#DUDE I EVEN HAVE HEARTHSTONE NOW?

[reformedmercymain]

Hey has anyone gotten videogame in infinite craft btw? I'm trying so hard to make videogame because I've got ninja & such but I'm so fucked so far 😭😭😭

[rickriordanfandam]

opinions on riordanverse ; my edition

a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!

- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG

- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)

- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up

- PIPABETH

- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?

- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny

- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him

- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear 

- luke didnt go to elysium

- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were  thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such

- tratie shldve been canon idc idc

- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.

- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing 

- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks

- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone

- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while

- tkc and mcga need more love

- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes 

- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was

- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute

- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own

- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND

- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.

- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.

“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below) 

for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/ 

as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture 

i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry 

- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong. 

- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up.  the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic

i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more 

[middle-class-trash]

Rise of the Titans liveblog!!!

that intro made me unexpectedly emotional

So if Blinky is narrating, he can't die, right? Right????

BRO THE SUBWAY SCENE!!!! We're getting right fuckin into it!!!

Steve, my son!!!

I wish Toby wasn't a constant punchline 🙃 it just makes me not take his character seriously

CLAIRE!!!!!!

Something about Douxie decking Skrael at the first opportunity is just so sexy of him

Jim is incredibly brave but it's really reckless to go hand-to-hand with a demigod without proper armor

My heart goes BUMBUMBUMBUM when Douxie looks out the traincar window

Sexy traincar tracks spell WHO

THE WRECKAGE AWWWW

Oh my gosh the people stuck in the magic circle because they wouldnt get out of the way

NO NO NO DOUXIE NO

So they were arrested that early?? Jeez

Nari's such a cutie

"None of us will be talking to you" *cut to Toby spilling every bean*

TOBY'S FACE AT THE END HAHHAHAHA

Something about Nari's voice coming out of Douxie's body is so deeply odd

Oh hey, Krel to the rescue

AREA 49 HAKSHDKSKD

"And your mom."

Oh my gosh he's still broken from Wizards 😂

The Guardians are just dead set on pissing off local authorities huh

JIM!!!

STRICKLER?????

BARBARAAAAA

Stricklake supremacy 😌 they both look so good

Claire listening in 😭😭😭 she's so cute

AWWWWW ENGAGED ENGAGED ENGAGED

......does that give them death flags? Fuck. Fuuuuck fuck fuck fuck. It totally does.

AWWW DOUXIE!NARI HUGGING ARCHIE

Aja!!!!

Your majesty!!

Oh yikes, here's that running gag everyone was talking about.. pregnant Steve

Oh hey, Eli's hot now. We been knew 😂

"Mazel tov!" HAHA

Poor Jim needing a bunch of support to walk 🥺 he's such a trooper

I will simply pass away if Blinky dies

I hope Douxie is okay, we haven't seen him in Nari's body and that makes me ✨nervous✨

OH JKJK

Nari is so goddamn pretty

"Only your presence, not your commitment" is such a rapey saying

"Abra-cadabra, buttsnacks" I love that he still says that 🥺🥺 he loves his friends so much

"Do your worst" *cue both Douxie and Nari absolutely screaming in pain*

Krohnisfere? Alrighty then, that's the first mission

"I wouldn't be so sure of that" AWWW

They fixed the amulet???? DUUUUDE

"For the good of all..." 😭😭😭😭

"Or I could lock onto Nari and portal us there" *dead fucking silence*

I hate how Toby's used as a constant punchline.. a penny? Really?

TRAINTRACK MAGIC CIRCLE GO BRRRR

Poor Nari 🥺 Douxie's in so much distress

Oh no, the new amulet isn't working?? Fuckk

That absolutely gorgeous screencap of pissed Aja

Part of me is glad Nari was forced to do this and wasn't actually a traitor

Ice titan awakening sequence? Ice titan awakening sequence.

Oh Nari. Oh sweetie

Oh my gosh she's fucking tied to her titan

Boiling water!!! Or underwater explosion, that works too. Much more dramatic but that's Bellroc's style

Oh wow Steve actually has a bump?? What the fuck???

Oooh, TrollDragons?

Charlie!!!

"We still don't have a trollhunter" Aja, honey, not helpful

"Does he even trust himself? AJA, HONEY, NOT HELPFUL

Barbara being proud of her son 😭😭

OOH fusing excalibur with the armor?

Aja is so full of confidence, it's a good look for her

Steve being preggo is..really fucking weird. When they said

AWWW BLINKY AND AARRRGHHH

Your honor, I love them

OOH IS IT SOFT JLAIRE TIME

Ohhhh it's soft Jlaire time

He's always looking out for his mom 🥺

"I will always be here (head), and here (heart)" just fuck me up fam

Charlie!!!

Zong-Shi?

"Only death will come to those who go looking for it" oh dear

"The troll with many eyes" how does Charlie know Blinky? 😂

AYYY this where the banner that I found first is from!!! it was so cool seeing my screenshot circulate when we were starved for content 😂😂 everyone was posting various rott icons and banners that they got hoping they'd find a new one

Oh dear.. government

Blinky dear they can't understand you

"Holy frijole" Claire I simply adore you

WOW THAT'S PRETTYYYYY

Troll slaves???

So is Zong-Shi this ugly ass pear-lookin ass

Aja chilling with Jim even though she has doubts is an interesting strategic choice

Douxie, AARRRGHHH, and Nomura? Talk about rarepare

NOMURA CATCHING HIM 😭😭 SEXYYYY

DOUXIE RESCUING NOMURA 😭😭😭😭 SEXXYYYYY

If I havent said it yet, the animation is breathtaking

OH SHIT JIM

aaaaand here come those frozen wings

Nari cant be in control of herself, there's no way. She's still tied to the titan for Pete's sake

NOMURA????

Please dont let this be a sacrifice

PLEASE NO

BOTH CHANGELINGS????

STRICKLANDER??????

No on-screen death, so it's not real. No on-screen death, do it"# notbsmejelreal

NO ON-SCREEN DEATH BUT IT'S NOT REAL

THEYRE TALKING AHOUT HIM PAST-TENSE NOOOO

THEY RBOGUHT UP HIS DADDDDDD

"There's no revelation I can give you" is a great way of saying he's not relevant, genuinely

Oh wow this guy's freaky

Ohhhh so the green thing from the trailers and promo photos is the Krohnisfere

Archie to the rescue!!!

"That's my boy!" AWWE

"Claire nooo, no no no no YESSS, I'm free!!!" Blinky, never change 😂

Oh wow, they're already in contact with Bellroc's titan??

Different note, but the titan's designs are just different enough to make them interestun

VARVATOS??? Okay jk somehow it's gun robot lmfao

WAIT NEVER MIND HAHAHAH HI BUD

....if the bridge falls, can't Charlie just fly them across

LMAO he just saw his death?? That is what he wanted to see 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's too early to celebrate, there's no way Bellroc is down after just a few pinches

Yeahhh

Oh dear... is Varvatos in danger?

Claire being the warrior of the group is incredible and sexy and hhnnngggg

Toby is a Hufflepuff. I will not be answering questions

OH WOW THAT'S HOW HE BURNED HIS HAND??? THE HONRGAZEL?????

ARCHIE SAID GOODBYE??? NO NO NO NO NO

Douxie's gonna be a flat mess!!!

God, plus Nomura and Stricklander

NOOOO DOUXIE YOU BIG SWEETIE

Oh my gosh this is the scene with Douxie trying to connect with Nari, it has to be

"I need to try again" AWWW HONEY

That shot of Mexico was incredibly stereotypical

DOUXIE SWEETHEART 🥺🥺

He's trying to hold her hand???? AWWWW

Oh my gosh he's being choked 😳

NARI BABY!!!!

The huggos 🥺🥺

Jim being frustrated is totally realistic

Wait wait wait waittt do they have the entire titan at their disposal?

"There's absolutely nothing all the way out here" cue a titan. Any of them.

And there it is.

CLAIRE SUPREMACY!!!!!!!

White haired Claire? White haired Claire???

Oh dear it's like.. a little over halfway and there's so much left that could happen

COACH. COOOOACH

OH THANK GOD!!! Steve doesn't need another paternal figure dying on him

Time for Skrael to fuck shit up 😬

I find it interesting how Bellroc and Skrael's titans are both bipedal but Nari's is on four legs, much more animalistic

NARI, NOOOOO PLEASE NO

At least Skrael's done????

We kinds knew Bellroc was the final boss but NOT LIKE THIS

DOUXIE SCREAMING FOR HER

NOOOOOOO

No more running. GODDAMNIT

The three can no longer unite but Bellroc can still fcuk shit up

A HIDDEN PAGE??? FUCK THE WORLD IS TO BE REFORGED WITH FIRE

THE HEARTSTONE??????

Oh shit, the explanation for why Arcadia's the center of everything!!

The only heartstone?? Really???? That's scary as shit, trolls could go instinct without a reliable hearthstone!!

EXCALIBUR TIMEEE

JIMMMMMM

Come on honey, you can do it!!

Aja, honey, I love you so much but now's not the time

THE HEARTSTONE???? FUCK DUDE

.......Steve

Eli the midwife?? ...gross

Jim, my love, my baby boy!!!

The nine of them!!!

AWW BLINKY BEING THE BEST DAD

THEY WORK TOGETHER 😭😭😭😭

FUCK YEAH!!!!!!

"Quiet desperation" is a great word for it

Are we coming on to the big final battle?

Ohnoohnoohno they all said the thing 😭😭😭 someone's gonna die. At least one more is gonna die.

HE'S DRIVINGGGG. LOVE THAT FOR HIM

STICKY SPELL TIME!!!!!!

"Some sort of stickum!" Bro 😂😂

I love how he calls them all Trollhunters 😭 throwback to the OG show where the three of them were all called that

Aja Terron supremacy

Oh it's weird.. it's very weird. Why did Steve have to be pregnant again

Oh dear, there's half an hour left.. this has to be the final battle

JIM

Varvatos shielding Claire and Krel 🥺

Fuck, man, people are getting thrown left and right

DOUXIE MY LOVE

Oh here we fucking go, rematch

NEW AMULET???

Jim's about to get royally fucked up

LIKE THAT

FUCK

WHY IS SHE TAKING HIM??? GOD NO

Anti-magic beacon??

Helloooo that's smart asf

This gives Mount Doom vibes

"Embrace your loved ones for the final time" FUCK MAN STOP IT

"I already was" DAMN RIGHT BUD

NEW AMULETTTT

GO GET JIM GO GET 'IM

DAYLIGHT ARMOR!!!!!!

He was ready to just sacrifice himself like THAT

DAYLIGHT ARMORRRRR WITH EXCALIBUR??????? FUUUUCK

Jim being great at combat is just the best fucking thing

Oh fuck. OH FUCK.

STABBED??????

PLEASE NO, GOD NO

FUUUUCK

"I'm powerless" "You get used to it" WE DONT HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT

JIM HONEY PLEASE DONT DIE

Is that....is that it?? Oh dear god, is that it????

JIM WHERE ARE YOU

I'm calling it now it's too early to be celebrating

Oh god the weird babies

WHERE IS TOBY

WHERE

NO

MY JAW FUCKING DROPPED

NO WAY, NO FUCKING WAY

HE'S GETTING A DYING MONOLOGUE??????

ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, ALWAYS WILL BE

"Itll be the two of us at the end" WHY DOES THAG SEEM LIKE JIM WILL GO OUT TIO

THERE'S NO WAY TOBY JUST DIED

THHERE'S NO WAY

That was sad as fuck but in a narrative way I hope it's permanent

Oh dear, Jim's going back????

Oh shit

WWHAT IS HE DOING

NOOOOO

"I have cherished every moment with you" STOP IT HE'S HIS FATHER

"I FYOU WERE MY OWN SON" STOPPPPPP

WHAT'S HAPONEINGGGGG

CLAIRE

NOOOO

THIS IS WHERE IM SOBBING

THIS IS WHERE IM LOSUNG IT

"Dont give up on me" FUCK STOPPPP

"I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE AND HERE" FUCK IT STOPPPPP

"I would date you for a hundred lifetimes" IS REALLY BEING TESTED HUH

THERE ARE 10 MINUTES ELFT WHAT THEBFUCK

AND WE'RE BACK TO TROLLHUNTERS?.????

