#Cleaned disco club

[riding-the-sunset-bird]

I was in a Baxter mood today so I went swimming in GB Patch's blog for all the Baxter facts:

General

His personality, at least defined by GB Patch, is that he's sheltered and out-of-touch without being elitist or self-centered. He's preppy/posh, quite sociable, and hates conflict, but likes to go against what's expected of him. He grows out of being such a rich kid trust fund baby by Step 4.

His parents are bigots. He's the unlucky one in a sea of characters with supportive parents.

He has a distant French origin.

His birthday is the day his DLC came out, meaning May 19th.

He's 5'11" (180cm) in Step 4 (this was apparently reconfirmed on the Our Life Discord as well).

His natural hair color - a dark dusty gray that he hates - is uncommon to be born with (as opposed to aged into) in the Our Life universe.

Childhood

His dream job as a child was to get into investments, having a strong portfolio with diverse assets (he does not fully know what that means at the time).

He's a late bloomer.

Baxter's crush on Qiu from Our Life 2 is at its peak when he's 12 and 13 (13 being his age in Our Life 2's Step 1), but he's moving on by 14 (when he can potentially meet the MC in Soiree).

He met Qiu at their local dance hall (as they both took lessons there, just in different forms of dance) and also met Ren/Renee (Darren in Our Life 2's Step 1) through Qiu, as the two had known each other since they were very young.

He wasn't thrown off by his crush on Qiu despite Qiu being a boy, as Qiu was popular and it seemed "unfair" to Baxter not to be able to like him. He puts more thought into it as he grows older and what it means, deciding that he'll feel however he'll feel and not worry about what's expected of him. In Soiree, the MC can notice this if they're male or non-binary, as Baxter isn't bothered by dancing with someone who isn't female.

Abilities (or Lack Thereof)

He's a weak swimmer. He can swim fine in pools but would probably struggle in the ocean.

He can sing.

He's experienced in multiple types of dance (though his favorite is the waltz).

Step 3 Baxter is a lazy, bad cook who doesn't even want to bother with cooking, but Step 4 Baxter takes an interest in trying more fancy/restaurant-style food and is able to do so.

Likes/Dislikes

He likes things being clean, but isn't always motivated enough to maintain that.

He liked video games when he was a kid, leaning towards action/adventure ones, though doesn't anymore in his late teens and beyond. He would play life-based games (such as the Sims series) with the MC if asked, however, either playing innocent like he didn't know what he was doing while messing around with the characters or being blatantly obvious about it.

He doesn't like dancing in clubs/discos. He would try it once because he enjoys trying different types of dance, but would only go regularly if he had a friend/partner who liked going to such places.

He would absolutely approve of an MC who chooses to only wear black and white.

Romantic Inclinations

Beyond his crush on Qiu (who he never confessed to), Baxter dates people, but never for long or seriously.

The reason he backs out of asking out the MC if they say that he's their first crush (unless the MC is referring to his Soiree self) is that he feels they have idealized feelings for him and he'd disappoint them. He essentially panics, not wanting to get the MC's hopes up and especially on their very first feelings of romance.

The best way to romance him is to Not Let Him Escape.

In terms of how Baxter will/won't date in the future between Step 3 and 4 if he had a fling with the MC, answers range from him not dating anyone if the player intent was that they were both genuinely in love, but would otherwise to him trying to move on with others but the flings become even more surface level than before to the point where he's simply going through the motions. He ultimately hits a breaking point (whether he dated the MC or not) and ends up improving due to the MC's return in his life and/or support from other people such as Xavier.

When it comes to what he's attracted to in another person, he likes seeing nail polish, false lashes/heavy mascara/naturally long eyelashes, and full suits (especially if they're expertly tailored).

His love language in terms of receiving is Quality Time, but in terms of giving, he will happily adapt to whatever the MC wants.

Clothing Choices

When it comes to Step 4 Baxter's personal dress code, he's always meeting/formal ready (even when not working) unless he's doing anything athletic, in which case the button-downs get a break.

- Likewise, his closet is basically all button-downs and fancy suits with a few exceptions including clothes suited for the cold.

Assorted

He immediately finds the MC and Cove appealing (not necessarily crushing on them) at the start of Step 3 as "beautiful beach strangers."

He'd be flattered to hear from an MC that they love his laugh/find it charming.

He says "hallelujah" because he's pretentious.

He doesn't know French, but does occasionally drop a French word he knows during Step 3 to "add to his formal flair." His Step 4 self considers it embarrassing in hindsight.

During the wedding in Baxter's Step 4, he will have Jude send along a vegan cupcake to the MC if they're vegan.

Semi-revealed during one of his mornings with the MC in Step 4, he has a multi-step daily skincare routine.

His Future

He has no preference over who he'd prefer to be the one to propose to the other in his relationship with the MC.

He would absolutely want to plan his own wedding (whether for or with the MC, depending on whether they want to be involved). He would not want another planner included.

He doesn't have a preference when it comes to last names during a wedding. He's just in awe that he's marrying someone at all.

He might consider having facial hair at some point in his life.

When it comes to having kids, he doesn't have any particular age he'd prefer to have them and is more of a "when it feels right" kind of guy. In terms of the number of kids, none is his default but he'd prefer to have two if the MC wants them, as he finds the relationship between the MC and Liz to be lovely and was personally lonely as an only child.

🍋 (below are asks that might be considered risqué - especially going to the posts themselves on some - but I wanted to include them for the sake of having all the information in one place; know that me and my prudish nature pushed through this for the people who want it and I hope you appreciate it! >:o) 🍋

This one definitely goes without saying due to being a love interest in a game where the MC can be she/they/he even down to being intersex, but Baxter is pansexual.

Baxter isn't good at being sexually active beyond being with an MC who wants that. He tries to bond with others but either fails to have his interest reciprocated due to being too forward or backtracks if he senses that someone is actually into him. His relationships are short/inconsistent for that reason.

He would never sleep with the MC during Step 3. He's already planning on leaving and wouldn't risk souring the relationship at any point even if the MC would want it. He wants company more than he wants sex and would not want to be remembered as the guy who slept with the MC and then just left without contacting them again.

Between chests and backsides, Baxter prefers the latter.

Baxter is a top (though is flexible on the matter), is into BDSM, and "kind of" has a sir kink.

[absurdthirst]

Dominate Love {Joel Miller x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 17.3k

Warnings: Sex club, sex work, dom/sub dynamics, rough sex, spanking, slapping, tit play, anal plugs, anal fingering, anal sex, oral sex (male receiving) vaginal sex, bombings, dry humping, angst, violence, beating a man to death, feelings

Comments: When the club Joel frequents to exert some semblance of control over his QZ life is bombed, he's there with you. His favorite toy. Dragging you to safety, he brings you along as he leaves Boston and allows himself to admit the truth to himself. He's in love with you.

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

|| MasterList || Joel Miller MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

The bass thumps, reminding Joel of a time that only lives in his memory now. The music doesn’t come from speakers like it would’ve during his nights out to clubs during the 80s. No lights flashing or disco balls spinning. No, the music is from a live band. A sorry reminder of a time gone by, a way to escape the harsh reality outside as the band plays songs from before the world went to shit. It’s not what Joel is here for. He makes his way through the crowd, an eclectic mixture of occupants of the Boston QZ, towards the door that leads to an area very few know about. Bootleg moonshine and whiskey make the floor sticky, booze he’s played a part in smuggling into the QZ, and he grimaces as his boots grow tacky. He cleaned them earlier alongside the hidden weapons he keeps under his floorboards. He approaches the stairway, glancing behind him before he makes his way down the stairs, sighing in appreciation of the reprieve to his eardrums. When he opens the door, he is greeted by a large security guard holding a rifle and a woman sitting at a desk; her dress is tight but conservative, well, conservative for the place she works. “Welcome back, sir.” She greets him, and he nods, a man of few words, when he enters this place.

“She’s ready for you.” The woman informs him, the security guard shifting from one foot to the other while he eyes Joel. He doesn’t back down, staring at the guard until the woman stands and gestures for him to follow. Joel follows her, his eyes dipping down to her ass as she walks, but he isn’t interested in fucking her. No, he has other plans. “Enjoy.” The woman says when she stands outside the assigned room, a smirk on her face as she hands Joel a foil packet. Condoms, as it turns out, were as necessary as bullets in this new world. The last thing people need during an apocalyptic world is a surprise pregnancy. Too busy trying to survive, yet not too busy to get lost in the sensations of sex. He shoves the packet into his pocket, turning to see the woman making her way back down the hall, then he turns towards the door. With an exhale, he opens it to find what he came here for: you.

You are kneeling on the bed, naked, and your head tilted down to avoid his eyes as he enters the dimly lit room. He shuts the door behind him, making sure it is loud enough to make you jolt, and he runs his fingers along the things he requested be waiting for him. The paddle, the whip, the clamps, and the handcuffs. All part of his arsenal. He is pleased that you have them waiting for him, lube sitting on the side, and he smirks, knowing you followed his orders from his last visit. “You listened to me. Good girl.” He finally speaks after several moments, and you remain silent, drawing a pleased hum from his lips. Joel pulls his shirt over his head, wearing a t-shirt today, and drops it to the floor, leaving him in his jeans and boots. He walks over to the bed, admiring your tits and how your hands are clasped together in front of you, resting in your lap. You are a pretty picture, and he desperately wants to burn this image into his brain to use later when he is not in this room with you. “Tell me your safe word, darlin’ girl.” He orders, reaching out to grip your chin, bringing your gaze to his. Christ, you have such pretty eyes. You don’t respond and he grunts, gripping your chin a little tighter. “You can speak.” He tuts and you blink a couple of times before responding with, “my safe word is raspberry, sir.” Joel hums, pleased with your answer, and his hand lowers to grip your neck. Your neck is so delicate; he could easily snap it. Violence has entrapped his entire being, forcing him to do things he never imagined he could bring himself to do. He has survived for this long, hardened by this harsh reality, but here, in this room, he allows himself to release the monster inside of him. Discipline rules the real monster; if he allows it small moments of release, he can control it better. He squeezes your neck tighter, and a small moan bubbles up from your lips. Joel chuckles, “such a dirty girl, ain’t ya? You get yourself ready for me?” He asks, eager to get this show on the road, he has a shipment coming in tonight from Bill, and he has to be there. “Yes, sir, I prepped myself when I got your message that you were coming.” You answer, and Joel smirks, pleased to hear you got his message through the grapevine that has curled itself around the QZ now that his Nokia is a relic. “Get on your knees and show me.” He orders, and he lets go of your throat. You obey, quickly shifting on the bed to turn around and kneeling on your hands and knees, arching your back to display your ass to his hungry eyes. Joel bites his lip, dark eyes admiring your ass, and he grabs your ass cheeks, squeezing them and spreading them to reveal the plug you nestled into your puckered hole before he arrived. The metal winks under the dim lighting, and his cock stirs to life in his jeans. “Fuck, ain’t that a pretty sight?” He murmurs to himself.

One hand lets go of your cheek, and he pushes against the plug, enjoying how you whimper in response, back arching a little more. “Oh, you like that?” He asks, and you bite your lip, forcing yourself to remain quiet until he permits you. “Answer me.” He growls, wasting no time bringing his hand down to smack your ass cheek, hard and quick. Enough to make you gasp and blurt out your answer, “yes, sir. I- I love it.” He enjoys your answer, knowing he hasn’t even started. He grips the plug, twists it, and smirks when you moan softly. “You want me to fuck this little hole?” He questions, and you nod, “yes, sir. Fuck, I want that.” Joel smacks your other ass cheek, “you’re a dirty little whore, ain’t ya? Too bad I’m not ready yet. Want to get your little cunt dripping before I decide which hole I want. Maybe your mouth.” He raises his hand to push two fingers into your mouth, and you eagerly suck on the digits. Tasting his salty sweat and the lingering bitterness of gun residue that seems to be embedded into his skin. He withdraws his fingers, bringing his hand down to cup your dripping cunt, “or should I fuck your tight little pussy?” He hums, and you whimper when his fingers brush your clit. He knows exactly what he’s doing to you. “Or does my little slut want me to fuck her ass?” He murmurs, circling the puckered hole, barely nudging the plug, but it’s enough to make you whine softly. “I think I want all three.” He decides, making you nod eagerly. “Yes, sir, fuck me however you want. Wherever you want.” You tell him breathlessly, and he chuckles, “so fucking desperate.”

You are a little desperate. Despite the demeaning, harsh way Joel Miller can fuck, he’s not abusive. He doesn’t beat you while he fucks you. He doesn’t fuck you without prepping your holes for his thick cock. You are treated better than some in the club because you’re Joel’s favorite and the owner is scared of him, even more - the other members are scared of him. There’s even a rumor he beat a man to death in the club for abusing the girl he fucked before you showed up, buy he never talks about that with you. Instead of replying, you moan softly when his thick fingers slip down to your clit. 

He groans when he feels how wet you are. This is his escape. The time he allows himself to access that deeper part of him he keeps controlled until the occasion calls for him to be in control. He has to behave in the QZ, not wanting to get kicked out, but that time is coming to an end. Him and Tess are working on getting enough credits together to leave the QZ so he can find Tommy. “Dripping for me. My little whore.” He coos, pushing two thick digits inside of you.

Your back arches and your moan again, the stretch of his finger a burn that you enjoy a lot more than you probably should. There’s something about Joel that you can’t resist, the gruff roughness is tempered by a sadness in his eyes that you want to soothe with kisses. Although you know that those same eyes go flat, hard and it excites you when you see the change. “Your whore.” You echo. “Sir.”

“That’s right.” His twang comes in, and your whimper makes his cock twitch, already hard from just the thought of you as he entered the club. “Such a good little slut, taking all that I give you. You want more thought don’t you? You’re a greedy girl. You want me to add another finger?” He asks as he does that, stretching you out for his cock.

“Yes sir, fuck.” You gasp out, eyes closing as your hole is stuffed full for the moment. You know that he will fill you even more. The thick cock that you had struggled to take when he first came to you is girthy and long, a combination that leaves you trying to walk on shaky legs when he’s done. “Want everything you want to give me.”

Joel groans, loving the way you completely submit to him. This is the only time he’s completely in control. He can control every aspect of this part of his life. He works his fingers deeper inside of you with a groan, “always so wet for me. What gets you wet like this sweetheart? Thinkin’ of Daddy’s cock?” He coos, slapping your ass with his free hand.

You shiver, not really caring for the Daddy term, but he obviously likes it. Fulfilling some fantasy of his as you whine at the sting of his hand. “Yes, sir.” You gasp out. “Always want Daddy’s cock.” You admit shamelessly. In here, you are exactly what Joel wants and needs and he rewards you so beautifully for it.

He likes that you indulge him every time he comes into this room. You have a safe word but you’ve never used it. He groans as your walls pulse around his fingers and he withdraws his digits, admiring the way your hole flutters at the sudden absence. “That’s it, baby. You’re gonna take what I give you and you’re gonna love it.” He promises, working on his belt to pull his cock out. “Want you to take my cock down your throat like only you do.” He groans, squeezing his cock as he pulls it out.

The good thing about Joel is that he regularly showers. He groans as he shuffles forward, your mouth obediently opening and your tongue out to wait for his cock. His hand pumps himself and then he guides the head to smear around your lips, teasing you with the length before he pushes into your mouth with a sharp snap of his hips, gagging you.

“That’s it, baby. Don’t choke. You gotta take it all. Be a good girl.” He demands, wrapping his fingers around the back of your neck to keep you still so he can rock his cock deep down your throat. You’re sputtering around him and he loves the way your split dribbles onto the sheets. “Being such a good little slut for daddy.” He coos, closing his eyes as he loses himself in this, in you.

His thrusts are harsh and you know you will have to drink some of the tea that is made from the dandelions and tree bark to soothe it. Your jaw will ache when he’s done and you will be so cock drunk you’ll beg for more. Moaning around him, your cunt clenches and you can feel yourself starting to drip.

“Shit. Always so fucking good. Taking it all like a goddamn champ. I don’t wanna cum down your throat tonight, my little cockslut.” He grabs the back of your neck to drag you off of his cock. “Wanna fuck your pussy. Then I’m gonna cum inside of your ass after I stretch it out with my fingers first.” He explains, slapping your cheek.

You love how he is going to wreck you. He’s so greedy when he comes to you, taking everything he can from you and still wanting more. “Yes sir.” You gasp, trying to catch your breath. “However you want to cum.” If he cums in your ass, you won’t make him wear the condom. He can fill you up.

Joel manhandles you to turn you around so he can grab your hips, kneeling on the bed to position himself behind you. He grips his cock and positions himself at your entrance, swiftly pushing inside of you with a low groan that echoes in the room.

“Shit, Joel.” You moan, loving how your entire body jolts forward from the force of his thrust. Your fingers dig into the sheets underneath you, grounding you in the moment.

He keeps your hips tilted up as you fall forward, trying to grind his cock impossibly deeper inside of you. It’s incredible how tight you are around him and it makes him clench his jaw so he doesn’t blow his load too damn too. “Fuck baby. Feel so fucking - like a goddamn vice. How you keep this pussy so tight when I’m fucking you more often?”

You choke out a moan. “Cumming.” You gasp, even though the truth is that you are tight because he’s so fucking thick. “You make me cum all the time.”

He chuckles, “wanna make sure you keep letting me use those tight little holes.” He says, smacking your ass with his palm. “Love being inside this pussy. Makes me forget about all - shit - all about how fucked the world is now.” He admits, pushing his hips against your ass and you cry out, making him smirk. “Take it all. Whatever I give you. Want you to take every fucking inch of this big dick. Tell me it’s big.”

“Fuck, it’s so big, sir.” Your eyes roll back when that big dick hits deep, just to show you what he can do. “Best cock I’ve ever had in my tight little pussy.” You confess. “Best cock ever.”

Your confession has him twitching inside of you, and he groans your name when he thrusts a little harder, making you gasp and fall forward until your cheek rests on the sheets. “That’s right. Best cock ever. Wanna - fuck - wanna live in this cunt. Never leave. Fill you up over and over again and watch it drip out. You’re - fuck- you’re so fucking tight.” He hisses, sliding his hand down to cup your breast and he slaps it.

You squeal, wanting to promise him the moon. Wanting to promise that he can have whatever he wants if he just fucks you. You know that Joel is different here than outside this room. Out there he wouldn’t even acknowledge you, probably. You’ve never had the guts to approach him when you’ve seen him walk through the streets of the zone. “Fuck, you can.” You promise him. “I’ll stay bent over so you can just fuck me whenever you want.”

“That’s right. You’re my little whore. Gonna keep you full of my cum. Just fuck you whenever I want. Make you scream my name so often, you lose your fuckin’ voice. Gonna make you mine. Claim this cunt as my own.” He growls, sliding his hand up to twist the plug you have nestled in your ass.

The low moan is wanton, needy. Loving the idea and wishing that could happen. You’re already his little whore, but you would be willing to let him fuck you hoarse. He sometimes does this anyway. “Fuck, I wish you would.”

“Gonna do it.” He promises in the moment, pushing deep to press against your cervix and he works the plug out of you. “I know you do. You want this dick all the fuckin’ time. Like the slut you are.” He spits on his fingers, pushing one then two into your ass, working your tight hole open for his cock. “Gonna make sure you only feel pleasure…unless you want some pain.”

“Spank me.” You gasp out. Knowing that Joel likes to spank you. Likes to feel the welts on your skin and know it’s from pleasure and not brutal pain. You’ve seen the busted knuckles, the broken hands. Those days are the ones he refuses to be rough. Almost scared of losing control but you know he never would hurt you. Not like that. He likes your screams to be hoarse with pleasure. “Please spank me, daddy.”

He can’t fucking deny you when you beg like that. He hisses, bringing his other hand down on your ass with a dark chuckle, his other hand scissoring his fingers inside of your ass to work you open. “Want you to cum like this.” He demands, “want you to cum for daddy like a good girl.”

It’s not hard to do when his cock pushes deep and punches against those spots that make your toes curl. Combined with the sweet sting of his hand and his fingers working your other hole opened, you are moaning as you work yourself closer. “I will, fuck, I will cum for you.” You promise, whining when he pushes a third finger in your ass. “Oh god, Joel.”

“That’s it, baby. That’s it. Don’t you fucking disappoint, Daddy. You’d better cum right this fucking second.” He demands and your cry of pleasure echoes off of the walls as you clamp down on his cock. “That’s it, sweetheart. Fuck, such a good little whore for me. You’ll do whatever I say, won’t you?” He growls, pulling out of your quivering cunt.

“Yes.” You gasp out, hating the loss of his cock and you whimper when he pulls his fingers out of your hole. “Whatever you want. Anything you want. Your whore. Use me, daddy. Please use me.” You babble, desperate to feel him inside you again.

He spreads your cheeks, leaning in to spit on your puckered hole then he spits in his palm and grips his cock, mixing his saliva with your cum as he notches himself at your ass to push inside of you. “Take it all.” He demands as he pushes into you.

Your back bows under the pressure from the pinch of pain. The lack of lube is a common issue but his spit helps. Thank god he had fingered you. “Joel!” You cry out, dropping down to your elbows and pushing back. Despite the pain, maybe because of it, you want more. You want to see him completely unhinged as you watch his reflection in the mirror.

He growls as you take all of him like the good slut you are. He clenches his jaw and smacks your ass, “you’re a good little whore. So cock hungry, aren’t you?” He mocks you, leaning in to kiss along your shoulder. He’s not allowed to bite you considering the situation outside the QZ.

"Yessss." You whine softly, gasping when his teeth scrape your skin. You would love for him to bite you, loved the idea of him marking you for a few days until the impression of his teeth faded, but he can't. "Hungry for your cock, only your cock, daddy." You feel him twitch inside you and moan at how it makes your walls of your cunt clench. "Your whore to use."

He growls, "yes. Yes. My whore. My little tight cunt." He hisses when you clench around him and he rocks into you, eyes rolling into the back of his head at how tight your muscles are gripping him.

You hiss when his hips start to snap forward a little harder, his cock drilling into you more aggressively. Every thrust a harsh punch and a low groan from the man behind you. Rocking you forward and you have to push back so he doesn’t push you into the creaking headboard. “T-tight little ass.” You moan out, wishing you could rub your clit. “Finger me.” You beg, “please, fuck I need something inside me.” 

Joel hisses, “such a greedy little whore. Want Daddy’s fingers?” He asks and you nod your head pathetically, a whine escaping your lips. “Fucking needy.” He snorts and slides his hand down until he’s pushing two thick digits inside of you, feeling his cock push against the thin wall between your two holes. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. Daddy’s got you.” He promises and starts to move his hips again.

You groan quietly, loving how full you feel and if it were anyone else other than Joel, you would suggest another person. Joel is possessive while he’s inside you, he would never let another man touch what he considers his. You’re his, and he will do what he wants, even his fingers is an indulgence of your needs. “So good, baby, you take such good care of me.”

He groans, leaning forward to kiss along your neck, “only I can take care of you like this. Only me.” He says despite knowing you have other customers but he likes to imagine you sit and wait for him to show up and treat you like his precious little whore. “Tell me that only I take such good care of you.” He demands, scraping his teeth along your neck, pushing his limit.

