#Fuck The Dev Gnomes

[textheslightlymorelimited]

Currently trying to no-hit the Everhood Secret Bosses.

Not having too great of a Time here right now.

[leafytaffy]

What to do when you want to enjoy this media that also means a whole lot to you but are hesitant because of this huge drama surrounding the creators that made more than 50% of the fandom dip

[doubledeadstudio]

It's criminal how no one has said something about the gnomes in the new update (im really late, I KNOW) THAT PART WAS MY FAVORITE, IT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY and holy shit, this is my first time seeing a gnome with piercings, PIERCINGS.

I know it's not something revolutionary or amazing to some but holy shit, I love you and your creativity Dev, KEEP THE GOOD WORK!!!!!! YOU CAN DO ITTTT!!!!!!!!

Thank you, anon, bc when I tested it, nobody thought it was funny while I was laughing my ass off writing it LMFAOOO.

[maeve-is-annoying-about-books]

Sure I'm a little tipsy I can do one more post about my Dungeon Meshi brainrot let's go with what I think the DnD generic stat bonuses would be for each race.

The most modern DnD seems to just be going by the rules "+2 to any one stat and +1 to another". Which is very cool and I like it a lot and use it in all my games but let's pretend it's release year of 5th edition and I'm a very cranky tabletop rpg dev who's trying her damndest to figure out how to game-ify Kui-sensei's world/ Okay? Okay let's go

Spoilers and stuff in some of my reasonin'

Tallmen: Are NOT just the human stand-in. No they get +2 Constitution and +1 Charisma. It's incredible how much stamina Laios and Kabru have, no matter how many times they're resurrected. And as we know, in Dungeon Meshi, being revived eats away at your constitution. Tallmen seem to have an easy time building fat and doing cardiovascular activities. Also Marcille tells us humans are uniquely talented in music and dance. Laios... Is not that so it's still largely based on personal skill so it's the +1 stat.

Elves: +2 to Intelligence and +1 to Dexterity. Elves are lithe and graceful if they're trained but their real strength is the sheer amount of time they can dedicate to study. It's absolutely endless and their control over spirits is exact as a result. It's very wizard-like, where they need to memorize formulae and prepare accordingly for the task at hand. It's part of the reason I think Marcille casts explosion so much, it's not cast with elven magic and really easy to just throw out there.

Dwarves: +2 to Strength and +1 to Intelligence. Dwarves are also long-lived, and apply that knowledge to their craft rather than magical study most of the time. They're also strong as FUCK. Laios is powerfully built for a Tallman and Undine threw him with just a shot. Namari and Senshi, though? They easily held up shields against a literal water jet. They might even be too strong, they get tired really easily if Laios' time in a dwarven body is any indication.

Half-foots (Half-feet?): +2 Dexterity and +1 Wisdom seems right to me. They're light, nimble, and often very aware of their surroundings. Honestly it's a little hard to decide if Wisdom of Dexterity should be the high score since both are so fundamental to what we learn. Half-foots are often VERY perceptive of their surroundings, whether they want to be or not. To the point where Marcille can't focus on her spells in the form of one because everything is so loud around her. But light of foot and nimble of sneaking and blessed of aim are also core to what we see throughout the series so... It really is a toss-up to me.

Gnome: Gotta go with the +2 Wisdom, the primary casting stat for faith-based casters. Gnomes put their beliefs into the spirits and entreat their help, which is very much like clerical casting and requires, I think, a lot of natural intuition in the world to know when a spirit will be helpful. For the other I'm going to say +1 Constitution. If you noticed, I have one physical and one mental stat for each race so I don't wanna say +1 Int and break my streak. But also I have no basis for +1 Con except for 5e Rock Gnome and the fact that they often probably have to deal with the consequences of unruly spirits. I'm just saying, if Falin and Marcille's teacher can be that calm about an EXPLODING DEATH JAR they probably have some extra oomph behind them. Probably my weakest reasoning honestly.

The others: Uh... Shit there are a ton I don't know I'm sleepy. Come comment what you think if you'd like to have some fun g'night everyone.

[zorlok-if]

if the zorlok cast were bg3 characters, what would they be and what kind of decisions would they make?

I'm assuming you mean who they would be in BG3 and not what kind of characters they would play. Also, hmm, don't want to give away spoilers here, so if you look below the cut you can see what I think they'd be up to (just beware of spoilers).

