#Ben Jensen | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

waynes-multiverse · 2 months

Note

Can I put in the request for Ben to “support the fine arts?” 🤣

A/N: Hahaha you may! Hope you have fun with this! Based on this drabble and this little ask 😝

Pairing: Soldier Boy x F!Reader

Warnings: +18/NSFW, smut (oral m), degrading, dirty talk, weird jealousy on both side, SB being a manipulative asshole

Word Count: 2.5k

Main Masterlist || Dirty Drabbles Masterlist

He Comes In Colors

The chatter in the classroom quiets down as your teacher, Mrs. Fournier, enters. You and your friends finish your sentences in hush and take your seats in front of your respective easels, not wanting to upset the strict, older lady again.

But instead of her usual cantankerous and bitter features, she sports an unusually bright smile and pinkly flushed cheeks today, still giggling like a schoolgirl over a crush and looking in the direction of the hallway as she walks to her desk.

Bashfully, she clears her throat and fights to regain her composure. “Class, we have a change of plans. I know we were supposed to devote our attention to the intricacies of nature today, but an opportunity presented itself we simply cannot pass up on. We have a very special guest this beautiful afternoon, who so graciously volunteered to be our model for this class.”

Your chest tightens slightly at her words, encumbered with a dark forewarning that settles in your gut. And as you catch a flicker of an all too familiar sage green kimono by the door, the bad omen in your belly only grows.

He wouldn’t dare, you think. Would he?

But you don’t have to answer your own question. Deep down you already know.

Of course, he would.

“Ladies and gentlemen, meet our model for today – the one and only Soldier Boy,” Mrs. Fournier introduces, and you watch with parted lips as your stupid boyfriend strides into the classroom with an even stupider grin.

Mrs. Fournier claps with vivid adoration, expecting the class to follow her lead, but you can’t bring yourself to give him more than an annoyed slow clap. You shoot him a glare, and the smirk directed at you tells you he knows exactly what he’s doing. He aims to get on your nerves. He wants you to be mad.

Now, you’re sure you’ve done something in the last couple of days to upset him, and this is his way to enact his revenge instead of talking to you like an emotionally intelligent human being. Because Ben’s a fucking petty child, and this is how he deals with his feelings.

Ben offers his most charming red-carpet smile. “Pleasure to be here and support the fine arts, Mrs.–”

“Fournier,” your teacher provides all too helpfully.

“Ah, like fornicate. I can remember that,” Ben quips with a flirtatious smirk, while you suppress the sudden urge to stab him with the sharp end of your paintbrush.

You half expect the French woman to be appalled by the dirty joke. But to your big surprise, your over-sixty teacher only giggles in response like a high school freshman when the quarterback winks at her in the hallway.

“It is such an honor to have you here in my classroom, Soldier Boy,” Mrs. Fournier raves with a blush haunting her cheeks. “You have been my favorite superhero ever since I was a little girl.”

“Oh, so only ten years, huh?” Ben flirts shamelessly, all the while sending you little glances that let you know that this is your punishment.

Do you have a clue yet what you did? Nope! And you suppose you will never find out. You just have to get through this.

“Well, let’s get this show on the road, shall we?”

Soldier Boy devilishly rubs his palms together as he struts into the middle of the room, and with one flawless swing, he drops the robe and stands before you (and your classmates) in all his god-given glory. And boy, did God give – not only with two hands but probably with six or seven.

Mrs. Fournier gasps unabashedly with a palm on her weak heart and goddamn drool in your mouth, causing your frown only to deepen.

“Marvelous! Simply marvelous,” she rhapsodizes and is close to fainting. Of course, your boyfriend enjoys all this attention greatly. “It’s like staring at the statue of David!”

“Oh, please…” you mutter with a miffed scoff and roll your eyes back, but that only earns you a scolding glare from your teacher. You know then that showing your displeasure with the situation will only secure you a failing grade.

Ben then props his foot up on a little stool right in front of you, his cock hanging heavy and long between his muscular bow legs. And no, it’s not inflated to its full size but still as impressive and formidable as a lion king during a safari.

His gaze only sweeps across you before it lingers on your friend Alexander. There’s a cocky and yet threatening glint in your boyfriend’s eyes as he assesses the male next to you.

“Remarkable, isn’t it?” Soldier Boy prompts daringly. Only your boyfriend could talk about his dick like that and not even feel an ounce of shame. “Don’t worry, squirt. I’m sure yours is just fine,” he adds, but you know he doesn’t mean it.

And then, suddenly, it dawns on you – why he has decided to infiltrate your art class.

Two nights ago, you went out with Alexander and a few other friends from class for drinks and didn’t invite Ben. Mostly because Ben is obnoxious when he meets new people and is a little too “old-school values” for your hipster friends. It would take ages alone to even explain all their different sexualities and pronouns to your last-century boyfriend. You just wanted one night for yourself, and you knew now that hurt his feelings.

You even felt a tiny bit bad and guilty but by far not enough to accept this current shit show he was delivering.

“Oh my, I don’t want to be too forward but may I–” Your teacher doesn’t finish her sentence, but her reaching hand is suggestion enough.

Soldier Boy chuckles amusedly. “Oh, you may,” he says but smirks at you as you gape at him in utter indignation. “What kind of hero would I be, if I said no? After all, this body belongs to every American citizen.”

And as Mrs. Fournier’s greedy palm stretches for your boyfriend’s perky buttcheek, something inside you snaps. You jump up from your seat, all wild and fuming, before you realize everyone is staring at you with wide eyes and confused brows. No one knows you’re dating him, so your upset seems completely unwarranted to everyone else in the room. Only Ben’s lips rise triumphantly.

“Be-… Soldier Boy,” you correct yourself and clear your throat, forcing a tight-lipped smile on your face. “A word, please?”

“Y/N, we’re in the middle of a class. Show our guest some respect,” your teacher demands chidingly.

But Ben soothes her anger with another charming smile. “Oh, absolutely no problem, beautiful,” he says and causes Mrs. Fournier to blush once more. “Y/N here is clearly an adoring fan, and I always have time for my fans.”

“Yes, I’m a huge fan. I’ve never met a real celebrity before. My grandma will be so thrilled when I tell her all about it,” you lie as dryly as possible. Honestly, you’re so pissed you can’t get yourself to act remotely convincing.

“We’ll be right back,” Ben excuses with a tight smile.

He quickly throws his robe back on and grabs your upper arm, ushering you outside. You want to stop in the hallway, but he drags you further and shoves you into a supply closet, closing the door a little too roughly.

“You know the rules: no fucking drama in public. It’s not good for my image,” he reminds you sternly, and you try not to scoff.

“How dare you say that after waltzing into my goddamn class? Ben, my education is serious. You don’t mess with that,” you point out angrily and fold your arms over your tits. “I don’t have time for your petty revenge.”

“Yeah, you never have fucking time,” he huffs scornfully.

“Is this because I didn’t invite you for drinks with my friends?” You cock an eyebrow, shooting him a knowing look.

“No, this is because you went out with that fucking empty nutsack in there,” he bites and points an angry finger at you. “And by the way, you’d be fucking lucky to show me off. I’m a fucking catch! Have you seen how those bitches fawned over me in there?”

“Who? Mrs. Fournier? That old hag hasn’t seen any action since the French Revolution. She’d fawn over a fucking trash bag,” you retort and watch Ben purse his lips dejectedly. You smirk a little at your win.

But you don’t want to antagonize him more. You can tell that you hurt his fragile ego with your rejection, and while he fucking annoys you and drives you incredibly mad sometimes, you’re still deeply in love with the idiot in front of you. He does have his sweet moments every once in a while. He comes in many colors, a whole palette of different shades.

“Look, uhm, I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean to, okay? I don’t want you to be jealous. You have no reason to be, alright? I love you, asshole,” you tell him with a small smile.

“Fine, maybe I was a little jealous,” he admits after a beat. “But not of that scrawny twinkie in there.”

“Alright, maybe I was a little jealous, too,” you remark to make him feel better. “But not of that old French whore in there.” Ben snorts at that, chuckling. “So, do you forgive me and get the fuck outta my class now?”

Ben muses slyly and then grins. “I don’t think that apology was good enough.” Your brow draws into a deep frown at his words. Whatever has gotten into his mind now can’t be good. “They do say an apology is only worthy if it’s said on someone’s knees.”

You glare at him, your hands balling into furious fists by your side. “You gotta be kidding me…” you mutter and hiss through your teeth, “Ben, I’m not fucking blowing you in the supply closet of my school!”

Ben only shrugs carelessly. “Alright, guess I’ll have to ask Mrs. French Whore and see if she takes me up on my offer.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” you grit.

“Oh, we both know I would, but I do prefer your beautiful and warm mouth, doll,” Ben smirks, letting each word roll off his tongue as his thumb pad reaches out and seductively traces your pink lips.

Instinctively, you suck his thumb into your mouth and massage it with your tongue, only widening his brash smile. As your eyes flicker down, you notice his rock-hard cock push through the fabric of the kimono and salute you. Your legs grow wobbly at the sight, your knees giving in with the urge to bend.

“Down,” he mouths, and you oblige without another protest, sinking to your knees in front of him.

You part your lips and stick your tongue out, ready to welcome his swollen tip. He fists his length and jerks his palm up and down a few times. He likes it to be as big as possible. He loves to see you struggle as you desperately try to fit all of him inside your tiny mouth.

His free hand lifts your chin, forces your eyes to find his as he guides his cock to your waiting mouth. He plops it on your tongue, heavy and thick, and lets it rest there for a second, gauging your reaction with a knowing smirk. You seal your lips around his weeping tip without question, your tongue swirling around it and dipping into the slit. You lick the salty precum with moans of pleasure, your hums sending vibrations up and down his length as your head begins to bob.

With each swallow you get closer to his pelvic bone, but Ben’s impatient and fists his hand into your hair. He roughly tugs and pulls you all the way down till your nose disappears in the little tuft of hair and tears stream down your cheeks as you cough for air.

“Yeah, that’s it, baby girl. Choke on my cock, you little slut,” he growls. His hips rock and find a rhythm as he thrusts inside you, hitting the back of your throat each time. “Fuck, that’ll teach you a lesson, won’t it? Who do you fucking belong to?”

He pulls you off his spit-drenched cock for the sole reason of replying. You look up at him as he expectantly meets your gaze with an arched eyebrow.

“You, daddy,” you reply on command.

He smirks in satisfaction and praises you, “There’s my good girl.” He tightens his grip on your hair and pushes back inside you. “Gonna send you back in with my cum all over you. Show those little pricks they can’t fucking touch what’s mine.”

As his hips gain speed, you hollow your cheeks and suck harder, feeling him swell on your tongue. Your jaw begins to ache, barely fitting his girth while his massive length drills relentlessly into your throat. Drool dribbles out from the sides of your mouth and mixes with your tears. Your mascara is nonexistent at this point and smeared all over your face.

And you know damn well, as soon as you walk back into class, everyone will know what you did.

“Such a good little whore for me,” Ben groans and pistons deeper once more, squeezing his eyes shut. You know it’s his telltale sign that he's close. “You’re such a fucking mess. Shit, gonna blow…”

He grunts as his hips stutter and his cock throbs in your mouth. He shoots hot ropes of cum down your throat, pulling out in the midst to paint your face with the rest. God knows he would never miss an opportunity to mark you. And when he’s done with his piece of sublime artwork, he smirks down at you, all self-satisfied and proud.

But then a bit of sweetness returns as he holds out his hands and helps you back on your feet. He gently tucks and brushes your hair back into place before snatching a roll of paper towels from the rack of art supplies behind you. He thoroughly cleans your face, removing any evidence of his deed, and kisses your hairline like you’re his most prized possession when he’s finished.

“There, all done, doll.” Ben’s smile makes you blush as he cups your cheeks. “No one will be the fucking wiser.”

As the two of you saunter back inside, no one seems to suspect anything. You get back to your original seat, while Ben invents some silly excuse to get out of his naked commitment.

But then Alexander tilts his head at you with a furrowed brow and narrowed eyes, his finger pointing at his own cheek. “Y/N, uhm, I think you have something there. Oh, uhm, is that…”

He doesn’t finish as your eyes widen and your cheeks redden in embarrassment. Your shocked gaze darts to your boyfriend as he lingers by the door. With one last cunning smirk, he winks at you and heads out.

Yes, your boyfriend surely comes in many colors – and most of them are dark.

And yes, you bet your ass Ben was crushing hard on Mrs. Fournier 😂 Hope you enjoyed this!

PUT YOUR DIRTY THOUGHTS HERE

TAGS:

Everything Jensen: @alwaystiredandconfused @xlynnbbyx @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @blackcherrywhiskey @deansbbyx @foxyjwls007 @ladysparkles78 @roseblue373 @zepskies @agalliasi @hobby27 @globetrotter28 @mxltifxnd0m @lacilou @feyresqueen @suckitands33

#dirty drabbles #soldier boy #soldier boy/ben #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x you #soldier boy x y/n #soldier boy x femaler reader #soldier boy reader insert #soldier boy smut #the boys #the boys amazon #the boys x reader #the boys smut #jensen ackles

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selfdestructionandrhum · 3 months

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Jensen Ackles as Soldier boy.

#soldier boy #the boys #jensen ackles #jensen #ben #theboys #soldierboy #vought #smoking drugs #jensenedit #jensen ackles edit #jensenacklesedit #soldier boy edit #soldierboyedit #theboysedit #the boys edit #drug abuse

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k-slla · 17 days

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Fate, Or Something Like It | part 2 (SMUT)

A/N: So here it is! And it...is porn. Basically.🫣

This is a part 2 to a request I got sent and picks up right where we left off so If you haven't read part 1 yet, you can do it here :) (But you don't have to ofc:))

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Supe!Reader

Warnings: 18+ONLY-MDNI, OOC Ben, Dom!Ben, language, dirty talking, unprotected PinV (you know better than them, don't you?), oral (m and f receiving), slight dacryphilia, orgasm denial, degrading, praise kink, rough sex, choking, fingering, breeding kink, begging, overstimulation, hair pulling, fluff and angst(don't ask how these got lost in here😅) - I hope I didn't miss any.

Word count: ~9,2k │My Masterlist

A/N2: Just want to say that, as I understand, it is widely said that Ben actually didn't fight in WWll, but I sent him there for sure, just for this fic (even if it's just mentioned, I thought I'd clarify that :)

ENJOY!

You blinked at him like a deer in headlights when you saw Ben's eyes immediately fixing on the toy in your hands, and he raised his brows. “That's what you're using?” Low chuckle left his lips. “Honestly. I'm offended. You have a perfect cock on demand on the other side of your door, and that's what you choose?”

Ben walked towards your bed and just stood there, looking down on you, a smirk on his lips. “Tell me, Y/N, would that really get you off? Would that really give you what you need?” He asked, words slowly rolling off his lips and then nodded towards the pink vibrator in your hands. You looked down at it, and decided to give in to his little power play he kept going on. You knew you wanted it, why torture yourself more?

You swallowed hard, before looking up at him from under your lashes. “No, Ben, it wouldn't.”

The bed creaked slightly under his weight as he kneeled down on it and pulled you onto your knees to face him. The intensity of his gaze made you lightheaded.

“What would make you come then?” He teasingly brushed his thumb over your trembling lips.

“I- y-y..” You tried. You tried to get some words out, but you were not making sense even to yourself. What is wrong with me?

Ben roughly grabbed your jaw, the suddenness of his move made you whimper loudly and you felt the arousal pool between your legs. He lowered himself close to your face, lips almost touching yours. “I already know the answer. Do you know the answer?”

You gulped, berating yourself in your head. Get a fucking grip, Y/N. You wanted this.

Taking a deep breath in, you tried to steady your voice before answering him. “You.” You swallowed again. “You would, Ben.”

His kiss was electrifying to the rest of your body. Goosebumps rose on your skin and it felt like your first time all over; your heart thumped loud and head started to spin almost immediately. Ben's lips were soft, but the force they latched onto yours was knee-weakening. And it ended too soon. You hungrily chased after his lips when he pulled away.

“Aren't you a needy one?” He laughed when he pulled you up with him from the bed. He took his time to admire you standing in front of him, only in your tank top, that left a little to nothing to imagination with the way it showcased your nipples through the thin fabric.

Ben lightly ran his hand over your bare thighs, moving slowly upward, making you shiver under his touch. He locked it in your loose bun, tugging your hair slightly. With the other hand he grabbed yours and placed it directly over his tented sweatpants.

“Feel this? This is because of you.” You started to rub him over the pants, enticing a low hum out of him. You looked down at his cock still covered by those stupid sweatpants and let out a shuddering breath in anticipation.

“You want this, don't you? Want me to fuck your little cunt instead of that toy?” His voice was low and breathy, but his fist tugged harder on your hair. You nodded eagerly.

“I knew it. You were just too cowardly to ask for it, right?”

“Please. Yes, Ben.”

He picked you up and walked back into the living room, kissed you harshly once more, ending it this time with a sharp bite on your lower lip.

“Can't even tell you how many times, even just today I imagined those beautiful lips around my cock.” You grabbed onto his hair and pulled him back into the kiss. He wasn't quite fond of the way you tried to take control and shoved his fingers between your legs, starting to rub your clit mercilessly. Unable to speak, you grasped onto his shirt and let your head fall down to his chest. You could feel yourself closing in already to climax, a sweet sensation building inside you. “What did you try to do, sweetheart? Huh?” With his free hand he harshly grabbed your chin to look up. “You tried to take control?” Ben smiled down at you arrogantly. “This will teach you.” He suddenly pulled away his hand from between your legs, making you cry out from the loss of your long-awaited release.

“You want to go back to your toy there?” He murmured into your ear and turned you around in his arms to face your room, fingers digging deep into your hips.

“No.” You managed to whisper.

He pulled you backwards back into him, and you could feel his rock solid cock pressing into your lower back. “Will you then take what I'll give you?” He asked slowly.

“Yes.”

You didn't see his face, but you heard from his voice he was grinning next to your ear. “Will I hear you complaining?”

“No, Ben.”

He turned you back around to face him and smiled sweetly this time. But that smile made you afraid of what was coming. “On your knees then.”

You kept eye contact as you sank down to your knees in front of him. “Open up. Good girl.” He praised you as you opened your mouth, waiting for his next move. He slowly slid his thumb in and as you promised not to complain, you hid your disappointment of that not being his cock, and closed your lips around him, starting to suck on it. Swirling your tongue around him, you tried to keep your best behavior, hoping he'd keep his games slow with you, because you had no idea for how long you would be able to take his teasing.

Ben knew exactly how he was torturing you. He knew how each of his words and little moves made you flood for him. But that didn't make him move any faster. He pulled his thumb from your lips and cupped your cheek. “You are such a pretty sight, just waiting to be fucked. I bet you'll take my cock as well, won't you?” You nodded desperately. His praises had you shaking in front of him already.

You kneeled on the floor, waiting for him to continue, but Ben decided to take his time, enjoying the view of you. It had been a while since he was with someone as young as you. He had a preference for older women, for a reason. He had told you before that it was ‘experience’, but in reality there were no permanent consequences with them. Seeing you down in front of him though, definitely made Ben want to shoot his swimmers up in you, giving you no choice but to carry his babies. He knew that deep inside you'd want that. It was written all over your face.

Unhurriedly he removed his shirt and threw it to the couch behind him.

“Arms up.” You raised your hands and he pulled off the remaining piece of clothing you had left, leaving you there bare, shivering and dripping in between your legs.

“Ben, please.” You begged quietly for him to hurry up.

“ ‘Ben please’ what?” He repeated your plea. He finally took off his pants and was standing before in all his glory. It was hard for you to pull your attention away enough to answer him.

“Please hurry, I need it..” you whined, but Ben took a step back and tsked in disapproval, shutting you up immediately. He slowly began stroking his dick while towering above you, loving the hungry look on your face.

“That to me sounds like a complaint. Do you even want to cum today?” He looked at you expectantly. “Go on. Answer me.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Will you take what I'll give you?” He repeated himself again from before.

You nodded, almost desperate now. “Yes.”

Ben stepped towards you, strictly staring you down. “Will you keep complaining?”

You turned your eyes down under his heated gaze. “No.”

“Don't turn away now, Y/N. Look at me.” You turned to look up at him again through your lashes, staring right into his lust blown green, with a hint of smile on your face. “You'll take what I'll give you and I don't want to hear another word. Understand?” He looked questioningly at you and you nodded agreeingly.

You were aching for him all over your body. You wanted to tell him to hurry up, but this time knew better to hold your tongue.

