A/N: This is inspired by a WIP of mine. It is pretty traumatising because the fmc is basically my trauma dump character, but yea, here ya go :D
Imagine that you've been through a lot, and you have the scars to show for it. They cover your arms and your back.
And you hate them.
You hate them because they remind you of how you suffered. How the people who hurt you took away the right to feel good in your body. There was a time when you had to cover up all the mirrors in your house because you couldn't bring yourself to look at you anymore.
You've gotten past that now, but you still cover yourself up when you go outside.
Then, of course, he tries everything to make you love yourself as much as he does. Kissing your scars every chance he gets, telling you how beautiful you are, just holding you like he would die if he let you go. Everything you put your arms around his neck, to dance or to hug him, he always presses his lips against your wrist as he smiles at you. He knows everyone of them and the stories behind them.
You weren't used to type of attention. Your exes distanced themselves when they saw them, or ignored them altogether. They never gave them any special attention, not like he does. They didn't kiss each one and asks about how you got it or wait patiently as the words got stuck in your throat. If you couldn't get them out he would move on and come back to them some other day. He, of course, remembered all the ones you didn't have answers to, easily finding them like your scars were a map he had memorized.
All he wanted to do was give you courage again. To be able to wear the clothes you loved before the scars. To not care about the looks people would give you if they saw them.
Both of you have been through so much. So many changes. So many disasters. But both of you will always stay and get through it together. He is your forever as much as you are his.
I never thought I’d do this, posting keenler in 2024 but here I am.
In my whole fandom life, I’ve experienced some really painful stuff. But Keenler was the biggest heartbreak I’ve ever had to face in this hobby. I know people outside these bubbles can’t understand but we do. The love, the energy, the emotions I poured into this, the pure devotion; I’ve never given as much of myself to something before them. Content creation for this fandom was second nature, loving this ship felt like breathing. Woven into my life in a way only you guys can understand.
In roughly 2 months, it’ll be 3 years since it all broke down. But if we’re honest, we knew it was falling apart in the months leading up to it already – we just didn’t know it’d be *this* bad.
Keenler, you will forever be my once in a lifetime. Thank you for one of the greatest times I’ve got to have so far. Thank you for connecting me to so many people on such a deep level. Thank you for being my greatest comfort during tough times.
You are what fueled my passion for editing and creating. Wherever I go, whatever I create – there will always be a part of you in it.
I will never forget the day it finally came crashing down on us. I’ll never forget June 23. I’ll never forget the pain that made us feel like there was no breathing anymore. How everything we poured into this, for years, was trashed and our unbound loyalty betrayed in the worst way a fandom can imagine. How they acted as if we, the support that made them big, had never existed.
It took me weeks to be able to look at anything fandom hobby related again. It took me months to try to edit again (and failed). Loosing keenler had made me numb in a way that made creating impossible, while before, creating was where I felt the strongest emotions ever. I truly thought I had lost the hobby I loved so dearly. It took me 8 months in total until I could somehow continue it. It was a long process with many ups and downs but today, 3 years later, I am incredibly grateful to not have given up on it. While there were multiple factors at play, I must owe most of it to rollisi.
So thank you, sonnshine and georgia peach. I cannot put into words how thankful I am.
Behind the scenes pics of the filming of the Blacklist finale in Spain shared by the wonderful Blacklist crew over the past couple of days on Instagram (Part 1).
I used to think that going it alone made me stronger. But that's not true. No, real strength comes from accepting that you're weak and that it's okay to ask for help.
rewatching the blacklist from the beginning & the thing that gets me is just how often Liz and Ressler… stare at each other??? like even in the early days when Liz was “happily married” and Ressler quite obviously didn’t trust her — they were always still just looking at each other, observing one another, gauging each other’s reactions to anything and everything. so like, of course Ressler knows immediately when something’s up with Liz’s marriage and of course Liz knows something must be really wrong when Ressler is late to work and has poor reaction time in the field… because they’re always looking at each other!!!
like there is a ridiculous number of throwaway shots of them watching each other in debriefings when neither of them even have any dialogue and aren’t even the focal point of a particular shot. and look, my shipper heart has been here since romeo, the access code is romeo but even I didn’t realize how blatant all the staring was. and now I’m so curious about if that was a director-level decision or if it was a diego/megan decision, because watching it with the benefit of hindsight on how their story ends just makes the evolution of their relationship so much richer.