Tommy: Human, Level 9 Warlock (Fiend + Chain) / Level 3 Bard (Valour)

Dev: Wood Elf, Level 11 Rogue (Thief) / Level 1 Warlock (Archfey)

EJ: Human, Level 12 Sorcerer (Wild Magic)

Adam/Eve: High Elf, Level 7 Cleric (War) / Level 5 Paladin (Vengeance)

Lucía: Half-Elf (Wood), Level 7 Ranger (Gloomstalker) / Level 5 Rogue (Assassin)

Ciel: Lightfoot Halfling, Level 6 Barbarian (Wildheart) / Level 6 Druid (Moon)

Danny: Drow (Seldarine), Level 9 Paladin (Oathbreaker) / Level 3 Warlock (Fiend + Blade)

The Celestial: Aasimar Forest Gnome, Level 10 Wizard (Transmutation) / Level 2 Cleric (Knowledge)

Rose: Human, Level 12 Bard (Lore)

[Beware of Spoilers Below!]

Tommy

Not romancing anyone (obviously, he's 15)

Best friends with Wyll, Karlach, and Gale. Shadowheart is too cool for him, he's way too intimidated by her. Lets Astarion do whatever the hell he wants. Lae'zel scares the shit out of him. Adopted by Halsin the moment he meets him.

Just wants to hang out with the cool tiefling kids

Very easily persuaded by Raphael. Wyll and Karlach are constantly trying to talk some sense into him.

Aylin is the coolest person he's ever met

Sobbing his way through the horrors of Faerûn—I can see him in a little crumple at Withers feet, blowing his nose on Withers' decaying robes as bone daddy breaks the fourth wall and stares into the camera miserably

Eventually hardens into a truly terrifying force to be reckoned with (Karlach is very proud)

Tommy has two hands, one for Scratch and one for the owlbear

Dev

Romancing non-Ascended Astarion and fucking Halsin occasionally, Lae'zel and Shadowheart are xyr besties (xe forces them to get along), Gale amuses the hell out of xem, Wyll and Dev are constantly trying to one up each other's stories

It's either Ethel or Volo, whoever xe comes across first, but that eye's out of xyr head comically fast

Just wants to talk shit with Withers all day, hates that he never has much to say to xem

Wants to kick the shit out of Rolan but keeps saving his life somehow

Always covered in blood. Like it doesn't make sense half the time. How did that much blood splatter on xem? Why is it still on xem?

EJ

Absolutely head over heels in love with Gale, friends with and trying to fix everyone, Astarion terrifies them but they won't give up on him, they know there's a good person hiding beneath that veneer

Panicked and accidentally yeeted a gnome

Tried a tadpole once, wasn't for them

Holding Gale's hand and squinting through every dark space

Sleeps cuddling the owlbear and is always covered in feathers

Adam/Eve

In a relationship with Lae'zel, didn't get along at first but Laez grew to respect A/E and A/E was charmed by Lae'zel's... strengths. Shadowheart is their sister, hates it when the girls are fighting. Friends with Gale and Karlach. Doesn't trust Wyll fully. Never let Astarion join them. Immediately enamored with Halsin but Lae'zel is... stronger.

Normally out of spell slots cause they're terrified of long resting

Loves potions and alchemy, will stop every 30 meters to pick yet another sprig of balsam

Doesn't make deals with villainous beings. Doesn't trust any voices in their head. Doesn't respect any gods they come across.

Loviatar loves them

Lucía

In a relationship with Karlach, best friends with her and Wyll, had a crush on Shadowheart before meeting Karlach, never liked/trusted Astarion and staked him the minute he tried to put his fangs on her throat, Jaheira is her idol, probably left Lae'zel to die (cause she didn't want to upset Shadowheart)

Speaks to every single animal, picks every single lock, looks in every single barrel, fails almost every charisma check

Scratch is always by her side

Will go to Hell for her besties 😉🥲

Ciel

Dating Shadowheart, really close with Astarion and Minthara... But, seriously, they have a big redemption arc. They grow and change alongside Shadowheart, both goth edgelords are completely changed by the end

Starts the game eating every tadpole (like the Guardian barely has to suggest the idea, it's already in their mouth) but goes one step too far and suddenly becomes terrified of what it means to be monstrous(/illithid)

Diplomacy? Ha. Sorry, that's not for them. They only like talking to animals and corpses.

