#Even if I'm still grieving and sad and frustrated | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fallinforerling · 2 years

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LOVE ISN’T ETERNAL. chapter 4 - jb

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s masterlist

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s taglist

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

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The weekend arrived without any nasty surprises, which was very much appreciated. Jobe was still a bit bitter towards Jude for all the lies he told the family, but you convinced him to not pick any fights with his brother. Jude didn't deserve it, but you still cared about his family dynamic staying the same regardless of how he managed the breakup and everything that came after it.

Now you were laying in bed, not having the energy to do much. It's not like you were allowing yourself to be consumed by the grief or sadness (which you still felt), but you were a bit apathetic. Luckily, Nikki and Mia were coming over to help you with that.

“I want this to end.” You whispered after a while, wanting to say something to fill up the silence in your apartment.

Because you truly wanted to get over him. Why bother grieving him? He has been partying and probably sleeping with girls every night since his arrival to London. And what were you doing? Missing him? Wishing he’d call? Having insomnia?

“Fucking prick.” At least insulting him was good therapy.

Before you could enter the space of mind where all you did was hate him and his existence, your phone started to ring. The only connection to the outside world this past week and a half was that little device.

Nikki was calling.

“Yeah?”

“Check my chat, girl. This is fucking insane. Go! We're almost there!” And then she hung up.

“What's up with Nikk and hanging up after saying things like that?” You laughed, expecting something funny or a photo of them. But no, it was a Twitter thread. When you clicked it, you almost had a heart attack.

“The fuck is this?!” You screamed.

The author of the thread simply wrote: “Jobe's new girlfriend???? I'm so jealous, who is sheeee???” followed with four photos per tweet. They were from the park meeting just a few days ago. There were photos of you hugging, when you were sitting together and when you started to leave the park.

At least it wasn't going viral, but there still were lots of people interacting with it. They were trying to guess who you were and for how long you two have been “dating”. A nightmare.

This had never happened in the ten months you dated Jude, mostly because privacy was important to him... And now you were mistaken for his little brother’s girlfriend? You felt like having a panic attack, but your front door opened and closed loudly, interrupting your thoughts.

“Did you see it?” Mia said, entering your bedroom after a few seconds.

“How did you find it?”

“Oh, you know I love gossip. I was digging for some information and I came across it. Did you see the date? Someone posted it three days ago.” Nikki sat next to you, biting her lip.

“Yeah…” Your brain started to analyze how it happened… Who took the photos without you noticing? The park was almost empty the whole time. Unless… “Fuck… I know who took those photos.”

“Who?” Mia asked with apprehension. “Someone we know?”

“No, far from it” With a sigh, you sat. “We met at a park near here. I've always liked that place because most of the time is empty… But that day I spotted a group of girls near us; I didn’t even payed them attention, they were far enough to not eavesdrop.” You covered your eyes, feeling frustrated. “They were teenagers, so of course they took the opportunity when they recognized him.”

“Yikes, girl… Someone’s going to cancel you for dating a minor.” Nikki joked, winning a very small smile from Mia and you.

“That’s not funny, my god.They probably will if they ever find who I am and my age.” You sighed, absolutely sick with the path your life was taking. “Why can’t I have one day of peace, huh? Life sucks.”

“Of course it sucks, that’s the main thing about living,” Mia said, sitting in your bed. “Well, let’s pray for that threat to die soon enough. You know how people are, they’re probably hunting for the next big gossip of the week.”

“Yeah…” You grabbed your phone again, thinking about your next move. “I probably should send this to Jobe as well, I don’t want him to be taken by surprise if people begin asking about this.” A tiny smile peaked between your lips. “And let’s hope the girl he likes doesn’t find it either.”

“Do you know what else you need to start doing?” Nikki said while you send the link to Jobe, who started to laugh about the ridiculous assumption those girls made about you.

“What?” You asked without paying much attention, smiling a bit when Jobe started to call himself Mr. Steal Your Girl.

“Being a soulless, heartless, and cold girl for once. What about some clubbing, some fun… Some boys?”

“You’re like the devil on her shoulder, Nikk,” Mia said, nudging Nikki’s arm. “But I agree, you need some fun. We forbid you from staying at home, drowning in your sadness. That boy doesn’t deserve it.”

“Not one bit,” Nikki replied, hugging you. “I promise it will be super fun, just go out with us tonight.”

Instead of responding, you took a look at the ground. There it is. You knew them too well, there was no way for them to “casually” suggest a night out; they had a plan. Their bags were on the floor, but you noticed a small bag that Nikki only took out of her house if she was planning to party: her makeup bag, which was essential if she was going out clubbing.

“Are you trying to persuade me into partying tonight?” You smiled, not even mad at the idea.

“Maybe?” Both of them said, trying to look as innocent as possible.

The three of you looked at each other with big smiles before laughing.

“We’re going out tonight!” Mia screamed, gaining more laughs from Nikki and you.

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The fun part about going out with Mia and Nikki was the part previous to the actual clubbing. There just was something magical about getting ready with them: the makeup with the collaboration of everybody, constantly changing outfits, Nikki persuading both of you to drink a little bit for good luck and Mia insisting that all of you needed smoky eyes, so guys felt intimidated. Most of it was nonsense, but they were your best friends in the whole world and you always felt extremely thankful for their support.

“Promise me you’re going to at least try dancing with the hottest guy that approaches you tonight.” Mia said while doing your smoky eyes (yeah, you gave in).

“I’ll try.” And you will because it wasn’t fair for you to stay in your comfort zone. If this whole thing didn’t cheer you up or make you feel better, then you could always find other ways to keep your mind occupied.

“That’s more than enough for me. Try to have fun, this is a girl’s night.”

“And talking about girls. Put this dress on, the girls look stunning in it.” Nikki dropped a black dress on your lap.

“No way!” You lifted it with a smile. “I completely forgot about this dress. I haven’t worn it since…” You paused, feeling uncomfortable. “Uh, Jude’s birthday.”

“Well, who cares about that? You still look amazing.” Nikki smiled, obviously not about to let you think much about Jude.

“Done!” Mia said after a few seconds, biting her lip. “This is my best work so far.” Her eyes were sparkling, so you believed her.

Facing yourself in the mirror, you almost didn’t recognize the face that was looking back at you. You looked amazing; the color of your eyes popped, the glitter was doing the right job of not making it look too dark and the red lipstick was the final touch. You loved it.

“That’s the face of a heartbreaker, girl.” Nikki admired your face for an instant before smiling. “Ah, I can’t wait for the boys to fight over you.”

“Very funny, Nikk.”

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The club Nikki choose was wild, especially since a manager was waiting for you at the door, guiding you to the balcony section of the club- which was the freaking VIP one.

“Nikk?” You half-screamed through the music, dying to know how she managed to pull this off. Mia seemed as confused as you were. “Anything you want to tell us?”

“About what?” She kept walking with the biggest of smiles.

“Uh… Us getting into the VIP section wiht no even five minutes of being here?”

“Oh, that?” Her smile grew bigger, if that was physically possible. “I know someone.”

Clearly, that was all the information you were getting. Mia gave you a look and the both of you silently decided that it was better if you didn’t dig into it.

“Tonight it’s about having fun, girls. My treat, don’t worry.” Nikki said once you were at the table, which already had a champagne bottle resting comfortably on an ice bucket. Three champagne glasses were next to it, patiently waiting for you.

“Oh, so this is luxury, luxury.” Mia whispered, laughing a bit.

“The fun it’s all that matters, trust me, Mia.” A waiter appeared out of nowhere, silently grabbing the bottle before smiling at all of you.

“Welcome, ladies. May I open it now?” You nodded, and with one quick movement of his wrist, he had the job done. Impressive. “Hope you have a good night. Don’t forget you can always call a waiter with the button that’s underneath the table.” And then he was gone.

“You were right, Mia. This is luxury luxury.” You accepted the glass Nikki offered you, excited for the night ahead.

“Let’s enjoy it without actually wondering how much all this is, babe.” Was all she said before chugging her glass in one sitting. “I’m ready, give me another one.”

“That’s what I’m talking about!" Nikki cheered, happy to see Mia engaged with tonight’s mission.

“Come on, you need to chug that thing too, there’s more in here.” Nikki told you, already serving Mia’s second glass.

“Fuck it.” You said before doing as Nikki said, chugging your champagne as carefully as possible so you didn’t choke. “If I end up vomiting all over the floor at the end of the night, I want you to know, I’m blaming you.”

“That’s fine to me!” And then Nikki chugged her glass as well.

Yeah, this night was going to be hella interesting.

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Needless to say that within two hours of clubbing you were pretty drunk. Not to the point of falling when trying to walk because the world was spinning or to the verge of unconsciousness, but a good point between being able to not care if something ridiculous escaped your mouth and dancing with strangers without giving it a second thought.

Nikki had found some friends along the night, and now three more people, which were the nicest ever, were sitting at your table, chatting and laughing along. You enjoyed the their company, but felt the need to give yourself space to drink a very much needed glass of water in peace.

So there you were, leaning against one of the multiple spaces in the balcony where little chairs were dispersed. It felt almost peaceful if you ignored the music blasting through the speakers or the many waiters going around the place, dealing with drunks and orders.

“No way! Is that you?” A voice startled you, taking your mind away from the blankness it was immersed in. “I knew I wasn’t mistaking that face!”

You turned, slightly pissed at the person that was basically yelling at you, until you realized it was Gio. Gio Reyna himself.

“Gio?!” You didn’t know why, but the excitement made you scream. Maybe it was because you were drunk, but seeing Gio was one of the highlights of the night. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I’m taking the few days off I have.” He hugged you tightly once you stood up, almost swiping you from the floor. “You look amazing! What are you doing here?”

“Thanks! I’m with my friends, they’re right there!” You pointed to the table, where all kept chatting without noticing your encounter. “It’s a girl’s night!”

“That’s cool! I thought you were with Jude, since he’s at London and all that.”

Your smile never wandered from your face, not caring about Jude’s name being dropped from Gio’s lips. You shook your head, letting him know you weren’t with him today. Or ever, for that matter.

“Nope, just my girls and I.” He kept looking at you like he was in front of a new person, not Jude’s “girlfriend”. You didn’t know if you liked it or felt bad about it. He was one of Jude’s good friends after all. “What about taking a picture? It’s been so long since we saw each other.”

“Sure! Are you okay if I post it to IG?”

Oh?

“Of course, go for it.”

Then the two of you moved to a more illuminated area, he took his phone and you knew this was one of a kind type of opportunity. Time to be the pettiest bitch I know. Taking advantage of him getting closer to you for the sake of the photo, you passed one arm over his shoulders, and after a couple of pics, you decided to give him a tiny peck on the cheek.

“Let's see.” He said shyly. Aw.

A few of them were blurry, but most were decent and the peck one was fabulous, not only for the sake of your intentions, but also because of how good the two of you looked. Your makeup was still intact, and with the lighting, it shined in a very pretty way. Gio had a light blush due to the alcohol, his smile being evident, giving his already handsome face something else.

“That one?” You said, picking the one you liked the most.

“Yeah! We look amazing.” He started to set it but paused before publishing it. “Do you mind if I tag you?”

Bingo.

“Go ahead, I have no problem.” And that was it.

You said your goodbyes, and while returning to the table, you felt some type of triumph. Did this make you a bad person?

“Where were you? We thought you got lost or something.” Mia said when you finally arrived, sitting beside Nikki.

“So… I did a thing…”

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atopvisenyashill · 9 months

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Killing Jaehaera off was completely unnecessary and it would've been better if she was the mother of Aegon III's kids.

I personally would have loved it he had married Jaehaera and Daenaera because I think there's room in the narrative for both girls.

I think the reason George changed it (besides getting invested in the Velaryons as he wrote out the backstory) was because he wanted some sort of commentary on the lasting legacy of the Dance - Aegon usurps his sister and kicks off a whole violent war for the throne, only for his line to end with a mad little girl, and then die off completely. Rhaenyra lets revenge color her actions during the war and adds to the death, misery, and escalation of violence all so her line can descend from her only for the history books to record that they descend from Daemon, and there’s nothing Aegon III can do to change it. In a way, despite everything, the lines of both Rhaenyra and Aegon end with them. This war that claimed the lives of their children, their lovers, their families, was completely fruitless and useless; all that's left at the end is orphans, and history books that will call Aegon and Rhaenyra both usurpers. It's very sad commentary, for sure, but I get why it was so important to George to kill Jaehaera off (to a certain extent). It's just he did it in the most George way possible lmao and it doesn't hit the way I think he intended it to.

But it could have! Which is so frustrating! He could have 100% had them both in the narrative easily - just have Daenaera be a lady of the court and a friend of Jaehaera's! Jaehaera can take in Daenaera as a lady to help smooth things over with that branch of the Velaryons (who are probably still pissed off because Alyn is a bastard and everyone in Westeros hates Baela for doing #HotGirlShit). Jaehaera is mother to Daeron, Baelor, and Daena, and kills herself/is murdered right after Daena is born. I think having a daughter of her own is an interesting trigger for her trauma - like, your husband having the same cursed name as your father who died miserable and alone, with only you for family, and then watching your husband hold your first daughter? More than enough to trigger an episode, and leave it vague as whether she threw herself onto the spikes or someone simply took advantage of her being scared and alone & pushed her.

