#Does this still count as fanart. I don't know any more

[dotpyenji]

mercury at IKEA

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

can u guess which gif will be at the end of this. can you guess. i'll bet at least a few of you can guess XD

Charlie: "New plan- group bonding through shared, SAFE, suffering!"

Alastor: “Oh joy~”

Husk: "Not this fucking shit again."

Angel Dust: "Well hey as long as it's consensual sufferin'~"

Niffty: (lifts arms at vaggie) "YEEET ME!!!"

Vaggie: "Ughh... no."

Niffty: "Aww."

Vaggie: "I'm never living that one down am I?"

Charlie: "Vaggie, you don't need to live anything down EVER-"

Alastor: "Cough cough! Lied to her girlfriend for three years, cough cough!"

Angel Dust: "Dude you're not supposed t' SAY cough."

Husk: “That’s the part you’re fucking annoyed at?”

Charlie: "-and the POINT is, your whole idea about going through hell to trust the people who go through it with you? Not entirely on the wrong track!"

Vaggie: "Yaaay."

Husk: "You fucked up but for the right un-shitty reasons."

Vaggie: "Great. Thanks."

Charlie: "SO! We're all gonna share the worst work day of our lives with each other!"

Niffty: "Share?" (excited) "By INFLICTING them on each other!?"

Charlie: "Talking, Niffty. We're going to, talk about them."

Niffty: "Aww...."

Husk: "Is there a time limit."

Angel Dust: "Is there a rating limit?"

Alastor: (thoughtful) "Does it still count as a terrible work day if I was able to murder them at the end of it?"

Charlie: "Uhhhh-"

Vaggie: "How 'bout we stick to how it made us feel, rather than all the... X rated... gory details?"

Niffty: (sighs) (slumps over) "This is my worst most terrible work day ever.."

Charlie: "And how do you FEEL about it?"

Niffty: "Sad..."

Vaggie: "I'll let you use my spear for roach hunting after this."

Niffty: (bouncing up) "OH THE EMOTIONS! WHATEVER ONES YOU WANT FROM ME I DON'T CARE, I HAVE THEM!!!"

Husk: "What the fuck."

Angel Dust: "Yeesh."

Charlie: "Okay that's, that's enough sharing from you. Good, um, good job!"

Niffty: "Spear spear spear-"

Charlie: "Well MY worst work day was definitely the one where we were besieged by an army of murderous angels heaven-bent on the full scale slaughter of most of my family! And they actually did kill one! Yeah- that." (laughs) "That fucking sucked and I hated it!"

Angel Dust, Husk, Niffty: (GASP)

Charlie: "What? What??"

Angel Dust: "You said the "H" word, toots.."

Vaggie: "She said a lot more than that while writing an angry text to heaven afterwards."

Charlie: "Hey! You checked the text for me- you know I was polite!"

Vaggie: "Charlie, it was the most aggressively polite 'fuck off' anyone's ever written in the history of all creation. I’m so proud of you for it."

Charlie: "Heh."

Alastor: “Cough get a room please cough.”

Angel Dust: “’m TELLING YOU that’s NOT how it’s supposed ‘t WORK you're not supposed t' SAY IT-”

Charlie: "Ah-hem. Um. Husk? Worst work day-?"

Husk: "Still living it."

Hotel Crew: "....."

Husk: "...but you stupid fuckers are keeping me company through it, so, fucking thanks I guess."

Charlie: (tearful) "Oh Husk. That's so..."

Angel Dust: "Love you too, Mr. Whiskers~"

Husk: "Shut the fuck up."

Vaggie: "Hey."

Husk: "Him, not her. The day your “her” shuts the fuck up is the day we all know we're fucked."

Charlie: "Gosh I hope not." (wipes eyes) "Angel Dust? You wanna...?"

Angel Dust: "My worst shitty day was also my BEST day."

Charlie: (bracing herself) "O...kay...?"

Angel Dust: "A friend came to work an' almost killed the boss for me. Can ya believe that? An' the only reason she didn't open him up a few new 'fun' an' 'interestin' holes of his own was 'cause I had to stop her."

Vaggie: "HELL YEAH!"

Charlie: "You mean-"

Angel Dust: "Yeah. Thanks, apple cheeks. I spent good crack money commissionin' fanart of you wrecking his shit."

Charlie: "WHAT!?"

Vaggie: "You have GOT to let me see that."

Charlie: "VAGGIE!"

Vaggie: "Oh come on, it's better than him buying crack, right?"

Angel Dust: "It def looks waaay better on my wall."

Charlie: "I- that's not-"

Niffty: "Is there BLOOD?"

Charlie: "Oh please don't let there be any-"

Angel Dust: "SO much blood, baby."

Charlie: "Noooo...!"

Vaggie: "Now I really need to see it."

Charlie: "H-WHA?"

Husk: "I really need a fucking drink."

Charlie: "I'm- you know what? I'm pretending I didn't hear any of that. La la la! I have complete deniability!"

Alastor: "That's the spirit! You hardly knew him, certainly never fantasized about decorating him with his own entrails! Just keep reminding yourself of that while hiding the body~!"

Charlie: "NO! Just.... well maybe for him..."

Vaggie: "You're so pretty."

Charlie: (pouting) "We need to commission a piece of you standing over Lute with your spear at her throat. It's not FAIR otherwise."

Vaggie: "Anything for you, babe."

Alastor: "How saccharine. Young love hand in hand, spattered in blood."

Charlie: "A-anyway. Alastor. Your turn."

Alastor: "Hmm. Well, there was the time someone reorganized the reels, somehow without mentioning it to me before air time. And without asking me before hand. But..."

Husk: "Here it comes."

Alastor: "Reorganized their organs for them later that night, likewise unasked, was QUITE fun."

Charlie: "I THOUGHT WE SAID WE COULD JUST TALK ABOUT OUR FEELINGS!"

Alastor: "My feelings?"

Niffty: "PURE UNDILUTED JOY"

Alastor: "Mm no, they didn't scream enough for that..."

Charlie: "AAAAAH!" (covers ears)

Alastor: "Shall we say perhaps, accomplished?"

Vaggie: "Over one murder? Wow. You're sure easy to please."

Alastor: "I've always believed in quality not quantity when it comes to my passion projects. Swift, thoughtless killings are so passé."

Angel Dust: "Y'know, meeting you has really ruined the whole dashing dapper man w' a tinted glass monocle for me. It's that creepy grin. You're a total boner kill."

Alastor: "Oh I do try."

Vaggie: "What about the day you died? Didn't you get fucking shot like a deer, venison a la Alastor?"

Alastor: "Fan of my history, hmm?"

Vaggie: "The TV future about it is pretty funny, not gonna lie."

Alastor: "Ah ha ha! TV DID YOU SAY."

Vaggie: "Vox airs it. Every day."

Alastor: "AND YOU WATCHED IT. HMM?"

Vaggie: "Every. Day."

Angel Dust: "I bring the popcorn and pills."

Husk: "I mix the fucking drinks."

Niffty: "I wish it had more BLOOD!"

Alastor: "ET TU, NIFFTY?"

Charlie: "Okay okay, that's WAY more than enough from you, reel back in the shadow monsters please-"

Alastor: "AHAHAHAH...!" (fades into shadows)

Angel Dust: "Creep. He's prob'ly vaping off to go curse the TV again."

Husk: "For mother fuck. I've got that cooking show coming on tonight. Will smacking the aerial with the angel spear get it working again?"

Vaggie: "Probably...?"

Charlie: "Vaggie!" (desperate) (hopeful) "You have a normal worst day at work to finish this exercise off with, right!?"

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: "Uh, well sweetie...."

[romana-after-dark]

Dead Dove December

Hello everyone! This December I’m hosting an event for the Oscar Isaac and Pedro Pascal fandom that I’m calling, Dead Dove December! From 12/01/2023 - 12/31/2023 I’m encouraging others to create something that expresses their deepest and (most importantly) darkest desires. I will be reblogging all pieces of art or fanfiction, and will post a masterlist in January. 

Details below the cut…

What is Dead Dove Do Not Eat?

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, or DDDNE has its origins in one of my comfort shows!

The phrase comes from a meme referencing the 2003 Arrested Development episode "Top Banana", in which Michael Bluth opens a paper bag labeled "DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT" and, upon discovering that there is a dead dove inside the bag, says, deadpan, "I don't know what I expected." - fanlore.org

In short, what you see in the tags is what you should expect to see in the fic. This can apply for any type of fic, including the fluffy ones, but it’s usually associated with darker themes. That being said, this is your warning that this is a DARK THEMED EVENT. If you aren’t comfortable with darker topics like non-con, excessive violence, blood/gore, death, toxic relationships, 18+ age gaps, and more, then I encourage you not to participate in this event.

How to Participate

For the month of December, post your Dead Dove fanfiction or fan art on your blog. Use the tag #deaddovedecemeber2023 and tag me. You can also send a link via ask or DM if you like! I will not be posting anything for you, just reblogging and linking. At the end of December I will post a masterlist with links to everyone’s works! Side Note - Since Tumblr doesn’t really allow for NSFW art, you can post your work on Twitter or any other site that allows it and just send me that link so I can add it to the masterlist.

Rules

You MUST be 18+ to participate. I will be checking your blog/social media to be sure. Please make sure your age is easy to find. If I find that you’re a minor or if your age isn’t readily present I will be blocking you and you will be unable to participate. You can just add that you are over 18 if you don’t want your age out on the internet. As the creator and promotor of this event, I need to know I’m not interacting with minors given the nature of this event.

The work MUST be dark in some way. There’s no limit to how dark your work needs to be or can be, but it needs to contain some sort of dark theme in order to qualify. If non con isn’t your thing, dub con via stockholm syndrome or brainwash can let you write a more comfortable scene while still remaining dark. Fics and art do not necessarily need to be NSFW.

Do NOT post anything before 12/01/2023. I will not count submissions prior to that date or after 12/31/2023. Masterlsit will be posted in January.

Your work MUST contain the proper tags. I won’t police how detailed your tags should be, but, for instance, if your work contains non-con, and you didn’t tag non-con then your work will not qualify. Please be inclusive in your writing where you can.

You may submit no more than two (2) pieces. This can include a fanfic and fanart, two fanfics or two fanarts. This is to allow someone to write a piece and make a work of art to accompany it.

I’m not going to yuck someone’s yum, but there are some things I’m just personally not comfortable with and since I’ll be reading/viewing all of these, I have a few things not allowed in the event. The list of what’s NOT allowed is shorter than the list of what IS allowed so here’s a list of the things that will NOT be tolerated in this event:

No underage/aged up minor content - To clarify, this includes things popular ships like - TLOU 1 or Show Ellie x Joel or Miguel O’Hara X Gwen Stacy. No "ageing up" minors for the purpose of a fic.

No Bestiality - To clarify, monsterfucking does NOT count as bestiality (at least to me). For example, werewolves, venom, Khonshu, e.t.c. are all allowed.

No incest - To clarify, step-sibling/step-parent relationships are permitted as long as everyone is 18+. Selfcest relationships are also allowed (like Moon Knight or Miguel with his alternate self, e.t.c.).

If you’re unsure if something is allowed or not, you can send me a DM or an ask for clarification prior to posting.

