#GOD SOMETIMES I JUST HATE THIS WOMAN SO MUCH LIKE IS SHE AWARE THAT 60% OF TIMES I WISH I WAS DEAD IS BECAUSE OF HRR | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bratshaws · 2 years

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goodness gracious 76. brb x oc

THIS FIC IS 18+ ONLY! MINORS PLS DNI!

a/n: sometimes I don't call for the smut the smut calls for me uwu

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: healthy relationship is based on TALKING, s m u t , god they are so in love i fucking HATE THEM ( jk i love them)

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2 @emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads

Beatrice stood by the sink, waiting for the tub to fill up, in a way that made Rooster stare at her in questioning. Her arms crossed over her chest and her body almost curled in a way it’d hide most of herself, one leg partially tilted over the other as she leaned on the floating counters. He didn’t know what was going on, but it reminded him painfully of their first time together.

He curses internally, thinking that if his attitude was enough for her to feel so uncomfortable to that point he probably hurt her more than she let on. When the tub is filled and already smelling really good, he turns to Beatrice whose eyes never leave the water’s surface, “Baby, do you want me to get in first?” green irises rose up to meet him, but she nodded with a small smile. No vocal response, that was getting worrisome.

Beatrice’s form doesn’t change position once he’s in the water, her eyes now staring at nothing to the side and her arms even tighter around herself. “Baby.” he calls, gently, almost as if he’s trying to pry her off those dangerous thoughts he was sure were running in her head, “Aren’t you coming in?” he should prepare himself if she suddenly changed her mind, he wouldn’t like it, but he’d respect it no matter what.

The relieved sigh that left his lips however couldn’t be stopped, seeing she slowly started removing her own clothes - a bit too quickly, almost as if she wanted it to get over with - and he had almost no time to admire her body like he usually did before she got into the water…on the complete opposite side of the tub. He inhaled shakily, fear climbing up his spine like an angry spider ready to bite. “Bea.” he calls again, softly, making her worried eyes turn over to him, “Baby, come here.”

Her body moves as if she wants to, but something holds her back, her lower lip disappearing inside her mouth as she chews it anxiously, “I…” she didn’t feel pretty, or sexy that day. The words that woman tossed her way still haunted her hours later. Rebound. Tubby. Rebound. She knew it wasn’t true, she knew Rooster, but the doubtful anxious part of her brain couldn’t understand that at all.

“I’m sorry for what happened, I–”

“It’s not you, Roos.” she cuts him off gently, rubbing her wet arms with both hands, looking to the side, “It’s just my brain is not helping me.” she whispers the last part, lowering her lids almost as if she’s ashamed of admitting it. She’s made so much progress and all it was needed was some random weird woman show up and make her doubt everything she ever worked so hard for.

And her boyfriend, while not fully aware of the whole reason, was already taking it on himself to make her feel better, “C’mere gorgeous.” he tries again and this time Beatrice does scoot closer, lying sideways on his chest with her arms still close to her body and her cheek on top of his warm pectoral. Bradley sighs gently, lowering his mouth to her head to kiss her scalp as his own arms wrapped around her, like a protective shield, “Your head can be very wrong a lot of times. Whatever it’s telling you, it’s not true.”

Beatrice just hums a weak reply, her eyes focused on the water ripples around his bent legs and her arms, “Do you want to share it with me? You don’t have to hold it in.” he questions, his mouth still on her scalp. She doesn’t reply, nor shakes her head negatively so he has to pull back to look down at her. Beatrice drags her big green eyes up to his face, her lower lip jutted just a bit, but her face still had the same worried mask on.

He inhales, bringing her higher against his chest so her face is on the crook of his neck. Bradley then kisses the side of her face,rubbing his thumb on the outside of her wet arm while his other arm is wrapped around her waist, “I don’t know…how to explain.” she finally whispered, which was more than she said hours ago.

“I’m not in a hurry to go anywhere, so,” he whispers, kissing her temple this time, “Take your time.”

Beatrice’s back expanded with a deep breath she took in, for courage no doubt, the warm breathing hitting his neck when she exhaled, “...something happened today- I mean yesterday.” she corrected, remembering it was already past midnight, “Someone…um, showed up.” he showed no change in his body, he was still listening, “And she ah…well,” how could she say this and make it make sense? Even if part of her brain was screaming that it wouldn’t work. “She said she knew you.”

That made him still completely, the hold on her body tightening just a bit and Beatrice tilted her head to meet his eyes, seeing they were already looking down at her with a mix of worry and anger swirling in those whisky brown irises, “...and she…well…” she looks away, ashamed once more as she remembers the words she used to her, “She said some things to me.”

“What things?” his tone was hard, but not at her, she could feel it wasn’t directed at her.

“Just…” she didn’t want to repeat it, but she knew she had to so Rooster would know, “...well, she…ah…” it was harder than it looked but she was thankful he wasn’t pressuring her on saying it faster, “She just said you– that you.” do not cry, don’t you dare cry right now. She swallowed the lump in her throat, clenched her eyes to stop the burning of tears, keeping them closed when she tells him everything, “She said she didn’t think you’d be so desperate to be with me and…t-that you needed a rebound because she moved away and–and she called me…names.”

Beatrice feels his arms tightening even more around her, his body now tensing up visibly. She opens her eyes to check his face and she doesn’t think she had ever seen him so distinctly angry, looking like he’d murder anyone within his path. His nostrils flared, his tongue moved inside his mouth as he took in the information, “She saw you?” Beatrice nods, which only appear to make her boyfriend even angrier, “Fuckin’--” he doesn’t finish the sentence, she’s not sure if it’s because he was raised right by his mother and doesn’t usually talk bad on women or because he was too mad to actually finish it.

“Roos?”

“I can’t fucking believe she went to you, how the fuck did she– I need to talk to Mav about this because she can’t do this shit.” he growls under his breath, the tendon on his jaw popping when he clenches it, “First she tries contacting me, which was already a fucking annoyance but she goes to you?? I’m not going to let her get away with this.”

Beatrice blinks up at him, pushing herself upwards so she’d be face to face with Rooster, “Wait, what? She contacted you?”

“Came out of fucking nowhere, I thought I blocked her on everything but it’s so possible she made a new account.” he groans, he was so angry he was starting to fidget in the bathtub with Beatrice still in his arms, like he was ready to jump out of it and fight someone, “We never had anything! We went out once and she started pulling this bullshit about how we were going to date, asking me about my parents and whatnot…Jesus Christ, this isn’t right– did she hurt you?”

“Well…not physically.” she murmurs, looking down at her hands, “She just,I guess she brought some of my fears back onto the surface, you know? And it…it really sucks.” because now she couldn’t get rid of it, she could not erase them from her mind. Bradley’s expression softened, he was still angry she could feel it in him, but he hugged her close, kissing the top of her head before adjusting her on his lap after lowering his legs.

“You are not a rebound.” he whispers against her hair, inhaling the lavender shampoo with his eyes glaring at the opposite wall, “You are not a replacement for anything, you are you. You are the woman I love and I fell in love with you for who you are. I love you, babe. I do. You are the most beautiful woman in the world.” Beatrice’s cheeks turned red and her eyes shone with tears she didn’t want to shed, “I’m so fucking sorry she showed up like that, I…I really am.”

Beatrice smiles softly, her cheeks flexing enough to force a few tears down, tears that he either kissed away or wiped with his thumb. Her heart fluttered happily, even if her mind still disagreed with his words, she felt more at ease when he said that. She knew she was right deep inside, she knew the goblin voice was wrong - again - and that Chloe was wrong just as much, “I love you too.” she whispers in a shaky voice, sniffling a bit, trying to hold back the other tears that tracked down her cheeks, “It’s not your fault that she…showed up, you know?”

“Still, it was related to me in some way.” he murmurs, murder written all over his face, “She can’t do that, I don’t now if it counts as harassment or something but it’s bullshit.”

“Evelyn was there when she showed up.” Beatrice says,her body slowly easing some of the tension from before, “So…she called her dad and just that was enough to make her scurry away.”

Bradley looked up at her with his eyebrows slightly furrowed, then he thought of her words with his eyes to the side, “Yeah, it’d make sense, Cyclone can have a talk to her new superiors and tell them what happened. It won’t end well for her.” but he was still very annoyed by everything. How the fuck dare she go to Beatrice and tell her she’s a rebound. Rebound??

God he was so mad.

But his focus right now would be Beatrice,talking to her and making sure she understands that whatever Chloe told her is not true, “She started saying some stuff about you too.” Beatrice says softly, making circled on his chest with the tip of her index finger, “That…well, she said a lot of dumb stuff and I guess,I got really mad at her. I don’t know, she talked about you like you were…an idiot or something, and it fucked me up really bad.”

He didn’t know why he was surprised, knowing Beatrice, she’d be upset if she hurt her but she’d be downright furious if she messed with someone of her family, her friends but especially him. Even the little knot between her brows showed that she was getting even more upset just talking about it. Bradley’s lips twitched into a smile, his anger dissipating into adoration as he props his chin on her shoulder, “And you defended me.” she nods, without hesitation, “...God I don’t deserve you.”

“That’s not true.” she whispers, “Why would you say that?”

He couldn’t elaborate why, his own demons probably prevented him from forming an eloquent sentence that’d show why he felt that way and she’d still not believe him, “You are just…” he shrugs, not finishing his sentence yet again, but there was no anger in his tone, kissing her cheek soundly with his hands dropping from her body to hold her own, turning her to rest her back on his chest in the process, “Just you.” he interlaces their fingers together from behind her, her hands were so much smaller and softer than his.

Beatrice tilts her head back to look up at him, her pink lips parted showing parts of her white teeth, the movement gave him enough space to lean down and kiss her forehead, then trail kisses until he reached her neck, where he stayed, her soft hair touching his chin and chest, “You know I’m crazy about you, right?” he asks against her skin, making Beatrice nod in front of him, “You know there’s not a single woman in this whole wide world that drives me as insane as you do,right?”

Her smile returns, “In a good way?”

He squints his eyes playfully, “Most of the time, but I do like when you are a bit bad and tries to get something out of me.” he replies, bringing his lips to the curve of her jawline, loving how it made her giggle softly.

“I know Roos.” she whispered, “And while my brain sometimes gets…really bad, I know it’s just because of my own self doubts. I know you love me and I know that sometimes I still get…I know my mind gets the best of me.” he bends his legs up once more, caging her against his chest so he could keep her close, “I don’t doubt you. My brain may sometimes make me think I do, but I really don’t…it’s a bit confusing.”

Bradley chuckles, still kissing her soft skin and sighing against her neck, his body relaxing just having her there. “I know babe,I know.” he he drops one of his hands from her hold to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, rubbing his knuckles on the curve of her jawline, “I know your brain can be a bit of a brat and annoy the hell out of you and there are times it’ll also get the best of you.”

“Yeah…”

“But I’ll be here with you to get rid of those thoughts,” he assures her, her face breaking into a shy smile when she looks his way, “No matter what.”

“Even if it makes no sense?”

“Even if it makes no sense.”

Beatrice’s cheeks reddened, her smile getting even wider before she turns around and wraps her arms around his neck in a hug, their chests touching with the embrace and the water made it a bit hard for them to keep close since they were so slick but they did a good job. With his face buried on the curve of her neck and one of his hands on the back of her head, Rooster’s voice breaks the comfortable silence, “I thought you left.” he says softly, running his fingers through the brown strands, “When I didn’t see you, I thought you went back to your place. I got…I panicked.”

“I’m sorry.” was her reply on his shoulder, her smaller hands cupping her arms to keep herself close to his neck, “I had to use the bathroom and calm myself down a bit, Jojo followed me carrying my bag thinking I needed it and we stayed there for a bit. I honestly didn’t hear you calling me, I’m sorry.”

He hums against her skin, closing his eyes in relief “It’s okay.” he whispers, pulling his head back the same time as she did, her sweet apologetic smile only warming his heart even more, “I forgive you.” she laughs softly at his response, cupping his face with her hands, rubbing his cheekbones fondly before she kisses his lips in a quick peck. “We should wash up.” he comments, while his hands move to her thighs under the warm water, spreading them enough to make her straddle his lap, “But, I’m honestly thinking about something else.”

“Oh?” she asks with her lips hovering over his, “Is that right?” He nods, kissing her once more but this time the kiss was a lot deeper and his huge hands traveled all the way back to her behind where he cupped each cheek with gusto, pressing her front of his and making Beatrice gasp softly into his mouth. Beatrice’s hands traveled all the way up to his sandy brown hair, a groan vibrating his throat at the feeling of her nails touching his scalp, gently tugging the strands.

It doesn’t take too long for Beatrice to feel what he means, quite literally. She adjusts herself on his lap just enough for him to slowly slide in, a whiny sigh going past her lips when he hilts, her arms draped once more around his neck. She breaks the lip lock to look down at him, his eyes partially open as well and his lips red and flushed from kissing, one of his hands going from her buttcheeks to her back then her chest, sighing out when her hips moved slowly on top of him.

“Fuck, you are a fucking vision.” he whispers, watching how her brown hair darkened and glued to her skin because of the water, how her cheeks flushed a darker shade of red, how it traveled all the way down to her chest like a beautiful crimson wave. Beatrice’s only response was a quiet moan, her hips moving in a wave motion, her arms still wrapped around his neck to keep her steady.

The warmth of the water, followed by how warm their own bodies were was actually having a cooling effect on both of them for some reason, he couldn’t understand how since there wasn’t anything in the water that would cause this effect but he wasn’t complaining. Beatrice’s green eyes were now only a ring because of her dilated pupils, her lips parted, shiny and pink, like fresh berries he wanted to bite.

Neither of them were in a hurry, which considering everything that was spoken about minutes before it could be understandable. It wasn’t only about pleasure, there was reassurance in both of their movements. The unspoken words of ‘I’ll never leave’ were being said by their bodies, the ‘I love you’s’ and ‘I’m sorry’ was more than enough for them. Bradley’s eyes never left her body on top of him, not even looking at her flushed chest but directly on her face.

Beatrice drops her forehead to his, her arms lowering from his neck so her palms would be on his chest, one of them right atop of his heart. He could endure the worst situations, the most dangerous missions but he could never see himself without her. “Bea.” he calls softly, making her eyes blink open, unfocused but then meeting his, “I love you.”

“I love you too,Brad.” she replies, her voice breaking into a moan at a specific thrust coming from him, her nails digging on his pectorals just enough to make him wince but not enough to make him stop. He just had one of his hands on her ass, the other was on her upper back, fingers tangling with the wet strands of her hair.

He wanted to tell her, to ask her now, what he wanted to do. He wanted to let her know how much she meant to him, how much he wanted her in his life…but no, not now, not when they were both having sex in a bathtub, she’d think he’s saying it just out of emotion instead of it being thought out completely.

Just a few more days, then her birthday, then the move and then he’d work on it. Right now he should enjoy this. And he was. Beatrice moaned one more time, her hips moving a bit faster to meet his, the water sloshing around them with a few drops of water falling on the tiles. He groans deeply in his chest, with Bea’s lighter one following when both of them decided it wasn’t going to last too long, the laborious movement was no longer going to be needed right now.

He cups both of his hands on her ass, giving himself some leverage while Beatrice yelped out a moan, holding on the edge of the tub behind him when his hips moved much,much faster than before. Her moaning was broken, chopped murmurs of his name trailed of her lips while her other hand clenched around his shoulder, “God!Brad!!” she whines, pressing her face to the muscle on his neck, trying her best to keep up with him. Beatrice’s whines got louder, her moaning sharper and the water kept on splashing on the floor creating large puddles that undoubtedly would be quite dangerous when they stepped out.

He breathed heavily against her neck, his nails digging on the plush flesh of her buttocks and hips, until neither of them could prevent what happened. Never, in neither of their lives, had they ever felt such a thing before. Never had them ever climaxed with someone else at the same time.

Beatrice’s hips convulsed and her voice cracked, while Bradley’s cursed moan alongside his hips thrusting shallowly onto hers added to the sounds around them. With her hips still moving with aftershocks and Rooster’s doing the same, neither of them acknowledged what just happened until a few minutes after the high had finally passed. Beatrice whined on his neck, hips moving just a bit with him still inside of her before he lifted her head, “Brad?” her boyfriend was breathing heavily, leaning his head back on the edge of the tub and exposing his heavily flushed throat for her eyes.

Bradley’s eyes fluttered closed, still sensitive over the orgasm they both shared and keeping his hands on her lower body, “Fuck, baby…” he mutters, biting back a groan when she moved on top of him “Fuck that was good.”

“It always is.” her reply makes him grin, lifting his head from the edge to meet her eyes, her shining eyes and equally shining smile with her hands cupping his cheeks and bringing their lips together in another slow romantic kiss but lighter than the deeper one from before, “Are you okay?”

“I’m always okay.” he smirks, pecking her lips a few more times, “I think right now, we should finally wash up.” he chuckles against her mouth, making her laugh at the same time, agreeing with him.

The pizza was only ordered minutes after they were both done and smelling fresh and clean as he called them. They were both enjoying it on the couch, not so different from that time he was about to go to her aunt’s wedding, watching Rupaul’s Drag Race - season 11 this time - with Jolene chewing on a few doggy treats that Beatrice brought along.

Beatrice couldn’t keep her eyes off of Bradley as he sipped his soda, her legs on his lap and one of his hands rubbing her calf repeatedly. He felt her eyes on him, his lips quirking in a smile with the glass still tilted up, pulling it back to look at her, “What?” he asked gently, loving that she was wearing just her long shirt and comfortable Beetlejuice cotton shorts that showed so much skin.

She hummed, chewing her pizza with the same smile he had on his face,”I’m just thinking,”

“About?”

“Stuff.”

“Ah,” he nods as if he completely understood what she meant, putting his glass on the coffee table so both of his hands are now free, “Of course, stuff. What is this stuff you are thinking about?” she was so happy they were back to normal, especially with her brain being quiet and no longer putting seeds of doubt in her.

Beatrice smiles, licking her fingers clean of any sauce and keeping eye contact when she does so. Bradley’s brown irises dropped to her digits disappearing, one by one, inside her mouth before being popped out with a soft sound, “Just thinking about what’s going to happen when we move in together.” he hums in response, still looking at her mouth and fingers, then moving his eyes back to her own amused gaze, “We could look some stuff up tomorrow and you know, check when it’s available for moving.”

“Yeah,” he agrees with the same smile, “I think it’s fair. I think we can find a good place soon.”

“I can call my cousin Gabriella if you want, she’s a real estate agent.” she suggests, “She helped Leo find his house, so.”

“It doesn’t hurt to try.” he grins, grabbing the plate from her hands so he could crawl on top of her, supporting his weight by her sides, “I know what we can do the moment we move in,” he coos, dropping his lips to the curve of her jaw. Beatrice makes a questioning sound, which makes him reply with, “I think we should christen every room, at least twice.” that makes a laugh break out of her lips, tilting her head back and exposing more of her neck to his lips, “It brings good luck.”

“Uh huh,” she replies clearly not believing him, “And where did you see such a thing?”

“Somewhere, I don’t know.” Another laugh comes from Beatrice at his nonchalant reply, “But I know it’s good.” He kisses her throat a few more times, pulling his head back to look down at her. Her lips still curved into that beautiful smile, her hands coming up to rub his cheeks. His heart thudded wildly just by thinking about it, thinking about their future together, “I can’t wait.”

“Neither can I.” she says, her eyes softening the longer she looked at him, “I’m a bit nervous but..it’s the good type of nerves.” she reassured him immediately when he stilled on top of her, his body relaxing when he sighed out a breath. “Did you tell anyone about it?”

Bradley purses his lips, then tilts his head partially to the side, “I had to tell Mav, he was…really happy.” to put it mildly, he feared he’d give his godfather a heart attack by the way Pete was looking at him all wide eyed and opening and closing his mouth, “I’ll tell the others later.”

Beatrice nods, then pauses,looking to the side, “I think…I told Shells,Penny and Ev…without really noticing.” she whispers, meeting his eyes again, “When uh…Chloe showed up I kind of let it slip, so…I’m surprised Shells hasn’t messaged me yet about it.” but maybe it was better this way, she’d tell her parents last.

Rooster sat back down on the couch, pulling her alongside him so she could sit on his lap, kissing her temple with his arms wrapping around her waist, “We’ll be fine.” he tells her, but the words held more weight than just about moving in together. It was about everything. It was a promise both of them planned to keep.

‘Yeah.” she whispers back, smiling while looking at the TV, “We will.”

#bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x reader

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grahammasurian · 3 years

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Dumping Your Responsibility.

The dumpster outside my apartment building was completely overflowed. The truck missed a couple weeks for some reason and people just kept piling their shit on top regardless.

“My sin will be forgiven, the next sinner will go to hell!”

This came into my head whenever I thought of the garbage situation. I considered myself 99% innocent since I didn’t use the dumpster during these couple weeks. Unfortunately when disaster happens it doesn’t care how much you were involved, all it sees is your darkness.

