#Girl With Golden Eyes 2017

[bro-atz]

"they're like ocean waves"

in which: every time you see mingyu, you're hit with feelings of melancholy, nostalgia, and regret.

pair: non-idol!mingyu/author!afab!reader

word count: 7.7k

content: heavy angst, smut x 2!, slight hurt/comfort?, reader lives near the beach, reader is a loner, probably the worst communication you will ever see, bedroom sex, beach sex (they do it on a towel and under an umbrella no sand goes anywhere pls), romantic sex, oral sex, a pregnancy and a miscarriage, unprotected sex (PLS REMEMBER TO WRAP UP IRL!), completely consensual! and a happy ending i promise

rated: R | nsfw — minors do not interact

author's note: i actually wrote this as a very self indulgent fluff/angst y e a r s ago (2017) and stumbled upon it the other day, so i decided to fix her up, expand on her as an adult (aka add nsfw scenes lol), and reintroduce her to the world... also thank you sososo much to @yunhoszn for helping me work some details through!

You hated the ocean. You hated the beach. You hated the salty sea breeze that would hit your nose and last all day in your hair and on your skin. The worst part was that you hated the memories, and you hated the man that brought the memories.

His name was Kim Mingyu, and his name left a bad taste in your mouth. What was once sweet and rolled off your tongue like a knife through warm butter you now hesitated to utter and choked you like the salt in the ocean, in the sea. In complete honesty, the name itself was so foreign at that point, but his eyes, those eyes that promised her empty lies, his eyes were so darned familiar that you couldn't help but remember them.

You were usually cooped up inside the house frequently as you slaved away at your endless manuscripts that kept piling up but never saw the light of day, and you would force yourself to take breaks. Yet, the second you stepped foot outside, you froze. You were terrified that you were going to run into him because you genuinely wanted nothing to do with him at that point. So, you usually stayed at home, and you drowned in words and papers.

One day, though, you were forced to go outside. Although you hated the beach, you needed to head back to the beach just one last time to develop the setting for your story. You pulled yourself to the beach and stood with your toes buried in the sand and your arms crossed over your chest. There was a beach towel you had laid down on the ground and an umbrella driven into the sand that went over the towel, but you couldn't bring yourself to sit just yet. The warm ocean breeze swept through your hair as you gazed at the setting sun. Orange hues filled your vision as you thought back to the first time you met him, the first time you set foot on the beach.

"Hey there. What's a pretty girl like you doing alone on a beach like this?"

You were sitting on a beach towel on the sand and enjoying the view one fine evening. The sky was painted with different warm colors, and it was truly beautiful. You were so enamored by the sky that you didn't even bother to look in the direction of the person who spoke to you. That, and you kind of wanted to be left alone because his pick up line was a little too sleazy for you.

"I'm enjoying the view," you answered simply.

"Mind if I join you?" the man asked.

You were so ready to tell him off, but he was saved by his devilish good looks. You looked to see him, and you were met with the view of the most breathtaking young man in the most breathtaking backdrop. His golden, sun-kissed skin glimmered in the setting sun, and his eyes sparkled like the ocean when the sun hit it just right. His hair was wet with ocean water and swept back, little beads of water dotting his neck, shoulders, and chest. He shot you the most marvelous smile, stunning you into complete silence. You barely managed to nod, the man sitting down on the beach towel right next to you.

Originally, you had your legs crossed and your back slightly hunched over, but you were suddenly so self-conscious in your two-piece swimsuit around this stunning man that sat next to you, so you hugged your knees to your chest, doing your best to cover up most of your body.

You couldn't help but glance to your side every so often to catch the side profile of the man, and he would glance back, causing you to look away abruptly. That was the extent of it that day. The two of you merely sat on the beach together and shared stolen glances, the sound of the ocean waves crashing filling the silence between the two of you.

What was crazy to you was that it became a recurring thing. You were at the beach every single day for an entire week partly because you actually needed to get into the right mood to work on your latest manuscript, and partly because you were hoping that you would run into the beautiful man; and you did. Every single day for an entire week, the man would meet you at the same spot around the same time and just enjoy the view of the setting sun with you before leaving once the sky got dark and the moon was starting to rise.

The two of you had yet to speak until one week later; you mustered up all of your courage and finally decided to interrupt the crashing waves to talk to him.

"I don't believe I've introduced myself," you stated as you turned to face him.

You stuck your hand out and told him your name, a slight look of shock crossing his face, only to be replaced by the friendliest smile you had ever seen. Your heart thudded wildly in your chest as you tried to figure out what took you aback the most: his gorgeous smile, his warm, inviting hand, or his eyes— his wonderful, sparkling eyes. He took your hand and held it lightly as he said, "Kim Mingyu."

That was all he said. He only told you his name that day.

As the suns kept setting, and as the days rolled by, you found yourself more and more enthralled with the ethereal being that kept appearing before you. Thankfully, you talked a little more day by day, and day by day, you learned more and more about Kim Mingyu. Not only had you learned more and more about Kim Mingyu, but you also got closer and closer to him as well.

First, your shoulders brushed. Next, you were bumping shoulders. Your fingers touched and laced with each other. Your head leaned onto his shoulder, his arm wrapped around your waist, and you gazed at each other fondly. You got closer to each other gradually, naturally, easily.

At the time, everything seemed so simple for you. You had gone to the beach to enjoy the orange sunset and get inspired, but you ended up enjoying Mingyu's sparkling, hopeful eyes more. You enjoyed the way he would talk to you about anything and everything while lightly flirting with you in between conversations. You liked how his eyes would completely light up when he talked about the things he was passionate about, how his smile would get wider as you showed interest in the things he liked, and how he was so completely focused on every single word you said when you told him about the things you liked, the stories you were working on, and even mundane things like how your day was going.

The day that made your heart beat so fast that you wanted it to stop beating so that you could finally breathe was the day he kissed you. You were talking animatedly about God knows what when you saw his slightly narrowed gaze and his subtle smile. 

"W-What? What is it?" you stuttered, suddenly startled by the way his hand moved from your waist up to your ribcage.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered as leaned in closer to you, his face mere centimeters from yours. "You always look so beautiful when you smile and laugh..."

Your heart skipped several beats for several reasons: the words leaving his mouth, his hand pulling you into him, and his nose brushing against yours. His lips were dangerously close to yours, but they didn't meet yours until you quickly moved forward and left a peck on his. He exhaled softly, a smile playing on his lips before he kissed you again. His hand moved from your body to the back of your head, his fingers running through the roots and massaging your head lightly.

At first, his kisses started tenderly, his soft lips just pressing against yours over and over again, but when you moved your hand to cup his cheek, he couldn't help but take it one step further (not that you were complaining). His lips sucked gently on your lower lip before taking it in between his teeth and tugging lightly, making you moan slightly. You moved your hands to his bare waist and gripped his hips as if it would help you keep your grip on reality, but your mind was slowly melting, and you were sucked into his affection to the point where you didn't even realize he had you pinned to the beach towel you had been sitting on.

The sun was still taking its sweet time descending into the ocean when you brought Mingyu back to your place. Mingyu was bathed in the golden light that seeped through the window in your bedroom as he knelt on the bed before you. He removed the white button-up he never had buttoned up, giving you a complete view of his muscles. You had seen him shirtless a countless number of times, but that didn't stop your heart from threatening to leap out of your chest.

Mingyu silently held his hands out for you to take, guiding you so that you were kneeling on the bed as well so that he could hold your waist with a firm but gentle grip. When his hand slipped behind your back and brought you closer to him, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. He kissed you passionately several times before brushing his nose against your jawline so he could leave kisses along the curve of your neck. You sighed sensually when you felt him trail his kisses along your shoulder, his fingers moving up to slip the strap of your pale sundress off your shoulder.

However, Mingyu's patience wore thin. He bunched up the fabric of your sundress and pulled it off you, leaving you in nothing but your panties— but you were quick to take those off yourself because you, too, were impatient. His eyes scanned you from head to toe, taking in every square inch of your bare body. You were starting to feel self-conscious, but he didn't give you the chance to doubt yourself more. He pulled you flush against him and kissed you hungrily, his fingers dragging along the curve of your waist before he wrapped his arms around you and slowly laid you down on the bed.

Mingyu knelt between your legs. He trailed his kisses down your neck, over your collarbones, and to your breast. He licked your nipple before taking your breast into his mouth, both of his hands moving to massage your breasts. He looked up at you with lust filled eyes as he sucked painfully hard on your tits, your back arching as you let out a pleasure-filled whimper. It did not help when he switched breasts, making sure he gave both of them equal amounts of love.

"Ah—! Mingyu..." you sighed blissfully when he moved away from your breasts to suck on your clit. That sigh turned into a loud whimper when he fully committed to eating you out, his mouth slurping on your arousal. You cursed under your breath and ran your fingers through his hair when he slipped two of his fingers into your cunt.

Mingyu refused to let up. He ate you out as if he was a starved man, unable to get enough of your sweet taste. You could help but roll your hips in rhythm as you chased your high. What did it for you was him sitting up and fingering you hard, his fingers rubbing against your G-spot with enough force and speed to make you cum. Your cunt quivered as you came, a sweet, loud moan leaving your lips and echoing in your bedroom and Mingyu's ears.

Your chest heaved as you gasped and tried to regulate your breathing. Through half-lidded eyes, you watched Mingyu move back towards you. He brought the two fingers he had buried in your cunt to your lips. You looked up at him as you ran your tongue along his fingers before taking them into your mouth and sucking them. Mingyu bit his lower lip, a smirk threatening to cross his face as he watched you listen to his silent instructions so obediently.

"God..." he whispered when he took his fingers out of your mouth and brought his face down, his lips ghosting over yours. "God..."

He gave you a good taste of yourself when he kissed you, his tongue diving deep into your mouth. While you couldn't get enough of the way he kissed you with such intensity, you wanted more. You felt empty now that his fingers weren't inside you, and you needed him to fill you up again. You brought your knee up between his legs and rubbed against his insanely stiff crotch, the man breaking off the kiss immediately to inhale sharply. Looks like he couldn't wait much longer either.

You pushed yourself up and leaned on your elbows when Mingyu moved away from you completely. Hooking his thumb into the waistband of his shorts, he tugged them down slowly, his other hand pulling his erect cock out of his shorts in the process. You couldn't help but widen your eyes when you saw his length and girth, your heart thudding faster at the thought of having something so massive inside you.

Mingyu took off his shorts and dropped them off the side of the bed while stroking his cock. The bedsheets rustled as he moved so that he was right before you once again. You heard him chuckle lightly when you gulped nervously seeing his cock closer. It was twitching and raring to go, and while your body craved him, your mind was swirling with worry.

"I'll go slow, I promise," Mingyu whispered as he read your thoughts.

You felt your face heat up slightly— you didn't realize that you weren't being conspicuous with your feelings at all and were slightly embarrassed. You didn't have much time to sit in the embarrassment, though, because Mingyu started rubbing the tip of his cock along your folds. You felt it prod inside you a couple of times, but he had yet to fully enter.

The anticipation was driving you crazy. You flung your head back and arched your back while whining, your entire body craving him.

"M-Mingyu... Hurry," you whined quietly.

"What's the rush?" he asked somewhat cheekily as if he was trying to get a rise out of you, as if he was trying to get you to beg for it.

You whimpered and whined, the words refusing to formulate. You just wanted him. Plain and simple. You looked up at him with desperate eyes when he placed his hand next to your head, his face hovering above yours. A quick look of surprise crossed his face, making your heart skip a beat. He looked down and guided his cock to your entrance once more, preparing to enter you.

"All right, sweetheart," you shivered hearing his choice of nickname for you. "I'm going to start, okay?"

You nodded, and Mingyu started moving. His cock made its way inside you, spreading you wide open, filling your vision with fireworks. You choked on a gasp as his cock seemed to just keep going and going. When he bottomed out, you were absolutely certain he was going to hit your cervix with his size, making you extremely nervous but also excited as well.

Mingyu rolled his hips slowly at first, giving you a little more time to get used to his size. You reached for his shoulders and held onto them while he fucked you, the pads of your fingers pressing into his skin. The two of you were breathing shallowly, the mattress springs beginning to quietly squeak as he slowly sped up.

"You feel good?" he asked you in a low voice?

"So g-good," you murmured, your eyes fluttering as you let the pleasure begin to consume you.

"Can I— Shit— Move faster?"

"Mmhmm..."

Mingyu wasted no time. You felt like his cock was going to rip your insides out when he got faster and harder, the friction inside you just making everything more intense. You cried loudly as you felt his waist slapping against yours, your legs wrapping around his waist. Mingyu lowered his body further, his lips right next to your ear. You could hear him breathing and grunting erratically, his hot breath sending tingles through your body.

Suddenly, Mingyu sped up. The bedsprings squeaked loudly and the entire bed shifted with every thrust. You screamed, your nails digging into his skin as you felt your entire body swell with more and more pleasure. With one particularly strong thrust, Mingyu actually managed to ram into your cervix, immediately filling your vision with stars. You squeezed your eyes shut and cried as you came again.

The fluttering and clenching of your cunt was too much for the man to bear. You heard his breathing hitch and a groan rumble in his throat while his waist continued moving rapidly.

"Fuck! C-Cumming!" Mingyu grunted loudly.

He pulled out and stroked his cock several times before ropes of white shot out and landed your stomach. He continued to grunt and sigh as more cum spurt out of his cock, his hand slowing down as he released his entire load to decorate your skin.

The two of you were breathing hard. Your breathing slowed down, and your eyes could barely stay open as your body relaxed more and more into the mattress, the pleasure still lingering within you.

You ended up falling asleep just like that, and when you woke up, you saw that Mingyu had cleaned the two of you up but that you both were still nude, the only fabric covering your skin being the duvet on top of you. He was fast asleep and hugging you close to him as the two of you laid side by side, his hold on your waist only getting stronger when he felt you shift in his arms.

Mingyu's face was right before yours. You watched him breathe softly, peacefully, your heart fluttering as you observed his beautiful features. You wanted to reach out and run your finger along his sculpted face, but at the same time, you felt so at peace just seeing his relaxed, sleeping face. You settled for pressing your ear to his chest and listening to his beating heart as you drifted off to sleep again.

You and Mingyu had spent a countless number of nights together after that, and every single time, he was so overwhelmingly generous and passionate with you that you couldn't help but fall for him— and you fell hard.

Yet, you didn't think to tell him about your feelings. Truthfully, you were too scared to. You didn't know how he felt about you, and you seriously couldn't tell sometimes, especially when you saw him talking to other people.

Sometimes, while you waited for Mingyu at the beach, you would spot him talking and laughing with a couple friends. One day, however, you saw him with another woman. Technically speaking, you and Mingyu never made any sort of commitment to each other, so he was free to talk to, flirt with, or sleep with anyone he wanted to, but you still couldn't help but feel your heart drop to your feet. He looked so happy with her, and every time she touched his arm in a flirty manner, he would accept it and reciprocate.

You were hurt. You thought you and Mingyu had something a little more special. You thought that he didn't treat all girls the same way he treated you, that he wasn't like every other man, that he wasn't actually a player. All of those thoughts completely shattered when you saw him with her. You were upset with him, but you were also upset with yourself for never saying anything to him, and based on the way he was interacting with that woman, you felt like you probably shouldn't say anything.

That was the last time you saw him... for a while. The day you saw him with the girl, you left, and he texted you asking you where you were, but you didn't respond. He didn't send a single message after that. You were left alone— well, actually, you weren't completely alone.

A couple of weeks later, you went to the doctor because you were unwell. You were throwing up all the time, and you were unable to focus or do anything properly. You thought it was a stomach flu, but it was a baby instead, and it was his baby; it had to be his baby because you hadn't been with another man ever since.

After finding out, you didn't really know what to do with the information. You debated telling Mingyu, but no matter how you thought about it, your mind kept drifting to him and the other woman. You didn't want to disrupt his life, but in the same breath, he deserved to know. That being said, seeing that his last text to you was weeks prior always stopped you from sending a message, and if you couldn't even send a text, where the hell were you going to call him?

You ended up living with your little secret kept close to your heart. You took care of yourself, and you were on top of things. You thought about what your life was going to look like after you gave birth, and when you looked around your desolate apartment, you thought about sharing your life with someone. You thought about it, but at the end of it all, you could only think of one person you actually wanted to share it with, and it made you spiral all over again.

One particular day, you felt completely off. You had horrible cramps, and you were so dizzy that you couldn't do anything but keep your head in the toilet and dry heave because you literally had nothing in your system but your body was going through it to the point where you were delirious. In fact, you were so delirious that you called Mingyu right before you passed out.

When you came to, you were in a hospital, and you were confused as hell. It was nighttime. Moonlight filled your room along with the beeping of the heart monitor. You pushed yourself up and looked to your side to see Mingyu fast asleep while kneeling at the edge of the hospital bed. Your heart skipped a beat seeing his perfectly chiseled face before your brain questioned why he was there in the first place.

Mingyu stirred when you tried to shift to a more comfortable position, and the second he blinked some of the sleep out of his eyes, he fully awoke and stood up quickly to stand right by your side.

"Hey," he whispered. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay, but, what's going on? Why am I—"

"Shh, just get some rest... You've been through a lot."

You were getting nervous with the way he was talking to you, raising more questions. There was no way in hell you were going to sleep without getting some answers.

"...Why am I here? And why are you here?"

Mingyu took a deep breath. He knew you weren't going to rest until you knew what was happening.

So, he told you everything. You called him right before you passed out, and he immediately picked up. When you didn't speak, he at first thought you butt dialed him or something, but your phone was right by your face, and he heard your shallow, shaky breaths. He, thankfully, remembered where your spare key was and immediately got to your apartment to see you on the ground in your bathroom. He called the paramedics, they brought you to the hospital, and after running through all of the tests, the doctor told him what happened.

"You... You were pregnant," Mingyu whispered.

"Yeah, I'm pregnant, but—"

"No," Mingyu cut you off. "You were pregnant."

White noise filled your ears. The words, with the infliction, sunk in, and you felt everything around you collapse. You felt like Mingyu hit you with a right hook when he said that, and you were close to knocking out.

Were.

How could that even happen?

The doctors explained it to you, but you weren't listening; you couldn't bring yourself to listen. Your head was muddled, every voice that spoke to you was muffled, and your heart was muzzled.

You were so lifeless throughout your stay at the hospital that Mingyu couldn't help but stay by your side. Granted, you thought was doing it out of pity, but it was mainly because he knew that if you were left alone, you would fall over again, and he didn't want that to happen to you ever no matter how big the distance between the two of you grew.

Even after discharge, Mingyu stayed with you. He kept reassuring you that if you wanted to cry, you could, and that he would be there for you, but you didn't have it in you to cry. You were mindless from the moment he told you, and you remained mindless as you tried to find normalcy in your life once more. You were so mindless, in fact, that you expected Mingyu to just up and leave after knowing you could feed yourself, but he didn't. He stayed with you for a while— until he found out the truth.

You and Mingyu were in the kitchen one evening. You were cleaning, and Mingyu, who originally entered the kitchen to rifle through the pantry, held the handle to the pantry door before sighing and facing you.

"Hey," Mingyu broke the silence. "Can I ask you something?"

