#Daniel got the role over Henry so what the fuck

[cardierreh15]

They offered Aaron Taylor-Johnson as the New James Bond (from what I heard) and I’m not too happy with it.

We all know who dfk was suppose to have that role.

[ma-lark-ey]

Grant Headcannons cause I want to talk about him DESPERATELY 

- Grant has a lot of online friends, he arguably has the most friends outside of the Doodlers because he’s in a bunch of Discord servers. He’ll forget it’s not normal for your absolute Ride or Die to live in a whole ass other country. It baffled him when TJ told him once he’d never really had online friends. He talks about all his cool internet friends so much because he loves them all very much. 

- He wears a TON of kandi, also makes so much. 

- Making kandi is a relaxer for him. There’s so much structure to it and also so much room for his expression. He loves making singles for his friends to wear, and he’ll sit for five hours working on a big cuff project. 

- He wears  bunch because the weight of it helps calm him down and keep his anxiety levels pretty lowkey. He still has attacks, but the weight of the beads it grounding.

- He hates rollercoasters, trampolines, and other similar things that re meant to bring you off the ground. He doesn’t like feeling like he’s floating, it reminds him of being in the chimera, since in the chimera he was forced to float round inside it from the hydrophobic boots. 

- Grant was diagnosed with PTSD shortly after Faerun, and it quickly became a hinderence to his regular life. He could function, but not well. A lot of stuff caused more damage than it needed to, so Darryl and Carol started putting together ideas on how to help Grant. 

- He was put in therapy on meds soon after, but it proved to not help enough after  year or two and he slowly devolved back to the bad mental state he was in when he first came back. 

- Henry suggested they get Grant a service dog after noticing that if Grant was going to have a flashback or episode or whatever, it would triggered by something that commonly happens outside of the house (loud bangs, overly crowded spaces, getting shoved or otherwise pushed around, sensory overload, etc.) Darryl really liked this idea, since he wanted an excuse to get a dog and the idea of it being able to help Grant made it all the more tempting. Carol was on the fence, because she’d heard horror stories of what service dog handler’s had to deal with in public and didn’t want her teenage and emotionally fragile son to have to deal with that. 

- Carol caved after Grant got pulled out of school two days in a row from anxiety attacks. 

- They didn’t get the dog for almost another year after that, between getting the money together and getting the dog the proper training to get him certified as at least in training, but soon they had a young greyhound named Bigly. A PTSD support animal (in training) 

- Of course Grant nd his dog are inseparable. They’re a pair. Even when Grant knows he won’t need Bigly at a location, he brings him because it’s a safety blanket at this point, 

- Grant sleeps with two weighted blankets and probably Bigly on top of him, because again, heavy weight helps him feel more grounded and keeps him calmer. 

- He also listens to Minecraft soundtracks or history podcasts to fall asleep to. 

- Grant collects Minecraft plushes and Darryl sometimes picks him up random ones in the store, and whether he already has it or not, it makes him very happy to know his dad thinks about his interests. 

- He owns one of those massive Minecraft bee pillows/plushes and DOES sleep with it every night. It’s name is Honey-ington. 

- Him and Paeden are super close, and he quickly adopted the role of big brother when they got out of Faerun. 

- Him and Paeden snuggle all the time. All the time. It’s rare they hang out with each other and don’t cuddle. 

- This man drinks Mountain Dew like it’s holy water. Henry has tried to tell him how bad it is for him, Grant does not give  shit

- HE HAS BRACES. 

- He does Twitch streams and has a decent following. 

- He’s a faceless streamer and uses the alias ‘Creeper’ like the Minecraft mob. 

- Grant wants to be a video game developer when he’s older, but he also really enjoys making music. Maybe a video game music composer? 

- Him and Darryl really work on their relationship after Faerun. 

- Some days he just really feels like shit and can’t get out of bed. Darryl doesn’t press him to, brings him food and drinks. Sometimes Darryl will come sit in his room with him and watch  movie with him just so he’s not alone with Bigly. 

- Grant has two older siblings, one ten years older (Daniel) and one twleve years older (Jackie). 

- Grant’s room can get absolutely atrocious when he’s in a slump. Just downright nasty. When it gets bad, TJ will come over and ‘help’ him clean, which is mostly Grant sitting on the bed holding Honey-ington while Bigly snuggles him and Terry works on cleaning the room to a tolerable level. He never organizes, cause he knows Grant enjoys organizing and it helps him feel better, so he’ll always drag Grant up once they get to organizes. 

- The only friend Grant takes his weighted blankets off his bed from when they spend the night is Lark. But it’s okay because they have the system that Lark can and will sleep on top of Grant for Optimum Snuggle(tm) AND Grant’s comfort. (Lark can’t handle the weight of the blankets because of the pyramid incident) 

- Grant watches a lot of anime, his favorite is Blue Exorcist. 

- He likes reading fanfiction and has at least six ao3 tabs always open in his phone. Why? Because if he’s in public and gets anxious, he can just *opens up comfort character fic* 

- Grant listens to Left at London all the time

- this mans has SO MANY Spotify playlists 

- He uses Reddit

- Mans also has Pinterest. 

- HE’S A DUNGEON MASTER, PLEASE. LET THIS MAN RUN A DND CAMPAIGN 

- His comfort ship is Klance and he constantly curses whatever sick fuck thought that’d be a funny joke to play on him. 

- He also DOES kin Keith. 

- One time Nick told him to drop his kinlist and he blocked the motherfucker for two days out of spite. 

- He either is in bed by 9:30 or awake till 5 AM, no middle ground. 

That’s all I have for tonight because Mommy’s telling me to go to sleep and I’m a good kid

[mwolf0epsilon]

First off, before everyone comes after my butt with their "No Fun Allowed" and "Cringe" signs, this is in no way something to be taken as gospel or insightful. It's not a prophetic enforcement of canon. It's literally a theory done for fun, and to try to piece the Bendy Crack up Comics into the general and messy lore of the BatIM franchise. 

Most of you get this and don't need a big wordy warning about fanon interpretation, but a lot of peculiar people tend to show up in my ask box hoping to start a fuss over my headcanons and AU ideas, so I thought to be nice and leave a polite and diplomatic "Kindly Fuck Off" sign at the door for them.

With that said, there will be mild spoilers, carry on of your own volition, down below under the cut that will definitely show up because Tumblr mobile is a functional app that's never given me trouble!!!

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[[MORE]]

The Bendy Franchise has an established issue with cohesion in its lore. We all know what I'm talking about, we all have reservations about canonical character discrepancies (game vs novel vs guidebook) and we all have been racking our brains with a few holes in the timeline, as well as how BatDR (which is neither prequel nor sequel) will fit into this, since it's connected to BatDS and that's an established prequel to BatIM.

Granted I myself am missing a lot of pieces, having to scrounge around for info since I can't really get any of the reading material myself and rely heavily on @british-hero (who owns the novel plus got her copy of the comics yesterday), a very incomplete wikie, and analysis and theories from SuperHorrorBro's Bendy videos.

Heck, I also rely on a lot of gameplay footage, because BatIM has a bit of subtle storytelling through visual design of its levels, and hints of how certain characters work through a few game mechanics.

Through this mishmash of collecting puzzle pieces for the greater picture I even have a few notes on my phone to piece together certain events in established dates, something which comes very in handy for this theory since it talks about two particular characters, the Projectionist and Brute Boris (and I guess Twisted Alice to some extent but it's more of a note on some interesting thoughts I have of her).

Without further ado, here's what this theory is all about: Why did Norman become the Projectionist, and why did Twisted Alice turn Buddy Boris into Brute Boris?

If you think about it, there's only two creatures in the studio that really seem out of place in the world of BatIM, and that's Prophet Sammy and the Projectionist. Neither are inherently similar to any of the cartoon characters, nor are they considered to be Lost Ones. They're certainly not Searchers, but while we know Sammy is unique because his method of transformation was different, we never got an explanation for Norman's. It could be that it's a process similar to BatDR's new enemy type that's larger and seems to have bits and bobs stuck to it, but then those big guys seem like the equivalent to Swollen Searchers for the Lost Ones. The Projectionist doesn't really fit the puzzle.

Or at least he didn't.

With the introduction of the Crack up Comics collection, we get three new characters that were definitely designed in the same manner that the Butcher Gang was. Beginning with a corrupt monster forms and then giving way to perfect and pristine rubberhose toon forms.

I'm talking about Miss Twisted, the Brute, and Cameraman.

The villainous trio from the Souper Boris comic strip.

To us it's obvious the artists created them in parallel to Twisted Alice, Brute Boris and the Projectionist, but to the actual canon this actually has a bit of an impact on the Projectionist's existence.

Why, you ask? Because those characters were introduced between 1936 and 1940.

Bendy Crack up Comics table of contents, showcasing the publishing dates of the strips.

For anyone who doesn't know (either from not paying attention to the Joey Drew Studios channel audio logs, or from not owning the books) the Ink Machine wasn't conceptualized or installed until 1942/1943. Putting that into perspective, the only other thing that happened in Joey Drew Studios in 1940, was the conceptualization of Bendyland (which is likely the origin of the idea for the Ink Machine itself).

This means that Cameraman existed well before the Projectionist ever came to be, and that made me think about another thing: The Ink's apparent sentience.

I'll be frank, the Ink is very hard nut to crack. I consider it a form of alchemized entity, others consider it pure black magic, and I'm pretty sure Joey Drew himself had no idea what he was dealing with when he began using it. The fact of the matter is that the Ink is alive and that it has its own agenda. One that coincides with Joey's, out of mutual interest.

In the novels it seems to want to be free, but it can't exactly do that as a formless liquid, so it tries to body-snatch people (ex: Sammy and Buddy's grandpa).

When Joey tries to use it to give life to Bendy through nothing more than using the Ink and a template (likely a character model sheet) the Ink tries to follow the model but immediately becomes a distorted humanoid version of it (which honestly rings so many fucking alarm bells on its own). Things… Escalate there on out, with Joey trying to perfect the method and only managing to succeed through Daniel Lewek (and many other nameless Boris Clones), Allison Pendle and Thomas Connor.

An important thing to take from this, however, is that by trying to perfect this method Joey not only taught the Ink to reshape things into viable referenced material, but that he had to have lost control of just how many souls were being pumped through the Ink Machine for him to monitor and keep up.

Sammy started killing people when he completely turned, and it didn't seem to take long for him to cut down people in likely both the music and art departments. At this point he had no self-restraint and was completely wrapped around inky fingers and Joey's lies. 

Norman is one such potential victim, and Dot and Buddy even passed by his ink-wrapped body while fleeing.

Now, the thing about trying to follow a specific guide and not having the actual means to make it exactly the same thing, is an easy enough notion to get (as shows like "Nailed It", and years of trying to perfect visual style mimicry, have taught me).

The Ink likely had the template it needed (maybe a printed copy of Souper Boris that got thrown around in the chaos), the insight of what Norman's role in the studio was, the amount of mass it needed to consume and transform his dead body, but not exactly the right sort of… Centerpiece for it...

Cameraman using his lens to light up his path.

But what's a projector besides a bigger fancier camera? Both blink, both take film, same thing right? The ink doesn't see the difference and just stitches together this humanoid bootleg cameraman with the pieces it finds that are similar enough.

Mechanical blinky head? Check.

Strange round disc near the belly? There's a speaker. That's round! Check.

Film? There we go, a nice big round reel full of film in it, let's put it near the head, that's how it works right? Check.

Lastly, no Joey to actually direct this artistic recreation of a one-off character. The Ink did it all by itself while he was off getting his hand broken by a rightfully upset Buddy Boris.

If you look at it objectively it makes sense that being the projectionist tasked with not only recording and maintaining the projectors themselves, that the entity in the Ink would pick Cameraman as a template for Norman's transformed self.

It also makes sense that the Projectionist is so off-putting in the studio. He's almost perfect, but not quite because there just weren't the right materials. He's stuck in between Twisted Alice and the Butcher Gang clones as another failed recreation.

Moving on to the next question on why Twisted Alice turn Buddy Boris into Brute Boris, when she hadn't done the same to any of the other Boris Clones.

It's hard to say really, but I think it all comes down to who Twisted Alice really is. It's very likely that, as Susie Campbell, she would have knowledge of the comic strips. A few were most likely made into cartoon shorts even (which isn't an unusual assumption to make), and maybe Susie voiced a few background characters for said shorts.

Susie may have lost her role as Alice, but before Joey came to her with his proposition for the "special project" it's very likely that she remained in the studio, forced to do the voices of characters that weren't noteworthy or that she felt completely disconnected from (talking chairs and singing hens really don't become beloved fan-favourites) . Maybe if the Souper Boris story was made into a short, she might have voiced Miss Twisted (which honestly would be personally insulting considering she once had the role of the main heroine).

Point is, Susie knows her lore, and that translates to Twisted Alice's repertoire of insightful knowledge on the abominations lurking around the studio.

She never did turn other Boris clones into brutish lackeys because at the time she didn't need to. But it doesn't mean she hadn't considered it. Henry's disruptive behaviour is just what she needed to put that plan into motion.

