#God the last time I read this /I/ was a teenager myself so hearing it as an adult is making me feel a lot

[qkmlh]

Listening to the Hunger Games audiobook during my lunch and omigosh Katniss sweetheart you did not just decide to kiss Peeta’s bruised cheek because you think his adorkably lame compliment was a manipulation tactic

[elfwitchtrickster]

Literature Lovers - Loki Fluff Oneshot

Summary: Both Loki and the reader are huge fans of modern literature, they end up bonding over classic books, movies and even essays

(Mentions of Harry Potter and Shakespeare)

Y/N - Your name

H/L - hair length

H/C - hair colour

H/P/H - your Harry Potter house

"Hi Loki"

"Hey Loki"

"Whatcha reading?"

That was where this had all started. When Tony Stark's new intern had arrived the compound Loki paid no mind to her. As far as he was concerned she was just another annoying (change that word) Midgardian. But as time passed he found himself being more intrigued by the young girl. She had H/L, H/C hair that fell perfectly over her head and was always curious and interested in whatever activity Mr Stark was engaging in.

Unlike the rest of the team, except for that insistent spider boy, she greeted him whenever they ended up in the same room, despite his less than enthusiastic responses each time. Over time her greetings became longer, asking him how he was or frequently commenting on the book he was reading. He always had a book, no matter where he was. Loki had seen her from time to time in the library where she always sat in the same spot right in the corner, nestled in a cosy reading nook.

When he realised that like the spider boy, she was not going to give up, he went beyond tolerating her to actually answering her in detail when she asked for his thoughts about his latest book. And so began a series of exchanges each no longer than 20 minutes in length, yet after every one Loki longed for another.

"Hey Loki"

"Lady Y/N" he spoke smoothly. She plopped down next to him on the couch. He glanced at the clock against the wall and realised that her shift with Stark must be over. "How was serving the man of iron?" He asked casually, not that he cared about the answer. She smirked at the name but said truthfully "it was fine, just watched him work on his suits mostly" Loki nodded in response.

"How goes Romeo and Juliet" she asked, peeking at the book that lay in his lap. "It's very well written but I find myself being frustrated at the stupidity of the children" he said with a laboured sigh. This made Y/N laugh. "Yeah that's kind of the biggest criticism of it, everyone thinks it's this tragic, romantic story when really it's just about two reckless (change word) teenagers" she said. Loki hummed his agreement.

"You know if you like the way this is written I have another book you may like" she said. Loki's eyebrow quirked showing a sign of interest. "Oh really?" He questioned. "Yeah, let's go" she replied walking off without waiting for his answer. Loki hurried to follow her as she snaked through the compounds many corridors.

At last she reached her destination, entering the wide double doors that was the library. She ran past many shelves before stopping at one, she combed the lines of books carefully from floor to ceiling before turning to the next aisle, eventually two aisles later she called out to Loki. "Here" she exclaimed dragging over a chair and then climbing upon it to reach a book on a higher shelf. "I could've gotten it for you" he said watching the mortal strain herself on her tippy toes. "Yes but why inconvenience a god" she said with a small smirk. Loki was taken aback but revelled in her boldness. It had been ages since someone other than Thor had jested with him and believe me, Thor is not an expert in jesting.

"Well what is this tale" he said taking the book in his hands. It was heavy and a little worn, the dark cover had crinkles along the spine and a couple bent pages. "The lord of the rings" she said and Loki looked up at her quizzically. "A king with rings?" He asked dumbfounded. "You could find that anywhere couldn't you" he said but Y/N didn't hear over her laughter. "No" she giggled. "It's about this magical ring and a group of people who have to destroy it before it curses the land" she said. "I see" he said turning it over hesitantly. "I know it doesn't sound like much but I think you'll really like it, it's got complex writing like Shakespeare but it's a little more modern" she added. The god of mischief still looked unsure.

"Just try it" she said pressing the book into his chest. Then she turned on her heel and walked out of the library leaving Loki with his new reading material. After a moment of pondering he shrugged and settled himself into an armchair at the back of the library.

The next time Loki saw Y/N he was eager to tell her about the book, even calling out to her first, before she could greet him. "Miss Y/N" he called and Y/N turned to see him gesturing over excitedly. "Hey Loki" she said, surprised by his sudden and newfound enthusiasm. "You know you can just call me Y/N right" she said with a small smile. "I can but my mother taught me to be a gentleman" he said nonchalantly. "Your recommendation was excellent, Mr Tolkien's work is certainly admirable" he said looking down at the book in awe.

"I thought you'd like it" she said with a chuckle. "I loved reading it for the first time, except for the endless pages describing trees" she said and Loki did something she never expected, he laughed. And not a sly sneer or a jeering snicker but a genuine laugh. "Yes he does drone on at times" he said smiling at her. "Well I've got to go, Mr Stark needs me back in the lab soon but we can chat more tonight yeah?" She said, once again hurrying off before he could answer. "Yeah" he said quietly and settled back into the couch with a soft sigh.

Loki and Y/N chatted over many books, Y/N was eager to know what Loki's first impressions of each book and character was and Loki was just as eager to talk about it. He had never had a friend to engage with about literature, let alone someone who was as passionate as Y/N was about it.

This evenings conversation revolved around their favourite books, Loki was currently telling Y/N about his favourite tale in the Asgardian library.

"It's wonderful really, it's highly engaging and it's impeccably written, I stayed up all night to read it when I was younger" he said with a nostalgic smile. By now Y/N had grown used to his smile, enjoying (change word) the way his lips turned up at the end and his eyes softened. What she hadn't yet noticed was that his eyes only softened for her.

"There were many other tales I enjoyed as a child. Looking back at them, they weren't critically the best but there is something lovely about childhood stories" he said and Y/N agreed thoughtfully. "Say, what is your favourite book Lady Y/N" Loki asked curiously. "Oh it's not that good" she laughed "just an enjoyable one from my childhood" she said with a fond smile. "If you don't mind I'd like to hear about it" he said leaning in slightly.

