#But guess I'll only go in the morning at least I can swim get some D vitamine

[shinidamachu]

This year I'm going to be so normal about stuff.

[deecotan]

There’s a knock on the door. 

Zoro stirs from his sleep. Blinking his one functioning eye open, his mind – still foggy from having just woken up – slowly comprehends the darkness surrounding him. He struggles to gather his thoughts, wondering whether the knock was real or just a figment of his imagination. 

There’s another knock on the door. 

He shifts his gaze towards the digital clock on the bedside drawer. 4:47 AM. He groans; who the hell could be up this early?

He feels the body wrapped in his arms shifting slightly, the figure letting out a soft groan — apparently woken up by the mysterious person behind the door as well. He gently presses a kiss on the messy crown of blond hair, whispering, “I’ll get it.”

Sanji replies with a soft hum. Zoro reluctantly separates himself from his boyfriend and groggily stands up, not even bothering to put on a shirt to cover his naked torso. Whoever’s behind that door should know that no sane person would care about being presentable this early in the day. 

There’s another series of knocks, this time sounding more insistent, as he walks towards the door. Yawning, he peeks through the peephole and sees Luffy standing behind the door. He’s spotting some messy bed hair and is wearing nothing but a pair of shorts, his baggy red jacket, and his trademark sandals. 

Frowning, he opens the door, carefully as to not make a noise, and stares at Luffy with a squinted eye. He definitely didn’t bother arranging his eyesight either. 

“Morning,” Luffy greets him cheerfully. 

“It barely counts as morning,” he hisses, voice rather raspy, mustering the deepest glare he can make in his current condition. “What do you want, Luffy?”

“I’m looking for a pair of headphones.”

Zoro blinks at that. “Headphones?”

“Technically Usopp’s headphones. I borrowed it from him and I’m pretty sure I left it here in your room yesterday,” he continues. Right, he did remember Luffy coming into their room to talk about something with Sanji the day before. He wasn’t really paying attention though, so he couldn’t know if Luffy really did bring Usopp’s headphones and then somehow left it in their room — especially since he didn’t actually notice that object lying around. However, it might’ve as well got stuck in some corner, hidden from plain sight. 

“... you sure it's here?” he asks again.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Can’t it wait until later? Why now?”

“Me, Chopper, and Usopp are planning to go cold swimming,” Luffy grins. “We actually wanted to do it last night but the pool was closed after 8 PM and the hotel staff insisted on not letting us in even though we begged, they said I’ve already made enough mess in their dining area or whatever and they didn’t want any more trouble, so we couldn’t really do anything about it. They said it would open at 5AM so we decided to do it this morning. But Usopp said he won’t come unless I bring his headphones back, so—”

“Okay, stop, I get it.”

“Great! Now can I go inside or…?”

“Just- stay here. I’ll look for it. Fucking hell,” Zoro grumbles, moving inside the room to search for the object. “Where’s the last time you put it?”

“It’s near the sofa, I guess?” Luffy answers. He at least pays enough mind to keep his voice low to avoid disturbing the other person in the room, knowing wisely that doing so would only bring more problems. 

Zoro begins to inspect the sofa located on the corner on the right side of the room, forcing himself to search in the dark since there’s no way he’s going to turn on the lights. Sticking his hand to the back of the sofa, he eventually feels something wedged between the sofa and the wall, and after a little bit of fumbling, he manages to take it out and confirm it’s the supposed pair of headphones Luffy’s been looking for. 

“Is this it?” he presents the headphones to Luffy. 

“Yee-up,” Luffy cheers as he grabs it. “Thanks, Zoro!” 

Zoro gives an unbothered nod. 

“You can join us too, if you wanna,” Luffy offers.

“I'll pass.” Zoro is about to close the door on Luffy’s face before stopping halfway. He peers at the younger man from the slight opening of the door. “...have fun.”

Luffy grins widely, giving him a pair of thumbs-up. 

Zoro closes the door with a soft click before walking towards the bed and then throwing himself into the mattress. Tucking himself under the cover, he wiggles towards where his boyfriend is located and spoons the blond as soon as he touches him. 

“Cold swimming, hm?” Sanji muses. “Let’s just hope they’re not stupid enough to catch a cold after this.”

“M’sure Chopper’s ready to handle that.”

“You don’t wanna join them?”

“Nah,” Zoro replies, “I’d rather stay here with you.”

Sanji let out an amused chuckle. He gently turns his body so as to face the other man, circling his arms around Zoro’s back. “Just say you wanna sleep longer, you big baby.”

“Shaddup,” he hugs Sanji a bit tighter in a mocking attempt to crush him, causing  the other to laugh heartily. “Go back to sleep, curly.”

Sanji's laugh begins to slow down, ending it with a soft exhale. He tucks his head under Zoro’s chin and nuzzles comfortably into his boyfriend’s neck. He let Zoro’s gentle breathing soothe him into sleepiness. Soon, before he knows it, they both fall into a peaceful slumber. 

Notes: I wrote this on a whim in... 2020. Holy shit. I thought maybe this deserves a chance to be put on the spotlight for staying in my drafts for so long. I was partly inspired by my own experience of staying at a hotel with my extended family in the event of my relative’s wedding. There’s just something about the experience of staying in one place with your family or close relatives, the feeling of liminality where you know that moment of togetherness is only temporary. It’s also a moment where you and your similar-aged relatives would get into all sorts of weird shit, at least in my experience. 

[kaimelia]

and maybe we won't feel so alone

"Good morning," Kai whispers as Amelia curls into their body and throws her arm across them. They weave their fingers into her hair from the base of her neck.

"Mm," she sighs, tucking her face into their neck. Their nails gently rake against her scalp.

"I have plans for us today." She lifts her head, stifling a yawn and meeting their eyes.

"I'm assuming you're not going to tell me what we're doing, are you?"

"Nope," they grin, tossing the comforter off their body and standing. "But, you may want to wear something you can move around in." Her eyes widen as she watches them trade their pajamas for proper clothes. "And layers. It'll be cold in the morning and again in the evening."

"Please tell me this isn't too physically intensive."

"I promise it's not," they hold their hand out to her and tug her out of bed, neatly tucking the comforter under the pillows after she gets up. "And, we're just getting breakfast first."

"Is there something going on that I don't know about?"

"What do you mean?"

"You have plans for us that aren't just laying in bed all day. That's not really something we do." They roll their eyes in amusement as she pulls a sweater over her t-shirt.

"I like fall. And, you've yet to explore most of this state or even this town, so I figured we could get out of this apartment for a day."

"Only if our breakfast place has incredible coffee," she grumbles, putting on a pair of leggings.

"Do you really think I would take you somewhere that didn't have decent coffee?"

-------------------

"Are you a regular here?" Amelia takes a sip of her coffee and sets it on the table.

"Not really. I honestly don't eat out much; I either order delivery or cook."

"How do you know the barista then?" Kai's face goes pink.

"Let's just say that there aren't that many queer people in this town," they laugh softly. "It was a one-night thing."

"Now I know how you feel walking down the halls of Grey-Sloan."

"I at least get to take pride in the fact that I'm taller than your exes," Kai winks and nudges her foot under the table.

-------------------

"We'll have to come back in the summer; they have amazing ice cream and a ton of people bring blankets and just set up on the lawn there," they wave toward a grass area. "We can rent a kayak or something and go down the water."

"I'll only agree to that because I trust your swimming skills enough to save me if we tip over." They stick their hands into the pockets of their sweatshirt and laugh.

"Are you a swimmer at all?"

"We lived near a lake when I was little, so I probably wouldn't drown, but I'm not the strongest swimmer."

"So, you would need to be saved in a moment of panic."

"Exactly." Amelia nudges them with her elbow. "I'm glad you know why I keep you around." They nudge her back.

"How about ice skating?"

"I went a few years ago and fell so many times that it hurt to sit down for a month," Amelia mutters. "Why? Were you a figure skater?"

"Do I seem like the type?" They widen their eyes and raise their eyebrows until she shakes her head. "Sometimes, I take a trip upstate in the winter with some friends. The lakes freeze over, and you can bundle up in sweaters while you skate around."

"Did you grow up around snow?"

"Only once during my childhood. When I went to college, I fell in love with snow and everything about the winter up north." They link their arm through hers. "You?"

"I grew up around it. I don't hate it, and I guess I like winter more than not."

"You don't even get real winter in Seattle," Kai shakes their head. "You've gotta spend a week up here in January. We can go to a cabin up north and bundle ourselves in blankets after we ice skate and make snow statues." 

"You've got this all planned out, huh?"

"I told you that I love winter."

-------------------

"Do you think we'd still be here if I had taken up your offer for dinner all those months ago?" Kai raises their eyebrows as they twirl pasta around their fork.

"I'd hope in some capacity, yeah. Things may have happened a bit sooner, but I don't think a singular dinner would've dramatically changed the course of our relationship." Amelia nods, taking a sip of water as she holds their gaze. "You think about that a lot?"

"I spent the entire plane ride that night wondering, and I barely got any sleep. I was honestly worried I had passed up my opportunity to go out with you."

"I'll be honest; part of me was a little worried you were just trying to let me down easy." Her head tilts to the side, and she pouts out her lip. "I mean, it was pretty obvious that there were feelings, but I didn't know if you were open to a relationship, let alone doing long-distance."

"Have you done long-distance before?" Kai sets down their fork and clasps their hands together.

"When I was in college, my first real relationship. She transferred schools after our first year. It was a four-hour drive, which doesn't feel like long distance now, but as a broke college student without a car, we were a world apart. And then, I moved to Minnesota and did long-distance with my partner at the time."

"How'd that go?"

"Well, I didn't date again until you came along, so I'll let you take a guess." They bite the inside of their cheek and shrug. "You?"

"Never," she shakes her head. "I was a little hesitant, but I figured we'd both be traveling back and forth for work enough that it wouldn't be unbearable."

"It's much easier when you're both adults and can write off flights as work expenses," they smirk. 

"And with facetime. I think it'd be much more difficult if I couldn't see you every day and just sit on the phone with you."

"You know what else phones are good for?" Amelia blushes as they wink at her.

"We're at a fancy restaurant. I don't think it's appropriate to start talking about phone sex," her eyes widen as she speaks.

"I was going to say texting, but if that's where your mind went," they murmur, and Amelia kicks them under the table.

"Yeah, I totally believe that's what you were going to say."

"I'm glad you understand me so well."

-------------------

"Could you grab that for me?" Amelia points, standing on her tiptoes and pointing at a book on the highest shelf. Kai grabs it, gently hitting it on the top of Amelia's head before handing it to her. She pouts and tucks it under her arm. "You realize that I'm average height, right? It's not like I'm obscenely short or something."

"You're obscenely shorter than me," they wrap their arms around her from behind, resting their chin on her head.

"I haven't taken the time to read a book in what feels like forever."

"I didn't for the longest time. Reading just felt like work for school, but I've found that it can be a good way to get out of my head." Their arms fall from her waist, one gently dragging across her back as they step away. "I could justify coming to the library or a bookstore more than sitting in my apartment alone forever. No one will really try to talk to you, but it feels social enough."

"Reminds me of being in school and camping out in the library all night." Kai crouches and pulls a book off the shelf. "Feels like sleep deprivation and stress." They nod in agreement and stand, flipping through the pages of the book in their hands.

"It's almost comforting, huh? We spend so much of our lives cramming our brains with knowledge, and then we get into the real world and become the ones who share that knowledge." Amelia bites her lip and hums.

"Very profound." Kai snorts softly, reaching over and linking their pinky through Amelia's.

"There's a couch back here," they gently pull at her finger. "It definitely feels more homey than my college library."

"Less fluorescent lighting definitely helps." She follows them as they flop back onto the couch. "Am I allowed to ask why we're here?" They shrug.

"I found a lot of comfort in this place. I wanna start sharing things like this with you. We spend so much time in bedrooms and labs, and sometimes I just want to hold your hand in public and explore." The corners of Amelia's lips turn upward, and she leans back into the cushion, watching as Kai opens their book. Her face softens as she sees them settle, their eyebrows furrowing gently as they scan their eyes over the page. She pulls her legs up onto the couch and opens to the first page of the book in her arms.

-------------------

"It's about 30 minutes away. And this is the last thing I have planned."

"Are you, Kai Bartley, taking me to watch the sunset?"

"Are you, Amelia Shepherd, going to tease me for trying to do something nice?" The brunette fastens her seatbelt and lolls her head to look at them.

"No, I love it. I can't remember the last time someone put this much effort into doing something romantic." They turn the radio on and place their hand on her thigh as quiet music fills the car. "Is this going to be a hike, though? Because I don't know if I have that much energy in me."

"It's not that far. We'll drive most of the way up, and then it's just a short walk from the car. And, if you really need, I can always carry you."

"I mean, if you're offering," she shrugs, lacing her fingers through theirs.

"If you do want to go hiking, though, let me know. I spent my first few months in Minnesota exploring every hiking trail within a two-hour drive of Rochester."

"You're into hiking?"

"A bit. It helped me clear my mind. Adjusting to a new state and home while going through the end of a relationship was a lot to handle."

"Why'd it end? If you don't mind me asking." She squeezes their hand.

"I gave her the option to come with me, to move in together and take things to the next level. She was going to and then decided she couldn't right before we were supposed to move. There was a month of her telling me it would happen, but it always fell through until she finally told me she didn't want things to get more serious." Kai exhales heavily as the car comes to a stop at the traffic light. "I think it was good for me in the long run. I took the time to learn how to be independent and figure out what I wanted with my career."

"But breakups still suck." Amelia puffs out her cheeks.

"They really do," Kai chuckles. "Promise me we won't do that?"

"You're not getting any argument from me." Her eyes close in relaxation as Kai softly sings along to the radio, drumming rhythms on Amelia's thigh with their fingers.

Before she knows it, they park the car and turn off the engine, turning to look at her in the light of the car. "You ready? We should make it just in time for the sunset."

"Yeah," she leans over the console and captures their bottom lip between hers.

"As much as I want to sit here and make out with you," they mutter, kissing her again, "let's get moving." She feigns a groan and steps out of the car, following them as they open the trunk. "It's gonna get a little cold, so here." They pull a hat onto her head and hand her gloves before grabbing their own hat. "Alright, ready?"

-------------------

"Here we are," Kai sighs, squeezing Amelia's hand as they tug her toward a bench. She sits beside them and leans her head on their shoulder, smiling as they lean against her. 

"You okay?" She asks after a while, running her thumb over the back of their hand. "Not that I mind the day's worth of events, but it's a bit out of the ordinary for our typical weekend activities."

"If I tell you something, can you promise not to get upset?" Amelia lifts her head from their shoulder and raises her eyebrows. 

"That's a very loaded question. I don't know if I can promise because if you're about to break up with me, I may get a little upset."

"Just a little?" They chuckle. "No, it's not that." They're silent for a moment as they look up at the sky and pull their legs to their chest. "It's my birthday."

"Today?" There's a layer of shock in her voice. Kai shrugs. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Historically, my birthday has never been a good day for me. Everyone loves making a huge deal out of it, as if I'm the only person to have a birthday, and you know just how much I love attention. And, it normally means phone calls from family and birthday cards signed with 'you'll always be my little girl,' or something along those lines," they whisper, sighing gently as their chin rests on their knees. "Anyway, that's why I asked you to come out this weekend. I want to start making good memories on my birthday to replace all of the dread and fear that surround this day in my mind." Amelia purses her lips tightly before she scooches closer to them and wraps her arm around their body. 

"Did it work? Today, making good memories for this day?" 

"Yeah," they nod, letting out a shaky exhale as Amelia leans her head back onto their shoulder. "It's the first time I've actually put effort into making this a good day and being honest about things. I got to take the person who means the world to me to the places that mean a lot to me. But, I'm dreading going home and finding whatever mail's been delivered."

"Do you wanna head home and burn all the birthday cards waiting there?" Kai chuckles, wiping their nose with their sleeve as they sniffle. 

"That sounds wonderful," they smile, blinking away the last of the tears in their eyes. "Sorry, I'm usually not a crier."

"You're not allowed to apologize for crying when you sit on the phone with me practically every week while I cry," Amelia sits up and kisses their cheek, taking their face in her hands and gently tracing her thumb down their cheekbone. "Crying's good. Better than keeping it all inside. And, for the record, I'm not upset with you for not telling me it was your birthday. Although, you will have to let me get you at least a little gift."

"You don't have to do that," they take her hand in theirs and stand, their tightly laced boots crunching the leaves below them. "You already flew out here for the weekend, and we spent the entire day together. That's more than enough." Amelia sighs as they pull her up and lead her back to the path.

"Then you're not allowed to get me anything for my birthday."

"That's not fair because you enjoy your birthday, so there's actually a reason to celebrate." She groans, and Kai breathes out a laugh at her dramatics. "Although, I do have an idea for a present if you really feel the need to get me something." Amelia grins.

"And what would that be?"

"An orgasm or two. Or, a few more."

"Now that, I can do easily." She swings their arms upward. "Does this start when we get home, in the car, or do you want me to get on my knees right now?" Kai snorts and pushes her gently with their body.

"Happy birthday, you're arrested for public indecency," they mutter under their breath, rolling their eyes. "We'll see how many cars are in the parking lot when we get down this hill," they whisper into her ear and slide their arm around her waist. "Tinted windows come in handy."

[anaalnathrakhs]

auuuurgh

i feel so fucking bad. i want to do things so badly but there's always the looming threat of my parents waking up eventually. they'll be awake and doing stuff when i wake up if i go to sleep. scheduling driving lessons feels so fucking complicated cuz they have to be like a month in advance at least. and i have no idea how i'll be in a month. and things might happen. and it feels scary to plan for the future. i miss sports so bad but everything feels so complicated. the bouldering gym costs money. i went and it was... okay but i started feeling like a goldfish going in circles after like one go. the bike pump is cooked bc we havent used it in many years (cuz we live up a FUCKING HILL i fucking hate you) and both my bike and my dad's are deflated as fuck. the municipal bike rental in my city costs money and it's not covered by the bus subscription. i don't have the roller skills for going down this MOTHERFUCKING HILL with them, nor navigate the MANY hills in my town. i got to swim a couple times recently and it just felt so small. i miss being a kid and actually having fun. enjoying the things i did. i can't do two miserable pullups without my brain screaming at me that my life is worthless and everything is boring and feed me a bottle of vodka and two months of restrictive behavior lest you'll never feel happiness again. school is difficult but rewarding and im doing my best. living with my parents is making me wish i could fucking poison their coffee in the morning. guess which has mandatory breaks and which im obligated to handle as soon as i come home, and on days off, and on holidays, and every fucking time they want to talk to me and do things with me. holy shit. i get it. you were sooooooo vewy sad uwu when i was more solitary, and now you're sooooooo glad i've finally learned to shut the fuck up (most of the time) and participate in your activities! awesome for you! then why do you fucking complain when the very real consequences of catering my life to please you poses you an inconvenience? holy shit i'm doing my best, i'm trying to be what you wanted because i KNOW i was a difficult child all my life and i don't want you to struggle any more than necessary now that i can do what you expect of me. are you not happy. sorry i can't be fucking perfect. sorry i'm so horrible and bitter-hearted that i can't enjoy normal things like family meals and spending time with you.

"our relationship isn't only problem-management" FOR YOU MAYBE IT ISNT. my entire fucking LIFE has been problem-management. why did you have a kid if you weren't prepared for it to struggle? why didn't you take half a look at dad's childhood, or my uncle's childhood, and understand that there was going to be some problem-management to do. i would've liked a little less being dragged to amusement park trips and out of the country vacations, and a little more help for my mental health. maybe it wasn't all problem-management to YOU because you halfassed a quick bandaid on it and then left me to manage it however i could. i know it's a very complicated situation with no breakage-free outcome, and i don't know if i would've done it better had i been in your shoes, but 1st of all THAT'S WHY I NEVER WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN AND IF I EVER THINK ABOUT IT YOU CAN KNOCK ME OUT AND TAKE THE GONADS AWAY, and 2nd of all i wish you would stop insisting i have no reason to not trust your help or ask you for help nowadays. not only you have repeatedly not helped or made it worse in the past, but you have kept doing that recently. which i understand, i am older and you do not owe me massive changes for something i can take actions on myself, but then obviously i'm not going to keep asking you for help with the same problem and asking for the same solutions. stop telling me i need to resolve it I KNOW IM WORKING ON IT. and yeah sorry i don't want to shift the whole blame of communication troubles on you, because god knows i suck at that, but you have to understand that "but you didn't say anything at the time :(" is not an argument. i was barely 13. i didn't voice an anxiety i had about something i hadn't tried yet. then i spent four days calling you on the phone begging you to help me out, the entire weekend from the second you came back for me friday evening to sunday before going to sleep begging you to not make me go back, and you still said "lol no you're not gonna give up this easily". and you tell me that, again, as if i was supposed to have said something earlier (when it was preemptive anxiety that could've ended up being unfounded) and then you'd have been all cool and dandy with it and not made me go?????? just admit i have reasonable reasons to not trust you to offer executive help on my problems it's alright i'm 18 you don't have any obligations anymore.

it's so fucked up i'm so fucked up. i havent been normal a single second of my life. i was kinda going beyond the need to be explicitely invited to everything, cuz i thought that it was kinda irrational of me and that most people would just tell me if i started going to far. but then i act weird anyway and my friends dont say anything at the time and then rib me about it later on, and i just have no fucking idea what i should and shouldn't do anymore. i dont want to put any pressure on my friends because we're all fucked up and full of irrational and raw maladapted behaviors, we're all mentally ill and not even fully young adults, and i want to do my best to extend the olive branch anytime i can, which they also often do for me, but then i don't know what to do, am i validating something that does more harm than good? how do i bring it up without hurting them and making everything worse? i don't know what people expect of me, i don't know what people want out of me, i don't know what i want out of people, i don't know what's good.

i've read that essay about hippie subcultures and drug culture, "mind openness" and ego death and how it could be reached without drugs and how straights who do LSD still won't get it. and i'm gonna be honest, i've never done hallucinogenics, i've never even experienced hallucinations, i don't want to make a faulty comparison, but a lot of it really resonated with what i felt when i was in permanent calories deficit. i felt depressed and anxious sometimes but also so often the world felt beautiful. peaceful. i could fucking sleep. i could enjoy the moment. fucking meditate even. i feel like i'm going mad. i want to go back so badly. god i remember when i started binging/eating a maintenance amount of cals again. it was so bad it felt so fucking painful to feel like nothing was enough AGAIN.

im tired i think im gonna manage going to sleep. every day i hope it's the day i can fall back into restrictive patterns again.

[saltynsassy31]

This is going to be a long one, and since I just need to let some thoughts out I'm going to cut it here

I've been in a strange mood lately, I'm not as depressed as I used to be, I think, or at least I don't feel as sad, rather I feel....empty almost, I feel nothing.

I'm stressed but also just floating with time.

But I also still do feel something, like happy or angry, but only when I reach the extremes.

I stare at an empty paper feeling angry, tired, annoyed, confused, lost, upset.

I feel so much that I feel nothing at all.

It's 3 in the morning and I feel so lost? Like I'm in some sort of haze, walking through a foggy forest with no clear path to follow, the signs are broken and point at the wrong direction so by not trusting it I take the path I feel like taking but I'm insure.

I have projects due this week, yet I don't seem to bother to finish them.

I want to draw and tell my stories but they feel so foggy and distant from where I am at, i can't generate a proper time line. When I try to draw it's like my muscles become noodles, weak, lazy, and all I want to do is sleep, sleep and sleep.

