#False Pretenses

[lineffability]

hey remember when aziraphale and crowley ran into each other in rome and aziraphale said 'well then let me tempt you to- oh, no, that's your job, isn't it, haha'? what if crowley succumbed to the temptation in more ways than one? what if they had oysters and sex about it? then what?

wordcount: 17,8k rating: explicit tags: PWP, Rome 41AD, oysters, so many oysters, so many orgasms too, banter, little bit of emotion little bit of angst, but mostly fun, oysters and aardvarks, food kink, oral fixation, roman baths, an oyster is never just an oyster, and what is love but hunger (more tags on ao3)

READ ON AO3 🦪

[chisamayas]

Chapter 7 of False Pretenses is up!! Thank you for reading <33

[levwrites]

False Pretenses

Part 1: The Spark

At the peak of the war between angels and demons, a demon general finds out a newly captured angel is his soulmate - or is he? 

Stuck in enemy territory, an angel needs to escape before his nemesis finds out his true identity - or worse, before the lie he’s weaving between them comes to light. 

When his friend goes missing in enemy territory, Nimai loses all reason. It’s not a good idea to sneak into demon lands searching for them, and yet he makes a plan that’s bound to fail and goes anyway. 

He is the first one not to be surprised when he’s found and captured. 

The demons bind his wings in an uncomfortable harness meant to keep angels grounded. They touch them to do it, which is worse than the harness itself. The crawling sensation makes Nimai grit his teeth and fight not to lash out and make the situation worse for himself. If he fights back, they will break them. 

They hang him up by his wings and leave him in a cold, dark cell, waiting. 

What a foolish way to die. He hopes his friend will never know what happened to him. They are probably dead. Nimai is a pragmatic angel, and maybe - just maybe - he doesn’t want to live in a world without them. 

It takes about an hour before the door opens again and none other than Commander Zeran walks in. 

Despite having made peace with his circumstances, the sight of the demon still makes Nimai tense up. There’s no real way to escape, no one will come to rescue him. Now it’s a matter of going out with dignity, and keeping his lips sealed. 

That won’t be possible if Zeran recognizes him. 

Nimai hides behind his hair, head hung low, and listens as the footsteps approach. 

“I am told you were found putting your nose where it doesn’t belong,” Zeran says, a hint of amusement to his words. “Awfully unwise of you.” He takes a minute to circle Nimai’s bound form, watching him, his bound wings, the simple uniform he’s wearing - not his usual, proper uniform, thank the gods. 

When he’s done, he comes in front of him and reaches for his hair, taking hold of the roots and pulling Nimai’s head back. “Now, let’s see what…” His voice trails off, his dark eyes going a little wide. 

Nimai looks back at him, blank faced, slowly breathing out. “Commander.” For once he allows his accent to give the words a gentle lilt. “A pleasure.” 

The demon tilts his head gently to the side, eyes strangely intense. “Hello, darling.” A soft murmur, almost awed. “What a situation you got yourself in, mh?” 

[tasteoftheforbidden]

"You are you, Malfoy. I'm sure I don't need to remind you why I never want to have anything to do with you."

Draco was taken aback by the unbridled look of disdain she sent his way. It's been awhile since he's seen such a look directed right at him. Memories of the war came flashing before his eyes, forcing him to look away, pushing back the memories into the corners of his mind.

Hermione watched him tear his eyes away from her own. Every prank. Every mocking remark. Every scathing tease. Every hurtful retort. She remembered it all. And he did it to her for no real reason at all. His actions and words were the root of all her childhood insecurities. Her teeth. Her hair. Her blood. Everything she had no control over he ridiculed. Her hatred towards him and everything he stood for had no bounds. But more than anything, she hated the fact that his words knew just where to hit her to make it hurt.

"Now if there is nothing else–"

"I heard Australia is a wonderful place."

Hermione felt her blood chill all the way down to her bones. She watched as he darted his gaze towards the picture frame on her table, before looking back at her knowingly. He knew. The bastard knew. "You fucking conniving son of a-"

"Before you start thinking about-"

"That was classified information-"

"If you would just listen-"

"How dare you even try to-"

"Would you calm down-"

"I will kill you with my own bloody-"

"Let me explain-"

"Get the fuck out!"

Draco stared at the red-faced woman before him, standing with her wand pointed straight at him. Her eyes were wild and her hair buzzed with sparks of magic. He raised both his hands up in a gesture of surrender.

"I'm not going to hurt your parents, Granger."

"I said, get out." Her tone was low and quiet, but there was a feral undertone to it.

"I'm here to offer help."

"Like I would believe anything–"

"Money, Granger. That's what I'm offering." Draco cut her off as he stood up slowly to his full height, hands still up in the air. "You're researching ways to reverse obliviation." He stated frankly, not bothering to ask for her affirmation. "Your current position at St. Mungos and the salary it provides you aren't enough. There are memory experts all over the world, both magical and muggle. If you're going to explore all possibilities, you would need a nearly inexhaustible amount of money."

Hermione was silent now. She still had her wand pointed at him, but all her anger was gone. She was looking at him with wide eyes, torn between wanting to listen to his offer and wanting to call his bluff.

Draco brought his hands down to his sides, his gaze on her firm and unyielding. "My family's peace, in exchange for your family's reunion."

As much as I adore the 'they were secretly attracted to one another' Dramione stories, I will always prefer a legitimate enemies to friends to lovers set up 💕

Happy birthday to False Pretenses 🎂

[kaleidodreams]

I only managed to write one thing for this year's Sailor Moon Rare Pair Week, but at least it's a fairly long one-shot. I hope you enjoy this Rei/Yuuichirou fic!

