#But yeah I can totally imagine him being underestimated as he grew up

[driftingballoons]

What do you think about the theory that wigglytuff deliberately plays up the goofiness to get people to underestimate him?

He strikes me as being genuinely silly and fun-loving when he’s around the other guild members (i.e. his friends)—I think that’s just the kind of guy he is. But the moment he senses something’s off, he’s not afraid to put on his serious face. As to whether he does it to make others underestimate him…I can definitely see some stock in that theory! Under all that…wigglytuffness, he does seem quite intelligent and strategic. I could see him thinking there’s value in being underestimated—when he approaches everyone with a friendly face and open arms, it would give him time to figure out who’s truly a friend and who’s not (looking at you Team Skull). Plus, I think it would fit with his overall theme. Between the pink squishy exterior and big googly eyes, he doesn’t really look as impressive or intimidating as the other “great” explorers. By presenting himself as less of a threat than he really is, others would be more inclined to let their guard down—and if they have any ill-will, they’d definitely be more likely to slip up around him. But, after all that, I can imagine he’d also want to work out any differences and try to make friends, whether the other party feels inclined to or not :)

[piedpiperart]

It was an interesting read. :) I know very little of the full DC universe, but yeah, you're totally right about that superman and batman thing. it's why Batman is my favorite hero from there. He shows you don't really need a fancy power to be one.

Right?!

It’s one of the main reasons why I like batman so much. I used to really hate Superman growing up and I never really knew why until later. It was cuz it bugged me how he’d always act like he was the know it all on justice, and viewed people with powers or groups or certain actions that didn’t fit his worldview as the bad thing that meant that person was bad.

Superman didn’t really get the black and white, and much like All Might, a lot of that gray is about discrimination. For a lot of small time criminals, they get to where they are because lack of education, money, support, etc. Batman knows this, understands it, makes charities as Bruce Wayne to support people like that. Superman might know but not understand. He’s also not rich so sure he might not be able to solve it really, but he’s still a daylight/spotlight hero. No one would expect Batman to do a press conference on discrimination, but that’s something Superman has the power (and responsibility) to do. It’s what Bruce Wayne does.

This discrimination is a lot like in My Hero Academia. Bad quirks are seen as villainous. Take Hawks and Miruko versus Spinner for example. All three are mutant/body changing quirks based on animals. However the only difference is that Hawks and Mirukos quirks are able to be fetishized by the public/media. Spinners Lizard mutations are seen as gross and momsterous, leading him to a life of crime because of the discrimination he got from kids, adults, when looking for a job, etc.

Miruko being a bunny quirk also had the added stereotype of being weak, meek, shy, etc. She feared getting stuck with those labels and made herself work to be seen and act differently to become a strong powerful hero. But her costume still shows her femininity, people still underestimate her, she’s not overly valued as a hero because she’s not seen as stronger than most of the top ten men heroes, etc.

Same could be said for Shinsou. Evil-stereotyped quirks get certain treatments and can lead to less choices in life for jobs, friends, etc. Stuff like that All Might isn’t aware of and won’t think to advertise or fundraise for.

It’s also the same for people with ‘good’ quirks. How many people do you think were chosen for a job specifically for their quirk? Like lie detector Tsukauchi. Was he pressured into police work? Could you imagine him being a chef or something else? It’s the same with heroes and villains. Could you imagine someone with shigarakis quirk running a coffee shop? Probably not and that’s the problem. Quirks are valued and that makes people valued differently.

Bakugo too is seen as a heroic quirk, but could also easily be spun as a villainous one. Depending on how he was raised and how/where he grew up, he could have been a hero or a villain. It was speculated that bakugos parents are middle class, maybe a bit richer. What do you think would have happened if Bakugo was poor? If he went to a school district in a different area? If they saw him as a thug instead of a hero. You think he would have been able to keep his snappy personality? Or would he be forced to keep his head down so no one would feel threatened and call the police on him?

There’s so many different layers to quirks and quirk discrimination that All Might and Superman type heroes are generally unaware of. You can see this with Iron man and the xmen. Iron man in the mcu wants the Accords, that have restrictions on mutants and want mutants to be documented. He, as a person without powers, doesn’t understand how this would affect the lives of people like Peter or Wanda (which is one big arguement I would have for having peter on team iron man but he’s also a gullible kid here so I’ll let it slide) and often in xmen comics the accords screw over many many mutants. (Prime example is Cloud 9) Xmen also have issues though. Take a look at Charles Xavier, who, in many comics and even shows like xmen evolution, puts much more time and effort into helping the mutants who could pass as normal humans or come from good backgrounds or have useful powers.

Take xmen evolution, where Charles doesnt put effort into helping the brotherhood as much as he could have. He doesn’t spend time helping the kids with problems that parents would, instead focusing on training and etc. Many xmen leave because they’re not receiving the help they need. Mutants like nightcrawler, beast, toad, etc. are often overlooked because they don’t have ‘cool’ powers. This can also be said for hulk. These type of powers are seen as less or worse or evil, etc.

In one spiderman cartoon, peter starts mutating uncontrollably into a giant spider. Xmen who look perfectly normal are like you should accept yourself for who you are, sorry we can’t help you. Meanwhile Beast knows exactly what Peter is going through and helps him in a way that actually matters, in a way that he needs. So. It shows that even within marginalized groups there’s different groups or levels within that can be at odds.

It also shows a lot of parallels to real life struggles with poc, lgbt, disabled, neurodivergent, and women’s rights,etc. in the LGBT community there’s many parallels to xmen and the TYPE of sexuality/gender you are. Gay people are discriminated against yes but they can and do often exclude trans people or people of more specific (or less marketable, etc) sexualities or people of color or disabled people within that community. Just like Xmen and certain good or bad powers. Or quirks and the discrimination surrounding that.

I think mutants or quirks in general that have a visible outward appearance are particularly interesting in this case. Media and society play a huge part in whether or not certain people are socially acceptable/good/bad. Back to the point about Spinner versus Hawks. Hawks and Miruko are fetishized by the media, hero society, etc. You don’t see Ryuku(I forgot her name but the dragon lady in MHA) who can turn into a full on dragon, being marketed the same way. Spinner and Gang Orca (I’m talking about in the anime not in real life, shush) are not being fetishized by the media or heroes, were bullied in much the same ways and are seen as scary. Ectoplasm too. You also don’t see them closer to the top ten heroes rank. You don’t see them much in the show either.

Even in Class 1-A, you see clearly what is being valued when you look at the main characters. What are their quirks? Ah yeah strong ones, right. But do they have anything that would allude to them not having a normal physical appearance? Nope. Tsuyu occasionally because while she is frog she can be marketed as sexy and cute to the public. Mina is harder to do than Tsuyu but still can be marketed as cute ‘despite’ her eyes, skin, horns, etc. You know who won’t be marketed like that? Tokoyami and Shoji and Kouda. You hardly ever see them in the anime either. Not main character material. Not classified as cute, etc. harder for business students to market them as heroes, seen as not as strong, etc. I guarantee the writers coulda made tokoyami a powerhouse, could have done so much with Mina’s acid or Kouda controlling animals.

So not only is it shown in anime, it’s also marketed that way to the viewers who prefer the cute boys, etc., it’s not as popular a show if the mcs aren’t cute. Same with MCU and DC movies. Justice league movie? Great but let’s take out hawkwoman and Martian manhunter. Only sexy men and one woman allowed. Avengers? Great but let’s focus on the ones without discrimination and limit parts with Bruce Banner and get villains that are aliens and very clearly ‘other’.

One movie that was great with this was guardians of the galaxy in that they had clear differences physically and not in a sexy alien fetish way. I liked that, that they were a ragtag group of very very different people and still made a family. (Leaving out the latest love and thunder movie tho) But in that show it was clear to see that the main characters were not all the stereotypical white men and women with cool and a useful powers. Sure they still had one white dude but I think it’s great he doesn’t have any actual powers.

Deadpool also does an awesome job with this!! Having disabilities, plus size characters, key women characters (domino) other than the one girl who was a plot device (Vanessa) and poc (russel and domino), etc. and a lesbian couple! Love it. And I love the found family aspects and the diversity! It makes me happy to see.

Even deadpool in deadpool 2 shows that xmen has issues within them. In that conference room most were white men tbh. They value certain kinds of people and often the rest of the mutants with unfavorable powers go with Magneto, just to be accepted even if he’s got evil and bad intentions. To me, Charles and Erik have bad intentions and don’t actually care about helping the mutants have a safe space, they’re mostly focused on how the rest of society will accept them. Charles wants to do it peacefully and magneto wants to do it forcefully. They don’t actually set up any kind of contingencies or start petitions and laws and policies that will actually help these poor kids. (Ex. Morlocks)

In the justice league too, you can see the characters with more physical differences like Martian manhunter, lagoon boy, beast boy, etc. aren’t many. They’re not seen as main character material, not able to be marketable in the same sexy way that Hawkwoman could be, etc. they’re underutilized in the league and underrepresented. Take killer croc or the killer shark guy. There’s literally so few of them around in DC comics and movies and aren’t marketed to the general audience. Like, there’s a reason why Marvel focuses on certain characters over others. Reason why they focus on avengers over xmen. But it’s changing and more diverse characters are being represented so that’s good. Hope they keep it up👍

Anyways this is getting super long so I’ll leave it here, sorry if it doesn’t make sense? But I just love talking about stuff like this

[one-strugling-bean]

I gotta say I'm surprised there aren't more people creating content for Debbie Kang and Howard.

And I'm not just saying shipping content. I do think they could be a cute couple, if Howard grew up a little. Like, "Debbie Meddle" was such a fun episode, full of notable moments, but my favourite part had to be Howard and Debbie. Their few interactions were so fun and tension-filled - like enemies battling a game of minds.

I could totally watch an entire episode where it's just these two fighting.

Howard gets mad at Kang for something and starts doing his best to annoy her

She's trying to prevent his stupid pranks from happening until she eventually gives that up in order to give Howard a taste of his own medicine. It ends in a huge school-wide prank war between them.

Theresa and Randy get caught in the middle of it as the tinies right-hand-person, and cute fowlham moments ensue.

Howard and Debbie almost get suspended for the war but then join forces to create the best excuse ever or bribe the principal or something of the like

The episode ends with them expressing their disgust over Fowlham's annoyingly awkward but cute flirting and they bond over that.

The ep closes with Randy & Howard and Theresa & Debbie walking away from each other and Howard and Debbie admitting to their respective besties that mayyyybe the other isn't so bad.

Or-

In an episode where it's a silent war between them over the Ninja's identity - Debbie is already picking up the pieces Randy carelessly leaves on his secret identity, and Howard is the only one that notices (Randy is just so careless about his identity, he would just tell Howard it's fine) so he takes it upon himself to protect his biffer's secret.

Just like that, a war starts. Howard might not be book smart, but he's also far from being dumb, so he can very well keep up with Kang at first, and clue her away from Randy. But Debbie isn't stupid either and quickly figures out it's him. And so, a silent battle of minds begins.

Debbie has learned not to underestimate Howard by now and Howard definitely knows not to underestimate "Scoops Kang" so they come up with the most ridiculous schemes to get one up on the other, and this isn't a one-day thing, it's a week thing, and the whole school is suffering from it. They are destroying the school's careful balance with their pranks and schemes but no one seems to be able to stop them.

Randy is mostly clueless about all this happening but Theresa isn't, so she decides to talk to Randy about it. Randy realises maybe the Ninja could help there.

He does help, somehow, and make the two tinies realise the fight has gone too far. Howard and Debbie weren't even fighting for a cause anymore, they were just having fun playing games with each other. Realizing the damage they're doing to the school they reluctantly agree to call it a truce, but Debbie swears to Howard she won't stop trying to prove who's the Ninja and what he has to do with it, and Howard just "we'll see about that" and yeah.

Randy is just left kinda "what just happened" and Howard's like "it seems I gained a nemesis"

Or even-

This is merely a personal headcanon but i think Howard would just know, so. much. gossip. Like, with his sister being who she is, and his bff being the Ninja and all, he'd have dirt on everybody.

Also, i might be wrong here, but i imagine Heidi and Debbie don't really like each other much. So i had this idea.

One day, Heidi does something that really pisses the two tinies off and they just, team-up to get revenge on her. They create an anonymous blog that reveals a bunch of juicy gossip, and confirms conspiracy theories and secrets and the like.

With Howard's prowess at getting out of sticky situations, his quick thinking and good acting, and Debbie's journalistic sixth sense, intelectual prowess and determination, the two of them are an unstoppable force, seemingly capable of digging up and proving anything and everything.

At first, they don't really like working together, but as the blog keeps growing and they work together more, they start to appreciate the other as true a partner in crime.

Eventually, Debbie suggests they start tackling bigger cases, and, as you can guess, she tries to convince Howard to join her on her quest for the Ninja's identity. Howard is very torn on this, as he's reallly grown fond of their work on the blog, but he just can't betray Cunningham, not like that, so he makes up an excuse.

I'm not sure how a plot like this could end, but i thought something along the lines of Howard acting like a complete douche to her so she gives up on their partnership - he's a little heartbroken about it, because it had been fun being with her - and she does, wailing on how betrayed she feels, and how she'll never forgive him and i am such an idiot i shouldn't have trusted you, and yadda yadda.

Episode closes with, on one side, Randy comforting Howard over the whole "being a shoob to Kang for no reason to save your identity" thing, and on the other, Debbie admiting to herself she knew Howard was being a douche on purpose to avoid the Ninja case and adds that to her list of possible clues on the hero's identity.

Her last remark before the ep ends is that, although for a very little time, she kiiiinda did have fun with Howard. (not that she'd ever admit it to anyone though)

[bigskydreaming]

Headcanon that everyone within the family may think of Dick as the one most in their father’s favor, but Dick is keenly aware that the general public thinks of him as their father’s ‘Consolation Prize.’

After all, when from their perspective he’s the one Bruce raised since he was eight as his ward, with that dissolving when he was eighteen and very little perceived contact between the two of them for years after that, while Jason was adopted soon after being taken in and Dick was then later adopted years after Jason’s death, without any public fanfare.....

What does that look like other than Bruce ‘settling’ for the son who didn’t appear to be his first choice, just chronologically first, once he lost Jason but still needed/wanted an heir, as he was getting older and the general public still didn’t know yet how closely tied Tim was to the family or that it wouldn’t be long after this that Bruce adopted him too?

Now granted, you can definitely perceive the above as overly angsty and not the only way this situation was likely to be perceived outside the family, but my point is more that like.....nobody ever presumes that the general public are overly kind or generous in their views or assumptions about the Wayne family behavior. I just don’t buy that people assumed there was some optimistic explanation for the way things appeared here, or that people just went “oh its probably because the kid who grew up in that house the longest just doesn’t WANT to be adopted by the billionaire and have all the security that brings, and that’s also clearly why he lives in Bludhaven of all places and a shitty apartment building at that.”

I mean, no matter what WE the readers may know of Dick’s personal priorities and how little he cares about where he lives or that Bruce would have willingly paid for him to have a better place to live if he really wanted it, is that what people are most likely to assume, based on appearances?

Anyway, I’m just saying, I bet it bugs the crap out of Dick to hear his siblings casually refer to him as so obviously enjoying favored son status and being the clear apple of Bruce’s eye, as he’s like, cue internal monologue: gee, sure wish I was as confident of that back during the years he seemed to want nothing to do with me.

Like I’ve said before, I think Dick isn’t actually super insecure and his insecurities such as they are mostly revolve around how his family and friends perceive him, not the general public.....BUT I do think that with as high profile as the Waynes are, there’s no way that nobody picked up on how little contact Dick and Bruce had in the continuities where they literally went over a year without even speaking to each other....and like, felt free to draw their own conclusions.

 And I do think this is also part of why I default to thinking a lot of canon takes and headcanons tend to gloss over how shitty Gotham public could be in their views/treatment of Dick. Like just because Dick was basically trained from birth to be able to work a room and entertain people while in their direct presence, that didn’t actually make him ‘one of them’ in their eyes, and I reeeeeeaally don’t think you can actually underestimate the pettiness and jealousy one percenters feel when they see someone they inherently view as lesser than them - as they would’ve viewed both Dick and Jason due to their lower class births - like....’leap frogging’ over them into greater wealth via being taken in by Bruce. 

Like, idk, maybe it just comes from having been a scholarship kid who went to a richy rich private high school attended mostly by the children of senators and hotel-chain owners, lol, but like.......I can not for a second picture Gotham’s upper class actually LIKING Dick or being as charmed by him as they frequently are depicted as, just because Dick knows how to be charming and likable. Like they might play it that way when in public at a gala, for appearances or whatever....but the second he turned around they’d be badmouthing him at juuuuust a high enough volume to ensure he’d be able to HEAR them but not be able to call them on it without it looking like he went back and provoked a scene over something ‘nobody else around them heard them say’ or whatever. Just to make sure that no matter how well he came across in public social settings, he never ‘forgot his place’ or whatever or forgot that they were all too aware of it too.

And also also, it always kinda bemuses me that as much focus as the Court of Owls and Talons get in Dick’s narratives in canon and fic, that we’ve barely ever seen any examination of what the Court retroactively means for Dick’s years growing up around upper class Gothamites who likely included more than a few Court members.....like, we KNOW years later that like, all along there were these people who even without knowing who Batman and Robin were, like, knew Dick Grayson was their ‘Gray Son’ and intended to claim him as their weapon someday, and you can’t tell me that wouldn’t have factored into how they viewed and interacted with a child and teenage Dick Grayson as they attended many of the same social gatherings and functions. OR that Dick himself in the aftermath of the Court of Owls reveal, didn’t look back at his OWN childhood and reflect on how many creepy or uncomfortable encounters he had with various socialites that left him feeling decidedly skeeved out and not a fan of how they were looking at him or things they might have said to him, thinking themselves oh so clever for alluding to things he had no idea about......like, I imagine there had to be more than a few encounters from his younger years that always stuck with him, and after the Court of Owls revelation like....looked TOTALLY different to him, especially if he happened to know for sure that some of those very people were in fact Court members. BUT I DIGRESS.

All in all though it all circles back to the same thought for me.....people might have been polite to Dick’s face when he was growing up, but they most likely had plenty of shit to say the second his back was turned, and I doubt they were afraid to be overheard by him. Especially in his later years, once people noticed how distant he and Bruce seemed to be, and thus perceived that as meaning that nineteen year old Dick Grayson wasn’t as ‘protected’ by Bruce the way he was when he was younger.....meaning the people who were most jealous of Dick’s ‘catapulting’ up the social ladder and eager to knock him down a peg because of that, like....probably would have looked at the relative lack of contact between he and Bruce as far as anyone could publicly tell, and felt emboldened enough by that to up their snide whisper game with shit like gossipping about how oh, the Grayson boy may be back in Gotham again, but we all know he’s just poor Brucie’s consolation prize anyway, why, if he really cared all that much about the boy, he’d hardly have ever let him run off to Bludhaven of all places, without even making sure to staple the advantages and opportunities granted by the Wayne name to him the way he made sure to right off the bat with the younger one.....

So yeah. There’s my angsty musings on how Dick likely is perceived by Gotham public at large, and how his interactions with them - especially when NOT around Bruce and Jason and the rest of his family....probably very much does not match up with what they assume public perception of Dick is, given that in their eyes ‘everybody loves Dick Grayson,’ but in Dick’s experience ‘everybody may be charmed by Dick Grayson while he’s doing his best to be charming,’ but don’t mistake that for acceptance. Not when Gotham’s public are just as likely to dismiss him as the second choice Wayne heir and consolation prize to make themselves feel more important/elevated than him the second their own insecurities have them feeling intimidated by the wealth, power and prestige Dick does actually share in by virtue of being part of Bruce’s family.

[fangirlovestuff]

The Heart Wants What it Wants - Chris Evans x reader pt.1

a/n- Hey lovely people! i’ve actually been working on this one for a while now, hope you enjoy! summary is half taken from a pinterest post lol <3

Summary: Honest feelings and bad timing make the most painful combination. You meet Chris in a party and you hit it off, but what next?

Warnings: SMUT, age gap, angst, slight underage drinking

You entered the big house, your eyes shifting across the room to see who's there. With another fancy award show night done, all you wanted to do was go back to the hotel, take a shower and go to sleep. Alas, Scarlett convinced you to come to this after party someone she knew was throwing.

Now you were stuck here, in whoever's party, while your friend Scarlett Johansson – which was still a weird thing to say – was mingling about. Scarlett and you had an unlikely friendship, seeing as you were so much younger than her. You met her on set for your first movie ever, Enchanted Storm, in which you played half-sisters, quickly becoming close off screen as well. Now, one year later, you've guest starred on a few tv shows and made another movie, claiming your place as one of the youngest rising stars in Hollywood. You didn't know that many people personally yet, only recognizing them from movie posters. Scarlett always urged you to get to know more people, but you still felt like you didn't fully belong and preferred to mostly keep to yourself in these events. There was one person in particular Scarlett wanted you to meet – Chris Evans.