You can use any prompts you want or none, you aren’t tied to any one idea but here are some to get the ideas flowing if you need them!

Also, you can absolutely use a fic to inspire your art, or art to inspire a fic! Your inspiration piece, whether yours or someone else’s does not have to be from December, but you MUST obtain permission from the original creator before I promote your work. Most creators are happy when their work inspires others, and all my fics are open to being used for inspiration, but please reach out to the creator first.

I’m very excited! I’ve never done anything like this before so things may be updated as I go so bear with me! Looking forward to seeing what you all come up with!

Dividers and header made by the amazing @melodygatesauthor

Please consider reblogging to spread the word!

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

As someone who has always loved siblings dynamics in fiction, I find it funny that almost every single member of the HoM team has siblings. Kim has two little brothers, Danny has an older sister, Jake has a little sister, Jenny has eight robot sisters, June has an older and a younger brother, Rex has an older brother, and Zak has three cryptid siblings. Ben and Randy are the only ones who are technically only children but Ben still at least has a cousin who he has a sibling dynamic with. I don't think Randy had anyone like that. (Although it's one of the few shows here that I didn't watch so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.) Any way, now Only Child Cunningham is being treated like the little brother by all of these experienced siblings and has no clue what to do and I find that funny.

(P.s. sorry about the long comment. This thought wouldn't leave me alone so I thought i should share it)

(P.p.s I love your HoM au and your art. Thank you for sharing it!)

Please, don't be sorry, this is like, one of my favorite asks about HoMies I ever got! And also thank you for your kind words! <3<3<3

I also adore sibling dynamics in fiction! It's one of the main reasons I don't want to put much focus on ships in this AU, like I mentioned before, there would be like one canon couple with one of HoMies, but otherwise everyone are sort of floating in nebulous single area, so I could focus better on their complicated friendships with a dash of found family/siblings dynamics!

(And your ask reminded me of a fanart I did a long time ago about Randy being the only child in Secret Trio. xD same brain anon!)

Also one can argue that Howard, Randy's best friend, could be considered sort of like a brother to him (they became friends at a very young age), but I personally view them more as Bros. (does it make sense, lol?)

But even if we count Howard, their dynamic would be more equal in older-younger sibling scale, while Randy indeed would be mostly treated as a younger sibling amongst HoMies and it would probably drive him insane!

Being the youngest and newest in their friend circle, he is like a new baby brother or a co-worker/young kohai (ye, cringe wording but terminology vibe aint wrong! xD) that others are prepared to protect and help, impart their wisdom on, but also tease! (and perhaps learn something from him in return! )

But Randy Only Child Cunningham, as an already seasoned, if a bit overconfident, hero would hate (just a little bit) being considered as less experienced (even if he technically is) than others, no matter how much he absolutely adores being in presence of all those cool people! At times it would feel condescending, but in reality others just want to support him the more they learn about how he came to be the Ninja.

After all they know what it felt like being that young, having that responsibility trust upon your shoulders and going through so much. Especially considering that among them, Randy perhaps had the least stable support during his hero-ing career. Sure, all of them had to go through some things alone, but there were family and friends that were there to help when it came to it. And, no offense to Howard, who does sometimes manages to get through for Randy, he is not the best at being the type of support Randy needs at times. And, Ninjanomicon? While incredibly useful for teaching moral lessons and art of being Ninja - is not exactly the most er, physically able in supporting Randy at time of crisis, being an inanimate object and all that, lol.

So yes, Randy-Only Child-Lone Ninja Hero-Cunningham sometimes doesn't know what to do with all those people who appeared in his life and treat him like a little bro! But sometimes, he enjoys it. ;)

(a little bit of random rambling beneath, feel free to ignore! haha)

Also random, and its not very obvious at all, but there is slightest differences amongst HoMies on how they view/regard him and behave with/around him, depending on their own experiences:

Kim and Jake, as older siblings through and through, tend to see him as a younger bro, like their own siblings who can be a handful and overzealous little hellions at times.

Danny, Rex, Jenny and Zak are a bit complicated. They all have siblings that are older than them, but they are also kind of younger in some sense (or in Danny's case an adopted younger sibling).

Danny and Rex would tend to be overprotective a little bit, as people who didnt have a younger sibling before (I mean, Danny does but she is so independant! Danny doesnt get to exercise his overprotectiveness on Danielle xD) so its a bit new to them. But they are also kind of dicks, and thats just the younger siblings in them talking, lol.

Jenny and Zak on the other hand, both have siblings that are very confusing from the age bracket view.

All ofJenny's siblings are older than her BUT their prototype AI and bodies make them behave younger than her, so she tends to view them as younger siblings. There is a constant argument amongst them about who is older-younger, but its all in good fun! (She also sometimes misses being the only child. xD)

Zak's siblings are all cryptids, and two of them are older than him in age (Fisk and Zon are definitily full grown and possibly more long-lived than humans, I still have questions about Komodo, but he is probably older than Zak in age just by a little bit), but their behaviour, as.... well, i don't want to say animals, because they are not mindless animals, but let's just say - their disregard to human behaviours and norms, as cryptids, make them behave in a way that could be considered irresponsible, thus making Zak often behave like a responsible older sibling, despite being younger than them.

So, Jenny and Zak tend to be as snooty and in 'charge' as an older sibling would, but also be mischevous little shits that is younger (sorta only) child behaviour.

Ben and Jun are sort of like the previous four, but they tend to view Randy on a more equal footing rather than just vacilate between older-younger types of behaviour.

Ben, is a single child, but he grew up pretty close to Gwen, since they were born on the same day. Sort of growing up twins but not kinda situation. They also have an older cousin/brother Ken, and they both adore him, but it is obvious that primarly those two grew up together and are equally annoyed with that, lol.

Jun is a middle child. (I kind of dont want to say anything else, because i feel like it explains everything. xD but-) She is independant, and is equally exasparated with her snooty older brother and her hellion of a younger brother. So, really, she just tends to be the most normal towards Randy in the end???

so, ye, of course in the end they treat him as just a new friend, this was just more of me trying to look into inner mind of sibling dynamics in a weird way haha

sorry about it, but if you got this far, hope you had an entertaining read! ;D

[di-42]

Apology of Aziraphale

Like for many of us, Good Omens has been an almost constant thought since when I watched season 2. Like many of us, I'm heartbroken and I need to make sense of something that appears to be senseless. Why were we led to believe we were in a much safer, if, admittedly, slightly less eventful, place for the whole season only to have our hearts mauled and our precious, peaceful  fragile existences turned upside down in the last 10 minutes?

So, like many of us, I immersed myself in fanart, fanfiction, more characters analysis than I can count and different interpretation pieces to try and make sense of it all and attempt to make it to season 3 (or the promised book, if it all goes horribly wrong) with some of my sanity left.

Although I am sure there must be analysis that read the (in)famous last 10 minutes the way I do -because I CAN'T be the only one- I am yet to read any.

So, though I'm no writer, I thought someone had to play, well, the Angel's advocate.

For the sake of brevity, I'm not going to consider the coffee theory, the body swap theory, the theories that see the Metatron offer as a genuine offer or the theories that see Aziraphale as a power-hungry angel (I mean, COME ON!)

The theories I'm going to confute here are the Aziraphale-still-thinks-heaven-is-good-and-can-be-fixed theory, the Aziraphale-hasn't-recovered-from-his-religious-trauma theory, the Aziraphale-wants-to-do-the-right-thing-even-if-it-means-sacrificing-his-own-happiness theory and the Aziraphale-is-lying-to-keep-Crowley-safe theory.

I do wholeheartedly agree with the theory that has the Metatron make an either, direct or indirect threat to Crowley's very existence were Aziraphale not to go to heaven. I believe this would be the only possible explanation for Aziraphale's choice, only not in the way it's been talked about so far.

It would also explain the narrative device of us (the audience) be shown the conversation between Aziraphale and the Metatron only through Aziraphale's recount of it. Not that it needs an explanation other than "we wanted to do it like that and if you don't like it you're at liberty to go". But still.

 Aziraphale-still-thinks-heaven-is-good-and-can-be-fixed theory

Good Omens is a story about Faith. Aziraphale is an Angel of Faith. Aziraphale has nothing but Faith. Aziraphale's Faith is unshakable. Going by what we are shown in season 2, Aziraphale's Faith lies entirely in Crowley. "I knew you would come through for me. You always do". In season one we see that he's not quite there yet up until just before the almost Armageddon and in the scenes set in the past his reactions at Crowley coming to the rescue are more "I was hoping but not assuming" rather than plain, confident Faith.

But in season 2 we are shown a different Angel. Someone, in another post, suggested that the minisodes in season 2 are in fact Aziraphale's memories, so we see them from his present day POV. I don't know if it's the case but it would make much sense as we see that Faith, that blind trust in Crowley that Aziraphale acquires during/just after almostgeddon in those minisodes. The whole season is shouting at us "The Angel trusts the Demon with his life! The Angel trusts the Demon with the humans' lives! With children's lives! The Angel trusts the Demon with his secrets, the Angel trusts the Demon with his bookshop, the Angel trusts the Demon with his magic tricks! The Angel trusts the Demon completely, blindly, unquestionably."Are you sure, angel?" "Yes, quite sure"; "I'm getting the humans out of here and then I'm coming back. I won't leave you on your own" "I know"; "I knew you would come through for me. You always do.".

Where does Heaven-is-good-and-can-be-fixed theory come into play in this? It doesn't. Aziraphale has all but forgotten heaven. He doesn't need it. It has been shown to Aziraphale, over and over, that heaven is not better than hell. Heaven is a distant, unpleasant memory of the past. It can be scary but it's certainly not where his Faith lies, certainly not something he sees as good, hasn't for a long time. Aziraphale is not a soldier of the army of Truth, Aziraphale is a heroic deserter of the army of Deception. "I've made my position quite clear". I believe we would be doing Aziraphale a great disservice if we quietly accepted that the Metatron's speech changed that quite clear position in a matter of minutes (or hours, or years, for that matters). If nothing else, I believe NG loves his and TP's child too much to set him back to a place where he thinks heaven is good and can be fixed.

So: Aziraphale thinks heaven is bad and can't be fixed.

Aziraphale-hasn't-recovered-from-his-religious-trauma theory

And thinks he can't love Crowley freely on Earth because that would be a sin. But he could love Crowley of a heavenly love were Crowley to become an Angel and that's why he let the Metatron convince him to return to heaven and take Crowley with him. He and Crowley can be together and be safe.

Have we watched the same series? Aziraphale is so ready! He's happily out on the other side waiting for Crowley to join him! I honestly think his arch regarding this is complete. He is a different character to the one we were introduced to at the beginning (and before the beginning, too), he's done the learning and the growing and HE. IS. READY.

Look at how comfortable he is when Crowley is around, look at his body language. Look at the way he looks at Crowley, well, always, but just to mention a few scenes: the apology dance, Crowley talking to Muriel about love; "smitten, I believe" and my favourite: the way Aziraphale looks at Crowley when Crowley mentions Alpha Centauri to Gabriel and Belzebub. Micheal-the-king-of-all-the-wild-acting-Sheen manages to makes his pupils dilate and tell us what Aziraphale is telling Crowley: "you are talking to me and I know you are talking to me. And I am ready. You just watch me pack my best waistcoats and we can be in Alpha Centauri tonight. I'll miracle an orchestra just so that you can invite me to dance and you'd better invite me to dance this time. I'll stare into your eyes for eternity and I'll kiss you and I'll love you like no one has ever loved before. And as soon as this lot is gone I'll tell you that because I. Am. So. Ready".

