#Extra Survival Mode! (Asks)

[eloise-t-g]

i think for me, the watcher situation comes down to this:

it's absolutely respectable that the watcher team wants to grow and produce better quality content. it's respectable that they don't want to stagnate and end up pushing the same content out over and over again. that's not satisfying for them creatively, i get that.

however, if higher quality, more heavily produced content is not what your fans are asking for, then you can't ask them to fund it.

this all-or-nothing method they've gone for is frankly bizarre. it feels like they leap-frogged all other alternatives to improving their finances and ended up here, alienating and frustrating the majority of their fanbase (the fanbase they thanked for getting them to where they are).

i think this could have gone a lot better if they:

Hadn't hyped up this video for a week.

Hadn't announced the worth it successor just beforehand.

Hadn't put out a wishy-washy, "boo hoo we're so sad about this", over-produced video.

Hadn't made it $6/month (more in a lot of countries given exchange rates).

Had considered that this means fans in specific countries literally cannot pay for the subscription due to geo/region-locking.

my ideas for improving their funds, aka things they could have tried before blowing their brand up: create their own website with two options - a free version with ads and a paid version without ads, OR make better use of their patreon/make their website extra content, not all their content, for example:

Put the ghost file debriefs on there.

Put shows like survival mode on there (or even shift that show from pre-recorded video to live-stream - live stream access to patrons and VOD access to everyone, maybe).

Put episode commentaries there.

Do reaction videos to their old buzzfeed content, talk about memories and BTS, and put that there.

Put one/two episodes of each show, per season on there (and ONLY there).

Put the episodes up there a few days early.

Make specific, website only content (that's not your main and most popular series aka ghost files and puppet history).

Record the live, in-person shows and put those VODs up there.

EDIT (thought of something else lmao): put extended or even uncut versions of ghost files on there. Paranormal Detour on Detune's twitch channel has shown that people will willingly sit through 6+ hours of a ghost investigation.

EDIT: idk, do livestreams once a week where you watch scary movies with fans on discord or twitch.

(side note: the fact that they're not taking down their patreon and instead shifting all of their podcast content on there, something the patreons who have been loyally giving them money for years didn't ask for, is ridiculous and greedy. add to this the fact that they don't even get a free sub to the new website, instead get 40% off - a measly 10% more than anyone else who subs before the official launch).

the thing for me is that they're claiming they want to make "television" and "television-grade content". that's completely fine. what's not completely fine is acting like your four episodes a month is equal to netflix's entire catalogue.

this really felt like it should have been something they told us they were progressing towards, not something they revealed to be on the imminent horizon. idk, it just feels out of nowhere. no, they don't owe us all of the info about their company. but something had to be better than this.

final thought - it's okay and valid to be upset at the team for this. for a lot of people, it's a complete betrayal (especially the comment that $6 a month is something "anyone and everyone can afford", i mean yikes). i do think some people's anger got the best of them, and some of the comments i've seen across youtube, twitter, and tumblr are plain bullying, racism, and harassment. until we have the whole story, we can't decide that one founder (aka steven in a lot of people's minds) is solely responsible. i know a lot of these awful things are only coming from a small minority of the fandom, but they still get seen.

at the end of the day, all three of them got up in front of a camera and made this video, together. that can only lead us to the conclusion that they made this decision together. acting like these men in their 30s couldn't stand up against it if they truly wanted to, is so strange and parasocial lmao.

tl;dr there were much better ways of going about this announcement, if it even needed to be made at all. however, that doesn't excuse the hateful shit being spewed at the team. for now, all we know is the three founders decided they were done with youtube, and done with their loyal youtube audience.

(i have so many more thoughts on this but i need to stop lmao. however i do wonder how different things could have been if 1. they had hired someone with actual business experience as their CEO from the jump, and 2. this video was more of a "hey we're broke! this is a last-ditch effort to save our company!". guess those questions will remain ... well ... you know ...).

[tightjeansjavi]

the feel of coldness only water brings

A/N: so this is the unplanned part two of this Joel drabble I wrote called wildflowers. I just woke up this morning to some lovely reblogs on it, thus inspiring this piece 🥺 oh, and I also thought of @beefrobeefcal and her beefy, fat! Joel fics that are so so good while I was writing this!

~word count: 1.6k~

Summary: you convince Joel to join you for a swim in a lake while on patrol despite his insecurities

Pairing | joel x f!reader

Warnings: implied smut, fluff, angst (so sorry) non specified age gap between Joel and the reader, body insecurities(Joel), self deprecating thoughts, real bodies, natural body changes with age etc, language, teasing, flirting, body appreciation/worship, peepaw!joel, grumpy!joel, sunshine reader, reader has no physical descriptions (outside of wearing a bra and panties) +18 minors dni!

Sweat beads and drips down from the base of his hairline and slowly seeps into the fabric of his shirt, staining the fabric naturally. His steel toed boots stop at the water's edge, soft ripples lapping at the worn leather with a soft audible swish. The lake is crystalline, and beneath the glass surface he sees a million different rocks, all shapes and sizes and textures. The mountain air is crisp, refreshing as he inhales deeply.

The high noon sun blinds his vision momentarily, but he welcomes it. The fabric of his shirt is beginning to grow itchy, scratching at his skin from the beading perspiration. He kicks a stray rock into water, watching as it sinks into the shallow depths.

“Joel.” Your voice carries over the water, your head and shoulders bobbing like a cork in the middle of the glistening lake. “You said it yourself, there’s no infected out here, and the water is so refreshing. Won’t you join me?”

His shoulders tense beneath the fabric of his shirt, his jaw clenches, teeth grinding. He squints, bringing his hand over his forehead to block out the blinding rays, “M’fine here, darlin.’” He chuffs out, “Besides, one of us has to be on alert.” He added, rationalizing his decision.

“Is it because you can’t swim?” It was a safe assumption to make.

He shook his head, kicking another rock with the toe of his boot. “It ain’t that.”

“Okay, so you can swim? Well, then what’s the issue? C’mon, baby. You’re practically sweating right through your shirt.” You said teasingly, hoping to see the corners of his permanent set frown quirk upwards, just for you.

“It’s silly.” He wavered, eyes casting downwards to his boots. “M’just—insecure s’all. Don’t want you to uh—see me like that.” He was never the best with communicating, but he tried with you, and that’s all you could ever really ask for.

“Joel, it’s not silly. If it makes you feel any better, you can keep your clothes on? It doesn’t matter to me because I think you're handsome, and your real body isn’t gonna suddenly make me stop feeling the way I do for you.” You reassured him with a soft smile.

“If I keep my clothes on m’gonna sink like a fuckin’ rock.” He forced out a chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck with a huff. “Y’say that now…” he trailed off, gnawing on the inside of his cheek. “But ‘m littered with scars, baby. Got grays on my chest and—m’barely fittin’ in my jeans these days. Should probably hold off on extra—”

“Joel.” You sighed, “I’m gonna stop you right there. Cause everything you just described to me?” You lifted your hands up from under the water in emphasis, “is a real fucking body. More importantly, it’s your body. You’re a healthy man, Joel. Your jeans ain’t fitting the same because you’re no longer in survival mode. You’re getting to indulge in a way that you weren’t able to in over 20 years. You're strong, but you're also soft in the right places.”

He doesn't believe you, of course. He would argue that it was because he had grown old and lazy like a house cat. You didn’t give him the chance, however.

“I love how soft and squishy your stomach is. You know why?”

He shook his head, feeling a flush creep up his neck and face,

“Because it acts as the perfect pillow for my head when we’re napping, and I love to grab onto your love handles when we’re cuddlin.’ Love to feel the way it presses into me when we hug. Or when you’re takin’ me from behind.”

“You’re just sayin’ that.” He scoffed.

“Am I?” You challenged him as you pulled yourself out of the water, dripping wet in just your flimsy pair of bra and panties.

“Don’t.” He warned you, taking a step to the side when you reached out to touch him. As if he was a frightened animal shying away. “M’jus’ a fat old man, darlin.’ Don’t gotta lie to me, sweetheart. I can accept the truth.” He was on the edge of snapping, nearly baring his teeth.

“Joel.” You said softly, “stop that. I ain’t have a reason to lie to you. Never have, never will.”

“You don’t have to protect my heart, darlin.’ S’okay. I ain’t deservin’ of your kindness. Don’t know why you even waste your time with a man like me—”

You looped your thumbs into the worn belt loops of his jeans and yanked him towards you swiftly despite his faint protests. “Would you shut up, please?”

Loose pebbles crunched beneath his heavy boots when you pulled him towards you and his hands naturally found your waist, big palms splayed across your damp skin. “Don’t you think you deserve yourself a real man? Someone who—isn’t like me?”

“You are a real man, Joel.” You gently remind him and slowly slip your thumbs from the belt loops of his jeans. “You’re beautiful, and I just wish you could see what I see.”

“Beautiful?” He scoffed, nose twitching when he felt your hands slowly slide up the expanse of his covered chest, “that ain’t me, sweetheart.” He rasped, tilting his chin downwards so he could watch your fingers gently toy with the buttons on his shirt.

“It is you, Joel. And one day you’ll wake up and realize it. And when that day comes, you’ll look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are beautiful, and you are loved, and you are deserving of kindness and softness for as long as Mother Nature lets me have you.”

He could feel himself slowly begin to cave from your words, tears pricking in the corner of his eyes, and he would claim that it was just from the blinding sun and the irritating sweat dripping from his brow. “Don’t know what I did to deserve you, darlin.’ Don’t think I’ll ever understand it. You could have your pick of men in Jackson, and you choose me?” He stifled a chuckle, dipping his chin down further so he could kiss the edge of your fingertips.

“You’re worth more than the whole damn bunch, Joel. Stubborn ass of a man, but I wouldn’t want you any other way.”

“Undress me.” He murmured, swallowing the lump rising in his throat, “M’yours.”

You smiled, dragging your thumb against his jaw and slowly tilted his chin upwards so your eyes could meet, “Remember, it’s just you and me out here. Nothin’ but miles and miles of wilderness.”

“Kiss me.” He whispered, tightening his grip around your hips, pulling you in closer.

Your lips brush, testing the waters before you fully kiss him. Tasting the sweat from his brow that had trickled down his lips. Soft, chapped, warm and familiar against your own.

Your fingers worked the buttons of his shirt open, exposing his skin to the warm rays from the sun. You pushed the strained fabric down his shoulders, letting the shirt fall to the pebbles below. You traced his scars with delicate movements, detaching your lips from his so you could follow the path your fingers created. You nipped at the softness of his bicep, pressing open mouthed kisses that trailed down his arm to his hand. You kissed each knuckle, each callous with your eyes staying locked on his.

You squeezed the soft plump flesh of his love handles, imagining yourself using them as an anchor when you would ride his cock in the early morning hours when neither of you could sleep.