Y/N had also grown used to his kind words and couldn't fathom how the gentle creature in front of her had been the same one who terrorised New York all those years ago. Whenever she was with him Loki was polite and kind, if not a bit cheeky.

So Y/N began her long spiel about her favourite book, telling Loki about the plot and her favourite characters but being careful not to spoil anything. The whole time Loki listened intently, focusing on her every word with interest. "I must say, Lady Y/N, I am intrigued, it must be a rather good book if it is favoured by someone such as yourself" he said. "Oh" she said letting out a breath, Loki's subtle compliments always seemed to flatter her to the point of flustering. "I mean it is really good but it's a children's book" she said.

"I'd like to read it" Loki said with a determined smile. "You don't have to" she answered quickly. "No, you have been kind enough to recommend me books and give me someone to talk to about them. I would like to see what you love, even if it is meant for children" he said with a sincere smile. "Okay I'll see if there's a copy in the library after work" she said with a wide grin. "I look forward to it" Loki said. "But until then, I take my leave" he said standing up and brushing off his cape swiftly. "Lady Y/N" he said, placing a small kiss on her hand. It left the girl all fuzzy and warm as she traced over the place his lips had touched. As she too left the room, she tried to hide her rosy pink cheeks.

A few nights later Loki came striding up to where she sat by the kitchen island, clutching a steaming mug of hot chocolate. "Lady Y/N, Harry Potter is positively incredible" he said setting the book down on the countertop. Only it wasn't the first book as Y/N had expected but the second in the Harry Potter series.

"You're already on the second book?" She exclaimed in surprise. I couldn't sleep last night so I decided to read Philosopher's Stone and I finished it by morning" he said with a triumphant smile. "And you liked it?" "I did, oh it was wonderful! The words are simple yet her world is extraordinary, the story was quite addictive" he said paging through the second book. Y/N's eyes shone with happiness which did not go unnoticed by the god. "So this morning I went to the library to get the second"He said showing her the book and she clapped her hands excitedly. "Ahhh! Chamber of secrets is my favourite one" she said excitedly "how far have you read?" Loki talked about it in detail and Y/N grew happier with each word. "Oh my god but wait what did you think about the first one?"

And so began their longest conversation yet, extending late into the night when the other Avengers started complaining about the noise throughout dinner. "We'll talk about it more tomorrow" she said, finally tossing her mug in the sink. "Oh but I'm so glad you liked it" she said and on impulse she rounded the corner of the kitchen island and threw her arms around Loki, engulfing him in a hug. The god of mischief was so shocked he didn't move for a moment, but quickly recovered and placed his hands around her tentatively. She let go and said goodnight to the other avengers before hurrying up the staircase to her room.

At the dining table the superheroes were whispering to each other. "Did she just hug Loki?" "And he hugged back!" "He didn't try to stab her or anything"

They all looked at him astounded, but Loki was too busy, buried in his book, or so it seemed. Really the god of mischief was hiding a smile as he replayed their moment in his head.

The next day at lunch Y/N walked up to Loki. "Hi Loki" she said and was greeted as usual. "Guess what, I had an amazing idea" she said, she was almost about to burst with excitement. "Oh yes?" He asked feigning coolness, he had grown to love her excited displays and the way he longed her to tell him what had made her so joyful. "Now that you've read the first Harry Potter book you can watch the movie, and I was wondering if you wanted to watch it with me!" She said happily, trying to hide her nervousness.

While she had been friendly with the god before, never had she been so bold in assuming they were close enough friends to watch a movie and part of her was scared Loki would scoff in disbelief. "I'd love to" he said, failing to hide the smile that had appeared on his face. "Yayyy" she cried practically jumping up and down in her excitement. Loki pretended to be annoyed "Yes I shall tolerate some odd Midgardian entertainment for one night" he said with his signature smirk. "I'll see you tonight then" she said. Loki smiled contentedly, watching her skip off to wherever Stark was.

That night Loki heard a quiet knock at his door. "Come in" he said smoothing out his hair in the mirror across from his bed. Y/N entered in her pyjamas holding drinks and a bucket of popcorn. "Hiiii" she said carefully setting the food down on his bedside table. Now that she was nearer Loki noticed a pattern on her pyjama pants. "Great Asgard, are you wearing Harry Potter pyjamas" he asked incredulously. Y/N answered sheepishly "What, I thought I'd stay in theme" she said showing off her H/P/H pants. "Hmm" Loki said before waving his hand. A shower of green covered his body before fading away leaving the god with an elegant Slytherin ensemble.

She chuckled before settling in beside Loki. The evening was spent laughing and gasping at every plot twist even though both knew what was coming. Loki enjoyed secretly watching her reactions at pivotal points of the movie. Once the end credits had played Loki and Y/N burst into discussion covering everything from his favourite scene to Draco Malfoy's hairstyle choices. Y/N talked until her mouth hurt and smiled until her cheeks hurt, Loki could not remember the last time he was this happy.

The pair talked and talked, each to focused on each other to notice the numbers on the clock rapidly ticking by, until suddenly it was 4 am and neither had gotten a wink of sleep. "I'll see you tomorrow Loki" she said climbing out of his bed. "Wait" he called out to her. It took him a moment to say his next words. "I truly enjoyed this night with you, I don't remember the last time I was this happy" he said swallowing nervously. "Me too" she said and he let out a sigh of relief. "Goodnight Loki" she whispered. "Goodnight Lady Y/N" he said as she crept out of his room.

The next morning Y/N yawned widely as she swirled her cup of coffee. "Whoa you look terrible" Tony said as he walked behind her turning on the coffee machine. "Gee thanks" she said sarcastically. "Did you get any sleep last night?" He asked leaning against the countertop. "No I was up until four with Loki" she said rubbing her tired eyes. "Oh okay don't need to know about your intimate activities with reindeer games I just wa-" "what no, n0" Y/N cut him off when she realised what her words sounded like. "We were just talking about Harry Potter" she explained. "Yeah you don't need to make excuses" Stark said walking off, leaving Y/N to think about last nights activities with a smile.