You whimper, clenching down around his fingers and cock. “Only you, daddy.” You whine breathlessly. “Only you can take care of me like I need. Like I want. I’m your whore.” You promise, shivering at the scrape of his teeth and wanting more. “Joel…”

He won’t risk you by biting you, not knowing what shit he’s exposed to outside that he could bring back, even if it isn’t the fungus. He curls his fingers and rocks a little faster, “need you to cum for me, baby doll. Need you to soak my fingers then I’ll fill that tight little ass with my cum. Deal?” He asks, panting as his cock twitches inside of you.

“Deal, baby, fuck.” You pant out. Feeling his thrusts start to speed up, pounding himself in and out of your ass as his fingers curl into your cunt. “Joel, fuck baby, harder.” He loves when you want more, but you really do want him to go wild tonight.

How can he deny you when you beg him so sweetly? Everything goes blank in his mind except you. The outbreak. Survival. The things he’s done to stay alive. Even Sarah and her death seem to fade into the background as he pounds into your body, losing himself in the control and the pleasure. “Cum for me.” He grunts, barely hanging on as he twists his wrist to press his thumb to your clit.

Your nerves are alight with pleasure, the pressure built up inside you and curling in your stomach. The added sensation of your clit throws you over the edge and you start to come apart with a loud scream. Unable to contain it as your entire body responds to Joel’s manipulation.

He shudders behind you as you clamp down on his cock and he loves how you soak his fingers. “That’s it baby. That’s - that’s fucking it.” He growls and withdraws his fingers, slick digits gripping your hip as he grunts, thrusting his cock deep inside of you, lifting up onto his aching knees a little higher. “Shit. I’m gonna - gonna fill you up. Beg for it. Beg me for my cum.” He demands breathlessly.

Your eyes cross every time he fucks back into you. Practically lifting you up as he works himself impossibly deep. He’s not wearing a condom so when he cums, you will be dripping his seed. “Fill me up.” You gasp out desperately. “Please, I need- I need you to fill me up. I want to feel it.”

Joel groans, rocking into you again and again until finally, he stills. His hips digging into your ass, his belly that has developed in middle age rests against your skin as he pushes his cock deep. Twitching inside of you, he fills you with rope after rope of sticky cum, a low groan of your name escaping his lips as his fingers dig into your flesh.

This is the only way that Joel will cum inside you. This or your mouth and you love the hot feeling of his seed. Technically you should insist that he use it every time, but you know he’s clean and besides you, Tess is the only person he sleeps with. All your others always use condoms, but you have let Joel cum in your ass since the very beginning.

“Fuck baby.” He murmurs, leaning in to kiss along your spine. He nudges your skin and groans as he slowly pulls out of you to watch his cum well up and drip out of your puckered hole. “That’s it, baby. Shit.” He says as he pushes his finger into you to push it back in, knowing you’ll have to deal with it later but he loves seeing it. Reminds him of younger days when he wasn’t worried about the lack of birth control and the death sentence that is pregnancy.

You close your eyes and smile, panting against the cool sheets. You are worn out and feeling the familiar ache that comes with having Joel in your room. “Was it good, daddy?” You coo softly, wanting to make sure that he doesn’t have something else in mind for you. After sessions with him, all you want to do is sleep.

He gently smacks your ass, “fucking perfect as always, sweetheart. Always take me so well. It’s why I always come back to you. Never judgin’ me for what I want.” He admits, shuffling off of the bed to tuck his cock away and grab the credits from his pocket to give you a little extra. He pays at the desk on the way out but he always likes to give you some extra to make sure you have enough.

“Why would I judge you since I want it too?” You ask, straightening up and reaching for the thin dressing gown that didn’t conceal much. You don’t protest the credits, knowing he will insist just like he does every time, but you smile. “When are you planning on leaving?” You ask softly. “I know it’s getting close.”

Joel sighs, rubbing his cheek, “we are close. I- I just need a few more credits and we gotta get the battery which is proving to be a fucking pain. We will get it soon. Then we will be leaving.” He says with a heavy sigh, knowing it won’t be easy to head out there to find Tommy.

You frown, knowing the extra credits Joel gives you are taking away from his goal. Moving over to the decorative box on your dresser. You open it up and remove the false bottom, revealing the stack of credits that you’ve amassed. Pulling out the notes, you turn back to Joel and hold them out. “Take these.” You insist, shoving them into his hand. “I know it’s driving you crazy to not know.”

Joel’s eyes widen and he shakes his head, trying to shove the notes back towards you. “I can’t take your money, baby. You’ve earned it. With every inch of your body. I can’t - I will figure shit out. I will. Keep it.” He urges, needing you to be cared for even if he isn’t the man who will ensure your safety and wellbeing.

“No, your brother is out there.” Even though Joel is normally focused on pleasure when he’s with you, things have slipped out over time. Worries spilling out and you know that he is going to continue to worry about him until he knows what’s become of Tommy Miller. “Don’t argue, you need to go find him.” You shake your head and send him a small smile. “I just- be careful, will you?” You ask. “And maybe come see me when you get back?” You know that when he leaves the Boston QZ, the chances are that you will never see him again, so it’s a hopeless request.

Joel nods, stepping closer to you, and he cups your cheek. You’ve been his solace in a world that would’ve crumbled him in its palm after Tommy left. He leans in softly to kiss you. A rare event but he likes to give you a little glimpse of who he used to be. To prove that he’s still there, inside him. Just as his lips touch yours, there’s an explosion and Joel is pulling his mouth away, yelling at you to get down just as he throws you down and covers your body with his.

The world around you explodes. Screaming out as Joel throws you to the ground, smoke, dust and debris rains down over the two of you as your ears start to ring. A bomb, you’ve seen enough of them to logically know that’s what’s happened but you can’t think, can’t move. Feeling like the world has slowed down to a crawl and the ringing inside your head deafens you.

Joel winces, his ears ringing, and he lifts his head to look around, body tense with adrenaline as his instincts kick into action. He checks for any nearby danger and helps you to your feet, lifting you up onto his shoulder when you don’t respond to him, appearing to be in a daze. Joel’s hearing clears a little and you blink as he carries you out of your room. Joel hears shouting and his heart is pounding as the smoke makes it hard to see and he tries to keep you safe while also preparing to fight. Fucking Fireflies is his guess.

You’re being carried. You slowly start to realize that as you come to. All of a sudden your hearing comes back and it no longer sounds like you’re underwater. Alarms blaring and there’s the sound of gunfire that makes you jump. “Joel!” You scream, trying to look over his head to see where he is taking you.

Joel doesn’t respond. Just carries you up the emergency exit stairs that the staff and those who are in the know use when they come and go. The street is chaos, FEDRA firing back at the Fireflies and Joel sets you down. “We need to move. Can you walk?” He asks, wishing he had his jacket to drape around you and you are barefoot but he needs to keep his hand free in case he needs to fight.

Pulling your robe closed around you, you nod. Turning back your eyes widen when you see that half the building is gone. Rubble piled up and you can hear the screams from inside. Joel calls your name and you look back at him. “We need to go.” He grabs your hand and drags you behind him, ducking down when some shots are fired too close for comfort with the ensuing battle.

“We need to leave. Now.” He demands and drags you down the street into an alley he knows. The streets are filthy out this way but he doesn’t give a fuck about your feet, he’s more concerned with saving your life. His heart pounds in his chest as he escorts you through the back alleys he knows like the back of his hand until he arrives at his apartment building.

Your body is shivering, a side effect of nearly being killed and your adrenaline is making your heart race. “Joel…” you cling to his hand, feet cut and bleeding and you know you are probably bruised. “Where- where are you taking me?”

Joel doesn't respond as he pulls you along up the stairs until he reaches his place. Grabbing the key, he unlocks the apartment and pushes inside, dragging you in behind him. He locks the door once you're in and turns to you, his dark eyes immediately scanning your face and making his gaze trail along your body in search of injuries. "You hurt?" He asks with a bite.

“I- I don’t think-“ you shake your head and frown as you do an internal check. “Just my feet.” You tell him, looking down at the dirty and bleeding appendages. Joel reaches out and cups your face gently, eyes staring into yours and you know he’s checking to make sure you don’t have a concussion. “What- it was a bomb, right?”

Joel nods, "yeah. Fuckin' Fireflies. Bombin' shit like it's gonna make a goddamn difference." He snorts and shifts to kneel, patting down your legs until he reaches your feet. "Sit." He orders, pulling out the chair behind you. He has a first aid kit - as basic as it is - that Tess uses on him when he gets into fights with assholes who like to try and test him. He stands up and grabs the kit plus the bottle of whiskey he got from Bill when he was last there. He kneels back down in front of you when you're seated and he grabs the bottle of whiskey, "drink this. Will help the shock."

Taking the bottle you pull the cork and take a sniff. “Shit, this is real.” You huff in amazement, taking a swig and nearly moaning over the taste. “Doesn’t burn nearly as bad as that bathtub bullshit.” You hum, enjoying the warmth as it spreads through your body.

He chuckles, opening the kit to grab the alcohol wipes Bill had given him one day when he heard Joel and Tess were using booze to clean their wounds. You hiss at the sting and he winces, “sorry, sweetheart. Gotta clean it up.” He says and carefully dabs the skin.

You watch him carefully, amazed at how gentle he is with you. He’s not a cruel man, but he’s never exactly nurturing. To see him care for you so gently is amazing. “You’re good at this.” You murmur. “Clean up a lot of wounds?”

Joel snorts, “more than you know. My own…Tess’s…Tommy’s, well, I used to - you know.” He clears his throat and grabs the bandages, working on wrapping your feet so they are clean. “You in pain?” He asks, looking up at you for a second.

“Yeah.” You admit with a careless shrug. “My club was bombed. Of course I hurt.” You snort. “Although…..you probably hurt more.”

Joel shakes his head, “I always hurt. Gettin’ too fuckin’ old.” He admits, his eyes flickering up to you and God, you’re so gorgeous even after barely escaping your club being bombed. “Have some more whiskey.” He orders, already thinking about how he can get you to Bill and Frank’s, get you somewhere secure and safe.

You take another drink and close your eyes. Starting to freak out. The club was your home, that room was where you lived. Now everything you own is gone and you have nothing and nowhere to go. You take another gulp of the alcohol and start to tremble slightly. Trying to assure yourself that you will be okay.

“Hey. Hey. Eyes on me.” Joel says, noticing your hands starting to shake. You look at him and he reaches up to cup your cheek, “it’ll be okay. I got somewhere you can go. You trust me?”

“I can’t stay here.” You know that he’s with Tess, or as with her as Joel can be. Everyone in the club wonders why she hasn’t come and kicked your ass, considering she was just as feared as he was. Or maybe she was feared because of him. Either way, they were a thing and you weren’t a part of that. “I have to- I have to go.”

Joel shakes his head, reaching for your hand to stop you from standing up. "You have nowhere to go. You have no clothes. No shoes. FEDRA will find you and lock you up for soliciting or sign you up for the program to get you into their grip. You can't go. Let me - let me take care of you." He pleads, needing to make sure you're okay.

“Tess-“ you gesture around the apartment; the bed that he obviously shares with her. “I can’t stay here. You know that. It’s not right.”

Joel sighs, "Tess and I- it's complicated. She - she never got over losing her kid and her husband and I never got over losing my - look, we know the darkest parts of each other and I - she has seen me at my worst but I don't...her and I - it's convenient." He explains, trying to tell you that he isn't in love with her. He cares for her but he doesn't feel the same way she does. Not sure he ever could, honestly.

You frown slightly, knowing that there is more than just convenience between them. You look around the small space, convinced this is a bad idea, but you don’t really have anywhere to go. All your credits are gone. Joel might have even dropped the ones you had been trying to give him. “I can’t just wear the robe.” You murmur quietly. “Not here. This is her house and it would be disrespectful.” You don’t know if Tess knows, but you feel like she does. Still, you don’t want to flaunt the fact you fuck Joel.

​​Joel shifts to stand up, groaning as his knees ache, his body still hurting from the intensity of the blast, but he moves to put the first aid kit away and find you some clothes. He grabs one of his shirts and some briefs to hand them to you. “I’ll go to my neighbor. She’s around the same size as you. She’ll give me an outfit. Stay here and I’ll be right back.”

​​“Okay.” You nod, taking his clothes but deciding that you won’t put them on. Who knows when Tess will come back? The last thing you want is to have her come in with you wearing Joel’s clothes. Your entire body aches and you have to use the bathroom, Joel’s cum still crusted between your cheeks and leaking out of your body.

“Take a shower if you want. There’s enough water left. Not sure if it’s warm.” Joel says as he exits the door and makes his way down the hall to the young woman who lives with her boyfriend that he’s been working with. She looks to be about your size. They know him enough to know he wouldn’t be asking if he didn’t have to. The boyfriend opens the door, face set with suspicion like Joel knows his own would be. He nods and asks about some clothes and a pair of shoes. “This girl…she ain’t got a thing. Lost it all in the blast that just happened.” Joel explains and the girlfriend comes to the door, telling Joel she will be right back. She places some clothes in his arms, and he thanks her, making his way back to his apartment to let you get dressed.

The water is cold, but it feels good on your aching muscles. You are sore, much more than you would admit to Joel. You normally are after he comes to you and the blast just exacerbated it. Washing quickly so you don’t use too much water and stepping out to find that you look a little shocked and wary. Wrapping a threadbare towel around your body and stepping out into the apartment. “Joel?”

He closes the door behind him just as you step out of the bathroom. "I think these'll fit you." He says, walking over to you to hand you the pile of clothes he had procured from his neighbor's girlfriend. He notices how goddamn pretty you look fresh out of the shower but shoves that thought aside as he tries to figure out what to do next.

“Thank you.” You know that Joel doesn’t have to do anything for you. So for him to be helping you is sweet. “Why the fuck were the fireflies bombing the club?” You demand, dropping the towel to get dressed. It’s not like Joel hasn’t seen every inch of your body. “A lot of them go.”

Joel snorts, leaning against the doorframe and averting his eyes to the floorboards where his shit is hidden beneath. Just because he’s fucked you doesn’t allow him to be able to ogle your body freely when you aren’t together. “A lot of FEDRA officers go to the club. They don’t tell anyone, they blend in, but I notice them. They ain’t there to rat on anyone but they are there to enjoy the pleasures the rest of us indulge in illegally underground.”

“I know.” You snort, wondering if he’s embarrassed by your nudity outside your room. “One of them likes to brag that he gets his hydros from you.” You admit.

Joel snorts, “of course he is. They can never keep their fucking mouths shut.” He scoffs and shakes his head. “Clothes fit?” He asks and you nod, adjusting the shirt. “I’ll give them some free shit when I get something good.” He says more to himself than to you.

You bite your lip and wish you didn’t feel like such a burden. You wonder how many of the others in the club got out, or if they were arrested. “I’ll find somewhere to go as soon as I can.” You tell him quietly. “I won't be long, I promise.”

Joel shakes his head. "You ain't staying in the QZ, baby. I got somewhere you can go. Me and Tess...we are gonna get the battery and then we are leaving here. I can take you to a friend. He and his husband are good friends, they have a secure compound. You'll be safe there." He promises, knowing he can't take you with him.

You want to protest, to tell Joel you don’t want to be pawned off on his friends, but you don’t argue with him. Just shrugging slightly and you wonder why he cares. “If you think that’s best.” You murmur.

Joel nods, “you hungry? I have some jerky and some cookies.” He says, walking into the kitchen to open the cupboard to grab the small amount of snacks he has. “You ain’t a vegetarian, are you?”

You snort. “Hard to be anything here.” You remind him. “Expensive enough to keep your belly full. But no, I’m not a vegetarian. You don’t have to wait on me though.” You don’t want to be a burden on him.

Joel shrugs, feeling that he’s not really taken care of you in the past when it’s come to him fucking you until you can barely move. He’s never considered after care when he’s paying you and you’re there to be his toy and now that he thinks about it, he feels guilty. He wants you to be comfortable.

You realize that he’s not a man of many words and you accept that. “If there’s something you need to do, don’t let me stop you.” You urge him. “Did you drop the credits?” You ask. “I don’t remember a lot after the blast besides you protecting me.” Biting your lip, you smile at him. “Thank you for that, by the way. You saved my life.”

He isn't usually a man to fluster but your praise makes his cheeks flush a little. "Uh, sure. We, uh, I shoved them in my pocket just before we got out of there." He says, pulling the notes out of his tatty jeans. Joel holds them out towards you, "these are yours."

You look at them and shake your head. “No, I gave them to you.” You remind him and when he opens his mouth to protest, you cut him off. “I won’t need them if I’m leaving the QZ.” You remind him. “Get whatever you need for the trip or extra food because you’re taking me.” You urge him.

He wants to argue with you but he doesn't. He takes the papers from you, knowing this will pay for the battery. "Don't worry, baby. I'll make sure you're safe." He promises, "Bill and Frank...well, you'll love Frank. Bill is a grumpy bastard."

“So he’s like you?” You ask teasingly, sending him a small smirk before you tilt your head curiously. “How did you meet them?” You ask, making Joel look a little embarrassed. “Tess was talking to Frank on the radio and we slipped out to see what they were like. If there was something there we could use. We set up trade with them. Smuggling shit.”

You nod and Joel shuffles awkwardly at the silence, reaching for the jerky and cookies along with the bottle of whiskey before he takes a seat on the sofa. “Yeah and if they get anything, Bill will send a signal through the radio.” Joel jerks his chin at the radio by the window. “80s ain’t good.” He says, “but I haven’t heard anything from them for the past week or so.”

“The 80s are bad.” You nod. “Besides making you feel old?” You tease and walk over to sit down beside him. “Hopefully you have that battery you’ve been talking about lined up?” You ask, taking the bottle and having a sip before handing it back to him. “What’s your plan?”

Joel sighs as he takes a sip from the bottle of whiskey. "Tess is meeting the asshole who has the battery to confirm we are getting it and we have the credits. Tess is out tonight and she - she should be coming over here." He frowns, glancing down at his broken watch and curses himself before he looks out of the window. "She can look after herself though."

“Oh, uh, I don’t want to make things difficult for you.” You tell Joel honestly. As much as you’ve enjoyed your time with Joel, you know that he’s not yours. You are just a toy to him, a sex toy to use and then forget exists until he needs to use you again. “If you’ve got someplace I can sleep, I’ll make sure I stay out of your way.”

Joel clicks his tongue, “like I said, me and Tess…it’s casual. We use each other. Besides, I wouldn’t want you anywhere else with this shit going down.” He says, his fingers twitching around the bottle. “You need to be safe.”

“It’s okay if it’s more than casual.” You tell him, reaching for the bottle again. “Really. I’m not judging.” You take another sip and look around. “I’m safe here? With you?” You ask, flirting with him slightly.

Joel snorts, “you’re safe from what’s outside. Safe from me? I don’t think anyone is. Not even me.” He confesses, glancing across the room to avoid your gaze. “You’re too good for the sins I’ve committed with these hands. Shouldn’t have even been allowed to touch you.”

“I like when you touch me.” You admit. “It’s not like I’ve never done horrible things. We all have.” You tell him. “It’s why we are still alive.” The things you’ve done are things others would look down on, before Outbreak, even now. You don’t care about that, you’re alive.

Joel doesn’t say anything. He just stares at the crooked floor boards. “I like touching you. A lot. It’s why I’ve always come back to you. I think about you, you know? When I don’t see you that day.” He admits, biting his lip as he struggles to get out anything emotional.

It’s almost physical, your reaction to his confession. Straightening up and feeling proud of yourself. Preening that Joel thinks about you when he’s not there. “I think about you too.” You admit. “Used to ask if you had sent word about coming.”

Joel's stomach twists and he turns to look at you. "I wanted to come more but shit keeps happening and the credits..." He trails off, frowning at the fact that he's spent quite a bit on having sex with you.

“I know.” You lean in, admiring the way his eyes are dark and seemingly boring into your soul. “But now, there’s no credits to exchange.” You point out. “When you want me again, take me.”

Joel knows that Tess could be back any second but he could never resist when you look at him like that. He swallows harshly and his dark eyes flick down to your lips, slowly leaning in to give you a chance to pull back but when you don't, he leans in to press his lips to yours.

This kiss is softer, sweeter than the kisses Joel had given you in the club. Raw and real, no agreement between you. Reaching up, you slide a hand around the back of his neck and move to straddle him. He’s still dusty and dirty from the blast, but you don’t care. You’re alive and so is he. That’s all that matters right now.

Joel sighs into the kiss, his hands trailing along your spine. He shouldn’t be soft. He shouldn’t allow emotions to seep into the hard shell he’s maintained with you but he needs to reassure himself that you’re alive and okay. He deepens the kiss, gripping your chin to tilt your head, and he slides his tongue into your mouth when you gasp.

Your eyes flutter closed and you melt against him. Rolling your hips slowly as the kiss deepens. Loving the closeness, the sweetness of the moment. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever experienced with him. It’s almost like you are a new couple, slowly feeling each other out.

Joel knows he can’t fuck you. You must be sore from earlier and from the blast, and he’s filthy, but your body moving on top of him and your tongue tangling with his has him groaning into your mouth, his cock hardening beneath you.

You moan into his mouth, enjoying the way his body responds to you and even though you know that he’s not going to fuck you, your cunt is dripping. Enjoying the celebration that you are alive and so is he. Slowly, your fingers slide up into his hair and you tangle your fingers into the longer locks. He groans again when you grind down onto him, making him thrust up into you. His hands sliding down to squeeze your ass in the tatty jeans and he loves the way you whimper in response.

“I love your hands.” You groan, breaking off the kiss to run your lips down his jaw. “Strong, hard.” You murmur. “Deadly. I know what they could do, but you only make me feel good.”

His hands squeeze your ass again, “love your fucking body. Fucking love your ass and your pussy.” He grunts, unused to giving compliments and especially receiving them. You rock down onto him and he hisses in response, “that’s it. Take what you want, sweetheart.”

You moan at his praise, surprisingly mild considering some of the dirty talk he has given you over the years. It makes this even more sensual and intimate. “You’re so fucking good Joel.” You pant breathlessly. “So good. Dream about you touching me.”

He chuckles, “the fuckin’ dreams I’ve had about you. Wake up hard. Didn’t used to do that. Gettin’ too fuckin’ old to be waking up with a hard on.” He snorts, leaning in to kiss along your neck, resisting the urge again to bite down.

You whimper, closing your eyes and your hips drag over his hard cock. “Bite me, baby.” You beg softly. “Always wanted you to. Always wanted to have you mark me.”

He groans, nudging his nose against your ear as you rock down onto his hard cock like he’s a goddamn teenager. “I can’t. The fungus.” He grunts and you shake your head, “don’t care. I don’t care. Please.” You whimper and how can he ever deny you when you beg so sweetly. He licks along the salty skin of your neck before he sinks his teeth into your flesh to mark you as his.

It’s better than you imagined. Just shy of breaking the skin, you know that he is marking you. Hard enough that the imprint of his teeth will last. “Fuck, Joel.” You whine, rocking your hips faster as your clit throbs. “More, baby, fuck.”

He groans into your skin, and wanting you to cum on top of him. He hasn’t done this since he was a fucking teenage boy and he feels like he’s gonna cum in his pants too fast like one with his teeth in your skin. His fingers dig into your ass and he rocks you a little faster, wanting you to cum.

“Joel.” You whine, closing your eyes and rolling your hips frantically, chasing the friction against your clit. “Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum.” You pant out, shivering when his teeth dig into your skin harder and he squeezes you. Encouraging you to cum and you let go. Body exploding in pleasure as you reach your peak with a cry.