One day on the set, you were already pretty close and you asked her if it was really true that she and Chris never dated. Personally, you didn't believe it – how can two wonderful and super attractive people spend so much time together and not have feelings for each other, you didn't understand. "We never did," Scarlett smiled, "why? Do you have something in mind?" she raised her eyebrow at you. "Of course not!" you objected a bit too quickly, "I was just asking because of, like, the… the gossip, you know."

But from that day, Scarlett never let go of the idea you had a thing for Chris Evans. A ridiculous idea. He was so much more famous than you, likely not knowing you existed and also older, so being the realist you were, why would you like him, right?

Wrong. Very wrong. You were totally crushing on Chris Evans. But you never admitted it to Scarlett, because you worried she'll try and set you up and he wouldn't want you, or worse – that she'd outright tell you that you didn't stand a chance and it was just a joke.

At every possible chance Scarlett tried to get you two to meet, but you managed to avoid it, time after time. You didn't want to make a fool of yourself in front of your celebrity crush, and no one could blame you, you thought indignantly.

Your eyes continued their journey around the room, and you caught a familiar face from the corner of your eyes. Speak of the devil, you thought as your eyes registered who it was- Chris Evans. You knew it was only a matter of time until Scarlett realized he was here and try to get you to talk to him. And you didn't think you could escape it this time, seeing as you didn’t know anyone else in the party.  

At 19, you weren't allowed to legally drink, but usually no one cared in these places, so you made your way to the makeshift bar, asking for a glass of wine. You needed it if you wanted to survive the night.

As you waited, leaning your elbows on the bar with your back to the room, you felt a person coming to stand next to you. "One beer please," said the deep voice beside you, and you froze, immediately recognizing who it was.

The bartender came back carrying both your glass of wine and his beer. "Thanks," you both said in unison. You finally looked up at Chris and you smiled at each other. "Hi," you said hesitantly.

"Aren't you a little young to be drinking?" he raised his brow at you, smirking. You chuckled, "Only a little."

"Chris," he introduced himself, put out his hand and you shook it. His hand was big and warm in comparison to yours. You could swear you felt a jolt of electricity when your hands touched, but you probably just imagined it. Cool the eff train down, you said to yourself, and introduced yourself warmly to Chris.

"Oh, you did that movie with Scarlett, right? Can’t believe I didn't recognize you!" He chuckled. "You were great!"

"Thanks," you said, your gaze shifting down before you willed yourself to look back up and smile at Chris. "You're Captain America, so I'm sure you already get tons of compliments, but you really are great in these movies."

He scratched the back of his neck. "Thanks," he smiled. "Can’t believe I didn’t meet you yet though," his eyebrows furrowed. He took a seat on a barstool nearby and you joined, sitting on another one beside him.

"So, how are you liking Hollywood so far? You've had some major jobs, didn’t you?" Chris asked, sipping his beer.

"I guess I was in some pretty mainstream shows," you shrugged, genuinely underestimating your fame. "Everyone was very kind, you know?" you said. "Like, I feel like everyone I've worked with has taught me something. And they've been very patient to the newbie, which I'm very thankful about," you smiled fondly. Talking to Chris was surprisingly easy. You avoided meeting him for so long, afraid to become a stuttering mess in front of the movie star, but so far it was going very well.

"Well I'm really glad to hear that. What's that like? I mean, getting such a big break on your first role must've been pretty overwhelming." He smiled sympathetically. "It was," you said, a bit thrown off by the question. No one ever assumes fame has a bad side. Other than famous people, I guess. "Don't get me wrong," you added quickly, "I'm incredibly thankful for the opportunities I've gotten. It's just, this world is so… different than the one I grew up in. Coming from a small town like I do, you know the type, where everyone knows everyone," Chris nodded in understanding, "it's hard to transition to Hollywood. I always joke about how everyone knows everyone here too, just from movie posters." Chris chuckled at that and you swallowed, flustered. "Anyway, everything's just really different here, but a lot of the time it's good different." You smiled, secretly proud of yourself for finishing the sentence without stumbling over your words.

"Yeah, I get that feeling too sometimes. Actually, it’s most of the time. I mean, when my brother Scott first came out here, he was shocked at how many people recognized me. But you get used to it." He smiled, one side of his mouth tilting upwards more than the other. "This one time, a fan came up to Scott and I, and we were…"

Chris and you spent the entire night together, exchanging stories that gradually became more and more personal as Chris drank a little more. You stopped yourself after that one glass of wine, you knew your limits. Except for the stories, the subtext became more and more prominent as the night went on. Looks were held longer, eyes lingered on lips pink tongues darted out to wet, hands swatted playfully when one of you laughed and stayed there for more than they should. Scarlett left at some point, but you didn't even notice. You and Chris seemed to have had this kind of bubble around you, surrounding you with a buzzing warmth. You each enjoyed the other's company, getting wrapped up in conversation to a point where you were feeling comfortable like you knew each other for years.

A small voice in your head whispered that maybe you do. You read somewhere that everything in the universe, humans as well, were essentially created from stardust. Some people were created from the dust of the same star; made to reconnect and shine. You dismissed the thought with an internal scoff at the cheesiness of it, but you couldn't deny something was drawing you to Chris like a moth to a flame, and it wasn't the fact he was famous, it was the fact he was him. But he was a flame nonetheless, you reminded yourself. You could never ever be seen in public with Chris. Even if it's something as innocent as getting coffee, people talk. Undoubtedly some people will say you're dating in secret; people love to invent that type of shit. And that's where the mess starts, because even if you felt so close now, he was so much older than you. That's a reality you couldn't escape – when he was starting to act, you were probably a baby. It didn't feel like that, but you knew that's what people would say, and how devastating the affect on both of your careers would be. He was a flame, and you knew that warmth was only temporary, because you couldn't possibly condemn your career like this. You couldn't do that to yourself or to him. You could have tonight, but that's it.

The night stretched on; the party dwindled. You realized Scarlett was nowhere in sight and cursed under your breath.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his brows furrowed in concern.

"Scarlett left and she was my ride home," you sighed. "Guess I'll just call a cab, I should be going," you smiled.

"Let me split the cab with you," Chris offered. "Where are you staying?"

You told him the name of the hotel and he nodded in recognition. "My hotel's in that direction, let's go." He got up and offered you his hand, which you accepted and got up. You both got your coats and went into the cool night air to wait for the cab.

You were unsure of what to say, but the silence between the two of you was comfortable. It stayed around you, a protective cloud as you both entered the cab, Chris telling the driver the address of your hotel. You make small talk with the driver on your way, but your heart isn't in it. You hated that the night was over so quickly.

You got to your hotel, paying your part to the driver. "I'll see you to the door," Chris says.

"Well I ain't waiting around for you to come back," the driver said. "Alright, good night then," Chris said to the driver and went out of the car with you. "You sure?" you asked. "Yeah, I'll just catch another cab," he shrugged.

You entered the hotel, which was silent at this hour of the night. "If I'm already getting another cab, guess I'll see you to your room then," he moved his hand in an 'after you' motion and you giggled.

At last, you got to your room. "It was great meeting you," Chris started hesitantly. "Yeah, you too," you said softly.

His eyes darted towards your lips, quickly rising back up to find yours. You noticed how painfully close you were standing. Like magnets drawn to each other, you lifted your head and he bent down to meet you halfway, lips touching hesitantly, each of you unsure of how much the other wanted this. You wrapped your hands around his neck and his hands went to your hips, tentatively pulling you closer. You gasped into his mouth as his tongue touched your lips, asking entrance which you granted quickly. The kiss got more and more heated, tongues clashing passionately, hands exploring eagerly. You broke the kiss off to breath, your foreheads touching and your heavy breath mixing with his, your hands resting on his cheeks.  

"Chris, it's not that I don’t want this but…" you whispered, your voice nearly cracking. His eyes met yours and he closed them, eyelashes resting on his cheeks as he sighed. "I know. I just…" He breathed deeply and his gaze met yours once more. He bit his lip. "Can we have this, just for tonight?"

Your thoughts raced a mile a minute while the world around you seemed to stop. You both knew the implications of this, that much was clear. But was letting yourself have that one night was really a good idea?

Your brain might have thought this, but you knew it was in vain. Every fiber of your being wanted him; an army led by your heart.

You took the keycard out of your purse, moving away from Chris and unlocking the door to your room. You turned back to him and returned to his arms.

"Just for tonight," you whispered and smiled, a little sadly.

In a second his lips were back on yours, tongue entering your mouth, tasting hungrily. He led you gently into the room and you reached to lock the door behind you, mouth not leaving his. Your hand slipped under his shirt, feeling his toned, warm torso flexing under your touch. His hands traveled from your back, where they were holding you tightly, to your hips, grabbing your butt through the material of your dress.

Your hands reached his back, scratching slightly as he groaned into your mouth. You pulled off his shirt, admiring the view for about two seconds, before you couldn't bear being away from him. You expressed your admiration with your mouth, kissing along his jaw, his collarbones. His hands reached the hem of your dress, pulling it above your head. You lifted your hands and tossed it aside as his heated gaze settled over your underwear clad form. He started kissing your neck, sucking and biting until he reached the sweet spot behind your ear. "God, you're so beautiful," he whispered huskily, biting your earlobe playfully. You moaned softly, your hands reaching to undo his belt. His lips make their way to your upper breasts where he busies himself sucking a mark. You push his pants down and he steps out of them, pulling you flush against him. He lifts you up and you wrap your legs around him as he carries you to the large bed.

He tosses you on the bed and quickly climbs up above you, your lips meeting once more as he reaches to unclasp your bra, freeing your boobs. His lips wrap around your nipple, flicking it with his tongue while repeating the action with his hand on your other nipple. You gasp and arch your chest into his touch.

"Chris," you moan. He meets, your eyes, eyebrow raised in a cocky silent question. You slam your lips against his, hand tugging at his hair as you move to straddle him, rolling your hips. You feel the length of him, hard, and through the two layers of underwear separating you both, you can feel how big he is. You begin to grind against him and he groans into your kiss.

He shifts you both, and you're once again under him as he cups your pussy through your panties, rubbing a little as your hips lift towards his touch involuntarily. He pulls your underwear off, leaving you completely naked under his gaze. "So pretty," he murmurs as his lips travel on your sensitive thighs. "So wet for me."

He's getting closer to where you want him to be and you buck your hips. He brings his lips to your pussy and chuckles, the sound against your sensitive parts sending a shiver down your spine. He starts sucking on you slowly, lapping up your juices. His lips wrap around your clit and you moan loudly. Your hips dart forward as your hand tangles in his hair, urging him on. He slips his finger inside you and starts moving it in and out of you as his tongue continues to tease your clit. You start quivering under him and he curls his finger, hitting your g-spot as his tongue flicks and sucks on your clit. "Cum for me baby," he hums against your clit, and the words send you over the edge. You tremble as he continues to press his tongue against your clit as waves of pleasure course through your body.

You come down from your high as his lips make their way across your body, leaving open-mouthed kisses as he goes. He kisses you deeply and you can still taste yourself on him, moaning into his mouth. Your hand reaches down inside his boxers, stroking his thick shaft as you pushed the material down with your other hand. He groans into your kiss as you continue to move your hand, grazing his tip gently as you tossed his boxers aside. His fingers trail along your body, reaching down and teasing your entrance. Your hips move against his hand in a silent plea to touch you. His fingers move inside you, his thumb pressing your clit as your hand continues to touch him.

"I need you," you whisper into your kiss. "God," he whispered huskily as his fingers left your clit and he lined himself with your entrance. His eyes met yours, silently asking for permission one more time. You moaned, bucking up your hips and kissing him heatedly. He entered you slowly, giving you time to adjust to his large size. You felt a burning sensation at the stretch he gave you, but it subsided quickly, left you feeling nothing but pleasure as he continued to move himself into you.

He finally bottomed out and you gasp, feeling so full you could burst. "Fuck," he muttered against you as he moved to suck on your neck, leaving a mark on your collarbone. When you felt ready you rocked your hips, needing him to start moving. He set a maddeningly slow pace, driving deeply into you. "Chris," you moaned. "Use your words baby," he answered.

"Faster Chris please, please go faster," you felt yourself throbbing around him as he rammed himself into you, going faster and faster, hitting your g-spot with every deliberate thrust of his hips. You felt a knot of pleasure forming in your stomach, and you were just about ready to unravel at Chris' touch. "I'm- I'm gonna-" you panted, feeling yourself nearing the edge. "Let go for me," Chris whispered in your ear, bringing his hand to stimulate your clit.

You came with a loud moan, your legs, wrapped around his hips were trembling, your pussy was clenching around him. He pulled out of you, his hand reaching to stroke his still hard dick. You came to your senses quickly enough, switching his hand with yours as you kissed him deeply. You sucked a mark onto his chest, picking up your pace. He came with a guttural groan, breath heaving. You kissed him once more before going to get a towel to clean you both up.

That night you both stayed there, wrapped around each other, legs tangled. You drifted off to sleep as you listened to the steady beat of his heart thrumming from his warm chest.

You couldn’t have tomorrow, but you could have tonight.

[i-did]

HELLO 👋 I WAS SENT HERE BY PALMETT-HOES. What are your thoughts on the foxes + tattoos?? Originally it was Neil + tattoos but if you have thoughts of the other foxes too I'd love to hear them if you want to share 🥺

Okay, so I actually might try to become a tattoo artist and love tattoo culture. I also have already about 30 tattoos, some the size of my whole hand and some the size of a quarter, a lot of mixed and matched stuff. I also always try to think of the foxes in their timeline, so 2006-2007 era, and when I think said foxes would get tattoos in their life and why. 

NEIL

First off: I personally HC Neil has keloid scarring and a lot of scarring so tattooing is hard on his skin. I have a friend who has more scars than I've ever seen on anyone else IRL before and we both love tattoos but even with him trying to prep the artist, unless they were a scar micropigmentation expert, they usually underestimated how hard it was going to be to tattoo on his skin. It's uneven and dense and doesn’t hold ink well. His non-scarred skin faired a lot better but his skin was something artists just weren't prepared for. I might get some micropigmentation on some skin grafts I got to even out the coloring and make it look more “natural” but I’m waiting to see if the pigment will settle and heal more first. 

I personally don't see Neil ever getting a tattoo, and this bums a lot of people out lmao. I think his scars are too thick and too raised and it's too cosmetic and aesthetic centric for it to be something on his radar. On his skin that isn't touched by scars I think he would want to leave as be mostly out of neutrality. I don't see Neil as the type of sentimental tattooer, I see him thinking “well if it matters to me I remember it” sort of and him wanting to keep the really deep stuff personal just for himself and even another person putting it on him is someone else there. I think if he were ever to get a tattoo, he would be like… idk it would be the kind that says “yes I got shot, stop asking” over a bullet hole scar or like that one guy whos missing his leg and above it there's a tattoo that says “one foot in the grave” that's the only type of tattoo I can see Neil doing and even still I'm not convinced he would do it. 

ANDREW

I don't ever see Andrew covering up his scars with tattoos either. I think he likes how the armbands can come on and off and be fully covered to not at all. He's not ashamed of them but he's private, and I think the tattoos could seem like he's trying to hide them when he's not-it's just nobody's business. I think if he were to get anything it would be American-traditional, it ages well, its classic, and doesn't really go out of style. Before the…. Let's say 80s, there weren't the different tattoo “styles” like there are today. It was just… tattoos in America. There was Japanese-style tattooing and then American-style tattooing, and since tattooing started curating its underground culture in the ’50s in America… those circles did not blend. They do now, but they sure as hell didn't then. So I could see Andrew with American-traditional because it's classic and I could see it appealing to him, but I could also see Russian prison tattoo style black-work something that appeals to him too. Get him some gulag tats. However if he had those, and since I currently HC him as white and with a buzzed or grown-out messy buzzed head, he would deadass look like a fuckin skinhead so... yeah lmao. Overall I don't see Andrew getting tattoos really, but if he would, American-traditional seems fitting. 

KEVIN

Okay, so Kevin out here looking like a MF SoundCloud rapper with his single face tat and nothing else going on. I know it might be OOC but since his mom is Irish and I HC his dad as Maori (even tho in the canon Wymack likely has 90s new age tribalism, which is a complicated issue but instead I choose culturally significant tattoos over the tattoo trend that was largely popularized by a movie lmao anyways-).

So I think Kevin is the only one who dives into tattoo culture and bonds over it with his dad. If he just has the chess piece, it still feels like a branding, like a mark so distinct against the rest of him, but one full sleeve of Celtic knots and symbols and the other arm full of Maori's distinct tattoos of swirls and symbols could be a cool way for him to reclaim his own skin and have it not be something he did just to cover something up, but make tattooing something connecting him to his cultures and family. 

NICKY

Nicky is the guy who got like, fierce, or pride, or something like that tattooed if he got a tattoo. I see Nicky getting a pride tattoo of some kind maybe and it being calligraphy or like if Nicky/Erik is a bear then he gets a bear paw. I could also see him getting his and Erik’s wedding date tattooed somewhere. I also don't see him as the type who didn't know how much research and shit goes into finding the artist for you, and kinda assumes you can go to just anyone and just walk in and then was like “wait what” when he couldn’t (or couldn't if he wanted to get exactly what he had in mind) so he probably got/gets tattooed by some non-homophobic apprentice, maybe even that apprentices first tattoo, and also since Nicky is Mexican and darker-skinned I doubt he thinks to put on sunscreen and the sun makes his ink lines bleed and so it doesn't age the best (it be like that). 

ALLISON

Got a trendy tramp stamp to like, really stick it to her parents. Right on her lower back I bet it's the classic 2000s swirls and a butterfly and some of those stars, idk what they're called. If she was a young 20-year-old now tho she totally would have gotten a fine line tattoo, like not a tight three, a real 1 needle tattoo. They were seen as really nice back then and “so Cali” and like I could see /maybe/ her getting it done before she's 30 but they were not that common yet and like micro-realism is so new we still kinda don't know how it's going to age at all since tattoos before it have been designed they way they have for aging. Again if she got a micro-realism/single needle tattoo tho it would be something kinda basic like a butterfly or like a lion. I swear I've seen the same google image lion tattooed on a lotta people and like IDC it's your skin. But yeah, she gets the classic 2000s swirl butterfly and stars tattoo above her crack one night, maybe after a really bad phone call with her parents and she got drunk and pissed off. Maybe someone said she couldn't take the pain. (which btw, tattoos don’t hurt as much as they make them out to be in shows and shit, they can hurt tho)

DAN

I HC Dan as very dark-skinned, she's 75% black and 25% Sioux and grew up in a very very white area when outside her home on the res. Tattoo culture is still really sexist and really colorist, and at this point in history I think if she ever did want a tattoo, she maybe asked vaguely about it and they flat out said “I don't know how to tattoo on black skin” or “it doesn't go with my art” which… are shithole excuses and I think she thought, “well fuck u too” and never thought about it much since then. 

RENEE

I HC as Renee as darker-skinned than Dan, and like the only places she could possibly get tattooed are maybe her palms, the bottoms of her feet, or her inner mouth probably. Some people genuinely are so dark that tattooing is hard, because it's based on the concept of black ink on a lighter surface, which is why scarification catches on in cultures where the skin is too dark to pigment with ink effectively. However, the idea of fuckin, 15-year-old Renee who is still Natalie with “PU$$Y” tattooed in her mouth kinda sends me. I think lil kid Renee thought she was gangster, and tbh she was, and I could see her getting some “fuck you/in your face” tattoo, especially if she was a lesbian in such a homophobic world, getting that tattooed is even better. We also know she got her back tatted in the EC with angel wings that look almost closer to dragon wings, so I imagine they show up as almost raised dark lines like scars from the untrained tattoo artist going way too deep, making it a cross between a tattoo and scarification, even if accidental. (also white ink really wasn't a thing yet and even now is still kinda hard to tell how it will heal, so that's why I don't think she gets any white ink tats)

MATT

He's a rich boy from NYC, he could really get like… whatever he wants. Once he's famous he can afford it that's for sure, but even before then he could with his allowance similar to Allison (even if on a completely different level). However, I doubt he gets anything lol. He's not particularly religious in my HC and doesn't have the same sense of being lost like I feel Kevin does with his own parents (I mean Kevin was raised like an orphan, kinda so it makes sense). I need to develop Matt’s background further on what it means to him personally to be a Filipino-American. I have several ideas about how his parents met in the Philippines and then came here but I would need to flesh out locations and then local cultures and then his parents said opinions on tattoos and then how matt would react to said opinions. I could see him possibly getting something for dan or his kids tattooed on. Which really makes me want to have him get his first kid's name tattooed really big or intricate somewhere like on his chest over his heart and then his kid comes out as trans and he's like “...fuck” lmao and gets it removed maybe and then redone or something. I see him viewing tattoos are personal and symbolic, and if he would get something it would probably be family-oriented, possibly Dan's portrait or like his baby's footprint which I've seen before. 

