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stingray-stars · 2 months

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.ᐟϟ DENKI ϟ.ᐟ

He/him - bisexual

ADHD, and a bit of an eating disorder? Dating no one, in the Bakusquad at UA. Pretty skinny with not a lot of muscle definition, pretty normal height

Imagine him more blonde they don't have that,, also with the lightning bolt!! And altogher a bit more like his hair :P But kid is a nerd.... Sorry, I think he likes Pokemon tho, but he plays different games, mostly old ones or one his friends give him. Wears a brown jacket that is old and has patches on it + pins because he didn't want to look boring???? He has freckles and wears wired headphones bc he can't afford not wired... He does have a phone tho.. but uhh I'm getting off track. He wears his pride pin on his jacket and doesn't hide it. Plain but colorful shirts half the time, cheap and easy. Old converse that are yellow but more brownish at the bottoms from the wear. Torn up jeans or baggy pants with colorful but also plain socks. has his ears pierced (the first one only) and wears things that relate to his games or just ones he finds cool. Has a (home done) nose piercing (the middle one) and is just the spiked edges kind. Doesn't really have a favorite food or anything but he does really like cool aid; especially the Cherry. Likes games, doodling, and shopping. Pokémon is his favorite game. An awkward teen at heart and is kind of slow with things, and zones out. example would be "Hey, do this" and then he would be like "Huh? oh! uh yah, how?" and then as you're explaining it, then he gets it (and sometimes still messes it up) but it's a weird process but doesn't happen with everything. I don't mean this in a bad way, I'm kinda like this but worse... Honestly he's a good person to be around and have fun with. Likes to run around in the streets like he's in a coming-of-age teen movie about outcasts. Is not ashamed by doing it either.

𖦹ꕀTAMAKIꕀ𖦹

They/he - pansexual - Demiromantic & Demisexual

anxiety, sorta sensitive to loud noises. Dating Mirio, close friends with Hado. skinny but has fat, mostly on his stomach, and on the taller side

Tamaki has very soft boyish vibes. He loves soft looks, often wearing sweaters and big clothes. Usually they will wear those things with baggy jeans with Converse or Doc Marten's. He always has either a rainbow thing or his flag color thing on him, either on his bag or person. He wants to let people know that he's safe with whatever, but doesn't outright scream it. Has glasses but usually wears contacts when at school or hero-ing. Also has his ears pierced once (the first one) and usually wears interesting ones but again not when hero-ing. Has about every type of headphones and has old phone/electrics in his room. Usually keeps their headphones when out in public, airport when at school or training, and wired he carries wherever he goes In case something happens to the ones that can run dead or something. Likes old things because it brings him peace and allows them to escape the rest of the world. Still has anxiety and bad social anxiety, but when he gets used to people, he is finer with them. Doesn't like loud noises, hints the headphones, but it's only when it's sudden or really loud. He is usually fine, but he still likes the calming music in their ears. Likes to do calming tasks that: 1) doesn't take a lot of energy. 2) doesn't take a lot of moving. 3) doesn't include a lot of people talking to him. 4) doesn't include people he doesn't know talking to him. Likes to spend time with his family and friends, and especially Mirio. Does not like it out in public though, so no PDA. Likes snacking and he rarely if ever gets full, and they always have food on him. His favorite food is Squid. Likes animals, walking, music, simple doddles, and packing his bag when he's not completely overthinking it or in a rush. also likes little craft things you can make easily. Also does like games, mostly games like Animal Crossing, that is his favorite and he's had it for years and got almost every version of it.

𖡎𓐐𓎩FATGUM𓐐𓎩𖡎

He/him - pansexual

Low amount of ADHD. Not dating anyone, still does hero work. really tall but has fat from his quirk and eating

Imagine him older in this and has more fat, and more blond and a kinda different hair style but he's still pretty cool 👍... Very parental towards his kids, very kind, gentle, fun, understanding and lenient. He makes a good father and is very supportive in everything. Not just supportive, but very supportive. When they ask to go hang out somewhere he doesn't even ask if they are dating or not (because he already knows probably) because he trusts his kids and if something does happen, he will always be there to help :D! He will absolutely stay up with his kids if nothings in the way of it. Does have a good balance of work life to family life. Helps with schoolwork and trains with them too. He loves to eat; his hunger can never be satisfied. Will absolutely go buy food whenever someone wants it, no matter what it is, he will get it as soon as he can. He doesn't really have a favorite food or drink, since he loves everything. Also LOVES cooking. He cooks for his kids all the time, and he cooks a lot, more than enough for the three of them to eat. But He usually eats it before work and Tamaki does to. Has little fun arguments about dumb things. Helps Tamaki when he's having a rough time and WILL call UA to tell them that his kids can't go because of how they're feeling. totally a big softie and isn't afraid to let that show. Plushes in every room,,, most he and Tamaki picked out together. Takes his kids on shopping sprees and doesn't hold back on money, since he has more than enough for the three of them. Okay, well, he spoils his kids, but not in a bratty rich spoil way. you get it?? like they would ever turn out like that though lmao. Whatever you're into, emo, scene, goth, cutesty, no matter what. it can be anything. he. will. accept. you. (With the exception that you're still a good person. but if you're raised by him, you have a 99% of being a good person) UGHGH IM RANTING ABOUT HOW MCUH HE WOULD BE A GOOD DAD AGAINNN

🔅✶MIRIO✶🔅

he/him - bisexual

mostly just very energic. dating Tamaki, close friends with Hado, babysits Eri. On the muscley side of things, with being tall

okay so, Mullet.... SOrRyy UGHFdAJTGIAadsujbgAJIGbuaerjbd again blonder but shhhh.. aslo with his bright blue eyes. pretty basic compared to Tamaki, but it's okay since between Tamaki and Hado, we need a break with the color. Very masculine to, he gives off kind guy, but in a kinda scary way. Also, very supportive and will keep you energized. Drinks coffee, it's his favorite drink, and his favorite food is rice because it can taste like whatever you cook it with! It has so many possibilities!! SOOO MUCH ENERGY!!! ughjhh he can run around his house like 40 times before he takes a break. Man has so much.. He's very showy with his affection when he can be. Tamaki doesn't like PDA so it's mostly when they're alone. But with everyone else he will hug and pick up or somethingggg, words of affirmation and acts of service is his love language. Mostly wears plain shirts + jackets and jeans with tennis shoes of any kind. Likes to Train and cuddle, weird combo I know. But what he loves most is supporting other people and hyping them up, he just likes to know that he can be the reason he someone else is happier, even if it's just for a short amount of time. He can calm down of course, but he just likes to be upbeat and everything. Always smiley and happy and sees the positive in everything.

༘ ⋆❀HADO❀༘ ⋆

She/Her - Pansexual

very talkative & dating Yuyu, close friends with Mirio and Tamaki. skinny, does have good muscle definition.

So, the hair needs to be more of a lavender, and she usually puts it up in buns to get it out of her way. She loves to learn about people and will want to know everything about them. She still finds questions to ask Tamaki and Mirio after knowing them for three years. She also loves ranting and just saying things, no matter what, and she will watch a show that her friends watch so they can rant about it together. She never stops talking to Yuyu and is always trying to be near them, also loves cuddles. Cuddling is amazing for them, ahhhhh she loves being near people she loves. Will gift little things to people, just stuff she saw and thought they might like. Is very fun to hang out with and is very cute of a person (don't take that weird pleasee (*/ω＼*)) favorite food is candy and favorite drinks are like those milks but taste like tinted with something... do those actually even exist idk, am I making this up? idk but I'm going with it. likes to play fun sweet games as such: Minecraft (the farming part) and animal crossing. Likes baking too, and bakes for her Partner and her friends/family. Can't cook actual food before, has tried, now people try to stop her whenever she wants too. Has a Eyebrow piercing that she got done because of her Lover and doesn't regret it. and likes space and stuff since it kinda matches her energy! but all in all, is a very good, energetic, person.

⚝✮YUYU✮⚝

They/Them - Lesbian

very calm. dating Hado, friends with Tamaki & Mirio, has more fat than Hado but still skinny

Dyes their hair, goes from pinkish red to red and keeps it short, they cut it themselves usually. Light freckles with a lot of piercings, a nose bridge, 1, 3, 4 ear piercings done with one up top. idk the names of the piercings sooo uh yeah. Has a cool grunge style and mostly wars dark colors. Is very sweet tho, but can jump to conclusions... A bit of trust issues, uhm ‸‸ ... Yeah, has two siblings, ones a brother and a sister, we probably will not meet them though :P They have more friends at UA but since their dating Hado she hangs out with Tamaki and Mirio a lot, they're also closer to Tamaki since they both can relate to some things. Examples are shows, opinions on public stuff and other opinions out there, true crime, and other stuff like that. I don't know how much they are going to come up in the story, but I wanted to add them just in case. I've also never wrote for this character and have never even really thought about them,, sorry... Likes music, listens to McCaffrey, MSI, Penelope Scot, Twin Size Mattresses, and other songs like that. Hopefully you know all those to know what they listen to, but its trauma, screaming, emo music. Sorry idkk I listen to those and idk what it's called beside Mid West emo music. I'm kind of relating them to me if I'm being honest and its probably obvious. Favorite food is probably something easy to fix because they also can't cook that good (´ｰ∀ｰ`) Favorite drink is probably flavored water because you need water, but waters plain so flavor it and you're drinking juice but its water. Has a Cirkle thing, but now has an Air-up bottle.

I wrote half of this on no sleep, you can probably tell but it's okay. Also, I put so much detail into the characters that are not even the main character... uh Denki has Like 5 sentences when Tamaki has 10... I like Tamaki okay I'm not going to lie. Anyways this is for my story over on Ao3. if you want to see that.

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nathank77 · 2 months

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You know they have sleep specialists? That can prescribe medications specifically for trouble falling asleep/waking up not groggy. Eventually Xanax isn’t going to cut it, don’t you think?

I do but benzodiazepine do work for insomnia. If you look at the list of sleep drugs benzodiazepines are the second highest on the list. It goes:

1) sedative hypnotics

2) benzodiazepines

3) Antidepressants

4) antihistamines

I've obviously tried antihistamines. They don't work. I won't try antidepressants bc of the side effects and the state of my brain chemistry considering I have psychosis. I don't want to mess with my neurons any further.

Sedative hypnotics are scary bc they can cause sleeping walking, and hallucinations. Especially visual hallucinations. I don't have those. I don't want them. I'm afraid if I were to take them I'd drive my car and get into an accident or fall in the shower or do something crazy while I sleep walk. I'm afraid I'd wake up with bugs crawling all over me. My brain is already hallucination central with auditory and tactiles. If I throw in a medication that could cause visual, I'm setting myself up to have all 3 types of hallucinations. Not to mention sedative hypnotics tolerance is built up really fast so if I take 1mg for a week I'll have to go to 2 and then it will keep going.

Also a lot of them cause psychosis and I can't have my psychosis get any worse.

