#GUESS WHO JUST FINISHED STUDYING FOR BUSINESS EXAMS

[crispycreambacon]

I just wanna draw the Genie becoming a trans woman and maybe hold hands with the Professor while she's at it, why do I have to memorize how to calculate gearing ratios

[lewisvinga]

thank you, nurse ! | lando norris x nursing student! reader

summary; everyone thought it was strange yn never made it to races until it’s finally revealed why

fc; belajuliana_

note; as a future nursing student, i needed this

nclex is the exam you take after finishing the nursing program to become a registered nurse !!!!

masterlist !

liked by landonorris, bsfusername, and 120,038 others!

yourusername: post-night clinicals, at least it was w bsfusername !

bsfusername: we better get on our professors good side after doing night clinicals 3 weeks in a row😒😒

yourusername: night clinicals are a vibe

bsfusername: they really are especially with a mcdonald’s iced coffee

yourusername: ‘murica 🦅🦅

username: omg

username: SHES A NURSING STUDENT

username: so pretty omg

landonorris: nurse help!! i’m hurt, i think you need to check it out 😏😉

yourusername: i’m not registered yet sorry😕😕😕

landonorris: babe, pls play along 💔💔

yourusername: SORRY BABE, i can heal u quickly 😉

username: she’s pretty, smart, and helps people in need , she really got y’all

username: clinicals are NO joke, no wonder she couldn’t make it to any races

liked by username, username, and 349,937 others!

f1wags: Lando Norris and his girlfriend, Y/n L/n, were spotted at dinner just 2 days before the Silverstein Grand Prix!

username: the way she looks at him🥹🥹

username: everyone doubting her love for him when she smiles at him like THAT

username: he deserves better

username: like you?? LMFAOO

username: they’re so cute what

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 1,748,927 others!

landonorris: P2 and a 🏆 at my home race !!!!!!!! ❤️you guys are crazyyyyyyyyy 💙 extra thank you to my favorite nurse for nursing me back to health 💓💓

tagged; yourusername

yourusername: do not be fooled everyone, it was just a cut which i healed with a hello kitty band aid!

landonorris: like i said, thank you, nurse !

yourusername: so so so so proud of u🥹🥹

liked by landonorris !

username: lando p2 is everything

username: LANDO PODIUM AT HIS HOME RACE!!

mclaren: 🧡

username: he fr loves her

username: ‘my favorite nurse’ ME AND WHO😫😫

username: the clip of her in mclaren’s garage🥹

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 394,038 others!

yourusername: p2 for my love 🧡🧡 so unbelievably proud of you! here’s to many more podiums! i love you so much🧡🧡

tagged; landonorris

landonorris: AWHHH

landonorris: i love you so much , thank you for being my lucky charm and for nursing me back to health w my paper cut🧡🧡🧡💓💓💓

yourusername: i’ll nurse you back to health anytime 💗💗

oscarpiastri: don’t let lando fool you he squealed

yourusername: when doesn’t he squeal

username: omg they’re so cute

username: laying on the highway tonight

username: i want to know what manifestations yn did bc they’re ADORABLE

yourusername posted to their story !

liked by yourusername, bsfusername, and 1,203,938 others!

landonorris: guess who is dating an official!! registered pediatric nurse!!!! congratulations on passing the nclex my love. so proud of you for making it through nursing school. i love you so much, Y/n L/n R.N.

tagged; yourusername

yourusername: couldn’t have done it w/o our facetime sessions 🥹🥹

landonorris: making sure you study hard, R.N!!

yourusername: R.N. does sound nice 😌

yourusername: i love love love love you!!!!

landonorris: and i love love love love love you!!!

yourusername: happy to nurse my favorite driver back to health any day

landonorris: searching up on how to purposely get sick 🧐🧐🧐🧐

username: OMGOMGOMG

username: she was busy in nursing school that’s why she couldn’t visit 😫😫

username: she helps KIDS you can’t hate her 😫

username: idk if i want him or her

oscarpiastri: congrats!!! now can you visit lando more often so i don’t have to hear him whining all the time!!!

yourusername: i’ll try😌

landonorris: i don’t whine that much !!

carlossainz55: enhorabuena! [congratulations]

yourusername: gracias ❤️🧡 [thank you]

username: lando’s girlfriend being a nurse is everything

username: lando won the lottery omggg

[sturniqlo]

Drunken Mistake- C.S

summary: frat boy!chris and nerd!y/n have been dating for over a year and thier relationship has had many bumps and he does something unforgivable.

cw: cursing, toxic relationship, ANGST; mentions of bullying, crying, arguing, cheating, break up, rejection

an: wonderful idea by the one and only @monroesturnns | ps. i do not condone cheating! remember this is pure fiction!!

masterlist | join my taglist

-----------------------------------------------

"god, i wish that you had thought this through, before i went and fell in love with you."- traitor, o.r

-

-

"Come on, baby." Chris kissed down Y/n's neck as she was writing down some notes. "Just this one party, you haven't been to one of my frat parties in over two months." He continued his trail up to her jaw and eventually landed on her lips. "Chris, you know I don't like parties. I need to finish my notes for my exam. I'll go to the next one, okay?"

"That's what you said two weeks ago! It's the next time! Let's- just stop studying for once and go to this fucking party!" He raises his voice and Y/n sensed an argument boiling. "Watch your tone! You know how important school is to me, my parents sent me here to study! Not to get sucked into the partying lifestyle, that's not me!"

"Yeah, yeah, your parents this tuition that, you're like some fucking nerd! Let loose for once. Fuck!" He gets off of her. "Fuck you! Partying shouldn't be your top priority, Chris. Just stay in for once, miss one little party and study! I haven't seen you open your book in two weeks. Am I going to have to make space in my schedule and tutor you again?"

Before Y/n and Chris got together. They weren't very fond of each other. But, Chris was too busy partying and he was failing his classes. He was on the verge of being kicked out of his fraternity. Somehow Chris got kicked out of living in the frat house- but he was still apart of it- so he moved in with his two brothers. Chris wasn't doing anything about his failing grades so his brothers took care of it.

Their childhood friend, Y/n, was a very smart girl. Nick mentioned it to her when they hung out and she was hesitant at first. But when she realized Nick was concerned for Chris' grades, she agreed. The relationship between Chris and Y/n was rocky at first. It hadn't always been like that. Before high school, they were stuck to the hip but once junior year came along, Y/n started getting bullied by one of the popular girls and guess who ended up dating her? Chris.

Chris had known about this but still chose to date his friends bully. Y/n slowly started distancing herself from Chris. Fast forward four years, she was tutoring him and a couple of months later they eventually started dating.

"God! Are you ever going to let that go? You always bring it up in every fucking argument. Just come to this party!" She shakes her head. "No, whenever I go you always end up with your friends in the corner leaving me alone in a room full of people I don't know! No, is my final answer." Chris grew even more aggravated. "Fine, I'll go alone." He walks towards the bedroom door and opens it. "Just know, you aren't the only girl in my life."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" She said, her anxiety rising. "Exactly as it sounds like." With that, he slammed the door behind him and left. Y/n stayed there, sitting on his bed while he went to the stupid party.

"Where you going?" Matt asks as he sees Chris head for the front door. "A party." He says. "You're going to a party while Y/n is over?" He said. Matt has seen Chris do this a couple of times but he's never asked about it. "Yeah, so what? If she doesn't want to go why should I have to miss it?"

"It's a bit rude. You know? She's here, in your room while you're at a party." Chris scoffs at Matt's words. "Look, I don't need a lecture from you too. Let me live my life, if she doesn't want to go it's up to her that she wants to stay and read her fuckass books." He repeats what he did just a couple of minutes ago. He opens the door and slams it behind him.

Matt goes down the small set of stairs and knocks of Chris' door where Y/n is on the other side of. "Come in." He hears her say. "Hey, it's me. You okay down here?" Her eyes are glossed over and her face has tear marks. "I'm okay. I- you know how Chris is with his parties." She chuckles sadly. "I just wish he would put his school work first sometimes. I mean, he's paying all of this money to just party."

"Why don't you try to talk to him about it?" He says. "I have! All he say is that I should put my work aside and stop being a nerd." Matt shakes his head. Chris has always teased her about focusing on her work.

"Can I ask you something?" She says. "Go ahead." He says nodding. "Has Chris ever- I don't know- has he ever mentioned someone else?" He furrows his eyebrows. "Like, another girl?" She nods. "No, no, if he did you know I would tell you. Why do you ask? You think he's seeing someone else, or?"

"No?" She questions. "He just said something before he left and it had me thinking."

"I'm sure he just said it out of anger. I doubt he'd ever do that to you."

Later that night, around two in the morning, Chris came in stumbling. "Bro, you're drunk as shit." Matt scolded him, helping him down the stairs. "No I'm not." He giggled. "How'd you even get home? You better have not driven." Chris shakes his head. "I walked it. I saw sixty three- no! Sixty eight trees."

Chris opens the door and sees Y/n sleeping. "Okay, you can let me go now." Chris pulls away from Matt and pushes him out the room. "Okay, goodn-" He slams the door, causing Y/n to wake up. "Chris? What are you doing." She whispers. "Look at you, not studying for once. Not being a nerd right now?" He laughs. Y/n rolls her eyes. "I don't have time for this right now." She sighed and gets out of the bed and grabs her phone.

"Babe, I'm only kidding." He grabs her arm as she reaches for the doorknob. "Chris, stop. We'll talk in the morning."

Y/n stirs awake from the constant vibration of her phone. Stretching from her spot on the couch where she slept last night after Chris came back. She grabbed her phone and saw that she had many texts from her friends, even from people she hasn't really spoke to.

Still half asleep, she clicks on a message from a girl in her tuesday class. Furrowing her eyebrows at the message she replies back.

y/n

what's going on?

hailey

*video attachment*

The video started out as a girl posing for pictures. "Yes! Now pose like- oh my god?" The girl recording pointed to two people. "What is it?" She girl posing said and stopped posing. "Isn't that Chris Sturniolo over there?" The girl recording put the phone down but another girl spoke. "No, don't stop recording! Get this, he has a fucking girlfriend. And that isn't her." The camera pans up and Chris comes into view, but he's kissing a girl. Y/n gasps and her heart drops. This was from last night.

"What the hell!" Y/n's voice shakes and she sits up in shock. She continues watching the video. The camera girl zooms in on them. "What a fucking loser, like actually." The two of them continue kissing and Y/n has had enough and shuts her phone off.

Her tears start streaming down her face. How could he? Yeah they were a bit toxic but she never thought Chris would cheat on her. She gets up from her spot in her couch and runs down to Chris' room. Barging in she immediately starts yelling. "Chris, wake the fuck up!" Chris jumps up from his bed. "Is someone dying? What the fuck. My head is pounding." His eyes adjust to the bright lights.

"How could you Chris? Really? How fucking could you?" She cried. "What happened, babe?" He gets up and goes to hug her. "No! Don't fucking touch me! You cheated on me! You- you fucking asshole!" Chris' face went pale. "I- uh- what?!" He stutters over his words. "You don't have shit on me." He shakes his head.

"Don't act stupid! I saw a video of you making out with a girl last night! I don't understand, did you do it out of anger because I didn't go to a fucking party? Or have you been doing this our whole relationship. I- I should've listened to my friends, I can't believe I loved you." Her tears haven't stopped falling down. "Y/n, hear me out." He says hesitantly. "No! How could you explain that. You betrayed me, Chris!"

"I- we're done, Chris. I don't ever want to hear from you again. I've given you so many chances, Chris. So many- but this, I can't forgive you for it." She pauses before she continues on. "Maybe she'll go to all of your frat parties and not stay home like the nerd that I am. I really can't believe you've went this far. Goodbye Chris." She wipes her tears with her sleeve and turns around to leave the room.

"Y/n.." He starts off, but nothing else's comes out.

"Hey, hey, hey, what happened?" Matt gets up from the table when he sees Y/n come up the stairs crying. He had heard them arguing but it was muffled so he decided to go out in case things escalated. He knew they had been a bit tense since last night. "I- ask Chris. I can't- I can't be here right now, I'm sorry." Her voice cracks and she grabs her bag. "I'll see you around." She says before leaving their home.

For the next couple of days, Chris spent them in his room. Napping, watching his and Y/n's favorite show and youtube videos. He sent her many messages and called her many times. They were all ignored. Chris didn't blame her, he fucked up. He didn't know why he did what he did. He was drunk and angry.

Nick and Matt were furious at him. For one, Chris cheated on her. And two, they probably lost one of their childhood friends who was always there for them. Nick and Matt would text her but she would either send and bland response or not answer at all. They just wanted their friend back.

"Where're you going?" Nick says coldly when he sees his brother come up the stairs. "To Y/n's apartment." Nick furrows his eyebrows. "You talked to her?" He shakes his head. "Then why the hell are you going over there? Is her ignoring your calls and messages not ringing a bell? She doesn't want to talk to you. What makes you think she'd want to see you?"

"I just- I want to apologize and try to get her back. I miss her." He rubs his face with his hands. "Not to sound like a dick or anything, but she's not going to take you back. You fucking cheated on her! And dare I say it, with your ex fucking girlfriend who bullied her, Chris. You're delusional if you think you're getting her back. And thanks to you, she barely even talks to me or Matt. Do you not realize that not only did you ruin your relationship with her, you ruined mine and Matt's relationship with her. But go ahead and try to talk to her." Nicks hand comes down on the table as he gets up from his seat and walks towards his set of stairs.

"I still can't believe you would hurt her like that."

Chris sighed and slumped on a chair. A couple of minutes later, he got up and walked out of the house.

He walked up the stairs of her apartment building hallway and made his way to her door. Luckily he had remembered the code to get in the building. His first comes up and knocks. After a couple of seconds he hears her unlocking the door. "Iris you're here earl- what are you doing here?" Her face drops when she sees that her friend isn't at the door. "Y/n I want to apologize. I want you back, please." He begs.

"No, Chris. I can't put myself through that again. Do you know how much that hurt me? All because I didn't want to go to a party, Chris. A fucking party! I can't be with someone who cheats when I don't want to do something." She spoke loudly. "Y/n, baby, I promise I won't hurt you ever again. I promise." He begged her. "Please." His voice quivered.

She hated seeing him like this. But, for once, she decided to put herself first. "No, Chris. I- I can't do this anymore. I can't be with you anymore." His eyes welled up with tears. "Y/n." He spoke in desperation. "Y/n, please," She shook her head. "Go, Chris." She whispered.

"Don't make this harder than it should be."

[vxnuslogy]

— lost to time ft. sae itoshi

— warnings: angst, character death, slight ooc?

— author's note: a reupload of my favorite work on sae while i finish editing the next 2 chapters of my hazbin series. enjoy!

— first recording

“hi sae! i heard from rin that you’ll be leaving for spain. i’m really sorry i couldn’t come to see you off, i’ve been busy studying, you know, for exams and stuff. but that’s beside the point! i wish you all the best sae! do your best and when you come back home, you better be the world’s best striker yeah? don’t worry, everything will pass by quickly so don’t miss me too much ok?”

sae hated planes. he hated them quite a lot. in was a constant reminder of that time when he was only 14, leaving home to go to spain to live out his dreams only for it to be crushed 4 years later. sae hated the airport, it was always so busy and so stuffy and so cramped. he hated the feeling of being surrounded by unfamiliar strangers, hated the feeling of people brushing up against him even if they didn’t really mean it. sae hated winter. it was the season he severed his bond with his precious little brother after all. it was the season he turned his back on him and it was the season he had wished to never relive again.

-

— second recording

“hey hey guess who’s sending you another voice message? it’s me obviously, why didn’t you tell me you were back already?! if you did i would’ve picked you up from the airport!

……

is something the matter sae? you haven’t picked up any of your parents’ calls and their really worried about you. you can always talk to me remember? i’ll always be here to listen, ok? don’t bottle everything up, it’ll do more bad than good. well, i have to go now. talk with your parents every once in a while will you? ever since you left for spain you’ve pretty much cut off all contact, even with me. that’s all, good night sae.”

sae didn’t really like flowers. he thought they were a hassle. plants that require specific needs and if not met, they’ll wilt. sae was never fond of them but here he was, standing in front of the counter of a local flower shop as the elderly shopkeeper wrapped a bouquet – filled with carnations, gardenias, lilies, roses, and chrysanthemums. 

everything passes.

— college; third recordings

“i got into my dream college sae! can you believe that! honestly, i was really nervous when i took the entrance exams, but thankfully i studied real hard and managed to pass! i’ll be moving into the dorms soon. i’m gonna miss home. oh and rin! i heard he got into a soccer program recently, isn’t that nice! he’s following your footsteps in becoming the best striker in the world. i know, i know, you aren’t a striker anymore but it’s still nice to know that you’re still into soccer at least. by the way, when will you come back home? i kind of miss you, you know. i never got to see you off and when you did come back i was out of town and really busy. what about we plan a meetup or something in the near future? you know, make up for the times we lost? oh, i have to go now! my parents are helping me move in to my dorm. catch you later sae!”

sae didn’t really like coming home. the house he grew up in for the first 14 years of his life felt too foreign to be called home anymore. his parents felt like distant strangers that he just met a couple weeks ago – they felt more like acquaintances than his mother and father. the photos framed around his home felt like ancient relics from thousands of years ago, he didn’t recognize them. sae didn’t recognize himself. 

maybe he spent too much time in spain to the point where it felt more like home. how ironic, he began to realize. he had flown back to japan to escape from his hell that was spain but here he was, in his home, in the bedroom he used to sleep in for endless nights, wanting to go back to the place that left his heart hollow.

“there’s nothing else i could do.” he tried to convince himself as he sat down on his childhood bed, the bouquet of flowers at his side. he could only sigh and let himself fall back into the bed of his long gone home. “everything passes.”

“hey hey hey it’s me again! how have you been sae? i’d like to think that i’ve adjusted pretty well in college. made a few new friends and met some old ones. honestly, i almost didn’t recognize them! i mean, do you remember makoto from middle school. he was a such a problem child back then and now look at him! he’s a scholar now! i guess everyone just starts to become more mature after hitting 18, who knows. thank you again, for the gift. i was definitely shocked when my roommate told me i had a package from you. i can’t believe you still remember that i wanted ‘no longer human’! thank you, i’ll be sure to treasure it. well, that’s all for today. call you some other time sae!”

everything passes.

-

— drunk recordings; the words i wish i could’ve told you sooner

“how do you work this again? ah got it! hehe, hi again sae! i’m at a party right now, man maybe you were right, i do have shit alcohol tolerance. but it’s fine. don’t worry, i’m already on my way home and the driver isn’t some creepy dude that might kill me.

……

you know, i like you very much but i don’t think you’ll believe me. i know i jokingly said that we should marry each other if we aren’t dating someone if we hit our 30s, but i kinda wanna marry you even if we aren’t 30 yet. is that weird? i really miss you. please come home.”

……

“hello? god that was so embarrassing… sorry, could you just forget about what i said in the last recording? um just, gosh i don’t even know. denying it won’t really help right haha… it’s in the past now so don’t mull over too much ok? please, just disregard that last recording. i’m really sorry, it was just me being drunk.”

sae did not in fact disregard that recording. in fact, sometimes in the dead of night he’d think about it and wonder, if he had replied to that specific recording would things have ended differently? 

sae didn’t like deep and evoking questions about ‘what if’s’, he finds them annoying most of the time. and yet here he was now entertaining the idea. bouquet in hand as he casually walked around the neighborhood that the both of you had grew up in. the same twists and turns, same houses, same playground, same everything.

yet the silence was too loud, even for him.

everything passes.

-

— graduation recordings

“well, i think it’s safe to say i survived. i graduated sae, are you proud? man i still can’t believe i was a few point from getting the valedictorian spot but oh well. alls well that ends well i suppose. i heard you won your recent match congratulations mr best midfielder! kinda wish i was there to see it, but don’t worry! in your next match i’ll definitely save up enough money and buy those tickets to spain and your match one day! just you wait, i’ll be the screaming my lungs out and support you, i’m still your number one fan after all!”

sae had some feelings of dissatisfaction when you did not in fact get those tickets to spain and his match. maybe it was his wishful thinking but he really did wish you were there. but he knew it was impossible. 

he remembered the feeling of anger and frustration running through his veins, cursing the heavens above because he felt the need to show the gods his emotions. sae hated thinking about you in that moment. he hated how he felt like he was in a new version of hell whenever you just happened to cross his mind. sae hated you very much.

everything passes.

-

— recordings from 2 years ago

“i’m sorry. i know you should’ve heard it from me but i guess my family beat me to it haha. to be perfectly honest with you sae, i had no plans of telling you. i’m sorry. its just, the thought of breaking the news to you. how could i ever do that to you? i’m sorry. god i’m so sorry sae.”

……

“hey. i received the gift you sent me. you didn’t have to , you know. now i kinda feel bad about having you go on break in the middle of soccer season because of me. but still, thank you. i appreciated you being here, with me. it was a refreshing feeling, talking to you again and just hanging out. work has been really stuffy and felt like i was being caged but you came. you suddenly appeared and suddenly everything was alright again. i know we only said goodbye a couple minutes ago but, i miss you already. sorry. this sounds really weird doesn’t it? anyways, thank you again for the gift. i’ll be sure to wear it everyday. that’s all, have a good night sae.”

……

“hey. sorry for calling at such an odd time. i just. i just felt a little lonely. i sound so stupid i’m sorry. good night sae.”

……

“makoto dropped by today. god he was as annoying as ever but he really cheered me up. he managed to confess to this girl he’s pining over since sophomore year. i’m happy for him. but it really got me thinking about us. i know i told you to forget about that one recording because i was drunk but now that i look back on it, i wasn’t really honest. to you and myself. i know this may be the worst timing to confess but yeah, i like you very much. since primary school, as cliche as it may sound i think it all started when you stood up for me from those bullies. now that i think about, i practically glued myself to your side ever since that day didn’t i? i’m glad you didn’t really mind that. i remember always using homework as an excuse to always have you hang out with me even though i completely understood the lesson. man, where did i get the confidence to do that stuff? but i guess those times are lost in the sands of the past i guess. oh right, sorry, i forgot you didn’t really like those type of stuff. getting all deep and whatnot. well that’s all, i’m getting pretty tired already so i’ll head to bed. good night sae.”

everything passes.

-

— present

“hi. thank you by the way. i don’t know, i just don’t think i’ve ever said that you recently. so, thank you. its a bit funny isn’t it? i would almost always talk your ear off every recording but this time, i can’t even find the words to say. my parents came over, talked to them a bit. rin visited as well. he’s gotten a lot taller than i last saw him, he’s probably taller than you now!

……

sae, thank you. for everything. i’m glad we stayed in touch. i’m glad we stayed as friends.  thank you for making my days seem just a tad bit brighter, though sometimes i wonder what it would be like if we were, you know, dating. wonder what the difference would be. i mean we’d still talk to each other right? maybe holding hands and kisses but that’s pretty much it right? but thinking about it is useless right now. maybe in an alternate universe were actually married and adopted a cat like how we used to talk about.”

“you know, before this very moment. i accepted my fate already. i was content, i was doing fine but now. sae, i don’t want to die.”

“please remember me ok? and i’ll be sure to remember you. i’ll see you again, sae.”

“nii-chan..”

sae could only put his phone back in his pocket. his younger brother standing a good distance away from him. he could only imagine how rin looked like right now. was he pitying him, grieving with him? he’ll never know because he will never turn to look at him. not when your right in front of him.

how many times had he played all your recordings for the past 2 years? maybe a little over a 100 times? maybe close to 200 now?

sae removed all those thoughts as he placed the bouquet on the ground, the wind seemed to answer to his call – you seemed to answer to his call. despite all the pain, all the misery, all the bitter waves of grief that flooded his being whenever he played your recordings, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. he didn’t want to forget what you sounded like. your voice reminded him too much of home.

“happy birthday you idiot.” he said to you, keeping his hands in his pockets, watching the leaves of the flowers in the bouquet sway with the wind. two pieces of paper underneath it threatened to be blown away. “you said you wanted to come visit me and watch my match, well now you can.” two pieces of paper, one a plane ticket to spain the other a ticket to his upcoming match two weeks from now. “you better come watch me alright?” he could only bitterly smile. 

