#Ellie is kind of in a coma

[bet-on-me-13]

Ellie is a Clone Misunderstanding

So, I' sure most of us have seen a story/prompt or two about Ellie being on the Teen Titans or Young Justice right? Here's my question, does she tell them about her being a Clone, or does she just omit that from her resume?

Imagine a scenario where Ellie is on a mission with her team (Let's say YJ for this). They are nearly done, when she gets hit by some type of Ecto-Weapon in the middle of the fight?

She is hurt, but shrugs it off and continues the battle. In the end, the team manages to come out on Top, and they return to Base.

The others are fretting over Ellie, asking how she is doing and if she needs ant help. She's never once been hit while in Battle, her Phasing Powers are stronger than even Miss Martian, so they are understandably concerned for her health.

She tells them that she's fine, and goes off to her room to rest, telling them to drop it.

Later that night, one of her teammates goes to her room to fetch her for Dinner. They knock on the door, but she doesn't respond. After a while, they decide to just open the door and find Ellie collapsed on the floor. She never made it to her bed.

They rush her to the Medical Station, and call in the League.

While there, they try to figure out what happened, but nothing comes up with the Weapon that hit her. (They took it after the battle for study)

Eventually, they get the results back from the Doctors. Her cells are dying at an alarming rate. Her energy levels are Unstable. Her DNA is deteriorating. She's Destabilizing.

She's a Clone.

All the evidence is there. Her DNA is deteriorating because she wasn't made complete, and her Cells can't keep up with the damage anymore because of that.

If this Ellie is a Clone, what happened to the Real Ellie? When was she kidnapped? How did they not notice their friend being replaced by a Clone?!

They need answers, and unfortunately Ellie isn't waking up any time soon.

[aceofwhump]

Have you made a list or notes on whumpy Hallmark and if so where?🥺

You know what, I haven't yet! Let me do that for ya now. And if anyone wants to add their favs please do so!

A Gift To Remember: Darcy (Ali Liebert) hits Aiden (Peter Porte) while riding her bike and he gets knocked out and loses his memory. It’s pretty good.

Love on the Sidelines : Laurel (Emily Kinney) is a struggling fashion designer who finds herself with a job as a personal assistant for Danny (John Reardon), a quarterback sidelined with an broken ankle. Danny is on crutches for most of the movie and is recovery from his injury.

Spirit of Christmas: A young lawyer (Jen Lilley) finds romance with a spirit (Thomas Beaudoin) that takes the form of a human 12 days before Christmas. He was murdered and there are flashbacks to him being attacked and killed.

Christmas Homecoming: Stars Michael Shanks (Daniel Jackson from SG1!!) as an Army Captain recovering from an injury in battle. He's got a broken leg and suffers from survivors guilt and ptsd.

Hailey Dean Mysteries: Deadly Estate for some good poisoning whump of a medical examiner. You want unconscious? medically induced coma? respirator? bedside vigils? worry? waking up with a twitching hand? walking down the hospital floor holding onto their iv pole? Then this is the movie for you!

Love Blossoms: one small part when the main guy, Declan, gets sick with a cold during the movie. It’s kind of cute but the rest of the movie's got nothing.

Second Chances: "A badly injured leg forces fireman Jeff, who lost his father in a fire as a young boy, to rent a ground floor room during his recovery. Thus he moves in with Jenny, a 911 emergency call center operator, and her two young children, Luke and Elsie, who soon dote on him as an ideal substitute father and try matching him with their mother."

My Gal Sunday: Henry (Cameron Mattheson) gets shot in the beginning of the movie.

Signed Sealed Delivered Lost Without You: Oliver goes on a hike with his father. His dad trips and gets a seemingly innocuous injury on his leg but the two of them get lost in the woods and the injury turns out to be life threatening.

A Godwink Christmas Miracle of Love: Eric (Alberto Frezza) is run over by a plow near the end of the film. There's lots of surgery, worry, hospital stuff.

Retreat to Paradise: "Jordan is recovering from a shoulder injury and his grumpiness tempts Ellie, his carer, to leave him to his misery. But will romance finally blossom?"

The Christmas Waltz: Roman (Will Kemp) hits his head due to slipping on an icy sidewalk and has to go to hospital

Taking a Shot at Love: "Sparks fly between a ballet instructor and a professional hockey player as she tries to help him recover from the same injury that sidelined her dancing career." It's not got a lot of whump but it is about a hockey player in rehab.

Martha's Vineyard Mysteries series: The whole series. Jesse Metcalfe's character Jeff was shot on a previous case and the bullet is still in lodged in his back and it causes him pain a lot AND he continually has nightmares about the incident. It's great.

Mystery 101: Killer Timing: Travis (Kristopher Polaha) gets blown up and even though the aftermath doesn't last long its still wonderful. He gets knocked out, there's an ambulance and hospital scene (kinda), worried family members.

Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Sweater: Maggie O'Donnell (Ashley Williams) accidentally breaks Lucas Cavelli (Niall Matter)'s arm while carrying a Christmas Tree and offers him a room to stay in when he can't find a hotel room cause she feels guilty.

A Timeless Christmas: Charles Whitley (Ryan Paevey) passes out in 1903 and wakes up in 2020.

Aurora Teagarden A Bundle of Trouble: Martin Bartell (Yannick Bisson) gets shot in the shoulder

Christmas on the Range: Clint McCree (Nicholas Gonzalez) is attacked and beaten up pretty badly.

Mix Up in the Mediterranean: Josh (Jeremy Jordan)'s twin brother Julian gets hurt and can’t do a cooking competition so Josh takes over.

The Christmas Cure: Mitch (Steve Byers) falls off ladder and gets a concussion

Love's Christmas Journey: Sheriff Aaron Davis (Greg Vaughan) gets shot in the leg while chasing a robber. His injury is bad and gets infected. He gets a fever and is rescued by an old man who cares for him. The wound needs cauterizing and he suffers fever, chills, and more.

Hearts in the Game: Diego Vasquez (Marco Grazinni) is a hot shot baseball pitcher who has a panic attack during a game which costs the team the game. Turns out it was triggered by the anniversary of his moms death and he has another panic attack later in the movie as well.

Fourth Down in Love is about an athlete who is sidelined by an injury. Broken ribs I think? 

Rip in Time: Another fun time travel movie. Rip (Niall Mater) gets knocked out at least once. 

Three Wise Men and a Baby: Paul Campbell's character has social anxiety and has a sort of panic attack in the park at the beginning of the movie.

Jolly Good Christmas: Will Kemp's character falls into a frozen river and he comes out shaking and shivering and she gets him a blanket and tea and he needs a hot shower. 

That's all I've got for right now. The bolded ones have the best whump in my opinion so definitely check those out first :) Love's Christmas Journey and the Martha's Vineyard Mysteries are A+ whump hallmark movies. Do those first ;)

[tlonista]

Multifandom Hurt/Comfort

Everything hurts; just hope you've got somebody to hold you together when it does. My multifandom writing highlights.

Careful, I Bite (Baldur's Gate 3)

Seducere (14,000 words) - Astarion's complicated, mostly terrible 200-year relationship with seduction, and his less terrible relationship with Tav.

A Crimson Night (18,000 words) - What if Astarion's quest involved an uncomfortable proposition at a masquerade? A Ren'py visual novel with BG3 mechanics and extensive player choice.

The Jayvik Cycle (Arcane)

City of Sunlight (10,000 words) - Vignettes about classism, alienation, and Viktor adjusting to life in Piltover.

Bad Machinery (27,000 words) - An AU where Viktor never left the undercity, but he found Jayce anyway.

Burning Paper Curses (26,000 words) - Viktor's exile after the Council bombing, and the birth of a fake-enemies relationship with Jayce.

Blood and Blue Diamonds (73,000 words) - A detective!Jayce love letter to '30s Los Angeles noir.

City Slang (14,000 words) - Viktor has a terrible night in the undercity, but it's the push he needs to confess some feelings to himself.

To Gold and Redwoods (4,000 words) - A marshal!Jayce and outlaw!Viktor classic western AU.

Love and Demolition (Danger Days)

Better Living Through Anarchy (35,000 words) - Fun Ghoul is a captured zonerunner. Gerard Way is a Battery City TV showrunner. A Killjoys origin story.

Graffiti Tarot (50,000 words) - The Fab Four live... but Ghoul's in prison, Poison's in a coma, Kobra's a brainwashed killer, and Jet's raising a magical girl. A post-SING AU.

The Ship Is Isaac/Misery (Dead Space)

Apostles to the Dead (5,000 words) - EarthGov kept videos of what it did to Isaac on Titan. Ellie finds them. Set during Dead Space 3.

Vacuum Lullaby (11,000 words) - Liz Cross lives in the DS remake. After Aegis VII, she and Isaac try to patch each other up.

Miscellaneous

Ant Farming For Beginners (6,000 words, Doom Patrol) - Larry Trainor's time in the Ant Farm, leaning hard on the fourth wall.

Simulacron-12 Is Smooth Again (4,000 words, Blade Runner 2049) - K is under Niander Wallace's control. Reality is breaking down. On a couple layers of existence, Joi does what she can to help.

A Kindness of Dreams (4,000 words, Darkest Dungeon) - Before the hamlet, Baldwin comforts Sarmenti in the tyrant's court.

[eroseas]

gimme a lil angsty drabble of reader and ellie being exes who still love each other and miss each other but know that they’re not good for each other right now (hint hint maybe things will be different in the future)

firstly, im very sorry for the late reply! ive been a bit busy. hopefully you enjoy this tho cause it definitely made me feel shit. in a good way tho. also, i saw a tiktok of that doctor strange scene where christine and strange were talkin and christine says "there are other things that can give your life meaning" and strange goes "like what? like you?"

....yea so anyway. heres this for you, my dove.

cw; idk angst? ellie is kind of a meanie but its fine.

word count; 1.6k

an; i say that ellie sings a song that obviously she did not write. don't take it personal. if u see errors no u dont

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“There are other things that can give your life meaning,” you had pleaded, exasperated, exhausted. 

Ellie was unimpressed; had scoffed all mean and bitter and utterly defeated. You remember it like it was yesterday. The way her lips had pulled back into a sneer, like she couldn’t stand the thought of anything else, anyone else, being important to her. Like the thought of holding you on a pedestal made her sick. 

The fact of the matter had been that Joel had slipped into a coma six months prior to your fight, and he wasn’t going to wake up anytime soon. The doctors were doing anything and everything, Ellie had been traveling all over the world to find answers, and you– You had gone with her. You did everything you possibly could. You loaned money to her, didn’t bat an eye when she sold things you had gotten her for the extra cash, you didn’t flinch when she became distant. You stayed. You were loyal. You knew deep down she loved you, and that this was just something she had to do for Joel’s sake. You could understand that, you’d even excused any questionable thing she said or did. And yet. 

She hadn’t missed a beat. Arguing wasn’t new at this point. You’d get into it every other day. There was only so much you could take; the constant bickering, the snide remarks under her breath. You could take it, for the most part. 

And yet.

“Like what?” She snapped, her face permanently etched into a scowl, “Like you?” 

It had rendered you speechless. A devastation that rocked you internally. It was the worst thing she had ever said. Four little words, and that’s all it took. 

You had shut down. You both knew that this was it. That the relationship wouldn’t survive after that outburst, that it just wouldn’t be the same. You didn’t leave, though. You kept staying over to cook her dinner, and you’d clean the house while she traveled. For two months, neither of you said a word to each other that wasn’t hello, goodbye, thanks, or you’re welcome. 

And just as those two months were up, Joel finally woke up. 

Even so, you had left. Once you got the news, you had given her a hug and kiss. You visited Joel at the hospital, gave him a nice bouquet in a boot-shaped vase, and smiled as Ellie played the guitar for him. 

You were gone the following morning. Not much else to it. 