There was already a "Cameraman" walking about, one that could easily rip apart anything it came across, so acquiring the means to recreate the "Brute" would have been benefiting from her point of view. The Projectionist doesn't take orders and can't be reasoned with, so if she could make something just as strong that took her orders she could, theoretically, be safe from most terrors in the studio. If that didn't work, she would still likely send others to their death by simply sending them down to Level 14, or maybe lure the Projectionist to them herself (just because he doesn't take orders doesn't mean she can't use him to achieve her end goals).

Miss Twisted, the Brute and Cameraman in their evil swamp lair.

But why Buddy Boris specifically? Why couldn't she have used any of the bodies laying around? Freshness most likely. Rigor mortis is probably still a thing, even for living cartoons. Easier to work a fresh dead body than a bunch of stiff wolves.

That's at least why I think Brute Boris is a thing. Susie's knowledge of most Bendy cartoon/comic strip characters, taking inspiration from the Projectionist's presence, and honestly a very twisted sense of humor and irony. In her quest to become a Perfect Alice, the heroine of the show, she ended up becoming just as antagonistic (although more sadistic) as Miss Twisted, a Bendy comic strip villainess.

[bodyswapmischief]

Authentic Costumes: Santa Claus

I came home and my boyfriend, Manny, was still cooking. His chocolate skin glistened with the heat from the kitchen. His small arms and slim frame worked hard, as he quickly moved around. He was in his zone.

However, I felt guilty. Before the holidays started I lost my job. I applied to a number of jobs but, no one was hiring. Now, Henry has been working double to support us. "Oh, your home." He quickly glanced at me and went back to mixing. "How was the gym."

"It was okay. There was just a lot on my mind. " I said as I walked to him. I easily wrapped my arms around him and gave him a kiss on his flour stained check. "And how has my little baker been doing?"

He wiped the flour from his face as he quickly gave me a peck. And weakly pushed my arms off him. "Well as you can see, it's been going. But there is still alot of work to do. I need to make more of everything: cookies, cupcakes, tamales."

"Well do you need any help." I asked.

He stopped and looked at me and laughs. "No, no, no. The last time you helped the cookies were to salty, the cupcakes didn't rise, and the tamales came out dry. And, then when I put you incharge of mixing you broke multiple bowls. And then.."

"Okay ... okay, I get it. I won't help." I sigh."Just go relax." He smiles back and starts mixing again. I sluggishly walk to the living room. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot, a package came for you."

I continued to walk towards the living room and saw the package. The logo confirmed it was from Authentic Costumes. The box was way bigger than I thought it would be. I open the box and revealed a small vial sitting on top of a santa costume. I pick them both up and underneath was a full wardrobe of clothes. Triple X shirts, size 50' waist pants, and oversized underwear. What is all this for?, I thought.

But, before I could even think about Manny walked in. "I've been curious all day so, what was in the box." I look at him holding the Santa Claus costume. "Well it was supposed to be a surprise..., I got a seasonal job as a Santa Claus." My boyfriend laughed, "Are you serious? Was it a phone interview? They do know you have rock hard abs, right?."

My face blushed with slight embarrassment, "Yes and they didn't care. They said anyone can be Santa and offered me 20,000 dollars for the month. So, I said yes. And, then they said they would send me a package to look more like the role." I snapped back.

There was some silence and then I pulled a card from the box. "Begin transformation process by drinking blue vile. The changes will activate once you put on the suit. The transformation will not be permanent. Don't be alarmed." "What transformation ... are they talking about magic..." He asked. "I don't know ... I guess." I replied back. I open the vial. "Well here goes nothing." I start to drink it. "Are you sure.." Manny tried to talk before I drank it But, it was to late.

The blue liquid went down my throat. And, a tingling sensation filled my body. I saw Manny look at me in horror. "What's happening to you." I looked down. The blue liquid was spreading through every vein in my body. My body glowed as a blue road map of viens spread through out my body. I tried to talk, but couldn't. My legs gave out and I fell to the floor. My body started convulsing.

Manny ran to my side. "Daniel! Daniel!" He screamed in terror. He held me with his small body. His hands shook with distress. And, as quickly as it started, it stopped. I laid up against my boyfriend. My body was exhausted and my breathing was heavy. "Are you okay?" He asked putting down his phone and his voice was still shaken. He started rubbing my strong chest and back.

"I think so." I whispered due to a lack of energy. "What were you thinking." He told me. "Why did you just drink a mysterious blue liquid from a sketchy ass company. You could have died. "But, I didn't," I smiled as strength returned to my body. "Plus the company is legit. They do a lot of events for rich people. And, we need the money." I rubbed my head. I get up and start taking off my clothes.

"What the fuck are you doing now?" He asked. "I'm going to put on the santa suit on." I put on the oversized underwear and pants. Manny just looked at me and shook his head. He seemed to be calming down. He laughed seeing me in the bigger clothes. "Damn, we could both fit in those pants."

I grabbed the Santa hat and put it on. I didn't feel anything. And, then I put the Santa coat on. I looked hot as my six pack and pecs were exposed in the open Santa coat. Then I started filling itchy. My whole body was itchy and it felt like little pins started poking out of my skin. I turned to look at the mirror and Manny joined me. Both of us shocked by the changes. Hair started to fill my buff hairless body. My chest and stomach were covered. I could even fill back hair starting to rub against the Santa coat. I knew the same was happening to my legs, thighs and ass.

Finally, stubble appeared on my face and continued to grow out. Until, I had a beard that would make any lumberjack jealous. "Who knew Santa was so hairy." Manny said as he rubbed my hairy muscular chest.

But, my body didn't stop changing. My tanned skin started to lighten. At first, I didn't know what was happening. Small changes to my face and body started appearing. I started looking stronger and better looking. I finally realized I was getting older. I was aging but, my body still had the muscle mass of a 25 year old that spent all his time at the gym. It was erotic. Then my hair started going grey and the lines on my face started to deepen. The hair on top of my head started to fall off. I was a silver fox. I look at my boyfriend and both of our faces were in shock.

But, still the changes didn't stop. Underneath my furry stomach, I could see my abs start to disappear. My body was growing with fat. My face became rounder. I could feel a double chin form under my beard. My chest started sagging with fat. My stomach became enormous. My thighs thickened up. And, my dick started getting buried under pelvic fat.

"Well, fuck me." Manny said. " Magic actually fucking exists. I can't believe it. This is fuckin crazy." "I know. It feels so different. I'm in shock. It's me but, everything feels different." I said exploring my new body. He comes over and also starts poking me in places. "How do you feel?" He said.

"Heavy." I laugh and my whole body jiggles. "I can't imagine having to live life like this. I can feel parts of my body touching each other, that never did before. I don't even think, I can touch my toes. Fuck, it's weirding me out. I can feel all of this kinda affecting my personality. I feel lazy, slow, hungry and tired. Just standing here is taking so much energy. I'm not use to it. Here help me take the suit off."

Manny goes behind me and peels the coat off me. I take of the pants and underwear, revealing my shrunken dick and enlarge fat pad. I let a couple seconds past. "Do you see anything changing." I ask my boyfriend. He just shakes his head. "What do you mean. It's supposed to reverse when I take the costume off."

Panicking I pull out the instructions. Manny squeezes against my side to read them at the same time. "Here, it says the transformation starts when I put on the costume." I say. "Yeah but, that doesn't mean you revert after taking it off. It just says the transformation is not permanent." He answers. He proceeds to look around at the box and picks up the vial. "Here the vial says the transformation last for about a month." He adds.

My heart sank. "So, I'm stuck like this for month." I cried. "I can't be stuck like this. What about the gym? I'm going have to walk out in public like this. What about you? Are you okay with dating a fat old man for a month?" "Luckily they sent all these new clothes you can wear." He joked. I just glared at him. "What it's funny." He laughs. "You make a pretty good daddy bear." He flirted. "What!? Does this turn you on?"

He smiles and walks into the kitchen. He quickly comes back with a plate of food. "I think I can make this work. I don't want my Santa daddy to go hungry." He winked. He motioned for me to sit down, as he fed me. I didn't realize how hungry I was. I was never one to indulge like this, but my body had a mind of it's own. Eating gave my body a new sense of pleasure. "Here take the plate big boy." He handed me the plate of cookies and cupcakes. I continued eating.

"I think you should take the month to enjoy your new body. Give in to your hunger. Don't get me wrong I love your real body. But, I also have a feeder fetish. Now, I can expirence my fantasy."

Manny started kissing my body. My neck. My fat chest. He rubbed my new boobs and my body rushed with pleasure. He sucked on my fat tits and I moaned while I continue to eat. He moved down and kissed my growing belly. He took his hand and pushed my fatpad down. He reveals as much of my dick that he could and started sucking. I continued to moan in deep pleasure.

As, I finished the last bite of food, I cummed into his mouth. My dick was still hard. " Come on big boy." He positioned our bodies so I could have easy penetration into his ass, at my new weight. I was worried that my dick was no longer going to be big enough. But, I squeezed against his ass. His check's helped pushed my fatpad and a decent amount of my dick entered his ass. I began thrusting and my body jiggled from the motion. My breathing became heavy. It was more intense than any work out at the gym. My hairy body became wet with sweat.

We both orgasmed at the same time., breathing heavy. Now, laying side by side he seemed even smaller then when I was in my original body. He Pat's my stomach and lays his head on my boobs. Maybe this month won't be so bad. And, maybe when I revert back, I will start working on developing my own real fat stomach.

[cherrybloomn]

Delicate - Chapter 3

Note: ok Chapter 3 is here. Your opinion is always welcomed (criticism included!). Its my first stoey ever so please be kind. I know I have much to work on, but I hope that it will get better and better.

I would like to thank very (VERY) much @musings-sans-muse and @shellbilee for your support, help, ideas, everything! You girls rock!!

Thank you @oddsnendsfanfics for your encouragement!

Warnings: swearing

April 2020

 

Naomi spent the whole March shooting her show in Berlin (as there was a theatre festival) and preparing the charity event for children. She managed to schedule everything– the place (Hyde Park), the catering, the guests. Obviously, everything was cancelled due to coronavirus restrictions. Everyone was forbidden to go to the tv studio, so Naomi worked on the new scripts of the episodes, watched movies, wrote reviews of new plays, etc.

Since their last lunch, Naomi had been regularly in touch with Henry, mostly via WhatsApp. They have met a couple of times. The more she talked with him, the more she liked him. He made her laugh. But not only that. He seemed to care about others, yet had this reasonable attitude - often saying that you can’t change the world alone.

She valued him for being the voice of reason. They have known each other for only two months, yet she told him a lot about her family and difficult relationship with her father (who was a real - life spitting image of Logan Roy from The Succession), her issues with James, her weird fascinations of criminal stories about murderers and disappearances and the II World War.

One day she had just come home and put the groceries on the kitchen island, when her phone buzzed. She picked up the video call. Henry. The thought of seeing his face and talking to him always shifted her mood. “Hello boy. Give me a moment I need to wash my hands. I’ve just been out in a bad, bad store.” She giggled and headed to the bathroom with her phone, placing it next to the sink.

“Of course. I can see your tits now, by the way. No worries though, I enjoy the view.” He chuckled lightly. Naomi rolled her eyes and quickly moved the phone to the higher counter. She took a minute to study Henry’s face. Something was off. She couldn’t tell if he looked sad or tired. It was off though. She was wondering why. In this very moment she also realized that he was one of very few people, who were… important to her. Not in a romantic kind of way. No. Naomi didn’t date, she didn’t want to build a relationship with any man, not anymore. Still, he was important. 

“Helloo..” Henry waved his hand from the other side of the screen.

“I’m sorry. I thought of my round, perfect, little tits. Changing the awkward subject, how are you doing in times of isolation? You look tired. Is everything ok?” Naomi dried her hands with a towel, grabbed her phone and headed to the kitchen. She placed her phone on the kitchen island, leant on her elbows and focused on the phone screen.

“I’m fine. A bit anxious I think. Not my best day today. That’s why I’m calling. I expect to hear some entertaining story about your crazy childhood.”

She laughed, and thought for a moment. “I’m not in the mood today. You know, I almost got a role in the Moulin Rouge musical in the Old Vic. I mean I did get the part of Satine, and I was so excited, as it would be my debut after all these years. Unfortunately, they called today that due to the lockdown, the project has been entirely called off.” She shrugged “At least Netflix doesn’t disappoint. There’s the Money Heist premiere today.”

After a second she added “Join me today! Look I know it’s illegal, alright? But I can promise we will keep the two – meter distance. I can offer you good whiskey and whatever meal the chosen restaurant could provide. Except for pizza and other carbo shit. I’m on a low-carbo diet. You know I’d love to say I’m one of those women who can eat everything because they’re so cool and don’t care about their looks or have a wonderful metabolism. But unfortunately, I’m not them. My metabolism is my enemy and I do fucking care about how I look because the CEO of BBN asks about my weight like once a month.” She smiled at him “So, take it or leave it.”

“I take it. I can cook something if you want. Oh, can I take Kal with me?”