Loves permanently seeing invisibility...

A loot goblin, their high strength score is great for fighting and jumping and shit, but mostly for the increased carrying capacity

Mol is their idol

Danny

I'm honestly not sure who they'd be in a relationship with, I think they'd be close with everyone but I don't think they'd be in a headspace for anything more than friendship over the course of the game, maybe after the fact they'd grow closer with Shadowheart but that would just be my headcanon, they wouldn't romance anyone (no matter how much Withers mocks them for it)

They are doing everything they think is right in the moment, though they'd regret rash actions later

They empathize greatly with the undead and hate people like Balthazar who twist them to their will

No one threatens a child in their presence. Well, no one who's still alive.

They cannot pretend to be under the Absolute's thumb, they are going in swinging every time, no chance for diplomacy or manipulation

They pick up a teddy bear early on and it never leaves their inventory

The Celestial

In a physical relationship with Halsin, slept with Astarion but now they're just very good friends, sees Karlach, Wyll, and Shadowheart as eir children, loves and is very intrigued by Lae'zel, doesn't like Gale at all (cannot and will not trust a wizard like him)

Always has the Disguise Self spell going, and it's always a different disguise

Eir traveler's chest is filled with the weirdest collection of random shit you've ever seen: noble portraits, rotten eggs, gold chalices, a couple goblin corpses, poutine, 30 mindflayer tadpoles, etc.

Chats with every corpse, even the ones ey killed

Lorroakan can (and does) eat shit

Despises everything about Orin, zero redeemable qualities—even her shapeshifting, eugh, it's so... crude, no grace or skill

The moment the Celestial learns Otto's Irresistible Dance is the last moment Faerûn knows peace

Rose

In a passionate romance with Wyll but he's very good friends with everyone (they are all his children)

Does everything within his power to avoid violence. Will charm, sing, and sneak his way across Faerûn

Adopts every child and animal he comes across

The hardest thing he has to do is tell people to stay in camp. Why can't everyone always be in his party? They all make him feel so bad...

Always taking long rests (doesn't want people being tired or hurt) and spends an hour cooking a delightful meal with Gale every night

[ashleander]

PIZZA TOWER SPOILERS AHEAD!

The following includes content from the Noise update! Do not click if you haven’t finished it yet! This sums up my experiences with it! So prepare to see me ramble how much I LOVE this update! Feel free to skip this post entirely if you’re here for my art!

~MY THOUGHTS ON THE NOISE UPDATE~

Hey, I’m back again! I just wanted to share my thoughts with the update! I will eventually try to make an art piece about it soon! There might be multiple! This update can’t leave my damn brain.

General Thoughts on the Noise:

We finally get to see the Noise as a playable character! This update made like the Noise even more! There’s too many screenshots to count. I think he’s now one of my favorites! I can totally see his personality and quirks throughout his sprites! God, he’s such a piece of shit and I love him for it! I love how he breaks a lot of the rules here (I’m not going to list it, you can see for yourself). I also think it was cool to see the entire game just being played as a movie but Noise is the “star” of the show (as shown in the ending screen). Also, you couldn’t tell how happy I was seeing Noisette having more of a role here! Grahhh I love her so much! Fuck I gotta draw these two together more! They’re way too cute! What a fun and silly update! I might draw them next!

Playing as the Noise:

Getting used to this guy’s moveset took me a while! He demands significantly more button inputs than everyone else. He can also feel quite fast and slippery! I definitely got bumped into a wall many times after he finishes his skateboarding bounce move (no not the one where you have to press the grab button) But I have to admit, once you get used to the little tricks he has then you should be fine! His transformations also play very differently so that’s also something to consider.

For my first play through, I decided to aim for all the secrets and treasures! I already know where everything is at this point since I practiced it multiple times! I managed to get three P ranks (John Gutter, Fun Farm, Gnome Forest). I wasn’t used to his moveset yet so a few levels in World 4/5 were only A ranks. I aimed for the secrets and Gerome but I didn’t take the second lap.

The bosses were also fun to try! Definitely easier to P rank than Peppino’s for sure! I just didn’t care much about the ranks the first time I played it. I gotta say the end part gave me chills! I don’t know it felt trippy for a moment!