You dragged your nose against the swell of his belly, feeling him tense up before melting into your touch like a pad of butter on a hot pan. You inhaled his musky scent, dragging your lips southwards through the dark hair of his happy trail, pressing a kiss there, too.

Your fingers moved in muscle memory as you undid his belt, tugging his too tight jeans over his hips and strong thighs, letting them pool at his ankles.

He watches your every move, brows furrowed together at the sight of you on your knees between his thighs. He hopes to god there is no danger lurking nearby. He wants this memory etched into his brain for the rest of his days.

He breathes out a strained puff of air from between his parted lips when you press the tip of your nose against the underside of his heavy cock, and the drag of your hot tongue through the strained fabric.

A groan bubbles up his throat, spilling over and he presses his hips into your face, the swell of his belly brushing against the crown of your head.

You giggle, nipping lightly at the fabric, feeling his cock twitch and harden. You watch his eyes roll back, words tumbling out in tandem.

“Do. Not. Tease. Me.” He growled and you giggled at his response.

“If you want more…you’re just gonna have to catch me!” You rose from your knees before he could grab ahold of you, stepping back with that glint in your eye.

“Hey! That ain’t fair and you know it!” He huffed, already struggling to unlace his boots so he could pull his jeans off completely. He cursed under his breath when he watched you dive back into the refreshing waters.

“Gonna get you back for this.” He grumbled to himself, fighting the urge to grin at the warmth that he felt flooding in his chest.

You heard a loud splash just as you resurfaced, and two dark brown eyes locked onto you like a target as you playfully swam away.

Your giggles and his deep, raspy laughter filled the hot summer air like a song that you would play on repeat, over and over again.

Banners made by the lovely @saradika-graphics 💕

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[mysticheathenn]

What Kind Of Love Do You Need?

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading is a Patreon All Tiers reading about what kind of love do you need. This can be romantic, self-love, platonic, or even familial.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

Extended Patreon Includes:

How will this love change your life?

Extra Messages

MasterList

Patreon Link

Ko-Fi Donations

Pile l:

What kind of love do you need? Tarot: The Lovers, Ace of Cups, Ace of Pentacles, 6 of Wands, Hanged Man, & Page of Swords.

Romantic. "I want a real love, dark-skinned and Aunt Viv love, [Redacted Part Of Song], That leave a toothbrush at your crib love, And you ain't gotta wonder whether that's your kid love"- J.Cole & Real Love by Mary J. Blige played in my head as I was shuffling pile l. You are in need of a healthy love. The kind of love where you both celebrate each other's wins and even losses, being each other's cheerleader, a shoulder to cry or lean on when life knocks you down, a love where there are no games just pure love, communication, and peace. There is a heavy sense of peace and fulfillment for you, with the kind of love you need. You probably have dated people who wanted nothing but to waste your time, and energy, or even unfortunately use you. You are now working on yourself and if you aren't I feel a glow-up is coming soon where you do work on yourself to help manifest this kind of love into your life because you want a partnership. A true soulmate that was ordained by stars (God, Allah, etc) themselves. There will be no confusion with this kind of love. I'm hearing Greenday- Broken Boulevard but only the part of " I walk a lonely road The only one that I have ever known Don't know where it goes But it's home to me and I walk alone" I feel for some of you those who aren't working on themselves yet you have some ways to go before this kind of love comes into your life. You may still be hurting from your previous relationship or if not still hurting you're in the energy of "Everybody ain't shit and you're better off alone." For others, it's not too far but it's also not going to show up tomorrow the window I am intuitively feeling is within the next two years. This is a long time coming for you pile l. I can feel it's something special. Patreon Post Link

Pile ll:

What kind of love do you need? Tarot: 5 of Pentacles, The Fool, The Hierophant, Ace of Cups, Awakening.

Self-Love. Singleness. Adventure. You are in desperate need of some self-love pile ll. You have been on a wild ride when it comes to allowing others into your life whether platonic or romantic and it's time for you to go into hermit mode for a while. The Tiktok audi "Be by yourself, get to know yourself" which is said in an island accent is coming to mind. You need to figure out who you are pile ll. I feel you have some sort of sense of who you are but you aren't sure if this is actually you or the you that has been crafted by social media, others and their idea of you, or your survival mode you where you crafted parts of yourself and chose the "safe" is to show others who don't like to see your full light because it dims there. There is also a need to let go of some people in your life. I didn't ask Spirit who because if this part resonates you should know. It's typically the first two names that popped in your head when you read the sentence but it's time to let go of people who are not good for you or add any kind of value to your life. Not only getting rid of people but getting rid of the old you. It's time for you to walk into a new light where you are glowing, thriving, and enjoying life how it is meant to be enjoyed instead of barely getting by day by day. You were meant to shine and not follow what everyone else is doing. You were meant to be authentic pile ll. Figure out who you are. Do things you never thought you would never enjoy and do them. Learn some new skills and hobbies. Take an Eat Pray Love trip even if it's just a trip to New York, Miami, Atlanta, Los Angeles, or even fucking Houston Texas if that is more your speed. Get out of your comfort zone. Shed your survival mode personality and shine. It's time for a new adventure. It's time to release this old story you keep playing over and over and start something fresh. What are you waiting for? Patreon Post Link

Pile lll:

What kind of love do you need? Tarot: 5 of Cups, Queen of Swords, 10 of Wands, Knight of Wands, 3 of Pentacles.

Friendship.Self-Care. There is this feeling that you pile lll are the type that likes to do everything themselves without bothering anyone. You may also like to say sorry a lot even when you didn't do anything as well as just not tell people how you are really feeling going through your struggles alone. Please stop. If you have people around you who truly care about your well-being please do let them know how you really are doing. There is nothing worse than having a friend going through things in silence and later on axe themselves off (speaking from experience). You do not have to suffer in silence pile lll. There are people in this world who would or do care about you and your well-being and want to take the load off of your shoulders. Stop being the strong independent cap that social media keeps trying to feed people with the whole grind and stay silent. Stay silent when it comes to goals until they happen, not your well-being. For others of you the kind of love you need is self-care other than taking better care of yourself this is more so having to do with your skills, abilities, and even your career. Some of you want to do more in your career whether it's at the job you are currently at, in the same field, or wanting to do something differently and this is the time to do so. Start learning and sharpening up your skills. Even sharpening up your mind whether it's reading more books maybe by Robert Greene on Mastery or Art of Seduction, learning languages, or whatever it is that you want to do to sharpen your mind ow is the time to do so. Patreon Post Link

Pile lV:

What kind of love do you need? Tarot: Ace of Swords, The Hermit, Awakening, Page of Cups, 3 of Cups

Singleness. Self Love. You may have been drawn to pile ll because they have received a similar reading to what your reading is about to hold on being by yourself, yours is just a little different. Pile ll reading was more so on finding themselves and getting to know themselves while your pile is more focused on loving yourself. Loving who you are and who you have become as a person because I feel a sense that it wasn't easy to become who you are today. You had to fight along the way to become the person you are because many people have probably tried to turn you hard, cold, assertive, or just overall mean and you had to fight to maintain a little bit of kindness, compassion, and some love you feel for others because you know that what others say and do to some people is not a reflection on you but them it's how you respond that is a reflection on you. This is a season of celebrating who you are and loving every inch of yourself. Whether you have body fat, a temper, watching weird shit, whatever it is that others try to put you down for and you somewhat have allowed to let those thoughts creep in this is your time to rebuke them and go forth in loving who you are and what you like. This is a time to go inward and really hone in the ability to not waver on what makes you you. Basically setting boundaries more so for yourself than for others while still remaining loving and kind to yourself. Your pile may also be a bit short like pile lll because it's quite straight to the point with no extra messages. The love you need is the love from yourself. Loving everything about you. Whether you hate your skin tone, voice, body, your interest, whatever it is embrace your flaws, embrace the many things people have been trying to put you down for, and let your beacon shine bright. You were meant to be who you are and nobody else. Don't let the ugliness of the world change who you are. Patreon Post Link

Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.

Stay Safe and Be Blessed

[hchano]

my second contribution to the binary stars zine.

sadly the fic, WHICH IS RLY GOOD, never got posted [long story, not mine to tell ;u;] but this was a telepath!keith/blind!shiro AU. basically keith is a captured BoM, and is sent to the arena in chains to be executed by a beast, but then a blind galra is thrown in to the arena was well, with a weapon. keith is able to convince him they can work together and using his telepathic link, shiro is able to defeat the beast.

afterward, they are thrown together more often in the arena and over time keith learns shiro is actually a human who has been experimented on and altered heavily. he also ends up teaching him about galra culture and how to navigate some of the wierd shit galra go thru [since shiro is experiencing a lot of galra instincts lol].

meanwhile the BoM are working on freeing keith, but keith will not leave without shiro :')

so in this scene, we have keith tracing coordinates on shiro's back, in hopes that he will be able to use them to escape. i do hope viper posts this fic one day but if not, just know it was rly good and liek the perfect slowburn.

extras under the cut!

so as i keep saying this was a rly good fic. i had like 5 diff scenes i rly wanted to draw but i realized i was NOT going to be able to fit any of them into only 3 pages lol… that didn't stop me from TRYING more than once tho…

attempt #1, 3 pics:

this scene is them bathing [PLATONICALLY] after a round in the arena. keith is lamenting about shiro geting hurt due to keith's reckless fighitng style leaking into shiro thru the mind meld, and thinks about how shiro still moves like he has his human body too, which shiro picks up on thanks to the mind link [which is something of a habit at this point lol]. shiro is angsting about the fact he actually dosen't know the extent of what has been done to him thanks to the injury that blinded him, and after asking to see how he looked as a human, keith ends up reassuring him that he's still a cutie lol.

the page with the dialogue only is when i realized there was no way i was fitting that scene into 3 pages lol.

attempt #2:

this scene is basically near the start to the fic. keith is brought in to the arena and chained to a pylon. he hears a bunch of rly loud monster noises and pounding at the door across the arena and is like, wow i am actually fucked 8D then shiro is brought in and thrown to the ground, along with a weapon. keith watches him try to feel around for the weapon and realizes he's blind, then calls out to him. shiro immediately goes into attack mode but keith is able to convince him that they can be allies, and briefly explains he's a telepath before melding their minds so that shiro can see through his eyes, and after a bit of clumsiness they are able to beat the beast this way :D

my designs for the boys. i have unclothed versions too that show off all their markings and scars but i feel like that would get the post flagged so these will have to do lol. i did post them on twitter tho, if you wanna bother looking there. also yes, this design is rly similar to the other contribution i did for this zine, which is because i rly like the idea of keith having these specific markings LOL. this is p much my official go to glara!keith design.

just two lil chibi guys

i actually finished this with shading, but for the life of me cannot find it, so old phone pic it is. this is post-fic, after shiro joins the bom. [so uh not so shocking spoiler, they both survive and escape lol]

[inkdrinkerworld]

Beefy!james acting like a caring mother for reader who gets so caught up in school and friends and everyday problems and forgets to take care of themselves. I can just see him take such good care of everyone around him but be extra gentle with reader, as if they are a baby.

ohh this was such a good thought baby!! i made this a little angsty my bad. mention of food, allusion to reader having a hard/tough life

it’s hard to accept help from anyone when you’ve been taking care of yourself for so long.

you’re used to doing and giving to other people, that. comes easy- but to accept and be given? it’s difficult.

you’d been running around trying to balance work and school, a social life and being there for your friends and after three months of doing it successfully james could see it starting to weigh on you.

you’re home when he gets in from practice, the kitchen smelling like tuna bake.