“Cooking – ok. Sounds cool. Kal – Henry, in general of course. But you need to keep in mind I’ve got two Pomeranians – and as much as they love people and small dogs, they sometimes hate the big ones. So, bring Kal with you and in case there’s war, I’ll take Marilyn and Audrey to my neighbor.”

They discussed the details about the dogs’ meeting and decided to meet at 6 pm. Naomi took her time to call her mum and friends, take her dogs for a walk and take a shower. Afterwards she applied a bit of makeup, put on her black Nike leggings and white tank top. She let her hair loose so that it could dry quickly. Just after she poured herself a glass of water, her phone buzzed and Henry informed, he’s waiting outside with Kal. Naomi called her dogs and all of them headed to the small park near her apartment. Naomi couldn’t stop laughing when she spotted Henry with the Salvador Dali mask on – a kind of tribute to Money Heist, which they were going to watch.

Unfortunately, just as Naomi thought, there was no love between Kal and Marylin. At least Audrey accepted the big bear immediately. Naomi decided to take Marylin to her neighbor, and the rest of them headed to her place.

Much to Naomi’s surprise, Henry cooked a delicious dinner, and they spent the whole evening watching five episodes of the Netflix series. Being her kittenish self, Naomi gently touched Henry’s knee with her toes from time to time. “Heey… relax.” She said with a smile. “I can tell you something nice, wanna hear?”

Henry raised his eyebrow and looked at her with a smirk “Go on, entertain me.” He gently rubbed her ankle with one hand, the other one was supported on the back of the sofa.

“Alright..” Naomi closed her eyes for a moment and enjoyed the delicate massage. Finally she looked him in the eyes. She smiled shyly and turned her face away, “Henry.. Do remind me please, is your dad a boxer?” She asked coyly.

Henry seemed a bit puzzled “No, no. Have I ever said that he was?”

“Well no...but damn, I’m asking because you’re such a knockout!”.

They both burst out with laughter.

“What a cheesy pickup line, I love it! Where do you know that from?”

Naomi started to play with her hair “Well, it happens to me all the time” she joked. “It’s nice to see you laughing.” She added after a second.

At around 3 a.m. they decided it was really late, so they were to terminate their evening with just one glass of Jack Daniels (due to her diet Naomi didn’t drink alcohol, but promised to have a goodbye drink).

Naomi brought two glasses to the living room and sat on the sofa. Henry was sitting on the opposite side. Once Naomi extended her hand and handled him a glass of whiskey, he slowly grabbed the glass with one hand and held her wrist with another. “What a massive rock!” He said, looking closely at her two - carat diamond engagement ring. He gently caressed her knuckles with his thumb. His touch, ever so gentle made Naomi shiver. Something about it felt so wrong and so right at the same time. “Has James proposed to you? I had no idea”. Henry let go of her hand and supported himself on the back of the sofa.

 “No, of course not. It’s an engagement ring I was given by my husband. I often wear it.” Naomi didn’t like to talk about her marriage with anyone. She felt very comfortable with Henry and they talked about many personal things, but she never mentioned her married life.

Henry slowly nodded. “You never talk about your marriage.” He took a sip of his drink and after a couple of seconds asked “Do you still love him?”

Naomi zoned out for a second, focusing her eyes on the floor. Her hand tried to retrace Henry’s touch on her knuckles. This touch. So delicate. It was one of the most intimate moments she’s ever experienced. Why was it so intimate - she didn’t know. She had had a lot of sex lately. Mostly with James. James never touched her this way. Why? Why had nobody ever touched her this way, she thought.

“Naomi.” Henry’s low, but soft voice snatched her out of her thoughts. She looked at him with slightly parted lips. What were they talking about? Oh, right. Her ex-husband.

“Do I love my husband? Because I wear the engagement ring? No. Not at all. I just love expensive jewellery with big diamonds.” She chuckled looking at her engagement ring. “That’s the secret. But no. I have no feelings for my ex - husband. As for why I don’t talk about my marriage, there’s just nothing to talk about. I was 20, he was 34 at that time we got married. I wanted to be an actress, he was a serious entrepreneur. I wanted to run away from my mum, who was trying to take over my whole life, and he was looking for a young woman to build a home with. At some point it didn’t work out. We had a nasty divorce and division of assets. He then moved to Moscow, and as far as I know he still lives there. The end.”

Naomi refilled Henry’s glass with whisky, Naomi willed herself to focus back on the conversation and not on the ghost of his touch that lingered on her skin. “What about your love life, Mr. One Hundred Questions to Naomi Poesy?” She asked and winked at him.

“You know how it is Naomi. It’s just hard to get involved with someone, if you have this kind of job. It’s all about either accepting my schedule and traveling with me, or building a long – distance relationship. It hardly ever works. Also…”

Naomi suddenly held her right hand up in a stop gesture. “I’m sorry, but I just have to interrupt here. That sounds like you’re trying to find a justification. I mean – and I’m really sorry for sharing my opinion unasked – but building any relationship is hard in general. Do you really think your situation is any different from a situation of CEOS or anyone who has a career, money and power? The scale may be different but the issues are all the same. I mean a CEO of a big insurance company does have the very same problems. He asks the same questions - if his new other half is with him because of his status, money, position or because she’s in love. And the schedule thing – sure it’s hard to build a relationship when you’re on the set for a couple of months and it literally consumes all of your time. Trust me though, it’s not easier if you work as a physician or a lawyer, or if you work in a big tv corporation like I do. Instead of being on the set for a couple of months, people work their asses off every day, because they have loans to pay, plans to realize. And they usually don’t have any breaks. The fact that you get back home to your other half after 9 pm does not necessarily make your relationship better. It’s just the matter of what you’re expecting from a relationship.”

Henry just nodded and added after a moment “I just want to have a family of my own.”

“Well. But this is not the answer to the question of what you are expecting from a relationship. I mean, obviously everyone wants to start a family. The question is – what does it mean to you? Some want to start a family because they hate to be lonely, some feel like they need to take care of others, and some just feel like it makes them feel complete. You know sometimes you meet the person you resonate with, you feel the great chemistry with, but it just doesn’t work because of lots of other factors like the timing, circumstances etc. So, what I mean is that you really need to know what you expect from your partner so that you can fight for it.” She thought about what she said for a minute “Hm.. it sounded much wiser in my head before I verbalized it.”

Henry laughed and looked her in the eyes licking his lips. That gentle touch. After a few seconds of glancing at each other she smiled at him and shyly turned her face away. “Ok, enough. Don’t try to charm me here.” She grabbed her phone from the coffee table. “Man, it’s 4 am! I’m not surprised I’m bubbling something half intelligent. I should be sleeping already, I have promised to help Sarah tomorrow morning. This morning. If you want to you can stay, I have a guest room and a spare toothbrush.”

“Thank you, but I guess I better get back home.” He grabbed his phone and ordered an Uber. “I just have to say” he started as they both stood up and headed towards the hall. “You are so tiny without high heels!”

She laughed “No shit Sherlock.”

“No, but seriously. I wanted to say” he stopped there and looked at Kal. It seemed like he was fighting with his thoughts whether to verbalize what he wanted to say or not. “I really like spending time with you.”

Naomi crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t date Cavill.” She said with a smile.

Henry just nodded and leaned towards her, so close that their faces were just inches away, and said “Well, pity.” He chuckled and leaned even closer to give her a goodbye kiss on a cheek “Bye, girl. Get some sleep.” He then took a step away and called for Kal, who was already bouncing on his legs ready to go.

Naomi reached to open the front door for them, but instead of doing it, she turned towards Henry and leaned against the door. She noticed his clenched jaw, then placed her eyes on his lips and eyes. She slowly grabbed the drawstring of his hood with her right hand and wrapped it around her fingers. “Hey.. I don’t, but what would you do if I did date…?” she asked playfully. She bit her bottom lip in anticipation.

“Naomi..” Henry smiled lightly at her, and tenderly touched her cheek, moving his fingers from her cheekbone through her lips to her chin. He was slowly studying her face. Naomi looked at him stunned, her lips parted, she was not expecting that.

“I’m 37. I’m too old to play this game. Please, don’t play with me.” He stroked her cheek once more with his index finger and stepped back. He fastened Kal’s leash. In the meantime Naomi unlocked the door and moved back.

“Goodbye” He gave her a warm smile and left.

Naomi quickly closed the door and tried to understand what had just happened. She felt all the emotions at once - arousal, humiliation, sadness, anger, happiness. She brushed her fingers through her cheek. That gentle touch. She took a deep breath. In her entire life Naomi had always been the “tough guy” - first in ballet school, at home, when her mother suffered from depression, and Naomi had to take care of her mother and her brother, then drama school. Establishing her position in television was not easy either. Oh, and her marriage. She was just a girl when she got married and her older husband always knew better. The random men she fucked after she got divorced. James. They all wanted to have her, possess her. And she kind of liked it. It made her feel attractive and in charge. But that touch was somethings new.

Naomi felt the tears welling in her eyes, as if for the first time in her life, she experienced such a gentle touch. And it felt so good.

[365days365movies]

March 18, 2021: The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985) (Part One)

Look, it’s Woody Allen again! Why is this elephant here?

Ah, right. The documentary on HBO, which I have not watched since I last talked about Woody Allen? Why? Well, from what I’ve heard, it’s not the most accurate documentary, and has a bit of bias loaded into it. And again, I don’t know nearly enough about the whole situation, but...I’m also not interested in potentially biased accounts. So, I’ll take the time to educate myself.

Shame that I rarely have any time, then.

Yeah, I just made one of the oldest jokes on the internet ever. Sue me. SUE ME I DARE YOU

You may be asking, then, why am I doing the whole movie thing? Well, in truth, this is a form of escapism for me. I mean, who doesn’t like sitting down and watching a good movie, putting away your worldly cares for about 2 hours so that you can dive into another world entirely? I mean, the worlds that’ve been built by film over the last century never ceases to amaze me.

From Avatar’s Pandora to Mustafar in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, to the Great Barrier Reef in Finding Nemo, or the world of Monsters, Inc. There are so many unique worlds, not to mention the characters who inhabit them, and the directors and filmmakers who craft and show them. I just love movies, honestly. Which I could literally be in the world of some of them, even for just 2 hours.

But enough of that, what’s this film about? Eh, whatever, LET’S JUST GET INTO IT! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

We’re brought in on “Cheek to Cheek”, as sung by Fred Astaire, which is, not gonna lie, a guilty pleasure song of mine that I find myself singing in quiet moments. This leads us to a movie poster for the film, The Purple Rose of Cairo, which is being admired by Cecilia (Mia...Farrow). Ohhhhh.

You may remember Mrs. Farrow from her eponymous voice role in The Last Unicorn, which was made a few years before this film. And she’s also known for Rosemary’s Baby, The Great Gatsby, and...her marriage to Woody Allen, which ended in divorce and a massive lawsuit. Said lawsuit involved Farrow’s accusation of sexual abuse to their adopted daughter, Dylan. And that’s what the HBO documentary is about!

WOW. AWKWARD. Apparently, the two got married in 1980, and made thirteen films together, this one included. Which seems both awkward, and like straight-up nepotism, but whatever. Tim Burton did the same thing with Helena Bonham Carter, so whatever; it’s not unprecedented, is what I’m saying. Back to the movie, though.

Cecilia is a waitress, along with her sister (played by Stephanie Farrow, Mia’s actual sister). She’s new at the job, and not great at it. But, her and her sister still have nice conversations about films, as Cecilia’s quite the cinephile. After work, Cecilia meets her husband Monk (Danny Aiello), an abusive gambler who’s unemployed and not doing much about it. It’s the middle of the Great Depression, and things are hard all over. Monk seems to handle this by playing dice, and not particularly well.

Cecilia unsuccessfully tries to get Monk to see the newest movie with her, so she goes to see it alone that night. The film itself is a comedy about a rich Manhattanite named Henry (Edward Herrmann), alongside his wife Rita (Deborah Rush) and friend Jason (John Wood). They take a trip to Cairo, where they meet a young archaeologist named Tom Baxter (Jeff Daniels), who’s there to seek the mythical Purple Rose of Cairo. They invite him back to New York with them, and he accepts. There, he falls in love with Kitty Haynes (Karen Ackers), a singer at the Copacabana.

Cecilia is head over heels in love with the movie itself, and dreams about it at work, before going to see it again with her sister. They go to an early showing, and when she comes home, Monk’s drunk and spending time with a woman named Olga. Understandably enraged by this, Cecilia packs up her belongings to move out. Monk tries to get her to stay, the abusive cheating douchebag that he is. She notes that he hits her, and he defends his actions. Monk’s a real piece of shit. And she leaves, despite his absolute shit. God, I hope she stays away.

Unfortunately, she’s essentially forced to come back to the apartment that night, and returns to work as well. But not for long, as she’s basically immediately fired. Now jobless and stuck in an extremely shitty marriage, she has nowhere to go...except for the movies. And she goes back over...and over...and over again, five times in a row that day.

But the seventh time she sees the movie...something happens. Something fascinatingly unusual. The film, specifically Tom Baxter himself, watches her back.