Maiden’s Day happens and there's a lot of nerves because the last time the King got remarried, the Dance happened. Different circumstances because Aegon has two sons, to be sure, but I'm positive half the realm is thinking "what if he chooses wrong and we get another Otto Hightower." Baela and Rhaena present Aegon’s new bride, then point to the beautiful but quiet, also grieving Daenaera Velaryon, and Aegon just accepts it because he knows Daenaera won’t oppose Jaehaera’s children (they were friends, also Daenaera is now scarred by the violence of Jaehaera’s death). Daenaera is as uninterested in him as he is in her; the twins present a way for him to remarry without forcing him out of his comfort zone (which neither Aegon nor Jaehaera ever liked to be) while backing Daenaera into an offer she can’t refuse. Continuing on the use of traumatized women as pawns, the twins clawing for their own power and relevancy as the Regents, Small Council, and now even Aegon’s sons steal it away from them, a move that is as “girlboss” esque for them as it horrifying for Daenaera. This way, you still get the Blackfyres descending from Jaehaera (and the Greens), you get the Velaryons in there more, you get Maiden's Day and Daenaera.

I think this scenario - where Jaehaera is mother to Daena and the Blackfyres, and Daenaera to the two youngest girls - doesn't make a huge difference in the grand plan, BUT it does make some things more interesting. It adds a really interesting echo from Viserys I and Rhaenyra’s children to Aegon’s - how easily these bonds between half siblings can be turned sour if only their lives are just a bit different. Daena, daughter of Jaehaera, falling to the generational Targaryen curses of dying young, of accidentally kicking off a succession crisis simply because she desired sexual agency. Elaena, daughter of Daenaera, escaping these curses through her politicking, her skill, siding against the nephew she adores and helped raise to try to escape Daena and Jaehaera’s fates. Not to mention having Aegon II’s line end with his daughter, then morph into the usurping Blackfyres is a great narrative choice!

It’s all right there!! The themes!!! It all goes back and back, this family enacting continent destroying violence against each other all for the privilege of sitting on that ugly, spiky chair. But no we get Daenaera the hot six year old instead. SmFh.

#asks #fire and blood critical #grrm critical #jaehaera targaryen #daenaera velaryon #in my mind daenaera is reclusive and pious and a lesbian which is why aegon liked her. doesn't talk preferred jaehaera to him. like.#sure i'll marry the glorified nanny my sisters got me why not. at least she already likes my kids.#naerys turns to the seven because its what daenaera taught her. 'if you need to go away in your mind picture the sept and pray.'

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doumadono · 1 year

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I apologise if this doesn't qualify for emergency requests.

Someone who I was close to passed away this week and its been difficult. I've barely been able to eat or sleep from stress. I'm wondering if I could request how Hantengus clones would deal with a AFAB partner going through this?

Thank you for your time, you're amazing for doing these requests

Hantengu Clones & grieving AFAB reader - headcanons

A/N: hello, dear Nonnie. I hope you're finding some comfort today, as much as you can during this difficult time. Please remember to allow yourself the necessary time to grieve. Don't rush through the process, instead, embrace the sorrow and give yourself the space and time you need to heal. Be gentle and kind to yourself throughout this journey of healing

MASTERLIST

Aizetsu's sorrowful nature is evident as he shares a profound emotional connection with them. When he witnesses their tears, he doesn't shy away; instead, he's ready to shed tears alongside them, demonstrating his deep understanding of their sorrow. Entering your room, he gently offers his presence to console them during their mourning period. Employing his sensitive side, he knows precisely what they need – a warm and comforting embrace. Drawing them close to his chest, he provides a safe space for them to let out your emotions, showing them that it's okay to express vulnerability and find solace in his presence.

Sekido's past actions have left him emotionally detached and struggling to comprehend the depth of human emotions. He finds it challenging to empathize with his them who are going through such a difficult time. When he observes their sadness, he becomes confused and frustrated. However, Sekido's attempts to connect with his significant other's emotions prove futile, and he finds himself growing angrier and resentful towards their feelings. He doesn't comprehend why their sorrow affects them so profoundly and reacts with frustration, even throwing tantrums due to his difficulty comprehending their human nature and emotions. While he might offer physical comfort, his inability to truly understand and empathize poses a significant challenge in providing the emotional support his significant other needs during this difficult time.

Karaku's understanding of grief enables him to provide genuine support to his significant other during their difficult time. He willingly offers to be a listening ear and a comforting presence whenever they need to reminisce or simply cry on his shoulder. Seeing them in pain pains him as well, so he strives to uplift their spirits and bring a smile to their face. Karaku, aware of the weight of grief his significant other carries, makes it his mission to bring moments of pleasure and distraction into their life. Understanding the importance of finding joy amidst sorrow, he plans thoughtful surprises and activities that allow them to momentarily escape from their pain. He understands that the pain may never completely vanish, but he believes that with time, they will find a way to cope and carry on.

Urogi prvides a safe and welcoming space where they can seek refuge during their difficult time. Understanding the healing power of joy, he gives them the freedom to choose anything they enjoy, wanting to see them smile even for a brief moment. Urogi's awkward yet heartfelt hugs and encouraging words serve as a reminder that they are not alone in their journey of healing. He reassures them that things will eventually get better, offering unwavering support and understanding. Urogi becomes a source of strength and light for his significant other during the dark days of grief. Through the simple act of sharing joy and laughter, he shows his significant other that happiness is still within reach, even amidst their sorrow.

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seenoversundown · 3 months

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For Death Or Glory : Chapter Six

Jake Kiszka x Charlotte (Fem OC)

Warnings: It's still Sad hours folks, Mentions of Grief, Mild Anxiety, Some Self Deprecation / Negative Self Talk, AND THEN some Fluff, Cute Banter, Dry Humor, and the biggest warning of all: Pirate Facts (don't forget who we're talking to here)

Word Count : 3.5k

Summary : Charlotte is still processing the prior day's events and struggling to deal with her grief coupled with the fact she let a "stranger" see her upset. Unfortunately, things have to get worse before they get better, but she is well on her way to better.

Author's Note: HEHE ANOTHER ONE. Okay really though, I know we've been having sad chapters and I want you to get to good stuff so I figured since this is the last sad chapter for a bit AND she's a little shorter than the next handful, I may as well let you have her early. We start off a bit rough, but it only gets better as you read! PROMISE.

Honest - Joseph "There's always two thoughts, One after the other, I'm alone, No, you're not."

I’ve been sitting in bed since I got home last night, recounting everything. A full-blown meltdown, Charlotte? You really couldn’t choke it back for a little longer? I have never been good at letting people in. I tend to keep everybody at arms’ reach, which is why I now have… basically, no friends.

I don’t know how I got here; that’s a lie. I am too intense. I work too much. I care too much about my work. I could stand to relax a little more. Okay, let’s not talk ourselves into a spiral now; it’s too early in the morning.

It’s 7 a.m., and I’ve barely slept. I force myself out of bed. I just need coffee. Stretching as I walk into my kitchen, I set up my coffee pot and lean against the counter, rubbing my eyes to rid the sleep left on them. He was so sweet about it, too. He didn’t even hesitate. Taking a deep breath , I shake my head as if that would get rid of the thoughts.

I pour some coffee into my favorite mug, take the first sip, and feel the warmth go through my body. ‘Oh, Honey’ rings in my head. Does he just give everybody pet names? Finding myself on my couch, my laptop sitting next to me, taunting me with the option to work. I know I should take the day off with how little sleep I got, but I would also rather stay busy.

I could just check my emails.

Maybe I’ll just work for a few hours.

It couldn’t hurt to just clock in.

I’m pushing open my laptop, frustrated because I know I’ve lost the battle with myself again. I immediately pull up my emails, seeing a handful from the last few days that I haven’t answered.

It’s a lot of easy work, which is good because, well, I shouldn’t be working right now. I spend a while replying to everything in my inbox, including an email to my boss. I sip my coffee between emails, trying to stay focused on work but finding my mind wandering.

I would have been fine if he didn’t acknowledge that I looked sad. I could have gotten through that situation so much better. Why did he have to notice? I pause my thoughts, realizing how insensitive they seem. You’re grieving, Charlotte. Jesus Christ, give yourself some grace. You’re GOING to be sad. He was just good at handling that. I still can’t wrap my head around how quickly he reacted. Most men I’ve met probably wouldn’t have even realized something was wrong, let alone make sure I could privately have a moment.

My throat starts to tighten again, and my chest feels heavy; I wish I could tell her about this. She would have been so shocked to hear that I let someone help me. My eyes start to get blurry. Oh, not again. I sit there, letting the tears fall down my face.

“Fuck,” I mutter to my empty apartment.

I rub my eyes, probably harder than I should, before making a second cup of coffee. Breathing shakily as I pour, text him. No. You need a friend, Charlotte. I don’t even know him, aside from his business. He said to let him know if you need anything, and you do kind of need something right now. I do not, I’m fine. Then why are you still crying?

Sitting on my couch, I grab my phone and pull up his messages. Just text him.

I struggle to type anything out for a moment, wiping my face a few times before finally settling on something simple.

Charlotte: hi goodmorning

I lock my screen quickly, setting my phone next to me, face down. Why did I do that? It’ll be fine. Just let him respond.

Back to work, I open an email from my boss;

‘Charlotte, Why are you working today? I thought you took the day off? Regardless, how did everything go in Portland? Did you get the paperwork handled with Caravel Tavern? I’m hoping for your sake that the owner was pleasant and just filled it out for you. It’s an unfortunate situation that you had to go there, but much appreciated that you were able to stop by and get that taken care of.’

My boss and I have been working together for a while, so I’d like to think that he isn’t being disingenuous with that email, but the fact he knows the ultimate reason I went to Portland and only seemingly touched on the work part is making my stomach hurt. Does everybody think that I’m emotionless? I went there to mourn my friend, and he was worried about how my work went. I feel the tears pricking at my eyes again. This time, I don’t fight them. Setting my laptop to the side, I take a few sips of coffee, wiping my eyes in between.

My phone vibrates beneath my leg. Is it.. Grabbing it nervously, I flip it over, letting the screen turn on. There, his name sits on my lock screen.

Jacob: Well goodmorning, how are you feeling?

Not great. My stomach turns reading the question over and over. Why does he care?

Charlotte: I’ve been better, honestly. How are you?

Why did you say that? He literally saw me cry yesterday. I think he’d be more shocked if I said I was feeling great.

Jacob: oh i’m sorry, can I do anything to help?

No. Just tell him you need a friend, especially right now. We have worked together, I can’t do that. I’m above him, technically. Charlotte, chill out. You’re not co-workers. You can be friends with him.

Charlotte: I don’t know. I’m just having a rough morning and I didn’t know who else to text.

You don’t have anybody you would text anyway. This happens when you don’t keep in touch with your friends.

Jacob: Do you want to talk about whats wrong or I can just try to distract you?

He’s so.. Don’t tell him.

Charlotte: I think a distraction is needed

I’m immediately curious how he’s going to be distracting through text. He’s distracting enough in person. Charlotte. I’m sorry, but it’s no secret.

Jacob: In that case, how much do you know about the golden age of piracy?

Charlotte: lol I do actually know a little bit, but go on.

Jacob: Do you?? Well then, my personal favorites are Anne Bonny and Blackbeard is an obvious choice but.. I dont even care haha hes great.

A smile crept onto my face when I read his reply. Why is it so wholesome that one of his favorites is a woman pirate? He’s probably just saying it.

Charlotte: You like Anne Bonny?

It’s marked as read immediately, and the typing bubbles pop up almost instantly.

Jacob: She was incredible! And she never was found?? That’s insane. You have to respect it.

Charlotte: She really was incredible. I know a little about Blackbeard but, you can tell me about him.

Charlotte: If you want obviously, you don’t have to.

Phone in hand, I walk into my bathroom and turn the shower on before facing the mirror. My eyes are puffy, and my hair is everywhere. God, Charlotte, get it together, girl. I set my phone on the counter, leaning in to look at myself closer. Seeing how dark my under eyes are and how irritated my waterline is from rubbing at them. I look down at the counter, feeling the tears coming back. Softly shutting my eyes to force the tears out.

“For the love of god,” I whisper to myself.

Undressing myself and stepping into the shower, I stand with my face in the water. Feeling the warmth surrounding me, it feels safe. Once the water has completely soaked my hair, I sit on the tub floor, holding my knees close to me, letting the hot water beat against my back. You’re allowed to be sad, Charlotte. Tears freely fall down my face. I hate this.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Carefully squeezing the water out of my hair and clipping it out of my way, I pull on a comfortable sweatshirt and leggings. I quickly rub some moisturizer into my face, grab my phone, and head back to the couch. I sink back into my spot, pull my throw blanket back over me, and slouch down into the corner.

I pull my phone out and see a handful of texts from Jacob sitting there.

Jacob: Welllll.. Supposedly his actual name was Edward Teach .. or Thatch.. Nobody really has confirmation because Pirates didn’t always use their real surnames to not spoil the family name.

Jacob: He obviously was the owner of Queen Anne’s Revenge, but it was originally a French Slave ship named La Concorde that he managed to capture.

Jacob: When he died, they beheaded him and put his head on a STAKE at the entrance to Chesapeake Bay!

Jacob: Are you okay? Is this annoying?

Why do I want to cry? Well, nobody else is checking on you.

Charlotte: No, you’re not annoying me. I showered, I should have let you know. I’m sorry.

Rubbing my eyes until I see TV static and taking long breaths seem to be the only thing calming me down. Nobody taught me how to handle waves of grief. My stomach turns at the thought.

Jacob: dont be sorry, its okay.

Charlotte: Are you actually working right now.. by any chance?

What are you doing? I don’t want to be alone right now.

Letting out a deep breath, trying to unclench my jaw, it’s hard to relax.

Jacob: I don’t have to be.