“angel?” he calls, worrying his bottom lip as he walks through the house looking for you.

“in the bedroom jamie!” you yell back. james finds you ironing and frowns.

you’ve got dark circles under your eyes, you look a little paler than usual and james can tell you’re unsteady on your feet.

he doesn’t like this one bit, but he doesn’t know how to bridge the gap of taking care of you without you feeling infantilised.

“baby, did you nap today?” he remembers you’d mentioned wanting to take a nap after you got back home- but now he’s not sure that you did.

“nah, didn’t bother with it. wanted tuna bake for dinner and then i did laundry.” you shrug like it’s no big deal, but it is to james.

he takes the iron from you, setting it down and out of the way.

“you can’t go on spreading yourself so thin. you need to take care of yourself, angel.” he says softly and you frown.

“i do,” you say, letting james pull you towards the bed. “i always take care of myself.”

james nods, kissing your forehead, “and you do a great job, but you don’t have to do it by yourself tonight, if you let me help.” his thumbs stroke just under your ear.

you deliberate for some time before saying softly, “yeah, m’tired.” james reads between the words unsaid, kissing you softly before hoisting you up.

the kiss serves as a way to distract yourself from crying. james is gentle like that- offering to take care of you when you’ve done it yourself your whole life.

it makes your belly erupt with butterflies and makes silver tears hang heavy on your waterline.

“baby,” he coos, lifting you off to the bathroom. “it’s okay, it’s safe y’know? to let me do it.”

you nod as he sits you on the counter, “i know, i promise.” james flashes a soft smile, kissing your cheeks as the tears tumble down.

james takes care of you like he breathes, with ease. like it’s nothing out of the ordinary.

he uses your sandalwood and jasmine bodywash, washes your hair with your matching shampoo and conditioner and tucks you into your robe after.

he combs your hair and does your skin care- he even applies your lotion for you.

“i’ll be ten minutes okay?” james says after you’re both dressed and he has some sitcom playing on the tv.

“okay,” before james can leave you grab onto his fingers. “jamie, just wanted t’say thanks.” your eyes well with water again. james thinks it’s a shame, that you’ve been in survival mode for so long and think he needs to be thanked for this- for loving you.

“none needed angel, get comfy okay?”

he comes back with two bottles of orange passion fruit juice, and two plates of food and a sleeve of chocolate biscuits for later.

“alright angel, if you want me to feed you i will.” james gets a giggle and a kiss to his jaw.

somewhere between dinner and laying on james’ chest, you feel the vibration of his words. “you deserve to be taken care of, to get rest and to get everything you want your friends to as well. if you can’t do it, i’ll do it for you- you don’t even have to ask.”

you sniffle, “i’ll tell you more often, promise.”

[hungharrington]

i looove the idea of steve putting on a few post vecna, his sweet sweet thighs and belly 😭😭❤️just completely oblivious and slightly confused to the adoration held for his softness. slow blowjob in the morning caressing his tummy and working your hand down his happy trail, before going to squeeze his cock. hands squishing and kneading his thighs as he’s sucked off, his pretty little whimpers escaping

THIS. THIS ASK HAS STUCK IN MY BRAIN AND FOLLOWED ME AROUND SINCE U SENT IT NONNIE LIKE YOU!! GET!! IT!! there is such pure adoration in this ask… u love stevie like i do i just know it <3 

it’s not that he’s skinny beforehand it’s just it’s year after year after year of living in survival mode does things to the body. steve’s on the leaner side and it’s saved his skin more times he can count, being nimble and fast. so, yeah, it does take a good year or two before steve manages to relax in his life and then at least one more for his body to catch up and let him settle. let him grow properly— give him that chub around his thighs, his tummy a proper lil pouch instead of lean and hard muscle. and to be honest, steve doesn’t really notice :’) he’s caught up in living his life fully with you happily and you only catch it, like really notice the difference, after seeing a photo of him back in ‘83 and it sets a fucking fire in you. you can’t contain it, can’t think normally about how much you adore the softness steve’s grown into with you — and it comes out the next morning, when you’re both getting handsy between the sleepy kisses. 

steve is surprised by how eager you are— normally mornings together are more of a slow cuddle fuck if anything— but today, you’re hungry for it, lips just caressing down his neck, sloppy kisses down his chest til you get to his tummy and steve loves it. he loves the view of you peering up at him, adoration in your gaze as you nuzzle along his happy trail with a content hum. your hands are soft, sweet, giving a ghost of a touch along the planes of his torso and you don’t mean to tease him, but his length pressed against your stomach isn’t enough to draw you from loving on him. it’s not til he starts squirming a bit that you notice he’s all hot and bothered, chest rising and falling a bit quick. “m’sorry baby,” you murmur, finally letting your kisses lead you lower, along his hipbone. “didn’t mean to tease.” 

you try to restrain yourself and give yourself only a minute on his thighs, little nips and lovebites, but even then steve notices it a bit, the extra attention you’re giving. he sounds a bit wrecked when he rasps his words out, “lotsa… christ, lotsa love on the thighs today, honey,” and you use that are your cue to slide his leaking cock into your mouth, pulling out this adorable soft little moan. you pull back, giving the head the smallest kitten lick, hands stretching up to his tummy for a moment, “bad thing?”you check. steve’s shaking his head against the pillow in an instant, “no! no, never. never… never a bad thing being loved by you sweetness,” his voice is all sticky with love and you know he means every word. your hands drag down to hold his thighs, kneading the softness as you start to suck him gently. the bedroom is golden in the morning sun and steve’s soft little noises, whimpers and moans, sound downright sinful and he feels so damn loved. it might just be a perfect morning.

[romanarose]

Santa Joel-y

Chubby!Joel Miller x chubby!fem!reader

Join my taglist : Masterlist

Summary: Joel is insecure about his weight, you help him feel beautiful.

Warnings: Weight gain, insecurity around weight, mentions of eating disorders and bulimia, reader was bulimic, PIV sex, handjob, brief mentions of drinking, creampie.

Immersability: Reader is fem, has hair, is chubby, reader was at least pre-teen in the 90's so not much of an age gap. Reader isn't necessarily Christian but celebrates Christmas at least with her kids at the school

**************

He would kill Tommy right now if it didn’t mean dealing with Maria.

Joel had said ‘absolutely not’ to Tommy’s request for him to play Jackson’s Santa Claus, saying yeah, he may have gained a few pounds since settling into Jackson, but he wasn’t THAT fat.

Naturally, Tommy was annoying about it but Joel did not back down. Neither did Tommy. So, Tommy sent you. You, the school teacher. You, the woman that made his heart palpitate but he did not have a crush on you, because he was 57. You, who Joel had slowly been getting to know and would even sit with him and Tommy or Ellie, both of him teased him relentlessly about his crush. You, who said that you would be dressed up as an elf and Joel agreed faster than he was proud of.

And now, you, who conveniently brought your tape measure as if you knew he would say yes, were measuring him and finding out just exactly how fat he’d gotten.

“41 inches” You declared with the tape measure around his waist. Joel was in charge of writing everything down. 

“Jesus christ” He mumbled, writing down as he was told.

You sat back on your hunches, and it took everything in Joel to not look down. For one, he did not want to look at his stomach right now, but also if he saw you on your knees looking up, he was afraid he’d get a boner.

“Joel?” You ask him, fingers adjusting his pants to measure correctly, cold fingerprints brushing his love handles.

He wanted it to stop. “Hm?” but he never wanted it to end. He liked your skin on his, even if it was touching his fat stomach.

“You know putting on weight can be a good thing, right?” You moved to stand up, being done measuring for his costume. 

Joel held out a hand for you, helding to pull you up. “I don’t really see how.”

The smile you gave was so soft and kind, it made Joel’s heart flutter. Definitely not a crush though. 

“It means your safe, you’re eating 3 meals a day, you aren’t purely on survival mode. You body is probably so used to starvation, it’s holding onto everything it can. It’s just a sign of things… looking up.” Joel didn’t look convinced. “Look, Joel…” You shove your hands in your pocket, blushing a bit. “This might be a lot but, we’re friends, right?”

Joel’s eyes widened. Friends? Fuck, he didn’t think you considered him a friend. Sure, he took the long way home after church and stopped at your house a lot, asking if you needed a hand with the shoveling. Sure, you always took him up on it and then invited him to stay for lunch. Sure, sometimes if the timing was right, Joel walked by the school as the kids were leaving and offered to walk you home. Jackson was a safe place- he’d never let Ellie run around the way she did if he didn’t think it was safe. Still, couldn’t be too careful.

“Yeah, yeah uh, we’re friends.” He agreed, buckling up his pants again.

You looked so earnest as you spoke. “Years before the outbreak, I had an eating disorder. Pretty bad, this was before Princess Diana talked about being bulimic, so there was like… not much help for that kind of thing. Had to handle it on my own.”

“Shit.�� Joel whispered, hurting for you. The idea of someone as perfect as you feeling that low that you needed to hurt yourself that way… He thought you were stunning, every curve. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. The point is, when I entered recovery- the dozen attempts it took- I gained back not only the weight I lost, but a lot extra. I found out later that was common. It was difficult, but I learned to look at my weight gain with pride. It meant I was no longer harming my body like that.” You took your hands out of your pockets and grabbed both of his hands. “I don’t wanna tell you how to think, but just know that this change means you and your daughter are safe, okay?”

Joel felt like he could pass out, his body suddenly so warm from your touch. “Okay- I- thank you, darl’n.” He blushed.

“And for what it’s worth…” Hesitating a bit, you lean in and kiss him on the cheek. You feel him giving your hands a squeeze. “I think you’re very handsome. I’ll see you on Christmas, Joel.”

*

“Why the fuck are you so giddy.” Ellie asked, mouthful, shoveling the pancakes Joel made her into her mouth.

“Wha-” Joel turned around. “Im not- I’m not giddy. I’m a grown man, you little shit.” But he was smiling. 

“Does it got something to do with the pretty school teacher you’re gonna be with all night?

Joel threw the washcloth at her.

