#DON’T YOU JUST HATE TO SEE A GROWN MAN CRY * ( prompts )

[cevansbrat0007]

The Green Light

Summary: Full Story! Andy is over the moon when you finally get the green light to be intimate again after the birth of your babies. But how do you explain to him that you're not quite comfortable with your post-pregnancy body just yet? Check out the sequel: The Green Light Afterglow.

Warnings: Mature Themes, Light Smut, Daddy Kink, Insecure Reader, Discussions of Post-Pregnancy Body, Discussions of Intimacy, Slight Lactation Kink Reference, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: I know this took a while. Thank you all for your patience and I sincerely hope it's okay. Prompt courtesy of an anonymous reader. Part of my ongoing Growing Pains Series. Warnings subject to change. All mistakes are my own. Please let me know your thoughts!

___

“Well, I’ve gotta tell you, my dear, by all appearances you’ve healed just fine.” You let out a sigh as Dr. Wilson, your OBGYN, removes the speculum. God, how you hated that thing. “You can go ahead and sit up.” You watch as he removes his gloves to make some notes on his mobile workstation. “Everything looks good. How have you been feeling lately? Raising four kids is no easy feat, especially when half of them are newborns.”

“Andy and I try to split the shifts as best we can. If he’s helping with the twins then I’ve got the older girls, and vice versa.”

“That’s good. One thing I’ve always liked about the two of you is that you believe in teamwork. You’d be surprised at how many couples don’t.” He makes a few more notes. “And how many hours of sleep would you say you get a night? Ballpark it for me if you can.”

“Um…” You have to think about that one. “Maybe five. Yeah, I would say about five hours a night. And I can occasionally squeeze in a quick nap during the day when the twins are sleeping. It doesn’t happen all of the time, but it’s better than nothing.”

The older man nods his head. “And how are Bianca and Katrina adjusting to the new additions? And by the way, don’t forget that you promised to show me pictures, because I certainly haven’t.” Dr. Wilson looks up from his computer and offers you a warm smile.

“I haven’t forgotten, don’t worry.” You tell him with a chuckle. “And they’re okay. Bianca loves to hold them all the time. And Katrina is enjoying being a big sister – she’s very helpful. She wants to play with them so bad, but she doesn’t quite get that they’re still a little too young.”

“I see. And is she still threatening to put A.J. outside?” The corners of his eyes crinkle as he struggles not to laugh just like he had when you’d first relayed your three-year-old’s initial reaction to your pregnancy reveal. 

“Oh, God. She’s only made that threat twice I think since we’ve brought them home. Once when he wouldn’t stop crying. And then again when she wanted to cuddle with me while I was in the middle of a feeding. Other than that, she’s been fine. He’s growing on her.” 

“Glad to hear it.” He mutters. “That’s usually how it goes. Give it a few years, and I bet they’ll be the best of friends.”

God, you sure hoped so. Just last night you had a dream about finding your little boy out in the woods. Except he’d somehow grown a beard, making him look like a baby mountain man. And, of course, he had been clutching that damn blankie too! 

“Well, you’ll be happy to know that I’m officially giving you the all-clear to resume any and all physical activity. If you have any concerns after we’re done here, you know I’m only a phone call away.”

Thank goodness! You couldn’t wait to start working out again. You were tired of rocking stretchy pants and maternity clothes. 

Your phone buzzes in your purse as Dr. Wilson finishes up whatever else he’s typing. It goes on for a while before it finally stops, only to resume buzzing seconds later. 

If you were a betting woman, and you were, you’d put your money on the person behind all the constant buzzing being none other than your husband, Andrew. You knew he’d been waiting for this day. Your man had been extra giddy this morning. So much in fact that you could’ve sworn he’d clicked his heels on his way out the door.

___

Twenty Minutes Later…

You wait to check your phone until after your appointment is over and you're safely back in your car. According to your phone, you have two missed calls from Andy Bear, along with three new texts.  

Andy Bear: Hey, baby girl. How’d the appointment go? Did we get the all clear?

Andy Bear: Can you answer your phone, please? I want to hear your sweet voice when you tell me the good news.

Andy Bear: C'mon! You’ve got me dancing on pins and needles right now. Call me.

You shake your head and then dial your man. He answers on the second ring. 

“There you are, sweetness! I was starting to get worried there for a moment.” The genuine concern in his voice has you playfully rolling your eyes. 

“Relax, Andy. Sometimes these appointments can take a while. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong, Dr. Wilson is just being thorough.” You check your appearance in the rearview mirror, noting that the bags under your eyes seem to look better than they have in days. “That’s part of the reason he’s been my OBGYN for so long, because he’s good at what he does.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. He’s great.” You know he's not being dismissive on purpose, it’s just that he’s chomping at the bit to hear one key piece of information. “How’s your little body? Did we get the green light?”

Ahh, and there it was. Sometimes Andrew Barber was like a dog with a fucking bone. And only your husband would refer to your body as being “little” when you were still walking around sporting maternity wear.  

“I’ve been cleared for all physical activity. Which means I can finally start working out again and –”

“Fuck, yeah we did!” He cheers into the receiver, loud enough to make you wince. “Alright, baby girl, that settles it. BiBi and KitCat are going to my sister’s for a sleepover and the twins will stay at grandma’s. Meanwhile, I’m gonna leave the office early to pick us up some dinner. How about we celebrate with some surf and turf?”

“Oh my god, Andrew! We are not leaving our two newborns at your mother’s house for the night. That’s too much!”

“What if she already said yes?” You have no doubt that your unrepentant husband is smiling hard enough to crack a tooth right about now. 

“You didn’t.” Your head drops to the steering wheel with a light thunk. 

“Oh, I did.” The sound of an eager chuckle spills across the other line. “Ma and Bill are happy to keep Rory and Junior. She said you left them with enough formula and diapers to get ‘em through and that she, and I quote, would be positively heartbroken if you deprived her of time with her precious new grandchildren.”  

“Andy…I don’t know…” As tempting as the thought of a night of uninterrupted slumber was, you were on the fence about being away from your precious babies for that long. 

RoRo needed to be rocked to sleep, while A.J. needed you to pat his little tush and bounce him just so. And they both needed approximately 1,375 kisses every five minutes, otherwise they got fussy. 

“You must really want a good night’s sleep, huh, Big Man?”

“Baby, when I get my hands on you, I promise that sleeping will be the last thing on both of our minds. Now, I’ve gotta run. But I’ll see you home around 4:00pm.”

“Andy…” 

How did you tell your husband that you weren’t really feeling your post-pregnancy body right now? You’d even taken to changing in the bathroom lately. Thankfully he hadn’t seemed to notice that increasingly bad habit of yours…

At least not yet. But it was only a matter of time.

“Hush, sweetness. You just let Daddy take care of everything, okay? I’ve been dreaming of this day for almost two months now, and I plan to take my time loving all over every inch of your delectable body. And what’s more, you’re going to let me.” You can practically feel your nipples pebbling beneath the fabric of your shirt. 

God, how did he always manage to sound so sexy when he was telling you what to do? Handsome ass buttface!

“I’ve gotta head into this meeting, but in the meantime, get some rest. You’re gonna need it.”

“Yeah, okay, sure.” You respond with a resigned sigh. “I…I guess I’ll see you when you get home then.”

“Damn right. Can’t wait to lose myself between those luscious thighs.” Andy rasps, with a slightly roughened edge to his tone. “It’s been way too long since I’ve had a taste…” 

Oh good God…and it had been way too long since you had to deal with beard burn. At this point, you’d almost forgotten about what it felt like.

“Bye, Andy Bear.”

"Goodbye, little love.”

The call ends, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Putting the car in drive, you pull out of the parking lot and start thinking of every argument you could possibly make to talk your sweet, although slightly ogreish, husband out of sexy times and into sleepy times. But there was also something that told you that might not work.

Which meant it was time to come up with a Plan B. And while you were at it, probably a Plan C too.

___

Later That Afternoon...

“This makes me look like an apple with legs.”

You stare at your reflection in the bathroom mirror trying your best not to give in to the overwhelming feeling of defeat. At this point, you’d tried on multiple sets of lingerie – all different styles, cuts, and colors. 

And this one had been the only thing that seemed to look halfway decent.

Well, the good news was that your ass was still there. But the bad news? So was your stomach. 

“Swear to God…I’m gonna find an ocean and throw myself in it.” You mutter as you stare at your reflection. You let out a resigned sigh as you do a little spin. “Knowing my ass can’t swim.” You gently smoosh your hand against your tummy in an attempt to flatten it. 

To be fair, you’d only given birth two months ago and the lingerie you’d purchased was kind of slimming so…

Maybe you were being too hard on yourself. Or, maybe it was still worth trying to convince your husband to settle for an evening filled with dinner and cuddles. You really weren’t in the mood to take your clothes off in front of him at the moment. 

Hell, who were you kidding? You could walk around wearing nothing but fishnets and tinfoil and the man would still find a reason to be into you. 

Sometimes your loving husband was a man of the hopeless variety. 

Plus, while Andrew Barber wouldn’t force you to do anything you didn’t want to do, he would definitely do everything in his power to persuade you. And he could be very persuasive when he put his mind to it. 

Yeah. You were probably fucked.

You take a deep breath and run your fingers through your thick hair, loosening and fluffing your curls. Although Andy would be home any minute, there was still time to throw on sweats and a t-shirt or something. 

“Fuck!” You hiss as your eyes well and your bottom lip begins to tremble. The other problem was that, while you were convinced that you needed more time, you also wanted to make your husband happy. But how could you when you could barely stomach the idea of taking off your clothes in front of him.

Just last week, some asshole at your favorite smoothie bar had the nerve to ask how far along you were – his intrusive gaze lingering on your post-baby body. His audacity had caught you so off guard that you were pretty sure that you’d given some unintelligible answer before snatching your drink and running towards the nearest exit. 

That one little interaction had practically eviscerated what little bit of self-confidence you had left. And while you hadn’t made specific mention of it to Andy, you might end up doing so – if only to plead your case. 

Which was that you were simply too large right now to be sexy, let alone feel attractive. Your skin was too loose, your stretch marks too prominent. And not only that, you were pretty sure that the only reason Andy wanted you right now was because he hadn’t gotten any in a couple of months. 

Once his itch had been sufficiently scratched, the haze would clear and then your husband would see your body for what it was. He would understand your need to undress behind closed doors, without an audience. And then he would give you however much time you needed to get yourself back into some semblance of shape. 

A lone tear slips down your cheek, which only serves to piss you off more. And although you’re quick to dash it away, another one is soon to follow. The last thing you needed for Andrew to notice you’d been crying. There was no need for both of you to feel bad about the state of things, you know?

With one last shake of your head you decide to throw on your robe and head downstairs to greet your man. 

“Let’s get this shit over with.”

___

Ten Minutes Later…

“Baby?” Your husband calls out as he enters the house from the garage. “Baby, I’m home! Where are you?”

“Kitchen!” You go back to busying yourself folding your brand new set of dish towels you’d purchased from Bed, Bath, & Beyond. That store was one of your happy places, second only to Target and Disney World. It also helped that there was one located almost directly across the street from the mall you’d stopped at as well.

Your pulse quickens as you hear him approach, his rapidly falling footsteps coming closer by the second.

“Ah, I found you.” Andy rounds the corner, grinning from ear to ear. “Hi, my gorgeous girl.” His smile somehow grows impossibly wider. “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”  

“Well, here I am.” You cast him a demure glance over your shoulder. “Although, I’m afraid I’m probably not much to look at.” Noticing his hands are surprisingly empty, you attempt to change the subject. “I thought you were gonna stop and grab dinner on the way?” 

“I was.” He cocks his hip against the kitchen counter as loosens his tie. “But since you didn’t seem all that keen on the idea of surf and turf this morning I figured I’d hold off. Maybe see how we were feeling later this evening.”

“Oh.” 

“Oh? Is that all my baby has to say about that?” Andy tosses his tie onto the counter before unfastening the top three buttons of his light blue dress shirt. “Just oh?” 

“Uh, yeah. How was your day?” You were quickly running out of towels to unfold and refold. If you kept it up you were going to start looking like a lunatic.

“Too long for a man who’s been missing his wife the way I have.” His sensual purr is enough to make you weak in the knees. “It was fucking excruciating, Baby Girl.” 

Don’t make eye contact. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t make eye – fuck! Your dumbass just made fucking eye contact!

Your throat suddenly goes dry as the weight of his intense gaze threatens to overwhelm you. Andrew Barber always seemed to have this way about him. Only he had the power to unravel you in this manner. 

It was truly a skill that was his alone. But on days like today, it was also a major nuisance.   

“Come here.” The gentleness of his tone softens the command.

“Umm…” Instead of doing as you’re told you decide to shove those stupid towels you’ve been preoccupied with into a drawer. Which also happens to be the wrong drawer. Kitchen linens didn’t belong with the cutting boards. Anybody with some sense could see that!   

“Sweetheart…” Andy’s voice drops another octave. “Stop fussing with those and come here already. I’d really like to hold my wife.” His earnest plea has your eyes welling with tears.

“Yeah. Okay.” You sniffle out, before dropping the towel and making a headlong dash into his waiting embrace. He wraps his brawny arms around you then, tucking his chin into your thick mane of glossy curls.

The two of you stand there without moving. Holding each other close as your hearts beat in time with one another. Andy’s hand comes to rest on your lower back, his palm slowly rubbing in small, soothing circles. 

“What’s wrong, princess?” He hugs even tighter as you gently nuzzle your face against his chest, effectively wiping off what little bit of makeup you’d managed to apply earlier. “Tell me, please.”

Aww. Your sweet Ogre had even said “please”. 

“Nothing.” Which was also code for everything. 

Andy steps back to tenderly grip your chin, his thumb lightly smoothing across your bottom lip. “You know Daddy doesn’t like it when you lie.” And then he leans in to brush his mouth over your own. “Especially when you’re upset.”

“I know.” The words come out barely above a whisper. “And I’m fine. I just, um…” You go to pull away, surprised when he actually lets you. “I went and did a little shopping today. You know…cuz’ we got the green light. But – well, not the robe. Th–that isn’t new. But once I got it home and really looked at it, I um…” You throw up your hands as everything comes tumbling out in one jumbled mess.

“It just doesn’t fit right, okay? It probably didn’t even fit properly at the boutique when I tried it on and I just didn’t notice. Because the lighting was different and the mirrors are maybe a little more forgiving. Kind of like the ones you find in a funhouse. Except all of them were super flattering. Not like the one we’ve got in our bathroom here at home. Which…I mean that’s probably how they get ya, right?”

Your husband lifts a quizzical brow as you continue to ramble and slowly back away. You knew there was quite literally no possible chance you could manage to outrun your handsome attorney. But that didn’t mean you weren’t above giving it the old college try.   

“So, I’m just gonna go upstairs and peel this ugly thing off. That way neither one of us has to even bother looking at it.” You finish rather lamely.

“And why exactly do you think I wouldn’t want to look at you? How about you explain that one to me, please?” Andy growls, jamming his hands into the pockets of his trousers.                 

“Because I don’t like the way I look right now and I’m pretty sure that if I show you, then you won’t either.”

Andy stares you down, the muscle ticking in his jaw. But you were beyond caring at this point. Right now was about acknowledging the truth regarding your body and the level of comfort you had with it.  

“That’s bullshit, baby.” He rakes an impatient hand through his hair, moussing the auburn strands. “You know I love the way you look. I fucking adore you.”  

“And that last part may very well be true, Big Man.” You concede, toying with the material of your robe. “But I, um...” A lump forms in your throat, but you force yourself to press on. “I do believe you love the way I look when I’m pregnant, yes. So do I…mostly. And you also love the way I look when I’m not pregnant. As in, after I’ve lost a healthy chunk of the baby weight.”  

“What in the–? I mean, Jesus fucking Christ!” Your husband cuts himself off mid-sentence as he rocks back on his heels – as if stunned by your admission. 

“I’m saying this wrong.” Good lord, you needed to get a better handle on the direction of this conversation. “Fuck! I know I am. But I don’t feel very good about myself right now. I don’t want to take off my clothes. I don’t want you to see me in this lingerie. Because I am almost entirely convinced that once you do – once you see all that I’m currently working with – you will change your mind about wanting to sleep with me.”

“You don’t mean that.” Andy scoffs under his breath, which you ignore.

“And if I see that…if I see that switch flip behind your eyes when it finally clicks just how unattractive I truly am…I don’t think I could handle that.”  

As hard as this was, it was important for you to make him understand. And once you were finished, perhaps you could cook the two of you something for dinner.  After that you would simply settle in and enjoy an easy, child-free night.

“Meaning?” Andy grunts.

“Meaning, I’m not taking off this robe tonight.” You blow out a weary breath as your hands go rest on your hips. “In fact, I don’t even know why –”

“Are you finished yet, sweetheart?” Your husband finally interrupts, apparently having had enough of your tirade. “Or do you have more? Because I’ve gotta tell you, as nice as it is that you think you’ve decided all this shit for us, your Daddy has quite a bit to say. So, are you fucking finished?”

“Y–yes.” That strange lump in your throat is back. “But I –”

“Stop. If you’re going to be done, then be done.” Andy interrupts again, scrubbing a tired hand over his face. “Baby Girl…I know what you’re doing. Even if you don’t, even if you can’t see it. I do. And I’m going to put a stop to it right now.”

“I’m just telling us both the truth!” You cry before you can catch yourself. 

“No. You’re feeding us both lies. And I won’t stand for that shit. Not for another goddamned moment. I–I just won’t.”

The passion in his voice is enough to temporarily silence any forthcoming protests. 

“And what’s more,” Andy forges on, “you’re not giving me even a shred of credit here. Which, and I’ve gotta be real honest with you here, kinda pisses me the fuck off.” Now it’s his turn to sigh, although this one is filled with exasperation.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, looking down at your toes.

“Look. At. Me.” The authority in his tone has your head snapping up immediately. 

“Have I ever, and I do mean ever, in all the years we’ve been together, given you any indication that you are anything but beautiful to me?” He takes a step towards you, even as you take one back. “I quite literally worship the ground you walk on, sweetness. Which means that I occasionally notice things, even when you think I don’t.”

Your husband takes another step towards you, and then another. He’s getting closer, purposely crowding you with his big body – essentially trapping you like the predator that he was.   

“There has never been a time, not once, when I have been less than hopelessly attracted to you. I want you all of the goddamned time. And, you know, maybe I should seek professional help for this shit, but I don’t want to. I don’t need to. Because I love my wife. I adore every single inch of you.”

You jump when your back collides with the refrigerator, the cool surface of the stainless steel appliance piercing your skin through the thin fabric of your robe.

“So what is it, Baby Girl? What is that you’ve got under there that’s got you so convinced I’m going to be disgusted by what I see.” Andy levels you with a pointed look as his hands go to gently grip your biceps, caging you in. “What is it you’re trying to hide from me?”

You close your eyes when it becomes too hard to look at the man you loved more than anything - the man who was surely about to become your undoing.     

“While I appreciate your so-called brand of honesty, sometimes it hurts me when you talk about yourself like this. When you doubt yourself in this way. When you doubt me. Doubt us.” Andy briefly rests his forehead against yours before continuing. 

“How am I supposed to help you battle these insecurities if you won’t even let me in the ring, sweetness? Sometimes you make it damn near impossible to – fuck!” He hisses, breaking the almost tender embrace before reminding himself to pause. “Okay.”

“I–I’m sorry, Andrew.” This time you don’t bother trying to fight back the tears when they come. Instead you decide to let them fall, realizing that it might finally be okay to let your husband catch you.

Before you broke completely and shattered into a hundred-million little pieces.   

“Why on earth are you apologizing to me right now?” He cups your face with his hands as he brushes your tears away. “I’m not shaming you. I’m just…” He takes another calming breath. “I’m just talking to you. I thought we were expressing how we felt about things, weren’t we?”

“Yeah.” You give him a quick nod as more tears make their way down your cheeks.  

“Okay.” He presses a sweet kiss to your nose. “Then will you trust me to show you something?” Again you nod before allowing him to lace his fingers through yours and pull you in the direction of the hall.

“Wh–where are we going?”

“Hush.” 

He leads you down the hallway in silence, not stopping until you’re both standing in front of the full-length mirror located in the foyer. And then he reaches around to undo the knot on your robe, sliding it off your shoulders and letting it pool on the floor at your feet. 

“Well, would you look at you? Is this pretty little thing what you bought for me today?”

“Mmhm.” You breathe, resting your head against his broad chest while your man looks his fill. Andy smooths his hands up and down your sides, lovingly kneading your ample curves. “It was the only thing that I felt, um…like it might be okay.”

