#But in the year of our lord 2022 I am trying to love myself

[suchagallabitch]

🫵weekly wednesday tag 🫵

omg I (simple old me?) have been bestowed upon the honour of coming up with these questions??? i would like to thank the academy for this most sacred honour 😋

1. if you could switch bodies with anybody for only one hour who would it be and what would you do? I think I gotta say taylor swift OBVI. first off im gonna dropping ME! acoustic version. Then I’m gonna hope lover deluxe is already recorded, drop that. If not i will make sure to text Jack and tell him that we need to record it so that i get it either way 😼. Then I would find out the definite truth of what happened between her and Karlie Kloss. I’d wire myself (as in me- me) a few million dollars, pet the cats and then post something really random on her instagram story. Literally want to make the public go absolutely bananas trying to figure out why taylor posted a random twitter meme. I have a lot of faith to believe this could all happen in an hour but I would try. SO hard.

2. whats your most trivial / dumbest hot take?I don’t think we should still be discovering animals. like what do you mean in the year of our lord 2023 we are STILL finding animals?? no they should all be discovered and if they havent been then i think they should stay undiscovered.

3. if you had to teach a college course what would it be in? I feel like we’re all expecting me to say something Taylor related but honestly I could teach a masterclass on the psychology of Ryan Murphy. I hate that man and i have so much to say about him and his productions

4. season 12 of shameless is suddenly happen and youve been put in charge! what plot point(s) are you gonna make happen? I cant think of anything substantial to actually contribute but i want Carl Gallagher to have a fruity little vape. I also want to see him quit the force and flourish in a new job!

5. who would be your godly parent? (can be any mythology). I’m gonna go with greeks as a Percy Jackson stan. I asked my bsf who is an expert in greek mythology. She said: “you’re a Aphrodite child cuz you’re a hopeless romantic and you appreciate beauty. You’re very particular in how you’re viewed and how everything you produce is viewed (what you write, how your feed looks like, etc.)” - I’m gonna have to agree with her on Aphrodite

6. what’s something you love about yourself? I think i’m so very very funny

7. describe your day in 5 emojis: 😴👁️👩‍💻✈️☕️

8. what shameless character do you think you could beat in a fight? Realistically i think the ONLY person i could beat in a fight is Liam and honest to god im not even sure i could.

9. tell us 2 truths and a lie, we’ll try to guess the lie!

- I’m double jointed

- I sleep on the left side of the bed

- I’ve never had pumpkin pie

10. do you have a pet(s). if so how did they get their name? I do! my son (cat) is named Chidi after the good place!

11. show us a meme (or picture) that captures your essence

self explanatory.

12. whats your typical coffee / tea / beverage order? see i gotta have a special lil drinky drink everyday and i mean my little drinky drinks are free so i am likw 80% gingerbread chai at any given time. Alternatively, an iced chestnut praline latte w/ praline cold foam.

13. use a song to describe the last 5 years of your life?

2019- its nice to have a friend- taylor swift

2020- ribs - lorde

2021- nothing new - taylor swift

2022- first love / late spring- mitski OR orlando- leith ross

2023- true blue - boygenuis OR now that we don’t talk - taylor swift.

Thank you friends thats all i got :)

I Tag: @deedala @darlingian @michellemisfit @mybrainismelted @too-schoolforcool @gallawitchxx @gardenerian @sam-loves-seb @thisdivorce @xninetiestrendx @scarcrosseduntouched @juliakayyy @y0itsbri @grumble-fish @grumpymickmilk @transmickey @surviving-maybe @metalheadmickey @heymrspatel @auds-and-evens @deathclassic @flamingbluepanda @crossmydna @sleepyfacetoughguy @vintagelacerosette @depressedstressedlemonzest @thepupperino @squidyyy23 @energievie 🫶🫶

[astorinx-writes]

Describing and Reflecting On My (Almost) 11 Years As An AB Fan

Like most times in my life, I find myself lost in thought about the many things that make me who I am. All the special interests I’ve picked up over the years, many of which have come and gone. But at least one of them has stayed: my ever present love for Astro Boy. So, I thought, as I turn a year older, I would talk a bit about what’s brought me here today as an AB fan, and get a little introspective.

It’s funny when I mention my beginnings as a fan because I wasn’t initially much of a fan at all. I remember coming off the heels of what was arguably the most confusing time of my life: my parent's divorce, and being relegated to only seeing my dad a couple of times a week. In October, one of those days was spent heading to the local movie theater to watch the 2009 movie. Before this, I had no exposure to AB. But if my memory serves me right, I think our whole reason for going had more to do with my dad’s nostalgia for (presumably) the 80s series than anything else.

Again, there wasn’t anything that stood out to me in particular about the film. But I should say for the record, if you read my first-ever blog post here wherein I reviewed the 09 movie, you’ll know it’s grown on me quite a bit. Not to the point where I would ever consider it a favorite of mines, but certainly enough to respect it for what it was, and what it served in my journey as an AB fan. No matter what I think about the film now, or what I thought about it back then, it was truly at the time my only exposure to the franchise.

So, I leave the film and think it’s okay, I move on with my life and sink my teeth in other things. But my brother, on the other hand, seems to like this far more than I probably thought I ever would. I mean the amount of AB merch that had come out at the time! You had the toys at McDonald’s, I believe some toys at Toys-R-Us… I mean the movie bombed, don’t get me wrong, but for a split second, I was seeing AB everywhere in my house, and it was a nonstop talking point between us and my dad. I have to give him credit, though, if it weren’t for his persistence in finding out more about the franchise, I might’ve just shrugged at the movie and called it a day. But sadly, when I say “he found out more about the franchise” I really mean is “he saw YTPs of the 80s series on YouTube.”

Speaking of the 80s series, this is actually where his door closes, and mines opens up just ever so slightly to test the waters. I can’t say exactly how it all panned out because my memory is far too spotty for that. But, to make a long story short, I found myself curious about the AB world again and, after having seen the 80s series, I wanted to give it another try. Now, at the time, there wasn’t really any “way” in and of itself to watch the 80s series, unless you owned physical media. It was a weird time because streaming was in this sort of infancy stage where nobody pirated anything because Netflix was king. But if you wanted anime… well… you’d have to watch every episode in 3 parts on YouTube like everyone else, bud.

Funny enough, during that endeavor, I managed to watch just about every 80s episode, and I have not seen the 80s series since. I’m not sure when I’m going to break the streak and rewatch it, but I see it as more of an internal joke that I perpetually keep up for the lolz. At the time, though, my reasoning for not going back was actually because the channel I was watching from got taken down, and nobody else seemed to have an archive. Certainly though in the year of our lord 2022, where even the 60s series can be watched on streaming services, I think I’m just purposely skipping out.

That was back in 2012, a year later, I had an exposure to something a little different. You see at the time, I was in 6th grade, and I had a homeroom teacher who was a stickler for us reading during homeroom time. Now, when I was younger, I did read a lot, but by 6th grade I had mostly stopped (probably due to IRL stuff, but who knows?). So, I was basically relegated to reading almost anything from way back when that I could get my hands on at home. In comes my local library to the rescue! When I went over there for the first time, I was curious as to what the odds would be that any Manga volume was there. And luck be damned, I found a couple at the last minute. Now, I didn’t want to completely suck them dry of their manga supply, so I only checked out 2. But I soon realized that was a bad idea, since it turned out that I read graphic novels at lightning speed. I finished both of them rather quickly and had to read them over and over again for both homeroom and during P.E. attendance for a few weeks.

Briefly, I’ll talk about how I got into the 03 series. Initially, the 03 series was available on Netflix, and despite my initial thoughts on its art style, I decided to give it a try. Again, I wasn’t thinking too much of it at the time, but after the 2nd re-watch, I was sold. And when I mean sold, I mean I dropped every other rendition for that one. I also mean when I refer to or speak of anything AB related, I am 10 times out of 10 talking about the 03 English dub, and nothing else (except any of my fan fics or AUs). Nowadays, though, when I want to watch the 03 series, I have the dubbed version on DVDs that I’ve backed up digitally onto an external drive, so I just plug the drive in and go from there. This is also where I get all my screenshots for edits, and for my screenshot archive.