You nodded while mindlessly wiping down the kitchen countertop.

"Who was the father...?"

You froze. You knew he was going to ask that at some point, but you thought he would give you a little more than several days to prepare for it. You set the towel aside and looked at him. You wanted to tell him, but the words were stuck in the back of your throat.

Mingyu saw the look on your face and immediately looked away uncomfortably. He ran his hand over his face and took a heavy breath.

"...Tell me something," his voice came out rough, as if he was choking back a sob.

You waited for him to say something, but he just looked at you instead. You nodded and whispered, "Yeah?"

"In the time we haven't seen each other..." he started slowly. "Have you slept with anyone else?"

You shook your head. You wanted to confirm verbally, but there was no way you were going to— not when you felt your chest tighten up uncomfortably.

"So..."

Mingyu definitely choked on his words that time. He chewed on his lower lip nervously. He covered his mouth with his hand and sighed slowly, shakily. The room was heavy, and both of you knew exactly what this awkwardness meant, but you were waiting for the other one to say the words. Unable to take the tension any longer, you spoke.

"It was you..."

Mingyu pressed his lips together in a tight line. He took a step towards the kitchen island and grabbed the edge as if to steady himself. You watched his knuckles turn white the longer he gripped it. He looked down at the countertop before looking right at you, his eyes red and watery.

"Me?"

You were near tears. You blinked them away quickly while sniffling and nodding. You knew what was coming. You knew he was going to be upset, and you needed him to know why you did what you did, and there was no way that was going to happen if you got emotional.

"So, let me get this straight. You were pregnant, and I was the father?"

You nearly flinched when you heard his voice get louder.

"Yes," you confirmed before choosing your next words very carefully. "I was pregnant, and you were the person who got me pregnant."

You definitely flinched when Mingyu slammed his hands down on the countertop. He was shaking, and his face was twisted painfully as the realization finally completely hit him.

"You— You were pregnant— You were pregnant with my child?!" Mingyu yelled; he was in complete and utter disbelief to the point where he was tripping over his words. "Did— You— You didn't think to tell me?!"

"I didn't know how you were going to respond, Mingyu! We're not married, we're not engaged— I'm just some girl you knocked up, and I didn't want you to feel the need to marry me just because I was pregnant!"

"So, what, you were just going to have the kid without telling me?! You were going to let me go blissfully unaware that someone who shares half of my DNA is just walking around without even knowing who their biological father is?!"

"Does it even matter?!" you shrieked.

The two of you fell silent. The weight of the matter hit you like a ton of brick, and the room got more stuffy by the second. You ran your shaking fingers through your hair and exhaled slowly, your heart clenching as you thought about everything that led to that moment. You closed your eyes and massaged your temples as you did your best to hold your tears back.

"It doesn't even matter anymore," you sighed, your voice shaky as you spoke quietly.

You could tell Mingyu wanted to comfort you. His hand reached out hesitantly before falling at his side. You faced him and locked eyes with him. His eyes weren't sparkling the way they used to whenever he saw you. They were bleak, sorrowful, resentful. You knew he resented you for not telling him about your unplanned pregnancy and that he found out because of the hospital.

"You know," Mingyu started, his voice choked back by a sob. "You could at least..."

He shook his head. He wasn't going to say it, and as much as you wanted to demand that he say it, you didn't need him to.

You could at least apologize for not telling me in the first place.

And you did want to apologize, but the words got stuck in the back of your throat because you were just as hurt by him as he was by you. Plus, he wasn't the one who had to bear the weight of losing a child— you were.

Neither of you uttered a word after that. Mingyu wordlessly left your apartment, and you remained in your kitchen this time actually completely alone.

Years later, you still carried the resentment against him. You couldn't figure out why either. Maybe it was the fact that he seemed to have moved on with his life and that you were still stuck in the past. Maybe it was because he never tried to find you to comfort you. Maybe it was because you wish he fought for you to stay with him.

You stared aimlessly at the sunset before you, your arms crossed over your chest as the yellow and orange hues grayed out in your glazed view. The waves were calmly patting the large rocks, and the wind was sweeping by you warmly, but you felt anxious and cold. You ran your shaking fingers through your hair and took a shuddering breath as you tried your best to appreciate the sky's canvas through your teary eyes.

"Hey there..." you heard a familiar voice over the sound of the ocean waves.

A tear immediately slipped out of your eye. You refused to turn, you refused to look— you didn't need to see who it was.

"What're you doing alone on a beach like this?" he continued.

Your heart clenched. It was like the first time the two of you met all over again, but you were anything but happy. You shook your head and looked away. Honestly, you wanted to run away, but your feet refused to carry you, your toes sinking deeper into the soft sand.

"Come on... Please look at me..."

The catch his throat stabbed at your heart several times. You bit your lower lip and tried your best to keep it together as you turned to look at him, but all of that effort was in vain.

It was the first time in years that you saw him, and dare you say it, he looked even more stunning as a slightly older man. His muscles had gotten more refined, and his facial features had gotten sharper. The biggest change, however, was his eyes. They weren't sparkling at all anymore, but there was something else there— something you couldn't quite place. It was unfamiliar, but in the same breath, recognizable.

"Mingyu..." you breathed out unintentionally, your voice trembling. "What are you doing here?

He took a single step towards you. You were still frozen in place, so he kept approaching despite you wanting him to stay as far away from you as possible.

"I... I miss you... And I want to—" Mingyu stopped himself the second he saw you shaking your head.

"Please don't, Mingyu," you whispered.

A warm ocean breeze swept past your ankles and through your hair as silence filled the space between you. You turned away from him and looked at the ocean again, Mingyu continuing to stare at you. You wiped the lingering tears by your eyes away before crossing your arms over your chest again. Even after everything, you still refused to cry, especially in front of him. Yet, when Mingyu approached you tentatively and carefully wrapped his arms around you, you broke. You let him hug you, and all of the tears you had been holding back not just then but over the last several years came pouring out.

You wanted to say something, but you couldn't. You were too busy wailing into his chest, your hands grabbing at the fabric of his shirt as you pulled him closer to you. Mingyu kept one secure hand around your waist while the other petted your head in a soothing manner.

"It's okay... Cry it all out..." Mingyu murmured, making you cry even more.

The two of you had slowly sunk down to the ground and sat on the towel under the umbrella which you had brought to the beach to sit on earlier. Mingyu refused to let you go even as your sobs died down. He rubbed your back, the feeling of his large hand on your back and the sounds from the ocean easing your pain and finally calming you down.

You sat in silence after you cried it all out. Mingyu's hold on you loosened slightly so that you could lean back and look at him, but he still didn't let go of you— there was no way in hell he was going to let go of you now.

"How are you feeling?" Mingyu asked in a hushed voice.

"A little better..." you couldn't help but admit— the lack of bottled up emotions in your chest did make it easier for you to breathe.

You looked up at him. This time, when you gazed into his eyes, you were able to figure out exactly what it was in his eyes: hope. You felt the emotion swell up in your chest again, but instead of crying, you took a deep breath and relaxed a little more in his arms.

"Why did you..." you sighed as you trailed off, trying to figure out exactly how you wanted to say this. "You're here because...?"

"Because I miss you," Mingyu said, reiterating what he was saying earlier. "I miss you so much..."

"...Why did you come here, then? How'd you know you'd find me here...?"

"I didn't, actually. I was thinking about going to your apartment, but I didn't know if you still lived there, and when I turned around to go home... I saw you standing here..."

"I actually still live at the same place," you couldn't help but chuckle dryly. "You'd think I would have moved after all this time... But I couldn't bring myself to do it..."

"Why is that?"

"Because... Even after everything... I never wanted to— I could never get over you... I really missed you too, Mingyu..."

Mingyu cupped your face after you stopped talking. He tilted your head up, and you saw his lower lip quiver. He took a breath as if he was about to say something, but he immediately closed his mouth. He didn't need to say it— you knew what he wanted to say.

"Then why did we wait so long to find each other again?"

You knew what kept you from reaching out, but you weren't sure how Mingyu was going to respond, nor were you sure you wanted to know the answer. However, enough was enough, and you needed answers.

"Can I ask you something?" you asked, your voice hushed.

"Yeah, of course," he nodded. "You can ask me anything."

You swallowed nervously. You were still unsure of how to broach the subject, so you just decided to be candid and let your ears get as hot as they wanted as embarrassment took control of your brain.

"What about that other girl?"

"What other girl?" Mingyu asked, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Back then... You were talking and laughing with another girl..."

Mingyu just looked even more confused. Taking a deep breath, you finally laid it all out.

"We didn't... We didn't really talk about what our relationship was back then... So when I saw you with another girl, I assumed it was because you had your options open," you explained slowly. "And since we weren't officially dating or together or anything, I didn't want to ask you about it because you were free to see other people..."

Your gaze slowly lowered as you explained your train of thought, so when you finished, you looked up again to see a wide array of emotions painted on Mingyu's face. He closed his eyes and sat silently for a moment, and you waited for him to gather his own thoughts before responding. Finally, he reopened his eyes, and for the first time in a while, you saw that sparkle you were hopelessly infatuated with return to his eyes.

"Sweetheart, there's never been anyone else," Mingyu said softly as he reached for and held your hand. "I've only ever had eyes for you, and I have not stopped thinking about you..."

You felt your eyes well up with tears. There were so many thoughts swirling around your head, most of them being regret that you didn't talk this through with Mingyu in the beginning; but he made all of the negative thoughts leave your mind the second he cupped your face and met your gaze.

"I only want to be with you."

A tear slipped out of your eye, the man immediately brushing it away. You pushed yourself into his arms and hugged him tightly while sobbing, Mingyu immediately hugging back and petting your head to soothe you. He whispered reassuring words to you while resting his chin on the top of your head, and he let you cry it all out. His white shirt soaked up all of your tears as you buried your face in his chest.

"I'm sorry, Mingyu... I'm so sorry..."

"It's okay... Don't think about it now," he said softly. "Let's not dwell on the past... Let's focus on now..."

You shook your head, prompting him to counter your apology.

"If anything, I'm sorry for leaving you like that," he whispered. "I hated that I wasn't there for you when you needed the support... I should've been there for you."

You sniffled and moved your head back. You opened your mouth to say something, but the words were stuck in the back of your throat, choked back by a sob.

"But I'm here for you now, and I promise I'm always going to be here for you. Always."

With that, Mingyu pressed his lips against yours tenderly, your heart swelling with a multitude of emotions. You kissed him back softly, slowly, conveying all of your unspoken feelings to him.

The sun was long gone by that point, and the stars were out as you and Mingyu found yourselves entangled with each other. Mingyu's hands roamed all of your body. The warmth of his touch lingered on every spot of skin his fingers brushed as he took in every last bit of you. His kisses started sweet but slowly got more hungry and desperate as every single cell of his body craved you— after all, it had been years.

If the two of you hadn't been hidden to the world under an umbrella and behind a strip of large rocks, you wouldn't have been okay with Mingyu taking things further with you. He slid your dress up as he trailed kisses from your ankle up your leg and to your knee. Your dress rested on your stomach, and he turned you to the side before lying down alongside you, his hand bringing your thigh up and over his legs. He placed his hand under your head as a makeshift pillow, and you immediately nuzzled your face into his hand, making his breathing hitch slightly.

The two of you were silent, and you let the sound of the waves lapping fill the void the more intimate you got. Mingyu pulled his cock out of his shorts and started to rub it between your legs, your body trembling with want, desire, and a little fear. Since it had been so long, you forgot how big he was, so when he pushed your panties to the side before slipping his cock inside you, you immediately moaned loudly. Mingyu cut off your moan with a kiss, his tongue keeping yours occupied as he bottomed out.

You moaned into Mingyu's mouth as he began to move, his waist softly slapping against yours. You felt like your cunt was going to tear apart with his size, and as much as it hurt, it also felt so good that you desperately needed him to keep going.

"You doing okay, sweetheart?" he moved his lips to your ear and asked, his voice low and raspy.

You hummed and nodded, the pleasure starting to overwhelm you. The pleasure only continued to build when he started bucking his hips upwards rashly, your whole body lurching. You cried softly and pushed yourself closer to him. You were so close, but you needed just a little bit more.

Mingyu's hand slipped under your dress, his large hand palming your breast. You sighed and moaned the stronger his grip on you got and the more rash his thrusts got. Finally, he thrust into you with enough force that his cock hit your cervix multiple times, the pleasure surging through you like anything. You buried your face into the nook of his neck and groaned as quietly as you could as your orgasm washed over you. Your cunt clenched, and your toes curled. You had been holding onto Mingyu's forearms, and when you came, you dug your nails into them, leaving deep crescents in his arms.

"Fu-uck," Mingyu groaned when he felt you tighten around him.

You truly thought that Mingyu was close when you heard him curse, his sexy, rumbling voice making you tingle with excitement again. However, he apparently was far from done. He moved his hand from your head to your ass, and cupping the underside of your ass, he turned you so that you were on top of him. He pulled you down so that your chest was pressed against his before moving his hands back to your ass. He guided you as your ass bounced on his hips, the new angle making pleasure surge through you once more and your eyes fill with tears.

"I'm— Hnngh— I'm gonna cum inside, okay, sweetheart?" Mingyu whispered, his breathing getting shallower by the second.

Your heart couldn't help but thud wildly against your chest. You whispered, "Please, Mingyu. I'm all yours... I'll always be yours...."

Mingyu's eyes widened slightly before a gentle smile appeared on his face. He ran his fingers through the hair on the back of your head and brought you down to kiss you passionately. When the kiss ended, he let you go to turn you to your side. He buried his face into the nook of your neck and sighed deeply before fucking you as quickly as he could.

Right before he came, a groan rumbled in the back of his throat. He moved his head to your shoulder, his canines digging into your skin as he bit your shoulder lightly. You felt his hot cum fill you up and his dick continue to throb  and spasm as he moved a little more to get the rest of his load out. The two of you sighed softly, blissfully, peacefully as you fully relaxed.

The stars were out as you laid in Mingyu's arms, your eyes closed, your breathing peaceful. The sound of the soft ocean waves rushing onto the sand made you stir. Your eyes fluttered open to see Mingyu staring at the lonely sky above you. You moved away from his chest slightly to get a better look at him, the man immediately shifting his gaze to you. He smiled as you blinked at him. His eyes were sparkling once again, and dare you say it, they sparkled brighter than the stars in the sky. You felt tears well up in your eyes again, and Mingyu wiped them away before they could stain your cheeks. Hushing you softly, he hugged you gently and held you close.

You still hated the ocean. You still hated the beach. You still hated the salty sea breeze that would hit your nose and last all day long in your hair and on your skin, but you welcomed the memories. You welcomed the memories, and you once again loved the man that brought the memories.

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[solecize]

  𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (5)

ten years of being one and the same with jungkook as the country's it couple is the perfect disguise for the reality of a tumultuous relationship hidden behind the scenes.

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: a ㅤㅤㅤ year of a death of a thousand cuts because, no matter what comes your way, saying goodbye is never an option. 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: idol!jungkook/female idol!reader and fictional versions of various idols 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄. idol au, on-and-off relationship, angst, i swear there's fluff, fake dating, and themes of first love, growing up, struggles with fame, and marriage (ish) 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. portrayal of a toxic couple (implications of emotional abuse and control), both main characters are very flawed, violence, infidelity, foul language, substance use (illegal drugs) 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄. based off of "you're losing me" by taylor swift. this is a fictional portrayal of real-life people that implement some aspects of real-life events. extra warning for violent acts in a relationship (throwing objects at the wall) ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤjoin the taglist here! ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤm.list | previous | next

stop, you're losin' me

i can't find a pulse

my heart won't start anymore

TOP HEADLINE TODAY: new kbs variety show announced - first mc revealed to be s.irens' novaㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   january 2017

the memories of bora bora stuck to you like maple syrup on your hands for years. it was a haunting notion to consider the trip the beginning of the end. you remember the way the golden sand stretched out across the water for what felt like forever, as it shimmered and sparkled under the relentless sun. you could hear jungkook’s laughter echoing in your ears like a melody of a song that looped in your head. the sharpest image of that week glared at you angrily - the first serious fight that you ever got into with your boyfriend.

it was a given that you and jungkook butted heads like any other long-term couple, but you found yourself stomping away to nayoung’s hotel room at the end of the third night with a bundle of clothes in your hands and tear-stained cheeks.

when she swung the door open, her heavy lids indicated that she was about to burst into a complaint about you waking her up. instead, nayoung’s eyes jolted open when they read the expression on your face. 

“what happened?” she asked.

you fought a wail, making sure to shove any sort of crying down your throat because god knows you would never stop if you started. nayoung frowned and opened the door wider, gesturing for you to come in. 

her room was always messy at the dorms and you weren’t shocked to find her hotel room in a similar state of disarray. however, it beat the way you trashed the room you’d been sharing with jungkook.  clothes on the floor, random objects hurled at the wall, and even a lamp abandoned on the floor. the anger you felt was unlike anything you’d ever felt before. you admitted this to nayoung, who looked at you like you had two heads.

“yeah, we fought and i may have knocked some things over. . . “

your temperament was definitely an issue to be discussed, but in your eyes, there were more pressing problems to address. when nayoung made room for you to sit on the left side of the bed, you immediately tucked yourself under the covers and let a few tears stream down your face. 

she frowned. “what were you guys fighting about?”

“jungkook thinks that i’m always too focused on work,” you explained, swiping at your face. “he said i don’t make enough time for him.”

at this point, you were four years into debut and permanently stuck in the fast lane. a few major events occurred in your career recently that changed the trajectory of your group’s popularity - the first being the departure of miseul. it was an unfortunate situation, as she requested the termination of her contract to go back to her hometown, where her grandmother was ill. the company then replaced her with a new girl, cara, who you did not get along with. there was no choice in the matter, though, and your group’s first comeback with the new lineup happened earlier that year.

another signficant dynamic change was nayoung’s quick rise to stardom as an actress. she’d starred in a drama that was one of the most popular of all time on mbc and as a result, grew in popularity that arguably surpassed your group. she had endorsements and jobs coming left and right, which was prioritized by your company over the group’s endeavours. 

it was a bitter feeling, being overshadowed by both your own group mate and boyfriend, but you instead focused on working harder and taking on every project you could. even with bts’ growing status and schedules, you found yourself making less and less time for jungkook and his argument was that he always did more for the relationship than you did.

“focused on work? we’re literally on vacation.” nayoung sighed, coming into bed with you. “i’m glad you’re here, though, y/n. i feel like i haven’t seen you since we landed.”

agreeing to the bora bora trip was a reluctant decision, as it was originally just supposed to be a composition of your and jungkook’s friends. you only wanted to bring nayoung and sooah, until the latter convinced you to ask cara to tag along, since they didn’t want to leave her out. the trip was intended to be the time for you to bond with jungkook, but you were now put into a position to also bond with your group members, especially since things hadn’t really been the same with the girls since miseul left. 

“nayoung, we’re still friends right?” you asked meekly, feeling pathetic even as you said it.

her shoulders dropped and she pulled you into an embrace. “of course we are! why would you say that?”

