#Doc watches Bojack horseman

[docholligay]

The best thing about this episode is the way it plays out the unique pain of grieving someone you do not love. Or worse maybe even, someone you did love, once but they disappointed you so intensely that all you can feel is rage and despair.

Bojack actually doesn't have to be giving this eulogy at all. That's not a requirement. There's no rule that says you have to have any kind of funeral at all.

But he does. And he keeps going on, even after he says that he has nothing more to say about his mother. Because he does. He has so much more to say, and there is no other place in his life where he will ever just be allowed to talk about his mother and the way he felt about her, outside of the therapy that he is absolutely not going to go to.

Complicated grief is an interesting thing, and for my money it's harder than "normal" grief (if grief is ever really normal) and that's why this is one of my favorite episodes of anything ever, is I'm not sure I've ever seen it dealt with where the emotions are so much more than just sorrow. Sorrow isn't easy, but it is simple.

But, what Bojack goes into, is anger, and disappointment.

It starts with him continuing to joke, with telling his mom to knock once if she's proud of him, and him saying how nice it is to be in a room with his mother and just be able to talk without her telling him to shut up. It's this knife tip, just working its way out of Bojack's mouth, and the jokes keep coming, but they are less funny and more this weaponized humor.

Then even that breaks down, and he starts to realize what the problem was, what the problem has always been. Even while he's realizing that he is perpetuating this same set of problems, he's thinking about the grand gesture. And how Tv convinced him that someday, he would see the one thing that let him know his parents loved him.

But it's the consistency. I love the way here, he basically yells at the coffin.

To love someone who has consistently disappointed you, to be joined with them, and the rage that comes out of that, it's so real. And Bojack can't even look at his parents and say, 'You tried" because they didn't. They didn't try even one day in their lives. Not with him. But there are so many people in our lives we allow to disappoint us over and over again, and when they die, or leave your life completely, you have this realization, that, they were never ever what you needed. You convinced yourself that maybe someday they would be, but they were never going to be, maybe they even couldn't, and then YOU feel like the fucking idiot. For wanting it. For thinking that it could happen. And then we're all Bojack here, yelling at a dead body, and it's worse than pointless, and that is part of the complication of this grief, is, not only is it not going to get any better, but you can't even offload it back onto that person. You have to swallow your role and their role in it all, forever.

And then we come back to that "Knock once." asking her if she loved him and wanted him to know that he made her life a little brighter. He knows she won't knock, he knows she can't respond. It's still a joke but it's a joke he's playing on himself.

This anger, that she was never going to be the mother he needed, comes around at the end in some of the best stuff, and this is the kind of stuff that gets it so right that it causes me physical pain.

The worst part, of someone dying, that you have a difficult relationship with, is that it will never get better. Someone disappoints you, and they disappoint you more, but then someday, they die, and they can never ever get better. They can never turn it around and they can never make it right. "My mother is dead, and everything is worse now, because now I know I will never have a mother who looks at me from across a room and says, “BoJack Horseman, I see you." WHile someone is alive, they could always get better. At one point in my life, I was a selfish, mean-spirited person who spent my days doing whatever I wanted and my nights drunk, and doing whatever I wanted. I didn't do anything that would put me out. I got better, because I lived long enough to pull my head out of my ass.

But when someone doesn't do that. When you wait for them to have some epiphany, and hold out their hand, and do better, and then suddenly, they can't, and, everything is going to be stuck, the way it is. It is the death of possibility that makes this sort of complicated grief so painful. Someone who was wonderful dies, you miss what they were, but someone difficult dies, you miss who they could have been, and that's so impossible to describe to someone that I had never seen it well done, before this episode.

[antiradqueerguy]

prevs anon here, i decided i am too fucking distressed to make the google doc

well go drink a glass of water, do like a couple squats, listen to either the bojack horseman intro or watch this,

let yourself breath and then comeback and decide whether or not you still want to make it,

Edit: This video is better Link (TW for blades)

[weaselbeaselpants]

LilyOrchard video series you should see

It's nice to see LilyOrchard getting called out by someone who's not an unlikable KiwiFarmer, people with their own petty vendettas, or just genuine transphobic dbags for a change. EssenceOfThought also specializes in this stuff, so that helps a lot.

Hearing and reading Lily's old and new shite is...disturbing.

cw: grooming cw: sexual abuse cw: abuse

To tl;dr for a bit, basically half of her bullcrap would be a non issue if she actually fucking apologized and didn't double down. Not that that excuses her (accidental or not) predation, it just makes it so much worse that she basically is going "no, you" at her own victim. yikes.

The way she just brazingly misgenders Essence is upsetting too. Like, I guess I have no real bone here but holy shit Lily. You found out Ethel's pronouns are she/they and you still keep calling them a 'him', and a TERF no less?

"Other youtubers get Vulgar". Are they near fandom-exclusive to mostly children's media except when explicitly notso? No? Then yeah- Hazbin Hotel and Bojack Horseman theorists get to swear and curse and talk heavier topics like abuse because their shows aren't intended for children. This is such a big offset trigger for me, both back in the days of MLP and in cartoon fandoms in general- have some goddamn boundaries with kids and teenagers!!! As an adult, you are allowed to watch and enjoy whatever you want, BUT it's on you not to keep ur shit "vulgar free" because kids are untouched angels or some shit, but because you're the ADULT and you should be trying to protect from stuff that isn't their business to see.

Her speech abt what minors should do to bullies has always deeply upset me so that wasn't fun to revisit. Child of two teachers here but if you ever try dealing with a physical bully like that irl, you will absolutely NOT be "just suspended".

The worst part of all of this was finding the receipts and STILL EXISTING links to Stockholm, which absolutely ruined my night. Do not read them. Just the plot disc were immediate

for me. Brought back some unironic fandom ptsd.

Please, Essence, don't read it. Google docs is enough for non assholes to do their part.

[aestheticallynotdeerlightful]

It would be super cool to see your voice claims for the characters!

VOICE CLAIMS WOO!

Okay okay so this is a very long list, because I’m indecisive, and originally I would’ve loved to make this a video but alas I do not how to edit, nor do I own my computer, so it’ll have to wait

I was debating if I should of just sent my Google doc here of everything (because that doc has even more then I’m sending here) but I decided to just- copy and paste some of it so apologizes in advance for the length!

This list is very extensive and I’ve pulled voices from ALL over the place, I haven’t even watched all these shows, most of this I’ve just seen through clips and went “omg it’s perfect” so it’s a mess I’m sorry akdjsjd

Long post ahead!! (Italicized font are the ones I especially like the most)(I’ve also included links to some of these if you’ve never heard them)

UNDERTALE

Frisk

•Gregory (Over the garden wall)- Colling Dean

•Jessica (Craig of the creek)- Lucia Grace Cunningham

•Chihiro (spirited away English dub)- Daveigh Chase

•chowder (chowder)- Nicky jones

•niki yang, BMO (adventure time), Candy (gravity falls)

Flowey

•Yakko Warner (animaniacs) -Rob paulsen

•Richard Horvitz

Toriel

•Sigourney weaver

•little foots mother (land before time)

•Kala (Tarzan)- Glenn close and Kat cressida

•freya (god of war)- Danielle bisutti

Napstablook

•Sadness (Inside out)- Phyllis smith (although maybe a tad pitched down. But only a smidge)

Sans

•Herb (BoJack horseman)- Stanley Tucci

•Bob (bobs burgers)-H. Jon Benjamin

•Moist Cr1tikal (the YouTuber)

•Revtrosity (also a YouTuber)

•Red guy (DHMIS) -Joseph pelling

Papyrus

•Jacksepticeye (you all know who that is.)