Benzodiazepines such as xanax has been shown to work for years on insomniacs without raising tolerance. You can stay on 1mg for your entire life and fall asleep. Tolerance for Benzodiazepines are only raised for anxiety and panic attacks. I asked myself what the purpose of Benzodiazepines were years ago when I was in school when I learned that in 4 days your tolerance goes up and it's useless for anxiety and panic disorder unless you continue to take higher doses.

Through my unfortunate insomnia journey and having to do research on them bc I was scared to take them too I found out they work forever on the same dose without raising tolerance. Unfortunately as an insomniac with anxiety sometimes it gets the best of me but ever since I started xanax almost a year ago I have slept every night except 2. And before xanax I slept every other night. Sometimes not for days.

Benzodiazepines only true use are insomnia and muscle spasms bc of the tolerance issue with anxiety and panic attacks.

I've thought about going to a sleep doctor just to see if I do anything weird but the thing is what keeps me from falling asleep is my auditory hallucination. If I ever recovered and could go back to weed I believe I'd start falling asleep like a baby again.

I just wanted to put it out there that benzodiazepines are actually effective for insomnia for years without ever raising the dose cause the research shows it.

Every other sleep aid is either too weak (antihistamines) I add them to my nightly sleep cocktail bc it helps.

Or they are too dangerous like sedative hypnotics, I can't afford to hallucinate more than I already do or risk sleep walking.

Antidepressants although can be helpful for some people, being the state of my mental health I can't afford to start throwing darts widly at my brain chemistry. I hate taking benzos but they do help a lot. Xanax saved my life I'd be dead if I hadnt started taking it and sleeping again.

I don't want to start taking more mental health drugs and risk messing up any form of a recovery for myself. I can see I'm recovering. It's just slow. Throwing something else in could make me go backwards.

If I could smoke weed I'd never touch a benzo again but weed makes me hallucinate more. Yet it knocks me out like a light.

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sowwywithoutthew · 2 years

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kinda have feelings for him after he I wasnt weird about me being in little space but I'm not even sure he knew I was, we jut cuddled. but that might just have been trauma bonding.

Also he can't kiss, like boy close your mouth and stop using tongue if you dont know how. Also his beard stubble hurt my upper lip and chin like he'll and I'm glad I didn't get a rash from that.

He doesn't know shit about shit I mean what do you expect from a 17 year old with zero experience and friends that are just as childish.

anyways, I cant afford a relationship right now. my grades have to be my utmost priority at the moment and a relationship would distract me too much. almost mad at myself for starting this thing in the first place, because my grades really already have started to drop since this thing started. like how fucking stupid am I.

now I just have to figure out how to let him down easy without destroying every social connection I made in the past two months. like my one of my classes even started to be fun, because now I get along with two of the boys there bc one of them happens to be his friend with whom I also had a few interactions unrelated to the whole situationship drama because of the class trip and resulting hiking trips. but because of the fact that they are close friends im worried he won't wanna work with me in class anymore, which would be problematic. on the other hand, there are only a few months left and I'd still have my girls but that one class...

idk I'm making this way more complicated that it would have to be because of my emotional mess and unavailability because I'm still not over getting hurt in my last relationship.

but also until like two days ago, which was the last time I stayed at his place (for the fourth time already fuuuuuucc), I didn't think I could ever have feelings for him, like the spark just wasn't there despite two months of talking and meeting up, cuddling and said bad kisses that are a huge turn off at that.

anyways, I dont really get along with his personality either and there's just so much about him that I don't vibe with. like first of the cringe hormonal teenage boy blabber and screaming and drinking and what not. then also his incredibly bad posture. the fact that I've never noticed him brush his teeth before bed unless he's like really fast which would also not be a good thing. his music taste? ew. that I sleeps in sweat pants when I'm there but a pair that looks horrible on him and has a weird fabric, like the fake silk looking sporty one yk? because he doesn't wanna sleep in boxers and tshirt while I'm staying over like I'm not doing exactly that, laying there in my underwear and an oversized shirt lol. His way of talking/texting is weird too, lol. And additionally I don't really get along with his mom. she's so awkward and introverted and sorta judgy towards me, idk how to describe it, but comfortable with her is something that I am not.

in conclusion... there is a reason why I don't date younger. Its simply trash.

#lowkey a cry for help #get me out of this pls

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arinbelle · 3 years

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TW: slavery, racism

Now I'm really thinking about the concept of human slavery in SJM books and overall slavery in CC and how glorified it is. Idk if that's the right or good word for it, but that's how it comes off. Because in the end, it's used to further plot for the sake of things, angst for the sake of plot, but there isn't a solid conclusion to it. We kinda just hear, oh yeah the Fae like to hunt humans for sport and don't think anything of them, but it is what it is. Or the fact that we are told even though the Fae ENSLAVED humans, both sides are to blame for eventual conflict.

I would like to translate that to today's world. You go tell a black person in America right now "Yeah slavery was bad, but like...all of you fighting back eventually against it and then killing your oppressors was not right either. Like you added to the problem." That is the rhetoric.

And I think the more it hits me, the more bothered I'm getting, because at least with ACoTaR, it kinda becomes a low level brushed over problem, which, fucked up, but it at least gets covered up with the wings and the sex. But in CC we have BLATANT slavery. Literally SLAVES, with slave tattoos branding Fae. And ofc in the end, Hunt is freed bc he's our MC's love interest, and she can't actually end up with a slave, just be there for the initial moments of angst and trauma bonding, but not later on when it's actually problematic. And then there's Lehabah who dies a free Fae but doesn't even get to experience that freedom? And the whole time she's always complaining about how messed up their world is for even having slavery, she's shut down and told to get back to work. By our main character, WHO IS HALF HUMAN!!!!

And Bryce? Strangely both concerned for humans and yet also very apathetic. Gave me vibes of "Yeah it's wrong that we treat humans and slaves like this but maybe if they didn't fight back against their oppressors like this they wouldn't be mistreated." And no, her trying to save humans in the end doesn't forgive her for not caring much in the entire book, because she's doing the literal bare minimum.

And obviously, this isn't me shitting on these characters, because the characters aren't real, but it says something about an author who constantly employs these themes and has no greater message or plot for them outside of what furthers the MC's narrative.

Of course someone can argue, "Oh it's not that deep, it's just a fantasy novel." And yeah probably. But considering that racism and its roots in slavery run very real and deep even today, it clearly sends a very messed up message.

Also! If you say that it's a fantasy book and we don't need to bring the real world's problems into it, then you're coming from a place of privilege where you can afford to not think about problems like these.

#anti sjm #cc #hoeab #tw: racism #tw: slavery #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #house of earth and bone

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writingsbychlo · 3 years

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💭

had this idea just now while on the train and needed to share. royal!au where void and stiles are twins (so no possession etc. kinda like in sits) and princes then a servant girl accidentally hurts void twin when helping him clean up a cut or sum and she gets scared but instead of yelling like she thought he laughs and they start spending time together and fall in love but they have to keep it a secret bc hes a prince and she's a servant

ur an angel

ever fallen in love | prince!noah

bullet count; over 500. enjoy.

summary; prince noah falls for a kitchen maid.

notes; the original prince noah post! yay!

warnings; vague mentions of illness, that's about it.

listen it’s literally 500 bullet points long just accept it y’all

stiles typically being known as the 'friendly' prince

because he's so chatty, he loves talking and doing public events and speeches

but because stiles is always the one talking and accepting gifts etc, noah quickly got a reputation

and he didn't really do anything to deserve that

a few scowls and bad days, and one snap at a gardener who removed his flowers from his mother's grave after her death, and suddenly he's 'the dark prince'

and you? you're just one of the kitchen maids

not a very well known one, either

you just pour drinks and clean up the messes, and help lay out the tables

you don't even get to cook for the royal family

so that's how the first real meeting goes

you're pouring drinks for the princes, and you're a little distracted

because did prince noah get a new ring? it's pretty. really pretty. it's so beautifully done, it probably cost more than your entire wages for the year, an- oh fuck

you pour the wine a little too much, and it drips over the sides

of course, noah isn't exactly used to having wine poured on him, that was kind of a shock

and he drops the glass

it shatters everywhere

your apron and the bottom of your dress are covered in red wine

your only presentable dress

the one you have to wear when you actually leave the kitchen to serve

not likely that you'll be doing that again anytime soon, now, though

"oh, no, I am so sorry, m'lord"

"it's okay, it's just wine."

and he leans down to help pick up the pieces

"you don't have to do that, m'lord, really, it's my fault and-"

trying to take the shards of glass from his hands, only to catch on against his finger, and cut him a little

"oh, god, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to, really, it was an accident an-"

"it's just a cut, I've had far worse."

and the look on his face says it all.

like he knows what you were expecting of him, and he knows what everyone was thinking

you're braced to be shouted at, to be fired on the spot, possibly even arrested for harming a royal

but now he's just staring at you with worried eyes because you know you're about to cry

but you can't even find words

"I'm truly sorry, m'lord."

and then you leave, and you send one of the other maids out to finish cleaning, and you take your shouting at silently

because you know you fucked up

and that night, long after everyone else is in bed, you're still up

scrubbing in cold water at the hem of your dress trying to get it clean

it's the only one you have, and you can't afford another good dress

if you can't fix it, then that means no more crowning ceremonies, no more serving the family, no more anything, because you'll just have aprons and rags

"you know, I never got your name."

"fuck! you scared me- oh, I mean, sorry, m'lord, is there anything I can help you with?"

now you're definitely gonna be arrested

because you swore at one of the damn princes

"you don't have to call me 'lord', that makes me feel old. you can just call me noah."

"sorry, prince noah."

"no, just noah. no titles."

"I don't think that's very appropriate, m'lord."

watching him frown again as he lights a few more candles, as opposed to the two you'd been using.

"what are you doing?"

"laundry, m'lord."

"at heaven knows what time, in cold water?"

"trying to get the wine stains out, m'lord. I can't get hot water, because that would require lighting a fire, and I don't have permission for that."

"your hands must be freezing, though?"

and then he takes your hands, and he's drying them off on a towel

you really don't know what to say or do

"why didn't you just wait until laundry day?"

"s'my only good dress, if the stain sets, I'll not have another."

"well, I think you should go to bed, or you're going to be exhausted."

"but m'lord-"

"princes orders."

and you really can't do anything now, but your dress is going to be ruined

when you get up to finish it the next day, the wine is mostly gone

but there's a faint rim around the bottom where it was, and some faded stains

"if you've not got a dress, you're not serving the family."

"I know, matron."

spending your day in the kitchens instead, scooping and shovelling coals into the fire

and you get a chance to leave when you're told to go and prepare the sitting room for after dinner

you're in the middle of lighting fires and laying out brandy glasses when someone comes in

"I'm almost done, I just need the dessert cutlery an-"

"I don't have that."

almost dropping another glass in your shock.

"m'lord-"

"noah."

