#Genuinely ridiculous. It costs nothing to be kind

[neon-vocalist]

Hosts actually respect their damn headmates challenge level not that hard

[explosionshark]

you're so right about the Lies my parents told me episode!! Principal Robin Wood is like "you killed my mom" (valid complaint to have about someone) and Spike for real counters it with "well i kinda lowkey was in love with my mom. so what now." like??????

i would say "if i was principal wood i would've shot him on sight" but famously he did try. mr robin i could treat you so much better than buffy!!

I think part of what is so frustrating is that it's flying in the face of a lot of what they seemed to be trying to do with Spike's character this season and that kind of adds to the unusual cruelty of it.

So like - this whole season we're getting just SO MUCH of Spike and soul stuff. How different he is with a soul, how it's what's preventing him from killing, how he's wracked with guilt and shame over his past. And this should be a climactic moment for him - if nothing else you could see a version of this where he experiences empathy for Wood, expresses genuine regret, talks it out or tries to make amends.

Something like that would play into the idea that having a soul has made him reevaluate his life and his deeds. Killing slayers after all was his whole deal, now he's in love with one, now he's confronted with the grieving child of one. Shouldn't that be a moment where he faces up to something monstrous and tries to do better? Couldn't a sincere expression of contrition make Robin stop and think about what he's doing, what vengeance costs, what it's all for and if it's worth it?

That feels so obvious to me. I just pulled that out of my ass after thinking about it for five minutes.

But INSTEAD we spend most of our time in Spike flashbacks, centered in his POV, dealing with his relationship to his mom instead. And in the end, instead of showing any of the humanity Spike is supposed to have gained through his soul and his love for Buffy, we get him telling Robin that it was good he killed Nikki Wood, he doesn't regret it, and that Robin's pain is his mother's fault because by pursuing her calling she proved that she didn't love him enough (nevermind what that implies about Buffy and every other slayer, for that matter).

That the episode ends with Buffy downplaying Robin's pain and Spike's guilt to a pointless vendetta and saying that she would allow Spike to kill him if he tries to get justice again is just salt in the wound. Comparing losing Joyce to an aneurysm as a young adult to Robin's mother being murdered when he was a young child is ridiculously callous.

I think Robin Wood is one of the better, more interesting characters introduced in this season. The son of a murdered slayer in the mix adds so much potential depth to the questions we could start to ask about Buffy, now that she's getting older, raising her sister alone, balancing a career and slaying. Robin also offers a way for Buffy to have a connection to the slayer line that's more personal and tangible than anything we've seen before. But instead of exploring that - what was it like for a child to be raised by his dead mother's watcher? How does meeting Buffy and her friends challenge what he thinks he knows about the calling? Instead of giving Robin that much consideration as a character he gets sidelined for more Spike backstory and then scolded for uh being upset that his mother's killer is just flouncing around talking about how reformed he is. AND HE'S WEARING HER GODDAMN COAT.

Lies My Parents Told Me sucks so hard it's unreal. Hands down worst episode of the show for me.

[fleet-admiral-hiba]

OUR LITTLE FOX

A/n: when you get grounded by mistake, how will the Harbingers react to the one who put the blame on you?

"WHY?" You shouted frustrated. It was ridiculous. Why were you getting grounded (again) for something you didn't do? You could understand the last two times, but this wasn't it. Pierro, as usual, wasn't having none of your tantrum.

"You took something you shouldn't have. That's why" he said calmly, but he was close to snapping. Something you would avoid at any cost, but not this time.

"But I didn't. I found it in my room. I swear" his eyes twitched, he didn't want to shout at you, but he was so close. You tried again to tell your side but his booming voice shut you up. His eyes became immediately cold and steely.

"Go to your room. You are hereby grounded for two months. Any privilege is revoked. If this is the only way to make you learn, then so be it" he turned his back and walked away.

You were escorted to your room and you started crying. Bitter and hurt tears. Why didn't he believe you, when all you said was the truth?

He was fuming on his way to his office, when he met Pulcinella. "Do you really believe he did it?" he said, more inquisitive than anything else. He believed your story, you were genuine when you said you didn't know where it came from.

"It was in his room, and no one else could have taken it without us knowing. The guards confirmed this" he finished. Pulcinella wasn't buying it, but let him go to cool off. It was no use talking to him like this.

Days passed and your sobbing didn't stop. Their heart broke,but until you learned your lesson there was nothing they could do.

Pulcinella though suspected foul play, especially when other artifacts went missing. It couldn't have been you, you were locked inside your room.

On a weekly meeting he told the others as much, and they realised that something deeper must have been going on. To say they were ashamed was saying nothing: if you truly didn't do it, they had just punished you harshly for no reason.

"Pierro, something isn't adding up. There have been reports of missing artifacts later found in y/n's room, while they were inside. I think they're trying to pin this on him" said Childe. Capitano backed up this report with his intel, and it was more than suspicious. "We need to find them. We may have broken that trust our baby had for us" warned Pulcinella. It probably was low anyway, but they had to try.

A month almost went by, and you still didn't leave your room. You were heartbroken,.you felt betrayed.

Meanwhile...

A group of cicin mages was running away. They had been found and the consequences were going to be rather dire.

But when you were being chased by Capitano and Childe, nothing was going to save you.

Catching them one by one, the duo brought them to the cathedral, where the others waited. Not a word was said. They were watching them intently. Pulcinella stepped forth, a disappointed look on his face. "I thought you were all trained better than this. Blaming your misconduct on a kid is shameless, even by our standards. You will be punished, by being sent to Dottore and Sandrone" he said while the group pleaded for mercy.

There was nothing worse than being a test subject for either one of them. Death was not an option, instead their prolonged suffering only a certainty.

He wasn't finished. He turned back to the others, facing specifically Pierro, " You on the other end, need to go and apologize to y/n first. You delivered the punishment and you need to set the record straight. We are not free of judgement either, because we fell into this conspiracy too. We WILL make amends. Am I clear?" suddenly, not even the first harbinger felt safe. Pulcinella, when he wanted to be, could be scarier than the Tsaritsa.

They nodded and immediately scattered.

Pierro bracing himself made his way to your room. He was nervous. He had just made one of the worst mistakes of his life.

Knocking softly, he waited for any kind of reply. None came. Instead he heard a soft pitpat coming towards the door. "Love..." he started but quickly you backed away. You weren't going to fall for tha trick again. "Y/n, can I please come in? I know I made the biggest mistake of my life and I'm ashamed of it. I want to apologize..." he didn't finish the sentence before the door opened a fraction.

He could see your eyes puffy and red, oh love, he didn't mean to do that to you. "I'm incredibly sorry love. I was mistaken and I hurt you. I understand if you don't want me to come in or talk to you, but I want to make amend" he continued softly, while kneeling down. You were unsure but you opened the door for him to enter.

He opened his arms, and you dived straight in. Sobbing hard and uncontrollably, you spewed apologies after apologies. He shushed you gently. It wasn't your fault, it was all on him.

"I'm so sorry love, I'm so so sorry" he said, hugging you tight. Tears started to flow down his face. So much pain, he could feel your pain like it was his own.

Time flowed by but neither of you broke the hug. He let you vent out your frustrations, your pain and hurt. When you felt ready to step back, he let you go, but stood there facing you. "I won't...forgive you immediately. But I love you all" you mumbled lowly. He simply chuckled, glad to see you talking to him.

"It's okay love. That's on me. If you want, you could come with me, take a stroll through the palace?" He proposed, hopeful. You pondered the decision, but ultimately shook your head. You were exhausted. "All right, sleep well love" he tucked you in, kissed your cheeks and left.

.

.

.

Even the others apologized the next day. They let them fool them enough to hurt you, and they should have seen this. You repeated what you told Pierro the day before, and they had the same reaction.

There was a long way to go, but they'd wait gladly if that meant seeing you smile and joke freely around them.

It had been a close call...those mages won't be missed.

And if the agents were even more scared of the Harbingers, nobody batted an eye for that. They had it coming the moment they messed with you.

Their baby shouldn't have to suffer.