What I could have done was call up our landlord. Maybe I didn’t add directly to the trash pile but I still could have brought attention to it. Unfortunately my mind gave me a great reason for not calling him, a wonderful why even bother type of belief. These curses will kill you but they provide immense relief.

He lives someplace nicer and keeps his back turned on this building, so if I don’t tell him anything he’ll keep believing whatever fantasy he’s living. Whenever I bring up something for him to look at he puts it off or conveniently forgets about it, can’t say I blame him. I'd love to do the same sometimes and then feel guilty about it for the rest of my life. It’s hard to convince myself that a life of eternal guilt is worse than a life of hard work. Maybe the simple solution is to just disregard the guilt and make everyone despise me, though I can’t say that seems like a good long term strategy.

I guess everyone likes to avoid responsibility too, don’t get me wrong I get it, because man it sure feels good to not take anything seriously, just sit back and relax through life, I’ll lay down in my bed and fold into a quarter circle. Pull my knees up to my chest and gently hold myself, like swinging in the breeze floating along to somewhere better.

Eventually some birds had a war over the trash that was at this point spilling everywhere, old food, old clothes, plastic shit, maybe real shit. It was a disaster but seemed to be an appropriate punishment for us. I watched a seagull pull apart a bag for 30 minutes, something about the completely boring and ordinary scene held a power over me. I imagined this feeling of our civilizations being consumed again by nature, it’s easy to forget that nature is constantly trying to integrate us more effectively. Integration with an ocean with a mysterious intention.

We could have salvaged things there, rescued some of our dignity and just accepted responsibility for what we did by not doing. I sat some nights debating whether or not I should just go out there and clean up everything alone. I didn’t mind the day, but at night I just loved how things seemed to come to life inside me. There was a power that I didn’t have access to during the day.

I decided it wasn’t worth cleaning up, after all I don’t really care what these people think of me, unless they express it to me. Plus I felt like I fit in better with my environment as a lazy drifter. When I run into the people that live here occasionally there is enough willpower on all our parts to say “Hi” and then move on our way. The two people that live under me, man and wife, maybe around late 50’s early 60’s always give me a glimpse into a possible future. The guy looks like his soul has been sucked out and not in a good way. It scares me for a moment and I tell myself I’ll keep it in mind but my actions don’t change.

The next week after the missed pickup and our experiment with apathy, something happened.

It was 12:33 AM, I was laying down in my bed with the window open, listening to the wind and feeling the slight breeze on my skin. Sometimes I’d lay there for hours listening to music or in silence, using drugs of course. The sounds of the night combined with distant sounds of the city created the backdrop for the worlds I explored in my mind. I break away from the atmosphere and write some ideas down in some form then go back to my mind.

I heard a familiar sound, the mother of this girl screaming in that resentful kind of way. Whenever someone talks that way to me my stomach gets sick, I see this person is using me to escape from something. You know instantly that this isn’t about you anymore, it's about them.

I hated the way this mother yelled at her daughter, I didn’t have kids of my own but I didn’t mind them, I generally see children as innocent beings until they gain awareness. When they become aware they turn into wood, hopefully they make it through and become real but many don’t. Some play as the twisted craftsmen, shaping the world with design. Night after night I’d hear this poor girl being molded into something that will make her unhappy for the rest of her life.

Even though it’s hard to feel connected with darkness, you still elicit feelings for things of the night. You react more on principle and not bigger picture at night, this mother was injecting venom deep into the mind of her daughter. Like a jackass I sat there each night it happened and listened to it like music.

Being man enough to walk down there one day and call her out on her shitty behavior was always in the back of my mind, but then I would think some more and figure what difference would it make? Sometimes I snap out of my delusions and wake up, I see who I am from up here.

Just look for the right words.

It didn’t happen every time but sometimes this warped girl would dash outside, slamming doors and shouting behind her. Most times I’d hear her small steps pace around or walk down out of earshot then eventually I’d hear her again coming from the other side of the building, maybe doing two or three laps like that before cooling off and gaining enough strength to go back. She feels like she just wants to give up but chooses to continue to face that fate which shows just how much courage she had.

This night the young girl made her usual escape, something about the scene caught my attention. Normally I just ignored it for the most part, but tonight I felt worried for her and listened to see if she was okay.

The shriek of her screaming scared me sober. That kind of pitch that you can only get when you feel real terror.

Confusion at night amplifies fear to a level that can go beyond anything you’ve ever felt. Sometimes hearing a loud noise randomly in the middle of the night only to realize it was something conspicuous is an interesting moment of tension and release of tension. When you listen to death it creates tension that doesn’t go away unless you force it to release.

I couldn’t see much but the sounds made up for the rest, I looked on in horror as this poor unfortunate girl came running towards the front door to come back inside. She must have forgotten to prop it open a little this time like she usually did. The door was shut, she couldn’t escape through there and it was the only chance she had time to try.

This whole thing happened so fast it was as if my mind refused to think about what I was seeing, this bear that must have smelled some food nearby came across her instead.

Hearing someone produce screams that come from a dangerous place, sends a painful shock through you. It would have been nice if I was one of those people that got off on that kind of thing but unfortunately I had to deal with the feelings of misery, dread, sadness, fear, anger, all at once.

A little bit slower than what should have been immediate there was incredible energy from all around, people coming out and making noise, not too many but enough for me to be impressed.

The general sentiment at the time was:

“Oh My God!” A big fat lady wearing a shaggy blue sweater screeched out. There were many other intense shouts, deflated yelps, sobbing murmurs, all mixing together slowly creating the atmosphere for a tremendously horrific scene.

All these half awake people, semi-disconnected souls felt something deep down within them for once. For the first time in decades some of these hopeless people felt alive, they acted without thought calling back to our primate ancestors. They witnessed a driving force, without realizing the lesson unfortunately.

Some of the people approached the girl to try and attempt some kind of help and others stayed away, accepting the situation or too afraid to know how bad it really was.

Some sobs were heard throughout the night as people came and went, voices that sounded defeated, voices that sounded ready to give up and heavy with guilt.

“Emily! No!” The mother cried. Obviously still drunk. Obviously deluded into thinking her daughter is anywhere close to alive.

“Please baby I’m so sorry! Please wake up baby!”

I had great disdain for this mother, but at that moment I felt bad for her. This woman made mistakes and in the end all it causes is suffering.

They came for her daughter, whisked her away into the abyss forever. Black cloaks riding into the stars on their skeletal horses. I wasn’t sure whether or not the constant beating I was hearing was a drum or my heart. We summoned these demons with our ritual, the choices we made were acts of incantation that brought forth monsters with the power to possess mortals, the possession was the final step in ensuring resurrection lest one of us snap out of the hypnosis and rescue the rest from the gaze of Medusa.

Then some downcast EMT workers took away her body, from the low looks and words after immediately coming upon the scene it was clear that hope didn’t exist anymore. I never saw the aftermath personally, where the actual attack happened was obscured to me by the awning over the door. Sometimes imagination makes things worse.

The mother followed her daughter into the darkness 3 weeks later.

#creative writing #short story #tale #journal #writeblr

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #384

“watch your tongue or have it cut from your head”

Do you post to say happy birthday on other people’s walls? Sometimes. Depends on my mood and the person. When was the last time you saw a rainbow? Idr. What’s your favorite television commercial? I don't watch TV enough at all to have one. And who has a favorite commercial, anyway? Do you trip a lot? I don't really trip a lot, but kinda fumble over my footing and stray a bit. I'm horrible at walking straight, and it's gotten worse as my legs have. How old is your television? The one in the living room is god knows how old. My parents were still together when they bought it. When did you last talk on the phone with someone? A couple days ago for my appointment with my psychiatrist. Are you currently sleepy? I'm quite convinced I'm permanently tired. Are you hot or cold natured? I am ALWAYS fucking hot, ugh. Do you take any advanced classes? I took mostly Honors classes in school. Do you have weak upper body strength? My body is just weak as a whole. What is the worst insult someone can call you? Emotionally weak. Are you good at sketching? If we're talking meerkats, haha. They're the only complex thing that I can freehand no problem without needing a reference, honestly. Ever play Angry Birds? Nah. I thought the movie was cute, though. Have you ever been to the zoo before? Yeah. Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you? No. Are you afraid someone might steal your identity someday? It's not something I actively worry about at all. Like, you don't want my identity, I promise. Do you have any talents that come naturally? Growing up, adults always told me I was a "gifted" artist and writer. Also that I seem to have an unnaturally strong connection with animals. I've always been that person where a pet's owner is like "omg ____ never lets people do that" and whatnot. Have you ever had plastic surgery before? I haven't. It's funny though, how opposed to it I used to be... Like goddamn, I was such a fucking stupid and honestly judgmental teenager, regarding many things. I look back on her and cringe. Like damn dude, if you have a safe surgical procedure to help you enjoy the body you're stuck with the rest of your life, you go for it, boo. Are you afraid of airplane rides? Not really. What’s the best Valentine’s Day gift you’ve gotten? There was this one year where Jason had to go to work on Valentine's Day and I was super bummed, yet he still surprised me with a heart-shaped box of chocolates, roses, and a game I really wanted, Heavy Rain. I thought it was the sweetest. What is something you lose often? My phone. ;-; Do you enter a lot of sweepstakes? I don't enter any. Do you consider yourself physically active? *chuckles nervously* Do you have Netflix? Yeah. Favorite salad dressing? That Olive Garden replica you can buy at the store. Do you enjoy dancing? Once upon a time I did. My body could never handle it now. Have you ever considered writing a novel? Many times. Snow or sand? Snow, by twenty thousand miles. It is VERY hard for me to walk through sand, and I also hate hate hate hate HATE the sensation. Do you like sour candy? Heeeeeell yeah man. Have you gotten any injuries lately? If so, what & how? Nothing notable. Are you a clumsy person? Like you would not fucking believe. Last male you talked to in person? I think my primary physician's nurse. Are you thinking about asking anyone out? No. Pink lemonade or regular lemonade? Pink lemonade, for sure. But I love both. Chocolate or strawberry milk? CHOCOLATE. Strawberry milk is disgusting. Have you ever won a contest on the radio?No. Is there a song that reminds you of your best friend? There's quite a few. Has a book ever made you cry? Yes. Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up? Yes, for the time. Do you know anyone who has a pet bunny? Not that I'm aware. What store or website would you most like a gift card for? Rebel's Market. How do you feel about wolves? I adore wolves. Beautiful, majestic creatures with very interesting social dynamics. Name your top 3 favorite musical instruments. Electric guitar, violin, piano. What was the last book(s) you bought at a bookstore? At an actual bookstore, I think it was The Fault In Our Stars, which I never actually read. Do you use Pinterest? Yes. Do you know any sign language? No. Do you have a favorite poem? No. Do you have a dog? No. The one we were pretty much stuck with has a home now. Have you ever read The Little House on the Prairie series? I haven't. Have you ever gone on a service trip to an underprivileged country? No. Have you ever performed in front of more than 100 people? Yes, for dance. When (if ever) was the last time you went to church? Forever ago, I don't even remember the last time. What's a quote you think is really powerful? There's a whole lot. The first one that came to mind was, "An eye for an eye will leave the world blind," which I do believe has great depth in it. Have you ever had to do your laundry at a laundromat? Yes. Are you the oldest person who lives in your household? No. My mom is turning 60 (... I think?) this year. If you have tattoos, how long have you had them? I got my first the day I turned 18. Do you and your dad have similar personalities? We're alike in some ways, imo most notably in that we have NO fucking common sense, embarrassing as that is to admit. We're both kinda slow at understanding things, too. What were the last three things you had to drink? Mountain Lightning, milk, and water. What did your family usually do for Easter when you were a kid? Us three kids all got Easter baskets full of stuff, and we'd go egg-hunting when we were all awake. My little sister Nicole would always wake our parents up in excitement, haha. My parents hid plenty throughout the house, and there was always this one "special" egg that was actually from Mom's childhood and was extremely intricate and beautiful. You basically "won" the hunt if you found it, and it was extremely well-hidden. When you have house guests over, where do they sleep? Historically since living here, my two half-sisters and their spouses (the only people who've stayed over) slept in what is *technically* Mom's room, but for whatever reason this woman still insists on sleeping on the couch in the living room, I guess because she's used to it after all the years she didn't have her own room and bed. Are you emotionally stable? LOLOOLOLOOLLOLOOLOOLOLLOOLOLLLLLLLLLLL Do you still talk to the very first person you had sex with? No. Are you an atheist? No. I don't quite know how to define what I am, but since I believe there's SOME higher power, I don't think it's fitting to call me an atheist. What’s the largest bug you’ve ever found in your house? Hm... I'm unsure. Probably a male mosquito, 'cuz them bitches are big'ins. Would it annoy you if a stranger called you "sweetie?" If it was a man, I'd be creeped out. Are you into fashion design? Not really. What’s the worst thing you’ve gone through in the past year? My leg muscles continuing to degrade, honestly. I have to do something about this shit. How did you get your last bruise? I fell when stepping over the stupid dog gate. Have your parents ever forgotten your birthday? Yikes, no. Would you rather have some bacon or beef jerky? Bacon. Do you like your orange juice with lots or no pulp? NONE. Do you wear skinny jeans? Back when I wore jeans, they were the only kind I wore. What projects are you doing now for school? I'm outta school. What’s the most number of comments you have on a Facebook picture? What is the picture of? I have no idea. Do you like coconut flavored things? No. Have you ever met a famous author before? No. Do you know anybody who has been raped before? No, thank god. I know someone who might've almost been, though. I don't know what the fucking pig was going to do to her if my sister and I weren't there. Have you ever wished for bigger boobs? No. Being overweight, I just want smaller ones now, haha. Have you ever gone a full day without interacting with another person? I've gone many days without it. How many relationships have you been in that lasted less than a year? Four, if you're counting everyone that had the "boyfriend" title. Where were you going the last time you were on a plane? Home from Illinois. Where were you going the last time you were on a train? I've never been on one. Have you ever been significantly more physically fit than you are now? Holy fuck, yes. You would never guess now that I was perfectly healthy in high school especially, yet I still thought I was kinda fat. It hurts so much to look back on. When growing up, did you parents keep the house very tidy? I mean not excessively, but Mom was pretty dedicated to keeping the house in decent condition. With three kids though, of course the house was somewhat messy with toys and all. When you shop at IKEA, do you always stop to eat a snack/meal in the cafeteria? ... There's a fucking cafeteria in a furniture store? o_o I've never been there before. How many watches do you own? None, save for one in my "treasure box" from when I was a kid. I was SO SO SO obsessed with Finding Nemo that I kept my broken one. I did the same with my horribly aged sneakers, like the soles were coming off and Mom finally made me stop wearing them, ha. Are there any ways in which you greatly differ from everyone else in your family? I do fucking nothing and am useless to society. Should teenagers be allowed to have their cell phones with them in class? Yes, because emergencies happen. I personally think it's best to maybe have your cell phone flipped over on the corner of your desk or something and on vibrate, that way the noise isn't too disruptive and the teacher can see you're not just using it for other purposes. Do you have any gay relatives? Yes. Have you ever had to have a pet put down? Sigh, multiple. Have you unfollowed, deleted, or blocked anyone on social media recently? If so, what was the reason? Not recently. How many cups of coffee do you typically drink per day? None. Do you know what your vocal range is? No, but it's not very broad. What’s the biggest financial mistake you’ve ever made? I haven't been in this position before. Have you ever been in a relationship where there was a large difference in maturity levels? No. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? I wanna say over a month while we were technically homeless. How bad was your acne when you were a teenager? Oh dear, it was rough. Like there were people who had it worse than me, but ya girl was lookin preeeetty rough lmao.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''hail to the king'' by avenged sevenfold

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staticscreenwriting · 5 years

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All you have to be is here - Part 3

Synopsis: Billy has fucked up and has to do 60 days of community service at a home for troubled kids and youth. Working with the kids there makes him learn a lot about himself. Also there’s a girl there his age who’s smile is phenomenal and who is way too nice to him.

I guess I should mention there’s a lot of angst in this. Talk of substance abuse later on, physical abuse, emotional abuse. All that kind of gnarly real life stuff. It deals with kids and teens struggling with a a shitty family life so be aware of that.

Part 3 of ?

Part 1 // Part 2 //

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please. I’ll make a header image at some point.]

I never really ever felt so adored before Never really ever felt this type of vulnerable Don’t have to hide, don’t have to fear All you have to be is here Never really ever felt so adored before And I said I wanna feel like this forever Even if forever’s just for now We’re on fire, let us burn As the outside world, it turns We are here and alive In our corner of time Forevermore

The rain knocks heavily against the windows of (Y/N)’s flat as Billy slowly strolls around the living room.

“ Feel free to put on some music, there should be a tape in the player “ (Y/N) hollers from the bathroom. The door is slightly ajar and Billy can just about catch a glimpse of her lathering her lips in a bright red color.

There’s a cassette player on a side table, next to some books and some picture frames. It’s held together by entirely too many pieces of shiny grey duct tape. Billy wonders just how well this thing is still working. Then again, he of all people, should be the expert on broken things working just fine.

As he presses play the opening chords of Bennie and the Jets start filling the room, making Billy screw up his face in disapproval.

“ Elton John ? “ he asks, raising his voice a little to make himself heard over the music.

“ Fuck yeah, he’s a musical genius. This song is so catchy. “

He’s about to skip the song, hoping the next one to be something more suitable to his taste, when he sees her through the crack of the open door. She’s dancing along to the song, mouthing the words and shaking her hips as her hands work on styling her hair.

He stops himself, keeps the song on, if only to see her move like that. She’s cute and who is he to deny himself the pleasure of seeing a cute girl dance. And to deny her the pure joy of listening to a song she likes.

His eyes drift towards one of the picture frames, it’s made of dark wood and it looks quite heavy. In the picture there’s a little girl with a bright smile and a gap between her front teeth. Those eyes staring back at him, he’s seen before. He looks at them every time he arrives at HHTCY. She looks happy in this picture, there’s a bunch of daisies in her hair and she’s holding onto a popsicle. Next to her is a woman who has the same hair color and the same smile and she looks at the little girl with an adoration he’s hardly ever seen in a person before.

“ That’s my mom. I mean — it’s pretty obvious but yeah. That’s her, “ (Y/N) speaks up from beside him. She’s all done up, her lips a cherry red color and her hair styled to perfection. She looks great, he thinks. Then again, she is naturally that pretty so this shouldn’t be a surprise really.

There’s a lot Billy wants to say then, most of all he wants to ask what happened. To the happy girl in the picture and the mother that looked at her with love that is almost palpable through a photograph. You don’t ask people that though. You don’t ask people why they used to be happy and why they aren’t anymore. The woman in the picture though, she doesn’t look like someone who’s kid would have themself emancipated at 15. It looks like another life all together.

Billy wonders if his mom ever looked like someone who’d abandon her family. Who’d leave her son with a cruel cruel man. A man she knew was gonna turn her son into a monster. He wonders if other people saw that in her, a woman who’d run. He didn’t. Maybe he was just too young or maybe he just didn’t want to see it. Or maybe mom was just good at hiding the person she truly was. A quitter. Not a mother after all.

The unshakable truth is that she’s gone god knows where and he’s not going to find an answer to any of his questions so it’s best to lock those thoughts up in a chest and bury them deep inside himself where no one can find them and none of it can hurt him. Not anymore.

“ You ready to go ? “ he asks, trying to steer the conversation into another direction. Any other direction.

- OOO -

Tina Warren lives at the end of a cul-de-sac. Her light blue house with the white columns and the big front lawn stands proudly in a sea of several other houses that look exactly the same. Like little doll houses mass produced for the perfect suburban family to spend their perfect life in these walls. Billy thinks it’s a bit ironic. He knows that Tina’s dad fucks his secretary and that her mother throws back diet pills and painkillers as if they’re tic-tac.

But it’s alright, right ? As long as the lawn is exactly the height it’s supposed to be and the paint on the door doesn’t chip and everyone is smiling. God, all of this is so fucking fake. It all feels artificial and wrong. Plasticy. As if someone took the town and replaced all the residents with barbie copies of themselves.

“ Is this Tina’s house ? “ (Y/N) voice janks him from his thoughts.

“ Yeah. You know Tina ? “

“ I mean, I don’t know her personally “ (Y/N) replies and shrugs her shoulders making the slightly too big denim jacket slide down her arm a little, “ I’ve heard of her though. Her uh — skills are quite talked about. Also I’ve been to a party here before. Don’t think I ever talked to her though. “

Tina Warren thinks her pussy is magic. Thinks that once she sleeps with a guy it inevitably turns him into a lovesick fool for her. That, he knows, is bullshit. It’s not as magical as she thinks it is and everyone is either too nice or too desperate to tell her otherwise. And really, he respects her for her decisions in a way. People, Billy believes, should be able to fuck whoever they want if no one gets hurt in the process and both parties are willing participants. He just hates the fact that Tina makes a big deal out of nothing. Hell, she showed up at his fucking house when he didn’t call her back after — well afterwards.

The house is filled with people, most of them Billy recognizes from passing them in the hallways or staring at the back of their heads during class. None of them are his friends though. He had friends in California. Real ones. Ones that — that tried to see the good in him. That knew and wholeheartedly believed there was a person in him that wasn’t just the monstrous creation of his father’s rage.

