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ronearoundblindly · 1 year

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Time and Tines (1/3)

Plans (see series)

Steve Rogers x Villain!Reader for @sweeterthanthis's Bittersweet Symphony Writing Challenge

Can’t change the way we are, One kiss away from killing. —Bishop Briggs, River

Summary: Steve meets the mysterious woman staring at him from across the room.

Warnings for vague injuries, mention of needles, manipulation/brainwashing, SEMI-DARK fic (like I've read worse but it ain't sunny, folks). MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY. This work has heavy themes unsuitable for minors. There is plenty else to read on my Light Masterlist if this is not your cup of tea! WC 3.6k

The event isn’t overly loud, but the lights are lower and he is surrounded by people. Steve isn’t fond of crowds, not when he’s not working, not when the event is actually meant to be fun for him. He isn’t Captain America right now. He isn’t the center of attention. He isn’t bothering to mingle. Instead, he’s chosen to humor a long-winded medical rant from the Avenger’s resident doctor of the past half-year.

Salvatore Avani enlightens Steve on several ways he can assess and replicate Erskine’s serum without taking a drop of any super soldier’s blood. It would be an interesting project if Steve hadn’t heard it all before, over and over, from every hopeful doctor and scientist to cross his path. At least Steve gets to be out of his suit for a while and…in another suit, though this one is significantly more forgiving to his stance and skin.

“You see, Captain, your strength can be wielded for so much more than fighting. It could give safety and security to people working unmechanizable jobs,” Dr. Avani points out.

“Not sure that’s a word, sir, but I understand.” Steve swirls whisky around in his tumbler, ice long melted, and wishes—not for the first time—that alcohol still had an effect on him. “A certain amount of modernization does protect those same workers from danger…and no one had to be dosed with anything,” he concludes before emptying the glass in hand.

As Avani opens his mouth to retort, a weight lands on Steve’s shoulder.

“Sorry, Doc,” Bucky interrupts, “just a quick word.”

“Of course, gentlemen.” The doctor turns back around to the bar to order himself another cocktail.

Bucky leans to whisper in Steve’s ear.

“So, punk, we got a situation at three o’clock.”

His whole body tenses, which doesn’t look all that different because Steve has excellent posture, but he deposits the finished glass on the counter and looks over his right shoulder past his friend.

Eyes. Intense and focused eyes meet his before darting down. A few people meander in the space between but you’re all Steve can see for a long moment.

“There it is,” Bucky mutters in recognition.

“Did you just make me look at a dame across the room?” Steve runs a hand over his freshly shaven law and hisses. “Jerk.”

“Uh, that dame’s been staring at you for a solid twenty minutes, but you weren’t noticing. You’re welcome.”

Steve lowers his head, suppressing a grin as best he can and glancing again to his right.

You’ve turned away. You’re fiddling with a glass of clear, bubbly liquid. Vodka soda? Gin and tonic? Those are Steve’s first guesses, but he can’t tell which since both lemon and lime wedges float above the ice.

“Two of whatever she is having,” Bucky asks the bartender helpfully, clapping a pat of encouragement on Steve’s back.

The man behind the bar gives a quizzical look and then shrugs.

Buck winks at him as Steve heads for your high-top table. No one else stands around you. No rings on the hand beside your drink. No way you don’t know he’s coming over even with your eyes down.

“Hi, mind if I join you?”

You smile without looking up. “Only if you brought gifts.” Your voice is small, a little shyer than Steve would expect from someone brazen enough to watch him that long from afar, but he sets his offering on the table anyway.

“I do,” he replies softly, matching your tone, “although what it is is a mystery to me.”

Still smiling, you drain your original glass quickly and confess, “Sierra Mist.”

Steve sucks air through pearly white teeth. “Yikes. More of a 7-Up man myself.”

“Go figure. Captain America has brand loyalty.”

He fails to stop the burst of laughter punched from his chest. It doesn’t scare you though. He’s actually pleased it seems to relax you. He sets his own hand on the table approximately an inch from yours.

“Touché.”

A faint tremor rolls through that hand but stops after you make a fist and release it.

Steve just starts saying random things that come to mind, and shockingly, it works.

Conversation flows for while as he notices that your dress straps don’t stay put very well and there is a barely visible seam at your hairline. Why you would need to wear a wig, he has no idea. He finds himself almost compelled to say your natural hair is perfect, just like you.

And this is why Steve doesn’t let himself out much.

During one comment regarding the other guests, he sneaks a peek over at Bucky—still beside Avani—and is flashed a thumbs up which he immediately hopes you did not see.

Chatting continues.

Steve isn’t a good flirt, but it seems he’s getting lucky with little lines tonight. He’s willing to push his luck.

“Well, after all this sweetness, maybe we should dance off some energy.” Yet sugar, like alcohol, has no discernible effect on Steve Rogers.

“Oh, no. That’s not necessary. I’m a miserable dancer.” You lift your bejeweled clutch up alongside your lemon-lime soda. “Besides how would I carry it all?”

“Well, if they’d make dresses with fuller skirts like they used to,” Steve teases, pushing his half-full glass aside, “you wouldn’t have that problem. The world regressed that way. Real shame.”

“Not a fan of form-fitting gowns?” you cock your head with wide eyes.

Steve’s gaze snaps to his shoes, hoping to choke off the heat rising in his cheeks. It only chokes his words. “Oh, oh god, no. They’re lovely. I meant, ya know, pockets and…I just—I didn’t want anything to stop you.“

“Me neither.”

You take him in with warm assessment and one last evaluation of the room, tucking your lip between your teeth briefly. “You’re in luck,” you add with a laugh. “I’m about to blow your mind, Captain.”

He watches you open the clasp, fish around inside the tiny bag—barely an envelope, really, but Steve learned from Natasha that ladies can hold a scary amount in those things,— and pull out a silvery length like a party trick from the minuscule confines. The new strap allows you to toss the purse over your shoulder.

You present the transformation like it’s a superpower.

“Nifty,” Steve coos.

You nod an acceptance of his awe. “I am nothing if not prepared.”

“And now—“ he offers his hand again “—out of excuses. Bucky tells me I am ‘a sight to behold’ and not in a good way. Shall we prove him right in solidarity?”

You head to the open floor, guided by Steve’s lead. “Not gonna try to prove him wrong?”

He swings you around to face him. “How would I always win as Cap if I bet like that?”

You hum while Steve settles a hand over the satin at your waist. “Picking your battles, huh?” Free and delicate hands land at his shoulders before one smooths down his sleeve, your eyes never leaving his. “And I’m a fight waiting to happen?”

He gets lost for a few bars until he shows his true colors and winces.

“Well, my toes are fighting with yours, clearly.”

But you simply laugh.

Steve’s brain turns over the steps and his apologies and then finally lands on a good line way after the fact. “Or, no, wait, I’ve got it now.” He squares his shoulders a little more and deepens his voice, comically.

“You’re worth fighting for.”

The snort huffed in his face is perfect, the grin that splits your painted lips over shiny white teeth blinding and well worth his efforts.

“Oh wow. See!” He earns a featherlight slap to the chest. “You do have your charming moments, Captain Rogers.”

“Steve, please—“ he fakes leading you off the floor “—and could we go repeat that in front of—“

“—the extremely grumpy man gripping a beer bottle?” Your sights land across the room toward the bar. “I don’t know, Steve. Your critic looks pretty…something.”

Steve frowns when he sees Bucky. As his friend speaks with Dr. Avani, Bucky’s face pinches solid as stone, overly serious beside the doctor’s casual body language. Buck indeed looks pissed for no reason.

Steve squints in apology. “He’s not—that’s just—I promise he’s not like that—“

Where’s that teasing joy from a minute ago?

He contemplates that still when your hands release him, and his focus snaps back.

“I need to use the ladies’ room anyway,” you shrug, rubbing a palm up and down your bare arm.

“And then fireworks?” Steve inserts hopefully, almost removing his suit jacket right then to drape over your shoulders. He sounds like an excited schoolboy, and he’s again glad that Bucky is far enough away not to know how obvious he’s being.

You smile, a graceful tug at the dark, matte lipstick sculpted over your full—Rogers. Then a little nod is all you offer before turning to the hall, bag bouncing at your hip on its magic chain.

Steve watches you go, meandering over to Bucky while glancing in your last known direction, until his friend grunts to get his attention.

Avani is gone, but Buck’s face remains sour.

“What on earth did Doc say? Some intel for a mission?” Steve’s only half-curious and fully-distracted though.

His friend just waves off the mood. “Where’s your girl?”

“She’s not…” Steve shakes his head.

“Fine. Where’s your girl for the night?” Bucky raises one eyebrow.

“You know that sounds even worse now than it did back then, right?”

“Well?” Bucky looks around inquisitively.

“Powder her nose—” Steve smirks with rosy cheeks “—then watching the light show.”

He gets a solid smack between his shoulders and a proud nod.

Steve tries to remain patient, he really does, but after a few minutes and nearly every guest settled into their own viewing spot across the long balcony, he checks back over his shoulder.

Nothing.

He excuses himself from Bucky’s side and wanders toward the hallway.

Yes, he knows he’ll look too interested and a bit stalker-esque, but he doesn’t want to miss the show—he doesn’t want you to miss the show with him. There’s gonna be this beautiful display in the sky and you’ll be engrossed enough that he can just look at the changing colors glow across your…

What?!

Around one corner of the wall, Steve sees a foot, one shiny, brown men’s dress shoe, and then another. Someone’s kneeling—shaking if rolling toes are any indication—and then there you are standing over him.

“Doctor Avani?” Steve croaks, watching you raise a syringe and needle high over the man’s head.

You ignore Steve’s arrival.

The doctor’s eyes don’t break from you as he shrieks, “Captain, she’s mad. She—“

“How dare you? Bastard,” you bite out, heaving your weapon at the doctor’s exposed throat as Steve lunges forward.

It punctures the thick, luxurious navy fabric of Steve’s suit, and he feels the slight swelling pressure of liquid entering his forearm.

You release your grip, eyes wild and teeth bared. Gone is the sweet and serene woman with whom he shared a drink and danced.

The syringe stays lodged in Steve’s flesh as he pushes the doctor aside to shield him, but it’s too late for you.

Bucky followed behind him and now wraps your arms behind your back while you struggle to inch toward Avani, spitting insults.

“What was it?” Bucky demands. “What’s in there? What poison?”

Steve rips the needle out, checking it for any clues.

With a scowl, your fierce gaze stays on the doctor.

“Ask him. It’s his brand of suffering.”

Steve watches behind the two-way mirror for a while, deciding how to approach you. After chatting with you for the better part of an hour at the event, he still knows absolutely nothing about you. Every single piece of your preliminary file is news to him. He has to start from scratch, which is, ironically, what you are trying to do to the seam of your wig when he finally enters the interrogation room.

“Tea or water?” Steve sets down the cups.

You stop fidgeting for a beat. “Water is fine. Thank you.”

Polite. You stabbed him with a needle, injected him with an unknown substance, and you’re polite about it? He doesn’t understand the nonchalance. If you meant to kill Dr. Avani, then why aren’t you upset that you failed?

With your hands cuffed and the chain laced through a handlebar built into the table, it’s an awkward strain on your neck. You shove your shoulder high and pulse your head back and forth. Your wrists are thin, thin enough that one good, hard pull might actually snap one.

Polite and uncomfortable. Steve figures showing some courtesy might loosen your tongue.

He unlocks the cuffs and places the water in easy reach, keeping the tea for himself.

He sits and you sip. It’s peaceful when it shouldn’t be.

Avani has no clue who you are or what you want, but Steve couldn’t get many answers during the chaos that ensued after your attack. His own heart rate skyrocketed for a few minutes before normalizing. Otherwise, he’s fine.

He tilts the tea in your direction.

“Here’s hoping you didn’t waste truth serum on me,” he cheers. “Might be the only drug completely useless both after and before Erskine’s formula.”

You’re amused, a smirk lifting fading, dark lips. “Ah yes. Good, honest Captain America.”

“To a fault.”

“No.” Your seriousness stops him cold, and Steve’s smile fades. “It’s not a fault. You’re just rare.”

You value honesty. He can work with that.

“Is that why you chose a drug specifically for the doctor? You didn’t want to harm anyone else, even by accident?”

That shuts you down instead. Steve’s jumped too far, too fast. He’s not allowed to use the same easy tone as before this mess. Maybe he should have found some 7Up…

Silence descends until broken by your heavy swallows of water.

You’re staring down at your reflection in the table’s surface.

“I love stainless steel,” you mutter to no one in particular. “It’s like diffusion. I almost look normal.”

“You mean because you look different?” Steve pulls out your ID found in that small purse. “Why don’t you look ‘normal?’”

You shrug, finally dislodging the precarious strap and it dangles down your arm. “Lost weight.”

“And the hair?”

He was right. Your natural hair in the photo is beautiful. Why the hell are you wearing a wig? If it were obscuring your identity, he imagines you would know not to carry around a real ID.

“Time” is your only answer.

You’re skirting around the truth, lying by omission, waiting for the exact right questions which Steve doesn’t know yet, so he asks something for peace of mind, something that will tell him how long to play this game. “Are you gonna be honest with me?”

Your answer comes easily enough. “Are you gonna be helpful to me?”

Simple. Straightforward. Cutting. It’s said with sorrowful eyes.

He can’t promise anything when he doesn’t know why. “If your purpose is to kill a man then, no, I can’t help you with that.”

Your empty cup lands on the table with a light tonk.

“Maybe I’ll wait until someone who can help walks through that door.”

“In this situation, I believe I’m what’s known as the ‘good cop,’” Steve sighs. “Don’t think you want to dance with the ‘bad cop.’ He’s pretty annoyed he didn’t peg you for an assailant first.”

Nothing about your demeanor changes, not a flinch, not a blink. “Good thing I don’t want to dance with him.”

“He’s not much of a talker either. I’d be a better—“

“I didn’t say I’d talk to him either.”

Steve leans on his elbows, splaying wide across the table. “Just tell me your story. I am here to listen.”

“That makes this sound like a first date.”

“Bucky would likely agree—“ he snorts “—and he’d make a point to say this is going about as well as any date I’ve been on this century. Please,” Steve tries again, “ talk to me.”

There’s a long pause. Your intense gaze remains steady. Whatever your reasons, they don’t strain your moral fortitude. You are a believer, faithful to this unknown cause.

Carefully, quietly, you respond. “It’s not my story to tell. Ask your doctor.”

“If it’s not your story, where are the others? Can they tell it? Are they alive?”

Steve is more perceptive than you counted on judging by your slight head shake.

You flop yourself backward in the seat.

Steve was right. It’s not a what you act for, it’s a who. And they are dead.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” he says earnestly.

This—that simple sentiment—gets the greatest reaction so far. Your lip twitches, and you shimmy against the hard chair. You scratch at your wig again, before your focus returns to the table. There are tears welling in your eyes.

No one has said that before now, he realizes. How long has it been since they passed? Why are you the only mourner? Why aren’t you moving on?

Suddenly, irritation stirs in Steve, and he can’t believe how stubborn you’re being when he is your best option. He is the only one that will have this soft spot for you, the only one who truly wants to help because he truly wants to know why.

“So you’re avenging,” he bursts, tossing his arms out, dramatically looking around the bland room.

Protocol dictated they take you to the nearest precinct for questioning. Only if you were enhanced, only if you had special abilities would you be transported all the way to the compound. So on his night off, while attending a party that actually entertained him for once, you’ve shown up with a syringe that doesn’t do anything and made him miss the fireworks. You’ve made him lose time being content, a rare gift in his line of work.

Steve is frustrated, to say the least. He stands to pace his side of the table.

“Avenging, huh? Gosh, I wish I knew anything about that… anyone in this building even… wherever will we find someone who understands?”

“You don’t do sarcasm very much, do you?” you snip, energy level remaining low compared to his spiked bluster. “I’d like to tell ‘bad cop’ what a terrible dancer you are now. He’s not going to be surprised you made me cry, is he? That’s probably normal, too.”

“Surprised? No.” Steve knocks on the mirror, sick of playing, sick of being wrong, sick of choosing unwisely. “How could he be when he’s been listening this whole time?”

You’re trapped, but you aren’t acting like a caged animal. Something is…off, and Steve realizes he’s too close to the situation—ridiculous as that may be—after just two hours of knowing you. His best friend will have better luck.

Bucky opens the door a few seconds later, armed to the teeth as an intimidation tactic.

It’s disconcerting that your expression brightens once a man sporting three guns and—counting the hidden few—eight knives enters the room. That’s got Steve’s attention.

“So she’s giving you trouble?” Bucky mutters.

He’s grateful Buck doesn’t go the ‘you sure can pick ‘em, Rogers’ or ‘better luck next millennium’ route. Steve shakes his head.

You itch at your wig, face twisted, and glance up at Steve.

“May I take this off?”

Still polite. The niceties are actually making his blood boil at this point because he does not get it yet.

“Fine,” he snaps, rolling his eyes when Bucky purses his lips at Steve’s tone.

“Listen, doll, I think the best course of action is to let you stew in here for a while. When you’re ready to tell us what you know, then—“

“Oh, I can tell you what I know now,” you say casually, pulling out bobby pin after bobby pin to tuck between your teeth. “I know the protocol for a low-level threat like myself is the nearest local law enforcement facility, I know that—due to an unfortunate instance of food poisoning from a birthday cake earlier today—most of this precinct is empty. I know that all three of you would prefer to incapacitate your targets rather than kill them.”

You set the little pile of pins down on the table by your undone chain, pulling a hair comb from the back of your wig to finally release it.

“There’s only two of us here,” Steve says in confusion.