I don't want to die either, there is still so much more I want to do before that happens, so much more that I need to do but I'm just so tired lately.

I don't know how to describe this feeling, really, I'm not sad, like at all, i don't feel as lost as I used to be, I know what I want to do and how to do it. Just this part of my life is not it right now, and I guess that's just part of living.

I start to wonder if all of this is even worth it, if I should just quit while I'm at it, but that would just make things harder.

There is so much I want to express but there are no words for it, it just is, and it's frustrating, I wish someone could understand how I feel, no sympathy or anything, just understanding, I don't want help, or advice, just to be seen....maybe, idk.

I'm just listening to some retrowave music as I try to go to sleep.

I want....what do I want? I want many things, but right now I want to be floating in nowhere in particular, I just want to be floating in a place where everything feels purple and blue, where the smell of wet grass overflows my senses. I want to be sitting in my porch of my house that doesn't exist, staring at the sunset or sunrise, seeing those pretty blues, pinks and oranges, the stars slowly fading away, a jacket over my shoulders as the fairy lights from my porch light me up, the waves of the beach infront of my fictional house hitting the sand and socks, making soothing noise to my ears. I want soft music that gives me that sweet taste of nostalgia, the feeling of being young and naive, of the days where it would rain so hard we'd have to stay at home, my parents napping and me and my sister would build pillow forts and make a city with our plushies, playing pretend as the droplets of rain hit our window.

We'd open it to smell it and feel the wind because our city was so dry, this was a miracle.

The days we'd get back from school and go down to our apartment's pool and swim on it, floating as we stared at the abiss of the night, only the pool lights keeping us company, until we were called from the window to come eat dinner.

I guess I just miss that.

I miss...home.

A home that wasn't a place but a fleeting feeling.

I try to convey that in my stories, I'll be honest, i hate being labelled as the angst queen, my stories being nothing but a way to torture a character. Don't get me wrong i like to joke about it, but not when I'm being serious about a plot point in my story.

It's healing to have them go through so much and still find peace, to think of them in this place I just described even though they've seen and done so much, to know that it'll be okay after all, that in the end of the day, they can still watch the sunset.

It's peaceful to know they aren't alone, that it's okay...it'll be okay.

There's a reason why I like dreamcore so much i suppose, it's....how do I even put it? Healing? Bittersweet? Scary in a safe way?

I don't know anymore.

I like to imagine my ocs just having peaceful moments, just chilling and having fun, without worrying about anything but their own enjoyment.

I'm getting sleepy but there is so much more I want to say, even when nobody is reading, it's nice to say it out loud...or write it I suppose.

Idk, I'm not sure anymore.

My eyes are burning, I should go to sleep.

I have more to say but right now isn't the time, I'm not sure when is, but oh well, maybe I'll find words to describe these feelings one day.

Or maybe it's not words i need, rather ways to show it, through story telling or drawing....I'll find a way, good night.

[moceit]

Where We're Meant To Be

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Summary: After finding out the king and queen had arranged for him to marry a complete stranger, Prince Patton decided he needed to run away from his kingdom to escape the wedding he didn't want to go through with.

He meets Janus, a traveler, who agrees to help the runaway prince escape with the aid of his men by their side. What could possibly go wrong?

Pairings: Eventual Moceit

Chapter 2

Word Count: 3,990

Chapter Warnings: Uh... Food... And a joke about fondling ducks. Let me know if there's anything else

Read on AO3

Patton sat criss-crossed in Janus' small tent as Janus rummaged through a bag trying to find something for Patton to blend in better.

"You need to be unassuming." Janus told him as he pulled a shirt out, examined it, and put it back. "Although, with your red hair that might prove more difficult. Maybe a hat? I used to wear one all the time. Hopefully I packed it with me."

Patton pulled some hair with his fingers so he could see it himself. He'd been told before by his grandma that he had the "most unmistakable head of curly red locks." Patton never took hiding his hair into account. He didn't think it mattered that much.

"Ah, here it is!"

Janus shoved a clump of clothes into Patton's arms. "Get changed. I'll be right outside if you need anything."

Patton examined the clothes in his hands. Right, time to get dressed.

More than a few minutes passed as Janus stood impatiently waiting for Patton to come out so he could examine the outfit he picked out for him.

“Are you good in there?”

“Um, I think we have a problem.” Patton replied.

“What could possibly be wrong?”

Patton came shuffling out of the tent holding up the pants he was wearing so they wouldn’t fall down to his ankles. “They don’t appear to fit.”

Janus failed to take into account their difference in size. Patton was practically swimming in the shirt, he could’ve almost worn it as a dress, and the pants came up past his belly button. He was struggling to keep them in place. At least the knitted hat fit perfectly over his head.

“Roman! Virgil!” Janus called back to the other men at the campsite. “Do either of you have anything smaller the prince could possibly borrow for the time being?”

“Nope.”

“Sorry, boss.”

Janus tapped his chin with his finger as he circled around Patton, looking him up and down. “Hmm… Well, I guess we’ll have to make it fit then.”

“How are we going to do that?"

“Virgil, does Logan keep any spare rope in your tent?”

“I’ll go check.” Virgil sprinted into his and Logan’s tent.

“Rope?” Asked Patton.

“We’re going to turn it into a belt for you. Hopefully that’ll keep your pants in place.” Replied Janus. “Tomorrow morning we’ll make our way to Haywood and see if we can find you something more suitable for your tiny frame.”

“What’s Haywood?”

“It’s a small village. We’re not that far from it, but it means we’ll have to get an early start if we want to get there before all the shops close."

“Are you sure you want to go back to Haywood?" Roman smirked. "You swore we’d never return." Janus shot him a glare. Roman's smirk vanished, and he went back to tending the fire. 

"It's either that or head back into Mayrilius, but with our royal runaway in tow I fear that would be... counterproductive." Janus gestured back towards Patton. "We'll make it quick. No one will even notice we were there."

“What happened in Haywood?”

“It’s not important.” Janus barely let Patton finish his question before he shot back his response. “New clothes. In and out.”

Patton knew he wasn’t entitled to know everything about these men. As far as any of them were concerned their only job was to drop him off at Bryer. There was no room to unpack all their personal lives. But Patton couldn’t help a natural curiosity rise within him. He desperately wanted to know, but if he’s learned one thing so far Janus won’t give away information so easily. Hell, he held off on giving Patton his name until Virgil addressed him as such.

“You’re in luck. I found some rope in his bag.” Virgil stepped out of the tent holding some rope neatly raveled up in his hands.

“Perfect.” Janus grabbed the rope from Virgil. He wrapped the rope around Patton’s waist then pulled out a dagger from his boot. Patton flinched as Janus brought the dagger closer to him. “I’m not gonna stab you.” Janus tried to reassure as he cut the rope and tied it snuggly around Patton’s waist. “How does that feel?”

Patton wiggled a little. “Well, they aren’t falling down.”

“Good.” Janus returned the dagger to his boot and handed the rest of the rope to Virgil. “This will hold for now. Virgil, go find Remus and Logan and tell them we’re making a stop in Haywood tomorrow.”

“On it.”

“Oh,” Janus stops Virgil before he could go, “and thank Logan for the rope.”

Virgil glared at Janus. "You can come with me to tell him that personally. I'm not facing his wrath alone." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Damn, I'm not gonna get out of this, aren't I?"

Virgil shook his head. "He probably won't tear our heads off if you're the one to break the news."

Janus shrugged. "Fair." He returned his attention back to Patton. "You'll be fine alone with Roman for a minute, right?"

"I suppose…" answered Patton. "Is it okay to be borrowing this rope? If Logan's not going to like it then we can find someth—"

"It's fine. He'll get over it." Interrupted Janus. "They shouldn't be out that far. I'll be back in just a moment." 

Janus and Virgil disappeared into the woods to check in with Logan and Remus. Patton turned to Roman who was sitting by himself next to the fire. Patton still felt awkward around these people and hesitated as he shifted his weight from where he stood, unsure of what to do.

"You can join me, if you'd like." Roman looked over to him and gave him a large, warm smile. It was the most genuine smile Patton has seen today and it made a soft smile creep up on his own face. "I don't bite... I can't say the same thing about my brother, though."

For the first time in days Patton let a laugh escape his lips. It felt good, natural even. Patton loved to laugh more than anything. Roman chuckled a little along with Patton which helped Patton's unease wash away from him a little. He walked over to Roman and took a seat beside him on the ground. 

"I'll keep that in mind."

Roman picked up a fire iron he had sitting next to him and began mindlessly poking at a piece of wood in the fire as he spoke to Patton. "I was a little shocked Janus agreed to help you– considering the circumstances."

"How so?" Patton felt like he already knew the answer but he wanted to hear it from someone who was actually close to Janus.

Roman shrugged. "It's just not in Janus' taste to help others he isn't close to. Then there's the problems with traveling with someone of your status." Roman sets down the fire iron. "Although maybe that's exactly why he was interested. If you weren't… you, he probably would've declined in an instant."

Patton frowned as he pulled his legs up to his chest and curled in on himself. He was afraid of that. "He initially laughed at me for even posing that question to him." Patton stared deeply into the fire as he remembered that scene a couple hours ago in the tavern. "It was after he realized I was a prince that he decided to help me." He shrugged. "I don't know. I think he felt sorry for me."

"You must be pretty special if Janus was actually concerned for your well-being." Roman winked at him.

Patton wanted to assume Roman meant it was because of his status that made him so special to Janus, but he felt his cheeks heat up at the idea that it could mean something more. He hadn't felt like anyone had actually cared about him since he lost his grandma. It felt nice thinking about that very possibility.

The two of them fell into silence. Roman watched the fire crackle while Patton let himself get lost in his thoughts, taking this moment to appreciate how far he had gotten already.

Three days. Patton managed to evade palace guards for three days but he didn't make much progress. He had some doubts that he'd even make it that far, but when Janus agreed to help him out his spirits rose. This was his opportunity to make it out of Mayrilius and now he was sitting at a campsite preparing to leave for a different kingdom and finally make some progress.

Patton glanced at Roman. Still, the concern the other members of Janus' party had expressed earlier came back into mind. 

"Roman, can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot!"

"Do you guys really think this is a bad idea? Virgil seemed so uncertain and…" he trailed off, looking down at himself. "I don't want to be a burden. That's not why I'm doing this."

"I wouldn't worry about what Virgil thinks. He has the tendency to panic over everything." Roman tried to reassure. "But, I'm not without my doubts. What we're doing is really out of the ordinary. I think we're all concerned that something bad could happen to you. The world is a dangerous place if you're not prepared for it. Janus doing this for you will come with it's consequences. He knows what he's putting us all through just to help you successfully escape."

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to trouble anyone. I just got scared."

Roman stood up and walked over to the pile of firewood. He grabbed a couple pieces and brought them back over to start placing them in the fire.

"You're lucky you found us, Patton. If you were to have asked anyone else then who knows what would've happened to you." Roman put the last piece of wood into the fire then glanced back at Patton. "Sorry, I shouldn't have planted such grim thoughts in your head. We'll keep you safe. You can count on us." He swiftly stood up and bowed at the last sentence. 

While bowing down he offered his hand to Patton to help the prince back up. Patton graciously took it. "Come on. Let's go see what the others are getting up to."

_

"Janus I think you're completely balmy!" Patton overheard Logan say as he and Roman approached the spot where Logan and Remus were supposed to be preparing the duck for cooking.

"Balmy?" Remus sounded almost offended by that word. "Logan, what did we say about using the fancy language."

"Insane." Logan corrected himself through gritted teeth, glaring back at Remus and adjusting his glasses.

"Ooh, Logan, save those eyes for the bedroom." Remus giggled.

Logan gawked, an undignified noise coming from his throat that told everyone there that he did not appreciate Remus' remark.

"Can it, bro. You know Logan would rather eat a wet sock than wanna sleep with you." The other four men seemed to notice Patton and Roman's presence at the same time from the latter man's response.

"Eating a wet sock? That sounds like a fun challenge!" Said Remus.

"Ew!" Patton's face contorted into a look of disgust as he shuddered.

"Don't mind Remus. You'll get used to it." Virgil assured Patton. 

Janus, who was standing against a tree next to Logan, started moving towards Patton and Roman. "What brought you two out here? Someone needs to be at the camp. You should know that better than anyone, Roman."

"We came to check up on you guys. You can't have all the fun and not invite the life of the party."

"Great thinking. Can you let me know when he gets here?" Virgil smirked mischievously at Roman.

Roman feigned offense with a loud gasp and dramatically placed a hand to his chest in exasperation. "How dare you?"

Virgil shrugged. "We're not doing much out here. Logan and Remus are preparing the duck for roasting while Janus argues with Logan about Haywood and I'm just here because Janus dragged me along."

"I wouldn't say I'm arguing with Janus." Logan spoke up. "I'm just expressing my concerns with Janus' unusual behavior recently. He swore to us we'd never return to Haywood. He's breaking his promise of over five years."

"And I still don't know what happened in Haywood." Added Patton.

"And if you're lucky, you'll never have to." Janus told him.

"And I get to fondle a duck!" Remus chimed in from where he sat in front of the dead bird in question. "See, we can all say things!"

"Remus, I don't ever want to hear those words strung together in a sentence again." Said Roman.

"What, you don't like me fondling my duck?"

Virgil groaned. "I would like to put an end to this duck fondling."

"Yes, Remus, are you done yet?" Logan asked.

Patton felt the awkwardness return as he listened to the others banter away. He knew the five of them have been friends for many years and that he shouldn't expect to fit in so quickly but that still didn't change the fact that he was an outlier to this rag-tag bunch of nomads.

Patton felt an arm wrap around his shoulder. He looked up to find Janus standing by his side. "Come on, let me get you back to the camp." Janus started guiding Patton back the direction he came in while the others were busy bickering over the duck. 

"I'm not used to all this commotion. I've never had friends who I was close enough to joke like that. You guys all seem to get along so well."

"We've known each other since we were babies. Our families ran in close circles with each other. The five of us were practically raised together."

"I can tell."

Patton tried to give Janus a convincing smile but he felt a twinge of sadness. He never had friends he could develop a close bond with. Patton only had his grandma growing up, but even she was very busy with her queenly duties at the time. Then he supposed there was Derrick, but how much of a friend could a guard really be to a prince he was instructed to look after? That's all the more their relationship felt like to Patton.

He felt Janus squeeze his shoulder a little. "I'm sure you'll find the right people in Bryer. Now that you're out of the palace you can find the time to make those connections."

In Bryer. Of course. Patton couldn't wait for the day to arrive where that could be his reality. Friendships and freedom. Where Patton could make his own decisions surrounding his life and he wasn't trapped behind palace walls, protected by the request of king and queen from the world outside. He'd finally be able to understand how these people felt every single day.

They returned to the camp. Janus removed himself from Patton to check on the fire. Patton's shoulders felt cold and empty at the sudden absence of Janus' touch. He folded his arms over his chest, shrinking a little into himself to try and bring some of that warm feeling back but his own body couldn't replace the feeling of Janus'.

Patton consumed himself in his thoughts of the future. New opportunities and the chance for a meaningful friendship excited him. It's a feeling he craved and more of a reason for him to leave behind his kingdom. But - Patton looked over at Janus as he suddenly remembered the empty feeling of not having Janus by his side anymore - now that he had met these travelers Patton was unsure how he felt with them leaving him behind. There was a chance that he'd never get to see them again and that thought didn't sit right with him.

"Hopefully we won't be eating dinner too late." Janus said as he prodded the fire with the iron. "We'll have to get up extra early tomorrow morning which means an early bedtime for us all as well." He tossed the fire iron to his side. "Let's pray that the little second hand shop is still open. Or else we'll have to wait for a tailor and I really don't want to be stuck in Haywood for that long—" Janus looked up from the fire to Patton. He must have recognized the uncertainty on the prince's face. "Is everything alright?"

Patton approached Janus, taking a seat next to where he stood. "Just thinking…"

"About what."

Patton shrugged. "The future."

Janus crouched down next to Patton. "There's more isn't there? What's troubling you?"

Patton sighed. "When your... job is done, will that be it?"

Patton and Janus stared at each other. Patton tried to read Janus' face for any clue but came out with nothing. The other man remained stoic as he looked back at Patton. They sat in silence. One beat. Two beats. Janus opens his mouth to say something—

"Alright, who's ready to get this duck roasting?" the other four interrupted them.

Janus stood up to greet his friends. "Finally. I'm starting to get hungry."

_

Dinner was delicious. Patton was impressed. He watched quietly as the others bantered and bothered one another, although he had to look away from Remus who was being intentionally gross to annoy Virgil sitting next to him because he wasn't in the mood to lose his appetite. 

Eventually the sun had set on the merry laughter and chatter at the campsite. The fire was beginning to die out. Patton watched the flames barely struggle to stay alive. Janus was sitting next to him gazing up at the stars. It was a clear, late summer night and the stars shone brightly overhead. 

"It's starting to get late." Janus grabbed the attention of the others as he continued to watch the sky above. "We should probably retire soon."

Patton stood up and stretched. "Where will I be sleeping?"

The other men looked between each other then to Janus who shifted his gaze to Patton.

"You'll be sleeping with me in my tent." Janus stood up next to Patton. "Come on."

"Goodnight, everyone." Patton waved back at the other men. They replied back with a chorus of "goodnights." 

Janus guided Patton back to the tent. Patton got himself adjusted. He placed his satchel by his feet and looked around the tiny tent. It was small so he knew that sharing it with Janus was going to be cramped.

"I hope it's not too much a bother for—"

"Where else am I going to place you at, hm?" Janus replied as he tried shuffling around some of his stuff. "The other two tents are full and I'm not leaving you outside. It's fine for a couple of nights." 

Patton took off his glasses and placed them in his satchel. "I suppose you're right."

"I've got something I need to do real quick. I'll be back in a couple minutes. Sleep well, your highness."

"M'night." Patton laid down as Janus left the tent. The ground below him was hard but to be in a tent was better than what he endured the last couple nights. The sleep sack he was laying in was far more comfortable than straight dirt. 

He closed his eyes hoping that sleep would come without any issues after his long day only to find himself struggling to keep his eyes closed. Patton laid awake in the tent. He could hear the murmured voices of the others but he couldn't make out any words. The tones of voice lost any hint of joy and sounded more serious, so Patton assumed whatever they were talking about must've been important and what Janus was out there for.

Still, that wasn't going to help Patton sleep. He remembered the music box in his satchel. Patton pulled it out, opened it up, and began winding it up to listen to it's sweet melody. The soft lullaby was always certain to bring him comfort as he thought about his grandma. The music assisted him on many sleepless nights in the past after he lost his grandma so he was hoping it would help him now.

"Put that away." Before Patton had the opportunity to realize Janus had returned to the tent he heard the hushed but stern request come from the nomad.

"But I need it to sleep." 

"Are you crazy? If you're trying not to get caught, a music box is not going to help your case." Janus slammed the lid shut. "Put it away."

Patton held back his emotions as the music ceased. He placed it back in his bag and threw himself to the ground. 

Janus laid down next to him. "Keep that in your bag until we get to Bryer. We don't want to risk anything."

Perhaps Janus was right but he could've been nicer about it. Patton knew that. "You didn't have to slam it. Please, I don't want it broken."

"Then you shouldn't have brought it in the first place. Now goodnight." Janus turned his body to the side facing away from Patton. Patton did the same, trying his hardest to blink away tears. No, he wasn't going to cry over a music box. Not this time.

He tried to think of something else to push away any negative thoughts. Patton stared blankly at the tent wall. He was grateful to be right in the outskirts of his kingdom, that was some amazing feat for him. He was aided by a group of travellers who were generally nice to him when Janus wasn't snapping at him over little things. Patton was very grateful for the help. That he couldn't express enough.

"Thank you, again for all of this." 

"I'm sleeping."

"It really means a lot that you were willing to help me. You have no idea."

"..."

"You might've saved my butt back there. I would still be trapped in Mayrilius, potentially even found out and returned to the palace right now if it wasn't for you."

Still no reply. Patton turned onto his back, laying his arms over his stomach as he looked up above him to the tent ceiling. Janus was a weird one and something about him still bothered Patton a little bit. He couldn't let it go and he was hoping this one time that Janus wouldn't either.

"Janus?"

"Hrmm...?" Janus groaned as he smothered his face to the floor.

"I have a question."

"And I'm trying to sleep."

"Why were you hesitant to give me your name earlier? If you knew it wasn't going to be a secret then why keep it from me?"

There was another beat of silence and Patton began to worry he wasn't going to get a response. That would seem to be typical behavior of Janus.

"There is no reason." Janus finally said.

"But if there was no reason why bother doing it?"

"Why bother with all of these questions? Look, I can't answer all your questions. It's not important. Now, goodnight!"

"But it must be."

Janus sat up and glared at Patton. "You really wanna know?" Patton looked over at Janus and nodded nervously. "I was scared about what you would think of my name."

Patton giggled feeling the mood lighten up a little. "Why would that be scary? Are you embarrassed by your name?" Janus laid back down and Patton knew he wasn't going to get more of an answer, but he assumed he was correct. What a shame too. He hoped he hadn't come off as rude for laughing. "Well if it's any consolation I think the name Janus is really nice." Patton said honestly. "Now that I'm thinking about it, the name reminds me of something familiar. I can't put my finger on it, though."

"Pray that we don't ever find out. Now can we please get some sleep?"

"Sorry. I just had to ask. Goodnight, Janus."

Patton's mind wasn't completely at ease, but talking to Janus one last time was just enough to help him finally fall asleep.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Love On-Set (Pt. 10 of 10)

Pairing: Dacre Montgomery X Reader

Word count: 1.2 K

Summary: You knew acting on Stranger Things season 3 would be a challenge, and you also knew, from the start, you'd have to work closely with Dacre Montgomery. But is wasn't a big deal for you, since this is your job and you're determined to act professionally. You had it all figured out, or so you thought, until the moment you were out face to face with Dacre. Then, this job became a lot harder than it was supposed to be, since you can't seem to focus whenever you're around Dacre. And you'll have to be around him a lot until the end of production.

<- Previous part (09)

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

×

What Comes Next...

The last three months have been hectic, in between shooting the last scenes of season three, the premiere, and the interviews that always follow. The Internet is going insane because not only Billy, one of the villains from season 2 changed and got a love interest, but you and Dacre, outside of the cameras, are together. The fans absolutely love it. But after the events and all the talk shows and YouTube channels wanting you both for a meeting, you had to call it out eventually and head back home.

It's not that you don't like it, the attention and the fans all rooting for your relationship, but you also like the private life, the one you get to share with Dacre alone, as well as your friends and families. But not everything is broadcasted. This moment is an example of that.

Seated on the sand, you watch the sun rising, casting its light on LA, lighting up the blue sky, mixed with the ocean ahead of you. Both your cellphones were left at your place, and the beach is empty. This moment belongs to you alone. Well, to you and the paparazzi that took a few pictures of you some minutes ago, but he's gone now.

“What are your plans after season four?” Dacre asks, his deep, strong voice being carried by the fresh morning wind.

Billy and Amy survived, unlike Hopper and Heather. It was a pleasant surprise you only found the day before shooting the last scenes of the Battle of Starcourt. And of course, you're already down for the next season, and everything you know so far is that Billy and Amy left with the Byers, and are now in an established relationship. The rest will only come when you get the script, which will take several months. “Uhm... Season five if the characters make it that far.”

“Uhm... And after that?”

Giving Dacre a glance, you wonder where he's going with this. Season four is only due to next year, and the production won't start in at least five or six months. “I don't know. Some studios are calling me but I'm not interested in the roles they have. What about you?”