He had friends. Past tense. None of them called since he’s moved here so he assumes the don’t care so much anymore.

As he walks through the house, (Y/N) on his heels, he can feel the crowd’s eyes on him. When he first arrived here, he thrived at the admiration. He liked when the girls threw themselves into his arms and how the guys seemed to look up to him. The novelty of it all has worn off a while ago though. Now it’s a nuisance. The guy they all seem to admire ? That guy is an absolute asshole and Billy hates him. Though that’s the role he’s played since a very young age, since he was left to face his nightmare all alone. That guy is tough, he’s cold and bulletproof.

If that’s the guy he needs to be to survive, it’s who he will be. Doesn’t mean that’s who he wants to be though.

He maneuvers his way into the kitchen which is way less crowded. As he takes a beer from the counter he can tell why, they’re lukewarm. Disgusting.

“ This is honestly the worst punch I ever had “ (Y/N) exclaims and Billy looks up at her, standing by the bowl of punch, red solo cup in her hand.

“ Beer is lukewarm “

“ Ok great so it’s either pisswarm beer or terribly mixed punch. So much to chose from “ (Y/N) chuckles before grabbing one of the beer cans.

“ I’d rather drink this than whatever that concoction pretends to be. Whoever mixed that has no taste buds, I swear “

As if on cue, Tommy storms through the door, throwing his arms up above his head all the while sloshing his drink everywhere. “ Hargrove ! “

“ Tommy. “

“ Hey man, have you tried my punch yet ? It’s real fuel, my man. Real fuel. “

Tommy’s punch, huh ? That explains a lot. Where Tommy is loyal to those he thinks will benefit him, he is dense as a poundcake.

“ Dude this punch sucks. “

Tommy turns towards (Y/N), who he hadn’t seemed to notice just a minute ago and now she was occupying his full attention.

“ Who are you ? “

“ (Y/N), who are you ? “

“ Tommy ?!”

“ You say this as if I’m supposed to know. Either way, Tommy, your punch tastes disgusting. “

Tommy looks at Billy as if asking for help which only earns him an indifferent shrug from the boy.

“ It’s not. I uh — I’ve only heard good things before. People like it. “

“ Or they just don’t wanna hurt your feelings. Taste it man, it’s shit. “

To Billy’s surprise, Tommy actually walks towards the bowl and pours himself a cup of punch only to screw up his face in disgust at the first taste of the sugary liquid.

“ You might have a point. “

“ What did you put in there ?”

“ Uh — everything. “

“ Everything ? “ Billy asks, inserting himself into the conversation for the first time since it started.

“ Yeah. Just poured in whatever I could find in my dad’s liquor cabinet. Rum, Vodka, cointreau. “

“ Jesus christ “ Billy scoffs and takes another sip of the lukewarm bear.

“ Thomas my friend, maybe you should let other people handle the punch next time. Or at least stick to one kind of alcohol “

Tommy nods and reaches for a can of beer “ I guess. “

As he leaves the kitchen, Billy can’t suppress the chuckle leaving his lips.

“ He’s not usually this reasonable when I tell him he’s being a dumbass. “

“ Probably because you tell him he’s a dumbass. Also you’re not nearly as cute as me. “

She has a point there. Not that he’s ever going to admit it. But she does have a point.

“ Ah shit “ (Y/N) cuts in before Billy can even reply to her comment.

He follows her eyes towards a group of people entering the house. Two of them he’s never seen and the other one is Keith Kinsella. Keith is rich, that’s all Billy knows. He’s rich and his mother drives a Porsche that he gets to borrow every once in a while.

“ What are we looking at ? “ Billy asks, unable to figure out the shift in mood just then.

“ Keith “

“ Why are we looking at Keith ? “

“ He’s my ex boyfriend and I don’t wanna have to socialize with him. “

That is something Billy hasn’t expected. Keith is so — so Keith. He is one of Hawkins typical rich kids who seem to think a bad hair day is the end of all things. A kid who seems so fundamentally different to (Y/N).

“ Keith ? Keith Kinsella. “

“ Look I am not judging your taste in girls, alright. I — he was nice. Then he fucking cheated on me like the pig he is. That’s how I know people from Hawkins High. Keith introduced them to me when we were together. Even introduced me to his other girl, although I didn’t know at that point that that was what she was. I gotta get outta here. “

“ You wanna leave ? “

“ Nah. I just need to get some air. Just — just come find me when you’ve got enough of this. “

With that she finishes her beer and grabs another can before rushing towards the back patio doors leading outside where the rain had stopped a while ago.

Billy tries to mingle, tries to enjoy his night. It just all feels wrong. Like the shine has washed off and all that he’s left with is a dull hollow feeling. All these people don’t give a shit about him and he doesn’t care about them either. It’s nothing personal, really. If this was another life where time hadn’t made him numb and bitter, maybe he’d be friends with a bunch of them. It’s not a different life though. It is here and now.

He moves around the party clouded in a haze. It’s like for the first time since he’s arrived he finally sees his situation for what it is. A desperate measure to cope with his emotional turmoil. He doesn’t like these people, the music sucks, the punch is toxic and the beer is lukewarm. And when before he could push all those thoughts to the side, he can’t do that any longer. Whatever has shifted in him makes him painfully aware that none of his coping mechanisms work anymore. There’s no desire in him to drink his pain away, to fuck a random girl and forget about life for a short moment. He just wants the world to stop for a single second. To be able to breathe.

It’s about an hour later that he steps onto the back patio, the same beer still clutched in his hand. It’s a warm night and he should be able to see the stars though the backyard is illuminated by all kinds of fancy garden lights and he can hardly make out a single star. He wonders if rich people like the Warren’s just don’t give a shit about trivial stuff like looking at the stars. Maybe the artificial light means more to them. He wonders if they know what they’re missing out on.

There have been countless night, back when things were — different. Nights that Billy has spent in his back garden sitting beside his mom and looking at the night sky. And she would tell him stories about all the different constellations. Looking back now, half of her stories were probably made up bullshit, but Billy liked them anyway. They always fascinated him. It felt like the world was so much bigger than he could even begin to grasp. He truly believed there was more out there than the tiny house he was stuck in, where anger lived and sadness and yelling. Always yelling.

Now the sky is just a sky and stars are just stars and made up stories don’t give him hope. Looking at the sky now makes him feel very small. Very insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

(Y/N) sits at the end of the patio, legs tucked beneath her, can of beer by her side.

“ You alright with some company ? “

“ The company you ? “

“ Mmh. “

“ Then sure. Sit down. “

They don’t talk for a moment, just take in what lies before them. A lawn that looks like a carpet it’s that neatly cut. It’s bordered by perfectly symmetrical hedges and at the far end of the garden there’s a wooden pedestal that proudly presents the family’s own hot tub.

“ Do you think people live here ? “

“ Huh ? “

“ I mean — “ (Y/N) starts then takes a breath as if considering her words carefully “ — do you see people actually going about their lives here. Pigging out on chinese takeout on their white suede couch and having a water balloon fight on this lawn ? “

“ Not really no.”

Because it’s a fucking doll’s house. A movie set. People put on a show. They always do.

“ Me neither. I know I am always wishing for better things. A better job, a better apartment, a better car. But honestly, looking at this makes me cherish what I have. Maybe materialistic things really aren’t all that matters. “

“ I like your apartment. “

He really does. It’s so unapologetically her. She’s present in every corner and every crack. Her personality floods the halls and makes them — hers. And he is forever envious of that.

“ Yeah ? Well the couch is yours whenever you feel like staying over. “

Being welcomed into someone’s life is a weird feeling that Billy has entirely forgotten about until just now. He’s so used to being a footnote in someone else’s life that it makes him feel strange when someone deliberately and consciously chooses to welcome him into theirs.

“ Your cat needs to learn how to respect personal space first. “ he laughs but really he already looks forwards to sleeping on her tiny couch again.

“ Can’t believe you dated Keith Kinsella of all people. He’s — he’s Keith.”

“ Yeah so ? “

“ You ever met a single guy called Keith who didn’t turn out to be a complete dumbass ? Like a massive fucking idiot ? Have you ever met a single Keith you could trust ? “ Billy asks, raising his eyebrows in question.

(Y/N) screws up her face in confusion for a moment then shrugs her shoulders “ I guess you have a point. “

“ I always do, babe. “

“ Do you huh ? Well I’ve never met a William I could trust before either. “

“ Good thing no one ever calls me that. It might as well not be my name, honestly. William is a little kid somewhere in California, chasing seagulls by a beach and listening to his parents argue. I’m Billy. Just Billy. “

“ Well, “ (Y/N) exclaims and pushes herself to her feet before reaching out his hand “ I think just Billy is a pretty decent guy. So does just Billy wanna get the fuck outta here ? “

When he takes her hand, the world for a small moment feels like it allows him to breathe. So he takes a breath wishing things could feel like this forever.

- OOO -

After assuring her multiple times that he’s only had half a lukewarm beer and is okay to drive, Billy and (Y/N) cruise around Hawkins for a while with no place to go, no direction, no destination.

That’s until (Y/N) makes him stop by a gas station and wait in the car as she goes inside. She doesn’t answer any questions about why and what but honestly, Billy doesn’t care. He’s just glad to be spending time with someone that a) doesn’t hate his guts and b) isn’t so dull and boring it makes him want to bash his head against a wall repeatedly.

A glance at the clock in his car tells him that it’s just a few minutes to midnight. How ironic. A gas station of all places huh ? It’s weirdly fitting.

(Y/N) hurries back into the car, a small plastic bag clutched in her hand.

“ What’d you get there ? Condoms ? “

“ No you asshole. I’ll show you in — a minute and 12 seconds. “

“ That’s weirdly specific. “

“ Uh-huh. Well can you do me a favor and close your eyes for a moment. ? “

“ Why ?”

“ Billy, “ she says and looks at him in that specific “just do it” kinda way that girls have perfected over the course of time “ can you just do as I tell you, please. Trust me! “

Trust. It’s been a while since Billy trusted a person. And that turned out to be a complete shit-show. So for a second he hesitates. Though as he looks at (Y/N) and the honesty in her eyes he can’t help himself but close his. Can’t help himself but to trust her.

She fumbles around with the bag for a moment then the clicking sound of a lighter echoes through the car. “ If you burn my car you’re toast. “

“ I’m not an idiot. Okay turn around — now “

The car is illuminated by the shine of a single candle stuck onto a Twinkie. (Y/N) smiles the biggest smile he’s seen her smile in — well ever since they met.

“ Happy Birthday, just Billy. “

Billy Hargrove turns 18 years old in the parking lot of a gas station while some shitty pop songs plays on the radio and a girl he hardly knows hands him a birthday cake substitute made out of a Twinkie and a pink birthday candle.

Billy thinks this is probably the best birthday he’s had in a while.

“ How do you know it’s my birthday ? “

“ Told you I read your file “ she laughs and nods towards the Twinkie “ make a wish. I have approximately 12 seconds until the wax starts dripping onto my hands so — please. “

Looking at the candle, Billy remembers the first Birthday wish he’s ever consciously made. He remembers it so vividly because it’s been the same one ever since. He was 5 and mom had gotten him a really cool race car themed cake from the grocery store. It was white and red and yellow and there were lighting bolts on it and a toy car. He loved that cake, thought it was so cool.

He remembers sitting by the kitchen table, cake stood before him, candles burning. He remembers looking up at his mom who smiled with a smile that rivaled the sun in its radiance. Then his eye drifted towards Neil. Neil and his ever present scowl. His inability to show even the smallest amount of compassion. Of love.

5 year old Billy closed his eyes and blew out the candles wishing one thing and one thing only. To never become his father.

As he looks up at (Y/N) and her smile and her gorgeous eyes he thinks that maybe it’s time for a new wish. So instead of wishing to not become Neil, he wishes to be Billy. Just Billy. A better version of the person he is right now. One capable of great things. One worthy of being loved.

A version of himself that deserves (Y/N).

Billy looks back down at the Twinkie. It’s probably the best present he’s received since his mom has left. And that says a lot because he hates Twinkies.

But it’s a present given to him solely because (Y/N) thought it would make him happy. Because she wants to let him know she’s thought of him on his birthday.

Whenever he gets presents from Neil, for his birthdays or Christmas, they come with scowls. They’re empty gestures that are meant to keep up the image of a perfectly normal, perfectly happy family. They’re usually accompanied by a talk about how disappointing Billy’s been lately.

Presents are not fun in the Hargrove household. They’re reminders to keep the image up. Reminders that things could be so much worse. Only could they really ?

“ Do you not like it ? “ (Y/N) questions.

He doesn’t think there’s words to express just how much he likes it. Not the Twinkie but the gesture.

So he doesn’t say anything. He pulls her closer and kisses the top of her head. As if he’s known her all his life.

Maybe that doesn’t matter though. Maybe all it needs is a few days for someone to become an important part of your life. Time is relative anyway, isn’t it ? Time doesn’t fucking matter.

“ No I love it. Thank you, (Y/N)”.

For everything.

- OOO -

The skies open up again at exactly 1:34. Billy looks at the clock just when the rain starts pouring down on them. They’ve spent the last hour and a half munching on various snacks (Y/N) has purchased at the gas station and talking about various people from their High schools.

“ What about Tina then ? “

“ What about her ? “ (Y/N) answers around a bite of an oreo cookie.

“ What’s your take on her ? “

She shrugs “ I guess she’s kinda unconventional compared to some other girls around, like — I don’t know, Nancy Wheeler ? But I mean, good for her. Right ? If that makes her happy who am I to judge her for that. She seems fine with how things are going and I think that’s respectable. “

“ Alright. I agree. “

“ Course you do, you fucked her. “

“ Maybe I didn’t “

(Y/N) only raises her eyebrow.

“ Ok, yeah I did. “

“ I’m jealous of Tina. “ (Y/N) confesses, looking at the raindrops racing each other down the windows.

“ Because I had sex with her ? “ Billy questions, unable to keep the smirk of his lips.

“ No. No not because of that. I — I envy the way she gets to experience things. She just does things. She’s fearless. She doesn’t constantly have to question herself about every little thing she does. You know ? She gets to try things out and properly figure out who she is. “

“ And you don’t ? “

“ I’ve been living on my own since I was 15 and even before, things were — difficult. I don’t have the comfort, the stability to try stuff and figure things out as I go. I have to pay rent, I have to keep my job and make sure my grades are up so I get to keep living the way I do right now. I have to be a responsible adult. There’s no room for me to mess up and make mistakes and learn from them. I always have to have a plan and stick to it and make sure that I do things right the first time. I don’t have parents to fall back on when I fuck up. Sometimes I feel like this whole situation, the emancipation and all that is more restrictive than it is liberating. Sure, I’m good with how things are I just — envy people who get to be teens during their teen years. Who get to mess up and not fear that the consequences might ruin their life. “

He’s never thought of it like that. Ever since she has told him about her situation he’s been nothing but envious of her. But this is a whole new perspective and for the first time Billy realizes that maybe not everything in her life is as great as it seems.

“ Olivia Newton-John “

“ What ? “

“ You asked me about my childhood crush the other day. It was Olivia Newton-John. Mom had me watch Grease one day and I — pow. Little Billy didn’t know what hit him but it hit him hard. “

“ She’s pretty. “

“ Yeah, but I’m more of a Michelle Pfeiffer kinda guy these days. “

“ You’re ridiculous is what you are “ she says with a smile. He decided then that her smile if probably one of the best smiles he’s seen in his 18 years on this earth.

“ Hey Billy ? “

“ Hmm ? “

“ Do you wanna stay on my couch tonight ? I just — it’s your birthday and I don’t want you to be sad or go home to a situation that doesn’t make you feel completely and utterly happy. Because that’s how you should feel on your birthday. I’ll even make you pancakes and bacon. “

He doesn’t need pancakes or bacon. All he needs is a place where he’s wanted. That’s all he needs to be happy and that is just what she’s willing to give.

“ I’d love to. “

- OOO -

As Billy settles down on her couch, he can hear (Y/N) softly humming along to the radio while getting ready for bed.

It’s that annoying “Only You” song playing, the Alison Moyet version. Though with (Y/N) singing along while wiping makeup from her face, it’s suddenly way less annoying.

“ Have you ever thought about doing that for a living ? “ Billy asks, hoping she can hear him over the music and into the other room.

“ Taking off my makeup ? “

“ Singing. “

“ Oh I — oh no. I have to pay rent remember. Can’t be going out there chasing dreams that don’t come true anyway. “

It breaks his heart a little, to hear her say that. It’s not like Billy has a bunch of big dreams he wants to accomplish but he also doesn’t have a talent that lends itself as the basis of big dreams. Back when he was really young he always wanted to be a professional surfer but that dream was squashed when mom left and he hasn’t been on a board since. Sometimes he wonders if he’s even still able to surf properly.

“ I think you should. You sound good ! “

“ Even when singing cheesy pop songs you don’t like ? “ she teases.

“ Don’t be annoying — but yes, even then “

Especially then, he thinks, because she makes them less cheesy and entirely more bearable. He keeps that to himself though.

“ Alright, whatever you say. “ she brushes him off with a smile and goes back to cleaning her face though he swears once she continues she sings just a bit louder.

- OOO -

The racoon is staring at him. He’s 100% sure. It’s staring right into his soul. Dr. K is ramblingon about one thing or another but all Billy can focus on is the stupid taxidermy racoon and the fact that his little beady glass eyes seem to be able to swallow him whole and figure out his deepest darkest secrets.

“ Billy ? “

“ Huh ? “

“ I said I would like to talk to you about your community service. How do you like it ? Please talk me through a typical day of yours. “

Billy pulls his glance away from the critter and towards the doctor before him. It’s his second session and he really wants to be here just as little as he did the first time. It’s not like he’s gonna pour his heart out to this guy anytime soon. To Billy this is a waste of both their time.

“ I get there, we usually set up some things for either arts and crafts or some other group activity. We sit there during those and listen, sometimes I don’t listen I’ll be honest. Afterwards we clean up. Then we have lunch. Then we — “

“ Let me interrupt you there “ Dr. K says moving his too big glasses down the bridge of his too big nose. “ You keep saying we. Who is the other person involved ? “

“ (Y/N) “

“ And (Y/N) is … ? “

He doesn’t want to talk about (Y/N). Not because she’s not important or because he’s ashamed or anything. But (Y/N) is the one good thing in his life right now his — his friend ? She gets him. She understands and most of all she doesn’t judge. He doesn’t want to share any of that with Dr. K or anyone else. This is his little piece of happiness and he’s not ready to show it to the world.

“ She’s just (Y/N) “.

And that’s all she ever has to be.

#billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove x reader #stranger things imagines #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #dacre montgomery imagine #dacre montgomery fanfiction #dacre montgomery fanfic

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thenugking · 4 years

Note

All multiples of three for Three?

3: What is your character's least favorite memory?

I mean picking one is Difficult. I think it’s either the dissolution of Professor Mortwain’s college, or the time they were a kid and Maedryn told them to beat up one of the servants that was always nice to them and looked after them, and they had to Hurt their friend who then stopped talking to them.

6: What is your character's sexual orientation?

Pansexual, doesn’t Get gender.

9: How does your character feel about religion?

It’s very much not a part of their life. like... they’ve met gods. One of their teachers is a god. It’s hard to worship someone who could just be a casual aquaintance.

12: How would/does your character feel about roller coasters?

...Does Three even know what a roller coaster is? They knew very few other kids growing up and Maedryn certainly never took them to a theme park, idk how much roller coasters are even going to come up.

They would not want to go on one, they sound messy.

15: What music genre would your character listen to?

Three never chooses to listen to music, but they enjoy Classical.

Altho my housemate and I were discussing gaffv and music earlier, and she said that as a cyberpunk villain, Xi is basically obligated to listen to dubstep but probably doesn’t actually like it. Three listens to dubstep with them and hates it. Aurion feels he should join in listening because dubstep sounds villainous, right? And he wants to be the best villain in every way, even if it means doing things he doesn’t enjoy. So the three of them sit there, listening to dubstep that they all hate together.

18: How would your character feel about having their life recorded?

I mean, depends who’s doing and watching the recording. Because there’s a lot of things they very much would not want getting out, like the fact that they sometimes have panic attacks, or behave in selfless and caring ways. But on the other hand, DarkBoard is constantly watching them and that is fine. Sometimes comforting. Potentially slightly hot.

21: Is your character flexible?

Pretty flexible, thanks to the training in fighting and such.

24: What prejudices does your character have?

Not many? They’re in several minority groups and try to be socially conscious, and the Academy is actually pretty politically correct.

I feel they have some internal fatphobia, from a belief that, “Come on, just look after yourself, just skip half your meals, it’s easy,” (Three is, obviously, not actually good at looking after themself) and some ableism from, “But we have technology that can just Cure you, why would you not want that, so you can be more effective?” but they’re aware that these thoughts are unfair to others, and aren’t going to vocalise them. Idk how well they’re doing at working on them, but they’re trying.

27: What would be the worst way for your character to die?

