#Forgive me for any errors I am writing a lot of this from memory | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sharonrb · 2 years

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Summary: This is one of my favorite clips though it wasn't exactly the same one in the movie. Here you have these two gorgeous people sharing scenes together. They exudes sexual tension in my humble opinion. So much so I had to write A fanfic about them. Disclaimer: I'm not shipping them nor any characters. I do like what shippers post about their favorite ships. Any way there is more to this story .

(just a side note. I did proofread but we can't always catch everything. Nor with editing. So forgive any errors and have a good time reading. It's all in fun)

Enjoy!

Death is only the beginning

Chapter One

It was a quiet drive to the airport as Shuri stared out the window seated in the passenger side. She gazed up from time to time staring at her nephew, whom she had met seven months prior. It was a great shock to discover such a well kept secret. Young T’Challa was six years old; six years she had been cheated out of. And to think her brother who she thought would never keep something so important from her. She silently chuckled. Why not? Didn’t he do as much with his illness? She readjusted herself in her seat, tears forming in her eyes.

Nakia stared straight ahead as she drove down the path to their destination. It had been an enjoyment to have Shuri there with young T'Challa and herself. She was hoping this would be the beginning of healing for her. Losing T’Challa was bad enough but then to lose her mother Queen Ramonda in the way she did broke her. She feared this would lead her to a destructive path once she sought out a way to become the Black Panther and avenge her mother’s death. But she didn’t.

“Auntie Shuri,” T’Challa broke the silence. Shuri turned in her seat to look at him.

“Yes, My Prince,” she answered, mimicking partly what she said when her King T’Challa visited her lab.

“Will you be coming back?” He asked her. She glanced over to Nakia, with raised eyebrows. Nakia returned the gazed confused.

“Your nephew has grown to love you,” she begins. “You are all the family has, since the Queen is no longer with us. He only saw her a few times sparingly over the last year.” Shuri was informed. She grew quiet once again. T'Challa told their mother no doubt so she could watch over his son. But why didn’t her mother tell her? Then something came back to her memory. That of the beginning of a nightmare.

Her mother and her went by the lake to burn their mourning outfits. But she refused, noting to her mother to do so would feel like letting her brother go. That would cause the rage in her to want to burn down the world. She remembered her mother told her there was something about T’Challa she needed to tell her. She was interrupted by the elephants in the lake nearby. Something spooked them.

Shuri came back to the present. “Yes, My Prince, I will be back sooner than you think.” Nakia smiled at hearing Shuri tell him that. She will miss her not being there after getting use to her there. They came to the airport. Nakia searched for a parking place.

“No, Nakia.” Shuri touched her arm. “Let me off and go. I have said enough good byes to last me a lot time.” Nakia started to protest but seeing the sadness in Shuri’s eyes made her yield to her request. She leaned over and the two hugged. Shuri exited car and went to the back of it to hold her nephew for dear life. He was an extension of her brother, holding him was as if it was her brother in her arms. She closed the door turned swiftly and ran away so they could not witness the tears streaming down her face.

Okoye walked through the long cave until she came to room. There the Shaman stood over a bed monitoring someone laying in it. She only glanced up as Okoye entered. “Hello General,” she addressed her.

“How is the patient?” Okoye inquired. The Shaman sighed.

“There is no change,” she said. “all I am able to do is stabilize. When will Princess Shuri return?”

“She should be leaving as we speak,” Okoye informed her.

“Good, maybe she can come up with something. With this new variation of our old flowers, I’m not comfortable with it.” She told Okoye.

“I understand. But we need to reinstate her to her formal self or as close as possible.” Okoye stared down at the one who was in a deep sleep.

“I’m not sure if that will be obtainable, considering how close to death they came.” The Shaman shook her head. “And we shouldn’t encourage the Princess either.” She warned Okoye.

“I will not keep this secret any longer than I have,” Okoye's voice a little loud. She failed the royal family once she will not do it again.

Okoye left the Shaman to attending the patient and made her way to the throne room. She had requested and audience with the King. The guards on either side of the doors opened them for her as she approached; closing them after she was safely beyond them.

“General,” King M’Baku called to her; she continued towards him. She looked about the room seeing only Ayo and Aneka were presented. They had both been commanded to meet her there.

“King M'Buka,” she stopped in front of him crossing her arms, slightly bowing her head. “I have been informed Princess Shuri is flying home as we speak.” He shifted in his chair, Ayo and Aneka looked at each other than towards Okoye.

“Is this so?” Ayo asked.

“If this true,” Aneka began. “What are we going to do? I mean,” before she could finish.

“This is the day I dreaded.” M'Baku rose to his feet and walked over to the windows. “She has become like my little sister. I kept my promise to T'Challa, that I would look over her and Queen Ramonda. I failed at one, I will not with Shuri. She must be told.”

“I agree your Majesty.” Okoye interjected.

“Shuri will be angry with us,” Aneka said emotionally.

“We knew she would when agreed to keep it from her.” Ayo reminded her.

“But we were hoping to tell her with better news,” Aneka looked away.

“True,” M’Baku turned back to the three women. “But nothing has changed. Hopefully the time away will have given her some time to heal. And she will be receptive and not tear our heads off.” He laughed in the boisterous way he is known, but the women looked at each other.

He maybe joking, but they knew what he spoke is a great possibility. The sweet innocent Shuri they loved and knew had been gone nearly two years now. This version was the Black Panther, their protector; but unlike their previous King T'Challa, she was deadlier. Almost like her cousin Killmonger.

Shuri arrived at the airport outside of Wakanda, where a car awaited her. It will take her to a seconds field where an Wakandan ship sat cloaked to any onlookers. “Princess,” one of the Dora Milaje greeted her. Shuri gave the Wakandan salute and went inside the jet, followed by the Dorian.

“My Princess,” the pilot acknowledged her. Shuri saluted her in the same manner as she did the other. “Welcome home, we will be there in no time. Shuri settled in, exhaling.

She had been away for only a few months, but now it seems like years. It didn’t feel like a homecoming; so much has changed. No one related to her was there now. T'Challa first then her Mother. All she had was her brother’s son, young T'Challa. That is where her home would be, where heart was and he had it all.

“Home,” the pilot said breaking her train of thoughts. Shuri looked out as the jet flew over the countryside and the streams of water, passing over the cities heading towards the palace. After taking all of it in, there were no doubt she was home.

The jet approached the deck extending out from the palace. It made its descent and landed on the platform as the steps were lowered. Shuri stepped down and out of the jet seeing the King’s Guardsmen standing on each side, six men deep. In a distance she could see King M’Baku flanked by the three Dora Milaje; Okoye, Ayo and Aneka.

“My King,” she saluted him as she approached.

“My Princess.” He reciprocated the Wakandan gestured. A frown formed on her face.

“Why do you insist on calling me that?” She asked. “My family is no longer the rulers; I am no Princess.” There was a hint of sadness noted in what she said.

“You will always be the Princess of Wakanda, deal with.” His voice was stern. She looked upwards at him and saw he was dead serious. “Take the Princess to her room.” He ordered, turned and walked away. Okoye, Ayo and Aneka came to her, hugging her dearly.

“It has been so long, My Princess.” Okoye told her. “Welcome home.” Shuri smiled tears forming in her eyes. She looked over each of them as they repeated what was said. Nothing seems to have changed, and yet much had.

Chapter Two

Shuri walked about her room touching objects, pausing at pictures in various places and on her wall. These were memories of her family who were no longer with her. The tears stung her eyes, she took a quick swipe and held the others back.

“Are you alright, your Highness?” Okoye came up behind her.

“Yes, I’m fine,” she snapped. How could she be fine? After the battle with Namor and his people, she left to go to Haiti. She only grabbed a few things and her gown to burn. But being back here and seeing her family immortalized in images; just brought back the pain and rage she felt when she could not save her brother. But nothing could compare to the burning anger simmering in her heart; due to the death of her mother and how she died.

She may have spared Namor, but forgiveness is another thing. He took the one who gave her life and nature her all her life. That one person who knew her inside and out. The one she knew would always be there no matter what. He has no idea how much hate she held in her heart for him.

‘Yes Namor,’ she thought as she moved to her window and looked out over Wakanda. ‘It could have been different if you hadn’t killed the one person, I loved the most in this world. You attacked us causing so many of my people to lose their lives. Why?’ A gentle hand came to rest on her shoulder.

“I asked a stupid question,” Okoye said. “Of course, you aren’t alright. Any wound takes time to heal, and even then, it leaves a scar. Yours is one that runs deep. The time it will take is immeasurable; if ever. I will leave you to your privacy.” Okoye turned away and walked out the room.

Shuri watched her go and immediately felt bad. Okoye was like the big sister and would give her life to protect her. Because her going with Namor’s people to save Riri’s life. Her mother the Queen stripped Okoye of her rank. Gratefully King M’Baku saw it fit to reinstate her to that position.

Shuri looked around the room and felt the walls closing in on her. She needed space and to get out of there. Where to go? Her lab? No, she wasn’t ready to get back to work. Where? She thought for a moment, then it came to her. She slipped out of the palace without being noticed. There was one place she could go, that would have a bittersweet effect once she got there.

“Did the Princess settle in okay?” M’Baku asked as Okoye entered the throne room. There was an expression on her face that was alarming. He had seen this look a few times when things weren’t going well. “What is it?” He asked Okoye. Ayo and Aneka cause it too, something wasn’t right.

“Does she know?” Ayo asked. Okoye shook her head, then looked at M'Baku.

“I feel telling her the truth will only fuel the rage within her.” M'Baku sat quietly. He had feared as much. He was with her the night before they went to battle. He saw the fire burning in her and how much she was willing to risk by killing Namor.

“Nevertheless,” he stood. “She must be told. We owe that to her, even if we have to face her wrath.” He walked out the throne room. Ayo came up to her, flanked by Aneka.

“He is right,” Ayo told her.

“I know. But she’s in so much pain,” Okoye said. “It’s not fair for her to have to take on so much in such a small time. She was our little sister we had to protect.” Tears rolled Okoye face.

“True my General,” Ayo too her in her arms. “But some things even we can’t protect the ones we love from, or sworn to keep out harms way. We can only do our best.”

“But our best was still not good enough.” Aneka injected. “I know we are in alliance with the Talokans. Look how they invaded us with the best security system in place. Not to mention what we lost when we went out to lured Namor out.”

“We have talked about this,” Ayo said to Aneka. “Now is not the time.”

“No, she is right,” Okoye, said pulling herself together. Aneka was right. They have spent too much time concentrating on this big secret they forgot about the larger threat looming over them. Namor and the Talokaniles. “Since their attack we have done nothing to enhance our defenses.”

“Ayo do not trust this Namor will keep his word?” Ayo asked. Okoye turned to her second in command.

“Would you?” She asked.

“No General.” Ayo didn’t waste half a second.

“So, what are we going to do about it?” Aneka injected.

“First thing I will need to ask something very important of you two.” Okoye told them. Ayo and Aneka looked at each other then at Okoye. They could tell from the way she sounded when she said it. It was going to be a life changer.

Shuri made it to her destination. The place that began the beginning of the world as she knew it. The place where she along with her mother met their worst nightmare. Namor ruler of the time undersea world Talokan.

Her mind went back to that night he interrupted their burning of their mourning garments. And possibly her mother telling her T'Challa had a son. Another moment he destroyed. She found a log to sit on and went into deep thought. How do she go on without them in her life. Right now, she was just floating along. She felt as if she was back in Talokan, that beautiful Kingdom and it’s people.

They were not the blame for Namor and his insanity. That’s the only reason his life was spared; for them. Did she believe he would keep the agreement? Partially. He got what he wanted from them, alliance against the surface world. He knows after their failed attempt to steal vibranium; they will come for Wakanda. And not to mention the outsiders thinks Wakanda killed the explorers on the other ship. Therefore he feels the Wakandans will need to seek out his help.

“Not if I can help it,” she whispered. “He is not to be trusted.

“Hello Princess,” The water slightly splash. She looked at him as he rose from the lake and walked towards her; as he did that night. She will have to speak to M'Baku about modifying their defense system ally of no ally; he shouldn’t have free access to their land.

“Why are you here, Namor?” she asked. He noticed the annoyance in her voice.

“I came to welcome you home. It has been a while.” He was trying to be charming.

“What do you mean about it being a while?” She asked. “You were there out to sea watching whenever came to the beach.” He looked surprised. “Oh, you didn’t know my hearing and eyesight has been enhance with my Black Panther powers. So, again why are you here?”

“We are allies now. Are we not allowed to communicate with one another?” Shuri exhaled very hard. He is shrewd, so she knows he is testing things.

“Sure,” she replied. “What is it you want to communicate to me?” Namor could see though they are allies, in her heart there was no forgiveness for what he did. And he doubted there will ever be.

“Since our battle, we haven’t truly set down and discuss what this alliance means.” Shuri sighed.

“That part will have to be done, between King M'Baku and yourself. I’m done with the diplomacy part of this alliance. I will be sticking to being the protector of Wakanda.” For some reason this stung him like a jellyfish.

He knew she had not taken up the mantle as Queen; but relinquished that right to M'Baku. While she was gone neither M'Baku or him had reached out to one another. So, he knows little about the new King except for that brief encounter on the shore. He had some respect for M'Baku, for he took his full punch to the chest and lived.

“So does this mean you and I will no longer be talking?” He made a step or towards. She noticed and braced herself, you never know with this one.

“I’m not understanding.” She stared at him. “Unless it’s about negotiations, what do we have to say to each other?” This hit worst than the first statement.

“I guess nothing,” his eye darkens. She knew that look all too well; he was angry but was holding it together. “I will make contact with your King on coming together for a meeting.”

“I will let him know to look for that,” she told him.

“Very well, Princess,” he said. “Enjoy the rest of your evening.” He turned and dove into the water before she could reply. She watched the water calm after his presence faded away. She knew Namora and Attuma were nearby. They would never let him venture this far out alone.

She looked out to the horizon as the sunset over the mountains. It was getting late and she needed to get back before she was missed. M'Baku would sound the alarm and sent out a search party. She chuckled under her breath. They truly have forgotten she was no longer the innocence child they had to protect. She is now the Black Panther their protector. She rushed back to the palace with great speed; part of her abilities.

Namor popped his head up, along with Namora and Attuma. “Why are we still here, K'uk’ulKan?” Namora inquired. He never replied as his keen eyesight watched her speed through the jungle with great agility. She has gain great strength since they fought. Even to the point she may match his without the disabling she did to even out the odds. He sunk back into the water and swam away Namora and Attuma at his sides.

Chapter Three

Namor went straight to his room, after he arrived back in Talokan; with Namor and Attuma. The swim back was silent, and both could see their ruler was agitated by something or mostly someone. Attuma turned to Namora to say something, but she raised a hand then swam away. He followed her with one thought in mind, there was this weird connection between K’uk’ulkan and the Princess. He would get to the bottom of it if it was the last thing he did. He too swam away to join some friends.

Namor sat on his hammock staring at the picture he painted after the battle between the Black Panther and himself. His wing was healing better than he had hoped. “It could have been so different if your mother had just listen to me from the start.” He stood and gently caressed the image of the Black Panther with the tips of his fingers.

His mind drifted back to the time they spent together when she was down there. It was magical. And with just a little more time; he could have had her in his arms. How much he wanted to kiss her deeply until she surrendered to him. That is what he wanted, for her to come to him willingly. But it all change because of Ramonda. Why Queen? Why?

“I could not allow you to come in here and kill my one of my children without retribution.” He spoke loudly, pacing back and forth in front of the mural. “I understand you wanted your daughter back, but I just needed a little more time with her.” As much as he wanted to put the blame solely on Queen Ramonda, he too had to share in it.

Maybe if he had sent word to her that Shuri was safe and she had volunteered to come there. And that they were negotiating a deal that would benefit everyone. He didn’t but instead threaten to kill her daughter and her. He was the eldest of them all and, yet the most childish.

He sat down running his hand over his head, thoughts going to when he met the Queen on the beach. He remembered emerging from the waters and seeing how tantalizing she looked standing there so majestic in that low cut gown. She nearly took his breath away. And when he looked into her eyes, he saw a strong fearless courageous woman like no other he had met. Yeah, he put up a brave front; but she touched him in a way he hadn’t felt before. She was a Goddess to his God persona.He wasn’t quite sure how to handle what she stirred in him. And because of that he panicked and turned cold towards her.

The day he attacked Wakanda and went to the palace. There she stood at the window watching him coming, she was so beautiful and showed no fear. Then he saw that girl who started all of this; he thrust his spear into the window right at the Queen’s head, she never flinched; the window only cracked. He flew to stand on the ledge staring into her lovely eyes. He felt that current flow through his body as the time on the beach. Then he watched her pull the girl behind her in defiance, it angered him. He went and retrieved the water bombs throwing them and breaking the windows; flooding the throne room. Then he watched her rescue the girl from drowning; killing herself in the process. Now his rage was out of control as they revived the girl but not Ramonda. He said what he had to say and left. He couldn’t think about what he had done. The only woman who could have been his equal was dead; by his hand. His rage expanded; Wakanda would fall along with that girl.

Shuri proved to be her mother’s child. Ramonda would have been proud of her becoming the Black Panther and Wakanda’s protector. Not to mention creating an alliance between the two nations. Her love for her people and the care she had for the Talokaniles, caused this to come to pass. Namor sighed, as he stretched out on his bedding. If only Ramonda hadn’t died. Things would be different.

Shuri walked into her lab she had been absence for so long. She greeted her lab assistants, receiving updates. You everything seemed to be moving along progressively. She went to look through some files. Okye entered and smiled seeing Shuri back to work. She never noticed Okoye standing and watching her.

“My Princess,” she said as she walked over where she sat. “I figured this is where I would find you.”

“Were you looking for me?” Shuri never stopped what she was doing.

“I was,” she answered.

“Is there something you needed?” Shuri looked up to her.

“Yes, I did. The King is requesting you to have dinner with us.” Okoye said to her.

“We?” Shuri was puzzled. Only the royal family ate together, unless there was a banquet. “Are all of you throwing a big deal for my return?”

“Well you will have to come and see,” Okoye jest. “But to not come will be considered ill-manners.” After saying this she left the lab. Shuri sat for a few minutes digesting what Okoye had said. Yes, it would be bad manners not to attend. She shook her head. Relinquishing the throne to M'Baku has changed nothing. She is still treated as royalty, which means all the boring testified she will be required to attend. She let out a loud breath, and went back to reading the files before her. Then she will go check on how well the herb plants were thriving, before she went to the feast in her honor.

Chapter Four

With M'Baku now the ruler of all of Wakanda, he had to appoint a new chieftain in his stead. His younger brother N’Kuba was placed as the new leader of the Jabari tribe. They entered doing the signature cry and gorilla sounds. The tables were formed into a horseshoe style and decorated to represent each of the tribes. There was an extra place that no one knew who would be in that spot; maybe some outsider.

Most of the guest had arrive and seated. They conversed amongst themselves eating the appetizers. King M'Baku had not arrived, nor Princess Shuri. And noticeable the mystery guest. The King's guards stood along the wall with the Dora Milaje standing along the walls behind where the King will be seated.

The King made his entrance flanked by Ayo and Aneka, with Okoye absence. Everyone stood to their feet as he walked to the head of the table. Once there he motioned for all to be seated. He looked to his left where Shuri would be and next to her the mystery guest. Neither had arrived. Just at that moment Shuri with Okoye at her side enter the room. Everyone stood giving her a round of applause. They loved their Princess. She sat next to M'Baku, while everyone took their seats. No sooner had they settled in, the mystery guest arrived; Namor with Namora and Actual at each of his sides.

At first everyone grew silence, but then the hall was filled with murmurs. Namor ignored them; his eyes were set on Shuri. She looked over to M'Baku questioning. He waved his hand to calm the room. Namor took his place at Shuri’s side; his eyes never wondering from her. She never acknowledged him, her eyes now set straight ahead. She will show the grace of her upbringing, but it didn’t mean she had to like it.

M’Baku stood up and gave a speech on the return of the Princess. He spoke about how many years her family had served Wakanda with the blessing of their Goddess Bast. All had passed on to the Ancestral Plane with only Shuri remaining; and though not ruling but still royalty. Everyone chanted in agreement. M'Baku silenced them after giving them the time to appreciate her. Shuri held back the tears forming so thankful of the love she was getting.

“Now the best part of the event,” M'Baku said. “The food!” At that time, trays of food were brought in and set at various points of the table accordingly, to the diet of the tribes, even Namor.

At some point Namor tried to start a conversation with Shuri, but she only replied out of courtesy. He soon gave up and said nothing else. After the meal had progressed on and most had finished. Namor took it upon himself to make a speech in honor of Shuri. He stood to his feet as everyone grew quiet group by group seeing him on his feet. M'Baku said nothing but watched in curiosity on how this would play out. Shuri shifted in her chair not sure how long she could tolerate him.

“I needed to say something to honor this beautiful generous woman, the Princess Shuri.” He looked at her but she did not reciprocate. “It’s because of the love for all of you and the tender care of my people we have this alliance. I wanted to make this clear to everyone here tonight. And not because of any forgiveness she holds for me.” He stood in silence for a few moments as if he would say more. He gazed over to Shuri. “Welcome home Princess.” Then spoke in his language to Namora and Attuma, they left the banquet. All eyes following him as he disappeared beyond the doors. M'Baku looked at Shuri, then at all there.

“I guess it’s time to take this celebration to the people,” He said then rose from his chair marking the end of dinner and on to festivity. They all begin to pour out the hall. M'Baku touched Shuri’s arm. “We need to talk.” He walked out a door leading towards the garden where the herbs grew she had planted. She had saw before dinner how well they had flourished. Okoye, Ayo and Aneka accompanied them.

“Before we go any further,” he stopped and turned to her. At that moment the Shaman came running up.

“She's gone!” She was frantic.

“No, you can’t mean--,” Okoye shouted then ran towards the direction the Shaman had come. M'Baku and others followed in suit. Shuri was confused but followed after them. She came to an room she knew nothing about since she never had any interest to venture where the Shamans lived. Inside was a empty bed. It looked to be a make shift medical room.

“How could this have happened?” Okoye was beside herself.

“Calm down Okoye, while we get to the bottom of this.” M'Baku examined the room.

“I left to get some nourishments. You all saw how for months no response just laying there,” the Shaman told them.

“No sign of regaining consciousness?“ Ayo asked. Aneka stood at Shuri’s side.

“None General, just as you saw earlier.” The Shaman informed her.

“This is going to blow the rooftop off,” M'Baku said. “But we will need to send out a search party. But those who can be trusted and discreet.”

“Is anyone going to tell me what’s going on and why secrecy?” Shuri entered the room. Something was not right as she picked up on a familiar scent. “No, it can’t be. You all wouldn’t anything so important from me, would you?” It was no doubt to who the scent belongs, but that was impossible. They were dead!

Namor, Namora and Attuma came to the water’s edge they had come up. Namor beckoned for them to go ahead, he needed some solitude. He had to quiet them on the walk from the banquet. They were furious with how he was treated and wanted to end this treaty. He had heard enough and needed this time to himself. Sat and gazed up at the stars in the sky. The insects making their noise and the animals scurrying about. He paused. Someone was coming. He jumped to his feet staring as they came through the tall grass and into plain sight. They looked at him never saying a word. His eyes enlarged as he recognized them. But no, his eyes were deceiving him.

“Ramonda!” He exclaimed.

Chapter Five

Shuri slowly walked over to the bed that their patient once slept. She hesitated, not sure she wanted to know the truth. Knowing would cause a riff between these people she had put her total trust. But to know they did the very same as Namor; took her mother from her. She snatched the bedding up, placed it to her nose allowing the scent stream into her nostrils. Her body stiffen as it touched every fiber of her being. Tears welled in her eyes and overflowed down her cheeks. She ran from the with great swiftness; none of them tried to go after her. Two reasons, she was the Black Panther they and they would never be able to keep up the pace. And the other, allow her some space to digest it all. M'Baku turned to the Shaman.

“Tell me old witch,” he walked up to her. “How did you not see the difference in a deep sleep and coma. You were with her more than any of us. So explain to me now.” M'Baku was physically shaking. Okye was standing at the door, tear streaming down her face. This was worst than when the Queen stripped her of her rank; much worst.

“My King I do not know,” she said.

“She lies,” Ayo said. The woman looked in shock at her remarks.

“No, my King,” she protested. M'Baku glared at her, he was no fool. The sound in her voice let him know Ayo was right. Aneka was checking the room for clues; she found it. A compartment in the wall unnoticeable with first glance, but a trained I would catch it immediately if searching. She opened it and inside was a jar and in it a green substance.

“What is this?” Aneka held it up. The Shaman panicked and unwisely ran to grab it from Aneka.

“Give me that,” reaching out. Aneka side stepped causing the woman to stumble and fall to the ground.

“Bring it to me,” M'Baku ordered. Aneka handed to him. He studied it carefully. “Did you make this?” He asked.

“Yes, but it’s not what you think, My King.” She got up.

“Then enlighten me.” He told. “Tell me what you think I’m thinking.” She looked around the room, all eyes on her.

“After I discovered the Queen wasn’t dead after all, but in a coma; I reached out to you first My King.” He nodded to confirm this was true. “You came with the three Doras, and all of you decided to keep this quiet. Which I did agreed. But so many months passed without change, and I wanted her back. Just as I knew you all wanted the same; to have our Queen back and giving that child back her only living family. Her Mother.” She paused as she began to cry. All of them became emotional, connecting to all she said.

“What did you put in this?” M'Baku asked. She looked to the ground.

“The herb.” She told them. Okoye and Ayo gasped. M’Baku eye narrowed, but Aneka nodded her head.

“Ramonda?” Namor slowly approached her, not wanting to scare her. But she just stood there looking around as if confused. Then for the first time she saw him.

“You called me that name twice. Is that my name?” Namor paused. She has no memory of herself, or him. He looked about and opened his ears, surly they are missing her and sending searchers.

“You don’t remember?” He asked.

“No, I woke up somewhere, but no one was there. So I walked until I came here. There’s a cabin nearby that I do remember. Maybe my home?” She said to him, still disoriented. V

“Would you like for me to take you there?” He asked.

“I don’t want to be a bother,” She told him.

“You could never be a bother.” He stared at her studying her face. That beautiful face implanted in his mind from the last time he saw her. She was much thinner than before, and so fair from that regal woman, but one of innocence.

“Alright, let’s go,” she started off.

“Mother!!” A voice called out. Shuri emerged from the tall grass. “Mama?” She was nearly in tears as she slowly approached not believing her eyes. Namor came up to her to warn her.

“Princess,” He stood in her way. She glared at him.

“Get out of my way!” Her voice was low but menacing.

“You don’t understand,” he said, grabbing her by the shoulders. She took this as an aggression and shoved him away from her. He wasn’t weak as before, but she was stronger than before. He flew to the ground.

“Oh my,” Ramonda screamed. Shuri looked over to her and started towards her. But Ramonda moves backwards, fearing she was next to be attacked by this person. Shuri stopped, confused.

“This is what I was trying to tell you,” Namor had come to his feet and walking towards Ramonda to calm her. “She doesn’t remember anything.” Shuri watched as the one who took her mother from her: was now comforting her because of the fear she had towards her.

“Mama!” Shuri fell to the ground in tears. “Mother!” She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, she looked up into her mother’s face.

“You are calling me Mama, am I your mother?” Ramonda asked. Shuri nodded, still crying. “I’m sorry but my memory is absent. Maybe you can help me?”

“I would like that.” Shuri rose to her feet.

“And you?” Ramonda looked to Namor. He smiled.

“No, Mom,” Shuri said. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.” Ramonda looked at her then to Namor.

“I don’t understand,” she said. Namor looked at Shuri as he walked away, beckoning for her to follow him.

“What is it Namor?” She asked. “I don’t have time for you. Just go!”

“Whatever is between us is just that,” he kept his voice low. “I am the first person she has interacted with since she got away from all of you.” He threw in a little shade.

“For your information I was just as in the dark as you.” Namor raised an eyebrow. Shuri shook her head. “Like I said, no time for your mess.”

“Come Mother I will take you back.”

“No, not to that room. I was going to my hut I think it’s near here.

“You remember the place you brought me during the summer?”

“I guess. Is it nearby?

“Yes, just through the trees.” Shuri led the way, but Namor held back. Ramonda noticed and turn to him.

“You’re not coming?” Shuri shot him a warning.

“No, I must go now.”

“Will you come back?

“If you wish.”

“Yes, I would.”

“Then your wish is my command,” he said then dove off into the water. Ramonda stared after him, then turned to Shuri.

“Wait, does he live in the water?” Shuri didn’t answer and continued through the trees to the hut beyond.

“We need to have this analyze.” M'Baku said.

“I think we will need Shuri to do this.” Okoye told him. “We’ve kept enough from her, and she’s the smartest we have. There may be things in there she can detect. We owe her that much.”

“I agree with Okoye. We must end this now.” Ayo added. M'Baku didn’t hesitate, he knew they both were right.

“I just hope we haven’t an irreparable situation between her and us.” He left the room.

“I need you to show me exactly what you put in this liquid and the process you went through.” Aneka demanded.

“Yes,” The old woman said.

“No Aneka, go with Ayo,” Okoye commanded. “I will stay and get to the bottom of it.”

“I will pick the best of the King’s guardsmen to help Aneka and I with the search. They saluted Okye and went out the room, leaving only Okoye to deal with the Shaman.

“Sit Shaman, I know you are weary.” Okoye sat on the edge of the bed. The Shaman sat in the chair did when Ramonda was there.

“I know what you did came from a good place in your heart,” Okoye begins. “But going rogue you caused a greater problem than we anticipated. Now this is out of control, not to mention Shuri is further angrier than she would have been if we had the chance to tell her ourselves.”

“I know General, but I know this plant had a healing power and far more potent our previous plant,” she informed Okoye.

“What do you mean?” She asked the Shaman.

“Our people either deal with the mystics or science. I deb in both,” She said. “For each has properties that can mesh with each other. When Princess Shuri created this plant from the bracelet the Talokanil gave her and mixed with what little of our purple plant from King T’Challa's DNA, she created something from both worlds, and far more powerful together than apart.”

“What are you saying?” Okoye was intrigue.

“The Princess didn’t stick around to study her creation and see how well it manifested, but I did,” She looked at Okoye, glad she had her attention.

“What did you learn pass how potent the two are together?” Okoye asked.

“With our herb in the challenge rituals the Black Panther was given the potion to remove his abilities.” She told her. “That potion and the purple herbs went hand in hand. After we lost the original plant due to the ordered destruction of the plants by Killmonger. The potion to strip the Black Panther powers are lost.”

“What are you saying?” Okoye asked, but knew the answer.

“The Princess and any other candidate to become the Black Panther, once they drink of it; will go to their grave with the power.” The Shaman informed Okoye.

Okoye rose to her feet. That damn Killmonger. Why did he had to burn their sacred plant? Maybe their Princess Shuri wouldn’t had to try and create another plant to save our King. Now that she was successful to do it after her mother’s supposedly death to defeat Namor. Now with that they don’t have anything to strip her of her powers when the time comes.

“Wait!” Okoye realized something. “How much did you give to the Queen and how long?” Okoye asked.

“A little at a time starting three months ago, and the last earlier today.” She told her.

“So she could gain the Black Panther powers too?” Okoye stated rather than asked.

“Oh no, the Queen is not a descent,” she began. “Only the bloodline of Banshenga may take of the plant and be blessed by Bast.” The Shaman explained.

“So we aren’t sure how it will affect her, are we?” Okoye said this and walked out the room. The Shaman thought about what Okoye had just said. No, they didn’t.

Chapter Six

Shuri watched as her mother moved about the hut with ease. She apparently had memories of the place, but none of anything else. She thought it might be better for her mother to stay here for now instead of the Palace. She will inform everyone in the morning, and for now let worry. That’s the least they deserved for keeping such a huge secret from her. Yes, she’s furious with them, but she knows it was out of love. The Queen came to where she sat quietly and took a seat near her

“So you are my daughter?” She asked, gazing upon her.

“Yes,” Shuri answered. Ramonda leaned back getting comfortable. She was feeling a little fatigued. It had been quite some time since she had been outside the room she was in.

“Do I have any other?”

“One, a son.” Shuri told her. “T’Challa!” Ramonda heard that name and a melancholy washed over her.

“Where is he?” She asked. Shuri lowered her head.

“He passed away almost two years ago.” Tears glisten in her eyes. “Will you be alright here, I need to go for a run.” Shuri was hearing the call of the wild.

“No go. I will be find,” She assured Shuri.

“I will return after my run.” She told her.

“You do not have to stay,” Ramonda told her.

“I know,” Shuri said went out the door. Ramonda decided to take a walk on the beach. The sand felt so nice between her toes. It was a warm night air was fresh. She could hear elephants or n the distance and various animal. The water behind her made a gentle splash. She turned to see him, Namor coming towards her. She smiled to see him come back so soon.

“Well, hello there,” started towards him. The distance between them vanished. He was happy to witness this response to his presence from her.

“I never left,” he told her.

“Oh?” She wondered why he stuck around.

“I just wanted to make sure you were safe out here alone.” He explained.

“I’m not alone,” she told him. “The one who says she is my daughter, is staying with me.”

“I think that is a perfect idea. She will most definitely protect you.” He informed her.

“If you say so.” She stared out into the waters, deep in thought.

“Are you alright?”