My hands tremble as I click on his name and promptly click on the ‘call’ button. Please pick up.

“Hey,” he says quietly, “what’s going on?”

“Hi,” I whisper. My throat immediately gets tight, and my lips shake.” Um,” I say, taking another long breath.

“Oh,” he whispers, “hang on.” I can hear the music from the bar slowly fade before the click of the door shut.

“Are you okay?”

“No,” I whimper softly, “I can’t stop crying, and I’m nauseous, and I just don’t want to feel alone.”

Oh, that was a lot.

“Hey, hey, slow down,” his voice is calm. “I’ll stay on the phone with you; just take a little breath for me, okay?”

In through your nose, out through the mouth.

“You don’t have to tell me what’s going on if you don’t want to, but I hate that you’re so upset,” his voice getting a bit softer.

“I don’t think I can say it out loud yet,” I confess, “It’s just- I’m sorry, it’s too much, and I-”

My breathing picks up again, and I can feel my heart pounding. This was a good idea, wasn’t it?

“Honey, it’s okay,” he says, there’s that name again. “You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to. We can talk about anything else.”

Breathe Charlotte. Closing my eyes, more tears fall, but my breathing slows.

“What have you done today?” he asks.

“Um, I took a shower and answered some emails,” my voice still struggling to stabilize.

“You were working?”

“I thought it would help distract me, but it sort of made everything worse,” I said, sounding defeated.

His soft laugh is almost enough to make me smile, “Have you eaten today?” he continues the light interrogation.

“No, I’ve only had coffee,” I tell him.

“Why don’t you make yourself something to eat?” His tone is still very calm; he really is good at this, “Maybe sleep a little if you can.”

He’s right. I probably should eat something, at least.

“I definitely feel like I could use a nap,” I let out a sad giggle, wiping my eyes for the millionth time.

“Do you want me to stay on the phone with you for a little bit?”

My chest feels weird when he asks that.

“If you don’t mind..” my voice was small, not wanting to be a pain.

“I don’t mind one bit.”

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I stroll into my kitchen, open the cabinets, and stare into them.

“What should I eat?” I question out loud.

“Food is probably your best bet,” he answers dryly, and I swear I can hear the smirk on his face.

“Incredibly helpful, thank you.”

His giggle rings through my ears, and I can feel the tug on the corners of my mouth. His laugh is cute. Reaching into the cabinet and pulling out my bag of pretzel crisps.

“What’s the verdict?”

“Just some pretzels,” I mumble, knowing it’s not much. But I’m also not starving.

“Lunch of Olympians, Charlotte.”

This time, it’s my laugh radiating through the phone. Oh. I bring my hand up to cover my mouth once I realize it.

“That might be the first time I’ve done anything other than cry today.”

“Happy to help, m’lady.”

I giggle at the mild English accent that snuck out, “I think if you learn much more, you’re gonna become a pirate.”

“That isn’t a threat to me like you probably think it is,” he says.

“Have to start calling you Captain Jake Sparrow,”

He clears his throat before letting out a weak “Yeah,” followed by an uncomfortable laugh.

“Um, so,” he starts, “what’s something that you enjoy too much? Since you’re so graciously laughing about mine.”

Working. You like other things, Charlotte. But working is the most satisfying. Baking.. Reading.. Hello?

“I read a lot,” I blurt out, realizing I was in my head, “and I like to bake.” My hand covers my face as I tell him because I definitely sounded like I just pulled it out of my ass.

“Oh! I read a fair bit myself; what are you reading?”

Fuck. Yeah, go ahead and tell him what you read.

I scan the book on my coffee table; it’s just another contemporary romance novel. I like to alternate more non-fiction things with some romance because I’m not a robot. I have a soft spot for sweet stories. Something about effortlessly falling in love or watching two characters pine over each other for a good majority of the book before allowing themselves to act on it.

“Uhhh…” I stammer over myself. “I don’t know if you’d know it.” I can feel the heat rise into my cheeks as he breathes through the phone, waiting for me to elaborate. Slumping down into the corner of the couch.

“What genre?”

“It’s uh.. a contemporary romance..” I whisper quickly. Look, there’s nothing wrong with romance novels, but with how I have learned to present myself while I’m working, it feels a bit silly to admit.

“Ooohhhhh,” he taunts. “Are you secretly a little hopeless romantic, Red?”

“I am just a girl, Jacob. You asked the question.” I giggle at the nickname and the fact he’s calling me out so quickly. Scooting myself down further, so I’m practically lying down.

“Alright, alright, fair enough,” he laughs, “I read a lot of historical things, as you can imagine. So, consider me boring.”

“You are far from boring,” I tell him, not meaning to have it come off like it probably did.

“I think my brothers would beg to differ,” he sighs.

“I’m almost positive that’s just a sibling thing that they’re required to do,” I readjust my arm underneath my pillow, switching my phone to speaker and setting it next to me, “But also, maybe I just don’t think pirates are boring. Who’s to say?”

“Hey Jake, can I bother you?” I hear faintly in the background, “Yeah, what’s up?”

“Hang on for a second?” he asks quietly.

“I’ll be here.”

I close my eyes, just listening to the random sounds that pick up from his phone. God, I’m so tired. A yawn sneaks up on me, releasing a deep breath, and I can feel my body relax even more. I can feel my breathing change a bit, and my head feels heavier as I lie here.

“Hi, I’m sorry,” he says. A small “oop” falling from my lips involuntarily.

“Did I scare you?” he whispers this time.

“A little,” I mumble, my eyes still sewn shut, “I think I fell asleep.”

“Get some rest,” I swear I can hear the smile on his face, “we can talk later.”

All I manage is an ‘mhm’ before I feel myself drifting back into my slumber.

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My phone vibrates against my face, jolting me from my nap. Holy shit. Swiping away the unknown caller, tucking my arms back into my blanket, and closing my eyes. I don’t want to be awake yet. Deciding to lay there for a few more minutes before becoming a human again.

Finally, I caved and opened my phone. Jacob’s messages were still pulled up, but I noticed new ones sitting at the bottom.

Jacob: i hope you feel a little better when you wake up. It was really nice getting to talk to you. I mostly talk to my brothers at this point so it was refreshing

Jacob: not the you being sad part, just the rest of it obviously

I audibly laugh at the second text. He’s so uncomfortable.

I scroll through our messages for a moment with a small smile. You’ve been grinning at these messages… Well, he is charming. I mean, he basically talked you down until you were relaxed enough to sleep. I can still hear his voice in my head, ‘Take a breath for me.’ The way he looked at me as he wiped the tears from my face, I don’t know what happened at that moment. I hear Cass in my head, “Stop thinking yourself out of happiness.”

I set my phone down, quickly sat up, and grabbed my laptop from my coffee table. I opened it, pulled up my emails again, and scrolled for the email from my boss. Hitting reply, I quickly start typing;

‘Good evening, Actually,- I may need to work remotely. After spending a few days checking in, it seems like some assistance may be required-’

Actually what? My hands are typing faster than I can coherently think, but it’s not entirely a lie; he does seem like he needs a little bit of help getting things in order, and with having to train Melody and get her certified, he’s going to be juggling a lot of things.

‘I believe that Mr. Kiszka-’

I giggle to myself, fully able to hear him from the first day I walked in saying, ‘Mr. Kiszka is my father.’

‘-has the capabilities to succeed, but he is still fairly new at this and is just trying to get caught up. He also has a new hire that he will be getting certified, and I will be assisting him with that process to ensure everything goes smoothly.’

Charlotte, you’re still emotional. Maybe you should just hold off on sending this. What do you mean by ‘you will be assisting him’? He’s fine! The words are flowing out from my fingertips, and I’m choosing to ignore the voices in my head this time. Okay, wow.

‘That said, I’ll be located within 30 minutes of Portland. If there are any other businesses you’d like me to check on while I’m there, please let me know. Have a great weekend, Charlotte Rhodes’

I hit send with no second thought.

Okay, so that was a dumb choice. You were much more assertive than you usually are, and that isn’t going to fair well. You weren’t that bad, but not giving an option for working remotely was definitely a choice.

Shutting my laptop abruptly and setting it back on the coffee table, my heart is racing. Never done that before. Typically, I’m not someone who acts on emotions, but for some reason, today is different.

Charlotte: I knew what you meant, lol. I feel much more educated on pirates now.

Jacob: oh i have so much more i could tell you

Charlotte: Well, I’m done working so.. I have time.

Staring at our texts, I don’t know what I’m doing. My hands timidly scroll up, rereading our conversation. Why do I feel nervous? Noting that he’s been nothing but nice and helpful, my phone gently vibrates and automatically scrolls to the bottom as he replies.

Jacob: be careful what you wish for dear

Charlotte: I’m already on board, it’s too late.

I sink into the couch again, wondering if this is a mistake. I did kind of make an irrational decision.. Mmm… feels silly now, doesn’t it? But immediately remembering that, I promised my best friend that I would live a little. ‘It’s just a job, babe,’ plays in my head, and she’s right. It is just a job, and I’m still going to do my job, but from Portland. Where we can talk to this nice boy, who seems like he’s just happy to have someone to talk to. But you also need to not lose your job for a-

Jacob: I hope you already have your sea legs then

Jacob: there were a million pirates in that era so we have a lot to go over

The nerves are nowhere to be seen, swallowed by my quiet laughter as I read his texts. I can only imagine how excited he probably is to talk to someone about this who isn’t going to groan or fake sleep during it. I will gladly take any distraction I can get tonight. The nice voice in my brain is just telling me, maybe we could be friends.

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Chapter Five

Chapter Seven

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cablyunkataplum · 1 year

Text

Never meant to be

Sully family x Sully! Fem/Pronouns Reader

Words: 6,358

Summary: It does not matter who's fault it is right now. You're gone, it won't be the same any more. In the way to your eternal rest, memories come out and fill the sad enviroment.

A.N: Use of (__)-Third person- I'm not an english native speaker so I support on translators!--Sorry for any mistake-- I tried to relate the stories with something of the funeral and scenes before, I hope it makes sense. I hope this is sad/angst but fluff too. -(__) has different ages in each memory. 6 months for this is pretty wild.

It was weak but it was still there, the lullaby made by the waves, accompanying those who were grieving. The water a little warmer but cold for the Sullys, burning their skin as memories flowed over the surface of the reflecting form.

Her body floating softer now it was lifeless, being encapsulated between large leaves and flowers, taken away from the village to a place unknown to all of them even after living there for weeks; there was not their home, not with pain clouding their senses. She's not coming back and it will be a long road before they can be together again.

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Kiri did her best to find a flower that only grew in remote places and very well hidden ones. She spent her days trying, but it seemed she would not succeed and that frustrated her. Everyone noticed this and asked her if there was anything they could do, she simply said it was nothing and continued with her tasks.

One night, after noticed how distracted she was, again, (__) talked with Mo'at about the matter.

Reaching the tent after dinner, (__) announced herself before entering given the permission to, she greeted with her hand raising and descending --I see you, grandmother-- Mo'at reciprocated --I see you granddaughter,What brings you on these sides? You haven’t come here for a long time-- She grabbed a few herbs putting them in a bag to direct her attention to collect others, without taking off the eyes of them she heard --I know Grandma, I’m sorry-- (__) squatted and then took a more comfortable position. --But Kiri has been different these days-- Now the tsahik turned to look in her direction with the same calm as she crouched down --different?-- she placed the herbs in a bowl and began to grind them for a few seconds neither of them spoke, concentrating on how the bundle turned into a pasty mixture, the sound of fire breaking the wood causing their ears to move, --And haven’t you thought about asking her?-- This question sounded very innocent but it was obvious how sarcastic too, --Of course Grandma!, but she didn’t say anything-- Mo’at stopped grinding and her eyes met those of (__) raising her eyebrows and tilting her head a bit --And I should know--.

With her ears pressed to her head she answered almost whispering --maybe-- but quickly continued --She spends a lot of time training and healing with you-- at the end the eldest shook her head laughing a little --You care too much granddaughter of mine-- And she went on to mix it again --If it helps you and Kiri, I think I know what’s going on. I told her about a very rare ingredient that I use in several of my mixes, but I no longer have it and I have not been able to find any, not even the pickers-- when she finished and saw that the texture was the best she stopped and picked up a few rags, At the same time (__) came closer to her --How is it?-- Mo'at could see the determination in her eyes, after thinking a little about whether to tell her or not, she gave in and then gave her the details of said flower.

The days passed, (__) spent less time in the clan returning untidy and sometimes with cuts. Something that worried the Sully’s, another girl who behaved differently than usual, but this would not last long.

Kiri tended to several with their wounds, focused on making the right moves and putting in the right amounts that ignored a figure who walked beside her and sat a few feet away from her. Mo’at, who was attending to another na’vi, spoke --When you finish with him, take care of your sister, I have already done it too much--- So Kiri looked up, first to her grandmother who with some seriousness saw (__) then to the same one who offered a small embarrassed smile lowering her gaze. Without saying anything and keeping her eyes for a few more seconds she continued to heal the wound. At the end she grabbed her things and went with her older sister observing those that required more attention first --what happened this time?-- (__) frowned trying to disguise the satisfaction of the task that left her in such a state --MH?-- Kiri exhaled somewhat tired --You know what I mean and don’t try to deny it (__)--She ran her fingers through the mix and spread it on the first wound getting a few moans of pain --Didn’t you think about what might happen to you?-- Turning her eyes for the scolding she opened his mouth for the first time to speak not before making other sounds for the burning --Mom and Dad already scolded me enough … I’m fine, Thank you--. Kiri quickly took her arm and extended it so that she and her sister could see it and bending over to see her face. --Is this being fine?-- --Kiri-- now (__) had a tired tone, Kiri’s uneasy face relaxed and looking for her sister’s look tried to be more delicate --What do you think you were doing?-- Studying her face a little and looking for the words to explain herself and make the surprise a good surprise --Little sister it won't happen again-- --I hope so-- she returned to focus her attention on the wounds --If you continue this strange, I will be the one who will have to take care of you--.