“No.” You point the forked hair comb at Bucky and push yourself out of the chair. “Winter’s in there.”

Before the words can even register, you slam the tines of the tuning fork against the edge of the steel table. The noise is piercing and specific.

Steve covers his ears, but Bucky doesn’t move. He can’t turn away from you.

“Restrain him,” you order, “and get me out of here.”

“Buck, wait—“

The vibranium arm threatens to crush Steve’s windpipe as the force slides him up the mirrored wall.

The Winter Soldier’s cold, vacant grey eyes watch as Steve’s vision fades to black, and Steve wonders how the hell he could be so wrong.

Then it’s quiet and he wonders no more.

A/N: This story is a doozy, gang, but I promise, explanations are ahead!

[Next Part]

Taglist (please let me know if you want added or removed): @supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @yiiiikesmish @bucky-fricking-barnes-reads @fallinallinmendes @deandreamernp @darsynia

[Main Masterlist]

#steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #villain!reader #bittersweet symphony writing challenge #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers x you #steve rogers angst #winter soldier bucky barnes #captain america fanfiction #captain america x you #captain america x reader #captain america angst #time and tines

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chaifootsteps · 3 months

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Sallie may's valentine's day merch feels so fetishy... all but one of her merch pieces gives her a huge bulge and out of all the characters she has the most merch showing a buldge. except for blitz who has the same ammount (4 that i counted) but he has 4 others that don't give him a bulge. sallie has 5 merch pieces total but 4 out of the 5 have a bulge and only 1 that doesn't. she has more bulge merch pieces than asmodeus! the embodiment of lust! why does the single trans woman character have the highest percentage of prominent bulges in the character's merch? i know a lot of trans women don't get bottom surgery, but i highly doubt any of the merch designers are trans women. one of the designers said that sallie's VA specifically requested the bulge but like? why does that mean most of her merch needs a bulge? why doesn't she get to show off her legs or ass or back or boobs like all the other women? why so much focus on her buldge? is that what these merch designers see trans women as? just "ooooo you got a penis how sexy!!!" if there was only a couple of pieces that had the buldge i wouldn't care but it's every single piece of merch she's in except for one! it just feels like these merch designers are fetishizing the fact that a trans woman has a penis! sorry for the rant i just find sallie's merch really distasteful. it reminds me of that one artist who drew trans steve rogers with huge boobs. nobody had a problem pointing out how fetishy and gross that was but because sallie is a trans woman i guess nobody cares

Pretty much. Sallie Mae's a trans woman and voiced by one, which not only invalidates all criticism of Sallie Mae, but any and all criticism of anything Viv writes or says about trans people, past or future.

I'm not exaggerating. Point out the transphobia doc and they won't even read it, they'll just say Viv is friends with Morgana so it's impossible for her to hold any transphobic opinions ever.

#Anonymous #vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #viv stuff #actual blog post

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vvaspoppie · 7 months

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Doc Ock x Symbiote!Reader

→ Author’s Note: Requested this from another writer (that’s also really cool), and decided to also write my own version. No specified version of Ock, pre and post evil versions are mentioned.

→⚠ Warnings ⚠: unethical science,

→ Fandom: Unspecified

→ Genre: Headcanons

→ Pronouns: They/Them

The Backstory:

You were a scientist who worked on studying the organic matter samples Colonel Jameson had brought to earth. Unfortunately, one of those samples was capable of a lot more movement than originally believed.

Long story short: Some of it bonded with you, you quit soon after due to not wanting anyone to get suspicious then started working at Oscorp.

Pre Tentacles:

He, and almost every other co-worker, is a little bit curious about the fact that you quit your last job to work at Oscorp but drops the subject after the mention of an NDA (which wasn’t true)

Notices you talking to yourself a lot, but doesn’t question it much. Most of the scientists he works with have an odd habit or two.

You totally slip up and call yourself 'we' in a conversation, which he does bring up

"There's a perfectly reasonable explanation if you give me enough time to think of a lie."

On to the actual dating

You guys keep it on the down low and by that I mean absolutely nobody knows. He likes privacy

His love language is talking about his experiments and asking you about yours (and physical touch but that takes a while)

The symbiote makes the relationship difficult, especially because he doesn't know about it

You don’t ever tell him about the symbiote, the symbiote speaks for itself (literally, and to a disastrous extent)

He takes a while to process it, but once he does he shares his work on his tentacles

He tries not to think of the moral implications of the whole situation because he loves you and knows you wouldn't do harm intentionally (he is wrong)

Post Tentacles:

Ok so in most versions Otto goes missing for a brief time after the accident™

So what happens in this brief time?

Chaos. Pure chaos and fear

Not only are you distraught and angry but your symbiote also formed an emotional attachment

Absolutely no one gets a break. Criminals, civilians, co workers, Norman even Spider-Man

The streets are filled with nothing but fear and it stays like that until you get your Otto back

At which point:

Yay, evil power-couple time!

I mean what did you expect, you’re the host to a symbiote that eats people to survive and likes to commit crimes; there is almost nothing he could do that you either 1) haven’t already done or 2) had to literally fight yourself not to do

He changed after the accident, and it reminds you of when you first bonded with your symbiote. You try and be patient, knowing that he's still the same person, just with a different attitude and outlook on life.

With some communication skills being flexed, the relationship works out well

He also gains a new thing to be mad at the world about (Tabloids keep calling him a monsterfucker and so does your Symbiote)

It's that whole Roger and Jessica Rabbit thing except no one knows who's Roger or Jessica at any given moment.

You keep working at Oscorp to keep suspicions low and provide insider information

Yes, the suit makes you look very good - now do you want to be part of the Insidious Sinister Six or not?

You don’t want to fight Spider-Man head-on most of the time (much to the Symbiote's chagrin) so you agree to work with them, but not be on the team.

Anyway you end up kicking ass and now half the team is scared of you (Much to the Symbiote’s delight) (remember that episode in the 90s show were Venom Spider-Man almost kills Rhino and Shocker? Yeah you do something like that)

His ego may be nearing the size of the sun, but even then he’s slightly scared of what would happen if your symbiote gained full control. (Your symbiote likes him so his nerves are good, but still makes sure nothing happens that affects your memories)

Speaking of which he wants to do some - totally not evil because he loves you- experiments revolving around the Symbiote

Overall, the relationship is wholesome, if not unconventional.

#pop se sierskrif #doc ock x reader #otto octavius x reader #tssm x reader #doc ock #marvel x reader #x reader #symbiote reader

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leonardcohenofficial · 5 months

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Do you ship Hawkeye and Margaret?

not in any real sense of an endgame, but i do find potentiality in that relationship compelling. i think that the friendship we got to see on screen is ultimately more interesting than if the show had gone for any real romance between them, but i get why people ship them/enjoy the very few and far between actually good fics that explore what could have been. (a bit of a sidebar but had wayne rogers stuck around on the show, i think there would have been more of an established trapper and margaret arc—which we get hints at in season three—and it would have been cool to see what a houlintyre take on something like "comrades in arms" could have been.) in the early years most of the hawkeye and margaret dynamic is based on antagonism and harassment, with one of the first episodes that allows them both to have personal growth being "carry on, hawkeye" (and even then there is still plenty of both in the episode). over the years, as margaret's character gets to develop (with both positive and negative overall results imho—this is a bit of an unpopular opinion but i do actually think that a lot of the softening of her character makes her less interesting, i think she's at her most interesting when she's more complicated emotionally and morally), her relationship with hawkeye becomes less combative but is marked by a deep level of emotional connection in which they still quibble and fight, but they're not trying to tear each other down anymore.

one of the biggest missed opportunities for continuity in terms of exploring hawkeye and margaret's sexual and emotional intimacy comes in season six between "comrades in arms" and "what's up, doc?"; margaret and hawkeye are implied to have had (presumably unprotected) sex in "comrades in arms," and six episodes later, margaret has her pregnancy scare (also really interesting to me is that margaret says that she was "with donald about six weeks ago in tokyo," and "what's up, doc?" aired six weeks after "comrades in arms"). it would have been bold for 1977-1978 network television for the show to explore a main character getting another married main character pregnant—fun fact in that there was a CBS-rejected a script very early on in which hawkeye would have had to deal with the consequences of potentially getting two different nurses pregnant—but would have been interesting to see follow-up to that plotline. we get a hint of that with the "i'm glad it turned out the way you wanted it to." "so am i." "i'm also sorry." "so am i." exchange, but that would have taken on a very different weight had there been actual potential that hawkeye got her pregnant (which is something i'm interested in exploring in a fic sometime; watch this space lol).

all this to say also margaret and hawkeye are both hot and i think that shipping them is fun and if people want to write thousands of words of smut inspired by the "if i didn't hate violence, i'd kick you." "would you? with high heels?" exchange who would i be to complain?

#mash #margaret houlihan #hawkeye pierce #m*a*s*h #tv: mash #anon #good houlihawk writing is really rare but it's like the girl with the curl right in the middle of her forehead #when it's good it's very very good and when it's bad it's horrid

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davedocrogers · 7 days

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Who is Wise?

Today’s Manna in the Word:Who is wise?…It is a good question. If we are wise we would recognize the God of the Bible is who He says He is and that God is right on what He says. Who is wise?Let him understand these things.Who is prudent?Let him know them. For the ways of the Lord are right;The righteous walk in them,But transgressors stumble in them.‭Hosea 14:9 NKJV‬ God’s ways are always…

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stuckybarton · 1 year

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Sirens Call

Summary: You were just a marine scientist, but with the recent urge of the US Government to locate more Vibranium, you would have never thought that it would spell the unexpected change in your life. Character: K'uk'ulkan/Namor x Siren!Female Reader. Word Count: 6,408 (jesus christ was this long) Chapter Warnings: Black Panther Wakanda Forever Spoilers. Mention of Kidnapping, Death, Bloodshed, drowning. Possible Stockhold Syndrom. Angst. Sort of Happy Ever After. A/N: A request from @kpopgirlbtssvt, sorry for the delay. I did tweak a little on your request since i didn't want it to be too similar to the series i'm writing but i do hope you enjoy.

Also, the song included in this story is a Filipino Lullabye

Masterlist || Join the Library ( i no longer do taglist you can just turn on notif here)

Sirens Call

It has been over a year now since you have turned your life around. With the death of Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff, you had no one you could truly depend on to protect you from the government coming for you. Without Steve, and with the desolation of the Avengers, of the family you have created with them, your life of running had ended with finally agreeing to the Government's terms whether you liked it or not.

You stood on the deck of the large boat, the wind blowing through your hair and the salty smell of the ocean filling your lungs. You were a Marine Scientist before your involvement with the Avengers, now you were working for the CIA, and the current objective was to locate Vibranium that is said to be located deep beneath the oceans floors.

You had knew about the abundance of the metal in Wakanda, the durability and power it had when making weapons, Steve Rogers’ shield was an evident example of it. So it was no surprise to anyone, even for you at this point that it was an immense interest to the government. They had ignored Queen Ramonda’s warning of staying away from Wakanda to search for the metal, instead doing the exact opposite to help even out the odds against their own feud with the people of Wakanda. Fight fire with fire if you will. But you were hesitant about this mission. You were now only a scientist, no longer a hero nor were you a solider, and the thought of being one of the individuals responsible for creating a possible weapon of mass destruction made you uneasy.

As the boat bobbed up and down in the rough waves, you can’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. It felt off. It’s was almost as if the ocean was singing, the gentle breeze of the night winds was calling you out, beckoning you to come closer. You shook your head, chalking it up to exhaustion. You have been working countless of days and even week for this mission, your team’s safety had been your top priority instead of that stupid metal, and your mind was simply playing tricks on you.

“You alright, Doc?” It was Daniel, one of the dozen of agents the CIA had given as your “protection” during this mission, but you knew for a fact that man like him wouldn’t even bother to save you from drowning if he was given a chance. You’ve met men like him in your lifetime and you wouldn’t trust him with your life because of it.

“Nothing that needs your concern, Agent.” You brushed him off, taking another healthy sip of your tea, your eyes had lingered onto the waters. It has been well over ten minutes now since two members of the team have been deployed to submerge from the waters to locate the Vibranium.

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, the water is find and that suit is practically impenetrable.” He scoffed only for you to ignore as you continued watching the line wires that held onto the suits move further and further down. “This should be the least of your concern knowing what will happen if we find nothing.”

“If any of them are hurt or killed, you know what would happen.” You threatened him right back.

You had made a deal with the devil for your own freedom from the Government. What they had over you and your secret that you wished to put your grave would be buried along with the fallout that you were certain would come one way or another. God only knows what Wakanda would do to you when the truth comes out about your involvement. Your head would be in a silver platter for all you know. It was only a matter on whose table it would lay upon at the end of the day.

“You worry too much, Doc.” He scoffed before leaving you all on your own—peace that you truly needed at this point in time.

But as the night wears on and they have descended deeper into the ocean, the feeling grows stronger. Even as you had headed into the control room to check how they were doing in the water, there was something that was keeping you uneasy.

You can hear a faint humming sound, almost like a song. It was in the same moment you heard the panic from the communications and everyone was scrambling to and fro inside the boat and you were left stock still from where you stood, even as you tried to locate the two members in the waters. You were informed that it was the Wakandans that had attacked.

Your team has been hard at work, scanning the ocean floor with the suits. But as you approach the coordinate where the Vibranium is believed to be located, something had fucked everything you worked so hard for. The suit and the members were gone, your vision of them had gone black. You and what was left of the escorts were scrambling to figure out what was happening.

You tried rebooting the system hoping it was a glitch, but to no avail. It’s as if something is interfering with the signals. Your heart begins to race. Is this some kind of attack? Have you been discovered by Wakanda’s forces?

And then, without warning, the hum that sounded grew louder, almost blaring through. You had watch some begin to put on earplugs but there was something that kept you from doing such a thing even when they were in your pockets as a precautionary measures—old tale’s don’t die it seems when it comes to the unknown of the waters.

It was a sound that you have never heard before, it had your heart racing, palms sweating and from the looks of everyone else that acted far too late, glazed over as they walked closer into the water in a trance. Had it not have been for the gunshot that echoed, the spell would have remained and there would have been more bloodshed that you would not even be able to imagine.

“Move!” Someone had screamed at you and before you could realize what was going on a bulking man had risen from the waters and you were left frozen at the sight of the man as his spear had penetrated into your escort, Daniel right to the wall besides you.

The man was no Wakandan. He had blue skin, some type of breathing apparatus, and the daunting sight of his headgear made out of a hammerhead shark’s skull. The man over towered over you as he took a step towards you, but your adrenaline has finally kicked in and you find yourself making a mad dash back into the control room, hoping to find anything that could help you in the situation.

It was only in this moment that you had put on the earplugs, deafening the sounds of death up above. You tried to find a gun, a knife, anything that could miraculously keep you alive at this point. Left empty handed, you found a small cabinet right under the control panel. Shoving all of its content all over the floor in hopes of messing with their trail of you before you cramped right in, shutting yourself in complete darkness of the cabinet.

In the deafness of the earplugs, you could hear your heart racing and your breathing shallow. You can feel the vibration of footsteps approaching, getting more and more prominent. You know that the attackers were getting closer and closer to finding you.

Your mind raced as you try to come up with a plan instead of just hiding. You know that if you are found, you are dead. You try to remember your training, but your mind was a jumbled mess and everything was well forgotten in the face of the reality of the danger. You can’t think straight, and your hands were shaking with fear.

As the footsteps draw neared, you slowly find yourself removing the earplugs to the sound of voices. You strain to listen, trying to make out what they were saying, but the language was not like you had ever heard before in your life. It was garbled and indistinct, and you couldn’t tell from where you hid just how many people were there.

You close your eyes, trying to calm yourself down. You know that you have to be brave, that you have to stay calm and think rationally if you're going to survive. But as the sound of the footsteps grows louder, your resolve begins to crumble. You're so scared that you can hardly think straight. You feel like you're going to die.

And then, suddenly, you hear the sound of the door opening. You hold your breath, praying that you won't be found. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest, and you're sure that they can hear it too. But as the seconds tick by, nothing happens. You're still hidden in the cabinet, and your attackers haven't found you. You begin to relax, thinking that maybe you're safe after all.

But as you felt the sound of the monitors being broken from above you, you felt all the reassurance turn into nothing but panic and dread.

Your life flashes before your eyes. You think of your family, of your mother that you have never talked to since you had pulled away from her and her people growing up, your friends that have accepted you for who you were, the people you have loved and cherish, the members of your team that had risked their lives for this excavation—all for nothing. You wondered if you would ever see any of them again. The profound sense of sadness and regret, knowing that there was still so many things you have not done, places you have never been able to see, to have the family you have never thought you would deserve to have.

It was the first line of sobs that escaped your lips that caught their attention and the cabinet was torn off the hinges and you were in front of them all. Pulled by the arm by one of them, you were scrambling to pull away from their hold but the spear that was now pointed at you, you were left standing still.

There were five of them, the man from earlier was also here, but it was not him that had your attention—it was the man with the normal skin.

You stand in front of the man, looking him in the eye. You can sense his fury, the anger boiling just beneath the surface. His face is twisted in a scowl, his eyes flashing with an intensity that makes your heart race. You can feel the tension in the air, the electricity that seems to crackle between you.

But as he gets closer, you start to feel a little bit of fear creeping in. You can see the veins bulging in his neck, his breathing becoming ragged and uneven.

In the closer proximity, you took a look at him from head to toe to realize that he wasn’t normal either. Sans the blue skin, he had pointed ears and the physics-impossible wings where his Achilles’ heels should have been.

“Who created the machine?” The man spoke, accent-heavy. His voice deep and daunting, you can feel the heat of his anger, the rage that seems to be directed at you.