“Open up.” He said softer this time and you perked up excitedly. “Oh, you are eager to get it, aren't you? To suck my cock, huh?” He brushed his thumb teasingly over the tip, pulling a needy whimper out of you at the sight.

But you said nothing this time, and obediently opened your mouth wide, pushing your tongue out waiting. Ben finally closed the distance between you and slowly guided himself into your mouth. “Ahh, fuck.. I've been waiting for this.” He muttered under his breath before letting out a long exhale. His cock rested on your tongue for a while, wide and heavy before he started to thrust. For a minute he kept his moves slow and eased, deceiving you with his intentions and clouding your mind with anticipation. You should've known better than that he would take it slow.

As soon as you relaxed before him, he started to quickly pick up the pace, making you brace yourself on his hips. Ben held tightly onto your hair to hold you in place for his steadily growing speed, while you tried to keep breathing through your nose. Tears started stinging in your eyes with each time his cock kept hitting the deepest spot in your throat roughly, but nevertheless you kept moaning under him.

"Oh, you like that?" Ben's grip tightened in your hair as you looked up and only managed to just nod in agreement. You hollowed out your cheeks for him, moaning in front of him and Ben didn't show a single sign of stopping fucking your throat ruthlessly. And you didn't want him to.

You must've looked like a mess already with spit and tears running down your cheeks, but you couldn't care less. And by the sounds leaving Ben's lips you knew that he enjoyed the look on your face, too. Maybe a little too much even.

Only obscene moans and grunts from both of you filled the apartment as he continued his attack on your mouth for what seemed forever, without slowing down.

Almost choking on your own spit, you had to finally tap out. After a few last deeper thrusts, Ben pulled out, string of saliva dripping from the tip of his cock. You gasped and coughed loudly and sat back on your heels, smiling up at Ben as he stroked your tear-stained cheeks. “You took it real’ well, doll.” He muttered his praises as he gently helped you to stand up.

Ben pulled you again into a kiss while his hands roamed over your ass, squeezing hard. Carefully to not make you trip he started to move towards the kitchen.

You closed your eyes and a picture of him standing in front of you in his robe just a few days ago came up in your mind when his sloppy kisses moved down to your neck. Only now you had him for yourself completely. “Oh, Ben...” You sighed when his beard tickled your skin sweetly, and you turned your head to give him more access while your fingers wrapped around his dick at the same time. Ben groaned deeply against your skin and nibbled it lightly when you squeezed him. “Oh, darling, you just go after what you want, huh?” With one hand massaging his cock rather gently, you pulled his face back and moaned into the kiss while his tongue explored every corner of your mouth. “Mhmm...”

“I certainly respect that.” He pulled away from you, grinning and lifted you up on top of the kitchen island. The marbled table top was cold under you, contrasting your already sweaty skin when you laid down on it, breathing hard.

“Spread.” He said simply as he pushed your legs open and stood in front you so you’d stay that way. On display and all for him. You whined loudly when you felt cool air hit your core, making you quiver in front him.

“That is one gorgeous pussy..” He said admiringly, running his palms down your thighs, squeezing them. “Had to fucking control myself on Saturday, when I caught you staring not to take you right then and there.” He grinned seeing you squirm in front of him.

Ben's fingers slid through your slick pussy lips easily, making you cry out loud when he suddenly pushed two into you. “I bet Butcher and that other fuckface wouldn't have minded the show though..” He continued quietly, almost as if he spoke only to himself, but his hand picked up the speed. "You have no idea how many times I've nutted in these past three days, thinking of fucking your tight cunt. What a fuckin' dream you are.."

You shut your eyes tight and bit your lower lip hard when his thumb started to rub circles on your bud. Hearing him talk to you this way made you clenched around his fingers. You knew already you'd let him have his way with you as he pleases. Muffled moans from you turned slowly into cries as a slight tremble from the pleasure started to overtake your body.

“Please…Ben. Harder.” Your hips jerked up when his fingers curled up into your velvety walls. “Ahhh…Ben, I- I'm close! Please!” Your begs for him to bring you to climax were silenced by his lips.

You were completely intoxicated. Not just by that almost a whole bottle of whiskey you drank, but by him.

By his kisses and how his hot breath lingered on your skin when he pulled away.

By the way his strong body kept your legs from closing.

By his fingers slinking in and out of you rapidly, but yet so smoothly.

You were completely intoxicated by the green of his eyes that had you under his spell, and unable to look away from him.

Your mind was overtaken by him and the pleasure that was lifting you higher and higher, making you beg for him to make you cum. Every cell of your body needed it. Needed to have him in every way possible.

“Don't you dare to, Y/N. Don't you dare to cum yet.” He said sternly, but kept his hand moving, till you were almost crying beneath him.

“Please, Ben... fuck!” You held onto his shoulders, eyes fixated on each other. “Aahh…please, please, I-fuck!”

You were a mere second away from falling into the bliss, and he pulled his hand away.

“I told you no.” Ben stood up, flashing a bright smile, when he saw you desperately looking for his hand to pull him back. He had too much fun playing with you.

“God, you're an asshole! Fuck you!” You spat fiercely at him and leaned onto your elbows, breathing hard, looking at him licking his fingers clean from your juices. That was a sight that made your pussy clench again around nothing.

“I know I am. You will cum, Y/N. I can promise you that.” He approached you again, running his hands up your legs gently. “But tonight you will only cum on my cock, over and over, until I'm done with you, got it?”

He laughed as you suddenly flinched and moaned when he brushed his thumb over your swollen bud. “You didn't answer me, Y/N.”

“Yes! Until you're done with me! But, Ben, just fuck me please..” you begged him breathlessly.

“Yeah, you want it?” He asked softly as he brushed away some stray hair stuck to your forehead. There was not much left from the bun you made earlier in the evening. You were just a desperate mess under him.

He squeezed closer between your legs, sliding his cock through your folds, making you shiver when he moved it over your clit and rested it onto your lower stomach. “I told you’d beg for my cock, didn't I?” he purred quietly into your ear.

It was clear to you that he was deliberately driving you mad. Seeing him so close yet so far from where you needed him the most, drove you insane, and robbed you from any coherent thought that your brain tried to conjure.

“Want to know what I'm going to do to you tonight?” He asked you, and ran his hands over your breasts, squeezing them almost painfully, and moving his right hand up, closing it around your neck.

“Yes.” You answered hoarsely, feeling the sweetest burn in your throat as all the air got forced out of you.

He lowered himself close to your face, lips almost brushing yours. “I'm going to fuck you until you scream my name.” He tightened his grip around your neck.

“I'm going to fuck you until all the neighbors hear what a slut you actually are.” His left hand moved back to your breasts, pinching your nipples painfully, making you squeal from the sharp pain. “Because that's what you are, aren't you? A little slut, waiting to be fucked good.”

Tears were stinging your eyes and you nodded at his every word, but you didn't tell him to stop and you didn't turn your eyes from his ekanite green ones. You loved this.

“Do you know what happens to little sassy whores like you?” He loosened his grip again and waited for you to answer, but you only managed to shake your head. “With words.” He ordered and slapped your tit.

You yelped from the pain and a tear broke loose. “N-n-no.. I don't know.” He smiled seeing you in pain, almost crying and completely needy for him.

“Their cunts get fucked rough, filled till they're dripping. Used only as what they're good for- breeding.” Spitting out the last word, he finally gave you what you were waiting for and bottomed inside you with one quick move.

You cried out, feeling him stretch you like no one else before and instinctively you dug your nails into his skin. He stayed sheathed in you, letting you get a little used to his size.

“I don't think I can ever go back to fucking those old broads after you. Fuck, you're tight..“ He groaned loudly as he started to move with long, slow thrusts at first. “I‘m gonna fill that pussy good…That's what you want, don't you? For me to put some babies into you, huh?” Ben held onto your shoulder to keep you in place as he quickly started to slid in and out of you rapidly. The mixed feeling between pain and pleasure had you dazed.

“Fuck. Yes, please...” you panted out breathlessly, silent screams swallowing your voice as you reached almost to your peak again. You knew it would come fast, twice already had you been so close to it.

“Yes, what? Tell me, Y/N. What does the little slut want?” He definitely wasn't going easy on you tonight, but you weren't going to tap out now. You closed your eyes and took whatever he gave you.

Through all these sensations of him stretching, filling and pounding into you like you were nothing but a toy to him made you unable to think straight.

“I-fuck..give..I'll...take your…god…babies..” breathlessly you gave your best shot to answer him, but couldn't force out a single complete sentence.

Ben definitely enjoyed seeing you completely mindless and begging for him. He loved how you squeezed him just right, your pussy clenching around him, almost making it more difficult for him to keep moving. He's certainly going to love the feeling of you milking him dry.

“I’d have a chance to fuckin’ raise them right, so they wouldn't turn out like that sniveling cape-wearing pussy. You'd be a good Mommy to my kids, wouldn't you?”

“Yes, please...I'm-I..” you whispered and looked at Ben again. “So close..” Each of his thrust felt like he hit even deeper than before and made your eyes roll into your skull.

“You can cum, doll. All over me as I said.” He said between his moves and kissed you until you were almost there, ready to be sent over the edge. As the most intense wave of your orgasm hit, Ben pulled away from your lips, not to hold back your screams for him. “Fuck, Ben! Yes!” He didn't slow down his moves and fucked you through your orgasm. You let go of the last, smallest piece of dignity that was left in you and let Ben completely take over your body.

“Oh, fuck, fuck, god, I- I..ahhh, Ben!” Your voice was shrill and loud as you shut your eyes tight when each of his thrusts started to quickly turn into an overbearing one and the pleasure morphed into sweet burning pain inside you that weakened you all over.

“Please, Ben!” You tried to slightly push him off so you could catch a breath. “I can't take more..”

“Oh, no, sweetheart. I know you can.” Ben grinned. “Yeah...give me one more, baby.”

Legs still trembling, you tried to sit up, but Ben kept you from it, holding you down with his large palm on your chest.

“My..my back..hurts..” you grabbed his hand and looked at him pleadingly. his face was completely blank as he stared down at you for a second.

Wordlessly Ben still gave in to your whine, despite his earlier warnings and pulled you up from the table. He turned you around and pulled your back close to his chest, not leaving you empty for long. Bracing yourself on your wobbly feet, you held onto the countertop as he changed his rhythm into a much more relaxed one, hitting an even deeper spot in you. His speed was now deliberately slower as if he knew exactly what you needed from him.

Ben dug his blunt nails into your hips to hold you in place, and the newly rising climax made your head fall backwards onto his shoulder. He didn't even have to try. You knew you'd come easily even when he'd just stay still inside you. “Oh god…right there..” You shut your eyes tight, letting all your body weight fall onto him, savoring his every thrust.

He kissed your neck, before closing his hand around it, almost choking the life out of you, making your eyes roll back. "This does feel so much better, doesn't it?" With only being able to nod wordlessly, you did your best to answer him.

He began to gradually fasten his speed, until you were just a whimpering mess again.

"Please...please. OH, FUCK! YES!" You croaked out as loudly as you could and grabbed Ben's hair as another orgasm hit you hard, making you tense up on his cock still sliding in and out of you with all the speed he could muster up. You had no strength left in your muscles, relying fully on Ben to support you.

"Fuck, you're taking it so well, baby girl.." He groaned into your ear and slid his fingers between your legs, rubbing your already overly sensitive clit until you were squirming in pleasure of almost reaching your third climax in such a short span. "Gonna make you cum with me.. fill you up good.. yeah..give me one more, sugar..." His hot breath on your cheek and his fingers between your legs were mind-numbing, making you once again scream out loud.

Ben pulled you snugly closer to his body as he made a few finishing moves before his last deep thrust, coming to a stop, balls deep in your pussy, spilling his seed into you. "Fucking hell.." Ben slowly slid his cock out, letting his cum drip out of you. “Shit, you okay, sweetheart?” He asked a little worriedly, watching you gasp for air, still in his arms. With shaky hands, you brushed a few fallen strands off your face. “Yeah.. I'm good..” you whispered, trying to catch your breath.

He turned you face to face with him and pulled you into a gentler kiss than he previously gave you. "If that doesn't change your attitude, then I'm out of fucking options."

Being on cloud 9 wasn't comparable with what you were feeling at the moment. "Or maybe I'll just need another lesson, if they turn out like this."

You took a quick look at the clock over Ben's shoulder. It was past one and you had to work in the morning. "Fuck, it's late. I need to go to bed.." you whispered a little sadly and put your arms around his neck, holding onto him tight, and letting your weak body recover for a minute.

It felt so foolish, but you didn't want to let go of him. You closed your eyes, sighing in satisfaction, and relishing each kiss Ben left on your shoulders and neck, slowly making his way back up to your lips. "Not having regrets, are we?" He murmured against them, running his hands up and down your sides softly.

"No, Ben. No regrets." You smiled widely. "But we should probably hit the shower before bed." You tapped on Ben's biceps, slightly covered from the sweat you had worked up.

"That would be smart." He laughed lightly as you wiggled out of his arms. "Go ahead, I'll take one after."

Putting your hands on your hips determinedly, you turned around on the bathroom door. "I don't know how it was forty something years ago, but today saving clean water is a big priority in the world." Your lips curled into a cheeky lopsided grin. "Don't tell me you're going to waste water by showering alone when we have a perfect opportunity to take one together."

He raised his hands in defeat and chuckled, slowly walking towards you. “Can't argue with that.” You knew your face must've lit up like a Christmas tree when you saw that your cheeky "save the water" talk worked. Grinning victoriously you walked into the shower, swaying your hips teasingly in front of him with each step you took.

Complete truth was, you just didn't want to spend the night alone. You hoped that Ben, too, was missing on just holding onto someone through the night. Someone who wouldn't disappear with the first rays of sunlight.

After a quick shower — that you two shared right after having some extra fun in there again — Ben picked you up in his arms and took you into his bedroom.

"Oh, Benji, what are we doing here?" You stared at him under your lashes and pressed your bare body closer to his chest, running your fingers slowly up to his neck.

He put you down gently and pushed your slightly damp hair over your shoulder. "Well, I certainly know what you will do." Ben smirked down at you, before leaning closer to your lips, almost kissing but keeping the distance between you two. "You're going to sleep." He nudged you towards the side of the bed, nodding you to lay down.

You sat down in bed, watching Ben's every move as he picked up some sweats from his closet. "And you? You're not coming to sleep?"

"No, I–" Your eyes met, and you felt a little hurt. The look in his eyes let you know everything you needed to know. This was just a part of his MO - putting a woman into bed while he quietly vanished from her sight. Your eyes fell into your lap.

Why did I expect anything else from him?

You cleared your throat. You tried not to let the hurt show when you looked up again. "Right. Sorry. Goodnight."

You laid down on your side, pulling the covers up under your chin. You heard a soft click from the door and the room fell completely silent and dark, and you wished you could silence the sadness and regret that was growing inside you, but those had already set their roots deep in your heart. You didn't regret helping him. You could never do that.

But allowing yourself to open up to him? Allowing your emotions to roam free after little genuine attention he gave you? Well, that was fucking stupid. You mentally rolled your eyes at yourself.

For so long had you been so touch-starved and lonely without even realizing that so maybe you had read more into the situation than it really was. Maybe you hoped for another outcome for letting your heart win over your mind. You just got attached too quickly. Because that's what happens when you don't have a healthy relationship with your own emotions - you fall head over heels for someone you probably shouldn't in less than a week. You were just too naive to think that Ben, Soldier Boy, a world-class supe, would ever look at you as anything else but a hole he can get his dick wet. You couldn't help but feel a little used. But at the same time you couldn't put the blame for this feeling on Ben - you were the one kneeling before him almost at the first chance you had tonight. So, no. Totally not his fault I'm feeling like shit.

You were contemplating whether to leave his room or not, but before coming up with a decision, you could feel your eyelids grow heavy and before you knew it, you were in deep sleep.

Some time later the bed shifted next to you, and it woke you up immediately. His head had fallen down to his chest, but hearing you waking up, Ben looked over his shoulder.

"I didn't mean to wake you." His voice was low and as much as you could make out of his silhouette in the mostly dark room, with the streetlights being the only source of light outside, Ben seemed really tense.

“No- it's.. I'm fine, Ben,” you saw Ben's shoulders fall when he let out a deep sigh. “Are you okay?” Your voice was thick with sleep as you sat up and moved to the edge of the bed next to him. “You had another nightmare, didn't you?” You snaked one arm around his, squeezing gently.

You looked at the man next to you. It must have felt strange to him to be able to be vulnerable. To be seen as who he was - a broken man. As did you before, everyone else around him saw him as just some super soldier - Vought generated war machine, ruthless and uncaring. He used fear as his weapon to keep everyone away, but you somehow managed to break through his hard shell.

“I tried so hard to keep my distance from you, but it's unbelievable how easy it is to get used to good things, isn't it?” Ben turned to you with a solemn look. “Hoping to have one night without those fucking dreams…” with a shake of his head, Ben's eyes moved away from your face back to nothingness in front of him. “..was just stupid.” he added under his breath.

“Want to talk about it? Maybe I could help?” you shot a little smile at him.

Ben looked at you for a minute, brows knitted together, as if he was seriously considering your offer. Then he stood up abruptly. “No.”

“Wait, don't-” you grabbed his arm and as soon as he turned around you let go from him quickly, almost like his touch had burned you. You suddenly felt insecure and uncertain of yourself. You felt small, again, watching him tower next to the bed, but now it made you feel...you couldn't even describe it exactly. Frail, if you really had to choose. “Please, we don't have to talk about it, but..” you whispered quietly, “..don't go.”

“Just stay.” You swallowed hard, waiting for his answer.

You could see it in his eyes. Ben didn't want to admit to himself even, but he really didn't want to be alone. He didn't want to go back to the couch, where he knew as soon as he would close his eyes, the nightmares would return.

Ben climbed into bed under the covers and you carefully watched his reaction as you slid into his arms. Slow exhale escaped him when you draped your arm over his chest.

You laid in bed for a while, trying to fall back asleep, but with no results. Comfortable silence hung around you two, and you didn't dare to say a word to break it.

Ben was surprised. He was surprised of where he was at in his life. After hearing Butcher tell Hughie he was thinking of calling you, Ben had thought you'd be like every other woman he'd met, instantly all over him. But no. He was glad that you were not like them. You didn't take any crap from him and that was like a breath of fresh air. That made him like you even more. It was hard for him to accept that at first (it still was, if he was honest), but he was happy that someone was there for him. That you were there, and helping him, even if he still thought that he deserved none of it. He wasn't going to let you go.

“It wasn't Russia this time.” Ben said so quietly, you almost didn't hear him.

“What?”

“My dream.” He added. “It wasn't about Russia this time.” You felt his chest rise heavily under you as he took deep breaths.

You sat up next to him. The last thing you wanted was Ben to feel pressured to talk. “Ben, it's okay, you don't have to—”

“You asked, didn't you?”

“Well, yeah, but I don't want to pressure you.” you retorted quickly. You stared down into his eyes. Even in the dark, the green was striking. Boy, I'm in trouble...You realized you were a goner for him. You'd do whatever you'd have to, to ease him from all that pain. And it wasn't just your empathy now. Three days, you reminded yourself, you had known him.

“You're not.” He gently pulled you back into his arms. “I dreamt of my father...about the last time I saw him..” his fingers drew slow patterns on your arms.

“What happened?”

“I had just gotten home from war. It was a real ticker-tape parade, you know, fit for a hero...considering...well, even if it was glorified to some extent, I still fought hard, contrary to popular belief.” He scoffed. “And then I went home..”

Ben kept reminiscing in silence as you laid beside him, patiently waiting for him to continue.

“I went home to see my old man and he just couldn't be more disgusted by me." Ben's lips snarled up at the mention of is father. "He had been my whole life, sending me off to boarding school to not have to deal with me or my problems. I was always just trying to do right by him, but still I was a disappointment, a fucking disgrace to him. I don't know why I ever expected anything else. That night..” He fell quiet for a second.

“That night is something I won't forget. Guess that's when the new Soldier Boy was born. Women, booze, drugs..I had it all, loved it all, and did not have a single fuck to give about my actions.”

You felt a pang of pain in your chest. Ben had just wanted for his dad to be proud, like any other young man would. Instead he got rejected from unconditional love, he should've gotten from his father. You closed your eyes and focused only on him and his steady rhythmic heartbeat under you, trying to erase the pain.

“Don't do this. Please.” He said softly. You sat up, and Ben followed your lead, propping himself up on the pillows next to you. “I know you're just trying to help, but this is something I don't want to forget in any way.”

You looked at Ben. Even in the dark room, your gaze found Ben's in an instant. You smiled a little, but it was clearly just from confusion. “But why?”

