#BPAD

[battle-with-bipolar]

20 years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. A serious mood disorder that can cause mania, psychosis, anxiety and depression. It has changed my life in more ways than I can imagine. I was only 14 when it first happened. My first time being dragged away to a psychiatric ward. For those who think it’s a holiday, trust me, it’s not. It’s a scary and isolating place to be. I was scared to sleep in my room unless a nurse was with me in case I thought one of the other patients was going to hurt me. Bipolar has robbed me of countless friendships, relationships, jobs and family. Anytime I’ve ended up in the psych ward it’s been for months at a time and my parents didn’t know if I would ever end up getting better. It’s endless amounts of monitoring, medication and blood tests. I would never wish this mental illness on anybody. It’s debilitating and the worst part is, no one can see it until it surfaces. And when it does surface, it’s a monster that turns you into something you thought you’d never be and can’t be in control of. I’m scared to meet new people because I’m worried once they find out I have bipolar they will leave me or think I’m crazy. I’ve also had 12 rounds of electro convulsive therapy at the age of 16 and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. They had to wheel me out in a wheelchair because I was too out of it to walk.

It’s an invisible illness that transforms your life into chaos. I’ve been in hospital more times than I can count and every time it’s been a scary, unpredictable ride. I hope this post can bring some clarity and explanation to people that may not know about this serious mood disorder and how it can tear someone’s life apart. It’s the reason I can’t work full time in case I relapse and end up in hospital and end up with no income. I also made a video years ago about my first experience with the illness and have reached many people that deal with the same thing. If you have read this far, Thankyou. If you can find it in your heart to understand people with this illness unlike many others I also Thankyou. I have a psychiatrist who I see regularly to make sure I am alright and able to function on my medication. Til then, I hope this sheds some light on mental illness, because we shouldn’t be shaming anybody for having any sort of illness, whether it is physical or mental.

[pierayanna]

it feels so weird whenever I feel the need to mention my identity lmaooo (like im bragging lol)

but it’s like these random things about me has shaped me into the person i am because it literally dictates all my interactions with others, all my experiences, how I’m treated, how I’m perceived, literally everything. And it was never my choice. So ofc i will continue to mention it but it’s jarring and unnatural sometimes lol

[doctorsickx]

*goes through a hard time*

Me: I must be pretending

*feels incredibly lonely and wants to talk to someone*

Me: ew I'm too needy and weak

*experiences shitloads of emotional pain*

Me: stfu you're not a baby, gulp it down alone like an adult

[sodreamerpeach]

one of the hardest things for me in having bpad is emotional instability. like. tf you mean i was feeling okay just a minute ago and now i'm bawling my eyes out because of some minor inconvenience?

[marfa-g]

THE FACE OF MY ANXIETY

TW: personality disorder

a strange attempt to cope with my complex and incomprehensible emotions

[skin-slave]

"I'm Fine" Moodboard

[faebygxrl]

hihi I'm fae!! moving to Tumblr after Twitter has gone to heck

a bit about me~

🍄 mentally ill

🍄 pro recovery

🍄 studying psychology

🍄 they/them

🍄 aries tornado

🍄 vegan

🍄 witch

🍄 bassist

let's be friends 😊💕

[tigerdragon1001]

Getting #real for a sec on here, but I went back to therapy for the first time in almost two years, and it turns out I might be bipolar. The therapist stressed we don’t wanna jump the gun and to just observe but… it’s weird to think about. A few years ago, a friend floated the same idea. And I dunno… I’ve suspected, because my mood and self-esteem seems to oscillate a lot. But it’s scary. I’ve felt volatile in the past and knowing that might be intrinsic to me and not just a bad point in my life is scary.

[dansungie]

✧ ᵎᵎ 🎀 𝗔𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗠𝗲

﹒⌕ pronouns: she/her 💞

﹒⌕ hobbies: languages (learning in gen), tutoring, singing, poetry 💗

﹒⌕ socials: @bangtssy on Twitter 🩷

﹒⌕ time zone : GMT+1 💖

﹒⌕ age: 20 (aug 14) 💕

﹒⌕ ana, bed, BPAD, depression, anxiety 👛

﹒⌕ 155 cm 💅🏻

[chessb0r3d]

Bipolar creature also known as the iykyk creature (to be pronounced as 'eekyeek') (Requested by @2drunkbugs )

Its faces? Those are fur patterns, and their expressions are the way they are. The same for the legs.

[bixiaoshi]

man i feel so unfair when i talk abt how my relationship with my mom makes me feel

[pierayanna]

hate how fear in how i was patented kept me so sheltered, anxious, scared, worried, and socially & emotionally stunted. it was already going to be difficult as a black queer femme with autism & bpad and it was exacerbated by keeping me from developmental milestones, by keeping me away from my peers and doing things people my age should’ve been doing. and it came more from her own fear than keeping me safe. you can keep your child safe and not keep them sheltered/a wreck.

[doctorsickx]

If my mental illnesses weren't enough, the seasonal cold has been sitting on my head making my mind even more cloudy and jammed. How is any of this fair?

[puraiuddo]

anybody else have insanely powerful bursts of inspiration and motivation that last for approximately 10 minutes and then vanish into melancholy and/or exhaustion?

[valerieismss]

Fun fact about me is that I learned I was suspected to have tic disorder but it was ruled out…another fun fact is that I don’t actually have my bipolar diagnosis (a diagnosis given to me TWICE by TWO DIFF PSYCHIATRISTS) documented..?? They still have me listed as MDD. A third fact…OCD diagnosed obvi and now I am one million percent sure that all of my psychiatrists agree I am autistic. Like it’s on paper I have a diagnosis it’s there. I sometimes freak myself out and start to believe I don’t actually have a diagnosis for some reason but no I checked with my psychiatrist and it’s on there

[skin-slave]

I am completely normal again (can shower more than once a week)