#FUCK MY WALLET NOOO

[pyuwritesthings]

OF COURSE THE DAY ICE FREAM VENTURE COMES OUT IS THE DAY I SWEAR TO SAVE MONEY FOR SOMETHING GODDAMNIT BLIZZARD

[james-is-nasqueer]

uuughhh fuck cops

[ddejavvu]

Hiii! Could you write a Spencer Reid x fem reader who are dating & she’s super drunk, he needs to take care of her and she’s all “no I have a boyfriend who I love so much” and goes on a ramble about Spencer, not releasing she’s talking to him & he’s all heart eyes and giggly at her whilst trying to take care of her? Lots of fluff? Thank you!

The minute Spencer tries taking your hand to help you down from the booth you're squeezed into, you push his hand away, "No."

"No," You repeat, shaking your head with all the coordination of a baby deer, "Nooo sir. I am not going to be partaking in anything with you, because I have a boyfriend," You announce, your voice spanning over the entire table, even reaching Rossi who's at the head, "And I love him, and you're- just- fuck off."

Spencer's mouth falls open incredulously at your expletive, though a laugh escapes it rather than one of his own. "Oh, really? You've got a boyfriend?"

"Mhm." You nod proudly, settling back into your seat and burrowing away from his waiting hands into Emily's side, "He's tall, and he has a gun, so don't-" You choke on what Spencer presumes is a hiccup, but could very well be a belch, "Don't mess with me."

"You tell'im," Emily laughs, wrapping her arm around your shoulder and rubbing the chilly skin beneath the cutoff of your sleeves, "Do you want me to call Spencer for you, sweetheart? Have him come pick you up?"

"Yeah," You nod easily, your eyes set greedily on your friend's drink now that yours have been downed, "Can you tell him to bring me a blanket, too? I'm cold."

Unbeknownst to you, Penelope herds Spencer away to the edge of the patio your team is seated on, and there's a lingering smile on his face as he listens to what she whispers in his ear.

"I have a blanket in my car," She tells him, "It might have some cat hair on it, but you can totally take it! Go get it, and you can come back like we called you."

"Okay," Spencer's eager to take Penelope's keys from her when she shoves them into Spencer's hands, "Thanks, Garcia. Just make sure she doesn't drink any more, okay?"

A quick glance back at your table reveals Emily holding her glass to your lips, helping you tilt it backwards to dump the concoction down your throat.

"Uh- any more than that." Spencer clarifies. Penelope nods, rushing off to make sure you don't find Rossi's scotch.

Spencer returns barely two minutes later, discreetly dumping Penelope's keys back into her purse. Hotch and Morgan share a knowing smirk when Spencer pats you on the shoulder, and JJ pinches your side from across Emily to get you to notice the man standing beside you.

"Hi angel," Spencer croons, and your face lights up, shining brighter than the fairy lights strung above you, "Emily called me, she said you wanted me to come get you?"

"Spencer!" You cheer, and Emily shares her strength with you to hoist you into his arms where you cling to him like a koala bear, "Spence, you're here! There was this guy, and he tried holding my hand, and-"

"Oh, no," Spencer scrunches his nose, unable to stop himself from laughing when you take it as an invitation to smear yours against his own, "Not a guy! Are you okay, angel?"

"Mhm," You hum, tucking your face into his shoulder, "You're here now, Spence. And you brought a blanket, just like I asked."

"Of course I did," He beams, wrapping his arm tightly around your back as you settle over him like dead weight, "Uh- guys, can we get a bill?"

"Just go," Rossi waves him off, patting his pocket where you all know his rather thick wallet lies, "Take her home now, so that she can't run up my card with any more drinks, and I'll pay for the ones she already had."

"Thanks Rossi," Spencer grins awkwardly at him, flashing the man a strained thumbs-up before he has to use that hand to support the backs of your thighs once more, "Okay, honey, ready to go?"

You don't answer, and Derek leans sideways to peek at you.

"She's out," He snickers, "Pretty boy, make sure she's still breathing when you get home, alright?"

"Got it," Spencer chuckles breathily, "Okay, uh- bye guys."

There's a chorus of send-offs, and Hotch tilts his glass at Reid with an amused twinkle in his dark eyes, "Make sure you're both on time Monday. Hangovers don't excuse you from duty."