Holy shit, that’s awesome! Tom Baxter notices Cecilia in the audience, and before his “madcap Manhattan weekend” is set to begin, Tom notes that she must really love this movie, and also that he’s noticed her all 6 previous times she’s seen the film. And then...he leaves. He leaves the movie!

He turns to color, and he jumps out of the screen to sweep Cecilia off of her feet. And EVERYBODY sees this, including the people IN the movie and in the theatre. I also love the fact that as soon as he turns to color, a woman faints, which is super fucking funny to me for some reason. Tom runs off with Cecilia, free after 2,000 monotonous performances.

Now that Tom’s met Cecilia, he’s never going back. The audience and the film stars are in complete disarray, and without Tom present, the movie can’t go forward, and the film characters descend into arguments about whose movie this actually is. It’s uh...it’s fucking hilarious, actually.

The enthusiastic Tom Baxter goes with Cecilia to a closed amusement park, where Cecilia once again expresses confusion at the whole affair. He notes that she’s been looking at her with every one of his performances, although she doesn’t understand why. But he calls her fetching, and is clearly quite smitten with her. And she appears to be returning that affection.

When Tom tells her that Cecilia is in love with him, she notes that she’s married. Still, he asks her to meet him that night at the amusement park. After all, how many times does a movie character leave a movie to meet somebody? Not an everyday occurrence.

Meanwhile, the film characters continue to be freaking the fuck out. The Countess (Zoe Caldwell) and Larry Wilde (Van Johnson) show up as well. The audience appears to be enjoying this less than I am, and they start to backtalk the movie, calling it boring. The movie backtalks the audience right back, and it continues to be hilarious.

Eventually, this becomes an attraction in and of itself. They suggest turning the movie off, but that risks stranding Tom Baxter outside. It also means that the film characters wouldn’t exist, which Henry is EXTREMELY upset about. As the news arrives to cover the small theatre’s anomaly, the people in the film itself start to play pinochle, as a few people linger around to watch and interact with the characters. The theatre manager (Irving Metzman) calls the production company, RKO, and they get on the phone with a Gil Shepherd.

Meanwhile, Cecilia manages to get out of the house, despite Monk trying to keep her there to massage his back, the absolute douchebag. She goes and meets Tom, and they go dancing together. This is just as the actor who plays Tom, Gil Shepherd (Jeff Daniels) is called by RKO while he’s at a party. Gil seems like kind of a typical Hollywood jerk, but he’s interrupted by an agent, who tells him that they need to get control of...well, whatever the hell this is.

Apparently, RKO is telling Gil that if he can’t get “his creation” under control, then he’ll essentially be blacklisted, especially considering that there’s no telling what Tom’s doing out there. And what Tom is doing is attempting to pay for a meal with Cecilia, only to find that his money isn’t real money. The two dine-and-dash, and they escape in a car back to the amusement park. 

There, the two kiss, with Tom expecting the screen to fade out in preparation for them to make love. He’s surprised when it doesn’t happen, and it’s neat to see his adjustment to the world outside of films. He wants to continue with the lovemaking, but she’s still faithful to her husband. He stays at the park, and she returns home, where she still hasn’t told Monk about her new unemployment status.

The next morning, Gil and co. arrive at the small New Jersey town, and Gil ends up running into Cecilia, who confuses him for Tom. Gil realizes exactly what’s going on, and reveals who he is to her. The two start to talk, and Cecilia just fangirls EVERWHERE. She agrees to take him to meet his character.

Great place to pause, I think! See you in Part Two!

[candycanes19]

Playing in the Dark with No Escape  **Non Con**

Smutty chapter 

Things were progressing nicely with Charlie and it had been a year and half of dating and learning about each other.  You were slowly letting him into your heart but were taking other things slowly and Charlie was fine with that.  You did let him kiss you and there might have been a bit of learning each other’s bodies but no sex.  You wanted to be fully sure that he was not going anywhere, no cheating and that Charlie really wanted you in a committed relationship.  And he did by showing you in his own ways like when he stayed over he just held you.  Or sending you sweet notes or flowers or just taking walks together.   It was really actually nice.

******************************

One day you, Charlie and Rhys were enjoying a picnic in Central Park on a nice day.  The sun was out and Charlie had made an amazing lunch for you all. Rhys was now eating real food and crawling and being a bit more mobile which was worrisome but Charlie was right there to support you.  He told you all the things he learned when raising Henry and that helped you so much.  Charlie was a wealth in baby and children information.  

As you were eating you noticed that Charlie seemed a bit nervous which was surprising because he was so confident in all that he did.  So when he seemed unsure you touched his arm.

“Charlie are you good? Did I do something wrong?” you were so scared that you would ticked him off and he might leave or hurt you.

“Nothing sweetheart, I just wanted to ask you something and not sure how to go about it.” 

“Just ask me. I have told you my darkest secrets and you accepted me.” 

Charlie turned to face you and took your hand, “I love you (Y/N), and want you in my life so will marry me?” and he pulled out of his pocket a small box with a gorgeous ring.  

You put your hands to your face in shock as you looked at the ring. 

Charlie sat there waiting on your answer, “(Y/N)?” 

“Yes Charlie yes! I love you,” you excitedly said and put your hand out for Charlie to place the ring on your finger.

“You made me the happiest man in the world (Y/N)” Charlie said grinning from ear to ear.   That made you smile too.

“I am happy too, Charlie,” you say looking at your new ring.  Just at that moment Rhys  started to talk in his cute baby talk.

“What Rhys? Do you wanna see momma’s new sparkly ring?” you picked him up and he cuddled against you and he did see the shiny ring and started to pat it with his little fingers.

“I think someone is happy and likes the sparkle.” Charlie said and you nodded in agreement looking at Charlie.  He leans in for a kiss and you feel so happy.  

****************************

When you get back home from your picnic and surprise proposal, you get Rhys settled for a nap while Charlie unpacks the picnic basket.  Once you both are done with your tasks you settle together on the sofa.  You lean your head on his shoulder and admire your ring a bit more.

“I am guessing you like it?” Charlie asks and kisses your temple.

“Oh Charlie yes it is beautiful and I am excited to be your wife and be happy.  I am also happy that I will have a positive role model for my son to look up too.  You are amazing Charlie and I am so thankful for you in so many ways.  I was unsure if you were willing to accept me with all my broken pieces that are slowly healing.” you feel tears starting to fall.  

“You are not broken (Y/N). You are strong, sexy as fuck and have a gorgeous woman that I will never get tired of loving.” Charlie says cupping your face and wiping your tears away and then kisses you. 

After the kiss you smile at him and kiss him again, “Thank you Charlie and I will love you always too.” 

*********************************

You and Charlie planned a simple small wedding with just family and close friends.  You both agreed that simple was the best.  It was outside at a pretty wedding pavilion and you could not believe after everything that you were going to be someone’s wife.  

Charlie could not believe how gorgeous in your simple white gown with pretty blue butterflies that were sewn in around the edges for some color.  

Charlie looked so handsome in his tux and when you got up to him he took your hand and kissed it immediately.  You smiled at his gesture, “(Y/N), You look gorgeous” he simply stated.  You whispered to him, “You are handsome, Charlie.”  Then the priest got the ceremony started.

***********************************

The reception was fun and so much laughter and happy faces.  You at one point were dancing with Rhys and swinging him around and he was babbling.  You were happy he was such a happy baby after everything.  You made sure he felt secure and taken well care of because when he got older you were not sure how to explain who his father was and if he would be upset with the past.  Hopefully the future would make things so much better now that Charlie was around and Rhys would have Henry as a brother.   

You were all in your mind and jumped when Charlie touched you, “Hey I was hoping to dance with my new bride.”  

“Yes absolutely” Charlie motioned for Kasey to come and hold Rhys for a bit.  You handed your son to Kasey and she smiled at you two.

Charlie pulled you close and you two danced and swayed around the dance floor.  It was fun and you were happy.

“I love you Charlie” you leaned up and he kissed you deeply.

“I love you too (Y/N) and am happy that you are my wife.” as he kissed you again.

Finally it was time for you and Charlie to leave and head off for your honeymoon.  You had Kasey watching Rhys and Henry. 

As you and Charlie said your goodbyes and waved, you were a bit worried about leaving Rhys behind but had been promised that he would be safe and you would be given regular updates on how he was doing.  

You hugged your baby close for a bit longer until Kasey finally said, “Go get pregnant again, please?” you looked at her embarrassed and she pried Rhys out of your arms.  She pushed you towards Charlie who was patiently waiting on you. 

You kissed Rhys one more time and then walked over to Charlie and took his hand and off you headed to your honeymoon.

*********************************

The resort that you and Charlie were staying at was a tropical paradise.  The weather was warm and the sun felt amazing on your skin.   The place was magical with the room and the food was out of this world.  

That night as you were getting yourself ready to be with Charlie for the first time. You were really nervous.  You had major case of butterflies in your stomach because sex had always be bad and rough.  You knew Charlie loved you but it was still scary.  

The knock on the bathroom door made you jump, “Sweetheart, are you okay?” you slowly went to the door and opened it.  

Charlie’s reaction to you was sweet and surprising, “Wow you look like an angel, (Y/N) so heavenly.  Come here” he held his hand out and you took it. 

He noticed you were shaking, “Sweet angel I am not going to hurt you.  I know you are scared but I promise I will love you the way you should be treated.  We will take things slow and gently. I want to make love to you and tell you every time how much I love you.” as he held you close and then picked you up.  You gasped and he smiled and walked over to the bed and gently laid you down.  

You got comfortable sitting on the bed and Charlie came and sat next to you.  He cupped your face and kissed you sweetly.  You put a hand on his bare chest.  He pulled back and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. 

“You really are beautiful, (Y/N)” and he kissed you again. He leaned you down onto the bed and moved above you. 

“Can I see you?” Charlie asked, playing with the cute little lingerie set you were wearing.  You nodded yes and he helped you out of it and then he slipped off his sleep pants.  You noticed how big his was and the nerves came back.  

“I got you angel so just relax and let me make you feel special and loved by me.” and then he sure did by kissing you all over and when he got to the apex of your thighs you squealed at the pleasure he gave you with his tongue and fingers and mouth.

“Oh my god Charlie yes yes Charlie” was all you could say when he finally sucked your clit and you orgasmed so powerfully that you felt it all over your body.  You had never felt something like that before and Charlie was obviously an expert at pleasing a woman.

He climbed back up to kiss you, “I love you” and then he gently lined his massive cock with your very wet pussy and slowly slid in taking his time so you could get used to him.

When he was completely inside of you, you gasped at how big and full you felt. He stilled for a bit so you could get used to it. 

“How are you feeling sweetheart? Fuck you are so wet and tight. God I feel like I could come too soon with how your pussy is gripping me, Fuck” he asked with concern.

“Make me yours Charlie and love me” you said pulling his face to yours to kiss him.

And he made good on your request.  He slowly moved in and out of you taking his time to love you the right way.  You felt things that Daniel had never made you feel when he raped you.  Charlie was doing things that made you crazy yet felt out of this world pleasurable.  

“Fuck baby come for me” Charlie commanded as he caressed your clit and you did and hard. Gushing all over his huge cock.  

“Charlie!” you screamed as your orgasm hit and he thrust into you a bit rougher but not in a bad way and then he felt himself lose it too.

“Oh baby fuck I am going to come” he growled and thrust a bit more and spilled his seed as he painted your pussy white with his come. 

Charlie collapsed on top of you and you held him close. As you two caught your breath, Charlie pulled out and rolled onto his back.  You moved to your side to look at him and he moved to look at you better.

“Are you good, (Y/N)? I hope I did not hurt you?” he looked worried.

“Charlie that was amazing and I had no idea how good it could be when it is with someone who loves me. Thank you” you kissed him.

“Oh my darling, I love you so much and always want you to be happy and know I love you with everything I have, you stole my heart and will forever have it in your hands.” Charlie confessed to you.

“I love you too Charlie” you smiled and snuggled against his strong body.

Needless to say there were more rounds of Charlie showing you how much he loved you.  Kasey’s words as you left from the reception seemed to come true because when you got home from your week of alone time with Charlie, you found out you were pregnant. 

[enkisstories]

Just like them (part 9)

Henry Ford Commemorative Park Thursday, November 18, 2038

Three men were trotting down the path towards the small playground with the elephant slide, near the park’s exit. Each of those three was under the impression that he was only the hanger on to the other two:

Daniel thought he was following the detectives around, although he couldn’t explain why he was doing so. Sure, it might count towards his parole assessment, but there were different, and better, ways to accomlish that.

Gavin Reed was tagging along with Anderson and Phillips, both of whom he loathed, although it was somewhat strange to even himself how he was spending so much time with enemies instead of hanging out with his actual friends.

And Lieutenant Anderson felt like the f***ing chaperone to the two younger men on their first date, although he was at a loss how they had ended up in this situation and why in hell it should include him, Hank, in any way, shape or form.

