#FOR REAL GENUINELY THERE IS N O CONTEXT

[rebelliousneferut]

long-distance misunderstandings | jude bellingham x verstappen!reader

summary; a compromising photo that poses a threat to your relationship with jude

genre; angst, fluff

face claim; annie schröter

note; english is not my first language.

as soon as i saw the photo i knew i had to write something about it

masterlist!

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

wagsgossips

liked by y/nverstappen, yourbestfriend, footballwags and others

wagsgossips the 21 y/o real madrid star was seen last night in california in the company of his england teammate trent alexander arnold. but it was not that that caught our attention, but his closeness with a girl whose identity we still do not know.

jude bellingham has been in a romantic relationship with y/n verstappen, the younger sister of the triple world champion in formula 1.

are there problems in paradise? follow me so you don't miss any news

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y/njudefans you are creating drama where there is none. it is a simple photo and we don't know the context behind it.

username he is a footballer, that already makes him a cheater

username i agree

vertappenssource was max's warning not clear enough?

username i saw it coming, she deserves better

username poor y/n:( i always thought she looked more in love than him

username for god's sake, stop assuming things and creating meaningless gossip

sunshine streamed through the window of our shared madrid apartment, casting a warm glow on everything it touched. except me. my phone, usually buzzing with life, lay silent on the coffee table. the cheerful chirping of birds outside mocked the turmoil brewing within me. a single picture, a single stolen moment, had shattered my world.

jude was in california for a commercial shoot. missing him terribly, i was holding down the fort back in madrid. social media, my usual source of joy, had become a minefield. a gossip page had exploded with a photo: jude, seemingly handsy with a random girl at a party. the caption screamed betrayal. my phone had become a vessel of concern, overflowing with messages from worried friends and fans.

"he wouldn't do that," i whispered, denial laced with a sliver of doubt. i knew Jude. i knew his loyalty, his unwavering love and i knew how harmful the networks could be. yet, the photo gnawed at me, a seed of suspicion taking root.

i decided to take my phone, just because i knew how worried my brother would be until now and i had to talk to him. and almost as if he read my mind, a video call from him came in

"hello liefje," he muttered, almost as if he was expecting me to explode at any moment. "i know how things may look right now, talk to jude before you do anything rash, you know how the media is."

"I know, it just took me by surprise. and I'm not going to lie, it hurt me a little but i know there is an explanation behind it." i told him, even though it wasn't a compromising photo, seeing him so close to another woman had made me think.

"in any case, let me know and i'll go beat him up." max answered me, pretending to hit his fists which made me genuinely laugh.

after talking to max for a while i felt calmer, but i still knew that i had to talk to jude, who i had not responded to for hours because i knew that my feelings were going to betray me.

days bled into one another. calls from jude went unanswered, my voicemails a silent plea for explanation. the silence stretched, a suffocating weight on my chest. i retreated into myself, a fortress of hurt and confusion.

then, the door creaked open, shattering the suffocating silence. jude, his face etched with worry, rushed in, his arms outstretched for me. i flinched, the photo flashing in my mind.

"where have you been?" he sighed, relief washing over his features. "why haven't you been answering my calls?"

his voice, laced with concern, chipped away at the walls i'd built. tears welled up in my eyes, a torrent threatening to burst. i thrust my phone at him, the photo accusingly displayed on the screen.

jude's brow furrowed in confusion as he looked at the picture. understanding dawned, followed by a wave of frustration.

"baby, i know what this looks like, but she was there for a photo. the media just took everything out of context, i would never be able to lie to you, you know." shame colored my cheeks.

"i should have called you," he admitted, his voice laced with regret.

i reached out, taking his hand in mines. "i should have trusted you," i whispered, the words heavy with unspoken hurt.

the silence that followed wasn't suffocating anymore. it was filled with the promise of a new beginning. we spent the night talking, clearing the air, the misunderstanding dissolving in the warmth of shared apologies and renewed trust.

the next morning, i woke up to the gentle sunlight and the feeling of jude's arm wrapped around me. he pulled me closer, his lips brushing against my ear.

"maybe next time, we travel together," he murmured, his voice a husky whisper.

i smiled, a genuine one this time. "no more long-distance misunderstandings," i agreed, snuggling closer.

the internet storm eventually subsided, replaced by messages of support and well-wishes. our love story, a little richer for having weathered a storm, continued, a testament to the power of communication and trust.

judebellingham uploaded to their story;

[caption; my one and only]

[dre7m]

NSFW ALPHABET — j.bellingham

smut

send requests but be specific!!

A)AFTERCARE

jude is so sweet for aftercare. he’ll clean you up and hug and pepper you with kisses afterwards.

B)BODYPART

he loves your throat and waist. he will forever wrap his hand around your throat and grip your waist at any possible moment.

C)CUM

he loves to cum inside you and always will, whether that be your ass,pussy or mouth. although seeing your face painted with his cum is a huge turn on.

D) DIRTY SECRET

he secretly wants you to take control and dominate him, but he’ll never admit it.

E)EXPERIENCE

he is young and therefore is not that experienced, until it comes to you obviously. as time has passed he has learnt his way around your body and knows exactly what he needs to do to get you off.

F)FAVOURITE POSITION

jude doesn’t have one, but he loves any position where you both can look at him mercilessly ramming into you from a mirror.

G)GOOFY

he doesn’t really try to crack jokes but he smiles once a while as you and him both know his smile is so attractive.

H)HAIR

he is groomed, but he doesn’t take it that seriously.

I)INTIMACY

he loves intertwining hands with you whenever your doing it and will make sure you’re comfortable.

J)JACK OFF

he prefers to go through videos of you guys, masturbating being his last option as he prefers the real deal.

K)KINK

to your shock, jude is secretly such a kinky guy. he loves the dom/sub dynamic and loves abusing your skin, leaving hickeys for everyone to see.

L)LOCATION

his house is both of yours preferred location. the more privacy, the better.

M)MOTIVATION

just you, not much context needed.

N)NO

he’s open to everything you are and if you don’t/ are uncomfortable he won’t do it.

O)ORAL

he prefers receiving. seeing your eyes as you peer up at him turns him on crazy. also something about your bruised knees always gets him going.

P)PACE

usually he is quite rough and fast but it honestly depends on the situation.

Q)QUICKIE

due to this job, you always find yourself in a changing room or guest bathroom, terribly controlling your moans.

R)RISKS

you both love the thrill. enough said.

S)STAMINA

he could genuinely last all day and it feels like he won’t stop fucking you until hours at times.

T)TEASE

he is the biggest tease. constantly pushing your buttons, grabbing your waist and whispering dirty things into your ear at any opportunity.

U)UNFAIR

following back to the previous point, he’s such a tease and therefore very unfair.

V)VOLUME

he is quite vocal, always praising you.

W)WILD CARD

he loves watching a bulge appear into your stomach; constantly pressing down on it which just adds to the pleasure.

X)X-RAY

he is huge. not as thick but very lengthy

Y)YEARNING

high. very high.

Z)ZzZ

he won’t sleep until he knows your okay.

[dior-luxury]

twst reactions

~ pretending to flirt with a guy online ♡ crack / gn. reader

[c]  ࣪⋆་ ˖ .  ︶⏝︶⏝  ୨ ♡  ୧ ⏝︶⏝︶   . ˖ ་⋆ ࣪

-[i] ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯     း   " Sorry if this sounds kind of rushed besties, time and stress is a thing sadly... o(TヘTo). But enjoy! ☆⌒(>。<)."  ͮ     𑄹

pairing] Idia, Ace, Kalim, Vil cw] . (g/c): game of your choice. عزيزي: ‘Dear’ in Arabic. Amoureuse: ‘Sweetheart’ in French.

Idia Shroud:

It´s no secret that he´s used to people being flirty over video games before since he even went through this before. It happens more in games that have voice chat.

He usually is right by your side when your playing video games, either playing two-player or co-op games is his favorite.

Idia tends to have a fiery side to him that is only available at 3 am or and has a vast range of emotions. It was curious how he rarely showed it, and why it piqued your interest so much.

You then decided to test if you could maybe unlock the side of him.

You quickly texted Idia that you wanted to hang out and chill... it has been 10 minutes and you were currently playing on the new Xbox he got as Idia was chilling on his bed looking at his phone.

Finally, you felt like this could be the right time to prank him!

You put on the headset as you felt Idia glance at you. Then you went to play (g/c). As you finally went into the lobby, you then smiled evilly as you fake laughed.

The sudden laugh caused you to look as you confused mixed with curiosity... ¨Y/N, who- what are you doing?¨ He said as he put his phone down to then walk over to you.

