#Darman is the love of my life

[trixie2023]

Putting this out there to all of you talented writers. I need some hot, sexy, horny Darman in my life right now. I’m absolutely obsessed with him. 😫❤️

[timeladix]

It had to be done people...

Yes these are (form left to right) Darman, Etain and Kal Skirata from the repcomm series

What have i become..

(don't know the artists, took the art from pinterest, if you know who painted these please let me know so i can tag them:)

Update: Etain and Dar fanart by Jen Richards. Kan Skirata fanart by krad-eelav.

[myspacerebels]

Etain wanted to tell him maybe don’t be so harsh on the poor girl yes not telling him about convincing a kid is hella wrong but kal also told her not to say anything everyone is complex in this series people make mistakes do bad stuff heal etc I’ve read this series since it’s come out yeah I know some things are crap especially order 66 but dar and etain do love one another it’s better than Disney

I know, I know, lol.

Kal isn't any better. But. We meet Etain as a padawan and, although she might not be that young, the way I see it is she's a 15-yo girl who meets a 12-yo boy and after dating him for 3 days goes "hmm, yeah, a surprise baby would be an awesome gift".

A baby that could lose his parents anytime because of the war. A baby who will lose his father way too soon anyway. Darman won't be able to see his son grow up but she goes on.

I might be able to see the good in the characters if these books weren't so cringey.

Things like "Papa Kal saved us from the big bad Kaminoans", "I'm so hot people don't trust me" and "Maker, I want a girlfriend so bad" are repeated a hundred times in True colors. You could cut off half of the book.

Back to Etain, she's not just a bad girlfriend, she's a bad general. She wants to stay in the military so bad but she's so focused on her teenage romance problems that she puts her men in danger, she gets them killed. But still "they need me, poor boys :'( ".

Anyway, I love hating these books lol. The discussion on human rights, clone welfaire, the corrupted Republic and far-from-perfect Jedi Order are great. I just wish it didn't sound like the characters came straight from a young adult urban fantasy romance x)

[vodika-vibes]

This is the Masterlist for my 500 followers event

This is now long enough to need to be put under a readmore

500 Followers Event Announcement - Ended

Love Is Patient - ARC Trooper Fives x F!Reader

I'll Wait Forever - Post-Stasis Kix x F!Reader

Time For Us - Captain Rex x F!Reader (18+)

Worth It - Clone Assassin x F!Reader (18+)

Fall Into Love - TBB Hunter x F!Reader

Not Broken - TBB Crosshair x F!Reader

Summer Love - Captain Howzer x F!Reader

Mountain Romance - TBB Tech x F!Reader

Morning Light - Captain Keeli x F!Reader

Sugar and Spice - TBB Crosshair x F!Reader

Colors of Fall - ARC Trooper Fives x GN!Reader

Comfort - Ezra Bridger x GN!Reader

Not A Question Of Worth - Commander Fox x GN!Reader

I'm Not Jealous - Captain Howzer x GN!Reader

Under The Summer Sun - Clone Trooper Tup x F!Reader

I See You - Clone Trooper Dogma x GN!Reader

Forever - Clone Commando Sev x F!Reader

Under The Moonlight - ARC Trooper Jesse x F!Reader

You Make My World Brighter - TBB Echo x F!Reader

I Can Fix That - TBB Wrecker x F!Reader

Winter Wonderland - Jango Fett x F!Reader

First Choice - Clone Medic Kix x Reader

Life Day Conversations - Ezra Bridger x GN!Reader

So This Is Love - ARC Trooper Fives x F!Reader

It's Always Been You - Commander Cody x GN!Reader

Hero - Captain Rex x F!Reader

No Power - Commander Wolffe x F!Reader

Confession - Clone Commando Boss x GN!Reader

Heartbeat - TBB Wrecker x GN!Reader

Just The Two Of Us - Clone Trooper Tup x GN!Reader

Sunset Kisses - TBB Echo x GN!Reader

Pumpkin Spice - Commander Fox x GN!Reader

I Can Wait - Captain Rex x F!Reader

Trapped - Alpha-17 x F!Reader

Love Language - TBB Crosshair x GN!Reader

Understanding - ARC Captain Fordo x F!Reader

April Showers - Commander Wolffe x F!Reader (Smut)

Butterfly Kisses - TBB Echo x GN!Reader

Shiny - ARC Trooper Fives x GN!Reader

Enjoy The Show - TBB Crosshair x F!Reader

I'll Protect You - TBB Hunter x GN!Reader

Because It's You - TBB Tech & F!Reader

Silent Night - Darman Skirata x F!Reader

For Always and Forever - Clone Commando Scorch x GN!Reader

Spread Your Wings - ARC Trooper Fives x F!Reader

And The Cicadas Sang - ARC Trooper Jesse x F!Reader

First Time In Forever - Captain Gregor x GN!Reader

Just Like This - TBB Wrecker x F!Reader

Better Together - TBB Crosshair x F!Reader x TBB Tech

Satisfied - Captain Rex x GN!Reader

You're Worth It - ARC Trooper Fives x GN!Reader

Safe and Sound - Commander Wolffe x GN!Reader

Beloved - TBB Crosshair x F!Reader x TBB Tech

Easier - Clone Commando Fixer x GN!Reader

Midnight Love - Commander Colt x GN!Reader

Theirs - Commander Fox x F!Reader x Commander Wolffe

Syrupy Kisses - TBB Wrecker x GN!Reader

This Love - TBB Hunter x F!Reader

Love Is A Choice - TBB Crosshair x F!Reader, TBB Omega, TBB Echo

Brighter Than The Sun - Commander Neyo x F!Reader

Take A Chance - Clone Trooper Dogma x GN!Reader

My Choice Remains - Commander Wolffe x GN!Reader

Tell Me - Alpha-17 x F!Reader

Your Love - Captain Wilco x GN!Reader

What It Means To Love - Atin Skirata x F!Reader

Silent Night - TBB Wrecker x F!Reader

Almost As Pretty As You - Darman Skirata x F!Reader

A Change Of Pace - TBB Wrecker x F!Reader

Defying Gravity - Clone Trooper Dogma x F!Reader (18+)

[mamuzzy]

This blurb was born from a conversation where we talked about how no one is there for Kal to counter, oppose or punish him for his decisions and deeds therefore the author favors him over the characters who are critical about him.