“Because that memory of my father will stay as a reminder for me of what not to become if I have children on my own one day.”

Hearing that from Ben tugged even harder on the string he had already wrapped around your heart. He didn't want to turn out like his father.

But Ben was right - some pain might be worth remembering.

“Then the Payback was formed and I met Countess. I had really thought she was the one.” He said after a little moment of silence. “That one day we'd be able to hang our masks up and get out of the public's eye, you know? Just the two of us. Have couple of kids. Never expected her to..” the emotions washing over him were clear in Ben's voice. He cleared his throat before he added heavily. “I really don't know which was worse. Being in that lab or finding out that she was the one who sent me there.”

“You really think you would've been able to retire?” You asked, being genuinely curious, before you turned yourself around, facing him and crossing your legs to get more comfortable. You felt really happy that he was trusting you enough to open up. You were glad to get to know him better. It sparked-if you even dared to think so- a little glimmer of hope in your heart.

“I think so, yeah.”

“I–” your train of thought was disrupted by the faint ringing of your alarm in your own room. Guess the night had to end at some point.

But you were not quite ready to burst that little bubble you found yourself in with Ben. And neither was he. You started to climb out of bed, not noticing the look he stared after you. Before he even realized what he was doing, Ben had pulled you back into bed. You were only able to gasp when he rolled over and locked you between the bed and himself.

“Ben, I have to–” Ben's lips sealed you in a bruising kiss before you were able to finish your sentence. With a contrasting tenderness he pulled you up a little, pushing a pillow from his side under you, elevating your upper body from the rest.

“I think we have a little bit of time to spare.” Sinful smile on his lips, Ben started to move on to your neck and lower from there, while his hands squeezed your thighs hard, and pushed them apart for him to lower his body closer to you.

“Uh-uh..I guess..we do..” You were panting hard already when he started to work on your tits with his mouth. It was a shame really how easily Ben was able to convince you. There wasn't even a smidge of resistance coming from you. Your fingers gripped the sheets tight when he nipped on your breasts, soothing the bite marks quickly with kisses and licks all over your bust. Soft moans coming from you melded with his deep groans that got trapped against your skin. Those almost made it seem like he was holding himself from devouring you whole. Ben took his time that you didn't really have even that much, licking, sucking and nibbling on your tits, tongue swirling around the nipples, each of his moves making you suddenly feel even more aroused. More wanted, and even more so purely desired.

A sharp hiss escaped you when he bit down once harder than before. No kisses followed that, letting the pain deliciously linger on your skin. You started to stare each other down, Ben sliding his gaze over your swollen lips, lowering it to your breasts adorned with his bite marks, enjoying the red pattern they had drawn on them and looking then right back up at you again. Dawn was breaking, and slowly but steadily the room started to fill with light. You let yourself drown for a moment in the deep green forest of his eyes, only dragging yourself out of them to take in his barely noticeable freckles speckled all over his cheeks and nose. He was just so unbelievably…beautiful.

No words were needed to express what was clear in both of your eyes. You grabbed onto Ben's hair, pulling him back down into a slow kiss. You gave up the control over your mouth to him, as you had already done for the rest of your body, and he didn't spare a moment of proving that you had made the only right choice. While his tongue claimed your mouth, his hands roamed over your body like discovering it for the first time, featherlight touches moving over your sternum and belly, making you ticklish and squirm under him.

Ben suddenly removed himself from your lips, shifting his complete attention now to your lower body.

Your eyes screwed shut when you felt his rough palms moving down your thighs, closer to your pussy. You bit down on your lips as his thumbs slid through your wet folds, lightly caressing your clit. Even his smallest touch there made a shockwave run through your body.

“Please…ahh..” you gasped weakly when his fingers pushed halfway in and pulled out of you quickly, only just teasing your tight cunt, making you desperately crave more of him.

“Had a little taste test of you before...still needing a bit more..” Ben lowered his mouth between your legs, keeping his eyes still on you. His hot breath against the clit made you shiver before him. “Yes.. please..” you shuddered out.

Ben didn't leave you begging for long, even if he loved hearing that. He spread your legs wider and dived in there, hungrily dragging his tongue over your sex, making your hips buck up under him when he brushed over your swollen bud. Even though he had his first taste of you only a few hours ago, Ben had quickly started to miss it. The sweetness and slight tartness of your juices covering his tongue had become as addicting to Ben as he knew his touch was for you.

Continuing with the teasingly slow strokes with his tongue, he was getting more amused seeing how his every move made your hips jerk more sharply, making you forcefully press your cunt up into his face, but he wasn't gonna complain about that. No, he was going to take you like a man he was, ready to suffocate between your thighs, if it would've been possible for him.

Small whimpers of delight rolled off your lips when his sole attention fell to your clit, swirling his tongue around it, sucking, slightly grazing it with his teeth. All it would've taken from you to come was just a few more strokes from him, but Ben didn't give you that. Instead he pulled away at the last moment, green eyes drilling darkly up into yours, daring you to say anything in protest. You wanted to give him a piece of your mind, to tell him how his teasing really made you feel, but your tongue was tied and your mind had gone completely blank. Ben just laughed at the desperate sight of you.

You were gasping for air when Ben brushed his finger over your bud and then moved his hand up to massage your tits, leaving your pussy without attention for a minute.

“Ben, please…”

He silenced you with another hard kiss, leaving you breathless when he started to leave a trail of kisses down your body, moving again downward. His beard was tickling your skin with a playful lightness as his mouth moved over your hip bones and forward to your thighs. Your hands dug into the bed with all your might, holding on tight just as you felt Ben's breath dangerously close your pussy.

You needed him to hurry. Not only because you had no idea how much longer you'd be able to take it, but Ben was taking it really, really slow. Which you actually didn't mind, not at all, but if he kept up going at this speed, he'd probably make you late for work. But you knew that it would be fine by him.

“Ben, I'll be late for–” the end of your sentence turned into a high mewl after having Ben suddenly sucking on your clit again.

“Mmmm....” your body arched up, unable to decide whether to try to push him away or to pull him even closer. Who were you kidding - in no way you were going to push him away. In an instant your hand released the sheet beneath you, finding its way into Ben's thick brown hair, tugging on it hard. “Please, Ben.. I got to go..”

Ben let out a low growl before pulling away from you, locking his hand around both of your wrists. His beard was glistening with your arousal in the morning sunshine starting to light up the room little by little. “You can't really make up your mind, can you? You say one thing, but your body on the other hand…”

You stared at him slowly coming to hover over you. Ben’s hands kept you in place while his eyes ran over you, taking in the little beads of sweat on your skin.

“After all, getting your pussy eaten out by Soldier Boy is a pretty valid reason to be late for work, don't you think?” he smirked down at you.

Your breath hitched with realization that he probably wasn't going to hurry up.

“So let me ask you again, sweetheart.” He lowered his face to yours, lips teasing you softly. “Do you want to go to work or do you want to feel good?”

“Good. I want to feel good, Ben.” words rushed out of you and quickly you pressed your lips to his. He released your hands and softly caressed your cheek, moving them down to knead your breasts, eliciting a deep moan from you. Not stopping on your chest for long, he moved on to between your legs, sinking two fingers into you.

Ben pulled away from the kiss. “Right answer, darling.” He whispered and started pumping in you vigorously. Your head fell into the pillows beneath you, mouth opening to let out a soundless scream.

Your body withered in pleasure, feeling his fingers curling inside you, bringing you quickly to the point of almost snapping.

“Yes..yes..oh, Ben…NO!” You suddenly cried out when Ben again decided to pull away from you, without letting you cum. “Ben, please..” you wheezed out, looking pleadingly at him, hoping to make him feel sorry for you, but clearly getting you more desperate was for his enjoyment all alone. Ben sat back on the bed, eyes running over your weak body laying before him.

“Hmm..love hearing you beg for me.” He said softly before forcing his voice stern again. “Do it more.”

You clenched, hearing the sudden change of his tone, but if begging is what he wants, then this is what he gets.

You swallowed hard, then widened your eyes a little and bit down on your lip with a moan. “Mm…please, Ben…I–”

You sucked in a quick breath, eyes shuttering close and thought of what exactly you wanted from him. “I want your hand..no- fuck..” You remembered the feeling of his tongue on you. Licking and teasing you. Sucking and swirling. You moaned loudly at the thought of him eating you until you almost came. But that thought was quickly replaced by the sensation of remembering his fingers pumping in and out of you, making you squirm in front of him. Both memories were equally sweet and pleasurable, driving you to the point of nearly losing your sanity.

“I just want to cum, Ben.” You sighed, propping yourself onto your elbows. “I need to. You've teased me too much already.” You added with a shuddering breath, looking at him under lashes. “Please. I need your fingers inside me.”

Ben approached you slowly like a predator, lips curling into a sinful smile, hand sliding up your leg.

“Please..I–” you swallowed hard when Ben squeezed your thigh. “Stop…please..ughhhh…” your pained expression was amusing for Ben. He had no intention of stopping teasing you. Or pleasing you. He let his hands roam all over your body, loving the way you bit your swollen lips as his thumb brushed tenderly over your pussy. He wanted to feel you clenching down on him just as much as you needed it, but seeing you squirm and begging for him to finger you, made it worth waiting for just a little longer.

“Please, please, please…ohh…oh!” Your whines got louder when he decidedly started to speedily rub your clit.

Words choked in your throat, hushed moans were only what managed to slip through.

“You like that, huh?” Wicked smile came onto Ben's lips as you were white-knuckling the bedsheets, trying to get anything out to answer him. You nodded, head pressed into the pillows, turning to look into his eyes.

“I-yes..but.. ahhh…” you gasped loudly when he shoved two fingers roughly into you. Ben gave you no chance to catch a breath and almost instantly you could feel yourself closing in on climax again.

“You're so pretty when you're about to cum.” He said huskily, watching you arch your back high in pleasure.

“You are close, aren't you?” Again Ben laughed at you shortly, when you couldn't force out words, but only nodded your head frantically.

“I think I'll let you cum now. Look at me. You ready, darlin’?” He asked with a grin on his face.

“Yes.. please.. please, Ben..” Your legs started trembling from delight.

“Cum on fingers, Y/N.”

After hearing his permission, your shaking legs clamped together on his hand that was still plunging into you hard while the rest of your body froze up.

Orgasm rolled over you in long intense waves, numbing you wholly inch by inch, silencing you completely.

Ben gritted his teeth slightly when your body loosened again, letting him pull his hand away from you. He got up from the bed, leaving the room for a second. When he returned, he held a warm cloth in his hand to clean you up. On his way back to bed, he grabbed one of his shirts for you as well.

You still laid down as he quickly got you cleaned. You sat up weakly and Ben pulled his shirt over your head.

“Wow.. you look like you need some sleep.” He laughed lightly.

“It's all your fault.” You didn't let go of a chance of retaliation.

“Did you not say you wanted to feel good?” Ben knowingly cocked an eyebrow. “Thought so.” He added with a grin, when he didn't get an answer from you.

He stood up from the bed, pulling you with him. “Let's get you a quick coffee.”

“Ugh..yes, please.” You groaned tiredly.

When you started to walk towards the kitchen, the slight wobble in your legs didn't go unnoticed by Ben.

“I must've rocked your world.” He joked behind you.

“Psshh..keep telling yourself that.”

“Well, I don't have to. I can see it.”

You only rolled your eyes at that and didn't say a word.

While Ben made you coffee, you went and got dressed, mentally preparing yourself for getting through the day.

You barely made it. Not a minute passed without thinking of him. You couldn't stop counting second to the end of the work day. For the whole day you were unable to focus on work, not knowing what to do or how to be. Today you didn't stay there even a minute longer than you had to. And when you got home again, Ben was sitting on the couch, accompanied by a glass of whiskey. Just where he was when you left for work in the morning. Only with a minor difference - the bottle he had in the morning had gotten itself a friend.

“Busy day, huh?” You joked as you kicked off your heels and climbed next to him, tugging your legs under your body.

“Hey! Look around!” Ben remarked, seemingly offended. “I cleaned.”

You turned and looked around in the kitchen and the rest of the apartment. “Wow! You did!” Looking back at Ben you couldn't help but grin. “You want a cookie now?”

“Oh, I'll get my cookie, you'll see!” Ben smirked and your smile was quickly replaced with a yelp, when he suddenly lifted you onto his lap, pushing your skirt further up with his wandering hands that once again found their way between your legs. “I thought I fucked the sass out of you. Clearly not.” His hungry lips landed on your neck, sucking on the pulse point and you balanced yourself holding onto his shoulder, unable to keep yourself from moaning softly. You started to melt under his touch and warm breath lingering on your skin, bringing back the memories from the morning. Feeling Ben's kisses move down to the open collar of your blouse, your fingers raked through his soft hair, tugging hard and making him groan in the crook of your neck.

“Ughh…I'm still sore from this morning, Ben.” You gasped as his fingers slipped past your underwear, stroking you gently.

“Yeah?” He asked softly against your skin. “So you don't want me to do this?” Ben pulled away from your face to catch your eyes as he pushed his middle finger slowly into you, curling it up. You bit down in your lip with a soft moan. “Oh, well, I do love that, Soldier Boy.” You let his moniker roll off your tongue sensually slowly, causing his other hand, that wasn't exploring you from the inside, to squeeze down on your hip roughly.

Suddenly your head snapped around, hearing a cough behind you. “At least you didn't burn the place down.” Billy grinned at you, being held by Ben in your compromised position. Hughie appeared on the door shortly after, quickly averting his eyes from the two of you.

Now, while your only ability was healing, Ben on the other hand had no excuses for not hearing them come home. He just didn't care about getting caught. “You heard them coming, didn't you?” You hissed at Ben, trying to get off his lap, but he wasn't going to let you go, holding you strongly with his hands on your hips.

“Who cares? Let them have a show.” He chuckled and moved in again to plant ticklish kisses on your neck.

“Oh, have some sympathy, Ben. We're gonna keep them up all night anyway. Let them have a moment of quiet before that.” You winked at Ben and lifted yourself off his lap, sinking down into the couch next to him. “You said you're going to be away for a week or longer. How come you're home early?”

“No, luv’. I asked you to be here for a week. You,” Butcher turned to Hughie. “Pay up.”

“I really didn't expect that from you, Y/N. I was so sure I'll be earning easy money.” He said with a feigned disappointment, pulling out some crumpled up bills from his pockets to hand over to Butcher.

“You had a bet on me?” You asked, a surprised laughter shaking your body.

“Of course! So..” Billy grinned, looking between you and Ben. “I guess, I'll be getting myself a bedroom tonight, right?”

You and Ben shared a look and a secretive smile between each other. “Sure..” you started slowly, before Ben cut in. “But don't count on getting any sleep.”

Taglist: @cevansbaby-dove @nescaveckwriter @jackles010378 @deanwinchestersgirl87 @winchesterwild78 @anundyingfidelity @suckitands33 @waynes-multiverse

Fun little fact: I described Ben's eyes as ekanite green, which I found as a closest match to Jensen's eyes through a HEX code comparison AND it's a rare gem, that can also be radioactive, just as our lovely Soldier Boy 💚

Thank you for reading! Feedback is appreciated!🤍

#soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x you #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy/ben #the boys #the boys fanfic #soldier boy smut #smut #jensen ackles

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cheynovak · 1 month

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A Night to Remember - Series

Jensen Ackles Fanfiction

My masterlist is getting too long... So, I decided to make a new lists for my series.

* = implied smut or sexual tension

**= 18+/smut

Amidst shared drinks and laughter, a connection unfolds, a casual conversation turns into a flirty and risky moment between Jensen and Y/N. How will their drunk alter egos cope?

But most importantly, how will they handle the new unlocked desires and consequences.

A night to remember *

A night to remember Part 2 -> In the spotlight *

A night to remember Part 3 -> Dangerous game *

A night to remember Part 4 -> Breaking hearts *

A night to remember Part 5 -> Pushing boundaries *

A night to remember Part 6 -> Ready, Set... go

A night to remember Part 7 -> Whispers in the night **

A night to remember Part 8 -> Sunshine and shadows

A night to remember Part 9 -> Home sweet home?

A night to remember Part 10 -> The final scene

#fanfic #jensen ackles #x reader #fluff #jensen fucking ackles #soldier boy #the boys #jensenedit #jensen ackles soldier boy #ben x reader #romance #dean winchester #18+ content

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strawlessandbraless · 3 months

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Thinking about this for no particular reason

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zepskies · 2 months

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Calculated Risks

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader

Summary: You and Ben argue about your commitment to being a working mom. When a rogue supe gets loose at Supe Affairs, mayhem ensues, putting not only your life at risk, but your daughter’s as well.

AN: Welcome back to the BMD-verse, friends! Did you miss these two as much as I did? Plus, get ready for a heavy dose of fan-favorite Frank. (And Lila, of course!)

Word Count: 7K

Tags/Warnings: Familiar bickering, a mission gone awry, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff.

Catch up on the BMD-verse. ⤵️

💚 Break Me Down Masterlist

In four years of marriage, one thing that had never changed between you and Ben was this.

“All right, you’re being a little too much right now,” you said in irritation. “Of course I’m not sitting this one out. I’m the one who found us the damn lead in the first place.”

The man was following you from the adjoining bathroom and back into your shared bedroom, where you began getting dressed for work in the blouse and pencil skirt you’d laid out for yourself.

Your husband had already donned his supe suit, sans helmet. He stood just behind you with his arms crossed, a familiar surly frown on his face. When you turned around, he hadn’t moved an inch.

“I’m being too much? You’re the one who’s not being fucking reasonable,” he said.

You rolled your eyes and moved past him to find your shoes. For this skirt, you really needed heels. Your most comfortable black pumps would do. You grabbed the closet doorknob for balance as you slipped them on, giving him a look of exasperation.

Ben held firm on his stance, but inside, he had a feeling you’d chosen this outfit on purpose. You knew he liked this whole sexcretary look on you, with your hair let down around your shoulders. The skirt and heels just brought his eyes to the delectable curve of your ass.

But again, he was holding firm.

He’d been called in on this case partly because Annie was on maternity leave. She was due in just a few weeks. Which meant “Soldier Boy” was definitely needed to help out Butcher and his merry band of assholes. By now, Ben had gotten used to them.

“Look,” you said, “Slingshot has been causing a lot of havoc, and the police haven’t been able to catch him. You heard Grace. This is an ‘all hands on deck’ situation.”

“She always says that shit. Doesn’t make it true,” Ben retorted.

“This time it is,” you said. “I’ve already put in tons of man hours on surveillance for this guy. I want to get him off the street.”

Ben held you by your arms. “That’s exactly my point. You’ve been putting in way too many hours.”

You shook your head. He just didn’t get it.

“If I hadn’t, we wouldn’t have this opening now,” you said. You gave him a smile to try and lighten him. “Now he’s all teed up for you and the guys. This should be in and out. Practically a milk run for you.”

“Yeah, but not for you,” he pointed out. “And not for Lila. You’re stretching yourself too damn thin. It’s not like we need the money.”

Ahh, now we get to it, you thought. Yet again, he was bringing this up. In his mind, you should’ve cut your hours at Supe Affairs after Lila was born.

You did take an extended maternity leave of an entire year and a half, which was much more than women usually got from their jobs. However, because of your relationship with Grace and the entire team, you’d been allowed to come back whenever you felt ready.

Ben had often felt it necessary to point out that with his money, you didn’t have to work at all.

He knew very well that for you, this work was more than a job.

“I’m not the first working mom in existence, Ben,” you said, pushing out of his hold. “And I’ll remind you that Supe Affairs has a great daycare program. Lila’s very happy there.”

Plus, she was almost three and a half years old. In less than a year, Lila would be off to preschool.

“And look, it’s not about the money,” you added. “I told you before Lila was born. I am a mother, and I’m your wife. But I’m still me.”

Ben processed that for a moment, meeting your gaze.

“The situation’s changed,” he replied. He grasped your hips this time. His thumb gently brushed over your belly, which had a small bump under your high-waisted skirt.

You were finally pregnant again. Three months, in fact, and you were having a boy. You knew that Ben had several reasons to be more protective than usual…but still. You thought you were already taking every precaution to keep you and your children safe, even with the occasionally extensive hours of your job.

“These cases can be long and difficult, not to mention dangerous,” said Ben. His green eyes met yours as he looked down at you through furrowed brows. “You’re putting yourself at risk.”

You blew out a breath and tried to placate him, soothing a hand over his chest.

“I’ve stopped doing field missions,” you pointed out. “And Supe Affairs is the most secure building in the city. Do you think I would bring Lila there if it wasn’t?”