You were left frozen at his question.

“All I know is her name is Riri William.” You spoke honestly. When you had learned that the government had a mobile drone that would help in the location of Vibranium, you did not asked too much question knowing what it entails in the future.

The spear you didn’t realize was in his grasp was now pointed directly at you, the sharp blade of it resting on the base of your neck. One wrong move from you and you could slice your throat open. The tears begin to fall freely from your eyes, pleading for him to spare you. Pleading for him that this was all the information that you knew.

As the spear was finally held down, you felt your knees turn jelly realizing you were still alive and he had spared you—for now.

“If I find out you are lying, I will feed you to the sharks.” He warned.

You shook your head.

“I promise you, on my mother’s name. That is all I know. I’m just here as a scientist helping them finding Vibranium, nothing more.”

The man turned to the hulking man, speaking in a language that you didn’t know before the man had approached you and pulling off his breathing apparatus for you.

“What are you doing?” You questioned moving your head away from him.

“You are coming with me back to Talokan. I cannot trust you to keep my people’s existence as a secret.”

Accepting the breathing apparatus, you were lifted onto the man’s shoulder and the adrenaline was slowly dying down at the foreign device covering on your face and your world begins to fade into the dark abyss.

The throne room was quiet, save for the argument that was exchanged between K’uk’ulkan and his cousin and most trusted General, Namora. He was pacing back and forth, while Namora stood stoically, arms crossed in front of her. It was one thing to watch his cousin and Attuma butt heads from time to time and see Namora come out victorious, it was another to have himself be in the middle of it all, more so for his action that led to this argument to begin with.

"I cannot believe you would bring an outsider into our hidden kingdom, K'uk'ulkan," Namora said sternly. "We have always kept our existence a secret, and now you want to invite this woman into our midst?"

He stopped pacing and turned to face Namora.

“She is not just an outsider. She is a scientist from the surface world, she possesses the knowledge that could help us in finding out who we are up against.”

A part of him did wonder why he did what he did. He could have killed you then and there and be done with it. But how you spoke, to your mother’s grave, it was the truth and he trusted a surface dweller so easily because of it. It was pathetic to see you in hiding, in the confinements of a small cabinet, with just the sob that escaped your lips that gave your location away.

He took you in to his nation, knowing he could find a much better use for you for the time being, at least, that was what he kept telling himself and reassuring Namora too in the process.

Namora's expression remained unchanged. "And what if she reveals our existence to the surface world? What if she leads them here, endangering us and our way of life?"

He sighed heavily. “I have thought about that, my child.” He cupped her cheeks hoping to give her the reassurance that she would need in this moment. “But I have also considered the potential benefits that could come from her here in our Kingdom for the foreseeable future.”

“You are willing to risk everything we have worked for, just for a potential benefit? Is it worth it?” Namora questioned pulling away, with her eyes narrowed at him.

“For our people, for their safety, it will be worth it, My child. With her here, our people will be hidden and protected.”

Namora remained silent, considering his words.

“It’s on you. But we must keep a close eye on the surface dweller. We are not to trust her, not until we know if she is safe for our people.”

“I understand, Namora.” He nodded in agreement. “I will take full responsibility for her while she is here. And if she proves to be more of a liability, we will deal with her accordingly.”

Namora’s expression softened slightly.

"Very well. But if anything goes wrong, it will be on your head."

K'uk'ulkan nodded once more. "I understand."

With that, Namora turned and left the throne room, leaving K'uk'ulkan alone to contemplate the potential risks and rewards of his decision.

Slowly opening your eyes, feeling disoriented as you tried to make sense of your surroundings. You remember being on the boat, the attack that killed almost certainly everyone in the team, to the memories of your life flashing before your eyes in the confinements of the cabinet. But now, you were in a strange chambers inside of a cavern, surrounded by walls of rocks and water.

Sitting up, you noticed the figure standing in front of you. The same man at the boat. The man stood now with robes on instead of just the green shorts and there was a lack of the spear much to your relief. He sees you finally wake up and turns to face you.

“Welcome,” he says, the same daunting voice from the boat but no longer did it held the anger from that night. “I am K’uk’ulkan, King of Talokan.”

You looked at him confused. Talokan? In your years of working for the Avengers and eventually the CIA, learning about all different kinds of aliens and otherworldly beings, both in the surface and in the water, this was the first time you had ever heard about Talokan. Not even from your own family’s history have you heard of beings just like him.

It was as if he could sense your confusion and fear as he held his hands up in reassurance.

“You are in my chambers.” He explains. “You are safe here, Surface dweller, I have spared you in hopes of learning what your people want with the Vibranium in our kingdom.”

You start to feel a sense of uneasiness. What if you told him the truth, of what the government wanted with the Vibranium, would you finally be killed?

“Do not be afraid.” He continues walking closer to you now, his hand placed on your shoulders. “You are safe here, I have brought you alive for a reason and you have my word that you will not be placed in any harm throughout your stay under my jurisdiction.”

As you start to look around the chamber, you notice something strange. The walls are covered in murals, painted in bright colors. They depict scenes of ancient rituals and ceremonies, with strange symbols and images that you can't quite decipher.

He seemed to have noticed your interest.

“Murals of Talokan,” He explains gesturing to the walls. “They tell the story of my people, of our history, and of our beliefs.”

You start to feel a sense of awe, looking at the intricate designs and patterns. You’ve never seen anything like this before in your life. He moves to the wall, taking a brush and paint from a nearby table. As he starts to paint, you watch in amazement. The colors seem to come to life, swirling and dancing before your eyes.

As he paints, K'uk'ulkan begins to speak. He tells you of the ancient gods, of their power and their wisdom. He tells you of the secrets of the Talokan, and of his origins, of why he was different from the rest of his people. He was mutant, the first born son of Talokan.

“Why am I here then?” You questioned, as much as you now grow interested in his stories, you were more concern of what was needed from you in this moment. “I don’t fit into any narrative in your stories or your people?”

“You know too much, and it is best for you to remain here for the time being while we handle the person responsible for creating the machine.”

“How long?” You questioned.

“For a while.” He spoke nonchalantly. “For the meantime, you can visit Talokan with me or you can spend your days here in the chambers, it is up to you.”

You blinked seemingly having no choice in the matter at this point.

It was not what he intended to happen, all he wanted was for Talokan to remain a secret from the surface world. Never did he even think that a glimpse of you and the wonder in your eyes through the water suit did he think he could ever fall in love, with a surface dweller of all people, but here he was.

It had been days now since your arrival, days since your time has been spent in his chambers and in Talokan. How you had made use of your expertise in the waters for their benefit. Fishes and other marine creatures that even the oldest of their scholars did not know of their use was now being integrated into their daily lives.

Y/N.

He had learned so much about you in your stay in his home. How you found yourself making use of your love for the water into your studies to be what you were now. How from so much trials and tribulation in your life, have ended up under the government’s jurisdiction and in your expedition for Vibranium would have been the last part of your agreement with them. Who would have ever thought that someone as shell shock as you would have been a siren in hiding all this time?

He fell in love with you for your love for the water. How the simplest of gifts he would give you would send the biggest and brightest smile on your face. He fell in love with your intention to do better for the world even with everyone against you. He had fallen so madly in love with how easy it had been for his children to open up to you—even Namora that has been far too apprehensive with your stay in Talokan in the beginning.

“Sing me a song, In Sirena?” He asked, his head rested on your lap, your fingers combing through his hair.

In the silence of his bed chambers, he had opened himself to you, about his mother, of the promise he had kept of burying her in their home in the surface world, of the name that was never his own by took to inflict fear to those who were a threat to his people.

He closed his eyes and felt the comfort that came with your touch and of your voice that echoed through his chambers. How your hauntingly beautiful voice placed him at ease, something he was not given as often in his life. He was at peace.

He felt the smile slowly form on his lips as you continued on with your song that was now becoming all too familiar to him. It was a lullaby, one that your own mother had sung to you as a young child, it brought back memories of his own mother, of the love that only she could give you even with the responsibility that rested on his shoulders—he felt like a child all over again.

“When this is all over, if I let you go, will you ever come back for me?” He found himself asking, slowly opening his eyes to look up at you.

You had halted in your song to look right back at him, eyes softening at his question.

“I don’t know,” You answered honestly.

Another thing he had appreciated about you was your honesty, no matter if it would offend him or anyone else, you held honesty that was few and far in between for a surface dweller. He understood your answer, though he was sadden by the reality of it—you were still a captive of his domain, stuck in the crossfire of his mission to protect his people. But he longed for the day that you would stay, even for just his people.

“I understand.”

“I have people that depend on me in the surface. I’ve already lost some of the people I’ve treated like my family—I want to make sure that I explained what had happened to their families.”

He looked away, knowing the weight of his action had on you now. Of the deaths that was to be expected for the protection of his own people.

Their little moment was interrupted at the sight of Attuma arriving.

“What?” He inquired, not leaving his positon on your lap much to your own discomfort and embarrassment.

“The Princess and the scientist are here.” Attuma announced and it was the sign he needed that his moment with you was now over.

At the news of someone else from the surface now being held under hostage of Talokan, you had asked K’uk’ulkan about seeing them. No matter how much you were slowly understanding the man’s need to protect his people a part of you still wanted to see and check upon those that are for certain scared of being here.

“Dr. Y/L/N?”

The last thing you would have expected to see was Princess Shuri and Riri Williams here. But then again, it was Vibranium that Talokan was protecting, and having them here was becoming more understandable than anything else.

“Are you two okay?” You asked, checking them from head to toe for any sort of injuries.

“You were reported dead.” It was Shuri that had spoken and your heart fell. But realized that after everything, at the death of your team and escorts, it would have bound to happen that without your body recovered, they would have expected as much.

“They have taken me here to keep quiet.” You answered. You worry that if you said too much it would end with your hurt or worst the women in front of you would.

The guilt was now washing over your system at the realization of your admittance of Riri being responsible for the machine had now led to her here—bringing Shuri along in the process.

“We have to find a way out.” You whispered holding onto their hands, you know it would take some work to find the suits they have used but it was better than whatever they might have planned for them—or for you at the matter.

“No.” Shuri shook her head.

You shook your head. It was not the right thing to do for her. Unlike you, that now had everyone believing you were dead and for certain would face prosecution if the Government found out you were alive, Shuri had so much to live for, someone to that loved her, and everything else in her life that you know for certain that you did not have anymore.

“He wants to go to war with the surface world, and asked me to help him.”

You blinked realizing then and there the reality of the man and his intentions. One of the servants remained, providing food for the three of you and you had hoped that she did not understand anything that you were talking about in this moment. Your eyes lingered to the guards also station around to watch over you and over the two.

“Princess, please.” You held onto her hand, hoping to talk some sense to her even in this very moment. “The world has done all of us wrong, but this is not the right thing to do.” You plead for her, turning your attention towards Riri that was still shaken by everything that was happening.

“Then why did you remain when you could easily have escaped?” Shuri questioned.

Your eyes closed at the reality of her words, how easily you could have escaped because of your powers but chose not to do so. In the moment you did not have a reason to leave, for you genuinely fell in love with Talokan even with the circumstance of it all.

You fell in love. How stupid it was for you to do so, falling in love with your captor but you did. You see your family in this people. How your own was cast to the waters by the very same people that had once cast K’uk’ulkan’s people into the waters. He was just like you, just as much as you were just like him.

“I’ve lost everything, Princess.” You whispered. “I’ve got to no Tony or Nat to back me up anymore, the government is wringing me dry for all that I have until they have the better reason to finally lock me away and experiment on me. He gave me an opportunity to live here and I might just stay because of it.”

In the struggle of it all, you once had Tony and Nat to depend on in your life, but with everything that had happened during the snap and their death to save the entirety of the universe, life has never been the same for you and you linger in the chaos of the life you tried to rebuild for yourself in the process.

Your eyes lingered behind and the sight of Nakia had caught you off guard.

Before you could even act, Nakia had shot the guards on stand by and the servant had now held a knife against Shuri. It was chaos and you did not know who to save in this moment. You held your hands up towards Nakia and pleaded for the servant to let her go, the sight of her hesitation was all you need to know that she was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Please. It doesn’t have to end like this.” You plead to Nakia. “They will let Shuri go, and you can escape safely. Please.”

Nakia held a blank look before talking to Shuri and before long shooting the servant without hesitation. You were quick in your steps, dashing towards the servant as you held onto the wound and your eyes turned towards Shuri and Nakia.

“You need to come with us, Wakanda can protect you. It is the least we can do for all the help you’ve given us in the past.”

You wanted to, but as the servant had held onto you as she fought for her life, it had you second guessing yourself. If it was worth the risk coming back, with not only the Government coming after you but now even Talokan that has shown her nothing but kindness since your arrival.

“You’ve waged the war…all he wanted was to protect his people.” You shook your head refusing to come with them.

You had watched them leave, in the emptiness of the caverns that they stayed in, you found the tears have slowly fallen as you begin to sing the servant a song, hoping to be there for her in her dying moments.

‘Ili-ili tulog anay Wala diri imong nanay Kadto tienda Bakal Papay Ili-ili tulog anay Mata kana tabang mo Ikarga ang Nakompra ko Kay Bug-at Man Sing Putos ko Tabang Mo Ako Anay Ili-ili Tulog Anay Walang diri Imong Nanay Kadto tienda Bakal Papay Ili-ili tulog anay’

“In Sirena?”

The sight of K’uk’ulkan approaching brought all the guilt to the surface as your eyes turned back to the servant girl, how she was begging for her king to save her even when it was far too late for her.

“I tried to stop them.” You whispered closing the servant girl’s eyes as she now laid lifeless in your arms. “I tried to make them go without hurting anyone else in the process.”

You turned to the sight of Namora walking behind at the scene of death at the hands of Wakanda. You did not have the heart to look her in the eyes now, after all the help she had given you in your stay in Talokan—this was the price that you paid. It was better off if you were dead just like the rest of them.

You sobbed as the cousins begin to converse in their language. It was all your fault, from the moment you had accepted the mission to seek Vibranium from under the waters, you have left nothing but death and failure in your midst and now even in Talokan, the same curse has come to present you.

Even as K’uk’ulkan has pulled you away from the servant girl to allow her to be buried, you sobbed over and over even as you were pulled into his chest.

“Why did you stay?” He questioned you, his hand cupped your cheeks wiping what remains of the tears on your cheeks. “You could have left with them.”

“I can’t.” You confessed. “Not like this, not if it means someone dying in the process.”

“Then join us, in our fight.”

“I can’t. Revenge is never the answer.”

It was a week now since the attack in the cavern, you have decided to remain in K’uk’ulkan’s chambers for the entirety of it. But you have never talked to the man after what he had done as retribution for Nakia’s attack. The Queen of Wakanda was dead—drowned, and the invasion of Wakanda had set off more conflict than anything you would have ever imagine from them.

“In Sirena,”

You turned, the frown rested heavily on your lips in the moment but you said nothing even as the man approaching you, standing right in front of you from where you sat in the bed. You know why he was hear, it has been a week as the agreement and at any time a war is about to break through and you could only fear the damage and death it would cause in their paths.

“I want you to join me in this fight. After everything with Wakanda is resolved, I want you to be my Queen.”

You closed your eyes, it was not how you would have wanted to stay, not in this circumstance.

“Revenger and retribution is not the answer. It will only cause death and pain for everyone involved.”

“Then please stay here in Talokan, with me, with my people. Live with us and flourish and grow to be what you were always meant to be.”

And just like every instances that he asks you the question, you shook your head. In a perfect world, when things have not been filled with bloodshed, you would have. But in this instance, you couldn’t, not when you had a part in the mess that created the fight between Talokan and Wakanda.

“I can’t.”

“Then when you are ready, you can leave.” He spoke to which had your eyes widen and you looked at him now straight in his eyes, the sadness that came with his words. “Just know that you can never come back or you will be killed on the spot as you are a surface dweller trespassing our home. My love and fondness for you does not change the fact that you are an enemy of Talokan.”

It was cruel for him to say after everything that you have both been through together. But in the end, it was always his people above his own emotions and the love you have come to realize you both shared for each other in the short amount of time in his chambers and in his home.

“Okay.”

As he had laid on his back so close to the brink of death, defeated by the Black Panther, his mind had been only on two things. His mother and you. He was ready to die, but his memories were brought back to you as the Princess had the spear by his neck, ready to kill him. He was brought back to your words as you had pleaded for him to reconsider the fight against Wakanda. He was brought back to the hope that you would stay if he made the right decision.

He had yielded, with you and his mother on his mind. He had yielded hoping that you would stay even at the venom of his words when he last spoke to you.

As he had spoken to his people, ordering them to go back to Talokan, his mind was flooded with you—the glimpse of hope that you would remain still and be with him. He swam back to the waters, with his people guiding him throughout, his injuries were slowly healing, but it will take time and he needed to rest.

“I want to be left alone.” He spoke to his servant, brushing them away as they intended to patch him up. He refused, deciding to lick his wound in solitude.

Groggily, he had made his way back to this chambers, the silence broke his heart as he saw no sign of you anywhere. Walking towards his bed, he laid face first, the ache and pain that came with the battle against the Princess did a number on him and it would take a while before his wings would grow back.

He closed his eyes, for the moment, making peace with the silence of his chambers, the ghost of your voice echoing his mind. Your lullaby that would give him the comfort he never truly had in his life.

“K’uk’ulkan?”

His eyes snapped open, confused and devastated, it might be the delirium from his injuries that made him hear voices that were never there. But the panic of the voice continued to sound and it was when he felt the warm familiar hands on his shoulders that he had realize it was not his imagination playing a cruel joke on him.

It was you. You were still here.

