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soramei · 3 years

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Intentional - Part 1

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader (she/her)

Summary: Landing your first real job at JYPE was something short of a miracle. You were prepared to face the new struggles of this elusive career whilst moving to a new country, however, nothing could have prepared you for him. Will stolen glances, secret touches, and hushed nights spent in the recording room ever be enough for the both of you?

Genre: idol!bang chan au, forbidden relationship, coworkers to eventual lovers, slow burn

Warnings: none right now, eventual smut,

Word Count: 7.3k

Masterlist

A/N: hey yall this is my first ff im posting on tumblr :D im kinda scared to post but i hope anybody who stumbles on lil ol’ me will join me along the way :) also important!!! i made oc/reader asian cus i am lol (and this whole thing is basically a glorified self insert) so plz keep this in mind when reading!! oh god i didnt realize how slow this first part was sry...

The cold silence of the room felt like stabs at your inside. You commanded your feet to stop bouncing up and down as you unconsciously started to bite off the dead skin of your bottom lip. The white corporate light from above reflected off your brand new lanyard hanging delicately from your neck. You felt the coarse blue fabric rub against your neck as you mindlessly fiddled with your lanyard; the newly printed photo of your face stared back at you with a smile.

The creak of the door to your left was what broke you from your nervous fidgets. Whipping your head up from your lanyard, you immediately stood up ready to bow to whoever came through that door.

It was a girl. She looked around the same age as you, if not older. Her attire was what gave her away. Her appearance essentially mirrored yours: hair tied back into a ponytail with a white blouse and black work pants. She also had the familiar blue ‘JYPE’ labeled strap hanging from her neck.

“Hello,” you spoke meekly, scared to disturb the cold silence that had a hold on the room you were in.

“Hello,” she replied. “My name is Choi Na-eun, I’m the new social media strategist intern and today is my first day.”

This is so relieving, you thought, another newbie to share the stress with me.

“This is my first day too,” you perked up, “I’ll be starting as the new junior Chinese marketing assistant.”

Getting the acceptance email from JYP Entertainment was definitely a high point in your life. The feeling of butterflies swarming your insides as you clicked the email open only to see your acceptance was immediately locked as a core memory. All the years of memorizing thousands of Korean and English vocabulary flashcards, the panic attacks before your finance exams, and the many, many late night coffee breaks were worth it the moment you received your first legitimate job offer, and from the esteemed JYP Entertainment company no less.

“Chinese marketing?” Na-eun asked. “So you aren’t from here, I take it.”

You shook your head. “I am from China. I completed my degree a while ago with a major in Language and a minor in Business. To be honest, I’ve done internships back home, but it’s been my dream to move to a new country.”

All of what you said was true. Up until now, your surroundings have never changed in all of your twenty-three years living. From the walk with your grandmother to daycare to the vast campus of your university, the view of your city has never changed. Your social circle stayed stagnant since you were able to talk and your love life was — for a lack of a better word — uneventful.

It wasn’t until the day you decided to start applying for careers outside your home country that you felt hopeful. Hopeful that you could find an escape from your inert lifestyle and escape the burnout and stress that has been building up over the years. And so, on a day when you were feeling unusually confident, you gathered up the courage and spent hours sending out applications to organizations all over Asia that pertained to your specific degree. The applications were mainly for small jobs at small companies, however, your strange spike of motivation gave you the confidence to apply to the everso esteemed JYP Entertainment located in Korea. Of course you knew about this company — you and your friends played songs by ‘Twice’ nonstop back in highschool — but you didn’t realize the full power that this company had on the entertainment market until you did your full research. To say that you thought you had no chance was an understatement. This application was so far of a reach that you purposefully forced your mind to erase all memory of even applying.

However, with your education, your work experience, and whatever tiny bit of luck you had, you somehow made it through the initial application process. Then the next. And the next. Then the interview. And now, you were nervously sitting in this white painted room with Na-eun, in a completely new country, waiting for your manager to come greet you.

“So you’re from China? You’ve got to teach me chinese sometime.” Na-eun smiled.

You giggled in return while nodding your head. You were relieved that you’ve met a potential friend so early in your career in this company. This was one of your big worries. With your social circle being so stagnant for the majority of your life back in China, you rarely had the opportunity to meet new people, much less make new friends.

You were about to inquire more into Na-eun’s life when the door to your left abruptly opened. In the blink of an eye, three new people strutted in — two women and one man. They seemed to be higher status than you and Na-eun judging by their attire. All three were styled in some type of blazer and dress pants and there was no lanyard to be found on any of them.

“Hello new employees,” the man greeted. Judging by his face, he looked to be in his late thirties at the least. His hair was styled back neatly and his lips slanted up, giving him a fox-like appearance. “I am Executive Manager Kim. Joined beside me on the left is Social Media Manager An and to my right is Marketing Manager Chen.”

Both you and Na-eun immediately stood up to bow and introduce yourselves.

“Hello. My name is Choi Na-eun, I’m the new social media strategist intern.” Na-eun said.

“Hello. My name is y/n, I’m the new junior Chinese marketing assistant.” You repeated after her, copying exactly what she said. You did not want to screw anything up on your first day, especially your first impression.

Manager Kim reached over to Na-eun, introducing himself and giving her a firm handshake. He then slowly moved over to you, and reached for your hand.

“Y/n,” he gave time for your name to settle on his tongue as he gave a sly smile. “You’re not from here, aren't you?”

You shook your head ‘no’. “No, sir. I’m from China where I studied language and business. I hope to do well here as the Chinese marketing assistant.” You replied, mentally cursing yourself for sounding so timid.

“I’m glad to hear,” Manager Kim chuckled, “I’m sure you’ll treat me and your other managers well.”

You felt an uncomfortable shiver pass through you as he brushed his thumb along your hand before letting go. This feeling was excused as nervousness, after all, this was your first day and your first time meeting your higher-ups.

You introduced yourself to Manager Chen, assuming that she would be the one you were to assist in your time here at JYPE. Judging by her last name, you presumed that she was Chinese as well.

“Forgive me for being so straight up Manager Chen, but are you Chinese?” You asked.

“That is alright, y/n,” she smiled, “I’m not. My Husband is, but I’ve lived in China for more than half my life. I don’t want to brag, but my mandarin has gotten proficient over the past decade or so.”

Proficient? It’s amazing. You thought. This first day was turning out better than you thought. Other than the weird feeling you received from Manager Kim, everything was turning out splendid. A potential friend and a manager that could speak your first language.

“Since it’s about noon right now,” Manager Kim took a look at his watch, “What do you all think about some lunch?”

The other managers nod their heads in agreement and gestures for you and Na-eun to follow them out of the waiting room you were in for so long.

The whole building seemed so clean. With every corner lit, by natural light or artificial light, you could clearly see that every room, every piece of furniture and decor had been purposefully placed. You couldn’t help but have a stupid look of awe plastered on your face as you mindlessly follow your superiors over to the cafeteria.

You turned your head over to Na-eun and gave her a tilt of the eyebrow, silently saying wow, this is where we work.

With the turn of a corner and several silent strides, your little group made it to the cafeteria.

The difference between your claustrophobic waiting room and this vast room was astonishing. With countless tables and romantic yellow lighting, this place almost resembled a five star restaurant. You’ve never seen a cafeteria as extravagant and clean as this before. However, to be fair, you’ve never had the experience of working with such a large corporation before.

The managers led you to the serving station where you grabbed yourself a tray and proceeded to spoon small portions of rice and side dishes onto your plate. This cuisine was different to what you were used to, but nonetheless looked delicious. You were prepared for the small cultural differences, especially with the food, but from everything you’ve witnessed so far, the culture shock would be easier to overcome than what you’ve anticipated.

“Have this soup y/n,” Manager Kim’s grating voice came from in front of you, interrupting your inner monologue. “It’s good for your complexion.”

As Manager Kim hands over the bowl of soup, you feel the sleeve of his blazer brush up against your shoulder, causing the pit of your stomach to drop.

First day nerves. That was what this feeling was. You thought.

You quietly thanked him with a small nod and walked briskly from the service line, trying to find where Na-eun went with the other two managers. Thankfully, they were just a step away and you quickly made your way over to the comfortable spot beside Na-eun. She gave you a small grin and you both followed your way to a table right in the middle of the room.

Soon, all five chairs of the table got filled and sounds of chopsticks tapping and scraping against plates and bowls filled your ears. An awkward silence dominates your table as you start to pick at your food.

“So,” Manager Chen cleared her throat, “after lunch I was thinking we should go to a meeting room and discuss Miss. Y/n’s role in our new project.”

“I was thinking the same for our new Intern Choi.” Manager An cut in, “What do you think, Manager Kim?”

“It all sounds good. I will be accompanying Manager Chen to her meeting room as I wish to also further discuss the preliminary steps for our project.” Manager Kim looked from Manager Chen over to you.

“Project?” You ask.

“We’ve had a very successful year with our idol groups and we wanted to ride this success and start marketing in China. Recently, we’ve noticed a very large and growing Chinese audience for this group. I’m sure you’re very curious now, however we can discuss further details once we are in the meeting room.” Manager Chen replies while taking a sip of the water in her glass.

Manager Chen appeared to be a very professional and respectable woman. With prominent collarbones and wide shoulders, she easily looked the part of a confident and adored manager. She needed minimal makeup to highlight her tall cheekbones, and even with a short heel on her feet she seemed to tower over you. However, her warm and comforting voice was what broke her intimidating demeanour. Just listening to her voice felt like you were back in your high school classroom with your favourite teacher explaining the motif of a sad love poem.

After some more awkward conversations mixed with a few work discussions, the five of you finished the delicious food on your trays.

“Please excuse me whilst I head to the restroom” Na-eun spoke up after your group finished clearing the table.

“Please excuse me as well.” You quickly followed, bowing as you both ventured off to the washrooms.

I should get her number so I’m not completely a loner in this place, you thought to yourself. And so, after a quick inner struggle to speak up, you finally decided to ask.

“Hey, should we exchange contacts? I don’t wanna look like the newbie eating in the cafeteria alone after today.” You chuckled.

“Totally!” Na-eun beamed. “I was actually thinking the same thing…”

And so, you both quickly exchanged each other's contact as you made your way to the restrooms.

The hall of the washrooms were narrow, hidden away from the main cafeteria. You walked in, deciding you only wanted to retouch your hair and makeup before your first official meeting. You carefully fix the loose hairs that somehow escaped the confines of your elastic and dab on a fresh layer of foundation before applying your lipstick which rubbed off while eating. Looking over at Na-eun, you see she’s quite in the zone redoing her mascara.

“Hey, I’ll just wait for you in the hall.” You said.

Na-eun gave you a disinterested nod back as she kept focusing on her mascara.

You walked to the end of the hall, leaned against the wall, and pulled out your phone. Smiling, you opened the virtual Tamagotchi app and saw your little friend staring back at you, bouncing up and down. The bundle of virtual pixels happily bounced as you fed and bathed it, making you happier in return. Playing this game, you were so entranced with your phone that the abrupt closing of the washroom doors broke you out of your hypnosis fast, causing you to flinch and drop your phone.

You looked up, only to see a brown haired man wearing a long sleeved black shirt. The hem of his sleeve fell, covering his hand as he bent down to pick up your phone. He stood back up, fully facing you now and you immediately recognized who he was. You weren’t a fool, of course you did all your research on the artists of JYPE before applying for the job. Looking down at you right now, holding your phone in his hand, was Bang Chan of Stray Kids.

The wispy tufts of his brown hair bounced over his forehead as he stepped over to you. He smiled, his dimple poking out of his cheek, and handed your phone back to you. “I think you dropped this.”

Blushing tomato red, you embarrassingly accepted the phone, trying not to make your shaking hands noticeable. It seemed like that failed, however, as you noticed him glance at your hands and dimple grow deeper.

“Thank you.” You meekly chirped and lowered your head, still in awe that you somehow bumped into a JYPE idol in the bathroom hallway of a cafeteria.

“It’s good that there’s no cracks.” Bang Chan said, looking in your eyes.

You looked back into his eyes. His smile never left his face, and you physically felt the warmth radiating off his body like rays from the sun. Some boring, objective part of your brain knew this interaction only lasted a fraction of a second, but you swore that time froze.

“Hyung!” A distant voice called.

Your trance was broken as Bang Chan looked over to the person calling his name. He turned back to you, politely bowed, and casually sauntered over to the man who called him.

What just happened? Your inner monologue ran, still trying to process the embarrassing interaction. The scent of his cologne lingered, swirling the atmosphere around your body.

Thankfully, you didn’t have too much time to dwell on this interaction as Na-eun finally opened the washroom doors and was making her way toward you.

You and Na-eun trailed behind the managers until you reached the set of elevators. It was there where you had to unfortunately separate from your comfort work buddy as she hopped in the elevator across from yours with Manager An. The other two managers led you to the elevator at the end and pressed the button for your destination floor. The ride in the elevator was silent. You stood there, fiddling with your nails.

Once the elevator gave the ding of arrival, the three of you headed down a hall where you presumed had the meeting room.

Manager Kim took a look at the watch on his wrist. “We are a minute late, everybody should be there already. Enter silently and respectfully.” He said in a stern voice.

You reached the frosted glass door of the meeting room and entered through the already opened door. The managers followed behind you with Manager Chen being the last one in and closing the door.

Your eyes widened at whom you saw.

There was Bang Chan, who sat in all his glory, staring right into your eyes with his mouth ajar. His shocked expression didn't last long, however, as he quickly composed himself to fit with the professional atmosphere of this room.

But why was he here? You thought. He’s an artist, isn’t this a management meeting?

Your inner monologue was broken by Manager Kim’s stern voice. “Y/n, why don’t you sit with me for today?” He asked with a slight tilt of the lips. His hand was hovering above your back, almost guiding you to the seat just right of the head chair.

Your heart rate quickened. There was no way that you could handle sitting right beside a high position manager on your first day. You barely knew what your duties entailed, you definitely could not handle the pressure of this seat today. You whipped your head around to look for Manager Chen. She was already sitting in her seat, looking like she was right at home.

“Manager Kim, if you don’t mind, I would like to sit in this position for today, '' a voice spoke up, “I have a lot of new ideas I’d like to share that are written in my notes.”

Bang Chan.

He paused a brief second, eyes switching between you and Manager Kim, and raised his iPad to show the screen filled with words.

“I don’t mind at all, go ahead.” Manager Kim monotonously replied. He then made his way to the head chair.

You looked over at Bang Chan, trying to subtly send the most grateful facial expression over to him. He returned your look, slightly grinning as his fingers tapped on the screen of his iPad and sat down to the right of Manager Kim. You looked over to see Manager Chen gesturing you to sit in the chair beside her and swiftly made your way over. At your seat, she handed you a notepad and pen, both adorned with the JYPE logo.

“Now, as of 1:02 p.m., September first, the meeting will officially begin.” Manager Kim clasped his hands together on top of the table. “As most of you already know, we are in the preliminary stages of planning a Chinese debut for our artist group ‘Stray Kids’. All we have right now is the estimated timeline, which is four months. We have a basic grasp of the concept we are working towards, however, as you all know, trends are always changing and growing. While we are working to create a new and original concept for Stray Kids, we also want the concept to gather as much audience reception as possible.”

Wow. That was a lot to take in. Your hands struggled to keep up with writing down what Manager Kim was saying. You knew this relatively new group was really starting to explode in the past year, but a debut in another country? This group must work really hard to even have the company consider a step as risky as this. So this is why Bang Chan is also involved in this meeting.

You peaked your head up from your notepad. Bang Chan sat across from you, one hand on his chin and the other one holding the pen to his tablet.

Manager Kim then carefully discussed the duties that each group in the room would take. Many of the jobs were directly involved with developing the concept itself, such as producing music, concept art, and theme development. Your pen never took a break from gliding on the notepad as you hurriedly jotted down everything that Manager Kim said.

Eventually, Manager Kim’s delegations moved to Manager Chen. “Manager Chen, I’ll let you take over from here.”

“Thank you Manager Kim,” Manager Chen cleared her throat. “While my main job here was to market Korean comebacks towards the Chinese audience, this new project changes things up a bit. Now, not only will I be in charge of marketing to the Chinese audience, but I will also be directly in charge of the concept itself. I will be working carefully with our team in China to monitor the trends which we can incorporate into our debut.

“This is my new assistant, y/n,” She turned and gestured to you. You politely nodded your head. “She will be gathering information on useful trends and reporting back to me, as well as some translating. Please report any ideas that you deem useful to her by the end of every week for her to sort through and deliver to me.”

You almost want to call Manager Chen crazy for giving you so much power, after all, you were only starting out as her assistant. Despite this, however, you were determined to go above and beyond with the new responsibilities given to you, after all, you knew that choosing to work in an organization as big as JYPE would take blood, sweat, and tears.

After some clarifications given by Manager Chen and a few more questions directed at her, Manager Kim took the reins back in his hands.

“Now, as I’m sure you all know, this is Bang Chan: the leader of Stray Kids. Although our management team is in charge of this debut, we like to include the opinions of artists whenever possible. He will make an appearance whenever he can and act as a representative of Stray Kids, sharing their ideas and opinions.” Manager Kim explained.

Bang Chan politely introduced himself, and quickly went on to express some concerns of his members. He made sure that each concern was answered thoroughly by Manager Kim before moving on to the next.

“As for our concept ideas,” Bang Chan’s soft brown eyes met yours, “will I have to report to y/n?”

You felt your ears redden.

“You could, yes,” Manager Kim straightened his back, “but if you find the weekly deadlines too much of a problem, you may just report to me or at any subsequent meeting.”

“No worries sir,” Bang Chan’s eyes lingered on yours for a fraction of a second more before grinning at Manager Kim, “I’m always punctual.”

The rest of the meeting consisted of more introductions and preliminary plans. After about an hour, everybody seemed satisfied with the contents of the meeting and were starting to pack up all their clutter on the table. You looked over at Manager Chen, silently asking what should I do next?