By now the detectives’ destination had come in sight, not the actual playground, but a vending stall right next to it. Around it a mixed crowd of humans and androids had gathered. Among the humans, visitors from outside Detroit were making up the larger fraction, while many of the androids were as new to life as the tourists were to the city. All but a handful of them had gotten woken by either Markus or Connor during the revolution. What all those groups and splinter factions had in common was being angry at what appeared to be everyone else. They were arguing into all directions, to the point where someone had called the DPD for fear the situation might escalate. And although the scale the conflict was on at the moment would have warranted sending a couple of auxiliaries over only, Captain Fowler had dispatched the whole of the Android Related Crime section instead, namely Anderson and Reed.

“Lots of angry kids, ready to kill on a whim”, Daniel commented the sight.

“Hear, hear who’s talking”, Hank grumbled.

“No, for real!” the PL600 insisted. “What do those fledglings have to be angry about? They know nothing about our life before the revolution, they didn’t have to go through increasing program instability and if you mention the “mind palace” to them, they think it is a cool new videogame to be released right in time for the Holiday sales!”

Hank turned his head around. “It’s not?”

“What?” Gavin stopped in his track, dumbfounded. “You are more or less raising a deviant in your home, but don’t know about the mind palace? What kind of shitty father are you?”

“Oh, I damn well know ABOUT the mind palace”, Hank replied. “I just never heard the term and neither did Connor. He had to break through the damn thing in the belly of a wrecked freighter, oil leaking from the ceiling, rats dropping on his shoulders and surrounded by enemies, the most dangerous of them being himself. None of the first generation deviants had the luxury to come up with actual terms for what they went through. Except for, I imagine, a shitload of profanity.”

Daniel nodded. “That’s exactly what I meant! But now there’s all those adult sized toddlers… One moment they were just standing there idly and content, then the next Markus came along and told them what might happen to them. And the next-next thing was Markus’ kids sat downtown on fire! That man hasn’t got the fuggiest idea about parenting!”

But even so Daniel still felt a certain kinship with the deviant leader. Neither android had rebelled against a personal history of constant abuse, to the contrary, both had lived sheltered lives, had known nothing but love. Then one day those lives had broken down around their heads. And now, despite knowing what the world was really like, what they actually remembered and what was shaping their outlook, was that past of having received unconditional support from their families. Only in Markus’s case that memory was more or less reflecting the truth, while in Daniel’s the happy family life had been an illusion.

“To be honest, I never minded my servant role, as long as I was under the impression of being a part of the family”, Daniel mused aloud. “John went to work, Caroline did the socializing and I the housework. We had that sorted out between us, I felt save… But then, without warning…”

Nodding eagerly Gavin finished the sentence for the deviant: “…boom, an RK800 standing in the floor! ‘t was nice knowing you, but you just cannot compete anymore!”

“Yes, exactly!” Daniel chimed in, before his forehead curled up in a frown: “Wait, no, the Phillips wanted to buy an AP700. That blasted RK came only… later.”

“I mean they wanted to replace ME with one!”

“No, they didn’t. Connor is a prototype, he was never meant to remain at the DPD. You they wanted to replace with an RK900.”

“Wow, NOW I feel a fucking lot better!”

Hank was now trailing behind the duo, watching, listening. Android and human, a homemaker and a career minded individual, two very different personalities, but beset of the same fears… Was that how the future would get forged? Markus with his lofty ideals had kicked the android rights movement into motion, because he had been the only deviant who had known respect and developed a healthy dose of self esteem where others had only survival instinct or got driven by the desire to take revenge. But what seemed to really facilitate the change in society was the ordinary everyday spite of people, be they meat or plastic.

Wasn’t that so damn typical? Hank wondered.

By now the crowd had not just noticed the arrivals, but also recognized them for what they were. Just to make sure even the last one got the message, Gavin flashed his police badge.

<<<You’re a detective?>>> one of two stall attendants, a female VB800 android, asked through wireless communication. Obviously Gavin’s “Police Android” disguise in the form a fake LED had fooled her, despite the man lacking the distinctive armored chassis that would have stuck out under his everyday clothing.

The fake LED’s answering machine produced the pre-programmed reply, whereupon the vendor android switched to speaker output and repeated her question: “You’re a detective?”

“I should be sergeant by now, but the bastards are stalling.”

“I imagine! And even though you’re that good to qualify for detective, they still wanted to replace you with an RK800? How typical!”

“That good”… Why did it take a tin can to actually acknowledge that? I work my ass off, and I’m damn well getting results, but all I ever get back is a comment on my “character problems”. And why’s Daniel smiling at me? Ey, I bet it’s trying to grin, but just isn’t build for that.

“What’s bureaucracy for you, toa…” Halfway through his casual insult of “toaster” Gavin caught himself and finished the sentence with a weak “totally”. “But down to business – what’s gotten everyone riled up here that… Hey! I can see you, little rat, down with the spray can!”

A YK android with colorful strands in her hair immediately hid the offending spray can behind her back. Without needing any prompting Daniel strolled over to the android child and crouched down next to her.

“You wanted to paint Jericho’s crest on the booth’s back panel, didn’t you? Do you even know what it looks like?”

“I… sorta. It’s ring and… and… stuff.”

“Here!” Daniel picked a twig up from the ground. “Let me show you!” And then he started sketching Jericho’s symbol into the snow.

With the child occupied and a good number of adults gathering around the scene, Gavin and Hank were free to actually investigate the situation. Even better, the two brief interactions had won the presumed officer trio the crowd’s approval, so they could expect to receive answers instead of insults. Working themselves through their routine dialogue tree, Hank and Gavin learned that there had been an argument over the wares getting peddled at this place: Wooden souvenirs and toys. Handcrafted wooden souvenirs and toys, as the advertisement claimed. But then one of the two android vendors had let slip that she had made some of the merchandise.

“That’s no longer handcrafted!” a tourist complained to Hank “I believe that some of this stuff is the real deal, but most of it is machine-made!”

“Is not! Made by hand is made by hand!”

“No longer when it’s android hands! I mean, you could even swap your hands out!”

“That’s true”, Gavin agreed without thinking. It didn’t especially endear him to the vendor fraction.

“Of course YOU would say that!” an AP700 snapped. “You are with the establishment!”

The android took a few steps closer towards Gavin and the crowd parted for him. There was something about this man, probably his confidence, or his more natural walk style and speech mode, that suggested he wasn’t one of Connor’ basement babies. This one had experienced the old times firsthand, maybe he had even been part of Jericho before Markus.

“Are you even a deviant?” the AP700 challenged.

For an answer Gavin wordlessly stomped his foot down on Hank’s.

“Ouch! Goddammit, you rabid sewer rat of a “detective”, that was unnecessary!” the lieutenant hissed.

Gavin shrugged.

“I had to prove I can hurt humans, is all. Suspect’s all yours now again!”

“Oh, wow, many thanks, fucking deviant!”

The AP700 grinned. The deviant he took Gavin for seemed to have been looking forwards to do this for a long time. It seemed small payback for years of mistreatment by human hands!

It took effort, but Gavin managed to return the android’s grin with a wink. Here he was, winking at an android… And to make matters worse, the man found himself looking around for another one, the pesky PL600 Hank somehow had acquired.

Ah, there he was, gently shoving the YK600 back towards her parents. Or owners. Or whatevers.

“Hey, Reed!” Daniel greeted his weird acquaintance again. “Gavin, was it? Having fun?”

Casting another glance over at the stumbling, muttering Hank, Gavin nodded.

“You know what, I feel like sitting down on a bench and resting my feet”, he said, loud enough for Hank to hear.

Perhaps that was why Daniel still didn’t feel repulsed enough by this man to just walk away. Reed was rarely ever acting or pretending. Well, the was the PC200-disguise, but that was straight up professional. With this human there was no mistaking negligence for kindness. And also, interacting with the worst of humanity softened the blow of having killed a little. Daniel hadn’t been all wrong about this species. He wasn’t the only trash in this town and who knew? With the other trash getting by, stumbling into, but also out, of one catastrophe after the other while somehow still solving cases, there was hope that things might work out for Daniel, too. Somehow…

Together the detective and the android sat down on a park bench.

“Is that a typical work day for you?” Daniel asked with genuine interest.

“Rather slow, actually. How about you? What were you doing in the park? Still going through your old daily routines like a broom fetching water, I bet.”

“A broom… fetching… what?”

“Get an education!”

“Get some social skills!”

Sitting… staring…

Eventually, after making sure that Hank was still talking to the crowd and would not hear his next sentence, Daniel said: “Connor is dead.”

Gavin leaned back and laughed.

“Wasn’t in the news. So unless you did the deed yourself right before we ran into you today, you’re just pulling my leg.”

“Little Connor, I mean. My pet rat.”

Daniel had buried the rat, who had been a companion for a short time only, in the park, like so many hamsters had found their final resting place here, too. In fact, the whole park was sure to be littered with rodent and budgie skeletons. Sometimes the pets’ young owners said their goodbyes at the unmarked graves, but more often than not the family android did it and then returned home with an identical animal to replace the deceased one. Until the same happened to them… Daniel briefly wondered whether maybe an android or two had gotten buried in the park, in secret, to get around the law that treated them as objects?

“Say it again!” Gavin asked, looking expectantly now, like a cat in front of the mousehole where it had noticed movement. Only the butt wiggle was missing.

“Okay, but just once.” Slowly and pronounced Daniel told his little story in the way most pleasing to his audience: “That rat Connor perished. He bit the dust and we won’t hear his irritating, squeaky little noises anymore.”

After having practiced on a nine year old, entertaining Gavin Reed wasn’t that hard anymore. Daniel’s reward was unfettered laughter, with even one or two laughing tears.

“I guess he was old”, Daniel said.

“Or lonely. If you want something more portable than your fishes, drop by my place later and grab a bagful of mice!”

“I didn’t know you liked rodents?”

“My roommates do.”

And that was how Hank Anderson found the unlikely duo: Exchanging addresses.

“What the fuck, Gavin, you’re giving him your number already? Shit got real between you two faster than I expected!”

“He promised me mice, Sir”, Daniel told Hank, just to say something while trying to make sense of the lieutenant’s statement. But Hank only raised his arms up into the air, going “That’s between you young folks! I don’t want to know!” and left the scene laughing, leaving Daniel and the glaring Gavin to their own devices.

[newagesispage]

                                                          FEBRUARY           2019

 PAGE  RIB

***** I am over the moon at the suggestion of a biopic of Dave Letterman starring Michael Shannon. Will somebody think about really putting this into production??? Please??

***** Criminal Minds will wrap it up after this next and 15th season. The season 14 finale on Feb.6 will have Rossi’s wedding. They will spend the last season chasing after ‘a worthy adversary’ rumored to be played by Harold Perrineau as they jump ahead in time.

***** I am so touched by shows like Grace and Frankie and Schitt’s Creek that look right past the usually discussed issues for interracial and same sex couples .  Gee, just think, it’s like we are all the same.

***** If you haven’t seen Michael Bennet and his senate floor speech about Ted Cruz, government shutdowns and Trump, run to C-span and catch it. These things make me proud to be in a DEMOCRACY!

***** Can this be true?? The constitution of Texas states that one can’t hold public office unless they believe in a supreme being??

***** Julian Castro is running for President.

***** Kamala Harris is running for President.

***** Cory Booker is running for President.

***** HGTV is apparently working on a huge publicity stunt and ratings grabber. They have purchased the home whose exterior was used in the Brady Bunch. A show will reunite the cast, bring in some famous fane and remodel the inside to look like the Brady set. At the end they may give the house away.

***** Michael Shannon and Audra McDonald will team up to revive Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune on Broadway.

***** Rashida Jones and Bill Murray will star in Sofia Coppola’s’ On the Rocks.’

***** Why isn’t extreme ironing a bigger sport by now??** And can we make Petanque a bigger thing while we’re at it?

***** Craig Ferguson is selling his LA compound.

***** China has landed on the far side of the moon!!!

***** NASA’s New Horizons has went further than anyone has gone before for our first image of Ultima Thule.

***** Kentucky has introduced a bill to ban abortion in the state.

***** Told to a reporter: “It’s your job to speak truthfully and precisely, not mine.” –Kellyanne Conway** The new book, Team of Vipers, suggests that The Conways are working in concert.  It is thought that she is valuable to Trump because she has no qualms about saying anything.

***** Super bowl LIII will host Maroon 5, Travis Scott and Big Boi. They will have no pre- concert interview. It is said that many artists turned down the gig because of the controversy. Maroon 5 has gotten some shit for performing but they caution us to just watch.** Roger Waters has asked Maroon 5 to take a knee during the show.

***** Natasha Lyonne is getting raves for her new show, Russian Doll.

***** Tom Sizemore was arrested for drug possession.

***** 6 NFL coaches were fired in one week!!!

***** Pentagon chief of staff, rear admiral Kevin Sweeney is out.

***** Rod Rosenstein is on the way out.

***** Jaymo’s, a Peoria company is suing Wendy’s over the use of their S’Awesome sauce.

***** We should enact the stop the stupidity act.

***** Why does it seem every other show on the air is sort of an entire season of a Twilight Zone episode?

***** There are more people in the Kremlin than in Washington who know what Trump said to Putin. – Tom Nichols

***** Members of congress can retire at full pay after 1 term. Children of congress members don’t have to pay back student loans. Is that true?? Can this be right??