“I'm thinking of holding to Stranger Things only.” He shrugs his shoulders, leaning closer to place a quick kiss on your lips. “Then I want to make a pause. Settle down, focus on my personal life.”

“Sounds good.” Raising an eyebrow, you can't help but ask. “And am I on this personal life thing?”

“Only if you want to.”

Blushing, you bite your lip. “Only if I want to.” You repeat, the wind suddenly stronger, messing with your hair. “I think I do, Mr. Montgomery.”

“There's something else I've been meaning to ask you.” His voice gets serious, and he pulls away so he can stare into your eyes.

“What is it?”

“I was thinking about going to Australia.” Dacre starts, holding your hand in his. “My family still lives there and I want to formally introduce you to them, not only through video calls. And there's a lot of places I'd love to show you.”

Oh... That's something. “I'd absolutely love to go, Dacre. Just tell me when and for how long.”

“That's the thing...”

“What's the thing?”

“I was thinking about staying there... Until the shooting for the next season starts.” There's insecurity in his voice and you know why. Dacre was only renting this house in LA because of the show, but his home is in Australia. “But honestly, going back there, and staying literally half a world apart from you is too much.”

“Yeah, I'd hate it too...” Holding your hair so it'll stay away from your face, you look at the ocean. “But this is... Something. I mean, I could rent a place near yours and–”

“We literally shared the hotel room, and now I either spend the days here or you stay at my place, so I guess that would go on for a few weeks until you decide to just stay with me.” Dacre has this cocky tone and a smirk, so you playfully punch his arm.

“Oh, don't tease me!” A small fight, filled with giggles start, as you try to slap him. But Dacre easily holds your arms, and suddenly, he pushes you down until you're lying down on the sand with him hovering above you. “I'll go with you.” You burst out because the possibility of not going didn't even cross your mind. “But only if you give me that amazing massage in the back after the flight because I know it takes like 48 hours to get there.”

“If we're lucky we can find a 24 hours flight.” When the wind pushes some hair over your face, Dacre moves it away before leaning down to kiss you, slow and passionate. “But yes, I'll give you all the massages you want when we get there.”

“You should really be more careful with the things you promise, sweetheart.” You tease, pushing him off of you. “So. When do we leave?”

“What about next week? Enough time to buy the tickets, pack everything, and to enjoy LA a little longer.”

“Speaking about enjoying LA...” Smiling, you stand up, taking off your shoes. “I'll go for a swim.”

“Babe... You can't swim.” Dacre keeps the half-smile as you walk backwards, eyes on him as you move closer to the water.

“Yes. I really wish I had a strong boyfriend to help me out but apparently–” You stop talking when he stands up, walking fast until he reaches you, and in a swift motion, he lifts you up, parting your legs so they'll be around his waist.

“You were saying..?”

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you giggle when the waves start hitting your back, soaking your clothes. “I was saying I do have a strong boyfriend.”

“Interesting how you change your mind so quickly.” You feel when his feet stop reaching the bottom, and the two of you just stand there, floating, and despite knowing you could die here, you feel safe with Dacre.

“It's gonna be amazing, you know... Australia. The two of us.” You mumble, a hand caressing his cheek. “I am quite scared of the wild animals they have there, but I know you'll protect me.”

“I sure will. I did save you from a freaking Mind Flayer, didn't I?”

Giggling, you nod. “That you did.”

With the calming waves surrounding you, you kiss him, deep and sweet. It tastes salty from the water, but soon enough the taste of his lips overcome everything. And it also tastes like promises, spoken and unspoken. And you know that wherever you are, here or on the other side of the world, you will be fine, and happy, and safe. With Dacre, you don't have to be afraid of what you feel anymore, you can just let it out. You can trust him with your whole heart.

×

@baker151910 @shinydixon @dreamin-of-dacre @hanoi15 @lickmymelaninn @foccus @multific @uncookspaget @kellysimagines @peakascum @thisbreakableheaven @nope-thanks

[xxkellsvixen19xx]

Spotlight: A Life Of A Troubled Celebrity Heartthrob Ch 9

Spotlight: A Life Of A Troubled Celebrity Heartthrob Chapter 9

Word Count: 3,432

We're going to skip the formalities Ashleigh," Colson strolled into the study and pushed Ashleigh's chair back, "Why did you you do it??"

"Colson I-" Ashleigh looked at him, frightened, "Slim said if I didn't do it then-it would have been me instead," she hung her head in shame.

"Hmm.." Colson held his chin and pretended to be in deep thought, "so you gave up Y/N instead..makes sense I guess," he shrugged.

"What?!" her head snapped up.

"Slim is a crackhead and is blazed half the time..what's your excuse for taking part in this Ashleigh," his eyes were fire and ice all at once.

"He threatened me-" she cried out.

"But you made conscious decision to help him f*ck my wife didn't you?!" Colson shot back, "you even spiked her drink with a double dose of the drug!" He shouted, "why did you do that? Huh?!"

"I was scared!" she said as the tears pooled her eyes,

"Ahhh..I see.." Colson stood up, " are you scared Ash?" Colson got up stared directly into her eyes.

"Y-e-ss.." she gulped and looked at the bodyguards that towered behind Colson.

"Good," Colson said with satisfaction, "it's good that you're afraid," he paced around her chair, "At least I've got the decency to plan this thing in front of you; and not behind your back like what you did to someone that considered you a friend," he stopped in front of her, "Now I'm going to get one of these guys to lock you in a tiny bathroom and have his way with you? How about that? Sound familiar?"

"Don't! Please! I'll do anything!" she fell at Colson's feet and grovelled.

"Guys can I have a volunteer to take this lovely lady into the restroom and do what ever you feel like with her? Actually I want you to go as far as Slim did with my wife..or further maybe? Rog? Andre? You're game?" Colson asked.

"Let me at her Col. I think I will do a good job than Rog over here," Andre motioned with his head.

"No, no, no. Please allow me Col? I will do a better job than Slim," Rog said smugly.

"Okay Rog you're our guy!" Colson patted Rog on the back, "don't worry Ashleigh I'll just turn a blind eye like you did and I hope, for your sake, there's someone that cares enough to come and knock the door down-like I did," Colson stepped away from her, "Hey don't forget to rough her up and spike her drink before-just like Slim did to my wife."

"Waaiiitt! Don't leave me! I'm sorry! Please! Slim made me do it-he-he threatened me," Ashleigh wailed.

"Why didn't you come to me?! You had a choice and you did the wrong thing Ashleigh! That makes you as bad as Slim!" Colson yelled at her, his blue eyes blazing. "By the way-enjoy your stay in prison," he informed her before he left the room.

"Take her away Rog and don't come out until she passes out just like Y/N," Jax looked down at her with disgust.

"Jax! Please don't do this!" she pleaded but Jax was having none of it.

"You saw it fit to do it to Y/N so why should I feel sorry for you? Take her away," Jax said.

"Noooo! Please!" Ashleigh screamed as Rog threw her over his shoulder; to carry out orders.

"How far do you want to take this Colson?" Jax asked as they walked to the car.

"As far as Slim took liberties on my wife," Colson replied tersely, "I want her to experience everything that Y/N went through. She should have a play by play version and we'll see how she feels being in the same shoes."

"So they're not going to actually...?" Jax raised his eyebrow.

"No! I gave them strict instructions not to take it that far," he reiterated.

"Okay," Jax opened the door for Colson and he jumped in.

"Please take me to the hospital? I need to check on Y/N before I lose my mind," Colson sighed heavily, "the doctor has assured me that he didn't..get very far."

"What a relief!" Jax sagged on the driver's seat.

"If he had-I was going to kill him with my bare hands," Colson clenched his fist.

"Not if I got to him first-with a bullet straight through his head," Jax said with conviction.

"I think we need to leave this place. Just me and Y/N," Colson said, "please make the arrangements?"

"Where are we going to this time?" Jax questioned, knowing he was part of the plan.

"Jamaica," Colson replied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Good morning baby," Colson sat on the hospital bed and held Y/N's hand. Her eyes fluttered open and she groaned.

"You told him," she snatched her hand out of his grasp and turned aside.

"What?!" Colson asked, confused.

"I told you something in confidence," she cleared her throat, "and you told Slim so he could use it against me," she sniffled.

"Sweets.." Colson jumped onto the bed and lay in front of her, "look at me? Please?" he held her face tenderly.

"I honestly have no idea what you're going on about" his blonde hair flopped over his eyes and he tossed it back, "can you at least fill in the blanks so that we can be on the same page?" he stared at her intently.

"He knew," she whispered, "he knew about Bobby," she dropped her gaze.

"Who's Bobby baby?" Colson asked gently.

"My ex," she gulped as she twisted her hands nervously.

"I didn't tell him anything about it sweets. I swear. Maybe he overheard me talking to Jax the other day..I wanted him to help find him so you wouldn't have to worry about him coming back-I didn't want it hanging over your head," Colson explained "plus you never really told me his name.."

"Oh," her eyes focused on chest.

"You like my t-shirt?" Colson joked.

"I've always found plain white t-shirts fascinating," she rolled her eyes.

"This isn't just any white t-shirt babe-it's an original Levi," Colson held out the hem of the t-shirt and grinned.

"I'm sorry for spoiling your night," Y/N apologized.

"Hey..don't do that," Colson held her chin up and gazed into her e/c orbs, "I should be the one apologizing actually. I was supposed to protect you but-"

"Can we not talk about this?" she frowned and looked away.

"Sure," there was an awkward silence. "I'll go and check with the doctor if he's done with your discharge papers," Colson hopped of the bed and left the room.

Y/N looked up the ceiling and sighed heavily. How did she end up in this situation for a second time? If Colson hadn't kicked down the door when he did then-she didn't even want to think about it. She would rather keep it buried in her emotional archives.

"Good morning!" Jax stood at the door with his hands in his pockets, "is there room for one more?" he smiled.

"Jax!" Y/N gave him a genuine smile, "come in!" Jax got to her in two strides and engulfed her in a bear hug.

"You okay kid?" he leaned back and examined her.

"Yeah," she grinned.

"Good. The doctor has given you the green light, you can go home" he nodded with satisfaction, "did your husband tell you that we're going on honeymoon?"

"No Jax," Colson cut in, "but you might as well tell her."

"Tell me what?" Y/N asked.

"We're going to the Caribbean baby," Jax smiled.

"What?! Really babe??" Y/N gushed and Colson nodded with a smile.

"Let's get out of here I need to pack."

***********************************

It was a beautiful day; the birds were singing, the sun was shining and all was alright in the world. For now at least.

Colson woke up early and went to take his usual swim. The beach was deserted as he walked towards the water, in his shorts and his towel slung over his shoulder. He loved to take an early morning swim as part of his workout routine because it helped him to think; and he had a lot of thinking to do this morning.

At the end of this week they were going back to reality and he wasn't sure if he was ready for that. The press that constantly stalked him and pried into his private life unashamedly, his fake friends, the pressure of staying at the top and last but not least his dear mother in law. Mrs Y/M/F/N L/N had called him, breathing fire and threatening to castrate him as soon as his jet touched the ground of Cleveland. He would definitely chose dealing with the press over that any day.

While he understood that she had genuine concerns, Y/N was a grown woman and the only thing that mattered to him. The way he felt about her frightened him. After Dani he had promised to never fall in love again. Love was complicated, it was too intense and it made you vulnerable; but worst of all you could risk getting your heart broken. He had loved Dani more than was humanely possible-he could have done anything for her and he did, but after she slept with his best friend she did irreparable damage to his heart. He couldn't risk it again-and yet he found himself totally consumed by Y/N Y/L/N.

Her eyes captivated him and sent his heart spiraling to the ends of the unknown. When she laughed or smiled at him he felt like he could take on the world. Making love to her was an indescribable feeling..he couldn't put it into words even if he tried. She was always on his mind and he just wanted to be with her all the time. He was selfish when it came to her-he didn't want anyone else around when they were together; he wanted all her attention; all of her.

Colson swam back to the shore, his body was exhausted. He bent over and held onto his knees, trying to catch his breath.

"Smile," Y/N said and as he looked up startled she took a pic with her iPhone.

"Hey sweets," his face broke into a smile and his heart skipped a beat.

"I could wake up to this every morning..some girls have all the luck," she sighed and took a few more pics of Colson in his swimming trunks, water dripping from his gorgeous body.

"You know what Bambi..I think you need to be in the pic as well-"Colson lunged at her and grabbed her, making her wet. She was dressed in a short floral caftan dress which did nothing to protect her.

"Baker!" she squealed, "you're making me wet!"

"Just what I love to hear sweets," he crushed her against his solid chest and their lips merged, melting into each other. He wove his fingers into her silky soft hair and she in turn slid her fingers into his wet hair.

Jax stood behind them clearing his throat and got their attention.

"Just on time Jax-please take a video and post it on Instagram asap okay?" Colson handed the phone to him.

"A video??," Y/N asked. Before she got a response Colson swooped her off her feet and threw over his shoulder. He ran back into the water amidst Y/N's screams and protests.

She landed in the water with a splash and Colson laughed at her as she spluttered in the water.

"Baker you are dead!!" she jumped onto his back and they both keeled over back into the water. Y/N tried to escape but he caught her foot and dragged her back in. They continued a full out make out session and would have taken it further if Jax hadn't reminded them that they were in a public area.

"That's enough you two!" Jax yelled, "breakfast is served, let's go."

"Let's get changed first. Come one," Colson put his arm around her shoulder as they walked back to the villa. They had a quick shower and dressed up before going for breakfast.

"Can't we go out somewhere for breakfast?" Y/N suggested, "We're in the Caribbean so we might as well take advantage of it."

"As mi 'lady wishes," Colson bowed.

"Baker!" Y/N swatted his arm.

"But I went all out and made breakfast for you two?" Jax grumbled.

"Sorry Jax. Guess we will have to stay and eat," Y/N said.

"Killjoy," Colson muttered under his breath.

"Don't worry babe, we can explore after breakfast," Y/N squeezed his arm.

"Ooh, I like the sound of that.." Colson murmured and leaned in to kiss her.

"Can we eat now?" Jax complained.

"I would rather eat what I'm looking at right now.." Colson continued to suck on Y/N's lips and she giggled.

"Gosh! I think I'm going to throw up," Jax rolled his eyes, "I'm going to eat at my villa. I'll leave you kids to it." He threw his napkin on the table and stood up.

"Hey Jax," Colson said, "You're officially off duty. We'll call you when we need you."

"Thank you!" Jax said with a sigh of relief, "at least I won't have to witness you two sucking face any longer."

"Makes two of us," Colson replied. They laughed as they watched him leave.

"You're not a nice person Baker," Y/N said as she nibbled on a piece of bacon.

"I know but I'm still yours," he tucked a lose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Are you really?" she asked with uncertainty.

"Sweets-let's not do this? Please?" he raked his hair.

"So nothing has changed," she nodded and her gaze as she twisted her fingers nervously.

"I'm going for a walk!" Colson pushed back his chair and it screeched as he stood up.

"Fine!" Y/N shouted at his retreating back.

Y/N thought that things had changed. That somehow his feelings had changed and he was finally ready to admit that he loved her, that this was more than a casual fling, that they had passed the stage of testing the waters. She had hoped they had established their relationship on a solid foundation but his outburst had proved that they were still on ground zero.

Two steps forward. Two steps back.

**********************************

Y/N spent the day watching Netflix in the guest room at the villa. She had ordered room service because she didn't feel like cooking. She didn't feel like doing anything but wallowing in self-pity. Colson hadn't shown up for lunch or dinner and Y/N went into further depression. There was a fully stocked bar so she decided to take full advantage of it and drowned her sorrows.

She heard loud music coming from outside so she got dressed in her best outfit and headed out. There was no way she was going to sit at home while Colson was probably out there having a good time. She stumbled into a local club that seemed to be happening tonight and made a beeline to the bar.

"Can I have a cosmo?" she asked the barman and he nodded. She sipped on it slowly and watched the revelers grinding on each other; having a good time.

"Care to dance?" Colson came from behind and whispered in her ear.

"Get lost Baker," she retorted without swinging around.

"Look sweets, I'm sorry for walking out on you," he turned her around and he took her hands, "I shouldn't have done that-please forgive me?" he pouted.

"We can't make progress if that's what you going to do every time we have a fight," she said, "where have you been all day anyway?"

"I went scuba diving and surfing with Jax," he replied. "Can we just be Colson and Y/N tonight? For the rest of the week maybe?" he caressed her cheek with the back of his hand, "No fighting, no arguing-no nothing-good vibes only. Just me and you enjoying each other's company? Can we do that baby?" he implored.

"Okay Baker. I'm sold," Y/N rolled her eyes and picked up her drink.

"I know we need to do grown up talk soon but can it be when we get back home?" he asked, "for now I just want to enjoy my honeymoon with my beautiful and sexy wife," he took her drink and gulped half of it down.

"Hey! Get your own," she slapped his arm. He ordered another round for them and then a couple of more. She was feeling light headed and her face was tingling. The alcohol had clearly kicked in and she could feel it.

"Let's go dance!" Colson pulled her to the dance floor.

"I don't even know how to dance to this music!" she shouted into his ear. She looked around her and all she could see was people gyrating on each other. If they didn't have any clothes on it would have been x-rated.

"There's nothing to it sweets. Just follow my lead," Colson started grinding against her and she followed suit.

They got lost in the moment as their bodies intertwined as they moved to the rhythm of the music. He turned her around and fitted her back into the contour of his body, his hands slowly gliding down her thighs. She weaved her hands in his hair and pressed her backside into him and he groaned into her ear.

"You're killing me Bambi," his lust filled voice whispered into her ear, sending chills down her spine. He gripped her hips tightly and sucked her earlobe and she gasped.

"I learnt from the best," she said breathlessly, as she continued to grind against him.

"Bathroom-now!" he growled.

"What?!" her eyeballs almost popped out. This was so hot but she had to be the voice of reason here. He grabbed her hand and led her to the ladies restrooms, "Colson-you can't be serious?!

"This is Jamaica sweets. We can't come here and not have hot, spontaneous sex in the bathroom," he slammed the door shut and made sure it was locked.

"What if we get caught?" she asked breathlessly, as he planted hot kisses on her neck.

"Too bad-they will just have to hear you screaming my name," he said in a husky voice, before he pushed her against the door and took her right there and then.

Welcome to Jamaica.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the night was a blur and just when Y/N thought she was ready to head home, Colson told her the night was only beginning.

"We've been invited to an after party at Sean Paul's and I have been trying forever to get a collabo with him. This is my chance," Colson said as they jumped into the limo.

"Can you maybe drop me off at home? I'm totally wasted," Y/N groaned and leaned back on the leather seat.

"Not a chance sweets," Colson leaned in and kissed her until she was breathless, "better?" he asked with a smile.

"Hmmm," was all Y/N could day.

"We won't stay long. Promise," he assured her but they both knew it was a lie.

Colson kept her entertained throughout the night and never left her side. They danced, talked, drank and danced some more. Finally she couldn't stand on her feet any more so they went to sit down again. The people at their table were smoking a joint an passing it around and Colson pulled on it a couple of times before passing it to Y/N.

"No way!" she pushed his hand away.

"Don't tell me you've never smoked weed sweets?" he looked genuinely shocked.

"Never..not interested," she slurred, "I don't smoke."

"This is different. Besides-we're in Jamaica sweets. You can't be here and not experience this," he looked at the joint like it was gold, "come on just try it. Just one drag," he coaxed and his new found friends cheered her on.

"Okay, okay" she relented. Against her better judgement she took it and smoked it until she choked on the smoke.

"Yeah!" everyone cheered for her.

"Well done Bambi," Colson chuckled and rubbed her back.

To this day Y/N couldn't remember how she got home that night.

Colson teased her about it the next day. Apparently she danced on the table and almost did a strip show but he had stopped her just in time. He even got a lap dance.

"You're a bad influence Baker," she groaned and went back to sleep.

[mishkatelwarriorgoddess]

Calming Force

A/N: Just a little something swimming in my head as I get ready to meet my students in the morning.

'Ugh!' you huffed as you slipped out of bed. Looking at the clock, it was only 2 am; meaning that you had 3 more hours before you were scheduled to get up.

As you opened the door, you were greeted by Alpine rubbing between your legs. You just looked down to make sure you weren't stepping on her while you walked to the kitchen.

Starting the coffee maker and getting out all the fixings for your morning "coffee" as your other half put it, had you chucking to yourself. Once everything was ready and waiting, you sat down in the living room and turned on the lamp by the couch so you could read. Alpine decided that this was the perfect to jump up and demand your undivided attention, which you were happy to give to her.

"What is it that you want girl? Huh?" you asked as you pet her. She preened and rubbed up against your nose and cheek. "Give me a few minutes while I make my morning coffee, no matter what he says." you say as you ruffle her fur.

She looks at you longingly as you walk back into the kitchen and begin your morning ritual, albeit much earlier than normal.

Thinking you heard something, you look down the hall toward your room. Not hearing anything and not seeing your hulk of a husband in the hallway, you go back to making your coffee. You open the ice box to get the ice out, and when you close it you almost drop all the cubes you have in your hand.

"Jamie!" you whisper yell with a hand on your heart to keep it from getting away from you.

"Didn't mean to scare you doll, but got worried when you weren't in bed. Can't sleep I take it?"

"You know how I get the day before the kids report to school. I just wish it was different since this year marks 26 years. "

He walks over to you and put his hands around your waist to draw you closer. He brings his forehead down to touch yours, and sighs.

"You should have woken me up and we could have snuggled or something." he says as he wiggles his eyebrows at you.

You giggle lightly, and trail your hands over his arms; one warm and one cold, but both more than gentle with you unless you asked him not to be.

"Buck, you haven't been sleeping well lately so I figured I'd let at least one of us get some sleep. I didn't mean to make you worry babe." Standing on your tip toes you kiss the tip of his nose.

"Why don't you put your 'coffee' in the fridge and we can cuddle on the couch?"

"MEOW!" was all the two of you heard as Alpine decided she needed some attention too.

"Well, I guess we've been given our orders," you giggled. "You get settled on the couch and I'll clean up here."

He went to the couch and calmed Alpine down while you cleaned up and put your coffee in the fridge. By the time you got to the couch, both of them were asleep.

You giggle and put a blanket over them both and gave each of them a kiss before you snuggle onto the other end of the couch and dozed before you had to wake up and meet your students for another school year.

This is for all the teachers, students, and everyone who either is just starting their school year or has been back for a little bit. May the odds be forever in your favor!

[medicallyinevitable]

Medically Inevitable

Chapter 15:- Hopeful Happenings

Characters:- Arielle Valentine, Ethan Ramsey, Ines Delarosa, Kyra Santana

Pairing:- Ethan Ramsey x Arielle Valentine

Warnings:- Slight mentions of cancer

Word Count:- 1700+ words :)

General PoV:-

As the sun shines bright in the late morning, Arielle parks her car and heads straight towards Edenbrook’s locker room, a to-go cup in hand from Starbucks instead of Derry Roasters not wanting any chance to bump into Dr. Ramsey, despite knowing that he’s her boss. Making her way to the nurses’ station, she picks up her charts and textbooks and heads toward the cafeteria.

Arielle’s PoV:-

You keep at your textbooks, scouring the pages for anything that could explain Nigel's symptoms, and the tidal wave of self-doubt doesn’t help either. You let out a sigh, "Maybe Dr. Ramsey's right. Maybe I really don't belong here..."

"Mind if I join you?" A cheery voice snaps you back to reality.