"prince noah, how can I help you?"

and you know you look a mess, he's just standing there stoically, staring at you for a second as you try to wipe your cheeks.

and then he smiles, and he's taking a step closer

"you just smeared coal on your cheek."

feeling so embarrassed about it, but he isn't laughing, just smiling

and he wipes it away gently with his thumb

"I have something for you. when do you finish your tasks for the day?"

"when you go to bed, m'lord."

and he would just click his tongue and hum a little at that

"well, then, who do I have to talk to in order to steal you away for a few moments?"

honestly not knowing what to do with yourself

“I-uh-the matron, m’lord.”

who makes her entrance with-

“have you finished, yet? the family is on their way, you can’t be out here, an- prince noah, I apologise for her, she shouldn’t be here.”

feeling embarrassed that someone is actually apologising for your presence

“no apologies necessary, I was bothering her. we still need dessert cutlery, but I need to borrow, uh-”

and now he’s embarrassed, and his cheeks kind of get a little pink as he looks at you

“the kitchen maid, m’lord?”

“her name, matron?”

“her name? (Y/N).”

“I need to borrow (Y/N), for just a few moments.”

and you see parts of the palace you’ve never seen before

because you’re just a kitchen maid, you know the dining room, the kitchens and the living rooms, and the staff entrances and pathways

you’re honestly worrying about whether you’ve got coal on your shoes and you’re ruining the expensive rugs

“I felt bad for ruining your good dress.”

“it was my fault, m’lord, I was distracted.”

“but I dropped the glass, and so I wanted to fix it.”

taking you to what seems like another living room

less brandy, more books, and a smaller fireplace

it’s more cosy than the after dinner living area

he gives you a box, and you already know what it is

opening the box to the most beautiful, deep blue dress you’ve ever seen

it’s got silk, its got lace, long hems and a corset bodice and sleeves that hook over your middle finger to create the elegant point on the back of your hand

“oh, wow... this makes my last good dress look like rags now.”

“do you like it?”

“it’s got the royal colours woven in. it’s your royal colour.”

when you look closer you can see them, all the shades of blue within it.

it’s got laces that are the same shade of baby blue as stiles’ carriage, and stitches the navy shade of the king, and the rest of it is the vibrant shade of deep blue that is noah’s colour.”

“well- yes. I thought it might look nice on you.”

“I love it, but I can’t accept it.”

“why not?”

“this dress probably cost more than I’d earn in years, I can’t afford that.”

“you don’t pay for gifts, (Y/N).”

hesitating, but he’s staring at you with wide pretty eyes and he pushes the box a little closer and you can’t really say no

“thank you, prince noah.”

“Well, I guess that’s better than ‘lord’. it’s progress.”

and then he’s giving you this little smile, and he says you can take it to put in your chambers

and he’ll go back to dinner

after that, there is almost something like friendship

you’d never dare to actually suggest you were friends with one of the princes, but it was nice

he’d smile at you when he saw you in the corridors, and sometimes he would even find time to exchange a few short words, between his royal duties and when you were alone

despite the looks you would always get from anybody passing by, wondering why a kitchen maid was talking to a prince

“you know, when I bought you a dress, it was with hopes that you’d wear it, so I could see you outside of the kitchens, again.”

almost dropping another glass as you were setting up the after-dinner room for desserts and brandy

“you have to stop scaring me like that. you’re unsettling good at sneaking around.”

you’re really not sure where the idea to chastise a prince - even jokingly - came from, but-

“it has it’s benefits.”

oh. oh, it’s okay. alright, then.

“well, the dress you bought is far too nice for simply serving dinner in, I’m saving it for a special occasion.”

“so, what you’re saying, is that if I want to see you again, I’m just going to have to buy you another, moderately less lavish gown?”

“I guess so, prince noah.”

“done. tell me which one?”

“I was joking, m’lo-”

“I was not.”

and now you’re just kind of staring at one another.

“if I were to skip brandy a desserts and go for a walk in the gardens, would you come with me?”

“I can’t, I have to wash the pots from dinner, and relay the table for breakfast.”

“I see.”

and he looks so disappointed, and you really don’t know why

“besides, m’lord, I’m not allowed in the royal gardens.”

“unless you’re with a royal.”

“I didn’t know you knew that.”

“I know all the legislature for my kingdom, it’s actually my job to know it, as one of the princes, and all.”

finishing laying out the glasses, and you can’t help but smile at his joke

“I am so sorry, my prince, is (Y/N) bothering you, again?”

trying not to physically scowl at the matron when she comes in

you swear, she hates you

“she has never bothered me. I think I find myself bothering her, actually.”

“no, of course not, m-”

“(Y/N) seems quite unwell. it must be the heat from the kitchens, she doesn’t look to well. I rather think she needs a breath of fresh air, don’t you agree?”

“oh, yes, of course, my prince, I’ll-”

“I think I could take some company in the gardens. You wouldn’t mind, would you, (Y/N)?”

and then you’re being offered an arm

no man has ever offered his arm to you to walk and now the prince is

and you feel embarrassed when you wipe your hands on the apron of your dress, and take his arm

but it does make you feel good when you watch the shock on your matrons face as you walk past her

walking the whole of the gardens with the prince

and it’s beautiful

there’s so many pretty flowers, and trees full of birds and blossom, and you take quite a pause to sit on a bench on one of the bridges that crosses the water

and it’s actually sunset by the time you’re making it back to palace

and you walk through the front entrance

with doors opened by guards who stare at you suspiciously

and you’re pretty sure it’s the best day of your life

“brother! you missed brandy. father did a puzzle. it was terribly boring. who’s this?”

and you curtesy, because you’ve never spoken to the other prince either

“no, wait, I know you. you’re the maid, with the spilled wine. my brother dragged my dress shopping for you, it was a very pretty dress.”

“it was, m’lord.”

“stiles, please. anybody who gets my brother to skip brandy and puzzles deserves a first name.”

“yes, prince stiles.”

“oh, so him you’ll call by his name?”

“I like you. as does my brother. it was lovely to meet you, you must excuse me, I need to make sure my father makes it to his bed.”

and then the other prince is leaving, and you’re alone again

and prince noah walks you right to the door of the staff entrance

“thank you for today, it was the best day of my life.”

“was it really?”

“yes.”

“then next time I’ll have to do better than just a simple walk.”

and he kisses your knuckles before bidding you goodnight

you don’t see much of noah the next day, or the day after, but you do on the third day

“you’re serving dinner today.”

“I am? matron, I don’t have a nice dress.”

“well, one was delivered for you. you must be getting a higher wage than I thought.”

it’s a very pretty dress, a simple white cloth with a few blue embellishments, all in the princes own shade of blue, sewn as pretty flowers into the hem

“i like your new dress.” he’d whisper as you pour him wine, and he’d smirk into his cup when you scoff under your breath

“yes, well, it was quite the surprise... thank you, prince noah.”

and you serve dinner the next day, and the day after that, too

until it starts to become something regular

after a couple of weeks, another dress happens to make itself known, one with red detailing on a pink fabric

and you’re not sure if you have enough drawer space for them both, so you keep one in a box while the other is being used

“do you like to read?”

“I do, my mother taught me before she died.”

you’re not as shocked by his presence this time, you’d expected it, from the way he’d let his eyes follow you throughout dinner,

talking in broken sentences whenever he could, without getting you into trouble

“as did mine. what is your favourite book?”

“I don’t have one. I just read whatever I can, when I see it. sometimes, when the matron takes me to town to buy supplies, I can see the newspaper and read about the world.”

“would you like to read my favourite book with me? it’s warm weather the sun is out, I was thinking about walking through the gardens and reading on the benches.”

“I don’t think matron wo-”

“I already spoke to your matron. you’re all mine, if you’ll have me?”

“I think I’d like that, let me just finish the cutlery.”

watching as prince noah hands you all the correct pieces as you lay the table

and then he offers you his arm again, and you walk again

he reads to you a little bit, and you read to him

you’re not as good at reading as he is, but he has patience, and he never judges you

at then end of the night, he walks you to the staff entrance again

and he lets you take the book, and tells you that when you finish reading it, it’ll give you an excuse to see him again

taking it with you to bed, with a candle, and trying to be quiet, but someone was waiting for you

“you need to be careful. there are stars in your eyes. he’s a prince, and you’re a kitchen maid, remember that, before you spend your life with a broken heart, serving a new queen one day when he becomes king, and your dalliance together becomes nothing to him.”

and it almost hurts

because you never expected anything, but it’s true

whatever kind of bond is forming would one day be shattered

but it’s not tonight

tonight, you have a book, and a new dress, and a warm feeling

reading the book in three days, and giving it back to him

telling him how much you enjoyed it, and all of your favourite parts

watching his face light up when you do, and he speaks more than you’ve ever heard him talk when he talks to you about the book

so much so you loose track of time, and prince stiles is the one who comes to find his brother for dinner

and he smirks the whole time he does, in a way that makes you as embarrassed as prince noah is to have been caught by the younger prince chatting away

being given another book by the end of the week

which you read bits of together, and bits of alone

but he always asks you what you thought of them, and it always makes him happy to hear your thoughts

that goes on throughout the whole of the spring and summer

sharing books and talking about them, while taking walks around the gardens

when the weather starts getting a little colder, you find noah often offering you his jacket

before a coat, unlike one you’ve ever owned, shows up in a box much like your dress boxes

when the leaves start to fall from the trees, debutant season rolls around

and both princes are expected to make an appearance, as they are every year, in honour of all the young ladies and gentleman coming of age

“have you ever been to the capital?”

“have you ever been to the cellar?”

“okay, snarky.”

this conversation taking place on one of your walks, which at some point, seemed to have become expected, because your chores after dinner had faded away, and your mornings had become earlier instead

“I only ask, because it’s debutant season, which means my family goes to the capital for several days.”

“I’m aware, so all the pretty young ladies in their fancy dresses can hope you’ll ask them to dance, and win your heart, and become a queen some day.”

“that’s not what it’s for.” simply raising an eyebrow at him. “well, that’s not all that it is for.”

“for me, it means deep cleaning everything, and scrubbing the palace top to bottom, while preparing for winter.”

“this year, I’m hoping it’ll be something different for you. I would like you to accompany us.”

“that’s not my place, prince noah.”

“we choose whichever staff we’d like, and I would like you.”

“I’m not a guard, or a footman, or even a chamber maid. what purpose could I possibly serve?”

“you’d be my friend. these things can be awfully lonely when you’re not looking to get married, you know.”

going on a train

to the capital

and it’s crazy

admittedly, for the most part, you don’t actually see noah

he rides the first class train, and he rides in a different carriage, and stays in a different hotel to you

he’s trailed around the upper classes and introduced, and you sit with other staff of other families and stay quiet

but he always catches your eye, and smiles, and finds time to get small conversations in when he can

the first time you’re actually with the royal family is when they attend the debutant ball

and you’re all expected to arrive together

of course, he is introduced, one of the very last names, as he’s a royal, not just a debutant

you’re in the crowd, and his eyes quite literally light up

and he smiles when he walks down the steps and he keeps staring even as he’s shaking hands and making polite conversation

when mingling comes, he makes his way to you

“you’re wearing the dress I bought for you. with my colours.”