Mind that, this wasn't meant to go after anyone, just my observations about the character I deeply love.

THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY OPPOSING KAL SKIRATA part 1.

HIS FAMILY FROM THE PAST

If we see this as some dramaturgy aspect, Kal already got his punishment and judgement from others, but that happened in the past. By the time we see Kal in Triple Zero, he is already at his redemption arc!

Long rambling about Kal Skirata under the cut.

Kal lives a life that is not suitable for a family that requires all parents to be at home, and from the narrative, it's really similiar to the military families in real life.

When they say, he was never home, usually they don't mean that the children and the wife never saw him. It's more likely, he was at home for months or two and then went after a bounty. Difference is, in peace time you usually know when will your soldier husband return, but as a bounty hunter, I think it's unpredictable when you will see your family again, or in family pov, when you will see your husband or father again. There was a sentence I think, where it was stated Ilippi at first enjoyed being a wife of a famous bounty hunter and it was pure love at first (you know: sounds cool in theory, but actually having a soldier-boyfriend/girlfriend demand sacrifices), and probably the money was good (couples and families with children often staying together for financial safety eventhough they both know it's not working).

The two oldest boy had time to understand what is happening between Kal and Ilippi. The oldest boy was 8 when their divorce happened - that's the time when Kal wanted to take the boy with him to hunt.

Thinking about a lot about Ruu, and I think she already raised in an environment where she barely seen her father but was too young for understand how that affected the rest of the family.

Now if the boys already had hate for their father, it was because of the mother's influence. I think this is a perfectly valid women representation. Not the one, people want to see in fiction, but valid and real. Also real, because Ilippy decided this life is not for her and her children. Kal and Ilippy had cultural clashing many times. She realized that she doesn't want this for herself and left. And this is something people in bad relationship usually doesn't have the strenght to do it. Ilippy is fucking valid.

But I also understand Kal too, because he had an expectation how he will raise his children but chose the bad partner for it. Their relationship never was about "them", there was either Kal's way or Ilippy's way. Their expectations never matched. Yet Kal never ceased to love his wife or biological children, he financially supported them until his sons disowned him as well because he couldn't be there for them when Ilippy died (I think it happened when Kal was already on Kamino).

Kal got his punishment by being disowned by his wife and later the boys too. There was a scene in the 501, where he thought about his part marriage and started to understand her ex-wife better. Kal tries to redeem himself by giving everything to his boys he couldn't give to his biological family. He really sucks at it, he makes dire mistakes, but he is trying.

(To be continued with more blurb about the relationship between Kal Skirata and Walon Vau, Nulls and the Commandos he raised. And Darman himself. Maybe Ny too.)

[lamaenthel]

Human Shield

[read on ao3][masterlist]Febuwhump prompt: human shield

Darman could smell rain on the wind that gently blew their bedroom curtains. The sun was just beginning to rise, clouds filtering the pink light into cold gray. He buried his face in Etain's hair and took a deep breath.

Characters: RC-1136|Darman Skirata/Etain Tur-Mukan

Wordcount: 876

Darman could smell rain on the wind that gently blew their bedroom curtains. The sun was just beginning to rise, clouds filtering the pink light into cold gray. He buried his face in Etain's hair and took a deep breath.

"Morning." She shifted uncomfortably. Her belly had officially reached massive status, though Darman would cut his leg off before saying it to her face. "Mm. Lemme just…" She flung a sleepy hand in the direction of the window, closing it with her Force powers.

Darman chuckled and kissed the back of her neck. "You could have just asked me to close it, you know."

"Why get up when I can…" She wiggled her fingers. 

Darman took another deep breath of her dewberry blonde hair; she insisted it was brown, as though she'd never seen her own hair in the afternoon light. Her shampoo smelled like sunshine and had some sort of cactus he didn't recognize on the front of the bottle. "I like doing things for you."

"I know you do." She struggled to turn over in his arms. "You don't have to wait on me, Dar. You're not subservient to me."

"I absolutely am." He kissed her neck, and ignored the scowl that popped up in favor of gently biting the thin skin over her pulse point. "I'm your riduur. You're carrying my child. I am subservient to you in every way imaginable, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"You're incorrigible," she grumbled.

He laughed. "And how are you feeling this morning, ner Et'ika?"

Etain looked dolefully down at her giant stomach and sighed. "Enormous." 

Darman kept kissing her neck, considering it the smarter option over confirming her opinion. "Do you want a massage?" he mumbled into her skin.

"Maybe later." She caught his hand and guided it to her belly, smiling. "Do you feel your son?"

He nodded, his throat going tight. There was a fluttering pulse under his palm. "He's kicking," Darman said in awe.

"Yeah he is." Etain adjusted herself again and frowned at her big belly. Darman sympathized with her. He'd jumped out of more than one larty hauling more in equipment than what his runt of a wife weighed soaking wet and seven months pregnant.

"He's feisty. Like his mama." Darman kissed her cheek.

"He's a pain in my shebs like his daddy," Etain corrected him. 

"Oh, you know I love it when you speak Mando'a, ner cyar'ika." Darman said, nuzzling her neck. He blew a snozzberry in her throat and made her laugh. "Ner jet'ika, ner mesh'lane cyar'ika, gar dinui ner runi mirjahaal. Ni kartay'li gar darasuum."

"I love you too," she sighed, lacing their hands together over her stomach. "I'm sorry, Dar."

"About what?"

"That we never got to do this." She blinked her big, sad green eyes at him. "We deserved this, but we never had it."

"What are you talking about, Et'ika?" Darman sat up, confused.

Etain just looked at him patiently. "You know what I'm talking about."

"I…" Darman couldn't draw a full breath.

"It's not your fault. You did nothing wrong, my love."

"I…" Not my girl! Not my girl!