“you’re 30 now,” he whispered, before getting on one knee. placing a velvet box in front of your gravestone. “you should’ve waited for me, you idiot.” sae could only mutter those words to no one in particular. it was as if the world had stopped for a moment, the wind had stopped howling, the sun was nowhere to be seen. he could only see you. “i wanted to marry you too, y’know.”

sae could remember every occurrence where he would sit at his balcony in spain every night after your passing. phone to his ear, listening to all your recordings. but you’ll never know how he replies to them, every single one of them with his own. 

“i told the stars about you and what we could’ve had.” he chuckled, “you’re by far the hardest lesson i had to learn.”

standing up from his kneeling position, he gave you one last look before walking away. rin followed suit, but not before placing something at your grave. a pink book that you had loved till the very end. 

sae hated planes, but he flew back to japan every year. sae didn’t really like flowers, but every year he’d get you a pretty bouquet. sae didn’t like coming home but if it meant getting to visit you, he’d come back over and over again. sae didn’t like reading or any deep and evoking questions but he always humored you whenever you asked him.

sae hated all those things but they reminded him too much of you to let them go. 

and just like your favorite author, when osamu dazai asked to die, he simplu agreed; but just before his death, he suddenly felt obsession with life.

everything passes. just like how you’ll eventually get lost in the sands of time.

© vxnuslogy 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works.

[daisynik7]

Pairing: Ino Takuma x f!reader

Rating: Explicit - minors do not interact!

Word Count: ~2.5k

cw: next-door neighbor Ino, friends-to-lovers trope, explicit language, smut - cunnilingus

Summary: Ino is the cute guy next door that you’ve befriended ever since you moved in. He’s been nothing but kind to you, and sure, there’s attraction there, but you’ve never acted on it considering you’re already taken. When you find out your long-distance boyfriend is a good-for-nothing cheater, you turn to your friend for comfort, and maybe something more.

Author's Note: My adoration for this man grows everyday! This one is kind of a tease, but I hope you still enjoy it! MDNI divider credit to @/cafekitsune! Taglist: @slvt-for-smut @man-knees @batafuraikisu @neverlandlostchild @bloompompom @dprkento @a-listaire @antique-remains @aiyaaayei

part 5 of to all the boys who live next door anthology series

It's a cold Friday night in the middle of winter when you find out your boyfriend of two years is cheating on you. 

Kenzo is studying for his master’s degree overseas while you remain in your hometown, patiently waiting for his return. You’ve been long distance for almost a year now and while it’s difficult being apart, it’s mostly been manageable. Or so you thought. 

You’re eating dinner with your next-door neighbor, Ino, when Kenzo finally texts you back. He’s been busy studying in the library for his upcoming exams and you haven’t heard much from him all day. When you see his name in your notifications, you can’t help but get excited, dropping your chopsticks to reply to him.

Kenzo: I’m finally home 

You: Yay! Let’s talk soon

Ino prepared hot pot this evening, offering to treat you for the dinner you cooked the other night. The two of you have grown close over these past several months, enough to call each other friends. You’ve never hidden your friendship from Kenzo, who isn’t typically the jealous type. So when you tell him that you’re finishing up with your meal with Ino, you’re surprised when he sends you a rather blunt reply.

Kenzo: Can you hurry up? I have somewhere to be and can’t talk long

Your heart sinks. He never mentioned having any plans later, so you have no idea where he’s going. Ino continues to slurp on his soup innocently across from you. 

You swallow hard, this sense of dread building in your stomach, making you lose your appetite. “Sorry, Ino. I have to go.”

He wipes his mouth with a napkin, looking at you, concerned. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” you answer, avoiding his gaze. “I just have to talk to Kenzo right now before he leaves. I guess he’s going out tonight.” You stand up, guilty about your boyfriend and about abandoning your friend. “Thank you for dinner. I’ll be back later to help you clean up.”

He waves it off, giving you a reassuring grin. “Don’t worry about it. Go do your thing with Kenzo. I’ve got all this taken care of.” 

You smile back at him, thankful to have a neighbor so understanding and so sweet. 

Back in your apartment, you rush into your bedroom, inspecting the mirror quickly to check your appearance before turning on your laptop for the video call. It takes him three rings to pick up. When he does, he greets you with a surly expression. “Hey.”

You smile hesitantly, nervous that he’s upset at you for whatever reason. “Hey. Is everything okay?”

He sighs heavily, running his fingers through his hair. In the two years you’ve been dating him, you recognize this habit of his when he’s bothered by something. “Long day.” 

“You want to talk about it?”

He contemplates, then shakes his head, deciding to change the subject all together. “Did you enjoy dinner?” 

It’s doesn’t seem like a genuine ask. Still, you relax a bit, hoping his bad attitude is from exhaustion and nothing to do with you. “Yeah. Ino made hot pot tonight. I wasn’t able to finish it, but everything I ate so far was really good.”

This seems to strike a nerve in him. There’s that distinguishable twitch in his right eye, another indicator that he’s irritated. “Well, I’m sorry for taking you away from him,” he sneers. “Maybe you should go back to your other boyfriend now to finish your fucking dinner.”

In the one year you’ve been long distance, he’s never snapped at you like this, so you’re startled by his current demeanor. “What?”

He rolls his eyes at you. “It’s obvious you want to fuck him.”

Flabbergasted by this accusation, you repeat, “What?! Kenzo!”

“Why do you spend so much time with him, huh? You really expect me to believe you’re just friends?” His tone is so condescending, your skin prickles, grossed out by his behavior

“Where is this coming from? You never had a problem with Ino before.” You’re completely baffled. Never has he mentioned that he’s suspicious of your neighbor. He’s never had a reason to be. Why now?

He continues to huff into the mic, clearly frazzled by the entire situation. “I think this whole thing is just fucked up. So fucked up.” There’s the sound of vibrating on his desk, most likely his phone. You can see his eyes glancing to the side, reading whatever notification he received.

Bringing his attention back to the matter at hand, you calmly explain, “Kenzo. I promise you, there is nothinggoing on between me and Ino. He’s just a friend. Please believe me.”

Still distracted, he mutters, “I have to go.”

You’re getting desperate now. “Kenzo, wait. We should talk about this – ”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore, okay?” he snaps, glaring at you. “I’ve had a rough day and I need to relax.”

“Kenzo, please,” you beg him.

He considers it for a moment. Then, in the background, you can hear knocking, bringing him back from his thoughts. “I have to go.”

Defeated, you nod, not pushing it any further. Without a proper goodbye, he clicks on his keyboard and rushes off to answer whoever’s at his front door, thinking he properly left the call. However, he’s still logged on, and you can see everything. And soon, you’ll hear everything.

You don’t get the chance to end the call yourself. It all happens so quickly. The thud of the door closing, the unfamiliar voice of a woman, their footsteps and conversation growing louder as they enter the bedroom. You’re tuned in on the laptop, watching them with wide eyes, frozen. Like watching a trainwreck happening in front of you. Actually, it’s more like you’re the one getting trampled. 

His back faces the camera, arms wrapped around another girl, his lips smacking noisily from their careless kisses. You sit there, mouth agape at what you’re currently witnessing, holding your breath.

“I can’t wait to fuck this pussy,” he groans, unbuckling his pants. You resist the urge to dry heave at how disgusting he sounds.  

“Yeah?” she giggles. “It’s only been two days and you miss it already?”

“Fuck yeah,” he responds, sucking on her neck, groping her chest. 

Before they can strip any more of their clothes off, you yell out his name, startling the both of them. “Kenzo! What the fuck?!” You don’t realize until now that tears are streaming down your cheeks, your throat dry and tight, struggling to get the words out. 

He whips around towards the laptop, horror surrounding his face as he realizes, gawking at you through the screen, stammering his words. “What are you doing?!”

“What are you doing, asshole?!” 

“Ken, who is that?” she asks, genuinely confused, stepping closer to you to get a better look. 

“I’m his girlfriend,” you answer, trembling with anger. “Actually, I am now his ex-girlfriend.”

“You have a girlfriend?!” she shrieks, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Had a girlfriend,” you correct her. “He’s all yours if you want him.”

He puts his face right up to the screen, his appearance making your skin crawl. “This is a big misunderstanding.”

“I heard what you said. I fucking saw what you did! How long?”

“This is the first time – ”

“A month,” the other woman answers, staring down at the floor, guilty. “We’ve been hooking up for a month. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.”

Kenzo turns to her, then back to you, sputtering nonsense. Apologies, excuses, just complete and utter bullshit. His bizarre behavior from earlier starts to make sense now. He was projecting whatever guilt he was suffering onto you. But while your conscience remains clean, his is sullied. Defiled, dirty, and ruined by his own volitions. 