Joel groans into your skin, withdrawing his teeth to lick along the mark he caused, his body almost vibrating with possessiveness as you shake above him, orgasm rocking through you. He pulls back to look at your blissed out face and he hisses, fingers digging into your ass to keep you rocking on top of him. He's so fucking close. He leans in to bury his face in your chest, breathing you in as he rocks once more and grunts, spilling into his pants like a teenager.

You feel his cock throbbing, groaning quietly when you realize that he’s cum in his pants. It makes you feel powerful, that this man can cum just from you grinding into him. “Fuck, fuck.” You whisper, fingers slowly untangling from his hair and stroking it gently back into place. “We’re alive.” You murmur softly, feeling tired and euphoric at the same time. “Thank you, baby.”

He closes his eyes, suddenly exhausted, and for the first time in a long time it's not because of booze. He caresses your back, inhaling deeply to calm his racing heart. "Shit. I need a shower." He chuckles softly, knowing that he's filthy and now he's got cum all over him.

“Shower.” You murmur softly and shift off of him onto the sofa again. “Maybe you will be able to sleep afterwards.”

Joel nods, grimacing as he stands up. He doesn't have a lot of clothes and cum stains are a bitch to deal with. He sighs and waddles to the bathroom, making you giggle. He turns his head to look at you, a slight glare at you until he can't hold back the smirk, "fuckin' laughing at me." He grumbles but grins when his back is turned as he shuffles into the bathroom.

You giggle again, looking around the apartment, interested in seeing what Joel lives like. You only ever deal with him in the club so this is a nice insight. Moving over to the bed, you yawn, feeling tired and you lay down when you hear the water start running.

Joel comes out with a ratty towel wrapped around his waist, seeing you asleep and curled up in his bed making his stomach twist. He hasn’t cared about someone this much in so long. He doesn’t really know how to act. He grabs a clean pair of threadbare briefs, deciding to redress in case he has to get up quickly and slides into bed behind you, wrapping his arms around you with a soft sigh as he closes his eyes.

You hear the door open, the darkness outside the windows telling you it’s still the middle of the night. A small groan, and a hand slides around Joel, bumping your back. “What the fuck?” The question is whispered but you don’t say anything and Joel just grunts and his arm squeezes around the hand. Your eyes flutter closed, too tired to really worry about it, although you know that Tess just came home.

When the light filters through the shitty blinds, you hear voices in the kitchen and blink through the exhaustion, your body aching as you shift to sit up. “I can’t believe you brought the fucking prostitute back to the apartment.” Tess hisses and Joel growls, “don’t fucking call her that. She’s a good girl. She was just trying to survive like all of us.”

Anxiety swirls in your stomach and you know that it was a mistake to let Joel convince you to stay. Wincing as you stand, you shuffle around the small half wall and bite your lip. “I’ll go.” You tell Joel, shooting Tess, a surprisingly young looking blond with a black eye and cuts all over her face, an apologetic look. “I don’t want to cause problems. Joel- he saved my life. From a bombing.”

Tess stares at you and you realize there’s more between her and Joel than he let on. “Stay.” Joel insists and you shake your head, “I can’t.” He sighs and narrows his eyes at Tess. “You have nowhere to go. Stay here. We - we gotta go get the battery and then we will be back. Remember what I told you? About Bill’s?” He asks, ignoring the way Tess shakes her head.

“Look, I don’t want to cause issues, and obviously being here is doing just that.” You tell Joel. “I- I’ll be okay.” Joel shakes his head and looks towards Tess. “She’s the only reason we have the credits for the battery.” He growls. You shrug. “Doesn’t matter. I’m obviously not welcomed here and this is her space.”

Joel stares at Tess who sighs and turns to look at you. “Don’t go. Stay here. Joel clearly has a plan and there’s no changing his mind. Stay and we will get the battery then we will leave the QZ. Do you have any experience fighting or killing the infected?” Tess asks, crossing her arms.

You snort and shake your head, irritated at her idea that you are helpless. “I’ve survived this far.” You remind her. “And I’ve only been in the QZ for five years. I was pulling my own weight in whatever group I was in.”

Tess nods, looking at Joel again. “Fine. She can come. Just don’t be getting yourself killed. I don’t want to deal with a pissed off Joel.” She says as she pushes past you to grab her stuff to go and get the damn battery.

You look at Joel but he just shakes his head. Obviously no one is going to explain why Tess looks like she’s been worked over. “Stay here.” He tells you, handing you a bag. “Go through the apartment, take whatever you need.”

You nod and Joel sighs as he grabs his boots, getting ready to go shake down for the battery. He’s ready to fucking kill that bastard for putting his hands on Tess. When he’s ready, he stands up and walks over to you, his eyes pleading slightly, almost worried that you’re going to leave. “Don’t go. Let me figure this out. Get you somewhere safe.” He urges and when you nod, he stalks out of the door, shoulders set as he prepares to beat that asshole up.

Alone in the apartment, you sigh, looking around and deciding that you will pack up what you can. If they get the battery, then there is a good chance you will be leaving the QZ tonight. Not that you will miss it, but you wish you had a weapon. For now, you need to find some good shoes, not the worn sneakers you had been given by the neighbor. Opening the closet, you spy a pair of boots and smirk slightly. They are obviously Tess’s but they look like they will fit.

“I can’t believe you gave her my fucking clothes to wear.” Tess gripes and Joel snorts, “you wanted to come back and find her naked in the bed?” Tess rolls her eyes, “all those fucking credits you’ve paid her because I didn’t want you to fuck my ass.” Joel huffs, “can we not do this right now?” He asks as they enter the building to find the battery.

“Fine.” She goes to push open the secret door but finds that it’s blocked. “What the hell?” She huffs, banging on it again. “Do you smell that?”

Joel wrinkles his nose and tenses, gun ready as he pushes the door open with all his might. “Jesus Christ.” He hisses at the stench. Dead bodies. Men litter the floor, gunshot wounds in their bodies, and Joel glances around at the massacre. “Shit.” He grunts, back tense as he listens out for anyone hiding.

The next burst of movement, Tess watches as Joel grabs a girl and throws her to the ground, his gun pointed at her. “Point them at me!” A shout from down the hall catches her attention and she sees Marlene, leader of the Fireflies in Boston. “Not at her.” Tess scoffs. “Well if it isn’t the Che Guevara of Boston.” She snorts. “Looking a little worse for wear there.”

Joel keeps his gun pointed at the kid, unsure of if she is armed, and Tess sighs, “Joel.” She murmurs and his lip twitches as he shifts his gun towards Marlene.

“Asshole.” The kid hisses and it makes Tess smirk as she listens to the deal that Marlene makes. It’s a good one, especially since it would mean better equipment than what they could get themselves. Joel is on the fence, but she knows that he will do what she wants. “Think of your girlfriend.” Tess tells him. “The FEDRA vehicle will be nicer than what we’ve got.

Ellie lunges for the knife and Joel swings his gun back towards her as he steps on the weapon. 

“Joel!” Marlene hisses, shaking her head. “Ellie, no.” She instructs the little girl. “You are all that matters. Joel will take you to my people, you go with him.”

Joel shakes his head, unable to believe the turn this has taken. “Get your shit, kid. We wait until it’s dark then we leave.” He orders, letting go of the girl and kicking her knife aside. He glares at Tess and stalks along the hall, heading back to the apartment.

When the key turns in the lock to the apartment, you stand up. Watching in amazement as a kid is shoved inside and the door pulled closed behind her. “Hey! Assholes!” The girl, probably around thirteen, doesn’t notice you as she bangs on the door for a few seconds, obviously upset at being shoved in here. You wonder what the hell is going on and if she is coming with you.

Joel hisses at Tess as she tells she will be back and he shakes his head, unlocking the door and Ellie tries to escape but he pushes her back in and locks the door behind him. “Sit down kid.” He orders, his eyes finding yours and he walks over to you. “She’s coming with us” is all he says.

“Oh.” Your eyes slide up and down his body, noticing that he had gotten soaked in the rain. “Everything go alright?” You ask anxiously, but Joel just shakes his head. “No.” He grunts. “But we will leave tonight.”

He dries off best he can without getting changed and he sits down on the sofa. Ellie sits by the window, looking between you and Joel. “So are you two like, a couple? Ohhh you’re a throuple.” She guesses, figuring Tess is with you and Joel. “Cool. Progressive.” She says with a nod.

“No, no, nothing like that.” You promise, feeling your cheeks heat up. “What’s your name?” You ask, and she smirks, aware that you are trying to change the subject. “Veronica.” She lies and Joel snorts. “Really? Marlene called you Ellie.” He challenges and she rolls her eyes. You grin at her attitude and introduce yourself.

Ellie huffs, “is he always this fucking grumpy?” She asks and you snort, nodding your head. “It’s kind of his thing.” Ellie looks at Joel and shrugs. Joel closes his eyes and Ellie frowns, “you tired already?” She asks and Joel crosses his arms, “gonna be a long wait until it’s dark, might as well get some sleep.”

Joel shifts to lay down on the sofa, so you move towards the end, but he frowns at you. Making you wonder what you’ve done wrong. He covers his eyes with his arm and Ellie scoffs. “You know your watch is broken?” Joel tenses, but doesn’t answer and you are curious about the watch, never remembering him taking it off before but you don’t know if it was broken. Too busy obeying him.

Joel doesn’t respond as he closes his eyes and listens to the rain hit the window and he listens to you and Ellie breathing, trying to act nonchalant but he’s tense and waiting for something to happen. “So…you guys been together a while?” Ellie asks you, ever curious.

“Oh, no, we aren’t together.” You don’t know how you would explain your relationship to this girl, but you know that it’s not being together. “He’s helping me.” You tell her with a small smile. “He’s a friend.”

Ellie nods, a little smirk on her face as she reaches up to draw a smiley face on the window in the condensation. “Sureeee.” She says softly, not believing you. Not with how Joel was around you compared to how he was around Tess. She’s observant and she noticed in seconds how he behaved around you.

You huff and bite your lip, looking over at Joel and wonder if he’s just ignoring the conversation or if he’s fallen asleep. He’s still frowning, so you think he’s awake but you can’t be sure. That unhappy look might just be the normal set to his face in such a harsh world. “Why are you sneaking out of the QZ?” You ask her, sure that she should be in the FEDRA school or at least with her parents.

Ellie doesn’t look at you as she stares out of the window, “I gotta go west. It’s - it’s complicated.” She says vaguely. Marlene had told her to never tell anyone about why she needed to get to Colorado. Joel is listening but doesn’t let on that he is. Marlene didn’t exactly tell him why she had to go west to the Fireflies. He doesn’t give a shit honestly. He just needs to find Tommy and make sure you’re somewhere safe.

“West is dangerous.” You tell her quietly. “Raiders and slavers.” You send the girl a pointed look. “If someone offers you help, for nothing, don’t trust them. At all. Kill them. They will do worse to you, if they get a chance.”

Ellie tries to not look like she’s scared. She puts on a brave front but she’s never left the QZ. She only dealt with the infected that fateful night in the mall. She is terrified but she’s tough, sitting up a little straighter and she tries to convincingly say to you “I can handle myself.”

You don’t disabuse her of the notion, but it’s obvious she’s not able to handle herself out there. Not without someone. “Stay close to Joel and listen to him.” You advise. “He’ll make sure you get where you’re going.”

Joel listens, withholding the scoff at Ellie’s bravado and his stomach twists at your trust in him. He hasn’t had anyone trust him like that since…since Sarah. He almost touches his broken watch, the memory of the moment his daughter died, but he maintains his act and listens to you and Ellie talk a little more until the sun starts to go down.

During the talk with Sarah, you had been rubbing Joel’s leg. Not that you even realized it, just absent mindedly caressing him as you chatted with the teenager. Until the doorknob turns and you snatch your hand away as Tess comes into the apartment. “It’s time.” She tells you, lifting a brow at your guilty expression.

Joel pretends to wake up, wincing as he sits up and that’s not put on. He’s getting achy when he sits in the same position for too long now. Fuck, he’s getting old. He grunts as he sits up, looking at you, then Ellie, then finally, Tess. “Get your shit. We leave in ten.” He says, “I’m gonna take a piss.” He announces and walks into the bathroom.

Tess looks at you and rolls her eyes. “Did you pack up enough of my shit?” She asks, narrowing her eyes when she sees the boots on your feet, but she doesn’t comment on those. “Yes, I did.” You snort, picking up the backpack you had filled with necessities and even the gun you had discovered under the floorboard.

Tess huffs as Joel comes out of the bathroom and he rubs his hands on his jeans. “Get your shit, kid. We are heading out.” He says, “don’t wanna be later. The guards will be changing shifts soon.” Joel explains, grabbing his jacket and his backpack that he keeps ready to go. He walks over to the floorboards and takes his weapons out, the credits he keeps hidden. He packs it up and Tess gets herself ready. Once the group is ready to go, Joel brings his finger to his lip. “Everyone keeps quiet. No one says a word.”

The jacket you had stolen from the closet is probably Tess’s but you wear it anyways. Keeping your head down, you keep close to Joel and the girl, Tess following behind you. Feeling nervous about the idea of going out into the wild again, you take a deep breath as they take you along alleys and pathways, down to a sewer entrance. “Really?” Ellie snorts and Joel rolls his eyes as he motions for you to go down. You grab the flashlight and lower yourself down, descending into the darkness.

Ellie hesitates but Joel pushes Ellie inside of the sewer and she reluctantly gets down, wrinkling her nose at the smell. “Gonna get a whole lot worse from here, kid.” Joel warns her and helps Tess in before he heads down and pulls the manhole cover back over.

You get down and start shining your flashlight up and down the sewer, grimacing to yourself. It’s been a long time since you’ve had to do something like this and you haven’t missed it. “Come on.” Joel grunts when he hops down from the ladder. “This way.”

He escorts the group through the tunnel, stopping when he hears a noise, his hand raised until he thinks it’s safe to keep walking. He guides the women to the end of the sewer, glancing out of the grates and he raises his finger to his lips again, telling everyone to be quiet as he takes a second to listen for anyone outside before he works on pushing the grate free so they can exit the sewer.

“Holy shit, I’m outside!” Ellie cries out and the three of you groan as Joel grabs her and yanks her down right as the spotlight rolls around. “Don’t get us caught!” You hiss, knowing the FEDRA agents won’t be happy to catch you outside the QZ. Too many people have been hung lately.

Joel mentally curses Marlene and he shushes the kid. "Keep your mouths shut." Joel hisses at everyone as he lifts his head and he steps forward to check for any guards. "This way." He growls, stepping quietly through the outer fences of the QZ, his gun aimed as his heart pounds in his chest, his ears listening for anyone nearby.

Your heart stops when you hear the FEDRA agent yell at all of you to freeze. Instantly complying because you know that it will be worse if you fight them. You hold up your hands and look at Joel and Tess.

"Get down on your knees." The FEDRA agent growls and Joel follows his order, his hands in the air, and he curses softly. When the test stings his neck, Joel hisses and the agent moves on to Tess. Joel tries to bargain, offering the agent some more pills but he isn't having it.

“Well what do we have here?” You know that voice, you hate that voice. This guy is in the club and he has a sadistic streak. He gets his rocks off on hurting others, sometimes you. Rarely though, since he knows Joel sees you. “Baby, you aren’t running away are you?” He coos, stroking your cheek and you jerk back from his touch. “We could have so much fun together.”

Joel clenches his jaw, so ready to kill this motherfucker for touching you. He hisses under his breath and the guard pulls your jacket down, leaning in towards your neck until he pulls back rapidly. “What the fuck? Someone bit you?” He gasps, “you’re fucking infected?” The guard asks, grabbing the back of your neck to drag you to your feet. Joel doesn’t even take a second to react. Spinning around, he grabs the asshole to drag him to the ground and starts to hit. His fists striking his head over and over. The blood splattering over Joel’s face as he loses himself to the haze of violence that he’s learned to lean into for his survival since the outbreak. His vision goes dark as he focuses on hitting the guard, his only goal to keep you and Ellie and Tess safe.

“Joel!” Tess snaps, your eyes wide and fixed on the sight in front of you. Joel beating the man to death, his body limp and lifeless and you know that Joel isn’t going to let you be hurt. He’s going to protect you at all costs. You walk over to him and when he pulls back for another hit, you touch his shoulder.

Joel flinches as you touch his shoulder, the urge to lash out almost overwhelming him until the haze clears and he looks up at you. His knuckles torn up as he looks down at the lifeless body beneath him, blood and brain matter scattered across the ground. He stands up on shaking legs, wiping his hands on the guys jacket. “We need to go. Now.” He grunts, his voice rough with the lust for violence. Ellie stares, almost fascinated and enjoying the sight until Tess taps her and she shrugs her backpack as she waits for Joel to lead.

You aren’t afraid of him, that’s not what this is. It’s almost a fascination. You’ve only ever seen Joel in control. Control of you, control of the scene, of what happens. The violence tempered, but now you wonder what it would be like for him to touch you when he’s like this. Would it be as sweet or would it sting?

Joel is shaking slightly as he flings his shotgun over his shoulder, continuing to guide the group away from the QZ. Another life he’s taken. Another life that darkens his soul. He doesn’t think about it too long, won’t allow himself the distraction as he keeps his eyes and ears open to hear of any other threats.

You follow behind him, watching closely as he tries to compose himself, knowing that he might need a few minutes to himself. Tess noticed, the girl has also been bit, but it wasn’t by Joel. The scanner had shown red and she’s infected, although she had promised that she wasn’t and that she could explain. You don’t even know if Joel registers that right now.

**** 

Joel’s eyes widen when Tess shows him the bite, rearing back, he shakes his head. The guilt floods through him, knowing he didn’t protect her, didn’t love her like she wanted him to. He’s wasted her life and she could’ve been with someone who could give all of them to her. “I- no.” He shakes his head, refusing to accept that she’s going to die. That she’s sacrificing herself for the rest of the group.

Tess smiles, the curve of her lips bittersweet and her eyes flicker towards you and then back to Joel. “If you cared about me at all, just a little. Just a fraction of what I felt for you, listen to me.” She begs him. “That girl is important. To everyone.” She understands now how important Ellie can be to humanity, to winning this horrible war with the infected. “Get her to Bill and Frank, they will know what to do with her.” She promises. “They can get her out west. Joel-“ she doesn’t reach for him, but she wants to. “Stop denying yourself what you want.” Swallowing harshly, she looks back at you. “Take care of her, and she’ll take care of you. You love her, even if you won’t admit it and she looks at you like you’ve hung the moon.” She snorts. “And she lets you put it in her ass. Don’t waste more time. You might not have much of it left, old man.”

Joel would usually chuckle at Tess’s frankness but right now, he’s devastated that he’s losing his closest friend, his partner. He nods, eyes hardening as the mission becomes clear again and he grabs Ellie who screams, “let me go, you fucker” as she resists leaving Tess. He grabs your arm too as he passes you, dragging both of you out of the capital building and into the forest where you can hide from the infected. The explosion shakes the ground and Joel pushes both women down, covering you and Ellie with his body.

Your eyes close and you start to silently cry, hating that Tess has sacrificed herself for the three of you. You know that she was infected, that she would have turned, but it’s still a loss. Joel cared about her, he had to have after spending so much time with her. Comfortable or not, she meant something to him. Joel pops up, gun in his hand to watch if any infected come out of the now burning building.

“Let’s go.” Joel orders when he feels the infected aren’t rushing towards you. He walks a little faster, pushing you and Ellie to move in front of him just so he can still cover you both. He’s quiet when you get into the forest, replaying Tess’s words over and over again. His eyes shifting over to you. Does he love you? Had Tess seen something before he even saw it himself. You turn to look at him, eyes bloodshot with shed tears and yet you muster a smile for him. His chest tightens and he swallows harshly, not returning the smile as his thoughts are chaos.

The walk is quiet, glum until you reach a stream. It’s a good place to rest for a moment. Joel needs it, he needs a moment to process. You herd Ellie off towards a tree and sit her down. “I’ll go get some water.” You offer, taking her canteen and Joel’s and moving down to the water's edge.

Joel shakes his head, tears stinging in his eyes as he crouches beside the edge of the river. He sighs and grabs a stone, admiring the smooth surface and he decides to find more, stacking them up in a small memorial to Tess, one stone for each year he knew her. He isn't a praying man but he says a silent eulogy to her, wishing her soul peace after fighting so long. He hopes she is reunited with her son and husband. He sighs, wiping his hands on his jeans as he makes his way back to you and Ellie.

It’s tense, and when Ellie speaks, Joel snaps at her. You know that she’s afraid that Joel is going to blame her, that if it were for her, that this wouldn’t have happened. She’s wrong. “We are all at risk out here.” You remind them both. “Best thing we can do is honor Tess’s wishes and get you where you need to go.” You don’t mention the other part, not able to put it into words. “Right?”

Joel nods, “yeah. We need to keep moving.” Joel says, striding ahead, hands clasped around his rifle. He’s mourning Tess but he has a duty to you and Ellie. He needs to get you somewhere safe and needs to get Ellie west. Then he can find Tommy. He doesn’t say another word as the sun climbs higher in the sky, the journey to Bill and Frank’s is carved in his mind so he can let his mind wander slightly to Tess’s words about you. Does he love you? It’s been so long since he even knew what love felt like. He’s built an impenetrable wall around his heart and he doesn’t know how to let anyone in.

Ellie starts to talk. Joel sometimes answers, but pretty often, he’s locked inside his own mind so you chatter with the younger girl. Telling her about your own experiences after outbreak and what happened, why you’re so watchful as the three of you walk along the road. You’re cutting close to an embankment and Joel urges you away, but Ellie is curious. Making you shove down the unease since you are sure you know what he’s trying to steer you away from.

Joel tells Ellie to stay away, wanting to protect her from the horror that lies in the embankment. He pushes her along and Ellie is curious as ever so he explains briefly what happened before she keeps asking him a million questions. His eyes drift over to you, wondering if you ever saw anything happen like that before you found the QZ.

You shiver slightly, looking at the bodies and you close your eyes. Not a particularly religious person, but you say a prayer for those poor people in the ditch. “Fuckers.” You mutter to yourself. “Hopefully all of them got infected.”

You walk for hours, the sun beating down on your face as you walk along the dirt road, once used by hundreds of cars a day. Joel glances up as the sun is starting to set and he doesn't like being out in the dark. He searches the forest for a safe spot, something with a little height and there's a river nearby. "We stop here." He says, stepping into the forest so you are covered by the bushes and the growth.

You follow him quietly, kneeling down and opening your bag. You had packed up most of the food in the apartment, determining they weren’t coming back to Boston and it would be needed. Opening a bag, you toss it to Ellie and then hand one to Joel. “How is your hand?” You ask quietly.

He flexes his fingers, glad he soaked the blood off in the river but it will take a while for the skin to heal. “It’s fine.” He grunts, taking a sip of the water he got from the river earlier. He watches Ellie practically inhale her food and he sees you hesitate. “Eat.” He orders, not wanting you to get ill or make a stupid mistake before you get to Bill’s.

“Yes sir.” You quietly murmur, smirking at the slight use of his preferred name in the club. You open up the bag and take out some of the jerky before taking a sip of your canteen. Joel shoots you a look, but he doesn’t say anything, making you bite your lip.