You’ll notice that for the most part, I’ve been talking about more IRL events rather than online stuff. And that’s mostly because me becoming the AB fan I am today didn’t really kick into gear until around 2015/2016-ish when I joined Tumblr. But before that, I did something a little similar… I wrote fan fiction. Or rather, my now partner and I did. But before she jumped on board, it was just me. Again, with no one to look after me or express any concern, I found myself on FFN reading… well… let’s just say… things someone at the age of 12… probably shouldn’t have. I read plenty of problematic works by problematic writers, and it inspired me to want to give it a try myself. After all, I did like writing— though like reading, I did give it up. I think at that point; however, I was so enamored and inspired, I let it all go and just jumped right into it.

The first fic I wrote, “Zoran vs. Uran,” served (technically) as the starting point to what would become my fan fic series Vivid Insomnia. But at the time was an arguably silly fic that never got finished because even past Sage knew it was horrible. The basic premise was based on the fact that in the 03 dub, Uran’s name was changed to Zoran, but I thought it would be interesting to write a fic in which Uran and Zoran are 2 separate characters. So, the plot basically surrounds Tenma creating Zoran and sending her off to live with O’shay. It was called “Zoran vs. Uran” (simply) because the “major bombshell” to be revealed was that Zoran and Astro are related (a shocker, I know /s). So, apparently Astro was supposed to finally gave a shit about her, which pisses Uran off and makes her incredibly jealous (something we can all relate to, I’m sure /s). Therefore, as a result, Uran and Zoran were gonna duke it out WWE style.

I legitimately have no words.

I’ll spare you all the tiny details, and move on to the short stories I did. After attempting to write a couple of fics and letting my anxiety consume me, I took a break from writing for a while, but found a way back in through writing short stories. Again, if V.I. was clay, then these short stories were helping it be molded into the shape it was set to become. Some of this information does overlap with my last post, so if you would like to learn more about the fan fictions I’ve written, you can check that out. The only thing you need to know is that after those short stories, I wrote my first long fiction in a while, called “Astro, Oh Astro, Where Did You Go?” It was by far my most em tonally gruesome fic at the time. It really paved the way for where I wanted to take V.I. and I think ultimately made me realize that I like writing about the emotional and mental perils of life, and what it takes to dig oneself out.

The entire premise was that after sleeping over at a friend's house, Astro decides to run away, leaving everyone to wonder where they went. By modern standards, this fic is a hot steaming plate of garbage, but at the time it was (again) the deepest thing I had ever written. Mostly with Astro’s portrayal-—I know many associate them with being childish and happy-go-lucky, and I do still agree with that sentiment. But during that fic, and certainly now, I find myself seeing them as a much sadder character. I won’t get into why exactly right now, so we’ll leave it at that. But in this fic, it should be noted that Astro’s entire persona surrounded how utterly depressed they were.

Moving on from fan fictions, I’m a freshman in high school who just left Google + because Tumblr lets you customize your desktop blog, and G+ doesn’t. This is also around the time that I had given up on my dream of being an animator because I would’ve honestly rather shot myself in the foot than do any sort of sketchbook doodle ever. You’ll notice I haven’t spoken about any fan art  I’ve done, and that’s mostly because I feel it would be pointless, since it didn’t lead to anything but heartache and irrational anger on my part. Instead, I decided to be a graphic designer because at the time, I liked downloading fonts from dafont.com and making fan works for Vivid Insomnia in a way that didn't involve drawing. Funny how everything that makes me a modern-day AB fan comes back more to V.I. than anything else… haha.

So with my Shadows Into The Light II, and Bebas Neue, I slapped the worlds #edgiest quotes (or song lyrics!) onto 03 series screenshots in Photoshop. And that’s basically how my design hobby (as it pertains to AB) started. I dabbled in other mediums, like videos and GIFs, but I would wager that today, design is my strongest suit, and it’s what I do the most of.

Years went by, I wrote more, designed more, started uploading videos a tiny bit more. And since I want to keep this post lighthearted and less focused on psychoanalyzing myself, we're going to skip over the many times I said something stupid and let my jealousy and low emotional intelligence get the best of me. Let’s just say… I learned a bit more about my place as a fan in this fandom, and also how not to interact with people, basically.

By the time I graduated from high school, I was ready to move on from this fandom, actually. Impostor syndrome ever so fragrant, I thought “AB isn’t serious?! I need to be serious now! I’m a real designer!” So, I gave it up for exactly a couple of months before I went back to my shipping retro bullshit, and before I knew it, I was essentially back where I started: An Astro Boy Fan on Tungle Dot Org. It was at this point though that I realized, if I wasn’t going to quit being in the AB fandom, the least I can do is polish myself up a bit. I haven’t mentioned any of my past usernames, but when this was all happening, I was Astro.png- a name I made as an inside joke because I export all of my static designs as PNGs. When I decided to “get serious”, I changed my name to Astorinx (yes, ASTORinx, not ASTROrinx, common mistake, I understand). This coincided with the change of my main design brand to Thylio Design, and also a personal change of name too (don’t you just love when your personal branding finally catches up to your gender changes too?)

Here, to close this out, I can finally touch on my “Astro is a sad character” point I was making earlier. Originally, when I switched to being Astorinx, I hadn’t intended for the blog to take a mental health/psychology skew topic wise. You’ll notice a lot of my works throughout the years have mostly been observational. I am simply making works based on how I interpret Astro’s character. But even then, as I look back, I realize that even then, my works weren’t taking place within canon. Rather, they were post canon. Because I’ve always found myself to think and believe that while Astro canonically was quite happy-go-lucky, their circumstances and life events told an entirely different story. No matter what you assume, at some point, you’re bound to realize that those events and whatnot, are going to catch up to them. I think in my personal quest to learn more about myself through the world of psychology, it has led me to look into the minds of some of these characters to ask an ample number of questions: What does it look like when this character is at their best? What does it take to get there? Or what about their worst— where are their faults, and why?

As time went on, I started to embrace a story line that was beginning to come about in my works, most exemplified by my “I Need To Forgive My Inner Child And Tell Them It’s Okay” piece. The story is this: Astro is an older and wiser adult whom, after going through and making great strides in therapy, looks back at the actions/thoughts/feelings of their younger self. Contrary to feeling regret, anger, or embarrassment for whom they once were, they look at their younger self with an immense sense of compassion. Like a warm blanket on a frigid night, they give their younger self a hug and say, “It’s okay. I totally get you, and I wish you well.”

Though not all of my works fit this narrative, especially when I make designs for characters besides Astro, for the most part, you can assume in some way, shape, or form, it’s relevant. What I’ve also realized, too, is that there’s a lot of people who find solace in my designs messaging. I recently even got asked to do a design supporting neurodivergency! While I will never claim to be a psych or mental health expert in any way unless or until I get an actual degree, it does make me happy that people are taking to my works in such a way. Over the years, I’ve become such a proponent for seeing people be the best version of themselves as possible. And while I wasn’t initially intending for my posts to be for the masses (thematically speaking), I’m glad Astro’s introspection's about who they were canonically have helped others do some reflecting of their own.

So, that’s now, but what’s next? Well, as I mentioned in my fan fiction post, I still have a lot more to write. And of course, I will always have plenty to design, even if there are considerable breaks in between due to burnout. In terms of videos, I have a few AMV ideas cooking currently, it’s just a matter of when I’m going to shake off the nerves and get started on them. I also still plan to run the AstroBoyFanWorks blog and its Discord server companion for as long as possible. I think when I look back at just how long it’s been- I mean 11 years is so wild! It’s almost unbelievable! But, I find myself in a place where I’m just happy to be here. I could go on and lament about so many things, but the truth of the matter is that after this many years, you either shit or get off the pot, as they say. You don’t second guess, you don’t make assumptions, you decide: Am I going to stick around for at least another year? And personally, I think yes.

[alicebnnuy]

OK I'M JUST GONNA RANT A LITTLE BIT BARE WITH ME

So TLDR, I miss the old Hot Topic, and I want to open a store like it. As I said, bare with me because this post is about to get LOOOONG! And it's also gonna be a lot of ADHD rambling so like, I'm sorry if this get confusing!

I'm from the province of Quebec, Canada, so we never had Hot Topics in my town. (I think due to some whatever Law 101 about French and stuff, dunno).

But we did have HMV at my local mall, and for a few, it was similar to hot topics. By that I mean, it was a store my cousin loved going to with her scene kid friends, but I was too scared to even approach as I was my parents' "little good kid" (and preferred EB Games)

Now of course, we've all seen the memes of scene kids and Hot Topic, it's easy to make fun of them because everyone and their mom does it!

But that's exactly what I miss!