[stayevildarling]

Hey! I am really enjoying reading all of the works you have been posting lately, you are such a great writer! I actually had a request if you happen to have the time? Maybe a fic with Delia, Mina, Billie, and reader where Delia uses magic on reader and accidentally hurts her in the process. Then maybe some angst between Mina and Delia because Mina is very overprotective and Billie tries to deescalate their argument? But also happy ending? 

Cordelia Goode x Wilhemina Venable x Billie Dean Howard x Reader- As the gods will

A/N: I completely forgot this in my drafts 😅 it's a bit of a short one but I didn't want to drag it on

word count: 3.3k

tw: mention of smoking, mention of blood (mild), angst, arguing, fluff at the end

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker, @billiebeanhoward, @lanawinters-ily, @kenzbro, @minaslittleone, @httpfiftyshadesofgay, @whitelotus00, @ninaahs, @vintagepaulson, @isle-of-earle, @paulsonsratched, @stepintomyworld, @grilledcheeseandguavajelly, @lucyintheskywithxanax, @fanfics4world, @mymiraclewitch, @hazard-to-myself, @awritersometime, @ohrwurm26, @wastdstime

As Billie Dean returns home, she feels a buzz of excitement rush through her, finally at home after a long week of working, filming the last bits, mostly promotion for the upcoming season of her show. With the upcoming weekend, she had decided to treat her girlfriends to a little something, opting for a quick shopping spree after work, managing to pick just the right things for the three of you. And as the front door closes, she notices how oddly quiet it was, of course it being Friday meant most of the witches had left but she is surprised to find neither of you downstairs as she brushes past the kitchen and the living room.

,,What the hell have you done?'' Wilhemina's voice rings through the air, so loud that the medium could hear it from downstairs. Abandoning the shopping bags and kicking off her heels, she is quick to run up the stairs, with a sense of urgency, before finding a very unusually quiet and guilty Madison in front of Cordelia's office. ,,What is it?'' Billie asks nervously but quickly leaving the blonde behind, figuring she wasn't going to get any answers out of her.

What Billie Dean had missed was a very busy and uncomfortable Friday, some of the younger teenage witches testing Cordelia in a lot of ways, especially Madison on her nerves all day, teasing her and pushing her buttons. She had been that stressed and tense with her workload that she had even asked you to keep her company. Cordelia enjoyed nothing more than have you close but whenever things got a little hard and stressful she retreated to her office, dealing with it in silence, before calming herself down enough to join you three again and spend time with you. However, today she didn't feel like being alone and so she had asked if you minded sitting in her office as it was your day off and of course you didn't mind, happy to keep her company.

And despite there not being a whole lot you could do, other than regularly make her some tea, offer to make her some lunch a while ago or occasionally walking over and giving her shoulders some relief, as your hands gently massaged her, ridding her off the tension slowly. Nevertheless, your girlfriend appreciated it, appreciating to have her little sunshine close as you gave her the motivation to finish the few tasks she had left on her agenda for the day. A while ago you had made Cordelia and Wilhemina some lunch, taking it to Mina's office as she thanked you with a sweet gentle kiss, telling you she was almost finished for the day, before returning to the supreme's office, where she took a break with you, offering you to sit on her lap as she fed some of the lunch to you, her eyes sparkling with love and adoration, the tension almost gone.

When the door opened without knocking a while later, watching Madison enter so carelessly, you knew this would escalate things further. Cordelia and Madison had an odd connection, the younger witch often pushing the supremes buttons, but despite it all you could tell that your girlfriend cared about her wellbeing deeply and you also noticed how in times of trouble for the coven, Madison always stuck to Cordelia and the academy, despite only being loyal to herself usually. You swallowed hard, seeing how she walked inside with a cigarette hanging from her mouth, knowing Cordelia strictly forbid smoking inside after Fiona. And it surprised you when Cordelia didn't even look up from her laptop, simply continuing to type away and roll her eyes, quite aware who was interrupting the peace and quiet.

,,Alright I'm off to that party, so the four of you can have this place all to yourselves'' she muttered, almost nosily inspecting the supremes office, barely acknowledging your existence. ,,Give me a break Madison'' was all that Cordelia had said before waving her hand a little with the pure intention of making Madison shut up and leave her office. However, Madison knew better and so she quickly dodged the magic, and as the invisible force looked for the next life-form in the room, her magic had made you flying to the nearest wall behind you, causing for a loud thud to follow. And the thud was so loud that even Wilhemina had heard it, considering that same wall was connected to her office. And with furrowed eyebrows, she decided to investigate, wondering what the supreme and you were getting up to in there, her heels echoing through the academy ever so quietly.

And when she caught a glimpse of Madison, lingering by the door, a guilty expression on her face, she entered, watching as Cordelia typed away on her computer, thinking that all was well for a moment before noticing your frame on the floor and her eyebrows furrowed then before her voice rings through the air ,,What the hell have you done?''. Cordelia finally looks up, seeing Madison lingering by the doorway behind the redhead before her eyes travel to you in shock. She is quick on her feet, abandoning her work and kneeling beside you. ,,Oh my god'' Cordelia exclaims before taking your head into her hands as some blood pours from the back of your head, assuming that must have been from the impact. In panic and shock she meets Wilhemina's eyes, begging for her help and forgiveness at the same time.