*

Besides the fact a child said he wanted his dad for christmas, his dad who died before they came to Jackson, you thought things went smoothly. He dressed up in the costume you’d made for him, and you were in a green elf costume. You thought you looked pretty cute, if you were being honest. Joel did a good job, and after the kids cleared out and it was just you and Joel, you made sure to tell him.

“I was really impressed with you, you got really into it.” You Laughed, holding a drink as Joel flopped down on a chair.

He groaned when he settled. “God, I know I’m getting old now. Shit was exhausting. I don’t know how I can still do patrols and fighting raiders just fine but this has me pooped.”

“Kids are tiring.” You hand him his drink.

“God bless you and your work, honey. Doing God’s work there.” He said with a small chuckle and took a deep drink.

“Hm.” You hummed. “Yeah, I’m pretty tired too, mind if I take a seat?” You say, walking over to him.

“Oh!” Joel scrambles to try and sit up from the only chair in the room. “Shit, sorry, come sit here-”

You place your hands on his shoulders, pushing him down and straddling your legs over his lap, taking a seat on him. “This okay?” You whisper in his ear.

“Y-yeah,” Joel whimpers. He looks up at you hand gripping his mug of beer like a life line. 

Finishing your wine, you set the glass down and place your hands around Joel’s mug, guiding it to his lips and pushing it up. Gently tilting, you watch Joel’s throat bob as he swallows the rest of his drink, setting his glass next to yours.

“You know I think you are very handsome, right?” You ask his, running your hands over the red of the suit, feeling the swell of his belly.

He swallows thickly. “Yeah, you um… you mentioned it…” Joel admired your in your green elf costume, and he was actually aware he was still wearing the full Santa costume.

Your hands find their way back up. “And I think you are very sweet.”

“I, um… I don’t hear that one very often.” Joel’s face feels warm, that warmth spreading through his body and settling into his lower stomach. 

“Mmmmm” You touch his fake, thick, white beard, but take it off in favor of his patch greys. You kept the hat on.“And a good father. That’s a very attractive trait.”

His chest is rising a little too much to act natural. “I’m… trying…” He had a death grip on the chair handles.

“You can touch me, you know…”

Tentatively, Joel settles his hands on your hips, and when his touch makes you smile, he ventures a bit further. “I’d like to kiss you if I could.”

You look down at Joel, hands warm on his scruffy face, the red and white all over his full body. “I’d love that.” His face still in your hands, you lean down and slot your lips up against him, taking his mouth in yours.

“Mmmm” He moans, and you can’t help but grind down onto him, feeling the swell of your stomach against his. The movement caused his hardening cock to twitch in his pants.

“Ooohh, fuck, Joel.” You can’t help whining into his mouth.

His body stiffened, his grip on your wide hips pushing you back away from his erection. “Shit, sorry-”

You grind down on him agsin feeling his full hardness and kissing him wetly. “Don’t ever apoligize for that, fuck… Joel, I want you.” 

He’s still hesitant, breathless, Joel closed his eyes. “I dunno if you want that, honey. Made a real nice costume but the body under it ain’t what it used to be.”

“Joel.” You take his hand. “Do you want me? We ain’t gotta do nothing you don’t want to…”

Joel’s next words are barely ground out through gritted teeth and tightly shut eyes. “I, fuck, I want to… I just don’t think you’re gonna want me.”

With a soft sigh, you bring his hands to your chub. “Feel that?”

He can’t get words out, eyes still screwed tight.

“Do you like how my body feels?”

“So much.”

You drag his hands up your front, planting them firmly on your tits that he was happy to play with as you put your hand on his fat stomach. “Then can’t you understand how beautiful I find you?” You rock your hips, and a light whine escapes him. Joel motherfucking Miller whined for you. “Can’t you see how fucking hot you are?”

With his hands massaging your breasts, swiping his thumb over the sensitive nipples and rolling them in his fingers, his beard scrapping your face as you kiss his neck, you are fucking soaking your custome made green pants. 

“Mmmaybe?” He’s losing control, becoming needy under you, and you needed him in turn. 

“Fuck, Joel, can I feel you? Can I touch you? Please?” You beg.

When he frantically nods, you reach for the big black belt and undo it, slipping your hand in his pants to pull out his cock. “God, Joel… fuck your cock is as thick and beautiful as you are…”

Joel’s hands wander, traveling the length of your body despite being unable to open his eyes to you as you jerk him. “You’re fucking sexy, Joel, all of you. All of us. Every inch. Every scar, every bit of fat and hair loss and sagging is beautiful because we lived, we’re alive and we’re happy, and god Joel, I’m happy right now with you.”

He mumbled something you couldn’t understand as his hands groped at you desperately.

“What did you say, baby? You can say no, it’s alright.”

“Fuck me, please?”

You spit on your left hand, using it to fist his cock while your right explores his body. “That’s all I needed to hear, handsome.”

Joel helps you sit up, strong arms practically holding you up as you maneuver off your pants and line him up at your entrance. You place a hand on his meaty chest and one soft on his cheek “Joel? I need you to look at me when I fuck you, okay? Need your eyes on me when I take you inside me, alright?”

Still clearly nervous, Joel opened his eyes slowly but god he was blessed with a sight when he did. You, your green outfit and little elf hat and you smiling down at him. You were a vision. And you wanted him.

Your eyes were locked on him as you sunk down, your eyebrows pinched together in concentration as you took him, your perfect lips held tight.

“It’s alright, darl’n.” Joel says soothingly, rubbing your thick thighs. “Just go slow… You’re nice and wet for me already, arentcha? Yeah, thatsa good girl… mess girl, fuuuuuck.” Joel dropped his head back, groaning obscenely when you were fully seated, and almost dropping the Santa hat but you caught it. You didn’t want to miss out on how cute he looked in it. “Fuck, you feel amazing.”

You smile at him, feeling stretched to the very limit but so, so satisfied. “Kiss me, Santa” With your fingers entangled into his hair, you pull him towards you as you begin bouncing on his cock, repeatedly filling yourself up. His taste was exquisite, but nothing compared to his smell, he was woodsy and leather and safety, and you wanted to melt into all the senses he surrounded you with. The masculine smell, the sweet taste, the feeling of his thick member throbbing inside you and his hands gripping at your ass, his belly rubbing on yours, the sight of him, red and white on brown skin, the grunts as he thrust up… Joel was all that mattered, Joel was all you knew.

“Fuck, Joel, baby you feel so goddamn good.”

Joel moaned into your mouth, moving his hands from the fat of your sides to unbotton your green shirt.

“Joel, ‘salittle cold, don’t wanna be naked”

He paused his movements. “Is it okay if I unbutton a few so I can see your tits?” He looked up at you, hopeful but clearly allowing you to say no.

“I like that idea, handsome.”

When Joel took your breast in his mouth, he paid no mind to the way they sagged and stretched, he devoured you like you were a supermodel, licking and softly nibbling over every inch of the flesh before suckling on the tender nipple.

“Fuck!” You exclaim, bucking a bit as you rode him with everything you had. You place two hands on his protruding belly for leverage, feeling the fat on his chest graze over your fingers as you press down when you bounce. “Gonna cum, Joel, you’re gonna make me cum.”

He removed his mouth only for a moment, frequently going back to suck at your tits while trying to get his sentence out. “Me to, honey *suck* where do you *lick* want me?” His mouth was back on you in a second.

“Inside, cum inside.”

A loud whimper, and he sped up his movements, fucking up into you until you cry out in pleasure, screaming out “OH SANTA!” As you cum around him, Joel right behind. He fills you up with his warm cum, never stopping fucking you until you road out all of your orgasm and his dick was limp inside you. Exhausted, you fall onto his plush body with a cold sweat, kissing tenderly at Joel’s stubbly neck. 

Pudgy fingers were buttoning up your shirt. “‘S cold, darl’n. Let’s get your pants on.”

“Mmmmm, just a minute. Like feeling you inside me.”

“Like being inside you.”

Joel’s strong arms wrapped around you, warm and loving and pulling you closer, but then moved to your thighs. Sweetly, Joel rubbed your legs as the heat of sec cooled on your body, fingers occasionally digging into the flesh.

Likewise, you wrap your arms around his full body, feeling the way his fat felt so right against you. 

“Merry Christmas, Joel.”

“Merry Christmas, honey.”

***************

So, I don't celebrate christmas, but I wanted to put this out there <3

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO THOSE WHO DO!

@fandxmslxt69 @runa-falls @k-ra @whatthefishh @ahookedheroespureheart @mikaelak @littlenosoul @stevenandmarcslove @pikapuff-316 @del-ightfulling @faretheeoscar @harriedandharassed @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @campingwiththecharmings @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @milly-louise @casa-boiardi @joeldjarin

[simminginstars]

Updated: How I edit my sims 4 screenshots (night-time edition)

A more detailed editing tut so you can understand my process as it may help you, i edited this relatively quickly and usually spend about 1-2hrs editing something...so let's goo.....

Before taking screenshots:

Help yourself as much as you can in-game, I always make sure there is some sort of light source in my pictures or something interesting that I can add to enhance something already there

Understand good/bad composition and add variety by using different angles

I take LOTS of photos just to end up with 1 or 2 good ones

I'll just be using photoshop for this, but i also like to use the procreate app as i'm more confident w it.

step1: I check if there are any major glitches or hard areas e.g, fingers elbows etc.. that have sharp points and pull them in liquify so they are smooth. Then use curves to change the contrast.

step2: *duplicates image* using the dodge and burn tools (keyboard shortcut: o ) i'll add emphasis to highlights and shadows (be careful with these as the dodge tool can ruin the image if used in excess) *merges image* (i duplicate and merge as i go, utilise using lots of layers so you can go back if you mess up/ want to change the opacity of an effect.)

step3: making light sources POP. *new layer* change blending mode to overlay or soft light and choose a colour you like.

step4: *new layer* draw hair strands. i just use a basic round brush in photoshop and change the hardness or i'll use a sharp caligraphy type brush depending on my sims hair type. (i try not to overdo it as i like maxis hair and don't want it to look too realistic)

step5: i would then add a new layer and set the blending mode to multiply to add more shadows, but i don't feel like i need to at this point.

step6: *duplicates image* go to filter > camera raw filter, i change the "light" and "curve" panels, i like green tints in my screenshots especially the night ones. (this is where all the magic happens really so just adjust all the channels to your liking, lightroom is also really good to use)

step7: *create new layer* blending mode: screen or linear dodge (add) / makeup and finishing touches! - for this look i'll get stars and glitter pngs off google or unsplash same for the smoke, though if i'm using procreate they have free brushes for that :')

step8: add light leaks as they add some fun dynamic lighting and textures to your screenshots. (i also flip my image horizantally [image > image rotation > flip canvas horizontally] whilst editing as it's like a "fresh pair of eyes" when you've been editing for a while so you can see what looks off)

final step: merge all the layers (though i do merge along the way once i'm happy with something) go to filter > sharpen > smart sharpen. I leave it as the default setting.

extra step if u want: for party pics i might add chromic abberation here is a 60 second tutorial on youtube it makes the pic look cool and trippy.