Manager Chen smiled. “Let's head to my floor. I can give you a quick tour, you can get settled at your desk. I have some paperwork that I’m almost done with; I’m sure you’ll have no problem finishing it for me.” She already was standing up and straightening over the creases of her jacket.

You stood up as well and followed behind Manager Chen like a lost baby duckling. You both made your way over to Manager Kim to bid farewell. You politely thanked him, said your goodbyes, and were about to leave when he stopped the two of you.

“Manager Chen, let’s go out for drinks tonight.” Manager Kim took a look at the intricate watch on his wrist. “With our whole team, of course. It’ll be a welcoming night and we can get to know the people on our team better.”

“That’s a great idea, Manager Kim,” Manager Chen nodded at his idea in approval. She turned on her iPad to quickly get a glimpse at her schedule. “What do you think y/n? Can you make it tonight? I know this is very last moment, but I think it’ll be a great opportunity for you to get to know your coworkers better.”

“I should be able to make it.” You definitely could make it. You had no plans anyways.

“Am I invited to this top secret party you’re all having?” A now very distinguishable voice came from behind you. Bang Chan stared at Manager Kim with a very mischievous expression.

“Would your manager allow it?” Manager Kim questioned, knitting his eyebrows.

“I’m on a diet, so I can’t drink alcohol or eat anything,” Bang Chan’s nose scrunched up in annoyance, “but I want to be as involved as I can. Just because I’m an idol doesn’t mean I can’t help behind the scenes as well.”

“Very well,” Manager Kim nodded with a fixed expression, “Let’s all meet at that restaurant about a block away west. I’ll go tell the others.” And with that, Manager Kim left you, Manager Chen, and Bang Chan to stand in awkward silence.

“Well,” Bang Chan cleared his throat and clapped his hands together, “I’ll get going as well to do some work now, but it was nice meeting the both of you.”

“You as well.” Manager Chen replied for the both of you and Bang Chan left soon after.

Manager Chen then led you to the elevators again and you headed up yet another few floors to reach your destination. You nervously fiddled with your hair as you silently waited behind your boss, looking up at the smooth lines of her blazer every few seconds. The elevator doors dinged, letting you know of its arrival. The two of you swiftly headed out the elevators and walked to what you presumed was Manager Chen’s office area. You kept following behind Manager Chen in silence before you stopped in front of a set of doors that looked identical to the ones at the previous meeting room. Manager Chen opened the doors for you, and you headed in.

You paused a step in, looking wide-eyed at the interior. The office was clean. A big glass desk sat right in the middle of the vast room in front of a huge set of windows. There were a couple of soft looking chairs placed right before the desk with a huge rug right underneath it. Over to your left, you spotted a water dispenser with a kettle right beside it. You stared at the room a bit longer before realizing you must have looked very stupid with that astonished look on your face.

“Is this your office, Manager Chen?” You asked.

“Yes. It seems that you like it,” She chuckled. You felt the heat rise to your ears.

“Since you’ll be working so close to me, I’m sure you’ll be happy to come here more often.”

“Thanks.” You awkwardly laughed. You blamed your bad response on the fact that you still weren’t familiar with the language, not your blatant awkwardness.

Manager Chen made her way over to her desk, picking up a small stack of papers. “These are some letters I’ve received from several designer companies in China. Since we are still in the very preliminary stages of this project, we would like to keep our options open for the stylists here.” She picks an annotated letter from the pile. “I’ve translated and created a summary of the main points of this letter. There are a few more left which I believe I can trust you with. Just do as I did with this letter and add the sample pictures along with it.”

You quickly complied, taking the stack of papers from her hands.

“I’ll show you to your new work space.” She led you out of your office and over to a cubicle that wasn’t too far away. It was considerably smaller compared to Manager Chen’s office, but you thought it had a certain coziness to it. Plus, working close to your coworkers could also boost your motivation. “Here is your desk, it’s not the most exciting thing, but you may bring photos or whatnot to decorate it. Now, I’ll let you settle in and get started on your work. You can meet me at my office around six, I can double check your work before we leave.”

You thanked her before she left and immediately got started on your work. You diligently translated the whole of the letters before picking out the main points that matched with Manager Chen’s example. After this was done, you included the photos that came with each letter and slipped them into their own cozy folder. This work was monotonous, sure, but it was something you needed on your hectic first day here.

You were so captivated by your work that you completely forgot about the time. The sun was starting to set, and you only remembered to look at the time after you tucked your last letter neatly in its folder. You briefly panicked, praying that you weren’t making your manager wait. Thankfully, it was only a quarter until six. You took the next fifteen minutes double checking your work, making sure to also check the time every once in a while. At exactly six, you left your desk and scurried over to the big doors of Manager Chen’s office.

Knocking a couple times, you waited patiently to be let in.

“Come in.”

You let yourself in, handing the papers to your manager, then sat quietly in one of the chairs before her desk, crossing your fingers together. You fiddled with your thumbs, patiently waiting for Manager Chen to speak up.

“Not bad, this is some decent work.” Manager Chen announced as soon as she finished glossing over your work. “I’ve noted some places that you can either fix or improve. I’ll scan them and hand you a copy tomorrow.”

You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding. A tidal wave of relief washed over you as you let yourself relax further into your chain. Not bad, this is some decent work. You proudly repeated this moment in your brain. Although you were disappointed with the mistakes that you let slip through, to get somewhat of a compliment on your first day meant a lot to you.

“Shall we get going now?” Manager Chen asked.

You grabbed your bag and stood up. “I’ll let you lead the way.”

_______

It seemed like all you were doing on your first day was following Manager Chen around like a lost puppy. The situation right now was no exception either, as you tried to copy her confident strides over to the restaurant a block down. You watched the busy rush hour streets and sidewalks fill with people, some people going home after a long day, some people going to party just like you.

Soon, after a few more minutes of walking, the both of you arrived at the small wooden doors of the restaurants. It seemed like the both of you were a bit late as Manager Kim was already waiting in front of the entrance with the rest of the team. Bang Chan was also there, head down looking at his phone.

“Sorry we’re late, have you been waiting for long?” Manager Chen somehow sounded confident despite making everybody wait on her.

Her voice seemed to have caught everybody’s attention. You watched as Bang Chan swiftly turned his head up from his phone, his eyes making contact with yours. You immediately focused your eyes somewhere else, trying to casually play off the fact that your eyes subconsciously drifted to him.

“We’ve only been waiting for a couple minutes.” Manager Kim gave a tight smile. “Let’s go in before you all get too cold.”

Your little group of around ten people slowly entered the doors, filling the restaurant. Manager Kim called over a waitress, signaling that you had ten people in your group, and let the waitress lead you all to a long wooden table.

The restaurant was nice, nothing too fancy, but that’s how you could tell the food was good. With dim lighting and tightly packed tables, it made you feel fuzzy and warm on the inside.

However, your thoughts on the restaurant were soon broken by a hand on your shoulder.

“Y/n, why don’t you sit with me?” Manager Kim’s lips curled up, “After all, this is a work gathering, how good of a boss would I be if I didn’t even treat my newest team member to a drink?”

Your brain was in shambles. You seriously didn’t feel comfortable sitting with him all night. However, the logical side of your brain was saying something different. He’s just being nice as a boss. You don’t know how people in this country act anyways, stop being paranoid.

It seemed like your inner turmoil was taking longer than necessary, as you heard another familiar voice speak up.

“Manager Kim-” Bang Chan called out.

“You don’t need to sit with me here, Bang Chan.” Manager Kim chuckled as he stared directly in Bang Chan’s eyes. “I’d rather not talk about work outside the office.”

You watched as Bang Chan’s eyebrows furrowed, looking back to you in reluctance. You smiled at him before turning your attention to Manager Kim. It was just one night, right? Plus, there’s no harm in establishing a good impression with your boss.

“I’ll sit with you, Manager Kim.” You smiled, “thanks for offering.”

And so, you took your seat next to Manager Kim at the table. Bang Chan, who was to your left, looked askance at Manager Kim for a brief second before his facial expression did a complete 180. His familiar, boy-ish smile was plastered on his face like it was the most natural thing.

When the menus came, everybody at the table — including you — started to order onslaughts of food and alcohol. After brief moments of casual chatter about topics such as the weather or how good the food was here, everything that was ordered arrived at your table.

You grabbed a can of beer and started sipping on it. You’ve drank before — of course — with your old friends at university, but it’s been at least a year since you last did. Better ease myself in. You thought.

However, your preconceived plans were ruined when a small glass of clear liquor got pushed in front of you.

“Y/n, surely you aren’t going to sip on that can all night.” The ends of Manager Kim’s lips curled up.

“Wasn’t planning to, sir.” You replied while tipping the glass up and into your mouth. The bitter liquid burned your throat as it went down. You took a moment to recollect your surroundings. Seems like your tolerance was higher than you thought.

“Bang Chan, do you not drink? Why not eat something then?” Manager Chen pointed to the food on the table.

“No can do ma’am, I’m on a strict diet. My manager would kill me.” Bang Chan pointed to his glass of water.

“In that case,” Manager Chen filled another glass, “Y/n, have another drink.” She slid the glass down the table in front of you.

You gladly accepted your second drink, downing the alcohol in one go. Your eyes instinctively squeezed together as you felt your throat burn. From the tips of your ears to the ends of your toes, your whole body felt warm and alive.

You lost track of the time. As your conversations got livelier, your head got fuzzier. You stopped counting your drinks after four, especially since so many people were eager to offer the new employee a drink. Although your vision was starting to blur, you could still think straight. I can still think, you thought to yourself, still — what a powerful buzz.

Your thoughts ran rampant in your mind as you stared at the lightbulb across the room. What a pretty light. So bright. Warm.

“Y/n.”

Was the light calling your name?

“Y/n!”

Your eyes focused again and snapped away from the lightbulb. Where was the voice coming from? You slowly turned your head. Bang Chan.

“Hi.” You smiled.

“Hi.” He smiled back. So bright. Warm. “It’s been hours and I haven’t even offered you a drink yet.”

You tried to focus your eyes on his face as he slid the glass over to you. One more drink wouldn’t hurt your buzz, right?

You gladly accepted, slowly moving your hand over to the glass to pick the clear liquid up. It went down in one go just like all the others.

Huh? Was this water?

You struggled to focus your eyes on the person who offered you the drink. “That was yummy.”

“I bet it was,” the talking blur chuckled, “How about another one?”

You nodded, then took the glass he slid towards you. It’s funny how water flows even when in a cup. Water. You needed to pee.

“Hey,” your words dragged out, “where’s uh, where’s the washroom?”

“Follow me. I’ll show you.” Manager Kim stood up and reached his hand out towards you. You didn’t want to take it, but it seemed like nobody was noticing his offer.

Reluctantly, you took his hand and stood up, only to stumble down again. Did your knees not want to listen?

“Whoa there, better hold on.” Manager Kim said.

“No, I can walk. I-I can walk.” You let go of Manager Kim and tried to focus all your brainpower on moving your feet in a straight line. This tactic only worked for a second, however, as your knees gave in and you stumbled down.

“It’s obvious that you can’t.” Manager Kim’s lips turned up. “It’s time for you to go home. I’ll take you back.”

What? No. You didn’t want Manager Kim to take you home, not after all the awkward events of today and the general vibe from him. You tried to express your thoughts, but nothing came out of your mouth.

“Manager Kim, you’ve been drinking!” Bang Chan’s voice came from some part of the room. “It’s not safe to drive, I’ll call a taxi for you.”

“What about Y/n here? I’ll get a taxi for us both.” Manager Kim said.

“I called my manager earlier to pick me up, we can drop her off along the way. It’s not a good idea to put two drunk people in a car. I’m completely sober right now, so let me do all the work.” Bang Chan grinned, patting Manager Kim on his shoulder.

“Is that what you want, Y/n?” Manager Kim glared.

You dizzily nodded.

“Alright. In that case, I can call my own taxi later.” Manager Kim grimaced.

“Stay safe, Manager Kim.” Bang Chan smiled. He turned to you. “My manager’s been waiting outside for a while now, do you want to leave now?”

You nodded. You tried to start walking again, but your damn knees just wouldn’t listen.

“Do you want to hold on to me?” Bang Chan knitted his brows together and held out an arm.

“I,” you slurred, “can walk.” You tried to start your feet again, only to end up stumbling down.

“I know you can,” Bang Chan said as he reached his hands out to stabilize you, “but — ah — I’m really tired after today. Can you hold on to my arm so I won’t fall out of exhaustion?”

You agreed to help him. Bang Chan waved to everybody still at the table before leading the two of you out to a black SUV. He allowed you to stumble your way in the back seats first before sliding in himself. He asked you for your address, which took many tries for you to accurately type it into his phone.

You leaned your head against the window, staring at passing blurred lights as Bang Chan’s manager started driving. Just being away from the loud and bright environment seemed to have cleared your head a little, but the pounding would not stop. You cursed yourself for being so irresponsible on your first day, especially because you were still alone in this new country.

“Hey,” you felt a gentle tap on your shoulder, “want some water?” You looked over to see Bang Chan holding out a plastic bottle with the lid screwed off.

You languidly reached your hand out for the bottle and gulped down as much water as you could in one breath before handing it back to him. The street lights started getting blurrier as you tried to fight exhaustion, the muscles in your eyelids starting to get more and more uncontrollable.

“Y/n.”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t fall asleep yet, we’re almost there. Ten more minutes.”

You couldn’t hear anything after that, however, as you felt your eyes give up on you and your body fall into a deep sleep.

“Y/n… Y/n.” A familiar voice called.

You fluttered your eyes open, your head pounding. Not knowing where you were, you surveyed your surroundings in a panic. It seemed as though you were in the back of a car… Parked outside of your apartment building?

“Hey, you’re finally awake.” Bang Chan’s voice entered your ear. It all came rushing back to you; the restaurant, the drinking, entering the SUV.

“How long have we been parked here?” Your groggy voice sounded inhuman. You had to clear your throat a couple times.

“It’s only been twenty or so minutes. I’m not allowed to leave the car, are you able to get home alone? I can ask my manager to go with you.” Bang Chan scratched the back of his neck.

“I should be fine.” You mumbled, a bit embarrassed to have fallen asleep in the car of a person you just met that day. This wasn’t even his car, it was his manager’s.

“Hey… can I put my number in your phone?” Bang Chan avoided your eyes. “Just so you can tell me when you get home.” He quickly added.

“Okay.” You awkwardly handed him your phone with your contacts already opened. He quickly typed his phone number in before handing it back to you.

“Text me when you get home. Remember to lock your door, okay?”

You thank both him and his manager before hurrying back to your apartment. Your head was still pounding unrelentlessly as you pressed the elevator button for your floor. The events of today were still unprocessed in your brain. You met a potential friend, which was a highlight. However, you also met two higher up managers and an actual idol, only to get hilariously drunk in the presence of. At least it’ll make a good story to tell my mom. You thought.

In no time, you made it in your apartment and locked the door behind you, remembering what Bang Chan told you in the car. You texted the new number in your phone.

Y/n: Hi. It’s y/n. I just entered my apartment.

Not even a minute later, your phone lit up, signaling a new text message.

Bang Chan: great!! remember to lock the doooor hahaha ( ◕ω◕✿ )

You subconsciously grin at your phone. Cute. Throwing your phone haphazardly on your bed, you begrudgingly began your night routine. After washing up and throwing on a random shirt from your closet, you fell on your bed ready to sleep. You were about to close your eyes when your phone lit up again with a ding. It was another text.

Bang Chan: Hey… Just so you know, if you ever feel unsafe around the office just tell me okay? I’ll always try to help you in whatever way I can.

#stray kids #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids fanfic #skz scenarios #skz imagines #bang chan #bang chan scenarios #bang chan imagines #bang chan fluff #bang chan angst #bang chan smut

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whatgaviiformes · 3 years

Text

Fic: Firefly’s Glow - Part 8/?

Chapter 1: Part 1 | Part 2 Chapter 2: Part 3 | Part 4 Chapter 3: Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 Chapter 4: Part 8 You are Here From the Beginning: FF | AO3 Summary: Imprisoned by the Hood, Gordon dreams of his oldest brother and of fireflies - but of course the Hood had to steal that memory too, in addition to his baldric, his boots, and Virgil’s face. What else could he possibly steal? He discovers the answer is quite a bit, and Gordon has to learn to navigate his new world, its new dangers, and the overbearing presence of his brothers’ desire to help what they can’t fix. This part ~ 1.2K words – the sky, the stars, and the sea (or: Scott and John take care of Gordon) TW: Thunderstorms for this part, and slight drinking. Thanks to @godsliltippy for the read through. -----

Rain trailed down the villa’s windows with a steady pitter-patter as intermittently the grey sky growled with a fervent rumble in the distance. There was a difference to the way a storm sounded, striking instead a blanket of leafy, green canopy as opposed to the plains of their Kansas home – and this time it was joined in its chorus with the tossing of the sea waves upon the sandy beaches and rocky alcoves of Tracy Island.

Muted through the windowpanes it was, but Scott was listening for it. It was the sound of life-giving water returning to its home. Sky to sea. Eventually sea to sky, and back again.

The cycle helped him breathe through the weight in his chest.

The figurative one. Gordon was hardly heavy at the moment, more a feather’s breath sleeping soundly on the pillow his torso provided, rising up and lowering down with the motion of his lungs.

There was a reason Scott kept his breaths steady.

He pressed at the space between his eyes, where his nose met his aching head. Though the slumbering form shifted at the movement, Gordon did not wake. Despite the circumstances, he couldn’t help but smile fondly down at the figure curled on top of him and the childish googly-eyed smiley face that grinned at him on the camo shirt above where Gordon’s injured right arm was sprawled over his belly.

The doll clothes had been John’s idea. After a quick net search by EOS, some call outs from the Space Elevator on John’s way to the Island, and finally a quick pallet pick up from the brand’s warehouse in Thunderbird 1 on Scott’s way home, they were now owners of a pallet of 6-inch dolls of randomized styles.