,,Little one?'' Wilhemina tries gently but the pain is so severe that your eyes remain closed, despite aware of your surroundings and what had happened. With hands as quick as light, she hovers them over your head as you laid on the floor with your stomach, only your backside faced to them. And as Billie finally enters, watching the scene unfold in front of her, Cordelia already has the wound healed as the blood and any evidence of it completely vanishes. And finally you manage to open your eyes, composing yourself and trying to get up, still feeling a little shaky on the legs. However as you do, you notice a strange sensation, the inability to speak and looking at your girlfriends, you see the shock in their features. Cordelia's intention wasn't only to send Madison across the room but also to be quiet and so she had casted a spell which would assure just that.

However, as the magic travelled to you, Wilhemina and Billie watch in shock as their most precious thing is missing a very important feature, your mouth. ,,Cordelia what on earth?!'' Wilhemina's voice rings through the air again as crippling panic sets in on the supremes features as she begins pacing around the room after failing to rid you from the spell, her nerves playing up and causing her magic to get a little sloppy. Despite being the most powerful witch and supreme, this could happen, despite being rare. The blonde loved you three so much that the thought of seeing either of you hurt almost killed her, let alone when she was the reason for just that, despite that not in the slightest being her intention.

Unaware of what exactly is happening, panic equally kicks in as your eyes widen, pathetic sounds getting blocked in your throat as they had no way to leave you. As Billie walks closer, noticing your beginning panic, she tries to hold onto your hands, noticing how warm they are as your chest rises and falls quickly as you begin hyperventilating. ,,Cordelia fix this now'' Wilhemina demands, her voice raised, her overprotectiveness setting in as she couldn't stand to see you hurting. ,,I can't.. I've tried'' the supreme huffs as she continues pacing, trying to calm herself down in order to make this go away. Billie noticing the tension, leaves you for a moment, before walking over to Cordelia, placing her soft manicured hands on the supremes cheeks. ,,Calm down love'' she tries, ushering the supreme to follow her breathing. ,,That's it'' she praises before her eyes begin pleading with her.

,,What is this spell called darling?'' the medium tries gently, before Cordelia closes her eyes, slowly feeling calmer. ,,Perpetuum clausis'' she breathes out, still trying to focus to keep calm, not once looking at you as she couldn't stand the sight. ,,Okay honey, you can reverse it?'' Billie questions, very much hoping she could fix it considering she loved the things your pretty little mouth could do. ,,Yes'' Cordelia nods, closing her eyes before flicking her wrist. A painful mixture of an exhale, inhale and scream follows as it all returns to normal. Wilhemina moves even closer to you, taking your shaking hand into her own, her heart beating angrily against her chest. ,,Are you okay little one?'' she asks, ignoring the presence of the other two. Her main concern your wellbeing and safety right now. And all you can do is nod as your throat feels like it is on fire, your head still pounding in pain, still feeling as if you couldn't use your mouth for anything but breathing.

,,Sweetheart, I'm so so sorry'' Cordelia tries, finally walking over to you and trying to pull you into her arms. But she is stopped by Wilhemina who protectively hovers, placing herself in front of you and physically stopping the supreme. ,,Don't'' she hisses, her eyes and words filled with venom as Billie anxiously watches the scene unfold. ,,Don't touch her'' she carries on and you can't do or say anything as your body feels on fire. ,,Come on'' Wilhemina ushers, taking your hand and leading you out of the room, leaving behind a heartbroken and guilty Cordelia.

It doesn't take long before the tears stream from her beautiful features, Billie frowning seeing her girlfriend like this. ,,Sit down honey'' the medium tries, taking a seat on the sofa next to Cordelia and taking the supremes hands into her own. ,,What happened?'' the blonde asks confused, still not fully understanding what had happened and hoping the supreme would fill her in so she could fix this and help. It takes a while for Cordelia to find her composure again, but seeing Billie so compassionate, she eventually calms down. ,,I had no intention of hurting her'' she begins wanting to make sure that much is clear. ,,I know darling'' Billie coos as she tilts her head a little. ,,It was Madison..'' Cordelia sighs, remembering how the witch had tested her most of the day. ,,I wasn't even trying to use my magic on Madison, I just wanted her to shut up and leave us alone'' she explains trying to recall the events.

,,I guess when I tried to dismiss her with my hand it must have triggered my magic'' she carries on, the words now flowing freely without holding back. ,,And I'm assuming Madison dodged it and it hit..it..'' but she doesn't get to finish as tears return and Billie is quick to wipe them, understanding now what unfolded. ,,Come here'' the medium ushers and Cordelia hesitates, feeling stupid for being coddled after causing you pain, thinking about how you deserved this more as of right now and how she wanted to do nothing more than hold you like this. But she gives in as Billie pulls her forward and into her arms.

Meanwhile, Wilhemina had taken you to her office, ushering you to sit, the door banging shut in the process, as she takes in your features. You seem utterly calm given the circumstances but the redhead worried with how quiet you had been. ,,Are you okay?'' she asks, while walking away for a moment to fetch you some water. All you can do is nod, unable to talk as it still feels like the word are caught in your throat. But obviously she couldn't see your nodding and as she returns she simply looks at you, her eyebrows furrowing before asking again ,,Little one, are you okay?'' her voice now a little firmer as she hands you the water, worry washing over her. And when you nod again, she scans you a little further, and by the way she stares at the water you can tell she wants you to drink some and so pathetically you try with shaky hands but it all comes straight back up as you choke on it, your throat burning.

Wilhemina watches in shock and a sense of horror, not remotely understanding what was going on and how Cordelia's magic may have caused some serious harm and damage. ,,Can you talk?'' she tries again, trying to search your eyes. And all you can do is shake your head, scanning the room before standing up, finding a piece of paper and a pen on her desk. You look at her for permission and she nods before you write down ,,It hurts''. And as her eyes read over the words, she sighs heavily. ,,Okay little one, how about we get you some rest?'' she offers and you simply nod as she offers to take you to bed but you shake your head, your eyes wandering to her armchair and if you could speak, you would have told her how you didn't want to be alone, how you wanted to stay with her as everything was scary right now and the only safe thing was her. She nods despite not understanding and watches as you curl up in a ball on her purple armchair. All she can do is watch in sorrow before walking over, placing a blanket gently over your shaking body and when your eyes close, she opts to sit by her desk, near enough to be able to see you and keep an eye on you.