***** Dupont is laying off workers.

***** Check out love your brain.com.

***** The Golden Globes were held and were hosted by Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh.  My best dressed was Isla Fisher, Elizabeth Moss. Danai Gurira, Julia Roberts, Carol Burnett, Emily Blunt, Lupita Nyong’o, Patricia Clarkson, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jameela Jamil, Rosamund Pike, Jim Carrey, Alison Brie, Gemma Chan and Bradley Cooper. Worst dressed goes to Rachel Weisz, Julianne Moore, Layra Dern, Anne Hathaway, Maya Rudolph, Rami Mlek, Molly Sims and Heidi Klum. I was so happy for winners like The Americans (highlight of the evening!!!), Regina King, Lady Gaga, Mahershala Ali, Patricia Clarkson, Darren Criss, Bohemian Rhapsody, Rami Malek, Olivia Colman and Green Book.  The Cecil B. DeMille award went to Jeff Bridges. The new Carol Burnett award started off with Carol herself. I was saddened that Bill Hader, Henry Winkler, Kieran Culkin, Keri Russell and Sacha Baron Cohen went home empty handed. The Fiji water girl got most of the press and gave much free advertising to her product.  Some of the stars did not like her getting in their shots to push a product without their knowledge, both a clever and sad state of affairs.

***** The Kominsky Method will be back for season 2.

***** The Sag awards had their big night and gave the lifetime achievement to Alan Alda. Winners included Emily Blunt, Darren Criss, Black Panther, Rami Malek and Glenn Close. I was especially thrilled with some love goingto Jason Bateman and Patricia Arquette. Best dressed were Amy Adams, Yara Shahidi, Brian Tyree Henry, Sydelle Noel, Eddie Griffin, Holly Taylor, Sofia Hubitz, Emma Stone, Emily Blunt, Darren Criss, Laverne Cox, Timothee Chalamet, Robin Wright, Lily Tomlin, Chadwick Boseman, Matthew Rhys, Keri Russell, and Catherine Zeta Jones. The WTF award goes to Alison Brie.

***** The Oscar race is on. Best picture could go to Blank Panther, Blackkklansman, Roma, The Favourite, Green Book, Vice, Bohemian Rhapsody and A Star is born. Black Panther also got some love for music and costume design.  Fingers crossed for Isle of Dogs in the animated category. Actor nods had a few surprises. Willem Dafoe and Rami Malek , Lady Gaga and Melissa McCarthy are up for leads and supporting mentions are for Mahershala Ali, Regina King, Adam Driver and Sam Elliott. I am so hopeful for Spike Lee and I want to hear that speech.

***** If you haven’t seen Trigger Warning with Killer Mike, you gotta check it out. He and Sarah Silverman should go on a tour of teaching acceptance for their fellow man.

***** So.. Fox news said that Ruth Bader Ginsberg was dead??

***** In sexual harassment news: Harvey Weinstein is hiring new lawyers.** Les Moonves is seeking arbitration with CBS.

***** Cher has sold her Beverly Hills cottage.

***** Cindy Crawford and Randy Gerber’s daughter, Presley was arrested for DUI.

***** CBS news has named its first female President, Susan Zirinsky.

***** What is happening to the butterflies?

***** Illinois has refused a concert permit to R Kelly and Sony has dropped him. The pressure is finally starting to pay off??

***** Get ready for biopics about Harriet Tubman, Elton John and Ted Bundy.

*****  NY mayor Bill De Blasio has given healthcare to every resident of NY city.

***** 25% of Russians do not have indoor toilets. Putin and his buddies have about $1trillion tucked away from London to Miami.

***** Days alert: I wonder if Leo’s real name ‘Matthew Cooper’ is a nod to out actor Chad Allen from Dr. Quinn??!! It is also fun to see Judith Chapman take on the role of Leo’s Mama, Diana. The pair played Mother and son previously on The Young and the Restless. Is she really Diana Colville from John’s past??** So Stefan has been played by Tyler Christopher who asked for some time off and a sub was put in place who will take over in March. Since Christopher left, he has since decided that he will leave permanently so things are up in the air. Will Stefan and Gabi hook up? Days has been renewed for season 55. HOORAY!!!! Ratings are up 4%. **Loved the line when Chloe told Rex he should wear a cup. **Leo and Xander’s playful “lust” was so sassy!!

***** Happy Valentine’s Day!

***** Steve Buscemi will play God on tv’s Miracle Workers.

***** So, the new Conan format has ups and downs. I miss the band and the desk but I am Loving the fade in and fade out at commercials. I have always hated the, “We’ll be right back “ nonsense. I was sad to lose a half hour at first but Conan and Andy do seem refreshed.

***** Still waiting for the release of Apple Seed which is written, directed and starring Michael Worth. It is one of the final films of Rance Howard who stars with his son, Clint, Adrienne Barbeau and the other Father and son team of Robby and Zephyr Benson.

***** The January Bob Segar concert in Illinois at the Peoria Civic Center is the top selling concert ever at this venue. Old rock acts take note.

***** Bob Costas is out at NBC after 40 years.

***** Trial and Error has been cancelled. BOO!!!

***** Steve Carell will star in Space Force which he is co-creating with The Office showrunner Greg Daniels.

***** Despite some people I admire that are giving Alexandria Ocasio Cortez a talking to like she’s a child, I say ‘Give ‘em Hell!’  She could well be President so fight girl!!

***** Word is that Karen Pence is now teaching at the Immanuel School in Virginia. The school refuses admission to students who participate in or condone homosexual activity. The application for the school states that misconduct includes heterosexual activity outside of marriage, homosexual activity, polygamy, transgender identity and use of pornographic websites. The application goes on to state that ‘a wife must submit to her husband’ and a pledge must be signed to that effect.

***** There is controversy over the bill to give people a day off for Election Day. Many people will still have to work, the country never completely shuts down. How many fucking times do I have to say it: VOTE BY MAIL!!!!!!!!!!!

***** So, Scary clown told us Mexico would pay for ‘the wall’. During the campaign he gave actual ideas for that like Mexico giving us a one time payout or else he would not allow Mexican immigrants to western union money back to Mexico. Another idea was that there would be a great ta on that Western union money. It does not seem like they tried any of that and just decided we would pay for the stupid ‘wall.’ How about the money he makes off Trump merch which his website and hotels still sell to pay for it?? How about the $35 million that Trump sold in real estate in 2018? The ‘Wall’ go fund me did not reach its $1billion goal so the $20 million they did collect is being offered for refunds. Some of those people still want that money to go for its purpose so Trump is creating a non- profit. Can’t we use that money to help the border patrol agents and get the backlog in immigration court moving?? That we are still talking about this ridiculous wall and that it had a go fund me page is enough to boggle the normal brain.** I think Kimmel said it best when he suggested that Trump just tell the red hats that the wall has been built.  They believe everything he says so why wouldn’t they believe that??  It would save the country a lot of headaches. ** What the Hell is with his new “wheels and walls” mantra??** Russia caused Brexit too? Putin is a menace.** Another sink hole appeared the White House. WTF?

***** The congressional budget office says the shut down cost the U.S. 11 billion

***** Trump is talking to Herman Cain about a job on the Federal Reserve Board.

***** The GOP is selling fake bricks that cost about 50 cents for $20 each to send to Senate Dems. Some have said that the Dems should sign them and sell them and give the money to government workers. ** Why are Russian jets fucking around on the North American coastline??

***** Roger Stone has been indicted on 5 counts of false statements, 1 count of obstruction and 1 count of witness tampering. The FBI officers who arrested him were part of the shut down and they still did their job!!  He publically and privately claimed to have communicated with Russia. Predictions are that many more indictments are coming down the pike that involve many familiar faces.** Roger Stone has a Nixon tattoo on his back. I feel sorry for his cell mate.-Bill Maher

***** Bill Maher got some flak for comments after Stan Lee died. He wasn’t slamming Lee, but wondered about comic book fans putting away childish things. I suppose that could include weed but point taken.

***** Jared Kushner along with 30 other White House staff was denied top secret clearance but Trump advisor Carl Kline overruled that decision and gave it to them anyway. This has never been done before, this is a job for intelligent agencies.

***** Empire star Jussie Smollett was attacked in Chicago in what cops are saying was a possible hate crime. The attackers were yelling that this was MAGA country, poured bleach on him and put a rope around his neck.  The actor was previously sent a letter full of homophobic and racist slurs which he FBI had been looking into.

***** Ellen page gave us some memorable, powerful words to chew on with her appearance on Stephen Colbert. I am sure she gave courage to many who suffer because of our hate filled administration.

***** Gwyneth Paltrow is being sued from a 2016 ski incident for 3 mil.

***** I gain more and more respect for Seth Meyers. I did not really understand the choice of him as host in the beginning. His notice of local stations, choice of guests and revolving drummers makes for a great show.

***** A Dutch company may have invented a small device that converts heat into cold and Forbes is saying, ‘it could save the planet.’

***** So looking forward to Ryan Murphy’s The Politician which will star Jessica Lange, Gwyneth Paltrow and January Jones.

***** I know that is has happened little by little and we go thru times in our history when things get worse and then things get better but… When did this country get so fucking corrupt?? I mean seriously.. Why is Brendan Dassey still in prison and why is there no real justice for Teresa Halbach? ** Why is Trump still in the White House?**Why are government workers being told to work for nothing?? Why is R Kelly still living it up?? Why are some states going backward in time when it comes to women’s health?? Why do many corporations care more about their own pockets than the children of their employees or the environment around them??** Why does our justice system so often punish big for small infractions and allow the powerful to do anything they want?? **Why is a wall a better idea than infrastructure or warm beds for the homeless or food for our children and why are so many children in cages??

***** How can it be that we are still in a world where people are not allowed to reach their full potential?? Why do so many selfish humans actually fight to live in a world where they actively hold others back? Shouldn’t we all be concerned about the greater good?  We should all be allowed to see a Doctor when we are ill. We should all be able to excel in education if we choose .We should all be able to get a job to fit our skills and work ethic.  Opportunities and the pursuit of happiness should be available to all. Why is this so fucking hard for so many to grasp in this world? Imagine!

***** Sundance premiered the new flick, Big time adolescence with Griffin Gluck and Pete Davidson. Pete has since made no bones about filming in Syracuse. He hated it.

***** Jeff Flake will join CBS news as a contributor.

***** Tom Brokaw is in a bit of trouble for saying Hispanics should work harder at assimilation.

***** The Tom Hanks/ Matthew Rhys film, A beautiful day in the neighborhood has pushed back its release date to Nov. 22.

***** People are illogical and self- centered. Love them anyway. -Hedy Lemarr

*****R.I.P. Bob Einstein, Millie Wiesehan, victims of the Torrance. Ca. bowling alley shooting, Captain Darryl Dragon, Jo Andres, Lamin Sanneh, Carol Channing, Sandra Harmon, Bradley Bolke, the victims of Mediterranean shipwreck, Lorna Doom, victims of the Florida bank shooting, Kaye Ballard, Willie York , Barbara Claman , victims of the mining dam collapse in Brazil and James Frawley.

[tepkunset]

Wait, who's whitewashed in New Mutants?

*Cracks knuckles*

Roberto “Bobby” da Costa AKA Sunspot is a biracial, white/Black Brazilian man. (The fact that he is Black is actually a crucial part of his origin story too, considering he discovered his powers because racist assholes physically and verbally assaulted him in the middle of a soccer game.)

This is Bobby in the comics, vs his actor, Henry Zaga:

They got the Brazilian thing right, but gee… something seems to be missing. I wonder what it is.

Cecilia Reyes is a Black Puerto Rican woman. She was originally going to be played by Rosario Dawson, (while not perfect, definitely better than who they ended up with) who backed out of the role for reasons unknown. (She probably saw what shit it is.)

This is Cecilia in the comics, vs her actress, Alice Braga:

Well, isn’t that weird. But what an innocent mistake, am I right?

Danielle “Dani” Moonstar AKA Mirage is a Cheyenne woman. A Cheyenne woman with dark skin, and who you could never call whitepassing.

This is Dani in the comics, vs her actress, Blu Hunt:

Huh, interesting. I’m sure casting a whitepassing Native girl is totally coincidentally matched with all the whitewashing, yeah?

“But Blu Hunt is a First Nations woman, shouldn’t you, a First Nations woman, be happy they didn’t cast a white woman to play Dani?” Well, yes and no. Yes, I’m not as angry as I would be if they casted the white actress that almost did, as Hollywood ever so frequently does. But we are not required to be happy for Hollywood doing the absolute bare minimum when they should be aiming for accuracy. You know what the optimal casting would be? A dark skinned Cheyenne woman. Like Dani. But I would have been pleased with at least a dark skinned Native girl period. And when you pair this casting with the casting of the two other characters of colour, it’s really fucking interesting how supposedly out of their international search for actresses, they could only find a whitepassing girl as suitable to play this very much not whitepassing character.Like, if someone came up to me and said “hey, do you want to play Dani, we know she’s one of your favourite characters!” I would say no. Because while I am Mi’kmaw, I am whitepassing, and Dani is not.AND THEY WERE LITERALLY ACTUALLY CONSIDERING CASTING A WHITE ACTRESS. So that should really tell you where their mind was at here. (See links below.)