HUHHHH

Fuck, man. FUCK, MAN.

Oh, Toby. Ohhhh Toby

CLAIRE 🥺

ROMEO AND JULIET!!!!

Oh my fucking god

"IF YOUD COME OVER TO DINNER" AYYYYY

His smile at Steve 🥺

HE'S HAVING TOBY TAKE THE CANAL???? But wouldnt the amulet still call for Jim?????

"Nothing interesting ever happens in Arcadia" VERY FUCKING FUNNY

Destiny is a gift. Some go their entire lives living in an existence of quiet desperation, never learning the truth- that what feels as though a burden pushing down upon our shoulders is actually the sense of purpose that lifts us to greater heights. Never forget that fear is but the precursor to valor. That to strive and triumph in the face of fear is what it means to be a hero. Don't think. Become.

.......it actually called his name. I can't believe it actually called his name.

The fuck is that ending??? Let Jim REST

[aesudan-kholin]

If Kaladin had actually given Elhokar hero lessons, how do you think those sessions would have gone?

so... i made a post recently about how i understand (i know lots of things, but not understand) literally nothing about them whatsoever. so answering this ask isnt going to keep in line with what i usually do of only saying something if im confident in it and reasonably sure it wont change later. AKA me from the future might not agree with what i think and say now. so just putting that out there.

so the thing about this is it probably never could have happened. elhokar was desperate, and in his desperation, whether this idea of kaladin teaching him was something that he had been stewing on for weeks to months, or something he thought of while drunk (i imagine it would be the former, though he probably didn't think about it in specific, accomplishable ways), he finally worked up the courage with the help of some alcohol to ask kaladin to do this completely un fleshed out plan of figuring out how to make elhokar not be a shit king. now, this was doomed to fail for a few reasons.

number one: elhokar had a very very good chance of legitimately being incapable of being a good king.

maybe he could have ended up (with some guidance) as a good leader at some smaller scale, like a small town, but even that is debatable. kaladin instinctively knows things, and while i definitely think he had a negative bias against elhokar and his King Skillz in that moment due their relationship being at a low point, his instinct saying 'yeah thats never gonna happen' was probably completely correct.

number two: kaladin probably would not agree to it.

2a. in that moment where he did ask, kaladin thought he was being weird as hell and was so fucking confused. he didn't know at all where this was coming from, because he is blind to how other people view him a lot of the time, and by extension how elhokar had been idolizing him. they probably hadn't seen much of each other ever since elhokar tried to execute him and throw him in jail. from kaladin's perspective, elhokar tried to kill him, then is coming to him like he has all the secrets to life, which is very baffling to him. unrelated sidenote i need to rewrite this stupid coppermind article on elhokar i did not write it but i want to fix some shit in here. so kaladin in that situation is like WTF????? in his head but out loud he's like 'um.. i dont know if thats possible for you' which is a rejection. i don't know if he would have said the same words if he was at a relative high point in his opinion of elhokar rather than potentially the lowest point that he got in wor that he was in that chapter (thinking about it the chapter where he was in prison might have been the lowest but this is a low point is what im saying), but thats probably an opinion he would have kept throughout the bumpy road of whatever tf their relationship is.

2b. kaladin has shit to do, man. dude was working double triple shifts in words of radiance, got into urithiru and was like the only windrunner, and was training overtime to train some windrunners to have some squires ready for the expedition to kholinar. after he got back he was made a highmarshall and we dont see too much in the ob-row timeskip but he wasnt getting much sleep either, and he probably had a lot of shit to do when he was awake, battles aside. when would he have had the time to even begin to think about lesson plans for this goal that in his head is sort of unachievable, let alone find time for actually talking to elhokar about shit.

so like even if elhokar did ask at a point where kaladin felt less like he was absolute crap and more like [??????? but more positive than the absolute crap thing], kaladin would still have been like dude what. and kaladin also would have been like dude i do not have the time. even in an elhokar lives au (because the first time kaladin would have potentially had any time whatsoever for that is post-kholinar), shallan would probably be the radiant he was interacting more due to lightweaver reasons. and elhokar has a great deal of respect for shallan as well, certainly not as much as he has for kaladin, but he does value shallan's skill and opinion, and shallan would not only be a lot more willing to give elhokar some support and advice, they would be working closer together anyway because of their shared order. he wouldn't be getting this nebulous "secret to life" stuff that he wanted to get from the guy who survived a highstorm, almost single handedly saved an army, beat shardbearers with nothing but a spear, and fell into the chasms only to crawl back out again even after a highstorm, but, and my future self might disagree on this, but he might have just been looking for advice on how to live his life.

but, all of that aside. lets say that kaladin for some reason decided that it was personally important to him to train elhokar to not be a shit leader, that he potentially thought it was not a lost cause, and if he did then he cared enough to try anyway. postponing kholinar (which he would have the power to do in this case, since elhokar would be listening to whatever he said*) might have given him more time for that after that request, or else he might have had to think about it and agree post-kholinar, which would involve an elhokar lives au, which i dont want to deal with all the implications so im going to say in this scenario he accepted after elhokar asked in wor 80, or maybe directly after urithiru was discovered (aka later that night) with a promise to start teaching him right after he got back from hearthstone. god i feel like alternate history hub. the later that night thing would have been more likely because that is after his whole 180 about elhokar. that way, the weird intense commitment to help elhokar be a better leader was baked in to all the other weird dramatic shifts about how he thought about elhokar.

what i think kaladin would do?

possibility 1: he would have elhokar start small. i think he would have elhokar teach a single person to do something. he would get a new recruit, and tell elhokar to teach him to be a soldier. maybe the new recruit is one of lopens cousins who saw elhokar blackout drunk and being pushed around by lopens mom to eat his food, so he's not intimidated by him. the new guy not being intimidated is key, because he can't just do what elhokar says because he's the king. after the day, kaladin talks to the new recruit then elhokar, seeing what went right and wrong, then tells elhokar what changes to make. if somehow everything went right with that, kaladin would next give him a group of 5 to lead in some way, and if that worked, a group of 50.

possibility 2: a job shadow. either kaladin job shadowing elhokar, watching all his fuck ups happen in real time, and constantly whispering advice which is offputting to the people elhokar is meeting with but its funny. the issue here comes with kaladin not knowing a lot of political theory. as good of a leader as kaladin is (which is insanely), elhokar is more well versed in political theory (as an example think of the time kaladin was like 'why is beating sadeas in a duel going to wreck him its literally just a duel' there would be a lot of situations in elhokar's work as a king that kaladin would probably be similarly confused on), even if he doesn't apply it well. either that, or elhokar job shadowing kaladin, watching kaladin train the windrunners, and breaking to explain some things to elhokar every once in a while, which elhokar would theoretically learn from. the issue here of course comes with how both of these guys both have sort of incredibly important jobs that they could probably only carve out a few hours at most for something like that. unless elhokar abdicated.

abdication.... no i shouldn't go into all of this this should be a separate 2000 word post. but abdication could come into play and is related to that *asterisk earlier.

i can not think of a third possibility, although there probably is one. i would think that possibility 1 would be more likely in my opinion.

some meme possibilities i came up with:

- kaladin lets elhokar borrow syl and elhokar wears a hat and syl is in the hat pulling bits of his hair like ratatouille and basically operating elhokar and she makes him be an ideal windrunner whenever she feels like he's fucking up

- kaladin presides over the document signing meetings and whenever elhokar is about to sign a document he thinks isn't good he slaps the pen out of his hand and has a disapproving glare. elhokar has to do the walk of shame across the room to get the pen everytime this happens

- training montage with "Gonna Fly Now" in the background where there is no dialogue and it just shows elhokar visibly failing and he tries to lift a rock with a piece of paper on it that says "kingly responsibility" and fails and kaladin shakes his head, then there's a training montage of idk him learning the spear or training other bridgemen or other kaladin-y things and wearing a bandana for no reason then by the end of the montage he successfully lifts the kingly responsibility rock

- they just completely switch jobs for a while while elhokar gets his shit together. all hail king kaladin

(+ my first thoughts)

[thatringboy]

I see that you're in some book fandoms now. Neat. Question(s): in your favorite books, who are your favorite and least favorite characters? And why?

This is structured like the questions I get at school, so I had a bit of whiplash, but sure

Here are my favorite characters from the Riordanverse, Legendborn, Leviathan Trilogy and Children of Blood and Bone

It’s all under the cut because of how dam long this ended up being

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn

Bree and William are tired for favorite with Greer and Nick in very close seconds. I love Will and Bree’s intelligence and sass and how wholesome they are with their loved ones.

My least favorite has to be Tor. I know she really had no reason to like Bree, but Sarah at least wasn’t outright rude. Tor is obnoxious from the moment she was introduced and while she is very powerful in her own right, if she didn’t have Sarah to mellow her out, I would gladly have traded her for Whitty.

Riordanverse books by Rick Riordan

For the PJO series, my favorites were Clarisse and Annabeth. I didn’t see strong female characters outside of this series as a kid, so these two quickly became favorites. I like how Clarisse was a pretty consistent character who grew into her own person and found her own self worth during the series even if she wasn’t a main character. And Annabeth is Annabeth, ‘nuff said.

My least favorite character in this series started out as Bianca, but became Rachel. I didn’t like Bianca because my big brother red flags went off when she became a Hunter, but now I sympathize with her. RIP queen. I didn’t like Rachel in the first series because I didn’t see how she was relevant. It wasn’t until after she became an Oracle did I see her value.

For the HOO series: Hazel and Jason. Two wholesome Legionnaires who are children of the Big Three and learned to wield insanely powerful gifts? Yes please! I could go on and on about how much I love these two

I think Octavian is a universal least favorite

For the TOA series: Meg 100% all time favorite. She kicks, she bites, she sics Peaches on people and I want her as my little sister. I don’t have a least favorite for this series

For the Kane Chronicles: Zia Rashid holds a special place in my heart and I’m not really sure why. I just love her. Again, I don’t have a least favorite

For the Magnus Chase series: Hearthstone, Blitz and Alex. Need I say more? Once again, no least favorite characters here

Leviathan Trilogy by Scott Westerfield

My favorite is Dr Emma Nora Barlow. She’s an underrated badass who is just so fricking smart and I love her.

Least favorite is Wildcount Volger. He may act with Alek’s best interests in mind, but that doesn’t excuse being a dick to Deryn

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi 

My favorite is Tzain because of how much magic bullshit he had to put up through. The dude was just an athlete with a trouble making sister and now he’s like the only non-maji person in the entire revolution. Dude deserves a break that doesn’t get invaded by people related to Amari

My least favorite is probably everyone else during the second book. Just sooooo many bad decisions made!

Thank you for reading!