I ended the first game with 93% damn Noise fuck you and then I replayed to get the 101%. Seeing Pillar John in a Noise costume was unexpected but funny!

After practicing his moveset (& attempting to get the Tower Guy clothes which I STILL haven’t because some levels are a pain in the ass), I was able to P rank the rest of the levels! I also got the funny Snick outfit. He turned out to be faster than I thought. I think he’s now my favorite character to play in Pizza Tower! Oh and there’s swap mode! Pretty neat feature! I don’t have much to say about it. Seeing Peppino’s house was cool though… I also had to tally Peppino because I didn’t feel like doing the chef tasks again.

But yeah pretty cool update. The devs cooked on this one and the music’s great! Can’t wait to see where it’s going to head next!

[collectibles-menu]

Lets see what you probably missed:

Dark Web Spider incident

System Corruption incident

The gnome war, which happened to occur during the corruption incident

An Ice Person, Jordan, is dating Nef and Sel in a poly.

Two developer lead world-ending scenerios at the same time

Terro, the interrobang responsible for interrobang war, and Adonis, the world eater virus, battled Tyria, one of the Devs trying to create a patch that would doom all sentience

Nef and Sel dueled Gabriel, the other Dev that was making an army to wipe out exclamania, in a fight they werent likely to win, but survived anyways.

Gabriel is presumably being tortured by a radioactive prototype of The Contingency, a dev-designed super weapon

And Prof finally got to fucking sleep for once. He's going to miss that bed very soon, seeing as Tyria escaped her infinite death loop, thanks to a hacker/dev who intends to wipe out an entire civilisation

Okay... I was there for that... and that.. also that... ... ...devs.. DEVS. WHAT IN THE-

[Colli takes a second to collect themselves, white-knuckling their desk before sitting down and taking a deep breath.]

The world nearly ended multiple times and I slept through all of that okay cool-

[In spite of having just woken up, she already looks tired.]

[rutilated-quarz]

The tumblr sexyman polls and mcytblr sexyman bracket were super fun, so I thought I'd run a small one with my own OCs ^_^ Links to the polls will be added as they go up!

Ennui vs Ruti

Flux vs TBN

Synchronicity vs Roulette

Lumin vs Electra the Moth

Warden vs The Alchemist

Null Pointer vs Callum

Ren vs Neo

Quarz vs NitroLock

More info about the characters can be found under the cut!

Ennui

[profile link here]

Originally a D&D-inspired OC, now just a general OC

Lich that was so so shit at magic when he was alive but now that he's dead he's actually sort of decent at it

Worldhopper - he travels between universes, using a jury-rigged super powerful explosion spell to catapult himself into a different universe by destroying the one he's currently in.

He only cares about one person, and that's his demonic boyfriend Alu. Anyone else can get fucked, as far as he's concerned.

Ruti

[profile link here]

Technically a general OC, but mostly used for minecraft.

he was born on a minecraft skygrid world all alone

Body is comprised almost entirely of solid magic. He can shapeshift, but only really uses that to change if he has legs or not.

Never got taught how to control his magic, so he has to use an enchanted mask to hold his power in - this has the side effect of compressing his magical body mass enough that he has to forgo the wings while it's on to avoid spreading himself too thin.

Can eat a lot of things normal people can't eat. Like diamonds. And swords.

Flux

[profile link here]

General OC in the same world as some of my and my friend's kinsonas

Her species infects the brain of other species, appearing as a sort of ghost or hallucination until they mature enough to become physical, bursting out of the host's body and killing them in the process. They usally give their host immense bloodlust and taste for raw meat. [mmm flux hungy feed her tasty prion diseases]

On that note, the most lame and cringefail of her entire species. She's supposed to get her host to kill and stuff like that, but she mostly just annoys and makes fun of him.

TBN

[profile link here]

General OC, worldhopper.

Shapeshifts whenever it goes into a new world to match the appearance of the creator-inserts or gods of that universe. [e.g. would look like the annoying dog in Undertale/Deltarune, would look similar to the Dev Gnomes in everhood, etc.]

It chooses a different name for itself in every universe it goes into. [It's called Showtime in my JJK AU that has it, and Usurper when I put it into a Digimon world, for example]

Any world it enters immediately splits off into a different timeline with its arrival, and that timeline dies/disappears as soon as it loses interest and leaves.