Aziraphale-wants-to-do-the-right-thing-even-if-it-means-sacrificing-his-own-happiness theory

Aziraphale senses that something is wrong and thinks that the only way to avoid disaster for humanity is an act of sabotage from the inside.

I believe this could be true to an extent (though I'm hoping to see something more dramatic that an act of sabotage) but I don't see it being the reason why he accepts the offer. It appears that Aziraphale learns about the Second Coming only after everything was said and done with Crowley and besides, didn't they manage to avoid Armageddon once before, the two of them together, from Earth? And if this was the reason he's accepting the offer, why hurt Crowley so badly? Aziraphale knows that Crowley won't go back to heaven, he knows that suggesting he be turned back into an Angel must be insulting, does he really believe this to be the best way to handle the situation? The Metatron might have been watching, someone will say but still, why hurt Crowley so much? He loves Crowley, he trusts him, did he really need to punch so low just to make him understand the gravity of the situation? It almost looked as he was deliberately trying to drive him away.

Which leads us to...

Aziraphale-is-lying-to-keep-Crowley-safe theory

This theory is the closest to what I believe happened in that it's based on the threat theory. The Metatron threatens Something Terrible will happen to Crowley unless Aziraphale goes back to heaven for good. Being erased from The Book Of Life comes to mind. That would of course be an ongoing, eternal threat to live under. Aziraphale can take Crowley to heaven as well, it doesn't really matter. If Crowley accepts, he will be reinstated as an angel so as not to cause too much trouble. If Crowley declines, it's just as well in the Metatron's eyes.

I'm not sure whether the Metatron really believes Aziraphale to be naive and easily manipulated or if he's having to make do with plan B given that (in my personal opinion) heaven doesn't actually have the Book Of Life and therefore can't take more drastic measures against Aziraphale and Crowley.

According to this theory, Aziraphale lies to Crowley as to what the real reason is of him accepting the offer. If he told the truth, Aziraphale knows Crowley will try and stop him,  will insist on running away together. Crowley won't care about the threat: the only way to keep Crowley safe is to hurt him, to break his heart.

Aziraphale knows that freedom is more important than safety for Crowley. Always going his own way, always asking questions.

Crowley WOULD tell the Metatron where to stick it.

Aziraphale knows that Crowley would always put freedom above safety. We have known Crowley for roughly 500 pages and 12 42-to-60 minute episodes and we know it, Aziraphale has known Crowley for over 6000 years, surely he must know too.

Except...

"I knew you would come through for me. You always do".

Crowley would always put freedom above his own safety.

"I knew you would come through for me. You always do".

But what would Crowley do once the penny dropped and he realised that he wouldn't be the only one in danger? That Aziraphale would be under threat too if he refused to go to heaven?

"I knew you would come through for me. You always do".

Crowley wouldn't allow any danger to come to Aziraphale and Aziraphale knows it only too well. Would Crowley just accept to part ways without the heartbreak, if he knew about the threat? If he knew this was the only real reason of Aziraphale "accepting" the offer? Would Crowley accept to part ways, knowing that Aziraphale is sacrificing everything? Knowing that Aziraphale would always be in danger anyway, no matter what? I believe Aziraphale thinks Crowley wouldn't just leave him. "I knew you would come through for me. You always do". 

I believe Aziraphale thinks, and I with him, that Crowley would hang his head low and follow Aziraphale to heaven, admitting defeat. 

I believe that over his dead, discorporated, erased from The Book Of Life body, would Aziraphale let that happen. Crowley, who gifted humanity with the ability to tell good from evil and the freedom to choose between the two, reduced to be an angel again at the mercy of heaven, deprived of free will. Aziraphale won't allow that. 

Aziraphale is not lying to keep Crowley safe. He's lying to keep Crowley free.

What Aziraphale will do is being the hero we always knew he was going to be. What Aziraphale will do is gifting Crowley the freedom he didn't know he was about to lose.

What Aziraphale will do is telling Crowley he's one of the bad guys but he can be turned good again and be second in command in heaven, nonetheless. The side of Truth, of Light. Aziraphale will listen to Crowley saying things that don't bear listening to right now and he will look at Crowley in the eye and tell him that nothing lasts forever. He will utter the words "I forgive you" after a kiss he has been longing for, for so long. He will break Crowley's heart and his own in the process but he'll make sure Crowley keeps his freedom, be that the last thing he does.

I believe that if we, the audience, had any doubt as to which side Aziraphale chooses, then we really weren't paying attention for the last 6000 years. 

I believe now it will be time for Crowley to complete his arch and do the growing and the learning. Wonderful, brave, generous, compassionate, wounded Crowley. He said "trust me", Crowley. He said "trust me".

But Angel, oh Angel. You, just like Crowley, mean so much to us. Oh, the magic of storytelling! You both really do mean so much to so many of us and we just want to take your hand and tell you that everything will be ok in the end. 

But there's sorrow on the way and pain and loneliness. And possibly another Armageddon to prevent.

But Angel, oh Angel. Don't lose your Faith. Ultimately, you do know it, do you not?

You know he will come through for you. He always does.

[blazehedgehog]

After watching SAGE's 2024 trailer, you ever get the feeling that most people want to be making indie games instead of fan games nowadays,? Every year there's been less and less fan works there.

This is the first year I've really felt it in any meaningful way.

There have been attempts for more than a decade to rename SAGE to drop the "Sonic" part. I've always pushed back against that and at this point the branding is too strong to give up, I think. People know about and come to SAGE because the brand is strong. Renaming it would be a death sentence.

Taking off my business hat, it's a bummer to see fangames in the minority here. Everybody wants to hop on that indie game gravy train and chase the success of Pizza Tower (seriously, count how many Pizza Tower clones are in the trailer this year) or Freedom Planet or Spark the Electric Jester or whatever.

And it's easy to congratulate people for striking out on their own and making original games. I was one of the many voices urging Sabrina to divorce Freedom Planet from the Sonic franchise and make it into an original game she could sell. So she ran a crowdfunding campaign (multiple, actually), was successful, and now we have two Freedom Planet games. And that's great!

But... does that mean all fangames should go away forever?

The example I lean on the hardest is comic books.

A lot of the guys who created the biggest super heroes aren't around anymore. They gave up control long ago or are straight up dead now. These books are effectively officialized fanfiction now, as are the $300,000,000 movies based on them. An ever-increasing number of people writing, drawing and directing these characters today were not alive when they were originally created.

But people still keep writing Batman stories, officially or otherwise. Because there are some stories you can only tell with Batman. Now, you could break off and make your own character that's similar to Batman, build up this history for him, and then finally tell your original story with that character. And maybe that's satisfying, to have built something of your own like that.

But for one: that's a lot of work. Batman is interesting because he has decades (almost a century now) of history behind him to play off of and work with. There are people out there who will tell you to just start writing your dream story and forget about building up to it first, but that's more about motivation and confidence than the idea that stories don't need historical context.

And two: that's already been done.

There's a good chance you know who Rob Liefeld is from his, uh, "distinctive" art style. He also created Deadpool, a katana-wielding mercenary assassin that dresses in red and black, whose real name is Wade Wilson. But before Deadpool, he created Deathstroke, a katana-wielding mercenary assassin that dresses in orange and black, whose real name is Slade Wilson.

Here is a guy who has built a career on copying his own work (and the work of others) over and over and over again.

Did it make Rob Liefeld rich and famous? Technically yes, but he kind of got rich because other people made better work using his characters, and he's famous for being kind of a hack.

So which is better?

Creative output you can do right here, right now, today, but is considered "fanfiction" or "fanart" or a "fangame", which may or may not lead to you being the person handling the official thing at some point down the road...

Or spending years of your life toiling to bring an original concept to life, and even if you struggle through all of the boredom and hardship of getting your original product out the door, it gets lost in the noise of now-million other creators trying to do the exact same thing. And then, at the end of your launch, after 2, 3, even 5 years of working and working and working, you've only made enough money to cover rent on your apartment for a month and a half.

Or, to put it another way:

Are you ditching fangame development because you have a legitimately great story you want to tell, or are you just doing it because you can't make money on a fangame?

Are you just creating another Bloodstrike?

As someone who has struggled to justify putting lots of hard work into a fangame myself, and have both made very popular fangames and some not-so-great original games, I don't know if I have a definitive answer for you. But I do wish there were more fangames at the fangaming event, and I will say, as always, if I could get paid a livable wage for making fangames, I would drop everything and do it in a heartbeat.

[labia-majorasmask]

JJK Men taking care of you while you're sick (at varying degrees of competency and care)

in honor of me being bedridden by my seasonal allergies yesterday, here's a crack/drabble for y'all

ft. gojo, geto, nanami, toji, choso, sukuna, higuruma

Gojo - you text him that you wake up feeling like you got hit by a bus, and you think he's fucking with you saying that he's not around, but mans is at the pharmacy/chemist picking you up cold meds, tissues, and a lil snack (the snack is for him but he'll say it's for you). will watch tiktok compilations with you until you take a nap and then will take unflattering pics of u to show you (and his students) at a later date. will tease you with almost-kisses but won't kiss you because he doesn't want to get sick

Geto - already noticed that you were feeling off the night before and had the cold meds lined tf UP for you that morning, along with tea/a warm bev, a warm compress, and more pillows to prop up your head. will hang out with you and put on a podcast the two of you like and will put an extra blanket on you when you take a midday nap. will kiss you on the hand or the top of your head because those heal the soul.

Nanami - noticed you've been working hard and have been stressed out lately so he preemptively got cold meds, nasal spray, cough drops, a new pillow for you, and the nice tissues (you know the ones). makes you tea, soup, and jello [scientifically proven by the UoY [university of Yeetza, medical accreditation pending]] and makes sure you get enough rest. will watch mockumentaries with you while making sure the beverage you're drinking isn't coming out your nose while you both crack up. will not give you a kiss but will hold you

Toji - the one who got you sick, y'all are laid up feeling miserable a f together and share custody of the tissue box. took the last of the cold meds and does not have money to buy more. will watch trashy reality 2000s tv with you while you both chug hot bevs and chew ice chips because that is how the body heals from illness. y'all are not touching each other until you're both better, but i feel like he's down bad enough that he'd still kiss/hook up/etc with his partner even if they were sick. man is foul but i respect the dedication

Choso - is concerned that you're sick, doesn't know what to do, and brings home a mish mash of meds that are somewhat helpful (it's the thought that counts). finds a cute stuffed animal at the store, puts it through the wash while you're asleep and puts it next to you while it's still warm from the dryer. will warm up soup for you and if you ask him nicely he'll make airplane noises and feed you the soup. won't kiss you but will run you a bath and wash your hair and scratch your head and rub your shoulders and tell you about his day

Sukuna - (sukuna girlies please forgive me/don't come for me, i don't think of this man unless i'm objectifying him while i look at fanart) very mean about you being sick and bullies you to stay in bed. will throw pillows at you if you try and get up from bed, will take your phone away from you so you bore yourself to sleep. will make you make your own tea/warm bevs because he's a clinically diagnosed meanie head. will not touch you because you're sick and have germs, but will refrain from doing any fun activities without you because you're one of his preferred meatbags

Higuruma - someone give this man a raise, he'll work from home and get your meds delivered to you. will order your favorite comfort foods because he has a list of them saved in his phone, you don't even have to ask. will send unhinged tiktoks/instagram reels to you while he works and will have all of his meals with you. will hug you and kiss the top of your head, or kiss your hair while he forgets about water boiling on the stove until you both hear it overflow and sizzle

gonna scurry off into the night because i need to do paperwork that i didn't do yesterday, hope you feel better if you're sick :)

[cynthiav06]

People usually don't like Pernico because of Nico's age, but they still like Solangelo. What is your opinion about these two ships?