As the redhead silently sits and watches, her thoughts go back to what had happened, knowing deep down that Cordelia would and could never cause you any harm intentionally. She judges the way the supreme must have miscalculated her steps, Wilhemina perceptive and smart enough to figure out that it was aimed at Madison, that witch clever enough to dodge it. And a small part of her knows that it was probably due to how agitated Cordelia was today and how Madison must have provoked her and how the supreme probably didn't even want to use magic but it probably came natural, as she knows Cordelia wouldn't use that sort of magic, especially not when you are nearby. But she can't help and feel anger nevertheless, seeing you still shaking on her chair, only a small part of her able to understand how painful this must be. The redhead would die in a heartbeat if it meant protecting either of you three but there was always something about you, maybe the fact that you are younger than her and maybe she wanted to protect you from it all, often unsure whether being around the witches especially the younger witches was smart as they certainly got up to things that Wilhemina wouldn't approve of.

And while fighting her internal battle, a part of her wanting to forgive Cordelia and simply take care of you, the door knocks as Billie had suggested checking on you both and Cordelia hesitantly agreeing, knowing that there was going to be a raging storm as soon as Wilhemina's eyes would meet hers. But she needed to check on you, to see that you are okay, that this didn't traumatise you, that this didn't make you scared of her. Wilhemina simply watches as the door opens, Billie's head poking around it, frowning as she sees you curled up so comfortably. She enters after Wilhemina nods, giving her permission to do so but her eyes draw away from the door as soon as she sees her other blonde girlfriend walk in, her features filled with guilt and regret and cheeks stained with previous tears shed. ,,Is she okay?'' Billie asks a little nervously, kneeling in front of you.

,,No'' is all Wilhemina can say as she holds the note to the medium, who hastily takes it, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion as she looks at the supreme, who simply stands frozen a few steps away from them. ,,She can't speak still?'' Billie Dean asks and Wilhemina simply nods avoiding Cordelia's pleading eyes. ,,Cordelia, is that normal?'' the medium asks anxiously, placing her hand on your cheek and stroking it gently. The supreme doesn't hesitate before speaking ,,Unfortunately yes, it may take a while for the pain to go''. The admission is so painful that it brings tears to her eyes again, unable to believe she had caused you pain. Billie is quick to get lost in her own world a little, all she can sense as of right now, you and her as she gets lost looking at her adorable babydoll, watching over you protectively, making sure your breathing is normal.

Meanwhile, Cordelia kneels in front of Wilhemina, trying to get her to actually look at her but the redhead is having a hard time. ,,Mina darling, please let me explain'' she practically begs but the redhead is having a hard time as her stubbornness had reached it's peak point, her walls built up high, threatening to lose herself in a battle of protectiveness over you. ,,I didn't mean to hurt her Mina'' Cordelia tries again, her voice gentle as her hands rest on Wilhemina's knees, trying to ground them both. ,,Don't you think I know that?'' the redhead suddenly hisses as her emotions get ahold of her and something within her snaps. ,,How could you have been so careless around her, you should know better'' Wilhemina carries on, her statement causing for a sharp pain to burden Cordelia's heart.

,,I know, I know'' the supreme admits, tears welling up in her eyes, before she takes a deep breath. ,,I wasn't trying to use my magic, on either of them, I wouldn't have done that to Madison either, despite her having it coming'' she explains, more to herself than the redhead as she had given up hope of her girlfriend forgiving her anytime soon for this. But then something within Wilhemina softens up, maybe the confirmation that Cordelia's magic just took over, maybe the genuine forgiveness in her voice or maybe just the love Wilhemina has for this woman and you two. The thought crosses her mind how if the redhead was a witch, she would send people flying across rooms all the time, whether that being intentional or not. And so, Cordelia suddenly feels a gentle squeeze on her hand that still rests on her girlfriends knee. And as she looks up, she sees forgiveness in the redheads eyes through her teary vision and it causes her to choke on a sob. ,,I'm so sorry'' she repeats, the crashing weight of guilt slowly dropping from her shoulders.

,,De...Delia'' a very quiet broken whisper fills the room and three heads instantly snap in your direction as you had woken from the broken nap. ,,Sweetie'' Cordelia coos, instantly on her feet and walking over to you. Sleep had certainly helped as the pain from your head was mostly gone, your throat feeling less on fire and the ability to talk finally returning. ,,Are you okay? what hurts sweetie?'' the blonde asks, her voice tinged with concern and worry over you. ,,I'm okay Delia, promise'' you assure, some words still coming out broken but much better than before. ,,I'm so sorry sweetheart'' she cries now, but you are quick to sit up a little and wipe her tears.

Billie's eyes travel towards Wilhemina as they watch the scene unfold, both feeling relieved and a little at ease to have you talking again. And slowly the tension fades with each passing minute, the academy silent as you manage to shush Delia's quiet sobs and wipe her tears. ,,Well I'm certainly glad we fixed that, considering what that pretty mouth of yours can do honey'' Billie jokes, causing the four of you to giggle, even Wilhemina's low chuckle ringing through the air.

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

Some Things, Only God Can Forgive

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Setting: Alexandria

Warnings: Implied/mention of teen pregnancy, mentions of premature birth, implied/mentions of CSA, mentions of domestic violence

Summary: You’re hurting and have to share something about your past in order for Daryl to understand.

A/N: I’ve allowed parts of my life to wiggle their way into my writing before but this may be the most personal thing I’ve ever used my writing to vent about. I implore you to read the warnings and not venture further if any of those will trigger you. Also, the decision the reader made in her past may be controversial. Please, just… be gentle with me on this one. I needed the outlet badly.