--Now I am the one who acts weird?-- Again they connected glances but Kiri shook her head and attended another cut --I don’t know what you’re talking about-- (__) brought her face closer to hers --Really?-- --Ugh-- she took some bands and wrapped them around her sister's arm --You are the one who is acting weird I’m fine-- (__) nodded slowly with lips a little pressed but her tail somewhat restless, her head looking at some shops began her “little plan” --TUK!-- Without turning but her eyes focused on Kiri continued with a smile forming --Then I think I’ll have to see what I do with all this-- The steps became more audible as they got closer, soon after Tuktirey appeared holding a basket --Hi Kiri!-- When she was close she extended the basket, when she took it, the little Tuk just as she came she went --Goodbye Kiri!-- with some caution she opened the lid to meet several flowers, the same that she spent many days searching without success Her mouth opened a little, her eyes opened a little more, after a few seconds she looked at (__) with the same expression and then at Mo’at --she is quite persuasive, as stubborn-- with bowl in hand went to her tent. --And?-- Her face full of happiness and fun for Kiri's attitude, but only received a slap on the face --Auch!, what was that for?-- --For being a skxawng-- With hands running her arm and without erasing that smile from her face --I can show you where there are more-- taking the basket and putting it in another place she observed them for another time --they are beautiful … I like them-- (__) confessed --Thank you-- softening her expression --It is nothing Kiri, anything for my siblings-- now it was Kiri's mouth that curved to share the smile.

Kiri sat next to (__) and laid her body and head on hers. --I think you better collect more, grandmother will reproach you every time you approach to her the times she has had to attend you--. She exhaled amused since it was most likely --as you say-- her posture became rigid and made a military signal that her father had taught them. Giving another pat but on the back of the neck she rolled her eyes without losing her smile --I'll reserve some for you, you'll need them-- --You talk like I'm always in trouble-- her tail moved as she remembered the many times her brother had gotten in trouble and where she had to heal him. --You behaved like lo’ak--. Kiri felt (__)’s head lying on hers, she closed her eyes and (__) answered --That’s why you scolded me? I am older, I am the one who should scold you--.

--I was worried-- settling more into the gap that she had in the neck of (__) and her chest, focused on listening to her heart. --You don’t need to worry about me-- and neither said anything, enjoying each other’s company. Kiri then thanked the great mother for giving her the family she has, for the support and love they gave her and give her, for being in the here and now. Her arms encircled her sister's figure and hers her shoulders.

_________________________

The cold wind caressed the face of Lo’ak who was still sleeping, the external activity diluted in his listening announced the morning, feeling the lack of body heat at his side, it took him a while to open his eyes that to his surprise the light was already abundant, he stretched as much as he could, he left his resting place and went to breakfast. When he arrived he was greeted by his family, first by his mother who stretched his arm to his head and kissed it, then by his father --Did you sleep well son?-- Jake asked by taking a piece of food and Lo’ak settling down next to his mother and Neteyam answered --Yes Father-- by bowing he grabbed a few pieces of food, leaving no room for further conversation (__) continued to swaying and asking --Daaaaaaddd pleaasseeee--.

Neytiri, who helped Tuk to eat, replied --(__), your father already told you no-- with this the girl made a few grimaces, without stopping her action her dad interfered --What will you do there?-- Before answering Neteyam spoke --She's going with a boooyyy-- he didn't dissimulate the smile and immediately made sounds to imitate kisses --Puagh! I'm not!-- with disgust she pulled out her tongue while the other children laughed but her mother looked at them to stop and so they did but in a while the ones emerged a little, --Very good, but you take your brother, today Kiri and Neteyam have their trainings-- As if she had never been sitting, she started jumping around and then hugging her dad for a long time, --Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you-- and hastily sat down to eat, with a small look at Lo’ak. Neytiri who at that time had finished eating and was now focused on Tuk saw Jake with a smile that he tried to hide when he saw her along with Mo'at.

When they finished eating Lo’ak and (__) went to the spring, the wet grass as well as the weather made the road lighter, concentrated in the view that although it was not possible to see beyond 4 meters was abundant, the sounds of his own steps, insects or even the wind was enough to relax the little one and make his body feel sleepy but the grip of (__) hand with his hand was enough to keep walking. After several moments of the walk the water hitting and joining with another was already heard as well as several laughs and other movements.

Lo’ak watched his sister dive more and more into the spring, from time to time pouring water or dipping her head. --Lo’ak! Come!-- (__) called her brother with a sign, the one who was sitting playing with some toys just shook his head and continued with his game, the water was too cold for his taste but, (__) wouldn't take a no for an answer, she had come to have fun and wanted her brother to do it too. But as soon as she thought of something to convince the child she would enjoy the spring.

Dipping and dipping she noticed a close flash, curiously she approached, came out of the water to take a breath of air and dive again, extending her left hand and grabbing the object. This moved a little, when she opened her mouth by the surprise she had to leave to not take or breathe the water. --Lo’ak! Lo’ak!-- He raised his head and saw his sister walking quickly towards him. --Come, look what I found!-- Her face no longer reflected surprise but joy like her body language, again shook his head --I don't want-- (__) clasped her hands together and asked again --Come on Lo'ak! If you do then I'll play with you whatever you want, but come-- thinking about it for a few seconds, he accepted and took the hand of (__). When he touched the water he moved back a little by the temperature but his sister gave him a squeeze with her hand and a look to encourage him, as he walked more and the water reached his torso he had already become accustomed to the cold. When they got to a certain point they stopped, the elder pointed her head and spoke --There it is, ready?-- She noisily breathed in and waited a little for Lo’ak to do the same, in doing so they both put their heads in and with their eyes wide open they searched for what had excited his sister so much. When he saw a little figurine of pastel colors and that with the passing light shone, as (__) he tried to touch it, but when his hands did he felt a peculiar texture, without having the same reaction, he only pulled his hand and watched the little figure come out antennae and move slowly on the rock on which it rested.

It was a snail he had never seen before, a very nice one, smiling he came out to breathe and began to laugh, next door his sister saw him and just imitated him. Already in a less deep place both walked looking at the rocks and stones below and the leaves that had fallen and floated aimlessly, some of the na’vi were no longer there, they had returned to the clan so it was calmer. As the child that is Lo’ak it occurred to him that it would be fun to surprise his sister. As slow as he could was approaching (__), he bent down and her hands formed small spaces, when she turned to hear her brother approach she was greeted by nonstop water splashes with laughter, she tried to shelter her face with her arms but it was quite difficult so she decided to fight back, thus initiating a battle that neither of them would be willing to lose.

Hours later the only thing they did was rest, when one said they had given up and the other believed they took advantage to throw water again, the other did it too. Her hair moved according to the waves, as did her garments that barely floated. The light was dim by the leaves that covered the spring. Looking at her face, Lo’ak appreciated every detail of her sister, even how serene she was even seemed to have fallen asleep. Almost as a sigh Lo’ak said her name, she opened her eyes and waited --I thought you were sleeping-- she shook her head. --It is better that we go to the clan, surely we have passed the food-- Turning a little leaning on her knee and squeezing her hair to remove the excess water, his brother did the same and taking by the hand they collected the toys to leave.

Back his head followed a thought that had formed at breakfast time, at his father’s condition and decided to clarify it even if it hurt his feelings, --(__), did you want to come with me?-- For the sudden question she stopped the steps, the sister who saw the face of her brother understood what he meant --Hey… why wouldn’t I want? with brothers as “cool” as you-- she broke her grip and swirled his hair with a smile before it got serious --I'm here Lo'ak, ok?-- without much thought he nodded.

They grabbed hands again and continued their way home without looking back.

_________________________

Neytiri had already finished several of her tasks for the day, one of her last was to go hunting, walking among the hammocks and some roots she carried her bow and arrows with constant step, the eclipse was approaching remarkably so it was necessary to get something before the night covered every corner of the forest. Before she could completely leave the clan and call her ikran’s attention, she was attracted by a creak that frightened her, turning around quickly she found nothing less than her eldest daughter holding her own bow, her own eyes open --sorry ma, I didn't mean to scare you-- calming down immediately she signalized to her to approach her --what happened darling?-- slowly shook her head as she shortened the distance, arriving Neytiri surrounded with her arm the head of (__) charging it at the end of her collarbone --no, I just wondered if... could I go with you?-- --Nothing would make me more happy-- before continuing she separated a little to take her face in her hands and observe it a while --My great hunter is not yet big enough to think that hunting with her mother is thing of the past-- the cheeks of (__) warmed up to remember how those last weeks she was alone or with other young na’vi --mom!!-- a smile crossed by both in a moment, --It is better that we go at once-- without another word they walked until they reached the place that seemed right to them and called their ikran.

Already in the place that Neytiri had planned both began with the task, as cautious as possible they roamed the forest, tracking and following the chosen prey.

The rope was stretched until the arm reached its ideal point, the tip centered in the sight and with one last breath her hand released the rope, the arrow accompanied by another giving in different objectives, without wasting time they approached and performed the prayer.

--You have improved a lot in your aim-- --Thank you-- when she met her eyes her mother nodded --when the time comes you will take my father’s bow-- (__) who was preparing the animals to be loaded stopped the action taking again her eyes to those of Neytiri with disbelief --But Mom-- Neytiri interrupted --A bow must be strong, endure all the times it is used and those that do not, the person who wears it must be as strong as one, is one more part of who wears it; just as important as the heart, it is decided-- she finished preparing the animals herself, turning just to make her posture clearer, (__) nodded and then helped with what remained to be done.

On the flight back, the girl's mind wondered why that decision, despite being honored and happy she was also confused and even a little worried because that bow was one of the few things that her mother kept from her own father and therefore from her old home but she would not question it otherwise as it was what her mother wanted.

After dinner averyone went to their hammocks to sleep and be ready for the next day, including the Sully’s, each to their respective but before Neytiri could go with Jake, her daughter asked to talk to her. Already set aside for others to rest, (__) sat on a rock and waited for the moment she thought was most appropriate to ask by tilting her head a little towards Neytiri --how was my grandfather?-- She stood behind (__), she took a great inhalation as soon as she sat next to her, looked at the stars standing still in the sky, --He was one of the strongest people I have ever met, wise and determined, even though Oloeyktan, he was someone who inspired confidence, love.-- The memories crossed her mind good and not so good but made tears find place in her eyes --Sometimes you look a lot like him, I'm sure he would be very proud of all of you.--

(__) In her periphery saw how her mother's face changed according to her emotions, her hand rested on top of hers --so would he be with you-- Neytiri turned her head to see (__) that she did not look at her directly swallowed saliva and tried to say something, she took off her tears with her hand --I wish it was, it is time for us to return-- and so they did.

Before (__) lay in her hammock she pulled Neytiri into a big hug putting her ear on her chest --rest ma, see you tomorrow-- with a kiss on the crown of her head for the last time she spoke -- you too, ‘ite’-- that’s how the night ended, the clan resting quietly.

The bows rested one above the other in their designated place waiting for another use, while dreams visited everyone, Neytiri dreamed of her father, she was again a girl and he was as always a great man.

_________________________

The little Tuk ran from one side to another screaming, the na’vi and people around her gave small glimpses toward her direction somewhat confused by her actions, as she stopped she turned around with her eyes going through every possible corner, attentive to any suspicious movement. But for a while there was no action to alert Tuk, for a moment her face was covered in confusion.

But as she let her guard down, two arms surrounded her figure –-I got you!-- Tuk shouted again but it was mixed with laughter --not true!-- And tried to break free repeatedly until she gave up, when (__) let her go, she resumed her escape --Hey, that's not fair-- she shouted but the girl ignored and kept running toward the tent of the whole family, with the things that were there she tried to hide and keeping silent, she waited.

After several minutes she heard as someone approached and entered the tent, holding her breath she watched as the na’vi moved to the other side, that’s when Tuk noticed that it was not (__). But lo’ak who squatted and pulled something out of a basket, but when he stood and turned around he realized that the little girl was in the same space, carrying a scared look for a moment he asked --what are you doing?-- --Shh-- without being quiet, Lo'ak asked again, raising his voice --Shhhh!,What do you not see that I am hiding?-- he immediately answered --No-- and without further, he left the tent.

Other minutes passed and Tuk was already more than bored, she thought that, since (__) had not entered there perhaps she had forgotten their game and that she could already leave and not worry too much so she did but as she walked toward the entrance she didn't notice the shadow that was expected on the cloth of the store, When she left, she was back between two arms, the same ones that had imprisoned her moments before – I knew you were here-- --(__)!-- She laughed a little, --I win-- at that moment she let go of her, but the girl didn’t move from her side-- it’s not true, you cheated, that doesn’t count-- Tuk pressed her lips and changed her posture so that her sister knew how she was feeling.