“You’re fucking gorgeous, Baby Girl.” Andy playfully nips at your ear. “You still trust me? Okay, good. Then let’s take this off, too.” He reaches for the skirt of your lingerie.

“But why?” You whine, attempting to wiggle out of his hold. Unfortunately for you, your Big Man refuses to let you go. “Wait!”

“I think I’ve waited long enough.” Even though he’s pushing you, you can tell he’s also trying to keep a lid on his patience. “We both have. You got to make your case back there in the kitchen, young lady. Which means it’s now time for your Daddy to make his, don’t you think?”

While you weren’t quite sure where this was going, you also weren’t sure if you were ready to use your safe word yet. If that particular rule even applied right now.

“I – alright.” You concede before lifting your arms so that he can help remove the flimsy garment, leaving you naked and bare to his gaze. Goosebumps rise on your vulnerable flesh as you shiver, but it’s not from the cold.

Safe to say, catching a chill was the last thing on your mind. You just wanted to get this shit over with, whatever it was, and then move the fuck on already.

“Be a good girl and open your eyes for me, little love.” Andy purrs, lightly running his fingers through your curls. “I want to show you what I see every time I look at you.” 

It takes you a moment, but eventually you’re able to do as you’re told. But instead of focusing on your own reflection, you choose to look at your husband – taking comfort in the warmth radiating from him.

You wanted to trust him. You really did.     

“Thank you. Now, I want you to do your best to hear me.” Andy begins as his hands come up to rest themselves on your shoulders. “You are gorgeous no matter what size you are. And I am consistently awed by the fact that you, my darling wife, just gave birth to two healthy babies a little over eight weeks ago. My babies.” You receive a tender kiss to the back of your neck.

Your lower lip begins to tremble of its own accord. But this time you don’t look away, instead you follow the path of his fingers as they trail their way down your body.

“It’s because of you, and your magnificent little body, that I’m lucky enough to have four pieces of heaven running around this house, making noise and causing chaos. Giving me both a reason to live again along with a few new gray hairs at the same time.” 

You watch as he lifts your breasts, hefting the erotic weight of them in his palms. He gently massages them, completely unfazed by the light dribble of milk leaking from your left nipple. Instead you’re treated to another roguish grin as his tongue darts out to greedily lap up the stray drops from his knuckles. 

“Fucking delicious. But stop trying to distract me, baby.” He rasps, his tone just shy of teasing. “We both know you’re not quite ready for me to feast just yet.” And then he winks at you, which suddenly has your legs feeling like jelly. 

Although you flinch when his focus shifts to your belly, the pads of his fingers tracing along one of your more prominent stretch marks. He keeps his touch light - bordering on reverent - as he marvels at the angry stripes painted across your skin.

The ones formed out of a natural bond built between a mother and her children. 

“I love this part of you. This part right here where you – aw, no. Please don’t look away from me, honey.” Andy moves to kiss away a fresh wave of tears. “Let me see those eyes.”  

“I…I...” Your mouth clamps shut as you stifle a hiccup. You grant yourself a couple of seconds before opening your eyes again. This time when you do, you gently place your hands on top of his. “I’m sorry. I know, you love this part of me because of the kids. And I get it, I do. But…” You shake your head and give up.

Because something tells you that perhaps you’d be better off just listening for right now. 

“Yes, I absolutely love this part of you because of our rugrats, but that’s not the only reason. It’s because, as much as I adore your tight little pussy and that spankable ass of yours, your belly has always been it for me.”

“What?” Now that has your full attention.    

“I’m not kidding.” He asserts. “I don’t think I’ve ever shared this with you, probably because I thought I’d run the risk of sounding dumb. But your belly has always been my favorite feature because it’s…it’s my anchor.”

Your husband’s heartfelt admission actually has the nerve to throw you for a bit of a loop.   

“I’m serious.” Andy continues, leaning down to press a hard kiss to your cheek. “There’s something about whenever the world feels like it’s falling apart all around me and then I reach for you, because that’s what I do. And you’re always there for me, my love. Always.” He gives you a light squeeze. “And without fail, you just let me hold you like this, wherever we are. And I just…I feel better.”

“Swear to God, I’m a grown-ass man, but this part of you brings me so much comfort. I understand the fact that you struggle with accepting your body the way it is right now, especially after welcoming the twins. But please believe me when I tell you that where you only seem to see your flaws, I see strength. I see incomparable beauty.” 

Andy takes that moment to fully envelope you, wrapping his arms tightly around your middle and burying his face in your hair. You allow yourself to stand there for a little while, drinking in the sight of your devoted husband holding your nude body.

You’ve never felt more loved. More cherished than you did right now.  

“Andy Bear…” You whisper, your voice filled with emotion. “I…I don’t quite see what you see. Not yet. But I do think I feel it now. More than I did anyway.” 

You let out a surprised yip when he spins you around. His intoxicating blue eyes bore into your own as his hands move to tease the globes of your ass.

“You should know that I wasn’t finished yet, princess. I just spent the last several minutes composing a sonnet dedicated to that greedy pussy of yours. Then there’s those luscious thighs, and that ass. I also never really had a thing for feet until I met you, but I’m particularly fond of those too. I’m prepared to wax poetic about it all because I want you to see what I see.” 

A laugh bubbles up in your chest. And when you decide to let it loose, it’s quite literally the most wonderful feeling in the world. You feel lighter than you have in days.

It’s enough to make you start crying all over again.   

“I love you, Andrew Barber.” You murmur, rising on your tiptoes to take his lips in a brief kiss. “And I know you had what I’m sure was one hell of a speech planned, and while I really hate to cut it short, I’m thinking I might wanna take you to bed now.”

“Oh?” His tone is rife with cautious optimism. “Is that right?”

“Yeah.” Giving in to impulse, you proceed to tickle his ears. He makes a show of batting your hands away as he playfully dodges your advances – much to your delight. Although he eventually puts an end to things by picking you up and holding you close.

“But can we maybe take it slow?” You ask as you snuggle into his chest, basking in the safety and security of his familiar scent. 

“Of course.” Andy murmurs as he spins on his heel and heads towards the direction of the stairs. “We have all night, my precious girl.”  

That was the moment you knew without a doubt. The moment you finally believed that everything he’d said, every word he’d spoken to you, had been nothing but the truth.  

And later that night, when you collapsed on the bed feeling completely sated with one another, you thanked your lucky stars that fate had led you into the arms of the one and only Andrew Barber.

END

For more about Andy and Reader's first time making love after welcoming their twins, be sure to check out the sequel, The Green Light: Afterglow.

[taintedevesayori]

⚰️ Diatober ⚰️

Day 20: Mukami and Day 22: Scars

| Prompts by @fruit-of-infidelity | Masterlist

((The second half of this is NSFW but I will put that portion under a cut. TW: scars, abuse))

It was pouring outside, and Kou and Sayo's clothes were completely soaked through by the time they got back to the manor. After a lecture from Ruki about tracking water into the house, the two decided to just rush to the closest bathroom to dry off instead of their rooms to change.

“Hey, come help me,” Kou called out to her. “I’m no good with buttons.”

She laughed lightly, deciding to tease him a little. “How do you even get your shirt on and off then?”

Even though she teased him about it, she still walked over to unbutton his shirt anyway. He immediately let it fall to the floor before using the towel to dry off. As she was about to do the same, she stopped, her eyes wide.

“Kou…your back…”

“Oh, this?” He turned to give her a better look.

There were multiple scars. She stumbled forward, gently placing her hand on his back. 

“Want to hear a story, kitten? It’s a fairy tale about a little boy and his brothers.”

And so, he told her everything. How he had grown up living in the sewers, only desiring to escape so he could see the sky. How when he did escape, he was taken to an orphanage and given ‘better’ treatment since they saw him as beautiful. How the aristocrats of that place did unspeakable things to him, even causing the loss of his eye because he hoped that would make it stop. How he had met Ruki, Yuma, and Azusa in that place…and how they were almost killed for trying to escape. The only reason they survived….was because Karlheinz turned them. 

Sayo could barely comprehend it. They had all been through that much pain….? Kou was forced to suffer through those injuries for their entertainment? Now she finally knew what he meant when he admitted they were similar. She couldn’t stop herself. Her head fell against his back, her body shaking from the tears that wouldn’t stop spilling. It was awful…and so cruel…yet he spoke so calmly about it. But Sayo knew…how badly he must hurt deep down because of it. She couldn’t even imagine it. 

“Why are you crying, Sayo?” He turned, taking her face in his hands so he could dry her tears. “You’re going to freeze to death if you don’t dry off. Need me to help?”

She turned away from him, pulling off the towel she had wrapped around her body. Using one hand to hold it to her chest, her other hand fumbled with the buttons of her shirt. Kou was surprised. He didn’t expect her to actually take anything off.

Her shirt fell from her shoulders as she covered her chest with the towel. After moving her hair over her shoulder, he was able to see what she was trying to show him.

“Speaking so carefree about such a thing…” she mumbled. “I couldn’t do the same…”

His surprise turned to shock. She didn’t have as many as he did, but there were long scars across her back. They were visible to herself in the mirror, which only made her stomach turn. 

“Slapping me around wasn’t all the nuns did…” her voice was barely above a whisper. “They were told to make my life miserable after Shiro died. He was their child…yet I was the cause of his death. They already didn’t care for me. When they found out what happened, they were furious. They wanted me dead, but they couldn’t kill me because of that man. So they wanted to make me wish I was dead instead. The head nun…her favorite form of punishment was caning.”

Before she had the chance to wrap the towel around herself, Kou grabbed her from behind, causing her to drop it. His arms were wrapped tightly around her, his face pressed against the side of her neck. 

“Those pieces of shit…” He was practically shaking from anger. “I should fucking kill them!”

Even if she had cried for him, she never would have expected this sort of reaction after he told his story with such little emotion. She had no clue how to respond. 

“No wonder you hated that place. The more I hear about it, the more pissed off I get. I want them to suffer the same way you did.”

His grip began to tighten until it was more than just a little uncomfortable. 

“Kou…you’re squeezing too tight.”

“Ah…” he muttered, coming back to reality. “Sorry…”

He loosened his grip, allowing her to turn towards him. 

“As much as I would like them dead…they help a lot more people than they hurt. The patrons of the church look to them for guidance. Even if I don’t believe in it…a lot of people do.”

“You’re too kind to people who don’t deserve it.”

“Maybe…” 

((NSFW below the cut))

Now that he wasn’t completely clouded by emotion, he realized she had dropped her towel. Her bra was plain black, which didn’t surprise him. He really wanted to spoil her with something cuter but knew how hard it would be to get her to accept it. 

“Why are you staring?” She knit her brows together in confusion.

“Hm~” He smirked. “No reason…”

She glanced down and realized what he was staring at. Her face flushed bright red as she tried to cover herself with her arms. 

“W-Why didn’t you say something?!” She exclaimed. 

“I couldn’t,” he chuckled. “I was mesmerized by your beauty.”

“Stop joking…” She flipped around so he couldn’t see. 

But that meant she couldn’t see him coming. He wrapped his arms around her once more…only the mood had changed significantly.

“Don’t hide, Sayo…I want to see more. Your chest, your thighs….everything.”

“That’s embarrassing…”

“I’ll show you my body too. Aren’t you curious to see?” He whispered in her ear.

Her heart felt like it was beating out of her chest. The logical choice would be to grab a towel and run out of the bathroom…but she couldn’t move. 

“I’ve got a great idea. We can just bathe together. That will take care of everything.”

“B-Bathe together…? You can’t be serious. We can’t do something like that…”

“Of course we can. You don’t have to act so pure, ya know? My fangs have slowly been corrupting your body…”

“Why would you…phrase it like that?” She was only becoming more flustered by the second. 

“Because it’s true?”

“Ngh…”

She sighed in relief when he let her go. But that relief didn’t last very long. He walked past her, turning on the water for the bathtub. Until now, she was thinking of it as a big joke to spare herself, but there was no doubt that he was serious after that. He grinned, walking back over to press his lips against hers.

“You have to take me seriously now, right?”

Her mind was blank. All she could do was stand there, shellshocked, as he took his pants off. Kou was thoroughly enjoying her reactions. It was amazing to see such a strong willed girl become so flustered she couldn’t even think. 

“Come on, Sayo. Snap out of it or I’m going to strip you right now~”

“D-Don’t do that!” She came back to her senses. 

He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer.

“Well? Will you bathe with me, Sayo?”

“I…I shouldn’t…” she mumbled.

“I didn’t ask if you should or not. I asked if you will.”

She couldn’t bring herself to answer. Why couldn’t she outright refuse? She knew she should. But…her heart was pounding….and even though she was freezing, a part of her felt hot. Kou was in front of her in only his underwear…She wouldn’t have expected herself to react like this. Her normal response would be to yell at him when he first started undressing and leave the room. What was happening to her…? Did she…actually feel something for him?

“Still can’t decide?” He asked since she had been silent for too long. “Guess I shouldn’t be surprised. You’re pretty clueless, after all. Well, while the tub fills up I’m going to clean off. Watch the water for me to make sure it doesn’t overflow, alright?”

Kou stepped back, slipping off his last article of clothing. She let out a squeak of surprise, flipping around before she could see anything. He walked over to the shower, turning the water on. 

“If you’re looking at the wall, you won’t be able to see if the tub overflows,” he said after a moment. 

She grimaced, knowing he was right. Somehow she managed to find her way over to the bathtub without looking at him. She sat down on the side of the tub, watching the water fill up instead. But after a moment, she realized she was a fool for doing as he said. She should have just left the bathroom immediately. This was going to end badly….There was still time for her to run off, and yet, she stayed put. Kou had her exactly where he wanted her. 

“You really should come join me, kitten~” 

“I’m watching the tub, aren’t I…? I can’t.”

“What a crappy excuse,” he laughed. “You didn’t have to listen. It would be better if you came over here.”

The bathtub was almost completely full, so she shut off the water. Now she didn’t have an excuse…She had stayed this long, knowing what would probably happen. Could she really deny that, deep down, she wanted to stay…? That she was curious to find out what would happen? She had the feeling Kou had figured it out already…

“Aren’t you done now?” he prompted her again. “Come rinse off so we can get in the bath.”

There was no point in resisting anymore….Sayo stood, taking a few steps towards the shower. She refused to look anywhere but Kou’s face. Her hands moved to the zipper of her skirt, but she couldn’t get farther than unzipping it. She froze up before she could take it all the way off. 

“Guess you really are innocent after all,” Kou shook his head, but was smiling anyway. 

He walked over, placing his hands on hers. 

“Do you want my help?”

If she was left to do it on her own, she felt like she would continue to falter forever. As embarrassing as it was, she gave a hesitant nod before slipping her hands out from under his. He smirked, feeling rather triumphant as he let her skirt fall to the floor. Her panties were simple and plain black as well. 

He couldn’t help but sigh. “I’m buying you something cute after all.”

“Stop judging my clothing…” she grumbled. “It’s not like I’ll be able to give it back if you do buy me something…”

“Then I’ll surprise you. But for now, these come off…”

His fingers easily unclasped her bra. For someone who had a hard time with buttons, she couldn’t believe he undid it in one try. It was tossed to the floor, along with her panties. His lips locked with hers as he pulled her under the water. 

“As much as I would love to relax in the bath and watch you, I think I’ll help this time,” he whispered in her ear. 

She was completely embarrassed the entire time he was helping her wash up. Before she knew it, they were sitting in the bath together. Despite the fact it wasn’t big enough for each of them to have their own space, she still attempted to keep her distance.

“There’s no point in staying away now,” he moved closer to her. “You’re still embarrassed even though I’ve had my hands all over you?”

“Phrasing it like that is even more embarrassing…” she muttered. 

“You’re too cute, Sayo,” he laughed. 

“I’m really not…”

“Don’t say that,” he pinned her against the side of the tub. 

Moving his head down, he licked her neck, sending a shiver down her spine. 

“Your skin and lips are so soft….and your body is beautiful.”

He moved further down, biting the top of her breast.

“Ngh…” she winced. “Kou…if you say things like that…I’m going to think-”

“That I have feelings for you?” He looked up, locking eyes with her. “I thought that was obvious. Have you really not figured that out by now? I’m the one who doesn’t know how you feel.”

“I….”

His eye began to glow red. There was no way to lie to him now….and didn’t he deserve an answer after all this?

“You can be a real pain in my ass sometimes….but somehow…I think I do like you…”

He had never looked so happy before. “If you had lied to me, I would have had to punish you.”

“You really know how to ruin the moment,” she sighed. 

“It won’t be ruined for long,” he whispered in her ear before moving to kiss her. 

“Mm…” she wrapped an arm around him. 

As the two exchanged heated kisses, Kou’s hands roamed Sayo’s body. Her thoughts were muddled. All she could think about was how much she really did care for him…

“I’ve never felt like this before…” he muttered before biting the back of her neck. 

Her blood mixed with his feelings for her was intoxicating. It was always hard to stop himself from drinking too much, so he needed to be even more careful now. But he was at his breaking point…and couldn’t hold back any longer. 

“I’m going to make you mine, Sayo…” he kissed her ear while reaching down to pull her legs around him. “There’s no going back.”

[pixiedustandpetrichor]

For the @sapphicnovember prompt: Rain

Very much a rare pair, I know, but I had an idea that I just had to write

beneath the cut for mentions of domestic abuse

Come in With the Rain

It is raining when Mary Macdonald first arrives at number four Privet Drive. Petunia likes to think that the raindrops are tears, in honor of Lily. When she answers the door she vaguely recognizes Macdonald from summers when Lily would invite her friends over, and from Lily’s wedding. She takes a moment, just a moment, to admire the way the raindrops don’t touch Macdonald, swerving around her with some sort of magic. It reminds her of herself; the way she won’t let the tears touch her, won’t let herself cry.

Macdonald glares at her and asks fiercely.

“Where’s the boy?”

Petunia knows she’s a witch, and she’ll find her way in anyway, so she leads her into the house, wondering what Vernon will think. She opens the door to the cupboard beneath the stairs, revealing the tears stained boy within.

“You keep him in a closet?” Macdonald asks. Petunia can feel the air around them crackling with magic and she flinches. She hates the feel of magic.

“I-” Petunia mutters softly. “Vernon insisted.”

Something in the way she says it catches Macdonald’s attention.

“You always do what your husband tells you to?”

Petunia bristles.

“Of course! I am a dutiful wife.” If not a good one, finishes her mind. But that isn’t her fault. It’s just that Vernon Dursley will never be enough for her. No man will. 

Macdonald bites her lip, studying her, but she seems to think better of whatever she was going to say.

“I’m taking the boy.”

“You can’t!” Petunia protests, loud enough that Dudley awakes upstairs and begins to cry. “You can’t.” She repeats in a normal tone, and then she outlines the rules of the magical protection around the boy.

Macdonald wavers, but eventually she leaves with the solid threat that she’ll be back.

It is raining the second time Macdonald shows up, but this time Petunia thinks the sky doesn’t cry for Lily. She selfishly imagines it cries for her. But she’s done her makeup, smoothing pale cream over purple, and so she answers the door with a pasted on smile.

This time they sit in the living room, and Macdonald holds Harry and Petunia holds Dudley and Petunia can almost pretend this is normal.

Macdonald comes at least once a week now, but always when it’s raining, and the rest of the time Petunia can pretend that she is just a figment of her imagination; a spirit she created to deal with her own loneliness. They’ve become friends, now, sort of, though Petunia still calls her Macdonald and Macdonald insists on calling her Evans. Petunia prefers it to Dursley, though she’ll never admit it. 

She always knocks and waits at the door, until one day when she appears directly in the hallway. Petunia shrieks and jumps backward before recognizing her. She raises her hands up to cover her face, but it’s too late. Macdonald sees, and her mouth drops open.

“What the hell’s going on up there?” Vernon calls. He’s still angry about Petunia moving Harry to the guest bedroom, but she can’t bring herself to regret that decision. She’s grown fond him, and his little bursts of magic don’t remind her of her complicated, never resolved relationship with her sister anymore, but of the quiet mornings and afternoons spent with Macdonald.

Petunia raises a finger to her lips and puts on her best calm voice.

“Nothing, dear.”

A few moments later, the door slams. Distantly, she can hear the car start up and drive away. Only then does Macdonald speak.

“He did this to you?”

Petunia knows the bruise around her eye is puffy and that there’s a scrape on her cheek. It probably looks really bad to an outsider. She was on her way to put on her makeup when Macdonald arrived unannounced. 