“ever since we stopped living with each other and since miseul left. . .” you trailed off, tearing away. “i feel like the group sees each other as just coworkers or something.”

you were now twenty years old and experiencing life independently. the same was said for your group mates, as you were all now off doing your own things and only reuniting once or twice a year for a comeback. at some point, you considered these girls sisters. now, those feelings felt miles away. even the bora bora trip felt forced. 

“y/n,” nayoung’s tone grew serious. “i’m always going to be here for you.”

this would be the last time that s.irens would spend time together outside of work. sooah and nayoung’s relationship soured over the years to the point where they no longer spoke by 2020 - a result of merely growing up and growing out of childhood friendships. you also began building resentment against nayoung, who would become the country’s it girl in no time and stopped publicly acknowledging that she was in a girl group. you eventually no longer considered her a friend, deciding you did not want her arrogance in your life. miseul only texted you once a year to say happy birthday. this was the breakdown of the only support system you had. 

when morning came after staying up until dawn with nayoung, you found yourself sneaking back into your and jungkook’s shared hotel room. you were surprised to see that he was not in bed, but felt a salty breeze stream in from the balcony.

  you stepped forward and saw jungkook sitting down, eyes fixed on the aquamarine of the beach ahead. when you opened the door wider to let yourself out, he already knew it was you.

  “i’m sorry, bug,” he immediately said, too ashamed to look at you.

  you were convinced that it was your hothead that drove the majority of the argument and his apology made your heart sink. you were the one who threw things at the wall and spiralled without looking back. he shot back with his own words, but you knew that you were the one who started it.

  without warning, you sat right beside jungkook and wrapped your arms around his back. you put your chin on his shoulder and he physically relaxed, as if he’d been carrying sandbags for days. you whispered an apology against his neck and held back tears.

  “you’re right. i’ve been a horrible girlfriend.” you hated how bitter the words tasted. “i’m going to do my best to fix my work-life balance. you try so hard for me.”

  TOP HEADLINE TODAY: the 2017 edition of the idol star ahtletic competition now filming in goyang!ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤjanuary 2017

  you never felt at fault for your hot temper when jungkook’s jealous eye followed you like a lost puppy. it was just as much as a problem as your own shortcomings and it always felt like a battle of who’s more in the wrong between you two.

  everyone looked forward to each year’s edition of the idol star athletic championsips, a kind break amidst the hustle and bustle of a regular schedule. some of the more active idols took the games quite seriously, but for you and the rest of s.irens, it was several days of filming that were ultimately far more chill than any of your regular promotional activities. coming off the bora bora trip, a little relay race was next to nothing in terms of effort. 

  your group’s event was the last of the day, which left you and nayoung wandering around the goyang gymnasium for the meantime. you were texting jungkook to see if he was also free, when nayoung was called over by some individuals. 

  it was in a tent area away from the view of the spectators and cameras, which you were grateful for at an event where fans watched idols like hawks.

  “nayoung! and nova!”

  exo’s leader was known in the community to be charming and well-spoken, which didn’t surprise you when you found yourself struck immediately. you’d seen him around and of course watched him on television and online, but you could now see up close just how different the aura of a top boy group was. beside him was his fellow group members and participants for the archery event later that day, who were sehun and chanyeol.

  “y/n, this is junmyeon and sehun and chanyeol,” nayoung introduced, beaming. it seemed like her rise in popularity meant that she had begun rubbing elbows with a-list idols like exo.

  you mirrored her smile. “nice to meet you all. y/n is fine, just call me that,” you insisted, as the three of you exchanged bows.

  unlike your fellow group members, you didn’t find yourself to be much of a social butterfly. you hung out with them and your boyfriend - occasionally your boyfriend’s friends. yet, somehow, others knew you. sehun asked if you were doing archery again this year, which you weren’t. junmyeon complimented your group’s last release. chanyeol mentioned running into miseul at the airport the other day. 

  as the pleasantries were made, the floor rumbled with the roar of fans across the stands. in the middle of the arena, the rhythmic gymnastics event was set to begin and all eyes were trained on the competition. that is, all eyes except junmyeon’s, whose own eyes remained fixated on you. it was a foreign sensation to feel your heart leap. 

  “excited for the day ahead?” strained chanyeol, struggling to be heard over the mcs talking. 

  nayoung replied, “yeah! i think our group has a good shot at the relay event!”

  that was false, since you knew sooah was prone to tripping and falling, but you kept that to yourself with a muffled snicker. 

  “it’s definitely going to be a long day. . .” sehun said, yawning. 

  nayoung blew some hair out of her face. “at least it’s only one day of filmng this year.”

  you enjoyed participating in isac each year, as it was mostly fun and games, but it was stressful knowing that cameras were constantly on you. each day of filming felt like the equivalent of a week when you anticipated random fancams of you on the internet the next day, probably doing mundane things like saying hi to a member of exid.

  junmyeon spoke, “it’s going to be a long day, but there’s a thing happening at kc lounge tonight after filming and a bunch of our team is going to be there. chanyeol reserved a whole section for us - you should come.” it took you a second to realize he was now boldly holding out his phone. 

  although the words were meant to address both you and nayoung, he was directly facing you and only looked at you when he asked. you were caught off guard, having trouble finding the words to respond. junmyeon’s eyes were soft and his smile was inviting - you weren’t an idiot. you knew when an invitation was beyond friendly. even nayoung was side-eying you, following the inquiry.

  “uhm - “

  “i’d love to see you there.” it was hard to miss the once over he gave you, as his boys let out a low whistle at his suaveness. you couldn't help but notice the pink tint spreading across your cheeks. 

  the attention felt nice. you’d never been approached so boldly by a senior idol before. and he was hot. you didn’t know what to say, except that you were lingering in this conversation for way too long than acceptable.

  thankfully, the vibration of your own phone interrupted whatever sentence you were to form next. with a glance at the screen, the picture of you and jungkook stared back at you and you were left dumbfounded. why was he calling you in the middle of a live event? 

  you said, “sorry, i think i’m being called.”

  nayoung nudged you, prompting you to turn around and see that jungkook was staring directly at you from a few tents away. his expression was stone-cold and eyes burned in your direction. realizing what it looked like to him with junmyeon basically asking for your number, you groaned. 

  “you think it’s safe for me to walk over there?” you muttered into nayoung’s ear, ignoring the curious stares of the three exo members in front of you. junmyeon had now slowly retracted his phone away, now also noticing jungkook looking your way. 

  nayoung looked around. “maybe if you walk behind the tents, up against the wall,” she suggested, not missing jungkook either. 

  it wasn’t too bad of timing either, since the competition was mid-event and most individuals were preoccupied with that. you wouldn’t have approached him in public otherwise. 

  junmyeon seemed to understand what was going on and he only offered a small smile. “well, let me know. we’re stuck here all day, anyway,” he chuckled.

  you thanked him and excused yourself, following nayoung’s direction to discreetly make your way over to jungkook’s tent. 

  other than him, a few members of bts lingered around the tent, presumably warming up for their event later on in the day. well, that’s what you thought they were doing before, as they were now looking towards you and jungkook, probably witnessing the same interaction as your boyfriend. jungkook’s arms were folded across his chest when you approached and you were already not in the mood.

  “meet me in that hall,” you said as quickly and loudly as you could, not wanting an audience. 

  you turned around without waiting for an answer and jungkook waited several beats before trailing behind, just in case. the two of you found yourselves in the tunnel leading into the main stadium area, which was thankfully empty. 

  you were surprised that jungkook’s fuse was triggered, as you two just shared a nice dinner date the night before with no issues. however, the more you thought about it, his jealousy issues were rising recently - from one wrong stare at a party by a monsta x member the other night to being asked out by a music producer that worked with s.irens.  each interaction was met with rage.

  “are you alright?” you questioned, once you were out of earshot and eyesight from anyone.

  “were they being weird to you?” jungkook instantly replied, jaw clenched.

  you furrowed your eyebrows. “what? no,” you said. “they were just being friendly - “

  “you should stay away from exo, i wouldn’t trust a lot of those guys.”

  “isn’t taehyung friends with some of them?” you dryly shot back, but he ignored your sentiment and continued ranting about how male idols weren’t to be trusted.

  obviously, you and him both knew what he was actually annoyed about. you stood your ground, as you knew you didn’t do anything wrong. it was a harmless interaction and you didn’t expect the entire idol community to know that you and jungkook were dating - well, actually, you kind of did and it was a little bit weird to get the invite in such a flirtatious way, but you were not going to take part. it was shut down immediately, but here you were. 

  after another minute of jungkook going on about the interaction, you interrupted him by abruptly placing a kiss on his cheek. he froze.

  “stop it. i’m fine. he was just being nice,” you sighed, looking around to make sure nobody was hiding in the shadows. “now, can we go back to our jobs, jungkook?”

  though your boyfriend was normally quite relentless about these things, your words did snap him back to the reality in which you were putting your very careers at risk to even have this hushed conversations in the shadows. isac was all fun and games, but you were on the clock with cameras in every corner possible. your slight touch of affection seemed to also help, as jungkook visibly eased when you kissed him on the cheek.

  he adjusted his sweatshirt and sighed. “alright. i’m sorry.”

  and that was the end of that conversation, but another faded memory lost in the chaos of 2017.

  TOP HEADLINE TODAY: the 2017 bts live trilogy episode III (final chapter): the wings tour to commence next weekㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤfebruary 2017

  the bland eggshell walls of the bighit entertainment headquarters didn’t faze you. at the very beginning, it was unsettling just how hollow the corridors and nooks appeared to be, as if the surroundings belonged in a prison. you’d been in and out of the hallways over the past years, albeit often for very few reasons that were pleasant. though it was a huge maze, you memorized the path on floor seventeen.

  upon hearing the loud ding and the metal doors sliding open with ease, you stepped onto the said floor with nothing less than pure anger bubbling in your veins. you clearly made your way up here — through traffic and past the security at the front desk who always mistook you for a crazed fan — with a purpose. you weren’t going to rest until you gave jeon jungkook a piece of your mind. releasing a long sigh, the employees who took a glance up and saw the infuriated expression on your face didn’t even bother stopping you. this had become routine.

  the distinct voices of his group members, combined with one of the group’s tracks amplified through speakers and footsteps squeaking on the hardwood floors in immaculate unison, were enough to tell you that he was here.

  “jeon jungkook.”

  the chorus to ‘spring day’ came to a sudden halt. hoseok was the first person to take notice of you and stopped dancing when you appeared at the doorway. the others noticed fast and when jungkook finally looked up, someone had already stopped the music.

  the look shared by his group mates seemed to read that they knew exactly what he was in trouble for. the prompt end of the music seemed to indicate so. a scared expression flashed on jungkook’s face upon reading your own stone-cold one.

  last time this happened was when you found a pack of cigarettes in one of your boyfriend’s jackets, after he swore up and down to you that he was quitting nicotine. another time was because of him forgetting that you had a date that night. today, the rage running through your veins was due to something new.

  jungkook visibly winced every time you said his full name aloud and here, he nearly shuddered at the sound. his head hung low, like a puppy. he knew what he did wrong this time.

  “i’ll be right back,” you heard him mutter to namjoon who could only nod empathetically, arms folded across his chest as he observed the scene.

  for jungkook’s sake, the group broke out into forced conversation to distract from the two of you. seokjin pretended to ask hoseok for help with the choreography and taehyung wanted to suddenly show the rest of the group a video on his phone. meanwhile, the youngest of the group wordlessly followed you out into the hallway.

  “where were you last night?”

  the question was immediate, not even waiting for jungkook to shut the door behind him. he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 

  jungkook asked, “did you really have to come all the way here to have this conversation with me?” exasperation laced his words like a bow, but you were unfazed.

  “well, clearly i don’t know when and where you’re busy,” you shot back, “so i had no choice but to come here.”

  he opened his mouth to speak again, but you cut him off by raising your phone to eye-level. on the screen was the private instagram of cha eunwoo, who posted several slides of content of cheonsa lounge in gangnam. the very first picture was him and jungkook, clutching a shot glass of dark liquor in one hand and a vape in another. upon scanning the screen, where you proceeded to move through the instagram post - one picture of jungkook posing with eunwoo and the bottle girls from the club and the next being jungkook holding a bottle of champagne - silence filled the air.

  jungkook’s shoulders drop in defeat. “i’m sorry, it was a last minute thing - “

  “how last minute?! i called you at ten last night, asking if we could have a movie night in,” you cut him off, “and you said you were feeling sick! you don’t look so sick in these photos, huh?”

  “i was feeling sick, i swear!” he exclaimed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “the boys called me an hour after that and guilt-tripped me into coming - “

  “oh, please.”

  jungkook huffed. “i’m telling the truth!””

  if you were being honest with yourself, it wasn’t a far-fetched idea that jungkook’s boys did, in fact, drag him out to the club the night before. regardless of that, you were more upset with the fact that he declined you, but said yes to his friends. 

  “is a night in with me too boring for you now?” you questioned, jaw clenched. “if you were going out, you could have at least asked me to come!”

  “you don’t have to come out every time with me, y/n, i need time with my friends,” he replied and sighed once more. 

  this made you even more mad. “when did i say you can’t have time with your friends?!” you didn’t like the fact that jungkook was making you out to be such a control freak.

  jungkook groaned. “i didn’t say that!”

  nothing had been the same since the bora bora trip earlier that year. sure, you and jungkook fought like any other couple, but it was never this bad and this frequent. it was as if the fight in the hotel was the first domino to a cascade of falls. coupled with your increasingly exhausting schedules and other factors affecting your relationship, such as your career-driven mindset that was prioritized over everything and bts’ rise to international fame, it was only natural that you and jungkook would only drift farther apart.

  yet, neither of you were ready to walk away. as you and jungkook continued your back and forth for several more minutes to come in the darkened hallway of bighit entertainment, you could hear the opening notes to spring day once more - his fellow members presumably giving up on waiting for him to return before resuming practice.

  i miss you, was the opening line to spring day and it physically hurt your heart to listen to, as jungkook stood just a few feet away from you and still seemed so far away. the two of you gave each other the silent treatment for the next week after.

  TOP HEADLINE TODAY: s.irens fans grow restless as the group's comeback is pushed once again, allegedly to accomodate main dancer go nayoung's filming schedule for mbc's 'far away' dramaㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   september 2017

  for once, you and jungkook were not getting hazy heads amidst the lights of a nightclub or a packed party, but a charity ball. held at the spacious estate of a member of the family behind hyundai, it was a sight to behold and made jungkook forget that he was in the middle of seoul. he found himself in the back gardens, underneath a marble gazebo that overlooked the lush flowers and twinkling lights of the area. they shone like stars, string lights that hung all around the gardens, and jungkook wished he could share this sight with you.

  things were fuzzy with you, but jungkook held out hope that you would be able to pick up the pieces and fix things soon. after a string of fights the past few months, you had finally reached your wits’ end. it was an imploding, inevitable time bomb that was going to set off sooner rather than later. you and jungkook were beginning to butt heads more than not and one random thursday night, it was d-day.

  there weren’t too many places in the city that would be safe for even just a normal stroll with your boyfriend, which was an unfortunate truth that jungkook had to swallow for years on end. more than anything in the world, he wanted to flaunt you to the whole world to show everyone just how lucky he was. he was so in love with you and that was never going to change.

  from the moment he met you, he was smitten with your beauty and the nail in the coffin was your addicting personality that he was so naturally in sync with. to have someone so incredibly bewitching as his best friend, all jungkook ever wanted to do was scream to the world that you were his girlfriend. 

  instead, your date nights since the turn of your early twenties consisted of outings like secluded nature walks, friends’ homes, long drives, and if you were careful, the corner store at night. maybe that was why jungkook loved enjoying the seoul nightlife with you - it was a safe space where you could be with each other and with each other, the most important thing other than pounding music and letting alcohol wash away your worries.

  your last date was no different, as jungkook suggested to take a walk along the han river. you had no qualms about the suggestion - though, evaluating the place as a date wasn’t the catalyst to your agreement. you knew that there was a conversation to be had and you could have done in anywhere at that point. it’d been over two weeks since you last saw each other, as missed opportunities sipped from your fingers to sit jungkook down and have a talk about your relationship with him.

  jungkook saw you from a mile away - it was hard not to when you were literally wearing one of his hoodies. even though it’d felt like forever since the dna promotions began taking over his life and you were off filming a drama, he could always spot you in a crowded room in just seconds. you were waiting by the water, looking off into the seoul night skyline. a black baseball cap hid most of your face and you were smoking a cigarette - a habit that you eventually picked up from jungkook, despite initially chewing him out for the unhealthy habit. you eventually decided that you were also too overworked to not have a vice.

  on the other hand, jungkook had been cold turkey for a whole month. he’d grown disappointed of himself for giving in so often on ruining his health, especially as a singer. a frown tugged at his lips when he approached you, just as you were finishing up.

  your eyes always brightened when you saw jungkook, but tonight, you saw something in his own that prevented it. offering a small smile, you walked closer up without a hint of a light in your eyes.

  “hi kookie,” you whispered and pulled him into a tight embrace. jungkook always loved your scent - a strong cinnamon and vanilla smell that warmed his heart, even on breezy autumn nights like this one.

  his face was in your hair, holding you just as tight, when he realized something. something odd.

  jungkook stepped half a foot apart when the hug concluded, examining your features. “there’s something wrong, isn’t there?” he asked, as the anxiety came to settle in after you chose to hug him instead of kiss kim.

  your lips pressed into a thin line and he knew. you insisted that you two hold hands during this walk, which he wanted to refuse, but eventually decided to remain quiet about it. hands clasped, you two began to stroll south of the river.

  for a bit, you and jungkook bantered about how you stole his hoodie without him even realizing it. then, an uncomfortable silenced emerged, as you both could only listen to the light stream of the han and the passing cars nearby. 

  it was jungkook that said something first.

  you let him speak freely because on any other day, it would be a battle marked by avoidance and stonewalling. jungkook had suddenly come to a stop in the middle of the path, after the silence became too grand for him. he reached his limit, too.

  “we should take a break.”

things had been getting weird for a while now between the two of you. you were always fighting and when you weren't fighting, it was when jungkook was overseas, away on the wings tour.

  that’s when your heart began racing. “a break? you want to separate?” 

  “we obviously can’t be together. this isn’t working out. we clash too much and we’re always screaming at each other and we’re risking our jobs and - fuck, i’m sorry.”

  the rant was cut short when jungkook, after pacing back and forth as he spiralled with each word, paused in his tracks at the sight of tears streaming abundantly down your cheeks. he stopped and immediately felt the ball of anxiety at the bottom of his stomach transfigure into a heavy dread accentuated by guilt, weighing heavy on the inside. his chest began hurting and apologies fell from his lips, as he took you right back into his arms.

  “i love you, i know it’s been hard, but we can’t break up,” you hiccuped in between each short breath, barely audible when your crying face was pressed up against jungkook’s chest. “do-do you really feel that way?”

  jungkook rapidly shook his head, not even taking time to think about it. “no, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it. i’m sorry!” he cooed, rocking you back and forth.

  after a moment of just crying from the two of you, you were finally able to catch your breath and rubbed jungkook’s back, hoping it would help him catch his. his breathing eventually slowed back to normal.

  “but, i think you’re right. . .” your voice suddenly emerged, barely above a whisper. “i don’t want to lose you. . .but we need space.”