[hyenahunt]

Obbligato: The Punishment of Kaname Tojo - 6

Writer: Akira

Season: Spring

Characters: Kaname, Tatsumi

Proofreading: Remi (JP) & honeyspades (ENG)

Translation: Peace

Tatsumi: Idols are those who bring smiles to others’ faces, after all.

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Kaname: ......

(Okay. Now that I've finished reporting to my brother, I've got to get onto my next job.)

(Hm? Wasn't I supposed to have lessons today? I thought I was doing something else...)

(I'll check my schedule — my brother's perfected it down to the second, so I'll know for sure then.)

(I have to follow it precisely. As long as I do exactly as he says, then I'll be fine.)

(I have to heed his instructions at all costs. I have to. No matter how hard it gets, I have to—)

... Hm?

(Huh? Who's that walking past the window... Wait, is that—)

Location: Reimei Practice Room

Kaname: —Tatsumi-senpai!

Tatsumi: ......

Kaname: I thought that maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me, but it really is you!

But... W-What are you doing here? Weren't you hospitalized?

Tatsumi: ... Ah, HiMERU-san. Good afternoon.

It's been some time since we last spoke, hasn't it? Have you lost some weight? I've heard that you've been flourishing lately, but it's best to rest every now and then.

Kaname: That's my line! You look terrible, senpai.

Why would you come back to school when you're still sick? Are you an idiot?

Tatsumi: Hahaha. I might just be an idiot, truthfully.

I was merely staying in a hospital, you see, not some prison where I'd be isolated from the world. I was still able to have a connection with those outside.

Though there were restrictions on when and where one could visit, patients are still able to use the internet and write letters to the outside world.

Kaname: What are you going on about?

Tatsumi: How wonderful life is, of course.

I was truly blown away by just how many people were calling for me to return. Not only the staff I had worked with, but all of my fans...

As well as my companions, with whom I worked beside and ate with.

So many people wished to speak with me again. How could I ever ignore their countless requests?

I decided then that I'd do as they asked no matter what it took, even if I should die.

Kaname: You really will die though. I'm serious. You were hospitalized for physical and mental reasons, Tatsumi-senpai — you don't look recovered at all, you know?

I can tell just looking at you. You know people really do die like this, don't you?

Their luck runs out, they push themselves too far — and then they die.

If you died, then all those who wished for your return would mourn you instead.

Please get your priorities straightened out, Tatsumi-senpai.

Tatsumi: I can feel your worry through your chiding, and I'm grateful for it.

In the perspective of others, particularly here at Reimei Academy, you and I are whom Special and Non-Special Students look to respectively...

As such, there seems to be rumors of us having something of a conflict of interests, as their representatives of a kind.

Kaname: To those who haven't a clue of what's going on, that's exactly what it looks like. In truth, I have acted as if I was taking what is rightfully yours.

Everyone thinks you must resent me for it, too. Anyone would.

Tatsumi: But I don't.

In fact, I'm grateful that you've continued my work while I was gone.

Kaname: Is that so? How like you, Tatsumi-senpai.

I know from the bottom of my heart, without a shadow of a doubt, that you don't resent me whatsoever.

Just as Judas Iscariot betrayed a saint for nothing more than chump change, so have I. But you won't resent me for it— you'll only grant me love and affirmation, won't you?

You'd even forgive those who'd crucify and kill you, wouldn't you!

Tatsumi: I am no saint, but thank you for thinking of me as such, however ridiculous the claim.

It'd be embarrassing to put me on the same level as those genuine saints who lived long ago.

I simply want to live up to everyone's expectations. I wish I could have shown you my hospital room, filled with fanmail from those who missed me.

Each one was filled with love, from every person I’ve met...

I want to give back the love I've received. I want them to feel as warm as I did reading each one.

It sounds rather odd, doesn't it?

But I do love everyone.

And, like anyone else, I want those I love to be happy as well.

Kaname: Then listen to me. If you were to collapse and die, no one would be happy! They'd just cry their eyes out and mourn you instead!

Honestly, Tatsumi-senpai, you've really screwed up your priorities.

You're so stupid I could laugh, you idiot.

Tatsumi: If I've made you laugh, then I've done my job well...

Tatsumi: Idols are those who bring smiles to others’ faces, after all.

Kaname: ......

Tatsumi: You know, HiMERU-san, I do want to be an idol.

I don't want to be the reverend of a shady religious following; I want to be someone who can be loved by others.

♪~♪~♪

[ ☆ ]

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[zmediaoutlet]

Order the fries!

And you may have already done this one but Sam/Rowena? (Or Sam/Jody if you prefer)

y'all the fries were Ordered and then they were Crushed. so while I sit here in grease coma--

sam/rowena

this is one of those ships that I get on an intellectual level but that I'm kinda meh about. to sweep aside the version I'm most meh about as I've done with all the other options -- I hhhhhhate "witch Sam uwu" and the purple woowoo magic that costs nothing and Sam Learning Magic From Rowena and any of that cutesy flowercrown business. ech. If we're gonna ship people I want them to be adults, lol. So with all that--

this is one of those ships that I see the full ship-tential for, really, but I think it's one where they were kind of passing each other at the wrong... time? Kinda like uhh Doctor Who/River. If Sam had been his shadier less-self-respecty s4 self and met a hot dangermilf, odds are higher he could've gotten in there. But Sam in the latter seasons does have self-respect, and when he meets Rowena she's essentially Crowley but redheaded, and we've already talked about how Sam's too good for Crowley, haha. She does get slowly less villainous and Sam respects her more the more she does good, and I can see Sam's genuine interest in her rising the more she clicks over into neutral vs evil. She's his McLeod, where Crowley is Dean's, and Sam were go for it it'd be when she's at her best -- but unfortunately she dies before that door ever fully, really opens. (I try to forget about the 'queen of hell' shit. that red pantsuit, christ.)

Interestingly, too, Rowena's level of self-respect is all over the place. She's haughty and her chin's held high but we know she went through the filthiest muck to get here, in her ridiculously OTT gowns and wealth and make-up to the nines at all times. It's a facade to cover up the terror and old shame, and tbf she has built up a whole castle of witch-bitch to surround that. I can fully see her wanting to fuck Sam just on a physical attraction level -- not least because of that one dom!Sam moment where he makes her sit down and she does, presumably gushing -- but I don't know that she'd let herself. Men are to be used and discarded on the way to the next goal. Letting yourself be open with one is weakness, and she doesn't intend to be weak again.

So what does that leave me at -- like, mutual admiration, physical attraction, but a thin barrier always held up of we could, but let's not do that to each other. Alas. Sam could hold her up with one hand and nail her standing.

[threebooksoneplot]

love this podcast so much! this is probably a bit of a nuts ask but i just wanted to let you guys know that you've genuinely helped me in real life- I was approached by two Mormon missionaries today (i live in the UK so it was Unexpected to say the least) and for the entirety of the conversation I was remembering how you mentioned on one of your episodes (99% sure it was you guys) about how being on missionary is most Mormons' first experience of the wider world so you should do your best to be polite etc. all the context you gave genuinely helped me navigate the conversation so much lmao, you guys are entertaining AND educational 10/10

oh wow!! daaaamn, good for you!

and yeah, that sounds like something we would say. I (G) can't seem to dig up receipts right now but the tl;dr is that oftentimes, door-to-door evangelism of the kind mormon missionaries and jehovah's witnesses engage in is less effective at converting people, but highly effective at reinforcing to the group's members that all outsiders are Cruel And Sinful and therefore you should never leave The Church because that's where the only good and kind people are.

but also, like, 90% of the time the reason I (G) try to be kind to mormon missionaries is because they're like 20 and have never been allowed the simple joy of a macchiato (but must try to fill that void with vile concoctions of dr pepper, gummy worms, and half 'n half, apparently.)

also, let the record show that "being kind" does not mean showing any interest whatsoever in converting to mormonism, or leading them on to that effect! but it costs $0 to wish them a nice day and be a shining example of how wearing spaghetti straps does not in fact lead to sacrificing live goats to satan.