Personally, I don't think it's the age difference that sets off most people.

It's the idea that the Big Three are all more closely related than others and, therefore, should have sibling relationships. So, a lot of people believe in the idea of a little three sibling relationship.

I mean, Nico wasn't even aware of any time passing in Lotus Casino, so that time gap doesn't even count. Percy is only two years older than Nico otherwise, so it's not even a significant difference.

And there's another layer to it that they believe since Percy didn't share Nico's feelings, Nico still pining after him is an injustice to Nico. (Nico stans tend to be a bit overprotective). So it is considered that Percy wouldn't properly love Nico properly if they got together, which I believe is untrue because Percy, out of all characters, loves completely and passionately always.

Sometimes, it's about the debate between the strongest demigods . Since Nico stans are believers in Nico supremacy over Percy even though canon doesn't really support that nor does Nico himself believe that, shippers think shipping him with Percy would clash and Nico supremacy won't work in Pernico.

I like Pernico in general, given the unique nature of their connections. How it's built on such mutual care and respect and a level of deeper understanding and even admiration with a ton of angst and misplaced guilt on both their parts.

It's a really interesting dynamic to work through for sure and I was quite into it initially but I really haven't seen any really good fanfics about Pernico around, so I am not really super convinced on why they would work so well so if you or anyone else has any good recommendations feel free to let me know.

(I like their dynamic together, and I think they are capable of creating a really unique connection, but I have read so many posts on big three kids sibling dynamic I kind of got swept in that).

As for Solangelo, I am not super into them, and I think their initial relationship was a bit hastily established, but they work well enough. Will however has the purely selfless nature to both accept and understand Nico's flaws and not call Nico out on it condescendingly and work through them with him without triggering any past trauma of his.

But i really believe Nico needs to process some stuff for himself before he gets into any relationship. I haven't read their book yet but will see but the fanarts of them were really awesome.

Sorry, I really haven't given much thought to either ship yet, but if you guys have some good fic recommendations or posts, feel free to send me those.

Nico, I think, doesn't really need to jump into any relationships right now, but regardless, these two would be my top ships.

[getvalentined]

R, S, and T for the ask game :-)

prompt for S is for Tseng if you'd like!

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

This is actually hard to say! Firstly, I see all ships as being friendships—if they're not friends, I don't think that's a good relationship. My favorite ship is still VinVeld, I think, but it's basically a pool noodle so it's hard to call it my favorite in fandom. I am the source of like 75% of the fanart ever drawn for those two, so like. The fandom is me. 😭

I think my favorite relationship altogether (romantic or platonic) within fandom right now, as in the ones where I interact with other people, is Strifentine. There are a lot of really fun people into their interactions all across the world, and I've honestly never had a bad experience on that side of the fandom. Pretty much everyone over there is very much "I'm in my lane and that's all there is to it," and that's basically how I feel about fandom in general so it's pretty great. Also I just love the character dynamic between the two of them in-canon (particularly the OG and AC), so it's always really nice to play with regardless of context!

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

I have a lot of random Tseng headcanons, but I think I've shared most of the fun ones at some point in the past. I can talk about one of my stupid Tseeve headcanons that works in conjunction with a Tseng headcanon?

My Tseng has had an on-again-off-again relationship with Reeve since he was about 20, often with long "off" stretches between the "on" periods—he's had plenty of flings and even the occasional repeat hookup, but his only actual dedicated relationship has been with Reeve. Given that he knows Tseng has slept with other people, Reeve does not know this until they're planning their wedding around 2012; he makes a joke about a jilted ex-boyfriend showing up to cause trouble, and Tseng says that won't be an issue since he doesn't have any ex-boyfriends. He didn't think this was a big deal, considering that he was more dedicated to his job than to anything else up until Meteorfall—which is one of the reasons he and Reeve broke things off so often—but upon discovering this, Reeve proceeds to have a minor internal crisis over whether or not that means all his boyfriends during their long "off" periods count as cheating. (They don't. Oh my god. They don't. Reeve. Please.)

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

Vincent is half-Wutaian! To be clear, all characters in Japanese media are generally meant to be viewed as partially Japanese unless broadcast very specifically as something else (IE: the Shinra family are explicitly intended to be white), but Vincent is so obviously part-Asian just visually that I'm sure it's intended in-universe. Grimoire has a different hair texture and base skin tone than Vincent, though, and his build and facial features are quite different, leading me to the conclusion that Vincent gets those visibly-Asian features from his mother. (Also seeing people go out of their way to portray Vincent as white gives me hives.)

[ for the A to Z ask game ]

[ravenshavenn]

Just wanted to say congrats on the followers, and I head canon Severus as autistic too. Sometimes I bring it out more in some stories than in others, but I do think it works and he was based off of a man who was on the autism spectrum too. Also, I'm autistic so let him be autistic. So, a question for you. How do you think Severus deals with having an autistic meltdown? Does he find a private place to let it all go? Does he just ward it off and keep it in with Occlumency? Something else?

Oh, and I thought of another canon thing that could support his autism. Autistic people often have trouble sleeping, and we see him prowling the corridors at night sometimes. Maybe his sleeping issues are related to his autism. Man hasn't heard of melatonin, or it just doesn't work for him. (It didn't for me).

Of course, sleeping problems could also be from PTSD/hyper vigilance which I also see him as having. Also, what is a secret stim that he does in private? And last question, sorry, but do you head canon Snape as smoking? It's a popular head canon and I'm asking because, if you do think he smokes, do you think smoking could count as a stim? :D

Snape and autism

Hi! Thank you so much for your comment its nice to meet someone else who's autistic and in the fandom! We're not alone lol :D and I've tried my best to add to the headcanons bellow, I hope you enjoy! :)

meltdowns - I think he'd unfortunately be a bit ashamed of them choosing to use his occlumency to mask until he could reach a quiet, dark corner somewhere that he could sooth himself but if he was unable to leave a situation for example becoming overstimulated during a meeting he would become noticeably agitated, snapping at anyone who dared to try and talk to him and leaving as soon as he possibly could hurrying away to let his guard down somewhere private

sleep - I agree I could definitely see his autism effecting his sleep patterns the dark circles under his eyes are DEEP I can imagine him trying to brew something for himself to help but giving up after it doesn't work and instead he just wanders the castle enjoying the dark and the silence. Although I can also see his brewing and dark magic research keeping him awake with the need to spend time on his special interests distracting him until morning and he realizes he has no time to rest, accidently pulling an all nighter several times a week just to have time to focus on his various hyperfixations or projects that he has on the go

However, I also agree that he definitely has other issues going on he could definitely have PTSD or depression (or both) meaning that he struggles to sleep and stays awake trying to keep himself calm and away from the negative thoughts swirling around in his head

smoking - I have thought about Severus smoking because I've seen lots of amazing fanart of it and it does pop up in fanfiction every now and again but I'm honestly not sure if I think he would or not

Personally, due to my own sensory issues I'm not a fan of smoking so if I was to selfishly headcanon him I'd have to say that he wouldn't and that possibly living in the time that he did it was popular and so Tobias smoked heavily leading to Severus hating it

Although, with his various mental health issues and it still being the social norm at the time I can definitely imagine him smoking and I can certainly see it being a stim, even though I don't smoke personally I know several others with autism who find the experience comforting and it can also help with anxiety as well therefore, easing Severus's nerves during his days as a spy

stims - Severus definitely tries to keep his stimming in public to a minimum by only rubbing his hands together but in private he feels more comfortable to express himself, I can imagine him grumbling to himself for comfort and making little sounds as he brews, bouncing on his toes when he walks about and tapping on nearby surfaces, also potentially biting his nails? Although he definitely doesn't acknowledge any of this as stimming and puts it down to his "nerves" while being a spy and believes he's just "fidgeting" as that's what he was told in his childhood repeatedly whenever someone saw him stimming

[cookii-moon]

Ninjago has social media so why not share some headcanons

so I was chatting with a friend and this came up and I wanted to expand on it and talk about it

Basically... how the ninja interact with the canon social media. Yeah. Twitter- I mean Chirp... is a thing in Ninjago. Canonically. And then never brought up again. So uh

What better to do than explore how the Ninja's social media life is going in relation to them being celebrities. And then post it on a social media at 9 pm. Headcanons under the cutoff yayy

Ok so first off Cole because he started this mess and I want to get him out of the way because I want to get to the other's.

He's... I mean are we going to deny he's popular... He was kinda already a celebrity before becoming a Ninja thanks to his family history. Either way, he is very afraid of the omnipresent conglomorate known as a fanbase. They scare him so he just does not interact with them whatsoever, yet he still somehow manages to remain VERY popular with fans for... a variety of reasons... his lack of interaction means they feel like they can get away with a lot of things. Despite this Cole does still have exactly one active social media account and it is an anonymous (Insert Ninjagan equivalent to Instagram here) where he quite literally just posts art randomly and daily and says absolutely nothing. By anonymous, I mean he pretty much just has an online name and profile picture that he made up that has no connections to his personal life or being a ninja. The other Ninja are aware he has an art account, but not of the name or any other details, so they've made a secret game out of finding his social media identity. It remains yet to be found, which is either a relief, to Cole (though he isn't even aware of it) or sad, to the people who are betting on it.

Lloyd!! Little candy loving goblin man!!! Lloyd is awesome I want to draw him more often hhh

Lloyd kind of just talks about funny things, posts memes, and shares cool fanart. He tries to steer clear of negativity in general because good lord knows he's far too exhausted from his own trauma and stress to fight the internet. He just tries to turn a blind eye to stuff but he still gets caught up in the web that is social media sometimes, what with fame and all that, which often ends in him getting emotional. And subsequently having Kai offer to punch somebody. His socials are public but he doesn't advertise them much at all for the sake of a peaceful atmosphere, so he has like a decently small follower/sub/whatever count for how popular he is. His fanbase is pretty tame for the most part, though there are a few overbearing young children who don't quite understand things just yet.

Kai, the guy who made chirp canon by posting about being in the hospital and causing a break in that probably violated several laws and frightened the children.