Joel is pleased to see you eating and he hates how his cock twitches when you call him ‘sir.’ Always sounds so fucking cute coming from your lips. He clears his throat and opens his pack, chewing on the jerky as he watches you from across the clearing. He will set up a fire if the coast remains clear. If he hears anything at all, he won’t risk it.

You finish up and pack away the rest of the food and wipe your hands on your jeans. “You have a sleeping bag? Or a blanket?” You ask Ellie.

Ellie shakes her head, “no. I don’t.” Joel sighs, grabbing his pack. “You can use mine. I ain’t gonna sleep. Gonna keep watch.” He says and hands Ellie the rolled up sleeping bag. “Here you go, kid.” He says and looks over at you, “you have one.” He tells you, reminding you of Tess’s sleeping bag you got from her when she handed you her pack.

“Yeah.” You frown slightly, feeling a little morbid about sleeping in a dead woman’s bag, but it’s not like you haven’t done that before. Everything everyone owns came from someone who died. It wasn’t like they are making a lot of new shit.

Ellie doesn’t take long to settle down in the sleeping bag, going to sleep like someone who has nothing to stay awake worrying about. No regrets. No losses. She’s innocent and her ease of sleep reminds Joel of how much he’s lost of himself over the years.

“I wouldn’t start a fire this close to the city.” You murmur softly, still awake and watching Joel as he scans the area. “Not unless you need it. Too many wander around here, looking for easy targets.”

Joel’s eyes meet yours again. Fuck, you’re so pretty. He nods, “I wasn’t planning on it. It’s not too cold. And it’s better to keep undercover. You okay? You cold?” He asks, knowing he’ll offer you his jacket if you need it.

“No. I’m warm enough.” You promise, letting the silence fall between the two of you for another minute. “I’m sorry about Tess, Joel.” You whisper. “So goddamn sorry.”

Joel stares at the ground, unsure of how to respond when he is the one who got Tess caught in that situation. He should’ve paid more attention. He should’ve done something to save her. He shakes his head, “it’s over now. She’s at peace.” He murmurs, hoping that when the day comes that he dies - either killed or bitten - that he will meet Sarah again.

You don’t speak again, settling down and closing your eyes. You wish Joel would crawl into the sleeping bag with you, but you know he won’t. Instead you try to get what little sleep you can, your gun under your leg, right in finger’s reach.

Joel sits there, listening to the noises of the woods. Nature has crept back into places that humans drove them from. Boston was once a bustling city and now it’s a sanctuary for the infected and the animals that have braved the derelict city now that the humans have almost disappeared. He doesn’t allow himself to dwell on Tess’s death. She sacrificed herself when she was going to die anyway. Joel knows he should be devastated but she was his comfort, his partner. She wasn’t the woman he was in love with. He imagines if it was you in Tess’s place and his heart clenches at the thought, almost in pain at the mere thought.

When you wake up, it’s not even sunrise yet, but it’s surprising you had slept through the night. It’s not something you’ve done in a long time. Sitting up, you immediately look for Joel and frown when you don’t see him. “Shit.” You hiss, reaching for the gun. “Joel?” You whisper softly.

He’d gone for a piss when you wake up and he hears you whisper his name. “I’m right here, baby.” He says softly, not wanting to wake Ellie before he has to. He kneels down beside you, “you doing okay?”

“Yeah.” You’re relieved that he’s there and you reach up to touch him. “Just wanted to- I didn’t see you.” You admit sheepishly. “Freaked me out for a minute.”

He nods, understanding how you feel and he wishes he could show you more emotion. He reaches for your hand, squeezing it, and he offers you a tiny smile. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Gonna get you somewhere safe.” He promises, “we ain’t too far from Bill’s. We will get there before it’s dark.”

You nod, wishing that you could ask him why he was so willing to leave you behind, but you’re chicken. Tess was wrong, he doesn’t care about you. Not like that. He feels beholden to you. “I trust you, Joel.” You admit softly. “Have from the very beginning.”

He doesn’t deserve your trust. Too many people have died that he was supposed to protect. He lets go of your hand and decides to wake Ellie up, wanting to get to Bill’s sooner rather than later. “Come on, kid. Time to get up.” He says a little louder, smirking slightly at her groan of protest. Typical teenager.

It doesn’t take long to get cleaned up, you go with Ellie to the stream to wash your face and rinse out your mouths. Rolling up the sleeping bags and shoving it back into your packs before starting back out onto the road. “Need to find some pads or tampons.” You tell Joel.

Joel nods, feeling a little awkward but glad that you’re here to help Ellie if she needs that shit. If you need it, well, he’s just relieved that you aren’t pregnant. That would be a complication beyond anything else right now. “Bill probably has some in his place. Keeps all kinds of shit.” He says, keeping his eyes on the road ahead and his ears listening for anything or anyone.

You and Ellie talk, the younger girl full of questions and it’s only a few hours later that you are walking to the edge of a gated community. “Bill and Frank have their own town?” You ask in amazement.

Joel doesn't respond with anything other than a nod as he enters the code to open the gate. Noticing immediately the decline of the house, the flowers aren't watered and his heart sinks.

You frown slightly, not seeing anyone. You had expected someone to greet you. Either with a welcoming smile, or a shotgun. Who knows how Joel’s friends act. You stay close to Ellie, trailing behind Joel as he makes his way to one house and opens the door.

His chest tightens at the lack of activity around the house. Normally Frank would already be coming up to Joel, asking him what he wants to eat and Bill would be grumbling about limited resources but there’s no one around and they don’t go out anywhere. Joel sets his pack down, making his way into the house to see the flies picking at the leftovers of a meal that looks rotten and he knows. His eyes sting with tears again but he inhales sharply and shoves down the emotions. He’s lost too many people. “They - they ain’t - they are gone.” Joel announces, “let’s shower. Get some food from their pantry.” He says, knowing he can look at Bill’s truck to see if it’s working.

“Okay.” You frown slightly, looking at the air of abandonment around the house and you know that they just didn’t leave. You bite your lips, feeling bad for Joel and you follow him upstairs. “I’m eating!” Ellie cries, hungry after the walk.

Joel nods, “you wanna shower?” He asks you, knowing you must want to after walking so far. You nod and he tells you where to go. “House is safe.” He promises, “the entire place is secure.” Joel sees the letter on the table but he can’t open it yet. He closes his eyes for a second before he sees you exit the room.

You wait, hesitant and respectful. Honestly waiting for someone to pop out, but you don’t get that. Doors are open and it’s obvious that the house was taken care of, despite the thick layer of dust that is now coating everything. “Come on.” You jump when you hear Joel, finding him watching you with sad eyes. “They have hot water.”

He guides you up the stairs to the bathroom. “I’m sorry.” It seems like that’s all you’ve been saying to him lately and you reach out to start unbuttoning his shirt. You assume that he wants to shower with you. Maybe fuck you, and you’re completely fine with that.

He wants you to shower with him and he is tired of pretending that he doesn’t want you. He was going to leave you here safe and sound with Bill and Frankie and now you’re gonna have to come with him and Ellie across the country. He’s terrified for something to happen to you out there.

You strip his shirt off and pull your own over your head. The jackets and packs left downstairs. Now it’s just the two of you. Reaching behind you, you unclip your bra and drag it down your arms. “A nice hot shower is exactly what you need.”

Joel nods, toeing off his boots and he kneels down to take yours off, tossing them down and helping you take off your socks. He slides his hands up your legs to unbutton your jeans and drag them down your legs along with your panties. "You're so fuckin' beautiful." He murmurs, his stomach twisting as he looks up at you.

“Joel…..” your heart pounds at the way he is looking at you, wishing that you had the courage to tell him how you feel. “How do you want me?” You ask breathlessly. “I’ll do whatever you want.”

"Shower, baby. Let's get under the hot water. Who knows when we will get another shower." He says, groaning as he stands up, unbuckling his jeans to push them down and his cock is half hard as his briefs hit the floor. "Get in." He orders, "make sure it's not too hot."

You groan when the hot water hits your skin. “It’s perfect.” You moan quietly, enjoying the heat. You always loved hot showers but they were expensive and you rarely indulged in them at the club. Turning around, you watch him step into the shower.

He steps in behind you and reaches out to pull you into his chest, his head resting on yours as he wraps his arms around you. The water covers your bodies and he closes his eyes, relishing in the feel of your skin against his, knowing you’re alive and safe with him. He doesn’t need to say a word, you understand him more than he knows and you wrap your arms around his waist. Joel doesn’t know how long he stands there until he pulls his head back and surges forward to press his lips to yours, wanting to feel more of you.

If it surprises you that he kisses you, you don’t show it. Just immediately opening up and moaning into his mouth as his tongue wipes against yours. You need this, you crave feeling close to him. Scared and unsure of what would happen next. Your hands slide up his back and tangle into his now wet hair.

He spins you around, pushing you up against the cool tile as the water hits his back and his hand slides up from your waist to squeeze your breast, loving the way you moan into his mouth and he cups your cheek with his free hand, keeping your lips on his while he pinches your nipple.

“Joel!” You gasp out, cunt clenching and you are already dripping. Your fingers tighten into his hair and you pull slightly, loving how he hisses into your mouth. You can feel him grow harder against your hip and you rock against it.

He groans and kisses along your jaw, his hand sliding lower until he’s cupping your cunt, loving how wet you are already and he’s barely touched you. He slides his fingers through your folds until he’s rubbing your clit, wanting to hear you moan his name again.

You whimper, closing your eyes and leaning back against the shower stall as he rubs your clit. “Fuck.” You pant out. “You’re so good at this, fuck you always know how to touch me.”

He watches you as he rubs your clit, loving the way your mouth falls open and he slides his hand back until he can push two fingers into you, wanting to make sure you’re ready for him. “Tell me you’re mine.” He murmurs, wanting to hear it from your lips.

“Oh god.” Your eyes roll back. “I’m yours baby, fuck, I’m yours. I’m always yours.” You promise breathlessly. “All yours.” Shuddering, your walls clench down around his fingers and you bite your lip.

He loves and hates hearing you say that. Knowing that he doesn’t deserve you. The things he’s done…he doesn’t deserve to touch you like this, to have you like this. He works his fingers a little faster, twisting his wrist so he can press his thumb to your clit. “That’s right, baby. Mine. Gonna - gonna keep you safe.” He promises, leaning in to bite along your jaw.

You whimper his name quietly. “Gonna keep you safe too.” You moan, knowing that you will do whatever necessary to watch his back and keep him with you. Obviously you can’t stay here by yourself, so you’re pretty sure he’s bringing you with him out west. “Give you comfort. A place to lose yourself.”

Joel nods, his cock hard against your hip as he pushes against you, seeking friction. “So good to me, baby. Can I fuck you?” He asks, wanting to make sure. He’s not in the club anymore. This isn’t an environment with already agreed consent. You need to tell him if you want him inside of you.

“Please.” You beg, needing the closeness, the familiarity of him. Needing the release of his control over your body. “You can always fuck me. Anytime, anyway you need, daddy.” You whisper the word and give him a moderately innocent look.

His groan echoes against the tiles as he looks into your eyes, seeing the devotion and it spurs him on. “Joel. Call me Joel, baby. We ain’t in the club. I’m gonna take real good care of you.” He promises, curling his fingers inside of you.

“Joel.” Your moan of his name echoes in the shower. Seemingly louder than normal even though you’ve screamed his name before. Your hips lurch forward when he pulls his fingers back, craving them inside you. Loving how he stretches you out.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Such a good girl for me. You gonna cum on my fingers like you’ve done before? Always so good for me.” He murmurs, pressing his thumb against your clit a little harder. “Cum for me, baby.” He demands quietly, yet his voice is like steel.

Your legs are shaking, The fact that you are pinned to the wall with his body is the only reason that you are still standing. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” You cry out, feeling the tension curling even tighter in your stomach until it snaps. “Jooooooeeeeellllll!” You wail his name, feeling the white hot pleasure race down your spin.

He loves the way you wail his name, thighs trapping his hand as he tries to work you through your orgasm, loving the way you shake and clench around his digits. “That’s it. That’s it. Jesus, you get so goddamn tight.” He hisses, pre-cum smearing on the skin of your hip.

You pant, not even able to respond because you are so breathless. No one has ever made you feel as good as Joel has. “Just for you, baby.” You manage after a few moments, moaning when he finally slips his fingers out of you. “Fuck me.” You beg. “Pussy, ass, whatever you want. I just need you inside me.”

He wants to make you cum around him. Pushing you back against the tiles, he grabs your leg and rests your foot on the edge of the bench that is kept in the shower, spreading your legs for him. He grips his cock and slides the head through your folds until he notches himself at your entrance and starts to slowly push into you with a low groan of your name.

It’s so slow it brings tears to your eyes. Feeling him slowly fill you up. Chasing away the emptiness inside you. It’s exquisite and all you can do is moan his name like it’s the only word you know.

He can’t say anything. Not wanting to be dominant over you, he only wants to touch you right now. Assure him that you’re alive and that you are here with him. He groans as he rocks into you.

Joel is so different this time. There’s no harsh demanding thrusts, the pace makes you ache like you never have before. Feeling every ridge of the length slowly pulling out and then rocking back into you. It’s enough that you wish you could stay locked in this moment forever.

His hands trail over your body, his hand squeezing your tit and he leans in to kiss you, his tongue sliding into your mouth with an intensity that should terrify him. His fingers pinch your nipple and he wants you to cum for him.

You let Joel set the mood. Following him where he wants to lead you and moaning every time he bottoms out inside your cunt. “Joel.” You pant softly. “Please- I- fuck, I love this.”

He cups your cheek, bringing your eyes to his. “I love you.” He murmurs, knowing that he should be struggling with saying those words to you but it’s true. You’ve seen the darkest parts of him and you still want him. He loses himself when he’s with you in the best way possible.

You sigh in relief, so scared of saying those words. “I love you too.” You promise. “I love you, only you. Always you since the first time I met you.”

He murmurs your name, loving how you confess your feelings. He already knew but to hear it has his chest tightening. “Fuck, I- I want you to cum for me.” He pleads gruffly, his hand sliding down to rub your clit as he pushes his cock deep inside of you.

“Joel, baby.” You whimper his name again. Your eyes flutter closed and your hips chase the friction against your clit. You’re so close, chest heaving and you feel yourself come apart with a loud cry of pleasure while stars burst behind your eyes.

He grunts as your walls flutter around his cock, gripping him, and he hisses as your nails dig into the back of his neck, making him twitch inside of you as he tries to work you through your orgasm. “That’s it baby. Fuck. I- gotta pull out.” He murmurs, knowing he can’t get you pregnant. It’s a deathwish. You hate that he has to pull out, wishing you had that condom. When he rocks his hips back, you wrap your fingers around his cock and start to pump. “Cum for me, baby.” You beg, leaning in and pressing your lips to his jaw. “Cum for me, my love.”

Joel hisses at your touch and your words, his cock twitching in your hand, and he grunts, turning his head to press his lips to yours as he starts to cum, spurting over your lower stomach and hand as he paints your skin with hot seed.

“That’s it, baby.” You murmur softly, stroking him through his orgasm until he’s just pulsing in your hand. “Fuck, you look so good like that. I love you.”

He pants against your lips, kissing you softly as you work him through it until he's starting to soften in your hands. "I fuckin' love you. Gonna keep you safe." He promises, knowing he'd risk his life to keep you safe. He rests his forehead against yours, closing his eyes as he cups your cheeks, silently praying he can keep his vow.

[dumbnotstupidfuck]

love the idea of husk having lived into an older age so his music taste is pretty firm in what he listened to when he was alive (though he says he hates disco that mf loves it), but angel’s taste has always been more adaptable and an important aspect to his fame is being at least semi up to date on music

this leads to angel playing hyperpop and club music CONSTANTLY to dance around doing mundane things and husk has to put up with the headache-inducing instrumentals if he wants to watch angel absentmindedly strutting and dancing around the hotel, which he absolutely does.

until one day, angel is at the bar, helping husk clean up when he starts humming the chorus to ‘it’s my party’ by lesley gore.

cue quiet mutual humming turning into quiet singing turning into belting I’ll cry if I want to! You would cry too if it happened to youuuuuu so loudly it wakes up the entire fuckin hotel, but husk and angel are too busy laughing, twirling and dipping each other to notice the death stare from everybody else

[theanxiousbookdevourer]

60+ hours into Disco Elysium, and I have discovered something most people figured out in two seconds flat:

So... how dumb would you think I am if I told you I didn't realize the speedfreaks were trying to start a speed lab?

(More below. Some Disco Elysium spoilers.)

I genuinely thought they just wanted to start a club. All this time, throughout all my playthroughs, I never once caught on.

This time, though, I pieced it together, spent the next few minutes feeling like an idiot, then decided to try to get them clean and start a club for real.

I already liked Egg Head, especially when his tone changes during his "puzzle," but this really solidified it for me.

Everybody hates each other. Everybody hates it here, it's all just drugs and we're slaves and I *can't...

Then, later on, if you manage to get Acele to open up to you, you learn the drug lab was her idea—but she's not proud of it. In fact, she was trying to hide it. But her façade was cracking like the ice beneath her feet.

She's glad you caught them. She doesn't want to become like her father.

So now you can bond with her. You can see the real her. You can tell her everything will be okay someday.

You can even hear her laugh.

So yeah. It was dumb of me not to notice what the speedfreaks were trying to do in the first place. But I'm glad I finally got to see Acele. Finally got to thaw her. Finally got to make her laugh and lead her out of the cold and watch as she ushered in the beginnings of spring.

[gabessquishytum]

A bit of a turn but this is where my mind's at. I love a bitchy, whiny Dream who puts himself and everyone down the moment he meets them. He doesn't like people or himself or much of anything really. It's all so fake and fictionalized. So to kinda get at that he picks up a job as a near nude waiter at a local strip club. He doesn't bother to attempt to understand why anyone would come here on their lunch break, but the hundreds he finds strapped into his g-string more than make up for it. Besides, the club is damp and dark with nothing but the disco lights illuminating these fuck ugly guys who make up their clientele. It pays for his lifestyle well enough and if he gets fired then he has his trust fund to fall back on. So he really doesn't give a shit about being nice. People seem to like that anyway.

Hob is one of those people. Bouncing for a strip club was one of the last jobs he thought he would ever take, but the money is good. He doesn't need to carry a weapon unlike the numerous other security jobs he's taken before, and the weird hours allow him to keep up with grad school. But he's so close to getting his doctorate that once he submits his dissertation, he's free to take a job teaching somewhere else. He's thinking somewhere warm and sunny.

That also means he's going to be giving his two weeks soon and he has eyes for one of he coworkers. The skinny brunette that bristles from even a fraction of attention. That's the one he wants. It's not like Hob doesn't know him, despite the security staff usually being busy with the guys attempting to grab the dancers, he's had to deal with a few people who got a little too handsy with their waitresses. So he's had to save Dream's ass more than he's had the opportunity to stare at it.

So he buys a bunch of flowers, dresses up in a nice suit and saves a decent bit of pay to come in on his off day. He manages to score Dream's section and he waits. When his crush finally comes around, Hob loses a bit of nerve and fesses up to Dream what he's doing, but sans the detail that it's for him. Dream laughs at him and calls him all sorts of names like simp. Though he finds it kinda adorable how sincere Hob is about confessing to his crush. He takes his break at the table and negs Hob for details relating to his crush. Apparently he's tall, pale, and angled in all the right points. Hob will not shut up about his petty blue eyes or his sharp wit. He conveniently doesn't tell Dream that he's a coworker, which makes Dream so mad! Hob is sitting here, in a strip club, instead of going out to confess his feelings. He shoves Hob out of the club and table before he even gets his drink and demands Hob to finally come clean about his feelings!

Later that night, when his shift is over and he's changing in the dressing room, he's still thinking about Hob. Maybe he's different then all the men who grab at his ass or make lewd comments when he brings out their food. He has been one of the few bouncers who actually do something when he and his coworkers complain. There's someone genuine about him that makes it hard for Dream to want to bully him.

He goes outside for a cigarette, and who should be there but Hob with his bouquet of ruby red poppies (dreams favorite) and a light for him.

- 🤜 Anon

This feels like such a good addition to the picture in my head I'm building of simp!Hob. Particularly if he's able to actually win Dream’s heart! Just imagine how annoyed Dream would be to find that he's got a stupid crush on this ridiculous man. He's muttering to himself in the mirror about how love is fake and the world is shit and nothing matters. And then he thinks about Hob’s eyes and catches himself smiling...

So, when he finds Hob waiting for him, he concedes. He'll allow one date. And Hob is the perfect gentleman, so he takes Dream for a nice meal - maybe they have to go somewhere that opens late, but it's still nice. Hob nudges Dream into ordering pancakes and a milkshake. They talk about Hob’s future teaching job and how kids suck but they can be ok actually.

It's a nice date, but Dream’s cynicism tells him that Hob probably just wants to fuck him. He's just cleverer and more patient than the guys who try to pull him at the club. He's willing to spend a little time before he tries to get Dream into bed. So Dream gets right back to negging Hob about how he's wasted his money because Dream doesn't intend to put out.

But Hob just laughs and says he's way too tired to be thinking about sex. He steals one of Dream’s cigarettes when they go outside, and walks him all the way home while cheerfully talking about how he can't wait to get away from London and shitty weather. Dream is perplexed, annoyed, cringing about how fucking chipper Hob is... but he's also kind of warm and soft inside. Especially when Hob kisses his cheek goodnight.

Dream is actually looking forward to seeing him again. Ugh. And he thinks that maybe he wouldn't mind if Hob touched him? He pictures Hob’s strong sturdy hands wrapping around his waist and his cheeks turn bright red just like poppies.

Well fuck. He's going to have to think hard of some bitchy things to say to Hob, because right now all he can think of is... that he wants Hob to simp over him! The horror!

[orwocolor]

let me show you how beautiful you are

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 12.9k

Warnings: Smut, Language, Body Image Issues (18+ ONLY)

Summary: You were really looking forward to tonight although you still couldn’t quite wrap your head around the fact that you and Eddie Munson were supposed to go to the prom. Together! But when you realise your dress no longer fits and you break down in tears, he’s there to comfort you in every way he can.

Author’s Note: The long-awaited hurt/comfort smut fic is finally here! I hope you’ll like it :)

the gif is mine

A ringing of a doorbell jars you from your thoughts and your eyes dart to the clock hanging above the fridge.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

You rush to the door and start talking even before the tips of your fingers make contact with the handle.

“Shit, Eddie I’m so sorry, just give me five minutes and I’m ready to g–” You swing open the door and cut yourself short, absolutely stunned by the man that’s standing in front of you.

When you asked Eddie to go to the senior prom with you, you weren’t entirely serious. Yes, the thought of you two dancing under a disco ball, spiking the punch with something stronger and making out on the bleachers had made your stomach flutter and your heart skip a beat on several occasions, but it was an image that seemed to take up residence in your fantasies rather than to become a reality. So, when he accepted your offer in an instant, you were genuinely surprised and didn’t quite believe it. Nevertheless, the shock you felt when he said ‘yes’ could hardly be matched by your current astonishment.

Standing in the doorway, frozen to the spot and without uttering a single word, you can’t help but stare. Your mouth slightly agape, your eyes roam his form as you take him all in, absolutely stunned by the transformation.

For tonight, Eddie has abandoned his favourite ripped jeans, the Hellfire Club t-shirt and other band tees, the leather jacket and the denim vest. Instead, the man standing at your doorstep is wearing a pair of black formal trousers, a clean white shirt with several buttons at the top undone, and a red suit jacket. The latter strikes you as slightly oversized and it crosses your mind that he must have probably borrowed it. To compensate for the incongruity, he’s rolled up the sleeves, revealing his beautiful tattoos in the process.