anyway. we're proud of you, anon! glad you like the ole podcast 🤠

—G

yeah this is awesome to hear!! and even to add onto this, that sort of advice is pretty good to utilize just in general when talking to people from these ultra-conservative, super-sheltered (and yes, usually religious) upbringings. like G said, you don't need to lie to them and make them believe that "oh yeah totally i'm absolutely going to see you this sunday and I sure will consider changing the entirety of my belief system/morals!" but, yknow, just be kind. it's good to do even for Normal Regular people you see on the street. but this isn't sesame street so I won't start that brand of schoolyard lecture.

semi-related, but a little tangential: my super-strict catholic high school used to invite mormon missionaries to come and 'speak with' specific religious classes (usually the TrulyCatholic bitches took these) every year. and every year we heard about how "lol the ridiculous mormons keep coming and being nice to us to try and talk about their religion as if we're EVER going to change our minds and believe in their FAKE and WRONG version of christianity?? isn't it so stupid that they're so patient and kind to us even as sister catherine anne stands back and lets us bully—I mean, debate these guys? anyways I wonder when the morons—I mean, mormons, will stop coming back. 😌💅"

and to this day I still think about those guys! because I never understood their willingness to come back every year, and I could not fathom why they were consistently so nice. learning more about mormonism through this podcast has really helped my ex-catholic ass look at the outside world and be like "oh, we were the assholes. I mean, I knew that already, but shit." and tbh i'm sure they honestly loved coming to my school, because nothing will solidify your own stance/opinion on a group of 'outsiders' than a mob of privileged ravenous catholic teenagers. anyways, let that be a refrain for you on your new day-to-day: don't be like the catholics, be kind. amen 🙏

—shannon

[distort-opia]

the fact that joker needs batman more than he needs joker is a very interesting factor of batjokes, makes me bitter as fuck (pardon my language), but still, a very interesting part of their relationship.

never have i thought that batman and joker's relationship would hit so close to home for me. in one of your posts ive seen someone mention that joker loves but hates batman for that exact reason and man. why did they make joker so damn relatable.

Yeah, it's definitely a conflict on Joker's part, which tends to get a bit overlooked in fandom. Joker is obsessed with, and in love, with Batman -- but he doesn't always like it. He's been trying to kill the guy and telling him he hates him, almost as frequently as he's told him he loves him. But yeah, both me and @lankylordoflevity have discussed this somewhere in my asks before.

But you know, while Joker does undoubtedly need Bruce more... his love for Bruce is a lifeline in many ways. His obsession with Batman gave him a purpose, kept him alive after he fell into the acid vat; his love is everything he has that matters, but it's so all-encompassing because he's got absolutely nothing else. Joker doesn't have a family, or any kind of moral rules, or anything that important to him. While Joker is conflicted about his dependence on Batman's existence, at the end of the day, to him... this love gives much more than it takes away.

But Bruce stands to lose so much. His inability to let Joker go has caused so much harm already. He's made some very questionable choices over time, among which him nearly killing Jason at the end of UtRH to save Joker's life is probably the biggest. His relationship with Jason suffered as a result; all of his relationships suffer from it, one way or another. After being shot in the spine, Barbara had to hear that Batman was seen laughing together with the man who shot her. Over the years, she had to watch Bruce go out of his way to save Joker's life, even when she asked him not to, even when it wouldn't have contradicted Bruce's rules to let Joker die. His relationship with Joker was a big obstacle even in his relationship with Selina; that's kind of the plot of Batman/Catwoman. And this is something Snyder saw too -- how difficult this pattern of Bruce's is to overlook, and how hard the Batfamily avoids addressing it. Death of the Family is literally about the impact of Bruce's selfish and reckless actions regarding Joker on the Family, and the understandable rift that follows when they can't help but realize Joker wasn't wrong. Because the reality is, Bruce has saved Joker's life so many times and in such ridiculous conditions at this point that it's baffling. And what Joker keeps doing after is more murder, more destruction, and worst of all: he keeps being a danger to all the people Bruce loves. Yet Bruce can't find it in him to genuinely let him die.

I guess, what I mean is, Bruce is the one to suffer the biggest consequences for his side of things. Hundreds of deaths, untold destruction, the eternal possibility of Joker crossing another line and killing more of his Family. Joker may need Batman more because he's got nothing else... but how many more excuses can Bruce come up with, to himself and to others, for the fact he keeps risking so much to keep Joker alive? In the end, what's crazier? Needing someone so badly that loving them is barely a choice, or choosing someone again and again no matter the costs while claiming you don't love them?

Don't know if that helps with the bitterness, Anon. Kind of ended up going off with my own thoughts about this. But for me a fascinating part of Batjokes is Bruce's own side of things, that often gets dismissed as him not reciprocating, or him being less invested. Joker is loud and vocal about his love, and it's easy to take him on his word; when actually, Joker would be the first to balk at the idea of a relationship that involved anything other than violence. Bruce is vocal about his hatred for Joker and his wish that Joker would die, but his actions contradict that time and time again; when he's the one to reach out and the one to keep Joker alive, even when Joker himself is trying his damndest to die. As the villain, if someone else murders him, or if Bruce snaps and kills him, Joker... wins. It's what he wants. But Bruce loses when he keeps Joker alive, and he'd lose himself if he finally murdered Joker.

One way or the other, Bruce always loses.

[rederiswrites]

This has been a year of learning to be grateful for the basics. And let me tell you, becoming Old and Wise comes with a hell of a cost.

I do a better job of remembering to be grateful for my loved ones because I lost one., suddenly and horribly. A dear friend lost their life partner. We grappled with...with everything. With the realization that she left everything unfinished, so many things unfixed, and yet her life was worth so, so much. We all spent months re-evaluating the point of literally everything you can do with a life. Everyone should, but the cost should never be so high.

Friends have seen their nightmares about the fragility of their precious children come true--several trips to the plastic surgeon to put his face back together for one, after a simple backyard accident! Another is in the hospital still, after being run off the road by a semi on the way home for fall break. I think of him constantly. A boy I've seen go from a ridiculously tall four year old to a smart, funny, kind young man anyone should be proud of. I think of the photos of his car, nearly unrecognizable as a vehicle. The other day, I'd wrangled my exhaustion and frustration into abeyance enough to go into the grocery store, and as soon as I got out of my car I saw one of those memorial car stickers, "In loving memory of my son." I think people believe in gods just so they can pray for such a thing never to happen.

I've learned to be grateful for days when nothing hurts very much. I've learned to be grateful when I can just pull some weeds, take care of the animals, do the dishes. For empty counter space. For bowls in the cupboard. Spoons in the drawer. Genuinely happy for these things, I mean.

I spent days in such abject physical misery that every day since, I've been genuinely, effortlessly grateful just to be warm, dry, near to a bathroom and a fridge. Sometimes, even still, I lie in bed at night, radiating contentment because the blankets are soft and not damp, because the mattress is decent, because there's warm skin against mine. For a long time, just that was such a pleasure to have that I actually struggled motivating myself to push for more!

I've learned what it's like to be slowly bleeding to death. I've spent as much time in bed as out of it for months now. I can't keep up my part of this partnership's very heavy load, and both of us know it. But whenever I feel like the burden on my husband is too much to sustain, too much to ask, I'm met by his long memory of what we've already survived--and it's so, so much. I'm reminded of his willingness to burn himself on the altar of this family, to put himself last every time, and that's a scary thing that we're both working on.

Someday I will be old, and I hope I will be wise, and dear god, will I have paid for it in blood.

[cygninae]

I'm curious why you relate to Lemony, I'd love to hear an elaboration

i'll try my best to explain why I find so much of myself in Lemony, but forgive me if I sound mad or something. I'm just going to ramble about this, no structure.

The first thing, really, that we ever learn about Lemony Snicket is that he has a duty to tell us the truth about a series of incidents, though they appear to be extremely detrimental to him to do so. He does it anyway. When I look at him, I see that he has no regard for himself, only the world around him. Meticulous to the very detail, dedicated to the last second, passionate to a boiling point underneath a front of witty disregard for practically everything.