You felt a guilt bubble in your stomach as you gripped the controller tighter than before. You then brushed it off as you went back to (g/c).

A few more minutes went past as you kept this whole act going. Then later when your (g/c) ended, Idia looked at you annoyed. ¨Y/n-shi, you still have to tell me who your talking to.¨

Idia groaned as he looked at you dead in the eyes with your startled face.

Idia pouted as you looked at him with your smiling features holding in your laugh.

Ace Trappola:

Ace is generally kind of a clingy person in general so it would be kind of hard to prank him without him knowing or even being by your side 24/7.

Not to mention, Ace could probably read through your actions like a book (yet he can't read through emotions. so good luck.

The moment you ever pass through a sly comment when you're talking to "someone else". his head darts over to you.

"Y/N, who are you talking to~' He'd say in a cherry monotone, then his mood shortly changes when he hears obvious flirts come from your lips.

Ace isn't one to become territorial real fast, but that comment triggered something in his brain. He is quick to action, as he makes his way over to your frame on the floor.

Then he takes the headset off your head mid-speech, and he then speaks into the microphone himself. For there only to be no answer.

he rolls his eyes handing the headset back over to you.

"Ace it's a prank," You say as you let out a chuckle to yourself. But Ace only scoffs as he then begins to lay in your lap.

"I know."

Kalim Al-asim:

Kalim seems to be on the more chill and forgiving side of the whole jealousy scale. During situations like this on the other hand... he's internally panicking.

He can't believe what he's witnessing! You, the most lovely, loyal, and prettiest person; flirting with some random guy!

This poor guy wouldn't even try to find the context of what's going on, in front of his eyes too!

He sighs in defeat as he flops on the ground near you, "عزيزيwho are you talking to? :(". Kalim then begins to stare at you.

With only your confused eyes meeting his. "Sorry, what did you say?" You took your headphones off your head.

Kalim then pouts as he runs to back-hug you.

In case you actually were genuinely flirting with the guy online, he would never think you would willingly do that because, as I said, he loves you with every fiber in his body <3.

As he pulls you closer, you gently rest your head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry Kalim, it's a prank :(".

He sighs, "I couldn't believe that you were 'flirting' with random guys online! What if he was serious? What if he wanted to take you out? Or get you to go out with him? Or something-"

You give him a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Kalim, you don't need to be paranoid. I wouldn't go out with random guys online." You chuckle as you look at the sad puppy in front of you.

"Okay :("...

Vil Schoenheit:

Vil for one isn´t one to encourage staring at a screen for anything under 15 minutes since he generally believes that it leads to lazy behavior.

But you were testing his patience right now, weren´t you? The sound of your laughter presumably talking to someone. He wouldn´t ever mind as much as if you two were just talking...

But, nope. You were occupied 'flirting' with someone over a video game you both were playing.

Now Vil never was the type to jump to conclusions... but he could tell you were just enjoying as much as the person you were talking to was.

A burning flame of jealousy filled his system as he eyed you from the current place he was standing in the room. Vil is an insignificantly jealous one only when his s/o puts compliments, praises, and flirty comments out there... when they are not for him.

He sighed as he went over to where you were currently sitting, extending his palm out for you to hold. ¨Amoureuse~, Sweet Potato... Will you tell me to who you are singing those praises?~ You are saying them to my face.

Vil said tenderly as he pulled a sly and jealous smile on display. You responded that you were talking to one of the people in the lobby you were in.

Vil´s smile seemed to get more conniving as he went to get up, ¨Well tell them that you have a boyfriend.¨

You chuckled as you pretended to say goodbye to whoever you were talking to, Then got up to calm Vil down who was fuming inside.

[nekropsii]

man what I hate about the fandom excusing the Dave blog with the n word like "it's not IN the comic so it's not canon" is that in THE comic, Hussie was way too obsessed with having Dave rap about segregation and slavery as quips one of the first raps even referenced the slur negro, which textually went over many people's heads (because "it's just "black" in French") when the context was racist white men in segregation-era and how they pronounced that very closely to the well-known slur, pronouncing it with "knee" these types of raps weren't just in Act 1, it was even in Act 3 it's so uncomfortable considering Hussie said "I just type out how I'd talk" when it came to Dave's dialogue, considering his humor and how those raps and the blog came into light it's so annoying how people keep suggesting it's not IN the comic at all- like it's giving "read it once 5 years ago and never freshened up on it while still debating it", y'know?

I'll give as many sources to what you said here as I can, just so people listen more. Wasn't able to track everything down, so some things are more up in the air, but overall, you're on the money.

[Blog of Dave Strider- February 17, 2010.]

I heavily agree and identify with your frustration. Just because it's "not in the comic" doesn't mean Hussie didn't write it and that it's not worth evaluating. This isn't a case where you can disregard it for noncanonicity reasons, like Post Canon. This was written concurrently with canon, and therefore it reflects the political mindset of Hussie during the time of writing Homestuck. That much is valuable information. What I will point out is that the next paragraph here contains yet another phrase that is rather telling of Hussie's... Racial vocabulary.

Definitely not the most comfortable thing in the world, to put it nicely. Haven't personally seen it get mentioned, and I feel like it's apt to bring up here, since this is the closest I've seen Hussie get to the big Hard R. Typically, they default to Soft A, which doesn't make it less racist, but does have a different... Vibe, so to speak. It's more hateful sounding.

Moving on.

[Andrew Hussie's Formspring- Feb 24, 2010 - Mar 7, 2010. Exact date unknown.]

The fact that Dave is a near exact emulation of Hussie themself in speech mannerisms, down to the lifting of entire chatlogs, is telling. As we've seen from Hussie's past work, he was clearly... excessively comfortable with throwing around the N-word, as a white man. Why would Dave be any different? It's hard to argue that Dave's racism is "not indicative of Dave's flaws, but indicative of Hussie's", when Dave as a character is both a product of Hussie's mind and a direct extension of her. You can't truly divorce the two. Dave is racist because Hussie is racist. Dave is an extension of Hussie.

[Homestuck, Act 2, page 294- June 23, 2009.]

I believe this is what you were talking about in reference to that particular version of the N-word being used, as well as the references to slavery. This is in Act 2. I couldn't find much in Dave's other raps, outside of his fixation on the idea of Black presidents as a novel concept... Other than this.

[Homestuck, Act 5 Act 2, page 2825- November 1, 2010.]

Apparently using the term "Urban" to refer to Black people, culture, art, and music is a recurring Hussie-ism, even in Homestuck. Rose also uses this a couple times, notably more than Dave does. It sees more usage in Problem Sleuth as well- unsurprising, considering it is an older work than Homestuck is.

[Homestuck, Act 4, page 1590- March 17, 2010.]

[Homestuck, [o], page 3879- July 2, 2011.]

[Problem Sleuth, page 62- March 15, 2008.]

TL;DR: I don't think there's any real excuse to leave Hussie's racism out of genuine discussion of the contents of his works. It's obvious. The only valid defense for leaving it out of analytical conversations is ignorance, because... Well, some people just aren't that observant. Homestuck does not exist in a vacuum. Hussie did, in fact, write this, and Hussie is, in fact, bigoted. Bigotry shows throughout their works not because they're spinning a grand narrative of overcoming your moral failings, but because they kind of just suck. Dave isn't an exception, and shouldn't be divorced from the context of having been written by Andrew Hussie. There's no debate to be had over the existence of Hussie's bigotry, because contesting such a clear cut fact is pure stupidity. It's like arguing that evolution isn't real because you, personally, do not understand it, or don't find it comforting. Hussie's bigotry is one of the only things we can be 100% sure is a real part of his personhood, rather than another figment of his ironic online persona. The level of "Well, Actually"-ism people will engage in over this is mind-numbing, quite frankly.

Thank you for the ask- people being aware of the racism in Homestuck keep me sane. Have a lovely day.

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

I've made. S o m a n y. Attempts at analyzing Vox's relationship with the fuckin Angel & Val bullshit. So many. But they always come out sounding like fucking word salad. So instead, I'm going to try making a bulleted list of all the different pieces of evidence I've gathered, and then simply not draw a conclusion because I don't fUCKING KNOW-

Vox does not like Angel

Vox seemed excited at the prospect of Angel quitting(despite knowing he physically can't?)

Like his eyes *literally* lit up he was so excited(the same way Velvette's did when she was yelling about wrist ruffles & Carmilla's did during Whatever It Takes)

Saying "Angel quit?" could've been him joking, but between his expression, tone of voice, and the context surrounding the line, I don't think that's the case?