--Cheated? How I cheated?-- Her tone of voice reflected the confusion she presented at what her younger sister said --surely you pretended that you forgot that we were playing to distract me and sure Lo’ak told you where I was-- Now she was the biggest grimace – I didn’t forget anything and Lo’ak hasn’t even spoken to me since breakfast -- Tuk’s tail stopped moving abruptly, his ears just as still – really?-- -- promise TukTuk-- she took a hand to her heart to make it better understood what she was telling the truth, Tuk seemed quite satisfied with that and she accepted it --that’s good because others usually do it when we play--. So (__) knelt down to level with her sister and seeing her in the eyes --then I promise I will never forget when we play together-- Tuk smiled and with his hand imitated her sister’s previous action --And I… promise… never forget anything-- ----what?-- The expression was funny because of her sister’s somewhat vague promise --Yes, I will never forget anything, nor of this-- raising an eyebrow the kneeling Sully asked --Really? Then I hope you never forget that I am your sister-- she composed her posture rolling her eyes--it seems that Lo’ak and Kiri already did-- the latter was more for herself but Tuk managed to hear and laughed, without saying anything else they heard how her mother called them to eat, --Yeah, i promise--

_________________________

Neteyam had finished his practices for the day so he decided to go and walk to relax, he knew that his father expected that when he finished he would immediately return to the clan, half a year ago that the people of heaven had returned and Jake was more strict and hard on them, plus he was busier. So he tried his best not to stress his father and make him proud, just like anyone, he needed time to rest.

So thinking of returning to the clan before worrying anyone, he went on his way, observing the flora and fauna, eating from the fruit he found, memorizing the parts of the forest where he was. After a long time he remembered what he had planned watching as he was close the eclipse ran as fast as he could as his ikran was not close. When he arrived and was under the camp he called his ikran in a hurry, without having stepped on, first he heard the cry of his father and then his figure approaching with tense posture –-did you already realize the time you arrive!?-- --I’m sorry, sir.-- But this response only seemed to infuriate Jake who immediately thought of some punishment for his eldest son –-A sorry doesn’t help me when you don’t even seem to care!-- Neteyam lowered his head, biting his tongue to the point of drawing some blood. What else could he say? He knew that if he told the truth he would only make things worse and if he didn't say anything else he would take his father out of his boxes, at that time to remain silent and Jake's to wait, (__) approached knowing what was going on from her father’s screams, and to try to help, she spoke –-Neteyam, did you get the stones?-- both turned to see her confused --What do you mean sweetheart?-- asked Jake, for a second the ears of (__) went down but quickly replied --an apology father, I asked Neteyam some things for a project I have-. --And the stones?-- Jake turned to Neteyam who stuttered a bit trying to give an answer that was credible –- I didn’t find any special for (__), sorry --Do not worry brother, another day will be–- with some doubt and without discomfort already some Jake accepted the fact and left everything with a warning that they should always warn with issues like this to avoid worries --it will not happen again father--, -It better not-.

When Jake disappeared from their field of vision, Neteyam spoke -– why do you lie to him? You shouldn’t have done that-– something tired (__) put her hands on her brother’s shoulders --did you see how he was? He almost takes your teeth out one by one-- he sighed – anyway, that was wrong – with one hand he pushed the hands away from (__) -- when he finds out that I never looked for anything, what will we do?-- She raised an eyebrow – what else could we do? Tomorrow you bring me any stone and I will pretend that I loved it–For a moment, Neteyam watched his sister in disbelief. Had she lied before? --We won’t do that-- she escoffed, --As you wish, so what do you suggest?-- --We won’t do anything, this was my fault.-- (__) turned her eyes and before turning around she said, --very well-- and finally marched to leave Neteyam with his thoughts.

The next morning, as if he was not between his father’s expectations, he woke up late, possibly it was already noon. He rushed out to apologize and start his arc practices immediately. But Jake did not recriminate anything, to the surprise of the boy and his mother - thank (__) who warned me of your great ability, this day you can rest as much as you want but I will not allow it to always be that way, did you hear boy?-- --Yes, father, thank you very much-- without further ado, he did. In the night when he saw the eldest, he thanked her but she shook her head and with a confessed smile – you earned it – she shook her brother’s head and finished –now rest Tey– –you too (__)--. And with that they went to sleep without seeing eachother in the eyes.

_________________________

It had been a busy day but full of fun and new discoveries with his friends, his family. Removing the mask that helped him move in Pandora, Spider opened the second control door, when Norm entered he received it as usual.

--Hello Spider! How did everythin went?-- --It was great Norm, Kiri showed me plants I had never seen before and then with Lo'ak, Neteyam and (__) we went to explore a place she found, There were a lot of bugs and they ate some-– Spider only laughed at what happened as they had also joked with each other but Norm made an expression of disgust thinking about their texture and taste --Very well I do not want to know more details, Go take a shower so we can eat-– Spider breathed out his shoulders and walked down heavily to where the showers were --ok-- without having moved too far he stopped and without losing another second he passed his hands on Norm’s clothes and ran to his room --Spider!-- he shouted with his hands outstretched seeing the dirt and what looked like drool on his shirt and some of his pants, with a sigh of defeat he went to change and make Spider bath.

Well into the night and after having dined Spider lay on his bed, just below Norm's and before he went up the boy asked why he never learned the ways of the Omaticaya to be one of them, he settled on the edge of the bed --well-- he squeezed his lips --Jake was the first, he was taught as he was not a scientist and I was a little jealous- Spider curved an eyebrow --Something?-- Norm frowned --Don't you believe me?-- The boy shook his head and denied, Norm forrowed his eyebrows and nodded slowly --I guess I was very jealous, I had spent many years learning so that someone who barely knew what photosynthesis was or knew what skxanwngg meant would have been accepted into the clan… but then Grace and I had the opportunity to live with the Omaticaya, everything seemed to improve, After the war I still had the opportunity to ask and more with Jake being Oloeytktan but at that time I realized that it was really not something that was for me... plus-- he shook the hair of Spider --Someone has to take care of you-- --The other guys take care of me too-- he moved his hand away from himself --Yes, but I'm the one who does it most of the time-- Spider was silent thoughtfully and yawned, --I guess-- Norm shook his head with a smile, --Good night kiddo-- --Good night Norm--.

The next day Spider went out again to meet the Sully's near a river, even if (__) did not arrived yet he and the others started playing, Neytiri and Jake watching them, for a while they chased, they swooped down and the boy pulled their tail until being a little calmer the mud hit them right on their faces, with their mouths wide open they saw that the cause was her older sister --(__)!-- the children shouted while she laughed, they took off the mud and began to grab more.

When she saw this her tail tightened and ran away as quickly as possible --don't run coward!-- Lo’ak shouted --try to catch me fools!-- and as the challenge that was all came out shot in her direction – children!-- They barely heard how Jake called them, but they continued as they knew she would not return until it was safe and accelerated the pace further, just as if they were for the prey that runs away from the hunter. They all took different routes, Spider running on the ground just like Kiri, while Lo’ak and Neteyam took their route on the tree branches.

The further they advanced Spider recognized the way as he and Lo’ak sometimes passed by and had even made a shorter path, so he took it for the sake of everyone’s revenge.

After running a little more he managed to see the figure of (__) that now ran less, so as not to frighten her or to make her notice his presence he slowed down until he only gave step by step with caution when she had stopped completely, examining her surroundings for any alert that her siblings were nearby, she took a long time to notice Spider as lightning came out at her, when she did it was already falling and being muddy --Spider!-- (__) she shouted before removing the child next to her and the mud, when she stood up she asked --Do you think it's funny?-- --It is--Spider smiled and she gave him a bitter one, before he could walk a few beads and ties fell to the ground, as if she had never been blue (__) she felt the blood leaving her body --what is that?-- --Nothing-- she wanted to pick them up but Spider had already done it with some --this is for a songcord-- without being able to lie (__) exhaled and sat on the wet ground nearby,he did the same, she extended her hands to him and spoke --it's yours-- Spider remained silent for a while --mine?-- She nodded --I thought maybe you could make your own cord, I wanted it to be a surprise-- -- but I am not a na'vi -- she immediately answer -- you are, You are na'vi as much as me or my mother and every na'vi has their songcord-- she tilt her head to him grab the beads and the ties in her big hands and so he did --If you want I can help you--without giving answer Spider stood and hugged with all his streght to (__) who received it --Thank you.--

The sound of creaking branches and moving plants reached the ears of both who with just a glance and a smile grabbed mud and ran out to the cause of the noise.

Days later Norm analyzed samples when Spider passed at great speed but he noticed something hanging from the boy's waist, a musical string.

_________________________

The flora illuminated the night landscape in different colors, occasionally reacting to the outside activity of the still awake animals. In a hammock several meters from the ground one family rested peacefully, huddled on top of the other.

However one of the dreams was interrupted, Jake felt how some hands grabbed his arm and in periods squeezed or shook it but the state in which he was not paying much attention to this until he heard whispers calling him. He slowly opened his eyes until he got used to the darkness, highlighting the figure of his older daughter who was closer than he expected. Clearing his throat he spoke in a low voice so as not to disturb anyone else -- What happened my child?-- regulating her tone to her father's and without letting go -- I had a nightmare--

--Oh really?-- (__) nodded – And what was it about?-- -– We were in the mountains and mom and you were flying but I didn’t, so I wanted to fly and I tried to get on an ikran but none wanted and then – her tail swung in times – you left and I wanted to fly alone so you wouldn’t left me-- Still sleepy he listened to the story of his daughter that seemed to have really affected him since also the grip of his hands on his arm increased and decreased as it did.

-But I didn't fly-Focusing as much as possible on her even that it would not make much difference, he placed one of his hands on the girl's head to move her until he caressed her cheek. --And why did we leave without you?-- (__) moved her eyes until they reached their limit when thinking about it for a while --I don't know, but I didn't like it, you wouldn't leave me, right?-- Without taking away any of his hands that touched them both, surely Jake spoke --of course not, we would never leave without you--.

--Pinkie promise?-- Jake laughed a little but hooked his little finger to hers who was already waiting for him --I promise, now go back to sleep-- she pulled her hands off his arm, lay down and closed her eyes, Jake following took a deep breath settling down to sleep, He concentrated on reconciling this --Dad-- without moving and to let (__) know that he was listening to her although she looked at him he made a kind of murmur --MH?-- --I would not leave without you either-- Sometimes the words, the innocence and spontaneity with which she said them made Jake form a big smile and in other desire to laugh, In this case even something tender --seriously?-- --Yes-- he gently scratched his temple --that's good, your mother and I will not let you go anywhere until you are your grandmother's age-- (__) covered her mouth to suppress the sound of her laughter that tried to come out even more when Jake leaned one of his arms against his figure --But now back to sleep--.

The sounds of the atmosphere returned to their place in the hammock for a few seconds --Dad?-- (__) put one of her hands back on his arm with a small squeeze waiting for some answer, this being another murmur --I love you-- --I love you more (__)-- He closed his eyes and losing the grip of his hand sleep and stillness came.

With the security that his father gave him little by little, she embraced the rest that her body asked him without thinking about anything else.

_________________________

Her body was now embraced with houndred of tendrils, dissapearing in front of the eyes of her loved ones, everything felt unreal for them. Because it was unreal. For years they fought to be happy but ir seems they were never meant to be.

#sully family #sully family x reader #sully!reader #jake x reader #neteyam x sister!reader #neytiri x reader #lo'ak x sister!reader #kiri x sister!reader #Tuktirey x sister! reader #avatar x reader #avatar x you #avatar x y/n #avatar angst #spider x reader

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beanghostprincess · 8 months

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I'm not saying that Sanji had a special relationship with his mother that his brothers didn't have, but if he did I'm pretty sure they would resent the fuck out of him and would probably take their anger and frustration and confusion out on him.

I'm pretty sure their mother loved them all equally but it didn't come off that way it was very clear that she treated sanji differently. Because of the genetic modifications they can't properly process their feelings of jealousy and sadness and not really understanding what those feelings are or the source of it. They don't know why they feel that way and It would just turn into more anger and frustration and they take it out on sanji

'Why does my chest hurt when he's around her? I don't give a shit about either of them they don't matter to me...... They could die tomorrow and I won't even care. I want them to die! I can't stand being around them! I hate their laughter I hate their stupid hugging and smiling. I hate them I hate them both!!!....how come she never looks at me like she does with sanji?'

Anger at their mom, sanji and themselves one of them is going to have an Azul moment I just know it

Crying and sobbing. It's just so sad to me, like- The whole Vinsmoke family is such a tragedy caused by Judge and it makes me so angry. Because they were just kids and they were modified and raised by somebody who wanted to only use them as killing machines. They were kids, not soldiers. And there's just something about them not being able to feel empathy but still being able to feel hurt when their mom isn't around. Like, okay, apathy. They don't care about anything. But it's their mom. It's something even machines have in common. So they want to be with her but they can't understand why and they're jealous of Sanji getting all of her love but they can't process the feeling and they turn it into anger and-- It's just so, so sad to think about it that way. Because Sora loved them all, but gave up when it came to Sanji's siblings because they didn't seem to love her back. But they did! They did want her as their mom. And when she dies, they blame Sanji even harder for this without even knowing what the definition of mourning and grieving is. They want their mom back and they don't even know why.

#they make me go insane #this whole family always hurts me somehow #one piece #black leg sanji #vinsmoke sora #vinsmoke siblings

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bakudeku4444 · 1 year

Text

*not my art! 👆 all credit goes to the artists*

Friends to Lovers.

🔞MINORS DNI!🔞

Kaminari x Bakugo (aged up.)

Word count: 8.4k

⚠️Warning⚠️ : bullying, selfharm, angst, smut, anal, oral, death, grieving, PDA.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

All of the UA students had moved on. Some went right into being side kicks for pro heroes, but most did it as a side job. They all wanted to be the best they could be. So, when the opportunity to go to college for extra training was presented to them, they all jumped on it.