... I mean it's kind of canon that he uses socials. Since he's likely one of the only two Ninja with public and advertised accounts, people flock to him a lot over that fact alone, so not all of them are necessarily there for Kai. He has a pretty dedicated fanbase of people who like him for his charm and personality, but he also has a few people who find him annoying and pretentious. Some people kinda don't mind him and just follow him for Ninja news or snippets in general, even though he doesn't just post about Ninja stuff. Since it's kind of hard to convey a personality in.. you know... text... unless you know someone REALLY well, he tends to have a bit of a divide in the community over how he comes off as arrogant or full of himself sometimes.

Nya our local girlboss who's movie counterpart rides a straight up motorcycle through hallways endangering hundreds of children- look I love Nya but principal where are you.

She does have a social, but she rarely uses it. When she logs in every month or so it mostly just consists of roasting Kai or answering curious fans. Despite this she does look at the fanbase every now and then because she finds it equally parts heartwarming and, when it comes to the idiots and trolls, amusing. She's pretty popular because of her general attitude and girlboss vibes.

Zane, robot man with infinite access to the entirety of the web.

So hear me out here... I don't think he has an actual social, but I think he edits wikipages. Like not fandom or anything just straight up Wikipedia. In every language. (or, well, regional dialect?) I know it's really specific but that just seems like something he'd enjoy. It's a secret hobby. He'll be up at night facing the wall in his bed, eyes open trying to finish this wiki article because new info about prehistoric dinosaurs and their connections to birds came out and he has to document it right now oh my god, and the others think he's just like asleep or smthn. It just makes him really happy. His fanbase isn't as large as the others, but he's still very well liked by the majority of the ninja fans, even though he rarely interacts with social media outside of interviews (because Jay is actively trying to stop him from getting anywhere close to it so that he doesn't have to explain certain things)

And last but not least... Jay... the social menace of the internet.

He's the second ninja with a public and well known account, and he's very popular. He talks about everything. Funny memes. Fanart. Silly thoughts. And he loves gossiping about the other's in good fun. His sole purpose is to entertain both others and himself, and he is very good at it, even online. He's also really involved in the community and likes giving shout outs to talented people and such. Being really involved also means he knows their secrets. He knows about the more sus parts of the fanbase. He knows about the secret Benedict cult. He knows about the real reason Cole and Nya are so popular. Sometimes, he'll deliberately mention these parts of the fanbase, randomly and oftentimes months apart, and just set the place ablaze because he finds it funny. Nowhere is safe from him and they all know it. It's become a meme at this point with some even people making up wacky conspiracy theories about him being omnipresent or the account being run by a robot with very well programmed bad jokes. But his sheer presence in the fandom and his personality makes him very popular. And the social he uses is probably YouTube, but he also streams sometimes. On YouTube. Not twitch. He never changed. Ever. The others love coming in during a stream and messing with him or teasing him in chat. Mostly Cole and Nya. They're subbed both to be supportive and so that they get the notification whenever he's live or uploads so that they can leave a comment. Because of course they would. Cole's YouTube account is the only account he ever uses that's public, and he made it for the sole purpose of teasing Jay. If that doesn't say best friends, then I don't know what does.

[somereaderinblue]

It's already Day 6 of Trigun Fanfiction Appreciation Week. I don't want any regrets so here goes: I give you a VW mpreg rec list. If this isn't your cup of tea, that's fine. If it is:

what I am trying to cultivate… by Altered-Havoc (Altered_Karma)

100/10, I've lost count on how many times I reread this. Both of them have suffered & after everything, they finally get a soft epilogue. Angst? Who dat? This is 80% comfort to me.

Surprise, Wolfwood! It's A Bouncing Baby Plant! by @attackofthezee, rated T

WW returns from the dead & there's a surprise waiting for him. 3 guesses as to what it is.

Until The End by squishycake, rated E

“Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is no other version of this story.” – Richard Siken A bittersweet fic wherein an aging WW makes peace with his mortality but not before Vash two new lives.

Innocent Souls by NaughtyJacks (JackalJamboree), rated T

In a quiet moment, Vash asks WW to bless the two blessings he carries. Vash knows WW is still keeping secrets from him, but he also knows that he's decided to choose Vash & his kids over them. And that only makes him love him more.

o' light, won't you shine (upon souls of youth) by seventhgiver (fifthgiver), rated T

Another bittersweet fic wherein WW still faces his canon death, but Meryl & Milly are there to support Vash through thick & thin. There's angst, but it really does have a happy ending.

dear star and spring bud, my preachers by elemmacil, rated T

Post-canon AU where VW have a child. Does a great job at depicting their awe over the fact that they were allowed to make this dream their reailty.

I've Taken to Calling Him Nico by mak000000, rated G

Short one-shot wherein Vash tells WW that the little boy he assumed to be Lina's baby brother is in fact someone's kid. 3 guesses as to who's the father.

i’d give you the sun (i’d give you the sun) by justotherdays, rated M

Set post-Trimax, full of nothing but tenderness & a much deserved happy ending.

This is not humanity's song, this is ours by O_ToJoy, rated M & T

An AU where Knives's victory is short-live & WW has to pick up the pieces, one of said pieces being Nikolai. He's 16 years too late, but that won't stop him from trying.

Talk About Timing by lucifergooseifer (Lucifergooseifer), rated M

A small detour causes everything to NOT go according to plan. BUT! Nothing (too) bad happens, I swear.

A Black Angel at Your Side by hazeltea (madlovescience), rated E

I would've listed this at the top but then I read it, cried, & slapped it here. I want to devour this but also throw up. On a side note, I like how this fic depicts Livio's still somewhat religious view on Plants & how said view is deeply embedded in NML's culture, which causes conflict with the Earth Federation. There's also a Meryl POV chapter where she justifiably remains wary of Livio/Razlo, which really individualizes her. Also has fanart.

Flower Dew, Deep Waters, Desert Thirst & Use My Heart by cloudbureiku, rated E & M

Aside from smut, there's also tender caring & non-sexual intimacy, all of which are three of many reasons why VW is our bread & butter.

Lavender by @vaporame

Gotta love it when Plant pregnancy involves markings & telepathic bonds. Totally makes breaking the news to your s/o less nerve-wracking. Their other VW works are also recommended.

Modern AUs

To Build a Home by hielhue, rated G

Everyone is alive & happy, and WW narrates how he met Vash, fell in love & started a family.

cause everything else is a substitute for your love by @sascake, rated M

VW have a bad history when it comes to using protection despite one of them ironically owning a sex shop. They're not perfect but they make it work.

little moment verse by justotherdays, rated G & M

VW's journey as parents. In the second fic in the series, the author isn't afraid to write how some parents, no matter how much they love their child, still inevitably struggle. Which is why it's important to have support.

devil on your shoulder (or the angel laying on your tummy) & paint the town red by cloudbureiku, not rated & G

The former guest stars the one & only Kuroneko while the latter shows us why it really isn't advisable for heavily pregnant parents to sit on the floor.

[mazerunner-rarepairs]

Maze Runner Rarepair Bingo: Rules and FAQ

Which ships qualify as rareships?

All ships with less than 150 fics where they are the main ship posted to ao3.

Qualify: Brenderesa, Soniet, Minally, Nally, Trenda, Nalby + all other possible ships you can think of!

Don't qualify: Thomesa, Thomally, Newtmas, Thominho, Minewt, Thominewt

When does the event take place?

The bingo runs throughout the month of May - May 1st to May 31st.

Read on for rules & FAQ 🔽

Rules

When posting, tag this blog and add the tumblr tag #rareshipbingo2024. Indicate which square your submission fills.

Fic and Artwork needs to be original, that means created for the event.

Any submission types are welcome for the Rarepair Bingo. fanart, fic, fanvids, moodboards, podfics - knock yourselves out!

The AO3 board however can only be filled with fic.

All topics are allowed, the one important thing is to tag your works appropriately. With darker themes err on the side of caution. If you're unsure, feel free to reach out.

If you post nsfw fics to tumblr, make sure you put the text under a read more break (just type :readmore: and hit enter).

You must be 18+ to submit explicit content.

I will be marking all nsfw submissions with the community label for sexually explicit content, so those who don't want to see nsfw submissions make sure to enable community labels.

This event allows all kind of content regarding maturity and topic - I expect followers and participants to practise good fandom culture and adhere to the don't like don't read principle. No bashing ships or tropes you personally don't like.

Unnecessarily hateful comments are to be deleted without response after you notify me, the mod, about them. (Just message this blog)

Upload your fics to the AO3 collection .

Addition made on May 5th: platonic ships are also allowed! For more info see this post.

Clarification: the rarepair needs to be the main focus of the fic. pairings that don't qualify as rareships can appear in your work, but only as a side ship. if you're unsure about this rule feel free to contact me.

FAQ

Is there a minimum word count for fics? No.

Are poly ships allowed? Yes.

Can one submission count for multiple squares from the same board? No. You have to decide which square you want to "use" your submission on, even if it combines prompts.

Can one submission fount for 2 squares on different boards? Yes! Eg if you write a fic for the square "poetry" and it's also the first fic for a ship, it can count for both the poetry square and the "write the first fic for a ship".

Can I submit WIPS? Yes.

Can I submit new chapters of a current WIP? Yes. If you have a rareship fic that you've been dying to continue, feel free to use the bingo as a motivator!

When is the reblogging perios? May 1-31st.

How does the Extra Rare Advanced AO3 Bord (For The Very Insane) work?

All the AO3 squares are to be filled in regards to the AO3 tag before April 22 - today.

Example: if you want to write a Rachel/Miyoko fic, and someone coincidentally would post one before the start of the bingo, your Rachel/Miyoko fic would still count for the "Be the first to write a ship" square.

Similarly, and using the same example as before, if 2 bingo participants decided they wanted to write Rachel/Miyoko, the person who posts their submission second would still get to fill the "Be the first to write a ship" square.

This applies to all AO3 squares:

If your fic is longer than all the fics posted before April 22, it fills the "Write the longest existing fic for a ship" square.

If before April 22nd there was no "General Audiences" rated fic for the rareship of your choice, your fic fills the "Be the first to write a rating no one has written for the ship before" square.

If you need help using the AO3 filtering system to figure out if you would be the first to write for a ship or for any of the other AO3 squares, drop this blog an ask and I'll help you out! I know not everyone is familiar with AO3 and I want this event to be open to everyone, including AO3 newcomers.

-

If any questions remain, don't hesistate to get in touch!

This post may be edited if further questions arise.

[parismemes]

SENTENCE STARTERS FROM AN ARGUMENT THAT GOT OUT OF HAND: THE SEQUEL

"are there more eyes or legs? in the world."

"i feel it in my bones."

"think about all the beetles and the ants."

"but think about all the fish."

"there are way more bugs than fish. every bug has like 6 legs. but every fish has like 2 eyes."

"how do you know how many fish there are?"

"um i speak to the fish personally they told me."

"i'm just saying i've seen like a million spiders in my house but i've never seen a fish."

"ok well potatoes also have eyes and there are way more potatoes and fish combined than bugs."

"have you SEEN ants? they're everywhere."

"one quadrillion ants."

"SPIDERS HAVE A PROPORTIONATE NUMBER OF EYES AND LEGS."

"110 TRILLION MOSQUITOS."

"DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH A QUADRILLION IS?"

"DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY POTATOES ARE IN A MILLION METRIC TONS?"

"the bugs will kill your potatoes and then what will you have?"