That line is weird as fuck man...

There are two reasons Vox doesn't like Angel: Val constantly freaking the fuck out over minor Angel-related things & he's probably jelous of how much space Angel takes up in Val's brain

Vox does not seem to care for Angel's well being, probably viewing him as nothing more then a cash cow

I say "seem" and "probably" because it IS significantly more likely that Vox doesn't give a shit, but we haven't seen Angel & Vox interacting one on one yet, so there's still a chance I could be wrong and Vox does care in some capacity? Again significantly more likely he doesn't I'm just trying to cover all my bases here

Which speaking of- we don't know how Angel feels about Vox at all? Like aside from Vox's cameo in Poison(Angel's pseudo-dream sequence), we don't actually get Angel's perspective on Vox. Ever.

Like I'd assume Angel doesn't LIKE him just by virtue of his relationship with Val but there's no real way to tell?

Vox(seemingly) hasn't done anything to deal with Val's weird issues with Angel

He probably can't get rid of Angel entirely because of the loss in profits

But he also hasn't attempted to limit Angel's ability to leave the studio or anything, and he hasn't done anything to Val that might discourage his irrational behavior

He's actually pretty hands off when it comes to all of the other Vees' shit just like. In general. The only time we see him interfering is when Val is destroying Velvette's stuff

Vox doesn't seem to give a shit that Angel moved out of the studio

Like he isn't even happy about it just true neutrality-

He only STARTS caring when Val starts threatening to shoot up a building about it(read: when his image is now on the line)

The look Vox gives Angel in Poison just kind of proves he. Doesn't like Angel. And is kissing(but appearently not dating???) Valentino.

The fact that the blood drips, which are usually on the left side of his mouth, are coming off of the right instead during this scene FEELS important but that's another topic entirely so I won't go into it here

Also, as stated before, Poison is a pseudo-dream sequence, so this scene might be less about how Vox views Angel and more about how Angel views Vox

But if that's the case, I cannot for the life of me decipher what the fuck Angel feels about Vox from this one shot so it's pretty much useless for now 💀💀💀

Alright that's it. I tried my best to be impartial and just write down what we know about the characters while also pointing out any gaps in information we might have, but if you think I'm being too generous or too harsh with any of these bullets and feel the need to tell me, PLEASE be nice about it and also use tone indicators. I don't wanna sound like a whiney baby or whatever the fuck but I genuinely cannot handle feeling like a stranger is yelling at me rn and tone indicators help me a LOT in that department.

[byz-was-here]

I was thinking about Aunt Wu from Avatar the Last Airbender and then I suddenly went

Wait

Hold on

THIS IS A WORLD WHERE MAGIC IS REAL

Like. There are people who shoot lightning and dance with dragons

Sokka's first girlfriend turned into the F u c k i n g M o o n

Spirits are real and they definitely fuck with the real world

Why WOULDNT there be a genuine Divination expert walking around???

Point is, in the context of the setting, it's completely reasonable to assume Aunt Wu is the real deal.

...that village still should have kept sending someone to check the volcano though. Genuine Seer or not, divination is no substitute for common sense.

[heartsoji]

"so i heard that you rejected kenji-kun."

you choked and started coughing. "how...did you hear about that?"

"he's my friend. known him since like kindergarten."

"oh.. yeah. that was kinda.. i don't know." you laugh nervously. if you're being honest, you're a little worried because you just kind of rejected one of your crushs best friends and you don't know what's gonna happen between the two of you.

"serves him right."

you whip your head around. "that's what i'm saying!" you instantly agree. technically, he never asked you out. however, he posted weird stuff about you on his main story on snap and sent you occasional snaps saying stuff like "10/10 would smash" in response to some cute snaps you sent of yourself to everyone as your streaks pic. people constantly told you that he was creepily obsessed with you and you had never even met him in real life. so, you told him off and blocked him. however, you were scared that this would change osamu's perception of you. however, this didn't seem to be the case.

'he's honestly hella sketch. stay away from him, he's a little.. interesting."

"aren't you guys best friends?"

"huh? kinda. i've known him for forever, but i'm only friends with him because suna's friends with him."

"really?"

"yeah. but at any rate, you're way too good for him." he said, giving you a nonchalant glance.

you could feel your cheeks heat up a bit but you play it off as best you can. "i'm so sorry but he actually looks like he's 7 years old."

he just laughs. you meet his eyes and you two gaze into each other's for a few seconds longer than normal. you quickly look away and try to change the subject a bit.

"oh, by the way, i heard from yuna-chan that your friend group talks about me sometimes. i heard from kenji-kun that it was probably about you guys thinking that he likes me, but yuna-chan said that you guys were talking about me before he even added me on snap. what's that about?"

that probably was not the best subject to bring up, but it was whatever. you were curious, after all, and he probably wouldn't tell you the truth anyways.

"oh.." he began, meeting your eyes. "they were talking about me.. liking you or something."

you jerked in surprise, but tried to keep your cool. "hm. 'sit true?"

you didn't actually expect a genuine answer, but to your surprise, he answered with a simple,

"yeah,"

your cheeks heat up and you know it. "really?"

"yeah. do you?"

you pause for a moment before replying with an equally simple answer. "yeah."

"cool."

then with that, he pulls you in for a gentle kiss on the forehead. although you can't see them yourself, you can feel your cheeks burning.

"i'm home!" atsumu yells, bursting through the doors. as he walks into the lounge area, he notices you two.

"y/n-chan! you're here! wait.. what's with the mood?"

"we confessed to each other." osamu answers simply.

atsumu takes a moment before shrieking a loud, "YEEEESSSS!" and giving you a big hug. (for context, atsumu is gay in this bc i truly believe he is canonically gay and its better that he can basically be a sister to you and give u hugs w/o osamu wondering if atsumu likes u)

"MY SHIP! IT SAILED! OMG Y/N YOU WERE MY FIRST CHOICE FOR ALL THE GIRLS LINED UP FER SAMU!"

you giggle and blush slightly.

"SO ARE YA GUYS DATING YET OR WHAT?"

"no, we aren't." osamu answers.

atsumu's shoulders droop.

"not yet, anyways."

[occasionaloneshots]

Absolutely no clue what the rest of the context would be but I’d like to see Wyatt Oleff and Joshua Colley play each other’s love interest in something. Both of their acting styles come with very organic line delivery that makes them feel so human. A Wyatt Oleff character has never felt like just a character to me, his characters always feel so real and human. And Colley is so good at changing his style to fit the character he’s currently playing (Monty is so organic and human while Hook is so theatrical- you could feel his theater background come back out with Descendants:ROR). I’d love to see their acting styles play off of each other and them being love interests just makes it where their characters would be interacting more often than not.

I don’t really care the context to be honest, they’re both actors I’d follow to any project (I say that but I could n o t finish “Senior Year” I hate Rebel Wilson movies, I was uncomfortable and had to cut it off). I’d love for it to be horror to get Oleff back in the scene. And I think Colley could make such a good scream king. Honestly I’d love to see the two of them thrown into a Deena/Sam dynamic or a Stu/Billy dynamic (I want them to play genuine villains at some point in their careers as well even in a separate context. No morally grey redemption arc , let them go ape shit. But that’s not the plot)

Anyway, I’d love to see them work together, that’s the post

[seokjinsonlyone]

Why didn't anyone tell me we were getting delulu?!!

Okay for context, I have zero (actually minus) experience, esp when in comes to seduction (I'm about as seductive as a wilted spinach leaf). BUT, if something like this were to happen:

I'm going super delulu ultra pro max with this but I think I could get jk. Look, ik if just go upto him and yada yada, not a chance (or the skills). BUT. I have this air about me that screams, 'not available', (I've had it for the longest time, & I won't be able to turn it offf completely if I wanted to) and accompanied with my seemingly cold + idgaf attitude I would grab his attention with littlee effort. My boi loves a good challenge and I think I'd give him just that, with a sweet reward. But if it was just this maybe I won't have the chance, but see it's my first time, and I'm a naturally awkward, socially anxious potato, *and idk how my tsundre and liddol baby selves coexist but they do) so if not challenge I'm bound to call out some of his protective side. And a mix and match of both and I think I can get the boy + I don't get dressed up often so when I do I know I look good so the confidence would be cherry on top.

On number two we have tae. Ok the reason he's not on no. 1 is my lack of social energy, I just don't have the skills or the confidence to go up and strike a convo like that, so I'd be relying on my mysterious charm and red lipstick. So why on 2? Bcz I think I could invite him with just an appreciative gaze that shows him I genuinely like him, plus a smile that calls him to come and sit so I can compliment till his ears turn red bcz 1 thing about me is I know how to compliment and also recieve them with confidence. From here we can either go full flirting and then to room to bada bing bada boom or be invested in whatever convo we're having and become besties bcz once in I'm not losing him and I think he'd like to have a real friend (that will turn into fxb bcz I didn't waste all that energy for nothing).