Just recycled by Maedryn to make a better clone :(

30: Would your character have any hobbies?

School reading and TA work and excercising and training and making sure all Maedryn’s servants and goons recieve suitable benefits.

As for things they do just because they enjoy them uhh, puzzle games, board games and sex.

33: In what ways is your character like you?

Autistic queer with anxiety. Professor Ulik is also my favourite teacher at the Academy.

36: Does anyone want to harm your character?

Three does their best to either keep people happy with them, or to avoid people noticing they exist, so no one they actually know wants to hurt them. But I’m sure there are a lot of heroes and good guys who very much want to harm Three for like, leading Maedryn’s armies to take over their world.

39: What would be your character's niche on Tumblr?

Three would on no account have a Tumblr. The word isn’t even spelled correctly.

42: What would be your character's dream career?

They do not have dreams--they are a tool, not a person, and their eventual career will be decided by Maedryn, so any ideas they might have about what they’d like are wholly irrelevant.

It would be nice to continue working in Architecture with Professor Ulik, though.

45: What would your character change about themselves?

They would be a better tool, not needing food or sleep at all and able to withstand pain and discomfort more easily. They would have a better understanding on social situations, and would stop freezing up and struggling to talk and feeling like they need to curl into a ball and are about to die when they get anxious sometimes.

48: How would your character type?

Neatly and precisely.

51: What is your character's favorite animal?

They are a tool and a weapon and have no need for such frivolous opinions.

(It’s cats.)

54: What is the saddest thing about your character's life

I mean, everything about the way Maedryn treats them? They’ve been abused so much that they constantly tell themself they’re not a person, because the only way they can survive is to supress their trauma and find a reason why it doesn’t matter that Maedryn keeps hurting them.

57: How would your character feel about feminism?

I mean, I don’t know that it’s something that’s particularly affected Three--Maedryn doesn’t seem to have faced problems from being a woman, so I’m not sure they really saw or knew the need for feminism, growing up. They don’t understand why gender inequality exists so yes, they approve of saying men and women should have the same rights. Why do we have to say that?

I do feel the kind of feminism they’re likely to experience at the Academy is something like,“Women can commit genocide and war crimes as good as any man can!! Yeah, torture that prisoner!! Girl power!!” This is maybe not particularly helpful, but Three can confirm that they have seen no particular difference in the ability of men and women to commit atrocities.

60: If you could title your character's life, what would you title it?

I would cry, because I hate titles, and then try to think of appropriate one word titles and look at song lyrics. So if it was one word, it would probably be something like Servant, or Pawn, or ig we could expand from Pawn into a longer chess metaphor title.

If we’re going for song lyrics, something from The Crane Wives’ The Moon Will Sing, or Rachel Rose Mitchell’s Lantern in the Night, because they’re Three’s signature songs and the Light motif is really good.

#light motif continues in Sleeping at Last's Light which is Morgan's song as much as Three's but it's a Good Motif #i should post their playlist sometime #thank!#three #marsh ocs #asks post #asks about ocs #grand academy for future villains #maedryn #thornfield13713 #long post #parental abuse cw #anxiety cw #fatphobia cw #ableism cw #dehumanisation cw

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camillemontespan · 5 years

Text

the history of us [drake x camille] [final part: i love him]

Part Thirteen if you want to catch up.

Drake’s Mind Over Matter Magazine Interview

FINAL PART! Ahhhh thank you to everyone who stuck with me throughout this series of angst! I’ve loved all your comments. I’m so glad this resonated with you.

@jovialyouthmusic @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @pug-bitch @sirbeepsalot @moonlightgem7 @emceesynonymroll @dcbbw @burnsoslow @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @symonde @notoriouscs @katedrakeohd @emichelle @rainbowsinthestorm @stopforamoment @iplaydrake @gardeningourmet @mrsnazariowalker @be-still-my-aching-heart

**********************************************

Seven months later

'Are you ready?'

Drake broke out of his thoughts and looked down at his wife who had placed her hands on his shoulders. She was smiling and looked so hopeful. Drake smiled back, grateful that she was by his side.

'As ready as I'll ever be,' he told her.

'If you get nervous, just picture everyone naked,' Camille joked. Drake chuckled and brought her into him, his arms wrapping around her body. 'Forget everyone, I'll just picture you.'

Camille blushed. Drake loved that he still had that effect on her.

'Okay, go,' she ordered. 'We'll be sat in the front row cheering you on.'

Drake grinned and watched her leave. He took a deep breath.

He made his way from the dressing area and found Samantha standing outside waiting for him. 'You ready?' she asked.

Drake nodded.

'You'll be brilliant,' she reassured him. They walked together down the hallway and Drake opened the doors, letting Samantha go first. He was on the side of the stage and he watched as Samantha made her way over to where Camille was sat in front row.

Lily was sat beside Camille, her feet inches off the floor. She was wearing a red satin dress with sparkly black tights and Mary Jane shoes. A little red bow was in her hair. Red was still her favourite colour, thanks to her Aunt Olivia. Olivia was sat on Lily’s other side and she was also wearing red. She had taken a look at her goddaughter’s outfit with approval. ‘I love the red, babe.’

Camille was holding Luna.

Luna was only 4 weeks old. Yet again, they had a baby who resembled Camille with her caramel skin and downy dark hair. Except for her eyes. Luna had inherited Drake's brown eyes that looked green in the light.

She was a quiet baby who watched everything. Always concentrating, always making sense of the world around her. Drake had a feeling she would grow up to be like him.

They had named her Luna after the moon, because even in the darkest of nights, if you looked, you would see the silver face of the moon shining down, bringing hope and light; something which Drake had struggled to find months ago. Until now.

Samantha sat down beside Bertrand. Maxwell, Leo and Hana were also there. Drake knew the King was there too. He was up on the mezzanine, not wanting to distract attention away from Drake. This was Drake's moment.

He stood at the podium and the room hushed. It was full of nobles and commoners alike. Drake swallowed and his eyes found Camille's. She smiled at him encouragingly and gave him a wink.

Drake cleared his throat and began to speak.

'If you told me five years ago that this would have been my life, I'd have laughed and continued to drink my whiskey,' he began. 'I never visualised myself having a wife or children. I never even thought I would become a noble. I truly believed that I was destined to spend my life in the shadows at Palace balls, a loner, without happiness. That all changed when I met my wife. She changed the way I thought and I began to think that maybe I could change the course of my future.'

He stopped for a moment to gauge reaction. Everyone was still listening, thank God.

'I got the woman of my dreams and I have two beautiful children. I should have felt like I had made it. But I didn't. I know to many people here, it will sound like I'm ungrateful. That these are first world problems. But seven months ago, I had to admit to myself that I was an alcoholic.'

The room gasped. Drake closed his eyes, bracing himself. He had said it.

'I felt under so much pressure to be a good father, a good husband and a good Duke. I'm well aware that I don't exactly fit expectations for what a Duke should be.. I don't wear fancy clothes, I don't like palace balls, I hate etiquette and I can't stand fancy finger food. I am much better just being outside, camping and making smores with my family. So I began to feel that even with my title, I still didn't fit in. I felt like a fraud. I wanted myself and Camille to be the most normal Duke and Duchess, but this idea rubbed many people up the wrong way.'

He hadn't lost the audience. They were listening intently.

'I hate the paparazzi. I hated how anytime we went anywhere, we would get hounded. I wanted to keep my family safe and each time they were photographed, I felt helpless. My daughter broke her arm and the paparazzi were camped outside the hospital. I lost my temper which made headlines. I began to feel out of my depth and began to hate my life.'

He focused on Camille. She knew his thoughts but he hadn't exactly expressed them in this sort of way before. But she was smiling softly, supporting him.

'So, I turned to whiskey. I used it to block out thoughts that I wasn't cut out for this life and it numbed me. It's only when my wife and daughter left me that I realised how badly this had gone. So, I decided to fight for them. I am still fighting.’

Drake kept his voice steady even though his heart was hammering from nerves. ‘I have been going to AA meetings and working through personal stuff with my therapist. My wife encourages me to talk to her if I feel overwhelmed, which I’ve been doing.’ He paused. ‘You might wonder why I’m telling you this. There’s a reason, trust me!’

The audience chuckled.

‘Months ago, I felt I had no purpose, that I brought nothing to the table. But by making steps to improve myself and get better, I realised that my problems stemmed from myself. My inner thoughts. My walls were built back up and I lost myself in this dark place. Now, I’m back into the light, but I have learned that there could be many men in Cordonia who are struggling with mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, hey, alcoholism, every thing else in between. If I, a guy who became a Duke, married the woman of my dreams and had two kids can be struggling, then anyone can. So, I’m talking to you today to introduce my first campaign as the Duke of Valtoria.’

He stepped out from the podium and the screen behind him burst into life. Maxwell had mixed a soundtrack for the presentation while Samantha had given Drake pointers in how to make it look interesting.

‘Mind Over Matter,’ Drake said, enunciating every word. ‘This is my new campaign for all men in Cordonia. Let’s get rid of toxic masculinity. If you’re struggling, be honest. Talk. Show your demons. Now, I know how difficult it is to talk about feelings and ask for help; I’ve been there. Consider this as me paying it forward to you.’

He began to walk around the stage, getting comfortable.

‘The campaign will involve myself, my fellow Dukes and the King and you. You. Everyone knows I like getting outside. It’s freeing. So, next month, sign up to join us as we go on a week long adventure trail in the mountains. We will be hiking, kayaking, abseiling. Every outdoor thing you can think of, we will do. The idea is that if you are about to launch yourself off a cliff into a lake, sure, the height is scary. But you are pushed to just confront your fears and jump. The same idea goes for your emotions. It’s a symbol. Confront your emotions and let go. Mind over matter.’

There was a silence. Drake ignored it; he was on a roll now.

‘While we’re doing all this fun, outdoor stuff, we will be talking. It’s like a free therapy session except instead of being stuck in a room for 60 minutes, you are navigating nature and working together, while talking about the stuff inside your head. Meanwhile, we will be filming our activities and live streaming them online so people can donate to the campaign, which will split money donated to mental health charities.’

He faced the audience. ‘Men like me are too quick to shut down. We build a wall so nobody can see how we feel. We are told that to have feelings is to be weak. You have to be macho all the time. Fuck macho! Honestly, fuck it. I know I love making fires outdoors and hiking and other ‘macho’ things, but one of my favourite things to do is to take part in my daughter’s tea parties because it makes her happy -and myself, actually. That’s not macho!’

Camille grinned, her eyes shining as she listened to her husband. Lily was beaming, her legs swinging as she listened to every word her daddy was saying. She made a mental note to ask him to join her for a tea party when they got home.

‘Sometimes, she makes me wear a plastic tiara on my head because it might be a princess tea party. Do I care? No! Because it’s quality time with my little girl. Seriously, we need to put aside these tired notions that we NEED TO BE MEN AND BE SERIOUS AND STOIC. If you’re feeling vulnerable or sad or depressed, anything at all, then please, join me on this campaign. I have big plans for it and I would love it if you could join me on this ride. Thank you.’

Camille was the first to stand up. She couldn’t clap because she was holding Luna, but she gave a loud ‘whooo!’

Lily jumped up and down, while Maxwell stood up and shouted, ‘FUCK TOXIC MASCULINITY!’ He turned to highfive Leo who then fist pumped the air.

Drake bowed then spoke again. ‘You can sign up on our official website which has launched NOW. Let’s get out there.’

************************************************************************************

‘I need... to sit down..’ Maxwell panted, stopping to get some breath back. Bertrand turned to survey his brother. ‘Come on, Maxxie! We’re nearly at the top!’

Drake, Maxwell, Bertrand, Liam, Leo and some ten other nobles and fifteen commoners were hiking up the Cordonia Pass. They were dressed in hiking gear with huge backpacks on their backs and each of them was sweating profusely.

Maxwell had his video camera. He turned it so he could film himself. ‘If I don’t make it back, please leave my estate to the Hippo Sanctuary..’

Leo chuckled and took the camera from the ailing Beaumont. ‘Right, guys, let’s keep moving. Drake, how ya doin?’

Drake turned to look at Leo. He looked in his element. ‘I feel exhausted but I’ve got tons of adrenaline. We’re nearly there!’

‘How do you hike like this all the time, Drake?’ Liam asked, panting as they hiked further up. ‘What’s wrong with using a gym?’

‘Because you get good views!’ Drake replied, casting his hand out over Cordonia.

Leo shook his head. ‘You get good views at the gym, buddy. Just think: you’re on the treadmill, you’ve got some gym bunny in tight lycra running on the treadmill in front of you..’

‘You realise we’re livestreaming this and Olivia’s watching, right?’ Drake said dryly.

Leo let out a gasp in mock horror and turned the camera to face him. ‘Olivia, that wasn’t me talking! That was... Bertrand!’

Bertrand kept hiking, his eyes fixed on the ground, concentrating on not slipping, but he still managed to say, ‘As if I would ever look at gym bunnies, I have some decorum..’

The group continued to hike until they finally reached the top.

‘Ah! Thank God!’ Maxwell shrieked, falling to his knees.

‘Right, water break. Let’s take in the view,’ Drake said. ‘Rest up, gents.’

They all settled down on the ground, happy to be resting. Drake handed out bottles of water; Maxwell opened his and poured it on his head. They all looked down at Cordonia. The camera was placed outside the circle, filming them.

‘I feel like we’re on top of the world..’ a commoner, Matthew, said.

‘Are you guys enjoying the campaign so far?’ Liam asked.

The group nodded. ‘It’s different,’ a noble, Theo, told him. ‘I never get out and do this sort of thing. I’m always in the palace, trying to look like part of the furniture.’

‘You’re all different to how I imagined,’ Matthew said, gesturing to Drake and his core group of friends. ‘I thought you would be all stuck up because you’re noble.’

‘Dude, the day I become stuck up is the day I’m no longer myself,’ Leo said, taking out a sandwich from his bag. He spotted Maxwell eyeing it hungrily and so tore off a piece for him to have.

‘So, what are your demons?’ another commoner, James, asked. He had the Mind Over Matter brochure in his hands and was reading it seriously.

‘Oh god, is this when we sit round a circle like the fucking Breakfast Club?’ Theo groaned.

Drake smirked. ‘It’s what you signed up for. Okay, so obviously, I’m an alcoholic and I’m working every day to fight my addiction and be a better husband and father.’

He gestured to the group. ‘Feel free to be the Breakfast Club.’

‘I feel like I’m only just keeping my head above water,’ James admitted quickly. ‘I work two jobs, have a wife and kid, I’m in a shit ton of debt and I’m always exhausted.’

Maxwell turned red and looked down at his hands. ‘That’s actual real people issues. I’m a Beaumont, so anything I say is a problem really isn’t.’

‘Maxwell, just because you’re noble doesn’t mean your issues aren’t valid,’ Liam reassured him. James nodded eagerly. Bertrand was studying his younger brother. ‘Maxxie, be honest.’

Maxwell sighed. ‘I feel like I constantly have to be the joker, the fun one. Since our parents died, I’ve pushed myself to make sure that you’re happy and that means trying to be positive and a ray of eternal fucking sunshine. But sometimes, I don’t want to do that. If I feel upset, I can’t say anything because I don’t want to bring us down. My job is to keep us happy-’

‘Maxwell, that’s not your job,’ Bertrand interrupted. ‘If anything, my job is to look after you and keep you right.’

There was a silence. Leo cleared his throat. ‘Eh, sometimes I think marriage would be nice.’

They all turned to stare at Leo, a look of complete bewilderment on their faces.

‘But.. but you are a former manwhore!’ Liam cried, forgetting the camera that was filming them. ‘And you’re with Olivia who hates all that stuff.’

Leo shrugged. ‘So do I normally. But I see Drake with Camille and sometimes I wonder if I should take the leap and just.. ask her.’

‘Oh my God..’ Maxwell breathed. ‘Are you proposing to Olivia on our livestream?’

Leo bolted up to grab the camera, his eyes filled with panic. ‘Fuck, can I like, delete what I said?!’

They all burst out laughing. Leo turned to them, seething. He left the camera on but he sat back down and became uncharacteristically quiet.

‘Well, since we’re all being a really cringey version of the Breakfast Club right now,’ Liam said, smiling, ‘I guess I should say that as the King, I’m always thinking that I’m not serving my country right. I always wonder if I am cut out for the role.’

‘I think you’re a good king,’ James said. ‘You’re fair and it’s obvious you want to push the country into being more modern.’

Liam gave him a grateful smile. ‘Thank you.’

‘I hate wearing sweater vests,’ Bertrand suddenly said. ‘I hate them. I look like a fifty year old librarian, when in reality, I’m in my mid thirties.’

‘You do have a Hugh Jackman look about you,’ Maxwell mused. ‘You should play into that. Hugh Jackman doesn’t wear sweater vests.’

‘What would you wear instead?’ Drake asked. ‘And why do you wear them?’

Bertrand sighed. ‘They’re a serious item of clothing, traditional, makes me look the part. I often feel like I’m failing House Beaumont and I don’t want my parents reputation to be destroyed, so I try and act like I’m more serious and professional than I actually am when really..’

They all waited with bated breath.

‘I have..’ Bertrand said, hesitating. ‘I have.. oh dear God, do I have to say it? Uh, okay, I have... a kimono collection.’ His voice trailed off.

Their mouths dropped open. ‘WHAT?!’ Maxwell shrieked. ‘I KNEW IT. I knew you were a flamboyant peacock hiding inside the body of a boring pigeon!’

************************************************************************************

4th July 2024

I’ve started a new diary! Writing helps me reflect and get my thoughts in order. So without further ado...

Today was the Walker Family 4th July. We’re in Texas, spending the whole summer here. The whole summer.

Things are different to last year. Last year, we brought our pagers and answered work emails so we could still be the Duke and Duchess. Not this time. We’ve left our work stuff in Valtoria so we can spend four months in Texas just being a family. No worries, no responsibility. Bertrand visits the manor once a week and our publicist, Samantha, is keeping our image afloat. She checks in once a week to ask how we’re enjoying our time off, you know, like a normal person *cough* Madeline, take note *cough*.

Drake is still attending his AA meetings and is making huge strides. On top of that, he is making his campaign Mind Over Matter into a powerhouse; he’s already thinking about starting a foundation. He’s found his feet as the Duke of Valtoria. He finally feels he is doing some good.

Not that he wasn’t before. He does good when he is also a husband and a father.

Lily was a little hesitant about Luna at first but Drake sat her down and told her how good it is to have a sibling; someone who is in your corner, someone who is your team mate. As an only child, I can’t impart such wisdom, so Drake took that issue and helped her see that Luna is not replacing her; Lily is still as loved.

Now, Lily is stuck like glue to her little sister. She always asks if she’s had enough milk or enough sleep. Lily is so caring anyway, it’s beautiful to see her taking to her new role with such vitality.

Tonight, Drake was as excited as always about the fireworks. He found more M-80s which filled me with dread but as always, he was careful with them while still looking like a child on Christmas morning. He had bought Luna some baby earplugs so the fireworks wouldn’t hurt her hearing and she looked up at the sky in wonder as Drake set off the Catherine Wheels.

He’s going to make our children 4th July nuts and I couldn’t be happier about that.

When Lily and Luna were put to bed, we sat out on the jetty together with Drake’s arm around me. ‘I’m so happy you’re still with me,’ he whispered in my ear. I smiled and kissed him.

I will always be with Drake Walker. He’s my family. He’s mine.

As life goes on, we will go through more hardship, more challenges and more joy; but we will have each other through it all.

I love him. I love him. I love him.

#trr fanfic #the royal romance #drake walker

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twilightofthe · 5 years

Note

For the Star Wars questions- 16 & 19. :)

Thank you!!! (y’all this got ridiculously long for two damn questions lol)

Send me a number and i’ll tell u my fave/least fave:

16. Book/Comic (Aight, so I’m actually not a huge comic reader in general, most of my comic knowledge comes from other fans on here posting about them, so this is gonna be mainly book-focused)

FAVE: Welllllll, since I’m literally incapable of narrowing down my favorite anythings, I’m gonna do faves for both canon and EU novels.