"consider: every person with glasses has four eyes."

"we're not accepting metaphorical eyes."

"THERE'S SO MANY BUGS YOU CANT EVEN SEE."

"legs are amputated more often than eyes."

"it's called being creative."

"if something is called a leg or an eye it counts."

"source: IT'S A QUADRILLION ANTS."

"there's not 2 quadrillion fanart. that's literally physically not possible."

"oh it must've flew by me because we are going so fast."

"NEEDLES HAVE EYES."

"millipedes. there are so fucking many of them, dude. they have so many legs."

"i'm not talking about needles, ___. i'm talking about real things."

"YEAH MILLIPEDE GANG!"

"needles are real, you fucking pickle."

"NEEDLES ARE FAKE NOW?"

"they are only figments of our imagination. collective mass hysteria."

"i've never seen a needle in my life."

"millipedes are fake."

"look at these religious texts. they prove the millipede."

"THIS is subliminal messaging actually. this beamed the idea of millipedes existing into your brains."

"what does that have to do with religion?"

"bugs reign supreme."

"bugs aren't real."

"YOU BE NICE. THEY'RE LITTLE. THEY'RE TOO SMALL TO FIGHT BACK AGAINST YOUR HATE SPEECH."

"bug bug bug. IT'S BEES BABY!"

"i'm full of bugs so i count."

"HE'S NOT MULTIPLE PEOPLE."

"that's like saying every time i move my leg it's a new leg."

"you sound like a dumb ass."

"eyes are more common because full bodies are a pain in the ass."

"it's not a good measurement because literally anyone can unbalance it."

"you're just mad because millipede supremacy."

"sometimes things don't work perfectly, ___!"

"ANTS ARE TEMPORARY."

"what the fuck is a millipede."

"ants reproduce so fast. they multiply. like rabbits which ALSO HAVE MORE LEGS."

"THEY'RE STILL TEMPORARY. EVERYTHING IS."

"ants live for ever."

"newton's law says that we do know that."

"newton can't tell me what to do. fuck the law."

"oh yeah the one hurricane happening at any given time ever?"

"i feel like you guys don't know how big a quadrillion is."

"THEY CAN'T DEFEND THEMSELVES SHUT THE FUCK UP."

"I CAN'T GO TO COURT FOR AN ANT I DON'T KNOW THE ANT LAW."

"you know what? i'm starting to think YOU aren't real. what living person would be so cruel to little guys like them? no one real that's who."

"that's not even mentioning the beetle and mosquito and scorpion and crab and starfish AND CHAIR AND TABLE."

"no they don't bitch ass."

"stop this anti-ant propaganda."

"i know more about ants than you do genius."

"says the person who thinks OHIO is a place."

"capitalism propaganda is notoriously pretending the midwest does not exist."

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW MY BUGS?"

"if ants were real, they would have five eyes."

"HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF CAPITALISM?"

"that's not true 5 is a stupid number for eyes."

"ohio is fake."

"baby. baby boy."

"the midwest IS capitalist propaganda it exists only to produce corn and middle-american families with traditional values, everything else is an outlier."

"he's got little boots!"

"you say that like the people in the midwest were not exploited by the capitalist society of america and by the time certain parts of the midwest became of little use to the capitalist machine, the system ultimately failed them and broke them down. the midwest, especially the rust belt, was a precursor and a warning of capitalist failure."

"LOBSTERS!"

"ANOTHER WIN FOR THE PRAWNY BOYS!"

"iguanas have three eyes."

"it doesn't count for eyes unless more eyes than legs."

"potatoes have zero legs and can have up to ten eyes."

"two is less than a quadrillion."

"okay but tiamat only has four legs and she has ten eyes."

"i was gonna say something really bad. it was about the h... never mind."

"that's what the government wants you to think."

"are YOU a capitalist too?"

"worms on strings have two eyes and no legs."

"THERE ARE JARS AND JARS OF FREE FLOATING GOOGLY EYES IN THE WORLD."

"they probably cost a lot of money."

"i straight up thought you were saying there were jars and jars of actual real eyes and i was gonna ask you how you'd even know that."

"well, when they prepare your body to be buried, they take an ice cream scoop and scoop out your eyes."

"YOU'RE HURTING OUR ARGUMENT. YOU JUDAS."

"i'm going to eat your eyes and then there's gonna be two less eyes in the world."

"oh yeah, the QUADRILLION snakes?"

"beholders literally are not real."

"habushu has a snake in every jar."

"i was just too busy trying not to say human centipede."

"i have so many grass hopping outside."

"cicadas... the sweet song."

"why is your grass hopping?"

"i also have so many house centipedes just living here in my basement with me."

"you said they weren't real."

"you take things i say seriously and that is your issue not mine."

"i have autism."

"we ALL have autism."

"i'm sorry you took my word as god on the realness of a common household item."

"my mental fortitude is unmatched i am a FORTRESS."

"my fortress is only legs. wake up."

"WHAT ABOUT THE BABA YAGA?"

"i made a diagram of the house."

"there are literally two eyes in that picture."

"OH SO WINDOWS ARE EYES NOW BUT THEY CAN'T BE DOORS?"

"ok but are there more windows or doors in baba yaga's hut?"

"I GUESS THE DEFINITION OF A WINDOW IS ONLY FLUID WHEN IT SUITS YOUR ARGUMENT."

"windows are NOT EYES. but they are doors."

"I ASSUMED IT WAS A RABBIT. SO FUCK YOU."

"how can we trust your judgment now?"

"damn even triangles got legs."

"my refrigerator also has legs cuz it's running. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

"i gotta go catch my fridge."

"or will your fridge catch you...?"

"no, he's scared of me."

"the most dangerous game."

"i would be scared of you, too, if you opened me up and looked at my insides when you were hungry."

"i can't count all the glasses in the world and history of it."

"do not eat the bees. we need them. they're disappearing at an alarming rate."

"lots of bees. lots of legs."

"ok. don't see how that's more than a quadrillion."

"i literally gave you needles"

"insects don't fucking EXIST."

"in my heart they exist, and i think that absolutely counts."

"i'm sorry you can't afford better glasses but when you get the right prescription everything becomes clearer and you can see the little guys."

"THERE'S LIKE FOUR PEACOCKS. ever."

"name one peacock--- oh shit kung fu panda. name two peacocks!"

"name one of them and DON'T SAY THE ONE FROM KUNG FU PANDA."

"unfortunately, i did know someone in our town who had a pet peacock."

"check facted."

"ok that's not a quadrillion."

"i don't think that's a real number."

"how can anyone possibly count that high?"

"BACTERIA DO IN FACT WALK!"

"see you in a few years."

"the eyes decompose so nobody wins."

"eye socket isn't part of the eyes."

"leg bones are part of the leg."

"leg bones aren't called leg, they have other names."

"leg is connected to the. leg bone."

"put me into orbit."

"bones in the legs are more often referred to by name, such as tibia."

"some of us are stupid."

"mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. haha microwave."

"so you can count the bones but only if it's a full skeletal structure of a full leg."

"snotelek wins again."

"WAIT THERE'S SO MANY DEAD BODIES MISSING THEIR EYES IN THE GROUND."

"THE SKELETON ARMY COMES THROUGH FOR LEG GANG!"

"oh my fucking god the queen died."

[fans4wga]

Hi, I had a question about your pinned post on the question of if fanfiction is scabbing. Because it says "who don't want to join SAG-AFTRA in the future can keep posting normally". So if we do want to join, does that change things?

Thanks for asking this question! We know it's a potentially confusing time for creators. Fic will never be scabbing because it's not something studios use for marketing/promo; it's entirely a hobbyist pursuit that can't generally be monetized.

Things are slightly trickier with cosplay and fanart, which have been definitely been used as an arm of studio marketing before (think paid partnerships where, say, Marvel hires popular cosplay accounts to promote a new superhero movie; or a well-known fanartist creates official tie-in art for a new TV show.) The line between fanwork and marketing gets blurred a bit here. Basically, artists and cosplayers should avoid doing that kind of promo/marketing for studios, whether it's "organic" (aka free) or paid.

If you want to join SAG-AFTRA in the future, fic is still fine, and small fan/hobbyist accounts with insignificant followings can pretty much do what they want as long as studios aren't paying you to do stuff. As there's no call for a boycott, watching stuff and talking about it is totally fine.

But if you have any kind of significant following or have done brand deals/studio partnerships before, aka if you count as a social media influencer under SAG's definition, don't use your social media accounts to promote struck work because that's potentially reason for SAG to bar people from future membership. (This will likely be on a case-by-case basis and there may or may not be grace for people who just misunderstood the rules. I imagine SAG may be more keen on disciplining people who were fragrantly strikebreaking, but that's up to union leadership!)

There are still grey areas. But as a rule of thumb, if you have any kind of significant following that edges into "influencer" territory, use your discretion with how your posts might be seen as promoting struck work, and probably err on the side of caution if you want to be a SAG member in the future. In the meantime while the strikes last, you can always post about books, indie film, and other non-struck work! (Dracula Daily, anyone?)

(As an aside, WGA does not have the same no-promo rules for its members as SAG, so it's slightly different. For the WGA, scabbing = pitching or doing writing work for the studios.)

[aheckinmess]

(One-shot series 3/3 chapters posted - posted regularly on Saturdays. If anyone knows who to credit for the Hizashi fanart, please let me know!)

Read on AO3.

Tags: Graphic violence, Hizashi Yamada x OC, Present Mic, Present Mic saves the day, Hizashi Yamada is a ray of sunshine, angst, hurt/comfort, smut, fluff, pro hero to the rescue, learning how to people again, no longer a puppet, wedding time

Word Count: 5,127 words

Summary: One year after breaking free of a horrible life, Ichijiku has made great strides in her mental health and trauma, as well as her relationship with Hizashi. As their impending wedding approaches, Ichijiku starts worrying about the possible roadblocks intimacy could create. One apathetic Aizawa lends his aide and advice.

Author's Note: I haven't posted fanfiction in years, but after a two-year obsession with My Hero Academia, I have more than enough content to share. This first series is pretty dark, but there's some comfort and sweetness along the way. Enjoy.

Content Warning: Smut included in this chapter.

Chapter 3: Harmonious Happenings

Ichijiku (Tigress)

"Are you ready to head home?"

"No. I need to walk around a little bit. I want to talk to you about something, but I'm not sure how to bring up the subject."

"Is this about physical intimacy with Hizashi?"

I look up at Shouta with shock and disbelief. I knew even before we became friends that he was good at reading Hizashi's mind, but damn! Is he sure erasure is his only quirk? Telepathy seems to come in at a close second. But I can't help it. Such a topic while walking down the street makes my cheeks turn pink. "Y-Yes. Am I that obvious?"

"That...was just a lucky guess." He admits with a drawl. "You've been acting a little off since he proposed to you. It's been, what, six months?" As if you're not keeping count, Logic Boi. He's your best friend.

"Yeah...the wedding will be coming up any day now." That's brought on a whole new wave of conflicted emotions. "I guess I'm just starting to get really anxious. I'm scared."

"About the preparations or about marrying Hizashi?"