It's fiction-aware, and totally chill with that - mostly because, considering it's my sona and thus an extension of me, it's pretty much in control of the narrative. If it were to ever lose that control, it would likely become incredibly paranoid and anxious.

Synchronicity

[profile link here]

Minecraft OC

One of the fair folk, lives in the deep forest and would quite like not to be disturbed.

Finds great fun in tormenting whatever non-fae might cross their path

Thought NitroLock_ was fun to 'play with', so when they got his name, they kept him around to do some work for them.

Kind of sadistic, sometimes. Usually. Most of the time.

Has stolen peoples blood to use for sympathetic magic before

Roulette

[profile link here]

General OC

Demon, under the domain of luck and gambling.

Plays the part of a carefree hedonist, but almost always knows more than she lets on.

Knows how to use people to get what she wants, and has no issues doing it.

Lumin

[profile link here]

Originally designed as a general oc, but quickly adapted into a Cosmosdex (Tegyp) OC.

Almost never wears a shirt under his open suit jacket, unless he's pretty much forced to.

Kind of an alcoholic. Tries to pretend he's a fun partyboy, but he just gets all miserable.

Very into modifying robots. He claims he improves them, but he's fucked up a perfectly good Cupid unit is what he's done. Look at it, it's got anxiety.

Electra the Moth

[profile link here]

Sonic OC, builds and codes robots for a living.

She has built a robot that she considers her son, so she could technically be a MILF, if you're into that.

Mega autism and hyperfixated on engineering. Would love to infodump about whatever her current project may be, and gets super attached to everything she builds.

Warden

[profile link here]

General OC. He's the god of space-time and oversees a large collection of worlds and thus deals with worldhoppers semi frequently, despite not being one himself as he only really exists in the space between worlds.

Has gay thoughts re: one of his coworkers/fellow gods. But he'd never admit it

Kind of stuffy and stuck-up

Dear god, I forgot he was originally based on G-Man from Half Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware

The Alchemist

[profile link here]

Minecraft OC, an AU of Ruti.

Basically what would've happened if Ruti grew up with other magic users who could've taught him how to use his magic.

It speaks primarily Standard Galactic.

Never calls people by their names, instead using a title/other noun ["shopkeeper" or "friend" or "thief", etc.] because names have immense power in a language as soaked with magic as Standard Galactic is, and that habit carries over into other languages.

Makes potions. Definitely legally.

"ruti" "the cooler ruti"

Null Pointer

[profile link here]

BNHA/MHA OC, but liable to become a general OC any day now.

he/she girlboything

Has the ability to lag herself out of reality for a bit; from an outside perspective, this looks like freezing in place and loosing all collision before abruptly teleporting.

Also has the ability to hack any sufficiently complex technology, as long as line-of-sight is maintained.

His mascot [the little demon dude shown next to him] shows up on the screen of any technology he hacks. Just to be cocky about it.

Generally very cocky and aggressive while fighting/sparring, or just in general.

She has 97 mental illnesses and is banned from most public spaces

Callum

[profile link here]

Sonic OC, lusts after their AU's counterpart of Eggman

the gay gay homosexual gay

Sort of a bratty little twink

The type to pick fights and then be like "aah im just a little guy nooo im just a little guy and its also my birthday im a little birthday boy"

Has a cool copper [possibly radioactive] robot arm, but usually keeps it hidden

Ren

[profile link here]

OC for Monkey Wrench [by Zeurel on Youtube]

Big bear of a man [in the gay sense]

Mechanic/weaponsmith/arms dealer

Former mercenary. Would take out entire ship crews by sneaking on under the guise of a mechanic and "fixing" their ship [rigging it to blow as soon as he got to safety.]

Neo

[profile link here]

Minecraft OC, specifically for Empires SMP Season 2

Has ice magic powers, and lives in an Ice Spikes biome.

Its moral compass is a fucking roulette wheel

Tries to be nice, but has a very skewed idea of what "nice" and "good" is.

Would probably keep you as a pet if you asked

Quarz

[profile link here]

General OC

Shapeshifter, and he uses this power for evil. [Shapeshifts into whoever he's talking to in order to psych them out, though he claims it's to "level the playing field".]