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a scene kid. I asked my best friend to tell me if I ever become one so I can stop myself. If anything, I'm an emo kid. I prefer saying I'm goth punk, yami kawaii, etc etc. I'm also an adult so...

We may not have had any Hot Topic in Quebec, but I did visit their website recently, and I was shocked to see almost none of the things that everyone makes fun of. It's now filled with trendy pop culture stuff. Which I mean, it makes sense, that's what they wanted to be from the start.

But imagine my disappointment as I go into this expecting to find a lot of goth, emo, scene kid, dark stuff!

And I find only... Stuff that I can find at any other pop music inspired stores?!

Ok side note. I am transgender. I never felt like I ever passed through puberty (of course, I did, everyone does) and the "It's not a phase mom!" phase. As of November 29th 2022, I will have been on HRT for a whole year, and I feel like I'm barely starting true puberty, like my emotions are all over the place, I feel less scared to make mistakes, I have lots of terrible ideas and want to do them even if I know they're bad ideas, etc.

So after I came out as trans, I thought "well I have to be a girl now. I have to wear dresses and makeup and be pretty, etc." And yes, I do want to be pretty and all that still, but I also wanna be cool, dark, edgy, etc. I want to be what my cousin was when she was a teen. I am 22 but feel like I'm 13.

So I saw this tweet the other day...

And this awakened something in me. This tweet is 100% who I was as a kid. I would be terrified to go in there as a child. But imagining being friends with a scene kid and them asking me to come in with them and holding hands because I'm too scared, THIS! This is what's been missing in my life ALL OF MY LIFE!

I spent my entire life being too scared of everything, trying my best to make my parents proud, please as many people as I can, etc. But I now hate my father, and I like my mother less then I did as a kid because she always excuses his actions. I needed what Hot Topic was, but I never had it, nor did I have any emo/scene kid/goth friends to help me break out of this pressuring mold that I had made myself.

So I thought the other day "I wonder if I could open a Hot Topic in my town?", but that was before I realized that Hot Topic isn't what it used to be. And while, yes I would visit it nowadays still, knowing what it once was, I would be sad everytime.

Now, why would me, a 22 years old trans girl artist who doesn't know what she wants to do with her life, be talking about Hot Topic in a long rant post on Tumblr in the year of our lord 2022?

Because I want the old Hot Topic back! Well, I don't want them to change back to what they were, it's a corporation and they'll do what's best for benefits no matter what the peoplr say.

What I truly want is a store that's just like what Hot Topic used to be! A haven for all the scene kids, emo teens, goth kids to shop and feel at home even for just a few minutes. Some place dark that parents will warn their children about but has a very cool atmosphere once you enter that world!

I looked quickly, and I'm not sure I was able to find any store that is exactly what Hot Topic used to be. So my next thought was:

Make your own!

It seems so obvious now! If you can't find the store you want, do it yourself!

I work at a grocery store as just a simple cashier, but when I got there, we were so understaffed that we were missing even a manager. So while we were going through new managers after new managers, many of them wouldn't do all the work they were supposed to do, so I became a "supervisor", although not officially. The boss never asked me to, but I just started doing part of the work of one one day and now other cashiers come to me with questions they would usually ask supervisors, I take care of writing everyone's break whenever the break sheet is empty, etc. I realized that I also enjoy doing that? Paperwork is fun to me somehow.

I also have infographic experience since I an going to school for cinema/televisual preprod, prod and post-prod, and infographics are a huge part of it.

That plus, I also am an artist, and I love listening to people.

So I already have lots of skills that would help woth running a small store, and as I always wanted to leave my mark on a small demographic, I feel like this would be perfect for me!

The main problem is that opening a store is very hard unless you are already rich, or sponsored. Sure you can get a loan, but those are crippling for years.

Another problem is well... Everything else. I have no idea how to run an actual store, how to get items to sell, how to get a location, etc. etc.

So yeah, that's just me ranting. If you wanna join me and have skills and/or money, hmu! /hj

For real tho, my brain is just a mess lol

[oh-my-front-door]

I posted 321 times in 2022

That's 321 more posts than 2021!

25 posts created (8%)

296 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@oh-my-front-door

@powerofelvis

@bisexualwvtson

@burninlovebutler

@troubleinapinksuit

I tagged 95 of my posts in 2022

#austin butler elvis - 19 posts

#austin butler - 15 posts

#elvis - 12 posts

#elvis movie 2022 - 8 posts

#elvis 2022 - 5 posts

#spotify wrapped - 5 posts

#elvis the pelvis - 4 posts

#help - 3 posts

#love the energy - 2 posts

#this is everything - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 81 characters

#i just call it 'pot' because that's what everyone screams at you when make a bet

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hey hey hey

here's just a bit of what i'm working on:

'I fiddled with a pen while my head rested in my right hand, waiting for a customer to come through the door. I had eventually zoned out because, I almost fell off the stool i was using, when the door bell went off. Trying to steady both my body and my mildly racing heart, I check to see who may may have startled me like that. I became more startled seeing who exactly came in causing this slight commotion on my end. It was blue eyes. He looked just as last as the last time, if not more. His hair was mostly slicked back but one tiny little piece fighting to fall forward. Same beige slacks but this time... My lord- this time, He had a black lace button up with most of them undone. It left his bare chest beneath the shirt in almost full view. "Nothing for the imaginatioin, eh" i almost muttered aloud while trying to steady my heaving breath. "why'd you scare me like that? i just 'bout fell off my chair, thanks to you." He leaned over the counter on forearms. "Nothing like hello huh" he cracked a smile. I paused trying not to stare at his bare torso staring me back dead in the face. His smile grew a bit wider as he leaned over a bit more, enough that our noses barely touched. I let out a soft 'yes' which may have come off as a moan. "uh..." fumbling over his words, "c-can we talk?" I nodded still trying to avoid his deliciously tempting form. I peered over his shoulder to see who was available to cover the front. Luckily both Meilin and Christina (one of the trainees from the Philipines) were heading towards the desk with trays in tow.'

I haven't quite came up with a name yet. If anyone has some critics/suggestions please i would greatly appreciate it. This my first time writing fictioin since highschool and that was almost ten years ago! So mind you I am super rusty but, it's like riding a bike, right? It's a skill you never really lose.

Anywho, i really want to do moodboards, playlists and such. Does anyone know any user friendly programs for that?

Anyhow, I almost have enough for a chapter. just a bit more and Voila! also, i haven't decided on chapters or parts... Right now i'm just trying to make myself coherent.

4 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

#4

I'm stuck at home tomorrow prepping. I gotta get a colonoscopy done Monday. Can anyone recommend me some good reads? Or even blogs to spam. I'll tag my interests down below.

Bless you all in advance!

4 notes - Posted September 17, 2022

#3

Gobble Gobble

hello hello everyone! I hope everyone is having a wonderful week so far and to my American friends, "Happy turkey day". I might be going to Golden Corral on thursday with Mum. We're playing it by ear.

Universal has been a blast but, also highly overwhelming. My autistic ass hasn't stopped "processing" in three days and with my mum being disabled and using a scooter..... it's like tending to evil kinevil and a toddler all at the same time. I highly recommend having some good coping mechanisms when you want the best experience possible. Theme parks are fun but, triggering. wether we like it or not. There is so so so much to take in and the crowds. Like, I'm not overly great with crowds and when people touch me, i get the heeby geebies. Though it hasn't bothered me much because i'm distracted from the attractions.

Even so.....

I've enjoyed myself. I've gotten to fulfill some interests i've had for a while now. And One thing that has helped me alot; is to make lists. Wether it's mental or physical. It keeps me on track of what i do want and what i don't what out of this trip. Then, when my list is done... I've been considering what can be done each day. Also, my mum has been really quite accomadating with me. Even when she's sped up past me asking if she's going to fast. Meanwhile, i'm jogging beside like it's a marathon. I thought at point we were going to get kicked out the stores. She decided to zoom around the stores and took out a couple of displays. fun.

DON'T WHY I TOLD YOU ALL THIS BUT.....

I hoping to get some writing done. I can't focus with all the excitement. oh well... but..... It has given me some great ideas for scenarios with Austin. They're gonna be so cute! Can't wait to get home and jot them down!

I hope everyone has a good rest of the week! Stay happy, Healthy and safe!

4 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

#2

Watch "Fever - Elvis Presley, Michael Bublé & The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra" on YouTube

@jupiteraart you're welcome

8 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

All I want in life is for Austin Butler/Elvis to spank me and tell me what a dirty girl I've been. Is that too much to ask?