Canon-wise, it’s a tie beween A New Dawn and Ahsoka. I know I don’t post about them as much on here, but I truly have a super soft spot for Kanera and Kanan and Hera’s characters, they’re just so GOOD and I love themmmmm aaaaaaaaa. You get super good insights to how Kanan was running wild and traumatized and trying to repress everything and how Hera was a little naïve but still tough as nails and she had a dream and she was going to make it happen or so help her, ugh I just love how the story showed how they’re strongest as a team working together and I just love character dynamics where the two are so obviously married and kinda snark at each other sometimes but they have each other’s backs through everything and know each other like the back of their hands and uggghhhh this is just such a healthy good ship and such a good book. The Ahsoka novel is just fantastic all on its own because it shows Ahsoka as a young adult, kinda floundering and lost in this new world, full of guilt over what happened with Anakin and the Order, trying to do what she can to help people and just enduring because she’s a survivor, she was raised (by two argumentative, adoptive parents who love her very much SO SAYETH THE BOOK) to be a survivor and handle herself, but that doesn’t mean she’s not lonely as all hell. And oof I just fucking adore Kaeden Larte and her relationship with Ahsoka (who absolutely comes back and marries her once the war is over oh yes) and her relationship with Miara and ugh just all of it is A+++++. E.K. Johnston is just an amazing author in general and her other book, Queen’s Shadow is one of my two canon runner ups because I am in love with her Sabé and her Padmé. Other canon runner up is A Certain Point Of View, if only for the “Time of Death” chapter. Don’t get me wrong, the rest of it is also fantastic, but oh god it kills me DEAD OBI WAN DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER AND I CRY I REALLY CRY

EU-wise (oh god, I haven’t even gotten to least-faves yet), it has to be the Revenge of the Sith novelization. Without a question. Y’all it’s SO FUCKIN’ good, and in my personal opinion should be considerrred canonnnnnn (look I think the reason they gave for excluding it is that there’s no mention of Ahsoka or Rex or Mandalore or any of the stuff that happened literally the day before which is valid, but I counterpoint that Anakin is a mess with A Lot Going On At The Moment, he could have just forgot? He forgets most of his morals, all of his common sense, and three of his limbs by the end of the story, Snips could have just slipped his mind! xD). Anyway, besides the fact that it’s like 99% written in Obikin-colored glasses which really just makes me happy as a person because I love it being acknowledged just how important they are to each other, it really offers a deeper insight INSIDE the chaos going on in Anakin’s head, the mess, just why he falls so quickly and so awfully. I love it gives the Padmé plot that got cut on screen some validity. The beautiful beginning and the goddam introductions to Anakin Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobi are just A++++++++++++++ and oof other people can more accurately describe just how good this book is, but I love it a Big Lot ok?

LEAST FAVE: Okey doke, here we go.... So firstly for canon, I’m not the biggest fan of how Claudia Grey writes Leia’s character. She’s a wonderful storyteller and I love her worldbuilding, but just the way she characterizes Leia herself never felt... right, ya know? Idk, I can’t really explain it, but it makes it difficult for me to enjoy her Leia novelsWarning right now that this is a VERY unpopular opinion and my opinion alone, please do not yell at me! So as skilled and admired an author Timothy Zahn is, I don’t like the Thrawn books. I’m sorry, I don’t. To me, Thrawn is just.... ok so he’s like BBC!Sherlock but in space. The plot makes a big deal about how “oooh cool and intelligent and Literally Better Than Everyone Else” Thrawn is, but the only way they really show his “cleverness” is by either him solving problems by pulling together information that literally no one but the writer knows and then acting like it was oh so obvious and in front of everyone OR, the story dumbs down other characters to make him look smart. And maybe it was because the one Thrawn book goes after Anakin/Vader in particular to do the latter is what kinda ticked me off on Thrawn books in general, but y’all, it really ticked me off, because Anakin is like the lowest hanging fruit for an author to pick to make their character look good in comparison, and therefore it is done All The Time (LOOKING AT YOU, CLONE WARS), which I think is lazy and an insult to Anakin’s character. Look, I am fully aware Anakin Skywalker is a dolt to the highest degree sometimes, but he is ALSO A GENIUS. He is SMART. IT IS CANON THAT HE IS SMART. So when the Thrawn book has Thrawn constantly one-upping Anakin The Useless Doofus (and Padmé a bit!!!) and then doing it again once he meets him as Vader, that just makes me hmmmm.

The canon comics are actually gonna be featured on the list here a bit because if y’all don’t already know my hatred for That One Particular Vader Comic (not the rest of the series run as I have not read it and from what I hear, it’s excellent and I’d probs like it a lot) doing the implication in a dream sequence where it says that Palpatine used the Dark Side to impregnate Shmi and create Anakin, well I HATE IT. Look, I know the plot was literally about Sidious trying to mess with Vader’s head and that dream shouldn’t be trusted, but it fooled all the fans too and now like 60% of Star Wars fans actually believe Sidious fathered Anakin and I am so damn tired of hearing about that. Yeah, now that Reylo is canon, that comic’s authors are trying to do damage control by saying that no, Sidious isn’t Anakin’s father and Rey and Ben are not second cousins, but they’re still being mysterious about it and “oh well it COULD be this--” so now there’s just more fans who are digging into that theory just because they don’t like Reylo and I don’t really care for the ship either but I really HATE the entire “Born of the Dark” concept for reasons I can explain more separately, so I’m pissy at that particular comic for spawning it. I know it’s petty but I do.

EU-wise, well, this is gonna be unpopular too, cuz I haven’t read most of the EU stuff, and from what I’ve heard of it, there doesn’t seem to be much that I WOULD like. The movie novelizations all seem good, but everything else??? “Obi Wan prequels but guess what, he had a shitty childhood too!” uh, no thanks, the rest of his life sucks enough, I want to see him happy. “Mandalorian worldbuilding, but they’re all a bunch of stoic, overpowered badasses who are Good At Everything And Better Than Literally Everyone and the plot bashes the Jedi left right and center!” ehhhhhhhh pass. “What happened after Return of the Jedi, except the Skywalkers still don’t get a happy ending because the galaxy goes to war again, Han and Leia’s son turns evil, Luke Suffers, and Palpatine comes back again!” nah, that sounds too depressing-- oh wAIT :) :) :)(at least the EU actually lets Han and Leia grow old and happy together okay okay that’s enough sequel salt for one day)

19. Outfit

FAVE: Everything Padmé Amidala wears in the movies. No I will not narrow it down. I am in love with her whole wardrobe and I want it.

I also love the standard Jedi tunics and tabards and cloak (c’mon, the cloak completes the picture!) It’s just such a signature and unique look that’s supposed to combine medieval European knight tunics and samurai warrior clothing and just the #aesthetic is oof, just wonderful.

Also Sabine Wren’s armor and its various paint jobs. It’s just so uniquely her and bright and beautiful and badass in all its stages and yes good I like it.

Also Lando Calrissian’s cloaks! Swooshy and colorful and good! I love cloaks!

LEAST FAVE: Gonna go with my petty, silly ones first, and those are all of Padmé Amidala’s outfits that are only seen in the The Clone Wars TV show (so not the ones that were based off of movie costumes). Eh, actually three of them were nice, her orange outfit she visits Mina in, her white casual housedress, and her black slinky Clovis dress. All of her other series-only outfits made me highkey pissy because they were either A.) Wrong for the situation she was in, B.) Defied the laws of physics and should not have held the shape they did/stayed on her body, or C.) just plain UGLY (the highest crime of all), and for the animators to have the audACITY to put any of those things in the mere vicinity of the most stylish woman in the galaxy is an insult to Padmé, an insult to ME, and an insult to Star Wars as a whole (yes, I am mostly joking, but come on!). No, I will not give the designers the excuse of clothing being difficult and expensive and time consuming to animate because I have SEEN the fancy, PRETTY outfits of the other ladies of Padmé’s status on the show. Everything Satine Kryze wore was intricately beautiful as all hell and I loved it. Riyo Chuchi’s two outfits were lovely and fashionable. Heck, I’m pretty sure I liked Mina Bonteri’s outfit too. There were tons of people on that show with stylish clothing! How hard would it have been for the animators to remember Padmé doesn’t wear exposed midriffs on official government business? That dresses with no sides or back cannot be sleeveless or they will not stay up? Not give her hairstyles that looked like either a goddam tuning fork or like Jimmy Neutron’s mother? That beige jumpsuits are BORING and adding a mauve vest is NOT enough to make it exciting!!!! xD xD xD

Aight, now in more seriousness, I also hated both of Ahsoka’s outfits in the original TCW show. Enough people have spoken on why sending a fourteen year old into an active warzone in a tube top and miniskirt is a BAD IDEA, but like it just makes me extra mad when you remember her older and more experienced at Not Getting Pulverized Masters were both in full concealing robes and chest and shoulder and shin armor, so you can’t even pass it off as Jedi not getting hurt as easily. Her updated outfit was only slightly an improvement because her Masters STILL got at least fully covering robes and arm bracers, while Ahsoka still had her entire back exposed, leg holes exposing valuable arteries and stuff, and a goddam boob window that basically signals “shoot me here”. Look, I know the animators goofed, and I know how they have learned from it because from Rebels on, they never show her as improperly covered for battle, in the new TCW season both outfits are cute and practical too, but seeing her running around in her red outfits actively impeded and took me out of my watching experience because I was cringing over her having a lack of protection, that it made her that much more vulnerable to injury.

Finally just gotta give a standard raised finger to the Slave Leia Bikini. Carrie Fisher hated it so I do too.

#thanks so much!#now i'm all worked up over Padmé's TCW costuming jeez #like there was one other outfit of hers the purple midriff exposing dress that was pretty i liked it #but like.... it was NOT something she would wear to meet the fucking Queen of Naboo like seriously #@ liz i got your ask too don't worry but it is a wee bit longer and i'm still working on it lol #asks #nerdgatehobbit #star wars #star wars stuff #queen of my heart #snip snap #ahsoka tano #padme amidala #ship: space parents #space cowboy #mvp (most valuable pilot)

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quackspot · 5 years

Note

imagine someone just going 1-200 and you have to answer 200 questions for a stranger

well u better strap up becuase im about to do it

200: My crush’s name is: i dunno who do u think my crush’s name is199: I was born in: a year which is 2004198: I am really: a homo sapien197: My cellphone company is: i think its samsung196: My eye color is: brown195: My shoe size is: 9 or 9.5 i think just 9194: My ring size is: WAIT RINGS HAD SIZES????? i dunno193: My height is: 5′4 ISH but i just say 5′4 because im actually really sensitive about my height and the less than an inch that brings me to 5′4 makes me somewhat happier with myself192: I am allergic to: maybe dustmites 191: My 1st car was: not yet190: My 1st job was: NOT YET189: Last book you read: technically a book called Dad Jokes theyre really funny jokes but if you mean story with plot then probably Grand & Humble unless if you include everything then yesterday i peeked in some books188: My bed is: a bed which i sleep in and that’s pretty much it actually i havent really made my bed in a while 187: My pet: jax and nibsy r the family pets jax is a shih-poo shihtzu poodle mix and nibsy is a cat186: My best friend: my brother185: My favorite shampoo is: shampoo184: Xbox or ps3: hard choice there’s xbox overall and little big planet this is actually a very hard choice lksiiro3jedsklmf,gsda little big planet is great........................183: Piggy banks are: piggy banks. theyre great182: In my pockets: I DONT HAVE POCKETS IM A WOMAN181: On my calendar: whats a calendar lol!!!!180: Marriage is: marriage 179: Spongebob can: dodod od odo dodooo178: My mom: IS GREAT i lov her shes a good mom177: The last three songs I bought were? i dont buy songs i listen to them176: Last YouTube video watched: i mean im listening to boyfriend big time rush on youtube right now but if you mean actual watching its snufkin saying “hi moomin” to moomin a quick 6 second clip175: How many cousins do you have? i duno174: Do you have any siblings? yeah173: Are your parents divorced? yeah172: Are you taller than your mom? probably not :(171: Do you play an instrument? i play the trumpet i did it today and it was really boring i dont want to go to any more graduations not even my own170: What did you do yesterday? things[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: not really but somewhat and i like it because its a fun little thing to put in fiction 168: Luck: yea im very lucky167: Fate: its my destiny to die someday . . .. . in the futuuuuuuuuuuure

166: Yourself: as far as im aware no165: Aliens: yeah probably164: Heaven: i know it probably isnt real but i cant help believing163: Hell:i know it probably isnt real but i cant help believing162: God: only to blame them for stuff161: Horoscopes: yea theyre fun to read160: Soul mates: ehehehehehhe fun in fanfiction and would greatly b ok with it irl159: Ghosts: who else would hold my hand at night...... not even a ghost :) (but yea i do believe in them when i grow up i wana be a ghost)158: Gay Marriage: why wouldnt i believe in gay marriage 157: War: what is it good for156: Orbs: borb155: Magic: i like magic so i will believe in it [ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: yes153: Drunk or High: probably high i guess152: Phone or Online: ONLINE151: Red heads or Black haired: black haired 150: Blondes or Brunettes: BRUNETTES dude blondes r ok but i personally like darker hair149: Hot or cold: hot148: Summer or winter: SUMMER I HATE WINTER SO FUCKIGNT OASJKU*($@IRWJKOSDIUOKLJEZUDIFLK:LDSK:LKF:LJIODSKZVDJFKL mostly becuase i hate being cold and i hate snow becuase i have to shovel snow and its so cold147: Autumn or Spring: either one 146: Chocolate or vanilla: choc o late145: Night or Day: night144: Oranges or Apples: apples143: Curly or Straight hair: curly but i guess straight is ok142: McDonalds or Burger King: burbger king good milkshakese141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: idk uhh milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: pc139: Flip flops or high heals: neither......138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: ugly and rich i can just buy surgeries to make me prettier lmao137: Coke or Pepsi: coke136: Hillary or Obama: i dont wanna answer this :(((((( i dont like being bullied135: Burried or cremated: cremated babye put me in the flames ;3c134: Singing or Dancing: i like singing i like dancing i like trains 133: Coach or Chanel: what132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are these people131: Small town or Big city: im just a mere small town babye ;3c big cities sound scary 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target has the good cheeseballs129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: i only know adam sandler128: Manicure or Pedicure: i dont do my nails 127: East Coast or West Coast: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh both are coasts126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday i get more gifts then uwu125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate124: Disney or Six Flags: disney because idk what six flags is isnt it a restaurant or something123: Yankees or Red Sox: a baseball bat [ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: what is it good for!121: George Bush: idk 120: Gay Marriage: yeah gay rights119: The presidential election: im not that into politics so i dont understand the elections and i dont think their fair since i get all my facts from adam ruins everything this isnt even a joke118: Abortion: pro choice i dont giv a crap about some lifeless baby. its only alive if it can properly move its arms or cry or feel.117: MySpace: haha dead116: Reality TV: idk 115: Parents: theyre parents 114: Back stabbers: ow my back113: Ebay: website.... money112: Facebook: lizard man111: Work: what110: My Neighbors: idk who they are but my old neighbor was one of my best friends i should talk to him this summer109: Gas Prices: probably too high108: Designer Clothes: clothes107: College: something i dont plan on going to any time soon106: Sports: something i dont plan on doing any time soon105: My family: a family104: The future: spooky. very scary. idk what my job will be[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: idk (update it was today)102: Last time you ate: 4:13 ish i made ramne101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: i duno100: Cried in front of someone: today i suppose i almost cried???? maybe my dentist appointment a few weeks ago??99: Went to a movie theater: lego movie 2 i think98: Took a vacation: 6th grade im in 9th grade now its been like 3 years97: Swam in a pool: over 1 year i dont go to the pool anymore96: Changed a diaper: NEVER AND I NEVER PLAN ON IT95: Got my nails done: i duno94: Went to a wedding: i also dunno its been too long93: Broke a bone: not that i can recal92: Got a peircing: never and never will91: Broke the law: i duno90: Texted: just now i told my mommy to pick me up it wasl ike 1 hour ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: me88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my momy and nibsy and jax and probably zach but he’d already move out by the time i leave87: The last movie I saw: i dont remember probably lego movie 2 or osmething on tv86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: next year drama club85: The thing im not looking forward to: dying?????? idk man 84: People call me: moto moto (not really idk what they call me)83: The most difficult thing to do is: the most difficult thing82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never though i probs will someday81: My zodiac sign is: aquarius sun leo moon aries rising80: The first person i talked to today was: probably kiley79: First time you had a crush: kindergarten i think78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: myself77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: idk76: Right now I am talking to: nobody 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: *has a crisis over my future plans as i do not know*74: I have/will get a job: im gona work at target or burger king next year maybe it depends on if they like me73: Tomorrow: 5/20..............72: Today: today71: Next Summer: in a theater near u70: Next Weekend: my first summer weekend 69: I have these pets: I ALREAD YSAID WHAT PETS I HAVE I LOVE NIBSY WITH ALL MY HEART and jax with some extra parts of my heart68: The worst sound in the world: a sound67: The person that makes me cry the most is: me66: People that make you happy: me65: Last time I cried: ealier today64: My friends are: online63: My computer is: on62: My School: is a school61: My Car: nonexistent 60: I lose all respect for people who: are really mean and seem to hate people for being happy. people who make jokes that make me uncomfortable. i generally avoid them.59: The movie I cried at was: all of them58: Your hair color is: brown57: TV shows you watch: idk56: Favorite web site: idk probs youtube55: Your dream vacation: nowhere 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: A FEW WEEKS AGO I GOT STITCHES IN MY MOUTH AND IT REALLY HURT UGHGTUERIJOKFLDc53: How do you like your steak cooked: edible52: My room is: a room51: My favorite celebrity is: myslef..... just kidding idk any celebs 50: Where would you like to be: where i am 49: Do you want children: no 48: Ever been in love: hoo ha hoo ha i duno how love feels exactly47: Who’s your best friend: MY BROTHER46: More guy friends or girl friends: guys i think 99% of my friends are my brothers friends so45: One thing that makes you feel great is: being happy44: One person that you wish you could see right now: nobody right now but sometimes kiley43: Do you have a 5 year plan: 5 years??? haha no i only plan on using savings accounts to make a bit more money and MAYBE moving to kiley but idk for sure since i like my parents and my brother and my parents plan on driving around in an rv but idk man moving to another state would be HARD and im kinda lazy and i’d have to get a whole new driver’s license 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no41: Have you pre-named your children: lmao all my ideas are jokes40: Last person I got mad at: probably myslef39: I would like to move to: my bed???????38: I wish I was a professional: personer. talker. socialer. [ My Favorites ]37: Candy: probably snickers or a salted nut roll36: Vehicle: big car. tahoe shape. tahoe size. idk. something like a tahoe thats my only reference35: President: I Don’t Care34: State visited: probably florida its the only one of 3 states i’ve been to33: Cellphone provider: what32: Athlete: WHAT31: Actor: idk 30: Actress: idk29: Singer: not me? me? idk28: Band: taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally hall??? ? ?? ? ?? ? ? ? I DONT KNOWIJ DSKJZLFKSJKLDSHDLfjklskl;fdkl;sfk;laf 27: Clothing store: i legit have like no faves god this is the hardest part26: Grocery store: target probably25: TV show: maybe the simpsons???24: Movie: idk ive seen a lot of movies23: Website: one of them22: Animal: one of them21: Theme park: universal studios20: Holiday: none of them theyre all ok but ??? meh19: Sport to watch: none.18: Sport to play: idk i dont like being competitive but??????? gym class is a fun sport! :)17: Magazine: none of them16: Book: one of them15: Day of the week: wednesday sounds like a good day. maybe sundays. 14: Beach: what13: Concert attended: frankly the only concerts i’ve been to are my own12: Thing to cook: probably ramen11: Food: cheeseballs??????? burger king milkshake, a drink?10: Restaurant: buuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrger kiiiiiiiiiiing?9: Radio station: 101.9 kelo eff emmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm8: Yankee candle scent: what7: Perfume: what6: Flower: what5: Color: red or purple4: Talk show host: wha

3: Comedian: i duno2: Dog breed: one of them1: Did you answer all these truthfully? yeah i tried but i kinda gave up slightly after i came back from a graduation party though i also kind of gave up from the start so

#ohrat

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inky-imagines · 6 years

Text

Foresthuntermajrach’s OC Special

Apologies for the long wait, @foresthuntermajrach!

I mean to post this when I came back, but I didn’t like it and rewrote it. And then I rewrote the rewrite. And the one after that and the one after and- you get the picture.

This OC Special has given me no end of grief, but I’ve finally finished it and I’m pretty happy with it tbh. I hope you will be too!

Just a few notes:

I do mention Ophelia’s Angina in this, and though I did my research before and during the writing process, I might’ve made some mistakes. If I have, I apologise! Please let me know so I can educate myself and rewrite it accordingly.

Also, this is kinda taking place in a coffee shop AU where Ophelia and Dake are on the precipitate of dating.

Enough blathering, I really hope you enjoy this!

Length Warning: Nearly 2000 words, so it’s most of this is below the cut.

Edit: I’m a little frantic cuz of personal reasons rn, so I might not have edited this properly. If you see anything that looks really out of place or just plain wrong, please let me know. =)

He’d just had to get the lunch shift today, hadn’t he?

Nothing good ever happened on the lunch shift, and he always avoided it like the plague, unashamedly using his connection to the cafe’s owner to take the slot an hour after it.

Not today.

A replacement had been needed to fill the slot after the original barista had fallen ill and Dake’d been unfortunate enough to completely available.

The second he’d started the shift he knew it was going to be a bad one. The espresso machine malfunctioned, they ran of milk, most of the customers were small tippers with big attitudes and his co-worker had fucked off at the height of the rush.

To top it all off, he was now stuck arguing with yet another customer who wouldn’t understand they’d ordered the wrong thing.

“It’s daylight robbery!”

“Ma’am,” He sighed for the felt like - and possibly was - the twentieth time. “You ordered a macchiato, not an expresso. The prices are-”

The woman, best described as a soccer mom, scowled at him, hands on her hips.