Having heard and seen enough, you hang up, slamming your laptop shut, sobbing into the palms of your hands. 

~~~

Half an hour later, you leave your apartment, dragging your feet towards next door. Your eyes are puffy, cheeks sticky from unwiped tears, overwhelmed with emotion. Anger, heartbreak, and betrayal all at once. Kenzo’s been trying to reach you since you hung up on him, but you’ve ignored him each time, tempted to block him and be done with it once and for all However, you can’t bring yourself to do it yet. Maybe there’s just a small part of you that wants to spite him; you just don’t know how.

When Ino answers, you immediately launch into him, burying your face in his shoulder, crying. It can’t be helped. You need a friend. He doesn’t need to process it; being sweet is second-nature to him. He wraps his arms around you, massaging your back gently, squeezing you snug in his embrace. “What happened?”

Between sobs, you manage to reply, “Kenzo cheated on me.”

He tenses up, outraged. “What?”

You nod, wiping your face on the cotton of his sweatshirt, making a note in your mind to apologize for this later. 

“I’m so sorry,” he says, hands still gentle along your spine. His touch is comforting, exactly what you need to dull the pain. He lets you indulge in his warmth for a moment, not speaking, listening to your ragged breathing steady. 

Once the tears stop and you’re composed enough, you remove yourself from him, wiping your wet cheeks with your sleeve. “I’m sorry,” you sniffle.

He laughs softly. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I feel bad for bothering you.”

“You’re not.” He holds his hand out. “Do you want to talk about it inside?”

You nod, taking his hand, following him into his apartment, where he leads you to the couch. He passes you a tissue box, though you’re sure you’ve run out of tears by now. You’re alone sulking for a few minutes while he brews you a hot mug of tea, setting it on the coffee table when he returns. “Thank you,” you say, smiling at him. His presence alone has been comforting enough, but you hold the porcelain cup in your hands, basking in its soothing heat. 

“Of course,” he grins, sitting next to you.

You rest your head on his shoulder. “You’re a great friend, Ino.”

He slides his fingers between yours, lacing them together. “You are too.”

This kind of intimacy feels natural with him, which is what surprises you. His hand fits so easily with yours, you begin to wonder why you haven’t held it before, why you haven’t been doing this from the start. Ino’s always treated you kindly, more than a neighbor should, better than your good-for-nothing ex-boyfriend ever did, and without asking for anything in return except your company. 

Your heart thumps loudly against your chest, you’re sure that even he can hear it. You turn your head to look at him, so close that your noses are nearly touching. Swallowing thickly, you try to say something, anything, but you can’t, unable to articulate what you’re feeling in this moment. 

He shrugs his beanie off, nuzzling his nose to yours. “Since we’re friends, let me take care of you. I’ll make you feel good. Make you forget about that asshole.”

It takes you a while to reply to him, but you do. “Okay, Ino,” you whisper, closing the small distance between you, staring at his mouth. “I trust you.” 

He kisses you, gentle and almost too sweet, you want to savor it. When his tongue grazes your lip, you moan into his mouth, letting your inhibitions loose. You’re no longer thinking about the events from earlier this night. Instead, all you focus on is Ino and how good he feels against you. He increases the pace, kisses growing sloppier, your hands running through his hair while his roam your back. He trails along your neck, then down to your stomach, lower and lower until his hands are on your knees, gradually spreading your legs apart. “Can I?”

He doesn’t have to spell it out. You know exactly what he’s offering. And who are you to deny his generosity? After all, what are friends for? 

“Please,” you beg him, brushing the hair away from his forehead, making sure he gets a good look at your pleading eyes. You need him to make you forget about everything. 

He makes quick work of your clothes, stripping your bottoms and underwear off in one fell swoop, positioning himself between your thighs. “Call me Takuma,” he tells you, smooching your plush skin. 

You let out a pathetic whimper as he flattens his tongue on your clit, stroking it slowly. He goes faster and messier the more his name pours out of your mouth in pleasured moans. It doesn’t take long for you to reach your first climax, grip tight in his hair, knees trembling from the stimulation. He doesn’t let up, though. Ino continues to eat you out until you’re pliant on the couch, yielding to every lick, suck, and stroke he delivers you. Your pussy throbs for him, wet and slick from your orgasms, ready to be filled with his cock.

Suddenly, your phone rings and you’re brought back to a grim reality, one where Kenzo still exists. His name flashes on the screen, requesting to video chat you for the umpteenth time tonight, trying to apologize for a sin that can’t be forgiven. You reach for the coffee table to silence your phone, wanting to ignore him. “Fuck, he’s calling me again. Sorry.”

“Answer it,” Ino says, still lapping at your puffy clit.

You laugh, looking down at him, certain that you heard him wrong. “What?”

He gazes up at you, lips all wet and swollen from devouring you. Drool leaks from the sides of his mouth, his chin shiny with spit and slick. His cheeks are rosy, eyes laden with lust. He smiles at you, endearing and sweet, with just the hint of wicked intent behind it. “Show him how good I treat you.”

Something stirs inside you. This is an opportunity to get your revenge. And sure, it’s petty and vindictive, but you’re a woman scorned by the man you loved, the man you thought loved you. Why shouldn’t you be?

Before you can chicken out, you point the camera towards Ino, who smirks, diving right back into your cunt, being extra loud this time. You answer the phone, Kenzo’s face maximizing on the screen, calling out your name, relieved you picked up. When he realizes what he’s watching, hearing you moan Ino’s name like you used to moan his, Kenzo’s expression contorts into one of rage, disgust. He starts cursing like a madman, shouting at Ino, at you. You drown it out with your own profanities. “Fuck, Takuma, right there! Right there! Oh fuck!”

Kenzo hangs up the call after he gets one more cruel remark in, but you don’t care. You’ve gotten your payback. Maybe it’s not enough, maybe it is. For now, all you want is to be with Ino, no more distractions. “Fuck me,” you whine, tugging on his brunette strands.

He crawls over you, kissing you passionately with wet lips. “Whatever you want, sweetheart. Whatever you want.”

It’s safe to say that you and Ino become much better friends after tonight. 

[boyfhee]

FAIR AND SQUARE › lhs

SYNOPSIS › one thing about life— it's unpredictable. for example, you made a note to yourself about not associating too much with heeseung for your own peace of mind, letting him stay as the academic rival slash classmate that he is, instead of allowing him to be something more, except one thing leads to another and you find yourself face to face with the said man with your feelings all over the place. a lowkey confession leading to a mere competition, let the game begin.

WORD COUNT › 20.2k

GENRE › academic rivals / friends to lovers, mutual pinning because they're just competitive and oblivious ft in denial, fem reader, quite the 'he fell first but she fell harder' thing eye guess . . .

WARNINGS › mentions drinking, sheds light on family issues ( mostly on the reader's side ) bruise and injury, slightest of angst, arguments, suggestive ( fourth section, towards the end ) profanities, let me know if you spot more

PLAYLIST › tune in for a better experience

NOTE › i love this fic with all my heart and lungs, even more. anyway, i'm sorry to academic rivals fans, this doesn't have academic blood and gore, as quoted by my dear mai. SPEAKING OF MAI EVERYONE THANK @maiverie FOR BETAREADING THIS FIC!!!!!! im not lying when i say i wouldn't have finished writing this yesterday if it wasn't for her, like thank u for ur super helpful review that got my brain juices flowing :< luv u fr. ALSO both heeseung and reader are taking post grad course so of course, they're aged up ( no ages specified ) have fun reading.

I. BANE OF EXISTENCE

one thing about life— it’s unpredictable. 

for example, you’re in the library writing and reading papers on the topic you love, the one that you’re supposed to enjoy and the one that will become the reason behind your earnings in the near future, but here you are, sitting with a headache and a cup of coffee on the side. who knew the subject you've liked since grade one will betray you and become the potential bane of your existence? not you, surely enough. wednesday noons are for basketball matches, which explains why the library and hallways are quieter and emptier than usual. even the teachers make time for the tournaments off their busy schedules, it’s understandable— your university is known for having one of the best sports teams in the league, and the basketball team being the defending champions does nothing but fuel the pride of students and staffs as if they’re the ones on the court, trying to get the ball in the basket.

you wouldn’t say you don’t like being a part of the crowd because you’ve been to the badminton tournaments and know that watching matches is as interesting as playing, if not more. you just don’t have the time to attend any. with assignments piling up and exams ‘round the corner, you’d rather spend your last two months of the semester studying instead of yelling at the bleachers. you can always get the recordings if you ever feel like watching one, as for the results, the word goes around faster in your department than anywhere else, all because of one of the students being on the team. 

you try focusing, you really do, but your cup is just as empty as your brain and your phone is going up with notifications. you don’t see the point of miyeon spamming the gc with updates on the match when everyone in the group, except you, is with her, watching and cheering alongside. muting is a choice which you choose not to do, and the reason is between you and god, to be honest. long story short, it’s the lack of motivation clogging your thought process and the realisation that your friends are out there enjoying themselves unlike you is blocking any means of logical thinking. a day or two spent not studying wouldn’t make you fail the classes, and even if the guilt is pooling inside, you pack your stuff and walk out of the library, making your way to the indoor basketball court. 

the screams grow louder as you approach, each step reminding you that you still can go back as you choose to ignore it. exams can wait, you tell yourself, a day to myself can’t. your mother would tell you to take breaks and go out instead of studying all day, but being on top is an addiction. it’s no good, you wish other students would believe you, it’s a struggle, on the top, at the bottom, everywhere. you expect to turn a few heads as soon as you walk inside, which doesn’t happen, but you expected it. you don’t watch matches, this could easily be your third or fourth one, and the first basketball match, to be more specific. once you realise that everyone is busy watching the plays instead of noticing who comes and goes from the court, you make your way up to the one friend you manage to spot amidst the crowd— sung hanbin. indoor bleachers feel more compact than the outdoor ones. you've been to the football match last semester, courtesy of miyeon, and everything being outdoors really helps with the crowd and noise. 

“didn’t expect to see you here,” hanbin stands next to you, offering you a sip or two from his drink, which you politely refuse, eyes fixed on the court as if it was the home they’ve been searching for. “i thought you hate heeseung,” it isn’t until he takes his name that your gaze averts to heeseung. you don’t even know why hanbin would outright assume you’re here for heeseung. in fact, that man’s name didn’t even cross your mind until he was mentioned.

“hate is a big word, ‘bin,” your words are more of a whisper laced with hesitation, as if you aren’t sure of what you’re saying. hate, actually, is a very big and heavy word. despite its constant usage with your friends, you realise the weight it holds and the impact it has. hate and dislike— they’re different and yet similar enough to be used synonymously at times. not by you, of course, you have a clear distinction between the two, and as of now, you don’t know if what you feel for heeseung is a mere dislike or pure hatred. “i just don’t like him,” 

when he successfully shoots a three-pointer, you come to the decision that you definitely don’t hate him. heeseung is, more or less, the typical all-rounder straight-A student, the jack of all trades and fortunately enough, the master of all as well. he's the student teachers use as an example, the son parents wish for, the boyfriend people wished they had. lee heeseung is many things, and one of those is being the reason why you have the second highest score in your department instead of the first position, unlike how it used to be two semesters ago. 

heeseung transferred departments about thirty weeks ago, from chemistry to bioinformatics. it had been surprising on your side because not many opted for bioinformatics until they were certain of their goal. the course in itself is vast, like an ocean of several different fields and each and every one of them opens a door to a different outcome. bioinformatics isn’t something students picked overnight just because it had the vacancy and they didn’t like their initially chosen courses. as fun as the subject sounds, it demands consistency and time, something that heeseung lacks. you had seen him attend classes the first few weeks regularly, and then the ghost of him started sitting on the empty seat that belongs to him. skipping classes, arriving late, delayed submission of a couple of projects— you knew he wasn’t here to stay. it was to pass time, or whatever, you couldn’t care, didn’t care, not until he started acing the tests, practically dethroning you from your infamous ‘perfect all kill’ title that you had for getting nothing less than a perfect score, most of the time, give and take a few here and there. 

you still get good scores, amazing even, full score in theory and the same in practicals. it’s going well in lab manuals and project works but heeseung seems to get a perfect score in those too, something you started missing ever since he came into the picture. perhaps, it was something in the way he phrased his essays— you hoped it was. rumour has it that heeseung used to be a literature student, which could explain his outstanding english skills and his eloquent way of speaking. you even looked up his debate videos on youtube only to find more evidence on how skilled he is in public speaking. 

but above all, heeseung is, actually, just a really damn annoying student, quite literally the bane of your existence. he’s always set on stealing people’s spotlight during lessons, with you being the people, obviously, always answering questions with information that’s unrelated and probably even unnecessary. and for the shortest time, you even considered taking him off your ‘things i hate’ list because you were no different in highschool. when you’re the top student, it becomes a habit to talk about things as if you know them in your bones and impress teachers. hell, you even had rivals in highschool, although none of them got on your nerves the way heeseung does. basically, he has no reason to call you by weird names everytime you both pass each other in the hallways, or remind you that he’s the top student. ‘this is the vice-captain of the basketball team and the best student of the biotechnology department, lee heeseung, informing you on the up—’ seriously, no one wants to hear him introduce himself like that when you’re around. you’re pretty sure it’s engraved inside your brain with the amount of times he repeats it everyday. minjeong even says that heeseung is becoming more and more like sunghoon, and you would not know how or why because you didn��t attend highschool with sunghoon, unlike her. 

the court flares up with cheers when heeseung goes for a dunk which ultimately leads to their team winning the match, and you reach the conclusion that maybe you don’t hate heeseung but actually want to bang his head against the walls. your eyes follow him around the court, analysing his conduct during the match, the way he communicates so effortlessly with teammates using hand signs or quick phrases, the way he holds the team together when the ball is with him, despite not being the captain. heeseung might be the most unbearable person you’ve met so far, he’s actually just fine when his target is not you. you’re sure any other player is doing just as good but nothing comes close to how you see heeseung. it’s different, the light he is in, it’s unique, incredible, and inexplicably addictive. heeseung juggles between classes and basketball, you remember sunghoon talking about his part-time job when you passed by their lockers the other day. he doesn’t have it easy, you don’t either, but you had those all perfect kills by spending hours in your study while heeseung does better than you while winning matches, making money. 

it doesn’t take you long to realise that what you have for him could be dislike with a hint of jealousy, and you wonder if all the people would react the same way once they know who heeseung really is— a devil behind an angelic face, one who deliberately likes ruining things for you, as if his life depends on it. you still remember the day he personally texted you the wrong syllabus for a test, claiming that it had been updated and the professor had asked him to notify everyone. ‘and as you know, i have not been added in the group chat yet so i’m texting everyone personally,’ he had lied ever so smoothly as if his words consist of nothing but truth, as if lies are something he hasn’t even heard of. kudos to you for studying the original and correct syllabi beforehand, you still aced the test, if heeseung scoring the first rank is overlooked. 

you’re dragged back from your thoughts to the reality when a boy bumps into you while hurrying down to the players, hoping to get noticed. half of the students act like the team is actually a boy-band, you can see them on the front page of every single edition of university magazine. usually, you prefer waiting for the crowd to disperse before taking your leave from wherever you are, but a sudden reminder about the tests over text from your professor gives you a reason to leave early, all to make sure you could catch up to heeseung. you rush your way out of the bleachers once the teams start leaving the court, eyes fixed on heeseung to take a note of the direction he leaves. hanbin gives you a confused look before the words find their way out of his mouth. “where are you going?” 

“basketball shower room,” and your words could give him, and the other people who might’ve heard you, a wrong idea but you couldn’t care less. the goal was to see heeseung before he leaves the campus, which was highly likely because no one has it in them to attend four hours of classes after an exhausting match, not even heeseung, no matter how amazing he is. 

you make your way through the ocean of people, bumping into a few in the process as you make your way to the club room. a silent profanity leaves your mouth once you realise that the club room entrance might be filled with fangirls and boys, left and right, and the thought of shuffling your way out of the crowd to meet heeseung makes you reconsider your actions. heeseung might be a star student but isn’t amazing enough for you to step out of your comfort zone and do things to see him. 

“well, this is surprising,” your voice manages to turn his head towards the door. “thought you’d be busy with your fangirls, lee,” and it is surprising indeed because the hallways are unexpectedly empty with only a few people around. you would say they learnt to give the players their space after a game but that would be a lie considering the embarrassing history of students when it comes to people on the sports team. 

“they’re probably busy with jake,” heeseung responds with a smile, and even though he turns to his locker just as quickly, you could see the smile dancing on the corner of his lips. 

jake is rather a new player, a junior to be specific, and jay personally spent days waiting outside the physics department to get the guy on the basketball team. explains why he’s popular amidst students, he’s talented, good at studies— seriously, you wouldn’t understand how these people manage academics with sports. you couldn’t, and even if you managed to, you would end up passing out every few days. “does it suck to lose your fan-following to a newbie?” 

“not really. i still have you here,” heeseung wouldn’t call it ‘losing’ his fan-following because he’s using jake as bait to escape the crowd of students as quickly as possible. a junior has to make sacrifices, in this case it’s to save heeseung by sacrificing himself to the public. although, saying that he still has you looking for him even though a hundred others aren’t makes him feel better about himself. “no but seriously, what did you come here for?” 

“oh, it’s for the test on friday,” you pull out your phone, opening the group chat with the professor and the students who took the same course. it’s laughable how the universe put you in the exact same situation twice, although with the tables turned this time, and it takes everything in you to not tell him a made-up, wrong syllabi, and do what is rational. “the syllabi was extended up to chapter fourteen, till page three-ninety-seven. they sent it in the group chat this morning but i’m sure you hardly have time even to think about something else except basketball,” 

you’ve known heeseung for two semesters but that’s for the people to say. the truth is, you don’t know him outside what he shows to everyone else. you see him come and go, spot him around the bar with his friends on weekends you pass by it. you know he skips classes and asks students for notes. it’s not necessarily from you, though you’d prefer if he would ask you since you’re the best student in the whole department, after him, as much as you hate to admit it. on some days, you see him in the library, earphones plugged in. if you manage to sneak a glance or two, you’d catch him watching the match recordings and taking notes, you wouldn’t know what notes someone could take from matches. in short, you don’t know heeseung more than how everyone knows him. coming to the shower rooms and notifying him about the test might just be a discreet attempt at striking up more conversations with him, but also, you’re just fine with him being the academic rival slash classmate that he is. 

“yeah, semi-finals,” heeseung shuts his locker close, a sigh falling off his lips just like the water drops falling on his shoulder from the tips of his hair, after a shower. “doesn’t help that they’re at the same time as the quarterly assessments. thank you for telling me even though it means you’ll end up losing the first position to me once again,” and of course, the heeseung you know wouldn’t waste an opportunity to strike up a competition. it would be a lie if you claim to hate it because despite the sour look on your face, a part of you loves these little academic races with him. heeseung makes you strive to do better, he’s like the driving force you lacked which made college a whole lot better. after all, where’s the fun in getting a perfect score with the bare minimum effort, without some challenges knocking at your door? 

“what can i do, i’m all about fair play,” there’s a subtle shade behind your words, reckoning to the multiple incidents of him ruining things for you. this could take a really nasty turn if you were to resort to his ways, except you won’t because you’re better than him. “good luck, and we’ll see who loses the first position to whom,” 

heeseung wipes his hair before switching to texting on his phone, the smile still adorning his face like a jewel. you assume it’s the delight from winning a match, it’s obvious. his eyes couldn’t help but sparkle at every little achievement, always looking forward to something more, something challenging, that’s lee heeseung for you— someone who knows he has an easier way around things but would deliberately walk down another path and test his limits. shocking how it took you one basketball match to see the passion he has for things he’s interested in, that he’s more than a sport jock or a straight nerd, he’s more than someone who takes courses to pass time, more than someone who is just a show-off.

“heeseung,” the dislike, the hatred, the envy, it might all be a lie. “well played today,” because in the end, there’s a minimal possibility that you’re leaving the room with nothing but the slightest of admiration for the guy who is nothing but an obstacle between you and that first position in upcoming finals in two months. 

and it would be a lie too to claim that your words didn’t catch heeseung by surprise.

II. RIVALRY, FEELINGS, ETCETERA. 

it has been a little over one day since heeseung’s conversation with you outside the shower rooms, twenty-seven hours to be exact. twenty-seven hours of him hearing the same last words over and over again, twenty-seven hours of him failing all and any attempts at straight thinking and twenty-seven hours of him not thinking about anything except you. all of it ends up in three hours of practice and not one good shot from heeseung. the sighs and snickers from teammates fill the court every few seconds— truthfully, they never leave. heeseung is simply too lost to pay attention to them. 

“heeseung, you good?” a pat on shoulder from jake and the words following soon after manage to pull him out of his spiral of thought, even if it’s for a brief second. 

“he’s not, won’t be anytime soon,” sunghoon replies as if the answer was on the tip of his tongue, waiting to be revealed. “yn came to watch the last match, after all,” there’s a smirk on sunghoon’s face, heeseung can tell it in the intonation of his words. 

jay pauses just seconds before going for a layup, joining the conversation. “wait, she did?” 

“yep, saw her standing next to that hanbin guy or something,” 

“mate, you cannot be acting like this over a girl and that too, four days before finals,” this conversation, as a whole, is beyond jake’s comprehension. a part of the reason could be because he joined the team late, thus missing out on a huge chunk of internal jokes and gossip and goes amidst the players. and no amount of reasons can convince him into thinking that it’s fine to act out-of-character before important matches just because your crush showed up at one of your matches. 

“she’s not just some random girl. she never attends matches, but she came to watch my match,” heeseung clarifies as if the reasons behind his antics are valid and acceptable. “you wouldn’t know how i feel right now,” 

“you’re on cloud nine, we know, your crush gave you the attention you’ve been lacking but trust me, she would ignore you just as efficiently if she sees you perform like this,” 

“she’s not a crush,” and despite it being a well known fact amongst the basketball team that heeseung has a thing or two for you, he always refuses to accept it. one can say it’s the pride thing. you barely even talk to him unless it’s about studies, and your conversations are mostly along the lines of who outdoes whom in tests and assessments. moreover, everyone knows heeseung is the reason why you’re the second best student in the department— as much as you hate to admit it, again— because he transferred and flipped your world, probably even dribbled around with it like a basketball. a word goes around every few days about you glaring at him in class, which is not true, you’re instead focusing your eyes on something in an attempt to think. he just happens to sit right in front of you and be the object of focus. heeseung might as well believe that you hate him, even though yesterday’s conversation was far from how people talk when they hate each other, and his assumptions could account for the constant words of denial that fall off his lips. 

jay snickers before landing a hook successfully. “yeah, and i’m a pigeon,” 

“oh, shut it, jay,” heeseung turns to look at the other boy. “she’s just someone i admire. have you read her essays? her papers? god, we’re a year away from graduation but she’s already writing mind-blowing papers, one of them was even published in the monthly issue of some magazine. she’s already on her best performance and still tries to do better, always down to guide juniors with lab work and also is on the research team for the paediatrics department at asan medical centre. all this, and she studies all day. if i were her, i’d pass out. i can’t go a day without entering the court,” 

“and he says he doesn’t have a crush oh her,” sunghoon rolls his eyes, it’s like if he heard another line of excuses from heeseung, he could see the back of his skull and have a look at hs big, fat brain. 

“because i don’t? you guys never had someone you admired so much that they practically became your role model despite being in the same year?” unlike other things that heeseung does, calling you his role model has a reason. first, it can give him a reason to talk to you. heeseung is almost convinced that you hate him, and if this persists, it would get harder and harder for him to approach you, but with the lie— half lie— of you being his role model and so wonderful that he couldn’t help but admire you from afar while trying to overcome his social anxiety gives him a reason to talk to you. plus, it sounds plausible, he doesn’t understand why his brother says it’s bound to fail. 

the second reason and more to do with his friend group. no one in his friend circle is capable of keeping a secret— jay ends up spilling tea unconsciously, jake tells one person who he trust and that person turns out to be the most untrustworthy person ever, beomgyu, well he’s on the team but telling him would be like standing on a stage and announcing to the whole campus, and sunghoon, he’s the mother, he cannot digest food without disclosing secrets. even if it’s common knowledge that heeseung has a tiny crush on you, denying it in front of the whole campus everytime one of them brings it up helps him with his reputation and fortunately, ends up keeping it a secret. besides, he’d rather have people tease him for calling you his role model than having a crush on you. 

“i surely don’t have someone i admire to the point i read all their papers and know each and everything they’ve volunteered for,” jay argues back, set on proving his point. “tell me what am i gonna do knowing that she’s on the paediatrics research team?” 

“i think this is the most i’ve known about yn ever since classes started and that too, because of heeseung,” beomgyu chuckles, earning a side eye from heeseung in the process. 

“enough, let’s get back to practice,” heeseung intervenes in an attempt to change the topic. he does not want his closest friends making fun of him for liking someone— it’s supposed to be human nature to have a crush. 

“you get back to practice because you’re the only one fucking up because of your silly little crush. i’m done, jay, call me when we’re having a practice match because i need to attend theology or my professor would write me up,” taehyun passes the ball to sunghoon, the latter yelping in surprise at the sudden yet successful catch. 

“i don’t have a crush—”

“of course, let’s get you back to practice,” jake cuts heeseung off mid sentence, moving back to take his position as sunghoon passes the ball to heeseung, who, as expected, misses the catch due to lack of concentration.

it’s going to be a long day for the team. 

. 

. 

.

“a little birdie told me you went to see heeseung in the shower rooms?” are the words you hear as soon as your classes are dismissed, miyeon walking up to you and hanbin discussing the set of questions your professor distributed just a few minutes ago. 

“i didn’t go into the shower rooms, i was outside, near the lockers,” and there’s a difference. to be in the shower room implies you were there in the shower, which definitely gives rise to several wrong ideas of different levels. specifically, you didn’t even enter the locker room. you were outside, leaning against the door, watching heeseung as he walked freshly out of the shower, a towel around his neck, you both strike up a small talk. yeah, that was the scene, not with you in the shower and whatever miyeon’s imagination leads to after that. 

“so you did go!” she claps her hands together as if it’s a celebratory occasion, turning her head to look at the boy next to you. “what were you saying about yn not having a crush, habin?”

“it’s not a crush, miyeon,” and it’s true— heeseung is not a crush. he’s a classmate, a rival, an over-qualified and impossibly competitive student, someone you would want to take your time to study. “what, i can’t even go to tell a classmate about the updated syllabus for a test now? i would’ve done that for anyone, not just heeseung,” 

hanbin sighs, packing his bag. “sure, but he’s in the groupchat. he could’ve checked it himself,” 