[sanjisboyfie]

one piece smau: dating sabo edition

liked by sabosbf, kokoala, and 10k others

[name]sblondie: this is exactly why im always late to work

tagged: sabosbf and d.dragon

sabosbf: DONT TAG YOUR BOSS????? HES GONNA FUCKING KILL ME??????

-> kokoala: LMFAOAOOA

-> sabosbf: i'm fuckin scared what is going on koala

d.dragon: This is hardly an acceptable reason to be late to work, Sabo.

-> [name]sblondie: boohoo just say youre sad and single

-> divaiva: SABO you're so dead.

freeluffy: cuddling is worth it

[liked by d.dragon, kokoala, and 200 others]

-> kokoeala: just heard dragon-san gasp in his office hold on u might be saved

-> [name]sblondie: thankgodthankgodthankgod

-> freeluffy: huh?

liked by [name]sblondie, divaiva, and 18k others

sabosbf: he's urethral guys idk

tagged: [name]sblondie

[name]sblondie: i think you're urethral too baby

-> sabosbf: i love u i knew u would get my humor

-> [name]sblondie: of course i would my love <333

portgasace: no fucking way u two are real

dni_nami: something is telling me theres something wrong with the caption, but lemme not

-> sabosbf: what's wrong with it :0?

-> dni_nami: ....

divaiva: u two are the cutest (please change that caption, i'm telling you this out of the kindess of my heart)

[liked by kokoala, portgasace, and 140 others]

-> [name]sblondie: my boyfriends caption is perfectly fine

liked by [name]sblondie, sabosbf, and 19k others

portgasace: barfed in my mouth i hate them

tagged: [name]sblondie and sabosbf

[name]sblondie: be nice to ur brother in law damn

-> freeluffy: [NAME] IS OUR BROTHER IN LAW NOW !?!?!?!?

-> [name]sblondie: future* brother in law my bad

-> freeluffy: booooo :(

sabosbf: yeah i hate u too ace, the only rzn u ever go out w us is so u can leech off our wallets

-> portgasace: thats a fuckign lie asshole

-> sabosbf: BROKE ASS

[liked by [name]sblondie, freeluffy, and 100 others]

boahancock: luffy's brother and luffy's brothers boyfriend are so cute <3

-> [name]sblondie: damn she don't even know our names

-> portgasace: professional luffy dickrider (for some rzn)

kokoala: my favorite gays <3333

-> [name]sblondie: ?????

-> sabosbf: thank u koala ;)

-> [name]sblondie: ???????

liked by sabosbf, portgasace, and 20k others

[name]sblondie: guys do u think he loves spiderman more than me

tagged: sabosbf

sabosbf: if peter parker hit my line, im sorry

-> [name]sblondie: ????????

sabosbf: his theme song is my ringtone for u so i guess it connects?

-> [name]sblondie: YOU GUESS???

-> sabosbf: that just means ur my spiderman baby >///<

-> [name]sblondie: DONT TRY TWISTING THIS IN A COMPLIMENTARY WAY U JUS CONFIRMED THAT IM UR SECOND CHOICE

kokoala: spiderman >>>> any other man

-> sabosbf: u get me koala ughhh

portgasace: good taste [name], gooooddd tasteee

-> sabosbf: hehe

-> [name]sblondie: WHAT THE FUCK????????? STOP FLIRTING WITH OTHER MEN RIGHT NOW???

liked by [name]sblondie, divaiva, and 16k others

sabosbf: got jumpscared by this pic in my cameraroll pls someone buy this guy brown contacts

tagged: [name]sblondie

[name]sblondie: me looking at u when u wake up 🧿🧿

-> sabosbf: its ok babe jus please maybe think about blinking a little bit longer

kokoala: cannot hold a conversation with him without feeling like hes thinking about murdering me

-> portgasace: what i said

divaiva: nooo you'd ruin his natural beauty :<

-> [name]sblondie: thank u iva <3

-> [name]sblondie: YOU JUST VENMOED ME 40 BUCKS WITH THE MSG "listen to [name]" ???

-> sabosbf: LMFOAOA babe don't actually buy contacts i love ur eyes theyre pretty :3

d.dragon: They are quite terrifying.