He took it upon himself to write about the Baudelaire's experience as accurately as he could, because he couldn't stand by and watch the world move on when so many lives had been ruined. He doesn't really care that he could get killed in the process, or caught, or anything worse. He throws himself completely and wildly into this task of exposing what really happened to the Baudelaires. I'm not saying I relate to him because this was valiant - don't worry, I'm not that up my own arse. I relate to him because he is so book smart but actually completely stupid for not thinking that anyone loves or cares about him enough to be extremely hurt when he throws his life to the wind. I relate to his complete devotion to something that doesn't really need him. To something that stings as it reminds him of his past - Beatrice - while he clearly revels in that pain it brings back for him. He wants to ruin his own life. The answer is just why, really, and I don't think even he knows that. I'll touch on this a bit later tho.

Lemony is, as we know, forever in love with Beatrice. Even after she broke off their marriage, after she married someone else, after she died: he worships her completely, and he loves her, but at the same time I think this is because he is someone who genuinely loves being in unrequited love... bc he could move on from her. Easily. Anyone can move on eventually. But even after she is long, long gone he clings onto her through every aspect of his art (his books, his dedications) and his life (researching the Baudelaires even though they are her and Bertrand's, keeping her list of reasons she couldn't marry him, a lock of her hair, etc) and he does this because he wants to be in a tragic, unrequited love. I relate to that. What is it Donna Tarrt says - a morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs? To me that is Lemony. He wants to live in this dark constant of loneliness and tragedy because he thinks it's what suits him. It's a bit ridiculous and it's a bit heartbreaking.

Anyway, moving on. To be easier on him, I'll be kind - Lemony is someone who loves. Yes, maybe too much, maybe in a way that is unhealthy, but he genuinely loves. He loves Beatrice. He loves literature. He loves his siblings. He loves VFD as much as he hates it. He loves the Baudelaire children, even though they have nothing to do with him, and he loves, well, I dont know. He loves the world around him though he is morbid and unhappy about it all. I suppose he loves the horridness of it. Oh and of course, he loves pistachios. (Me too.)

I hope this answers your ask, even though I just explained that all like a complete lunatic. I'm a bit sleep deprived so forgive me for that. To summarise, Lemony is a self-sabotaging book-smart idiot who doesn't just run away from his responsibilities, he fakes his death and gives himself new ones. He loves like a dog but to the detriment of everything around him. Yeah. I just think he is fascinatingly layered and yet so painfully readable because he wears his heart on his sleeve and he doesn't even care. I hope that in another lifetime he was happy.

[autisticlancemcclain]

For the amount of time Lance spent in the MedBay, he was still ridiculously twitchy around the pods. It was truly humiliating – and that’s just in his own mind. If the others were to see how the cheerful little beeps from the pods made him flinch, every time and without fail, he'd collapse in on himself.

Well, someone may ask, if the pods freak you out, why don’t you try getting injured less?

And it’s a decent suggestion, really. In his time on the Castle, Lance has genuinely done everything he can to watch where he’s going, take more careful steps. He can’t quite help all his injuries on missions – can’t let the others be out of commission, we’d collapse without them, protect them protect them protect them – but he’d honestly say that his problems lie less with his constant need for medical care and more in the amount of time he spends cleaning the room. Medical areas need to be constantly sterilized, you see, and that job falls on Lance.

Oh, that same someone may say, I suppose that makes sense. But if that’s the case, why don’t you try trading chores every once in a while? It might reduce your stress.

And that’s an excellent suggestion! Only, cleaning the MedBay is not exactly… well, technically, the job should already be switched around. Lance has just decided to quietly take on the task himself. It has nothing to do with the other paladin's abilities – Lance is sure that they’re plenty capable and thorough – but four or five months into their journey (or maybe six or seven, but it’s been so long now that Lance has forgotten) Lance started to notice a pattern. A familiar pattern.

A horrible pattern.

At home, in Varadero, he’s surrounded by amazing people. His Ma, the overworked and exhausted nurse, who keeps a smile on her face and works herself to the bone to keep her family afloat. Veronica, the astrophysicist, who never has and never will let anyone tell her she isn’t strong enough. Marco, the olympian, who’s the most patient man Lance has ever met. Luis, the mechanic, who is above all else soft and kind, and who cares more deeply than the deepest oceans. Lisa, the doctor, the advocate for those who are ignored. Rachel, the artist, who can look at the plainest canvas and see colours that have yet to be invented. His father, the ghost, who Lance does not remember, but whose stories of bravery and support Lance grew up hearing every bedtime, without fail.

In space, on the Castle, he is homesick in all his awe of his friends. The Princess, noble and regal and whose heart aches for every other soul who has ever lived. Shiro, who has been beaten down and terrorized and used but who stands up every day and smiles and cheers the rest of them on. Coran, who has lost more than Lance has ever known, but who continues to give and give of himself as if he is unafraid of eventually running dry. Hunk, kind and thoughtful and witty and endlessly loving. Pidge, smart as a whip and who loves her family more than anyone has ever loved anything ever before. Keith who is endlessly noble and brave and who has been hurt but who picks up his own pieces and uses them to heal others.

And then there is Lance – who is kind, but hotheaded, who is smart, but only just, who tries and tries but almost always falls short. Lance who is scared and Lance who thrives in structure but wilts in rigidity. Lance who contradicts himself and trips over air and struggles to find the right words and who, most simply, is not one of the greats.

It’s very easy to forget his value, when he’s surrounded by people the universe cannot afford to lose. So Lance does what he has always done, when his presence costs more than it is worth – he fills in the holes, and creates his own value. Often, his value is in service. If he can assure that the needs of the more valuable are met, then he is comfortable in knowing that he is of use. If the valuable need his help then he must be of some value himself, right?

As of now, the best way he can serve is to pick up the slack. Shiro has nightmares that keep him up at night? So did Ma, so did Lisa. He’s good at talking people back to sleep. Pidge needs someone around to be a testing dummy? Veronica had needed the same, once upon a time, before she’d gotten a real assistant. Coran needs some help in keeping the Castle up and running, in small repairs and regular maintenance? Lance has always been good with his hands, and grew up running in and out of Luis’s shop.

Eventually, after months of everyone getting busier and busier and more stressed by the second and Lance trying to subtly and smoothly lighten the load, some tasks fell to Lance as if they had always been his. MedBay duty was one of them.

Lance will do his duty.

He hopes he will one day be valuable enough to have a purpose that does not bring him so much pain.

He does not have very much hope.

[thevalleyisjolly]

Hmm, thinking about how one of the common characterizations of fey is that they’re often varying shades of self-centred - from self-absorbed to straight up selfish.  Everything, everything in the world, everything that matters, revolves around them and their feelings and their desires and their whims.  It’s that laser-focus of want and my amusement and my benefit and even my anger, me me me.  I want all the magic of the Bloom to myself, no matter the cost to everyone else.  I want power and reputation, no matter who I have to order around or step over or crush.  I want an advantageous match, no matter what I have to do to get it.

Which is why the Feywild is such a perfect setting for a Regency-inspired campaign (or vice versa), because Regency romances are built on messy characters in their own, tiny little world with their own wants and concerns which are both the most important thing in their life and also a little ridiculous - in a good way!  You have to laugh sometimes in order to cry.

And the ACOFAF cast is so good at understanding this setting, have created these wonderfully layered characters whose wants and concerns (big or small, serious or trivial) truly drive the story forwards:

I want to have fun and chaos, especially if it means playing with other people’s lives and feelings;

I want my family on the Material Plane safe and I will do whatever I have to in order to keep those portals open - not for the sake of sharing magic with the world, just for the things that are important to me;

I want to be loved for who I am and I want everyone to have love, even if what I think they should have isn’t the full story of what they want themselves, no matter how much it hurts others when I presume to manage their wants (my wants for them) on their behalf;

I want to prove to my mother that I am worthy of her regard and throne, so I will put myself forwards whenever I can this Bloom and be seen as a grown prince and a capable warrior and an eligible bachelor;

I want respect and recognition from my court that I will never have, but it’s fine because I know I’m a blunt object, my purpose is to serve and therefore I lay aside all my own wants except for that ongoing, fundamental desire to be recognized as I am, for the things I’ve done for their honour (because after all, that is all I’m good for and that is what they see me as and if I keep doing this long and well enough, they may after all recognize its value one day)

Then against all this there’s BINX.  Who has wants, yes, she wants the truth about who was responsible for the Court of Craft’s destruction, she wants everyone to have the possibility of magic, and she has burgeoning feelings for Andhera.  But what makes them stand out amidst this court of wonderfully, beautifully self-centred fey, is that they’re able to act beyond these interests, to show genuine generosity and care for others even when it has nothing to do with themselves. 