You couldn’t leave your apartment for three months. You couldn’t stomach throwing away the pictures of you two, couldn’t even get rid of the guitar picks she left at your apartment. The ghost of Ellie lived there still, and it was all you had left. Therapy, and time, and lots of patience helped. You started going out again, started hanging around Dina and Jesse, and four months after the break-up, you packed up all of Ellie’s stuff and shoved it under your bed. She was important to you still, and you’d never deny that. But out of sight, out of mind, right?

Two years had gone by, and here you were. Junior year of university had just begun, and you, Jesse, Dina, and Ellie all had a class together.

You huff out a breath, and adjust the strap to your bag. You haven’t seen Ellie in months. You ran into her by chance at the cafe down the street from your apartment, where you both always went to for breakfast. She had smiled at you, and nodded her head, and after that, poof. Gone again. 

You shift on your feet, waiting for an appropriate time to walk into the class. You’d gotten there early, hoping to grab a good seat. Once you deemed the time appropriate, you snuck into the class and looked for a table. You faltered in your step, recognizing the silhouette of the person sitting alone at a table towards the back of the room. Ellie. You nibble at your lip, a sick little habit that you could never give up, and weigh your options. Sit by yourself because Jesse and Dina will want to sit with Ellie, or suck it up and sit with her alone for a few minutes. You sigh quietly.

“Fuck.” You mutter, ducking your head. Your feet start to move before you have the chance to change your mind, and you eye the earbuds sticking out of Ellie’s pierced ears once you get to where she is. You reach over hesitantly to tap her shoulder, suddenly hit with the thought that you used to just jump on her shoulders anytime you wanted. How things change.

She looks up at you before you can think about it too hard. Her eyes widen in surprise and she flounders for a bit, her lips parting open but no words escaping. 

“Mind if I sit?” You ask, putting her out of the misery of finding something to say. She blinks, and nods quickly, grabbing her bag out of the seat next to her. 

“Yeah, fuck, sorry–” She mumbles, clearing out her little mess on the table. You eye her notebook, catching the sight of what looks like a song. You slip yourself into the seat, and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. She quickly shoves her tattooed arm in front of her notebook, hiding it from your gaze. You look away, and start grabbing your notebook from your bag. 

The air is thick, even though the room is so fucking big. You can vaguely hear the music coming from her earbuds, and you try not to look at her. 

She looks the same, though. A little more grown, a little less tired. Like the dread has finally let her go. The calmness suits her. You remember her being tense and guarded from when you two were together; how nothing could calm her down. This Ellie, though, she looks like she fuckin’ sunbathes and does yoga. The thought makes you snort, and you duck your head quickly, embarrassed. Ellie looks over at you, a small grin on her lips, and when you meet her gaze, you realize it looks a little sad. You ignore it.

“It’s–” She coughs softly to clear her throat, wincing at her awkwardness, “It’s good to see you.” 

You mess with the pen in your hand, looking over her features. The freckles you used to kiss every night, and the lips that used to kiss the beauty mark on your neck, and the stupid little slit in her eyebrow that you know the story to but you swore you would never tell. You smile, trying to be polite, but it falls quickly. 

“Yeah, you too,” you nod, opening your notebook to try to look busy. The class starts filling with bodies, thankfully, and if Dina gives you a worried glance when she sits in front of you, you pretend not to notice. 

Growth is hard. It takes time, and effort, and it’s a push and pull every single day. Being around Ellie more has allowed you to experience this growth full force. You moved on after two years, sure, but now it's being put to the test. It’s hard to be around her, to treat her like she’s only a little bit more than a stranger when she used to be everything. It gets easier as time goes by, but then Dina just had to barge into your apartment, yelling like a crazy woman. 

You jump out of bed, rushing to the living room where she holds her phone out like a bomb. You breathe heavily, looking over her face and figure to make sure she’s not hurt. She looks back at you with wide eyes and a shit-eating grin, in perfect condition. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You exclaim, and she steps closer, shoving her phone towards you. You squint at it questionably, gesturing to it. 

“The fuck is that?” You ask, your voice still on the verge of a yell, and she squeals suddenly. 

“This is a fucking Spotify account. More importantly, it’s Ellie’s fucking Spoitfy account where she posts songs that are about you!”

The statement makes you freeze. At first, the words don’t register in your brain. When they do, you scoff. Dina raises an eyebrow at you, silently asking you to try her life so she can prove it to you. You cross your arms over your chest, and glare at the phone. 

“Songs?” You ask, to which Dina nods. “Like, plural?” 

She groans in annoyance, connecting her phone to the bluetooth speaker. She scrolls, then clicks on a song. You peer over at her phone and notice it’s titled my kind of woman. It makes you lose your breath, hearing her voice and knowing the face she pulls when she sings a certain word. You bite the tip of your nail, and try to take deep, calming breaths. 

You and Dina sit there for what seems like hours, listening to every song in her discography. There’s not much, but the songs about you tell you everything you need to know at the moment. It brings back a feeling that you had when you two first started seeing each other. That giddy little fluttering in your tummy, the hope that you snuffed out years ago. 

Your phone buzzes in your pocket, and when you pull it out, you eye the message on the screen. 

ellie 

3:46pm 

hey. would you mind meeting me for some coffee? i was hoping we could talk.

When Dina catches a glimpse of the dreamy look on your face, she asks what's up. You’re too content to not tell her, and yet–

“I’ll tell you after.” You smile.

[miku-meeku]

☽✧═════╡✦༺.·:·.☽✧ 𝒲𝐸𝐿𝒞𝒪𝑀𝐸 ✧☾.·:·.༻✦╞═════✧☾

☽✧════════╡✦༺.·:·.☽✧ ʚϊɞ ✧☾.·:·.༻✦╞═══════✧☾

WARNING: Minors DNI. This is an NSFW blog because Miku is too [REDACTED] for a certain blonde mf.

"Once upon a time, there lived a lonely girl in a lonely dreamworld named Elly." "For as long as she can remember, it has always been this way. There was nobody else but her in her own little world as she pour out her dreams to the lonely world." "Though the story might not have a happy ending...Won't you stay a little while longer and listen to her tale?" - Tokki

☽✧════════╡✦༺.·:·.☽✧ ʚϊɞ ✧☾.·:·.༻✦╞═══════✧☾

interested in commissioning poor lil ol me? [heres a temp shitty comms sheet dies]

✧☾ 𝒯𝒶𝑔𝓈 ☽✧

⭐ #asks - Miku answers whatever it is you send

⭐ #meeks museum - WHAT IS MIKU COOKING UP TODAY?!?!

⭐ #meeku art talk - how dOES the wise Miku cook....??

⭐ #hatsune meeku - Hatsune Miku wannabee tries singing

⭐ #very sane meeku behaviour - can this girl stop yapping for one second

✧☾ 𝐹𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓃 𝓈𝓉𝓊𝒻𝒻𝓈 𝒾𝒹𝓀 ☽✧

⭐ #dol pc - DoL OCs (because making ocs are fun)

⭐ #w0w dol lore - Story lore of Whitney and Amy(PC)

⭐ #chainsaw man - I can't believe Miku abandoned Denji for Whitney- sHUT-

⭐ #dream fiend miku - Miku's Chainsaw Man Devil OC

⭐ ????? - Story lore of Dream Devil wanting to become human (and also fall in love w denji in the process because i love denji)

✧☾ 𝒪𝒞 𝒮𝑒𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈 ☽✧

⭐ #original character - Would you like to peek into her worlds?

⭐ #COMA - "I heard a group of kids got into an accident for sleeping and dreaming too much. Poor pathetic children... What kind of dreams could they be having now?"

⭐ #Once Upon a Time... - "Did you know each one of us have our own existing dreamworlds? Each person's dreamworlds comes with a story, like a fairytale! But only those who are special enough gets to have such a dream. I wonder if such a thing is a blessing or a curse..."

and many more... eventually soon...

[did you know miku can hop into different dreamworlds haha?] ❧ mikumeeku.carrd.co

[parkitaco]

can I ask for details abt this amnesia fic that once has so much promise? 👀

also fun fact I too have an amnesia fic that once held so much promise but is now functionally abandoned until further notice. hive mind moment

hello elli YES omg idk what it is apparently amnesia fics are just that fucking difficult. or smth. idk but!! yes i will share everything that is still in my brain involving this fic (under the cut tho i'm abt to infodump so hard)

this idea was originally planted by an anon who left a very cute little amnesia prompt in my inbox (anon if you're out there i'm so sorry i swearrr). i've since deviated from the og prompt which was fairly lighthearted (amnesia will sees mike hovering over him obsessively and assumes he's his bf. and mike short circuits. which was an excellent idea my brain just wouldn't accept it) and went for angst bc well. i'm like that. and basically my idea was just that will wakes up in mike's room very recently post-apocalypse (the wheeler's house has been a base in the apocalypse and mike offered his room bc of course he did), having been in a coma for a few months. the idea behind it was that vecna / the hive mind tried to possess him again, but this time will was strong enough to fight back, and though he couldn't fight *through* the possession he was at least able to kind of incapacitate himself so that he couldn't be used to hurt his friends (yay angst!!). while he was asleep the others managed to stop vecna / kill the UD, hence freeing will from possession. yay he's awake!! unfortunately, since he was in the coma for so long, the virus ate away parts of his consciousness, namely his memories.

basically i took s2 and birthdaygate and made it bigger and more dramatic and worse. yay parker!!

the way i was planning on having will's memories come back is very slowly and methodically (i.e. it takes him a while to remember stuff but once he does it pretty much sticks), mainly through him being reminded of them through sensory recognition or people sharing stuff - he also has vague feelings attached to people, and can definitely recognize when a face belongs to someone important to him (cough cough mike wheeler) but he doesn't remember names or details and this drives him INSANE.

the bylerification of this would be mike, post-apocalypse and broken up with el and having had some Very Important Realizations, frantically fumbling trying to give will love confessions and apologies when will literally doesn't remember any of their fights. so not only does mike have to apologize for everything, he also has to make will relive it first, and Then hope that will doesn't reject him. (hehe.) this sucks for him, but yada yada it all works out and they make out sloppy. the end

i abandoned this fic for a lot of reasons, many of which i no longer remember, but the main ones were a., that is a lot of backstory for a story that ultimately doesn't have much plot beyond Mike Is Stressed And Will Is Confused, and b., at the time i was kind of burnt out on writing/reading apocalypse stuff, and c., i wasn't a big fan of the concept of everyone saving the world with will still incapacitated bc i know my boy is more of a key character than that!!! (this is small and ik people could get over it for This One Fic but it Really Bothered me Ok)

that being said,,, writing all this out did remind me of how much i liked the concept and i think taking the pressure off of myself for a couple months did help, as did taking a break from apocalypsey concepts for a while. so. Maybe. and that is all i will say about that <33

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #42

My brain has felt like mashed potatoes all day today. I think it's because I'm a bit short on sleep, and also because I probably didn't drink enough water. Oh well. I'll try a little harder not to slip up with the self-care tomorrow.

Following talk therapy today (in which we made it a point to play cards - to give me a lesson in deliberately taking the time to be non-productive, which is a thing I very much struggle with), I tried my very best to actually chill today. I think I managed; I played Terraria with my lovely friend from Germany, and it was very good.

But you know? On days like this, I feel very similar to the Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant.

…Wow. I'm sorry. That probably just sounded like word salad to you. Okay, uh… let me see if I can try to explain…

The Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant (I'll call him Elly for short) was created as an extremely powerful creature of destruction to be commanded without regard for his own wishes, needs, or sentience.

…I suppose that makes him a lot like you, at least in that regard.