Petunia turns away, gazing out the window at the gently falling rain, and thinks she should have known.

“Only sometimes,” She’s disgusted by how meek her voice sounds. “Only when he’s had a bad day, or I don’t do something right. It’s not a big thing.”

“Petunia.” Her name sounds so precious coming from Macdonald. She never knew it could be so beautiful. “Look at me,” It’s a request, not a command, and she turns around to see that Macdonald’s eyes are filled with tears. Macdonald raises her hand to cup Petunia’s uninjured cheek, and Petunia freezes, heart beating loudly in her ears. Without taking her eyes from hers, Macdonald raises her wand and traces it gently across her face. Petunia can feel the pain fade, the cut stitching itself. A tear slips from Macdonald’s eye, a perfect little raindrop, and Petunia decides she doesn’t hate the feeling of magic after all.

She can feel it now, crackling the air with anticipation rather than anger now. She is poised on a precipice, feeling as though the rain and wind might sweep her away at any moment. Macdonald leans in-

Petunia turns away. 

Macdonald is so, so good, and Petunia thinks it will be a while yet before she’s worthy of her, if she ever will be.

Macdonald stands with her mouth parted, watching her, for just a moment, but she gathers herself quickly.

“We need to go. I’m taking you away from this place, from him.”

“I can’t-”

“I’m taking Harry away from him.”

“Alright.” Petunia’s strength leaves her and she nods.

“Get Dudley and your things and meet me down stairs,” Macdonald tells her, and then she’s gone, a trace of her perfume hanging about the hall.

Petunia doesn’t have much in things; everything she wants to take fits easily in a suitcase along with Dudley’s favorite toys.

Dudley’s in his crib, fast asleep, one hand curled beneath a chubby cheek. He looks so perfect that Petunia’s heart aches. She feels a sudden rush of certainty. This is the right thing to do; to raise Dudley away from Vernon and his influence.

He wakes when she picks him up, burbling happily up at her. 

“We’re going on an adventure,” She tells him, bouncing him on her hip. He smiles, oblivious, and she realizes he’ll never remember any of this when he’s older. And that might be a good thing.

Downstairs, Macdonald is waving her wand about the room, holding Harry close with her other hand.

“Ready, Evans?” She asks when Petunia steps into the room.

“Ready, Mary.” She replies, and Mary beams. Together, they walk to the door. “What were those spells for?”

“Curses, mostly, and a few so that he won’t try to find you.”

“What kind of curses?” She asks, filled with a sudden, bitter, righteous need for revenge.

“A lot of kinds; but for now let’s just say his dick won’t be standing on its own without a crutch anytime soon. Or ever.”

And Petunia laughs in spite of herself. She grabs Mary’s hand and they step out into the pouring rain, droplets caressing their faces like kisses, or tears. Mary holds her hand tightly and suddenly they’re teleporting away, free as the wind and the rain.

[terrifictoonman]

Prompt: As a Barbarian, you hate that just because you have a different lifestyle, your party looks down on you and assumes you are incapable of basic intelligent thought. Today you had enough.

By: writing-prompt-s [Tumblr]

Paw-larity Insues

True North, an Adventuring Party based in Utoplion, was hired to assist a former town-turned-aspiring kingdom, Larthadrose, due to them having helped the new kingdom several times in the past. Their mission was to help protect the kingdom’s only delegate as they made their way to Utoplion for an assembly to decide the fate of their home. Upon arrival, the delegate requested the party’s werewolf barbarian, Huskveiler “Husk” Lunes, as their personal guard during her stay. While the rest of the party had their concerns, they had no real reason to deny their request.

Sir Conner, a old paladin, was at a local bar, enjoying a book and a small drink when Fynn, his party’s gnome alchemist, poked her head from behind the bar. When Conner noticed, he nearly drew his axe.

“Fynn! What are you doing here?” asked Conner.

“Bored,” replied Fynn. “Was gonna spice up some of these drinks, sit back, and watch the fireworks.” Conner grabbed Fynn’s head like a ball and pulled her over the counter.

��Where’s your sister?” asked Conner.

“Where else? Still, back at the shop glued to that magic tome, we found,” said Fynn as she climbed onto the seat next to Conner. “I know I’m the problem child and all, but that girl has a problem.” Fynn pulls a glowing vial from her pouch, pops the cork off, and drinks the whole thing in less than a second. Fynn then burps a small storm cloud, complete with thunder and lightning, and smiles as it floats away.

“Every day, you find new ways to shock and concern me,” said Conner.

“Mystery keeps the relationship fresh,” said Fynn. “Speaking of mystery. I didn’t take “Sir High and Mighty” to be a barfly. So, what’s your vice, old man?” Fynn reached for Conner’s glass, but the paladin managed to keep her away from it.

“My faith doesn’t forbid vices,” said Conner, “as long as I acknowledge and control them, I may drink as much as I wish.” Fynn burps again after finishing off Conner’s drink.

“Man! You call this a drink?” yelled Fynn. “I’ve had unicorn piss stronger than this!” Fynn slaps the table, getting the demonic bartender's attention. “Sir, two glasses of whatever can make a grown man cry on the rocks.” Fynn drops some gold coins on the counter. “And a shot of milk for my friend.” 

With a low, gruff growl, the bartender begins to take bottles off the shelf and mix them. He poured a dark red drink into two glasses, sliding them over to Conner and Fynn. Along with a shot glass filled with white milk. 

“So?” asked Fynn, “You think our little diplomat’s enjoying Husk’s services?”

“Not this again!” groaned Conner.

“Oh, come on, don’t tell me you don’t see it,” said Fynn. “She’s dainty and smart, he’s tough and dumb, and they’ve almost died together several times. A perfect match if there ever was one.”

“Lady Lorelei is on a critical diplomatic mission for her kingdom,” said Connor, “I doubt that holds much importance for her at the moment.” Fynn snickers at Conner’s use of words or lack thereof.

“Alright then, answer me this,” said Fynn as they finished off Conner’s drink, “why else would she ask Husk to be her personal guard?” Conner looked at Fynn, confused.

“For protection,” answered Conner, “there are plenty of people who could benefit from kidnapping the sole diplomat of a new kingdom in desperate need of aid.”

“But then why just Husk?” asked Fynn. “I mean, this is your home. You know this place like the back of your hand. Plus, you might have a more political sway, given your heritage. Or Dev, the former assassin for one of the largest bands of criminals in the nation. He can spot danger coming from miles away and can take care of it without making a sound.”

“Maybe it's for intimidation?” said Conner.

“Sure, that could work,” said Fynn, “if he didn’t work for the most upstanding adventure guild in the kingdom. Sure, the red fur, sharp teeth, and piercing yellow eyes would scar the shit out of most soldiers on the battlefield, but not in a room with the people who are essentially his bosses. I’d also like to reiterate that Dev is a well-known assassin.”

Conner struggles to think of a counter-argument while Fynn drinks his glass of milk, slamming it on the counter. “Think about it: she’s in a room with pompous old men who hold the future of her home in their hands. She’s spending the whole day bargaining without a leg to stand on, probably having to accept a bunch of bullshit terms that only really help Utoplion. That’s gotta be unbearably frustrating. So what better way to deal with that frustration than to let a war-torn, seven-foot-tall, built like an orc, and just as dumb wolfman destroy her?”

“Good lord would just- just stop!” begged Conner. In the brief silence, the two notice the bartender not so sneakily eavesdropping on their conversation. The bartender coughs as he quickly picks up a glass and cleans it. Fynn bursts out laughing.

“So,” said Fynn, “how does it feel to run an escort service?”

“That’s it!” said Conner as he stood from his chair. “I’m going to find Husk.”

“Gonna give her a two-for-one deal?” mocked Fynn.

“No! To prove your gutter drowned mind wrong!” said Conner as he sped toward the door. However, he was blocked by a wall of thick, damp red and white fur. Conner had walked into a werewolf wearing pants, what remained of a fancy shirt, and a vest.

“I thought I heard you guys in here,” said Husk before pulling Conner away from him. “Since when did you drink?” Conner spit out as much fur from his mouth as he could, with little success.

“Bartender,” said Fynn. “gonna need another glass of milk…” Lorelei, a young woman in fancy clothes, stepped from behind Husk and into the bar. “And a pillow if you would be so kind.”

“That is very considerate of you,” said Lorelei, taking a seat next to Fynn. “No offense to the royal family, but they should heavily invest in adding cushioned seating to their diplomacy hall.” Husk and Conner take seats at the bar, the former pushing his stool to its limits.

“So, why were you guys looking for me?” asked Husk.

“Well-” Fynn started.

“That’s not important right now!” Conner interrupted. “Lorelei, how are the negotiations going?”

“Ugh!” groaned Lorelei. Husk pats their back with his massive hand.

“Yeah, it’s been a tough few days,” said Husk.

“Tough? Tough does not begin to describe what I’ve been through,” said Lorelei. “Again, no offense to your kingdom, Sir Conner.” Conner uses his glass of milk like mouthwash, spitting it back into the glass with a few extra patches of fur.

“No offense taken, friend,” said Conner. “My grandfather was a delegate for the kingdom since he was young, and he always talked about how his best day was the day he retired.”

“Never have I missed my council more than this past week,” said Lorelei, “Thankfully, I’ have had Husk to keep me sane.” A devious grin stretched across Fynn’s face.

“How so?” asked Fynn.

“Above all else, he has been excellent company,” said Lorelei. “I would have gone mad my first night without him.”

“Go on,” said Fynn, prompting Conner to hit her in the arm.

“Uh, well, due to the more complex nature of your legal system,” said Lorelei, “I spent many late nights researching as much as possible. I often became frustrated, so I sought out Husk, who was more than happy to aid me. Due to the nature of his career, I suspected he would be able to keep up with me. However, his stamina easily dwarfed my own.”

“Hey, don’t you go underselling,” said Husk, “you pushed yourself hard every second of every minute of every hour!” With every word, Conner turned a brighter shade of red, and Fynn’s grin grew longer. “Let me tell you, this woman is non-stop! I mean, every chance she had, we were back at it. In the library, in her chamber, in the courtyard. Heck, if we thought the Wigheads were about to go on a ramble, we’d sneak out for a few.”

“Are you serious!” said Conner and Fynn in unison.

“And we were never caught,” said Lorelei as she high fived Husk.

“Sounds like you two had quite the adventure,” said Fynn, struggling to keep from laughing. Meanwhile, Conner buried his face in his hands from embarrassment, whispering a prayer.

“We really did,” said Husk, “I’ll be honest, I wasn’t excited at first, but after some prodding, I was surprised to find out how much I enjoyed it.”

“...what?” asked Fynn.

“It is not out of the ordinary,” said Lorelei. “For men like Husk, it can be difficult to take it all in. Most would have surrendered after the first few seconds, but Husk saw a challenge.”

“And I never back down from a challenge!” said Husk. “You guys should give it a try. Who knows, maybe I can show you guys something for a change.” Fynn quickly joined Conner in the “red face” club alongside the bartender as he handed them drinks.

“Are you both feeling well?” asked Lorelei. “You look flush?”

“I-I-I think we had a bit too much to drink,” stuttered Fynn. “Probably should be getting back anyway. It’s getting late.”

“Didn’t Conner only have milk?” asked Husk.

“Also, the sun has only just now set,” Lorelei continued.

“You know what the boss says,” said Fynn, “Early to rest, early to rise!” Fynn leaped down from their chair and dragged a still-praying Conner out the door with them. “See you tomorrow!” A few seconds after the two left, Husk and Lorelei looked at each other and exploded into a laughing fit.

“Did you see the looks on their faces?” asked Husk.

“I believed that they would have exploded if they had stayed,” said Lorelei. “What fools! No offense!”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Husk, “serves ‘em right for assuming, even more for forgetting that my hearing is better than theirs.”

“So when do you plan on telling them the truth?” asked Lorelei.

“...eventually,” said Husk as he sipped his drink.

“Do you know what “eventually” means in my home?” asked Lorelei. “Between “now” and “never,” I would prefer that you do the former.”

“I dunno,” said Husk, “I mean, I didn’t really do anything. I just noticed a few things, that’s all.”

“Yes,” said Lorelei, “ and those “few things” led to financial aid for construction and development, a sizable defensive force, and my people being put on the Golden Route. In case you forgot, that means direct trade with some of the most affluent kingdoms in the nation! You helped my home take that first step to becoming a true kingdom.”

“But what if it was just luck?” asked Husk, “what if I just end up embarrassing myself and my team by believing I’m something that I’m not.”

“You know what I believe?” asked Lorelei. “I believe that you are not the dumb barbarian everyone thinks you are. I believe that you have a natural affinity for researching not only the law but also whatever draws your interest. I believe you are not the most embarrassing member of your team, and even if you don’t believe in any of that now…” Lorelei places their hand on top of Husk’s as the the two look at each other. “I will believe in you until you can believe in yourself.”

The two smiles at each other until Lorelei notices something behind Husk and motions him to look. He turns around to see the bartender cleaning another cup, with bloodshot eyes and tear streaks down his face. He quickly wipes his face with the cleaning rag before racing into a backroom.

“You think that means the drinks are free?” asked Husk.

“Hope so,” said Lorelei before chugging her drink, “Because I have seven days of blah I need to wash down.”

---{A Few Hours Later}---

Lorelei and Husk walk out of the bar, stumbling into each other every couple of steps. As they walk back to the royal housing, Husk notices Lorelei looking at his back.

“Is there something on me?” asked Husk. “Blink twice if it has a weapon.”

“No, It is just…what are those straps for, on the back of your vest?” asked Lorelei. “It has been nagging at me for the longest time.” Husk grins as he turns his back to Lorelei.

“Grab on,” said Husk. Lorelei grips the straps. Husk jerks forward, pulling Lorelei onto his back as his human features morph until he becomes a giant wolf. Husk looks back at Lorelei with a smug look.

“Cooooooool!” said Lorelei. “How fast can you go?!” With a proud bark, Husk sprints forward. Reaching top speed in seconds, Lorelei grips the straps with everything they have. Husk jumped onto the roof of a small building, working his way up until he was leaping from rooftop to rooftop with Lorelei laughing on his back. It was at that point that Lorelei felt a raindrop hit her head. They pulled themself as close as they could to Husk’s ear. “It is going to rain!”

Husk’s eyes widen as he makes a hard turn towards royal housing. He tries to leap across a massive moat that separates the royal housing from the town but misjudges the jump slightly, sending him and Lorelei into the center of the river.

---{One Drenched Sprint Later}---

A soaking-wet Husk carrying a slightly less wet Lorelei charged through their chamber door. Lorelei jumps out of Husk's arms and quickly lights the fireplace along with every candle in their room. Husk runs into Lorelei’s bathroom and shakes himself dry before joining them at the fireplace. The two sit and let the fires warm them up a bit before Lorelei walks into their bathroom.

“What the Hell!” yelled Lorelei.

----------

Lorelei walks out of the bathroom wearing a robe while Husk, now semi-humanoid, continues to sit by the fire. Lorelei stands over Husk with their hand out. Husk takes their hand, thinking that they would help pull him up, but Lorelei slips from his grasp, dropping Husk on his butt.

“Coin bag. Now,” ordered Lorelei. Husk hands over a small damp cloth bag. Lorelei pulled out a few silver and a couple of gold in spite of Husk’s pouting face and placed the coins on a nearby table. “Thank you for offering to pay the poor servant they send to clean up your nightmare.”

“My pleasure,” groaned Husk. Lorelei grabbed the blanket off of her bed and wrapped it around Husk before sitting down next to him. “For the record, this blanket’s on you.”

“Fair enough,” said Lorelei. The two sit in silence for a while, letting the fireplace's heat wrap around them like a second blanket. Lorelei leans closer into Husk. “I meant what I said you know. With your talent, you could become smarter than most scholars could ever dream of.”

“I know, and you’re right,” said Husk. “I just wish I never had to prove myself. If anyone else did what I did but messed up, society would have just assumed that they just didn’t learn enough, but my kind was bred, born, and raised as tools for war. To do anything else and fail just pushes the narrative forward that at the end of the day, all I am and all I’ll ever be is a mindless beast that can pretend to be human.”

“Husk,” said Lorelei, “you are just one person. Your actions should not carry such weight. All that should matter is that you are happy with your life, and no one else can control that but you.”

Lorelei feels Husk pull away from her. She turns to see the blanket shrink around him down to a quarter of his original size.

Husk now had wet almond skin with large patches of crimson-red fur on the sides of his face, chest, and arms. His ears had a tall point, like an elf, and his clothes, while they still fit, were looser. Lorelei closes the distance, leaning against Husk again.

“Thank you,” said Husk.

“It is the least I can do,” said Lorelei.

“So does that mean…?” asked Husk

“No, you can not have your coin back,” answered Lorelei.

“Ok, just checking,” said Husk.

[luvfae]

Could you do a my favourite Henderson with the prompts Angst 7 and 12 and romance 34 ? Absolutely loving the series brilliant storyline

MY FAVOURITE

HENDERSON

PART NINETEEN

fandom: stranger things

parings: eddie x f henderson reader

warnings: swearing, reader being a bully lol, violence, mention of sex

34: “i’m so in love with you even the thought of losing you makes me feel sick.”

7: “do you wish i was more like her?”

12: “i see the way you look at her.”

masterlist

While you have had your fair share of encounters with other guys, you had never seen another girl even approach Eddie. Until today and to say you were pissed was an understatement.

I mean who did she think she was? Talking to your man. You wanted to scream, wanted to run right up to her and beat the shit out of her, embarrass her in front of everyone, but honestly, you’d only be embarrassing yourself.

Finally, you understood how Eddie felt when Jason asked you on a date and when Tony had his hands all over you.

So you did what you were best at when it came to people you hated, something that you grown up participating in, you bullied her. Was it morally right? No, but man did it feel good to watch that bitch run out of the cafeteria in tears after you called her a loser and made fun of her outfit.

But it didn’t stop her because you saw her laughing with him again after school, you narrowed your eyes at the scene, hands balling into fists as you stalked your way over to the pair of them, your cheerleading dress swaying aggressively.

You barged your shoulder into the girl, glaring hard at her. “Are you blind? Get out of my fucking way,” you said, scoffing at her. You watched as her bottom lip quivered and you smirked. “Aww, are you gunna cry?” You mocked her.

She turned on her heel running away from you and you laughed to yourself.

“What the fuck was that?!” Eddie exclaimed. Your eyes snapped onto him.

“She should learn to keep her hands to herself,” you replied with a shrug.

Eddie blinked down at you. “Henderson, people don’t even know that we’re seeing each other,” Eddie replied. “Besides, Sarah is no threat-“

“Ohh Sarah, so we’re on first name basis now?” You asked, sarcastically.

“Yes, Sarah… All she wants is to join Hellfire Club,” Eddie said.

You laughed, staring at him in disbelief. “You’re joking, right? Have you not seen the way she looks at you? She doesn’t just want to join Hellfire Club, she wants the fucking leader to be inside of her,” you said, hands on your hips.

“She doesn’t…” Eddie replied, pinching the bridge of his nose. “And even if that’s what she wants, I only want you. So you have nothing to worry about, I promise,” he said.

Your lips curved into a smile. “I wish I could kiss you right now,” you said.

Eddie looked around, seeing all the mass amounts of people that were leaving the school. “Soon,” he smiled in return.

-

But that wasn’t the last time you encountered Sarah getting a little too close to your man, in fact she got more and more touchy feely as the days went by and you only had so much patience. And every time Eddie reassured you that there was nothing to worry about, but your gut was telling you otherwise. Sarah wanted Eddie and you knew it, but Eddie didn’t think the same.

So, here you were, making your way to the classroom that Hellfire met up in, sexually frustrated and pissed off from watching another girl eye fuck your man in front of you all day, praying that he would rearrange your guts if you asked nicely.

The door was ajar and you stuck your head inside after hearing muffled voices.

“Sarah, no,” Eddie said, stepping away from her. “I have a girlfriend.”

Sarah giggled, her hands wrapped around his neck. Eddie gently pushed her away from him. “I haven’t seen you with a girl since ninth grade,” she said, batting her eyelashes at him.

You pursed your lips, deciding to stay hidden, watching from the sidelines to see just how far she would go.

“I’m being serious,” Eddie said.

“Well, where is she then?” Sarah asked. Eddie was about to speak when she spoke up again. “Cus’ I don’t see her. All I see is you and me. Stop acting like a baby, Eddie, I know that you want me.”

“I don’t want you,” Eddie said, screwing up his face at her words.

“C’mon, i’m on the pill, you can put it in raw,” she whispered with a smirk, her hands resting on his chest.