“In Sirena,” he spoke turning his head to look at you.

The tear stricken face and the worry that was all too evident in your beautiful features.

“Why are you here?” He questioned, sitting up with you guiding him.

“I didn’t have the heart to leave until I know for certain you were alright.”

It was how quick his heart fluttered by your words, the effect you had on him knows no bound and made it all the more painful when you decided to finally leave.

“It is over, I have made an agreement with Wakanda.” He spoke. He watched the way your shoulders relaxed at this words. “You no longer have a reason to stay, you can leave and never turn back.”

“I can’t.” You smiled gently wrapping your arms around the man, sealing your fate to be with him forever, not only as his partner and companion, but as the Queen of Talokan.

#k'uk'ulkan x reader #K'uk'ulkan smut #K'uk'ulkan oneshot #K'uk'ulkan oneshots #K'uk'ulkan fluff #K'uk'ulkan imagines #K'uk'ulkan imagine #namor x reader #namor oneshot #namor oneshots #namor imagines #namor angst #K'uk'ulkan angst

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boop-le-snoot · 2 years

Text

welcome to

⚡ Welcome to Bun's Cockstop! This is a place where I thirst over cute dirty old men! Most of my works can also be found on AO3 (here).

⚡ My name is Bun/Bunny. I go by any pronouns.

⚡ I do not write RPF (real person fiction). That said, any kind of drama mongering, moral policing and other purity culture bullshit is not welcome on my blog. At best, I will block you; if you annoy me enough, I just might be inclined to prove your opinion wrong (with citations).

⚡ I am pro-ship, pro-dark!fic, I think sex work is work, I don't support communism (and Russia! seriously, GTFO) and I support the death penalty for crimes against children. If you find yourself wanting to argue w/me about these topics, don't waste our time and block me.

⚡ I communicate in English and Russian and understand several more assorted languages. Don't be shy and say hello 😌 This is my Spotify <3 😌

⚡ My blog is meant for an adult audience. It will contain topics such as sex and various kinks, drugs, trauma, queer stuff and lots of rock-'n'-roll. All the things I post are tagged accordingly, therefore it is your responsibility to block the tags/blacklist the content you do not wish to see. You choose the content you consume & I am not here to babysit.

⚡ a post with fic author recs for stephen-tony-bruce

⚡ masterlist below spoiler ⚡

stories marked with an asterisk* contain adult content

⚡ multichapter fics ⚡

party favours [AO3 link] | tony stark x bruce banner x stephen strange x reader ot4) | explicit | ~120k words | completed

practical alchemy [AO3 link] | witch!reader x established!ironstrange | explicit | in progress (hiatus)

black dog [AO3 link] | badass!reader x negan (twd) | explicit | in progress, 1/3 done

⚡one-shots⚡

helmut zemo | marmalade taffy* |

sam wilson | bad touch* | violent delights* (content warning) |

loki | if life gives you melons* | bondage* (nb reader, they/them) | snow day* (male reader)

natasha romanoff | hot wheels* |

wanda maximoff | caught |

bucky barnes | bother figure (daughter!reader) |

thor | idunn's apples | hired man* (dubcon) | beloved, bejeweled |

otto octavius / doc ock | horny headcanons* | i want to kill you like they do in the movies - part 1 - part 2* - part 3* (fin) |

steve rogers | it drives me wild* |

daryl dixon | cherry - part 1 - part 2* (coming soon) | untitled* | dirt* |

⚡ blurb series ⚡

daddy!ironstrange - daddy lessons* | part one | part two |

rickyl - part one*

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knickynoo · 10 months

Text

HELLO, EVERYONE! I SAW THE BTTF MUSICAL YESTERDAY, AND AM READY TO POST SOME (SEMI) COHERENT THOUGHTS!

[Fair warning that some things here may spoil parts of the show.]

• First things first: It was so good. It was so, so, very good. Incredible show. I'd been hearing great things about the show since it first came out in London, and I've been listening to the music since it dropped, so I pretty much went in knowing I'd like it but it still managed to be even better than I thought.

• Just the setup of the theater itself and the ambiance prior to it starting was so cool. The way everything is lit blue and there's all the electrical zapping and humming. THE CONSTANT TICKING OF CLOCKS THAT FILLED THE THEATER. Nothing had even happened yet, and I was like, "This is such a good show."

• My one big cause for hesitation was Casey playing Marty. I know absolutely nothing about the guy, but Marty is just so dear to my heart, and MJF's energy and physicality isn't something easily captured. I had my doubts about seeing someone try to bring Marty to Broadway, but Casey walked onto the stage, called out, "Doc?" and I went, "Yeah, okay. There's Marty."

• For real, though, Casey was phenomenal as Marty. He had the vocal inflection down. The right amount of crackliness. Very good balance of cool kid and disoriented mess.

• Um. HUGH COLES?!? Talk about brilliant casting. I mean it when I say that he somehow seemed more George than George from the movie. The audience reacted with a sense of awe when he started speaking and moving around the stage. It was like Crispin Glover had been plucked straight from the film and injected with More Georgeness. When he did the laugh, the audience went nuts. His physical acting and the way he captured George's gestures perfectly was amazing to watch.

• As I'd expected, Musical Doc is ten times more chaotic and unhinged than Movie Doc. Roger Bart's comedic timing is impeccable. He earned himself frequent howling laughter from the audience from the moment he appeared on stage.

• His "Good thing I kept this radiation suit from my Manhattan Project days" line was a nice touch.

• "Despite my fear of heights, I was standing on my toilet," was such a gem of a line.

• THE DELOREAN. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE DELOREAN. I had no idea how they were going to depict a car speeding to 88mph on a small stage, but THEY DID IT. Astounding. Honestly might be the coolest effects I've ever seen done on a stage. Also, I wasn't sure how I'd feel about the addition of it being voice-activated and talking, but it worked nicely!

• The musical obviously had to trim some parts of the movie—and even omit parts entirely—but it was done so well that you either didn't even notice or miss they were gone. The change from George being hit by a car to simply falling out of the tree was one of these changes. (Marty's under the tree trying to catch him, btw, which is how he ends up getting knocked out)

• I couldn't tell if this was an ad-lib from Casey, but when he was trying to get his pants back on in the Baines house scene, he started struggling a bit with the tangled suspenders that were wrapped around one of the legs of the jeans and muttered in frustration, "Why do I wear suspenders??" Very funny little moment.

• Great chemistry between Bart and Casey. The connection between Doc and Marty was THERE. The musical GOT IT RIGHT. So many hilarious moments between them in the form of completely unintelligible banter, where they're just talking over each other and having like...verbal tennis matches of nonsense. It's hard to describe in writing, but trust me, it was so good. It went something like this:

Doc: "Marty!"

Marty: "Doc!"

Both Simultaneously: *literal gibberish*

• There's a beautiful little addition to the scene when Marty shows up at Doc's house in 1955 and tries to convince him he's from the future. After Doc asks him to take him to this supposed "time machine" Marty goes, "Sure, hang on, I just gotta grab some flashlights." Then he goes straight to a cabinet and quickly retrieves two flashlights without a second thought, to which Doc is like, "How did you know they were in there??" Marty knows!! He knows exactly where the flashlights are because of course he does!!

• Perhaps one of the funniest moments of the show was right at the end of the "Future Boy" number, where the music stops and there's that breaking of the fourth wall moment. Doc and Marty look around in confusion at all the backup singers and dancers awkwardly standing around his house (one of the singers continues dancing/singing long after the others has stopped lol) and Doc wordlessly opens the door so they can all scurry out.

• Doc's dream of visiting the year 2020 where everything is perfect and there's "no disease" got some very loud laughter from the audience.

• Oh. Oh, the scene at Doc's house at night after the demonstration with the toy car. The way everything gets solemn for a moment, and Doc is doubting himself and worried about failing. Marty's lovely little speech about how everything will be okay because he believes in him. He trusts Doc. He knows it'll work and they'll get him home. The way Marty is the one looking after and taking care of Doc in that moment. When he asks, "Do you need anything, Doc? Can I make you a sandwich?" And then when he says softly, "Goodnight, Doc. Pleasant dreams."

THE MUSICAL GETS IT RIGHT. THE WARMTH. THE LOVE. THIS WAS SUCH A NICE ADDITION.

• "PUT YOUR MIND TO IT" !!!! I loved this sequence so, so much. Marty gets to strut his stuff while George flails around trying to imitate him. It was funny, the choreography was great, and we get such a nice Marty and George hug at the end! Why didn't they hug in the movie??

• The audience was super engaged and reactive through the whole show, but it noticeably ramped up in the latter part—starting with the night of the dance. There was such an excitement as people anticipated George swooping in to take down Biff and protect Lorraine. When Biff went down, the audience whooped and clapped and cheered so much.

• EARTH ANGEL! THE MOMENT GEORGE AND LORRAINE KISS. It was just like the movie. The music suddenly swelled, Marvin belted out, "The vision of your happiness", George and Lorraine kissed, and the audience. Lost. Their. Minds. It was as if people were experiencing the story for the first time—that's how strong the reaction was. So cool.

• Audience also went wild at the start of Johnny B. Goode. That was a neat sequence as well. Huge laughs at the "But your kids are gonna love it" line.

• The clocktower scene! Marty handing Doc the letter and saying, "I wrote you a thank-you note; don't read it until you get home!!" LOL. So many amazing effects going on in this one. For those of you who have seen the show, you probably remember Doc running up the clocktower stairs, right? Did the audience nearly die of laughter like they did at my showing? That was truly one of the top 5 funniest moments of the show, in my opinion. It had me giggling hours later once I was home. For those of you who have not seen the show, I don't think I can adequately put into words what was happening during this scene, but it was incredibly funny. It's good there wasn't any dialogue during it, because no one would have heard it with the way everyone was laughing.

• The fire trails on stage got quite the awed reaction. Super cool.

• The hug! We get our Doc and Marty hug at the end! I'm so glad they realized that moment was missing from the movie.

• I liked the shift from Marty waking up at home to him waking up on the bench in town instead. The "George McFly Day" part was a fun addition, and it flowed nicely into Marty's "Power of Love" performance.

• THE CAR FLEW. IT FLEW UP IN THE AIR AND THE WHEELS TURNED IN AND IT WENT OUT OVER THE AUDIENCE. HOW DID THEY DO THAT. IT DID A COMPLETE ROTATION UPSIDE DOWN WHILE CASEY AND BART WAVED TO PEOPLE. If anyone knows of any videos or articles explaining how they did things with the car, please let me know because I can't find anything and I would love to know how they did it! You couldn't see anything holding the car, and i'm so confused! The effects were so good.

• Love how, when the show ended, the giant screen on the stage just said, "Make like a tree and get outta here."

...I think those are all my thoughts. I was planning to write up a post with just a couple of bullet points of highlights and instead. Well. This is what you get from me, and if you've followed my blog for any length of time, you know that. But really, the show was so well done. I had a blast. I bought a pin that says, "Whoa, this is heavy" and I'm going to put it on my denim jacket :)

For those who are planning to see the musical, I hope this helps hype you up for it. And for those who can't see it, I hope this gives you a good look at what it's like!

#back to the future #bttf #back to the future: the musical #bttf: the musical #casey likes #roger bart #broadway

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solipseismic · 1 year

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2022 poetry rec list

wrapping up this year w another poetry rec list! this year i’ve leaned a lot more into actively reading and writing much more poetry and hope to be publishing a compilation of my work (hopefully!) this time next year as well :) once again, i’ve tried to link what i could back to original sources + authors but a few of these link to tumblr posts / screenshots. this one is MUCH longer so i’ve organized it into my fav 15 + the rest below the cut!

top fifteen:

desert hymns no.2 (@/prophetfromthecrypt)

despite my efforts even my prayers have turned into threats (kaveh akbar)

erishkigal specializes in butchery (joan tierney)

for the dogs who barked at me on the sidewalks in connecticut (hanif abdurraqib)

fricatives (eric yip)

hammond b3 organ cistern (gabrielle calvocoressi)

let your father die energy drink (daniel lavery)

morning prayer with rat king (kaveh akbar)

not even this (ocean vuong)

on coming back as a buzzard (lia purpura)

the swan (@/tinyghosthands)

sometimes i wish i felt the side effects (danez smith)

song of the insensible (andrew kozma)

space boy wearing skirt (lee jenny)

the stars are warm (chung ho-seung)

everyone else:

14 lines from love letters or suicide notes (doc luben)

blood makes the blade holy (evan knoll)

border patrol agent (eduardo c corral)

carpet bomb (kenyatta rogers)

death comes to me again, a girl (dorianne laux)

desert (john gould fletcher)

do you consider writing to be therapeutic? (andrew grace)

dust (dorianne laux)

first will and testament + missing persons (sam sax)

fish (richelle buccilli)

for the feral splendor that remains (caconrad)

glitter (keaton st james)

gravedigger (andrew thomas huang)

heart condition (jericho brown)

it is maybe time to admit that michael jordan definitely pushed off (hanif abdurraqib)

leaves (lloyd schwartz)

letter to s, hospital (emily skaja)

metaphors for my body on the examination table (torrin a greathouse)

miss you. would like to grab that chilled tofu we love (gabrielle calvocoressi)

my brother, asleep (steven espada dawson)

my brother out of rehab, points, (ron riekki)

my cat is sad (spencer madsen)

notes from jonah's lecture series (tanya olsen)

publick universal friend contends with orthgraphy & meditates in an emergency (day heisinger-nixon)

red stains (allen tate)

red shift (david baker)

salvage (hedgie choi)

shoulders (naomi shihab nye)

social skills training (solmaz sharif)

the 17-year-old & the gay bar (danez smith)

the desert dispels this hallowed ground of coarse insinuations (julia wong kcomt)

the twelfth day (rosanna warren)

two-mom energy drink (daniel lavery)

two poems (rachel nelson)

two times i loved you the most in a car (dorothea grossman)

un [naming] / trans (after golden) (angelic proof)

valentine for ernest mann (naomi shihab nye)

vi. wisdom: the voice of god (mary karr)

WAITING (keaton st james)

what mary magdalene said to the young transsexual (elle emerson)

wild geese (mary oliver)

worms (shyla hardwick)

#poetry #poems #poetry recs #poetry rec list #masterlist #croidhe #2022 #happy new year everyone :)#excited to see what next year's poetry is in store for me !#to be is to be backlit #writing

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fanaticsnail · 5 months

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Hi, I love Spasorrow fic, I'm really sick right now so I spend the day reading all the things you wrote.

English Is not my first lenguage, and I barely understand how Tumblr works.

I got this idea but I can't figure out how to write the story.

This Is a Buggy x Reader idea, they were friends with Shanks and navigate with Roger, but one day there's a storm and reader falls overboard.

Shanks and Buggy thought reader died, but for some reason they can't drown, years later they sneaks to Buggy's tripulation to kill a man since they are now a mercenary. Buggy starts falling for them since they treat him like a human being without being intimidated by him. Later Buggy recognice readear and...? I don't know

Hello, love! I'm glad you've enjoyed my writing. I adore writing for the sapsorrow fic, it's always on my mind of late.

I've done a similar fic like this before for Shanks! It's an amnesia-trope fic where "reader" loses memories after falling overboard. It's called "Remember Me" and it's on my Masterlist if you'd like to take a look! 🖤

For Buggy, I absolutely adore the concept. You could go a similar route with it: amnesia after serving aboard Gol D Roger's ship with the two young apprentices, Shanks and Buggy.

For plot purposes:

Shanks reads as a perpetual flirt who has never had to work hard to gain the attention of friends and lovers.

Buggy has always seen himself as unlovable due to his disfigurement (nose).

How your concept reads as a bulleted point:

OC/Reader has been working hard to build up Buggy's confidence; Shanks is always a reassuring king. Buggy thinks the two of them are simply making fun of him.

Amongst a storm: Buggy, reader/OC and Shanks were tasked with tying the rigging for the ship. They work hard, reader/oc always reaching out for Buggy to protect him, knowing if he falls overboard he'll be rendered defenceless and likely die.

As one final wave swells, the three of them all look amongst each other. Buggy slips, reaches for reader/OC but finds Shank's arm in their absence. Reader/oc smiles in relief, all is well - but the ship's bottom hits a large coral bank and they're tossed to the side of the boat. Seaspray renders Shanks' vision blurry, Buggy tries to reach for reader/OC but they scream at him not to because he'll die.

Buggy doesn't want to lose them, screams over his shoulders for Shanks to help him but as he turns back around - he's met with nothing. His soul screams out for them, Shanks manages to clear his eyes from the sea spray but it's to no avail. Reader/OC is lost to them.

Notes:

That is really where I would start it as a chaptered fic. It has so much potential to take it anywhere you want.

Reader/OC could be found by a ship of conflicting pirates who take pity on them in the storm

Reader/OC could wash to shore and be taken under the wing and train as a marine under Garp and Bogard

This one could be exceptionally sad/angsty if they were the one tasked with bringing Gol D Roger into custody and execute him. Having amnesia and be made to kill your childhood captain would just have me crying so much.

They could not be found at all and be made to fend for themselves. Accidentally stumbling into a thief's guild, they could learn to train with them to complete tutorship as an assassin.

To set the mood for you to write to, I have some song recommendations for you!

My Heart With You - The Rescues

Play With Fire - Sam Tinnesz, Yacht Money

Siren Song - Bat For Lashes

If you need any help, I am absolutely happy to beta-read / proof read for you over google docs! Send me a private message and I'd love to help you in any way I can 🖤

Themes: lost lovers, angst, amnesia-trope, blissful reunification, apprehension, teasing, violence, friends to lovers, enemies to lovers.