•Scudworth (clone high)

•Skeletor (he-man) (I think this one speaks for itself)

•revtrosity (YouTube)

Monster kid

•Darwin Watterson (Gumball)

•Steven universe- Zach Callison (specifically young steven)

•Wybie (Coraline)- Robert Bailey Jr

Grillby

•Jack Skellington (nightmare before Christmas)- Danny elfman and Chris Sarandon

•Wirt (over the garden wall)- Elijah wood

Gaster

•Narrator (the Stanley parable) kevan Brighting

•bubo (bubo)- James dijit

•knight lautrec (dark souls)

•Sasha barbicon (titanic adventure out of time)

Undyne

•Jasper (Steven universe)- Kimberly brooks

•kuvira (legend of Korra)- Zelda Williams

•Yunan (amphibia)

Alphys

•Peridot (Steven universe) -Shelby Rabara

•Lara Jill Miller

Mettaton

•ENA (ENA)- Gabe V and Lizzie freeman

Mettaton Ex

•Alaska thunderfuck (hieeeee)

Burgerpants

•Hiccup (HTTYD)- Jay baruchel

•Randell(monsters inc)- Steve Buscemi

Asgore

•Mufasa (lion king)

•Aslan (Narnia)- Liam neeson

Asriel

•Lewis (meet the robinsons)

•kubo (kubo and the two strings)- art parkinson

•yes hear me out: Max (camp camp) -Michael Jones

Hyperdeath Asriel/Adult asriel

•Anakin (Star Wars)

Chara

•Connie (Steven universe)

•Kristofferson (fantastic mr fox)- Eric chase Anderson

•Marcy Wu (amphibia)

•Demetri (cobra Kai the karate kid saga continues)

•Ronno (Bambi)

Temmie

•Happy (Fairytail)- Tia Ballard

Mad dummy

•Blitzo (Helluva boss)- Brandon rogers

Gerson

•Yule (Mune: guardian of the moon)- (it’s the large green old guy)

That’s it for the Classic cast so far, I’ll make a seperate post this with my picks for the Environmentalshift au and other miscellaneous voices at a later time. This took forever

Maybe someday I’ll turn this into a video. So it’s easier

[worldismyne]

Youtubers to hyper fixate to

Youtubers that make good long vids that help me when I have to do chores or want to drive. Min video length to make this list was 20 min. Many have 1 hr+ vids. Enjoy.

Media Analysis

Overly Sarcastic Productions (Link is to the Trope Talk playlist of trope analysis vids, also includes historical vids and myth vids as well as media discussion podcasts)

Mic The Snare (music analysis, history, band deep dives, and recommender of good music)

Folding Ideas (Video essays on how media impacts the human experience)

Schaffrillas (Video essays on disney/dreamworks properties. Also did a fantastic deep dive series on Bojack Horseman)

Cinema Therapy (A director and a therapist break down popular movie characters and relationships)

Thomas Flight (the one exception to the length rule, they're that good)

Khadiya Mbowe (More pop-culture centric, but media comes into it)

Nostalgic Properties

Toonrific Tariq (Cartoon retrospectives with an ear for music and an eye for stylistic direction)

Billiam (Y2K tv and toy retrospectives, the Lost series is unhinged in the best ways)

Izzzyzzzys (Video Essays on 2000s internet phenoms and tumblr legends)

Negative Legend (Toy reviews and TV retrospectives)

Defunctland (Theme park and tv historical deep dives)

Jenny Nicholson (Video Essays on super niche topics, but I'm here for it)

Nick DiRamio (Film analysis/breakdowns of straight to tv movies from 2000s to now, also pokes at pureflix and youtubers)

Brutal Moose (Playlist links to blank vhs tape deep dives, also fond of his game reviews covering things like Pajama Sam)

For the Meme

Internet Historian (Meme history and a bunch of quality docs on media phenomenon)

Quinton Reviews (plz watch his Fallen Titans series about big youtubers from the 2000s and anything Garfield related. The nickverse stuff is good, but all of it's good).

Eddy Burback (A lil of everything, also watched morbius 5x in a row without paying for it)

HBomberguy (Long essays on how people fall victim to false information as well as media analysis)

The Same Stuff but LGBTQ+

Verilybichie (Media analysis, bi and sapphic focused and includes LGBT history vids)

La' Ron Readus (Media analysis with an eye for queer subtext and history: UNDERATED AS HELL)

Kaz Rowe (History buff: covers several eras and LGBT specific topics)

Rowan Ellis (Media analysis and fanfic/trope analysis, has a great vid on cottagecore )

Strange Aeons (Local tumblr historian and lover of long Furbys)

[atinyladybug-daydreams]

Ya got any good shows/movie reqs? Im bored as hell

Arcane. Yes. Arcane. That league of legends series. It's good animation. Big warning for flashing lights. And a lot of emotions. Available on Netflix I think.

Coraline. If you've watched it before, watch it again. I don't care. It's good

The Menu. My babygirl movie. Absolutely love. Slight suicide warning.

Puss in Boots 2: The Final Wish. El Lobo is my furry awakening.

Brand New Animal (BNA). It's on Netflix. Good series.

Bojack Horseman. One of my favourite adult cartoon. Deals with a lot of dark topics though so approach with caution. Absolutely love. I finished the entire series and I still love it. Big big warning for drugs, sex, alcoholism, addiction, suicide, depression, abuse, abuse, flashing lights and pedophilia-aligned stuff. Available on Netflix.

Any Phantom Of The Opera movies. Fuck, watch all of them. (@javascriptx64 has a google docs of all the movies and the links to each one)

I personally like watching Hell's Kitchen, Masterchef and Kitchen Nightmares. Listen, it's mindless entertainment. And for Masterchef, I personally prefer the Canadian version. America's too dramatic.

If you wanna try something that's more Internet-based, I heavily suggest Marble Hornets. We love an actual good Slenderman series. A classic, actually.

Nixonverse Analogue horror for some real mind fuckery. Big TW on Unreality on that one. I don't know what's going on in that one. @bungerisme just grabbed me by the neck and dragged me to hell with it.

If you wanna be real fucked up and really cure your boredom, dive into Analogue horror. I heard about Mandela Catalogue but I can't look at it because distorted faces gives me severe anxiety :')

Not really a movie but Faith is a great game and you should watch a playthrough of it. It's long but GOD the game is made with so much love and the fucking storyline is wild. Watch ManlyBadassHero's playthrough cause he does actually discover and goes through every single secret.

Recommendations from @bl00dbite that I haven't watch yet:

Agretsuko

Train to Busan

Derry Girls

Bluey

Saw 3 (Big Gore Warning ofc)

[dovahnap]

More hypotheses I have considered:

-that I have been under surveillance for some time

-that my iphone is constantly watching and listening to me and has been for some time, witnessing all sorts of private moments (in the worst version of this, said private moments have been used as objects of bile fascination for wannabe ubermenschen)

-that my entire google docs account, search history, and YouTube accounts have been analyzed, revealing my dumbest hopes and dreams and and deepest fears and insecurities

-that my Microsoft account was hacked and many attempts at writing, including a shitty partial draft of my Donna Tartt/ASOIAF/Taylor Swift/Bojack Horseman/Mountain Goats/Wittgenstein’s Mistress high school au fanfiction was leaked to a cadre of microcelebrities

-that a suicide note I wrote in the notes app during a moment of deep psychosis was leaked as well

-that my entire family has faced similar invasion of privacy

-that the people who have done this somehow see themselves as the good guys, or simply do not care because they think good is dumb and anime villains are super based (lmao weebs)

-that because I’m not filming videos of myself crying or foaming at the mouth trying to get revenge I was not really adversely affected.