Eddie stepped away from her, but she only stepped closer. By now you were seeing red, trying to keep yourself together, but the final straw was when you watched her attempt to push her lips against his. Eddie turned his face, her lips meeting with his cheek.

“C’mon-“ her words were cut off by you swinging the door open and running up to her.

You grabbed a fist full of her hair, dragging her off of Eddie. Sarah dropped to the ground, staring up at you with wide eyes as you dropped to your knees, slapping her fair across the cheek. She gasped, looking down at her lap.

“I’m the girlfriend,” you hissed. “You better get the fuck out of my sight before I fuck you up,” you said. Sarah stood up and you pushed her, for good measure, making her whimper. Sarah ran past you, out of the room and you turned to face Eddie.

“You didn’t have to go that far…” Eddie mumbled.

“Yes I did, that bitch just asked you to fuck her and tried to kiss you!” You exclaimed, eyebrows furrowed. “Did you want to fuck her?” You asked.

“Y/N-“

“I see the way you look at her,” you said. “Smiling and laughing with her all week, she’s nothing like me. She knows stuff about D&D, I mean she’s a genuine threat,” you said “Do you wish I was more like her?”

Eddie furrowed his eyebrows. “Stop talking shit, Y/N,” Eddie said, grabbing your hand. “I like that we’re complete opposites. I like that you’re into cheerleading, I like that you do your hair and makeup everyday, I like the fact that you have no idea what D&D is. I like you because you’re you! I don’t want you to be anything like Sarah, I just want you to be you. Forever.”

You pursed your lips. “I’ve never felt his insecure before you know… I mean seeing her all over you has scared the shit out of me,” you sniffed, tears welling in your eyes. Eddie cupped your cheeks.

“You have nothing to worry about, Y/N,” he said, eyes boring into yours.

“I’m so in love with you even the thought of losing you makes me sick,” you admitted.

© luvfae 2022

[hotch-stufff]

hiii 47 and 7 for angst hotch

i love ur writing btw <3

Drunk

gif by hoe-tchner

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Warnings!: mentions of abuse, stalking, and death, past abusive relationships, normal criminal minds things, angst, crying, pining, but a fluffy ending

Promtps: Angst #7 "Are you drunk?", Angst #47 "You flinched"

Author's Note: Thank you so much <3, hope you enjoy reading!!

---------------

In hindsight, it probably wasn’ the best idea to get drunk at a bar. Especially alone. But you weren’t exactly thinking straight when you had stepped off the jet after a long case. And it had been a LONG case. Nearly a week of going through the same evidence over and over again scouring for a lead. Finally finding a lead, and coming to a dead end. 

The eventual lead that you did catch, led to the unsub already standing over her next victim’s body. At least you got a full confession. But you had been the one that had found the unsub. If that wasn’t enough, this case had already been hitting way too close to home. 

A woman was murdering victims of domestic abuse to “save them” because her mom was never “saved” from her father’s abuse. She had grown up watching it. Her victims had all had y/h/c hair, with y/e/c eyes. The same height as you, same style, just overall very similar. The only difference the team saw had been that you were never abused. At least that was what your file had said.

You had been able to keep it on the low for as long as you had been at the BAU. But you were terrified one of them would figure it out. That you would flinch at the wrong time, or you would do something to give it away.

You had gotten lucky and no one seemed suspicious. You ended up hiding in the back of the jet, curled up. No one bothered you. They all assumed that the case had just hit you harder. The one thing you hadn’t known though was that Hotch had been keeping a very close eye on you.

You two had become close, and would often hang out at each other's apartments. Spending tjme just talking about nothing and everything for hours. He had quickly become one of your best friends. You always went to him when you were upset.

But tonight, you just needed to get away.

Which is how you found yourself in this bar, downing your fifth drink. In the back of your mind, you knew that you wouldn't be able to drive home, or even walk without tripping over your own feet. You needed to call someone, and your drunk self called Hotch. While the phone rang you checked the time. 3 am. He was going to kill you.

“Hotchner.” You giggled drunkenly at his formal response.

“Why so serious bossman?” He recognized your voice immediately. 

“Y/n? Are you okay?” 

“M’great. Havin a blast.” You slurred.

“Are you drunk?” He asked and you giggled again.

“Mayyybe.” You slurred, concerning Hotch even more.

"Where are you?”

“Mabel's I think. But let me tell you. I think you need to come get me because there is no way m’drivin home.” He huffed as you heard noise coming from the phone.

“I'm on my way, stay there!” But you hung up. You were so excited to see him. Truth was you had definitely developed a crush for the man. Telling him that was going to be difficult, mainly because of your past, but also because he was your boss, and about 12 years older than you.

You waited for about 10 minutes before you heard the door ring as it opened and Hotch ran inside, frantically searching around. He found you and was quickly at your side.

“Y/n, are you okay?” You nodded sleepily. You always did get sleepy after your sixth drink. He gave you a concerned glance before reaching for your arm. You flinched slightly, but Hotch didn’t say anything about it. He picked you up because there was no way that you could walk, and carried you out to his car. 

“You’re staying with me tonight.” He had said once on the road. You lazily watched  out the window as buildings went by. 

“M’kay.” You mumbled. Hotch sent you another concerned glance. Something was wrong, but he couldn't quite figure out what. Usually when a case hit you hard, you would spend the night talking with him. He had been surprised when you hadn't shown up at his apartment. Even more shocked when you had called him drunk. He cared about you and it hurt him to see you like this.

Soon he found himself pulling into his driveway. He parked and quickly ran to your side of the car to help you out. He opened your door, and reached his hand over to unbuckle you when suddenly you shifted back. Your arms came up as if to block a blow and a whimper escaped your lips. 

“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I promise!” You let out, sounding much more sober now. Hotch stood there dumbfounded, not knowing what to do. 

“Y/n, it’s me, can you hear me, its Aaron?” You moved your arms from your face, peeking out wide eyed. You pulled your arms the rest of the way down. 

“Sorry Hotch. That was just, um, that w-was-” But he cut you off.

“You flinched.” He paused looking at the tears in your eyes, realizing that he needed to get you inside before you broke down in the car. “C’mon, let's go inside.” You bowed your head and nodded. 

“Okay.” You said softly. He helped you out of his car slowly, and walked you up to his apartment. Once there, you plopped on his couch, sobering up for the conversation you knew was going to happen. He walked in the room, a glass of water in hand. He handed it to you, sitting next to you. he waited a few moments before beginning the inevitable conversation.

“Y/n, why did you flinch?” He asked hesitantly. He didn't want to push you, but he was concerned and he wanted to know. So you told him. Every detail, every heartbreaking moment. The bruises, the scars, the hospital trips. Everything. The reports, the disbelief, the arrest, the divorce. Then the even worse parts. The escape, the stalking, the attack, the death. Every little thing. You could feel the tears falling down your face as you spoke about your ex-husband. 

Hotch sat as he watched the beautiful woman sitting in front of him break down. He didn't know any of this, none of it was in your file. He knew that Strauss had to know though, because you never would have been accepted without background checks and psych evals. 

His heart broke a little more every time you shared another detail. On one side it felt so nice to get it off your chest. On the other hand, it was weird opening up to Hotch like this. He was seeing so much more of you than you had ever allowed anyone since your husband. He sat in silence once you finished speaking. 

“Y/n. I'm so sorry. You never should have had to go through that.” And the tears came even faster, until they were silent sobs. Hotch, well he was more Aaron in that moment, brought you into his arms holding you tight, bringing you a comfort you hadn’t felt in a long time. “Shh, shh. It’s okay. I’m right here. It’s okay to cry.”He silently whispered into your hair. You looked up at him then, sighing softly at the beautiful man before you. 

“Thank you Aaron.” He loved the way his name sounded coming from your lips. But before he could tell you, he looked down to find you asleep in his arms. And that's how he stayed until morning. 

                       * * *

The next morning you awoke to a strange bed, with strange sheets, in a strange room. But one sniff and all you could smell was Hotch’s cologne. You soon recognized that there was a warm body behind your own, an arm wrapped around your middle. 

You almost didn't remember what happened last night, but once you did, you began to panic. What if he hated you? What if he was disgusted by you? He probably had just pitied you.  

He must have felt you shift, because he was waking up. His arm tightened around you, and he leaned up looking you in the eyes. He saw your panic and was alert rather quickly for someone who had just woken up. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked quickly, eyes scanning you frantically. 

“You must be disgusted with me.” You paused taking a deep breath. “I'm sorry Hotch. I ruined your night and then cried all over you with my pathetic life story. And you probably just pitied me. I'm sorry.” He shook his head. 

“Y/n, look at me.” You looked into his eyes. “I am and never will be disgusted by you. I am amazed by you. You are so strong and beautiful and you never deserved a thing that disgusting man did to you. I don’t pity you, not at all. All of this has just made me fall more in love with you than I already was.” You looked at him wide eyed.

“You love me?” He leaned a little closer.

“Of course I do. It's impossible not to.” You dared closer still as he moved a piece of hair from your face. The loving gesture warming your heart. 

“Thank you. For everything. I love you too Aaron.” And he sealed your lips. It was intimate and explosive at the same time. And in the most cliche way, fireworks exploded as you kissed him. 

You moved together passionately. Your noses bumped ever so slightly as he kissed you deeper than you had ever been kissed. He was an amazing kisser, to say the least. He broke away a moment later, smiling down at you. 

“Give me a chance to show you what real love is, what it's supposed to be.” You nodded.

“Of course Aaron.” And you kissed him again, sliding your hands around his neck into his hair. It was the happiest you had been in a very long time. 

So in hindsight, maybe getting drunk wasn’t such a bad idea after all. 

---------------

Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! If i don't get to yours, I'm sorry!! If you would like an idea of what to request, here is my prompt list, and if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

[bravemikhailo]

either 2 or 15 or both if ur still taking prompts ? thank u :)

ok ok ok first of all I’M SO SORRY this took me over two months?? 😳😵‍💫 brain decided to go puff. I hope you enjoy this anyway anon!

I went with prompt n2: “it’s weird, ok? it makes me feel weird” which you can find here - as usual a big thank you to calli @ianandmickeygallavich for her amazing prompts 💞

inspired by @squidyyy23’s absolutely heartbreaking tags on this post 🙃

- - -

It all starts with a squeeze to his belly.

A squeeze that throws him for a loop.

Suddenly, he’s all too aware of every single touch, every gentle caress. Mickey’s fingertips burn on his skin, his lips on his belly make his ears flush and his heartbeat pick up, but not with arousal.

It’s embarrassing, he knows— a grown up man getting nervous about his own husband seeing his belly.

The belly that somehow hasn’t stopped growing since the wedding. A belly that’s a far cry from the toned abs he used to sport in those tight golden shorts.

Getting rounder and bigger and softer with each passing day and he didn’t even notice.

Not until the squeeze.

And then it starts. It blows up under his nose so quickly that he doesn’t even have the time to realize what is happening. What he’s doing.

He starts grabbing Mickey’s hand every time it sneaks under his shirt. He brings it up to his mouth and kisses it to disguise it. Holds onto it, as far away from his belly as possible.

Mickey doesn’t seem to notice. He holds onto his hand as well, fingers interlacing, and it’s okay.

Until it’s not.

Until Mickey’s on top of him. “Let’s take this off, huh?” He pants, fingers gripping the hem of his shirt and suddenly Ian’s shoving him away, away from his shirt and from his belly.

Until he rolls over and quickly pads over to the bathroom, ignoring Mickey’s lost what the fuck?

Until there’s hot water in his ears drowning out his voice.

Ian, you alright? What’s going on? Ian?

He’s worried and Ian hates that he is. That he’s worrying him.

He steps out of the shower and puts on clean clothes. Shirt hiding everything he needs it to hide.

He’s expecting Mickey to be out there by the door, eyebrows raised and bottom lip between his teeth.

He’s not.

He’s in the kitchen, making fucking hot chocolate in the middle of the night.

There’s a lump in his throat but he swallows it down, eyes starting to burn and he can’t stand to look at him, at this husband of his being gentle and patient and understanding.

He steps onto the balcony, guilt eating at his insides but there’s nothing else he can do.

The chill air of the night sends a shiver down his spine and he crosses his arms on his chest.

“Hey,” mickey says, suddenly behind him. “You’re gonna freeze your fuckin’ ass off, man.”

Ian doesn’t turn to face him. “It’s okay.” He mumbles, surprised at the thickness he hears in his voice.

There’s a quiet sigh from behind him, then their couch blanket is gently enveloping his shoulders.

He inhales shakily. Grips the soft fabric and holds it closer to his sides. It feels safe, like this.

“Thanks.” He whispers.

“You okay?” Mickey asks, coming to stand beside him, elbows leaning on the railing. “Look, I’m uh.” Ian looks at him from the corner of his eye. He’s thumbing at his nose. He’s nervous. “I’m not gonna make you talk to me if you don’t want to, but—“ He lets out a breath, turns so he’s facing Ian. “You can if you want, you know?”

He nods, eyelids closing. “I know.”

“I just want to be sure you’re okay.”

Ian huffs. “It’s embarrassing, Mick.”

“We’re married, dumbass. And I love you.” He holds up a hand to smooth back one of Ian’s curls, then brings it down to pet at his ear. “There’s nothing you can’t tell me.”

Ian turns his head, and the look he finds on Mickey’s face is so sincere that his breath trembles. Mickey must pick up on it because he rests his forehead on his shoulder, just a second.

“Nothing.” He whispers again, straightening back up.

Ian bites his lip, keeping his face from crumpling. “When—“ He stops. Takes a deep breath. Tries again. “When you touch me—my belly.” He sighs, doesn’t dare looking at Mickey. His fingers tighten around the fabric to the point that his knuckles hurt. “It’s weird, ok? It makes me feel weird.”

There’s nothing but silence for what feels like hours, until Mickey lets out a quiet, “Oh.”

Tears pool in his eyes and he can’t stop them from pouring out. “I’m sorry.” He chokes out. “I don’t know why I’m like this.”

Mickey’s hands are on his cheeks in an instant, thumbs swiping away the tears. He leans into them.

“You don’t gotta apologize for that, man,” Mickey says, then presses up to softly kiss his forehead. He looks at him and his eyes are wide and bright, pupils blown. His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat before he speaks again. “I’m just— I’m sorry I made you feel like this.”

He shakes his head so fast that his head spins.

“No,” he says firmly, planting his hands on Mickey’s neck. “It’s not you. I—“

He can’t find the strength to say what he wants to but he doesn’t need to, because Mickey’s arms are around him and then he’s holding him tight to his chest and this is okay. It’s okay for now.

Mickey takes his hand. “Why don’t we go inside and drink that hot chocolate, huh?”

He smiles. Yeah, they can do that.

Then he’ll tell him.

He’ll tell him on the couch, head resting on Mickey’s lap and his husband’s fingers carding through his hair, scratching at his scalp. Bending down to press his lips to Ian’s forehead.

He’ll tell him and he’ll get a million kisses and cuddles, and then he’ll smile and flush and laugh, a bit embarrassed, when Mickey tells him just how beautiful and hot he finds him. All of him. Belly included.

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Could you please write Jason and Y/N (Father of Mine Universe) with prompts 48, 31, and maybe 30? could go either way.

Even if you choose not to write this, thanks for creating Father of Mine, it's one of my favorite fics!

Father of Mine

48. Using your body to shield them from attack.

31. Hurriedly checking for their pulse.

30. Performing CPR when they stop breathing.

Jason and Y/N were walking along the water after getting dinner.

Most of the harbors in Gotham were run by one crime lord or another. Which meant that there were very few areas on the water for civilians to enjoy – or feel safe. 

But Jason knew of a strip that was under the radar.

There were a few other couples with the same idea. And random groups of kids and teenagers hanging out and messing around.

Jason was relaxed.

That was his first mistake.

Jason had immediately clocked a random middle-aged man who was covered in sweat and was visibly trembling.

Being far too familiar with the sight, Jason assumed the guy was another unfortunate addict. 

But then he noticed the man was carrying a backpack.

Jason had all of 5 seconds to realize what was about to happen.

He shielded Y/N with his body while screaming as loud as he could, “Get down!”

Jason knew he couldn’t save everyone, and Y/N would always be his number one priority.

The next second, the bomb exploded.

The impact knocked Jason unconscious.

For how long, he had no idea.

He was disoriented from the explosion, his ears ringing from tinnitus and his vision struggling to focus from the vertigo. Yet, somehow he could still hear the beating of his heart in his eardrums. 

People were screaming in pain around him and others were crying as they looked down at their loved ones. Half the harbor was on fire from the explosion. Cement and debris was everywhere. Jason’s hair was grey from it.

He blinked and then panicked.

“Y/N!” Jason screamed when he realized she wasn’t anywhere near him.

He jumped to his feet and whipped around in every direction looking for her.

“Y/N!” He screamed even louder, his throat burning from the effort.

Then he realized when the explosion when off they had been standing next to the railing that blocked off the water. The railing that had now been blasted away and into the harbor.

Jason sprinted to the edge and looked down at the black water below.

Without hesitation, he dove into the depths.

It was almost impossible to see anything.

But just seconds later, he found Y/N unconscious and completely submerged.

Jason had never swam faster in his life.

But when they breached, Y/N didn’t gasp for air.

She was completely unconscious.

Jason’s eyes darted around, trying to find their escape.

By some miracle, there was a rusty ladder that led back up to the pier from the water.

Jason put Y/N’s body over his shoulder as he climbed the ladder, silently praying that the metal didn’t break under their combined weight.

When they reached the top, he gently laid her down and his fingers shot to the pulse point at her neck.

Nothing.

“No, no, no,” Jason mumbled. “Y/N. Come on, baby. You’re not doing this to me.”

He found his Red Hood comm in the pocket of his jacket, and put it to his hear.

“Contact Bruce,” he commanded the AI as he started performing CPR on Y/N.

“What is it?” Bruce answered with slight panic. 

Jason had never called him like this before. And therefore Bruce knew immediately something terrible happened.

“Get the fucking jet here right now,” Jason growled.

“What’s happened?” Bruce asked, but it was obvious he was moving around already to leave.

“There was an explosion. She doesn’t have a pulse and she’s not breathing,” it was all Jason was capable of giving him. “Just get the fucking jet here now!”

He didn’t have time to explain more and hung up. And he didn’t have to say Y/N’s name for Bruce know who he was talking about. There was only one woman in Jason’s life that would have him sounding so panicked and desperate.

Jason continued his CPR, fully focused now that he knew Bruce was on the way.

Still nothing.

He did another round of compressions.

Jason’s eyes started watery as his mind began to believe that Y/N wasn’t going to make it.

He wouldn’t survive.

Y/N had changed his life. She made him better, made him good, made him want to worker harder – do literally anything to become the man she deserved and to continue to be deserving of her love.

“Please,” Jason whimpered. “Please don’t leave me.”

But then Y/N’s eyes shot open and she immediately turned over and started coughing up water.

“Holy fuck,” Jason gasped in relief at the sight.

Y/N continued coughing until her throat was scratched and dry.

Jason rubbed her back, trying to comfort her without preventing her body from getting all the water out of her lungs.

After she finished, she was shaking from being freezing cold and from the shock.

Despite him also being wet, Jason put his coat over her shoulders.

“Don’t ever fucking do that to me again,” Jason begged Y/N as he pulled her into his arms. 

He kissed the crown of her head and hoped his body heat would be enough to warm her up.

“What happened?” Her voice had never been raspier and it was now quivering.

“A bomb went off. I thought I shielded you from it, but the impact must’ve thrown you into the harbor.”

“I’m OK,” she tried to tell him. But her shaking voice was unconvincing. 

Jason wasn’t letting go of her anytime soon.

It was only 5 minutes later that the batplane touched down on what remained of the pier.

Jason looked up to see Dick, Tim, and Damian jump out and immediately start helping the injured.

But Bruce, dressed in his Batman uniform, was walking straight to Jason and Y/N.

“She needs to go to a hospital,” Jason called out when Bruce was a few yards away. “Her heart stopped beating and her lungs took in too much water.”

Jason knew Bruce wouldn’t argue with taking Y/N there immediately.

Bruce was clearly relieved at seeing his daughter alive and conscious. But that didn’t mean she was in the clear. Nearly drowning still had its risks. If her heart stopped beating, she was in danger of brain damage or pneumonia.

“I’ll take her. You help the others,” Bruce ordered as he stepped forward to take Y/N from Jason’s arms.

“Like fucking hell I am,” Jason growled as he stood up with Y/N in his arms.