[thefaultinoursprinkles]

i feel guilty cause I love my partner and everything but he’s so fucking annoying sometimes. Like he has a short temper and is a very very very VERY sore loser so literally anything that happens like, dying once in dark souls or breaking an armor piece in Minecraft or losing a hearthstone game he has a fucking melt down about how it’s not fair and it’s so stupid and whatever whatever and then he feels bad because when he loses his temper it makes me un fuxking comfortable and I won’t interact with him until he calms down beyond like ‘that sucks’ bc like I get it games can make you upset and I know it’s not always ‘just a game’ but also his reaction is soooooooooooooooooooooooo out of proportion for the event that triggers it. and like now he’s been stressed out since Saturday because a new hearthstone expansion released today and the new dnd book came out and he got an update on the progress of a kick starter he contributed to and then at work the dev told him they couldn’t do something but then another coworker talked to the same client and then the devs and they could do the thing they told him they couldn’t and so then he had a melt down about how he’s stupid and terrible and then couldn’t get any work done because he felt bad about himself so then he’s even more overwhelmed and anyways. We just went to the game store to pick up his preordered fucking book and the binding is fucked and pages are falling out and so now he’s literally having a breakdown sobbing and can’t talk or express anything. He fully 100% shuts down when he feels any emotion so like the second he feels a tiny bit embarrassed or mad or sad it’s literally full on non verbal shut down for days on end. It’s so fucking frustrating. Like I’m just living my life and trying to be better and he just has less than 0 control of his emotions. Like the second he’s sad it’s like he’s only ever been sad his whole life and the second he’s mad it’s the same thing. It’s just so fucking exhausting. And he will not communicate in any fucking way but he also just sits and ruminates and makes everything fucking worse because he will not make any attempt to problem solve or make the situation better or anything and the only way to get him to break the spiral is to make him think it out but when he shuts down he literally won’t talk or look at me and if I try to give him space he will just completely shut down and go lay in bed and not eat or work or move for literally days and sometimes weeks. And I can’t do anything! And also! I shouldn’t fucking have to! go to a fucking therapist god. but then he’s too anxious about phone calls and money and health insurance to go back to therapy and it just starts all over again and he completely shuts down. I don’t know what to do and it’s fucking pissingme off. Like I work full time, I go to school full time, I do all the cooking, I do all the laundry, all the grocery shopping/errands and then he like get mad and stressed and overwhelmed because the house is dirty but he also won’t clean and throws a fit whenever he has to because he’s got it in his head that I’m the one making the mess and resents cleaning up after me. Like yes I am the messier one but Jesus fucking Christ there are only so many hours in a fucking week dude. I spend, minimum, 40 hours working, and then another 34 hours doing the bare minimum for school (not even cause I just skip doing the readings and lectures and participation stuff cause I literally don’t have the time), and then at least another 28 hours cooking breakfast lunch and dinner for us (closer to 35). Like that leaves me 58 hours in which to sleep, eat, relax, shower, talk to my family & friends. I also spend 5 hours a week in therapy to try to be better, plus another hour on diary cards and homework! So 52 hours to myself a week? If you take sleep out, assuming 8 hours a night (if I’m lucky) I’m left with 18 fucking hours. 18 hours to myself a week in which to do laundry, plan meals, run errands, clean, bathe, eat, exercise, maintain relationships, relax. That’s like 2.5 hours per day.

He works full time, yeah, but he also literally plays Minecraft while sitting in pointless meetings, and the workload I take on in a day BY MYSELF is equal to what his 4 person team and manager do in 2 weeks. I’m just so pissed. Like no fucking wonder I don’t have patience for it. I’m expected to expend my meager amount of personal time on spending hours forcing you to open up and walking you step by step through your problems? He’s also so bad at like emotional support and stuff that it’s extra maddening. I just don’t even fucking know dude. I’m so sick of it.

[racetrackhigg]

I’ve read magnus chase! And I’d love to hear you rant about it!

okay yay!!!

so i love alex so much like omfg

and mAGNUS IS SUCH A MOOD LMAOOO

“you’re gonna be like ‘wow! that sounds cool magnus! can i die in agony, too?!’

no. just no”

i love rick riordan okay

ALSO

JACK X RIPTIDE IS THE BEST SHIP SORRY I DONT MAKE THE RULES

ALSO X2

BLITZEN AND HEARTHSTONE ARE IN LOVE

i hate hearthstone’s parents though

i hate loki as well but i also don’t???

also x3

samirah is a fucking badass omfg i love her

have i mentioned that i love alex yet?

“hearthstone passes out even more than jason grace (though i have no idea who that is)”- chapter 48

BRO YOURE NOT WRONG THOUGH

bricks really like jason ( jason x bricks and jason x stapler is 👌) ANYWAYS. BACK TO MAGNUS CHASE.

i just,,,thor what the fuck. you watch netflix through your hammer instead of actually being productive? and you make a dead dude that has poor fighting skills, a talking sword, an elf, a dwarf, and a valkyrie look it for you? who would’ve thought.

marvel, start taking notes

oh wont you look at the time, it’s loving alex fierro hours! oh wait, it always is 😌

magnus, alex, blitzen, hearthstone, jack, and samirah have one brain cell collectively and it belongs to samirah

what a queen

MAGNUS X ALEX IS CANON GUYS. I LOVE THEM.

i now realise that anyone that hasn’t read magnus chase, or that just doesn’t know rick riordan’s books in general might be slightly concerned-

whoops

[rosemaidenvixen]

Christmas in New Trollmarket

Bringing back the Christmas story I wrote last year, originally a secret santa gift for @mintharpy

with Wizards coming out soon this story is probably going to become incompatible with canon, but whatevs.

If you like fluffy Christmas stories sweet enough to give diabetes this might just be the thing for you

Ao3

The Twenty Third

Jim deactivated his armor and flopped back onto his bed, completely exhausted. It had taken months to make their way to the new Hearthstone, and they had just barely been able to get New Trollmarket established before winter started. Even now there was still more than enough work to do; Jim hadn’t even bothered to wash off the goblin goop from the latest nest he had to exterminate.

He rolled over onto his side and shut his eyes. Worst of all construction of the Gyre station was delayed, the soonest it would be complete would be next Spring. Meaning it would be at least that long until he could visit Arcadia. It wasn’t as if he was lonely, Claire and Blinky were always there to lend a hand or just be there for him, but Jim would have been lying if he said that he didn’t miss the people they’d left behind. Jim took a deep breath and tried to relax, he had been trying really hard to not be bitter about it, but it was the first Christmas as a troll and away from Arcadia; it hurt that he couldn’t be with his whole family. Now all he wanted was to get some rest and not have to think about how lonely the next two days were going to be.

“Master Jim!”

Jim groaned and turned away from the door “Blinky….can this wait, I literally just got finished clearing out goblins from the eastern cavern,”

Blinky grinned, either not noticing Jim’s exhaustion or not caring “I’m afraid not, a situation has arisen that requires the immediate attention of the Trollhunter, once this business is concluded, then you may rest,”

Jim forced himself to get out of bed and follow Blinky out of the room. He’d learned a long time ago that when the someone needed the Trollhunter’s help, they wouldn’t give him any peace until he gave it. Feeling a headache coming on, he rubbed the base of his horns, hopefully this wouldn’t take to long.

Blinky led him to his newly re-established library “Right this way,”

Jim bit back a groan before following him inside, he just had to take care of whatever this was then he could go back to bed, go to sleep, and forget all about how depressing Christmas was going to be without-

“Jim!”

“Jimbo!”

“JIM!”

Stunned, Jim looked around the library, and saw not only Claire holding Enrique while talking to her parents, but also Toby, Nana, AAARRRGGHH, Strickler, and his mom. Who were all somehow here in New Trollmarket.

He froze in shock “Wha- what are you all doing here, I didn’t think the Gyre station was open!?”

Toby grinned at him “Easy, we rented a U-Haul and drove cross country, no way we were going to miss the first Christmas of New Trollmarket!”

Jim still couldn’t believe it “but… why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

His mom approached him “We wanted to, but with all the snow we weren’t sure we would get here on time,” she took his hands in her own “and I didn’t want to get your hopes up only to let you down,”

Jim’s tense posture softened, he was going to spend Christmas with his whole family after all “It’s ok Mom,” he said while wrapping his arms around her in a hug that she just as readily returned “I’m just glad that you’re here now,”

“Now that we’ve got the introductions out of the way, we can move on to the main event,” Toby reached into his backpack and pulled out a small black box “Presents!”

Jim chuckled, he had missed having Toby around, just as much as his mom “Tobes, Christmas is in two days, I think it can wait,”

Toby ignored him and shoved the box in his hands “Nope, this one you’re opening now!”

Curious, Jim opened it, inside was an assortment of tiny gems of various shape and color “Are these…”

“VENDEL’S STONES!” AAARRRGGHH shouted excitedly.

“Yeah dude! We found them on one of our salvage runs through Old Trollmarket!”

Jim picked up one of the stones, spherical and dark green, and held it up to examine it “Thanks guys, I can’t wait to use the ‘Strength of One Thousand’ again,” he said jokingly.

Now Strickler came forward, somehow looking smug and delighted at the same time “While I’m sure you will,” he pulled out a jagged crystal the color of butter “I would recommend that you start with this one instead,”

Jim plucked the offered crystal from Strickler’s hand. It was unique sure, but so were the rest of the stones, and this particular stone wasn’t so unique as to stand out from the crowd.

Glancing up from the stone, Jim noticed for the first time how alert and eager his visiting relatives were. Both emotions were to be expected around the holidays, but not to this extent. It felt like they were all in on a secret that they couldn’t wait to share.

“What… ” he asked hesitantly “Does this one do?”

“It gives immunity to sunlight!” Toby shouted, bursting with anticipation.

Jim couldn’t believe it “Really?”

“DOUBLE CHECKED,”

It was almost too good to be true “So, with this thing,” he held out the stone in question “I can walk around during the day and not turn to stone!”

“I believe that’s what we said, young Atlas,” Strickler said, bemused at Jim’s incredulity.

Giddy laughter bubbled out of him “So this means, now I can-” he struggled to form complete sentences “This is amazing! Thank you guys so much,”

Toby smiled and came forward to get his turn at a hug “Anytime Jim, merry Christmas,”

After Jim and Toby finished hugging and pulled away, Claire and her parents stepped forward to join the larger group. Claire cleared her throat to get everyone’s attention

“So Jim, since there’s still two days until Christmas, and you have the sunlight stone now, we were thinking of going into town tomorrow to get holiday supplies, you want to come with?”

As if they even needed to ask “Definitely! We can get decorations, and cookie ingredients, and a tree, and-”

“Slow down Master Jim,” Blinky gently laid two of his four hands on Jim’s shoulders “We are still setting the foundations of New Trollmarket’s architecture, we can barely support our population, let alone host a festival,”

Jim deflated, of course, just because it was the holidays didn’t mean they could all throw off their responsibilities to celebrate. He had to be practical about this.

Blinky hesitated upon seeing Jim’s disheartened state “However,” he said slowly “We should be able to manage a… small celebration, confined to my library,”

Jim brightened “Really!”

“Quite certainly,”

Jim could barely contain his joy, this was incredible. Less than an hour ago he thought that he was going to be spending Christmas clearing out gnome nests and foraging for food. Now his whole family was here and they were going to celebrate! The first Christmas of New Trollmarket was going to be spectacular.

*                                                                                                                           

“You ready Jim?” Claire asked.

The all stood at the entrance to New Trollmarket underneath a dilapidated train bridge in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey. Jim stood still shadowed by the bridge; amulet with sunlight stone in one hand and the glamor mask in the other. “As I’ll ever be,”

He summoned the armor, the sunlight stone gave it a yellow sheen. Then, Jim slowly raised the mask and placed it on his face, magic flashing around him. Taking a deep breath, he stepped into the sun.

No burning, no sun-staining, no searing pain, only brightness and the barest hint of warmth.

“So, how do I look?”

Claire smiled at him “You look great,”

“Yeah, classic Jimbo makes a comeback,”

“You kids ready to go?” Mrs Nuñez called from the rental van where the rest of the humans were already waiting.

“Coming,” Jim called back.

He had missed this so much, just being able to stand in the sun with Toby and Claire; pretend for a bit that he was a regular teenager again.

The trio hopped in the van and buckled in, allowing Mrs. Nuñez to start the car and head into town. New Trollmarket’s entrance was way out in the Pine Barrens, but they had discovered a decent sized town a little less than an hour away.

As they pulled up to the grocery store, Jim could see it was completely packed with customers. That was to be expected, Christmas was in two days after all. Jim was practically bouncing in his seat with excitement. He was going shopping at a grocery store, in broad daylight, where everyone could see him. No skulking in the shadows, ducking and hiding any time some bystander came close to spotting him. No counting down the hours to sunrise, knowing his life depended on it. Jim hadn’t felt this free in a long time.

Mrs. Nuñez had barely put the car into park when Jim hopped out and ran into the store. Ignoring the crowd, he surveyed the various displays; making a note of the locations of all the ingredients for his favorite holiday recipes. In the back of his mind Jim knew that a lot of them wouldn't taste the same now that he was a troll, but that’s what changing recipes was for.

“Having fun kiddo?” Barbara asked as the rest of the group quickly caught up with him.

He smiled back at her “You know it,”

The Nuñezes and the Domzalskis split off to do their own shopping with his mom and Strickler staying to tail Jim. Jim was so elated by this outing that even his mom and Strickler making the occasional goo-goo eyes at each other couldn’t dampen his mood.