@writingmysanity @gingernut1314 @empressofmankind @nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos @tiredemomama @sordidmusings also have some beautiful Buggy pieces and amazing thoughts on their Masterlists, if you'd like to check them out.

@since-im-already-here also has a lot of music recs and advice.

Happy writing!! 🖤🖤

#happy writing #supporting fic writers #prompt #new fic #one piece #buggy #buggy the clown #writing prompt

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crazyunsexycool · 2 years

Text

Love in times of war

Pairing: 40s!Steve Rogers x 40s!Reader

word count: 16.1k

Summary: you meet Steve Rogers while working with Dr. Erskine.

warnings: Steve being adorable, preserum Steve, angst, fluff, badly written smut, talks of blood, needles, gunshots, Bucky being a little shit, Peggy is a bitch (if you like Peggy this is not the blog for you)

A/N: this was a wild ride. Was it necessary to write 16k not at all but I had so much fun writing it. I used some scenes from Captain America the first avenger but I don’t own the characters or marvel. Please let me know what you think and as always I appreciate the comments, likes and reblogs.

master list

Excitement was thick in the air, the expo was in full swing and men were lining up at the recruitment center in order to serve their country. You had almost been out the door after a long day of work when you were called back. It was rare that Dr. Erskine would ask you to come in if you were done for the night but the moment you stepped into his office you knew. His eyes were bright and hopeful.

“You found him.” you exclaimed once the door was shut. Leaning back against the door you looked at the older man, excited at the possibility.

“Perhaps I have. I need you now more than ever.”

“Of course, anything you need.”

“Good.” He says as he hands you a file.

“Steven Grant Rogers.” you murmur as your eyes scan the page. “Hmm, he has a long list of health issues Doc.” You look back up at him to find Erskine studying your reaction. “But you didn’t choose him because of that did you?”

“You are correct. This world needs more than good soldiers Y/N.”

“It needs good men. He seems to fit the bill, he’s tried to sign up multiple times to fight for his country. Seems like Mr. Rogers only wants to do what's right.”

“You get it and that is why I need you by my side. Go home and pack your things. We have a lot to prepare for in the coming weeks.”

***************************************************************

The next morning you had been one of the first people into Erskine’s lab. The good doctor had left you with a list of things to do the night before so you began at the top of the list. By the time you had organized the equipment he needed and redid Steve’s chart it was time to start with the regular work day.

You made your way to the exam room that had been set up and knocked on the door. When you heard the faint come in you opened the door to find Steve unbuttoning his shirt. His eyes were the prettiest blue you had ever seen but they were filled with embarrassment at his state of undress. If that wasn’t enough, the hint of pink that dusted his cheeks made him even cuter.

“Hi Mr. Rogers my name is Y/N and I’m going to be assisting Dr. Erskine. He needs me to take your vitals and some blood samples too. Is it ok if I come in now?”

“Yes, it’s alright.”

You open the door wider and close it behind you, offering him a smile before making your way to the small cabinet area in the room. Steve’s chart sits on the counter while you gather the things you’ll need to take his vitals.

“You don’t have to be nervous. Everything will turn out alright.” You say over your shoulder when you notice him fidgeting.

“What if Dr. Erskine chose the wrong person for this?”

You placed everything you needed on the small cart that was nestled in the corner of the room and dragged it closer as you thought about how to answer the question.

“I’ve been working with him for almost a year now and this is the first time he’s selected anyone.”

“So no pressure.”

You smile as you put the cuff on his arm to take his blood pressure.

“I know his story but that is for him to tell you. I can say that for the first time in a long time he feels hopeful and that is something you gave him. Which means that you’re the only choice for this project.”

After taking his pressure you make a note on his chart. As you pull on the stethoscope that was hanging around your neck to listen to his heart and then his lungs you feel his eyes on you. Steve is taking in your beauty and he’s sure you heard how his breath hitches when you move closer. But he’s almost in a trance by the beautiful color of your eyes, a color he’ll have to remember so that he can try and recreate it later. You move away from him before grabbing what you need to take blood samples and labeling them.

“How can you be so sure of that?” He asked in a hush tone.

“You’re humble for starters. With anyone else they would have puffed out their chest, proud that they’re the only one that fit the bill but you still question it. From what I read in your file you find yourself in fights quite a bit?”

“I don’t like bullies.”

“Exactly, you’re willing to fight for what’s right. You stand up against those that abuse their power and you don’t do it for the glory or anything.You know what it means to be powerless and it’s safe to say you’re compassionate. I think that’s more important than just passing all these tests. And like I said I know Erskine’s story, one you will understand with time.” you offer Steve a small smile which he returns. Before he’s able to reply another knock echoes into the small room before the door opens.

“There you are Y/N, thank you for getting the lab ready.”

“You’re welcome doc. I’m done with his vitals and blood samples.”

“Good, take them back to my lab. I have some other things to go over with Steve.” Dr. Erskine pats your shoulder.

“See you later Steve and remember what I said.” You send a wink his way as you walk out of the room. Dr. Erskine watched as you walked out and the blush that appeared on Steve’s cheeks with a smirk.

“If you hurt her I will make you disappear.”

“What- no I would never… She wouldn’t even like someone like me.”

“You don’t know that. Y/N is one of the few people I trust. She is kind, smart and selfless and are you going to deny that she is beautiful? She wants what we do, for this world to be better and the war to be over. I think she’s the only one that can choose who she likes.”

*********************************************

A few weeks have passed since you first met Steve. Now you had traveled to New Jersey to the base that was being used for basic training. They had given you a small room to set up as a makeshift office so that you could take more blood samples from Steve and some other recruits that Colonel Phillips had picked himself.

“Private Hodge.” You called out from the doorway.

“Hello sugar.” Hodge said as he walked in. You saw him look you up and down with a smirk on his lips.

“Please have a seat.”

“You like being bossy, sugar? I could get used to that.” he winks as he takes a seat on the exam table.

“Private Hodge my name isn’t sugar it’s Y/N so I would appreciate it if you would stop calling me that.”

“Oh come on I’m just teasing. I’m sure a pretty little thing like you is used to the attention.”

“I’d really prefer it if you stopped talking now. I need to take your blood pressure.”

You went down the mental list you had created, making sure to gather all of the information Dr. Erskine required. Although physically Hodge was in the running to be the first test subject, the fact that he was making you uncomfortable with not only his comments but he wouldn’t take his eyes off you was bothersome. Dr. Erskine had told you early on that he was looking for someone that was more than physically capable, he needed to find someone that was good and would stand up for what was right. The more time you worked with the doctor the more it made sense as to why Steve was the only choice.

“You’re all done, you can leave.” You informed him as you rushed to the door and opened it.

“Don’t I get a reward for being such a good patient?” Hodge had walked up to you and put a hand on your waist with the purpose of pulling you closer.

“Let me go.”

“Just a little sugar, sugar.”

Hodge pulled you closer forcing you to place your hands on his chest to try to push him away. When that didn’t work you stomped on his boot, the heel of your shoe digging into the top of his foot causing him to take a few steps back.

“You little-”

“Back off.” Steve appeared by the door and quickly stood in front of you to keep Hodge away.

“What are you going to do about it?”

Hodge was much taller and muscular then Steve. He stocked over to the blond, using his height to try and intimidate the shorter man but it didn’t work.

“No fighting allowed. If you do, you're disqualified.”

Hodge backed away from Steve with a huff and some curses under his breath. He looked over at you with a scowl on his face before heading down the hallway. You looked down before looking at Steve and moving into the room to let him in.

“Thank you, for that.” you said in a hushed voice. His hand found yours and he tugged so that you would turn towards him.

“Did he hurt you?”

“No, you got here just in time.”

“If he tries anything else you tell me, I don’t care about being disqualified.”

You smile at him before squeezing his hand lightly.

“And you doubt why you are the perfect person for this.” you motioned toward the exam table. “Let me get some items together and then we can start.”

The room sat in comfortable silence as you moved around the exam table. You could feel Steve’s eyes on you and when you looked over your shoulders your eyes would meet causing his cheeks to redden with the embarrassment of being caught. It was cute to say the least and since the first meeting you hadn’t really been able to stop thinking about him. Still in the moment you pushed your thoughts of what dating Steve would be like and focused on the task at hand. Unfortunately everything was completed quickly and there was no reason for him to stay and talk.

“Were you done for the night then?” Steve cut the silence.

“Yeah, I just need to put these things away.”

“Are you staying on base? I could walk you to your room if you’d like.”

“I would like that, thank you.” You looked up from his chart and smiled. “Let me just finish this up.”

He gave you a quick nod and walked out to wait for you in the hallway. A few minutes later you walked out, locking the door before turning to the blond that was leaning against the wall.

“Ready?” you nod at him and he starts walking with you down the long corridor.

“So what do you do for fun?”

“Oh you know the usual, get in fights in the alley, try to join the army, but mostly I like drawing and painting too.”

“So you’re an artist?”

“Something like that. How about you, what does the world’s best nurse do for fun?”

“Well I love finding good hearted men that fight bullies in alleys and then run tests on him to make sure he qualifies for super secret government experiments. Also I have a knack for befriending older scientists with accents.” You smile at Steve. “I do enjoy a good book too.”

“So what made you want to be a nurse?” Steve asked as you walked toward your room.

“My parents both worked and I had a younger brother that was sick a lot. I used to take care of him most of the time. What I really wanted to do was work in research to find a cure for one or some of his illnesses. We just didn’t have the money for school and my dad didn’t think a woman should be worrying about things like that anyways. Nursing was the next best thing and I would take what I could get. Erskine has given me a once in a lifetime opportunity by letting me work alongside him.”

“I think you’d be great at it. My ma was a nurse, I think if she had the chance she would have been a doctor.”

“What did you do before joining the army?”

“I just found work where I could get it. Not many people were willing to hire someone like me.”

You frowned slightly. The army you could understand, they needed healthy men to fill the ranks but that didn’t mean Steve wasn’t able to work.

“It’s not a big deal. I’m here now and that’s all that matters.”

“And you’ll go on to do great things, don't forget that.” You replied as you stopped in front of the room you had been given for your stay. Leaning forward you kiss Steve on the cheek causing him to once again turn a bright red. “Thank you for walking me over.”

“S’no problem. Goodnight.” He said as you walked in a grin broke out on his face as he touched the cheek you had kissed.

********************************************

The next morning had gone how every morning went while working with Erskine. Going over lab results and him teaching you a few things along the way. You cared for the older man as if he were a father and with a few little words he let you know you were like the daughter he never had. He always gave you a chance to review what he did and let you tell him your findings while correcting any mistakes you made.

As the day went on you met with Colonel Phillips out on the field. He was arguing with Dr. Erskine about who should be chosen as the first test subject. Talking about how Hodge was the best choice while putting Steve down, something you didn’t like one bit.

“Look at that, he’s making me cry.” He states as you three stop by a truck and watch the recruits doing jumping jacks, Steve doing his best to keep up.

“I am looking for qualities beyond the physical.” Erskine stated.

Phillips argued how long it took to get this project set up and how he had to basically beg some senator. You couldn’t be bothered to listen to him whining, your focus was on Steve and silently cheering him on. It’s also when you noticed a brunette who also had her eyes on Steve. She had a uniform on and you remembered that Erskine had told you about some agent from England that was also involved, maybe it was her. But you are brought back to the conversation at hand.

“He’s a bully.”

“You don’t win wars with niceness, doctor.” He moves around to the back of the truck and picks up a grenade. “You win wars with guts.” Phillip says as he pulls the pin and tosses the explosive toward the group of men.

“Grenade!”

“Move, move, move.” Hodges yells out. The men panic and run to hide behind whatever they can find. Steve however dives to cover the grenade with his body, shielding as many people as he can from the explosion.

“Get away! Get back.” he tosses the grenade away from himself. Hodge and the rest of the recruits get up again once they don’t hear it going off. A confused Steve starts looking around to see what’s going on.

“It’s a dummy grenade.” someone says.

“Is this a test?” Steve asks, first looking at the brunette before turning and finding you. A smile on your lips when your eyes meet, you give him a thumbs up.

“He’s still skinny.” you hear Phillips say. But it doesn’t matter as your attention changes from Steve to Erksine who is also smiling.

“Let’s go get everything ready, we have our candidate.” He tells you softly.

****************************

The day everyone had been waiting for finally arrived. The lab was already full, some government officials were taking their seats in the viewing room while Howard Stark was reviewing the capsule Steve would have to get into. You on the other hand were getting the serum ready as well as some other things for Dr. Erskine.

“Ready to make some history?” Howard asked as he rounded the capsule.

“Absolutely, are you?”

“Don’t tell anyone but I am a bit terrified.”

“Don’t worry Mr. Stark.”

“Please call me Howard.”

“Well don’t worry Howard, this isn’t your flying car.” you tease.

He points at you, “I’ll remember that.” he says before smiling back.

Before you could reply the double doors opened revealing Steve in his uniform and the agent from the base, Peggy Carter. Erskine walked up to them and pointed at the viewing room, Peggy left the men and headed up the stairs. Next he turned to find you and waved you over.

“Will you get him ready?” He asked once you joined them. You nod and he leaves.

“How are you feeling?” you asked Steve, who honestly looked a little terrified.

“I’m good. How are you?”

“Excited.” you beamed as you motioned for him to follow you. Once you were on the platform you turned back to him. “You’ll have to take your shirt off.”

“Oh, ok.” He unbuttons his shirt and hands it to you before removing his undershirt.

“This is Howard Stark, he’ll get you settled in.”

“Come over this way.” Howard gets Steve strapped on the table and makes sure Steve is comfortable. After getting the ok from Steve he turns to make some final checks on the capsule.

“How are your levels Mr. Stark?”

“Levels are at 100%. We may dim half the lights in brooklyn, but we are ready… as we’ll ever be.”

Erskine reassures Steve one last time before turning to the crowd watching above and giving some kind of speech. You moved to take the serum from the case they were in and place them in their in the machine Steve was in. Once you were done Steve grabbed your hand, sending a worried look your way.

“Everything will be fine. You’re the right choice Steve.” you squeeze his hand and smile at him before stepping away to grab a syringe. With a cotton swab and alcohol you clean a spot in his arm. “You’ll just feel a pinch.” you say before giving him the shot.

“Oh, that wasn’t so bad.”

“That was penicillin.” Erskine informs him, making you giggle. “Serum infusion beginning in 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1.” The sound of the tubes draining can be heard and Steve grimaces. “Now Mr. Stark.”

The capsule closes and moves to an upright position, the doctor checks on Steve one more time before Howard begins to turn up the power on it. The anticipation builds slowly and you feel your heart pounding in your chest as you watch. The light from inside gets brighter but Steve starts to scream as Howard announces that power is at 70%.

“Steven!” Erskine shouts as he tries to look into the small window. “Steven!”

From above you can also hear Peggy yell. “Shut it down!’

Erskine moves and starts shouting instructions at Howard. But you’re still stuck in your spot until you hear him say to shut it off.

“No. He can do it.”

“No, don’t. I can do this.”

Both you and Steve yell at the same time. Causing Howard to move back to the dial and keep going. The light gets even brighter as Howard announces 80%, 90% and finally 100%. His circuit board lights up, everything around short circuits. Erskine stands next to you in front of the pod waiting with bated breath as the doors finally open revealing a much taller and muscular Steve. He slumps forward and you and Erskine quickly move forward to catch him.

“How do you feel?” You ask as he stands up, taking a few deep breaths.

“Taller.” you smile up at him while another nurse passes him a t-shirt.

Everyone from the viewing room comes down, all of them talking over each other and exchanging congratulations. Peggy heads toward Steve and begins to talk with him when someone shouts and a gun is fired, taking Erskine down. You rush over and put pressure on the wound but from where it hit you know it’s fatal. Steve is there in an instant as you try to hold back the tears. The older man looks at you and points to your head and then looks at Steve and points to his heart before taking his last breath.

“No no no.” Your bottom lip trembles as you take the older man’s hand in your own.

Steve runs out of the room chasing the man that had killed your friend and mentor. Howard moved towards you to try and move you away from Erskine’s body when an explosion rocked the building filling the room with fire and smoke. Howard pulls you as everyone begins to run out of the lab.

***********************************

There was a huge commotion out in the hallway. Everyone ran around frantically trying to figure out how they were going to deal with the loss of the formula for the serum. No one cared for the life that paid the price, there was no grieving the great man that was Abraham Erskine. Even with his flaws and mistakes of the past weighing him down he still dreamt of a better future. It was a shame that he wouldn’t be there to watch it happen.

You sat in his office, where Howard led you to as he tried to talk with the colonel and the other government officials that were demanding he replicate the formula immediately. The noise grew louder for a moment before it was muffled once again behind the closed door. Your once white nurses uniform was now stained with blood, ash and tears while your hair fell out of the updo you had. The ringing in your ears gradually stopped the longer you sat there. None of it mattered because you had witnessed the worst thing imaginable, the loss of a friend at the hands of someone else. Too lost in thought you missed the footsteps getting closer to you, only when Steve crouched down in front of you did you realize you weren’t alone anymore. He was soaking wet and the white t-shirt he wore clung to his now muscular frame. One of his hands came up to your face gingerly and wiped away the tears that still fell while the other grabbed one of yours that was on your lap.

“I’m so sorry Y/N.” He said, his voice soft and comforting.

“Did you get him?”

“I did but he didn’t make it.”

You nodded but you barely looked at him, instead you stood and began to organize the files on Erskine’s desk. He had so much research and he’d let you go over all of it. He even gave you your own projects to work on so that you could gain the experience necessary for the field. Now being in his office those memories washed over you causing the ache in your chest to expand. It was all consuming and you didn’t know how to handle it. Sure you’ve lost people you cared about but they passed from natural causes. This was different, he had supported you more than your own father and now it was over. You tried to put your focus on the papers that were everywhere and chalkboards filled with his ideas and formulas and you began to get angry.