“um, i doubt that,” you’re preparing a powerpoint in your head, multiple slides on why you needed to do what you did. “he’s busy with basketball and i know how he gets when the matches are around the corner. don’t you remember how he skipped two weeks of classes straight because of matches last semester? and it’s the finals this time, i don’t think he even opens texts about anything that’s not basketball. i mean, he responded to my messages six days later because he was busy with practice,” 

you say it like you’ve known heeseung for a decade and have been through the ups and downs with him. you wouldn’t care about who does what in the classes, if it’s a paper plane flying right over you, landing just second to the first row of seats or if it’s someone being brave enough and playing music during lectures. biology, in your opinion, is a subject for those who are serious about doing something unique while staying in the academic field. you don’t encounter troublemakers often, once a blue moon if the heavens make a mistake. on other days, it’s quieter than a library, emptier than cemeteries at night. 

to think your life as a biotechnology major got interesting after heeseung switched majors is astonishing and equally debatable. 

“i don’t see why i should remember all that about ‘just a classmate’ but thanks for telling,” and before you know it, hanbin and miyeon are out of the class, on their way to wherever their next stop is. seriously, they’re having it easier than you. they go to games, movies, drink on weekends— something you haven’t had a taste on ever since the year started. somewhere, you could be blamed for your hectic schedules. studies, lab work, and thesis, they suffice for all the stress a student in post graduation studies can handle. volunteering and writing papers is on you, things wouldn’t have been arduous if you had decided to move slowly, one step at a time. sometimes, the hunger for more leaves you starving— quite literally. 

you spend an hour or so in the classroom along with a few other students, going through the same old routine of yours— watch videos, take notes, transfer them to your document in your own words and make it sound as innovative and convincing as possible. heeseung would be better at this than you. you’re exhausted to the point that accepting your defeat to him doesn’t even faze you anymore. he used to be a literature student, had english as a side course as an undergrad, he’s bound to be better than making essays sound they came right out of shakespeare's drafts, phrases and metaphors that would put fitzgerald to shame. 

you didn’t care about what went down in your classes until heeseung came along. call it craziness or the weird impression you have of students in your field, heeseung is far from the typical biotechnology student aiming for a postgraduate degree. he skips classes, plays basketball as if studies are a side business, and yet still manages to ace every test like an all-rounder. he shouldn’t even be in classroom, he should be in the labs, being the most important subject of studies. there are days you think of him as a social experiment— how quickly can a robot piss off a straight-A student with its impeccable skills— of course, the subjects wouldn’t know it’s a robot but you do, you’re almost convinced he is one. there’s no way he’s the top student with the amount of effort he puts in. one would claim that he studies after classes, at home slash dorms, but you can bet your life he doesn’t. there have been numerous instances when you’ve spotted him in the background of someone’s picture at a bar. he’s always with people, he has a humongous friend group, god knows how someone can live like that. at first, you were convinced he isn’t real, as worrisome as it sounds, and if he is real then he needs to be studied. 

which leads to what you’re doing right now— making your way to the basketball court. you don’t know how or why you’re doing it. you started with your studies, ended up thinking about heeseung, and now you’re on your way to the basketball court. although, it’s not half a bad idea, now that you think about it once again. 

your mind goes all the way back to when you watched him play for the first time, which was just a day ago actually. you don’t know anything about basketball, you don’t know much about heeseung either, but there’s one thing you’re sure of— heeseung is class and heeseung on the court, they’re different. you’ve noticed the way he clicks his pen relentlessly out of nervousness when he can’t solve a question, the way his back tenses up for a fraction of a second as soon as he’s asked to explain something. you’ve seen the hints of fear in his eyes when he asked you for notes last semester just three days before exams, scared that he would fail. heeseung isn’t sure of a lot of things and basketball isn’t one of those. 

“you’re not practising?” you ask him when you swim out of your thoughts, watching him climb up the bleachers and sit next to you. the court seems much better when it’s empty, free from the loud cheers of spectators, but that could be just you. 

“i was, as you see, but i saw you up here and thought it was time for a break,” you could see his teammates shake heads at him in disappointment, proceeding to continue with their practice. “what’s up?” 

you don’t respond to him and instead, take your time watching the others practise their shots. you watch the way one of them, who you think is taehyun, goes for a dunk, credits to hanbin for telling you names for a few shots. next to you, heeseung shouts out a tip or two for the boy for him to have an easier and effective approach at the said move. heeseung is good at dunks, you’ve heard it from students, you’ve seen it in the last match as well. just one shot was enough to tell you how good he is at it, it’s like basketball flows in his veins, like he can close his eyes and still manage to get a basket. 

your eyes ghost up the court and shift to him— there’s a content smile on his face, a relaxed posture as if there’s nothing for him to worry about. he takes a sip from his energy drink, you wonder if he, or anyone from the team, even gets time to have their meals. the expression on his face, it’s something you’ve never seen on him during lessons. it takes you back to the match, how he looked on court a day before, certain of every move he made, every step, every breath, without doubts, no second thoughts. you’ve done enough lab projects with heeseung to know how his hands shake when he’s preparing a slide or extracting a sample from a centrifuge, afraid that one wrong move and he would mess up the efforts of everyone in the group. that hesitation is nowhere to be seen on the court, gone like it has never existed. as if lee heeseung, the star student and player, has never had an encounter with nervousness and hesitation in his life. there’s a thin line between studies and sport for him, you finally realise it after much consideration. maybe, you’re going beyond your boundaries and making assumptions about a guy you barely know, even if you would never voice all these thoughts to him, you think you know the reason why there’s a different him on the stage when the ball is in hands.  

“how did you realise that you like basketball? you know, like it enough to devote so much of your time and have it alongside studies?” because even if biotech is something he’s studying and wants to make a career in, you guess that it’s just a source of satisfaction. in your eyes, through your perception, basketball is what makes him truly happy. 

you don’t know why someone wouldn’t pick satisfaction over happiness, especially when it’s coming with its hands full of opportunities to grab that bag.

“eh, i don’t have a sob story about it, if that is what you’re hoping for,” he chugs down the contents of the can before crushing it to the slightest, eyes squinting at the opposite wall before they move back to meet yours. “i never had to sit and think about basketball and studies, you know, as in how am i going to manage both of them. it just happened. i started playing basketball in middle school and it has been with me ever since,” 

heeseung’s side of the story is simple— a mediocre guy who was introduced to sports by his older brother and now, it’s one of the most important things in his life. middle school heeseung preferred staying in and playing video games instead of going out. in fact, middle school heeseung resembles you in all the ways that make him different from you right now. he has been good at learning and remembering things, he takes liking to things quicker than others do. basketball was like for him— easy, quick, fun, like a way to release all the stress after a long day at school. in heeseung’s story, there isn’t a main character who helped him choose the path he’s walking right now. instead, all he had was his family who introduced him to the various aspects and opportunities, and he simply ended up joining hands with the ones he liked, deciding to not let it go before the dead end. 

“i want to have that passion for things,” a soft laughter falls off your lips, it’s an attempt to make your sob story look less pitiful. “i used to paint and play piano— but painting, mostly, was really good at it. i learnt how to draw before i learnt how to tie my shoelaces. i couldn’t go a day without painting, but then highschool happened, i had pressure to do well, expectations from friends and family, had a dream outside painting, and now, i haven’t painted in years,” 

unlike heeseung, art started as more than just a side business to you. it’s not something you were introduced to in the middle of your life but rather is something you grew up with. you can blame or credit your mother for making paintings and having them in almost every corner of your house. it’s one of the reasons why at five years old you were beyond fascinated at all the patterns and colours. no one would’ve guessed that science would manage to sweep you off your feet right from the first grade, given the way your hands danced a duet to their own melody along with a paintbrush, as if each stroke has a conscious life of its own. no one would’ve guessed that your mother would tell you to stop painting and focus on studies, neither would they have known that she would become the reason why you no longer feel the same way about art. as stated before, life is unpredictable— because no one would’ve guessed that sitting here on the bleachers with heeseung and sharing a piece of your life would water the seeds of doubts in your heart, the ones that bloom at the sight of him.

he thinks your story is sad— with all due respect, without sarcasm, of course. it’s the best he can say. “i think it’s more of a ‘connection’ thing. you think you’ve lost the connection but you simply need to pickup a canvas and some colours to relink, if you get me,” because heeseung has had somewhat of a same experience, with music, and sitting front of a piano to play one of sibelius’ symphonies after senior year highschool finals was all it took him to find his lost interest in music. even though it’s nothing more than just a hobby, even if it's just something he considers as a way to pass time, heeseung knows how it feels to let go of something that is an integral part of one’s life. 

“it has always been about timing, heeseung,” you shake your head, trying to prove him wrong using your own arguments. “you think i haven’t tried painting again? i still have art supplies stacked up in my cupboard. it’s all about timing. when you like something, you only get a few chances to make sure it stays with you for a lifetime. how many people do you know who have given up on their hobbies because they claim to have lost interest? the thing is, the interest is still there, it’s the inability and fear of not being able to do it again. if you timing is off, no matter how much you try, things won’t work, and what you love will end up becoming a closed chapter of your life,” 

a pause. he sits still, eyes admiring your face while his mind is busy replaying your words in the back of his head. heeseung wonders how valid they are when it comes to people. he likes you, despite the constant denial which is only for show, by the way. it doesn’t take a scientist to read him. reading him isn’t even close to rocket science, he doesn’t understand how you haven’t caught up even after being incredibly smart. he has seen you hang out with hanbin— heeseung hates that guy, by the way. there’s no solid logic, it’s just that hanbin seems to be around you all the time and heeseung thinks of him as a leech sucking blood off its host. heeseung would never admit but it’s just his jealousy playing tricks on him, and even though it doesn’t look like you have any romantic feelings towards that guy, it would be fucking embarrassing for heeseung lose you to a guy who isn’t even half as qualified as him. ( yes, he is judging characters based on academic qualifications, no heeseung wouldn’t explain why )

“i like you,” and so, he lets his feelings win for once, deciding to let his heart take control instead, closing doors to any room for rational thinking like it never existed. “you said it was about timing, about trying hard enough and having only a few chances, perhaps, just one bullet, and i’m shooting my shot right now. i don’t want to remember you as a closed chapter of my life,” 

it would be such a waste of chemistry if you end up becoming just a closed chapter of his life. heeseung has done his research, more like reading tons of books and watching hundreds of movies to understand the potential that two academic rivals have. no one knows this, not even his closest friends, but heeseung’s favourite genre might simply be enemies to lovers and living that trope doesn’t sound as bad when it’s with you. he has spent hours thinking about the number of productive library dates you could have, working on projects together and brainstorming about the next biggest revolution in the RDT world, changing the public’s outlook at genetics forever. it sounds stupid and makes him sound even stupider, even as a lost cause, but heeseung doesn’t care. in his mind, it’s the best date someone could have. to live and become successful together, it sounds like a perfect plan to him.   

truthfully, you have always been a part of heeseung’s future, near or distant. he always always pictures you in his life, standing next to him during graduation, bidding goodbyes at farewell, exchanging shy greetings at reunions ten years later while reminiscing about everything he did to irritate you, that would sound embarrassing a decade later. your presence will always be significant to him, he just hopes to remember you as something more than just a rival, just a classmate he never really got to know, just a person he spent his two years hating upon, just a crush he didn’t get to confess to. 

the catch— heeseung has already started picturing his future and you are not even sure of your present— and while he is looking at you for an answer, you’re lost inside your head, looking for words to articulate. 

heeseung is someone you planned to stay away from for the rest of your university life. him stepping into your life already costs you a lot, namely: dropping in ranks and losing your infamous title. his actions cost you the time you could use to study, which is actually upon you because you can simply ignore him instead of spending hours on thinking about his hows, whens and whats. heeseung was supposed to be the academic rival slash classmate that he is, instead of allowing him to be something more, but beyond rivalry, feelings, etcetera. you knew the way you felt about him, even though you couldn’t be as certain as him, or even to claim you see him the same way he feels about you.

turns out, heeseung has always been sure of certain things in his life. 

“heeseung, i’m—”

“not sure? busy? stressed? i know you have a lot of things going on right now. take your time, study for the finals, finish your papers, sort out your own issues and then come back to me. i’ll be waiting,” it’s like he’s not only good at studying but also at reading minds, because heeseung seems to have guessed a part of exactly what you’ve been thinking. call it timing, jay calls him to get back to practice just a few seconds later— a perfect excuse to leave. “looks like my break is over,” 

you sit speechless, watching him walk away like an opportunity that just walked out of your hand. it feels like a slight defeat, like a test you failed when you could've scored better, if not a full score. it's funny because this wasn't a competition, you weren't rejected, more like you rejected him, but it still feels like he has the upper hand. it's funny and equally annoying because heeseung is supposed to be nothing more than just a nobody, somebody you aren't even supposed to spare two thoughts on, but here you are sitting with the guy with your feelings all over the place. 

“heeseung,” you stand up, your voice making him turn to look at you, both of you ignoring the sight of his teammates standing motionless in their positions, too stunned at your voice reverberating in the almost empty court. “let’s do this: if you manage to stand first in the finals, i’ll date you,”

a lowkey confession leading to a mere competition. his lips morph into a smirk, the ones he'd pass you before tests, an open challenge offered directly to you. “and if i don’t?”

and you mirror the same smirk back at him, you weren't going to back off simply because it's about the person you possibly have a crush on. “i become just a closed chapter of your life,” 

let the game begin. 

III. LIAR AND THE LOVER

despite heeseung’s sudden confession, you’re doing quite well, taking it better than expected. you had your moment of confusion back when the words of proposal fell off his lips— anyone would. after all, it’s lee heeseung we’re talking about. you can only imagine the saddened faces of his fangirls once they hear about him confessing to you.  

“jay told me you made a bet with heeseung?” hanbin’s question catches your attention as soon as he steps into the cafe, managing to turn a few heads towards you in the process. 

“you know jay?” 

he sits next to you, pulling out his laptop in a hurry. you can guess it’s because of his essay that’s due before six in the evening, one he could’ve written last night instead of getting wasted at his friend’s birthday gathering. “we share history, also, that’s not the answer to my question,” 

“it’s not a bet, ‘bin,” your words aren’t half wrong. “just a silly game, y’know? i didn’t even expect him to agree,” frankly, even you don’t know why or how you came up with such a bizarre idea in broad daylight. usually, people get bouts of excitement or embarrassment while confessing or being confessed to, but in your case, you jumped over the fence and made a proposal that you have only seen in fiction. 

“nah, no way you’re setting up your whole love life for failure and calling it a silly game,” the disappointment is evident in hanbin’s voice as his fingers danced over his keyboard, typing with a speed that could leave the trains behind. well, people tend to get like that when you have an assignment due and the deadline is just a few hours to go. you guess that he’s too busy to even listen to your reasoning, which is appreciated considering you have no reasoning as for why you did what you did. 

“you made a bet with heeseung,” you turn your head around, making the boy next to you do the same in the process. it’s miyeon— you should’ve seen it coming, honestly. your actions have consequences, as always, and one of them is dealing with her non-stop interrogation as if you’re the prime suspect for some gruesome crime and every question answered wrong opens gates to capital punishment. sometimes, you wonder why she didn’t go with studying law instead. 

“how do you know?”

“everyone knows, yn. it’s all they’ve been talking about,” she sighs, sitting opposite to you while taking a look at hanbin’s laptop. “even the football fanatics are talking about attending the game, god, hanbin we better hurry that day or we’re not getting a seat,” you should’ve seen it coming, honestly. miyeon might not be the most social person, but she definitely is the most updated. nothing escapes her, every tiny incident reaches her ears one way or another, and if not, then she just finds out about it using her sources, given you don’t know about her sources. it’s one of the reasons why you’re almost convinced that she runs a shady side business alongside her career in bioengineering. 

you take a sharp breath, going through the bunch of papers arranged in your file. “it’s not that serious. he confessed to me and i said i’d date him if he manages to secure the first position in the finals as well,” 

“you did that knowing he hasn’t been studying because of games while you’re studying like your life depends on it? there’s no way he’s going to be first, and everything aside, it was a wrong fucking move to play with his feelings,” play with his feelings— a pause, you don’t like how it sounds. you’re not playing with his feelings, that’s far from what you’re doing. it’s a game, a competition, new to your friends but you and heeseung have always been familiar with it. there’s an unspoken rule to test each other’s limits. the last time you and heeseung did something like this, it resulted with you writing ‘lee heeseung is smarter than ln yn,’ in bold on a sheet of paper and putting it on the notice board for the whole campus to see. in your eyes, it's history repeating itself yet again. sure, there is something else at stake, but the rules are the same, and you don’t know why your friends are acting like you’ve done something terribly unethical. 

“no one’s playing with his feelings, miyeon, and i know for a fact he’s making time to study for finals,” you clarify your side, slight annoyance evident in your voice. “besides, it doesn’t matter. it’s not like this is serious, i only did this to buy time to figure out my feelings while the game gives me a reason to study and not get distracted. you know how i get when i lose focus,” 

that could be the reasoning behind your actions, of course. even while sitting in a cafe with your friends and having a conversation that is about to make your blood boil, you’re thinking of heeseung in the back of your head. his words play over and over again like a broken record player, the image of him on court or studying pops up in your mind every now and then. obsession is a disease and you have it bad. it’s crazy to be thinking about someone so much without being absolutely floored for them. 

“so you’ll date him despite the outcome?” hanbin drags you out of the well of your thoughts, a question that leaves miyeon flabbergasted. 

“if i manage to figure out my feelings then of course,” a chuckle falls off your lips. “i’m telling you guys, it’s not that serious. i’m sure he knows it too,” and you’re really confident about this— it usually never ends on a good note. 

“and if he doesn’t? what if it’s serious for him? yn, you never know how one thing might affect someone, and feelings are not something to gamble on. you should’ve told him you need some time to think instead of giving him a false hope or whatsoever,” it’s now that you start having second thoughts. the next two hours go by amidst silence, a few small talks blooming here and there, but dissolving just as quickly within the ticking clock of deadlines for assignments and exams. 

it doesn’t take a scientist to know when miyeon is upset, for she isn’t the best at masking her emotions. through the sneaky glances at her that you’ve stolen over time, you can tell she’d rather spend the evening in silence than talk to you, which is a challenge with herself because she’s really talkative. it takes two to sing a duet, two to play and game, two people to make a relationship work. heeseung and you— the two of you are enough to make decisions for yourselves, decide what’s right and wrong and, something about miyeon questioning your choices doesn’t sit right with you. 

too many cooks spoil the broth, it’s the principle of your life, the words you’ve been following to this date. it was your decision to have a few friends instead of a fifty— quality over quantity, as one might call it— and there has never been a moment when you regretted having a handful of people to call friends. instead of consulting too many people about your major in university, you simply went with what your parents and homeroom teacher suggested. life has been good so far. the more the better is something that isn’t applicable in your case. instead of telling everyone about your dilemma regarding heeseung, you decided to keep it to yourself, eventually opening up to heeseung when the time comes. you’re doing just fine on your own, it doesn’t make sense to you why a third person’s opinion is making you doubt your decision making abilities that you’ve been so proud of. 

this is not a gamble, you tell yourself, it’s a fair play. you gave him options, he made the choice, it’s consensual. you didn’t force him into this game, he didn’t pressure you to respond, it’s a harmless competition that’s bound to have a positive outcome. you even spend a good fifteen minutes wondering if you should go back to heeseung and take it all back in case he finds it insensitive to put his feelings on the line. doing it in person seemed impossible so you resorted to texts, typing and deleting your message before giving up altogether. in your head, this was an okay decision. a sweet confession, a person with unsure feelings, a harmless competition. 

you hope it doesn’t backfire ten times worse. 

. 

. 

.

three days later, you find yourself on the way to basketball club rooms once again. you checked the court, it was empty, and your only option was to check the club slash locker rooms if you wanted to see heeseung. okay, first things first, you don’t miss him— maybe a little, but it’s because you miss hearing his weird ass answers in class even though they’re right. heeseung just has an unique approach to things, in other words he simply knows how to buy time and go in detail about things he’s an expert at to impress the professors. however, that doesn’t seem to be the case for him because he has approached you six times in the past three days, asking if you’re free to hangout. 

you like to think he misses you or that his requests were because he wanted to make sure you don’t study and lose to him, either could be true. knowing heeseung, he’s capable of going both ways. whatever may be the reason, you turned him down all six times, and it’s not because you have something against him— of course, you don’t. that’s common knowledge by now— your reason for not hanging out with him is studies, as expected of you honestly. the bet aside, you had way too many chapters to learn before exams and all heeseung ever does is take up your headspace everytime you sit down with your books spread open. avoiding him in thoughts wasn’t possible so avoiding him in person was your last straw. 

which leads to the present : you rushing to heeseung, again,  not because you miss him but because you need his help, though one of the reasons could be that you feel bad for turning him down six times. you can hear muffled laughter from a distance as you approach the club rooms, a bang against one of the lockers, a loud profanity that follows afterwards. their humour is beyond your level of understanding. 

“heese— oh, um—” you greet and turn away just as quickly when you realise that one of them is shirtless. it’s obviously heeseung, you can’t mistake his face for someone else. and you’re guessing he’s the last one to come out of shower because everyone else is dressed, maybe he’s someone who likes to take his time showering— you seriously need to stop thinking before your imagination goes bonkers. “sorry, can you come outside for a second when you’re ready?”

another round of laughter follows, more like teasing remarks because you can swear you heard a few of them refer to you as his girlfriend, and it gets you a little flustered, you won’t lie. you even hear one of them yell ‘ooh, get it, heeseung,’ as heeseung walks out, fixing his t-shirt, responding back with his middle finger up at whoever made the comment. 

“hi,” his voice isn’t much louder than a whisper, eyes fluttering between you, the floor, and his teammates who pretend to not look when you peek inside. there’s a soft smile on his face— it’s cute, you think, and then rethink what you just thought. heeseung is, well, not cute— usually. he’s good-looking, handsome, hot, sexy, even, since you’re on the topic of finding adverbs that suit heeseung. cute is rarely one of them, you don’t think you’ve seen him as flustered as he is right now— rubbing his nape, a tint of pink on his cheeks, avoiding eye-contact— that’s far from the heeseung you’ve been seeing for past two semesters. 

“hi, can you send me the pdf of the extra set of questions that prof sent last week? i think i accidentally deleted it while clearing up my storage,” you get straight to the point, trying not to waste much of your precious time. “i could’ve texted you but figured you’d be too busy with practice to check messages,” you remember what happened last time; he took six days to reply to your texts. you’re quite a patient person otherwise but in this case, you’re in dire need of questions to practise for tomorrow’s mock. 

“ah, sure, give me a minute,” and he pulls out his phone, scrolling through an ocean of files and documents to look for the one you need. you do think he’s gorgeous though, it’s a well known fact that he’s stunning, but you think this look of heeseung surpasses the other ones quite easily— hairs wet after shower, partially covering his forehead, a white t-shirt that’s slightly wet near the shoulders because of the water dripping down— you wish he’d at least dry his hair before catching a cold. “actually, i would have replied to your texts if you had— oh, yes, there you go. do you want me to email it to you or…?”

“oh, just texts would be fine, thank you,” 

“done,” a pause, you feel his eyes on you as you go through the pdf to take a brief look at the contents. “do you want to go for a walk? or are you getting back to studies?” at this point, you’re sure that question is a way to tease you about your obsession with studies. heeseung may think you’re overdoing it because you want to win, but it’s no more than the normal amount of hours you spend studying. he never paid you any attention to care about that. 

“no, i’m done for today, actually,” and that’s a big fat lie considering you were planning to solve some questions and revise two chapters before leaving the campus, but it’s fine. you feel bad for rejecting him six times either way. 

never in your life did you imagine that you’d be going on a walk with heeseung. it’s nothing serious, you just didn’t think there would be a day where you two would have normal people conversation while doing normal people activities instead of trying to disparage each other based on grades and academic performances. to think about it now, heeseung isn’t half bad, it was all in your head. it’s not like you had vile assumptions about him, you did find him annoying and way too prideful— anyone like him would be, actually, and heeseung is still quite humble about his achievements because if it was someone else, they sure would have made it everyone’s problem. 

actually, heeseung is insufferable as well. you remember your first encounter with him, first and so far, the worst— in the laboratory. you and heeseung sat next to each other and when the professor asked him to briefly explain his experiment, you realised it’s oddly similar to yours. you had accused him of cheating, like any sane person would, which led to him getting two scores less than a perfect. he only lost one score because of you, actually, and that too because you were professor’s favourite and heeseung was new to the department. the other score, you don’t know where he missed, but that incident led to heeseung deleting your powerpoint thirty minutes before your presentation, which led you stealing his notes and selling it some junior through an undercover twitter account, which led to the professor asking you to help him with notes before exams, and everything ultimately led to the realisation that heeseung is actually quite decent if you behave with decency as well. the give and take is serious for him, because he gave you notes and so, you had to take his offer of going on a walk. even though it seemed like you had a choice, a part of you knew it was a mirage. you would’ve ended up on a walk with heeseung one way or another. 

“i come here whenever i’m tired or just not feeling well,” he says and you wake up from your daydream of memories you shared with heeseung. the way he phrases his words makes it sound like he has brought you to one of his most secret locations, one that no one knows except taehyun, probably, considering they’re close friends, but in reality, it’s the playground you pass by every single day on your way from your apartment to university. 

“oh, are you okay? are you nervous for tomorrow’s match?” you continue, deciding you shouldn’t ruin his favourite place for him. honestly, no one would’ve guessed that lee heeseung would come to a children’s park on bad days. 

“actually, this walk was for you, you looked like you’d pass out if you spent another hour in front of books,” and you’re done, standing speechless with your eyes wide open at his words that he says with a victorious smile on his face. “you should start taking breaks, yn. it’s not a bad thing to go home earlier when you’re tired,” 

