dhanix-blog

[thatnonameuser]

The Red King holds a Bleeding Head

A Wonderland of Yanderes - Masterlist Chapter 1. Heartslaybul Part 7.

This place can get fucked.

No, seriously. You’re seriously starting to hate this place.

You’ve been hanging on one of your last threads of self control for the last day. And really, it’s fraying so fast that you can feel your muscles twitch from the lingering stress in your body boiling over into anger.

But you’ll bite your fucking tongue bloody to make reason and maybe correct this. 

You’re not confident that'll happen though.

“W-Wait! You can’t just throw them out over a tart! We’ll just take it and go!” You try to make him see reason but so far, reason is the last thing this world sees. After all, if it did, you wouldn’t be so terrified of Ace and Deuce. And yes, you’re only defending them because the sooner this mess is over, the sooner you can actually sleep tonight. But still, this is completely outrageous. 

But since this dorm’s rules come straight from the loony bin from a tyrannical dictator that got what she deserved in the end, and the person enforcing them is about as oppressive megalomaniac as the inspiration…what the hell were you expecting?!

“Yeah! If you want the tart gone, let me eat it!” Grim makes a dash for the tart, but all it takes is for an angry glare from Riddle for one of those terrified card soldiers to quickly take it and throw it out. Isn’t that just great? All that hard work for nothing.

For the first time since this mess started, Trey takes responsibility for messing up Ace’s apology, and sending his dorm leader into a tizzy. “Dorm Leader, allow me to apologize. I was the one who suggested making a chestnut tart!” 

Thankfully, Cater takes a little responsibility too, considering he was the one that caused this tea party to turn into a mess. “I was a part of that too. We had no idea there was a rule about it!”

But Riddle’s just as uncompromising as he was at lunch yesterday. “The making of the tart is not the issue. The issue is bringing it HERE. Today. THAT is the transgression!”

“We were going to bring it earlier, it’s just we were unexpectedly..” You grind that out as you glare at Cater for that stupid detour, “distracted! How can you be so mean and uncompromising after he worked so hard! You have to think it’s at least a little stupid to live by these foolish rules!”

“Yeah! All you do is cite one stupid rule after another! You sound totally foolish!” Yes! Thank you Ace! At least someone else disagrees with this complete insanity.

Riddle’s face goes from angry to furious, “What did you just call me? ‘Foolish?!’” 

Cater grabs you and Ace by your arms to pull you both away from the rising argument, “Everyone, stop! Don’t dig this hole any deeper! And Riddle, please try to remember that these are new students who’ve only been here a few days!” but you wretch your arm away. You already know that Riddle hates excuses IN apologies, and you’re not apologizing to this self-righteous pain in your ass.

Thankfully, Ace doesn’t buy the BS being spat out right now, “Nah, bro. I’ve got a shovel and I am DIGGING. Throwing away a tart to obey some insane rule is about as foolish as it gets.” 

“I agree with Ace. Of course, I understand that rules do need to be followed, but…This is going much too far.” Deuce is on your side too, thank the seven. Someone else isn’t going to stand idly by for this fever dream.

“Too far is an understatement.”  You say point-blank. “You’re acting like a crazy person over a tart! You can't deny that you're being foolish!”

Riddle’s angry glare falls on you “A person like you has no right to tell me what is and isn't foolish!” 

Is he referring to you? And why is he- “Though I can't say I'm not surprised by your reaction, considering how your kind tends to act” Oh no.

To the ears of others you hope that they think that he's saying that you're just a troublemaker, but you know that he thinks otherwise. Because he already knows you're a darling. And he knows that you know that. 

Which means that if he wanted to, he could reveal who you really are to anyone within earshot. Which is especially bad considering that Ace and Deuce are already suspicious of you.

This isn’t good…..

Maybe you should shut up for now.

Probably satisfied that he shut you up, he receptors his focus and rage back on Ace. “And you…Are you attempting to debate me? Bold move, but I’ll bite. By breaking even the smallest rule, you are throwing wide the gate to anarchy.”

You feel the urge to point out the obvious about how insane he's acting over a tart, but instead you bite your tongue. 

Regardless though, Ace is there to say what you can't. Now very fed up, Ace gestures to the silent audience to this ‘debate’.. “Everyone, I know you’re afraid of getting your magic sealed away, but you know this is insane, right?”

But instead of speaking their minds, all of them jolt at being put on the spot, fidgeting and squirming in fear of the dorm leader's wrath. “N-No, we, uh….”

Some actually look like they’re willing to speak up against Riddle’s leadership, but whatever attempts at resistance there are in the crowd, they are squashed as soon as Riddle’s angry glare is set upon them. “Well? Isn’t it?”

“Far from it, Dorm Leader Riddle, sir!” One brave/cowardly soul says from the crowd and the bystander effect comes into effect full force. Because as soon as that one person gets his words out, the other card soldiers follow suit. “We trust in your judgment, sir!”

Once again, it’s just like your dream with the card soldiers standing idly by next to their fellow cards’/ dormmates’ abuse. You hate your dreams, stupid bad omens. Stupid self-serving card soldiers…

“You little…”

“You spineless, fair-weather cowards…” Ace mutters at the betrayal of his dormmates and fellow victims.

Now probably overconfident from the residents’ denial of his tyranny, Riddle starts some spiel. “In the year since I became Dorm Leader, not a single student from Heartslabyul House has dropped out or been held back a year. We are the only house that can boast such a feat. Furthermore, of everyone in this dorm, I have the best academic standing.” Whatever point Riddle’s getting to, his statements aren’t really the proof he thinks it is, just because they’re still here doesn’t mean they aren’t planning to leave. Also, doesn’t the fear of failure push you to break the rules to avoid failing?

“What does that have to do with anything?” You Someone can be super smart and still be very wrong.

He pauses in his tirade, speaking slowly, like you're a child incapable of understanding what he’s saying. “Hence I am the most correct! If you would simply obey me without question, we wouldn’t need to contend so.” Okay, rude. You bite your tongue to stop yourself from offending him further, but seven only knows you want to.

“Listen, we-” 

Riddle interrupts Deuce, isn’t there a rule about interrupting someone while they speak? “It’s not off with their heads because ‘I’ want to do that. I do it because rules must never be broken.”

Still completely pissed about the fact that you might have In the corner of your eye, you see Trey cross his arms looking guilty. There has to be something wrong between the two of them. Because what Trey wouldn’t defend Riddle so much  and then not tell him when he’s wrong if there wasn’t something strange or tense between them. 

“If you will not obey me, then I will have all of your heads!” This isn’t just being a control freak, this is being a total dictator. Even some of the most overbearing control freaks can understand that mistakes are a human characteristic.

Cater intervenes again, to play peacemaker, “Okay, let’s all say, “Yes, Dorm Leader Riddle.” and screw that. Revelations be damned, you can't just agree with him because you're scared about what he'll do. That'll make you no better than the others staying silent.

“I can’t.” Deuce 

“Me neither.” You cross your arms in indignation. “What you’re doing is just unfair.”

“Yeah, ____ we don’t bow to self-important tyrants!”

Riddle’s cheeks turn red as his anger grows.

“What did you just call me?” 

“He called you what you are. A tyrant.” You repeat, what you're doing is very risky but still he can stay mad about it. Darling or not, you're not going to leave this alone.

“Yeah Henchman’s right! You wanted to destroy good food just ‘cause you’re throwin’ a tantrum!”

“Guys, I don’t think we need to escalate this-” It’s much too late for that. Because before Deuce can finish his sentence….

“Off! With! Your! Heads!” 

There’s a flash of light and in seconds there’s a tight pressure around your neck. You cough in surprise and “Aw shit.” There’s a collar like Ace’s around your neck. And Deuce and Grim are wearing them too. Why? Speaking your mind isn't against the rules!