They had dorms once again, which worked for them because by the time they were about to graduate from UA, they were a bit sad they wouldn't all be living together anymore. Even those who could afford to live outside of the dorms decided they wanted to live with their old classmates.

Today was a particularly tough day in training. Kaminari was trying to nail this new move he was testing out, but after so many tries that he lost count, he short circuited. Which placed him in a catatonic state, but he was still slightly aware of his surroundings.

It wasn't as bad as it normally was. He even heard Bakugo when he was talking about Kaminari to no one in particular.

"Dunce Face, short circuited once again. Tch. To think by now, he would know his quirk's limit." Bakugo said as he watched Kaminari stand there.

It hurt his feelings this time. He didn't know why... maybe because he had been working so hard on it and kept failing... He was so frustrated, and it seemed like Bakugo just kicked him while he was feeling really low about himself already.

He couldn't speak or do anything about it currently. Also, their last class was about to be over.

Kirishima helped Kaminari walk to the dorms because he had about 40 minutes left of this before he was back to normal. He decided to try to just nap as Kirishima got him to lay down in his bed.

"Don't listen to bakugo. I can't even make an excuse for him after all these years, but I have noticed he tries to be nicer most of the time. I'm sorry he said that, though." Kirishima patted him on the back before walking towards the door. "I'll bring you some food in a bit."

Kaminari just laid there stuck, staring at his desk. Kirishima left.

After Kaminari got back to normal, Kirishima had brought him food and asked him if he wanted to come watch something with them. Kaminari agreed after he finished his food.

He thanked him and told him he would be down there in a bit. Kirishima let himself out.

Kaminari scrunched his face up with his jaw tensed. He couldn't shake how he felt about what Bakugo said. He hated that he couldn't get it down, and that his best friend still makes fun of him for his fuck ups. It was getting old. He took out his shorted hearing aids, and threw them in the trash.

He walked downstairs. He had the new hearing aids set low. (He had a stock pile of them because his quirk broke them often.) So he couldn't really hear what anyone said as he sat down. He read the subtitles.

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

Bakugo stared at Kaminari for a bit when he first came and sat down. He could already tell something was wrong when Kaminari didn't make himself known when he came into the room. He kept looking over at him throughout the movie and could see that his hearing aids were on low.

Bakugo felt bad that the hearing aids were basically his fault. They didn't really have a choice. The two were paired up for a mission over the summer. They were having a hard time beating this villain. They thought they were going to die before they had the chance. So, they came up with a plan to use both of their quirks together. The mixture left Kaminari deaf in both ears.

Bakugo blamed himself even though it was Kaminari's idea. He knew how it felt to be deaf. His quirk made him deaf. The combination of both quirks made for the loudest explosion bakugo has ever set off.

He truly felt bad for it. He just didn't know how to show it. He started being a little extra critical towards Kaminari. He didn't want anything like that to happen to him again. So, he thought he was just helping him push himself to do better. He didn't know that he was hurting his feelings.

Bakugo sat back with his arms crossed and tried to just focus on the movie, but he couldn't help finding himself looking over at Kaminari. His mind started to run rampant about all the things he refused to think about until he was alone in his room at night.

☁️: This idiot is so fucking cute with his stupid lightening bolt in his hair. Oh God! did he notice me looking when he was getting changed in the locker rooms this morning? Is that why he's being weird? I don't want him to know I like him more than as a friend. Then, if we became a thing, then we wouldn't be able to work together anymore. Not that I want to work with him again. I don't want to be the cause of anymore pain to him. I made him deaf for crying out loud that shit hurts not only physically, but mentally. It was a lucky chance that he had the idea to learn sign language for me when he found out I was hard of hearing, but I didn't think he would ever actually need it for himself... especially not me being the cause of it... That was such a stupid idea even though it worked.

This wasn't the first time that Bakugo mentally beat himself up about having a crush on Kaminari and about him being the cause of Kaminari being deaf. Kaminari never even got mad about it. He just shrugged to Bakugo and said. "At least we won, we could've been dead. Being deaf isn't as bad as being dead." Then, laughed. That made Bakugo mad because he wanted Kaminari to be mad at him the way he was at himself.

Bakugo was so lost in thought and staring at Kaminari that he didn't notice that most of their friends had gone to bed. The only ones left were Kirishima, Mina, Sero, and Todoroki.

Mina and Kirishima caught the way Bakugo kept looking at Kaminari. This wasn't the first time they had noticed it either. They noticed it many times while they were 2nd and 3rd years in UA. It has just become more evident to them what was going on. They just never mentioned it to him, but they could tell Bakugo had a crush because Bakugo never never paid attention to anyone else as much as he did Kaminari.

They also noticed that Bakugo was the only one allowed to pick on Kaminari. If anyone else did it, he would threaten them but try to make up a different reason as to why he threatened to kill them.

Kirishima had an idea. He didn't want to force it. So, he lightly elbowed Bakugo and told him he was gonna go to bed. Then, he tapped Kaminari, telling him to. Mina understood what Kirishima was trying to do. She told everyone goodnight. Then, they both went up to Kirishima's dorm to cuddle and go to sleep.

Bakugo didn't think anything of it. He just said goodnight to them.

Sero had fallen asleep with his head on Todoroki's shoulder. "I should probably get this one to bed, too." Todoroki stood up and picked Sero up over his shoulder. He took him to his dorm and snuggled up into Sero, falling asleep.

Kaminari's leg bounced as he noticed he and Bakugo were all alone now. He started biting his nails. He suddenly felt a rush of anxiety because of the need to confront Bakugo about what he said earlier. He just thought it would be weird because he had never done that before. He normally just shrugged off the insults.

The change didn't go unnoticed by Bakugo, who had been watching him almost the whole time. "Tch. What's wrong, sparkplug?! I can tell something is wrong." Bakugo tried to act like he wasn't paying attention.

Before Kaminari could think, one word flew out of his mouth. "You."

Bakugo tensed and froze. Was he finally mad at him about being deaf? He didn't know why else he would be mad at him. "The fuck do you mean? I didn't do shit to you today!" He yelled.

Kaminari sighed, turning his hearing aids up. It was too late to turn back now. He knew if he told Bakugo to just forget it that he wouldn't. "Yes, you did... You knew how hard I was working on that move. The moment I short circuit, you have something to say about it. You're so fucking mean to me!" Kaminari didn't notice the tears rolling down his eyes, until a sob wrecked through him.

Bakugo was starting to panic. Kaminari had never cried over things he had said. Bakugo's hands shook. The more Kaminari cried, the more he knew he had to do something before he lost him.

"I try so hard to catch up to everyone else, but the moment I fuck up... you pick on me! Are we even friends or do you just keep me around as a joke?! I thought you were my best friend! Now, I'm starting to think I was wrong to think that in the first place. You are as mean to me as you were to Midoriya when you guys were in middle school! I don't get it! What did I do to become a tar-..." Kaminari was cut off.

The part about Deku triggered him. He didn't want Kaminari to compare himself to that. He didn't even think he was being all that mean to him. Before he could give it much thought, he moved from his side of the couch to him, pinning Kaminari to the couch, and kissed him hard. He just needed him to shut up. He needed time to think, but this kiss that he had thought about for so long turned his brain to mush. One of his hands released Kaminari's and came up to cup his cheek.

Kaminari was caught off guard by the kiss. His eyes were wide open in shock for a few seconds before he melted into Bakugo. A whisper of a moan escaped him.

When bakugo pulled away, they were both panting. He already knew before Kaminari knew that their hear aids fell out. "I like you... I like you more than as a friend..." He signed to Kaminari.

"So you bullied me? What are we five? You were mean to me because you liked me?" Kaminari signed back.

Bakugo had a deep red blush on his face. He was embarrassed. He rolled his eyes but nodded yes. "I know it's dumb... and immature. I just have a hard time with my feelings, and I'm sorry." He signs. He picked up their hearing aids and put Kaminari's in for him. Then, he puts in his own.

"I understand if you don't like me back. I know I'm everyone's last choice." Bakugo shrugs. He stands up about to walk to his dorm.

Kaminari stood up and grabbed Bakugo's wrist. "Kacchan, I... you can't just kiss me, tell me you like me, then leave..."

Bakugo turned around, looking at kaminari with a brow raised. "Why not?! It's not like you like me back."

"I never said that. Don't try to put words in my mouth." He looked down and sighed. "I'm just afraid. I like you.. I do. It's just the way -"

"Jirou treated you. The way she walked all over you." Bakugo groaned. "I'm not her. I don't walk all over people. I don't ever ask anyone for shit. I wouldn't do that to you. You should know that."

Kaminari started crying. "I know... I know... I'm sorry... I just don't wanna get hurt again. I want to just be happy."

Bakugo didn't know how to tell him that he wouldn't hurt him. He knew he was the biggest jerk in the school even though he's working on it. He pulled Kaminari towards him and wrapped his arms around his waist. "How about you just think about it? I know what I want, but I know you think I won't make you happy or I'll hurt you. It's understandable. So, just take your time, alright?"

Kaminari nodded as he leaned his head on Bakugo's shoulder.

Bakugo walked him to his room before he was about to go to his own. Kaminari grabbed his wrist.

"Wait... will you stay with me? Please..." He sniffles.

Bakugo sighed. He didn't think this was a good idea because of how much he liked Kaminari. "Fine, but I'm going to my own room once you fall asleep. I don't want to influence your decision by sleeping in here with you. I want you to want me because you actually want me." Bakugo climbed into the bed with Kaminari.

Kaminari wrapped his arms around bakugos waist and laid his head on his chest. He sniffles for a while longer as bakugo rubs his back. He was sleeping not long after that.

Bakugo found himself drifting. He felt more comfortable in Kaminari's bed than his own right now, but he couldn't let himself stay. He had to untangle himself from Kaminari. He stood up and looked over Kaminari's sleeping form. He bent down and kissed his temple. "Goodnight, Denki..."

He left the room, closing the door quietly. His heart was thumping hard as he made it to his own dorm across the hall from Kaminari.

◇◇◇◇

This went on for a while. Kaminari would ask Bakugo to lay with him until he fell asleep. Bakugo would leave by the time he was getting sleepy. They would act normal by morning. It was as if they weren't creating a new routine after everyone went to bed. Bakugo was just slightly nicer to Kaminari than he had been.

Tonight was different, though. Bakugo was pissed off about being taken off a mission. So, he hadn't left his room all day. It made it hard for Kaminari to sleep. He tossed and turned for hours before he couldn't take it anymore. He got up with a huff and knocked on Bakugo's door. Bakugo answered it with bloodshot eyes like he had been crying.

"What do you want?!" He was not in the mood for anything.

"I-I... can't sleep..." Kaminari was slightly regretting bothering bakugo just because he couldn't sleep without being cuddled up to him.

"Tch. Fine. Come on." He grabbed Kaminari by his shirt and pulled him into his dorm.

"I want you..." Kaminari said barely above a whisper.

"Hah?"

"I want you because I actually want you. That's what you said right? You said you wanted me to want you, and not just want you because I wake up wrapped in your arms. I want that. I wanna wake up with you still there. I don't want to wake up alone anymore. I want to give this a try..." Kaminari fidgeting with his fingers a bit.

Bakugo was shocked. This had been going on for weeks. Their routine. He didn't think Kaminari would want him. Maybe just as a sleep aid, but not as a lover. Not that Bakugo minded that, but hearing this was so much better than only helping him sleep. It definitely pulled him out of his bad mood.

Kaminari sat down on Bakugo's bed. Bakugo took two long strides towards him. He cups Kaminari's cheeks and kisses him passionately. Bakugo pulled away from a smirk. "Took you long enough, sparky~." He whispers.

Kaminari rolled his eyes and wrapped his fist in Bakugo's shirt. He pulled Bakugo down on top of him with a giggle. He kisses Bakugo, running his hands along his chest. He wraps his arms around Bakugo's neck.

The kissing gets really hot, hands heavily pawing at each other's bodies, but Bakugo stops himself. He didn't want to have sex with Kaminari right away. He didn't want this to seem like he just wanted his body. He wasn't going to be like Jirou. He wasn't going to use and abuse Kaminari like that.

Kaminari wanted to go further but noticed Bakugo's hesitation. "I could just give you a hand job, if you want? We don't have to fuck if you don't want to."

Bakugo sighed as he lay on his side next to him with his head proped on the palm of his hand. "It's not that I don't want to, Sparky. I want to. I just don't want to mess anything up. I want to take things slow. Slow for the both of us. I want to do this right. I want to show you I can make you happy for a lifetime, not just a moment. I don't want this to be temporary... I want you, I've wanted you longer than you know. I was just scared."

Kaminari knew he was being truthful because Bakugo was never one to admit to being scared of anything. Kaminari blushed. He felt this tingling sensation swell in his chest and shiver down his spine. He never thought he would get to see such a raw side of Bakugo.

"I understand. We can just let things happen naturally. Don't try so hard to hold back from what you want. I want you to be happy too. I want you to be comfortable around me. Don't hold back just for my comfort." Kaminari cupped Bakugo's cheek.

Bakugo's eyes closed, he brought his hand up, and placed it gentle on Kaminari's. He noticed that Kaminari's hands were much softer than his own rough ones.

"I want to try something." Kaminari had an interesting idea. "But first, I need your consent. Can I touch you below the belt? Can I take your clothes off?"

Bakugo was hesitant at first but nodded. "Y-yeah, you can."

Kaminari took Bakugo's hearing aids out. "Trust me. Close your eyes." He signed to Bakugo.

Bakugo furrows his brows but does as he's told, closing his eyes again.