And this isn’t to say that the other characters aren’t generous or that they don’t care about each other.  They very clearly do care, and have amazing, complex relationships with each other that are both giving and receiving in turn.  What distinguishes BINX is how seldom her generosity comes with that layer of personal desire/want/advantage.  Unlike others, her generosity doesn’t come from honour or manners or social obligation (in the sense of societal expectations of conduct, though BINX considers it a personal obligation as a member of the Court of Craft).  They don’t show kindness to others as part of any scheme or power game, and they do it without expectation of any return. 

In a campaign where the main antagonists hoard magic and power, where all the characters are fey (known in the genre for deals and tricks and intricate rituals and self-absorption), BINX stand out with genuine, selfless kindness.  They didn’t have to give up one of their tokens to give their warlock such a powerful boost, they could have just told him what kind of monster they were facing.  She didn’t have to make such an effort with Wanessa, her well-being and comfort don’t (so far) have much to do with BINX’s own goals, but she did.   They could have just accepted Andhera into their court without asking to take out the shard, but they did so for no other reason than they care about him.

Which also isn’t to say that BINX is entirely altruistic.  After all, she’s still a fey and she’s still a person with her own interests: she came to the Bloom by means of deception and with a goal, and she has been gathering friends and allies not just for friendship’s sake but with the aim of finding people who will help her expose the truth.  But against the self-centred foils of both the fey court and the other PCs, BINX’s sympathy and selflessness stand out all the more because they have all the reason in the world not to do so.  She’s seen her entire court vanish and die because of the selfish actions of fey at this very Bloom.  They could hide away, live the rest of their life in the nooks and crannies of the Court of Wonder, focus on their own survival and not concern themselves with anyone else.

And yet.  Knowing the weight of what it entails, she chooses to continue the ways of the Court of Craft, community and comfort and creation, and in so doing keeps it alive.  They can’t imagine being removed and aloof from others, and it isn’t out of naivete about what the wider world entails because they know.  She knows what other fey and other courts are like, she has survived the consequences of their self-interest.  With all that, and they choose kindness and generosity without hesitation.  She still has her own interests -the truth, magic, feelings for Andhera- but they do not define her world.

Perhaps, living without the structure of a court (which was never very rigid and politically involved in the first place), they’ve been able to decide for themselves what really matters to them and who they want to be without that weight of expectation, and having seen a bigger picture of what does and does not ultimately matter, they thus chose freely to carry on the legacy and the values of her court.  Maybe, having seen selfishness at its worst, she’s determined to do better.  They could just be a generous person at heart.  Or all of the above at once!

But what a wonderful job the entire cast has done this season in bringing us these complex, nuanced characters that feel lived in, like real, messy people with their own lives and desires and intentions and relationships.  This season really is so very character-driven, with every character feeling a fully-realized person taking part in the story for their own reasons and very much motivated by those reasons.  Of course they were created with the setting in mind and there’s still a controlled structure to the story, but the cast are doing such a good job with the RP and the character choices that those meta elements of setting and plot blend in so that they appear to be made for the characters, not the other way around. 

Anyways, a heartfelt bravo to the entire ACOFAF team, and I can’t wait to see how this all ends next week.

[nosferatu-pvssy]

About the concept of "alternative universe" applied to the creation of the vc series.

Disclaimer: if the idea of this series being an au is something you enjoy or if it helps you in some way, then this post isn't about you. I'm just commenting the concept in itself, what I think about this as a way of dealing with radical changes. If you like to think of it as an au, don't mind me because I have nothing against you. I just want to express what I feel for this topic.

Lately I've been noticing that it's becoming a popular practice in many fandoms (so not only ours) to tell other people or to themselves "just take it as if it's an au" every time a umpteenth remake gets made and it's clearly of a lower quality than the original. What I ask myself is: is it really healthy for us fans to tell ourselves that whenever we see the story we love be portrayed by completely discarding the unexpressed potential of the original plot to replace it with what is more convenient for them to insert?

My theory is that this might be a coping mechanism to deal with the big disappointment that the directors are giving you so often that at this point we've reached an era where all the media that is surrounding us lately is only garbage. We literally have only garbage to watch. It's because you're noticing that some big damage has been done to the story or that there's the risk of it happening in the future. Trust your instincts, because they're telling you the truth. If it really was an au for you, you wouldn't have had that "oh, no. What are they doing..." feeling in your heart. You wouldn't have had that moment in which you had to tell yourself "ok, let's say it is an au. It's an au, it's an au..." to fix that sensation of strong disappointment in your heart.

If it was an au for real, the directors would have told the fans that it was. I say that it's a coping mechanism because lately we've been having only tv series and movies about remakes that are produced in great quantity and all at once. This speed in the filming process and oversaturation of the same kind of piece of media will inevitably lower the quality to the point of making it fit only to a very young audience or people with very low expectations. It's like when you hear people talking about how shoes (or any article of clothing, it's just an example) created handmade by expert artisans last longer and look better than shoes that to be producted in such impressive amounts they have to use ultra cheap materials and even cheaper sewing and assembling process to gain the maximum profit with the minimum effort. It wouldn't be possible to create something of high quality in such short times. And the prices are higher for artisans' creations, because you pay the quality of the materials and of the craft, while industrial products will always cost less because they are actually giving you less. The same is happening for shows, and for now I think that's what's happening with The vampire chronicles' one too.

Since I'm very passionate about cinematography, I watched many videos of famous directors and dubbers of classics. In interviews, when it came the moment of answering to questions like "what do you think about the modern style of production?" some of them said things like "I feel that there's a big difference since everything now gets created so fast. When I was younger, every classic had people behind it with great care for the details. And care for details, for quality, always takes time. High speed doesn't allow you to stop frequently to fix what's obsolete. You'd slow down the project."

Now, as I said earlier, if you genuinely like to imagine this show as an au and you're having fun with it, who am I to tell you to stop engaging with it? To stop creating fanarts, ffs, posts of any kind? What am I, a monster? It's ridiculously obvious that you MUST have fun with what you like. For example, I still remember when the news of the Atlantis' book arrived and the fandom got blown away by how crack this was for the story. It was already considered absurd the fact that Lestat had met God himself, so imagine the idea of them meeting MERMAIDS (we still weren't sure about aliens being involved. It was still a rumor at that point). But the idea of imagining them as mermaids was so fun to play with that it became an au and amazing content got created. If you are feeling this excitement, being against your approach would be wrong.

So I am talking to those who expected to have the full (and still for the major part unexplored even in the books) potential of this saga expressed by the tv series, instead of being substituted by the new plot invented by Amc. The ones who felt the pain of the damage that most probably has been done to the original story that Anne Rice fought (maybe a little too much) to make it reach the big screen and that now to convince themselves that there has been no damage at all (and to try to push themselves to like it anyway) they say "it's an au". Or because "it's because we don't have nothing else, so at least if I tell myself that it will be more bearable".

Now what I ask myself is: why are we doing this to ourselves? Why are we bowing our heads and opening our palms to accept the crumbles? Why the crumbles and not the whole meal like we deserve? Because that's what it feels we are gonna have, let's be honest. The crumbles of the original story with the rest completely invented by AMC to conveniently fit in their project to use this tv series to rebrand their channel, mutilating one big horror story to make it fit into the smaller box for tv series about "gothic romance" (as Rolin Jones said) and not about gothic horror as this story was meant to be.

Accepting to only receive the crumbles because "otherwise we won't have anything" is actually the main thing that will ultimately make us have nothing good. Because if you show the producers that you're not ok with them taking away everything that's inside to leave only the shell, they'll stop and understand that they have to work better to gain your attention again; they need their audience to make their business go on. While if you hate this project but you don't say or do nothing about it to express your doubts, then you'll exactly get what you hate.