[liked by kokoala, divaiva, and 90 others]

liked by sabosbf, kokoala, and 19k others

[name]sblondie: boyfriend appreciation post because even though hes got a weird sense of humor, hes still mine (...i guess)

tagged: sabosbf

sabosbf: HEHEHE he loves meeeeee

sabosbf: ok why that ugly ass photo of me as the second one what the hell is wrong w u u just hate me

sabosbf: I LOVE U SABO, LOVE UUU

-> [name]sblondie: love u too handosme (...i guess)

-> sabosbf: STOP WITH THE I GUESS i'd choose u over peter parker anyday baby pleaseee

portgasace: not [name] picking up on me and luffy's appetite too

[liked by kokoala, [name]sblondie, and 100 others]

-> freeluffy: bigger appetite is the best appetite !

sabosbf's story

RESTRAIN ME??? MY SEXY BOYFRIEDN IN MENSWEAR HOLY SHIT IM CREAMINNNNGGGG

[name]sblondie replied to your story: u shouldve told me sooner, i'll wear them more often now just for u babe ;)

[nickel156]

My rankings of the Inner Circle:

Strap in.

Worst at # 6

Cassian

I hate him. For so many reasons. So so many. Mostly that damn hike. Then is there an apology for making her suicidal?? No. He's a shit for brains. Can burn in the depths of hell so Nesta can move on with someone who will actually tell her he loves her.

#5 Amren

Bitch should have stayed dead. All she is, is a cranky old nag. Who says "keep reaching out your hand" Yet never does!! Why couldn't you join her while she listens to bands? Or try to do things Nesta enjoys instead of forcing her to do the things you want her to do Then telling her she's a waste of life!

#4 Rhysand

Why most of the fandom forgives him for his SA against Feyre UTM is beyond me. If my friend told me a guy drugged her, then made her dance for him in slutty outfits as he touched her. But it was all for a good cause! Girl please. Who are you gaslighting? Then the whole pregnancy shit. But the real nail for him, was his treatment of Tamlin. He literally saved your fucking life and this is what you do? At least you'll have your buddy with you in hell!

#3 Mor

Is said to be this powerful apex predator. Where? 👀 Seriously where is this predator with all her crazy truth powers? Or her badass fighting skills?? She compared Nesta to the fae of HC who beat her and nailed a sign to her stomach.. like how? Nesta hasn't hurt anyone? Just your precious little HL's bottomless wallet. I'm so apathetic about Mor, I'd rather have a Jurian x Vassa Novella. Or Helion x Autumn Lady

#2 Feyre

Was a bit iffy on where to put her, but honestly she's the most hypocritical Bitch. You didn't want to be High Lady, wear a crown, wear dresses every day, or be a prized breeding mare. (HER WORDS it's literally what she calls it.) The irony. She became everything she claimed to hate. But hey Rhys at least didn't lock you up. Nooo that's what you do to Nesta! Just because she's number 2 just means the bar is set so damn low it's laughable.

#1 Azriel

Never thought I'd see the day where he was my favorite of the flying rodents, or my favorite of the IC. But I've grown to really like his character. And I like where it's potentially going. All of the good things he's done, outweighs the bad imo. He didn't behave terrific in acosf but in comparison to everyone else, he's leagues ahead.

[cakerybakery]

Adamsapple week- prompt Marriage

Lucifer slammed his phone back down and glared at Adam from across the table.

“Is everything alright, Lucifer?” Sera asked, annoyed at the interruption as she spoke.

“Yeah. Spam message.” On occasion his phone would buzz but Lucifer wouldn’t pick it up.

Instead he listen to Sera the best he could. She was so boring and he itched to look at the dirty pictures Adam was blowing his phone up with. To look at the crude drawings of sex acts and ask why Adam was sending them.

How Adam managed to draw such a detailed penis with his hand and cell phone in his pocket was nothing short of talent.

It wasn’t until the meeting was halted for a break and Lucifer slammed the sinner against the wall in a utility closet that he got an answer to why Adam was sending him the drawings.

“To keep the romance alive. Duh.” He puffed up his chest, “Eve used to think it was funny when I did stuff like that in front of the angels. Took her hand and fucked her finger with my fist for a moment like I was jerking off a dick.”

Did Adam seriously think that doing simulation sex acts when no one can see was romance?

“Why do you think you need to do that?”

Adam looked at Lucifer like he was an idiot. “Cause that’s the shit you do when you’re married.”

Lucifer’s brain crashed for a second. “We’re not married, Adam.”

“Ah, yeah we are. We even fucked. Sounds pretty married to me.”

Ohh nooo.

They did fuck. Like three months ago. A lonely, desperate night where Lucifer had been drunk off his need for connection, to be with another person, to feel something, anything. Adam was possibly the only other being in the universe who understood how deep his loneliness ran.