Sort of a sardonic personality, often deriding others and putting himself above them. He does it to distract himself from feeling shitty about himself, but you could never get him to admit that.

Loves to inflict terrible events and circumstances on others [my ocs. or sometimes my blorbo du jour]. It is his favorite activity

Nitrolock_

[profile link here]

Minecraft OC

Dumb of Ass

Accidentally gave their name to a fae (Synchronicity, specifically) and signed a contract to get it back. Because of said contract, which they didn't fully read before signing, they now owe them a bunch of other stuff, too.

Being made to use customer service voice is the one thing that could truly break their spirit. I believe this wholeheartedly.\

so. so tired. emotionally physically mentally the whole thing.

Used to be part of a formidable PVP duo with their sibling Necrolock_, but the two of them have kind of drifted apart.

[eighthdoctor]

"#...enter jaina monsterfucker extraordinaire--" Ok, based on this tag, do you have any headcannons about how cross-racial relationships are viewed in Azeroth? I also don't play the game and only read fanfic, so I'm curious if you have particular headcanons that are/n't what might actually be in the source material. Though Sylvanas might be considered actually "monstrous" by some in a way other races aren't to each other, the question still stands. Jaina/Thrall is also a popular headcanon aswell

(from a comment on @mylordshesacactus's Reunification)

The fundamental problem here is that Azeroth is phenomenally racist, and Warcraft itself is also phenomenally racist. The racism is coming from inside the house. It's baked in. The underlying idea is that race war is a real and inevitable thing and of course these groups will hate each other because they look different, and also the Evil and Uncivilized groups are expressly based on non-European real world people.

Like, in the lore, there's a handful, maybe a dozen, of known mixed-race characters. There's scads and scads of roleplayers who have PCs of every mixing imaginable, but in canon? Like, the ones off the top of my head are (a) Vereesa's children and (b) the result of rape. That's it.

So, Watsonian, we have peoples who are so rabidly hateful that there are extraordinarily few cross-racial relationships, even fewer that are consensual, even though all evidence is that everyone could interbreed (...even if they are, in fact, from space). And the Doylist explanation is that character morphs are hard and the devs are lazy and they would rather write a worldstate where no human has ever fucked a troll than put some effort into it.

The upshot of all of this is that, despite living in a world where there are, commonplace, a dozen humanoid races of varying levels of 'monstrosity', all available evidence is that Azeroth standards of 'monsterfucker" exactly map to American standards, aka, Jaina is a monsterfucker by [checks notes] having sex with Kalec in human form.

Humans don’t have relationships with quel’dorei. They don’t have relationships with dwarves, or with gnomes, or any non-human race. It’s not just human exceptionalism, for once, because there’s also no evidence of any relationships between, say, Darkspear trolls and orcs either.

Meanwhile, Jaina’s canonical relationships are with Mr Compulsory Heterosexuality, and also a dragon. Her primary fanon ships are with an orc (as you mention), a kaldorei, and…Sylvanas. Arthas aside, Jaina…doesn’t express interest in any humans. Simple explanation is that Jaina isn’t really into humans. Humans are boring, humans are easily spooked.

As I write her, Jaina’s got a million kinks, and one of them is she wants a little danger. A little spice. Something more than vanilla in missionary, something with an edge. Something interesting, something novel, Thrall has this in spades—this isn’t necessarily about playing into the violent savage thing but y’all, that size. Holy shit. Pained? Nothing but edges.

So Jaina’s not necessarily, say, into something that’s properly an eldritch abomination or completely non-humanoid—although I’m open to arguments on that front—but I’m very confident she’s after something non-human that would absolutely be called ‘monsterfucking’ by your average human on Azeroth.

(Related: It’s soooooo fucking obvious that not only do the Windrunner sisters have a human fetish, but that it’s not at all common or acceptable in Quel’thalas—even aside from the ‘walked through a portal’ bit, Alleria’s hardly in Quel'thalas after marrying Turalyon, Vereesa lives in Dalaran. There’s extenuating circumstances in both cases—Turaylon’s a dick, Rhonin has tenure in Dalaran—but it sure is interesting that our two human-elf relationships both live(d) with humans and Vereesa doesn’t return to primarily socializing with other quel’dorei until after Rhonin’s death. Then there’s Sylvanas and Nathanos, and I am absolutely not writing that as a ship but it is popularly rumored and it is something on Sylvanas’s end, that Sylvanas is into humans and can’t shake that rumor.)

