The quote about her having a voice on personnel was crazy. She should be the team’s Han Solo — there to shoot.

Veterans have SEEN SOME SHIT. They hold their composure better in stressful situations because it is not the craziest thing to happen to them. When you don’t have that presence, you get the 2023 Baltimore Orioles, who won 101 regular season games but were swept in the playoffs because oh shit oh fuck there’s pressure on us this is scary what are we doing.

I also don’t love that NY has decided that they are The Rookie Team, because in my experience, a team works best as a relay. The Frost, to their credit, have done this very well with three micro-cores of players. KCS (33), Lee/Nic (31), and Taylor/Grace (25) are all from different eras. You can’t put all the pressure on Kalty/Casey/Fillier.

I have more thoughts on the Sirens culture and character (or lack thereof) that are even less coherent, but yeah. Bottom line I don’t like that they’re going all in on children. And some of that is sentimental because I really wanted OB to have a season where she could be a kid with no responsibility and she is almost certainly going to get honorary leadership duties 🫠

[cressidagrey]

the override chapter hurttttt. kids should not be tested before middle school if they are not unhappy in their environment!

i’m the youngest of 5, my parents couldn’t afford to send me to daycare so i stayed with family friends all day everyday (constantly surrounded by adults), it stressed my parents out to send me to preschool since my siblings were 4+ years older than me so they kept me “home” even longer (even more time around adults). kindergarten through 1st grade i was “homeschooled” with other kids of all ages by family and friends. i was happy. i read significantly more and significantly better than the 2 or 3 other kids my age so they had me learn everything 2nd grade during the summer and sent me to 3rd. 2/4 of my older siblings skipped a grade so they thought it’d be fine but just to be sure they got me tested. my scores on anything educational were phenomenal for a 6 year old, but i lacked significant amounts of social skills. i was too obedient, and chronically shy. i was in ballet but i had a russian ballet teacher so socialization wasn’t exactly encouraged. they suggested i skip a grade but keep me “home” and try to teach me some social skills. 6 turning 7 in the 3rd grade, at “home” with one other girl 7 turning 8 in the same grade as me. my only friend….she hates me now. i made her feel dumb, in her own bedroom, just by existing. i can’t really blame her for that. 4th grade they sent me to public school…..immediate social anxiety. every year was the same, i was they youngest, and treated as the bar to reach. i met my best friend (yes we’re still best friends) in 5th grade but i didn’t have a class with her until 8th so i was insanely lonely. every year “see?! even SHE doesn’t understand it!” “if she can pass this class, so can you” “she’s literally two years younger than you guys, and she’s the only one who got it right”

i’m 21 now, and burnt out. i’m avoiding college like the plague. i have absolutely no desire to learn anything else. i went from the gifted child (well one of them) to the disappointment child (well one of them). i still don’t know how to talk to people despite being told that im charming and mature for my age (im deathly afraid of upsetting anyone and making them hate me)

i was happy where i was, until some teacher just had to make it a thing that i enjoyed reading. my kids will not be tested for ANYTHING, unless they are unhappy by MY standards.

First off, I just want to say thank you for sharing something so personal.

It sounds like you’ve gone through a lot, and the weight of those experiences is so clear in your words.

Your story really resonates with what we see with gifted kids who are pushed to perform beyond their emotional readiness or social development.

It’s not just about academic ability—it’s about mental and emotional growth too, and that needs to be acknowledged. The whole idea of being “the bar to reach” is not fair, especially when you’re a young kid who just needs time to be a kid and find your social footing.

I mangen to get through school and write pretty much straight As without ever needing to study. Which means, I never learned how to study.

And you can't go to law school without studying. So I had a bit of a culture shock of feeling very dumb very quickly.

What you said about not wanting your future kids to be tested unless they’re unhappy by your standards is also incredibly important.

I also want to say that it’s okay to feel burnt out. College is not the only way forward, and you don’t have to push yourself into that mold just because it’s expected. Take the time you need to heal, figure out what feels right for you, and find your way forward in a way that prioritizes your mental health and happiness.