“Everything is blank in my mind, like it’s been wiped clean,” she told him. “And on the other hand, it’s like things want to burst free.”

“You said you woke in some room,” he begin to inquire to how this all came to be.

“Yes, I did. I have no idea where I was, how I got there, or why I was there.” Namor had his thoughts, but couldn’t share them with her.

“You must be tired and need to get some rest,” he suggested. “I will leave you for now.” He could hear Shuri returning, she was alone. He noticed her speed almost matched his own. And realized earlier the strength in her push; much stronger than their battle.

“Do you have to go?” She asked. “I’m not tired at all.”

“I must, but I will come back.” He promised her then leaped into the water and swam quickly so Shuri wouldn’t know he had been there. Ramonda stared after him even when he was no longer visible. She could hear Shuri calling her from the hut. She was making her way to her, when Shuri burst through the trees.

“There you are,” Shuri said. Ramonda stared at her sensing the panic in her voice.

“What’s wrong child?” She asked.

“Nothing,” she lied. Ramonda’s maternal instincts kicked in. Something is not as it should be. Shuri is terrified of something and she plans to find out everything.

“Alright. But why don’t you take a nice hot bath to relax before you go to bed?” Ramonda suggested. And I will warm us up some coconut milk.” Shuri’s eyes widened.

“You remembered.” Shuri said to her.

“Remembered?” Ramonda confused.

“That’s what you would make us after a long day of festivities whenever we came here.” Shuri informed Ramonda.

“Oh, I see,” Ramonda wondered if she was getting her memories or if this place stayed in her mind because it was special to her. “I’m not sure if I remember or not. It just seems apart of me left over.”

“Okay, A nice hot bath and warm coconut milk does sound enticing.” Shuri said.

“Good.” Ramonda walked towards their hut, but Shuri hung back glaring out into the water. His scent still lingered. What is he up to? She turned away and followed her mother. In the distance Namor lifted out the water, hearing their conversation. He flew away pondering seeing Ramonda again. He knew it will be difficult with Shuri around. He smiled; he was up for the challenge.

Ayo thought she got a glimpse of Shuri running towards the beach. “I think I saw Shuri, let’s check it out,” she told Aneka and instructed the King’s guardsmen to search in the opposite direction. As they made their way through the tall brush, Ayo knew this place. “This where the Queen would bring Shuri during the summer.”

“Maybe Shuri found the Queen and brought her here,” Aneka said as they pressed forward.

“Maybe so, but we still must check,” Ayo told her. The hut came into view, once they had cleared the tall grass. Before they had made another step, Shuri appeared in the doorway. The two stared at her awaiting an invite to come closer. But Shuri came to them instead, passing them by gesturing with her head to follow her. They came to the beach, away from the hut and ear shot of Ramonda.

“I found her here,” Shuri told them staring out to sea. “She does not remember anything but this place.”

“What?” Aneka exclaimed. Shuri turned her head to look at her.

“She doesn’t know me,” the tears forming. They were the two she could release the anguish of this discovering without their prejudice. Aneka walked up to her and took her in her arms; allowing her to breakdown. Ayo looked in the direction of the hut. What had they done?

Namor arrived in Talokan; he needed to be amongst his people. They always gave him clarity. Each would give him the Talokanil salute, he would reciprocate. They gave him so much join, they were his children. The one reason he never took one as a wife or had children. He had seen enough of them born and later in life die. Some never made it to live a full life, but regardless he had to witness it time after time.

After a lengthy stay in the city; he left to go to his quarters for some solitude. He had to figure some things out. With the resurrection of Ramonda changes a lot of things. His guilt that he had killed her, and now Shuri’s anger at him is misplaced. He needed answers on how all of this came about? Shuri told him she was in the dark as much as he was. So, Ramonda had been alive all this time and they didn’t tell Shuri?

“I’m sure Shuri is very agitated with all who had a hand in this deception.” Namor laughed to himself, forever calculating the situation.

Ayo and Aneka left Shuri on the beach assured Ramonda and herself will fine where they were. Shuri wasn’t ready for the world to know about her mother yet. Ayo had guards placed around the perimeter of the hut, at some distance. She wanted them to have their privacy and not to alarm Ramonda. They went back to their quarters, deciding to speak with M'Baku and Okoye in the morning.

Chapter Seven

M'Baku rose early and prepared for the day. He hadn’t heard from anyone on the situation with a missing Ramonda. He entered the throne room to see the three Dora Milaje standing about. He could see from the expression on their faces they had some news. Whether he would like it or not, is another matter. He gestured for his guardsmen to leave the room, and took his seat on the throne.

“Come ladies, do not waste mind time,” he said. “I have endless things to attend.” Okoye sighed and sat at his left. Ayo sat at his right, while Aneka took a seat at her left. “What news do you have for me concerning our Queen Mother?” He looked over at Ayo and Aneka, since they were the two who went in search of her.

“We found the Queen,” Ayo informed him.

“But not before Shuri,” Aneka added. “She was with Queen Mother.”

“It seems when the Queen woke, she went straight to the beach hut she took Shuri during the summer.”

“She remembered that place?” M'Baku asked.

“Yes,” Aneka answered.

“So does she remember anything else?” He looked at the two.

“Shuri said no,” Aneka told him.

“She does not even know Shuri as her daughter.” Ayo informed him.

“Damn, another blow to this young woman,” he rose to his feet and paced before the throne. “How much more can she take?”

“Shuri is strong,” Okoye said. “And having her mother in whatever capacity, is a great comfort.”

“When you say it like that, yeah.” He said. “So, are they protected?”

“Yes,” Ayo answered. “I left a couple of guards to patrol the vicinity but to stay out of sight.”

“Good I feel a lot better knowing their no out there alone” He reclaim his seat. “I know we have a treaty in place and not so worry about the ‘fishman’ and his people. But there are other factors to consider.” Okoye shifted in her seat with this statement, then looked at Ayo and Aneka.

“My King,” Okoye addressed him.

“Yes General,” he looked at her.

“Shuri said when she found her mother,” she started.

“Yes,” He knew whatever she was about to disclose, he was not going to like it.

“Namor was with the Queen, and she has no idea how long he had been with her.” Okoye informed him.

“So, he knows the Queen is alive,” he stated more than a question. “And that she has no memory of anything.”

“He warned Shuri of it when she came upon them together.” Ayo informed. “I think he didn’t want Shuri hurt when the Queen Mother rejected her advance.”

“Great!” He slightly growled. “So now he feels he’s exonerated of her death and doesn’t have to her wrath.” The women looked one to another.

“Something like that,” Aneka says. “Or he’s genuinely care for Shuri.” This time M'Baku did growl. It was not something he wanted to entertain.

“Did we ever find out what concoction the Shaman made up and gave her?” He looked to Okoye since she was the last to speak with her.

“The herb Shuri created.” Okoye told him.

“But I thought only the descendants could take of the herb and live,” M'Baku said. “The Queen is not of their bloodline, how is she still alive?”

“That we are not sure. Maybe Shuri’s brilliant mind could figure it out.”

“What is it my brilliant mind can figure out?” Shuri entered the throne room.

“Princess, surprise to see you here so early.” M'Baku saying with a little sarcasm.

“It has something to do with your mother,” Okoye approached her.

“What is it about my mother?” She panicked. “Is this revival temporary? Am I going to lose her again?” Shuri’s whole body began to tremble all over. Okoye took her into her arms. Ayo and Aneka came to them, wrapping their arms around the two. M'Baku watched with great pride. He loved the women of Wakanda, they embraced one another and had each others back.

“We are not sure of anything,” Okoye spoke calmly to her. “We were hoping you could help solve it.” Shuri pulled away enough to look Okoye in the eyes.

“Tell me everything,” She instructed.

Namor had woke from a troubling dream. ‘He emerged from the water, summoned by Queen Ramonda. His eyes were fixed upon her as she stood there like a Goddess, adorned with the elegant gown, with just enough cleavage respectfully. He did admire it, but briefly glancing; but it was enough to remember. He stared into her beautiful seductive eyes; yeah, he knew she came to play hardball with him. She was toying with him, making him think he had the upper hand when she had already made her move. As much as he admired her and knew she was more than his equal, she was a dangerous opponent. So, he killed her!’ He sat up staring at the mural of the battle between Shuri, the new Black Panther and himself. In reality things had changed; Queen Ramonda is alive and he owe her. Yes, he lost a child; but it was just as much his fault as the Queen's.

Things could and should have been done much better. His arrogance always got the best of him. Since the association with Wakanda, mainly Ramonda and Shuri, that has played in the fore front of his mind. He has to do better, for this alliance to work. They need Wakanda and Wakanda needs Talokan. Together they are stronger. He informed Attuma and Namora he would gone for awhile, but didn’treveal he was going to check on Ramonda.

Ramonda had woke from a deep sleep feeling refreshed, and her mind much clearer. She heard Shuri go out to meet someone the night before. She peered out her bedroom window and saw two women. After awhile they were holding her; apparently Shuri was upset. Of course, she would be her mother does not remember her. And as much as she has tried; she’s not able to connect to Shuri like she was a daughter. Hopefully the time they spend there in the summer hut, that will change.

Ramonda poured herself a cup of tea and felt something coming from the sea. She went to see, and her heard the water moving about as if someone moved within it. As she approached the shore, she could hear footsteps coming. It was him, the one called Namor. She went to meet him. A smile etched across his face when she appeared through the trees.

“Good morning,” she greeted him cheerfully. “Or should I say afternoon.” He was pleased to have her so friendly towards him.

“Hello Ramonda,” he replied. He stepped up to her. She was as beautifl as she was the day on the beach; something different reflected in those eyes. Not that shrewd Queen, but more like the innocence he saw in Shuri’s. It was like they traded places. Now Shuri had become her mother and her mother her.

“Would like to come?” She asked. “I was about to drink some tea? Do you drink tea? Or coffee?” I’m not sure what sea people drink. Or do you live in the ocean?” Namor laughed. Never in a thousand years would he had thought he would witness a nervous Queen Ramonda.

“I can drink any of those, but I’m alright for now.” He told her. “And yes, I live in the ocean deep.” She came to sit next to him curious.

“Wow!” She said. “So you can breath underwater?”

“Only for a length of time. I do have these to help for unlimited hours under there.” He pointed to the two air pieces in his nose, she was more intrigued. At this moment, she reminded him of Shuri and how she was anxious to learn more about him and his kingdom.

“That is fascinating. Are you alone there or do you have a family?” She asked.

“Actually, I have a huge family,” he said to her. “I am the ruler of an underwater world called Talokan.”

“Ruler? Like a king?” She asked.

“Exactly like a king,” he told her. “But they look at me as a God. They call me K'uk’ulkan.”

“K'uk'ulkan,” she repeated in the best way possible. “What language is that? What does it mean?”

“We speak Ancient Mayan as we are descended from them. It means Feathered Serpent God.”

“God? So why does Shuri call you Namor?” She asked. He took a deep breath as his mind drifted back to the first time he meant both her and Shuri. He had explained then who his enemies called him. “Because it means ‘child without love'; only my enemies call me by that name.”

“Oh,” she said.

“But you can call me Namor,” he told her. “It’s easier than the other, and I know you are not an enemy.”

“Is Shuri and the others?” she stared him in the eyes.

“It’s complicated, due to a misunderstanding,” he explained without revealing much.

She stood to her feet and walked over to pour her some more tea, as she thought on that. Namor watched her every move, she was like a child very inquisitive. She turned to him. “Can you take me to meet your people and see this kingdom of yours?” He was surprised. She just threw him a curve ball. Yes, very much like Shuri, their rows had changed.

“I don’t know if that is a good idea.” He told her, thinking of the fury Shuri would display.

“Why? Because of what is going on between Shuri and you?” She asked.

“Yes, and I wish I could tell you,” he lied. He hopes to never have to tell her. “I will leave it up to Shuri.” Ramonda sighed.

“Sure, I will ask her when she comes back,” she said. She sat back down next to him. “I hope you two will be able to come to a resolution. I can’t have my two favorite people disliking each other.” She laughed and took a sip from her tea.

Namor stared at her for a long time as she seem to drift off into thought. Sorry Ramonda, that will never happen. Shuri will have a perpetual hate towards him, for what he did. And he held no animosity towards her for that. She didn’t kill him and for that he is indebted to her.

“Someone is coming,” she said. “I think two of your people.” She jumped up and rushed to meet them. Namor watched her in astonishment. How could she hear them? They were trained to move without sound. He followed her, and saw she was standing with both Namora and Attuma. They were in shock; the last they knew she was dead.

“What is going on?” Namor asked.

“You are needed in the city,” Namora spoke in there native tongue.

“You have to leave?” Ramonda turned to him. He looked at her.

“I’m afraid so, but I will come back.” He promised her. Namora and Attuma shot each other a look. “Come.” He leaped into the water, the two right behind him. It was Namora who asked first.

“What was that?” She inquired.

“Wait until we reached Talokan, then I will tell you.” He sped up, moving far away from Ramonda; physically. There was this inexplicable ache he felt when he left just now. He had developed some weird feelings for her the moment he stepped on the beach, and saw her standing waiting for his arrival. But one thing was real, she had none for him.

The Queen was there for only one thing, Shuri. If he had told the Queen he wanted her hand in marriage for the safe return of her daughter when she asked what could she offered; he had no doubt the Queen would have accepted without hesitation. The difference between the two, Shuri cared for his people and the kingdom. She would have given her all to make it work, with her love and respect. The Queen on the other hand, would have kept her word; being the dutiful wife and Queen to his people. But her heart would have never belonged to him. That was one reason he didn’t ask that of her, he rather someone be with him willingly. Either way would have achieved the same outcome; the alliance between Wakanda and Talokan.

He went into deeper thought as they grew closer to Talokan and the crisis that he was called to divert. Maybe this was his second chance to make it up to her. Knowing he didn’t kill her was a great relief. His only concern was, what is the price to be paid for her revival?

Ramonda stood on the beach, feeling the three cut through the waters towards there home. Only when they reached the horizon is when she lost them. But on land she could feel the two off in some distance watching her. She was not alarm, probably Shuri’s doing while she was away.

That was not her concern at the moment. This morning when she woke, she felt differently than the day before. She felt more alive and at one with nature. Everything seemed to called out to her, and strangely enough, she understood them. Was this something new? She didn’t know since she can’t remember anything. What is everyone keeping from her? She needs them to tell her what happened to her and how did she lose her memory. Secrets and lies, she thought. This will not end well when all is discovered.

Chapter Eight

After the crisis had been dealt with, Namor went to his room; followed by Namora and Attuma. He walked over to the mural he painted, depicting the battle with Shuri; the Black Panther. She only became the Protector because he and his people attacked Wakanda and killed their Queen. So, he thought.

“K’uk’ulkan,” Namora broke the silence. “We thought their Queen was dead?” At first, he said nothing, but walked over to a table and pored himself a drink.

“It appears that was not true,” he replied and gulped down the drink, then poured himself another. He walked back to the painting staring hard at it. “Not even the Princess knew of the deception.”

“What?” Attuma joined in. “They did not tell her, her mother lives?”

“No, they did not,” he finish the drink and walked over to place the cup on the table.

“How cruel these surface dwellers are to each other.” Namora scoff. Namor looked at her smiling.

“What we consider cruel, they consider it kindness.” He explained.

“How?” Attuma asked, completely confused.

“My children I have been reminiscent in teaching you about other sides of love.” He said to them. “There is a time when you choose to protect someone from a greater pain, even if you have to lie.”

“Lie, K'uk'ulkan? You would not lie to us,” Namora exclaimed, they stared at him. He was quiet formulating an answer they could understand, and more so accept.

“I understand what they did,” he told them. “It’s not black or white situation, but in the gray. They discovered the Queen was still alive, but in a very deep sleep like death. They had no ideas if she would survive. So, to spare the Princess another heart ache with losing her mother again; they made the decision to not let her know until whether her mother made a full recovering.”

“I think I’m understanding the logic,” Attuma spoke. “Keeping the secret had twofold. If the Queen survive they could present her to the Princess without her feeling betrayed. But if she died again, the Princess would not have to face that lost a second time. Yes, I get it.”

“I do not. Betrayal is just that and nothing else. They lied to her, causing her to become the Black Panther, and nearly killing you K'uk'ulkan. I can not forgive that and I hope she does not either.” Namora said this and dove into the water. Attuma looked at Namor, then jumped in the water after her.

Namor stood peering into the water for sometime. His thoughts on Namora’s outburst. His cousin has always been a loose cannon, thus the reason he keeps her close. He never knows when she will feel the need to turn on him.

His mind recalled something that had been there through everything the last few hours, and nagged him. Something that was causing him to be alarm. Ramonda’s heighten abilities she is displaying. He has no idea what they had done to her these months, but this needs to be address.

Shuri went to her lab to test the new heart-shaped plant she created and the solution the Shaman made. The Shaman used various concoctions she had in her possession. All had no doubt come from plants laced in vibranium, which flowed throughout Wakanda. That may be another scientific task for her; researching the effects of vibranium on the Wakandans. After all it’s what made the Talokaniles super poweful. She wasn’t sure the vibranium was the cause of Namor’s slow aging or the fact he is a mutant.

What was puzzling was her mother had been given the potion for months. And instead of killing her it revitalized her. Only the bloodline of the first Black Panther could ingest the plant, a blessing from Bast. Even with T’Challa's DNA mixed in the creation of the hybrid plant, Ramonda would have died. Since T'Challa and her do not share the same blood, as she is not his biological mother. It’s a mystery, she is unable to figure out yet. She will have to keep an eye on her mother, who knows what side effects they’re looking at.

Namor laid in his bed, trying to resist going to see Ramonda. But he’s still concern with whatever they did to bring her back may have dire consequences. Shuri needs to know. Enough people have kept important things from her, he will not be one of them. He’s already hurt her, he won’t do it again. He summoned Namora and Attuma.

“I need to go to Wakanda; there is something Shuri has to know.” He informed them. “I need one of you to stay and the other to accompanied me.”

“I will stay,” She said.

“Then I will go with you,” Attuma told him.

“Good, thank you both,” he said. “Namora is right partially; there are some things that should not be withheld. Especially if it’s life altering or could lead to something that could prove to be catastrophic. “

“K’uk’ulkan, is there something you know that could put us all in danger?” Namora was feeling uneasy with the tone in his voice of urgency.

“I’m not sure, Namora.” He said. “I trust with the information Shuri will find out.” Namor jumped in the water with Attuma at his side. Namora watched them vanish from her sight. She lingered in Namor’s room, looking at the mural. She was rooting for Shuri to curtail what had Namor concerned.

Chapter Nine

Okoye came with two more guardsmen to relieve the ones there. She went on towards the hut, hoping to speak with the Queen. She stood between the ocean, and the trees that concealed the hut. She paced back and forth trying to muster up the courage to go see Ramonda. She can only imaged how Shuri felt when she discovered her mother didn’t know her. Now she’s facing a similar ordeal, but not nearly as what Shuri encountered.

“Warrior!” A familiar voice called to her. She turned to see Namor and Attuma emerging from the water. Though Attuma spoke in his native tongue, she had learned it quickly.

“Attuma!” She said. “Namor, what bring you two here?”

“Hello General,” he replied. “I need to speak with the Princess, it’s urgent.”

“She is not here,” she told him. “Maybe I can relay the message and she can meet you later.” It didn’t matter with Okye that there was a treaty in place. All she knew was Talokan attacked Wakanda and many of their citizens lost their lives and others were disrupted to the point they had to leave their homes and flee to the mountains under the care of the Jabari tribe. And many more were lost in the sea battle. So being hospitable was not her first priority.

“No, General, this is something I need to deliver myself.” He told her. They stared each other, neither relinquishing. Attuma shook his head, admiring her.

“Namor,” Ramonda called to him. Okoye's head snapped around to look upon the woman who was more than a Queen to her, but Mother.

“Ramonda,” He addressed her. “How was your day?” She passed by Okoye and went up to Namor.

“I went for a walk down the beach,” she told. “So much to cope with since yesterday.

Tears begin to filled Okoye's eyes, seeing the Queen conversing so casually with the man who put her in this state, but ignored her presence. Attuma saw her anguish and came to her side. She looked up at him first alarmed, but then she saw kindness there; no, something else she wasn’t quite sure.

“Remember Warrior, she’s not herself,” he whispered into her ear. “What you two had between you will be regained once again.” Okoye stared in his eyes seeing him for the first time. He was truly a good guy.

“Thank you Attuma,” she said with sincerely. He nodded.

“Did I know you before my memory loss?” Ramonda had notice her speaking with Attuma. “Oh are you a soldier?” Okoye smiled and walked over to her.

“I am Dora Milaje, an elite group of women sworn to guard the King or Queen.” She explained. “And yes, we were very close.” Ramonda listened to all she said, but she felt no connection.

“Thank you for filling me in,” she told her. “Did Shuri send you here to watch over me?”

“No, I’m here for a different reason,” she said. “Also to see you.” Ramonda smiled. She liked this one, she’s very straight forward.

“Would you like to join me in some tea?” She asked Okoye. “I would like to get to know you better, if we were as close as you say.” Ramonda started towards the hut, and Okoye followed. That’s when she noticed Namor had vanished.

“Did he go to find Shuri?” Okoye addressed Attuma.

“Yes, Warrior.” Attuma replied. Okoye growled. She went to go after him, but Attuma gently grabbed her by the arm, turning her facing him. “No, Okoye. Let him do what he must. Please trust me.” He gazed in her eyes, she turned her eyes away from him. He was stirring feelings in her, she thought were long gone.

“Sure, after all Shuri is more than capable to fend for herself.” She had forgotten, this Shuri was not one who had to be protected. She was now their “Protector”, the Black Panther.

“Thank you,” he said.

“For what?” She asked.

“Trusting me,” he told her. They stared at each other with the calming sound of the water. Ramonda watched them for a few moments, then left them to figure out what was developing between them.

Shuri was becoming frustrated with trying to figure out why the potion didn’t kill her mother. What was so different in her than others? She tested the various ingredients, without results. Maybe what they were trying to find scientifically, isn’t the answer. What if, the goddess Bast did hear the Shaman’s chants to heal her mother? A desperate plea from the heart, that didn’t believe in the spiritual realm.

“Princess!” That familiar annoying voice interrupted her train of thought. She swirled around.

“What do you want Namor, that you would bother me here in my lab?” She was harsh with her words.

“There is something you need to know, or I would never come here to your place of work.” He informed her.

“What is it?” She asked turning a page of a file.

“It’s about your mother,” he said. Her eyes shot up to him, alarmed at him mentioning her.

“What about my mother?” she asked. “What have you done to her?”

“It is nothing I have done,” he told her. “But they who knew she was alive, but fail to inform you. Whatever they did to her, has cause major side effects.”

“What? Side effects?” She asked as she walked towards him, fear in her heart. “Namor, what kind?”

“One thing I noticed earlier, she sensed or heard both Namora and Attuma come out of the sea. And I’m pretty sure she also heard me when I came.”

“Is that all?” She laughed and walked back to her desk. “I can hear you come out the water.”

“You are the Black Panther,” he reminded her. “Your mother is not!”

“So what is going on with the big fella and you?” Ramonda carried the tray of tea cups and pot.

“Nothing,” Okoye blushed. She would like to know herself. Not too long ago they were trying to kill each other.

“You two remind me of Shuri and Namor, a lot of bent up emotions.” She told her. Wait! Shuri and Namor. She never saw that.

“Shuri and Namor?” Okoye press. “Or you sure?”

“Yes,” Ramonda was sure. “Why else would they go at it when they are in each other presence?” Okoye could think of a few things. Him being the one who caused her death.

“They may have tension between them but I don’t think it has to do with attraction.” Okoye said.

“Oh?” Ramonda exclaimed. “Then what could it be beyond attraction? I don’t know, a love hate situation or maybe I am reading this wrong. Where is Shuri anyways?”

“It must be the plant she was given,” Shuri went to open the file on her mother.

“Tell me you did not give her what you took to become the Black Panther,” he said.

“I gave her nothing,” she told him. “But she was given a plant laced with vibranium, and other herbs.”

“Wow!” He said loudly. “Do you not understand the dangers of vibranium being ingested?”

“I appreciate you coming to warn me of what is going on with my mom,” she stared up at him from the file. He smiled.

“No need to dismiss me like a child,” he said politely. “I can take a hint; I will not bother you again.” Before she could reply he had made a speedy exit.

‘It could have been different.’ Replayed in her mind daily. Yes, it could have if he hadn’t attacked Wakanda, killing numerous citizens. But the greatest of his sins was killing her mother. There’s no coming back from that deed. And even if she isn’t dead, she’s still being effected by it. Now she will have to figure out what is this new development.

Chapter Ten

Namor’s wings had grown back in where Shuri had ripped off. It made traveling easier while being in Wakanda. He landed near the hut, hearing Ramonda and Okoye inside. Not far from it, he could hear the two guards patrolling. He wanted to check on Ramonda, but thought not. He headed for the ocean to return to Talokan.

“Hello stranger,” the familiar voice called out to him. He watched as Ramonda came towards him. “Were you really going to go without saying at least a hello, before good bye?” He stared at her for the longest, still not believing she is alive, and not dead by his hand.

“I didn’t want to intrude,” he said, as Okoye came in their direction, and she seemed to be looking for someone. “The Princess is still at her lab.”

“Oh, I figured as much,” Shuri was not for who she was searching. She thought Attuma was with him. Namor took notice and smile. Attuma has found his match.

“Does she stay in that lab?” Ramonda asked them both.

“I’m not sure,” Namor told her.

“Yes,” Okoye told her. Especially if she’s working on something urgent. I’m going to go back inside.” They watched as she vanished behind the trees.

“Would you like to join me in a walk on the beach?” She asked.

“I would like too,” he said.

“It’s so peaceful and the sun is beginning to set,” she said. He walked beside her as they grew further away from the hut. But she could still sense they were being follow. Not close at all, a fairly good distance.

“Can you sense the guardsmen following us?” He asked, having his keen ears.

“Yes,” she replied. “How can you? Oh, never mind, you’re different.” She laughed.

“I’m what’s called a mutant.” He told her.

“Are all of your people like you?” She asked.

“No, they are not mutants like me,” he said. “But they have been altered.” She stopped, interested in how they became.

“Tell me about your people and you,” she said. “After all I’m at a disadvantage. You know about me, but I don’t know much about you.”

“Yes, I can tell you about my people and myself,” he expresses to her.

“Let’s sit on that rock, and you tell me everything,” she smiled then rushed over to the rock. It was higher than she thought. He picked her up and placed her on it. He sat at her feet gazing into her eyes.

He was filled with gratitude that she was alive; no thanks to him. She stared into his eyes as they captured hers, holding them in a grip. She felt herself falling deep into eyes, like the sea. She broke free and turned her eyes to the open sea. She felt a flow coursing through her body; residues from his hold.

“My ancestors were from the Yucatan, Mesoamerica. The Conquistadors invaded the land bringing smallpox. My mother was pregnant with me. Our Shaman sought the gods for help, and was drawn to a plant underwater. The Shaman prepared it for all to drink, they had to convince my mother. They all fell as if dead and were transformed to what they are now. They could no longer breath the air, so they were delegated to spend the rest of their lives in the deep.” He relayed the story.

“Then you were born down there?” She was enjoying learning about him and his people.

“Yes, I was born a few months after,” he replied. “I was not like them. I can swim underwater and fly in the sky. As you can see, I have wings on my ankles. I can’t breath underwater for too long like them, It was like a trade off. They can’t stay too long on the surface and need the equivalent of breathing masks. I use these to stay under for long lengths of time.” She stared at the green plugs in his nose.

“Yes, I remembered you telling me about those plugs, I guess,”,” she said. “So, the masks your people wear, is what the big guy has on the face?”

“Yes, it is,” Namor replied.

“So, how long have your people and you been down there?”

“I’m five hundred years old and they were there a few months before I was born.” He told her. “They promised my mother I would be the first born and become the king.”

“Five hundred?” She was astonished. “You don’t look a day over thirty.” He smiled at the compliment.

“But I feel it mentally and emotionally. I have seen things over the years as evidence of my age. You are like a baby to me.” He informed her. And she knew inside he was old compared to her years.

“Look the sun is going down,” she pointed. He helped her down and they stood side by side watching the its descent, and the evening surrendering to the night.

“That was so beautiful,” she whispered. He never noticed; his eyes were fixed on her. How different from her former self. “I guess we should start back.” She turned towards the hut.

“Yes,” he greed.

Shuri sat the file down, rubbing her eyes. She had tried every combination of the herb and the other ingredients the Shaman had mixed. Though the Shaman's potion was the nearest to the one she recreated there were differences. Maybe that equivalent might have saved her mother’s life.

“Princess,” King M'Baku entered the lab. “You are still here.” She looked up with tired eyes.

“I just can’t figure this out,” she said to him. “When I think I got it, there’s something that doesn’t balance.”

“Maybe a good nights rest will make things clearer in the morning.” He suggested.

“Just one more thing, then I will go.” She opened the file back up. M'Baku came around the desk and took the file. She looked at him bewildered.

“That was not a request,” he told her. “But an order. Now go home and rest.”

“Just remember I gave you the crown without a challenge.” She reminded him, playfully.

“A challenge you would no doubt lose,” He teased.

“Don’t be so sure,” she warned. “Haven’t created the solution to remove the Black Panther’s powers.”

“Well then I guess I better count myself lucky,” he said.

“No, you were the better choice for King,” she told him. “I will continue as the Black Panther and protector. We make a good team, which reminds me. We need to update our defense systems. I don’t trust the outside worlds.”

“I agree,” he concurred. “That government guy T'Challa, Okoye and you befriended. Informed us the US is planning an attack to destabilized us.”

“Then we must start on that pronto.” She said thinking. “One thing we have, no two things we have that is top secret.”

“Yeah?” He was confused.

“Yes,” she smiled. “The Black Panther and the Feather Serpent God.” He nodded in agreement.

“And the new set of warriors you assembled.” He informed her. “Led by Okoye, the Midnight Angels they are called.”

“I have to make more suits and upgrade them.” She said with a yawn.

“I will get with both Okoye and Ayo,” He said. “Now go!” She chuckled and left. M'Baku felt a greater admiration for T'Challa. Running a kingdom is more tedious than being a chieftain of a tribe, much, much more, he thought to himself. He left the lab to go do some reading before bed. Maybe get a carrot or two for a snack.

“I better go,” Namor told Ramonda. “I suspect Shuri will be exhausted and I don’t want her stressing by seeing me here with you.”

“What happened between the two of you?” She asked. He just looked out to sea towards Talokan. “I did something very destructive that cost her something very dear,” he said. “She will never forgive me.”

“I can’t say much without knowing fully,” she told him. “Maybe with time things could be cordial between you two. My advice to you though, is think things through before you act. Only you can judge whether or not if the consequences of what you do is worth it. She was right!

“I will go now,” he said. “Have a good night.”

“I will see you whenever you can come.” She told him. “Have a pleasant night.” Without another thought, he had flew away to Talokan. She watched his movement and wondered.

“Mother?” Shuri had been dropped off by one of the jets. Ramonda was so into Namor going and memorizing his flight pattern, she didn’t hear Shuri coming.

“Shuri,” she addressed her.

“Why are you out here alone? And where is Okoye?” She looked around.

“Okoye is in the hut,” she told her. “And I went for a walk up the beach a ways to watch the sunset, it was beautiful. You should join me some times. Give us a chance to bond as daughter and mother.”

“I would like that,” she smiled.

“Good,” she said. “I don’t want to waste any time getting to know all about you.” Shuri’s eyes began to water.

“Thanks Mother,” she put her arms around Ramonda and hugged her. Ramonda embraced her dearly.

“Come,” she said. “Let’s get you something to eat and to bed. You looked fatigued.” They entered the hut.

“Okoye,” Shuri looked at her. “Why you have my Mom outside alone?”

“Shuri stop!” Ramonda intervened before Okoye could reply. “And I was not alone. Your two guards were watching me every step of the way.”

“What? Did they see you clearly?” Okoye asked.

“I doubt it,” she went into the kitchen to prepare something for Shuri to eat. “They were too far away, I could sense they were there more than actually seeing them. Here Shuri eat!” She place a plate of various fruit in front of her and a glass of juice.

“Oh yeah, M'Baku and I are going to beef up our defense systems. We need Ayo, Aneka and you there also.” She informed Okoye.

“Sounds good,” She said. “Have a good night.” She left out, but not before she looked at Ramonda. She nod her head at Okoye, as a thank you for not telling Shuri about Namor.

Namor arrived in Talokan and went straight to his room. He sat on his bed and stared at the mural of the Black Panther and him. Ramonda was so right. His impulsiveness caused it all. The attack on the ship, the demand for Wakanda to capture the scientist and bring them to him, so he could kill them. Then the kidnapping of the Princess and Riri. And when Ramonda practically begged for him to release her daughter; he laughed telling her there was nothing she could offer him for the exchange of her daughter. What did he think? Did he really think she was not going to try and rescue her daughter? In turn he lost one of his own, which led to the attack on Wakanda and the Queen’s death.

Yes, his impulse caused more lives with Shuri as the new Black Panther seeking retribution. They fought hard and brutal; but she spared him for the sake of their people. She proved to be a better leader than him. She put the people first when he a!ways told himself it was to protect his people, but it could be partially true. It was always about what he wanted, not what he needed. He really shouldn’t see Ramonda again. This could go south and someone could get hurt.