How he and Lilith loved each other, but it was a love born of being each other’s only connection. Adam opened up and his relationship with Eve echoed his and Lilith’s.

Under the moonlight Adam made the first move. Lucifer assumed it was another one night stand for Adam. One of the countless he endlessly bragged about when he was supposed to be sharing his feelings in the group therapy at the hotel.

He was lonely and missed the feeling of being wanted, physically, so he reciprocated.

“What exactly gave you the impression we were married?” Lucifer released Adam. Their position now reeking of intimacy instead of intimidation.

Adam was smug. “Uhh, I let you fuck me? I’ve only let Eve do that. And I talk to you about my feelings.” He started holding up his fingers at this point. “We’ve gone on dates. I get you presents. We hang out all the time.”

That did sound familiar. Adam seeking Lucifer out whenever Lucifer stopped by the hotel, telling him about his day or week if Lucifer hadn’t been there in awhile. Adam giving him a basket of berries from the bushes he was growing or flowers. Adam inviting him out to go to the hardware store, to the park, to get something to eat afterwards.

Lucifer assumed Adam just needed Lucifer to be his wallet. That the food and flowers were Adam showing off. That talking to him was his way of bragging.

“We don’t live together?”

“So? I spent lots of time away from the house. Working and tending the sheep, moving them to different pastures. Months huntings without seeing Eve.”

Lucifer hadn’t realized that for the last three months Adam had been, in his own clumsy way, courting him. Or maybe the proper term was romancing him. Treating Lucifer like he had Eve.

A woman he had just been given as a wife. There was no dating, to talking, she was just his wife. So he did things for her. Tried to make her laugh, providing her with food and pretty things she might like, telling each other about their days.

“Those acts are how you tell apart a spouse from everyone else?”

Now Adam was as confused as Lucifer, “yeah. Did- have you… did you not think of me the same way?”

He pulled away, his cheeks were turning red then Adam turned his face to stone. Looking nonchalant and unbothered.

“Usually you talk about that sort of thing before hand. I was just surprised.” Lucifer had hurt Adam’s pride.

“Whatever.” Adam went to push past him, “no big deal.”

Lucifer stepped in the way. “I’m flattered.” Now that he knew what Adam had been doing the feelings he felt about those acts changed in his mind. He was feeling foolish for not noticing sooner.

For not reciprocating.

If he was opposed to the idea of being with Adam he never would have fucked him the first time. Lucifer just wasn’t thinking Adam would take it seriously. He never took anything in hell seriously.

“Being married doesn’t sound so bad. Although I think we should work on communication.” Lucifer reached up to Adam still guarded face.

It didn’t take more than cupping it in his hand for Adam to break a little to lean the slightest bit into the hand.

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner.”

“Yeah, well. It’s, whatever. I wasn’t-“ Lucifer cut him off with a kiss.

Adam gasped and groaned, leaning into him. It was obvious Adam was pent up. He’d been waiting three months for his husband to touch him again.

Pulling away, Lucifer shot off a text to Sera that he wasn’t coming back as something came up. Then he turned off his phone. “I think we need a honeymoon.”

Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe they were rushing into this. But like that’s stopped him before.

“And I want to hear more about this Eve fucking you thing.” Lucifer was sure it was another case of him misunderstanding Adam, but it sounded interesting.

He opened a portal to Adam’s room so they could start packing.

“There’s not much to tell. She was made from me, and I’m a man, so sometimes he felt like a boy and I let him fuck me. But that’s special. I don’t care about banging chicks but I only let my husband fuck me.”

Lucifer supposed it made as much sense as anything else in Adam’s weird life.

[leclerced]

abt the blindfold ask……….

lance begging reader to stay the night with him after they fuck (because our nepo baby is so spoiled he just can’t follow the rules) and ofc reader is like “nooo” and is sweet and laughs it off and kisses him goodnight but she doesn’t hesitate to tell lando about it and lando has a not so good reaction….

lance is so used to getting his way he doesn’t know what to do when he’s told no

lando asks her what took so long when she comes back later than usual and she’s all giggly when she crawls into bed with him and is like “lance was trying to convince me to stay, promised to buy me whatever i wanted. said he’d take me out shopping in the morning.”

lando would snort, “did you tell him you’ve got my card in your wallet and i already buy you anything you want?” he’s trying to keep his cool and be funny, but she can hear the irritation in his voice and knows he’s debating storming down to lance’s room to tell him if he ever finds our he asked her to abandon lando in favor of him ever again, he will end his life. he puts lance on his shit list for weeks, lando doesn’t even let him close enough to talk to her until lando gets over it and puts him back in rotation, but he’d only let lance fuck her while he’s in the room w them and he’s quick to wrap her up in a robe right afterwards then carry her away to his room for a bath before lance can even think about trying to convince her to stay the night.