“this seemed like the most special occasion I’d ever see, and this is the most special dress I have ever owned, it was only appropriate.”

“you look beautiful.”

letting him mingle a little more

actually getting the courage to talk to some people, and see what life was like around the country for others, in places you’ve ever been to

prince noah finding you again

“would you like to dance with me?”

feeling like you can’t breathe

like the corset is suddenly too tight, or your hair might fall from the updo that took you hours, or maybe that the room just got a lot smaller-

“I would love to, my prince, but I can’t-”

“you can. nobody can stop you, I asked you, an-”

“no, I mean, I can’t dance. I don’t know how to. I was never taught. all these girls, they’re so elegant and they were taught to dance and I was taught to light fires and-”

“you’re panicking. stop panicking. we won’t dance, it’s okay. lets go somewhere else instead.”

taking his arm and letting him guide you through the halls

to a really big library

not as big as the palace one, you’re sure, but it’s big.

reading together for a while, and it’s so much more comfortable

letting your hair down, literally

and just relaxing

chatting late into the night until the candles all burn down, and the ball is long since over

and you both have to sneak through the halls to keep quiet and get to your rooms

and he walks you right to your door this time

and kisses your cheek when he lets you go

and things pretty much go back to normal when you get back

but the smiles are softer and his arm folds to bring you a little closer when you go for walks

snow starting to come around and it crunches when you walk in it

but then you don’t see noah for your walks for a couple of days

and he’s quieter during meal times

after almost a week of no interaction, you find out why

your matron telling you that you won’t be doing your regular chores today

you’ve been requested elsewhere

it’s prince stiles that comes to find you, and escorts you through the halls

to the upper levels where you’ve never been

“my brother, he’s not very well, but he keeps talking about you. I think you should be the one to look after him.”

and noah is not well at all

he’s got a fever and a cough and he’s very sniffly

smiling despite it when he sees you

“I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too, I actually had to do my chores when you weren’t there to whisk me away.”

his laughs turning into a coughing fit

getting a cloth and some cold water mopping sweat fro his forehead

basically doting on him for two days straight

hand-making soup and food for him when he fell asleep

lighting the fire in his room to keep him warm

tidying up and swapping the sheets when he was bathing

reading to him to help him fall asleep

pushing hair back out of his face

on the last evening, when he is clearly doing considerably better, thanks to doctors and medicines and soups, you’re reading to him again

“can you sit next to me?”

“I am sitting next to you.” because you’ve pulled the chair from the corner right up next to his bed

but he’s patting the blankets next to him as he lays under them

“no, sit next to me.”

being nervous, because it’s entirely inappropriate

but you’ll be damned if you don’t want to

so you do

and he rolls over a little while you’re reading to him

he lays down and rests his head on your stomach and you play with his hair

and he falls asleep like that

and it hits you then and there that you’re in way too deep

because you liked the way it feels to be held by him, and you like seeing him when he’s not being proper, when he’s just himself, and reading books and going for walks, and shit, you like him

which is when you start to panic and pull away

because you’d gotten so used to him being there that you’d forgotten there was a time when he wasn’t

but there would inevitably be that one day again, and you weren’t so sure you were ready for that

finding things to do over the next few days so you can’t go on walks

and you haven’t finished the new book

it wasn’t that hard to find things to do

christmas was coming up and so that meant busy times

it meant big meals and parties and decorating the palace

and for a while, you thought the way you felt physically was just fro your distance

a guilt and pain from the way noah would look at you each time you turned down his walks or said you were busy

but it started to become obvious that it was more than that

something was wrong

you were sick

but you were a maid, and it was your job to work through it

but you could no longer serve meals or work in the kitchen

so you tried to do other work

you brought in boxes of decorations from the sheds outside after sorting through them all

and you cleaned the cellar and searched for the christmas wines and brandy over the regular ones

but that chill and damp only made it worse

and the first you realised it had simply gone from bad to a whole fucking lot of bad was when everything went black

you were carrying a a box of wreaths and ornaments from the shed and then nothing

waking up to a warm fire that had burned to ask long ago, and a lot of blankets, and a weight on your hand that was making it feel numb

pulling your hand back and shaking it out as you tried to get your bearings

a candle being lit seconds later and warm light spilling over the bed lightly

and a face you recognised well

“oh, my god, you’re awake. are you okay?”

“what happened?”

realising just how sore your throat was

fingers pushing your hair back out of your face lightly

little laughs that he let out that really weren’t amused but more relieved

“matron found you. said you’d been gone a while getting the wreaths, and she found you in the snow.”

and then he’s sniffling a little bit and he looks vulnerable, and when he puts a hand on your cheek, you don’t even question it

“you were so cold, and you were unconscious, and your lips were blue.”

and he brushes a finger over your lips and sniffles again

“you scared the shit out of me. it’s been three days. three days where I didn’t know if I’d get to see your pretty eyes again, or hear you talk about the fish in the stream, or feel my heart beat the way it does when you smile at me. don’t do that, okay? i was so damn scared..”

“noah..”

“why does it take one of us almost dying for you to call my by my name, huh? if I’d known that, I would have done something stupid a long time ago.”

and then he’s leaning in, and pressing a kiss to your forehead, and every bit of resistance you had towards staying away from him melts

because right now, you think you’d much rather live in the sweet moment than think about the heartbreak to come

“noah?” whispering his name again once he had settled his head back onto the edge of the bed, and you’re playing with his hair again

“yeah?”

“when’s breakfast?”

“not sure. it’s the middle of the night, and your room doesn’t have a clock. are you hungry?”

“little bit.”

“let’s get you some food, then.”

letting him help you out of bed, his hands a lot stronger as he pulls you to your feet

you’re still a little shaky and weak

still holding your hands, and standing right before you once you’re standing

“you can let go now.”

“I don’t want to.”

and then his fingers slip between yours in a tighter grip, and he’s holding your hand

his thumb playing with yours all the way to the kitchen

“sit down, I’ll make you something.”

“you’ve never cooked a day in your life.”

“well, there’s bound to be a book around here somewhere. which one was that soup you made me in?”

“my head, because that’s my recipe.”

“you made that? I thought you didn’t cook.”

“I don’t cook for you, but I can cook for me. I don’t have enough experience to cook for royals.”

“that was the best soup I’ve ever had.”

rolling your eyes at him, but thanking him anyway

searching for some bread to eat while he looks around

because you know that he’s probably never been down in the kitchens before

“will you teach me?”

“teach you what?”

“to make that soup. or, to cook something in general, I guess. I’ve never thought about it before, but I’m a little embarrassed now. my mum knew how to cook when we were little.”

so, you show him how to make soup

and it’s a bit of a mess

because he can’t chop very well without almost taking off his fingers, and he keeps jumping when bubbles pop in the pan

but you make soup, and sit at the table together to eat

“will you teach me something, too?”

“whatever you’d like.”

“will you teach me how to dance?”

letting him pull you to your feet once again

your hand on his shoulder, his hand in yours, and his hand on your waist

and you swear his fingers are burning right through your sleep dress

stepping on his toes a couple times

quiet giggles as he hums tunes and twirls you around the kitchen

and afterwards, he walks you to your room, and falls asleep in the chair beside your bed again

holding hands on your walks now

which makes both of you blush a little at first

and noah showing up in the kitchens, to everybody’s shock and matrons almost heart attack

and asking her if he can stick around and learn a few things

teaching you to dance in quiet moments when he can

and christmas comes around

the trees are up and so are all of the decorations and invitations for the christmas party have gone out

it’s the christmas parade, and then it’s preparing the christmas food

and before you know it, you’re walking the grounds again the night before the christmas ball

and noah’s hand is wrapped around yours as you keep your coat tight

and when he leaves you that night, it’s with a lingering kiss to your forehead, and a squeeze of your hand

before his forehead is resting on yours again, and he’s hesitating

“I know I’m going to see you tomorrow, but I don’t think I’m ready to leave you just yet.”

“it’s only a few hours away.”

“and I always hate the hours when I’m not with you, because I’m only ever truly happy now in the hours that I am.”

his nose brushing against yours

before matron is coughing not-so-subtly from the end of the corridor, and shaking a set of keys

and noah leaves, and you go to bed

the day of the ball being absolute chaos

not seeing noah until you actually go to the ball

which all staff are invited to, because it’s a buffet style meal

royals and staff alike on christmas

there’s music and dancing and you’re laughing with the other kitchen maids, who are all wearing their best dresses too

and despite the ‘staff and royals together’ approach, the royas nomrally mingle with the upper classes, and the staff with one another’s houses

but then there’s noah

and he’s taking your hand and asking you to dance with him again

“your father is watching, noah.”

you’d whisper it, and he’d smirk a little, and rub his thumb over the back of your hand soothingly

“I know. I don’t care who’d watching. I want everyone to see how great of a dancer you’ve become, I want everyone to see you in your pretty blue dress of my colours, and besides, you think my father doesn’t know of you by now? he’s rathe eager to meet you, I’ve been holding him off.”

“why’s that? it’s an honour to meet the king, you know.” teasing him a little despite how nervous the mere idea makes you

and twirling a little among the others on the dance floor

“because I want you to myself a little while longer. I’m selfish like that. once he meets you, he’ll love you, and then he’ll want you to do puzzles and chat, and that’s less time for me.”

“I think you’ve forgotten I’m just a kitchen maid, noah.”

“you’re so much more than that, darling.”

meeting the king

feeling like you might sweat right through your dress

and even though you know he’s trying to help, when noah holds your hand it only makes you so much more nervous

“so, you’re the young woman my son can’t stop talking about? I hope you’ll join me for a puzzle, one day, I’d rather like to get to know you better.”

“told you.”

letting him walk you to your room afterwards

lingering stares and holding of hands and more brushes of noses after cheek kisses

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“it’s christmas day, noah. your family came from across the country, and I have a rather large dinner to cook, perhaps the day after.”

“please, just a couple of minutes?”

“find me after breakfast, that’ll be the least busy time.”

he does

he wastes no time, he catches you right after breakfast before you’ve even got back to the kitchens after stocking up the other fires

smirking a little as his hand lands on your cheek

“you’ve smeared coal on your cheek.”

letting him wipe it away, feeling kinda nostalgic about it

“merry christmas, darling.”

“merry christmas, noah.”

“I got you something.” handing you a little box from his pocket, and inside it is a beautiful necklace, with a dark blue gem shining in it. “do you like it?”

“it is the single most beautiful thing I have ever held.”

“well, that’s fitting, because it’s for the single most beautiful thing that I have ever held.”

swearing you heard a scoff somewhere, but it’s very busy, and it’s probably just background noise

letting him put it on for you, and blushing when he adjusts it to fall just right

“my present for you seems stupid, now.”