  “i’d do anything to save this relationship,” jungkook replied and the statement brought you an unknown feeling, spreading across your mind. “whatever you think is best. i can’t lose my best friend - let’s take some time and come back stronger.”

  and that was the agreement. it had been just about a month since it happened and there was no progress since. your and jungkook’s schedules were busier than ever and it was only a coincidence that you both ended up at the same charity ball.

  for the first time in a long time, seeing you felt like remnants of a far away memory - shattered glass pieces of your relationship dancing in the air that, if jungkook tried hard enough, could be grasped at and remembered. your hair was now blonde and made longer with extensions, brushing just above your tailbone. you wore a periwinkle evening dress, soft satin mirroring the chandeliers on the high ceilings and fanned out into a flattering mermaid tail shape. jungkook hadn’t seen you with such makeup before, as you wore a cherry red lip and a sharp cateye. you looked different. . .good, but different.

  jungkook saw you in the foyer, mingling with some chaebols and looking bored. jungkook noticed that you came with sooah, presumably to represent s.irens or your company as a whole, but neither of you so much as looked at each other. jungkook grew worried that you were slowly isolating yourself from your friends. he was also worried that your bored eyes were instead tired eyes from such a hectic schedule.

  there wasn’t any way that jungkook was going to get your attention in that moment, so he instead carried on with his night as normal. he greeted friends, looked for opportunities to network, and helped himself to the fine wine. after an hour, he wandered outside to get some fresh air. then, he looked out at the beauty of the gardens and thought of you, as he strolled down the cobblestone path with a glass of red in one hand.

  he wasn’t sure how long he’d been pondering for under the gazebo, until he saw the time of his watch and realized that it was probably time for dinner to be served. jungkook sighed, stepping out of the gazebo to make his way back inside the manor, sneaking one more look at the calming moon and hoping to run into you at the party. 

  jungkook’s wishes were met sooner than expected, as he spotted you by a tucked away corner, smiling from ear to ear. he was taken aback to see the source of your giggling, being some guy he knew from the korean national football team. one of their best players, actually, as jungkook was quite a fan. he was one of the most popular athletes in the country, it was no surprise that he’d be brushing elbows with other a-listers at this charity ball. jungkook hand clenched into a fist, watching the two of you flirt away from everyone else.

  throughout your years together, jungkook was always a bit of a possessive type. in the way you were far from perfect, he also understood his own flaws. i mean there was quite a lot, like anyone else - he was also bad at communicating his feelings, often shutting down, and cared a lot about appearances.  

  none of that mattered in this moment, as he began walking straight toward you.

  in your defense, you genuinely believed that space meant that you were single. had you been the one to make a fuss about breaking up? yes, but. . .well, there was no but. it’d been years since you were able to prance around without the worries of a relationship and although you wanted jungkook back, it was admittedly freeing. 

  bae sejoon was the striker on the men’s national team and had been eying you since you walked into the estate. the two of you previously crossed paths at a lounge in gangnam a few months ago and now seeing that jungkook was not presently attached to your hip, he made the first move. it was hard to ignore - his coy smirk and athletic build that exuded masculinity. however, your only intentions were to simply ravel in the attention sejoon was willing to give to you.

  as soon as you arrived to the event, sooah already left to go greet some of her model friends in the main dining room. she didn’t ask you to join - you’d been drifting apart since the beginning of the year and moving out of the dorns. meanwhile, you planned to politely mingle with other guests, given that you were technically here because of work - despite wanting nothing more but to lay low and keep to yourself. 

  “well, maybe we should go together. can’t believe you’ve never been to the best cafe in all of seoul.”

  instead, you were batting your eyelashes at sejoon, who’d been going on about some french-style cafe that just opened up in the city. you didn’t think he was a particularly interesting guy, but he was cute. a cute distraction. 

  you said, “that sounds fun.”

  except, sejoon didn’t know that you stopped drinking coffee two years ago. he didn’t know that you found little coffee shops pretentious and too hipster-y for your liking. you forced a smile. 

  jungkook always got you pastries straight from one particular bakery. he remembered your matcha order word for word. he made fun of coffee shops that tried too hard to be different with you. he. . . . he was now right in front of you?

  you made it known to jungkook that you loved seeing him in all black. as the first kiss of autumn dawned upon seoul, he donned a long sleeve dress shirt and slacks. tailored and in the consistent shade of all black, the sight lit a fire in your stomach and you found yourself in a haze of how good he looked. 

  jungkook never hid how attracted he was to you, even after all these years of being together. he scanned your appearance from head to toe, licking his lips. it was as if there wasn’t a whole third person in your presence, as explicit images ran through both of your minds. it’d been so long since you saw each other and the tension in the air was like molasses. 

  “hi y/n,” jungkook greeted, not even looking sejoon’s way, until the other male cleared his throat. “am i interrupting something?” the glare jungkook sent sejoon was sharper than a blade.

  sejoon rolled his eyes, already realizing his defeat. “yes, actually,” he replied. 

  your eyes remained trained on jungkook until that moment, where you had to physically shake it off. 

  “jungkook, you know sejoon,” you began reluctantly, noticing jungkook’s hard planted feet.

  he only grunted in response, still not caring enough to say anything to sejoon and acknowledge him. 

  at this point, sejoon was over it. he looked at you and then at jungkook’s menacing figure, arms crossed and glare still fixed. it was as if you watched him calculating his odds during this conversation and decided there was no winning.

  sejoon turned to you, a crease in between his eyebrows. “nice chatting with you,” he said and solemnly walked away.

  you would have otherwise rolled your eyes at such a dramatic reaction if it weren’t for jungkook standing in front of you. everything about him was so mesmerizing, as the time away truly made the heart grow fonder. the smirk pressed against his lips showed that jungkook knew exactly what kind of effect he still had on you.

  “i’ve missed you,” were the words that fell out of your mouth, almost instantly, and you wanted to kick yourself. how pathetic.

  jungkook eyed you. “didn’t look like it just now,” he tried to be casual, but the sharpness in his voice was loud.

  “still as jealous as ever, huh?”

  your initial tactic was to play hard to get - even if you and jungkook had been together for years, it’d been so long since you could just flirt and tease him. it was a spark that’d been missing for quite some time now. a smile played mischievously on your lips.

  truthfully, this was what jungkook needed. he was initially despondent upon your agreement to give each other space, sulking for several days until work got too busy to be dwelling on emotions. the time away and seeing you look at another man sparked something in him, too. his lids grew heavy.

  he said, “so, this is what space means for you, huh?”

  jungkook sounded as angry as he was hungry. it set him off, as his gaze lowered further and further down your body. on any day he would be ticked off, but his feelings of frustrations today instead felt warm and inviting. you froze when he stepped closer towards you, close enough that you could simply speak in secrets. 

  “i don’t know what you’re talking about,” was all that could come out of your mouth in a heavy breath, too mesmerized to make any further attempts at wit.

  he was now just about nose to nose with you, but you couldn’t muster up the strength to meet his eyes.

  “you’re nervous.”

  “no, i’m not,” you said, edge in your voice.

  lying right through your teeth wasn’t the best strategy when jungkook could see past it like glass. you were happy to flirt and dish it out, but being so close to jungkook so suddenly left you at a loss for words. you forgot where you were for a second and when you realized that the two of you were in public, your heart began beating like a butterfly’s wings. despite this, he was bold. he didn’t move an inch, willing to risk it all. 

  jungkook let out a low chuckle. “you won’t look me in the eye. you’re nervous, baby.”

  “what do you want, jungkook?” you asked slowly.

  his gaze trailed back to where sejoon walked off to. “what was all that about?” he said.

  the answer was glaringly obvious to you, as jungkook innocently brushed a hair from your eyes and you resisted the urge to shudder at his touch. nothing in the world compared to this feeling.

  “honestly?” you began, as identical smirks began to form on both of your faces. “nothing. nothing at all.”

  that was all that needed to be said. jungkook, without tearing his eyes away from you, wordlessly took his phone out of his pocket and made a call. he licked his lips as he spoke and everything else in the world faded to grey. jungkook was a cascade of the colours of the rainbow, illuminating brighter and brighter like the sun until you were blinded from seeing anything else. he was a kaleidoscope that shone in front of you and you were emerging from a place with no light.

  it took you a few moments to realize that jungkook was calling his driver. however, as far as he was concerned, the night wasn’t over - it was just getting started.

  jungkook finally stepped away and you somehow felt so cold. “i’m going to leave out of the west wing doors. my car is there. leave out the east wing doors and walk around to meet me.” his directions were precise and somehow not commanding. tone soft and a gentle hand on the small of your back, it was the worst feeling of all.

  familiarity. comfort. home.

  all you could do was nod, your chest growing louder with excitement. both of your synergies were one and you both knew what idea came to mind. not much else needed to be said and there wasn’t a single part of you that could say no. his knowing smile was haunting.

  after parting ways in opposite directions - as if a conversation didn’t even occur -  you eventually ended up in the back of a limousine with jungkook.

  time moved oddly in between those two moments, as the only thing you could think of was jungkook. it was an addiction no different than chips across a roulette layout or a cup of espresso at the same time everyday. 

  thankfully, the driver’s partition was already up when jungkook opened the door for you, because he immediately captured your lips before you could even sit down. like second nature, your fingers found themselves in the crown of his hair and his hand held your neck like a trophy. you both stumbled, now sat - at least he was. you were already straddling his lap. he tasted like red wine and you could have indulged for forever. 

  “mph, that’s what i fucking thought,” he mumbled against your lips and you took his as an opportunity to slide your tongue into his mouth.

  his hands began hiking your previously eloquent gown up, enough that he could grip your thighs from underneath. your own hands found the buttons of his shirt, as the limousine began to speed off in what were probably going to be circles until jungkook told the driver to stop. 

  being in love was a vicious cycle that proved to be endless. this pattern would only continue from here on out. no matter how deep your passions for each other ran and no matter how addicting each others’ touches were, it only grew worse from here. more fights than lasted weeks to only be swept under the rug with a fuck and make up or a bottle of whiskey shared between you both. growing issues that were overlooked because that was your best friend. 

  your heart was no longer in it - it was trapped. all you could do was forget and forgive. all jungkook could do was beg and shower you with love. the night at the charity ball was one of many roots that eventually grew into deep seated resentment.

LATEST HEADLINE TODAY: hotel azure: what is this up and coming spot for idols in south korea and why is it so special?ㅤㅤ

[natailiatulls07]

please more leclerc!reader with her brothers !!

Let her go

Arthur Leclerc Charles Leclerc Lorenzo Leclerc Pascale Leclerc & Leclerc!reader

Summary - Y/n is getting married and her older brothers is learning to let her go

Warning - Herve Leclercs death, poor translation of French

A/n - I know I haven't finished the golden trio but look I've been wanting to post a written fic for a while now and I have seen so many brothers first look tiktoks so thats what you're getting today!! 😚

-

2017

Herve Leclerc was on his last days when he called his three sons to his hospital room. "Papa? Is everything okay?" Lorenzo asked of his dying father.

"My three sons as you know I'm nearing my last day and I only have one thing to ask of you..." The three brother surrounded their fathers bed, Charles and Lorenzo sitting in seats on each side of the bed with Arthur sitting at the feet of the hospital bed. "I want you three to step up and take my place in protecting, caring and loving your sister"

Herve adored his sons equally but he had a different sort of adoration for his youngest. Since her birth, he has always thought of her as an angel. "Of course...we'll do anything you ask of us Papa" Charles answered his fathers orders, alike their father they also felt that level of undying adoration for their younger sister.

-

Charles had sat Y/n down on the plush couch in their Monte Carlo childhood home. "Chérie...Papa died last night" It broke the twenty year old's heart to see his sister find out about their fathers death. He could see her eyes gloss over and fill with salty tears.

He took her into his arms as she started to sob. "He loved you so much, and he said he will watch over us always..." He could feel himself breaking down at his sisters reaction. But Charles knew it was coming.

The twenty year old Monégasques knew it wouldn't be easy for anyone, not for their mother, not for him, Lorenzo, Arthur or her. But they would do what they always did, push through and come out stronger.

-

2023

Waking up today, all three of the Leclerc brothers knew it would be both a hard and joyous day for them. It was the day they would have to give away their sister, the sister they promised to their father they would cherish, protect and love in his place. But today they'd need to give her away to the love of her life.

They were staying in the childhood home, back in their childhood bedrooms. When planning her wedding with her fiancé, Y/n insisted they have it in Monte Carlo. Of course her fiancé agreed, knowing how she wanted to be close to her late father on her wedding day.

Getting out of his bed, Charles made his way down to the kitchen where Pascale and Lorenzo were sat eating breakfast. “Bonjour” He announced his presence before making a start on his coffee.

“So where is the bride?” Turning to look at his mother, Charles wondered how Y/n was feeling this special morning.

There was a audible sigh from Pascale. “Well your sister couldn’t sleep last night so I imagine she is currently still sleeping” Both Lorenzo and Charles had concerned looks on their faces.

Noticing their concern, Pacale continued "She couldn't sleep because she was too excited. Don't worry no cold feet" She knew every single one of her children, Pascale knew all too well that her three sons would be overly worried for their sister.

The two oldest sons just nodded, concern evidently gone.

-

There was a knock on the front door. Charles, who was talking with Arthur on the sofa, got up to answer the door. Behind the door stood, the maid of honour and the rest of the bridal party. "Hello Ladies, how can I help you?" Charles joked before stepping aside letting them in.

"We're here for the special bride, where might she be?" The maid of honour asked as she looked around the open plan kitchen and living room where Pascale, Arthur and Lorenzo currently sat. After hearing the question, Pascale quickly pointed up the stairs to which the excited party followed.

After watching the girls running upstairs, Charles moved to sit back down on the couch. As he sat down, all the Leclerc brothers and Pascale could hear was the sounds of excitement.

-

It had been a few hours since the bridal party arrived and everyone had now gotten ready. Standing on the balcony was Arthur, Lorenzo and Charles, all facing away from the balcony doors and more towards the Monte Carlo harbour.

Y/n insisted they do a first look for the brothers, so that’s why she was stood just behind her three older brothers. “Maman are you filming?” She asked of her mother who stood off to the side filming. Pascale nodded. “Okay, you guys can turn around now”

Turning around, each brother now faced their Y/n. She was dressed in her long white gown, hair done and makeup perfected. Tears welled up in their eyes, they could remember the day she was born and how they watched her grow up into the incredible woman.

“Oh chérie tu es si belle” Arthur was the first pipe up from their stunned state, walking towards her before bring her into a careful hug.

Soon enough Lorenzo followed, hugging his sister. “Je t'aime tellement petite princesse” Even now when she was just about to get married, he still used his nickname for her. The same nickname he has used since her birth.

After stepping aside, Charles was the last one to break his stunned state. “Cha Cha…?” Y/n called out for him, everyone knew he was the closest to her, that he loved her the most.

“Mon rayon de soleil…” Finally he stepped forward, taking her hands in his. “Je suis si fier de toi” Through his tears was a soft smile the same smile he had when Y/n started high school, when Y/n graduated and when Y/n was born.

The next question meant so much to Charles, even more than anything else. “Cha Cha…m'accompagner dans l'allée?” She was asking him to take their fathers place and walk her down the aisle before giving her away.

In that moment, he really felt like he had accomplished the one thing his father asked of him and that was to take his father place once he was gone.

Nodding aggressively, Charles crashed Y/n into a hug. “Oui oui oui bien sûr!”

-

[flawlessassholes]

Will we ever be blessed with more adventures of dirtbag Daniel x girl max?

considering they haunt my every waking moment with their disgustingness and love? yeah. Yeah. anyways here’s ~800 words of max trying to ‘apologize’ to daniel after baku 2017. (the apology may or may not be an offer of anal.) more under the cut!

It’s a tense fucking debrief after Max crashes him out of Hungary.

She’s red-faced, pouty, glaring at the table like it’s the steward who handed her the 10-second penalty. It wasn’t enough, Daniel thinks uncharitably. She’s going to be forced to apologize, and Daniel’s not going to accept. If she’s gonna act like the rookie she pretends not to be, then he’ll act like one back. She needs to learn that her actions have consequences, and since Christian wants to treat her like his golden little princess, that apparently falls to him.

The sun’s just gone down when she knocks on his motorhome’s door.

She’s still red-faced but freshly showered, her hair pulled back into two braids. Dutch, she explained after they fucked after he won Baku.

They haven’t since then. They won’t tonight, seeing as he’s still vacillating between throttling her and demanding she get sent back to Torro Rosso.

She holds up two beers. Awkward and stiff, like she doesn’t want to be here.

Daniel raises his eyebrows. “What are those? Apology beers?”

She nods.

He shuts the door in her face.

Childish, but Daniel never claimed to be anything otherwise.

“Daniel!” He can hear her huff. “Fuck you, Daniel, I am trying to be nice and do the right thing, and you of course won’t even let me because you are a massive dick and will only listen to me if—”

“Jesus Christ,” he yanks the door open to shut her up. He doesn’t know what’s at the end of her sentence, but he’s pretty sure Max isn’t above saying if I’m on your dick.

Which is, like, true. But he doesn’t need the entire paddock knowing that.

“Can you be any louder?” He asks. He shouldn’t because if there’s one thing he’s learned about Max between being teammates and fucking around with her, it’s that she’s got the humor of a nineteen-year-old guy when it comes to sex jokes.

Sure enough, she opens her mouth, big pink lips stretching wide, and he rolls his eyes. “Save it, will you? I’m not in the mood to pretend to laugh at your jokes.”

Max’s eyes narrow. “At least are you going to let me in?”

“Why, so you can give me a shitty beer and tell me that it wasn’t really your fault?”

“Well, I was going to let you fuck my ass, but—”

The rest of the sentence is lost to the sound of blood rushing to his head, or out of it, and him grabbing Max by the arm and pulling her inside, the door of the motorhome slamming shut.

“Jesus Christ, Max, you can’t just say that.”

“Well,” she says, far too smug. “It got me inside.”

“Oh, so that was just a tactic?”

Max frowns. “No, I meant it?”

Daniel shakes his head, takes one of the beers from her hand, opens it on the counter, and downs half of it as he sits on his couch, legs sprawled wide.

He wipes his mouth. Max is staring at his crotch. “It won’t be nice,” he says. “I’m too pissed at you to be nice.”

“I don’t need nice,” Max says immediately. Haughty. She sets the other beer on the counter and walks over to him. Most girls would try to be sexy, but Max is incapable. But despite her clunky, boyish walk, she still fucking is.

She straddles his lap, just like he taught her. “And you, of course, are never nice anyway.”

Max is a fast fucking learner when it comes to sex. Half a year ago, she couldn’t even initiate a kiss, and now she’s nosing at his neck and grinding on his lap. She’s still, like, hella awkward with it. But her inexperience—it’s heavy. And fucking hot. He said he wanted to be her first everything, and Max is apparently content to let him have at it.

He captures those plush, bitten lips in a hungry kiss, shamelessly groping her ass in her ugly khaki shorts. He can’t resist—he smacks her ass once, hard, and she yelps into his mouth.

“I am upset with you,” he says. She’s still writhing against him. Kinky. Neat.