Now you'll tell me: how do you know that they're doing a mess? It's not a matter of knowing for sure, it's about being free to express our doubts according to the many official AND VERY QUESTIONABLE TBH infos that have been communicated to us. Just like the ones that are excited about this have the right to party, I have the right to be openly upset because not everybody can like what they've communicated through the interviews. I mean, look at what they're planning to do to Night Island:

How can I not be upset or at least confused about this? Every night is a near-disaster? Night island? A place that is entirely owned by one of the most feared vampires that would burn you to the fucking ground immediately if you start misbehaving in a territory that is so strictly his? What's the point of starting from zero a territory born with the intention of being under his control since day one, then? Oh yeah, let's invest on properties that will only give me problems :D

And since secrecy is one of the vital things for the Ricean vampire society to coexist peacefully with humans, why there is this distinction between these vampires with even less braincells than Homer Simpson and the very few smart vampires that have to look after them like babysitters?? Where are we, in a kindergarten?? Aren’t these idiots interested in saving their own asses by hiding? What do they gain from going apeshit?

And most importantly: Where is Armand in all of this? Is he too busy staring at a wall in his toilet while he pretends to poop? 

And wasn’t Akasha awakening from her slumber the plot of Night Island? Why the hell is it irresponsible vampires now?? I think I can tell you why: This is happening because..............they’re not really able to write their interactions complex and intelligent as they are in the og story to make this tv show interesting enough to keep the audience hooked for many seasons. Since they’re monsters, it’s easy money to just play the card of them simply going around killing people with The Squad running after their asses to save the day. I wonder if they’ll call Scooby-Doo and his gang and I hope that Daphne and Velma will be turned into vampires. I’m also ready to ship Scooby with Mojo, tbh.

And this is not the only thing that for now seems like lazy writing, tbh.

Take Lestat, for example. They thought: what is the easiest and most effective way to make him look cool without us putting too much effort? Let’s make him look like a basic dangerous vampire. That’s it. That seems his entire personality right now and I hope I’m wrong because tbh the first impression that book Lestat gives to someone is always something that I imagine very similar to how Jamie Campbell Bower is in Will, so this young man with an attitude and even phisical appearance that screams “Not only I’m mean and I can only mean trouble in your life, but I’m also so beautiful that you can’t deny me”. Like, even his beauty LOOKS MEAN, because it's canon that he appears like the villain just by his looks (which amc Lestat clearly doesn't). But it’s not only a question of being mean. Lestat is a manipulative and mischievous person, he’s malicious and sly. His evilness is more tending to the “queen bee” in a high school behavior, more petty and not refined, than the simple “oooh im a scary vampire”/”Louis I want to know you :)” with such a...much sweeter behaviour, it seems? He looks like...JUST SOME BLONDE GUY TBH. AND HE’S JACKED?? WHERE IS HIS FELINE BEAUTY?? HIS LEAN BODY? And do you call THAT gorgeous blonde hair??

And also, let’s remember that Lestat isn’t exactly.............refined and patient enough to lure a human in his web with such a calm way of carrying himself that oscillates with creepy/violent moments. That is Armand, remember?

Lestat’s technique is always tending towards a sensual seduction, there’s always something that you can feel (as a human) that is driven by malicious sexual lust and that he’s up to no good. He calls himself gentleman death because he knows that for a short period of time he has to fake that with the human he wants to kill. But with the ones he wants to turn and keep to himself for eternity, he doesn’t have the patience to use the mask of the gentleman he’s only able to keep on for 5 minutes because he knows they are bound to have him around every night whether they like it or not. And here he switches to his sly type of approach: since he didn’t want to simply kill Louis, to turn him in order to exploit him for his fortune he used that moment of weakness due to Paul’s death, so not through romantic conversations (or any type of conversation at all). Lestat saw Louis’ money and inherited it by “marrying” Louis through the Blood. With Antoine and Claudia the same, turned in order to gain something from them. Lestat is a brute, always perceived as a brute by Louis at the beginning. Louis is the smart one of the couple, remember? Louis had the chance to study more, to be taught how to behave like a true gentleman, Lestat sadly not due to the difficult situation of his family. And not only that. Lestat among the perks he has (so yeah, not only flaws) has this pretty comical side, he has a strong and very characteristic dark sense of humor that I think should have shone through already...and let me tell you, I think we won’t see it even in the future.

Another example of lazy writing is how they changed Louis’ personality to make him have “more of a spine”. As if the original Louis wasn’t enough. When I see all of these people saying “now I like Louis more, before he was just a whining little bitch that I couldn’t stand” I wonder if they like Amc Louis because he’s an “upgraded/better version” of this character or simply someone else that they put in the place of a character that they actually never liked. Because let’s tell the truth to ourselves: Louis has never been a character easy to love. People tried to sell us this idea because he’s the first vampire protagonist we meet, because he’s exceptionally handsome and because he has been labeled as the most empathetic vampire when actually his difficult position in his very first vampire years pushed him to be almost an antagonist for himself and for Claudia.

I suspect that Louis is one of those people who tend to froze and almost “play dead” when they’re overwhelmed by external threats. He tries to keep calm as much as he can, almost dissociating in his poised gentleman role that serves as comfort zone until reaching the breaking point in which he explodes and kicks everyone’s asses.

But what does he do of detrimental in those passive moments?

He doesn’t do nothing to solve the problem until someone else takes the lead (with all the due exceptions). Claudia, Armand and Lestat had this role in his life of those years, all 3 of them carrying Louis who only accepted their will. A clear example of how unnerving his behavior was is proven by when Claudia said that line about how despite the fact that Louis is the love of her life, he’s so unassertive that she has arrived to hate him. Louis had become a deathweight in Claudia’s and also his life. He wouldn’t have even thought about searching for someone who would have efficiently substituted him when he was thinking about leaving with Armand if it wasn’t for Claudia herself forcing her will on him to create Madeleine for her. Always Claudia the driving force, always others. So much stillness in him that it brought Claudia to scream at him “do you even love me?? Do you even care about me??”. 

The og Louis doesn’t run away from Lestat, he was already calmly walking towards death. That was Daniel, remember? Daniel ran away from Armand because he was rightfully scared to be killed by a vampire. But since that ship is no longer existing then we can use their characteristics because who cares, right?

All these changes in his personality have been made because in the era we find ourselves now, if the protagonists are not relatable to us then we loose our interest for the show. If we don’t see our mannerisms replicated on screen (even by monsters), the mass screams “booooriiiing”. The attention has shifted from the wonder of discovering new worlds, new behaviors we would have never expected to “oooh I would have done that too. This is a great series.”

If we can’t make memes about that character, if we can’t find scenes where we can scream “OMG MEEEEE. me when...you when....your mom when...” we discard it. Louis has the role to be us, now. Not to be himself, no. To be US (while Lestat looks like an npc random vampire).

As for Claudia...look that girl is really stunning. Every time I look at her I admire her beauty and she looks really talented. As I said under another post, she has a huge potential as a vampire in the series. If the series had been made faithfully, she would have deserved a very important role because she has a very piercing presence. Only not for Claudia. I’m sorry, she’s too old and being a teenager girl forever is not as frightening as Rolin Jones tried to fool us into believing. She can live her life normally. The whole point of Claudia was that she was destined to die since her birth. She was destined to tragedy. But she as a character makes me think that the only resolution was that of making the vampire chronicles as a GOOD animated series, as macabre as possible.

And can we talk about the fact that they’ve set the whole story closer to our current era because it was clearly cheaper and easier to buy everything necessary for a roaring ‘20s scenario and for our current times?? Like literally zero effort... EVEN USING COVID AS PART OF THE PLOT, WHERE THE FUCK ARE WEEEEEE do they really think we are interested to this universe because we want to see OURSELVES in it and not THEIR story?? What sense does it have for me to be interested in watching something that I already saw, something that I EVEN LIVED and not their mysterious and foreign world??

AND HE EVEN USED AS AN EXCUSE THE FACT THAT HE CHOSE THIS TO MAKE IT MORE RELATABLE TO US (in full 2020 tv series production style, my compliments). NO GIRL YOU DID IT BECAUSE YOUR BUDGET FOR THIS SHOW SEEMS 5 CENTS WITH A BUBBLEGUM ATTACHED TO IT. DO YOU THINK WE’RE FUCKING STUPID OR SOMETHING???