Between the crowds and the wide assortment of items they were getting, the shopping seemed to take forever. Jim didn’t mind, he loved every second of it. Soon enough, all their supplies were paid for, bagged, strapped to the roof of the van, and packed up in the trunk; then they were all heading back to New Trollmarket.

It was late when they finally got back, with most of the humans electing to just make sure the purchases requiring refrigeration were put away before going to get some rest. It was understandable, they were all still sleep deprived from their cross-country drive.

Jim was the last one still awake, going through their newly purchased Christmas supplies, too giddy to try to sleep. Feeling impish, he discreetly opened a tin of shortbread cookies and popped one into his mouth.

Vile, repugnant taste spread across his tongue. Almost involuntarily, Jim spat the shortbread out, what happened, it was just a regular….cookie….

The cookie was normal, but Glamor mask and daylight stone aside, Jim was still a troll. He removed the Glamor mask and deactivated the amulet. Slowly, he looked around at all the holiday supplies they had purchased that day; seeing them in a whole new light.

Jim was a troll and the Trollhunter now, Christmas wasn’t going to be the same anymore. Sure he could wrap some presents and throw lights on a tree, but it wasn’t the same. The safe quiet holidays he spent in Arcadia with his mom and Toby were a thing of the past. The time before he had the responsibilities of Trollhunter seemed like a distant, pleasant dream, once he could never visit again.

Unspilled tears burned at the edge of his vision. The sunlight stone and the glamor mask were just skin-deep solutions. They couldn’t change the fact whatever celebration they cobbled together would only be a temporary diversion from his new life. Toby, his mom, and everyone else  was going to go back to Arcadia and leave him here. All the changes of being a newly turned troll came back at him. Jim could never make a casual trip back home for the holidays,  we wasn’t going to go back to school in January with everyone else his age, he couldn’t even eat a piece of shortbread.

The holidays, his life, his future; they were never going to be the same again, and trying to pretend that they were left a bad taste in his mouth.

[electronicdelusionstarlight]

I don’t... you guys understand. There is a Shadowverse anime. It’s structured like a fucking you gi oh anime, except it’s on smartphones? Dude is a obvious yu gi oh protagonist? Even the hair checks out? Which is literally the fusion between his parents own anime hair?

Like, it’s just super weird to see those same anime shit on a hearthstone like game? “You lost this game so now I’m taking away your phone, you are not worthy to play shadowverse” like BITCH that’s a girl’s phone you can’t just take that away, and you dumbass call the FUCKING POLICE dude’s a thief don’t go there and challenge him! He probably already accessed to her twitter account and is posting all her photos there wtf.

“YOU DON’T HAVE FUN WHEN YOU PLAY CARD GAMES ON PHONE ONLY RANKED MATTERS” like the edgy guy is so fucking edgy it’s a fucking collectible card game on smartphones kid? Who the fuck are you Kripparian?

I want a fucking twitchpresents marathon of this anime I want people to make streams of pogchamps in chat when dude topdecks his ace monster with 3 fucking effects and a in built board clear because this writes itself dammit, I was spewing bile the whole episode how fucking surreal the whole thing was like what the fuck, I don’t even play shadowverse and now I understand it even less aside from its similarities to Hearthstone, say what you will about yu gi oh but when I used to watch it as a kid my mother actually understood the game despite never playing it!

Speaking of games it DOESN’T EVEN USE HOLOGRAMS? It’s portraits like in Hearthstone and I assume the main game, the only full monster holograms are the ace monsters, if you make a anime of a card game maybe ANIMATE ALL CARDS? NOT JUST FOR ATTACKS? ALSO NO ATTACK OR SUMMON LINES?

OR AT LEAST SHOW THE WHOLE FUCKING GAME? EVERY BATTLE IS CUT SHORT TO SOME PASSAGES, I KNOW IS EPISODE 1 BUT GOOD LORD SHOW ME A WHOLE FUCKING DUEL AT LEAST.

Like... what the fuck.

[violetsystems]

#personal

The biggest edition to my footwear collection is still the cat sleeping at my feet as I type this.  She doesn’t use the other litter box at all which is understandable.  That’s my default these days.  Whether things are understandable or not.  Or maybe whether I really deeply care or not.  I was riding the train home during rush hour yesterday and somebody was playing trap out of a chik-fil-a backpack.  I was done with everything at that point I just muttered “Fuck Chik-Fil-A” loud enough to hear.  It didn’t help the dude’s backpack was in my face.  His friend picked up on it and understandably I got off the train at the next stop.  There’s been a lot of people following me around these days and making me feel unsafe.  Unfortunately nobody will listen to me about it so I just end up understanding the situation.  My understanding lately has been to keep myself safe by walking away from everything.  Like somebody assaulting me and my mom on her birthday wasn’t enough evidence that I’m being targeted.  That’s crazy talk to people out here.  Are you sure you aren’t just imagining things?  I ended up taking the Ashland bus home again which ironically is a far rougher neighborhood.  I honestly don’t think anybody with a Chik-Fil-A bag is going to understand the finer nuances of why I’m offended.  I honestly don’t want to have a conversation with that type of person.  I don’t have time to be the steward and sheppard of the lost flock everywhere I go.  And yet people have these societal expectations of me that never seem to deliver.  They walk all over me without my consent and I just have to nod.   I have existed within this hidden framework of rules for years bumping up against the fence over and over again.  No matter what I do somebody seems to jump in and assume control over what I’m trying to do with my life.  Like I never asked.  Literally nobody gives me a chance to speak other than on Tumblr on the weekends.  I’ve described the kinds of behavior I’ve been subjected to for years.  For years people told other people behind my back that I was crazy, antisocial and worse.  But they never understood until recently that I actually had a very dangerous point.  This is traditional gaslighting and in America I think it’s the norm.  I was reading how the American economy is literally financed by debt fueled by overconsumption whereas in China it’s fueled by debt driven investment.  I have as many bills to pay as the next person.  I spend a little time every day to manage a spreadsheet like a journal in regards to how much money I spend.  I’ve done this for years by myself just like I’ve worked out my feelings in real time on the internet.  There’s no shortage of people trying to get you to spend more money.  It seems that people only value you in America based on how much money you are able to spend.  I bought a pair of Gore-Tex converse for seventy dollars.  They’re literally the illest shoe in context of people’s understanding of how I wear clothes.  I don’t sit here and spend hours talking about the clothes I wear.  Nobody cares.  I’ve been invisible for years or worse.  I’ve been a wink or an inside joke that people abuse to sell their products, images, and manifestos.  When I make a valid point it is met with laughter behind my back and mined for intel and dirt in secret.  Laughter and comedy in America is rooted is some deprecating humor.  It makes sense when you tie this into bullying.  People want you to feel bad about yourself for a lot of reasons.  It’s mostly an act of devaluing your self esteem.  That you aren’t enough.  So you’ll spend more or try harder for people who wouldn’t do the same for you.  It’s a pyramid scheme staring you in the face on a dollar bill.  And then there’s the things that money can’t buy.  That some people care about and other people just overlook time and time again.  Self respect at the end of the day or the beginning of a new one is hard to come by.  It’s understandable why I keep to myself in that respect.

I can’t change how shitty I’ve been treated.  I live with years of it.  I thought it might get better clearing it up in a journal.  Writing about how I feel about this or that is about as close to a vibe check as any.  And still people try to play these games with me in real life.  The games prove nothing.  It’s just an excuse to pit people against each other and tear down power.  Like you are cordially invited to the wood chipper or meat grinder.  Your opinion matters.  Except when it doesn’t.  After all these years feeling lost and alone is still my problem.  I recently have come to embrace this.  Who wouldn’t want to get lost and alone with me?  There’s people I don’t want to be lost or alone with.  Because I’ve been there facing myself in the mirror.  We can talk for hours about all the good we are doing and there’s no record of any work or activity to show for it.  When I was on Facebook I used to relentlessly post my miles I tracked in my running app.  They’d go ignored for years.  I’d check into the gym and it would echo in the digital staleness of the platform.  Really nobody cared or understood what these things meant to me.  The minute I would share something that inspired me I would be talked over or the conversation would shift to another person.  I just basically defaulted to thinking nobody cared about me.  I didn’t want to burden the world with how that made me feel.  But I wrote about it here week after week.  And I never lied when I sat down to sketch it out.  It’s just that nobody really understood how bad everything had gotten for me.  I have lived a literal fucking nightmare for the last two or three years.  Ironically I quit drinking around the same time.  That part was me understanding I wasn’t doing anything positive for myself with that habit.  People asked in a hushed whisper online if I “got help.”  I just fucking quit.  Like I quit huge portions of my life that were complete bullshit.  I’m constantly reminded how I don’t fit into those parts of my life when they return to haunt me.  Ignore my pain for years and then suddenly show up again to try the same old socialite bullshit.  We’re all in this together.  Except when people alienated me for years.  This isn’t something new or shocking for me.  I understand other people are coming to the very same realization.  People in America use the English language like a bulldozer.  They talk emphatically with a concerned tone about how much they care.  They never give you a chance to question why.  They’re always doing the questioning.  They always have the right answers tied to the right texts that nobody has ever really heard of.  I get these emails about how my name was mentioned in this or that academic paper.  I have to pay a fee to sign in to find out which.  So literally I have to pay a fee to figure out who is plagiarizing and conceptualizing my life.  Just like I bought all this street wear gear to be noticed and just ended up victimized and shunned.  There’s a wall out there for sure you can’t pass.  It’s a fence that has no logic other than rich people who don’t think you’ve paid enough to be human.  And these are numbers that don’t really work well with a nonprofit salary.  And yet I still do what I can with it and hold my ground.  Because this shitty behavior is not sustainable.  And the real vibe check is that I am done with everything and beyond anger and frustration.  Sadly I’m the one with the answers to my problems.  And the only answer I’ve found is staying away from the disrespect.  That and saying what I feel whenever I feet like it.  Because nobody cares anyway.  They’ll applaud how brave I am then figure out a new way to poke me with a stick.

I’ve always thought the best I could be was being a good person.  I’ve made a lot of sacrifices nobody understood to be that person.  People distrusted me for years.  I only recently began to realize that this was not my fault.  I can’t possibly do anything else in my life to get people to trust me.  People have dug down so far deep into my life it is insulting.  If you bring it up to anyone the first thing they’ll do is doubt you.  Typical stage one gaslighting.  “How can you be sure?” in a concerned tone is really just “Why are you rocking the boat?” in America.  I can be sure enough that most people out here don’t value the sacrifices I’ve made.  They can’t fathom them because they don’t pay attention.  They say they know me behind my back.  How that one time they saw me out of context.  People for the record haven’t hung out with me for months if not years.  I used to play magic down the street and then people got cocky.  Now I play Hearthstone online and developers still get cocky but it’s far different.  There’s an actual community there with complex thoughts on everything.  Some of them I agree with.  Other things like Hong Kong I feel are none of my fucking business at this point.  I don’t think anybody cares about the nuances of how unhappy I am with politics these days.  I keep out of discussions now because they go nowhere.  Americans want you to say things out loud so they can put you on record.  Somewhere they can either use your opinion to sell a product or a service.  Maybe even a patriotic ideology.  I write enough reviews on Amazon to know the functionality of that.  Somebody asked the other day if an acrylic paint I reviewed could be used on silk fans.  I answered the question as non-biased and informative as I could for a white guy and moved on.  For a person who drinks as much coffee as I am nobody understands that I have a subscription.  I spent seventy dollars a month for a month’s supply of single origin coffee.  Meanwhile people at work are always trying to sell me on something else.  How my coffee habits are meaningless unless I spend money into this or that pool.  How Blizzard is evil and doesn’t deserve my support.  How I need to convince people my view on Hong Kong is correct when they’ve never even been there.  There’s times when my opinion is valued and I share it.  And then there’s times when people don’t listen to a word I say.  They have absolutely no understanding of why I live and breathe let alone choose to support.  They show no care.  They simply target, bully and neutralize.  If they fail they deal with the awkwardness of their assault by pretending I don’t exist.  That’s the real wall.  How you will never be good enough in some people’s eyes.  Because you might just realize your value and leave all together.  Take your money, your care, and your attention elsewhere.  Maybe even to another country where the debt is driven by investment instead of hyper conspicuous consumption.  Really after all these years of suffering in America I feel like I have no value to this country.  I’ve been raked under the coals so much and scrutinized for no reason.  If people really were watching and paying attention they’d know how much hurt I’ve been through.  I’ve stayed accountable for my actions so I could live in a space where I could love myself.  Which makes it highly understandable why I keep to myself and stay out of the public eye these days.  It is not safe for me and has not been for a very long time.  You can only be brave for so long until somebody finds a way to make you a martyr.  In that respect I’ve carried enough crosses to know you’ll never cross that line with me.  Especially if you eat at Chik-Fil-A in 2019.  Eat a real fucking chicken sandwich you dumb fuck.  <3 Tim

[unabashedrebel]

Prison Break- Epilgoue

{An epilogue of this story}

Their journey had only taken a few days to make it from the golden shores of Elwynn to the colder marshes of Menethil. Three days stuck in a confined cabin out of fear of being discovered as stowaways- and worse Stockade escapees of the Horde. Seventy-two hours of a ship that rocked back and forth against the harsh waves of Azeroths ocean.