"Hey." Etain pulled his face close, pressed their foreheads together. "It was my fault. I've been using a lightsaber since I was four years old. I knew better than to try and stop one with my body."

"Then why did you?" Darman whispered, shaking. "What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't." She laughed softly. "I wasn't thinking, Dar. I acted on instinct and made a stupid, stupid mistake that cost me my life. I'm sorry you had to watch."

"I miss you." Darman squeezed his eyes shut. "I miss you so much, Etain. I wish you could see Kad. He's… he's like you. He needs you, but he doesn't have you."

"Lucky for him, he has the best dad in the whole galaxy." She kissed his fingers. "I love you, Dar. I will always love you. Ni kartay'li gar darasuum, ner riduur." 

"Etain," Darman said frantically, "Etain, wait—"

"Daddy?"

Darman shot up, instantly awake. He'd never lost that ability, even though it'd been four years since he'd seen active combat. The smell of Etain's shampoo lingered in the air. "Kad?" He held out his arms to the silhouette in the doorway. It was early; the sun had just barely risen, the gray rainclouds above Kyrimorut bleaching the pink dawn into cold gray.

His son dove into his arms eagerly. "You okay, Daddy?" he asked, getting situated.

"Of course, ad'ika. Just a sad dream." Darman fluffed his son's dewberry-blond hair, the same as his mother's. "Let's get some breakfast. Daddy's hungry."

"Was it a mama dream?" Kad didn't seem eager to leave his arms.

Darman sighed. "Yeah. It was a mama dream."

"Well, that's okay then." Kad smiled. "That just means she misses you. That's what she says when I have mama dreams. She comes and sees me 'cause she misses me so much."

Darman didn't want to cry in front of his son, but it was a damn close call. He forced himself to smile instead and threw off the covers. "Come on. Let's make some waffles." He reached up to close the window he'd left cracked the night before and paused.

It was already closed.

Mando'a Translations riduur: spouse ner Et'ika: my little Etain shebs: butt ner cyar'ika: my sweetheart ner jet'ika, ner mesh'lane cyar'ika, gar dinui ner runi mirjahaal. ni kartay'li gar darasuum: my little jedi, my most beautiful sweetheart, you give my soul peace. i hold you in my heart forever ad'ika: child

Taglist: @starwarsficnetwork, @febuwhump, @soliloquy-of-nemo Divider: @saradika-graphics

[din-djarins-riduur]

The Bad Batch Episode III : Solitary Clone & Republic Commando Parallels

*Spoilers for the books*

—————————————————

I really loved this episode, not only because it revolves around Crosshair, but because it parallels so much with the clone trooper Darman from The Republic Commando Series.

First, not only was this memorial striking and also a replica of the Vietnam War Memorial, but for those who read the RP books, this can also be a homage to the Mandalorian tradition of saying a dead loved one’s name every day in order to keep their existence alive even after death. In the books, Darman does this for two brothers that he had accidentally killed in self defense. It tortured him, but he knew saying their names everyday was the right thing to do. There is also a scene in the books where Walon Vau and Kal Skirata say the names of every dead trooper that they had trained. If I remember correctly, the list takes them about two hours to say, but for Mandalorians it is worth it.

Now, I can’t say this was the creators’ intention when designing this memorial, but the mood and the list of names that go on and on really reminded me of that.

Next, I wanted to talk about the similarities between Crosshair and Cody and that of Darman and Niner. In the books, Darman wants to stay with the Empire and kill every Jedi that he can in order to avenge his dead wife. This scares Niner and without needed time, Niner quickly realizes that the Empire is not what it seems. Like Niner, Cody also sees the true intent of the Empire and wants to go AWOL.

In the RP series, Niner and Darman even attempt to escape Coruscant, but right before they can board the ship, Darman chooses to stay, believing that his duty is to rid the galaxy of all remaining Jedi. Like Darman, Crosshair also feels compelled to stay, feeling that his only purpose in life is to finish his missions and prove himself to his superiors.

Also the freaking depression that both Crosshair and Darman go through literally rips at my heart. When I was reading the books, I felt so devastated for Darman. The poor man literally watched his wife die right in front of him and he was so traumatized by it that he would mentally tell himself that it didn’t happen to him but to someone else. He would act like a completely different person, referring to himself in his mind as “Not-Darman” all while wanting to die, unable to stand the thought of living his life without Etain. He even forgets that he has a son for while, knowing that if he acknowledged the fact that it would only cause him more pain because it reminded him of the life that got ripped out of his hands.

Like Darman, Crosshair is also going through depression. He looks as if he barely sleeps, stares up at the ceiling, mind racing with thought and reflection. His room is dark and small. He eats his meals alone, but chooses to sit with others because subconsciously he’s desperate for brotherhood. He feels as through everything has been ripped from him and therefore acts like a complete shell of himself to try and get rid of his feelings of regret, anger, and betrayal.

The truth is though, is that neither Darman or Crosshair are able to fool themselves. Eventually, they realize what has happened to them and soon enough start to doubt the Empire that they’re serving and the meanings of their lives.

In the RC books, this revelation comes to Darman when a squad brother of his shoots himself in the bathroom. The suicide shocks him so much that he starts to realize that he can’t continue life the way he had been. And for Crosshair, his revelation comes from Cody’s words, being told that unlike the droids, they’re able to think and make choices, and as consequence have to live with said choices.

Anyways, that’s what I was thinking and feeling while watching this episode and I hope that for the fans of The Republic Commando books that this satisfies your quench and niche thoughts and parallels.

[lyntergalactic]

lyn reads triple zero - finale

by which i mean i finished it last night and i have Thoughts

first off, it was a decently enjoyable book when i managed to turn off my brain. solid 3 stars. there's a lot of good here that i actually really liked, it's just... unfortunately balanced out by a lot of bad that made me want to throw my phone across the room.

so here we go. thoughts, in no particular order:

1.) i genuinely love the characters. even ones like kal who i hate as much as i love. i can see why people who don't do more than a surface reading like him. personally, i love how crunchy a character he is and how all his many flaws make him this unintentionally complex character. i just want to pick his brain apart.

i could ramble on about everyone but it's a lot of "these feelings i already had about these characters have been reinforced like crazy" which basically means i'm fascinated by all of them, want to get all of them therapy, and also want to write all the fic where they get to have healthier relationships lol

2.) there's a lot of yelling in tcw side of fandom about how the clones should get chances to act like the dumb college age kids they are, and they get to in this book!! i think some of my favorite moments were when the boys were egging each other on and giving each other shit. especially that fi and sev bit with the ladder, at least until sev hurts himself. like how fucking dumb is that but also how fucking typical of 20-ish year olds?