It had been easiest and quickest to buy them in bulk, and the clothes weren’t sold separately. They’d have some doll toys they could keep in Thunderbird 2 for future rescues when all this was over, and the rest could be donated to the children’s hospital on the mainland. But in the meantime, Gordon had picked a few pieces to wear, and the first order of business had been for his brothers to pry the damn dolls out of their packaging so they could get to the clothes, which were either pull over or Velcro.

Even with doll proportions where a good chunk of the size came from the large, non-anatomically correct heads, the apparel was still slightly oversized on their brother.

“How is he?” came John’s patient, dulcet tone from around the corner, clasping two half-full glasses of amber and raising an inquiring eye when he realized Scott was in fact not at their dad’s desk where he left him, but lying on the couch propped up slightly on one arm and with his long legs propped over the other.

“Exhausted,” Scott answered thickly, his voice low. “We were just going to rest a moment.”

And they’d needed it. Debrief had been…. Hard.

They’d made it through the details of the original rescue in the standard amount of time and dreaded the next part, though no one expected Gordon to flat out refuse to talk until Virgil left.

Virgil had paled at the statement, argued for Gordon to let him help until he was hoarse with it. And Gordon just shook his head. In the end, Scott agreed that they should do as Gordon asked, because he could feel how tightly Gordon was pulling at his collar.

Scott hated that look of betrayal in Virgil’s eyes as he stormed off, the “fine” breaking off with a brittle catch of air. He’d wanted to follow Grandma and Alan to make sure he was okay, but Gordon needed him.

And though he hadn’t understood it at the time, he did now.

His heart ached for Gordon.

It ached for Virgil too. He was going to be devastated.

“Hey, Scott. You with me?” John asked with a swirl of the glass, the ice clinking against the side. He gently nudged Scott’s legs back as he sat down on the edge of the couch. “Figured we both could use one of these after that.”

Scott hummed in agreement. Once Gordon had felt comfortable with just Scott and John in the room, the story had come tumbling out. Every painful and cruel detail.

He accepted the glass and shifted up just a bit to give John slightly more room. It was a more comfortable position for sipping, but not so far propped up that Gordon would start to slide. Just in case, he also rested his left arm across his stomach so he could support him if he did.

A crackle lit up the sky for a moment, and the cool burn of whiskey slid down his throat. “Helluva day,” he whispered, his breath heavy.

John nodded, brushing back the ginger hair that fell into his face. “We can fix this, Scott,” he stated, gaze sharp as emerald green abandoned the copper inside his glass to meet weary blue. “Kayo’s out pursuing leads, and I have EOS looking. We’ll figure this out.”

Scott watched a bead of condensation cling to his glass, much slower in its run through the cycle than its raindrop cousins outside. He rubbed it gently with his thumb, which came back wet while the glass appeared silkier, smoother and yet when he looked at the world through it, everything distorted in angled amber.

John coughed, then cleared his throat. “So, I had to tell Grandma.”

Scott frowned at him. “You heard what he said.” Gordon hadn’t wanted anyone else to know.

“Right,” John scoffed. “Have you ever seen Grandma take no for an answer? She cornered me on the way to the restroom. She said she gets it. She won’t reveal anything until Gordon’s ready. But Virgil’s really hurt.”

He knew that and despised that this was something big brothers couldn’t just put a bandage on and fix. “I don’t like having to keep this from him.”

“No one does,” John agreed, “but we have to trust in Gordon. It’s what he wants. For now.”

Outside the thunder clapped, the storm closing in on the villa with a rush of rain. Even after all this time, even with listening so intently to the storm build, the volume took him by surprise. Despite the exercises, there were times – too often than he’d like to admit – that thunder didn’t sound like thunder.

Air caught, just for a moment in Scott’s lungs. He forced the fear back down with a mouthful of fire, listened to the rain, focused on the cycles.

Above his fluttering heart, Gordon stirred. “Why,” he mumbled, “...th’boat stop?” He blinked groggily up at the ceiling, at John then Scott. “Oh.”

“Go back to sleep, Gordon,” John encouraged. “Sorry we woke you.”

“‘S’ok.” Gordon tapped to get his attention, and Scott looked down at the pressure, meeting small, but just as equally determined brown eyes. “Hey. Jus’ a storm.”

“I know, Gordo,” Scott whispered. “Sleep.”

Agreement was muffled into his shirt and faded quickly as the tiny grip went slack.

Eventually glasses were emptied, refilled, and finally abandoned as the storm blew through. And finally, when Scott’s lids lowered, John cleaned up and took over at their father’s desk to pick up the reports where Scott left off, keeping a watchful eye on his brothers as always.

#Gavii Scribit #Firefly's Glow #John Tracy #Scott Tracy #Gordon Tracy #Thunderbirds fanfiction #pocket!Gordon #thunderstorms #light alcohol #miltary!Bros

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smhalltheurlsaretaken · 3 years

Note

What's your opinion on Qui-Gon Jinn?

Oh boy, do I have a *complex* relationship with Qui-Gon Jinn.

This isn't going to be a rigorous meta, more like a personal rambling, because @gffa already did a great job analysing his character and I don't want too spend to long on this.

So upon first watching the prequels - a mere four and a half years ago - I absolutely adored his relationship with Obi-Wan, because father-son dynamics were what spoke to me most. I read about a billion fics with them as main characters, even though I hadn't read the JA books. I also wasn't too knowledgeable on what was canon and what wasn't at the time. I wasn't that into the Jedi as a whole at the time, just into specific individuals. I thought the Order was neat but that Qui-Gon was cool as a maverick. I wanted to excuse every single mistake he made because I just hated to see his bond with Obi-Wan compromised in any way, and I didn't yet have the maturity to understand and accept that flaws don't make a character less worthy of love or that fights are normal even in a healthy, strong family.

Then I discovered TCW and Ao3, when I used to read only on FF, and both completely changed my way of relating to Star Wars, shifting my focus to the Clone Wars era. Later I dropped from the fandom for a year and a half, and I came back clearer on what content I was willing to engage with and what I didn't like.

So, what do I think of Qui-Gon now? Well first, I dumped all my knowledge of JA into the trash because I do not vibe with these books at all (except for a few really, really good fics). So I don't think Lucas' Qui-Gon was abusive, that he ruined Obi-Wan's mental stability because of The Trauma, that everything bad in SW indirectly happened because of Xanatos-related shenanigans. That's not the lenses I see TPM through. I'm also not too keen on engaging with the Disney EU, because while it does try way harder to stick to Lucas' worldbuilding and it is overall less contradictory and closer to my understanding of the Prequels, it also has a lot of stuff I really, really don't think are true to the original intent for the characters (cue the re-canonization of Siri Tachi and Obi-Wan feeling Sinful™ for *gasp* wanting to hold a girl's hand *gasp* uuuugh).

So I tend to try and understand Qui-Gon purely from his TPM and TCW appearances. I think he was stubborn, a bit judgmental, sometimes impatient, I think he rushed into things too much - more than he cared to admit - and I think he was a very good man.

Stubborn, well - it's kinda obvious. He's kinda bull-headed and Obi-Wan calls him out on that when he asks that please, they do things the Council's way this time.

Judgmental... Welp. He's very quick to dismiss Jar Jar (who, I'll readily admit, is absolutely INSUFFERABLE in TPM - but he's so sweet in TCW that I can't help liking him) and his interactions with the Council kinda feel like him riding a moral high horse he really has no business being on. Like the "you must see it," bit.

My dude, you just dumped an admittedly powerful but completely untrained kid onto their laps, told them he had no father - something that you didn't even verify and can't prove, and that isn't even that significant in a world where cloning exists - and told them they HAD to accept he was the mystical incarnation of the entity they've pledged their lives to because of some prophecy half of them don't believe in and the other half don't care that much about.

The fact that he was right in no way invalidates that the Council questioning the whole Chosen One thing for about three minutes was perfectly rational.

About the impatience and the rushing, well... That's kinda what he does throughout TPM. He keeps forcing the issue and strong-arming fate - when cheating to free Anakin on Tatooine, with the Council, when he renounces Obi-Wan immediately instead of maybe waiting a bit to try and work something out (like idk, asking another maverick Master to take Anakin?), and finally with his dying wish.

While taking action is not a bad thing, sometimes you need to slow down to be level-headed, which I think is why the Council dug their heels in so much with him when we see them go along with all sorts of insanity on Obi-Wan's part.

I think he was wrong to dismiss Anakin's attachment to his mother (a very real problem and the root of many of Anakin's issue according to George Lucas, so the Council were *right* to be wary) as inconsequential in the face of his possible prophetic status.

I don't think he would have done a "better job" training Anakin than Obi-Wan did.

I also think he was a genuinely good, caring man. He loved Yoda very much - and the TCW bits between them really get me - and the other Jedi loved him too. (Like when Jocasta tells Obi-Wan how great Dooku was in the AotC deleted scene and she cheerfully talks about how alike he and Qui-Gon were.) They respected and valued his input - as evidenced by the fact that the Council sent him on important missions and didn't immediately pull him out of the field when he came back claiming he had fought a living fossil and found Jesus. He was patient and caring with Anakin at least, and he managed to attain immortality, which requires an immense mental and spiritual fortitude from what we see of Yoda's own trials. He was the kind of man who spent a year on the run with two sassy teenagers in love and managed to stay sane.

All in all, I like him. He's not my favorite Jedi, he's not my favorite character, but he's a good guy. Seeing how amazing of a person Obi-Wan turned out to be, he was a good Master.

I don't see him as "everything the Jedi should have been" or "the Greatest Jedi Ever" or an abusive blind asshole who had no business teaching kids ever. He did what he liked, he liked what he did, was a bit of a prick sometimes, super kind and gentle other times, and all in all he's a very interesting, well-rounded character with lots of contradictions.

#ask #anonymous #long post #sw talk #qui-gon jinn

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wefoundloveunderthelight · 3 years

Photo

The Love Cruise - by GleefullyCaptainSwan

Or on FF

Tagging: @teamhook @kmomof4 @stahlop @lfh1226-linda

Chapter 6: Muscle Memory

Emma woke with a headache and a slew of questions from Ruby.

Why is there a painting in our room?

Who the hell is Walsh?

Just what are you doing all day when you disappear?

Emma just grumbled about rich stalkers and stumbled to the bathroom for a warm shower. As she stood under the hot water, she hoped the steam would blow it all away and make the annoyances of dealing with Walsh disappear.

Unfortunately, the painting staring back at her as she opened the bathroom door brought her back to the immediate reality that this man she barely knew, gave her a painting that he just bought for more money than she made in months because he thought she was beautiful.

His attention made her uncomfortable, it unsettled her. She wasn’t sure why he continued to pursue her, but she was going to make sure he understood that his gift was not appropriate.

Stepping out of her room, she ran into August who was limping along the hallway. “Need assistance?”

“Emma, you are a welcome sight.” He grinned and she stepped up beside him to offer her shoulder to lean on. “I’m on my way to the medical bay.”

She gave him a knowing glance and pursed her lips together. “Hmm, this seems to be happening often.”

“Hey, I’m an injured man.” He replied incredulously.

“With a very pretty and attentive nurse.”

“Is she pretty?” He said with a smirk, “I never noticed.”

“Mmhm, you know if you lie, it makes your nose grow.”

“That’s a child’s fairytale, you don’t scare me.” He teased, reaching up to tap his nose. “See, no change.”

They reached the medical wing and August’s face brightened when Tink walked up to them. “There’s my favorite patient.”

“Good morning, Ms. Bell, my friend Emma made sure I got here safely.”

“Hi Emma. Nice to see you again. Your friend is in good hands, I’ll make sure he gets back to his room safely, in case you have plans.”

“Oh yes, August definitely thinks that you take great care of him, I leave you in his charge.” She winked at August as she left the room.

She turned the corner and ran directly into a man in uniform. “Emma, what a pleasant surprise.” He looked in the direction she had come from, concern slipping onto his face. “Is everything alright?”

“Oh yeah, just dropping my friend August off for his daily flirting session.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Sorry, I think my friend has a crush on one of your nurses.”

“I suppose you know what the ship’s name stands for right? TLC, tender loving care. Seems only fair that he be taken care of properly.”

She laughed lightly. “Well, I think he’s a satisfied customer then.”

“Happy to hear that my crew is meeting expectation.” His gaze scanned her face, causing her body to heat up suddenly. “Well, I must continue on my duties. Captain’s job is never done.”

“Of course, you do have an important job here.” Disappointed to see him leaving, she started to walk away when she felt his hand on her elbow.

“I was wondering if you would be interested in joining me on the sky bridge this evening. I hear tonight will offer a beautifully clear night for star gazing, a favorite activity of mine while at sea.”

“Star gazing with the Captain, I don’t remember seeing that listed as an option on the excursion board.” She teased. “I’d be honored.” His mouth turned upward slightly, her heart pounding in her chest when his tongue darted out across his bottom lip.

“I’ll see you there, Miss Swan.”

Emma was in a haze the rest of the day, flitting about from activity to activity with anticipation. She couldn’t wait for the opportunity to get more alone time with Killian. Stargazing was lovely, but she wanted nothing more than to gaze into the galaxy held within his bright blue orbs.

Emma practically skipped to the dining room to meet her friends for dinner that evening, but as she rounded the corner, her eyes caught sight of the one man she wanted to avoid. Walsh.

He looked up and she knew he had noticed her approaching him, there was no avoiding this. She marched up to him and he immediately stopped her before she could speak.

“Emma, I do hope you liked my gift.”

“Actually, I was coming over here to tell you that I think it’s inappropriate to send me something that cost so much, considering we don’t even know each other.”

“Emma, it was not my intent to offend you. You liked the painting, and I wanted to get it for you.”

“Why? You don’t even know me.”

“But I wish to get to know you better. Can’t you allow me that much?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Besides, you knew I was with someone the night we first met.”

He looked around. “I haven’t seen him with you since. Seems if a man had such a beautiful woman on his arm, he would be foolish to leave her alone so often.”

“That is clearly none of your business.”

“Please, Emma, surely my gift has granted me some favor, perhaps you could join me for dinner.”

“I have plans.” She stated simply and turned to walk away. “I’ll make sure you get your painting back.” Without turning around, she made her way to her table.

“There she is.” David announced as she sat down. “We were wondering where you have been all day.”

“I helped gimpy down to the medical wing, took in some trivia, a couple other activities, and then I needed to take care of something.” She looked over at Ruby and Will who both knew about the painting.

“Bloody shame, you could sell that thing.” Will huffed.

“Sell what?”

“Emma’s has an admirer who gifted her a very expensive painting last night.”

“Oh, are you finally warming up to the idea of this cruise?” Her brother mused.

“Absolutely not, and I’m returning the painting, the guy creeps me out.”

“I apologize, should I leave?” Graham looked apprehensively at the table as he approached them at the end of Emma’s sentence.

“Sorry, I was talking about this rich guy that won’t leave me alone.”

Graham wiped his brow and took a seat beside Ruby. “Do you need me to have him arrested.” He grinned.

“I don’t think you have jurisdiction out here on the water, but that’s not necessary. He’s harmless, just determined.” She groaned.

“Well, if he doesn’t back off, the Captain of the ship can take care of issues like that, he has maritime jurisdiction.”

Emma’s head shot up at the mention of the Captain. “Seriously guys, I took care of it. I’m not a damsel in distress. I don’t need to run to the Captain just because some guy acts like a jerk.”

She would prefer to use the Captain for more erotic activities.

The subject was interrupted when dinner was served, and Emma welcomed the change of discussion to keep her mind from wandering into a place it didn’t belong before she met with Killian tonight.

“So, Emma, a bunch of us are going to the dance club tonight, want to join us?” Graham looked over at her and Emma smiled politely.

“What time are you guys heading over? I planned to go to the gym for a bit, but I can meet you guys there.”

“Why the bloody hell are you stepping foot in a gym while you’re on vacation?” Will argued. “You’re on a cruise ship, who works out on a bloody cruise ship?”

“A lot of people, William. It’s kind of nice, the view is amazing.”

“Suit yourself, I think you’re quite mad.”

Emma had no plans of meeting the group this evening. All through dinner the only thing on her mind was spending time alone with Captain Jones. While she found that she enjoyed his company, it was the butterflies amassing in her stomach that surprised her. She was both nervous and excited to get to spend more time talking to him. As much as she detested the premise of coming on a ship to hook up with eligible bachelors, she couldn’t deny her attraction to the devilishly handsome Captain. Nor did she want to. The anticipation of his body in close proximity to hers was enough to have her squirming under the table.

“Emma are you alright?” Emma jumped, banging her knee under the table.

“Sorry what?” She glanced up to see everyone staring at her.

“I asked what you were thinking of wearing tonight.” Ruby sat staring at her curiously while Emma stammered about needing to go through her closet to see what she had.

~*~

Killian was pacing on the bridge thinking about his upcoming evening with Emma Swan. He hadn’t been this delighted about being alone with a woman in years. Well, perhaps delighted but also anxious and positively full of nerves.

“Captain, I looked up the woman you wanted me to find, but there is no one on the ship by the name of Emma Swan.”

Killian stopped pacing. “Are you quite sure?”

“I had them check twice just in case. Anything else you need from me, Captain?”

“No, thank you for checking sir.” Killian dismissed the man and frowned. How did a woman he had physically spoken to, not exist on the ship?

He pulled the pocket watch from the chain on his hip, time seeming to slow to a stop the closer it got to meeting with Emma.

“Somewhere to be, Captain?” He looked up to see his First Mate approaching him. He nodded. “Captain, we have things handled here.”

“Thank you, Smee. Let me know if anything is needed.”

He excused himself from the bridge and returned to his quarters. He tried to calm his nerves as he stood on his balcony, watching the sun falling toward the choppy waters at the horizon. When the ball of fire finally dipped into the surface of its lover, he left his room to wait for Emma on the top deck.

As he approached, he realized he was not alone on the sky deck.

“Emma?”

She turned, her golden hair glowing in the moonlight.

“Hey, I uh, was hiding out so I thought I’d come up here a bit early.”