Thank you for sharing all of this with me. I’m sending you so much love and strength 💖

[andy-wm]

This is where I stand

I'm discovering that quite a few people in this community have different ideas of what engaging with Jikook content looks like, and that's to be expected I guess.

And yeah, things can get heated when we disagree, especially if we disagree on sensitive issues, but we should be able to have a rational discussion about it.

For me, respect is a big part of being here. I don't see Jikook as entertainment or as something to consume. For me, being in their world, even on the periphery, is a privilege.

I'm overtly aware that they are fallible human beings living in a sometimes ruthless world, and that their relationship is a precious fragile thing. Im also aware there are thousands of people trying to tear them down for any number of reasons from prejudice to jealousy. So many people who would love to see them fail.

Yesterday I went at somone who was unfortunately the last in a long line of people sharing what I consider to be inappropriately personal and invasive content. That person didn't deserve to be verbally slapped by me and I've since apologised. And I am genuinely sorry i lashed out at them. Considering how peeved I get when I'm on the receiving end on that type of thing, you'd think id be more conscientious. I've got no excuse. I'll do better in future.

The other thing I need to own is yes, i did engage with the photo of Jikook in NY on their way to dinner when they were about to start filming AYS. And yes, I've since reflected on that and it wasn't right thing to do. So I'm not taking the moral high ground here.

I'm quite okay with reflecting on my actions and looking at situations from all sides. I don't mind hearing constructive criticism because i sure as hell don't think I'm perfect. In fact I appreciate the feedback. Growth comes from seeing things in new ways and reconsidering your viewpoint, right?

So why am i making this post?

Partly because i can be hot headed and an asshole and sometimes I say and do things I regret. The best way to deal with my regret is to acknowledge my mistakes.

But I'm also making this post because the way the Jikook community is sharing this particular content seems careless and irresponsible.

You can say i'm overreacting but the voice recording that was shared? To me that is wrong on every level. And it was posted and reposted before a translation was available - even worse.

Compare the current situation to when Jikook were shooting AYS.

When the boat owner shared a photo of them, ARMY was ready to tear that man's legs off. I don't see how it's suddenly okay to share videos of what are possibly/probably private moments after that response to a photo on a boat. Is it just because it's apparently army taking the videos?

So what exactly are our standards here? What's okay to share? Some of the justifications I've had thrown at me are so flimsy they're barely comprehensible.

Maybe I am being overcautious - the lawful-good part of my brain can be very black and white. And like every paladin, i can be overzealous.

But my thinking is that none of what's being shared is ok to share.

Firstly because we always used to work hard not to spoil content. When BTS went to NZ to film BV4 we had code words and chat groups actively working to send people in the wrong direction if they thought they spotted BTS.

Secondly, with Jikook especially, the careful editing and the presence of staff around them when they're filming means they aren't accidentally (or purposefully) exposed.

We know they push that line, even when they're working. So when they're not working, when they believe they're alone and incognito, there's every chance they'll push it further.

And they should be able to.

They've been in a more socially progressive country and so maybe just this one time they could hold hands while walking down a road.

But that can never happen if there's a culture of not respecting their privacy.

We don't need to wonder why Jimin sang "I wanna hold your hand" in SGMB. That's their situation. Holding hands is a simple pleasure of life denied to them.

I see people discussing how Jikook always choose Japan for their personal time and it's pretty easy to understand why. Their privacy is taken more seriously, despite the huge number of J-army who are Jikookers. I'm not saying there's no breech of privacy but far more care is taken to keep their location and activities quiet. Even now we have almost no images of them in Japan despite the number of times theyve been there together.

I wish more of I-army had the same outlook.

Feel free to disagree with me. I'm sure plenty of people do. They can always find ways to justify their choices. But i live by the mantra that what you walk past is what you accept. So i will continue to call out posts or content that in my mind cross the line.

I'm not going to be an asshole about it but I'm also not going to stand aside when i feel there's an issue.

As always, I'm happy to have a rational conversation but please do us both a favour and block me now if you don't like my outlook.

No hard feelings.