3.) fi is gay. fi is so gaaaaay. there are so many little points in his narration where it's like "ah, yes. he is absolutely attracted to [X] person" but beyond that, his whole little subplot about feeling like something in his life is missing? wanting a normal life and a girlfriend, etc? it's juxtaposed against etain and darman so much that it comes across like fi is in love with darman and just doesn't realize.

yes, i have a new ship. yes, i'm going to write horribly angsty fic for it. why do you ask?

4.) etain and darman are cute when KT isn't pushing her weird ass heteronormative agenda. though my aroace ass literally yelled at my phone "YOU'VE KNOWN HIM FOR A CUMULATIVE WEEK AND CHANGE, YOU DON'T LOVE HIM YET" when they had their first lil heart to heart and slept together that first time. but, again, they're young 20-somethings who might die at any time, i can forgive them that.

shit, i can even forgive etain's whole pregnancy thing--to a point--because she's a dumb kid who is going through a crisis of faith. (more on that specifically in a sec) but jfc kal's reaction to it all was--idefk. he's absolutely right to be furious with etain. what she did was stupid in the first place, not well thought through, and she's putting a hell of a lot at risk by going through with it.

but everything else about his reaction was just--dude. what the actual fuck. and 60% of that is his clinging to his bizarre conservative mando ideals while 40% is his utter disdain for the jedi and i just--UUUUGH.

5.) every time the jedi came up in narration. every. fucking. time. i wanted to scream. i know KT has terrible opinions on them. i've read most of the other books!! but oh my god it was especially bad.

do i think it would be interesting for etain and bardan to have crises of faith because of the war? absolutely. in fact, it even makes sense that they would!! but the way KT goes about it is just fucking baffling.

which is really highlighted by that one conversation etain has with ordo where he says "nah, you've got a worse life than i do because i was adopted but you were given away to strangers by your parents" and i'm just

THE FUCK DO YOU THINK HAPPENS TO NON-JEDI KIDS WHEN THEY GET ADOPTED, ORDO???? THEY'RE GIVEN AWAY TO STRANGERS BY THEIR PARENT(S).

there is just. so much. so much about the jedi that's so wrong and that if it was written rightly should've fucking changed entire character interactions and plot and it infuriates me.

6.) everything about the mission is just. plot holes all over. if i take it at surface value and treat it like a bad action movie that's just here for entertainment i'm fine, but the second i stop to actually think about how this whole mission is happening i'm just--that's not how this works. that's not how any of this works. how are you all not dead???

but, you know. whatever. i can deal with it. there were highly entertaining moments. i literally cackled out loud when fi told kal that he and sev planted explosives in the one dude's car and kal was like "... the car i was in?? FI." and i'm real intrigued by bardan as like... the commandos' Q figure. it's highly entertaining.

7.) i have A Lot of Opinions about the weird ass brand of masculinity KT's characters subscribe to. but one thing i appreciate is that her male characters cry and aren't thought of as less for it. it's one bastion of good in a sea of blegh.

8.) i mostly stopped capping bits as i got sucked in but i did nab this bit which made me laugh and is a good bit to end on. (i forgot what my other points were gonna be; work distracted me lkajsdf)

fi as a musical fan is my new favorite headcanon. i don't care if grease doesn't actually exist in the gffa.

also i need a crossover with mass effect where he and garrus exchange sniping playlists.

[countessofbiscuit]

5 and 7 for Sevfika :)

them ❤️‍🔥 thank you for the ask!

5. What is their love language?

Fi: “What language do I love? English Basic. So flexible, so fun, so capable of sucking its own cock. Mando’a is only good for pissing people off — especially Sergeant Kal, because I get a kick out of speaking it in his shitty accent.” 

Sev: “I love … silence.” 

But no, for real, the best thing about Sevfika is probably the irony. 

Sev — words of affirmation

Fi — physical touch

7. Who is more sentimental?

I am glad this question asks who is more sentimental, not ‘who is the sentimental one’ — because, imo, there’s a strong textual case for Sev being tender-hearted, it’s just been perverted by his upbringing. I think Sev was just dying to be able to wear his scars like Atin. 

[Sev] said he was going for 4,982 kills, one for every commando lost at Geonosis, and he wasn’t joking. He never was. He never said “five thousand,” either, and even Skirata rounded up the figure. No, Sev was exact about it. War was personal for him. (Chap. 12, Order 66)

Delta’s hard man, indeed … makes you think twice about the significance of his armor detail, I guess. 

(Probably best to page @kungfuslipper on this.)

Anyway, Fi is meant to be the more sentimental of the two. He keeps a diary, ffs (see: Triple Zero’s prologue). His sincerity and emotional attachments spill over into his observable life; his flippancy can’t keep a lid on it.  

Fi holds onto things: a Geonosian pike, Hokan’s armor, his own dented chestplate, glimmik recordings, a particular hairstyle (that Darman knows he’ll miss when the med-droids ruin it). He even holds onto things he doesn’t have: a lover, a life—and people around him notice. If I were a betting biscuit, I’d wager that, of the commandos, Fi’s feelings are brought up most by other characters in the books, usually in the context of trying to protect them. Darman even worries that Fi is prone to obsession. 

Moving onto my thots about their relationship specifically...

Fi’s is a heart-first crash into Sev—he wants to fall in love. Maybe not with Sev, sure, but that it happens in spite of everything only fascinates Fi more. I say again: he keeps a diary. 

Meanwhile, Fi is something which happens to Sev. It takes Sev a while to realize he’s feeling feelings for the cocksucker, and he’s in no hurry to start signposting them with actions or stuff. 