“And what, pray tell, would you be hiding from?

“Doesn’t matter.” She approached him, her eyes glimmering as she met his gaze. “I believe I was promised star gazing.”

“Aye.” He took her hand and guided her to the corner of the deck, sitting down in the large lounger and patting the spot next to him. She stood thinking for a moment before joining him on the chair, melting into his side.

“So, Captain, what are we looking for?”

He took her hand and pointed it toward the sky, “Right there, you see that bright star?” She nodded. “That’s Deneb, the star sits at the tail of the constellation, Cygnus.” He turned toward her, meeting her eyes. “That’s the Swan. Mythology says that the Cygnus is actually Zeus in disguise on his way to a tawdry tryst.” He laughed, then traced her hand across the sky. “That star, that’s Albireo, it sits at the Swan’s head and if you are lucky enough to view her from a microscope, you would be blessed with the sight of not one, but two stars huddled together.”

“Where did you learn all of this?”

“My mother used to take Liam and I to our rooftop at night, she would tell us tales of the constellation and the Gods. After she passed, it was the one thing I took solace in, in a way, I suppose it allowed me to continue to communicate with her in some way.”

“That’s beautiful. When did you lose your mother?”

“Oh, I was but a young lad of four.”

“I’m so sorry, are you close with your father.”

“No, it was just Liam and I, my father left shortly after my mother died.”

“So, you were all alone?”

“Liam took good care of me. He did the best he could being a young man himself. But he raised me right, taught me to sail, he joined the Navy after I came of age and of course I followed him. Everything I have, all of this, I owe to him.” She was lost in thought beside him. “And what of your parents, are you close?” She laughed but it wasn’t a pleasant laugh which caught him off guard. “Just who are you, Swan.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Perhaps I would.”

“It’s not a pleasant story.” She said as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

“You and I have that in common it seems.” He said sadly.

She sighed and relaxed beside him. “I never knew my parents, they left me, wrapped in a blanket on the steps of a police station when I was just a few months old. No note, just dropped me off like I was a donation at Goodwill or something.”

He swallowed hard; it was not a pleasant tale to be sure.

“Anyway, the Nolan’s adopted me, gave me a last name. But they passed when I turned 16, car accident. But my brother, David, he raised me, he’s a good man and he tried to do the best he could with an unruly teenager.”

“Is that why I couldn’t find you in the ship’s register?”

“You were looking me up?” She mused.

“I was merely curious.”

She narrowed her eyes before continuing, “I used the name Swan when I ran away from home.”

“Well, aren’t you a surprise? Your brother must have been distraught.”

“He was, like many sad stories, I met a guy, who I thought meant something to me. I mean, I wanted him to mean something so of course, he disappointed me. And it sucked and it changed my life.” She turned toward him, rolling slightly in the chair to face him. “You ever want something to work out so bad that your whole world falls out from under you when you lose it?”

He nodded, “Aye.” A lump forming in his throat.

“That’s what happened to me when Neal left. Things got hard and he ran, and I thought my world was over. But…” She stopped talking, looking back up at the sky.

“I was married.” He said suddenly.

“What?”

“I was married for two years.” He said softly.

“But you’re not married now?”

He shook his head sadly. “She died three years ago. Aneurysm. One day she was here, and then…just gone.” He snapped his fingers.

“Oh God, that must have been terrible.”

“One of the worst days of my life.” He felt her fingers trace the flesh at his arm and he turned toward her, a look of uncertainty in her eyes.

“Life isn’t fair.” She said sadly. “Is it?”

She was staring at him, sadness sitting behind the green in her eyes. The wind was blowing across the bow, sending her hair in waves across her forehead. He reached out and brushed the strands from her face.

“Do you want to kiss me?” She whispered, reaching out to grab his hand before he pulled it away from her face.

“Does the lady wish for me to kiss her?” He asked, his heart speeding up in his chest.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about it since you kissed me on the bridge.”

“I was afraid I had overstepped.” She sat up, her eyes meeting his.

“I hadn’t been kissed in seven years.” She said softly and all he could think of was what a damn shame that was. “Why should everyone else on board this ship get to have fun except for us?”

“Is that what we’re doing? Having fun, Emma?” He paused before continuing. “I do wish to kiss you, again. I just…”

She frowned, “I understand if…” He pressed his hand to her lips, silencing her.

“It’s been three years, Emma. I’m rusty.” The corner of his lips turned up, “But I think I’d like to figure it out.” Her lips puckered, kissing the pad of his finger that was resting on her lip and he felt shivers race down his spine. His thumb pressed against her jaw line, sliding his hand to her neck, and bending forward to capture her lips with his. Her fingers slid into his hair, eliciting a light moan from his throat.

The kiss was intoxicating, she tasted of chocolate and honey and the moment her tongue slipped from her mouth, he allowed her entrance, their tongues tangling in a heat of desire, his hands exploring the curves of her torso. When his fingertips touched skin at her waist, she moaned wantonly into his mouth and he dropped his head against her neck.

“There may be others on deck.” He breathed against her neck, inhaling her intoxicating scent.

She pulled back, staring at him. “Perhaps the Captain can give me a tour of a more private location?” She said softly and he chuckled.

“I think that can be arranged.”

~*~

Emma couldn’t believe what she had said, did she really just ask him to take her somewhere private? Did she intend to sleep with him, a man she had only met a few days ago? Emma was not a reckless person, having Henry at such a young age had taught her to be responsible, never stepping outside of the lines she had set for herself.

And now she was stumbling down the hallways of a cruise ship, her mouth pressed against the Captain of the ship, her body on fire, burning to have him touch her, take her, devour her. She needed this, needed him. She never allowed herself a moment to have something she wanted, everything she ever did was for Henry. With her back pressed up against the door, his hand in her hair, his tongue hot against her ear, she decided that she could have one moment to take something she wanted.

The door pushed open and she fell backwards into the room, his hand steadying her at her back. “Woah, sorry, I think I’m a bit anxious.”

“I’m glad it’s not just me.” She looked around the room. “Holy shit, is this your room.”

He chuckled. “It’s a bit much, I know.”

She wandered through the room, finding a full living room, doors heading off in both directions. “How many rooms do you have?”

He held up his hand, counting on his fingers, “Living room, dining, bedroom, guestroom, and two bathrooms. It’s a bit obscene.” He laughed before stopping to lean against the wall of the door frame, his eyes dark and wanting. She walked slowly toward him. “Shit.” He swore and she stopped in her tracks. “I apologize, Lass, I am out of practice. I’m afraid I don’t have any protection with me, I had no intention of…”

She stopped in front of him, her lip turning upward. “Well, lucky for you, my best friend was determined, even under my direct protest, to ensure that I was prepared.” She opened her purse, displaying a full line of condoms. “Unless you’re not interested…”

He advanced on her in one move, pulling her against his body, the bulge pressing against her hip all the answer she needed. The nervous energy and concern she had before they got to the room were gone, replaced instead with curiosity and desire. Emma hoped that the few memories she had of sex would soon replace her inexperience from lack of practice. They stumbled in the dark, tripping over furniture, and Emma could barely hide her embarrassment when her bra clasp got stuck in the threads of her shirt. Standing in the darkened room, one arm free from her strap and the other encumbered in her sleeve. Despite her attempts at trying to look sexy she was the picture of inexperience.

“Perhaps I should rescue you.” He chuckled against her neck, reaching down to assist her, his teeth raking against her flesh causing goosebumps to appear along the length of her arms. “Relax love.” He whispered.

“Sorry, I’m not exactly experienced in hooking up with men.”

She felt his smile along her jaw, “I haven’t done this for 7 years, but I’m pretty sure it hasn’t changed since then.” His fingertips slid from her neck down to her breast. “Perhaps it’s all muscle memory.” His voice was thick in her ear as his thumb rubbed against her nipple, eliciting a groan from her throat. His light chuckle at her response combined with his hot breath in her ear had her dripping with want.

She had only had sex with one other man before. Neal. He was not a talkative lover nor a patient one and while she found sex pleasant, she considered it something she could live without. Emma knew her own body and how to scratch the itch when the feelings arose. Men were never a necessity.

However, as Killian’s hand slid between her thighs, lightly teasing her before he reached up to push her shorts down, she felt her knees give way in anticipation of what was to come. He pushed her back toward the bed, the back of her knees bumping the mattress.

She sat back on the bed, his eyes staring down at her as he stood in front of her. With shaky hands she grabbed his belt, pulling the leather through the loops and sliding it to the floor beside her. Her heart was pounding as she fumbled with the buttons, pushing the pants from his hips to his ankles. He pulled his shirt over his head, leaving him in his boxers in front of her. His thumb hooked under her chin, pulling her eyes up to meet his. “You really are quite beautiful, Emma.”

She gulped, sliding her hands up the bed to pull her body upwards. She felt the bed dip as his knees pressed into the mattress. He pulled her foot up his body, massaging her calf with his hand before bending to press his lips where his hands had been. His fingers continued their way toward the apex of her thigh, his mouth not far behind, peppering hot kisses to each part of her flesh. Emma’s entire body felt like it was on fire as he slowly inched toward her most aching desire.

Their eyes connected before he dipped between her thighs, her entire body tensing when his tongue slid between her folds. She could barely stop herself from reaching out and gripping his hair in her hand, the other tightening in the folds of the sheet as her head fell backwards on the pillow, her moan echoing in the otherwise quiet room.

If this was what he was like without practice, Emma dared to think what he would be like after a few more tries. Squeezing her eyes shut she pushed away thoughts of continued activities with the man currently pumping his fingers inside of her. This was a fleeting moment, a one-time thing she deserved to experience, however when his teeth raked over her bundle of nerves, his thumb following with pressure, his fingers sliding in and out of her as she screamed out his name, she thought that maybe she really did owe it to herself to make this a two- or three-time thing before she got off the ship.

~*~

Killian was sure that the sound she made as her body tensed and fell apart under his hands was something he could play over and over again and never tire of hearing. Though he hadn’t pleasured a woman since Milah, watching Emma fall over the edge was like cracking a safe, it was intoxicating and worthy of the treasure it provided.

He slid slowly up her body, his teeth nipping at her soft flesh, sucking against her supple skin in ways that he knew would leave a temporary bruise in the morning. He knew he shouldn’t take pleasure in knowing he was marking her body, but it excited him all the same. He was eager to slide into her, to feel her beneath his body, writhing, moaning, all for him. His body was on fire and only she could put out the flames. When their mouths met, she hitched her leg around his hip, and he swallowed her moans, his erection twitching against her mound.

He moved away from her and she whined. “One moment, love, we aren’t going to get far without one of these.” He lunged for the condom on the bed, tearing the corner open with his teeth and reaching between them to sheath himself.

She bit her lip, watching him, the anticipation of what was about to transpire creeping into his brain. She blinked slowly; her hair splayed out on his pillow. He pressed his lips lightly to hers, “Are you…”

“I want you.” She whispered, the moonlight framing her face. His heart was racing as he pressed against her legs, she opened further to him as he positioned himself at her slick opening, slipping slowly inside of her. “Oh God.” Her legs squeezing him, pulling him toward her as he pushed forward, fully seating inside of her.

“Christ.” He grunted, before their lips met hungrily, his tongue slipping into her mouth before he began to thrust into her. Her nails pierced the flesh at his back, bucking her hips into his, sending his body into a frenzy. As if a switch was thrown, their motions became frantic, desperate, and messy, the sounds of moaning, heavy panting, and strangled screams invading the normally serene ocean sounds around them.

Just when Killian was sure he wouldn’t last any longer she shoved his shoulder, pushing he over onto the bed and sinking down on top of him. He wasn’t sure how much longer he would last like this. Her blonde hair cascaded down her naked form, the moonlight glowing on her milky white breasts, her chin tilted toward the ceiling with her mouth open, soft moans falling from her lips.

“Emma, look at me, darling.” He reached out, taking her hand, and bringing it between them, intertwining their fingers against her clit. Their eyes made contact and she screamed out, squeezing his cock in her warm slick until he could hold back no longer, spilling into the condom as he bucked into her body. When her hips finally stilled against his, he reached up, his hand trailing her spine, pulling her down to him and twisting her to her side, his lips pecking softly at her jaw.

“I hope that was at least as good as you remembered sex to be.” He smirked.

“Oh God no.” She exclaimed before laughing and he frowned. “I mean, I’ve never experienced anything like that.” She added.

“My apologizes, for your past lover then.”

Her head fell back on the pillow as she broke into a fit of giggles that was almost music to his ears. “I don’t know what I find more attractive, the sounds you were making a minute ago or the ones you are making now.” He said lazily and she pulled back to stare at him before she started fumbling around for her clothes.

“You are welcome to stay, if you would like.” She turned to look at him.

“I would, but Ruby would ask a million questions if I didn’t come back to the room tonight. She’s already going to wonder why I didn’t come to the dance.”

He sat up, kissing her bare shoulder as she tried to gather her clothes to dress. “Emma.” He said softly against her skin. “I want you to know that I do not normally behave this way.”

She laughed again, “You mean have sex with your passengers?”

“Well that yes, but…”

She turned, “Killian, I wouldn’t be here if I thought that of you. You don’t have to explain. I find you attractive, I enjoyed the evening, we are two consenting adults.”

“I’d very much like to see you again.”

“Well, it’s a good thing we are stuck out here on the ocean for another week then. I can’t see how we wouldn’t see each other.”

He narrowed his eyes, “That is hardly what I meant.”

She leaned forward, nudging her nose into his neck. “I’m just teasing you.” She nipped at his ear. “I want to see you again too.” His arm went around her waist and he pulled her backward onto the bed. Their mouths connecting hungrily.

“It’s still early, Swan. I don’t have to check in on the bridge for another hour.” She giggled into his mouth, “It would be a shame to waste all those condoms.” When he felt her hand wrap around his cock, he thought perhaps he could be a little late to the bridge.

#TLC #The Love Cruise #stacy's fics #killian jones #emma swan #emma x killian #captain swan #captain swan au #captain swan fics #captain swan modern au

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takoyakitenchou · 3 years

Text

masquerade ch.8

7? idk but this one isn’t on ff or ao3 yet i think

12:58 PM Nakiri Erina: Hi, it’s been a while. Are you free the day after tomorrow?

1:03 PM Yukihira Souma: how’d u get this #?

1:04 PM Nakiri Erina: Alice gave it to me.

1:04 PM Yukihira Souma: sup

1:05 PM Nakiri Erina: I’m opening Kiralyno Haza. It’s not like I want you to show up or anything.

message opened

1:37 PM Nakiri Erina: Hello?

2:40 PM Yukihira Souma: hey sorry i just got on break. congrats nakiri!

2:41 PM Nakiri Erina: It was expected.

2:41 PM Yukihira Souma: surprised it took you so long to open. hurry up and get your 3 stars bubs then we’ll really see who’s the better chef

2:41 PM Yukihira Souma: and did you get tired of shinomiya or did he get tired of you?

2:42 PM Nakiri Erina: I got tired of him. Duh. Are you not coming?

2:42 PM Yukihira Souma: save 4 seats for me. i’ll be a balloon by the time im done w your food also i hope you have enough ingredients for a shokugeki after

“Ugh. You’re as shit at texting as ever,” Erina groaned, throwing down her phone, but then she picked it up again to stare at those four particular characters. Bubs. God, it had been so long since she’d seen that in her messages.

(under the cut to see souma and erina start to get their shit together lol)

To think that she had been the one to break the radio silence between them — good lord, that was fucking annoying. It was weird to think about. There had been plenty of opportunities for them to talk again, and yet they’d somehow managed to evade each other since they’d run into each other at Nakiri Mansion. Whether this was coincidence she had no idea, but Souma hadn’t been at the official Totsuki-sponsored 92nd gen alumni reunion, and Shinomiya had dragged Erina to some culinary conference that made her miss the freshman training camp where Souma threatened the living shits out of the poor first years but ended up not cutting anybody from the roster.

Erina had done her best not to linger on the fact that she had had to ask Alice for Souma’s new number, but goddamn would that remain at the forefront of her mind for the week following Kiralyno Haza’s debut until she got frustrated enough to the point where she damn near chucked her own phone out the window.

It was thanks to Alice that her condo was still in one piece.

The COO of the Nakiri-Totsuki Group was sitting next to her at a bar in Budapest, helping herself to her third shot of tequila, a few empty glasses and a growing tab between them. “Yukihira’s coming?”

Erina nodded, smiling despite herself. “Yeah. I guess he is.”

Taking sudden interest in her drink, Alice remained silent for a thoughtful moment before she said, “I haven’t seen you this happy since you two broke up.”

With a half-hearted huff, Erina scoffed, “Yeah, right.”

Alice gave her a long look. “I’m not kidding, Erina. Who was that other guy you were seeing? Darren?”

“Aaron. Darren was before him.”

“Doesn’t he have a 3000-seater concert hall named after him?”

“I couldn’t care less.” Erina said, and Alice knew it was 593% true.

Whenever tolerating a guy got tedious, Erina had extinguished whatever spark he thought he had ignited, pretended to be hung up on it, and started over, systematically breaking hearts left and right, all the while building titanium defenses around her own.

And then, a year and half ago, she’d seen Yukihira Souma at Nakiri Mansion, and everything had changed.

So. Much. Pining. Alice was more than a few years past sick of how long those two idiots were dragging their shit out.

Erina picked up her belongings. “We should probably stop day-drinking.”

“Sure,” Alice said, paying the tab before Erina could get her wallet out.

“I’ll pay you back for that,” Erina promised as they left the bar.

Alice put a hand on Erina’s shoulder. “You can pay me back by not fucking up your confession again.”

At this, Erina frowned. A withering counter should’ve been second nature, but she found herself incapable. She wanted to believe that whatever piece of her heart that had clung to the hope that Yukihira Souma would come back to her was nothing more than a memory. More than anything, she wished the voice at the back of her head telling her to move on and forget him and their past would finally win out, because there were people in her present waiting for her, and it would be a sin to ignore that.