Gif by @daryl-dixon-daydreams

He found you sitting on the grass near the graves of the loved ones Alexandria had lost. You didn’t seem to be looking at the makeshift crosses, instead staring up at the sky, all orange and purple as the sun bid you goodnight. He approached you carefully, having seen you struggling throughout the day; tears you had tried to hide during your chores and the way you were so easily frustrated with yourself and would storm off to god knows where before returning like nothing had happened. 

“Hey.” Daryl said quietly. His knees cracked as he lowered to sit next to you. He mimicked your pose, stretching tired legs out in front of him but chose not to move when you drew your knees to your chest and wrapped your arms around them. The position made you look so small. 

“Hi.” You answered, barely loud enough for him to hear. 

“Y’okay?” The archer tried to keep his gaze on the darkening sky but found his eyes sliding over to watch you when you sighed. 

“No.” You whispered. He started to ask what he could do, what you needed but you didn’t give him a chance. “I need to tell you something.” 

That wasn’t reassuring. “Ya can tell me anythin’.” And you could, he hoped you knew that. His temper had calmed over the last year and a half. He found himself to be more thoughtful, his need to be quick to anger diminishing, though not completely absent. 

“Before the world fell,” you started, but your lip began to quiver. He watched you struggle for a moment but you seemed to settle. “Before the world fell, I was a mom.”

Daryl tried not to let the surprise show. Out of all the things you could have told him, this was not on his bingo card for the year. You had both spoken of your lives before the turn. He knew you had never had it easy, but a kid? Not trusting his voice, he hummed his acknowledgment and nodded for you to continue. You still weren’t looking at him but you must have seen because you did. 

“I was still a kid myself when he came along. I had no idea what I was doing.” You laughed but it was humorless and somehow made his heart ache. “Still, he was perfect. He was so small because he came early, but fuck, he was a fighter.” When the tears started to flow, the archer went against his better judgment and wrapped an arm loosely around your shoulders. You didn’t object. In fact, he wasn’t sure you even realized he had done it. 

“He was my world. Kept me going between the beatings and the other shit life would throw at me even after I ditched his asshole father.” You drew in a deep breath and the small smile you had managed to find faded. “He grew up. He was 18 a couple of years before the first walker turned.”

You remained silent for a while. Daryl wasn’t sure if you wanted to share anything more but he remained where he was and waited. Finally, you looked at him, tears in your eyes and an expression that would haunt him for the rest of his days. 

“That little girl didn’t deserve what he did to her, Daryl.” The bowman’s heart all but stopped. What were you saying? You turned away again, this time staring at the ground in front of your feet. “And he did it over and over for years. He wasn’t even a teenager when it started.”

Jesus.

His arm around you tightened. He couldn’t help it. 

You sniffed and rubbed at your eyes and nose a little harder than necessary. “I found out just before his 19th birthday. I kicked him out of my house and turned him in, but the legal system did what it does best. Failed. I don’t even know what happened to him. We never spoke again.” Your face screwed up again, more tears cascading over your cheeks. “She was just a little girl.” Your face disappeared against your knees, hard sobs wracking your small frame. 

Daryl did the only thing he could think of and pulled you toward him, finding you willing to bury your face against his chest and cry while he held you. What could he say that would make even the tiniest bit of that raw pain you were carrying any better? His lips pressed against the top of your head, his hand rubbing circles across your back. The sky was black and littered with stars when you finally calmed down enough to pull away from him. 

“I’m sorry.” You offered, seeing the dark spot on his button-up shirt. 

“Ya ain’t got nothin’ to be sorry for.” He made sure to be extra gentle when he thumbed away the remaining wetness below your eyes. You offered him a small smile when he leaned forward to press a kiss to your forehead, much like Carol had done for him only a few months prior.

“I should have told you before now.” 

“Don’t make a bit’a diff’rence.” The corner of his mouth lifted into a little half-smile when you met his eyes questioningly. 

“It doesn’t?” Your voice broke on the last syllable. “You still love me?” 

“Course I do. Ya did right by that girl even when it meant ya had to lose someone ya loved. Weren’t no easy thing to do.” Daryl allowed his knuckles to whisper down your jaw. “The hell ya think that’d make me—oomph!” He nearly toppled over when you launched yourself into his chest, your arms winding around his neck in a hold tight enough to restrict his ability to breathe properly. 

“Thank you.” Your hold loosened but didn’t fall away. 

“For what?” The archer asked, managing to climb to his feet with you still thoroughly attached. His hands came to rest softly on your waist. 

“For being everything I thought I’d never see of love.” 

Daryl felt a familiar sting in his own eyes, fighting back the urge with a hard sniff. The two of you stayed that way for a while longer when you suddenly pulled back and grabbed his hand, yanking him toward the cluster of houses. He stumbled comically before righting himself with a grumbled ‘the hell, woman’ but soon fell in step beside you, listening to you list off the food items the two of you had at home and ponder over things to make for a late dinner.

Of course, he still loved you. The archer was certain there was nothing you could tell him that would ever change that. 

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2024-08-04

(Previous post - current page 440)

Breaktime's over, it's about time to continue! Expect me to take a handful of days between each posting-day like this just to pace myself, and have time for fun video games and other such. But I've been really enjoying finally reading more HS2 too, especially seeing such hopeful stuff like this last pair of pages really hitting home on the optimism! Let's get back to it.

Meanwhile...

Wait did we SEE her keel back over like this? Alt!Callie in this younger/teenage corpse of Jade Harley's body I mean? When did that happen? *thumbs back through old pages...* Let's see here... my browser still glitches the fuck out seizureways at the few pages that were Blacked Out, so i'll use a backup browser for those... no, further back... oh wow I forgot Aradia got such a cool Calliope-supporting outfit to show off she's on their side, literally zero memory of that and that's some FINE drip...