You turn around to find Kyra. Dread fills in you as you see her. "Kyra, what are you doing here? Is your cancer back? Is something wrong?", you start asking.

"Woah! Dial down the doom and gloom there, Dr. Sob Emoji. I'm in remission." Kyra beams.

"What?! Oh my god congratulations! I’m so happy for you!" You envelope her in a warm hug which almost melts all your tension away.

"Just had another check-up. Will be coming a lot for those," she catches you up with her remission plan as you two sit. "No offense but I definitely look in better shape than you!"

"Ugh I know. I'm exhausted.” And just like that, all the tension fills your mind as you give her the details. " My shift ended like five hours ago, but instead of going home I am sitting here and reading till my eyes bleed."

"You should probably get that looked at." Kyra's face morphs into something serious but genuine as she continues.

"Look, I don't want to be that cancer survivor… but it did make me realize that life is too short." You give her a sad smile knowing how painful it must have been for her.

"We only get so many chances you know? But maybe you need that lesson more than I do," she continues after pausing for a moment.

"Is it that obvious?" You raise your brows.

"Let's chalk it up to my incredible intuition." Kyra smiles," Anyways there's an amazing ice cream shop nearby. They make an triple chocolate gelato that's literally to die for," she jokes, " You can take my word for that." "Why don't we visit that place? It'll give you a distraction and a much needed break."

You look at her and then your textbooks, not understanding what to do. All you can see is blurry lines. the words and concepts swim around in your very exhausted brain. You close the textbook with a slam after your answer is crystal clear.

"How can I say no to chocolate gelato!", you say dramatically.

"That's more like it!", Kyra beams. The two of you collect your belongings and make your way out as you tell Kyra everything about the dilemma with your latest patient.

"This place is pretty cute.", you say as you look around.

"Try nauseatingly adorable. I want to make it tiny and keep it in my bookshelf," Kyra replies. You laugh.

"You collect tiny shops?" You ask as the two of you made your way to the counter.

"I collect many sickeningly adorable things," she laughs before turning her attention to the boy behind the counter. "I’ll have the large Death by Chocolate please. And my absurdly attractive friend here will have…”, she nods for you to continue.

You roll your eyes at her before placing your order. You take a look at their menu before deciding to have the same one as Kyra as it's the most chocolatey one.

“I'll have the same.", you smile at the server.

The server scoops your gelato into two big cups and slides them across the counter while Kyra rummages through her bag for her wallet.

"I'll pay.“, you say getting your card out.

"No way!", she stops you by swiftly taking your card from you. You whine but to your dismay she doesn’t budge.

"This was my idea. Besides I didn't get out much during recovery. I've got months of dining-out budget to blow."

The next minute she's handing the cash to the server and then guiding you to a booth. As you two take your seats, Kyra hands you your card.

She takes a spoon full of her Death by Chocolate and sighs blissfully.

“Mmmmmm…”

You smile at her antics. "That good?" You ask before taking a bite.

"Orgasmic. I never used to eat junk food before my diagnosis."

She takes another bite and you take your first. You can't help but let out a moan as the chocolatey silkiness melts on your tongue. Kyra smirks and gives you a smug look.

She then continues, "I was super into exercising and calorie counting. I never did anything I wasn't supposed to." She smiles sadly. "And I still got lung cancer. At my twenties!"

"You must have been so strong!", you reply.

"Everyone keeps saying that but-", she pauses, "I don't know. I just went to the doctor to see why I was breathing weird."

She sighs. "Then suddenly I was going for all these tests, and then I had cancer."

She laughs humorlessly. "Life went from jogging and juice every morning to chemo and puking."

You can almost feel the pain as she speaks about her experiences even when you’re aware you’ll never truly understand.

"But I didn't do anything," she says, " Those things had to happen , and I had good insurance, so I did them. And it's not like I had any alternative."

"I think you should give yourself more credit.”, you reach for her hand and squeeze it in a comforting manner.

"You faced death with a smile on your face. I'll always remember you cracking jokes on the way to surgery-", you stop for a second before adding,"You are the strongest person I know Kyra."

Kyra blushes, a little embarrassed. "Well you can laugh or you can cry and I chose to laugh.”, she shrugs with a smile on her face.

"And like I said, I don't want to be that cancer survivor but it does put certain things into perspective."

"That kind of clarity must be nice.", you reply.

"Well yeah, you have to get some kind of consolation price for nearly dying, right?" She then shakes her head.

”But enough about that. If we keep talking about this you'll always see me as a girl who beat cancer."

"I'll never, Kyra." you say truthfully. "That's not how I see you."

"Oh yeah? And how do you exactly see me?" She asks playfully.

"I think you are inspiring."

A blush creeps on her face as she’s caught off guard, but quickly retaliates with a sassy reply. “If you keep giving me compliments then I’ll never let you hear the end of it.”

“We’ll see about that.” You both dissolve into fits of laughter as Kyra fills you up on the hospital gossip...

“What wait?! Seriously?! I can’t believe it!”

“Me either, but you know how gossip is!”, she replies with a shrug.

Just then your phone chimes. You pull it out to see it’s a reminder for your shift.

“Crap, I have 10 minutes till my shift.”

“Oof, you better hurry!”, she replies.

“We should do this again, this was really nice.”, you say as you gather your things.

“We should! Besides there would have to be 12 different things wrong with someone to turn down Gelato!”, she jokes.

“..12 different things wrong….. oh my god, Kyra, you’re a genius!”

You scramble to your feet and quickly throw away your cup.

“I like to think I am but what did I do?”, she asks.

“I’ll explain later!”, you yell.

“Ookay…” You rush back to the hospital, typing out a message on your pager as Kyra sits there in utter confusion.

“Well I guess I could get another scoop of gelato…”

————————————————————

An hour later, you take a deep breath before entering Nigel's room to find Ethan and Ines already inside.

“Well what are you waiting for?”, Dr. Ramsey says. Pushing back all of your invading memories of him, you continue with your explanation.

"I spent the last two days trying to figure out the one thing causing all of Mr.Platt's symptoms.”, you say as you stand beside Nigel's bedside.

"And?", he asks. For a split second, you can see a slight look of hope in his eyes, but it passes as quickly as it came, leaving you to believe it was a mere delusion of yours.

"That's when I realized nothing was causing all of them-" But before you can continue, you’re interrupted by Nigel.

"Are you calling-", he burps, “me a liar?", he asks, rude as always.

You control the urge to roll your eyes. He could've at least let you finish your sentence.

Ignoring him, you continue what you were saying," Mr.Platt has been experiencing tingling and hair loss but also cold sensitivity and some hearing problems." You pause for a second before continuing,"All of which point to hypothyroidism caused by Hashimoto's disease easily treated with levothyroxine."

"Go on." Ethan orders in his usual cold bossy tone.

"I couldn't fit in the constant burping and the chest pain… because it was completely separate." You explain. "I ordered a barium swallow X-ray and detected a hiatal hernia in the esophageal hole through the diaphragm."

"The treatment?", he asks, motioning you to continue.

"I have already booked a laparoscopic surgery to repair it.”, you answer with a touch of pride.

"Good work Dr.Valentine." Ines smiles at you.” You return it with a nod and a tentative smile.

"So ... I'll be cured?" Nigel asks.

"Yes-“, you calm yourself down before you rip him apart and then continue.

"You'll be good as new." you say instead with a forced smile.

"Good... because I don't want to spend a -" he burps, " second more in your hopeless company."

Your blood boils at this point as you bite your lip to control yourself. “The audacity! Ugh, he's a patient, Arielle. You have to be nice to him.”

"Mr. Platt, might suggest viewing this as a new lease on life. Perhaps a life where you don't make everyone around you miserable.”, Ethan's stern voice retorts, shocking you and Ines.

“No way...he did not!”

"Dr. Ramsey!" Ines exclaims with a shocked expression on her face, which you’re quite sure your face resembles.

"I'll report you! I want to talk to your manager," he says more angrily than before.

"Go ahead," Ethan says with a sarcastic smile." Maybe she can't talk to you like this but I sure as hell can."

You look at Nigel who looks like he's about to say something but just then Bryce struts in. He winks at you playfully as he passes you.

"Someone called for a laparoscopic surgery?"

"Oh great, first Barbie and now the damn Ken doll!” You don’t even attempt to hide the disgust on your face as you roll your eyes.

By the time you’ve finished your consultation with Bryce, Ines and Ethan have already left the room. Pleased with yourself, you take a left in the hallway without noticing Ethan standing leaning against the wall.

"Rookie..." His velvety baritone voice calls out, pulling you out of a haze.

Wincing, you stop dead in your tracks as the memories of the previous day replay in your mind. Still embarrassed with your encounter, you turn around but never meet his eyes. You’re sure you look like a kid, standing before him with your feet crossed, one hand fiddling with your hair as you bite your lip.

"So, you figured it out in the end. And you kept things professional.”, he nods, barely visible.

"I guess I just needed a… push.”, you reply in a timid voice laced with embarrassment.

"Maybe you aren’t so hopeless then.", he says.

Unlike yesterday, his voice isn’t filled with disappointment and malice.

So mustering up some courage, you look up to meet his eyes. Relief washes over you as you don’t detect a hint of disappointment in his eyes. He isn’t smiling but something in you tells you he isn’t angry. You don’t realise you’ve been staring into his oh-so blue eyes until his pager beeps, shaking you out of your reverie.

“..Uh- I’ll see you around, Dr. Ramsey.” You can almost swear that you see longing etched into his chiseled features as you lose yourself in his eyes once more.

“Likewise, Valentine.” With that, he turns around and stalks away.

You sigh and lean against the wall, the events since you started your residency swirl around like a hurricane filled with memories.

“What the hell am I supposed to do now?”

******************************************

And this concludes Season 1 of Medically Inevitable!

Authors’ Note:- Hey everyone, hope y’all enjoyed this chapter! As you’ve probably seen before, this is the last chapter of Season 1! Season 2 will be out soon, as soon as we work out the kinks and pump out a few chapters with different moodboards and title themes! Season 2 will be much more eventful, more drama, angst and shocking cliffhangers mixed in with the string of festivities that Thanksgiving and Christmas bring! Stay tuned and check our blogs and Instagram’s (same handle) for more updates! And lastly thank y’all so much for all the support, we are extremely grateful.

Love,

@drariellevalentine & @mysticaurathings

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[cumholland]

Neighbors Part 2

Chapter Two - Designed for You

(Tom Holland x Reader)

a/n: Thank you so much to everyone who loved the first chapter and asked for a second one! Also thank you again to @2018shawn​ for helping me come up with the idea and @moonshineholland​ for proofreading! Chapter 1 here

Summary: After a wrench is thrown into your relationship, will you and Tom be able to handle it or will it force you apart? WC: 9.6k

Warnings: Language, LOTS of smut, angst.

"I knew it!" Hannah screams into the phone. You had finally told her about the Tom situation after mulling over it for a couple of days. Now you were sitting in Tom's sun lounger by the pool. He was out shooting today but you decided to let yourself in to go for a swim and keep Tessa company. The last time you were over Tom had given you a spare key. Invited you to come at any time you pleased. He especially encouraged you to keep Tessa company as he worried about leaving her alone for too long. After taking for her for a walk, Tessa decided it was time for a much needed nap. With her asleep, you decided to catch up on tanning as well as catch up Hannah on your predicament.

"Don't get too excited, nothing has really happened since then." Ever since that steamy make out session with Tom, the two of you hadn't really talked about it. Tom's hands were all over you for the rest of the night traveling up and down your body, his lips all over your neck. You even fell asleep in his arms, not moving from the couch until almost three in the morning. Eventually, Tessa jumped on the couch, waking you both. Tom headed to bed as he needed to prepare for shooting the next day and you spent the rest of the night back home. Since then you had hung out with Tom once, only having dinner and watching a movie. Now, two days after making out with Tom, you weren't quite sure where he stood on the situation. "We haven't really acknowledged it, I guess," you explain to Hannah.

"Wait, so you're saying you had a lust filled night of passion and now you haven't porked his brains out yet?" Hannah never was one to put a filter on what she was thinking, but when it came to your love life she was especially honest.

You get up and pace around the pool, concrete hot against your bare feet. "It wasn't a lust filled night of passion, Hannah," you start. "All we did was make out. Maybe I'm a bad kisser and that's why he hasn't tried to make another move."

"No way!" Hannah exclaims. "Boys are horndogs, they could be kissing a corpse and still be into it."

"Gross," you interrupt. "Tom isn't like any other guys I've met, Han. He's really sweet and caring and he gets totally flustered any time we get flirty." That was a fact. Tom's face could turn red faster than the blink of an eye, as could yours. Neither of you had been particularly proficient when it came to the art of flirting, but you had mastered the art of making eyes at each other from across the room. It felt like both of you were holding back, and you weren't sure when that dam was going to break. You were almost certain it had when you finally kissed, but maybe not after all.

A bark pulls you from your thoughts. Your head whips back to the house and you see Tessa standing at the back door wanting to join you outside. You jog over to the door and let her out. "What is that?" Hannah asks. "Do I hear a dog?"

"It's Tessa." You had told Hannah about the situation with Tom but you had also left out the part about the spare key, meaning you hadn't told her you were at his house at this very moment either.

"Who's Tessa? Am I being replaced as your best friend?" Hannah says sarcastically. Tessa dances around your feet, whining for attention.

"Han, it's Tom's dog, you literally met her when you came over." You pat Tessa on the head before she takes off.

"Oh yeah... I would have remembered her name if she wasn't asleep the whole time I was there!" she pesters.

"She's a dog," you roll your eyes as if Hannah can see you. "Maybe if-"

"Hold the phone, you're at his house?" She interrupts. "Is he there? Are you about to bone? I'm so confused, please explain." Hannah's thoughts often ran a million miles a minute and today was no exception. You didn't mind though, she was just excited that your love life finally had a spark. You'd been hurt in the past and she knew you weren't the most open and willing when it came to dating. It made you happy that she was ecstatic for you, even when she was a little cavalier about it.

"No, he's on set today. I'm just hanging out with Tessa and sunbathing. He gave me a spare key, it isn't a big deal." It wasn't a big deal, really, but you knew Hannah could go on about that one for hours. "I'm just hanging out here until he's back and then maybe I'll try to talk to him about the - uh - incident."

"You mean your tongue down his throat? That incident?" She pesters.

"Yes, that one," you say, rolling your eyes. You settle onto the sun lounger again, just now noticing Tessa digging around in the garden. "Tess! Get out of there, I'm not giving you another bath today."

"I wanna hear whatever details you have after tonight," Hannah insists. "And we need to hang out soon, I miss you."

"I promise, Han, we'll hang out soon." You tuck your phone under the cushion and pull out your sunscreen to apply another layer, but the only thing on your mind is what you want to say to Tom when he's back.

When Tom finally arrives back home it's almost 10 pm. You spent the rest of the afternoon working on homework while Tessa kept herself occupied with a toy. You fed her at dinnertime and made yourself a sandwich. Waiting for Tom made the minutes feel like hours, each one dragging longer than the last. You were antsy for him to come back, but at least the longer it took him to come back, the longer you could put off talking to him about your feelings.

That kiss had left you reeling, even more so than you thought it would. After confessing to Hannah, the scene kept replaying in your head. Every time you forced it out of your mind, that feeling of Tom's hands on your bare skin would pull you back in and you'd be caught up daydreaming about the way his tongue had slid into your mouth. Your hand is gripping your thigh, heat building between your legs just thinking about it. You bury your head in your hands and rub your eyes as if you can rub away the thoughts of Tom in your head. Before you get too caught up again you hear the sound of the garage door opening. Tom's home.

Tessa makes a break for the door and whines until Tom finally opens it. He's got a big bag of takeout in his hands and heads straight for the kitchen, Tessa still sniffing and dancing around his shoes. "I didn't think you'd still be here," he calls over from the island. You make your way from the living room to the kitchen, joining him in the brightly lit room.

"I would've made you dinner if I had known what time you were gonna be back but I wasn't sure." You had texted Tom earlier in the day but he hadn't responded until he was already done on set for the day. By then you had already eaten dinner and you didn't even have time to prep anything for him anyway.

"That's alright love, I was in the mood for shitty takeout anyway." You try to smile but you just scrunch up your mouth instead. All that confidence you had about confronting Tom melts away at the sight of him. He looks a little disheveled, probably just from a long day of work. It seems almost silly now, like bringing up the situation would just annoy him. You decide to bite your tongue and keep it to yourself for now. What's waiting until he has a day off? It wouldn't hurt anything.

Tom looks tired and a little annoyed so you want to be out of his space. "Um, I think I'm just gonna go, I'll let you have some peace and quiet," you say. It was probably nothing, but you wanted to give him his privacy, this was his house after all. "I was just keeping Tessa company anyway."

"You should stay," Tom says abruptly. He doesn't look up from his food, twirling the lo mein around with his fork.

"Are you sure?" You ask, testing the waters. "I don't mind going, I have some homework to do anyway." That was a lie, but if it makes Tom feel better, it made you feel better.

"It was just a long day. The director was really pushing me and I was getting frustrated. It isn't a big deal," Tom explains. He finally looks up at you, the bags under his eyes dark. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to." Tom's eyes are dark and heavy, lids almost swollen. It just now registers that he might've been crying. Frustrated at the very least.

"I know," you say softly, almost whispering. You stop for a minute, looking him up and down. His eyes are trained on his food, his usual cheery demeanor almost entirely absent. He tosses a noodle down and Tessa gobbles it up.

"I'll share my lo mein if you stay," Tom murmurs, finally looking up from his food. You let out a soft chuckle and take a seat next to Tom. He passes over his fork to you and for the first time since he got home, a smile appears on his face. It's a gentle half-smile, but a smile nonetheless. You twirl some noodles onto the fork and bring it to your mouth.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" You ask through a mouthful of noodles.

Tom just shakes his head. "I'd rather hear about what my two girls did today." Tessa's ears perk up at that. She pretends to look to the side away from Tom, pretending like she isn't begging for food.

"Well, it was a pretty relaxed day," you start. "I swam in the pool for a bit and did my homework. Tess tore up another toy." You nod over to the living room, stuffing from the toy littering the ground.

"I'm starting to think you're just using me for my pool," Tom jokes.

"Of course! I don't know what else you thought this was," you joke, hitting his shoulder. "My friend Hannah thinks it's weird, me being at your house all day."

"It is weird," Tom affirms. "It isn't really the most typical of friendships, but I like you, so why not hang out with you instead of being alone? Same goes for Tess, I'm sure she's a lot happier not being alone all day." The statement dances around in your head for a moment. Specifically the word 'friendship' along with 'I like you' storms around in your head. Thomas was good at a lot of things but sending mixed signals was maybe his best talent. "Do you think if I lay on the ground Tess will walk on my back and give me a massage? I'm sore as fuck from stunts today."

"Um," you chuckle, eyebrows scrunched together. "Yeah, I'm not quite sure she's capable of doing that." You let that linger in the air for a moment before blurting out "I could give you a massage, maybe. If you want or whatever?" "Yeah?" He asks, eyes finally meeting yours. "I'll take what I can get."

"Really?" You accidentally blurt. It wasn't like you didn't want to do it but you didn't expect him to actually take you up on it.

"What? Are you too shy?" He cracks. "We've already made out, I hardly think a massage is that scandalous." Your cheeks immediately flush with red, your palms becoming sweaty. This is the first time he's mentioned the make out incident since it happened. He doesn't even look phased as he continues to scarf down the noodles.

"I guess you're right," you hum, fingertips buzzing from the thought of touching Tom. You leave Tom at the island and go back to the living room, Tessa following behind you. You move the coffee table out of the way and set up a blanket and pillow for Tom to lay on.

Tom joins you in the living room, setting his takeout on the coffee table you pushed aside. "Nice set up," he says, examining the space you have laid out. He takes his shirt off and tosses it on to the couch and lays down on the floor on his stomach. Your eyes are like saucers. You had expected this to be a 'through the clothes' kind of massage but you weren't about to ask him to get dressed. You eye him up and down, eyes raking over his back muscles down to the Calvin Klein waistband peeking out from his jeans. Before you even touch him Tessa has gotten up from her bed and is now trying to lick Tom's face off. "Tess!" Tom whines. He gets up and takes her out back, shutting the door so the two of you will be uninterrupted. Tom is back on his stomach so you wordlessly drop to your knees by his side. The tips of your fingers meet his skin, warm and firm. You slowly move your hands up his spine, slowly palming his tense back. You feel him laugh under your hands. "Your hands are so cold, darling," he teases.

"Give it a minute," you say, lightly slapping his back and pretending to hit him. Your hands continue across his shoulders, where he is most tense. Your thumbs dig into the muscle, and Tom moans under you. You dig your thumbs into the same spot again.

"Fuck," he moans again. "You can go harder, I won't break I promise." You weren't exactly trying to be gentle, but it was hard to put your weight into it when you were arched over his side.

"Okay," you start "I just have to...," you trail off as you swing your leg over his waist and you're now straddling him. Tom lets out a soft laugh, but you don't acknowledge it. Now with better leverage, you dig back into his shoulders. Tom's smile is wiped off his face and is replaced with a look of ecstasy as he lets out a long moan.

"Shit," Tom gasps through another moan. "What did you just hit?"

"I guess you have a g-spot in your shoulders." This makes the both of you laugh. You bring your hands down to his shoulder blades and start massaging the muscle that surrounds the area. Tom had some bruising on his back from his stunt work so you didn't want to get too rough with him. Tom moans into the pillow, this time lower and drawn out. "Geez, I hope the neighbors don't hear this, it sounds quite sexual."

"It's better than sex," Tom mutters.

"Oh?"

"Not really, but it's a close second." He turns his head and looks back at you over his shoulder giving you that killer smile. You work your hands lower again, reaching the small of his back. "Am I getting an ass massage too? My glutes are sore from all the running I had to do on set today."

"In your dreams, Holland," you roll your eyes.

"Fine, fine, what about a happy ending?" Tom starts laughing before he can even finish his joke.

"Once again, in your dreams," you tease him, although for a second it crosses your mind that something like that might be in your dreams too. You massage all the way down Tom's back and all the way up to the top again. After about a half hour of massaging Tom, you finally crawl off his back and sit on the floor next to him. Tom's eyes are closed and he's half asleep from the relaxing massage. "Alright, my fingers are about to fall off." Tom slowly flips over onto his back. Your eyes dart to the bulge in his jeans. He isn't totally hard, but he at least has a semi. He doesn't seem to notice or acknowledge it as he rubs his eyes. "What? Only the back side? What about the front?" He teases again.

"You're not getting a happy ending!" You exclaim.

"That isn't even what I meant," Tom says through his grin. "My chest is sore from pull ups and I paid for the full experience!" You shoot him a confused look. "I gave you lo mein, duh."

"Tom, I had like two bites!"

"Yeah! One bite for the back and one for the front!" Tom takes your hand and brings it to his chest.

"Have I told you that you're annoying?" You badger him, caving in to his request. With your hands on his chest, you move your palms in slow circular motions, hands traveling from his chest to his shoulders. You can feel Tom looking at you so you meet his gaze. With Tom facing you everything feels a lot more intimate. You feel every inch of your skin connected to his, the heat radiating from his body to your hands. Tom licks his lips and all you can think about is kissing them again. Before you even know what you're doing you're crawling on top of him and straddling him again. "Um... leverage," is all you can stutter out. Your cheeks are flushed pink but so are Tom's. His eyes travel down your body before slowly grazing back up. Your eyes meet again. Your hands are on his chest, legs around his waist. You're riding him.