Ramonda went out side to test something while Shuri was soaking in the tub. She had saw something Namor did when he took flight. She communicated with the wind and imitated Namor's lift off. She only went a few feet in the air, floating above ground.

How? Did she have these abilities before or was this something new? She seemed to walk on air, as she moved higher and higher. It felt so free to be one with the air. She moved about testing if she could glide closer to the water.

“Mama?” Shuri was done with her bath, and calling her. Ramonda lowered herself concealed in the trees. Just as her feet touched the ground Shuri came through. “What you doing out here?” Her eyes searching for anyone else or any particular body; Namor. She knew he was sniffing around.

“Nothing, just enjoying the night air,” she told her. “Let’s get you inside before you catch a cold. I have some warm coconut milk for you.” They went inside, Shuri took the mug from Ramonda and said goodnight, giving her a peck on the cheek. Ramonda watched her go inside her room, and touched the place Shuri had kissed her; she smiled as a warm feeling filled her. Their first connection.

Ramonda went into her room and sat at the window, but only staring into space. It was eating at her with all the secrecy around her. Why did no one want to tell her anything? That room she woke up in. What was it and why was she there? Maybe that’s where she should start. When Shuri leave she will go investigate that room and question anyone she could locate there

Chapter Eleven

Ramonda laid in her bed pretending to be asleep when Shuri peeked in on her. She heard Shuri leave, and sat up listening until she couldn’t detect her foot steps. She was going to go to that room and discover what happened to her there. She walked out the door and made her way further into the trees, seeking the two guards watching her.

“I keep telling y’all this is the Queen Mother they have hidden away in the place there,” the one guard had been saying this the first time he got a glimpse of her.

“You are a crazy man if you think that,” the other waved him off.

“Can you gentlemen accompany somewhere,” she said coming up on them. The one who thought the other was cuckoo, fell to his knees in reverence to her. The other followed.

“Queen Mother!” They said.

“Get up,” she commanded. “I am not your Queen or mother. One looked up into her face confused.

“You aren’t?” He asked knowing he recognized her more up close.

“No I am not,” she was stern. “Now I need to get to a cave like building and need you two to show how to navigate there without being seen.” She looked at one then the other.

“I wouldn’t do that guardsmen,” Namor came into view. Now the two men were more confused and not sure who do they listen too? The one who says she’s not the Queen, but clearly is? Or the him who lives in the ocean, attacked Wakanda but is now an ally? Ramonda froze, someone was coming. Namor heard them also. “Say nothing of her being here, understand?” They watched as he swiftly took Ramonda away.

Okoye came into view with their replacements at her side. She picked on their demeanor, and immediately knew something happened. “What’s wrong?” She asked. One thing they knew, the General was not with you toyed. So the one who kept trying to convince the others the Queen was alive, spoke up.

“General,” he started but was nudge by the other. Okoye glared at him.

“You,” she pointed at him. “go get nourishment and rest.” He saluted her walked away, never looking back for fear of Okoye. She turned to the other guardsmen. “You were saying?”

“The other day I got a glimpse of the one we are guarding,” he grew silence staring at the ground not sure if he should continue.

“And?” She asked. He gain the courage to speak.

“I saw who she was,” he told her.

“And who exactly?” She made a step to him, urging him to go on.

“The Queen,” he said to her.

“Are you sure?” She inquired. “I first I thought I was mistaken and she was someone who resembled her.”

“And now you feel differently?” She needed him to reveal why he was confident that he was right.

“She was here not long before you arrived,” he informed her. “Think they left because the heard you coming.”

“They?” she asked.

“Yes, the one from the sea.” He told her. Namor, she thought.

“Go get you some nourishment and rest,” she told him. “And say nothing more of this and tell the other to do the same.”

“But General, the Queen is dead. Right?” He asked bewildered.

“Just do as I say,” she commanded him. “Everything will be revealed. Trust me on this, please!”

“Yes General, I will do as you asked.” He saluted her and left. She turned to the other two. “I need you to keep this between the two of you until we get this straighten out.”

“Yes, General,” they said in unison and saluted her. She left them and when she was far enough away she called Shuri with her bracelet beads.

“Yes, Okoye?” She answered.

“You should drop what you’re doing and get here,” Okoye told her and hung up. She headed for the hut. Shuri stared at her bracelet for sometime wondering what’s going on now. She took one of the jets to get there faster.

“Why did you do that?” Ramonda stopped, glaring at him.

“Ramonda,” his voice soft and calm. “You’re suppose to be dead. None of your people except for the few know you are not. If word gets out you’re alive and it was kept a secret, it will be discord in your kingdom.”

“I don’t understand this logic,” she frowned. “Just tell them I’m a live. Enough of the secrets and lies.”

“I agree,” he told her. “Your death was a great lost, and so soon after your son's.” Namor revealed. He walked towards the hut.

“My son?” She asked, following him. “I also had a son? And he died?” She asked, bewildered. A son?

“A little less than two years,” He told her.

“How long ago was it---” she paused. That’s why she was concealed away in that room. She was thought dead, but some how survived. They came into the clearing of the hut.

“One of the jets are coming,” he told her. They watched it land, it was Shuri.

“Namor can you please give us some privacy,” she said rudely.

“Shuri!” Ramonda said loudly.

“Sorry mother,” she said. “But Okoye called me back here for some reason, and I suspect it’s something urgent to discuss.”

“It’s alright Ramonda,” he said. “I’ve become accustomed to the Princesses’ bad manners. I will leave you to your meeting.” With that said he flew away. Shuri was going to give him an ear full before he left.

“Why do you despise him so much? What did he do so I can understand?” She was desperate for answers. “I am not a child, nor so fragile you have to protect me.” Those words struck Shuri to the cord. Maybe it was the reason she was reckless with the Namor situation. She felt like no one looked at her as a young adult but like a child. For the first time she was in control.

“Right now my priority is getting your memory back,” now she understood why her mother treated her like a child. To her she was her baby. She got it!

“Shuri we need to talk,” Okoye arrived.

“No, we all need to discuss the secrets being kept of my death,” she was firm and almost sounded like her old self. “This is not good. I hated lying to the guardsmen.”

“I agree,” Okoye looked at Shuri. “This is getting out of hand. We have to meet with the council, and then the citizens of Wakanda.” Shuri knew this was right. She knew how she felt when she discovered her mother was alive and they had kept it from her for so long.

“You both are right,” she said. “We need to speak with M'Baku.”

“I informed him before I came here,” she told her. “He has called an emergency meeting. He wants you to come with the Queen.”

“We will be there,” she told her.

“Thank you two for seeing this is the right direction.” Ramonda felt relieved.

“Queen,” Okoye looked to her. “Where were you going with Namor?”

“Nowhere,” she told her. “I needed answers, and felt going back to that room would give me that. I asked the two guards to take me, and that’s when Namor came trying to stop me.”

“I see,” Okoye said, looking at Shuri.

“Two guardsmen saw you?” Shuri asked.

“Yes!” Ramonda replied.

“But four knows,” Okoye added. Shuri was shocked.

“Yes,” She said. This need to be dealt with ASAP!!”

Chapter Twelve

Namor swam around Talokan, mingling with his people. This is where he drew his stability, and purpose. He wondered what was their meeting concerning, and would it effect him seeing Ramonda. His interest in her wasn’t anything sudden. He felt her the day on the beach. She was shrewd, and would never have anything to do with him. But Shuri was so fun of life and curiosity, then Ramonda ordered her rescue, killing one of his people. And when he saw her in that window defiant of him, his rage took over and his senses fled. He recklessly water bombed the palace.

When the pronounce Ramonda dead, he knew all hope of any alliance went out the door; Ramonda was gone with it. But seeing her on the beach months later, made him realized something. How grateful he was she still lived and he didn’t take her life. Something that has been haunting him every day since that day.

“Will you tell her the truth, Shuri?”

Shuri flew Ramonda to the palace, in disguise; they wanted the reveal to be orderly. She took Ramonda to her bedroom. She walked around it seeing if anything jolted her memory, it didn’t. She went to the window to look over Wakanda for the first time. She thought it was breathtaking.

“How beautiful it all is,” she said. Shuri watched admiring the kingdom. Okoye walked in to join them.

“I wanted to tell you have everything will be laid out,” she informed them. “M’Baku is with the four tribe Chieftains, explaining all to them. As he finished, and no doubt they will either not believe him or be furious with him on keeping this secreted. Then we will be summoned, so lets go to the room adjacent to the Throne room.”

“I think I should get word to Nakia before word spread,” Shuri said.

“Yes, do that,” she told her.

“Let’s bring this meeting to order,” M’Baku's raised voice stopped cattering, everyone wondering what the urgency.

“Did that man of the Ocean break the treaty?” One asked.

“Yeah, I never trusted it would last,” another injected.

“My King,” M’Baku's brother chimed in. “Should be alarmed? Because I want some payback on the fish man as you call him,” The murmuring started up again and became louder.

“Are you all finish?” Once again his voice through out the room. Everyone became silence. “Came we get on to why you all are here?” All gave him the go ahead. “Queen Ramonda is alive!” He blurted out in M'Baku fashion. Ayo looked to Aneka, and she in turn to Ayo.

“I will go warn Okoye,” Aneka said. “This is going to get savage.

“General!” Aneka busted into the room the doors crashing against the walls. The three women jumped to their feet frighten. “You are not going to believe what King M'Baku just did.”

“What not? That man,” Okoye stated.

“He told the council the Queen is alive,” she told her.

“General, it’s how he did it,” she said. Okoye braced herself.

“How?” Okoye asked. Ramonda and Shuri had recovered from the fright.

“He brought them to attention, then yelled ‘Queen Ramonda is alive,’ I left before they reacted. Ra.onda was laughing. She couldn’t wait to meet the King, he sounds like fun to be around. At that moment Ayo came crashing in.

“General,” she looked panicked. “We need to bring her now, they are standing to their feet arguing.

“Alright,” Okoye said. “Queen are you ready?”

“Call me Ramonda, and yes, I’m ready.” She told Okoye.

“Are you out of your mind, My King.” One said.

“This is not funny, we lost greatness,” another added.

“Why would you say something so untrue? We all mourned her for all these months.”

“Because it’s true,” Okoye told them, with gasps from the room as they watched the five women walk towards the throne where M'Baku sat. Ramonda looked at each councilmen as she passed them. They all rose to their feet to honor her.

“The Queen lives,” they all begin to chant. Ramonda looked around the room, feeling overwhelmed.

Chapter Thirteen

Night had fell over the kingdom, sleep was not what it was seeking. A decree had been sent out. “The Queen Ramonda Lives” there will be seven days of celebrations. Ramonda stared out the window looking at the lit kingdom, the music and dancing all because she was no longer dead. She wondered what kind of Queen she had been for them to have such festivities in her honor. A huge banquet was planned in a few hours.

Ramonda looked at the wardrobe, and found such beautiful gowns. The hats matched each gown, and the shoes also. One thing for sure, she was an elegant dresser. She sat on the bed not sure how she should react to all of it. For some reason having Shuri near kept her ground. She did miss her hut, now that they will be staying in the palace. She wondered what Namor was doing.

Namor had come ashore to see Ramonda, but to his surprise she was not at the hut. More so he didn’t the presence of the guardsmen assigned to watch over her. May it had to do with why Shuri had abruptly dismissed him. Or maybe they took her to find out why she was developing these abilities. Or maybe they have taken her away, so he could not get any closer. He looked towards the hut then walked back to the shore. Heard sounds coming from the capital city. Who knows what they were doing, it didn’t concern him. He dove back into the water and swam home.

For days after Namor’s initial visit, he would come at the break of day; to see if Ramonda had returned. Only to be disappointed she was not there. On this particular upon his return to his room, he was met there with Attuma. He had some information for his ruler; concerning the Wakanda jubilee.

“Attuma,” he acknowledged him. “What is it may I do for you?”

“I have news of the Wakandans,” Namor looked at him with curiosity, but knowing where obtained it.

“What is going on with the Wakandans that they have been celebrating for these many days?” He inquired.

“Their Queen!” He revealed. “They announced she lives. The kingdom rejoices.” Namor looked at him, then to the mural; silence for a long time.

“I see,” is the only thing he said. He moved from in front of the mural and went to pour himself a drink of beverage he has kept on the single table in his room. Attuma went to walk away. “The Queen! Is she staying at the palace now?”

“Yes, K'ka'ulkan!” Attuma replied.

“Thank you Attuma,” he said. Attuma left him to his solitude. She must have gotten her memory back, and why she’s there. If her memory was still gone, she wouldn’t stay. This is all Shuri’s fault. She saw how close Ramonda was getting to him. He toss the glass across the room hitting the far wall and shattering into dust.

He needs to find her and see for himself if she remembers it was him who took her life, only to have her come back a shadow of the woman she use to be. He wanted to see the hatred for him emanating from her eyes, then he would be free from these cursed feelings consuming him. Feelings, no the love for her cultivating within his soul. This is the punishment dealt to him for what he did. He had to go find her and see. Tonight he will know for sure, and if so, he doesn’t know what to expect.

Ramonda was so happy this was the last night of the celebration of her revival. She had spent most of the day, meeting and greeting. The sad part of it, was the lying to everyone that she knew them. None knew she has no memory of the Inter workings of the politics. She just smiled and grinned. But after tonight she could go back to the hut into seclusion until the figure out how to restore her memory and what has caused her these enhanced abilities.

Shuri entered the room, followed by another woman and a young boy. Nakia came as soon as she could when she received the news from Shuri. She was briefed on the memory loss, but it didn’t matter to her if she remembers her or not. Having her alive is all she needed.

“Mother this is Nakia and this is her son Toussant, T'Challa!” Shuri introduced them. Ramonda stood, staring at the boy. Something tried to surface in her consciousness but was quickly pushed back.

“T’Challa,” she said. “Why does his name sounds familiar?” Nakia and Shuri glanced at each other.

“Hello, my Grandmother,” young T'Challa addressed her. Ramonda stepped back, lowering herself into a chair. Nakia completely forgot to warn T'Challa not to mention her was her grandson.

“Yes,T'Challa,” she said. “That was my son’s name, and you are his son.” Tears filled Ramonda cried for the lost memory of a son gone, and now his son stands before. This is one lost memory that she can build on; getting to know her grandson.

“Mom,” Shuri came over to her, while she conversed with Nakia and young T'Challa. “No one else besides us knows he is T’Challa's son.”

“This is one secret I can get behind,” Ramonda told her.

This was the last night of the festivities. A big banquet had been planned. Most of the clothes of Ramonda had to be altered due to her smaller frame now. It wasn’t like she had that much weight on her she could afford to lose.

“Shuri,” she called to her. “I want to go back to the hut tonight. It’s been a long tiring week.”

“But we wanted to start running tests and scans to see what we are missing,” Shuri explained. Ramonda became frustrated.

“I can come back and forth,” she told her. “It’s not like before. Everyone but outside knows, right?”

“I’m curious,” Shuri took her time to word the question right. “Your need to get back there. Does it have anything to do with Namor?” Ramonda stared at her.

“What did he do that you hold this great hatred?” Ramonda asked, but knew she wouldn’t tell her, so she walked away to her room. Shuri watched her walked down the corridor. She would’ve told her, but getting her memories back and allowing her to deal with Namor herself would be much better. Shuri decided to head to the banquet hall and join in the party.

Ramonda slammed the door behind her as she entered her room for the last several days. As elegant it was, it was not the home she was most comfortable. And to answer Shuri’s question; yes she missed seeing Namor. He was the first person she met who knew her. He had shown her the respect of treating her like an adult and not a child. She’s loss her mind, not her ability to cope with problems.

The sun long set, the festivities were on their official last night of jubilee. But the citizens will continue their own various celebrations. Some private, others in large group parties, fairs will remain constructed. Yes, they had much to be grateful, as their Queen has been brought back to them.

The banquet in full force, but Queen Ramonda had not made her presence. Okoye looked at Shuri, mouthing where was the Queen, she shrugged she didn’t know. She hoped her mother hadn’t left the palace to go back to the hut. At that moment everyone began to stand, started with those closest to the entrance and moved towards the head of the elongated table to where M'Baku sat at the head. The Queen was making her entrance.

Shuri became emotional seeing how graceful her mother appeared. Only a few knew how uncomfortable this walk was for her, as the people honored her presence. Ramonda let out a sigh as she came to stand next to M'Baku. Only when she sat did not he congregation follow in suit; then resume their conversing, eating, and drinking. Yes, must have good spirits on hand.

“You did well,” M'Baku caught her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. She looked at him smiling nervously. Shuri had helped her practice her entrance, and couldn’t be more proud of how she pulled it off.

“Thank you,” Ramonda said to him. Just as she finally settled down, A commotion was coming from the same entrance; it was Namor with Namora and Attuma. Okoye and Attuma’s eyes met and stayed fixed on each other. Namor set his own those of Queen Ramonda. She looked at him, with such adoration and glee to see him.

“What is going on there?” M'Buka rose to his feet. “Let them pass!” The guards stepped aside, as the trio walked towards him. Namor, I am surprise you came to celebrate the return to life of our Queen Ramonda. Considering all things.” M'Baku was tossing the shade hard around the room. Namor eyes left those of Ramonda and came to glare at M'Baku.

“I had heard the music, laughter and joy coming from Wakanda. It didn’t come to my attention until today the rejoicing was due to the fact your Queen still lives after all.” Namor said to M'Baku with a slight in his voice, only M'Baku got. “Your Majesty, welcome home.” The room erupted. Shuri rose to her feet how dare he crashed their celebration due to him and the powers that be.

“Namor please! Leave, have you done enough.”

“Shuri!” Ramonda stood to her feet. “This is not the time or place. Namor, please leave.” She told him. His eyes darken too blind to see how it hurt her to send him away. He looked at her, anger fuming in his eyes. With Namora and Attuma at his side, he left without any protest.

Ramonda placed her arm over the middle of her stomach and sat before her emotions took over. He had never looked at her with such disdain. Once again, M'Baku grabbed her hand gently, but he said nothing. She held her head high wanting for this evening to end.

“The Queen has returned,” Namor spoke freely once they had put distance from the city and nearing the water.

“No, K'ka'ulkan,” Attuma stop to talk. He knew when Namor is hurt he strikes out. “Did you not see her face light up when she saw you?”

“I heard her dismiss me,” He said.

“No, K'ka'ulkan. Attuma is right!” Namora jumped in.

“You two are talking nonsense. I saw her stand up and told me to leave.” His voice loud and he was becoming enraged.

“Have you not forgot you made the choice to end this woman’s life. But now she is alive and without her memories. Again because of your actions. As much as you two seem to be getting alone; it’s based on the delusion in your mind. Whatever these feelings you’re conjuring up. Just remember the last time Talokan was spared from what we unleashed on Wakanda. Only Because of the generosity of Shuri the Black Panther. This time will not end the same. Talokan will pay,” Attuma said it, then dove into the water to get home. Namora stared at him for a moment the went after Attuma. Namor flew away to a place where he could ground himself; Ramonda’s hut.

Ramonda quietly left the hall. M'Baku covered for her citing it had been an overwhelming week and she needed to rest now. Everyone understood and continued with what they were doing. Shuri came to check on her and saw she was preparing to leave.

“Mother, what are you doing?” Shuri asked.

“I’m going home,” Ramonda told her. “I can come back for the tests scans or whatever; but I must leave here.” Shuri couldn’t argue with her. Being back at the hut will be better for her. She could tell this was all too much for her.

“I will have you dropped off,” Shuri left to prepare a jet to transport her home.

Namor landed by the shore near Ramonda’s place. He walked towards it and through the trees. He stood staring at it, thinking about all Attuma expressed. Attuma was right, and it appears Namora agreed with him. Talokan could have easily been destroyed with more than what the Wakandans brought. They had not come to war, but instead for him alone.

He walked unto the porch, and stood in front of her door. He gently pressed his hand against the it and closed his eyes, imagining she was there behind it. ‘My advice to you though, is think things through before you act. Only you can judge whether or not if the consequences of what you do is worth it.’ These words regurgitated in his mind. He needs to learn to not to allow his emotions dictate his actions.

“Namor!” Ramonda’s voice filled the air, at first he thought it was only in his head. He was so deep in thought he never her the jet come to drop her off nor her walking towards the hut. He turned around and watched her run to him and in his arms before could react. “Oh Namor you’re here, you’re here.” She repeated holding him tight. All he could do was bask in this moment in time when it was just them two and no one else.

After moments of them standing on the porch of her hut, holding each other; that Namor finally broke the spell. He rested his hands lightly on her shoulders and pulled her a few inches from him to stared into her eyes, searching. Attuma and Namora was right, she was still his Ramonda.

“I thought you had regain your memory and didn’t anything to do with me,” he told her.

“No, I didn’t want you two causing a scene,” she said. “It was suppose to be a joyous occasion. And it was clear no-one wanted you there. You leaving was the logical choice.”

“Well, you were quite convincing as your old self,” he said. “I mean, the attire, your movements and your tone in your voice when you ordered me out!”

“Shuri rehearsed me so no one would suspect that I have no idea who I once were nor how to portray Queen Ramonda.” She sighed. “This is so complex. I saw how you looked at me when you turned to leave. At that moment I knew what I was feeling for you in my heart. I know I don’t know you that well. But you have been one of my constants. And you do not treat me like I’m broken and needs to be fix. You treat me like a woman who is her own person.” Namor watched as she pulled away and left the porch. He followed her to wherever she desired to go. She may get her memories back or not; right now all he wanted was to spend every moment he could with her.

Ramonda stood at the shore, listening to the Wakandans in full jamboree. It was uplifting to see a week long celebration of her. She must have been a hell of a lady to generate such love. She felt a melancholy sensation flow over her; she wish she knew this person. This person is her, but locked deep inside.

“I wish I could remember who I was for everyone’s sake,” she said. Namor stared at her his heart sinking. Yes, for everyone’s sake, but his own.

“Have they come close to restoring your memory,” he asked afraid of the answer.

“Unfortunately, not,” she said sadly. “Not that they would tell me.” Namor remember Shuri wanting him to take her and release Riri. He felt that was her way of escaping her mother’s and other’s pressuring her to succumb to her brother’s death.

Being Talokan with him would eliminate it. No one in Talokan would care about how she dealt with her grief; especially him. He could understand this is the mistake they are making with Ramonda, as the same with Shuri. He was surprised Shuri didn’t relate enough to acknowledge what her mother is experiencing.

“What is so bad that they refuse to tell me?” She turned to him. “Maybe if the tell me about my death, it could jog my memories. Don’t think?”

“I don’t know that,” he said. She stared at him.

“You are also hiding something too,” she accused him. “What is it that happened so bad between us you don’t want me to know?”

Namor took Ramonda’s hands into his own, gently. “Whatever that had happened between us in the past,” he paused, gazing into her beautiful brown eyes. “I regretted it the moment it occurred, then my anger got the best of me. I said some things heartlessly.” He turned to look out over the sea. Connecting with Wakanda had been a life changing experience. Especially with Shuri, and now Ramonda. They brought feelings out of him he never thought he would be able to undergo such intimacy.

Yes, no one could touch the love for him people and kingdom. He would give his life to protect them. Now, those feelings are extended to Wakanda because of these beautiful souls. He was wrong about the surface dwellers, and Shuri was right. Not all are the same, and not all are as the heads of their perspective governments. Those are the true enemies.

“Namor,” Ramonda had called him multiple times, but his thoughts had ran deep. “Namor, are you alright?” He looked at her and never felt he could love her anymore than he did at this moment in time. His heart sunk knowing once she regained her memory this all will be like a dream he will relive as long as he lived. That will be his utter most retribution for what he did to her. Funny how life can play someone. Karma is what they say.

“Yes, my darling. I am fine,” He lied and she picked up on the sadness in his voice.

“But you don’t look fine,” she touched the side of his face, searching his eyes for answers. “What do you mean this will end? What is it the restoration of my memory will cause it?”

“I am sworn to not say, and I concur.” He told her. “Come sit with me while we listen to your people; singing, dancing, music playing and laughing enjoying themselves.” She stared in his eyes, feeling melancholy for the second time tonight. She feared her memories held something drastic, that will bring on a change in their dynamic.

“Fine, I will respect that,” she conceited. She allowed him to lead her to the water’s edge; and sit there at his side, his arm wrapped about her holding her close. She never saw the tears drowning his eyes, nor when they flowed down his cheeks with some dropping from his face. She was too elated to feel his warm body next to hers and his powerful arm securely about her. She looked up into his face, he lowered his head and captured her mouth in his own. He kissed her with all the desperation consuming his soul. She groaned loudly collapsing in his arms, he had almost sucked the very breath from her lungs.

“Ramonda!” He called to her picking her up in his arms and carrying her to the hut nearby. He entered it and place her on the sofa. She moaned lazily, coming too.

“What happen to me?“ She asked, staring up at him.

“I think I took your breath away,” he told her relieved she was alright. “And I do mean that literally.” She sat up trying to gather herself.

“Wow!” She exclaimed. “That was intense. You are a very passionate 'My Man'.” She laughed as she recalled the kiss before she succumbed. She began to giggle, it was nice to see it. Namor laughed enjoying her glee, and the fact she referred to him as ‘My Man’.

“What is going on here?” Shuri came in on the two having a joyous moment between them. Both their heads snapped in her direction, ending the special time. Shuri pointed an angry finger at Namor. “What are you doing here?” Ramonda jumped to her feet.

“Stop it!” She yelled. “You are being rude, now apologized.” Shuri glared at him, wanting go into him. But that changed when she heard her mother of old for the first time since they were reunited.

“No Ramonda, she does not owe me an apology,” Namor intervene on her behalf. If anyone should be him for the pain he caused her which shaped what she has become now.

“My mother is right; I am being rude to a guest in our home.” Namor's jaw dropped. Who is this young lady and what did she do with Shuri?

“Umm, alright. Apology accepted.” He stood in amazement. “I better get back to my people. Thank you for an beautiful time.”

“Wait! I will walk you to the ocean.” She hooked her arm in his and walked out the hut, with Shuri watching them.

They came to the beach, Ramonda turned to face him, gazing in his eyes. He returned the gesture, and knew what her eyes were asking. This time he will be gentler. He leaned down and capture her mouth once again kissing her with half the force than before. But for her it was still powerful her legs buckled under her. He caught her in his arms lifting her from the ground allow her to grow as weak as she desired. He had her!

Shuri watched from the trees, a rage began to swell in her. She had to figure away to get her mother from his clutches without causing damage the treaty in place. She left them to their encounter. Ramonda knew the moment Shuri had went into the house. She also felt deeply, something troubling was weighing on Namor. She turned to stare out to the ocean.

“Take me to Talokan,” she said, never looking at him. “I want to see your home, and way of life.”

“Now?” He asked, coming up beside her.

“Yes, now.” She said. “There will be no better time.” Namor caught a hint of sadness in her voice.

“Ramonda, are you alright?” He asked. She turned her head to look him in the eyes.

“I want to see where you live,” she repeated.

“But you can’t go like that,” he told her. “The depth will crush you.” She smiled.

“No it won’t,” she said and ran out into the water diving in.

“Ramonda wait!” He yelled after her. “Shuri will surly pull out my other wings.” He mumbled going in after her. She had made quite the distance from him. And for a regular human, she was moving fast. He barely caught up with her.

Shuri heard the splash and ran to the beach to see, both Namor and her mother gone. Her anger mounted, as she realized the significant of the situation. He was taking her mother to Talokan as he did her. He said she was the first surface person to ever see it. Now her mother will be the second, but no one to go to rescue her. Because she didn’t think rescuing is what her mother wants. She sat down on the sand to wait for her return.

Her mind question what was causing the anger? Was it she still hated him for trying to kill her mother and now her changing? Or was it because he seemed to have shifted his affection from her and to her mother? Could she had developed feelings for him when she was in Talokan? She would have stayed with him if it meant saving Riri and peace between the kingdoms. Or was it she understood his motives and wanted to be with him.

He can be quite the charmer, and just as dangerous. But with her mother, there was a side of him she hadn’t witness. A calmer side, no settled down. That’s it! She didn’t want to know what were his plans for her mother. She shuddered. That was her mom, and he is super strength.

“Namor you better remain a gentleman!” She said to herself. “Please come back soon, mom.”

Ramonda had formed a protective air pocket around her, having the same functions as the diving suits made by man. He astonished with the abilities she has been exhibiting. And yet it scared him, unknowing how much will the change develop her; and will they lose her again. He wished they had never given her the herb.

“Namor,” she called to him. “What is on your mine, my Man?”

“We are almost there,” He told her, then began to ascend deeper into the ocean. She followed him closely as the water became murky, and she could hardly see ahead. But it didn’t stop her from sensing the way ahead of her.

Namor took her the exact route of the one he showed Shuri. Ramonda was no less excited as her daughter before her. She fell in love with Talokan and it’s people. They were as friendly and accepting to her as they had been to Shuri. This pleased Namor very well. When he took her to the ball of light sitting on top of the building and explained to her as he had Shuri. He was elated with her reaction as he had been with Shuri. He gestured to her it was time to go and swam away. She hesitated not wanting to leave, but followed him.

“I don’t need to ask if you enjoyed yourself,” he said to her as he assisted her out the water.

“Enjoy?” She laughed and spun around. “Enjoy is not the word that comes to mind. It’s breath taking, fascinating and the most magnificent place I’ve seen.” He let out a chuckle. She had the most lovely smile, and like a child in a candy shop.

“Well, Wakanda is pretty amazing itself,” he told her. She looked at him grasping her hand.

“Yes, that place is another imaginable place,” she said then went into thought. Namor noticed this and wondered what has been on her mind when none of them were around. She was shivering unnoticed to her. He called to one of his maid servant and whispered in her ear.

“Ramonda,” called to her. She looked at him. “Please go with her. You need dry clothes.”

“Oh yes,” she said realizing she was cold. She followed the young servant. Namor watched until the were no longer in sight, then turned and walked towards his dwelling to also change into something more appropriate for a Queen's visit. Namor had the servant to set the table as Ramonda may be hungry after the swim and tour. He sat waiting for her to come.

Namor heard Ramonda before she entered through the door. He had to catch his breath. She was more tantalizing than he had image she would be. He had a replica of the dress she wore the day they met on the beach made. It was of a lighter material, and not as bulky; flowing down her body accentuating her curves. Even the low-cut collar lined up just right exposing the same amount of her breast as the original. He wore a cape extending just below his knees, and it closed to the one side on his shoulder. He immediately rose to his feet and extended his hand to her. She met him and place her hand in his; he led her to a place at the table across from where he would be sitting.

“I had them to prepare something to eat after the long day,” he told her and offered her the platter of fruit grown from their undersea gardens.

“Thank you,” she said and took one of the fruits. He sat it down and pour beverage into their cups. “This dress is so exquisite.”

“I’m glad you like it,” he said. “you look beautiful, Ramonda.” His eyes could not leave the sight of her sitting across from him sharing a meal.

“Thank you,” her eye gazing into his. “This was a wonderful, I hope never to forget. No matter what may come.” He stared at her, pondering the meaning of how she made this statement.

“I’m happy it was an unforgettable for you,” he rose to his feet and went to stare at his mural. The battle between Shuri and him. They nearly killed each other that day, but joined forces as allies instead.

“What does the painting means?” Ramonda had come to his side.

“It was my battle with the Black Panther,” he told her. “Things shifted and we realized we were the same. That’s how Wakanda and Talokan became allies.” She studied the picture for a moment then walked away. He looked after her.

“What is troubling you?” He asked.

“I don’t know all that occurred before, but I know whatever; it was major,” she said to him. “And I feel you were in the center of it.” She looked at him.

“This is true,” all he would say. She came and leaned into him, resting her head on his chest; hearing the beat of his heart. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into him.

Ramonda lifted her head up to him, begging for his lips. He leaned down and covered her mouth with his own as he had done earlier, but more controlled. After what seemed like eternity they came up gasping for air. Namor gazed in her eyes and saw what she desired from him. He lifted her up in his arms and carried her away. He could never deny her anything, he was forever in her debt. But most of all, he had fallen in love with this incredible creature of the surface world.

Shuri had fallen asleep under a palm tree, only to be awakened by Okoye. “Princess, why are you out here in the elements?” She took a seat next to her. Shuri sat up wiping her eyes, trying to focus. She looked to the ocean where she knew her mother was out there with Namor. She leaped to her feet, mind going crazy what he could be doing to her.

“Princess,” Okoye came up to her side staring at the ocean searching to see what was upsetting Shuri.

“He has her,” she told her.

“Who has who?” she looked at Shuri then back to the water.

“Namor,” she answered. “ He has my Mom.

“What?” Okoye yelled and made a few steps towards the water. “We need to alert the King. This is a breech of the treaty. Why didn’t you stop him or warned us?” Okoye came back to her confused. She is the Black Panther, why didn’t you fight for your mother.

Shuri didn’t answer, instead continued to gaze out to sea, tears flowing down her face. “She wanted to go with him.” She confessed. Okoye looked at her then towards where Talokan was located.

“Oh, I see.” She stated. She had saw how the Queen interacted with Namor. Shuri glared at her.

“No, Okoye. You don’t.” She yelled. “Every moment she is with him her life is in danger.”

“I doubt he would harm her from how he was with her,” Okoye giving her observation.

“Really, Okoye?” Shuri walked up to her. Okoye took it as a threat. “Remember he was the one who killed her. Do you really think he’s not capable to do it again?” Okoye took a few steps back, allowing some room between her and the one she deemed a little sister.