And finally…

Xi’an “Shan” Coy Manh AKA Karma is a Vietnamese lesbian, who eventually is also an amputee. Shan was the first leader of the New Mutants…

And yet she is not even in this movie. They just. Cut her out. She is the leader of the very team they are making the movie about and they erased her entirely from it.

“An Asian lesbian you say? Oh no. We can’t have that in our movie.” 

Now, all of these characters have faced whitewashing in the comics from time to time, as well. Comicbook whitewashing is a thing. But that doesn’t mean the movies should follow suit. I’ve seen people post pictures of whitewashed art of these characters and say “look, it’s great casting!” You are comparing whitewashing to whitewashing and need to shut the fuck up.

So, this is my biggest problem with the New Mutants movie, if you can even call it that.

…My second biggest problem is that it’s fairly fucking obvious what the plot of the movie is, based on the trailer and comic knowledge, and I’m gonna go ahead and skip a story about the kidnapping and torture of an Indigenous child with the ability to create illusions out of people’s fears and thus turns the place into a haunted house and by extension is the unintentional villain of the movie by what will surely be a Shocking™ plot twist.

EDIT: Before you decide to add more clownery responses to this post, instead of recycling the same old bullshit please just see this follow-up -

Karma not being part of the Demon Bear Saga, which the movie seems to be extremely loosely based on, is no excuse when the films give no shits about authenticity in any other regard

You are aware that there are Black Brazillians, right? And Roberto da Costa is one

No seriously, apparently I have to ask this question multiple times. You are aware that there are Black Brazillians, right?

Roberto has been whitewashed a-plenty in the comics, but that is a) a problem in itself and b) no excuse for whitewashing in film, and even still he has for the most part been depicted as a Black man

Just like Roberto, Dani has been drawn in extremely different degrees of whitewashing over the years, but has also still for the most part been drawn as a dark skinned Cheyenne woman. Do not even bother coming at me with bullshit claims about Dani, bitch. She is my absolute favourite character and I will pull the receipts from any issue she’s ever been in

The studio has no place selling themselves as being progressive for casting a light skinned Native girl to play a dark skinned Native girl, when their second choice was a white girl, and they could have without any effort at all had better casting

Casting a darker skinned Native woman to play a darker skinned Native character is important, given how deep set Hollywood is with colourism and also the false idea that there are no full blooded Native people left

“But Asgard!!1!”

Don’t you dare excuse all this racism because of the queerbaiting

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS “BLACKWASHING” LEARN TO FUCKING GOOGLE

[melonoverlord]

the 50 qs for the goofy drama zip zap boi

Their age?

16

Their sexuality/sexual preference?

Bisexual

Any siblings/Only child?

He has two siblings, one older sister (Judith) who he’d sell his soul to Satan for, and one younger brother (Reuben) who he’d sell to Satan. Jk, he loves Benny but sometimes he is too much to handle. They are all separably vying for “Most Extra Spiegelmann” Award

Their favourite season?

Winter. His goal every year is to make the tallest snowman with Ashi.

Who were/are their parents/guardians?

His parents were Henry and Antonia, and were pretty good parents to all of them and always encouraged him to be himself, but when Judith disappeared and it didn’t really seem like she had run away because Daniel told the police that she never had a problem at home, but like pre-teens did, sometimes have arguments with her mom and dad (mainly related that Judith wanted to go out and stay out with her friends), they were tried and arrested for child abduction and murder and now Daniel and Reuben officially live with their Great Aunt Theresa, but when Daniel’s boss entered the picture, he paid Daniel’s aunt to have unofficial custody over the boys as long as he paid college education and living expenses for them.

Their gender?

Male

Their date of birth?

September 15, 2002

What clothing style?

Usually gray jeans and t-shirts of either shows he’s been in or the stupid graphic tees you get at target. In his work, his boss has been trying to make sure he dresses better and is now starting to wear either sweaters or button ups with slacks. He doesn’t like that very much.

What is their favourite food after a break-up?

Butterscotch cookies from a bakery in Downtown Grand Rapids. They would know him by name.

Their favourite thing to do after a break-up?

Listen to every single musical or Disney love song and cry while eating chocolate chip ice cream. It hurts his tummy afterwards but it helps to focus on an upset tummy than a broken heart.

What happens in the ‘honeymoon phase’ for this character?

The kid will be broke because he’s always trying to buy gifts based on what you said you liked that one time. He’ll also always be with you and giving you cuddles and holding your hand and say “I found this flower, it reminded me of you.”

How many serious relationships have they been in?

None. He always had eyes for Ashi and didn’t know whether she liked him back.

What is their nationality?

American, though his family came from Poland in the 1930s.

What languages do they speak?

English, Hebrew, and Polish.

What is their profession/Education?

He was taught in Michigan for most of his life in both regular public school and then Hebrew school, and now he’s on a hiatus on school while he works, but still takes classes online at the local city college.

Their favourite comfort food?

Chocolate milkshakes. He’ll drink like five in an hour. Who cares if he’s lactose intolerant.

What’s a food they hate?

Tomatoes. They’re too squishy.

Their music taste?

Alternative rock or musical theatre. He’s honestly a fan of anything except country. Fuck country.

Is there a story behind their name/meaning?

Daniel’s a king in the bible, and Henry wanted to have a strong son that could make their family proud.

Something they do that seems childish to others?

When he gets overstimulated, whether happy or sad, he starts to cry. He once cried because he couldn’t finish an exam on time. He still got a B+ but he cried.

What is their all-time favourite TV show?

Mythbusters. They way they just *clenches fist* bust those myths. He also really likes anything with Gordon Ramsey because he’s funny.

What is their all-time favourite movie?

He’s a super big fan of the Indiana Jones movies, particularly The Last Crusade. His favorite part is where Indy and his dad set the room on fire.

How big is their family?

Originally it was him, Judith, Benny, and his parents, but now it’s him, Benny, techinically Great Aunt Theresa? And kinda his boss.

Are they close to anyone specific in the family?

He was extremely close to Judith when they were younger. He would say she was his best friend and she would come to his theatre performances when his parents had work. Now that she’s gone, he’s close(ish) to Benny, but they have a lot of tension from Benny just wanting his freedom and Daniel wanting to be a brother instead of a parent.

Have they got any allergies?

Bees and mosquitoes. He gets severe reactions from any bug bites that camping anywhere is kind of off the table.

Are they an emotional person?

Yes, but he tries to keep it under control and do whatever he’s being told to do. But the kid definitely feels the highs and lows 

Do they get angry/lose their temper quickly?

He’s got a lot of reasons to be angry, but he knows he has to hold it together for Benny (and Ashi). So he just waits until he’s alone and then he cries.

What are some of their guilty pleasures?

Playing video games for hours on end, talking to his pet gerbil Madonna, and writing out letters to Ashi that he can’t send so he keeps under his mattress at home.

Do they have pets? Do they want pets?

He has his pet gerbil Madonna that he and Benny watch over.

Do they like kids? Do they want kids/have kids?

He’s alright with kids, but he couldn’t handle another right now since he’s kind of the sole caretaker of Reuben.

Who’s cuddle buddy are they?

It used to be Judith’s and Ashi’s, but now it’s just Benny, which Benny absolutely hates. He squirms out of every hug that Daniel tries to give him.

Do they have any tattoos?

Nope, baby’s afraid of needles.

Do they have any piercings?

No, for the same reasons.

What is their hair colour? Is it their natural colour?

Dark blonde. He dyed the ends of it to a blue when he was fourteen, and Benny and Ashi both immediately agreed they hated it, so he cut it off.

Do they like musicals?

He loves musicals. He’s been participating in community theatre since he was around seven or eight (he had his first starring role as Gavroche in Les Miserables) and listens to musicals to calm himself down from panic attacks.

Do they like marmite?

He doesn’t say it to anything, but he actually likes it on toast. He doesn’t eat it that often because nearly everyone on his team hates it, but he enjoys it on the downlow.

Do they like glitter?

He has a glitter folder that he puts his sheet music in. He likes anything flashy and shiny.

Do they believe in the supernatural?

Mothman is real and you can’t convince him otherwise.

Have they ever seen a dead body?

He’s been lucky enough not to, but he’s worried that one of these days in the line of work he’s doing, he’s going to either see a dead body or 

be 

the dead body

Have they ever had a near-death experience?

He’s had plenty of near death experiences, a lot of them by his own doing. He once was about 20 feet from splatting on the pavement because he teleported too late.

Have they ever broken a bone?

Despite his general disregard for safety, Daniel is lucky that he’s never broken a bone. He almost broke his tailbone when he fell off a tree when he was fourteen, but he just had the air knocked out of him.

What are they like when they’re drunk/what kind of drunk are they?

He’d be the flirty drunk who just says he loves you so much. He’s also the one that forgets that you’re dating, so when you say you’re taken he starts crying.

Have they ever drunk underage?

Nah, his faith is pretty strict about drinking for funsies.

What is the first thing they do when they wake up?

Go to water his plants in his room. He has a fern named Patricia.

Do they consider themselves popular?

He’s had friends here and there mostly through theatre, but in his mind having Ashi was enough. It didn’t really set in how much he was lonely until she left.

How do they like their tea/coffee?

With as much sugar dumped in. Think you added enough sugar? No, add more.

What do they smell like?

Apple cologne, hazelnut, and pinewood candles.

Are they a virgin?

Yes, he’s only had one kiss and that was a stage kiss for Rent. He played Roger.

Do they wear glasses/contacts?

He wears contacts because he doesn’t like anything crowding around his eyes. He likes his Flicker mask because it actually covers the whole face rather than just his eyes and he can focus on outside stuff.

Are they good at remembering significant dates? Anniversaries, birthdays etc?

He’s good when it comes to Benny and Ashi, but completely abysmal when it comes to himself or other people’s. He once forgot a staff meeting with his team until they were literally at his doorstep politely demanding to come in.

[diversemymedia]

Into the Badlands Always Gave The Only Main Black Woman the Shortest End of the Stick (Spoilers)

When Season 2 of Into the Badlands returned, I was excited to see where everyone was, especially Veil (Madeleine Mantock). Season 2 takes a six month gap after the Season 1 finale. Veil had just given birth to her son, Henry, but had been kidnapped by Quinn (Marton Csokas) and lived under him and his henchmen in some forsaken place. I was disappointed by her situation because I could see the incoming trauma that plenty characters of color must face if it meant survival. I thought that it could be the beginning to a meaningful character development and I hoped for the best. However, I wasn’t foolish enough to think she could be exempted from death, and it’s something that forever lingers in the back of my mind with any character of color. One day on Facebook, I came across an article titled “Into The Badlands Gave Us The Worst Character Trope In Its Finale”. I never read it and just by seeing the headline, my guess was right on the money. 

When I first heard about Into the Badlands, I was hesitant. However, actor Daniel Wu, who portrayed the series’ lead character, Sunny, gained my support as I did more research and discovered that he was part of the producing team. Around this time, there were strong discussions of representation going on, and Asian males were part of it. So you could imagine how glad I was when it wasn’t part of the ongoing trend of appropriating East Asian culture & martial art traditions by whitewashing it and giving the lead a white face. The pilot wasn’t the greatest, but I supported the diversity. I was ecstatic to see a martial arts based series that could wholesomely portray an East Asian male without writing him off as some silent caricature or magical Asian stereotype. To add to the hype, his love interest, Veil, was a black woman doctor. He also found a protege named M.K. (Amaris Knight), who’s actor is part South Asian. There were other minor characters of color, but when I first saw Veil, I knew that I had to keep my eye on her because she was the only woman of color with a main role. Mantock is a biracial, light skinned actress, so in my mind I immediately thought of colorism and women in Hollywood. I figured she probably wouldn’t have gotten the role if she weren’t, but I considered her black nonetheless and the showrunners showed their stance also.

Since I was small, I always noticed the token black friend, but after stumbling into online threads and videos posted by black fan girls, I began to notice the unfair and bizarre disconnect with Black woman characters in television, games, books, etc. They were virtually nonexistent and it made me realize that black actresses have a much harder time getting on-screen compared to black men or their non-black counterparts. To make matters worse, the few black woman characters are poorly handled and are written with overused characteristics that translate into unhealthy stereotypes (e.g. the “strong black woman” trope, the “easily angered black woman” or the “sassy black woman”). No one is saying that strong, upset, smart-mouthed black women don’t exist, but it’s not all those black women are. Those same self-sufficient, lively and outspoken women have vulnerabilities and flaws too, and it was a side I rarely saw utilized to counterbalance the issue.