“you got me a present?” watching his whole expression go soft

“I baked you some cookies, they’re my favourites.”

“that’s so sweet.” and then his hand in yours, tugging you a few steps forwards, and to the left

and then he’s looking up

and you can feel him trembling a little with his nerves

and you realise why when you follow his gaze

“is that-”

“yeah.”

mistletoe, hanging by a little piece of string from over one of the balconies and you were certain no member of staff had put that up

“are you going to-”

“yeah. I mean, I want to, if thats okay with you?”

“yeah.”

warm and soft kisses

so nervous at first

just timid little pecks with his hand on your cheek

before his pulling you in and it’s a little more confident

a hand on your waist and holing on firmer

panting a little when he pulls away

and staring at one another with wide eyes

because that just changed everything, and you’re so scared

“what now?” your voice cracking when you whisper

“now-” he would lick his lips, and give you another brief kiss, before straightening out his dinner jacket “now I go to dinner with my family, and tell my father that I’m in love with you, and later, we meet in the library, and talk about this, while eating cookies.”

“seems like you have this all figured out.”

“I’m terrified. stiles gave me a pep talk.”

watching the mistletoe surreptitiously being pulled away back over the balcony by the owner of the scoff you’d heard

“but you’re worth it. I’m in love with you.”

“I love you too.”

“well, that makes things a lot easier, and a lot less scary. I’ll see you later.”

another kiss, and then he’s leaving, and your head is still spinning

stiles coming down the stairs a second later, with mistletoe on a string in his hand

“I have a feeling we’ll be seeing a lot more of one another now, I think it’s about time we went for a little walk and a chat, hm?”

getting a wink and a promise of a walk from stiles, before you’re going back to the kitchens

i don’t know how to end this but this is the end ok

#9ksleepover

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songofassandfire · 3 years

Note

you already KNOW you have to do stuart and carol for the ultimate ship thing lololol

Who was the one to propose:

Stuart for sure was the one who proposed. I'm always fuzzy on these details, but I feel like he took her somewhere secluded but romantic to pop the question. I don't think he was able to afford an actual ring (he was never that financially well off in his life and I also think they got married pretty young. Like, 19 or 20 at the latest), but Carol gave him an enthusiastic yes regardless. Happy tears were definitely shed.

Who stressed more over wedding planning:

Carol for sure. Like I said, they were young and not really well off financially enough to have a super big or flashy ceremony, so she just tried her hardest to make it as good as they can with what they had. Their wedding was nice-ish, if cheap. She was able to get a good dress and a nice cake, so that's the most important part. Probably took place at Stark's pond or some other public property.

Who decorated the house:

Okay so I'm looking at screenshots of their house in tfbw, and it looks like that neon beer sign is the only decoration to speak of, and I can only imagine that being Stuart's doing. Any other "decoration" just looks like the kids writing on the walls lmao

Who is more organized:

Pfffffft organization who?? Neat and tidy what?? Neither of them are familiar with the concept ngdngsdngn Stuart doesn't really notice messes whereas Carol has grown beyond the point of bothering trying to clean up after this family.

Who suggested kids first:

Neither, really. It would get brought up in passing from time to time (mostly when theyre high and bringing up "what if" scenarios to each other), but none of their three kids were ever actively planned, least of all Kevin. In fact, by some cruel fate Carol only seems to get pregnant when they're at their lowest financially.

Side note, when Carol was pregnant with Karen, she and Stuart were both certain that she was gonna be another Kenny. Even when the ultrasound confirmed they were having a girl, they were both absolutely convinced it was gonna be Kenny until Karen was actually born. Because of that, they kinda had to scramble for more money and baby supplies bc they didn't think they would need them lmao

Who’s the cuddler:

Being a big bundle of repressed emotions, physical touch is one of the few ways Stuart knows how to show affection for his wife. You can see it in the background sometimes, he's got his arm around Carol's shoulders or his hand on her back, particularly in stressful situations.

Who’s the big spoon/little spoon:

Stuarts the big spoon. Like I said, he hold the wife. Carol wouldn't have it any other way.

What’s their favorite non-sexual activity:

They can't afford to really go out to real fancy places, but they do like going to bars together. They'll play pool or darts against other patrons, drunk as shit while scarfing down bar food and generally just have a good ol' time.

Who cooks:

I mean, canonically I guess Carol does ngdngddngndg there's just not much actual "cooking" being done. During more fortunate times for the Mccormicks, she can make a nice omelet or even a mean grilled cheese. She never really had to cook much in her childhood so she's kinda winging it most of the time. I don't think Stuart would be hopeless in the kitchen, but he survived on beer, popcorn, and bags of beef jerky throughout his own childhood so he doesn't have much experience cooking either.

Who comes home drunk at 3am:

I'm gonna say Stuart, mostly because I think Stuart goes out to bars more often while Carol largely drinks at home. Tho she's not at all a stranger to the concept of coming home drunk at an ungodly hour, she's just ordinarily with Stuart when she does.

Who kills the spiders:

Carol's more likely to just ignore spiders, but Stuart will hunt them down with a thick ass magazine in his hand ready to swat. He'll freak out if the spider runs towards him, but he insists he's not scared of them. The kids will make fun of him for it every time (tho honestly they jump at any opportunity to make fun of Stuart, even Karen will get in on it if she's feeling sassy).

Who falls asleep first:

Stuart, even when unemployed the man is simply always tired. Carol gets on to him a lot for falling asleep in his chair and snoring over the TV lmao

A head canon:

Carol LOVES stuffed animals and Stuart got her this one on Valentine's day:

Do they have any “rituals”?

It's after every rebirth where Stuart is at his most considerate and attentive. He spends the rest of the night holding her, rubbing her back in comfort, getting her things if she says she needs them, overall trying his best to ease the stress of what she goes through.

As mentally exhausting and physically traumatizing each rebirth is, Carol does enjoy being treated so gently. It sort of hearkens back to their early relationship, when they were teenagers/young adults and things were more simple, where they weren't constantly weighed down financial burdens and real world responsibilities. It's nostalgic for her, in a way.

(idk if this counts as "rituals" but it happens often enough gdnngdhdngd)

Who has the most patience?

Carol by far mhffmhmhfmhf I love Stuart but patience is NOT a virtue he possesses.

#'damn these responses are kinda hetero' - me writing responses for a heterosexual couple #stuart mccormick #carol mccormick #stuarol #answers #god i feel like i go way more in depth about stuart and i feel bad ngddngngdngd #stuart has only a little canon backstory to go off of while carol has none to speak of ngddndjgdjhgd #and i know thats probably like 'oh more creative freedom'#but my brain is like 'thats TOO MUCH creative freedom actually'#like im afraid my headcanons are too 'wrong' or something dngngdjgdjgd its stupid #all we really know about her is that she knew gerald and stuart as teenagers #thats it lmao #like she wasnt even named until tfbw. a game based off the show. like 20 years after her debut.#justice for carol honestly give her some spotlight

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ironmandeficiency · 4 years

Text

falcon, falcon, goose!

pairing: sam wilson / reader

word count: 3547

summary: there were reports of geese leading people to their soulmates spanning centuries, and it seemed like a cool concept, but why did it have to coincide with you coming out of your writing slump?

warnings: cursing, geese, dumbassery, implied happy au where the avengers get along, iw and endgame who?

a/n: this is an older piece i wrote a couple years ago, decided to brush it up and repost it. and the reader works for snl bc why the hell not? keep in mind that the original was written before everything went to shit w iw & endgame. posted from mobile yet again yall what is wrong w me

it was a sunny day outside, and deciding that you had been cooped up for far too long, you brought your laptop to the park a couple blocks from your studio apartment.

being a writer for saturday night live wasn't always so peachy, what with the lack of a social life outside of your co-workers and constantly explaining your job to confused relatives. you had been in a slump for the past couple weeks, the fact most of your sketch ideas not making the cut for the next episode continuing to throw you off your rhythm.

this week, you were going to change that. Your headphones were playing your concentration playlist full volume and you were hyped to the max. with your laptop on the picnic table in front of you and a warm cup of tea beside it, you were ready to blow the producers away with your next idea.

"honk! honk!"

you felt something nudge your leg, but you were too engrossed into what you were typing to care. after getting through a few more lines, it happened again.

"honk! honk! honk!"

you couldn't hear the sound but the feeling on your leg got a little bit rougher, more demanding. you moved your headphones to the side for a minute and took a moment to look around you. there was no kid running to get their ball back or any squirrels nearby that dropped a nut.

strange.

but you put your headphones back on, trying to keep your groove alive while hoping the interruptions are finished.

"HONK! HONK! HONK!" the goose honked louder, pecking at your leg harder than it had earlier.

you were getting frustrated and a little pissed. the creativity was flowing through your veins for the first time in what felt like ages and this — whatever it was — decided that today was the best day to annoy you.

you kicked your legs out with a strange flail and when you came into contact with something large and solid you nearly screamed.

"ow! motherf- oh my god!"

standing on the ground beside your table was a goose. it honked yet again with impatience (geese could do that?) and nipped lightly at your thigh closest to it. looking to the pond nearby, it was nearly an entire gaggle of the damned things.

so here was this goose honking at you and nipping at you like you were supposed to know what the hell it wanted from you.

"i don't have any bread, dumbass. go find someone else to bother." thinking it would leave if you ignored it, you turned away and continued your work.

"HONK! HONK!" it continued to honk and decided to peck you before flapping its wings, landing itself on the table next to your computer.

"get outta here, ya damn goose!" while you were trying to shop it away, it expertly evaded you. "go! shoo! leave me alone!"

it just stayed over on the bench, expertly dodging your attempts to get it to leave.

a few people nearby had heard your altercation with the infernal bird. one of them was an older gentleman that laughed as he sat across from you, the mirth in his eyes glinting as you give him a sarcastic side eye while trying to deal with the current issue.

"that bird won't leave you alone, you know." At his voice, the goose calmed down and waddled a few feet away from your arm's reach.

that was the first time the thing had been seemingly calm since he showed up at your little table.

"what do you mean he won't leave me alone?"

he pauses, part of him enjoying the irritation in your tone. he remembers someone talking to him like he was to you many years ago, and it made his heart smile at the idea of repaying the favor. "have you ever read about soulmate geese?"

"hey we're gonna go for a run, wanna join?" steve’s offer was given with a smirk. ever since reuniting with bucky, the two supersoldiers found so much humor in doing laps around sam every time they went out jogging.

it annoyed the shit out of him, the "on your left" comments from steve and the newer "on your right" jabs from bucky, but it also pushed Sam to work harder during his runs. ultimately he knew his non-enhanced body didn't stand much of a chance beating them, but he enjoyed when he was able to close the gap between their times just a little bit.