“I know you are upset,” she begin. “But I need you to take a little more calmness concerning you and I.” Okoye spoke in a low but stern voice. Shuri heard her intentions, and turned to walk in the water for a small ways.

“I’m just so concern for her Okoye,” she spoke softly. Okoye has always loved and protected her. She didn’t deserve this type of treatment. “I’m so sorry, Okoye. I shouldn’t take it out on you.”

“Don’t give it another thought.” Okoye came to her and wrapped her arms around her, holding her dearly. Her little sis has gone through so much the last two years; and she feared it’s not much more that could be asked her.

“I’ll feel so much better when she’s home,” she said. “Who knows what devious thoughts could be going through his mind.” Okoye chuckled silently. What she saw between them may be devious but certainly not dangerous. In fact, she has no doubt the Queen will come back a happier woman. Which reminds her, maybe she should summon Attuma.

Namor and Ramonda sat on a bedding of huge pillows. His back braced against the wall. She was positioned between his legs resting on him; covered to her chest with a sheet. His arms draped over her shoulder pressing her into him, their bare skins touching. It had been the most exhilarating night he had known for a long time. The love she expressed to him could not be compared with any in his lifetime. She was truly a extraordinary woman; they will forever be joined.

“Finally you awake,” he said hooking her chin and bringing it up so he could gaze into her enticing brown eyes.

“Yes, I have been for some time.” She confess. “I just wanted to bask in this moment in your arms feeling you next to me.” Once again sounding omniscience. He pressed his hand on the side of her face.

“Do you regret what we did?” He asked. She turned around to him, holding his head between her hands.

“Never!” She told him. “The way you loved me will resonate over me, and in me for the rest of my life. No, no regrets here. Only gratitude that such a passionate one as you could love me so deeply.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, tears rolling down her face.

He placed his hands on her hips, lifting her upon his lap to position her. His need was to make love to her until the morning sun. She relaxed in his arms cherishing every moment she shared with him. Soon they would have to part ways for a little while.

Okoye was able to get Shuri to finally go to bed, with the promise she will find out if her mother was alright. Okoye never doubted the Queen mother was fine, for Shuri’s sake she made the decision to use the conch given to her by Attuma. It seems each had their own. She watched as he emerged from the water. He spoke to her in his native language.

“Okoye!” He approached her, happy to see her once again. He gently grasped her arms, and pulled her into him. She leaned her head back, given him easily access to her lips. He lowered himself down and kissed her passionately. She let a light groan to escape, vibrating through his mouth. It sent a current through his body. But as much he was enjoying their greeting, he knew she hadn’t taken him away from Talokan for it. He pulled away from the kiss but not their embrace.

“The Queen is in Talokan?” She asked. He stared into her eyes.

“Yes, she asked to visit,” he informed her of what was told to him by Namor.

“I figured as much in the way those two were into each other.” She said. “The Princess was concerned.”

“But not you?” He asked. “I saw a man with deep feelings. But curious how that came about.”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” he replied. “I think after the Black Panther spared him, he had a change of heart. He knows it was because the Princess cared for my people and of course all of you.”

“Yes, enough of the senseless blood shed,” Okoye left his arms and walked to the edge of the water. Attuma came up behind her. “Do you know how long she will be down there? I’m asking for the Princesses’ peace of mind.”

“She will make her return at sunrise, accordingly to custom.” Okoye turned to face him.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“It’s late and its been a long day. Namor will want her to rest before making the long journey back.” He explained.

“Alright, that’s understandable,” she told him, but not sure how custom played in it.

“I better get back,” he told her. “When can we see each other with out our duties getting into the way. I desire some quiet time with you.” Okoye smiled with this exclamation; she wanted the same.

“When are you free?” She asked. “When your Queen returns I will come with her, then you and I will plan sometime away together.”

“Sounds good to me,” she said to him. He gave her another lingering kiss, then jumped into the ocean and swam away. Okoye smiled, they had become close. She hoped that this situation with the Queen doesn’t cause them to become at odds with each other. She headed back to the hut to get some rest. She still wasn’t feeling that custom remark or was believing his explanation. She had a feeling tomorrow was going to prove interesting.

Ramonda was up and ready to return home. It had been a memorable night. Something she would cherish for the rest of her life. She had put on a beautiful gown of teal in color. She caress the three tier jade stones necklace he placed about her neck, saying. ‘Now you are mine forever.’

“Good morning my darling,” he moved up behind her pulling her into him. “Did you get some sleep. I did curtail my affection so you could.” He laughed.

“Yes, I did.” She said. “But I must get out of here. I’m sure Shuri is going crazy.”

“She is,” he told her “The General summoned Attuma and told him as much.”

“Then I should go,” she said. “But will be back as planned.”

“I won’t be going with you,” he told her. “I will be here waiting for you to return to me.” Her heart nearly broke seeing the sadness in his eyes. She pulled his head down and kissed him as a promise she would return.

“That should hold you until I come back,” she laughed. Attuma came to the door, to escort her back to the surface. She looked back one last time and blew him a kiss, then jumped into the water. She commanded the water to form an air pocket around her.

Namor stood at the door hearing them swim further and further away, until he heard nothing. He took a seat at the table, thinking of the night and all that unfolded between them; and his people. They hadn’t had anything so festive in awhile, not even the time Shuri came could compare. He laid his head on the table; he was missing her already.

“Attuma” Ramonda called to him.

“Yes, my Queen,” He looked to her.

“I need to speak with Shuri alone,” she told him. “Can you distract Okoye if she’s there?”

“With pleasure,” he smiled.

“I thought as much,” she grinned.

Shuri woke and saw Okoye asleep on the sofa. She didn’t want to wake her to see if she had news on her mother. She sat a pot of water to boil so she could drink some tea. Okoye woke from the movement about her, her training.

“Okoye,” she said, coming to her. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t,” she said. “I needed to get up anyways.”

“Did you get some news on my mother?” She asked.

“She should be here some time this morning as I was told.” She said.

“So she’s alright?” Shuri asked.

“She’s doing great.” She told her. “From my understanding she asked to go. Does that ring a bell?” Shuri avoided the question and instead went back to pour the hot water in the cup and spooned in some grind tea leaves. Shuri looked up.

“Someone approaches,” she said. Okoye was at her feet, and out the door. It was the Shaman accompanied by the two guardsmen.

“Princess,” she called out, as she came through the trees.

“Shaman,” Okoye addressed her first. “what are you doing out here?”

“I remembered the ingredients to making the potion that strips the Black Panthers of their powers for the ceremonial rituals.” She exclaimed. “It will be able to help your mother.”

“What about her memory?” Shuri asked.

“That I feel is more organic, and will heal in time.” She informed Shuri.

“Like maybe her brain has an injury?” Shuri asked.

“Yes, exactly. It needs to heal.” The Shaman confirmed.

“So this may be able to reverse what is happening to my mom?” Shuri thought. How to get her to drink it? She has embraced these powers she has come to possess. The Shaman gave Shuri the vial and left with the guardsmen.

“What’s wrong Shuri?” Okoye noted her expression.

“My mom will not take this willingly,” she looked at Okoye. “She has come to love her new life, and powers.” She went back into the hut. She had to get her to drink this and hopefully return her mom back to her whole again.

“That will be a problem if she doesn’t want to give it up.” Okoye said. “How will you give it to her if she resist?”

“Water splashing,” Shuri said. “My mother!” She ran out the door to see her mother coming from the beach Attuma at her side. “Mama!” Shuri ran to her hugging her for dear life. Ramonda looked at Okoye, then placed her arms around Shuri and hugged her back.

“I’m sorry I worried you,” She told her caressing her hair.

“It’s alright Mother,” she said. “You’re here now.” Attuma beckoned for Okoye to come with him. She obliged. Shuri and Ramonda entered the hut. “So mother, did you have a wonderful time?”

“It was the best night of my life as I know it,” She sat down gleaming as she spoke of Talokan and it’s people. How welcoming they were of her, and how lovingly kind Namor was to her. “I will be going back to spend more time. I just wanted to let you see I’m alright.” Shuri stared at her for a long time.

“Go back!” She nearly yelled. Ramonda came to her feet, giving Shuri a look.

“Shuri,” she said. “Is that the way I raised you?”

“You tell me mama. Is it?” Ramonda turned away. That was cruel of her, why would she asked this child such a question.

“I apologize. That was wrong,” She told Shuri. But she wasn’t listening. Shuri had made a conscious decision.

“No need to apologize mother,” Shuri was calm in her speech. “And it’s no to your question. You didn’t raise me to be disrespectful to no one and you of all.”

“I didn’t think I did for the beautiful young woman standing before me,” Ramonda told her. “I am proud to be your Mother. I look forward to building our relationship back up. The foundation is already there.”

“Would like some tea, and sit out on the porch for awhile before you return to Talokan?” Shuri asked.

“Yes, I would like that,” Ramonda told her. Shuri poured water into two cups of grounded tea leaves, and when she saw Ramonda had went to stand in the doorway watching Okoye with Attuma, she took the vial and poured the solution in one.

Shuri sat the two cups with spoons and raw honey on a tray and brought it out onto the porch. Ramonda had already took a seat in a chair enjoying the outside fresh air. She enjoyed her time on Talokan, but the surface world had its perks.

“Here mother,” Shuri handed her the cup with the potion. She watch as Ramonda took a couple of sips, the relaxed back in the chair.

“I remember you told me I had a son,” Ramonda reminiscence.

“T'Challa,” Shuri said with great adoration. Ramonda continued to sip as Shuri told her about T'Challa.

“So it’s a date?” Okoye and Attuma planned there getaway. Day and place, away from all the craziness surrounding them.

“Noooo!” Ramonda was on her feet holding her head between her hands. Shuri was pressed against the wall staring in shock. Okoye and Attuma ran quickly to them.

“What happened?” Okoye looked to Shuri as she gently grabbed the Queen’s arms. Ramonda collapsed in her arms. Shuri stood in place uttering nothing. Attuma took her limped body from Okoye and brought her into the hut then laid her down.

“I must go to alert K'uk'ulkan,” Attuma told Okoye.

“Yes, go!” She encouraged him. “I will get to the bottom of this.” Attuma left with haste. Okoye turned to Shuri, who looked at her.

“She just started screaming in pain,” Shuri said, tears streaming down her face.

“What have you done?” Okoye looked over and saw the empty vial. She went to pick it up and looked at Shuri. “You gave her this without her consent?” At that moment Shuri glared at Okoye through tears filled eyes.

“You can go now,” she told her. “I don’t need you of all people judging me about doing something without someone’s knowledge. Not after what you all did depriving me of knowing my mother was alive on these months. Not to mention giving her the herb. So go!”

“Oh,” Ramonda groan as she came too. “What’s happening with me?” She looked into Shuri’s as she came to her side. Okoye stood back.

“You were on the porch with me drinking tea,” Shuri explaned. “Then you yelled out and went unconscious.”

“You put some type of herbs in the drink,” Ramonda told her. “I can taste each one. Oh no! What have you done child?” Ramonda cried out as her memories flowed into her mind. She ran out the hut, lifting herself into the air and flew away. Shuri chased after her, but she vanished.

“I will go now” Okoye told her and started off, but as she came through the trees; the water erupted. Out came Namor, and he did not look happy.

“Where’s Ramonda?” he demanded, landing on the beach with his eyes fixed towards the hut. Namora accompanied him. Attuma took his place at the side of Okoye.

“She’s gone,” Shuri told him. He stomped pass her towards the hut.

“What do you mean she’s gone?” He yelled in desperation. Gone, played over and over in his mind. His heart nearly sunk to his stomach and his lungs felt as if they would collapse. The short distance to the hut seemed like endless miles away, everything was like a slow-motion movie.

“Not that gone,” Shuri told him. He stopped in mid step, turn to her for clarification. “She regained consciousness, then flew away.” He started towards her, aggressively. Okoye made at step before Attuma had grabbed her arm. She glared at him to dare to halt her from defending her Princess.

“You will not be needed, Okoye,” he said to her. “He would not dare harm the Black Panther or any Wakandan; for more than one reason.” Okoye stared at him and knew she could trust in what he said to her. She stepped back to him. He released the grip on her arm, replacing it with his arms encircling her waist.

“In what direction?” He asked, hoping to go after her.

“I don’t know the direction,” Shuri told him. “She went straight up and out of sight.”

“There’s something not right going on here,” he accused. “You did something, I can feel it. You didn’t want me, that you made perfectly clear. But when I saw her that faithful day wandering about confused, not knowing who or where she was, I never could image I would have a renewal of happiness. Something I knew I didn’t deserve. Especially from her, the one person I hurt the most. But she did, she gave me her heart. And you fought it every step of the way. She came to tell you something very important to her and she was coming back to live with me, splitting her time between you and I. She may not remember you are her child, but inside of her, she knows it.” He turns away, not wanting them seeing the tears in his eyes. Namora looks to Attuma, he gestures for her to stay calm.

“You said a lot to say nothing, Namor.” Shuri said, with venom in her words.

“What did you do?” He asked. “She would not leave without saying anything; she would not do that to me.”

“I will seek my mother out and do what I need to do to take care of her. She is not your responsibility, you have no ties to her.”

“What happened to the young woman who found herself again on that desert where we had our battle?” He asked. “It seems lately you’re drifting back into that mode we had moved pass for our people sake.” Shuri looked away, it was true. Every since he began sniffing around her mother, something stirred in her. Could it be jealousy? He no longer desired or pursued her as he once had, but found happiness with her mother.

“She didn’t tell you, did she?” He asked, breaking her train of thought. Shuri stared at him confused.

“Tell me what?” She inquired. He laughed, triumphantly; but sad at the same time.

“Your mother and I didn’t just make love,” he told her. Shuri’s body shook all over. Thinking they did and actually hearing it, made it real. He had touched her mother, and she wanted to rip his wings off again. “We celebrated our love with all of Talokan; with a marriage ceremony. She is my WIFE!!” He said with great pride. Okoye looked to Attuma, understanding what he meant by their custom. Ramonda was Queen of the Talokaniles! She belonged to them now, as well as Wakanda. Shuri stared at him trying to digest what he had said. She stumbled back and crumbled to the ground.

Ramonda landed in the mountains far from civilization. She needed to deal with the memories of her life resurfacing. And the memories of the pass several weeks combined. She remembered everything of the pass and the presence. Only what were missing, was the time she spent in the coma.

What was Shuri thinking to give her that potion? What was she trying to accomplish? She felt like an experiment gone wrong. And then there was Namor. She remembered there night together, him loving her and their marriage. The man who killed her; allegedly. He’s partially the cause of what has happened to her all these months.

“He knew I didn’t remember who he was and what he had done. But that didn’t stop him from making incredibly beautiful love to me,” She surmise. “I can’t get the feel of his touch pulsating over every inch of my body. The taste of his mouth in mine and the smell of his body flowing through my nostril. Oh, help me! I love him so much. What am I going to do?” She began to cry.

#ramonda #queen ramonda #queenramonda

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terraxcloud · 2 years

Text

Cyan’s WoR Story

Act 4, Chapter 2 - Part 2 of Opera Omnia is rather intense with the Clerra hints.

Terra says something peculiar, and since she says it with Vincent and Eiko in the scene I feel like I have to post the translation.

Terra: “But I want to believe in inevitability. My esper father and my human mother met beyond the boundaries of their world. Maybe I was born to connect the two races with this power I was struggling with...I'm ready to move forward.”

This scene is all about finding someone to love (the whole chapter is about loving someone, tbh), so in essence, that’s what Terra’s talking about here. It’s not really clear with just this line alone, so I’ll put the line that she’s responding to below (which comes before a line by Vincent, who always portends Clerra-related storylines in DFFOO):

Chelinka: “Hmm, maybe it hasn't clicked for me yet, but someday I'll meet someone like my mom and dad, and just "know"! But...isn't that an incredible miracle? My mom was a priestess, so she could see it, but for normal people, depending on the world's situation and position, there are times when you can't fall in love, right?”

A few scenes later Cyan will recall his World of Ruin story...

Cyan: Yes...I once encouraged a girl who had lost the will to live after losing her lover. She looked so haggard...but when she talked about her memories of love, she looked lively and I felt relieved.

The FF6 Opera was more informative, so I just kinda ignored Cyan’s story, but it’s now time to mention it. Here’s Cyan’s letter:

Dear Lola,

I’m writing to beg for your forgiveness. I am guilty of perpetuating a terrible lie. I have only now realized the error of my ways, and taken up this quill in hopes of correcting a great wrong. Your boyfriend, who you believed to be in Mobliz, passed away some time ago. I have been writing to you in his stead. We humans have a tendency to become trapped in the past and refuse to move on. I implore you not to let this happen. Now is a time for you to look forward, and rediscover love and all of the other joys of life...

Cyan

The hint that this is “secretly” about Terra and the cut main character are the flowers surrounding the letter, since it’s clear that the “filling the world with flowers” dream was a original story element from FF6 involving Terra and the cut main character. It’s very easy to see, and I’m sure a lot of stuff in FF6 has this "missing main character storyline” rhetoric. It’s interesting that Cyan mentions the guy as being in Mobliz, since that’s where Terra’s World of Ruin story takes place and where you get the Fenrir esper, which I know was always supposed to be for Cloud (thanks to the similarities with Squall’s Griever).

At this point when FF6 was released, I don’t think they had any plans to “reunite” the main character and Terra (Square was struggling when they made FF7)...Nomura decided on that during FF7′s production as they were almost going to give Cloud a different love interest (it was an early form of Aerith). Nomura’s decision to instead put the original FF6 main character in the game as Cloud gave birth to Zack. The FF6 Opera does hint of the possibility of a reunion at the end of its translations, but the FF7 Remake makes it apparent that Terra’s not the one going to wait (”Hollow” lyrics are a good example).

This line Cyan says gives me “Loveless” vibes, and on that note, Crisis Core devs decided to specifically include the last line from Loveless’ ending (originally said by Cid at the end of OG FF7):

Went to see LOVELESS From: Kunsel

Contents:

Genesis, K.I.A? Yeah, right. Who do they think they're trying to fool? Just got back from seeing the stage production of LOVELESS in Midgar. Genesis was a big fan, wasn't he? I usually don't care for classic drama, but it was pretty damned good. The guy is the hero in the original, but the play was more from the viewpoint of the girl who helps the guy. When I heard that last line: "Of course... I'll come back to you. Even if you don't promise to wait. I'll return knowing that you'll be here." Aw, man, that's when I lost it and just started bawling. Received: After being promoted to 1st.

It’s surprising how many Final Fantasy games have this rhetoric, but it is in essence about Cloud and Terra or a product of what happened to them. Yet, despite all their hinting in a bucket-load of games, no one seems to “get the hint”.

By the way, when I put the bold over “The guy is the hero in the original”, I realized that many people take these story elements too literally. Sure, you can assume that Square-Enix is creating “new intriguing stories”, but this isn’t what’s happening. Why would they say “The guy is the hero in the original”? The original line literally came from the end of FF7 and had nothing to do with Genesis’ gibberish. It’s about Cloud and Terra, no joking, period.

#Clerra #FF6 #FF7 #FFVI #FFVII #Loveless #DFFOO #Opera Omnia #Terra Branford #Cyan Garamonde #Cloud Strife #World of Ruin

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tsarinatorment · 2 years

Note

I want to say that i honestly adore your fanfics, they are so lovely, with a proper dose of angst, and sometimes comfort and fluff 💌!!!!

I want to write my first fanfic, i am a bundle of nerves, how was it for you? Also, do you have any tips? For now i am aiming for a oneshot, but i would actually love to write multichapters in future (T_T)

Aah, thank you, anon!

I've been writing and posting fics for thirteen years (my first posted fanfic was September 2009) so I have to admit my memory is a little hazy on the exact emotions surrounding it, but let me see what I can dredge up.

It was a multichap. It's still up on both FFN and AO3 because I don't believe in taking down my old stuff - it's a document to how much I've improved over the years - although I consider it highly cringe-worthy and never look at it myself any more. I wrote the whole thing out on paper because I was only allowed to be on the computer for an hour a day back then and painstakingly typed it all up whenever I got the chance before posting it onto FFN.

The biggest thing I learned, posting that, was to write what I wanted. I had a really enthusiastic reader who kept throwing suggestions my way and I ended up changing my pre-written fic to follow all of their suggestions because I got too excited that someone liked it. Not only did that person disappear off the face of the earth before I finished the fic, I was actually left pretty unsatisfied with where it had gone by the time I was done with it. That's one of the reasons I don't re-read that fic.

So, tips: write what you want to. It's something I see around the internet a lot and it's absolutely correct: the best fics get written because you want to write that fic. When you write to please other people, it feels kinda hollow and empty after a while; there's instant gratification if the person who you're trying to please says they like it (and if they don't respond at all, you deflate like a lead balloon really fast), but in my experience, everything I've written to please someone else are the ones I like the least. In some cases, I wish I hadn't written them at all.

My best works, the ones I look back on and love months, years, later, are the ones I wrote for me. I share them online because I want to, and yes, it's always disappointing when I don't get any response from readers, but that story's worth isn't tied into external validation.

If you're casting about for ideas on what to write, there are options. Prompt lists exist, if you work well from prompts (I personally use prompts as short exercises most of the time). If there's a common trope you see but there's something slightly different about it - write that! If there's something you really want to read but you've scoured the archives and there's nothing there that scratches that itch - write that! Or if there's a common trope that you love and want to have a go at - there's nothing wrong with that, either! It doesn't matter if it's been written to death; if someone likes that trope, they will scour the archive looking for every single fic and devour all of them. As an author, I like twisting tropes/prompts etc., but as a reader, honestly I love reading the same thing written by many different people.

Also, for the first-time posters: remember that it won't be perfect. No matter how much you slave over the editing and reading and re-reading, there will be mistakes that you will not spot until you've posted it up for the world to see. Don't beat yourself up over them. Obviously, do your spellcheck, your grammar check - if you can handle it, get a beta (I, personally, cannot deal with people picking my stuff apart so I suck it up and do all my own editing, but for some people betas are a lifeline; you'll learn over time what works best for you). If it's riddled with errors, people won't read it, but they will forgive odd small things.

And really, it is scary throwing things out into the internet for people to look at. Even now, I get nervous about how people are going to react to my latest stuff, although in my case, it's now because I know I have a few people who do read everything I write, and I'm always worried about disappointing them, but to start with (and whenever I dip into a new fandom), it's the fear that I've broken some fandom taboo I didn't know about, the fear that I messed up a characterisation, that no-one will like it.

Things you can do to try and get the best reception: Tag correctly. If you tag it with a bunch of irrelevant characters/genres/tropes, all you're gonna do is irritate people. I don't know which fandom you found me through, anon, but in the Riordanverse fandom, mistagging is rife and I know it's infuriating a lot of people, so. This mostly applies for AO3 but is also applicable to tumblr:

Fandom: tag it. If it's a crossover, tag all of them. If it's part of a huge universe that has several subsects, tag the overall one (e.g. "Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Works") and then only the relevant subsect(s) (e.g. Heroes of Olympus).

Rating: AO3 gives useful guidelines for this; don't tag something as general audiences if it's got a lot of swearing, blood and injury, serious angst, nsfw, don't tag as explicit if it's completely soft and there's nothing at all, etc. It's mostly common sense, if in doubt always err to the higher rating because we're always better safe than sorry.

Warnings: Warnings are important. Sometimes, you don't want to warn for something that's a major plot twist (I do this sometimes), and in my personal view that's okay as long as you use "chose not to warn" on AO3 if it's an archive warning, or "additional warnings apply" if it's not. Never say there are no warnings at all if there's something you're trying to hide. If you don't know if an archive warning applies (I never know where the line is for violence), again, use "chose not to warn".

Relationships: Tag the major ones. If it's a oneshot, you can probably tag any that have any relevance, for multichaps I prefer to go minimalistic and only tag the relationships that are a main part of the story, like the ones that involve the main character(s). Remember / is romantic and & is platonic/familial. Don't mix them up!

Characters: Again, tag the major ones. For oneshots you can probably get away with any character who does something in the story. For multichaps, again, keep it minimal. A lot of authors don't do that but as a fan of generally minor, obscure characters, I find it hellish going through their tag, see them tagged on a fic, then realise that they have all of one line out of 100k words, and I know other readers who feel the same way. I'm still waiting for AO3 to add in a distinction between major characters and background characters... Regardless, if a character doesn't do anything in the fic, do not tag them.

Otherwise, just tag genres, tropes if you've used any - lots of fandoms have their own little trope tags so look around and see what gets used frequently. But don't tag wall it; people will skip over a tag walled fic. Trust me.

Titles and summaries suck to come up with, I'm well aware, and I'm not the right person to give advice on how to do those because after thirteen years I'm still clueless and hate those the most, but things to not include are: bad grammar, "fic is better than the summary" or other negative remarks about yourself/the summary, and begging people to read and/or comment. Those are the first thing people see - and if they don't like what they see, also the last thing people see as they scroll past.

But, really? Just have fun. Fandom is supposed to be fun. It's not a chore, it's not something any of us do because we have to. If you're not enjoying it, take a break. Do something else. It's nerve-wracking putting a little piece of you up on the internet, something you put time, effort, and love into, but it's connecting with other people. It's fun, it's a way to make friends with similar interests to yours.

This got long, so I'll leave it here for now; I hope this helped, anon, and good luck with your writing!

#Anonymous #fanfiction #i never expected to be asked for advice like this i hope i did okay

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tlcwrites · 3 years

Text

Fall to Pieces- Part 2

Poe Dameron x Reader, Modern AU

He tried and failed to swallow the lump in his throat. “I love you, sweetheart.” Your smile was watery and your voice soft. “I love you, Poe.” He tried not to think about how you didn’t mean your words the same way he did his.

Word Count: 5055

Tags/Warnings: Angst. Not as much as in Part 1, but a lot. But lots of fluff, too. And lots of bad language words. Probably a lot of typos, too. It's fucking hard to write past tense when you're used to present tense. If you notice any tense changes, could you pretty please message me because that's my pet peeve and I'm going to have nightmares I missed some.

Author’s Note: It's here! Part 2! I am absolutely bowled over by the response to Part 1; y'all are the fucking best. I have cackled with glee at every single reblog and comment and review, and I cannot possibly verbalize how much it means to me that so many of you are as invested in this crazy little AU as I am. I sincerely hope you enjoy where this is headed. I had to make one small edit to part 1, because I for some reason thought Shara Bey died when Poe was a teenager (canonically he's 8), and I featured her at The Riverside Picnic when Poe and Reader are 12 so, whoops. Whatever at least I didn’t write “somehow, palpatine has returned" in a multi-billion dollar film franchise. My military knowledge is also based on proximity and not experience, and my ANC knowledge even less, so even though I’ve researched as thoroughly as possible, please forgive any glaring factual errors. Thanks as always to my ride-or-die @paper-n-ashes for letting me ramble about plot arcs and for yelling at me when I get too stuck in my head. She's also the one who saved y'all from a brutal section of this chapter but really she didn't because she suggested posting it as a oneshot, and now it's even more brutal, so just remember it's all Sarah's fault. Dividers by @firefly-graphics.

Series Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 3

Age 6

There was a moving truck in the driveway of the house next door when he got home from school.

He’d heard his mom mention to his dad that someone had finally bought Mr. Kenobi’s house, which made him sad and happy at the same time. Sad, because he missed Mr. Kenobi, who would come over when Poe needed a babysitter, and who would always play as much Legos as Poe wanted.

But Poe was also happy, because his mom said the new neighbors had kids. And on the day he saw the moving truck, he was even more excited, because he could see a bike sitting next to the garage, and bikes that size meant kids his age. Or at least, he really, really, really hoped so.

He waved to Snap and Miss Norra, who waved back before they continued towards their house down the street, and clambered up the front steps. When he pushed open the door, the aroma of his grandmother’s signature cookies hit him like a wave, evoking memories of weekends spent sitting on the stool in her kitchen and munching on all sorts of deliciousness, as she baked and told him stories of her homeland- and swore in colorful Spanish. He followed the scent down the hallway towards the kitchen, where he dumped his backpack next to the door and stood on his tiptoes to see over the edge of the counter. “Are those Nana Bey’s polvorosas?”

“Hey hey hey, paws off, bud.” Kes was transferring the still-hot cookies from the baking sheet to the cooling rack. “These are for the new neighbors.”

“Just one? Please?” Poe schooled his face into his best feed-me-I’m-starving face, but his dad shook his head.

“Sorry, little man.” He gently bopped his son on the head with one of the oven mitts as he reached to return them to their hook. “But we can make more this weekend, ‘kay?”

No, not okay, Poe thought to himself, and when his dad crossed to the sink to wash the baking sheet, Poe stealthily reached for the cookie nearest him.

Kes didn’t even turn around from the sink. “Don’t even think about it.”

Poe, a mere fingertip away from the powder sugar coated deliciousness, slumped dejectedly. “Why do the neighbors get all the cookies?” he whined. Those were his Nana’s cookies, after all, and he definitely shouldn’t have to share them.

“Because we welcome new neighbors to the neighborhood,” Kes replied, “and in the Dameron house, that means cookies.”

Pouting, Poe dragged his feet over to the kitchen table, flopping heavily into one of the chairs. He was not excited about having new neighbors now.

“Poe!” Shara waved from the front hedge.

Poe glanced up from where he was docking his favorite spaceship in the drainpipe next to the garage (the tube was the perfect size to substitute for an airlock), and saw his parents talking to two grownups on the other side of the low shrubs, one of whom was holding a brown box tied with twine.

The cookie thieves.

Shara was gesturing him over, a look-at-my-beautiful-child-who-is-gonna-lose-the-Xbox-for-the-weekend-if-they-don’t-get-their-butt-over-here-right-now smile firmly in place. With all the hostility a six-year-old can muster, Poe dropped his toys and sulked across the yard, definitely not digging his toes into Kes’s meticulously maintained lawn in protest.

All four grownups smiled at his performance.

Shara affectionately smoothed his curls as he reached his parents. “This is our son, Poe.” She introduced the new neighbors, and he dutifully shook their hands.

“How old are you, Poe?” one of the grownups asked with a kind smile.

He puffed out his chest. “I’m six and two thirds.” He’d double checked the big calendar last week to be sure.

The grownups made that face that meant they thought he was absolutely precious (grownups were so weird), and the one holding the stolen cookies gestured towards their new house. “How perfect is that? We know a six-year-old who I bet would love to be your friend!”

Poe perked up. Please let him like soccer, please let him like soccer...

The same grownup called your name, and Poe couldn’t help the way his nose wrinkled.

Ugh. A girl. Great.

Then you popped up from behind the railing of the porch.

Poe wasn’t sure what emotion suddenly engulfed him; his skin felt too tight, and his mouth had gone dry as chalk. His heart was having a parade inside his chest, beating so loudly that he was sure it was audible from outside his body.

You skipped down the steps, the braids in your hair swinging as you crossed the yard. You pressed yourself against your mom’s hip as she introduced you to the elder Damerons.

“And this is Poe.” Your mom announced him with that kind of voice that meant the grownups knew something the kids didn’t. Poe hated that voice. He didn’t like not knowing things.

But he liked your smile. It radiated joy, even presented as shyly as it was.

He wanted to do whatever would keep you smiling like that.

“Hi,” you chirped. “You wanna play space with me?”

And he realized you were holding the same spaceship he’d just been playing with.

He was nodding before his brain could recognize the movement.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, having a girl for a friend, if she liked spaceships, too.

...maybe she even liked soccer.

Age 11

“I don’t want to.” Poe’s chin was set in that way that meant stubborn defiance. You knew better than to try to change his mind when he got that look.

His dad, however, did not.

“You don’t have a choice,” Kes informed him, shrugging on his jacket and heading towards the garage. “We’re leaving in ten minutes. You both need to be ready then.”

“We’ll be ready.” Smoothly interjecting, you discreetly yanked Poe backwards before he could pop off and land himself in even hotter water. The look he sent your way was one of complete and utter betrayal, but the one you sent back said ‘shut up if you want to walk out of here without being grounded’.

Wisely, he bit his tongue until his dad had left the room. Then, he wheeled on you. “Why didn’t you back me up?!”

“Because it’s not up to me?” You rolled your eyes at his impertinent look. “It’s not, you idiot, and you know it. What am I gonna say? ‘Sorry, Mr. Dameron, Poe and I aren’t going to go visit Miss Shara’s grave with you today, even though it’s her birthday and-’”

“It’s not her birthday,” Poe snapped.

His vehemence made you blink. “Yes, it-”

“You have to be alive to have a birthday.” He pulled his beanie out of his pocket. It was the one you gave him last Christmas. It was orange and black, his favorite colors. It was his favorite hat, because it was from you. He yanked it on his head at the same time he shoved his feet into his boots. “She can’t have a birthday anymore, because she’s dead.”

You have no response to that. What could possibly be said?

Poe sniffed and shoved a fist across his cheek, ignoring the sharp prickling at his waterline. “I hate that he makes us go ‘visit’ her. We’re not visiting her. She’s not there. It’s just a rock on the ground, but he acts like she can hear us and see us. But she can’t, because she’s dead, and we all know she’s dead, and pretending she’s still there doesn’t- it can’t bring her back, and-” His breath started coming in gasps as he desperately tried to hang on to his anger. Anger hurt less. “She- she left me, and she can’t come back, and- and-”

You caught him as he went to his knees, and he curled into you, sobbing his anguish against your neck. He could feel your own tears on his cheek.