But she couldn’t say the words; her heart belonged to Yukihira Souma — would always belong to him — and all broken promises and relationships notwithstanding, that was something she could not deny.

Although Souma technically hadn’t been invited to the kitchen for shift drinks when the front doors closed, he had taken the liberty of bringing a bottle of cab sauv that he and Erina finished in like ten seconds flat, to hell with sharing with staff, family, and friends.

The second she felt the words wanna come over? slip out of her atmosphere-drunk mouth, she knew it was going to take more self-control than she had not to demand he stay with her forever.

“So, Yukihira,” she said like they hadn’t been catching up for the last two hours when they were sitting on the couch in her living room with pinot noir. “How’ve you been?”

The corners of Souma’s lips twitched. “Not bad,” he replied. “Mostly cooking. A few interviews and shit. I’ve been keeping up with all your stuff, by the way. Three tastings in twelve hours next Monday seems like too much, Nakiri.”

Erina frowned. “Even if you were as talented a stalker as Mimasaka Subaru, how the fuck would you know that?”

He held up his phone. “You were signed into my calendar app when I last downloaded a backup copy four years ago. So every time I get a new phone, I transfer all the old data.”

Erina stared at him, horrified. “Holy shit. You’ve seen everything?”

Shrugging, Souma said, “Not everything. Just… your dates with Darren. And Aaron. Also, I knew about Kiralyno opening before you texted me so I’d already cleared out my schedule by then.”

Erina had stopped listening halfway through. “Wait, Yukihira…”

“It’s okay, Nakiri.” Souma waved it off. “You’re here with me now. All that matters. Let’s not look too far into our past, yeah?”

“Don’t look into my future either, idiot! Sign out of my Google calendar right now!”

Souma shook his head seriously. “Sorry, Nakiri, I don’t think that’s possible.”

“Why the fuck not?”

He gazed at her intently and rested his chin on his fist. “I need to make sure I’ll still be in it.”

Erina rolled her eyes. “Don’t say sappy shit like that. It doesn’t suit you.”

“What if I just stayed?” he asked.

She sighed. “I think the question is, would I even let you? I thought we’re putting the past behind us? Don’t you want this back?” She pointed at the white cloth she was wearing on her wrist. His white cloth.

Souma ignored the second question and pulled Erina to him by her waist, close enough that she could feel his warm breath as he spoke, forehead brushing hers. “Another thing we both know is that you and I could never be just friends.”

“Take your hands off me or I swear I’m either going to spill my wine or kiss you, and I seriously do not care which.”

He leaned back with a sad smile. “You wouldn’t let me stay, would you, Nakiri?”

“I couldn’t,” she said helplessly. “We don’t even know where our lines are.”

“Do we need lines?” Souma asked, finishing his glass and balancing it on his knee. “You and I are beyond this dimension.”

Erina stared at him, memorizing every last square centimeter of his features — the way his hair seemed to get shorter every time they met until he somewhat resembled someone of his culinary pedigree; the way the creases formed on his sleeves along the contours of his toned arms.

“You know, Nakiri, if you let me stay, you wouldn’t have to stare so much.”

She tore her gaze from his collarbone, her whole face turning red. In all her twenty-one years, that had to be the most embarrassing moment of her life. “Shut up! I’m not staring!”

He was watching her with wistful eyes. “I wouldn’t mind if you were…”

And they both heard it.

I wouldn’t mind if you were mine.

#shokugeki no soma #shokugeki no souma #sorina #soueri #yukihira soma #yukihira souma #nakiri erina #CANT BELIEVE THEYRE FINALLY GETTING THEIR SHIT TOGETHER #oh wait #im the one writing this

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dorky-thighchi · 4 years

Text

daisuga fic recommendations!

i made a new list of daisuga fanfic recommendations, i organized the list so you guys can choose whether you wanna read this or that. I already posted ff recs (but im not satisfied with it so...) i just wanted to make a new ff recs and add stories that i liked and forgot to mention. Please don’t forget to read the warnings before reading!! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) come with me in daisuga hell ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

LONG POST AHEAD!

----->MULTICHAPTERED AND SERIES

ANGST (lil bit of smut and fluff)

Time by novocaine_sea

The Airplane Song by darkbluebox

Cardboard Castles by valiantarmor

Glassed View by OikurooMiyuki

The Man I Met Online by Leryline

Misery’s Company by Mooifyourecows

COLLEGE AU

The Beauty of Love and Snapchat by Navybluewings

i'll be your biggest fan and you'll be mine by notsoblake (camboy!suga)

it’s hell to be you by Mooifyourecows (uhm a bit supernatural because of the winking monkey, body swap au)

FAKE/PRETEND RELATIONSHIP AU

Fake Wedding March by tsukkkiii (becauseitisbitter)

We’ll eat cake by h_lovely

FANTASY/SUPERNATURAL AU

gold star, ash sky by bigspoonnoya

bell, book, and candle by skittidyne

Come and get lost with us by boxofwonder

Spellbound by isthisphantasy (hogwarts au)

The Lucky Ones by yu_gin (omegaverse au)

but for me, there is a storm by Authoress (pacific rim au)

Earthquake by ghostnebula (ryuutora) (zombie apocalypse au)

FLUFF LOVE CONFESSIONS (uhm a lil mix of angst and smut? probably 75% or 25%??idk)

in between evenings by thispieceofmind

Burning by DreadfulMind

You’d fit my lonely arms so perfectly by boxofwonder

Cake or Break by Crollalanza

Blind Date by MellowChibi

The stars in the summer by Ellessey

Just Another by Mooifyourecows

You’d fit my lonely arms so perfectly by boxofwonder

Summer Time Sadness (Do You Love Me? Yes) by blushingninja

cool teens don't wear skinny jeans by ebenroot (babysitting au)

And That's The Way It Should Be by ofperspicacity (soulmate au)

Chase this light by Ellessey (music au)

NEIGHBORS AU

Black and Blue by MTrash (Makaria)

Apartment 103 by protectginozasquad

SINGLE DAD AU

WANTED: ONE SUGADADDY by blushingninja

Taking Chances by jellyfish_kuchen

SLOW BURN

Open Tab by Mooifyourecows

butterfly in the subway by bigspoonnoya

The Wedding by Navybluewings

Lost in Darkness by oceantovre

SMUT (uhm with fluff and angst maybe 69%)

Volleyball dad series by bishounencurious

How to Manage by SuggestiveScribe

----->ONESHOTS

ANGST ONESHOTS (with a happy ending or not ugh just prepare tissues)(lil bit of smut and fluff??)

Where you want to be by Ellessey

You in the End by shingekinoboyfriends

This is Axiom by shingekinoboyfriends

Easier than you think by fangirlandiknowit

Jealousy by surveycorpsjean

TIME TRAVEL AU

Snapshots by minijhi

SICK/INJURED! SUGA

Four out of Six by sugamama_crowshi

Time by novocaine_sea

HANAHAKI AU

La Douleur Exquise by WatanabeMaya

These Feelings Of Love Will Destroy Us Both by la_haine_pacifique for hipstasmatic

You’ll never know dear, how much I love you by littlemissmusique

FLUFF ONESHOTS (just lil bit of sexy time, mild angst and comedy but purely fluff)

Halfway Between by Skylark for tawnyport

How to Get Daichi to Relax by LottieCakes

Coming Out the Cupboard by dancingwithwings

Flybys and Landings by fathomfive

Years by dawnstruck

Button by bigspoonnoya

i do (cherish you) by gabstar for cleiioo

Splinters by Crollalanza

just call on me (and I'll send it along) by owlinaminor

Marbled by booksongup

up and at ‘em by Shyntax

you and your dusty radio, me and my two left feet by raewrites

Baby Talk by fog_mind (single dad au)

woo you by bishounencurious (hogwarts au)

Oh, Here We Go (Feel it in My Soul) by spatialsoloist (neighbors au)

by the stubborn will of gravity by toyotas (farm boy suga and alien daichi)

Heavy Metal Heart by kagseyamas (bad boy suga and nerd daichi)

Perfect For You by camra01 (pygmalion and galatea au)

COLLEGE AU

i am just holding these for a friend by tsukkkiii (becauseitisbitter)

still into you by arsenicjay

past our satellites by batman

Add New Contact by booksong

FIRST DATE

Love's a Rollercoaster by UmbrellaMartialGod

good intentions paving company by toyotas

FLUSTERED DAISUGA (When did you realize that you had a crush on someone? ft. flustered daisuga)

five confessions by disarmingly

Perfectionism by Mysecretfanmoments for dirtbag

Pretty by cyrnkun (Cyrn)

PDA by Veto_power_over_clocks for imightbejehan

Sweatpants by shady

a little lost by lavendrsblue

First Snow by Feelsripper

i love you by sugacookie

Commit This to Memory by shions_heart

His favorite song by magelbar

Captivating by Ellessey

boys by buu

Exception to the rule by mysecretfanmoments

I just gonna draw your back again, please don’t mind me by Adelaida

we are teenage hearts by Pyrahus

FUTURE FIC

bring it here, lover by melonstars

Where Have You Been All My Life? by reginagalaxia

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond by themorninglark

forever is a long time but i wouldn't mind spending it with you by Interconnected_3

4 AM is not Sugawara Koushi’s favourite time by Andramion

The real beauty by Ellessey

SICK FIC

Tea and Sympathy by Ellessey

cold syrup and an excuse to see you by erzi

Fight Me by Holly_Batali

FLUFF AND SMUT (mix of angst?)

A Confession by kickcows for kindofabadger

baby, you're the rest of my life by asukesay

Not A Normal Day by jullifish

everything by assahi

brick wall by cromulentsoul

Study Session by BlackKite7

Room 516 by Orphan_account

Finally by Moramew (omegaverse au)

SMUT ONESHOTS (uh mild angst and fluff?i guess? but basically uhm porn ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

My Koushi by KarasunoShugoshin

Kiss it better, Captain by Utsu

High for this by wildkitte

Hold Still by schiggy

Pleated pants by Suggestivescribe

Oops by Mooifyourecows

Positive Reinforcement by Ellessey

Melt in Your Mouth by jellyfish_kuchen

This is your captain speaking by Ellessey

stay the night by schiggy

Just in time by Toast_Senpai

Adrenaline heat by ZephyrCamida

five times for daichi by disarmingly

Kings of After Hours Management by SuggestiveScribe

Lollipop by inkleafclover

Glow by kingdra (aroceu)

Beautiful by seriouslyjustno

naughty by kurokn

Your wish is my command by Garneer

after hours by orphan_account

Sinful by sadmacedace (incubus au)

good for you by WildKitte (gladiator au)

Forget About It by writeitinred (mafia au)

As Well As You Know Me by Authoress (hogwarts au)

i've read a lot of daisuga ffs but i need to catch up because there are new stories i haven’t read :( this is my new list of beautifully written daisuga ff. I can assure you these stories are really really amazing. Please keep on digging daisuga ffs, there are amazing stories i didn’t mention here because there’s a limit for links here on tumblr so please keep reading. Please please please do not forget to leave kudos and praises after reading their works!!!!! Enjoy your reading!!! Have a nice day and stay safe!

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ladylore97 · 3 years

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SU FF Deleted Scene: Making Amends, Chapter 11

Words: 2790 (it was a long one to cut!) Summary: Steven and Spinel are established friends. Steven invites Spinel to stay over and have a slumber party. Spinel has a nightmare and Steven comforts her. Warnings: Panic attack, nightmares. Ships: One-sided Stevinel(?). Spinel has a big fat crush on Steven, and Steven is in a happy relationship with Connie. Nothing that deviates from canon other than the fact that they are close friends.

You can read the full story on AO3 or on FF.net

(I literally don’t remember what dialogue I took out before this but basically it’s getting late and Steven and Spinel are deciding what to do)

“You can take the pad upstairs back to Homeworld if you want. Or you can spend the night. I won’t be doing much, though. Humans have to sleep for about eight hours every day to recharge. If we don’t we get really slow and cranky and could even get sick.” Eight hours every day? That sounded inconvenient.

“What’s sleep?”

“Oh, it’s when you close your eyes and get comfy and let your brain shut off for a bit.”

“Oh! I did that sometimes. Never that long, though.” Not until after the initial 3,000 years, when Spinel dared to occupy herself with any activity that would hurt her chances of hearing that desired sound of a warp pad activating. She had learned to be the lightest of resters, closing her eyes for only a few minutes, ears vigilantly trained to hear even the slightest sound from the warp pad.

“You can try it if you want, and if you don’t like it you can use the warp to go back home or hang out in Little Homeworld or whatever you want to do while I sleep.”

“I’ll…try it,”she said after a moment of thought, “Yeah, who knows? It might be fun.” Steven beamed, and her doubts were instantaneously lifted.

“Alright, slumber party! I’ll get out a sleeping bag.” She followed him around the house with an air of excitement, nervously anticipating a different experience with rest than the one she had before. With the comfort of Steven in the room and nothing to vigilantly listen for, nothing to keep her from snapping back awake, maybe Spinel would actually enjoy sleeping.

“Here you go! I even found my old cuddle buddy for you – M.C. Bear Bear! He was a favorite back in the day,”he said, proudly handing her a stuffed….well, Spinel didn’t quite know what it was. But it was soft in her hand, and the fact that it was a treasured object of Steven’s made her smile. She held it against her chest while Steven arranged her pillows, privately taking a moment to inhale its scent. It smelled distinctly of Steven mixed with the must of dust.

“All set! First time sleepers, get comfy and warm under the blankets, close your eyes and try to think of nothing. Or count backwards from 100. Math always tires me out.” Spinel did as he suggested and apprehensively watched him climb into his own bed, then she laid down on the sleeping bag on the floor. She laid her head on the pillow the way he did, curling her body toward Steven’s bed and holding his bear tightly against her, her nose buried into the back of its head.

“I’m going to go to sleep now. If you can’t or wake up before me, you’re welcome to get up and do whatever you want. Just try to be quiet if you can. Night, Spinel.”

“Good night…” She listened intently, curiously waiting for a sign that would tell her what to expect from sleeping. She found it when Steven’s breathing began to even out and he had stopped moving as much. Spinel let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, realizing it was her turn. Closing her eyes, she tried to get comfortable. The room was dark, like the garden had been, but she wasn’t alone this time. There was nothing to fear here, she reminded herself. Nothing she had to stay awake for. Nothing she had to force her eyes open to see. Steven was here, and she could rest.

Spinel didn’t realize she had slipped into sleep until she was met by a vision entirely different than the floor of Steven’s room. She was back in the garden, her feet tethered to the ground by familiar vines and grassy debris. A beam of light ahead of her made Spinel’s gem feel like it had leapt out of her chest.

Pink Diamond walked slowly toward her, the frown on her face deep and impossible to ignore.

“You couldn’t do it, could you? You couldn’t even do one simply thing for me. Even though they were such easy rules.”

“Pink! I’ve stood still this whole time, just like you said. I-I’ve been good, I promise I have!” The elation of finally seeing her friend’s face was drowned out by the sudden terror that seized her. Pink was looking at her with such disappointment.

“You lost, Spinel. And now…” The stars in the sky began to blink out, one by one, until it was just Spinel and Pink, swallowed by darkness. From the dark, a pink shape emerged, larger and larger until Spinel’s injector filled her vision, its sheathed base hovering threateningly above her.

“…I don’t need this garden any more than I need you.”

“Pink…” Her diamond turned, and Spinel was helpless to run after her as the vines around her legs tightened their grip. The injector rotated above her, its drill head emerging and taking aim, but Spinel hardly noticed it. For all her power, she suddenly couldn’t stretch, couldn’t speak, couldn’t do anything but watch Pink walk back to the warp pad. Her hands remained locked tight in the position she had waited in, impossible to move.

“PINK!”she screamed, but nothing came out, and the injector made its mark. Spinel sat up with a start, her face already streaked with tears as she looked around Steven’s room. A choked sob burst from her throat before she could slap her hand over her mouth, remembering too late that she needed to be quiet to let Steven sleep. Steven stirred slightly from his place in his bed.

“Spinel? Spinel, are you okay?” Spinel couldn’t move, her hands tightly pressed against her mouth, silent and speechless as she was in her dream. A dim light illuminated the room next to them as Steven reached for his salt lamp in the dark. But she couldn’t move, couldn’t turn her head to see the surprise on his face.

“Spinel! What happened?” She didn’t answer. She couldn’t answer. The very particles in the air around her seemed to have frozen, sound suspended, time stopped.

“…Did you have a bad dream?” Steven’s voice was drifting, muddled and distant, as if he was speaking underwater. She clung to it, faint as it was. A dream? What was he talking about?

“…I can’t move,”she whispered, so softly he barely heard her over the muffle of her hand over her mouth.

“You can move now. It was just a dream, Spinel.” She could barely hear him. Her legs felt like lead, too heavy to lift, a permanent fixture to the floor. Fear flooded her as she wondered if this was just part of Pink’s punishment, to keep her from moving forever, trapped in one place for all eternity.

“I-I can’t move,”she repeated, voicing the only piece of truth in her otherwise disorienting world. Her vision swam, the world veiled in distortion as tears burned her eyes. Though she couldn’t see, she could feel someone’s hands, big and warm, coming up to gently tug her hands away from her mouth. His voice sounded far, far away, as inaccessible as the warp pad had been, even though both Steven and the portal were right in front of her.

“…-ome on, that’s it. It’s okay, Spinel. Just look at me and breathe.” Except she couldn’t. She couldn’t move, couldn’t see or hear Steven, and the more she tried, the more she panicked. Vaguely she registered a firm warmth wrapping around her, and a faint voice whispering in her ear. Tears streamed down her face as she focused on that voice – the only sound that felt remotely real.

“It’s okay, I’m here,”it was saying, “Just breathe in and out with me. I’ll count.” And then she heard numbers. Yes, she could focus on numbers. Numbers were familiar – a counting game she knew well how to play. She let the voice count for her, squeezing her eyes shut to anything else, letting its warmth and deep cadences gently relax her. It didn’t matter what the voice was saying. It didn’t matter if she had to wait a little longer, she tried to tell herself. Do what you did countless nights when the worry and the fear became too much. Just count. Count until you forget your place, and then start again. Nothing else matters except for the next number. Forget your worries, forget your sadness. Just count. Spinel closed her eyes and focused.