Now of course, I figure Sev becomes more sentimental, unconsciously and then consciously, as Fi sweetens his blood. (And especially once Fi "dies".) Souvenirs of and for Fi; namedropping Fi around Delta without his balls flinching; maybe even getting a tattoo too flamboyant even for Fi, because who’s still the got the biggest? :p

OTP Relationship Asks

[figgiforever]

I'm asking Tiggi about the moment where she and Fi confessed their love! Did they ask each other out? Did they just kiss? Where did it happen!?

Also: How did Kal Skirata and Vau react to their relationship??

[Maybe you already told me! Sorry! I forgot, hehe XD]

Tiggi: That was the craziest evening in my life. Everything happend in Qibbu's Hut on Coruscant. It almost ended with me killing Fi and Kal killing me for that.

I think Fi began to feel jealous when he saw me playing a quetarra and singing with Mereel. And because I instantly befriended Corr and took care of him and used my contacts to help him get better prosthesis... I guess that motivated Fi to just come straight to me in front of everyone and confess his love to me. I said that I'm sorry but I don't feel the same towards him.

That was a lie. It was a torture to see how my answer broke Fi's heart but at that point I wasn't ready to be in another relationship. What happend when I was a teenager... It left too deep scars.

So he went to his room and I left through a window. I sat on the ledge of the buillding wondering how long I would be falling down the Coruscant's canyon if I tied my wings. After a while Fi joined me there. As I learned later Etain and Darman motivated him to try again. This attempt didn't last long because Kal got mad at Fi for risking his life like this and told him to come back inside. While coming back Fi fell down.

It all happend so fast I don't remember the moment I jumped after him. He was too heavy for me to lift him up but I managed to slow down his fall and drag him to the window on lower level of Qibbu's Hut. My wings hurt a lot but at least he was safe.

We were sitting on the floor heavy breathing when he asked: ,,Why did you save me? I thought you don't love me..." ,,Of course I love you, you di'kut!" I answered and explained why I can't be with him. I thought he will still try to make me change my mind but he didn't. He thought over my words and said that he understands. That he wants to beat the osik out of the guy that hurt me. And that we can still be friends if I want. And that he will wait until, maybe, oneday I'll feel ready. And he smiled but so so sadly. And he started leaving. Something broke inside me. I didn't want him to leave. And guess what? I changed my mind. I decided to give him a chance. Fi probably should say that he doesn't want me anymore after all of this but he just exploded with happiness. He grabbed me in his arms and started spinning around.

The moment was ruined by Ordo and furious Kal finally finding us. Skirata yelled at both of us for what we did but for some reason let me be Fi's girlfriend. But he gave me the Second Big Talk with bonus about what will happen to me if I ever dare to hurt Fi.

So yeah... That's how it was. As for Vau reaction, he just said with raised eyebrow: ,,Kids nowadays have really strange ways to confess love".

[kungfuslipper]

Weird Writing Asks: 1, 25, 32 :)

Hey Biccy!

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

*checks docs*

... I write in Arial because it's the default setting lol. I only care that it's sans serif, so easier on my eyes. I like Georgia or Cambria for poetry. Now that I'm thinking about this I'm probably going to go on an hour long study of fonts and learn all the hyper-specific differences between them.

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

I feel like the correct answer to this question is that there aren't any -- stories I write are almost always based upon hyper-specific details about my characters. Everything about them is relevant.

However, this could be a misperception on my part.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

I love this question, so I'm going to offer one (or two) of each.

"You’ll have everything you need, whatever you want, except one thing — home.”

Republic Commando: Hard Contact

Karen Traviss, pg 35

This is the line that sold me on the Republic Commando novels --what Darman was thinking about life in the GAR as a clone.

This line perfectly captures the irony of military life. The relentless smothering sadness of non-places. The emptiness of the structure framing your duty. The longing for what you're always searching for, but cannot find.

A second line from Hard Contact that has stayed with me:

(Darman) His discipline was his self-esteem. He was a professional. He still thought about that uj cake, though. “Come on, get moving,” he said, very tired of the absence of comrades’ voices and seeking comfort in his own. He would be his commanding officer, just to stay sharp. “Shift it.”

Traviss, Karen. Hard Contact: Star Wars Legends (Republic Commando) (Star Wars: Republic Commando Book 1) (p. 81). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

When you've got nobody else, you've still got you. The grit he shows here speaks to me. This is extremely relatable because it's how I've learned to get through the hardest times. Imagine you are the strongest person you know -- become that person.

"His discipline was his self esteem."

I don't think I had seen the foundations of my personality and the indoctrination that lurked underneath it shouting at me so efficiently before.

...

Now for fics, here's a couple lines that left lasting impressions.

From "they also serve who watch and wait" by @tiend. First of your fics I'd read.

(Captain Keele to a Twi'lek postgrad student on a dig) “We died so Cham Syndulla’s men could get away,” he told her that night, standing in his own cleaned and pedestalled corpse, ready to be slid into the bag for transport to the autopsy tent in the morning. “We did our duty. Do you know - was it enough?"

I have nothing to say about this. Nothing I can say.

Now a section from Terms of Engagement :))

“Whoa. Save the bad-cop act for the dancer.”

“No.” Sev squeezed Fi’s wrists into one hand and pulled the binders from his pocket with the other, flicking them open. He clasped them—eloquently, he hoped—around Fi’s bare forearms. “I think you need to see it, too.”

Only Sev could handcuff someone eloquently.

...

It was like he’d emptied his clip into a chasm. Unsure if he'd hit anything. Achieving little except to reveal his position, exposed and thin against the horizon.

Fi didn’t say a word.

Time stretched. 

Sev didn’t know what to do, like the akk that caught the proverbial speeder. Eventually, he just rocked up gently against Fi’s backside, so he could feel that hard interest that Sev desperately wanted to hide somewhere. 

Beneath him, Fi softened a little. “Oh, Sev ... you’re impossible.”