The security team at the S.A. was bar none, not only because Loco was a part of that team. Frank was also your personal bodyguard; Ben hired him back when you found out you were pregnant with Lila.

In fact, Frank was coming to the house in a few minutes to pick you all up.

Ben frowned. “I think you’re being stubborn just to be fucking stubborn.”

That sparked at your temper. Again, you withdrew from his arms and crossed yours.

“I think you need to face the fact that I’m protected as well as I can be,” you said. “I also think that you’re trying to use this as a way to shoehorn me into some antiquated idea of what you still think a wife should be. I’m gonna tell you right now. That’s not me! It’s never been me. And you know that.”

He opened his mouth to give an angry retort, but you beat him to it.

“It’s like you don’t even care about what I want,” you snapped. “Just what you think is right—for me to be here waiting for you to come home, quite literally barefoot and pregnant, ready to rub your balls!”

Cliché as it might’ve been to say, if the shoe fit, then you were certainly not going to be the one to wear it.

“You know what, you can accuse me of being stuck in the fucking past all you want,” Ben said, raising a finger, as well as his voice. “But the problem here isn’t me. It’s that what you want is goddamn idiotic!”

Your mouth fell agape. “Excuse me?! I can’t even believe you right now!”

Ben fairly loomed above you when he shouted back.

“Well, that makes fucking two of us!”

His voice was loud enough to reverberate on the walls. You even flinched, but you held your ground with a glare…

Until you heard a whimper.

You and Ben paused, and turned to find Lila. The three-year-old was cowering a bit in the doorway to your bedroom. Her eyes welled up with tears, and she began to cry.

Your heart broke.

“Oh, honey,” you breathed. You were both apologetic and mortified as you quickly went to her.

Ben was close behind you, but while Lila was quick to melt into your arms when you picked her up, she shied away from his attempt to reach out to her. What would’ve been a placating hand on her head, turned into him pausing in surprise when she ducked.

“Lila?” he prodded.

He tried to mask how put out he was by his daughter hiding her face from him, burrowing into your neck instead. She was usually a daddy’s girl, through and through.

You shot him a knowing frown, while rubbing her back in comfort.

“It’s okay, baby,” you told her. “Your dad and I were just…talking. He didn’t mean to shout.”

When Lila only whimpered in response, Ben’s gaze dimmed in understanding. His lips pursed.

You saw that look on his face, and you wanted to sigh. Part of you felt bad for him, at the way Lila had flinched away from her father. In a way though, maybe it was a lesson he needed to learn.

Frank arrived a few minutes later in a black SUV, like he did every weekday morning to bring you all to work. Ben was quiet and taciturn climbing into the backseat on one side, and you clipped Lila into her car seat from the other side. He still made sure that she was strapped in correctly, and even tried to earn his daughter’s gaze.

She snuck a glance at him a couple of times, but quickly lowered it to play with one of her favorite stuffed animal toys (a little German shepherd that he had gotten for her).

Ben let out a long breath through his nose. He gave Frank a nod through the rearview mirror, and the other man peeled away from the house.

The four of you rode in silence away from your house in Scarsdale, towards New York City.

Ben’s mood remained grim, even when you all got to Supe Affairs. Frank held back while you and Ben stopped in the hallway with Lila. You were carrying her, and she was holding onto you and her stuffed animal like a lifeline instead of looking anywhere else—namely at Ben.

You sighed and tried to pull her back enough to see her face.

“Daddy’s gotta go to work now. Want to say goodbye?” you encouraged.

All Lila could manage was a shy look in his direction. Ben laid a gentle hand on her head, over her dark hair.

“Bye, sweetheart,” he said.

Lila didn’t answer him. She just bit her lip and stayed withdrawn.

You and Ben shared a glance. He was hiding it well behind his usual stoicism, but this was hurting him. There wasn’t much either of you could do about it now, however. You both had work to do, and the mission would have to come first.

“I’ll be online in a bit,” you told him.

First, you needed to take Lila up to daycare before Frank accompanied you to your office. There you’d be able to join the mission from your computer and put your headset on. Aside from surveillance, you were their virtual eyes on missions.

So Ben tacitly agreed, and the two of you parted ways.

You went up to the second floor to drop Lila off at daycare, where you set her onto her feet. You could see that she was quiet and almost sad, not as bright and talkative as usual. And she was clinging to your hand. You bent down the best you could in your skirt, so you could meet her eyes.

“Are you still upset with your dad?” you asked.

After a moment, Lila replied, “Daddy’s loud.”

You couldn’t help a rueful smile.

“Yeah, he can be,” you nodded. “But he’s gonna work on that, okay? He loves you very much.”

She finally smiled a little when you pressed a few sweet kisses to her cheeks. You felt a little better about leaving her with Sarah, the woman who ran the daycare center. She was kind, but well-organized, and good at her job of wrangling fifteen or so toddlers on a daily basis.

And she was hovering off to the side with a smile, waiting to shepherd Lila over to where the rest of the group were starting at the arts and crafts table.

“Okay, baby. I love you. I’m just downstairs if you need me,” you said, caressing Lila’s cheeks, brushing her hair away from her face.

She nodded and waved goodbye. Sarah then stepped in and guided the girl over to the crafts table. The other kids were already drawing and coloring with crayons and markers.

With a sigh, you knew you had to get to work. You joined Frank out in the hall.

“Did something happen this morning?” he asked. You gave him a weary look.

“Something always happens. I’ll fill you in when we hit the elevator,” you said.

“Kids are resilient. She’ll bounce back,” said Frank, when you two got off the elevator down to the basement, under the first floor. This was where the “heavy stuff” happened at the S.A.

“That’s not the point, Frank. He hasn’t snapped at me like that in a long time, and he really scared her. That’s not fucking okay,” you said. “He needs to learn to control his goddamn temper.”

He sent you a knowing glance. You rolled your eyes.

“Okay, I know I don’t always help. But in this case, I was justified,” you said. “Ben was being an ass.”

“Right,” Frank nodded. “It’s not at all that he’s worried about you.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Whose side are you on?”

The man remained silent, but his stoic face wasn’t fooling you. He’d been your friend for much too long, and he knew Ben just as well…which was why you found yourself reconsidering what happened this morning.

“You really think he has a point?” you asked. “Am I working too much?”

Frank shook his head and opened the door for you into the Surveillance Department. The two of you ventured to your office, where your quadruple monitor setup was waiting for you. He also had a desk for himself, since he often spent the long hours of your day with you.

“When you were pregnant with Lila, you were on maternity leave by now,” he pointed out.

“Because we had no idea what was going to happen,” you countered. You went to your desk and started up your computer. “I had to meet with Tonya once a week, ultrasounds and blood tests all the time, making sure Lila was healthy, that I was healthy. This time around, we have a better idea of what to expect.”

For example, you were experiencing bouts of super strength once again, but it was still intermittent. Although, you pretty much never needed coffee. Maybe the supe genes coursing through your system, thanks to your unborn son, was part of the reason why you’d been able to go such long hours for these cases.

He's already brightening up my life, you thought with a little smile, holding a hand over your lower belly.

“It’s your choice,” Frank said at last. “But it is possible that Ben cares about more than just making you a suburban housewife.”

At that, you sighed. There was nothing wrong with being a housewife, you knew. It just wasn’t…you.

Once your computer and monitors were booted up, you connected to the right channels and put on your headset.

Already you could hear M.M. bitching about keeping the weapons trunk organized, not just tossing things in haphazardly.

“It’s a simple fucking system, Frenchie. You can at least abide by it,” M.M. said. “We don’t have time to be scratching our asses while you try to find a—”

“Hey, Bert and Ernie. Would you shut the fuck up already?” Ben groused.

Your mouth twitched at his grumpiness.

“A little testy this morning, ey guv?” Butcher remarked.

“Gargle my ball sack,” Ben replied, with an even grouchier deadpan than usual.

“Do you kiss your child with that mouth?” Frenchie teased.

“Nah, just your mother’s French hole,” Ben slung back. You rolled your eyes.

“All right, all right. Put the measuring tapes away,” you interrupted. “I’m online, locked on your GPS.”

“Well, if it ain’t Mrs. America herself,” Butcher drawled. “Got a lock on Slingshot’s location for us?”

“You know it,” you replied. “Sending to the group chat now. Slingshot’s been spotted entering a strip club in Chinatown.”

“Jeez. A little early for tits and booze. It’s 10:00 a.m. on a Tuesday,” said Hughie.

You heard Ben huff in amusement. “It’s never too early.”

You snorted at that.

“Right. I’ll remember that next time you fall asleep watching Family Feud,” you clipped back.

You heard the other guys trying not to laugh as they got into Butcher’s van. Part of you felt bad for teasing Ben, knowing he was already in a bad mood, but you were feeling a bit petty about what happened this morning.

You had to bite your lip against a smile, as you could picture the ill-tempered face your man was likely sporting.

And we’re off.

Lila wasn’t having a good day.

She didn’t feel like coloring, and the toys just weren’t fun today.

She just didn’t want to be here. The other kids smelled like old Cheetos and feet (especially the boys).

She missed you. And though she hadn’t wanted to admit it to you, she missed Daddy too.

Lila wanted to go home…she wanted her mom.

“I’m just downstairs if you need me,” you’d said.

Lila had a kind of plan percolating in her mind, all through the morning, and even through lunch time. She didn’t want to get in trouble, but when she’d asked Miss Sarah if she could go see you, she’d said you were at work and couldn’t come get Lila until later.

But that’s not what Mommy said, Lila thought.

After lunch, she laid on the napping mat with her pillow and blanket, even though she was wide awake. She didn’t want to nap with the other kids, even though Miss Sarah told her it was time to sleep.

Again, Lila didn’t want to be bad. She didn’t want to get in trouble either, but she really, really just wanted to see you.

And you’d said it was okay to go downstairs if she needed you, right?

Lila closed her eyes while Miss Sarah was looking, but she waited until the teacher went into her office to answer a call. Then, Lila carefully put Charlie, her stuffed dog, against her pillow, tucking the blanket up to his neck.

She crawled off her mat and snuck over to the door while Miss Sarah was distracted on her phone. Lila reached up and was just tall enough to twist the doorknob. It led her out of the room, and out into the empty hall. She then looked both ways for a clue on where to go.

She heard a ding, and looked over at a nearby pair of elevators.

The mission went more or less according to plan. Slingshot’s abilities allowed him to stretch every part of his body like elastic. It not only made him hard to catch, but even harder to maim without collateral damage.

A whole block in Chinatown was wrecked in the takedown, but your idea of ripping the cables from a nearby utility pole to electrocute him let Ben finally subdue the elastic supe. Kimiko knocked him out, and Butcher slapped some tight-ass cuffs on him and dragged him into the van. They returned with the rogue supe in custody.

You were mentally exhausted from helping them track down routes to pin down Slingshot, but you were relieved to be done. You were also satisfied that another danger to society was neutralized, for now.

You took pride in your work, and you didn’t think Ben saw that, or thought it was important. You supposed that was what upset you the most about that fight with him.

Sometimes, you wondered if he would ever truly change.

You grabbed your purse and made sure to slip in your gun and taser. You left your office and greeted Frank, who had just finished making his rounds in the building with Loco’s team. Frank joined you on the way to the elevator.

“I meant to ask you, how’s Alana doing?” you asked. Alana was his daughter, who was now in college.

“She’s changed her major yet again,” he said wryly. “This time to philosophy.”

“Philosophy? That’s interesting. What does she want to do with that?” you asked.

“No fucking clue,” he replied, hitting the button for the first floor. “I just hope she gets bored and picks something practical. Like…teaching, or dentistry.”

You shot him a bemused look. “Dentistry?”

“As much money as I put into that girl’s braces, it’d be good for her to pay it forward,” Frank said, in a surly tone that reminded you of Ben. You had to laugh.

You and Frank exited the elevator and started down the hall.

You planned to touch base with Grace Mallory on the safety measures of Slingshot’s containment before he was put into custody. The idea was to house him in a prison cell that could actually hold him until he went through the legal process.

But you’d only gotten halfway down the hall before the supe in question literally stretched past you on unnaturally long legs—in a blur of his white and blue supe suit. Your eyes widened on a gasp as you watched him head toward the elevator you’d just come off of.

“Fuckin’ hell, we’ve got a runner!” Butcher shouted from down the hall. He along with Ben, M.M., Frenchie, Hughie, and Kimiko were rushing your way.

It all happened so fast.

You registered Frank shooting out a protective arm in front of you. You turned back to see the elevator doors had opened back up, and Slingshot rushed inside. He made eye contact with you.

Then his arms shot out like rubber bands. One of them knocked Frank into the far wall. You gasped and froze on reflex.

Ben shouted your name; he was running towards you, getting closer. You were able to meet his wide eyes for a brief moment. He reached out for you, but those stretching arms closed around you first. You gasped when they slung you backwards.

You cried out in shock when your back met a surprisingly solid chest.

Meanwhile, Ben barreled the rest of the way down the hall as the elevators closed just short of his angrily furrowed face.

The stretched arms holding you were tight around your torso, making your grit your teeth as you tried to pull away. They twisted you around so you could face your captor. Or so he could see you.

His natural height was around Butcher’s—dark hair, blue eyes, angular features. He gave you what was probably meant to be a suave smile as those baby blues dragged down your body.

“Hey, baby. Nice heels,” he said. You rolled your eyes.

“So that’s why they call you Slingshot,” you said, still a bit breathless. The elevator started to move. He’d chosen the top floor. “Where do you think you’re gonna go?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” he snarked. “Anywhere but here. And you’re gonna help me.”

“How? Being a human shield?”

“For a start,” he smirked down at you. He backed up a step just to take another proper look at you, and he whistled lowly. He took your chin between his sweaty fingers, making you grimace when he stroked your cheek.

“Down boy,” you said warily. “Trust me, you really don’t want to do this.”

This jackass hadn’t even realized you had a small, but noticeable baby bump.

“Why not, babe?” he grinned. “You’ve got the whole sexy librarian thing going on.”

You heard a loud creaking sound outside the elevator doors. The compartment itself came to an abrupt stop, making the lights flicker.

“What the fuck?” Slingshot muttered. His hold around you loosened.

You had an idea of what just happened, with grim satisfaction. You also took advantage of his distraction and managed to slip a hand into your purse.

You pulled out your taser. Slingshot noticed and tried to grab you again, but the elevator somehow started to move in reverse, about a foot a time. It made both of you lose your balance and utter sounds of surprise.

As soon as you regained your footing, you aimed the taser at the most sensitive place you could think of—the supe’s dick and balls.

His howls of pain were loud enough to reach Ben, Frank, and the rest of the team on the third floor. Ben’s face became edged with a smirk.

He kept pulling the elevator cables down until the compartment’s doors were in reach. There he grabbed the doors and pulled them open with his bare hands, crunching metal under his fingers. The moment he saw you, the relief in your eyes, he grabbed your hand and pulled you out, into his arms.

Slingshot was angry, though he managed to recover, rip off the taser’s metal prongs and wires, and evade Kimiko, M.M., and even Butcher when he slithered his way out of the elevator and around their guns. The bullets ricocheted off the walls, and off his body as they followed him down the hall.

Ben focused on you. He brushed his half-gloved hands over your shoulders and sides while he quickly looked you over. There was worry in his eyes, disguised as anger. You caught your breath and held a protective hand over your lower belly out of reflex.

“You okay?” he said, but you were already nodding before he asked.

“I’m fine,” you replied. “Just get him. I’ll get Lila.”

Ben nodded. He shot one last firm look at Frank, who was back at your side. Frank laid a hand on your shoulder as Ben took off down the hall to find Slingshot.

“The stairs are safer at this point,” Frank said.

“I would have to agree,” you said, steeling yourself with a breath.

While you and Frank went downstairs to the second floor, you didn’t see the second elevator ding, its doors opening to your daughter, who ambled out alone. She looked one way down the hall, but hearing her father’s voice carrying down the opposite way, she started venturing in that direction.

If she couldn’t find you, then she’d find her dad.

“What the hell do you mean you lost her?” you shouted at Sarah, the woman who was supposed to be looking after your daughter. “How do you lose a three-year-old at nap time? What kind of incompetent fuck are you?”

Yes, Ben had unfortunately rubbed off on you.

Sarah was in tears by the time you were not even halfway done, but Frank calmed you down with another touch to your shoulder. You had tears of panic stinging in your eyes when you met his gaze, your mouth trembling.

“I just radioed in and put Loco and the rest of the security team on looking for Lila. She can’t have gotten far,” he said.

“Come on! Keep up with me, old man,” Slingshot taunted at Ben. His super flexibility allowed him to keep several steps ahead, dodging any attempts to grab him and any weapons fired with easy dips and playful deflection.

“When I get my hands on you, you flaccid fuck, you won’t know your ass from your ball sack,” Ben growled.

But he crashed into the wall when he took a corner too hard trying to tackle the other supe. He picked himself up from the debris of crumbled wall and plaster, ignoring Kimiko’s offer of a helping hand.

“Big fucking talk from the walking AARP commercial,” Slingshot snorted. He turned around and once again prepared to run. “Try not to shatter a hip, asshole!”

He took off down another bend in the hallway. Meanwhile, Ben shook himself off and joined the others in running after this cocksucker. Ben looked over at Butcher.

“What’s your fucking plan?” he grated out.

Butcher seemed to have an idea growing in his mind. “What’d she do to him in that elevator?”

“Tased his dick, by the sound of it,” Ben replied. He knew what weapons you kept in your purse, and that you'd know better than to fire a gun in an enclosed elevator. Butcher snapped his fingers.

“Electricity. Bloody brilliant,” he said. He pointed at Hughie and grabbed Frenchie by the collar. “You, with me. I’ve got an idea. The rest of ya, get him pinned down.”

“Easier said than done, motherfucker,” M.M. grumbled. But he followed Ben and Kimiko to find their errant supe.

Slingshot played a cocky game, but inside, there was fear.

They’d caught him once, and now, this building was crawling with security, let alone the assholes chasing him.

He was panting for breath when he nearly ran straight into…a kid?

She was wandering around, trying to open a locked door. He skidded to a stop in front of her, and she looked up at him wide-eyed. He tilted his head. She was a cute little thing with brown hair and green eyes. She wore a blouse with cartoon ducks on it over her jeans and sunshine-yellow shoes.

“Hey, cutie. Where you going?” asked Slingshot. “Are you lost?”

“Looking for my mom,” she answered, a bit timidly. The supe gave her an easy smile; inside, he knew he’d just found his collateral, and his ticket out of here.

“Okay. What’s your name?” he asked.

“L…Lila,” she said.

“Pretty name for a pretty girl,” he said, with all due charm. He struck a pose, with his fists held up to his waist. “I can help you, Lila. I’m a superhero.”

Her eyes widened. “Really? Like Daddy?”

“Oh, yeah. Your dad and I are friends.” Never mind that he had no fucking clue who her daddy was. He offered her his hand.

Now, Lila knew not to talk to strangers, but if he knew her dad…

After a moment of reluctant indecision, she took his hand. Slingshot tapered a smirk into a more friendly smile.

“Let’s go find him.”

Ben was ahead of the pack, but he soon came to an abrupt stop with wider eyes. He finally found Slingshot, except he had Ben’s daughter by the hand. Slingshot wore a cocky grin as he took the child up into his arms.

“Hey, guys. Who’s this little peanut belong to?” he asked. “Said she was looking for her daddy.”

Ben’s breath turned to lead in his lungs. Lila’s eyes lit up with recognition when she saw him.

“Daddy!”

Ben’s softer gaze shifted from her, hardening once it reached the other supe.

“Let her go,” he growled lowly.

Slingshot’s grin deepened incredulously as he laughed.

“Oh shit, she’s yours?” he exclaimed. “This’s just too fucking perfect.”

“Lila!” your shout came from behind Ben, and you stepped around M.M. and Kimiko.

Ben held out a hand to keep you at bay. He kept his eyes on Slingshot, but Ben heard your gasp. His stomach dipped, knowing your worry had to be reaching new heights as you took in the situation.

“Ben,” you uttered.

“I’ve got this,” he said to you.

“You don’t got shit, old man,” Slingshot snapped. He shot you a smirk next. “She’s your bitch? Figures.”

“Just let her go,” you implored. You had tears brimming in your eyes. “We can negotiate your release if you promise to be more responsible.”

Ben shot you a glance then. He didn’t intend for this fucker to live, let alone walk the streets of New York again. But he supposed any bluff was worth it at this point.

Meanwhile, seeing the distress on her parents’ faces made Lila begin to break down into tears. She whined, pushing against the supe holding her, wanting to be let go.

