#EMMA DIY

[trans-musicians]

Emma grrrl (she/her), Leader of She/Her/Hers

Spotify | Apple | Twitter | Insta

She/Her/Hers is a folk punk band from Michigan, USA with pop and metal influences. Their latest album features some slower chamber pop ballads.

I first heard She/Her/Hers after stumbling across their song Kill the Boy Band in 2019. It perfectly encapsulated how I felt as a teen surrounded by festival line-ups and Kerrang! full of nothing but white dudes.

[bra1nxfreeze]

Book related pins!

Including a custom Franz Kafka pin

[nepacala]

[hayden-davis]

Papercut Cinema on Instagram

Paper cut scene from "Poor Things" [2023]

[scalpelsister]

it is so dire out here as a cd collector

[knithacker]

Forget Fish Socks, Move Over Dragons Sock, These 3D Ankle Biters Are Jurassic! 👉 https://buff.ly/3eoAuEG

[bumblebeeappletree]

All you need is a needle and thread! This is a very simple step-by-step tutorial for how to back stitch a basic back stitch seam.

First, cut your thread to length. Measure out three times the length of your seam. Bite the string so it gets a pointy cut. I find using scissors gives a blunt cut that's prone to fraying and is much harder to thread the needle.

Thread your needle by rolling the thread in between your thumb and index finger. Slowly reveal the tip of the thread. Rest your needles eye on your finger and push the thread through the eye. I thread the needle through while my fingers are squishing the thread. Yes it can be a little hit and miss, but just line up the eye and the tip of the thread!

Draw a pencil line to give a sewing line. I find it impossible to sew in a straight line! Also, if youre sewing on a curve, this is a perfect way to plan your route and get a nice seam.

Now, the neat, slow & steady method is to sew one stitch at a time. The quicker way is to weave multiple stitches. See what works for you. Also, different materials (stiff or thick) can sometimes be difficult for the multiple-stitch weave method.

If you need to take a stitch out, just pull the needle off the thread, and pull each stitch out individually using the needle for control. Then re-thread the needle and you're good to go. The stitches are easier to reverse than in knitting & nothing will fall apart, so don't be worried about taking out stitches.

To sew a back stitch, remember to turn the thread back on itself and seal up every one of the stitches.

Finally, knot up your seam so it doesn't fall out. Make a stitch, but before your pull it through, pass the needle in the loop to make a knot.

If you're looking for a practical project to hand-sew, I have a face mask tutorial that is linked here:

https://youtu.be/CAnVd_DOVQk

Need a wee hand to get started?

Sewing kit: https://amzn.to/3ehrrCZ

Fabric 'fat quarters': https://amzn.to/3th0Vxy

#HandSewing #SewingTutorial #Sewing #HowToSew

[swashbucklery]

Things I’ve been into this week:

1. Got my COVID booster, spent 3 days in a Side Effect Fever Nest and am just now coming out of it, science rules but also science hurts just a little bit.

2. Re: point 1, am now a scant 40 hours behind on Critical Role C3 which feels like ~practically nothing~. I have several complex theories on the ways in which EXU is secret lore dumping for C3 and am struggling with how to find the people in this fandom that are Cool To Engage With. Accepting recs if you know anyone.

3. I checked my Switch profile and did you know that I’ve played 375+ hours of Animal Crossing since March 2020 because fuck me I sure didn’t. It’s that ten minutes a day thing, it catches up. Anyway I’m really proud of my island and since I’m still working through 2020s pop culture please know that I just now discovered the acnh.guide app which has made it a million times easier to actually figure out which bugs and fish I’m missing. I’ve made a ton of progress on completing my museum which makes me happy. I’ve also made a twitter account to share photos of my island build bc I’m really pleased with how it’s (slowly) coming together, if that’s your jam I’m @mermaidlamp on Twitter and I’m happy to make a tumblr to crosspost photos to if there’s interest. It’s night themed so it’s mostly just me on an eternal quest for lamp diys but maybe that’s your thing!

4. Last night I was rewatching some Buffy and I got to the scene in Once More With Feeling where Willow and Tara have a whole number about oral sex and like. Just thinking about the ways in which people make art about queerness has changed and the ways in which - like - when you couldn’t show two women kissing on TV you had to think a little harder? And the ways that intimacy and longing and desire can be communicated without kissing and the ways that on the one hand we’ve made such progress and on the other hand I think there’s an art that’s been lost? And maybe this just circles back to Everyone Is Beautiful But No One Is Horny but I really felt it, you know?