Kaminari pulls the neck of his shirt to the side and kisses Bakugo's collar bone. Bakugo gasps a bit, letting out a shaky breath. Kaminari's hands trembled a bit as he snakes down, lifting Bakugo's shirt just a little bit. Kaminari kisses the skin between his shirt and shorts.

Bakugo wanted so badly to look, but he was trying hard to keep his eyes closed. With his hearing aids out and his eyes closed, he was making him have a sensory overload. Every touch was intensified. His body trembled a bit under Kaminari.

Kaminari pulled Bakugo's shorts down until his cock popped out, standing at attention in Kaminari's face. Bakugo bit his bottom lip nervously.

"Beautiful..." Kaminari whispered, knowing that Bakugo couldn't hear him. He looked up at his face. He could tell that Bakugo was nervous.

He kissed Bakugo's hips, inching closer and closer to his cock.

Bakugo was panting. "P-please don't tease me~..."

Kaminari smirked. He kissed Bakugo's tip, and Bakugo let's out a shaky moan.

"I-I-I'm not gonna last...~ ah~..."

Kaminari didn't care. He just wanted to make Bakugo cum in his mouth. He wanted to make him feel good. He took Bakugo in his mouth, and attempted to take him down his throat but the girth of him was making Kaminari gag.

Bakugo thrusts into Kaminari's mouth. He couldn't help it, Kaminari's mouth was so wet and warm. Kaminari gagged, but let him keep going. He reached up and tapped his face to let bakugo know that he could open his eyes.

Bakugo's eyes fluttered open, and he almost came at the sight of Kaminari's lips wrapped around his cock. "Oh fuuuuck~... ahh!~ Denki~... Your mouth feels so goooood~..." He laced his fingers in Denki's hair as he watched him bob his head on his cock. He bit his lip.

Kaminari slips his hand in his pants and starts stroking himself and moaning. "Mmmm~" His eyes rolled back.

"I-I! I'm! Fuck!~ c-cumming!~" He tried to warn Kaminari so he could move. He even took his hand out of his hair and fisted the sheets instead. He let out a loud moan as he came. As bakugo came, Kaminari came into his hand.

Kaminari swallowed Bakugo's cum, and pulled off of him panting and moaning. He licked Bakugo's cock clean. Bakugo's head fell back as he panted. He put his hearing aids back in. "I'm sorry.. I don't think I've ever came that much before."

Kaminari chuckled. "Don't ever apologize for something like that." He wiped the cum off his hand with a tissue, and through it away. He pulled Bakugo's shorts back up. He laid down, and pulled the covers up over them. He cuddled up to Bakugo as he normally did.

Bakugo kissed the top of his head. "But I didn't do anything for you."

"It's fine. I still came. You can do something next time if you feel like it. Don't worry about it, ok?" Kaminari smiled and kissed Bakugo's chest. He finally drifted off to sleep.

◇◇◇◇

Their relationship blossomed from then on. They went on dates. It took bakugo a while, but he became comfortable with showing affection towards Kaminari in front of their friends. They slept together every night. Neither one of them could sleep without the other.

When jirou had something to say about it and insulted Kaminari, bakugo wasn't having it. He requested to spar with her. He never went easy on women. He always did things equally and fairly, but he was pissed off, and it ended with Jirou going to the recovery girl unconscious.

Bakugo smirked and walked towards Kaminari. "No one says shit about Sparkplug, but me."

Kaminari blushed, knowing that Bakugo meant that to be sweet. Bakugo wrapped an arm around Kaminari's waist and pulled him flush against him, kissing him.

"Did you really have to send her to the recovery girl to prove a point?" Kirishima felt bad for Jirou.

"Fuck yes. That bitch deserved it. I'm not going to let anyone hurt sparky's feelings!" Bakugo growled.

Kirishima sighed.

Bakugo picked up Kaminari under his thighs and walked into the locker room with him. Bakugo became a PDA monster. He was always touching Kaminari on some way. He couldn't keep his hands to himself when he was around Kaminari.

He pinned Kaminari to the wall as soon as they were in the locker room. He started kissing his jaw and down his neck. He didn't even check to see if anyone was in there with them.

"Mmmf~ fuck...~ I never thought I would be with someone who has my libido.~" He giggled. "You're as horny as I am all the time~."

Bakugo chuckled. "I'm always horny around you, Sparky.~ Before you became mine, I spent a lot of lonely nights with my hand.~" He continues to kiss his neck. "Take a shower with me?~"

"Mhmmm~... please..~" Kaminari grinds against his hard on.

Bakugo pants as he walks over to the showers. He sets Kaminari on his feet and starts stripping him out of his clothes. He kisses Kaminari's shoulders and chest.

Kaminari learned that Bakugo was a gentle lover unless he asked him to be more rough with him. Bakugo always took the time to love and appreciate every part of Kaminari. He felt like bakugo was holding him like glass that would shatter if he tried to go too fast. It always made Kaminari feel like he was on cloud 9.

Bakugo let Kaminari strip him out of his clothes. It was like they were worshipping each other's bodies. It always made Bakugo relax when he was touching Kaminari, and when Kaminari was touching him, it made him feel like he was floating.

He felt Kaminari kiss his cock and his eyes rolled back. "Mmmmf~ ah~ I wanna fuck you so bad, baby.~"

Kaminari tsked at him. "Shower first~..." Kaminari took his, and Bakugo's hearing aids out, setting them on the counter. Then, he pulled bakugo into the warm, relaxing water with him.

"Fine.." Bakugo pouted a bit. He used a soapy cloth to wash Kaminari's body. He massages out the kinks in his back. He started washing his hair as well.

Kaminari washed Bakugo's body, massaging him as well. Then, he washed his hair.

Then, they rinsed off together. Kaminarj stood behind Bakugo, kissing his shoulders and neck. Kaminari backed up to sign. "You so smell so good. You can never actually stink." Kaminari chuckled. "Your quirk makes you smell like caramel.~" He teased as he dragged his teeth lightly against Bakugo's shoulder as if he were trying to take a bite.

Bakugo blushed. He starts pushing his ass back against Kaminari's cock. Kaminari let's out a shaky moan. They hadn't done this yet.

Bakugo wasn't ready to try it a couple of weeks ago, but now he wanted to. He didn't think it was fair that he was always fucking Kaminari and wouldn't let Kaminari fuck him.

"We can go up to the room and try someth-" Bakugo was signing when he saw red hair out of the corner of his eye.

Kirishima and the others came in to shower. "Oh shit! Can you guys put up a warning or something? You guys are both hot and all, but I really don't want to watch my two best friends make love in the showers." He signs and chuckles.

"Well, maybe you all should've waited until we came out, then you could've showered, shitty hair!" Bakugo yelled.

Kaminari tapped his shoulder to get hus attention. "Calm down, Kacchan. We can just finish this in the dorm.~"

Bakugo nods and turns the water off. Kaminari grabs their towels. Then, he wrapped the towel around himself and grabbed their hero suits.

Bakugo carried his gauntlets. They went up to Kaminari's room to finish what they started.

Bakugo dropped the gauntlets, and his towel dropped to the floor. He pulled Kaminari by the hand to the bed, causing him to drop everything. Also, making him realize that he forgot to grab their hearing aids. He giggled as he landed on top of Bakugo. He held a finger up and got off of him to grab them both a pair of hearing aids from his box.

He put them in Bakugo's ears, then a pair on his own ears. He climbs on bakugo to straddle his hips.

"I want you to... I want to try... rrrrr..." He huffed because he was flustered about the thought of Kaminari fucking him. His cock twitched against Kaminari's ass.

"You want me to fuck you?~ I'll only do if if you say it.~" Kaminari smirked.

"Please~..." Bakugo's hand reached for Kaminari's cock, and started stroking it. He bites his lip.

"Please, what?~" Kaminari smirks.

"Can you please fuck me!" He grumbles with a blush.

"You don't have to be so shy about it, love~..." Kaminari slid off of Bakugo. He got down on the floor on his knees between Bakugo's legs. His hands are on Bakugo's knees, keeping his legs spread.

Bakugo propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at Kaminari.

"Lay down~ You're not going to be able to sit up when I fold you in half.~" Kaminari puts his hands under Bakugo's knees and starts pushing them up towards Bakugo's chest.

"Wait. I'm scared."

"It's Ok~. I'll be gentle. If you're worried about your ass being dirty. I know it's not because I washed it. Just like you washed mine." He chuckles, trying to lighten the mood, and make Bakugo relax.

Bakugo huffed but laid back, holding back back of his legs to keep himself folded and spread. "Ok. I trust you.~"

Kaminari smiled and started sucking on his balls, then kissed his way down. He spread Bakugo's ass cheeks. He started licking at his hole and trying to push his tongue in. He wrapped one of his hands around Bakugo's cock, and started stroking him as he lapped at his hole.

At first, bakugo flinched away from the feeling, but then he started to relax and actually enjoy it. He didn't realize that what he had been doing to Kaminari had felt so damn good. "Ahh!~ fuck!~ ah~!" He was moaning uncontrollably.

He choked on his breath when he felt Kaminari push a finger into him. It stung a bit to have that hole breached for the first time.

He could feel Bakugo's body tense up. "Relax~..." Kaminari whispered as he peaked up at Bakugo's face. He saw him nod and saw him physically relax.

He started working the finger in Bakugo, feeling for that squishy sweet spot. When he finally found it, Bakugo let out the most lewd moan Kaminari had ever heard.

Kaminari bit his lip, trying not to touch himself. He wanted all his cum to go in Bakugo's ass. He kept working to prep Bakugo for his cock. He slipped in a second finger, then after a while a third. After, bakugo came for the second time Kaminari could tell he was getting sensitive.

Bakugo was panting and whining. At this point, he was begging Kaminari to just fuck him. He was shaking from how sensitive he was.

"Oh God! Please!~ I can't take this anymore!~" Bakugo cries out.

"Ok, ok~... patience, my love~... This is your first time.~ I'm just trying to do it right~..." Kaminari whispers. He didn't know that Bakugo's hearing aids fell out during his first orgasm.

He lines his cock up with Bakugo's hole and slowly pushes himself into him. He kept his eyes on Bakugo's face. He wanted this to be enjoyable for him. Once he bottomed out in Bakugo he moaned.

Bakugo whined for Kaminari to move. "Please~ need you to fill me up with your cum!~ ah!~"

Kaminari had to stop himself from cumming so soon. He started thrusting in him at a slow pace at first. He was loving the sounds that Bakugo was making. "Ahh~ oh fuck!~ you're still so tight!~ I'm not going to last long!~" His eyes roll back. He was really trying to keep going, but his orgasm hit him like a ton of bricks.

"C-cumming!" Kaminari cried out as he thrusted hard into Bakugo, and filled up his ass with his cum. He panted hard.

Bakugo came as he felt Kaminari twitching and cumming inside of him. He was panting, and whining. "I love you~... fuuuck I love you, Denki~..." It was the first time bakugo said that to Kaminari.

Kaminari's eyes widened, and he started tearing up. "I love you too~... I love you so much!~" He started kissing his neck, but that when he noticed his hearing aids had fallen out.

He grabbed it and put it back in his ear. "I love you too, Katsuki.~" He pulled out of him and laid next to him. He pulls bakugo close to him. He plays with his messy, spiky hair. "How'd I get so lucky?" Kaminari kisses his head.

"Psh... you? I think I'm the one who's lucky." Bakugo smirked.

♡♡♡♡

Three years later...

Bakugo and Kaminari moved into their own apartment near the college. They were engaged. Bakugo couldn't be happier. Kaminari was head over heels for Bakugo. They were happy, but today wasn't a very happy day.

"I don't want you to leave!... I don't feel good about this assignment!" Bakugo was yelling, but he really did have a bad feeling about this. His fiance was about to leave him for 2 weeks.

"I promise it'll be OK... It seems like an easy assignment. You believe in me, right?" Kaminari chuckled.

"Two weeks doesn't seem like an easy fucking assignment! You know I believe in you, asshole! Don't try to put words in my mouth! I don't want you to go!" Bakugo yelled.

Kaminari sighed and walked over to his fuming shaking fiance. He wraps his arms around him, and that's when Bakugo breaks. He starts crying. Bakugo grips Kaminari's Chargebolt hoodie. "I have to... but I'll be back. I promise..." He slipped out of his hoodie. "Here, this is my promise to come back." He pulls his hoodie onto Bakugo.

"You fucking better!" Bakugo sniffles, inhaling Kaminari's signature cologne that made him feel safe. "I love you so much..."

"I love you too... you feel like driving me to headquarters? That way we can spend more time together before I leave." Kaminari smiled, wiping Bakugo's tears with his thumbs. Kaminari kissed him passionately.

Bakugo nodded and sighed. His stomach tossed and turned as they put Kaminari's bags in the trunk. He had his hand on Kaminari's thigh the entire time. He wouldn't move it as he drove.

"Katsuki, it's going to be OK. I'll be back before you know it." He peeled Bakugo's hand off his thigh and kissed the back of his hand.

Bakugo let out a shaky breath. He was trying not to cry again. He stopped in front of the place. "Can I come in with you? Can I hear the details of the mission? It might make me feel better..."

"I wish, but you know I can't do that... it's confidential, and it's not your mission. I can tell you that a couple of our friends will be there to help, but I can't tell you much else...." Kaminari was hiding the fact that he had a sinking feeling about this mission too.

He was nervous. He and his team were up against someone with a similar quirk to him. He just didn't know much about it besides it was electric.

"I know, I know... I love you..." Bakugo wrapped his fist in Kaminari's shirt and kissed him passionately. "You better come back to me, Sparkplug..."