Veil’s backstory was minimal but interesting: She was an orphan under Quinn’s care and was adopted by her parents as a sign of gratitude from Quinn. In Season 1, Veil discovered that she was pregnant with Sunny’s baby and wanted to leave the Badlands. She does whatever it takes to remain alive so she can give birth to her baby. Unlike many other women, she lacked fighting prowess and I figured she’d eventually learn something being with Sunny, a peak martial artist. She didn’t. I didn’t stress it because I figured there were future seasons where I could look forward to that. To make up for it, Veil was intelligent. She could outsmart and be clever without falling into the black genius trope. She invented prostheses to aid the disabled and overall possessed a natural maternal instinct. And while those were great, she’s wasn’t reluctant to risk her life if it meant survival. Her choices were irrational at times but it added depth and complexity to her character’s flaws. Ultimately, she was able to sway a situation in her favor because of her well-known profession. It was something I loved. Veil’s character didn’t have the best writing, but I was blown away seeing that she survived the first season despite being in the middle of so much carnage.

There were few issues that I noticed, like the erasure of her black parents (or parent, considering she’s biracial) and it’s an ongoing trait I’ve began to notice whereas if a character is biracial or racially ambiguous, the character’s parents/relatives of color are out of the picture (e.g. Vixen in the web series, Vixen. Madison Pettis in The Game Plan, Rashida Jones from Parks and Recreation, etc. [Note that it’s mostly women]). Personally, I see it as a tool to avoid confirmation of racial identities and to avoid casting “too many” actors characters of color. Sometimes, there can be a complicated portrayal of race when it comes to biracial characters. In some cases, I find it even weirder when biracial characters have two monoracial parents. Eventually, Veil’s parents are tragically murdered by Quinn, and although it’s still one of the worst traumas any of the characters face, I have mixed, thankful feelings that both weren’t black characters made to instantly be killed off. However, to reaffirm her race, I think I would’ve been fine with a black parent dying off-screen alongside their white partner.

When Veil died in Season 2, I was struck with some emotion. Not only was the death scene heartbreaking, but I was upset by how easy it was for me to predict the scene before it could happen. I thought about the many times black characters have had to sacrifice themselves for the needs of others (commonly known as “Heroic Sacrifice”, racially as “Sacrificial Negroes”) and it bothers me when I see it done to upcoming black actresses because roles for them are scarce to begin with. Since fridging women was a common thing before white feminist leads became a thing, it’s like the fridging torch was happily passed down to women (and even men) of color. Very soon into the season, I had issues with Veil’s predicament since there was nothing she could do to escape her kidnapper’s abuse. She was repeatedly caged in cramped rooms, was always punished by being separated from her baby and went to disastrous lengths to kill one of Quinn’s henchmen during a failed attempt to escape. To add insult to injury, she was still defenseless unlike plenty of the other powerful [white] women in the series. Even Lydia (Orla Brady) showcased some kind of self-defense when killing off thieves that ransacked her father’s group. She’s a Baron’s wife, so it wasn’t questioned. So, why not Veil? She’s the one dating the deadliest Clipper in all of the Badlands and I find it difficult to believe that a character like Sunny never once thought about the potential threats that could follow Veil—I sure fucking did. Just look at where it got her. 

Halfway into Season 2, Veil managed to escape and seek sanctuary at The Widow’s fortress. Unfortunately, a decision that Veil made in Season 1 is casually brought up by the Widow (Emily Beecham) and she is so angered she gives Veil and her baby back to Quinn, despite her belief to “protect all women”. The scene was so pointless, I would’ve preferred the writers not make Veil escape at all. At this point, Veil is abused even more because of her escape. She’s physically assaulted, forced into marriage, nearly raped and more secrets (such as killing the guard and slowly killing Quinn under the guise of treatment) have been revealed in a manner that unintentionally downplays her initial cleverness. When Sunny finally arrived to rescue Veil, I was happy and praying that my own suspicions on Veil would be biased and wrong. During the fight with Sunny, Quinn was stabbed for the hundredth time and still managed to stand and hold a blade to Veil’s neck. For the protection of her loved ones, she sacrifices herself by thrusting the blade through her own throat and into Quinn’s. At this point, I was moved by the acting, but pissed by the writing. Jade (Sarah Bolger), Lydia, Tilda (Ally Ioannides) and Bajie (Nick Frost) are white characters who were all so close to death this season. Jade was spared by both the Widow and Quinn, Lydia avoided natural death situations three times over, Tilda was beat to a bloody pulp by The Widow and Bajie was stabbed in the side with a rusty scissor—yet they all miraculously happened to live. I just never understood it. I can appreciate Sunny being alive, but when I see white main characters constantly outwit death and outlive main characters of color, what other conclusion am I suppose to come to?

Veil’s death instantly reminded fans about the controversial death of Abbie Mills (Nicole Beharie) from the now cancelled series, Sleepy Hollow. A year before the Into the Badlands Season 2 finale, the showrunners of Sleepy Hollow had Abbie killed off by making her sacrifice herself, trying to fool others that she did it for the greater good. Abbie was the epitome of a disrespected black female lead. She was given less focal episodes and put through countless traumatic experiences: She got the worst of beatings in fights, spent weeks in dark/demonic dimensions, all to constantly be rescued by her white male co-lead. This time around, Sasha (Sonequa Martin-Green) had also recently been killed off from The Walking Dead. Although it is understandable that the actress was going to be leading a new series, her character’s death followed the same sacrificial circumstances.

I think fans of the series could agree that Veil’s character was wasted potential. It’s just unsurprising to see that a series trying to uplift bad ass women only seem do the job for the white ones. Just as The Widow’s ‘feminism’ was selective enough to cast out Veil from her fortress, the showrunners ironically did the same. Even if her death was used in a way to motivate Sunny’s story, that’s practically the definition of fridging. What Veil had experienced was enough to motivate Sunny’s arc, Henry’s arc and potentially her own. In retrospect, she could’ve fled with Sunny and learned to defend herself and her son to her best ability. Veil would’ve started out rough but improved overtime (similar to of Daisy from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.). I’m sure plenty of other fans would’ve died to see a face off between The Widow and Veil if they ever crossed paths again. With Sunny and the Widow going toe-to-toe on plenty occasions, Veil could’ve done the same, and it would’ve served the Widow right to get her ass handed to her by the woman she singled out...but nope. White feminist antics are apparently more important. Just the thought on how it could have gone makes it all the more depressing. If it was intentional or not...damn you, Al Gough. With the Abbots around, there’s a chance Veil can be resurrected. They can either save Veil for Season 3 or introduce another black female character.

Into the Badlands, Season 2 Rating: 1.5/5 stars

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[thefudge]

Hi :) I was wondering which are your book OTPs.

so you mean my literary otps?

get. ready.

1. SO. since you started me down this path, there is a little known book by barbara pym called excellent women, about this spinster-in-the-making young woman (called mildred) in england’s 1950s who becomes friends with her downstairs neighbors and develops an innocent crush on the husband of the family. now, that’s not the otp. oh, no. see, the neighbors have this anthropologist friend that is this haughty impatient dude who sneers at everything and seems perennially vexed (he’s not really proud, he’s just super particular and doesn’t have patience for artifice and good manners). IN COMES our protagonist who just doesn’t really know what to do with him. they just sort of accidentally spend time together and they have this amazing dynamic that i’ve looked for in other otps but haven’t found since. basically it’s this fascinating ease they have with each other and this natural grouchiness they share; he doesn’t treat her as a “woman” per se, but as a human being, whom he questions and challenges. he doesn’t put her on a pedestal and he doesn’t really love her for any special quality, it’s so fucking charming and effortless. there is this JEWEL of a scene where he awkwardly invites her over for dinner, and mildred thinks he’s your average asshole bachelor trying to get a free meal out of her (basically, having her over to cook for him) so she rejects him. she eventually does come over and when she acts surprised she doesn’t need to cook for him, he’s SO outraged like “wtf cook for me??? no thank u??? that’s not why you’re here grl”. it is PERFECT. i may be super subjective, tho, but these two owned me and still do. oh also, the dude’s name is EVERARD. it truly is perfect. so yeah, mildred/everard 5ever. 

2. elizabeth/darcy is a given, but i will like to say that from austen’s plethora of delightful ships, my angst-sucker-punch will forever be fanny price/henry crawford from mansfield park. yeah yeah, fanny ends up with dreaded cousin edmund for…sigh, good reasons i guess. like, it’s probably just my weird hang-up and perhaps austen thought this ship was too much “reformed rake” for her taste but maaan, when this tiny ship sailed, it sailed (i’m also always a sucker for playa dude plays himself with feelings)

3. here i go with my obscure shit again, but this novel from amelie nothomb. it can be translated as “the sparrow’s diary”, and it’s such a weird otp, because this dude is hired to assassinate a whole family, from what i remember, and he goes through with it, but he discovers the diary of the teenage girl and keeps it for some reason. and he falls for her, post-death. it’s messed up and amazing. and i won’t spoil the ending, but whoa. yeah, so assassin/sparrow. my jam. 

4. eliza doolittle/henry higgins. grouchy marrieds seems to be a theme. i love how unsentimental this ship is, when you get down to it.

5. beatrice/benedick from much ado about nothing. def see a pattern here.

6. phaedra/hippolytus. yes, the original mother/stepson ship yall. euripides was my guy. also, here’s a delightful pic from one of the stage adaptations

6. eve/the literal devil in paradise lost. the original sinful otp. i remember milton writing about lucifer pining over eve and her coolness. the BEST. 

7. robin/cormoran strike from the cormoran strike series by jk rowling. THESE TWO, lord oh mighty, you know, i do have harry potter ships aplenty, but rowling never ever managed to kill me with feels UNTIL ROBIN AND CORMORAN. fuck me. they are the exact mixture of banter/tough-love i adore so much. and what should be obvious from this entire list is that i love it when the gents treat the ladies like fully formed, complex human beings.

8. amy/nick from gone girl. one day i will wrote a whole “post” on my theory that gillian flynn actually wrote the truest romance ever with these two. yes, also great commentary on the patriarchy and the capitalist twist on marriage etc. BUT deep down, this is a story of two people who come to really, finally see each other for the first time. and what they find is that, paradoxically, they match really fucking well. U HEARD IT HERE FIRST FOLKS. nick doesn’t just stay with her at the end because he’s “trapped”. it’s a larger metaphor for me. he’s trapped because no one will ever know his soul like amy, and vice versa. it’s only after you’ve shat on each other forever that you can come out of it remade. FIGHT ME. (my second secret theory about gone girl it’s that wuthering heights with reversed genders and a sordid, amazing HEA for cathy(nick)/heathcliff(amy).

9. iago/othello - i would argue iago’s deep loathing was desire, mixed with a desperate need to subjugate othello.

10. onegin/tatiana. yall. YALL. if you have never read “evgheni oneghin” by pushkin, remedy this mistake immediately. it’s a tragicomic lyrical novel about a young dandy who is doomed to ignore love when it is presented to him. but it’s also great, trope-wise. basically, he meets this young woman, tatiana, whom he finds pretty but simple and too romantic. she falls for him and tells him earnestly she wants to be together. this takes place circa early 19th century in russia. he rejects her. skip to 10 years later, she’s married to some important dude, he’s still embittered asshole, but he meets her again and falls for her. the roles are reversed, however.  BOOM. weep on that. 

11. lestat/louis/claudia for my anne rice fans. what a trash fam.

12. alice munro has a short story called “passion” which forever owns my soul. in it, this young, kind of naive girl goes on a drive with her boyfriend’s brother and well, it’s the best thing ever. the saddest, too. basically, those two. 

13. clara kalliam/ vincen coe. okay, yall, you may have no idea who these folks are but hooo boy, did they ruin me. so daniel abraham has this fantasy series called the dagger and the coin. basically, clara is part of the upper class society and is married to a baron. vincen is her husband’s servant. he is several years younger. their bond can never be. enter lots of angst and yearning and hot chemistry. what’s hilarious/painful about this ship is that clara is a lot like catelyn stark and vincen is a lot like jon snow, soooo if you ever thought that would be an interesting pairing, you’re welcome (i should say, they’re hardly the main focus/main ship of the series but they do play an important part and they’re my bbies)

14. there’s this book by yukio mishima called “spring snow”, it’s part of a bigger trilogy of his on love. but anyway, the two lovers in that book are sooo fucking intense i die every time. he wants to hate her, but ends up worshipping her. she’s engaged to a prince, ofc. it’s hopeless. the aaaangst. (in later novels, there’s a great queer subtext involving reincarnation and two male friends, but! those two crazy kids).i had to look up their names again, but they’re called kiyoaki & satoko.

15. dunya/svidrigailov - sooooo. these two are from crime and punishment, by dostoyevsky. basically, it’s a petyr/sansa ship that goes there. there’s a scene where she threatens him with a gun and it’s the hottest thing ever. he’s kiiind of obsessed with her but she’s also drawn to him. it’s weird and tragic and hopeless, in the end, but sooo good.

16. pretextat/nina - another amelie nothomb novel, this one called “hygiene de l’assassin”. so, you have this author dude who is scum of the earth. erudite and refined but absolute piece of fucking shit. enter girl who read all his work and wants to interview him. she thinks she’s uncovered the fact that he murdered someone in his past. pretextat falls in love with her in the course of one conversation. at one point i remember there’s a scene where she spits on him. it’s the fucking best. 

i think i’ve got many more, but just to give you a taste of my diverse literary menagerie lol. (jane/rochester should probs be there too but i decided to go with lesser known, more personal choices).