AARON & SETH

Stick and pokes were not nearly as common then as they are now, and I feel like people kinda have to remember how taboo tattooing was then and still is now in a lot of cultures. My family is Not happy lmaoo. But it is what it is. Stick and Pokes were not a thing bored white middle-class teens did like I see them doing now. It was seen as super sketchy and I know someone who was 16 getting tattooed in a garage by someone who was both drunk and just out of prison for the first time, and that was seen as sketchy as stick and pokes at the time. I could imagine either Seth or Aaron having a failed and fucked up stick and poke tattoo, and out of the two of them, Seth seems like the drunk tat guy. Maybe once he got drunk and mad as fuck after Allison and him broke up and she said he didn't seem serious enough so he got her name drunkenly tattooed on his arm or something and then she was even more pissed because it was spelled wrong “YOU FORGOT THE SECOND L OMFG SETH.” (I can also imagine his future girlfriends don't love it lmao). I also love the idea of Seth just having Marvin the Martian or the Tasmanian Devil tattooed on his ass.

Anyways sorry for the lack of pictures but I didn't want to do that... so I didn't. I didn't go into niche tattoo culture and history like I was expecting myself to but this also got fuckin long. Might not be what you were hoping for at all but it is my current opinion on the foxes and tattoos. (This is also surprisingly free of my own personal aesthetic opinions on tattoos and that I'm kinda proud of ngl, since my preference is none of these, but also I grew up in a very different tattoo time than them)

[anika-ann]

Errare Humanum Est - Pt.20

Feel You Closer

Type: series, soulmate AU series  (part 1, part 2)  x Supernatural

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader      Word count: 3900

Summary: You remember. It’s time you reacquainted with your soulmate.

That’s what you should do, right? Just feel him as close to you as possible.

Warnings: swearing, 18+, nsfw, very light D/s, so much fluff

A/N: Yeah, there’s minimum plot (a bit at the beginning, read that if you want to avoid the explicit chapter and still want to understand what stunt ‘Nat’ will pull next chapter)

A/N 2: Me: I’m not a smut writer. Also me: two last fics/chapters posted on tumblr being explicit. Oops.

Story masterlist ༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

You walked to the room hand in hand, unseen and unheard. Besides Jarvis, of course, but you didn’t even count him anymore. After the many times you had stayed in the Tower, you grew even fond of him. He really was programmed to be sassy, just like his creator, and sass was a language you spoke.

The idea hit you with the snap of the door and you instantly burst into giggles. Steve casted a curious, but warm gaze at your schoolgirl-like fit.

“Tony doesn’t know,” you explained, only to see no understanding dawning on Steve’s face. “He doesn’t know I remember. I have a very strong need to mess with him, even though we had a nice talk.”

“…you had a nice talk?” Steve asked, bewildered. Looking back at it, you were a bit surprised too – but then again, you weren’t. Tony was much more than he let on.

“Uh-uh. Yeah. I asked him about me. About us.”

A shadow of hurt fell on Steve’s face and you realized what it looked like, you seeking another man.

“It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you!” you blurted out immediately, seeing clearly that it didn’t convince him. “I just wanted a different opinion on me. You’re a bit… biased.”

The frown on his face smoothened, the pool of sadness in his eyes gradually vanishing. Instead, his brows lifted along with one corner of his lips.

“Biased?”

“Yep. You were all waxing poetic about me, how amazing I was. I wanted a second opinion, because I knew for sure I… wasn’t… that… that perfect,” you trailed off as Steve’s smile grew wider and wider with each word. “What?”

“And you decided to go to Tony of all people?”

You were surprised by that question. Steve was usually more the one to dwell on you actually being amazing and astounding and stuff, fast to assure you when he spotted only a trace of self-consciousness on you. Not today, apparently, as he focused on the fact you went to the child of a man in the flying suit. You grinned, not minding a bit.

“…that’s fair. But cut me some slack, he looked like he’d be the one to speak openly.”

Steve gave a short laugh, amused twinkle in his eyes. The change in him ever since he had learned you remembered was so stark you couldn’t tear you gaze away. It was mesmerizing – now, his smiles and laughter radiated true happiness.

“That I can’t argue with. Now, what kind of messing around are we talking about?”

At that, you smirked. “Your clothes. I wanna wear your clothes and I need Jarvis to tell me exactly what comment Tony and Clint made when I first entered the kitchen wearing your stuff.”

You might have had more than one goal when saying this. It wasn’t just to cause Tony a fit later… you might want to nudge Steve’s fantasy, knowing all too well what his clothes on you symbolized and how much he enjoyed you wearing them despite denying it till his last breath.

His eyes did grow rounder, much to your satisfaction. You bit your lip, attempting to hide the smirk battling to show on your face for a whole different reason now.

“Maybe throw a bit of foul language in?” you continued and Steve closed his eyes, exhaling slowly. “Just imagine his face – me, walking in, him wanting to comment and me encouraging him, talking about how I actually got thoroughly fucked the previous evening.”

“Every time,” Steve grunted and you tilted your head in wonder, the grin wining the fight and finding its way on your face.

“Mm?”

Steve’s eyes snapped open, black as night, his irises barely visible. Ohhh, this was even better than you had imagined.

“Every time I think I know just how much trouble you are…” he rasped, taking a step closer, forcing you to walk backwards, your back hitting the door after only two steps, effectively trapping you between his frame and the hard surface, an inch between your bodies remaining.

Your breathing ragged as if on command, heart speeding up in anticipation. Steve’s hands rose, palms resting by your head at each side, his face leaning to yours. Your teeth released your lower lip in order to wet it with your tongue, drawing Steve’s gaze like a magnet. Your breath hitched when his lips stayed so painfully close you could feel the heat but didn’t touch, your eyes fluttering close at the sensation. God, your belly was already burning.

“…you always prove me wrong…” he hummed, brushing your lips with his own. You nearly whined when he parted almost instantly and you intended to follow, only for Steve to have your hair trapped in one of his hands to make sure you stayed put. That simple gesture caused your underwear to dampen. “Talking like that when you’re injured and you know nothing can happen.”

His mouth moved to shower your chin and throat with attention, torturously light touches, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Your knees buckled, Steve’s hand quick to catch you, squeezing you between his body and the door to keep you upright.

“See, that’s what I’m talking about. You can barely stand. I wouldn’t want to hurt you,” he mumbled to your throat, but honestly, he didn’t sound convincing in the slightest. More like—more like the opposite actually. He even sounded… demanding?

Did he really start a game now? A little role-play? That’s new.

“But… but I was cleared to leave medical,” you whispered, testing the waters, earning a satisfied grunt.

Oh god, this was happening. There had been glimpses of this before, the dominance; you were pretty sure Steve enjoyed it mostly because of how underestimated he had been before the serum, but the reason didn’t quite matter. It was important that he liked it and you never minded when it showed a little. Now though… oh boy.

“That’s true,” he mused, tickling the side of your neck with his warm breath. “And I was left to take care of you… in charge of your treatment. What only will I do with you, doll?”

Powerplay. This was a powerplay and given how much you trusted Steve, knowing he wouldn’t actually hurt you when playing, you were totally on board.  

The pool of wetness on your underwear only confirmed it.

Steve’s hand urged you to answer, squeezing your hip. Your whole body tingled, a tiny whimper escaping you.

You just needed him close now. With all the madness that had happened, there was nothing you needed more than to feel his body on yours, his hands, his lips, his everything, just to know you two were.

“Anything you want,” you breathed and Steve’s hips thrust forward, deliciously adding friction between your bodies. He was hard as rock and you had a pretty good idea what would make him even harder. You were saving it for now… soon, though.

He raised his head, facing you again, his hand releasing your hair in order to run the pad of his thumb over your lower lip, watching the motion as if hypnotized.

“Anything, you say? That’s quite daring, doll…”

This was it. This was the time.

You peeked at him from under your eyelashes as your tongue kitten-licked his thumb. He didn’t even flinch, but you knew he would at your next words.

“Anything, sir.”

It was his turn to whimper, his hips bucking again, his mouth smacking to yours, both of his hands falling to your waist.

“God, I missed you so much, all of you. Are you sure you’re okay?” he whispered urgently before devouring your mouth again, nearly breathing you in with the vigour. “Tell me and I stop.”

You grabbed his shoulders, trying to pull him impossibly closer.

“I missed you too. And yes. All yours… sir.”

“Christ, woman!”

His palms took handfuls of your backside firmly and your giddy giggle got lost in the moan you both let out, swallowed by the other, your hips moving in synch.

Out of blue, he grabbed your wrists, pinning them to your sides, the display of strength once again sending a thrill through your body.

“Keep them here until I give you the permission to move, okay?” he ordered, the low timbre of his voice striking something right inside your core.

“Yes.”

“Yes, what, doll?” he coaxed, voice deliciously dark.

Oh wow, just wow. You were pretty sure your core just started throbbing.

“Yes, sir.”  

“That’s right,” he praised, taking your mouth again, wordlessly asking for access, though more demanding than usual. You parted your lips, welcoming his tongue as he swept it along your teeth and then met yours.

The order he had given you was way harder than you anticipated; keeping your hands to yourself while his own roamed your body, guiding your hips to meet his for more friction and making your body feel like floating in a sea of pleasure, cupping your breasts… his mouth was taking yours as if his life depended on it, breathing you in and nibbling, retreating only to suck at your neck just when you wanted him, needed him kissing you on your lips… it was the sweetest torture. You craved for his mouth and all you had to do was to touch him and pull him back to you.

But you weren’t allowed.

“Hands up,” he hissed, already tugging at your shirt before you registered what he asked you to do. Your body obeyed automatically, but with delay. Steve didn’t seem to mind, his skilful fingers finding the opening of your bra instead of simply waiting. Before you knew it, your torso was bare, your chest peppered with kisses and a mark sucked under your collarbone.

“Steve…” escaped your lips, your hands twitching, refusing to return to your sides, finding his muscles instead.

He hummed discontentedly, guiding them back to stay along the wall. You couldn’t but whine.

“Please.”

“Please what?” he whispered to your skin and you nearly banged the back of your head against the wall, stopping the last half-inch away. You had hit your head, after all.

“Please, sir. Can I…” Your own breathy moan interrupted your plea when he licked at your nipple. Christ, Steve. “Can I touch you?”

“Mmm…” he hummed, the vibration making the worst and the best things to your brain. You were completely at his mercy and you didn’t even care. Hell, you were enjoying it, but God, you needed to feel his body under your hands. “Not yet.”

The mewl that left your lips was borderline embarrassing, more so since Steve’s mouth left your breast and soothed you with a sweet and dirty kiss, your tongues tangling together.

“Just a little longer. Let me appreciate you, doll. You’re so, so pretty…”

His hot breath, soft lips and a dart of a tongue trailed down your front, one of his hand easily slipping under the hem of your jeans, while the other already worked on the button and tugged them to your knees. He kneeled, glancing up at you with a wicked smile as he stripped them completely with only a little help.

Steve guided your left leg over his shoulder and this time the noise you made was utterly embarrassing, a blend of a squeak, a moan and a whimper and Jesus fucking Christ. He didn’t even get his mouth on you, just the anticipation enough to flood your core. You knew how good he was at that and just the thought-

“Oh, doll, you’re soaking…”

Something in you wanted to snark that yes, you noticed, but another voice, the one that was ridiculously enjoying this game, shut the urge up and whispered another words for you to say.

“Y-yes, sir. Because of you,” your voice trembled slightly and when he looked up at you from his filthy position again, lop-sided smirk on his handsome and usually so innocent face, you were done for.

His finger ran up your slit, making you flinch and bite your lip.

“And just what should I do about it, mm…” he kissed your inner thigh, giving you a very good idea as if you hadn’t had one before. “Would you like me to take care of it? Use my tongue?”

He. Was. So. Fucking. Filthy. And. Mouthy.

And you should feel humiliated at responding him, but you didn’t. You loved it.

“Please… sir,” you breathed out, which gained you another kiss, higher this time, just below the waistline of your panties, one finger looping in them; a sharp tug and they were gone, making you gasp.

“Since you said ‘please’… but you’re gotta watch, doll, alright?”

You gulped. You weren’t sure you were able to do that. You’d come in seconds.

Still, you nodded.

“Speak up, my sweet girl...”

“Yes, sir.”

The first lap of his tongue caused your fists to clench with the need to hold onto something. Anything. His hair looked suitable enough, just like his free shoulder. You chewed on your lower lip.

As if hearing your thoughts, he led your hands to hold onto him. It was bliss – and a freaking reassurance, because you really didn’t want to fall. Not that he would ever let you, but better be sure.

You could barely stand and you couldn’t stand it. The sight of Steve devouring you like this, bringing indescribable pleasure tingling in every cell of your body with his clever tongue was too much. He didn’t even need to use his fingers, finding spots to drive you insane just by licking at them.

You came with a breathy cry, your pulse loud in your ears and with your legs getting wobbly at instant; you were lucky he held you so firmly. He sucked on your clit, sending shocks through your already overwhelmed body, forcing you to moan his name and arch your back. He worked you through it, alternating between praises and soothing your weepy core, slowly driving you down.

You couldn’t fucking speak. Your eyes snapped open when he shifted, lowering your leg back to the ground, placing a kiss under your navel.

“You good?” he rasped and it took a lot of effort to actually reply instead of simply nodding.

“Yes.” He waited. Right. “Sir.”

His big palms caressed your hips, kissing the skin there.

“Feel like returning the favour, doll?” he asked, voice sultry as much as his gaze.

He would have looked innocent, peeking at you from under his eyelashes like that, but his blown irises gave his arousal away. And you knew better than that, very well-aware of where is mouth had just been.

“Be a good girl like that?” he added, causing the air catch in your throat despite your breathing raging.

How was such praise striking something in you, making you want to do anything just to hear it again? Was this just him or did you have a kink you hadn’t been aware of?

It didn’t matter now. You needed to turn off your brain and enjoy this fully.

“If-if that’s what you want, sir,” you stuttered, his forehead resting against your abdomen at the statement. It brought a satisfied smile to your face – perhaps you weren’t the only one who was a little overwhelmed. You stroked his scalp gently. “Anything to please you.”

He let out a choked noise, rising to his feet at instant, his mouth catching yours in a sweet and salty kiss, his unmistakable jeans-cladded hard rocking into your heat.

“Mouthy, aren’t you? Get on your knees, doll,” he ordered as he spun you, suddenly him being the one with his back against the wall.

You obediently slid down and he lost the shirt that was crying for help on his muscled body anyway. It was a mouth-watering sight even from down there. You wordlessly asked for permission to undo his belt, having it granted. You released him from both, his pants and boxers, his erection springing free. Shit, you almost forgot how big he was.

Steve’s hand tenderly slipped into your hair, guiding you to look up. You were surprised when you saw the fraction of concern in his eyes, a question perhaps, breaking the character he had seemed to slide into rather easily.

The pool of warmth in your chest at the gesture was as unexpected as the act itself. Was it strange, perhaps cowardly of you, that you loved he kept checking with you just to make sure that everything he did was alright with you? Did it make you unadventurous and boring that the fact he showed you every now and then that you could trust him completely, was the biggest turn-on of all?

You smiled at him shyly, the simple lift of the corners of your lips reciprocated instantly. The pad of his thumb swept over your lower lip, sending a shiver down your spine.

‘Anything to please you,’ your own words echoed in your head, resonating with truth. You loved him. You did want to make him happy so badly, as much as you knew he wanted you to be.

You kissed the tip of his member, soon taking him between your lips. His hand never released your hair, though his eyelids fluttered shut, shameless moan of satisfaction escaping him. It only encouraged you.

Steve wouldn’t let you finish him and what an early finish would it have been. He pulled your head away, tugging you upright and locking your mouths in a kiss as his hand did the job for you. You would have been confused and maybe even hurt by that action, but you knew him. You knew that no matter what game he was playing, he needed to be certain you would be alright.

“Didn’t want you to strain yourself,” he breathed into your mouth, his voice trembling with aftershock, sucking gently on your lips, his arm wrapped around your waist securely to hold you close with little care for how sticky you both were now thanks to his release.

“I know,” you whispered back, meeting his gaze in a haze, the affection for you written all over his face hitting you like a train. “I love you.”

“And I love you. More than you’ll ever know.”

A teasing smile tucked at the corner of your lips. “Show me? Please, sir?”

He choked out a laugh, his hold getting stronger on you, something poking your stomach as it came back to life.

“Troublemaker, doll. That’s what you are,” he hummed, grinning with a delicious mixture of sweet and intense, like dark chocolate. His not so clean hand cupped your bottom and one of his long fingers teased around your still dripping core. His nose nuzzled your hair, his lips brushing your earlobe with a filthy whisper. “I might have to fuck that cheekiness out of you.”

You gulped at that promise delivered in such foul language, your heart pounding in your chest right against his. Yes, please. It might help with the headache that was slowly beginning to bother you once more.

“Looking forward to it… sir.”

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Steve clearly felt adventurous, indulging the dominance and the power he held and you gladly let him, knowing the reward would – uh – come in the end. You lost count on how many times he brought you to the very edge only to let you descend again, never letting you tip over and fall. The orgasm that followed when he finally did, your walls clenching around him like a vice, was something you had never experienced before and that said something, considering Steve had been your lover for some time now. It felt like sparkles exploded in every single cell of your body, pounding with never-ending bliss, his cock throbbing in you and sending another flare through your body like in a vicious circle.

Apparently, you had been in Heaven once – and right now, Steve surely gave you a taste of what was it like, because there could not be another explanation. The afterglow was so warm and wonderful you basked in it for God knew how long.

When you finally came back to yourself, Steve’s fingers were tenderly threading in your hair, his lips on your temple. Your eyes fluttered open, causing him to stop and search your face with attentive eyes as he kept himself propped on his elbow.

“Hey, doll, are you okay?” he fussed softly, his breathing back to normal. He was still sporting an adorable flush down his face and chest, an evidence of the effort made and the satisfaction that followed.

“Yeah. This was… wow.”

“Yeah?” he grinned, wounding up a strand of your hair around his finger. His eyes were sparkling and you kinda wanted to slap his chest for the flash of smugness. Instead, you slapped him verbally and very much playfully.

“Yes, sir,” you returned the wide smile and he huffed, falling to your side. You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ugh, don’t start again.”

“I’d like to start again… some other time,” you admitted, hopeful your face was still flushed from before, hence not giving away the embarrassment at your admission. “I liked this.”

Steve embraced you firmly, kissing your shoulder. “So did I… maybe too much. You’re sure I didn’t hurt you?”

“Nope. Not at all,” you replied cheerily, casting a reassuring gaze aimed straight to his eyes as your voice softened. “You’re always careful, Steve, I know that. And I appreciate it.”

“Alright, then. Let’s revisit this sometime. You’re amazing, doll,” he whispered your favourite endearment like music on his lips. “ I love you. I can’t—I can’t even say how happy I am to have you here. Back with me. Stay?”

The sudden vulnerability almost made your heart stop with the ache, the agony he must have experienced after losing you – but how amazing it actually was, mean of you maybe, but God, he had missed you so much, because he loved you so deeply already – striking you precisely to your very soul. You were right there with him when it came to feelings.

It dawned to you why he would enjoy the feeling of dominance now of all the times you had made love – it gave him an illusion of control over something. What had happened to you, the kidnapping, the bombs, your death… he didn’t have control over that. When the Winchesters had brought you back, there weren’t many things he could do about your amnesia either, leaving him helpless. You had a hunch he felt like having zero control over things for a while now.

This, this incredible experience gave him what he had been craving. You couldn’t fault him for wanting that, more so when you enjoyed it so immensely. After all, both of you were only human in the end.

Only humans. Soulmates. Souls redefined, never the same after merging into one, yet maintaining their singularity. Still better together, gravitating one towards the other too strongly to be kept apart.

You stretched your neck so your lips could reach Steve’s forehead, a loving and caring gesture, comfort he often offered you. The action made him chuckle, an unusual watery sound as tears welled in his eyes as well as in yours.

You lingered for several moments, your eyes finding his then, fond glassy gaze with emotions too heavy to be carried only by one person. You were good at it together though. You softly kissed his lips and then wiggled against him, settling in his arms comfortably, trying to nestle against him in a way that wouldn’t leave an inch between your bodies – and Steve happily assisted you.