Well, sort of. You can feel his bulge pressed against your ass now, straining against his jeans. His hands come up to your waist, taking a firm hold on you. Without a second thought, you bring your face to his, lips crashing again his. Tom captures your bottom lip with his teeth, teasing you before slipping his tongue into your mouth. He traces over your lips before gliding his tongue over yours, flicking against you. Your kisses become needier, filled with lust and desire. Your noses bump together, trying to melt into one another as deep as you can go. Tom pulls your body flush against him, every part of you now rubbing together. Tom's hands explore your back, hands traveling up the back of your shirt. You bring your hands to his face, capturing his strong jaw. Tom consumes you, surrounds you with himself. From his hands on you to his tongue tracing your teeth, you feel yourself falling into him. His breath is warm, spilling into your mouth, his mouth now traveling down your neck. Tom moans against your neck, his guttural groans sending shivers down your spine, you can feel yourself getting wet. You gasp, fingers catching in Tom's hair, slowly grinding your body against his. You bring your lips to his about to press them against his again but then...

Both of you hear a whining followed by a bark. Tessa wants back inside. "She'll be fine," Tom says, his lips returning to your neck.

"No, it's fine, we don't make her stay outside. It's not like there aren't other places we can make out," you say as you get off of him, standing up. "Besides, when was the last time you even vacuumed?"

"Not since I moved in," Tom says as you go to the back door to let Tessa in. She trots into the living room, ignoring Tom and going straight for the lo mein, burying her nose in the takeout container. "Tess!" Tom chides her. "No, nasty!" Tom drags her by the collar away from the food. You can't help yourself but giggle at how things went from you on top of Tom to Tessa stealing his food. "Go on, go put yourself in timeout!" Tessa's head hangs as she slowly walks up the stairs.

"Aw, c'mon Tom she just wanted a bite! Plus you deserve it, you locked her outside."

"Whatever," Tom says as he rolls his eyes, taking his food to the trash can to throw away. Finally, with a moment to breathe, you check your phone. It's nearing midnight and you have some work to get done tomorrow.

"I should probably get going, I have to be up in the morning and it's getting a bit late." Tom looks at you with those puppy dog eyes that he has perfected but all he does is nod. He walks you to the door and gives you a soft kiss on the cheek.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" He asks.

"Yeah, sure," you smile at him before returning the kiss, this time on his lips. "See you tomorrow, Tom."

The next day it was around 7:30 pm and the sun was already beginning to set. After a long day of working from your computer, you were ready to throw in the towel. After taking a bath, you decide to text Tom and ask if he is almost home from set. It isn't until 9:00 pm when he finally responds. Just got home. Come over. Without a second thought, you get dressed and walk over to his house. As soon as your knuckles meet the dark wood of his front door, it opens to Tom's face, brightly lit with a smile. "Miss me?" Tessa comes running out the front door and sniffing at your feet.

"Tessa clearly missed me," you say, flashing a smile back at Tom.

"I missed you more," he says as he moved out of the doorframe and motions for you to come in.

"Were things easier on set today?" After how run down he looked the other day, you were hoping he was still feeling okay after another long day.

"Not too bad. Nothing a genius like me can't handle," he says as he ruffles his hair.

"I guess that explains why your head is so big."

"What!" Tom shouts, cocking his head at you. Tom grabs you around the shoulders and starts messing up your hair.

"I'm kidding, you dork!" You tell him, grabbing a hold of his arm, all too aware of the muscles underneath his soft skin. Tom releases you from his strong grasp. "Your head is perfectly average sized."

"Thank you!"

"Your ego on the other hand," you start. Tom's eyes widen again, ready to lunge at you. "Kidding again!"

"You better be," he jokes, pulling you in close again. This time his hands are wrapped around your waist, head tilted over yours. He brings his face to yours, closing the distance, lips meeting again. So this is what you were now? Intimate. More than friends. Nothing was set in stone, making you all the more nervous. You move your lips against his, falling into his kiss once again. Once you pull away you smile at him, but Tom can tell there's something off about the look on your face. "Is everything okay?" He asks, hands falling off your waist.

"I just... um," you start, shaking your head. "I hate to sound so cliche but what are we?"

"Friends?" Tom says, a confused look on his face. You return the confused look back.

"Just friends?" "Well, um, special friends," Tom clarifies. Clarifies in a way that clarities absolutely nothing. You take a step away from him.

"What does that mean exactly?" You look deep in to Tom's eyes. It's hard to tell what he's thinking.

He's wearing his glasses today making him look cute as ever. His hands are pulled tight by his sides, clearly showing he's a little on edge. "I guess I don't know exactly." Tom leans against the counter, putting a little more space between the two of you. "I just...," Tom trails off. "I can't really be in a relationship right now."

"What? Why?" You demand, the edge in your voice all too clear. You don't mean to sound pushy or even sound angry, but having your emotions toyed with is something you've never put up with. Knowing your worth has always been important to you and you didn't like to play games. You and Tom had been flirty from the start, so there was obviously something between you. In a matter of seconds, every interaction you've had with Tom flies through your head, analyzing everything from mixed signals, missed opportunities, to your especially erotic massage make out session last night. Had you missed something? What weren't you getting? What wasn't Tom getting?

Tom's mouth hangs open for a second as he tries to articulate what he's thinking. The seconds stretch out in front of you, feeling like years. "I'm not gonna be here forever," he starts. "I'm constantly going back and forth between places. In two months, once I'm done with this shoot, I'll be back in London for who knows how long." You feel the ground start shifting under you as Tom talks. Tom, the guy you had been slowly developing feelings for no matter how hard you tried not too. Tom, the guy who was jaw droppingly gorgeous and the sweetest gentleman you've ever met. Tom, the guy who didn't want to date you.

You try to muster up a response but you have no idea what to say. Now it's your turn for your mouth to hang up. "I guess I don't know what to say." "You don't have to say anything," Tom says, closing the distance between you, wrapping his arms around you again. "Why do we even need to have a label on it? Why can't we just enjoy each other's company? I've loved spending time with you and I don't want that to change."

"But...," you start.

"But I just can't have a relationship right now, love." Tom places a kiss on your forehead. I have to be a million places all over the world as soon as press for my next movie starts. It would just make it harder on both of us and I can't do that to you. I can't promise you something when I know it isn't going to work out." You do your best to suppress rolling your eyes. After all this time of being a total gentleman, now he wants to be a fuckboy like every other guy in California? Hannah would definitely be hearing about this later.

"Sure," you say bluntly. You were irritated and you just wanted the conversation to be over. If Tom didn't want a girlfriend then fine, you wouldn't push the envelope, but you wouldn't let him play with your emotions either.

"Please, don't be mad at me-"

"I'm not," you interrupt. "I guess I'm just disappointed. Let's just drop it." You cross your arms and lean against the counter.

Tom crosses his arms too and stays silent for a moment. "I'm sorry," he mumbles. "I can't lead you on I couldn't keep that from you."

"It's fine," you reiterate. "It's whatever. I'm glad you told me." You really were glad he told he told you. Glad you could keep yourself from getting more hung up on him. You uncross your arms to keep yourself from looking too upset. "So what's the plan? Are you making me dinner or do I have to do everything around here?" There was a stillness and a comfort around you. Without worrying about a potential relationship you could just enjoy yourself, right?

Tom cracks a small smile of that, breaking through the troubled look on his face. "How about I buy you takeout instead." You jokingly roll your eyes, making fun of his inability to cook.

Friends. There was nothing wrong with friends. Watching Tom as he grabbed his phone to order food, you thought to yourself that there were plenty more fish in the sea.

"I don't think I'm understanding," Hannah ranted. You texted her as soon as you got back from Tom's and she immediately made plans to come over the next day. Now the two of you were laying in your room listening to music as you so often did before you started spending so much time at Tom's house.

You pull your blanket over your head, groaning into the soft covers. "I don't even know why I got so invested. I'm sorry I haven't been around as much, I shouldn't have let trying to get with Tom take up so much of my time."

"Don't say that!" Hannah asserts. "You're still in desperate need of dick and it doesn't always just come to you, you have to put in work for it sometimes!"

"But I didn't even get any!" You whine. "Besides that wasn't what I was going for! Haven't you ever heard of happily ever after?" "My happily ever after includes me getting good dick." While Hannah is talking you get up from your bed and go over to your bay window, sitting down on the cushions. "His dick isn't even off the table either, hun. I know it isn't exactly what you were hoping for but you don't have to go back to the nunnery just yet." "I think that's called a convent," you tease. Hannah always knew how to make you smile even when you were feeling down. Hannah sits up from the bed and joins you at the window. You look over at Tom's backyard to see him coming outside with a towel, about to go for a swim. "Listen, boys change up like the weather all the time. They never know what they want and they're always changing their minds. It doesn't matter if you and Tom aren't destined to be together, just have some fun." Hannah grabs your hands, pulling you close. "I know you're never satisfied with guys and they're always letting you down, but you've been the happiest hanging out with Tom than you have been in a while. You don't have to totally cut him out just because he's a little bit of a douche. We already knew that hun, he's a guy they're all dicks."

You let out a soft laugh and nod. Hannah had a point. She always did, she was too smart for her own good. "I'm not gonna tell you you're right because you already know you are."

"Of course I'm right, babes," Hannah says as she hugs you. "Have some fun, let loose! You practically wet yourself when you made out with him. It's up to you, hun, do whatever you want. Do you know what you want?"

You look out to Tom's yard and watch as he dives headfirst into the pool. Dating Tom might not be in your future, but there was obviously something between you. Did you know what you wanted?

You took a few days to yourself to think about your situation. Tom had been texting you but your responses were inconsistent and sporadic. He asked you to come over more than once but you told him you were busy or had plans with Hannah, which wasn't technically lying as Hannah had come over for a few nights to watch movies. Now, it was the weekend and you had spent most of the day laying in bed. Tom was at work but you had texted him and asked to come over later. He replied almost instantly with an absolutely. Tom didn't seem to be upset with you even though you pulled had a bit of a disappearing act. He could probably imagine how confused you had been over the past few days. But you weren't confused anymore. Tom was just a boy and you were just a girl. And you were just a girl wanting to let loose.

You found yourself in Tom's living room once more. Tom was on one side of the couch and you were on the other. It had felt a bit awkward since you had come over, but the conversation had been flowing as usual. You had fallen back into your typical poking fun at each other banter and Tom had put on some shitty horror movie. "Why do you always have to put on shitty movies like this, why can't we watch a good one?"

"Well if it's a shitty movie then we can make fun of it. We always end up talking over it anyway," he explains.

"Then why don't you put on music or something, dummy," you tease.

"Fine!" Tom caves in. He turns off the movie and pulls up Spotify on the TV, turning on one of his playlists. "Alright missy, you got your wish, now what do you want to talk about."

"First we can talk about how Chris Evans is so much hotter than you," you joke. Tom tosses a pillow at your face but you smack it out of the way before it hits you. "I'm kidding Mr. Holland, you're the hottest superhero."

"Damn right," Tom says, smile proud on his face. You roll your eyes at that.

Would now be a good time to ask him? runs through your head. You've thought about it for days now, so why pussy out? It's just a few simple words. "Tom, I...," you trailed off.

"Huh?"

"I, um... ," you started again. "Um, do you have any snacks?"

"Oh, uh, yeah," Tom says as he got up from the couch. He disappeared into the kitchen to grab whatever the fuck he thought you wanted. Shit was all you could think. You always froze up at the last second, always too scared to shoot your shot. After a minute, Tom came back with an assortment of snacks. He dropped the pile of snacks on the couch next to you and took a seat on the other side. "Plenty?" Tom asks as he digs his hand into a bag of chips.

"Yeah," you start again. "Actually, um, I meant to ask about the other day." Tom looks up from his chips, mouth full and his loud crunching distracting you. He doesn't interrupt, just keeps looking at you. "About the relationship thing..."

"Hun, I-"

"You're not looking for a relationship," you interrupt him. "That's fine, I know, but... why don't we just... have fun then?" Tom studies your face for a minute. His eyebrows are scrunched together and the look of confusion takes over his face.

"I'm sorry," he starts. "What exactly are you asking?"

Hannah's words fly through your head: just have fun. "Fun, like I said," you say, looking him in the eyes, his tight knit eyebrows slowly coming undone. "No strings attached."

"Friends with benefits?" Tom asks.

"Exactly," you explain. "You don't want a relationship and I don't want to get my feelings hurt. But that doesn't mean I'm not still... attracted to you." Tom keeps his eyes trained on you, watching you as he chews on his bottom lip. "You can say no, I'm just thinking out loud."

"Are you sure?" He asks. You weren't fully sure of yourself, but these days you often weren't. The world kept going even when you were standing still, so what was the point in waiting around to question yourself any longer?

"Yes," you blurt. "We have a good thing going for us already, I mean. And we're both adults with needs so... why not?" The silence hangs in the air for another moment, the atmosphere in the room warm and still. Your hands are clammy and your face is definitely on fire. You weren't often bold like this and it was a new sensation to you.

"Well then... why not?" Tom finally says. "I mean, I'm not exactly sure how to go about this I guess."

You weren't exactly sure how this would go either. Or even how it would start. "We can just let things happen organically and see what happens."

Tom nodded, tossing the bag of chips aside. "So we can make out now?" He looked like an eager kid in a candy store.

You laughed at him and rolled your eyes. "I said organically, Thomas."

After talking to Tom about the new aspects of your friendship, you decided to turn the shitty horror movie back on to fill the silence while you retreated into your thoughts. It was hard to tell what Tom was thinking and it made you more nervous that he might be thinking this was a bad idea. He seemed excited enough, but your doubts had a way of getting the better of you. You were so shrouded in your thoughts you hadn't even noticed the movie was over. "Not as shitty as the last one but still pretty shitty," Tom commented.

"I get to pick the movie next time," you declared.

Tom laid down on the couch, using your lap as a pillow. "My taste is immaculate, don't be jealous." You rolled your eyes at that one. "Have I ever told you how gorgeous you are?"

"I think so. Every night before I go to bed you tell me I'm gorgeous and the most important woman in the world," you pester him.

"No, that's Tess," he says laughing.

"Whatever," you roll your eyes.

"You are gorgeous though," he says again. "I know I've put you in a complicated situation and all, but you're the fittest girl I've ever met. You're stunning and you're way smarter than me."

"Clearly," you tease him again.

"And I'm not just complimenting you to get in your pants, I really mean it," Tom says. "I just... are you really sure about this?" Tom looks into your eyes. His eyes are soft in gentle. Everything about him is soft and gentle. He's so sweet and compassionate and caring that you start to feel your doubts melt away. Maybe you weren't making the right decision, but it was a decision that still made you happy. You push him off your lap and force him to sit up. Before he can say anything else, you press your lips against his. It's softer than your last kiss, this one more gentle and subdued. Your lips move in sync, pushing into one another, slow and passionate like you have all the time in the world. Tom runs his hands through your hair, pulling you into him.

Tom pulls back for a second to look at you. "Is this okay?" He asks, voice heavy with desire. You nod your head and lean back in, lips meeting his again. You deepen this kiss this time, slipping your tongue into his mouth. Tom's breathing is getting heavier by the second as the kiss becomes more intense. His hands find your waist, pulling you closer until he has you in his lap. You wrap your arms around his neck as you straddle him. Your tongue slides against his, teeth clashing as the kiss becomes sloppier. Tom pulls away again, this time his lips shiny and starting to redden from your lips hungrily attacking each other. "Should we take this upstairs?" His voice is low and gruff, saturated with lust. You try your best to formulate words but all you can is nod your head.

Tom leads you up the stairs. He brings you to his bedroom, which you haven't been in since the first night you came to Tom's house. He closes the door behind you and dims the lights, giving the room a soft, sensual glow. Tom backs you up against the edge of the bed and you let yourself fall back onto it. Tom crawls on top of you, kissing up your neck as he comes back to your lips.

Your hands find their way under his shirt, slowly traveling up his back. Tom breaks to kiss to take his shirt off, pulling it over his head. You watch as his abdomen muscles ripple as he moves before his mouth is all over yours again. You can already feel the heat building between your legs, the wetness forming as your desire for Tom burns like a wildfire. He kisses back down your neck to your collarbone until his lips meet the fabric of your shirt. "Can I take it off you?" He asks, looking up at you. His puppy dog eyes now taking a different form, something more raw and needy.

You sit up as Tom grabs the hem of your shirt, pulling it over top of your head. "I don't think I've ever told you how great your tits are," Tom teases.

"Shut up," you laugh, shaking your head at him. You unclasp your bra, letting it slide off your shoulders. Tom's mouth practically gapes at the sight of your bare breasts.

"Wow," is all he can muster. You giggle at him as you back your way to the top of the bed, Tom following right behind you. With you on your back, he crawls between your legs, wrapping them around his waist. He slowly grinds his body against yours and you can feel his erection through his sweatpants. You palm his bulge, feeling the harness through the fabric. Tom moans into your mouth as his tongue meets yours again, warm breaths exchanged between you. Tom begins to slide down, his bare skin against yours as he goes. He kisses a trail down your neck before choosing a spot to slowly lick and caress with his tongue, gently sucking in a way that will be sure to leave a mark. His hands find your breasts, taking a handful and slowly rubbing them and creating friction against your nipples. A gentle moan leaves your lips, giving Tom the green light to let him know that you love what he's doing. After he's satisfied with the mark he's left on your neck he lowers his face to your tits, his tongue finding the nipple. Tom gently begins to suck and graze his teeth of your sensitive nipples, now hard from Tom's work. This time you let out a louder moan, knotting your fingers into Tom's hair as his warm, wet tongue focuses on your erogenous zone. Tom moves to the other side, his tongue lashing at the tender skin, driving you crazy before you're even fully undressed.

"Fuck, Tom," you let out a breathy moan. He looks up at you, nipple in his mouth and lets out a low moan. You bite your lip at the sexy sight of him. While Tom is still working on you, you start to wiggle out of your pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them with one hand. Tom notices you struggling and helps slide them off of you. With his warm mouth gone, the cold air hits your skin where he has left it wet with his tongue.

With your pants gone, you're left only in your underwear, and Tom looks captivated by the sight. "You're so fucking sexy, love," Tom practically moans. He positions his head between your thighs and kisses each one, licking his way back up. His mouth meets the fabric of your panties and he lets out a hot breath that breaks through the thin fabric. By now you're practically soaked from anticipation, desperately aching to feel his tongue on you. Tom hooks his fingers across the fabric, moving it to the side without taking them off. He licks a tantalizing slow strip up your slit, his tongue finding it's way between your slit, enveloping him in your heat. "So fucking wet for me," he moans against you. Tom's mouth feels like heaven against you, his soft lips rubbing against you, his tongue working it's way in and out of you, gliding up and down your slit. Tom grabs your ass, slightly lifting you off the bed to slide your panties down to your ankles. He spreads your legs as far apart as he can before his head finds it's place between your legs again. His lips wrap around your clit, slowly licking against the nub before grazing his teeth against it. You involuntarily gasp for air and moan, throwing your head back against the pillow as your hips buck up against his tongue. You look back down to watch Tom as he gently assaults your clit with his tongue, eyes trained on you. "Keep your eyes on me," Tom murmurs against you.

"O-okay," you manage to get out between moans. It had been a while since a guy had gone down on you but this was already a million times better than you had ever had before. Tom lets out a gentle puff of air onto your sensitive, throbbing clit. You struggle to keep your eyes open, watching Tom as he expertly works every inch of you. Your hand finds it's way to his hair again, your fingers threading through his hair, keeping his head in place. Tom's head is moving up and down now, his tongue traveling over your soaked folds. Tom has one hand on your thigh keeping you spread open as he moves the other one to hover over your clit. As his head moves down further, his thumb takes the place of his tongue, now rubbing your clit in circles.

Tom moans against you again, sending deep vibrations into you that you feel in your core. "You taste so fucking good," he groans.

"Please, fuck, please," you moan. "More." Your hips are slowly bucking in rhythm with his tongue, your juices flowing from how turned on you are. "Fuck," you gasp. "Please... fingers." Tom wordlessly responds. He lifts his head up spitting onto your opening, saliva and your juices dripping from his lips. It's messy and sloppy and probably the hottest thing you've ever seen. Tom uses his spit and your wetness to easily slide his index finger inside you. "Fucking hell," you gasp. You sit up on your elbows to get a better view of Tom as his tongue travels back to your clit, as he buries a second finger inside you. "Tom, fuck!" You cry out. Tom curls his fingers inside you, pumping them in and out, quickly picking up the pace. The faster he goes, the more stars that start to appear in your vision. "Tom, I'm getting close," you warn. You feel your body begin to get warm all over, that pit of pleasure building in your stomach. Tom begins to pick up the pace of his fingering, his tongue lapping aggressively at your clit, swirling around it and gently biting it. "Fuck, fuck!" You scream as your body starts to fall to pieces. You feel your orgasm wash over you, starting in the pit of your stomach and reaching all the way to the tips of your toes and back up. A sob escapes your throat as your toes curl and the orgasm finished wracking through your body. "Holy shit, Tom, where'd you learn to do that?"

"Practice," he says, flashing that cheeky smile at you. Although this time he has your juices drenching his lips and chin. Tom comes up from beneath your legs, planting a wet kiss on your lips. You can taste yourself on his lips but that seems to only turn you on more.

You pull away and give him a devilish grin. "My turn?"

"You're naughty," he teases. "But absolutely," Tom crawls off of you and falls beside you on his back, putting a pillow behind him to prop himself up. His hard on is still raging through his sweatpants, a small patch of precum leaking through the grey fabric. Fuck, his bulge looks big. You run your hand across his bulge, palming at his hard member. Tom hooks his thumbs over his waistband and slides his sweatpants down, cock smacking against his stomach as it jumps out from his underwear. His cock is long and hard, precum dripping from the tip. His cock is red and straining, throbbing from how excited he is. Without hesitation, you grab his cock, slowly pumping the thick meat. You rub your thumb against the head, spreading the precum over it and dragging it down his shaft. "Fuck, baby," Tom moans, head falling back against the headboard. You tease his cock, jerking him off at a tantalizingly slow pace, letting the tension build.

After teasing him with your hand, you bring your mouth down to the head of his cock and flick your tongue against it. Tom lets out a breathy moan and tangles his fingers into your hair, pushing your head down with a bit of force. You take the head into your mouth, tongue finding the sensitive spot under the tip. Tom's cock was already hard but you felt it grow rock hard in your mouth, his pre cum leaking into your mouth now, hot and salty. You bob your head up and down, opening your throat up for him. "Your mouth feels so fucking good," Tom pants, thrusting his hips up into your mouth. You grab his balls, slowly tugging at them and working them around with your fingers until his cock is buried entirely down your throat. Tears escape your eyes but you keep yourself from gagging, pulling off his cock. You lick a stripe up his shaft and back down, taking a second to play with his balls in your mouth, tongue traveling around his sack. You take his cock down into your mouth again and he thrusts up into your throat. Tom pushes you down further onto his cock, fucking your mouth. You gag a couple of times before you get the hang of it, but once you do Tom is thrusting into your throat with ease.

Tom's breathing is heavy and labored as he breaks out into a sweat. He raises up his hand, bringing it down on your ass, causing a loud smack, leaving a red hand print on your ass. "Open your legs for me, baby," he commands. You do as he says and he leans forward so he can reach you, his long fingers finding their way in your slit again. He collects your wetness and brings it to your mouth. You open up for him and taste yourself on him, your tongue dancing around his fingers. You moan onto his fingers before he pushes you back down onto his cock again. He leans forward again, this time his fingers meeting your entrance, sliding into you to the knuckle. He fingers you fast and rough, the sounds of your wetness turning him on even more.