[siremasterlawrence]

In The Spiral

Jackson Michael Piven is the CEO and head of the largest and most major label Quest Modeling agency to hit the scene since the main ones have shuttered.

Jackson is disgusted at the sight of this ass of a nerdy guy walking in to the main studio room as he is thinking a lot of god awful bits in his head.

The man slams the door locking it at his one sight just shock but before he can say a single word and reach for his gun the man pulled out his own.

“Where did you come from?”

“Put that shit down”

“Or what ? Motherfucker”

“What did you say?”

“Get ready”

“SET”

“Go!”

“NOOO!”

“BOOM!”

“Do me a favor?”

“I’ll do anything “

“Drop your wallet, keys and such”

“Your belt “

“Strip”

“Get on top of the desk”

“Do a dance “

The man pulls the trigger shooting in to the air the bullet ricocheting from wall to wall as he hit in the chest sending his back flying in to the wall.

He slid down to the wall hitting his ass on to the ground shaking his body out of the way for a second and soon he flails out of his way.

He hits his back wit his eyes rolling back in to the sockets, turning into spirals he finally succumbs to his will and soon he stood up to his side.

“What the bloody piss is going on?”

“Calm down fuck face”

“Piss off”

“Bitch”

“Yes Sir”

“Tie him up”

“Strap him down”

“Strip him”

“Master”

“As you wish”

“Hurry Up!”

“My lover”

“Let me go”

“Fuck off!”

“Mind if I climb on you “

“Like you have a choice “

“It’s all I want “

“About to fuck you”

“Slip it off”

“Finally”

“Play with me”

“Yes Master

The end

[dirtbagcore]

guysss if i wrote a saiki k × bbc merlin crossover would you read it? ( 〃▽〃) like imagine. saiki having an accident and just showing up in the middle ages.

Merlin: oh no! hes just a child and Uther is putting him on the pyre without trial? this is an outrage!

Saiki: nooo dont light me on fire i have my wallet in these jeans :(

...

Merlin: ??? oh nvm hes fine. thats cool

Merlin, internally: (me core?????)

Uther: rahhhh! die!

Saiki: im not gonna die. you cant make me

like, the POV switches and it goes from "sun beats down on the backs of those from the lower town, summer reaching its peak as the solstice had just passed a fortnight ago."

to "man this suuuucks. i miss video games and indoor plumbing. fuck kusuke this is all his fault."

+ he gets to wear a cool blindfold cause of his whole 'turning ppl to stone' thing and have everyone know hes got crazy powerful "magic" lmao. the possibilities are endless. im gonna write that right now

[mondaymelon]

STAWP DAN HENG IS SO HUBBY. LIKE UR SO RIGHT I’VE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE SLAY IRL W RED EYELINER N HORNS. HE’S JUST… BETTER.

but on the topic of anime men HAVE U SEEN THE LUXIEM X SANRIO COLLAB. OMF TAKE MY WALLET IM SO BROKE BUT ITS A NEED n have u heard/seen k9 kuro from vshojo? :) 🤫💞😹

me 2 u <3

NOOO DAN HENG WOULD COOK. HE WOULD CLEAN. HE WOULD CARE FOR AND PROVIDE. WE ALL NEED A DAN HENG IN OUR LIVES. where is he. i placed an order for him on aliexpress months ago and he still hasnt arrive oh noooo did he suffocate in the packaginggg...?? (FR DAN HENG IS JUST BUILT DIFFERENT. THE OTHER MEN IN HSR CANT EVEN COMPARE... okay but like j i n g y u a n allll im saying is that i would kiss himm and maybe)

OMOMGOMGOMGOM EEK THEYRE SO CUTE?!??! IF I HAD MONEY IN MY WALLET ID GIVe IT ALL TO NIJI EVEN WITH THEIR SHITTY MERCH DISTRIBUTION RATES PleASE THEY ALL FIT SO WELL WA A A. A H THE COLOR SCHEMES MA T C H