5. Has anyone played RDR Online recently? I’m downloading RDR2 onto my PS5 finally and I want to play Sad Cowboy Horse Sim because Laura Bailey being bad at describing horses made me absolutely pine for the RDR2 horse engine, but also as with point 2 I don’t have time to get cyberbullied by children. I can always play infinite post-game and I probably will; I could start a new game on the PS5 but gosh that epilogue broke my heart, you know? Anyway, I like to know my options.

6. Has anyone actually played the RDR1 port on the new PS Store Classics Collection? Does it work? Is RDR1 actually a bad game when played with fresh eyes or does mourning Arthur Morgan along with John add a certain je ne sais quoi that compensates for the pre-2010 graphics. If it helps I’m very bad at video games and am very attached to a few of the modern accessibility features to make games work for me.

I hope you’re having a good Tuesday. I love you and appreciate you. I’m thinking of doing a Legends rewatch from the very beginning and trying to decide if I’m going to rewatch Supergirl in parallel or if the complexity of that will make me lose steam. Always accepting new recs for television that is a) good b) going to scratch the Genre Fandom part of my brain real good and c I cannot stress this enough) not spooky or gory.

[ode2rin]

Mimi, I have a Very important question for you: are you ever going to update your blog theme 🤨

uhm uhm uhm next question pls.

[shirley-moore]

sewing patterns for Alluring Devil Emma and Nozomi from SIFAS, by 花花纸样铺

taobao direct link Emma Nozomi

shopping service link Emma Nozomi

[tyblackthornfrog]

What the tda characters would watch on youtube:

Julian: art and diy gift ideas for your girlfriend

Emma: dance videos and pranks

Dru: horror movie recs and music

Ty: random facts about literally anything, probably something with animals

Kit: breakup songs

Tavvy: how to make slime with no borax

Mark: doesn't know what that is

Cristina: isn't really interested in anything, but maybe some music

Livvy: gamers playing action games

<p.s. this is stricly my opinion and i thought it would be fun! toodles>

[clavissionary-position]

Gilbert is so hands-on/DIY that the moment Emma starts breastfeeding, there's a 100% chance he'll offer to be her teet-holder/operator and a 200% chance he'll invent baby formula on the spot (if he hasn't already) as well as a state-of-the-art :

[motleyfolk]

Web Bookmark List

Cataloguing important, fun or interest websites I’ve come across over the years. Trying to add most of these to internet archive. * = use F11 for best experience.

Last updated: 13/12/23

Internet Safety, Privacy, Rebellion

Frontpage - Tldr of different sites or services terms of service. Has browser addon.

Disroot - Project promoting the ability to communicate on the internet in a decentralized, private and open way. They have a browser, video and voice call apps, temporary upload storage, and more.

De-google-ify Internet - Like the above but cute graphics, french and no vpn.

12ft Ladder - F u paywalls

Info On How To Definitely Avoid Torrenting

Little Sis -  A free database detailing the connections between powerful people and organizations. Who do the wealthiest Americans donate their money to? Where did White House officials work before they were appointed?

Article of Journalist Trying To Completely Cut Amazon From Her Life But Its Literally Not Possible

Internet Archive - Legendary Archive of the Internet

Yesterweb - Community about how the internet has changed, advocating for positive interactions and self expression on the internet.

Stop Using Chrome Help

Wii Gay, U Crimes & Three Gay, New Crimes - If you have a wii, wii u or 3ds click this

Digital Wellbeing - Stuff on adblocks, alt browsers, just not getting tracked

Toffeeshare - Share files free, encrypted, no size limit.

SingleFile - Browser addon, downloads pages/sites at .html

Masterpost on How To Be a Pirate and Where Its Safe To Sail

Good Academic Research Sites

How To Get Music Without Subscriptions, Anyway You Want

Dark Pattern Games - Game review site that tells you about tactics games use, giving lists of bad games that use said tactics, and good ones that don’t.

DIY Feminist Cybersecurity - Simple guide to travesing the internet and tech safely, protecting yourself and your privacy.

Data Hoarding in the Modern Age - Intro guide on data hoarding.

Resources

How To Change Cursor

Itchi.io - Steam for indie games, ttrpgs, books and assets. So much cool (and free) stuff.

blinkie maker - Make your own blinkie

WebZine01 - Zine on making a personal website from scratch for absolute beginners and Another

Old Games Download - What it says on the tin.