"Well, a little of both. But mostly the marrying Zashi part." I admit, fidgeting with the ends of my sleeves in the autumn breeze. "This time last year I almost cut him out of my life entirely for similar reasons. But it's not the same. I'm scared because if he ends up like Kigai–"

"I'll personally wring his neck for you." Shouta finishes for me. "Hizashi is one of the most easy-going people I know. He won't take advantage of you like that. You've been with him long enough to know that. There's something else you're afraid of then, right?"

Damn Logic Boi.

"Right..." I sigh, wondering if this is a conversation I should be having with him and not my therapist. Ms. Sheila said having friends and confidants to talk to are just as important. "I'm worried that...I won't be able to be that intimate with him like he wants right away."

"Okay. Why does that worry you?"

"Because I," Warmth starts creeping into my neck. "Because I've...been able to tell that he gets excited...ahem and I've been privy to that too. So I'm scared that he'll think he's obligated to it once we're married."

"When he first wanted to kiss you, did he seem to think he was obligated to it?"

I blink up at him. "You know about that?"

"Ichi, Hizashi was bouncing off the walls before he went to that hibachi place with you. I'm surprised you got through the first three minutes without him confessing his love on the spot." It sounds so amusing with his dry delivery.

"Oh." Was I really that oblivious? Wow, guess you really are more stupider than I thought. You were still hypervigilant and afraid. It's only natural you'd have missed the signs. "Well...no, he didn't seem to think he was obligated to it, I don't guess."

"Then what makes you think he'd feel obligated to sex?" His tone isn't judgmental, just curious. I'm grateful for it.

"Well, it's different than a kiss, you know? I mean people kiss each other all the time. It's a lot easier to say no...or to stop if it gets too scary." My poor sleeves go through the wringer as I start rambling. A man passing by yells so loudly that I flinch. "B-But it's much harder with sex. If I think I'm okay to start but have to stop, I can't just tell him no in the middle like when we kiss."

"Why not?"

"Because then he'll be mad." I whimper. Eucalyptus tickles my nostrils and I grip my chest and the front of my shirt. "He'll be mad and then he'll hit me and leave me alone."

"Ichi, you're gripping your shirt. Take a deep breath." Shouta instructs.

"Shit. Not now. I'm sorry." I put my face in my hands and grip my hair. "I'm so sorry."

"Take a deep breath. You're safe. He's not here now and you're walking on the sidewalk with me. There's a fire hydrant coming up and a woman rocking her baby while she waits on the bench for a bus. The streets are chatty but not bustling and the wind is cold. Someone's selling fried rice because I can smell it from here. Breathe." He says, immersing me in my present surroundings like my therapist has advised me to do.

Rough sidewalk. Red fire hydrant. Baby crying. Screeching bus tires. Cold wind. Fried rice...with shrimp and broccoli. The visual and sensual cues help me the most. It helps ground me in the present. I inhale and I exhale and the eucalyptus starts to fade. Kigai's hand ghosts my shoulder but I focus on the white lines drawn on the crosswalk and a little girl's cheerful laugh as she swings her doll around. It was the guy yelling that sent me out of it. We're still in the present. Everything is okay. That's it, Little One. Good job.

"Thank you." I take one final breath and glance at him for a moment before I regroup and go back to my original conversation. "Anyway...it's just not the same, Shouta."

"Of course it's the same. You're allowed to tell him to stop at all times. Whether that's before or during the act." Shouta reassures me.

This is new information that makes me pause. You're being a little tease, aren't you? Telling me you want it and changing your mind? Bullshit! You're mine and you'll do exactly as I tell you! I nearly halt right in the middle of the sidewalk, but I power through, needing to have this conversation. I need to talk to someone and hopefully get some coping strategies before I have to pull through this with Zashi. Shouta's probably one of the best people to do that with. He knows him so well.

"Kigai...stopped caring about what I had to say the first time I tried to resist." I admit, tapping my teeth together in my mouth as I purposefully avoid eye contact.

"That's rape." Shouta's voice changes. He still sounds apathetic, but I've learned there are certain intonations where I can tell he's upset. This is one of those times. "Only a scumbag would do that."

"So if I decide to try but...we're in the middle...erm, doing stuff and I get uncomfortable...I can tell him to stop?" I rub my arms nervously, but not because I'm flustered about the subject now. It's because ghostly memories haunt the edge of my mind. "He won't...be angry with me?"

"Let me make this abundantly clear," Shouta begins as I unlock my door to my house and he helps me bring in my wedding finds. I have him set them on the counter while I close and lock the door. "Hizashi can be balls deep inside you and you're allowed to tell him to stop. Knowing Hizashi, who knows about your situation, he'll communicate with you how he needs to stop. If he needs to pull back entirely, if he just needs to wait for you to take a breath and continue, that sort of thing. Hizashi's not going to be angry at you for needing time to work through anything. You lived through hell for three years, Ichijiku. Both he and I and our other friends know that takes time to get over."

I can't help but laugh. Not only because it feels like a weight's been lifted from my shoulders, but also because I'd never expected to hear Shouta Aizawa say the words balls deep inside you to me of all people.

"That's encouraging to know. Thanks, Shouta."

"Of course. And if he ends up whining about it, I'll threaten to cut the circulation from his testicles and he won't have to worry about it at all."

. . . . .

Time flashes by until I'm adorned in a beautiful white dress with my hair twirled and curled in intricate fashion to frame my features. Anxieties ripple through my skin until I see Hizashi standing at the end of the aisle. My heart grows and swells inside my chest until I make it to his side, glowing with joy that he looks so awed and proud as I step up beside him. I give Shouta and Oboro a wave. Nemuri winks at me when I turn back to that side.

And then everything rushes by in a blur. We repeat our vows to the ordained and God, exchange a kiss that makes me dizzy, and then suddenly my last name is Yamada. The after party flurries by because I'd asked for a smaller ceremony, to which Hizashi thankfully obliged.

It's when we start getting closer to our honeymoon destination that I start getting nervous. Just breathe, Cub, remember what Shouta said. He won't do anything you're not ready for. That's the problem. I want to be ready for that. I have a high libido. I'm more than ready physically...but...I'm not at the same time. It frustrates me. Why wouldn't it frustrate him? Everything is going to be okay. When we finally make it to the beach house, Hizashi fully picks me up bridal style to walk me through the threshold. "I heard this was a tradition, so I thought I'd treat you." He laughs, setting me down once we get inside. He looks around. "Damn. This place is nice!"

He's not wrong. I look around and instantly feel the comfort of being in a large space to call my own for the next two weeks. "Oh, look!" There's a little basket setting on the coffee table in the living space. When I pad over to look at it, I flush with a nervous chuckle. "Eeps. It's from Nemuri." I can already see the pink thong sticking out in a folded flower and quickly walk in the other direction. "Y-You can look at that. I'm going to go try and get out of this dress."

"Would you like some help? Can you reach the zipper?" He asks as he also forgoes the gift offering for now.

I swallow, take a deep breath, and nod. "Yes, please." As much as I'm scared of what might come next, I can't get my dress off alone.

We make our way to the room we'll be staying in. My anxiety heightens as I'm innately aware of how close Hizashi is. I pull him into the master bathroom so I can start working on getting all of the pins out of my hair while watching him as he works the zipper.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asks me once he's got the dress hanging open for me to step out. I notice he's looking me over from the back, but he doesn't touch me. "Your breathing is off."

"I'm a little nervous." I don't feel the need to elaborate.

I wring my fingers and twist my newly acquired ring as I look down at it. Then I step out of my dress and start looking for my overnight bag full of clothes.

"Nervous?" Hizashi asks before his eyes widen and he seems to understand. "Oh! Oh. Hey, you don't have to be nervous, lovebug." He crosses over to me as I rifle through my bag and kisses my cheek, but doesn't even move to hug me while I'm half naked in front of him. "I won't do anything you don't want to. You excite me, sure, but tonight doesn't have to be about anything sexual if you don't want it to be." He chuckles to lighten the atmosphere. "Just don't mind me if my body responds. I'm a big boy, I'll be able to handle it even if I can't help what my body does."

I start pulling on some lounge clothes, exhausted from the long social day. When I turn to him, I carefully plant myself against his chest.

"That's...that's the problem. I want...I want you. I'm just scared of wanting you, because I'm scared of how I'll respond. I'm scared I'll disappoint you. I'm scared you'll be mad and it'll ruin everything." I swallow thickly.

He's quiet for a moment, which means a lot coming from Hizashi because he's usually so vocal. It makes me feel good to know he's really thinking this over and choosing his words carefully for me. His hands rub my back and I feel him plant a kiss on the top of my head. Safe. He's safe.

"Well, let's talk about how you want to address it then." He holds my chin delicately to make me look up at him. "Is it something you'd like to try tonight? Or something you want to try sometime this week? Or even further down the line?" He pauses before adding. "Before you answer, know that any of your answers are acceptable, lovebug. I'm willing to work with you. I know it's hard for you."

My eyes get glassy. How is he so wonderful? I have to push forward again to hug him tight, sniffling as I'm overwhelmed with affection that over three years ago I thought didn't exist - or if it did, I thought I'd never get to have it.

"I want..." I take a deep breath and gauge the swirling emotions in my gut. "I want to try...tonight...and throughout the week?" I pause again. "I don't want...to let Kigai influence how I react to you because I know you're not him." I squeeze him in my arms and am rewarded with a squeeze back. "But I don't know...how...to try it. I don't know what I'll be comfortable with or if I'll freak out. And that scares me."

"Hmm," He hugs me for a moment as he thinks. "Why don't we start with baby steps, lovebug? Would you like to try a shower together? That way you can just get used to me in your general vicinity without making any moves on you? Or do you need a smaller step than that?"

I think it over. That should be fine to start...knowing if I can handle him naked in my proximity...that would be good to know to begin with. And if you can't, just tell him that. He'll slow down for you. He's already made that pretty clear. Right...right. "I think we can try that." I agree, before pulling back and fidgeting with my pajama sleeves.

"Alright, well...how do you want to start this, then?" He asks, before he leans over to start the shower. "I guess to start with I'll let you choose the water temperature."

"Thanks." I focus heavily on my breathing for the next few moments, reaching in and adjusting the nozzles until I'm ready to turn on the shower. When that's done, I take a deep breath. "Okay...okay." Ms. Sheila said a good tip was to relax and start with what I'm comfortable with. "Can I have a kiss?"

Hizashi finally breaks into a smile and leans down to close the distance and set his hands on my hips to pull me closer. I'm used to this by now, it feels safe and familiar. I tug at his lip and run my hands along his chest over his shirt. As I feel more comfortable, I tentatively move my fingers under his shirt to do the same thing, just against his skin.

We're okay. We've done some of this before. I'm safe. This is Zashi. I move my fingers up his chest and around his neck. helping him wiggle out of his shirt. When I pull back for air, I'm rewarded with a delectably handsome sight that fills me full of longing...and fear.

I have to remember to breathe as I drink him in. Even though it's just his top half, I can already feel my tummy flipping and warmth make my body tingle. My fingers tremble when I rub my fingers over his abs.

"Are you okay?" He asks me through heavy breaths. "Do you need a minute or can I take off the rest?"

I squeak and hide behind my hands for a moment. It's okay. He's okay. He's safe. Breathe.