Although the attire itself is very formal, it is the details like these that still make him look so much like your most beloved Eddie. The mop of his curls is as unruly as always, he has an old pair of white sneakers on his feet and the usual rings adorn his fingers; he’s even added a metal skull pin to one of the lapels of his jacket to complement the look.

“Wow,” is the only thing you manage to finally stammer out and you snap your jaw shut, realising how dumbfounded you must look.

“Thanks,” he answers sheepishly and rubs the back of his neck, suddenly shifting uneasily under the pressure of your gaze.

Realising your indiscretion, you avert your eyes and cast them down as a flush of warmth creeps up your face, matching the pink blush that graces his cheeks. Once you’ve redirected your attention to your feet, Eddie clears his throat and gives you an amused look when he leans over to catch your gaze.      

“You know,” he starts and a smile tugs at your lips as his voice finds the distinctive strength again, resonating on the front porch of your home, “you look pretty amazing yourself, really! Have you looked at yourself in the mirror recently? Absolutely mind-blowing!” He brings his hands to his head and makes an explosion gesture with his fingers, shooting you a grin, “But! I’m not entirely sure Principal Higgins will let us in tonight, considering this,” he points to your bathrobe and slippers, “probably doesn’t quite fit the dress code.”  

“Oh, shit! Right! I’m so sorry, Eddie! I have no idea what happened, I completely lost track of time. But I’ll be ready in five, come in!”

Not waiting for him to catch up, you race up the stairs, skipping every other step, and Eddie crosses the threshold, carefully closing the door behind him. For a short while, he hangs at the entrance, unsure whether he should follow or stay, but you’ve left the bedroom door open and it seems like a good enough invitation. Who was he kidding; he would lie if he said he wasn’t curious to see what secrets your bedroom has been hiding this whole time. When he reaches the landing, he looks around first to make sure your parents are not home. Once he's satisfied to note that they’re nowhere in sight, he clasps his hands behind his back and glances through your bedroom door.

The view he’s met with puts a big smile on his face.

At first sight, the bedroom looks like any other senior high school student’s room. The striped wallpaper is barely visible from underneath a bunch of posters, there are piles of textbooks and papers on your desk and every surface is covered in various knick-knacks with several plushies scattered around the room. He carefully scans the surroundings, and his smile widens. He spots your favourite book on the bedside table, the paperback cover bruised and tattered from being read so many times. He knows that if he opened it on a random page, he would find comments in your handwriting scribbled in the margins. There are also headphones and several cassettes lying on your bedspread, and he itches to see what you’ve been listening to lately. His gaze drops to the floor and lands on your backpack from which several colourful sticky notes are poking out. When you first met in English class and you took a seat right next to him, he was making fun of you because of them. Truth be told, it wasn’t the best conversation starter but it helped to break the ice, so it wasn’t the worst either. And if he were honest, he soon found them rather adorable and asked you for some on several occasions.

He smiles and shakes his head at the memory but it’s when he squints his eyes and inches closer to your desk that his face starts practically beaming as he recognises the things pinned up to a corkboard. There’s a dark red paper rose that he won for you at a spring fair, movie tickets from your dates, and a flyer for a gig that Corroded Coffin played and he’s sure it’s for the very first concert that you attended.

His expression softens when he notices several photographs. There are a few with only him in them, one of him blowing a raspberry at you when he noticed you taking his photo, one of him playing his guitar in the living room of the Munson’s trailer, and one that takes him a moment to place. Based on the colourful lights, you must have taken it during one of the D&D sessions when he was so immersed in the role of the dungeon master that he didn’t notice you sneakily snapping it.

But there are more pictures. In those you’re there with him, both of you grinning from ear to ear, your cheeks pressed together. The photographs are blurry and have most likely very little artistic value and yet, they’re the most beautiful pictures that he has ever seen.

Eddie wants to tell you so and spins around, just for his eyes to land on you scrabbling in your wardrobe and forcing a mass of clothes to be pushed away so that you can grab a white garment bag from the very back, and he chuckles.

The sound startles you slightly and you speed up in your efforts.

“Five minutes max, I promise! I’m basically ready but I was worried I would spill something on the dress so I didn’t want to put it on right away, but then I got distracted by that assignment we’re handing in on Monday and then it was too late and–” you keep on rambling, your voice accompanied by hangers scraping against the closet rod, “–yeah so that’s how I ended up just in my bathrobe, sorry.” You finally free the prom dress from your wardrobe and turn around to catch Eddie propped up on your desk, his fingers dancing around the edge of the flat surface and an amused look painted over his face.

“No need to apologise, darling,” he grins and tilts his head.

“Although,” you start again, “come to think of it, wouldn’t an attire that’s against the convention be something for Eddie Munson to appreciate? You know, being a non-conformist and all?” You throw him a wink and dive back into the closet to fish for your shoes.

“Oh honey, I do appreciate that. Very much so,” he stresses out and wets his lips at the sight of you bending down into the closet in only your bathrobe. “But when things matter, the trick is to know where the line is and then hang at the very edge. It’s like playing with fire but not actually burning yourself, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” you say and give him an earnest smile, your heart skipping a beat at the notion that Eddie considers tonight important as well.

After a few moments of rummaging, you announce victoriously, “Got them!” and emerge from the closet. “Like I said, five minutes max!” you promise again as you throw the garment bag over your arm and clutch the shoes to your chest. When you pass Eddie on your way to the bathroom where you intend to change, you stroke his arm gently, no longer able to resist at least a brief moment of contact.

Grasping your wrist, Eddie stops you in your tracks and pulls you closer, his eyes raking all over you and settling on your mouth. He presses your body to his side and places a soft kiss on your lips. It seems like the necessity to hold and touch each other is rather contagious, but you’re certainly not complaining as the familiar taste of his lips enthrals your senses.

With a smile, he murmurs, “Hi, by the way,” into the air where your breaths mingle, and you huff out a laugh, rolling your eyes with amusement.

“Hello,” you greet him as well, your grin not faltering even when your mouths meet again. “Five minutes,” you whisper when you eventually break apart, and you scurry off to the bathroom.

A gentle smile is playing on your lips when you enter the bathroom and it remains there until you open the garment bag, shed your bathrobe, which leaves you clothed in only your bra and knickers, and step into the dark blue satin of your prom dress.

You start tugging the fabric up the length of your body and at that moment, the smile freezes on your face in a fearful grimace and a cold sweat breaks out on your skin.

No, no, no, no, come on, no, no, not now.

Your pulse quickens and you feel panic rising in your core, your chest heaving rapidly.

Please no, not today.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, willing your racing heart to slow down, and after a few moments, you find the courage to continue in your efforts, your jaw clenched and palms clammy as the dress starts precariously stretching in its seams.

Despite your trembling fingers, you manage to force the fabric past your hips and up to your waist, but the momentary relief that washes over you is short-lived. It is the point when you slide your arms into the balloon sleeves, pull the bodice up your torso and see how pointless everything was as there is no chance of you zippering up the dress, that extinguishes the very last glimmer of hope. Instead, you feel yourself spiralling down to the bottom of a hostile pit of darkness that poisons your heart.

As your shoulders slump under the weight of the realisation, the sleeves of the dress fall to your elbows and a ragged breath leaves your throat.

You catch a glimpse of your reflection in the mirror, and it triggers feelings that you thought were buried deep inside you. Tears start welling in your eyes as in the harsh light of the late afternoon sun that pours through soft sheer curtains you’re compelled to face the image in front of you. Every curve and every bump is on display, emphasised by the tight dress.  

No longer able to stand the sight, you avert your eyes, losing the last shreds of strength. You sink to your knees, the sea of dark blue satin pooling around your shaking body as you choke out a desperate, hitched sob.

Eddie has been carefully inspecting the cassette boxes that he spotted earlier on your bed when he hears the sound. His forehead wrinkles in confusion and his head turns in the direction of the noise, but no matter how much he pricks up his ears, the hallway offers only silence in return. Hesitantly, he shifts his focus back to the cassettes in his hands only for them to slip from his grasp onto the bed the moment he gets startled when the echo of the sound returns.  

“Shit,” he swears under his breath and a pang of worry starts to gnaw on his insides as he leaves your room and ventures down the hall towards the bathroom from which the sounds are coming.

He calls out your name and knocks on the door, but you’re too lost in your whirling thoughts that do nothing but torture.

The bathroom door opens a crack and Eddie sucks in an alarmed breath as his eyes find you on the floor.

“Fuck, are you hurt? What’s wrong?” He’s at your side in an instant, cradling your cheeks in his palms and the fear in his eyes causes another wave of guilt to wash over you, setting off a new fit of cries.

“I…I–I can’t put on the dress,” you croak out eventually and another sob escapes your mouth.

“Do you need me to help you? I can–”

“No,” you cut him off and burrow your face into his chest, soaking his shirt with tears as you search for a smidge of courage to admit the truth. His palm finds the bare skin of your back and he rubs it gently to soothe your inner turmoil, even though he’s clueless as to the cause of it.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay. I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” he says, the reassuring tone of his voice tinged with slight panic.

Not entirely sure what else to say, Eddie wraps his arms around you in a warm embrace. He rocks with you from side to side and softly hums a tune you can’t quite place. You think of how exposed and vulnerable you feel, how you’re letting him see the side of you that up until this moment remained concealed. And yet, no matter how hard it is to navigate through the vortex of your overpowering emotions that make your head throb and your eyes burn with tears, you recognise the feelings of safety and finding home as Eddie holds you close.

But the comfort those feelings bring is not enough to stifle the despair rooted deep in your stomach and a shiver runs down your spine.

“What’s going on? Tell me,” he whispers into your hair as his hand squeezes your shoulder and he draws you near. He waits patiently for you to take several deep breaths and calm down, his scent and the tender touch providing the very much needed tether to help you regain bits of your composure.

“I can’t put on the dress,” you slowly repeat your words between hiccups, each syllable sticking to your tongue, making it difficult to speak, “I must have gained weight and the dress is too small. No, wait,” you chuckle darkly through your tears and shake your head, “the dress is fine, it’s just me who’s too…”

You can’t finish the sentence and your voice breaks. Several words rush through your brain, terrible, vicious, painful words that you’re too scared to say out loud, certain that once you breathe life into them, they’ll become real and will haunt you forever.

He raises his eyebrows and gives you a puzzled look until the meaning behind your words finally dawns on him.

“What are you talking about?” Eddie stares at you, his bafflement turned into utter disbelief. “You’re the most beautiful and the most incredible girl I know!”

But you’re neither able to meet the intensity of his eyes nor able to take his words seriously. Instead, while tears run freely down your cheeks, your fingertips ghost over the tattooed bats on his forearm and you watch with blurry eyes how the ink disappears under your touch.

“The dress begs to differ,” you mumble weakly and Eddie scoffs.

“Screw the dress! It’s just a piece of fabric, it’s nothing! And if it made my girl feel like this, I’m voting for burning it.”

You give him a small smile, but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes, and he drags his hand down his face in frustration.

“Look, what I’m trying to say is that I love you, all of you. I love the way you squint your nose when the sun shines in your eyes, I love the way you bounce on your feet when you get excited about something, and I love the way your face lights up when you get an A on a test you worked so hard for. You can’t see yourself in those moments, but you need to trust me when I say you’re the most stunning woman in the whole wide world.”

Listening with a bated breath, you feel your heart pound hard against your chest. When you look up through your eyelashes, his expression turns soft as his eyes meet yours.

“C’mon, it’s impossible not to fall for you. You’re pretty awesome, don’t you know? You’re smart, kind, caring, especially when it comes to outsiders like me,” he points at himself with his thumb and shoots you a cheeky grin before his forehead contorts, “actually, forget the last one, you must be a freak if you care about me,” he adds with feigned disdain, the sparkle in his eyes giving away the joke, and it earns him a chuckle from you.

You nudge his chest with your shoulder but don’t pull away, not being able to resist such close proximity. With you leaning against him, his arms circle your torso in another warm hug and he pulls you into his lap.

“You’re pretty awesome, too,” you whisper into his chest, your voice hoarse along the edges from crying so much earlier.

You can’t see Eddie’s pleased smile or blushing cheeks, but you can feel his nose nuzzling into your hair.

“Thank you,” you add after a few moments and crane your neck to catch his lips in a soft, tender kiss.

The brush of his lips is so sweet and gentle that when you open your eyes and see the adoring look on his face, an enormous wave of guilt crushes against you.

He looks like he would do anything for you, and here you are, a total mess that can do nothing better but pity herself. Tonight was supposed to be special, you had so many plans and were so excited, but no, you had to have a little mental breakdown and fuck it all up. Just because you couldn’t put on that stupid dress.

The dress…

Your fingers splay over the skirt that covers your thighs only to curl into a fist, crumpling the delicate fabric.

With every second that ticks by, you’re growing more and more frustrated with yourself and your stupid feelings, and it doesn’t take you too long to feel overwhelmed by the swirling thoughts that do not waste any time to rear their ugly head again.

Clearing your throat, you slowly withdraw and the way Eddie’s face darkens makes you wince.

“Sorry for ruining tonight,” you apologise, your voice sounding like it doesn’t belong to you and you place your hand on his mouth when he opens it in protest, “I don’t think I have any other dress that would be suitable for a prom, and honestly? I kinda wanna stay home. I… I don’t feel like going out or something,” you admit and the gaze of his beautiful deep brown eyes refuses to leave your face.

Eddie studies you intently as a deep line forms between his eyebrows. It’s probably the first time in your relationship that he senses a vast distance between you, no matter how close your bodies are next to each other. It’s an odd feeling, one that makes his stomach tighten and his heart break. And yet, it seems that even when you shut yourself off like this, your subconsciousness seeks his proximity and he wonders whether you even realise that your fingers are toying with his chain bracelet, the gesture appearing absentminded. He aches to touch you, to cup your face, or to thumb at your cheeks, but he remains still, hesitant to move an inch and tear his gaze from you. Instead, he searches your face for any sign that would tell him what to do to make you smile, to cross the gap and find you again.

Suddenly, the coldness of the bathroom tiles on which you sit gets to your bones and you feel even more naked than a few minutes ago. You avert your eyes and free yourself from Eddie’s embrace. He watches you carefully as you pull away from him and hug your legs in a faint attempt to hide your skin in the layers of the dark blue satin. Once you lose the warmth of his body pressed to yours, the tell-tale signs of migraine begin to pulse in your temples.

He moves forward to say something but you raise your hand in a pleading gesture to once again silence his objections.

“But please,” you continue when you find the strength in your voice, “if you want to go, I mean, I guess not to the prom but elsewhere, maybe you could do something fun with guys from Hellfire or something… just go, please,” you know you’re rambling but you can’t stop the flow of sentences from flying out of your mouth, “don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine, I promise. I don’t want you to have a crappy evening just because of my big fat–”

“Jesus Christ, stop it! Seriously!” Eddie cuts you off and lets out an angry groan. “God, can’t you see that you didn’t ruin anything? I don’t care about the prom or going out with the guys, I just wanted to be with you.”

Your eyes turning misty, you swallow down a sob and worry your lower lip between your teeth.

Huffing out a defeated breath, Eddie crawls towards you and settles on the bathroom floor at your side, sitting on his heels as he carefully cups your face in his hands. It takes only a split second for you to give in and allow yourself to relish the touch of his palms on your skin. His eyes search your face and drop to your mouth, his thumb gently swiping across your bottom lip, stroking the imprint that your teeth have left there.

“I know it’s probably gonna sound crazy, but I feel like the luckiest guy in the world when I’m with you,” he says softly. “So what if we’re sat on the floor in your bathroom and not at the prom? Who gives a shit about that? Because I don’t care where we are as long as we’re together. And…” he pauses for a few seconds before he adds, his voice quavering, “I thought you felt the same way.”

“Of course, I do! God, Eddie, I do feel the same way,” you hurry to reply and press your hand to his chest to reassure him of your words.

With several buttons undone, Eddie’s white shirt allows your palm to touch his skin and the warmth that seeps into your fingertips drives away the coldness and brings the needed peace. At that moment, you wonder whether your own touch has a similar soothing effect as he closes his eyes and breathes out a slow and easy breath of contentment.

He leans closer to rest his forehead against yours and you let out a sigh of relief. You sit like that for a few moments, neither of you willing to move. Eventually releasing his hold on your face, he covers your hand instead and weaves his fingers with yours, his grip firm enough for you to know he will never let go. You feel his heart beating under the press of your palm and you know that it beats for you.

Just like your heart beats for him.

“I just hate to see you in so much pain, but I don’t know how to fix this,” he admits quietly after a while.

“I… I think I need to fix it myself,” you say and find the truth behind your words surprisingly comforting. “But it’s hard. Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, I can’t see anything but the parts I’ve grown to hate, the extra weight that I can’t get rid of, and I just feel… so utterly lost,” you breathe out and a single tear trickles down your face.

Eddie brushes a loose strand of your hair, tucks it behind your ear and bends down as his lips catch the teardrop on your cheek, his fingers tracing your jaw.

“I want to help. How can I make you understand that you’re beautiful both inside and out?” Eddie asks and the urgency you note in his voice makes your breath hitch in your throat.

You remain quiet, not entirely sure what to say and he drops his hands to his lap.

“If only you could see what I see,” he sighs, hanging his head low.

It takes several moments for either of you to move, but at last, it is him who breaks the silence. Hesitantly, he reaches out and carefully grasps your fingers, his thumb drawing small circles across the back of your hand.

“I want to… Can I show you?” His voice trembles, which makes you look up and meet his expectant gaze. Chest heaving, he takes a deep breath and wets his lips before he continues. “Please, let me show you how beautiful you are.”

The whirl of your thoughts makes it difficult to concentrate. You glance down at your intertwined fingers and will your mind to calm down.

“I know we haven’t…” he trails off, the end of the sentence and the question those words imply hanging in the air that turns thick and heavy with anticipation of things yet to be explored. Feeling the heat rising to your cheeks, you lift your eyes to his, squeeze his hand and slowly nod.

“I want it too.”

Bringing your hand to his lips, he places small kisses on your knuckles and a ragged breath leaves your throat. The gesture is so soft and intimate; you can’t help but cup his cheek, hopeful that all the love and gratitude you feel for the man in front of you gets across by the gentle touch of your palm as you struggle to find the words that would convey the sentiment.

But it seems no words are necessary as you watch him close his eyes in bliss, lean into your fingers and kiss the delicate skin of your inner wrist in answer to your unspoken confession. Slowly, his lips start to travel up your arm, to your shoulder, and when they reach the column of your neck, you gasp. His mouth relentless on your skin, you wrap your arms around him and hold him close, breathing rapidly. It’s only a matter of time before your mouths collide in a passionate kiss, his fingers tangled in your hair as the air fills with sounds of soft whimpers and tongues sliding against each other.

“Maybe we should move this to the bedroom,” Eddie croaks out and you just nod vigorously, not trusting your own voice.

Leaping to his feet, he holds out his hands and you gladly accept. As you stand up, you step on the hem of your dress by accident and almost lose your balance, but luckily, Eddie catches you and his palms settle on your waist in a firm grasp, keeping you upright.

“The dress. I–” You suddenly remember the ordeal of forcing the dress up to your waist and a momentary surge of panic rises in your stomach.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” Eddie replies, and for the first time, you finally, completely believe him. Tugging gently at the fabric of the bodice, he assists you in sliding your arms out of the sleeves. Once your arms are free, he gets down on his knees and carefully hooks his fingers underneath the waistband of the dress skirt, working it down your body.

When you move to make yourself useful and aid him with the undressing, he gently swats your hands away and there’s nothing else left for your fingers to do but to comb through his hair and rest at the scruff of his neck as you throw your head back, a small smile playing on your lips because with every new part of your skin exposed he runs his lips against it and plants small kisses along the hem of your knickers, leaving a trail of goosebumps and sending little jolts of pleasure to your core.

You’re so lost in the sensations dancing all over your body that it takes you a moment to register the dress finally sliding down and pooling at your feet as you stand in the middle of the bathroom in only your underwear. Offering his hand, Eddie helps you step out of the dress and stands up, his fingers laced through yours.

Without uttering a single word, he leads you back to your bedroom, the palm of his free hand finding the small of your back. He’s closed the door shut with a gentle thud before he pulls you towards your bed and you sit down together at the edge.  

His fingers are restless in your palm and you feel a similar quivering in your nerve ends, both of you suddenly unsure of what to do. Your stomach churns and he swallows down hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. The movement catches your attention and your gaze drifts to his clothes.

“Someone’s awfully overdressed,” you break the awkward silence that has settled over you in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere, and wave at his formal attire, giving him an amused smile. He glances down as if to confirm your words and your smile turns into a chuckle.

“Right, and we don’t want that, do we?” he grins and you fight the urge to trace your fingers along the wrinkles that have formed around his eyes.

Eddie can’t quite wrap his head around the fact that this is really happening. He was imagining this moment, yes, dreaming about it even, but all the fantasies could not prepare him for the reality of it all. It’s taken him aback that he’s more nervous than he anticipated. His heart is pounding fast against his chest and his palms have grown clammy as he keeps nervously tugging at his fingers.

The bedspring squeaks a bit when he gets to his feet and grips the lapels of his jacket, removing the red material from his shoulders as he toes off his shoes and socks. With unsteady fingers, he makes sure to unbutton his shirt some more, even though not completely, before he grabs the back of the collar and pulls the shirt over his head, all his tattoos on display. Staggered breathing and the rustle of fabric are the only noises that fill your bedroom until the distinctive sound of his belt unbuckling and the zipper opening pierces through the space between you.

It makes his stomach tighten.

You busy yourself with brushing invisible threads off the bedspread, your fingers skimming over the soft material, but you can’t help stealing sideway glances as Eddie strips to his underwear.

Maybe you should stand up and help him undress, let your hands roam freely over his body just the way you’ve desired on so many occasions. But you can’t bring yourself to do that as you sit there, dragging your teeth over your lower lip as your fingers keep fidgeting, too anxious to move, especially when you catch a glimpse of his happy trail.

“It would look hotter if there was some music playing or shit,” Eddie jokes to mask his nervousness and flashes you a grin, shaking you from your turbulent thoughts, and you huff out a laugh.

“Such a tease,” you click your tongue with a smile. “Don’t try your luck, Munson. Both my stereo and my camera are right there on my desk, and you can bet I would use the opportunity to snap a few pictures,” you warn only half-jokingly. “I’m sure your friends would love to see this new side of their dungeon master,” you add and wink at him.

“Oh you wouldn’t do that, you love me,” he retorts and squints his eyes in happiness.

“I do,” you answer honestly and bite your lips to prevent another smile from breaking across your face.

Tossing his trousers to the pile of his clothes, he joins you on the bed, tucking one leg under him, and motions to your hair. “One of the hairpins, it… Just let me…” Your eyes follow the movement of his hand, and he carefully pulls out the piece of light metal that’s loosened and barely hung from a single hair at the side of your face. He must have tousled up your hairdo earlier when you kissed in the bathroom.

“I should probably take them all out, there’s not that many,” you suggest and start threading through your hair, searching with your fingertips for the remaining hairpins.