“I love you too, Steve. And there’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

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Part 21

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Well. Now I’m blushing. This was self-indulgent to a fault. 

Hope you liked it, this had been the first time I wrote something with hints of D/s (rememebr, only proofreadng and reposting ao3 chapters, this is almost a ear old), even when playful, so I pray I didn’t muff it up too much :)) I couldn’t leave the fluff behind, obviously.

Two chapters and an epilogue left. Thank you for making it this far and thank you even more if you’re interacting in an way :-*

[wackygoofball]

Gwenspiration: The Wacky Version Vol. 3 - The Moodboards

So, here I go again parading myself and tooting like there is no tomorrow.

As people still brave enough to follow me on Tumblr will know, I do a lot of moodboards, or at least I call them such. Others call them collages or storyboards or pictures with random text. Either way, for me, moodboards became a neat tool to somehow capture story ideas not yet anywhere near a level that I could write fic about them - or serve as inspirations for fics I am actually writing.

And it gives me opportunity to hoard unhealthy amounts of Gwen and Nik pics, in the name of moodboards. And science. And stuff. Whoozah!

So yeah, in this post, I want to share some of my personal favorites. A lot of them actually, because I can’t decide, really.

I will start off with a group of moodboards which took inspiration from the Marvel universe, since the Marvel universe was my gateway into the more active parts of fandom.

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An all-time fave is the Iron Man AU... I mean, what not to love about a JB AU with Jaime as sassy Tony Stark and Brienne as the not-taking any shit from you army doctor, am I right? But yeah, seriously, Jaime *is* the Tony Stark of the GOT universe, and I can’t be convinced otherwise. And neither should be you.

Also, the Iron Man suits just totally fit the color scheme for both, which made creating the moodboards all the better for me. Jaime and Brienne were made for armor, now in medieval or modern times, let’s not kid ourselves.

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Another Marvel fave has got to be Captain Westeros. Because if there is a female GOT Version of Steve Rogers, it’s gotta be Brienne of fuckin’ Tarth. This one is really close to my heart because it gave me a lot of feels coming up with plot bunnies for it, and the tragedy of those two people missing each other in time over and over again, always trying to protect one another, only to end up on opposite sides because of the machinations of others... *sigh*

And I mean, one guy loses an arm. The other is blond and strong... I don’t make the rules but this delivers me enough material to re-imagine this as a JB AU... so yeah, I do kinda make the rules after all. Anyway.

Since I realized that this post’s gonna get even looooonger, I decided to make a cut here and put the rest below, so not to have you scrolling for five hours.

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Although it’s not the most popular moodboard amongst my followers (you brave people, I can’t parade you enough for staying through the madness lol), I really, really love that Fantastic Four moodboard and the concept behind it. And I just know a lot of effort went into making Valyrian Steel Brienne, which took all of my three computer editing skillz brain cells. But yeah, here again, I liked to play with the idea of them not admitting to their love until shit hits the fan and then they hide behind that because... drama, angst, feels, pining, yadda.

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And we go from Marvel to DC little quick. Because Brienne is, most certainly, a Wonder Woman. Nuf said.

Now, let’s move on to other big movie franchises that give me all the JB feels:

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Jurassic Park (aka Valyrian Park) evidently holds a special place in my heart because JB fighting dinosaur-dragon hybrids and kicking ass while being disbelieving about what was bred out in Valyria thanks to some certain someones to rescue Brienne’s adoptive daughter Arya is just... a thing? For me anyway.

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More down memory lane, I don’t know how often I watched the LOTR movies, suffice to say it was a lot a lot. We had the extended versions DVDs of the first two and basically it was the one thing to watch when nothing was on (which was the case a lot). Either way. JB in MIddle Earth long after the days of Frodo et al. - why? Because I just loved the idea (and aesthetic) of Jaime as a ranger and Brienne as a knight of Gondor working in disguise. And Hobbipod. I mean, Pod as a Hobbit. Come the fuck on. And Tyrion as an asshole wizard. What could possibly go wrong? This moodboard was very time-consuming as I had to do a lot of edits (pointy ears, tiny up people, smudge Brienne’s face on a lot of Boromir and Faramir images, smudge Jaime’s face on a lot of Aragorn images, you name it). So yeah. No matter its popularity... I dig it. Despite not having read the books yet (I know, shocking), I continue to ogle at the idea and go like: Must. Write. But. Must. Resist. Either way. Mood.

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So yeah, I grew up watching these movies a lot, too (I grew up watching a lot of TV, period). And when Gwen was cast as Captain Phasma, I got a lot of JB juices flowing as a result. Mehe. I found it was a fun idea to play with, to basically *kill* Phasma so *Brienne* can come into play and assume her identity. And a rundown Jedi!Jaime who’s lost faith in himself and everything else safe for his partner in crime/resistance is just... I needz. So you gotta cope with it. I still adore this concept a lot even if others may not. :)

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This one’s just... gah. Feels. And I really liked the color scheme lol. And I watched Horse Whisperer A LOT. Because of feels. And horses. And Honor is a horse and he deserved better than be barbecued at Highgarden, dammit.

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The No Reservations AU definitely has to be in this post because I live for this dynamic. Brienne taking care of the girls, not knowing how, though, constantly doubting herself while always trying to be perfect and composed, not just in life but on the job as well. And Jaime being the laid-back guy who’s just a darn good chef but may carry his own baggage of problems that keep him from his happy ending story is just... mah jam.

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This one was a lot of fun to do because you don’t really think about Erin Brockovich when you say Brienne of Tarth in terms of character. But when you scratch away the boob jokes and the differences in where they come from, what you find are two hard-working women who fight for justice, so I found that close enough. And it was excuse enough for me to go down the lane of biker!Jaime because... dayum.

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Music and Lyrics is an all-time guilty pleasure romcom of mine. It’s so light and easy and I kind of love how everyone is basically a bunch of awkward losers. All the more perfect for Jaime as a singer (we need that in our lives after the infamous video Nik was in to sing to us about global warming...) and Brienne as the unexpectedly gifted songwriter. What I like about the moodboard per se is how the color scheme turned out because it’s all warm and bright and... makes me happy.

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Very much in contrast to the former stands this one. I still love the overall mood of it and I dig the story idea because I dug both The Prestige and The Illustionist because they presented something dark yet very different, which made it all the more appealing to put into a moodboard for me. While not the most well-known moodboard of mine, I keep going back to it time and time again to basically lust at all the illusions and magic and drama. And blue butterflies.

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What is there not to love about a Pacific Rim AU for JB, am I right? Right?! JB ain’t just compatible when it comes to the Drift, yo, that’s all I’m gonna say. Reasons why I like the moodboard a lot is that it’s very different, flashy colors, gigantic robots, and I was mostly alright with how the edits turned out. It is tough to get images that fit the angles, yo.

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Jumping back in time once more, I really adore this one even though it’s not one of my popular moodboards. I dug the fusion of elements from Cinderella Man while granting Brienne as the female lead more space to develop as a character and make her a badass sniper nurse who is about to get her doctor’s degree. And Jaime doing anything to make it work because he owes her a debt (and his love) by boxing his way to their shared life is just... nice.

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Another supposedly lesser known moodboard is this one, though I really adore it for its premise and the amount of work I put into it (all the giffing and moodboarding). I also found use for that image of Gwen with what looks like the veil of a nun, which was probably what had me inspired in the first place lol. The plot bunnies revolve less around Se7en and more the novel El ùltimo Catón (2001) because it has a nun solving a mystery revolving around Dante’s works. But Se7en gives us the Seven, which is a delicious parallel too hard to ignore. For me at least. If only I knew how to write crime, dammit.

Now, to  move more into the serial (smooth transition from serial killer to serial TV shows, I know, I know) way of life, here is some moodboards inspired by TV shows (although some have since gotten movies which I also took inspiration from... yadda):

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Childhood memory galore. I spent many weekends watching The A-Team with the whole family. When the movie came out, I was happy about the feels it gave me (and the “you spin my head right round” scene still cracks me up more often than it should). Either way. I found it absolutely necessary for Jaime to be Face, for Tyrion to be Hannibal, for Bronn to be B.A. and cuss at everyone and everything and Brienne giving us the strangest genderbend of a Howling Mad Murdock. It added some angst, which I always need because I am a thirsty hoe for it. In case no one noticed yet. Ha.

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This one is very remotely inspired by The Bletchley Circle and the Imitation Game (because both feature encryption and one features Charles Dance already, yo.) I just really dug the idea of Brienne being so good at this because she is such a straight thinker but being underestimated because “she a woman.” And of course her not being done just encoding messages but getting into action, very much to the dismay of the stupid soldier wanting to defend the bae from harm. What could possibly go wrong? Right. A lot.

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Then. Elementary. Let me count the ways in which I love that show... ALL THE WAYS. And I really dig it as a JB AU. I have so many thoughts and feelings, I can’t even begin to tell you. I especially had my fun basically making Jaime Sherlock without making him really Sherlock because that guy was the one who taught him how to be an investigator before disappearing and fucking up his life for bad. And Brienne as the army doctor turned sober companion turned private investigator turned love interest is just too delicious to ignore.

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Pants down I mean hands down, this may be the actual favorite (currently) amongst them all for the plain reason that I also grew up watching that series and still watch it and keep obsessing about it. Ever since Discovery launched and has since given me both joy and grief, I found myself intrigued by the premise of a JB Star Trek AU where Brienne would be standing *with* the Klingons during the war around the time Discovery takes place, and Captain Jaime Lannister having lost far too much to this war already to truly trust anyone, even less so a woman who ran to the Klingons, for what it seems.

You would not believe how many ideas I have for a fic based on it. You wouldn’t believe that I basically have a sequel to that fic already in mind. And you would definitely believe, knowing me, that I am nowhere near writing that fic. But a fangirl can dream and moodboard, right? The moodboard was such a fun way of going about it, not only for the edits but because I could sneak some secret Klingon messages in there. :)

Now, on to the last part, which are the moodboards not inspired by movies or TV shows primarily but really just spewed out of my wacky, wacky brain:

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This has a special place in my heart because it combines military and the traumas it comes with for JB and.... the aesthetic of farming. And both finding a kind of peace they didn’t know they were looking for as they struggle to adjust and find their way back “to normal” after the horrors they have both seen in war. And did I mention the aesthetic? And Jaime in plaid? All dirty and sweaty? Do I have to say more?

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Why this one? Because it combines angst and romance and falling in love twice because DESTINY. And paintings. I love me my artist AUs. So that was my go at it, combining it with the “mystery” to be uncovered about what history Jaime and Brienne actually share as he tries to put his memories back together.  Also. This moodboard gave me opportunity to try out new filters and create JB paintings. :)

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This one’s gotta be on the list since I also added the Horse Whisperer. Now it’s Dog Whisperer Jaime and Brienne who won’t give up on her dog who’s seen some shit in the warzone (as did she, but Brienne will put it all aside for her doggish best buddy, of course). While it’s not a very popular moodboard of mine, I really enjoy the premise of it and how the dynamics can so easily change between the two of them if you see it in comparison to the Horse Whisperer AU. Also. I just really think Jaime is a total pet person.

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Another lesser known moodboard, I’d assume, but I really dug the premise of it (still do), and it was intriguing to do some edits to make Jaime’s hand *truly* golden lol. With people having developed strange mutations which aren’t nearly as much fun as they are in Fantastic Four AUs. What I liked about it was the idea that Brienne would have a kind of mutation/ability that links to the mind, since she is such a physically strong fighter that she may rather rely on that than on her own mind, fearing that she cannot control that with discipline the same way she can train her body with it. What unites the two is their strong wish to protect the people in their care, in a world on the verge of collapse forcing two unexpected allies together (okay, I totally expected it, but they didn’t). Either way. Much love for this one. :)

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Aaaand the last one (not of all the ones I made but the ones I picked for Gwenspiration). I really, really, really adore this one because I was so happy with how the aesthetic turned out and how the colors all match. And I dig the premise. Like holy moly do I dig it deep. Jaime and Brienne both serving in military, but on different fronts, and almost accidentally ending up writing each other letters? I mean... the PINING. And Brienne having to decipher Jaime’s chickenscratch. Yeah no, but for real. I just love the idea so much. That they are both committed to the cause while also yearning for a home, for peaceful times, for sweet, sweet love. And them meeting up and acting like stupid teenagers, only for drama to keep hitting because. It’s eh me angsty Wacky.

Either way. I dig the premises of a lot of my moodboards (in fact... basically all of them or else I wouldn’t be making them, I guess). I spared you listing all of them, though I listed a whole damn lot already. Moodboards are an awesome means for me personally to visualize and (re-)imagine. And since quite a few people seem to continue to be onboard with them, I am all the happier to keep making them.

That’s all for today.

Much love! ♥♥♥

*flies away*

[shipmistress9]

FTLOAP: Chapter 33: Bring On The Fire And Bring On The Storm

Title: For The Love Of A Princess

Fandom: HTTYD

Theme: Hiccstrid - Medieval-style AU - Romance - Angst/Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Reduced to little more than a stable boy, Hiccup, despite his noble birth, has few prospects for more in life. But when he meets a girl who came to look at the horses, being a stable boy might not be enough anymore. Together, they have tough choices to make and great risks to navigate if they want to survive and be together.

Rating: Explicit

FF-net  -  AO3 -

Discord-server for discussions and questions

Prologue; Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4; Chapter 5; Chapter 6; Chapter 7; Chapter 8; Chapter 9; Chapter 10; Chapter 11; Chapter 12; Chapter 13; Chapter 14; Interlude 1; Chapter 15; Chapter 16; Chapter 17; Chapter 18; Chapter 19; Chapter 20; Chapter 21; Chapter 22; Chapter 23; Chapter 24; Chapter 25; Chapter 26; Interlude 2; Chapter 27: Chapter 28 ; Chapter 29 ; Chapter 30; Chapter 31; Chapter 32; Interlude 3; Bonus 1

Alpha/Co-author: @athingofvikings

. – * – _ . o O o . _ – * – .

AN: Woah, what a week! Between HTTYD 3 and RL, I've been a total mess, and am honestly amazed that there actually is a chapter to post this week. And such a long one, too. But most importantly: This is the last chapter of Part 2! (I'm strangely pleased that Part 1 ended on chapter 11, and now Part 2 ends on chapter 33.) So, yeah, this is the last chapter of this part. It contains scenes I had in my head for ages, and as it is with those, I'm not quite sure they came out as I always imagined them. But I'm happy enough with them by now, and hope you'll enjoy them too.

More importantly though: I'll go on another scheduled hiatus now. I'm sorry that there was no prior warning, but... Well, I need a little time to properly outline the events and content of Part 3, especially since athingofvikings and I are discussing what to include from HTTYD 3, expanding out details in plotting from my original outline. For my own sanity, I also want to write out a full draft and build up a buffer for the summer. Posting will resume April 5th, 2019. For everyone interested: Feel free to contact us on @athingofvikings ‘ Discord server.

This chapter's title comes from the song 'Invincible' by Ruelle. It feels oddly fitting, both for this chapter on its own and for the upcoming Part 3. ;)

. o O o .

 When she heard the voices of her ‘brothers’, Astrid was up and awake in an instant.

Shit!

What were they doing here?

Hastily, she sat up, perking up her ears. Could she’ve been wrong? There was nothing now, only the silence of the night. Had it just been her fears that had made her imagine those voices? Maybe it had just been a dream altogether? But no, there it was again. She knew Eret’s voice and Dagur’s cackling laughter too well to be wrong.

And judging by their volume, they already were close.

Within only a second, she was on her feet, frantically looking around for a place to hide, but came up empty-handed. The back of Hiccup’s sleeping stall was packed with straw bales, but they were stacked too tightly to hide between them, and it was too late to leave the stall and look somewhere else.

With her heart beating in her throat, Astrid wrapped herself into Hiccup’s blanket -- even as something like a desperate hysterical laugh bubbled up inside her. Yeah, right. Hiding the fact that she’d been lying in Hiccup’s bed, half-naked, would totally help if they found her here.

Praying to all the Gods she knew, she pressed herself into a corner of the stall, the last one that would be visible should someone look in here. Maybe they wouldn’t even come in at all? Maybe they’d just drop Hiccup off and leave?

The sound of the door opening was audible, and Astrid reflexively held her breath as definitely more than one pair of feet entered the stables. Oh, please!, she prayed. Please don’t let them find me!

“All right,” came Hiccup’s voice. “You’ve accomplished your goal and got me here without an accident. Thanks, guys. Really. But now, I’ll be okay. Shoo. Off with you.” He sounded… strange somehow, but Astrid didn’t have the nerves to further think about that. Not now!

“Are you sure?” Eret sounded worried, and Astrid pressed herself closer against the wooden wall to her back. Why couldn’t he simply leave?

“Yes, I’m sure,” came Hiccup’s dry reply. “You don't need to tuck me into bed.” He sounded closer now, almost at the entrance to the stall, and apparently, Eret had followed him there.

He’d come closer too, stood only a few feet away from her now. If he opened the stall door, there was no way… “Hic, don’t underestimate this stuff… It’s–”

“Seriously, I’m fine!” Hiccup interrupted him. “And I can take care of myself. See you guys tomorrow.”

Astrid didn't even dare to breathe. She could even see Hiccup now, standing in the open door with Eret apparently directly in front of him. If Eret only so much as made one more step…

“Come on, he's fine,” came Dagur's voice, and Astrid almost sobbed in relief. “Leave the boy to his pleasant dreams. We have another one to get into bed, after all.”

It felt like an eternity before Eret answered, Astrid shaking like a leaf, but eventually, he gave in. “You're right, both of you. All right, see you tomorrow, Hiccup.”

“Sleep well,” sounded Dagur's cheerful voice toward them, followed by an unintelligible grunt that sounded awfully like Daniel. Still not daring to move a single muscle, she listened anxiously to Eret’s receding footsteps, to him and Dagur exchanging a few words that were too quiet for her to understand. A minute later, the door to the stables finally closed, leaving her and Hiccup in relative silence, except for the snort of a sleeping horse. Astrid was still too tense and anxious to relax and approach Hiccup, when his sudden laughter caught her off guard. It started quietly, just a low chuckling really, but quickly grew into a full body guffaw.

“Oh, Gods,” he gasped in-between. “I was sure that they would spot you!” He turned toward her, apparently knowing exactly where she was hiding, and pulled her into a tight hug, blanket and everything.

Still stunned, Astrid was hardly able to react in any way, not even when he kissed her, giggling against her lips. “Tha-that was awfully close,” she eventually gasped, still shaking. Countless ‘What if…’s were whirling around in her head, and she still felt as if she couldn’t breathe freely.

“I know!” Hiccup was still chuckling, leaning heavily against her. “That would have been…” He broke off into another laughing fit. “Gods, can you imagine? That would have been hilarious!”

Hilarious? Well, that wasn't the word Astrid would have used! Alarming, maybe. Or terrifying. But then, Hiccup’s behaviour was odd, not really like him, but more–

“Hiccup, are you drunk?” she blurted out, a little incredulously, smelling the beer on his breath. The question wasn't necessary, not really. In fact, now that she thought about it, it was fairly obvious. But the words were out before she could think about them.

“Mmm,” Hiccup hummed into her hair. “Maybe a little? Apparently, Dagur thought our beers needed improvement, so...” he chuckled again, shaking his head against her neck.

Gulping, Astrid nodded. “I see,” she mumbled. That explained why Eret had been so concerned; Astrid had heard enough stories about Dagur’s brews to be a little worried now too.

But then, Hiccup seemed to be all right. More than all right, actually. He wasn’t sick or delirious, nor unstable in any way she could detect – and having been around drunk nobles since she was a little girl, she’d seen a lot of men and women who acted poorly under the influence of drinks. No, all that was different from his normal self was his obvious giddiness and how unrestrained he was. His hands were roaming over her body, never holding still; up and down her back, her shoulders, caressing her neck, her sides, pushing the blanket aside to brush along the edges of her bare breasts. The feeling very efficiently distracted her from all worrisome thoughts.

It felt a bit odd, the rough fabric of his heavy cloak and the cold leather of his vest beneath against her bare skin, but she couldn't say that it was unpleasant. On the contrary, his almost playful touches and giddy laughter every now and then finally made her relax too. Eret had been awfully close to discovering her, but what mattered was that he hadn't. So she made an effort to deeply breathe in and out, let the tension flow out of her, and leaned more comfortably into Hiccup's embrace. Being close to him, kissing and feeling him, always made her feel better.

“You're in quite a cheerful mood,” she eventually pointed out, gasping as he nibbled his way down her neck. And he really was, with the continuous giggling and grinning. She was happy to be with him too, but this still felt like something else. “Did you have a good night out?”

Again, he began to chuckle. “Yeah, we had. I...” he paused, almost choked on another laugh, then added, “I told them about you.”