Jimin would be on no.3. Ik it can be awkward but he's also fun and flirty, but if I go and calm his nerves a bit (which is the only time I get confidence to strike up a convo and don't suck at it) I think I could get him. There's something about him that summons my fun and flirty side out, so I'd probably start with some playful flirting and then there's no stopping us cuz soon we are staring into e/o's eyes, smirks tucked on the corners of our lips and maybe playing with each other fingers. I think most of all it'd be him I'd have genuine fun with, plus I think he'd have good time when our flirting energies match and then the next thing I know he's dragging me through the crowd to his car.

On 4th is yoongs but idk know whether I'd just want to talk to him and form a connection with my long lost soulmate or do the thing bcz as soon as I see the man I want to settle down, get married, and sit on our living room sofa with my head on his lap as he plays with my hair.

I'd agree where yoongi is subtly horny so I'd play my cards on that. I think he'd feels safe around me so that's also a plus point. If I go looking all attractive, lean in and strike up a genuinely interesting convo that would develop into light touches and then a rough ones but unlike jimin's playful ones they are real and meaningful. I delulu that I could also make him drag me to the car with my hand in his if it hoes right.

Idk why but I also think that if don't do all that and just go upto him and offer real interest, he'd be game 🤷🏻‍♀️.

With hobi n jay me thinks, I'll have to put in more efforts, like swipe my hair from the neck, the gazes and all that and that too if he's in the mood. Maybe if I show I'm here for commitment we'll hit of as friends or smth but the one day where I'm not even looking particularly good he just thinks that fuck this is the most beautiful woman in the planet how do I get her (bcz I'm 10000% confident in that if you actually get to know my real self a bit and stay there's no way you won't be completely and utterly enamoured by me) and I'd laugh bcz boy u should have gotten me when I came, now play the long game (wow that rhymes!) And then we'll get marriedand live happily everafter.

I don't really know about Joon bcz he has such a high drive and that makes me lise my confidence. I do believe I could make him genuinely interested in my mind bcz there's some real cool stuff in there but for that I'll have to go and actually talk to him and mannnn that's hard I'm gonna cry.

But if I'm sitting not gaf about him I think I could attract him if I'm in my element and then he'd be the one fumbling over his words bcz I can look hot and intelligent if I want to hunh😒😏

Lastly jin. No. No chance this man will throw me out like this:

Commitment and relationship are still and option but otherwise the matter is closed forever and so am I in my box if embarrassment

SOLID! makes sense!!! especially seokjin just not entertaining you at all LOL also i love how tae is at the top of everyone’s lists sksksjsj like he’s just got that vibe and then at the same time yoongi just has everyone wanting to be his domestic life partner sigh the duality of taegi!!!

[garrulousgeologist]

> Begin Again

I skipped to the trolls.

Haha just kidding, but could you imagine?

I love a good data structure crash course.

I’ve always been someone who struggles with comprehension when I don’t have all the context.

When my friends (s/o to snipey and cam) first pitched the webcomic to me, they gave the option that many people prefer to skip to act 5 where you are introduced to “the grey kids with the candy corn horns”, as anyone on tumblr in 2011- regardless of fandom affiliation- could have recognized.

This suggestion was due to the first couple acts of Homestuck generally being seen by young audiences at the time as dense and irrelevant to the plot, and while I admit I barely followed what was going on tutorial-wise at the time, getting to know each beta kid was and is profoundly important. From page 1 there are themes and symbols echoed to the very end with enormous ripples of influence along the way.

Yesterday on 4/13/23 I read through the first 214 pages, right up to the introduction of Rose, which felt like a good stopping point.*

I am thrilled to declare I could follow nearly everything this time, as I wouldn’t dare claim I catch every single bit of information given out in any given page. That being said every 10 pages or so I had the recurring thought that I am thrilled to be revisiting this as an adult with so much more experience reading all sorts of documents and being exposed to a wide range of fields of study. Hussie is clearly well-learned, far beyond what my 14yo brain could absorb.

"The moon's an arrant thief, and her pale fire she snatches from the sun." -Mark Twain

You are almost certain Mark Twain said that.

[William Shakespeare said that]

Also, Broblerone?! It was there from the beginning…

I’m interested to see how my opinion of John evolves as I remember hating him for a large portion of the years I spent reading updates as they came out. I honestly can’t say what I think of him anymore, but from the introduction alone he’s just a kid and life is a nightmare. So, no harm no foul, yet.

Dave Strider I was an enormous fan of from the get-go back in 2011 and to this very day I ride or die that kid. He’s marred deeply enough in irony that he thinks he can get away with just being real and saying how he really feels and no one can tell.

He loops right back around and ends up being a hilarious, startlingly talented, complex, compassionate and cool genuine individual. It just takes him time to figure that out himself. He also reminds me of someone possessing all those traits as well…someone admittedly more ornery from the compassion he extends…someone who is constantly fighting for his life from infancy as well…someone with the exact same demonizing eye color…hm, guess it’ll come up later.

I can tell, Dave. We can all tell.

"Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire." -Walt Whitman

Yes, you are certain Walt Whitman said that. One hundred percent positive.

[Francois de La Rochefoucauld said that]

Rose Lalonde was my favorite character by far back in the day. I am also interested to see where that goes nowadays. I’m one of those people who came out of the 2020 quarantine as a completely different gender/person. It’s a little uncomfortable for me to look back at how I was forcing myself to identify in high school, but I don’t necessarily think it’ll taint my view of Rose. She is badass as all hell, and over-intellectualizes everything she hears, thinks and feels just like me <3. Let’s not talk about my mommy issues.

"When two great forces oppose each other, the victory will go to the one that knows how to yield." -Oscar Wilde

Wise words by a man who likely could resist everything but temptation.

[Lao Tzu said that]

Tl;dr

No strong opinions yet other than I am so excited to be getting started again and to see what I inevitably missed. And the music!!! I missed it SO MUCH!!

*(a/n: bare with me on my timing with posts on this blog, I am an adult now with a 40hr/week big kid job and it sucks the energy right out of me, be impressed I mustered up the life force to make a post on a fucking friday)

[consequencesofargentdawn]

pretty disappointed to see recently that you coad support toxic players. as toxic and dramatic as PCU I dare say. So basically we have PCU on one hand, and then on the other hand, a forming clique of children. This seloriaz elf and her clique had previously been almost instanced in sw, rudely ignoring ppl for RPing supposedly with pcu people. when I /w them they ignored me again and then one of their alts whispered back at me saying to not bother them again because I was seen RPing with a PCU-affiliate whereas I simply chit-chatted with someone from the dawn that no longer even is in azura dawn. from the other screenshots also with shonn, I respect when he admits that he does 18+ RP and that he is mindful of not doing it public but that goes against the one who whispers, which is seloriaz and had a TRP profile with a not-so-hidden link of their nsfw character artwork. who's the real clown? pls do your research and don't give voice to toxic players that expose everyone to their nsfw artwork and they dont even give you a chance because you "RpEd WiTh ThAt oNe dUdE wHo We ThInK iS pcu sO wE iGnOre yOu!" So glad these people left Argent Dawn and went over to epsilon last I know. Better stay there. And coad, pls post this and if you kindly ask for evidence I have a few screenies though my TRP was wiped so I cant find that NSFW link I wrote above.

Sounds like malding PCU hotheads getting burnt here. You provide no receipts, no evidence of wrong doing from whoever you're trying to throw under the bus and your goons have created no less than seven (7) twitter accounts to harass someone.

People d o n o t want to interact with the PCU and are wholly entitled to curate and moderate their spaces online from those who align themselves with the group. You are a toxic brand who have attracted incels, genuine fascists and sympathetic rightoids who's attitudes towards women, minorities and vulnerable groups have routinely for the last five years and more been on par with the same type of "cleanse the society" rhetoric that neo-nazi extremists have pumped out. Your former Dear Leader often loved to compare himself to great totalitarian personages of the 20th century, and somewhat ironically given the context, to the great Butcherer of Bucha. You are abjectly the greatest hypocrites to ever ingloriously grace Argent Dawn.