Old Web Themes - Like above

Noclip - View and clip through tons of old game maps (like Mario Kart Wii!)

Free Movies, Books, Shows & Audiobooks

Photomosh - Free picture editior

The Spriters Resource - PNG sprites from tons of gaming sources.

Backgrounds with Emma - Tons of repeating backgrounds

EzGIF - My go to gif editor, webp to anything and quick pic cropper/editor.

Internet Archive - My beloved <3 Arching webpages, books, movies, software and making it available to the public. One of the most important websites of the internet.

Catbox - Free image/video sharing resource. Simple and 200mb limit.

Fraidycat - RSS Feed. If you don’t know what that is, it’s where you can congrate things like a specific tumblr users posts, blog posts, a youtuber, a wikipedia page, etc are updated in your own personal curated newsfeed with no ads of clutter. All your internet in one place :)

Smithsonian Open Access - Millions of free images.

Can I Play That? - Guides/reviews for those that need accessibility in games.

Graphics

The Blinkie Hoard - Tons of blinkies 

pixelbank - Graphics

murderscene - Dark pixels

SORAHANA - Japenese artist has tons of cute pixel art for stuff

@pixel-soup - Tons of cute graphics

cinni’s dream home - More cute graphics

Trash Paradise - Cool, mythical graphics

Spirit Cellar’s Horror Zone - Has some horror blinkies and stamps to the side.

Backgrounds with Emma - Tons of repeating backgrounds

Masterlist banners

Pattern Banners

Important

List of Atrocities Commit by the United States Government/Country

Article on Companies That Publicaly Supported Abortion Rights but Funded Anti-Abortion Politicians by The Guardian.

The Anarchist Library - Archive of over 800 pages of Anarchist Literature

Survive Nature - Info on wilderness and urban survival skills

Article on US Courts Sending People to “Rehab Centres” ThatS Actually Chicken Factory Slavery for Fortune 500 Companies

Wiki Page on Unethical Human Experimentation in the United States

Canadian Aboriginal Children Starved in Government Experiments during 1940s

National Security Archive - Archive of declassified US Gov documents and investigative journalism into rising government secrecy. 

Anti Capitalism Facts/Info

[fullscoreshenanigans]

You know, at the beginning of the story, Connie says that she has probably a total bad score to the exams "like always". If she had very bad (or the worse) results since a while, then his shippement days was decided for a while, since she has been shipped two weeks after her birthday. And Isabella knews who will be the next shippement three or four months before it happens. She knew that Connie was the next. She knew, when Connie reached 6, that she had only 2 weeks to live. And then, she took the time to make a plushie for Connie's birthday. And Little Bunny isn't a little plushie, it is kinda big. Isabella created a big toy for a kid who was going to enjoy it for only 15 days.

She wanted to make her happy, to give her joy for the little time that she still had. She wanted Connie to live those days in happiness. And i'm sure that she did that for any kids who was going to be shipped. (a lot of kids receive a gift for their 6 years old, the goods as the bads but maybe it's for cover why the bad scores kids has spoiled this famous day)

It's the biggest proof that she loves all her kids (even Ray, even if she has more mixed feelings toward him). She can't do anything to save them or she would be the next dinner and with no garantee that the woman who will replace her will be as loving then her. She is as much captive than the kids (even more, because she knows and she has the cheap in her heart.)

She had to see them die every time. Clearly she is still here after Connie's death so she has witnessed everything. She has seen so much of her kids diying while being unable to protect them because nothing could have been do, except make their too short lifes as much happy than possible.

(I'm sure that she was suffering with the idea to shipp the Full Score Trio soon (very soon for Ray, some months for Norman and in a little more of half a year for Emma), even Ray, and she was probably in denial about her son)

I think that Norman and Emma were too betrayed and angry to really understand that her affection was geniune and real. It's only thank to the distance, during 2 years, that they were able to think about it. For Ray, i think that a part of him knew that she really loved them but still sees her as the ones who sacrified his siblings. A part of him must have been in denial for a while about it too (like mother, like son).

The distance was good for everyone. The kids were able to understand that Isabella loved them for real, Ray was able to be willing to forgive her and eventually start over (realizing that he loved her too), Isabella realized that she loved her son.

And then came that asshole demon

Obnoxious pedantry but Conny's birthday is the third of September (@just-like-playing-tag put together an invaluable birthday chart here. September is one of the busier months with five birthdays in it.) So she had a bit more time with Little Bunny, but it's negligible in the grand scheme of things. There were two years' worth of low scores sealing her fate.