12 notes - Posted November 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

Ha! I've put a new meaning on my own number 1 fan

[dailyaudiobiblechronological]

10/23/2022 DAB Chronological Transcription

John 7-8

Welcome to Daily Audio Bible Chronological. I'm Jill. Today is the 23rd day of October. Can you even believe it? I can hardly even believe it. Seriously, feels like we just got here. And I think unfortunately, this is what happens well, when you get older and it also happens at the end of the year. It's just like when you come back from the summer head towards Christmas time. Seems like it just goes at a thousand miles a minute. So let's just take a minute, take a deep breath. We acknowledge it's going by fast and we're going to intentionally slow our life down right here and right now as we just take a deep breath. Exhale and let go all of the scurry and the busyness of life and just come here to intentionally center ourselves around the scriptures and allow God to say. To speak and to do what it is that you would like to in us. Through us. Among us. Through His Word. Today we are reading John, chapters seven and eight, one of my all time favorite stories in the reading today. And we're starting a brand new translation as it is a brand new week around here as we're starting this week off. And this week we will be in the New Living translation.

Prayer:

Father, we thank you for your word today. We thank you at the beginning of this week for the reminder of this woman who was caught in adultery and brought before the religious in your presence how you rescued her, how you saved her by pricking the hearts of those present. And when everybody left, one by one. You stayed and you ministered to her when nobody else would. I hear that. And I hear and I feel the hope within me rise, that you are present for every single one of us. Nothing, nothing in our past, nothing that. we’ve done is too shameful for you to stay and be with us. Minister to our hearts and I pray that you would do that even here and now for those of us who have been involved in things so shameful that people have walked away from us one by one out of our lives. People have judged, people have condemned, and people have rejected us. And you never do. And I am so grateful for that. Today, here on this brand new shiny, sparkly week, we're reminded of your grace, of your redemption, your forgiveness that makes us shiny, sparkly and brand new. I am so grateful for who you are. I am so grateful for what you've done in my life. And I am so hopeful for all that you will continue to do. Life, life more abundantly, eternal life that has begun here and now. Thank you, worship you and praise you. Pray this now in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Announcements:

Looking forward to an incredible week together as we turn the page in the stories of our lives and in the story of the word of God tomorrow. I'm Jill. Until then, love one another.

Community Prayer Line:

Hello DABC family. This is Liz calling from Texas. Just calling for a little prayer right now. My business that I started this year is kind of going slow right now and it's kind of been hard trying to match this. Working full time at the job and take care of myself, of girls. I just want to be successful to help not just my family but just to help others as well. My attention is not to I don't know, I want to make sure that my family is taking care of them, that I help other people in the process. I would really appreciate the prayers. I have a lot of things going on in my health. It's not the best and I just need, you know, just prayer in this. Thank you.

Good morning DABC, this is Tanya, calling from Suffolk. I want to pray for Adra, Shandra and Reese. Heavenly father, I lift up Adra, Chandra and Reese to you father, you know these guys stand in need of father, I'm asking Lord God, just to show yourself in such a mighty way. I'm asking heavenly Father that you just be offense, father all around Egypt. Ever one of those situations that they are dealing with. I'm asking Father Andrews, you just show her that it's nothing too small to heal for her with the authorizer. She's having her hands. Father, I once again speak divine healing right now. In the mighty name of Jesus. And Chandra, father, I'm asking Lord God you just to just open up doors, Lord God. The people that have stayed in her way. She has received this position, father and they feel like that she's not worthy of the position, father. But I'm asking Lord God that you just prove them wrong. Father you say. Father that you would make your enemy father the footstool. Father so just let them know Lord God that they cannot stand in the way. Lord God of the blessing that you have given Chandra. Allow them Lord God to open up their minds and their heart. Lord God that they will receive her. Lord God. Because she would do the work that you have planned for them. And father for the young one, the son that has been on suicide watch, father, I've been dealing with this with my daughter. So God, I know what the mother is going through. Father, I'm asking Lord God, that you just remove in and everything, father is not of you. I bind that spirit of depression and suicide right now in the mighty name of Jesus. I speak divine healing in the mighty name of Jesus. You guys have a wonderful day.

Good afternoon DACB family. This is Velma from the Virginia side of the DMV. I wanted to pray for Julie. She had called in, she said that she said MS. And she was afraid to go to God to ask for healing because she thought it was too big. And Julie, I want to tell you that nothing is too big for God. The word of God says, is anything too hard for God? And it also answers, no, nothing is too hard for God. So I want to pray with you. Dear Lord, I thank you today, I praise you, I glorify you for all that you are to us, Lord, and I ask that you would put Your healing hand on Julie. She asked that she'd be healed entirely, completely. And I touch and agree with her, lord, your word says that whatever we ask in prayer, believing, we will receive it. So I'm asking you, Jehovah Rafa, to put Your healing power, your healing hand on Julie. And I believe with Julie that she will be completely restored, completely healed, in Jesus name, amen.

Hi DABC family. This is Tammy from the Adirondacks. I'm here with my husband Tracy, and we just got done listening to the October 17 podcast and Julie called in, I believe that was your name. You've been suffering with MS for 30 years. My husband also has progressive MS. It's been 30 years for him also. We just want to lift you up in prayer, sister. Father, we just ask you Lord, you are the great physician, Lord, you are the great healer. There is nothing too big for you, Father God, and you still perform miracles today. You are working all things out for our good. Father God. And for Your will to be done Lord. And we ask it. We ask Father. That Your will be that you will continue to strengthen Julie. That you will heal her. Father from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet. Lord, that she will know and feel Your presence. Lord. That she will feel the strength that you have your peace, Father. And just to hear her just want to dance with her kids. Father. And let them see Your joy, Father. Your light, Father. That's what we all want as Your children, Father. For people to see your light shine through us, Lord. No matter what the trials that we are facing. Father God. So we just lift Julie up to you Lord. We ask for a divine healing. Father. We ask you Father. In Your precious name. Jesus. Cover her in Your bloodbord. She is covered in Your blood. She is your child and you want life abundant for your children. We love you and we praise you Jesus. Amen. God bless you sister. We love you.

Good morning, this is Kristen in Louisiana and I wanted to call in today to lift up Andy James, her friend, Creative Child in Texas called in to pray for her, Lord, and so we just lived her up to You, Father, and lift her recovery up to you Father. We pray for her baby Lily, Lord, that her parents are taking care of and for her husband, Lord, that you just provide for them in all areas, Lord, and just give them supernatural energy and multiply that window of time that baby Lily has with her mom on the weekends, Lord. Multiply that supernaturally, Father. And just allow them to bond and connect and just love on each other, Father. And I pray for all of the nurses and doctors and therapists that are going to be helping Andy. Father. That you just bring people into her room. Even the aides and the staff. Lord. That know you, Father. So that she can feel your presence. Lord. And feel loved and not feel so alone while she's there. Lord. And I pray for Julie, Father who called in and is asking for a complete physical healing from her Ms. Lord. I pray I know that you hear the cries of her heart. Lord. And I pray that you answer those with a yes. Father. That you give her that healing that she is crying out for so that she can do those things that she called in about. Walk through the woods with her kids and dance and sing and shout for you, Father. So I just agree with Julie, Lord, and ask you to give her that healing in your name we pray. Amen.

[pen-your-peace]

How I Forgave My Father

PYP

How I Forgave My Father

February 06, 2022

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free,

and to discover that the prisoner was you."

-Lewis Smedes

It was in my sophomore year when I noticed that I am aloof with guys. I never really had 'guy friends' and I didn't know why. 

So what I did is I tried to fit in. I made myself 'one of the boys'-- a girl who's not afraid to talk about the 'normal things guys talk about,'--ofcourse the green jokes and such. I would also curse alot and  fight alot with people. Strangely, even if I was trying to fit in to have guy friends, I never really allowed men in my life. It's either I'm too young to think I'm in love to a guy (so I pursued them but I'm afraid when one wants to commit) or I was rejected and hurt, and the rest of them were just there to laugh with me while talking about 'guy stuffs.'

I was changed when I encountered God when I was 13 (senior year or 4th year highschool), and finally, wholeheartedly accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior at 15 (freshman college). By God's grace, the words that comes to my mouth are not curses and green jokes anymore but blessings and the gospel. That time, I have different issues with myself so I wasn't able to recognize that I have this kind of hatred with my father, and I wasn't able to process it with my leaders. But God's timing in revealing the things in our hearts is always perfect.