he’s right, oh, you know he’s absolutely right about everything he just said, from passing out to going home. a part of him probably even feels glad to have you out on his little walk with him, you’re getting your well deserved rest, thanks to him. heeseung might even ask if he can walk you home considering you’re ‘done for today,’ which is very thoughtful of him— but what does this make you? a liar? miyeon was right, you’re gambling, even though it’s not that serious. so far, you’ve lied about being done with your studies and the bet you made with heeseung because at this point, it’s more like a prank, except it’s not funny and that it might end up with him getting upset with you because tomorrow is basketball tournament’s finals and you’re here wasting his time, all because you lied. 

a liar and a lover, on a date at children’s park— match made in theatre club, you’d say. 

“are you sure this is not your way to manipulate into not studying and losing to you, just so you can date me?” you try to play it cool, knowing very well that it can be one of his tricks or whatsoever. after all, it’s the same heeseung who made you trip in front of your class just three days after being transferred. 

“i was being genuine but it doesn’t sound like a bad idea,” of course, it doesn’t. he gets to win, after all. “can i walk you home?” just as you had guessed. 

“i would love to go home but my bag is still in the library,” you had considered taking it with you, actually, but dismissed the thought once you realised you had to come back to the library and continue with your studies. albeit, you’re not studying, that’s on you for lying into oblivion and giving into his requests.  

once again, you two are back to walking, this time back to the university campus. it’s nice, having a walk with heeseung, it’s sweet, slow, comforting, like slow music flowing around and engulfing you in its arms. the unsaid words are weighing on your shoulders, you can feel the pressure, but it’s not awkward. above the busy hustle of the city and blaring horns, it’s a quiet world with heeseung, it’s nice, like a warm hug after a long day. you didn’t think you had it in yourself to spend a minute next to him without overthinking and possibly starting a banter. you didn’t think heeseung had it in him either, to make a walk feel so close to home.  

“so, how are you coping knowing you’re going to lose once again?” and, it’s back again. everything is a hoax actually— his looks? a trap. his smile? a trap. it’s all a facade because once he opens his mouth, nothing but horseshit comes out of it. 

“very well, in fact, because i know i’m the one getting that first spot this time,” call it overconfidence but you really do think you’ll get your title back this time. you’ve been studying well and hard enough, solving questions and going through every extra set of notes and exercises your professor sent. although, you would claim to beat heeseung had you been prepared or not because it’s fun messing with him. 

“i’d rather have you show some mercy, in that case,” before you know it, you’re already standing in front of the library. “academic defeat and a heartbreak, it already sounds painful. i hope you go easy on me,” it’s sarcastic, of course, all these saccharine words of confessions made you forget how he is under the layers of smiles and winks that adorn his face. a session full of silence follows, the comforting tranquillity morphing into something tensed as he steps closer, your breath getting caught up in your throat as your mind dysfunctions— it’s the effect he has. 

“heeseung,” you put a finger on his lips— the only thing between him and you, the only thing helping you stay sane and composed at the moment, because only you know the struggle of pulling yourself together while standing inches away from heeseung as he grabs your wrist and plants a soft kiss on your finger before removing it from his lips. 

“why, that’s unfair. you get to see me anytime you want while i have to wait because you’re busy studying, you even get to see me shirtless, and i can’t even get a kiss?” and you hate the look in his eyes, you hate how close he is standing and how it makes your heart go crazy. this isn’t even the beginning and you hate how you feel like you’ve already lost, and you hate how confident he is with every breath he breathes against your lips. “just kidding, see you tomorrow,” 

and you hate how this is where you realise that you’ve fallen deep, and you’ve fallen hard. 

IV. PLANET TO A SUN

heeseung has been thinking about the walk for an hour and twenty-seven minutes— actually more, ever since the moment he got home last night, but that is how long he has been practising for, eyes on the ball but mind revolving around you like a planet to a sun. you had texted him about a rule this morning— no kissing before finals. actually no kissing before we start dating, lee— your exact words. they have been holding him back from thinking straight, even made him practise an apology while looking in the mirror if in case his actions offended you in any way. lost in thought, heeseung manages to get another shot in. that’s twenty-third in a row ever since he stepped on the court, which is unbelievable, even for him. 

“is it just me or did heeseung’s performance improve overnight?” jake looks up at jay, fastening his shoelace, a chuckle escaping his lips that goes unnoticed. 

the latter offers a hand to jake, helping him stand as they share a laugh before jay passes him the ball. “well, of course it will. he has to impress his girlfriend today at finals,”

“she’s not my girlfriend,” heeseung grunts almost as if hearing you and the word girlfriend in the same sentences cuts ten years from his lifespan. he knows it doesn’t, he’d kill to call you his’. the reason behind his edgy behaviour is your text and the weird rule you’ve inserted in an already weird bet— it’s not like he minds it, the bet, obviously. heeseung definitely minds not getting to kiss you for the next few weeks. 

“yet,” jay clarifies, emphasising enough for the world to understand that his words are supposed to be in italics. “she will be if you score more than her in finals, which i don’t think is possible because unlike you, she has been studying all day everyday. i don’t know how she’s still alive,” and jay isn’t half bad student himself. juniors in business have his name residing on the tips of their tongues. he simply thinks you’re a freak for being in no clubs and not participating in anything that doesn’t involve studying. 

“she’s the top student for a reason,” jake adds. 

“i am the top student,” and hearing his friends call you the top students hurts heeseung’s ego a little bit. crushes aside, you’re his rival before his girlfriend, and you’re not even his girlfriend. you’re basically just a rival. “also, it’s not hard to study all day if you’re used to it,” 

and jay scoffs in disbelief. “right, you would know something about it, lee i can’t go a day without playing basketball heeseung,” 

“hey, everyone,” your voice reverberating in the court is what stops heeseung from responding to jay with a snarky remark. “just wanted to wish you all goodluck. i really hope you guys win the tournament or else, it’s going to be hard for heeseung to deal with two loses after i beat him in finals as well,” 

heeseung rolls his eyes in disbelief, you hear taehyun exclaim that he has been team yn since the very first day, a claim that few others proceed to back up, especially sunghoon, with his own lore of how he prays everyday for you to win the bet with heeseung. you’re honoured to receive such support, to some extent. a part of you still wishes for the whole thing to be a secret restricted to just heeseung and you but again, it was your fault for placing bets in court, in front of the entirety of the basketball team to witness, even their coach. 

“you’re a little too confident, don’t you think so?” he smirks, taking a few steps towards you with the ball supported between his arms and torso. “let me know where you’d like to go for our first date,” and it turns out heeseung is just as confident about winning the bet as you, perhaps even more. you are not surprised, being defending champions does that to people, or so you believe.

“mhm, let’s have you score a date first, lee,” you would have loved to talk more but decide to bid your goodbyes as soon as hanbin’s message pops up on your phone, the little scowl on heeseung’s face going unnoticed the moment he sees his name on your phone screen. heeseung would never in his wildest dream confess to being jealous— it doesn’t even make sense for him to be jealous of hanbin because he confessed to you, and you seem to like him back. his worries are pointless just like the useless art projects his art teacher used to assign in middle school. 

your fingers dance on the keyboard of your phone as you reply to hanbin, the subtle taps synchronous with your steps with you rushing across the quadrangle, taking the nearest flight of stairs to the library. you wanted to spend the day at your apartment since classes are suspended for the rest of the day on account of the match. however, hanbin managed to convince you into coming to the library to help him with a few assignments here and there. you’re not opposed to studying on days-off, in fact you think it’s better since you get all twenty-four hours to yourself instead of investing any of it in classes. the match gave you an excuse to call in for a break, or an excuse to take your time choosing the outfits as if you’re the main character on such a big day. 

the librarian gestures to you to slow down the moment you almost avoid slipping on the tiled floor, in the process of holding the door frame to stop yourself, an embarrassed apology makes its way from you to her as you spot hanbin in the further corner with his airpods plugged in. your first instinct is to scare him from behind but the thought leaves your mind as soon as you remember that you’re in a library, and getting kicked out on a day that has been treating you well so far doesn’t sound so smart. 

so, you settle with approaching normal, instead of pulling random stunts, pulling out the chair opposite to him quietly to not make any sounds, mumbling a soft ‘hi’ as he takes out one of his airpods. “where’s miyeon?” 

“sick, she’s skipping today’s match as well,” hanbin replies, eyes fixed on the notes he's copying from the laptop to loose sheets of paper, before looking up at you with another question on the tip of his tongue. “are you two still not talking?” 

“we did, none of us brought up what happened that day, though,” you shrug as if it doesn't bother you anymore, as if you don't want it to bother you more than it already does.

miyeon and you have known each other since university, she was a senior in undergrad course who was forced by financial circumstances to skip one academic year, thus rejoining in third year along with you and hanbin. seeing her was less frequent while she was still a senior, although you're not sure if you've spent more than three days away from her ever since postgrad school started. a heavy tension masks all your conversations with her, over texts or in person, and even though you're trying to act like the small talks with her don't hurt you, a part of you is starting to miss the best friend you used to talk to all night, about wasted matters and sharing useless gossip.

silence fills in for the lack of words between you and hanbin and you allow it to do so, deciding not to disturb the decorum of the library anymore. you scroll through your phone mindlessly, there’s nothing to look at except people going crazy about the evening's match. you even manage to stumble upon a thread of arguments featuring students of your university and the one the team is going against. it’s all empty threats, seriously, ‘kys’ and ‘ur mom’s in my bed’ aren’t even insults at this point. they’re funny, sometimes, but you’ll never understand why or how they ended up being insults. ( honestly, you don’t see the potential ) 

“are you serious about heeseung?” a crack in the ice, hanbin's question catches you off guard, with a number of questions running back and forth in your mind before you settle with the one to respond with in return.

you blink in confusion. “i guess so, why?” 

“nothing, it’s just i never expected it to be him, y’know, considering your history,” you think it's unavoidable, questions along these lines, they would've been asked sooner or later. truthfully, even you didn't expect yourself to fall for heeseung.

your history, what even is there to call history except blood and war? both you and heeseung have been up each other's neck from the moment your gazes collided. it sounds like a stupid beef between highschool students, almost embarrassing now that you both are nearing post graduation. with all the days that you’ve spent thinking about ways to get on his nerves, or worse— ruin his projects, it wasn’t just you who resorted to ruining each other’s hard work— no one would have known you and heeseung would ever end up on this note, with him chasing you and you pinning for him, all under the blankets of a silly bet.

“well, as i always say, hanbin, life is unpredictable,” there’s a smile dancing on your lips, a dazzling hint of factuality in your eyes. “besides, he’s a nice guy behind all the annoying things he does. i think he's pretty serious about me, or us, too,”

hanbin has noticed the way you smile at your phone. it doesn’t always happen, only when you’re talking with miyeon or a few friends from highschool, now heeseung ranks up on that list as well. he’d be lying if the uneasiness doesn’t bother him, it’s bound to surface when he remembers all the nights you spent complaining about heeseung. actually, the rant session included hanbin, you and miyeon, but she would rather go to sleep than listen to you complain like a child for hours on roll, leaving you and hanbin driving the conversation. he has lost count of the amount of times you’ve ended up crying in the process, or the amount of times he has hung up on you only to show up at your place late at night to make sure you’re doing okay, and the nights you two have spent watching movies and falling asleep on the couch, followed by the mornings gone by with miyeon being salty over the fact that none of you invited her to your impromptu nightover. 

the thought of heeseung confessing to you still surprises hanbin, it’s one of the things he deemed as impossible since forever. and he can go, warn heeseung about hurting you, dropping all sorts of threats at the boy. hanbin can go on for hours about how he would make heeseung’s life a living hell if he ever broke your heart. he can prove the righteous friend that he is, but at the end of day, he would always be the third person between you and heeseung. hanbin can only assume so much about you two, not even sure if all of it is right. he can only wish so much for you to have eyes for someone else. 

and so, all he does is shoot a smile at you. “i hope he is,” 

. 

. 

.

the only time you step out of the library is exactly three hours and thirty three minutes later, to sprint towards the basketball knowing that you absolutely cannot afford losing seats in the first two rows. fortunately, or unfortunately enough, you’re not the only student going crazy about the game. you can swear at least a dozen came out of the library right after you, even though all of them may not attend the game.

you’re already running late— well, still twenty minutes early but that doesn’t give you much time to meet the team and secure the front row seats. and meeting the team is an excuse, let’s be honest. you want to meet heeseung, have a quick private talk, kiss him good luck, you don’t know; you wouldn’t. your head is in a mess, behind you hanbin is yelling for you to slow down as you run down the stairs. half of you is worrying about seats and the other half is wording her sentences out for you to say when you meet heeseung, and the team. you can wish them all the luck in the world, after all, it’s the university team and you would love to see them win. the whole craze about sports doesn’t feel real and worth the hype but things start coming full circle when you’re the one watching. slowly, as one would expect, but you are starting to understand why everyone goes bonkers during tournament season. 

“damn, slow down,” hanbin huffs, grabbing your arm for you to slow down. “it’s not like they wouldn’t start without you,” 

“that’s the problem. what if they start without me?” but your legs wouldn’t rest before arriving at the court. you know your words sound funny, painting you as if the result of today’s match depends on you. it feels crazy to be this excited about a mere basketball match, nonetheless you know it’s not the match you’re actually looking forward to. “besides, i’m more worried about seats,” 

“i asked hao to save two for us. he’s friends with heeseung, i think he will do that much for his friend’s girlfriend or whatsoever,” you see him roll his eyes at his own words, proceeding to slide his hands into yours before continuing on your way to the venue, this time a little slower. 

you have heard about hao from hanbin and miyeon a few times. he’s pursuing a masters in music, wants to teach violin professionally according to hanbin. miyeon has even attended one of his recitals last autumn, something from sibelius, if you remember correctly. he is popular, and you see the depths of his popularity as soon as you spot him on the bleachers, surrounded by people left and right, one of them trying to grab a seat next to him before he points at you and hanbin, and the crowd goes mild, ultimately dissolves as the players step in. 

“i didn’t know heeseung had a girlfriend,” you don’t know what you were expecting, perhaps a few words of greetings, hi’s and hello’s since you two are meeting for the first time. anything, except that question. 

“believe me, i didn’t either,” and why even is heeseung going around telling everyone that you’re his girlfriend?        

the court breaks into cheers as soon as the game commences and yet, it feels a little quite. perhaps, it’s miyeon’s absence getting to you. had it been her next to you instead of hanbin and hao— who are busy amongst themselves by the way, talking about anything but the match— she would’ve been eating snacks non-stop, giving you a little talk on every player, like a resume. it’s take her fifteen minutes to give you summaries on players from each team, their achievements, girlfriends and probably even mothers, who knows. although, you haven’t attend many games with miyeon to pinpoint every good and bad thing about her impromptu presentation, her unofficial commentary helped you sit throughout the match. it feels incomplete without her, not just the game but days in general. it’s definitely her absence making your surroundings feel quieter. 

so, long story short, you don’t have a clue of what’s happening. well, you do, a little. you know what a dunk and a three pointer is besides the names of players on your university team, but that basically sums up your knowledge about basketball. all sorts of voices are mingling in the air but you’re busy following the ball around the court with your gaze, occasionally cursing and clapping when the team misses a close basket or scores a comparatively difficult basket. the tension between the two teams keeps rising as the game continues. you notice sunghoon groan in disappointment as one of the players from the opposite team gets in a banked shot from the wings, scoring two points for the team. a part of the crowd goes quieter at jay’s failed attempt to save the score for his team, beomgyu patting on jay’s back while muttering something along the lines of ‘good job.’ involuntarily, your eyes travel to heeseung, whose expression stiffens at the sight of the scoreboard displaying a two-point lag.

a time out call follows as the players move back to their respective ends, and it physically hurts you to see the difference in atmosphere between the two teams, or the frowns on the faces of players on your university team. for a second, you even consider walking down to them as they gather around the coach, grabbing water bottles and towels while nodding at the coach’s words between heavy breaths. you catch jake looking in your direction for a brief second, a smile makes its way to your lips before he responds with one as well, proceeding to nudge heeseung’s arm and pointing in your direction. his actions are left with no response— it hurts a little, although you are aware that anything else falls after winning the match on his priority list— and they get back on the court as the game resumes. 

“they need to catch up soon,” hanbin mutters, taking a look at the clock. and even if it’s just a two point difference, you’re starting to understand why it creates a huge gap. it’s almost like scores on a test. going from eighty-three to ninety then hundred is easier than going from ninety-eight to hundred. greater differences are easier to overcome; for you have so many rooms for improvisation and thus, so many chances at closing the gap. the closer you are to a perfect score, the narrower are the chances and it’s almost impossible to pin-point and work on every single weakness of yours within those two points. you’re pretty sure your words would hardly make sense to anyone else, but nonetheless you understand why everyone on the court looks more attentive, probably like meerkats on the lookout for preys and predators. 

much to your disappointment, the play continues with the rivals dominating the court, giving low to zero chances for the opposition to get their hands on the balls. you even see a few of them trying to provoke heeseung, the latter trying his best to not react but you’re afraid he would start throwing punches if another one of the players passed by him with his middle finger up heeseung’s face. one of them, who you assume is the captain judging from the way he has been directing his team, goes in for a hook, immediately getting blocked by taehyun as the court bursts into loud cheers once again. 

“that was a little too far for a hook,” hao comments, and you nod as if you understand his words and know exactly how a hook is supposed to be. you didn’t even know about a hook until now, and you’re still not sure what it is since all the shots look almost the same to you. 

from that second onwards, it felt as if the control transferred to heeseung’s teams as they transition quickly from defence to offence, making quick passes and running the court, practically catching the opposite team off guard. jay passes the ball to jake, who takes a leap from half court, driving towards the unguarded basket. a quick layup using the backboard, as you hear hanbin name the shot, and basically everyone runs to jake for scoring two points for the team as the scoreboards displays a sour tie. it’s a seemingly easy match after that, especially when the players look like they’re back into the game. sunghoon passes the ball to heeseung who goes for another layup and fails, much to his despair, before going in for a dunk and scoring yet another basket for the team, leading it by two points. you see him passing a cocky smirk at the player from before as jake pats him in the back with heeseung almost stumbling in the process. 

heeseung shoots you a wink before focusing on sunghoon’s words as they get back into position, and even amidst the butterflies you got by his recent actions, you don’t miss the way he stretches his fingers, ring-finger specifically, pointing something about the movements to jay before getting his focus back to the game; and you just hope it isn’t what you’re thinking it is. 

it’s a slow game after that, no points scored, four fouls with two of them back to back, one by each team respectively. the frustration increases on the court, evident in each step taken by the players, groans and sighs fill the atmosphere and get louder than the cheers that have gone quieter once again. it isn’t until a few minutes later that all the players run to the front court as soon as they see an opportunity for a fast break with taehyun taking the lead, passing the ball to jay just a few seconds after, who passes it to heeseung— and call it the lack of efficiency or bad timing, heeseung bumps into one of the players from opposite team, an uneven balance, and falls directly on his right knee, as one of the opposite players throws the ball off-bounds to stop the play. 

the medics take him to the benches, bringing ice packs and everything else before escorting him inside. you considered following him inside before hanbin tells you that the officials aren’t letting anyone meet him, probably until they receive updates of his situations. you bite the inside of your cheeks in nervousness, palms sweating as if you’re about to appear for an exam you weren’t informed about until five minutes ago, or maybe it’s even worse. the murmurs from the crowd or the group of girls behind you, to be more specific, do nothing but make you feel more anxious. zhang hao, being a sports medicine student, tries to give you an insight on heeseung’s injury, telling you that even if he fell directly on his knee and it could result in a patella fracture, or perhaps just dislocation— words that compel you to yell at him to shut up before he ensures that heeseung will be fine. hanbin does that for you, noticing your slightly panicked state, telling hao to talk about anything but anatomy of how badly a simple injury can affect a player, and when sunghoon and taehyun return to the officials with an update on heeseung and a pale face, you knew you had to run to your heeseung as if it’s the end of the world. 

“heeseung,” you breathe out, stepping aside to let the nurse from the infirmary leave before you walk closer to him. the awkwardness between you and other players, namely jay, jake and beomgyu, besides the coach, rings all the bells to remind you that coming here was probably a bad idea. well, of course, you like heeseung and are worried for him, but the tension in the air makes you feel like you showed up uninvited. “are you okay?” 

you ask nonetheless, voice close to a whisper, as you stand at a distance, looking at the bruise on his knee. the smell of antiseptic spray fills your lungs, nose scrunching at the way you could almost taste the diclofenac at the back of your mouth. 

“not really,” he inhales sharply, exhaling a reply once everyone left, knowing they had a game to get back to. “look at you, are you worried for me?”

“i’m regretting coming here now,” liar. and then you let the silence carry the conversation with itself for the next few minutes. you don’t know what to say— what can you say? all you do is sit next to him, hands brushing against his as his winces at the slightest touch. heeseung opened his mouth to say something before dismissing his words with a heavy sigh the very next moment. you almost hold his hand— almost, thinking of holding it ever so carefully as if it’s glass with thousands of cracks, and then you’d kiss it ever so delicately, you did it— almost, but then, it’s just you getting upset over the fact that he played even after hurting his hand.

“so, they’re benching you,” you say in an attempt to strike a conversation, a little conflicted with your choice of words, wondering if he even wants to hear about something related to the match at the moment. 

“of course,” he says it like a matter of fact, a fact whose impact doesn’t seem to touch him. “please tell me they have jeno substituting for me. i’ve barely been getting updates in the group chat,” the least he expected was for one of the substitute players to keep him updated about the game through texts, and heeseung planned to get back to the court until you showed up, taking a seat next to him on the benches in the locker room. you don’t understand why they didn’t take him to the infirmary, and decided to think it’s because locker rooms are closer and if there’s anything heeseung should not be doing right now, it’s moving his injured leg. 

you shrug. “i don’t know, i’ll ask hanbin,”

“thanks,” and even though heeseung isn’t really fond of your friend for reasons that are widely known, at least amidst his friend group, he really hopes hanbin is of some use. 

it’s quiet now. you can hear faint cheers buried in the layers of walls and rooms that stand between the court and the locker room, a few muffled footsteps filling up any spaces left in the air, here and there. you assume it’s his fans trying to check up on him, as annoying as it sounds to you for you’d rather have this moment with him all to yourself. you hear him sigh heavily once every few minutes, trying to ball his injured fingers up in a fist to allow the slightest of moments and ensure healthy circulation, a soft hiss leaving his lips at the sensation of striking pain shooting up his nerves. unlike heeseung, your attention shifts to his injured knee with a faint chill running down your spine as you look at his bruise, which now looks more bluish than it was when you had arrived, signifying the possibly alarming amount of blood that has now clotted in the tissues. 

“you can cry,” nudge him with your shoulders and heeseung directs you to the most disgusted face in return. “what? it’s the finals and you’re injured so you won’t be able to play today. any normal person would sob their eyes out,” 

“i’m not a kid, yn,” he nudges back, a chuckle slipping off his lips. 

“trying to act all cool but you’re probably going to cry yourself to sleep for days, or even weeks,” he holds out his hand for you to hold it as you stand up, an action you give into without opposition, intertwining your fingers with his. there’s a smug smile on your face and he sees it as well, although only you know the way your heart is somersaulting at the way your hands fit his’ like pieces of a puzzle. “i know what you are, heeseung,”

he scoffs at your words, hands still entwined, a lovesick glow in his eyes— it’s your first time seeing this side of him, you’re glad to be one of the people to see it. silence has never felt so comfortable to you. the distant noise from court feels like it rushed on its way to you and heeseung, and stopped at the doors, as if you two are beyond its reach. you might never say it to him, but everything seemingly ceases to exist when you’re with him, and the world feels timeless. it’s embarrassing, cringe, and it’s making your heart beat faster with the way he looks at you. “you need to shut up,”

“make me?” a quick response, one that was supposed to be a joke, a joke which was supposed to be accompanied by laughter and brushed off as another baseless comment, but another second passes as you continue to look into his eyes, and you realise you’re actually considering it— leaning in towards him while giving his hand a light tug to pull him towards you the slightest, your other hand cupping his face as your gaze ghosts up his eyes and settles on his lips. when it comes to him, rationality is out of the window and your lips are on his’ planting the softest kiss at the corner of his mouth before pulling away like nothing ever happened.  

a pause; you could hear the silence ringing in your years, eyes fixed over him as if you’re spilling all your secrets to him, waiting for him to take a hint. “what even happened to the ‘no kissing before finals’ rule?’”

and you realise you had actually forgotten about it, for better and never for the worse, because as you said and as he repeated, it’s all about timing. empty locker rooms, quiet hallways with not a soul around, your hand in his, his eyes on you— the timing couldn’t be better, and you know better than messing up and letting heeseung become just a closed chapter of your life. “yeah, i could care less about that,”

there are a lot of things you could care less about, like the cold metal that stings against your back as he pushes you against the lockers, or the fact that anyone could walk in, any minute; you don’t care, don’t know. his lips are on yours and his hands are on your waist, it feels euphoric the way his lips move in synchrony with yours, fitting like puzzle pieces. heeseung tugs you closer by your waist, a faint gasp escaping your mouth that dissolves immediately into your breaths mingling together. it’s intoxicating and is making you go insane, the way he manages to sweep you off your feet with the smallest of actions and simplest of words— from the very first day. 

heeseung was right, and you as well, it’s all about timing. from the day you first looked at him in a seminar, to the day he switched to biotech— you plan on asking him why because so far, all your guesses seem implausible— down to the day he confessed, leading up to this moment with you pressing against the lockers and his lips against against yours. heeseung sighs softly, cupping your cheeks and tilting your head to deepen the kiss, and you could feel the heat of his breath against your lips when you pull away just when it was about to get better, avoiding his lips when he leans in to chase yours barely a millisecond later. your eyes shift down to his hand, one that has been injured during the game, and you proceed to hold it carefully, brushing your lips over the bruise lightly before adorning it with feathery kisses as his other hand travels down to your waist once again, pulling you closer. “you should go easy on yourself,”

you whisper the exact same words he had told you a day ago, traversing your eyes back towards him while your gazes have a conversation so foreign, as if it’s only for the silence to understand. and it’s quite literally just the two of you basking in silence as he rests his head against the crook of your neck, planting a few kisses here and there before pulling you even closer, as if you were going to disappear any second. “i think, i’m in love with you,” 