“It’s been three years.” His voice cracked. “Why does it still hurt so bad?”

You didn’t answer, because there wasn’t one to give.

Later, at the cemetery, Poe gripped your hand tightly the whole way back to the car. No one needed to know he’d hugged his mother’s gravestone and cried, the same way he would cry on her shoulder as she held him in her arms.

Just because she was gone didn’t mean he didn’t miss her every second of every day.

Age 18

“Oh my god, staaaawp.” You swatted Karé’s hands away from your hair. “It’s fine!”

Poe, sitting on the other side of the kitchen island, smothered his grin.

“You look like you were in a bar fight, please just let me fix that one piece,” Karé bargained, but you ducked away, and took refuge behind Poe.

He held up his hands as you gripped the back of his tux jacket like a shield. “Hey! Innocent bystander!”

Snap guffawed. “Innocent?” He tossed you the ice pack he’d pulled from the freezer. “Instigator, you mean.”

“I did not instigate,” Poe protested as you wrapped a towel around the ice and shoved it towards his face.

“You gave Tritt Opan a deviated septum and a black eye.” Ben’s dry observation was negated by the amusement in his eyes. “Pretty sure that’s considered ‘instigating’.”

“Looked to me like Tritt was- no, you noodle, it doesn’t do anything if you don’t keep it there-” You forced Poe to actually put the ice on his swollen lip before you looked back at Ben. “Looked like Tritt was drunk and accidentally ran into that door.” Your theatrical sigh made Poe smile behind the pack. “It was so sad to watch. Wasn’t it sad, Alex?”

“So sad.” Alexys fluttered her eyelashes up at Ben. “All kinds of sad.”

“And Artemisia of Caria over there?” He asked her, jerking his head towards you. “I suppose it’s a total coincidence that Tritt has a shoe print on his ass that exactly matches the tread of her heels?”

“Total coincidence,” Jessika, perched on the counter, replied with zero hesitation. “Also, kinky.”

“There’s no way it’s her shoe print.” Using your distraction with Poe to her advantage, Karé gave a cry of victory as she finally managed to pin back the last of your errant locks, before laughing as you flapped your hands to shoo her away. “You know, since she was obviously with us in the bathroom,” she continued, “and therefore couldn’t possibly have booted that prick into the vending machine.” “Really, since we’re girls and therefore incapable of using the toilet alone-” Jessika snorted as she watched you shove the ice pack back against Poe’s face and ignored his muffled “ow?!’, “Our alibis are airtight, and clearly none of us could have been involved in showing that dipshit why he doesn’t mess with Black Squadron.”

“Amen to that.” Snap dropped into the chair next to Karé.

Alexys looked up at her boyfriend. “You know that anyone who doesn’t know it’s the name of the soccer team is going to think y’all are in a gang or something, right?” “It’s intentional.” Ben tucked her closer against his side and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. “You don’t actually need to carry the biggest stick if everyone thinks you’re carrying the biggest stick.”

“Furthermore-” Karé brandished her Twizzler like said biggest stick. “-even if anyone in this room had, say, kicked that fucker’s ass-”

“Literally,” Snap added, and exchanged a long distance high five with you. “-and then if anyone else had punched that fucker into next week-”

“Hypothetically?” Ben inquired drolly, and Poe raised his ice pack in salute.

Karé tipped her metaphorical hat to him. “Of course; even then, they wouldn’t be at fault, because-”

“-because that little shit has been cruisin for a bruisin since freshman year when he snapped Pammich’s bra strap so hard it broke,” you muttered under your breath, and Poe had to resist the urge to reach for your hand.

“Because,” Karé repeated at a slightly higher volume, “we all saw him swing at Poe first, and Poe can’t possibly be considered at fault for defending himself.” After a moment to absorb Karé’s reasoning, Poe himself cheekily piped, “Wait, how’d you all see him come at me if you were in the bathroom?”

A collective groan went up as he laughed, and you lovingly smacked him upside the head on behalf of the group. “Some prom, right?” Snap quipped at Ben.

As your friends relaxed into the friendly banter that was the hallmark of the close-knit group, you sat next to Poe and used examining his injuries as cover. “You’re not going to tell Ben what Tritt said, right?” you murmured so low there was no chance anyone but Poe could have heard you. “You know he’d do something stupid.”

“Of course I won’t.” Poe Dameron was many things, but fiercely protective of his friends was at the top of that list. He would defend any of them to the teeth, Ben especially. No one deserved to go through what Ben had gone through. Ben never needed to hear the bile Tritt had spewed about Ben’s grandfather, Ben's uncle, and Ben’s mother. The smears against the Senator were stupid at best and easily-disproven at worst, and who cared about Pastor Skywalker, but the insinuation that Ben was anything like his grandfather, especially given the abuse Ben had suffered…

If you hadn’t sent Tritt flying with that kick, Poe might have gone a lot further than a broken nose and a black eye. Thank goodness the two of you had been the only ones to hear the insults, or the entire team would have ended up suspended.

No one got to hurt their Ben and get away with it.

Snap’s voice jerked Poe out of his ruminations. “Okay, I can't take it anymore. We’ve gone all night; is no one gonna ask the question?” He pointed at you. “C’mon Miss Hey-Poe-Let’s-Go-To-Prom-As-Friends. When are you and you-” he clapped Poe’s shoulder, “-gonna finally admit that this “we’re just best friends” crap is 100%, grade-A bullshit?”

Poe’s heart leapt in his chest, but you didn’t notice, and instead pelted Snap with pieces of popcorn. “Never, you dingus, because we are just best friends.”

The split in his lip throbbed as Poe forced himself to echo your grin. “Yep,” he said, “just best friends.”

Age 21

“Salmeterol is long acting, albuterol is short acting.” You tossed the beanbag back to Poe.

He deftly caught it and flipped to the next card. “Actions, use, serious side effects and specific nursing measures for administration of ondansetron.”

He lobbed the beanbag back to you.

“It’s.. fuck.” You dropped your head onto the counter. “I’m going to fail.”

“You’re not going to fail.” Poe snagged your last fry, then shielded himself when you threw a napkin at him in retaliation. “You jump, I jump, remember?”

You snorted in response. “I am never letting you watch that movie again.”

“I’ll never let go,” he crooned, before yelping as you threw the beanbag that time. “Escalating violence! It’s a pattern!”

“I have no idea why I tolerate you.” Your words might have been harsh, but the doting smile on your face clearly negated them.

He had no idea either, but fuck, he didn’t know what he’d do if you didn’t.

What he said was “Because of my roguish charm. And my cute butt.”

That won the laugh he was going for.

As she walked past with another order, Patty smoothly slid another basket of fries between the two of you, winking conspiratorially. “My contribution to the study efforts.”

“You’re the best, Miss Patty,” you praised her, while Poe shoved a handful into his mouth.

“Okay,” he announced around his mouthful of fries, tossing the beanbag back to you, “The actions, use, serious side effects and specific nursing measures for administration of ondansetron.”

Your anxious sigh had him looking back up, frowning as he watched you shift the beanbag unconsciously between your fists.

“Hey.” He swallowed the last of the fries, and stilled your motion by covering your hands with his. “It’s gonna be okay, alright? I’ve got you.”

Uncharacteristically, at least with him, your smile was shy. It took him back to that first time he’d seen you, half-hiding behind your mother’s leg. “Always?”

“Always.” It’s a vow he’d die before breaking.

Age 23

He hated seeing you like this. You were clearly trying not to cry, putting on a brave face that likely fooled everyone but him. Other than the several weeks he was at BLC, it was going to be the first significant stretch of time the two of you had ever spent apart.

He watched you over his dad’s shoulder as Kes hugged him tightly, giving his dad the signature Poe Dameron cocky grin as they separated. “Love you, Pop.”

“Love you, Poe.” Kes affectionately squeezed his son’s shoulders before he let go. “Be safe.”

Poe nodded. “Mom would kick my ass if I wasn’t.”

Kes chuckled. “She would.” He nodded to himself, before gently tapping the “Dameron” printed on the right side of Poe’s fatigues. “She’ll be keeping an eye on you.”

“I promise not to piss her off.”

“See that you don’t,” Kes agreed with a genuine laugh, trailing off as he looked somewhere beyond Poe’s shoulder. “She’s proud of you, wherever she is. Just like I am.”

Fuck. Poe felt the hot rise of tears as his dad clapped him on the shoulder, stepping back and murmuring something about getting the car.

As his dad headed towards the exit, Poe surreptitiously wiped at his eyes, feeling you slide your hand into his. “Sorry.”

“For what?” You smiled, even though it was clearly forced. “God forbid you have emotions the day you’re-” You tried again. “When-”

Your face crumpled before you stepped into the protective circle of Poe’s arms, fisting the front of his jacket as you wept silently against his shoulder. He dropped his head to yours, burying his face in the crook of your neck and breathing you in as deep as he could, so he could carry you with him to the desert in his lungs as well as his heart.

You both had red-rimmed eyes when you finally stepped away. He tried to ignore the racing of his heart when you didn't drop his hand.

"Ben's flying out tomorrow?" you asked.

Poe nodded, drinking you in. It wasn't like he didn't know every freckle, but if this was the last time he was going to see you, possibly- he shut his thoughts down. "Yeah, he'll-" He broke off and frowned. "I can't tell you anymore."

"I know," you reassured him. "It's okay."

Neither of you made any motion to go, even as the CO started calling the troops to attention.

“You stay safe, or I’m coming over there to kick your ass,” you told him, gripping his hand as if you held on hard enough you could keep him from getting on the plane.

God, he didn’t want to get on the plane. “I know you would,” he teased. “And I promise you won’t have to.” Standing in the middle of that airport, your cheeks wet with tears, he knew he had never and would never see anyone or anything as beautiful to him as you. He attempted and failed to swallow the lump in his throat. “I love you, sweetheart.”

Your smile was watery and your voice soft. “I love you, Poe.”

He tried not to think about how you didn’t mean your words the same way he did his.

Age 26

Fuck. He was so, so fucking glad to be home.

Stepping off the escalator, Poe looked around the mele. The terminal was filled with loved ones reuniting, and the joy in the air walked hand in hand with the relief of being afforded such a reunion instead of a visit from an officer and a chaplain.

Poe craned his neck to try to find his dad in the midst of the chaos, but before he could spot him, he heard his name cried by a voice he’d know no matter if he was gone three years or three decades.

“Poe!”

He had half a second to drop his bag before you leapt into his arms, a warm, crying missile of emotion that made him grunt with the force of your impact, and made his heart spring back to life in his chest. Just as you had when he’d left, you cried against his shoulder, but this time, the tears were of joy. And as you held on to him like he’d vanish if you let go, he couldn’t help squeezing you back with just as much ferocious love and relief and the purest fucking happiness he could remember feeling in a long, long time.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me today was when you were coming back?” you scolded with your face still buried against his neck. The disparity of your clinging to him like a koala with the hurt and anger in your voice would have been alarming in anyone else. But you hadn’t been apart long enough for Poe to have forgotten how well you could ‘multitask your feelings’, as you’d once described. “I had to hear it from your dad?!”

“I wasn’t sure I’d be on this flight,” he replied casually, reminding himself of the scent of your hair with as subtle of a breath as he could manage. Then he yanked himself back to reality and wrestled his feelings back under control with the same determination that he always had. But his contrition was sincere. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“S’okay.” You raised your head to give him a watery smile. “But don’t you do it again, Lieutenant Dameron.”

Fuck, your smile. He’d lost count of how many times he’d imagined that smile over there, when the days seemed endless and he couldn’t remember why the fuck he’d signed up to be flung half a world away from you.

“Never, ever again,” he promised. He went to set you back on your feet, and grinned when you refused to let go. Like he’d ever turn down physical contact with you. “Challenge accepted.”

Your shriek when he hefted you higher, and the ensuing epithets heaped on his head as he strode out of the terminal with his duffle over one shoulder and you over the older, would be something he’d treasure until the day he died, he was sure of it.

Age 28

“Did you see?” Rey dropped into the chair across to Poe, grabbing the muffin from the napkin in front of him and taking a huge, chomping bite.

Poe blinked at her over the edge of his book. “Good morning, Rey. Please, help yourself to my breakfast. Would you like some of my coffee to go with waitaminute nonono paws off!” He snatched the peppermint mocha away when she nodded and went to grab it. “Thou shalt not steal the blessed bean juice! And did I see what?”

“Who, ” Finn supplied, heading to the break room coffee maker for some blessed bean juice of his own. “There’s a new anesthesiologist in L&D. Alex sent Ben a picture.”

“He is fiiine,” Rey sang, in between polishing off the rest of Poe’s muffin.

Finn gave her A Look over the rim of his mug. “You are married.”

“So? I’m not dead.” She winked at Poe. “And Jannah thinks he’s hot, too. Spousal cosign.”

“When did Alex meet him?” Poe asked, unsure why there was a pit growing in his stomach.

Rey was tapping on her phone. “C-section yesterday. Here-” she slid the device across the table top towards Poe. “Holdo sure moved fast getting someone in here after Dr. Antilles retired.”

Finn and Rey continued to talk over his head about the new doctor (first in his class at Johns Hopkins, residency at Mass General, 12 years at Stanford, possible inventor of sliced bread, jury was still out), but Poe was trying not to bite through his cheek as he examined the picture. Alex had clearly snapped it covertly, so it was the slightest bit blurry, but it was clear enough to see the new doctor was as handsome as Rey claimed. Poe was secure enough in his sexuality to be able to admit it. But what had his stomach in knots was that in the picture, the doctor- Yeager, Rey supplied- was leaning against the counter of the L&D nursing station, talking to you.

And you were smiling up at him in a way that you’d only ever smiled at Poe.

Age 30

“Is it okay if we do the farmer’s market on Sunday instead of Saturday?” you asked, stealing the cherry from the top of Poe’s milkshake.

“Excuse you! I’m confiscating your pie for that,” Poe mockingly admonished, stabbing his fork into your dessert as you laughed and tried to shield the plate. “But yeah, that’s fine. Why?” he asked around a mouthful of apple and cinnamon. “Your mom coming down?”

You shook your head as you swallowed a bite. “No, Jarek asked me to go with him to the Chihuly exhibit at the Gardner.”

Poe nearly dented his fork with how hard he clenched his fist. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” You were reaching for your water, and thankfully missed his reaction. “He said he was supposed to go with a friend who had to cancel, and he’d heard I love Chihuly.” Poe resolved to cheerfully murder whomever had been the one to impart that particular tidbit.

Oblivious to his irritation, you waved at Miss Patty as she came out of the kitchen before turning back to Poe. “Anyway, you know he lost his family years ago, right?”

Grinding his molars, Poe managed to nod. Everyone knew about the accident that had claimed the life of Dr Yeager’s family. Poe honestly felt for the guy; he couldn’t even make himself imagine what it would be like if he lost you. But the tragedy had somehow added to Yeager’s distinguished allure, and he’d become even more popular among the staff. And it didn’t help that the good doc was both skilled at his job and a really nice guy.

Fucker, Poe thought to himself.

Because Jarek Yeager genuinely was a good guy. He was exactly the kind of man Poe would have hoped you’d end up with: kind, smart, hardworking, clearly knew a good thing when he saw it, since he was into you. He was the kind of man who was deserving of your own kindness, who would appreciate your sense of humor, who would take care of you and love you the way you deserved.

Who didn’t wake up in the middle of the night, thinking he was back in the middle of a war, held captive by his own memories.

And even though the thought of it made him want to be sick, Poe loved you too much to deprive you of someone like that.

If he couldn’t be that person for you, he was glad it might be someone like Yeager.

“Risha was saying it’s almost the anniversary of the accident, and I guess he always tries to stay busy around that time, so I thought it would be nice to keep him company. I wouldn't want to be alone.” You shrugged. “Plus, free dinner after.”

Poe tried to distract himself from his building dread by draining half of his milkshake, thankful for the resulting brain freeze, which was frankly misnamed because it did nothing to freeze his thoughts. “...you like the guy?”

You seemed surprised by his question. “I mean, yeah? He’s really nice. I enjoy working with him.”

“Handsome, too,” Poe supplied.

“Are you-” You’re looking at him with something akin to mirth. “Poe Dameron, are you jealous?”

“What?!” Poe covered his panic with a sharp bark of laughter. “Jealous of who? Yeager? Not at all.” He winked at you with every bit of Dameron charm he could muster. “I’m just keeping an eye out. Gotta defend your honor and all that.”

“My honor?” You snorted. “I’m gonna smack you.”

“It’s in the official best friend handbook. Rule 30, subsection 5, footnote down at the bottom.” He raised his hands in surrender. “It’s out of my hands.”

He tried not to preen as you giggled. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Your idiot. What does that say about your judgement?” He smirked, but couldn’t maintain his joviality. “Seriously, though,” he admitted, uncharacteristically somber. “You’ve been my best friend my whole life. Of course I’m gonna be protective of you.”

“I know,” you smiled. “And I love you for it.”

But not the way Poe wished you did.

You both hesitated for a moment.

“Did you-”

“I had-”

Laughter bloomed as you both tried to speak at once.

You gestured to Poe. “Go ahead.”

He gestured right back. “No, ladies first.”

Your smile faded into something wistful. “Did I ever tell you my parents always thought you and I would end up together?”

“What?” His heart started racing in his chest and he tried to sound glib. “Why?”

“Cause it’s us. You’ve been my best friend my whole life,” you quoted his own words back to him. “You know me better than anyone else on the planet.”

He tried to keep his face schooled into something not resembling the hope he hardly dared to acknowledge. “I mean, you’re not wrong.”

“...have you ever thought about it?” Your voice was soft, and for the first time in almost two and a half decades of friendship, he couldn’t quite tell what you were thinking. It was unsettling.

“Thought about us?” His mouth was so dry it was a sand worm away from being a desert. When you nodded, he swallowed hard.

Only every single moment of every single day since I met you, he wanted to say.

Could he be that brave?

He opened his mouth to answer, but at that moment, there was a crash as a waitress dropped a tray with a table’s worth of orders on it, and he snapped his jaw shut as you turned to look.

He couldn't do it.

When the din had settled, you glanced back to him. “What were we talking about?”

Firmly ignoring his crumbling heart, Poe cleared his throat. “Yeah, Sunday’s good for the market. I’ll grab the coffee on my way.”

Series Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 3

A/N: I have not gotten beyond the first episode of Resistance, so my knowledge of Jarek Yeager is based on what I gathered from online research and what little analysis my husband would give me ("He's cool, what else do you need to know?"), so I'm sure my interpretation is going to be wildly OOC. And if you caught the reference, Alexys and Risha appear courtesy of @paper-n-ashes from her epic space love triangle Sparks and Embers, and any similarity to any of her characters, living or living, is coincidentally on purpose.

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m-aster-of-spinjitzu · 3 years

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Akita and Zane talk after the battle in 'Awakenings'. The conversation... doesn't go as either of them expect.

Prompt: memories, from @ninjago-bingo‘s warm board:D

Trigger warnings: implied self harm (one or two characters dig their fingernails into their hands), discussion and introspection about most of the crimes the 'Emperor' committed, a lot of talk and introspection about murder.

Word count: 4682 (I've literally been writing this for like a month lol, kinda disappointed it ended up fairly short:/)

"We have to talk."

The girl with red markings on her face - Akita, he heard Lloyd call her - unsheathes her short dagger, eyes narrowed to slits.

He glances around the throne room, hands pressed to his head. The memories were still trickling through; strange islands and a forest of snow, a dungeon and... a noodle factory?

"Alright," he says quietly. She bears the same red marks of the bear he can remember Vex convincing him was a criminal, many winters ago. That could only mean-

It wasn't you, he reminds himself. It was the scroll, and the actions of a power hungry traitor.

You gave the order, his now infallible memory supplies, and, honestly, he has no rebuttal for that.

"Alright," he echoes meekly, trying to muster some emotion into his voice. "I know-"

"No," she cuts him off roughly, her eyes scanning the room. It is just the two of them now - the samurai had fled once they had recovered from the strange trance he had put them in. Vex had been locked in the dungeon by Lloyd, who was helping any of the samurai who could not quite remember their old lives.

He had ruled for sixty years. Some of their families might dead, some by their own hands.

They know this. He knows this.

Irrationally, he wishes there was some way to fix this. A spell, or a way to turn back the clock; some way to yell at a younger Zane to just scout the cave-

There is no way backward; only forward, out of this winter - and, possibly, into another one.

He stares at the girl in front of him, taking in her tattered clothing, the ease with which she holds her weapon. She's not afraid to fight.

"I don't owe you an explanation, Emperor," Akita says definitely, forcing out the words. "But you will give me one, or you shall never see the light of day again. My brother-"

His heart lurches, eyes widening. Brother.

"Knows that the dungeon has many empty cells," she finishes sharply, barely contained anger flashing in her eyes.

He keeps the facts brief, concise. Once this is all over, he can dwell on them - agonize over what he should have done; use it to be better next time. Atone for his mistakes, even if he can never truly make up for them.

"A snake capable of sorcery used a magic scepter to blast me and a vehicle to this realm. I was sent here sixty years into the past, which is why it took my friends so long to find me. I was also holding a similar magic scepter - one which amplifies the holder's power, but if held for too long, it corrupts one's mind."

"I know what happens next."

How-

"I watched your message to your friends," she replies curtly, by way of explanation. "I did not know that you and the Emperor were one and the same. Continue."

"Vex interrupted a process I was using to try and fix a- vehicle, which caused me to lose my memories. He told me that I was ill. He said that he was a great friend of mine, and that this realm belonged to me. He convinced me that Formlings were warmongers, and that the rightful king had overthrown me. Just before he almost killed Lloyd, he said something that caused my memories to return."

She frowns. "I do not understand. How does one lose their memories so easily?"

Akita stares at his metal skin, her eyes widening as if noticing it for the first time.

"I am not quite like you-"

"I know," she interjects, eyes brimming with anger. "I am not a murderer."

"I was... created," he replies, quietly. "Out of extra materials. I can act like others, but I do not always understand emotions in the same way."

Akita frowns again, raising her dagger. Her voice grows a dangerous edge; sharp and cold. "You never realized that your actions were wrong?"

They're entering dangerous territory. Some part of him wants to derail the conversation; stick to the facts and leave his emotions out of this.

But he owes her an explanation - he owes everyone an explanation. He owes them so much more, if only he could give it to them; erase the past and leave their quiet realm in peace.

"Before I came here, I would never have done such things - if I had my memories, I would never have done such things. Vex convinced me that they were the only way I could defend my throne. I did not know that they were wrong. The moment I realized what I had done, I tried to help your side. The right side," he finishes, ignoring the temptation to stare down at the floor instead of into her blazing eyes.

An indecipherable expression crosses her face. "You never talked to another? One of your... army, perhaps?" "Vex gave all the orders. He just asked me for approval. I never left this room." "And you approved them," she muttered, but it seemed to serve more as a reminder to herself than it did to him.

"What was your life like, before you entered our world?" Akita asks suddenly, suspicion still coating her voice. He blinks, the question unexpected.

"My friends and I can control and create different elements," he began, hesitantly. Carefully. "We were taught to fight. We protect our city from those-" "You were built to protect those who cannot protect themselves."

"Those who cannot protect themselves," Zane finishes, guilt making his vision hazy.

He quickly blinks away the tears, all too aware of her persistent gaze.

"Two more questions," she says quickly, glancing behind her. "This room makes me uncomfortable. And so do you." The accusation is clear, but her eyes are not quite as cold as they had been earlier.

"What do you feel now?" Akita asks roughly, taking a step back. "You mentioned earlier that you do not feel emotions the same way that we do. Explain."

I could lie, he thinks, fleetingly. What if my feelings convince her that I am the Emperor even more than I am Zane? A voice at the back of his mind points out that he is - was - the Emperor.

He knows this.

He knows that he will have to acknowledge it once they are back home.

He knows that he cannot dwell on it now, or the winter will go on - inside his mind instead of outside it.

"I feel... guilt," he begins. "For the terrible crimes I have committed. Horror, at my own actions. Anger, towards that traitor. Relief - that I am no longer under his influence." An eyebrow touches her forehead, ever so slightly.

"How guilty?" It is almost a challenge, her voice rising in pitch threateningly.

"I will spend the rest of my life working to atone for my mistakes," Zane answers sincerely, resisting the irrational urge to squeeze his eyes shut. "However, I know that nothing I can do will ever undo them. But I can help others from people who- who... seek to manipulate them," he finishes quietly, a remorseful sigh punctuating the confession.

Akita says nothing; lips pressed in a hard line. Her blank, steadfast gaze meets his. The dagger clatters to the ground.

He draws in a breath sharply.

Picking it up, she squares her shoulders defiantly. "My people will know that... that there were two prisoners within these walls," she sighs, the weariness in her voice all too evident.

Yet he does not miss her glare; a barely contained anger that lurks just beneath the surface.

Akita straightens her spine, frowning menacingly as her hand tightens on the dagger.

He resists the irrational urge to take a step back.

"My brother and I will never forgive you," she snarls.

You do not have to, he would like to say. But he suspects that she already knows this.

"Come near either of us again, and I will make you long for death."

She shifts to her wolf form, baring her teeth - but when she stalks closer, he does not back away.

Suddenly, he is all-too-aware of the fact that the throne room is currently empty - bar the two of them.

He does not move.

It is not as if she could harm him - titanium is not easily damaged (yet, some part of him wonders if that is a blessing or curse), but they have faced enough villains for him to know how it works.

The villains die at the end; rightfully so.

Why should this be any different?

"You will pay for your crimes," Akita growls, shifting between her forms as if it is second nature. It probably is. "Emperor."

Her dagger clatters to the ground once again.

He does not move.

Why should this be any different?

---

"What's taking her so long?"

"Who?" The Samurai asks, the confusion on his face only amplifying.

"No- nothing," he mumbles, wincing. The adrenaline is wearing off - and with it, the fleeting distraction from the pain coursing through his chest.

Broken ribs? Probably. But he's got bigger problems to worry about - his minor injuries don't really matter when there's a warrior (because after all that she's been through, he thinks that she deserves the title - even if it's one she would never have wanted) seeking vengeance, someone who could tear apart this castle, brick by brick if she wanted to, alone with his brother.

His brother - who'd taken hers; encased her village in a tomb of ice, leaving behind no one but a teenager consumed with blinding anger - rightfully so, he admits, a bit wearily.

What happened to you, Zane?

Are you even... there? The person who used to stay awake with me when all I saw was the building crumbling before my eyes, night after night? The one who swore to protect those who couldn't protect themselves?

Are you still there?

"Can I, er, go inside?" he asks no one, trying not to breathe too hard. The Ice Samurai he'd been trying to help had vanished, most probably to try and get answers from someone else.

He owes it to these people to help them - if he'd just been faster, stronger, better, Aspheera could never have-

Not now, Lloyd!

He should probably open the doors - try and diffuse whatever fight they'd gotten into. Akita reminds him of Kai; both of them fiercely protective of those whom they care about, yet sometimes clouded by rage so thick they can barely see out of it.

But he's hesitating - there's always the possibility that her anger; prison of its own, might extend to him.

Not that he even has the right to condemn her for it, though.

Unwillingly, a fleeting thought presses itself to the forefront of his mind; beautiful white hair, a soft voice coated in honey-

Broken ribs, he reminds himself stubbornly, grimacing at the flare of pain as he draws in a breath sharply. She's gone, she's gone, and it's-

He bites his lip until the tang of iron fills his mouth, eyes fixed determinedly on the floor.

Not now, Lloyd!

Slowly, carefully, he pushes the door open. It creaks softly - but he doesn't think anyone hears it.

Oh, no.

---

"Akita?" a voice questions, hesitantly. He's half-leaning against the door, blonde hair almost completely hiding wary eyes all but squeezed shut in pain.

She stiffens, ignoring the part of her that learns to hunt, murder, the- the monster-

Blinking, quickly, she allows her mind to embrace the sharp, cold air on her fur, and her harsh, ragged breathing - until she can almost feel the shift in her heart, trading instinct for a different type of clarity, white fur for skin and hair.

Grabbing her dagger, she halfheartedly swipes it at the boy who makes her cheeks redder than they usually are, the boy who travelled across the ice seeking a murderer-

Well. He is in no condition to help anyone - they both know this.

But he does not have the right to interfere with this conversation - her feelings do not matter when his friend is-

"Leave us," she snarls, fingers digging into the hilt of her dagger. "What makes you think you have the right?"

Her voice grows colder, but she can't quite keep the tremor out of it.

"You did not find your village half-dead, or spend months mourning your brother," Akita snaps, frustration seeping into the words. Why does he always have to make everything so complicated?

"I know," he replies, hesitantly, eyes flitting between the room and the door. "But... this isn't the right thing to do, Akita."

"Do you think it was right for your friend to seize power from our rightful ruler? Do you think he was right when he imprisoned an innocent child for so many years?"

She doesn't bother to keep the venom out of her voice, ignoring the fact that the light brown of her skin has almost faded to white where she grips her weapon.

Taking a step closer, she bites her lip.

If he will make this his fight, so will she.

"The girl I told you about," Lloyd interjects. "H- Harumi." He forces out the name, as if the very mention of it ails him.

She raises her eyebrows. "What are you going to do? Distract me with stories about your girlfriend while he," Akita glares at the Emperor with a sigh, "escapes?"

"No," he replies softly. Brushing the hair out of his eyes, she doesn't miss his poorly concealed wince.

This is the friend he seeks?

There's a fragile silence, one of which she refuses to shatter. Nothing he can say will erase the horrific actions of this- this power-hungry ruler who has abused the gift he has been given; persecuted their lands, and forced innocents into lives ruled by fear and hatred.

"I- er-" Lloyd starts, visibly uncomfortable with saying... whatever it is he is trying to say.

She does not interrupt, but does not take her eyes off the Emperor, either. He has not moved or even contributed to their exchange yet.

Good, she thinks fervently. She does not need to force herself to try and feel sympathy for a man she has hated for so many long winters, one who has taken a piece of her heart and locked it away in a tiny prison cell.

"Did I ever tell you that- that... I watched her die?" he asks, aiming for a casual tone.

The hurt subconsciously laced into it makes something in her heart twist, as if it had been pierced by a shard of glass.

Outwardly, she does nothing more than raise an eyebrow.

For all the days they have spent trekking across the ice together, it suddenly dawns on her how little she actually knows about him.

"No," she replies carefully, dragging out the word. "Why?" "She-"

Akita can almost see his internal struggle - anger and fear and indecision and something she can't quite place her finger on meshing into another thing entirely.

"She- tried to murder," Lloyd flinches at the word, nails digging into his palms, "my friends. And I was forced to watch, helpless," he whispers, so softly that she has to strain to hear it.

"But when she- she died in a crumbling building, I- was... the one who caused it to fall."

"Your point?" she snaps; voice as sharp as her blade. He is the only thing standing between her and the Emperor; between the growing hatred she had allowed to fester for all this time, because one day she would finally make him pay-

Her friend visibly winces.

Too late does she realize her mistake, a fact that leaves her a bit sick to the stomach.

That's nothing compared to the bout of nausea that accompanies another realization, juts a second later.

How could I let my anger hurt another - one who did not deserve to receive it? Am I truly any better than the one whom I have condemned?

Well. The logical side of her mind points out that it is her choice to forgive, for such unforgivable acts; that the anger that had doused everything in its hue, every day, was to be expected-

"I apologize... for my conduct," she says quickly, forcing herself to meet his eyes. "You have never hurt me. I did not mean to hurt you." "It's okay- this- this isn't my fight anyway," Lloyd replies quickly, fingers wrapped around the door handle - but she doesn't even think he's aware of the fact. "I just- I just wanted to share something with you, something I wish someone would've shared with me, because-" He's rambling, words practically coated in a jumble of shaky nerves. "What is it?" Akita asks softly, losing a little of the stiffness in her tone.

"Murder- it isn't right," he repeats, hands pressed to his forehead. "But... it'll hurt you more than it will anyone else. I can't go a week without seeing her fall in my dreams, over and over again. I should've been glad, I guess... she'd hurt my friends and I so many times. But- but I'm the one with the nightmares, and all this- guilt. And I care- I care you, Akita. I know that I'll never understand how you've been hurt by- by the Emperor... just, think about how it'll affect you." Akita's eyes widen incredulously, but he's not done. "Just- don't let someone else make you hurt yourself." His voice is about a pitch higher than normal, but neither of them really register it. "Sometimes, the best kind of revenge is refusing..." Lloyd trails off, his eyes squeezed shut (a second later, he opens them again, blinking profusely), "to let anyone... make you hurt them."

Irrationally, she wants to break something.

That advice offers... an entirely new perspective. One that she had never thought of.

One that is- is unwanted, she insists fervently.

And now his fingers are pressing into his hands again, so tightly that she almost wants to yell - stop it, idiot, you're hurting yourself! - at him. "Because... it might haunt you lot more. And if they- they- really want to hurt you?" Both of them ignore the erratic, painful looking way his breathing starts to hitch just then.

"Don't give them... the satisfaction of it - by- your own hands."

Her mouth drops open.

No words come out.

What?

Out of the corner of her eye, she watches Lloyd slowly - a bit too carefully - push the door shut behind him. It creaks softly, but neither of the two left standing in the room really hear it.

She squeezes her eyes shut, far too many emotions almost crashing through her mind.

"You seek to rescue your friend. I seek revenge."

Blinking the world back into focus, her mind whirls and whirls; the storm unrelenting.