“I am sorry,” she says, breathless as she pulls away. Then she climbs out of his lap, gangly and ungraciously, and pulls off her shirt and sports bra in one go.

He’ll never admit it, but her tits do make him forget why he’s mad in the first place.

“Alright,” he says, standing. “You want me to fuck your ass?”

He grabs her hips and spins her around so her ass is flush against his mostly-hard dick. He grinds against her, and she moans as she nods.

God, another first. He’s high with the thought.

He steps back. Spanks her ass again. “Get on the bed.”

[fanfictionalraven]

Full Moon

Title: Full Moon

Summary: It's the reader's favorite time of year and the new guy at school asks to hang out with her.

Characters: Teen!Reader, Teen!Dean Winchester, young Sam Winchester

Word Count: 2,267

Warnings: None

Author's Note: This story was originally posted by myself under the account Winchestersgirl92. It was published October, 2017.

“To the student or students who thought it would be funny to steal the distributor cap from my car, please return it now or you will be discovered and expelled,” the principal announces over the intercom system. You smile and shake your head as you pull your locker door open. It was your favorite time of year.

There was a crispness to the air outside and a beautiful golden and auburn tint to the leaves. Pumpkins, skeletons, and ghosts lined the houses in your neighborhood. Mischief was running rampant among your classmates and even a few of the teachers had gotten in on the fun. Today was Halloween.

The final bell had rung for the day and everyone was rushing to leave. You exchange your books, depositing most of them back into your locker. Only one teacher had been cruel enough to actually assign homework over the holiday weekend. You close your locker door and nearly jump out of your skin. The new guy was leaning against the locker next to yours, an almost irresistible smirk spread across his face.

“Can I help you?” You ask, crossing your arms over your chest. He and his brother had moved to your school about a week ago. You could tell automatically he was a “ladies man” but you hadn’t expected to be his first target.

“I’m Dean. You’re Y/N, right?” He asks. You nod your head once, catching a few jealous glares from the girls you had expected him to make his way through. You couldn’t deny he was attractive but you had no desire to become his first conquest at your school. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Straight to the chase, huh?” You ask. He shrugs his shoulders, that cocky smirk still plastered on his face. “I’m taking my little brother trick-or-treating.”

“What a coincidence, I’m taking my little brother out too. Maybe we could take them together,” he says. You let out a laugh and raise an eyebrow at him.

“Isn’t your brother a freshman?” You ask. He nods his head. “Isn’t he a little old to trick-or-treat?”

“Nah, Sammy loves it,” he says. You shake your head, smiling in disbelief. “We’re new to the area and I’m sure you know all the good spots. So, what do you say?” He asks. What do you say? He was pretty cute. And determined. With both your younger brothers with you, nothing could really happen so you couldn’t see the harm in it. You rip a piece of paper from your notebook and quickly jot down your address.

“For your brother’s sake,” you tell him, handing it over to him. “Be there at 5:00.” He smirks as he takes it then winks at you and walks away. You watch him go then shake your head as you turn the other way.

You get home that afternoon and immediately set about getting yourself ready. Your costume was simple, a long red skirt, a white sweater with a big R embroidered on it, a ponytail with a red bow, and some simple white tennis shoes. Your little brother had decided to be Dracula this year so you help him get ready. At 5:00 on the dot, your doorbell rings.

“Y/N!! Your friend from school is here,” your mother calls out to you. You smile at your little brother then bring him downstairs with you. Dean and his brother Sam are standing in the front foyer of your house, looking around in astonishment.

“Didn’t know you were rich,” Dean says. You roll your eyes then look at his brother. He’s wearing a white sheet with two holes cut out for eyes.

“What is that?” You ask, looking at Dean quickly. Dean looks at Sam then back at you and shrugs.

“A ghost?” He asks. You roll your eyes and reach to pull the sheet off of Sam.

“If you were going to force him to come, you could have at least bought him a better costume,” you tell him. Dean frowns and his eyes fall to the ground. The second the words are out of your mouth, you regret them. You’d heard that they were living in the old motel across town which obviously meant they didn’t have a lot of money. “I’m sorry.” Dean shakes his head and looks around your house again. “We’ve actually got some of my older brother’s old costumes down in the basement if you want to find something,” you tell Sam. He glances at Dean then shrugs his shoulders. “Come on.” You take Sam’s hand and pull him through the hall then down into the basement. You find the box and open it, allowing Sam to dig through. “I’m sorry he’s making you do this. We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Sam shrugs, looking at an old Superman costume.

“I don’t mind. Never really got to do much trick-or-treating before,” he says. You frown, your heart breaking at his words. He glances over at you. “He’s been talking about you a lot.”

“What?” You ask, looking up at him. He shrugs, looking back into the box.

“Dean’s been talking about you. Since the day we started at school. He really likes you,” he says, smiling as he finds another costume. “Can I wear this one?” He asks, holding up a Ghostbusters uniform. You smile at him and nod before showing him the bathroom upstairs. Going back into the foyer, you find Dean standing with his arms crossed.

“Sam said he hasn’t done much trick-or-treating before?” You ask. Anger flashes through Dean’s eyes quickly.

“We don’t need your pity, Y/N,” he says. Your eyes widen and you shake your head.

“No, Dean!! That’s not what this is,” you start. “Okay, maybe a little for Sam but I would actually like to hang out with you tonight while we give Sam a pretty good Halloween. If you still want to.” You bite your lip. Something new crosses Dean’s face, something you said triggering different emotions. He nods and smiles a little. Sam comes down the hall and Dean’s eyes widen before he starts to laugh.

“A Ghostbuster, huh?” He asks. Sam smiles widely and nods. You look between them, missing the joke.

“Alright. Count Dracula, let’s roll,” you call out. Your brother comes running in from the kitchen, a second pillowcase in his hands. He hands it to Sam who looks down at it in amazement.

“We’re gonna get this much candy?” He asks. You laugh and nod.

“Definitely,” you tell him. His eyes light up before the four of you leave the house. Several other families are already out on your street, making their way house to house. Your brother immediately takes the lead, Sam following him closely. You and Dean hang back, awkwardly silent as you stop at the first house.

“So,” Dean says, looking around. He shoves his hands in his pockets then looks over your costume. “What are you?”

“Sandy from Grease,” you tell him, running your hands over the red skirt. You look back to find him smirking again.

“That mean you’re gonna turn into Bad Sandy halfway through the night?” He asks. You throw your head back laughing.

“In your dreams, Winchester,” you tell him before following your brothers to the next house.

“You can count on that,” Dean says. Your cheeks heat up as you stop, watching your brother and Sam run up the stairs of a house.

“So what brings you here?” You ask, looking at him. He shrugs, watching Sam.

“My dad’s job. We move around a lot. Probably won’t be here long,” he tells you. You can’t help the rush of sadness that fills you. Obviously, you didn’t know him well at this point – you barely knew him at all honestly – but you weren’t fond of the idea of him leaving so soon.

“That your way of telling me you aren’t looking for a girlfriend?” You ask, glancing at him. He laughs and shakes his head.

“Just a fact,” he says. You smile at his laughter, watching it shake his whole body.

“Well maybe this time you’ll be able to stay for a while,” you say. He smiles and reaches over, catching your hand in his own. You should probably protest, not wanting to give him the wrong idea, but you don’t mind.

“Maybe,” Dean says, stopping at the fence of another house.

The sun sets slowly, seeming to reflect the beautiful fall colors across the sky. Your little brother and Sam fill their pillowcases before you all make your way to the city park. The community festival is in full swing when you arrive. Your brother and Sam split off, finding people from school to hang out with. Dean points out a group of teenagers by the apple bobbing station. You shake your head and pull him to the far side of the park where it’s more secluded. His arm comes around your waist, holding you close to his side.

“Pretty crazy about the principal’s car, huh?” He asks. You laugh lightly and nod. “Think they’ll catch the guy that did it?” You shake your head and he looks down at you. “Why not?”

“Cause everyone assumes it’s a guy,” you say, smirking up at him. His eyes widen quickly.

“You??” He asks. You smile and shrug, looking out to find your brother. He’s running around chasing a friend dressed as Frankenstein. Dean smiles and shakes his head. “I think I love you,” he says. You laugh and look back at him. “Why’d you do it?”

“He didn’t let us dress up for Halloween today,” you say, shrugging again.

“You’re really into all this, aren’t you?” He asks. You nod, feeling his hand start to rub your side slowly.

“You get to be someone else,” you tell him. He snorts and you look up at him.

“Why would you want to be anyone else? You’ve got everything you could ever want,” He says in disbelief. You smile a little and lay your head against his shoulder.

“Money doesn’t mean everything is always sunshine and rainbows, Dean,” you say. He nods his head slowly.

“I guess not,” he says. You stay this way, his arm wrapped around you tight, for a few minutes. He presses a kiss to the top of you head. “We’ve got some admirers.” You look up and find the group from school watching the two of you closely. You roll your eyes and step out of his arm, taking his hand.

“Let’s give them something to talk about then,” you say, pulling on his hand. He smiles as you lead him away from the crowds of people to a secluded clearing behind some trees. You stop and look up at the sky. “A full moon on Halloween.”

“That’s gotta be a bad omen or something,” Dean says, shaking his head. You turn to face him and wrap your arms around his neck.

“Nah, it’s good luck,” you tell him. He raises an eyebrow, his arms snaking around your waist.

“Is it?” He asks. You smile and stand up, pressing your lips against his. It’s a timid kiss, your lips just barely grazing against his. “Guess it is,” he mumbles, nodding his head. You let out a giggle and look away.

“It’s getting late. I should get my brother home,” you tell him.

“Can I take you out tomorrow night?” He asks, his nose nuzzling your cheek. You look back at him and nod.

“Yes you can,” you tell him. He smiles and moves to kiss you again but you lean away from him, smirking. “Tomorrow night.” He laughs lightly and nods.

“Okay,” he says. You take his hand again and pull him back to the main area. The two of you find your brothers. A quick kiss to his cheek and Dean promises to pick you up at 6:00 the following night.

The next night you put on your favorite dress. You fix your hair and make-up perfectly. 6:00 comes and Dean doesn’t. You wait for nearly an hour before deciding to go over to the motel yourself. Leaving your car running, you step into the main office connected to the string of run down rooms.

“Can I help you?” The man at the counter asks, not looking up. You bite your lip slightly.

“I’m looking for a family. The Winchesters. A man and his two sons,” you tell him. He nods slightly, flipping the page of his newspaper.

“Checked out this morning. Seemed to be in a rush,” he says. You stare at him for a moment then nod. Dean said they wouldn’t be around long. You hadn’t expected them to vanish overnight though. The man glances up at you then sets his paper aside. “Are you Y/N by chance?”

“I – I am,” you tell him, cautiously. He pulls open a drawer and hands you a small yellow envelope.

“One of the boys left this in case you showed up,” he says. You frown and take it before leaving the office. You pull a note out and quickly read it.

Y/N,

I’m so sorry. Dad’s job. We had to leave. Hopefully we’ll see each other again. Until then, wear this for luck.

Dean

You empty the rest of the contents of the envelope into your hand. A delicate silver chain falls out. You look over the necklace and find a tiny full moon charm attached to it. Your finger runs over the charm before you quickly fasten it around your neck. A stray tear slides down your cheek and you wipe at it quickly. You look up at the sky and smile, the full moon shining down on you.

[lovinbarzal]

GREATEST LOVE STORY | TZ11

trevor zegras x hughes! sister

masterlist | everytime this silly little country song plays, i can't help but think of trevor!!! idk why but i do lol | part two

They said I was nothing but a troublemaker never up to no good / You were the perfect all American girl wouldn't touch me even if you could

October 2017

Trevor Zegras. Team USA's playboy. Y/N Hughes. Team USA's Golden Girl aka Jack's sister.

The Hughes twins only ever had one rule for each other, FRIENDS ARE OFF LIMITS!. Y/n never had trouble with that rule.

Until Trevor Zegras came into play. Trevor was Jack's best friend and line mate.

The two met in their junior year. Y/n was studying in the living room with The Maze Runner playing in the background. It was quiet in the house. Quinn was at UMICH, her parents were having a date night, and Luke was upstairs probably playing video games. She was enjoying the peace until a group of 5 boys came running into the house. She knew all of them. Matt Boldy, Cole Caufield, Alex Turcotte, her brother, and- Wait...She thought. Who was this other guy?

"Jack!" Y/n exclaimed as the boys jumped all onto the couches crushing her exam books.

"Yes?" Jack innocently turned to his sister who glared at him.

"Mom said no friends." Y/n scolded crossing her arms.

"Hey guys!" Luke said coming down the stairs but was quick to stop as he saw Y/n's glare.

"Luke Warren Hughes, it is past your bedtime. Get your ass back to your room." The boy slowly turned to walk up the stairs before Jack stepped in.

"Luke, it's fine. Come on." Jack waved the boy down before Y/n punched his shoulder.

"No, Jack. I am not getting in trouble because of you." Y/n shook her head.

"Come on, dude. Take a chill pill." The unknown boy said.

"Do I know you? Didn't think so. Do you live here? Also didn't think so. Luke, go to your room." Y/n said pointing to his room.

"Be nice to my friends." Jack said as Luke went up the stairs.

"Whatever, Jack. I'm going upstairs." Y/n gathered her things before turning to the known boy, "I'm sorry for my comments earlier but never disrespect me in my own house."

"Goodnight Alex, Matt, and Cole. Fuck you, Jack." And with that the girl was already gone and up the stairs. Trevor watched as she walked up the stairs.

"What's up with her? She's usually nice." Matt asked as Jack went to change the tv.

"She's probably got a stick up her ass." Jack answered.

"I like it." Trevor said with a goofy smile on his face.

"Good luck with that, Trev. Jack never lets her date any of his teammates plus it looks like she already doesn't like you." Alex said pulling his phone out.

"I love a challenge." Trevor shrugged looking to Jack who rolled his eyes, "Come on, Jack. Let me be the exception."

"What? No. Plus she hates you and doesn't even know your name." Jack explained as he continued to flip through movies.

"How do you know she hates me?" Trevor exclaimed sitting up from his seat.

"She only apologizes after saying something to tell somaeone off if she dislikes you." Cole clarified with a shrug.

"Come on, man. Give me your blessing, Hughesy." Trevor got on his knees in front of the blond.

"Fine, Zegrase. If she falls for you than you have my blessing to date her." Jack shook his head before clicking play on Fast and Furious.

"Yes!" Trevor said pumping his fist in the air.

"Can't believe he just gave a TEAMMATE permission to date his sister." Cole said to Alex.

"That's cause she's not gonna fall for him. They're too different." Jack said as Trevor was doing a happy dance.

God, did Jack hope he was right.

But you was sneaking out your window everynight riding shotgun in my car / We go to the river and find us a spot and we probably went a little too far

Two Weeks Later

"Come on, Y/N/N. One chance! Please!" Trevor begged as Y/n shut her locker.

"No, Trevor." In the last two weeks, she learned his name and was constantly dodging his attempts to get with her. She knew his reputation.

"Please. I'm begging!" He said following her as she walked to her next class.

"Ugh! Fine! One date! That's it. One chance. Don't screw it up." She said before walking into her class. His smile widened as he walked to his class that he shared with Alex.

"What's got you so smiley?" Before Trevor could answer honestly, he received a text.

From: Y/N/N 💓

don't tell anyone. if we're doing this, we're doing it secretly.

"Oh, nothing." He said before replying.

To: Y/N/N💓

whatever you want, doll😉

From: Y/N/N💓

never use that emoji again.

He smiled as he put his phone in his pocket.

From: Trevor Zegras🫤

i'm outside

Y/n took a small breath before climbing out of her window.

She walked down the street to where she told Trevor to park. She wished she brought a jacket as it was cold. She saw Trevor sitting in his car looking at his phone.

He smiled when he saw her walk up to his car.

"Hey." She said getting into the car.

"Hi." He said with a giddy grin.

"Where are we going?" She asked putting her seat belt on.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out." He said pulling out from his parking spot.

"Can I play some music?" She asked reaching for the aux cord. Trevor nodded. She played her shared playlist that she had with her brothers thinking Trevor would like some of the songs but of course the first one to play was Taylor Swift's Speak Now.

"Oh my god." Trevor exclaimed as Y/n's eye widened with worry thinking he didn't like the song, "I love Taylor Swift."

Trevor reached to turn the song up and sang along. Y/n watched with a smile. Maybe going on this date with him wouldn't be too bad.

The two continued to sing along to the songs before reaching their destination.

"The Lake?" She questioned looking at the lake in front of her.

"I thought we could have a picnic." He said reaching into his backseat for the basket and blanket.

"And here's this." He added handing her one of his USA hoodies. "You looked cold."

She took the jacket with a smile before putting it on.

"Thanks." The two got out of the car.

Y/n slipped her hand into Trevors making his smile widen as a blush overtook her cheeks.

The two found a spot and ate the snacks that Trevor had packed. The two found themselves getting lost in conversation.

"Thanks for this." Trevor said looking at the girl.

"For what? You're the one who planned everything." She said tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"For saying yes." He said making the girl blush.

"I'm sorry for being so mean to you." She said scooting closer to him.

"It's ok. I was also a bit annoying." He said as the two leaned in.

"It's a bit annoying that you haven't kissed me yet." She said before slamming her lips on his. A simple kissed turned into a make-out which led to more.

By the time Y/n snuck back into her room, it was time for her to get back up for volleyball practice but she didn't even care how tired she was. She was more focused on what was to come with the boy.



Cause I was gonna be your forever / You were gonna be my wife // But I was what you wanted you were what I needed / And we could meet in between / We were gonna be the greatest love story this town had ever seen

Thanksgiving Day 2017

"We need to tell Jack." Trevor said to the girl as she walked back into her room. He was laying on her bed.

"Are you sure?" She said plopping next to him.

"Positive." He said pulling her close to him.

The two sat in silence until she broke it, "You're gonna be my forever"

"And you're gonna be my wife." He replied.

"So you're for real about telling Jack." Trevor nodded and Y/n sat up.

"Let's tell him tomorrow, then. Quinn comes home tonight so then if Jack tries to kill you, Quinn will be there to stop him." She said making her laugh.

"He actually said I had his blessing." Trevor said with a smile.

"Did he really?" She asked with her brows furrowed.

"Yeah. That night I met you. I knew you would be mine." Trevor said pulling her back down next to him.

"We are gonna be the greatest love story this town has ever seen" He said kissing her temple.

So you went off to college and I got a job I was working that 9 to 5

The Draft Day ended up coming faster than the two had thought. The two had been avoiding the question of what would happen when Trevor gets drafted to Anaheim.

Y/n had been accepted to UMich and Trevor was gonna play for Boston before going to the Ducks.

Y/n sat next to Jack while Trevor sat a couple rows back. Y/n was a wear a simple black dress with heels and her hair was pinned back in a half up half down look.

She turned in her sear and sent Trevor a smile as the ceremony started.

As expected, Jack went first overall to the New Jersey Devils. He hugged his twin as soon as his name was called.

Then came the moment that the couple was dreading, Trevor Zegras went 9th overall for the Ducks. As Trevor came down the stairs, Y/n met him and took his jacket as well as gave him a hug.