A righteous adventurer named Finn and his friend Jake were having a rough time, and so Finn got it in his head to wish for Elly's help. And Elly did help, but Finn didn't want a slave. I don't think Elly understood this very well because he was so used to being an extension of someone else's will instead of having his own. So Elly ends up sitting idle in Finn's treasure room, purposeless because Finn has no interest in commanding him to destroy things. Here:

Pay no attention to the coin or the fact that Finn and Jake are about to spend it. Instead pay attention to the notion that, despite the fact that being out of the money room is no fault of Elly's, he still said, "I'm sorry, master; you told me to stay inside the money room, but now I am outside. What is your punishment, master?"

…This is something I understand on a very deep level. And I have a funny feeling that you do too, don't you? I'm sorry if you know what it is. But at the same time, if you do know what it is, then I'm not sorry that I also know what it is, because then that means you're not alone, and neither am I.

In any case, the next thing that struck me was Elly's very literal, reluctantly-going-through-the-motions type of acquiescence to Finn's non-desire of a slave - as expressed with his very confused, "I continue to chill," near the end of the video.

And… I feel that in my bones, because I know Elly's not really "chilling". Elly feels confused and as though he has lost his purpose. He does not understand a world in which he is not treated like an object.

Later, Finn asks for Elly's help against a powerful opponent (Darren). Elly topples this foe easily with Finn's help, and knocks the person commanding this opponent (Maja) into a coma:

From there, Elly goes into a bit of an existential crisis:

And you know? Given my upbringing and the way that I was treated for such a long time, this kind of existential confusion is also something I understand well. When I first began to live with my husband, it was extremely difficult for me to adjust to the notion that he wanted a PERSON - not a slave, a toy, a tool, a piece of furniture, or an extension of his own will to command, to control, and to punish when I get it wrong. He actually cared about what I was thinking, feeling, wanting, and needing, and not just about what I could do for him. I was VERY unaccustomed to being treated as though my mind or my state of being mattered, and the uncertainty of what I was supposed to do or who I was supposed to be was incredibly painful and frightening at first. Elly flies off into the distance, bearing a kind of discomfort that used to be all too familiar to me.

But then Elly spent some time actually looking at the world around him, instead of focusing on blindly obeying whomever he feels he is supposed to be loyal to, and he seems to realize, if a little slowly, that he has a place in this world, even without needing to be "useful" to someone else:

How do you light a candle without a match, indeed? If a candle doesn't have a match, what purpose does it serve? This is further explained in this video, and it shows Elly making a decision to return to Maja; he decides that he is the master of his own fate, and decides to act upon his own values, and to be the match to his own candle:

This all ties back, of course, to the Independent Together video I showed you before, from Steven Universe. "What do I want to be? I'm the master of me…" as a phrase, somehow manages to be both empowering and terrifying at the exact same time.

I am learning how to be the match to my own candle; it is why I will keep saying "I continue to chill" until I can actually mean it for real. The world I inhabit now indeed has no place for the "ancient ways" that I learned in my past, and so I will adjust, because I am a sentient being who is capable of unlearning and relearning.

Those scientists might have created you with a particular purpose in mind. You might have been trained viciously and brutally honed into a weapon. You might have been trained to give up your autonomy and your authentic needs and desires in service to people who never really cared about you. But Sephiroth, at the end of the day, the only one who gets to decide what you will do… is you.

So will you rise to the challenge of being a match to your own candle? Will you rise up into being the master of you? You longed for a normal life. You longed for friends familial relationships. You longed for fun and for laughter. You longed for pumpkin soup. You longed for so many things. You longed for such wholesome things.

What if I told you that all it takes for you to have the things you longed for is to stop hiding your needs, feelings, wishes, thoughts, and genuine voice from others? What if I told you that you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not, just because a bunch of people who didn't care about you as much as they cared about what you could do for them fed you a really stupid definition of what "good" is supposed to look like, in service to their own shitty agenda? What if I told you that all you have to do is stop denying your own humanity and innermost nature, in favor of being the kind, loving, and gentle individual you always were?

Sephiroth, you're a PERSON, not a monster, not a tool, and not a war machine, no matter what they did to you, and no matter what you've done in the past. You're a living, breathing, sentient human being. You are a warm, soft, and squishy mammal (many of the best things are!), so please be mindful to treat yourself as such. Don't go the way of Darren; use your incredible brain to be like Elly and adjust. You can do it if you try.

So please try. Please stay safe out there as you do your things. And please use the knowledge that you're loved and cared for by me and many others in my world to grant yourself the necessary courage to make good, kind, and loving choices. I'll be over here in the meantime, waiting for you, wishing for good things upon you, cheering you on, and singing little songs for you until you come back home to us all, as I always do.

I'll write some more to you tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[bro-ken-spoon]

You can bring one story element (so it doesn’t have to be a specific scene, it can be a plot point, a bit of worldbuilding, whatever) from Malaterra into Broadchurch and make it canon for that universe. What do you pick?

Thank you for asking I am very excited to talk about this! Heavy spoilers for Malaterra, obviously.

So. My first thought is. So the first thing you need to know is that in this version of Broadchurch, Ellie (her name is Karine in this one) is a widower (which means Joe is dead from the beginning lol) and she lives with her kids and parents. This is extremely plot relevant for this version of the show. But it also culminates in what I think is the most dramatic part of the whole French series (which, by the way, is so very dramatic overall. It almost feels like watching a soap opera or telenovela)

So, there's this bit where they're about to go to Danny's (his name is Nathan in this one, and it's pronounced "Nuh-tahn" which was very helpful towards figuring out what words they were saying once I figured that out lol) funeral, and Karine's dad (his name is Toussaint, which is. So French) is like "Hey I have something I need to tell you, but I can't do it here. I'll tell you after the funeral" and then!!!! During the funeral, he collapses and goes into a coma!!! So he doesn't get to tell her his secret!!!! But I mean. You do very much figure it out. Even though he doesn't actually wake up for the rest of the series asdlgjdlsfj

Okay so like obviously to make this fit you'd have to change some things in Broadchurch, because Ellie's dad doesn't show up until season two anyway, and also. The murderer is different. But I just think that is so dramatic and made the viewing experience extremely fun. It is kind of a different vibe than Broadchurch has overall but I still think it's really fun and I would love to see something like it.

Thank you for asking I hope this wasn't too much information but I looooove talking about this show!!!!!

[robinismywifee]

Back to the Old House - Chapter 2:

July 16, 2034

[2 weeks and 4 days after Chapter 1]

Raines age: 16 years, 5 months

Ellies age: 15 years, 2 months

CW: D slur used

Words: 2676

Masterlist

Raines Pov:

I felt the fabric surrounding me and my body aching almost everywhere.

I opened my eyes, immediately squinting them at the bright light.

"Wh.. where.." I mumbled my thoughts, my mouth felt dry and my ears rung.

"Hello?" my throat was scratchy, my voice raspy.

I turned my head to the left, my head spun in circles and a black rim surrounded my vision. I saw an empty chair, I looked down to where I was layed.. "Where.." I panted, where the fuck am I?

The more I looked the more medical supplies I saw, am I in some communities hostpital? no, that's impossible.

I moved my legs off the edge of the bed, and went to stand but immediately fell to the ground to my bare knees, my head fell back and I groaned in pain.

After sitting there with my head spinning, I forced myself to get up. "Mother?" I mumbled outloud, It was meant to be loud, to be a scream even, but my voice came out small and quiet.

Once I stood up again, leaning against the bed, I looked around the room. I saw pills sitting on the table beside the bed, I almost fell again from how quickly my legs moved to it. I lifted the bottle, morphine sulfate tablets. I unscrewed the bottle, dumping out the pills, there was only two pills left in the bottle, so I took them both.

I dropped the bottle once I saw water, I unscrewed the bottle and chugged the whole thing. I dropped the, now empty, bottle to the ground as well. I need to get out of here..

I looked down to my outfit to see that I was wearing a hospital gown. Fuck, where are my normal clothes? Whatever.

I leaned against the wall to make my way out of the room, it was dark in the halls. I made my way down the hall until I got to a lobby, there was a desk with what looked to be some sort of documents scattered around the table.

I slowly made my way to the desk to see what it is, maybe get a clue of where I am, maybe this is the fireflies? God I hope it is.

The papers seemed to be just keeping track of the hostpitals inventory. Boring.

"Raine?"

I never lifted my head faster. "Who- the fuck- where am I- Don't fucking come any closer, i'll fuck you up"

The girl raised her hands, "Calm down, I assume you don't remember anything?"

"What the fuck are you talking about? Remember what?"

୨♡୧

The nurse sat me down and said that I was in a coma for over 2 weeks. I wasn't buying anything she was saying, why would they take me in to take care of me and waste all their medication? They don't know me.

She explained to me that two of their citizens who were out on patrol had found me in a library coughing up blood, and that was part of the reason I went into the coma- apparently choking on my own vomit. I don't know, but i'm over this whole thing. I need to get back on the road. Plus i'm still waiting for this girl to whip out a gun and kill me.

"Well, that was very nice of this.. Jackson place, to take me in and waste all their medication instead of leaving me to die, even though its also really fucking stupid. I mean- I could be a baby murderer for all you guys know. But anyways, where's my shit? I mean, my bookbag that has my guns and journal in it and my clothes, where are my clothes? Can I just get my shit and leave please? I was kind of in the middle of something"

The nurse looks at me almost dumbfounded. And then laughs. I looked at her confused. "Wow.. well, you definitely are not leaving until a few more weeks. I would say at least 2 months to be safe-"

"Okay, fuck you. I didn't ask for you guys to save me, like I said, thank you, but I will be on my way, just give me my shit back. Why the fuck do you care anyways? It's not like i'm asking for extra ammo or food"

"Look, dear, I don't know where you are headed, but you are in no condition to be out on the road. You can't even walk straight-"

"Then fucking send me out tomorrow, i'll be back to good by then"

"No.. you won't. Like I said, you were nearly dead when we found you. I'm supprised you're still even with us, it's gonna take weeks for you to heal. And considering you came all the way from Boston, doesn't it sound nice to have a break?"

"What?"

Boston? How the fuck does she know about Boston? Did she read my fucking journal or something?"

The nurse looked at Raine confused, forgetting that she hadn't told her about who found her.

"How do you know I came from there?"

"Oh, I completely forgot to mention. The main reason we saved you is because the girl who found you at the library already knew you, so we did actually know that you weren't a baby murderer."

"What? Who? Is- was... was it fucking Julie?"

"I'm sorry dear, I don't know any Julie. It was Ellie Williams"

I stood up from my chair, looking down at her in her chair. "What the fuck kind of joke is this? You fucking read through my journal or some shit? What kind of sick fucks are you!"

The nurse kept on trying to calm Raine down, but with the drugs she took setting in, it caused her mood swings, along with just coming out of a coma she was still in agitation state.

I moved her hands off of my shoulders, and shoved her to the ground, I felt tears in my eyes, I kicked the nurse in the stomach, watching as she hunched over in pain, "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Once I saw her gripping at her stomach, I decided to make a run for it. It was night time, it was dark out. Maybe I can make it out of here?

I ran down the halls to the staircase. I ran down the steps passing each floors until I got to the bottom floor, I didn't hear any footsteps following behind me, "Fucking week ass nurse couldn't even get up after that" I whispered to myself with a chuckle.

I saw the exit sign and ran to it, I opened the doors to a big village, they had lights everywhere, but everyone seemed to be indoors,

I can still make it.

Okay, maybe not.

A lady with short blonde hair gripped tightly onto my shoulders, "Get the fuck off of me!"

The lady was strong, and I hated to admit it, but with the state I was in, I was weak.

"Shh, shh, calm down, its okay, you're safe here. Please calm down."

I gave up. I couldn't fight anymore.

"My name's Maria, i'm the leader of Jackson"

A women as the leader, thats a good sign

"What caused you to be this agitated and try to run away?" Maria asked

"The fucking- the nurse" I panted, my heart was beating so fucking fast.

"Hey, you're gonna be okay, just breath" Maria helped me catch my breath. Once I was breathing normally, she continued. "What did the nurse do?"