Astrid froze, and her gut seemed to drop down into her feet. “You– What?” He couldn't be serious now, could he? No, surely not. Surely, he hadn't–

“Don't worry,” he interrupted her approaching panic attack, still grinning and giving little giggles but somewhat steadier now. “I just told them that I am in love with the most wonderful woman on Midgard, how beautiful and smart and brave she is, and that she loves me too.” He paused to place a lingering kiss just below her ear. “I didn't mention your name, they don't know I was talking about you, but… Gods, Daniel, he–” Hiccup broke off, his arms around her tightening. “He said he’s happy for me. Encouraged me to marry her– you as soon as possible. That he would support me if needed...”

Astrid felt a kind of pressure around her chest, as if a corset was being closed by Ruff in one of her moods. “But Hiccup,” she interrupted him. “I don't doubt that he said that, but… but he didn't know you were talking about me, that he is the one who–”

“I know,” Hiccup sighed. He retreated slightly until his eyes met hers. There was a strange expression in them; an odd mixture of hope and despair, all covered by a light haze that probably came from the alcohol. “I know that he doesn't know that I was talking about you and I know that that fact would certainly change his opinion. But…” he broke off, and swallowed before a small almost shy smile played around his lips. “But it gave me hope, you know? The hope that he'll come around? Last night, I thought that hope was lost for good, so… Yeah, it was good to hear that he doesn't think I'm a complete failure.”

Astrid features softened, and she reached up to brush a few fringes out of his face. “You're not a failure,” she whispered. “Where is that idea suddenly coming from?” She remembered how Eret the Elder, the old goat, had spoken about Hiccup in that way, and how Hiccup had reacted when she’d repeated those words. But that was ages ago. It had never come up again since then, so why did he mention it now?

But he just shrugged, and averted his eyes. “Doesn't matter,” he muttered, then pulled her closer again until his face was thoroughly buried between her hair and her neck. “All that matters is that you're here. Freya, Astrid, I– I love you. So much!”

Chuckling weakly, Astrid turned her head until her lips touched his skin. “I love you too.”

She couldn't really say how they ended up rolling around on the straw-covered ground a few minutes later. All she knew was that there was something unrestrained and wild, almost feral even, about Hiccup's actions. The way his hands roamed over her skin, searching and exploring, intense, his kisses hot and almost demanding. It left her dizzy and wanting, especially when he focused all his attention on her breasts. She'd never known how sensitive that part of her body was, but, Freya, every time his work-roughened hands palmed her, fingers brushing over or pinching her nipples, she couldn't help but moan and writhe beneath him. And when she felt the damp heat of his mouth, his wet tongue stroking, the suction, his teeth nibbling and biting, all she could do was scream.

“Quiet, you'll scare the horses,” he mumbled against her skin as she floated down from one of those intense explosions. A part of her wanted to chide him for the clearly audible smirk in his voice, but the by far bigger part didn't care.

“Y-your fault,” she panted, chest heaving. “Freya, how are you doing this? How… what…” she broke off when her words kept incoherently tumbling out of her mouth. She needed better words!

Hiccup, the intensity of his touches not dwindling in the slightest, chuckled. “It… has many names. But the most common would be an ‘orgasm’. Or a climax. Or I’ve even heard ‘little death’ for the really good ones that just knock you flat. And as for how… I'm amazed myself how… responsive you are.” He lowered his head, and drew another loud moan out of her by ardently playing her nipple with his tongue. “Seriously, I could do this all day and never get bored.”

“Uhh uh…” Astrid made, already feeling the tingles of another orgasm, as Hiccup had called it, pooling in her belly when his hand wandered down her body and beneath her skirts. Clutching at his shoulders in a desperate attempt to anchor herself was all she could do when his hand between her thighs stroked that fire within her once more. It took only a few minutes until a second orgasm wrecked her body, leaving her stunned and trembling, unable to comprehend much beside Hiccup placing soft kisses all over her skin.

“Gods, you’re so beautiful like this,” he whispered, his voice low and rough. “As if you were glowing…”

His breath tickled, making her giggle giddily, and she reached out with weak arms to pull him up and into a kiss. He complied easily and eagerly, his unusual intensity still not dulling in the slightest. Astrid wouldn’t complain, she loved how tactile he was, how his hands – his whole body, really – wouldn’t stop moving, exploring. It made her want to do the same, to feel him.

Barely ever stopping kissing him, she managed to get Hiccup out of his tunic, with his cloak, vest, and shoes having already been shed. It didn’t take much for her to get over her initial hesitation, to explore him with the same eagerness he showed, hands running over muscles and scars, gripping and stroking. Their kisses grew more heated and distracted, and everything around them seemed to fade away. There was nothing else anymore, nothing but him. And she wanted all of him.

Humming against his lips, she led her hand glide down his front, over his stomach, until she felt rough fabric. There was a last spark of shyness, but she quickly brushed it aside. This was Hiccup, and there was no reason to ever be shy or hesitant with him. She wanted to move on, to feel him, this last part of him she didn’t really know at all. She wasn’t even sure what she’d planned, whether she wanted to feel him through the fabric of his trousers, more aware of the sensation than when they were making out, or whether she wanted to let her hand slide beneath the fabric, to feel hot skin and more, things she barely knew anything about.

But before she could do either, his hand was around her wrist. With an almost pained groan and a shake of his head, he pulled her hand away, his fingers entangled with hers as he resumed kissing her with renewed vigour. The way he moved, grinding against her, and his groans and grunts quickly distracted her from wondering again. It all simply felt too good to bother, to think, and all she wanted was to follow where he led her. Especially when it made her body throb so wonderfully, made tension coil tight before it burst and washed through her in thrilling waves. It felt as if she could never get enough.

“Oh, f– A-astrid!”

She barely registered Hiccup’s muffled groan against her shoulder or how his body coiled tightly only to shudder and shake a second later. In fact, she didn’t register anything, basking in an incredible rush that left her dizzy, until Hiccup slumped down onto the straw next to her. Right now, she could completely understand that ‘little death’ nickname for this feeling. He was panting, his eyes on her still dazed as he reached out to brush her sweaty fringes out of her face.

“I still have no idea what I ever did to deserve this – to deserve you,” he mumbled, voice slurring heavily.

Astrid wanted to reply that it was the same the other way around, but when she finally managed to make her eyes focus on him, he seemed to be half-asleep already. Well, the last couple of days had been busy, it was late, and he wasn’t exactly sober anyway.

For a few minutes, she just watched him with a lazy smile on her lips. He looked beautiful, so peaceful and relaxed, the corners of his mouth tugged up in the slightest of smiled. And yet…

And yet, there had been something earlier, something that bothered her more the more she thought about it. Slowly, her smile faded into a frown. Why had he done that, not just tonight but last night, too? Everything else had been wonderful, perfect even, but this…

For some while, she went through one possible explanation after the other in her mind, not really liking any of them. And it was futile anyway. She should simply ask Hiccup what that had been about, hoping that the explanation wouldn’t be–

No, none of that anymore, she chided herself. She needed to ask Hiccup, everything else wouldn’t get her anywhere. But gazing at his sleeping face, she had to acknowledge that now clearly was not the right time to do so.

With a sigh and a slight grimace, she pushed all these confusing thoughts aside in favour of getting at least a little sleep tonight, reached for the blanket behind Hiccup to cover them both, and then snuggled against his warm chest. Tomorrow, she thought to herself. Tomorrow, I will ask him. Whenever I get the chance...

. o O o .

Fighting to keep a pained groan inside, Hiccup reached up to rub his temples and simultaneously cover his eyes from the ray of sunlight which was breaking through the clouds occasionally. Being here as part of the farewell-party for the Crown Prince was an honour, even with the official explanation simply being that he was bringing Trample, and he didn't intend to embarrass himself by letting his hangover show too much. He knew that Daniel wasn't feeling any better, but the Prince somehow managed to appear composed, so Hiccup could do the same.

And appearing composed was important in more than one regard anyway. After their fun night out last night, Hiccup was confident again that it was more than just this official reason that allowed him to be here. But it was still an official occasion – and the last one where Daniel could notice anything, no less – so Hiccup made an effort not to even look at Astrid. But he still couldn’t help but listen.

“Promise me to be careful, okay?” Astrid’s voice as she tightly hugged her brother easily reached Hiccup’s ears where he stood next to Eret, even with how low and muffled it was.

“I’m always careful,” Daniel replied, smiling encouragingly at his sister as he retreated. “You’ll see, I’ll be back before you even noticed I was gone.” Something in Daniel’s voice sounded off as he said that, but Hiccup had no time to pin down what exactly it was. It might just be him being tired anyway.

“I certainly hope so,” Dagur chimed in, his trademark grin plain across his face. Nothing seemed to be able to dull his bright mood, not even one of his friends heading off into a war zone. “Because it’s all getting real now, you know? And I can’t wait to be a part of it all this summer. Thor, it feels like forever until then!”

Daniel grimaced slightly, but didn’t comment further. He accepted Dagur’s goodbye hug with something of a forced smile, then turned to Eret. As they hugged too, Hiccup heard murmured words he wasn’t sure he was supposed to hear.

“Promise me to keep an eye on her for me.”

“I always will,” Eret replied, voice equally low. “Don’t worry. As long as we stay here, nothing will happen to her.”

Again, Hiccup noticed a grimace crossing Daniel’s face, but it was gone in the blink of an eye. He just nodded, lips tight, then turned toward Hiccup. Giving him a hug too seemed inappropriate, and with him holding Trample it wasn’t practical anyway, so Hiccup simply reached out to shake Daniel’s hand. He was relieved when Daniel returned both the gesture and his honest smile. Apparently, all his worries from the night of the grand blot had been for nothing after all – at least in regards to their friendship. “Have a good journey,” he said. “And good luck with Redpeak. I hope it all works as planned.”

Hiccup wasn’t sure how, but that seemed to have been the wrong thing to say. Daniel winced, confusing Hiccup with a strange look and a slight shaking of his head, but it was too late to take his words back.

“Redpeak?” Eret inquired, clearly surprised. “That again? I thought you couldn’t go to Redpeak this winter.”

Hiccup threw Eret a confused look. He and Daniel had talked about little else lately, including planning the last details last night in the tavern. Where else was Daniel supposed to go? “Why shouldn’t he?” he asked, clearly puzzled, then turned back to Daniel. “I thought it was your plan to get it usable for this summer? Wasn’t that why you asked to pin down which alterations would be manageable in the short time?”

Now it was on Eret to look confused, and even Dagur leaned in. “But… weren’t you lamenting about how you won’t be able to work on Redpeak only one week ago?” Dagur asked. “I clearly remember it. It was my accolade, and…”

“And you said you can’t change the plans anymore,” Eret added, nodding. “Something about logistics, and basic material already being on its way?”

Dagur nodded, too. “And that Uncle Spite would skin you alive if you postponed the repairs to his outposts. I mean, I remember how desperately you wanted to change your plans, but I didn’t think you’d be willing to risk that.”

Eret grunted in agreement, and all three of them gave Daniel confused looks.

“Erm…” the Prince made, biting his lip. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, clearly uncomfortable, but then nodded. “You’re right, all of you,” he sighed, shoulders slumping a bit. “It’s just… something else came up, something… important. I don’t have as much time as originally planned after all, so going to Redpeak instead became more sensible, as it’s much closer to the city of Westhill than Loki’s Teeth.”

“Something so important that you can risk aggravating Uncle Spite?” Eret asked with a raised eyebrow. “That’s got to be quite something. Is it something you can tell us?”

Daniel looked definitely pained now as he shook his head. “No, I can’t tell you. Not yet. But you’ll learn about it soon enough, don’t worry.” He sighed again. “All I can tell you is… well, let’s just say I highly expect to see you all again long before summer, before you all return home even.”

“So, you’ll be here for Swanja’s birthday?” Eret asked, clearly surprised. “That’s new.”

It was a reasonable question, Hiccup supposed. He already knew that Astrid’s birthday at the end of the winter usually marked the day House Jag’r’s herd returned to Eastervale. It was a day he dreaded, knowing it would be the last before they had to part. But he also knew that the Princess's birthday wasn’t an important enough occasion for Daniel to interrupt his campaign preparations. Or, usually not, at least.

But against his expectations, Daniel shook his head. “No, I won’t be back by then. But I’ll be back not long afterwards. There’s–” He glanced to the side, and abruptly interrupted whatever he’d meant to say. “Uh, where is Swanja?”

Upon his question, they all turned as well to where Astrid stood behind Dagur. Or at least where she had stood until a minute ago. Now, the space was blatantly empty, and Hiccup wondered how he’d missed her leaving. Sure, he was tired and hungover and had actively tried to not overly pay attention to her. But apparently, that had worked better than he'd expected.

“Uh, I don’t know. She’d been here just now, hadn’t she?” Dagur looked utterly confused, and Hiccup had to bite back laughter at the sight. Astrid’s disappearance could be alarming, but he actually wasn’t worried. Not really.

And as if he’d been able to read his thoughts, Eret snorted in amusement. Or maybe it was just that he, too, knew Astrid well enough. “Well, if she managed to slip away, there’s only one place where she’d go. We’ll pick her up once you're gone and make sure she's all right. Don’t worry, we'll keep an eye on her.” The last words were clearly directed at Daniel who nodded gratefully.

“Thanks, Eret. I know I can count on you.”

. o O o .

Hiccup couldn’t really complain about the company, he mused as Eret and Dagur accompanied him back toward the stables. It was only logical that Astrid would go there when she got the chance. According to Eret that was what she always did, and Hiccup supposed he was right. It had been what had let to their first meeting, after all.

Besides, spending time with these two was always fun, and even with knowing where Daniel was heading, their mood wasn't down in any way. The area around Westhill and the Western Mountain Range was undeniably a war zone, but Daniel had the best protection imaginable, and winter wasn’t exactly the time where the Malarians – used to their warmer climate in the West – were most active anyway.

So it wasn’t really surprising that they were in a high spirit, possibly even more light-hearted than they had been during the past days. Because now, there was nobody around anymore from who they had to hide. It was a bit strange though, he mused as he walked ahead of the other two and tried not to be too obtrusive. They had to hide their relationship just like he and Astrid did, but for other reasons and with very different perspectives for their future. Right now, he felt a little jealous at how freely they bantered, their comments much more telling then they had been with the prince around. It stung that, even with Daniel gone, it wouldn’t be possible for him and Astrid to do the same. But on the other hand, he also couldn’t really begrudge them their time, limited as it was. At least he knew that his fate, ordained by the gods, was far better than what theirs would be. So Hiccup kept himself entertained with thoughts of their future, by remembering the images he’d seen of Astrid standing in the doorway to their home and with their son in her arms. Someday, he reminded himself. Someday, that image will become the truth. The thought brought a smile to his lips. A smile that vanished when he entered the stables.

Astrid was nowhere to be seen, but he knew by now that didn’t have to mean she wasn’t here. His eyes directly flickered to the end of the corridor, and, just like last night, he noticed that the door to his stall stood slightly ajar – despite him knowing that he’d closed it properly. His heart skipped a beat before it began to pound hard in his chest. Last night, Eret and Dagur had only been here to make sure he got here. Eret had been worried, but it also had been relatively easy to persuade him to leave. Now, however? Now, they were here to search for Astrid. If she'd just been here, for Markor or to wait for them, that wouldn't have been a problem. But if she was in his stall, that meant it was on Hiccup to make sure they wouldn’t find her.

“Milady Astrid?” he called, loud. “Are you here? We’re all looking for you.” He could only hope that would be enough of a warning, enough for her to not come out of his stall and make Eret and Dagur wonder why she’d been in there in the first place. And to his relief, everything stayed quiet.

“Huh, that’s strange,” Eret muttered, looking around the hall. “I would have vouched for her to be here.” He made a few more steps forward, before he called, “Swanja? Where are you?” But again, there was no answer.

Hiccup almost hoped Eret would leave it at that and go look someplace else, when instead he went on toward the stalls. For a moment, his blood ran cold, but he quickly caught himself again. He had to do something, or Eret would surely find her.

“Maybe she’s in the tack room?” he suggested, words directed at Dagur who nodded.

“I’ll take a look,” he said, and left for the door to the attached room.

Hiccup quickly hurried forward to where Eret was peering into Markor’s stall right now.

“Well, she’s not in here either,” Eret stated needlessly, a clear frown on his face now. “I really could have sworn…”

“Maybe in one of the other stalls,” Hiccup suggested, making a snap decision at that moment. It was bold, but certainly better than to have Eret look everywhere on his own. He stepped toward the next stall on this side of the stables, Cassie’s, even as he was still turned toward Eret. “Let’s have a look; I’ll take this side and you the other one?” He indicated to the other row of stalls, where Hunter, Crusher, and Chomp were housed. Yes, bold indeed. What if Eret instead stayed on this side, to search Squish’s stall and the empty stalls in-between? Hiccup would be too far away to intervene, to maybe stand in the way so Eret wouldn’t spot her or to insist upon searching his sleeping stall at the end of the row himself. What if–

“All right.” Eret nodded, turned to hurry over to the other side, and Hiccup bit his lip, painfully, to keep a relieved gasp from escaping him. He was keenly aware that the danger of them practically catching her in his bed wasn’t fully averted yet, but at least it wasn’t as immediate anymore either.

They went on in silence until Dagur returned from the tack room. “I’ve searched the entire thing, even looked behind shelves and everywhere. Swanja isn’t in there.”

“And she’s not here either,” Eret replied tensely as he closed the door to the last stall in his row. “Hiccup?”

Hiccup could see part of Astrid’s dress peeking out from behind the straw bale where she was hiding. “No, nothing,” he called back, firmly closed the door to his stall, and, after giving himself a second to compose his face, turned toward the other two.

Dagur gave him an amused look. “Did you expect Swanja to be in there?” he asked, nodding at his stall behind him. It was obviously meant to tease him, and luckily, Hiccup didn’t need to pretend anything to react appropriately flustered.

“Well, I don’t know,” he said, blushing. “I mean, maybe she was tired and didn’t want to go back to the castle to do whatever is on her plan for today? There is a bed in there after all, and…” he trailed off, swallowing whatever other nonsense he could blurt out. “Anyway, it looks like she’s not here after all.” He was a bad liar, and he knew that. People had told him so on several occasions. All he could do was hope that this time would be different. That they would believe him.

Eret frowned, but then nodded. “All right. Maybe she knew we would look for her here first. I mean, I don’t know why she felt the need to run off, but it’s obvious that she doesn’t want to be found easily.” He sighed, then grimaced. “But we have to find her. I promised Daniel to keep an eye on her. I mean, I know she can take care of herself, but...” He trailed off, and rubbed his tattooed chin in thought.

“I know what you mean,” Dagur sighed. “She hasn’t really been herself lately.”

Hiccup rubbed the back of his neck in an attempt to appear unperturbed. He felt bad for lying to them, and even worse for leaving them worried; they meant well, after all. But even if he told them where she was, there was no way he could explain why he’d lied in the first place. Besides, Astrid hadn’t wanted them to find her, and he respected that. So he stayed silent.

“Okay, let’s see if we can find her anywhere else,” Eret eventually resigned. “Maybe she went for a walk in the forest, or sits at the swan lake. Or she might be visiting Fishlegs and Heather.”

“I hope not,” Dagur muttered. “I could go without the icy glares Heather gives me lately.”

Nodding, Eret laid his hand on Dagur’s upper arm in a comforting gesture. “I’m sure she’ll come around. But maybe we don’t need to even go there.” He turned toward the exit, but then paused to look at Hiccup. “Are you coming too?”

Hesitantly, Hiccup shook his head. “No. You know better where she might be, and I could only follow you anyway; I’d just get lost if I were to search the castle and its grounds on my own. I’ll stay here in case she shows up after all. Tend to the horses…” He shrugged. Again he hoped that the lie wasn’t too noticeable on his face.  

Apparently, it wasn’t. Eret nodded in agreement, and after they’d left the stables and the door closed behind them, he let out a heavy sigh of relief. Gods, he couldn’t wait until they wouldn’t have to hide anymore…

He wasn’t surprised at all when, upon turning away from the stable’s entry, he found that Astrid had already left his stall. He had to be more smashed than he’d thought, as he hadn’t even heard the door. What surprised him, however, was that she stood a few steps away from him. His first instinct was to go to her and take her into his arms, but there was something in her expression that kept him from doing so. It also explained why she’d come and hidden here in the first place. It seemed as if she had more on her mind than simply already missing him.

“Hey,” he began, unsure what else to say. His mind still felt sluggish. “That was… pretty risky.”

Astrid, however, didn’t say anything and just nodded. She bit her lip, obviously chewing something over in her mind, so Hiccup decided to just keep on talking until she’d made up her mind about what was bothering her.