Bruce was about to fight him on it, but then he met Y/N’s eyes. Her skin was pale and almost had a blue tint to it. She looked so small and vulnerable in Jason’s arms. Not like the strong and grown woman that had first strutted into Wayne Manor.

“I’m not leaving her,” Jason added for good measure.

Bruce finally sighed and nodded. “Take the jet. You know where to go. I’ll meet you there.”

Before Jason could carry her away, Y/N whispered, “What about the others?” 

Her eyes tried to look around her boyfriend’s broad shoulders to see the other victims.

“B is going to help them,” Jason gently told her. He even angled his body to block her line of sight. She didn’t need to see any of it. 

“We already have ambulance and firemen on the way,” Bruce added, hoping it would convince her further not to worry herself. 

There was nothing she could do for them anyway. 

Then Bruce locked eyes with Jason. “Go. Get out of here. Take care of her.”

“Always,” Jason muttered quickly before hurrying Y/N to the jet.

————————

Y/N woke up to two low voices clearly having a serious discussion, but trying to keep their voices down.

When she opened her eyes, Y/N realized she was in a hospital room. But it wasn’t just any room. It seemed like a five-star hotel with how fancy it was. It didn’t have that sterile smell or those harsh fluorescent lights that caused headaches.

“It was a turf war,” Bruce told Jason quietly. “Carmine has jurisdiction over the harbor the two of you were at tonight. But Farrelli wanted it for himself. He forced his latest victim to bring the bomb.”

Jason crossed his arms. “So, the guy was dead either way, Farrelli just thought he’d put him to some use before he murdered him.”

Bruce nodded. “And kill five more people with him.”

“Five people died?” Y/N burst out without realizing it.

Both men’s heads whipped in her direction.

“You’re awake,” Jason sighed and immediately rushed to her side.

“What hospital am I at?” She mumbled, looking around again.

“Gotham General,” he told her as he sat on the edge of the bed to face her.

Jason gently grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. But he had no intention of letting it go, keeping a tight hold and rubbing his thumb back and forth across her skin.

Bruce was slower to join them as he walked with his hands in his pant pockets.

“This isn’t Gotham General,” she commented with a suspicious gaze. 

Jason scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Well, as soon as Bruce arrived, they realized that you’re Gotham royalty by blood, and brought you to a special suite.”

Then Y/N’s eyes slowly moved to her father. “Five people died from the explosion?”

She needed to know. But she also knew that both men would try to protect her from possible survivor’s guilt.

So Bruce just nodded.

“How are you feeling?” Jason asked, trying to distract her by changing the subject.

“Tired. And my throat is sore,” she admitted with a light shrug.

Then she looked up at Jason and really took him in.

There were dark shadows under his eyes – the eyes that were still a bit bloodshot. 

Had he been crying? She hadn’t registered that. 

His hair was a mess, probably from drying haphazardly after jumping into the water to save her.

“Are you OK?” She asked.

It would be right on brand for Jason to risk his life saving her, but ignore any and all injures that he’d received from the same life-threatening travesty.

“I’m fine. Always am,” Jason reassured her too quickly.

Bruce chimed in,“We were all just worried about you, Y/N.”

Both men knew her next question was going to be about the well-being of Damian, Dick, and Tim.

“Can we go home?” She asked softly.

Y/N had always hated hospitals. And once her mother got cancer, Y/N absolutely despised them. Now all she had attached to them was bad memories that constantly threatened to trigger her. 

“They just need to get a scan back, make sure everything’s good,” Jason tried to comfort her. “Once that’s good, I’ll take you home.”

He knew her distaste for hospitals and was prepared for her to want to escape at the earliest opportunity.

“Scan?” Y/N questioned.

“You didn’t have a pulse,” Bruce explained. “You have a concussion. We need to make sure there was no brain damage or any lasting side effects.”

“Right,” she mumbled, trying not to sound worried.

“You’re gonna be fine,” Jason reassured her as he cupped her cheek.

“Perhaps you should stay at the manor for a few days,” Bruce offered. “You can relax and not be bothered.”

“She can not be bothered in our apartment,” Jason interrupted, giving him side eye.

“Jason…” Y/N warned gently.

She knew the signs of Jason getting worked up. The fire in his eyes was always something Y/N could read – more than anyone else.

Bruce wasn’t offended by Jason’s little snipe. He was used to his temper. But his gaze did turn rather serious. 

“Could I talk to you outside for a moment?”

Jason was about to refuse, not wanting to leave Y/N’s side. But he knew that would just most likely lead to an argument. And Y/N didn’t need to hear or see that. She was already exhausted and recovering. The last thing she needed was to witness was her father and boyfriend going at it – especially over her.

So Jason just nodded and stormed out of the room.

The quicker they got this over with, the better.

As soon as the door closed, Jason was sizing Bruce up.

“What exactly is your next move?” Bruce questioned.

“I’m going after Farrelli,” Jason rumbled, as if it was obvious.

No one put Y/N in danger and got away with it. Jason had already come up with a plan on how to seek his revenge. 

It was going to be gruesome and dirty, but nothing less than what the bastards deserved.

Bruce clearly had expected this answer. “So do you plan on doing that while you take care of Y/N?” And he tilted his head as he challenged Jason.

“Are you really trying to stop me?”

Bruce took a step forward. “No, Jason. I’m trying to protect you from yourself. You get blinded by vengeance. And I let you get away with it. But now your actions don’t just effect you…they effect her, too.”

Jason blinked.

“Y/N needs you right now. Even though she will act like she doesn’t.” Bruce inhaled. “If you’re going to put revenge over her wellbeing, she should stay at the manor.”

This was a somewhat of a warning – an opportunity for Jason to do the right thing before he could make his mistake.

Jason’s head hung low now. “I can’t let him get away with it. She almost died, Bruce.”

“And he won’t. But we’ll take care of it,” Bruce promised.

Jason thought it about a moment, before he finally nodded slowly. “I think the manor would be good. But I won’t leave her.”

“I never said you had to,” Bruce corrected.

Jason nodded again and made his way to the door of Y/N’s room again.

“Jason?” Bruce called.

He turned around with an eyebrow quirked.

“Thank you for saving her life.”

Jason tried not to roll his eyes, but took a few steps back to Bruce. 

“You have your opinions about me and her, I’m sure. But I want to make this is clear: I’m always going to protect her. Always. What happened tonight is never going to happen again. I’d die protecting her.”

Jason didn’t wait for Bruce’s response before turning back around. 

But just as he opened Y/N’s door her heard, “I know, Jason. I’ve always known.”

—————

Jason was able to convince Y/N to stay at the manor.

And she surprisingly agreed – as long as he came with her.

Alfred spoiled her rotten with all of her favorite meals. He was constantly bring her tea or coffee. 

Damian ordered all of his pets to keep her company and cuddle with her. To the point where Jason was annoyed because there was literally no space for him.

Tim downloaded a hundred movies for her to watch. 

Dick sent flowers and chocolates. 

Even Clark stopped by when he heard what happened. 

Unbeknownst to Y/N, all the boys and Bruce were working on taking down Farrelli. 

If Jason was the man from just a few years ago, Farrelli’s corpse would already be rotting somewhere in Gotham. But he had changed. Now they had to do things the right way.

Jason stuck to Y/N’s side like glue. He hovered, watched her like a hawk, wouldn’t let her do anything on her own.

After of a few days of this, Y/N finally had enough.

“You gonna talk to me anytime soon?” She asked him in bed on their third night.

Jason broke their eye contact.

“Jason. Please?” She whispered.

Silence filled the room.

“I can’t do it.”

Her brow furrowed. “Can’t do what?”

For a split moment, she thought he was about to try and break up with her. 

“I can’t watch you get hurt again. I just…I can’t.”

She cupped his cheeks. “But I’m right here. And I’m fine, Jason.”

“When I…” He hesitated. “When I died. I knew it was coming. I saw the bomb counting down and I knew there was no escape. I accepted my fate. I knew I was going to die. And I was scared.” 

Jason shook his head and took in a deep breath, “But Y/N…that was nothing compared to what I felt when I was convinced I’d lost you. I’m never been so fucking terrified in my life.”

Y/N smothered him with her embrace. “I’m so sorry for scaring you. But I’m OK. Please just focus on that. Please.”

“I can’t lose you, Y/N.” Jason whispered into her hair. “This place was hell before I met you. And I have no fuckin’ interest in fighting it without you.”

Y/N wished she could promise Jason that she would never leave him. But she was the child of a mother who passed far too soon. She knew life and death could be so cruel, ripping the loved ones away with or without warning.

No, she didn’t die this time. But who was to say something like this wouldn’t happen again? And maybe next time, she wouldn’t be so lucky. They lived in Gotham after all.

“Fate may have other ideas…But I never plan on leaving your side, Jason. I love you too much to do anything else.”

Jason actually laughed. “I can fight fate.”

He’d done it once before.

----------------

I have a few more of these prompts for bonus material. But let me know what you think 🤗

[heisenberg-simp257]

Hello! Have a lovely day! Could i request #70 from the prompt list with Lord Heisenberg? Thank you very much!

Sure! I hope these stories don't sound repetitive because of how my brain works with Heisy here😅

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Hate?

You think Heisenberg despises you when, in fact, it's quite the opposite.

#70 “Don’t cry, you don’t need to hide your feelings, I feel the same.”

It was unlike Heisenberg to be so quiet. Usually, the Lord was a loud cocky son of a bitch who strode about the place like he owned it, smirk on his face. However, recently, he’s been isolating himself to the depths of his factory where you could not follow him. And when you did see him, he wouldn’t speak to you. In fact, he would hardly look at you.

His actions began to hurt you a lot.

You understood that he was not an emotional man, but couldn’t he at least notice your presence. Even a tease or some snarky comment. Heck, at this point you would even take him yelling at you.

Did he just hate you or something?

No. Not at all.

In fact, it was quite the opposite.

Heisenberg has grown too attached to you, more than he probably should. However, he knew he had no chance of you liking him back. Heisenberg lived alone in a factory, experimenting on dead bodies of people you probably once knew. He viewed himself as a monster after all.

And how could someone love a monster?

So, Heisenberg distanced himself from you. He didn’t want to hurt himself any further by being around you and falling more in love with you. It wasn’t fair to you, for him to avoid you like that, but he couldn’t think of any other way to keep you safe.

You deserved much better than him.

It broke Heisenberg’s heart to be away from you, it really did, but he knew that if he was closer to you, he would like you even more. And he couldn’t take the rejection, especially if it was from you.

But what he failed to notice, was how much he was actually hurting you.

“Heisenberg, did I do something wrong?” Your voice startled him as you seemed to magically appear at the door to his medical room, where he was currently working with a dead body.

You had managed to brave the darkness of the factory and come find him. He was cornered, and had no choice but to speak with you, especially after he saw the sad look on your face.

“You? Do something wrong? Absolutely not.” He said with a slight smile, trying to lighten the mood, but you were having none of it.

“Then why are you avoiding me?” You took a couple steps into the dimly lit room. The contrasting shadows on both your faces making it even more dramatic. Heisenberg stopped what he was doing, slowly looking up to meet your eyes.

“Do you...hate me or something?” You could hardly bring yourself to ask him that question. However, he quickly shook his head and gestured wildly with his hands, walking from behind his table to lean against the front of it.

“No, Y/N, not at all! Look...you got this whole thing all wrong...” Heisenberg lowered the tone of his voice when he realized that the inevitable was occurring. You folded your arms and awaited an explanation.

He had nowhere to run this time.

“I...I...I don’t know how to say this...” He said more to himself than to you. Heisenberg bit his lip and turned his head away, scratching under his hat as a new feeling entered his chest.

Nervousness.

“Every time I’m around you, I can’t help but grow to like you, and...fuck...it just hurts me so much because I know I can’t have you...” It might’ve been your imagination, but you swear you heard his voice hitch. As he explained, your face softened. 

“...so I avoided you to make things easier for me...after all, who could love a thing like me?” As he said that last part, Heisenberg quickly brought an arm up to wipe his face. Tears? From Lord Heisenberg? You wanted to think that was impossible, but here it was before you.

All because he was afraid you didn’t love him.

As he continued to fight with his own feelings, you slowly walked over to him. At this point, he was so vulnerable that you weren’t afraid of his anger. You placed your hands on his cheeks, tickled by his scruff, and made him look at you.

“Don’t cry, you don’t need to hide your feelings, I feel the same.” You said gently while smiling. Heisenberg could hardly believe what he heard. You actually cared for him back?

“I was so upset when you started avoiding me because I thought it was impossible for you to like me.” You told him while removing your hands from his face and wrapping your arms around him in a hug.

“How could someone not like you, even a freak like me.” Heisenberg finally replied, doing his best to hug you as well. You frowned into his chest, pulling away to look him in the eye.

“You aren’t a freak. You are one of the best men I’ve ever known.” You told him honestly as he chuckled a bit at that. However, it was mostly from the relief that washed over him knowing that he didn’t have to hide anymore.

He never had to in the first place.

“I promise you; I’m going to keep you safe and take good care of you. We are both getting out of this if it’s the last thing I do.” Heisenberg told you while brining you back into another hug.

“I don’t doubt that one bit.” You replied, taking in his metallic and smokey scent. Your relationship progressed well after that, now that feeling where finally in the light. You couldn’t be happier to know this.

It was much nicer to see him smile at you instead of shunning you.

And you reminded him every day how he was no monster.

[beyondspaceandstars]

One shot | Bucky | Fluffy: 1 , 9 | Angst: 5 , 6 | w/ a happy ending

I kinda wanted to make it a challenge, and I thought these prompts were the most interesting! If you do choose to do it, I hope you have fun! Have a great day ❤️

Pizza With a Side of Confessions

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: N/A, bit fluff, bit angst

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: thank you so so much for requesting! this also include in the second ask you sent i did see it and make note of it! you certainly did give me a challenge here this one took some real mapping out to complete but i think i got it i hope i checked off all the boxes :)

Masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You had sworn the knock on your door was going to be from your date. The sleazy, creepy date you had just rejected on the stoop of your apartment building.

He had ended up being the complete opposite of what he appeared to be online. Through text messages, he seemed caring and kind. Interested in you. But then when you two met… He hands kept groping. Wandering. Caressing. You had begged him to stop in the restaurant which he eventually did after he walked you home, something you only agreed to to keep the peace, he began working on you again and you had to put your foot down, forbidding the night from going further.

He didn’t look too happy about your attitude which made you assume when that knock landed on your door, it was him and he was coming back for revenge. You had grabbed the first knife you could find and quickly pulled the door open, ready to hopelessly defend yourself…

But as you blinked back the tears cascading down your face, welling in your eyes, you saw a familiar pair of blue eyes along with a familiar frown.

"Bucky?" You sniffled, still pointing the knife at your best friend’s chest.

"Hey, doll," Bucky said, cautiously. He was standing as still as he could while also balancing a pizza box in his arms. "Do you… Do you maybe want to drop the knife, like, right now?"

You shook yourself out of your daze, quickly pulling the knife away from him. He visibly relaxed but his expression was cold, serious, as it took in your upset form. You brought the back of your hand to your face trying to get rid of the tears but they just wouldn’t stop.

"I-I’m sorry," you mumbled as you stepped away from the doorway, letting Bucky into the apartment. He immediately abandoned the pizza on your kitchen counter and turned to you, brows furrowing in waves of worry.

"What happened?" He asked — well, more like growled. If a man could growl. He truly sounded beyond angry which made you jump a bit. Bucky must’ve noticed because he immediately took a step back and tried recomposing himself. "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you it’s just — seeing you cry — I need to know, whose ass am I kicking now."

You let out a light laugh at that, seeing his such protective side. You and Bucky had formed quite an interesting friendship over time. When you two first met, he loved bickering with you, teasing you here and there about anything and everything. You’d be the bud of the joke with him and while you tried not to let it bother you, admittedly, it had very quickly gotten quite annoying. Eventually, he seemed to just abandon the act and while you were cautious, you welcomed the newfound friendship — Lord knows those were hard to come across in adulthood.

Bucky has been an amazing friend to you ever since. Maybe even a little too amazing because over time you couldn’t deny some feelings had begun to form. But in your eyes, there could be no way such a handsome, funny man was going to be as interested in you. You tried to suppress it and instead just taught yourself to enjoy his little acts of kindness.

"I-I went on another date tonight," you sighed, setting the knife back in its holder. You leaned against the counter, opposite of Bucky. His arms were folded, waiting. "I and this guy had been texting for a while and… and I really thought he was great, I truly did, but then when we met he just made me so uncomfortable. All touchy, feely… Just making my skin crawl, even now." You sighed, dropping your gaze to the kitchen floor. "I told him I wasn’t interested after he walked me home and he didn’t seem very happy about it so… When you knocked, I thought it was him trying to get into my apartment."

You felt like such a fool explaining the situation. Despite this being Bucky and knowing, at some capacity, he wasn’t going to hold it over you, it was still embarrassing. You seemed to be constantly going on these dates trying to find a partner and time after time you came up disappointed. And Bucky would always be there to pick up the pieces.

When you looked back up at your friend, you found he was studying you closely. He was sure taking a while to respond but, then again, what more could he say? You felt he probably had grown exhausted trying to comfort you after these failed dates.

And it seemed your suspicions had been confirmed — but not in a way you could have ever seen coming.

Bucky cleared his throat as if he was preparing. You took a deep breath, ready for whatever blow he was about to serve. Would he yell at you? Would he give some speech on his disappointed he is? Beg you to delete the apps? Would he—

"Maybe you just shouldn’t be going on those dates anymore."

"Huh?" You frowned.

Bucky sighed. "You can’t keep putting yourself through this."

"But how else will I find someone to date? I’m not getting any younger here, Buck."

He turned away suddenly. You heard him let out a deep sigh. Your heart was pounding loudly in your ears.

"You could maybe start by looking at the man in front of you."

Your jaw just about hit the floor. "B-Bucky—"

But there was no stopping him as he went in for the declaration. "Remember when we first met and I used to tease you relentlessly? At the time, did it ever cross your mind that maybe, just maybe, I didn’t hate you? That I wasn’t doing it out of spite? I was doing it because I was nervous. Here waltzes in this amazing, beautiful woman, and I-I didn’t know what to do. I was falling for you and I couldn’t stop it. Hell, I’m still falling for you. Every day, darling. Every goddamn day." He paused, shaking his head. "I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear tonight but I can’t sit here any longer watching you get taken advantage of by the men in this city. I’m sorry it’s coming out like this but I think you needed to hear it. I apologize for that but I won’t apologize for loving you."

You didn’t know what to do. All you could focus on was Bucky’s pleading eyes and the tears forming in your own. But they were coming on for a good reason this time. They weren’t wasted tears over an uncomfortable date. They were tears of relief.

"Do-Do you really mean all that?" You finally asked.

Bucky nodded. "Every word."

In a spontaneous move, you pushed yourself away from the counter and took determined strides towards Bucky. You threw your arms around his waist, burying your face in his shirt. It took Bucky a second to react but you eventually felt his arms snake around you.

"I love you, too, Buck," you mumbled into his chest. You felt his body shake as he chuckled.

"You sure, doll?"

You nodded. "I’ve loved you for a while, too. I just never thought you’d ever…"

"Stop," Bucky said. "Don’t say anymore. Whatever you thought, it’s not true. I have always loved you."

You pulled away from his chest, putting some distance between you two but keeping your arms locked around him. He was looking down at you with a great mixture of relief and adornment on his face. You couldn’t help but smile. You felt the same.

"I can’t believe this," you giggled. "So are we… Are we like…"

Bucky laughed. "I think we need a date first."

You gasped, happily. "A date?"

He nodded then untangled himself from you. You watched as Bucky walked over to the forgotten pizza. "How about pizza and a movie?"

You looked between Bucky and the pizza box. "Bucky, do you want to explain why you were at my door with a pizza?"

Realization flashed across Bucky’s face. "I-I didn’t come here expecting a date or anything, I swear. I stopped by because… well, I didn’t know you had your date and thought at the very least we could hang out. I even got your favorite."

You smiled, stalking over to the pizza. "Pepperoni and jalapeños?"

Bucky scoffed. "I did say I got your favorite, didn’t I?"

You let out a cheerful squeal as you hugged Bucky again, throwing your arms around his neck. He leaned into you and it all felt natural, like the stars in the sky had finally aligned.

You broke away and said, "You take the pizza and find a movie. I’ll grab some plates."

Bucky agreed and you two broke into your separate tasks, eventually coming back together to sit on your living room couch. At first, though, you two just kind of stood there, the smell of pizza wafting between you two. You weren’t just sitting on the couch to watch a movie — you were sitting down, on a date, to watch a movie.