And you're done!! congrats on surviving. if you have any questions please send them in my ask box so others can see and get help too.

[podcastenthusiast]

So that scene where you ask Astarion for sex and he breaks up with you in Act 3 if you slept with him in Act 1 but somehow missed his Act 2 romance stuff/character development.

This scene here:

(Sorry I could only find it on Tiktok. Not my video.)

What I find interesting about it is how unnecessarily mean he is. Personally I think he's trying to avoid a much more difficult conversation.

"I never slept with you for pleasure alone. Couldn't you tell?"

...Yikes. Yeah. I could tell.

"Back in the forest, we both came out on the winning side. The game was clear."

But it wasn't, though. He almost makes it sound like they both had a deal here but he was manipulating Tav, using himself like he always has, and it's like he's angry they never cared enough to notice that.

"You get a moment of escape with a world-endingly beautiful vampire. I get someone to defend me from Cazador."

Something about the way he refers to himself here reminds me of that line he says when he's bitterly lamenting the way everyone just wants his body. "There's nothing more desirable in the world than a vampire, is there?"

"I don't think, honestly, that your services are worth the cost."

...What cost, exactly? He really emphasizes the word. Plus, focusing on Tav's "services" as a protector shifts the focus away from his role in things. Astarion was the one knowingly, well, offering a service, for lack of better phrasing. This reminds me of another line of his, too, if you tell him after Araj he doesn't have to keep using himself like that, and he says "It isn't worth the scars anymore."

"This is what I do. Who do you think you were dealing with? Some fairytale prince? Haha! You are one of a tiny number of people I've slept with who aren't dead. Cheer up! It's quite the achievement."

This is so over the top extra rude. He even does his most fake laugh. Brings up his victims like that as if he killed them when we all know he was forced and there's layers of guilt, disgust, and self-hatred there.

He's trying so hard in this conversation to present himself as the monster he expects the world to see. He's saying 'yes, I'm exactly as cold and heartless as a vampire should be so don't look any closer' because in his mind it's too late to be anything else. They're in Baldur's Gate or near enough and he'll have to face Cazador soon. This is Astarion in full advanced survival mode, imo. Nothing matters but his revenge and the promise of power/safety.

He can't afford to let feelings distract him, even if that means burning some bridges with Tav. He can't be vulnerable anymore, because Tav hasn't shown him by now they could be a safe person for that.

[isa-ghost]

you have eggza headcanons perhaps? 👉👈

I will take any headcanons of course, I love your headcanon posts

Previous Sets:

Set 1

Set 2

Set 3

Set 4

Set 5

Set 6

MORE: Eggza Edition

Starting with two I made in previous sets:

When left to his own devices & off-duty as dad + not needed by any of the islanders for something serious, he let's loose. No more wise bad bitch crow man who's palpably emotionally damaged yet won't admit it. He's off the shits. You've seen Eggza. That's him de-stressing by fully indulging his favorite things: preparing necessities for survival & being an absolute wildcard.

When he heard someone on the island made up a rumor that Eggza is legit because Phil taste-tested a cookie out of curiosity, he took that and RAN. Yeah. He's egg sometimes. Who's his parent you ask? Well that's a secret (it's Rose).

Remember how I said he commits to bits super hard? Yeah. Eggza is his second biggest bit after the 4th Wall existentialism but it's quickly surpassing it to his biggest one

Genuinely he enjoys his Eggza time. Everyone knows they'll get nothing but task help out of him more or less, so they more or less leave him alone unless it's to say hi or a chance encounter.

Everyone finds him speaking with signs funny and endearing. Except Tubbo. But that's understandable, dyslexia go brr. Even though the fool sometimes forgets he can tts the signs. It's fine, he's most likely to derail Eggza's cookie grinding so it's better if Tubbo stays away doing Tubbo things

He's torn between the kids witnessing Eggza & never witnessing Eggza. He can't tell what's funnier or if he'd be embarrassed. They've heard stories from other eggs though

He has no interest in making himself Look like an egg. The sign usage is all he needs. And its funnier when you approach your grown ass man best friend Philza Minecraft only for him to look as wild as he did during Purgatory but without the Looks Like He's Dying Slowly part & refuse to talk to you verbally. The "what the fuck is happening here" is the best part of Eggza, if he starts LOOKING like an egg everyone will understand what's going on and that's lame

He bounces off everyone's energy. The more unhinged they are, the more unhinged he is. Unless he's harassing the baker. Then he fuels his own fuckery

The funny thing is he makes sure everyone thinks he's constantly this wild gremlin that only knows one thing: Grind. But really if no one's around while he's grinding, he's actually just straight up vibing. Got headphones in, blasting his jams, doin his work. In his lane, unbothered, flourishing.

I would sell my soul to see Eggza beat the ever-loving shit out of Purgatory workers it'd be so fucking funny holy shit

One of his favorite parts of going Eggza Mode is amusing his friends with the way he's just a nonverbal weirdo. Especially when he answers something they say by just dancing

If He's An Extra Silly Gremlin They'll Give Him Avocado Toast As A Treat

No one knows where he shoos his crows off to when he's Eggza. Or if it's some unspoken "ok time to scatter" rule as soon as he puts the gas mask on by the bakery. But they disperse and for a while, the other islanders can't shake the feeling of Phil seeming strangely bare for some reason. It's bc the murder is away

Tbh I bet even without the Hardcore dreams, he'd sleep a long time with how hard he works as Eggza

"Hard work," I say, as if most of the time Phil isn't just making mobs insatiable amounts of horny so everyone can give the baker what they're asking for (the awareness of this is half of why he's so unhinged as Eggza, it's too absurd & funny to him)

Calling back to another prev non-Eggza hc I made, he has less of a filter when he's not parenting or in peril. He has said some absolutely wild out of pocket shit on signs

If given the right kind of motivation, an islander could probably get Eggza to go feral and kill something or someone. Fit tosses him a stack of whatever arbitrary item Phil might find enticing enough atm & Phil is suddenly on a spree like he was with those bunnies that one time

[mydetheturk]

your requested reminder to post knives going nuclear on zazie when you can :)

ok so im going to be reblogging this to the body horrors week later cause. uh. well. knives. quite literally goes nuclear?

all of these screenshots are from the overhaul project cause i haven't managed to catch the dark horse digital editions on sale yet, though i'll provide the dark horse translations where i can because i have physical copies, and the dark horse translations are imo clearer here.

there are ids in all the alt texts for the photos, it's why this took several days longer than i'd originally planned -finger guns- alt texts might look a little weird in the first set btw - tumblr started eating the photoset and i had to spend an extra half an hour fixing it -finger guns-

the pages are volume 11, pages 90-92, and 114-17, because a lot of the pages in between are leadup pages and also have the zazie control worm. thing.

pages 90-2 are the distant explosion (you can click on the first image and see it in the photo viewer, if for some reason it will not view in dashboard mode. But it does exist!)

(on page 90, dark horse is a lot more specific, with "the northeast sky is glowing" instead of "the whole sky is glowing". the other two boxes with text read "what is--?!" and "oh my..!" respectfully as if they were cut off mid sentence.)

so uh.

knives went uh.

literal "nuclear bomb exploded just above a town"

because he kind of did. Unlike a true nuclear bomb, he did not form a mushroom cloud, but the metaphor is still there. that is a nuclear metaphor

per pages 114-117 (pages are from left to right, read the pages right to left. sorry)

(legato's speech bubbles on page 114 in the dark horse edition read: Survival of the fittest is the law of nature. What is about to happen now is a just a logical extension of that. Be very afraid. You are in his presence. Did you not notice, Leader of the Sand Worms?

It reads very differently, imo, more like Zazie was caught up in their own plots and schemes to realize the control worm didn't work. Legato is also telling Zazie that Zazie should be afraid of Knives. Okay? Not asking if Zazie is afraid. Telling Zazie to be afraid. Like some sort of reverse "Be Not Afraid" from the bible.

Zazie's thought bubbles on page 115 are translated as "the dark hole is swallowing the poison" which reads more like knives made a black hole. given the visuals? that sounds more likely. Black holes, as a real life thing that we know about and have tried to study, are often referred to as swallowing things that pass too close. knives made a mini black hole to eat the poison from the sand worm venom. knives has consumed the dependent plants.)

the fact is, as a metatextual read, plants are nuclear reactors. independent plants are walking nuclear bombs. Nightow did this on purpose. We're meant to read them as something nuclear.

This is, as i was saying to @needle-noggins the other night when i was working on it in an attempt to get more of the alt texts written, a casual display of power. Knives is throwing a hissy fit! Knives is throwing a multi-megaton display of power because Zazie tried to take him over with the control worm. Page 91 had needle-noggins and i speechless because on the low end that tower of debris from the explosion is (if we did the very, very rough math right) THIRTY MILES TALL. Twice as tall as the tallest mountain in the solar system, Olympus Mons! or roughly five and a half times as tall as Mount Everest. On the outside, because we figured its anywhere from 25-30 times taller than the cloud cover, it could be up to thirty seven miles

Over halfway to space on earth.

like.

I know we love the independent plants and all. But Holy Shit. just.

holy shit

[pulsar-ray]

nobody asked but have my Branch headcanons :

MENTAL ETC

boy has autism. i'd say level 1 . big sensory issues & needs VERY LIMITED amounts of input. poppy helps desensitize him but. i like to imagine him with little sunglasses & headphones. a little odd socially too . he was always an outcast but you know what? we ball . he balled. he made it.

it's MY headcanon so i get to assign him a delicious dash of paranoia. maybe ppd? probably not ppd. but still very paranoid. ocd perhaps or severe gad at the very least. he thinks everything will kill him or is against him, severely. he tends to isolate when he's nervous. he copes by talking things out with poppy who is always so understanding & encouraging of him to try new things. they r in love <3

severe depression, pdd or mdd . he has to take medication [do trolls have medication. probably. it's , uh, holistic] but poppy always reminds him & makes sure he's on track

ptsd from the abandonment & grandma thing. sorry singing killed your grandma brother.

regresses as a way to cope because :3 i said so. the 'stuff' [pacifier] is LITERAL!!!! he only told poppy [he didn't tell her. she found out when he had an involuntary episode in front of her. she was confused but she loves him so it went well] & she is :3 about it. "ohoohoo my baby branch my bitty b ... yes you are" she thinks it is so cute but he is embarrassed . in tbt he revealed it a little to his brothers. &

john dory - doesn't really get it but likes seeing him be a little guy

bruce - just treats him like one of his kids tbh

clay - no way he also regresses. they are buddies

floyd - overprotective big brother mode all the way.

totally has meltdowns from overstimulation & poppy just. takes him to a dark quiet room & he thrives in there .