“I mean, what if Eret had seen you? Sure, Daniel isn’t here anymore, but I didn’t get the impression that telling Eret or Dagur was what you wanted either. And surely you knew they’d come here first. I mean, not that I’m complaining. I love to have you here, and–”

“Do you?”

Hiccup broke off, and gave her an incredulous look. Where was that coming from? Scouring his mind for what he might have done to make her doubt him and coming up empty-handed, he couldn’t help but make a hesitant step toward her. “What? Of course I do!” Gods, his mind was too slow, he shouldn’t have drunk anything last night.

Astrid looked at him for a moment longer. Then she moved toward him, oddly hesitant, and stretched to brush her lips over his. Hiccup still had no idea what to make of her behaviour, so he just went along, returned her kiss and pulled her closer when she pressed for more contact. It felt wonderful, right and perfect, just like always – except that Astrid still seemed strangely tense. Or maybe he was just imagining things? His mind really wasn’t as quick as it usually was. Eventually, he gave up pondering, and pushed all distracting thoughts aside. Astrid wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, so if something bothered her, she surely would say so.

With a low moan, he gave in completely, letting her take the lead to wherever she wanted to go, returned her kisses and let his hands roam over her body when hers did the same. Gods, he loved the feeling of her small but sure hands on his skin, the light scraping of her fingernails over his abdomen, tickling, teasing, wandering further and further down until–

Grunting, Hiccup’s hand shot down to catch hers as she was about to loosen the cords on his trousers. Freya, just the light brush of her hand over his bulge had already felt amazing! But this… this was the one line he wouldn’t… couldn’t cross, the one rule he couldn’t break.

Caught between wanting to let her continue and reasoning why he couldn’t, it took Hiccup a moment to realise that Astrid had pulled back from him. But when he did, he spotted a pained expression on her face, just before she turned away from him, arms defensively crossed in front of her.

“I-I think I should go,” she mumbled, making a hesitant step away from him. “Eret and Dagur might be back any moment or… or…” she trailed off, and Hiccup could imagine all too well how she would bite her lip right now, even as he couldn’t see it.

“Astrid, wait,” he said, not really knowing what else to say. What had just happened? “What...” He reached out for her, but dropped his hand again before he could touch her. Somehow, she seemed to need space right now, even though he honestly couldn’t say why. “Why are you so upset? Did�� did I do something wrong?”

For a minute, Hiccup thought she wouldn’t answer. She just stood there, back toward him and arms so tightly wrapped around herself that it looked as if she was actively trying to hold herself together. When she eventually began to speak though, her words didn’t make much sense to him at first.

“No, you didn’t,” she whispered. “It’s just… I love it when you touch me. It’s… indescribable. I want to feel you, everywhere and all the time. I can’t get enough.”

Despite the weird tension between them, a smile was tugging at Hiccup’s lips. He’d hoped that she would enjoy their physical contact and was thriving on it when she reacted like last night, but actually hearing her say it was a welcome reassurance. However, her words certainly didn’t explain her behaviour. “And… that’s bad?” he asked carefully.

Astrid shook her head, still not looking at him. “No, it’s not. It’s just… I-I want to… to make you feel the same,” she eventually burst out. She sounded strange, vulnerable. “I mean, I know I have no experience. This… it’s all so new and confusing, and I don’t know how any of this works. All I know is that you make me feel so amazing, and I just want to return that feeling. Unless… unless you don’t want me to. If you don’t want me, then…” she broke off as her voice grew more brittle with every word.

At first, Hiccup could do little else but dumbfoundedly gape at her. She thought he wouldn’t want her? That was… ridiculous! “Whether I…” he began, bewildered. “What gave you that idea? That’s completely–”

“Then why won’t you let me touch you?” she interrupted him, sounding even more vulnerable than before. “I know that I’m not any good, but I’m willing to learn. I just…” She shrugged awkwardly with her arms still wrapped around herself.

“You think...” he whispered, unsure whether she could even hear him. Was she serious? She thought that he didn’t want her to touch him? Feverishly, he tried to come up with a way to explain, to make her understand, but he could only come up with one sensible solution. It was still a stupid one, one he shouldn’t pick. Because he wanted her too much. But Astrid was hurting over this misunderstanding, and if that was the only way to explain himself…

With two quick steps, Hiccup approached her and took her into a tight embrace. So far, he’d always tried to be as careful as possible with what exactly he let her feel of his body, both because he hadn’t wanted to spook her and because he already wanted her more than was good for him, even without her body pressing and rubbing against his cock with every other movement.

But this time was different. This time, he deliberately pressed his crotch against her back, letting her feel just how much he wanted her. The unexpected contact made him twitch in eager anticipation, something Astrid apparently felt too, judging by her hiccupy intake of breath.

However, he didn’t want to upset her further, in any way. “Silly woman,” he murmured softly against her neck. “Of course I want you. Gods, Astrid, you have no idea just how... appealing you are to me.” He paused, trying to think of how to explain himself. “I… don’t know what exactly the Temple taught you, but–”

With a harsh snort, she bit out, “Assume that they taught me nothing!”

Hiccup blinked at her tone; he’d heard her annoyed, even angry, but that sounded like ages of frustration finding a target. However, as she settled back against him, she felt less tense, so that was good. It meant she wasn’t angry – or at least not angry at him!

Swallowing against the heat coursing through his body, Hiccup nodded against her hair. “Do you feel this?” he asked in a rough voice as he pressed himself a little closer, the friction making him twitch again. Astrid nodded. “When they're aroused, men get… hard. And that's what you can feel right now, me being aroused beyond being able to make sensible decisions.” He chuckled shakily. “And it's all because of you. You ask whether I even want you to touch me? Freya, yes, I want that. More than you can imagine.” Oh, yes, this hadn't been a wise idea, Hiccup thought as a shudder ran through his body. Gods, he wanted her so much… And Astrid shifting in his arms and further rubbing against him didn't exactly help either.

“Then… why won't you let me?” she asked again in a small voice, at complete odds with her tone a moment before.

Gasping out another desperate laugh, Hiccup let his forehead drop until it rested on her shoulder. “Because I don’t trust myself,” he mumbled, the embarrassing truth of those words making him glad that she wasn’t looking at him right now. “We both know that we can’t have sex just yet, but I fear that… that if we get to close, neither of us will be able or willing to stop. So it is my responsibility to make sure. And this is the rule I gave myself; that I would always keep my trousers on around you. If I don’t take them off, nothing can happen.”

In his arms, Astrid noticeably relaxed, further leaning into his embrace. “I wish you’d told me about that,” she breathed, laughing nervously. “That would have saved me quite a few hours of distress. Or the whole charade of sneaking away and hiding here, for that matter.”

“I’m sorry,” Hiccup murmured, gulping. “I know it’s my task to explain everything to you, but I’m not really doing a good job, am I? I… I’m just trying to go slowly, to not overwhelm you. There are many things we haven’t talked about yet, but I thought we would do so when they come up. But be assured, me holding back has nothing to do with not wanting you. Gods, Astrid, the things I want to do…” Hiccup trailed off, his whole body trembling with just thinking about the options. Those would be two horribly long years…

“What would you want to do?”

Distracted as he was by the images in his head, Astrid’s question caught him a little off guard. “Excuse me?”

She hesitated, then wiggled in his arms until she’d turned around to face him. There was a mix of curiosity, excitement, and anticipation gleaming in her eyes, and Hiccup already knew that it would be tough to turn down whatever she wanted. “If we could do whatever we want to… what would you do? Right now, I mean. Can you tell me? Or show me?”

“Astrid…” he began, pained, but she didn’t even let him really start his complaint.

“I get that restriction, that rule you put up, and I respect it,” she said, smiling up at him so prettily that Hiccup felt like he could fall in love with her all over again. “But I’m so curious, want to know how it all works.” She shrugged. “So I thought, maybe at least talking about it is okay?”

Hiccup bit back something like a desperate groan. Simply talking could already be enough to make him combust and soil yet another pair of trousers. But she had a point, and not talking would only cause more confusion. “You’re right,” he said in a low voice, nodding. He took a minute to think, but then decided he just as well could stop minding having to wash his clothes more regularly. This was all they could do for now, so they better made the best of it as long as they had the time.

More content now with their situation, Hiccup somewhat regained his confidence. “You want to know what I’d like to do if we could?” he asked in a rough voice.

Astrid, who apparently had noticed the change in him, just nodded mutely, eyes shining brightly.

He moved, gently guiding Astrid backwards until she hit a pile of neatly stacked straw bales. Fighting down a last flicker of nerves, he lifted her so that she sat on those bales, at just the right height. “If we could,” he murmured, his hands sliding down her legs to hoist up her skirts. “Then I’d like to take you like this.” His eyes never left hers as he stepped between her parted legs, always looking for a hint of uneasiness or discomfort. But there was nothing the like, only joyful anticipation. He made another step so that their bodies touched, his bulge against her crotch. Even through their clothes, he could feel her heat, could tell by the slide that she was wet, aroused. It made the heat inside himself burn even hotter; having blood in his head to help him think was not a priority anymore.

“If you’d let me, if it were possible,” he went on, hands gliding around to settle on her hips. “Then I’d push into you now, slow and deep, savouring.” He pressed himself closer against her which drew a beautiful little gasp from her. The sound made him buck forward, making her yelp in return and left them both gazing at each other through dazed eyes. He bucked again, deliberate now, and Astrid’s moan was almost enough to undo him on the spot.

“I would want you to feel me,” he muttered in-between panted breaths as he kept moving back and forth. “And to feel you in return, your tight heat. I want to hear you, want to taste you.” He leaned in to dip his tongue into her mouth, even as they were both too distracted to kiss properly. Astrid’s hands were on his shoulders now, clutching, pulling him closer.

Hiccup let his head drop to her shoulder as he increased the pace of his movements. One arm was around her waist, the other around her back, holding her tight as he kept grinding their bodies together, her sweet moans in his ear. “I want to mark you,” he mumbled against the bare skin of her shoulder. “And to be marked by you. I want to be one with you in every possible way. Gods, I love you, Astrid. And the day you become my wife will be the happiest day of my life.”

Astrid’s response was little more than a string of whimpers, gasps, and moans. He could tell that she was moving with him by instinct, intensifying the friction even more, and he knew that, if someone were to come in now, he couldn’t have cared less in that moment. All that mattered was Astrid, how she clutched him tightly, rutting against him until the most sinful of moans left her. Her orgasms were always beautiful, thrilling, the way she shook as pleasure consumed her. And just like last night, it was more than enough to let him tip over the edge as well. Muffling his desperate howl against her skin, he came, shuddering, pressed against Astrid as tightly as possible.

His mind had barely begun to work again, when her trembling laughter reached his ears. “Mmmh, yeah,” she hummed. “I can’t wait for when we can do this for real either.”

Hiccup couldn’t help but laugh, free and liberated, and it only took a second or three until Astrid chimed in as well. Gods, how was it possible that he was allowed to be with her?

. o O o .

Feeling much lighter than she had this morning, Astrid left the stables a few hours after she’d hidden herself there. When she reached the top of the small hill, she couldn’t help but turn to look back one last time. But just as they’d agreed upon, the doors were already closed, Hiccup not standing there to gaze after her.

It was a miracle that nobody had barged in on them, all things considered; they couldn’t risk blowing their cover now just by prolonging their farewell. It wasn’t for long anyway; she’d be back in a few hours. The thought made her smile, despite the prospect of being found by Eret or Dagur at any moment, and of getting scolded by a whole lot of people for sneaking away.

But it had been worth it. After last night, when even in his drunk eagerness Hiccup hadn’t let her touch him, she’d felt so confused, conflicted. It wasn’t that she’d really doubted Hiccup’s feelings for her… But she had wondered, had feared what his reluctance could mean. She’d wanted to give him everything, but hadn’t been sure whether that would be enough.

Now though? Now, she was appeased. Hiccup’s explanation had been logical and practical, enough to make her see reason too while at the same time letting every single one of her troubled thoughts evaporate. But it was even more than just that. She’d learned another lesson today; the lesson that she could ask Hiccup everything. And she would. They only had a few weeks left, but she intended to get as much out of those as possible, to spend every moment she could with him and to learn whatever she could.

“Thank Odin, there you are!” called suddenly a voice from behind her, and Astrid turned to give Eret a sheepish smile. “We’ve been looking for you forever. Where have you been?”

Astrid shrugged nonchalantly. “Oh, I’ve been just walking around in the woods,” she said matter-of-factly. She’d already planned ahead what she would tell him after all, had even taken a large detour on her way back to the castle to hide where she’d actually been. “The moment I return to the castle, my governess regains control over my life again, and I wanted to avoid that as long as possible.”

“Yeah, I thought so,” Eret sighed, and she could tell by the grimace on his face that he didn’t really blame her for sneaking away. “And I understand. But I’d still prefer if someone knows where you are if you need to hide. You know I’d even cover for you, right?”

“Thanks, Eret.” The smile she gave him, though be it an honest one, still felt like a lie. She believed him; he would cover for her, had already done so in previous years. He was trustworthy, more so than almost everybody else she knew. And yet, she couldn’t let him know the truth. She wasn’t even sure whether he would actually betray her trust when it came to her relationship with Hiccup. But if she told him her secret, she would effectively force him to lie to Daniel when they met come summer, and that was a burden she didn’t want to place on her friend. So she just wound her arm through his in a familiar gesture as they walked back toward the castle. “I appreciate the offer, and maybe I’ll even take you up on it. But for today, I think my time is up.”

The walk back to the castle was filled with companionable silence, a last reprieve before life came crashing down on her again. But even having her governess scold her for her sudden absence wasn’t able to make her regret or feel bad in any way. Everything was worth it when it meant she could spend time with Hiccup.

The rest of the day went just as she’d expected. After the scolding came lessons, but in what Astrid couldn’t remember, her governess’s words not even registering in her mind. Eating dinner felt… different though. It wasn’t quiet or boring with the Grand Dukes, Eret and Dagur keeping her and her father company. But Daniel’s absence seemed to hover over her like a dark cloud. It wasn’t that she was worried for him, not really. But with him gone...   

At the end of the day, she let herself fall into the soft cushions of her bed, sighing deeply. It sounded theatrically, even to herself, even though it was only halfway exaggerated. Turning her head, she glanced at the wooden horse standing on her bedside table. Ruff had seen how it had been a part of her gifts and probably assumed it came from Eret – and Astrid hadn’t corrected her. It meant that Astrid had felt free to place the figurine into her bedchamber, that she now had a physical reminder of Hiccup right there next to her bed. Which was good.

Now that Daniel had left, her life would return to its usual routine of lessons in embroidery and etiquette, painting and socialising. Maybe she would be allowed a free afternoon with Eret and Dagur every now and then, but that would be it. It was a depressing prospect, and if it weren’t for the nights with Hiccup, she might have screamed.

But at least she had those nights – for now at least.

~ The End Of Part 2 ~

. o O o .

So, yeah... Again the reminder that this story will be on hiatus now until April 5th.

Next Chapter

[marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer]

MTVS Epic Rewatch #202

BTVS 7x17 Lies My Parents Told Me

Obligatory Soundtrack

Stray thoughts

1)  Tbh, instead of the Spike or the Ripper spin-off, THIS is the spin-off the Buffyverse needs and deserves…

We don’t get to see much of Nikki Wood but the little we do, I love. She definitely has Buffy’s sass, spunk, and punning powers. And she can kick ass!! I just think it’s such a wonderful premise to have a black slayer fighting demons in the backdrop of 1970s New York.

It’s also neat to see the interactions between Nikki and Spike and how they mirror Spike’s relationship with Buffy in the early seasons – Spike chasing after her in what looks like foreplay to him while the Slayer only feels hatred and disgust towards him yet they’re still pitted against each other as worthy opponents.

2) I truly feel for Robin in this scene, though.

I mean, getting his ass saved by his mother’s murderer must be very conflicting, to say the least.

3) This is such a sad yet truthful statement…

Hey, any apocalypse I avert without dying? Yeah, those are the easy ones.

4) Oh, Giles, don’t you ever go changing…

BUFFY Maybe you're right. Maybe everything is fine.

BUFFY Giles, what's wrong?

GILES Have you seen the new library? There's nothing but computers. There's not a book to be seen. I—I don't know where to begin, Buffy. I mean, who do we speak to?

I just love that amidst all the chaos and end-of-the-world-ness, he’s worried about the school not having a library.

5) I think this scene was kind of meta, don’t you?

6)

SPIKE Oh, bollocks. With all the rubbish people keep sticking in my head, it's a wonder that there's room for my brain.

GILES I don't think it takes up that much space, do you?

BURNNNNNN!!!

7) The CGI, though, it’s so cringey, looks like they did that with MSPaint.

8) Oh, and the cringefest continues, yikes…

I mean, where do I start? First, there’s the poem…

Yet her smell, it doth linger, painting pictures in my mind. Her eyes, balls of honey. Angel's harps her laugh. Oh, lark. Grant a sign if crook'd be Cupid's shaft. Hark, the lark, her name it hath spake. "Cecily" it discharges from twixt its wee beak.

I mean, it’s not necessarily bad, but it’s not… good. “Balls of honey”? Really, William? Really?

Then, there’s the fact that he’s obviously obsessed with Cecily and writing what apparently amounts to be a creepy amount of poems about her with HER ACTUAL NAME in them, and then he goes, “Hmmmm, Who is't is this cecily thee speaketh of? I knoweth not whom thee couldst possibly beest talking about. I has't nev'r hath heard such a name. Cecily, thee sayeth?”

And then there’s this, which is almost as cringey and disturbing as what comes later on between these two…

WOMAN She's lovely. You shouldn't be alone. You need a woman in your life.

WILLIAM I have a woman in my life.

WOMAN But you ne… Oh...

She’s like blushing? They’re flirting? I just…

9) I get everyone freaking out about Spike’s trigger being activated, but the truth is, the trigger seemed to be dormant until they went messing with his head. What I don’t get is Spike wanting them to unchain him, though. It doesn’t make much sense when he had chained himself before and even asked Buffy to off him a couple of times. Why would he want to be free now that he knows he could still hurt people? I understand they were building up the conflict between Buffy/Spike vs Giles/Robin by having him ask to be released and having Buffy agree with him WHEN IT’S OBVIOUS HE SHOULD BE CHAINED UNTIL THEY FIGURE IT OUT AND IT’S COMPLETELY OOC FOR BOTH HIM AND BUFFY TO ARGUE OTHERWISE.

10) I fucking love Drusilla’s reaction here…

WILLIAM We'll ravage this city together, my pet. Lay waste to all of Europe. The three of us will teach those snobs and elitists with their falderal just what—

DRUSILLA Three?

WILLIAM You, me, and mother. 

11) And then he goes and does the most sexual thing a vampire can do with a human BUT he’s surprised when that other thing happens? I’m sorry, but your relationship with your mom was weird way before she made a move on you…

12) I truly don’t get why they can’t read into The First’s actions and realize that it was manipulating them into doing exactly what they were planning to do. It’s so obvious to me, and I expected more from Giles, tbh. I can understand Robin because he had a personal vendetta against Spike and that’s obviously more important to him than the grand scheme of things. But Giles?

ROBIN Mr. Giles... You got a moment?

GILES What's on your mind?

ROBIN The same thing that's on yours. We got ourselves a problem.

GILES Spike.

ROBIN Yeah, if that trigger is still working, then the First must be waiting for just the right time to use it against us.

GILES It does seem doubtful the First simply forgot it had such a powerful weapon.

ROBIN Yeah, a while back, it slipped up. It told Andrew it wasn't time yet for Spike. So, whatever the First's ultimate plan is, it's obvious that Spike must play an integral part in that. Something needs to be done.

GILES Buffy would never allow it

Robin conveniently leaves out the fact that The First contacted him personally and divulged the fact that Spike had killed his mother. It truly doesn’t get more obvious than that! And I understand why Robin wouldn’t care. It was selfish but totally understandable.

On the other hand, Giles’s stance is rather disappointing. Not only because he fails to read between the lines but also because he’s clearly underestimating Buffy’s ability to make the tough calls when push comes to shove. Buffy had always proven that she has what it takes to make sacrifices for the greater good, even if that means dying or killing someone she loves. And at the same time, we know that she finds strength in her emotions and her love for others. So it’s kind of bewildering that Giles doubts her at this point.

There’s also the hypocrisy of him washing his hands clean off her when she needed him the most and was actively asking for his help but trying to dictate her actions and decisions now by deceiving her. I think that’s what gets me angry, really. It’s not his trying to off Spike, as daft a move that was. It’s his lying to her and deceiving her in order to do something he knew she wouldn’t agree to.

13) So, this is for the greater good, Robin? Hmmm…. 

It looks more like you’re trying to fulfill your revenge fantasy. Or maybe he had a weird crosses fetish?