She had lost count of what number she had ended up on when she realized the warmth she had felt was Steven holding her. The voice, she finally recognized, was Steven’s, still gently whispering soothing assurances to her. Other sensations began to register as well – the fact that she had been crying, the wetness on his shoulder where her cheek rested, the tightness in her hands as she clenched fistfuls of his pajama shirt. He must have sensed that something in her had shifted, because he gently released her to lean back and look at her. Her tears welled and spilled over, freeing her vision to see Steven’s concerned face. Steven’s eyes, reflecting hers. Steven’s hands, holding hers. It was the most welcome sight in the world, she thought with a shaking sigh of relief. Suddenly it didn’t seem to matter where she was, or whether she was stuck in it or not. If Steven was here, she would be okay.

“…There you are,”he sighed with relief, gently cupping her face with his hand. The gesture was too much in her sensitive state - so painfully sweet, and so undeserved for such a wreck like her. Her welled-up tears spilled over onto already damp cheeks as she leaned into his hand, a soft whimper escaping her throat before she could stop it. He was too good, much too good for her. He deserved so much more than his mother’s hand-me-down broken toy, and yet… Her fingers had curled around his without realizing, anchoring her worthless, unwanted self to him, as if she had any right. With a half-broken sob she fell face forward into his chest, the silk of his pajamas soaking up her tears and her arms instinctually wrapping tightly around him.

“I’m sorry,”she sobbed, though of what, she couldn’t say. There was simply too much to be sorry for. For being such a fool, for being so forgettable, for being such a mess and a bother – he could take his pick. His arms came around her regardless, encasing her in his warmth.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, you just had a little panic attack. You’re okay. Whatever you saw when you were sleeping, it’s not real. They’re just pictures in your head when you sleep.”

“You didn’t tell me that could happen,”she accused, her fingers clenching tightly around the fabric of his pajamas. She felt his hand gently touch the back of her head.

“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t think your first dream would be a nightmare.”

“I d-don’t wanna ever d-do that again,”she sobbed, hiding her face in his shoulder. Steven held her against him, tiredly petting her hair as she sobbed, her arms coiling tighter around him of their own volition.

“You don’t have to. You’re safe now.”

“She was so angry and disappointed with me,”she blurted out without thinking, “She wanted me shattered.” Steven squeezed her tighter, knowing full well who she was talking about.

“She’s not here anymore. It’s just us, now.” Spinel’s arms made another loop around his shoulders.

“I don’t want to go home. I don’t want to be anywhere she touched right now.” Steven thought for a moment. Tired as he was, even he knew Spinel wasn’t in any state to wait quietly in the dark for him to sleep, and he wasn’t in any state to pull an all-nighter staying up with her.

Exhaustion smashed any reservations. “Just stay here tonight. You can stay by me until I wake up. You don’t have to sleep if you don’t want to.” Spinel slowly sat up to look at him, her eyes still wet and glassy.

“You won’t leave?”

“Of course not. I promise, I’ll stay right here with you.” He patted the space above them, motioning for her to join him at the edge of the bed. It took a long while until she was calm enough to move, but when she did she followed him onto his bed, looking apprehensive as he resumed his position laying down, their hands still tightly connected. He looked over to see she hadn’t moved to lie down yet, staring at him with glassy, frightened eyes.

“What’s wrong? You look scared.”

“Are you going to leave to a different place when you start dreaming?” Steven yawned, too tired for the philosophical implications of the question. He motioned for her other hand and gently guided her down to his side.

“Nobody disappears, Spinel. Dreams are just stories projected in your head. My body won’t move if I start dreaming, so I’ll be right here.” His answer didn’t seem to ease Spinel’s nerves. Steven could feel the pull of sleep weighing on him, heavy and thick.

“If you’re worried I’ll move, you can hold my hand while I sleep.”

“You won’t let go?”

“I won’t let go,”he promised, “Just, don’t talk too much, okay? I can’t talk and sleep at the same time.”

“…Okay,”she answered, her voice dropping down to a whisper as she stretched her hand to gently clasp his. In a matter of seconds his hand had gone limp in hers, but still she held on. His hand fit nicely in hers, large and warm and soft. Calloused fingertips, rough from years of playing guitar, gently curled around her gloved hand, a safe anchor in her otherwise tumultuous storm. She was safe here. She was safe with Steven.

Slowly she laid her head down on the bed, watching him studiously in the dim light of the stars from the window. His chest rose and fell evenly with each breath, hypnotic and calming. The sound was the only noise permeating the otherwise perfect quiet left behind by Spinel’s previous crying. Spinel couldn’t help but close her eyes and savor the sound - soothing, repetitive, grounding. The peace she felt laying by Steven was in such stark contrast to the panic just moments ago.

“You’re still shaking,”his voice cut through the silence, soft and sleepy. Shame filled her – she couldn’t even hold his hand without keeping him awake.

“M’sorry! I was starting to calm down a little, I promise. I’ll be quiet for you.” A beat of silence as Steven seemed to register what she said at half the normal processing speed. Then sluggishly he extended an arm to her, lazily wiggling his fingers to beckon her closer. She took the invitation with tentative surprise, scooting closer to the boy nodding off until they were just barely touching. Her figurative heart lurched a little as his arm came around her, cacooning her in a loose embrace.

“Better?”he mumbled, barely awake. She felt her cheeks flush at their proximity, all thoughts of fear and insecurity wiped from her mind instantaneously and replaced with the single all-consuming though: Steven is holding me.

“Y-yes,”Spinel stammered. She was surrounded on all sides by a comforting warmth that could only be Steven’s body heat. His arm around her back, his body protecting her front, there was nothing that could touch Spinel here. With nowhere else to put it, her free hand tentatively rested against his chest.

Daring herself to try to relax despite being wide awake now, Spinel allowed her head to very slowly lower onto Steven’s shoulder, her eyes never leaving her now sleeping companion. Absently her thumb stroked the back of the hand that was resting around her waist, attempting to calm herself with the simple grounding gesture, even though her senses felt on fire. It didn’t take long for her previous terror to melt away into something softer.

There was a stillness in sleep unmatched by any quiet Spinel had experienced before, even in the garden. She couldn’t help but stare, taking in the sight of her most important friend in the universe, trusting her to be so close to him at his most vulnerable. How many people got to see this – this total surrender and trust to someone when he was completely defenseless? Spinel hardly felt worthy of it – no, she knew she wasn’t worthy of it. And yet Steven gave it nonetheless, comforting her as best he could simply because he could. Her hand tightened around his instinctually, her thumb gently brushing over large, warm fingers. He was so kind, so good. She dared to lean in closer to allow their foreheads to touch, breathing in his warmth, his patience. She felt so safe, like the wounds of the past simply didn’t matter here.

(the ending is the same as in the full chapter, maybe go read it wink wink ;)

#making amends #fanfiction #stevinel #spineven #stevenxspinel #I never know what to tag it so fans of them just being buddies can find it #I feel like it's very black or white with this fandom you either hate it or love it

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jimmythejiver · 3 years

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For the first time in a long time I went to the movies in forever and then to Target. At Target I see some Godiva bars on discount yellow tags and I was ecstatic until I read 70% Cacao, Dark, Salted Caramel and was deflated.

Anyway that's how I felt about seeing The Green Knight. What you thought this was about chocolate?

No see since the pandemic I've been back on my perennial King Arthur kick. I've for a long time since I was a young preteen thought, someday I too will write my own King Arthur epic and it'll be gay, magical, gangster and culty too, but for now I'll make up my own stories for practice and then with every story I got attached too, it got too involved and convoluted to the point that when it came down to actually writing a novel, I threw it all away and made a space opera I only planned in two weeks and wrote in a month. Anyway...so now I've been writing this very gay, magical, gangster and culty take on Final Fantasy XV with my boyfriend and just fell in love with Somnus Lucis Caelum who nobody has any insight about him than to make him the Mordred to Ardyn's Arthur, which is a strange flex, but okay, I thought about what if I wrote a Dark Age prequel about Ardyn and Somnus, but Ardyn becomes king and Somnus his shogun and they play games of seduction and power because I'm twisted like that. Anyway...I was like I'm never going to write this and I have to keep making up characters based on FFXV characters and King Arthur tropes because there's not a lot of stories that take place during the Dark Ages, it's always some Roman Empire story, or High Middle Ages and FFXV gave no room for either society to happen after the fall of Solheim and the rise of King Somnus...so we left with Dark Ages, y'all, the King Arthur comparisons are obvious, but Ardyn is no Arthur and Somnus is no Mordred, Aera is only Guenevere if you make up an affair with Somnus, Gilgamesh is no Bedwyr/Bedivere, but uh...they both amputees and the oldest companions to their respective kings so...I guess. Anyway making an ancestor of Cor Leonis and deciding well he's Owain/Yvain, or am Ignis type as idk Sir Cai/Kay I guess, they both cook, but Cai's more like Seifer Almasy than any FF character... Anyway I'm losing people.

My plan was to just scrap the FFXV prequel, leave my Somnus ideas into Overtime (a gangster and gods story) and just plan an actual King Arthur adaptation. I'd have King Arthur the treasure hunter, leader of a warband turned founder of Camelot who fights giants, giant cats and dogheads, but also fights King Claudas of the Franks and King Aelle of the Saxons and Cerdic a Briton who puts in his lot with the Saxons, etc. It'd been a a glorified turf war, meanwhile Arthur's gotta make alliances with King Pelles, The Fisher King and his strange cult he's founded because, why yes I find the ends justifies the means prophecy of the Holy Grail Quest very culty because Christianity then does not resemble it now. Meanwhile you got the secondary plots of Mordred, Gawain, Lancelot, Percival, Tristam and other's going on because they matter and too many modern King Arthur stories sideline the knights.

So many have always sidelined Mordred as a final boss eldritch abomination in mortal flesh conceived of sin and give him no personality, or complex motives, or even just a relationship with Arthur. I also have noticed the general sidelining of Lancelot, or give him a chad villain upgrade if you must include him at all, and the villainizing of Gawain to the point that you don't even have to have Mordred, or Agravain as a catalyst shit stirrer in court, just slap Gawain's name on Liam Neeson in a top knot and you're good. Mordred can just be a child offscreen until last act...fuck that, while Morgan Le Fay can either be a villainess plotting her cabal through men, or a well-intentioned, ineffectual idiot. Fuck that.

Now Hollywood just be doing King Arthur first acts that suck ass, only for said director to get rewarded failing upwards by giving this same jerk the Aladdin remake. The tonally shitty, crammed in blockbuster mess of a cliche heroe's journey that sucks.

With that background I was excited for The Green Knight. I read an illustrative version as a kid, I read Tolkien's translation as a teenager, I read Simon Armitage's superior, but with liberties taken translation. I was prepped to go knowing that indie, or not they were going to make changes to weave the disjointed poem together. I'm excited that because this movie exists Project Guternberg's finally thrown Jessie Weston's prose rendition up on their website. I'll be reading that at some point when this blows over.

The movie adaptation makes a lot of...choices, many I wouldn't love, but would forgive had their been a payoff. There was none.

The journey was fine, the cinematography was a breath of fresh air after crappy slo mo, glossy action scenes ruined another. Guys, I don't think I want to see a Zack Snyder Excalibur, it'll marginally be better than Guy Ritchie, but that ain't saying anything. Leave Excalibur to the post-Star Wars 80s where it is impeccable for it's time. I liked Green Knight's breathable pacing, it's color palette's in the forests and mountains made up for the muddy grey of every Ridley Scott send up in the castles and villages in every other Dark Ages/Medieval story in the last I don’t know since the shitty 00′s. For all the dark tones when there was blues, greens, yellows or reds, they were vibrant in this movie to contrast the gloom of Britain. The soundtrack was good. This isn't all what makes a movie, but it enhances it so let's get to the story and what I did and didn't like.

Things I Liked: Gawain is still a novice in his career The Costume Dressing Everyone pronounces Gawain's name different. I pronounce it like Gwayne, or Guh Wayne, but here you got Gowen (like Owen), Gowan (like Rowan), or even Garlon who I'm pretty sure is the Fisher King's heir in some versions of that Arthurian story, so uh... The reference to Arthur slaying 960 men with his bare hands (Nennius for the win!) The Waste Land that is implied to be a site of a battle (an important aspect of the Arthurian landscape) The Fox companion No long grisly, drawn out hunting scenes. The Fox lives! No misogynist speeches

Things I'm Mixed: This being a dream, is the magic real? Are the giants? Is the Green Knight a figment of Gawain's imagination from a spell Morgan casted in him to hallucinate? Is Lord and Lady also figments? It's...a way to interpret the poem, but lazy and I don't see why it's got to all fantasy, or all dream...this movie makes it too vague you're stuck picking one camp than to accept it's a fantasy with dream and hallucinatory sequences.

Things I'm Meh: Morgan Le Fay as Gawain's mom. Look I fucking hate Morgause as a character and these two get merged and steal each other's aspects so much at this point the difference is who did they marry, King Urien or King Lot? Both are attributed to being Mordred's mom, Mordred is Gawain's brother...both practice magic depending on certain incarnations, both love and hate Arthur their brother and are in conflict with him. Saint Winifred. I actually liked this sequence, but I don't appreciate her as the tacked on wife in the later dream sequence as like...a contrast between the wife you should marry than the whore next door you don't respect anyway? I don't even know what lesson I'm supposed to get out of the damn dream sequence, or any of it? That Gawain should've married his girlfriend and then he'd be a just ruler? That he shouldn't be king? That he'd never have to make the same heartless, impartial choices? I don't know, he seemed like a king doing king shit because guess what? It never gets easier. Wars will be waged. The world didn't become better because he married the right woman, respected her and lived in obscurity. The world didn't become better because he made her his queen. We certainly don't know the world would be better Gawain had his head chopped off and dead XP They never reveal the Lord and the Green Knight as one and the same because of this shit.

Things I Hated: Arthur withdraws from the challenge because he's old. In poem he takes it on and Gawain takes it so he don't have to and he finds himself more disposable than the king. Gawain only takes the challenge because of arrogance. Arthur and Gawain had no prior personal relationship. I'd not have hated this so much if it wasn't compounded by it cancelling out the first two things. Gawain is portrayed as having no respect for his woman, or any woman, maybe his mother? He has to be pushed by Winifred to regain her head. Gawain is portrayed as arrogant, covetous and ready to pass the buck, or the bare minimum than have any honor or decency. It didn't matter the kid in the wasteland was shithead bandit, the way Gawain acted towards him, when he gets robbed, it almost feels like he deserved it and Gawain doesn't learn a damn lesson. I'll admit him taking the sword to cut his ropes and cutting his hands was a neat sequence, it shows him go from stupid, to almost clever and having will to survive...you know traits he had in the poem, but he stops showing these traits or growing. Basically Gawain has to be dragged kicking and screaming to help people and shows no fortitude when facing temptation, or when showing respect towards others, it's exhausting. You don't make this kind of journey story without character growth. Why are you skipping this? Also is it just me, or is this like when you take Frank Miller Batman and transport him onto a Bill Finger story? This is at best Thomas Malory Gawain (and this is charitable) transported on the earlier Pearl Poet's story. Stop it. It's not tonally correct and goes at odds with the story and the set up characterization you'd need to tell it. Speaking of which, you know how I get through the oof... of Liam Neeson Gawain in Excalibur? By pretending he Agravain instead. Here...I don't even think Gawain could pass as Mordred in spite of his covetous nature, lust and entitlement. Why? because I don't think even Mordred is this dumb to warrant this hubris. Essel being invented as a tacked on love interest just to be shit on utterly and for what? I don't think I have much commentary here as there is no Essel I'm aware of to compare, or stack up. I just notice this trope of like...usually if you include a sex worker in Hollywood she often has a heart of gold, she often has her own sense of values that goes at odds with society, but is more true and less hypocritical than a privileged lady’s. I thought that's what they would've done with the added trope of back at home sweetheart to contrast and pit her against the despicable femme fatale of Lady Bertilak and her adultery and her ladyship...and I'm glad they didn't...but you did nothing with Essel than to shit on her for existing when you made her exist, you know. Lady Bertilak being portrayed as the seductress devil incarnate. Look I know adultery is a touchy taboo, but uh her and Gawain hit it off in the poem, dammit! Her values and his values come to clash, but here it's played off as Gawain is stupid and covetous and Lady Bertilak wants to prove something because...? If my brother's theory that she's a figment of Morgan Le Fay's magic, then I'll take this as a lesson of Gawain is impulsive and covetous and his mom knows it, but he don't want to fuck his mom, but he wants her power, and Morgan wants to teach him a lesson... I guess. Hey we don't have misogynist speeches in this movie, but we'll make sure to have the movie drip with it with no point, or commentary. Pass. Lord guilting, extracting and initiating the same sex kiss and only once. Poem automatically better that Gawain don't have to keep being reminded to keep his part of the bargain and he does it willingly more than once. What he doesn't do is give up his belt...gods how did we get more homophobic as a society that the homoeroticism here is worse? Catholics of the middle ages officially had no issue doing same sex, passionate kissing until it lead to sex. The Ending: The gods damn ending. In the movie as is, Gawain waits to uphold his end of the bargain and get his head chopped off. He imagines, even though we don't get any fuzzy or distortion to indicate this is a dream, but I already knew this was coming, he runs away and comes home, is regarded a hero, he sees his lady, takes her from behind and if you saw Brokeback Mountain (I didn't, but DJ has) you know this is a sign of disrespect to women. He gets her knocked up, pays her off for the kid she wants to keep, he is crowned king, marries the ghostly saint lady he helped retrieve her head earlier from a lake in the movie (this right here is the damn tip off). There's no more dialogue by this point and everything is montaging, so you know by now it's a dream, though nothing is out of focus. He rules as a heartless king, his whore son dies from war he waged, he has a daughter, his wife dies. Gawain then takes off the belt that would've saved his life and his head falls off. This would've been the one good twist, except... In this sequence of events he never had his head cut off so uh... now we back in present day. He decides not to bitch out, Green Knight in a sexy way is like "now off with your head," movie cuts to credits with no resolve...uh what the fuck? What the fuck? This is not good. You wasted the one twist in your dream when idk, you could've...