- strict utilitarianism is a shitty worldview

[helv-ete]

Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you'd like to know better

@apersonwholikeslotus thanks for the tag!!

What book are you currently reading?

I don’t read books that often unless I have to, but rn I’m reading A Christmas Carol bc I’m watching through most all of the film adaptations and I wanted to compare it to the book. After watching ~50 Christmas carol movies in like 2 months it isn’t really anything special.

What's your favorite movie you saw in theaters this years?

I only saw a couple movies in theaters this year, but the first thing that came to mind for this was Sonic 2 which was NOT a good movie by any means but I saw it w my friend on the day it came out while we were on vacation and it was hilarious so I’m gonna have to go w that.

What do you usually wear?

Some sort of cargo pants or slacks, a sweater or hoodie, and converse or docs depending on the weather.

How tall are you?

5’7

What's your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

I’m a Virgo and idk abt celebrities but I have the same bday as miku binder Thomas Jefferson and those planes hitting the twin towers.

Do you go by your name or a nick-name?

I just go by Ezra on here but irl I go by a shortened version of my birthname bc my parents won’t let me change it so technically both?

Did you grow up to be become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

Well, I’m 15 so I don’t think I can rlly answer this question yet, but ever since I was a kid computer science has been my realistic life plan and I’m on track to do that so kinda.

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

I’m aroace and I don’t desire any sort of relationship at all so no.

What's something you're good at vs. something you're bad at?

I’d like to think I’m pretty good at writing and art and I am not good at talking to people online or irl.

Dogs or Cats?

Cats out of the two, but tbh I don’t rlly like any animals all that much.

What's something you would like to create content for?

I’ve wanted to draw stuff for Ted Lasso and Bojack Horseman for a while now but I can’t draw old ppl or horses very well (I’m trying tho)

What's something you're currently obsessed with?

Seinfeld. Obviously Hetalia and by extension history (specifically Dutch + German) but every year around this time I get rlly into a popular adult comedy for several months, permanently altering my psyche and this year that is Seinfeld. I feel like my brain noticed that my life is going absolutely insane rn and decided it was necessary to deploy the SpIn.

What's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

Ap European history. All last summer and the end of last year I was like “omg I cant wait to take ap euro next year it’s gonna be so fun I love European history and I’ve heard the teacher is awesome” and then the year starts and she keeps getting sick and by October (abt 2 months into school) she’s only been in class like half the days. So obviously everyone in the class starts getting rlly annoyed bc this was obviously not at all planned for at all as we’d been doing world history II work we’d already done last year the whole time, we are barely learning any new content, and our grades weren’t getting updated so a lot of ppl were failing the class. Then, the teacher misses 2 weeks straight of school and we’re all confused and annoyed. This goes on until one morning I’m eating my animal crackers and my dads like “hey did you know [teachers name]” and I’m like “yeah” and he’s like “oh well she just died” so then we spend like a month trying to get things back in order and getting tossed around the history department like a hot potato with anyone willing to teach us. Then like a week ago we finally got a permanent teacher and apparently we are like 2 months behind on content and we have to do a whole unit this week and a bunch of reading over break to maybe be ready for the ap test in may.

Are you religious?

No, my parents aren’t religious so I never have been.

What's something you wish to have at this moment?

Free time. I have so many projects and tests this week it’s crazy. It’s ~9:30pm my time as I’m writing this and I’ve used pretty much all my free time since I woke up making this post.

@rownavi (if they ever end up seeing this lmao) & @grimanonrexwrites

Srry if you’ve already gotten this!

[razzafrazzle]

today on ocs i never talk about but love deeply, grawlix

[the-golden-dragoness]

So recently I was talking about my friends about Dan Povenmire saying Perry the platypus is asexual after a fan asked if Perry was LGBTQ+, and while I’m all for it because it is just a fun little bit of fan service that Dan was kind enough to give the community, it’s still extremely tiring that we can be this excited about a cartoon PLATYPUS not having sexual attraction. I have a list of asexual characters that I know of who are canonically ace, and most of them are from shows I haven’t even gotten around to watching:

Jughead Jones, asexual (Archie). Confirmed in canon using the word “asexual”.

Felicity Montague, ace (Montague Siblings). Confirmed in canon without using the word “asexual”.

Raphael Santiago, ace (The Mortal Instruments). Confirmed in canon using the word “asexual”.

Peridot, ace (Steven Universe). Confirmed outside of canon.

That girl from Sex Ed, ace. Confirmed in canon using the word “asexual”.

Varys, ace (Game of Thrones). Confirmed in canon without using the word “asexual”.

Mr. Clean, ace. Confirmed that cleaning is his only love.

Spongebob, ace. Confirmed outside of canon.

Todd, ace (Bojack Horseman). Confirmed in canon using the word “asexual”.

Jessica Rabbit, ace. Confirmed outside of canon.

Ash Lynx, ace (Banana Fish). Confirmed outside of canon by creator without using the word “asexual”.

Kusuo Saiki, aroace (Saiki K.) confirmed outside of canon by creator without using the word “asexual”.

Emma, ace (#muted Webtoon). Confirmed in canon using the word “asexual”.

Perry the Platypus, ace (Phineas and Ferb). Confirmed outside of canon by creator using the word “asexual”.

Like... these are the only ace characters that I know. It’s SAD. I do appreciate implicit representation because it has its value in its own way, but it does nothing when it comes to asexuality becoming a commonplace term outside of the community.

To cap off this post, I want to create a list of asexual (and aromantic) characters that will be available as an additional page on my profile. I may later turn it into a public google doc, but for now it will just be on my profile. I do want to collect sources of confirmation for each if it is not confirmed within canon, so if anyone has any more ace and/or aro characters outside of this list, please let me know (probably in my asks).

[docholligay]

tumblr is being difficult in new and exciting ways today (can't see any posts on mobile and can't reply to any posts on desktop) but I just wanted to say thank YOU for the Bojack essays!! I always really love getting to see you talk about things you're passionate about, and you did such a beautiful job of breaking down how raw that episode is, the ways that it highlights how messy death and grief can be. the gut-punch of: your dying mother doesn't see you, but this random teenager at the Jack in the Box does. augh. now I've got to go rewatch it!

I'm so glad you liked it! It is such a great episode, and all the little details of it kill me every time. I have no idea how many times I've seen it, but enough that i can recite parts of it.

And yes! One of the things that i think is so good and tragic about the episode--and I can't remember if I said this--is that he comes back to AGREEING WITH HIS FUCKING FATHER, saying that it's good his mom taught him that no one was looking out for him, and there never was, and there never will be.