Still boiling mad, he spits orders like the tyrant he is. “Trey! Cater! Eject them from the premises!”

For the two very lively people they were, they immediately turn to the reluctant drones that the other card soldiers are once Riddle starts yelling at them, “...Yes sir, Dorm Leader.”

You shrug Trey's hand of your shoulder and glare at him in distaste. He doesn’t want to meet your eyes 

“You’re supposed to be our ‘mentors’!” Ace objects vehemently at the betrayal. And all the two can do is spill empty apologies. 

“Sorry, but we can’t disobey our dorm leader!” 

“Sorry, man..”

They  were fine with it yesterday. Glad to know that was all for nothing.

“Oh, that’s how it’s gonna be? Then bring it on!” Somewhere in this conversation, Ace must have forgotten that everyone about to be thrown out either had no magic to begin with, or can’t cast it thanks to the stupid collars. So obviously, they get trounced. It was kind of sad really.

Before Trey pulls you out, you yell at Riddle “Hey Rosehearts! I don't have magic. Take the collar off!” It’s already unfair that Deuce and Grim got one for questioning his authority, you getting one is just cruel and unusual punishment. 

He gives you a snide look, “Perhaps you should wear it for a while too. Since you seem to have forgotten it, it might help to properly remind you of your place.”

 This little…..

Trey and Cater kick you out before you can paint Riddle’s ears with the full capacity of your swear dictionary.

So. Now what?

“I'm gonna kill him.”

“_____-”

“No, Deuce, no, I’m serious.” It’s one thing to saddle Ace and Deuce with you for another fucking night, but then to collar you, an non-magic user, just because he got butt hurt. You hope someone chops off his head to see how he likes it. 

Though now that you think about it, you really feel bad for the darling he’s meant to have in this world. If he’s this strict over a tiny thing like a tart then there’s no telling what he’ll flip the hell out for. You’d hate to be them.

“Stop, tryna be an honor student about this Juice. She’s right, we should just kill him. We can get away with it.”

“See, Deuce. Listen to Ace, we might just get a parade for ridding the dorm of that menace.” You don’t really want to encourage them to murder, but you’re pissed and the twerp deserves it. 

“Yeah, even without my magic I’ll kick that guy’s butt so hard that he’ll regret collaring the Great Grim for the rest of his life.”

So you were all kicked out thirty minutes ago. And here you all are in the rose maze, with the music of the unbirthday party in the background. All of you had collars on your necks, and you were really pissed about this nonsense if you couldn’t tell already.

With you no longer there to be the voice of reason, because you were fuming, Deuce was trying to calm your bloodlust before you do something you might regret. 

Which you probably might, if you keep encouraging Ace to kill someone. 

You take a deep breath, or seven, before finally sighing in defeat. “Ugh. We probably shouldn’t kill anyone.”

“But-”

“We really shouldn’t kill anyone Ace.” You finally say,

Ace huffs in displeasure. “Fine. Still, who does he think HE is, the Queen of Hearts?” Ace kicks over one of the empty paint cans in his rage.

“Probably, Ace.” You tug at your shirt to give yourself more room to breathe. This stupid thing is super claustrophobic no wonder Grim hates it. 

Speaking of, “Stupid collar! It’s so tight! GRrr!” Grim fights with the collar for the umpteenth time, and you sigh.

“We should probably go see Crowley. If Riddle will listen to someone, it’ll probably be him.” You huff, things just keep going downhill-

A voice pops up from the ether. “You’re really racking up those collars. Quite the impressive collection.”

“Who-?” You jump at the sound of a new voice, scanning the hedges and rose bushes for a source-”AH!”

“BWAH?!”

It’s a head, a floating head in the middle of the garden! Seriously, who did a line of cocaine before making this world! 

“Myah! A ghost head!” Grim freaks the hell out, retreating into the safety of your arms, his fur standing up on end. 

The head tilts to the side, one of his ears twitching,  before looking down, “Oh dear. It seems I’m not all here.” He laughs as the rest of his body fades into view. Oh, it’s magic. Thank goodness. You breathe a sigh of relief. 

“What? Er, so you do have a body, then?” Deuce’s brain finally catches up to the shock he’s just seen. “Who are you?”

“The name’s Artemiy Artemiyevich Pinker.” …….Wha? Forget the other names so far, did his parents have a stroke writing his name? He circles you all while starting a confusing spiel. “As for what I am….Am I a cat? Am I a purrrson? A mimsy borogrove, perhaps? A mome rath with a knack for magic?” 

Great riddles. You already had an infuriating run in with the human Riddle, now you had to deal with the non-human kind. Wonderful. “Your name is…Artem- Could you say that again please?” 

He laughs, with a cheshire smile, “People usually just call me Chenya. And let’s just say I’m not from the other side of the looking glass.” …..The hell does that mean? Is he from here? Or not? Either way, like everyone else here, he’s very weird.

“Yet another weirdo…” you mutter. You’re starting to wonder how in the hell Alice didn’t lose her mind in wonderland. 

He must’ve heard you but he doesn’t take offense, instead he gets up close and personal, stopping right before your noses touch. “You think so? I’d say by the standards here, I’m no more mad than anyone else.”

Ace pulls you away from Art- Artemi- Chenya, by your arm and asks you as Chenya the other question that was on your mind. “Uh…what dorm are you from?”

He hums a laugh. “Why don’t you try to guess?” The animal ears remind you of Savanaclaw, but he’s not dressed in any yellow. 

Grim takes the opportunity to display his intellect, “Oh, I know! He’s got animal ears, so you gotta be from….uh…Bananaclaw, was it?” No, wait a second, his uniform doesn’t even look like NRC’s. Does he even go here?

“Bzzzt! Incorrect. Bananas grow on trees, do they not? I, on the other hand, am a cat.” He reminds you of someone, just who exactly are you thinking of….

Deuce contemplates the question at hand. “And besides, other dorms have students with animal ears, too.”

Ace, on the other hand, is still pissed. “After that insanity that teapot tyrant put me through, I’m not in the mood for whatever this is. Just leave us alone.” 

His ears twitch at the mention of a tyrant. “Riddle the teapot tyrant…Heh Heh. Well, I can’t dismiss that perspective as wrong.” He knows Riddle? Wait, you never mentioned Riddle. “He’s always been quite strict.”

“How did you know we were talking about Riddle? And do you know something about him?” You ask.

Chenya doesn’t answer, giving you that ear-to-ear grin, “Perhaps there are things that I know, and perhaps there are things that I don’t.” Yay….confusing riddles.

“That’s not an answer!” Grim objects.

Still smiling and still laughing, Chenya asks “Is there something you wish to know about Riddle?”

“Yeah, what created such a control freak?”

Chenya tilts his head in thought at Ace’s question, tapping his chin with a finger. “I believe his four-eyed friend may have the answer.” Wait, Trey? Also, Riddle has friends?

“Four-eyed friend? You mean Trey?” Deuce asks.

“He’s known Riddle since we were all little boys. If you want to know more about Riddle, I would begin my quest there.” Well that was uh, helpful. But if they all have known each other, why is Riddle so uncaring to Trey? If they’re supposed to be friends, they don’t act like it. 

“They’re childhood friends? I didn’t get that impression.”

“Me neither,” You agree, “Could have fooled me, I didn’t think Riddle had any friends.”

Chenya laughs, his body starting to turn translucent“If you’re so perceptive, then what are you asking me for? Buh-bye!”

“Hey! Wait!” You try to stop him from disappearing, but Chenya only laughs before his head vanishes.

Well, that was something.

“I tell ya, no one makes any sense around here.” You nod in agreement. Nothing makes sense here.