K9 KURO??!?!? OMG. LOVE HIM. WAKE UP eARLY EVERY FUCKING dAY. WHEN I TOLD YOU. I S C R E A. M E D. S O B E B. E D . C R I E D . when i heard him again. actually wild. i was so miserable for the weeks after his graduation but im so glad to see him happy and reincarnated!!! matara chan too heheheheh gotta love vishoujo for it :) i just dont watch streams on twitch very often which is a bit of a shame cause thats all vishoujo really does but yk ill get more and more into it :))) k9 KURO MY BELOVEDDDD <3333 LOVE HIM SO MUCH I WATCHED HIS ENTIRE FIRST STREAM AFTER DEBUT AND CRIED-LAUGHED FOR LIKE THE ENTIRE DURATIONNN ESP DURING THE HORROR GAMES PART WAAHH

henlo. for you <3

[novashelby]

OC Interview

Thank you @evita-shelby for tagging me. :) I am going to answer for Evie because my other OCs are tragic stories. Evie

Are you named after anyone? Well...we don't really talk about the womb provider who named me. I'd like to think not. But! Aunty Polly gave me a middle name after her favorite flower.

🌹Evelyn Rose Shelby. 🌹

When was the last time you cried?

It was a long day at school-(Finn: you get out at one....). Ahem! Is this your interview or mine? Thought so. As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted...It was a long day at school. Daddy just the day before got me something from the bakery. I placed it in a very special spot in the press-(Finn: Everyone knows where your special spot is....). Seriously, Finn, who invited you? So...daddy placed it for me in a special spot. You know how bad I wanted that pastry? I was running home for it....(Finn: Evie, your lunch is at 11:30...there is no fuckin' way you're hungry). Excuse you, you know what happens when I don't eat hourly....Anyway, I got home, grabbed a chair from the table to reach into the press. It was gone! I cried. (Finn: She threw a tantrum). I was devastated! I have my suspicions of who ate it.

(John: I refuse to stand for this slander!)

Do you have any kids?

I-(Tommy: She better fuckin' not for another fifteen years....why ya' askin' her that?) Daddy...no, but me and Peter want many babies-(Tommy: Peter who?) And we got married in the courtyard during break. (Tommy: didn't even bloody fuckin' ask me...).

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Nooo, of course not, what's that? (Tommy: I don't even know where she gets it from!)

(Ada: It's a bonding moment).

What is the first thing you notice about people?

Their nose...like right up their nose. Kind of a character flaw when you're shorter than everyone. (Finn: she has a habit of staring...then saying what she sees up their nose.) (Tommy: It's humiliating when it's a parent-teacher conference at her school and it's the nun-) (Grace: It was suppose to be our bonding moment...Go to her school and make an appearance. I, um, no longer want to make an appearance). Listen, someone had to tell Sister Francis what was in there.

What is your eye color?

Blue. (Finn: She's colorblind...her eyes are hazel-green).

Any special talents?

Many-(Finn: Absolutely nothing!) (Tommy: My baby girl is good at many things...giving me a headache, for one. The second being...Turing that headache into an aneurysm.) Daddy....(Tommy: OI! She's also good making the money in my wallet disappear...magic!) I'm good at baking (John: she burns everything). It's called crisping! (Finn: It's called watching the timer and not taking a nap while something is in the oven!) Whatever...I can sing! (Ada: She's good a making ears bleed. 🙃) Fine, I'm very good at being bad at everything.

Scary movies or happy endings?

(John: *snorts, laughing* Happy endings for me, eh?) Huh...(Tommy: don't worry about it....) Oh, ok. Um...I like happy ending stories.

Where were you born?

Daddy....*frowns* (Tommy: she doesn't know...c'mere, love).

Do you have any pets?

Daddy won't let me....(Tommy: she can barely keep herself alive.)

How tall are you?

...... (Finn: It's a sensitive topic....). (Polly: She's just reached 4'10...measured her against the wall just yesterday.)

What was your favorite subject in school?

LUNCH!

What is your dream job?

Peter says I don't have to work....he's gonna provide for me. He delivers the newspaper... (Tommy: WHO the fuck is Peter? Evie....)