14) I mean…

ROBIN No, I don't wanna kill you, Spike. I wanna kill the monster who took my mother away from me.

Technically, he could never kill the monster who killed his mother. To begin with, Spike has a soul now and by the show’s standards, he wasn’t the same person who’d killed Nikki. This is the reason why Robin chooses to use the trigger. But the monster that shows up when Spike’s trigger goes off is not the person who’d killed Nikki either. When Spike’s under the influence of the trigger he seems to be a much more primal, instinct-driven, lethal vampire, which is not the pre-soul Spike we’ve known.

15) I really like how the fight is juxtaposed with the scene between Spike and his mom. It’s a really nice way to show how he gets to accept and overcome the burden that makes the trigger work. You can see that he’s beaten not because of Robin’s punches but because of what he’s remembering.

I mean, who wouldn’t be traumatized…?

16) I kind of see some of the points both of them make during their final conversation. Spike, as usual, makes some very good observations as regards Robin and his vendetta against him in the sense that he’s trying to put the blame on Spike for getting robbed of his childhood when that’s not really the case. While it’s not true that Nikki “knew what she was signing up for” because being a Slayer is not a career choice or even a calling, she did choose to put her duties as a Slayer before her personal and family life, which is why she ended up getting killed. I think it would be interesting to see how she got that mentality. I can imagine her arriving at the conclusion that she had the chance to make the world a better place for her kid, which makes a lot of sense in my opinion. I can’t help but see her “the mission is what matters” statement as influenced by the Black Power movement, too. The thing is, the fact that Robin grew up without a mom was the result of a number of reasons. That doesn’t take away from the fact that Spike was, indeed, his mom’s murderer, but it feels like Robin was trying to channel his anger into Spike because he couldn’t deal with the fact that he resented his mother for not choosing him over her job. On some level, he must’ve blamed his mother, too. It’s just a very complex issue, and I don’t think Robin would’ve gotten over the whole thing just by killing Spike.

17) I’m not a fan of the resolution, though. The fact that Spike overcomes his trauma by pissing all over Robin’s in the most brutal way feels so wrong and unnecessary, and I don’t understand why the writers made that choice and expected the viewers to see Spike as the hero in that scenario. Of course, I didn’t want him to get killed and I do like how he got rid of the trigger – by being forced to confront what he probably deems his most horrible deed and understanding that what matters about his relationship with his mom is not its ending but everything that came before. But I don’t get why he had to be so brutal with Robin in order to do that? Telling him that his mom didn’t love him and all that? Like, these are all things Robin probably thought himself a million times before, but having someone else spit them out in your face – your mom’s murderer of all people – feels like the ultimate humiliation and I don’t appreciate the writers building up Spike as a “strong/badass” character again by trashing Robin in such a horrible way. I can’t imagine how anyone would cheer for Spike here? It feels wrong to do so.

18) This is the moment you choose to bring this up, Giles? Why wasn’t this an issue before? Why didn’t you question this before?

GILES You want Spike here even after what he's done to you in the past?

It’s such a douche move to bring this up when it suits your purposes instead of showing concern about this because, I don’t know, you’re worried about Buffy reconnecting with her attempted rapist?

19)

BUFFY I'm in the fight of my life.

VAMPIRE Really?

BUFFY Not you, Richard.

“Not you, Richard” is going to be my new “Take it easy, Joan.” I’m calling it. 

20) I just love how the second Buffy realizes that Giles has been stalling her, she slays the vamp without even looking. It probably was harder for her to not kill him.

21) This also rubs me the wrong way…

BUFFY You try anything again, he'll kill you. More importantly, I'll let him. I have a mission to win this war, to save the world. I don't have time for vendettas. The mission is what matters.

I get that she strongly believes Spike is a warrior they need in this fight, but that doesn’t mean that she shouldn’t stop him from killing Robin, someone who’s also an asset – vendetta or not - but more importantly, an innocent person. This is so unusually cold of Buffy, and I don’t like it at all.

22) I don’t know why Giles assumed that Robin would succeed in killing Spike? If he’d been smart and sneaky about it, of course, but Robin was more concerned about his vendetta and putting on a big show, he was probably the least qualified person to try and kill Spike because of how emotionally involved he was in the whole thing. It’s precisely because of his emotions that he didn’t succeed. And besides, fighter or not, he didn’t stand a chance against William the Bloody, which is the one he wanted to fight. Giles was kind of stupid, tbh. Like, he trusted this guy who he barely even knew with a very important task, one that would cost him his relationship with Buffy. And he didn’t even bother to make sure that Robin would do it in a foolproof way.

23) See the hypocrisy?

BUFFY He's alive. Spike's alive. Wood failed.

GILES Well, that doesn't change anything. What I told you is still true. You need to learn—

24) This is Buffy’s kiss of death, tbh, and I fucking love it, it’s so extra.

25) I’m kind of torn when it comes to this episode. I feel like it’s a solid episode in the sense that it explores both Robin’s and Spike’s issues with their mothers and Buffy’s relationship with her mentor/father figure. On the other hand, this is an episode that centers around three of my favorite characters in the show – Buffy, Spike, and Giles – and I can’t say that I like any of them in it. I can handle not liking one of them at once, but shaking my head at all of them simultaneously is too much for my poor fangirl heart, you know? I don’t know. They come across as idiotic, brutal, and cold, and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I love these characters, and watching them act so unlike themselves for the sake of the plot… I just get this uncomfortable feeling I can’t shake off. I feel... like second-hand wrongness or something.

26) If you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!

[sizzlingpenguincollector]

Fear Factor: Season 3: Episode 1: Part 1

I hope you all like this special version of Fear Factor Season 3 with all your favorite cartoon characters.

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Fear Factor Season 3: Animation Edition

Imagine a world where your greatest fears become reality. Welcome to Fear Factor. Each show, 6 characters from your favorite cartoons battle each other in three extreme stunts. These stunts are designed to challenge the characters both physically and mentally. If a contestant is too afraid to complete a stunt, they're eliminated. If they fail a stunt, they're eliminated. If they succeed, they move one step closer to the grand prize: $50,000. Six characters, three stunts, one winner. Fear Factor.

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Episode 1: Counter Balance Beam; Weenie Roast; Swinging Rope Bridge

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The six characters walk towards their destination on a windy day in the San Fernando Valley. They have been brought here for one reason: Stare fear in the eye for a chance at $50,000.

Daphne Blake

Coolsville

Mystery Inc.

"Despite my so called pretty girl appearance," Daphne said. "I'm a fierce warrior. I take karate lessons. Once they realized they underestimated me, they're going to wish they didn't even met me. And if I win the money, I'm gonna give most of my winnings to my co workers because they've been good friends to me."

Timmy Turner

Dimmsdale

Average Kid who no one understands

"I'm a simple middle class kid," Timmy said. "I know I'm young, but I'm gonna use that to my advantage. I just hope I don't see any clowns on this show. That would be a line I do not want to cross."

Francine Smith

Langley Falls, Virginia

Housewife

"My husband happens to be a CIA agent," Francine said. "Years I spent living in the shadows of my house, not willing to take risks. I'm ready to prove to myself that I'm more than a housewife."

DJ

Canada

Total Drama Contestant

"Most people know me from Total Drama," DJ said. "I'm ready to shed my image of a simple soft guy. I'm also willing to finally overcome my anxieties for some real dough, dawg."

Nazz

Peach Creek

Cool Girl

"Most people think I'm a simple minded blonde," Jazz said. "But I'm much more than that. If I win the $50,000 dollars, I'm gonna throw the most rad party ever! How cool would that be?"

Todd

Pleasant Hills

Average Kid

"I guess I'm kind of the underdog," Todd said. "But I can use it to my advantage. After all, everyone loves a underdog. It's great confidence for people. When I win the money, I plan to buy out Fleem Co."

They then saw the host, Joe Rogan waiting for them. He smiled as he saw the contestants. "What's up? What's up?"

"Hey Joe!" Timmy, Nazz, DJ, and Todd greeted.

"Hi Joe." Daphne and Francine greeted. Joe then started the usual introduction.

"You six people have been brought here from all over the country for one reason: To stare fear in the eye as you compete for $50,000. Now to win the money you're gonna have to complete 3 extreme stunts. Stunts that will not only test you physically, but mentally as well. If you're too afraid to attempt a stunt, you're be eliminated. Try a stunt and fail to complete it, you're gone. However, if you do succeed, you'll move on to the next round and be that much closer to $50,000."

Now that the rules have been explained, it's time to play. "Alright, here's your first stunt." Joe then pointed to a platform that's hanging high above a dusty cliff. "Hanging over 100 feet in the air is an 8x24 foot platform that'll rock back and forth as you move. When I say go, you'll try to collect as many flags as possible while trying to maintain your balance and keep from falling off the platform. The two men and the two women who collects the most flags the fastest will move onto the next round. We have randomly selected today's order and DJ, you're lucky number one."

DJ's eyes went wide as he realized he was picked first. He was afraid of heights, but he was willing to do the stunt anyway. "Ready man?" Joe asked him.

"Yeah dawg." DJ said.

"Alright let's go." Joe walked with DJ to get him ready. While they were away, the other contestants got to know each other better.

"So, how do you think DJ's going to do?" Timmy asked.

"He looks tough. I think he'll do fine." Nazz replied.

Francine shook her head. "I think he's going to fall. Then you're all going to fall, and I'm taking the money for myself!" She said with her best ego voice.

Daphne smirked at Francine. "Is that how you wanna play it? With trash talk?" Francine nodded. "That went out of style with that shade of blonde in your hair a few year ago."

Francine frowned as the other players, except Nazz, snickered. "What's with the mood?"

Todd then approached Nazz. "So, you wanna get a soda right after the show?"

Nazz giggled. "You're so cute..."

As Nazz walked away, Timmy stood next to Todd. "She wants me."

"Yeah. I can tell." Timmy said sarcastically.

At the platform, Joe decided to make small talk with DJ. "So, DJ the nice guy from Total Drama. This is a big step."

"Yeah. I get a little tired of being recognized from it though. I hear you and Chris McClean were friends."

"Yeah. We actually went to the same college together. I actually gave him the idea for the Phobia Factor and Brunch of Disgusting challenges. So, what do you plan to do with the money when you win?"

"I'm gonna give most of it to my mama." DJ replied.

"Aw...That's nice. Remember. You're setting the bar. So, good luck." Joe then left.

"Hey momma!" DJ said to the camera. "About to win you 50 G's!"

Joe then approached the others. "You guys rooting on DJ to win?"

"Yeah. He looks tough." Nazz said with a smile.

"He's gonna fall!" Todd said.

"Come on. He's a nice guy." Nazz said.

"Yeah. Well, nice doesn't pay to win, Carrot Top!" Francine said. Daphne gasped.

"Like you're one to talk...Blondie!" Daphne shot back. Francine gasped.

"Looks like we have a cat fight in the making." Joe said playfully.

They then watched the platform rise with DJ on it. "OK DJ, I'm gonna ask you to stand up!" Joe called out. DJ did just that. He then started turning white as he saw how high he was. "You ready DJ?" DJ nodded. He was scared, but he had no choice. "Here we go! In 3, 2, 1...Go!"

With that, DJ got to his knees and started moving slowly as the platform started swaying. It was windy, making it hard for him to focus. He got the first three flags, but then started feeling himself slip when he got the fourth and fifth flags. "No! Mama!" DJ screamed as he thought he was going to die. Once the safety rope caught him, DJ breathed a sigh of relief. "Man. Five measly flags."

He then made his way back down and joined Joe and the others. "DJ. What happened? You only got five flags." Joe said.

"It's probably because of the wind. It makes it really hard for you to concentrate when it's blowing in your face." DJ explained.

"Well alright. You got 5 flags in 16 seconds. Let's see if that holds up. Timmy, you're next. You ready?"

"I'm ready man." Timmy replied.

"Alright. Let's go." Joe walked with Timmy.

"Good luck!" Nazz called out. She then looked at DJ. "You did a nice job."

DJ smiled. "Thanks."

"Please! You're nothing but a simple cream puff!" Francine said.

"Well, Mega Bitch Godzilla is on the loose!" Daphne shot back.

Francine grew furious. "You take that back!"

"Nope. It's already out there."

Joe then stood with Timmy next to the platform. "So Timmy, you learned anything from watching DJ?"

"Yeah. Don't get on your knees. Just do a little squat."

"Good technique. What do you plan to do with the money if you win?"

"I'm gonna buy a whole lot of video game systems."

"Good. That's typical for a ten year old boy. Now how many flags you think you'll get?"

"8 in 12." Timmy said with confidence.

"8 in 12. Good estimate. Well, good luck." Joe walked back to the others as Timmy got prepped. The platform rose again with Timmy on it. "Alright Timmy, I'm gonna ask you to stand up!" Timmy did just that. "You ready?!" Timmy nodded. "Alright remember, you have to beat 5 in 16 seconds! You do that, you are in tomorrow! In three, two, one...go!"

Timmy then got into position and started collecting the flags. "One...Two...Three...Four..." He was able to get seven before falling off. He then made his way down and back to Joe and the others.

"Timmy. Nice job! 7 flags in 14 seconds." Joe commented.

"Hey. It was almost a piece of cake." Timmy said.

"Alright. Todd, all you have to do is beat 5 in 16, and DJ goes home. Ready?"

"Yeah! Let's do it." Todd said.

"Alright." Joe then walked with Todd.

"Man little dude, I underestimated you." DJ said with a smile.

"Thanks. I did the best I could."

"Yeah little dude. That was so rad." Nazz said.

Joe stood with Todd next to the platform. "Alright Todd, tell me about yourself."

"Well, I have a older sister, a dad who's a daredevil."

"A daredevil dad like Evel Kenevil? That's cool. Let guess, you also have a spy mom?"

"Actually yes. How did you guess?" Todd asked surprised.

"Just took a crack. So, give me your best estimate."

"Eight in 10. Easy."

"Eight in 10. Great. Well, good luck buddy." Joe then walked back with the others. Todd then sat on the platform as it rose high into the air. "Alright Todd, I'm gonna ask you to stand up!" Todd did just that. "Alright Todd, you ready?" Todd nodded. "Alright. Here we go, in three, two, one...go!" Todd then got onto his knees and started collecting flags. But, he was only able to get five before sliding off.

"Man! Five flags! Dang it!" Todd complained. He then made his way down and back to the others.

"Cheer up little dude." Nazz said.

"Alright Todd. You got five flags. You're tied with DJ." Todd frowned, as he and DJ thought the verdict was clear. "But, you got them in 14 seconds." Todd smiled. He was moving on to tomorrow. "DJ. I'm sorry. It was nice having you here, but we got to send you packing."

"It's cool man." DJ said with a sad smile. "It was fun."

"Alright. Take it easy." Joe said as DJ walked the walk of shame.

"Bye DJ." Nazz waved off.

"I guess I still have to overcome some of my anxieties. I'm really disappointed that I didn't get far though. I just hope my mama doesn't get pissed at me." DJ said.

Joe then walked with Nazz to the platform. "Nazz, how are you feeling?"

"Totally pumped, dude!"

"Good to know. Anyone special you doing this for?"

"My sweetheart Kevin."

"Aww. That's nice. Listen, you're the first girl. So you got to set that bar. You got that?"

"Yep."

"Alright. Good luck." Joe then walked back to the others.

"Man, Nazz is cool." Todd said dreamily.

"Please! She's so not into you." Timmy said.

"What? You want her?"

"No. I already got a girl of my own back at home."

Nazz then got onto the platform as it started to rise. "Alright Nazz, stand up!" Joe called out. Nazz did just that. "Alright, are you ready?!"

"Totally!"

"Alright! Remember, you're the first girl! So set that bar high! In three, two, one...go!" With that, Nazz got onto her knees and collected as many flags as she could. After she got the fifth flag, she slipped and fell off. "Five in 18 seconds!"

"I'm so gonna beat that!" Daphne said.

"Well then, have fun falling, red head!" Francine smirked.

"You say one more insult, and I'll smack you!"

Nazz then made her way back to Joe and the others. "Nazz! Very impressive. 5 in 18. How was it?"

"Well, it was a lot like DJ said. Very windy. But, I did the best I could."

"Well, let's just hope that holds up. Daphne, you ready?"

"Yes Joe. I am."

"Alright. Let's get you prepped." Joe then walked with Daphne. "So Daphne, I heard you and Francine talking a lot of trash talk to each other."

"I just don't want her to win." Daphne admitted.

"I totally understand that. So, other than the money, what's your motivation for doing this show?"

"My friends at Mystery Inc. Even Shaggy and Scooby."

"Well, that's nice. Good luck."

"I hope that girl falls hard." Francine said.

"What's your deal?" Nazz asked, confused by her behavior. The platform then rose with Daphne right on it.

"OK Daphne, stand up!" Joe called out. Daphne did just that. "OK. You ready?"

"I'm ready!"

"Alright! You have to collect five in 17 seconds! You do that, you are in! Here we go! In three, two, one...go!" With that, Daphne got onto her knees and started collecting as many flags as she could.

"Fall now!" Francine called out, trying to throw Daphne off her balance. To Francine's shock, Daphne moved quickly and got 8 flags before falling.

"Nice job, Daphne!" Joe called out.

"How many I got?!"

"8 in just 9 seconds! You not only collected the most, but you got the fastest time! Congratulations! You are in!"

Daphne made her way back down and to Joe and the others. "Wow! That was so awesome!" Nazz said.

"Thanks. Let's see you beat that...Blondie!" Daphne smirked.

"Knock off, bitch!" Francine shot back.

"Alright Francine, come with me." Joe then walked with Francine. Francine was nervous. She had to collect the most flags or she was going home.

Francine decided to skip talking with Joe in order to get focused. She sat on the platform as it rose. "Alright Francine, stand up!" Joe called out. Francine did just that. "OK, are you ready?!"

"Just count me down!" Francine said.

"Alright. Remember, you have to get 5 flags in 17 seconds, or you are going home. In three, two, one...go!" With that, Francine moved slowly and grabbed the first and second flags. The wind really made it hard for her to concentrate. She was wasting a lot of time. She only got to the fifth flag before falling off. Francine knew she lost. "You know what?! F*** this! And f*** everyone of you!"

"She got 5 flags, but she got them in 25 seconds! Nazz, you are moving on!"

Nazz cheered and hugged Daphne. We now had four players who were closer to $50,000.

"Well, congratulations everyone. You are all moving on. Let's get out of here and see what tomorrow has in store for you."

"Let's move it!" Timmy announced. With that, the four contestants started walking away, to get some rest for tomorrow's stunt.

Stay tuned for the second stunt

[majesty-madness]

How Could I: Book 1 (Kakashi’s fate)

10-Darkness

When I felt him there, I started to relax. "What's wrong Kana? You seemed to afraid" he asked with concern.

"I'm fine, Kakashi. Don't worry I-I can handle this" I reassured, pulling out a kunai and holding it up. I refused to let go of Kakashi's hand, honestly I think I held onto too much.

Kakashi pulled me closer to him, we were back to back "Kana, calm down. I'm right here, I'm not leaving you."

My heart continued to beat fast from fear. I had been on so many missions before this but this was something else entirely. Just when I started to relax, kunais were thrown at Kakashi and I, unfortunately, forcing us apart.

"Who's there?!" I shouted, unknowingly giving away my position,

Suddenly another wave of kunais were thrown in my direction and there were more this time. I raised up the kunai I held, deflecting the others from piercing my body.

It seemed that Kakashi had the same problem. I heard the noise of metal bouncing off metal from non visible area, "Kakashi, are you okay?" I shouted, breaking my concentration once again. Out of nowhere, one of the kunais sliced my hand. I winced at the sharp pain, it didn't feel very good considering the cut was fairly deep and with that I could be making a path of blood leading right to me.

Finally all the chaos just stopped. The fog somehow cleared but I didn't think it was natural fog to even begin with. I turned my head to see Kakashi completely unharmed. I was so relieved to see that he was okay.

However, I didn't come out totally unscathed. Kakashi must have smelled the blood because he immediately asked if I was injured. I didn't have time to answer when some creep showed up behind me.

"Guessing from your head bands, you two are Leaf shinobi." a strange voice said just behind me.

I froze. It felt so horrible, not being able to do anything, I felt so weak and pathetic. As I thought that I had lost this battle, in a flash Kakashi picked me up from the snowy ground, carrying me away from the man that was just seconds from killing me.

I turned my head to look him in the eyes "I'm sorry, I know I should have done something, instead of just standing like a-" before I could finish I felt his lips touch my cheek. "Kana I told you, you need to relax because if you don't you could get seriously injured or worse" he whispered in my ear. I blushed. I was enjoying Kakashi holding me until that creep started to clap "Young love is something else isn't it? And you two look like the perfect couple" he laughed, revealing the most disgusting grin I've ever seen, "And that young lady of your's, maybe I should take her away for my own needs" he smirked taking a step closer toward me and Kakashi. I looked back at Kakashi, I could tell from his eyes that he wasn't thrilled by that guy's comment.