A seafarers life was something Kirollis was used to. His family had owned a shipping company for centuries, not that he enjoyed the high seas, but he was at least used to the sway of a ship. His companion, however, was not as lucky. The telltale sound of dry heaves only prompted the rogue to slide a metal bucket towards the other bunk before the harrowing sounds of relief soon followed with a metallic tinge into the pale.

“I hate sailing.” Dak’renth, Kirollis former cellmate, had muttered with his head still hovering above the bucket. Lament heavy in his tone as he finally reared his head up to take a breath. The Orc had never looked greener then in that moment.

“I couldn’t tell.” The rogue replied from his longue across one of the small cot. “It’s not why I went and got a bucket or anything.” Kirollis joked at the Orcs expense.

With a grumble, “I was fine with the window.”

“Someone has to clean the side of the ship, you know. And seeing as how we’re not going to exactly make port? I mean…. It’s not like they’re going to make you clean it. Even if they should.”

A grunt marred the warriors disposition before he swiftly changed the subject, “How exactly are we going to get passed the docks guard, anyways? You never told me.” Dak asked in that stern curious tone that the Sin’dorei was soon becoming accustomed to. “Surely Stormwind has sent word.” He reasoned.

With a flip of the page complete with an unconcerned expression in regards to the Orcs logic Kirollis replied, “Welp. We’re going to steal a lifeboat. Should be easy enough, I go start a fire on the front of the boat while you ready our getaway near the back. Easy peasy.”

The Orc slowly nodded his head in concession, though offered no further thoughts. It was far from his area of expertise, after all.

Silence soon overtook the small cabin. Kirollis had made good on his word, not a single courier whether it be raven or pigeon had made it aboard the ship to tip off the crew to their presence. He had even scored them use of a more private and personal room after a rowdy game of Hearthstone in the lower decks. It was far easier for him to blend on the ship with a little bit of illusion magic. Those fel tainted hues of his turning cerulean for appearances sake. Nor did many make a fuss about a random Quel’dorei, as luck would have it. Little stopped them from attaining the freedoms they so desperately craved.

“You also never told me why you decided to live in that cell for half a year….” Dak finally broke the quiet that overtook the room.

Kirollis took a sharp inhale as the question was posed. It was a heavier one then he had hoped to admit. But there was little denying the sense of kinship that sharing a cell and fates harbored. Slowly the rogue closed his book before resting it on his chest. A fleeting glance was directed toward the other man, “You really want to know?”

“I wouldn’t have asked, Kirollis.”

A grunt followed, “I thought… maybe I still think I deserved it. I was there at Teldrassil, I was in the city when the siege catapults began raining hell down on those poor souls.” A hand reached up to rub at his face as the screams of Kaldorei quickly flooded his inner monologue.

“Teldrassil was a tragedy.” The Orc admitted with hesitant, if measured, words. “I don’t think anyone felt good about walking away from it.”

“No. Probably not. We went and invaded their home and tore it down for what? A war that nobody but the people in charge want? For whatever drama they’ve been salty about for the last few decades?” Frustration was abundant in the Sin’doreis tone. With a tired sigh Kirollis went on to admit, “I can still hear them scream when I lay down….”

“War never ceases. It was true on my world, and it is true here too. We’re creatures who crave conflict, but Teldrassil… there was no honor in that. No glory.” Dak agreed with Kirollis in the only way he understood. “But you are not responsible for the actions of another, even if you blindly followed their orders. That isn’t on you.”

“Isn’t it?” Kirollis posed without the expectation of an answer.

A gruff grunt rumbled from the Orcs throat. Taking a moment to process the offered information Dak inquired further, “And what made you decide to rejoin the world? Surely it wasn’t prison life.”

The rogue paused another moment. Opting to push himself up from the cot he rested on, shifting his legs to sit at the edge of the bed. Looking towards the floor Kirollis admitted in a genuine tone, “My kid.”

“A man like you has a child?”

A soft chuckle escaped Kirollis’ lips, “I know, it surprises me too.”

“What’s their name?” Dak asked curiously.

“Her names Soriya.” Kirollis stated, just the mere mention of her name brining a hollow smile to his tired features. “I just…” His gaze shifted to the wooden planks that made up the floor. “I was scared.”

“You don’t seem the type to scare easily, Kirollis.”

“I’m not. But being a parent? A role model? There’s nothing more terrifying to me.” He confessed with a self depreciating chuckle. “I was scared that she wouldn’t look at me the same. Like I was some kind of hero who could do no wrong, who always fought for what was right. I was scared she was just going to see me for what I am; another flawed dude just trying to survive on this fucked up world.” Perhaps the most honest words that had left his mouth through their entire exchange.

A few nods of consideration was offered from the Orc as he mulled over that telling statement. “At one point or another all children realize their parents aren’t the perfect beings they appear to be growing up. We all make mistakes, we all have shortcomings. She will understand.” Dak stated confidently.

The words were oddly comforting to the conflicted rogue. Reaching a hand up to his face a pointer finger would subtly clear the accumulating waterworks that threatened to break his tough facade. “I hope you’re right, because honestly? The only reason we’re here is because I couldn’t stand just leaving it like that. Just becoming some obscure memory of another person who left her. She deserves better then to have her dad wallowing in self pity in some cell.”

“Then give her better.” Dak encouraged.

A confirming nod was given as Kirollis cast an appreciative smile in the Orcs direction. “You sound like you have experience with the whole offspring thing.”

“I had a son once. A long, long, time ago.”

“What happened to him?”

“He died a warrior's death.” Dak stated in a firm yet proud tone. “He was on the cusp of adulthood when the original Horde came through the Dark Portal. I wanted him to fight alongside me in the strange new lands. It… I think about it sometimes. I wonder if he would still be here if I hadn’t pushed him to war.”

Kirollis’ ears drooped at his friends concession. Certainly he didn’t take the Orc as a family man prior to this particular conversation. But the loss of a child was something he was no stranger to. Rising from his seated position, the rogue closed the short gap between the two as he rested a hand against the Orcs shoulder. “I think about that sort of thing too often. The truth is? We can go over everything we could have done differently. It doesn’t change the past. It’ll never change the past. Sometimes… even the things that hurt us most make us who we’re supposed to become.” A line his daughter once told him.

A slow nod came from the Orc, “Easier said then done but… I appreciate your sentiment.”

Kirollis’ patted the Orcs shoulder, “Good. Well, now that we got our feelings out of the way- what’cha say we get the hell out of here?”

[gamestreamingsetup]

Guide To Twitch Streaming

Who wants to sit and watch people play video games all day? Millions of people, it turns out. Live-streaming website Twitch is one of the biggest things in games, with 15 million daily viewers who come to watch the wealth of professional tournaments, gaming talk shows and casual solo sessions that the site's 2-million-plus broadcasters offer.

Twitch's biggest streamers are a new breed of Internet celebrity, with legions of dedicated fans who tune in daily to watch them dominate Fortnite matches or hilariously scream their way through horror games. Many of these personalities have a litany of sponsors and hundreds of thousands of social media followers — two traits more typical of a pro athlete than someone who plays video games for a living.

But while only a lucky few make it to the NBA or the NFL, anyone with a decent gaming PC or modern game console can be a Twitch streamer. If you want to take a shot at Twitch stardom, here's everything you need to know about how to become a Twitch streamer, from basic hardware requirements to tips from the pros on keeping viewers happy.

What You Need to Become a Twitch Streamer A Good Computer

Although there are a few exceptions I'll outline below, you'll likely be doing most of your streaming from a gaming laptop or gaming desktop PC. As far as specs go, Twitch recommends having at least an Intel Core i5-4670 processor (or its AMD equivalent), 8GB of RAM and Windows 7 or newer. (Don't worry; you can stream from a Mac, too.)

If you're streaming PC games, you'll need a graphics card strong enough to support whatever you're playing and, ideally, one that supports DirectX 10 and up. The faster your Internet connection, the better — you should probably aim to have an upload speed of at least 3MB per second, which should be attainable on most home Internet connections or even via mobile.

While we recommend streaming from a desktop if possible, going live from a laptop is totally doable with the right specs. If you want to go the mobile route, be sure to check out our guide to streaming to Twitch from a laptop.

One PC or two?

While Twitch's core system requirements are pretty forgiving, streaming and playing graphically intense games at the same time can put quite the load on your computer. Some popular streamers remedy this by using two PCs at once — one for gaming, and another for broadcasting. If that sounds too complicated, you can check out desktops such as CyberPower's Pro Streamer, which houses two complete PCs in a single body.

Fortunately, thanks to to recent strides made by Nvidia, creating a high-quality stream from a single PC is becoming more feasible. If you own a gaming desktop or laptop with one of Nvidia's new RTX graphics cards, you'll be able to take advantage of Nvidia's dedicated hardware encoder that's built into each card. This essentially relieves your CPU of having to do too much of the heavy lifting.

Open Broadcaster Software, which we'll touch on below, is optimized for the new Nvidia cards, meaning that it's quite easy to get a smooth single-PC stream going so long as you've got OBS as well as a system with an RTX 2060, 2070, 2080 or 2080 GPU.

A Twitch account

You can visit Twitch.tv to join for free, and you should probably add a custom avatar, banner and description so that viewers can learn a little bit about you. If you want to make sure that all of your broadcasts are temporarily archived for later viewing, you can head to Settings > Channel & Videos > Archive Broadcasts.

Streaming Software

The most essential part of any streamer's tool kit, broadcasting software lets you show your gameplay to the world. The two most commonly used streaming programs are Open Broadcasting Software (OBS), which is completely free, and XSplit, which has a highly intuitive interface but requires a paid subscription in order to use its key features.

Regardless of your choice of software, setting up your stream consists of the same general steps: picking your sources (such as your computer monitor, gameplay feed or webcam), laying out how they'll all appear for the viewer, and finally, syncing up your Twitch account and going live.

Microphone and Camera

While you can technically get by with a gaming headset, you'll want a dedicated microphone so that your viewers can hear you clearly. The $129 Blue Yeti is our favorite USB mic thanks to its crisp audio quality and adjustable pickup modes. If you're on a tight budget, consider the $36 Samson Go Mic; for something more portable, check out the $99 Blue Yeti Nano. For more on microphones, be sure to also check out our podcasting guide.

If you don't already have a webcam and want to show your face, the $49 Logitech HD Pro C920 is our top overall pick thanks to its sharp 1080p capture quality and wide field of view. The $99 Logitech C922 offers the same quality but with automatic background removal, which allows you to superimpose yourself onto your game without the need for a green screen. There's also the $99 Razer Kiyo, which is similarly sharp and offers a built-in ring light for illuminating your face.

Streaming from Consoles

If you're wondering how to become a Twitch streamer without any fancy PC hardware, both the Xbox One and PS4 let you stream directly from your console, without any extra devices or software. On Xbox One, you'll just need the free Twitch app; on PS4, you can go live right from the system's Share menu. Folks on Xbox can also stream directly to Microsoft's Mixer platform, which is just as easy to set up. While you won't get to customize your stream the way you would from your PC, console streaming is still a great way to get your feet wet.