I think everyone I know with OCs has been tagged, but I am gonna try anyway: @runnning-outof-time, @wonderlanddreamer, @moral-terpitude and honestly anyone else who wants to do it. Just tag me for I can read it. :)

[pawbeanies]

MR paw beanies !!!! taking youuu takin you by the shoulders with my fuckass kitty paws. shaking you soft so so soft please please mr paw beanieas you would cool as fuck cosplaying as lyney genshin impact. lyney gensjin impact,,, becoming puppy boy,, exploding also WOAHS mr beanies you are a cool big number pup !!! bapping you petting you

-🌾🌼

WAHHH WAHHHH WAHHHH KITTEY..!!! kitteeyy hi hi hi holding your paws in my paws i saw this and went tail wagging sooo soo sooooo fast !!! helloooo

nooo noo kittey dont encourage me. do NOT encourage me to do silly silly things with my money i am easily persuaded ... i say. pulling out my wallet. hmmhmm. im puppyfying himmm maybe maybe maybe

but also waaAAH bapping YOU bapping YOU!!! bapping you petting you putting yuor paws in my mouth going nom nom nom

[ask-the-cyclone]

Ricky won! (damn ngl i thought constance would win!)

Alright fine. Heres my wallet, but only for a few hours. dont make me go broke ricky im begging you-

-🌌(im your favorite? :D)

[Ooh what P O W E R]

Ughh this is not fair. I was just saying the rules!

[I don’t really have anything I want to buy with this… ooh I have an idea!]

Oh nooo

[Let’s go to Taco Bell! I’ll- well, this anon will pay]

FUCK YOU

[Noel I’m kidding! Let’s all get ice cream. Connie will you drive?]

Sure! Let’s go kiddos

ICE CREAM ICE CREAM ICE CREAM

*joins in* ICE CREAM ICE CREAM…

(Of course you’re my fav! 🫶)

[chaoticgremlinbrainspace]

wow me thinking about dick Greyson? more likely than you think!

Disclaimer I am just a guy on the internet having a self indulgence time for fun, my grasp on canon vs Fanon is shakier than when I tried rope climbing in P.E also I am not a trained medical professional all things related to adhd I talk about come from Personal Experience or further research FOOD AND TEXTURE: fun fact, people with adhd can hyper fixate on foods, found that out from my mom’s doctor. so I think dick definitely has foods that he fixates on and will prefer to eat over other foods. also he would have foods he just can't fucking eat because of taste or texture, like for example when I was younger I refused to eat fried eggs but I would eat boiled eggs, even better example jellies and puddings are things I can eat bc it activates my gag reflex and I hate the way they feel, physically can't swallow them without feeling sick. so ya know ya boy is gonna project that onto the dickster lol. I think he would probably hyperfixate on foods that fall into a similar category of each other I know I do lol. my food hyperfication has been crushed up instant ramen. and has been for a while but specially a certain kind. think dick would hyperfixate on certain brands of cereal because ive seen the “dick likes sugar cereal” thing floating around, and because this the projection corner I think he prefers to eat it a certain way, probably dry because of easy transporting and he can bring as a quick snack for when hes on the go, but I think he also would like the crunchy texture and mouth feel. again projection corner I think he would fucking hate gelatinous foods with a passion. but also like gritty foods would probably be a no go. like he can eat them if he needs too because bat training and all that doesn't mean he would enjoy it lol. and like I feel like when hes knighting hes just in a consent state of near discomfort bc hes masking so hard(lol)  so when hes dick Greyson he sorta lets lose a bit and his symptoms are worse or hes allowed to be particular about things like food when hes a civilian.  and I think he probably likes the texture of the nightwing suit otherwise he would peel his skin off. projecting is fun so I think he would hate rough and scratchy clothes and bed sheets are the bane of his existence so he kicks them off before going to bed other wise he can't sleep. he probably fidgets with his gadgets quite a bit especially when on patrol and hes looking around and nothing much is happening. I think dick would do the leg bounce tm as a civilian a lot maybe play with his hair if its long, or just generally messing with with when hes nervous or fidgeting. idk I guess im making nightwing his “nooo guys dw im super normal im just like everyone I am a functional put together adult haha” which its funny bc masking. I think this dude would have so many built in work arounds like (projecting) audio processing problems, so he probably has people either reapet or smth to like record and play back that or hes just really smooth about (smile and nod and hope to god that was the correct answer) anyway sorry back on topic, i  have dick having a stuffed animal named zitka (?) that an elephant and like hell yeah, but also I think his thing is very much a “ive had a bad time today and I just need to destress for a bit and hold something soft/familiar in a dark room for a bit” as you can tell I am projecting onto dick Greyson a lot lol. anyway I think he would also struggle to like, eat consistently, like eating too much or eating too little bc he gets distracted with a case then over compensates or he gets bored and then eats to get some form of stimulation(I do this lol) I just think dick would chew on things but be embarrassed about it(projection) but yeah I just think this asshole would have a system tm that no one else gets bc his room just looks dirty as hell but hes like Nono guys I set my bag and wallet in the same spot in the corner of the room because if I dont I will spend 30 minutes looking for it and it will be in the freezer. that and I think he would either do really well with cold foods or really badly. I think dick is the kinda guy that would leave his sodas out overnight so they stop being fizzy bc he hates the feeling of the fizz(projecting) but yeah overall I think he prefer sweeter foods as like his comfort/perfered foods. I also like the hc that he can cook he just doesn't have a lot of time too, so he snacks a lot bc he needs the energy. adding my own shit onto it, executive dysfunction got his ass like “I could get up and make a sandwich I know what I need to do I have the ingredients and im hungry but I can't fucking get up to do it” anyway funtimes in hyperfixation with grem thanks for reading the insane rambles <3