And, not a few minutes before, he was talking about this teenager, giving him a free churro. She had the power to do absolutely nothing at all, and yet she extended this tiny act of grace toward him, something her manager probably wouldn't even approve of, and he can't see that as some fucking statement at the divine nature of humanity, and how we DO for each other, face to face, and that's the fucking...beauty of the world. Sure, your mom wasn't there for you. That's plenty of people's fucking story. But, you focus so much on what was done TO YOU, that you can never see the things that are done FOR YOU.

There would be people there for you, if you weren't so bound and determined to poison the fucking well every day of your life.

Anyway, yes, I have a lot of feelings aout this episode ahaha

[keyofjetwolf]

What was your first?

So a horse walks into a rehab and says “ouch”. And not a lot. Then a great deal. While also saying nothing. It’s BoJack, in rehab, and going about as well as you might think!

“The Stopped Show” may not have been much about BoJack, but “A Horse Walks Into A Rehab” makes up for it by being 99.9% BoJack, setting aside the brief appearance of the other characters to set their stages for when we get back to them. Diane’s in a shitty motel, Todd’s in a seedy alleyway, Princess Caroline has her porcupine baby, and Mr. Peanutbutter continues to deliver cheer while everything around him burns AND drowns. I’ve now touched base with them about as much as the season premier, and we’ll get busy ignoring them.

As I said, BoJack is the star today, and we continue his quest for ... what, exactly?

Trying to pin it down, that “what is BoJack looking for” question, it’s a lot harder to answer than I expected, which marks another instance of me fucking myself, GOOD JOB ME.

I initially said “punishment”, but that isn’t true, or a least, is too easy. BoJack wants accountability for his actions -- which is a very different thing than punishment -- but he wants it in a way that also absolves him from having to do any work to rise above it. So you’d think he’d love this, the constant claim in rehab that he’s powerless. It seems like the answer to everything, a blanket pass to excuse his behaviour because he’s powerless. Why doesn’t he? I’m not sure I’m entirely clicking with the heart of that, so come with me as I have a poke at it.

For one, I doubt very much rehab would begin and end with “you’re powerless, oh well”. Addiction is some nasty business, but in and of itself, it’s a symptom, not the problem. That in mind, we swing back then to BoJack having to put in the work, only now it’s with the removal of his favourite coping mechanisms.

I think what he was hoping to get out of rehab was more along the lines of “Vodka is a naughty irresistible siren who topples even the most noble of men, but if you cross your eyes and click your heels, you’ll be free from her spell forevermore.” And yeah, no.

I think we get some of that in how, for a while, rehab seems to suit BoJack.

To the point I very specifically said to Doc as I was watching this, “Oh shit, did BoJack just become even MORE insufferable?” He’s okay so long as he has the comfort of the scripts and the regimented plant therapy and the same hike every day. When he starts to get fucked is when he has push further, when he has to work harder, when the treatment demands MORE.

“I notice you tend to deflect when I ask you about the source of your addiction,” his therapist says, causing BoJack to immediately deflect, first with a joke and then, when that doesn’t work, attacking the entire system. Getting to the root of his problem is the last thing BoJack wants, to the point where the entire episode ITSELF is one giant deflection. I made a joke in passing up there about our passing moments with each of the other main characters, but that’s actually it, that’s the heart of this episode.

Each of these are efforts by the episode to deflect what’s going on NOW, tempting us with something shiny and interesting, if only we’d take the bait. I ONLY JUST MADE THIS CONNECTION WELL FUCKING DONE SHOW

And of course, there’s Jameson’s story, which is part deflection, part contrast. She’s intended to appear at first like someone BoJack can relate to, a Sara Lynn Pt. 2 that he wants to save and in whom he sees so much of himself. In equal parts, he’s the adult trying to guide her and the force enabling her, and I’d have to do a bit more thinking on whether I thought his success with her was about him walking both sides of that line, or Jameson just, at the end of the day, being lucky. Either way, it’s also not really about her, so much as BoJack talking a really good game at her, while giving her all the tools to make the worst choices.

Which is, I think, where the episode finally settles. BoJack’s choices have been his own, but they aren’t made in isolation. Throughout this episode, we get moments, presented in reverse chronological order, that could on their own answer that key question: When was the first time you drank?

To settle your nerves to get through a scene everyone was counting on you to nail?

To fit in with the cool kids at high school?

To win your father’s approval?

What’s brilliant to me about each of these flashbacks is that the further into the past we go, the more willing we are to absolve BoJack. In the first, he’s a professional actor required to kiss an attractive and consenting fellow professional in the course of a performance. Nervous? Makes total sense. Getting plastered to do it? LESS SENSE.

The high school one is the most damning, which I adore. BoJack’s the butt of some light bullying by the jock, and I don’t mean to completely dismiss that it sucks, but the remainder of events before he starts in on the beers shows he’s hardly an absolute social pariah. And even if he were, once he begins to drink, BoJack doesn’t just become the life of the party, he becomes cruel (demonstrating quite well that jokes aren’t his only tool of deflection). Worse, that he KNOWS he’s doing it, but cares more about his positive attention than their negative. Still, BoJack’s a kid and peer pressure is a hell of a thing. This isn’t a good look, but it’s also not damning, if he’d come to learn from it. 

Now we jump the line to, I’d guess, ten or eleven year old BoJack, who walks in on his father having an affair with his secretary, but too young to recognize what he’s seen. Butterscotch can’t take the risk though, so he effortlessly manipulates little BoJack into getting drunk and passing out, then uses BoJack’s shame about it to keep him quiet on the whole evening. UNDER THE GUISE OF BEING HIS FRIEND AND DOING HIM A FAVOUR BY THE WAY. No question, Butterscotch is a son of a bitch, and the only thing BoJack did wrong here was crave his parent’s love.

Even with the high school one being a little more grey, they’re all pretty cut and dry. Remember that we’re following the thread of “When was the first time you drank?” and to land on the answer “When my unrepentantly dickish father lied to me to save his own ass” puts a pretty solid punctuation mark on the whole affair. Addiction may not be at fault, but Butterscotch Horseman is. Case closed, we can go home.

BUT WAIT WHAT’S THIS

Right at the end, when you think we’re done, there’s one more flashback. A party of some sort, possibly New Year’s. The house sounds empty, there’s only the looping of the record player, stuck repeating the same five seconds again and again and again. Butterscotch and Beatrice are passed out drunk, judging from the empty bottles around them. Was it a good party? A bad one? She has her back to him and they’re about as far apart as they could get while still remaining in the room, but also, nothing’s broken? It’s impossible to know.

What we do know is that BoJack, aged about where we saw him in the “Free Churro” flashback so maybe seven or so? Very young, at any rate, and he’s alone. There doesn’t appear to be anything in the room for a child, so it’s probably fair to say he wasn’t included in the festivities. Did he have something to do instead? His own party maybe? Friends to play with, someone to watch him? Did he even get dinner? From what we’ve seen, “no” is a much more likely answer to any or all of these.

AND NOW THE FIRST TO PUNCH YOU IN THE HEART

Tiny BoJack knocks back several gulps of vodka (like a fucking pro, may I add), then crawls onto the couch next to his unconscious mother, pretending for just a few minutes that she’s cuddling him until he, too, will fall into a drunken slumber.

RIGHT SO WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO WITH THIS JESUS WEPT

Had you told me “Just wait, seven year old flashback BoJack is going to muddy the hell out of this” I wouldn’t have ... okay, well, I know the show, so I probably would’ve believed you, but I would’ve been preemptively grumpy.