If you want to stream from your Nintendo Switch or any other console (or just want more control over your broadcast), you'll need a capture card that records your console gameplay to your PC.

The most popular capture card option out there is the $129 Elgato Game Capture HD, which seamlessly records 1080p video from Xbox One/360, PS4/PS3, Wii U and just about any other system with an HDMI output. It also has a Component adapter, in case you want to stream from one of your dusty retro consoles. If you want smoother, 60-frame-per-second streams, you can step up to the $151 Elgato HD60.

Twitch is home to a growing stable of bona fide gaming celebrities who make their living broadcasting — but not just because they play the latest games or have a fancy stream setup. The top Twitch streamers are true entertainers; some are known for their incredible Call of Duty headshots, while others are famous for blowing through entire Zelda games in 20 minutes. But more than that, they're just great personalities.

"[Our top streamers] are humble, friendly, highly interactive and treat the people in their chat as if they are the stars of the show," said Chase (yep, just Chase), Twitch’s director of public relations.

If you're looking to get into the finer points of growing an audience, popular Hearthstone player Jeffrey "Trump" Shih's "Streaming 101" video is an excellent place to start. Shih neatly breaks down the core components of streaming into an acronym he calls OPTICS (Opportunity, Presence, Technology, Interaction, Consistency and Skill), noting that focusing on any number of these factors could help you make a name for yourself.

Grow big enough on Twitch, and you just might be offered a partnership, which allows you to get a cut of broadcast revenue and offer your viewers exclusive perks in exchange for a monthly subscription fee. No matter what level of Twitch stardom you're shooting for, here are tips from some of the streamers who do it best.

Find Your Niche / Games You Enjoy Playing

How do you stand out among Twitch's 2 million streamers? For Burke Black, all it took was a pirate hat and lots of patience. After two years of steady streaming, Black is now a partnered broadcaster with more than 23,000 followers that tune in to catch his late-night, swashbuckling-themed antics.

Fire up any of Black's broadcasts, and you'll see him in full brown-and-beige pirate garb, complete with a skull-and-crossbones bandana and an epic beard to match. The 36-year-old is the farthest thing from imposing, though, as he giggles and cheers his way through anything from Grand Theft Auto V to Pirates! (naturally) while enthusiastically chatting with his viewers.

"I consider it a show, not just some dude streaming games," Black said. "People come in because they like the atmosphere … [it's a] nice friendly environment where they can come and have a good time with some cheesy pirate stuff going on."

Becoming a pirate isn't the only way to stand out on Twitch. Perhaps you're exceptionally skilled at the world's most obscure platformer, or you have a really cute dog you can put in front of the camera while you blast through Counter-Strike matches. Find your specialty, and run with it.

Be Consistent

Consistency is crucial — just as people tune in to their favorite TV shows at the same time every night, they should know exactly when you'll be live on Twitch. Whether you broadcast in the afternoon or the wee hours of the morning, stick to your schedule, and make sure it's prominently displayed across both your Twitch page and social media sites.

"You will never get the same viewers if you stream at random times when you are just starting out," said That's Cat, a 26-year-old streamer that specializes in survival games and has almost 30,000 followers.

Make Some Friends

Sonja "OMGitsfirefoxx" Reid is one of Twitch's biggest stars, with more than 631,000 followers and her own merchandise store. While much of her success can be attributed to her unfiltered sense of humor and constant interaction with her viewers, one of her biggest breaks came from working with others.

"We started a daily Minecraft stream, with the idea of just playing some Minecraft with friends and hanging out," said Reid of "Mianite," a series in which she and other popular Twitch stars broadcast their daily hijinks in the popular crafting game. "It blew up, and turned into a huge series, which is going into its third season."

That's Cat also made a name for herself by playing with other broadcasters. In fact, the streamer had 500 Twitch followers before she even went live on her own channel, simply because she made plenty of friends beforehand.

"I ended up having over 80 viewers [on] my first stream, because of my presence in the community prior to streaming," said Cat, who got offered a partnership after just three months of broadcasting.

Be Very Interactive w/ Your Audience

What sets Twitch streams apart from other forms of entertainment is that the audience is almost always a key part of the experience. All Twitch broadcasts are accompanied by a chat room, which allows streamers to interact directly with the people who support them. The more you make your viewers feel like they're sitting on the couch with you while you play, the better chance you have at building a loyal following.

Reid affectionately refers to her fans as her "foxx family." Even with hundreds of thousands of followers, she makes sure to keep things personal.

"I get to know a lot of my [viewers], and remember what's going on in their lives and chat with them about it in stream," she said. "Having a community that really feels like a family is really important to me."

Audience interaction is a top priority for Black, who has a monitor dedicated solely to viewing his Twitch chat. Black also does frequent giveaways, which, according to the streamer, helps encourage fans to come back every night.

That's Cat's following has grown so loyal that she can count on having viewers no matter how obscure the game she's playing.

"I literally played Barbie's Dream house and still had my entire community cheering me on," she said.

Don't Stress About Your Gear (At First)

Just because your favorite streamer has a super-sharp webcam and a fancy green screen and streams from two high-end PCs at once doesn't mean you have to — at least at first. Twitch's system requirements are quite lenient, which means you should focus on growing an audience before you spend thousands turning your bedroom into an all-out studio.

MORE: The Best Gaming Keyboard You Can Buy

"I started streaming on an old HP laptop that overheated to the point of burning my hand, and an old foldout chair from Walmart," said Reid, who's been able to upgrade to a decidedly better setup as her channel grew.

Be Patient, and Have Fun!

As with any type of success, "making it" on Twitch takes lots of patience and hard work.

"If you're doing [this] just to make money, you'll usually fizzle out in the first three or so months," Black said. "For the first six months, it was just awful because I didn't know what I was doing. Try not to get discouraged, because everyone's been that way."

Black's patience is now paying off; the streamer is closing in on 24,000 followers, and his Twitter feed is full of pictures of loyal fans wearing T-shirts with his name on them. Black, who currently works in photography, is considering becoming a full-time streamer once he hits 500 paid subscribers.

Reid stressed the importance of relishing every viewer, no matter how few there are in the beginning.

"Even if you have three viewers, or 30 or 300, there are people that are choosing to hang out and watch you," Reid noted.

In the end, it's important to remember that we're all still playing video games. Whether it's a hobby or something you hope to make into a career, streaming should be fun — the more you enjoy yourself, the more everyone watching you probably will, too.

[blessuswithblogs]

Video Games are a God Damned Mess: Bad Business Practices, Unsustainability, and the Fidelity Plateau

(shoutouts to the anon rando in my inbox for telling me about the read more button you were kind of rude about it but i don’t use this website so i legit didn’t know)

The video game industry has always been a bit wild and wooly compared to its older contemporaries. The emergence of a new medium is always rife with upheaval as paradigms shift and people discover that the old rules don't necessarily apply all of the time. That said, the past three months have been filled with what I can really only describe as catastrophes for many disparate publishers and development studios.

 You may recall I talked a bit about this during my game of the year list and Fallout 76 analysis, but to recap: with Telltale shutting its doors and shafting its workers, the writing was on the wall for the same thing to happen again as the intrinsically unsustainable boom and bust cycle began the less glamorous stage. It turns out I was correct in my predictions but congratulating myself for seeing this coming is not unlike congratulating myself for accurately predicting that tomorrow will be Tuesday. Or. Whatever day it will be when I post this. fuck i dated the lp thread ruined LOOK the point is that this was really obviously going to happen and that nobody felt the need to prepare for it or try to stop it before 10% of Activision-Blizzard's workforce got canned is a major failure of the industry at large.

So let's talk a bit about what's happened since then. There's been a lot, so forgive me if I miss your favorite corporate implosion. First, at Blizzcon, Diablo Immortal was revealed to what actually might have been the most actively hostile reception of a game in history. This has less to do with the more financial aspects of the ongoing Videocon Crisis and more just kind of served as an ill omen and an example of Blizzard's worrying descent into... wherever it is they're going. If gross incompetence was a place, they would be descending into it. On paper, a Diablo mobile game is a money-printing proposition. When all is said and done Immortal will still probably make them gobs of cash. In practice, however, they fucked the landing so hard they probably lost potential sales. The kind of folks who go to Blizzcon and get omegahype for a new diablo game are not the kind of folks who play mobile games. Mobile games have a Stigma among the hardcore crowd, and also the Ethical Business Practices in Video Games crowd (which as of this writing appears to be me, Jim Sterling, and the Warframe devteam). For a lot of braindead gamerbros, mobile games are synonymous with things like Candy Crush and Peggle, which are perfectly fine games honestly but they're For Girls or some shit so mobile games are bad and for casuals. More pertinently, mobile games are also a ferocious jungle of microtransactions, pay2win mechanics, and generally shoddy design. Command and Conquer and Dungeon Keeper, beloved franchises that have been ripe for revisiting for years now, both found mobile games and they were both utterly terrible. These games make a great deal of their money by exploiting "whales", or in actual human being language, vulnerable people with disposable income and difficulties with impulse control or addictive personalities. Or kids who know their mom's creditcard number. Kids play video games. Now that we are no longer kids (theoretically, anyway) it can be easy to forget that. I'm not the pearl-clutching type, but I think that stigmatizing a genre of games that proudly touts an exploitative-of-children business model is probably okay.

So there are lots of reasons to be skeptical of Diablo Immortal right out of the gate, and quite frankly whoever thought that just pushing that out there with literally no other Diablo related news items (like any whispers of the long coveted hd remaster of diablo the second) was either transferred in from another company the day before or had some kind of unspeakable grudge against the scheduled presenters, to whom my heart goes out to. There is also some undeniable precedent that Blizzard-Activision will, in all likelihood, monetize the everloving daylights out of it. Both Hearthstone and Overwatch have more or less become nicely polished vehicles with which to deliver lootboxes to players for a nominal fee. If this hadn't been followed by a seemingly unceasing calvacade of disasters, the whole debacle would have been really funny to point and laugh at. It's still pretty funny to point and laugh at, but it also has some less amusing implications. Blizzard in particular has been up to a lot of no good lately. Let's talk a little bit about their recent one-two punch.

First up, we have the complete and sudden abandonment of competitive support for Heroes of the Storm. Heroes of the Storm was essentially Blizzard's seething regret and resentment for letting Valve snatch up the whole Defense of the Ancients thing put into code and unleashed upon an unwitting populace. It had actually been gaining some renewed interest over the past year or so due to the developers putting in some elbow grease and making the game both more accessible and just. More better. HotS has also had a modest but respectable eSports scene since the game's launch, with a variety of professional players, shoutcasters, tournament organizers and emergency bugfixers employed. Many of them were anxious about their jobs for months in advance with no word from the higher ups about who would still be employed by 2019. Sometimes, companies have to make difficult decisions and let people go to keep operating. Even my communist ass reluctantly accepts this as a reality of the system we live in. However, there is a protocol about this kind of thing. Giving notice. Giving, you know, severance pay. Stuff like that. And of course this presupposes that this sort of cut to the workforce is actually necessary in the first place. Given that AB subsequently reported record profits for the year of 2018, I have some doubts. Completely dropping support for a game out of the blue is a scummy thing to do to your playerbase. When it is also directly impacting the livelihood of hundreds of people in your employ, it goes beyond scummy and turns right into Unacceptable.

But "unacceptable" is Bobby Kotick's favorite word in the English language so while shoving hundred dollar bills from his latest corporate bonus up his butt he and his friends in the boardroom decided that the HotS esports people might get lonely, so they had better go and fire another 10% of the workforce too. Just because. Like literally just because. His company is doing fine - better than fine! They are at record levels of better than fine. But the shareholders demand more and more exponential growth, so to cut costs that really didn't need cutting, away goes 10%. Will game quality suffer because of this? Undoubtedly. More work being piled on fewer people who are also living in mortal fear of losing their jobs Just Because is not a recipe for success. People are mad about this, much like people were/are mad about Fallout 76 - players of games, industry wonks, and iconic voice actresses alike are no longer tolerating this kind of thing in Two Thousand and Nineteen, Common Era. Nor should they!