"sure, just gimme a few to eat breakfast and I'll join you guys." the blond nodded and turned back to the elevator, having woken up far earlier than sam and therefore already ate.

he hummed otis redding as he laid the bacon flat into the pan, shoulders moving along with his created rhythm while changing the grounds in the coffee filter. this was how he spent most of his mornings, barring the occasional hangovers and missions where he couldn't afford the distraction.

he ate, got dressed, and told FRIDAY to let bucky and steve know he was ready to go. h had his water bottle in hand, giving his body a pep talk in preparation for the run. they met in the common room and soon, the trio was off.

"on your left!"

"on your right!"

"oh, come on!"

he knew it was gonna happen, but for some reason it felt like it happened sooner than normal. either they were trying really hard to mess with him today, or he was off his game. but regardless, he pushed his body harder than he probably should have because when there was something obstructing his path, he didn't pause. no, he charged it straight on through and fell hard.

steve and bucky had seen this from a distance and immediately rushed to get to their friend.

sam rolled onto his back, exhausted and now in terrible pain from the fall. he closed his eyes and just let it all sink in. when he opened his eyes at the sudden foul smell flooding his nostrils, he could feel the palpitations, thinking he was about to have a heart attack.

"holy shit!" sam sat up like a rocket despite the way his body was throbbing from the fall.

the goose stared at him curiously and turned its head toward the pounding footsteps from the approaching brooklynites.

"sam! What happened?" steve was concerned, inspecting sam while bucky noticed the bird. The brunet bent down to meet the goose eye-level and was somewhat surprised that it didn't run away at the close proximity.

"did you trip the dumbass? was it your fault sam landed on his face? Huh, little guy?"

"honk! honk!"

"i thought so. good job, man." bucky pats the animal on the head gently before turning to help steve get sam off the ground.

"nothing’s broken but there's probably a sprain, can't really be sure until we get to cho." sam and bucky lift their friend from the pavement and they have no problem supporting his weight.

they began the walk back to the tower in silence. well, almost silence. there was a faint pitter-patter of tiny, webbed feet behind them that sam and bucky weren't paying attention to.

steve noticed the goose slowly waddling behind the trio and looked at sam with a smile. sam responded to steve’s happy face with a glare, not enjoying any of the situation he found himself in.

"look behind us, guys."

both men took turns looking behind them and see the goose waddling behind them patiently. sam wasn't particularly happy about the culprit from moments before trailing behind him, but bucky thought it was hilarious.

"do you know what this means?"

sam rolled his eyes because he thought the blond was about to make some sort of poetic comment about one thing for another.

bucky had paused to think about the implications of a random goose for a moment before gasping. "dude," bucky nudged sam softly, being conscious of his friend's injuries. "you’re gonna meet your soulmate, man!"

"a soulmate goose. man come on, are you out of your mind?"

"steve got his goose back during the war, i think we know enough about it."

sam had only heard vague reports of soulmate geese throughout his life, but now that he thought about it, it did make sense. the goose showed up randomly in the middle of his routine, completely throwing him off, and was now refusing to leave him alone.

"well if this is my soulmate goose, then somebody’s gotta tell tony about our newest avenger." they laughed at the implication, viciously eager to witness tony’s reaction to the newest resident of avengers hq.

it has been three days of dealing with your goose, and you were now teased at work as “bird brain”, walking into your office to see several loaves of bread covering the desk. your goose, that you had named piper once you got home, was excited at the prospect of more food, but you planned on donating most of the bread to local shelters, only keeping a couple loaves for the house.

the guest host that week was mick jagger, and he had emerged into the room “i dream of jeanie” style, startling both you and piper, who honked at him in irritation.

it was time for you to work on the song for your little sketch with him, and you had only two more days before performance night (it was thursday) to finish writing it. after settling down and getting into the right mindset, the writing process had begun.

"alright let's see," mick murmured. "let’s all go to the picnic, let's all have a drink. what rhymes with 'drink'?"

you thought for a moment and said quietly, "think?"

you weren't prepared for the absurd response you received from the man, his accent making him round mean as he barked out a loud "NO!" with an unnecessary hand gesture.

piper just about lost it. she was honking and flapping around your office in a tizzy (but staying away from mick because the man was seen as a stranger she wasn't comfortable with).

you racked your brain for another solution, something else to rhyme with 'drink' and you eventually found it: "sink?"

mick thought about it for a moment before replying with a much lighter "yes!" also paired with unwarranted pointing.

‘motherfucker, is this how you write songs?!'

thursday and friday came and went, and soon it was time for your piece to be performed by mick. du to an accidental ankle twist someone else suffered, you were forced to perform a skit live for the first time in your career. it would have been great, but there was one teensy problem: piper blatantly refused to leave your side when it was time to perform, and she would honk and bite anyone that tried to keep her from you onstage.

even poor bobby, who she had grown fond of, was taking the brunt of it. she was not allowing you to be more than a couple feet away from her, and it was almost endearing if you weren't being broadcast on national television.

apparently, piper would also be making her debut appearance on saturday night live tonight as well.

saturday had arrived, and it was sam’s day of rest. he spent the day doing the bare minimum, eating junk food and watching almost everything on netflix he could find.

he didn't stray too far from tradition, not really. it was just that now he had a goose accompanying him the entire time, honking at this and that and eating occasional pieces of popcorn that sam didn't want to share.

he didn't mind his feathered companion, he was actually quite fond of his goose at this point. whitewing (not to be confused with redwing) was the most calm goose any of them had seen, no biting or nipping and especially no honking at ungodly hours of the night.

steve was perplexed. "Are you sure whitewing hasn't done anything bad? no waking you up at night or bites when you don't feed him soon enough?"

sam would chuckle and shake his head, proud to have such a calm goose. "why are you so keen to see him misbehave? aren’t all soulmate geese like this?"

"for lack of a better word, most geese are assholes. i don't know how whitewing is so well behaved," steve balked at the very idea of all geese being so mellow and decided it was story time.

steve’s goose from the century before was the most rambunctious animal anyone had ever seen. he recounted the first and several occasions following where his soulmate goose, jimmy, fended off the blond man's alleyway attackers.

sam was extremely grateful that whitewing had less feral and goose-like tendencies. whitewing was extremely well behaved and had an almost human way about him, the way he honked in reply to sam or the rest of the team when they talked to him.

it was late in the evening when clint decided to plop down onto the couch and flick the channel to nbc, where tonight's host was mick jagger.

"why are we watching this?" sam was enjoying his sitcoms before the other bird man had showed up.

"i haven't watched it in ages, plus mick jagger is on tonight."

"alright, whatever you want."

the intro played like usual, and whitewing was perfectly complacent. they laughed in the right places with the occasional honking from the bird, and everything was great.

"hey man, look!" clint interrupted, keeping sam from being able to hear the punchline. "i think that's a goose!"

"why is there a goose? The skit has nothing to with-"

sam and clint seemed to come to the same realization at the same time as whitewing, the goose beginning to honk incessantly. he was going absolutely berserk, flapping his wings and hopping off of sam’s lap and onto the coffee table, occasionally pecking at the tv where he saw the other goose.

he was going absolutely bonkers.

"whitewing! whitewing, no! calm down!" sam scrambled to calm down his goose, but he was having none of it. the whole entire skit, whitewing was honking and flapping and being a general nuisance.

he found his soulmate.

whitewing kept at it until the screen went to a commercial, his soulmate off of the screen.

"y’know," clint spoke around a slice of pizza. when did he get pizza? "if you hurry, you could go to the studio and meet your soulmate. the show is about halfway over."

before sam could think over the proposition, tony’s voice was heard from the corridor. "somebody shut that damned bird up before I pay ramsay to cook it!"

"i’m taking care of it!"

with that, sam heads to the armory with whitewing on his tail to get his wings. once he's equipped, sam heads to the window and jumps, immediately setting his course for studio 8h and his soulmate.

you’re released to go back to your office once you finish the skit alongside mick and piper, the show almost over. you’re gathering your things lazily, knowing that you have no other responsibilities for the night.

just as you lock your office and piper is waddling beside you without a care in the world, you see kyle running towards you with a look of fear in his eyes. that fear seems to only triple when his eyes land on piper beside you.

"kyle! what’s-"

"there’s another goose on the set! no one is safe!"

wait, was he bleeding?!

you were going to try and help your friend but one look at piper sent him off the rails, the lanky man nearly falling on his ass in an attempt to skid the corner. you hoped that someone would help calm your panicked friend, seeing as you were literally the worst person for the job at the moment.

without further incident, you are able to say goodbye to cecily and mikey before you're stopped in your tracks by michael, who gives piper a funny look.

"wait, so the goose that attacked kyle wasn't piper?" You shake your head in confusion. "dude, your soulmate must have come to the set!"

piper must have either understood what your co-worker had said or she could sense a change in the studio, but she began to honk erratically and run away from you. the last thing new york needed was two feral geese running around attacking people, so you did what anyone would do and ran after her.

"piper! piper, come back!" michael laughed as you chased after your goose. while you were running, you nearly died when you heard a honk that you knew wasn't from your piper. hers were carved into your brain, and you were positive that you could pick hers out of an entire gaggle of geese, so there was indeed a second goose in the studio.

to your dismay, piper did not stop and wait, she just kept on honking and flapping and scaring people in pursuit of the other goose, poor old you having to chase her.

there was another voice you assumed was yelling at his goose since you didn't know of anyone naming their kid whitewing. your eyes were not looking straight ahead when you suddenly bumped into someone, immediately stumbling a bit before regaining your balance.

piper had stopped her honking and that scared you. did someone hurt her? was she-

her and another goose were making muted honks to each other. they sounded like affectionate honks, which is one of the weirdest sentences you ever constructed in your head. but it was true! they were cuddling close to each other and making really quiet honking noises at each other, and if that wasn’t affectionate then you didn’t know what would be.

so if piper found her soulmate, that means yours was-

"i hope comin' to your job was okay. whitewing wasn't gonna give up until I left, so here we are." your eyes were dragged from the touching scene of piper and her special goose to a pair of dark brown irises that radiated warmth and a promise of happy days.

you were absolutely dumbstruck. your mouth was unable to form coherent words, so you decided to take in the appearance of your soulmate. he was wearing a soft grey tee and sweatpants, and socks without shoes. did he realize how unsanitary the streets of new york were?

but upon further investigation, you realize that he probably didn't walk to the studio. on his back was what you would normally call a jetpack, but when you recognize the face your mind completes the puzzle: your soulmate is sam wilson, otherwise known as the falcon. holy shit.

"uh yeah of course, i guess you flew here? no sane person in new york would walk around barefoot in the street." did you really just say that?!

sam nodded and then remembered that he was in his pajamas in front of his soulmate without any shoes. "yeah, he wasn't gonna stop attacking the tv once he saw uh…"

you realized he was asking for your goose’s name, and so you hastily gave it to him.