Few years later, I already graduated in college, and was finally looking for my first job, and I noticed that I never wanted my father to meddle with my life's decisions, nor give me advise nor scold me even if I should really be scolded.

I was thinking he don't deserve it. Like 'he doesn't have the right to scold me, after all he did and did not do to/for our family?' Worst is that, I didn't recognize this unforgiveness until God revealed it to me in that camp.

God is good because we have Leader's Camp (church retreat) that time. So while praise and worshipping God, I just can't help myself from crying to God. For the first time in my life, I felt that pain that I was holding in, all of these years.

I remember the days my father would go home drunk, and hurt my mother physically. I remember the days I wanted to protect my mother but I can't because I was just a little child. I remember that day I shouted at my father to "STOP" hurting my mother while he's strangling her, because I was afraid I will lose my mother. I remember my mother and I, cried while hugging each other after that. I remember my mother crying late at night because my father was caught cheating on her. I remember my father not working anymore, and my mother is the only one who provides for us, for how many years already.

I said "God he don't deserve it. How can I forgive him?" But God answered me, "Love him, as much as I love him. Forgive him as much as I forgive him."

I asked God again, "Lord, how can you still love him? I don't understand."

Then God reminded me how he forgave me too. And that was enough for me. 

If He can forgive me, who am I to not forgive my father? And if He loves my father the same, who am I to not love him the same?

It was never easy for me to forgive my father wholeheartedly, but at the end of that Leader's Camp, I was so full of God's love, that I was able to forgive my father genuinely, and wholeheartedly. Indeed, I felt free!

Those years of my father hurting my mother physically was long gone. He actually already changed, prior to that encounter and conversation with God. But I brought that hate and unforgiveness during those times because I never got to process it with God, and the people around me. Also, we are now living ourlives joyfully, and I'm still praying that my parents would also personally encounter Jesus, and his love for them. The past still sometimes haunts us, but my assurance is that, our family's identity is not in the past anymore--but in what Jesus did on the cross. Today, I'm still having a hard time allowing men in my life because of those childhood traumas. But I'm healing--for now, that's enough for me too.

Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many,

are forgiven--for she loved much.

But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

-Luke 7:47 

This blog was originally posted last Feb 2022 here:

[dearfuturehusband2023]

Dear Future Husband, 2/9/23

Today I visited Texas for the first time - I’m in Dallas for The Sexless Tribe MeetUp Experience 🎉😌🙌🏽

I had some mixed feelings based on the last one and things that happened in life between July 2022-Feb 2023. But here I am. Why? God already put on my heart that this isn’t about me but the fellowship and impact I can make. Sharing my light with others. My heart. My testimony. I also really needed this break after the show I just did (Love Freedom and Other Lies from the South- A Love Story).

This story that I’ve been connected to since 2017 keeps revealing things about myself, life, love and now even, what I desire to receive from you. The character of Elijah loves me (Ruth) so selflessly he agrees to still buy my freedom and set me free even if I decide I don’t want to marry him. He sees me. He sees that I’m smart, humble and beautiful. I know you will be all that and more. You will exceed my imagination (more than I can ask or think! In Jesus’ name). I wonder how you would feel about dating/being married to an actress. I promise I won’t get Hollywood on you (unless I’m joking 😜).

The other night after the show a thought/silent prayer came to me :” God, where is my husband?” I’m happy to see the desire for you and marriage is growing, there was a time I didn’t even think it was possible. I know God has and is creating me to be a wife. He’s been preparing me all along to be the bride of Christ and one day, If it is His will, your forever bride on earth. I’m trying to maybe imagine what you look like but I don’t know if I’ll ever really know, unless God reveals you in a dream. I hope He does.

I pray you are starting the year with hope, joy, and a peace only God can give. For your doubts, Gods clarity. For your battles against the enemy, victory. I’m sitting on the couch in our suite and I think how awesome it will be to spend days and nights and moments on our couches we’ll have. The conversations. The embraces. The quiet moments. They’re all worth waiting for. You are worth waiting for. You’re worth dying to my flesh for. You’re worth the work. You’re worth the process.

“Then the Lord said to me, “Son of man, can these bones come to life?” I answered, “Lord GOD, only you know the answer to that question.” Then he said to me, “Speak to these bones for me. Tell them, ‘Dry bones, listen to the word of the Lord!”

‭‭Ezekiel‬ ‭37‬:‭3‬-‭4‬ ‭ERV‬‬

[adventurepaige]

Rekindling our Faith: 2 Timothy

2 Timothy 1:7-8

"For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel by the power of God."

Every Christian I know has struggled in maintaining their relationship with God. As for me, I know I have personally struggled with some of his truth that contradict what is popular in society. Molding my mind to think more Christ-like has been a primary goal of mine since the beginning of October 2022. I have been gifted quite a few notebooks from my relatives in the last year or so that have not gone to efficient use, so I found one that didn't have much writing in it and started jotting down sermon notes, prayers, and other things I found interesting or inspiring. I graduated in December of 2022 and have been struggling to find a job that needs temporary work since I plan on moving in the spring. With this I have been experiencing anxiety and feelings of self-doubt. I have quite a bit of free time, so I figured it's the perfect time to really dive into rekindling my faith.

In the book of 2 Timothy the Apostle Paul is imprisoned, causing him great discouragement. Paul writes to Timothy advising him to revive his God-given talents of leadership and ministry. In this, Paul is inspired by Timothy's faith and reminds him to not only focus on what he has taught him, but to also remember the grace and love Christ provides. In the Youversion study plan I am completing, the author notes in their devotional that discouragement may lead to you towards neglecting the things that are there to help you most. If we feel discouraged on our walk of faith, it is critical to remember that wandering further from Jesus is blocking the blessings he has in store for you. I often have to remind myself that this is indeed not a sprint, it is a walk of faith. Nothing will resolve itself without time and faith in our Lord that His path is right.

Through all of our hardships and seasons of unknowns, we can remember that Jesus died on the Cross so the Holy Spirit can provide us with the ultimate power of living for Christ. Not only this, we are called to faithfully serve Him through his undying love and grace with the goal of bringing yourself and others closer to Jesus.

A final thought that struck me in the author's devotional noted that we should let His grace be the primary motivation that fuels your faith, regardless of your current circumstances. The world moves at a high-speed pace that we often feel that we cannot keep up with. Good news though - with our faith in Jesus we are able to slow down and remind ourselves that God sets the pace for us, not the other way around. There is no comparison to His divine plan for us, and in most cases earthly desires deter us from it. As a reminder to myself in this time where I am unemployed and starting my new life outside of college, God's plan will carry out the way should as long as I remain faithful. So for now, I will continue praying for guidance and hope that I find God's true calling for me.

To close, one of the biggest lessons I took from 2 Timothy 1 and 2 is that we can all take after Timothy and Paul in our daily lives. We have days where we crave inspiration, and we have those where we give that inspiration to others. Jesus works within you and the His children every single minute we spend trying to know Him more. I pray that He calls me to wherever I am needed to serve Him most in this world, and I pray that He blesses those crave his presence.

Paige Martin, February 3rd, 2023

Verse Notes:

2 Timothy 1:3-4

2 Timothy 1:7-8

2 Timothy 2:14

2 Timothy 2:22

2 Timothy 3:1-5

Verse Highlight: 2 Timothy 2:11-13

"Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself."

[alissacorreadelrosario]

Invest in long term goals, not on short terms

Hey everyone! What's up?!

One of the things that I've realized is to focus on the foods that we eat because it will affect our physical health when we get older. I admit that I love sweets so much like ice cream, chocolates and cakes. Maybe, you will agree that these are all yummy, right?

But as we age, we should invest in long term goals not on short term one. What I mean is eat salads and other healthy food options instead of eating an instant noodles. Choose to eat healthy fruits with good health benefits instead of the sweet desserts.

I am in my late 20s and as I mature I am trying to remove all my stress and I also promise to myself to never indulge again in stress eating because it is not good for me. If you also did the same (stress eating), I think it is never too late to cut the carbs and focus on the foods that will give the appropriate nutrients that we need.