"She's a liar. She- she read my personal journal- a- and she's saying someone from my past fucking found me and brought my here"

Maria slowly nodded. "Okay, I know this might seem, impossible, but nobody read your journal. Nobody even opened your bag. It's safely placed in my office. Nobody even knew you had a journal. Now.. I believe this person you're talking about.. are you talking about Ellie?"

My heart went back to my throat, my breathing picked up again, "Why- why do you know her name? Wh- why"

"Keep calm, everythings okay. Ellie lives in this community, she said she knew you back at the Boston QZ, is that correct?"

I nodded, but my confusion grew. "How- thats not possible, Ellie- Ellie.. I thought she was dead.. how the fuck- why the fuck would she be all the way over here? You're lying to me"

"I'm not lying to you. Do you want to see her with your own eyes?"

I quickly shook my head no. No way do I wanna face her after putting her through that year of misery.

"That's okay, and I understand how crazy it seems, both of you from Boston ending up in Jackson, Wyoming, I was shocked to hear it myself, but it's true."

"I.. I dont have time for this, can you take me to your office so I can get my bag and leave?"

"You may have your stuff.. minus the guns. And you won't be leaving till you're stable."

"Please.." I whispered, my eyes burning

"Why are you in such a rush? May I ask where you're headed?"

"Actually.. maybe you could help me? C- can I ask a question?"

"Sure.. go ahead, I hope I have the answer you're looking for."

"Is- or was anyone in this community ever a firefly?"

I could tell by Marias eyes that she got confused from the question.

"Uh.. yeah, we have a few. My husband was on-"

"Really?" My eyes light up- is this really it? am I finally gonna get there?

"Yeah.."

"Can I please speak to your husband? Where is he? What time is it? Is he still awake?"

"Yeah, you can talk to him.. he still is awake, its only 21:00. Hes still at Joels, come on, i'll take you there"

Maria started walking, and I, now calmed down a lot more and new found hope in my bones, happily walked beside her.

"So who's this Joel guy?"

"He's uh.. He's his brother."

"Oh, nice. So what's the ex-fireflies name?"

"Tommy"

The rest of the walk was Maria giving me a tour, all though I didn't pay attention at all. We had stopped at her house and she gave me clothes- just a pair of jeans and a white tanktop (and new undergarments) and we were back on our walk

"This is it... look, I don't know what you want to talk with him about, but.. I wouldn't get your hopes up too high. Once you're done talking, come to my house and i'll let you stay in the extra bedroom we have"

I nodded to her, hoping I would somehow remember where her house was after.

I knocked at the door, glancing slightly behind me watching Maria walk away. Fuck. Couldn't she just have stayed to introduce me to them and then leave?

I shook my leg up and down, staring at the ground biting my lips, hearing men talking inside, although I couldnt make out what they were saying. Wait, what the fuck did Maria meant by-

"Hello?"

A confused mid aged man opened the door, "H- hi, uh, Maria showed me to here, i'm looking for tommy?"

The man nodded, "And you are..?"

"Fuck- right, im Raine- Raine Laval"

The mans eyebrows raised, "Oh, wow, you uh, you're on your feet now, how long have you been awake?"

"Oh.. just about an hour"

"And you're already walking around?"

"Uh..."

"Sorry for my manners, come in" It was only until now that I realized he had an accent, sounded southern.

"Um, are you tommy or.."

"No, Tommy is just in the living room, i'm Joel, it's nice to finally meet you"

"Oh, thanks"

Joel brought me to the living room were another man sat, "Well, take a seat anywhere, we were just wrapping up a game of cards"

I nodded awkwardly, trying to ignore my shakey hands, I sat in the comfy chair as they sat on the sofa, cards facing down were on the table.

"Tommy, this is Raine"

Tommys eyebrows raised slightly looking at me, before he cleared his throat, "Hello Raine, good to see you on your feet, you here for Ellie?"

My eyebrows scrunched confused and shook my head no, I still don't even believe these people about Ellie. There's just no fucking way. And why the fuck would Ellie be at the random old guys house?

"I- i'm here for you.. I wanted to speak to an ex-firefly.." I said nervously, bobbing my knee up and down, picking at scabs at my arms.

"Oh.. well, what for? Did you have questions?"

"Yeah.. I- I've been looking for the fireflies for the past year now, I never got a direct answer, just that it was out west and more in the middle.." I watched as Tommy and Joel both turned to look at eachother, Joels mouth opened to speak but closed back up right after, and they both looked back at me. I started to get even more anxious at that.

"Uh.. so, you know, as an ex firefly, do you.. maybe know? Where they are at? Specifically the ones that were looking for the cure?"

"Look kid.. I, uh," Tommy spoke, glancing back at Joel and then to me, "I don't think there are.. any fireflies, looking for a cure anymore"

"What.. what do you mean?"

"They.. they where looking for one.. and they even- they even found people that were immune, but, their immunity didn't do anything.. they couldnt create a vaccine with it or anything.. so they.. they gave up" Joel said, scratching the back of his head.

I scoffed, "No, I don't think you understand, they wouldn't just give up, she wouldn't just give up." I stood up, eyebrows furred, almost yelling.

"They did, I know it might be a lot to take it, but they all went their separate ways" Joel said, standing up, I walked over to him, pointing my finger at him, "What the fuck do you know? You were never even a firefly were you? Huh? Why the fuck should I believe you anyways?!" I pushed on his chest. I felt myself loosing hope.

"I know it sounds crazy-" Joel tried

"Sounds crazy?! Sounds fucking crazy? What the fuck is up with this fucking community and saying the most impossible, unbelievable, bullshit? Do you guys really think im that fucking dumb! I mean seriously? What the fuck is up with this town?"

Joel contuined to try and calm me down, placing his hands on my shoulders, "No, get your FUCKING hands off of me! Don't fucking touch me, don't tell me to fucking calm down! I did not come all the way from fucking! Boston! For nothing!" I was yelling now. Tears were running down my face.

I stopped yelling once I heard that voice, say my name, again.

"Raine?"

I turned around, snot and tears running down my face, my lips red from crying.

I scoffed once I saw her stand side by side with a girl. She had short black hair and tattoos. I looked down to see their fingers tangled, but once Ellie noticed I saw, she quickly let go, and took a step away from the girl.

I felt tears run down my cheeks uncontrollably, and I wasnt even blinking.

"What? You fucking found your dad or some shit?" I said bitterly, looking back at Joel and back to her, "Is that why you ran away? To be with daddy?"

I bit the inside of my cheek hard and spoke up again, walking towards them. "See you found a new dyke relationship too" I mumbled quiet enough for only the two girls to hear, as I shoved Ellie to the side to open the door and slam it shut.

༶•┈┈┈┈┈┈୨♡୧┈┈┈┈┈•༶

[hypnotisedfireflies]

Ok say Joel was too late to save Ellie in Salt Lake City so he goes back to Jackson (maybe in shock? To give closure to Tommy?) and finds Tess there. How would that shape out?

Anon! You ask the hard dark questions, what are you trying to do to me?? Shit's about to get dark ...

Ellie was so instrumental to his ability to heal. Failing her - failing a second daughter - would shatter him.

He would barely get back to Jackson alive because he wouldn't be taking any care of himself or even paying attention to the journey. He'd just strike back out in that direction, hoping he'd die along the way, but not able to take his own life because he'd think he deserves a nice long life of suffering.

He doesn't make it all the way back. Gets close, but can't bring himself to go further and have to explain what happened. Once he arrives in Jackson life would have to start again and he doesn't want that. No Ellie, no Tess.

Tess, Tommy and Lachie set out like they planned in The Knight of Cups and find him in one of the towns nearby. Joel nearly kills them, firing from a sniper nest. He doesn't particularly care who they are and he's half-mad by this point. This is shooter!Joel from the hospital - totally disassociated.

They're trying to shout up to him who they are but he's beyond reason - and Tess can't be real anyway, right? Lachie gets shot in the arm.

Tess gets around the back of the building and quietly sneaks in. She manages to take Joel by surprise (because he's super fucking deaf) and holds him at gunpoint, but even that fails to penetrate.

"Okay, Texas. That's enough now."

And he'd just look at her with nothing in his eyes, no emotion - nothing.

"You know how I know you ain't her? Tess would've fired by now."

And then he throws himself at her and they fight. It's pretty one-sided - Tess is just trying to defend herself against his full brute strength. He almost kills her before Tommy gets up there. Joel can believe Tommy is real and he has a moment of clarity. He looks down and realises it really IS Tess that he's got kneeling before him in a choke hold and she's almost unconscious. He lets go and Tommy knocks him out.

Joel has a few weeks where he's basically in a kind of grief coma, totally shut down and seriously unwell. Lachie heals up okay and Tess can't talk for a week because of the extent of the damage he did to her throat.

He and Tess reconnect over this time and she helps draw him out, but she can't fix him. He basically ends up where he was at the beginning of TLOU but worse. He and Tess leave Jackson for the Appalachian Mountains and are never seen by anyone else again.

.... yikes. Sorry. xx

[cto10121]

Waking Romeo (2022)—Review Part 2

[Part 1] In which Jules and Ellis bond over mutual trauma while getting followed by a mysterious threat, Jules comes to the most basic of revelations, Shakespeare gets mangled, soap opera-level twists, and the Romeo Hate Dumb train trudges serenely on. Spoilers, of course.

“Why?” he asks again.

“It was love,” I say automatically.

Ellis steps away, running his hands through his hair.

“You wish to be reunited with a boy who would let you do that to yourself?" he says, getting worked up.

“Starting was such sweet sorrow. I mean parting. I mean—”

“That is not what love is,” says Ellis, surprisingly forceful. “That is the opposite of that. It is about protecting this.” He puts his hand firmly over my scar, over my heart. (159)

Romeo let Juliet commit suicide.

Romeo let her.

ROMEO LET—

Okay, put aside the obvious fact that this astounding bit of clownery is not true, not even in this twisted AU. Barker’s Romeo overdosed while getting high and Jules thought he had died. So not even Romeo the Death Eater compelled/persuaded Jules to give her life for him. Let’s put all that aside.

Have not women their own fucking agency??!!! Jules made her own decision to shuffle off this mortal coil. She was acting out of unresolved grief for her dead cousin, which she later realized, and Romeo’s seeming death only just compounded it. So Barker’s warning against girls giving up everything for their boyfriends not only falls flat but is contradicted by the narrative itself.

My eyes are hot, verging on tears. I've cried plenty since what happened. I’ve shed rivers of tears over my husband though they were mostly the civilized kind, like Rosaline musters. Romeo got my pretty tears. But the ugly ones, the ones what make me keen and shake and let out strange noises? They belong in the dark, to my secret, and they can't come out now.

Something has to come out now, though—I can't keep it all down. So in the reflection with me, I imagine Romeo. Only this time I see him as he really was. A world away from the fourteenth-century honor and frills of my story.

“Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight, for I ne'er saw true beauty…” he whispers in my ear as he kisses my neck, as his hands run the length of my body. But, of course, that’s not quite the line he delivered that night in my bedroom. His language was mostly grunts and moans. The precious few words he used were…less poetic.

“Juliet Capulet tried to kill herself over a boy that she barely even knew,” I say to my reflection. (161)

Shocker.

So. A lot of bullshit to sort out here. 1) I don’t believe for one single second that Jules never ugly cried over Romeo. Not when she saw his dead body? Not when she saw him in a coma? Homegirl was really just 🥺 all along over a traumatic overdose and death attempt?

And 2) Barker’s penchant for recontextualizing lines from OG Romeo’s soliloquies/monologues as pick-up lines said directly to Juliet is truly pissing me off, especially since elsewhere Barker has shown extensive knowledge of Shakespeare, even the more obscure lines.