"I seek revenge."

What exactly did that mean to her?

She...

She did not quite know the answer now.

---

Akita does not speak for some time, her thoughtful expression plainly clashing with one of anger.

He does not speak, either, although it is for a different reason.

Lloyd's words have forced him to face the reality he has been avoiding ever since he smashed his scepter on the ground - ever since the decade-long winter had ended.

"And if they really want to hurt you? Don't give them the satisfaction of it - by your own hands."

"If they really want to hurt you."

There is only one whom Lloyd could have been referring to.

"You were built to protect those who cannot protect themselves."

Somewhere within his mind, he is aware of the fact that the second his memories returned, the staff lay in pieces on the floor; all of that corrupted ice shattering into nothing.

He is also aware of the fact that sixty years of tyranny will leave behind much more than an altered climate.

If they even get back to Ninjago, what will have become of his city? It took his friends decades to find him - what could have happened during all that time?

Friends. Does he even have a right to call them that?

He is not quite sure - or even sure if all of them will be as forgiving as Lloyd.

The Green Ninja had always strived to find the best in people - to believe that anyone could make up for their mistakes, that they would want to. It had been to his friend's detriment, once - yet Lloyd had never quite given up on the world, in the same way that many of them had. Maybe it was some sort of childish naivety - or maybe it was just in his nature to hope, even after all they had been through, that everyone had some good inside them.

Yet, he had never met anyone who shared his friend's mindset - or at least to that extent.

Kai knows what it is like to have a sibling kidnapped, taken from them for no rhyme or reason - other than the fact that a cruel ruler who seeks power and exploits those around them for it will stop at nothing to get what they want.

Cole knows what it is like to die (well, almost, his logic points out) - to be imprisoned within yourself; a husk of a person, unable to live your life to the fullest.

His mind flashes to the thousands of innocent villagers he had frozen in icy prisons, practically caskets-

Irrationally, his hands begin to shake.

He chooses not to focus on that.

Nya used to hunt down those who hurt others, he recalls - and then squeezes his eyes shut.

Is she not quite similar to Akita in that regard?

The realization leaves him more gutted than he thought was possible. Had he really become the very person his friends worked so hard to stop?

He clenches his fists, the titanium covering his fingers grating together.

At least I am no longer holding the scroll, he thinks, fervently. Before long, the memory of a clear, quiet night pulls itself to the forefront of his mind.

The echo of a whispered confession; a brief explanation mixed with tears and shaking hands. A voice usually so bright, silenced to the shaky murmur of "I watched her die, Zane, and it was all my fault, it's all my fault-"

It was then when he had learned of- of an alternate timeline, his processor had inputted seamlessly. Another reality, wiped from their minds and the press of time. One that only existed in the memories of two of his best friends.

One that resulted in poorly concealed winces, seemingly arbitrary flinches, Nya throwing out any dresses she owned and Jay practically shaking with fear when he was asked to do certain chores. One that resulted in scars that ran far deeper than those of venom or sword. His memories had been useless then, too, his mind points out. How could he have let two of his best friends suffer for weeks on end, when he was able to upgrade or encrypt his memory drive at any time? When he was a n- robot, and should be able to recover memories that had been deleted or erased? The others could never be afforded that opportunity - yet, he had let the team down when it mattered most. If he could not be there for others, try to help them protect them from a force unable to ever be completely defeated, would he ever even halfway fulfill his purpose? He had pondered all of those questions - had ignored the pang in his heart when many pieces of the figurative puzzle clicked into place, for many weeks afterward. He had almost immediately vowed to be better - to ensure that his purpose did not go unfulfilled.

His purpose, he thought bitterly, as he squeezed his eyes shut. What had become of it now?

Another question to ponder, he supposed. And the realization that Jay - one of his brothers, one who was always equipped with a weapon and a joke too - would forever know what it was like to be kidnapped, held hostage, simply because a power-hungry figure cared less for another than anyone ever should.

Akita's brother had been scarcely less than a child - after his imprisonment. How could he have strayed so far from his original goals - how could he have strayed so far from what he had supposedly fervently stood for?

---

Lloyd's words still ring in her ears, his weary tone not quite matching their crazy implications.

She rubs her temples, frustrated. This was definitely not what she had come here for! She had come for vengeance - vengeance for the terrible crimes the Ice Emperor had committed, against her village, her brother, even her-

But what was the point of revenge if she was the one left scarred? a small voice in the back of her mind points out, doing nothing but adding to her indecision.

I cannot do this, she insists fervently, thinking of her brother's worn face - and the years he had spent imprisoned; a lone figure silently mourning a sister he did not know still trekked the ice.

Just as she had been mourning him, she thinks sadly. The pang in her heart may have lessened since she had realized that he was still alive, but it was still horrifying to think that he had lost decades of his life - she had lost decades of hers, too, in a different way, she muses - saddened, alone, imprisoned.

But is this what he would have wanted? For her?

He had always been the calmer, logic-based one. She was always running into fights, the one fueled by emotion and anger.

Well. She spares a moment for the future.

The Emperor would leave their world - possibly, to haunt another. She would remain here - with her brother and her village, the woods and the towering peaks of the mountains.

I only have this one chance, she reminds herself firmly. She fixes her eyes on the strange blue ones of the Emperor, and sees a future ruled by that one decision.

Her gaze flits towards the doorway, and she sees a future there, too.

She sighs, dropping her eyes to the ground.

But Katuru would want me to- to-

Be happy, she realizes, jarringly.

Taking a deep breath, she bites her lip.

"Will taking your life make me happy? Will it make up for the years of pain we have endured at your hands?"

Her voice rings out, hesitant yet determined.

"I wish it were so," she confesses wearily, ignoring the ache in her hands. She's been gripping the hilt of her dagger for so long, the blade's almost pierced her skin. "Alas, it is not."

The Emperor meets her gaze, but not completely - out of guilt? Fear? Anger?

She does not have the time to ponder meaningless questions.

"I despise you with every fiber of my being, you coward," Akita snarls, some of the anger she has become so accustomed to bleeding its way into her words. "But I will not tarnish my hands on someone as worthless as you, when you presently pose no threat to me."

The words spill from her mouth, but she almost wants to stuff them back inside at that very second.

This isn't why I came here! This isn't what I was supposed to do-

Another voice cuts through the one in her head, a weary confession from someone she knew nothing and everything about.

"Don't give them the satisfaction of it - by your own hands.

The next words she utter fill the room - steady, unwavering.

"Leave our world, and never return. Never. You have treated my people as if you are a monster, yet you say that you are sorry. As if you could ever care - after everything you have done to us!"

Akita sheathes her dagger, indecision still weighing heavily on her mind.

"I hope that you are as haunted by your time here as we all are," she spits, walking towards the door. She does not look behind her, but packs as much bitterness as she can into the last word she utters before the door closes behind her.

"Emperor."

---

A/N - I know this wasn't great, but honestly, it was really interesting to write and challenged me to think about certain things quite a bit. If you did read it, thank you so much!:D

#the ice chapter #ninbingo #ninjago zane #ninjago lloyd #ninjago akita #ns11 #zane julien #lloyd garmadon #ninjago fanfiction

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cheonjeolmi · 3 years

Text

Walmart Date (Modern AU)

Pairing: Hange x F! Reader

Warnings: None ( except for some tooth-rotting fluff )

Request?: Not requested, though my requests are open so feel free to send!

A/N: just some desperately needed Hange fluff !! Sorry for any grammar or formatting errors as its been a while since I used tumblr. In any case please enjoy the story, and follow me on twitter for writing related updates @_thexaus !

“Y/N!! Come on, come on! Let’s goo” Hange exclaimed as they couldn’t help but pace back and forth around their shared room.

“Babe, it’s still way too early for you to be this hyper.” you groaned.

“Oh, sorry! I’m just so excited!” They giggled and brought their arms around you, wrapping you in a hug.

“We’re going to Walmart to buy some groceries and other things, why exactly are you excited?” You asked as you returned their hug.

“Yeah, but we’re still spending time together! We’re going on a Walmart date!” she continued, “plus, I’ve missed you. We’ve both been busy with work. But now that it’s our day-off, we can have our date!” Hange smiled and pressed a light kiss to your forehead, face heating up in embarrassment from the sudden kiss.

“Aww, you’re so cute when you blush! It makes me want to kiss you even more” they swooned, peppering you with kisses, before kissing your nose then touching it afterward. “Boop!” They chuckled at your reaction. “I love you, Y/N”

“I love you too, Hange” The two of you wrapped around each other, with you listening to their heartbeat. The brown-haired scientist pulled away, retracting their arms from you

“Okay, the last one to the car is a rotten egg!” Hange laughed as they bolted towards the door, leaving you in their trail very confused

“What..?”

“Haha, rotten egg!” they said as they kept boasting about their victory. (Y/N) glared at them

“It’s not fair! I wasn’t ready and you tried to trip me at some point. Also, if I had known we were doing that, you would definitely be saying otherwise right now.” you accused your brown-haired partner

“Whatever, you’re just mad that I won” Hange turned to you with a smug smirk before sticking her tongue out, you scoffed and walked a bit further from them, deciding to playfully ignore them.

“Babe, I did what I have to do and I won so that’s all that matters,” they boasted once more, noticing you walk further from them, they let out a laugh “Are you seriously gonna ignore me?”

You didn’t respond. Instead, you walked even further from them, creating a bigger distance than before. “Okay fine, be that way then. I’m gonna ignore you too! A taste of your own medicine, if you will.” They sighed, crossing their arms, stomping toward the Walmart in front of you both.

Although that didn’t last long since once you both entered the store, they turned to you with tears starting to form in the corner of their eyes. “Y/N!! Please don’t be mad at me anymore, I’m sorry! There, are you happy!? You’re not the rotten egg, I am!” they whined, begging for your attention in the process.

When they saw you turn toward them, their smile grew but immediately dropped when you gave them a smug look, loving the way they were acting now.

“Torture! This is torture, Y/N! Why are you torturing your cute and precious partner named Hange aka the love of your life?! I thought you loved meee..” they whined, as other people began to give you both weird looks.

“Oh my god, Hange! I forgive you. Now, be quiet before we get kicked out!” you said as they immediately brought you into a hug kissing your cheek,

“Yay, Y/N loves me!” Hange sang in delight as they dragged you along the store “So what are we going to buy?” they hummed, walking beside you. “Oh no, I forgot to make a list,” a small frown came across your face.

“Well anyway, snacks, drinks, and ingredients for dinner. Did you wanna look around to buy something?” Y/N said turning to Hange smiling as they nodded “Okay great! We’ll meet up later, yeah?” After which they both went their separate ways.

Hange skipped around the store holding a basket filled with sweets, and a worrying amount of Red Bull. Once they finished going around getting everything they wanted, the brown-haired scientist stopped and froze in fear

“Oh no…” Hange had gotten lost in the big store and was completely without their girlfriend and now, proceeded to exaggerate their situation, thinking of all the things that were unlikely to happen. Were they overreacting? Yes, but they believed you could never be too sure.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no no no. I have to find Y/N! Oh, I can call her-!” fishing for their phone, only to see that it was dead. “Oh come on! The day I forget to charge is the day I get lost. What are the odds.” they sighed in defeat but soon perked up, thinking of the perfect idea to get them out of this predicament.

“Calling Ms. Y/N L/N, please head down to register 5. Again, can Ms. Y/N L/N, please head down to register 5. Thank you.” The store speaker rang out as you head over there to see what was wrong, there you saw Hange sitting down on the bench, pouting while swinging their legs back and forth.

You compared the sight to that of a child who lost their mother, which to be fair was sort of your situation right now. Hange then looked up and saw you come closer, making their pout turn to a wide grin, soon enough they ran up to you and hugged you tightly.

“Y/N!! You’re here! And you’re alive!!” Hange practically screamed as they were now reassured and weren’t alone by themselves anymore.

"Hange, what-? Of course, I'm alive...Now, start talking.” your gaze hardened against their brown eyes, they gulped from the tension and simply nodded.

“First, why’d you ask them to call me here? Second of all, why didn’t you just text or call me?” They rubbed a hand on their nape, clearly nervous as you seemed like a mother scolding their child, which was also very much true.

“Well, I um..got lost...second, my phone was dead. Also, while waiting for you, I talked with the lady at the register! Her name was Flora! What a nice fellow she was..” Hange smiled, recalling the small conversation they had, whilst waiting for Y/N to arrive at the register.

“Hi, I’m Hange!”

“Nice to meet you, Hange. I’m Flora,” “So, this Y/N person is your..girlfriend?” Hange nodded

“Ah, yes she is! Very lovely, kind, helpful, friendly, and she’s just so great!”

“Aw, that’s sweet. You must love her a lot” the kind woman said and Hange could only nod, thinking about all the things she loved about you.

“I’m gonna marry her one day. I don’t know when or where, but if I’m with her that’s all that matters'' the brown-haired scientist sighed dreamily, as they began to imagine what married life would be like with you.

“I was exactly like you once with my wife, when we’d still been dating. Her name’s Evie and now we’re married! 10 years and counting!” “Let me tell you, waking up to her every day is a dream and even after 10 years it never gets old. I’m sure it’ll be the same for you both” Hange smiled and thanked the kind woman at the register.

“Hange? Helloo? Earth to Hange?” you waved your hand against her face, which seemed to break them out of their daze and smile at you. “Oh, sorry Y/N! Were you done paying for everything?” they asked and you nodded “Oh shoot, I forgot something!”

“Oh? What did you forget? We’re not in a rush so we could go look for it” your eyes lit up in mischief “No no, it’s not that. It’s just that,” moving forward to get your head start “the last one to the car is a rotten egg!” you exclaimed, giggling as you bolted out the door, leaving Hange in the same state you had been in before.

“Huh..? HUH!!? HEY WAIT!! THAT’S NOT FAIR Y/N!” they shouted as they ran after you, which didn’t take long. Hange caught you in their arms around your waist trapping you within the confines of their body, their chest pressing against your back.

You moved around their hold, both of you admiring each other's features as the two of you smiled like idiots. “Hey you” they smiled, “Hey yourself” Y/N replied, snuggling closer towards the scientist.

Suddenly the air between you changed, a visible sense of longing present, “Y/N..” Hange began to slowly lean towards you, you began to do the same as your lips brush against each other, their hands move to cup your face, the kiss feeling like all the good things you could name.

Fireworks. Butterflies. Electricity.

Everything in that moment felt right and you both knew that. “Hange” you moaned into her lips as the two of you broke apart for air, which didn't last long as your lips were back on theirs. The taste and feel of their lips on yours, their scent of warm vanilla with a slight hint of earthiness to it filled through your nostrils.

Everything about them was addicting, and it was frightening how you were willing to sacrifice a lot to be with them-- or to feel the rush of excitement, danger, adrenaline, and warmth which coursed through your veins whenever you were with Hange.

For a few seconds, everything around you was still. You feel every little detail and it's simply beautiful. It’s only but the two of you and it's unlike anything you’ve ever experienced and oh how you wished this moment could last forever.

As the two of you parted, yours and Hange's foreheads pressed against each other gently with the two of you smiling like idiots in love.

“Y/N, stay with me forever please” “Hange..I'd only ever want to stay with you anyway” they smiled once again and placed soft kisses along your face, from your forehead to your nose, and from your cheeks to your jawline bringing their lips to the shell of your ear with Hange softly nibbling on it,

“Hange-” you moaned at the action and they smirked at the way your voice slightly broke. “And another thing, I win, rotten egg.” Hange pulled back to look at your shocked expression and smiled. Admittedly, you had forgotten about the silly race as memories of the kiss you shared not too long ago, filled every space in your mind.

The coffee-haired scientist raced over to where you parked the car and you couldn't help but smile seeing their tall energetic figure make a beeline to the car, with you walking a few steps behind them accepting your defeat. God, you loved Hange so much and you knew that they loved you too, if not more.

But no matter how many times Hange had told you they loved you, you always felt comfort in knowing that, smiling once again for what seemed to be the millionth time that night.

'You're going to be the death of me, Hange Zoe.'

#hange x reader #hange supremacy #aot fluff #reader insert #fanfic #writing #hange zoe #aot #snk fanfiction #modern au #first post #snk x reader #aot x reader #writer #fanfiction

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quickspinner · 3 years

Text

The Truth Hurts

(I’m sorry I know that title is super unoriginal but it fits so well)

Spoilers for S4E1 Truth

Also not especially a fix it fic, more of an aftermath fic, so prepare for pain.

I’m late but this is for the LBSC Sprint Challenge prompt 2. “So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me because I, too, am fluent in silence.” I actually only spent two sprints on this and then I thought I was done enough, but I did add quite a bit more trying to bring it to a satisfactory close. I think I still fit pretty closely to the time restraints plus editing though. Except I’m already a day late so the editing was not very heavy on this one. Hopefully I didn’t miss too many errors or word repetitions.

Luka pain (sorry) and Couffaine sibling solidarity. Special apologies to @airi-p4 because I didn’t fix anything, I just made it worse. 😅

Warnings for Dad Pain and abandonment issues.

He woke up numb. Which wasn’t a bad option, all things considered.

Then he rolled over. And there was the face. Staring from his wall, like it had been for, what...seven years?

The face of his father.

He wasn’t so numb anymore. Luka shoved the covers off of himself and sat up, staring at that face.

For a few minutes last night, heartbroken and sick at everything that had happened, Luka had known what it was like to have a father. One who cared. Jagged had hugged him. Ankara’s hugs were tight and hard, but she still had a woman’s body, soft and curved, a little plump with age and childbearing. All Luka could think of as his father embraced him was how bony he was. The metal clink of Jagged’s jewelry was nothing like the quiet click of Anarka’s beaded bracelets, and his arms were thin, his body broad-shouldered but thin, without any of Anarka’s cushioning. Luka had never really spent time imagining what a father’s hug felt like, but it was different from a mother’s, and that was good enough for him at the moment.

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t needed a hug just then. Badly, in fact.

It all felt like such a dream; something from a movie plot. His father, his idol, suddenly one person, and promising to write a song with Luka, it...it was overwhelming. It was like every little-boy daydream come true.

But it wasn’t a dream, and Luka wasn’t a little boy anymore. So he wasn’t al that surprised when Jagged left.

Because he had a party to go to.

Because he’d left his family long ago for a rich and famous rock star life, and he had never once looked back.

I know how to turn feelings into an awesome song .

Luka lunged up out of bed, turning over the pile of stuff at the end of his bed until he found his laptop. With it in hand, he turned and reached to snatch the earbuds off his nightstand amp, and then paused with them tangled in his fist, thinking.

“Luka?” Juleka mumbled, sitting up in her bed.

Luka ignored her. As much as he loved her, he couldn’t take care of her right now. He couldn’t. He threw his earbuds down on his bed and went upstairs instead, jaw set, shoving crap out of his way carelessly until he unearthed the wiring for the sound system.

He hooked up his laptop with shaking hands and blurring vision. He could barely breathe as he queued up his entire Jagged Stone collection, chronologically, from memory, because he was officially Jagged Stone’s number one fan and it wasn’t even hard.

Luka cranked up the sound system, and pressed play. Jagged Stone’s very first album blared from the speakers above him. Luka skipped the first song hurriedly. He wasn’t ready to face that memory just yet.

“What in the seven seas—” he heard behind him, and he turned, fixing his eyes on his mother. He wasn’t even sure what kind of face he was making, but she stopped in her tracks.

She knew, all this time . She knew that these songs were about her, were about them .

You are the donut of my life, Jagged’s voice howled from the speakers. The donut. Sweet, but heavy. Bad for you. Not something you ate every day. Not something that nourished you or made you better.

God, how it must have hurt Anarka all these years, hearing those songs over and over and knowing.

It was hurting her now, he could see.

Luka could have stayed below. He could have used the earbuds. He could have spared her. He could have suffered privately.

He wasn’t sorry he hadn’t. Not this time.

Anarka sighed through her nose, and then turned and walked away, fists clenched.

He’d feel bad about it later. It wasn’t like he didn’t have enough to be sorry for after yesterday. Might as well lump it all in together. Luka turned back to his computer, and pulled his legs up, wrapping his arms around them and setting his chin on his knees as he closed his eyes to listen to the blaring music. To the truth .

Even thinking the word twisted his stomach and made him feel sick. But that’s what this was, wasn’t it. The truth about his father’s feelings. Luka almost wanted to laugh. It explained so much, now. The sentimentality of Jagged’s early work. And here, around his third album, here was where he moved on . Where he got over them.

I abandoned everything, but not my dreams .

Here was where he began to take on the persona of the true rock ‘n roll artist. Where he convinced himself it was all for the best because now he could make pure art, now that no one—now that Anarka and Luka nad Juleka weren’t holding him back .

My guitar is my only family.

Goddamnit, Luka loved that song. He buried his face in his knees and gripped his hair with both fists.

He felt hands on his back. Two hands, flat against him, rubbing slightly. Soothing. His mind flew, irrationally, to Marinette, but when he raised his face enough to look over his shoulder, it was Juleka sitting there behind him, her hands resting on his back, her shoulders curled inward as she peered at him through her hair. Of course. Because Marinette had no reason to be here anymore, and he’d chased his mother out. Of course it was Juleka, who had never wanted to know the truth, who had preferred not knowing to being disappointed.

Luka was starting to see her point.

And now he had forced this, all this on her. The truth she had never wanted to hear screaming out in stereo sound.

God, he was such an ass. He might be angry at his mother but none of this was Jules’ fault.

Juleka moved her hands hesitantly to his shoulders, and leaned against his back, resting her cheek against him. Luka lifted one hand to cover hers, and put his head down on his knees again, pulled a little bit out of his own selfish pain by her presence. He appreciated her silent forgiveness.

Soon he would have to get up. The world wasn’t going to stop for his shattered heart, and Luka would have to get up, and put on his brave face, and deal with things like Luka Couffaine did. Honestly, head on, by telling the truth as he saw it. He owed it to Juleka to help her work through it too, since he was the one that forced the knowledge on her. Silently he vowed not to let her be overlooked. Jagged owed it to her to at least look at her and acknowledge her. If she didn’t want anything to do with him after that, then that was her choice.

Juleka’s head nudged his back, and he sighed. She moved her hands again, this time putting her thin arms around him and hugging him tight. Luka took another long breath, and leaned back into her a bit, as Jagged’s Most Rockin’ Hits Vol 1 began to play.

Under the moon, deep within the woods...

Luka closed his eyes and swallowed hard. “I broke up with Marinette,” he said quietly. “Or maybe...we broke up with each other. I don’t know.” He sighed shakily. “I guess we just...weren’t meant to be. Right now.” He swallowed again against the lump in his throat. “It’s probably for the best. I’ve...got a lot to deal with right now anyway.”

Juleka had tensed when he said it, with surprise, he thought. But she listened, and hummed a wordless acknowledgement, and hugged him tighter.

If his tears dripped on her arms, she didn’t complain. The back of his shirt was feeling a bit damp, anyway.

The truth hurt. He’d always known that, but he also believed in the healing it brought. Better to face the pain head on, where you know it’s coming, than let it fester and burst on you when you weren’t prepared for it. Luka had enough experience with denial to know that running away only left your back bared to the knife.

Juleka’s face pressed a little harder between his shoulder blades.

Luka sighed, and reached out to turn the music off. He turned towards Juleka so that she leaned against his side, and he put his arm around her, and they leaned on each other in the suddenly deafening silence.

#quickspins #lbsc sprint challenge #lbsc sprint fic #lukanette #couffaine siblings #luka couffaine #juleka couffaine #daddy issues #abandonment #angst #hurt/comfort

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the-bee-graveyard · 3 years

Text

The Fine Line

Chapter Two

Hello! So this is my first chapter fic. It’s a Newt's and Brendresa fic (I’m hoping to write a Kitty one soon, sorry for my neglect to the TDA fandom recently) so um yeah I hope you like it

Sorry for any misspellings/grammar errors I did proofread, but I’m super inattentive so I probably missed stuff.

WARNING: Major Spoilers for The Death Cure

Story Summary: Newt and Teresa both survive the destruction of the last city and are brought to the safe haven with all their friends. Newt is welcomed back with open arms, and most people learn to forgive Teresa, all but the one person she wants to forgive her the most. Oblivious!Newtmas and Enemies-to-lovers!Brendresa. Minho and Sonya are sick of their friend’s being stupid. A little bit of Soniet and Mingally because I’m weak for them. Sonya and Minho are an unexpected Brotp I now can’t live without. Might actually be even more chaotic than my last fic. Combining movie and book logic because I feel like it. Pining because I said so. I might make a playlist for this fic because I like playlists.

Chapter Summary: both Teresa and Newt unexpectedly wake up in the safe haven, and Minho and Sonya don’t even give them time to catch their breaths because they’ve spotted their OTP’s and they won’t stop until they get them together.

Chapter One: Fine Line Between Love and Hate

Part One: Teresa’s POV

Teresa used to think she knew everything. She’d been told so by many people. Those same people fed her so many lies, but it took her long to figure out that was one of them, maybe because that was the only lie she’d ever truly believed down deep in her heart. Thomas used to say she knew everything too, and maybe once he stopped believing that she did too. No matter the cause, she now knew that there were a lot of things she didn’t know, but she did know this one thing:

She was supposed to be dead.

The last thing she remembered were the walls of her lab in the last city coming down on her. She saw a large chunk of concrete hit Janson right in the face right before she hit her head on the floor and blacked out . She could assume the rest of the building went down shortly after that. That was the end of her life, right?

So you could imagine her confusion when she woke up in a cot, not in hell.

“Great, you’re alive,” A sarcastic voice said from beside her bed. She’d recognize that voice anywhere, it had plagued her dreams and nightmares for months in the last city, for reasons Teresa didn’t understand. But now the voice was more than just a nightmare. She’d assume she’d actually woken up in hell, but the person who spoke hadn’t died and sure as heck would not have ended up in hell. They were everything Teresa could not be, and for the longest time Teresa had hated them for it.

“Brenda,” Teresa gasped. She sat up, pushing the blankets off herself and swinging her legs over the bed. As soon as she lifted her head off the pillow she regretted it, her head pounding. Brenda sat on a stool next to the bed, her legs crossed, looking bored. Teresa must have flinched from the pain or something since Brenda threw her an ice pack.

“Concussion, you hit your head pretty badly back in the last city. When Minho and I got you out of there we thought you might be already dead. The medic’s say you’ll make a full recovery, you’ve just got to take it easy for a few weeks,” Brenda explained. Brenda looked different since the last time she’d seen her. She’d cut her hair again, not as short as she had it when the two first met, but shorter than it was when Brenda and all of Teresa’s former friends kidnapped her and forced her to tell them how to get into WICKED’s headquarters.

Brenda being alive was good. Brenda being alive meant that she made it out of WICKED headquarters, which meant at least a few others had to have. A wave of grief suddenly hit Teresa, not for Brenda but for Newt. Thomas never came before the building came down on her. Maybe they could have made another cure for their friend once they got out of the city and to wherever they were now, but Teresa remembers how Newt was the last time she saw him. He had an hour left in him, that’s if they were lucky. There’s no way he could have made it wherever they were without cranking out, and Newt would have never allowed himself to get that far, to get that close to hurting his friends.

One way or another, Newt was dead. Another person’s blood on Teresa’s hands, someone Teresa long ago considered to be one of her best friends. And he died hating her, and she'd given him every right too.

“Can you explain to me what happened?” Teresa asked once she could make herself speak again.

“You came over the speaker and gave a whole thousand word speech on how Thomas could save Newt. When we got to Newt with the serum Thomas had knocked him out to keep him alive. We gave him the serum and Thomas told us to go get you and the cure, so we did, but the building kind of fell apart. We got out just in time, we found you clutching the cure,” Brenda explained. Teresa exhaled, Newt made it. She didn’t have to add his name to the long list of those she killed. “I suggested we kill you, we got what we needed from you and someone else could recreate the cure. You can thank Thomas for being alive, he insisted we didn’t do anything to you. He was even hesitant about letting me take my shift watching over you, I guess he thought I’d strangle you in your sleep or something.”

“Where is he? Thomas?” Teresa asked.

“With Newt, we haven’t been able to peel him away from him since we got back.” Teresa couldn’t hide her grin, she always knew there was something going on between Newt and Thomas, even before the maze. She and Minho used to bet on them as children, betting their pudding cups on if they’d walk into a room holding hands or something like that.

But thanks to her none of her friends remembered that.

“I’m sorry Brenda, I really am. I know you have no reason to believe me, but I’ll do anything to prove it. I hurt you all, and you should hate me for the rest of eternity, but I really wanted to be your friend at one point. I still do.” Brenda stood up.

“Save it for someone who cares Teresa, ‘cause I sure don’t. I never liked you.” Brenda began to walk about of the shack they were in. Teresa didn’t know why the words hurt so much, she’d never liked Brenda either. They did though. Brenda turned around in the doorway. “I’ll let the others know you’re awake though, they’ve been worried, even if they won’t admit it.”

Part Two: Thomas’s POV

Thomas was half asleep when he heard Newt mutter something. He sat right up in his chair next to Newt, waiting. It had been over two weeks since they’d gotten back from the last city, and both Newt and Teresa hadn’t woke up.

“Tommy,” Newt mumbled.

“I’m right here Newt, it’s me,” Thomas said, leaning in closer. He felt guilty about it, but he hadn’t even gone to visit Teresa, wanting to be there when Newt woke up.

After a minute Newt’s eyes opened, and they were clear. The black veins had faded from his body shortly after they injected the cure into Thomas, but he hadn’t opened his eyes since then so Thomas saw the insane look in them every time he closed his eyes.

“Oh my god Newt, you’re alive,” Thomas threw is arms around his friend, pulling him into a tight hug, afraid to let go. Newt laughed in Thomas’s embrace.

“Still a bit confused on that part, care to explain how?” Newt said. A wave of relief hit Thomas again. He didn’t know what he would’ve done if Newt died, he couldn’t make it in a world without his best friend.

“Teresa,” Thomas said. “Teresa made a cure. It was my blood the whole time, she just figured it out first.” Thomas sighed. “I feel like an idiot Newt, I could have spared you all that pain the whole time.”

“Oh shut up you twat,” Newt said. “I would’ve died long before the flare without you. You save me every day just by being there. You-”

“Thomas!” Minho called, interrupting Newt’s statement which Thomas really wanted to hear the end of. “Teresa’s awake and looking for you.” Minho came into the tent.

“Good to see you too,” Newt said, rolling his eyes sarcastically and grinning fondly. Minho gasped and hugged Newt tightly.

“I was so worried,’ Minho said. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again you ugly shank.”

“Can’t breathe,” Newt gasped. Minho let go of Newt and laughed.

“Hold on, Gally and Frypan are with Teresa, but there’s one other person who’s been waiting for you to wake up,” Minho said before dashing out the tent. He came back a few minutes later with a familiar blonde girl by his side.

Sonya had explained to them all that when WICKED took her and Aris they’d given their memories back, but she’d never been able to tell Newt she remembered they were siblings before he ran off to follow Thomas.

“Do you remember me?” Sonya asked timidly from the doorway. Newt didn’t respond for a minute, and Sonya’s face fell. “That's a stupid question. You’ve met me after the swipe, you remember me as Sonya, but why would I think you’d remember me as-”

“How could I ever forget you Lizzy?” Newt said, his voice cracking. Tears streamed down Sonya’s face as it lit up and she attacked her brother with a strong embrace. “The flare must have damaged the swipe. I don't remember everything, but I remember some. Enough.” Thomas suddenly became conscious to the fact he was holding Newt’s hand.

“We’ll leave you two to catch up if you’d like,” Thomas offered. Newt squeezed his hand tightly.

“Please don’t go,” Newt said. “I want you to stay.” Thomas knew the words were directed at all of them, but it felt like they were meant just for him. His heart skipped a beat at the thought.

Part Three: Minho’s POV

Minho had always been a guy who was relatively fond of people around him falling in love, but he sure as hell wasn’t fond of people around him being completely oblivious to the fact that they’re in love.

Minho usually had his routine “Newt and Thomas were fools before all this and Thomas is an even bigger fool now because he still hasn’t realized his feelings for Newt” rant with Brenda and/or Gally, but Gally had gone to take his shift accompanying Teresa, who said she still wasn’t ready to face Thomas and Newt, and Brenda had stalked off after telling them Teresa had woken up.

So when Sonya plopped down next to Minho on the log he sat on in front of the bonfire and said, “Can Newt and Thomas just kiss already?” Minho figured she’d have to do.

Minho quickly stole a glance over to where the pair sat laughing on a log with Jorge and Vince. Thomas had his arm around Newt and Newt had his head rested on “Tommy’s” shoulder. When Minho made a comment on it they said “it’s just a bro thing”. Over the past few weeks Minho had sat like that with Gally multiple times, and it was most certainly not a bro thing.

“It’s so annoying isn’t it?” Minho said. “I was trapped in a maze and the scorch with them, I’ve been dealing with it a lot longer than you have.” It would cause Minho to rip out his hair, but his hair was so beautiful he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“Even Aris caught onto it, and it took him to see Harriet and I kiss in front of him five times before he realized we were together back in the maze,” Sonya rolled her eyes.

A brilliant idea came to Minho. Of course, all of his ideas were brilliant, but this one was even more brilliant than the others.

“How about we put an end to this pining?” Minho asked Sonya, grinning wickedly.

“Got anything in mind?” She asked him. Sweet Sonya, sweet innocent Sonya. if only she knew he had not one thing in mind, but multiple things in mind that were all incredibly risky and might cause Vince to banish them all, but they all had the same result: Newt and Thomas getting together.