Sev didn’t care about possibilities or probabilities just then. The certainty he wanted—that Fi hadn’t done this with anyone else—bothered him enough. Fi shifted his weight a fraction, just enough to slot Sev’s fat cock into the trench beneath his sweats ...

Your Sevfika stole my heart from day one. Fucking excellent, unforgettable scene. The visual at the end here, "slotting ... into the trench beneath his sweats" is wordplay that burned this visual into my brain forever. (Some day if I can find an adequate reference(s) I'll attempt to draw it.)

Ok, onto poetry. Going to be shameless here and offer a couple of my own lines.

It took a while to understand that even a grisly place is a place.

From my own long term healing process, unlearning dissociation, what I realized was that fearing your own emptiness is worse than what you originally feared. You can't fix this about yourself, at least not how and when you want to, so the only way forward is to accept the barren landscape that's full of nothing but howling wind and strewn weapons.

I craned over the seat to see out the window. 7 am, day was dawning over Madrid. It crept its fingers through that half-shuttered portal. Ever since then I’ve known that a sunrise is enough reason to be alive.

There have been a few salient moments in my life. This was one.

From a poem by Madisen Kuhn

Eager for the days to grow shorter, the sharpness of a blue morning, something like a beginning.

Just how Autumn feels.

Finally, a quote from Erin Bow.

No writing is wasted: the words you can't put in your book can wash the floor, live in the soil, lurk around in the air. They will make the next words better.

Weird questions for writers

[vodika-vibes]

Hi.

💕Congratulations on your follower event.💕

Can I please have Darman with fem reader? Pansy & Ambrosia. Reader admitting that even though they have been friends for a long time her feelings have changed when he begins to occupy her thoughts especially when he’s on missions. She realizes she’s in love with him and confesses it to him. He admits that he feels the same way.

Soft, sweet turns into hot and sexy.

Please & Thank you🥰

A Confession

Summary: You recently learned that you had a crush on Darman...and it's causing you no small amount of distress.

Pairing: Darman Skirata x F!Reader

Word Count: 1216

Warnings: Spicy-ish?

Prompts: Pansy - You occupy my thoughts, Ambrosia - Love is reciprocated

Tagging:@n0vqni

A/N: Sorry that this took so long! It's been sitting, half finished, for over a week now, but I think I'm happy with it now!

You like to think that you’re a reasonable person.

You don’t jump to conclusions, and you’re pretty calm and relaxed about most things.

It’s worked out in your favor, in regards to most things. You got your job because you’re so unflappable, and you were quickly promoted because people just can’t get under your skin.

But, recently, you’ve found yourself slightly…unsettled.

At first, it didn’t bother you overly much.

Darman is your friend, and it’s only natural for you to be worried when he gets deployed. He’s a soldier, it’s natural for you to think about him and to worry about him.

But, as time goes on, you start to realize that Darman is always on your mind.

You start looking at the world through the lens of, “this is funny, I should send the link to Dar” and “this is really good food, I should bring Dar here the next time he has some free time”.

Even then, though, you weren’t overly concerned until you made a comment to your mother late one evening while you were sharing a glass of wine with her, and she grinned at you and told you that it was adorable that you had a crush on him.

And it’s probably the worst thing she’s ever said to you in your life, because now the thought is living rent free in your mind, and it’s starting to bother you.

You fold your arms over your chest and you glower at your datapad. This is all your mother’s fault. If she hadn’t said that silly thing to you, then you wouldn’t be obsessing over your feelings, and everything would be fine.

“Ah! There you are!”

You lift your head when you hear a familiar voice, and a bright smile crosses your face when you see Darman heading towards you. He has a broad grin on his face, clearly thrilled to see you.

“Darman,” You slide your datapad into your bag and stand to circle the table to welcome him back with a hug, a startled laugh falling from your lips as he sweeps you into a bone crushing hug, and spins you around, “Welcome back!”

He releases you and drapes himself in the chair next to you, “It’s been ages, mesh’la!” Darman says dramatically.

“It’s been two months.”

“Two months of forever.”

You laugh, and rest your cheek on the palm of your hand, “You’re so dramatic, Dar.”

He flashes an unrepentant grin, “Yeah, well, I missed you. And you stopped comming me, so I was worried.”

“Ah, sorry about that. My mom said something to me, and it bothered me.”

“You?” His eyebrows shoot, “Wow. For something to bother you, it must be pretty serious. What’d she say?”

You shake your head, “It’s not important.”

“Come on, mesh’la,” He leans on the table so that he’s closer to you, “It’s me. And if it’s bothering you this much, then you should share it. A problem shared and all.”

You sigh softly, “Alright. Well…it’s about you.”

Darman blinks at you, and then he frowns, “Ah.” He leans back, “You know, mesh’la, lots of people aren’t the biggest fans of clones. It doesn’t bother me, so you shouldn’t let it bother you.”

It’s your turn to blink at him in confusion, “I…oh! No. Not like that!”

“Then what’s the problem? Does she think I’m a bad influence on her perfect daughter?” 

“I’m hardly perfect, and no. It’s not that either.”

“Well, then I’m at a loss.” He leans back and folds his arms over his chest, “So, what is the problem then?”

“Ah…well…” You trail off, “It’s silly, really.”

“Tell me anyway.”

“Mother seems to think that I have a crush on you,” You say, very quickly, without looking at him, “And…the more I think about it…the more I think that, maybe, she might be right.”

Darman is silent, and you take a chance to look at him. His eyes are wide and his jaw is dropped. 

Right, well, in for a credit, or so they say.

“I mean,” You hasten to continue, since he doesn’t seem to be willing to reply, “I’m always thinking about you. And it’s stupid things. Like I went to a new cafe and I saw that they had a ridiculous caramel caf and I couldn’t help but think that you might like it.”

He’s still staring at you like he’s never seen you before, a broad grin spreading across his face.

“And…and I worry about you constantly and I want you here…with me, rather than anywhere else.” You ramble, “And…and…and will you stop staring at me and say something?!”

“Well, I was thinking that I would let you keep rambling.” Darman replies, “It’s not like you to get so rattled, and the fact that you’re rattled because of me is kind of flattering.”