We are breaking from our usual operating code as we don't generally reply to angry PCU wiseguys these days. The utter hysteria your ilk fill our inbox up with grants us glee and delight. Every anti-Semitic, racist and xenophobic jibe, every misogynistic and medieval "lol funny deus vult" quip and homophobic, transphobic and fragile cis white male angerbait sent our way? You think it does anything but encourage us further?

The PCU have n e v e r been able to provide genuine evidence of supposed wrong doing that hasn't clearly been through two layers of photoshop and reveals a players actual screen rather than the poorly cropped text box themselves and two buddies did together on Epsilon at three AM posing as other players to dirty, denigrate and slander innocent players. It's always someone posting easily faked TRP profiles, chat boxes that crop out 80% of the screen or suspiciously only use easily modifiable terms such as player names or two players sitting side by side one another (because that apparently is ERP?)

Yet what have we got? A mountain of evidence. A litany of questionable behaviors, off-color remarks and abuse dating over years of which at least half of all of this has been contributed by other players, the decent and normal people of Argent Dawn who read this blog to see just what scummy depths the PCU and all of its adjunct supporters are willing to prop up in the name of "good standards" and "protecting fellow roleplayers"

So to quote Akande Ogundimu, aka Doomfist.

Go and sit down.

[etoilesombre]

Okay so, bi* Flint.

First, I'm actually not super attached to bi Flint as Correct. People can think of fictional characters however they want, and there are lots of reasons it might be important to someone to think of him as gay. Also we call him gay as shorthand all the time (see: that gay leather daddy post). In some cases the creators refer to him that way too, and in some contexts, it is the word that makes sense. So I have no problem with how anybody on this website thinks of or refers to him. This is referring back to an interview in a public forum where the interviewer referred to the friendship between Flint and Silver as between "a gay man and a straight man" and everyone sort of laughs about calling Silver a straight man because duh, but I think it is reductive of both of their sexualities.

And I do think that we live in a kind of odd fandom reality where it is more controversial to say that Flint is bi than that Silver is. Because, well, there is strictly speaking much more evidence in the show for one of those things than the other.

Why are we so comfortable saying Silver is bi? (Obviously I'm with you. He is.) But it seems like we've kind of lost sight of the fact that this is headcanon. I don't think it is arguable that there is deep love there, but the sexual attraction piece is not directly shown, and the show works with or without. But we’re good confidently claiming Silver is bi for a couple reasons, primarily, -A C T I N G  C H O I C E S- with Luke and the hearteyes. It's a TV show. Fundamentally, what we have to go on is the script and how it's interpreted by the actors (and all of the other creative people involved in making the show).

So when I think of Flint as bi, it is not because of some gold star gay shit where he can't be gay because he slept with a woman. It's because I see genuine attraction and sexual chemistry in the way the London scenes with Miranda are portrayed. Not just the carriage, but the way they refer to their affair before the Alfred Hamilton dinner too. And I think there is a very good in universe reason (a few actually) for why 10 years later he and Miranda would be having miserable sex in that one scene, that make as much or more sense as "he's just not into women." 

Again, I take no issue with the other interpretation. Totally possible that he was figuring himself out, and after Thomas realized that was what he really wanted all along. But because these are, and let me repeat, fictional people there is no actual correct answer, just like there is no correct answer about the ending. It's not history, there is no real objective truth to uncover** if we just work hard enough. What we have is what we are shown, and it seems to me to be pushing it a bit to say that it is somehow invalidating or dismissive of gay people and their experiences to take at face value what is being pretty clearly shown.

*these were not meaningful distinctions at the time, and neither one increases or lessens the oppression or marginalization he would have faced. sodomy is sodomy, regardless of what else you are doing or not doing.

**yes I know this is also a can of worms re talking about objective truth in history, that's not the point right now.

tl:dr - I still will never be convinced that that was a man who was sad to be making out with Miranda in the back of a carriage.

[serenhoshi]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐳 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭

Got inspired by the tour they will be doing (and i’ll be able to see them in Paris!!)

For context: the members are on tour for a few months, his birthday happens during the tour so the members plan your travel to surprise him :))

Sangyeon:

First of all, he is far from stupid. He noticed that the members were more excited than before. Some of them even gave him clues by saying things such as “anw you won’t be spending your birthday with y/n?? what do you plan to do? call them?? what if they’re busy?”

Like they were more curious than usual. And then, Sangyeon being Sangyeon, he always looks at every single The B in the crowd of the concert. He thought he saw you at some point, but he shrugged it off; he couldn’t show the fans he was spotting his s/o in the crowd. When you showed up backstage, a big smile showed up on his face and he just went “I knew it! You guys are so bad at hiding things!!”

Of course he was more than happy!!

Jacob:

For Jacob, you didn’t show up right after the concert, deciding to let him have a full night of sleep. Instead, you came and knocked at his hotel room door, late in the morning -on the day of his birthday- to make sure he sleeps enough. He opened the door, messy hair and puffy face showing up to you. His tired eyes then grew bigger and he smiled fondly, immediatly taking you in his arms. 

The members that were awake were in the corridor, recording Jacob’s reaction and saying some “aww”s here and there. He thanked the members, of course, and then took you to bed with him to make sure you wouldn’t be jet-lagged.

Younghoon:

You did a little mistake for Younghoon’s surprise: you were so into the organization of the trip to America with the members, that you completely forgot to answer him. Or you would answer late after he sent you a message, which was very rare. He started to get worried, worried that you might fall out of love with him, or even go and see someone else. He overthought this a lot, as he always does.

So when you showed up backstage, with a big smile on your face. He couldn’t help but feel guilty, guilty that he ever doubted your loyalty. He hugged you tight, of course, and even cried a little. Later on, when there was only you two, he apologized and explained what he thought of. Of course you apologized too and werent even upset at him. In the end he had a wonderful birthday with you ♥

Hyunjae:

This little assh0le knew it since the beginning! He would listen to the members having a private talk, and eventually corner one of them to have the whole secret revealed. Maybe he heard Kevin and Jacob talk together in english, and he would hear your name and his. Once Jacob left, he stopped Kevin and threatened Kevin so that he would tell him the truth. OF COURSE KEVIN BEING KEVIN: he would tell him! Then Hyunjae played it off as if he knew nothing. Kevin didn’t tell the members.

Hyunjae had a huge smile for the rest of the days before his birthday. And would act fake-surprised when he sees you. Like “ooooh honeyyy what are you doing hereee i wasn’t expecting youuu~” and then hugging and kissing you. 

Juyeon:

Juyeon was so clueless about this. He is so dense that even if the members talked about their plan in front of him he wouldn’t realize it was about you and him. So he was genuinely surprised when he saw you at the hotel on his birthday. He had a big smile on his head and would rub his eyes a little as if it didn’t feel real. You spent the day together, discovering the city he was having a show in the next day, hold hands and taking pictures. I can clearly imagine him going “I can’t believe you’re actually here” during the whooole day at random times.

Kevin:

He probably noticed the members have private talks at times and I see Kevin just pointing at them with a funny smile “I see y’all over theree I know watcha doin’~” when he actually had no clue. He thought of a prank or just a cake arriving during the concert with everyone singing him happy birthday.

Turns out it happened during rehearsal, the lights on stage turned off, and then back on with you arriving, cake in hands and smile on your face. He went “Oh my gooood you did that!!” and held his heart while watching you with stars in his eyes.

New:

Was so upset to not be able to see you that he probably got the plane tickets for you and all by himself lmao. The members still managed to surprise him by lying about your time of arrival, you would be there earlier thant said, and he would be shocked. Soooo happy that you’re here! If a concert is going on he would definitely be a try-harder to impress you.

Q:

Similar to New’s one, he would try to find a way to see you in person. But the members had contacted you earlier and told you to lie, so you said that you were busy and couldn’t come even though you really wanted to. And boy he was PISSED! not at you, at himself for being on tour, and at your boss for refusing giving you a few days off. I can clearly see him all pouty like “I’ll sue this boss, i don’t even like him, ive never liked him anyways”.

When you showed up he went “why are you hereeeee omg you lied? You lied to me???” and then beated up the boys bcs they told you to lie. Then he came to you and hugged you sooo tight, even if he was sweaty because of practice, he did not give a single care.

Haknyeon:

I believe the maknae line would cry, every single one of them. Haknyeon would have a nervous laugh and then cry of happiness when seeing you. Coming close to you and framing your face with his hands softly, looking at you with love and adoration. “I’m so so happy that you’re here, please don’t leave and finish the tour with us okay?? I love you so much”. He didn’t expect anything whil the members were preparing the plan.