“Don’t you tell me what I ordered. I know what I ordered.” She jabbed a perfectly manicured nail at him.

“I don’t think you do.” The words slipped out by mistake, but Dake couldn’t find it in him to care as she turned a vivid red, spluttering angrily.

“How dare you! I won’t let you speak to me like that! Where’s your manager? I’ll-”

He tuned her out, turning his attention to the clock hanging on the wall behind the bitchy customer.

An hour, give or take. Only 60 minutes until the one person who could possibly make this shift better arrived. At least he hoped so.

Usually, Ophelia would come in for her usual coffee and a pastry – always non-sweet, she hated those – and a quick chat, but, unlike him, Ophelia’s schedule varied greatly and it wasn’t uncommon that they missed each other.

‘I should really ask for her number at some point,’ He mused, reluctantly dragging his attention back to Soccer mom. ‘Make plans to meet outside of the café or something.’

He tuned in just in time to catch ‘-orsohelpmegod, you will be sorry!’ and immediately dismissed it, preparing himself for would undoubtedly be a exhausting fight.

“You’ve made a small mistake, miss,” He said, barely concealing his irritation, “What you ordered was a macchiato which we price differently from double espressos.If you’d like, I’m more than happy to replace your order with a double espresso; I’ll even give you a discount.”

‘Anything to get you off my back,’ He added mentally, hoping that his proposal appealed to her.

It didn’t.

She ballooned, almost bellowing –and thus attracting open stares from the other customers, “I won’t have you tell me, a Harvard graduate, that I made a mistake when you’re at fault. I’ll have you fired!”

“I doubt you can.” He replied blandly, dimly acknowledging the chiming storefront.

“Please.” She sneered, “Do you believe the management would keep something like you if I were to complain?”

“I’d imagine they would,” The approaching customer purred, the familiar voice perking Dake up, “He is the owner’s nephew after all.”

“’Phe.” Dake grinned, dragging a hand through his locks in an attempt to straighten them out.

The girl waved at him, smiling, before facing the older woman, her face a mask of faux-politeness.

The woman looked a little off-balance, clearly unaware of Dake’s diplomatic immunity, before scowling at the teens. “So that’s why you’re acting like that. You think your uncle will protect you when I tell him what you’ve done?”

Ophelia glanced at Dake quizzically and got a tired look in response.

“She ordered a Macchiato, but wants to be charged for a double espresso.”

“Because that’s what I ordered.”

“You ordered a double espresso with some steamed milk and foam.” He corrected.

“That’s a macchiato.” Ophelia deadpanned.

The woman frowned, shaking her head. “No it’s-“

“Siri, what’s a macchiato?”

Ophelia’s phone dinged before intoning, “Caffè macchiato, sometimes called espresso macchiato, is an espresso coffee drink with a small amount of milk, usually foamed.”

“Huh, what do you know?” Ophelia smirked at the now paling woman, “Three against one, lady. You lose.”

The soccer mom ballooned once more and Dake scowled, standing straight. It was one thing for him to be yelled at and deranged – It was a unfortunate part of the job – but he wasn’t about to let this two-bit bitch attack Ophelia.

His worry was unnecessary though; she knew how to handle herself.

With a pointed look around the café, Ophelia asked, “Are you really going to cause even more of a disruption, lady? You’re just embarrassing yourself.”

Soccer mom froze, looking around her as if suddenly aware of the other witnesses of her little tantrum. After spluttering for a moment, she slammed the money on the table, turned on her heel and stomped her way out of the café, taking her macchiato with her.

“Oh thank god.” Dake collapsed against the counter the second she was out of sight, forehead resting on the cool wood.

“Never been called that before, but okay.” Ophelia’s following laugh made Dake chuckle himself, lifting his head up just in time to see her slide onto one of the stools.

“Seriously though, I appreciate the save. I don’t much longer I could’ve put up with that.”

“I don’t know how you put up with that.” She said, resting her arms on the table, “She was upset because of what? A 50p difference?”

“30p.” He corrected, laughing at her disgusted face.

“But never mind her. You’re early today.” He propped himself up on an elbow, “Something happen at school?”

“Ugh,” She groaned, dropping her bag beside her, “I don’t want to talk about that. So let’s talk about you.”

Then she frowned, peering at his face. “You look exhausted. You alright?”

He smiled gently at her, patting her hand resting on the table, before winking. “I am now you’re here.”

“You’re so cheesy.” She snorted, turning her hand to entangle it with his.

“And you’re grate.”

She paused for a moment then snorting, trying to conceal a laugh.

“Dake, no. That’s too corny.”

“Really? And here I thought I had a kernel of talent.”

Torn between being laughing and groaning at his awful puns, Ophelia rocked in her chair, a hand stifling her amusement. Dake doesn’t bother doing that, openly laughing along with her.

“Seriously though,” She managed as her giggles subsided, “Are you okay?”

He sighed, standing a little straighter. “Yeah, today’s just been a bit rough.”

“That lady?”

“Amongst other things.”

He grinned at her, “Now you spill. What happened?”

Ophelia’s expression darkened immediately, wiping his mirth right off his face.

“Nothing good, I’m guessing.” He kept his voice light, but he was concerned when she didn’t answer immediately.

Ophelia didn’t really do quiet. She wasn’t loud and rambunctious, but she didn’t keep things to herself, her outspoken nature rarely failing to make itself known whenever she was displeased. Which left…

“You had an attack?” The fear in his voice made her sit straight, waving her hands in dismissal.

“What? No, no, no, Dake, I’m fine.” She scowled, glancing away, “It’s just… We got a substitute gym teacher today.”

“They haven’t touched you, have they?”

“Let me finish, will you?” She smiled briefly at his concern, before continuing. “They were… leery about me and decided to dismiss me from gym on the grounds that I was ‘medically unfit’ for it.”

Dake frowned, tilting his head. “Isn’t your school’s gym for basketball or something? No offence, but I think that’s a little too intensive for you.”

She rolled her eyes, scoffing, “I know that. The school created a specialized class plan for me so I don’t skip gym.”

“Did they know that?”

“First thing I said when we met; they said it was fine.”

Dake frowned, crossing his arms. ”So, what the hell happened?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Maybe they simply were humouring me, or they changed their minds and thought I was too fragile for 15 minutes of exercise. Either way,” Her voice and eyes dropped, cheeks flushed red with anger and embarrassment. “I don’t like being made out to be an invalid.”

“Ophelia…”Dake faltered, unsure of what to say.

Seeing Ophelia down always threw him off kilter, whether it was because of the surge of his emotions or the sight of the fireball’s downtrodden look, he didn’t know. But it was frustrating that at times like this his silver tongue failed him and he couldn’t verbalise his empathy.

A glance around the workspace, done in a vain effort to inspire some kind of response, proved fortuitous when his eye landed on something he’d been preparing to treat the girl to for a while.

He pushed himself off the table, shooting her a smile before busying himself in the small kitchen space.

“Dake? What’re you doing?”

“You look like you could do with a pick-me-up,” He grinned at her over his shoulder, “I’m making you one.”

She looked a little surprised, tilting her head. “Oh? What did you have in mind? Jasmine? Maybe rosehip?“

“No tea today.” He hummed, “I thought you might like to try coffee for once.”

Ophelia frowned, slumping back in her chair. “Dake, I can’t consume caffeine. Angina, remember?”

“No caffeine present, and no,” He held up a hand to pause her next argument, “It’s not decaf.”

The irritated look melted off her face, replaced by an avid curiosity. “What kind of coffee is it?”

“Dandelion & Chicory Root Coffee.” He said, holding up a packet of roasted dandelion roots. “I suggested it should be added to the menu for both the health nuts and the cute caffeine intolerant girls.”

He winked at her making Ophelia roll her eyes, but didn’t stop a smile spreading across on her face.

“Charming.” She leant forward once more, watching as he made the coffee, “And it definitely has no caffeine?”

“Yep,” He said, pouring the brew into her preferred mug before placing it before her. “Didn’t add cream or sugar. Figured you’d like it black.”

“Don’t we all?” She reached the hot beverage but jolted back when he slapped his forehead.

“Wait a sec, I forgot something.” He disappeared into the storage at the back, but only for a moment, returning with a slice of apple pie.

“You’re eerily prepared.” Ophelia said, raising an eyebrow at him.

He just smirked, placing the slice down and leaning back. “Bon Appétit.”

Dake held his breath as she took her first sip, studying her face for any sign of revulsion.

“Well?”

“It’s-“ She twisted her face, before smiling. “good. I like it. Very bitter though.”

“It’s coffee, what were you expecting?” He chuckled. Then more quietly, “Feeling better?”

Surprise flickered on her face before morphing into a softer look, the warmth in her eyes unmistakable.

“Much. Thanks, Dake.”

The look filled him with a sense of both joy and bashfulness forcing him to duck his head to the red of his face.

“It’s nothing.” He scuffed his feet then glanced up at Ophelia with a quirked grin. “You’d do the same for me.”

“I would.” She agreed, sipping her coffee, “And I’ll repay the favour someday.”

“Could do it be today.” He suggested, earning a confused look. “Currently, I’m kinda unhappy.”

The confusion on her face cleared as he slid a pen and pad to her with a wink. “A certain 8 digit number of yours would cheer me right up.”

#mcl #dakota #dake #oc special #this is just mindless fluff #im sorry #jk im happy with this #not so happy with the ending though #but am i ever?#sweet crush #amor sucre

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miraimisu · 7 years

Note

Can I request 83, 52, 38 or 18 (I'm in angsty mood for some reason). If you don't feel like writing angst today then maybe something from: 3, 4, 85 or 60. Since i'm writing this I might as well say that I loooooove your writing and I hope you have an amazing day!

What the fuck, why would I ever reject an angsty prompt? I am the angst duchess and fuck my life if I cant live to write sad, heartbreaking thingies. Or at least I try? And thanks for the kudos, I don’t know how do I deserve all of this when you guys deserve all the credit. I love this fandom so much.This prompt was a bit hard tho, and it turned out kinda short?… I just hope it lives up to your expectations ♥ Gonna make #18 for forbidden love shit.

Uraraka was no commoner. Uraraka Ochako was all but your regular friend that helps you with your bags and books– even if she possibly would help out with these matters, she was all but your normal stand-by friend.

Everyone knew that. If one took the opportunity to know her, they would see her true colors behind those common eyes that shone with unhidden curiosity and enthusiasm. It was hard for one to squeeze air out of her, and sometimes, even get a true emotion out of her.

Bakugou knew this, out of all people. Of course the pyro genius would see her for her true colors and not the ones she wore in front of everyone. He would notice when her hands trembled a little when laughing, a sign of feigning stupid glittery glee– he hated it. He hated her, sometimes. The way she sparkled while her heart trembled with the weight of a little lie that would later tie her down to her bed in a night of endless cries.

She could see right through him, too– and he was, somehow, perfectly fine with that. If someone could see the good in him, that would only be her and that stupid redhead he had for best friend. Kirishima was one of the very few people who could stand his random fits of anger, but Uraraka… that bitch. She was too good for her own good. Always hugging people, always smiling and–

He grasped his desk in agitation. She was always by that bastard’s side and it drove him up the wall.

Uraraka didn’t know this, of course. Whenever she was cheering her friend up, Bakugou would let out a good old colorful piece of goodness, but she deemed it to be in his nature. He was aggresive, a bit of a jerk, but it was him after all.

And somehow, there was a moment in time and space– like, two days ago in the middle of an encounter with him, when something shifted in her heart.

This spar had been anything but planned beforehand. Uraraka had seen him going for a walk in his training clothes and the idea sparked in her. She had ran to him inmediately with the objective of touching his shoulder, surprising him, and making him go weightless– of course, we are talking about Uraraka and she couldn’t do sneaky.

She had coughed just before reaching his skin, what prompted a big curse out of him and made him blow her away out of instinct. She landed a few meters behind him and when he realized it was her who had tried to, in his eyes, probably annoy the shit out of him– he at first scoffed at her futile attempt of a sneaky stance and helped her to her feet.

“What the fuck, Uraraka.” and he swung her arm around his shoulder, no petition needed. “Your leg is still peachy and you are planning surprise attacks on me? You must be a sucker for pain.”

“What… are you doing?” asked she, letting herself be dragged to wherever he wanted to drop her. It was true that planning such risky thing was reckless from her considering what a bad beating Iida had given her the previous day.

Oh, his face when he had seen her so beaten up. He had been apologizing while punching death into her.

Bakugou grunted beside her. “I’m taking you to a damn infirmary. I have burnt your left arm and honestly, every one will give me the stinky eye if they get to know I almost blew your ass up.”

Because everyone loved Uraraka, even his best friend. And he knew damn well that Kirishima would give him a good piece of mind if he came to find out that he had been the one to injure her. He would never mention, but he also felt a bit bad for harming her without a reason but stupid instinct.

Why did she… matter so much? She was just a damn pebble. How was he going to focus on his career when Bakugou had this woman by his side constantly hogging him to make nice with Deku so that bastard would be happy?

Bakugou had many reasons to make that boy’s life miserable: 1) he was a bragger, 2) he was a loser, and most recently 3) he had Uraraka’s undivided attention– he had his best battle buddy’s attention and again, it was driving him insane. So he walked to the infirmary with the intention of dropping her there and pretending nothing happened, because he was starting to be fed up with her and those butterflies she carried around her.

Why did she have to always come by and mess with his life?

He hated that feeling. He hated feeling like he needed to protect her when all he should be doing is focus on himself and– god, she was too in love with Deku, what good would it do to him to develop a silly crush on her and– at this point, when he came to terms with his feelings, he was a blushing mess and wanted to blow up the whole school.

Worst of it all, those silly summersaults his stomach did when she was near had been there for way too long before this realization and he felt it dawning on him, crushing him alive. There was no turning back now.

Uraraka didn’t let it pass, though. When Bakugou eventually and literally dropped her in a hospital bed, something stirred inside of her, making her heart warm in a pleasant manner. When he left her wordlessly to Recovery Girl’s aid, she smiled at him knowingly. Kirishima truly had had a gooD effect on him– and the thought carried her through the day, but as soon as Deku came into view, he had all her attention again.

Her heart still fluttered after the newfound kindness Bakugou had in him. And something changed that day. She would realize this change too late.

When Bakugou saw her laughing along with Deku, he started biting his knuckles. The feeling that bubbled in his chest squirmed uncomfortably, the very same feeling that had him wide awake all night after dropping roundface at the infirmary. A part of him told him that he had been rude as fuck for letting her on her own after almost setting her on fire, and another part told him that he had been stupid for almost setting her ablaze to start with.

No matter what he tried to come up with, he had made a mistake. He had made a mistake for allowing himself near her, for having left her at the infirmary bed when what he should have done is just leave her in the dust to tend her own injuries.

So he sucked it up and, as soon as class was finished, Bakugou waited for her to come out of class. Whatever he was feeling for her, for that strong and small stupid pebble he couldn’t step upon– all that was ending as soon as he set things clear with her.

He knew she would never pull away from green bastard, and he was aware of the fact that he couldn’t force her to stay away from him. He could hope for her to grow up from his fucking shadow, but he wasn’t scum and would never force her out of it. Whatever made her happy was fine for him. People he respected deserved their space and, albeit reluctantly, he would give it all to her.

She stepped out of class alone, always the slowest one to pack her stuff– her jump when he came into view was fucking hilarious. “What are you doing there, Baku–”

“Your injuries,” spat he, stepping near to her. Her proximity felt wrong and sinful to him when she was too far from reach, but he stil invaded her injuries til she was against a wall. “let me see them.”

Uraraka blinked at him once, twice, but didn’t flinch at his agressivity, unfazed as she always was by his forward demeanor. Her eyes wide as saucers for his intoxicating permating sweaty and riany spark, he let himself fall into the galaxies of her pools, and almost forgot what all this mess was about until he saw her remove her jacket and show him her reddened arm.

“It’s patched up and in good condition. You at least had the decency to take to Recovery Girl.”

He looked to his side, and his voice sounded remorseful for a second, connecting with all the thoughts that had rattled inside his head during the previous night. “It was my fault in the first place.”

“Are you… apologizing?”

“Hell no, you damn woman.” growled he, his scarlet glare boring into her purity once again. “You shouldn’t have tried to sneak up on me when you know I can damn well tear you to pieces.”

Uraraka, far from offended, giggled at his brash retort. Her breath got stuck in her chest as beams of sunset streaked through his golden locks, and she had this silly urge to thread her fingers through them. She ended up deciding against it because she appreciated her life.

“Is there anything else you need?”

He looked at her even more intensely. There was a moment in which she noticed how she had changed in his eyes, but knew she remained the same for everyone. The colors she wore had turned scarlet, adorning her cheeks and inking her in desire and passion for that woman he would worship in the darkness as long as he lived, because he knew that sunlight wouldn’t let him speak out his secret devotion– not when she loved somebody else.

She loved Deku. She loved a quirkless bastard and not him, the great Bakugou Katsuki. And he was dying to know why.

So his hands trailed up her arm to end up gripping her jaw, her head crashing against the concrete. “Why him?”

Her cheeks muffled by his rough hands and chords malfunctioning due to the embers of his eyes, passion and anger– it all reduced her to ashes and suddenly, she couldn’t muster a decent answer. Mostly because a part of her didn’t know what he wastalking about while the other pretty much could see in his eyes what this was about. The notion just left her speechless and a mess of goo in the ground.

His flames kissed the chocolate of her irises– and boy, didn’t chocolate melt good and pretty against heat.

His mouth came devastating hers in a helfire kiss,as his hands tried their best not to roam around her body– one that didn’t belong to him, staying put on the wall so she wouldn’t escape– because of course she was shaking, probably fearful, needing to pull away. The way his mouth was twisting hers in such burning embrace, embers of passion consuming her thoughts and rationalities– but she didn’t want this.It was all sorts of alluring and deliciously wrong. His teeth trapping her lower lip, trying to recover all dominance on the kiss, eliciting a throaty moan from her– he opened his eyes for a second, frustrated, and yearning to hear more of that. She attempted to pull way, her hands fighting against his chest to stop his sudden rampage, earning her a head crash against the wall as Bakugou only pushed her in.His hands travelled all the way to her neck and waist, nails digging in her skin– oh, her gasp, that may have hurt a little. He took the opportunity to come crashing to her mouth, his tongue entangling with hers while she wiggled in his hold, trying to either get away or hold herself in. And none of those things were gonna happen.

There was a moment when he felt her give in a little. Her pushing became less frantic, the haltered, and her eyes shut completely close–

But he couldn’t– couldn’t let a good kiss get the best of him and build illusions on an impossible relationship. He couldn’t keep this up when she was in love with another man. He gave her waist a little push and disconnected the sickingly euphoric lock, a trail of saliva connecting them.

He caressed her lower lip with his thumb as softly as he could, frown adorning his chaotic features, irises trembling as she stared at him, unbelieving.

He wasn’t the man for her. He breathed deep, then stepped back, their bodies missing each other– but this was wrong.

“I shouldn’t love you.” murmured he, making her features constrict into a painful grimace of realization. “But I fucking do and I’m scared shitless.”

He would die to hold her as she shook and almost fell, would love to possess her against the very same wall and make her forget about Deku. However, he wasn’t scum, and he couldn’t let her make him drop so low.

She didn’t deserve the pain he carried with him, or his falling hopes. So he marched away, shoulders tense in realization.

Bakugou saw the true colors in her, and she would always see his and cherish them as a precious treasure. But his colors weren’t the ones she was searching for, or the ones she dreamed and sighed for.

And no matter how blaring and blinding her colors were, he couldn’t let them paralyze him. No matter the heartbreak, he did what he deemed to be right– not knowing he had left a dounting girl at his wake, who realized now why his kindness had struck her so much.

He walked away. And this was the first time Bakugou realized he was human and couldn’t be more than that, no matter how much he loved her.

#request #kacchako #kacchako fanfiction #fanfiction #i dont know why im always so angsty omg #im sorrrrryyy

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conditionsclarity · 7 years

Text

Finally got around to watching The Red Pill

My thoughts throughout the movie:

Feminist: ????? TALKING ABOUT MEN?????? AND NOT WOMEN????? SO UNCOMFORTABLE. (Where’s that Birds Rights Activist Tweet)

One of the guys talking (Dean Esmay) at the gathering his hands are shaking omfg I just want to go up to him and hug him he looks so scared ;n;

I love how people are arguing that the number of men died in wars was because of the draft but like???? They released a gender neutral draft and women everywhere were like suddenly I don’t want equality

Also what really gets me is like how are like hurr durr look at few female leaders we’ve had and PATRIARCHY but jfc you can’t expect us to go from 0% to 50% overnight. Especially with the way yall trying to go about it.

SERIOUSLY THE FUCKING VICTIM COMPLEX OF ALL THESE FEMINISTS IS SO DISGUSTING WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE A VICTIM I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND

The Patriarchy is real but it’s Islam. So when are we going to acknowledge that?