[ranty-ramblestein]

(captions~) - After beating up two gyms, Nemona, a titan, and Giacomo (who I kept accidentally calling Giancarlo... Sorry!) I decided it was time for Look #3 for Paldean Skye!  I like droopy eyes more, and I wanted to be able to wear hats again.  Big boots are also fun~

- After beating Iono Skye had to tell yet another person that she didn’t want to be a Champ before returning Kofu’s wallet and breeding some more mons for the ‘dex. (I want all forms of flabebe-florges and im still missing all the orange ones...)  The cheese slice on the far left there clipped through the lower bread slice, lol.  Oh, and I finally realized the Notices menu keeps track of your sandwich powers... I feel dumb for not noticing that sooner, ugh.

...Then I checked the post-Badge #3 classes and realized I unlocked Mid-terms, nooo!!

pic 1: dec 17th: "I can't wait to see the face you make when I kick your shit in!"  ...I wish she was fake, but I know she's not. (Well, I don't know that bc I'm still avoiding story spoilers...) pic 2: Babe, you blind?  That's the blurriest display I've even seen, and... what the fuck did you do to the keyboard?? pic 3: OMG, my second favorite Kanto bug...  Can't wait to ramble about Venonat with this guy. (I'm not going back to Badges for a while, probably...) pic 4: I decided to change up the eye and eyelash shape this time!  Too bad this is the closest I can get to being a bangs girl... pic 5: Yup, I'm rocking the black and white ribs backpack, heh!  This puffy hat cost 26k, wtf... :( pic 6: dec 18th: the desert sure is filled with dust, holy shit??? pic 7: ...Would this be harder to spot in his Scarlet outfit, when he has a red jacket? pic 8: "I already told Mr. Hassel NO.  I'm only getting badges so my Pokemon obey me!" Skye grumbled. pic 9: "...Well then," the woman frowned, displeased. pic 10: Finally decided to look at the sandwiches I unlocked (haven't picnic'd since i started getting badges) and found this egg power one, but I thought there would be more cheese and bananas.  bad bites...

[metamelonisle]

I posted 16,214 times in 2022

That's 8,660 more posts than 2021!

4,303 posts created (27%)

11,911 posts reblogged (73%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kirbyofthestars

@zangoonse

@bizzybi

@metamelonisle

@aether96

I tagged 8,157 of my posts in 2022

Only 50% of my posts had no tags

#paint.txt - 3,234 posts

#askbox - 488 posts

#not sfw - 245 posts

#fave - 222 posts

#negative - 163 posts

#ask to tag - 141 posts

#inkverse - 129 posts

#dbz - 107 posts

#unsanitary - 104 posts

#kirby - 72 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#you expect adeleine to go ‘’nooo dont’’ but bc she’s from a different planet she’s also eagerly shoveling for cool stuff (nuclear waste)

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

man fuck you if you don't like kirby as a character. he's a little guy who loves his friends. what more could you want from him

636 notes - Posted August 28, 2022

#4

if wario met a trans woman he would be like “WOAH! HOT BABE ALERT! wanna buy my microgames” and then walk off with your wallet

708 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

#3

[loud, dramatic, warbling voice] GUUYYYYS Y'GOTTA HELP ME! THERE'S A LITTLE GUY IN MY BRAIN AND HE WANTS ME TO DRAW HIM

772 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

#2

1,659 notes - Posted August 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

when juno is mad and knows he's been had

2,012 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

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