“If you’re just going to make fun of me, then I’m going to leave.”

He reaches out and takes your hands in his, “I’m not making fun of you.” Darman replies, “I’m…” He pauses and then laughs, “I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy in all of my life.”

“Happy?”

“I’ve been flirting with you for months.” Darman points out, “I was beginning to worry that you just weren’t interested in romance at all.” He releases your hand and brings his hand up to cup your face, “Except, it’s a little more than a crush for me.”

“A little more?”

“Mm. I’m in love with you.”

“Oh.” You squeak out the word, and he chuckles, before he pulls you to your feet, and presses your bag into your hand.

“Come with me, mesh’la.”

Darman hurries you away from the outdoor cafe where you like to do your work, and through the crowded streets. He’s practically crowding you, but you don’t mind. 

You don’t mind when he encourages you back to your apartment building. And you don’t mind when he presses himself against your back as you open the door.

You don’t mind when he all but shoves you into your apartment.

And you really don’t mind when he crashes his lips against yours, in a deep, hungry kiss, as though he’s been starving for your touch.

“I love you,” He gasps against your lips as he tosses your bag onto the floor, and slides his hands under your shirt, “If this is a kriffing dream then I never want to wake up.”

You tangle your fingers in his hair, and lightly nip his bottom lip, “Not a dream.” You murmur, “This is very, very real.”

A low curse falls from Darman as he leans heavily against you, “Living room? Bedroom?”

“I don’t care. Just pick one.” You say between increasingly heated kisses.

He laughs, “I love you, and how chill you are.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You smile shyly, “I love you too.”

Darman’s hands pause from where they’re quickly trying to divest you of your shirt, and a blinding grin crosses his face, “Do you?”

“Yeah. I do.” And then you squeak when he crashes his lips against yours roughly enough that you nearly stumble back against the door. 

His passion is contagious, and you know that there’s no way that you’re going to be leaving the house for the next day, if he has his way.

Good thing you don’t actually mind.

[clonewarslover55]

Republic Commando Masterlist

Find my masterlist of links here! 

Non-Repcomm clone masterlist here!

Began: originally  6/16/20

Updated: 3/19/23

Walon Vau and Mird 

(Find my works with him and my OC on my AO3 or on their own masterlist here!)

Walon Vau’s early life story

Walon Vau’s homeworld, Irmenu.

Walon Vau weapon headcanons

How Jango and Vau bonded //Working on now//

How Vau joined the Mandalorians //Working on now//

Walon Vau taking care of Kad 

Reasons why I love Vau 

Even Strill’s throw hissy fits 

Walon Vau face claim //Maybe//

How Tall is Vau?

Vau’s eyes 

Walon Vau’s cock headcanons //NSFW//

Another lesson from Sergeant Vau

Warming you up. Walon Vau X Fem!Reader //SMUT//

Mandalorians don’t fight fairly

A cold grab on Kal and Walon

Drunken fun with Walon and Kal 

Walon Vau and Kal Skirata hate sex //NSFW obv//

Kal Skirata 

Kal Skirata face claim

Kal Skirata height discussion 

Kal Skirata’s cock headcanons //NSFW//

Spending the day with Kal Skirata  Kal X Reader //Fluff//

Kal Skirata wears glasses

Kal Skirata and his IKEA foldable stool //Six parts all linked//

Mandalorians don’t fight fairly

A cold grab on Kal and Walon

Drunken fun with Walon and Kal

Walon Vau and Kal Skirata hate sex //NSFW obv//

Delta Squad and Advisor 

Advisor relationship headcanons //NSFW and SFW//

Delta squad relationship headcanons //NSFW and SFW//

Delta squad personalities explained 

What the Delta Squad looks like headcanons

The Delta Squad Boys as fathers headcanons

Delta Squad chaos: Lord Mirdalin

Delta Squad Chaos: Gossip

Tales around the fire with the Delta’s, Omega’s and Null’s  //Adult content//

Snow day snuggles with Scorch

The curious young Delta’s

Sev’s first time being pegged //NSFW//Sev X Fem!Reader

Fixer’s first time being pegged //NSFW// Fixer X Fem!Reader 

Boss’s first time being pegged //NSFW// Boss X Fem!Reader

Scorch’s first time being pegged (Currently being discussed)

Fingering Boss. Boss X GN!Reader //NSFW//

Rescue mission

Another lesson from Sergeant Vau

Calming Sev down while he’s having a panic attack //FLUFF//

Sev asking for more babies

Boss’s punishment //NSFW//’

Having a secret marriage with Scorch headcanons

Dad!Sev Headcanons

Fixer X Fem!Reader  //SMUT//

Boss X Fem!Reader !NSFW! //Part two// //Part three//

Fixer X Reader

Fixer is sweet and awkard //Fixer X Reader//

Fixer X Fem!Reader !!NSFW!!

Fluffy Sev X reader 

Scorch X Fem!Reader !NSFW!

Sev X Curvy!Busty!Fem!Reader !NSFW!

Scorch Angst

Delta Squads biggest fans. Part one 

Omega Squad 

Omega squad relationship headcanons

Omega Squad personalities explained

Fi comforting the reader after a horrible week

Oral sex and pillow talk with Fi //NSFW and FLUFF//

Story time with Darman Skirata

Kids are chaotic! Darman and Etain fluff

Stress relief. Niner X Fem!Reader //SMUT//

Null ARC’s 

Null realtionship headcanons //NSFW and SFW//

The Null’s with kids Headcanons

Breakfast with the Null’s

Null Chaos! Starring petty brother things

Null Chaos! Starring Jaing’s new gloves

Null Chaos! starring A’den

Welcome home sex with A'den. A'den X Fem!Reader //SMUT//

Teaching Ordo. Captain Ordo X Fem!Reader //SMUT//

Sleepy Kom’rk cuddles

Hooking up with Mereel //SMUT//

Kom’rk blurb

Being Marked up by Mereel //SMUT//

A teasing game with Mereel //NSFW//

Singing with A’den

Mereel X Non!Mando Trans!Fem reader!!