Well, if talking to Trey will clear this whole thing up, then you need to speak with him soon. And from the sounds of music in the garden. That won’t be for a while.

“We should wait to speak with Trey, and then..”

Ace interrupts Deuce. “If you’re gonna say “Apologize to Riddle,” you can forget it!”

“I don’t think you should. Riddle’s clearly in the wrong here. But we might have some trouble speaking with Trey if he’s still in the dorm we’re kicked out of. But…”

“We might have to set up a little ambush…” Ace and Deuce don’t disagree, in fact Deuce is cracking his knuckles in preparation. 

Now all you need to do is plan and wait.

“Hello Trey.”

Your group of four hadn’t exactly figured out what to do after Chenya told you about Trey and Riddle’s childhood friendship. Being banned from Heartslabyul and then watching another unfortunate student get thrown out minutes later with a magic collar around their neck told you that going in to find him wasn’t going to end well.

It was luck that you noticed Trey's tart cookbook yesterday, and even luckier that you remembered he probably hadn’t returned it already. 

So you all staked out the library until he came back after the unbirthday party. Which Trey thankfully came alone for because you needed  him to trauma dump on Riddle’s past very hard.

“You four!” He doesn’t seem surprised to see you. This must happen a lot.

“We figured that if we waited at the library, you’d show up to return your tart cookbook eventually.” Actually you figured that part out. You just thought you’d let Deuce be the one to say it, he’s had a rough day with his honor student problem.

“We still got a problem with the way Dorm Leader Riddle is handling all of this.” Ace has more than a problem with this, considering you had to calm him down enough to even have this conversation.

Trey shakes his head in exhaustion. “Yeah, I thought you might say that.” The more you hear about this the more you think that Trey was just hoping the problem would go away on its own.

Ace thankfully gets straight to the point.“Come clean with us. What’s your take on Riddle? Is it true you’ve been pandering to him since the two of you were kids?” 

Trey recoils like he’s been struck across the face. “What?! Who told you that?”

“A Chenya popped up in the garden and explained the whole thing.” You say.

He sighs in exasperation. “Chenya…Huh. That explains it.” 

“What I don’t get is, aren’t you older than Riddle? Why haven’t ya told him off already?”

“Grim’s right. If you’re supposed to be friends then why don’t you say something. If you’re friends, he might listen to you!” Trey better have a good reason for letting this get as bad as it did. Because he probably could have stopped this way earlier if he just did as Grim said.

“I do when I need to. I don’t think the situation calls for it.”

Well, that’s a load of BS right there. “No offense Trey, but are you blind?!” You’re done being reasonable about this. He needs to hear this as it is. “He’s ruling over your dorm with an iron fist, collaring anyone that slips up even on accident, and the situation doesn’t call for it?! How can you call yourself his friend if you aren’t telling him when he’s enforcing rules like he’s a tyrant!”

Trey shakes his head and averts your eyes. If he feels ashamed then good. This could have-“Because these sorts of strict rules…They’re what created Riddle.” -been…avoided…?

“I don’t follow.” You say.

You knew that Riddle probably had some serious trauma to make him the way he is, but as you were expecting he did.

As Trey was kind enough to inform you, Riddle’s mother was one of those mom’s who pushed her legacy onto her kids, and wouldn’t give them an inch unless they met her incredibly and unfairly high standards. 

A childhood scheduled down to the last possible second sounded awful, and because kids are biologically inclined to care for their parents, Riddle did as was expected of him. But to have no freedom of choice your entire life, because of your mother’s rules, no wonder he followed rules so strictly, it was all he ever knew.

But still he had to rebel at least once, find fun in something outside the heavy rules that constricted around his life, after all he was no perfect child, he was only human.

“I can’t even imagine how hard he must’ve had it.”

“That…” It’s horrible that his mother messed him up that bad, but it isn’t just her fault anymore…Now Riddle’s, as he’s now being his own worst enemy and he’s not even aware of it. And even worse, the most unfortunate part of this was that this horrible childhood gave you the upside that at the very least this was proof that even with this society’s ridiculous laws and beliefs, life wasn’t perfect. And to be honest, to you that doesn’t sound like a victory. “That sounds horrible.”

Trey nods, “Riddle sees the enforcement of strict rules as a service to his dorm members. In his eyes, being bound by rigid guidelines by fear- is a fast track to personal growth.”

“But he has to know that’s not the same for everyone,” You point out, “either you make them ‘better’ or you teach them to break the rules without anyone noticing.” You’re not an expert on this, but you’re pretty sure this won’t end the way Riddle wants it to, which adds an extra edge of sadness to this downward spiral Riddle’s unknowingly put himself in.

Trey shakes his head, and he keeps talking even though he sounds so pained,“He might but, it was that strictness was what worked for him. And on the flip side, he sees the violation of those rules as an inexcusable offense.”

“I guess that makes sense, since rules made him who he is.” At least Ace is able to understand that Riddle’s situation sounds terrible to grow up in. 

“Look, I totally get why you see Riddle as a tyrant, and why you disapprove of his methods. But for me…I can’t hold that against him, you know?” Trey may be right in thinking Riddle is a delicate situation to handle, as no one would like being told their childhood was emotionally abusive and they didn’t notice, but that doesn’t make this okay.

Being oppressive over people that don’t share your ideals isn’t okay no matter what childhood you have.

“Myah…”

“So that’s why he’s like that.”

Deuce and Grim might not have been able to pick up on what you have, but this isn’t a reason for Riddle’s madness. 

It’s an excuse for why Trey hasn’t done anything.

“All right, now I get it.” Ace says finally. “It’s YOUR fault Riddle’s like this.” So he understands it the same way you do.

“What?!”

“I agree with Ace. This IS your fault, Trey. Sure, he had a hard childhood. But you’ve known that what his mother did to him was wrong and you let him repeat it, because you’re too afraid to stop him.”

“_____’s right. You’re going easy on him because he had it rough as a kid? Don’t you see where that’s leading? You’re letting him make a pariah out of himself!”

Deuce tries to shut Ace up before he offends their upperclassman, “Ace, man, come on…”

But Ace ignores him. “So why don’t you say something? Are you just afraid you’ll ‘lose your head’ too? That’s pathetic! You guys are supposed to be childhood friends?! Then act like it-”

“YOU THERE! BE QUIET! YOU ARE IN A LIBRARY!!!” 

Headmaster Crowley comes out of nowhere and  takes you completely by surprise, as it echoes throughout the library.

“But you’re yellin’ louder ‘n any of us, though!” Grim points out exasperated.

“Oh!” He clears his voice before hushing into a whisper, “Yes, my apologies. But let us strive to maintain the library as a quiet place for reading.”

“What are you doing here, Headmaster?” You ask.

“I’m researching methods to send you back home. Precisely as I promised I would.” 

That gets your attention! “Did you find anything?!” You say hopeful, if he has then that’s one step closer to you returning home. You’ll accept any news, even horrific news!

Crowley hesitates for far too long. “Uh, No, unfortunately…But I am gracious! And the library is, of course, an ideal place for serious research.”

“Aw.” Your mood deflates like a balloon. Ah, well at least he’s trying.

“It’s not as if I came here just to secure the newest book in that popular series of novels. No, certainly not.” Wait, what did he say?

“Wait, what-”

He clears his throat and brushes you off, “Incidentally, what are you all discussing with such grim faces?”

“Wait a second. What were you not actually-”

“Now I understand, you are resistant to the idea of apologizing, but unable to devise any other method to get the dorm leader to remove the collar.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much it.”

“I see, If you and the dorm leader are truly unable to reconcile, you could always transfer. However, this is the dorm that the Dark Mirror chose for you based on the essence of your being. Any attempt to relocate would necessitate quite a burdensome process, as well as a new ritual.” Of course, they are strings attached to this nonsense. You might as well just let Ace move in, which you really don’t want to do with what happened this morning.