"I can't take it any longer I need to be inside you now," Tom demands, standing up on the bed as you pull off of his cock. "Get on your hands and knees." You do as he says, positioning yourself on the edge of the bed. He gets on his knees, his face in line with your dripping pussy. He buries his face in it, tongue licking it's way through your folds, making you gasp and scream with pleasure.

"Fuck!" You moan, burying your face into his duvet. "Tom, it feels so fucking good!" As you're gasping into the pillow, Tom gets up from his knees and lines the head of his cock up with your entrance, slapping his head against your soaked folds. You bite your lip and push your hips back against him, begging to feel the fullness of his cock inside you. 

Tom teases you with his cock, holding your hips in place, making you wait and beg for him to give you what you want. "You want more?" All you can muster is a moan as you push against him harder. He slides the head inside you, slowly opening up your entrance. "So fucking tight."

"Oh, fuuuck!" You cry out, mouth hanging open as he slides another inch inside. He slides in until he's halfway in and you can feel yourself stretching around him, the heat of your tight walls adjusting to his size. "Tom, please," you hiss. "More, please." Tom adheres to your begs, sliding in the rest of his cock with a quick, hard stroke, balls slapping against you. "Ah, fuck, Tom!" You moan, gasps and hisses falling from your mouth. You try to form a sentence, tell him you love it, tell him it feels fucking amazing, tell him his cock is bringing you the most pleasure you've ever felt, but all you can muster is garbled moans and cries.

Tom starts pumping in and out of you, faster and faster, his hips slapping against yours. You can feel his cock throbbing inside you, his rhythm steady and consistent as he fills you up. Tom grabs you by the hair and pulls you up, your bodies flush against each other. He buries his face in your neck, licking and sucking on the mark he already left on you, the skin still sensitive from the earlier assault. Tom's hand travels down to your now easily accessible clit, his index and middle finger rubbing in circles in time with the rhythm of his thrusts. "You're so fucking wet... dripping down my cock," Tom grunts through gritted teeth. "Fucking hell, your pussy was made for me."

Tom pulls out of you and spins you around then pushes you back on the bed. He crawls between your legs and lifts them onto his shoulders, centering his cock with your entrancing and sliding his entire length back into with a resounding thrust. "Fuck!" You cry out, grabbing hold of his arms, feeling the veins that wrap around his muscles under the soft skin. Tom immediately picks the pace back up, the bed squeaking and shaking from the ferocity of his fucking.

"Play with yourself, I wanna see you touch your clit while I'm fucking you," Tom orders. Your hand flies down to your clit, fingers toying with yourself. It feels even better with him inside you, every thrust sending a shockwave to your core.

You throw your head back, letting your body succumb to the pleasure. "Tom! Fuck I can't...," you trail off. You try to warn Tom that he's getting you close, bringing you closer to the edge with every thrust, but the pleasure has left you unable to form words. Tom brings your legs down from his shoulders and wraps them around his waist. Tom lays his body across yours, bare skin rubbing against bare skin, gliding over the other from sweat. Tom wraps one arm behind your head, bringing your face together, lips meeting as he buries his cock deep inside you, the head rubbing against your sweet spot as he slowly grinds his hips against yours, hitting that spot deep inside you over and over. "Tom!" You moan into his mouth. You feel the pressure building in your stomach each time he buries himself deeper. You grab his hand from your waist and push it to your clit, begging him to give you your release. Tom gets the memo and starts to rub your clit in circles with the rough pad of his thumb.

"Such a dirty girl for me," he moans into your mouth. You feel your body start to convulse. You grab on to his shoulders, your walls closing in around him. Tom picks up the pace of his thrusting, burying his cock as deep inside you as he can, working on your clit harder, collecting your wetness on his fingers to use on your clit.

"Tom," you gasp. "Fuck, don't stop!" Your hips buck and your legs shake, Tom hitting your sweet spot as you feel the pressure release. The pleasure washes over you, your mouth hanging open as guttural moans escape your mouth. You close your eyes, stars swirling around your vision as you feel your orgasm reaching it's peak. Tom knows what he's doing to you and he's loving every second, feeling your walls tighten on his cock, feeling your body shake in his hands as he pushes you over the point of no return. You buck your hips onto his cock, riding out the waves of your orgasm as you start coming down.

Tom gives you a few more thrusts before he grunts in your ear, his thrusts becoming short and hard as his body tenses up. He lets out a final groan before his pulsing cock begins to spurt his ribbons of cum inside you, holding your hips steady as he realizes inside you. "Fuck!" He grunts through gritted teeth. "Fucking hell," he moans, pumping inside you, his spent cock throbbing and twitching, fucking the cum out of you, letting it drip from your opening. Tom's mouth meets yours again, tongues intertwining as you pant and moan into each other's mouths, hardly able to move from how spent the both of you are.

Breathing heavy, the air hot and sticky, Tom is the first to break the post-orgasm silence. "I can't even remember the last time I came that hard," he smiles, breaking out into a laugh.

You bury your head into your hands, hiding your face from him. "So we really did that, huh?" You peek out through your fingers to see him flash that cheeky grin at you. You start laughing and shaking your head. "Such a dork."

"A dork who made you cum harder than you ever have before," he teases, leaving one final kiss to your neck. You roll your eyes at that, even though it was the truth.

Tom gets up from the bed to grab a towel from the bathroom. He turns on the shower before coming back, placing a towel beside you. "So," he starts. "Again tomorrow?"

"Obviously," you giggle, flashing him a devilish smile. Oh boy, what had you gotten yourself into?

Taglist: @hollanddolanfangirl​ @quaksvn​ @fandom-phaser​ @hollands-osterfield​ @evanssgi​ @happytsholland​ @lu-morningstar​ @ilivefortomhholland​ @quaksonhehe​ @ninjassassin13​ @softholand​ 

[morimallow]

Dive With Me

⚠ : slight (?) NSFW in the beginning.

pairing: Hoshiumi Korai x reader because he be second to my Morisuke.

HOLY SHIT, I FORGOT. THIS CONTAINS SLIGHT SPOILERS ABOUT THE HAIKYUU MANGA.

“K-Korai..!” you called out his name as you tightened around his dick. “Slow down.. a-ahh..” You grabbed the edge of the headboard to gather some strength because he was pounding into you real good. He was filling you to the brim, hitting the exact same spot over and over again.

He leaned closer to you with his mouth dangerously near your ear. Hearing his soft grunts and heavy breathing just turns you on even more than before. “If you want me to slow down, you have to beg,” he pulls out his thick cock until only the tip is in, he continued, “louder, for my name,” he thrusts in you in one swift harsh move, “and harder, my darling.” You clenched your dripping pussy upon hearing that endearment he only uses in bed.

You moaned and screamed his name as he thrusted in and out of you harder and faster. “Fuck, baby. Are you trying to milk me, huh? You feel so fucking good.” Without a word, you squeezed him inside you as you ride out your orgasm prolonged by your boyfriend's hot groans and marks by sucking your neck. Korai followed you and came inside, his thick cum filling up the condom haha u thought practice safe sex.

After resting for a bit, he stood up in all his crowning glory I mean dude he's seriously hot threw the condom in the trash bin and went back to the bed spooning you.

He placed soft open-mouthed kisses on your shoulder and nape, secretly trying to look at your phone screen.

“Korai, love,” you started and he hummed in response, his all attention on you. “Can we adopt?”

He moved his hand from your waist down and started drawing soothing circles on your stomach. “Why? Is one of us infertile or something? We can just make one. You should've told me to stop using con—” You cut him of by your hysterical laughter.

“Fuck!” You continued laughing, grabbing his hand tightly around your stomach as it starts to hurt. Then finally, you said, “But we can't make a whale, babe. I want a whale.”

Right then, you were now laying on your back and you see in your peripheral vision that your boyfriend is staring at you— blankly. After a while, he said breathlessly, “Are you serious right now? You're unbelievable.”

“But I really want a whale. Midnight is so cute!” you tried to reason out to him. You had your obsession with whales when you were in junior high. These large mammals roam in vast and calm oceans that you just wanna swim with them forever. You were a professional diver even before you started college and graduated from a prestigious school, earning your bachelor's degree in Marine Biology and now you're taking up Cetology for further studies.

Seeing that your boyfriend is still not convinced, you straddled his stomach, completely forgetting that you're butt-naked. Placing one of your gentle hands on his hard and toned chest, you gave him your puppy eyes, “Just look at him!” you exclaimed as you held out your phone to him, picture of Midnight's tail above the water.

And with that, Korai almost gave in to your charms like he always does. He placed his rough and calloused hands on your hips, “Baby, we can't possibly home a huge ass whale here—” and you snapped. You know Korai doesn't share the same love for whales as you do but he should at least know it's illegal to take whales from their natural habitat.

You got up and stood by the bed and said with such disappointment, “Home a whale? That's what's impossible. It's an adoption! It's just a certificate but the staff would take care of him. They'd just send us pictures and videos of our baby and that's it.” You stomped towards the bathroom, with your back facing him, you said, “You should've at least known that I'd never adopt a whale to live in our house but to help them,” entered the room and slammed the door at his gaping face.

Feeling irritated at your actions, Korai decided to share this to his team and get their opinions.

“Even you, Kageyama? Seriously,” he scoffed and went out for his early morning run. You usually go together but you're both irritated so Korai decided to just ignore you.

Walking out of the bathroom, you saw that Korai was no where to be found. Maybe I hurt him..? You tend to not think of someone's feelings when it comes to whales. Guessing that he won't be back until lunch or probably until dinner, you went to your university to continue your lab research. If he'll ignore you then might as well ignore him too.

You couldn't concentrate on your research and your professor suggested you go home early and come back when you feel better. You agreed, thinking that your boyfriend was waiting for you to come home and you'd make your dinner together but when you got home, it was empty. It was cold and just.. dull. He's not here. It's just a house.

Trying to be optimistic, you started to make dinner. Since your boyfriend is an athlete, you made him something which is low in carbs and high in protein. You were always thoughtful and observant — keeping tabs on every little detail about him. Like how he crunches his nose when he blushes, how he kisses your forehead when he has early morning practice, the way he moves making the smallest sounds possible because he doesn't want to wake you up..

An hour passed. Two, three, four..

You lost count and fell asleep in the dining room.

You've had enough. Alright, Y/N, you're going to the university, finish Chapter 4, pass it to professor, continue your experimentation, go for an evening jog and don't think of Korai. Who cares if you're getting busy the day before your birthday? Not like your boyfriend will throw an unexpected party or at least come home, right? You're pathetic. And you did just that.

Sun shining through the window, you slowly opened your eyes. You looked at the clock and it was already 11AM. Maybe he's home. You ran towards the door, with the biggest smile on your face, to see if his shoes are there. And they weren't.

You came home at around 21:32 and you're beat, so, you took a quick shower and went to bed, not bothered by the fact that he didn't come back.

The soft mattress of the bed left your back and was replaced by two strong and muscled arms. It was warm. It was home. It was Korai. You didn't believe that he was here carrying you to who-knows-where. But even so, guilt was eating you up and you said to the dream Korai, “I'm so sorry, love,” and you sniffled a cry. The dream Korai kissed your forehead and then a peck to your lips. “I'm sorry too, my love, but I need you to go back to sleep, okay?” He's not real but you muttered an okay back anyway.

When you dream, you always end up waking up on the floor not unless Korai is holding you in your sleep but you didn't expect that you'd wake up in a different.. soft bed. You slowly sat up because you were kinda dizzy. Maybe you did fall off the bed but the small window inside the room said otherwise. It was still dark out, probably dawn. Your boyfriend's Adlers jacket caught your eyes. It was hung beside the window with a pair track pants and your favorite shirt from Korai's closet. Feeling a little chilly, you wore the given clothes and tucked your hands inside the pocket of the jacket. You felt a paper and took it out. It read: Come to the upper deck, baby. There are signs so you won't get lost. I'll be waiting.

You saw him leaning slightly over the railings. With the strong wind and waves crashing against the ship, he couldn't hear you walking towards him. You placed your arms around his torso, placing your hands against his rock-hard abs to keep it warm. “You weren't a dream after all,” you whispered more to yourself as you tightened your grip around him.

“I'm always real,” he replied as he took one of your hands and putting it up to his lips to kiss it. It was warm. It was real. Clenching your hand to a fist, you pressed your forehead against his back and held back the tears. “You're here. You came back..”

He turned around and held your chin with his thumb and index finger to look into your eyes. His features softened even more as he saw your tears. He cupped your cheek and held you by your waist, pulling you closer to him and pressed his lips against yours. You missed this. You missed him. The kiss was slow and passionate. You pulled for a brief moment to tilt your heads and came back to each other's lips. Eyes closed, bodies in one big bubble, and hearts connected. He pulled away and you chased his lips and slowly opened your eyes. He has this mischievous glint in his eyes. You know he saw you wanting for more and you blushed looking down.

“Fuck this,” you muttered. You wrapped your arms around his neck, standing on your tip-toes, and kissed him again. This time, longer.

He snaked his arms around your waist and backed you up against the railing. He bit and nibbled on your plump lower lip as he pulled away, out of breath. He placed an open-mouthed kiss on your exposed neck and you moaned at the warmth.

“Let's go back to our room, yeah? It's quite cold,” he stated as he ran his hands through your hair.

“Carry me? You're warm,” you showed him your puppy eyes and super pouty lips, result of your intense kiss.

He shook his head and smiled at your cuteness. He spread his arms and said, “Jump,” and you did. He immediately supported your body as your wrapped your arms and legs around him, burying your head in the crook of his neck and dozed off.

You woke up again in a moving vehicle but this time, you were blindfolded.

“Korai! Are you fucking serious?!” you shouted because you have no idea where your boyfriend is seated or whether he is in the vehicle.

Series of laughters and uh-oh's erupted as someone chuckled beside you and kissed your cheek. “Don't worry, love. We're close. I just hope you're ready for this.” You scoffed, said fine, and squeezed his hand.

After a while, the vehicle stopped. The door was opened and Korai tugged your hand. As soon as you were outside, you asked, “The ocean..?”

Korai guided you to an office. You heard him say, “Mr. Hoshiumi. Yes.. yes. Thank you.”

“Ko-chaaaaaan, tell me what's happening. Take of—” And he really did take off your blindfold. He handed you a paper bag and instructed, “Go change into that. The changing room is up ahead to the right. I'll wait for you here.”

In less than 3 minutes, you came back to the spot and screamed, “I'M GOING DIVING?!” with so much excitement that the staff started to laugh quietly. You eyed your boyfriend. The wetsuit hugging his toned body and it occurred to you.. “YOU'RE DIVING WITH ME?”

Double-checking whether your gears are properly secured, your eyes caught a whale, leaping out of the water. You're frozen in the spot. “Korai..”

“Hmm?” he replied, busy with the equipment.

“I saw Midnight,” you said to him. Then, you turned to the staff who was with you and asked, “The whale who just leapt. That was Midnight, right? Tell me I'm right.”

As she was about to answer, the sound of a whale diving back into the water entered your ears. You whipped your head and just saw the tail. Your eyes widened. “Holy fucking shit, Korai! It really is Midnight!” you whisper-shouted to him.

His eyebrows furrowed and confusion was clear on his handsome features, “How do you know? You just saw it's tail.”

“Exactly!”

“What? Don't whales all look the same?”

You can't help but roll your eyes at his question. “Of course not. Whales are identified and and named by their tails. His name is Midnight because his whole tail is a dark shade of blue.”

“Oh, good. Now I can identify my son as well,” he said to you smiling. You melted at the sight but then you realized..

“Son?! You adopted Midnight?!” you whisper-shouted at him again.

“Yes, and why are you whisper-shouting? You can just voice out your excitement, you know?”

You glared at him, “Excuse me, Hoshiumi Korai. You must know that whales could be gravely affected by noise pollution.”

After diving into the water with Korai and the staff, who is holding a camera, maybe for documentation of something, you quickly searched for Midnight.

With your keen eye, you spotted him and quickly swam towards him, Korai and the staff followed behind, so you could bond with him.

While swimming with the adopted whale with so much joy, Korai grabbed your hand and made you face him.

You gave him a questioning look and it was answered the time he pulled out a small box and opened it. You were shocked.

You pulled the him upwards, heads now above the water. You quickly took off his mouthpiece and goggles. As you locked eyes with him, he knew the answer.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close, he held the box tightly in his hand and you wrapped yours around his neck.

Your lips met. The saltwater or probably tears joining in your mouth. He pulled away, pressed his forehead against yours and held your left hand. As he slipped the ring and kissed you once again, Midnight leapt just behind you. And the staff captured this perfect moments.

After getting the certificate of adoption and the whale brochure, you were now in the upper deck with Korai by your side, enjoying the full-blown formal engagement party planned by your fiance's rivals and now friends back in his highschool days.

With a drink in his hand, a light brown-haired man approached you. You recognized him as one of Korai's teammates in the Japanese National Team.

“Congrats, man. I was gonna let you pay double for the rent if Y/N-san here didn't accept your marriage proposal,” Yaku-san said and laughed lightly. He acknowledged you by bringing his cup of wine lightly towards you and you did the same.

“Thanks and as if I'd pay double. Go away. Shoo!”

“Oh, you're dissing the owner of the ship now? How bold, Hoshiumi-san,” then Yaku started to walk away. When he was near the door, he shouted, “Pay triple, you fucktard!”

As Korai was babbling incoherent words, probably insults, you grabbed him by the arm and pulled him towards the side of the deck where no one can see you. Looking down and pinching his blazer, “Give it me.”

“Give to you what?”

“Your coat! Let me wear it.. ”

He hugged you tight and placed his chin on top of your head, “Why, my fiancee? Want to show your possessio—”

“My nipples are hard, goddamn it, Korai!” you said it directly at his chest. He pulled away looked at your body. You looked extra ravishing tonight as you wore a red silk dress—low cut to show enough cleavage, a slit up just below your hip, spaghetti straps and your lower back fully exposed.

“You're so perfect I want to pound into you until you can't attend university for your degree but I'll deal with you later,” he said as he took of his coat and draped it over your shoulders.

“Let's go greet some more guests,” he said and started to walk towards the crowd.

Feeling a little bolder, you grabbed his tie and pulled him towards you, nose touching.

Maintaining eye contact, you licked his upper lip and said seductively, “Can later be now, darling?”

He groaned into the crook of your neck and replied, “I'm gonna give you the best birthday present yet.”

M. List

[mab1905]

More Fitzjames content? Yeah... here’s a playlist for ya’ll...

These are songs which I think describe him at different points in his character developement or simply different aspects of his personality. Somewhat James/Crozier (Fitzier) but all about James.

(25 songs, 1 hour 33 min)

Song List + Most Character-Relevant Lyrics:

Fancy — Orville Peck

We didn't have money for food or rent / To say the least, we was hard pressed / Then Mama spent every last penny we had / To buy me a dancin' dress / Mama washed and combed and curled my hair / And she painted my eyes and lips / Stepped into a satin dancin' dress / That had a slit in the side clean up to my hips / It was red velvet trim, and it fit me good / Starin' back from the lookin' glass / There stood a woman where a half-gown boy had stood / ... / It sounded like somebody else that was talkin' / Askin', "Mama, what do I do?" / She said, "Just be nice to the gentlemen, Fancy / They'll be nice to you" / "Here's your one chance, Fancy, don't let me down / Here's your one chance, Fancy, don't let me down / Lord, forgive me for what I do / But if you want out, well, it's up to you / Now don't let me down now / Your mama's gonna move you uptown"

gold rush — Taylor Swift

What must it be like / To grow up that beautiful? / With your hair falling into place like dominos / ... / At dinner parties / I call you out on your contrarian shit / And the coastal town / We wandered 'round had never / Seen a love as pure as it / And then it fades into the gray of my day old tea / 'Cause you know it could never be

The Name Of The Game — ABBA

Your smile, and the sound of your voice / And the way you see through me / Got a feeling, you give me no choice / But it means a lot to me / So I wanna know / What's the name of the game?

Spectrum — Florence + The Machine

And when we come for you / We'll be dressed up all in blue / With the ocean in our arms / Kiss your eyes and kiss your palms / And when it's time to pray / We'll be dressed up all in grey / With metal on our tongues / And silver in our lungs / ... / And when we come back we'll be dressed in black / And you'll scream my name aloud / And we won't eat and we won't sleep / We'll drag bodies from the ground / So say my name / And every colour illuminates / And we are shining / And we'll never be afraid again

Dreamy Bruises — Sylvan Esso

How can we question / What we knows feels right / Black eyes turn to marigolds / In the morning light / Ohweeohweeoh kids move so slow / Shaken all over like some dogs at the pool / Ohweeohweeoh kids move so slow / They’re kicken all the records over acting like they hanging water / Ohweeohweeoh kids move so slow / Down in the basement where the sun don't show / Ohweeohweeoh kids movie so slow / Naked dollars wonder piles dreamy bruises rotten lovers / And they say I want you / To bend me back in two / To make me sing your tune / To make those words so smooth / Fill me like a song do

Wolf — Sylvan Esso

But no birds nor beast does he eat / He only wants the tenderest meat / And oh the sounds he makes them speak / Under all different patterns of sheets / ... / The modern wolf, the modern wolf / Drippin' in all the lives that he took / He'll go on home, try to wash them off / But when he shaves, he hears them call

Francis Forever — Mitski

On sunny days I go out walking / I end up on a tree-lined street / I look up at the gaps of sunlight / I miss you more than anything / I don't need the world to see / That I've been the best I can be, but / I don't think I could stand to be / Where you don't see me / And autumn comes when you're not yet done / With the summer passing by, but / I don't think I could stand to be / Where you don't see me

James — MGMT

James / If you need a friend / Come right over / Don't even knock / And I'll be home / The door is always open / And we both can say, "Who's laughing now?" / Oh, James / My little doll / You just go outside and you call / Oh, James / Oh, you're never too far off / If your fire's out / There's no need to shout / I'm always home / And walk on in / I'll make you tea and breakfast / And we both can say, "Who's laughing now?"

South London Forever — Florence + The Machine

I drive past the place that I was born / And the places that I used to drink / Young and drunk and stumbling in the street / Outside the Joiners Arm's like foals unsteady on their feet / With the art students and the boys in bands / High on E and holding hands with someone that I just met / I thought it doesn't get / Better than this / There can be nothing better than this / Better than this / And we climbed onto the roof, the museum / And someone made love in the glass / And I'd forgot my name / And the way back to my mother's house / With your black cool eyes and your bitten lips / The world is at your fingertips / It doesn't get better than this / What else could be better than this? / Oh, don't you know I have seen / I have seen the fields aflame / And everything I ever did / Was just another way to scream your name

Oh! You Pretty things — David Bowie

I think about a world to come / Where the books were found by the Golden ones / Written in pain, written in awe / By a puzzled man who questioned / What we work here for / All the strangers came today / And it looks as though they're here to stay / Oh You Pretty Things (Oh You Pretty Things) / Don't you know you're driving your / Mamas and Papas insane / Oh You Pretty Things (Oh You Pretty Things) / Don't you know you're driving your / Mamas and Papas insane / Let me make it plain / You gotta make way for the Homo Superior

Venus As A Boy — Björk

His wicked sense of humor / Suggests exciting sex / His fingers they focus on her and touches / He's Venus as a boy / ... / All across your lips, oh, then until / Well be that it's a little now, until / He believes in a beauty / He's Venus as a boy / He believes in a beauty and gentle

Winds Change — Orville Peck

Had a lover but I lost my patience / Gonna get a song on a radio station / Got a fire but you just can't use it / I don't mean no lies, baby, please don't lose it / Lost my way on the other side / I know why, I don't know when / From the way that we said goodbye / I knew I'd never see you again / Left my mind in the Salt Lake City / Met a lot of men who would call me pretty / Pack of reds, watch the days get colder / Don't it make you cry, how we're getting older?