[canonicallyginger]

Got a decent ways into tales of symphonia (probably less than halfway still; im mostly thru the dungeon with the gnomes) and this is one of the worst games ive ever played. I love the story and characters but the gameplay spans from okay to "they fucking knew how much this would suck" and i don't understand why the devs would have done that. None of this is good game design.

Anyway tales of zestiria is infinitely better in every fucking way. Tales of Vesperia is better in most ways (but not all)

[syrupspinner]

i just defeated The Noise's Campaign in Pizza Tower

sufficiently noisy

thanks again to anonymous for encouraging me to do this! this was way more fun than i expected it to be

granted, i didnt really bust my ass

but i see this as more of a new game plus victory lap around the whole game, both for the players and the developers as a gift to the fan community

right off the bat, the noise's wall bounce + instant dash is one of the best feeling movement mechanics ive ever used. not only does it feel great to perform as a player, it works with the level design surprisingly well? like yeah, it kinda breaks the intention behind a lot of screens, like how you just dont need the teleporters anymore in that one deep dish nine secret. but like i said, the noise is supposed to be overpowered on purpose, like getting infinite ammo after beating a survival horror game. considering this, its pretty impressive how the devs made him feel so unique from a gameplay perspective while still keeping more of the game's fundamentals intact

why does gnome forest feel better with noise than it does with gustavo. pig citys gustavo section feels like noise shouldnt be there, why does gnome forest feel so right

ummm what else. i got all the toppins, secrets, and treasures, usually in the same run. i just never really did lap 2 or keep a combo, so no p rank. i didnt end up doing chef tasks that werent incidental either, like the one in bloodsauce for the superjump that the noise's moveset makes unavoidable. a very casual run. sorry if you were expecting something more thorough and hardcore, but this run still made me sweat. a lot of that was probably the weather (nova scotia is so fucking humid right now my hair is still wet from my shower 5 hours ago) man jeeeeez these levels didnt help. war is barely doable with peppino let alone this chucklenuts

i think the noise update works fantastic both as a "lets revisit pizza tower, its been a while" and as a "i just beat the game, how about something silly and different". i cant imagine what itd be like if every game had such a substantial postgame

oh and the jokes were funny too. the noise in general is meant to be a pompous twerp and the animations really sell that. plus theres the moments i wont spoil with the bosses...

so yeah really glad i played this! really cements pizza tower as one of the greatest indie games of the generation. like, the game was already really phenomenal, but this addition basically doubled its content value. this couldve been paid dlc and still been worth it, i think! thats very high praise from a cheap bitch like me

[eruhamster]

something w that ask just bugged the fuck outta me. just hit a nerve. maybe its just bc its 9pm in the middle of the work week. im relaxing and you come into my house n tell me condescendingly what ryoko kui means over a comic where an elf is chewed out by a gnome game dev that's pissed at being asked for shit over and over

ALSO WAIT NO WAY ITS MARCILLE BC MARCILLE WAS RAISED BY A HUMAN AND AN ELF IN A HUMAN VILLAGE THAT BITCH TOTALLY SPEAKS COMMON AS HER MAIN LANGUAGE

[wp100]

did the wow devs actually do an interview and really say that gnomes are a joke race?

that shit is disappointing ngl. Mekkatorque was a badass in BfA. Mechagnomes are fucking cool if you read the comic and don't just look at their in-game model, which doesn't really do them justice if I'm going to be honest. Their fanart is way better than the in-game model

And it's sad because a whole chunk of the playerbase think they are a joke race too. That doesn't help. Is that why we never have gnome lore lol... Kinda sad. They have the most interesting lore. But perhaps it's better untouched, then it's not ruined.