“Why does he have to be so messy?” You say as you slam a file down. “I was here yesterday and organized all of this, couldn’t he keep things in order for one damn day.” You complained as you sniffled. Steve stood there watching you for a moment before reaching out and stopping your movements.

He turned you around and pulled you into his chest, letting you cry as much as you wanted. In this moment Steve wished more than anything that he could turn back time and stop what happened. Once you calmed down enough the recently turned super soldier pulled back to look down at you. He reaches up to wipe away the tears.

“We’ll find the others that were involved and we’ll make them pay, I promise”.

“I’m sorry for… this.” You gestured at yourself vaguely.

“No need to be sorry sweetheart.” He gave you a chaste kiss on the forehead. Something he’s wanted to do since that night at the base. You look up at him with red rimmed eyes and give him a sad smile. The door opens and in walks Colonel Phillips and at least a dozen men. They begin to pack all of Erskine’s things.

“Hey, you can’t take that.” You argue as you pull some files away from one of them.

“Of course he can, this is government property. I’m sorry Miss but you’ll have to leave you no longer have any business being here, and you.” He points at Steve. “We have a special mission for you.” With that he walks out leaving you both frozen in place as the men work around both of you.

“Give them hell.” You tell him.

“I intend to.”

You gave Steve a final hug and a request to keep in touch before you watched him walk out of the door. He looked at you one final time before he disappeared. It would be months before you would see him again.

***********************************

Colonel Phillips screwed you over big time, he made sure you wouldn’t be able to sign up with the nurse corp. He stated that since you worked with Erskine it made you a target if anyone found out so really he was saving your life. Without much to do in New York you had decided to visit your aunt in Chicago to try and get away for a little bit. It ended up being a wasted trip as your aunt and new husband were headed to California a few days after you arrived but still they offered you to stay and house sit for them.

While walking down the city streets one day you saw a flier with a very familiar looking man on it. It had your blood boiling at the thought that this was Steve’s mission. Phillips really was an idiot in your opinion, you ripped the flier from the wall and headed in the direction of this supposed show. Although you were angry that Erskine’s work was being wasted you couldn’t help but be a little relieved that Steve was safe. It’s not that you had spent so much time together but you adored him. The few times you did spend together he was a gentleman and kind. You still regret not inviting him into your room that night at the base but it was too late for that now. The little hopes you had to see him were dashed by the time you got there it was over. You had tried to ask where the performers were staying but no one would give you an answer so feeling defeated you headed out of the theater. You took off in the direction of your aunt’s home, your eyes still on the flier when you ran into someone.

“I’m sorry.” You both said at the same time.

“Steve?” You say when you look up. Your eyes were wide and your mouth agape.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” He asked as he wrapped you in a hug which you returned.

“I came to see you but I missed the show.”

“You came to Chicago to see me?” He looked down at you, it was still fascinating to you how much the serum had changed him physically. That was something else you are angry about, Phillips didn’t give you a chance to take notes after the serum had been administered to have information before and after.

“No, I came to Chicago to see an aunt, I saw the flier and thought it was you so I wanted to see it for myself.”

He nodded as he scratched the back of his neck, you saw the embarrassment in his face but you needed to know what happened.

“Steve, why are you doing this?”

He sighed as he looked around and then at you. Steve felt like a failure every time he had to get up on that stage. He thought of Erskine and you and all of the work you had done. Mostly he thought about how much you believed in him and how he had let you down.

“Would you like to get some coffee or something and we can talk?”

“Yeah.”

He offered you his arm before leading you down the block. If the world wasn’t in the middle of a war and you didn’t feel at least slightly lost you would say that this was nice. Being on Steve’s arm felt natural and in all honesty you had missed him.

Once you found a diner a few blocks down from the theater you took a booth toward the back. The waitress came by and took your drink orders and left.

“So…” you said as you looked at him. You couldn’t help yourself and you studied his face, taking mental notes of the changes in his appearance. His hair, although combed up and back so that it was out of his face, seemed healthier and his cheeks held a healthy rosy tint along with his eyes which sparkled brighter.

“So.” He looked at you bracing himself for the disappointment he was sure to see on your face. “After that day I left with Phillips thinking he would send me overseas but he said he needed an army of super soldiers not just one man. He thought it would be more useful if I did the show to sell war bonds. It’s honestly embarrassing, I could be doing so much more if he would just let me go over there. I feel I’m back at square one except I don’t have asthma anymore.”

“He basically blacklisted me from the nurse corp. said that by helping Erskine I put a target on my back and if they found out and I was taken, he wouldn't bother to send anyone to get me.”

The waitress set Steve’s coffee down and your milkshake before leaving your table again.

“It seems he doesn’t really like either of us.”

“I’m going to reach out again, someone will listen. I didn’t volunteer for this to be stuck fake punching Hitler.”

You laughed at the image and then he started laughing too. When you quieted down you sighed and looked out the window.

“What are you thinking about?”

“How upset Erskine would be if he knew. How much I want to make those bastards pay and how much I missed you.”

Steve reached out and gently grabbed your hand, his thumb moving back and forth over your knuckles. “I’ve thought about you every single day.” He gives you a coy smile. “Come on, let’s enjoy the city while we can.”

Steve stood up and dropped a couple of bills before offering you his hand, which you took happily.

You walk around the city, sometimes in silence and taking it all in but mostly getting to know each other. He tells you more about his childhood and his best friend Bucky. You tell him more about your younger brother and your own best friend. But as it gets darker you know you have to part and the thought of not seeing him again saddens you. Before you realize it you’re standing on the front porch of your aunt’s house, the key in your hand while Steve stands behind you waiting for you to open the door and go in. Neither of you really want this night to end but he’s leaving for another city in the morning and you’ll have to start packing to return back home.

The soft click of the lock echoes in the silence between you and you push the door open before turning to look at Steve. He gave you a half smile, his eyes never leaving yours.

“So.” You both said at the same time making you both smile.

“I guess this is it.” He said.

“I guess so.”

Steve walked closer and placed a hand on your waist while the other cupped your cheek. Your own rested against his chest as you looked up at him.

“I’d really like to kiss you.”

“I’d really like it if you did.”

Steve moved until his lips were barely touching, still giving you the chance to back away. Instead you closed the small distance as your lips crashed against his. They were soft as they moved against yours, a sweet dance that turned passionate. You felt Steve’s hand move from your cheek to your neck so that he could deepen the kiss. His tongue explored your mouth as you moaned. But all too quickly he pulled back and cleared his throat. There was a blush creeping up on his cheeks and you smiled at him.

“Would you like a drink?”

“I should head back, we leave early.” His hands in his pocket.

“Of course.” You say. “Take care of yourself Steve.”

“You too. Maybe I can come find you back in New York once this is all over?”

“I’d like that.” You smile at him again. “Bye Steve.” You say before walking into the house and closing the door.

“Goodbye sweetheart.” He said to himself when he saw the light turn on.

You leaned against the door and wished he’d come in. The thought of him leaving again was going to hurt so much more the second time around. Turning back around you opened the door hoping that he wasn’t too far. Instead you find him walking up toward the porch. Steve stops in front of the steps and looks up at you. Your body, perfectly silhouetted against the light in of the living room. Slowly you walked out and down two of the three steps and found yourself eye level with Steve.

“Is that drink still on the table?”

“For you it is.” You grabbed his hand and led him inside.

Once the door was closed Steve pulled you close and turned you around to push you against the door. His lips crashed into yours, it was messy and hurried and perfect. Your arms found their way around his broad shoulders. Steve left a myriad of kisses on your cheek and jaw and onto your neck, he nipped and kissed his way down to the collar of your dress. You grabbed his face and pulled him in for another kiss, this one slow but just as needy. Once you pulled back you patted Steve on the chest twice so that he would move back.

“We should maybe move away from the living room.” You smiled as you grabbed his hand and pulled him toward your room.

Steve stands in the doorway, wanting to get closer to you again but still giving you a chance to stop. But you don’t want to stop, instead your hands reach for the belt that sits at your waist, made of the same fabric as your dress, and you pull on it. Then you start to undo the first button, your hands moving slowly as you keep your eyes on Steve. Arching one eyebrow at him.

“Are you going to stand there all night?”

Your question seemed to have pulled him back into the moment as he closed the gap between the both of you. His hands fall to your waist before pulling you closer.

“Are you sure?”

“You’re the only thing I’m sure about Steve.”

His lips are on yours in a flash and he swallows the small gasp you let out in surprise. Steve’s hands move from your waist to the front of your dress to undo a few more buttons before he pushes it off your shoulders. Once the dress hits the floor you step out of it, Steve’s hands are on your hips.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers as he picks you up, walks over to the bed and sets you down. Steve’s eyes drag from top to bottom making your cheeks heat up and you realize how exposed you are to him at the moment.

You push the leather jacket he’s wearing off his shoulders before starting to unbutton his shirt. Once he’s shirtless Steve hovers over you, slightly unsure of what to do next. The feel of your hands on his bare skin makes him shudder. He would never admit at how many times he fantasized of this exact moment, or if you would ever even look at him as more than some science experiment. Steve could question your affection as much as he wanted but he knew you cared way before he ever received the serum. It was always there in the way you looked at him and the way you believed in him unconditionally. No one other than his ma and Bucky looked past the physical limitations but you did. Even now when your lips found their way to his jaw and your hands explored his body you showed him how much you wanted him. So he moved to make sure you felt how much you mean to him.

Steve’s touch was gentle but lit your skin aflame as he moved from your waist to your back to undo your bra. Your lips met his, moving in sync as your tongues fight for dominance. The feel of his hands on your breasts and the way his mouth moved down to explore your exposed chest. Steve kept his lust blown eyes on your face as his tongue swirled around your nipple. A small gasp escapes you as your hips buck against him. Your breath hitches as you feel Steve move down leaving kisses in his wake, for a moment he stops on the band of your panties.

Those piercing blue eyes meet yours, his hands on your hips as he asks, “Can I taste you?” He hoped you didn’t hear the nervousness he felt, this was all new to him. Anything he knew was from when Bucky talked about it he just hoped that he remembered enough to make you feel good.

“Yes.” The thought of him between your legs alone was enough to make you wet but this would be so much better. Steve slowly pulls down your panties and tosses them to the side. He leaves a trail of kisses up your calves then your thighs until he’s settled comfortably between them. He didn’t hesitate to swipe his tongue through your folds, an action that had him groaning and you bucking your hips. Steve took his time, finding what made your breath hitch just from him using his mouth so that he could do it over and over again. His tongue flicks against your clit causing you to mewl. Your hands find their way to his hair, pulling it as you begin to feel your orgasm build.

“Steve,” You say as you feel him carefully slide a finger into your heat. Slowly he builds his pace before adding a second finger. The moan that leaves your lips when he curls his fingers is like music to his ears, and he wants to hear more. The feeling of you clenching around his fingers urges him to keep going. Steve works tongue over your clit before sealing his lips around the bundle of nerves. Your legs tremble and that coil in your belly tightens until it snaps. “I’m gonna-” you cut yourself off with a moan, your head thrown back and your eyes closed as your orgasm washes over you.

You feel Steve move some hair out of your face and you smile as you open your eyes.

“Was that ok?”

You nod before pulling him down for a kiss and tasting yourself on his lips. Your hands travel down his body until you reach his trousers where you feel his hardened length. You’ve never been with a man before but you’re a nurse so that body part isn’t as foreign for you as it is for most women and one thing you know is that he’s big. But you don’t waste your time thinking about if he’ll fit, your fingers working quickly to undo the button but before you get to the zipper he stops you.

“We don’t have to do anything else if you don’t want to.”

You smile up at him, of course he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable. “Of course I want to be with you Steve, I want everything with you.”

He smiles down at you, his eyes bright and full of adoration and lust and his kiss swollen lips meet yours again as he lets go of your hand. The zipper is pulled down and you push down his pants before Steve kicks them off. The blonde begins to settle between your legs again before he pulls back and turns around asking for you to give him a second. You’re about to ask him if he’s ok before he bends down to grab his pants, pulling something out of his pocket. He holds it between two fingers, a condom. You sit up and move towards him, your chest pressed against his back as you kneel behind him you look over his shoulder. Grabbing it you rip open the condom, Steve turns his head to look at you confused at what you’re doing before he feels your hand on his cock. The tip already has a bead of precum as you move your thumb over it before you move up and down slowly. His breath gets caught in his throat as you move slightly faster. He wraps his hand around your wrist.

“Sweetheart, I don’t think I’ll last if you keep going.” He whispers before letting your wrist go. You kiss his cheek before moving to put the condom on and then moving back to the bed letting him settle back down between your spread legs. “Are you sure?” He asks one more time. His breath fanning across your lips as he hovers over you.

“Yes Steve, I’m sure. Please, I need to feel you.”

You share a tender kiss as Steve lines himself up with your entrance and pushes in slowly. Once he bottoms out he rests his forehead against yours as he gives you time to adjust to his size. You feel so full with him even though there’s a little bit of pain. But you manage as you stare into those cerulean eyes that had burned themselves into your memory.

“Did you mean it?”

“What?” You ask as you hold on to his biceps.

“That you want everything with me. Because I’ll give you everything and anything you ask for.”

“I did, I want you.”

His lips capture yours again as he begins to move languidly. The pain quickly morphed into pleasure the more you relaxed . Your back arches into him before you start to move against him. Steve picks up the pace as the pretty little sounds you make spur him on. He hides his face in the crook of your neck while his hands find yours, fingers intertwined above your head.

“So good Steve.” You moan as you throw your head back in pleasure. You’re on the edge again and Steve groans when you clench around him.

Steve never thought he’d get a chance to be this intimate with a woman but now he’s glad it’s you. He’ll memorize the sounds you make, the blissed out look on your face, the way you chant his name like a prayer and the way you hold him close. Remembering how you came undone with his mouth on your clit, one of his hands snakes between both your bodies as he begins to circle where you want him most. The added stimulation has you falling off the edge with his name on your lips and your eyes closed.

“Fuck you feel so good sweetheart.” He mutters as his pace becomes uneven. A few more thrusts has him spilling into the condom.

Giving your hand a squeeze, Steve let’s go before shifting slightly and pulling out slowly.

He peppers your face with kisses before moving to lay down beside you. After a few minutes you sit up and start to move towards the edge of the bed.

“Hey where are you going?” He asks, concerned.

“I’m going to Um- clean up.”

“Don’t, stay here.” He gets up and removes the condom he used. Steve comes back with a hand towel soaked in warm water. He places a kiss on your forehead as the towel disappears under the blanket you were now covering yourself with.

At the sensation of the towel between your legs you hiss and he stops.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No, I’m just a bit sensitive right now.” You move your hand to his and guide him on what to do. He discards the towel in the small laundry basket you have in the corner and gets back into bed holding his arms open for you to snuggle into him.

Neither of you get much sleep, instead you enjoy each other’s company in comfortable silence. Time betrayed you, before you knew it Steve had to leave so that he could head to the next city on the U.S.O tour.

“I wish you didn’t have to go.” You tell him when he gets up and starts getting dressed.

“I wish I didn’t either.” He sits at the edge of the bed with his trousers and shoes on turning to look at you. It was a mistake because Steve finds a little pout and big doe eyes looking at him. “I’ll find you back in New York alright?”

“You promise?” You mentally curse yourself for sounding so insecure but you were in a very vulnerable position at the moment. Steve had been your first and you had been his. Now you wouldn’t be sure how long it would be before you saw him again.

“Of course I promise. I can’t leave my best girl waiting.”

He pulls a small smile from you with that. Steve leans in to steal a quick kiss and then proceeds to put on his shoes and his shirt followed by his jacket.

“Promise me you’ll be careful on your way back home.”

“I will.” You had grabbed your robe and tied it around your waist so that you could walk Steve out.

His hands sit on your hips as he looks at you fondly.

“I’ll see you soon, I swear.”

“I know.” You stand on your toes to reach his lips, kissing him passionately before pulling away from both the kiss and him. Already missing his warmth you unlock the door and open it for him. Steve leaves a chaste kiss on your forehead before stepping out onto the porch.

“I’ll see you soon sweetheart.”

“Take care of yourself.” You wave him off and watch him disappear before closing the door. Little did you know you would see him sooner than you would think.

****************************

Even with the limited times you’ve been on a plane you could definitely say this was the worst flight of your life. The turbulence was awful and you were sure that your grip on the armrests would break them if you had any real strength. But when Howard found you at the hospital you worked at and offered you a job that would take you overseas you jumped at the chance. Now here you sat getting ready to land in the worst plane ever made just so that you could help in the war efforts.

“How was the trip?” You’re greeted by a smiling Howard once you were able to get out of the plane.

“I’m never getting on one of your planes again Howard.” you glared at him before smiling.

“Oh come on it couldn’t have been so bad if you’re standing here.”

He moved around and grabbed your suitcase as some of the other cargo was pulled out of the plane.

“It really was. But I’m here in one piece and that’s all that matters. Now are you going to tell me what I’m meant to be doing? I know Colonel Phillips couldn’t have agreed to have me here.”

“He doesn’t really know, but that doesn’t matter because you are here as my assistant.” He offers you his arm considering the ground was uneven before leading you into the building. Howard dropped off your suitcase in his office before leading you into the main room of the building. The tension in the room was palpable as military personnel worked with urgency setting up maps and rearranging desks. Orders were being barked at the other end of the room by an all too familiar voice. There was a group of men huddled over one particular map which is where Howard was walking before he stopped. You looked at him to find him scanning the room, he stopped a pretty blond and asked for the captain. She directed him toward a corner of the room that had some shelves filled with boxes and documents.