Another thing is for those who loves drinking beer. Yes, you can do it once in a while but not to the point that it is too much. Remember that drinking too much alcohol may cause so many problems in the future in your body like heart and liver disease. In my case, I only drink one glass when I socialize with my friends and it was definitely just for a change of lifestyle. I just know my limit because I don't want to get tipsy. I should know my capacity. So, my advice is when drinking alcohol, be cautious. Don't drink too much & don't drink and drive if you can't.

Another thing about investing in long terms, every now and then, we can reward ourselves with something nice after working (or if you are studying) so hard. I always remind my dear readers to invest on material things that will increase value in the future like land properties and gold investments. But actually, there is another investment that you have to build---that is having an inner peace and self love. The most luxurious thing here on planet Earth are the ones that we cannot bought. Inner peace and self love are both priceless. So every now and then don't forget to spoil yourself with something that will make your heart flutter.

In my 20s, I already have some properties like land and car properties that is under my name and a little jewelry investment that I could pass for the next generation if I will have my own family. I still don't know where will be my future home because I think it will truly depend in my decision with my future partner---the one that I've been praying for. I am planning to save up so that I could add another land investment in the future. But this year 2023, I am investing in my inner peace and self love. I believe that self growth towards spiritual healing is included in that. I truly believe that as brothers and sisters of our Almighty Father, we are all sinners and we are all created equally by the Lord. That is why I am also investing dedicating my life in a worshipping the Lord. A constant communication with our Father is very significant. We should invest in our relationship with our Father, my dear readers.

Inner peace comes when you serve other people selflessly and without asking for anything in return, doing some charity works, traveling and exploring the places you've only read and seen in the internet. When you decide to invest on traveling, you are actually investing in yourself. I don't regret the money that I saved up for traveling. Yes, it is costly but the memories that I've created all over the world is something that is so priceless that cannot be matched to any material things even the most precious diamond in the whole world. My tip is always be on a budget when traveling. I always have a little pocket money because I have to admit it I am kuripot sometimes. During my more than 10 days Europe Trip on November 2022, I decided to have only some euros. When I am in the money changer, I've changed some of my Philippine peso into 500 euros only. Please don't commit the same mistakes that I did. When you are in Europe or anywhere abroad, it is good to have extra money. Yes, being thrifty is good but you need to consider potential dilemmas abroad and you must have an extra amount of money in case of emergency (and not to say shopping). That's it, lesson learned! 😅 Haha.

Whenever I look back, I just laughed at my past mistakes and I only bring the lessons that I've learned.

My dear readers, step out of your comfort zone and be at ease when you enter your courage zone. Truly, everything is beautiful, we just need to have a little leap of faith. For me, stepping out of your comfort zone is a long term invest so that you will discover more of yourself.

Our youth is the socalled planting season and as we age, this will be the harvest season. So let us all plant long term seeds in our life so that our future selves will thank us for. Invest in long term goals.

Love lots, A 💞

[yarodey]

IF YOU’RE READING THIS

ya girl accessed her Tumblr! OMG fireworks everywhere!. lol I honestly started a new one at one point earlier this year because I thought this one was a lost cause but GOD!!! 

Anyways, I’m listening to the new SZA album feeling all sentimental n shiiii. It’s super comforting to know that I’m not the only one who is out here struggling lol. Honestly, this year has been pretty tough. It’s funny too. In 2020 I swore on everything that I had hit my absolute lowest. Oh how I’ve proved myself wrong. Two years later, I’m still not thriving still not shining still incredibly unhappy. I struggle a lot especially with my emotional poise lol. That sh*t don’t exist with me it feels like. I’m either over the top ecstatic, incredibly irritable, or deep into my feelings (most times being the latter of the two). Now to be fair, literally as I’m typing this,  I am on day two of entertaining my cousin Flo and my fiftyleventh shot of mr Jim (with a dash of orange liqueur>>>>>). So it is safe to say that my disposition on the woe of my life is heavily subjective. 

But that simply cannot discredit the  just all around low I've felt in the year of our lord 2022. I’m no where where I want to be. I’m not even happy lol. BUT GOD and his beautiful creation SZA. The latter half of my year has been graced with just experiencing the imperfections of women of my age (whether present or past references) just trying to figure life out; and many times alone. I’ve felt very alone this year for sure. Partially because I have built a habit of ostracizing and completely disassociating myself from everyone including those I love (which has surprisingly been easy.... lol I kinda hate everyone no shade). But also partially because people push me away (or maybe just live their lives without me for which I narcissistically take personal). I’m not sure if this is a response to their own personal issues (life be lifing) or me (ahhh intrusive thoughts) but DAYUMN. I’m kind of at a point where I burn the bridge with people before I even give them the chance to rub me the wrong way.

There is zero fluidity in this essay but can I just say, people are so selfish. lol 2022 has definitely played a role in my villain origin story (which has been quite interesting). I really kinda wanna expound on it more but I’m not sure that Tumblr is the appropriate platform (but at the same time....who really gives af about yaro enough to explore her personal and mostly one-sided beefs?). But we’ll see, maybe later I’ll feel compelled to share. In the meantime hey. lol this made no sense to read (so bless ur heart if you made it this far). I’m yaro and yea I’m kinda reinvinting myself. call it my rebranding or call it my rebirth idk. But I am currently focused on just  building me again...

[artemismatchalatte]

NaNoWriMo 2022: Day 20

I actually submitted my thesis proposal, exercised and made dinner so I wasn’t just writing today. I tried to balance it. Still Trying. I’m a little obsessive now that I’ve really got this story rolling. 

No, it’s not anywhere near done and it’s going to be a beast to edit, but who cares about that. It’s novel writing month not novel editing month (am I right?) 

Hope everyone else is hitting their writing/study/other goals as well! :D 

Day 20 Word Count: 4,054 Words

November 2022 Word Count so far: 66,593 Words

Excerpt: 

“I don’t think you need me to do that, Paulie. We’re on excellent terms; no need to shock poor Matilda with our unconventional marriage. No one is going to make you marry a man, alright, honey? I chose to marry Paulie. It was an arrangement that worked beautifully for both of us. We have a wonderful home and no one is going to force us to do anything we don’t want to do. And the whole thing is legal; in writing, with witnesses and all.” Gerry could be gentle too. She chided him so while also reassuring me with the same sweet tone. In their own way, Paul and Geraldine Starling did love each other and understand each other in ways that I didn’t think other people could hope to.

Sir Highwater and Gerry both got out of the carriage first. I watched as Sir Highwater caught Lord Starling in his descent. Gerry let them go ahead and waited for me to come down after. She helped me balance- taking my hands in hers- I knew I wouldn’t fall as long as she held unto me. I kept my hand in hers as we walked upon the grand bridge that led to the entrance of Radclyffe Heights. They had a moat and in my mind all I heard and felt was the presence of knights and ladies; a courtly scene flashed by my eyes. I turned and beheld Gerry in full armor; naturally, she was knight, how could she be anything else in this other world of high fantasy?

“You alright, Matilda?” She asked me because I fell silent, just staring at her. It was an odd feeling I had then though it was entirely inexplicable. I had been here before, but in another life.

“Gerry-“

“Come on, sweetie, the boys are waiting for us and they’re not alone. I have two girls I want you to meet.”

Olivia Townsville and Angeline Beaufort; two lovely girls about the same age as Miss Green- two and twenty years of age- if I had to guess. They both sat together on the couch and looked as if they had been sharing secrets when we all walked into the room. Lord Starling and Sir Highwater were already sitting together on another couch opposite them. The two doves lifted their heads in a singular motion to behold Gerry and I crossing the threshold of the room.

“Ladies, your prince has returned.” Gerry opened her arms wide and both the girls flew up to greet her.

“Gerry!” They both said and embraced her without any restraint. I was surprised to see this. Gerry didn’t have a girl; she had two.

She kissed each of them sweetly upon the cheek. “Tell me, how has this last week served you?”

The fair Angeline and dark Olivia almost started speaking at the same time. They stopped, laughed and grabbed unto each other’s arms to stay standing up.

“Oh, it has been the most enchanting week, Gerry. Livvy and I took the horses up to the cliffs and we watched the sunrise. I do declare, I’ve never felt more alive in all my life than in that moment.” Angeline said, her light eyes sparking in joy.

“As you know, I’m happy to let you take the horses any time you please. Anything that I can do to make sure you’re both content; don’t hesitate to let me know. I’m at your service- both of you.” Gerry took each of their hands one at a time to her lips. All I could do was watch in fascination.