[Ellis POV] “I am in every word of it. I am in the people and the places and even in the weather. It is full of little jokes and references that only I would understand," I add, without humor. “She even used my Christian name for her character, and my surname as the pseudonym that she published the book under it is all in reference to me. Everything comes back to me. She was—”

I break off, unsure how to finish. I have never spoken of Emily to anyone. Frogs knew. In the first year when I pined for her so keenly, Frogs matter-of-factly announced that she had written a book. Afterward, he found me a copy and taught me to read it. Though we never discussed her. (166)

And then there’s the Wuthering Heights hate dumb. Emily Brontë was apparently such a bigot meanie that after Ellis disappeared from her life she wrote a whole-ass book about him as a sexy if monstrous Byronic anti-hero/antagonist and one-half of a dark star-crossed lover pair as a coping mechanism. And because of this Ellis is perfect for the similarly-wronged Jules.

“What I'm saying is…I don't actually believe that what I wrote is true.” Jules sounds surprised as she speaks, as though she has just worked that part out for herself. “I don’t think that the version of Romeo in these pages is the real boy or that it's what his character is actually like, deep down. The story is simply...an alternative version of events to help me move past the real ones. Maybe it was the same for her. Maybe your girl wrote that story, not because it was true, but because it wasn’t.” (167)

You seemed to be convinced yourself of it before, Jules. Hell, she barely even thought of Tybalt, the supposedly real catalyst for events, just Romeo and her love affair and then Ellis. I’m beginning to think the whole Tybalt’s-death-as-the-real-catalyst-for-Jules is a late retcon on Barker’s part when she realized it didn’t make a lick of sense.

“May I read it?” I nod at the notebook.

“No, it's silly,” says Jules, without missing a beat. “I wrote it in the style of Shakespeare, so the language is tricky. Besides—it’s not finished. I’m having trouble with the ending.” (167)

Again, I have to question the fact that Emily is framed critically for writing a whole-ass book about Ellis while our protagonist is framed favorably for writing a whole-ass book about Romeo. Maybe Romeo should go on a similar time travel adventure after he discovers Jules’ false portrayal of him in Waking Romeo and meets a secondary love interest who actually appreciates him and calls out her weird sexist double standard.

[Ellis POV] And then I think of her words from before: “What if he had gotten my note?” And I cannot help but speculate...what are the chances that the note in question was not the one that Frogs sent me to retrieve from her family crypt all those years go? The one with the two entwined hearts on the front, which smelled of perfume? The odds are not good, I would wager. (168)

So Jules sent a message to Romeo which did not get to him because Ellis had taken it first as part of his time travel missions. This leaves Ellis as directly responsible for R&J’s tragic ending…or at least he would be had not the author retconned this later and had her douchebag Romeo say he did read it and laughed at it. Yeah, that happened.

[Jules POV] “I thought you knew,” she says softly, “that I visit him after you leave.”

I feel sick. “How long? How long have you been coming?”

She smiles sadly.

“Always.”

Rosaline has always come? I think back to all those cheesy tribute assemblies and the rivers of fake tears. Were they real after all? Was it all real? Does she genuinely love him?

“We were together for years before you entered the picture,” Rosaline reminds me. “I care about him too.” (215)

Oh, no, no, you’re not getting away with this, Barker!!!

So Rosaline’s “pretty tears” and clichéd speeches for Romeo turn out actually genuine, one of the most blatant retcons of this piece. I have a feeling halfway through Barker read her editors’ notes, realized the backlash against the Not Like Other Girls trope, and did some hasty backtracking.

And of course, there’s the 483727733th iteration of ‘Rosaline and Romeo were actually a thing after all.’ Kill this with fire.

“I am glad you got your…what was it that you called him? Your pretty piece?” I say, repeating her words from before, perhaps somewhat unkindly.

“Pretty…to imply not manly.” Jules shakes her head. “Yes, I used to do that all the time, even in my head—describe ‘feminine’ traits in men as somehow a weakness. I didn’t do it consciously: But even in my writing, the bias was there.”

Is this a rebuke of herself and of Emily? Wuthering Heights is known for subverting gender stereotypes, yet also for portraying femininity…less favorably. (221)

The author accidentally included her notes in the book, I see. These editors are getting more incompetent by the day.

So as part of the whole “whoops, I just realized my earlier Not Like Other Girls shit is now unpopular” thing (a working theory), our author is now bravely trying to convince us she was making a point about internalized misogyny. Except that OG Juliet does not describe Romeo with femininized imagery. Probably the closest is the little bird metaphor…but even then that just reads as kinky.

[Jules POV] And I was wrong—love isn't everything.

I decide that, if I ever write another play, it won't be a love story. It will be about action—taking action versus not taking action. Because standing on my balcony, looking out at the in-tatters world? It's becoming clear that we have to act. That we have to do it today, or tomorrow won't happen.

With that, my thoughts return to Shakespeare. His plays used to be performed at a theater called “the Globe.” I figured it was just a cool name—I never really thought about the metaphor of it. The idea that all the drama was literally playing out on the world's stage. That each story, however small, was part of a bigger picture. (225)

*sings in Aspects of Love* Love / Love isn’t everything

Yes, because that was what was wrong with the OG Juliet—her just standing in her balcony babbling about love when she should have been out there girlbossing an end to the feud!!! What do you mean, she’s a 13-year-old in a patriarchal society that raised her to be meek and obedient and subservient to men? That’s no excuse for being such a basic bitch!!!!

Also. OG R&J are many things. But passive ain’t one of them. Romeo approaches Juliet, Juliet flirts back, he climbs high-ass garden walls, she tells him to arrange for their marriage and sends her Nurse to him, Juliet comes to the church to get married, they marry, Romeo tries to intervene in the fight, he fights and kills Tybalt, Juliet meets with the Friar and drinks the coma potion, Romeo flies to Mantua, buys poison, and returns when he hears Juliet is dead, kills Paris and then himself, and Juliet wakes up and kills herself. What part of all of that reads passive to you?????

[Jules POV] And then I'm thinking about how it all played out. How everything happened because my cousin had died the week before. Tybalt was dead, so I went to that goddamn party. My heart was all bleeding and raw. I needed something to numb the pain, and there he was—Romeo. I used the attention of a boy as my drug and distraction.

Tybalt's death was the tragedy that sparked all disaster to follow. Without him dying, I would never have been at that party, would never have fallen for Romeo. My story would have been different. Everyone's story would have been different. So why the hell did Tybalt have to die? (243)

Before this moment, Jules has only spoken about Tybalt like maybe TWICE in the whole goddamn book. I read this book from cover to cover and I cannot tell you anything about who Tybalt was, his personality, nor his relationship to Juliet—only that he died. We get absolutely no insight or even inkling into Jules’ past relationship with him beyond one or two vague anecdotes. So yes, I count this whole psychological explanation as a retcon, and a badly done one too.

Anyway, with Ellis’ help Jules finally manages to wake Romeo with the drug, but as a cop-out she leaves before he fully awakens. When she does meet him at his parents’ house, Jules drops this bombshell on him:

“That night when we were together in my room…” I say, my voice trailing off. How pathetic am I that I can't even say it? I didn't even put it in my story—I merely alluded to it as “the love-performing night,” of all the childish cop-outs.

There’s a long, drawn-out silence.

“I got pregnant,” I finally say. “I didn’t know it when I went to the crypt that night. When…” I leave that part unsaid. “The nurses didn’t realize until after the third operation. By that point, they'd already pumped me full of every kind of drug to keep me breathing.” I try to keep my voice clinical. “They said it was a miracle the baby wasn't gone already, but that if it survived, it would be ... different.” At the mention of “different,” Romeo's eyes automatically travel to my arm—the numb one. I try to ignore it.

“Mum, Dad, and Aunt Miranda kept it a secret. I basically stayed in my room for a whole year. People thought I was grieving,” I continue. “Or they thought my parents had locked me up because I was out of control.” (260)

Jules had a secret baby even though by all accounts she should have miscarried it from both her suicide attempt and the drugs they used to save her. We are officially in soap opera territory.

[hocus-pocus-crocus]

Episode √13: Jukebox Riot We find out that Louis and Victor are regular volunteers at Mossvale FM, the local community radio station. Its manager, the seemingly affable Mr. Slaugh, is actually a mean-spirited old cuss in private, haranguing the station's hosts for the drop in listenership. Riya, a recent Mossvale graduate, is singled out for some especially venomous words about her choices in music. He tells her that he wants the station playing what everyone actually wants to sing. In frustration, she invokes a demon to ensure that happens. In an entirely expected twist, the demon instead makes it so whatever music Riya plays, people are compelled to sing, transforming Mossvale into a rock-adjacent 90s jukebox musical. It's up to the Scoobies to figure out what's up and help Riya break the infernal spell -- because a still very much un-souled Sarah Ellis is feeling some particularly human stirrings from what the music is doing to her, and she'll cut the spell off at the source, even if it means draining Riya dry. Notable numbers include: Under the Bridge by Red Hot Chili Peppers Ruairidh goes through his early morning routine: coffee and gym, walking through the streets of Mossvale before anyone else is up. Each time the song gets to "I don't ever wanna feel / like I did that day," the mirror at the gym shows him at a different low point: In a coma after the first attack, waking up disoriented, difficulty rehab, and finally standing over the demon covered in its gore. Sheep Go to Heaven by Cake Mossvale College wakes up with this song defining a particularly uninspiring and drizzly Thursday morning where no one really feels like going to classes. At the refrain "goats go to hell," the Mossvale student body makes it clear that they know they're already there.

Rock n' Roll Lifestyle by Cake Quentin, Victor, and Ruairidh get real nasty to Laurent when he tries to impress people with his expensive rock memorabilia and a new bad boy persona, capitalizing on the musical world to try and get unearned cred.

Dreams by The Cranberries Reese sings a slightly punchier cover between brawls in the sewers as he and Ruairidh rough up local demonic bottom feeders for info on who's behind the music. He's immeasurably glad that his singing wasn't fully diegetic so Ruairidh didn't hear him call him a dream.

Who Will Save Your Soul by Jewel Quentin gets weirdly in his own head about not being able to find anything about this particular kind of musical demon in the Restricted Section. It's clear to everyone that when he says "Who will save your souls," he's actually talking about his own with one meaningful look towards Darkest Magic.

Come Out and Play by The Offspring Victor and Ruairidh take turns singing this one as tempers flare during a particularly failed planning session. All three other Scoobies take turns singing "You gotta keep 'em separated" as they try and fail to intervene between the two of them.

Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger Victor sings this when he finally breaks from the group to meet with Imogene, using his psychometric gifts and musical magic to show how his visions screw with him. "Paranoia, paranoia, everybody's coming to get me" -- and of course, we see Ruairidh still in peak demon hunter form.

Walkin' on the Sun by Smash Mouth Louis sings in a highly stylized montage as we see him smooth ruffled feathers with the Scoobies, check in with other important NPCs, and schmooze at Club Acheron for info that leads them back to the radio station.

Just a Girl by No Doubt Sung contrastingly by Riya and Sarah as the Scoobies help Riya confront Mr. Slaugh about his misogynistic horseshit while Sarah beats the ass of one of her lieutenants to bring her minions back into line as they prepare to storm the radio station. The catharsis finally breaks the demon's spell, just before the vamps can break their way through.

Closing Time by Semisonic The whole cast sing this as they pile into the back of the Jeep after saving Riya from a lifetime of damnation and a very fatal beating from Sarah. It's the last song as the magic finally starts to fade. During refrains of "I know who I want to take me home," meaningful looks to and from various Scoobies affirm who trusts whom and where there's still tension.

[thetwobosses]

For the Boss ask meme: #1, #10, #18 for Boss/es of your choice! I'm one of your newer followers so I'm looking through your stuff about your Bosses now and I'm very intrigued 😊

Hello and thank you! :D I'll answer for Meryl, Colin and Eli since they are my main Bosses and the most developed.