Summary: Devoted to Usagi and her duty as Sailor Mars, Rei is determined not to fall in love, refusing to follow in her workaholic father’s footsteps. When said father tries to set her up with the son of one of his political allies, however, she impulsively tells him she already has a boyfriend. Yuuichirou agrees to escort her to the fancy fundraiser dinner Senator Hino invites them to, posing as her partner, but when his biggest secret is surprisingly revealed, Rei learns they have more in common than she ever imagined. (FF.net)

[dramioneasks]

Hello! I just finished reading false pretenses and I am left in tears!! I didn't expect it to play out the way it did and now I am left wanting more similar stories! It's a fake dating enemies to lovers with draco and hermione as substance abusers and they get together and clash and eventually heal.

Can you recommend similar works you're familiar with? Please and thank you!

Recompense - quicknotesquim - E, 32 chapters, Words: 121,072 - Since the war, Hermione has hidden away from the world, striving to restore her parent’s health using ever-darker magic. Draco, an ex-con and outcast, spends his nights chasing leads in an attempt to solve a heinous crime. After nearly a decade of dead ends, they meet again, only for their mutual secret to be unearthed — one that changes everything. With any luck, this unlikely pair will put their pasts behind them and discover love is worth the risk.

Build (Volume I: Ashes) by JessicaLovejoyAO3 - E, 21 chapters, Words: 158,265 - Following the Battle of Hogwarts and the Fall of Voldemort, the Golden Trio work to return to some semblance of normalcy and heal. The Ministry of Magic tries to rectify their past mistakes with swift retaliation across Europe for Death Eaters and their sympathizers. Hogwarts reopens 6 months after the Second War. The story begins in summer 1998, where everyone who returns to Hogwarts must complete an extended eighth year. The condition for all involved is at least 30 sessions of mandated therapy funded by the Ministry. Inspired by: Remain Nameless by heyjude19 Remain Nameless’s Draco often lamented how much time was lost with Hermione because he was a bigoted prat and mired in self-loathing. This work is a mental exercise that strives to answer the question of what would happen if DHr continued at Hogwarts after the war and had the proper supports to learn to forgive and heal together? Expect smut, therapy, and two-way notebooks.

Various Storms and Saints by viridianatnight - E, 48 chapters, Words: 199,835 - Mudblood. Hermione stared at the letters that besmirched her skin. They hadn’t healed since the day she was maimed.

-Lisa

[tenth-sentence]

If Frodo had really wanted to write a book, and had had many ears, he would have learned enough for several chapters in a few minutes.

"The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" - J.R.R. Tolkien

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

Watching a playthrough of dead plate and I'm at the dinner party part AND I think it'd be really funny if the attendees to the dinner party assumed rody was vincent's boyfriend and that's why he was helping out

[lineffability]

false pretenses is now a series of loosely connected smutty one shots in which I rewrite some of their encounters but (surprise) they have sex! (shock, gasp) kind of curious to explore how their dynamic would change a bit but stay fundamentally the same if they'd ~accidentally~ started partaking of the other's body very early on and then found they never really wanted to stop...but then there's the danger and the increasing feelings and the angst of not being able to do it outright - so they always bend the rules, and pretend...

[the two oneshots I've written so far are vive la révolution / 1793 french revolution and chocolates, honey / 1800 bookshop opening]

[chisamayas]

Chapter 5 of False Pretenses is up!! Thank you for reading <33

[opencommunion]

https://mondoweiss.net/2024/01/family-of-key-case-in-new-york-times-october-7-sexual-violence-report-renounces-story-says-reporters-manipulated-them/

[tasteoftheforbidden]

And #20... is False Pretenses 😶

[kaleidodreams]

Heavenly Pearl's Fic Review - False Pretenses

Next up is the only fic I wrote for this year's Sailor Moon Rare Pair Week, False Pretenses, featuring Rei/Yuuichirou.

Summary: Devoted to Usagi and her duty as Sailor Mars, Rei is determined never to fall in love, refusing to follow in her workaholic father’s footsteps. When said father tries to set her up with the son of one of his political allies, however, she impulsively tells him she already has a boyfriend. Yuuichirou agrees to escort her to the fancy fundraiser dinner Senator Hino invites them to, posing as her partner, but when his biggest secret is surprisingly revealed, Rei learns they have more in common than she ever imagined.

Thoughts: This fic actually turned out a lot longer than I expected (over 13,000 words) for a one-shot, and, to be honest, it probably should have been even longer. I think the story would have benefitted with a little more focus on Yuuichirou's strained relationship with his father as a parallel to Rei's, but I guess it turned out decent enough. I am happy that I finally got a chance to write a "fake dating" fic, though. That's a fic trope I tend to really enjoy, so I've been wanting to write one for a while. And, of course, I always love writing about Rei and her father!

[on-leatheredwings]

[ghouljams]

‘Stranger things have happened than the devil knocking up a witch’ that should not make me fold and yet it does- I am simply just a woman

As I work on their little baby fic I think to myself:

Price knew. He knew what he was doing, he knew there was a possibility, that every time he fucked her his seed might find fertile ground. Witch operated under the delusion that they were two incompatible creatures, hadn't heard stories of fae having babies with witches so she chose to believe it couldn't happen. She forgets, often, that she's human and that humans absolutely can have children with the fae. Price doesn't ever forget that fact. He fucks her and he hopes that this will be the one that takes, that he'll have another guarantee towards their wedding, that maybe he is the devil for not saying anything...

He just loves her so dearly, and he's only a man.

[cowlovely]

i truly do think that clara oswald is one of the characters of all time i’m sorry.