and timing be damned— because heeseung confesses to you once again, and then he’s kissing you once again, slowly, sweetly, in love, and timing doesn’t even matter because every second feels right with him. with the same air of delighted indifference he comes to know well in the gleam of your touch and the curl of your lips, you simply kiss him back as if to say, hate to admit, but i’m in love with you too. and timing really be damned because you hear loud rounds of cheers as you feel his shoulders stiffen. a slight disconnection between you and heeseung makes you wonder if he’s thinking about the results of the game, which is inevitable, but this is about you and him, and nothing else. you hear the notifications from his phone go off, hinting that the match is probably over, and you pull him into another kiss, another round of selfishness guised as an outlet for him to forget about the game, another round of messy make outs, tasting the freedom of ignorance. 

and then you don’t hear from heeseung again.  

V. OBJECT OF ALL DESIRES

days without heeseung feel like they’re forty-eight hours long.

you think it’s a disease or some sort of withdrawal syndrome. this isn’t your first time without him, in fact, you used to do just fine without him in your life until you let him in. at this point, it isn’t even about not being able to see him— heeseung has been absent for almost seven days. you even asked jay about him to see if he has been in contact with any of his teammates but much to your disappointment, he disappeared off the face of earth like he never existed. taehyun has constantly been reminding you to not fret too much, knowing that heeseung gets a little dramatic after losing matches. you can take his word, obviously, a friend from highschool would know heeseung better than a girl who started talking to him normally barely weeks ago, although you couldn’t help but worry about him as seconds passed like water dripping down the tap, disturbing the silence. 

you know how losses feel— like a part of you has been taken out and you’re left to bleed. it’s worse when it’s about something you’ve loved all your life. you’ve walked next to losses, hand in hand. when you know you’ve lost something while having it in the palms of your hands the whole time, the feeling eats you inside. you wonder if heeseung is feeling the same way you think he is, even if he didn’t show it a week ago when you had met him in the clubroom, the feeling starts to sink in when you’re alone amidst the ghosts of nobodies. even though he was smiling and acting like the little shit he is, you felt anger and regret in the way he kissed you. there was a sense of numbness dripping down his fingertips in the way they brushed against your cheeks, cupping your face. you could’ve been a sweet escape— it hurts to admit that the emotions weren’t possibly real, but you couldn’t blame him. 

losing a match, to put it in your words, meant failing in a test; and losing because of an injury, it’s like skipping a test you prepared for, because of fever. except tests can be rescheduled for students who missed— a luxury heeseung, as a basketball player, cannot enjoy. even you couldn’t believe your eyes when the students on the forum started talking about the lost match, all sorts of comments going around, though none targeted at heeseung, fortunately. yet, your first instinct was to dial his number— out of reach, the first thing you hear on the other side of the line, and all you’ve been hearing for days now. 

you had considered cutting ties with him, not literally, but as in stopping to chase him as if he’s the oxygen you inspire. you could’ve showed up at miyeon’s place with apologies, her favourite snacks and a brief explanation of why you did what you did, and everything that has happened as the consequences of your own actions. with weekends approaching, you could’ve planned a two-day trip with her and hanbin before the winter snow made it hard to commute— just anything to get your mind off heeseung, since apparently, you weren’t on his mind either. albeit, you end up doing nothing, no trips, no plans to see miyeon, it’s just you and your bruised heart with soju on the side. your mind is way too cluttered with thoughts about heeseung to focus on studying and at the same time, it’s way too empty to try doing anything else.  

so, you simply venture down the hallways, drowning in all kinds of thoughts, good and bad. you can use the time to study but concentration has been far out of your reach ever since the match, or ever since he went underground, to be more specific. the impromptu make out session was probably his last straw— it makes sense. you kissed someone who had been walked out of a match because of an injury instead of consoling them. you let your feelings get the best of you, making everything about yourself yet again. you won’t be surprised if heeseung decides to ghost you for the rest of his life after that; or maybe, that’s not possible since you see a familiar figure sitting in the outdoor basketball court, spinning the ball with it’s axis on the ground in a directionless manner. 

“heeseung?” you notice his back tense at the sound of you calling his name, head down low as if he’s responding with an exasperated sigh. “where the hell have you been? i’ve been trying to reach you— heck, even your friends haven’t heard a word from you in days,”

“not now, yn, leave me alone,” and an exasperated sigh is what it was. 

“look, i know—”

“just, what part of leaving me alone do you not understand?” you try to speak but heeseung cuts you off just as efficiently as he does other things, with annoyance heavily evident in his words. had it not been heeseung, you would’ve left already, for you have more important things to tend to, and you’re certainly not interested in matters you’re not supposed to be included in, if only it wasn’t heeseung, and if only you weren’t crazily worried for him. 

“oh, i understand it clearly, every part, actually, and i also understand that you’re upset and leaving you alone would certainly not be the best move considering the way you went MIA for a week,” and you understand his impulses about disappearing into thin air, wishing the ground eats him up or for the walls to cave in till he’s entombed in them, but a person as smart as him should know taking out helps better than thinking about wanting to vanish. “we can sit and have a talk if you stop being such an asshole about it. i’m down to listen to—”

“fine, what do you want to hear about?” he cuts you off in annoyances, the ball rolls down to a distance like your heart when you see the unfamiliar emotion in his eyes. “you were right. i went home and have been crying myself to sleep. i haven’t been eating well either. i skipped five out of nine mocks and barely passed the four i gave, let’s add that too. is that enough?” 

you don’t like the way he puts it, as if it’s supposed to make you feel better. maybe about the bet, maybe, since he’s supposed to rank above you in finals to get around dating you, and maybe watching him lose is supposed to offer you some sort of relief— seriously, what you’re feeling right now is far from that. guilt, anger, shame, you’re not unfamiliar with those emotions. they eat you inside and it’s not because you’ve met with defeat, it’s because of falling off all the expectations people had, giving them another reason to point fingers and laugh. you could be really over-reacting, but if you didn’t have your parents telling you it’s going to be fine every time you didn’t do well on tests, you don’t know where you would’ve been right now. and you think you can play a part of the same for heeseung, if not all. 

you sit next to him, nose scrunching at the sight of dust on the cement laid with cracks. that’s what you get with an outdoor court no longer in use. you can see little plantlets germinating from the soil, emerging through the cracks, the rusted ring catches your eye. heeseung huffs as you settle next to him, wondering exactly how long the court has been unused for, considering its lack of maintenance. “let’s date,” 

and your words are not what you were planning to say or what should be said in this situation, but they still manage to extract a response from him. “don’t play with me,” 

“i’m not, in fact, that is what i’ve been wanting to say to you for days. of course, this isn’t the best timing, but i don’t know what else to say,” you pause in what feels like embarrassment. too bad, his crush is not good at conversations. sometimes you end up nodding and blinking for five minutes straight before saying anything, after a person opens up to you with tears and blood. “and, i’m not going to tell you to stop acting like a child or whatever because the team lost such an important match and somewhere, you’re blaming yourself for it, which you shouldn’t, by the way. all i need to say is that you still have the next year to make up for what you’ve lost now,” 

second chances come with higher expectations from people along with words that end up making one feel worse about their situation. you’ve already heard a few students talk about how heeseung should’ve been more ‘careful’— as if it was his choice to get injured and lose the match. you know it wasn’t going to be easy, especially with his injury that probably requires him out of the court for weeks, but you hope that amidst whatever he’s feeling, between self-loath and regret, heeseung manages to find himself once again. 

“actually, i’m planning to drop out of the team next year and focus on studies. my parents were already against me playing basketball during postgrad, i’m finally starting to notice why,” basketball could’ve been his entire career if heeseung’s grandmother had not wished for him to go into the medical field. seeing the insides of a person makes him want to empty his bowel from the mouth so biotechnology was his next option. heeseung thought having two hands would give him the benefit of managing basketball and academics together, unlike how his parents had wished for, but his recent mock scores and lack of time devoted to studies is making him question his choices. “and what the hell were you on about dating, by the way?” 

you’re half immersed in your own thoughts until heeseung directs the question at you— brows furrowed, confusion shadowing his face— you realise it’s your turn to do the talking. “oh, you know, dating. i think we should start dating already, it’s quite inevitable after that day in the clubroom,” 

it is evitable, really, but you’re down bad— with all due respect. 

you haven’t been okay ever since you realised that you like heeseung, and you’ve been trying to act normal about it, attempting to not lose your cool-hard-to-get-girl composure— miyeon’s words, and they make you cringe— while the thought of him is eating your brain slowly and gradually, making you go insane. if you were to narrate from where you opened and closed the door at, it would be a slippery slope, you don’t know how someone ends up falling for the person they despise. the yn from a month or two ago would be knowing, you can see her shrugging and getting back to her books, saying see saw it coming. ( it’s miyeon’s fault for making you even think about having a mind blowing chemistry with heeseung ) the you from two semesters ago, when he first transferred, would hate you and call you a traitor, might even write whore on a mirror while looking at it because you fold at the sight of hot, smart and sporty men who are perfect at everything, even at ruining someone’s life, like he’s ruining yours; and the yn from highschool, you see her squealing on the floor because oh, what a fan of enemies to lovers she was— heeseung wouldn’t even have been in the current picture if your highschool crush slash rival liked you back. the current you, well, she’s a goner, and in denial that she’s a goner. too much pride does something to a person, especially when you’re an over-scorer and an academic weapon. you’ve lost all your abilities of letting your guard down even once, refusing to give up and accept defeat, no matter how tortuous it is on the inside. 

the current you is more like a victorian man looking at ankles for the very first time. 

“and the bet? what happened to it?” he chuckles, of course, anyone would, considering the way you’ve lost after placing the bet with utmost confidence slash overconfidence. see, it never ends well, anything, with overconfidence, it doesn’t end well, never have and never will. and you, you don’t learn, sitting with the very well known fact that if you were given the chance, you would place the bet with him again.  

“ah, i didn’t mean to do that, honestly. i was confused when you confessed, it was so sudden, i didn’t know how to respond. the bet was the best i could come up with,” miyeon was right, you could’ve used something along the lines of ‘i need some time,’ that day instead of pulling out a bet right out of your ass, and now you don’t know how to save face. at least the fact that heeseung confessed first makes you feel a little better about yourself. “c’mon, i know you love challenges. i was just trying to see if it gets you turned on or something,” 

and heeseung scoffs in disbelief, eyeing you at your choice of words. “yeah, i feel very turned on knowing my crush dragged me into a bet that i’ve been working so hard for and she wasn’t even serious about it,” 

“working hard? from what i saw, the only thing you worked hard for was basketball,” you raise your brows, a taunting intonation in your voice. a part of you regrets the choice of words, knowing that basketball is seemingly quite a sensitive topic to bring up at the moment. albeit, the slight fear evaporates off when he laughs and dismisses your words and nothings. 

he leans a little closer, hands touching yours. “you never know what i’m up to at home,” 

a pause; you look in his eyes and then at his lips, he mirrors your actions with a smirk on his face. you guess that there’s a second meaning to his words, not sure what, but the look in his eyes tells you something about it. “i think we should get back to when you were talking mental and i was talking you down,” 

and you could grab his face and kiss him with no one around, on the unmaintained basketball court for the grey and cloudy skies to see. you could run your hands through his hairs and tell him how crazy he makes you while planting kisses down his neck. you can kiss him till both of your lungs are begging for oxygen, and that's when you'd tell him how he makes you feel— breathless and drowning, a little insane every time you see him flirting with someone that's not you. you can kiss him till the sun goes down and evening takes over, it doesn't matter if you're outside for the world to see. you would've kissed him if heeseung hadn't leaned back, looking at the ball lying stray at a distance.

“by the way, i’d love to date you,” he smiles at the infinite horizon before looking at you, as if waiting for a response already known.

“yeah, i figured that,” you try to play it cool as if you’re all knowing. it’s partially true, he did confess to you first. “let’s make another bet: no kissing before finals, and the one who ends up giving in first has to buy dinner,” you come up with yet another bet, your voice hinting the enthusiasm for no apparent reason.  

heeseung squints at you, a little conflicted, quite unsure of your words. it sounds like a moment of deja vu, hopefully on a better note this time ‘round. “that’s not even valid, we made out not even a week ago,” 

“let bygones be bygones, hee,” he likes the sound of the little nickname you've given him, unlike bygones, the word you use to refer to your very first kiss with him as if it's an unfortunate memory. “it’s decided then, no kissing before finals and the loser has to buy dinner, and i won’t be satisfied with anything less than a five star meal,” 

you squint, index finger pointing at him, a challenging composure. another chuckle from him makes it’s way to you, lips curling into a faint smile. it takes you all the way back to the day you placed your first bet with him, with head empty and no logic, for the entirety of the basketball team to see, hear, and talk about it as if it’s supposed to be on the headlines of the national newspaper. your eyes spark up in anticipation, wondering if the two of you are down for another bet, one that doesn’t proceed towards failure, hopefully.

“the last time you did something like this, you ended up running back to me and asking me to date you,” he scoffs softly, side-eyeing you with a mocking gaze, quite ready to pull out the receipts if you ever deny his words. you hate how correct he is, all the time, actually, and you hate how you don’t have words to argue back.

lee heeseung, a nobody to you till he switched to your department, just some student who was there to pass time until he started ranking above you on tests and flipped your whole world upside down. you tried to not think about him and failed every time— still beats you why. you’ve never let distractions get the best of you, but heeseung, perhaps he’s more than just a distraction, or maybe he isn’t a distraction at all. he’s like a plant in your garden that you could care less about— should care less about, it’s growing without harming your plants, but it’s creeping against a wall with pretty flowers for show, and before you know it, it’s demanding for all your attention that you offer without second thoughts, unwillingly at first. 

he’s the bane of your existence and object of all your desires, to put it simply and make it sound cliché. you’ve had your moments trying to run away from him, get him out of your head, annoy him to the point he’d prefer flying to the other side of the globe, or that could be you too, anywhere, far from him. but life, for the thousandth time, is unpredictable. when was the last time something worked out exactly how you had planned— can’t remember, obviously, just like the way you don’t remember when heeseung started occupying a corner of your brain, popping in and out at random times and disrupting your thought process. the more you tried to ignore him, the further he housed in your head, the deeper in your heart, closer, within your reach, as if for you to grab his hands and let him enter your side of the world. 

and so, you kiss him again, pulling him towards you with the collars of his jacket. you feel him smile, a triumphant smile, as expected from someone who is used to winning. you don't think you can say you've lost, not at the way he cups your cheeks and tilts his head to deepen the kiss just moments before you pull away. “i always run back to you, don’t i?” 

and you're a child infatuated with their favourite sport, a painter falling in love with strokes, a pianist dancing to the melody of rachmaninoff, a student addicted to getting a perfect score, a player addicted to winning. you trace back to things you like, you always run back to heeseung,

and you always would. 

TEN MINUTES LATER :

heeseung plants a soft peck on your lips. “dinner’s on you,” 

“fuck!” 

[qiwoomi]

You just finished watching a movie, now making it your mission to find your missing boyfriend. Or in other word, to bug him.

It didn't took you so long however, the partly closed door of his study room showcasing how focused he is.

Making your way to him, you silently sneak behind him before covering his eyes, startling him. "Guess who it is?" You asked, as if it isn't obvious. Your boyfriend played along to your little joke, "Hmm... I don't know? Are you mine?" He grinned.

You flushed, removing your hand immediately as he spins his chair to face you. He opened his arms, gesturing for you to embrace him in a hug. There was a pregnant pause as both of you stayed in each other's embrace, basking in the comfort and warmth after being busy with your personal life.

This time, he returns to face his desk, continuing wherever he left off as if he didn't have a human just casually sitting in his lap, trapped by his arms. You stared at him, admiring his beautiful features.

Feeling your lingering eyes on him, "Y/n." he whined, averting you from your already wandering mind. You raised your brow at him, as if mumbling a 'Hm?' with a smile that he wished to see every time.

"...I can't focus. When you do that." He stated, looking down at you.

"Do what?"

"That." He poked your nose with his pen, your nose crinkling at the gesture. "Stop looking at me like you're in love or something. There's literally hearts in your eyes." He rambled, as you just laugh at him.

"...But I am? Is that supposed to be a problem?"

He just sighed, giving up. Now melting in his seat as if he's an ice cube and you're the heat... "If I'm failing this exam, it's going to be your fault."

You decided to ignore him, staring at him with eyes full of admiration and love. If this isn't being in love, then you don't know what it is.

His cheeks only reddened, now hiding his face from you. "Love, please."

albedo, alhaitham, childe, ayato, kazuha & diluc <3

est. 250423

© @qiwoomi

do not copy, translate and repost my work.

[periprose]

Playstation Spidey is sooo blorbo- I love himmm. May I request something where Pete and Reader have been too preoccupied with studying and taking exams all week that when their date arrives on Saturday, they don't do anything but makeout instead cause they miss each other so much?🥲 (I just wish I had a Peter Parker to kiss😔)

I love him too and this idea is just 🤌🤌. I hope it's okay I made this a friends to lovers instead? :)

Your phone buzzes with a new message from Peter.

Peter: hey we still good for Saturday? the study date at the library?

Peter: sorry for not picking up earlier. Phys 403 is kicking my ass 🥹

You giggle to yourself. Peter had been so excited to see you this week- he was terribly busy with internships and FEAST and every single exam that was assigned this week.

You had half the workload he did, and you struggled to finish things, so you had no idea how he did it. It was quite irritating, not being able to catch up with Peter as often as you'd like, but you were hanging on for Saturday.

Even now- he strangely missed your calls and would usually pick up ASAP- and May's told you he's not at FEAST, so it's really confusing to you where he'd be. But you're not concerned, because you have exams to study for.

You: Yea we're still good pete

You: don't stress about it. worry about your exam

Peter: 🫡 will do ma'am

You laugh, picturing Peter saluting to himself.

/

The timer for your Shakespeare exam just rings as you hand it in to your professor, who gives you a firm, steely nod. You know how strict he is- he doesn't always allow for students to hand in things after the time's up, and even as you leave the classroom, you hear students pleading with him to let them hand in their exams.

You shrug to yourself, and turn the corner of one of the many hallways of Empire State University- bumping straight into Peter.

"Oh-!" You topple over, and although at your trajectory in the air you should've fallen over Peter, he somehow has enough strength to keep you upright in the air, holding you gently by the waist, and before you can think too much about his surprisingly strong capabilities, he's set you down again already.

"All good?" Peter asks, and you nod bashfully.

"Yeah. Just finished my Shakespeare exam. Not sure if I did all that well." You tell him, and Peter raises his eyebrows.

"With Strict Dr. Powell, huh?" Peter gives a wary glance past your shoulder, and then leans in extra close, seemingly not noticing how you fail to maintain eye contact. "Just between you and me, I'm pretty sure he's not actually tenured."

"What?" You stare up at him in surprise. "How else would he be qualified to teach a fourth year English course?"

"Well, let's just say I did a little sleuthing after getting a C- on my last essay. I know, I know what you're going to say-" Peter shushes you as you laugh, taunting him about an unusually low grade. "It was on Asimov, you know? Father of Science Fiction?"

"I think that was H.G. Wells, Pete."

"Right, whatever." But Peter's features bristle with that familiar fondness for you, and you smile softly at him as he continues. "I knew even if my essay wasn't perfect, a C- was really lowballing what it should've been. So I searched some of the school records, and he's actually named Powalski. ESU's letting him stay tenured even though he's only been a professor for five years. My guess is that they owe him some kind of favour."

"And that's why our poor student body has to worry about failing English classes this year, when they should be easy. Because of one crazy professor." You surmise, and Peter nods. "Still, I can't believe you went through the school records! How did you even access them?"

"Uhhhh..." Peter shrugs as he starts backing away, a slightly flustered look on his face. "Parker luck?"

"Peter, I thought that was supposed to mean bad luck." You retort, laughing over his antics.

"Yeah, I never said I wasn't in hot water for doing that." Peter jokes, and he flashes a peace sign at you. "I gotta head to my Physics exam. Talk to you later?"

Before you can respond, Peter suddenly squeezes your shoulder in a quick move, and he takes a moment, staring at your face, and your mouth, before dashing off. "I'm sure you did great on your exam, regardless!"

"Thanks." You're left with a sheepish smile that you shake off your face when Peter's far in the distance, unaware that he's got the same expression on his face.

/

Peter's kind of struggling a little bit with physics.

Sure, he's a total brainiac, and he's sure to ace it even with his current mood- he's just terribly distracted.

You smelt really good today. Like warm, vanilla-cinnamon goodness. Peter's heightened senses tell him you've got a new perfume.

But he's more focusing on your lips for some reason. Ugh, no. Peter knows why he focuses so much on your lips- you just happen to smile in the cutest, sweetest way.

And just now- you had laughed in the funniest way, your lips curling into a pout that Peter was sure was seared into his mind for good.

Oh, no. I'm a total goner. He gets back to his exam, ignoring this urge to kiss you.

/

There's a knock at your apartment door just as you're finishing tidying up. Your living room tends to be pretty ugly, and the last thing you want is for Peter to think you're a slob.

Peter calls your name through the door. "I'm not going to think you're anymore messy than I am. Stop cleaning! We gotta leave soon if we want to make it for our allotted study room time, and I just need to use the bathroom."

You shake your head, give yourself one last glance in the mirror, and then open the door.

"Finally. God, dude, you would think your apartment is a pigsty or something. I'm only going to be in here for five minutes." Peter jokes. "You would hate to see mine."

"Is that why you've never invited me there?"

"Uh, yeah. Otherwise you could crash whenever you wanted to there." Peter suddenly turns red. "I mean... you know, you're always tired after class and your apartment is further away from ESU than mine is."

"It's fine, Peter. No need for rambling." You reach forward, wanting to take the books out of his hands- you notice a slight scar on his palm. "Hey, what's that?"

"Ah, just an accident at Octavius' place. No big deal, it'll be gone before I know it." Peter randomly opens a door. "This the bathroom? No, it's a closet. Darn these misleading doors..."

"Down the hall, to the right, Peter."

He nods, and you suddenly feel a wave of giddy energy as he's gone. Yes, you've crushed on Peter for a while- you just don't think it's going to go anywhere since you're both so busy.

You're reapplying your lip balm when Peter wanders back to you a couple minutes later.

"Ah, should we go?" You say, slightly muffled as you continue reapplying. It's a delicious honeydew flavour- you can't help but eat your lip balm off your lips from time to time.

"Yeah..." Peter struggles to say something, anything, and you catch his eyes drifting from yours, to your lips.

"Is something wrong?" You look up at him uncertainly. "There wasn't enough toilet paper, was there?"

"Shoot. Might've used the last bit, sorry." Peter jokes, but he turns quiet, and he grows a little pink.

"Well, if that's all, let's get going." You put your lip balm back in your pocket, and move to get your coat out of the closet, but Peter grabs your arm with that too-quick motion he always seems to possess.

Peter wordlessly cradles your face- there's something echoing through his expression right now, affection, the kind, softness you've always known him to possess, but something else, too. Yearning.

You can't help but smile up slightly confused at him, not sure of his intentions, and while you're not stupid, you're not going to assume anything.

Peter doesn't hesitate and simply leans in and kisses you, a soft kiss that turns a lot more firm as you're pulled inwards by his hands, and you eagerly kiss him back, and you feel him grinning widely when he knows that you've wanted this as much as he had.

It's easy, it's always fun when it's with you, and he figures you both need stress relief anyways. Rather than studying chemistry in the library.

You reach upwards, and run your fingers through his brown, soft hair, and Peter groans ever so slightly against your mouth, which pleases you.

Suddenly he lets go, deeply red and looking a little woozy, but he still holds you close. "Sorry, I- I got a little carried away there."

"Don't be sorry. I wanted to do that too." You admit, a little shyly. "Are you okay with not studying?"

"Really? That's what's on your mind?" Peter looks genuinely a little aghast, even if he is joking. "I must've not kissed you hard enough."

Peter brings you to your couch, where you kiss him again, taking the lead in a way that makes his stomach flip-flop, not dissimilar to the way he feels when he free-falls off a building. You clamber onto his lap, trying to be gentle- and he pulls you down fully on him, wanting to feel every inch, every millimeter, even, against his body. There's an excited thump in his body for every squeeze he makes against you, and he feels his restraint leaving him when you suddenly sweep your tongue into his mouth.

Even when you leave room for air, Peter is insistent, reaching forward with more little kisses all over your cheek, and you reach back again for him, pressing your lips against his, feeling like there's no need to ruin this time with talking.

He really likes that. These are precious moments, few to be found considering how busy you both are, and Peter intends to make the most of it.

[lovelycassy]

Ok hear me out, a Lorenzo Berkshire imagine where him and the reader are dating and she gets hurt during a girl day with pansy 😌

Hexed

Summary: Ever since you and Lorenzo started dating a week ago, you noticed a certain slytherin who always seems to be glaring at you. It only took some time before they take action against you.

Pairing: Lorenzo/Enzo x fem!reader

House: any

Blood status: pureblood

Word count: 1,588

Warning(s) : some violence, a lil cursing, a kissing scene that’s barely there, pet names (love & darling), not proofread, lmk if I missed anything!

a/n: I am so sorry anon I didn't check my ask box for a rlly long time so I didn't notice that I already had requests 😭 I hope you didn’t wait that long but here it is though. btw this is my first fic so pls bear with me if its cringy I'm trying

Also forgive me if pansy, lorenzo and Daphne are not so in character these are just how I imagine their personalities are

----------------------------------------------

It was a sunny friday afternoon and you were going to your last class of the day. You were thinking of what you were going to do the next day when you heard someone call your name from behind.

"Y/n!" they called. You turned around and saw your best friend Pansy running down the hallway.

"Yes?" You answered

Pansy caught her breath before she asked, "Do you have any plans for tomorrow afternoon?"

"not much, just going to stay in my dorm all day I guess, why?"

"I was thinking that we should have a girl's day, you know just the two of us, shopping at hogsmeade. Since our NEWTS are coming up and I know its gonna take a lot of our time, tomorrow is the perfect time for us to hang out before we have to stress about our exams. So, what do you say?" She said, with her eyes almost looking like she’s pleading for you to say yes.

You thought for a while. You didn't have anything else to do aside from sleeping and staying in your bed all day anyway. You also finished all your homework yesterday, you just need to hope that your last professor gives mercy on all of you students and lets you go without any homework.

"Okay sure, I need a break from school anyway." You finally answered.

"Great! Let's meet at the great hall at 9am, sound good?"

"Yep, see you tomorrow Pans!"

"Bye!"

----------------------------------------------

"Thank god we don't have any homework assigned today" you muttered as you entered the slytherin common room, heading to your boyfriend's dorm.

You knocked 3 times before you heard someone answer from inside;

"Who is it?“ Lorenzo shouted

"It's just me" you answered

"Oh alright, the door's open"

You entered and saw him sitting on his bed, reading a book. He already changed out of his robes and wore some comfy clothes.

He looked up from his book the second you entered the room.

"Hey darling, how's your day?" He asked

"Tiring, how's yours?" You said while taking off your robe and putting it on the coat rack

"It's alright, if you exclude the fact that seamus almost set the classroom and everyone in it on fire in potions."

"Wow, that bad?"

"Yeah, luckily snape was there. But of course he had to take points off Gryffindor because of the chaos Seamus created."