Fluorescent Adolescent — Arctic Monkeys

Oh the boy's a slag / The best you ever had / The best you ever had is just a memory / And those dreams weren't as daft as they seem / Not as daft as they seem / My love, when you dream them up... / Flicking through a little book of sex tips / Remember when the boys were all electric? / Now when she's told she's gonna get it / I'm guessing that she'd rather just forget it / Clinging to not getting sentimental / Said she wasn't going but she went still / Likes her gentlemen not to be gentle / Was it a Mecca dauber or a betting pencil? / Oh the boy's a slag / The best you ever had / The best you ever had is just a memory / And those dreams weren't as daft as they seem / Not as daft as they seem / My love, when you dream them up / Falling about / You took a left off Last Laugh Lane / Just sounding it out / But you're not coming back again.

Cheerleader — St. Vincent

I've had good times / With some bad guys / I've told whole lies / With a half smile / Held your bare bones / With my clothes on / I've thrown rocks / Then hid both my arms / I've played dumb / When I knew better / Tried so hard / Just to be clever / I know honest thieves / I call family / I've seen America / With no clothes on / I don't know what I deserve / But for you I could work / Cause I don’t want to be a cheerleader no more

Queen Bitch — David Bowie

She's so swishy in her satin and tat / In her frock coat and bipperty-bopperty hat / Oh God, I could do better than that / Oh, yeah / She's an old-time ambassador / Of sweet talking, night walking games / Oh and she's known in the darkest clubs / For pushing ahead of the dames / If she says she can do it / Then she can do it, she don't make false claims / But she's a queen and such a queen / Such a laughter is sucked in their brains / Now she's leading him on / And she'll lay him right down / Yes, she's leading him on / And she'll lay him right down / But it could have been me / Yes, it could have been me

Boys Keep Swinging — David Bowie

Heaven loves ya / The clouds part for ya / Nothing stands in your way / When you're a boy / Clothes always fit ya / Life is a pop of the cherry / When you're a boy / When you're a boy / You can wear a uniform / When you're a boy / Other boys check you out / You get a girl / These are your favorite things / When you're a boy / Boys / Boys / Boys keep swinging

Caterpillars (Of The Common Wealth) — Will Connolly

You know you'll always be my valentine / Now swear to god that you will never tell / They're streaming every indiscretion live / For caterpillars of the commonwealth / Gotta go / You can stay / Make yourself at home / Gotta go / This campaign / Don't run itself you know / You've got potential little parasite / I tie your hands so i can wish you well / Cuz i'm a gentleman and you are like / A caterpillar of the commonwealth / Gotta go / I said no / You need to know your role / Gotta go / I said no / It's all under control

Imposters (Little By Little) — The Fratellis

You wear your mask, I'll wear mine / They don't come cheap, but they fit just fine / You can be her and I can be him / We can both sink when the rest all swim / ... / We can pretend that our fates were entwined / A beautiful lie is the beautiful kind / Everybody knows that the sun still sets / And everybody gives and everybody gets / ... / I could be the one that you just can't shake / Till you swear that your eyes go blind / We can disappear till the sun burns a hole / In the life that we left behind

Sweet Painted Lady — Elton John

I'm back on dry land once again / Opportunity awaits me like a rat in the drain / We're all hunting honey with money to burn / Just a short time to show you the tricks that we've learned / If the boys all behave themselves here / Well, there's pretty young ladies and beer in the rear / ... / Forget us we'll have gone very soon / Just forget we ever slept in your rooms / And we'll leave the smell of the sea in your beds / Where love's just a job and nothing is said

Super Trouper — ABBA

Super trouper beams are gonna blind me / But I won't feel blue / Like I always do / 'Cause somewhere in the crowd there's you / ... / So I'll be there when you arrive / The sight of you will prove to me I'm still alive / And when you take me in your arms / And hold me tight / I know it's gonna mean so much tonight

Babooshka — Kate Bush

She sent him scented letters / And he received them with a strange delight / Just like / His wife / But how she was before the tears / And how she was before the years flew by / And how she was when she was beautiful / She signed the letter / All yours...

Paris is Burning — St. Vincent

I write to give word the war is over / Send my cinders home to mother / They gave me a medal for my valor / Leaden trumpets spit the soot of power / They say, "I'm on your side / "When nobody is, 'cause nobody is / "Come sit right here and sleep / "While I slip poison in your ear" / We are waiting on a telegram / To give us news of the fall / I am sorry to report / Dear Paris is burning after all

Dream of Sheep — Kate Bush

Oh I'll wake up to any sound of engines / Every gull a seeking craft / I can't keep my eyes open / Wish I had my radio / I'd tune into some friendly voices / Talking 'bout stupid things / I can't be left to my imagination / Let me be weak, let me sleep and dream of sheep / Ooh, their breath is warm / And they smell like sleep / And they say they take me home / Like poppies, heavy with seed / They take me deeper and deeper

Hunger — Florence + The Machine

At seventeen, I started to starve myself / I thought that love was a kind of emptiness / And at least I understood then, the hunger I felt / And I didn't have to call it loneliness / ... / Tell me what you need, oh, you look so free / The way you use your body, baby, come on and work it for me / Don't let it get you down, you're the best thing I've seen / We never found the answer but we knew one thing / ... / And it's Friday night and it's kicking in / In that pink dress, they're gonna crucify me / Oh, and you in all your vibrant youth / How could anything bad ever happen to you? / You make a fool of death with your beauty, and for a moment / I forget to worry

[spencers-dria]

Do You Trust Me?

Someone To Stay Ch. 6

Spencer x fem reader

Y/N POV:

*whack*

You smack your alarm as it goes off for the third time this morning. You look at the clock: 7:15AM. Was it later than you get to sleep in for work? Sure. Did you want to get up this early on your day off? Nope. Between JJ being the planner and Penelope's excitement for the weekend, they had convinced the the group that it would be best to get an early start. It was a several hour drive the to the lake, and they wanted to make the most of our time there.

You roll out of bed and look in the mirror. Sweats and a spaghetti strap tank...this will have to do. You leave your hair in the messy bun that you slept in. Half asleep, you fumble around for some socks and slip on some sandals. A horrific choice you know, but we're going for comfort here, not fashion. It'll be fine. You're not trying to impress anyone, and you'll fix yourself up once you get to the lake. You fully intend to nap part of the way there. You don't even bother to grab breakfast. Instead, you grab your bags you packed the night before and head downstairs. Spencer is probably waiting on you already.

You see him pulling the car up, right on time, as you make your way down the stairs. You slide into the passenger side, setting your bag down in the back seat. Reaching into a road trip bag in your lap, you pull out a blanket and pillow and curl up in your seat.

"Good morning sleepyhead" he chuckles. "Not a morning person, huh?"

You grin. "What gave it away?"

He hands you a paper bag and a coffee cup.

"Don't worry, it's green tea and honey" he reassures you, sensing your hesitation.

"I also got you a bagel."

"I don't know who's been giving you trade secrets but food is really the number one way to win me over." You glance over to see a slight smirk on his face. "How are you so awake? You had time to get ready, grab food, drive to my apartment, and you still seem more awake than I do."

"I'm kind of used to not getting much sleep." He shrugs this off as if it's nothing. You sense he doesn't intend on explaining any further, so you decide not to push him.

"I brought some snacks too. You're welcome to anything you'd like." You pull out a some goldfish, fruit gummies, and Capri suns.

He responds with a laugh.

"Ok you have the appetite of a ten year old."

You feel embarrassed for a moment until you see the smile he's giving you.

"It's cute though."

You find yourself blushing, not used to compliments. "Yeah I guess sometimes I just like to let loose, let my inner child out. Not everything has to be so serious all the time, ya know? What we do, both of us...it's stressful stuff. Sometimes eating whatever the heck I feel like helps with that. If that means chocolate milk and cocoa crispies cereal for dinner then so be it!"

Spencer gives you another smile before holding his hand out. "Alright, you won me over. I'll take a Capri sun."

You can't help but laugh as you watch him try to insert the straw with one hand and drive with the other. After awhile you decide to help him out.

"Here, let me see that." You fix the straw and hand him back the drink. "Goober" you laugh as you rolls your eyes at him.

"So what all are you planning on doing at the lake this weekend?" He asks.

"The question is...what am I NOT going to do?"

"Ugh." He rolls his eyes and laughs. "No fair. You're athletic, coordinated. You can actually do all the fun stuff."

You turn to face him with an incredulous look on your face, jaw dropped. "You're kidding me right? Me? Athletic? That's funny!" You laugh shaking your head. "Nahh I'd say we're on a level playing field. I'm not coordinated at all! I just like go have fun, try adventurous things. Like kayaking, I'm just mediocre but I still love doing it. The only sport I ever did was swimming."

"Ha! You were a swimmer, we're going to a lake, and you think we're on a level playing field?"

"Ok fair enough" you concede. "Will you at least try something new this weekend? Please?" You bat your big brown eyes at him, a technique that rarely failed you.

He feigns a look of annoyance, before a smile finally starts teasing at the corner of his lips. "Alright, alright." He throws his hands up in surrender. "But only if you help me with whatever it is we do. A swimmer and a nurse, you're practically our lifeguard for the weekend. Don't let me drown, ok?" He teases.

"Well since you asked so nicely." You give him a playful punch in the arm as you both laugh.

After a brief moment of silence you hear Spencer speak up. "Did you know that Michael Phelps is the most decorated Olympian of all time, winning 28 medals in total, 23 of those being gold medals? He swam in his first Olympic Games at only 15 years old, and won his first gold medal at 19. And you...already knew this didn't you?" He stops when he sees your eyebrows raised, giving him a slight smirk.

"Yeah Spencer" you smile, shaking your head at him. "I don't mind though. I like hearing all the cool stuff you know."

You spend awhile listening to Spencer talk about everything from Olympic swimming facts to CPR statistics and the origin of the different swimming strokes. A lot of it you don't know already, and you enjoy learning all of this stuff from him. After awhile, you unintentionally drift off to sleep.

He looks over and smiles, he doesn't mind. This happens to him quite often, and the fact that you encouraged him to share his knowledge gives him comfort. He reaches over and pulls the blanket over your shoulders. Hoping to drown out the sound of the highway, he puts on some classical music at a low volume.

You wake up a couple hours later as you hear the loud sound of gravel under the tires.

"Morning sunshine" he grins at you.

"Oh I'm sorry! I wasn't going to make you drive the whole way."

"It's ok, you got your rest. Better you be rested up and have fun today than stay awake just to drive."

"Thanks Spencer." You smile to yourself. He really was very sweet. Good friends are hard to come by, especially ones you can trust that will stick around. You secretly hope that Spencer doesn't plan on dropping you as a friend anytime soon.

You climb out of the car and take a look around. You've arrived at a modest log cabin, sitting right on the edge of the lake. It's surrounded by y'all trees, so thick that you can't see any buildings anywhere else, if there are any. You stand there for a moment taking it all. You lean your head back and close your eyes, enjoying the sounds and smells of nature. It felt like home. You grab your bag out of the backseat and make your way along a dirt path toward the cabin. You stick yourself hand out by your side, brushing the leaves on the trees as you walk by.

"You really are in your element here, huh?" you hear Spencer call out from behind you.

"Oh you have no idea. Just wait till I get in the water" you shout back over your shoulder.

The two of you make your way into what appears to be the common living room. The cabin appears to be completely wooden everywhere, floors, ceilings, walls, beams. There's rustic decor and lots of plaid, but it's done tastefully. It feels so cozy, and you love it.

"Y/N! You made it! We're in here!" You see Penelope's head pop out of a doorway. You enter a room to find two sets of bunk beds. Penelope and Alex have taken bottom bunks. JJ has her stuff placed on the top bunk above Alex. You set your suitcase in an empty corner and throw your pillow on the bed above Penelope. You feel her sneak up and pull you into a tight hug. "Hey bunk buddy! This weekend is going to be so fun!"

"I'm surprised Penny, the outdoors don't seem like your type of weekend."

"Oh don't worry honey! I brought a float with coasters and a tray for the lake! I'll be sipping on wine and tanning all weekend."

"Just make sure to wear sunscreen okay." You give her a nudge and a smile.

"Okay Nurse Y/L/N." She rolls her eyes and laughs.

"Don't worry! I brought enough sunscreen for everyone."

"Haha, of course you did Aunt JJ."

You look over to see her unpacking her suitcase and organizing her things in the drawers and closets. You decide to do the same, that way it will be easier to find all your things later. After you've all finished unpacking, Alex says she's going to take a quick nap. After getting ready in your swim wear and coverups, you, Penelope, and JJ wander over to the guys room to see what they're up to.

You peek in to see Spencer reading on the bunk above Hotch, who appears to be on a FaceTime call with his son, Jack. Rossi isn't in the room. He's probably already started organizing things in the kitchen. Derek looks like he's ready for the lake, already in swim trunks and rubbing on sun tan lotion.

"You need any help with that, hot rod?" Penelope jests.

"You know it mama."

At this response, Penelope runs quickly across to room and helps Derek to finish rubbing in the suntan lotion on his back. She looks to be enjoying it a little too much.

You and JJ stay leaning in the doorway, laughing.

You finally speak up. "I don't know about y'all, but I've been stuck in a car all day! So if you need me, I'll be out at the lake!"

"I'm right behind, ya." JJ turns to follow you.

At this, Spencer finally pops up from behind his book. "Oh umm, we're going outside now? What are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet Spencer, come with us and we'll figure it out."

You wait on him while he changes into some swim trunks and a t shirt. He stands in the doorway a bit awkwardly, hesitant to leave the cabin.

"Come on!" You grab his hand pulling him out onto the porch and down toward the lake, following behind JJ, Penelope, and Derek.

When you get to the waters edge, you see the group has already spotted a rope swing. Derek appears to be climbing into a position to jump from. JJ stops him, to test the integrity of the rope first.

Penelope watches as Derek effortlessly climbs up the rocks. "My monkey man" she smirks.

Once JJ seems satisfied that the rope won't break, Derek swings out over the water, doing a back flip before making a splash in the water that sprays everyone watching from the shore. A chorus of groans rings out, half from annoyance at the show off, half from not wanting to get splashed.

You remove your shoes and your coverup as you prepare to get in the water. You can tell Spencer is making a conscious effort to avert his gaze. You blush, suddenly remembering the girls' previous comments about how good you looked in the slick back two piece.

You quickly make your way up the rocks and grab onto the rope as it swings back towards you. Spencer gives you a concerned look.

"Are you sure you want to do that? You could get hurt!" He shouts up at you.

Instead of answering you give him a quick smirk. You back up and get a running start for momentum, holding onto the rope as you swing out over the water. You let the momentum push you out as far as it will take you, as you angle your arms and body to dive deep into the water, just like you used to off the starting block in swimming. As you feel your body dive down into the water, you angle back up and do a quick, few dolphin kicks, propelling yourself much further from the shore. When you finally surface, you're about 20 or so meters from the shore. You see the group staring at where you dove into the water, confused and concerned.

"Over here guys!" You shout at the group to get their attention. They look up to see you much further away than they expected.

"Hey, you weren't kidding!" Spencer laughed.

"We might have to have ourselves a little competition little miss mermaid!" You laugh at Derek's new nickname for you.

You do a few strokes to bring you back to shore as you climb out of the water. You slick your hair back out of your eyes as you wring your hair out.

"Alright Spencer! Your turn!"

You giggle as you grab his hand and drag him towards the rocks.

"Umm yeah this is definitely not a good idea. You clearly know what you're doing, but I will definitely hurt myself. Did you know that drownings are the third leading cause of unintentional deaths?"

"Stop being such a party pooper! Loosen up a bit. Now climb." You cross your arms giving him a look that lets him know you mean business.

"If you fall, your knight in shining armor, Y/N will catch you!" Derek shouts from his spot where he's swimming in the lake. JJ and Penelope are watching from a float shaped like a giant unicorn. Typical Penny.

"Shut up, Derek!" Spencer shouts back at him.

You can tell that he's actually nervous, and not just unwilling to participate, so you decide to climb up after him.

"How about we go together?" You smile at him.

"Can we do that?" He asks, clearly not believing you.

"Yeah! See how there's a plank of wood on the bottom here? There's room for both of us to stand. And then we just hold onto the rope. We'll back up to get some momentum, then right when we get to the edge, we'll hop on the rope ok. But make sure to let go before it swings back towards the rocks."

The look he's giving you says he still doesn't think this will work.

You take his hand in yours, giving it a quick squeeze. "Do you trust me?"

You see the anxiety wash away as he's overcome by comfort. "Yeah, I do actually" he smiles, squeezing your hand back.

"On three okay? One...two...three!"

Before you know it, the two of you are landing in the water. You both come up for air as he starts a splash fight with you. You're both giggling and splashing like little kids, but having the time of your life. You feel water peg you in the back of the head. You turn around to see Hotch and Rossi armed with oversized water guns, peeking out from behind the trees on the shore.

"Hey that's not fair! We're unarmed!" You shout at the two men.

"Come join our team!" Rossi yells back. You and Spencer look at each other confused. You look up to see Alex carrying four water guns out to the water toward Derek, JJ, and Penny.

You and Spencer turn to each other, each with a huge grin. "Oh it's on!" You say.

"It's so on!" he replies before you both make your way onto shore as quickly as possible. Hotch and Rossi hand you each a weapon and the war commences.

After a long fight, the team in the lake finally surrenders. Your team is the clear winner.

"Winner's get dinner first!" Rossi shouts before the four of you make a mad dash for the cabin. You grab your towel, guessing that Alex had laid it out for you, as you see the other ladies' towels laid out as well well. Rossi had the dinner on warmers, so it's all ready for you. As the four of you take your plates full of food to the dining table outside, you pass your opponents. A series of snickers and goofy faces ensues as your team teases them endlessly.

You felt so comfortable around all of them. For people with such serious jobs, they sure do know how to let loose and have fun.

A/N:

I hope everyone is still enjoying it! I know it's a slow burn but it's so cute right 🥰I plan on picking up right where we left off! Please reblog or comment if you liked this chapter! I love hearing feedback!

[jslittlebirdie]

1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 9, 10, 12, 13, 17, 18, 22, 23, 26, 32, 36, 37, 39, 44, 47, 48 for the calm asks (I love these so much I wanna hear your answers❤️🥺 I hope you’re alright, darling, I’m sending lots of love your way!)

Rose, my dear💛💛 Thank you so very much for sending this in. I had a ton of fun answering the questions - these are all really sweet❤️ Omg, I love you so much, darling, and I hope you are looking after yourself!! I'm sending lots of love and positive vibes right back at you💖

1: Golden mornings or peachy sunsets?

I would say peachy sunsets, simply because I'm more of a night owl than an early bird😅 Also, sunsets (especially in summer) are just beautiful, how the setting sun bathes the sky in such wonderful warm colors and it then slowly gets dark and the first stars become visible. Simply gorgeous💛🧡

2: Sugar cones or waffle cones?

Hmm, I guess I'll go with waffle cones.

3: Do you wear scarves often? Do you have a favorite?

At the end of autumn and in winter I often wear scarves, especially loop scarves. My favorites are the ones my grandma and mom knitted for me. A long gray and incredibly fluffy scarf and a purple loop scarf🤍💜

5: Is there a food you’ve never had but always wanted to try?

I heard about jackfruits a while back and that they are supposed to be pretty good. Also, I find the name somehow quiet funny🤣 And I'm even going to try it sometime in the next few days because I found out that they sell jackfruit patties at a store near me. So I want to try and eat a homemade vegan burger.

6: What does your umbrella look like?

Depending on how hard it's raining, I switch between two different umbrellas - a big black one and a small, rather ugly one patterned in red, blue, brown, black and white. But I'm not really bothered about color and pattern anyway, because for some reason my umbrellas always break quickly😅🤣

9: What’s a little thing in life that you love?

I love to laugh. I love discovering new things and getting excited about them. I love spending time with my loved ones, but also just being alone to explore my thoughts and imaginations. And I am grateful for all the little things that make each of my days a little bit brighter❤️🥺

10: Favorite color aesthetic?

already answered

12:  Bright colorful living room or neutral cozy living room?

I would say neutral cozy living room. As I said in the previous question, I would rather use neutral colors (like white or a light wooden texture) for my furniture and then add a few color accents🤍💜

13: Do you have any candles? What scents are they?

Yes, I have some candles, but right now only one of them has a scent. It smells like a mix of raspberries, blackberries and blueberries. And it is purple💜

17: What’s your favorite season and favorite month in that season?

Even though the heat will probably kill me eventually, and my allergies, I still like summer😅 I like it when the days are long and you can spend a nice time outdoors, especially going for a swim. And I particularly like June and July.

18: Do you have a favorite pair of socks?

already answered

22: What’s an underrated video game/ movie/ show you love and think it needs more recognition?

I'm a huge nerd, so I could probably make a whole list here😅 But my all-time favorite show is "Lost." I know the show was pretty popular and hyped in the early 2000s, but has lost some of its popularity now (at least I hardly know any people who have seen the show). Also, I love the Disney movie "The Emperor's New Groove", that's just my all time feel-good movie, even if I've seen it a hundred times, I can still laugh about it - Kronk is just hilarious🤣 And for games, I say the "Batman: The Telltale Series." Ah, I love these games so much, especially because they went in a new direction with the character of the Joker - John Doe is simply adorable🥺🥺

23: Would you fill your house with plants if you had a green thumb?

If I had a green thumb, then yes. At the moment I have only one purple calla in my room. But my balcony is full of flowers lmao. This year I have grown two sunflowers, three strawberry plants, some peppers and lettuce plants, tomatoes and quite a lot of flowers. Only it's so hot on the balcony that unfortunately the plants burn quickly....

26: What would you do if someone gave you flowers?

I'd melt right then and there🥺💜 I admit I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic. I like bouquets and gifts that have meaning to them. Plus, I would most likely give a gift back to the person who gave me the flowers.

32: Do you like watching holiday movies?

There is one movie that I watch every Christmas and that is "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation". Even though the movie is pretty old, it's still somehow relatable and hasn't lost any of its charm. The Griswold family is just so beautifully chaotic😂😂

36: Do you like cobblestone streets?

Yes and no. I like the rustic and somehow domestic charm of it🥺 At my grandfather's place there are still many such streets. But I have also had bad experiences with cobblestone streets, because I tripped on a stone and fell down. I am way too clumsy🤣

37:  How often do you doodle?

I catch myself quite often that when I have lectures or seminars, I start scribbling random patterns, stick figures or smileys - I'm still listening to the lecturers, of course. Sometimes I even unconsciously start doodling J's face or the pattern of his shirt. Ahem, don't mind me being silly😅💜 Also, when I spontaneously come up with ideas for "real" drawings, I scribble them down on sticky notes or something so I don't forget them right away.

39: What’s your favorite random piece of decor in your house and room?

I would say my collection of different merchandise. I have collected quite a lot over the years; movies, books, comics, mugs, posters etc., but mostly Funko Pops. Right now I have 44 and my favorites are the Joker ones, especially my 10 inch J Funko Pop🥺💜

44: What type of bird do you hear most often outside your door?