“I can do it for you,” Eddie offers and you gladly turn your back to him. He works in silence, gently removing all the pins from your hair until he’s finished and stretches out his arm around you to drop them on your bedside table. You shift to face him but the pressure of his palm between your shoulder blades makes you halt in your tracks.

Moving your hair aside, he places a gentle kiss on your shoulder, and a ragged breath leaves your lips. Soon, his mouth latches on the delicate skin of your neck and collarbone, and you throw your head back, his chest pressed against your back preventing you from falling backwards.

This, the feeling of his lips, this, you know. This is something familiar and you slowly begin to relax in his arms, the memory of his hot breath on your bare throat and the bruised skin from his ministrations when you once skipped school and hid under the bleachers playing in the back of your mind.

“Eddie,” you whisper his name and he repeats yours like a prayer against your skin.

“Jesus Christ, you’re so beautiful,” he suddenly breathes out, his hand gliding upwards to cup the side of your face, the tip of his thumb stroking along your cheekbone.

You twist your neck to catch his gaze and rub your nose against his cheek.

“So beautiful,” he echoes and his other hand snakes around your waist to roam over your stomach.

Every now and then, his fingers bump into a cute little bow on your knickers and even though they never venture farther down, the tingling sensation they send to your core is enough for you to feel the first signs of wetness between your legs.

“You remind me of a guitar,” he suddenly muses matter-of-factly as his palms caress the line of your hips and you quirk an eyebrow at him, taken aback by the unexpected comparison.

“Really?” you manage to ask despite the lump in your throat.

“Uh-huh,” he hums and sweeps the back of his fingers across your stomach as if strumming the instrument. The touch is so light and gentle like butterfly wings fluttering and you’re sure it would make you giggle if you weren’t so damn aroused. Instead, a fresh wave of juices floods your core.

You’re so caught up in the feeling of his hands on your skin that it takes you a few seconds to register him whispering into your ear.

“You have this very cute birthmark, here,” Eddie comments as his fingers dance at a dark spot of your skin near your hip and the puff of his hot breath on your ear tickles. You squirm slightly, but he doesn’t give you a chance to recover before he draws your earlobe between his lips, sucking and nibbling on it with determination as his palms relentlessly explore your body. Pushing your hand through his hair, your fingers lace into his curls and he moans around your skin. When he gives the delicate flesh a gentle bite, you grasp a handful of his hair and eagerly tug at his locks, desperate for more.

Releasing the earlobe from his mouth with a soft smack of his lips, Eddie pauses and takes a deep breath, oblivious to your silent pleas. With measured movements, he untangles your fingers from his hair and grabs your hand that had somehow found its way to his thigh. At first, your brows furrow in confusion, your hazy thoughts growing more and more unsure of where this is going, scared that he’s changed his mind. But your worries dissipate just as quickly as they appeared when he brings your hands to your bra-covered breasts.

“Can you feel it? Can you feel how wonderful your body is under my touch?” Guiding your palms, he weaves his fingers through yours and squeezes your breasts, eliciting a soft moan from your mouth.

The bra proves to have very little purpose as you feel your nipples turning hard and tender through the material, and you release a soft whine every time Eddie’s thumbs brush over them.

You arch your back and relish the sensation until his hands drift away and you gasp at the loss of the touch.

“May I?” he asks instead, and you note the audible gulp in his throat as his fingers wander across your back and along the hem of your bra. You had not taken things this far before and a shiver runs down your spine.

“Yes, please,” you reply, glad that your voice sounds more confident than you feel at this moment.

He fumbles with the fastening for only a short time before sliding the straps from your shoulders. Once the bra gets thrown on the floor, his warm palms, without hesitation, make their way back to your breasts, cupping and squeezing. When his deft fingers shift to pinch your nipples, you can’t stop the need to roll your hips, grinding against him, and you feel a thrill of pure joy as his cock responds to the pressure, thin layers of your knickers and his boxers the only obstacle between your bodies. You repeat the motion on purpose, rubbing yourself against his lap and the now-familiar twitch that greets you in return conjures up a wide grin on your face.

“You little minx,” he hides his smirk into your hair and grabs your hands again, placing them back on your breasts.

Your chest starts heaving rapidly as he fondles the sensitive flesh, his fingers never stopping in their movements while he watches over your shoulder, his cheek pressed to yours until you both breathe heavily in tandem.

“So, fucking, hot,” he grunts into your ear and his grip over your hands tightens with every word.

Shifting the direction of his strokes, he leads your interlocked hands to the curve of your stomach, your hips and your arse, and you’re certain the damp patch on your knickers is growing larger by the second. You cannot resist the urge to rub your thighs together and it’s his turn to push his groin against the small of your back, finding momentary relief.

“Remember two weeks ago, when I got a detention?” Eddie asks, his question clearly rhetoric, as he does not wait for your reply. “I didn’t know the answer to Mr Kaminsky’s question, hell I didn’t even know what he was asking, ‘cos I was too busy ogling your arse.”

“You weren’t,” you retort weakly and gasp when a heated stroke of your combined hands runs over a particularly sensitive part of your skin, causing tingles that start at your toes and travel up through your veins to spread into every particle of your body.

“I totally was. It was impossible not to stare when you’d worn those pretty jeans. Don’t know what he was thinking when he didn’t allow us to be in the same lab group and forced us to sit separately. Just gave me a better vantage point.”

You chuckle at that but the sound that leaves your lips comes out more like a whimper, your arousal growing stronger and stronger.

“Oh, I love this, look how pretty this is,” he exclaims after a while of silence filled only with your heavy breathing, and his fingertips wander to your sides.

Wetting your lips and blinking a few times to collect yourself, you drop your head and let your eyes trace the path of Eddie’s hands. It takes you a moment to figure out what he is talking about, but eventually you draw in a shuddering breath when you realise he’s caressing your stretchmarks.

“It looks like a lightning bolt on your skin, that’s so cool,” Eddie reflects with fascination and runs his fingers along the light lines that meander over your skin and fade around the edges. “Or maybe like tree branches,” he muses after a beat.

He can easily picture small bright leaves and blossoms growing from the twining lines and he wonders if you would allow him to paint them on your skin in watercolours. You would lie on your side in his bed, naked, your hip turning into a canvas, and he would dip his brush in bright colours and smear the vibrant shades across your skin to create a masterpiece. Come to think of it, as he holds you in his arms, your body yearning and longing, he knows you’re a work of art already.

The more he inspects the skin on your sides, the clearer the idea that is being formed in his head gets. For the last few months, he’d been contemplating various designs for his next tattoo, and the image of similar streaks in dark ink adorning his side is quick to exhilarate him as a small smile plays on his lips.

“What?” he asks when he catches you watching him intently.

“Nothing,” you offer in reply and feel a similar tug at the corners of your mouth.

Instead, you capture Eddie’s lips with yours and kiss him till you’re both breathless, muffling moans in each other’s mouths. He moves to kneel down on the floor and you willingly spread your legs for him, welcoming him in your warm embrace as you run your hands through his hair and claw at his back.

“Eddie,” you whisper and the tense edge to your voice makes him deepen the kiss, his tongue relentless in your mouth. Once you, feeling rather light-headed, tear away from him to take in great gulps of air, his lips travel down your body, over your throat and collarbones to your chest. He lays open-mouthed kisses along your sternum, leaving a wet trail in his wake. He doesn’t hesitate to use the opportunity and shifts his attention to one of your breasts, his tongue lapping across the nipple and circling it with his tongue before he wraps his lips around it. Sucking with fervour, he brings his hand to your chest and cups the other breast. When his hand starts kneading the soft flesh, you can’t help but rub your damp knickers against his stomach, the friction only causing more wetness pooling in your throbbing pussy that begs for more attention.

No longer physically able to draw out the anticipation, Eddie moves farther down, kissing across your stomach, and sits on his heels, his teeth running along the hem of your knickers as his palms caress your sides. Soon enough, he drops his hands from your hips to grip the underside of your thighs and drags you to the edge of the bed.

Leaning back, you brace yourself on your forearms and lift your hips so that Eddie can hook his fingers in the waistband of your knickers and tug them down your legs. Once he’s tossed the piece of material aside, his hands return to your body and he palms the back of your calves, his fingers moving tantalisingly up and down your skin. He kisses your inner knee only to chuckle when an embarrassingly desperate whimper escapes your mouth at the unexpected touch.

Through hooded eyes, you watch as his fingers slide higher up your legs and dig into the flesh of your thighs. He looks up and studies your face intently as his palms apply gentle, yet persistent pressure to your skin. Willingly, you slowly spread your thighs for him, not daring to breathe.

Your mouth goes dry when he drops his gaze to your pussy that aches to be touched, and his eyes darken with lust.

“Gorgeous,” he whispers and it takes you by surprise how low his voice has turned.

His tongue darting out, Eddie wets his lips and skates the nails of his left hand up your thigh until you release a soft gasp as his touch comes to a halt right at your entrance. His movements are slow and you note the slight tremble that accompanies them.

Finally, he runs his fingers through your folds, and you suck in a sharp breath because even though his hands were warm, they could hardly match with the heat of your pulsating pussy and the rings he’s always wearing amplify the sensation of the contrast. Spreading the wetness, he stares in absolute bewilderment at how you react to his touch, your walls spasming around thin air. No longer able to resist the urge, you raise your legs and dig your heels to the edge of the mattress to give you the necessary leverage, and you push your hips up in a desperate attempt to seek more pressure. His fingertips find your clit and you can’t help but grip the bedspread and ball your hands into fists.

“You’re really like a guitar, aren’t you?” he chuckles and rhythmically massages the bundle of nerves, making you see stars behind your eyes. “Just the right press of my fingers,” he applies more pressure, causing you to let out a drawn-out moan, “and you sing.”

A soft sob rips out of your throat.

“Eddie, please. More,” you beg, not bothered by how hopeless and pathetic you must sound. All you know is that you want more, that you need more. More pressure, more fingers, more everything.

Being the pleaser that he is, at least when it comes to you, he readily obliges and works his forefinger into your wet hole. Your toes curling, you gasp and throw your head back, flinching when the crown of your head hits the wall behind you. But the pain pulsing to your ears is easily forgotten as it’s suppressed by the waves of pleasure growing at a fast rate between your legs.

Carefully, Eddie adds another finger and the burning sensation of your entrance stretching to accommodate the unfamiliar width has you clenching your jaw and whimpering through gritted teeth.

It’s all so much and not enough at the same time.  

When you think you’ve got accustomed to the feel of his fingers pumping in and out of your soaked pussy, you force yourself to open your eyes, breathing heavily.

The vision in front of you – his right hand gripping your thigh tightly, his eyes trained on your cunt swallowing his fingers again and again, and his tongue stuck out in concentration – sends a shiver down your spine and settles in the pit of your stomach, causing more juices to flow freely out of you, coating Eddie’s fingers. His eyelids flutter when he breathes you in.

He catches you staring and gives you the most shameless grin that you’ve ever seen in return. Not dropping your gaze, he leans over and swipes his tongue in a broad stripe from the place where his fingers are buried deep inside you all the way to your swollen clit. You shudder and he repeats the movement, collecting your arousal on his tongue and spreading it all over your folds. He reaches your clit again and starts flicking his tongue, which makes your eyes roll back in your head as you once again start moaning uncontrollably.

He licks and sucks inexpertly, testing and exploring with his tongue, and his eyes stay fixed on your face, scanning it for every minuscule reaction. When the graze of his teeth meets the sensitive skin of your cunt and you wince, he’s quick to pull away and apologise, mumbling a soft ‘sorry’ with every gentle stroke of his tongue that readily soothes the delicate skin.

You feel your orgasm steadily approaching and your heart starts beating hard against your chest. Upping the tempo, Eddie’s solely focused on you and your pleasure and when a desperate ‘yes, please, just like that’, repeated like a mantra between gasps and moans, falls from your lips, he gladly obeys, his lips wrapping around your clit and sucking hard.

Trashing from side to side on the bed, you yelp when one of your legs slips on the duvet and you hear something fall from the bed, but Eddie’s quick to grab the ankle to drape your leg over his shoulder. This way, he buries his face deeper between your legs and you don’t hesitate to appreciate the opportunity this angle gives you as you dig your heel into his back, urging him on and eliciting a sweet grunt muffled into the crevices of your cunt.  

“I’m so close,” you manage to breathe out, your eyebrows knitted in concentration, and with a flick of his wrist and his lips firmly wrapped around your sensitive spot Eddie sends you over the edge. Your thighs buckling, you arch your back and cry out his name, the surge of warmth between your legs matching the fire that licks at your skin. Waves of pleasure rush through your veins and you shake uncontrollably, every nerve ending tingling as your juices trickle down from your pulsating cunt and he’s there to catch everything with his tongue.

After a few moments of fighting to catch your breath, you slowly open your eyes and swallow hard around thin air, suddenly aware of the parched feeling in your throat. There’s an unfamiliar pain in your fingers as you unclench them from around the crinkled bedspread and you feel pins and needles in your foot that’s stayed glued to the bed.  

Slightly trembling, you prop yourself up on your arms and look at the man between your legs.

Eddie is resting his cheek on your inner thigh, licking his fingers clean, and his face lights up when he meets your gaze. Giving your clit one last gentle suck that makes you squirm, he releases it with a smack of his lips and smirks up at you, your arousal glistening on his face. He looks so smug, and you can’t help but smile and shake your head before you rake your fingers through his hair and tip his chin up so you can bend down and give him a long, deep kiss.

You moan as the taste of your release hits your tongue and Eddie raises himself up on his knees, chasing your lips. The kiss is sloppy, lazy and urgent at the same time, and when you feel a firm bulge pressed against your thigh, you can’t help but run your hands all over his chest, your fingers splayed so that every part of his skin is paid its due attention until your hands drop down to his waist, pausing briefly to dig your nails into his sides and then sinking farther down.

Slipping your hand beneath the elastic of his boxers, you palm at his erection, experimentally sliding your hand up and down his length. Lips parted, you move your hand in determined strokes and can’t resist the amazement at the contrast under your touch; the silky, delicate skin gliding against the thick hardness of his cock.

He’s hot and heavy in your hand and when you trace the prominent veins with your fingers and you thumb at the slit to spread precum all over the head, Eddie muffles his groans into the crook of your neck.

“Stop, stop, stop,” he mumbles and takes several deep breaths through his nose as he nuzzles into you. You can’t resist the urge to give his erection one last gentle squeeze before your palms make their way back to his waist and you move your mouth to suck at the hollow of his throat. “I need you,” he whispers and leans back to eye you hungrily.

Your lips meet in a searing kiss, and without breaking the contact he nudges you to lie down on your bed. You let out a breathless shriek and tighten your arms around his shoulders, almost biting down on his lips when you feel a hard jut of plastic cassette boxes prod your back.

“Careful!” Eddie calls out and holds you upright with one of his arms so that he can slip his hand under your back to seize the few cassettes he was inspecting earlier and place them on the floor, right next to the headphones that tumbled down earlier. You start giggling, having no clue how you could fail to notice the colourful covers on your bedspread. To be fair, when Eddie’s got you in his arms, it’s quite hard to focus on anything but him.

He joins in your laughter, the lines around his eyes deepening as he gives you a cheerful grin, gently massaging your back with his warm palms before he shuffles to carefully set you down on the mattress.

Lifting himself up on all fours, he crawls over you and your hands roam his torso and arms, mapping his tattoos and sending jolts of pleasure across his skin. You push his boxers down with your heels as far as the garment will go until it gets stuck around his ankles. Unceremoniously kicking the boxers away, Eddie pins you underneath him, pressing his hard cock against your pussy and every thought that you could possibly have at this moment flies out of your head. It’s only the feeling of his stiff length sliding between your folds as he covers himself in your dripping juices that becomes the sole focus of your mind.

You open your eyes, only now realising that you must have shut them in pure ecstasy at some point, and beam up at Eddie. He’s gorgeous, hovering over you, his own gaze trained on you as his curls frame his beautiful face. You’re aware of the restless fluttering in your stomach as the significance of this moment dawns on you, but you can’t bring yourself to give it control over your absolute happiness.

Suddenly, your smile slightly drops when you realise something’s missing. You look around, searching for a condom like it would appear if only you looked hard enough.

“I don’t have–”

“I do,” he cuts you off and you glance up at him. His cheeks and ears turn dark pink as he blushes profusely. “Erm, this is kinda embarrassing.” He slowly sucks in a breath and gives you an apologetic look. “Shit. Okay, so I didn’t want to presume things or anything, really, but you know what they say about proms. And I just thought that maybe, just maybe, something might happen, one thing leads to another, and it’s better to be safe than sorry. But still. I probably shouldn’t have. But then I imagined what could theoretically happen and…”

Your heart soars, so full of pure adoration as your smile steadily grows, your eyes glinting with amusement.

“So yeah,” he shakes his head, “I just, you know, wanted to be ready, like the ‘in case of emergency, break glass’ kinda situation. Well, that’s a really shit metaphor, no wait, a simile, right? See, I pay attention when you’re tutoring me,” he adds with a grin that only widens when you snort out a laugh that threatened to burst out at any point during his speech. “Anyway!” he exclaims and chuckles a bit. “To answer your unspoken question. Yes, I do have a condom.”

There’s a slightly higher pitch notable in his voice and his fingers drum restlessly against your pillow. He's clearly just as nervous as you are, you think to yourself and smile at him gently.

“Thank you for taking it with you tonight,” you say and tilt your chin to give him a soft, lingering kiss.

You get your legs that are locked around his waist to loosen enough so that he can lean over the edge of the bed to pull out a wallet from his trousers and dig in it for a short while. You stare as the muscles in his arms flex and when you catch a glimpse of not one, but several square wrappers in his wallet, you feel a flush of warmth spreading across your cheeks, the heat matching the slow burn of lust and anticipation smouldering between your legs.

Biting your lips, you cannot tear your eyes away as Eddie opens the wrapper and rolls the condom down his length. He hisses at the slide of his hands on him, not denying himself a few measured strokes. You breathe heavily, your gaze fixed on him, and a soft whimper escapes your lips when he drags the tip of his cock along your slit.

Slowly leaning over you, he pushes himself into your tight pussy and the feeling of his throbbing length stretching your walls makes you throw your head back and moan out his name.

The hot wetness engulfs his cock and Eddie squints his eyes in pure bliss. He had yearned to make love to you for so long, but the feeling of your bodies pressed together in the most intimate and delicious way far exceeds all his expectations. You’re so warm and pliant under his touch and although he’s not sure what he has done in this or any other life to deserve someone so incredible just as you are, one thing he knows is that he never wants to let go.

He swears, his breath fanning your face, but the rush of blood in your ears drowns his words and all you can do is let out a drawn-out ‘fuck’ as you struggle to get used to the girth of his cock buried deep inside you. You hide your face in the crook of his neck, your brows contorted as you squeeze your thighs and dig your nails into his back. Your mind turns into a jumbled mess while you battle to navigate through all the feelings that curse through your veins. To restore order in them, you concentrate on the beating of his heart against your chest, grateful that he’s giving you the needed time to recover.

After a while, Eddie props himself up on his slightly shaking arms and brushes your hair from your forehead to study your face.

“Are you okay?”

Your palms slide to the back of his neck, and you feel the muscles under your touch, tense and taut with the effort to stay still like that, even though all he wants to do is snap his hips into you over and over again.

“I’m good, it’s just…” Almost too much, you want to add but take a deep breath instead. “It’s okay.”

“You sure?”

“Uh-huh.” Your chest is heaving and you make yourself meet his beautiful brown eyes that are looking down at you with great care as you give him a reassuring smile. Despite a slight shaking you can’t quite keep back, your fingers move to ghost over his jaw and protruding chin, and you let him rest his forehead against yours.

Raising your legs, you cross your ankles and dig your heels into his buttocks to encourage him to move, and the way your walls clench around him makes him bottom out, his lips meeting yours in a kiss once again.

Eddie’s thrusts are slow, deep, just like the tender swipes of his tongue in your mouth and when he shifts his weight to his forearms and grabs your hand in his, your fingers intertwining, you feel yourself getting lost in the immense pleasure.

You bring your free hand to his back to scratch your nails over it, your fingertips digging into the flesh between his shoulder blades, which sends a bolt of buzzing excitement right to his cock, making him even harder than before. With your attention spurring him on, you feel yourself being pushed towards the headboard with every roll of his hips, sliding across the soft material of your bedspread. You quickly find the rhythm that works for both of you as you lift your hips to meet his thrust with just as much fervour as he pours into his movements.

Sucking on his full bottom lip, you smile when he whispers into your mouth.

“You feel good?”

The tug at the corner of your mouth intensifies. Silly boy, concerned for you even when his kisses swallow down every tiny whimper of your excitement and your walls keep constricting around him.

“I feel…” your sentence gets interrupted by a soft moan spilling from your lips as his cock hits just the right spot, “amazing,” you answer truthfully and grin at him, your heart pounding loudly against your chest.

“Me too, baby,” Eddie beams and dives back for another passionate kiss, his hips snapping relentlessly into your fast-increasing wetness. Clenching around his cock, you hum against his lips, letting yourself be washed by waves after waves of absolute bliss and when you note the signs of a strong orgasm building up, you’re determined to chase that high, tearing your hand from Eddie’s back and pushing it down his arse cheek as you grab on the flesh to urge him to add even more force into his thrusts.

Instead, he does the exact opposite and a loud, frustrated groan is ripped from your throat as the rolls of his hips lose their vigour and slow down, your climax ebbing away.

“Sorry,” Eddie whispers although his expression lacks any kind of remorse, and you pout at him. When he catches your annoyed expression, he smiles and places a small kiss on the tip of your nose, his hand clasped in yours squeezing your fingers. “I don’t wanna cum just yet…”

Letting out an exasperated sigh, you narrow your eyes. “I swear to God, Eddie, if this is some joke that I don’t get…”

“No, no,” he chuckles and you feel your racing heart calm down as he rubs small circles against the back of your hand. “The thing is when I was imagining you–”

“Wait, you were imagining me?” you interrupt him, slightly perplexed, “Like this?”

“Of course I was,” Eddie blinks in disbelief, “a million times at least.” Shaking his head, he strokes the frown that has formed between your brows and caresses your cheeks. He dips his head and claims your lips before he drags his mouth along your jaw, leaving a wet trail in his wake.

“But in those fantasies,” he continues, his breath hot against the shell of your ear as he pulls at your earlobe with his teeth, “you were riding me.”

Your breath hitches as you involuntarily squeeze your thighs around his hips, the movement making both of you release a soft gasp.

“What do you think?” he says and quirks his eyebrows.

Instead of providing a verbal response, your lips curl up in a smile. You plant your palms on his chest and push slightly to make him roll on his back, his face lit up in excitement. It takes a bit of manoeuvring since your bed is too narrow for two people to fit easily and as you and Eddie shift this way and that, an occasional scowl followed by laughter escapes your mouths every time you accidentally poke or kick at each other.

Finally upright and on your knees, you throw your leg over and straddle him as his hands land on your hips, his cold rings soothing your heated skin with every gentle caress of his palms.

You can’t help but pause for a short moment to admire the man lying under you. Eddie’s cheeks are flushed, and you tilt your head as you let your gaze trace the pink blush spreading to his ears. It’s a strange feeling at first to see him lying in your bed with his curls fanned over your pillow, but it’s a feeling that puts a big smile on your face and warms your heart.