Alpha Arc’s from the books 

Sull(Alpha-30) Relationship and general headcanons

Captain Maze general headcanons

Maze and his new baby

[leias-left-hair-bun-again]

Same Anon who talked about the mando husbands my question is what do you think of etain from republic commando I love her and dar so much

oh oH what a good question :DDD what do i think of her? i adore her, etain is the most precious girl and i just love that we get to see so much of the first two books through the eyes of someone who cares as much as she does. i mean she's the most nurturing person but at the same time she's as fierce and fiery as they come when anyone she cares about gets hurt.

she's just. she's so passionate about helping others and giving them a good life, and as a character she's really well done in that - both her best and worst mistakes and choices are born from that passion of hers. it can make her idealistic and short-sighted, but you can't help but love her anyways cause you know her heart's in the very best of places. and everyone around her knows that too <3 as they ought <3

also i think that, again, as a character she's very well positioned next to kal cause he's older and more experienced and knows a little better how to direct that desperate, protective need to help, but he messes up just as she does sometimes, and gosh i wish she'd had a happier ending, cause kal definitely sees something of himself in her and both loves her for it and hopes she'll be better than him, as any parent would hope. she and darman and kad and kal would have been the happiest little family and - i can't go there it's too sad D:

but yes, oh yes i love etain (': and dar!! they are a very sweet couple, they start out so hopeful and bright-eyed for all the darkness they've both already seen in their short lives, and it hurts to watch them grow up together, but they're so perfect for each other at every step of the way. they live rent-free in my head in a happy ending au where absolutely nothing bad happened to either of them and darman gets to spend lots of time at home between missions playing soldier with kad and catching beetles with him, and etain takes kad outside and teaches him how to feel the force in all the crops on the farm and the forest surrounding the compound. and etain and darman get to spend lots of evenings cooking together and exchanging stories and just sitting together in luxurious silence and - well, they deserve the whole galaxy and i wish they’d gotten it!

[din-djarins-riduur]

Republic Commando Series | - Karen Traviss

Oh man what a story, what a beautifully written and detailed story. I can’t truly describe what I’m feeling right now. It was such a roller coaster of emotions and I really felt like I was there in the middle of it all. If you haven’t read the Republic Commando books yet I STRONGLY encourage you to read them. I was putting it off for so long and would always look at them in the book store but I never felt the need to read a “legends” story but my gosh how wrong I was but also how grateful am I to have read it as an adult with a better understanding of the world and of Star Wars and Mandalorians in general. If you love Mandalorians like I do and relate to their lifestyle and love the clones, family, loyalty, marriage and children then these books are for you.

It definitely takes on a different route than the canon Order 66 that we see in Star Wars the Clone Wars, but it works even then. In these books the reader will get a complete and intimate view of the clones and how they were raised and trained, how they desire love and something more in life, and how they feel about being a part of an army they didn’t ask to be created for. You’ll be introduced to wonderful men and women who you’ll come to love with such a grip and want nothing but the best for. Your eyes will be opened to the faults of the Republic and Jedi Order and you’ll get a much more mature and intense picture of the war. I love the Clone Wars series that Dave Filoni gifted us, but think of these books as the rated R version of Clone Wars, something I believe most would appreciate and enjoy.

Unfortunately, the last and final book in the series was never finished and as heart breaking as it is, the author at least showed mercy on the fans and told them what she had planned for the final book. It was so hard to read the last few pages of this series. I didn’t want it to end and I’m crying a bit even now writing this, but I promise you as a Star Wars fan, this series will change everything for you and have you seeing things in a total different way. So please, give Darman, Niner, Fi, Atin, the Null-Arcs, Delta Squad, Kal, Vau, Jusik, Etain and all the other brilliant men and women in this story a chance.

Much love to you ner vode.

UPDATE ! Found a really good fanfiction that I’m currently reading that finishes this story essentially. The writing is super close to that of Karen Traviss and the characters still feel true to how they’ve been portrayed all this time. The story is also based off the unfinished plot that the original author left behind to the public. Here is a link to it ! I’m on chapter 5 out of 30 !!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33290875/chapters/82664866

[clonehub]

why shouldnt people read the repubilc commandos?

For one thing, the author Karen Traviss is super right wing and a massive transphobe. You can see that on her twitter, but also (to me) she’s just not a good writer.

In the books (no spoilers) the way she writes the main female character, Etain, is so steeped in misogyny that I’m amazed anyone can say that her arc was enjoyable at all. Besany is another character that gets the Misogynistic Touch, although to a lesser degree. From off the top of my head:

female characters get more violent deaths than male ones

there’s at least one “I’m not like other girls” female character but I dont remember who

definitely a line like “in traditional mando society the women cook and take care of the house and feminist ladies on corsuscant would hate this but that’s just the way it is” like writing it out its so goofy that I’m hoping im remembering it super wrong but like. damn lmao

author is obsessed with writing “I can kill a woman i have no qualms about killing women sometimes the job just requires that I kill women gender doesn’t matter to me” in one or two of her male POVs

Kal Skirata is not a good father. The narrative keeps propping him up as one, but he’s not. He’s fucking evil lmao idc what anyone says.

She sneaks in the t-slur twice in the first book to refer to a trandoshan. The correct shortened term is Trando, not the t-slur. 

Spoilers:

Kal is evil because he kept going on and on about how he wanted his clone sons to have a “real” life (read: settle down and get heterosexually married and have kids, which he himself only semi successfully did) until Darman (in love with Etain) gets her pregnant, then Kal turns on Etain, accuses her of leading his son astray or some bullshit, then places her in an active warzone as punishment for getting pregnant. She starts to miscarry and nearly loses her fucking child. He doesn’t apologize.

Their entire relationship is trash. Etain is obsessed with Kal as some weird father figure, meanwhile he doesn’t give a shit about her and forcibly adopts her child while also lying to his son about the fact that his wife got fucking pregnant and had a whole ass baby. 

I don’t remember as much about Besany, but I do know that she was written really weirdly as well because she’s like that stereotypical drop dead tall leggy blonde that all the men just fall over and Ordo is like. threatened by her beauty (they date anyways).