"I will. I love you too, Kacchan." Kaminari rubs his nose against Bakugo's. "I have to go. I'm going to be late to the meeting before we get on the plane."

Bakugo, let's go of his shirt and cups his cheek. Bakugo really didn't want him to leave. He was about to cry again. Kaminari got out of the car, grabbed his bags, and blowing Bakugo a kiss. "I love you!"

"I love you, too!" Bakugo tried to smile. He stared until Kaminari's form disappeared behind the doors. He hit the steering wheel and left.

He drove back home. He moped to the bed. He got the text that they were boarding the plane, and another 'I love you, Sparky.💛🖤🧡🖤'

Bakugo sent back, 'I love you, too, Sparky 🧡🖤💛🖤 text me when you get there, please..'

Bakugo spent his time worrying. He talked to Kaminari every chance he got, which wasn't much because he only had about an hour at night to talk, and then he wouldn't hear from him again until the next night. Kaminari always sounded exhausted and would let out groans of pain here and there. Which only made Bakugo worry more.

He wasn't working very well. He was hardly sleeping. The worrying was eating him alive.

◇◇◇◇

A week later...

Bakugo is panicking. His heart is palpitating. He's shaking and crying as he recklessly drives to Kaminari's agency that he works for. He was in a tank top and shorts. His hair is in tangles from pulling at it and hitting himself in the head. He wipes his tears and slams the door to his car so hard that his window shatters. "Fuckin hell!" He barks.

He marches into the building, and by passes the front desk lady who is telling him he can't go in there that he needs to have an appointment. The lady clearly didn't recognize him as the pro hero Dynamite.

"Fuck off! I don't need a God damn appointment!" Bakugo barked at her as he steps into the elevator. His fists shook, and he had to put this feeling somewhere. To release it. He punched through the wall of the elevator as it came to a stop. He pulled his fist out of the wall. As he walked into the office of Kaminari's boss.

"Where the fuck is my fiance!? I will fuckin kill you!" He came in already screaming and threatening Kaminari's boss.

The man behind the desk was already shaking but tried to play it off that he wasn't scared out of his mind. "Mr. Dynamite. I wasn't expecting to see you today."

"Cut the shit! Where is Denki Kaminari!? He didn't call last night! He has called me every fucking night! He didn't call me last night! Tell me he's ok! Tell me he's just busy! Tell me!" Bakugo voice cracked. He was about to have a panic attack again.

The man sighed heavily. "Have a seat, please.." He had to follow a stupid script. "I regret to inform you that he died while in battle at 4 pm yesterday... I'm sorry, Mr. Dynamite. I wish I could say more... I wish I had different news to give you... his remains will be on the flight back here tomorrow. Since we don't know of any living relatives... it will be your decision on what happens next. It doesn't need to be decided right away. Take all the time you need."

Bakugo dropped to the ground. Explosions going off in his palms. "Shut up. Shut up! SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOURE LYING! HE'S NOT DEAD! HE'S COMING HOME IN A WEEK! TELL ME HES COMING HOME, ALIVE! HE'S NOT FUCKING DEAD! HE CAN'T BE! HE CAN'T LEAVE ME!" Bakugo was screaming at the man as he broke down in tears. He got up off the ground, and stomped over to him. He grabbed him by the tie.

"I will fucking kill you! Tell me he's alive! You knew this mission was dangerous! This is your fault!" He let off an explosion on the man's face, and then spit on him. "You worthless piece of shit! It should've been you! You should be dead!"

He was pulled off by two security guards. Aizawa had just so happened to be making a visit to Kaminari's boss to see how things were going. Anyone who knew about this mission knew it was poorly planned and needed more heroes on the team. Aizawa had a bad feeling about the whole thing. He was trying to convince the boss to put a pause on the mission until they got more information. He heard familiar yelling coming from the office. He slipped past the security, blocking the door. "Let. him. go!"

Bakugo almost fell to the ground again, but Aizawa caught him in his arms. Bakugo sobbed and yelled.

"Im going to kill you! This is your fault!"

Aizawa shushed him and made him leave the room. He opened a break room, pulled him in, and shut the door. He stood in front of the door to stop Bakugo from leaving.

"He's dead! He told me he would come back home! He has never lied to me! He's coming back! Please, tell me he's lying! Please! He's coming back! We were going to get married in a month!" He punched a hole in the wall. He grabbed the coffee maker and threw it to the ground. He pushed the fridge over. He kicked a dent in the side of it, breaking his toes in the process. He didn't even feel it. The pain of losing his best friend, fiance, and love of his life hurt way more, and it hadn't even fully set in.

Aizawa didn't even try to stop Bakugo from breaking things in the room. It was better than him getting charged with murder. Aizawa knew who Bakugo was talking about. It hurt Aizawa a lot to know his student died. He loved all his students as if they were his kids.

Aizawa had tears in his eyes as he watched Bakugo's world come crashing down. He knew that feeling well. He also had a lover die during battle. Once Bakugo had stopped trashing the break room and slid down the wall with his face in his hands. Aizawa walked over, sitting against the wall next to him. Bakugo started punching himself in the head over and over. Aizawa grabbed his hands and looked at Bakugo. They both had tears streaming down their cheeks.

"I want you to know you are not alone. I am here, I always have been, and I always will be. I'm not going to let you go through this alone, ok? It's going to be OK! Ok?" Aizawa never did this, but he did this time. He pulled Bakugo to his chest and held him for a while. He rubbed his back. "It's going to be OK. I promise. I will be there for you. I'm going to be checking in on you."

Bakugo tried to get out of the hug, but he just cried harder instead. He gripped Aizawa's shirt and sobbed into his chest. He always saw Aizawa as a father figure. It made him fall apart even more. He clung to Aizawa. He was so emotionally exhausted that he passed out there leaning against Aizawa.

Aizawa messaged Sero. He told him to come help him get Bakugo home. When sero got there, he lifted the sleeping Bakugo into his arms. He sniffles in his sleep, tears still falling.

Aizawa told Sero the heartbreaking news once they got Bakugo in Sero's bed. Aizawa thought it would be best for him to wake up with a friend there to comfort him.

"Kaminari isn't dead. Nothing can kill him. I've seen him in really bad situations."

"He is... his remains will be here tomorrow night.. It's up to Bakugo to decide what happens next. I need you two to be there for each other. Mina and Kirishima will be back not long after that. They are being pulled from the mission. They saw him die..." He explained. "I will be back tomorrow. I have some things to handle."

He gave the crying Sero a hug. He hated human contact, but he put that aside. He needed to be there for his kids, and if a hug helped in the slightest, he would give out a million hugs to them.

◇◇◇◇

A week later...

Bakugo had left as soon as he woke up at Sero's. He took his hearing aids out. He didn't want to hear anything unless it was Kaminari's voice.

He refused to leave his bed that had become a pile of clothes that smelled like Kaminari. Bakugo cried himself to sleep he woke up crying. Eventually, he stopped crying every time his eyes were open. He would just lay there numb, staring at the wall.

Aizawa had to literally break into his apartment to make sure he was still alive. He didn't leave after that. He slept on the couch. He would bring him drinks and food. Even if he wouldn't eat it. Today, Aizawa was tired of watching Bakugo let himself rot away in his bed.

As soon as he heard Bakugo moving in the bed, he walked into the room. "Enough of this. Kaminari wouldn't want you to let yourself wither away like this. He would want you to keep on living." He signed to Bakugo.

Bakugo flipped him off. "You don't know him the way I do."

Aizawa rolled his eyes. "I know him well enough. Get up. You're taking a shower today. You're eating something and / or drinking water. It's time." He signed as he walked towards him. Bakugo curled into a ball.

Aizawa pulled him out of the bed, and Bakugo didn't really have the energy to fight him. It made him dizzy to stand up. He almost fell, but Aizawa held him up.

"I can't... I can't do this without him..." He whispered.

"You have to move on... you need closure. You need to make a decision. His body has been in that freezer for a week. You have to put him to rest." He signed to him.

He helped him to the shower. He knew he wouldn't do it on his own. Aizawa treated him like an infant. He stripped him out of his clothes and helped into the warm shower.

"Me, and Sparky used to take a shower together every night... what am I going to do?... we did everything together..." Bakugo started crying again. He couldn't help it.

Aizawa just listened as he washed Bakugo's hair. He didn't care that his clothes were getting wet. He rinses Bakugo's hair. He turned him around to face him. "Can you wash your own body? We can talk more when we're done here." He signed.

He nodded that he would wash himself.

Aizawa walked out of the bathroom but stayed close by just in case. He picked out clothes for Bakugo to put on. After Bakugo emerged from the bathroom, he was already out of energy. Aizawa had to help him get dressed. "Hearing aids?" He signs to him.

Bakugo shook his head. He didn't want to hear anything.

"Ok." Aizawa was going to push him to try to do little things, but he wasn't here to force him to use his hearing aids. It seemed like that would be a big step for Bakugo, and he wasn't ready for that.

Bakugo wanted to lay back down, but he also knew that Aizawa wouldn't let him.

Bakugo grabbed one of Kaminari's Pikachu hoodies and pulled it over his head. He let Aizawa drag him to the kitchen. He sat as Aizawa made him food. He tried to eat it, but he got nauseous and threw up.

"You need to drink water even if you can't eat." He signs and brings him a glass of water.

Bakugo nods to him and sips the water.

"Can we start the process? Do you want to cremate him, bury, or something else?" He signs.

Bakugo hesitantly nods. "He told me he wants to be cremated."

"Ok. Aizawa started filling out the papers. He had bakugo sign the papers when it was needed. He asked him what he wanted. Once they were done, Bakugo had cried and told Aizawa more random facts about their relationship.

Bakugo fell asleep on the couch. Aizawa had to carry him to his bed.

A week later was the day of the memorial. He wore a mask and sunglasses so people wouldn't watch him cry. He went home that night and cried while getting drunk. He stared at the urn for an hour. He grabbed Kaminari's chargebolt hoodie. The same one he gave him the day he left.

"Why couldn't you just stay home? Why did you have to leave me?" He started crying again, rubbing the hood against his cheek because it still smelt like Kaminari. For a split second, he felt comfort. He felt the familiar arms of Kaminari wrapping his arms around Bakugo's waist like he always did.

Bakugo gasped, looking around. "Sparky...? .... fuck... fuck!..." Bakugo dropped to his knees with his hands slapped against the ground. Explosions crackling against the wood floor. "YOU CANT MAKE ME FALL SO FAR IN LOVE WITH YOU AND THEN DO THIS TO ME!! AHHHHH! WHY?! WHY WERE YOU TAKEN FROM ME!? I WAS SO LUCKY TO HAVE YOU! NOW ALL MY WANT TO STILL BE LIVE IS GONE! I NEEDED YOU, AND YOU LEFT ME!"

♡♡♡♡

Bakugo went MIA for four years. He paid off his apartment for 6 years with his savings. No one heard from him. Aizawa was having a hard time finding him. Kirishima couldn't find him at all. They looked for him until they had to assume that he was dead. They thought it was strange that his apartment was paid off. So they left it as it was just in case he came back alive.

He wasn't dead. He was hunting.

He found the man that got away. The man who killed his fiance. He didn't turn him in. He tortured him. He kept the man alive for months. He tortured him to the brink of death over and over. He wanted to get revenge, and revenge was so sweet. He kept the man chained up in a cave. The man would scream and beg for forgiveness, but Bakugo wasn't satisfied until he was mangled and barely breathing.

When the man's body gave out, and he officially died. He threw his body away in the middle of the ocean while on his way back home. "I did it, baby... I got him... I should've been there. I should've been on that mission with you... b-but I killed him for you. I love you..."

Bakugo got back to his apartment, which was exactly the way he left it. It seemed like someone had been staying there, but no one was there at the moment. He figured it was just Kirishima. He looked in the mirror for the first time in years. He had a beard, a mustache. His hair was long. He looked unkempt, feral. He was feral.

He dragged himself to the shower. He shaved his face completely and cut his own hair to have an undercut. He was now ready to move forward. He knew that Kaminari would always be with him because Kaminari had visited him in his dreams many times. He told him it was time to let go and that he would be fully with him again one day.

Bakugo felt a bit better now that that man was dead in the ocean as fish food.

It took him another year to put his hearing aids back in. Hearing the world without Kaminari in it always made him sad. He would just hope to hear that voice calling out to him, but he knew it would never happen.

Bakugo lived his life the best he could. He never took another lover. If anyone got too close, he would push them away. The pain of loving someone so much, then losing them, was too much for him to deal with again.

Bakugo died 4 years later in an accident while trying to save a person from a building that was collapsing. He saved the person but lost his life as he fell from a 10-story building. Bakugo died on impact. The man lived with some injuries that put him in a coma.

He didn't know he died at first… until he saw that familiar lightning bolt in yellow hair. Kaminari's spirit was standing amongst the chaos. "Sparky…?... SPARKY!" He ran to him. He wrapped his arms around his waist, picking him up.

"I never fully left you, my love… I refused to pass on until I had my best friend by my side…" Kaminari smiled and kissed Bakugo for the first time in years. Bakugo started crying from happiness. He could finally hear him, touch him, kiss him. That's all he ever wanted….

*my art 👇*

*my art 👆*

* If you made it this far, I hope you liked my story.*

#bnha art #mha art #mha #my hero smut #my hero academia #my hero academia smut #kirishima eijirou #mina ashido #sero hanta #shoto torodoki #shota aizawa #kaminari smut #bakugo smut #denki kaminari #katsuki bakugo fic #friends to lovers #angst #bnha fanfiction

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