His lips parted and eyes hooded with lust, he watches you intently and doesn’t break the eye contact even when you lay your hands on his chest, the touch light enough to give you the freedom to slide your palms all over his skin, but firm enough for him to feel the intensity of your need to caress every part of him within your reach.

When you run your fingers through the soft hair below his navel, Eddie shudders.

No longer wasting your time, you grab his cock and position it at your entrance, and then you’re sinking down, the motion painstakingly slow as you want to prolong the breathtaking sensation of his hard length pushing your walls apart, which makes your eyelashes flutter in bliss.

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie grunts and digs his fingers into your sides as you arch your back and your breath stutters in your throat. Lost in pleasure, your eyes snap shut and you savour the moment as you give in to the feel of being so deliciously filled. A new rush of heat burns inside you and it’s like hot flames are licking all over your skin.

Eventually, you open your eyes again to meet his gaze and press your palms to his chest for balance so that you can draw yourself up only to slide down his cock again. And again, and again.

“You look so beautiful, fuck.” He lets out a shaky, hard exhale and raises his hands to fondle your breasts, lightly at first and then harder, causing you to bite down on your lower lip as you bounce on his length. All you can do is release breathless moans and keep your hips rocking over him, the wet sounds of your lovemaking filling your ears, and it’s the most wonderful sound you’ve ever heard.

Eddie wants to tell you so much more, he wants to whisper the dirtiest things that come to his mind but all words die somewhere in his throat as the pleasure wins him over. He must be dreaming, he’s sure of it, but the warmth of your skin under his touch proves to him how incredibly real you are as he skims his hands down your sides to let his fingers dance along your thighs, only to slide them up your arms and settle them on your breasts again.

Over the time since he found you in the bathroom, the afternoon sun that illuminates your bedroom has come nearer to the horizon and now he watches you in bewilderment as you ride him, every beautiful curve within his reach, and the brilliant orange hues of the setting sun make your body glow. If it’s not a dream, then why do you look like a goddess?

Hips undulating, you feel your thighs burning with exertion but you just can’t give a damn. You slip your hand between your bodies and whimper when your fingertips brush over the bundle of nerves. The precipice of orgasm that you felt a few moments ago returns in full force and it takes you by surprise as it has built up embarrassingly faster than before, the tingle crawling all over your skin and the slickness coating your fingers. Your movements falter as you choke out a moan and Eddie takes no time to grab a handful of your arse, his grip tight, and he meets your thrusts.

You screw your eyes shut, your climax right at your fingertips and when you feel his fingers joining yours as he starts rubbing your clit frantically, sending jolts after jolts of unadulterated pleasure to your core, the orgasm rips through your body and you crash over the edge.

With a wild scream, you collapse down on his chest, shaking uncontrollably and breathing hard as your throbbing pussy spasms around his hardness over and over again. Eddie holds you in his arms while you cling to him in pure ecstasy, his hips thrusting up as he pants hard and drives his cock deep into your dripping cunt, drawing out the pleasure that curses through your veins to the point of near agony before his hold on you tightens and he finally cums with a strong groan rumbling in his chest, his cock twitching in tandem with spasms of your aftershocks.

You both hiss when Eddie pulls out and soon enough, you feel the sticky mess from between your legs smearing across his stomach. Limbs heavy, you’re too exhausted to care, or to move for that matter, and you let him drape your languid body against his side so that his hands can worm their way towards his crotch and make quick work of the condom.

For a few moments, you both just lie there, absolutely spent as you feel the ripples of pleasure pulse all over your body, sweat drying on your heated skin.  

“Holy shit,” you breathe out when you get confident enough that your voice won’t break and you turn to beam at Eddie.

“Right?” he grins, his eyes darting to yours, and he makes a happy noise as the absolute bliss painted all over your features doesn’t go unnoticed.

Keeping your eyes trained on his face, you lift one of your arms and run your fingers along the ridge of his nose. You crack a smile when he squints his eyes because your feather-light touch tickles him. He grasps your hand and presses a soft kiss to your knuckles before he turns to face you and brings his lips to yours, his arms wrapping around your waist so that he can rub your back. The kiss is slow as he sucks on your lower lip and then gently licks at it, a wide grin spreading across his cheeks that matches your overjoyed smile. Deepening the kiss, you hum in contentment as his tongue explores your mouth before his hold around you tightens and you burrow your face to the crook of his neck, both of you dozing off for a few minutes.

Then, his voice stirs you from your sleep.

“Wait.”

“What?” you ask and chuckle as you catch his eyes bulging out in shock.

“I wanted to give you something!” he exclaims and frowns at the pile of his clothes.

“You didn’t have to bring me anything,” you reply but he’s clearly not listening, too deep in his thoughts.

“Shit, I left it in my van. Uhm…” He looks around, his brows furrowed. Pecking your lips in a brief kiss, he jumps to his feet and retrieves his shirt and boxers from the lump of clothes, hastily putting them on.

You stare in a daze, confused about what’s gotten into him as he slides his arms into the white shirt and pulls up his boxers. The only thing you know is that you miss his warmth in your bed.

When he’s done, he raises his finger and gives you a stern look. “Don’t go anywhere.”

“Where would I– Eddie?!” you call out his name but he’s already gone.

With the lingering excitement buzzing all over his skin, he skips every other step to fly down the stairs, almost tripping over his own feet.

He swings the car door open and dives into the passenger’s seat to rummage through the glove compartment. His face lights up when he finds what he’s been looking for and with a loud bang he closes the van again. His smile freezes slightly when he catches sight of an elderly lady knitting on the front porch of the next-door house staring at him with wide eyes. Suddenly aware of his half-naked appearance, he blushes and lifts his arm in greeting, to which he gets no response, before he scurries off back to your house.

Shutting the bedroom door behind himself, he slams his back against it and gives you an apologetic look, his eyebrows raised.

“Erm, I think your neighbour just saw me,” he says and waves in the general direction of the street.

“Really?” you giggle and Eddie lets out a relieved sigh, only now realising how worried he was that he’d somehow screwed things up. “Wait, could it be Mrs Lewis?” you ponder out loud as you toss a few tissues into a small bin, having used the opportunity to clean yourself up while Eddie was gone, and you take a seat on your bed again.

“We didn’t exactly have time to introduce ourselves,” he grins and twirls his hair.

“Don’t worry,” you laugh. “She spotted me last week when I was sneaking out for our date and didn’t tell on me.”

“Good,” Eddie smiles and withdraws from the door, closing the distance. He kneels in front of you on the floor and you shamelessly sneak your hands through the gap of his open shirt and rest them on his sides, exhaling a soft sigh when the scent of him and the familiar warmth of his skin enthrals your senses. He weaves his fingers through yours and delicately takes your hand. “Here, I’ve got this for you.”

A gentle smile playing on your lips, you’re too busy studying his face, watching the way the wrinkles around his eyes deepen as he holds your gaze, the way his eyelashes flutter when he casts down his eyes, and the way his tongue pokes out as he ties something around your wrist. Reluctantly, you tear your gaze away from his beautiful face to see what it is.

“Eddie,” you breathe out and swallow down tears that have welled up in your eyes.

It’s a corsage with small crimson rose buds and thin dark blue ribbons, and you realise it matches both his jacket and your dress. That explains why about a week ago Dustin was all of a sudden very much interested in your plans for the prom, asking you all kinds of questions. Although you remained suspicious, in the end you ascribed his odd behaviour to his own excitement of an upcoming junior prom. If only you’d known…

“Thank you,” you whisper and wrap your arms around Eddie, embracing him in a heartfelt hug and squeezing tight. He holds you just as close and his palms rub soothing circles over your back. It doesn’t take too long for your lips to meet, and you rejoice at the tingling sensation across your skin that a mere brush of his lips creates as the air buzzes with electricity.

“Shall we dance?” he questions after a while and bends his head to catch your eye.

“There’s no music playing,” you giggle, leaning back to meet his gaze.

“As if that would stop us,” he chuckles, but turns around, shuffling through the cassettes still lying next to your bed until he finds the one he was looking for. He moves over to your desk and his eyes momentarily fall on your camera. He makes a mental note to take a bunch of pictures later so that he can start his own collection of your photographs. But for now all he wants to do is dance with you. Without further ado, he places the cassette in an empty slot of your stereo, slightly fast-forwards it and hits the ‘play’ button.

The sound of drums and synthesizers fills the space and Eddie holds out his hand, which you gladly take with a wide smile on your face.

Spinning you under his arm, he pulls you in and starts gently swaying from side to side to the slow rhythm of the song. One of your hands that rests on his shoulder creeps up to rub the back of his neck and play with his curls, which earns you a happy grin from him as he squeezes your other hand clasped in his palm. You feel safe and treasured in his arms despite the lack of clothes and you can’t help but raise yourself on your tiptoes to close your eyes and kiss him, lost in the taste of his lips, the warmth of his embrace, the scent of his skin and the swell of the music.

I wanna know what love is

I want you to show me

I wanna feel what love is

I know you can show me

[vvmylove]

Jake as a Bartender🐰

Just a cute little jake thought/drabble

1k words

Y/N heard about the new bar opening in town, and decided it'd be a nice way to get out of the house after dealing with a nasty breakup. After all, rotting in the house probably was counterproductive to healing. So she went there, and was currently being asked for her order by what looked to be a very tall man with messy hair and a bunny butler-like suit.

“May I take your order?” Jake asked, while he was cleaning out a shot glass. A few weeks ago he decided to take on a job, a job that could make him money quick. 

Under the bright disco lights, Y/N couldn't really get a good glimpse of him. It's not like it mattered much anyways. She sat by the bar table, alongside a few other partiers. Tonight was her night, the night where she will throw out her feelings and then forget about that idiot who broke her heart.

"A glass of uh-" She sighs, now lifting her head to look up at the guy. That was when she realized who she was facing. This guy was pretty cute. Tall. Fluffy dark hair. She raises a brow at him, then shakes her head. "What do you suggest?" She asks him, "Something strong tough" she adds. 

“Something strong, you say?” With one swift motion, Jake poured a generous amount of liquor into a shot glass before sliding it to her with an innocent smile. The liquid was a deep red hue. It swirled as it neared the rim of the glass.

“On the house. ” Jake smirked beneath his mask as he awaited her reaction. Whether for better or worse, he was in for a fun night.

Y/N raised her brow at the guy, wondering what his intentions were for the night. She watched as he placed the shot down on the table, studying the dark hue in the cup. It didn't matter anyways, her heart was broken as she took the drink and gulped it down before setting it down. It only took a few seconds before the beverage stung her throat, leaving a sweet but bitter aftertaste in her mouth. She fakely smiles at the guy, "Thanks boo," she dryly chuckles.

“Boo?” Jake was taken aback slightly, though he hid his emotions well. He gave a casual smile back and chuckled a bit as well.

“It’s my pleasure, madam.” He then gave her a look over. She was attractive, but he didn’t let it show as a light tint of pink appeared on his cheeks.

“I assume something happened? Someone break your heart?“ Jake asked as he took a good look at her. He had noticed her gloomy state as soon as he entered the bar. He had seen people walk in and out of the bar, studying them as he saw a pattern. Usually the ones asking for a strong drink had been through some sort of heartbreak.

Y/N chuckles a little, leaning over the counter. Seems like the drink was strong enough to stir something in her as she proceeds with a bold move. She looks up at the guy with a slight smile,

"Unfortunately, so." She sighs, "Doesn't matter though, i'm not going to let him ruin my night," she hints at him. Y/N knew she was pretty, especially tonight. She could finally wear such a revealing outfit, something her ex would never let her wear out of the house.

He looked down at her, noticing the revealing outfit. It wasn’t unusual for people at the club to wear such outfits. Jake couldn't help but become flustered. She had beautiful curves and a charming aura about her that he couldn't resist. The guy in him had a desire to tease. To make her flustered too. The thought alone made him smirk. “He must've been a pretty big idiot to leave such a beautiful woman like yourself. Was he blind?“

Y/N chuckles at his little comment, "The blindest guy ever." She rolls her eyes in annoyance. She takes in a deep breath, continuing to look up at the guy. She removes herself from the counter to properly face him.

"Another drink?" She asks of him, feeling particularly bold tonight. She wanted to continue their conversation somehow, but needed another drink beforehand.

Jake smirked at her, a little excited as this could be a possibility to keep her entertained all night. The chance to make a beautiful woman flustered was something he craved. He liked playing with his food, if you know what he means. He never really had time for himself, never thinking of it as he used to be too busy keeping up with protecting and the expenses of Big Deal. “Don’t mind if I do,” With  an eyebrow raised, he gave her a sly smile as he gave her a once over.

Y/N noticed that he took a quick glance at her, in which she responded with a wink. She smirks, enjoying the little hints of flirting within their exchanges. She sat on the chair, propping her elbows onto the table as she watched the guy make the drink. He was pretty cute, especially in the bunny outfit he wore.

Jake noticed her response to his glance and smirked. This girl really did have some bold energy. He liked that about her. The bunny suit could make for some fun situations later on. As he finished up working on the new drink, he slid it across the counter to her.

“Your drink, madam.“

Whatever thoughts she had was tossed aside as he slid the drink to her. "I can't be drinking alone, can I?" She giggles as her fingers circle the rim of the drink. She stares down at it, before looking back up at him.

“That depends.“

Jake smirked in response, his eyes narrowing as he looked directly into hers with a cheeky grin.

“ How about something even stronger? Something that’ll have you thinking of me all night?“

Y/N’s eyes widened at his remark. Oh he definitely was flirting with her, but who says she wasn't going to follow along? She glances at him with a smirk, lifting the cup off the table.

"Who says I wasn't already thinking about you?" She smiles.

--

(ive never been to a bar before LMAO sorry if its too cheesy)

[lynnedrum]

NORMAL 4 GIRLS 4EVER - LYNNEDRUM'S "SOUND OF THE BEAST" MIX

A tribute to Baltimore and Jersey Club, classic trax deranged and rearranged. Performed LIVE for NORMAL 4 GIRLS 4EVER, Saturday, August 12th, 2023. ~ SETLIST BELOW ~

1.) Crystal Waters - Gypsy Woman (Sartana & Finesse Jersey Remix)

2.) MikeQ & DJ Sliink - The Bitch (feat. Miss Jay)

3.) KRS-One - Sound of da Police (Baltimore Club) (*)

4.) Keiska - Lil Frkk

5.) Three6Mafia - Lil Freak (K-Deucez Rmx)

6.) Mariah Lynn - Once Upon A Time (I Was A Hoe) (DJ Taj feat. Panic Remix)

7.) UNIIQU3 - LSD

8.) Jen Lasher - I Felt

9.) REPRIISE - TEMPLE [Intense Trip]

10.) C.Z. - STUCK

11.) XTV$ x Narvi - Crazy Frog

12.) JAVASCRIPT - Pinky Ring

13.) Drippy Dolphin - ♡-I Need To Drip-♡ (A Trippy Turtle Remix)

14.) Snap - The Power (Kodat Remix)

15.) Jenn Morel - Ponteme (LUNY "Latin Club" Remix)

16.) Constantine - Pena Aberta

17.) PrepTheProducer - Naughty Girl (Jersey Club Remix)

18.) DJ K. Millz & Tokyo - Earthquake

19.) DJ Smallz 732 & Big Shaq - Mans Not Hot ( Jersey Club )

20.) KANDY - afreakin (Eight40Eight Bootleg)

21.) DJ K. Millz - Get Busy [Sean Paul 2k10 Theme]

22.) @hikeii - BBY (@HIKEII FLIP)

23.) Daft Punk - One More Time (Kodat Remix)

24.) FISHER - Losing It (KAYVIAN Club Remix)

25.) Soulja Boy - Birdwalk (Zora Jones & Sinjin Hawke Bootleg)

26.) Jam City - The Courts

27.) TLC - No Scrubs (BBM REMIX)

28.) Kyle Edwards & DJ Bake - My Back (Jersey Club)

29.) SOPHIE - Immaterial (Gangsigns Bootleg)

30.) UNIIQU3 & Dos Flakos - Shake the Room

31.) Outkast - B.O.B. (Cool Hand Lex, Lemi Vice & Action Jackson Remix)

32.) DJ DEVILLE - Kulikitaka Pica (Deville Latin Jersey Club Fusion Edit)

33.) Linkin Park - Crawling (DJ Hood Remix)

34.) Tre Oh Fie - Pop 2 Da Bass

35.) @hikeii - Panic! At The Disco: I Write Sins Not Tragedies (Hikeii Remix)

36.) Utada Hikaru - Simple And Clean (Jersey Club "Ray of Hope" Remix By KNMN)

(*) denotes a track that entered my life fully untagged and unsourced. if you know the artist of this remix, please let me know immediately!

Assets by MinaSheep

NORMAL 4 GIRLS 4EVER (08-12-2023) - OTHER SETS

JulianaNRG: https://youtu.be/l5y442f-uq8

MinaSheep: https://youtu.be/H-JKRNqxQA8

SWIMMY: https://youtu.be/AZkC4W-PP6s

[losnordiquitos]

what do you think swedenpoo would listen to

ive though about this before...! although I dont have any specifics, i think swe's music taste is all over the place, i do think he likes to listen to some obscure metal bands and will be able to list to you 5 billion bands if you were to ask him... i think specifically he likes to listen to it while doing menial tasks like cleaning or other things, I think he listens to europop and disco when he does some more crafty/crative hobbies too...

i dont think he's really one to go to the club very freguently though...

swedenpoo...

[narcosmx]

being amado carrillo fuentes' younger sister would include:

a/n: forehead kisses to the anon who suggested this

okay i love this idea

this idea originated from another request made where dina's bff falls for benjamin

but the idea of being amado's younger sister still had my wheels turning

so when i imagine amado being an older brother to you, he tries his best to be hands off

whether that's because he's too busy or he knows he taught you to be a tough bitch regardless his vibes are like

if you need me to clean up your mess, obvi i will but if you could handle your own shit that would be beautiful

like i talked about before, very gives you money and blesses you because at least someone should be having fun with his money

like i'm just remembering the times amado just looked at his huge ass house in like... disinterest and i see him using you to like live vicariously through your happiness

he might not be excited about the house but seeing you be excited about it is more than enough for him

so i'm just imagining you truly like being unleashed on mexico with whatever you could fucking ask for

truly a menace to society and men across mexico

which i think lends itself well to being best friends with ramon too can you just imagine the lady killer and the man eater teaming up

idk why i get man eater vibes from amado's sister, i just do

okay tell me why i have this situation stuck in my head

amado goes into this fucking night club ready to just like let loose you know

and he's getting a drink, scoping out who he's going to take home that night and right as he's about to swoop in with this one chick

he hears it, he hears a laugh that he would recognize from like 5 miles away

bitch wips his head around and sees you giggling it up in the fucking vip section with this guy

of fucking COURSE you would both fucking end up at the same club

and so he starts like barraling over to where you are, not even to fuck up the guy just to be like "what the fuck this is my place" because sibling dynamics never fucking die

so he comes over and he's giving you a what the fuck look and the guy next to you his eyes go fucKING HUGE

scared shitless that he just made a move on amado's girl and you just like give him a nod and are like "que pasa, hermano"

and he's about to go off on you and he just looks at this terrified dude and shoos him away "quitate, cabron" he like dismisses before taking a seat next to you

"what the fuck are you doing here"

"well not trying to have a good time but i guess you have different fucking ideas"

"this is MY place, i don't want to be taking care of you all night"

and you scoffing and being like "the fuck, then dont? or go find another disco"

i'm just laughing at the idea of like you swearing just as much as your freaking brothers

or or or another idea

okay amado complaining to you about how he's not getting acosta to go along with this fucking plan that he has right, talking about how he doesn't know how he's going to string him along to this

so you take it upon yourself to pay acosta a visit to smooth things over

just picture this as you will

exhausted pissed off amado coming out of his car and approaching acosta's place to be stopped by one of his men and being like "acosta is entertaning right now, he has a woman back there"

amado's like tired of this shit and demands to be taken over

he turns the corner and he sees you and acosta sipping on tequila just fucking laughing it up

and amado is like "what fucking woman, that's my sister"

"ay llego tontin" you greet, acosta fucking bent over laughing and amado is sitting there rubbing his face like what the fuck is happening here

but in the process, acosta is telling amado about how he should've told him he had a much prettier sisters with much better ideas (just amado's ideas repackeged to acosta) LOL

and amado is sitting there like truly what the actual fuck but i will take it

as you're walking out with amado he's like pushing your head in frustration "hoy si te pasaste de verga" he like whisper yells at you before turning back to acosta and being like "thank you" LOLOL

whispers someone tell me who his love interest should be

[strawbs-screaming]

the boxers love languages

this is for the selfshippers again,love u all (i imagined myself in a qpr with tecna from winx club when i was 9 so i understand what selfshippers have going on)

Glass joe - physical touch, hes all for pda and will usually put his hands on your shoulder or use you as a pillow when napping, also a sucker for kissing and cuddling

Von Kaiser - acts of service, hes not the best at expressing himself or showing affection through hugs or kisses so he settles for helping, he'll make coffee or tea for you, wash your clothes, give you a back massage, iron clothes, basically anything to help you

Disco Kid - words of affirmation, he finds himself happier when hes speaking to you and cheering you on, hes good at talking about emotions & hyping people up and likes seeing peoples face light up (yours specifically in this case :3)

King Hippo - quality time, he will take his time to go out of his way to do whatever makes you happy since thats what hes used to, even if you two dont share hobbies or interests he'll join you in what youre doing

Piston Hondo - acts of service, he usually comes off as cold when he simply struggles showing his emotions so he usually settles for showing it through helping you, he'll help you clean up your place, fix up anything broken when you need it, cook, clean and everything inbetween

Bear Hugger - physical touch, hes all for cuddles & kisses, he also loves hugs himself so if youre a fan of cuddling, bear huggers here for you

Great Tiger - giving gifts, he usually overanalyzes people to the point where he can pick out a gift for someone and have them love it, hes also the type to point at things and go "Wait.. They would love that" And proceed to buy it, even though its not on his shopping list

Don Flamenco - physical touch, hes very romantic & suave so hes all for touch, hes very hands on and will hold your waist, put his arm around your shoulder and maybe pepper your face with kisses

Aran Ryan - acts of service, And im not talking "yeah ill do your laundry" here, we're out of malewife territory now, he'll eat someones door if it would cheer you up when youre sad, he would steal a car if you liked how it looked, hes all for it

Soda Popinski - words of affirmation, he can express his love through words pretty well since he was forced to take a writing course when he was little (courtesy of his parents) and the only good that came out of it is him writing in his spare time to pass the time and show love better with his words, hes willing to speak for hours if it means making you happy

Bald Bull - acts of service, since he finds it frustrating to try explain himself through words since he ends up saying nonsense or finding words to explain himself and struggles to show love in other ways since hes not used to it, he'll usually do some chores, make your bed or help you with work

Super Macho Man - giving gifts, since he doesnt know any other proper ways to show love, his parents just tossed cash and gifts at him and called it love so he never really learned how to show affection

Mr Sandman - giving gifts, hes very awkward with words and has a very monotone voice unless hes faking it so his words usually come off as empty, hes suprisingly good at picking out gifts

[soft-for-them]

Dead man dance floor - Tangerine x plus size reader

Summary: You meet Tangerine again on a mission, things don't go to plan for you.

TW: Contains descriptions of blood, minor violence and guns. They're assassins, so yeah, so if you don't like that kind of stuff don't read.

Comments and reblogs are much appreciated and help more people read my works.