"Kakashi remember? Stay calm. Getting angry at this guy will only make things worse" I whispered, making sure that the guy wouldn't hear me.

Kakashi set me down onto the ground, so that I was standing on my own two feet. This time I wasn't going to get scared or even run away, I was going to fight this guy and nothing was going to stop me from doing so.

I got in a fighting stance, clinched my kunai tightly in my hand but quickly winced again at the pain from the cut I had received only moments before. Kakashi looked at me "Are you alright?" he asked, showing his vulnerability.

I grunted, a shot of pain coursing through my hand. Blood profusely dripped down my arm in long streaks "Yeah I just got a cut on my hand when this creep threw a kunai at me" I sneered as I pulled out a bandage and quickly wrapped it around my wound.

I looked to Kakashi then nodded. I dashed over to the creep, throwing several kunais at once in the process. He dodged them easily but Kakashi appeared in a flash right behind. He had his lightning blade ready, he didn't hesitate. Kakashi lunged forward, trying to pierce this guy's heart. Unfortunately, that creep dodged that attack, and he sprinted toward me.

In an instant, I reappeared from behind, punching him with all my strength right at the center of his spine.

He flew across the ground, crashing in the deep inches of the snow, he laid still for a few minutes. Somehow with my attack it just wasn't enough. He slowly lifted himself from the snow, gasping for air. I could see my punch had a serious effect on him because when he coughed he quickly threw up puddles of blood.

"Kakashi, I managed to do some internal damaged to his body but I thought it would be much more difficult." I stated, taking pride that I just wounded this man.

Kakashi kept his stance "Yeah but be careful. Something's off about this guy. He was able to take down the other two Anbu that were with us, they were high ranking even for the black ops, which would make him very strong yet we were able to wound him that quickly. Something doesn't make sense here. Either he underestimated us or he has something else in mind."

I nodded, acknowledging Kakashi's valid sentiments. I knew something was wrong though making him somewhat weaker gave us the advantage.

That creep glared at the both of us, which was unsettling all on it's own "Listen to me you creep, what's you're purpose for wanting to take revenge on the Leaf village?!" I growled. It drove me insane knowing this guy wanted to destroy my home, the place where I was born, where Obito grew up.

That creep started laughing. I hated his laugh, it made my skin crawl "What the hell are you laughing at?!" I yelled angrily.

"Creep? My name is...well you can just call me Masaru." he paused, wiping off some of the snow that remained planted on his shoulders "I like you, you're so feisty, I love that in a woman. When they try to resist but it doesn't go as planned." he smirked, arrogantly.

"You know what instead of killing you, I'll just kidnap you and make you mine" he grinned while crossing his arms over his chest.

"Why would yo-" I didn't have time to finish when I saw him disappeared then reappeared right behind Kakashi.

Kakashi was about to react but Masaru was faster this time. He quickly punched Kakashi in the back, causing him to fly across the snowy blanket that covered the ground.

"Kakashi!" I cried, getting ready to run over to him but I felt someone's else's hands wrapped around my waist. I turned my head to see Masaru "Let go of me, You bastard!!"

Masaru grabbed my mask, crushing it into dust with his bare hand. He stared into my eyes for far too long. All I wanted was to get to Kakashi, to make sure he was alright.

"Wow you're even more beautiful than I imagined, you'll make a nice wife" he smiled holding me closer to him.

Masaru must have attacked Kakashi harder than I thought because he wasn't moving at all. I was so desperate, my eyes hastily filled with tears and I tried to hold them back but it was too late, hot tears rolled down my cheeks "Kakashi, p-please" I whimpered, trying as hard as I could to get out of Masaru's grip but it was to no avail.

"Aww, don't be sad my dear. We'll just leave him be, and you and I can get to know each other better" he quickly weaved hands signs, using one hand. I recognized those signs, it was for a transportation jutsu.

I cried harder, pushing myself away but Masaru' grip was just too tight, there was no way I could escape.

My gaze drifted over to Kakashi's limp body, taking in what might be the last moment I'll ever see him again "Good-bye Kakashi. I love you" I whispered then I disappeared into then, leaving my dearest far behind me.

[farklelucas]

Hey could you write a jaylos fic where they like each other but are oblivious to each other's feelings and no one can make them realise until chad 'comes onto'/flirts with Carlos and jay gets jealous please? xxxxx

oh anon…. u found it… my secret kink… mutual pining

the pov switches many times in this story, but it’s pretty easy to follow. i think so anyway. but i wrote it so? let me know if i did a good.

always taking fic prompts

“He loves you, you know.”

Jay glances over to Mal. She’s leaning up against the wall, and she’s staring at Carlos too. Is he that obvious? He scoffs and ignores her, going back to staring. God, he’s a creep. He wishes Carlos would just hit him or something; maybe that’d magically solve all his problems.

The problems in question? Oh, just that Carlos looks beautiful doing literally anything and everything. Dancing, singing, playing tourney, staring out the window. You name it, Carlos looks good while doing it. Take now, for instance. He’s working on homework with Evie, and the sun is dancing off of his beautiful white hair and Jay is pretty sure that if he was drunk, he’d be crying and lamenting about how beautiful Carlos is. (He’s a poetic drunk.)

Mal pushes off the wall and rounds herself to stand in front of him. “I mean it,” she says firmly. “He’s in love with you.”

He feels himself hold back a scoff. “Yeah? If he’s so in love with me, why has he never said anything?”

“You need a serious dose of common sense,” she mutters. Then she shakes her head. “Listen, can’t you just trust me for once? He’s so in love with you, and he loves you so much that he convinces himself that you could never love him and so he doesn’t say anything. And you?” She reaches out and pokes him in the chest. “You repeat the cycle.”

He swallows, hard. Somehow, he’s let his walls down around Mal so much that she sees every part of him. He has no idea how she did it.

Gently, he takes the finger she still has pressed to his chest and pushes it back towards her. “You’re wrong, Mal,” he says firmly. “Now drop it.”

She rolls her eyes, but, like a good friend, does as he asks. Her shoulders slump and she goes back to leaning up against the wall, looking at Carlos and Evie.

–

Carlos groans and puts his head on Evie’s lap. “Why,” he says. “Why, of all the people in this world I could be in love with, did I pick Jay?”

Evie smiles and reaches down to play with his hair. “I don’t think you picked him, sweetie,” she says. “I think your heart did.”

Another day, another time that Jay was wonderful and beautiful and kind and turned Carlos into a useless pile of mush. Today, Dude grew wings (potion gone wrong - long story, blame Doug) and flew into a tree. Who climbed up there to get him? Jay. Who is terrified of heights? Jay. But he still climbed up into the tree, retrieved the dog, and put him safely back into Carlos’s arms. Carlos doesn’t want to say that Jay is the best guy he knows, but…

“He’s the best guy I know,” he complains. “He’s great.”

There’s a pause where Evie plays with his curls and Carlos pouts. Eventually she succumbs and asks, “And?”

“And I’m absolutely in love with him! And if I told him, he’d be all, ‘Oh, that’s cool bro, wanna go get some pizza?’”

Evie laughs at his absurd Jay impression. “Carlos, I don’t think you’re really seeing the big picture here,” she says. “I think you might be missing that Jay really likes you, too. I mean, who wouldn’t? Handsome, heroic, good with dogs. You’re everybody’s dream boy.”

He smiles up at her, and she smiles back. “Thanks, Evie,” he says softly. “You’re really nice. But…”

She groans and flops backwards, laying her head against the dashboard. He rolls his eyes. “Carlos, I know you love to think Jay could never love you back,” she says. “But can’t you just ask him?”

If the pizza response was not a very real possibility. But it is. So he just continues to lay his head on Evie’s lap and drifts off into a nap.

–

“So, the winter ball is coming up.”

“And?”

“And… you should ask him.”

Looking up at her from his salad, Carlos glares. Mal raises her eyebrows, challenging him to fight her on it. His crush on Jay has only been getting worse and worse, and Evie and Mal think they’re helping, but definitely aren’t. “Mal, it’s none of your business,” he mutters. “Plus, how do you know I don’t have a date?”

She mulls this over for a moment. “Do you?” He says nothing, which she must take as a sign of victory, because she smiles wickedly. “Ah, I see. Just being stubborn.”

“You’re the worst,” he says. “Besides, he doesn’t even like me like that. I don’t even like him like that.”

“Well, then how do you know who I’m even talking about?”

A quick recap of their conversation reveals that she never explicitly said Jay’s name at any time. His ears burn. “Okay, so maybe I do like him,” he concedes. “But he doesn’t like me back, so it’s all moot.”

“You’re underestimating his ability to emote,” she says. “He doesn’t do it often, but sometimes, he does feel things.”

That makes Carlos laugh a little. Mal gets serious, though, and leans across the table to cover his hand in hers. “Promise me you’ll at least think about it?”

About how terrible of an idea that is? Sure, he can do that. He nods just a little and she smiles, patting him on the hand gently before leaning back to his side of the table, going back to her own lunch.

–

The winter ball, for people going alone, is hell. First of all, you have to go through the singles’ line (which is separated from the couples’ line by almost an entire football field’s worth of space). Then, you get a solo prom-type picture, except it’s you standing there looking entirely uncomfortable while the Fairy Godmother snaps a photo of you, commenting on how beautiful/handsome you look this evening. Then, you finally get to go to the dance, suffering all the while. Alone.

Luckily, Jay is not alone. Carlos is there. He came stag, too, and he’s being his usual goofy and fun self. He’s cracking jokes and bouncing excitedly and talking about various things and just being generally very adorable the entire time they’re in line. Jay always thinks he couldn’t possibly fall more in love with Carlos, and then things like this happen.

By the time they get to the front of the line, Carlos has him engaged in a story in which Carlos was chased by Dude throughout the entirety of campus, Ben hot on their heels. Jay is mid-laugh when the Fairy Godmother’s voice cuts through. “Oh, I’m so sorry, gentlemen, but you got in the wrong line. This is the singles’ line.”

Carlos and Jay glance at each other. Carlos has wide eyes and Jay sighs internally and eternally. “No, we’re singles,” he says. “We’re not together.”

She blinks and looks between them, frowning. “Oh, but I thought… Well, okay. No matter. Jay, would you like to go first?”

He steps up first, face still burning for him and Carlos getting confused as a couple, and tries to smile for the camera. “Oh, you look so handsome!” Fairy Godmother says, and takes the picture. He doesn’t bother waiting for Carlos, just excuses himself into the main dance hall.

At least the dance hall is filled with people. Mal and Evie have already made it through the couples’ line, and are sitting at a table they grabbed for the four of them. They wave him over, and he shuffles over with Carlos, apparently, right behind. “Hey guys,” Mal says, weirdly cheerful. “How was the singles’ line?”

Jay shrugs. “A pain in the butt, like most things at a school-sanctioned event,” he replies. “And the couples’ line?”

“Magical,” Evie gushes. “The photographer was wonderful. He gave us roses that matched our color scheme and everything!”

For a moment, he imagines what his and Carlos’s color scheme would have been. Red, he decides. Red and white. And roses that matched that were simply not as impressive.

“I’m going to go get some punch.” Everyone turns towards Carlos, who smiles a little and then turns towards the punch bowl at the other far end of the room.

When Jay turns back to Evie and Mal, he does not expect to see two seriously annoyed faces looking back at him. “Why didn’t you ask him again?” Evie asks.

He rolls his eyes. The amount of times the three of them have to have this conversation is awfully high. “He doesn’t like me back is the best one I can think of,” he says. “But I assume you’re tired of hearing that one?”

Evie rolls her eyes and opens her mouth to say something else, but Mal interrupts. “Uh, well, if you want to test that theory, you might want to do it now.” She points across the room. “Looks like Carlos is getting swept off his feet by literal Prince Charming.”

Everyone looks to where Carlos is practically backed up against the punch bowls, talking to Chad over a glass of punch.

Then, a weird feeling bubbles up in Jay’s stomach. It feels as if he’s gotten punched there a few times, like any moment he’s going to remember that he’s in pain and double over. It feels like a hot iron there, poking him relentlessly. It feels oddly like jealousy.

Without really consciously recognizing it, Jay walks forward, hands in his pockets, towards Chad and Carlos until he can hear what they’re saying. “I’m expanding my horizons,” Chad is saying. “Why only stick to princesses when princes are just as lucrative… I mean, charming?”

“Uh,” Carlos responds.

“So I figured it was about time that you and I resolve this… chemistry we have going on?”

“What chemistry? You mean, like, the class?”

“Uh. No.”

“… Um.”

Jay has heard enough. It’s pretty clear, even to him, that Carlos is uncomfortable. The feeling in his stomach settles, just a little, but he still needs to save Carlos. So he walks towards them and impulsively throws his arm around Carlos’s shoulder. Carlos jumps and Chad furrows his brow. “Hey, babe,” Jay says. Then he turns to Chad and smiles. “Chad, what’s up?”

Chad looks between them, frowning. “Oh, are you two, like, a thing?”

“Yep,” Jay says, “totally a thing. Right, babe?”

Luckily, Carlos seems to catch on. “Yeah, very together,” he says, nodding vigorously. “Sorry, Chad.”

After a long pause, Chad shrugs. “That’s alright. There’s other royalty in the sea looking for some Charming action.” Then he turns and heads the other direction.

Carlos turns to Jay and puts a hand on his arm. “You are a life saver,” he says. “Seriously, I had no idea how I was going to get out of there.”

“Luckily, you’re semi-intimidating boyfriend came to the rescue,” Jay jokes. Okay, he’s only half-joking.

The resounding smile from Carlos’s face is so bright and powerful it actually melts his heart. “Yeah, I’m lucky,” he murmurs.

Jay glances out on the dance floor. It looks like things are slowly beginning to wind down to a slow dance. “Uh,” he says, “hey, I don’t know if you… dance?”

There’s a pause, and then Carlos simply raises his eyebrows and says, “I do dance.”

His brain is short-circuiting. He keeps yelling at it: Ask him to dance! Ask him to dance! But all that comes out is, “Oh, cool, me too.”

Carlos laughs at that, a bright and infectious thing. “Jay,” he says softly, “would you like to dance?”

“Oh, I thought you’d never ask,” Jay says thankfully. Carlos laughs again, and Jay thinks that he could probably get pretty used to that sound.

[dacian-assassin]

basim, hytham, arno <3

Wow, so yeah, look at all this text...phew. Thank you for asking me 😍 and I’m sorry it took so long. I had to write about 3 loveable characters :3 😵

BASIM First impression: I remember seeing him in a screenshot taken from one of the trailers, long before he was introduced by Sigurd along with Hytham. I was intrigued and I thought and hoped that he was Altair's ancestor because of the Levantine aspect of his robes, and slowly, I was falling for him out of nowhere. Not to mention that once I heard his voice I was like BOOM: STRAIGHT TO HORNY JAIL. I knew he was the man!

Impression now: The impact he had on me throughout the whole game. The background story, the will for revenge taken to the depths of his own sanity just so he could accomplish it. It’s something I really liked given that the idea of Revenge is frequently added into my own writings. So I saw in him not just a handsome man, but some sort of inspiration for future characters. Now the real thing is...he’s good looking, has a sexy voice and oh man, the scenarios building up in my head don’t help me in living a normal life lol.

Favorite moment: Me watching the Campfire scene thinking he was really talking about a real son, having no bloody clue who he really is and I started making scenarios in my head that he might have had a wife waiting for him back home or that she might have died. Only after playing the game I realised what the discussion was all about, still the pain in his voice, the confused look on Eivor’s face...and the tension? OMG not to mention the cinematography, the angles and cuts to expression.

Idea for a story:  A story that involves an OC of mine, who also seeks revenge and they fall in love XD I’ve been working on it for months and I’m still not even through with it yet. 

Unpopular opinion: That Basim is not the villain. He’s in the right to seek revenge although he’s fighting the wrong person. I mean imagine both Basim and Eivor being stuck to the three of life only to have Loki and Odin fight one another and only then could they finally live in peace.

Favorite relationship: I mean, come on Basim and his staff XD...I’m jesting. I really liked the calm relationship between him and Hytham. I mean he was Loki all along and yet he still cared for the boy. Maybe he saw a son in him or perhaps something different and we might never know.

Favorite headcanon:  There are so many, I don’t know which one to pick. Maybe an AU where Basim lives and he goes back home, retiring and living a peaceful life, differently from what he expected and perhaps Eivor joins him too and Hytham becomes a highly skilled mentor 💕

HYTHAM

First impression:  Haha I remember how uninterested I was in Hytham after seeing him in the trailer and then in some demo gameplays, whilst I was obsessing over Basim and not finding a video that had him included. And I was basically annoyed, but he grew on me because he was an assassin and I found him kinda cute to be honest XD

Impression now: Now, I simply love Hytham. He is that type of man who would do anything to protect you, who is shy at first and sweet, but daaamn, later on he’d be a courageous little beast.  Anyway, the character development he could have had instead of just being left in a house, saying barely nothing had me angered to the core. The things he could have said and done, the quests, hell he might have wanted to travel with Eivor and raid some monasteries, but no, he was a talking statue. And he had so much potential; his background story and the things he could have done after the game was finished. He could have even said in the game at some point after Basim “left” that he was willing to depart for a while, to receive his rank and probably ask Eivor to go with him. Ahh the possibilities.

Favorite moment: Definitely the way he jumped off to take Eivor away from Odin’s blasts and into the safe zone. Simply being there to convince Eivor to come back to them and get rid of Odin’s clutch. The song playing in the background and him taking Eivor had me in tears all night and the next day just thinking at that scene.

Idea for a story: There are multiple stories, but a sweet one would be for Eivor to aid him after he recklessly tried to assassinate Kjotve. Eivor would take him from the pit and away from danger and look after him once the battle was finished. That would be a sweet story with a happy ending.

Unpopular opinion: He’s not really spoken off and I didn’t find any controversies about Hytham, maybe that he’s the shy type at first, but can totally slice your throat in the next second or, you know, breaking the bed. That’s what I think about him and I totally love him for that. Never underestimate the quiet, sweet ones MWAHAHAHAHA...I have issues!!

Favorite relationship: We don’t have much choice in choosing a relationship with him, it’s either Basim or Eivor, maybe Randvi too, but I like the friendship Hytham and Eivor have built. From mistrust, to having Hytham become the truest and most loyal companion Eivor could have met. They both went through the same betrayal coming from Basim and were left emotionally wounded.

Favorite headcanon: I like the idea on how the relationship between Hytham and Eivor can develop, especially after Hytham will get a promotion and get a higher rank in the brotherhood. The possibilities of both of them traveling together to his home and back to Norway because they miss their birth place is such a sweet thought to me.

ARNO

First impression: Heh, here we go. I started playing Unity recently and I can say I was patient enough to stay away from spoilers for a long time, not even listening to his voice. So when I heard him I was like “Damn boi, he’s nice!” I knew he was a very strong character...and hot. I was like “Yeah he’s hot, but have you seen the Axeman!?” And ever since Axeman slithered into my head after all that cinematic trailer, I simply forgot about Arno and I allowed the fandom to go crazy about him XD

Impression now: He’s sassy, he’s in love, protective and vengeful. I like the way he was written, although I have the feeling that he’s a bit underrated from what I’ve seen around the fandom. He’s such a great character and I haven’t even seen everything yet as I’m only halfway through with the game. Yet I still hoped Axeman will come out of nowhere to aid me in battle lol

Favorite moment: So far, I’d pick the hot-air balloon moment. It was just so sweet and I knew about it from before I could play the quest myself, but seeing him and Elise getting together, finally after all the struggles it was just too cute. I was shouting around the house to have Arno kiss her already XD

Idea for a story: An Elise and Arno happy ending where they get to become assassin mentors or they just leave Paris to live on the countryside, happily ever after with a little family of their own and no worries whatsoever *sniffing*

Unpopular opinion: Arno is a great assassin and not just handsome. He did join the creed to get revenge, but he still got the job done; uncovered secrets and killed those that betrayed the crown and not just Monsieur de la Serre. Just because he has “feelings” doesn’t mean he isn’t a strong assassin lol. Sometimes the fandom cannot be pleased in any way.

Favorite relationship: Definitely Arno & Elise! I mean they are a great duo, they love each other and both deserved better. It started off sweet when they were children and the fact that I can call them childhood sweethearts melts my heart. They had ups and downs but they came back to one another, attracted by something more than just love: memories, purpose and a beautiful future together :(

Favorite headcanon: That Arno will get to have a family with Elise, little children roaming their home and no worries to ever darken their spirits.

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