By now you had already changed into some comfortable clothes and was climbing in bed "But everyone was okay, right?"

"Of course, but enough about my day. Tell me what happened to yours?" He said, while cuddling you putting you on top of him

"Well pansy came to me a few hours ago, asking me to go on a girl's day with her tomorrow at hogsmeade. Since our exams are coming up she wants to hangout before we all get busy studying."

"And what did you answer her?"

"I said yes of course she's my best friend"

"I thought you said we're going to spend the whole day together tomorrow?" He looked down at you with a pouty face

"I said on sunday, love"

"No you definitely said Saturday"

"I'm pretty sure I said sunday"

"Fine you did"

"I promise you on sunday I'm all yours, okay? No one is going to disturb us."

"Alright fine"

Before you could say anything else he suddenly flipped both of you and he was on top of you

“Love what are you trying to do right now?”

“What I’ve wanted to do since classes ended”

Then you felt his lips on yours

----------------------------------------------

You were roughly making out for about 5 minutes now when you both heard a knock on the door.

"You lovebirds done? Its nearly dinner already so stop making out and let's go to the great hall." Theo groaned from the other side of the door.

"Okay okay we're coming" you said fixing yourself up

"Cmon lets just stay behind they won't even mind" Enzo complained

"Sorry love but as a human being I also need food plus I'm starving" you were walking to the door when you turned around and saw him on the bed with a pouting like face

"We could continue after dinner." You said with a smirk

That made him run to the great hall.

*timeskip to the next day*

You and Pansy have been shopping for almost 2 hours now. You suggested you guys eat lunch first before continuing your shopping spree

Once you guys were finished, you were both deciding the next store you were going to when you saw a certain slytherin walking towards you with her gang. The one who has been rude to you since you and Lorenzo started dating, Daphne Greengrass. Let’s pretend she didn’t like theodore and liked lor

It was no secret to the whole school that she liked him. She practically did everything to make him notice her. Yet Lorenzo still chose you, and that made her blood boil.

"What's she doing here?" You whispered to Pansy

Pansy just shrugged

"Well well well, look who we have here, its lorenzo’s little girlfriend, L/n " Daphne said with a smirk (IM INTERNALLY CRINGING RN)

“Hello Greengrass, what brings you to hogsmeade on this lovely day?”

“Oh nothing, I just heard you and parkinson over there talking about how you’re going to spend your boyfriend’s money on a shopping spree. Does enzo even know you’re spending his money?” She said as she strode a little more closer to you

You can’t start a fight, or else some professor might pass by and punish you both by taking away house points that won’t be enough to win the house cup

You took a deep breath before answering her, “actually Greengrass, the money I’m spending right now is my monthly allowance from my parents. Now if you would excuse us, we would like to get back to our shopping.”

You tried to get past her before she blocked you and pansy’s way

“Not so fast l/n, that’s not what I came here for.”

“What is it then Greengrass?” You were starting to get annoyed

By now you were standing at arm’s length from her

“I came here because I wanted to remind you something.”

Suddenly she pushed you to the ground

“What the hell are you doing!” Pansy shouted, while trying to break free from Tracey Davis, one of Daphne’s closest friends

“Telling L/n here to stay away from what’s mine” daphne said, pointing her wand at you

Right now you were terrified of what might happen

“What the hell do you mean by staying away from what’s yours-“

“I meant staying away from Lorenzo you bitch!”

“We were friends since we were babies! We were meant for each other until you came and took him away from me!” She shouted

“So right now I’m going to take revenge on what you’ve done, stupefy!”

With that you flew and landed your back on a wall, you felt yourself getting dizzy with dark spots covering your vision. You heard Pansy run to you calling your name before everything went black

----------------------------------------------

You woke up from a shine of light coming through your eyelids (does that make sense?), with a slight pounding in your head. You squinted your eyes a bit to get a better view to know where you were, it took a while before coming to a realization that you were in the hospital wing

You felt something or someone holding your hand, and you turned to see your boyfriend, Enzo, sleeping on a chair beside your bed holding your hand.

“Love, wake up,” you said, gently shaking the hand wrapped around yours.

You saw him fluttering his eyes a bit before looking at you with wide eyes.

“Oh my god you’re awake- hold on for a minute I need to get madam pomfrey.”

He rushed out of the hospital wing and returned with her not even 2 minutes later.

“Hello dear, how are you feeling?” Madam pomfrey asked with a gentle smile.

You looked at her and said, “my head hurts a bit, but may I ask what happened?”

“You must’ve forgotten because of how hard you hit your head yesterday.”

Hit your head? What happened? You thought for a while before all the events came back to your head. Daphne greengrass hexed you.

“Oh” was all you could say.

“Well dear once the pain in your head fades you are free to go anytime,” And with that madam pomfrey left.

You turned to look at your boyfriend and he looked at you with concerned eyes

“Um” he started “I heard from Blaise what Daphne has done to you, he was walking in hogsmeade when he saw Pansy trying to drag you back to the castle. I’m really sorry that-“

“It’s not your fault love” you cut him off

“No it partly is, I should’ve made it clear it Daphne that we weren’t going to work out if we ever got together. I guess I kind of led her on before I asked you out.”

“Well even if you say it is, you weren’t the one who hexed me.”

“Alright but I’m going to stay by your side all the time now, wherever you go I’m always gonna be there”

“Even during girl’s day??” you asked with a fake shocked face

“Even during girl’s day.” He said with a grin

“Noooo”

“Just kidding love, but still just in case so you won’t end up in the hospital wing again.”

----------------------------------------------

I’m not really satisfied with the ending, I might redo it once I think of a better one. But anyways I hope you guys enjoyed! :)

[jahnavisurenda-21]

Hazbin Hotel||Alastor X Reader||Stress Relief

Take a deep breath, before you yell at some poor face who just happens to have the misfortune to walking in to one of your days, where everything seems to be going south.

This seemed to have taken one of the most bizarre turns you could have ever imagined, you had no idea why you had agreed to such a trivial, petty matter.

Oh! Now you remember it was Charlie, who had clasped your hand looked at you with the doe eyes which reminded you of some of the Korean shows you watched as a teen and young adult.

You would admire the eye makeup, the most because once your dad who had been a makeup artist had told his philosophy of makeup to look absolutely flawless, the eyes and lips should be standing out the most.

Totally irrelevant, you didn't understand the point of recalling this faint memory of your dad. You wished you could just go back to your suburban house, in the mountainside feel the spring flowers touch your skin again, you can't believe you once hated them.

Well, you always, miss what you once never cherished and lost.

"Coming this far, can't believe all the messed-up hotel mess is on Y/n." Angel dust once told Alastor, "The civil examinations study there and study even after your dead!"

"A what now?" Alastor questioned, "Oh! you didn't know? Not very bad now, are you?" Niffty asked, climbing on Alastor.

"What exams?" Alastor had asked once again, pushing Niffty from his shoulder,

"You always are the last person to know about anything are you? Don't you have like special powers or something which you can spy on anyone?"

Alastor looked at them like he was just about to lose his smiling grin, but of course smile is the best makeup.

"So, you know right Heaven is facing some economical crisis they spent so much time providing the 'perfect after life' guess the angels forgot money doesn't exactly grow on trees." Angel said sarcastically. But some hints of satisfaction could be made out.

"How exactly is this related to Y/n now?"

"You seriously don't know anything." Vaggie interjected, "When you had mysteriously run of in one of your 'expeditions' Adam the asshole came to the hotel, not for the execution apparently in the weekly magazine or something in heaven there was about a mysterious economist, or a business manager who was really good at managing expenses and could stabilize the afterlife."

"Well that turned out nicely did it not?"

"Ugh!" Vaggie hit her head, "No you egocentric, piece of shi--"

"Don't try that with me." Alastor warned,

"Yeah yeah she's really good." Angel finished, "It was tracked to Y/n, now heaven knows that Y/n is still choosing to be in hell, Now they want her there in heaven."

"To help them manage there life."

"Y/n has to write a civil exam the hardest one, or else they would attack the hotel."

"Well they don't know who they are messing with."

You sniffled, "Can't do this anymore." You murmured, "Want to die."

"Now my dear, is that a word you should use when you are literally saving the hotel?" Alastor appeared like the shadow, like always.

"Alastor?" You slowly poked your head from the blanket, "Why dear you're a mess!" Alastor said moving next to you on the bed,

"Can I put my head on your lap?" You asked, he nodded cheerfully.

"So why did you agree to this my dear?"

"I didn't want to fail everyone the extermination is already scheduled earlier than expected I didn't want to crush Charlie's dream."

"You're working really hard, without sleeping, isn't that concerning? It's concerning me."

"Thank god your here!" You said,

Alastor put a hand on your tear-stained cheeks.

"It's time for a little rest. Dear."

"I can't the exam is in three more days I think, I don't know how time works in hell."

"If That Adam guy keeps bothering you, I'll just remind him why I am here."

You laughed, "I'm sure you will."

You kissed his cheek, "Thank you."

"Never forget to smile my dear, and now take care."

He switched of the lights, and saw you instantly hold him close before cuddling up to him, he really knew how to make you loosen up a bit.

[uvuii]

still @uvuii works

꒰ genre. ꒱ ۪ park sunghoon + femreader ⌇ ⌗written 0.4k : onesided enemies? -> short.

life could not possibly be worse than it was right now.

Seated in a cafe not far from your apartment, the lengthy math exam you were taking seemed to be going genuinely well, before a battery notification popped up on your screen midway through, reminding you to charge the device.

After glaring around the coffee shop and not spotting a single outlet, you would be surprised if they were put into business without installing any. To confirm, you asked an employee at the counter if they had any usable outlets in the shop. The girl nodded, before motioning to the bar seats by the windows, where the crazy attractive man you eyed when you first walked in sat. She explained how those two seats were where the only outlet they had available was located.

no problem, except for the fact that you now had to explain to the handsome stranger, who was staring at you blankly, (seeing as you interrupted his own studies) why you needed to use the outlet he was seated directly in front of. It was even worse that he had his own papers and books spread on the table already, seemingly lost deep in his research. You fully expected him to turn you away, his dark eyes glaring holes into your nervous figure.

Feeling in your bones how awkward the interaction already was, you were surprised when he nodded almost understandingly, eyes lingering over you for a few moments still, before shuffling his stuff over to the side. Taking the seat next to him, you tried your hardest to surface the tinge of blush rising to your cheeks, caused by the strangers wandering eyes.

You were happy when you were finally able to charge your laptop, feeling the wave of relief washing over you when the familiar charging battery icon popped up on the screen. However, the dark haired man sitting next to you replaced that newly found relief with intimidation when he suddenly spoke up to you.

“what’s the big exam on?”

Unknowingly to you, he had been eyeing your screen ever since you came over.

“math.” You answered him, blankly, before asking “you wouldn’t happen to know anything about geometry that could help me right now, would you?”

your unserious comment made the stranger next to you lightly laugh, his pretty brown eyes squinting before speaking again. “sorry, can’t help you with that one.”

Regaining a bit of confidence from making the hot stranger laugh, you giggled yourself, before apologizing for the intrusion. “I’ll be out if your way in twenty minutes max, just need to finish this exam.” your rushed sentences made the man sitting next to you smirk to himself,

“you could stay awhile i guess.”

[matthyeu]

tim hortons ― smt.

pairing ⇢ seok matthew x gn!reader

genre ⇢ comedy, fluff

warnings ⇢ this was just self-indulgence as you will see </3, mentions of a car crash but nothing happened lol

word count ⇢ 1377

synopsis ⇢ this is how matthew's life would be if he didn't get 3rd place on boy's planet. hey, at least he met you.

notes ⇢ HEYYY GUESS WHOS BACK,,, well not really i’m just like popping back in after the comeback bc like WOWWW but hi i’ve been really stressed back in school doing a lot of exams and applications for nursing school. i just finished my teas and like the semester’s almost over so i’m so STRESSED AAAAAA and this has been in my drafts for so long bc yk i’m just manifesting myself getting into nursing school but i will def try to get more uploaded soon but i’m always tired from work and school eueueu got some drafts tho so i’m hoping to get that done soon. take care!!

perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to get an early start to studying for your pharmacology exam. not, it definitely wasn’t the best idea. every professor had always told you to review and study more than you thought you needed, so you tried your best to do just that. it was just that one confused topic led to another…and then to another until you realized it was nearing two. 

late nights were no stranger for a nursing student, but they were not recommended if you had plans for the morning after, especially if the morning after was your weekly 12-hour long clinical rotation. 

that was how you ended up with two and a half hours of sleep, a frantically thrown together lunch, missing materials, and a need for caffeine after you overslept your alarm by twenty minutes. you cursed your ability to sleep through alarms but also thanked yourself for setting alarms every five minutes in case this ever happened. 

the facility you were stationed at was a little over an hour from your apartment, so you would barely make it in time. there was realistically no time for you to stop by for coffee. usually, you would just make your own, but your unfortunate luck continued to prosper as you had forgotten to purchase more instant coffee in your last grocery run. however, seeing as how you nearly fell asleep behind the wheel the first ten minutes of your drive, you knew you needed it. if you died in a car crash, there was definitely no chance for you to make it to your clinical on time. 

you pulled into the parking lot at the tim hortons nearest to your apartment, seeing only one other car there who you assumed belonged to whatever employee was on opening duty. it was only 4:43. this location opened at 5. if you waited for it to open, you would definitely be late. even if you had just told yourself it was alright to be late, you were sure your instructor would not be pleased if you were, especially since this was an obstacle you could potentially get over. 

reluctantly, you shuffled your feet to the entrance, not worrying if you would wear the soles of your white shoes quicker than they were supposed to last. you didn’t want to bother the poor worker, but it was your only choice besides sitting in your car waiting for 17 minutes, which was definitely not practical. 

reaching the entrance, you peered in to see a young man diligently preparing for the day. you figured he would be far too busy to notice you (or it was just your excuse to walk back to your car and wait). still, mustered up the courage to wave at him from outside, refraining from knocking on the glass. 

by some dumb luck, he noticed you and came to the door from around the counter. he gave an apologetic smile as he opened the door, popping his head out. “sorry, we aren’t open yet.”

“actually, i was wondering if you could make an exception. i have to be at the hospital in an hour and it’s an hour drive from here,” you explained as you fidgeted with your watch. 

“oh definitely i can do that for you. that hospital must need you as soon as you can get there,” he commented as he opened the door wider for you to come in.

“oh no, they do not need me. yesterday i put on my sterile gloves wrong 4 times because of nervousness. if anything, they hope i’m not there,” you casually blurted out, which caused the employee to give you a concerned look. “i’m a nursing student, not a licensed healthcare provider. everyone always thinks of nurse or doctor when they see someone in scrubs, but i’m just a stressed person in college trying to get through.” 

“ah, makes sense. i thought you looked young to be finished with school already, but i didn’t want to say anything in case it was offensive,” he commented once you both were at the register, “what can i get for you?” 

“just a medium iced latte please,” you ordered as you dug through your wallet for the right card. 

“go ahead and insert your card whenever you’re ready.” 

and you did just that, receiving the receipt from the employee once the transaction was over. “it will be out shortly.” 

there wasn’t much for you to do but stand off to the side as you watched him work. as time went by, there was something familiar about him you couldn’t catch. it was as if you had seen him from somewhere, but the only places you really frequented were the library and hospitals. was it from tv? 

“here you go,” he announced as he slid the cup over the counter. 

as he was about to head back to finishing his preparations, you took a sip of your latte. with the newfound courage taken over you by the caffeine, your thoughts spilled out of your mouth. “do i know you from somewhere?” 

he chucked. “no, i don’t think you have. if so, it was a long time ago since i just got back to canada.”  

“you have a celebrity lookalike or something? i swear i’ve seen your face somewhere before,” you asked. 

“ever heard of boys planet?” 

then it hit you. you looked at his nametag. matthew. of course, he was the canadian from that korean reality show one of your friends had shown you. in fact, she begged for you to help her vote, and she was devastated when her one-pick didn’t make the group. and here he was, standing in front of you at tim hortons. 

“ohhh that makes a lot of sense. my friend had me voting every day for you when the show was airing. interesting seeing you working here. totally thought you’d continue trying to be an idol if you didn’t make the lineup.” 

“i missed home too much, i guess. i had it planned out during the finale too, the part time job i’d get if i didn’t make it. didn’t think i’d actually end up at timmies, but alas, things happen. thanks for your support though.” 

“don’t thank me,” you insisted, “i’m just an unsuspecting victim to desperate fans who wanted the best for their faves.” 

“i think that’s the best feeling though, meeting someone who doesn’t really care about what you’ve done or who you are. you’re the first person who’s actually recognized me, and i’m glad it’s not someone who would leak this information. though, i’m sure it will spread eventually.” 

you finally noticed what he was doing throughout the conversation: packaging a 10-count box of timbits. “here,” he called as he pushed yet another item over the counter, “on the house.” 

shaking your head, you quickly responded, “no i can’t.” 

“trust me, you’re going to need the boost of energy from the sugar for your shift. just take it, or else you’ll be late.” 

“oh shit,” you cursed, realizing you had spent too much time in the shop already, “fine, but i’ll be back and next time, i’m going to buy something for you to enjoy.” 

“mhm good luck!” 

you ran back to your car, relieved you decided to come in when you did when you saw a plethora of cars pulling in with two minutes until opening. the coffee was placed into the cupholder and the box onto your passenger seat. 

before beginning your long drive to your impending doom, you decided to have one of the timbits matthew had given you. that was when you noticed the small message written on the top of the box. 

good luck! you’re doing great things for the world :) come back anytime! i always open on fridays and will take you after 4:30. 

you smiled at the little note, popping one of the pieces into your mouth. it tasted way better than timbit you had ever had. you weren’t sure if that was just because they were fresh in the morning or the care you knew was packed into them. needless to say, you would wake up a little earlier on your fridays to go back to this location to see matthew. 

[tartrat]

Kapyy is going out tonight, he’s on his vigilante shit.

This is the most cursed thing I’ve made and that includes an abstract painting of an amethyst I made over Easter break. The sketch with the basic idea and more thoughts and headcanons below I guess.

Firstly don’t look at the mouth too much, the teeth were annoying me. I seem to do like a simplistic style for people and not going overly detailed on their features when i put effort in. For my A level final piece, a self portrait, i sort of made my eyes mouth and nose less deatailed but you can still tell that it’s a face and so it looks kinda good. Honestly this piece looks better than i thought it would, i sort of panic when making art but i can make stuff look good when i put effort in, see the other canvas paintings I’ve posted here.

I started this on the 3rd of August and finished on the 10th.

As seen with my last post i hated doing those rhinestones and tassels but they ended up looking kinda good. I did the hair the same way i did the hair in my previous posts. I used the same brushes as well, custom watercolour and glitter brushes and the procreate turpentine brush to blend. I have a lot of process pics of me working on the colouring that look cursed that i kinda want to do a photo dump on. I also used the chromatic abbreviation filter on procreate to create a subtle glow around him.

Also i decided to put a signature on it, something that i keep forgetting to do on other pieces I’ve made. (Well for school i put my name on the back of my canvases, by the end of the year i had like eight canvases and by sketchbooks)

I had what i like to call a glee-lapse where i started re-listening to a bunch of glee covers, specifically: Nasty/Rhythm Nation, The Boy Is Mine, Start Me Up/Livin’ On A Prayer, and Don’t Start Believing. Other songs i listened to include, Ldn By Lily Allen, Black Magic by Little Mix, Take Me to Church by Hozier, Bella’s Lullaby from Twilight, Touch-Tone Telephone by Lemon Demon, American Healthcare by Penelope Scott, Grace Kelly by Mika, Misery Business by Paramore, Coney Island, My Tears Ricochet, Better than Revenge, So Long London, But Daddy I Love Him, I look in Peoples Windows, Down Bad and the song this is based off of, Vigilante Shit all by Taylor Swift. I was at the Eras tour in Dublin in June which ended my A-levels exams. I also got the signed midnights blood moon vinyl for Christmas in 2022, then i put a st brigid’s cross i made on it and my mum thought it was a photo of Jesus when she saw it hanging on my wall.

The just dance wiki seems to have argued over who Kapyy’s performer is. Like he’s performed by someone, there is a kinda unnerving behind the scenes photo of him, like has he just escaped into our reality like Layl and Gabriela have. Where did that behind the scenes pic come from?

Headcanons I’ve been developing. So still going off the whole Kapyy and Talia are twins, they both have ADHD. This comes from me possibly having undiagnosed adhd that is manifesting as anxiety so yay. It’s also just came to me that since i said that their dad should be from Cyber funk that he should be the Blinding lights extreme coach. Basically Blinding lights extreme and Giddy on Up take place round about the same time so BLE meets GOU whilst he visits Wasterra, they fall in love, eventually get married and have twins, Kapyy is ultimately kidnapped at birth leaving Talia unaware that she has a twin until she unknowingly meets him shortly after the events of I Knew You Were trouble. The GOU and BLE coaches were popular performers of their time and teach performing arts classes art a university now, with Talia studying English literature and language, and Kapyy being an Art student who performs on the side (So basically I’m Blue extreme), as in he gets paid for performing but he masks he actual feelings, whilst Talia would actually show her emotions through her ability to control tvs.

Other headcanons include, when Kapyy isn’t doing too great the Levitating Extreme coach has to bring him home and make sure he’s ok. Kapyy and Talia are basically Dipper and Mabel from Gravity Falls sorta, Talia is dipper and Kapyy is Mabel, like how they ground each other. Both of them are also double jointed (obviously their performers most likely aren’t). That’s about it so far.

I also think that i alienated the two people on twitter who follow me for yo kai watch by just posting just dance fanart there, luckily there is the Yo kai watch Just Dance Game, when my worlds collide, so i want to do more yo kai watch fanart. I have an idea for a yo kai watch x just dance fanart, kapyy may or may not be involved ion that.

That’s about it, i feel fuzzy again like I’m excited and nervous to post.

As for where Kapyy got the bodysuit from, well…

Bonus doodle:

[gettinshiggywithit]

!Highschool AU chuuya x reader whose best friend lied to them!

pairing:- chuuya x gn!reader

scenario:- chuuya comforts his s/o when they find out their best friend lied to them.

genre:-comfort/fluff

type:- oneshot A/N:- Hi hi!this is just a vent piece mostly but i hope its perhaps a little relatable? im tryna put some stuff out while i write the requests i have! so this is a few weeks old~

It was the day before your business studies exam and you’d scheduled a study session at your house with your best guy friend turned boyfriend;chuuya nakahara

(Also i hc him havin the subject combo of business studies,economics and physics)

Buddy was ready to get down to business! He’d bought along some of your favorite drinks and snacks and after saying hi to your parents,who absolutely adored him, he headed to your room.

He knocked on your door and was met with sniffles.

This set off sirens in his head but he thought he knew what the root cause of this could be.

He slowly opens to door and sets the snacks,drinks, and his notes down before joining you at your spot on the floor.

He wordlessly wraps you in a hug which startles you for a second before you realize its him.

But once you do,you pull him closer and it makes you cry just a little harder,your cries muffled by his hoodie.

He slowly begins to rub your back in an attempt to calm you down while whispers sweet nothings in your ear.

Once you calm down enough you look up at him and exhale.

“Sorry...”

“Nope. Dont be...now,you wanna talk about it?”

He always knew how to respond and it was honestly always such a relief.

You knew he’d never offer to help if he didnt want to and when he did he always meant it.(and he’d make a little mental note to be there for you no matter what,because you’d always done the same for him)

But once you nodded and opened your mouth to speak,the reasoning behind your current state wasn’t at all what he’d imagined.

“F/N lied...”

*insert confused gingi boi*

You noticed his look of confusion and began your explanation.

To be quite frank,Your best friend,whom youd known since elementary, had lied to you and it all seemed to be over a boy.

Chuuya was honestly dumbstruck.this was the girl who’d been there for you even before he knew you,

and she also happened to be the one who’d introduced the two of you...

And what was even stranger was how this seemed to uncharacteristic of her...she wasnt the type to go after boys and had always been focused on her studies.and the thing that kinda pissed chuuya off was that the boy in question wasn’t even that great a guy.he was a nice enough kid sure,but he wasn’t great...and certainly nowhere near her standard...

After you finished your explanation you looked to him for his verdict before saying your final statement,

“...and im not sure if im overreacting or not because sure its just a small thing but the fact is that she lied when id have been okay if she just told me the truth...i dont know Chuu....this all just hurts i guess...and this plus the paper tomorrow has me so fucking drained!”

You groaned in frustration and he saw this as his opening to step in.

“Okay first of all,it’s kinda messed up that she did that but have you tried talking to her?”

“No...I thought id just talk to her after exams were over,otherwise who knows maybe she’ll say the reason she got a B or a C was cos I started shit...”

“Okay yeah fair...but do you see yourself being friends with her after this? Especially if her justification is as shitty as what she did?”

“I dont know...the thing is she means so much to me...i trusted her and this is what she did??? I know ill never be able to trust her ag- actually who am I kidding im gonna trust her again and get hurt all over again....i dont know what to do ‘Yaya”

He nodded thoughtfully at that,the gears in his head turning as he tried to come up with the perfect solution.

He know you valued honesty and loyalty above all,it was one of the things you had in common and also one of the things that had made you as close as you were,so he knew this wouldnt be easy.because truthfully even he wouldnt have been able to deal with this and woulda probably turned to you for help...

“Okay then,try to focus on the exam,as best you can and talk to her after? I know its gonna hurt like a bitch but just try?”

“And ill be here okay?,” he said taking your hand in his, “no matter what.”

“Thanks chuuya...Youre probably the best thing that came from my friendship with her.” You said with a soft half-smile.

“Likewise.” He said returning the gesture.

You then looked back to the notes sprawled all around you.

“Fuxk...business tomorrow..”

“Mhmm...wanna start?”

“Dont really have a choice,” you wiped your tears and blew your nose on a tissue before saying, “lets do this!”

“Attagirl!” He said giving you a fist bump.

You studied well into the night and he stayed at your place.

And the next morning,you set off to the exam center hand in hand,giving eachother a single good luck kiss before making your way to your seats.

All rights reserved © 2023 gettinshiggywithit . Please do not repost, modify or claim as yours.

[sweetiesicheng]

mingyu - study date

word count : 515

-

"and despite—"

the door to the classroom suddenly opened and revealed mingyu, who was holding a pizza box in one hand while holding the door open.

"it's so cold outside!" he announced as he walked in, letting the door close by itself.

you stopped the stopwatch that was on your phone. "okay, since you're here, i give up on practicing my speech."

"isn't your speech tomorrow?" mingyu asked as he put his stuff down at a table. he opened the pizza box and took a slice out, immediately taking a bite.

"next week. did you get pepperoni?" you asked as you walked over to him.

"mhm," he replied and you reached the table. you picked up a slice and took a bite, finally able to eat after practicing and doing homework since the morning.

you sat on top of the table that was next to the one the pizza was sitting on. mingyu continued to stand in front of the table as both of you ate.

"do you have a lot of work to do?" you asked him.

"well, gotta write my speech," he stated the obvious and wiped his hands with a napkin that he brought, “and work on paper. everything else is just busy work," he added and grabbed another slice. "do you have a lot of work?" he asked before eating.

you shrugged, "mainly busy work, but i need to go ahead and practice my speech. after all, my day to give it is a week before yours."

he chuckled, "loser."

you rolled your eyes, "it's so unfair how he does it," you complained about your professor's way of setting of the speaking days and groups, putting your half eaten slice of pizza on some napkins that you had laid out on the table.

mingyu shrugged, "hey, at least you're gonna get it over with," he said to you.

"yea, i guess you're right, but it's boring when you just sit there," you replied. "oh, your calculator," you remembered and grabbed your backpack off the floor. you opened it and handed the calculator to mingyu, who took it and placed it on the table.

"thanks," he replied, "how'd your test go?" he asked.