Sunwoo:

This guy would crumble in front of you okay? Even if you saw each other a few weeks ago, he is so dependant of you that he felt very lonely during the tour. When you came into the room he just knelt on the floor and hid his face in his hands to cry, while still having a smile on his face. You knelt in front of him and hugged him, he then forced you to get up, a fake pout on the face and tears still running on his cheeks.

“Don’t you dare get on the floor like this prince/ss,,! Oh my god i didn’t expect this,, thank you so much- i love you oh god” and he hugged and kissed you :)

Eric: 

He would try his best not to cry but he failed very badly lmao. The members would obviously tease him, pushing him around while he was trying to keep his tears in. And you would save him from them with a big hug, ngl he would be kind of the little spoon in the hug. Crying like a baby while holding your waist and hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

[thefanficmonster]

Chaos Magnet

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None :)

Genre: FLUFF, HUMOR, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: When Y/N get invited onto a stream with the gang by Jack (Sean) she’s not sure what to expect but it’s safe to say that such chaos is not something she could’ve ever imagined.

Requested by Anon. Hi hun! Thank you so much for your lovely request, it really had me laughing and still had me be awe-struck by the adorableness of the idea. Sorry it’s been such a long time since you put in the request but I still hope you come across the fic and read it! Love, Vy ❤

“Alright people, silence in the call for a moment!“ Jack calls out when the lobby’s counter has finally reached up to nine, leaving room for one more person who is yet to join, but apparently he doesn’t care much that he’ll probably have to repeat himself when the tenth person enters the call and lobby.

“Jack, you should know by now, the day there’s silence in this call is when some supernatural force murders all ten of our mics. It just won’t happen, deal with it.“ Charlie, who was having an ‘intense’ discussion with Toast up until Jack’s interruption, says sarcastically, chuckling ever so slightly, enough for it to be contagious and make me crack a smile as well.

“There won’t be silence, I’ll be talking. If only the rest of you would LET ME.“ Jack replies just as sarcastically, getting Charlie to let out an actual fit of laughter. When his chuckling subsides along with the rest of the chatter in the call, Jack finally gets to have the speech he mentioned, “Right, ok so here’s the deal folks: today we have a guest addition to the stream, curtesy of mine because I’m obsessed with her channel. As you might or might not have noticed, there’s one person missing from the lobby but she’s gonna be joining us any minute now. As I said, I’m a huge fan so you better not embarrass me or I swear I’m gonna kill you first when I get to be an impostor.”

I don’t know what the others are thinking - probably something similar as what I’m thinking though: Noted, embarrass Jack to the best of your ability. Trust me, getting him flustered in front of his YouTube idol is well worth the death in Among Us he’s threatening us with.

“Also keep in mind that she’s of a different kind, not of our breed if you will - she’s an ASMR YouTuber. Not those who eat in the mic just because they think it’d be pleasant for people to hear.“ Jack goes on to explain, the way he’s described this girl’s craft is quite intriguing, especially when you consider how confidently Jack expressed his distaste with ASMR in the past. He’s always claimed not to be a fan but here we are, I guess people really do change.

“Thank you for making it seem like I do more than just cut up soaps, Jack. I really appreciate it but don’t bump the bar up that high, people will be disappointed when they actually visit my channel.“ An unfamiliar voice appears in the call out of nowhere. Though, unfamiliar is not the adjective I should focus on when describing this girl’s voice. I’ll list a few more but even they won’t do it justice: pleasant, awing, mesmerizing, unbelievable, out-of-this-world...I really could keep going.

“Oh come on, Y/N, you don’t just cut up soap. You turn them into bath bombs too!“ Jack laughs, earning him a playful scoff from the newcomer. “Oh yeah, almost forgot - Everyone, this is Y/N, our ASMR artist.“

“Please, some ‘artist’ I am. The people in my comment section would disagree with that description.“ She giggles after kindly responding to each and every greeting the gang sends her way, myself included. “The word I’ve seen people use most when describing my channel is ‘cringey’ so....yeah.“ She laughs, a genuine laugh instead of the bitter one I was expecting to follow such words.

“That seems to be the cool kids’ favorite word, don’t dwell too much on it.“ Rae tells her reassuringly, “What’s important is what word would you use to describe your channel?“

Y/N hums, sounding as though she’s fallen in thought but that’s only one brief moment before she answers. Or begins to, at least, “Well, if I were to describe my channel with one word it’d be....BEEFY!”

That one out-of-context word, screamed out by such an angelic voice has me breaking down with overwhelming laughter collapsing all my ability to hold back.

“Out of all the words, you’d choose beefy?“ I somehow manage to ask between fits of laughter that render me breathless.

“She’s a vegetarian, I think, I don’t know why she’d choose that word.“ Jack too is laughing his butt off but has a significantly better grip on it, “Y/N, care to explain your peculiar choice?“

There’s a lot of shuffling and random noise on Y/N’s end before her reply finally comes, accompanied by a weak meow, “Sorry guys, that was a classic cat of Mr. Beef Stronganoff seeking attention by being chaotic.” She says through laughter, her words followed by another meow which was a lot more clear, seemingly closer to the mic, “He took down my mic, and he seems like he wants to do it again....BEEFY NO!”

For some reason, even with that explanation in mind, I can’t keep myself from laughing. Come to think of it, I think the explanation only makes it funnier.

“Ugh, darn it! I saved my mic but he ran across my keyboard and turned my webcam off how do I turn it back on?“ Her voice dies down for a few secs before it reemerges from her end, “Ok nevermind I got it. Now I can answer...what was the question again?“

Recovering from his laughing fit, Jack manages to repeat the question, “What word would you use to describe your channel?”

“Oh that! Right, ok. Um, I’d call it aesthetically pleasing and BEEFY NOT THE ROUTER CABLE YOU DUMMIE!“

She’s insane. Or her cat’s insane. I can’t tell. Maybe both. Either way, I can’t help but feel like I’ve found a soulmate in this literal stranger. It’s safe to say us chaos magnets like her and I, we don’t only attract chaos, but also chaotic individuals. I’m so glad she magnetized me to herself. Or was it the other way around? We may never know - mystery is in the nature of us chaos magnets, you know.

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[natsukitakama]

What kind of Yandere Floch is ?

Could I please get Yandere Floch since I’m really curious what type of yandere would he be but with a fem s/o who isn’t member of yeagarits and she’s with Hange and others instead, wanted to stop Eren. She’s also afraid of Floch since she can sense something odd about him

Hey I’m that anon who request yandere Floch with a reader who isn’t a yeagarist, well just so you know they’re not dating but perhaps they are friends and the reader is type of person who’s not ready to be in relationship even if she has a crush and Floch is aware of that. you could reply this ask at the same day when you post this request

Hey it’s me again, the same anon who request yandere Floch, there’s something I want to add more is that the reader figure it out that eren was using and manipulate Floch and the reader was telling Floch that he’s being used so really curious what would he tell her. Once again reply this ask until this request is posted which I know you’ll take long but I’m fine with it since I’m patience

Author note : Hi there, first of all thank you for being so patient with me ! I hope you’ll enjoy your request. It’s like a HS of my what kind of Yandere are they with two part : part 1 and part 2, the only difference is this headcanon got context

Before we started, let me reminds you those relationships are TOXIC please be careful. No one should treat you the way they did in this headcanon, you’re precious and deserve someone who’ll be able to take care of you properly.

Warning : violence / Mention of stress / Toxic relationship and behavior / slight nsfw / mention of violence / Spoiler from season 4/manga if you didn't catch up with the manga you might be spoil so be careful

-->if you don’t feel confortable wit those kinds of things don’t read, I want you to feel good on my blog this is a happy place.

Masterlist

We’re going to start with the basic, during a long time you guys got a hate/love relationship

None of you knew if you hate each other or if you were too into each other, like you were always teasing each other, always trying to get on the other’s nerve.

It was kinda cute until it became an obsession for Floch.

He didn’t notice it though. Not at first, he thought that he was genuinely crushing on you. I mean you were pretty hot, you got a big mouth not afraid to tell whatever you had in mind, you were even bold enough to argue with Floch with that damn smirk of yours.

Before he could acknowledge it he was already in his kneel for you (not literally not now though).

But to you, you were just friends. With your life and what was going own outside of the wall you knew it wasn’t the right time to get in a relationship, so even though you were in love with Floch you decided that it wasn’t appropriate to start dating.

But Floch disagreed with you. It was already too late, he was into you. He wanted to be by your side, he was craving for your attention whether it would be by arguing with him, fighting (not in a bad way you know just teasing each other) or even romantic attention.

He wanted to get everything that you might give him.

And he was ready to do everything in order to get what he was craving for.