A/N: I've written this one Tangerine fic for you feral fuckers now I'm going back to write for darling Lemon. Not proof read.

Blood covers your face, the one rich red liquid turning crusty and brown, your baby hairs stuck to your forehead by the scabbing blood. Your once pale pink houndstooth shirt and lilac high waisted mini skirt with a chunk belt, a disguise that you’ve been wearing for hours now because you needed to infiltrate a disco club stuck in the seventies is utterly ruined, sweat and blood discolouring the fabrics once colourful and soft.

You platform boots a vivid purple made from a shiny plastic are at least salvageable, the crinkled stiff plastic not stained, only the flaking rubber soles that are caked in mud and gravel from having to walk to the club so no one saw you getting out a bullet proof government car.

You’d like to say it isn’t the first time you’ve been coved in blood, sweat and mud but unfortunately it isn’t and it won’t be the last time it will happen again.

At least the blood isn’t yours.

Booming seventies disco tunes still echo around the dancefloor as you peer down at the drug baron at your boots, a bullet straight through his head and red pooling on the elevated light up rainbow dance floor.

As soon as the gun shot rang out everyone scattered, well apart from you and two others.

Your job was a simple one, dance with the slimy baron a bit get him to take you home then strangle him in his own bed for his wife to find him the  next morning go back to your boss and await the next mission.

But as you look up with blood dribbling down your chin you sneer at a familiar man standing behind the baron, his gun still held up and smoking.

Tangerine cleans the gun he’d just fired his eye finally recognising that you’re there.

“What the fuck dude!” you yell your hands flying up in a frustrated motion, “He was mine!”

Tangerine just huffs out a low chuckle as he puts his gun back into his shoulder holster, his bright blue three piece suit unscathed by his pistol bullet entering the brain of the now dead man at your feet.

You don’t bother looking were you’re going as you begin charging over to the cocky Brit, your boots treading on the flared slacks of the dead man, you finger pointing at Tangerine with the anger of a thousand wasps or a teacher who’s finally broken down and begun shouting at her students.

“You could have killed me you dumb fuck.” you’ve known him for too long to go easy on him, Tangerine is like an annoying itch who’s always there, he always knows what buttons to push to make your shimmer in anger whilst Lemon, wherever he is at, does the complete opposite.

You do not care that you’re berating a trained assassin, you could strangle him with you bare hands quite literally if you really wanted too.

“Do you know how bullets work? If it hadn’t exploded his brains all over my outfit. “ you signal down to all the blood and brain matter soaked into your clothing. Tangerine looks you up and down, his eyes lingering on the sliver of exposed thigh in between your boots and hiking up mini skirt that aren’t splattered in red, “Then that bullet would have gone *whoosh* right through my own head.”

“Wish it would love.” Tangerine jests his lingering eyes now connected with yours.

You shove him in the arm, your adrenaline high filled anger slowly ebbing away as the realisation that you’re probably in deep shit because you didn’t kill the dude.

“Kidding! Kidding!” Tangerine jests as your eyes flickers away, your shoulders now hunched down and a concerned look blooming on your face.

A long groan of frustration leaves you lips as you try and wipe away some blood off your face with your sleeve. You step away and turn around, face now fully in your hands.

“Fuck, fuck!” you screams seem louder that the groovy music playing.

You spin around, you boots leaving black smudges on the LED floor, your finger pointing at Tangerine.

“Who the fuck hired you two?”

Tangerine edges closer to you, his once cocky disposition gone. He edges closer to you like you’re a hurt dog and not some special agent used by the UK government to do their dirty work.

“The wife.” Is all that Tangerine says as he bends down to catch your eyes obscured but bloody fingers. Your eyes are watering and red, Tangerine assumes you’ve been scouting this man for way too long, probably for months on end. Looking past the showy outfit and angered outburst you look exhausted.

“Hey, look at me.” He uses a thumb and forefinger to lift your chin up so you’re looking him directly in his eyes, “Look at me (y/n).”

Your lips press together as you try to hold in a sob, a single tears threatening to breach your eyes.

Your boss will kill you.

“Come with me.” Tangerine says in a low but kind voice his forehead leaning against yours as a whimper slips through your lips.

“You can’t protect me, I’ve fucked up too many times. They’ll-he will-“

“Now listen here.” He’s stern, his hands joining up to yours to stop the shaking, “I won’t let that posh prick come ten miles near you, you got it?”

“But-“

“You got it (y/n)?”

You look deeply into his blues eyes that match his vivid suit. There’s no wisp of a lie or any kind of deceit, he actually looks a bit panicked.

“…Got it.” you finally get out, you hand squeezing his back.

[roo-ster-brad-shaw]

Desires in the Dark

A dark mafia romance between Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw and female character

Warnings: Themes of torture, death, swearing, rough sex, sex without consent, kidnapping. Fluff and Smut. Suggested for those above 18 years of age.

Note: You can change the description and note of the fem character to match your needs. Most importantly enjoy reading all you filthy people 😉

Chapter 1

Bradley sighed as he sat down in his club. It had been a very long and exhausting day for him. He removed his Ray Ban sunglasses and closed his eyes. Blood red flashed in his mind. The days events were harrowing but they were nothing compared to what he had been through. He opened his eyes and turned his gaze towards the bar. He knew what would take his mind off this shit- a cold drink and a hot, fuckable chick in bed. He never liked romance with most girls as most of the girls who approached him threw themselves at him, wanting him just for his money and the chance to be seen with a mafia guy. He tried to get up but his bodyguard stopped him from going anywhere.

“C’mon Jeff, don’t be such a dickwad. Just let me get some drinks and I can go home with a pretty one.” He was rolling his eyes by now. Working with this new bodyguard was proving to be a whole lotta pain in the ass than actual protection. But that’s how new bodyguards are- overtly enthusiastic and extra protective- like boys in a new relationship.

“Sir, first of all my name is Jake. Secondly, it’s against protocol.”

“Protocol my ass Seresin”

“Oh, so can remember names, surprising”

“Fuck off Seresin! Just let me blow off some steam!” The nerve of him to talk back! That little runt! Bradley was about to explode by the time he reached the bar and grabbed a stool.

He ordered his usual, his favourite imported bruichladdich x4 quadrupled whisky. It was seriously expensive and only spared for him. Most people would find it stupid to even buy a drink of such an expensive delicacy let alone buy a whole crate of the bottles, but Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw wasn’t a normal person. He was the leader of one of the most powerful mafia gangs of San Diego, California. He could afford the whole company that made these whiskies, but he chose not to. He was a mafia lord not an impulsive idiot who bought whatever he liked. He took his first sip and hummed in response. He always loved how the syrupy textured whisky tasted incredibly clean but still had citrusy and woody notes with those of vanilla.

He began to nurse the liquor and as he took in the surroundings. Bodies grinded against each other in rave like disco lights of the club. People had drinks in their hands and were dancing like animals on the dance floor. These sort of sights no longer fazed Bradley; he was used to such things in high end parties of the elite. His pant pocket vibrated as he downed his second drink.

“Mission complete, we’ve found Brody’s brother’s location” The voice said on the other side.

“Remind me again why we couldn’t just torture those idiots further to get to Brody”

“Rooster, you know why- Brody has shifted his base of operations to France, he’s left his brother in charge of cleaning up any remaining messes here and that’s why he’s left none of his personal bodyguards here.”

“Just blow him up Phoenix! I don’t give two fucks about that son of a bitch! You know I need Brody!”

“Are you drunk?” She asked with the most straight voice ever.

“Absolutely not! What do you think of me?!”

“God, I’ve gotta stop calling you at such points at night. I’m calling Mav”

“You’d better not, Nat! You know I always call him!” He was trying to be stern but his speech was slurring by now.

“You are drunk and out of your mind now Bradley. Let me inform him, you can discuss it in detail tomorrow after I give you the details.”

“Why are you always the pragmatic one?” He questioned with annoyance yet in a baby like wonder of her intelligence.

“Goodnight, Roo. Get some good sleep.” She sighed, almost smiling by now.

“Goodnight.” His words becoming a complete mumbo jumbo and mishmash by now.

He put down the phone and glanced at his surroundings once again, his mind was once again trailing back to the torture session he had conducted before reaching the bar. He had tortured the hell out of the bodyguard of Cody, Brody’s younger brother. He closed his eyes, trying to move on but his mind could not go beyond.

He remembered as he walked into the room followed by his bodyguards. Phoenix stood there brandishing a pair of intricately carved daggers. Bradley had never liked such close combat weapons, they were never his style, but he respected Natasha too much to say anything to her. She had saved his life once, and the way in which she had handled that difficult situation was what had earned her the respect.

“Who do we have here, Phoenix?” He said in a sing-song manner.

“Tora, one of the bodyguards for Cody.”

“So Tora”, Bradley asked while taking the knife from Natasha and twirling it in his fingers, “Where is Cody?”

“I will never tell you!” Tora screamed as he spat blood onto Bradley’s face

“You will pay for that bitch!” Natasha screamed in anger, raising her second knife to stab him

“Stop, Nat!” Bradley screamed

“Why the fuck should I?! This bitch had the nerve to spit at you! He shall suffer!”

“Nat, calm down. Let me have my revenge.”

Bradley called for Jake “Hangman, hand me my tools please”

“Gladly, sir” Jake replied as he handed Bradley a black bag

“Now you will suffer runt” Bradley said smirking at Tora. He slowly stepped closer to him, whispering in his ear while holding him in place by fisting his hair “I will make you suffer so badly that you will beg for death. And I will eventually grant you that gift but not before you give me the necessary information regarding the location of Cody”

Tora turned pale seeing the smile on Bradley’s face as he steeped away from him. He knew there was no escaping the pain, this was a sadistic man who enjoyed giving pain to others.

Bradley’s ears rang with the screams of Tora as he begged for mercy while Bradley tortured him in various ways. He hated the voices in his head, he wanted them to stop, he wanted relief. His white in shirt was soaked with his sweat as his eyes shot open. He shook his head, now feeling like a child being made to watch a Saw movie, and headed towards the washroom. He could feel Hangman trailing him but he chose to ignore him. He entered the washroom and grunted at the couple making out inside. The woman turned towards him and raised her brows in irritation. His eyes narrowed his eyes to slits and realisation dawned on her. She rushed out with her man in tow. He washed his face and looked into the mirror. He sighed, feeling the weight lifting off his shoulders. He wiped his face as he prepared to head home for the day.

As he was exiting the restroom, he felt someone bump into him. It was a girl and she had spilled her pretty purple and pink cocktail all over his white in shirt, he quickly realised. He wanted to scream at her, to push her away! How dare she be so careless with the owner of the club! His anger melted away in an instant as she looked up at him with her deep brown eyes.

Her warm, doe-like, sweet eyes bore into his hazel and cold ones as he could see the fear in them. The alcohol on her breath was easily noticeable. She was dark-skinned and had straight dark brown, almost black hair. Her strong perfume mixed with her angelic features intoxicated his senses. He looked down her almost 5’ 5” frame. She was petite and chubby, but that only added to her cute and teddy-bear-like features. She wore a pretty knee-length lilac dress, definitely not suited for a club setting but the sheer components of the dress coupled with her soft, almost no-makeup makeup look added to her charm. She was breadth of fresh air amongst the girl always vying for his attention.

“I am so sorry, sir” She spoke in an accent that was almost between and Indian and American accent, almost as if she wanted to emulate an American one.

“It’s fine. What’s your name?” He asked gruffly, lost in her deep eyes as he caged her warm, tiny body in his arms.

“It’s Aditi, sir” She said as she averted her gaze, suddenly more interested in her black heels.

“You from around here?”

“Not really”

“Where you staying tonight?”

That was quite forward of him, she thought as she replied, “At one of my friend’s places”

He could see the puzzled look on her face as she gave her response. “Now, how are you gonna pay for ruining my perfectly good and terribly expensive Armani shirt?”

“I’m really sorry, sir. But I’m just a college student, I can’t afford such things”

“How about you pay me back in a different way, perhaps a spend a night with me?”

“Sir, I can’t do that. I’m really sorry.” She apologised a lot Bradley realised. He sighed. He was used to girls complying with him, this one was different.

“Then I guess I’m gonna have to cash in my favour some other time?”

“I suppose so” She mumbled

“But the favour I’ll cash in then, will be much more expensive as I charge a heft interest”

“I can’t help it, sir. My body isn’t something to be used as payment. My time on the other hand is. Afterall, time is money.”

He smirked. This one is shy yet bold, he thought. “Alright. Join me for dinner tomorrow.”

“Okay” She mumbled again

“Goodnight” He whispered into her ear as his nose nuzzled against her soft chocolate like skin. Her skin smelled like a chocolate bar and the deep floral perfume she wore mage him feel like he wanted to eat her right then and there.

He walked away with a bulge in his pants. He needed relief. He scanned the crowd for a girl. Once he found a skimpily dressed girl, he approached her, doing the usual act of charming her by making her press against his 6 feet body as she swayed her hips, unabashedly. He whispered in her ears, “My place tonight, baby”, as he felt her knees go weak. He threw her over his shoulder and carried her to his car.

Jake was sulking nearby when he saw Bradley headed for the exit. He rushed after him, cursing his boss under his breadth for not informing him of his departure. By the time he reached the car, he saw Bradley dump a girl into the back seat. He quickly occupied the driver’s seat as he heard Bradley order him to take them home. Jake promptly obeyed as he drove the car out of the parking lot. He rolled his eyes when he heard the needy sounds of the girl as Bradley kissed her pulse point. Something he noted as he moved the rear-view mirror in an attempt to avoid breaching the couple’s privacy was that Bradley never kissed her lips. He kissed her body in a needy manner but never her lips. He found this behaviour utmost strange. But then, when a man can flirt with more than one girl in the span of less than an hour and attempt to take both of them home while doing so, could any of his behaviours be called less than strange?

Bradley lifted the girl, bridal style as he took her to his bedroom. The girl was partially undressed with her cleavage generously displayed for him to ogle at. As her threw her onto his bed, he quickly undressed himself and then proceeded to undress the woman in front of him. He then began to leave kisses down her neck, reaching her breasts, stomach and then finally reached her wetness. He began to feast on her as he used his tongue expertly while his fingers rubbed her clit. She was a moaning mess screaming his name. Bradley closed his eyes and imagined touching Aditi till she was moaning his name. As he absentmindedly began to finger the woman, his mind drifted to Aditi. How his name would fall from those pretty cherry lips of hers, how she would thread her fingers through his silken locks, how he would come back up to give her a taste of her arousal on his lips and how while doing so he would brush her dark hair away from that full-moon like face of hers. Fuck, he needed her.

As the pain from his hardness brought him back to reality, he heard the woman saying how she was near and needed him to come in her. He rolled his eyes and reached his hand over to his night stand. He opened one of the drawers to procure a condom, protected sex was always safe, specially when dealing with one-night stands. He slipped the rubber on to his shaft as he entered the woman. He grabbed a pillow and put it on the woman’s shoulder as he buried his head into it. He imagined his Aditi’s beautiful moans as he made love to her, not fucked her like he was currently doing to this woman. He wanted to bury his head into her neck and smell her cocoa skin. He imagined the smell of her perfume mixed with her moisturizer that she had worn tonight. Ugh, he needed to be near her again. As he came inside her, he rested in her for a few more moments before pulling out to switch positions. He made her sit on top of his lap as she buried her head into the crook of his neck. He yanked her head away as he pulled her hair. He then entered her as she arched her back. He began to massage one of her nipples and sucked the other one, then vice-versa. As he jerked of inside her, still wearing his condom, he removed himself from her and disposed off his condom.

He then got up from the bed as he heard her whimper, “Are you not gonna stay in bed, Rooster?”

“Absolutely not. I’m gonna take a hot shower and you better wear your dress and get the fuck out of my bed before I return. My bodyguard will be waiting downstairs for you. He’ll drop you home.”

“And if I’m not gone, then what will you do? Punish me?” She was trying to be sexy by batting her eyelashes at him but he was not in the mood.

“Yep babydoll, I will punish you by putting this gun into your mouth and pulling the trigger, so start getting the fuck off.” He said with a smile on his face and venom dripping from his voice.

The woman still did not believe him until she saw the gun he was holding in his hand. She swallowed and quickly got up from the bed and grabbed her dress as she exited the room. Bradley sighed as he messaged Jake from his phone. He then proceeded to head into his bathroom and took a scalding hot shower to make himself feel sleepy. Even then she plagued his thoughts, his beautiful Aditi. He imagined washing her all throughout as aftercare for their intense love making sessions. He came out of his reverie and exited the bathroom after partially drying himself yet his head still having beads of water clinging to beachy hair. He dried himself completely as he imagined drying her off, tying her hair with a towel to naturally dry her dark hair. He then grabbed a thick pillow, fell face first into the bed, then readjusted his position while burying his head into the side of the pillow, imagining how it would be to bury his head in the crook of her neck. He switched the AC to a chilly 16 degrees and grabbed his comforter as his eyes drooped and he fell into a deep, nightmare-less sleep.

Chapter 2

[hometoursandotherstuff]

I have no idea where this is, but it must be somewhere in the UK, b/c I found it on a UK Urban Exploration site. It’s some sort of club and it is nasty. Doesn’t look like they ever cleaned it, before it was abandoned. I hope you enjoy snooping around.

To the person who wonders if I’m being sarcastic or naïve, I’m using language that Tumblr won’t pick up on, b/c they’ve deleted some of my stuff in the past.

This place is huge and on several levels.

There are narrow rooms with yucky mats and holes in the wall. 

In this room, you would stand, I guess- the lower hole is higher. They seem to be in odd positions. What if you don’t line up? Notice the oil on the wood from people’s faces. Ewwww. 

This looks like a fun room.

 What fun, a dice game.

So, there were specific nights for couples, singles, etc.

Large black room with a soft floor.

Time to hit the shower.

Was this the shower? 

One of the cleaner rooms.

This must be the dungeon. 

Weird narrow pool.

Now, we’re in the basement.

Here I would imagine only half a person fits, but why are they so close?

More holes in the walls. Look at the crude cuts they made.

Handy paper towels.

You have to be respectful of other patrons.

Steam room?.

Splintery looking sauna.

So, this must be the bar.

Disco with entertainment. 

On your way out, don’t forget to check the Lost & Found.

via Hidden Midlands

[fan-mans]

Do you think the boxers have hobbies outside of boxing? (knitting, crocheting, making bracelets, etc)

Oh hell yeah!!

Joe: baking, cooking, sewing, video games, embroidery, reading, watching esoteric movies, dancing, practicing piano and accordion, anything vampire related, writing fanfic

Kaiser: repairing old machines (Particularly clocks), driving, hiking, camping, fishing, researching history, mountain biking and biking in general

Disco: dancing, messing around with music, clubbing, going to concerts, going down youtube rabbit holes (Particularly for lost meda and drama), exploring esoteric thrift stores, boxercise

Hippo: going down linguistic rabbit holes, learning languages, media preservation, reading audiobooks, surfing, swimming, playing with makeup, collecting stamps and hot wheels

Hondo: reading manga, watching anime, running, cooking (especially exploring sushi recipes), arguing with strangers online about the existence of area 51 and aliens, practicing pac man at the arcade, yoga

Bear: hanging out with his animal friends, hiking, going to fairs, woodcarving, hockey, playing minecraft, reading tvtropes pages, going to his wielding club, cooking

Tiger: Making music, napping, playing card games, going on quotev and uquiz for fun quizzes, playing chess and checkers, watching mlp, watching video essays on tv shows he's never watched

Don: gardening, dancing, looking at carmen, spending time with carmen, thinking about carmen, cooking, playing with makeup, looking up aesthetic posts on instagram, making moodboards for all his socials, redecorating the house with carmen

Aran: painting, knitting, making cursed objects, drawing, sculpting (Especially with metal and clay), pulling pranks, running around with his dog, testing the american legal system, horse riding, reading creepypasta, babysitting

Soda: Going out to parks and libraries and making friends, making new flavors of soda, practicing flute, listening to podcasts (Mostly mystery ones), practicing flute, researching chemistry, ice skating

Bull: Cleaning, puzzles, going to museums, researching art and art history, scrapbooking, sleeping, sand art, making mosaics, making oragami, taking care of his pet bulls, making bracelets, reading webcomics

Macho: surfing, swimming, wrestling, going to aquariums, going to water parks, modeling, acting, playing in bands, cooking, watching makeup tutorials

Sandy: video games, looking up outfits on pinterest, playing piano, volunteering, going to his bookclub, reading, playing with his dogs, collecting dolls (large ones), watching drama channels on youtube

Mac: Collecting baseball, digimon, and pokemon cards, watching the pokemon and digimon anime, playing pokemon games, researching baseball, watching baseball, working out, playing mario cart, breakdancing, going to restaurants and taste testing their burgers, watching documentaries

[artisticlegshake]

THE DANCE AWARDS LAS VEGAS RESULTS 2023

JUNIOR BALLET:

1st Flames of Paris – CLUB

1st The Power Of Percussion – THE ROCK

2nd On The Edge – DC2

2nd Strauss! – NEXT STEP

3rd Divertimento in D - CSPAS

4th La Danza – CSPAS

5th Aurora’s Friends – EXPRESSENZ

JUNIOR CONTEMPORARY:

1st Heist – EXPRESSENZ

1st What Good Am I – DC2

2nd Remove Me From Myself – DANCEOLOGY

3rd Hold Your Own – LARKIN

4th Architect of the Mind – THE ROCK

5th I Stand Alone – LARKIN

JUNIOR LYRICAL:

1st Dream On – NEXT STEP

2nd In Waves – BUNKER

3rd All I Am – CSPAS

3rd Clean – CLUB

4th Finally Home – EXPRESSENZ

5th Falling Slowly – DC2

JUNIOR JAZZ:

1st Disco Drum – LARKIN

2nd Let’s Work – KIM MASSAY

3rd Livin’ For Love – NEXT STEP

4th Icon – DC2

5th Check – DC2

JUNIOR MUSICAL THEATRE:

1st I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here – EXPRESSENZ

2nd Song and Dance Man – THE ROCK

2nd Take Off With Us – LARKIN

3rd One – DC2

4th You Can’t Stop The Beat – NEXT STEP

5th Sing, Sing, Sing – CLUB

JUNIOR TAP:

1st Din Da Daa – THE DYNAMIC

2nd Eleanor Rigby – THE DYNAMIC

2nd Speaking In Taps – DANCEOLOGY

2nd Tomorrow – NEXT STEP

3rd Puttin’ On The Ritz – LARKIN

4th Uptown Funk – THE DYNAMIC

5th Green Onions – BUNKER

JUNIOR HIPHOP:

1st Phresh Off The Runway – NEXT STEP

2nd Ball Out – DC2

3rd Lean Back – LARKIN

4th RayZ – EXPRESSENZ

5th Mo Milly – CLUB

JUNIOR SPECIALITY:

1st Kiss Kiss – DC2

2nd Black Box – LARKIN

2nd Stumble Along – THE DANCE KOLLECTIVE

3rd Boombastic – ARTISTIC DANCE PROJECT

4th Feeling Groovy – THE ROCK

5th I Saw A Face – THE DANCE KOLLECTIVE

JUNIOR BALLROOM:

1st The Rhythm Section – DC2

2nd Drive – CSPAS

3rd The Great Gatsby – NEXT STEP

4th Bang Bang – DANCEOLOGY

5th Sweet Dreams – BUNKER