This isn’t his fault! But it is! This isn’t his parent’s fault, but it super super is! Nobody MADE BoJack drink the vodka, as the scene goes to great lengths to show. There is nobody to tell him to do anything at all. Beatrice is three fucking sheets to the wind, she has no idea he’s there and he could have pretend cuddled all night AND stayed sober. Did baby BoJack, like adult BoJack, take the drink to calm his nerves for an expression of physical intimacy? Would baby BoJack have even known that was an option? Remember, this is framed as the answer to the question “When was the first time you drank?” Not “took a drink”, but “you DRANK”, the phrasing of which I think is important. It’s all about the root of the problem. What I get out of that question is then is “the first time you drank to numb yourself”.

Baby BoJack is looking at this disaster, this mess that is his every day no matter how many party hats and streamers you stick on it, and he wants anything else at all. So he turns to the easiest thing he knows will take it away the fastest. The situation isn’t his fault. The opportunity isn’t his fault. But the response IS, in a way that EVEN AS I SAY IT, makes me feel shitty.

CONGRATS BOJACK HORSEMAN FOR MAKING ME SEE A LITERAL CHILD SLAMMING BACK VODKA STRAIGHT FROM THE BOTTLE AND MAKING ME GO “okay, but”.

SEASON SIX SHOULD BE A WALK IN THE PARK

[nightcoremoon]

it's evident people haven't watched enough kids media to adequately understand just what constitutes a kids show as opposed to a show that kids can watch and be entertained by

when I was a kid I watched king of the hill and blues clues (among other things). king of the hill is NOT a kids show by any stretch of the imagination; it is an adult animation, replete with fairly heavy subject matter, sexual themes, political humor, cultural references that kids won't understand, discussion of religion in the modern day, depression and suicidal thoughts, adultery, puberty and sexual awakenings, body image, propane, propane accessories, and ultimately above all else what it means to be family. and blues clues is a show about a man who plays with a shovel & pail, talks to his condiments and mailbox, and sometimes he teleports into the felt dimension, all while playing Sherlock Holmes hercule poirot with his dog, and teaching kids how to count and draw and recognize colors and learn their ABCs. do you see the fucking difference? no? then I'll make it more clear.

dora the explorer & go diego go, mickey mouse clubhouse, handy manny, octonauts, bob the builder, super why, wild kratts, zoboomafoo, jojo's circus, wow wow wubbzy, stanley, doc mcstuffins, max & ruby, wonder pets, bubble guppies, ni hao khai lan, backyardigans, little einsteins, caillou (ugh) and p*w p*trol (double ugh), these are all undeniably kids shows. their audience is children (and the occasional adult by age with severe intellectual disabilities) and maybe the parents whose brains are too fried to care what's on the tv. these shows main purpose is to educate while entertaining on subjects one would encounter in preschool and kindergarten. counting 1-10, ABCs, basic color, basic language, basic intrapersonal skills, basic emotional literacy, problem solving, using your imagination, what sounds do animals make, breaking the fourth wall to ask the audience to answer what's 2+2 or tell them a lesson they learned today like I LEARNED TO NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER or some simple message like that. it's always light, there's no edgelord grimdark "what if they were dead the whole time" bullshit. it's just good clean simple wholesome [except for paw patrol] programs for kids to be distracted for a little bit of time, while also letting them walk away having said they learned something. at least half of the time dedicated to every single one of these shows is devoted to the same shit over and over again. I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map WE FUCKING GET IT YOURE THE MAP! backpack backpack I'm the backpack loaded up with things and knickknacks too, anything that you might need I've got inside for you. we did it we did it we did it HOORAY! come on vamanos everybody let's go, come on let's get to it, I know that we can do it,

WHERE ARE WE GOING

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

THESE SONGS ARE BURNED INTO MY BRAIN AND THEYLL BE STUCK IN MY HEAD UNTIL I DIE

say click take a pic, the hot dog dance, CAN HE FIX IT???, pizza! spaghetti!, THE DOC IS IN AND SHELL FIX YOU UP, max & ruby ruby & max max & ruby ruby & max MAX & RUBY RUBY & MAX MAX & RUBY RUBY & MAX, wonder pets wonder pets we're on our way to help the friend and save the day, we're not too big and we're not too tough but when we work together we've got the right stuff, goooOOO WONDER PETS YAAAAY~, yoooour backyard friends the backyardigans (weve got the whole wide world in our yard to explore, thATS WHY EVERY DAY WEEEEERE BACK FOR MOOOORE), were going on a trip in our little rocket ship SOARING THROOOOOUGH THE SKY!!! little einsteins!

I swear to god I've been forced to watch so much children's television in my life it's no wonder there's no room left for serotonin executive function or the ability to speak to morons

point is I know my way around kids shows. my sisters were born in 98, 02, 05, 06, 10, and 18, I think, I don't even know because they're all a blur, I'm literally closer in age to my parents than to my youngest sibling, I never stopped being exposed to kids shows. I know what is and is not a kids show.

adventure time? not a kids show even though kids watch it. it's a "for everyone" show. it's got a target audience of 100% of the planet. steven universe? not a kids show even though kids watch it. miraculous ladybug? not a kids show even though kids watch it. scooby doo? not a kids show even though kids watch it. I'm not discussing the history of adult acceptance of animation, adult animation, or anime, so don't ask. dexter's laboratory. the grim adventures of billy & mandy. codename kids next door. teen titans. fairly oddparents. kim possible. invader zim. AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER. totally spies. courage the cowardly dog. the proud family. SPONGEBOB F*ING SQUAREPANTS. powerpuff girls. foster's home for imaginary friends. oh yeah you know what's coming next. my little goddamn pony friendship is mother fucking magic is not. a. kids. show. even though kids can watch it. it is a cartoon. it is an everyone show. that's why it's disingenuous and fucking stupid to decry any fan over the age of 7 as a pedophile and a weirdo creep; it participates in the infantilization of femininity. why is it ok for 20somethings to keep watching aang and squidward and finn & jake and zim and "return the slab" and everyone's totally fine wth that but when it's twilight sparkle suddenly everyone's like whoa you're a huge fucking loser for watching this girly wussy baby show for girly wussy babies. oh some bronies are sex crazed perverts? I'm sorry have you seen just how much porn there is for spongebob? oh some bronies are cringe? I'm sorry have you met half the steven universe fandom? oh some bronies are fascist rick sanchez kinnies with fedoras and katanas? BREAKING BAD FANS, HELLO!?!?!?

this is such a stupid tiring boring argument. maybe magic talking horses being friends and turning their friendship into magic rainbow nuclear fucking arms and blasting the evil out of a demon and turning her into the coolest fucking half-unicorn biker lesbian in the world is something that brings me, and adult, pure wholesome joy, in between bojack horseman and dark souls and breaking bad and deftones and fallout new vegas and jojo and cannibal corpse and other bleak depressing edgy shit that also brings me comfort. and MAYBE me at 16 starting to watch MLP:FIM becoming finally comfortable with the outward public expression of "traditionally feminine" interests is the main reason why I realized I was a girl when I did, and MAYBE I just like how pretty the colorful ponies look, AND MAYBE I KIN WITH ONE OR TWO OR EIGHT CHARACTERS, WHAT OF IT?