[legy]

random game roundup 3

A Hell of a Journey - PWYW

what if it was the divine comedy but virgil was just an absolute piece of shit. he had no fucking idea what was going on. you have to go through hell to get to purgatory and this idiot is no help at all

this is a short & sweet twine game. the illustrations carry it. it's pretty cute and took me under 5 minutes to read

Samorost 2 - $4.99

hey i said this was random game roundup not random itch game roundup. i just have 3000 itch games

amanita design is literally like the all-timer for 00s indie devs. ive known of their point-and-clicks for basically the entire time ive been conscious. i think ive only played samorost 1 and machinarium before now.

its hard to beat the level of vibes-based gaming samorost operates on. this is what gnome tumblr is all about

apparently in 2020 this got a remaster that let the game support modern resolutions using AI upscaling on old assets, and to its credit it ran awesome for a game this old. it didnt fuss at all about tabbing out or using a second monitor while playing. however i think the upscaled assets look pretty shit? lol. like the art direction in this game is extremely strong but the raster images definitely were not meant to be seen bigger than 1024x768 and it makes the characters who scaled up much better stick out suuuper bad.

music completely rips ass tho. hell yeah brother

i actually went ahead and finished this at an entire half an hour playtime. big fan of samorost 2

T.A.R.S - $1.99

included in: Bundle for Ukraine

first thing i got struck by with this game is that it is extremely good looking for the price tag and my lowered standards. there is also a lot of voice acting which is pretty amateur but a lot of heart went into it. i could not find an option to subtitle the dialogue which kinda sucked

T.A.R.S is a third person shooter with a focus on difficulty via being killed in one hit and having very limited resources. you're fighting werewolves or something. i didn't play long enough to see them do more than just chase after me in a straight line so idk if the enemy AI is interesting

one of the big downsides of T.A.R.S is that the game is dark as fuck. shot like a modern hollywood film. like that one episode of game of thrones. i cant play this on my high refresh rate monitor because the sun is up right now and the ambient light in my room is too much and i cant see anything. also the game emphasizes wearing headphones and focusing on hearing the enemies before you see them but the sound design is um. not great. i kept getting snuck up on because the guys dont make any noises until theyre two inches away

i don't think i gave this a good enough chance but i'm not a horror fan nor am i a shooter fan so it's really not for caelums. maybe you'll like it tho

Panic Factory - $1.50

included in: Bundle for Ukraine

panic factory is a puzzler pretending to be a shooter. you are an eco-activist that has been trapped in a torture dungeon by a corporate CEO and need to figure your way out. with a shotgun. and whatever ammo you can scrounge up

the voice acting in this is very hammy and the pixel art is appealing to look at so the presentation is pretty solid. i found this difficult to spend a lot of time in because again i don't like shooters and i found that the reaction times this game expects out of you in the first level to a be a bit extreme. also required arrow keys to move :thumbsdown:

Weird Grief - PWYW

im so fucking sorry for how hard i laughed

i honestly really liked this. weird grief is a twine about the immediate aftermath and slow recovery after the death of a loved one. and you are poly. and furry. it has explicit sex scenes so watch out for that. but this is worth reading imo

[stellaefz]

I love linux

Funny story from today's afternoon, my ethernet port wasn't working.

So I started investigating why that was with iwconfig -a And all I got was lo and wlan0, which is weird, there should be enp1s0 or eth0 which made things even weirder, how come wifi is working but not cable?

After a brief search, I decided to look into good old /etc/NetworkManager/NetworkManager.conf which revealed to be blank... I restarted the service, nothing... Okay? I wasn't using netplan either... What the fuck is going on? I added common rules to it, and it didn't fix the issue either

At that point I had lost faith and said "fuck it" and started scrolling tumblr until I saw a stupid meme and for some reason it reminded me "Wait, if it's on the device list then I should check if it's listed on lspci because if it's there then it means the computer is detecting it, otherwise it's probably something in the BIOS" and I did just that and found out that the kernel module wasn't in use... and of course, dmesg confirmed it.

From that it became kind of obvious why it wasn't working, the fucking kernel module wasn't loaded! Well, after using modprobe *module_name* dmesg finally gave some output but of course still no internet- Oh for fucks sake!

Oh, of course, I have to turn it on :)

ip link showed that it wasn't up soooo.... ip link [dev] up and FINALLY cabled connections were working again.

Why did it happen? How? I have no fucking idea, there was literally nothing on the internet about this specific issue, and other GNOME users reported similar problems but they had very different solutions and reasons as for why it was like that. udev rules didn't make sense either, it was a mess

And things like these are why I love bleeding edge linux, every time you learn something new, you learn how to deal with unexpected things and in the end it ends up being a funny story.

[klayfruit]