But you were tired of being so hesitant and running into wrongs after wrongs. You were taking this opportunity. You sat on the couch and patted the spot right next to you. Once Bucky sat down, you got a bit bolder and threw his arm over you, allowing you to cuddle into him. He was a bit tense at first but soon eased up, welcoming you to invade his space.

Bucky had decided on some action movie but you didn’t particularly care about it. All you could focus on was the fact you were cuddling with Bucky while eating pizza. It was a date. A real date where the touching felt natural and you weren’t scared of saying the wrong thing. Had you really been so blind?"

The emotions and questions within you were building quickly. You needed a way to break it, to distract yourself. You landed on your sad, silly humor to save the day.

"Hey, Buck," you mumbled as the car on screen blew up or something. You didn’t know, you just shifted closer into Bucky — if that was even possible. His hold on you got tighter.

"Yeah, doll?"

"Remember when I pulled a knife on you? That’s crazy. Who would’ve guessed a little civilian like myself could hold a knife to the Winter Soldier and live to tell the tale." You were well aware that you were rambling now, the roller coaster of a night catching up to you, but Bucky didn’t seem to mind.

The laughter that escaped him was like music to your ears. His body shook beneath you as he comically laughed at your ridiculous comment.

“You drive me up the wall sometimes, darling," Bucky mumbled back once he had calmed down.

You giggled, "Better get used to it."

"Yeah," he sighed, "I guess I better."

[ibijau]

Oh, here's a prompt! Nie Huaisang travels back in time to ensure that Jin Guangyao stays away from the Jin sect. When he gets back, he's disturbed to find that not only is Meng Yao now his stepbrother (or has at least become a very respected disciple of the Nie sect), but is also now engaged to Lan Xichen. Cue screaming and/or fainting. But at least Minjue is still alive, right?

It was surprisingly easy to make it all happen, much to Nie Huaisang's surprise. In stories time travel was always so complicated to orchestrate, with so much to plan for... but Nie Huaisang had just done it, and it seemed to be working well.

His first stop had been to Meng Shi, shortly after the birth of her son. He could have gone back further and prevented her from ever having that son, but... but at the end of the day, he'd been impossibly fond of Meng Yao even if he'd grown to hate Jin Guangyao. The solution, then, had been to visit his mother and make sure she didn't fill her son's head with impossible dreams.

It had taken some money to get Meng Shi out of the brothel for a few days, and she'd been quite suspicious of him at first. But Nie Huaisang had been a gentleman, and she'd warmed up to him a little. She'd even given up on trying to seduce him once he'd explained that while not opposed to feminine charms on occasion, he mostly cut his sleeve. She'd acted quite sorry for him when he'd explained that actually, he'd just gotten out of a long relationship that had ended badly due to some trust issues and a the betrayal of a man they'd believed to be their friend. Meng Shi had shared a few stories as well, some her own, most her colleagues'.

By the time they'd arrived in Lanling, Nie Huaisang had become quite attached to Meng Shi, and decided he might change his plans a little, depending on what would happen in the next few days.

Meng Shi was not happy to meet other women who'd had the dubious pleasure of sharing Jin Guansghan's bed. She was even less happy to talk to them and learn that none of them, not a single one, had ever received money or attention again after he'd left them, not even those who'd had a child. One of them, the servant of a powerful family of merchants, had gone begging at the door of the Jin sect when her three years old daughter had fallen sick with something nobody understood. She'd been sent home under threats of a beating if she ever showed up again, and her daughter had died.

That had been nearly four years earlier. Jin Guangshan hadn't been sect leader yet, but he'd been his father's favourite and most spoiled son, so he would have had the power to do anything he pleased, including sending a doctor to his daughter, or having her brought into Jinlin Tai to make sure no dark spirit was attacking her. He wasn't even engaged to his wife at the time, so it was impossible to use her to excuse his lack of care. And he'd known about the child's sickness, because he'd happened to be passing by when the mother came begging for help. It was he who had ordered she be sent away, annoyed by her crying.

Meng Shi had gone paler and paler as that poor woman told her tale of sorrow, clutching her son tighter against her chest. When Nie Huaisang and her had returned to their inn, she had asked him why he'd wanted her to meet those other women.

“I just don't like what he's doing,” Nie Huaisang replied, a little embarrassed that he hadn't thought she might get curious. It was stupid of him. Meng Yao surely couldn't have gotten his brains from his father after all.

Meng Shi, sitting on her bed, rocked her infant son in her arms in silence for a moment.

“They were all weak,” she said after a while.

“Who?”

“Those other women. They were all weak.”

Nie Huaisang tensed, fearing that she might announce she was cut of another cloth, that she would persevere where they had given up, but Meng Shi only sighed and kissed her son's forehead.

“He picked them so they were young and would have no one to turn to. Servants and prostitutes and unwanted daughters... he picked us so we'd have no one to turn to when he'd abandon us, no one to defend our honour and force him to pay for the children he made us have. Women like us, it's our own fault for getting pregnant in the first place, isn't it?”

Nie Huaisang stared at her, and realised she was right. He'd been so busy collecting names, he hadn't paused to wonder if there had been a pattern to Jin Guangshan's actions.

“Are there any more you want me to meet?” Meng Shi asked.

“No, she was the last one.”

“Then I suppose we'll started heading back to Yunping City tomorrow. I'll have to make new plans for...”

“No, we're not going back,” Nie Huaisang announced, startling her. “It's too unfair if you go back, you deserve better. Both of you deserve better!”

She blinked a few times, and gave him an amused smile, still rocking her baby. She didn't believe him, of course. Nie Huaisang could hardly blame her for that. After her last experience with a cultivator...

But Meng Shi really did deserve better. Nevermind that in a future he hoped to have now prevented, he'd desecrated her body to get back at her son, this was a different thing. Meng Shi was not a bad person. He'd once thought her guilty of ambition at least, but after a couple weeks in her company, he realised she'd just been desperate for a chance to escape her lot in life. He couldn't really hate her for that, even if it had led to such tragedies after her death.

Nie Huaisang liked her now that he'd met her, and he couldn't condemn her and her son to a worse fate than what they'd have known without him.

He needed a plan.

He needed a smart plan.

He had a plan.

“So, I might have lied a little, you're going back to the brothel,” Nie Huaisang said, earning an unimpressed smirk. “But not for long! I'm going to try something but... would you be willing to lie about who sired your son?”

“Why not? At this point, the truth won't get me much.”

“Perfect. Then I'm going to warn my sect that I have fathered a child, and that I'm unable to care for it at the moment. I'll have to write to them but... but I know Nie zongzhu will immediately send for you. He'll probably ask after me, he hasn't seen me in nearly a decade, but I know he won't have forgotten his cousin Nie Xingyu, and he'll do what's right for my son and his mother.”

And there was no risk of the real Nie Xingyu ever returning to ruin that story, Nie Huaisang knew. His father's beloved cousin, who'd become a rogue cultivator after an argument with their grandfather, had actually died a year or two before Nie Mingjue was even born. A Night Hunt accident, one which Nie Huaisang had discovered by chance while investigating some of Jin Guangyao's crimes. But he remembered his father always hoped to see Nie Xingyu return, always speaking so highly of that cousin who had been almost a brother to him.

Nie Huaisang's father would be delighted to meet his cousin's son, and if “Nie Xingyu” asked for it he would buy Meng Shi's contract in a heartbeat. It would only be a matter of convincing sect leader Nie then, and Nie Huaisang wasn't worried about that. His father had kept all the letters his cousin used to send and read them to his sons, so Nie Huaisang was confident he could imitate his prose and handwriting, not to mention he too carried the Nie seal to mark that letter.

At worst, if it didn't work, Nie Huaisang could always find the money somewhere to buy that contract in person and try to find somewhere to leave Meng Shi, but he'd rather know that she and Meng Yao were safe and sound in the Unclean Realm.

Meng Shi, of course, looked unimpressed by his plan. She still thought he was lying, or trying to sell wonders like other men before him so they could share her bed for a reduced fee, or demand more of her than they'd paid for. Nie Huaisang didn't mind. If people's opinions of him mattered, he would have chosen a different way to avenge his brother, wouldn't he?

-

It took nearly a month after Nie Huaisang had brought Meng Shi back to her brother, but one morning, from the room he'd rented across the street, he saw a small group of Nie cultivators go in. His father was among them, and when they excited the building, he was carrying little Meng Yao in his arms and chatting cheerfully with Meng Shi who seemed shocked at this turn of events.

Unseen by her Nie Huaisang smiled, and went to activate the talisman that would take him back to his own time. Hopefully this would have been enough to save Nie Mingjue. And if it hadn't... well, he knew how to travel to the past now.

-

Nie Huaisang opened his eyes. He was in his room, and yet not. This was what used to be his room when he was young, before he became sect leader. A little smaller, a little more private, with a view on a small private garden where he kept his favourite birds. Hisroom, the one he'd always preferred, and had only abandoned in a desperate attempt to be the leader he'd thought his people would need. If he still lived in this room, then it meant Nie Huaisang wasn't sect leader.

Delighted by this apparent victory, Nie Huaisang sprung to his feet and rushed out of the room, only to run head first into someone.

He'd ran into that person enough times that he knew them instantly, even before seeing their face.

“Well someone is in a hurry,” Nie Mingjue said with a laugh.

A laugh.

Nie Mingjue was laughing. Nie Huaisang couldn't even remember the last time he'd heard his brother laugh like this. Not since the Sunshot Campaign, he thought.

“Your cousins haven't arrived yet,” said someone standing just a step behind Nie Mingjue, her voice also full of laughter. “You didn't oversleep, don't worry.”

It took all of Nie Huaisang's willpower to look away from his brother (Nie Mingjue, happy, laughing, healthy) but he managed it, because that other voice was a little too familiar.

It was odd to find Meng Shi in her fifties when just a few hours ago, Nie Huaisang had seen her in her early twenties. Her hair had turned grey, there were wrinkles on her face, and she had exchanged the bold colours she used to wear at the brothel for the muted tones the Nie sect favoured. It suited her. Growing old suited her, if only because she would never have had the chance, had Nie Huaisang not changed her fate.

“I think he's not quite awake yet,” Nie Mingjue teased when Nie Huaisang stared too long, poking his little brother in the shoulder. “But at least I don't have to drag him out of bed. Can I leave the rest to you, auntie?”

Meng Shi smiled, and assured him she'd make sure Nie Huaisang was ready for his cousins' arrival. Nie Mingjue thanked her and left. Nie Huaisang almost ran after him, suddenly needing to touch him, to hug him, to make sure this was real, that he had truly...

“Now it's finally you,” Meng Shi noted, earning a curious glance. “I've realised a few years ago that you looked oddly similar to the man who helped me. Too similar to simply count it as family resemblance. But until today, you didn't look quite right either.”

When Nie Huaisang could only blink at her, she laughed.

“I thought so. I've been wondering for years, but... you did something to change what was meant to happen, didn't you?”

“I did. I wanted... I needed to save certain people.”

“Your brother,” Meng Shi guessed.

Nie Huaisang nodded.

“And my son?”

He nodded again. “Where is he? Is he well? He learned cultivation, right?”

Meng Shi smiled proudly. “He's one of the best in his generation, people keep telling me. He's married now, and living with his husband, but they come visit often. They wanted me to come live with them in the Cloud Recesses, but it's too cold for me over there, and I like the friends I've made here in Qinghe, so I... is something wrong?”

Nie Huaisang nodded, then shook his head. “His husband?”

“A-Yao is married to Lan zongzhu,” she explained. “I would have preferred if he'd married a woman, but Lan zongzhu is a very good husband to him, and they always seem so very happy when they're together. It's all a mother can truly wish for, isn't it? To see her child settled and happy.”

Nie Huaisang said nothing.

He did not run back into his room, didn't hurriedly prepare some ink so he could draw another time travelling talisman and set things right. It was tempting, so tempting. But Nie Huaisang resisted that temptation, and forced himself to smile.

“I'm so happy for them,” he mumbled after a while, and hoped he would learn to mean it.

[vampyrial]

Chamber of Reflection.

I wanted to try my hand at doing something more than two chapters so this will be a series.

Summary: Levi broke up with you. You eventually pick up the pieces. Ironically, Levi struggles to do so himself.

Content warnings: suicidal thoughts, some unhealthy attachment, reader just wanted to be loved

song rec: chamber of reflection by mac demarco

“It has nothing to do with me having someone else. I just…don’t love you” He had said, in a careful voice full of pity. You hated that. You hated that he pitied you.

He didn’t fall out of love with you, he never loved you at all. That was the bombshell he had just dropped on you. You knew with that, he intended to completely leave your life. That pain echoed your biggest insecurity, you had felt unloved for so long. Levi’s presence was like an oasis. So much so that you had ignore the gut feeling you had gotten. The feeling that something was wrong. The feeling that prompted you to beg him for answers only to receive a very calm “Nothing’s wrong.” that you allowed to mute your worries.

You would have done anything to rid yourself of the pain. It was such a miserable feeling that kept you literally unable to leave your bedroom for days. And then you spent months being barely functional. You were reminded of him everywhere you went. You remember being a total mess. Crying all the time, even in public, not knowing if you even wanted to live anymore. Your self esteem was in the gutter.

You tormented yourself with horrible thoughts day and night. It was your unhealthy way of…creating a scar. Of closing the wound. Of numbing yourself. Of protecting yourself against ever feeling anything like it ever again. It was unhealthy, yes, but it was the way you had been living. It felt like the natural thing to do. If you could have coated your heart in tar to keep others’ words and actions from ever getting through and hurting you, you would.

You begrudgingly began seeing a therapist. She confirmed what you already knew, that Levi not loving you wasn’t necessarily your problem. The fact that you held so much self hatred was. You made a slow and hesitant crawl towards coping healthily. It was more easily said than done and frankly a lot of it was very stupid to you but you still had to take it seriously. You wanted to stop hurting, be stronger and if this would help, who were you to mock it?

Months went by and your gradual progress amounted to emotional stability and some sense of self esteem. You still weren’t necessarily in love with yourself but you could recognize that you were not in fact the most unlovable wretch on the planet and even that was a huge step. You had grown to genuinely enjoy being alone. You had made some friends but still, unwinding alone in your apartment was the part of the day you most look forward to. You had no interest in romance anymore. It wasn’t that you felt disgusted or afraid of it but rather that you had finally gotten comfortable being alone. You didn’t know if you wanted to shake up your world again with someone new.

It had been early spring with he left you and now it was the latter half of winter. You had fallen in love with the little things again. Your chest still ached from time to time with the memory of Levi but it was as temporary as the snow on the ground quickly turning into liquid-y slush. You were stable and content, no longer hitting such emotional extremes as you did when you were in the depths of heartbreak. You still felt sad but it was a more passive kind of sadness, one that didn’t aim for your life. Life wasn’t magical but it was yours again.

Meanwhile, in another part of the city, Levi was also alone. Since the moment he saw his parting words register on your face, he had felt like shit. He wanted to be selfish. To keep taking advantage of your warmth. But he couldn’t, he simply wasn’t that kind of man.

He just couldn’t love you, or anybody for that matter. That was the extent of how damaged and maladjusted to human relationships he was. And he had no intentions of leading you on any further. He had entered the relationship wanting so badly to love you. He admired you so much and felt so warmed by your bright nature. If he loved you, then he could have you stay forever and brighten his life. But his heart remained empty, no matter how hard he tried to conjure up feelings for you.

He thought he was making a clean break. And, technically, he was. He had made sure you never saw him after that day, not a call, not a text. For you, it was a clean break. Or at least, he thought so. For him, his life for the past months, had been consumed by thoughts of you. Your clothes, which you hadn’t bothered to pick up, were still at his place. When you were dating, he would iron and hang them up so that you could have clothes for when you stayed over. Sometimes he would smell lingering traces of your scent on them. And in truth, that was why he couldn’t get rid of them when he knew he should.

The pictures you took together were still on his phone. He looked at them almost compulsively. He knew how pathetic it was but he figured that because he didn’t love you, it was alright. What could it hurt? That was how he justified it to himself.

It’s amazing just how much we’re willing to lie to ourselves.

[arrowflier]

Prompt for you my lovely 😊: Ian having a bad bipolar day/really depressed and Mickey taking care of him while they still live with the Gallagher’s, maybe outsiders perspective on the way Mickey can translate Ian when he’s nonverbal or that he tries to coax Ian into eating dinner by pulling him into his lap and sharing his plate, that sort of thing and maybe someone is about to tease them but Mickey gives that glare all protective like and then they shut up:) (also can Ian be wearing Mickey hoodie or some along those lines, he’s skinny it would fit)

Thank you for the prompt! Standard disclaimer that as much as I've been writing about bipolar disorder lately I still have a lot to learn, and always want to know if it makes anyone uncomfortable.💖

Content Warnings: bipolar disorder, depressive episode, food

It had been two days since Ian left the room he had Mickey had taken over once they were both out of jail. Two days of Debbie worrying, trying to talk Mickey into taking him somewhere (The fuck are they gonna do, Raggedy-Anne, sedate him? He’s already out like a light), sending Franny up with toast and coffee like they used to do for Monica (I don't like it when he's sad, mommy), and checking the bottles of meds on the bathroom sink that Mickey swore he doled out each morning.

And Debbie remembered what it was like, with their mom. It had been scary then, too. But Monica had never been stable, and Ian…

Well. It was a lot scarier when the person that wouldn’t get out of bed was the same person that had taken you to school, and been there to pick you up. Had taught you to swim, and to fight, and to never give up.

When the person who had shown you what strength was lost their own, what were you supposed to do?

So when Ian stumbled down the stairs that morning, thin and pale and dead-eyed, Debbie wasn’t sure whether to laugh, cry, or force-feed him pancakes until he choked on them.

She went for none of the above, and hid her wet eyes by turning back to the stovetop instead.

Franny had no such compunctions, and was out of her chair and barreling into Ian’s legs before Debbie could even think to warn her.

“Uncle Ian!” she greeted excitedly. “Are you feeling better now?”

Debbie bit her lip, turning just enough to keep an eye on them from under her hair. She hated that she felt like she had to, but it was what it was.

And right now, what it was was her older brother letting his hand fall weakly onto Franny’s head, tangling in her red hair as she pressed her face into his leg.

“Hey, Fran,” he said, voice soft and scratchy from two days not speaking in anything but a whisper. He didn’t answer her question, but she didn’t seem to mind.

Franny pulled away, Ian’s hand falling limply back to his side until she grabbed it and tried to lead him to the table.

“You must be so hungry!” Franny was saying. “Mommy, can you make Uncle Ian breakfast too?”

Debbie looked at Ian, still standing there fidgeting as Franny swung their linked hands back and forth. His face was tucked down into a hoodie that didn’t look like it belonged to him—too loose in the chest and too short on his torso, barely even hanging to his hips—and he wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“I don’t know, Franny,” she hesitated. “Does Uncle Ian want breakfast today?”

No response. With a sigh, Debbie quietly added another egg to the bowl she had yet to whisk, and hoped for the best.

Franny had given up on getting Ian to the table, hugging him again before taking her own seat, and he was left standing there awkwardly and alone. Debbie wondered what she should do—Should she talk to him? Ask him to sit down? Tell him it was okay if he wanted to go back upstairs?—when the back door opened, Lip coming through with baby Fred in his arms.

“Hey Debs,” Lip greeted with a nod. “Got enough food for two more?”

Like he hadn’t just marched in after almost a week of not being home, off with Tami in their new place while Debbie took care of everyone and everything else. Still, she added another egg even as she rolled her eyes.

“Depends,” she asked dryly as she did it, “Got some money for me?”

“Nope,” Lip answered, then finally noticed Ian in the corner. “Morning bro,” he started, then did a double-take.

“Are you wearing Mickey’s shirt?” he asked, smirking. Knowing him, something rude was right on that comment’s heels, so Debbie threw an eggshell at the back of his head.

She widened her eyes at him when he turned to glare, trying to gesture without Ian noticing. But Lip didn’t seem to catch on, raising his hands like he needed an explanation, and Debbie wondered, not for the first time, how someone so smart could be so fucking stupid.

Thankfully, Ian didn’t seem to notice that the question was less than genuine, and just let his face pop out from the collar to whisper, “I like the way it smells.”

“Fuck yeah you do.”

Mickey was suddenly there on the stairs behind Ian, who seemed to relax a little more when he heard his voice.

“You keep fuckin’ stealin’ it when I’m not lookin’,” Mickey accused, coming up behind Ian to wrap an arm gently around his waist.