“It’s okay, sweetie,” Slingshot cooed. “You’re just gonna take a little trip with me.”

“No!” a ragged shout tore from your throat when he took a few backward steps down the hall.

Ben held you back from following him, all while he tensed with rage. M.M. and Kimiko were also poised to try and stop the supe. But Slingshot tightened his hold on Lila in warning.

“Back the fuck off,” he demanded. “Once I get to JFK and get my ass on a plane, maybe, maybe you see your daughter aga—”

He had to stop short, as he sensed something just outside of his peripheral vision.

It was Butcher, coming at him to swing a baseball bat at the supe’s head.

You screamed in protest, but Butcher was relying on the supe’s reflexes to dodge the bat. He wasn’t disappointed. Slingshot dodged. Though in his distraction, it gave Ben the opening he needed to step into his orbit and land a solid punch across Slingshot’s face.

It not only cracked his jaw, but also caught him off guard enough for his grip on the child to loosen. Ben grabbed his daughter and turned her away in a protective embrace.

Then Frenchie brought Slingshot down with the prongs of a massive taser clipping onto his nipples. He jolted and screamed—and went down hard on the tile floor.

While Hughie and M.M. ushered in the rest of the security team to swarm in and take the supe into custody, you raced forward to Ben and Lila in tears.

Lila was also crying and clinging to Ben’s neck, shaking like a leaf.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ve got you,” he said quietly, so only she could hear. Lila whimpered and burrowed tighter against his neck.

Tears streamed down your face, but you tried to breathe through it. You rubbed her back and checked her over, making sure she wasn’t hurt.

For Ben, the force of his relief was pounding in his ears. He briefly closed his eyes as he held his daughter closer.

When he opened them again, he met your gaze. You couldn’t speak. All you could do was grab onto his wrist for support. He gave that to you, wrapping his free arm around your waist and pulling you into his side.

“Frank,” he said. His voice was a sharp command. The other man was ready to carry out whatever Ben asked. He also looked relieved to see that Lila was all right.

“Pull the car around,” said Ben. Frank nodded, and went to do just that.

Ben turned to watch in satisfaction when Frenchie and M.M. hauled up a still twitching Slingshot. Butcher slapped a pair of electroshock handcuffs on him that would keep him better contained this time—courtesy of the S.A. armory. He nodded over at Ben, and the latter returned the gesture.

You missed it all, as you were preoccupied with comforting your daughter.

“It’s okay, honey. We’re going home,” you gently whispered to Lila, who was still hiding her face in Ben’s neck. You shared a look with him, and he gave you a short nod. His hand moved to the small of your back, both protective and possessive as the three of you moved towards the garage exit.

There Frank waited with the car that would take your family home.

You watched Ben with the beginning of tears brimming in your eyes. You managed to hold them at bay while he set Lila down in her bed. You’d just finished giving her a bath and helping her get into her pajamas after a quiet, somewhat tense dinner.

Lila still seemed upset in her unusually quiet mood, which you knew was understandable. Ben sat at her bedside and soothed a hand over her head, brushing her cheek with his thumb.

“You’ve had a crazy friggin’ day, huh?” he asked. Lila didn’t want to look at him, but he encouraged it with gentle fingers brushing her chin, teasing the tip of her nose. She hinted at a smile and finally met his eyes. He smiled back at her, if more reserved. But his expression turned serious again.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. He could see it. She had been more or less fine throughout dinner, but now she’d turned quiet and withdrawn again. She only got like that when she was upset about something.

Lila toyed with the ear of her stuffed animal, Charlie. Frank had retrieved it for her from the daycare.

“Sorry I talked to strangers,” Lila mumbled.

You had to bite the inside of your lip so you wouldn’t cry. You came over to sit on the other side of her bed. You sniffed and shook your head, but Ben beat you to what you wanted to say.

“You’re not in trouble, all right? We’re not mad,” he said.

Lila’s lower lip wobbled. Ben sighed and picked her up, plopping her down in his lap. She hugged him as tight as she could and he held her back, warm and secure.

“You know I’m always gonna be there to keep you safe. You never have to worry or be afraid,” he said.

You carded your fingers through Lila’s hair so she knew you were there too. Usually, the roles were reversed, where you were doing the comforting and Ben was the solid support. Right now though, you just didn’t have the words. Not when guilt was eating you from the inside out.

Fortunately, your husband did have the words, after he heaved a sigh.

“I might raise my voice, sometimes, but uh…you never have to be afraid of me either. Okay?” he said.

"Mhmm," Lila agreed.

You laid hand on Ben's arm, gently squeezing. He met your gaze, and knew what you were prodding with just that look in your eyes.

Briefly, he hesitated before he looked back down at his daughter.

"I'm sorry I scared you," he said.

Lila nodded against his chest. “It's okay.”

“Good,” he said, laying a kiss on her forehead. “All right, you ready to go to bed?”

She clung to him and made a sound of refusal.

You were finally able to crack a smile. You leaned down by her ear.

“You want Daddy to read you a story first?” you asked.

Ben shot you a look at the way you volunteered him for that. He was tired and drained.

But one hopeful, shiny look from his daughter, and he folded like a deck of cards.

Later, when Lila was asleep, you tucked her in one last time and Ben turned out the light. He kept the door cracked open, just in case she called for either one of you tonight.

Then, somehow, you and Ben ended up in the kitchen instead of the bedroom. As exhausted as both of you were, you needed this moment to decompress, with one of your old favorite pastimes…

He broke out the whiskey while you found an appropriate midnight snack, and then a seat with him at the breakfast bar. The two of you shared a companionable silence, as well as a large bag of sea salt and vinegar chips.

That was sort of how you felt inside.

“Today can’t happen again,” Ben said, breaking the silence.

You looked over at him, but he was looking beyond you. Maybe so he didn’t have to show you how deeply he’d been rattled. You knew him far too well for that.

“Of course not,” you replied. And you released a sigh. “So here’s what I’m thinking. From now on I’ll work from home, so I can watch Lila until she goes to preschool.”

Ben got ready to argue, but you held up a hand. The other went to rest over your belly. You had scheduled an ultrasound with Dr. Tonya Baker tomorrow, just to make sure all was well after this ordeal.

“I already plan to take my maternity leave when this guy rolls into town,” you said with a smile. “Then, when I’m ready, and if it’s feasible, I can continue to work from home until all the kids are in school.”

Ben’s lips twitched humorlessly. He should’ve known you’d continue making this a negotiation. He set down his glass, and he reached out to slide a hand over yours, across your belly. He took in a deep breath. But when he let it go, you sensed you still hadn’t convinced him.

“Listen, I know you don’t want me to work—” you began.

“It’s not that,” he said. He made sure you looked him in the eyes when he said it. “It’s not.”

Despite yourself, you read the sincerity in his words. It had you pausing, waiting for him to continue.

“You know damn well…that just being around me is dangerous,” he said. “To you, and to Lila. But you being connected with Supe Affairs, working these missions, even from behind a desk, it’s a fucking risk. It’ll always be a risk.”

You considered that with new understanding. You took his hand with both of yours.

“Ben, this life, this work…it’s the same for me as it is for you. It’s all I know how to do. It’s what I’m wired for. So that’s why it’s hard for me to turn down that dial,” you explained. “But look, I understand what you’re saying. Believe me, I do. And today…today was…”

Your breath hitched as tears stung in your eyes. Ben shook his head and tugged you closer.

“Come ‘ere,” he said.

You left your chair to go to him. You stood between his long legs while he pulled you into a warm embrace. Logically, you knew that what happened today wasn’t your fault. However, part of you still felt like a failure of a mother for underestimating the risks of having your daughter at the S.A.

You should’ve known better, you berated yourself. And yet, it was Ben’s words that stopped your train of thought.

“Today wasn't on you,” he said. "Get that thought outta your head."

He knew you well too, and this was one of those times. You wept harder against him, pressing your face into the crook of his neck. He held you, comforted you until you began to calm down.

“Take your maternity leave early,” he said. His deep voice was a rumble. “You’re going to have your hands full with Lila when I’m not here. Unless we hire someone to help you.”

It was an idea you could consider, but who could you trust? That was the question.

Maybe your mother? you thought. You knew she was thinking of retiring from her job in a couple of years anyway.

You sighed and slipped your fingers through Ben’s hair. Your hand came to rest on the back of his neck as you leaned against him.

When Lila came into your lives, you had been so excited to start a family that you hadn’t considered the non-physical side effects. Namely, the sacrifices you would have to make in order to keep your family safe.

Before you met Ben, your job was your life. But today reminded you that your daughter…and your unborn son, were more important to you than your job. No matter how important that job might be for the rest of the world.

“Let’s talk about this more tomorrow,” you said, shaking your head. “I can’t think anymore.”

After a beat of hesitation, he agreed with a nod. Like so many battles before, whatever compromise you and Ben finally reached would be hard won. His hand found your cheek and caressed your skin.

“You still try my fucking patience, you know that?” he muttered.

You smiled tiredly. “Did you really expect that to change?”

He scoffed. Even so, he guided you off his shoulder so that he could claim your lips. His kiss tasted like the burn of whiskey. You met his demanding lips in kind, though you were the first one to part from him slowly.

“I love you,” you whispered a reminder.

Ben nodded and pressed a kiss to your forehead. He lingered there for a moment, as if he could pause the world for a while.

He eventually let out a breath through his nose and allowed himself to be honest.

“I love you too,” he said.

With that shared understanding, he stood from his seat. He drained the last of his glass before he bent to gather you up into his arms. You yelped in surprise, clinging to his shoulders.

“Time for some rest,” Ben said. There was a certain smile on his face, gentler than usual.

He forged a path towards the bedroom. You sighed and laid your head against his chest.

For once, you didn’t argue with him.

AN: I've been wanting to put this one out for a while now. 💚💚 I so hope you enjoyed this chapter of the BMD verse! Do you like how their little family is evolving? 😘

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Break Me Down Masterlist

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Series Tag List (Part 1):

@deans-spinster-witch @this-is-me19 @waynes-multiverse @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @spalady26

@spnwoman @syrma-sensei @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @muhahaha303 @123passwort

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anundyingfidelity · 2 months

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soldier boy core

#soldier boy #soldier boy/ben #soldier boy the boys #soldier boy jensen ackles #the boys series #the boys amazon prime #the boys #jensen ackles #the boys soldier boy

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lamentationsofalonelypotato · 8 days

Text

You Call It Madness But I Call It Love

Chapter 18: First Impressions Are Often Correct

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy. This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter eighteen of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 11.6K

Warnings: I'm going to rate this one 18+ just to be on the safe side. :) References to sex, Cursing, Angst, Mentions of Death, Blood, Gore, Possessive Soldier Boy, Protective Soldier Boy, Soft Soldier Boy, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, completely a little OOC. Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.

Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

A/N: I'm so sorry, I know this has been a long time coming. I work hard, but writer's block works harder tbh.

********************************************************

It had to be herogasm. You think to yourself with an audible groan looking up at the mid-century house from your position in the tree-line while watching the couples on the back porch writhe against one another.

The three hour drive from your apartment to Vermont had been uneventful and quiet. Every once in a while Ben would whisper something to you and you would half answer, but only because your mind was somewhere else or rather on someone else.

It was on Rosemary. She had stopped trying to text you or call you, and the silence was worse. You had no idea what she was going to do or what she was thinking. It was a miracle that she hadn’t shown up to your apartment and kicked down the front door before you left. You knew she was angry about the whole situation. And the sooner you dealt with the twins the sooner you could go see her.

Of course you still had no idea how you were going to bring up the conversation with Ben and you knew that there was no way he would let you just leave with no explanation to go talk to her.

This is why I hate texting. I should have just gone to see her, I shouldn’t have told her that Ben was back in a text, if anything that's a three drink minimum. Hell, she's probably half way through a second bottle of wine by now. Something that you also had considered several times today. Guess sobriety is going out the window. Shocker.

Ben kept asking you what was wrong, sensing your discomfort on the drive and held your hand tightly between the two of you, but you only shook your head whenever he asked. He thought that you were having second thoughts of going after the twins, but that was the one thing you were sure of. They deserved to pay for what they did, all of your team did. Anger rises beneath your skin like a roaring crowd when you think of all the years Ben spent alone in Russia being tortured and experimented on. Years that you could have stopped if only you'd known, years that he could never get back, memories that wouldn't fade in the next decade or two, and memories that you hoped you could replace by making him feel loved, by holding him close, and allowing yourself to forget the memories that still plagued you when you thought about the past.

But you still didn't know how the hell you were going to tell him about Rosemary. Every moment it felt like the words were going to vomit out of your mouth, but you clamped your jaw shut. You didn’t want to talk about Rosemary in front of Butcher and Hughie, didn’t want to tell Ben like that. What you needed to say about Rosemary and Lou didn’t deserve to be shouted at him or said in haste, you wanted to sit Ben down and tell him, give him time to adjust to the idea. Because you had no idea how he was going to react to the news that he was a dad and a grandfather.

Would he pull away again? Would he run? Would he leave me? Those thoughts kept swirling around your mind like a mixtape. You were scared that by telling him about her would make him go cold like he did the moment you told him you loved him. You remembered the distant look that replaced his smile as soon as you had uttered those three little words.

Little but not simple. Three little words that launched ships and started a hundred wars. Three little words with the power to create and the power to destroy. Three words that Ben had said to you more times than you could count since he came back to you, and three words you wished you never stopped hearing him say, the three words you always wanted him to say to you.

If Ben pushed you away now, you knew that you wouldn't survive it this time, knew that there was no going back. Which made you more fearful about Rosemary's reaction to Ben coming back into your life.

You were afraid that Rosemary would give you an ultimatum and make you choose between her and Lou or Ben. You really hoped that it didn’t come to that. You had just gotten Ben back and you didn’t want to have to pick between him and your family.

Because Ben is family too. You knew that deep down in your bones, even after everything that happened, Ben was your family. He was the only person who knew you inside and out, the only man you’d ever loved and the only person who understood you. You couldn’t turn your back on him and you didn’t want to shut him out. Not when you loved him more than life itself.

Your frown deepens as you continue to watch the people on the back porch while your supe hearing picks up the moans and sounds of the couples inside and the subtle thump of music, new pop songs that you didn't understand and didn't try. You were up with the times, but it didn't mean you had to like what was happening or the new music being produced no matter how hard Rosemary tried to get you to listen to it.

You sigh again, trying to drown out the sounds by focusing on the wind moving through the trees and the birds flitting through the branches overhead, but it wasn’t working. The beautiful day was already ruined by the loud and messy sounds from the inside of the house.

“Always wanted to bring you to one of these Sweetheart.” Ben glances over at you with a cheeky grin, lowering the binoculars from his eyes, but then he notes your frown. “Then again-“ His hand comes around your waist to pull you into him. “That means I would have had to share you with someone else, and I’d much rather have you all to myself.”

You can feel his smirk against your ear, but it does little ease your anxiety about Rosemary and the looming conversation you were going to have with Ben when this was over.

Hughie had disappeared a few moments ago to scout out the inside and to find the twins, while Butcher was doing a walk of the perimeter, leaving you and Ben to wait for the all clear. A welcome break, because every few minutes Hughie would play with a Geiger counter and the high pitched creak-like squeak was giving you a headache. Not to mention annoying you. You'd only been able to have a few sips of your coffee this morning after Butcher and Hughie burst into you apartment, but at least your anxiety was picking up the slack.

Because of course it was.

The house in front of you looked innocent enough on the outside, big windows light wood, but now that you were here, you really didn’t want to go inside. Despite wanting to face the twins, you didn’t want to go inside and be reminded of the one reason why you stayed away from Herogasm.

At least today we aren’t attending it as much as crashing it.

“Why do you think I hated going to Herogasm?” You murmur, frown deepening at you continue to stare at the house. The memories of the past had an ugly way of crashing down on you and despite not wanting to make Ben feel guilty, keeping them to yourself made you feel worse. Plus you figured he knew when you were lying, because Ben was basically a human lie detector when it came to you.

Ben sighs, his warm breath washing over the side of your face as his arm tightens around your waist to secure you to him. “Sweetheart please look at me.” His voice is comforting, filled with emotion, but you still don't look at him.

“What?” You whisper, mind still a million miles away.

His fingertips come under your chin to turn your face to his. Ben’s green eyes lock with yours, soft and apologetic, familiar in the best way and weird given the fact that he was wearing his uniform. You’d never seen him look so sorry when he was dressed up as Soldier Boy.

“I would have killed any man who tried to touch you, especially after the night we shared together. When Vogelbaum danced with you I wanted to rip his arms off.” His eyes darken.

You remembered the way he watched Vogelbaum and you dance together at the premiere with the cameras flashing in your eyes, but then the image of Countess plastered to his hip arises. The way she ran her hands up his chest, the way he turned his gaze away from you to stare at her.

“Yes, but see I never killed any woman that touched you-“

Double standard much?

“Well-“

“Countess doesn’t count.” You snap.

Ben’s thumb strokes along your jaw, before his expression softens again. “I’m sorry.”

“You’ve apologized-“ You sigh, suddenly guilty. You hadn't meant to snap at him like that, you were on edge because of Rosemary, not because of what Ben did in the past. You were already starting to forgive him for what he did.

“Not for this.” He takes in a deep breath before he pulls you closer to him. “I’m sorry that I made you think I didn’t want you. Because I do. I don't want anyone else, haven't ever wanted anyone else like I want you. I was so stupid. I fucked those other women because I couldn’t handle how I felt about you and I didn’t think that you would ever want me even a fraction of how much I want you-“

“More.” You whisper before you can stop yourself, laying your hand against the front of his suit.

“That is impossible.” Ben smiles faintly.

You toy with the material, plucking it between your fingers. “It’s okay. I understand why you did it. But it was hard to watch you with them.” You try to fight the image of him and Countess again, that is quickly followed by the memories of the many women over the years you’d see Ben with in public and of course the memory of the first and only Herogasm you ever went to, the one you left early because you couldn’t bear to see Ben with anyone else. The same one that you swore you saw Ben watching you just as closely when Noir tried to reach out for you and you walked away.

It’s different now. You think to yourself. Ben said that he’s wanted me this whole time and I believe him. I don’t think he would lie about something like that, not to mention he’s been more open about what he’s feeling.

“I know.” Ben continues to stroke along your jaw. “But I promise it won’t happen ever again.”

“I believe you.” You lock your arms around the back of his neck to hold him closer to you, loving the way his body felt wrapped around you, like he was molded just for you.

“Good.” He leans his forehead against yours for a moment. "Can I kiss you yet?" Ben's words are quiet, barely above a whisper, so low that you know if you didn't have super hearing you'd have missed them.

"You've never been a patient man. In all the years I've known you." You breathe with a smile.

"Maybe I've just never met someone worth waiting for." Ben's nose nudges into the space between you faces, waiting for you to tell him it's okay and you want to. "But you are Sweetheart."

"You've waited forty years."

"You waited longer."

His words make a ball of emotion lodge in the back of your throat, because it meant Ben listened. He heard everything you said to him and he wasn't going to forget, he was going to make this up to you.

It was hard to say no to him, not when he was smiling at you and gazing at you the way you'd always wished him to.

"We both know I'm a bit more patient than you."

"Maybe."

"You know, maybe we should be focusing on something else right now." You smirk, still keeping your lips just as hairsbreadth away from his.

“It's hard to focus on anything else, not when you’re wearing something like that.” Ben purrs, thumbs brushing against you hips in a way that makes your chest tight.

Your smirk deepens “Oh this old thing?”

At the last minute you had chosen to wear the outfit you had picked when you thought you were going to be going to Russia to get Ben, rather than your old supe suit. You didn’t want to be connected with the person you were then, and despite Ben’s want to hold on to Soldier Boy, you were more than happy to let Indigo go.

The outfit was working better than you thought. The tight black tactical pants, combat boots, black leather jacket, and long sleeved leather corseted blouse that was sinched at your waist all perfectly accentuated the curves that your mother tried to hide. When you had walked out of your closet wearing it, Ben’s entire body had gone rigid.

“What?” You’d asked him with an innocent smile standing just a few steps outside your closet, while watching the tension in his shoulders.

“Damn it sweetheart you’re making this hard.” He had responded, clenching his hands into fists at his sides to hold himself back from crossing your bedroom to touch you. It made you smile wider to understand that he was trying to respect the boundaries you made between the two of you.

“What is it that I’m making hard Benjamin?”

“Fuck. Don’t tease me. Nobody likes a tease.”

You’d smirked at him. “Sorry babe you walked right into that one.”

“It’s not fair-“ Ben had growled.

“What’s not fair?”