Oh shit wait, so it happened back over here??? (289/290)

--I figured back then she'd gotten a snap headache because of having to abandon possessing Jade's MAIN body in the struggle Alt!Calliope had with Jade's consciousness culminating around page 168, but these cuts are all so far apart-- and being knocked out of the other Jade's body shouldn't have knocked her out of this CORPSE. So is somethign entirely NEW going on that has to do perhaps with Dirk Strider's plans to maintain control of the narrative when the other kids arrive there?? Hmmm.

Anyway now I know where that bonus panel I'd accidentally glimpsed with "god-tier bodies don't decompose right" that I mentioned last blogging session came from. But why the fuck?

==>

Gosh I've missed seeing panels like this.

Wait, why are we cutting to CANDY JOHN like that's relevant here? Wasn't he in Roxy's secret lab last we saw him? Does THAT have something to do with this?! Oh shit.

(John: Investigate noise.)

Following Roxy's instructions, you proceed in the direction of the noise to go and meet up with your old friends. You approach where you thought you heard them, but to your surprise you hear an unfamiliar voice grumbling something incoherent.

JOHN: uhhh, rose? jade? JOHN: ... kanaya?

Hm? What was going on upstairs again, Karkat met up with the other liberators right? Okay let me not be so lazy and go back and check again...

Excuse me for a second, I'm going backwards to review and post some older HS2 stuff for a bit:

No they left, then John came from his destroyed old house to his and Roxy's NOT-old house, then they transportalized downstairs to the secret lab buried "hella underground" not directly under the house, where Calliope is wearing... suspiciously the EXACT new outfit that Aradia is wearing, and gives her hints that she enjoys all sorts of alternate stories like watching Roxy be in a relationship with John here in Candy instead of with herself in Meat, and added fuel to our obvious theory suspicions that Meat Alive Calliope is the author-narrator shaping the (Candy) timeline with her wall drawings and Muse of Space powers, and that they are... standing in the location in their reality that corresponds to the exact center of the singularity / black hole they're trying to stabilize? I'd forgotten about that... and then Calliope told John that alt!Calliope and Aradia and such had broken out of the black hole's event horizon for their mission, while Calliope explained that (Candy)'s timeline is so WEIRD because they've been disconnected a little TOO much from the canon of reality, like a fanwork that strays a little too far from the source material, so they need to stabilize it somehow AND NEED VRISKA (to either steal some relevance back from Canon or to get swapped there with something else or, something else we might have theorized?) but I had plumb forgotten that they SPECIFICALLY say that for their plans to work they needed John to leave and do something:

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy!

ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

Right, Vriska's constant focus on making herself one of the most relevant characters to Canon and her powerset actually making her perfect TO do that as a Thief of Light (relevance/importance) makes that a good plan. And I fully expected one possibility was that they somehow allow her to break through to the Canon Meat timeline and both (1) influence it some way, and (2) get to a place where she could eventually reunite with Terezi Pyrope finally instead of just having left her a parting message, which may or may not happen if Meat Terezi is going to focus possibly a bit more on her relationship with John(June) once somehow resurrected or such but would definitely be amazing to have them reunited when Terezi spent SO MUCH TIME looking for her that she wasn't even part of the (Candy) timeline of events? Enough re-theorizing let me keep re-reading-- And... oh right,

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

I'm sure I was happy as hell to see that explicitly spelled out in canon for once instead of implied, because it may have been obvious to those of you who follow theoryblogs but one of the big reasons I'm glad to see these things made more explicit out in HS^2 is so even casual readers can pick up that these aspects always had these additional more important purposes that line up with all the events that happened in the past of the original comic.

But anyway. John's about to go on his bust-Vriska-out-of-prison quest:

And it's not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It's at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It's the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

And then,

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don't need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska JOHN: i'll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one's fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

And that's where we left off-- wasn't it their kids' team who got back into their house or something? Eh I'm done looking, now I at least know there was A NOISE that was playing through the monitors from the topside of their house above the teleporter that he's running to intercept.

Okay, past catch-up over. Back to present liveblogging. Looks like this isn't Rose and Kanaya like John expects, from the sound of it-- but the way John's running down a hallway makes it look like this is INSIDE OF THE LAB STILL, so the question is who is down here or CAME down here or...

(==>)

Oh, Sollux is helping Roxy and Calliope out with their project, playing on Roxy's pink retro consoles. That shouldn't actually be too shocking should it.

Wait, how is he playing video games if he's BLIND? Robo-eyes? It's gotta be robo-eyes.

(==>)

Stare

(==>)

Sandwich stare

(==>)

SOLLUX: eating a sandwich.

Brilliant. And yeah he lives here-- but he's actually LOOKING at stuff isn't he, with eyes of some sort? Even though he's still using the 0 quirk? Tell us what's up with that!

(==>)

John stop thinking this is a relationship between Sollux and Roxy, your divorcee/ex. Unless it is, which would be pretty cool honestly.

(==>)

SOLLUX: y0u w0rried im m0ving in 0n y0ur ex? JOHN: ...hmm. SOLLUX: ... JOHN: hm. hmm. hm. JOHN: hm? HMMMM. SOLLUX: what is g0ing 0n here. JOHN: sorry, i had an answer but then i started actually considering it. JOHN: am i jealous? JOHN: hmmm... SOLLUX: if i tell y0u straight up n0 we arent h00king up will y0u st0p? JOHN: ...maybe? SOLLUX: g0ddammit.

I'm really enjoying all this for some reason.

JOHN: are you still hanging out with that creepy alive girl? SOLLUX: SOLLUX: 0n a spiritual level. JOHN: cool! JOHN: is ... she also dating roxy? SOLLUX: what? SOLLUX: idk.

I'm pretty sure I get excited at the idea of literally ANY relationship potentially happening between all these characters I love.

(==>)

Oh no John is offloading his personal problems on him in longform conversation. He doesn't want that! XD

JOHN: and it only changed because i started talking to people again. SOLLUX: (i did this t0 myself why did i ask) JOHN: i guess in gamer terms it's the same as screwing yourself over by not checking every non playable character dialogue box. JOHN: any one of them could have the clues you need.