And Ace is stubborn, so transferring is the equivalent of saying Riddle’s right and that means that transferring is not happening.

After some thought, Crowley finally responds. “Hmm. Then it sounds like you should challenge Mr. Rosehearts for leadership of the dorm.”

“WHAAAAAT?!” That’s a thing?! Even Trey is surprised for shit’s sake and he’s a third year! Does Crowley just withhold information for the fun of it, because seriously he just refuses to tell people things just to make a joke later?!

“Lower your voices! This is a library!” Crowley whisper-yells.

“But what you said was…insane?” Ace whisper-yells in complete disbelief. But to be honest, Whatever He’s said much more insane things to you….You probably wouldn’t have noticed if Crowley hadn’t spelled it out for you. Maybe this will lead to a solution somehow?

“There is nothing remotely ‘insane’ about it. After all, that’s how Mr. Rosehearts got the position.” Wait, how did Trey not- nevermind.

So dorm leaders can either be named by the predecessor or duel for the position. Well, this could be worse. If Riddle became housewarden within a week it could be possible for Ace or Deuce to do it. 

Plus, it would get the collars of them before the duel because they need their magic to- Wait. 

“But if you fight Riddle, then-”

“So what do you say, Mr. Trappola? Will you challenge Mr. Rosehearts?”

“But wait, if you fight Riddle-”

“Sure, I’ll give it a shot!” 

“Ace, if you duel Riddle then he’ll-”

“Then I will too!”

“Me three!”

“I’m afraid not, Mr. Grim. You cannot challenge a dorm leader of a dorm to which you do not belong.”

“Myah?! Then how’m I supposed to get this buzzkill collar off?!”

“About that, if-”

“If I become dorm leader, I’ll just order Riddle to remove it! Easy-peasy!” 

“But I don’t think you’ll w-”

“How will everyone know how tough I am if you do that?” You facepalm, they’re not listening. And they’re pumped up, so they’re probably not paying attention to the obvious detail they’re ignoring.

That Riddle will slap the collars right back on them as soon as the duel begins.

Even though Trey knows this, he doesn’t stop them or tell them that instead he says, “Are you sure about this? I certainly didn’t expect you to throw your hat into the ring, Deuce.”

“You didn’t? I think every man’s gotta make a grab for glory at least once in his lifetime.” Well, it’s too late to talk Deuce out of this. Yay. “And if we’re teaming up to take him down, ya better believe I’m running the show!”

“Oh man, here we go again.” The devious smiles on Ace and Deuce’s faces tell you that this plan is doomed from the start. Note to self, stop by Sam’s later to see if he has any charms or spells that can make your room impossible to enter without your permission, because you’re probably about to get two new roommates

“Huh? What’d you say?”

“Then I’ll get started on the paperwork,” Crowley says excitedly. 

“Are you guys sure this is a good idea? Because-” Again, you’re interrupted. 

“Don’t get all worked up on me now. All we need’s a plan. Anyone got one?”

“Hmm. Hard to imagine we can beat Riddle with straightforward magic. A solid left hook, on the other hand…” 

“Yeah, that guy looks like a pushover.” Oh, well that could work. Riddle could beat them in magic, but with fists though-

“Ah, did I forget to mention that detail? These duels are to be fought solely with magic.” There it is. Why do you even bother? 

Either way, Ace and Deuce have already decided they would do this and Crowley’s excited to make it happen, no way out of this now.

But maybe, for you, there is.

The mirror on your bedroom wall.

Let the night show you what it wants. Maybe it has something. A way out of this wonderland.

It might be uncomfortable to sleep with this collar on but,....

…..Let’s see where this rabbit hole takes you.

[mandiemegatron]

Why kill off the reader in the second part of losing the war? I was expecting Kidd or Killer to get hurt or something but killing the reader? Tell us you don't care about your readers without telling us you don't care about your readers. Who the fuck kills off the READER? Take the L and maybe stop acting like your writing is better than it actually is.

*deep breath*

Okay.

I've received a handful of anons similar to this one and I didn't think I'd have to come on here to break down my ideas and give reasons as to why I wrote something the way I did, but clearly some people are pretty pressed over my choices for Just Come Home. Everything under the readmore so I don't clog up people's dash.

Let's break this down one point at a time. So firstly, my choice to kill off the Reader was actually a last-minute decision while finishing it off. My original idea was reader never forgives Kid and decides to fight Kid and Killer instead, losing and being left for dead (for Law to find), but decided, why not even more hurt? More pain and more anguish, as I was asked to put Kid through via some askers/anons. I found the best way to do that, was to kill off the reader. Have them make amends only to have that ripped from Kids hands and destroyed with a simple flick of the wrist, and honestly, the fact that I had myself in tears while writing it gave me the motivation to continue with that idea.

I also wanted to delve into trying my hand at Law who felt backed into a wall and decided to spill blood, all for the sake of having an upper hand, and if that meant he had to off the reader to keep that upper hand, then so be it. I wanted to write something different from my usual angst, something a little more devastating and I feel like I hit that mark pretty damn close. Truly, I'm sorry you feel differently about it.

Secondly, don't you EVER come into my inbox and point fingers, saying I don't care about my readers. Buddy, I probably care TOO MUCH about my readers, about what they think and about how they feel when reading my writing. This is incredibly hurtful for you to come up here and essentially scream in my face that this isn't good enough. I need you to understand that if you dont enjoy something, that means it wasn't written for YOU. Not everything you come across is going to be to your taste and it's insanely self-centered and entitled of you to come in here and tell me I don't give a fuck about my readers because YOU thought it was stupid. It feels like you're taking this a little personally and I don't understand why.

Lastly, i don't sit here and brag about my writing. In fact, I feel like I stay pretty quiet other than some self reblogs of things I've written when I'm feeling that certain blorbo. It's confusing and again, hurtful, for you to come in here and essentially tell me to shut the fuck up... on my own blog. That's some strange activities there, buddy. I think you maybe need to log off for a bit, go sit in nature and do some deep breathing because this is crossing the line over to chronically online. Please go outside for a bit. Please revise your manners and remember the golden rule. You don't have to be religious for you to understand "treat others the way you want to be treated".

Do better.

[idreamofthemeparks]

I went to both Tokyo Disney parks! Some thoughts/experiences:

People there wave at animatronics! I get laughed at for doing that in Florida!

Go during Halloween if you can. Tons of cosplayers go and the costumes you'll see are insane. And you can easily get a picture with a really good cosplayer instead of waiting in line for an official face character.

The Halloween night show at DisneySea was the worst. 7 minutes of very few fireworks, followed by an extremely weird heartfelt song that was like "🎵it's Halloween night... And we will go out... And get treats🎶". What the hell was that? Also, they run fireworks until 9PM exactly. I'm guessing they have to because there would be massive crowds of people waiting if there was just one show. People there have no qualms about sitting and waiting for 3+ hours for a parade or fireworks show.

Fantasy Springs was really great. The central area, design aesthetic and rockwork tied it all together really well and the transitions between the different areas were about as seamless as they could possibly be.

The Frozen animatronics, because they were like 4ft tall and so skinny and had such huge eyes, looked like weird dolls/aliens up close. That might creep some people out but I really genuinely loved it. Get in the back of the boat and you can see them freeze between scenes. I've said this before but it's very weird that it's a boat ride, since it relies on one specific scene happening at a time, and every other boat ride there had scenes running continuously!

The Magic Lamp Theater is really good! I skipped it on my last trip because there's no real indication anywhere that it's anything more than a 3D show with Genie, but it has a preshow with an animatronic and it has live actors! And it runs continuously all day!