Based on that, this answer in the mystic code book, and all the toys we see in her hidden office in chapter 17/S1 episode 6, it's a safe bet she either made or had gifts delivered from headquarters for each of the children. The demons wouldn't question it as an easily justifiable and paltry expense to further cultivate a positive environment for the children's development, and with them not caring what became of the presents afterward even if a child packed it with them in their suitcase when they were shipped out, Isabella could keep them as mementos of all the children she raised.

It's the biggest proof that she loves all her kids

This I think depends on an individual's definition of love though, and whether Isabella could truly, fully love her children in such an oppressive framework.

(S1 Episode 8 | S1 Episode 10)

I will always come back to and obsess over the sequences of Isabella silently smiling as Ray struggles against her before locking him in Krone's old room and Ray looking completely disillusioned and despondent as Isabella walks off and smirks that they added into the anime. No one else is around who would be cognizant enough to notice. She doesn't have to put up an act to maintain a sense of calm and normalcy for anyone.

Yet here she is, quietly relishing in having seemingly defeated the children's plan to upset the status quo and her lifestyle. It's entirely for herself.

During this era of the story, she loves the children in her charge, but only to the point that they don’t inconvenience her; only to the point where they don’t impede her goal of survival ("longer than anyone"). It's impossible to live under such an oppressive, violent, monotonous, stagnating system and not have it fundamentally alter your perception of the world around you and how you interact with it to some degree. She even makes the distinction herself in one of her most memorable quotes.

(Chapter 37)

To love them normally, as opposed to the love that would always be tainted as long as it was within the confines of the farm system where she justified walking at least sixty children to their deaths over the course of her tenure to maintain her sense of cognitive dissonance.

To quote @nullaby, who phrases it very poignantly in this post:

 for  as  much  as  isabella   did   love  her  kids,      as  nice  as  it  would’ve  been  to  just  raise  them  all  like  a  normal  mother  should,       the  backbone  of  her  character  journey     &.    ultimate  redemption  was  laid  out  plain  and  clear  right  to  ray’s  face  that  everything,     including  his  birth,      was  all  just  collateral  damage  of  isabella’s  desire  to  survive  in  this  world  as  according  to  the  demon’s  rules,        longer  than  most  ever  could,        and  find  some  sort  of   meaning   to  all  this  sacrifice  in  the  only  option  that’d  ever  been  available  to  cattle  like  them.      the  tragedy  is  that  the  prioritizing  of  her  own  position  trumps  that  love  of  a  mother  more  times  that  it  ever  didn’t,        and   that’s   the  mom  that  ray  was  left  with.  

(Chapter 7 | Chapter 16)

Even if she found herself slipping into the illusion that had been crafted throughout the rest of the day, on days where there were no shipments and everything was fine, maybe even great, every night she would be reminded of reality. That she was ultimately a pawn. A caged, useful dog, if you want to have what she says to Ray in chapter 24/S1 episode 8 be her projecting her self-loathing of what she's stooped to onto him (and then going further, making his affirmation of his humanity in choosing his death an incensed retort back at her as much as the demons).

Ray is the living, breathing reminder of one of the worst acts of violence the farm system inflected on her. For a six years, she may have been able to push aside any memories and thoughts of the child she bore, but on his sixth birthday (his false birthday; if she doesn't think of it in the moment, then surely afterward when they're celebrating it at the house), he "robbed Isabella of that easy, blissful delusion," to again quote nullaby. Such potent, aggrieved anger mixed with relishing her dominance over him bleeding into her tone and body language and tinging the framework of this scene; I really love how Cloverworks adapted it with their budgetary constraints.

I think that Norman and Emma were too betrayed and angry to really understand that her affection was genuine and real. It's only thank to the distance, during 2 years, that they were able to think about it. For Ray, i think that a part of him knew that she really loved them but still sees her as the ones who sacrificed his siblings. A part of him must have been in denial for a while about it too (like mother, like son). The distance was good for everyone. The kids were able to understand that Isabella loved them for real, Ray was able to be willing to forgive her and eventually start over (realizing that he loved her too), Isabella realized that she loved her son.

I do agree that being free of the suffocating environment of Grace Field would give everyone different perspectives on their relationship with their mother, with Emma being the most understanding of Isabella's circumstances and accepting her in her totality; the kindness and love she was always capable of just as much as the violence and cruelties she inflicted to maintain the status quo.