*deep sigh* ANYWAY, I know that now I’ll only be taken as an evil person or something like that, but believe me: I’m the first one who is hoping I’m wrong. What would I gain by being right? I’d only have a lame series to watch if I am. If I win this “argument”, I can only loose.

Below the cut there is what I think about the references they said they’re gonna use for the Night Island series:

 I don’t know guys...even the reference they gave us. I watched The White Lotus to be sure of what I wanted to talk about and...what the fuck? A drama-comedy where there’s Jennifer Coolidge with her usual type of character (which I love because she’s an icon, but what does her kind of humor have to do with the themes of the vampire chronicles?); two girls that when they get stoned they do the asmr, in which they make noises close to each other’s faces; a father that shows his dick on camera to talk about his balls on and on. Anyway, it’s not a bad series by itself. I’ve enjoyed it because very important themes have been discussed, but HOW they did it is what I don’t like for the vc series. How can I say it...it’s like seeing very important matters portrayed with a style that “stays in the middle”. It oscillates between the middle and the superficial and I ask myself: “Is this the right approach for the vampire chronicles?”. For the White Lotus series it was, because that’s that tv series’ style and they also wanted to keep it short. But is it ok for the vampire chronicles’ series? I don’t think so, but eh since it’s only a “gothic romance” now...

And also: the fact of going through important issues of our society as the main theme is something that I can see fit for a series about humans as protagonists, but is it as the main theme of a vampire story? Of course things that will be relatable to us will be present in their human past for obvious reasons, it's inevitable. But as the main focus like the producers of the White Lotus did? Idk, I hope they'll handle it well because it's something tricky to do.

And as for the second reference: I thought that The Viper Room was another series or a movie from which taking inspiration but it's actually a real place? And it's the bar where RIVER PHOENIX DIED?? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?? 

[cheesewizardry]

Magic dialogue

I am new to this app and I cant fi d the original post but this is following the post with the idea that wizards should trust their spells as much as software engineers trust their programs, which is to say, not at all.

“So what new spells are you working on?”

“A teleportation spell, Im trying to get it to be more cost effective than Malcazzar’s”

“Oh really? What language are you using?”

“Elder futhark”

“El-Im sorry what!? Elder futhark? Not even Younger? I mean dont get me wrong, I love Elder, my staff only has Elder runes, you cant get any simpler than one rune, one effect. But, for teleportation!? Its the most basic elemental runic language in existence, but trying to get any effect outside of the basics increases the size of the scroll like nothing else. And teleportation is notoriously tricky.”

“Yeah its been tough, and the scrolls are getting pretty long.”

“I mean are you running into recursion? Just patching the kinks in the code would require quite a few runes, and then more runes to fix those problems, not to mention all the other effects and power sources.”

“Yeah well Elder is the language i know best, and its actually showing promise. Since the system is so basic each rune has quite a lot of possible effects, its just a matter of finding the right grammar to express it. Ive found a few good combinations, now its just a matter of condescending it.”

“I see, say, what kind of power source are you using?”

“Right now to save my own mana Im using wall power, im just running it through a standard elemental conversion matrix to get it to interface well.”

“Oh christ, how many times have to tripped a breaker cause you tripped over it?”

“Only about 3 times or so”

Both laugh.

“Well what about you, what are you working on”

“Oh im forcing myself to learn Icelandic Stave magic.”

“Oh no, why?”

“Oh im a masochist, but really im using it as an introductory system for geometric magics. I tried learning alchemical circles in school but the last time i used one I messed up the power source portion and it ‘law of equalivilant exchanged’ it’s way into eating a hole in my floor.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad.”

“You dont know how close my foot was to it.”

Both laugh, the second wizard nodding, “yeah I can see how that would dissuade you”

“Thats the best lesson my teacher ever taught me. ‘A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise man learns from other’s mistakes’ he lost three fingers on one hand before he realized he should have been poking things using a stick.”

“So he started using a stick?”

“No after losing a finger you now have a designated hand for poking things”

Both laugh, the first wizard speaks again “so yeah im hoping by dipping my toes in, pun intended, this time into basic geometry Ill be able to finally wrap my head around those blasted archaic instructions, i could never keep the angles right, i always ended up with a stray line here, or an aberrant circle there, when i was lucky the spell would fail, when i was unlucky the spell would fail spectacularly and we would then have to hunt down what spawned from it.”

“Oh I definitely get that, i once fell asleep during the class where we learned mentally projecting fine detail into the work as it was formed with alchemical circles, our task was to recreate a bust of merlin from blank stone. Well the circle i drew was great, but i must have been dreaming of maidens because the bust ended up having one, as well quite the mockery of a face.” Both laugh, “yeah i got in some trouble for that one”

“Right now im trying to get my team’s head wizard to finally accept that we dont need to spend the ridiculous rates for ‘genuine’ ingredients when substitutes with some adjustment work just as well. We almost got into a full blown duel when he asserted that he could only accept real basilisk petrified eggs. For one, basilisk’s are notoriously kept in terrible conditions by crackpots, 2nd its three times the price of any chunk of basalt and all you need to do is look up one formula to calculate how much quarts and marble dust to add. He said ‘oh but i dont want to add anymore ingredient circles’ like bitch, adding ingredient circles and three lines of runic code to incorporate them is the easiest thing to do, its literally the building blocks of spell craft. And dont get me started on unicorn tears. Everyone worth their wand knows that its as simple as adding sea salt to holy water. ‘But its not genuine unicorn tears’ he says, and im like fucker, make a unicorn cry, see how you feel about yourself, then tell me how much cruelty is worth for ‘genuine’ components, the twat.”

[fizzingwizard]

I am sick!! Surprising no one.

Happy thing today - I discovered a new brand of iced milk tea in the vending machine outside my apartment. It costs only 100 yen (a lot of drinks that used to be 100 yen have shot up to 110, 120, 130 this year) and it's a normal amount of drink inside. With milk tea it's often too sweet for me, but this one is really nice! Just lightly sweet and very fragrant. I bet it will taste great when it's heated up in fall too. Cheap, tasty, and nearby... yess I can be happy as long as it continues to be stocked, lol x'D coincidentally i watched a vid today where a person was on a business class JAL flight and ordered royal milk tea, the same kind that comes in a can in vending machines for 150 yen, only it cost 300 of course because you're drinking it on an airplane!! lmao

now work stuff!

It's been a pretty uggghhh September. I had a lot on my plate, and then I got bad news that my work partner, the only person on staff with me at the school over the past four years who didn't quit last spring, is going to quit in October. Not only is she going to quit, but the company doesn't have a replacement for her... I'm really upset, not with her for quitting, because if anything she's smarter than me for taking the plunge lol, but because I'm going to be left with just my 19-year-old newbie coworker and a random rotation of subs who aren't always even teachers themselves for some indefinite amount of time, with a class of 20 two and three year olds. And the company has been pretending the understaffing is a problem caused by so many people quitting at once - as if we hadn't been understaffed for years, and as if the reasons those employees chose to quit were nothing to do with how the company treated them... -.-'

So, to be honest, although I've said it in the past I've reached a point where it's more true when I say I really am job hunting again. It's a struggle, because no matter how bad things get here, I do genuinely enjoy working with very young children. I don't mind changing diapers and I don't mind tantrums and I've learned so much, I feel, about people in general from observing how different and how thoughtful my students are. I think it's a pretty sweet deal to work somewhere you can get constant hugs, play pretend, and celebrate holidays as part of your work. There are a lot of stressors as well, but they all go away when I see my kids.

But I'm so frustrated with the company. An entire staff quits (technically two requested transfers, a third was just transferred because reasons, and two stayed on as subs with the intention of quitting, one of whom has already done so - but everyone else besides me and my co-teacher genuinely quit) and their reaction is "they're a clique who did this on purpose to harm the company." Instead of "what did we do which drove away these hard-working, kind, experienced teachers who daily went above and beyond both for their students and for their coworkers?" Like. I'm not saying no mistakes were made by anyone. I just think it's ridiculous that the small mistakes that were made were treated so harshly, while little to no recognition, let alone help, was given for the very real issues we were handling. Everyone was a hard worker who I relied on and enjoyed working with. I'm not a slacker. But many of my coworkers worked even harder than me. And the company just did nothing to try to keep them. Also, that one teacher I mentioned who was transferred for mysterious "reasons" - I'm really bitter about that now because obviously we needed her here! If she wasn't against leaving, why did they make her?? She was transferred nearby (to a school that did also have some staffing issues but nowhere near as bad as ours) and is often at our school anyway filling in because there are no subs :) So dumb.