How I'd fix it: No dream sequence at all. No Incident At Owl Creek twist. Gawain comes home a hero and survivor of this game and ordeal. He wears this belt of shame. He becomes a well-renowned knight, but he bears a shame. One day he goes to take off his belt and his head falls off because he cheated to get this belt and to survive this encounter. There. Done. Improved your high concept movie that couldn't play any of the lessons straight from the damn poem without making everyone an asshole for no reason! Ugh! But nope you had to end it on we don’t know if Gawain lives or dies...because...it's dream magic made from his momma's witchcraft...?

Last Thoughts So then post-credits scene because Marvel because Pirates Of The Caribbean existed. A white girl who looks nothing like Gawain's daughter we see who didn’t pay off, or any child I can remember through this whole movie picks up King Arthur's crown that dream Gawain inherited and puts it on her head. Who is this girl? Are we gonna have an indie equivalent of of the Marvel Movie Universe/Universal Horror Monsters thing with ancient British legends? We gonna get a Life Of Saint Patrick next that crosses over? I don't know. What is this?

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like-i-need-a-hole-in-my-head · 3 years

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100 good questions to ask your friends at 4:02 am when you can’t sleep (can also function as an asks list)

Are you bothered by your cosmic insignificance? no

Do you mourn for a place or person you’ve never known? yes

Do you really think there is somebody for everybody? no

Do you place any value in gender roles? I don’t place any value in gender.

Do you have to be related to be family? Definitions in advance, please.

Are your platonic relationships just as valuable as romantic or family ones? Me personally? No.

Are you in love? Do you want to be? Yes. Yes.

Do you think you can put love into categories (family, platonic, romantic, etc.) or is it just one general sensation? Categories.

Would you be happy with a life without romance? No

Are you always going to be a little in love with somebody? Yes

Would you change your appearance if you could? No except to be invisible to enhance my already considerable spying powers

Do you have the feeling you’ve lost something you might have had in another life - whether it be a person, a place, a world, a language, etc.? Yes

Do you believe in reincarnation? Yes

Would you want to be reincarnated? It’s a bit late to ask now

Do you think you’re special, or just another person amongst billions? Can you be both? Yes and yes

Do theoretical ethical debates have any value? Is it important people discuss ethical dilemmas, e.g. the trolley problem? Yes and yes, but understand the value of considering your own values and don’t take it too seriously.

Did you have imaginary friends? Do you still have them? No and n/a

Are you religious? Do you think your religion is ‘correct’? No and no

If you aren’t religious, do you wish you were? Why? No and why would I want to be?

Do you want a grand adventure? Another? Depends on if I get free ibuprofen

Do you have somebody, whether it be a friend or stranger, who you think you could have loved if the circumstances were different? No. I love you for what you are, not what you could be.

How long does it take you to fall in love with somebody? Is the sensation of ‘falling in love’ or ‘being in love’ better? How long is a piece of string?

Is love about convenience or something more? Can it be about both? Wha? Love is anything BUT convenient

Do you think you really understand your gender and sexuality? yes

How fluid is your concept of gender and sexuality? I don’t care so I guess that’s fluid?

What’s the most life-changing choice you’ve made so far? To continue living

Are you afraid of growing old? Older? No.

Would you want to live forever? How about for a billion years, a million, a millennium, a century? No.

Do you believe in some form of god/s? Some form? yes.

Are your choices fated or of your own free will? We make our choices in the circumstances in which we find ourselves.

Do you have a hunch about how you’re going to die? I hope not.

Do you believe in star signs? For entertainment

How old do you have to be to be considered an adult? I was an adult when I was 6

Was your childhood happy? Yes

What are you missing from your life? Discipline

Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along? No, people like me are too sensible to hang out with people like me

Do opposites attract? Depends on if you’re a person or a magnet

Is your life what you expected it would be five years ago? Holy shit no

Do you know what you want out of life? No

What makes a person ‘good’? Are you a ‘good person’? Actions (vs intentions). I’m pretty good.

What fundamentally matters to you? Whether you leave me alone when I need to be left alone and whether you can tell whether I just want to be alone vs need to be alone.

Is freewill an illusion? Depends on the scale.

Do you create art? How do you define art? Do something that makes someone feel something.

How often do you lie? Is all lying inherently bad? Are you generally truthful? I’m pretty honest but I lie by omission and can get very technical when I need to be. Lying by itself, like any aspect of language, is neither good nor bad.

Do you want to be remembered after your death? What for? No.

Is true world peace ever possible? Sure. We just need a dictator strong enough to subdue everyone. No more fighting. Peace does not mean people won’t suffer.

Do you have to suffer to truly understand the human condition? What is the human condition? How can you really experience it? ffs just be human

Are you free? Will you ever be? Can anyone be truly free? Freedom is overrated and misunderstood.

Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? I hope so

What do you expect from a friend or partner? Just understand me

What question could you ask to find out the most about a person? Are you willing to complete this questionnaire?

Do you justify all your beliefs or have you just inherited/absorbed some? Inherited but contemplated

Which beliefs do you have that is most likely to be wrong? That any of this matters in any significant way

Can humans really understand the complete nature of the universe, space and time? We don’t know the complete nature of the universe space and time so how can we understand it?

Is a conscious what makes someone a person? A conscience? No.

What do you think about artificial intelligence? I think it’s often conflated with machine learning

Do you thinks humans are obsessed with escapism (books, video games, movies, etc.)? Are you looking for an escape? Do you think that’s a bad thing? Yes. Yes. No.

Are we eventually going to ‘run out’ of new combinations for music, art, language, etc.? Is there a limit to human creativity? No. No.

What do you think the next era of music will be like? No idea and don’t want to predict it.

What do you think the next era of fashion will be like? No idea and don’t want to predict it.

Do we live in tumultuous times, or do they just seem so strange because we’re living in them? These are objectively tumultuous times, IMO. Other times have been more tumultuous.

Would you want to meet a clone of yourself? Would you like them? No and no.

How confident are you, really? Confidence is A+, self esteem is C-

How consistent is your perception of time? Depends on how cold it is

What age should people be allowed to vote? Should children and teenagers be allowed to vote? Vote on what?

How do you feel about the idea ‘an eye for an eye’? It’s lazy justice

What’s the worse thing a person can be? Hopeless

How do you feel about monogamy? I approve

Can you be in love with someone and still fall in love with someone else? Yes

What’s the tragedy of your life? Bias towards inaction

Would your life make a good play? Definitely

Should people be prosecuted for crimes that weren’t considered crimes at the time? Generally no, but technicalities should not impede justice

Would you fight for your country? Do you feel a sense of loyalty to your nation? I do in my own way. Yes but I wonder why sometimes

Do you believe in gender equality in every aspect? Yes, unless equal means the same.

Do we have a moral obligation to care for others? To what extent? Yes. As much as is needed.

Do you crave approval and/or praise? Waaaaaay too much

Is there comedy in all tragedy and tragedy in all comedy? Yes.

Are you ever going to be satisfied? I hope not

When you are sad, do you listen to music that conveys your emotions or music that makes you happy? I live for sad music and fucking wallow in it

Is your music organised by mood or sensation or do you just listen to everything at any time? My music is organised by geography and time and whether I’m on a motorcycle or boat

Would you marry a friend if they needed you to (e.g. for citizenship)? Unlikely

Are you a deep person? I’ve been told so, but <shrug>

Given the chance to live your life on Mars, with no hope of returning to Earth but with the promise of scientific discovery and glory, would you take it? Don’t care about glory, but if the scientific discovery were useful and I were the only one who could do it, yeah.

Are you who people think you are? I can’t read minds.

Do you think you would be happier if you had been born a different gender, sexuality, race, ethnicity, nationality or religion? You will kill yourself if you go down rabbit holes like this.

What’s your toxic trait? Are you trying to improve yourself and fix it? I disengage. Nope.

Do you anger easily? Yep.

Are you a jealous person? Yep.

If you lost all your memories, would you have the same personality? No.

Given the chance to reset your life (with none of the knowledge you currently have), would you take it? Probably not

Is hate as strong as love? Who do you hate? Hate is as strong as loyalty. I don’t hate any person, I hate what certain people do.

Do you speak multiple languages? Which do you dream in? What language would you want to learn? Yes. I mostly dream in English but also some of the others. Arabic.

Do you draw meaning from your dreams, or do you disregard them? Consider and then disregard

How would you describe yourself when you love? Do you love forcefully, unconditionally, gently, quietly, desperately? Fiercely, loyally, unconventionally

Is unrequited love real love? Yes unless you think love has to be reciprocated, which is incorrect

Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you? I can’t read minds.

Are you overly analytical? hahahahahahaha “overly” does not come close

Do you ever feel that you are really a terrible person, and only act good out of societal or some other obligation? I think everyone feels this way unless you’re not human

Do you believe in magic? Are you superstitious? Yes and yes

What belief do you have that isn’t logically grounded, but you still firmly believe in? People are inherently good.

source

I hate long posts / I know this isn’t how it’s supposed to be done / I’m on vacation folks / saving you time

#personal

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kimera20 · 4 years

Text

Fave AU

Dannymay 2020 day 15

Also in AO3 and FF

“Clocky!” a small white haired ghost crashed into the arm of the larger one hugging the limb thigly.

“Hello my young Phantom.Did you have good dreams?” Clockwork the Time Master asked to his charge, a young half ghost of five years of age.

“Yea! I got a dream about space! And Nocty was there we played astunauts!” Danny told his caretaker.

“It’s astronaut” Clockwork corrected, “and I’m glad you had fun. Now what about breakfast”

“Yay! Breakfast! Can we have pancakes?” Danny asked giving the older ghost puppy eyes.

“You know my pancakes are not as good as my waffles” Clockwork said, he is still learning how to do those.

“But I want pancakes” Danny said sadly.

“Oh alright we’ll have pancakes” Clockwork relented, he really couldn't say no to his little halfa.

It's been a few months since Danny started to live with Clockwork. The Time Master had found the half ghost alone in the middle of the barrens in a tiny island crying his eyes out calling for his parents. Curiously Clockwork saw what future the young ghost could have, he saw many things and in most of them he saw a protector, a compassionate ghost and a hero. In the few left he only saw a sad ending. It has been a while since Clockwork found a ghost with a future so bright. It would be interesting to help the child make his way towards it.

He approached the child with intention to help him to go home and become the hero he foresaw. The child was scared at first, which was good, he was a stranger after all, after introductions and telling him they were both ghosts, (yes really really) he offered a ride home and got a response he had not foreseen, the first of many to come. Danny’s parents were ghost hunters, (thing that he already knew) but Danny was afraid. He thought that his parents wouldn't love him anymore because they said ghosts were bad and now that he was a ghost he was bad too.

Clockwork didn't like that reasoning, he told Danny that he wasn't bad, that ghost were like people in that they could be good or bad, or both. Danny didn't understood most of his speech but he got that Clockwork wasn't going to hurt him which made him relax and do the second unexpected thing. He transformed into human.

Clockwork cursed (inside his head of course, there was a five years old in front of him), he knew of only other halfa and he wasn't the best role model, quite the contrary to be honest. Now Clockwork had a dilemma, humans couldn't help a half ghost with all their needs, but ghost were prejudiced about half ghosts thanks to that Plasmius.

His thought track was interrupted by a panicking child going through the small rock island, (right, human now, ghost roks pass through him) acting quickly Clockwork grabbed the child and made sure he wouldn't fall to the endless abyss below. Danny clinged to him and didn't let go, no matter what the older ghost tried. With a resigned sight Clockwork decided on the best course of action that would still bring a bright future, he took the boy towards his lair.

Now with a child Clockwork had to do some modifications to his tower, mostly to make sure Danny wouldn't pass through the floor if he transformed without meaning, which happened more times that he cared to count. He had to make a room for him, it needed decorations but those will come later. he had to acquire both human and ghost food, he only eat for pleasure but a child, even a ghost one, truly needed food. He almost forgets clothes and toys, he knew children needed things but didn’t imagine it would be so many.

Danny was like sponge of knowledge, Clockwork found that out when he started to teach him things, mostly to be able to transform at will and control his powers. He also found that Danny was the biggest space fan he seen, it was adorable to see him look at the stars in a huge mirror Clockwork conjured just for him to see any of the stars in the universe at any given time (except for the very beginning of the universe, it hurt his brain to just see it, much more if he tried to understand it).

The first time he realized that he was the guardian of a child, (parent is still a too strong word for it), was when he had to leave the tower to a meeting with the Observants. Danny, at hearing that he had to go, clinged to him like a koala and didn't let him go, Clockwork had to make a duplicate to go in his place, good thing the eyeballs didn't even notice. That also made him realize that he needed help, someone he trusted to look after Danny and dont hurt him for being a halfa. The face that Nocturne made when he told him he had a child was going to amuse him for the rest of eternity.

“What are we doing today?” Danny asked while eating his pancake, it wasn’t the most pretty but his Clocky had made it for him, beside it was tasty.

“Hmm I don't know. What would you like to do?” Clockwork asked, he had a free day, no plans and totally open to suggestions.

“Let’s go to the park!” Danny said excited.

“The park?” Clockwork asked.

“Yea! With trees and insects and frogs and dogs and swings and slides and-” Danny keep listing other thing one could found in a park trying to explain to Clockwork what a park was.

Clockwork listened to his charge and tried to think a safe place to go. Most of the places with trees and animals in the Ghost Zone was dangerous for a young child. The human parks would be better but Danny couldn't control his transformations yet and he didn't want Danny to feel bad for not controlling it, besides if that happened in the vicinity of humans things would turn badly.

“Does it needs to have swings and slides?” Clockwork asked.

“I dunno” Danny shrugged, he just wanted to go play outside.

“Alright, I think I know where to go” Clockwork said.

“Yay!” Danny cheered.

“But you have to change to clean clothes before we go” Clockwork said.

“Ok Clocky” Danny said before rushing to his room.

After a change of clothes Clockwork took Danny to a island with ghost grass and trees, it wasn't big enough to have dangerous animals around and if any appeared Clockwork has sure he was able to keep them away from them.

Danny played in the grass and between the trees, the child had a lot of imagination and Clockwork joined one or two games, the rest of the time he observed carefully to his charge and the surroundings. It was in between that actions that he lost sight of Danny, Clockwork panicked for a second, took another to look around and five more to find the halfa. And a ghost dog enjoying the pets Danny gave it.

“Clocky look! I found a doggy!” Danny said delighted.

“I see that” Clockwork said watching the dog carefully for any sign of aggression, he found none.

“His name is Cujo” Danny declared.

“Is it? How would you know?” Clockwork asked, he didn't remember having that kind of book around.

“It’s in his collar” Danny said pointing at the tag in the spiked collar.

“It’s a good name” Clockwork commented, he didn’t know what to think of the dog.

“Yea! A good name for a good boy” Danny said while giving belly rubs to Cujo.

“Alright, is time to go home now” Clockwork said, it was near lunch hour and he wasn’t going to let Danny go hungry.

“Aww, already? But I just found Cujo. Can’t we play a little more?” Danny pleaded.

“I’m sorry but it's getting late, maybe you’ll play again when we come back” Clockwork said.

“Can we keep him?” Danny asked.

“Keep him?” Clockwork repeated, he wasn’t sure about that.

“Yea! Like a pet! We don't have a pet” Danny said while making puppy eyes, he had lifted the dog and hugged it to his chest, the dog was also giving him the puppy eyes. Clockwork didn't stand a chance.

They returned to the tower with a new pet, Clockwork was making plans to dog proof his tower.

#Danny Phantom #dannymay2020

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arlingtonpark · 3 years

Text

Harrow the Ninth Act I Thoughts

This is all your fault, @ghostmartyr. If you hadn’t reblogged what seemed like heavy metal boy band fanart, I wouldn’t be in this hole. And for that, I hate you.

So.

When I first encountered the Locked Tomb online, I couldn’t tell if it was a story about edgy, neogothic, teenaged angst, or something better than that.

Turns out, it’s both.

But in a good way.

I love it. It’s great.

It’s unabashed, it’s thoughtful, it’s entertaining, it’s suspenseful.

Gideon the Ninth is finished, and after starting Harrow the Ninth, I decided to blog about it as I go.

I’ll be doing one post for every act of the book. I hope.

Let’s start with our new main character, Harrow. Newly reborn as a god and one of the only survivors of the last book.

So….

Right now, Harrow’s…

Um.

She’s uh…

-gestures at everything-

She’s fucked.

Fucked, broken, in the shit, started godhood on the wrong side of the bed.

200 babies were killed in the name of birthing her. Her parents died in front of her because of what she did. Death has always seemed to follow her, and she carries the burden of all that death.

Harrow despises her existence and wishes she were dead because of the circumstances of her birth, and yet for that very reason she is committed to living, because if she dies, all those sacrifices would be null.

She takes up the duties of governing the Ninth, she applies herself rigorously to mastering necromancy, and when the opportunity arises to become a lyctor, she jumps at it.

Harrow does this because it’s why all those people had to die. She was birthed to carry the Ninth’s legacy; its traditions and obligations and to some extent its very existence.

The twisted nature of the Ninth and her parents is inseparable from that legacy, so in a sense it was that legacy that led to her infanticidal birth, but regardless, this legacy is all she has. It’s all she was ever meant to have. And so she devoted herself to it.

Now that she’s a lyctor and her house’s future will be guaranteed, but to do it, she had to sacrifice Gideon, whom she loved.

It’s more of the same shit from her perspective: more people dying for her sake. 200 babies die to grant her obscene necromantic talent, her girlfriend dies so she can gain even more power. Harrow doesn’t mean to step on innocent people to get what she wants…but that’s always how it’s turned out for her.