You must remember Adelaide Green was the only girl I had expressed myself to before this point. I wasn’t ready for Lady Gerry Starling and her chivalrous romances with several esteemed ladies. Gerry felt like a character I had invented; a dream version of myself that I would become if only the world had let me. But Gerry was no character; she was as real as me. She had kissed my cheek, held my hand, readjusted my collar and encouraged me to let go of everything that had once held me back.

[homemade-ghosts]

watching as rinis and pws say rina is gonna crash and burn like the other relationships bc they can’t keep ppl together is so 😭😭 the narrative of the season is rina together is the love they both deserve. pw was a plot device from the beginning and rini literally had ricky regressing by the end of s1 yet i was supposed to assume they wouldn’t crash and burn? rina will no doubt have problems in s4 but they’ll prevail unlike others …they can keep couples together but just like with every other teen drama midgames happen before the endgame 😭😭

After all this time, after interviews with the literal showrunner & creator of the show that confirm everything we've been saying, they still don't get it.

Both Rini & pw were built to fall apart and reducing their respective breakups to just being for the sake drama or because "the writers are incapable of keeping couples together" is a disservice to every character involved.

The Rini breakup was a huge sign of development for both Ricky & Nini. For Ricky, it meant letting go of his past, accepting his parents’ separation and embracing change. A part of Ricky resented his parents for not trying “hard enough”, for not “fighting” to save their marriage. Being with Nini was not only a way for Ricky to hold on to the last shred of his past, of his life before things were complex and difficult and confusing and changing -- but it was also a way for Ricky to try to prove, to both his parents & himself, that any relationship can be fixed if you just try really, really hard. Ricky wanted to believe that things don’t have to change if you don’t let them change -- but the more he tried to keep his relationship with Nini together, the more it became obvious that it was breaking apart at the seams. Ricky’s desire for stability & sameness was in direct opposition to Nini’s desire for the unpredictable & the new -- no amount of deleted comments or attempts at getting Nini into the musical were going to change that. In the end, Ricky realized that he & Nini couldn’t give each other what they needed or wanted anymore. When he did the mature thing and broke up with his first love -- this representation of his past/childhood -- it was an indication that he was growing up, finally ready to say goodbye to a part of himself that he outgrew a long time ago. Even if it hurt to realize it, he knew that his mom had been right all along, “Not all couples are meant to be together. Sometimes people change.”

For Nini, their breakup meant independence & room to breathe. She felt suffocated in her relationship with Ricky and she knew that he loved her not for who she was, but for what she represented (”am I something to you and not someone? ‘Cause I feel trapped on this pedestal you put me on.”) + Nini has, canonically, always been the kind of girl who judges herself by what boys see in her (in s1, Kourtney quite literally told her this & in s2, she wrote/sang the lyric “all my life I’ve seen myself through your eyes”). Gone is the girl who needed EJ’s encouragement to feel she was even worthy of auditioning for Gabriella at the beginning of the series. Gone is the girl who ran back to the safety of East High when YAC got too difficult. Now she finally has the confidence & self esteem to really go for what she wants. She realized that it’s her opinion of herself that matters. Ricky wanted her to be someone she hasn’t been for a long, long time -- but now Nini’s life gets to be solely about what she wants. 

People who ship Rini (In this, the year of our lord Tim Federle, 2022? Embarrassing.) really do not care about Ricky & Nini as individual characters at all because they hindered each other’s character development and became the worst versions of themselves (Ricky: clingy & vaguely controlling / Nini: neglectful & gaslighting) when they were together. 

pw was quite literally built, like you said, to be a plot device for Rina. Gina told Ricky she doesn’t do anything right the first time and EJ being her first relationship/boyfriend is a representation of that. EJ’s inability to share things with, support, listen to, show up for or understand Gina showed her that Ricky can, has & will do all of those things for her and more. EJ showed Gina the kind of love she deserves by not giving it to her.

Ricky & Gina had to be with and breakup with Nini & EJ, respectively, in order for them to be fully ready for each other.

In the immortal words of the great philosopher Taylor Swift:

Sometimes giving up is the strong thing Sometimes to run is the brave thing Sometimes walking out is the one thing That will find you the right thing

[lovedispelsallmyfears]

Wow, haven't been here for so long, but i just checked my drafts, and may mga sinulat pala 'ko rito??? Written around 2019 to 2020. In one of my drafts, i described those years as the hardest season of my life; 2020 - sino ba naman ang hindi? Pero 2019 ko sinulat yun 🙃

I'm here again just because I want to put this video here hehe. But i guess i'm gonna write na rin something to remind myself in the future 😆 as this video is not just nice to look at, but also gives me so much peace and unspeakable joy, specially now that i've read my drafts from 2019 & 2020.

Last year, on our VG's Christmas party, we wrote one word each to describe our 2021, and what we're looking forward to in the year 2022. I can't remember exactly how i described my 2021 - maybe overwhelming, or something synonymous to suffocating loljk. But my word for 2022: BREATHE.

And seeing this shot from my recent trip at Las Casas 🥺🥺 i'm overwhelmed on how God has been so good to me, and how favored I am all this time.

In 2019 and 2020, i have been crying out to God, telling Him how i feel like sinking most of the time. In one of my drafts, i wrote, "My heart is sinking. This season of my life... has been the hardest one for me. I've always chosen to see the beauty and positivity around me, but now, even the simplest thing became so complicated for me. I cry most of the time, out of frustration and exasperation." And reading this now, grabe, i can still remember how i was and how challenging life has been for me. But also reading my drafts now, made me see all the more how God carried me through it all 😭 Yes, kinarga lang talaga ko ni Lord, all the while being patient with me amidst all my complaints.

God has reminded me that this is not my home, and all these are temporary. The lack of problems and challenges in my life is not the reason i was able to "breathe" this year. But I realized now, the moment I surrendered to God all my cares and burdens (yung ginawa talaga, hindi lang sinasabi 🤣), is the reason why I'm able to run freely (refer to video hahaha di man 'yun run tho??). I still have the same big problems, (hayyy God knows 😩), i still worry and get nervous, but... i do not doubt God. At the end of each day, I am assured of His love and promises.

Like a fragile clay jar, i have this great treasure. Everything I have is from Him. I am pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed; Perplexed, but not driven to despair; Hunted down, but never abandoned by God; Knocked down, but not destroyed. (2 Corinthians 4:5-10)

Remembering that this life is temporary made me just want to accomplish the good works God has prepared for me to do in His perfect time. I realized that the years I was really having a hard time, were the years I was trying to accomplish things according to my own plans and timeline - I was really frustrated that the things i wanted to happen, didn't happen. I was in doubt, full of questions and disappointments. But thank God my mind was renewed.

Just like my prayer on my last birthday, "In the coming days, there would be no disappointments, because I will put my hope only in You." 🧡

[diaryofabadwitch]

august 8, 2022

I have witnessed people who don't even believe in astrological pulls and influences, and those who do, get collectively wrecked these past few months -myself included.

my saturn return looms closer every single day, and to say I am not ready for it, is an absurd understatement. when I was a teenager, my grandparents would always say that somewhere around your twenty-eighth year, you "grew up," and I never truly grasped what they had meant. Now, I see that everyone's saturn return is in their twenty-ninth year, and being saturn ruled, I know for my chart personally this will be a hard year full of karmic transformation, just as most of my life has been. the lord of karma, lording over me for my entire life has been...a trip. I could tell you about the ups and the downs. the triumphs, and the great losses of my life -gods know, there has been a plethora of both. but I believe the truer message would be that the universe will always balance itself. it does not need our help, nor does it want it. for every person that is cruel, there will be one that will be kind. for every deep void you fall into, you will too, find a day where you're higher than cloud nine. the faster we understand this, the easier things become to digest. The easier hard things are to swallow and let go, the better we can focus on things that truly matter.

take a moment for yourself today, tap into something you love. try five minutes of meditation, or even, just a healing Hz sound on your way home to or from work today for a few minutes. take advantage of the cosmic alignment, align yourself.

I'm about to have to go do just that myself, but I'll drop a link with more info about today's cosmic alignment before I do! did you already know about the lionsgate portal opening up today ? and if you did, what are you doing for the day ?

[giftofshewbread]

How Beautiful Heaven Must Be

:: By Dennis Huebshman   Published on:  August 20, 2022

John 14:1-3; “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; also believe in Me. In My Father’s house there are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and take you to Myself, that where I am, you may be also” (ESV – all emphasis mine).