"We'll talk later." He whispered in her ear and she nodded as he made his way to the stage.

Screaming for the days when you were coming back, no couldn't come to soon

The two called it quits the next day. Trevor was playing for Anaheim and Y/n was studying to become a nurse in Michigan.

The two both knew it had to happen so it was mutual but that didn't mean it didn't hurt the two any less.

They partied that night as if everything was gonna be okay.

They knew fate would bring them back together because both of them knew they were gonna be the greatest love story the world has ever seen.

[warningsine]

Good post op.

For those interested, here are some such films to know herstory:

"Mädchen in Uniform" (1931)

"Anna and Elizabeth" (1933)

"All about Eve" (1950)

"Olivia" (1951)

"Mädchen in Uniform" (1951), dir. Géza von Radványi

"Girls in Uniform" (1951), dir. Alfredo B. Crevenna

"No Exit" (1954)

"The Girl with the Golden Eyes" (1961)

"Walk on the Wild Side" (1962)

"The Nun" (1966)

"Persona" (1966) (yes, I'm including it)

"Belle de Jour" (1967)

"Les Biches" (1968)

"The Killing of Sister George" (1968)

"Baby Love" (1969)"

"The Exquisite Cadaver" (1969)

"The Vampire Lovers" (1970)

"Daughters of Darkness" (1971)

"The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant" (1972)

"The Beguines" (1972)

"Successive Slidings of Pleasure" (1974)

"Twice a Woman" (1979)

"Desert Hearts" (1985)

"I’ve Heard the Mermaids Singing" (1987)

"Betty" (1992)

"Les Voleurs" (1996)

"8 Women" (2002)

"Nathalie…" (2003)

"Night Fangs" (2005)

"Backstage" (2005)

"Pretty Persuasion" (2005)

"Loving Annabelle" (2006)

"The Page Turner" (2006)

"Notes on a Scandal" (2006)

"Bandaged" (2009)

"Chloe" (2009), American remake of "Nathalie…"

"Cracks" (2009)

"Gigola" (2010)

"Bloomington" (2010)

"A Perfect Ending" (2012)

"Concussion" (2013)

"Nymphomaniac: Vol. II" (2013) (going controversial with this one)

"Tru Love" (2013)

"Clouds of Sils Maria" (2014)

"Sand Dollars" (2014)

"The Duke of Burgundy" (2014)

"Unexpected" (2014)

"4.48" (2014)

"Carol" (2015)

"Freeheld" (2015)

"Summertime" (2015)

"AWOL" (2016), dir. Deb Shoval

"Bird of Prey" (2016)

"Foreign Body" (2016)

"Allure" (2017)

"Atomic Blonde" (2017)

"Daphne du Maurier: In Rebecca’s Footsteps" (2017)

"The Party" (2017)

"You, Me and Him" (2017)

"Lizzie" (2018)

"The Favourite" (2018)

"Suspiria" (2018)

"The Bisexual" (2018)

"Clementine" (2019)

"Greta" (2019) (anon's* choice ❤️)

"Saint Maud" (2019)

"Ammonite" (2020)

"I Care a Lot" (2020)

"T11 Incomplete" (2020)

"Take Me Home" (2020)

"Parallel Mothers" (2021)

"Vigil" (2021)

"Benedetta" (2021)

"Anaïs in love" (2021)

"Eileen" (2023)

"May December" (2023)

Some of them are subtextual, some of them explicit, some--to use Tumblr's favorite word--problematique, some do not revolve around romance, some are cinematic masterpieces, some utter trash.

*Edit:

Ok, I laughed out loud, but on second thought? #valid

[boobabietch]

Chapter II: "A Rookie’s Obsession, A Legend’s Indifference: Is Diana Taurasi ready for Victoria O’Hara?” | Diana Taurasi x OC

Warnings: fight fight fight!! And a tad bit narcissistic Diana

A/N: I’m having a shitload of fun writing this lmao, so here’s another chapter I hope you like. As always English is not my first language so if you find something wrong tell me so I can change it asap, I can’t wait for y’all to read this and the next chapters I’m so excited. Likes, comments (!!!) and reblogs are highly appreciated and my ask box is always open. Love Sof :))

Making headlines masterlist

There’s a funny thing about being the best in women’s sports. People either love you or wait for you to fall. But when you’ve been around long enough, it doesn’t matter what they think. You know your place. And you protect it.

That’s what I’ve been doing since my debut in the WNBA. Owning the court. Owning the pressure. Every game, every season, everyone expects the same thing from me: perfection. Winning is never enough because when your name is Diana Taurasi, nothing is ever enough.

Then, she showed up.

Victoria O’Hara. The rookie everyone wouldn’t shut up about. Reminded me of me, hungry, talented, a little too much attitude for her own good. The first time I saw her was just before our game against San Antonio. I’d heard her name, knew she had something. But there’s a difference between hype and reality.

May 19, 2017

Game day. I could feel her eyes on me during warm-ups, it was cute honestly, I could see the gears working hard on her mind, probably wondering what it’s like to be me, to dominate the way I have. They all wonder. But what she didn’t know yet is that being good in college doesn’t mean shit here. Welcome to the W, kid.

I didn’t give her a second glance. What was there to say? Another rookie trying to prove something. I’ve seen it all. I’ve been that girl. But this one, this woman, had something extra in her. I could see it the minute the game started. Every time she took a shot, it was like she was aiming at me, if I didn’t know she wanted to rip my throat out I’d say she was in love. Every drive, every step, was a challenge.

I could hear the yelling in the crowd, I’d hear her teammates tell her to relax, feel the energy shift. People loved watching us, golden veteran vs. golden rookie. A fucking classic. O’Hara wanted to make a statement. I could tell she was on the edge, burning herself out just to prove she belonged. And every time, I’d remind her, I’ve been there. I’ve fought harder battles. If she wanted to be the next big thing, she was going to have to earn it. She was good, but I wasn’t worried. I’ve dealt with players like her before. They rise fast, burn out faster. But this one... she kept pushing.

Every game we played after that, it was like she had a personal vendetta. I couldn’t walk on the court without feeling her eyes drilling into me. She was obsessed. It was funny, really. This kid was trying so hard to beat me, to make me see her.

I saw her. I always see them coming.

July 7, 2017

We were in San Antonio. Close game. O’Hara played her heart out, I’ll give her that. But we still won. After the game, I found her slumped on the bench, wiped out. I should’ve just left her there. But something in me couldn’t resist. The kid had fire. I respected that.

“Not bad, O’Hara. Keep it up, and you might actually be a challenge someday.”

Her face said it all. She was rattled, but she had that spark. I liked seeing it. She looked at me like she was trying to figure out if I was serious. I was. Kinda. Then, she shot back:

“Someday? I’m already a problem for you.”

I almost laughed. Her confidence was impressive, misplaced, but impressive. I glanced down, smirked. Let her have that moment.

“Of course you are,” I said, walking off.

Sometimes I wonder what things would be like if I never said that, lucky for everyone I did.

July 30, 2017

Maybe I overestimated how in control I am of everything; the game, the rookie, and my body.

We were playing again, tensions running high. It was bound to happen. O’Hara wanted her moment, wanted to prove herself. And me? I wasn’t giving her an inch. Then, somewhere in the third quarter, it happened.

I saw her coming, her eyes locked on me with a mix of defiance and determination. She made a quick drive, cutting to the basket with an intensity that almost made me respect her. But I wasn’t about to let a rookie get one over on me. I slammed into her, blocking her path with enough force to knock her off balance. She hit the floor hard, her elbows scraping against the court. The whistle blew, and for a moment, I watched her lay there, her frustration almost palpable.

“Get up,” I muttered, standing over her. “You’re gonna need more than that to take me down, rook”

I saw the anger in her eyes as she pushed herself up, pressing her chest on mine. Damn, was she this tall the whole time? The way she glared at me, it was almost as if she was daring me to push her further. “You think you’re untouchable? Just fucking wait.”

My smirk didn’t waver. I’d seen that fire in rookies before, puffed up, ready to prove themselves. “I don’t think, O’Hara. I know.” I said with the most arrogant tone I owned.

“Oh you’re just a fucking bitch, aren’t you?” Before I could react further, she shoved me hard. Everyone erupted into chaos. I felt the rush of adrenaline as I moved to shove her back, but the moment I lunged, my teammates were already there, hands gripping my arms and holding me back.

O’Hara wasn’t any better off. Many of her teammates were swarming around her, trying to pull her away from me. I could see the frustration in her eyes as she struggled against their hold, her fists clenched and ready to throw.

Fun fact about fights: when you need the strength of 4 pro basketball players to hold you back, it makes you look really fucking dangerous.

We both tried to break through the human barriers restraining us. I could almost feel the impact of our fists connecting, the unfinished fight burning in my veins. But with every struggle, every strained push against the hands holding us back, the reality set in: we were not going to get to finish this here.

I didn’t care. I didn’t care about the cameras, the refs, or the impending technical. All I cared about was feeling that fire she was throwing at me. I wanted her to know what it felt like to face me, to try and break through the wall I’d built around myself.

Eventually, the refs managed to get us both under control, leading us to opposite sides of the court. As I was pulled away, I couldn’t help but glance back at O’Hara, her eyes still blazing with that same fire. Despite the chaos, a small part of me felt a twisted respect for her, a rookie who was not just willing to challenge me, but was ready to throw down if necessary.

The arena buzzed with excitement and disbelief as we were separated, but the fight between us was far from over.

That was the moment I knew this kid wasn’t going anywhere. And maybe, just maybe, I’d finally met someone who could keep up.

Little did I know.

Fucking Victoria.

"Rivalry Ignites: O’Hara and Taurasi Get into Fiery Altercation During Friday Game"

"San Antonio Stars Victoria O’Hara Adidas Grey and Black Edition Player Jersey | SOLD OUT"

Requests are Open!

Masterlist

[smolwritingchick]

Smol Oneshot: First Fight

Author's Note: Well since I'm on my computer, I'll share this old thing I wrote years ago from my documents. I am still trying to figure out what I want Jennie (OC) and Jungkook's first fight as a couple to be. But it will happen in 2017. I do plan to put this in my story. I may add on and modify it as well. Let this hold you! :)

--------

The members selected to go bowling and Jungkook decided to join. But while there, he was scowling the whole time and watched the game instead of joining like he would normally do. Adjusting the black cap on his head, he angrily glanced at Namjoon and Angelina, who were acting all mushy together. 

The Golden Maknae rolled his eyes. This was a bad idea. Why did he come here? This would only make him madder since he didn’t have his girl with him. It irked him to see happy couples around. He glanced at the empty seat next to him. That seat was supposed to be for Jennie. But a few days ago, they had their first fight as a couple.

Jungkook was frustrated. This was his first serious relationship and he didn’t know how to handle the situation. Some things were said, and things got heated during their argument. But despite all of that, he still loved her dearly and lowkey wished that she would apologize first so they could move on. Jennie probably felt the same way, hoping he would apologize since they both were as stubborn as ever. Jennie had a mouth when she got upset. She remained firm and voiced her opinion until she said what she had to say in their argument. She wasn’t one to back down so easily. She tried her best not to lash out and had trouble keeping her mouth shut but he kept pushing her buttons. And she kept pushing his.

Were relationships always this hard?

You feel like everything is perfect but after one fight, you feel like your world is crashing down and things may come to an end. 

Do all couples deal with fights like this?

How do couples overcome issues like this?

Were they freaking out over nothing and things will be back the way they were soon?

Sure, they bicker from time to time and have disagreements but it was never this bad. The day after their fight, the members noticed the tension, right away. The 95 Liners freaked out, worried to death when they didn’t see JenKook together. It startled everyone to see that they hadn’t said a word to one another. Their managers and Bang PD were even concerned.

JenKook began to ignore each other, keeping their distance. But over time, the members would regard the couple stealing glances at one another, unmistakably indicating that they missed each other. All Jungkook wanted to do was hold and kiss her but he assumed that she was still mad at him.

Having enough, Jungkook snapped at Angelina and Namjoon after seeing them kiss. “Can you two stop kissing in front of me like that!? I didn’t come here for a friggin’ show!”

His sudden shout prompted the members to stare at him, startled. The Golden Maknae immediately got scolded by a few of his hyungs for how he was acting.

“Unnecessary! Apologize, right now! That was so rude of you," Jin said with a disappointed look. 

Angelina frowned, understanding what he had said in Korean. It was clear that Jungkook was hurting. She knew he didn’t mean it. He just wanted Jennie, and she was damn sure that Jennie was hurting as well and wanted him, too. 

She thought about their conversation earlier today.

------

“Are you seriously not going to bowl with us? So, what are you gonna do? Stay in the hotel all day? Girl, if you don’t join us.” Angelina exclaimed, crossing her arms in front of Jennie who was seated on her bed.

“I just don’t want to go. I don’t feel like bowling, okay?” she responded.

“Is this because of your boyfriend?” 

From the look on Jen’s face, she was right.

Jennie didn’t want to upset Jungkook even more, so she decided to give him space until they cooled down. Seeing him so upset during that fight broke her heart and Jungkook felt the same, seeing her so upset with him.

Jen admitted that she was scared. This was their first big fight and she was wondering how they would recover from this. She did not want to give up on him and she refused to allow her relationship with him to end over a fight. 

As time went on, all she wanted to do was hug and show him how much he meant to her but she still stayed away, assuming that he didn’t want to speak with her anytime soon.

“I seriously think that you two need to be locked in a bedroom, together. Nothing like love and physical affection after you two finally decide to talk it out~.” Angelina teased, hoping to get some type of reaction out of her but it didn’t work. “Okay, but seriously. You two should really talk it out.”

Angelina also reminded Jennie that she felt the same. She felt frustrated and furious with Namjoon but Jen had helped her when they had their first fight. 

“I was this close to breaking up with Namjoon. But who talked some sense into me and gave me advice? You. You gave me a long ass pep talk and you told me that communication is key. Remember? This time, follow your own advice. Communicate with your man. Things will be OK.”

-------

Jungkook stood up and grumbled. “I’m leaving...”

Watching him storm off, Namjoon sighed and rubbed his temples while Hobi said, “I did not think it was this bad.”

“All right, we are fixing this ASAP! Jimin and I did not spend months trying to get Jennie and Jungkook together only for it to end over a bad fight. We gotta do something!” Taehyung suggested.

“Yeah! My heart is aching over this! This is not supposed to happen!” Jimin whined.

And they did as the members forced JenKook to go out to dinner with them the next evening. No matter what excuse they made, everyone made sure to drag them to dinner. It was so weird to not have JenKook drive everyone crazy with their goofy antics and not seeing them so close. Things needed to go back to normal.

Being sly at dinner, Taehyung and Jimin, made the couple sit across from each other at the table. Everyone watched their every move, noticing the accidental touches when they were getting food. Throughout the night, the Golden Couple would unintentionally brush their feet and legs against one another. The endless staring and averting of their eyes also amused the members.

“I saw that.” Jimin sipped his drink.

“I did too,” Hobi murmured.

“Mm-Hm,” Taehyung added.

After dinner, the members went roller skating to pass the time. Jen was glad that she went because it was hilarious to see everyone falling on their asses and bumping into people. It had been a while since she went roller skating, and as she skated around, she ended up losing her balance and prepared for the worst.

Abruptly, her Golden Boyfriend came to her rescue, catching her just in time. It was like he had been watching her, making sure she was safe ever since she put her skates on. Feeling his warm hands on her skin, gave her that strong urge to hug him as he helped her balance and stand on her feet.

His eyes showed concern and tenderness as he murmured, “You all right?”

After she told him she was fine, he went on to skate ahead and she realized how much she missed him. She finally decided that she was going to pull him aside and ask to talk about their fight in private after they were done skating. No more being stubborn about this.

Minutes later, it was Jungkook that had fallen on the floor thanks to Hobi accidentally bumping into him. Seeing a pair of skates by his legs, Jungkook looked up to see Jennie extending her hand. It seemed like she was trying not to laugh at how “gracefully” he fell. That smile she was fighting warmed his heart as he took her hand.

After helping him up, she said, “Be careful,” before skating away.

Once she was done skating, Jen exchanged her skates for her shoes, thinking of how she should approach Jungkook. She then noticed that he was exchanging his skates as well when she turned in his direction. 

“Babe, can we please talk?”

“Honey, can we please talk?”

They both said simultaneously. Hearing them use one of their names for each other made their hearts flutter. It was moments like that where they could never remain mad at each other.

“I guess we were both thinking the same thing.” he smiled softly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I wanted to speak with you privately about our fight. We should sit down and talk about it.”

“Yeah. Let’s walk back to the hotel to talk. Get away from the public.” he gently grabbed her hand, walking her outside.

What they both wanted to do was sit down, talk about the argument, resolve it, and move on so they could be happy again. It seemed like they were about to move in the right direction to make up.

“Hey, look! They’re leaving together!” Taehyung happily announced.

Jimin, getting so excited while skating and watching them leave, smacked himself against the wall and fell. Loud laughter was heard from the members as they teased him. After pulling themselves together, they sat down, discussing JenKook.

“Finally talking like adults. About time.” Angelina sighed out of relief.

“Should we head back, too? Should we really leave them alone like that? Don’t you think we should make sure they’re fine?” Jin suggested.

“No way!” Taehyung exclaimed. “We’re staying here!”

“Nah, leave them alone,” Yoongi responded.

“They’re fine and besides those kids need some serious alone time,” Namjoon added. “Let them get it all out of their systems and talk it out.”

The 95 Liners glanced at each other with knowing looks and giggled to themselves.

“Yeah, let them talk it out.” Taehyung went on, nudging Jimin.

“Yeah, talk,” Jimin responded sarcastically with an amused look.

[madphantom]

I'm not very good at remembering faces but what I am good at for some reason is remembering the way people sound, their eye colours and hands. My dad's keys sound heavier than my mum's and he misses the keyhole more frequently before opening the door. Every second step when my friend walks through campus is a little bit louder. The city museum's security guard walks slowly and heavily. I still remember that the receptionist of a hotel I was in in 2017 had light brown eyes with an almost golden center. The girl who bullied me in sixth grade had pale blue eyes with brown spots. My dad's cousin has dark brown eyes that sharply contrast everyone's light blue at family gatherings. My childhood friend has pale hands with long fingers and always slightly bloody knuckles. The guy I played table tennis with in a tent camp this summer had veiny hands and always wore six silver rings. My friend's hands always shake a little bit and he has somewhat faded knuckle tattoos. Idk it's kinda cute that even if I can't remember people's faces I can still have reminders of what they're like.