Most of all I hear sparrows and blackbirds and I really love the song of blackbirds🥺💖 They usually sit in the grass or in the trees in the courtyard in the front and back of the building. I also often hear pigeons and crows.

47: Ideal temperature outside?

Not too warm and not too cold. So warm that I don't need to wear a jacket anymore. But not so hot that I am melting just by sitting on my bed or something. So I would say a little above 20°C (68°F), but please below 30°C (86°F).

48: Cloudy, partly cloudy, or clear skies?

I like partly cloudy skies the most. When it's nice weather, the sun is shining and every now and then there's a fleecy cloud in the sky. When I was a kid, I liked to look at clouds and their different shapes and imagine what they might look like. Ah yes, fond childhood memories🥺

questions from lovely calm asks to enjoy a nice up of tea to

[one-leaf-grimoire]

“illusion”

Chapter 12

Finally, another chapter!!!! I think you will enjoy this one 0.0

Warning: VERY SEXY CHAPTER. ORAL SEX. :)))

I've never slept a whole night with someone before. Lawrence never stays after he's gotten what he wants, leaving me alone to curl up in my misery. Of course, Alice and I have had sleepovers where we shared the bed, but not like... this. When I open my eyes the next morning, stirred by the singing of the earliest bird outside, it takes me a moment to remember why someone's arms are wrapped around me so tight, their legs tangled with mine, and their face buried into the back of my head. Once the memory fades into my drowsy mind, I can't help but smile.

Because, despite how I arguably embarrassed myself last night, Julius is still here, holding me tight as he snores away.

None of it really makes sense, at least not yet. To be perfectly honest, I didn't know Julius would actually... feel something for me. The most I was hoping for was a one-night-stand, fueled by that fleeting moment of hunger in the hallway. The way he looked at me then, I knew I could get at least that much. I didn't expect him to grab hold and not let go, to show genuine interest in me, not just my body. It's foreign... something Lawrence never wanted to give me. Yeah, he would hold my hand, he would fuck me, but he wouldn't cuddle me at all, much less like this. 

Part of me warns against hope. But everything else is telling me to hold on tight myself.

Despite the warm feelings that flood my chest at the thought, I can't just hang around here forever. I crane my neck (pretty difficult in this position) and see that it's nearly 7 am on the clock. Breakfast is at 7:30, so people will be walking around the base soon. I can't be seen coming out of Julius's room in just my nightgown! If someone sees me, they'll talk, and before I know it, Lawrence is going to be knocking at the door demanding an explanation! UGh- There's nothing more I want to do than snuggle back next to Julius and sleep the day away, but it's too risky. With a heavy heart, I start to try and remove myself from him.

Emphasis on "try." The moment I move, Julius's grip tightens and he silently curls up around me. It's almost suffocating at this point, like some snake wrapped around its prey! "Uh- Julius- I need to go-" I whisper meekly, not sure there's anything I can do. 

"...no you don't." Julius finally speaks, his voice still weighted with sleep. His leg slides over mine and hooks around, trapping me further. "Stay here... just a few more minutes."

It's not like I have a choice, but something tells me that I was looking for a reason to stay. "Alright, fine." I relax into his hold, and I feel him smile against my skin, satisfied that he's won this small battle. His grip loosens, as if he's melting, and for a brief moment in time, I melt, too.

...but... I still don't get it.

I feel his lips again, this time on my cheek, the light touches like a butterfly alighting upon me. I have to squeeze my eyes shut and hold in a giggle at the sensation, a movement he picks up on. Julius chuckles to himself, still sleepy, his lips trailing down my neck and leaving delicate kisses behind. "How did you sleep?" he finally mumbles, his thumb drawing small circles over the hand he's holding. "I hope I didn't snore to loud."

"No, it was nice," I whisper back, his voice somehow grounding me more in reality. "Your bed is so comfy."

"You can sleep here every night, if you want. For- er- safety reasons."

I let out a soft laugh, and I hear him join me. "Maybe... we'll see."

"We'll see-" he repeats, then lets out a sigh. It's almost... sad. "Sorry... it's been a while since I slept next to someone."

Huh? Really? I have to resist the urge to turn over and look at his face. That's surprising... Julius has a lot of admirers, it would be easy for him to invite someone into his bed. But maybe, he has the same problem I do... the only love I knew was the physical kind, a selfish, lustful love that left me drained and disoriented. I remember the way Elia and the other girls talk about him, and how I even looked at him... like he was a piece of meat ready to consume.

He's like me, isn't he? He's... lonely.

"...I'm sorry."

"Hmm? For what?"

Love... I don't know if I'm ready to even say that word. Somewhere deep inside, the feelings coming off of Julius make something very clear... the potency of this feeling almost scares me. And for whatever reason, I'm the one in his sights, but instead of it being an honor, it seems like a burden. I'm a lost cause, right? My perception of love is skewed, ruined. And I know, if I turn around and look in his eyes... I'll get lost in them. I'll drown, because when it comes to love... I just can't swim.

"...nothing."

........................................

"So??? How was it!!!?"

Alice is waiting for me by the time I sneak back to my own room, promising to see Julius again at breakfast. "Um... good?" I deflect the question before turning to my dresser. "It went like you would expect it..." In reality, it did not go at all how I expected it, but at least now I don't have to lie to Alice. 

"Awww, come ooooon~" Alice whines, rolling over to keep watching me. "Tell me the deets!!! 

Uh oh. I avert my eyes and focus on stripping down and pulling on my uniform. "Well... it was very nice. But more than that..." I pause my dressing for a moment, a little smile playing on my lips. "He was nice... I don't know, maybe it's just because I've been with an asshole all my life, but Julius..."

"Ewww, never mind, if you're going to start talking about love stuff!" I turn and give Alice a disgruntled look, which causes her to peel back off into laughter. "Kidding! I'm happy for you, really." She sits up and swings her legs off the bed. "So, do you have a plan? Like- with Lawrence?"

"Not yet... I have to keep it secret for now," I tell her, pulling my robe over my head. "So you keep your mouth shut, you hear?"

"Got it!" Alice smirks and gives me a faux-salute. "And you keep your mouth shut, too... I'm sure it's hard to keep quiet when he's inside you-"

"ALICE."

Despite that just being a little joke, something starts to worry me as we make our way down to breakfast together. I feel... guilty. I know I shouldn't, but I do. God! If only I had held it together last night, I would have actually gotten laid... by a guy who actually cares about me, too. My ears start to heat up at the mere thought of it, but it's accompanied by a pleasant hunger in my belly that's definitely not the result of it being mealtime. I'm sure he meant it when he said he was fine with just sleeping, and he definitely enjoyed cuddling... but... I wouldn't blame him if he were a bit frustrated. Julius is lonely... I feel like I deprived him of something he needed.

It's a ridiculous thought, Julius hasn't demanded anything from me. But still... I want to give it to him. I want to know what it feels like with someone I actually like. Have I missed my chance?

No... there's going to be many more chances. Even today. It's only morning, after all! I'm sure another chance will come up if I'm patient.

Spoiler alert: I'm not patient in the slightest.

"Good morning, you two! My, you're looking radiant."

I thought Alice would be the one I have to rein in when it comes to my secret, but as soon as Julius sees us, I realize that it's him. He's already sitting at the table, fork in hand, but it falls to the table when his eyes land on me, and a big dumb smile becomes plastered on his face. Uh oh... don't be obvious, Julius!!!! I gulp and give him a nervous smile, hoping that none of the others already here will pick up on all the tension. "Oh... thank you! You look pretty good... yourself?"

Alice is nearly drawing blood as she bites her lip, dragging me to sit down next to her at the table. Julius simply chuckles a little to himself and thankfully remains silent, although his eyes don't leave my face the whole time. 

"What's got you looking so happy this morning?" Elia finally slides into the seat next to me, sourly looking at my face. 

"Huh? Oh-" I shrug, quickly busying myself with my food. "I uh- just had a good time at the lake yesterday."

Elia obviously doesn't believe me but doesn't pursue the subject. "Fine. Keep your secrets."

"Hey girls!"

We look over to see Giles and Nigel walking in, plates piled high with food. Those two are unmatched in how much they can eat. "Hey losers-" Alice counters. "Where's Wren? He usually comes down with you."

"Apparently he got called to a meeting with the captain," Nigel snickers. "Sounded kind of serious... maybe he's in trouble!"

"That would be funny," Elia adds, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. "maybe he'll get kicked out."

"Or imprisoned!"

"Or exiled-"

More laughter comes from my friends, but I can't bear to join in. All I can do is smile weakly and eat, hoping that I'm wrong and one of them didn't drug me that night.

"Hey... look-" Alice grabs my shoulder, her voice hushed, and gestures casually down the table. More of the senior knights are here, but I know exactly who she's talking about. "Guess who hasn't stopped staring at you since we got here?"

Oh boy. Cautiously. I glance over and see that Julius is indeed staring at me, almost dazed-looking, his head tilted slightly as it rests on his hands. His food is going cold for sure by now, but... 

AhH! JULIUS!! Don't be so obvious... anyone looking at you right now will know something is up- His buddy Elger, who's sitting next to him, has noticed, and stares at Julius with a weird look on his face. I quickly look away before he can connect the dots, but it might already be too late. "Ignore him!"

Alice giggles. "My, you must have really rocked his world last night-"

"ALICE."

Even after the conversation moves on, I can feel those eyes burning into my skin. Butterflies swarm in my stomach, but at the core of it is excitement. It takes everything in me to not stare back at him, make bedroom eyes, and let him whisk me away somewhere private. Well... that's not such a bad idea...

I still want him. Even if I have the rest of the day ahead of me, I want him now. 

"Hey, where are you going?"

"To wash my dish! I'm not that hungry." I smooth out my cloak after I stand up, making sure to talk loud enough that the other end of the table can hear. "See you guys soon." With that, I turn and sashay off, fighting the urge to glance back at the table. All I can do is hope that this vague plan works...

But of course it does.

"Heyya."

As soon as I finish washing my dishes, Julius is already up and leaning against the kitchen doorframe, his usual smile on his face. "Oh, hi!" I greet, giving him a smile of my own. My pulse quickens as I struggle to move onto the next phase of my plan. Luckily, he does it for me.

"Want to go talk in private?"

"...yeah!"

And so, we head off upstairs, to his office. The entire walk there is filled with tension, so thick I could choke. I barely notice when he shuts the door behind us, I'm so lost in my thoughts. Now what? I'm not used to taking this type of initiative... oooh, what if he thinks I'm being to presumptuous? No, no,of course not... well-

"So... I've been thinking." Julius suddenly speaks before I can get my first word in. "We should start seriously sizing everyone up, and figure out who might be our culprits."

"...huh?" I blink, so lost in my self-made adrenaline that I can't immediately catch up.

Julius frowns. "You know? The ones who attacked you?"

"OH. Right!" I connect the dots and let out a nervous laugh. Get yourself together! Don't look like an idiot, at least... "Right, right, right... it's not fun to think about, but I suppose I have to."

"I'm sorry." Julius moves over to his desk and leans against it, his feet planted firmly on the ground. My eyes drift over his strong legs before quickly flickering away. Now that we're having an important conversation, I can't just derail it by jumping him right now... despite how delicious he looks. 

"Are you okay?"

Fuck! I just started going off into another daze. I jump a little as I feel his hand on my shoulder, and I blush a little as I let myself look up at his concerned face. "I know it's overwhelming, but I want to get to the bottom of this, okay?" I nod slowly, prompting him to lean in and press a sweet kiss to my forehead. I can't help but let a smile flicker on my face for a moment. "You know what you mean to me now... we can talk about this more later, though, okay?"

"...okay..." I lean forward and press my face into his chest, a gesture he accepts eagerly. The safe feeling of his arms around me threatens to make me melt right then and there, but then I realize that I have an opening.

"Julius?"

"Mhmm?"

"I was... uh... thinking."

"Thinking? Really?" I pinch his arm as he teases me with mock-disbelief. "About what?"

"...about..." I gulp, glad he can't see my face right now. "er... l-last night."

It's hardly noticeable, but I feel his grip shift at the words, just enough to make me realize that he's been thinking about it, too.

"Is that so?" His voice hasn't changed, still calm and comforting. "What about it?"

"You know..."

He finally gives me a real reaction, a soft laugh that I feel more than hear. "Right... I had a good time, you know."

A little pang of guilt hits me again. "Did you?"

"...yeah!" He suddenly pulls back to smile down at me, his narrowed eyes taking in my embarrassed face. "I always have a good time with you."

"Yeah, but- uh-" I feel a little frustration. I don't want him to think I'm so timid after last night! That was just a fluke! He's being so careful with me... I need to be more aggressive! 

"I mean it, don't worry." Julius's hand lands on my head and strokes it softly, which incidentally gives me an idea. "I thought I made it pretty clear... you're special to me, and even though I'd love to go farther with you, I want to go at a rate you're comfortable with- AH! W-what are you doing-?"

Julius cuts himself off, his voice wavering nervously as I suddenly kneel down in the middle of his little spiel. "I'm showing you that I'm perfectly fine with this rate- or whatever-" I tell him quickly, willing myself forward before I chicken out. I run my hands up his thighs, my heart skipping beats with every band of muscle I feel. "I mean... if you want me to?" I look up at him through my eyelashes, my lip pouting just slightly. I might be naive about a lot of things... but I know how to get what I want. 

The concern in Julius's eyes fades slightly, not quite disappearing all the way, but it's replaced by something else. Almost like curiosity... but more than anything, want.

"... go on."

I give him a little grin, finally letting my hands continue sliding up. Julius sucks in a little breath, for the most part silent as he stares down at me, his mouth twitching just slightly as I avoid his crotch and go for his belt instead. The anticipation is killing me, and it must be doing the same to him, but I will myself to be patient and make him so hungry for it, he can't resist. I want him to let go of his fear, and let himself pull me close, to let me in. He's a lonely man, and I want to help... in whatever way I can. And right now, this is how I do it.

"Here, let me help-"

Julius is quick to reach down and make quick work of the belt I was fumbling with, the zipper quickly following. Last night, I got to feel him up but couldn't actually get a look at him since I... passed out and all. But now, there's nowhere else to look as he pulls the front of his pants down and lets his already-stiff cock spring out at me. 

Oh shit-

It's bigger than I remember feeling last night, and I can't help but stare for a long moment, my mouth slightly open. I'm drooling, yeah, but it's also very intimidating. And it doesn't help when I feel that hand on the back of my head, pulling me in. "Take your time... but not too much time." Julius bites his lip and glances at the door. "We are in a shared office after all."

He's right, and I give a little nod before finally leaning in and letting my tongue dart out. Julius nearly spasms when I go right for the sensitive tip, sucking once before pulling off and kissing lightly around the spot. "Oh, you have a little technique?" he asks, his voice still steady.

"What did you expect?" I mumble back, fighting off a blush as I catch a glance of him staring at me. "I'm not innocent... not that innocent." To express my point, I lick up his length once deliberately, finally getting a reaction. I feel his knees wobble slightly, and his hand suddenly knots in my hair.

"Of course not... you'll be good and innocent for me, though, won't you?"

The words send a pleasant chill down my neck, the soft growl in his voice, stirring many forgotten emotions within me. This is nothing like it is with Lawrence. It's not so much a demand when Julius pushes me down onto his cock, softly moaning as I finally get to work some magic. It's... a plead. "Ah- y-ou're good that this-" Julius breathes out, his hand pushing me faster, more deliberately. He's coming undone, a lot quicker than he expected, and despite the way his cock chokes me and tears form at the corner of my eyes, I almost smile. This is what I wanted, for him to feel good because of something I'm doing. He only pauses once to sit down in his chair, his limbs weakening. I take the opportunity to pull myself off and smirk up at him, my cheek resting against his inner thigh while my hand teasingly strokes him. "Enjoying yourself?"

"What do you think?" Julius, despite being out of breath, flashes me a grin, his hand stroking down to my neck once. "Don't tell me you're getting tired." I shake my head quickly. "Good girl."

I lean back down to continue, this time his hand restricting my movements, slowing them. Despite saying that we needed to be quick, Julius is taking his time now, determined to milk me (or- er- himself-) for all I'm worth. I can't help but think about Lawrence in the moment, how he would react one day once I leave him to take the arm of my gorgeous vice captain. How indignant he would be, how enraged to find out that I willingly pleasured this man. Every aspect of this experience...

It's thrilling.

He starts poking into the back of my throat, and I whimper slightly at the foreign feeling, struggling to keep taking it. Despite how I was talking before, my stamina is terrible and I'm not sure if I'm going to hold on for much longer. "I'm almost there, baby, I promise-" Julius grunts out, one hand gripping the side of his desk while the other starts setting an unmerciful place. I just weakly whine in response, my throat starting to burn a bit. "You're being so good- I'm going to make you cum so fucking hard after this-" The promise makes another jolt of adrenaline go through me, the thought of him doing this to me quite exciting. "God- ah-"

Just as he starts to lose himself, something grabs his attention. Maybe it's a sixth sense, or maybe he was using his time magic to check ahead, but Julius freezes up before he reaches a climax. I blink my eyes open to see his own widening, a look of shock and fear on his face.

"Fuck-"

There's no time to hide. Just as the word leaves his mouth, the door swings open and the other vice captain Malota walks in. Julius lets out a squawk of surprise and nearly jumps in his seat in a vain attempt to react, but only manages to knock his knee super hard against the bottom of his desk. "YOUCH-" The shout leaves his mouth as he panics, disoriented, horny, and scared.

"Julius-"

The only good thing about this situation is that I'm hidden behind his desk, and from where Malota is standing right now, she can't see me. But still, she stops in her tracks at Julius's reaction, arching a thin brow as he does nothing but sit there and pant, slowly turning red.

"Julius... were you-" A look of slight disgust crosses her vulture-like features, and her eyes just glance down at the table, very aware of the presence behind it, before rising back up to her comrade's embarrassed face.

"You know what... I don't want to know."

Without another word, Malota swiftly turns around and races out of the room, her face becoming indifferent again. A moment later, the door slams shut, and the two of us are left alone once again.

"... "

Neither of us dare to move. Julius's eyes stay fixed on the door as Malota's footsteps fade away, before looking back down at me. He lets out a soft sigh, the corners of his mouth twitching at the sight of me staring up at him with his cock still in my mouth (it's not like I had time to move! And plus, the hand on my neck is heavy-). "That was... close."

He finally lets go, and I draw in a shaky breath as I sit up, my throat awfully dry after the recent abuse it just received. "S-she didn't see me, did she-"

"No, no, she didn't!" Julius assures me, glancing at the door again, his fingers deftly brushing the hair out of my face. "Malota wouldn't care anyway, don't worry." he gives me a reassuring smile before licking his lips a little. "So... are you-"

Wait, he wants me to continue? After we got walked in on?! I blink a few times, too aghast to say anything at the moment. Julius laughs sheepishly. "I mean, she's probably not coming back, right?"

"...right..."

Somehow, I find myself smiling once again. Julius mirrors it, his pulse quickening as he grabs the back of my head again. "I think we're going to get along famously."

Julius doesn't beat around the bush this time. He thrusts down my throat again and again, his hips raising just slightly to meet my lips each time, his hands guiding me at his pace. I handle it a lot better this time, feeling satisfied every time he moans under my touch. He doesn't say anything, but I know he's getting close by the way his movements become sloppy, and his cock twitches needily. I give him exactly what he wants, sucking hard for a few thrusts. And that's it- With one last pleasured sound, Julius pushes me down and cums, hard. I wasn't planning on spitting anything out, but I still gag a bit as his release hits my throat, hot and thick and almost too much for me to handle.

For a few blissful moments, he just sits there, tensed up with his eyes squeezed shut. Then, finally, he lets go of me.

Not completely, though. His hands gently take hold of my shoulders as I sit up and cough a little, taking a few deep breaths through my nose. I'm a little dizzy and can't really see through my blurry eyes, but I feel overwhelming satisfaction. I did it... Julius, you're mine, you hear! I want to make him feel like this, again and again, and for him to do the same to me. Maybe love is something I can't handle right now... but I can let myself be close to him.

Eventually... love will follow.

The sensation of his fingers on my face pulls me from my thoughts. Julius chuckles, worn out, and traces the corners of my lip with a fingertip. "You missed some-" he states, swiping up the remains of his cum and pushing his finger into my mouth. I whine a little at the movement but get my revenge by sucking once. Julius sucks in a breath and quickly removes the digit. "Ah ah- don't tease me, or I'll have to punish you~"

"Punish?" I repeat, reaching up and rubbing my eyes. When I blink them open again, I can see just fine, the blur of the passionate moment gone. "I thought I deserved a reward."

"Oh, that's right. Here-"

Before I can do anything, his hands close around my waist and hoist me up, so easily that it makes me squeak out in surprise. The moment he set me down on the desk, his lips are on mine, his arms holding me as close as can be. I eagerly kiss back, my sore jaw enjoying the respite, and reach up to cup his face with my hands. Julius pulls back just enough to look into my eyes, and the look of sparkling admiration in his own catches me off guard. "What?"

"Hmm?" Julius seems to almost be lost in thought. "Oh, it's just... I like you."

"...?" I frown a little. Isn't that obvious? "Well, that's good to know."

A little laugh comes from his nose, and his goofy smile widens. "No, I mean- Ah, you're full of surprises, and I like that... not just with this... kind of stuff, but also with- you know-" Julius's words are fumbled, almost incoherent He finally spares himself and cuts himself off with a shake of his head. "Never mind, don't listen to me, I'm just being an old sap."

Despite his sheepishness, I somehow understand what he was trying to say. With just a little difficulty, I lean up and kiss his forehead softly. "It's okay... I feel the same way, Julius."

"...I'm glad. Thank you."

With that, he buries himself back into my embrace, our lips moving so perfectly that it seems like they were made for each other. I close my eyes and start to get lost again, pure joy overtaking all logic and guilt in my mind. For a brief moment, Lawrence doesn't exist, my attacker doesn't exist, nothing does... nothing in this world matters but him. 

At least, just for that moment. Because the door slams open a minute later.

"Julius! Sorry to interrupt again, but-"

Both of us scream and whirl around, still holding each other, to see Malota run in again. For the first time, the emotion on her face seems real, the shock of seeing me, a girl engaged to a prince, being kissed by Julius. We sit there in silence for a moment, but then, in true Malota fashion, she sighs deeply, all emotion leaving her face.

"...I won't ask... but-" She straightens up. "We're leaving."

"Leaving?" Julius repeats nervously. I can feel his heart racing through his chest. "What's happening?"

"Apparently the Diamond Kingdom's been attacking the border since yesterday-" Malota explains, shocking us both. "But the Crimson Lion Kings were sent to handle it in secret. Now we're being called in."

We're being called in... wait... A jolt of fear shoots through me. That means... the Crimson Lions failed! The Diamond Kingdom beat them?!

"I see- the whole squad is going?"

"Yes. Our briefing is in 2 minutes." We can hear footsteps all around the base now, thundering urgently in the rush to get ready. "Be down there beforehand."

"Right." Julius's face is stony now, but flinches slightly as Malota turns to leave again. "Er- Malota- about this-"

"Don't worry. I don't care anyway-" Malota assures him before disappearing once again.

With a deep sigh, Julius lets go of me, helping me get off the desk. "I'm sorry," he apologizes, still looking pale. "She saw us- I should have been more careful."

"Maybe... but we have a bigger problem now." That familiar pre-battle feeling is already coursing through my veins. Trying to ignore the dread balling up inside me, I reach down and take his hand one last time. 

The Diamond Kingdom...

Maybe, for a moment, the world didn't exist. But now, it's crashing down on all of us.