“This way.” Howard said with childlike glee. It was slightly contagious and you found yourself smiling at whatever it was you were being led to. A smile that slipped when you saw Steve walking from behind one of the shelves in his uniform, but that’s not what upset you, it was the red lipstick on his lips and the woman that walked out beside him. You made eye contact with Peggy first, a smirk on her face as her hand found Steve’s. He hadn’t seen you yet, instead he was wiping away the lipstick and when he felt Peggy grab his hand he pulled away.

“What was that for?” He questioned her but he didn’t wait for an answer as he looked up at her and followed her line of sight, to find you standing next to Howard. He cursed under his breath when he saw the way your eyes shone with unshed tears. Howard whispered something in your ear and you turned to walk away. “Y/N?” Steve moved to follow you to explain what happened but he was stopped by the man that brought you here.

“Give her a minute.”

“What is she even doing here Stark?”

“I need an assistant, the Commandos need a nurse and this division needs someone that can figure out what Hydra is doing. She was the person closest to Erskine and his research. If anyone can figure out what they’re doing it’s her.”

“If she gets hurt because of you I’ll end you.”

“If you must.”

Steve shakes his head as he walks past Howard to try and find you.

“My office, Rogers.” Howard says over his shoulder before he turns back to look at the Brunette across from him. A scowl on her face when their eyes meet. “What the hell was that Carter?”

“None of your business.”

“You know how much she means to him and that I was bringing her into this. Did you do that just because he refused your advances?”

Peggy squared her shoulders and she started to walk away. “Who cares that she was there when he was small and weak, he isn’t anymore. He doesn’t realize that he can do so much better.”

Howard shakes his head before moving to his lab and where he told you to meet him at. He knew Steve would look for you so he told him to go to his private office to at least give you a few extra minutes. When he walked through the double doors he found you looking over some of Erskine’s documents, the ones that had been taken the day he was murdered. The saddened expression on your face warns him to give you some time alone, not only because of what you saw involving Steve and Peggy but because of what you were going over currently. It was like holding onto the last piece of the man that had given you a chance, one you thought had died with him that day, but here you are and you’re going to make it count.

You saw Steve out of the corner of your eye cautiously approach the desk you were sitting at. He cleared his throat in order to get your attention but you ignored him. It hurt to have missed him so much only to see him with someone else. Whatever excuse he had ready could wait, you weren’t here for romance, you were here to help end a war. It seemed however that Steve didn’t get the memo as he hovered beside you with his hands behind his back. You kept stealing glances at him and your resolve was slowly crumbling as you saw how handsome he looked in his uniform and how upset he looked at the fact that you were ignoring him.

Steve had enough of being ignored so he crouched down and swiveled your chair around so you had no choice but to look at him. Your eyes met his for a moment before you looked away, trying not to imagine him and Peggy kissing.

“Sweetheart,”

“Don’t call me that.” you huff.

“What else am I supposed to call my best girl?”

“Am I?” you fidget with a piece of thread that had been pulled from your shirt to try and keep your hands busy.

“Of course you are. Peggy just grabbed me and the moment she kissed me I pulled away.” His large hands envelope yours as he tilts his head to get a better look at you. “You gotta believe me Sweetheart. There’s no one I wanna kiss except you.”

“I guess, I could think about forgiving you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, but only because I missed you.” His eyes sparkle even against the ill lit room when you look back at him. Leaning forward your lips grace his before you ask, “It didn’t mean anything right?”

“Absolutely not.” His lips capture yours, reminding you of the softness of not only his lips but of the man that’s before you. Steve could be rough if he wanted to but instead he was gentle and sweet and this kiss was proof. He smirked when you pulled back, trying to catch your breath. Now his lips were stained with your own lipstick and his hands remained on yours, neither of you aware of the woman that watched it unfold.

****************************************************

“What about this one?” Steve grabbed a circular shield discarded by Howard as he was showing Steve the design for his Captain America uniform. He looked at you and held it in front of him and asked, “What do you think?”

“Let’s see.” Peggy, who had been walking by stopped, grabbed a gun that was on the table. To your horror she pointed the gun at Steve and fired it three times, all three bullets hitting the shield and then the floor. “Seems like it works.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” You fumed behind her, she only shrugged in your direction.

“I was only testing the quality of the shield.”

“You don’t do that while someone is holding it.”

“He’ll live.” she scoffs and walks away.

Steve handed the shield to Howard confirming that it was the one he wanted to use. Making his way over to you, Steve grabs your chin so that you can see that he’s ok.

“Hey, I’m fine. Really.”

“That’s not the point. She’s been nothing but a bitch since I got here. And now she’s being reckless.” You scowl.

“It’s only for a couple of more days. We’ll be heading out soon enough. Now do you have a few minutes there’s someone I want you to meet.”

“Yeah, lead the way my Captain.”

Steve led you down the main corridor toward what everyone referred to as the war room. It’s where the higher ups meet to make plans on where to go next. He opened the door to let you in first before walking in behind you. You found a group of men sitting around a map, none of them bothered to look up since someone was always coming and going from the room. There was a mixture of laughter and loud conversation happening amongst them.

“Hey fellas, there’s someone I would like you to meet.” The room fell quiet as all eyes fell on you and Steve, but mostly you. “This is Y/N, she’s going to be with us on the field. She’ll be acting as our nurse but also working with Stark to figure out what hydra is trying to do.”

Steve introduces each of the men. Dugan, Jones, Morita, Falsworth and Dernier all were part of the Howling Commandos.

“And this is Sergeant Barnes.” Steve beams at the brunette who has a smirk on his face. “My second in command and my best friend.”

“You’re Bucky?” Your eyes light up.

“I sure am darling. It’s nice to finally meet you in person, thought for a minute this punk was making you up.”

You giggle when you look back at Steve, finding him as red as a tomato due to his friend’s words.

“Well it’s nice to meet you too. I demand you tell me all of Steve’s embarrassing stories.”

“Oh I’ve got plenty.” he gives Steve a shit eating grin. “I like her already.”

Steve grumbles under his breath something about being ganged up on by his girl and his friend before he starts ushering you out of the room.

“Oh before I forget.” you stop and turn around to look at the men. “I’ll need you to come by Howard’s office first thing tomorrow, I would like to complete a check up on all of you so that I can have a baseline of where you are health wise.”

“Yes ma’am.” they reply before waving you off.

**************************************

You’d spent the day in your corner of the lab going over test results for the commandos. They were healthy enough considering they were in the middle of a war and about to head into dangerous missions. But right now you were looking for one person in particular. After searching the base you finally head outside to find Bucky lying down and hiding behind some bushes.

“What are you doing?” He jumps at the sound of your voice.

“You shouldn’t go scaring someone that’s holding a gun darling.” He said as he rolled on to his side. At the look of concern on your face he sits up. “What’s wrong?”

“I need to take your blood again.”

“Is something wrong? Am I sick? I don’t feel sick.”

“No nothing like that but I’d rather double check with a newer sample before I say anything.”

“Alright well let’s go I guess.”

He stands up, grabbing his gun and starts to follow you.

“So what were you doing?”

“Target practice. Just trying to stay sharp, you know.”

You hum in understanding. Stopping once in a while to let other people walk by the large field.

“Steve’s crazy about you, ya know.” Bucky says after a beat of silence. “I don’t think I’ve seen him this happy before.”

“I’m crazy about him too.” Warmth creeps up to your cheeks at the thought of Steve.

“Good, just please don’t hurt him. He’s a good man and an even better friend. Also he’s talked my ear off because he’s so smitten by you. I really wouldn’t want to deal with a heartbroken Steve.”

You laugh just as you spot Steve in the distance, walking toward both of you. “I don’t plan on hurting him one bit.” You say before the blond stops in front of you.

“Is everything ok?” He asks with his hands on his hips.

“Yeah I’m just going to rerun some tests on Bucky. I’ll meet you at the lab.” You tell Bucky before stealing a kiss from Steve.

He watches you leave with a dusting of pink on his cheek.

“Jesus, could you at least not make it so obvious you’re ogling her.”

“I’m not. Just making sure she gets in the building safely.”

“Yeah sure. Nothing to do with imagining all the dirty things you’d -“ Steve’s hand clamps over Bucky’s mouth to shut him up.

“Don’t talk about my girl like that jerk.”

“Sir, yes sir.” He gives a quick salute before laughing. “You hurt her though and I'll kick your ass punk.”

“I’m not planning on it.”

•••••••••••

After running some tests again you confirmed your suspicions. Quickly you went back to find Buck and Steve. Fortunately you find them with Howard this time. With as much as you trusted Stark this was a sensitive matter so you pulled both men into an office so that the conversation was private.

“Bucky, do you remember what they did to you when you were held?” You ask seriously.

“It’s a bit fuzzy but I remember being on an operating table or something. That’s where Steve found me.”

“Anything other than that. No needles or syringes or medicine?”

“Sweetheart what’s going on?”

“I do remember being strapped to a chair and someone putting a needle in my arm but I couldn’t really see what they were doing.”

It’s what you feared and the panicked look on Bucky’s face wasn’t helping.

“I know what Hydra is doing, or partially anyways. They’re trying to recreate Erskine’s serum.” You look between both of them.

“Wait, so what you’re saying is that Bucky also has the serum?”

You take a deep breath as you try to gather your thoughts.

“Yes and no. He has a version of the serum but not the same one as you. It’s missing components. So while Bucky is now stronger and more agile it’s not at the same level as you are.”

“Is that why I can’t get drunk?” Bucky asked, stunned at the news.

“Most likely. Now I can fix it but it will take a bit of time.”

“You can get rid of the serum?” Steve frowned at the possibility.

“No but I can create an altered version with the missing components so that you have the full effects. What do you say?” You anxiously wait for his answer. It’s a bit of a shot in the dark but why not have two super soldiers instead of one.

“Do it.”

“Ok, I’ll let you know when I have it ready. Also it’s better if we keep this between ourselves for now.”

Both men nod as you leave the office. Steve eyes Bucky worriedly.

“Stop staring, didn’t your Ma teach you it’s rude.” Bucky huffs. “I’m fine, I have been for weeks now. Besides, I'm in your girl’s very capable hands.”

“You’re right. Let's finish prepping for the first mission.”

***********************

The first mission had been a success. The commandos managed to clear out another weapons manufacturing factory for hydra. While most of them helped Stark look over some of the weapons, you had worked your way through the offices trying to find any information that might give you more insight as to how far along they are with the serum. You knew they had something already based on Bucky’s lab results but it wasn’t the full picture.

There were abandoned desks everywhere but you focused on offices. The higher ups in the organization would be the ones to have any important information. Time slipped away from you as you found some interesting leads but nothing on the serum.

“There you are.” Steve’s voice broke the silence. You only hummed in acknowledgment. “What are you up to?” He asked as he rounded the corner and began to look over your shoulder. “This is all in German. Can you read it?”

“Yeah, when I was younger my neighbor used to watch me and my brother and she barely spoke English. We were young enough to learn German without realizing it.”

“Ok, well we’re moving out in 5.” Steve smiles as he places a chaste kiss at the top of your head.

“I’m done here anyways. Nothing for me but I did find some leads for you.” You stood as you handed him a notebook with a map tucked into it.

“I’ll take all the help I can get.”

“Really?” You asked, giving him a mischievous look. With every step you took forward he took one back until he was pressed between your body and the wall. An amused look gracing his face.

“Have I told you how good you look in this uniform?”

He shakes his head, the hint of pink disappearing under the cowl he was wearing.

“Well you do. Very handsome… maybe I can take it off sometime.” Your hands found their place on Steve’s chest as you reached up to kiss him.

“Whenever you two are done in there we’re ready to leave.” Bucky’s voice rang out. Immediately you went to the door and stuck your head out glaring at him.

“Spoilsport.”

“You love me!” He winks at you before heading back outside.

“No I don’t.” You shout after him.

Steve stood at the door watching the interaction with a smile on his face.

“We should go,” he lowers his head so that he can whisper in your ear. “But trust me that I’ll let you take anything you want off of me sweetheart.”

•••••••••••••••

As the night went on the commandos found shelter in an abandoned cabin. Dugan and Morita were first to take watch as the rest settled inside. The fireplace was being used and everyone took a corner so that they could rest. You sat on the floor by a window, writing in your notebook as you worked on a modified version of the serum for Bucky.

“What are you working on?” Steve asked as he sat next to you.

“Research.” You looked from him to Bucky who was adding some logs to the fire. A silent understanding passed between you.

After a few more minutes of writing you put your notebook away in the pack you carried with you. You laid your head on Steve’s shoulder and sighed, tired from the day’s events.

“Go to sleep sweetheart. I’m right here.”

“What about you?” A yawn escapes you.

“I’ll be fine, I’ll nap in a little bit.”

“Ok.” You said with your eyes already closed. You felt Steve place a kiss on the top of your head before drifting off to sleep.

***************************

The next few months were the same. Bring down a hydra base, research and move on. It was a uniquely devastating situation to be in. There were many times in which you were close to losing one or several of the commandos during those missions. Fortunately your medical pack was always stocked and if it wasn’t hydra bases had the medical supplies you needed.

On one occasion, which caused yours and Steve’s first fight, you almost lost Falsworth after a group of hydra soldiers cornered him. He had been shot twice and although you were supposed to wait until you got the all clear from Steve to come down, you knew he wouldn’t hold on that long. So you move from your hiding spot, running for cover in between tanks and crates until you get to the fallen commando. You open your bag immediately and begin to look for what you’ll need.

“Ok Falsworth I’m going to move your shirt.” You say as you grab the hem and pull up. He winces between ragged breaths.

“Yo-you shouldn’t.” He groans as you touch the entry points to clean the area. “Be here. Rogers, he-he’ll be mad.”

“And that will be my problem when the time comes, but I’m not gonna let you die out here.”

There’s an explosion somewhere behind you and gunfire picks up.

“Behind you.” Falsworth warns and you turn in time to see hydra soldiers, guns drawn and headed towards you.

“Shit.”

You jump over Falsworth and grab his gun. Turning, you aim and fire, taking down one soldier. Another one falls as you shoot the third. Dropping the gun you turn back to your patient and work quickly, removing the bullets before stitching him up.

“Well look at that, it seems like you’ll live another day.” Dugan said as he approached. It’s when you realized the gunfire had ceased. Dugan helps Falsworth up.��

“He’ll need rest for a couple of days but he should be good.” You tell Dugan, “I’ll keep an eye on the healing to make sure you don't get an infection.”

Dugan pulled Falsworth with him and you kneeled to grab your medical bag from the floor. Two sets of footsteps approached as you finished grabbing your tools and putting them back in your bag.

“What were you thinking? You can’t just run down into the field like that.” Steve said sternly when he stopped in front of you.

“I was thinking that I was going to help someone that was hurt. A fellow soldier and a friend.” You looked at him, he was staring at you with a mixture of worry and anger. Bucky, who was standing beside him, was slightly amused although you could tell he had also been worried. “Thank you for the back up Buck.”

“You’re welcome darling.”

“That was dangerous and reckless.”

Bucky took a few steps back until he was able to sneak away from the impending lover’s quarrel. You moved around Steve to head towards the now abandoned building.

“That’s rich coming from you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means.” You stopped and turned around to find Steve right behind you. “You’re reckless all the time.”

“It’s my job.”

“And it’s mine too. We’re in the middle of the war. It's dangerous all the time and I wasn’t going to let someone die if I can help them.”

Steve put his hands on his hips and sighed. He knew you were right but just the thought of losing you scared him. You gave him hope for a future he thought he would never have and as long as you were both in the middle of this war there was a chance that he could lose it. Ever since you came into his life, especially after Chicago, he began to dream of settling down and having a family. Steve wanted everything with you but he also knew that you wanted more than to just be a housewife. It was something he admired deeply and he would be there to support you all the way. Still he cared about you so much that his instinct was to protect you more than anything else.

“I’m going inside.” You said before turning back and walking towards the building.

“I’ll keep an eye on her Cap.”

“Thanks Jones.” Steve said as Jones walked by. He turned to the other commandos to find them watching him, talking amongst themselves. Joking as they shook their heads at the blond super soldier. “What?”

“Nothing.”

They liked to tease him, it was very obvious the way he looked at you with heart eyes. They didn’t dare tease you though. You were like a little sister to them but you were fierce and you weren’t scared to put them in their place if needed.

“Hey Cap, she said she needs you and Barnes in there.” Jones had walked out about half an hour later.

“Thanks Jones.”

Bucky and Steve made their way into the building. All that was there was scattered papers and fallen hydra soldiers but they passed by everything and headed towards the lab where Jones said you would be at. They found you hunched over some documents and your notebook as you wrote quickly.

“Is everything ok?” Steve asked as they walked in.

“I finished it.” You looked up with a smile. “I found what I needed to complete the formula and I have everything I need here I can finish the serum. What do you say?”

“Let’s do this.” Bucky nodded, he was terrified but ever since Steve found him he hadn’t felt quite himself. He hoped this would be what was missing.

Both men watched as you moved around the room as if you’d always worked there. You turned when you were ready and you motioned for Bucky to sit on an exam table. He removed his jacket and rolled up his sleeve and watched as you cleaned an area on his forearm. Steve stood just behind you and watched as you injected Bucky with the modified serum, waiting for something to happen.

“That should be it.” You say as you step back and look at Bucky.

“Is something supposed to happen?”

“No-“ you’re interrupted by Bucky’s quick and shallow breathing. His hand comes to his chest and his eyes go wide. “Bucky tell me what’s wrong.” You say as you rush back to him but he falls to his side with eyes closed. He’s not breathing anymore and you try not to panic.