“You wearing that, biting your fucking lip like that-“

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He’d stalked towards you, eyes dark, causing you to back up until your back hit your pale bedroom wall. His hand had landed next to your head, the other wound around your hip so you could feel the heat of his skin through your clothes.

“You know, two can play at that game Sweetheart.” Ben had murmured, easing his face so close to yours that you could feel his breath against your lips.

“And what game is that?” You’d said it trying to keep your composure, but the dark look in his eyes and the smell of his shampoo was everywhere. Your heart beat had given you away, thudding violently in your chest as if it wanted to break free. It was hard to ignore how much you still wanted him after all these years.

"You know exactly what game." Ben had held your gaze, raising an eyebrow as a confident smirk pulled at his lips. He could hear your heartbeat too, probably could smell how much you wanted him. “But you’re so fucking beautiful I'll let it slide.”

“Huh?” It had been the last thing you thought he was going to say. If anything you’d thought he was going to tease you.

The hand that had been previously on the wall near your head dropped onto your face to gently trace the arch of your brow and the dip of your bottom lip.

“You always have been. I thought I remembered wrong but-" His expression shifted from the seductive smirk into something softer. "Fuck I missed you." Ben had leaned his forehead against yours. "So tease me all you want. I'll wait, because you're worth every second."

Remembering what he said earlier still filled you with an incredible amount of love and made you want to kiss him all the more now. Knowing that he was willing to wait for you to be okay with whatever came next made you fall harder for him. But now you knew that you needed to focus on what you were about to do. And standing here in front of the house, listening to what was going on inside made you sober up, just a little bit…. But not completely.

"Then again I thought those overalls were pretty sexy too." Ben states, staring down at you with a wide smile as the mid-afternoon sun turned his hair into a light brown and found the flecks of gold in his eyes. He looked every bit as handsome as you were accustomed to, so much in fact that it made your heart ache.

"Sure." You roll your eyes. "I think you're the first person in history to say that." Your fingers lightly curl into the strands at the back of his head.

"Maybe. Or maybe you're just the sexiest woman in history."

"Shut up."

Ben's gaze darkens. "Make me, Sweetheart."

Every viable thought except the thought of crashing your lips to his vanishes.

I wonder if they're as soft as I remember. If he still makes that sound when I-

"You two ready?" Butcher interrupts appearing just over Ben's shoulder, but smirking when he sees how close the two of you are. "Or do you love birds need a little alone time?"

You roll your eyes and let go of Ben's hair, as he loosens his grip on your hips. Stepping back away from him was like having a bucket of cold water drop over you, you missed him and yet he was standing a full sixteen inches away from you.

This is really not good.

"You have the worst fucking timing." Ben moves to pick up his shield, but the playful smirk he'd had a few seconds ago has been replaced with a frown.

You wondered if he was as disappointed as you were.

The wind shifts and you can smell the Temp V in Butcher's veins, hear the steady beat of his heart as it pumps blood through his body, strengthening him, making him feel indestructible. When Butcher and Hughie had injected it at the back of Butcher's car, you couldn't help but be reminded of the day you took V. You had been afraid and when they injected it, you remember the pain, the unspeakable pain that made you scream so loud that Ben heard you from the room he was being kept in, and he broke through the wall to get to you. It was how the scientists learned that Ben had super strength, because he had smashed through solid rock to make sure you were okay.

Butcher shrugs and begins to walk through the trees towards the side door of the house, leaving you and Ben alone.

"You didn't answer my question." He hefts his shield up with a smirk.

He didn't have to explain, you knew he was asking about the kiss. "I'll take a raincheck."

"Hmm." Ben takes a few steps towards the house, before he stops to look back at you. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Huh?"

"In the car, even now. You're kinda quiet." He shrugs.

"I-" You were going to say that you were fine, but you knew that he would clock the lie. "We need to talk about something, but it can wait. This is important too."

Ben's frown deepens, but then he finally sighs. "Alright. Come on you’re lagging behind doll."

"Guess you changed your mind about wanting me here." You snort as you catch up to him.

Ben puts his hand on your wrist, turning you to look at him. "I always want you with me." His hand trails up your arm to finally rest under your chin. Ben smiles, leaning down towards you, but before you can arch up into him, he presses a kiss to your forehead. "I love you." He murmurs into the top of your head.

"I love you too."

And with that, you both follow Butcher into the house hosting the worst event in all of history.

************************************************

I should have brought ear plugs. You cringe as you follow behind Ben and Butcher, weaving through the lower levels of the house. Maybe someone will let me borrow their blindfold. Hopefully there are nose plugs somewhere… well there have been other kinds of plugs but those are a bit big for my nose.

You walk down the staircase after Ben and Butcher who pulled ahead a few moments ago and as you do the sharp sour smell of a chemical wafts in your face, different than the other odors in the house.

What is that?

You round the corner and see Ben up ahead, shrouded in smoke, staring down an attractive muscular black man who for some reason has decided to raise his fists to challenge Ben. Your eyes trace the man's face, recognition pulling at your heart. You knew who he was. The first time you'd seen him he'd only been a boy, made eye contact with you at a funeral you couldn't help but go to, after Ben made a mistake. You'd offered the boy an encouraging smile and left the boy's family an envelope of cash in their mailbox because you couldn't think of anything else to do for them. You knew it couldn't replace who they lost, but you didn't know what else to do. Ben had been upset with himself after, he always was when he lost control. He showed up on your doorstep like he always did, drunk, high, smelling like stale perfume, and fell asleep in your bed after you reassured him the same way you always did.

Now that little boy was grown up and standing in front of you. You see recognition flash in his eyes as he sees you. Of course it does. You didn't look any different and you hadn't worn your supe suit when you went to the funeral.

"Not him." Butcher says to Ben, but Ben doesn't look away from the man.

"Ben." You whisper, reaching out to touch his arm gently.

Ben's eyes flick to yours. The look in Ben's eyes is familiar, predatory, unwilling to back down from a fight. Soldier Boy. You'd seen it countless times before, talked him out of killing people in the past. You hated how quickly you had to slip into your old job, the one that made you feel like a babysitter, but you shake it off.

"He doesn't know what he's doing. Come on. The Twins are upstairs, I can hear them arguing." It was true, you could, but you didn't want this to turn ugly so quickly. Not when the real reason why you were here were currently arguing about toilet cameras.

His jaw tightens, eyes sliding to the man standing at the other end of the room, before he nods once and motions for you to go ahead of him.

As you continue to move through the house, you fight the shudder that threatens to travel down your spine when you think of how Ben looked moments ago. It was the first time you had seen Soldier Boy since Ben showed up again, and it was the same way you remembered it. You just hoped deep down that Ben really did want to change and that he was adopting the façade of Soldier Boy to get through what came next. You knew that you were going to have to adopt one as well.

"Here." You stop just before the two of you round the corner where the Twins were in the other room. "Let me go first. They might not try to run if I go in before you."

Ben frowns. "I don't want you to-"

"I know, but it'll be better this way."

"Fine."

You walk around the wall and towards the circular room where the Twins are fighting, ignoring the couples on the outskirts that are grinding against one another.

Like Countess, the Twins didn't look good, both were considerably older, rounder, grayer, and more wrinkly than the last time you'd seen them, but they were still the same. Still arguing and still just as annoying as they had been forty years ago.

"I never want to see you again!" Tommy spits at his sister, adjusting the golden robe slung over his shoulders that flaps around him like a cape.

"Oh sure!" Tessa sniffs while puffing on a joint. "Our Westfield mall appearance is next week and nobody is going to come see you without me!"

That must suck to have your powers depend on someone else.

"Wow, mall appearances? Aren't we all getting a bit old for that?" You flash a winning smile as you step down into the room, locking eyes with Tessa.

Both of the twins visibly pale, their hearts speeding up to work overtime, as the stench of adrenaline begins to waft through the air between you. It's almost comical how identical their reactions are to Countess' at seeing you for the first time in forty years. Then again you hoped that you looked better than they did.

Why didn't I try to find out more after Ben "died?" If our entire team had this reaction to seeing me then I would have known the truth and Ben wouldn't have been in a fucking Russian Lab all these years!

Their plan to ensure you not being in Nicaragua had paid off, because not only were you not there, you didn't want anything to do with any of them. And you wished that you had confronted them all those years ago. You knew that you'd live with that guilt for a long time, but now you allowed your anger at what they all did to Ben, overpower it.

"Y/n-" Tessa stutters.

It was weird to see her at a loss for words. You and all of Payback had listened to her nag Tommy since the moment they joined the team. Judging by what you had walked into, you figured that she hadn't changed at all.

"Hey long time no see!" Tommy fakes enthusiasm while licking his lips nervously, eyes darting to the open doors behind you. You could practically see the escape plan forming in his mind.

"You know, when I found out you guys were living in Vermont I was surprised. I would have thought that you moved down South. They’re probably more accepting of your relationship.” You make air quotes around the word relationship, before shifting your smile into an worried frown. “Oh sorry, are the two of you still pretending that you’re not fucking?”

Tessa’s gaze turns stone cold. “What the fuck do you want?”

“I was in the neighborhood, thought I’d check in.” You look around the room. “You guys have a nice house. Must have budgeted better than Countess did. Her tailer, now that was a shit hole. Must not have done as many mall appearances.”

Tommy’s heart skips a beat at the mention of Countess’s name. “Look y/n-“

“Please. We didn’t have anything against you. We didn’t come after you. Even after all these years we left you alone.” Fear seeps into Tessa’s voice with her plea, eyes wide with worry.

They had reason to be worried, you’d all but admitted to killing Countess.

“Oh sweetie.” You with false sweetness in your tone. “It’s cute that you think you can beg for mercy. That you're deserving of it.” The room begins to shake with the force of your anger as your eyes shift to bright purple. Cracks like thin spiderwebs stretch through the wide windows behind them and through the thick drywall as you lose control, the composure you always held on to drowning in the flood of emotion you feel when you look at the two of them. “Ben told me exactly what happened that day-“

“He lied to you!” Tommy exclaims. “He went crazy! You know how he gets, how he loses control!”

“He lost control and we had to protect ourselves y/n-“ Tessa adds, another lie.

Ben steps into the room beside you, his eyes are focused on the Twins, and if you thought they looked afraid when you showed up, they look near dead when Ben appears.

"You were saying?" You raise an eyebrow.

"Ben! Hey Buddy!." Tommy forces another smile but pales when he realizes Ben just heard him and Tessa try to lie to you. "How are you? Long time. We were just talking to y/n about-“

Ben's eyes narrow, stopping whatever Tommy was going to say about you.

"Nicaragua wasn't our fault!" Tommy says to recover. "Neither was the premiere." His eyes dart to yours, cowering under the purple light that pulses from your irises.

Wow. Just. Wow.

"We swear." Tessa adds.

"Why should we believe you?" You spit.

"Please-"

"Then whose fault was it?" Ben's frown deepens, hand tightening on the shield.

None of the other couples have stopped what they are doing, too enthralled in one another to notice what was going to unfold between the four of you.

"It was Noir!" Tommy shouts desperately, his eyes flitting from Ben to you as if trying to see which one of you will believe him. "He gave Ben to the Russians."

It's almost pathetic watching his mad scramble to protect himself. Apart of you hates that you don't feel guilty for any of this, at least with Countess at the beginning you felt some guilt for hurting her, but with them there was nothing. Not even the prick of remorse, there was only anger.

Ben chuckles under his breath. "We all know that Noir didn't even take a shit without Vought's say so."

"Not to mention his head was so far up Stan's ass it's a wonder that he could breathe." You narrow your eyes at the two of them waiting for them to make a move. They might be cowards, but if you knew the Twins well enough, you knew that they weren't above throwing a bolt of lighting in your direction. And you knew for a fact that electrocution wasn't fun.

"It's the truth!" Tessa shouts above the moans and wet squelch of the people around you. “Please y/n we have children.”

“You're really the worst liar hon. Always have been." You snap, listening to her heartbeat jolt in her chest as she attempts to save herself.

"Please talk Ben out of this, just like you did for Noir-“ Tommy's plea falls on deaf ears, but you knew what he was talking about. The day that you saved Noir's life because he started a fight with Ben over a stupid role in a movie. But this was different, no part of you wanted to save them from this, to save them from what they deserved.

“Noir will get what’s coming to him.” You don't recognize your own voice. "You brought this on yourselves."

But then something shifts in the air, call it a feeling, or an energy current, but something feels wrong.

The music coming from the radio has changed to a Russian pop song, why it's playing you have no idea, all you know is that it does something to Ben.

The sound of his shield hitting the ground rings in your ears and you turn to look at him. His entire body is tensed beneath his suit, sweat dotting along his hairline, red beginning to creep into his cheeks. His eyes are squeezed shut and he shakes his head as if he's trying to clear it.

"Ben? Are you okay?" Your hold on the room vanishes, eyes fading back to their normal color as your worry turns to Ben.

His fists are clenched tightly together as he brings them up to the sides of his head, chest beginning to glow with his new power, the one you'd never seen before, the one that Ben said practically vaporized whatever was in it's path.

Shit.

"Ben. Stay with me, listen to my voice." You touch the sides of his face, begging him to listen to your plea. As much as you wanted the Twins to pay, Ben wasn't just losing control of his powers, this was different. It was almost like he was being dragged somewhere else, somewhere you couldn't follow.

"Everything's okay. I'm here, I'm right here." You soothe, but he continues to glow brighter and brighter and you're directly in the line of fire.

Shit.

Ben's eyes flash open, no longer bright green but an orange-gold that makes fear snag in your ribs like a fishing hook. His hand makes contact with your chest shoving you to the side, out of the way of the beam, but unfortunately through the solid rock wall.

You don't really know what happens next. The world goes black for a few minutes, not like when you die, but just black as everything burns around you when Ben explodes. You're not sure how long you're under, could be minutes, could be hours, all you know is that when you wake up everything hurts.

It's how you know that you didn't officially die. Whenever you woke up after death, it was different, you felt powerful, reborn, but right now you felt like a train ran over you. A headache throbs at your temples as you begin to come to, blinking your eyes against the darkness that doesn't go away. Your ears are ringing, filled with the screams of those who survived and the smell of burned flesh and blood surrounds you like a cloud.

A mountain of rubble and roofing covers you, leaving you in the darkness to get your bearings, but nothing feels broken.

At least the brick fireplace broke my fall. You think to yourself with a groan as you begin to push off the planks of wood and pieces of the roof that cover your body, so you can sit up. As soon as you do, your head spins and you fight the unpleasant urge to throw up.

Great. Might have a concussion.

You might be as strong as Ben, but your ability to die meant that you were just a little bit less equipped to handle a hit like that.

Ben. Worry and fear war in your heart as you look around the broken room that lays in tatters around you.

The house isn’t recognizable anymore. Singed carpet floats in tufts with ash around your face like a swarm of flies while fires burn in clumps all over the ruined room. Chunks of drywall and planks of blackened wood litter the floor and the back half of the house is gone, burned to a crisp in the blast from Ben.

What the fuck did they put in his chest? Ben had tried to describe it to you, tried to explain it, but standing here in the rubble you understood just how bad it was. The ruins in Mid-town you had seen the coverage of on the news, but it was a completely different thing to experience it in person.

People are going to think that he did this on purpose. That he's a bad person, that he's some kind of terrorist. The thought is immediately followed by the fear that Vought and the government would come to take him away. Your jaw tightens. I'd like to see them try.

The bodies of Tommy and Tessa are burned beyond recognition, still holding hands, but now are just blacked lumps of flesh and bone that lay where they tried to make their final stand. But you feel no remorse.

It’s what we came here to do, to make them pay. You bite the inside of your cheek listening to the screams of those who survived. I just didn't think that so many others would get hurt.

You continue to look around the room, worry rising in your chest as you think of Ben and remember the look on his face. He had been scared of what was about to happen even if he didn’t want to admit it. He lost control. In the past when he lost control the worst thing he could do was rip someone in half or smash their face into a pulp, but now if Ben ever lost control he'd level a building.

I see a lot of yoga in his future. Or maybe anger management classes.

Although the thought makes you smile, as soon as you see Ben everything else fades from your mind. Ben is on his knees in the center of the room, head slumped forward on his chest, hands laying limply by his sides, as he takes in shaky breaths. You could hear the frantic pound of his heart, beating hard against his rib cage as if begging to be released. Seeing him like that almost sends you into overdrive. You’d never seen him look so defeated, so small, so tired, so… lost.

“Ben?” You fall to your knees next to him, reaching out to touch his face, to bring his attention to you.

His body tenses as you do so, eyes narrowing when he meets yours like he doesn’t know you. His eyes miles away.

But where?

“Hey, it’s me.” You say gently, cupping his face with your hands to rub your thumbs across his cheeks while fear grips your heart as you try to bring him back to you. “It’s me, I’m here. It’s okay.”

Ben inhales sharply as if suddenly remembering, the look in his eyes clearing for a moment, rising through the fog. "Y/n?" He whispers.

"Yeah. I'm here." You repeat, smiling at him even though the urge to cry builds in the back of your throat. It broke your heart to see him like this. You push his hair back from his face, brushing the ash from the mahogany strands.

“Are you okay? Did I-“ Worry etches itself across his handsome face.

“I’m fine. Shhh.” You soothe, pulling him against you so your can rub his back softly and lock him in your embrace. But the truth was you were afraid. You didn’t understand what happened and couldn’t explain the look in his eyes when he went under, when he started to lose himself in his newfound powers. Ben crumbles into you, leaning his head against your shoulder as if needing it to strengthen him.

“It’s okay. Everything’s okay.” You weren’t sure the effects the blast had on him, just that he seemed unsure as to how the hell he did it.

Where did he go in those moments?

“The twins?” Ben mumbles.

“They’re dead.” You could hear the approaching ambulances and police cars, hear the anxious chatter of the survivors outside.

We’ve got to get out of here.

“Come on. Let’s go.” You say softly rising to your feet and helping him up. Ben stumbles a step, shaking his head like he can’t catch his bearings and the worry comes roaring back. You catch him and tilt his body so he can lean on you. “Ben are you okay?” Your fingers dance against the sides of his face trying to bring his focus back to you, because you were afraid he might lose himself to whatever the hell happened before.

“I will be in a minute.” Ben takes in a shaky breath, leaning on your shoulder. "I don't know what happened."

"It's okay." His shield rises telekinetically from the rubble and into your outstretched hand that glows a brilliant purple in the dusty light. Smoke billows up from the room around you obscuring the sunlight that filters through the ruined front of the house, but you can still see the front drive already becoming swarmed with people and news crews.

Because that's exactly what Rosemary needs to see, me and Ben on the 5'oclock news. Fuck.

"Come on." You lead him back the way you can, toting his shield in your free hand, down the stairs.

When you spot Butcher, Ben straightens finally catching his bearings and takes the shield from you. Butcher looks from Ben to you, eyebrows raised.

"Sorted?"

"Yeah." Ben frowns.

You could tell that he was still a little shaky, but you knew he wasn't going to admit that to anyone, especially not to Butcher. Your gaze falls on the man from before laying on the ground, the man that Butcher had told Ben to leave.

Why did he want Ben to spare his life if Butcher was only going to beat him down?

But just as you take a step towards the man to check him for injuries, a long shadow falls on the floor at your feet.

Your eyes jolt upwards and focus on Homelander. The smell of hairspray, hair dye, and cheap cologne waft through the air at Homelander's appearance. He's shorter than you expected him to be, not overtly muscular, but he didn't need to be. Supes with superstrength didn't need to look like body builders, and you suspected that the only reason why Homelander even had any kind of muscle was for his image as America's Hero. Then again, you never complained about Ben's muscular physique.

I don’t think anybody should complain about that and- Nope. Nope. Not thinking about that right now.

But as you stare at him there's something wrong, something that you can't place, something that tugs at the back of your mind when you look at him, almost as if you've forgotten something important.

Seeing him in person is surreal. You'd only ever seen him on the news or on billboards or on those stupid energy drinks that were sold at the bodega on the corner where you get coffee filters sometimes, but the look in his eyes is the same. It's cold, unfeeling, and reminds you of those ridiculous shark documentaries that Rosemary is obsessed with. The only time she could watch shark week was after Lou went to bed. She said that watching it made her feel better about her job and you didn't complain.

Homelander looks around the room forcing a smile, a predatory glare in his eyes.

"William Butcher and Soldier Boy. Of course you are behind this. It really is all about me." Homelander's smile widens.

Narcissistic much? This guy's like a walking red flag.

He takes a step closer to the three of you, and Ben steps in front of you to shield you from Homelander's view. Homelander clocks the movement, but then tsks his finger at Butcher.

"William we made a deal to fight to the death, you and me." Homelander's eyes begin to glow. "You cheated, deals off."