Elsewhere in the Game-o-sphere, similar developments are brewing. ArenaNet, the folks wot do Guildwars, went through another round of mass layoffs. EA's stocks have plummeted and Battlefield V "failed to meet expectations" because it only sold A Ton and not A Fuckin Shit Ton, and Anthem is not really lighting the world on fire. After Mass Effect Andromeda's... curious debut, Bioware has probably been feeling the heat and a lot of people are concerned that it too will suffer the ultimate fate of all studios acquired by Electronic Arts: joining Visceral Games in a broken heap at the bottom of the garbage chute. Bring back Dead Space you motherfuckers. Bethesda continues to, improbably, suffer through PR disaster after PR disaster with Fallout 76, a game that seemingly cannot stop fucking up. Ubisoft has received some positive attention for vowing to NOT lay off hundreds of employees for no discernible reason, which leads me to believe that our standards for praiseworthy behavior have dropped alarmingly low. Even 2K Games in all of its monolithic glory seems to be feeling a bit of a Stock Price Squeeze. Honestly by the time I get this done and posted it's entirely possible that somebody else will fuck something up. I'm still kind of waiting on the fallout from Randy Pitchford's porn thumbdrive, but I'm also a little bit pleased that Actual Money Crimes are getting more traction in the news cycle.

So, returning to the main point: the industry is in a bad situation of its own making. It's a scene that's almost always been defined by trend-chasing. For a while, that meant that we would just have to suffer through an endless glut of EXTREME SPORTS GAMES SPONSORED BY A DUDE or a barrage of samey console shooters desperately trying to be Halo every once in a while. Unfortunately, the trend-chasing now extends not only to the games themselves, but to the methods by which they are monetized. Ever since DLC became a mainstream thing, the brightest minds of the boardrooms have been working tirelessly to deduce which method of fleecing players will scientifically speaking get them the most money. Inevitably, when some enterprising little weasel develops a new and improved monetization scheme, the rest of the little weasels will immediately latch on to that scheme and that's how you end up with Battlefront 2's ridiculous lootbox grind and Shadow of War's ludicrous inclusion of randomized lootboxes in a singleplayer action-adventure game. While I'm certain that the platonic ideal of the lootbox has existed in some form or another for decades now, I think that we can squarely lay the blame for the Great Lootbox Plague of the Twenty-Tens at the feet of Valve.

Valve has been known for questionable business practices for a while now (albeit in a more lowkey way than We Fired 800 People So Bobby Kotick Could Buy a New Yacht), largely getting away with it because Steam has been more or less unchallenged as the premier digital distribution service for video games. This might be changing soon, as Epic Games is going straight for the jugular with a number of aggressive moves with its own fledgling platform, but historically, Valve has faced very few consequences for just kind of being petulantly antagonistic towards its userbase because said userbase is easily mollified by steam sales and Gaben memes. When people think lootboxes in 2019, they probably think of games like Overwatch or Battlefront 2 or basically any contemporary multiplayer game. I certainly do, but a bit of fact finding allowed me to remember that Valve has been doing this shit since Counterstrike and Team Fortress 2, and Dota 2's byzantine cosmetics market can't be overlooked either. All three of these games are or were at one point genre leaders and made Valve so much money they basically decided that they didn't really need to make games anymore. A reasonable conclusion to draw, given the fact all three of these games are inextricably linked to their history as very popular mods. Valve just outsources a great deal of its labor to dedicated, naive fans and gives them a pittance of the huge mounds of dollars they make from their hard work. It's a good racket, but it has set an alarmingly poor example to the rest of the gaming world.

Games as a service, in concept, is fine for games that lend themselves well to the idea. MMOs have been using a variation of the model for decades now and that genre is actually like, Perplexingly Healthy. Free to play games like League of Legends and Warframe have also had success with a service model. The problem comes from the AAA Game industry's pathological insistence on shoving square pegs into things that don't even have holes to begin with. Shadow of War, or Assassin's Creed, or any other major singleplayer offering, has no business whatsoever being a Live Service. They are finite experiences by design and that's completely fucking fine and normal. Appending microtransactions and lootboxes to them is a transparent attempt to just suck up a little bit more money from players in the most unsustainable way possible. Here is a small hint if some WB Games bigwig stumbles upon this: first of all, I'm building a guillotine, so you better watch your ass. Second, how dare you fucking make Shelob a sexy lady. Third, (this is the one that is probably most relevant): People are willing to pay as they go for cosmetics and timesavers for games that they like and want to support. I've dumped a lot of money into League over the years because there was a period of time where I was playing it nonstop and having a wonderful time for quite literally no cost to myself, so I felt like buying the cute Panda Annie Skin was a good compromise. Regrettably I would later learn that there are aspects of Riot Games I'm not super okay with giving money to but at the time they seemed agreeable and my friends who work there gotta get payed somehow. This whole dynamic of wanting to support a video game goes out the damn window when you are already charging a $60 entry fee, plus whatever highway robbery pricing you put on the inevitable DLC. In this case, the onus is squarely upon the publisher to provide an experience and content one would reasonably expect of the pricetag. Putting in microtransactions for cosmetics is galling. Putting in microtransactions for actual game progression, like in Battlefront 2 or Shadow of War, is outright insulting.

Many will leap to the defense of these publishers and developers, saying that these measures are necessary to make these ludicrously expensive and lavish AAA games that all look suspiciously like one another. For the time being, let's accept this as a true statement. If this is, in fact, the state of affairs in the industry, then the industry needs to change to a more sustainable business model. When playing Destiny 2, during a big space cutscene, the cute pilot lady ferrying me to The Large Molerat Man's Murderboat had beautifully rendered skin where you could see the pores and the little wispy cheek hairs that swayed to the momentum of the space plane's movements. It was very nice but then the next year or so I heard nothing but people pointing out "hey this game has no content you dipshits" or "the devteam is actually scamming people with the experience system to wring more playtime out of them". The cheek hairs affair succeeded in making me want the pilot to buy me dinner and regail me with stories of her space adventures as I batted my lashes at her in romantic admiration, but also: stop it. You do not need to do this. This is strictly unnecessary. The graphics arms race of yesteryear is over. Nobody cares anymore. Fidelity is plateauing harder and harder, to the point where games running properly on console without having to settle for 30FPS is becoming very difficult. There is an Earth B somewhere out there where Bloodborne was not a sony exclusive and got a PC release with 60FPS support and loading times for humans and on Earth B I am still playing that game for the forseeable future because it is the best game ever. We are far past the paradigm where we are making Tremendous Graphical Leaps with each successive generation. Right now, as of this writing, games look jawdroppingly good. Just ludicrously pretty and grandiose. Continuing to push the graphical envelope for Every Damn Annual Release is a waste of resources: monetary resources, labor resources, system resources. As of March, 2019, what people really want is stability and functionality. Something that runs nice and smooth at 60FPS and doesn't turn its characters randomly into nightmare inverse-Rayman beasts. I think the huge success of the Nintendo Switch, a console with relatively modest hardware but superb functionality, portability, and a surprisingly full featured library of both massive first party titles, like Breath of the Wild and Mario Odyssey (which honestly look better than a lot of games on more robust hardware because of wonderful art direction) and smaller indie games, is testament to this line of thinking.

Maybe that's too bold of a statement. Maybe there's this huge swath of the gaming public that is just clamoring for more cheek hairs. If there are I think they're fucking out of their minds but who am I to judge. As long as games like that werewolf game The Order exist, where the universal reaction is "this is so pretty!!! ...wait there's nothing in here." I think that there is a serious responsibility to push back against that because evidently it's bankrupting the game industry and forcing them to violate international gambling laws to stay afloat. Except it's fucking not, actually. Many publishers are claiming record profits, upward trends, and are in a spot to have the raw nerve to say "well this game that sold 7 million copies didn't sell 8 million copies so it failed to meet expectations". They are doing ludicrously well for themselves in terms of generating revenue from sales. Where these highly successful corporations are running into problems is satisfying the almighty Shareholders. Shareholders are sort of like. Imagine if you got a job where you had to keep a large committee of actual babies happy, except the babies don't know shit about fuck about anything and demand that you routinely break all reasonable laws of sustainability and keep bringing in exponentially higher profits or they will take their ball and go home. There is still, evidently, money enough to give newly hired executives million dollar signing bonuses, but when it comes to just making a game that doesn't fall back on exploiting people with gambling addictions, we're suddenly dealing with an outfit of noble, longsuffering churchmice just trying to make ends meet. People are rapidly getting fed up with this blatant hypocrisy and dishonesty. Sales from Hearthstone card packs alone could fund a robust HotS esports scene for eternity if properly apportioned. This money is not properly apportioned. It is thrown into a gigantic incinerator so Kotick can get high on the fumes.

You might be wondering what this girls' deal is with Blizzard. Surely there are more egregious offenders? Firstly, Blizzard is very relevant at the moment because they are one of the highest profile publishers to recently Do A Business Oopsie. Secondly, I live in Irvine, California. Blizzard HQ is a ten minute drive from where I live. It's a local company to me, and it's legitimately kind of hard to see it continue to go down this path because I've had friends and neighbors who have worked there and enthusiastically described the experience right up until the very moment they get canned for no reason. My alma mater, UC Irvine, is one of the leading schools in the nation on adopting eSports into their collegiate athlete program. I understand, to a lot of people, Electronic Sports (please support them) are a big joke silly thing, but to me and my family who work in the UC system, they're actually like a huge and pertinent part of professional life. I'm literally being consulted by my mom's co-workers for advice and insight on how to minimize the abusive and toxic behavior that has become synonymous with streaming and professional gaming because campus now has a huge eSports center with rows on rows of gaming computers for students to use. Games Are Big. They are a powerful cultural and economic force in the lives of millions of people and denying that because of "haha nerds" is the same shortsighted, utterly-lacking-in-self-awareness wanking that resulted in the stupendously destructive "its just the internet, it doesnt matter lol" attitude that has caused the world so much grief. That said Bart Simpson becoming an esports legend sponsored by Riot Games is still pretty lame don't @ me.

What it comes down to is this: the games industry has grown into a hugely influential and powerful institution that affects the lives of more and more people every day. However, the appropriate growth in regulation, oversight, and worker protection has not occurred and has honestly shrunk. People love to talk up Satoru Iwata because when the Wii U was floundering he took a massive pay cut and refused to lay off any staff, reasoning that "it will be very difficult for our teams to create software that will impress the world when they are constantly worrying about losing their jobs." It's a little incredible that The Baseline Reasonable Thing To Do has elicited such effusive praise, but that's the world we live in and Iwata-san was pretty alright so I'm okay with it. Both his conduct and reasoning are both solidly above reproach in this case: it is really hard to be creative when the Sword of Damocles is hanging over your head! That’s 500% true! This goes for game developers, community managers, eSports staff, support staff, literally every part of the process that matters, even the totally unrelated clerks and communications people who are still completely necessary for creating games. The only people who don't suffer are the dipshits on top who don't actually contribute to the creation of games in any way. They're still fine. Better than fine, really. That's why people are mad. That's why people SHOULD be mad. Don't stand for this anymore.

[hypexion]

Rise of Shadows: Silent Reveals

Well, they were silent from my perspective. Hearthstone streamers are a rowdy bunch, so live watchers may have other opinions.

Never Surrender! is a generally unremarkable Paladin secret. It helps you dodge spell based removal, which is nice, but it’s not too out there. Fun in Wild since it totally messes up Defile calculations, and also you can use it in Odd Paladin to make all your dudes stick.

Lightforged Blessing is a new way to print a Paladin healing card. Plus, you get to run two copies of it in one card. With all of Odd Paladin rotating out, Heal Paladin might be worth experimenting with, and Lightforged Blessing is an interesting tool for such decks. In can be used early on to help get healing triggers, or later to get a big health boost. Having Twinspells means you can take both of those options, which is nice. Plus, it reduces Shirvallah’s cost by four mana overall, which is useful. Especially since Lightforged Blessing is the kind of survivability card you’d run in a Shirvallah combo deck.