"yeah, once he saw piper, he went wild. caused more chaos in five minutes than he did in five days!"

you laugh, the nervousness falling away as you recount the story of you first meeting with piper.

people are staring at the pajama-clad avenger and his soulmate, their geese finally satisfied. after all, it wasn't every day so many people were able to watch soulmate geese (and their people) meet for the first time.

sam gently took your hand, his thumb smoothing the skin on the back of it, just listening to you talk. you asked him a question about whitewing and he was in the middle of telling you when he cut himself off. "i just realized i don't even know your name!"

in most scenarios you’d be slightly put off by this, but you didn't have an issue because of the specific circumstances. if he weren't an avenger you wouldn't have known his either, and plus, no one really pays attention to the little rat writers. you give him your name and smile when he introduces himself, his voice even helping show off the brightest smile you’ve ever seen.

with impeccable goose timing, piper and whitewing honk at you to hurry your introductions and leave the studio.

"do you want to fly back to your place , or can I drive you?" it was a risk to ask him such a question, but you were genuinely concerned. you hoped he wouldn't think you were trying to jump his bones only minutes after meeting him so you used (terrible) humor to show your intentions. "you shouldn't fly so late at night without headlights, no matter how high up you get."

sam’s laughter was infectious and soon you joined him, your geese about to get more irritated with their humans.

"yeah, I'd like that. lead the way, soulmate." piper and whitewing honk as the two of you head to the lobby hand in hand, the birds waddling behind you just as happy as soulmate geese could be.

#falcon #sam wilson x reader #sam wilson #mcu #marvel #falcon falcon goose!#sam wilson imagine #falcon imagine #bucky barnes #please don’t judge this mess

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handonhaven · 3 years

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Okay Lizzie and Josie really pissed me off in 3x16. Like Hope just ran off with someone who tried to kill her and someone who manipulated Josie. With no clue why or where they were going. And Lizzie first thought was to try to find Hope a rebound. Not to try to find out where she went or if she was in any danger. And Josie was no help either she didn't bother to do any of those things. She just asked Lizzie with who. I also didn't like Lizzie comment either. When she said "we can't afford to be picky. Anyone who doesn't melt after having sex with her will do." Maybe it's just me and I'm taking that comment the wrong way. But when she said that I got so mad. Because what I took from that was being able to have sex is only thing that matters. So let's just try to hook her up with anyone. Doesn't matter if they're a killer or a psychopath as long as they can have sex then it's fine. I don't know maybe I'm just over reacting to that(but I can't be the only one to feel something like that after hearing that comment, can I?).

So, so many Handon scenes just hits so differently now knowing that Landon was really malivore. I'm not gonna lie after I found that out I went back and watched those scenes over again trying to see if I can find any clues or hints at it. But when I did that I start it to think about the fact that we had a whole season without the real Landon. Then I start thinking about the fact that Landon has had a whole season of going through trauma one right after the other since 3x02(when Raph died) and it only got worse from there. Then I got mad at the writers for doing that to him. It was bad enough that his life before coming to the school was hell. So were they just like yeah lets put him through a whole season a trauma too. Now before anyone says well Hope went through hell this season too. I'm not saying she didn't. But I feel like Landons was on a whole different level than Hopes. Because Landon had to watch his brother die, then had to watch himself melt, then he was in malivore, then in the prison fighting off monsters, to then having malivore take over his body. And who knows what he's going through in this own mind right now. But I think my biggest fear is that when they do get Landon back the real Landon. That they play off his trauma to save time(like they often do now). Or someone will try to downplay it like it was nothing. Because if they do that imma be pissed.

So I start it thinking about that maliLandon scene with Cleo when we saw both malivore's and Landons memories. And all of Landons memories were big Handon moments for season 2(I think there might have been some for season 1 but I can't remember). And I know they did that for a reason. I think in that scene it inspired both malivore and Landon somehow to do something. I just can't figure out what and I know myself this will be stuck on my mind until we finally find out lol. I'm already thinking up theories and all both make sense but don't make sense all at the same time. And this is really going to bug me.

P.S 1: I have to say this season had one very consistent thing, the "Logical" answer is wrong.

- Logic telling Hope, Landon was dead ....wrong

- Logic telling Hope, Landon was back.....wrong (Hope felt something was off but chose to ignore it bc she missed him)

- Logic telling Hope, she and Landon are doomed.....wrong

- Logic telling Cleo, to trust Landon and he was only traumatized.....wrong

- Logic telling them Malivore wanted Cleo to escape the prison world....wrong

- Logic telling them, the monsters were coming from a actual pit....wrong

- Logic telling Hope the only way to kill Malivore is to become a Tribrid.....wrong

- Logic telling Hope she caused Landon to melt.....wrong(okay I know we don't know for sure about that one. But that feels way way to much like a red herring with how much it's been said). Also another consistent thing is everything they say things Multiple times over and over again espesally things that have no concrete proof turns out to be False. They keep repeating these things; Landon is Human, Landon is dead, Landon is not a Phoenix anymore, Hope needs to become a Tribrid, Hope is toxic to Landon(once again I know we don't know for sure yet, but there's no way that isn't a red herring), Hope and Landon are doomed. Watch all turn out to be wrong.

2. The antis and H*sies are already coming out the wood works. And there this one line I see that they're really trying to hold onto like it's a win or something. How at the end of 3x16 when Hope said "we want our friends back" they're taking it like Hope sees Landon as a friend now(among other things but that would make this too long if I write it all out). Which is sad and means they're truly not paying attention to anything. And let me just point out that Hope was speaking for everyone not just herself. So it makes more sense for her to say "we want our friends back" then it would be for her to say "we want our friend and my boyfriend back". Since they're all friends with Landon and Cleo. Even though they're not very good friends to Landon(minus Hope because Hope is with Landon and treats him better than his "friends" does). But that's a whole other thing for another time. I do my best to say away from antis and H*sies but somehow one of them somehow always end up in my timeline. And it's gonna make these next three months so much longer than it needs to be tbh.

Same. Exactly! It was all so strange.

Lizzie was just upset over the fact that Hope ditched them, but Hope has always done stuff like that on her own to keep others out of danger. Yet Lizzie didn’t even seem to care, even though both her and Josie said they didn’t trust Clarke after all he had done. So they knew that Hope could’ve been in danger. But Lizzie’s highest concern in that moment was finding Hope a rebound as quickly as possible?? What on earth... And Josie acknowledged that Hope could be in danger, said she cared more about her actual life than her romantic one, but then proceeded to do nothing. And exactly! That comment really bothered me too! Yep, that’s also how it came across to me. Like Hope being able to have sex with someone was the priority, the rest wasn’t important. I don’t think you’re overreacting, I thought it sounded really bad. And the fact that Lizzie was focusing on that over Hope’s safety... I don’t even know what to say. Then Ethan shows up and they drag him into it, it was just a mess, and probably the weirdest way and time to bring in a love interest for Lizzie. Then they get to the school, are casually standing around chatting, then Lizzie wants to give Ethan a tour. All thoughts about Hope��s safety forgotten, besides Josie mentioning in passing that they needed to tell Alaric what happened. That was the full extent of their efforts to help Hope. Then she gets back and all they can talk about is how she ditched them? Not about what happened or if she’s okay? And they’re the ones who just promised Hope she wouldn’t be facing Malivore alone... not off to a good start.

And right? It’s crazy! Me too, watching the breakup scene is SO different now haha. But ugh, yes. We seriously had nearly an entire season without the real Landon... I can’t. And same. That’s one of the things I’ve been thinking about the most, and I’m honestly mad at the writers as well. Like, it’s actually shocking to think about just how much trauma he has gone through. And I don’t know what made them to decide to put him through that much because it’s unreal. Just... why?? So true, he had a lifetime of trauma before the show even started! Went through more trauma while at the school, going through death after death. And then went through the most horrible things this whole season. And yes, Hope did go through hell, but what she went through was very different. I agree, what Landon went through was on a whole other level. Exactly! He literally went through one trauma right after the other. And he went through them alone (apart from losing Raf). Without any help, and every single time he escaped one thing, he ended up in another and endured more trauma. He’s been through pure hell, nonstop, and I can’t imagine what state he’s in right now and how he’ll be when this is all over. Oh, and literally me. I’m honestly so worried they’re gonna do that too. That they’ll just ignore his trauma, that they won’t show how he’s been affected or have him talking about it. And it will just get cut off and forgotten and they’ll jump to the next thing and he may not get even a break. Because that really is what they do all the time. And right now is their chance to show what he’s been through. To go back and show what happened to him and show his side of things. We need to actually see what he’s been through and how he’s being affected right now. And once they get him back, they need to address it. They need to let him and Hope rest. I think season 4 needs to be about them healing together, though I’m sure they’ll be dealing with more crap. So I’m very worried about that, I will be pissed right along with you if they don’t go into that. That’s probably what I want to see the most at this point, and what I think is extremely important, not only for his character, but also because they shouldn’t ignore that kind of trauma.

And yes, they were! They had Landon remembering Hope telling him she loved him for the first time, and then those other huge moments for them, the 2x08 reunion, and the scenes in 2x11. I‘m wondering if those might be Landon’s most powerful memories. And I think you could be right, I’ve wondered the same thing, but I also can’t figure it out. Like they showed Handon memories with Malivore creating Clarke like... I’m so confused haha. They definitely left us with too many questions, and now we have to wait, it’s gonna suck.

Wow, you make very good points with that. That’s very interesting for sure. The writers really used “logic” as a way to mislead the characters in order to shape the plot for the season. And I think because of that, they also had to hold the characters back from investigating things further. When I feel like Hope, especially, would’ve looked into things more to figure out what was going on, but they couldn’t have them finding out yet so they just had everyone believing in the “logical” answer. Which does end up fitting with the idea that things are not what the seem, especially with all the things you listed that they keep repeating. Which does make it seem pretty obvious that they’re trying to convince us of these things that aren’t actually true. I think it’s gonna all turn out to be wrong as well. We already know it wouldn’t make sense for Landon to be fully human since he never was, and that he’ll surely get his Phoenix powers back. And I agree about Hope being toxic to Landon too, the more they’ve talked about it, the less I believe it’s true haha. And same now with them talking about Hope having to become a full tribrid, it seems like they might be doing the same thing. Or at least, if these things aren’t already wrong, Hope and Landon will find a way to prove them wrong by fighting their fate.

Yeah, those people clearly aren’t paying attention to the show and are grasping for anything at this point. Did they not watch Hope’s scenes with Clarke and how she responded to him talking about fighting fate? Did they not hear her literally tell Cleo that she still loves Landon? Obviously, Hope does not view Landon as just a friend. She was speaking for the group, just like you said. I don’t even think Hope sees Cleo as her friend right now. When Cleo told Hope that she hopes they can be friends again after all this, Hope said nothing and just walked away. So yeah, she was speaking for everyone else, although it’s weird that the rest of them would even view them as friends either. I’m pretty sure Kaleb is the only one who really sees Cleo as a friend. And true, they’re not even friends to Landon, none of them gave a crap when he died, so I’m not even sure why they were there. I guess since there’s a threat now? But anyway, yeah, I get that it’s hard to avoid those fans, the hate is everywhere. But knowing how ridiculous their reasoning is and how far they’re reaching helps me to just kind of laugh it off sometimes, although it is annoying. It gets so tiring to see, but I’m just gonna try to focus on enjoying Handon and ignoring the antis as best I can!