THE GACHA MACHINE IN THE TOWER OF TERROR GIFT SHOP. FUCK THAT ONE MACHINE IN PARTICULAR. I shit you not, I rolled that thing 9 times and didn't get the Henry keychain I wanted.

I saw a really amazing Sinbad cosplayer but they wouldn't let me get a picture :(

At Disneysea, I did 20k 2x, Sinbad 3x, Indiana Jones 3x, Raging Spirits 1x, Nemo 1x, Peter Pan 1x and Frozen 1x, and the carousel 1x. I would've done Aquatopia, but last time it got me very wet and I had to go home on the subway with wet socks, so no thanks.

It's insane how good the single rider lines are especially at night. Wish they would bring those to Disneyland. Beauty could use one; they even had signs up for one but it wasn't in use.

Why is Sinbad always a walk on?? It's one of the best dark rides ever and it has a cute character in it!

Covid absolutely murdered DisneySea's live entertainment and it has NOT recovered. The afternoon lagoon show was a "Halloween greeting" that consisted entirely of some characters riding a barge out onto the water and dancing. Remember when they used to sail pirate ships in that lagoon? Multiple theaters are sitting empty, notably in Lost River Delta and Triton's Kingdom. Very sad.

If you don't know how to use the app or how passes work, you're screwed on lines and you can't even get into certain restaurants, at least at DisneySea! It's heartbreaking! I made friends with an American couple in the morning who had no idea how any of the passes worked, so I told them. It took multiple explanations, which I don't blame them for because it took me a few weeks to understand it myself. Then when we got into the park at rope drop, they tried to get Frozen passes... and couldn't, because their app glitched out at the crucial moment. I understand the Fantasy Springs thing because it's so new, but paid fastpasses being implemented here and everything being dependent on the app... It hurts to watch, man. Especially since last time I went, there were still paper Fastpasses, which are much easier and more accessible. Idk, I just think it should be possible to walk into a theme park and have at least a chance of doing stuff without memorizing the rules of a bunch of different reservation systems (same problem I've had with WDW for years).

When you're on Frozen it's easy to not notice how bad the ride design is, unless you're like me (thinking "wow look at that empty space", "do we need 3 rooms for one song" etc) because it really is a technical marvel. Also I got hit directly in the eye by a water jet right after the Let It Go scene. Rude.

Haunted Mansion is smack dab in the middle of Fantasyland there. I'm not sure what the alternative is but it doesn't fit in there at all.

I do not care for Haunted Mansion Holiday. I hadn't seen it in person before this but damn it's so cheap-looking. Also I'm salty that I didn't get to see the Tokyo bride.

What I like about Beauty and the Beast is that you get a nice long look at every animatronic since the scenes are so long. I felt satisfied after one go-around, which is rare for me.

Were there canoes in Rivers of America at WDW? Regardless, I'm glad that there are some in Tokyo. Rafts, canoes and a boat-- multiple forms of transportation, like Walt wanted!

Davy Jones on Pirates has one of the funniest line deliveries I've seen on a ride. "So says I..... DAVY JONES-UH!"

Monsters Inc was really good. It's basically just Men in Black: Alien Attack-- you enter through a company run by weird creatures, and then shoot at those creatures as you go through a city that looks a lot like New York. They seem to have seasonal changes to the dialogue-- Luz said "happy Halloween" at the end!

In a crowded bathroom, a CM said "hime-sama, dozo!" to indicate which stall I should use. That's honestly the first time I've been called "princess" in a bathroom. This was even in Frontierland, a place you would not expect to be called a princess.

Country Bears Vacation Hoedown was great. Nothing prepares you for a bear singing Achey Breaky Heart in Japanese. They opened with Great Outdoors, which I remember from that one Disneyland sing-along VHS that I watched as a kid!

The Snow White ride is the one where the witch just fucking kills you at the end! The amount of stuff this park keeps that American Disney parks think are super offensive is insane. Yeah, we'll keep Trader Sam. Sure, we'll play Dixie in Critter Country. I do understand why they made those changes in America-- especially on Pirates, I forgot how creepy the bride auction scene was.

Sucks to see Space Mountain gone. I bet something big is coming to Tomorrowland since they got rid of Buzz Lightyear and Space Mountain at the same time.

I'm pleasantly surprised that they kept Peter Pan's Flight, with Fantasy Springs and all. Though to be fair, it doesn't have a huge amount of space and barely any room for the queue, so there's probably not too much they could actually do with it.

I didn't get a picture but at the front of the Halloween parade was Dr Facilier doing the fruitiest little dance. And, WHERE IS THE HAUNTED MANSION BRIDE FACE CHARACTER? It's the Halloween parade!!! I did see like 4 women cosplaying as her though.

I got podracing and the Gungan city on Star Tours. Honestly, perfect. wouldn't change a thing.

I can't believe (in a good way) they included the FSU gopher on Splash-- nobody there knows what FSU is.

Someone was telling jokes and doing audience participation stuff over the intercom in the Jungle Cruise queue. Fun!

The Belle animatronics are life sized and not creepy up close. Probably not made by the same design team as Frozen.

Maybe I just haven't been to a Disney park in long enough but I'm pleasantly surprised at how close you get to the animatronics on these rides. Like, close enough to see the stray hairs on their heads. I wonder if someone has to re-style the animatronics' hair at night.

I really genuinely bow down to Japanese Disney fans. These mfs will spend 15-hour days in full cosplay, long sleeves and wigs and all. I saw a good number of people doing it.

People here are also so earnest! No sarcasm or irony, no "dad dragged to Disney" type shit (at least not that I saw). People clap at Country Bears, wave to you from the queue when you're on a ride, etc. For the most part, everyone really wants to be there. Plus Japanese people are so pleasant in general. I was at rope drop trying to get into an extremely popular land that opened 4 months ago. I haven't been in that situation in America but I don't think everyone involved would be quietly, politely filing into the gates. The only comparable situation I've been in was going to Hollywood Studios right after Rise of the Resistance opened, and it was kill or be killed there.

Don't try to do every single ride at Disneyland in one day, holy shit. I went on ALL the dark rides and it was a LOT of exertion. Prioritize the stuff you can't get at home. And you should probably do rope drop regardless of how many rides you do.

By the way, rope drop there consists of getting in line at 6:30 AM or earlier. I got to Disneyland at 6:30 on a Sunday and there were at LEAST a thousand people ahead of me. These people really do not fucking play around.

Million Dollar Bunny always works there! Is this one called 100 Million Yen Bunny?

Maybe I'm just spoiled by Magic Kingdom Tomorrowland, but the Tokyo one would really benefit from an Astro Orbiter or something. The place is largely just one level and that would make it a lot more dynamic.

Overall, yeah, I still think DisneySea is the best theme park in the world. Both parks are absolutely stacked in terms of attractions, the food is fantastic, and the staff, of course, is excellent in every way. It's just an incredibly pleasant experience overall. I can always find something to complain about at any park but my issues here were very minimal. In case you're going anytime soon, here are the rope drop plans that worked well for me (keep in mind that I got to both parks at 6:30AM):

DisneySea: first, grab a pass for Frozen if possible. It's crucial to get in super early for this one to get the standby pass; I've heard that international credit cards can take a little bit to process payments so you may have a hard time getting Premiere Access. If you get a standby pass, you can buy Premiere Access for another Fantasy Springs ride, or for Soaring if you're into that (it'll be 80 min minimum all day, but it's not worth that wait at all if you've been on either US version). Grab a 40th pass for Indiana Jones if you don't want to do single-rider for that one, or for Nemo if you do (Journey to the Center of the Earth was closed when I went, but prioritize that one too). Set an alarm to get another Fantasy Springs standby pass as soon as you can, because they run out fast. Run to Tower of Terror. Then do whatever you want for the rest of the day-- if you single-rider Indiana Jones and Raging Spirits, they are walk-ons all day. 20k Leagues will be a walk-on after 8PM.