FAMILY

relationships....

john dory - big 'i hate you... bro' type of relationship. they don't get along but they respect each other. if my opinion of john dory changes maybe they will get along better. not now though/

bruce - COOL OLDER BROTHER!!!! branch looks up to him but he really also looks up to branch like.... bro survived on his own like that.....:cry: they are a little awkward sometimes but bond over engaging in activities together

clay - "hey buddy" "hey pal" ":}" ":}" very chill around each other. just calm. clay has similar symptoms in his autism so they get each other

floyd - besties for life... as much as he;d never admit it branch is So emotional so they talk things over & bond over deeper things like trauma & missing family. they are besties GENERAL

gets greyer some days & poppy ALWAYS makes an extra effort on those days to make sure he knows he's loved

hates the sensation of sneezing so much that he chooses to avoid new flowers/textures in case of allergies/dust [autism, baby]

can't really sleep. struggles with feeling alone at night but if he's with poppy he feels. odd & strange. why is there Somebody in my bed ?!

because of that last one he just passes out everywhere. boy is the eeper for real

had a crush on poppy the whole time since movie 1.

lowkey wishes he was 'normal' & cries about it sometimes. does this lead to meltdowns? occasionally.

was absolutely not a biter as a baby. mouth textures BAD!!!!

in the same vein, very picky eater. literally will starve instead of eating the same meals every week. mad respect for that branch i'm the opposite

hates gum with a passion. the texture the taste the noise is all terrible

gets very destructive when overwhelmed. like. screaming crying yelling hitting. but! poppy did a seminar on neurodiversity for those guys in there so they . kind of get it. they help branch not to get overwhelmed

i may do a part 2 if i remember more categories/hcs. god bless you branch

[bots-and-cons]

Hopefully this hasn't been done before, but this is a request for headcanons. In a world where Cybertron eventually gets rebuilt, what would Knockout/Starscream/Soundwave be eager to show to their human S/O? Perhaps a potential date locations/activities or maybe just as thanks for being willing to share Earth culture with them now that they finally have the opportunity to do the same for them? A chance for S/O to see what they're like in their element, when they're not worried about an ongoing war?

This was a bit hard to write, since honestly I don’t know much about Cybertron itself or the places there, so I just kind of came up with my own things. I mostly focused on the whole “A chance for S/O to see what they're like in their element, when they're not worried about an ongoing war?”, because that struck me as most interesting about this ask. Also I elected to ignore the fact that humans can’t survive on Cybertron without a spacesuit, because I felt like it would be an extra hassle. I didn’t do Screamer, sorry, and I feel like I went off topic… There's also this post that's a bit similar

~Soundwave~

•You’d taught him so much during the time you spent together on earth and now he wanted to return the favor

•There were also a lot of places he wanted to show you on Cybertron, of course a lot of them were still in the process of being rebuilt or still in ruins

•One that was being rebuilt was the amphitheater that once served as the venue for the gladiator fights

•He has some fond memories of that place, but back when it was destroyed he didn’t really have much of a reaction to it, it seemed insignificant at the time

•But now that it was being rebuilt, he felt like it was a new beginning somehow, the place where he’d met Megatron and started his life as a decepticon, was now being made anew, and he had a chance to make a new life for himself too

•He of course doesn’t quite explain it to you like this, but you have an inkling about why he wanted to show it to you

•When the war was going on, you always felt like Soundwave was in this perpetual state of being tense

•It’s not like he had much time to relax after the war ended either, but he’s not as on edge all the time anymore

•He’s most relaxed when he’s with you and he has this new kind of peace now that he’s home

•You very quickly realize that he was never like this back on earth

•It’s not like he’s much different, but it’s like with the combination of having you and being home, he’s found himself again

~Knockout~

•Oh boy, Knockout has so many places he wants to show you

•He drives you around the ruins of the biggest cities and shows you the places where he used to race

•There’s a ton of rebuilding going on now that Cybertron has been rejuvenated, and the refugees are returning to their home

•Knockout is definitely the nostalgic type, and he wants to show you all of his favorite places

•But the sad fact is, those places don’t really exist anymore, they’re mostly in ruins

•Knockout does manage to find some old pictures on a datapad that he had stashed away, and he tells stories about all the places he can

•It’s so nice to see him reminiscing about how his life was before the war, especially now that it’s over, and he doesn’t have to be in survival mode anymore

•Knockout has also come to the realization that he might want to spend some more time on earth, instead of staying on Cybertron

•Now that the war is finally over, he has come to realize that his time with you is limited, since your lifespan is so much shorter than his and he doesn’t want to waste a second

•During the war it was just a fact that anyone could die at anytime, so while he loved you deeply then too, he was always prepared for the fact that he might lose you

•Now that there’s not that kind of threat anymore, he isn’t so mentally prepared for the possibility anymore

•Anyway, Knockout is happy that his home is back, but he isn't really ready to return yet

[i-cast-bardic-inspiration]

Halsin with a Tav who had a toddler? Like they get back to Baldurs gate or theyve been nursing an egg(for the Gith and Dragonborn Tavs) that’s now hatching.

Pls let him be the dad he’s always wanted to be 🥹

Okay, first off thanks for sending in your request! I hope it’s alright to do this in a mix of headcanons and narrative blurbs because I have too many ideas for this wholesome content. Also, if I interpreted your Ask wrong please let me know and I’ll amend! 

But alright, here we go—let’s give our Big Bear some love and let him be Daddy Halsin because he deserves all the best things. 

*TW: Pregnancy talk, mentions of past trauma, wholesomeness so wholesome it hurts

Halsin will be in shock for a brief moment before going into Daddy Halsin mode. This man has just gone through the most traumatic hundreds of years; in pure survival mode after losing his family, being held prisoner in the Underdark, dealing with the Shadow Curse and all that it has brought upon him—he never once during that time was afforded the opportunity to simply…live. He always focused on doing what was necessary to survive. So now that he finally can let some of his walls down? Now that his lover just told him they have a child? 

He looks at you frozen in disbelief…he never thought he would be able to have his own family. And now you’ve given him one of life’s greatest joys in the mere blink of an eye. His whole world has turned on its axis in the best of ways and he needs a moment to find his feet on the ground again. 

Whether it’s biologically yours or you’ve adopted, it doesn’t matter—he views it all the same. He is in awe, deep gratitude bursting forth for this bounty of nature you’ve provided him with; that you’ve invited him to share.

“My heart…you,” Halsin’s voice breaks, “Why did you not tell me before?” the question falls past his lips with a tremble, but there is no trace of anger or hurt in his tone. Only awe, tinged with a soft skepticism as though this moment will slip through his fingers and he will wake to find it was all a dream. 

You tell him why. Maybe it’s because you were scared he wouldn’t want anything to do with you or your child…maybe you didn’t want to distract him from all that still needed to be accomplished…maybe you didn’t want to add another burden to his already heavily-weighed-down shoulders—whatever it is…

He understands your fears but tells you to put them to rest because nothing—absolutely nothing—could ever deter him from loving and caring for you and your child. He is more than willing to step into the role of a father…if that is what you should wish of course, to share this part of your life with him…

As soon as you give him the affirmative, he is all over you. Wrapping you up in his strong embrace, placing kisses wherever his lips can reach before settling his face against your neck and inhaling deeply. Your scent calms him, and he needs it to ground himself after the revelation that he finally—finally—has the one thing he thought he’d never have again…a family. He is a dad. 

He’s a dad! 

His deep laughter echoes through the air. He’s overjoyed, a little scared maybe too, but his unbridled joy is contagious and you find yourself tearfully laughing along with him. 

With your invitation, he quickly stepped into full dad mode, and wants to unleash all the doting upon you and your child that he possibly can. 

If the baby has not been born/hatched yet; he’s all about using his skilled hands to melt the tension from your feet and calves and anywhere else you might be tense from carrying the weight of another; letting his healing magic wash over you when your head is pounding and stomach is churning from the extra hormones; making sure you have proper nutritional meals to keep your stamina up…his healer capabilities really kick into high gear here.

If your little one is already in the world, they immediately take to Halsin like a moth to light. And he takes to fatherhood just as easily. It is a precious and priceless thing to watch the two of them bond so quickly. You knew he would take to it naturally, having all the qualities of a loving and supportive father. He was always a wonderful listener, he was just as good of a teacher, and he still held so much wonder and love for the world even after all his years. His zest for life was contagious and played right into the natural curiosities of a child. 

Beneath all of the stoic wisdom is a man who loves to play. Loves to experience everything life has to offer. And it shows when they decide to have storytime before bed…or any other time your little one asks for stories. Which is a lot of the time because Halsin is rather good at it. He could be a bard if he wanted. But all he wants is to see the expressions of wonder on your child’s face, the shrieks of laughter and gasps of surprise filling his ears as he twists and turns the stories, acting them out with grand gestures and motions. 

Sometimes storytelling evolves into playing “Adventurers”—or so that’s what the two of them call this game anyway…you call it pure chaos, but you don’t mind one bit. Not as your little one rides on the back of a giant wildshaped bear through the forest, roars and laughter tickling your ears. You join in at times, and it usually ends in one big giant cuddle pile as morning turns into afternoon and sleepy little eyes close for a short nap. It’s at times like these his heart threatens to burst, and you can see it in his eyes—feel it in the way his fingers trace your jawline and move softly, reverently into your hair…soon you’re drifting off in the peacefulness of it all too. Halsin just lays there holding the two of you in his arms, listening to your soft inhales and exhales. In the slow moments is when he really feels it hit him. How contented he is. 

They’ll go on walks around the forest together, sometimes stop to examine a plant or a flower, your child asking Halsin 123812378 questions about everything they come across, and he answers every one of those questions with the utmost of patience. He genuinely loves to share his knowledge with young and curious minds. You can tell by the way his eyes light up, and how his voice excitedly carries across the meadow as he explains things like how flowers grow from the ground with the help of the sun and water and air. 

He even asks some questions of his own to get your child thinking and talking, and also just to be silly and play: “what kind of animal would you be?” ~ “what is your favorite thing to eat?” ~ “do you think cats can have fins?” ~ “what is your favorite thing to do with mommy and daddy?” 

When your child is sad or upset, he is there guiding them through their big feelings. Oak Father knows, Halsin has had his fair share of coping with tough emotions through his years. Even with all the practice he’s had though he still gets overwhelmed at times. Children need help getting through these sorts of big feelings, not to be admonished or chastised for feeling something natural. Of course while he usually spends time wildshaped when he needs to think, he knows that might not work for a child, and there are certainly other solutions. Like physical connection—hugs, and holding a safe space for your little one to feel. Maybe they need help labeling what they’re feeling, and Halsin is right there ever-observant and gentle with his words, “I see that you fell, does it hurt anywhere? Were you scared when you fell from the tree?” Your child responds tearfully, “it was scary,” so then after a quick scan Halsin knows he doesn’t need to mend any broken bones. He just needs to hold them and tell them it’s okay to be scared and to cry, and that they are very brave for doing so. 