#answered #3x16 #legacies spoilers #spoilers

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into-control · 4 years

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i’m literally at the point where i just feel like shutting down // idk if this will make you feel better or worse but I think that's completely understandable bc we're literally in the middle of a pandemic that has caused major disruption to our lives, and a lot of us have also either gotten sick or known people who have gotten sick or even passed away, and it's all unbelievably stressful. and so it's kinda messed up that society expects us all to function normally

like idk if hearing other people are in similar situations will help or not (I'm sorry if it doesn't, I'm ok at it but I'm not great with social stuff, I'm on the spectrum), but my life is a whole mess right now. I think I'm a couple of years older than you so we're similar ages (ish), and I'm also stuck at home with my parents right now, I'm almost entirely closeted and it's causing some issues atm, and don't even get me started on online classes 😭✋. I haven't even been logging in to half of them, I have a group project that I've not even began, I have a lot of extremely important exams in literally a month, and I have not done anything. I don't even know the content.

I went from being top of the class and getting As and A*s to being at the literal bottom of the class and getting Ds and Es during this pandemic. and it's looking extremely likely that I'll fail the year, which is like £10,000 down the drain that I can't afford, and will mean I'll have to change all of my future education/career plans and do something else instead. I haven't been replying to emails, I've been struggling with other mental health issues a lot, etc. I went from functioning before the pandemic to barely functioning at all. and I'm really dreading going back to physical classes next week. people on the spectrum have a hard time dealing with changes, especially major ones, but tbh, even a lot of NT people are feeling thrown off by all of these changes and stressed and having a hard time

so I think I can understand (sort of) how you feel, even though I don't know your specific situation and only you know exactly how you feel, and it just sucks the way that we all have to continue on like everything is normal. imo places of education and workplaces should be providing more mental health support and being a little more relaxed with deadlines and the amount of work expected, but we're in a capitalist hellhole, so 😞

the way I've been trying to get myself through it is just reminding myself that other people are struggling too bc sometimes you really do feel like it's just you and that everyone else is doing fine. and for me personally, it makes me feel comforted almost, knowing that there are other people who know how I'm feeling right now, at least to some extent.

and I just keep reminding myself that we're gonna get through this. like it's an actual nightmare, and it feels like it's going to last forever, but it won't. it's just a really rough period in our lives, but it won't last forever. it's going to settle down eventually, and then we can hopefully get back on track and try to find some sort of plan to move forward from any damage that's been caused.

and for me, I'm also trying to start putting a lot more time into studying by waking up earlier and making to do lists and daily plans, because right now I've been avoiding things for several weeks (if not months), but I'm trying to fight that instinct and work against it

I'm really sorry you're going through a difficult situation too, and I really really hope you feel better soon. I didn't know what to say really because I'm not good at this kind of stuff and sometimes accidentally make people feel worse (😭), but I am really rooting for you and for me and for everyone else that's finding things difficult at the moment, and I really do believe that we can all get through this. and at least there's a vaccine now and things are looking more hopeful on that end. good luck with everything and I hope things improve for you soon!

this will end, and it's completely ok and normal and understandable that we're finding this hard, but it won't last forever at least 🙏 that thought is the only thing keeping me (somewhat) together right now, but it's true, our situations aren't gonna last. everything is awful and a mess and really difficult at the moment, but we're gonna get through it! ❤️

thank you ❤️❤️ i’m sorry about your grades, mine have been slipping a little bit and one side of me is completely freaking out about it and the other side is really indifferent to it bc i’m so drained but that in itself stresses me out so it’s all a big mess that i really just want to get through. i’m not very keen on losing my 80+ average scholarship and disappointing my parents but we’ll see

#ask #anon

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charrfie · 4 years

Text

Alright now that its officially Forzen Friday let's try this post again since it didn't show up in the tags last time-

I'M FINALLY MAKING A FORZEN HC DUMP (kinda AU-ish territory but not really idk exactly) AND NONE OF YOU CAN STOP ME

There are also a few other hcs sprinkled in here related to other characters (like Darnold and Sunkist for example) but Forzen is the main focus!! Despite him being a minor character I latched onto him and fleshed him out sm yall have no idea

Everything under the cut bc this shit is gonna be LONG (and there's also some more doodles that take up a bit of space!)

Also uhh if people like this I might take one for another hlvrai character later bc I have a lot to say about everyone!!

Forzen moved from France to the US with his parents when he was around 12 or 13 (yes, I'm aware that Scorpy and Holly are French Canadian and not France French but that doesn't mean Forzen can't be, I'm just being sure to say this now before someone says something to me about it)

He wanted to go to college and eventually become a game dev, but he didn't have the funds or the support for it (his family thought anything to do with games would amount to a career that would go nowhere).

Because of this, he instead was recruited in the US military. He originally had no intent to join, but after constantly being harrassed recommended to join and being entertained with the concept of being able to afford and pay for college, he caved (hence him telling the science team that his only goal is "to graduate").

He doesn't like his job very much if that wasn't clear.

And neither do most others that have the same job like him.

He was put on a "team" of his own, Team Nice, which was likely arranged as a guaranteed way to get Forzen in the way of danger, and with no one else fighting beside him, he would be easily dealt with- no one would have to worry about him bothering them again. However, he somehow manages to survive all of this, of course. Somehow. He likely knows the real reason he was assigned his own team (if you can even call it that), but refuses to fully acknowledge it for his own sanity, and instead pretends that he's some big, important person on a team that ranks so highly, he's the only one qualified to be in it. (I apologize ahead of time for giving one of the most shitposty and throwaway characters in hlvrai this much depth and angst, there was just potential there leave me alone)

Fast forward to the actual events of hlvrai though. This hc is a little outlandish but I really like the concept!!! So, at one point, Forzen is killed, presumably by some kind of creature that was out and about due to the RenCas. The science team + Benrey stumble across him (act 2 part 2 at around 13 min in for anyone curious), and Benrey decides to use the healing beam Sweet Voice on him. While Benrey and Forzen may not be on good terms anymore, Benrey still very begrudgingly cares about him and didn't want to see him get injured or die. Forzen wakes up a minute or so after the science team exits the room, assuming that he just passed out, nothing more, and goes along with things as normal.

He meets Darnold a while after his first (concious) run in with the science team. Darnold has recently dealt with the science team and helped them out, but is pretty bummed that he couldn't travel with them, as everything was far too scary and dangerous for him. Forzen, wanting to escape Black Mesa and the military altogether, ends up making a deal with him that he'll handle all the dangerous stuff if Darnold can show him a way out.

Now, meeting Darnold is a very new experience for him, since Darnold actually enjoys his company, and actually wants to befriend him! At first, Forzen openly tries to act as if Darnold is a huge deal to put up with- he goes along with with the whole "if you're escaping outta this hellhole with me, you better keep up" kinda deal (despite the fact that he kinda NEEDS Darnold to escape and show him the way out). His walls are still very much so raised, and he doesn't let his guard down as he's not used to others caring about him and his safety. But as time passes, he begins to realize that maybe Darnold DOES want to be his friend, and the tough guy act becomes less apparent.

To preface this next one- Sunkist sensed that something was up (he has a next-level sense of danger when it comes to Tommy's safety) and got to BM as fast as he could, searching every hallway for his boy. This is when Forzen finds him!! He figures that taking Sunkist as a hostage would be enough to get extra info out of the team that's been practically plaguing him lately.

Darnold doesn't know about Forzen's plans to take Sunkist hostage, so is completely fine with traveling alongside him. At one point though, Forzen and Darnold get separated (Forzen occupies him, makes sure hes safe and then runs off to deal with Sunkist). Darnold immediately uses his surroundings to model a quick little teleporter device to get Forzen back, because, you know, the man's a genius. Idc if its logical or not just go with it shhh I've gotta fill in the plotholes with something. That's why Forzen disappears all of a sudden after he's cornered by the science team. He just pops back in front of Darnold suddenly, all confused and loopy from the whole teleportation thing.

As things begin to wind down, Darnold and Forzen make it out of BM and start making a break for it, no idea how they'll get away from BM and to safety somewhere- they didnt really think things through.

Fortunately (or unfortunately for Forzen really), however, G-man picks both of them up. He means to drop Darnold off at Tommy's party, as he observed that Darnold helped his son to safety and is grateful for it. Forzen, though, he intends to "deal with" for messing things up so badly with Tommy, Sunkist, and all of Tommy's friends. This is where Darnold finds out about everything Forzen did and frankly gets really pissed with him since he thought he only had good intentions??? Luckily though, Darnold convinces G-man to give him a second chance, let him go to Tommy's party and apologize, and try things again. G-man, for some reasons agrees- probably bc hes in a good mood, as it IS his son's birthday.

The party is pretty uncomfortable to say the least. Tommy's extremely hesitant to talk to Forzen, but he does, and they end up on neutral terms by the end of it. Uneasy, but neutral. Tommy and Darnold hit it off though, and Tommy opens the invitation to Darnold that he can visit his place anytime now that everything at BM is over with.

As everyone's getting ready to leave, Forzen mentions to Darnold that he doesn't have a place to stay, seeing as the entire military was kinda. Yknow. Wiped out. Obviously wouldn't wanna go back to check anyways. And he has no interest in going home to his parents. So Darnold agrees to let him stay with him since they've become good pals over the course of everything.

Over time, Darnold visits Tommy more and more often. He starts bringing Forzen along, which Tommy is iffy of at first, but their dynamic starts to change and become more comfortable once Tommy sees that Forzen isnt interested in being enemies anymore.

Sunkist and Forzen still don't get along for a very long time. Or, well- it's moreso that Sunkist is very wary about Forzen, despite him not doing anything to harm either Sunkist or Tommy.

Oh yeah and almost forgot to mention one of my favorite hcs (that I PROMISE you started out as a joke but then I got attached) is Sunkist can talk!! So his first spoken interaction with Forzen after Forzen comes over to visit for the first time is literally just him being all threatening and laying down the ground rules bc he doesn't want Forzen to hurt Tommy at all in any way. And of course Forzen about has a heart attack bc "HUH??????? THERE'S A DOG THAT IS SPEAKING HUMAN WORDS TO ME"

UHH I HAVE MORE (I've written out so much shit about dynamics and what I'd think would happen even after all of this) BUT I DON'T WANT THIS TO BE TOO LONG like it already is SO I SUPPOSE I'LL LEAVE IT AT THAT FOR NOW!!!! I hope this isn't too ooc either, I just have Emotions about this series and write too much so why not share it yknow

#forzen #hlvrai forzen #hlvrai #hc time #PLEASE let this show up in the tags this time i will actually cry if not i spent so long on this

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