“Buck!” Steve called out but he felt stuck where he stood.

You moved to lay bucky flat on his back to figure out what was wrong when he sits back up causing you to scream.

“I’m just playing darling.” He says before he starts laughing at your startled expression. Steve has his head thrown back and his hand on his chest laughing at what happened.

“That’s not funny!” You cross your arms over your chest and glare at the brunette.

“Oh come on, you should have seen your face.”

Bucky jumps off the table and throws an arm around your shoulder, as he continues to laugh. You fail miserably to hide your smile before elbowing him in the ribs and walking away from his grasp.

“I’m sorry darling. I just couldn’t help it.”

“You’re not sorry at all.”

“You’re right I’m not.” He gives you a shit eating grin.

“Come on, I need to take your blood.”

Bucky sits back up on the table and lets you do what you need to do before you dismiss him. You move towards the microscope with your notebook and the blood sample in hand, aware that Steve is still in the room.

“Everything looks good.” You say after a few minutes.

“That’s good.”

“Yeah.” You say as you look back up at Steve.

“I’m sorry.”

“So am I Steve.”

He walks closer to you with a hand stretched out and you take it. Steve pulls you towards him.

“I just want to keep you safe. So that we can go back home and I can take you on a proper date.”

“What are we doing on this proper date?” You say as your arms wrap around his neck.

“I have it all planned out but it’s a surprise.”

“I like surprises.”

“Me too sweetheart.” Steve leans down to capture your lips in a sweet kiss.

“Come on, let's stop these assholes so we can go home.”

“Language.”

You smile over your shoulder as you pull him out of the lab.

************************************

Howard had managed to take the commandos from their last location in the middle of nowhere back to France. The commanding officers Colonel Philips included wanted an update from Steve so that they could figure out the next steps. The end of the war was near and everyone knew it. And as the holidays happened to be near you were given a small reprieve from being out chasing down hydra. The commandos had been given a few bedrooms at a hotel that was abandoned and then turned into a command center. Everyone enjoyed being able to shower properly and have some privacy.

Before you’re able to walk into the bathroom there’s a knock on your door and you’re not surprised to find Steve on the other side. When you open the door he rushes inside already dressed in his formal uniform looking as handsome as ever. His arms wrap around your waist as he kicks the door closed and pushes you against it. His lips find yours in a heated kiss and when he pulls away you’re gasping for air.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” You giggle.

“I feel like we’ve been here before.” He teases.

“Mm-Hmm. Chicago was very special.”

“It was. But I’m only here for a few minutes. I know you’re going to get ready for tonight. I just wanted to give you something.” He pulls a slim box out of his pocket and presents it to you. “I got this back home, after Chicago. Thought I was going back to New York instead of heading to war.”

You reach out and open it to find a gold necklace with a heart shaped locket. “Steve, it’s beautiful.” When you open the locket you find a picture of Steve tucked inside and you smile.

“Since I have your picture in my compass I thought that you could, I don’t know, have mine here.”

“It’s perfect, I love it. I’ll never take it off.”

You placed the locket in the box before wrapping your arms around him again and kissing him deeply.

“I’ll-uh I’ll let you get ready I’ll see you down there ok.”

“Ok.” You smile up at him before taking the necklace from him.

The pub is full of soldiers, laughter and music. All eyes are on you as you walk in. You had to remember to thank Howard before the night was done for convincing you to bring a dress with you. Your hair was up and out of your face and your make up was minimal and you wore the locket Steve had given you happily. The commandos were sitting towards the back and close to the bar. From the sound of their lively conversation it seemed like most of them were already drunk and the sight of several empty glasses confirmed it.

“There she is!” Dugan pointed as you walked toward their table. The other men whistled and whooped as you got closer. “Well don’t you clean up nice.”

“Well thank you Dum Dum, I could say the same for you. Even Barnes looks presentable.”

“Darling you wound me.” Bucky places a hand over his heart with a pout on his face.

“Yeah well it’s what you deserve.” You feel a hand on your lower back and turn to see Steve standing next to you.

“You look beautiful, sweetheart.”

“You look quite dashing yourself.”

This causes the others to tease as you both stare at each other with heart eyes and matching dopey grins.

“Dance with me?” He says with an outstretched hand.

“Of course.”

“We want a dance too.” You hear Falsworth call out.

“I’m sure Steve will be more than happy to dance with all of you once we’re done.” You wink at them before turning and walking towards the makeshift dance floor.

The small band made up of soldiers started playing a slow song. One of Steve’s hands went to your waist while the other held your hand, leaving you to put your free hand on his shoulder.

“I have to be honest, I'm not really good at dancing.” he confessed, almost as if it were an actual sun.

“You’ve never danced before?”

“Not really, no girls wanted to dance with me before.”

“Idiots.” You scoff.

“Would you?” He asked as he swayed with you.

“Would I what?”

“Have danced with me, you know before the serum.”

“Of course I would have. Pre Serum you has a very special place in my heart.” You smile up at him.

“I love you.” Steve said it so easily it was like he had said it a thousand times before and not for the first time ever.

“I love you too.”

Both his hands are on your waist as he pulls you in and kisses you, passionately and deep. The hoop and hollering from the commandos have you pulling back sooner than you would have liked.

“Well this is a nice first date.”

“Absolutely not. I want a proper first date and I have it all planned out.”

“So what is this plan?”

“Nuh-uh, it’s a surprise.” He smiles before giving you another kiss. “I will tell you that it will be the start of the rest of our lives.”

“I like the sound of that.”

When the music stops Bucky walks up and asks for a dance which you happily accept. The song is slightly more up beat and you can tell that he is definitely the more experienced dancer. You laugh with Bucky as he spins you around and he tells you stories of his and Steve’s adventures. Half way through the dance you see Howard and Peggy walk in. She makes her way to Steve quickly which earns an eye roll from you.

This time when the music stops Howard walks over, without asking he takes your hand and leads you in a dance. But your eyes are on Steve who reluctantly accepts Peggy’s invitation for a dance.

“With the look on your face someone might think I’m a terrible dance partner.” Howard’s voice cuts through your thoughts.

“Sorry, it’s just…” you motion with your head towards them.

“Ah yes, well you shouldn’t worry. Steve only had eyes for you, no matter how much Peggy throws herself at him.”

“Well she looks pathetic, and desperate.”

Howard chuckles at your words.

“How is the research going?”

“It’s going well. Did you get the information I sent you?”

“Yes I did very interesting but something is missing.”

“I agree, but I’m close to the last part of the serum’s breakdown. I think we’ll have a new version out soon. Hydra isn’t even close to it from what I’ve found.”

“Well at least that’s good news.”

You look over to see Steve stepping away and leaving Peggy in the middle of the dance floor. He looks furious and he heads out the door.

“Howard, if you'll excuse me.”

“Of course. It was good seeing you stay safe.”

“You too.” You head out the door and look for Steve, finding him around the corner from the building.

“Hey what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just left before I said something I would regret to Peggy.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“She wanted to go back to my room. I told her that I wasn’t interested. I love you but she won’t accept that. And- you know what it doesn’t matter because I’m here with you.”

“So would you be willing to go back to my room with me?” You say with a bit of a smirk.

“I’d go to the ends of the earth with you, sweetheart.”

“Come on then, the end of the earth is this way.”

He chuckles as he lets you grab his hand and pull him down the street toward the hotel you’re staying at. Not even halfway through the walk some soldiers get into a fight and Steve stops.

“Why don’t you go on ahead, I’ll take care of them.”

“Ok.” You kiss his cheek. “I love you.” You whisper before you keep walking down the street.

Right as you’re about to walk into your room you feel hands around your waist and you turn your head to look at Steve and panic sets in. You fight to try and free yourself from the hold whoever it is has on you but it’s not working. The hotel is practically empty and no one hears your pleas for help.

In that moment you knew that the last time you ever saw Steve was down in that street.

*********************************

You take a deep breath as your eyes flutter open. The cold from the chamber you’re in seeps into your bones. You feel disoriented as the chamber door opens and you wait for whoever is going to drag you into the lab but no one comes. On shaky legs you step out, holding on to the edge of the cryogenic chamber and you look around. The room is empty which is unusual. It’s usually full of hydra soldiers and technicians but you finally think it’s your chance to escape. You aren’t even sure how long it’s been since they put you in there but it doesn’t matter. If you can escape and find anyone you can hopefully get back to Steve and that’s all you want. Knowing him, he’s probably blaming himself for what hydra did. You open the metal door slowly, listening for anyone that might be wandering in the corridor. When you’re satisfied that it’s empty you walk out. The silence is good you think, it might mean that Steve and the commandos found you and they’re just working their way down to this level.

After a few more steps you see someone turn a corner and you’re stuck where you stand. Not sure if they’re friend or foe you panic thinking they might be the latter.

“Y/N?”

You recognize that voice. It’s a friendly voice and you’re flooded with relief. They walk closer and the light from the window illuminates Bucky’s face.

“Y/N, is that really you?”

“Bucky!” You choke out before you take a few steps towards him. Bucky bridges the gap as he drops his weapons. His arms wrap around you in a comforting hug.

“Oh darling, I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

You can’t even respond as you cry into his chest.

“We have a friendly I’ll be right up.”

You look up at him confused as to who he might be talking to but he ignored the look you gave him.

“Can you walk?”

“Barely. I’m not sure how long I’ve been in that thing.” Your throat is dry and your voice comes out raspy.

“It's ok, I’ve got you. Just give me a sec.”

He grabs the gun he had dropped and he holsters it before scooping you up bridal style. He moves fast up the hallways and climbs the stairs two or three at a time. Bucky held on tight to you, he was shocked that he’d found you well and he was sure that the news of you being ok. You blinked a few times trying to adjust to the bright rays of the sun, it made you wonder how long had hydra kept you in those labs.

“Can you open your eyes for me darling?”

You blink slowly as you look up at Bucky. He gives you a lopsided smile before moving around you. You were currently strapped down in a seat but Bucky was there so you weren’t scared.

“You’re most likely dehydrated so we’re going to give you an IV ok.”

“Did you replace me as the team nurse?”

You hear him chuckle beside you. It is when you first look around and you’re again confused by your surroundings and then wherever you’re in moves.

“It’s ok, You’re on a jet.” Bucky reassures you. “Clint is flying the jet.” Bucky pointed toward the front of the plane. “And this is my friend Nat, she’s going to help with the IV.”

You look over to find a redhead walking towards you. She nods and gives you a small smile. She’s wearing a black suit that’s very form fitting and you look at her confused. Nat works quickly and sets up the IV, only doing so because Bucky’s hands were shaking so much.

“When did they change the nurses uniform? Have I been out that long?” You ask and you notice the way Nat looks at Bucky, concern written on her face and you turn to look at Bucky. He won’t meet your eyes. “Bucky, what’s going on? And where’s Steve and the others?”

“Darling…” his voice cracks and a tear slips down his cheek.

“Buck please, how long has it been since the night at the pub?”

“It’s been 72 years.” He whispers and you gasp.

“That’s not possible. Where are the others? Howard and Dum Dum, the rest of the commandos?”

He looks at you with tears in his eyes before he looks away. Bucky shakes his head. They’re gone, all of them and it breaks your heart. How is it possible you had seen them a few weeks ago, they were supposed to find you and everything was going to be ok. You cry for all of your friends.

“Steve’s alive.” Nat offers.

“Did he live a good life?”

“Barely, he’s missed you too much. He blames himself.”

“Will you take me to see him?”

“As soon as we land. I promise. Why don’t you get some rest.”

“I still don’t understand how you look so young.”

“I’ll tell you later.”

“Ok.” You say before your eyes close.

*****************************

“Darling, wake up.” Bucky says. “Y/N are you with me?”

“I am.”

“Let’s get you up.” You open your eyes to see him stand and move around to undo the IV. “We’re going to land in about 5 minutes.”

“Ok.”

You look down as you prepare yourself for whatever is going to happen next. If it really had been so long since you were taken that means you have no one left and you weren’t sure how you were going to survive now. Bucky was there and of course he would help you, you know that but your family is gone and you never had a chance to say goodbye. The life you wanted next to Steve is gone too. The thought of seeing him is turning your stomach into knots and you can’t even picture him looking much older. You try to picture him with graying hair but it hurts too much that you didn’t get to grow old together.

“Alright darling let’s go.” Bucky offers you his arm as he leads you down the ramp of the jet.

There’s two men waiting by the landing pad. One of them was shorter with glasses while the other was taller and he was vaguely familiar. Nat and who you assume is Clint walk by you and into the building.

“Y/N this is Dr. Bruce Banner and this is Tony Stark, Howard’s son.” Bucky introduces you and you stare at Tony wide eyed.

“Hi, I-uh I worked with your father.”

“I know, he talked about you all the time.”

“And I’m a fan of your work.” Bruce offered his hand and you gladly accepted it.

“My work?”

“Yes, your notebook that was recovered in your room. It had a lot of great work in it. I’d love to go over it with you and show what scientists were able to do with your information.”

“I would like that very much.” You gave both men a small smile.

“I know that you must be feeling confused about all of this.” Tony waved his hand around. “But just know that we have a place for you here and if you need anything you just let me know.”

“Thank you Tony.”

“Alright we have one more stop before we get you settled.” Bucky says as he guides you towards the entrance. You follow him down a hallway and go up a few floors, having to stop a few times because you’re just tired. Bucky tries to explain the different floors but you can’t keep up. As you turn a corner Bucky explains that you're in the housing section of the compound and that most of the avengers, which he also explained on the way to this floor, lived at. Nat was already standing at a specific floor with another man.

“You must be Y/N, it’s great to finally meet you. I'm Sam.” He walks over to you and offers you his hand which you shake.

“Hi Sam.”

“The door is locked.” Nat informs Bucky, causing him to sigh.

“Friday, unlock the door.”

“Sergeant James Barnes access granted.” You hear someone say and you look around for the source.

“That was the building talking.”

“What?”

“I’ll explain later. Come in.” Bucky opens the door and you look at Sam and Nat as they both take a black square out of their pockets.

“What are those?” You ask them.

“Later.” They say in unison.

You walk in behind Bucky into an apartment. Although everything you’ve seen so far is new and you don’t understand half of it, this place feels like home. It has many of the things you do recognize and you think it belongs to Bucky but then you hear him call out.

“Hey punk, get out here.”

Your heart starts racing at the thought of seeing Steve so soon. There’s no going back now. Before you can escape you hear a door open and you brace yourself to see the love of your life. Then your breath hitches because he’s standing across the living room and he looks upset. Bucky and Sam are blocking you from his view but you can see him clearly. He’s still the Steve you left behind.

“What is it?” He asks as he plays with something in his hand.

“I have a surprise for you.”

“Buck I’m not in the mood fo-“ his words are caught in his throat when Bucky moves to the side. Steve’s mouth was slightly parted and his eyes were open wide as he stared at you.

“Steve.” You say softly, your voice still slightly raspy but it’s music to his ears.

Steve is stuck, frozen in place and he feels as if the wind’s been knocked out of him. You stood in front of him looking exactly how you did the night he lost you. He wanted to touch you, to hold you in his arms so that he knew it wasn’t another dream but he swore his feet were glued down. It didn’t matter because you moved towards him, in fact you ran and his arms opened just in time to catch you. And suddenly it wasn’t a dream anymore because you were there and he felt your tears on his shirt. When you pulled back he looked into those bright eyes he adored so much.

“Sweetheart. Please tell me I’m not dreaming.” He whispered.

“I’m here. This is real.”

You cupped his face with both your hands and he put his forehead against yours. As his tears fell you wiped them away.

“I’ve missed you so much. I’m sorry I didn’t find you. I should have tried harder.”

You pulled him in with a kiss to quiet his apology. He kissed you back with everything he had.

“It’s not your fault. Hydra knew I worked with Erskine, they wanted the formula. I know you did everything you could to find me.”

“It wasn’t enough.”

“I’m here now and so are you. That’s all that matters.”

“They’re so cute. I’m gonna send this to everyone.” You heard behind you and you turned to find Sam, Nat and Bucky watching you, each of them with a smile on their face.

“Ok that’s enough.” Steve tells them.

“Oh come on, she’s my friend and I did find her.”

“But she’s my girl, now get out.”

“I’ll see you later though right Bucky?”

“Of course darling.” He walked towards you and wrapped you in another hug and as he pulled away you noticed his left arm. “It’s a long story and I’m sure I’ll explain everything later.” He kissed your forehead and left, taking Nat and Sam with him.

“Sweetheart, are you ok?”

“No, yes, maybe. I just can’t believe it’s been 72 years.” You turn to look at him. “How do you still look the same age?”

Steve sat you down and explained everything that happened after you disappeared. He told you about everything they did to try and find you and Bucky’s fall from the train. His fight against Red Skull and how he said you were dead. The plane full of bombs that he crashed and how he himself woke up in the future.

“Steve, I can't imagine how that must have been for you.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” He cupped your cheek, his thumb swiping back and forth while he looked at you. Steve studied your face and you did the same. “I have something for you.”

“What?”

He pulls out what he was playing with when he first walked out from his pocket.

“My locket!”

“I found it on the floor that night.” You turned so he could put it on.

“I know there’s a lot for you to figure out, so what do you want to do first? Are you tired, do you want to rest?”

You shake your head. “I want what you promised me.”

“What I promised?” He tilts his head slightly confused.

“Yes, a date. A proper one.”

Steve smiled and pulled you into his lap so that you could straddle him. You yelped in surprise as your hands landed on his chest. One hand was on your waist while the other cupped your cheek.

“A proper date it is.” He said before pulling you in to kiss you.

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