AND MAYBE ITS LITERALLY THE BEST LONG RUNNING FANTASY TV SERIES ON THE MARKET RIGHT NOW* SINCE GAME OF THRONES FUCKING SUCKS

but whatever, kids watch it sometimes so it's illegal for anyone who's not a kid to enjoy it, but only if it's something girly because liking girly things is bad because girliness is inherently bad, and the only things that are good have predominantly male casts*. right? right??? wrong, fucker. g4mlp has so much more in common with adventure time & atla than with blues clues or dora the fucking explora...r.

but keep in mind I'm saying this while hugging a blues clues plushie my grandma gave me for valentine's day because it reminds her of when I was a baby because I may not watch blues clues but it still means a lot to me for nostalgia and is 50% of the reason why I love ray charles. kids media isn't necessarily bad. I still do enjoy watching it with my little sisters. all this is is me being anal about categorization because I'm autistic and I LIVE for categorizing everything.

*besides atla obviously

[myhahnestopinion]

THE AARONS 2020 - Best TV Episode

I had to cancel a lot of streaming services this year. They know what they did wrong. Here are the Aarons for Best TV Episode: 

#10. “Take Your Choice” (Batwoman, Season 1, Episode 12)

Coming out of the Infinite Earths crossover, Batwoman is left with a personal Crisis of conscience: Kate Kane’s efforts to redeem the villainous Alice, her presumed-dead sister, are derailed by the arrival of an alternate-universe version of her, one who didn’t suffer the same traumatic events. Multiverse collapse means only one can live, compelling Kate to choose between fighting a righteous lost cause or taking the easier path back to normalcy, the kind of complex moral dilemma that heroes are forged in. The original Alice is seen as both abuser and victim within, torturing Kate over her own lingering trauma, while fearing a second, far-worse abandonment. This enhanced sibling conflict reinvigorated the season’s second half. It’s unfortunate that dynamic is now lost with the decision to replace, not recast, Batwoman going forward, but, well, a choice had to be made.

#9. “The One Where We’re Trapped on TV” (Legends of Tomorrow, Season 5, Episode 14)

With back-to-back shows on this list, it’s clear The CW’s sweeping interconnected universe is still going strong, but they’re not done conquering the airwaves yet. In their latest bit of meta-mischief, the crew behind the show Legends of Tomorrow flexed their creative freedom and trapped the on-screen crew of Legends of Tomorrow within various television parodies, including Friends, Downton Abbey, and Star Trek. Each is brought to life with expert lived-in details by long-term producer and first-time director Marc Guggenheim. The cast gamely tunes in to the needs of each as well, hamming it up with Shatner-impressions and droll sitcom style. It’s all held together by the show’s lovable mush; if you’re looking for unique, heartfelt television, the Legends are on it. 

#8. “Zoey’s Extraordinary Glitch” (Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, Season 1, Episode 8)

Despite her being the star of the show, Playlist kept skipping over Jane Levy for its big musical numbers, a consequence of its concept that Zoey is the one hearing other people’s thoughts expressed in song. That oversight was paused in the show’s eighth production, which gave her a show-stopping spotlight all her own. It wasn’t just Levy’s rendition of pop songs that were a hit, but how reality hit for the character after signing her heart out. The playful subversion of Playlist’s formula dialed cringe-comedy to the max, while shattering the limitations of its unusual premise. If the show keeps shuffling itself around like it did here, it won’t be played out anytime soon.

#7. “Sundown” (Lovecraft Country, Season 1, Episode 1)

The unknown is an alluring yet dangerous place. That’s the concept at the heart of infamous horror author H.P. Lovecraft’s work, and the principle carries over to J.J. Abrams and Jordan Peele’s inspired TV show. Atticus Freeman can’t resist that unknown when he receives a mysterious letter from his missing father, and sets off on a road trip beset by monsters to find him. The episode is a wicked homage to the petrifying creatures of Lovecraft lore, but its true horror lies in its subversion of those stories. Lovecraft, an unapologetic racist, founded his fears in that bigotry; Lovecraft Country centers people of color in its narrative, contending with those racist fears within monsters that walk among us. This balance of reverence and rejection is never better than in this first episode; “Sundown” is the highest point in the unearthly Lovecraft Country.

#6. “The Curse” (What We Do in the Shadows, Season 2, Episode 4)

STOP! If you are reading this, you have been cursed! You will be visited by Bloody Mary tonight if you do not forward The Aarons to ten other people.

 ...It was a familiar hoax to earlier adopters of the internet, a bit of viral villany that used the anonymous and unfathomable nature of the world wide web to spook even the most shrewd of children. To a clan of vampires though, incredulity is already out the window. That’s the clever catch of this episode, in which the long-undead crew scramble to get a crash-course in the technological age to avoid such a prophesied ghostly encounter.  It’s a devilishly funny dance of dramatic irony… or is it? I can say with certainty that “The Curse” is a real one, so best get forwarding, readers.

#5. “Ego Death” (I May Destroy You, Season 1, Episode 12)

There was always an inevitability to I May Destroy You: a miniseries needs a denouement. That’s a greater dilemma when your subject is recovering in the wake of sexual assault, a situation that’s rarely cleanly resolved. “Ego Death,” the final installment in the resolutely honest show, doesn’t shy away from that difficulty. Creator and star Michaela Cola’s Arabella has a chance recognition of her assailant, and the episode runs through several possible reactions for her to that encounter. It’s as furious and yet funny as the show consistently was, while always holding firm to the promise of its title: assault need not define you, destruction is not inevitable.

#4. “Bagman” (Better Call Saul, Season 5, Episode 8)

Vince Gilligan built his empire on exploring what will make a person reach their breaking point; after five seasons of build up, he burdened Saul Goodman with as much as the man can bear. Taking cues from a classic episode of the original series, “4 Days Out,” Saul Goodman is stranded in the desert, forced to degradingly drink his own urine while lugging around duffle bags of cash, after a trepidatious handoff is ambushed by a rival drug cartel. Worse, he’s being chased by a surviving shooter. Gilligan loads the episode up with the distinctive visual flourish, attention to detail, and gripping tension that are the hallmarks of his work; when it comes to making standout television, Gilligan’s got it in the bag, man. 

#3. “The Phantom Apprentice” (Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Season 7, Episode 10)

There was a clear force pushing Disney to revive The Clone Wars after seven years off the air: bringing balance to the franchise. The last third of the season finally fulfilled the show’s destiny, running parallel to the events of Revenge of the Sith from the perspective of its original creation, Ahsoka Tano. The entire operatic arc rivaled the power of its cinematic counterparts, but my chosen one is its second part, in which Ahsoka and a revived Darth Maul duel above an under-siege Mandalore. The dazzling lightsaber fight was rendered using motion capture technology, providing viewers with another dizzying high ground from which to watch the fall of the Republic. 

#2. “The View from Halfway Down” (BoJack Horseman, Season 6, Episode 15)

The long-standing question of viewers of BoJack was whether it would result in tragedy or recovery; in the end, the show had its horse and ate it too. The series finale, in which BoJack makes peace in his ruined friendships, could have easily grazed this list, but I gave the edge to the penultimate episode in the horse race. “The View from Halfway Down” is a fake out, a fever dream of finality as BoJack lays drowning in his pool, but it’s no half-measure. It’s a merciless manifestation of fears and regrets, forcing BoJack to confront all the darkness he’s been running from, with the haunting sensation that, this time, he might be in too deep. It’s a brutal piece of TV viewing, but the glass is halfway full: BoJack’s at his lowest point, but the episode is Bojack at its highest. 