It’s moments like this that you find your heart swell with fondness so vast it nearly hurts. Because you know how capable of ferocity he is, how much strength and fortitude he has shown in battles past…that seeing him like this, so patient and supportive, so loving and gentle…you know he has finally been able to take the armor off both literally and figuratively.

He walks lighter, laughs louder, plays harder. His love knows no bounds, and he makes sure the two of you know it with every breath he takes. With every scratch he mends. With every toy he whittles. With every blanket he tucks in and every kiss he lays atop a sleepy little head. With every word and kiss and hug…he embraces this simpler but no less meaningful side of life with arms opened wide.  

One day, after a very important and engaging conversation about “daddy, where do babies come from?” your little one asks him another question. “Daddy, can you and mommy make a baby?” His eyes lift to find yours, a heat there so smoldering you swear you could feel it sweep over your skin in a dizzying rush. “Little One,” he starts, tearing his gaze from you to look down softly at your child, “would you like that—a brother or sister to play with?” Their little eyes light up and they shout “yesyesyes!” 

Halsin’s smile lines deepen as he laughs loudly. “You will just have to wait and see my little heart, all will be as nature intends.” He knows that is a conversation to have with you in a more private setting. Though he’s pretty sure he can tell by the speed of your breathing, the flush of your face, and the warmth in your gaze that you are no doubt feeling the same sentiment he is in that moment.

Adding to your little family might happen sooner rather than later…and he definitely would not say no to having more little ones running around.

[shuttershocky]

hey shutters!

this one is quite a lot to ask so forgive me in advance, but could you help me understand the difference between the guard archetypes?

I understand what aoe, arts fighter, ranged and duelist could be useful for, but brawler, crusher, dualstrike, enmity, liberator, reaper and instructor confuse me quite a bit, I can't figure out what their uses would be

First off, better to use the archetype names in-game instead of the fan names Gamepress insists on using for some reason, since Duelists in game are a Defender archetype, while Gamepress uses them to refer to Dreadnoughts. This will help you get less confused once you start playing the other game modes with interactions for specific archetypes.

Now I will explain each in the order that you gave (but with the correct in-game names for "Brawler", "Dualstrike", and "Enmity")

Fighter - Block-1, low damage, punch very fast. These guys are usually relegated to being pseudo-vanguards cleaning up trash enemies whenever vanguards are banned, because their DP cost is the smallest, though the 6 stars have more than a few extra features. Mountain especially, is an AFK laneholding god since he can become Block-2 and gains incredibly high HP regen.

Crusher - I'm going to be real with you, these guys were a mistake. The highest Max HP and ATK stats in the game don't make up for a very slow ATK interval and 0 DEF. They can act as meatshields for your other operators vs Arts and True damage because their max HP is so high, but otherwise don't bother with them. Unless you love them (like I do) then you can max them out, use them in battle, win anyway, and feel like a big brain.

Swordmaster - Swordmasters are funny because their trait isn't a real part of their identity whatsoever. They have low ATK compared to other guards, but hit twice per attack. This doesn't actually matter (because even with skills that charge per attack, they only charge 1 SP with both strikes). What they ARE known for, is being the technical Guard class with a wide variety of powerful nuking skills and weird talents while also tending to have anti-air capabilities. Each Swordmaster is very different in usage. Bibeak has a spammable stun, Tachanka uses a gun instead of a sword to hit from long range with a normal attack, Cutter is a cheap 4 star who either throws throwing knives or does an AOE slice around her (both skills can hit flying units), etc. They shine best in alternate game modes like IS where they tend to have hilarious interactions with the powerups there, but are able to hold their own in the normal game mode.

Musha - Musha can't be healed (not exactly true but this is for another time), but heal themselves with every attack and rely on their huge Max HP, big ATK stats, and talents that increase their ASPD the lower their health is to survive. Since they can't be healed anyway, there's no point keeping them near your team, so Musha are usually used to "plug" lanes by putting them right in front of the enemy gates and made to fend for themselves. Since they're only Block-1 they won't deal with hordes of trash so well, but if you learn which red gate is spawning the dangerous enemies that don't come in groups, a Musha strong enough to win a 1v1 with them can free up a whole defensive formation by themselves. Alternatively, their big stats and increasing ASPD also make them good drop-in assassins, especially Utage, whose S2 makes her start any deployment at half HP but in turn deals arts damage on attacks.

Liberator - They don't attack, have terrible ATK stats, and are block 0, but in exchange they slowly charge up their ATK stat for every second they aren't using a skill until they get +200% ATK after 40 seconds. When they DO use their skill and finally attack, they deal monstrous AOE damage and gain a wider range than most other Guards. Mlynar is a Liberator who is infamously regarded as one of (if not the) strongest operators in the game, thanks to his S3 having huge range and even more gigantic damage that instantly crumples anything lower than 3000 DEF. Not attacking, not blocking, and waiting to fully charge their ATK may seem inconvenient, but the extreme damage they deal can hard carry a squad through even very difficult stages.

Reaper - Reapers have a unique horizontal attack range that lets them do a sweeping AOE attack. They can't be healed like Mushas but don't have the giant stat heft that Mushas do, but they do have Block-2 and heal for every 2 units they hit (though they can hit way more than 2 enemies with their attack). They are tailor made for dealing with hordes meant to overwhelm you with sheer numbers, but thanks to their horizontal attack range I've found you can also put them into a melee tile out of the way of enemy paths. This can perfectly align enemy pathing with their horizontal attack range to get free damage on whole groups of enemies at once. You can also defend a big lane made up of two lanes by putting two Reapers side by side so their attacks overlap, which deals with most hordes well enough.

Instructor - Instructors have long-ranged attacks with their whips which lets them hide behind other, stronger units, but their real purpose is usually to provide said stronger units with support buffs, their own attacks only meant to be supplementary damage. I say usually, because the strongest Instructor, Pallas, is used as a primary DPS in alternate game modes like IS instead of being a buffer. This archetype is rather unpopular because most people would rather put a second DPS instead of a support, but they do have their uses now and then in funny meme strats involving gigabuffing one unit.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday lovely readers :) I love any episode with Lucy/Tamara in it. Add in Tim? Makes an amazing thing even more so. I love this one for delving into Tamara’s past a bit, how Tim helps Lucy without a thought, and the bond between Lucy and Tamara. Such good one let’s get going.

4x11 End Game

We begin our episode with Tamara and Lucy. It’s clear Lucy has been up all night researching. Tamara asks why? Lucy tells her legal research. That kid Tyler she cited out last episode ended up stealing from a liquor store. He felt stressed to pay back the dealer he lost product for. Unfortunately he gave the store owner a heart attack. Luckily the owner is out and ok.

She’s been up all night trying to finds ways for the state to show him leniency since the owner is fine. I love both of them calling Chris the ‘clown’ from the DA’s office. Might be my new name for him. Chris the clown. It’s fitting. They have a lovely moment as Tamara refills her coffee and brings it to her. Saying this kid is lucky to have her backing him.

That she knows she was. Best thing she ever did was steal Lucy’s car. I mean it’s true haha I love Tamara being more open with Lucy. Showing how grateful she is that Lucy took a chance on her like she did. Tamara saying crime pays actually. In this case it does tbh. Heh Lucy says she’s cute when she walks away. It’s such an adorable mom/daughter open for them.

We see Mr. Clown shortly after Lucy arrives at the station. She is gloating that the store owner survived. Chris agrees with her that he’s happy she survived. Lucy questioning how true that is. She tries to get him to charge Tyler as a minor but Chris refuses of course. Schmuck. Lucy starts to tell him studies and he’s so condescending to her. Saying not to quote studies at him. I hate it so much. I dislike him greatly...

Tells her he will only charge him as a minor as long as he’s a CI for his crew. This is where Lucy really goes off on him. Both barrels and pulls no punches whatsoever. Chris is finding this amusing and I want to clock him. Calling her dramatic too. You don’t know her like that ya clown. So rude to say. Tim coming into the convo asking if everything is ok? I love that. Protective Husband is in the building.

The way she spins around to face Tim is hilarious. His face and posture LOL Lucy saying she can’t believe the nerve of him calling her dramatic. She sees his reaction and tells him don’t start. Haha Eric is the king of facial expressions. He doesn’t disappoint in the least here. His face conveying ‘ I didn’t say anything…’ Even though his body language is saying everything. Laughing so hard at his reaction.

Such a hubby move here. Doesn't say anything but she knows what that reaction means. HIs silence saying more than he ever could. He’s smart enough to know when not to engage her in a fight. Be more married you two please. Lucy is in full wifey mode here and my heart is so happy. Also my god the forearms/biceps. Phew lord. Love to have those wrapped around me like a blanket. There is just so much to love about this mini moment.

It’s the next part where we hit peak married vibes. Tim knowing her so damn well. Pinpointing why she is so friggin keyed up. Asking exactly how many cups of coffee she’s had this morning? God these two know each other so damn well. Lucy doesn’t lie and says she’s just going to apologize right now LMAO

Knowing how she’s going to be the rest of the shift for him. It’s so funny. I love her self awareness knowing she’s gonna be extra cause she’s hopped up on caffeine. Good thing Tim is actually is so very fond of it even though he’s exasperated at the same time hehe. She’s so cute I cannot.

Tim’s reaction to her reply is the best part. No one does the eye roll better than our guy. It’s so funny. It makes me laugh every single time. Lucy knows what she’s done and is just owning up it to ahha I love these two idiots so very much. Her saying it’s going to be a long day for him. Oh he’s well aware of that one my dear. I love them so much makes my heart hurt haha

Tim and Lucy are called to Lopez’s homicide. It’s a 18 year old girl killed and dumped. Tim is confused why Angela needed a sergeant. She tells them she didn’t. Just Lucy. Asking if she knows her? Lucy tells her no. Angela hands her the phone and says Tamara does. Pic of her and this girl as her Lock Screen. Hence them being looped in.

Cut to them retuning to her apartment. The marriage theme continues in this episode. Except it goes from sassy poking fun husband and wife. To very sweet and supportive husband for his wife. Being a sweet mom and dad tag team for Tamara in this moment. Which I adore so much.

Lucy is feeling lost and not sure how to handle this. You can tell as she enters the apt. She’s honest with Tim. Replies 'I don't know.' When he asks how she wants to handle it? Lucy tells him she’s done death notices before. But never for someone she cared about. Handling it as a cop vs as a roommate are different approaches. I love how Tim is watching her as she talks out her thoughts. Not judging her but wanting to support her. Knowing this is part of her process.