EVIL Conscripter is another Lackey card. This is probably worth running over EVIL Cable Rat if you’re playing Priest, since in the early game the delay on getting a Lackey is a price worth paying for the extra stats. Since EVIL Conscripter is also almost fully valued as a minion, it’s more likely to see play even if Lackeys aren’t so great. But even then, if Lackeys turn out to be a total dud, Priest probably has better options? I mean, Radiant Elemental and Shadow Ascendant are rotating out, but maybe Rise of Shadows will have some more good two-cost minions for Priest.

EVIL Genius is a Warlock minion that kills minions to get your more minions. Which you can sacrifice for more Lackeys. Sacrife cards haven’t been amazing historically, but maybe it’s time for a change. With Keleseth finally going away, two cost minions have a place in decks again. Of course, there aren’t that many eggs available post-rotation, so unless we get some good fodder, EVIL Genius might falter even if Lackeys are good.

Unleash the Beast is a perfectly normal Hunter minion, except it’s a spell, because “Spell Hunter“ or something equally weird. While the Twinspell effect is probably bumping the cost up, I think Unleash the Beast is probably entirely decent. Even if it’s not a Constructed winner, it’s probably good for Arena, since it helps with board control. Unleash the Beast does work with Zul’jin, so the Spell Hunter dream isn’t dead. In fact, it might be healthier than even now that people aren’t tempted to go 100% spells in a class without that much actual spell synergy.

Keeper Stalladris is the second big Choose One synergy card, here to replace Fandrel Stranglehelm (is that his name?). Of course, Stalladris’ ability only works for spells, because it really wouldn’t work for minions. At only two mana, this is another synergy Legendary that’s incredibly easy to combine with the cards you want to use it with, so I think Stalladris is pretty playable. He’s also a pretty neat way to give cards Twinspell without actually giving them Twinspell, so props to Team Five for doing something kind of cool.

It’s Vereesa, the [adjective] third Windrunner sister! Fans of Vereesa will sure be happy to see her, in all her [adjective] glory.

Yeah, I have no idea who this person is. But Vereease does give you a mysterious “Thori’dal“, because actually describing what a card does is for chumps and paper games. Extra Spell Damage is nice, even for Hunter, and getting it in a hard to remove way is even better. I think Hunter has enough damaging spells that Thori’dal isn’t a complete waste of time, but at seven mana, you’ll probably need a plan to exploit it. Also, it’s important to remember to turn it on before use, as otherwise you might missed lethal in a terribly embarassing way.

[wintersoldeer]

3 fandoms tag game

@rabbitheartrosie​ tagged me!

Rules: Choose any three fandoms and answer the questions, then tag people you want to know better.

The three chosen fandoms:

Rick Riordan: pjato/mcga

Väinö Linna: tuntematon/pohjantähti

JRR Tolkien: lotr 

ok i know im probably going to ramble again so here’s a read more

The first character you loved:

Luke, probably, it’s been so long..! i might’ve liked percy himself a lot but luke was a Favourite, that’s for sure

Rokka, i was so determined to not like him, but turns out i am a cliché (he was the only character i knew beforehand, by name at least)

The black riders??, talk about it being a long time ago... but i do remember loving the black riders and galloping around the house and warning my very confused friend about how “the black riders are coming!!”. and i remember drawing them a lot! tho i used to love and draw sauron a lot too.... it’s been fifteen years so, idek....

The character you never expected to love so much:

does anyone ever expect to love a character?? but probably the only logical one is Hazel re: the characters you didn’t like at first, but do now.

fuckin any of them. i never expected to actually like these books... let’s go with Akseli, bc i fricking love him it’s unreal

Boromir?? what a good dude who i’m sure i didn’t care about the first few times i read the book

The character you relate to the most:

uh..... what does that even mean

just call me Vanhala

i dont know?? i want to be a hobbit, for i have no need for adventures

Character you’d slap:

fricking no one bc im afraid

that theyd slap be back, also

violence is wrong

Three favorite characters: (three per one thing??? thats gonna be a lot harder than one per one or million per one)

Hearthstone, Blitzen, Hazel Levesque

Akseli Koskela!!!x3 (x30000) ...jk...., Määttä, ohgod i cant pick just one more...Rokka

Samvais Gamgi!!!!!, Faramir, Éowyn

Character you liked at first, but don’t like anymore:

Percy Jackson himself... i still like him in the first books, but gooooodddss, i am so tired of his cameos and whatever, i just don’t care anymore. also i never liked percabeth *gasp!!* and it seems that nowadays there’s no percy without percabeth, so there’s that... ok when i say i never liked i mean i have always very much disliked it............. why couldn’t u just let them be friends!!!! *still bitter after ten years* (wow ok that came from somewhere deeep, i thought i had accepted this years ago, but apparently not ha ah ha)

Vilho Koskela, i mean i still really like him......... but now i love his dad so much more that he can never compare. hähä really im just using this as an excuse to tell you all again that i love akseli koskela

uhhh... i vaguely remember liking Gandalf the Grey, but then not really caring about Gandalf the White. But like I said, it’s been a looong time since the first time i read the book. now i don’t really care about any gandalf, so if i remember correctly that i did used to like him, this answer is not a lie.....

The characters you didn’t like at first, but do now:

Hazel what the fricking fuck was wrong with me???? i just remember vaguely not liking her (or maybe even actively disliking her) when i read the son of neptune the first time, but when i read, idk maybe it was, the house of hades i was like wait a second she’s amazing and then i reread the others and was still like wait a second, she’s amazing!!, did i even read these same books the first time?? and after all these years i don’t know what that was about. anyways, hazel is the best.

well since i had to reread tuntematon immediately after the first time to make any sense of the characters, i’d say there were many that i didn’t like bc i couldn’t tell them apart or couldn’t remember they existed

Frodo, if i remember correctly? i’d like to say i never disliked him (i have always enjoyed the hobbit and especially sam and frodo’s adventure parts of lotr the most) but i really can’t say for sure. ten year old me, tell me your thoughts!!

Three OTPs:

Blitzen/Hearthstone, Reyna Avila Ramirez Arrelano/Thalia Grace, Magnus Chase/Alex Fierro

Akusti Koskela/Elma Laurila, Akseli Koskela/Elina Kivivuori, Antti Rokka/Suen Tassu

Samvais Gamgi/Frodo Baggins, uhhhh i dont know... legolas/gimli, faramir/éowyn.. sure

[xmenthefanficseries]

Sigyn MCU Headcanon - Part Nine

This is a continuation of my personal canon-compliant Sigyn headcanon which I would like to write into a fan fiction but it would take way to long. So here are the highlights.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | TL;DR

Journey Into Mystery Season One Episode Two

 Episode Two: We get to the re-introduction of Sigyn into the timeline.

 Sif hunts down some texts on the Yggdrasil, where it touches the realms. These are likely places for were the hearthstones could be, but the texts are all written in an ancient language no one there can read. The Asgardian who wrote it was killed during Ragnarok, along with all his family members.

 Sif: “All but one.” Lorelai: “Are you talking about Sigyn? She was banished, what, fifty years ago? Is she even still alive?” Sif: “She was alive at least before Loki’s fall from the Bifrost. I know he had been in contact with her.” Leah!Loki: -mentally going ‘oh shit oh shit oh shit’- Sif: “I will send out a message across the realm in a code we used as children. I will say her banishment has been lifted, she can return home, and have her meet us here.” Leah!Loki: “Her banishment hasn’t been lifted.” Sif: “I will send word to Thor. I have no doubt he will welcome Sigyn back. It was Loki’s fault she was banished in the first place.”

 This leads to Darcy asking someone to please explain to her what is happening. She’s filled in that Sigyn is the daughter of Eir and some dude who studied the Yggdrasil. That she is the Goddess of Fidelity and she was banished because she took the blame for murdering a Kree general during peace talks even though EVERYONE knew Loki was at fault, because it’s always Loki’s fault. Cue lots of facial expressions from Leah!Loki ranging from anger to embarrassment to this cannot end well for all parties involved.

 They also explain Sigyn’s power and how amazing and powerful it is. Darcy gets it, she’s a political science PhD candidate.

 Lorelai: “It’s said that her ultimate loyalty is to Loki, and that Loki could never lie to her.” Leah!Loki: “I think we can safely assume this is not true.” Darcy: “How you think?” Leah!Loki: “Where do you believe Loki would be right now if he had access to that kind of power?” Darcy: “Point taken.” Sif: “Whatever it was between them, it was quite clear that they had a blindspot for each other.” (I fucking love cross-media puns, leave me alone (”not my first prison break” omg, I cackled))

 Sigyn does indeed show up. She looks older now, in the eyes, with her hair cut short and her clothes very non-Asgardian and very utilitarian. She’s greeted with a hug from Sif. Leah!Loki (I’m just going to write Leah from now on, and Loki for when it’s Tom!Loki) is hanging way the fuck back. Sif explains that she kind of lied about the banishment thing but they should be getting word any minute now from Thor. But until then, they need help in translating her father’s work.

 Sigyn explains she hadn’t seen him since her banishment, and she wasn’t privy to everything he wrote. She does remember some of the ancient language. She agrees she has the best chance of making sense of the information and says she will help. Sif thanks her and sets her up in a room so she can get to work on it. 

 Leah volunteers to take Sigyn some tea to drink. She enters the room and Sigyn is looking down at a book, making notes on a piece of paper. Leah quietly sits the tea down, it’s all a bit awkward.

 Sigyn: “You never call… you never write…” Leah: “You always know it’s me.” Sigyn: “And I always will.” -she starts to get frustrated, like holding in boiling over rage “Two years Loki, two years you were Odin and you never once thought to look for me, to send for me, lift my banishment and return me home, to my family.” Leah: -turns back into Loki in his semi-rage- “So you could die with them!?” Sigyn: - standing up- “So I could save them!” Loki: “You don’t know that.” Sigyn: “And you didn’t know Ragnarok was coming.” -Sigyn slowly walks around the desk so she can get in Loki’s face- “Why didn’t you send for me when Thor was banished? And then when you became Odin? Is it… is it because you thought I’d stop you? That I would remind you of your love and your loyalty to your family? And how much they all loved you, even if you refused to see it.” Loki: -does that thing with his jaw, trying not to outwardly show all the emotions tumbling inside him- Sigyn: “Or… or were you afraid I would help you? Give you everything you needed to keep the crown, to be the ruler we both know you can be. But it would mean accepting responsibility of Kingship, of not being a savior, but someone who does what needs to be done. That you become the one thing you say you despise the most, your father.” Loki: -all the facial expressions, you’re killing me Tom- Sigyn: “You know what, just… just tell me you forgot about me. Perhaps that I can stomach.” Loki: “I cannot lie to you, Sigyn.” Sigyn: “We both know that’s a lie.”

 Sif interrupts, Loki is Leah again, and Sigyn plays off her teary expression as having to relive the loss of her family again. Sif tells Sigyn that Thor has officially rescinded her banishment, she can return to Asgardia (?) whenever she likes, though she hopes she’ll stay and help them in their quest. Sigyn thanks her, Sif leaves, and Leah is back to Loki.

 Loki: “You’re not going to tell on me?” Sigyn: “I’m sure you have your reasons.” Loki: “Same old Sigyn. You haven’t changed.” Sigyn: “No one changes, Loki. It’s only their priorities that shift.” -Sigyn starts to move back around the desk- Loki: “Sigyn.” -Loki stops her- “Now that you’re no longer banished, you might want this.” -Loki holds out a metal ouroboros- Sigyn: “My magic.” Loki: “I found it, when I became Odin. I kept it on me, through Ragnarok, Thanos, all of it.” -places it in Sigyn’s hand- “I never forgot you. As for why I never sent for you... you probably won’t like the answer.” -Loki moves away, towards the door- “You’ll not want to use that in front of everyone, they'll grow curious as to where you got it.” -gets to the door and changes into Leah- Sigyn: “Loki, do you remember the last time we saw each other?” Leah: “Of course.” -sad smile- “But I’m not that person anymore. I never will be again.”

 Leah leaves and Sigyn breaks down and cries because, omg, these two… ALL the angst.

Almost... finished... I can see... the finish line... urk...

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