AND THE BEST TV EPISODE OF 2020 IS...

#1. “A Dark, Quiet Death” (Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet, Season 1, Episode 5)

Mythic Quest took an unexpected detour early on in its debut season, chronicling the personal and professional growth and decay of couple Doc and Bean, video game designers who originally occupied the current headquarters of the show’s regular cast. Guest stars Jake Johnson and Cristin Milioti give life to “Death,” charming viewers and each other from their meet-cute to their late-in-life reunion. It’s a surprisingly surefooted key stroke for a first season sitcom, developing the entire show’s central thesis on the strength of this standalone episode. Bean and Doc act as a cautionary tale for both the destructive power of ego and the corrosive nature of capitalism; a carved heart from the two adorns the office as an omen while the modern day characters lock horns with the same beasts. Now that’s a scrumptious bit of mythmaking. 

NEXT UP: THE 2020 AARON FOR BEST TV PERFORMANCE!

[tripstaysnoided]

13-17 and 25-26 for your stories pls! :)

Thanks! I'm skipping 15 because it's already been done.

13. From basic planning to a finished post, how long does that take you?

Spicy! This is something I wanted to do a whole blog post on eventually (I love How It's Made so it'd be the sims story episode) but in short: it can be a week to months. Outrun has finally hit its stride and goes like this:

I write and revise the chapter.

Using the comments feature in Google Docs (IMO I do think using a good word processor helps, it can be OpenOffice or LibreOffice too, I can't hate the people who write directly in their blogs I just want to ask why) I mark where the pictures will go, what is going on in them, and what will need poses.

I make the poses and other content needed for the chapter.

I gather the sims needed and prepare outfits.

I shoot the pictures. You might think this takes the longest but once initial setup is done it can be over in mere hours.

I edit the pictures in GIMP. Most screenshots just get a brightness/contrast boost.

I revise the written content a final time with Hemingway.

The content is formatted and scheduled on my blog.

Outrun only: the content is reformatted for posting on Carl's forum, where it's released a day early. And to think I rail against early access content. 🤪

14. Do you have any regrets about your story so far? if you could go back in time, how would you fix these?

There's Outrun which I have few regrets for (there are gameplay regrets but it's really hard to present those in context) and there's Uptown which the mirror held up to all my real-world regret. But let's not rehash the drama too much.

An Uptown regret that's entirely on me is Gian's choice of partner. I had given him Leticia as his present-day girlfriend and Mia as his ex for a flashback. But if I have to be honest Mia has a personality and could actually clash with all the other Cotes (while still adoring Gian's nieces and nephews) so I hope to usher in the Mia renaissance. Right along with Fat Gian. He was originally going to be fat until I chickened out and made him a beanpole next to buff Andrea. That certain physical contrast didn't work out as well as I hoped. Can't be that much better than fit, buff, handsome Andrea and fat, comfortable Gian (who has the same goddamn face!)

16. What about the process do you enjoy?

I'm just a born writer, not made to do anything else. 🥴

17. What about the process do you hate?

The waxing/waning motivation. It affects my whole life but I don't feel as bad when, like, I lose my motivation to cook and eat rice and lao gan ma for a week. And I take food seriously, some might say too much as well...

16. What inspirations have you drawn on for your story?

I'll admit that I always absorb a little bit (or a lot) of the TV I watch, especially because it's rare for me to get attached to a series. Uptown was conceived in the middle of binging Bojack Horseman and its fourth season dropped right as I was forming "Part Two" so of course, gotta rip off the aesthetic of faceless memories and dreams from "Time's Arrow".

Recommending Breaking Bad is hardly a groundbreaking thing but I actually think it's a great study in visual composition and color.

Also I'm a bad fiction writer: I don't really like reading fiction and have to dragged into it kicking and screaming but I learned a lot from the sharp narrative voice of Anthony Bourdain in Kitchen Confidential and the detail of New Yorker centerpieces (my grandpa gave us a subscription when I was young, and my grandma always said I was a boring kid...)

26. Have other sim stories inspired you?

Of course. But instead of being here all day I'm going to recommend the deceptively simple De D'Onlyn Immortal Dynasty because it greatly influenced how I dress sims:

27. What genres would you describe your story as?

Outrun is a slice-of-life character study disguised as fantasy/sci-fi, Uptown is a mystery hiding a story about overcoming abuse and eating pussy as self-care.

[birdlord]

Everything I Watched in 2020

We’ll start with movies. The number in parentheses is the year of release, asterisks denote a re-watch, and titles in bold are my favourite watches of the year. Here’s 2019’s list. 

01 Little Women (19)

02 The Post (17) 

03 Molly’s Game (17)

04 * Doctor No (62)

05 Groundhog Day (93)

06 *Star Trek IV - The Voyage Home (86)

07 Knives Out (19) My last theatre experience (sob)

08 Professor Marston and his Wonder Women (17)

09 Les Miserables (98)

10 Midsommar (19) I’m not sure how *good* it is, but it does stick in the ol’ brain

11 *Manhattan Murder Mystery (93)

12 Marriage Story (19)

13 Kramer vs Kramer (79)

14 Jojo Rabbit (19)

15 J’ai perdu mon corps (19) a cute animated film about a hand detached from its body!

16 1917 (19)

17 Married to the Mob (88)

18 Klaus (19)

19 Portrait of a Lady on Fire (19) If Little Women made me want to wear a scarf criss-crossed around my torso, this one made me want to wear a cloak

20 The Last Black Man in San Francisco (19)

21 *Lawrence of Arabia (62)

22 Gone With the Wind (39)

23 Kiss Me Deadly (55)

24 Dredd (12)

25 Heartburn (86) heard a bunch about this one in the Blank Check series on Nora Ephron, sadly after I’d watched it

26 The Long Shot (19)

27 Out of Africa (85)

28 King Kong (46)

29 *Johnny Mnemonic (95)

30 Knocked Up (07)

31 Collateral (04)

32 Bird on a Wire (90)

33 The Black Dahlia (05)

34 Long Time Running (17)

35 *Magic Mike (12)

36 Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead (07)

37 Cold War (18)

38 *Kramer Vs Kramer (79) yes I watched this a few months before! This was a pandemic friend group co-watch.

39 *Burn After Reading (08)

40 Last Holiday (50)

41 Fly Away Home (96)

42 *Moneyball (11) I’m sure I watch this every two years, at most??

43 Last Holiday (06) the Queen Latifah version of the 1950 movie above, lacking, of course, the brutal “poor people don’t deserve anything good” ending

44 *Safe (95)

45 Gimme Shelter (70)

46 The Daytrippers (96)

47 Experiment in Terror (62)

48 Tucker: The Man and His Dream (88)

49 My Brilliant Career (79) one of the salvations of 2020 was watching movies “with” friends. Our usual method was to video chat before the movie, sync our streaming services, and text-chat while the movie was on. 

50 Divorce Italian Style (61)

51 *Gosford Park (01) another classic comfort watch, fuck I love a G. Park

52 Hopscotch (80)

53 Brief Encounter (45)

54 Hud (63)

55 Ocean’s 8 (18)

56 *Beverly Hills Cop (84)

57 Blow the Man Down (19)

58 Constantine (05)

59 The Report (19) maddening!! How are people so consistently terrible to one another!

60 Everyday People (04)

61 Anatomy of a Murder (58)

62 Spiderman: Homecoming (17)

63 *To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (95) Of the 90s drag road movies, Priscilla is more visually striking, but this has its moments.