“I do, but we can’t do it alone. Get Harriet and Aris and I’ll get Gally, Frypan, Teresa, and Brenda and we can all meet at the beach tomorrow after curfew.”

“Should I be scared?”

“Probably, but not that much. I’ve done crazier things, and look at me, I’m still here.”

“Okay then.” Sonya was also grinning like crazy, and Minho knew this was the birth of a beautiful friendship, one built on interfering in other people’s for the better.

#the maze runner #newtmas #brendresa #soniet #mingally #Thomas tmr #newt tmr #brenda tmr #Teresa Agnes #Minho tmr #I promise there will be more Brendresa discussion next chapter #fix it fic #the fine line

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gardenerian · 4 years

Note

Back again with an ask about bipolar disorder so please take as much time as you want *if* you want to answer 💜

I think this will definitely be subjective again, so I’m really looking for an opinion. I’ve been wondering lately just how much of Ian’s extreme mania (before the diagnosis) or intense depressive episodes he actually remembers. I know the self-medication probably didn’t help matters, but sometimes I feel like between Ian’s tendency to compartmentalize and possible memory problems, maybe he doesn’t have a good recollection of that period of time early s4. And I feel like maybe that’s not necessarily a bad thing? (Unsettling, I’m sure, and potentially dangerous but kinda perfect as far as coping mechanisms go for Ian.) I don’t really see memory problems as a symptom talked about much (in fandom discourse or fics) so I’m wondering how common it actually is and how much that could actually impact someone with the disorder. (Beyond the bit of research I’ve done on my own which is kinda vague lol.)

Hopefully this goes without saying but I’m not trying to really do anything with this information or explain away certain things, it just gets me thinking about the possible implications or meanings behind things. Like I’ve always felt he carried around/wrote things in that little notebook because of his racing thoughts and ideas but maybe he was having problems remembering and needed to write them down? Is that how it even works? If he doesn’t remember what happened while he was working in Boystown, are there things that could jog his memory? I think it opens up a lot of discussion possibilities so wanted your thoughts!

this did take a moment, so thank you for your patience ❤️ i love giving ian and his journey this kind of thought so i never mind questions like this, but it takes a minute to comfortably wade in. i’ll start with my usual preface that i can only speak from my own experience, my own understanding, and what i’ve learned from my own care team. i’m also... not a doctor so grain of salt, etc. others may have different ideas - i am certainly not the end all be all about bipolar. chime in if you want to share. that said, here we go:

i decided to tackle this somewhat chronologically (rereading before posting.. no i didn’t) - i had to organize my thoughts in some capacity otherwise my brain just short circuited every time i thought about ian in the white swallow talking about that helicopter. what the fuck that’s so sad. i don’t think we talk about that enough.

i think there are a lot of levels to this bc the human mind is baffling and also a raging bitch.

my first thought, as i mentioned before, is of ian talking to lip about stealing the helicopter before leaving basic. he’s recalling details (i’m not rewatching for this bc i’d probably head straight into a tailspin, so please forgive any errors and let me know if i miss anything major) as he knows them - didn’t steal anything, started the rotors. later he says he did try to steal it, tipped it, blade caught fire.

there are things he remembers about that - but i think they’re probably like images. flashes of memories. the fire, the groan of the helicopter as it tips, maybe running to avoid getting caught. does he remember his heart racing or his hands shaking or the cacophony of thoughts ricocheting around his skull? probably not. when your mind is growing more chaotic every day, there’s probably not a lot of room to store many solid memories.

plus, i think the mania greatly impacts his perception of his own memories. and is there anything more terrifying than that? i didn’t steal anything he says, when, if the MPs are anything to go by, he definitely did. i didn’t hurt the baby, he says in s5, when we know that was absolutely a possibility. his judgment grows more and more warped as these seasons progress.

ALL THAT SAID

mania and depression are impairments. they are literally altering your brain function and cognitive abilities, and this will be especially true when they get more extreme. changes in sleep patterns and mood are going to impact the way your brain operates. like. blood flow to different parts of your brain changes. memory loss is a common occurrence - not a given by any means, but i think it’s likely that ian does suffer from this to at least some extent.

there is literally a correlation between mood disorders and cognitive decline (here’s a very depressing study about possible longterm impacts - the part about alzheimer’s ruined my day!). episodes particularly damage your “update and recall” functions of working memory. so it’s difficult for the brain to encode new information and access older memories. working memory is kind of like short term memory - but with the added bonus that not only can you not remember something, the information stored in your brain can also be manipulated.

with the addition of everything else that mania and depression bring, it’s no wonder ian’s perception of what happens is wonky, to say the least. and because bipolar is the gift that keeps on giving, it’s not uncommon to have memory impairment while IN BETWEEN episodes, too. your brain is just. physically changed.

like i said before, there are levels to this. you also pointed out that ian is self-medicating a lot AND he’s naturally someone who compartmentalizes. i think it all melds together to make a very painful haze. i cannot fathom the trauma that we don’t see. i cannot even make my brain go there. there are undoubtedly terrors we’ll never know about - and there really is no telling if ian knows or will know everything. if i had to guess, there are likely some ghosts of memories lingering. he mentions in s6 that he doesn’t have a full idea of the number of men he’s been with - between the drugs and mania, this is a very sobering thing to consider.

i think the notebooks are primarily because he is bursting with thoughts and ideas, but i wouldn’t be surprised if his memory also played a role. especially with mania, maybe he’s living so vividly that he’s desperate to record it all for a later time. i am suddenly, breathtakingly sad about that idea.

with the s5 manic episode, i would wager that all the above factors + the trauma of his hospitalization and diagnosis + adjusting to drugs might make for pretty fuzzy memory. but at the same time…. there are certain colors and smells and sounds that are burned into my memory so? it goes both ways, the brain is a fickle lover.

have you ever seen eternal sunshine of the spotless mind? there’s that part near the end where joel’s last memory of clem is being erased and he’s seeing these vivid little flashes of moments in the car. quick but stark. that’s what my memory of my most manic days are like and i wonder if it’s also like that for ian. maybe.

it was actually suggested to me after i was diagnosed to keep a running record of my thoughts so i don’t forget things. my notes app is just littered with bullet points from my day to day, some are mundane and some are unhinged. before i started treatment i once decided that we needed like. a lot of groceries. i spent $200+ ordering more food than we had room for to be delivered to my apartment after work that day. i promptly forgot that i did that, went about my day, then left work and went right to the grocery store to buy all the same groceries. i was fucking gobsmacked when the delivery guy came an hour after i got home. so yeah… even basic things can go right out the window.

for the depression…. i would think that he remembers very little about that particular episode. my mans is catatonic. not much information is getting encoded at that time. being able to remember that and also not being able to remember that are two distinct kinds of pain and i’m sad that ian would experience either.

tldr: there’s no solid answer and that’s goddamn devastating. ian will never know what he doesn’t remember. and you’re right, given the circumstances, maybe that’s a really weird convoluted blessing. i don’t know enough about brains/memory/science/anything to know if those memories could be triggered, but maybe? probably to some capacity? maybe he’d remember bits of something but not know why….. i don’t know at all. this is the worst tldr ever.

#crawling back into my blanket cave now #hope this makes sense #i once again went overboard #tw bipolar disorder #tw depression #tw mental illness #if anyone wants any of the articles or studies i have them saved so lmk

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nintendousimp · 4 years

Text

Train of Thought..

Part: 3 Forgiveness?

Previous 👈 Master👉 Next

Word Count: 2k

Released date: February 1st, 2021

Warnings: NSFW, grammar errors ( stayed until 2 am so I’m sorry 😅) Not a lot of warnings for this part of the story!

Disclaimer: All characters in this story are aged up!

Enjoy part 3! I sure enjoyed writing this part 😊

It’s morning when you wake up. In your sleepy state, you look at the alarm clock that’s on the nightstand. It reads eight in the morning, hungover and a throbbing head, you manage to get out of bed. As you head to the bathroom, you take notice that your knuckles are all bandaged. You don’t have much memory of last night. The logical reason behind this, Atsumu came into your room last night to take care of you.

“ What a pain,” you say as you go about your routine to get ready for the day. Whether you like it or not, you were going to sit down and get an explanation from Atsumu. But first, you need to get rid of this headache. You finish getting ready for the day when you smell the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. You know by the smell that lingers in the air that your husband is up. He’s always been this way. Up before the crack of dawn to go for his morning jog, you weren’t surprised when he was up before you.

“Time to get some answers,” you say as you’re looking into the vanity mirror. You’re mentally preparing yourself for the things you were going to get ready to hear. You unlock the door to the bedroom and make your way towards the kitchen. As you enter the living area, you notice Atsumu is sitting on one of the counter stools sipping on his cup of coffee.

By now, you caught Atsumu’s gaze. “Morning y/n,” he says.

“Good morning,” you say as you approach one of the counter stools.

“Would you like some coffee?” He asks

You nod as you lean your head on the table counter. You don’t notice Atsumu looking at you. It’s been so long since he’s seen you in this state of a complete loss. There’s not much he can do since he’s the reason for your pain. For now, take he’ll care of you. He hands you a cup of freshly brewed coffee along with some painkillers and a glass of water.

“Take this,” He says.

You thanked him as you take the pills from his hand. Atsumu makes his way to the stool right next to yours. He sits there just staring at his cup of coffee as you stare at the window that’s right in front of the kitchen sink. Both of you sit in the silence of the room, not a single word. You were about to start talking when Atsumu spoke.

“ I think it’s time I tell you everything. But before I do that, there are no words that can describe how sorry I am to you. I know I am a failure of a man and, I don’t expect your forgiveness.” you sit there listening to everything he’s saying. He sounds sincere, but it doesn’t excuse what he did.

“Look, we’ll talk about your apology later once I’ve made up my mind on what I want to do going forth.”

“I understand your decision.” I need you to know that I’ll love you no matter what decision you make.” You get off the stool and head towards the living room. Atsumu follows behind you and sits right next to you.

He began to tell you about how it all started. He shows you evidence of his infidelity, conversations that went back and forth between him and your supposed best friend. You just couldn’t bear to keep going. All you feel is pain and betrayal. How can you ever forgive this? All those months of hard work, nights where you sat alone in your office.

By now, Atsumu has seen the tears in your eyes. He doesn’t want to continue with this. If he could he turn back time and never would have cheated on you. Sadly life doesn’t work that way. Now he’s paying for the consequences of his actions.

After conversing for hours, you sit right next to Atsumu, not knowing how to react to everything he just told you. Months of this happening without you knowing has you feeling sick.

“ I don’t know what to do. Everything you told me has me even more conflicted than before. I want to cry and scream at you, but I can’t. I don’t have any energy to do any of that.”

“I love you Atsumu, that’s not going to change, but I think you know that I can’t be married to you after this. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust you as I did before,” is all you say.

To think, a few days ago you were planning a surprise trip for you and Atsumu for finishing your work ahead of time. Now you’re sitting in your living room, right next to him, trying not to break into tears. You know what you have to do. It’s not an easy decision to make, and It’s breaking your heart just thinking about it, but you know deep down that this is the best for both of you.

“ I want a divorce,” is all you say. Before Atsumu could answer you, the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it,” as you get off from the sofa and make your way towards the entrance door. You open the door and notice that Akaashi and Bokuto are both at the door.

“HEY, HEY, HEY,” is all Bokuto says before he pulls you into a hug.

“Long time no see Bokuto san. I’m sorry I haven’t been to your matches, I’ve been super busy with work.”

“It’s okay y/n chan, I know this book is very important. Congratulations on the release!”

“Thank you Bokuto, It means a lot,” you say.

Both of them can tell you’ve been crying. It’s not hard to know since you have always been a happy and outgoing person.

It made Bokuto sad seeing you like this. On the way to your house, Akaashi explains to Bokuto what happened last night. Afraid that he would say something that might upset you, he made him promise to not act strange around you and Atsumu.

“Would you guys like to come in?” You say to them.

Bokuto was about to go in before Akaashi stops him midway. “We stopped by to give you this,” he hands you your phone that you thought to be missing.

“I stopped by the office this morning, my assistant informed me that you left your phone at my desk.”

“ I’m sorry Akaashi, I was in such a rush to come home that I must’ve forgotten about it,”

You act as If nothing is going on, but deep inside you, you know that you’re not okay. Akaashi noticed the sadness in your eyes, but what can he do? Wait!

“ Hey, y/n have you ate?” Akaashi asks.

“I haven’t actually, why do you ask?”

“ Bokuto is taking me to this ramen place that’s not too far from here. Would you like to come with us?”

At this time you don’t know whether you should stay home, or accept their ramen invitation. By now Atsumu’s made his way to the door.

“You should have fun. Hey Bokuto, nice to see you again Akaashi,”

“HEY HEY HEY Atsumu!”

“Nice to see you too,” is all Akaashi said.

Part of Akaashi wants to say something to Atsumu, but unfortunately, this is still none of his business. He can’t help but worry about you and wished he could do so much more than what he already is doing, but it’s not right to get involved in someone else’s marriage.

“Can you guys give me a minute with Atsumu? There are a few things I’d like to discuss with him before we head out,” you said.

“Of course, y/n will be waiting in the car,” Akaashi said.

You thanked Akaashi and gave him a reassuring smile, you want him to know that things are going to be okay even if right now it doesn’t seem like it.

As soon as they get in the car, you close the front door, and you walk to the closet and grab some casual clothes. As your changing, Atsumu is sitting in the corner of your shared bed. He can’t remember the last time he saw you get undressed in front of him. You’ve both been busy with your careers that neither of you got to spend time with the other.

You say something that pulls him out of his thoughts.

“ It’s going to take a long time for me to cope with this. I don’t know what I plan to do going forth,” you say. There’s a lot of things you’d like to say, but you’re trying to stop yourself from crying once again.

“Tsumu, I love you, I always will, but I can’t be with someone I can’t trust,” you said.

That felt like a shot to the heart for Atsumu. Although he knew this was most likely the outcome of your guy’s marriage. He had hope in the back of his head that you’d forgive him. He knew that was fairy tail thinking, and that you’d never forgive something like this. This was what brought Atsumu back to reality.

Your guy’s marriage finally hit rock bottom.

“Okay,” is all Atsumu managed to say, trying not to break right in front of you.

“I’ll have our lawyers start the process first thing tomorrow,” Atsumu says as he gets off the bed and makes his way to you. He pulls you in for a hug, you weren’t going to deny the pain you were feeling at that very moment. You’d wished things be different, but you know that’s not the case for this delicate situation.

You can’t help but hug him back only this time it’s a lot different. This hug feels more like a goodbye. The embrace was emotionally painful, after all this is a breakup hug. You guys don’t know how long you stand there for. All you know is that you don’t want to let go of him. Atsumu slowly lets go of his hold. He places a kiss on your forehead before he fully lets go of his release.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t man enough for you y/n. I hope you find a man that’s worthy of you. I hope you know that you’ll always have a special place in my heart.”

Atsumu gave you one last hug before he left.

You drop to the ground and began to break into tears once again. This time no one was going to stop you from mourning the loss of the man that just walked away from you.

You get off from the ground and make your way back to the front door. As you open the door you notice Akaashi and Bokuto were standing on your doorstep.

“ We decided we’d rather hang out here, so we bought movies and snacks” Akaashi says as he hands the grocery bags over to Bokuto.

As Bokuto makes his way to your living room, Akaashi pulls you in for a hug.

“It’s okay y/n, you can let it out,” He says as you dropped to the ground and began to cry once again, only this time he has you in his arms.

You don’t know what’s going to happen going forth. All you can think about at this very moment is to finally let this pain out. As your crying, you can’t help but think of all the memories you’ve made with Atsumu over the last few years of your marriage. Memory after memory plaguing you all at once. But that’s when an idea hit you.

You let go of Akaashi’s hold and head towards the guest room to where your laptop is. You come back and sit on one of the stools. You open your laptop and begin to type “Train of Thought” and close it once again.

“What were you typing,” Akaashi says.

“A title for a story,” Is all you say. As you make your way towards Bokuto who’s in the living room conflicted about what movie to watch.

“Here let me pick,” as you choose a movie and plant yourself on the couch.

You know your pain won’t be going away any time soon, but at least having Bokuto and Akaashi around might make it a little more bearable to deal with.

And now you have work to look forward to, so there won’t be enough room to feel pain.

Or so you think so, at least...

Summary:

L/N F/N a young adult working on their first ever book with the help of editor and friend (Akaashi). Discovers that their husband has been cheating on them for the past few months that they’ve been working nonstop. Heartbroken y/n decides to drown herself in their work. Will they be able to Forgive their cheating husband from his infidelity or will they approach the man who fell in love with them while working on their book?

Characters belong to the Haruichi Furudate.

Taglist: @h0wab0utw3d0ntd0that , @brnda7rdrgz , @tsukkiswifeey

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lalumierel · 3 years

Photo

【 You find yourself the recipient of a letter that could never be unassuming if it tried.

The royal purple envelope is a backdrop to gilded lettering, lovingly rendered with a steady hand. It shines when you hold it up to the light; to say nothing of the wax seal that sits heavy in a contrasting deep red. Burned into your memory is the Gloucester rose, the summertime fancy and the lovers’ flower, the signature of one noble son.

Should you choose to open this envelope, there is crisp parchment awaiting you. A practiced hand has sent you a missive, and then some. All the words legible, cursive immaculate, but aside from the flourishes, it is, as some say, a lot to unpack.

At the very top, lettering bigger than the rest, begins this invitation—ah, yes, you see now, it is an invitation—with the setting of intentions: 】

❝I, LORENZ HELLMAN GLOUCESTER, am sending you a formal invitation, extending you the distinct honor of attending the Ethereal Moon Ball as my esteemed guest…❞

【 … 】

【 You quickly realize that the letter goes on. And on. Was there ever an end in sight, or was that the twinkle of your golden name?

You will be here all night, should you read the whole spiel, so you skip to the end: 】

❝MOST SAINTLY PRINCESS: I believe us to be kindred spirits, if you will forgive me for such a sweeping assumption from our first introduction—an introduction long overdue, a grievous error on my own part, as the days have come and gone with swift ferocity! Allow me to extend a symbol of my most revered House Gloucester, on behalf of the Leicester Alliance, as well as extend my most capable hand, should you be in need of any assistance during your time in Fódlan. Should you accept, I look forward to presenting you with the fullest extent of my grace at the Ethereal Ball.

YOURS, ❞

At first, she is rather flattered. This Lorenz, he had quite the way with words—she knew much better than to swoon at the drop of a hat, or letter for that matter. ( The rose notes were a nice touch though. ) She reads over the letter for only the number of times she was allowed as it was quite lengthy.

With the parchment in one hand and a finger twirling a loose, green tendril from her head, she takes a stroll to get some idea of what to write back. How could she match the prose in a simple letter of acceptance?

Her gaze shifts upwards and she sees something familiar. More like several things familiar. A student here, another there, a small group gathered, all holding the infamous purple envelope with a rose wax seal.

Her cheeks color, but not out of flattery any longer. Was it desperation or was this so-called nobleman after as many he could check off a list? Suddenly, she knows exactly what she intends to send.

“Dearest Lorenz,

I am most flattered to have received your letter. I must remark how exquisite your penmanship is, but I would expect no less of a noble. Your words moved me in more ways than one. I am glad to know rightfully complimenting a lady on her best qualities is your duty.

I would have accepted your invitation with honor of being escorted by such a gentleman, if that gentleman was not so bold as to send several letters out. That is enough to be unforgiving! What exactly was your intent?

I will have you know, I am no second, third, or thirtieth choice. As your first impression, you have shown much of your disposition which I must say leaves much to be desired.

If you are a true and proper man, then you will apologize, not to just me, but whoever else you have mistakenly led along in your flowery writing and empty nothings! Only then will I consider granting you the honor of having a dance with me.

Certainly not yours,

L’Aarchel ♡

#thyrosus #support:lorenz #(( i almost wrote cold or lukewarm regards ))#(( but thank you for sending! ))#submission

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jungcity · 4 years

Text

love, eternal. | iv

genre: reincarnation!au, fallen angel!au

[supernatural-ish, angst, use of blunts and intoxicants, extra asshole jaehyun, smut, vulgar words]

pairing: jung jaehyun x reader

words: 9k

notes: it’s been really hard for me to write these past few days. i don’t know if i’m writing sense into this fic. but i do hope that you enjoy this chapter! please leave some feedbacks (bad or good is appreciated! :) ) it would really mean a lot to me! thank you so much! also, this chapter is unedited, so forgive the errors xx

part i | part ii | part iii | part v

“There is a halo in your mouth

and I like how it burns.”

— Sincerely, Joanna

You lay in bed awake, the kiss you shared with Jaehyun occupying almost all the space in your brain. Tugging on your hair, you forced yourself to sleep and not let yourself drown into the feeling— for the kiss still lingers on your lips, making your chest swell in unbelievable happiness.

The dinged of your phone pulled you out of your fantasy, you grabbed it from the nightstand and saw Soojin’s name displayed on the notification panel.

[Are u ok? R u home?]

You typed in your answer, squinting from the brightness of the screen.

[Yes. I’m home. U?]

But before you decided to keep your phone, Yuta’s caller ID flashed on the screen. A frown slid past your lips, then you slide the red button. You currently do not have the energy to deal with anyone. But you at least owe Soojin a message to let her know that you’re home safe.

You stare at the ceiling, the image of Jaehyun flashing into the white color above. Jaehyun’s lips tasted of tequila and mint— so soft against yours. Out of all the boys that you’ve kissed in your lifetime, the one you shared with Jaehyun stood amongst others. Yes, you’ve kissed boys when you were drunk or sober, but none of their kisses made you feel light yet heavy— like you were flying and drowning at the same time. It thrilled you to the bones. You subconsciously touched your lips just to feel it one last time, and just to prove yourself that it happened. Jaehyun kissed you, and you kissed him back.

The realization of how happy you were of the experience blows your mind, and that how the touch of his lips felt like a distant memory. The caress of his lips, so familiar you started to wonder if you’d ever kiss him before.

But that’s impossible, right?

Dreaming again? The voice inside you asked.

You stare at the queen size four poster bed. Roaming your eyes around the room, you saw a vanity resting at the corner in front of the gothic-styled windows, and a dresser probably bigger than the bathroom you have home is located on the side.

The thick red curtains drapes down, their edges touching the tiled floor. You spotted a vintage hand mirror on the nightstand, the glass reflecting that of a moonstone you wonder if it’s used to mirror things or just a mere display. Shrugging, you placed it back and sat on the bed.

Your butt slightly sunk into the soft mattress, allowing a soft gasp to escape your lips. The mattress was so inviting, you laid on the pillows, and the same happened to your head— it also sunk in the cushion. You could sleep forever if you wished to. For there was no one in the whole room but you.

A sudden tardiness hugged your body whole as you lay still, your mind blank from everything. Not even the kiss you shared with Jaehyun could make you think of something other than the comfort of the room. You wonder who could be the owner of such a classic and magnificent room. He or she must be sophisticated to have owned such grandiose space. Despite the somnolence, you compelled yourself to stand. The room felt suddenly eerie because of its vastness. You would’ve shivered if not for the sunlight that’s infiltrating it through the glass windows.

Roaming your eyes for the second time around, your vision caught sight of the small veranda attached to the room, making you realized that it must be located on the top floors of a house. You pulled yourself up, the cold tiled floor biting on your soles. Barefooted, you walked to the veranda, night dress swaying in every step.

Vast green fields greeted you as you pushed the door open. Tall trees standing here and there with thick foliages. There was one who bends on the veranda: making everything looked like a Romeo and Juliet’s scene.

There was an easel supporting a finished canvas. Paintbrushes and different oil pigments sat atop a table beside it. A separate table with teacups and spoons resides in the nearest corner with two chairs around it.

Everything seems like a fairytale. The whole place felt so removed from the loudness of the society. A dream you once had as a child; serenity, with only your canvas, paintbrushes and pigments beside you. Now here it is, and it felt so real, kindling an ember inside you it could start a fire. You inhaled.

You stepped closer to the canvas. The hues of it being illuminated by the sunlight made everything so marvelous. It was bright, it was alive, and it feels like your own.

“Fallen angel,” you breathed.

It was an angel, falling from the heavens. Wings splayed, like he forgot how to use them and blend with the wind. The artwork gave the impression of an unending fall. His eyes had that horror of being banished, yet when you look at the wholeness of his face, you saw the fury that lies within.

“It is indeed a fallen angel,”

You jumped and turned around to greet the voice. Heart hammering against your chest, you saw a pretty woman standing behind you. Hair black as the night, eyes as the blue of the skies— she’s the one you saw in your reflection in the mirror. How?

“I am Aurora,” She extended her hands. You looked at her outstretched hands before reluctantly taking it with your hands and shaking it. It was so soft. No callouses could be felt.

“I am… Y/N.”

Aurora smiled. You’ve never seen someone as beautiful except for Jaehyun. She looked like a goddess ready to bring peace in to the Earth. Her smooth steps enthralled you, every move of her feet towards the canvas is like a silent wave of the waters in the ocean.

“This is unfinished.”

Her voice. It could lull any crying children to sleep; so soft, so serene.

“Really? What could be missing?”

You both stare at it and you noticed that your dresses are similar to each other.

“A tear.” She smiled at you. “Will you do the honors of completing it for me?”

Even if you don’t understand a single thing, specially her favor, you nodded. What could possibly be the reason of her asking for you if she could paint it on her own? And as if she heard the voices in your mind, she turned to you.

“I… don’t have the ability to finish it anymore.”

There was sadness in her eyes which quickly reflected on you. Almost like you feel what she currently feels. So you grab the paintbrush and started to dip it on the pigments. With Aurora guiding you, she pointed where exactly to put the tear. You oblige and started painting it.

“It’s don…e.”

Where is Aurora? You searched for her with your keen eyes, but there wasn’t any trace to tell you where did she possibly go. The door is silent, a proof that no one pushed it. All that you could hear is the rustling of winds against the leaves.

You longed to touch the canvas, to feel the bumpiness of the paint against it. Hair’s breadth away, you suddenly curled your finger. It was so perfect that you’d feel ashamed to taint it with your hands, even though you touched it with brushes, it feels wrong to let your hand feel it. So you look and look at it until you drank all the details in, with a promise to recreate it once you wake up.

Three knocks, those were the sounds that woke you up out of slumber. You heard the muffled voice of your sister against the door that’s separating you from the life outside.

“There’s a delivery for you,” said she, voice a bit louder for you to hear. You told her you’re awake, and that you’d just compose yourself so she should entertain the delivery personnel for a minute.

Delivery? You rack your brain of anything, thinking of the last thing you purchased online. And that is a new drawer to keep your art materials in place.

With a creased brow, you swiftly tied your hair while still thinking of what could the delivery be. Then the realization slowly hit you, your eyes widened and you ran outside, abandoning your hair half tied into a bun.

“Good morning, miss.” The delivery boy greeted, a soft smile on his lips.

“G-good morning,” You stuttered, heart rumbling.

“We’re here to deliver the painting purchased by Mr. Jung. Is he around?” He was still smiling, eyes roaming around the living room, searching for a man who isn’t there.

You composed yourself by breathing in and out, silently wishing that Jaehyun has already handled the shipping fee.

“He’s not around. But can I… can I receive the parcel for him?” You asked, surprised that you’ve said the sentence without stuttering.

It would cause a lot of trouble if you tell them that you mistyped the address on the mail you sent their company, so it’s best that you accept the package instead of asking them to deliver it to Jaehyun’s house. And you’re certain Jaehyun would kill you one or another.

“Oh, that’s unfortunate. But yes you can, Ma’am. Just show us your valid ID so we can tell Mr. Jung that one of his relatives accepted the parcel,”

You nodded at him and walked back to your room to gather your ID. He must’ve thought that Jung Jaehyun is living in this small apartment and that you’re one of his family members. The thought almost made you laugh and you scoff. Relative? I’m not even a friend, you mumbled.

You handed him the ID then he wrote your name on some paper and on the horizontal line at the end of a separate paper he’s laid on the table. He handed you the pen, then you wrote your signature above the name. He tipped his cap, walked back to the delivery vehicle and when he came back, he’s carrying an average sized parcel. By the looks of it, you bet the canvas is of the standard size. You guided him towards the sofa, where he laid the parcel carefully.

“Thank you,” You smiled, which he answered with the same gesture, tipping his cap again and bidding his goodbyes.

“What is that?” Yuqi asked, scrutinizing the parcel with a mug of hot chocolate on one hand. Sighing, you slumped in one of the sofas, covering your face with your hands.

“I’m seriously fucked up,” You told her.

“Why? What happened?”

“That is the parcel which was supposed to be delivered to Jung Jaehyun’s. Not here. I mistyped the address because of my agitation by Yuta’s arrival,”

“That jerk really couldn’t do anything right, could he?”

Yuqi was still a baby teen when she met Yuta, but her blood did not settle good in him. She warned you about her gut feelings towards him— that he’s bad news who’d shatter your heart in pieces. Guess what, in her young age, she was right.

“He even punched Jaehyun,”

“Wow! The audacity! Jaehyun could literally throttle him,” Yuqi stated, a scoff leaving her lips.

“Jaehyun did not fight back. Brawling with Yuta must’ve seemed so pathetic to him.”

“I guess so. Rich bachelors like him does not indulge themselves to useless—”

Your phone rang all the way to the room, making you jump in your seat and literally dive for it in your drawers. Jaehyun is calling. You gulped and pray before sliding the green button.

“The fuck is this, Y/N?! One job! You had one job! And you couldn’t even do it right!”

By his shouting, you pulled your phone away from your ear. You could see the veins in his forehead protrude in your mind, adding more to your anxiety.

“I’m—”

He breathed, “I don’t need your apology.” Then paused, “Deliver that here in thirty-minutes, or else…” He breathed again, and you swear your knees started to wobble. “You know what’d happen,”

Then he hang up. You hugged your phone to your chest, recollecting the sanity Jaehyun kicked out of your body. He couldn’t expect you to arrive in his penthouse in thirty-minutes when it’s literally one hour away from your house. But he’s Jung Jaehyun, and he always gets what he wants. It doesn’t matter how you get there, you just need to get there. Thirty-minutes, you dashed for the bathroom. Half an hour isn’t even enough to scrub your body clean. Dissatisfied from the five-minute bath, you rapidly put things in your bag and settled for a hoodie and pants.

Nice, twenty-minutes left. You didn’t even have any time to dry your hair, so you comb it on the way to the bus stop with the parcel tucked in your arms. It wasn’t as heavy as you’d expected it would be, but nonetheless, it was tiring to carry it all the way to the bus stop. Luckily, there’s already a bus waiting when you get there. You climbed on to the vehicle and made yourself comfortable by listening to some music.

It’s impossible to reach his place in less than twenty-minutes. So you disregard his death threats and think about something else. And that something else is the kiss you shared. Your heart suddenly made a jump, realizing that you’re going to Jaehyun’s house. The awkwardness settled in your bones, and the fact that you’ve never been there made you wary. You have no idea what to expect; a model walking out of his house?

Jaehyun doesn’t seem really interested in the opposite sex, but then he kissed you, ravenously. You blushed at the memory of him trying to suck the breath out of you.

The hotel where his penthouse is located loomed over you. You gasped while trying to see the peak of it, so high it made your nape hurt a little. And you frowned by the realization that you need to carry the parcel all the way to the top where his penthouse is located. Blowing out air from your mouth, you walked inside the hotel.

You stare at the canvas resting beside you while you stand in the elevator, wondering what kind of art it is. You’ve never taken Jaehyun to be fond of the arts, but here he is, proving your impressions wrong again. Coincidentally, you’ve also dreamed about a painting. Its memory already printed in your mind that your finger itch to start drawing it.

You stepped outside once the elevator door dinged, carrying the parcel in your hand. There was a single door at the end of the hallway. You have no idea how to tell Jaehyun that you’re already outside, and you don’t want to risk pushing the buttons and scanners in his door, so you sent him a text message instead, hoping that he wasn’t too busy to glance at it.

The door opened, but there was no one who greeted you. Automatic doors? Can’t relate, you whispered to yourself. You pushed the door wider, peeking your head on to the space. The whole house is as silent as a mausoleum. One word to describe the interiors? Magnificent. An expensive looking bachelor pad for a bachelor such as Jung Jaehyun. Everything in sight seems so modernized yet minimal. The hues of the furnitures blends in well with the color of the floor and walls. The ceiling is also high, and of course, a floor-to-ceiling glass windows.

You stepped your foot inside, expecting Jaehyun to appear in the corner to throttle you of your incompetence. Shaking the bad thoughts away, you completely entered the penthouse.

“Sir?” You called against the emptiness of it.

“Jaehyun! Faster!”

Chills ran down your whole body as you heard something erotic. It isn’t what you think it is, right? But the scattered clothes splayed on the sofas and floors told you that it is indeed what you think it is. Another grunt echoed of the whole floor, then a scream followed it. You couldn’t move your body. Maybe you wanted to run, or you wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole. Because, Jesus Christ, you couldn’t stand and watch a live porn!

The moans and the grunts halted. And you still stood there, palms sweating with your forehead despite the ventilations.

“You’re here,”

“Holy mother of rectangles!” You jumped, your hand flying to your chest.