“Better watch out,” he warned, “or one of these days it ain’t even gonna smell like me anymore, you sap.”

Ian didn’t answer, but he did lean back just a little into Mickey’s hold. It was a far cry from the way he had pulled back from Debbie’s hand the last time she tried to check on him, and she wasn’t sure if she was relieved at the change or annoyed that once again, Mickey was the only one that could seem to influence him in this state.

She was glad Mickey was there for Ian, don’t get her wrong. But she wished that she was enough to help her brother without him, sometimes. They were family—she should be enough.

“Hey,” Mickey was whispering into Ian’s ear as he held him. “You wanna eat something for me?”

There was no spoken answer, and Debbie sighed, mentally recalculating the egg count yet again. Then she looked up just in time to see Ian nod, the slightest, slowest movement, and almost dropped the plate of bacon she was about to bring to the table.

“Alright,” Mickey said simply, “that’s good, Ian.”

He caught Debbie’s eye over Ian’s shoulder, and she nodded at him. Of course there was enough.

Mickey took the same hand that Franny had released minutes ago, and led Ian to the table. He glared at Lip until he got up and moved over a chair, finally having caught on to the fact that something was up, then sat down and pulled out the chair on his other side for Ian.

But Ian didn’t sit.

He stood there, hand still in Mickey’s, eyes wandering around the room like he wasn’t sure where he was. Franny waved at him from her seat when he looked past her, and his eyes caught on her smile, but moved on without returning it.

“Hey,” Mickey said softly. “C’mere.”

He tugged at their linked hands, raised his other one to clasp Ian’s elbow.

“Sit down, man,” he urged. “Come on, sit with me.”

Ian’s legs bent, and his body followed. And instead of sitting in the chair Mickey had chosen for him, he landed on Mickey’s lap, curling into his body like a child and tucking his head under Mickey’s chin.

It might have been comical, any other morning, Ian’s tall frame trying to hide within the confines of Mickey’s smaller form. It might have been sad, right now, the way he looked more like a scared little boy than the grown man they all knew he was.

Might have been, but wasn’t. Because Mickey just pressed his lips into Ian’s hair, stroked a hand down the back of the stolen hoodie Ian wore, and gestured to Debbie for a plate.

She didn’t try to speak to them when she brought it over, or when she returned with a second plate piled just as high. She didn’t try to argue when Mickey freed up his arms to grab a plate in one hand and a fork in the other, Ian still nestled in between, and dumped the entirety of Ian’s breakfast onto the same plate as his own.

And when Mickey got Ian to sit up enough to take a single bite from the fork he held to his mouth, held eye contact with Ian until he swallowed and went back for more, Debbie finally settled on something to feel.

Because Ian was alive, and out of bed, and eating. He was sitting at the table with them, at least sort of, and wiggled his fingers a little at Franny the next time she caught his eye.

Watching her daughter beam at her favorite uncles; watching her see what a real adult relationship was supposed to be like for maybe the first time; watching Lip and Fred too as they stared at Mickey taking care of Ian without concern for who might see…

Well. Mickey was there, and Mickey was family. Maybe they could be enough together.

[saturnsummer]

oh, how we’ve grown.

prompted by an anon from my ask here! 

notes: this was probably the fic that stumped me on so many occasions, since it was really bittersweet. editing, grammar and other mistakes will be taken responsible by me! it took me longer than expected and i’m not sure if everyone would be able to catch on how i interpreted the group’s futures and personalities! if anyone would like to know more, do dm me! as always, enjoy and thank you for the support and love!

original prompt: I think Joon Hwi and Sol A was already dating during their 3L (since Sol A looked so comfortable acting flirty and cute aroud Joon Hwi on their way to the old man's trial). Now I wonder what happen with them during time skip and by the ending, what stage of relationship they are in. Can you write a fic or headcanon ab that? Thank you! 🥰

words: 4373 words

it was finally the day of graduation.

joon hwi was beyond excited. he was nostalgic, sad and emotional, for sure. but after crying so many tears yesterday and the past week, he found it useless to cry any further. he lets the adrenaline set in for his new chapter lying ahead.

joon hwi was finally going to be a prosecutor.

his letter came in a few weeks after the bar exam. he counts himself lucky, being one of the students that helped to capture assemblyman ko, solve his uncle's murder, prove his professor's and his own innocence. all in his first year. it was no surprise that when he applied, they immediately wanted him. his grades were just the cherry on top to his stack of achievements. he was certainly overqualified for a guy who just passed the bar.

(well, he did pass the second round judicial exam.)

further than that, he was crowned valedictorian and was tasked to give a speech to his fellow batch mates. he had practiced his speech countless times, and he could recite it in his sleep by now. but he can’t quite place the feeling that he feels. his thoughts are all over and he can’t seem to keep his heart rate constant.

a knock on the door of his now empty dorm room distracts him from his thoughts. there, dressed in similar graduation robes, with long wavy brown hair is kang sol a, or to him, his kang sol. she walks in with a small smile on her face, but her smile fades away to a face of concern after studying his face. her eyes dart to the door, and she strides back to shut the door, giving him and her the privacy that he needs.

"what's troubling you?" she asks gently, taking his hand into hers. a quiet, simple gesture done by sol could soothe him so much. joon hwi is silent, not knowing why he’s so nervous. he’s done speeches and talked to crowds bigger than this. heck, he has testified for court. yet, the knot in his stomach refuses to cease.

“i don’t know… it’s nothing new, yet…” he trails off, avoiding his eyes with his girlfriend. his thoughts race through his head, but it leads back to his uncle, his samchoon, the man that brought him up: seo byungju.

“joon. joon, look at me.” sol brings a hand up to his cheek, gently raising it so it meets her eyes rather than the floor. joon hwi promised he wouldn’t be emotional today, yet he found his eyes glassy when he met sol’s eyes. as a tear slips, her fingers wipe it away gently.

“your uncle… he would be so proud of you to see the boy he raised achieve his dream.” sol says, a voice so quiet and soft, it seems to echo to joon hwi. she always knew what to say and always knew what was troubling him deep down, even if he denied it.

samchoon… are you proud of me?

“i’ll always be supporting you, like how your uncle did. when you’re on stage, if you feel intimidated, just look at my eyes, alright?” sol says, rubbing his cheek. he gives a small smile and nods slowly. taking his hand, sol intertwines it between her fingers, an action that he knows she only does when they are alone. an act so simple, yet his heart was so soothed by then.

joon hwi’s free hand reaches to the back of her head, as he lowers his slightly, so their forehead rest against each other. he breathes her perfume in, the one he bought for her a few months into their relationship, the one that she always wanted but could never buy. he takes slow breathes with her, her thumb rubbing his knuckle gently.

sol pulls away, much to joon hwi’s disappointment. he wanted her skin ship even more, just savouring her touch under his skin. sol notices his disappointment and only gives him a smile.

“they’re waiting for us. come, let’s go.” sol says softly, letting go of his hand after giving him a squeeze. he knows she hates being affectionate in public, even in front of their close friends. he gives her a quick peck on the top of her head before following behind her, walking to the lobby where they were.

“yah, hyung!” bokgi waved with enthusiasm, gathering the attention of the group. joonhwi maintains his composure and lets out a deep breath.

“nervous, hyung?” yebeom asks, his fingers fiddling.

“tch, it’s me. i’ll be fine.” joon hwi replies. it’s a half truth, now that sol is by his side.

“that’s why sol-noona had to find you, right?” bokgi teases, earning a nudge from yeseul. bokgi looks in mocked offence, but he recovers. everyone eyes at sol with prying eyes, the look of teasing on their faces. she takes this moment to shut her eyes, bring her hands up to face and shakes her head while sighing. these kids have literally nothing better to do than to just tease her and joon hwi.

“it’s time. you should go.” jiho says as he nods towards the lecture hall. the ceremony doesn’t start till half an hour later, but being valedictorian, he had preparations to do. they send joon hwi their last words of encouragement, but joon hwi was not going to leave unless he embarrassed his girlfriend a little longer.

his hand reaches up to sol’s hair, sweeping the curls behind her and cutely arranging her fringe the way she likes it. sol blushes as the group ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ in front of them. joon hwi knows she hates being so affectionate in front of her friends, but it’s always fun to tease. sol’s bright red and her face forms the smallest pout. joon hwi knows he’s achieved his mission.

“i’ll see you later.” he says with a wink and walks away, hearing the tease from yebeom and sol squeaking back.

when he’s on stage later, giving his speech, the words fall out of his mouth effortlessly. but the only thing that changes is that his eyes are fixed on the warm brown eyes of sol. as he addresses his late uncle at the end, he pauses and takes a deep breath. sol looks at him and gives him an encouraging nod. he ends his speech, eyes never once leaving her gaze, as the student body claps for him and he takes a bow.

one by one, the students are told to line up and take their certificates on stage from dean oh. she gives the seven graduates a knowing smile when they step on stage, knowing how much they’ve been through, after being swept up by their problems in their first and second years. even after all that, they managed to graduate with excellent results.

when they gather to take their photos (taken by seungjae, who decided to attend their graduation. it was the least he could do to show his support.), joon hwi swears he sees his uncle standing at the rock by the entrance of the school. he swears he sees the knowing silhouette of the tall man, grey hair and his metal spectacles. but what warms him the most is the smile of seo byung ju’s face and the slight nod.

yes, my boy. i’m so proud of you.

with that, joon hwi lets himself smile as seungjae snaps the camera.

(he doesn’t notice his blurred vision from his tears, but rather blames it on the sun hurting his eyes.)

-----

the group takes individual shots of themselves, even jiho and sol b are smiling when their photos are taken. sol doesn’t lose a chance to tease her roomie about her cute smile, one she only reserved for limited situations.

joon hwi watches as his friends spread out across the field to meet their family, sharing the good news of graduation and their new starting jobs. the smiles on the parent’s faces warms his heart deeply, somehow, even though he’s standing alone.

jiho was going to be a prosecutor with joon hwi in their new office. jiho could care less about joon hwi, but he can’t help but admit that it comforted him knowing a familiar face to be in his office in about two weeks. after all, they did share a room for three years.

sol b, against her mother’s wishes, has decided to take a gap year. her mother initially planned for her to continue her training, securing her route to being a judge. but sol b has had enough of her mother’s toxicity. as they went through therapy as a family, sol b had expressed as best as she could her need to discover what she wants for herself, not what her mother wants for her. what she will be doing in her gap year is still undecided, but she has chosen to move out for the time being.

yeseul was going to be in a firm that mostly did cases of women rights. while she initially was hesitant, bokgi encouraged her to take this opportunity, using her experience and her trial as a voice to the other victims. from time to time, she promised professor kim that she would come back to help at the legal clinic.

bokgi, on the other hand, had finally achieved his dream of being a human rights lawyer. while he was upset that he couldn’t work near yeseul, his spirits were immediately lifted when he heard that yebeom was going to be working just at the building across from him, another big law firm. (it was settled that as much as they went through, the bok-beom duo was never to be separated.)

sol, on the other hand, accepted her first job at attorney park’s firm, ironically. just when she had her first internship, she remembers screaming that she would never work with crooked lawyers like him. sol chose to work with him, as a return of the many favours she owes professor yang, starting with the one from high school. it was the most she could do for her role model.

joon hwi observes as he notices the proud faces of mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters, and spots the few sightings of grandparents. somehow, he can’t help but feel a little lonely. his parents, the two individuals he had a short-lived relationship with had long passed. his uncle, the closest thing he had to a father had too passed. he can’t even guess where his aunts or other distant relatives are. his distant relatives probably don’t remember him, and neither does joon hwi.

a small body crashing into him breaks his flow of thoughts, as he looks down to see who it is. byeol wraps her arms around joon hwi’s waist happily and joon hwi breaks into laughter, realising who it is and lifting her before spinning her. she’s giggling in a mess as joon hwi spots sol’s mother and her walking to them.

“ah, hello, mrs kang.” joon hoi greets with formality. sol’s mother playfully smacks his arm with a smile, clearly embarrassed from such formality.

“ah! how many times have i said to not call me that, joon hwi-ah! at this point, you should just call me halmeoni!” she says, earning a big laugh from joon hwi and sol’s face burning with embarrassment.

“umma! don’t say things like this!” sol squeaks back. joon hwi only smiles and insists to call her ‘mrs kang’. byeol is getting introduced to their friends as bokgi and yebeom play a game of tag with her. sol’s mother stands by sol, her hand on her back and her other rubbing joon hwi’s back.

“joon hwi-ah, i hope you know how proud i am of you. sol has told me your own fair share of troubles. i know... you don’t have much of a mother figure in your life, but as your girlfriend’s mother, i hope you know i treat you like my own.” sol’s mother comments to him, holding both his hands in her warm ones. “more than just tutoring my daughter and helping her, you got through your troubles on your own.” joon hwi can only smile as he suppresses the emotions.

“your parents must be so glad to have such a righteous son.”

joon hwi, for a moment, is reminded of his limited memories with his parents. he doesn't remember much, being so young when they died. but how his mother would teach him the importance of kindness and compassion. his father would teach him to be strong, to stand up for the bullies that picked on the poorer kids in his preschool.

hearing his girlfriend’s mother tell him that, he couldn’t help but just pull her into a warm hug. sol joins in from behind, enveloping them with a warm that joon hwi was unable to explain. burying his face into the older woman’s hair, he lets himself be a child, as she rubs his back and holds him lovingly.

for the first time in his life, he finally experiences the warmth of a mother’s hug.

-----

as the field starts clearing out, the seven graduates and seungjae are left behind. their families have gone home, leaving them on the field, laid down in a circle, heads together. there was just silence, as they breathed in the air of hankuk university once more.

once more, as students.

once more, as graduates.

once more, before they step into their next phase.

“i’ll really miss you guys.” sol says quietly. yeseul, lying next to her, nods, although no one can see.

“we’ll meet up. especially you, seungjae-hyung! don’t be shy to ask for babysitters!” bokgi announces, earning a smile from seungjae. they slowly got up from the grass, dusting off the dirt and making their way back once more to the university lobby.

this was the place where these eight students met, all with different objectives and from all walks of life. yet, as different as they are, they got along and went through hell together, for each other. the short lived three years were filled with so many troubles, yet they pulled through together.

truly, they were more than friends. they were family.

seungjae took his leave first, being the family man he was. yebeom had to rush to a family event, and yeseul was going to catch a meal with bokgi. (yeseul promised bokgi to give him a chance once they graduated, and so she kept her promise.) jiho and solb were silently headed off in the same direction with their only conversation being “i’ll drop you off” by jiho and solb nodding. (joon hwi and sol only eye them, making mental notes to tease their ex-roommates.)

“are you going home?” joon hwi asks as sol grabs her bag. after graduating, sol made the decision to move home for the time being, to pay off her loans and support her family and ease her mother of some financial burden. joon hwi has opted many times to help, even wanting to pay off her loans. he had no loans, and after he sold his uncle’s mansion, he had a huge sum of money along with the inheritance. but sol couldn’t do it, she needed to work for this herself.

“yeah. i promised byeol i’ll help her with her work and catch a movie with her too. it’s been long since i could just spend time with her.” sol says. the lobby was now empty, with a few students walking in and out. sol looks at the lady justice statue, almost reminded of the many times she stared at it to remind herself of why she chose law. why she chose this profession.

together, they walk out, holding hands for the first time openly in their school. they were no longer students, and there was no point hiding from others anymore. she was just kang sol; he was just han joon hwi. no more ‘second round judicial pass’, no more ‘uncle killing nephew’, no more ‘klutz’, no more ‘twin failure’. just them.

joon hwi takes the bus to sol’s home, still in the ground floor apartment by an alley. sol’s mother invites him in, but he quickly declines, saying he needs to run some errands back at his own apartment. well, it wasn’t a lie. he just shifted in and he certainly had to clean and unpack.

when the apartment is packed with law books stacked neatly in his bookcase, the floor dusted and mopped, furniture clean and the fridge stocked with fresh groceries, he picks his phone to find seungjae sending the group their photos. there’s numerous comments on how yebeom is already missing us, and even jiho gives a ‘tch’ as a reply in the chat. he notices an unread text from his professor and opens the chat box.

you’re on my speed dial for cases. don’t ignore me.

joon hwi scoffs. he sets his phone aside as he flops back on his bed, for the first time processing all that has happened.

he can’t wait for the future.

(on his wall, he hangs a childhood photo of him and his uncle. on the frame, it has a tag with his daily reminder to judge fairly, and to make sure no one suffers unjustly.)

-----

the next few years for joonhwi are an adventure. his experience in the prosecution office is busy and stressful, but with jiho working just next door, he finds comfort in having him by his side. he battles many cases, slowly but surely, making a name for himself. instead of being known as the man that solved his uncle’s murder, he was now known as the prosecutor that never loses.

the study group kept in touch, meeting every two weeks for dinner at a barbecue place. somedays, they drank. on others, they just chatted and kept the plates of pork coming. seungjae did his best to join, but with his toddler kid, things were difficult.

seungjae took a year after his hearing to be with his wife, and take care of her during her pregnancy. he then decided to work as a forensic examiner. if he couldn't practice law and help people with it, the least he could was to uphold it and enforce it. his job was new and interesting, but he humbled himself to push through his training. he meets the group when they are dealing with criminal cases and helps them out as best he can.

the study group also took turns meeting his kid, and would always love babysitting. sol, as expected, was the best with chaotic duo bokgi and yebeom. instead of dinners some nights, they met at his house to catch up with him and spoil his kid. (seungjae couldn’t stop it. when the kid was born, he immediately gained 7 new aunts and uncles, ready to spoil and pamper him.)

his relationship with sol grew as well. working such long working days was tough, but they tried their best. sol would sometimes deliver homemade stews to his apartment and joon hwi would deliver jjajamyeon with her extra pickles on some nights. they met on the weekends, where they would just go to the park and take strolls or hole up in joon hwi’s apartment to work on their cases together.

sol was doing exceptionally well as a new attorney, almost successfully appealing to all her clients. her clients love her, not only for winning, but for always being so caring to them. many say she still keeps in contact with some clients, even after the case has been closed. while she thinks it is no big deal, sol’s career was climbing up. her loans were fully paid, and she has begun looking into apartments for her family and her to shift out of. that alley brought too much danger, especially with byeol growing into a teenager and her mother’s joints weakening.

sol b took that gap year to work at an administrative office at a law firm, before deciding to continue her law career to gain experience before moving forward to be a judge. throughout the gap year, she split her time on herself and therapy, as well as on her study group. she found herself wanting to be a judge, not for her mother, but for herself.

jiho and sol b also started dating each other shortly after they graduated, when joon hwi spotted sol b and jiho holding hands when he was leaving his office. they only told the group a few months later. but of course, everyone knew by then. ever since then, they caught sol b and jiho smiling a bit more, even if their smiles were just the slight curl at the corner of the lips.

yebeom was doing well in his law firm, handling mostly small cases, but he was content since he had a fun time handling the many cases and making visits to meet clients instead of being stuck in the office. bokgi was a human rights lawyer, with most of his cases about the discrimination of citizens in any aspect. he fought for the rights of those of different sexual orientations, races and religions and was extremely happy being able to do that.

yeseul was defending women of all walks of life, from their unequal treatment to domestic abuse. she was passionate and has made headlines a few times over the years when she chose to speak out about her story. she was well known in this area, being the first few lawyers to be a victim of domestic abuse and defending them. she also kept in contact with professor kim and made regular visits at the legal clinic.

bokgi and her only started dating a year after the graduated. bokgi respected the reasons and her space and yeseul found herself falling in love with him. after all, he stood by her all this while for the whole three years and have seen her at her worst. more than that, he treated her with respect and loved her equally, even after all that.

one day, as joon hwi and sol spent their day on the sofa at joon hwi’s apartment, joon hwi was nervous to ask this question. sol was busy looking at different apartment listings.

“sol, can i ask you something?” joon hwi asks, grabbing her hand. sol nodded, eyes still focussed on her screen.

“would you... would you want to move in with me?” sol’s hand stops scrolling as the words sink in and she slowly faces her boyfriend.

“i... i don’t know. i mean, byeol and umma will be left alone, right?” sol says, her voice quiet and soft.

“we can live near them. i think the lease of the apartment is ending soon, anyways.” joon squeezes her hand.

“but... i don’t know if i have enough money to get an apartment for them and us. joon, i really want to, i really do. but...” sol’s eyes are uncertain, and joon hwi sees her eyes guilty, almost like she feels bad for saying that.