1. Is your Boss's name a secret? Do some people know but not others? Do they use a pseudonym? A nickname?

Meryl's full name used to be Meryl Tammesalu, but once the gang stuff got serious in SR2, she legally dropped her surname to try to keep the rest of her family from being as publicly associated with her and thus safer (that and people kept mispronouncing it). The name is Estonian (it means 'oak grove'), as her grandparents were among the thousands of Estonian expats fleeing WW2 to North America.

Colin was born in London as Sean Healey, but moved to Stilwater in his late teens to escape his destitute life and start fresh, experience the "American Dream" and all that. In his mind, a new beginning demanded a new name, because he felt his was too "soft" and "uncool". He picked out 'Colin Alton' because he thought it sounded more sophisticated without being overly pretentious. As the Saints rose in fame, Colin would downplay his past, including his old name. While he didn't manage to scrub all evidence of it, it wasn't too well known either. When Colin ended up stranded in Meryl's universe after SR3, he initially didn't tell anyone he used to go by a different name, so Meryl's searches for a version of Colin native to her universe didn't bear fruit. Colin had figured that if he hadn't changed his name (and thus moved to the US), he probably would have remained languishing in London and he decided he would rather not find out whether that was the case. He ended up ultimately being proven correct, as he and Meryl were confronted by an incredulous and pissed off Sean Healey during a trip to London, but that's a whole story on its own.

Eli's last name is Chase (there should probably be a middle name as well but tbh I've never really wrapped my head around middle names being a thing in many countries so none of my characters have them xD). He's an enby and goes by all pronouns, though generally defaults to he/him, and kind of as a part of that also encourages variation in the pronunciation of his first name. It can be the usual 'ee-lye', but also rhyming with 'Ellie'. Pierce and Shaundi tend to go with the latter and even shorten it to 'El/Elle' as a nickname.

10. How has your Boss changed throughout the games/years?

Meryl has probably changed the least of the main three. She'd initially joined the Saints because it had seemed like a cool and interesting thing at the time (plus she was going through a rebellious phase), and while she did go through a darker, more brutal period after her coma as many Bosses would, her underlying personality remained fun-loving and excitable over her career in the Saints.

Colin would let his vengefulness and quick temper get the better of him at times, especially in Steelport when his knee-jerk reaction was to not let Killbane get away. The loss of Shaundi, and the discovery that while Meryl had led her Saints through almost the exact same situations, her Shaundi still lived, had Colin eventually choose to make a concerted effort to curb some of his worst impulses. It's not perfect, but these days he can usually swallow his pride and take a slight without blowing up over it (though he will grump about it later in private).

Eli has grown a lot in the Saints. He joined up only after Jack woke from her coma and begun reforming the gang, but started out as rather meek and anxious, and with very little combat experience. He stood out as a tactician and strategist though, and once Pierce took him under his wing, Eli really started coming into his own in the gang. Jack gambled and elevated him to lieutenant to replace Carlos despite Eli's similar lack of experience with leadership. After Jack got killed in a Masako ambush and the Saints were torn on how to respond, Eli ended up grabbing the reins much to everyone's surprise (including his own). As much as Eli wasn't a fond of Jack's ruthlessness and penchant for violence, and vowed to not end up following in her footsteps, the later war against the Syndicate forced him to make some uncomfortable compromises. Yet he would never go as far as she did, and would still try and look for non-violent solutions first.

18. Do they have a best/closest friend?

Meryl grew up close with her family, especially one of her brothers. In the Saints, though she was naturally close friends with Johnny, Shaundi and Pierce, she wouldn't find a true soulmate until the arrival of Colin. Despite their many differences in upbringing and personality, their shared traits and experiences in the Saints helped bring them together as friends and then lovers. She also eventually grew a real fondness for Sean Healey, after Colin brought him to live with them in the US.

In his old universe, Colin had been especially close with two people: Johnny Gat, and fellow Brit Colin Faulkner. Colin and Johnny fell in together early on in the Saints, though Colin never revealed to Gat his unrequited infatuation. Johnny's "death" hit Colin hard, but rather than properly process his grief, he buried it deep down and tried to ignore it. Colin Faulkner (a non-Boss AU version of @princessdemeter's Boss) was an (ex-)hooker in Stilwater whom my Colin ended up befriending after his coma. Faulkner soon became Colin's confidante and friend with benefits, in part because he never officially joined the Saints. Colin's hopeless feelings for Gat made him willfully blind to the fact that Faulkner had fallen for the Boss, or that his own affections for Faulkner might have been more than just platonic. Unfortunately the two of them would never have the chance to work things out except in AUs, as a few months after SR:TT, Colin would end up permanently whisked away to Meryl's universe by a wayward piece of Zin tech. There, after somewhat rocky beginnings, he and Meryl quickly grew close. Colin eventually also decided to make peace with his humble origins and reached out to Sean Healey despite their poor first impressions. They found enough common ground to become good friends over the years and Colin even brought Sean over to live with him and Meryl in Steelport.

Pierce became Eli's closest friend in the Saints almost from the get-go. The two of them had similar inclinations towards choosing strategy over brute force methods, making them natural allies in the gang between Jack and Gat's bloodlust and Shaundi taking credit for Pierce's ideas. They also share similar senses of humor and several geeky interests, leading them to enjoy each other's company even outside of "work". They started dating between SR2 and 3 and managed to remain together even thought the strain of the presidency and the Zin invasion. Eli wasn't actually as close with the other Saints lieutenants as most Bosses. While Johnny was alive, the two of them often found themselves diametrically opposed and respected each other more for their skills than character. Eli was initially annoyed with Shaundi's constant one-upping of Pierce as well as her penchant for drugs, but they found a better understanding with each other over time. Of the Steelport lieutenants, Eli and Oleg got along well, while he distrusted Kinzie, remained ambivalent and slightly wary toward Angel and Viola, and absolutely abhorred Zimos. Once in space, Eli and Matt ended up becoming friends, especially since there hadn't been too much bad blood between them back in Steelport, and Eli would often prefer having Matt hack the Simulation over Kinzie.

[weasleywinchester]

I Can't Help Myself- Ch. 6 (J's Version)

And I Kissed it a Thousand Times

Series Summary:

This world isn’t kind to anyone; and heaven forbid anyone wants a slice of happiness. You wanted the stereotypical, as most people would tell you, dream of falling in love, getting married and having kids. After coming to Jackson, you kept that dream to yourself. Until your stupid best friend’s stupidly handsome older brother waltzes in, and you tell him. Joel thinks it’s nice that you can hold onto a dream like that… and he let’s his guard down just long enough to think maybe…he might want that too.

Chapter Summary: A thousand years. You could have sworn it had been a thousand years since your family was attacked. Since Joel was nearly beaten to death. Since Ellie was hurt. But it was a few days, a few days filled with uncertainty if Joel would wake up, if those bastards that did this would be caught. Unfortunately everyone felt responsible; responsible for seeking revenge, bringing justice. But in the end this was your family, and no one fucking messes with that.

warnings: Violence (beating, gun shots, blood, death), smut, cursing

“(Y/N)?” Maria pokes her head into the house.

“Ya?” You shout from the living room.

“Charlotte at the daycare was a bit overwhelmed today with the kids, I assumed you wouldn’t mind if I toted Billy around?” She gives you a small smile. "I sent Ellie to grab him."

“You want to tote around a wild two year old, be my guest.” You nod, fluffing Joel’s pillow one more time. She watches as you flit around, making sure all the machines are working, making sure Joel has everything in order.

“They’re eager to find the people that did this.” She says after a few minutes.

“I sure fucking hope so. We gotta get these fuckers.” You stand, putting your hands on your hips. You stare at her for just a moment before turning to the mess on your kitchen counter.

“We?” She quips. You haven's stopped moving since you made it home a couple of days ago. You've been living off three hours of terrible sleep and a boat load of tea; not exactly in good shape to hunt anything.

“Ya, we.” You frown. She’s got her mayor look on, which is never good.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to send so many-“

“Then send less.” You retort. She takes a deep breath in, pursing her lips. She's dreading whatever is about to come out of her mouth...

“I don’t think we can send anyone.” She states, her eyes looking anywhere but you. The silence is louder than a 747 flying straight into the house. Anyone? What the fuck does that mean? “It’s not that I don’t want to-“

“Seriously?”

“The town will be left unprotected-“ She reaches for you but you step away from her.

“That’s why I said send less people.” Who even is this person? Every time anyone is in danger from outsiders she is sending a team for back up. But when her brother-in-law almost gets beaten to death she's not going to do anything?

“It’s not that simple. We don’t know if they’re close, if there’s other groups-“

“You know damn well if Tommy was the one in a coma, Joel would have taken a group already and you would have been right beside him.”

Maria lets out a sigh, pulling out a dining chair and taking a seat. She gives a slow nod as she processes your words. They were true. But she has a town to think about, and some of her strongest people were running extra patrols as it was.

“We can’t afford to leave Jackson vulnerable. Think about the town, about Billy.”

As if on cue you hear his little giggle. Kids are home.

“Let’s talk about this later.” Maria slaps her thighs as she stands.

You quickly throw on the nearest flannel and make your way to the back door.

“Momma!” Billy gleefully shouts.

“Hey honey bee.” You reach for his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“How is he?” Ellie asks, shifting Billy to her other hip.

“Stable. Doc and a few others went to scout the nearest hospital for supplies. What we have will only help him so much.” You rub your eyes, the exhaustion seeping into your bones.

“Found time to shower.” She gently pokes, noticing you're not covered in blood for the first time in days.

“Had to bathe Joel, figured I’d bathe me too.” You punch her arm, taking Billy from her.

“Howdy family.” Tommy’s deep voice reverberates through the house.

“Been gettin’ any sleep?” She can tell you haven't; the bags under your eyes are dark and deep.

“Not really. You?”

“Every time I close my eyes…” Ellie shakes her head, feeling the pressure behind her eyes build.

“I get that.” You squeeze her hand. Her eyes move past your head, giving a small nod to who you assume is Tommy. You feel a hand at your back, a kiss to your temple and a low mumble of your name. You close your eyes, for just a second longer, wishing it was your husband.

“Let’s all watch a movie.” Tommy suggests. Billy gives a little clap and squirms out of your arms to follow his uncle.

“Fuck.” Ellie whispers as Joel comes into view. His whole face is black and blue, but the swelling's gone down since yesterday. A few people helped bring a hospital bed into the living room, setting him up so that it would be easier to care for him.

“Didn’t think he could be any uglier huh?” You jab, trying to keep a smile on your face for Billy. “Where you gunna sit honey bee?” You ask him. You watch as he carefully contemplates his options. He watches as Tommy, Maria and Ellie get comfortable.

“Pie.” He looks over his shoulder at you, pointing at Ellie. You sigh in relief as you help him into Ellie’s lap.

“You look relieved momma bear.” Tommy whispers, failing to keep his smile at bay.

“This boy loves his Papa, no matter what condition he’s in.” You throw a blanket over your kids, taking the seat on the end next to Joel’s bed. “He’s good when I sit him on the arm of the couch, but I wait for the moment he tries to climb him, or accidentally puts a tiny fist in a bruise.” You sigh.

“Maybe that’ll wake him up.” Tommy chuckles, earning a smack from his wife. “Ow woman… She’s knows I’m kiddin’.” He pouts. The three of you roll your eyes at him, turning to the movie playing on the screen. You pull your own blanket around you, watching as Ellie reads the scroll of yellow opening credits to Billy. You reach over the armrest, gently slotting your hand into Joel’s, and you could swear you feel him squeeze back as your eyes slowly close.

_______

Your eyes flutter open, blinking hard a few times as you lazily look around the room. Your fingers are still intertwined with Joel’s, the warmth from his hand still giving you hope for his recovery.