“I said thirty minutes,” Jung Jaehyun stated while leaning on the door frame with a glass of liquor in hand. He’s wearing a thin white long-sleeves, its fabric clinging on to his sweat beaded body, accentuating his chest and muscles. You thank God that he’s wearing pajamas, because let’s be honest, you’re not ready to see a limp dick today. God really do have mercy.

A girl slid her hands around Jaehyun’s chest. Despite her bedraggled hair, she is much fully clothed— maybe the clothes on the floors all belongs to Jaehyun. But you’re sure you’ve seen a female underwear— so the girl is not wearing her panties inside that body-fitted dress? You gulped down the thoughts. People could be really wild sometimes.

Wet, sloppy kisses filled the whole floor. You could only assume that the girl was giving open-mouthed kisses to Jaehyun’s back.

“Until next time baby,” She cooed, grabbing his crotch— grabbing his crotch?!— in front of you. She made it seem like there’s nobody standing there with them. You wanted to gag, but there was something in Jaehyun’s eyes as he looked at you while the girl literally shoved her hand inside his pajamas, doing God-knows-what with his penis.

The intensity of his stare suddenly makes it harder for you to breath. You felt something in your stomach uncurl as Jaehyun’s mouth slightly parted by the pleasure he’s currently feeling. Run, damn it. But your body felt leaden and you couldn’t move your feet. As much as you wanted to deny it, Jaehyun’s pleasured face made you feel hot all over. To your face down and in between your legs.

If the girl doesn’t stop giving Jaehyun a handjob, and if Jaehyun, himself, wouldn’t stop staring at you with that gaze, your knees would absolutely collapse any time soon. And as if Jaehyun saw your predicament, he pushed the girl away.

“See you soon,” Jaehyun muttered. Then the girl leaned forward, giving his neck a sloppy kiss.

You tucked the strands of you hair behind your ear, suddenly embarrassed of letting yourself watch the little scene that unfolded before you. The sound of heels echoed everywhere when the girl walked past, completely ignoring your whole existence. Like you didn’t just see her give your boss a handjob.

Jaehyun walked towards you while drinking the liquor in one go. Eyebrow already raised as he stood face to face with you. You didn’t meet his gaze, for the fear that he might see how flustered you were right now. And you didn’t want to give him any satisfaction of knowing that you were affected of his little foreplay exhibit.

You cleared your throat then offered him the parcel, “Here.”

He pointed the sofa with his lips. You have no other choice but to oblige. Heaviness tried to pull on your feet as you walked to the sofa, your nerves still in a frenzy as you lay the parcel above the cushion.

Jaehyun was still standing behind you, watching you like a prey he’s not sure whether to kill or to let go. Either way, you forced your feet to move, and walked past him. You have no more business to do for him, and you badly wanted to go home. The scene the two of them made in front of you is enough to knock your consciousness and put you in a coma. And maybe you’d need a dextrose full of holy water to cleanse your body.

He stopped you by holding your arm, “Where are you going?”

You deadpanned, “Home.”

“The kitchen is there. Make me something to eat,” He pointed with his finger, with the hand still holding the empty glass.

You stared at him, not believing his words. He didn’t just order you to make him food when he literally made some random girl give him a handjob while you’re watching, right? What kind of drug is he inhaling? You badly want to try some. Just to become as detached as him.

“It’s Sunday, Jaehyun.” You reminded him, dropping all the professionalism to make him remember that he couldn’t boss you around outside of work. And that he should probably head inside a church and cleanse his soul of anything ungodly lurking within. But of course, you didn’t say that.

“Don’t make me repeat it again.” He warned, then walked back to his room, leaving you irritated. To do what, you have no idea— maybe he’ll jer— okay, calm down Y/N.

There’s no point making sense with Jung Jaehyun. The man thinks he owns everything and everyone around him. He’s standing on a pedestal higher than your own height. You know you can’t argue with people like that. So you trekked the direction Jaehyun motioned earlier, and then you found the kitchen. It’s a U-shaped kitchen with an island on the center. Floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the tall buildings outside.

You placed your bag above the island, then you sauntered up to the two-door refrigerator. Of course, even his refrigerator screams ‘rich’, full of goods you bet he doesn’t even try to cook nor eat. You grabbed something that is easy to cook— eggs. Maybe you’ll make a soufflé egg, or a pancake— or maybe a meal that he could eat until dinner. Then you shook your head and reminded yourself not to be frustrated over what he wants. He’s a grown ass man, he could take care of himself.

Yes, he’s a grown ass man who could definitely take care of himself. But here you are, cooking soy garlic chicken for him. Jaehyun was still nowhere to be found, giving your head at least the peacefulness it deserves.

You pondered about what happened earlier. A girl moaning inside his room, then that girl giving him a handjob in front of you. The realization of him kissing another girl after he kissed you hit home. It shouldn’t even hurt you, but it did. Does he badly wants to rub your kiss off his lips? Of course it was a mistake, you know that. But it didn’t feel wrong to you.

What is wrong with me?

You calmed yourself by drinking a glass of cold water, forcing to forget everything like how you forced to swallow the cold liquid. But you know that’s impossible. You couldn’t just forget a kiss like that.

To keep your mind off things, you decided to make a coffee for Jaehyun. The chicken is all ready, but he still locked up on his room. He should really give you a large bonus for your effort of dressing his breakfast plate. You laid all the food in the dining table: soufflé eggs, vegetable salad, hotdogs, soy garlic chicken, rice, and his coffee.

Jaehyun showed up the same moment you gathered your bag to go. He’s wearing fresh clothes on: black shirt with a new and clean sweatpants, hair still wet and his face looking refreshed. Obvious that he just got out of shower. You stopped yourself from asking what could be his skincare routine when you remembered that rich people like him doesn’t need one.

He eyed the foods laid on his dinner table, you’re sure it’s his first time seeing that many dishes for his breakfast. Did you overdo it? The sudden thought of making an effort for him made you blush. You’ve never cooked food for someone other than your mother and Yuqi before. The reality of doing it for the first time for someone— let alone a man— flustered you.

“I left some of the chicken in the oven, you can heat it up later for dinner. Eat well.” You started to walked away, but he grabbed you again when you trudge past him.

You inhaled, closing your eyes. What is it again? Somehow, being this close to him made you feel lightheaded. Because of what? You don’t know and you don’t want to know. The mere touch of his fingers could send electric bolts in your whole body and you didn’t like the way he makes you nervous just by being near.

“What more do you want, Jaehyun?” You snapped.

He doesn’t let go of your hand when he said, “Aside from sipping a nice and warm coffee, maybe I want you to bend over this very table so I can fuck you raw,”

Jesus Christ. The next thing you heard was a loud slap of skin to skin. You stare at him, dumbfounded with a stinging palm. His cheeks turned ruddy by the contact.

His head was still in a sideway position when he smirked. You could hear your own heartbeat in your ears, so loud and so frantic you thought you’d go deaf.

“Do you… do you really want a lawsuit filed against you, Jaehyun?” Surprisingly, your voice box is still working on your throat.

If Jaehyun could laugh because of your statement, he would. But he only stared at you as if you’re the whole circus.

“I’d like to see you try, chérie.”

The caress of his voice made your skin prickle. You dared stare at his eyes, into those dark orbs no one could ever read. Hatred that no one could quenched stared back at you, with the intensity of the storm that lies within fueling it. Convoluted as it was, the hatred isn’t meant for you. It’s more like a tattoo, permanent in his eyes. But hatred isn’t the only thing that was reflected in those eyes— there was something else: desire. You shivered. In defiance of the hate that’s showing vehemently on his irises, you couldn’t deny that Jaehyun’s beauty is not of this world. With his face looking ethereal like that, he could be a deity.

“I’m… going.” You gulped down saliva, trying to salve your thundering heart. He did not say anything, not a word when you turned your back on him and walked away.

But you could swear you felt him looking at your retreating back all the way to the door.

—

Jaehyun stared at the foods lay before him on the table. Unable to process why did you cook so many. He palmed his cheek before sitting, feeling like a thousand ant is crawling on his skin, the others biting. It was well-deserved though, for being so callous of his words. Yet the words that came out of his mouth was not a joke, just ended up lecherous. And the emotion on your face while you watch Mina giving him a handjob flashed in his mind without warning.

There and there, in your spot, with your innocent doe eyes trying not to run from the scene made something in him twitch. But your expression was so priceless— forcing yourself to not give up any emotion as you watch them. It made him feel hotter, hornier even. That if he could pushed Mina away and grabbed you just to kiss you as he did in your living room yesterday night, he would. Yet a force inside him locked him in place, reminding him that the kiss you shared was nothing but the result of his impulsive ass.

He tried to erase it, you know. He tried to erase your soft lips— tasting of everything sweet against the cruelty etched in his— but he couldn’t. The way you kissed him back made him mad— mad at himself for enjoying it, mad at his heart for feeling something familiar. A familiarity he buried together with Aurora.

He tried to shake it off by grabbing the hips of the unfamiliar girl underneath him, sure it’s going to leave bruises. Her fake squealing and moaning filled the whole house, but it didn’t even reach the emptiness inside him. So unlike the brief kiss you shared that sparked the fire long smoldered in his system.

He fucked her ‘til you arrived, just to let you know that what you shared was wrong. Not because he didn’t want it— heck, if he could claim you here and there, he would— but because he couldn’t taint another human being with the evil inside him. And he couldn’t afford to go down the path of trying to be good, just to be reminded that he’s not. And never will be.

What he felt for you, he couldn’t quite understand. When he sees you, he feels excited— alive even. And he’s certain Aurora would’ve cried of happiness if she knew he’s feeling something towards another girl again, after so many fucking years. After all, it was her wish before she blew out her last breath. For him to never forget love, instead cherish it. Hold on to it. Because it was salvation, she said. Yet Jaehyun couldn’t still believe it, if it was salvation, why does it feel punishment? Because it is a punishment, you fool, he whispered to himself.

He thanked his phone ringing of saving him into his thoughts. The name Johnny Seo displayed in the screen. He slide the green button, turning it on speakers.

“Bastard,”

“Puppy,” He reared back. Johnny is an alpha, and calling him puppy always raged him. Which is why Jaehyun branded him the name, to piss him off.

“I fucking hate you, you know that?” The wolf retaliated. Jaehyun nodded, taking a bite of his food.

“Anyways, you do know that my birthday is in four days, right? Or you don’t?”

Jaehyun could even see Johnny’s brow rising.

“I don’t. Birthdays are dramatic,” He prattled.

“Yes, because you don’t have one dickhead.” Johnny laughed.

If Jaehyun was an emotional wreck of an angel, he would’ve been hurt. But it’s the truth. He doesn’t celebrate birthdays because he doesn’t have one. He came into this world without going through the process of a mother’s pregnancy. But Johnny, and his whole pack of wolf has, being that they were all human once. Chaelin is the only one who shares the same struggle as him.

When Jaehyun didn’t bother to say anything, Johnny continued his sentence. “I’m celebrating it here, of course, in London.”

So the bastard is in London, Jaehyun whispered in his mind.

“You better go or else I’m pulling out my share in your company.” Johnny threatened. He would’ve laugh. Jaehyun is richer than all of Johnny and his pack of wolf’s riches combined. But he’s already planning to go to London for business, and he thought seeing how his comrades are faring with life every now and then isn’t a bad idea.

“I’m coming,”

“Come in my stomach then,” Johnny laughed.

It took Jaehyun a second to realize the joke. “Damn you, Seo.”

Johnny continued to laugh. Jaehyun attempted to pressed the red button when Johnny said something that perked his ear.

“Bring Y/N. Everyone will go. Including Taeyong’s clan and Doyoung’s group of warlocks.” — He said your name like you’re a friend— “Say I’m inviting her. I’ll handle her ticket, I know it’d hurt your ego to handle a pretty lady’s fare.”

“Shut the fuck up Seo, she’s not coming with me.” Jaehyun stated in a clipped tone. The thought of you meeting Johnny’s pack and Taeyong’s clan made his temper boil. At least you’re safe with Doyoung and the other warlocks if ever.

“Shall I call her myself then? She does not need to fly with you. She could arrive first, your choice.”

Jaehyun knows Johnny has his ways to contact you despite not knowing your number. And he couldn’t think straight of the possibility of you flying alone to London. Without him by your side.

“No, she’s my secretary. It’s just right that she flies with me.”

“You’re one hell of a complicated douchebag, Jung J—”

Jaehyun pressed the red button, not letting Johnny finish his sentence. Then he continued to eat, the thought of you going to London with him making him zestful than usual.

Then he remembered the forgotten canvas lying on his sofa. He stood up immediately and dashed to the living room only to slow down when he’s near. Heart thudding against his chest, a reminder that Aurora still have a part of him wrapped around her fingers.

He sat and stare at the parcel for a whole five-minutes. Readying himself to see the canvas inside that he knows too well— like the back of his hand. He grabbed it and slowly tear the thick carton wrapped in it.

Every inch of color sending bolts in his body. The familiar feeling of the canvas in his palms taking the breath out of him. He continued to tear the carton until nothing is left wrapped up around the art.

There it is. Aurora’s painting. In his hands. After so many years, he finally found the courage to stare at it. And the feeling is overwhelming. It’s overwhelming to see his own self, painted in the canvas made by the girl he loved more than life itself.

Of course Aurora knew.

Of course she knew that he was The Fallen.

And she never once judged him. Unlike all the people in the world, Aurora never turned her back on him despite knowing the truth.

That’s why his world crumbled for the second time when she died,— the only person who understood that Lucifer, himself, also needed love— slipping away from his fingers.

The art was wonderfully preserved, with only little to no dents. The pigments weren’t as bright as he remembers, but it’s the art of Aurora nonetheless.

His wings, the glowing of it intelligently captured by her. It made his lips slightly bend into a smile. But it quickly receded when he noticed something on the face. A detail he doesn’t remember noticing when he first saw the canvas one hundred years ago. A… tear?

It was so small, but it’s surely not a dent. For when he looked at it, the pigment stared right back at him.

—

You feel like shit when you came back home. It felt like you trekked a whole mountain from the unrest that you feel inside. Your bones feel heavy, your eyes too. And you blame Jaehyun and that girl for it. Her face, and her lips pressed into Jaehyun’s skin made you unexpectedly irritated. The mere thought of her sleeping on his bed made everything worse than it is.

Sure, she’s maybe a supermodel, or an actress, or an influential person and you’re just a secretary barely hanging on to life— but you could feel that the bond you have with Jaehyun is more meaningful than what they possibly have. Hearing yourself prattle about your vexation towards the girl and your boss, you tugged on your hair. You’re saying nonsense, Y/N. Of course, you and Jaehyun do not have any ‘bond’ to begin with and—

“Are you okay?” Yuqi looked up from her notes to you.

At her words, you realized that you’re already standing in the living room.

“Of-of course,” You blinked.

Yuqi shook her head, “Yes, Jaehyun and you do not have any bond. What else?” She teased.

Oh, so you said the words aloud. Your cheeks heated by Yuqi’s teasing. She’s just caught you thinking about your boss, and heard you blathering nonsense in the air.

Frustrated by everything, you decided to just paint something. The canvas from your dream begging to be recreated. You changed your clothes and readied your materials. Luckily, there’s a remaining canvas resting at the corner of your room, slightly smaller than the one in your dream but that could do.

You tied your hair in a messy bun before securing your canvas on to the easel, placing it facing the only window you have in your room. Light filters through, but not hot enough to make you wince. The weather is perfect with the sun hiding in the thick clouds.

Making yourself comfortable on the stool, you grabbed the canvas again. Hugging it onto the crook of your arm and tracing lines here and there to make the shape of the falling angel. The passion burning in your fingers prevented you from taking a rest, albeit your neck is starting to freeze and cramp.

Craning your neck left to right, you stare at the sketch. You couldn’t proclaim that it’s the same as your dream for the lack of colors it has, so you started to mixed oil pigments, with the hues of the painting from your dreams being your guide. You mixed blues for the skies, whites for the angel’s silk robe wrapped in his waist, blacks, reds, and oranges for the smoldering wings. But the one color you’ve had a hard time figuring out is the iridescence coating his wings. You needed your phone to search how to mix colors that’d look gleaming against the canvas. In the midst of your search, you’ve found out knowledge beyond what you expected.

Lucifer was God’s favorite angel. You could see it in his wings— for it glows unlike any other angels.

So, the painting must be an interpretation of Lucifer? You wondered.

Shiver like no other covered your body, the divine knowledge sipping in your mind. Because of that, you became more eager to finish the canvas. After mixing a lot of pigments and trying it to different papers, you’ve finally succeeded in making a glowing color. You laid the small jar on your study table, careful not to spill a drop, and continued to paint all around the sketch.

Yuqi called for you to dinner, the only time you allowed yourself to rest. You straightened your back and massaged your palms, numb from all the drawings and paintings you did. Before departing your room, you stare at the canvas. It’s not even halfway through, so you couldn’t make out the result in your head yet. You supposed you can continue painting it once you have the time, since it’s obvious that you wouldn’t be able to finish it today despite wanting to.

“What’s that you’re working on? Commission?” Yuqi asked as she swallowed a spoonful of ramen soup.

“Nope. Just… had an idea.”

Still, you remained quiet about your dreams. Not that anyone could understand them. You couldn’t decipher them yourself. And you know it’s best to keep them a secret for now.

Your phone lit up in the corner of the table, a text had just arrived. While munching on your food, you slid it open.

[We’re heading to London in three days. Send me your infos. Got it covered. Don’t ask too much questions.]

You forcefully swallowed your food, not wanting your mouth to spit it. Throat tightening, you drank a glass of water.

“What is it?” Yuqi asked, patting your back and peeking on the screen. “London?!” She exclaimed upon reading the message. You could only nod.

Jaehyun told you to book him a flight to London. It never occurred to you that he needed you to accompany him. The thought of flying to London with him gave you the good kind of goosebumps. But you didn’t allow your emotions to get the best of you. You typed in a reply.

[Okay, Sir. E-mailing it to you now.] But you really wanted to type in all-caps and make sure that you’re really coming with him.

You’re not certain you could get enough sleep tonight.

—

Days went on in a blur, and now you find yourself seated across Jaehyun in a first class plane. You decided not to move much, for you don’t have any idea how should you act around. Jaehyun does not spare you any glance at all. He’s reading a book for an hour now, completely ignoring your presence.

But before you got on the plane, he told you the real reason of bringing you with him after days of not telling you. Johnny’s birthday is tomorrow, and he invited you. The mere thought of him remembering you as you are and not as Jaehyun’s secretary warmed your heart. Unfortunately, you couldn’t buy an expensive watch or necktie for him so you sticked to what you do best— drawing. You drew him for days, leaving the other canvas you’re working on in the corner of your room. You could only hope that Johnny would like the gift.

Many things agitated you the whole hours that you’re sitting or leaning on your seat. Like, what would you wear? It’s not like you could wear your uniform in there. And you have no money to buy a dress. The money you have in your wallet is only enough to buy you, Yuqi, and Soojin souvenirs. As for Yuta, after days of trying to contact you and bombarding your phone with text messages, he finally gave up. You still haven’t had the guts to talk to him about his and Jaehyun’s brawl. Jaehyun never opened the conversation to you, too.

There’s many things that he does not try to address to you; the kiss, the little scene he made on his own house, and his comment about your soy garlic chicken. Yes, you bloody want him to say at least something about the food you prepared. But days had passed, no words came out of his mouth. He’s back to being the most cold-hearted man yet again.

You shifted on your seat, trying to rest your eyes. Jaehyun said there’s still three hours remaining before you land— the only thing he’s said to you. Clearing your mind off your thoughts, you close your eyes. This time, there’s no dream that accompanied the void in you.

You felt a nudge in your arm, Jaehyun’s voice looming around you, waking you up. The sting in your eyes hit the moment you opened them, squinting against the light around you. You noticed a small blanket wrapped around you, not remembering the moment you wrapped yourself in it.

“That… is the attendant’s doing.” Jaehyun pointed out, staring at you. And honestly? He didn’t need to do that. You know his personality too well to even assume that he’s the one who did it.

“We’re landing in five minutes,”

—

You arrived in Ridgemount Hotel after a hectic ride on a limo rented by Jaehyun, himself. Hectic because none of you uttered a word, your mouth has gone dry and jetlag kicked it the moment you stepped inside. You couldn’t even bring yourself to read something for the pulsating ache in your head.

Jaehyun’s hotel room is located across from you. Of course, he would prefer to spend a lot of money that to be wise and stay with you to the same room. Not that it matters to you, anyway. You’re definitely alright being your own specie in your room.

You have no idea how long did you sleep the jetlag away. There were no messages from Jaehyun when you opened your phone. You guessed he’s also getting some rest for the party tomorrow now that will be celebrated at Guildhall. The moment Jaehyun told you the venue, your eyes almost fell from its sockets. You only see Guildhall when you browse the web for medieval halls in London, and now you’ll get there tomorrow evening. The excitement is unbearable. You could literally jump from happiness. But a loud knock on the door stopped you from flinging yourself on the soft mattress.

“Hi!”

“Ms. Chaelin?”

The woman is smiling at you, wearing a white cardigan with a large belt wrapped around her waist. What is she doing here?

“Come in!” You said, letting her precede you to the door.

“Oh, your room is so cozy.”

She scanned the room with interest before sitting on the bed and looking at you.

“You’re probably wondering why I am here bothering your beauty rest,” She laughed. “But I’m just wondering if we could, you know, have some fun before Johnny’s birthday.”

“I— I’m afraid I don’t have…” Your voice faded, the sudden embarrassment coating you. But Chaelin only smiled at you, her face gave up the notion of telling you not to worry about a penny.

“Don’t worry about it! Everything is on me.”

“I can’t possibly accept that, Miss.”

“Just call me Chaelin. Please let me treat you. I wanna make up to the last time we’ve met. I know it wasn’t pleasant.” She wheedled.

She’s talking about your first week at Jung’s Fiscals. You waved your hands to tell her not to worry about it.

“It’s okay… you don’t need to. If there’s a person who should be doing that, it’s Jaehyun.” You told her.

“Yes! That’s right. Jaehyun told me— oh, nevermind. Do you have anything to wear?”

Jaehyun told her what? You shrugged off the curiosity. By her question, you slowly shake your head. That’s a problem you’ve been pondering on for hours now.

“Then all the reason for me to treat you!” Chaelin wrapped her arms around yours, not giving you any chance to argue.

You changed into comfortable clothes, fit for hours of shopping you assumed would take place. Chaelin waited for you, scrolling through her phone the whole time. According to her, all of Johnny’s friends will attend the anticipated party of the year. Not to jump into prejudice, you assumed Johnny is the kind of guy who throws absolutely crazy parties by the way Chaelin anticipates the event.

Knowing about the attendance of Johnny’s friends is the sole reason why you’re trudging the shiny floors and garish interior of a famous boutique near the hotel you’re staying in. You sent a simple message to Jaehyun, informing him that you went outside with Chaelin. As usual, he did not bother to reply.

You and Chaelin had fun. She literally made you her own personal doll, pulling you in and out of boutiques to dig every clothes there is that would fit you. You let her do her fairy-godmother work, being that you are lacking knowledge when it comes to the matter of class and magnificence. And you trust her taste enough to let her on her mission of finding the best dress for you.

Every now and then, she tells you about her friendship with Jaehyun. Not that you ask, but it made you curious nonetheless. According to her, they’ve been friends for a really long time now. It made you think that maybe they’d met in their elementary school. But Chaelin did not give you any specific date of their first meeting.

The day went on, and now you find yourself staring at the dress and stiletto Chaelin bought you. A promise to pay her was answered with a scrunch of her nose, telling you not to worry about the money and that she gave you the things wholeheartedly, not expecting any payment. It didn’t make you feel comfortable, but at least you relaxed by the assurance of wearing something decent tomorrow.

The door suddenly clicked open, and you jumped by seeing Jaehyun. He stares at you for a minute, obviously wanted to say something, but he rubbed his nape and closed the door again.

What was that?

You shrugged but after a second, the door opened again, revealing your boss with his back straightened, ready to give orders.

“Eat with me,”

Jaehyun did not wait for you to answer, giving you no chance to change your clothes. You supposed your current attire was enough, so you trudge outside and followed him to the hotel’s hall.

He sat, food in his plate. You followed after mere minutes of filling yours with delicacies you don’t know the name and haven’t tasted yet in your whole life. Jaehyun said nothing, just silently bite and munch his food. This is your first time eating with him, and you noticed that he’s feminine when he eats. There’s nothing wrong about it though, you just found the way he dabs the napkin on his mouth and the way he munches food so quietly, fascinating.

A glut of silence enwrapped the air around you. It could literally suffocate you, so with all your might, you tried to talk to him.

“Why did you let me come with you?” You have no idea why did you ask such questions, but Jaehyun only looked at you as if he’s had any choice.

“Johnny requested,” His curt answer.

“Johnny’s birthday must be so special. You even took your time to celebrate it with him.” When he does not answer, you continued your talking, “How about you? When’s your birthday?”

By your question, Jaehyun dropped his fork on his plate, creating a loud clatter to make the other hotel guests turn on the both of you. But he quickly regained his composure, giving a curt nod to everyone as a way of excuse.

“I don’t— it’s next month. 14th.” His laconic response.

“Okay…” You said, wary of his sudden lack of control.

“Excuse me,” He said, pushing his chair with the back of his knees. You nodded at him. But even after finishing your meal, Jaehyun did not go back to finish his.

You went back on your room calculating if you’d said something to irk Jaehyun. He wasn’t exactly annoyed, just taken aback? Nevertheless, you’ve gathered one information about him, and that’s his birthday. You no longer want to vex yourself by his constant berating, you thought knowing something about him would help pave the way of your bond.

While thinking about what could you give Jaehyun on his birthday, you wrapped the canvas you’d give Johnny tomorrow. After ten-minutes of cutting and ribbon-tying, you changed into new clothes and slept, a smile creeping up your face as you think about the event tomorrow.

—

Spectacular is an understatement to describe the Guildhall. Its chandelier hang high in the ceilings, with curtains draping down around them and with lights illuminating their color against the columns standing as posts of the whole hall.

Tables are decorated with a sophisticated yet manly touch. You assumed Johnny requested for a medieval touch to adorn the venue, which the organizers did an absolutely amazing job on. You feel like you were back the past. The period movies you’ve seen and books you’ve read all coming back to you— every scene and every word you thought won’t come to life is here, in front of you. The overwhelming happiness sits on your stomach, waiting to be unleashed.

“Y/N!” Chaelin waved, then she walked towards you with a wine glass in one hand. Jaehyun excused himself the moment Chaelin arrived beside you. He walked towards a pool of boys gathering around Johnny. Someone clapped his back, a man his age. But the younger ones nodded at him, reverence clear in their faces.

“You look stunning, Chaelin.” You greeted. The woman is wearing a velvet dress, hugging her curves, with a fur scarf wrapped around her arms.

“No, you look magnificent, love!” She cheered, pulling your hand and swirling you playfully, both your laughs joining together.

You’re wearing a tulle long dress, a mixture of champagne and blue fabrics adorning it. The stiletto you wear goes with the same hue as the dress. To be honest, you felt slightly out of place when you arrived, for the people around you wears monotone colors only. And you obviously stand out. But now Chaelin is here, you felt the pressure being lifted off of you.

The event started when Johnny went on to the platform, thanking each and everyone of the guess for joining him on his day. The bellows and laughters of his friends stood out among the crowd, their cheers slightly distracting Johnny. Your eyes automatically searched for Jaehyun, despite not screaming with the other boys, he has an unusual and once in a lifetime smile on his lips which made him more handsome that he already is.

He wears a simple black tuxedo, with his hair neatly parted and brushed up, a cowlick straying on his forehead. The color of his suit accentuated his pale features, making him ethereal in your eyes once again. He shifted, and met your eyes in the crowd.

His beauty locked you in your place with a heart thudding as you continued staring at him. He lifted his glass with a curt nod, a silent sign for you to enjoy the night. The small gesture made your heart swell in happiness even more, so you smiled at him. And he smiled back.

The evening moved on. You remained in your location, Chaelin giving you company. Johnny’s still walking around the venue, greeting acquaintances. And Jaehyun, he’s still talking with his friends.

“Aren’t you friends with them?” You suddenly asked Chaelin. She whirled at you before taking a sip of her drinks. Then she looked at the men surrounding Jaehyun in a sideway glance.

“Oh yes. Been friends with them for a really long time now. I’ve seen some of them grow up into the man they are today.” There was passion and love in her voice that you didn’t expect to hear. “That boy is Jeno,” She pointed at a boy with the warmest eyesmile, “We’re probably the closest, aside from Jaehyun. I adore that pup, quiet but knows when to enjoy.” She has that certain smile with her now, her eyes twinkling. Then she pulled you towards the boys suddenly.

“Let’s meet them!” She cheered. Although you were nervous in every step that you took, you let her sway you towards the men. Jaehyun met your eyes the moment you stood in front of them.

“Who’s this pretty lady?” A tall guy emerged from nowhere, bright smile directed at you. He was nudged by a smaller man.

“Jaehyun’s date,”— then he whirled towards you, offering his hands for a handshake— “I’m Ten.” You took his hand, expecting for a handshake, but instead he kissed it. Loud cheers emerged from the group, making you blush.

All of them shook your hands then, and you noticed they were glancing at Jaehyun as they did so, like they’re waiting for his permission.

“You must be Y/N?” The guy with a red hair emerged from nowhere. You slightly jump from his appearance; red hair, pale features, and his eyes, there’s a little red in his irises. Jesus Christ, he was beautiful.

“I’m Taeyong,” He offered his hand, then you shook it, still mesmerized by his exquisiteness. Taeyong, then, started to entertain you with his stories, never leaving your side until people started to slow dance in the middle of the hall. He excused himself then walked towards a pretty woman. You watched as almost everyone danced. Chaelin was with a boy you remembered named Doyoung. Seeing everyone enjoying themselves, it felt lonely suddenly. Out of place, even.

Then for the third time that night, Jaehyun met your eyes across the room. He’s got a wine glass in his hand while looking at you. Then seconds later, he drank all the contents, leaving the glass to the care of the waitress. Jaehyun walked towards you, every step making your heart beat louder, faster. He walked the earth like he’s a king. His mere steps could make the world stop on its spinning.

Then he’s standing before you, offering you his hand.

“Are you gonna dance with me or…?” He asked, the baritone of his voice sending you shivers. You locked eyes with him then took his hand. His eyes, never leaving yours too.

The slow music lulls the whole place with its softness. Jaehyun held your hip in one hand, and your hand in the other. Your heart maybe thundering, but deep in it, you know you’re in the safe place. You’ve never felt like this your whole life— like you’re becoming something other than the girl you are. There’s an ember inside you as you looked at Jaehyun’s eyes. A small fire waiting to be ignited. His familiar scent whiffed your nose as he spins you away and towards him. The familiarity of his face is staggering, yet you blame your dreams for it.

Your faces were too close, so close in the edge of the music. One push, and you’ll kiss in front of the people. One push it all it takes— then the music stopped. You held on to each other for a bit longer before Jaehyun guided you towards your table.

“I’ll get us drinks,” He whispered.

Your head was still swimming with the feel of dancing of Jaehyun when Johnny approached you, eyes bright. He automatically has his hand lifted for a high-five.

“Hey!” He called out.

“Happy birthday, Mr. Seo!”

“Please, just Johnny Y/N.”

You practiced the name with your mind before saying it out loud, “Happy birthday, Johnny!”

“There! Better!” He laughed but stopped when he saw the wrapped gift above your table, “Is that for me?”

“Uh, yes. I’m sorry this is all I could afford.”

“No, no, Y/N! Whatever is this, I’ll cherish it.” He smiled at you, “What is it by the way? You know, I really get too giddy whenever I receive gifts.”

“Oh, a portrait of you.”

His mouth formed a big ‘O’, asking for permission to open the gift, you told him yes since it’s his now. Johnny’s eyes bore an amazement that made you flustered. He stared and stared at the portrait.

“Wow, I am really touched, Y/N. Thank you for this.” Said he. You waved your hand to tell him it’s alright.

But then his eyebrows creased, his face shows an expression that of remembering something. Then he put his finger on his lips, contemplating the portrait.

“I know someone who had a similar art style as you,”

“Really? Who is he?”

You waited for Johnny to answer, an unfamiliar agitation rests in your bones by every second that passes of not knowing who the person might be. Then he snapped his fingers, creating a sound.

“Yes! I remember now! You have the same style as Aurora!”

If Johnny could clap, he absolutely would. You sat there, speechless. His other compliments were drowned by your screaming thoughts.

Aurora.

He said your art style is similar to Aurora’s.

Whoever she might really be, the mention of her name— specially in real life— never failed to send shivers down your spine.

You gulped and asked Johnny, “Who is Aurora?”

“None of your business,” The man behind you answered. Jaehyun.

You wanted to tell him she’s not ‘none of your business’. She was a product of your imagination, she was. And now the people around you knows her name. Johnny knows her. Jaehyun calls out for her name in your dreams. Your intuition tells you something is going on. But your throat has gone dry. No matter how much you wanted to tell Jaehyun that you dreamed about Aurora often, no words came out of your mouth. Your body feels heavy. And you know, you’re scared. Scared of the answers once you ask.

Aside from night black hair and blue eyes, who really are you, Aurora?

—

#jung jaehyun au #jaehyun imagines #jung jaehyun imagines #yuno imagines #nct imagines #nct au #yuno au #pls leave some feedbacks i would really appreciate it!!#tHANK YOUUU!!!

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