64 Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (92)

65 *The Truman Show (98)

66 Mona Lisa (86)

67 The Blob (58)

68 The Guard (11)

69 *Waiting for Guffman (96) RIP Fred Willard

70 Rocketman (19)

71 Outside In (18)

72 The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (08) how strange to see a movie that you have known the premise for, but no details of, for over a decade

73 *Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country (91)

74 The Reader (08)

75 Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (19) This was fine until it VERY MUCH WAS NOT FINE

76 The End of the Affair (99) you try to watch a fun little romp about infidelity during the Blitz, and Graham Greene can’t help but shoehorn in a friggin crisis of religious faith

77 Must Love Dogs (05) barely any dog content, where are the dogs at

78 The Rainmaker (97)

79 *Batman & Robin (97)

80 National Lampoon’s Vacation (83) Never seen any of the non-xmas Vacations, didn’t realize the children are totally different, not just actors but ages! Also, this one is blatantly racist!

81 *Mystic Pizza (88)

82 Funny Girl (68)

83 The Sons of Katie Elder (65)

84 *Knives Out (19) another re-watch within the same year!! How does this keep happening??

85 *Scott Pilgrim Vs The World (10) a real I-just-moved-away-from-Toronto nostalgia watch

86 Canadian Bacon (92) vividly recall this VHS at the video store, but I never saw it til 2020

87 *Blood Simple (85)

88 Brittany Runs a Marathon (19)

89 The Accidental Tourist (88)

90 August Osage County (13) MELO-DRAMA!!

91 Appaloosa (08)

92 The Firm (93) Feeling good about how many iconic 80s/90s video store stalwarts I watched in 2020

93 *Almost Famous (00)

94 Whisper of the Heart (95)

95 Da 5 Bloods (20)

96 Rain Man (88)

97 True Stories (86)

98 *Risky Business (83) It’s not about what you think it’s about! It never was!

99 *The Big Chill (83)

100 The Way We Were (73)

101 Safety Last (23) It’s getting so that I might have to add the first two digits to my dates...not that I watch THAT many movies from the 1920s...

102 Phantasm (79)

103 The Burrowers (08)

104 New Jack City (91)

105 The Vanishing (88)

106 Sisters (72)

107 Puberty Blues (81) Little Aussie cinema theme, here

108 Elevator to the Gallows (58)

109 Les Diaboliques (55)

110 House (77) haha WHAT no really W H A T

111 Death Line (72)

112 Cranes are Flying (57)

113 Holes (03)

114 *Lady Vengeance (05)

115 Long Weekend (78)

116 Body Double (84)

117 The Crazies (73) I love that Romero shows the utter confusion that would no doubt reign in the case of any kind of disaster. Things fall apart.

118 Waterlilies (07)

119 *You’re Next (11)

120 Event Horizon (97)

121 Venom (18) I liked it, guys, way more than most superhero fare. Has a real sense of place and the place ISN’T New York!

122 Under the Silver Lake (18) RIP Night Call

123 *Blade Runner (82)

124 *The Birds (62) interesting to see now that I’ve read the story it came from

125 *28 Days Later (02) hits REAL FUCKIN’ DIFFERENT in a pandemic

126 Life is Sweet (90)

127 *So I Married an Axe Murderer (93) find me a more 90s movie, I dare you (it’s not possible)

128 Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (67)

129 The Pelican Brief (93) 90s thrillers continue!

130 Dick Johnston is Dead (20)

131 The Bridges of Madison County (95)

132 Earth Girls are Easy (88) Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum are so hot in this movie, no wonder they got married 

133 Better Watch Out (16)

134 Drowning Mona (00) trying for something like the Coen bros and not getting there

135 Au Revoir Les Enfants (87)

136 *Chasing Amy (97) Affleck is the least alluring movie lead...ever? I also think I gave Joey Lauren Adams’ character short shrift in my memory of the movie. It’s not good, but she’s more complicated than I recalled. 

137 Blackkklansman (18)

138 Being Frank (19)

139 Kiki’s Delivery Service (89)

140 Uncle Frank (20) why so many FRANKS

141 *National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (89) watching with pals (virtually) made it so much more fun than the usual yearly watch!

142 Half Baked (98) another, more secret Toronto nostalgia pic - RC Harris water filtration plant as a prison!

143 We’re the Millers (13)

144 All is Bright (13)

145 Defending Your Life (91)

146 Christmas Chronicles (18) I maintain that most new xmas movies are terrible, particularly now that Netflix churns them out like eggnog every year. 

147 Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse (18)

148 Reindeer Games (00) what did I say about Affleck??!? WHAT DID I SAY

149 Palm Springs (20)

150 Happiest Season (20)

151 *Metropolitan (90) it’s definitely a Christmas movie

152 Black Christmas (74)

THEATRE:HOME - 2:150 (thanks pandemic)

I usually separate out docs and fiction, but I watched almost no documentaries this year (with the exception of Dick Johnston). Reality is real enough. 

TV Series

01 - BoJack Horseman (final season) - Pretty damned poignant finish to the show, replete with actual consequences for our reformed bad boy protagonist (which is more than you can say for most antiheroes of Peak TV).

02 - *Hello Ladies - I enjoy the pure awkwardness of seeing Stephen Merchant try to perform being a Regular Person, but ultimately this show tips him too far towards a nasty, Ricky Gervais-lite sort of persona. Perhaps he was always best as a cameo appearance, or lip synching with wild eyes while Chrissy Teigen giggles?

03 - Olive Kittredge - a rough watch by times. I read the book as well, later in the year. Frances Mcdormand was the best, possibly the only, casting option for the flinty lead. One episode tips into thriller territory, which is a shock. 

04 - *The Wire S3, S4, S5 - lockdown culture! It was interesting to rewatch this, then a few months later go through an enormous, culture-level reappraisal of cop-centred narratives. 

05 - Forever - a Maya Rudolph/Fred Armisen joint that coasts on the charm of its leads. The premise is OK, but I wasn’t left wanting any more at the end. 

06 - *Catastrophe - a rewatch when my partner decided he wanted to see it, too!

07 - Red Oak - resolutely “OK” steaming dramedy, relied heavily on some pretty obvious cues to get across its 1980s setting. 

08 - Little Fires Everywhere - gulped this one down while in 14-day isolation, delicious! Every 90s suburban mom had that SUV, but not all of them had the requisite **secrets**

09 - The Great - fun historical comedy/drama! Costumes: lush. Actors: amusing. Race-blind casting: refreshing!

10 - The Crown S4 - this is the season everyone lost their everloving shit for, since it’s finally recent enough history that a fair chunk of the viewing audience is liable to recall it happening. 

11 - Ted Lasso - we resisted this one for a while (thought I did enjoy the ad campaign for NBC sports (!!) that it was based on). My view is that its best point was the comfort that the men on the show have (or develop, throughout the season) with the acknowledgement and sharing of their own feelings. Masculinity redux. 

12 - Moonbase 8 - Goodnatured in a way that makes you certain they will be crushed. 

13 - The Good Lord Bird - Ethan Hawke is really aging into the character actor we always hoped he would be! 

14 - Hollywood - frothy wish-fulfillment alternate history. I think the show would have been improved immeasurably by skipping the final episode.