Disneyland: grab Premiere Access for Beauty, then get a 40th pass for Monsters Inc. If you're in the park early enough, they should both give you really early return times. Set an alarm for the next time you can get 40th and Premiere passes (the app will tell you both) and when they go off, you can probably get a 40th pass for Big Thunder. You can buy Premiere for Baymax too, if you're into that. Then run to Pooh, and if you have enough time before your 40th/Premiere return times, go to Mansion. All the other dark rides in the park will have very reasonable wait times for the rest of the day, except for Splash, which will probably have Premiere Access available for pretty long into the day. Pooh and Monsters' wait times will go way down after 8PM too. If you want to see the afternoon parade, I recommend getting in the Peter Pan queue about 3PM; it's in a good spot to see the floats and you don't have to deal with the truly massive amount of people who by that point will have secured all the good parade viewing spots 3 hours earlier.

[destiel-wings]

I was wondering why they used the blue for Mary and the green for John here (when usually Mary is used as a parallel for Dean) then I remembered John is supposed to die at the hands of a vampire in this episode.......

💙💚

*yes, the episode which is titled "CAST YOUR FATE TO THE WIND"

[ebonytails]

sorry my post is just to complain but guys i literally hate adobe after effects. i can not explain to you the mental torture and how LOW it has brought my mental health because I *need* to use it for my post production class because it's "industry standard". ADOBE After Effects has made me write off the entire film and video production industry as a turn off and I never want to do it ever again.

The amount of times this has crashed on me where I lost everything? 5+ hours of work? 8+ hours of work? It's my fault for not saving sometimes but I also have auto-save on. it didn't save anything so im just left with nothing.

You want a trip to burn out town really quick? Use adobe after effects in an academic setting where you have no choice but to use this program.

I have never in my life TOUCHED a program SO TERRIBLE that it made me never want to do anything about that form of art/media EVER AGAIN

[talkorsomething]

I have Got to get more transgender

[oozeandgoo-art]

everyone is sooo in love with vakori on account of le is so cool and smart and deeply pragmatic and is also completely batshit insane

[the-casbah-way]

sometimes being so overly sensitive makes it hard to function like how do people do it. today we drove past three dead pheasants and i'm expected to be fine about the fact that they died alone and in pain and everyone keeps driving as if they never mattered. as if they didn't live and breathe and think. ok

[moe-broey]

Another important thing though...

[mmmthornton]

god, there is not enough stakhemy content out there... >:(

[takamoris]

Final Fantasy XIV Online I love you so much I love you I love you sooooo much

[incendiorum-arch]

i am actively, actually, going to go fucking insane

[determinate-negation]

im making a post to support the fundraiser of ola @olagaza this is a verified campaign and is #205 in el-shab-hussein and nabulsi's vetted fundraiser list

ola is a graduate student and math teacher from gaza. she was studying at al-azhar university and had just started teaching mathematics at a school when the war began. she was very happy and excited to be teaching and to move into this chapter of her life, but because of the war everything has changed.

her neighborhood, home, university, and the school she taught at were all completely destroyed in the bombings. her and her family lost everything and are now displaced living in shelters with very few of the necessities people need. theyve been forcibly displaced multiple times since then due to the genocidal israeli armys constant changes to the size and location of 'safe zones,' where they often kill civilians with impunity anyways. theres very little food or clean water available and its priced far higher than most people can afford.

i dont think many of us reading this can truly understand what its like to live like this, with no food or shelter, with the threat of death and torture hanging over you at any second– but please try to put yourself in her shoes for a second. ola and i are the same age, and were both graduate students. but while my classes are going to be starting soon, her school (and all the schools in gaza) were completely destroyed or rendered inoperable. many of the students have been killed. reports say that the rubble itself will take years to clear. if i think about what my city would look like right now with the same level of devastation that exists in gaza its almost hard to comprehend because its such an insanely horrific level of destruction. why should this be acceptable or simply background noise to people just because its happening to gaza and not to a western city?

please share and donate. ola's campaign has been going slowly lately but the situation in gaza is not getting any better. do not let this die down just because this genocidal war has been going on for so long. things are getting worse and your donations are a serious lifeline to families on here. what you do actually matters, so please donate.

$31,630 raised of $50,000

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

A very self indulgent Billford playlist!

Self indulgent, because this music does not appeal to the masses at all; these songs are limited to the stuff I listen to. So I’m being VERY transparent about my embarrassing taste in music right now! Plus, NOBODY ASKED FOR THIS!!! But I hope some of these resonate with you. This is a little collection I’ve formed in my phone notes since I got into this ship a couple weeks ago.

Not a fancy spotify playlist, it’s just links to the music on youtube. 

I’ve got this divided into parts:

-The Billford Songs

-The In This Moment Billford Songs

SO MUCH of their music is enemies/lovers perfection. I’ve thought about so many *killing you but also making out with you* pairings to this shit, because these songs were like, DESIGNED to be recycled for any and all love hate relationships, and still hit insanely hard EVERY TIME. So now that you have these songs under your belt, you have them FOREVER. You’re welcome. I haven’t even listened to all their music, I’m sure there’s more songs for this category that I simply haven’t discovered.

-The…Maybe…Billford Songs

My standards were kinda high for making this list. But every song is about your ship when you’re insane, right??? So these are the maybe’s. One’s I’ve thought about billford to, but maybe the lyrics don’t totally align.

Playlist under the cut! I wasn’t gonna ramble about each song but WHOOPS I DID 🤷‍♀️

The Billford songs:

Monophobia - Deadmau5 (Extended version, cuz it’s the best.)

THE LYRICS… THE LYRICS!!!! Definitely bill pining in theraprism. 

Propane Nightmares - Pendulum

This one WAS gonna go in the maybe’s, but I convinced myself otherwise after listening to it eighty more times, and now it’s up here on top. And fuck it, this is the *self indulgent* billford playlist, so I do what I want. I go into a fucking trance when I listen to this song, so I can’t really explain 110% why this is a billford song to me, but I’ll try.  Apparently, this song is about the heavens gate cult. So not enemies/lovers angst. But looking at the lyrics, you could interpret it as giving yourself to something greater, and coming to the realization that what you pledged yourself to is actually a very bad thing which will ultimately destroy you. (also, you can’t deny that there was some cult like manipulation happening with Bill and Ford. Sense of purpose and friendship.) Definitely billford-y when you consider Fords commitment to bill. And I’ll admit, when I listen to it, there is some pov switching. Because the “trail of fire”,  “we will be as one”, and “bring it on home” is VERY reminiscent of bill executing weirdmageddon. So overall, my interpretation of this song is Ford feeling torn about bill, feeling regret, feeling scared, and Bill of course, just wanting to bring the dimensions together. “BRING IT ON HOME!!!!”  Or I just like the song. 

Rule 34 - Fish in a Birdcage

Bestie recommended this song to me. It needs no explanation.

Painkiller - The Queenstons

…NEEDS NO EXPLANATION DSKFDSKJHF It’s similar to the above, just more… scary imo. Violent. Definitely bill being a little psycho. I really love this song. It’s very recyclable too. You have it for any toxic ship now. 

9V - The Queenstons

One of my favorite Lapfox/Halley Labs songs… I’m gonna give you the lyrics, it’s a bit hard to understand without them. In my eyes, it’s about betraying Ford. Also these vocals (and other music by this artist) works so well for bill because of the synthesized voice. 