I'm especially concerned about my co-teacher quitting because as I said, my other co-teacher is only 19. She's great, but she can't help that she's young and new. And not only do I have a large class of 20 mostly still two-year-olds, but I have several emotionally challenging ones who need a lot of one-on-one attention. It's not just about how tiring it is, it's also about safety. If I'm the only experienced teacher, and I have to rely on my newbie co-teacher and some random third person who doesn't know the routine or the kids, that opens the door to so many problems. I'm the one who knows how to handle those emotionally-challenging kids. (Side note: at the start of the year I was told that my class was getting most of the challenging kids because my co-teacher has some kind of specific child development certification that made her the best choice of teacher for them. But... she is quitting... so... lol) But then I can't lead the rest of the class when they're having meltdowns. My co-teacher will have to do that. While she is doing very well, she hasn't found her teacher voice yet. She also doesn't know how to anticipate what kids will do unexpectedly. And she'll be supported by some random person... I don't like it at all. And I feel anything that happens, I will be blamed for. Like, even if I'm not blamed directly, there's a difference between not being directly blamed and getting glowing feedback in your file. The other two-threes class has also been through ups and downs and has as many kids as we do. But at least two of three teachers are experienced and the one new one has been with us almost since the beginning of he school year and isn't fresh out of high school. I just feel afraid my class will fall short and despite the challenges we faced we'll still be compared.

Anyway. Like I said, I'm pretty decided to quit, even though I'm not happy about it. The question is what to do next. Of course I'd love to stay in pre-K. But if I'm quitting anyway, it would be nice to work somewhere I can make more money. I don't know where that would be. It probably won't be education. I feel really at sea right now. I never wanted an office job, I never wanted to work for money, and I'm afraid I'll just hate it. But on the other hand, I do need money. I have savings but not a lot. And my job here is physically demanding to the point that I'm so exhausted every day. I don't get to sit down. For eight hours I'm chasing kids, squatting, lifting, running up and down stairs, carrying baskets, scrubbing floors, setting up and breaking down tables... It gets to be a lot doing it every day, although it's put me in better shape than I was even in college, lol. But I wouldn't mind a break :P and maybe just go to the gym like a normal person, lol.

So I'm looking around but I honestly don't really know what I'm gonna find, if anything, that will suit me and I'll suit it. And I'm not unrealistic about salary either - I'm not expecting to make a ton more than I do now. Just idk, more. We'll see I guess. I really don't want to leave Japan. My options here are limited as a foreigner (if I knew IT or something I'd be a little better off) but my fingers are crossed I'll somehow find a job that pays at least a little higher than what I get now.

Since I'm feeling pretty firm about quitting at the end of my contract, I'm seizing the last of my PTO to take my first trip home since before covid. Haven't bought the tickets yet though. That's gonna hurt ;___; not just the money but last time I looked I couldn't find flights that would get me home in less than 30+ hours... sigh. Fingers crossed there too buhahahha

[collymore]

Narcissistic and totally self-entitled with it!

By Stanley Collymore Personally and unequivocally from me you self-entitled pillocks can all get stuffed! As frankly, I am thoroughly sick and bloody well tired of these airline stories, actually attendant with these obviously, clearly dimwitted but, all the same, undeniably arrogant and simply obviously too, significantly undoubtedly intellectually challenged airline passengers who quite stupidly incessantly think that life clearly is or really should essentially be distinctly all about them. Nevertheless from a truly intelligent perspective however what's now quite naturally blazoned by the tabloids basically ridiculously as a serious problem is evidently to thinking minds though categorically nothing of the kind and for obvious and literally clear-sighted reasons! For if you book a flight to wherever you personally and freely choose to go to; and also for whatever reason that choice is actually made; the exact moment that you effectively book that plane seat having clearly specified your exact requirements; distinctly told by the airline involved, that your stated individual requirements are absolutely ideally in order; you then cheerfully go ahead with that booking and naturally pay the full requisite cost for the seat which you've personally selected and have been allocated, that seat simply effectively and literally unequivocally becomes yours. And if subsequently to the aforementioned and distinctly obviously catalogued actions, some irrefutably ignorant prat of whatever gender, age or race and with a vilely rather evidently perceived notion of their own obviously insular societal or racial importance, and insolently too basically viewed as undeniably truly infinitely superior to your own arbitrarily, and most haughtily also incredibly determines that they do much prefer the seat which you're in to the one that they have rather properly been allocated, and so it is only proper, that you're fittingly moved to facilitate their demand. The pompous audacity of actually assuming that one's haughty demands spurred on by their pressing need for the alleviation of a genuine problem or more realistically nothing more relevantly essential than hollow excuses, literally galvanized by nothing more pertinent than basically dumb hubris really on the requester's part, simply to get someone to move from where they rather rightfully are, so they can then grab and make full use of that distinct seating location which they neither booked nor paid for. And effectively, isn't something that any really right minded person would regard as fair, or regard as a request to be generally acceded to. And significantly why should they? Since quite basically, if it's all that important for others: effectively family members or friends, to essentially sit together during a plane flight, then surely and similarly rather intelligently, they should've obviously planned to do so in advance, as well as made the relevant arrangements and essentially pay for it all upfront; not simply wilfully omit to do so for reasons known only to themselves. Then foolishly or arrogantly expect those who've actually meticulously observed the requisite regulations evidently in place, by very logically sensibly financially forking out for their own distinct requirements to then quite arbitrarily and similarly be automatically inconvenienced into invalidating their own clearly lawful, and very moral right to be precisely where they're presently sitting; simply for the rather sick and basically arrogant chancers to hubristically seek to dislodge the obvious rightful owner from where they are is rather morally amoral in every discernible way. (C) Stanley V. Collymore 19 July 2023. Author's Remarks: Self-entitlement, a quite malevolent and similarly too a rather sick and evidently pathetic characteristic that has always infested the white British population, a state of affairs endured by the fact that Britain once had an empire and a reality that has ludicrously and quite laughably become a delusional safety crutch for a quite significant number of these same white Britons, now that that said empire is no longer a reality except in their very sick and actually pathetic minds, hence the blatant, obsessional preoccupation with Brexit, even though it's undeniably a hugely unmitigated failure with these prime idiots kidding themselves they're so much better off firmly standing up to the rest of the world when nothing at all of the sort is discernibly happening and it's all very essentially, distinctly nothing but a fictional mirage rapidly circulating through the generally, delusional minds of white Brits and their non-white House Nigger and Coconut Useful Idiots! People who find it naturally impossible to quite realistically come to terms with a modern 21st Century with its distinct emphasis on equality, meritocracy and unbiased democracy, so instead rather asininely staunchly cling in their inferior state of mind to an outdated effectively Middle Ages, obviously unaccountable, and an entrenched monarchical system firmly supported by its hereditary class of hangers on who ensure that the very beneficial class system they essentially thrive on remains intact and effectively keeps the inferior minded serfs duly in their place and clearly fawning to them. Hardly surprising therefore that this pernicious and sickeningly odious concept of one-upmanship so endemically engrained in British culture clearly carries on quite rampantly in the 21st Century as it has always so characteristically and invasively done during the Dark and Middle Ages! Even when it comes down to distinctively absolutely puerile matters of seating arrangements on commercial airline flights. To be perfectly honest with you, were I ever having taken all the requisite steps to ensure I had the seat I wanted on any commercial flight, paid for that convenience and to then subsequently find myself quite distinctively and selfishly put in such an invidious position where I was automatically expected to fully comply with the selfish demands of others and specifically people who I didn’t know or actually hadn’t even previously met, I know precisely what my automatic verbal response would be. And you don’t have to be psychic or a mind reader to work out that one out!

[shipacarhawaii]

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