Feminists: still living in the 60′s

The projection of these feminist guests is overwhelming

They all have Gender Studies degrees I’m seeing a trend

EXACTLY there’s absolutely no way to discern how “oppressed” or “disadvantaged”

GOOD THEY BROUGHT UP THE PROBLEM WITH WOMEN CONTROLLING MEN WITH LOVE AND MARRIAGE AND AND KIDS AND STEALING THEIR WEALTH. FUCKING HEARTLESS HARLOTS

Seriously what’s so bad with the Nuclear Family

Custody is so fucking biased it sickens me

THE FUCKING ABUSE BLESS THEM FOR BRINGING THIS UP MOMS WILL ABUSE CHILDREN MY ABUSIVE EX-BOYFRIEND WAS THE EXACT CASE OF IT (like mother like son. I still don’t forgive him though)

I want to cry from the abuse these mothers put their children through for their own selfish reasons

YOU‘RE THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE PREGNANCY. THE SAME THINGS HE HAS TO REMAIN AWARE OF, SHE DOES TOO.

jfc the discrepancy between reproductive rights always boggles my mind

The abuse men suffer is just as bad as women if not worse.

I hate being a woman sometimes

Seriously why don’t we have male abuse shelters. Why. Why. Why. Whywhywhywhywhywhy.

THE LEVEL OF DENIAL HOLY SHIT LIKE YEAH IT HAPPENS TO WOMEN BUT IT HAPPENS TO MEN TOO?!?!? Go back to my first statement. Seriously why are feminists SJWs in general so uncomfortable with talking about things that challenge their victimhood? Like why do you want to be a victim? I seriously don’t get it. WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE A VICTIM.

Third Wave Feminism started as Anti-Capitalism Communists why am I not surprised.

That Power and Control model scares the shit out of me what the actual fucking fuck.

Her video diaries really show the struggle of realizing how difficult it is to challenge your world view. I guess ignorance really is bliss. Well maybe not because (SJWs) are perpetually miserable.

Holy shit she brought up how she does the TALKING ABOUT MEN?????? AND NOT WOMEN????? SO UNCOMFORTABLE.

THEY BROUGHT UP HOW #BRINGBACKOURGIRLS COMPLETELY IGNORED THAT BOKO HARAM LET THE GIRLS GO AND BURNED THE BOYS ALIVE. Tens of thousands of boys slaughtered just by Boko Haram alone.

So why aren’t we stopping these islamic terrorists already?

So much censorship.

DEAR GOD THEY GOT BIG RED.

It’s indoctrination. Through and through. It’s just becoming a tower of babel as it becomes more distorted with more ideologies piled in.

I nearly threw up at the circumcision clip holy shit and I have 2 years of being a nurse and 1 year as a bio-science major. I’m not usually phased by gore but that just got me. The baby can’t be put under anesthetics the pain is unimaginable.

I would highly recommend this for everyone. The only place you can find it is Amazon (since places like Netflix would rather have The Amazing Jessica James and Dear White People)

#condi talks #the red pill #the red pill documentary #feminism #mens rights #long post

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lilacmoon83 · 7 years

Text

Dreaming Out Loud

Chapter 5: Hope Will Return

The Dreamscape

"Snow...Emma..." David called. He was finally asleep again. The problem was...he had no memories of his time awake, just like Snow. For some reason, it was only Emma that remembered both.

"Charming! There you are! I've been so worried!" Snow fretted, as she rushed into his arms. He smiled and caught her, before spinning her around, while kissing her passionately.

"Guys..." Emma complained playfully. Snow smiled against his lips, as he slowly lowered her to her feet.

"Sorry I'm late, my darling," he whispered.

"I was worried when you weren't here, but Emma said it's because you've awakened. She said you've been comatose all these years," Snow said.

"I guess that would make sense," he replied.

"So...do you remember anything you did while awake?" Emma asked.

"I'm afraid not. It must be the curse. Until it's broken, maybe your mother and I won't be able to remember both," he guessed with a shrug.

"I remember everything," she muttered, wondering if she should tell him he had his real memories. But maybe it was best he didn't know that yet. She hugged him tightly and felt comfort, as she always did when he cradled her head.

"You guys weren't exaggerating, you know. Regina is evil," Emma stated. Charming nodded and Snow looked sad.

"She wasn't always like this," Snow admonished.

"Then how the hell did she get like this?" Emma asked.

"For a very long time...I blamed myself. Sometimes I still do," Snow said.

"Mom,"

"Snow," they protested together.

"I told a secret...but Regina's pain started before she met me. I was just the catalyst. The real evil...the person that made Regina into what she is was her mother...Cora," Snow began to explain.

Flashback

Approximately 60 years before the Dark Curse

When Demeter appeared on Olympus, she was not surprised to see solemn faces meet her. Athena stepped forward first.

"We will do whatever necessary to protect your grandchild. I have foreseen that she will the fairest in all the realms," Athena said.

"And she will be strong with the heart of a warrior," Artemis added.

"Thank you. But Deimos has joined Hades and promised to kill her upon her birth," Demeter said, glaring at Ares.

"Deimos is restless. Peace does not suit him," Ares said.

"Suit him? He has all but declared war on mortals!" Demeter cried, as she turned to Zeus.

"We must imprison Deimos and find a way to protect my grandchild. Persephone will want her no where near Hades," she stated.

"Deimos will be dealt with...severally," Zeus agreed.

"Zeus...please!" Area pleaded.

"He is a threat to all, Ares," Zeus argued. The God of War clenched his fists, but kept his rage at bay.

"You've gone so soft, father. It's pathetic," Deimos spat, as he appeared.

"Deimos...my son, what are you doing?" Ares protested.

"I'm making way for a new ruler," he hissed, as blew back the other Gods with blasts of dark magic, including Zeus. He stalked toward the pedestal where the Olympian crystal hovered in its stasis.

"Hades told me that this crystal could destroy you all and then he shall reign as the Supreme God! Mortals will then finally know their places again!" Deimos said, his eyes black with the lust for power.

"You don't want to do that, Deimos," Zeus warned.

"Shut up...your time has passed. Hades will rule and mortals will grovel at my feet as I will be his right hand. And they will live in constant fear!" Deimos ranted, as he grabbed the crystal. But his cackling died on his lips, as the power scorched him and the white fire consumed his body, as he screamed in agony. When the fire faded, Deimos remained, but his immortal glow was gone.

"What...what have you done to me?" he asked, as his dark magic could no longer be summoned.

"I made sure the crystal could never fall into the wrong hands. You are now the thing you hate most...mortal and I cast you from Olympus...forever!" Zeus decreed.

"NO! You can't do this!" Deimos screeched, as he was engulfed in a puff of white smoke and deposited on the Earth, as vulnerable as any mortal now.

"Zeus...my daughter, we must find a way to protect her child," Demeter pleaded. Athena nodded and revealed her plan to do just that.

"Good morning," Mary Margaret greeted, as she poured two cups of coffee.

"Oh good...coffee," Emma muttered, as she stumbled down the stairs.

"You're up really early," she mentioned, as she took a big sip of coffee, which she had long been convinced was the nectar of the Gods.

"I'm a morning person," Mary shrugged.

"It's Sunday," Emma countered and Mary looked guilty.

"Anxious to get to the hospital?" the blonde teased.

"Am I a complete idiot?" the schoolteacher asked.

"No...not with David anyway," Emma answered.

"How do you mean?" Mary asked.

"Well...I sort of have this superpower so to speak. I know a liar when I see one and that usually means I can detect a scumbag when I encounter them," Emma explained.

"You must have really good instincts," Mary mentioned.

"So do you Mom...they're just buried," Emma thought to herself.

"So you think David isn't just pretending to be a good guy?" she asked curiously.

"No...he's genuine. Damon Tromera on the other hand...that guy is not only the biggest slime ball in the Universe, but I'm pretty sure he's dangerous," the deputy warned.

"I got that feeling too," the pixie haired woman replied.

"Yeah...go with that feeling. Whale is skeevy and mostly harmless. They both want in your pants, though I suspect Whale wants in any woman's pants that will let him. Damon though...that guy probably has done stuff that he should be in jail for," Emma warned.

"And David?" Mary asked hopefully. Emma smiled.

"He's a rarity. One of the few good ones and obviously just as smitten with you," Emma assured.

"You think?" the raven haired beauty asked. The blonde smirked.

"It's written all over his face when he looks at you," Emma said.

"Then you don't think it would be too soon to date?" she asked uncertainly.

"Usually I don't believe in true love much. But it does exist so if you find something that rare, it has to be fought for. And let's just say, I know the real thing when I see it," Emma said. It may not have been a subtle prodding, but with her parents, they didn't need subtle. They belonged together like no two people ever had. They were the epitome of true love and she knew as much as she could help reach her mother, it was ultimately her father that could truly awaken their love inside her.

"I don't know...I wonder if I could really have something good like that. I've been alone for so long," she murmured.

"You can and you deserve it. Don't you dare let Regina get to you," Emma implored.

"I just don't know why she hates me so much. I don't remember doing anything to her," Mary replied.

"Some people aren't happy, so they have to ruin other people's happiness to feel better about themselves," Emma told her.

"I guess...so you think David is a good guy?" the teacher asked again. The blonde smirked again.

"As close to Prince Charming as you can get," Emma answered.

Regina stormed into Gold's shop early the next morning in a fury.

"Madam Mayor, maybe you missed the sign, but I'm not open yet," Gold stated.

"Like I care. We need to talk," Regina snapped.

"Do we?" Gold questioned.

"What's your name?" she growled. He smirked.

"Mr. Gold...didn't you see the sign outside?" he said, pointing to the door.

"Don't get cute with me...what is your real name?" she snapped. Gold was confident from this line of questioning that the Mayor was not yet aware of Belle's absence from the psychiatric ward at the hospital. She would soon know, probably before lunchtime, in fact. But for now, he would enjoy toying with her. When she confronted him again, then he would play his hand and make it clear that he was going to make her pay.

"I'm not exactly sure what you're looking for, Madam Mayor. I am Mr. Gold. Mister. Gold," he repeated, rather enjoying the fury on her face.

"Dammit Gold...you know what I mean!" she screamed. He was silent, giving her an unnerving stare.

"No, Madam Mayor, I am afraid I do not. I know your young son was in quite a predicament yesterday, so I'll let your foul treatment of me slide...today," he warned. She searched his eyes and knew he was awake. But she also knew if her old mentor didn't want to say so, then he wouldn't until it suited him. He was like a snake and she had to be careful around him, especially if he truly had helped Charming. It baffled her though. He didn't just do things out of the kindness of his heart, which meant that idiot prince had something he wanted or so she thought.

"Fine, I don't have time for your games...today," she echoed, as she stormed out. Belle was still at his home. He had shown her the basics of how to operate certain appliances, including the phone in case she needed him. And he had provided her many books to read about this land and the town, of which she was eagerly devouring when he left for the shop. That would appease her for now, but he knew Belle. Even without her memories, she would want to interact with this new world and he would have to keep a watchful eye. If Regina dared to go after her again, he would have to find a way to counter her without magic. His alliance with Jefferson and Charming and by that extension, the Savior, would prove to be very useful...

Flashback

Approximately 60 years before the Dark Curse

As Deimos dropped to the ground, horrified by his new existence, Hades appeared to him through the reflective surface of Lake Nostos.

"It would seem that my brother's treachery knows no bounds, my friend," the God of the Underworld said regrettably.

"He...he must pay! He has curse me to a mortal existence!" Deimos raged.

"Yes...losing you as a right hand is most disturbing indeed," Hades agreed.

"I can still aide you! You must help me seek revenge!" Deimos pleaded. Hades smirked.

"There may be a way. Go to the Dark One's castle. He owes me a favor and cannot refuse. We will make him devise a solution to your problem," Hades said.

Since visiting hours didn't start until ten at the hospital, Emma left before Mary with the intention of making a secret stop at there to see her father before heading to the station. Graham wanted her to take the day shifts. She thought that was kind of odd since most bosses would leave the night shifts to the lower ranks. But he claimed to like the night shift so Emma wasn't going to complain.

Sneaking in before visiting hours was a little too easy with the sleeping dwarf on guard and she wasn't surprised to see her father awake. His face lit up at the sight of her and she felt an instant warmth in her; something she usually didn't feel when awake.

"Emma..." he uttered.

"Hey Dad," she whispered, as she sat down next to her bed.

"You're here early," he said pleasantly surprised.

"Yeah, I have the early shift at the station. I just wanted to tell you I think Mom will be by today. So you know, turn on the charm," she teased and he chuckled.

"You saw her already?" he asked.

"I'm actually staying with her. Regina pressured Granny into refusing me a room. She thinks that will run me out of town," she explained.

"That woman..." he growled.

"But I guess I'm glad you're under the same roof as Snow. That makes me feel more at ease. I guess now it's just up to me to court your mother all over again," he said.

"Yeah, that's kind of why I came. They don't call it courting here. They call it dating," Emma corrected.

"Okay...dating. Got it," he said.

"Yeah and they do different stuff here too. You can't go stringing Mom up in a net," she teased.

"Very funny," he replied.

"Just start by asking her to dinner at Granny's. It's casual," Emma suggested.

"Okay, but I think the woods will really jog her memory. That's where we fell in love, you know," he said. She smiled.

"I know. There is the toll bridge. I don't think it's a coincidence that this is where Mom found you last night or you found her," she said.

"It would make a great place for an after dinner walk," she hinted. He grinned.

"That's perfect. Thanks Em," he said.

"You're welcome, but I gotta go," she said.

"Okay...be careful. Even without magic, Regina is conniving and dangerous," he warned.

"I will. Love you," she said.

"Love you too princess," he said, as he watched her go. He was now a bundle of anxious energy. He wanted his family whole and he wanted it now.

Graham officially finished all the paperwork for his new deputy that morning. He realized it might seem hasty to some to hire this newcomer, but it had actually been at the suggestion of Mr. Gold the evening before. Graham had been running a little ragged lately and Gold had merely mentioned that having someone to help that also had some experience with the law might be greatly beneficial to their town.

Normally, he would question the pawnbroker's motivations, but he wasn't wrong about Emma Swan's experience as a bail bonds-person possibly being a valuable asset to the Sheriff's department. He had the budget for it and Regina would hate it. He found the later to be a surprising motivation to hire her as well.

So almost before he knew what was happening, he was handing the beautiful blonde the badge. He could admit that it was impulsive and not usually his way, but there was something special about Emma Swan. He had felt so since the moment she rolled into town. And lately, quiet and boring Storybrooke seemed to explode with a multitude of problems. Normally, he was a lone wolf, but taking on a deputy would be to the benefit of the people and that was what mattered most.

Regina set a bowl of her freshly picked honey crisp apples on the table. They were the cream of the crop from her prized tree and she picked one up, looking at it while recalling how an apple just like this one had sent her wretched step-daughter into a permanent slumber. Or at least it should have been permanent. She had planned to execute Charming just to make sure there would be no waking Snow. But his escape had led to true love's kiss waking Snow White and destroying everything she had worked for. What she wouldn't give for another poison apple to force down Mary Margaret Blanchard's pretty little throat.

But that wasn't an option. With no magic, she was going to have to get more creative. Gold had ruined her perfect plot to trap David in a marriage to Kathryn. Now that they were officially "divorced", it made giving him false memories a bit moot. No, she needed something else and she didn't know what yet, but she knew she would find something. She would be damned if she let Snow have her happiness after twenty-eight perfect years of making sure she was miserable.

She delighted in making sure to call her out in public every chance she got. A barb here, an insult there, and it had successfully made her into a shell of her former self. She chuckled to herself. She could barely make eye contact with anyone. It was a bonus that Damon Tromera was practically obsessed with her and stalked her.

"Hmm...maybe I can find a way to encourage him to be even bolder," she mused.

The only thing Mary Margaret seemed to love about her life was her job. Maybe she could take that. It would be easy to call the school and force them to terminate her employment. But no...Regina wanted it to be a very public shaming. There was no dirt to dig up on squeaky clean Mary Margaret, but that wouldn't stop her. She'd think of the perfect revenge...she always did.

Her reverie of just how she wanted to humiliate her step-daughter was interrupted when she heard an awful buzzing sound in the backyard. She hurried out and nearly fell over, as she watched the blonde menace take a chainsaw to her prized tree.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Regina screamed, as Emma killed the saw.

"Oh this? This is for messing with me," Emma spat.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Miss Swan," Regina goaded with an evil gleam in her eyes.

"My records were sealed..." Emma hissed.

"Oh, you mean your criminal record?" Regina taunted. Emma turned the saw on and finished off the tree, even as Regina yelled at her to stop.

"Your move, bitch. Oh...and do whatever the hell you want to me, but don't involve my son!¦" Emma spat.

"He's my son!" Regina growled back.

"For now. And leave Mary Margaret and David the hell alone," Emma warned. Regina narrowed her gaze.

"And why would you care so much about them?" Regina asked suspiciously.

"They're my friends," Emma replied simply, as she stalked back to her car. But Regina wasn't convinced. There was something else, but she couldn't put her finger on it. For now though, this wouldn't stand and she dialed a number on her phone.

"Find a way to unseal the rest of her records," Regina said into the receiver, before hanging up. She had the criminal record, but everything else from her childhood was still sealed. But Regina was determined to change that.

In effort to help him acclimate to this world, Jefferson had left a satchel full of books for him to go through the previous evening. It was a bit daunting, but Regina had twenty-eight years of knowledge of the way this world worked on him.

It boggled his mind at how intricate the curse was. The detail that went into it...the false memories that everyone, save for a few, had. The amount of dark magic it must have taken was mind blowing. It had inserted this town into a vast country seamlessly with those of this land being none the wiser. It was a strange land with strange customs, strange clothing, and though there was supposedly no magic, it had fascinating devices that certainly seemed like they should be magic.

But as he learned from reading, the magic of this world just had a different name. Technology. He read everything he could about the town. He didn't understand all of it. Regina was in charge though; that was enough to know that people were miserable.

His protective nature swelled in him when he thought of Snow living under Regina's thumb and with the threat of Deimos, a former God and evil to the core, stalking her. It made his blood boil. He had no idea how Deimos had survived their final encounter back in the Enchanted Forest, but if he got near Snow...Mary...he wouldn't survive again. He'd make sure of it.

Those troubling thoughts were interrupted thought by a most welcome voice, as he looked up and saw the vision of her in the doorway.

"Hi," Mary said shyly. His face lit up with a smile, as she stepped in.

"Hi," he greeted, as he put the book aside.

"I hope I'm not interrupting," she said.

"Not at all," he replied, as she sat beside the bag.

"I probably wasn't supposed to, but I thought you might be tired of hospital food so I stopped at the bakery and bought a cinnamon roll. It's huge and there's no way I can eat all of it by myself," she said, as she took it and two plastic forks out of the paper bag.

"The food this morning left a lot to be desired. The oatmeal they tried to feed me was pretty much flavorless paste," he agreed. She crinkled her nose and handed him a fork, as they dug into the large pastry together.

"Mmm...that's really good. I love cinnamon," he said. She smiled.

"Me too," she replied. He did indeed like cinnamon, but Snow had always been the one that couldn't get enough of it. And the thing he loved most about cinnamon wasn't really eating it, but rather tasting it on her lips when he kissed her. Gods...he wanted to kiss her. But he knew it was too soon.

"So...do you think they'll be releasing you soon?" Mary asked curiously.

"I hope so...I may have no memories, but I know I don't do well being confined," he mentioned.

"Maybe they'll let you outside for a walk in the courtyard? We...could go together?" she suggested. He smiled.

"I'd like that," he replied. She smiled shyly and noticed a smudge of frosting on the corner of his mouth.

"Hold still," she said, as she took her thumb and wiped the frosting from the corner of his mouth. But then she noticed how close they were now and they gazed into each other's eyes. And for him, it made him recall a very good memory.

"Hold still," Snow chided, as she wiped the smudge of fruit jam from the corner of his mouth. It was a rare afternoon where they had managed to escape the palace to have a picnic together. Usually their afternoons were spent tending to royal duties, responsibilities, or weapons training to keep in practice. So today was a very nice reprieve.

"You know, there's a better way you could clean that off," he teased. She looked at him coyly.

"Really?" she asked.

"Mmmhmm," he hummed, as their faces were mere inches apart. Snow smirked and kissed his lips in short pecks and she hummed into his kiss, as he locked her lips in a longer, passionate kiss.

"You're right, that is better," she mused.

"I can show you even better," he said in a husky tone. She smirked and he watched, mesmerized, as she climbed into his lap, while bunching up her casual gown.

"Then by all means, Prince Charming...show me," she purred. Their lips met anew and he kissed her deeply, his tongue dancing with hers. She was breathless by the time he lowered her to the blanket beneath them on the forest floor and despite being on the ground, he managed to make them fly...

He willed himself back to reality and gave her a half smile.

"Thanks," he said, as she found herself lost in his sapphire gaze.

"So...I can check with the nurse's station about that walk," she mentioned.

"Sounds perfect," he replied. She smiled and left briefly to arrange a walk for him with the nurses. It was only a matter of time now. The curse would break. He would get his wife back. They would finally be a family. And Regina was going to lose...