[hazellvsq]

hazel levesque fic recs:

i put this together from ao3 and ff.net, the criteria is that the fic is good and does something interesting with hazel. most of them are under 10k or 5k words, and i tried to roughly group them by pairings or by subject so people can go for what they're interested in (romance, friendship, au, whatever)

pre-series: Horses by SpellStorm, Opposites by Band10hut, A Land Beyond the Gods by TagTheScullion, Unnatural, A Minimal Height of 54 by hecatea, blessed joan, duty bound to God, give me courage by staybeautifulnow, Hazebug by Leaf Skeletons

gen/au: Hazel’s Problem by MikeWritesThings, Ignis Aurum Probat by romanitas, not a second time by seaweedbraens, A Short Story on the Revival of Hazel Levesque by LastHope, the end of the line by Pets, all my flowers grew back as thorns by revelationinthelightofday, when i'm ready i will fly us out of here by blackcatintherue, Sixty Days, Make Death Wait, Maximum Security, So Be It, A Brief History of Dance by HecateA, Turn My Sorrow into Treasured Gold by Thatcrazyfan, Tired by Donzepan, Cross My Heart And Hope To Die, interregnum by bunnyinthemeadow, golden gods by adaimperium

hazel and nico: How the Death Squad Saved New Years by scrhaiser, We Have Each Other Now by ikeasharksss, Brother of the Bride by celestialshimmer, Centuries by FlyingBoar, in the bleak midwinter by yrbeecharmer, i don't wanna be alone like this (why don't you make it what you want it to be) by rainnows, Those Who Run by HecateA, spring's stepchildren by dovetail (icedmango)

frazel: Do I Wanna Know by PastyPirate, Cold Toes Heavy Shoulders, Burned Out, Behind the Scenes by notcoolenoughtobehere, In the Stables by TheGirlWhoRemembers, Un Peu d’Amour, un Brin de Miel by mautadite, ghost hunter, 20 by waddled, It's Nice To Have You With Me Tonight by queerlettuce, A Way to Hurt by FoxyAtlas, I'll Keep You Warm (When You're Frozen to the Bone), Half bloods, assemble!, HALLOWEEN EXTRAVAGANZA 2017 by sssssssim

hazel friendships: the sketchbook, The Red of the Rising Sun by femmepire, mea maxima culpa by ExceedinglyPeculiarChick, For the girls by MagnusFierro2020, Embers in My Fingers by auristelaswife, Old Eyes by theforgetfulalchemist, Hazel's Hair by Vikingfangirl23, dance of the corpses by rosegoldblood, just as we have by 723, Hold on to the memories (they will hold on to you) by anna_was_here, if we make it through december, everything's gonna be alright, i know by polypanpercyjackson (ineedibuprofen), Cards, Monster Fighting, and Other Girly Things, glitter in their eyes, smoke in their lungs by ash_ish, Outside Assistance by malrie

hazel rarepairs: Hazel’s Wash Day by afuckingcastleintheclouds, Birthday 20 by HecateA, Master of the Stick by ryoku, Domestication of the common vampire, Reunion by historicallyredacted, digital love by rosegoldblood, aurum et argentum, There's something in the way you roll your eyes by Thunder3Zigon7, our love was made for movie screens by levesquelsimp

ensemble fics/non-hazel fics with good hazel content: twist your brain around by artfulacrostic, Tattoo by ricecookerwritings, Stucco Hearts by ananbeth and writergirl8, The New Rule by books4belle, Siamo Nei Guai by kingburu, a necessary not-evil by Notebrooke, Mortals Meet Demigods by MaryaDmitrievnaLikesSundays, Apartment 305 by waddled, we could walk straight through hell (with a smile) by seaweedbraens, Hold Tight and Pretend it’s a Plan by Rynna_Aurelius, The Standard Job by CrystalZelda, Caged by historicallyredacted, Connected by Chaoticneutralpaladin, memento mori by rosegoldblood, Invictus Maneo by adaimperium, Only Honey in the Valley by Baye

[asoiaf-fancasts]

Sansa Stark - Fancasts

Age: 11 - 13

Appearance: She is traditionally beautiful by Westerosi standards. She has high cheekbones, deep blue eyes and thick soft auburn hair that is lighter than her mother’s. She is described as tall, graceful and ‘womanly’. Her hair is dyed when she becomes Alayne.

Character: Elizabeth Tudor [Younger]

Actress: Claire MacCauley

Show: The Tudors [2007] [Season 3]

[Unknown age, looks to be between 7 - 9 so good for pre-cannon or maybe book 1. She has light auburn hair and high cheekbones but her eyes are the wrong colour. She wears 16th century clothes.Sorry for the bad quality photos, couldn’t find better.]

Character: Elizabeth Tudor [Younger]

Actress: Summer Rose Allison

Movie: Elizabeth I [2017]

[Unknown Age, looks about 8 ish - 11 so around the right age for when she arrives in Kings Landing or when she’s at Winterfell. She is pretty with thick auburn hair but doesn’t have deep blue eyes but she has high cheekbones. She wears 16th century clothes.]

Character[s]: Thyra [Younger] & Elizabeth Tudor

Actress: Madeleine Power

Show[s]: The Last Kingdom [2015] & Six Wives with Lucy Worsley[2016]

[Unknown Age, was playing a 9 year old in both and looks to be around that age maybe a year older in the Six Wives. Her hair is a light auburn but it’s thin and she has brown eyes unfortunately but she does have high cheekbones. She wears Norse ish clothes in the last kingdom and 16th century clothes in the six wives.]

Character[s]: Mary & Lily Evens [Younger]

Actress: Ellie Darcey-Aiden

Show: Robin Hood [2006] [Season 3 & 1 Episode]

Movie: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

[She is 9 in Robin Hood so too young but she interacts with a character who looks like the hound and is in more accurate clothes. She is the right age for her in the first few books in the Harry Potter movie at 11/12. She is pretty with light auburn hair and high cheekbones but has the wrong eyes. She wears relatively modern clothes in Harry Potter so it’s only good for close ups but Robin Hood’s mediaeval ish.]

Character[s]: Maria Merryweather & Lyra Belacqua

Actress:Dakota Blue Richards

Movie[s]: The Secret of Moonacre [2008] & The Golden Compass [2007]

[She was 12/13 during these movies so around the right age for her in later books. She is pretty with light auburn hair and has high cheekbones but the wrong eyes. She wears modern clothes in Golden Compass and fantasy clothes in Moonacre.]

Character: Elizabeth Tudor

Actress: Laoise Murray

Show: The Tudors [2007] [Season 4]

[She is 13 during this season so good for Sansa in later books. She is pretty with auburn hair and high cheekbones.She has light but not blue eyes.She wears 16th century clothes.]

Character: Estella [Younger]

Actress: Helena Barlow

Movie: Great Expectations [2012]

[She was 13 during the making of the movie. She has thick light auburn hair and has blue ish green eyes. She wears Victorian ish clothes.]

Character: Felicity

Actress: Shailene Woodley

Movie: An American Girl Adventure [2005]

[She was 13/14 during filming so the right age for Sansa in later books and the Winds of Winter. She is pretty with auburn hair and high cheekbones but she doesn’t have blue eyes. She wears 18th century ish American clothes.]

Character: Estella [Younger]

Actress: Izzy Meikle-Small

Show: Great Expectations [2011]

[She was 14/15 during the filming of this show so good for Winds of Winter. She is pretty with brown hair that would suit Alayne with hints of auburn in the right light and she has high cheekbones plus she has blue eyes. She is unfortunately average height.She wears early 19th century clothes.]

[a-spicy-reader]

Sativa

Synopsis: Lee SooHyuk raises his heavy eyes, the black cap covers him a little and it bothers you. The man places his palm in front of the cigarette and lights it the first time his finger rolls around the lighter. The first drag is strong, he bites in, letting the smoke penetrate his lungs for a few seconds and then slowly releasing it.

---------

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

English is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes

-----------

The beat of the music numbs your ears as you peek through the gap in the curtain at the number of people that night. A packed house, no other girl was at your level when it came to entertainment and it was exactly for this reason that there were two security guards in front of the stage so that no guy would touch you.

The limits are established between touching the garter attached to the thigh and the panties tight inside the ass, practically invisible when standing. Her heels click against the floor as the name is announced and the screams intensify like a choir.

You didn't dream of being a stripper when you were younger, you didn't want to have that life for so long… that was the thought you walked through the front door of Holy Girls Night.

The first time on stage seemed scary and you felt like giving up everything, but it was that guy who looked at your show and said: — You'll be the best in this place, I have no doubt.

The tone of voice was as deep as thunder, that statement sounded like a prophecy. It didn't take more than nine months for Cheryl to be the best-known name in all the nightclubs in Los Angeles.

The transformation happened on stage when the white light on your face meets the spotlights that illuminate the pole, the noise around you doesn't intimidate you and you become the woman that all those men would like to take home.

Such a short dress without any staging, her bare back amidst her hair loose in curls that reach the top of her ass, she smells her own perfume exhale and likes it, she feels the vibration of the sound pulsate in her body and begins dancing slowly to the beats of the chosen song.

The first turn around the pole makes you see your audience from the front, not smile. Just see them as they really are, a shower of money. Sensual music plays in the background, concentrated on the beat as you walk in front of the catwalk and go down to the first man who looks mesmerized at your thighs, squats with his legs squeezed together and rolls as if he were on top of a dick. The first notes start to be played on top of her without so much effort.

A delicious and exorbitant euphoria grew in your chest, the feeling that there was no woman in the world who was as hot as you. She gets on all fours with her ass stuck out towards them, rolls slowly and then gets up, moving her hands from her ankles until she reaches her thighs.

She turned around and placed her hands on the hem of the silver dress she was wearing, moving her hands up her body and grabbing her breasts. The euphoric screams increase when she puts her fingers on the curve of her neck and pulls the metal strip that holds that piece of cloth that she called a dress.

At the exact moment the piece falls onto your acrylic platform sandals, money rains down like a storm outside. The breasts were completely exposed, with only the nipples covered with a small silver sticker. The panties are so small that they barely cover your crotch and yet you don't care about that, you love and vibrate with every scream of your name, with all the nasties that could say… it's exciting. Being hot turned you on, you know you're too good not to be a pure exhibitionist.

Among familiar faces, the man in the black cap is near the bar, you can barely see him due to the reflection of the lights. But, his golden chain shines among the others, his presence is marked as usual. Every Friday he would be there, watching his work from afar.

This encourages her to be much more provocative, makes her want to be the devil in the heads of all those men. I wanted to turn them inside out every time I spun around on the pole, slowly climb up letting them see my ass, use my body weight to float one foot behind the other, walking on air while my hands are firmly holding the post. The sensuality increases when it rises to the top and quickly descends, reaching half of it, with the legs around it, grabbing it between the thighs and falling back with the torso looking at the others in front.

Everything is about the size of your ass, how those panties would be swallowed up on the next climb and that it would end the next second you hit the catwalk again. He climbs the pole once again and comes down, spreading his legs in a perfect scale, the eminent madness of all those men when his ass moves sensually one side at a time, swings it with such ease and the rain doesn't stop falling in over you.

Standing on all fours again, he adjusts his posture for his final act. Crawl to the middle of the walkway and lie down with your belly up, raising your legs in the air and open them slowly as you get up to sit down, it is possible that he will see you on the side of the bar, the perfect view of the woman who left him completely mad.

Not so different from the other men there, completely maddened by the idea that that woman would rip out his soul if she could, she would transform him into her faithful slave.

Cheryl ends the show and the lights go out, now was the exact time to collect the money as she gathered the bills she won in her arms. It takes exactly 60 seconds for her to do this.

The clothes were collected by the team that cleaned the stage for the next girl, but there was no next girl after her show. It was the grand finale, the best in the house, the one she was keeping in that place just by showing her ass.

Backstage is not as glamorous as it appears to be on stage. The number of girls who dress up for the salon, willing to make more money from their audience seems formidable.

It excites you, it stirs up the lioness hungry for meat, money and everything those men could offer. Cars, jewelry, mansions, marriage proposals and the most common: drugs.

You could stay to move around the room, make the house profit with drinks and also have much more in private dances. But, today is Friday… you know he would never let her enter the private room since they took over a bid.

Your only mission was to get home before any crazy people could follow you out of the club - this had happened frequently in the last few months.

All that shine makes her black skin shine in front of the dressing room mirror, she shakes her hair, combing it with her fingertips to unwind the curls that were forming again as a result of not holding the brush for too long. Those wild waves make everything more attractive when it was about you.

She gets up from her chair and says goodbye to some friends. She goes towards the changing room with three showers available to clean all that shine from her skin, getting rid of the small silver sticker on her nipples and the panties with the silicone sides taken off. He ties his hair in a high bun so it doesn't get wet, and turns on the shower.

A sudden relief when she felt the water wet her sweaty body and all the glitter dripped off as she cleaned herself. The smell of the foam from your liquid soap exudes in the bathroom, just as the bath oil perfumed your skin afterwards, you wouldn't touch your makeup now, you would leave it to take off at home where you would feel more comfortable.

The bath is over and now your only mission is to leave.

She wears a dress similar to the one she was on stage, the difference is that this one at least covered her butt completely and the halter top makes her more comfortable. She lets her hair down before taking her suitcase from the closet, all the bills were thrown into a black plastic bag and she would take it away anyway, without even counting a note.

She would receive her pay for the show the next day, too tired to drag herself to the register or past customers.

He didn't want him to do that, to attract attention from others off stage. He should just do his job and leave because you are exclusively his.

You take a deep breath as you put your bag aside and leave through the back of the club, the sound is not audible on that side and the parked cars appear to be on the other side.

the way is not to your car, much less would you go home alone that night. The route is straight through the staircase at the back of the nightclub that led to a small gate facing left, you know the access password and then enter without making any fuss.

He closes the gate and soon feels his shoes sink into the green lawn until he reaches the concrete floor that leads to the entrance of the house, a beautiful house hidden by walls more than two meters high and an electric fence. The interior light is on, the yellow color shows that the room is occupied and you think about retreating…

If he was with one of his friends or work occupied him once again. The camera at the entrance demonstrates how dangerous it could be, not only because of the image of you entering that place, but also of your security guards outside.

Strategically, there were three more men in that garden and you know, they all already suspected what he was going to do there.

Danger excites her in an uncontrolled way, she feels butterflies in her stomach every time she sees a gun in front of her. When you enter the main door and have your bag of money in your hands.

That was nothing compared to what was on the coffee table, four guns like an ornament amidst tablets wrapped in black plastic. You don't need to be intelligent to know what he was about, you know what he is… and that's exactly why you felt so attracted to him.

The smell… that delicious smell that makes her smile. He goes up the stairs to the first floor confidently until he arrives in the main room where there is a huge white sofa, where the man is sitting with his shirt open and his hands working on carefully rolling up the silk.

His glock on the table catches the eye, silver with some gold details, underneath it is his initial and that's so… sexy.

He rolls the silk between his fingers and uses the tip of his tongue to seal the joint. Tired of holding that bag and purse aside, she throws it on the floor.

— You didn't stay until the end of the show. -she says disappointed. Lee SooHyuk looks up with heavy eyes, the black cap covers him a little and it bothers you. The man places his palm in front of the joint and lights it the first time his finger rolls over the lighter. The first drag is strong, he bites in, letting the smoke penetrate his lungs for a few seconds and then slowly releases it.

Your goddess is there, wearing a blue mini dress and a nice pair of heels. Cheryl… that was the name of the slut who had taken all that strength from him, the woman who made him kneel at her feet and kiss them as if he were devoted to her.

-Come here. -she says, releasing the smoke on the second drag. She walks as if she is about to swallow the man, a sensual walk that goes unnoticed every time she appears at her house… or rather, their house.

Standing in front of the man, she raised her leg to the height of the sofa, sinking her heel into the upholstery. Lee puts his right hand that held the cigarette between his fingers and slides it gently, brushing its softness. He touches his lips and the tip of his nose, rubbing it against the inside of his thigh.

She takes the joint between her fingers and inhales slowly, lets the smoke enter her lungs and relaxes her shoulders, bends her right knee on top of the upholstery, sitting down facing the man and sitting on his lap. Lee SooHyuk's big hands go directly to her ass, flattening them, squeezing the soft flesh and you let go slowly with a chuckle on your face. — How much did you make tonight? -he asks, you put the cigarette back in his mouth but don't let him hold it. After all, Lee's hands roam his ass with devotion.

— I didn't tell you.

— You never have to worry about that. -laughs breathlessly. Its smell is so good that it is more numbing than the herb I was smoking, that good smell of musk mixed with vanilla… which when added to marijuana would be so delicious. He loved it when Lee SooHyuk was tall, with his eyes almost closing and his smile slow, because he knew that was how that man would destroy his life if he could.

He takes his right hand off his ass and takes the cigarette back to inhale and the moment he takes off his black cap, the big strands fall onto his face. His hands tangle in Lee's thick hair, pushing the strands back and he soon gets a whiff of smoke in his face. The man takes his other hand off your ass, holds your jaw while he inhales the cigarette once more and releases the smoke into your mouth, you inhale taking it into your lungs. You feel the lightness in your body every second that Lee SooHyuk stares at you as if he could eat you.

You move slowly to position yourself better, and without waiting you receive a sharp slap on the left side of your ass, making you jump a little. She locks her fingers around the back of Lee's head, the naughty laugh completely takes you off her feet, and that mix of sensations that makes her go crazy almost instantly. He puts the tip of the joint for you to inhale and this time it's you who blows the smoke in your face. His hearty laugh amuses you, as does he slowly moves his thighs on top of your lap where you feel his dick growing.

— I think I should go back to doing private dances. -babbling. I get up from Lee SooHyuk's lap and he shakes his head no. — The money is good, and I should take advantage of the fact that I'm becoming famous…

— Oh, of course! There are a hundred rappers wanting you to appear in a video. -he ironizes, the man leans his back against the backrest and slides a little further down the sofa. —What more could you want right now, Cheryl?

-At the time? -an innocent question, she opens the bag of money, leaving it next to Lee's revolver. —I only think about one thing.

— What would it be, my dear? -you shudder when he calls you that, a shiver rises on your neck causing a small spasm. She turns the bag upside down, letting the bills fall all at once onto the coffee table.

-Money. -she whispers. She leans forward, resting one knee on the small wooden table to pick up Lee's gun. — And one of those.

— Do you want a gun?

— Uh-huh. -he says slyly, placing her back on the table. Her position is suggestive of her and almost an invitation to the man, who appreciates the fabric of the dress rising up against her skin and showing her tiny panties being swallowed by her ass. Lee feels his dick throbbing inside his underwear, he squeezes it tightly over his pants. The excitement increases every time she was by her side, no matter the time or place, and that was exactly why she couldn't watch the show until the end.

The tiny panties are almost reaching his pussy lips, they are too small and he can have the perfect view of his favorite place in the whole world.

— Why do you want a gun? -he asks mesmerized, the woman turns around, lifting her torso and facing Lee.

Power.

— More than you already have? -she notices that he passes his hand over his pants, the lump in the fabric excites you. —What do you want to do with that much power, my dear?

— Tame you. -he answers wisely.

— Tame me? -laughs breathlessly. The joint was gone and now he just stares at you like you're his only focus now. - Why do you want that?

-I don't know. -she responds. — I just want to.

— And for that you need to go back to doing private dances? -you shake your head positively at him, stretch your lips in a half smile and then bite the lower one. — Then dance for me. -the intensity in his voice makes her vibrate. — You've shaken your ass long enough for other men, now you're going to shake it just for me.

-I go? - asks innocently. Look for the sound control in your field of vision, it was turned on softly and then you switch to exactly the song you wanted to hear, turning it up a little. — What makes you believe he would do that?

— First: you are mine. -he says, with his arms open, resting on the back of the sofa. — Second: You have no choice. -he sighs and looks at me. — Third: I want you to do this for me, now.