You sit up, hoping that Ellie has stayed the night. She stayed the first night, neither of you getting any sleep until after Doc left. And even then, it wasn't restful. You stretch, back cracking from sleeping in a weird position. Should clean up. You reach for your glass on the table when you see a little yellow note is stuck to it:

Bear,

I will make this right. For you and your kids. -Tommy

“Shit.” You whisper, gathering your blanket and trying to get off the couch. Damn you Tommy, Maria's going to kill me... and then kill you...

“Darlin…” It’s barely above a whisper, so faint you think you imagined it; but when you turn around his deep brown eyes are staring back at you.

“Joel?” You exhale, not believing your eyes as the corner of his mouth lifts into a small smile.

“Love you.” He smiles.

“Love you too Honeybunch.” A sob escapes your throat, tears falling down your face. You gently put your mouth to his, feeling his fingers gently caress your hip. You break away, keeping your forehead pressed against his.

“Think I could get some water?” He whispers.

“Ya, ya I’ll get that.” You give him one more kiss and make your way into the kitchen.

_______

 The gentle murmur of Doc and Joel talking in the living room is interrupted every so often with an excited Papa look! Billy’s voice is gentle, which makes you so happy that he understood he has to be gentle with his papa. You smile to yourself as you tidy up the entryway. With everyone coming and going over the last few days the poor coat hooks were constantly being yanked on. You reach for Joel’s jacket to run your fingers along the soothing leather but your hand hits a flannel shirt instead. You look at where it should be hanging, where it’s always hanging when Joel is home. 

Fuck me.

You bolt up the stairs as quietly as you can, searching your bedroom for Joel's watch. No no nononono. You tumble back down the stairs, slapping on boots, a jacket, and grabbing the house keys. Please, not both of them. You pray. When Doc arrived you had planned to go find Maria and figure out how to hell to get Tommy back to Jackson. But there was just so much to discuss that it looks like Ellie might have beat you to it.

You poke your head into the living room, waiting until there's a pause in their conversation. Joel’s eyes move to you, the familiar sparkle making your knees week.

“And you’re easily distracted.” Doc chuckles, turning to look at you.

“Mind if I step out for a minute?” You smile. Doc gives you a smile shooing you away. You glance at Joel who now has a small worry line across his forehead. You blow him and Billy a kiss and run to Tommy’s.

You slam open the door, eyes furiously scanning the house.

“He’s not here.” Maria’s voice calmly comes from the dining room.

“What?”

“He went to find them. To find her.” Maria clarifies, staring into the depths of her coffee.

“And he thought taking Ellie with him was a good idea?” The tremble in your voice bounces off the walls. How could they leave without sayin’-

“No. He tried to go instead of her.” She finally looks at you, and it’s like looking in a mirror. “I can’t lose him.”

“Tommy can take care of himself.” You can feel the tears sitting on the edge of your eyes, not sure if they’re from fear or fury.

“So can Ellie.”

“That’s not the fucking point.” Your voice wobbles. There’s so much emotion swirling inside you don’t know which way is up or down. A pair of arms wraps around you just as the world starts to spin even faster. 

“We couldn’t stop them.” Maria sighs. You know that, but Joel being awake changes everything. It changes the need for revenge. It means the hunt for that bitch and her friends could wait a little longer. You wrap your arms around her, fingers digging into her shoulders in an attempt to keep you grounded.

“Joel’s awake.” You whisper, taking a shaky breath in.

“What?” Maria leans back to look at you. She just talked to Doc this morning. He warned her that Joel might not live long enough for the medical supplies to get here.

“Joel’s awake.” You nod. Maybe if you left now you could catch them. Maybe it would all be-

“When?”

“This morning.” The look on her face tells you that both Ellie and Tommy would have made it too far by now.

“Are you going to tell him?”

Damn Tommy for not waiting just a moment longer. “I have to.”

_______

Months Later

“Joel!” You giggle as he throws you onto the bed. His body instantly covering yours, his mouth peppering kisses on every inch of skin he can find.

“You have to be-” He sucks the right spot on your neck, your back arching into him. “careful... No fair.” you breathe out, fingers tangling in his hair.

“Doc said I need to be more active… for the knee.” He smiles into your hair, grabbing your leg and placing it on his hip. He's missed being like this, carefree.

“Think he meant walkin’ Honeybunch.” You moan as he grinds long and slow into you.

“If I stay on top it’s the same.” He puts his open mouth back to yours, tongue licking every inch until your breathless. “I like this much better.” He mumbles, hand sliding into your pants. He runs one long finger through your folds, a big grin appearing when he feels how soaked you are. You're so sensitive and needy that a few harsh circles around your clit has you fluttering.

“You win. Need more.” You claw at his shirt, ripping it off over his head; greedy hands running rampant over his golden skin.

"Always so eager." He chuckles, leaning back far enough to peel your shirt off. As you throw it to the floor he yanks your bra down, taking a nipple between his lips, tongue gently teasing. A small fuck leaves your mouth as he moves his hand to tease the other.

“Too fuckin long.” He whispers, trailing kisses down your body. 

“Need you up here.” You grab his chin, guiding him back up. He vigorously nods, sliding your shorts off as he slots between your thighs.

“Anything you want.” He drawls, positioning himself at your entrance. You bring his mouth back to yours, moans intertwining as he splits you open. You bask in each others warmth; the feeling of hands running along backs, asses, arms; gripping and kneading everything and everywhere.

“Darlin…” he groans into your neck. He’s too close too soon but he doesn’t want to stop.

“Harder.” You whisper, hand slithering in between your bodies to toy with your clit. And he does just that, trusting faster and harder, the bite of your nails the only kind of pain he ever wants to feel again.

"Close." Your voice vibrates against his neck. His hips stutter, his release coating your walls as the flutter around him. He can feel your hot breath as you giggle.

"Feel so good." You smile, bring you mouth to his. A knock echos through the house, and you both lay still for a moment. It comes again and you both groan, untangling from each other.

You quickly get dressed, taking a look in the mirror before skipping down the stairs. Better be good... You open the door to find "Dina."

"Hey (Y/N)." She smiles, but there's no warmth behind it. You look around, hoping to see Ellie.

"She hasn't come back to Jackson." Dina clarifies.

"Why?"

"She needs time." She takes your hand in both of hers, "A lot happened."

"A lot's happened here too.” You bend to catch her eye. "She needs to come-"

"Who is it darlin'?" Joel asks, slowly making his way down the stairs. You watch as Dina's eyes go wide as saucers.

"Where is she Dina?" You tug at her hand.

"Umm... outside of Jackson. She's lookin for a house." Dina's words slowly fall from her lips, eyes never leaving Joel as he comes to stand behind you.

"A house?" Joel frowns.

"She doesn't fit in here." You take a deep breath in, trying to keep the tears from falling; lord knows you spent many nights crying about the possibility of your daughter not coming home.

"She was hoping you would pack for her." Dina clears her throat, shuffling awkwardly.

"Ya... ok." You nod, gesturing for Dina to come in. Joel pulls her into a hug, and she squeezes back a sob escaping her throat.

“Come here sugar.” You guide the two of them into the kitchen, throwing a pot of water onto the stove. The three of you sit around the table, not sure where to start.

“I’m pregnant.” Dina whispers. You and Joel share a glance but stay quiet.

“It’s not Ellie’s.” She jokes. You and Joel chuckle, it quickly turning into a deep belly laugh.

“Well, lord knows I keep everything. You’re welcome to take some of Billy’s old stuff.”

“They’re going to have a heck of time explain their family tree.” Joel chuckles, kissing your temple.

“All they have to say is I had a baby very late and Dina had one early-ish.” You smile, patting Dina’s hand.

“Will you help us get settled?” She asks.

“Of course.” You and Joel say in unison.

“I’ll have someone ride out to get her tonight.” Dina smiles. “She needs to see you.” She directs at Joel.

“Let me get her.” You nod. She nods back, her body relaxing into the chair.

“Run her a bath down here honey. Those salts I likes are still under the sink.” You stand, giving Joel a kiss and heading upstairs to grab your back pack.

_______

Two Years Later

“Your family’s still coming this weekend right?” Dina yells from the kitchen. She’s squinting at the calendar pinned to cork board, trying to read what looks like JJ’s writing.

“Like clock work. Momma might ride out tonight. Get everything set up for the boys.” Ellie yells from upstairs. She picks JJ up, bouncing him around as she picks up his toys.

“Joel can handle an almost five year old?” Dina yells back, a laugh clear in her voice.

“She’s not giving him a choice.” Ellie murmurs, kissing Dina’s shoulder. “She’ll ride back and meet him half way anyways.” A knock comes from the front door and both of them freeze.

“Thought you said tonight?” Dina whispers. Ellie hands JJ to her, slowly creeping to the front door.

“Ellie Jean Miller you better open this door!” You yell from the other side. Ellie sighs in relief, yanking open the door.

“What is all that?” She shakes her head as she grabs a box from your hands.

“More stuff for the cutest grand baby I could ask for!” You baby talk to JJ as Dina walks toward you.

“Memaw!” JJ claps, trying to climb into your arms as Dina gives you a side hug.

“Guess we’re trading.” Dina laughs as JJ clings to your neck and she grabs the other box from your hands.

“You’re a bit early.” Ellie says over her shoulder as she climbs the stairs.

“We had a few people from a nearby settlement pass through. One said there’s coffee not too far from here.”

“And you want me to go with you?” Ellie smiles, setting the boxes down in JJ’s room.

“I would love the company. And I may have told Joel it was closer then it actually is?” You playfully grimace, earning a classic Ellie eye roll.

“We leavin’ tonight or tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow. Memaw needs some play time with JJ!” You tickle him and he screams out in glee.

_______

“Three boxes of ammo.” You slap down a box on the table.

“For one bag.” The seller states.

“No way. At least two bags.”

She eyes you up and down, glancing at Ellie behind you.

“What else you got?”

“I’ll throw in a small med kit. Fully stocked.”

“Big med kit?”

“3 boxes of ammo and one large med kit, four bags.” You cross your arms, your mouth tugging at the corners as Ellie lets out a low whistle.

“Deal.” The seller sticks their hand out to you. You shake and exchange goods, happily chatting now that the bargaining is done.

“I’m going to look around. Find something for Dina and JJ.” Ellie tells you, putting two of the coffee bags in her backpack.

"Ok. Meet you at the hotel later." You watch as she wanders off, deciding you should see if there's anything Billy would like.

"You could visit your old friend in Jackson." You hear a man say.

"Shut up." A woman answers. You watch as they pass by, a shiver shooting up your spine. You watch as they stop to chat with the seller who sold you the coffee.

"Don't see many WLF's around here." The seller next to you comments.

"Did you catch their names?" You watch as they move to the next booth, no doubt they have at least one gun each.

"Believe he called her Abby."

Your heart thrums against your chest, blood coursing hot through your veins. You follow them into the dining area, taking a seat at the bar a few stools over from them.

"Travel far?" The bar keep asks.

"Ya." You and the man Abby's with answer.

"Oh, whoever traveled the furthest gets a free shot." He smiles, pouring one in-between you. You look over at the pair, Abby looks indifferent but the man she's with has a smile.

"Salt Lake." He grins.

"Got my beat. Idaho Falls." You lie. He claps his hands in victory, swiping the shot and throwing it back.

"Come on Abs, have a drink." He gestures for the bar tender to pour another round.

"Fine." She concedes. The conversation is pleasant, neither giving specific information. The man, who you learn is Owen, knocks back quite a few drinks until he's a dizzy mess.

"Where're you stayin'?" You laugh as Owen trips over his own feet on his way to the bathroom.

"Hotel up the way." She answers.

"Need help gettin' him there?" You grimace as he knocks into a group of women walking in.

"Probably be easier." She shakes her head, finishing off her drink. You both wait for Owen to return, each taking a side as you coax him back to the hotel. You help settle him into the bed, relived he's out cold.

"Hey thanks-" Abby turns to find your gun in her face.