#Snowing #SnowxCharming #snowing fanfiction

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spotlightsaga · 7 years

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Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews… Orange is the New Black (S05E05) Sing It, White Effie Airdate: June 9, 2017 @oitnb Ratings: @netflix Score: 8.75

**********SPOILERS BELOW**********

OITNB has a habit of having white folks tell black folks’ stories… Normally you can kind of sense it right away, but after watching ‘Sing It, White Effie’ I had to look up the primary writer. I’ve talked about this a few times but never on this grand of a stage. I know that this has been addressed by many in previous years including Essence Magazine (which, yes I do read). It’s true that we as human beings, of blood and guts and organs and bones, are for the most part the exact same, sans a few genetic defects that only affect a certain race… And it’s true that some of us in different parts of the world have very different experiences due to environment. For instance, for over a decade in Miami, my only friends have been ones of color… Literally 98% Latin & Black… Despite how other parts of my family live, I live very differently. Growing up a 'sexually fluid’ ginger with a mother who was a very young teenager in high school gave me a vastly different experience than most. I’ve always celebrated my fucking weirdness. In high school I was literally a walking oxymoron, wearing 90 inch GAT pants I stole from the mall or borrowed from my friend, GlowGirl (yeah in the late 90s we all had Rave Names, didn’t you know?), paired with an oversized button up I found in my step-dads closet and a vest from Structure and Brooks Brothers eyeglasses that my Grandmother bought me on a visit… Not to mention spiked up Backstreet Boy haircut (that may or may not have been blue), tousled in the front, and fucking candy and jelly bracelets from the base of my thumbs up past my elbows. What the fuck, right? You’d think I’d look back and hate it, but all I see is a RAD fn’ Rave Star with 'anti-anti’ 90’s culture embodiment… Serving up Rave-Tastic Soccer Playing Prep Freak “on a Lemonade budget”…. Thank you, Shea Coulee!

Diversity has always been a part of my life in one way or another. I love to trade perspectives. I ask questions and offer up personal experiences instead of telling people their way of thinking is wrong, because I want people to understand me and I want to understand them. I truly believe that if we all at least tried to understand each other instead of this 'This opinion is right. This opinion is wrong,’ divisive mindset so many have seem to have adopted as of late the world would be a much better place. That being said, I just wrote a few articles on the 3rd Season of '60 Days In’ and stated there were certain topics I couldn’t completely speak on, even being a diverse ginger gringo faggot or whatever anyone wants to throw my way. On the internet today I was told I have a PHD in Cock Sucking (and other things that literally just look like letters on a page to me) and on the bus just last Monday, I let Snapchat take a quick, disappearing peak at a woman attacking my partner and I on the bus with an umbrella who called us 'stretched out asshole faggot cock sucking mother fuckers that will fry in hell’, I couldn’t make this shit up even if I tried. She had gotten a glimpse at my partner helping me on the bus because I have some issues moving around on Monday’s due to some disc issues in the upper parts of my back and went in for the kill when my partner asked if she could please turn the music down that she was blasting from her phone like she wasn’t aware that one can totally sonically invade someone’s space. None of these experiences give me the proper perspective needed to make a complete series featuring an episode that looks through the lens of a woman of color’s standpoint on Culture Appropriation on an all white 'DreamGirls’ production at the 'White School of Rich Bitch Privilege’.

Don’t get me wrong, this is probably the best take on racial issues I’ve ever seen on OITNB. I was moved, accomplished NYC playwright and television writer & editor Molly Smith Metzler, whose worked on two of my favorite Streaming Only series (OITNB & Hulu’s 'Casual’) is a raw talent that streaming networks would be lucky to have work on their exclusive series… But it all still felt like it was missing something. Some might tell you that the 'diversity’ plays itself out in front of the camera, but I assure you as a writer that it takes a village. When it comes to television particularly, everything is filtered through a lens after a lens after another lens…. As the showrunner draws out a storyboard with producers and then oversees the writing of a script which is handed to an editor and then off to a director which directs the actors who have their own interpretation of that character who are then filmed and framed by a cinematographer who hands over the multiple takes to an editor, who then slices and dices and puts together the final product that the network may possibly need to approve and by now I’m out of fucking breath. And I didn’t even mention the composers, casting directors, production designers, art directors, set decorators, costumes, makeup, the fn’ art department, sound department who collaborates with special effects people, not to be confused with the visual effects crew and the dozens and dozens of others who’s lens it funnels through to make a finished product. Did I make a point yet?

'Sing It, White Effie’ is by far the best of #OITNB5 but just like the tears that filled my eyes during the final moments when a young Janae has an epiphany when she realizes what her trip to a private school that has a trio of rich white girls playing the main characters of 'DreamGirls’ truly represents…. Just like Taystee’s beautiful, enthralling speech that I’m sure we all applauded and were worked up over emotionally… It just could have been better. No matter what you know, no matter what you’ve seen, no matter how intense your empathy radar is, no matter how many shoes you have traded with other people… We can write out someone else’s story, we can do our research, we can firmly believe the things we say, we can identify pieces of a puzzle of someone else’s story through idiosyncratic experiences, but we’ll never be able to put the entire puzzle together without the missing piece.

I don’t want it to seem like I’m complaining, I’m only imagining that a fantastic show could be even bolder, even more intense, even more 'on the nose’ with it’s ironic comedy style, that’s sometimes dark so that it fades into the drama with more ease. I love OITNB, I do. I would go as far as to say that this is the most bingeable show ever created. The hardest thing I’ve had to do in the past few months (thank god) is to decide to go to sleep instead of watching and writing about another episode of this very show. Slowly but surely, the inmates of Litchfield are shown to notice little things that are waking them to the impending consequences that are sure to devastate these women in a major way.

Right now it’s the little things, like Suzanne (Uzo Aduba), the usual most 'out of touch’ resident of Litchfield, observing the fact that she’s not being fed during regular hours. Gloria (Selenis Leyva) has come to a point where she is completely overwhelmed, she can’t carry on her normal duties anymore. Her genuine concern for Daya (Dascha Polanco) as well as her inner turmoil she’s experiencing for generally losing control paired with the backfiring of attempting to steal the gun from Daya to impede the takeover is a weight she can no longer carry. Her phone call to Diaz (Elizabeth Rodriguez) was another truly successful, relatable, and dramatic moment that puts the audience inside Litchfield for an oh-so important instant. I think we can all relate to a point in time where we are completely at a loss for what to do in a situation, maybe we want to ask for help, but we don’t know how, or even where to start, or even if we could be helped at all… So you just need a familiar voice on the other end of the line. The family dynamic is so strong with this one, and as a person who lives in a Latin Dominated city, there’s a certain way that pride is carried here that I see in these characters. These actresses are truly amazing to bring their distinct perspective into a script that is not their own, essentially that is what makes this show so special in these dramatic points of reference. It is bigger than the writers, who are great, but just not as diverse as we would like.

If it’s one thing that a talented white woman would write with a pristine birds eye view, it’s satire of a what it would be like to be a rich white woman turned into a slave by white supremacists… Oh yeah, and one white nationalist. Judy King (Blair Brown) looks completely insane with her messy hair, ketchup stained face, and belt leash around her neck. I literally can’t stop laughing as I write this. The image will be forever stored in the memory banks of my brain. Taystee is PISSED. The Helicopter Press snapping a photo of Judy King tied to a cross on top of a roof by skinheads wearing hijab’s has interfered with Taystee’s intentions, which means everyone’s intentions, but most importantly… Justice for Poussey. She means to buy Judy off of the skinheads and grab 'The PR Guy’ Josh (John Palladino) to issue a statement, but the skinheads make Taystee & Friends work for it, holding a ridiculous auction, which doesn’t really work… But for the sake of moving the core narrative onward in what is as close to real-time as possible, I suppose it’s fine…. I’m just not sure where everyone else came from considering in one scene they were alone and the next minute the area is full of potential bidders. Just goes to show you even some of the best shows are fat from perfect.

Pensatucky (Taryn Manning) has yet another memorable moment, again the drama is really what is setting this season ablaze. Big Boo (Lea DeLaria) catches Pensatucky & Coates (James McMenamin) making out. Of course, this not only enrages Boo for obvious reasons, but it also has her worried for Pensatucky’s safety. A lot of people seem incredibly uncomfortable with this subplot, but Manning delivers the true Pensatucky 'thought process’ in a 'methamphetamine metaphor’ that’s just divine. 'No matter how much I wanted different, I had to respect the chemicals… Because Lye doesn’t feel anything until it touches ephedrine’, Pensatucky means this… And even if you don’t understand the white trash chemistry behind the metaphor, she delivers it in the most earnest & steady manner. There’s a beauty to it. She continues… 'Have you ever wanted somebody that you shouldn’t?’ Boo doesn’t have it, 'Of course. It’s called masturbating. Now say goodbye and walk the fuck away, son.’ Pensatucky is a character that we’ve already explored so much throughout the past 4 ½ seasons, but there are so many notes to this character and to Manning’s delivery that they could literally go on forever. This is the very opposite of Piper (Taylor Schilling) who literally seems like a new person, someone completely alien to the Piper who kicked off the show in S1. Even her interactions with Alex (Laura Prepon) feel off key. Maybe prison is changing her? Or maybe they have no idea what to do with the character. They certainly know what they want to do with Alex, as she has started a bit of an 'outdoor prison’ revolution… Grass Roots, if you will!

We should mention that Coates escapes by way of Pensatucky stealing the gun from 'The Incompetent Queens of White Trash’, Angie (Julie Lake) and Leanne (Emma Myles), who don’t even realize that their 'secret hiding place’ they stored the gun while on a massive DXM trip is actually the back of the belt that Angie had no idea she was wearing. Coates actually takes the gun with him… All of these events have me worried for Pensatucky and there is really only so much that Boo can do. Right before his grand escape, Taystee and company lead Judy out for a press conference. Taystee begins and Danielle Brooks delivers her words like a Viola Davis or Meryl Streep in the making. She hands it over to Judy but pulls back when she realizes that Judy lying about her ill treatment will only hurt their cause… And to roll back to my original point, which I rolled off on a bit of a passionate tangent… Taystee literally says the words that I positioned that first point around… Judy King cannot speak for Taystee or any of the inmates, for that matter. This isn’t exactly a Pensatucky 'Methamphetamine Metaphor’ but dammit… In the face of previous controversy the show, particularly the writers room, has been accused of, you’d think that they’d hire equally as talented women of color to write this speech, portions of these episode, entire episodes. Once again, I take nothing away from the talented Molly Smith Metzler, she did an excellent job here… I just think that this scene, as well as others, could pack so much more power and benefit from the proper frame of reference.

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olehistorian · 8 years

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Almost unrecognisable from her role as the dowdy housekeeper in Downton Abbey, Phyllis Logan is starring in an exotic new medical drama. She talks to Judith Woods about seizing the day and those Downton movie rumours… 'Obviously I never had a career to speak of before Downton Abbey,’ says Phyllis Logan drily, raising an eyebrow for further effect. ‘I sometimes wonder how on earth did I fill my time?’ It’s not true, of course, but we all know what she means: sometimes a jobbing actress is swept away by a juggernaut of a role that takes her a very long way from where she used to be. The Downton effect has had an impact on the career of every member of its award-winning ensemble cast. Lily James has starred in the BBC’s War & Peace and the movie Cinderella, Michelle Dockery landed a role as a criminal in the gritty US show Good Behavior, Joanne Froggatt played a serial killer in the ITV series Dark Angel – and now Phyllis is set to star in a new ITV drama series, The Good Karma Hospital. But it’s her years in service to the Crawley family that have made her a poster girl for ladies of a certain age who refuse to accept that life holds no more adventure. When her doughty but warm-hearted character Mrs Hughes finally found love with the pompous but kindly butler Mr Carson, it struck a blow for midlife love. In those days ‘Mrs’ was an honorific title bestowed on senior female staff, regardless of whether they had ever wed, so Mrs Hughes’s comical angst about whether he would be expecting ‘a full marriage’ struck a chord with any woman over 40 who has ever fretted about going to bed with a new partner. ‘Mrs Hughes was aerated about the sex thing because she probably hadn’t had much experience, but that turned out to be the least of her bloomin’ worries,’ acknowledges Phyllis. ‘God preserve us all from nitpicking middle-aged men who can’t abide change.’ In the phenomenally successful series, which ran for six seasons, Mr Carson (played by Jim Carter) turned out to be irrevocably stuck in his ways – the routines of the big house where he had been serving for many years. Ironically, it was his new wife’s performance in the couple’s kitchen (as opposed to the bedroom) that proved his greatest source of disappointment. Eventually, with affectionate pragmatism, the pair decided he should eat his meals at the Downton kitchen, cooked by Mrs Patmore, as before. ‘It’s a very identifiable scenario,’ says Phyllis, 61. ‘When a more mature couple makes a life together, each brings certain expectations and baggage and of course there’s always need for compromise, which some men in particular find difficult. Phyllis, once best known for playing posh totty Lady Jane Felsham in the 1980s and 90s series Lovejoy, was a late starter herself when it came to settling down. She met her husband, Pirates of the Caribbean actor Kevin McNally, in the 1993 miniseries Love and Reason when she was in her late 30s, but they didn’t get round to tying the knot until she was 55. ‘I had always sworn I would never have an actor in the house because they are so much trouble and so vain, but you can’t legislate for Cupid’s bow,’ she says. When she got together with Kevin, theirs was not a series of careful compromises but a classic coup de foudre. ‘I never thought real love – the sort where your blood tingles and your world explodes with joy – would happen to me at my time of life. I believed I had missed out. But I’m ever so glad it happened.’ A couple of years later, aged 40, she had their son David. He is now 20 and studying music and music production at university in Leeds. Once upon a time, reaching six decades was a milestone to be dreaded rather than celebrated, but, in well-cut jeans and a flattering floaty top, her burnished hair hanging loose, Phyllis provides incontrovertible proof that though life may not begin at 60, it sure as heck continues at a rip-roaring pace – as long as you have the right attitude towards the rollercoaster. ‘We packed David off to university not so long ago and as we drove back to our house in West London we were listening to the Elaine Paige show on Radio 2,’ recalls Phyllis. ‘She played Peggy Lee singing “The Folks Who Live on the Hill” and as soon as I heard the line “and when the kids grow up and leave us” I burst into absolute floods of tears and spent the rest of the journey splashing about in the passenger seat. But since then I’ve thought a lot about empty nest syndrome and how once your chick flies the coop it gives women the freedom to stretch their own wings once more, too.’ And as fate would have it, Phyllis’s new role in The Good Karma Hospital has allowed her to do just that and will doubtless prove a source of inspiration to a great many female viewers in a similar position. Set in India, the series features another estimable actress, Amanda Redman, 59, who plays an eccentric expat running a ramshackle cottage hospital, which is short on resources and long on compassion. ‘It’s a cross between Holby City and The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel but with dark secrets, so it should be right up everybody’s street,’ says Phyllis. ‘I play Maggie Smart, who has come to India for her daughter’s wedding and becomes unwell, so ends up in hospital and falls deeply in love. Not with a man – she already has a husband – but rather with the community, the culture and the way of life. She’s a fascinating character who has such humour and joie de vivre and it was great to play a woman finding herself and connecting with a wider spirituality.’ Phyllis spent months filming the six-part series on location in Sri Lanka. She, too, found herself smitten with the place and the people and at one point Kevin flew over from the US where he is in the cast of the US television series Turn: Washington’s Spies and they managed a 12-day break together. ‘We stayed in a hotel on the beach and it was bliss. The majority of the population are Buddhists and seemed so calm, open and thankful for whatever life gave them; I think we could all learn from them.’ All the same, Phyllis isn’t entirely convinced she believes in karma as a concept. ‘It would be nice to think that if you are a decent human being then eventually things will turn out right,’ she says. ‘But fate can intervene and pull the rug out from under you without warning and there might be nothing you can do.’ It is something she and Kevin can speak of from personal experience. Phyllis’s mother died from a dementia-related illness aged 90, but it was the agonisingly slow decline of Kevin’s mother over many years that proved more devastating. ‘Kev’s mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in her early 60s and from then on his father became her carer and it was so hard for him. She reached the point where she didn’t recognise her own son and was agitated and upset because she had no idea where she was or who she was; that was heartbreaking to witness.’ Phyllis is an ambassador for Dementia UK and does what she can to support the charity’s work. ‘It’s such a cruel disease. I am aware there’s a genetic component so I do brain-training on my phone every day. Will that help stave it off? I have no idea; I think of Iris Murdoch – such a clever woman who dealt with words and complex memories all her life, and yet all those things that made her so creative and unique were taken while she was still alive. Ultimately, all you can do is cross your fingers and make the most of every day.’ Phyllis is certainly doing that. Last year was a veritable Air Miles bonanza; as well as her sojourn in Sri Lanka she went to Sydney for a Downton DVD launch, Los Angeles where the ensemble cast of Downton won yet another Screen Actors Guild Award, and then to New York to receive the prestigious Great Scot Award from the US branch of the National Trust for Scotland (previous recipients include comedian Billy Connolly and actor Alan Cumming). She wore a dress bought in John Lewis embellished for the occasion with a tartan sash and matching ribbon. ‘I’m not interested in fashion,’ Phyllis confides. ‘It’s just not on my radar. Whenever I’m doing a contemporary role, the wardrobe mistress will usually say, “Let’s go to Selfridges and get a personal shopper.” Most women would probably love it, but my face falls because I absolutely hate trying on clothes. One of the things I loved about Downton was the fact I had two outfits and maybe a coat if I got to go into the village; the girls in the Crawley family kept having to go for fittings every time there was a big dinner, which would have driven me mad.’ Logan loves… Reading Alan Bennett’s Keeping On Keeping On. I love him; my husband Kev played him in the stage version of The Lady in the Van. Listening to The Today programme on Radio 4 and Classic FM. Watching I do enjoy a good nature documentary. Planet Earth II was spectacularly good. Guilty pleasure A whole bag of Kettle Chips with a crisp glass of Picpoul de Pinet. Beauty product Boots No7 moisturiser; it’s not fancy but it does the job. Desert island luxury A karaoke machine, stage, lights and all the songs from the 70s. I’ll make a row of coconuts for an audience and there’ll be no stopping me. The ongoing international popularity of Downton means Phyllis and various other cast members are still asked to appear at events to meet the fans and launch DVDs. She’s often asked about her wigs and whether she kept one; she had three identical hairpieces all of which she affectionately dubbed Elsie. ‘People ask me if I was tempted to take a wig or that big bunch of keys I carried, but that would be theft, because these things aren’t my property,’ says Phyllis emphatically. ‘Besides, if there’s a Downton movie, which I hope will happen, all the props and costumes will be needed.’ Ah yes, the Downton film; rumours still swirl but so far there’s been no confirmation. According to Phyllis it may yet happen if – and it’s a huge if – the cast members can ever be gathered in one place long enough. ‘It’s like herding cats!’ she laughs. ‘We’re all so busy and in different countries, but it would be such fun to get together again. The camaraderie on set was extraordinary.’ Phyllis was in every episode of the family saga. Her husband even appeared in a handful of episodes as Horace Bryant, the stern father of an army major who fraternised with housemaid Ethel (Amy Nuttall), getting her pregnant before he died in action. Horace persuaded her to hand over his grandchild to him, which was brutal but necessary as she had been sacked from Downton in disgrace and had taken to prostitution in order to survive. ‘I was quite miffed that the producer had offered Kev a job without even consulting me,’ laughs Phyllis. ‘I wouldn’t dream of queering his pitch – although I do think I’d be great as Johnny Depp’s mother in a Pirates of the Caribbean film [in which Kevin plays Joshamee Gibbs]. And every lad needs a cuddle from his mother now, doesn’t he?’ Her eyes glitter with the sort of mischief Mrs Hughes would most certainly not approve of, but now Phyllis has emerged from the shadow of her fictional alter ego, she is keen to push boundaries. Last summer she resolved to challenge herself by taking on a theatre role in a dazzling touring production of Noël Coward’s Present Laughter, alongside Samuel West. ‘The prospect of going back on stage was a bit frightening, but that is exactly why I embraced it,’ she says. ‘I can be a bit of a scaredy-cat so I have to push myself and I was so very glad I did. It took me right back to my early days as an actress: booking my own digs, sitting on the seafront on my day off eating fish and chips. I also got to see fascinating places such as Canterbury, Cambridge and Brighton.’ Seeing the world – be it near or far – is something she gently urges all women to do once the kids have left. ‘Travel does broaden the mind and fill the senses,’ she says. ‘It gives you a new perspective and there are so many beautiful regions in Britain that I can think of no better way to spend time than exploring them because you’re a long time dead – so carpe diem, ladies!’ The Good Karma Hospital will be on ITV next month. Phyllis is an ambassador for Dementia UK and is supporting its campaign timeforacuppa.org Styling: Natalie Read. Hair: Alex Price at Frank Agency. Make-up: Lucy Gibson at Frank Agency using Clinique. Table and vase, both Habitat Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-4128572/Interview-Downton-star-Phyllis-Logan.html#ixzz4WSbvI2CF Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

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