But to add insult to injury, even after all she’s sacrificed, she still didn’t get exactly what she wanted.

Her house will have a future, but she can never return to it. She’s essentially divorced from the only thing that gave her life meaning.

She can never return to her old life; to the extent she saw that as desirable, she can’t have that. Her old life is gone forever.

Something also went wrong with her ascension to godhood. She’s violently sick, mentally unstable, and the powers she should have are…half baked, for lack of a better word.

Nobody said you could get hungover from ascending to godhood. Harrow should sue.

It’s like going in to surgery to remove a tumor and coming out lobotomized.

Is she even immortal?

It all stings of pointlessness. All that effort for nothing.

Worse than that; She lost everything. Her home, her love, her pride and dignity.

Her only purpose in life now is to fight these hell beasts that she’s never heard of before. Happy days ahead, surely.

Oh, and one of the people she’ll have to work with is named Gideon.

Does God hate her?

And then there’s God.

This guy is sus as hell.

He’s gracious and humble. Perpetually calm and soft spoken. Empathetic and understanding. That’s what He’s like in person.

But He’s…maybe the villain? I guess.

God works in mysterious ways, and I have no damn clue what His are, but it’s probably ugly.

Yes, He’s a cordial Dude…but he’s still the God-emperor of a galactic undead empire.

Dude wears a crown made from the bones of dead babies FFS.

Not to be accusatory, but this guy definitely has skeletons in his closet.

-bu-dum-tish-

One of the things that really got my attention while reading this series is how the magic system in this world is depicted. Usually, in fantasy stories, the magic system is depicted as being morally neutral. Good guys use it, bad guys it, but the magic itself just is.

The Locked Tomb Trilogy isn’t like that.

Necromancy is bad. Perverse, even.

All the necromancers are frail and sickly. Practicing it is deleterious on the body. Doing too much too fast with it causes even more pronounced harm. As in, bleeding from your sweat glands.

Necromancy works by manipulating the life force of living beings and, primarily, the death force those being give off when they die.

The forces of nature that necromancy utilizes are (apparently) fundamental to the universe, akin to the laws of nature, but the use of those forces in this way are clearly a perversion.

It’s sort of like a bad tv show, like Sword Art Online. Sure, the things that went into making the show are natural parts of the world, but you just can’t put those things together like that.

John and his empire epitomize that.

All known beings in the universe are fundamentally thalergetic in nature. They are beings who radiate life energy. Except for the planets of the empire. Those planets and the star they orbit are thanergetic in nature.

They literally radiate death. And they are apparently one of a kind in that regard.

John is the first necromancer. John used his newly harnessed powers to “resurrect” multiple planets that had died.

Except he didn’t really resurrect anything, he turned them into an entirely new form of being using his entirely new form of science that uses some kind of mechanism that doesn’t occur naturally.

What I’m getting at here is that everything about John, his power, and his empire is artificial. Man-made. Perhaps even John-made.

We don’t actually know what happened during the Resurrection. What killed off the planets, how John attained his God-like powers, and what life John lived before it.

Oh, yeah, and every planet the empire conquers is systematically killed over generations to fuel their necromancer’s powers.

Every planet God touches literally dies.

One thing I appreciate about this series is how layered the story is.

The Locked Tomb series is a fun, irreverent romp. It’s about allowing the past to rest in peace. It’s also surprisingly political.

The metaphor is pretty blunt: it’s about capitalism. What’s more, the metaphor seems to be from a progressive or maybe even socialist perspective.

Ok, so hear me out on this. This is less fan theory than speculation about the author’s intentions.

The empire is a society built on a system that requires them to move from planet to planet, gradually killing those planets until they have to evacuate and move to a new one.

This process of gradual death takes generations to play out, so apparently they don’t even consider it to be an event that happens.

The heart of this system is necromancy, a perverse science that is ultimately derived from natural phenomena.

This system places the most powerful necromancer atop a literal throne and worships them as God.

God’s disciples are the lyctors, second only to Him in power. They attained that power by a very special process.

The lyctoral process is exploitative. It requires the necromancer to use their cavalier as a sacrifice and to turn their soul into a power source.

The lyctoral process is built around domination. The necromancer, in sacrificing their cavalier, subsumes the cavalier’s soul into their being to gain power.

The lyctoral process is dehumanizing. The cavalier is degraded from a person to a mere battery, but the necromancer is degraded in a way as well. The necromancer can never return to their house, or any of the other houses for that matter. Instead they must fight and die for God in his battle against the Revenant Beasts.

If you’re progressive, this may sound familiar to you.

Relationships of exploitation, domination, and dehumanization. A society built around perversions. That rewards people with talent in those perversions with idolatry. That cold-heartedly and shortsightedly extracts every drop of usable resources from a planet until it is dead, then moves on to the next one.

To a socialist, this may sound a lot like capitalism.

Saying that is already bold enough for me, so I won’t try to argue that it’s a one to one allegory. Necromancy equals the profit motive, lyctors represent the relationship between the bourgeoisie and the proletariat (So I guess that means the non-lyctor necromancers are the petit bourgeoisie) and the empire is humanity.

You could make a case for it, but the hot takes in this post are already pretty spicy, so…

OMG Mercymorn. XD

Mercymorn is my favorite out of the new characters. She’s a bitch.

Snide, rude, assertive, bitchy, and standoffish. No, it’s not that I want her to step on me, I just can’t get enough of her interactions.

I guess in real life she wouldn’t be fun to be around, but as a character in a book, she steals every scene. Her arrogant and bitchy remarks always make me laugh.

My one wish heading in to Act II: that Mercymorn is in charge of Ianthe’s training.

Just so she can kick her ass for not measuring up to her standards.

#locked tomb #locked tomb spoilers #htn #htn spoilers #bury the dead but not your gays

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ncisjes · 4 years

Text

I’d find you in every lifetime

Based off this beautiful gifset by @everythingismadefromdreams and this drabble by @mcgeekle where Ziva is prosecuting a case the team worked. Kudos to them both for creating this amazing AU I am having so much fun writing in. Also a huge thank you to @mcgeekle for letting me continue this.

@benditlikepress @rareshbones

Read on AO3//FF

Take Your Time

Sipping her second drink of the night, she sits at the bar alone watching what feels like the same old news on ZNN. Being stood up was a rare occurrence for her, but this time she really could not fault the man. In the past two weeks they had agreed to get drinks after work on three separate occasions, and all three times she had bailed to work late.

The Simmons case was moving along on schedule, but it was still too early to tell how the jury was leaning. Her opening argument was flawless, but the expert witnesses had not fared as well as she had hoped under the scrutiny of the defendants defense team. Their one hundred thousand dollar an hour retainer was clearly paying off for their client.

Regardless of whatever lead the defense had, she was still determined as ever to win this case. Being new to DC, she needed to establish herself as a capable prosecutor. Her track record here had a much slower start than in New York, but that was mostly suffering through learning the quirks of the system and the judges preferences. She always knew the legal field was cutthroat, but D.C. gave New York a run for its money.

Luckily for her, the jury had yet to hear from the investigators whose findings built her entire case. She had planned to call Leroy Jethro Gibbs as her first witness, but as life would have it an emergency case had popped up keeping him and his team from attending the hearing.

Though it had been a month since she had seen him, she had to admit she found herself thinking about Special Agent DiNozzo quite a lot lately. While his delivery could have been better, his charm was what intrigued her to invite him back to her office to try his luck again at asking her out once the hearing had concluded. There was just something about him that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Wondering what he would be doing on a Friday night like tonight, she imagined him sweet talking his way into some unsuspecting co-ed’s bed for the night.

Taking a long slow sip of her drink, she scans the room in hopes of finding someone to take home herself. Her eyes begin sizing up each prospect, noting their features and what she would like to do with them. Her gaze locks on a brunette that is all legs with grayish brown eyes which jogs her memory of a night a few months back. She cannot remember the woman’s name, but the curl of her tongue is still very vivid in Ziva’s mind. Seeing her arm wrapped around the blonde sitting next to her, Ziva continues to scour the room in hopes of repeating the ecstasy her mind just recalled.

Her search comes up empty as everyone in the bar has seemingly paired off. She’s about to signal for her tab and call it a night when she spots him out of the corner of her eye. He’s leaning over the bar talking to the blonde bartender who’s name always escapes Ziva. She laughs and leans over the counter, not only matching Tony’s stance but giving him a much better view down her shirt, Ziva is sure. Her fingers play with the condensation on her glass as she waits for him to notice her. He doesn’t disappoint, leaving the bartender without a second glance a few moments later and hastily making his way to her.

“Ziva David. Fancy finding you here.” Tony leans on the stool next to her.

“Hello Special Agent DiNozzo.”

“I see you’ve forgotten my name all ready.” He fakes offense.

“It is a lawyer thing. We have to be proper in court and it transcends into our personal lives.”

“Deflecting really doesn’t help your case here counselor.”

“I have not forgotten your name, Tony, and I see you have not forgotten your charm.”

“So you do find me charming.”

“I would not go that far.” She smirks.

“So what’s a girl like you doing here alone on a Friday night?”

“Who says I am alone?”

“This seat is pushed too far in for someone to have just gone to the bathroom. Unless of course you’re waiting for someone, but judging by your empty drink and the condensation collecting on it you’ve been waiting for quite a while. Our hot shot lawyer from New York couldn’t have been stood up, now could she?” Returning the victorious smirk she had given him moments before.

“Putting your investigative skills to use on your off time?”

“Only if it means I can sit down here.”

“I do not think that is a good idea.” She cautions him, her eyes going from playful to serious.

“Ah come on, who is going to see us? There’s none of you legal types in here. Plus I’m not your witness. Gibbs is.”

“But you are still a part of his team which makes-”

He waves his hand to shush her, causing her to balk at him.

“One drink.” He holds up his pointer finger as if to make it concrete that they’re only going to have a single cocktail. Somehow she finds herself relenting.

Taking his seat, Tony waves to the bartender he just abandoned to call her over. Arms crossed over her chest she stares back at him, not moving a muscle. He winks and makes the come hither motion with his finger, hoping that all can be forgotten with a really good tip on his tab. She scoffs, throwing the towel she is holding to the ground and walks through the swinging door to the back.

“Guess we won’t be served by her any time soon.” Tony comments, shifting his body towards Ziva. Before she can respond the other bartender approaches.

“Hey, sorry about that. Heidi can take things a little too personal sometimes. I’m Jack. What can I get you?”

“Scotch on the rocks for me and for-”

“I will have another mojito, Jack, thank you.” Ziva answers, effectively cutting Tony off.

“Sure thing.” Jack smiles and winks at her as he saunters off, causing Tony’s jealousy to spike for some unknown reason.

“So, you come here often?” Tony asks, drawing Ziva’s attention back to him.

“Is that what you really wanted to ask me? Generic pick up lines usually work to get girls to take you home with them?”

“I didn’t know that offer was on the table.” He leers at her, grabbing an ice cube from her drink and popping it into his mouth.

“No I do not come here often, and no it is not on the table.” She glares at him.

Jack arrives with their drinks, breaking the small amount of tension that had built up. Tony pays in cash and raises his glass to Ziva.

“To future offers. May they be successful and enjoyable for us both.” He gives her a big toothy grin before touching his glass to hers and taking a swig; his eyes never leaving hers.

Ziva is the first one to break and look away, muttering something under her breath in Hebrew but still finding herself smiling before taking a long drink.

“So tell me, how does the rising star of Mossad find herself practicing law in America?”

“I see you have done your research.”

“It is what I do for a living.”

“Not well enough clearly or you would know the answer. How did one make the jump from Baltimore P.D. to N.C.I.S. with such subpar skills?”

“Answering my question with a question? Deflecting won’t work with me. I use the same tactic all the time on the job. Nice to know you’re doing your own research on me too though.” He winks at her as he takes another sip of his drink.

“For the case-”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night. Now my question?”

Their gazes lock and the power struggle begins between them, sizing the the other up, their pupils dilating and contracting with each breath. Finally giving in, Ziva breaks away to look at the bar door closing before her eyes settle on the ice in her drink, her hand fidgeting with the straw.

“After serving in the Israeli army I joined Mossad at my own volition. I advanced quickly through the ranks, earning awards for my exemplary skills and talents. I had just become a handler when I decided to leave and come to America.”

“What made you do that?”

“My brother.”

Tony stares at her intently but does not push the subject. He can sense she is having difficulty discussing this. She takes a long swig of her drink before continuing.

“He cautioned me about promoting any higher, said I did not know what I was getting myself into or who I was really working for. As a handler, I was given more access and told more secrets, but I still had some plausible deniability in the big picture of how Mossad operates. It was not until he was killed three months later that I realized he was right.”

Tony’s eyes study her body language as she tells him the bits and pieces of what seems like a much longer and much more painful story than what she is letting on. He doesn’t push the subject, instead letting the silence fall comfortably between them.

“You did not ask me.” She comments after a few moments pass and the drinks lessen in their glasses.

“What's that?”

“The one question everyone wants to know; how he died.”

He doesn’t meet her eyes as he finishes his drink.

“I figured if you wanted to share you would.”

She twirls the last of her mojito in her glass, watching the clear liquid dance through the crystal ice cubes. Pausing as if she is really considering divulging the information.

“He killed a member of the secret service, Special Agent Caitlyn Todd. He was killed shortly after by what was reported as a terrorist bombing but really was Mossad cleaning up their mess.”

Tony’s whole body tenses, not only because he knew Special Agent Todd but because he remembered the bombing that occurred following her death. The reports played for days on ZNN of the horrific injuries people had suffered caused by excessive shrapnel intended to inflict the most pain. The death toll seemed to climb by the second.

“After his death I was obsessed with getting revenge. I had already lost a sister to a Hamas bombing and to have my brother taken from me the same way… I was determined to bring whoever took him from me forward. When I found out it was ordered by my own director… I could no longer remain loyal to an organization that operated that way.”

Grabbing her glass, she drains the last of her drink before slamming it back on the bar nearly causing it to shatter.

“I decided to come to America to bring justice for those who could not get justice for themselves.”

Her eyes are downcast as her fingers play with the condensation on her glass once again. Tony takes a moment to collect himself before tentatively reaching to touch her shoulder.

“Hey, I’m sorry for your loss, and I’m glad you’re here.”

She gives him a shy smile, leaning into his touch. They stare at each other for a few moments before Tony breaks the contact.

“Worked a case with Kate Todd. She was a good Agent.”

Ziva’s eyes widen in shock, not only because he knew her but that they both were affected by the same event.

“I am sorry for your loss.”

“No, I’m sorry to end your night on such a downer. Didn’t mean to bring up such painful memories.”

“It is alright. I did not mind spending it with you.”

The words fall out of her mouth before she realizes what she’s said. Luckily she is saved by a man interrupting them.

“Hey, Tony, sorry to bother you.” He leans on the bar beside him.

“No worries McInterruptus. Ziva David, this is Timothy McGee, the other and less attractive member of Team Gibbs.”

Ziva smiles at the glare he gives Tony before extending her hand.

“It is nice to put a face to the name. I read your report in the Simmons case on how the device’s design was flawed and ultimately caused his death. I was amazed by the immense detail you used and then I found out you have a degree in Biomedical Engineering from Johns Hopkins and a degree in Computer Forensics from MIT. Very impressive.”

“Oh, you’re the prosecutor Tony wouldn’t shut up about and the boss wished he would have sent me to check up on instead.”

Ziva laughs as Tony strikes McGee across the chest.

“Quiet McTattletale.”

“One in the same.” Ziva adds, still laughing.

“Well it’s very nice to meet you Ziva. Tony I hate to steal you away but Abby had too much to drink and is in the bathroom puking. Jardine is in there with her but she’s probably cleaning every surface. We’re probably going to have to carry her out.”

“I told you to watch her Probie.”

“Yeah, you try taking her drink away when she’s ranting about people who say they’re vegetarians but eat chicken.”

“Good point.”

Tony stands to leave, pushing in the chair as he does. He stops to turn to Ziva before walking away.

“Don’t move, I’ll walk you out.”

She doesn’t understand why she listens.

A few moments later Tony and McGee emerge from the back of the bar with Abby between them, each of her arms slung over their shoulders. Ziva sees a woman exit quickly from behind them, clutching her bag tightly to her as if not to touch anything. The group stops in front of her as Abby begins to babble.

“Who’s this? Tony, she's pretty. You’re very pretty.”

“Not now, Abs.”

Tony motions for Ziva to follow them and she grabs her briefcase from the bottom of the bar before walking behind them.

There is a cab waiting outside and McGee drops Abby’s arm to open the door before getting in on the opposite side. Tony struggles to keep Abby upright as she goes limp in his arms. Ziva comes up from behind to grab her other side and help get her into the car. She settles in the backseat with her head in McGee’s lap.

“Tony did you get her number? Get her number!” Abby calls out as Tony moves to close the door.

“We have her number Abby.”

“It was nice meeting you!” McGee yells out to Ziva.

Tony finally shuts the door, letting out a loud breath, his hand wiping over his face.

“Sorry about that.”

“It is quite alright. It is nice to see people taking care of other people.”

“Do you want to share a cab?”

“No, I actually live right down there.” She points to a grey building a little ways down the street.

“Oh so you do come here often.”

They both laugh at the implication.

“Well I guess this is goodnight then.”

“Yes, goodnight Tony.”

“Goodnight.”

He extends his hand and she meets him in the middle. The touch lingers for a little while too long, sparking electricity in them both. After several moments, Ziva finally breaks away, turning on her heel to walk away. He watches her walk until she makes it to her building, his eyes enjoying the way her legs strut in her tight pencil skirt. She pauses to wave to him before unlocking the door and going in. Tony turns to heads home, feeling excited for the first time in his career to attend court.

#TIVA #TIVA fanfic #Ziva David #Tony DiNozzo #AU #yes this will be continued #my wiritng #SCREAMING BECAUSE THIS IS FINALLY DONE

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