She is torn and Tim decides for her. Telling her just to be a friend and he’s got the cop part for her. I love this sfm. Letting her be the soft empathetic friend in this moment. That if she needed someone firmer or more business like to tap him in. Tim knows she wants to be the caring and soft one in this moment. Because he knows her so well. Wants to relieve her of the burden of being a cop right now. To let her just be the caring friend and if she needs a cop he will handle that portion for her.

It seems like such a small gesture that comes across as so much more. You can see Lucy visibly relax when he tells her this. Thanks him for this kindness. He has her back in more ways than one. I love their bond so much. Knowing exactly what the other needs in moments like this. He’s so soft for her I cannot handle it. Just being the best supportive work hubby he can be. Such growth makes my soul happy.

Gives Lucy a chance to relay the news to Tamara in the way she is most comfortable with. Solo in her room. It so sad to watch Tamara take in the news. Not believing Lucy at first or not wanting to really. Lucy confirming it by the phone that was found at the scene. Telling Tamara how sorry she was. I love Tim giving her this private moment alone with her. To be empathetic, caring and all the things she would need in this moment. Let her be Lucy her friend and roommate and not the cop.

Once they’re out of her room Tim is apart of the convo. Officially in cop mode now. Lucy asking if there was anyone her friend Becca was afraid of? Tamara says no but they hadn’t talked in 3 months. With school and her moving in they lost touch. Tim steps in and asks 'Any idea where she was crashing?' She tells them mostly the street, sometimes shelters, some families let you crash on the floor if they had room. Her last known suggestion is a darker one.

It's where we get a peak into Tamara’s past and it's grim. You can see it all over Lucy’s face as Tamara speaks. How her heart is breaking for her. Killing her to think she ever had to do ‘swiping’. Hitting her like a ton of bricks. You can see the pre-tears in her eyes from hearing all this. The protective mama in her wanting to hug and protect her. To never let her experience that ever again. Tamara can't even look at them while she explains it. Breaks my heart.

Tim can read Lucy like a book once they’re back in the shop. They’re talking about the men they found on Becca’s phone but her mind is elsewhere. He knows she’s upset and asks her if she’s okay? I’ll never be over this portion of his growth. Him actively engaging in personal stuff with her. Giving her his advice and caring. Being 100 percent genuine in all of it too. My damn heart. He’s also just so damn good with her. Just like she is for him. The shop where they supposedly leave their personal lives at the door is a rule that never really existed for them.

He provides such a comforting environment for her to share in here. I love him being the one to reach out for this. Lucy engaging right away with him. Voicing everything she was feeling about their convo with Tamara. How it worried her that Tamara knew right away about the swiping idea. Asking Tim’s opinion if he thinks she’s used it herself? If she gave that impression to him?

Tim doesn’t answer so much as shoot a question back. Asking if she’s ever mentioned it to her before? You can hear the hurt in her voice. See the pain in her eyes as she speaks. Telling Tim as close as they are she won’t talk to her about her past. I can see why Lucy would be hurt by this. I can also see why Tamara doesn’t want to talk about it. She probably feels shameful about some of what she did to survive. I can only imagine what she had to do pre-Lucy.

Tim’s reply is perfection. What I love most about it is that it’s coming from experience. At least that’s how it’s coming off to me. We all know how hard it was for Lucy to crack the nut that is Tim. How she scratched and clawed for him to open up to her. Tim had a painful past and lot of reasons to be closed off. But that didn’t stop Lucy from pursuing that relationship with him. It was slow but so very worth it. Tim telling her not to take it personally.

That it might just be hard for to open up to her. It’s not Lucy it’s Tamara's own stuff preventing her from doing so. Just like it was for Tim. Lucy kept knocking at that door till Tim answered. Now look at him. He shares things with her. Deeply personal things. Is giving her advice on her own personal life. Look how far we’ve come. It’s these moments I love the most. The ones that show us how damn far Tim has come. How far they have come as a pairing.

It’s unreal to watch and so rewarding. It’s why the slow burn works so damn well for them. We get moments like this. Where Tim sees she is upset, reaches out, and even relieves her worries. Also once again using his past experience to help her out. Knowing it was hard for him to start to open up with her. That took time for him too. Applying that to his advice for Tamara not opening up just yet. You can see she feels lighter after their talk. Nodding her head agreeing with his advice. Relieving her of her worries for the time being at least. Tim being every bit the supportive husband here and I love it sfm. The emotional intimacy between these at this point is off the charts amazing. *sigh* I love them so much.

They return to the station to watch interrogation. Lopez has one of Becca’s clip talk guys in the box. Angela comes right at him. Doesn't waste time after he admits he knows her. Saying she knows he used clip talk for sex. In exchange she got warm bed and a meal out of it. He is instantly defensive. Thinking he’s been brought in for something she did or said. Is an ass outright calling her crazy cause she’s homeless and possibly on drugs.

Lopez cuts him right off saying she’s dead. Asking where he was last night? He stumbles and says he has nothing to do with it. That he did see her for few minutes but his GF was coming over. (Classy SOB..) Angela asks what she wanted? He says hot meal, shower, place to stay. But told her to go cause his GF was on the way. I love the way Tim leans forward as they get to heart of his story. He continues on saying Becca threatened to tell his GF if he didn’t give her money.

Telling Lopez all he had was a 20 dollar bill on him to give her. After she left he said he noticed Becca swiped his Cerus Watch. Which he paid 10K for. Lopez following up saying he couldn’t file a police report or it would expose his secret. Lopez cycles back to our couple. Lucy telling her she didn’t have a watch on her body. That she either sold it or whoever killed her took it and did. Tim says they'll ask Tamara where they think it would be pawned.

We find Tamara catching up with her old life. Visiting with friends she knew. My guess is she felt guilty about not talking to Becca all these months. Wanting to reconnect to help herself grieve. One of her friends telling her how proud Becca was of her. That she missed her but was so happy to see her move on. It’s then we see Tim and Lucy pull up. They all get nervous and Tamara tells them they’re cool.

Lucy is in mom mode asking how she is? Tamara tells her it’s a lot to be back here. She is trying to put up a brave front. Pretend she’s ok. So she avoids saying anymore by asking if they found anything? They update her on the watch Becca took. Asking her if she know where she would pawn it? Love Lucy seeing her hesitancy and reassuring her it’s ok. Also not wanting to leave her there. In full mom mode I adore it. Not wanting to leave her there but not having much of a choice atm.

They head to the pawn shop Tamara suggested. Tim doesn’t mess around or mince words with the owner. Saying they’re looking for a stolen Cerus watch. The owner gets defensive and says they just come into his shop accusing him of this? Lucy comes right at him too.

A tag team of confidence and unity. I love it. Her reply is feisty af. ‘Of purchasing stolen property from homeless teenagers? We are accusing you of exactly that.’ Get em Lucy! Gah love them being this bad ass united front. This guy goes off on a rant how he’s a lifeline for these kids. Lucy shows him the pic of Becca. Tells him this watch is what got her killed. He sighs and pulls it out to show them.

Saying it was brought in yesterday and shows them who brought it in. It wasn’t Becca….it was the kid Tamara was visiting. The look of realization washes over them. That beautiful silent communication of theirs kicking in. A shared look of worry washing over them. Tim asking isn’t that Tamara’s friend? The one they just left her with...

We cut back to Tamara talking to him. Asking if he’s ok? He say no. She starts to apologize she hasn’t been around. We see Tim and Lucy racing to get back to her. Such great cinematography in this scene. Declan starting his confession and it flits back to a worried Tim and Lucy. They're trying to get back to her as soon as they can. You can see the panic/urgency written across both of their faces.

Declan tells her how Becca was going to go back to school. Use the watch to get her started with it. She wanted to be more like Tamara. He starts to get emotional saying she was going to leave him too. You can see the shift in Tamara as she see’s where this is going. How he mentions he tried to sneak the watch out. That she caught him and he pushed her and didn’t mean for her to hit her head like she did. It’s then Lucy and Tim roll up like the BAMFS they are. Lucy all but jumping out of the shop to get to Tamara.

Tim cuffing him immediately. Once he's secure Lucy turns to her asking her if is she’s ok? Not expecting the response that she gets. Tamara finally putting down her walls and being honest. That she isn’t ok and runs to Lucy for comfort. I love this hug and Tamara finally turning to Lucy and being vulnerable. Lucy’s reaction is so sweet as she holds her tight. Such a nice moment for them. Adding to that growing familial bond between them.

The clown catches Lucy on her way out. I hate writing about him but I also don’t love writing about Ashley either. But they are apart of this season thus in my reviews when I have to. Lucy is straight with him. Says she isn’t in the mood for anymore bad news. He tells her he cut a good deal for Tyler. That he won’t have to be a CI. Just 6 months in Juvie. Probation till 18.

Clearly trying to impress her with this deal. Because let’s be honest if he had his way that kid would’ve been screwed. He did this to get on her good side. To me Chris was always kinda clueless but a little manipulative as well. I.e. This deal to impress her. Never liked him or thought he was good enough to be in her presence let alone date her.

This scene is a good bookend to how the episode began with Tamara’s gratefulness. Except this ending portion is a lot more sincere. No jokes involved. Makes me emotional as she thanks Lucy for everything she’s given her. Tamara thanks her for helping her leave it all behind as well. That if not for her she could've ended up just like Becca. Their scenes are always so good. Thanking Lucy for getting her friend justice.

Lucy not taking credit for that. Saying she did that for her. It’s true she guided them most of the investigation. Without her tips and such it would’ve taken them so much longer. I love Lucy telling her she doesn’t need to worry about what could’ve been without her. That’s she’s safe now ❤️ This next bit is so good. Lucy bringing up talking about her time on the street.

Tamara telling her not right now. Lucy bringing up she doesn’t have to. She doesn’t even have to with her. Just someday talking to someone would be good. So it doesn’t sneak up on her. Because it will. She is not wrong...It did for me. I took too long to talk to someone myself. I had a random run in with a sweet old lady who was a client of mine. She commented on my earrings. Asking where I got them? I said my mom with no real emotions attached to it. She looked me in the eye and said ‘Your mother must love you very much.’ I wanted to cry because I wasn't sure how true that was.

I swallowed my complicated emotions and my racing thoughts. I thanked her. But it triggered something in me when I got back to my car and I cried. Because it brought up all the emotions and feelings I hadn’t talked about with my mom. I texted my baby sister about it. She told me it was time to seek some therapeutic help. I did and it's helped so very much. So Lucy is so very right if you don’t talk about it. Suppress it for too long it sneaks up on you.

This is such solid advice once again from Lucy. Therapy and talking it out does wonders for the soul. Because if you don’t It’ll eat at you slowly. Take away from your present. Such a lovely way to end the episode for them both. I always love me some Tamara/ Lucy eps.

~~~

Side notes-Non Chenford

James and Nyla being cute af. I truly love them together. They work so well.

Also more cute James/ Wes moments about the pregnancy and such. I do love their bromance so.