At first you didn’t mind it, you didn’t even notice how bad the situation was. I mean, you were in love with him and as you got to know him you realized that he went through a lot of things. You were aware that the Shinganshima’s event left a huge mark on his soul and now he was dealing with a trauma that might stay forever.

It pained you to see him sometimes struggling with his dream because he was always dreaming about the death of his friends, the way he almost dies and for nothing. Yeah they got Shinganshima back but now they needed to be strong in order to fight the whole word outside the wall.

He needed to be strong so he wouldn’t live this again, he needed to be strong so no one would be able to touch you. He knew at this point he became addict to you and you were the only who can maintain a sort of serenity around him.

So yeah when it came to Floch you weren’t exactly unbiased, you cared a lot about him, so you couldn’t manage to just straight up and tell him to let go.

And he knows it oh boy he knows and he is not afraid to use it against you.

Especially when it was time to choose your side, would you be a yeagerist or would you stay with Hange ?

He expects you to make the right choice ( aka follows him in case you were wonderin)

But it was more complicated than that, of course you were afraid. Since you’ve realized that your nightmare started because some people outside of the wall (who used to be your boundaries) decided that you were monster who needed to be killed because some of your ancestor made war against them. You weren’t a fool, you were aware that talking won’t be enough, it’s been decades since the outside hated you, but you weren’t ready to use such a powerful and dangerous power (aka the rumbling) against people without being a hundred percent sure there weren’t a way out.

So for now you decided to follow Hange much to Floch’s dismay

Not gonna lie he was ready, I mean he knew everything about you so of course he kinda expected you to not follow him easily (where’s the fun then ?)

Even if he expected you to confront him and not follow him already, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. I mean why you wouldn’t follow him while all he was doing was fighting for a better word for both of you ? Why wouldn’t you agree with him when he was protecting his people ? Why would you disagree when he was obviously right

So yeah he felt bitterness against you, especially because since you’ve decided to join Hange’s side all you were doing was to confront him about his relationship with Eren. « He is obviously manipulating you ? » « Why are you following him ? I thought he was an ass ? » « We didn’t even try to talk to them how could you be so sure there is no other way ? »

Quickly you came to realize that you couldn’t change his mind which pains you, even though you weren’t ready to be in a relationship for now, you couldn’t help the feeling of emptiness each time you were thinking about him.

Yeah you were missing him, you missed the way you two used to tease each other, you missed his cocky smile each time he was showing off to own some of your precious praise.

But sometimes you swore this man was scaring you, the way his eyes was always on you no matter what (he could have been talking to some of his companion his eyes would remain on you)

Sometimes, you swore that he was following you even though you didn’t have any proof that he was doing it, you just felt it. He was here no matter where you were he was here looking at you from your usual spot to your training spot, you were even starting to think that he was here when you were showering or when you were sleeping.

This sensation was driving you crazy, everyone started to believe that you were a little bit paranoid (yes the man was always looking at you but he told you he was in love so it’s normal right ?)

The feeling became stronger after one of your last confrontation because his behavior (and himself) change brutally :

When you decided to follow Henge-San no matter what, you knew that it would affect your relationship with everyone especially the one you got with Floch. After all he decided to become a yeagarist and to betray everyone in order insure paradis’ safety. In his mind everything made sense, his trauma, all the things he had to go through was because of them, because some people behind the wall decided that paradis was the real danger and needed to be annihilated. What he couldn’t understand was why you hadn’t join him yet ? His goal was noble, he was doing everything to provide you safety. Why were you against him ? Why would you meddle into his plan ? At first, he thought you were playing hard just to amuse him, because you used to love teasing him and while he was enjoying a little opposition coming from you, now that he was about to betray everyone including his superior by changing them into titans he needed to have you by his side. He couldn’t wait anymore, the plan already begun so he needed to convince you to follow him.

That’s why you were here now, in jail behind the bar while Floch was looking at you a frown on his face. No, it was more than that, it was the face you made when you were about to scold your child from acting like a brat. He looked disappointed and quite angry, though you got some ideas why he might be angry you couldn’t however understand why he was so disappointed. After all, you told him that his plan was insane so why was he acting like this ? To be honest you should be the one being angry, he got the nerve to send some rookie from the survey corps find you to arrest you so they could bring you to your jail. You’ve been here since your last argument with Floch and it was like a week ago.

« You know I always knew you were a bad looser but I didn’t expect you to bring me into jail for not being cooperative. Don’t you think it’s a little bit excessive ? Like a LOT »

« Always sassy right Y/N »

« It’s not sassiness at this point it’s just being rational »

« Rational ? You are talking about being rational while being the one who claimed that my plan was full of shit ? »

« I didn’t really say that I just underlined the fact that we still got some cards to play before sending whatever Eren want to send »

« The rambling »

« Yeah whatever that’s not the point »

« It’s definitely the point »

« Absolutely not there is plenty of things to do before even consider sending them titans to kill a whole population »

« A WHOLE POPULATION ? Did you hear yourself y/n ? THEY kill us, THEY were the reason we don’t have a home anymore THEY are the reason so many people died and for what uh ? »

« Not because their government want us dead does it mean the people want our death most of them are probably innocent. There are other way Floch »

« There is no other way y/n the world has to be fix »

« Fix ? Now you are scarring me Floch »

« It doesn’t matter what you think y/n »

« May I ask you why ? »

« Because you’re not leaving this jail »

« I beg your pardon ? »

« Look, here you’re safe from both them and the yeagarist »

« I’m not afraid I’ll kick their ass »

« I won’t take the risk of losing you, so you’re going to stay here all you cute for me yeah ? I Wont be too long I need to work on a little problem then I would be back and you could yell at me as much as you want ok ? I’ll be back »

« No no no Floch look come back OI come back ! I’m not going to stay here you now I’ll find a way out »

« No you won’t nobodies know you’re here I told the yeagarist that you were dead. They won’t look for you, your friends believe you’re dead too. I’m the only person who knows where you are. But it’s okay, it was always about us right ? »

With that he just left your jail, without even a look, all he could was your scream but he didn’t care. The jail was hiding under the military court no one would even think about looking for you here. Besides the wall was thick enough so no one would hear you screaming, for now he decided that you will remain here until he was done saving paradis. But of course, he promised himself to take great care of you so don’t worry.

After this « incident » (aka his way to save you from the trouble outside according to him), his behavior change toward you. You noticed it, he became possessive and rather paranoid when it came to you.

So you might ask what kind of Yandere he is ?

Possessive : I mean he was already possessive before he became the Yandere that he now is, he just lost so many people that now he was afraid that you would be next. So yeah he always makes sure to have his hand on some part to your body mostly your hips or even better holding your hand, since you were attracted to him you let him do his things. But as he falls gradually into darkness, his touch which used to be light touch became more rough. Floch wasn’t holding you anymore he was grabbing you, as if to demonstrate to everyone that he owns you. It wasn’t a mark of affection, but a way for him to illustrate your affiliation to him (as if you were wearing a leash). Speaking of leash, he started to think about it when he notices way too many people was looking at you as if they didn’t understand that you belong to him. And when you two started to be intimate, he was more than ready to mark each inch of your body whether from his teeth, mouth or even from the way he is grabbing at your thigh. It quickly became a habit of him to ask who you belong to especially each time he was giving a rather hard slap from his hips or his hands (because if you think he wouldn’t spank you for being naughty or a brat you’re wrong he loves that) and even though at first you didn’t like the idea of moaning your belonging you quickly discover that it was better for you to just do as he said.

Paranoid : It might because of his trauma from the mission in Shinganshima or because he was more aware about the fact that everyone outside the wall want to erase paradis from the world but he was afraid to loose you. I mean since he joined the survey corps all he has do was losing someone, he lost Erwin, he lost his friends, he lost a part of his mind, he almost lost his life. There is no way he was about to lose you. So yeah as you may notice before, he started by locking you from the world in a jail under the military court after claiming to everyone who wanted to hear it that you were dead. One night he woke up after dreaming that one of the yeagarist would discover you in jail after bringing another prisoner, what if they unlock you ? So after multiple days in jail, without any light, he decided that he couldn’t let you here it was too dangerous, although he claimed to you that he did because he noticed your unhealthy body cause of the lack of light. But since he wasn’t sure if he could trust you enough, he took some handcuff with him so he could link you and him, which made him laugh cause it was as if he put a ring on you. That day he locked you into a house secluded from the world, meaning that you couldn’t reach any city without a horse, it was safe for him and for you and here he was sure no one would ever notice you.