"Out." You throw your head in the direction of the door. Her frown deepens but she does as you ask. You stay close, calmly waking her outside and into the line of trees that run behind the hotel. She could have easily taken you, she's built like a fuckin house, but you sense her curiosity must be getting the best of her.

As you step past an old shipping container you pick up a piece of pipe, shoving your gun back into your pocket.

"Do we know each-" You bash her on the back of the head knocking her to the floor. You whip your gun back out before her eyes have time to refocus on you.

"My name is (Y/N) Miller." You shoot her once in the shoulder, pushing her flat onto the floor.

"My husband is Joel Miller." You shoot her in her abdomen, but she tries to sit up anyways.

"And my daughter," You shoot her knee cap, causing her to yell out in pain, "is Ellie Williams." You take the pipe and shove it up her nose. A blood curdling grunt erupts from her throat, the ground around her turning crimson even in the dark. You wait to see if she'll try to get up, but she doesn't; you walk behind her head, squatting next to her,

"I'm the one who sniped you in Jackson." You nod. You can see her body tense and quickly back away as she tries to swat at you. "I would have gladly gone the rest of my life without having to think about that day ever again."

"FUCKING BITCH!" She screams through the waterfall of blood coming from her nose.

"What was it you told Joel?" You watch as she squirms, her wounds already betraying her. "You don't get to rush this."

_______

Where is she? Ellie glances inside the bar and around a few stores looking for you. She takes one more jog when she hears a gun shot ring through the trees. No one seems to be phased but something in the pit of her stomach is pushing her toward it.

A few more shots ring out and Ellie slows to a stop. The trees croak in the breeze, the silence settling over the forest like a fog. In the blink of an eye you're right in front of her, pushing her back toward the hotel.

"Baby, let's go." Your words are rushed, a hint of panic laced in them.

"Momma-"

"We're leavin. Now." You run the long way around the hotel, coming into town as if you had just come from one of the shops. You pace slows, your hand on her arm falling away.

"Momma what happened?" Ellie asks.

"Tell you when we get to our next stop." You whisper. You both quickly grab your horses and take off into the hills.

_______

"Have you ever killed someone?" Ellie frowns into her cup.

"Yes." You sigh. Your mind is still toying with the idea of going back for Owen, but you don't know what kind of life he has back home. Only that he wasn't thrilled with Abby's first adventure to Jackson.

"Like that?"

"No. Only out of necessity." You take a deep drink of your tea, hands still shaky from the encounter. After a few moments of silence from Ellie the doubt starts to creep in. Maybe I should have left them alone.

"Thank you." Ellie whispers. You eyes look up to meet hers, tears sitting at the edges of her soft green eyes.

"You're ok with what I did?" You whisper back.

"You did what Tommy and I couldn't. And you did it for Joel, for me, for Tommy… for Jesse." She sets her drink down and wraps her arms around you.

_______

"She does realize she's going to have to start comin' to us after this right?" Joel grunts as he settles into bed. You hum in agreement as you slide in next to him, arms wrapping tight around his middle.

"You ok darlin'?" He engulfs you in his arms, holding you close. You seemed a little off when you got back to town to help him and Billy load up everything the girls needed. He didn't pry, just in case it was something you wanted to wait to tell him.

"I did something I haven't done in a very long time." You voice sounds strange in your own ears, it's small and timid.

"You want to talk about it?"

"I killed her." You confess. You chest tightens as the words hang out in the open. You killed someone.

"Who?" Joel asks. You're not one to just shoot anyone. And everyone in this house and Jackson were just fine.

"Abby."

At that he sits up, shifting to his side so he can look at you. There's so many questions racing through his mind he's not sure where to start.

"She was at the market we went to. Everything told me to let it be..." You can feel the tears starting to collect in your throat as the panic of disappointing the love of you life starts to rise.

He presses his mouth to yours, kissing you long and deep until he feels your body relax. He can feel the tears from your eyes slide between the two of you, which he quickly kisses away.

"Told Tommy long time ago to keep an eye on you." He chuckles against your lips. He kisses you a few times before leaning back so he can look at you. "Just a god damn trouble maker when you're unsupervised." He smiles.

"You're not mad? Or disappointed?" You whisper.

"Darlin', I could never be mad at you for protectin' what's yours. But my ledger is far more red for far worse reasons." He gently caresses your frown line until his smooths back out. "Tommy will be extremely proud you’ve continued to live to the momma bear title.” He chuckles.

You scoff, rolling your eyes.

"Why does that not surprise me in the least." You laugh, bringing Joel's mouth back to yours.

"I love you Honeybunch."

"I love you darlin'."

[mrsdawg4908]

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers: 1988

The apparently comatose Michael Myers (George P. Wilbur) is being transferred from one hospital to another, but he wakes up when the ambulance crew talk about his surviving niece, Jamie (Danielle Harris). After slaughtering his attendants, Myers sets out to find his one living relative who is, fortunately, being cared for by a kind and resourceful foster sister named Rachel (Ellie Cornell). Meanwhile, the ever-cautious Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence) remains on the killer's path.

https://youtu.be/rfvBru3MKsg?si=ptQVs5bEQBuocZ2U

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers: 1989

After lying in a coma for a year, Michael Myers (Donald L. Shanks) awakens and stalks his way back to his small hometown in Illinois, intent on killing his niece, Jamie (Danielle Harris), who has been confined to a mental institution since Michael's last attempt to slay her. Suspecting a psychic link between Michael and Jamie, psychiatrist Dr. Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasence) joins forces with Sheriff Ben Meeker (Beau Starr) and attempts to stop Michael's latest rampage.

https://youtu.be/gvTjz_LXvPo?si=ERz7Hp0WiWdbMcOf

https://youtu.be/JI_-Wo-s2V8?si=PksoKuSxMFP2LDun

[bye-bye-firefly]

Okie! I’m going to try to think of a request! I once again do not know what this request shall be. I’m going to look through some of your notes for ideas.

Alright, maybe for the purposes of making characters filled with Sleep Deprivation, (because I’ve found that I really like how you write sleepiness, promise next time I’ll try to ask for something different!) there could be a sleepover. And there can be Miu with all her little inventions and one sec. Gonna look at that one poll thingy with the tables.

Found it! There could be Kokichi and Kiibo too. And they have a lot of those cool candles with really obscure names there for some reason? Maybe they just bought them or made them or maybe they’re just There and no one knows why. I dunno??

Also I think it should be noted that I went and googled stuff about the late 2000s and I found out cereal straws are a thing??? Like straws that you eat??? I did not know about this. It was very shocking. The cocoa krispies ones kinda look like those chocolatey stick things that have soft chocolate insides, can’t remember what they’re called, and it made me really crave those.

Anyway, I think that’s it! Sleepover ft. Candles. If it doesn’t seem fun, feel free not to write it. Not like there’s much of a point if there’s no enjoyment being gained! Also, are there like any things in particular that you’ve been interested in writing about? I’ve already asked about your favorite things but like I wanted to ask more questions about stuff you like.

(Btw, thank you for the reassurances that you wouldn’t yell at me, it did actually make me feel better!)

nothing is really hitting me right now regarding how to go with this idea but maybe it'll hit me later. for right now i dont think ill go with it BUT im glad you asked anyway! its always good to ask ^_^ plus i might return to it and make a version of it

and stuff ive been interested in writing...well as always sleep deprivation and eventual sleep (which is basically hurt/comfort which is WHYYY hurt/comfort is my favourite trope. this threw my friends for a loop when we did like a friend quiz for funsies but to be so fair to them i did include sleepy boys as an option which i threw in as a trick answer) but also i just love horror. i like writing unsettling shit yo which is why in recent years all ive been writing is horror. but even in my early days as a fic writer i was writing horror like propaganda is a drama and a horror fic but its not really psychological and its not as overbearing as some of my newer work (some of which is also. not published yet...)

other stuff . other stuff i like to write. trying desperately to remember all the things i like to write. uh. illness. sick fics are good. its why i had like multiple chapters in nameless have either kokichi or shuichi be sick

okay heres the thing is im obsessed with a few concepts and im going to just ramble under the cut about those things and these are things that like form everything i write and create and think about and how i see the world OKAY? okay

so the first thing has to do with tlou1 and it kind of goes hand in hand with the illness but only KIND OF. so you know that joel gets hurt and then goes into a bit of a Coma while he recovers but i dont give a shit about that i care about ONE THING. joel gets hurt right. ellie pulls him up. and hes STILL fighting. hes STILL pushing himself for HER. and she is this little kid and she can barely hold her own but shes gonna fucking try so you have joel stumbling through while hes losing blood and. theres this one part. if you remember this. where joel stumbles and almost falls over and ellie goes, "here, lean on me." and he goes "No." and she goes "well can you walk?" and he goes "Yes!" and shes like "then fucking walk!" and she lets him walk even though he can barely walk in a straight line let alone stand up because they respect and trust each other but she is still obviously scared that shes about to lose him and hes scared that hes about to lose her and i love that bit of the game so much. the way joel is barely able to move and do anything and therefore you as the player are barely able to do anything to help ellie and you feel so helpless and she can STILL hold her own and you are STILL a team and you are FIGHTING so FUCKING HARD and youre NEARLY THERE!!! and joel ONLY lets go when they are safe. he only falls over when he knows they are safe. he physically cannot go on any longer even though he wants to. THAT is a scene and concept ive written privately for like my own characters and even for nameless though that scene was never popped into the story. i like seeing gravely injured characters fight so hard for the people they care about, and then i love being able to see the people they fought hard for scared that they might not make it. theres so much care and devotion and LOYALTY in that and i love using it for like parent-child duos or even ships like. the Versatility. this is everything to me. and like. who WOULDNT do that for someone they care about? who WOULDNT risk their life to save someone they love? who WOULDNT hold on for a little longer for them?

okay next thing. this is something that comes from tlou2 which i dont believe youve actually seen because penny hasnt played it completely . ..? i think ? ? i havent caught up with the streams...but anyway im gonna talk in vague terms about this but basically. ive talked about this in a note before i know i have. but theres this whole long conversation between joel and ellie that ends with ellie being like "i shouldve died in that hospital. my life wouldve fucking MATTERED." and joel tells her, "if god gave me a second chance in that moment...i would do it ALL again." and when you go through tlou2 you know just what that means. its all the pain. and despite everything, he would do it again and he says this to her face when she is at her angriest, her most bitter, and she says. and this has ALWAYS made me cry and im like tearing up thinking about it she says "i dont know if i can forgive you for that. but...i would like to try." and ever since i saw that scene i can say for certain that has like changed me fundamentally like this has shaped me and tlou1 has shaped me. its just. god. GOD!!! I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT. BUT...I WOULD LIKE TO TRY. DO YOU GET IT??? im loinsg it im losing my MIND its the love its the capacity for forgiveness for something that to you is only unforgivable and THATS what tlou2 is about as well people may tell you its the revenge is bad game but its ALWAYS about forgiveness and they dont get it like i do and its tragic and at the same time provides closure and its bittersweet and its that bittersweetness that i love and i love writing scenes and stories that are essentially just i dont know if i could ever forgive you for that, but i would like to try. we hurt each other so much and so often we hurt the people we love unintentionally and its so hard to forgive and sometimes it takes a long time to get to the point where we can. and sometimes we cant forgive. sometimes we never get to that point. but i think its beautiful to try for someone you love too much to lose. i think its really beautiful.

and finally. this goes kind of hand in hand with everything ive written here. im just fixated on the idea of fighting through people or something destructive right like this person is fighting so hard through something covered in blood or muck and the dust settles and theyre shaky and they see the person they were fighting so hard for and they just relax and gather them up in their arms and its the knowledge that theyre okay, its okay............not having to fight anymore is what its all about at the end of the day. and that also leads to eepies

but at the end of the day its all about love really. everything adds up to effort and love