LoveBOMB - S3RL

This is a new S3RL song. This song sounds like a tantrum, and I really liked it when I first heard it, but it didn't fit anything I was into at the time. Luckily, bill suffered a horrible breakup, and now this song has it’s meaning. 

When I'm There - S3RL

Bill thinking about joining the third dimension with Ford. 

Click Bait - S3RL

I’ve listened to this one a LOT before this, and I surprised myself with how much it aligns with bill, specifically, him tricking Ford.

Space-Time - S3RL

Speaks for itself.

Sodom & Gomorrah - Dorian Electra

This one’s just funny :)

The In This Moment Billford Songs

Sick Like Me

Sexual Hallucination

This is one of those recyclable songs, but I was damn surprised at how well the lyrics suited them, because it alludes to being out of body, possession, etc.

Blood

Half God half devil

Roots

Whore

Damn it, I cant deny this one suits them.

Big Bad Wolf

DAMN IT I wasn’t gonna include this one, but I just checked the lyrics and fuck, it works. In this moment, how are you so wonderful

The…Maybe…Billford Songs

Illuminaughty - Infected Mushroom

I'm kind of grasping at straws with these lyrics, but with a title like that? Come on

The Pretender - Foo Fighters, Infected Mushroom, Turbo Remix

Three versions, for whichever suits your fancy.

Leopold - Infected Mushroom

This one has NO LYRICS, but it has this buildup that sounds really cool, and it has an abrupt decrescendo. Reminds me of their "friendship" and how it all came crashing down.

Idolize - Dorian Electra

Hmmmmm, I just like Dorian. But the idolization thing works for obvious reasons.

That’s it! Hope you enjoy. Maybe I'll do an expansion pack of sorts if I find enough songs for a part 2.

[jaewritesfic]

Melon!AU Part 2

If it had been anyone but Cass to suggest it, Bruce is certain that both Damian and Tim would have responded with an immediate and vehement, Are you insane?!

But it is Cass. It's Cass, so Damian makes a choked sound and bites out, “Help. The Pit Demon?”

Similarly, Tim chokes out, “I don't know about that one, Black Bat. I mean- it's- it looks-”

“Judging books?” Cass asks through comms, a gentle disapproval in her tone that rivals Alfred’s in effectiveness. Bruce himself feels a little cowed by it.

Diplomacy had not, after all, been on his mind before his daughter spoke up.

He should know better than to make assumptions, especially if she's right and the creature isn't as hostile as it seems.

That's still a very big if.

“Commissioner,” Bruce says lowly, turning his head. Gordon is lingering near the roof access stairway, having come up to brief them but seeming reluctant to even look down on the creature in the alley. “Have there been any casualties? Injuries?”

Jim falters, uncharacteristically rattled. Bruce can't blame him - there's a low level dread and an unsettling feeling just being in the same vicinity as the creature, and that's as a seasoned vigilante. Someone who faces death down regularly.

“Uh. No. No, it uh- it took some swipes at people who got too close, but it didn't connect. We backed off pretty fast and called you as soon as possible.”

Bruce blinks. “Not even any blood drawn?”

Gordon shakes his head. “Damn miracle. The thing is fast and those claws are vicious.”

He hears Cass hum into the comms, and he understands exactly why.

The thing in the alley is built to do damage. He has his doubts it was any kind of miracle that made it ‘miss’ any of the swipes it took.

Trying to scare them off indeed.

“Black Bat. What exactly are you reading off the creature?”

“Looking for exits. Desperate. Overwhelmed.”

Bruce hums. “Being cornered and desperate will make anyone or anything dangerous. We need to proceed carefully here. Even if it doesn't want to hurt anyone, that doesn't mean it won't if it thinks it has no other-”

The shadow that is Cass shifts in his periphery, and he looks up to the opposite roof just in time to bark, “Do not-!” as Cass steps off the roof and flips down into the alley.

Why are his kids so determined to give him a stroke?

Dick vaults up over the edge of the roof to join he and Tim, saying, “I'm here, what's-”

He cuts off and claps his hands over his ears with everyone else when the creature shrieks at Black Bat's unexpected arrival.

“Black Bat,” Bruce grits out, heart in his throat as he peers over the edge with ringing ears. “Retreat back to the rooftops now.”

One tap to the comm. No.

Bruce grits his teeth, fighting not to show his anxiety. It's not like Cass to refuse orders. Hell, he can't remember her ever disobeying an order in the field so blatantly.

The low warning noise the creature is making now is almost as bad as the shriek. Something about it sets off every alarm bell in his brain, like it was never meant to be heard by human ears. Almost a growl, almost a moan, something celestial and unfathomable.

Cass doesn't back up or get any closer. She raises a hand slowly in a little wave and says, “Hello.”

If it were possible to startle a fax machine, it would probably sound like the creature does as it jerks and snaps its mouth shut in surprise, lamplight eyes going huge and round.

Masterpost

[astonmartinii]

i can do it with a broken heart [guilty as sin part three] | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader

life goes on after a bombshell but this silence isn't mysterious it's ominous

MASTERLIST | GUILTY AS SIN MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,304,509 others

yourusername: don't tell lies about me and i won't tell truths about you

view all comments

user164: oh holy moly this is so much worse than i thought

user165: i don't think i can ever look at those men the same ever again

user166: SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS FOR FAVOURS?

user167: my mouth dropped open when i read that

user168: so like not to be insensitive but like who do we think it was

maxverstappen1: so like y/n obviously can't talk on this because she needs her silence but my big mouth will remain open they tried it on me that's why she mentions that she managed to make friends.

user169: what the fuck

maxverstappen1: they thought that i would be an easy target because i was so young but jokes on them i've always been taken advantage of so i saw that from a mile away (also y/n didn't want to so that obviously helped)

user170: that is actually insane like her and max are the same age so that would've made her so young i hope to god that they didn't try it with anyone older

maxverstappen1: they did but by the time they realised that it hadn't worked on me y/n had allies and fernando and seb were not about to let any of that happen

user171: thank the lord she had some friends when people control your money you'll do anything

fernandoalo_oficial: she became my daughter the moment that i saw them try and offer their family to some of the older men in the paddock

user172: i am actually in shock this was a "oh gosh this is so dramatic situation" but now it's just "holy shit i kinda need to see these guys in jail"

fernandoalo_oficial: me and you both

user173: i'm going to need ferrari to let charles out of the cage for this one

user174: kinda expected him to be in the comments supporting her i'm not going to lie

user175: he's in the likes?

user176: girl? his girlfriend is being sued by his own family and is confessing that she was offered round the paddock like a prize cow i feel like he should be actively voicing his support

oscarpiastri: you're loved and have the full support of the paddock

maxverstappen1: we're behind you 100% of the way

olliebearman: nothing but full support for you mum

pierregasly: we're all here for you no matter what we're allowed to say

fernandoalo_oficial: 🫶

sebastianvettel: it'll all work out in the end

user177: still no charles ???

user178: eh i feel like pierre is confirming charles' support in his place

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 835,923 others

tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc

maxverstappen1: i'm missing my best friend has anyone seen her?

view all comments

user179: oh good i was just about to lose it from y/n and max withdrawals

user180: at least one of the trio of dumbasses is keeping us fed

yourusername: i miss you toooooooooo :( (reply fast my lawyer has gone to the bathroom)

maxverstappen1: hurry up and win your lawsuit so we can go back to kicking ass and drinking gin and tonics

yourusername: i'm trying 🤞

maxverstappen1: and if i said it's time to red wedding them?