For Norman, the utter chaos his nervous system was in as he was walking to the gate, fully believing he was about to die only to be handed off to another cage and subjected to experiments as his mother sent him off with one last gentle hug, would heighten his senses and emotions and in turn make this a visceral core memory for him.

(S2 Episode 8)

He undoubtedly dwelled on it during his fifteen months at Lambda, grappling with coming to logically understanding her circumstances more over time with that distance, his stark morality, and, no matter how much he might try to squash down his feelings to avoid confronting his own vulnerability during such a precarious period, how deeply her betrayal hurt him. I don't know if he'd ever be able to fully let that go, even if his immediate reaction to her death was one of sadness due to how sudden it was and being robbed of the chance to see what kind of relationship with her would be possible.

Similar to Norman, Ray can logically understand her circumstances, and I do believe deep down there was a part of him that desperately desired a normal, loving relationship with her, as much as he also tried to squash it down. It's part of why he's so confident she wouldn't throw him away, why he looks so devastated when she cuts him off,

(S1 Episode 5 | S1 Episode 8)

I was doing a good job. To you, I’m…

(Even after all this time…you still can't find it in your heart to love me as the child you gave birth to. | Chapter 181.1)

and why even after all of that pain and loss, he still hums the lullaby she sang to him in the womb as a way of consoling himself before his attempted suicide (because it's the only way he believes he can atone for what he's done).

Ray's vast library of knowledge comes from his research. His memory is one of his most powerful assets; his blessing and his burden. Isabella had proven time and time again to him that she was willing to sacrifice children for her own survival.

And yet there was still some selfish part of him that hoped maybe, just maybe, she would have carved out a little niche in her heart for him after spending all that time together, after sharing the burden of the secret of the house with him, after finding out about their shared blood. That all of that had to mean something to her.

But tragically all they shared engendered a unique ire toward him instead, born from a deep self-loathing that, once she replaced her own mother as Grandma, she allowed herself to reflect upon more thoroughly and came to deeply regret.

(TPN Light Novel 2: Moms’ Song of Remembrance - “The Starry Sky and Leslie’s List” Chapter 9; Isabella being an unreliable narrator and forcing a mental wedge between her and Ray as both a child in her charge in general and specifically as her biological son. She "held no particular maternal feelings for Ray" being as much a denial of any love for him as being a moment where she tries to place herself above the petty anger and resentment she has for him | Chapter 181.3; the framing of the bottom right panel confirming she did view all the birthday gifts she gave her children as treasures)

The damage was done though, between that and losing Norman, one of the two most precious people in his life he spent six years bearing the pain of loneliness and sorrow for. Even with Norman proving to be alive, like him I think it would be hard for Ray to untangle logically, pragmatically understanding Isabella's circumstances from the abuse he endured.

(Chapter 169; the conflicting feelings he held for her even two years after escaping Grace Field)

People aren't their trauma, but it would be disingenuous to say it didn't shape him. A learned response and association with her etched into his mind that I don't believe would be shed so easily. He wasn't by Isabella's side as she made her two-year journey of redemption as Grandma. He only saw the final result weighed against years of memories of her calculating iron woman persona, of every happy one his siblings had tinged with the knowledge that she would eventually set them up for slaughter.

(Chapter 174)

To quote nullaby for a third time:

there’s  a  whole  big  thing  about  late  story  isabella,     how  she  interprets  ray’s  address  as  forgiveness,      but    .    .    .         it’s  maybe  just  more  speaking  to  how  their  worst  qualities  are  the  ones  that  they  share.     not  as  much  a      “  you’re  my  mom  and  i  forgive  you   ”         as  it  is  a         “   i  get  it,     i’m   there  too,     it  doesn’t  matter  anymore  anyway,    stop  feeling  sorry  for  yourself    ”        and  it  just.     tapers  off  into  something  impersonal,      something  more  like just  a  person  speaking  to  a  person  than  a  son  to  his  mother.

He can acknowledge the love she held for her children, acknowledge that she changed and wanted to do better by them, but that doesn't equate to reconciliation and letting go of all those painful memories at the drop of a hat.

(Chapter 177 | Sunny's post)

The mental scars she left on him would be with him for years—potentially forever—and had she lived I don’t think he’d ever have a relationship with her in the way Emma might, but in that moment, he desperately wished for just the opportunity to try, even if it ended in failure or an impasse. And yet again fate left him without any say or control in the situation to determine his own path of healing.