The red flash of the laser-vision illuminates Ben's face in sharp contrast as the beam hits Butcher full in the chest propelling him back into the wall. His body falls to the ground and lies still.

Well. That's not good.

Honestly you didn't like Butcher all that much, but you couldn't help but feel a little bit bad.

You glance up from Butcher's body to gaze at Homelander again. Fighting him hadn't been on the agenda today, but it was starting to look that way. You knew what his powers were, knew that Vought probably told him his entire life that he was a god and that no one could compare to him. And you knew that the man standing next to you hadn't changed enough to walk away from the fight, no matter how bad his odds were.

And deep down you knew that you weren't going to let Ben take that beating, which of course meant that you were going to fight Homelander. Not that you were afraid of him. One look at him might have sent everyone else heading for the hills, but he didn't intimidate you.

"I watched all your movies, hundreds of times. You were the only one that was nearly as strong as me." The look on Homelander's face is one of respect almost wonder.

And you can imagine a smaller version of Homelander being fed all the same propaganda that Ben and you were fed all those years ago, imagine Homelander growing up hearing that he was stronger, greater, faster than Soldier Boy, and imagine Vogelbaum working hard to make sure to mold Homelander into the hero that America wanted. Not to mention all the shit he probably heard when he was with Stormfront. You were very happy that you didn't have to see her again, though now you had a fun story to tell Ben about one of his exes.

“Buddy you’re wearing a cape, do you think you look strong?” Ben frowns at Homelander.

“It is pretty stupid.” You agree examining Homelander’s supe suit. “Honestly I thought you had it bad with that dorky looking helmet-“ You glance at Ben out of the corner of your eye.

“Really? You’re gonna do this now?” Ben glowers turning his attention to you.

“I’m just being honest it was pretty bad and I’m glad you decided not to wear it today. But his cape is definitely worse.”

“Do you want me to bring up that ridiculous hood you had?”

“You can, but I won’t believe you, because that hood was fabulous and I looked fantastic in it.”

Homelander clears his throat to catch your attention. “Um hello?”

“Hi.” You force a smile. “Oh sorry did we interrupt your little monologue?”

Homelander's gaze turns icy as you continue. “Because we can take this from the top. What was the line again? Something about power or watching his films? I was only half listening. Did you want me to record it for you so you can post it on your socials?”

“What the f-“ Homelander begins to say, but you interrupt him.

“I mean. That is why you practiced it in the mirror for so long right? And why you did your hair and makeup?" You scrunch up your nose. "I'd skip that last mist of hairspray if I were you. You want it to look smooth, not look like you stuck your finger in an electrical socket.”

You could tell that Ben was trying to maintain his composure, but his mouth was twitching in a smile. “Oh wait does your suit have a body cam? I guess that makes things easier, because it probably doesn't have pockets. Not to mention if you dropped your phone while you were flying around-"

"Who the fuck are you?" Homelander spits interrupting you.

"No one important."

“Is he really what passes for a hero these days?” Ben cocks an eyebrow. “He’s just a cheap fucking knock off of me.”

“No.” Homelander snarls, eyes beginning to glow bright red. “I’m the upgrade.”

The laser cuts through the air in slow motion, but you’re already moving.

"Ben!" His name rips from your throat as you lunge forward and shove him as hard as you can out of the way of the beam. You feel the laser tear through your body, the force throwing you backward through one of the wood paneled walls and then the darkness swallows you whole.

If someone were to ask you what it was like to die, you wouldn’t know how to answer. To exist in those thirteen seconds sometimes feels like a dream, like you're floating, but it's always silent. And the silence scares you. How quickly it comes to drag you under and how it seems to replace everything you know or remember about the real world until you come back to life. You understood why Ben didn't like being alone, because you didn't either. It reminded you too much of those moments you were gone, wishing for it to stop. There was never a bright light, there was only the darkness and the silence that fell when your heart stopped beating.

When you take your first breath in thirteen seconds it's full of dust and ash, swirling into your mouth as you inhale sharply to jumpstart your lungs. But at the same time everything is different. The colors in the room are brighter, the sounds more acute, the smells just a fraction stronger, and you feel different. Power floods through your limbs, swirling through flesh and bone, pouring through your veins, electrifying through each nerve ending and setting you on fire, more than any other power ever has. You'd never felt power like this before. Even with Countess and the others that had killed you, no other power you'd ever gotten had felt this strong.

You stand up from the rubble you landed in, covered in a layer of dust and blood. The hole in your new outfit where the laser struck is just under your left breast, the mark left behind already a pink scar. And you knew that Ben would probably kill you for it later, for taking the laser for him, but you didn't care.

Homelander is floating in the center of the room, holding Ben by the throat, smiling cruelly at him.

"Hey asshole." You snarl, spitting out a glob of blood onto the ruined carpet. "We're not done."

Homelander turns his head towards you amused, while Ben grabs at the front of his suit, trying to get his attention, but Homelander is focused on you.

"So that's it? That's your big trick? Laser vision? Forgive me for not cowering in fear." Your hands clench into fists at your sides.

He eyes you for a moment. "You're Indigo aren't you?"

"I used to be. Now I'm just disappointed. I expected more from Vought's big hero, but now I see that you're just another asshole who thinks he's a god." Your eyes drift to Ben for a moment, worry clawing at your heart when you meet his gaze. "So drop him. Before I drop you."

"You’re very confident for someone who was dead a few seconds ago. I don't really see how that ability is going to help you-"

"Before I didn’t want to kill you."

"And you think you can?" He laughs.

"No." You smirk. "I know I can."

"Who do you think you’re talking to?"

"I’m not talking to much." Your eyes narrow. "But I'll be nice, and I'll give you a chance to leave. To tuck your tail between your fucking legs and fly away. We didn't come here for you and you and I don't have to do this."

"And if I don't leave?"

"Then I'll kill you."

"I'd like to see you try." Homelander throws Ben as hard as he can through the brick fireplace, causing rock and mortar to rain down on top of him, but Homelander's eyes don't leave yours. “Well why don’t you give me your best sho-“

He doesn’t have time to finish his sentence, your body ploughs into his tackling him through the solid outer wall and onto the back lawn.

Truthfully you hadn’t meant to go through the wall, you’d only meant to pin him to it, but flying was proving just a little more difficult than you expected. Your hand closes on Homelander’s wrist bringing him down against the ground so hard that the earth quakes, before you throw him as far away from you as you can.

His body spins awkwardly in the air, before he ploughs into one of the thick oak trees head on, at the edge of the backyard. The loud snap of the tree compensating for Homelander’s body fills the air.

He stumbles to his feet, eyes narrowed in pure hatred, lip curled back in a snarl, and his blonde hair flopping forward into his face.

“You chose wrong.” You spit, rolling your shoulders, preparing for what came next.

Homelander lets out a roar and flies towards you, arms outstretched for you, but you’re ready for him.

You catch his fist before it lands against your face and tighten your other hand around his throat. Your bodies are floating two feet off the ground, but it doesn’t faze you.

When Homelander’s gaze meets yours you see just a flicker of fear, a spark, quickly masked by his shock. He struggles to pull away to push you away with his free hand, but all you do is tighten your grip.

"You've never felt real pain before have you?" You force your face into a sympathetic frown, before your eyes harden. "Allow me to enlighten you." You throw him to the ground again, watching his body spin and screech against the grass and dirt.

Given the screams and smell of blood in the air, any witnesses from the massacre inside were at the front of the house waiting for the police, leaving you and Homelander on the backside of the house alone.

Worry for Ben rose in your chest like the peak of a wave, you hadn't seen him since Homelander threw him through the fireplace, but you funnel that worry into all encompassing rage.

"They told you that you were a god right? That you were the most powerful supe that ever lived. They were wrong. There's only one supe more powerful than you, and you just fucking pissed her off." You shout beginning to float towards him.

Homelander growls rising to his feet, eyes glowing bright red as he fires a laser at you, but you’re ready.

Your own beam catches his mid air between you, the high pitched sizzle and smell of ozone floats across your face, but you don't back down. If anything, it just makes you more angry.

And then something slams into you from the side, breaking the connection between your beam and Homelander's.

"What-" You shout, looking up at the body above yours, preparing to blast them off, but you realize it's Ben. "Ben what-"

"Stay here." He growls, eyes black. Ben looks pissed, whether it’s because you pushed Ben out of the way before or if it’s because he’s annoyed that Homelander punched him you’re not sure.

"What?" You look beyond him, to see Hughie and Butcher tackle Homelander to the ground.

They're going to try to turn him human.

"I can hold him down-" You say. “Let me help.”

"No." Ben snarls as he stalks towards Homelander, his chest beginning to glow.

“Ben-“

“Stay the fuck there.” Ben shouts still looking at Homelander.

Your eyes flit to the leader of the Seven. Watching him struggle against Hughie and Butcher, who yell at one another, but you don’t hear them. You wait for the remorse to crash over you, the guilt, but it never comes.

I gave him a choice. He could have run. He didn’t. He chose this.

And just when you think it’s all over, Homelander breaks away from them, surging up into the air to freedom. You feel your feet leave the ground to follow him, someone’s hand tightens on your ankle and drags you back down to earth.

“No.” Ben’s voice is more of a growl than anything else.

He’s angry, that much you can tell from the look on his face and from the way his eyes have hardened into two solid chunks of emerald as he locks eyes with you.

But why? Angry because Homelander got away or angry because I pushed him out of the way?

“Ben I can get him. Let me go.” You kick your ankle but Ben holds on.

“No.” Ben snarls. “You’re not about to go after that sick fuck by yourself.”

“Ben-“

“No. If I have to chain you to the ground I will.” Ben pulls you down further and releases your ankle to fasten his hand around you waist to hold you tighter against the ground. “You’re not going after him.”

“Fine.” You snap pulling yourself from his grasp, your own temper flaring.

You hated when Ben did that, when he acted like you weren’t just as capable as him of doing this. It reminded you of your childhood, when you were treated like you were made of glass, a pretty doll that was made to be looked at but never touched.

And you knew it came from Ben’s want to protect you, knew that it came from his fear of losing you, but that didn’t make it any less annoying.

You didn’t pout when Ben went out to face someone, didn’t try to act like he couldn’t do it.

“I know that maybe I’m a little behind but… WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?” Hughie shouts. “You have laser vision and you can fly and you can move things with your mind!?” He looks frantically from you to Ben.

You don’t answer, your eyes are still on Ben who looks ready to throw Butcher’s car into space. You could practically see the waves of anger rolling off of him like a comic strip.

“You didn’t before, did you?” Butcher’s eyes trace your body as things begin to click into place. “You didn’t before he killed you.”

“Hold on.” Hughie holds up his hand. “Are you telling me that you die and you come back to life WITH THE POWERS OF THE SUPE THAT KILLED YOU?”

“It wasn’t in the files.” Butcher’s eyes still haven’t left you. “Vought didn’t know did they?”

You don’t like the way he’s looking at you, don’t like the glimmer in his eyes as if you’d just solved all his problems. It was the exact look that was in the eyes of the scientists the day you took the serum for the first time. To them that’s all Ben and you were, lab rats, people who were stupid enough to listen to the wild ideas of glory and a better world they spouted.

“We should go.” You murmur, listening to the sounds of the ambulances and the police coming up the driveway. “It’s about to be a circus here and I'd rather not make my big social media debut covered in rubble and blood."

Ben’s mouth is clamped together, green eyes blazing at your mention of blood. You knew that he was focused on the bloody hole left behind in the corset where Homelander's laser had ripped through your body.

Another scar, another fun story to tell my daughter when I see her… great.

*****************************************

The car ride to Legend’s is dead silent. Ben doesn’t look at you, doesn’t try to hold your hand, and doesn’t try to touch you in any way. Instead his hands are curled into fists, sitting on the tops of his thighs while his anger heats the inside of the car like a furnace. You knew it was only a matter until he exploded, but now you had bigger things on your mind.

You had just exposed yourself to Homelander, showed your face to him, not to mention you admitted to being Indigo. It would be easy for him to find your real name in the Vought archives find your file and the same name that linked you to Rosemary. She’d gone back to her maiden name when her husband died, which meant the two of you had the same last name and it wouldn’t be difficult for Homelander to find her.

Which meant you needed to get to her first.

You had tried to text her, tried to tell her to have a bag ready and that you were going to pick her up, but she was refusing to do so and you didn’t exactly want to text “Homelander is a fucking psychopath and he’s going to come after you” to her phone. Plus you couldn’t exactly call her, not in this cramped car.

Legend is waiting on the front porch of his country home when Butcher pulls his car into the end of the long driveway, somewhere that you’d been to many times in the past. He's smoking a joint and scrolling through his phone, wearing the same outfit you had seen him in a few days ago.

"Kitten!" He smiles wide at you when he sees you and pulls you into a hug. “I was worried when I heard about that mess with Countess. You never called.” Legend frowns at you, blowing out a lungful of smoke. "Guess you guys had a talk."

"Something like that." You frown. "It got complicated really fast."

“I told you so.” His eyes shift to where Ben is glowering a foot behind you. "I see he found you. I didn't tell him-"

"I know you didn't. Thank you for keeping your promise." You smile tightly, squeezing Legend's hand. He really was a good friend. One of the oldest ones you had besides Ben.

"Figured if I did, you'd keep him from ripping my head off."

“Haven’t decided if I’m not going to yet.” Ben snarls and Legend's eyes widen in fear.

But you knew that he was just redirecting his anger. Ben was angry because you put yourself in harms way to protect him and the sooner you had it out, the sooner you could go get Rosemary and Lou.

"Ben we both know that you're not mad at Legend, you're mad at me. So you might as well spit it out, because we've got bigger problems than your hissy fit-" You begin to say. You were sick of him pouting, refusing to look at you, refusing to touch you.

"What the FUCK were you thinking?!" Ben roars towering over you, eyes flashing. "Getting between me and him like that!"

Legend backs away, afraid that he's going to get caught in the cross-fire.

"Calm down." You sigh, gritting your teeth together. You were trying your best not to lose it either, because the last thing this situation needed was you losing control.

"DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN." Ben's hands are clenched tightly into fists, his suit beginning to glow bright.

"You're going to have to calm down or you're going to blast me to kingdom come!" You snap back.

Ben grits his teeth together and closes his eyes tightly while his chest begins to fade back to normal and when it does, he opens his eyes to glare at you. "Why did you do that? I had him handled-"

"You didn't."

"Yes I did. You didn't give me a chance to-"

"No what I did was I didn't give that psychopath a chance to punch a hole through your chest with his fucking laser vision." You poke him in the chest. "Of the two of us, I have a greater chance of surviving that!”

By then Butcher and Hughie had moved to give the two of you a wide berth, standing where Legend was watching the two of you looking bored. They were probably hoping that you didn’t cut one of them in half with your new powers.

"Are they always like this?" You hear Butcher ask Legend from where they stand a safe distance away.

"Pretty much." Legend answers, blowing out a puff of the fowl smelling smoke.

"Do you ever get used to it?" Hughie mutters.

"Nope."

“Is there an off button?” Butcher sighs.

“Nope.” Legend puffs his joint.

"You don't know that!" Ben spits back at you. "I could have!"

"I wasn't willing to take that chance damnit!"

How can I make him understand this? How can he finally understand what it would be like for me to lose him all over again, just when I got him back?

"Do you really think that I'm willing to play Russian Roulette with your life?" Ben snarls, grabbing you by the shoulders so tightly you're sure they'll be bruises but all you can do is look into his quickly darkening eyes. "Do you have any idea what it did to me to see you die AGAIN? To see him TOUCH YOU? To know that he HURT you?"

"We've already had this conversation Ben-"

"And we're going to fucking have it again!" His grip tightens. "I told you to stay behind me!"

The last time he'd touched you like this was the night of the premiere, when he told you that he didn't care about you, that he could never love you. The memory of that night lodges itself in the back of your throat, but you keep it down.

"And I told you that I wasn't going to do that!"

"Damn it y/n you can't-"

You pull yourself away from him. "No Ben. You can't tell me what to do. You don't get to control me. People have tried to control me all my damn life and when I first came with you I thought I was giving that up. But no, I just moved on and Vought took over. When I decided to live my own life, to stop being a supe, I was free! Finally! After forty years of bullshit I was finally free!"

Ben’s jaw is so tightly locked together you think you hear the grinding of his teeth. “So what are you saying? Are you saying that when you’re with me you feel trapped? Like I’m holding you fucking hostage?!”

“No.” You exhale heavily. "I understand that you love me. I understand that you want to protect me. But you need to understand that I love you too. That just as you're willing to lay down your life for me, I am willing to lay down my life for you. And if you want this to work between us, you need to understand that you don't control me. You're not my dad or my owner, you're the man I love. And until you realize that I am just as capable of protecting you as you are protecting me-"

"I know that." Ben seethes.

"What?"

"Do you really think that I don't see how strong you are?” You watch something flash in his eyes that isn't anger, the vulnerable look is back for a fleeting moment and it rocks you to your core. "I don’t want to control you! I’m not trying to. Have you thought that maybe after all this time I just wanted you to need me like I need you?"

His confession makes your heart stop. Does he really think that I don’t need him? That after all these years there’s no one else that I’ve needed more in my entire life?

“Ben.” You sigh while stretching out your hand to lay against his arm, but he flinches away. “ I do need you. You have no idea how much I need you, no idea what it did to me when I lost you even after everything that happened. I just don’t want you to treat me like I’m made of glass.”

“I don’t treat you like you’re-“ He begins to say.

“Yes. You do. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to protect me, but you have to understand that I want to protect you too.”

He huffs out a breath, shoulders tensed, arms crossed over his muscular chest. “I do understand that. I just hate it when you do that, that you push me out of the way. I hate when you get hurt.”

“And I hate when you get hurt." You bite the inside of your cheek. "You say that you were angry that Homelander hurt me, but did you stop to consider what it did to me to see him try to hurt you? Do you know what it did to me to see him touch you?”

Ben stands there for a minute glaring down at you, before his gaze begins to soften. “No.” He grumbles.

“Exactly.”

You both stand there for a minute eyeing one another, daring the other to break the silence.

This is ridiculous.

Finally Ben, sighs out a breath and jerks you forward against his chest. The hug would be bone crushing for anyone else, but not to you.

“You’re so fucking annoying.” He mutters into the top of your head, while his body curves around yours.

“I love you too asshole.” You huff, hugging him back just as tight.

“See they always work it out.” Legend shrugs at Butcher. “Takes them a while to get there. They made my job so much harder in the 70’s. Though I will say it’s a relief that they’re finally admitting they love each other. Way too much sexual tension before, gave me anxiety.”

Ben pulls back to look at your face with another loud sigh. He still looks a little angry, but not angry enough to start shouting again. His thumb strokes against your cheek. “Are you okay?”

You nod once leaning into his touch. “Are you?” You brush back some of his dark hair out of his face, looking for bruises but you don’t see any.

“Yeah.” He nods.

“If the two of you are done, we have bigger things to worry about-“ Butcher begins to say.

“We are and we do.” You interrupt looking away from Ben to stare at Butcher. “I need to borrow your car.”

“Why?”

“I need to go back to the city.”

“What?” Ben sputters releasing you from his grasp.

“And I think it would be better if I went alone-“ You continue slowly.

Honestly you did think that it would be better if you went alone, but you didn’t want to. You wanted Ben to come with you, the problem was Rosemary.

“Like hell I’m letting you go alone with that son of a bitch flying around!” Ben shouts, temper flaring again.

“Which is why I have to go.” You try to say it diplomatically, try to have him understand without having to explain it. But there’s really no way around it, around any of this.

“No.”

“Ben please c-"

“Don’t tell me to calm down again! I’m not being crazy. You’re not going after him!” His eyes blaze a brilliant green, as he crosses his hands over his chest.

“Ben-“

“Why can’t you listen to me for once?”

“BEN!” You shout, grabbing his face and holding his cheeks between your palms to catch his attention.

“What?” Ben’s eyes lock with yours.

“I’m not going to the city to go after Homelander.”

He pauses confused. “Then why are you-“

And you just can’t take it anymore. You can’t hold it in any longer, can’t think of a way to tell him without just ripping the bandaid off. Your eyes meet his, apologetic, determined, and just a little bit fearful.

“I’m going back into the city to get our daughter.”

*****************************************************

A/N: I know I know, it's been a while and honestly I didn't mean to get hit by writer's block this bad 😂😭

But it kinda works out, because what better way to celebrate Father's Day than to tell Soldier Boy that he's a dad?