yourusername: i think we would be swiftly arrested

maxverstappen1: they can't arrest us our face cards are too strong

yourusername: well one of us is currently in court so what does that say about my face card

charles_leclerc: THAT YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL REGARDLESS FUCK THEM

this comment was liked by the author and @yourusername

this comment was deleted

user181: so is that like confirmation that charles is back in PR jail in maranello

user182: right i understand that he's literally employed by them but like he's also a grown ass man who can speak up

user183: like i know max isn't obviously at ferrari and isn't contractually obligated to be teammates with carlos but even he's out here slamming him

user184: and oscar who's only in his SECOND year in the sport

oscarpiastri: bold assumption that you're the best friend max

maxverstappen1: let's not get too rowdy piastri i can deal with you as the 'child' - you cannot be a bestie as well

oscarpiastri: i don't think that's the exact rules

maxverstappen1: you'll soon learn that I MAKE THE RULES AROUND HERE BUSTER

oscarpiastri: i can't wait for y/n to kick their asses so she can come back and KICK YOURS FOR ME

maxverstappen1: she would NEVER

oscarpiastri: okay maybe she wouldn't, but my dad on the other hand ...

liked by @charles_leclerc

user185: charles just PLEASE GET ON THE MIC

user186: i'm about to lose my patience i'm not going to lie

user187: guys we have to remember that this is a complicated situation with a lot of different moving parts, as long as charles is there for her in REAL LIFE it doesn't matter what we're seeing

liked by @yourusername

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, user190 and 308,994 others

carlossainz55: what was it you said? all is fair in love and poetry.

view all comments

user191: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

user192: not the childhood dog too ???

user193: these are unbelievable levels of hating

user194: i'd be impressed if he wasn't such an asshole

maxverstappen1: get fucked

carlossainz55: she shouldn't dish it out if she can't take it

maxverstappen1: she fell in love ?? and you thought that was a good excuse to take everything she's ever had

carlossainz55: she cost me my dream

maxverstappen1: as far i can remember, she's not on the fucking FERRARI BOARD GENIUS

carlossainz55: it's her pussy-whipped boyfriend that's the problem and she deserved this as soon as she choose him over her blood

maxverstappen1: you're insane and history will always remember you as the biggest crybaby loser to ever grace this sport

user195: so this ^^ is definitely referring to y/n's poetry

user196: are we living through scooter braun volume two

user197: @taylorswift PLEASE HELP

charles_leclerc: EAT SHIT I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL

this comment was deleted

charles_leclerc: you are the lowest of the low and you will get what is coming to you

this comment was deleted

charles_leclerc: there's only so long i have to stay silent and the people will know just the type of person you are

this comment was deleted

user198: so is like carlos deleting this comments or ferrari?

user199: i bet it's ferrari

user200: 1. can they stop being allergic to fun 2. i think this has gotten past the need to uphold image like these are your employees and this is serious actually

user201: also like silencing charles when its CARLOS BEING THE MESSY ONE HE IS ACTUALLY STILL YOUR EMPLOYEE

yourusername: old habits die screaming

carlossainz55: you can spout all the 'poetry' you want it'll all belong to me anyway

yourusername: i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning

user202: stealing poetry? now that's a new low

user203: i'm gonna need someone to take one for the team and put a cheeky front wing in his tyre

georgerussell63: well this sounds like a job for me

charles_leclerc

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 893,450 others

charles_leclerc: lets go racing.

view all comments

user206: is this even charles? where are the emojis? where is the excitement

user207: i think we might be witnessing a lil PR takeover after his deleted comments tirade under carlos' recent post

user208: you'd think they'd at least get his tone right like the rest of his account is RIGHT THERE

user209: charles leclerc's PR team we now have beef

liked by @yourusername

maxverstappen1: ugh you people are useless

oscarpiastri: i'm not going to lie i'm losing my patience

maxverstappen1: for real i'm gonna need this court case to finish up fast so we can get back to being a united front of haters

oscarpiastri: and then we can also wrestle charles' phone back by force

olliebearman: PLEASE KNOW THIS ISN'T ME I LOVE Y/N AND WE WILL LIVE TO KICK ASS AGAIN

user210: oh so they quite literally took his phone?

olliebearman: whoops

user210: ollie coming for kid of the year

olliebearman: i can't be told off for accidentally leaving my phone out while in the car and accidentally making my password something easy to remember and accidentally telling charles that his PR team had posted something - accident i swear

user211: @maxverstappen1 can you confirm they're still grossly in love?

maxverstappen1: i do have the letters to prove so but i think he's going insane with withdrawals

user212: that's it GET ME TO MARANELLO RIGHT THIS SECOND I HAVE A SCORE TO SETTLE

user213: yo i know we just got some confirmation from max but i can't help but think how lonely this must be for y/n

user214: for real if i was being sued by my family and had everything stolen from me i'd want more than some 'confirmation' through her bff in an instagram comment

carlossainz55: i hate to say i told you so @yourusername but that would be a lie i'm enjoying this so much

maxverstappen1: i want to fight you so bad but my therapist said that's bad

oscarpiastri: it's also illegal?

maxverstappen1: what's the point of being a rich white man oscar if i can't use to it to traverse the justice system and defend my bestie's honour

user215: @charles_leclerc get a backbone and do it like these two ^^

user216: i still have faith that he'll rain hell on that family when he's free

user217: well can he hurry the fuck up cause he's really shaping up to be the worst boyfriend of the year

user218: he has to get fucking loud HE CAN'T PROVE CARLOS RIGHT I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN THAT WORLD

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 934,520 others

yourusername: i can do it with a broken heart

view all comments

user223: no no NO WE'RE NOT DOING ALL THIS GUESSING GAME SHIT WHAT WAS THE VERDICT?

user224: it's finished?

user225: that's what the spanish media are saying

user224: well in that case Y/N WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE YOUR POETRY BACK?

maxverstappen1: a wine evening without me? prison changed you

user225: SHE'S IN PRISON?

yourusername: STOP TELLING PEOPLE I'M IN JAIL

maxverstappen1: want me to put some money in the commissary so you can buy cigarettes?

yourusername: i don't even smoke and i'M NOT IN JAIL

maxverstappen1: now you've done time can you employ some stricter parenting on oscar and ollie, they've gotten unruly with both parents absent

yourusername: i'm not an absent mother :(

oscarpiastri: SHE'S VERY PRESENT SHE'S BEEN TO EVERY RECITAL SHE CAN IN HER CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES

maxverstappen1: did you just refer to literal FORMULA ONE GRAND PRIXS AS RECITALS?

oscarpiastri: maybe i did

yourusername: he's allowed to call them what he wants

olliebearman: i feel sufficiently supported by you mum x

yourusername: i'm glad

olliebearman: family dinner when dad gets released from ferrari's top secret base jail?

this comment was deleted

maxverstappen1: did he just get sniped by ferrari's PR?

user226: okay cool got the main kids update but WHAT ABOUT LEO?

user227: please tell me he's been been in good care

yourusername: he's been my rock 🤞

user228: not the dog being more present than charles - it would be funny if it wasn't so sad :(

user229: so are any of you going to address the literal caption of this post

user230: there's two options here she either lost the court case or her and charles have actually broken up

user231: the fact carlos is not in this comment section actively gloating makes me think she might have actually won?

user232: but i don't want it to be the other option... charles and y/n are end game :(

user233: but he's been so so silent and that BULLSHIT response in the press conference

user234: idk the delusion in me has this theory ... she won the case but like t swift, doesn't have access to her old work so maybe she's heartbroken over losing that and then it's just exacerbated by her boyfriend's useless bosses that are holding him captive in italy (also he was totally coached to say that shit in the presser it's written all over his strangely expressive face)

user235: at this point i might go to italy and just prison break him out of there this is ridiculous

fin.

note: DON'T HATE ME YALL i promise it'll get better we must have faith in the man (i know i hate to put my faith in men) xx

extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx

taglist: in comments!