Sativa starts playing next. The heaviness in my body seems to disappear when Lee SooHyuk wets his lips and rests the back of his head on the sofa, swaying his body slowly to the rhythm of the music when the man finds himself completely numb to you.

She runs her hands sensually over her body, going down to the middle of her legs and goes around them, slowly going up, a few steps forward, standing between her legs, goes down between them, placing her hands on her knees and then slowly turns around, pretending that she is going to sit on his lap, but he just rubs slowly and the man takes a deep breath. Try to touch your hair and you immediately get up, moving away, lifting your butt up and lowering your torso completely, touching your ankles, you see Lee when she gets up, throwing her hair and slowly lifting her dress.

He moves to the rhythm that makes his ass jiggle so deliciously that the man takes his right hand to his dick, he squeezes it hard trying to control the desire he feels for the woman in front of him. It's impossible!

As she passes her right hand through her hair, moving it to the side and lowering it between the neckline of the dress, holding her own breasts. He goes down again, getting on all fours, and when Lee SooHyuk weighs his breathing, he bites his lower lip.

Stop. -order. You don't let him command now, you first pull the box between your thighs and take it out slowly, rolling it, throwing the piece towards him and smiling. He sits on the edge of the table and opens his legs, laying the rest of his torso behind him.

Next to him the gun and the bills slide to the floor, then he raises his legs high and slowly opens them after turning. The man mumbles something, he is going crazy.

Stop now. -you're completely naked, high, too excited not to continue teasing him. It's different when you have Lee SooHyuk, because he knows exactly what to do, he knows you're going to be fucked so hot that your only weapon against him was to tease him until he had his hands around your throat, choking you until enjoy.

Lee got up from the sofa and walked to where she was sitting, the height of that man is intimidating, he was huge in every aspect, from his hands, his height, his strong and defined torso, his nose and his… stick.

The man reaches the back of her neck with just one hand, grabbing it firmly under her hair and in that pull his fingers gently caress her. The brutality bends down to his face and steals a small kiss, presses his lips together and between his lips he sucks his bottom, gently passing his tongue and then enters his mouth. You surrender to the kiss, but you can't take the reins, he holds your head, letting it stay like that, positioned just for your pleasure.

Lee SooHyuk climbs up the torso and still holding the back of his head does something with the other warm hand that leaves him euphoric. You moisten your own lips when you see his cock being pulled out of his pants, you raise your eyes to his and feel that delicious twinge inside you, a flame that excites you and makes your pussy wet. His dick is big, I liked the slight upward tilt that let it touch her most sensitive point inside her pussy, the bulging veins and that slightly pink wet glans, everything that reminds me of this man is extremely delicious.

He held the cock slowly and rubbed the glans against his parted lips and slowly tapped it against his cheek.

Go. -he speaks. — Put it in your mouth. -immediate order. You let out a naughty little laugh at him, you open your mouth, putting your tongue out and Lee rubs his head against it, wet and then slides it in, forcing it all the way in, this chokes you and you hold your breath to get it in completely. in the mouth.

He takes his hands to Lee's hips and presses the tips of his nails, going down the exposed skin and reaching the man's ass. He takes his cock into her mouth and lets her suck it as she liked, the guttural moan when her mouth is around him, so soft, wet and warm.

Slide back and forth while feeling the entire length of your cock. With the help of one hand, he masturbates at the same intensity as he uses his mouth to move up and down, he removes his hand, sliding it down to his balls and caresses it slowly. She increases the rhythm of her mouth, feeling her excitement reach its maximum, her hard breasts and her luscious pussy, dripping to feel that cock inside her.

Lee SooHyuk takes his dick out of his mouth, and the hand from the back of his head went to his jaw with that thread of saliva that connected it to his dick. She looked so hot, her lipstick was smudged, her eyes were watering and her face was ready to be fucked.

The man gathers saliva in his mouth and slides it between his lips, spitting in his mouth, in the most degrading moment of that sex.

Then, he takes off his clothes, leaving him completely naked. He knelt between her legs and rested his hands on his knees, where he made the most ordinary gesture he could make. He puts his hand under her right thigh and pulls it towards him, placing her legs between his face. Before sucking her pussy, Lee moved up to her breasts, and even though her right leg was being lifted over his arm, it doesn't make a difference to him. Because he wants to fuck you, destroy you completely.

The lips gently rub on the hard nipples, passing the tongue slowly on the right one and then moving on to the left one, where he wraps it completely, sucking harder to the point of making you arch your back on the wooden table, pressing the strands of your hair with forces against her breast, feeling her clitoris pulsate, begging to be touched. You try to take your hand there, but you are stopped by the hand that was holding your right breast. It squeezes so tightly that you moan loudly, much louder than the sound itself.

He changed breasts and it drives you completely crazy, you take your hands to the edge of the table, supporting yourself there, trying to control everything that was about to happen. The sound of the gun falling to the floor makes Lee raise his head and see me scared, ironic laughter appears on his lips that return to sucking my breasts.

He descends slowly in a trail of kisses that cause me a frenzy, the sensation that sensitizes my skin every time he kisses, reaching the pubic mound where he rubs the tip of my nose and descends a little further touching the critical point with his rigid tongue, the pressure he exerted when covering it there, and then he moved slowly as if he were pushing him and that leaves me ecstatic for a few seconds, my legs tremble on top of the man's broad shoulders.

A feeling building inside his chest, the flame burns and the more he uses his mouth on your pussy, the more you want him.

She sucks deliciously well, uses the tip of her lips to suck with the same cautious pressure that makes her vibrate, arch her back and curse the man for so much torture. You want him so much, to the point of begging to be fucked.

He doesn't let go of you until he feels necessary, he doesn't stop until he fills your mouth with your liquid. You're sweaty with the bills sticking to your back, panting when the man simply pulls your body to the floor.

You are so sweet. -he whispers between your lips, the smell was on him, his taste, everything that reminded him of you. I feel his right hand surround my throat, squeeze it between his fingers, pressing firmly. Your breath stops the second you position yourself between your legs and force it into my entrance, so wet that your cock enters easily.

You delight in that small movement that causes a new sensation, the one that makes you moan his name loud and clear.

— Lee… -escapes from his throat, begging him to fuck you hard. And so he does, the firm thrusts of the man's hips against you make you more and more excited, they are thrust hard, hitting your groin feeling the firm impact in which your bodies move against each other. The tightness in your throat increases, and he lifts his torso holding your legs at shoulder height, his dick reaches the bottom, you feel it touch the inner wall that makes you feel a small pain in your uterus… he is completely devastating you.

Her face red, eyes watering with lust, ready to be hit with a slap in the face. And this excites you much more than touching your own clitoris, another slap is given and this time your face burns.

Lee SooHyuk comes out of you and it distresses you as if you were committing an act of madness, in fact he just gets up and pulls you up, resting his knees on the upholstery of the sofa and his hands on the backrest, partially on all fours.

The first slap is given firmly to the side of the ass, the side burns and pulses with pain that mixes with pleasure. A kiss is given as he holds my throat to slowly turn his face, bending over you.

Your index finger goes to your open mouth, and you hold it between your teeth. Rolling his ass slowly when his dick enters again, he moans deliciously.

With her finger stuck between her teeth, the other hand squeezes her hair, pulling it back, making her let go. The impact of Lee's hips against your ass is so strong that you can feel his balls, he devastates you, fucking you with delicious precision, so strong and hard… you roll your eyes, squeezing the upholstery between your fingers, panting and sweating as the man looks like he wasn't even close to cumming.

High to the point of feeling everything doubled, it was much more sensitive, his touch, the kiss, that fucking. He felt everything with greater intensity until the moment when Lee bites his shoulder in the most brutal act, squeezing the side of his ass, supporting himself to continue fucking.

You shake your ass slowly, grinding against the man, pushing your hips against him and feeling him more and more. The orgasm leaves her in agony, the sensation that she was falling in free fall, her body tenses and two seconds later the sensation increases, raising the level. You cum and as soon as you feel the viscous liquid mixing with yours, the man slowly comes out and you lie down on the couch, looking at Lee SooHyuk completely destroyed.

His hair sticks to his sweaty forehead, he puts his hand behind it. Panting to the point of lying down on the upholstery next to you, he rests his head on your shoulder, slowly rubbing his face against the curve of your neck.

Lee pulls her into a soft kiss, their tongues touching in delicious pressure, moving in perfect tune. The fit, the soft lips, the moan between kisses when your lower lip is bitten.

That man had all of you, and he knew exactly how he liked to be fucked… how to make you cum.

He loves to satisfy you.

And you… knew exactly how to tame that man.

[ask-serendipity-sky]

https://www.taipeitimes.com/News/feat/archives/2012/05/19/2003533178

This is an article from 2012 where they talk about the relationship between gays and Disneyland. I accidentally came across this article and thought a lot about jikook. I don't know whether they were aware of these back then but whatever it is it was a bold movement from jeon kid to do this. And the mickey mouse hat jimin wore . Everything that they made in 2017 have meanings and they meant it too. Only the brainless trashcookers can't see it or admit it. I've seen ex-trashcooker saying that they haven't seen gcf tokyo yet. WHY? They ofcourse know it is GCF jimin ft tokyo whereas their fav has not got any as such but they're still arguing that it was actually planned with their fav and change due to some reason as if trashcookers were the ones who charted their schedules haha.

I sometimes wonder what might have happened in Tokyo but we will never know. These days things are getting complicated both for jimin and jungkook. I wonder what might be their motive to choose Disneyland as their destination place for their first trip. I'm still screaming at the thought they stayed at the hotel where the bedroom and bathroom were separated only by a transparent window. Jimin could see jungkook shower for 50 minutes through the transparent window? Wow I'm kidding but not really. The age they visited Tokyo alone is such a crucial one here. Both might be at the peak of curiosity and they are jikook lol I'll shut up now.

Now coming into jimin who is not so into amusement park rides according to him ( who would waste money on things like this + too scared lol me too yes i'm jimin's girl ) decided to get on that coffee mug ride? Are you serious!? YES! And that's how we got the most beautiful jimin smile through jungkook's eye. What we see in golden closet film Tokyo is jimin through jungkook's eye.

At the very 1st thought jungkook is the same age as jimin's brother and jimin's is the same age of jungkook's brother but nah ! I have eyes ofcourse. I didnt get any brotherly vibes. Of course they care about eo. The way jimin caresses junkookie's head or pat his head like an elder brother. But I don't wanna bring that ear sucking moment here. We had enough and that's louder than anything. I'd like to nominate the tummy caressing part by jk.mp4 lol. Jimin didn't even flinched like he is so used to those hands. They hiding at the corner at a big party ( jitb we spotted the couples ), staring at the lips while talking, jimin gesturing to keep shut when they were asked about the comfort thing that they depend on wow that was sus , and pulling him close behind yoongi?

Whatever I'm ending my rants here. I just wanted some place to rant that JIKOOK IS REAL AND MORE THAN FRIENDS OR WHATEVER. THEIR BOND IS UNBREAKABLE.

And they have done things and hinted as many things. Only blinds can't see it. That's their issue not ours. And to those who haven't seen gcf tokyo youre missing a masterplan video for how to impress your crush that's it.

thankyou 💜💛

Hi anon,

Your ask is beautiful. I love it.

It makes me wonder of all the times that jikook referenced their trip after they came back. They were smitten by each other!

Shy and sweet and even when talking about it, they would ignore the rest of the world around them.

And now they are in Japan again. History likes to repeat itself. Will they have a glass shower again?

What happened in Disneyland?!

With or without Disneyland (will they go to Disneyland?), them deciding on a project together (omg. this is a subunit created by jikook) and making it so they would work, travel, have fun, and spend time and end in Japan is a bold move.

We will see what comes out of this and if they end up in Disneyland again, I fear we might not make it through.

But yeah, "jikook is more than friends or whatever"...lol

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[thetorturedpoetheadquarters]

New TTPD Lyrics (4/8) - Analysis & Theories

"Crowd goes wild at her fingertips. Half moonshine, full eclipse."

Lyrical Similarities:

"My only one, my smoking gun, my eclipsed sun, this has broken me down" - hoax

"But some guy said my aura's moonstone just 'cause he was high" - Bejeweled

"Blood moonlit, it must be counterfeit, I think there's been a glitch" - Glitch

"Half-moon eyes, bad surprise" - Question...?

Eclipse Importance:

These new lyrics were released on a day where there was a total solar eclipse and America was in the path of totality

reputation's snake videos (which resulted in the first promo for reputation and Look What You Made Me Do) was released on August 21, 2017 which also was a day where there was a total solar eclipse and America was in the path of totality

Taylor wrote You're Losing Me the day after a total solar eclipse (12/4/21). The eclipse's path of totality was unusual by moving east to west over parts of the Southern Ocean and West Antarctica

There was eclipse imagery in the Karma Remix music video

There was a solar eclipse on April 19, 1958 (TTPD release day & Timeless lyrics)

Grey's Anatomy, one of Taylor's favorite shows, has a well-known quote that involves the theme of an eclipse, "Don't let what he wants eclipse what you need. He's very dreamy, but he's not the sun. You are." (season 10, episode 24)

You're Losing Me could be considered the 24th track of Midnights if you add it to the Til Dawn Edition + Taylor has used words like dreams and daydream in a multitude of songs that are about Joe and has referred to him and his love as daylight

Track 11 Theory:

This theory is looking at easter eggs to guess that these lyrics are from Track 11 on THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT, I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can). This theory revolves around the imagery in Karma Remix music video.

One of the biggest motifs used in the Karma Remix music video is the golden string/invisible string. It connects Taylor and Ice Spice, who are both supposed to be representative of the Moon and Saturn respectively - giving homage to folklore's seven. invisible string is a song that is 100% about Joe and he was originally the karmic boyfriend. Since the eclipse scene in the music video was meant to be an easter egg for this new lyric, it could also mean that it's track 11 too due to both invisible string and Karma being track 11's on their albums.

Other Possibilities:

Many people theorize that this lyric is from the song Clara Bow because of the use of "her" in the lyric. Clara Bow was the it girl of her era, so she would have the capability to make a crowd go wild with just her fingertips. Plus, moonshine was frequently the alcohol of choice during prohibition in the 1920s, which was when Clara Bow was most active in her career.

Some also say that the lyric could be from Florida!!! due Taylor doing a specific action at The Eras Tour during the Lover set. She has a habit of pointing at the crowd in certain sections to make them go wild. So, the lyric could be reference to that and she had multiple shows in Florida. Plus, during The Eras Tour, Taylor stated that she gave up alcohol for the sake of her vocals and recovery from shows. Meaning, she put herself on a prohibition, forbidding herself from drinking any alcohol during this time.

[foxes-that-run]

Two Ghosts

In 5 - 7 minutes of Behind the Album there is footage of Harry working on the melody, lyrics and recording two ghosts in Jamaica in late 2016. He goes on to moving from 1D where his personal life was overexposed and wanting to write music that was successful without people knowing about his personal life. He has made a similar comment to Rolling Stone “I don’t know much about Van Morrison’s life, but I know how he felt about this girl, because he put it in a song. So I like working the same way.”

When was it written

On it's release in May 2017 Harry said it was written “almost 4 years ago now”. in Summer 2013, Midnight Memories had his first writing credits, Happily and Something Great, Style was not written then. While possible, Two Ghosts is more mature. I think he thought he “wrote too many songs about” her and changed the time.

By 2019 he'd moved on and he told Rolling Stone it was written for Made in the AM. (Summer, 2015.) That places it with Walking on the wind, if I could fly, Olivia and Perfect, which also refer to 1989. FTDT and Woman are the same period, but don’t have lyrics that ID them like two ghosts.

To me, Two Ghosts is about reflecting on a lost love. The premise os the song reflects the Style MV which has Harry and Taylor shot in a ghostly way. The Style MV was released Valentines Day 2015, the anniversary of them getting together in 2014.

It has only been played live once since 2018, on Valentines Day 2020, further indicated it may have been written on Valentines Day 2015. Harry choose it over Golden when promoting Fine Line on Radio 2's Valentines Show in 2020, (16 mins), the only time it's been played in 4 years now. Harry also played Joni Mitchell’s yellow taxi which Joni tweeted about the anniversary of.

1D was in Australia, HS was flat. Style was #6, named after him and with footage is intentionally reminiscent. Even more interesting that we never saw the Two Ghosts MV, though Taylor referenced it in Me!'s.

On holding it back to be Solo

From Rolling Stone: "Sometimes if you’re, like, telling a really personal story, then the voice changes every few lines; it doesn’t quite do the same thing. As the songs got more personal, I think I just became more aware that at some point there might be a moment where I would want to sing it myself.”

"A turning point was “Two Ghosts,” a ballad from his solo debut. “’Two Ghosts’ I wrote for the band, for Made in the A.M. But the story was just a bit too personal. As I started opening up to write my more personal stuff, I just became aware of a piece of me going, ‘I want to sing the whole thing.’ Now I look at a track list and these are all my little babies. So every time I’m playing a song, I can remember writing it, and exactly where we were and exactly what happened in my life when I wrote it."

Questions on who it’s about

Nick Grimshaw asked Harry (at 4:38) if it was about Taylor. Media trained, 5 year seasoned TS question dodger, Harry had an adorable reaction. He and Nick are friends, he’s being coy and laughing, answering “I think it’s pretty self explanatory” adding “I think it’s about, sometimes things change, and you can do all the same things, and sometimes it’s just different, you know? 2017, Philosopher, London, England.” Then he laughs and dances around.

Lyrics

Same lips red, same eyes blue Same white shirt, couple more tattoos But it's not you and it's not me Tastes so sweet, looks so real Sounds like something that I used to feel But I can't touch what I see

The song clearly references Style, the music video for which was filmed in November 2014 while they were together and released in February 2015 after they broke up while he was in Australia.

The video is meant to be something he used to feel, that looks real but he can’t touch. It shows Taylor and Harry-stand-in with projections, playing with light and it’s interspersed with home video footage. The footage is thought to be shot in part by Harry, or at least wearing outfits she was pictured with him in.

We're not who we used to be We're not who we used to be We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat

In the chorus moves from the reminder of the Video to the memory. Reflecting on looking at an idealised version of his relationship that’s now broken up and he’s grieving.

Taylor had referred to Harry as a ghost in How You Get The Girl “Stand there like a ghost shaking from the rain”

The fridge light washes this room white Moon dances over your good side And this was all we used to need Tongue-tied like we've never known Telling those stories we already told 'Cause we don't say what we really mean

In the second verse Harry reflects on their downfall, a lack of communication.

Taylor refers to herself as tongue-tied in Message in a bottle on Red “and I became hypnotised/ by freckles and bright eyes, tongue tied”

Harry later refers to being still tongue-tied in Sunflower Vol 6. Taylor also sang about not saying what the mean in Wish you Would: “You think I'm gonna hate you now / ‘Cause you still don't know what I never said”

We're just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat

This may refer to being emotionally depleted, as in Ever Since New York: "Brooklyn saw me, empty at the news / There's no water inside this swimming pool"

Or it could refer to being in an ever shrinking microscope, Taylor later used a Snowglobe and Fishbowl in the Lover Video to represent being on display together.