“we can get the apartment in instalments. you can buy one for your mom and byeol first and we will slowly pay for ours.” he says. placing a finger under her chin, he raises it so her eyes meet hers. “sol, they are going to be alright on their own.”

sol nods her head and reaches up to pull her boyfriend’s face to hers, letting their lips connect. his lips are soft against hers, as she taste the slight coffee taste from his mug. it’s almost frenzy, from what started as a simple kiss lead to a fight for dominance. without knowing, sol is straddling joon hwi, as his hands pull back her long hair.

when they pull away, he feels her hot breath on his face, and her face burning red, embarrassed at how she acted.

“should we get back to looking at apartments?” joon hwi asks, a small smile on his face, ultimately an act of tease to her. she quickly nods and climbs off of him as they look at apartments together. joon hwi gives her a knowing smirk, before sol swats his arm and they resume scrolling.

and it was true, when professor yang had him on speed dial.

he was just about to leave for a coffee and bother jiho for a bit at his office one day, when a call came in from professor yang.

“han joon hwi.”

“professor.”

“you’re needed, now. meet me at hankuk university in thirty minutes.” and the call disengages. it was a habit of his professor’s, to give blunt replies and just cut off without saying goodbye. he slips on his blazer and grabs his briefcase before picking up the call from sol instinctively. so much for listening to orders, even though he wasn’t a student anymore.

“called you too?” he asks once he picks up, scribbling on a post it note, noting his early leave from the office.

“what else? gosh, i really hate it when he hangs up like that.” sol replies, a twinge of annoyance in her voice.

“i’ll pick you.” joon hwi says, as he leaves his office, then knocks on jiho’s door. jiho’s head pops up from his laptop, before nodding in acknowledgement.

“no, don’t bother. i’ve already caught the train.” sol replies and joon hwi hears the familiar beeping of train doors. sol knows she’s got to hang up soon, if she doesn’t want to irritate other commenters on the train.

“love you.” he says back. sol’s face is blushing red, but she’s lucky everyone on the train was busy on their phone.

“i love you too.” she whispers before hanging up and storing her phone away in her handbag.

when they meet at the doors of hankuk university each time they are called in for a case, they can’t help but to think of how far they’ve come. sol, the girl with bad grades and on a scholarship. joon hwi, the top student with a hidden secret. yet in a matter of years, they blossomed together with their friends on their routes.

professor yang is by the lady justice statue, and when he looks up to see his students stroll in with authority and confidence, he gives a knowing smile.

shall we start?

[lilacsandwhiskey]

Angst prompts 12 - Tom 💛

Choices

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader

Warnings: language, angst, not necessarily a happy ending but maybe a part 2 in the works, perhaps?

angst prompt from @your-fluffy-murder-writer

Tom hated the way he couldn’t lay down and feel comfort in what he was sure was the most comfortable bed in the entire city. The hotel room was seemingly too large anymore, knowing there was one less body occupying the room.

He swung his legs over the left side of the bed, his feet hitting the cool carpet. He glanced at the clock. It was only 11:02pm, but everyone else had already fallen asleep in the suite. He tiptoed into the small kitchenette, grabbing a beer out of the fridge, thankfully stocked by Harrison earlier that evening. He took himself out to the balcony, sitting back on the cold metal chair that decorated the outlook.

Tom sighs as he pressed the bottle to his lips, sweat from the bottle falling onto his chest. He’s quick to rub them away before setting the bottle on the tiny garden table in between the two chairs. His fingers fumble with the other side of the chair as he stares at it, as if the one face he wants to see will appear. But he knows it won’t.

His mind takes in the still bustling city below him. He knows if you were here, you’d be whispering softly stories you’d made up about each person that walks around on the street. “They definitely are on their first date.” You’d say at the awkward hand holding couple crosses the street. “She looks like she’d drive a Benz. I’d like to drive a Benz.” Tom found himself letting out a laugh through his nostrils, immediately feeling tears sting the back of his eyes. If only you were here to make those comments.

Tom wondered what you were doing right now. It took everything in him not to call you, for the first time sober. There was no doubt drunken calls had surfaced on the nights he’d gotten absolutely hammered. Harry would try to stop him, but Tom never listened. He’d shove his brother away from him, closing the door and locking himself in there. He wasn’t proud of it. It didn’t exactly help his pride that you never once called back.

“You’ll always choose it over me.” You cried. “Every. Single. Time. You’ll choose anything it all over me.” This wasn’t the first time this had been a fight. Tom groaned, pushing his hand through his brown hair. “It’s my fucking job.” “When will you realize that I know that? But you’ve changed. I haven’t even gotten a text from you in over two weeks. I’m not going to be in a relationship with a radio silent telephone. I deserve more.”

And that’s when you left. You had enough and you finallt chose your feelings over your own. You were supportive of Tom and his endeavors, everything about his job, you supported. It wasn’t until the partying and clubbing commenced more than usual, earning you not even a check in text. You felt selfish for getting upset but you also recognize that what the two of you had going on wasn’t healthy either. If he wanted it to work, he would make it work, you told yourself.

Tom was awoken by clanking in the kitchenette. The place would be home to him for the next two weeks, so there was no question that Harry had ran out to get groceries for the three of you. Tom rolled out of bed, not before grabbing his phone. Did he ever call you last night? He checked. Nope. Thank God.

Tom made the decision then to try to get over you. No response to any of his calls or messages was a response to him. With a shaky sigh, his feet carry him to the kitchen, only to hear the tail-end of a conversation. “I miss when y/n would make us those cheesy eggs in the morning.” Harry said, cracking an egg over the pan. “She’d always put the right amount of cheese.”

With a groan, Tom looks to his brother and best friend. “Don't ever say her name again.” Tom pleads, sitting down at the stool. Tom knew his whim of a decision to forget you would be more difficult than not. Harry and Harrison share a look that goes unnoticed by Tom. “Sorry mate.” Harrison responds, giving Harry one more look.

The rest of breakfast goes as normal as it usually could. Tom craved more than his breakfast though, and the craving was almost overbearing to the real food in front of him. He looked over at the stool next to him, where you would be if you were still with him. He imagined what this morning would look like - the type of morning you’d shared several times before. Your knees pressed into his thigh, feet perched on his own stool instead of yours to get closer. Your body would be turned towards his as you scraped your food off your plate, laughing among the people he loved so much.

One thing Tom struggled the most with, was when you decided to leave, you left the family too. Tom wasn’t sure if you still communicated with him, but there was no doubt some hurt when Tom had announced your break-up. You’d become so close to all of them, that you sitting here next to him in the morning eating breakfast would have been domestic. Your laughter would have lightened the thickened air between all of you. You’d crack a joke or two, pushing Harry’s buttons like you always did.

The first time Tom ever saw Harry genuinely get upset at him was when he told him. Harry took it the hardest - he had grown close to you. Of course, Tom had other girlfriends in the past that Harry had met, but he had never gotten so protective over someone like he had you. He was sure you were it for Tom. So when Tom announced it at a family dinner when his mom was poking about your whereabouts, Harry’s chair screeched loudly, a napkin was thrown on his plate, and out the back door he was to the garden.

“You really fucked up, didn’t you?” Harry hadn’t even turned around to notice Tom’s presence. He knew already. “Why do you assume it was me?” “It’s not an assumption, Tom.” Harry is quick to turn on his feet to meet his older brother. “You pushed and pushed her away. We warned you. She begged for you to give her a sliver of that reassurance you gave her in the beginning but you couldn’t get it through that thick skull of yours.” Harry’s words cut like a knife but Tom knew he was right. “I’m sorry.” Tom whispered. “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.” Harry pushed by his brother, inside to help clean up before he was gone to their own home.

Harry apologized soon after but didn’t fail to mention that he was still pretty upset. To Tom’s knowledge, no one had spoken to you. But that wasn’t true. Harry was the first to reach out, someone you confided in. He was like your little brother after all, you’d spent a few years by their sides. Then everyone found it in them to call or message you. You had ran into Nikki at the grocery store. She spotted you down the aisle looking at pasta. You turned to see that familiar face, that familiar smile. “Y/n.” She said, before you opened her arms and allowed her embrace. She didn’t fail to express how much she missed you, which only made getting over Tom harder.

Leaving Tom was one of the hardest things you’d ever done. When you made the decision, it wasn’t quick. You lingered for months. You thought there would be a change that would snap you back into the relationship you held so dear to your heart.

The phone calls were fairly continuous for a while, a drunken Tom confessing he was wrong. You’d squeeze your eyes shut listening to the messages, telling yourself not to cry. Your finger hovered over his contact several times. But there was one thing you knew - you couldn’t say hello to him and risk another goodbye.

——————

Tom was onset for his newest movie - one about a girl and a boy finding theirselves back to each other after a rough breakup. It was a rom-com, something Tom had always been up for, but it felt different not having you by his side during filming. Though he’d had a rather great break, he spent the majority of it sulking and attempting to prepare.

Tom saw several familiar faces walking onto set, familiar with the director as someone he’d worked with times before. “Where’s the lady?” He asked, shaking Tom’s hand. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Harry’s face drop into a frown, attempting to insinuate that it wasn’t a good subject for now. “Uh, we ended things.” “Oh man, I’m sorry to here that.” The director gave a sympathetic smile before calling for the objective of the scenes today.

Tom felt jittery as it was determined that they would be working on the break-up scene. He stood in front of his co-star, preparing body language to show they were angry. His co-star looks to him, feeding her selves thoughts to bring tears to her eyes.

“You never cared, did you?” She spits. “You know I did.” Tom remembers how small he’s supposed to feel in this moment before the anguish begins. “You are better off without me. Just say it.” “I can’t.” “Why can’t you?” The woman is hiccuping through tears. “Because… I love you.” “You’re pathetic. You’re a liar. You’re lying to me.”

Tom recalls his actions are to become angrier with each degrading comment. But in that moment - he’s sparked. “You really think I don’t love you?” “How could I when you treat me like this?” Tom feels the tears rushing to his eyes, face turning red. “I would do anything for you.” “Then do it! Stop treating me like this!”

This felt all too familiar. A fight way too familiar. The actress is doubled over in tears, and Tom’s character is to feel urged to hold her and apologize. He does, tears streaming down his own face. If only he’d handle your arguments differently. If only his fuse didn’t get the best of him.

“God, I’m so sorry.” Tom mumbles, holding the actress close. He becomes aware of how it’s not you he’s holding. He becomes aware of how this could have been different if he would just listen. The scene continues with mumbles I love yous and a tired girl packing up her clothes.

Tom watches in the corner, real tears falling down his face as he remembers watching you sling things into bags. You had slammed pictures down on the way out. And he knew it was goodbye.

“And… cut! Absolutely beautiful acting, you two! Don’t think we could’ve had you do that better.” The director gushed. Tom was still fed with a lump in his throat. The director reports they can take five, bringing Harrison and Harry walk to the curly-haired boy. “You okay?” Harry asks, squeezing his shoulder.

Tom hesitates, eyes staring forward. “No.” He lets out. “I fucked up. I should’ve handed it all better. Why did I hurt her?” Tom knew people were probably wondering why he was unable to snap back to reality. But that was thing - that conversation had been a reality and it cut too deep.

“I’m in love with her. I am. I know she won’t give me the time of day anymore. But God, I’d do anything for a second chance.” This was the first time Tom had let himself really feel his heartbreak, and he knew it wasn’t the time. So like the great actor he is, he snapped out of his trance and prepared to listen for directions as they called for everyone back.

Tom made his way to the crew, Harrison following close behind. “Keep an eye on him. I’ve gotta call to make.”

Harry walks out into the warm summer sun. He’s quick to pull his phone out and go to the number he needs. With a couple of taps, the phone is ringing. The ring is broken by a simple hello. “Y/n? Hey! Got a minute to talk?”

[peachiimilquetea]

something angsty with tenya leaving fem reader for the event? ty! prompt: “you can’t leave me. i don’t know how to survive without you.”

“𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞. 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮.” + tenya iida

a/n: bro… i don’t really like angst without the potential for a somewhat happy ending so i hope you’re ok with the fact that it’s not completely sad. i did pull on the heartstrings quite a bit tho, i hope you enjoy! check out the event here

contains: angst (obviously), iida being heavily influenced by his family, tensei to the rescue lowkey, crying, insecurities, mentions of alcohol, ambiguous ending, miscommunication

length: 2.0k

at first things had started off small.

iida worked long hours as the work of his brother’s hero agency fell on his shoulders. he tried his best to make time for you, but it always felt like your schedules could never line up just right.

you tried to work something out, quick calls on break times and cute messages around the house to remind you of one another, but most efforts fell flat.

then things started to get worse.

long and empty nights were spent building up resentment towards the man you had married. he was always doing something, something that took precedence over the vows you made when you walked down the isle no more than three years ago.

you knew his family didn’t like you that much, feeling that a marriage for love was a waste of such a powerful commitment. a commitment that could built them an empire, and boost the rank of their hero agency, solidifying a legacy for them.

tenya defied them for you, boldly declaring that he would marry whoever he wanted and that you were in it for the long haul. you were the girl of his dreams, he said, and anything that got in the way of his happiness was not something he would subscribe to. that only made them hate you more.

so when his texts of encouragement grew shorter and more sparse, and he began to have more special responsibilities bestowed upon him by none other than his father, you knew it was on purpose.

unfortunately, it was an effective strategy to chip away at a young and unseasoned marriage.

“tenya can you please just check your schedule? i really want to spend more time with you.”

he sighed and rubbed his temples as he sat in his office. why were you bothering him with something so insignificant? you knew how important this transition of power was for the iida family, for the legacy of ingenium, but you still persisted.

he could feel the anger beginning to build until he looked in your eyes and saw the sadness brimming in them. his heart squeezed in his chest as he watched you, his wife, plead with him to spend time together. when had things come to this?

“i’ll try my best, but i cant promise anything.”

at this point, that was better than anything you could’ve hoped for.

with a kiss to his forehead you left him alone to get the heaps of paperwork he had to do, spirits lifted at the prospect of spending time with him again. just like the way it used to be.

you checked the time on the microwave for the 9th time. fifty-seven minutes had passed and your husband was officially late.

you should have seen it coming really, empty promises were becoming more and more common amongst the two of you. he would promise to try harder and you would promise to cut him more slack, the constant push and pull never being enough for either party.

getting up from the barstool at your kitchen island you made your way to the wine cooler to get a drink. not even bothering to pick up a glass you slumped on the couch, kicking off your shoes and splaying yourself out, just wanting the cushions to swallow you whole and dull the aching in your heart.

he wasn’t coming.

he was never coming.

you laid passed out on the couch when iida finally came home 2 hours later. he was only stopping by for a quick break, then going back out on patrol and he completely forgot about the things he said, smiling through tired eyes as he thought, this time i’ll make it up to her.

at the very least he could clean you up and tuck you in. he could brace himself for the impending fight later, but he was concerned about you. you never drank, not unless there was something wrong.

iida easily hoisted you up over his shoulder, discarding the various wine bottles and taking you to your shared room, although he wasn't sure if it was still considered shared anymore.

he laid you on the bed softly, changing you into one of his old shirts. his fingers ghosted over your cheek as he watched you sleep, the reality of where he was sitting heavy on his heart.

he loved you and yet there was nothing he could do to help at this moment. he had to leave for night patrol. he had to leave you.

his gentle touches roused you from your sleep and your eyes felt heavy as you tried to blink them open.

“you came?” you breathed, voice sounding foreign even to yourself.

iida gave you a small smile, “im sorry.”

your demeanor did a 180 at his apology. he was sorry. he was always sorry. but sorry couldn’t fix this. not when it had been so broken.

you winced and sat up, “sorry for what? sorry that you broke your promise for the thousandth time or sorry that you’ve been such a shit husband for the past few months?!”

“______-”

“no tenya. you do this every single time! every time i want to spend time with you theres always something more important! what could be more important than your wife?!”

“______ you know my father-”

you laughed bitterly at the mention of his dad. he always had to be such a good little iida child, always on daddy’s beck and call. it made you sick.

“your father doesn’t even want us to be together! cant you see that he’s doing this on purpose! youre a grown man! not a child permanently tied to his mommy and daddy!” you spat

“hes giving more responsibility for the sake of the agency! for the ingenium legacy! why are you always so selfish when it comes to these things?”

“selfish? selfish?” you asked, incredulous. you couldn’t believe your ears.

“yes selfish. do you know how much i sacrificed to be with you? how much i already have on my plate on top of trying my best to make time for you?”

you stared in astonishment.

sacrifice?

what had he sacrificed for this relationship? he got to do what he wanted, come and go as he pleased with virtually no regard for how you felt or what you did. what sacrifice was there in that way of living?

“fuck you, tenya.”

tenya took a deep breath and ran his hand down his face. he chose his words carefully before finally saying, “i cant do this. im leaving.”

you could hear a pin drop in the room. you felt your blood pound in your ears as you stood up quickly, dizzy from the alcohol but still trying to process the words you had just heard.

leaving?

“youre leaving?”

“yes, i have to go. im not doing this with you, not now.”

your heart felt like it had been smashed by a sledgehammer, as you tried to regulate your breathing. leaving. he was leaving.

“w-wait,” you feebly attempted to cling onto him as he gathered a few of his things.

“tenya you cant leave me.”

“_____ i do not want to do this right now,” he sighed, easily shaking you off and moving to collect more things. his words were buzzing around on the inside of your skull. he was leaving.

leaving without so much of a second thought. he had been planning this. still unsteady on your feet you hobbled after him as quickly as possible, desperation taking over every fiber of your body. you didn't want to lose him, you just wanted your husband back, you happiness back.

“y-you cant do that! you cant leave me! i dont know how to survive without you, tenya, please-”

“_____, just go to bed. you’re drunk.”

you trailed him around the house,“no, you don’t get to decide when this is over. i'm the one whos been hurting for months you cannot just leave me by myself.”

iida spared you one last glance before grabbing his bag, “goodbye, _____”

crushed, you sank to your knees, leaning on the couch for support. you felt like you were dying., hell, you probably were dying. you had never had so much to drink in your life, and you were desperate to make the pounding pain in your chest stop.

you cried yourself to sleep that night, waking up to the sunlight coming through the window with a splitting headache. you felt like your skull was trying to crack itself open from the inside but you shakily got to your feet, remembering bits and pieces from your fight with iida.

you could tell he didn't come home last night; everything was exactly the way you had left it last night. the house alarm was still on, and his shoes were gone.

he actually left.

anger bubbled in your chest as you thought about what had actually happened. you would not let him get the last laugh, or be the last one left, the one waiting on him patiently to pick up the pieces after trying to keep it together. you would leave too, as much as it hurt, and show him just how selfish you could be.

in a flash, you haphazardly packed a bag with essentials and had texted your friends that you needed a place to stay for a few days. you didn’t get into specifics- your heart ached too much to relive the events of the previous night- but you told them you had reached your limit and you needed to take some time to cool off.

alternatively, iida did not sleep that night. after finishing patrols, he stayed at his brother’s apartment out of pure convenience, not feeling prepared to face you after everything that had transpired between the two of you.

the dark-haired man laid staring at the ceiling of tensei’s guest bedroom, wracking his brain and trying to pinpoint how things had gone south so fast. he wanted to fix things, but really didn’t know how. he couldn’t even tell you what was broken, let alone how to begin to fix them.

his brother had tried to give him advice after listening to the entire story, but there was only so much he could do. he knew that you were right, their father was keeping him from you on purpose, slowly making tenya think that he was in the right in an attempt to break you up, but he couldn't be the one to tell him.

tenya had to come to that conclusion himself. he needed to be the one to set boundaries and save your relationship, but from the looks of it, soon any attempts would be futile.

“_____? darling?” iida called as he came into your home. immediately noticing your missing shoes, he moved to the bedroom in a flash, checking to see if you had just moved them or something.

the room was a mess, drawers left open and clothing strewn across the bed and floor. the bathroom had been cleared of almost all your essentials, and a note was left on the dresser. gingerly, iida picked it up and read it, offering up a silent prayer that it didn't say what he thought it did.

i don't know when you'll see this, or if you ever will. if you're reading it, that means you came back home but you will not find me there.

im tired, tenya.

im tired of always being the one to extend the olive branch or bend over backwards for you.

i refuse to be in that position any longer. i love you… i love you so much it hurts sometimes because i know this isn't the way things were supposed to be. but you left, and so i decided to leave too.

if a way to fix things exists, i want us to find it, but right now i need some time to reevaluate us and what that means. i hope you understand, i know you will.

if you want to reach out, im open to talking about this further, but for right now i need to think.

goodbye.

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