Threatening : Of course, you wouldn’t let him do as he pleased, so some times you tried to kick his ass to steal his horse, or to climb into a tree to help you finding the closest city. You even tried to make him believe you kill yourself so he went completely crazy, screaming, crying so you could knock him you. Unfortunately it never works, and after your failed attempt to leave him he started to threaten you. At first he uses light poison, like he gave you a poison that he mixed on your meal or your drink without you noticing so you were ill during the whole day and you needed to wait like a good s/o that your lovely husband as he calls himself, so he could give you the medicine. Sometimes he even let you believe that he might give you something that will change you into titan like : Do you remember all your officer ? Yeah ? They all drink that famous spinal liquid that change everyone into titan, what if you drank it by accident mh ? Maybe when he gave you food he already mixes your drink with that poison ? Whether it was true or not no one will know, but it works you never attempt to leave him after that.

Violent : I hate to say it, but at some point when dark would entirely cover his mind, he would start being violent against you. Though he would never be something that could kill you, he wanted you to remember that you were living a peaceful live because of him, you were safe because of him. To him you got no reason of being such a brat to him, not when he was giving you everything you wanted. He took care of you, you had no right to be mad at him. So yeah sometimes he had to break your ankle, or maybe your leg so you won’t escape. Sometimes he would strangle you slightly just enough to knock you out. It barely happens because to act like this he needed to be really really angry, like loosing every common sense you know ? So it barely happens but it happens. Your body still have so marks as proof that you shouldn’t get on Floch’s nerve. Despite his physical violence, he tends to be quite violent with his word too so it wouldn’t be a surprise that you’ll break. The emotional amusement in addition with the physical violence would be enough to break anyone so you shouldn’t be ashamed. After all maybe he has been looking for this since the beginning ? Who knows ?

[scrawnytreedemon]

AUGH JUST SAW YOUR RESPONSE OKAY *throws a small boy at you* Vaati!!! (please god I hope nobody asked about him while I wasn’t looking-)

THERE WE GOOOO!! And not to fear! We alone are mouse-boy enthusiasts in this chili's tonight.

Right! For some context, I've only had direct experience with Minish Cap, and that was via an LP. I have a general gist of his motivations in Four Sword and Four Sword Adventures, but nothing more; as such, my characterisation will largely hinge on his depiction in Minish Cap.

Without further ado--! Let's begin.

First impression: Oh god, there's a fair bit? I had the idea that he was this gloating, menacing but lowkey bland villain by wider-fanbase standards who fit the mould of your standard arrogant-cunt sorceror-- Either that, or this bitch Gumpy™. There were also characterisations of him being this leery fuck who didn't know how to keep his hands off women-- I imagine largely thanks to his deeds in Four Swords.

Impression now: He feels like something right out of some early '00s kid DeviantArt page and I mean that in the most delightful sense. He's literally an albino mouse-fairy boy who was an apprentice to one of the most revered sages in his people's society, only to go, "NO!!! I do n o t t e wish to be Tiny Mouse anymore!!!" and then fucking stole the cap and fucked shit up. Vaati comes across as so juvenile here, and I'm genuinely surprised I don't see people outside of hardcore-Vaati stans lean into this? Because that's pretty fucking important, the fact that he's essentially a preteen that stole a bunch of power to... become God??? His motivations are disjointed, and while it's smart that he sat back and watched instead of leaping in like many others(cough, cough, Ghirahim) tried to do, but at the same time it lends itself to an utter lack of presence on his part, as he game's antagonist-- And I suppose this methodology makes sense, considering he is a kid. I say this about every Zelda villain, and I'll say it about him too: there's alot of untapped potential at play here, I think, were you to merely examine his character or toss him into a room with others and see how that character plays out. Vaati's fundamental immaturity makes a good contrast or even unveiling in regards to the motivations of his compatriots; maybe calling into question whether any of them know what the fuck they're doing. On a minor note, he's alot more jovial than I anticipated. It's obviously of the aloof-sneering variety, but I really didn't expect it; again, I'm surprised no-one thinks to convey this? It was a pleasant little discovery.

Favorite moment: The twist-appearance as Link and Zelda flee to the Elemental Sanctuary-- I knew it was going to happen, if they'd left it there a major thread in regards Vaati's ascension would have gone unresolved. Even still, the bossfight afterwards was underwhelming, from the looks of things, y'know, considering he's a demigod, but again I think that ties back to his complete lack of experience and self-discipline; and I'll be real, I was side-eyeing Ezlo the entire time with how willing he seemed to dismiss Vaati and place all the blame on him; nevermind that Vaati was his charge, and his behaviour speaks to Ezlo's methods more than anything else, but I'm getting off track.

Idea for a story: I'd say a moment of quiet reflection; maybe he's hauled himself up to his (stolen) room after a long day, and we get insight into his thought process and motivations. Maybe even some second guesses-- Only briefly, of course. Why stop, when he's this close to becoming a God? But it's lonely at the top; lonelier than one can ever imagine. But who is he to worry? At least he'll be lonely and powerful, and with that power he'll... he'll... He'll get to it, whent he time comes.

Unpopular opinion: Probably that I find more mature, surly depictions of him jarring? But I'm guessing that has more to do with his FS and FSA appearances-- Again, limited scope here. I don't think this one will be particularly controversial by Tumblr Zelda standards, but I really found it so jarring how Ezlo and the narrative as a whole seems so keen on avoiding why Vaati got here? All we're told is that he was fascinated by the darkness in the hearts of men, but like, why? And why did that metastasise into such destructive tendencies? Because alot of people do get curious of morbid topics, and in regards to psychology, that can blossom into an education in that field should that spark be nurtured-- I think it would have been incredibly beneficial to have had a Minish capable of looking into man's darker nature and seeking caution based on that-- After all, wasn't Ezlo's inability to anticipate that what lead to all this? The only time I can remember when Ezlo properly touches on the issue is at the very end when he apologises to Princess Zelda, saying that it was his fault any of this happened-- And he's right to! Especially considering what Zelda's been through. But any consideration as to Vaati and what brought him here is sweeped under the rug immediately. There's no desire to examine this; no want to dirty their hands with this filth. And like, is that not concerning? Regardless of the affection in it that becomes apparent toward the end, Ezlo reprimands and talks down to Link on serveral occasions; am I the only one wondering what part that played in all of this? How it could have worsened an already precarious mind like Vaati's? To be very clear, this isn't an absolution of Vaati's deeds-- I have no interest in doing that, as I don't think villains need to be absolved in order to gain consideration; rather, this is a frustration of how Zelda once again refuses to give that consideration to its villains, save for the fleetest of moments.

Favorite relationship: The thing about Vaati is that he's isolated, almost completely divorced from the cast in any meaningful interpersonal way; all bridges are either burned, or absent. And that's jarring, isn't it? I think any relationship could be a good one, and take his character in a number of interesting directions. Link? A foil, in regards to them both being under Ezlo's tutelage, and a potential for him to examine his own maturity; a question if he retains any innocence yet; maybe, even, if any of this is worth that. Ezlo? A confronation of the past he seems all to eager to throw away; all the bitterness and the contempt, all the hurt they both seem loathe to acknowledge. Zelda? Well, she's in stone for most of the game so I don't know how that'd work, but assuming this is an AU where she's merely interned instead of petrified, I think the examination would be similar in regards to Link's, but with the questioning amped up to 100 late-arc, that despite everything he's doing to set himself above others he's taken a shine to her, and now he's stuck wanting to pursue his goals but also... He admires her. He can't help it. He's loathe to admit it, but that firey sweetness she seems to hold for everyone and everything is enthralling; and they all return it, too-- Maybe, just maybe, he considers, even a little, that love may be more desirable over power-- Whether he pursues it, however, is to be seen.

Favorite headcanon: Oh!!! God, I can't remember who suggested it, but when I was scrolling through the tag, someone brought up the idea that Vaati's boss-morphs might be the closest we have to actually catching a glimpse at Hylia's true form-- And I can see it, now! The whole eye-thing actually makes alot more sense, if you consider it cognate to the Sheikah All-Seeing Eye. On the whole, it's a wonderful headcanon that adds so much to what initally seems to be the epitome of Zelda's eye-fixation, tying a villainous character to something adjacent to light, to holiness. If I might throw another idea in here, my own observation, I can't help wondering if this:

Is far more akin to this:

Than anything else.

It's certainly make Ezlo's horror at Vaati's new form more understandable, and also serve as a lovely tie-in that Fuckign Around With Dark Forces™ leaves you looking like a little goblin person.

But yeah! That's that :) Sorry I'm late, hopefully though this makes up for that.

DO let me know what you think, though! I'd be delighted to hear your own thoughts on the matter.