"i think it went good. i forgot to move a decimal place on a problem, but i don't think dr.han will take that many points off," you answered him, recalling your exam that you took the day prior. you finished eating your slice of pizza. "okay, practice time," you said and stood up.

"woo, go y/n!" mingyu shouted as you walked up to the podium. you rolled his eyes at his outburst and watched him take another bite of pizza. "go y/n! you got this!" he continued cheering, as if you were about to perform rather than giving a speech.

"you can stop with the theatrics," you said to him and he smiled.

"oh get ready baby. i'm gonna cheer on your speech date. loud and proud for my baby," mingyu said as he sat down on top of one of the tables in front of you.

[helloabominacion]

𝙄𝙣 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙈𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙡𝙚 𝙊𝙛 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙉𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 ....

pairing: Human!namor x (f!mexican)reader

word count: 5718

warnings: eighteen+ content, a few non-con themes ( but no rape ), nicotine, alcohol, mention of a slur

note: ok, so this man has me on a choke hold, so i wanted to add my little piece of cake to all the wonderful namor x reader fics. this is more like a plot with three chapters, but there will be spicy moments in the next chapter.... also it's been a while i've post a fic so, critics? im up for it. ASLO, all the translation except the spanish ones are inacurate, if you see a mistake, let me know! and in this fic, nobody has powers, no avengers nothing like that, just kinda dosmetic, i guess?

hope you enjoy it!

— 🌙🌙🌙 —

.

.

.

Your promises to your mother about not going overboard with your delight on this field trip that your prestigious college had paid for went down the drain just like the contents your stomach expels into the club's pristine porcelain bathroom. This vacation was the ideal justification for the students to blow off steam and unwind after a semester of extended essays and unbearable exams. But, of course, they deserved this beautiful opportunity! But you didn't earn the embarrassment of vomiting in front of the toilet.  

“Que pinche suerte tengo, at least these bathrooms are clean...”  The misty feeling of nausea still lingered in your mind, and you kept inhaling long breaths to appease your poor stomach. The rumble of cumbia and bachata mix tunes runs through your entire body, muffled by the bathroom walls.

After several minutes of listening to your body and being entirely sure that nothing else will come out of your throat, you left the cubicle with careful steps, the alcohol still circulating your blood. Your hands rested on the sink to support you and began to inspect your reflection in the illuminated mirror, making sure your beautiful hair looked decent. Still, a frown fell on your brows as you noticed you needed a retouch your makeup quickly. 

There's no way in hell you'll let half of your classmates see you in this mess. What would Riri think? After all that time, they wasted watching tutorials on how to do your makeup instead of finishing the due essays. ( and by the way, you did finish that essay, you only need three red bulls.) You blinked owlishly as your drunk mind realized something; you forgot to notify your bestie! It must have slipped your mind while rushing to the bathroom. Then, quickly pulling out your smartphone from your purse, a surprised grimace pulls your red lips at the five lost calls and 12 messages.

You were already cursing in your native language while reading Riri's angry messages, and you knew the black girl would chew your ass out instantly for leaving her all alone. Well, technically, she's not all by herself; it was a miracle how Riri's plan was a success sneaking the princess into their flight directly a Mexico, Yucatan. 

But you knew it was the worst idea your intelligent roommate agreed on, and you can't practically say no to Shuri.

And you dote on Shuri like she was your older sister who just wanted to have fun and create unforgettable memories with her loved ones, but the thought of Auntie Ramonda finding out about this tormented you sometimes. You only visit the Udaku residence occasionally because you are always busy studying. The other excuse was Ramonda's regal and elegant presence overwhelmed you; it was how she could look at you for the first time with those sharp eyes and discover your most embarrassing secrets. You jerked your head as the shiver ran down your shoulders; that's not going to happen! You'd faith in the plan, but only because they got some assistance from Shuri's older brother.

"T'challa eres un angel caido! Thank you so much for this!" Your hands made a prayerful gesture, showing how grateful you were for this great opportunity; then, you huffed sharply. Now it's time to continue putting on your makeup war because you know damn well there will be attractive and captivating individuals, and perhaps you might steal someone for yourself tonight. Who knows what could happen, and you're excited to find out.  While you were fixing your makeup, you looked sideways at your smartphone and then paused at the last message you received from Riri, your eyes narrowed at the change of image on your screen. Riri was calling you, and you answered right away.

"Oye, ¿que paso?"

The shout of your name made you wince, but you kept the phone close to your ear. "CONCHA! Where the fuck are you!?"

"Wh-what do you mean where I'm? In the bathroom bitch, didn't I send you a text!?"

"Bruh! I thought you meant in the hotel's room bathroom!"

You rolled your eyes while snorting. Riri was a bit under the influence of so many Mezcal shots. "Pendeja, as if I'm going to walk like twenty blocks to go over there!"

"Fuck, okay, okay, don't worry! Let me get my key card, and I'm going to get -- wait, Shuri, stop!"

You waited for Riri to finish talking to her girlfriend. Then, finally finishing your makeup, you started packing your belongings into your purse.

“Conchita, you still there?”

“Si mensa, it’s Shuri fine thought? I can hear her laughing and shrieking.” You mused, chuckling t the frustrated groan from Riri. “Is that the reason you left me, Riri? Wanted to spend some sweet time with your princess?” 

“Shut up you! Nothing like that! I had to bring her back cuz she wanted to beat someone!”

“Why?”

“These two Dwayne Johnson-looking ass bumped into me, spilling my amazing drink. They didn’t wanna apologize, so Shuri was about to throw hands with them.”

A thunderous laugh burst from your mouth, your melodious laughter filling the bathroom. You already imagined Riri's annoyed face as you cackled like a crazy bird. You place a hand on your stomach, and tiny tears prickle the corner of your eyes for laughing too much. You panted and coughed a little in an attempt to catch your breath.

“Oh my god, that’s so her, I would’ve paid to see that,”

Riri sucked her teeth but you knew there was an amusing hint behind her tone. “But Conchita, girl, I can’t leave you all by yourself! It’s dangerous, man, what if you get lost?”

“Ay, don’t worry about me, chula! Some other students are here, asi que me voy colar con ellos.” You snicker to yourself; the tequila is getting to your brain currently. “Besides, you will have the suite all to yourself,”

BEEP!

Pulling the phone away from your ear to see that Riri hung up on you.

"Que mamona, ni siquiera me dijo adios."

A creak from the door distracted you from your angry text, and a group of girls with drinks in their manicured hands entered. The second their eyes fell on you, their drunken mouths began to shower you with compliments on your hair and dress and how they loved how your heels accentuated your ass. The comments made butterflies flutter inside your stomach, and a hot wave crept on your face. You weren't used to people throwing compliments at you. A year ago, you would've shied away and possibly left the restroom with a hot shame face, but thanks to Riri's incredible support and friendship. You began to lose yourself.

 Life's too short to be quiet.

With a flamboyant twirl of your body, the girls squealed happily and quickly swarmed you with questions about drinking more mezcal shots with them and exchanging phone numbers and socials. Oh yeah, this was going to be a special night.

FOUR HOURS LATER

Your heart began to fall in love with this magical city, Cancun. Its streets are still busy with locals visiting the stalls and tourists who come from all over the world to taste the exquisite meals, learn about the Yucatecan culture and enjoy the heat that touches your skin. Shot after shot and dancing uncontrollably to the music, you, unfortunately, had to separate from the new friends you made, promising to call them and make sure you'll get safely to your hotel.  You took another bite of your vegetable on a stick, wiping the cream off with your tongue because you forgot to ask for a napkin. The warm air from the night brushed your shoulders and naked legs, and the waves crashing over and over against the sand sounded so captivating to you that the idea of sitting in front of the ocean to contemplate your life was so tempting.

“Hey!”

A loud shout made you stumble mid-step but quickly recovered, whipping your head behind you to see what it was and a cold sensation — dread — washed over you. Your stomach dropped right at your feet at the sight of three grown men approaching you, it seemed like there was a ten-meter stretch between you and them, but that didn't alleviate the fact that you were alone in a not-so-traveled area, and you just noticed that. Mierda, mierda, mierda! You conjure up a tight smile, your chest tightens when you breathe slightly, and a knot forms in the back of your throat. This is not happening now, not tonight please, but what you expected from reality?

“Hey, mami, where are you going?”

An eyebrow twitch while holding a frown, of course they are from the states,

“I’m ‒ I’m just taking a stroll …”

“A stroll, huh?  All by yourself?”  One of them questioned, no good intentions behind that smirk. Before you could open your mouth, your mothers’ words flashed through your mind. Never tell a stranger that you are alone, make them think that someone is waiting for you.

“No, no at all!” ah shit that was too fast.  “I’m just going to back to someone,”

“Oh, you have friends? Maybe we can some fun together.”

“Sounds good to me, the more the merrier.”

Their cruel cackles disgusted your stomach but kept the tight smile on. Your conscious was yelling to run, to run far away and quick, but you knew you could be outrun easily.

" I'm s-sorry but my family is waiting for me.  I - I have to go..."

They began to approach you with steady steps.

"Aw come on, sweetheart, have a little fun with us,"

“Yeah, loose a little with us, we can show you a good time.”

Oh, you can't do this, you were trembling with uneasiness, and your eyes burned with the urge to cry. You once again shook your head, refusing their unwanted invitation, and spun around, walking away from the trio.  But your polite nature didn't stop them and they chose to follow you, taunting you and catcalling. You completely forgot the corn in a stick, and you increased the pace of your step, your heart ached from thumping so much that you believed you were going to have a panic episode. 

Please, I want to wake up from this nightmare, por favor mama, ayudanme por favor.

Your bare feet led you to where it was busy, where you might have a chance to hide and be secure. Of course, you didn't know the streets and didn't have the remotest idea of where you were going, but your feet kept moving; instinct pushed the idea to run until you were secure. You didn't dare to look over your shoulder to check if they followed you; you weren't sure. So, you turned left, entering the streets of Cancun where the neighborhood was, you slipped through the streets, getting lost in the crowd, you stumbled a few times because of the poorly made road, with its potholes and high steps, but your bare feet roared in discomfort from walking on the asphalt, you need to take a breather because you were about to throw up your lungs.

You ended up in an alley between a cheap motel and an old bar, leaning against the painted wall of the motel. Inhaling deeply through your nose to catch your breath and maybe find out where the hell you were. You pulled your smartphone out of your purse and whined in frustration, a small red bar to the left glowing annoyingly. Remind you only have a little time. You had to call an Uber and take you back to Riri and Shuri; you had enough scares in your life.

“Hi, mamacita!”

A shriek escaped you, but the rest was cut off by a hand that covered your mouth, an arm crossed over your shoulders, catching you in an iron grip. Fear strikes your stomach, accelerating your heart. You thought your eardrums were going to burst!

“What? You thought you could run away, Chiquita?”

“We’re gonna have some fun, right sweetheart?”

Your cell phone slapped from your grasp, and your right arm was crossed behind your back, wincing at the pain blooming on your right shoulder. But your muffled whining wasn't going to get listened to as you thrashed around as soon a pair of hands pulled the hem of your dress and, little by little, got dangerously close to your crotch.

No matter the shameful and desperate tears streaming down your cheeks, it didn't convince the assailants cackling, mocking you. Whispering disgusting things about what they are going to do with you. You still thrashed and pulled away from their degenerate touches.

If no one will rescue you, that doesn't mean you're going to give in, and you are not giving up without a fight.

BAM!

All attention was drawn to the emergency exit door opening fully, letting out an individual. Confusion invaded you, dumbfounded by the person's attention deficiency, focused on his pack of cigarettes. With an enraged thrash and whining loud enough to get the awareness of the man in front of you, and you could almost laugh right there, it did get his attention.

“Oh, good evening.” So casually, he spoke, making you scowl, stunned. He must joking este cabron! Is he for real!?

The leader of three-step forward trying to be intimidating, but you knew something was off about this guy.

"You got a staring problem, amigo? Just walk away, bud'"

He has yet to move from his position, not even to face them and you, fiddling with his box of cigarettes. An amused smirk pulled his lips, showing a white smile, and he began to saunter towards the leader.

“I could do that, but I’ve seen each one of your faces.” He spoke, enfacing his word as he pointed at your three assailants and returned his attention to the leader. “I could walk away and easily go to the authorities and deport you out of my country….”

The way the strange man threatened them with such confidence and casualness seemed to affect them. The guy who had your dress released it, taking a step back from you, and the other one holding you from the shoulders loosened his grasp. It looked like they were going to either run or prepare to fight. You had no idea!

"Or I can fuck up each and one of you,” The smirk fell to an intense smoldering. “Teach you a lesson for being a scum. How about that option for you, gringo de mierda?”

“Listen here, you fucking wetback loser—!”

You blinked, and the stranger swung a punch at the aggressor. The other two let you go to back up his buddy, the one holding you shoved you against the floor, harming your wrists for cushioning your fall. The quarrel started, but you were focused on putting yourself together while they were beating each other asses. Stumbling and fumbling, you got up your feet, scrambling away from them and hiding quickly behind a full dumpster, observing the fight from afar and letting out a shaky exhale, thankful that your savior appeared on time, but you were now you not sure if he was a ' good ' savior.

His punches were brutal, wasting no second to unleash another strike on your assailant’s face. His powerful kicks looked like they were going to leave a mark of his shoe on their bodies, and despite his complex, he was swift. Effortlessly dodging the pathetic attempts of the others, even though there were three of them, it seemed like your savior surpassed them in all dynamics.

“U sojol, ma' le wíiniko'ob jaaj…” He spits on them with a sneer as he walks away from the fainted men, making sure he steps on each body and wander towards you.  Now you could appreciate it in more detail when he approached you as you stepped away from the dumpster, shortening the space between you and him. His skin color was so beautiful that you'd bet if the rays of sunset illuminated him, he would look so handsome that it'll make you faint.

Short and unraveling raven hair due to the altercation, but what captivated you was his steely gaze that seemed to inspect every detail of your features. His facial hair covered his sharp chin, accompanied by a mustache above his lip. Then your eyes drop and widen, at what point did his shirt come open? Leaving his torso exposed, and even though his body didn't look like an Adonis, you bet if you caressed his chest, it would be solid rock.

“Do you have a lighter?”

His question shook from your gawking, “¿Que?”

Your intelligent answer seemed to irritate your savior, raising an eyebrow he questions again. “Do you have a lighter?”

“I – I do, but I think it’s my …”  you didn’t smoke, but it was for Riri. “In m - my purse.”

Your savior deadpanned at you, and an uncomfortable silence fell between you, giving you an unsettling feeling until he nodded behind him. As if he was saying, " then go get it, girl"

You caught the small order and headed towards your forgotten purse, a little close to the fallen bodies, you glimpsed at them asking yourself if they were alive, but you scowl, they deserved it and snatched your purse. Returning to your savior with a lighter in your open palm.

"Here you go,"

" Can you light it up? My hands are shaking a bit bruised,"

You gulp, and you weren't even subtle about it. His accent was heavy and extremely hot.  Get it together girl, he just saved you but damn stranger danger! A cigarette was already on his lips, ready to consume, and you slightly nodded. Great, this is just fantastic. You accommodated the lighter in your hand and got closer to him since you realized he was a little taller than you. Only a few inches, but you bet you could get there in your heels. 

Your hands are trembling, and the igniter doesn't seem to work when you try to start it the third time.

“Wait, stay still, you are shaking too much,”

Your cheeks burned up, and every hair on your arms stood up when a shiver went through you, but there wasn't a cold draft, not with this hot weather as his rough hands engulfed yours, steading your right hand as you once again ignited the lighter and voilà, a small flame appear. The tip of the nicotine stick ignited with just a few puffs of his mouth. He exhaled a gust of smoke, invading your space as it floated away. You maintained the man's gaze for a few beats but then blushed awkwardly, you snatched your hand out of his grasp. You didn't know what you would do if he kept looking that way. His hooded gaze was causing your lower belly to get warmer, as well as something else.

He straightened up, removing the stick from his lips.  " So, what did you do to piss them off?"

"I didn't do anything." A slight frown pulls your brows.

“Okay,” Your savior looked at you up and down, your scowl frowning even more.

“You don’t believe me?”

“I didn’t say anything, where’s your hotel?”

“What?”

He raises his eyebrow and smirk amused. ´” What is not an answer, where’s your hotel?  I’m going to walk you there.”

As if you’re going to reveal your temporary location - “It’s the Hyatt Zilara Cancun, that’s my hotel.” Ah shit.

Your savior remains silent for a few seconds as if he was remembering something, and then he nodded.  He started strolling to the opposite street of the alley. “Okay, vamonos, your hotel is a bit far, but we will make it in twenty minutes.”

“Wha-? Wait, wait so you’re just going to take me there, just like that?”  He glanced over his shoulder and nodded, looking at you as if wasn’t that obvious.  He wasn’t giving explanations as to why he was helping you. Something fishy is up.  “But – but I don’t even know your name!”

He pauses and turns towards you, the wheels in his mind were grinding on how to answer your answer, and he gave a confident smile. “My family calls me K’uk’ulkan, but a different kind of people call me Namor.”

You hid the fact that you could finally give your handsome, shady savior a name, but you still continue with your interrogation. “And what can kind of people are those?”

“My enemies.”

“Oh,”

Namor chuckled at the pale shade on your face, “I understand you are suspicious towards me, but if I wanted you to get hurt, I would’ve turned away.” Your jaw clenches at Namor's words, a heavy insecurity you sense in your throat, and then fades away at his changed response with a mischievous smirk on his attractive face. “But that would never happen since I'm not a man like them.”

“Que chistosito cabron…”  You muttered under your breath as you went to collect your heels and return to him. Waiting for him to start leading, but he seemed too busy watching your gestures. “What? Is there cream on my face??”

 Namor tilted his head at you. "What's your name?"

You chewed your tongue before you blurt out your real name, savior or not. You still couldn't trust him 101%. Not until you were sure he wasn't a serial killer or worst.

“Conchita.”

Namor repeated the name, unsure if he was listening correctly.

“Sipi, Conchita, that’s my name. Don’t pronounce too much it loses its charm.”

The smile that revealed his white teeth turned your stomach into butterflies, chuckling slightly at your humor.  Namor steps to your side and puts out his arm for you to grab. " After you, my lady."

“You’re the one who’s showing me, Menso.” You snorted but linked your arms anyway.

Namor chuckled and shook his head, “U ch'úupalo' ya'abtal jela'an.”

And he started to move, letting him take you through the streets of Cancun. But remember, you are only using Namor’s knowledge to bring you safely to your hotel, nothing more and nothing less.

 ↼ TEN MINUTES LATER ⇁

All your questions were ignored or answered with another question. When you began to have confidence in asking personal stuff, Namor would avoid it, always turning everything about you. You even thought that he was getting bored with all your personal life that you were oversharing.

But nothing like that; Namor would interrupt you for a second, only to cross a busy street, then he would ask you to continue with your childhood memories from Mexico when you visited with your mother. But you wanted so badly to know about Namor. Where did he work at? What was his favorite scent? Did he have a wife/girlfriend? Did he live alone? So many questions! He lived with two close cousins and was born and raised in Yucatan. At least, that is not bad to know about him.

You let out a loud yawn while Namor was telling a story about how he and his cousins were diving in cenotes, you didn't mean to be rude, but your exhausted body was at its limits. With sore feet and a wholly drained mind, it sounded tempting to fall asleep on the sand.

“Is my story that boring, In ch'ujuk lool? “

You offered him a giggly smile, but you were slowing down, your brain demanding rest, but you kept ambling while resting your head on Namor's shoulder. " No, nothing like that. I'm just exhausted."

" Ah, in that case, you no longer have to worry, see that? "

Your eyes went up and then watered a little. The sight of your hotel illuminated in all its glory seemed like a miracle straight from heaven. You ignored the pleas of your feet. You pushed a bit more until you finally faced the stairs leading to the hotel's lobby. Desolate was the hotel from the outside, but you knew there were still staff members inside. Namor's warmth was lulling you away while you were holding onto his big bicep as if they were a pillow.

Namor untangled his arm from yours and then took your hand in his grasp, “Well, here ends our little adventure.”

“What?”

“We finally made it.”

“Oh, yeah right.” Ay no, you didn’t want this to end, it’s too soon to say goodbye! “So, this is goodbye.”

“Indeed, it is, In lool.” Namor brough your hand to his mouth, brushing his lips to your knuckle and you were about melt right there if it wasn’t for his deep rich voice. “It was nice meeting you, despite the events of tonight.”

“It was nice meeting you too, Namor, and I know you already hate hearing me say but thank you so much for saving me. I mean, you didn’t have to do that….” Your voice cracks a bit. Oh boy, you really need to rest and be in the arm of your dearest girlfriends. You feel you were about a break in front of Namor.

Namor goes for your other hand and holds them to his chest, pulling you towards him as he stares you down with deep brown eyes. “No, no, I had to in ki'ichpam nikte'.  No one deserves that type of violation on their person and less someone like you.”

The caress with his knuckles on your cheek was your breaking point. Leaning just a bit closer to his space, your nostrils were filled with Namor's cologne, salt sea water, and nicotine. And Namor was drinking every detail of your features, every mole, and the tiny scar he could find on your plump cheeks that he could kiss, observing how your stunning ( c / e ) eyes shone with the light of the tall lamp posts. They were practically glowing for him.

His nose was grazing yours closely, hot breaths mixing, and Namor could end this intense hunger to kiss you until he stole your breath, but he noticed how you shivered and that glazed look in your eyes. You're still shaken from the event in the alley.

And when you were about to cut the space between your lips and his, but logic slapped you to come to your senses, and backed away.

“Namor, can I borrow your phone?”

He blinked confused for a second but responded. “What for?”

“Well, before you came one of the guys slapped my phone away. Oh, I didn’t event grabbed it." You winced at your forgetfulness and shrugged anyway. “Meh, I’m due to upgrade and all my photos are in the cloud.”  That didn’t answer Namor’s question. “I mean, I need to text my friend so she can come out…”

Namor blinked twice and huffed amusedly, he nodded and fish out his smartphone from his pocket. “Here you go.”

“Thank you,”

Reluctantly you released his hands to punch Riri's number on the phone. No calls. You didn't have the energy to speak everything through the device, so you sent two messages straight to the point. Hoping Riri wouldn't call this phone, you turned towards Namor, offering his phone back with a quiet thank you. Namor reached for his phone, but he didn't miss the opportunity for his fingers to caress yours as he grabbed the device.

You sent him a look when he put his phone away. You were not mad at Namor but at how the fuck this man affected you emotionally and physically.

“So, do you wish to go inside the lobby, and we can wait for your friend?”

You glared at Namor for a second then you glanced at the ten long stairs leading to the hotel lobby, and then back to the handsome shady savior. It’s not worth it, it ain’t worth moving your sore feet from your spot.

“I mean, we could stay outside here. I don’t mind sitting on the hard stairs while waiting in the suffocating heat for my friend….” Oh god, it was the warm weather, too warm for your tastes, you felt the sweat growing in the back of your dress. Namor licked his lips as he smiled at you, shaking his head amusedly by your rant, but he had an easy plan to fix that.

“Hey, yan my ch'ujuk concha, I think there’s a peacock behind you,” A malice glint flashed through his brown eyes.

Your mistake was twisting your neck, you pouted at the lack of the pretty feather birds, and before you could confront Namor, a squeal left your mouth as a pair of solid arms sneaked under your knees and waist. Your arms encircled Namor's broad shoulders to support, and shame began to heat your head. He didn't seem to shake as he went up the stairs with you in his arms, and being this close to his personal space was a bonus point, but you weren't going to let him know that.

“Eres un pinche cabron, pero si no fueras tan chulo te hubiera pegado…” You mumble under your breath, not making eye contact with him as he tries to search for you with a smug smirk.

“If you don’t tell me what that means, I will drop you.”

“It’s nothing, nada!”  You replied quickly, earning a loud chuckled as you tighten your grip around his shoulders. You cling to him like a cat not wanting to get in the water tub.   

“You should’ve told me your feet were hurting, In chan lool .” Namor chided near your ear. “And I told you so for not wearing your high heels.”

“So, my blisters can have blisters? HA! No thank you sir.”

The hotel doors were opened with the help of one of the workers when they glimpsed you from the counter. Namor nodded gratefully for the aid and went to the waiting area. He gently dropped you onto the expensive sofa and sat beside you. A heavy yawn broke out from you, covering your mouth with the palm of your hand. Then you glance at Namor with a hooded gaze, not hiding the fact you are about to fall asleep on this expensive couch with him, and beam tiredly at him, who was observing you with endearment or boredom. You couldn't tell.

“Are you tired, Ba'ax táan a cansada, in jela'an lool?”

“You know it’s not veery nice of you to say those things in your awesome language with your hot accent and voice…” You leaned into him; his arm dropped on your shoulders.  Namor was smiling at your slurred words and your accent slipping sometimes.

“And why it’s not nice?”

“Because! I can’t understand shit and it juuust driving crazy what are you saying.”

“I’ll tell you what those words meant if you give me your real name….” Namor leaned down, brushing the bridge of your nose with his, making you aware of the position. That hot sensation returned with more fervor in your stomach and your intimate parts. Your hand ended up in Namor's abdomen, feeling his warmth and his muscles flex a little. You could finish all this. You can satisfy your hunger and end your desire with just one kiss.

“My real name…?”

“Yes, In yakunaj, only your name.”

You frowned annoyed again by the words, no ideas whatsoever. You brush the tip of your nose against his, almost like an eskimo kiss. Your heart was pumping blood through your eardrums, your body buzzing with heat as you nestled against his. You bet he could hear your poor heart hammering loudly.

“I don’t understand any of that, how do you even pronounce it,”

Namor smirked, eyes focused on your half-open lips. “Do you want me to show you?”

YES, PLEASE, DO IT!

Your mind screamed, but you nodded weakly. You desired those lips to burn and mark you, and you wanted them on top of you in any way possible.

Namor smiled smugly, showing few of his teeth while connecting his forehead with yours. “I need you to hear your words in jela'an floor.”

“CONCHA, WHERE ARE YOU MY GIRL?”

Shuri's thunderous shout echoed through the empty lobby, you and Namor wince, backing away from each other as your attention landed on Shuri stepping out of the elevator with stumbling steps. You stood up from your seat, ignoring the sharp pain in your feet, and headed to Shuri with open arms.

“Conchita, where’ve you been?” Shuri’s tone scolded. “Twenty-five calls, fifty text messages, and nothing! What happened to you?”

You didn't reply away, mind already clouding with exhaustion, relief surrounded you when Shuri engulfed you with her long arms.

“It’s – it’s a long story, Namor brought me here because I had no idea where I was-”

“Who?”

“The guy right behind me, isn’t he cute?”

Shuri glanced behind you then look you up and down, “ Conchita, what kind of ecstacy have you taken?”

“Uhm no?”

“Then what man are you talking about?”

You whipped your head behind you and indeed, the lobby was vacant. The couch where you left Namor was empty, and a wrenching feeling twisted your gust, disappointed in yourself for not going for the kiss.  And the urges of crying took you over.

“I – I didn’t even get to kiss him,.”

Shuri cooed as she hugged you when your shoulders were shaking. “oh sisi wam omncinci othandekayo,, come on, let us go back to Riri and you can explain us...”

You let out a frail yeah while Shuri led you to the elevator and ignored the staff member approaching you with your heels and purse. So yeah, although the nightmare was over, your precious dream ended terribly. But who knows? You might see him again; you wonder to yourself. Just a little feeling that you would see Namor again, and this time, your tired mind promised to steal a kiss from him.

transations:

Que pinche suerte tengo ⇀ how fucking lucky I'm

eres un angel caido ⇀ you're a fallen angel

Oye, ¿que paso? ⇀ hey, what happened?

pendeja ⇀ bitch

chula, asi que me voy a colar con ellas ⇀ sweetie , i'm going to be with them

Que mamona, ni siquiera me dijo adios.⇀ What a bitch , he didn't even say goodbye to me.

U sojol, ma' le wíiniko'ob jaaj ⇀ you're a piece of scum, you are not men.

U ch'úupalo' ya'abtal jela'an. ⇀ what a curious girl you are.

In ch'ujuk lool? ⇀ My sweet flower

In lool ⇀ my flower.

in ki'ichpam nikte' ⇀ my beautiful flower

yan my ch'ujuk concha ⇀ oh my sweet concha

Eres un pinche cabron, pero si no fueras tan chulo te hubiera pegado… ⇀ You're a fucking bastard, but if you weren't so handsome would have hit you.

In chan lool ⇀ my little flower

Ba'ax táan a cansada, in jela'an lool? ⇀ Are you tired, my rare flower?

In yakunaj ⇀ my flower

oh sisi wam omncinci othandekayo, ⇀ oh my dear little sister,