As always thank you so much for reading! There are big things coming! And thank so much for the love and support! If you'd like to be added to the taglist please let me know :)

Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303 @deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs @bughill126 @simplyfixated @sleepjam @tiredstrangerr @freefallthoughts @onlyangel-444 @lov3vivian @mxltifxnd0m @mayafatimakhan @marvel-mistress @my-obsession-spn @lifeonawhim @soldirboy @liuope @brynanna @carpenterswife @xxannyxx @babyinatrench-coat1 @the-gentle-spirit @valryomen @cassieriddle713 @shaggzthatsnottheworm @lil-soup @ej13928 @topstory21 @boywivlove @mrsjenniferwinchester @vivre-dans-la-nuit @megara0224 @daisy-the-quake @thesilmarillionblog @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @libby99hb @peachhiz @tinydancer40

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lila-lou · 4 months

Text

✨ His only exception - Pt. 9/? ✨

Summary: 12 months ago, Butcher went above and beyond to have you join his team. You had a simple office job at Supe Affairs. The same thing every day, working from 9 to 5 and watching Butcher and his team defeat one renegade after another. One evening, however, something changed.

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader

Warnings: Language, Soldier Boy being a dick, mind games, teasing

Word Count: 4119

A/N: This is part 9 of “His only exeption”.

English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

You squirmed beneath his touch, a mixture of desire and apprehension coursing through you as you struggled to maintain your composure.

But just as he was about to proceed, something in him seemed to shift. With a furrowed brow, Ben looked up at you, his gaze clouded with uncertainty as he took in the impact of the alcohol on your demeanor.

He knew that if he were to go any further, you wouldn't remember a thing in the morning.

For a moment, there was silence between you, the weight of the decision hanging heavy in the air. And then, with a heavy sigh, Ben reluctantly pulled away, a flicker of remorse crossing his features.

"Not tonight, princess", he muttered, his voice tinged with regret. "You deserve better than this".

And with that, he gently pulled your panties back up, covering your exposed skin with a tenderness that belied his usual demeanor.

Though a part of him longed to give in to his baser instincts, he couldn't bring himself to take advantage of you in your vulnerable state. With anyone else yes, but not with you.

As Ben laid down next to you, his expression hardened once more as he tried to maintain his usual facade. You, already halfway passed out from the effects of the alcohol, slurred your words as you turned to him with bleary eyes.

"Why won't you sleep with me, Ben?", you asked, your voice a mixture of confusion and longing.

Ben's jaw clenched visibly at your question, his frustration simmering just beneath the surface.

"Because, princess", he replied, his tone cold and dismissive. "I don't waste my time on inexperienced girls like you". He still needed to keep his walls up, don’t show too much emotions.

Your brows furrowed in confusion, the alcohol dulling your senses and making it difficult to comprehend his words. "But I want you", you protested weakly, reaching out to touch his arm.

“You don't know what you want", he sighted. "You're drunk".

Ben's words cut through the haze of alcohol, sobering you up for a moment as you processed his harsh rejection. Despite the alcohol coursing through your veins, a pang of hurt pierced through your foggy mind at his callous dismissal.

"I do know what I want", you insisted, your voice trembling with emotion as you struggled to sit up. "I want you, Ben"

But Ben remained unmoved, his expression stoic as he refused to meet your gaze. "No, you don't know what you want," he repeated, his tone tinged with frustration. "You're drunk, and I'm not interested in being your mistake".

With a heavy heart, you sank back onto the bed, the weight of his rejection settling over you like a suffocating blanket.

As you lay asleep beside him, lost in the depths of intoxication, Ben couldn’t help but steal a glance in your direction. His gaze lingered on your peaceful features, softened by sleep, before reluctantly shifting to his own body, where a massive boner strained against the fabric of his sweatpants.

With a heavy sigh, Ben muttered to himself, his frustration palpable in the air. “God, it’s hard—literally—to be the good guy for once”.

Despite his inner turmoil, he couldn’t deny the surge of arousal coursing through him at the sight of you, vulnerable and trusting in your slumber. With a conflicted expression, he reached out to brush a stray lock of hair from your face. “You’ll thank me tomorrow”, he murmured.

And with that, Ben settled back against the pillows, his gaze fixed on the ceiling as he struggled to quiet his thoughts. For once, he had chosen to be the better man, to resist the temptation that beckoned him with every breath. As he lay there, wrestling with his desires and his conscience, he couldn't help but hope that perhaps, you would see him in a different light.

But for now, all he could do was wait and wonder what tomorrow would bring, and whether his decision to resist the pull of temptation would ultimately be worth it in the end.

As the morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, you stirred from your slumber, a dull ache pulsing behind your temples. Blinking away the sleep, you glanced around the room, your heart skipping a beat when you spotted Ben's naked back turned towards you.

Panic surged through you as you realized the situation. Memories of the previous night flooded back, hazy and disjointed, as you struggled to piece together what had happened. And then, as you shifted beneath the covers, you felt the cool air against your skin and glanced down to see that you were wearing nothing but your panties.

Your breath caught in your throat as the reality of the situation sank in, the panic rising within you like a tidal wave. Hastily, you scrambled to cover yourself, pulling the sheets up to your chin as you desperately tried to make sense of the chaos unfolding around you.

With a pounding heart and a mind reeling with confusion, you couldn't help but wonder what had transpired between you and Ben. And as the memories began to slowly piece themselves together, you couldn't shake the sinking feeling that perhaps, you had made a mistake that you would come to regret.

As Ben groaned and slowly turned towards you, his eyes fluttered open, meeting yours with a sleepy gaze. Instantly, he sensed the panic radiating from you and couldn't resist the urge to tease you, at least for a little while longer.

"Morning, princess", he said, his voice husky with sleep as he stretched languidly. "Sleep well?".

Your heart raced as you searched his expression for any hint of what had happened between you the night before, but all you found was amusement dancing in his eyes.

"I, uh...", you stammered, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment as you struggled to find the right words. "I don't really remember much".

Ben chuckled softly, the sound sending a shiver down your spine. "Well, that's a shame", he replied, his tone teasing. "You were quite the handful last night".

You felt a knot form in your stomach as you braced yourself for what was to come.

Ben couldn't resist the opportunity to tease you further, his lips curling into a playful smirk as he spoke.

"You know, (Y/N)”, he began, his tone light and teasing, "I didn't realize you were a virgin".

Your eyes widened in shock at his words, a blush creeping across your cheeks as you struggled to process what he was saying.

As Ben's words sank in, a wave of shame washed over you, and your heart sank like a stone in your chest. The realization hit you like a punch to the gut.

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you grappled with the weight of the misunderstanding. How could you have let this happen? How could you have been so careless?

"I...I didn't want...", you started, your voice choked with emotion as you struggled to articulate the turmoil raging within you.

But Ben, oblivious to your distress, continued to jest, his tone light and indifferent. "Hey, no need to get all worked up about it", he interjected, his smirk widening. "We both had a good time, right?".

His words cut you like a knife.

As Ben’s teasing words continued to echo in your mind, you felt a surge of anguish and anger bubbling up within you. How could he be so flippant about something so significant? Didn’t he understand the gravity of the situation?

“I can’t believe you”, you muttered, your voice trembling with emotion as you turned to face him, your eyes ablaze with indignation. “You really think it’s funny, don’t you? To just take what you want without a second thought?”.

Ben's smirk widened, his eyes glinting with amusement as he reveled in your discomfort. "Come on, sweetheart", he taunted, his tone dripping with mockery. "You can't deny you enjoyed it. You took me like a champ, even with how big I am".

The realization sinking in that you couldn't even remember your first time.

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it", he continued. "You'll thank me later for showing you a good time".

Fueled by a mix of anger and hurt, you shot Ben a withering glare, your fists clenched at your sides.

"Fuck you, Ben", you spat, your voice trembling with emotion. "I hope you rot in hell".

With that, you stormed out of the room, the door slamming shut behind you with a resounding thud. Ben's laughter echoed in the empty room.

"Well, princess", he called after you, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "That's no way to talk to the man who just took your virginity".

His words hit you like a slap in the face, a fresh wave of anger washing over you as you fought to hold back tears.

Ben chuckled to himself, relishing in the chaos he had caused, before slowly getting out of bed. His smirk remained firmly in place as he stretched languidly, the events of the previous night already fading into the recesses of his mind.

Meanwhile, you retreated to the bathroom, your heart heavy with the weight of Ben's behavior. The hot water spilling over you, washing away the physical and emotional residue of the night before. But no matter how hard you scrubbed, you couldn't shake the feeling that you had been used.

As the steam filled the small confines of the bathroom, you closed your eyes and allowed yourself to wallow in your misery, the tears mingling with the water cascading down your face.

It took you a few minutes to regain your composure.

But eventually, with resolve in your heart, you refused to let Ben's presence intimidate you. You emerged from the bathroom with wet hair, a defiant expression etched upon your face.

As you made your way to the porch where Ben sat, eating breakfast that the staff had brought him, you ignored the prickling sensation of his gaze upon you.

Ben's smirk greeted you as you approached, his eyes gleaming with amusement at your disheveled appearance. But you refused to let his taunting affect you, instead meeting his gaze with a steely resolve of your own.

Without a word, you took a seat opposite him, the air between you heavy with unspoken tension. Though his presence still irked you to no end, you refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cower.

But beneath the veneer of amusement, there was something else lurking in his gaze—a glimmer of curiosity, perhaps, or maybe even a hint of respect.

As you picked at your own breakfast, the silence between you stretched on, punctuated only by the distant sound of crashing waves and the occasional chirping of birds.

"So, how does it feel?", he quipped. "Now that you're not a virgin anymore?".

Before you could respond, Ben's gaze drifted down to your chest, his eyes lingering on your breasts with a hunger that made your skin crawl.

"I must say, sweetheart", he continued, his voice low and suggestive. "Your body certainly didn't disappoint. Especially those tits of yours".

Ben's teasing continued unabated, his words like daggers slicing through the fragile armor you had erected around your heart.

With each jest, the weight of his mockery grew heavier, until it became almost unbearable.

"Aw, princess, don't tell me you're getting emotional on me", he taunted.

"I thought you were tougher than that".

His words only served to fuel the storm of emotions brewing within you, and before you knew it, tears began to prick at the corners of your eyes. Blinking furiously, you struggled to hold them back, to maintain some semblance of dignity in the face of Ben's relentless onslaught.

"I...I just wanted it to be special", you choked out, your voice barely above a whisper as you fought to articulate the jumble of thoughts and feelings swirling within you. "Not...not like this".

The vulnerability in your words hung heavy in the air.

Ben's smirk faltered for a moment, a flicker of something resembling remorse crossing his features. But before you could fully process the shift in his demeanor, it was gone, replaced once again by his trademark arrogance. "Come on, sweetheart”, he said, his voice softer now, though still tinged with mockery. "Don't be so dramatic. It's not like it's the end of the world".

His words cut through you like a knife, the sting of his callous indifference leaving you reeling. And as you sat there, tears streaming down your cheeks, you couldn't help but feel a sense of profound loss wash over you. Continue. Let Ben sight heavy, telling you, that the two of you can recreate last night, later that day. Winking at you. His words got you even more sad

Ben's heavy sigh filled the air, a palpable tension lingering between you as he spoke.

"Hey, it's not all bad", he said. "We can always recreate last night, you know. Make it special this time".

As the weight of your emotions hung heavy in the air, Ben finally seemed to register the depth of your hurt. His smirk faded, replaced by a fleeting look of concern that quickly vanished behind a mask of indifference.

“Hey, stop crying”, he mumbled.

After all you crying was the last thing he wanted to see. But despite his half-hearted attempt at compassion, you couldn’t shake the feeling that his concern was more for appearances than genuine care.

His words felt hollow, like a bandage over a gaping wound that refused to heal.

“I’m fine”, you muttered, your voice barely above a whisper as you avoided his gaze.

“C´mon on, sweetheart”, he urged, his tone bordering on impatient. “Eat something. We’ve got a long day ahead of us”. The mention of his plans of getting some weed and stuff, pushing aside your own pain for the time being.

As the days passed, the initial sting of betrayal began to fade, replaced by a sense of resignation and acceptance. While part of you still harbored resentment towards Ben for his role in the events that had happened, you couldn't deny that ultimately, it was your own choices that had led you down this path.

Tonight, as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow over the beach house, you and Ben sat on the porch, sharing a pizza in silence. The tension that had hung heavy between you had dissipated, replaced by a sense of weary camaraderie.

As you took a bite of pizza, savoring the familiar flavors, you couldn't help but steal a glance at Ben. Despite everything that had happened between you, there was a part of you that still longed for something else.

"Damn, I'm fucking horny", he muttered after a while, reclining back in his sun lounger. His bronzed body glistened with droplets of water from a recent dip in the ocean, the fading sunlight casting a golden glow over his features.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes at his blatant display of lust, though a small smirk tugged at the corners of your lips.

"Always the charmer, aren't you?", you teased, taking another bite of pizza.

Ben chuckled, the sound rich and throaty in the evening air. "Hey, can you blame me?", he retorted, a mischievous glint in his eye. "It's not every day I get to spend time with such a hot companion".

Despite yourself, you felt a blush creep into your cheeks at his compliment, a warmth spreading through you at the unexpected praise.

"Flattery will get you nowhere”, you replied, though the teasing lilt in your voice betrayed the amusement you felt.

As the evening unfolded, the comfortable atmosphere between you and Ben gave way to a moment of vulnerability.

With a shy glance away from him, you found yourself asking a question you never thought you would.

"Um, Ben", you began, your voice hesitant as you struggled to find the right words. "I know this might sound strange, but...do you think, maybe, you could...sleep with me tonight?".

Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment as you waited for his response, unsure of how he would react to your sudden request. Ben's reaction was immediate, his whiskey momentarily forgotten as he visibly choked on his drink.

His eyes widened slightly in surprise, a mixture of shock and uncertainty flickering across his features. "You...you want to sleep with me?", he asked, his voice tinged with disbelief as he tried to process your request.

You nodded, unable to meet his gaze as you felt a surge of self-doubt wash over you.

"I mean, it's just...I can't remember my first time", you admitted. "And since you...you already took my virginity, I figured it wouldn't...damage more than it already does".

The words hung heavy in the air between you, the weight of your confession echoing in the silence that followed. And as you waited for Ben's response, a part of you couldn't help but wonder if perhaps, just perhaps, this was a mistake.

Ben sighed, a hint of frustration tainting his words as he prepared to come clean.

“Look, sweetheart”, he began.

You glanced up, apprehension flickering in your eyes as you waited for him to continue.

“I didn’t sleep with you that night”, Ben confessed, his gaze flickering away as if unable to meet your eyes. “I know it might seem like I did, but I didn’t”.

His admission hung in the air, as you struggled to process his words.

“What do you mean?”, you asked, your voice tinged with a mixture of confusion and disbelief.

He knew that this was his second chance to finally get you, but even he’s a dick, he won’t ruin your first time, especially after you showed him how important it is to you.

Ben took a deep breath, steeling himself for your reaction. "I mean, I didn't want to take advantage of you", he explained. "You were wasted, and I didn't want your first time to be like that".

You blinked, the weight of his words sinking in as you realized the depth of his restraint. Despite his flaws, Ben had shown a surprising level of decency in choosing to protect you rather than succumb to his own needs.

"I'm a dick, but not that big of a dick", he added with a wry grin. "You deserved better than that, even if I'm not always the best at showing it".

As his words washed over you, a sense of gratitude welled up within you, mingling with a newfound respect for the complexities of his character.

"Thank you", you murmured and reached out to squeeze his hand. "For caring enough to do the right thing".

It took you a while to gather your thoughts, the weight of Ben's confession between you. But eventually, you turned to him again, your voice steady as you posed the question that had been weighing on your mind.

"Ben, do you want to take my offer or not?", you asked, your tone tinged with determination.

Ben raised an eyebrow, his expression incredulous as he processed your words. "Why the fuck would you want me, of all people, to be your first?", he blurted out, his tone laced with a mixture of confusion and disbelief.

You took a deep breath as you prepared to lay bare your thoughts and feelings. "Because", you began, your voice steady despite the uncertainty. "Despite everything, I trust you. I know you're not perfect, but you've shown me that you care, in your own way. And maybe...maybe that's enough".

A heavy silence settled over the porch, the weight of your confession mingling with the fading light of the evening.

Ben listened to your words: He ran a hand through his hair, his expression troubled as he struggled to find the right words to respond.

"Listen, sweetheart"; he began, his voice tinged with uncertainty. "I appreciate the sentiment, I really do. But I'm absolutely not the right man for something like this".

As Ben's words sank in, a sense of determination welled up within you, fueled by the realization that you were willing to take a chance, despite the risks. You stood up, feeling the weight of your conviction settling over you as you made your way over to where Ben sat on the lounge chair.

Sitting beside him, you met his gaze, your eyes locking with his as you searched for any hint of doubt in his expression.

"Ben", you began, your voice steady despite the flutter of nerves in your chest. "I understand that you're hesitant, but I want this. I want you".

His expression remained guarded, a hint of skepticism in his eyes as he regarded you. "You think you can handle me?", he scoffed. "I'm not exactly the type to play nice, sweetheart. You wouldn't last a minute with me".

You bristled at his dismissive tone, refusing to back down. "I'm not some delicate flower, Ben. I'm stronger than you think".

“Why settle for someone like me when you could wait for some little boyfriend to come along and fuck you to sleep with some romantic music?”, he challenged, his words laced with a hint of mockery.

“Because I don’t need some fantasy to make this meaningful”, you shot back. “I want this with you, Ben. I trust you”.

His expression softened slightly at your words, a flicker of surprise crossing his features. “You trust me?”, he echoed, his tone tinged with disbelief. You nodded, meeting his gaze with unwavering determination.

“I do”, you affirmed, your voice filled with conviction.

“And what if I can’t do it your way?”, he raised his eyebrow. “What if I end up hurting you? You think you can handle that?”.

You met his gaze, steeling yourself against the doubt in his eyes. Despite his dismissive tone, you remained resolute in your conviction.

“I trust you to figure it out”, you replied. “I know you won’t intentionally hurt me, Ben. And if, I’ll deal with it”.

Ben regarded you with a skeptical eye, his lips twisting into a smirk of disbelief.

“You’re awfully confident for someone who’s never been with a real man”, he mumbled.

"I know what I want", you shot back, your voice firm. "And I'm not afraid to go after it, even if it means taking a risk with you".

Ben's smirk only widened, a flicker of amusement dancing in his eyes. "Well, princess", he drawled. "If you're so sure about this, then I'll play along. But don't say I didn't warn you".

Despite his condescending tone, you couldn't help but feel a surge of satisfaction at having finally convinced him to give you a chance.

Ben finished his drink with a dismissive scoff, the hint of a smirk playing on his lips. "Don't expect me to hold your hand through this", he remarked, his tone tinged with condescension. "You wanted it, now you're getting it".

Standing up, he cast a sidelong glance at you, his expression smug as he whistled casually. "Bedroom", he nodded towards the direction, his meaning clear.

Your eyes widened at his directness, caught off guard by his bluntness. "Now?", you asked, your voice tinged with a mix of anticipation and uncertainty.

Ben rolled his eyes, his impatience evident. "Yes, now", he replied, his tone dripping with annoyance. "Unless you've changed your mind, princess".

With a hint of challenge in his gaze, he gestured towards the bedroom once more, leaving the choice in your hands.

As nervous anticipation flooded through you, uncertainty clouded your thoughts.

You weren't sure how to act or what to expect as Ben's blunt directive hung in the air.

Sensing your hesitation, Ben's smirk widened, a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"Relax, sweetheart", he grinned. "I'll show you what you've been missing".

With a swift movement, he reached out and grabbed your hand, his touch sending a jolt of electricity coursing through you. Pushing you softly by your shoulders towards the bedroom.

As Ben guided you towards the bedroom with a firm yet gentle grip, you felt a rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins.

His confident demeanor both intimidated and excited you, leaving you eager to see what the night would bring.

As you entered the dimly lit room, Ben turned to face you, his smirk still in place.

"Now that we're here, princess, no turning back", he remarked.

You swallowed nervously, the weight of his words sinking in as you tried to quell the fluttering in your stomach.

"I know", you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

Ben's smirk widened as he closed the distance between you, his eyes alight with mischief. "Good", he murmured, his breath warm against your ear. "Because once we start, there's no stopping".

———————————

A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰

Part 10

Taglist: @deangirl96, @thatgirljayy, @suckitands33, @deans-spinster-witch @mimaria420 @kaz11283 @uncle-eggy @jackles010378 @vxnilla-hxrddrugs

#jensen ackles #soldier boy #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x y/n #the boys #ben x reader

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