If we could see every beautiful sight this earth contains, we would most likely see ornate cities; lavish castles; beautiful majestic mountains; beautiful wooded areas; rivers; lakes; streams and oceans; and all could be very breathtaking. However, even the most beautiful sight on this earth will pale when compared to what our eternal Home in Heaven will be like.

How the apostles John and Paul could get a glimpse of this magnificent beauty and then come back to this earth to live out the balance of their lives is beyond me. It is my firm belief that when we finally experience the glory of our Heavenly Home, nothing could convince us to return here except to serve our Lord in the Millennial Reign.

The last two chapters of Revelation try to give descriptions that we can attempt to understand. Even so, no matter how descriptive John is, I don’t believe there are adequate adjectives available for us to truly visualize the majesty, splendor, glory, and beauty of what true believers will witness.

First and foremost, we will finally get to see our Heavenly Father on His throne and our Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ, seated at His right hand. There will be no evil of any kind in our new Home. The old heavens and earth will have passed away. John spoke of a “New Jerusalem” coming down from Heaven for us to dwell in. What the exact location will be, we are not given, but just the size of the City will be more than adequate for all to live there who were saved while on this earth.

The measurements given are in “furlongs” or “stadia” and cubits, but it breaks down that the City is approximately 1,500 miles long, 1,500 miles wide, and 1,500 miles high, with walls approximately 12 feet thick (Revelation 21:16).

As for splendor, the walls are built of pure jasper, and the City is pure gold like clear glass. The wall foundations are adorned with twelve different jewels; jasper, sapphire, agate, emerald, onyx, carnelian, chrysolite, beryl, topaz, chrysoprase, jacinth, and amethyst. I have to admit, there are a couple of these I am anxious to see what they actually look like (Revelation 21:18-20).

There are twelve gates to the City, and each is made up of a single pearl with streets of gold that are so pure that they appear to be transparent like glass (Revelation 21:21).

We must remember that time as we know it was created at the beginning of earth’s history by God for our purposes (Genesis 1:3-5). He created the seasons and days and years (Genesis 1:14-15). At Home, our Jesus will be our light, and there will be no more night (Revelation 22:5).

There will be a river of the Water of Life flowing from the Throne of God and the Lamb. There will be on either side of it the Tree of Life with different fruits for each month. How we will partake of this remains to be seen, but no matter what, it will excel far above any food and drink we have ever had here (Revelation 22:1-2).

The main point to all of this is our Jesus paid for us to be with Him in this Beautiful Holy City, and our “cost” is to believe in Him and accept His wonderful gift. There is no deity other than our Heavenly Trinity who would ever love us such as this. Man-made gods are created in human minds with human limitations to rule with strict regulations, many works and donations, and whatever. For us to believe we could “earn” one second of time in our eternal Home by our own means would be a great insult to our Creator and especially His Son.

A song by Mrs. A. S. Bridgewater (1873-1957) of North Carolina, published in 1920, is called “How Beautiful Heaven Must Be.”

1.) We read of a place called Heaven; it’s made for the pure and the free. These truths in God’s Word He has given; how beautiful Heaven must be.

Ref) How beautiful Heaven must be; sweet home of the happy and free; fair haven of rest for the weary; how beautiful Heaven must be.

2.) In Heaven no drooping nor pining; no wishing for elsewhere to be. God’s light is forever there shining; how beautiful Heaven must be. (ref)

3.) Pure waters of life there are flowing; all who will drink may be free. Rare jewels of splendor are glowing; how beautiful Heaven must be. (ref)

4.) The angels so sweetly are singing, up there by the beautiful sea. Sweet chords from their gold harps are ringing; how beautiful Heaven must be. (ref)

Now for the downside. This will only be for those who have truly called out and asked to be forgiven by Jesus, and for Him to be our eternal Savior. We realize we have all sinned, and only the pure sinless blood shed by our Jesus at Calvary can cleanse us. There is no other way to have an eternal Home with our Savior (John 14:6; Acts 4:12; John 3:18; and 1 John 5:12 as examples).

To pass from this earth without Jesus as your Savior is the unforgivable sin. The cost will be an appearance in that long line at the Great White Throne Judgment of Revelation 20:11-15. No member of the flock of our Shepherd will be at this judgment.

There is no pardon, no forgiveness available there, and no suspended sentences. All in that line will be assigned eternal punishment in the lake of fire prepared especially for the devil and his angels (Matthew 25:41).

Even though our messages about being saved, being born again, and having an eternal Home with Jesus are foolishness to the unsaved (1 Corinthians 1:18), we are giving them an opportunity to repent and change their eternal address once and for all. No one will be forced, as some religions try to do to their members, but each person has the ability to choose for themselves who they will worship. Jesus or Satan.

Satan and his demons are working overtime these days. False prophets and antichrists are getting more active daily. Many evangelical churches have turned away from preaching God’s word and are giving ear-tickling, feel-good, and totally unbiblical messages to their members. Everyone is told just how “good” they are, that there are many ways to Heaven, and any “love” lifestyle a person desires is perfectly all right. Sin is conveniently overlooked.

The condition of today’s world is right on schedule with the end of this age’s prophecy. The Father is “setting the hooks,” as given in Ezekiel 38:4. The coalition is primed, and before long, they will try to take out Israel for their abundant wealth. Then, the man with the peace plan will appear, and it will be 7 years of tribulation here.

With that so close, our being called up to meet Jesus in the air is even closer. The Rapture will take place as promised by the Father to keep us from the wrath that is coming (1 Thessalonians 4:13-17; 1 Corinthians 15:51-53).

The only question remaining is, which will you choose? Time is rapidly slipping away, and today would not be too soon to follow Romans 10:9-13. Verse 13 is key for all believers; “All who call on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

Just think of the beautiful Home waiting if you are part of the Shepherd’s flock. Don’t hesitate, or you may just be too late.

Maranatha – Come, Lord Jesus!

[hologramcowboy]

Jensen’s comments about his home life are always so weird. Like why would you brag that you, a 44 year old man, can’t do basic house maintenance/upkeep? If that’s true not only is that the biggest turnoff, but it actually makes me feel sorry for Danneel. Imagine being super sick, and coming out of isolation to a household that’s a mess and needs your immediate attention because your husband is incompetent.

On the other hand if Jensen is just lying to make Danneel look good that’s also pathetic. If I had zero talent, zero personality and no redeeming qualities so my husband had to pretend that I was a super housewife in this the year of our Lord 2022 I would send myself off to live out the rest of my days in a convent.

Honestly it’s probably a mix of the two. Jensen doesn’t really do much when he’s at home citing how hard he works as the reason why and Danneel will reheat a frozen lasagne once a week and occasionally take the children to school. They both pat themselves on the back for their hard work while the nanny picks up all of the slack.

Yes, he turns into into a comic character skit but really none of what he recounts if even remotely funny, it points to an awful atmosphere within the family, discontentment and especially contempt for Danneel. I didn't find what he said attractive either, he seemed like a highschool jock who only thinks about himself and lets everyone else do the work for him. I doubt Danneel does any work, she has what? Two nannies? Since she has no career and people won't cast her due to her gawdawful attitude, Jensen tries to make her seem like a home maker but ends up having her look like some sort of unbalanced household dictator. I think he just tries to hurriedly come up with funny things to say and tanks it with comments that make both him and Danneel look like a disconnected couple from the 70' who are basically living together but not in love. Also, just my preference, but If I was Danneel I'd be deeply offended by Jensen constantly trying to make me into the maid as if my only purpose was the kitchen or keeping things ordered. Surely, there's more to Danneel than being a "saint" because she cleans and takes care of the kids?? I mean, I dislike her but c'mon. There really is nothing to their love, it's clear by every comment Jensen makes. To him she's just a convenient task achiever. As for his stories, like you pointed out, it very much seems he is overcompensating, trying to make the story gel and there must be a reason behind that. I am sure he is aware of the bad image Danneel has, he might be trying to make her seem home focused to clean up her image somewhat but unfortunately, they are both Actors so trying to pass her off for the maid only creates obstacles for her credibility in her career so yes, Anon, like you I feel sorry for her too, not just for the lack of work on Jensen's part but for the negative impact all of this is having on her already shady image. In HW image is Everything so pushing the cleaning toilets, kitchen, bla bla narrative takes out of the race for the already limited roles she can play and places her in the un-castable (can I make up a new word?) category. She should be going for the villain/cougar roles, instead she is aiming for the toilet. Literally. WTF. lol