"Y-Yeah. If...if I need you to stop, I'll tell you." I promise.

I'm both fully and not at all prepared for when he pulls down the rest of his clothes. My breath gets shaky, but not for reasons I thought it'd be. My body is flooded with desire and eagerness. A soft sound escapes me when his cock starts to harden. Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die, indeed. I want it. You're mine, slut. Shut your fucking mouth, fiend. I tense involuntarily for a moment.

Hizashi clears his throat and asks, "Do you want me to watch you undress too? Or would you rather I hop in the shower first and wait for you?"

"Can, um," I hold my shoulder shyly and flush darkly. "Can you hop in first?"

He kisses my cheek. "Of course." And then he takes off his glasses and disappears behind the curtain.

It takes me a few moments to re-coordinate my mind and breathe, but when I do, I feel comfortable enough to strip down and ready myself. It's going to be fine. It's going to be okay. He won't hurt you, Cub. He's safe. And then I step into the shower.

As promised, Hizashi keeps his distance. He doesn't even look at me for a while as he just lets the water run over him. When he finally does catch my eyes, I don't miss how his eyes widen. He makes a little grunt and his cock twitches again, but to his credit he restrains himself.

"Didn't know it was possible for you to look even more gorgeous without clothes, but here we are." He teases with a wink, before going back to getting cleaned off.

His comment simultaneously fuels my lust and allays my fears. He...he didn't just grab me and have his way. He's being very careful and sweet and...god, it's hot. I manage to make it through the entirety of the shower without feeling too uncomfortable or having a panic attack. The closest I get to panic is when he asks about a scar on my back where Kigai threw a book at me. Somehow, though, I manage to get through an explanation without crying.

When we hop out and dry off, my emotions begin growing more intense. There's a wet place between my legs that I simply can't dry off. We get dry and I stand up on my toes to pull him into a fiery kiss that draws a moan from deep inside. God, that feels better than I ever expected.

His response is eager but hesitant. He doesn't fully touch me until I guide his hands to my bare hips. His arousal presses against my belly in a mutual desire as I move my arms back around his neck and grip him tight. All of the hot and heavy needs rolling around my body have me seeing stars. I pull back with heavy pants and press my forehead against his to look at him hungrily.

"W-Why don't...we move this to the bed?" My neck heats up as I ask.

"Are you sure?" Worry flickers in his eyes.

"I'm sure. I'll tell you if I'm not."

"Then, may I carry you?" He asks first, hands hovering until I nod. Only then does he pick me up with a flourish and carry me over to the bed. He gently lays me across the pillows. "How do you want me?"

Not Kigai. Not Kigai. Not Kigai. I remind myself as he looks down at me so softly. I rub his arms and pull at him to urge him further down. Okay. It's fine. This feels good. He feels warm. "Kiss me more?" I request.

"Happily." He obliges, tasting like spearmint gum and wedding cake.

We make out like this for at least five minutes, though it feels like an eternity of blissful intimacy. I can feel Hizashi get harder the longer we go, and I could swear I've accumulated a little puddle between my thighs by now. So I brave the waters and skim my fingers along his sides, up his arms, and guide him to squeeze a breast.

The jolt of excitement I feel draws a moan from me. The surprise I feel is so palpable my eyes flash open and I grip his hair to pull him closer. I like that. I'm not scared of him. I want more. This is nothing like it was with Kigai. Good job, Little One. But be mindful; don't let your guard down. I heed the tiger's voice. As much as I want to go feral and pick up the pace, I want to be cautious. I've learned through therapy and non-sexual experiences that even when it starts out easy, sometimes my trauma hits me out of nowhere.

Thankfully, Hizashi's gentle hands help keep me in a right frame of mind. He squeezes my breasts again before pulling back for a moment, rubbing his thumb slowly over my nipples.

"Is this okay, lovebug?"

"Yes." I purr, arching up into his hands eagerly. "I like that a lot."

"Tell me if it becomes too much." He reminds me, before he kisses the little valley between both breasts. "Is that okay?"

"Mhmm..." I massage the hand massaging me. "You can use your mouth, I think. It should be okay."

Even though I assure him, he still moves slowly as he puts his tongue to work. He starts on the least sensitive spot on the soft flesh outside of my boob and slowly works back in to my nipple, asking before he moves in each time. Once he seems to think I've been properly doted upon up there, he pulls back with that familiar worried glaze in his eyes.

"You think you'll be okay if I work my way down? I don't want to rush you."

I gauge my emotions and arousal. My heart's haywire, but not from fear. I'm pretty sure I'll orgasm if he plays his cards right (something Kigai never managed despite touting his conquest of me anytime he could).

"I think it'll be okay. But can you keep moving slowly?" I plead, looking up at him with all the fondness and vulnerability I can muster.

"Of course. I never want to hurt you." He kisses me sweetly, moves up to press another kiss on my forehead, and then moves his hand to rub over my belly while he move his head down so our tongues can dance again.

Soon, his fingers find their mark.

"Fuck, you're soaked." His cock twitches against my thigh as I flush and hide my face behind my hands. His soothing voice lilts into my ear to comfort me. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm glad I make you feel so good. Can I move my fingers?"

"Mhmm..." Even though I don't really say words, my voice still quivers. Not Kigai! I take a few deep breaths to drive my orgasm away so I can talk better."Just...start with my clit a little bit. Don't go straight in yet. I-I need a little more work-up so it'll feel better."

"You got it, lovebug."

His fingers play me like an instrument. And I've learned by now just how good he is at playing any instrument he gets his hands on. He plucks and presses my buttons experimentally until I'm singing out his composition. His finger rings around my clit as he bites my neck. The flurry of pleasure rushing down between my legs surprises me. I didn't think I'd like biting, but color me hot and bothered!

"Zashi!" I yelp out as my back comes off the bed. Endorphins rush through my body as I nearly cum right then. "A-Almost. So close." I pant, trembling under his hands.

"Good, lovebug. Do you want me to rub your clit some more or cum on my fingers?"

I squeak in embarrassment and I give him a half-lidded smile. "I want to feel your fingers...to see if it's going to be okay."

"I'll go slowly. Tell me if you're uncomfortable at any point." He coos, before a finger caresses my entrance. We watch each other as my orgasm builds and he seeks to please me without hurting me.

"I'm going to two now..." He breathes, eyes dilated and hungry as he pushes in another digit and I moan.

My fingers grip his hair and the sheets. So close. Almost there. Please. He keeps the pace slow until I beg him to move a little faster, unable to wait any longer. Almost as soon as he picks up the pace, I'm driven over the edge.

Only right before I cry out his name, I stop. If Kigai knows I'm feeling this good...he'll get jealous. Instinctively, I find my head lulling back as I stare blankly at the ceiling even as sweet bliss floods my senses. You know how good I made you feel, little whore? And you're giving HIM your orgasm?! STOP! You only brought my cub sorrow, bastard. At least Hizashi knows how to please her before himself, you selfish fuckboy.

"Ichan?" Hizashi notices the change instantly and pulls back completely. He turns on his side and covers his bottom half under the covers as he looks at me. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Was that too much? I should have–" But he never finishes.

A sob bursts out of my chest. I cover my face with my hands as the aftershocks of my orgasm bleed into the discordant notes of trauma wracking my body. I want to focus on the pleasure but only pain drips down my cheeks.

"He never made me orgasm." I blubber out, whimpers trickling out of my throat. "I-It felt...like I was going to get in trouble because that was the first time...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."

"Hey, shh..." He rubs my shoulder and kisses my cheek. "I'm here. No one's going to hurt you. You're allowed to feel good, lovebug. I'm glad I could make you feel good."

I sniffle as I turn over each of his words, breathing through each of them.

"You're not upset...that you didn't orgasm first...?" I ask fearfully.

"Ichan, if I had my way, I'd make you orgasm until my name was the only thing you could say. It's my pleasure to make you feel good. If I orgasm, that's an icing on the cake, but your happiness will always come first for me." He places his hand at my cheek as he looks at me in earnest.

In a tentative attempt at shouldering past the trauma Kigai left and recapturing the mood, I wrap my arms around his neck and tug at his lip with my teeth.

"Thank you." The sentiment hangs in the air like a comforting shroud for a few moments as we just hold each other. I stare up into the tender yellow of his eyes until I think I'm ready to continue. "I'm ready to try more...if you are?"

"I'm ready only if you're sure you're okay." He kisses my forehead again and combs his fingers through my hair. "How do you want me?"

Kigai's voice still tickles my ears as I think about my next request, but I grit my teeth, take a deep breath, and surge forward. You're mine, whore. You don't get to tell me that I'm yours anymore. Because I'm not! "Can...can you kiss me a little more and then...maybe try...going inside?"

It's a big step. I know it's a big step. But my stubborn determination and Shouta's reassurance ringing in my head that Hizashi will stop anytime I ask him makes the decision. Besides, I've always been driven by my emotions. And right now I'm high on feel-good hormones.

"Are you sure, lovebug? I can move slower if you need me to." Even as he says it, I can tell from his expression that he's eager. And who could blame him? I feel the same.

"I'm sure. I'll tell you if it's too much." I promise.

He doesn't go in right away, even after I reassure him. He's good to me and smatters kisses all over every inch of skin he finds while his fingers work me up again. I close my eyes and allow myself to feel good for once. This...this is what intimacy is supposed to feel like.

"I'm going to move in, lovebug." His voice is strained and I feel his hand on my cheek.

I open my eyes and give him a flushed grin. "Okay, Zashi. I'm okay."

As he moves in, I go from okay to good to great to exquisite. It takes some time - he's still very hesitant - but by the time he's fully buried himself inside me, my thoughts are a mixture of electricity and heady clouds. I start realizing why people call it cloud nine.

"Shit..." He breathes in my ear, sending a pleasant tremor straight down my shoulders and spine. He tries to move away from me but I hold him closer. "You okay?"

"Can you...talk in my ear some more...?" I squeak out, my hips already moving to try and get some friction. We've learned auditory cues are a big trigger for me. I wonder if having some positive auditory cues will help me relax? It's worth a shot. But be on your guard.

I can hear him smirk before he chuckles and gets in close again.

"Like this?" He purrs softly, sending my eyes rolling in my head. "Do you want me to tell you how much I love you? How sweet and loveable you are? How gorgeous?" With each word, he washes away my inhibitions and I feel my muscles relaxing. "I'm going to move now, lovebug. You still okay?"

"Yes." I groan, craning my neck over to indulge in a hot kiss.

I pull back and start trailing my fingers around the shells of his ears resulting in a response that makes me feel good inside. I feel his hips spasm and the high-pitched whine he unleashes in my ear has my body shuddering against him.

"So good...touch me more." His pace grows, and so does my need. "Make me feel good with those delicate fingers. Let me make you feel good, too."

"Zashiiiii..." I whine, moving up to lick his ear to see if that makes him feel good too. I'm not disappointed with the sounds he makes. "You feel good...it doesn't hurt...I love you so much." I whimper as he moves faster and harder.

When we're both at our limit and our orgasm begins to clash together in perfect harmony, Kigai's voice tries to interrupt again. No! You're not in control of me anymore. She's not your puppet!

So when we finally break together? Hizashi's name is the only one in my mind and on my lips.