Feels kind of like we're doing the thing from that Steven Universe: Future episode where Steven is critically upset that important things happened in the lives of his friends offscreen somewhere he wasn't around to be aware of it, when realistically as a person you can't keep up with everything, especially not John who kept to himself in a slump for a decade as he puts it in some of the conversation I'm not fully requoting.

Okay Sollux dunks on John a bit, possibly deservedly... and to some extent, in a misogynist gamer phrasing typical to Sollux, John's lack of agency? Which I think would improve somewhat once the gender issues Roxy alluded to both upstairs and in the lab with him are resolved in part, because he can't be FULLY comfortable swept up in a relationship while he's still considering herself "he"...

SOLLUX: i have n0t been able t0 play this game the wh0le time because s0me0ne was talking 0ver the s0und. JOHN: oh! JOHN: sorry : (

Oh he's been using sound-only and audio assistance to play the game like a speedrunner almost instead of seeing it. That explains that.

(==>)

I don't quite understand the shape of that thing to the right of Sollux's head, like there's some sort of watermark over it WAIT THAT'S A DOOM SYMBOL WATERMARK TAKING UP MOST OF THE FRAME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE

SOLLUX: w0rds d0nt mean much. SOLLUX: 0nly acti0ns.

(This is a perfect sort of thing someone for someone on the Life/Doom spectrum to say, which would be MUCH MUCH HARDER for someone on the Light/Void spectrum to say or especially a Light player. Doom being about the consequences of one's actions in part and all.) Is he about to use some Mage of Doom powers visibly onscreen?

(==>)

Ohhh. So he was making a dramatic Doom Prophecy that will matter to John's choices in the future if he heeds the right lessons, while also hinting toward the nature of Doom itself as I covered. Got it. That's fun! Also it was a pink cat pillow behind his head, that's the thing I was having so much trouble seeing.

(==>)

SOLLUX: WAIT. JOHN: !

He's gonna ask him to pass him a soda from across the room or something.

(==>)

SOLLUX: change my game f0r me.

This is so cute.

(Be Vrissy.)

GODDAMNIT JAILBREAK AGAIN LOL

Vriska the elder has decided to take it upon herself to test if you measure up to the arduous task of being a Vriska. For your first test: find a way to bust out of this dump. What will you do?

Stop judging her on your stupid Vriska standards, Vriska! I hope the way this plays out eventually plays straight into the idea that this very-Vriska-like-but-not-quite-Vriska individual has her own unique strengths. I'm not sure I mentioned it earlier, but when I said that it's possible that Vrissy is a Mind player, I'm actually really excited to see the comic demonstrate that (regardless of whether or not Vrissy is or isn't completely genetically identical to Vriska) because not only would it be a good lesson for the original Vriska that Vrissy has her own value, it's also a great Classpect demonstration of how the difference in their characters and action styles amounts to a different effect on reality in the form of a Hero Title that is different...

...and in fact now that I think about it, even though it may have rubbed me just slightly wrong somewhere inside that Vrissy and Vriska could have different Hero Titles even if they WERE genetically identical, I'm actually gonna turn around and say I've decided I love that, because if Sburb gives the genetically identical Vrissy a different title and she unlocks a different powerset purely because of the unique combination of nature *AND* nurture that resulted in her, that would emphasize much more properly that Sburb isn't FORCING or pigeonholing you into a Hero Title that doesn't suit you, it really is reading into your future and soul to tell you THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY you PERSONALLY would find right to influence reality around you. That makes the lesson of its title assignment and the answer to the Ultimate Riddle that I've long discussed a STRONGER answer, not a weaker one.

And I'm encouraged by the very first thing Vrissy tries being something the original Vriska would NEVER have tried first, which Vriska over here probably is gonna be snide/discouraging about:

(Vrissy: Call for help.)

Have we SEEN their chumhandles before? I feel like we've seen Vrissy's before at least-- "adamantGriftress" is an awesome chumhandle for her, and I know for SURE I've already seen thespiansGlamor as Harry Anderson's. Who the fuck is glutinousGymnast, is that Yiffy's handle, and what does glutinous mean again?!?? (I had to google it just in case, it's New Tavros's handle. Glutinous is "like glue in texture; sticky.", often referring to sticky rice or baking dough. Ew. Stickiness sort of implies the opposite of Breath doesn't it...? And he's a gymnast?)

Now. Who the fuck is "recidivousGainsayer"? Vrissy didn't know Yiffy existed, so she wouldn't have her in her phone already unless they'd been internet friends without knowing each other personally, which would be... kinda sweet really. And Yiffy is certainly rebellious, but she seems more recalcitrant than recidivous, though I can't rule it out, especially since she's basically grown up at a boarding school; a quick google to see if we'd seen the chumhandle before also highlighted someone commenting that "RG" doesn't follow the ACGT DNA pattern, and even if you switch to RNA it just swaps the T with a U. Could be that this is a chumhandle of one of the characters we had been following over in the Bonus Comics or something.

You're pretty sure that would be an automatic fail on Vriska's test. But even if it wasn't, it isn't like you could message anyone; not anyone worth talking to anyway. There's no service in here, the only bars you've got are the ones on the windows.

Yeah, Vrissy at least knows Vriska well enough to know what she'd approve and disapprove of most broadly, unfortunately. I hope she comes to understand how Vriska should really not be her role model.

Oh not this again--

(Vrissy: Get key.)

Vriska drew this shitty key on the floor "juuuuuuuust in case you need a reminder of what you should be working towards ::::)."

Vriska, you asshole!

(Vrissy: Try the door.)

You fruitlessly pull on the bars. Vriska says it looks like it's still locked. Yeah???????? No shit, you tell her. You're just trying to see if you can get a guard's attention. She says ooooooooh that's a good idea.

If you don't keep complimenting her I'm going to be very cross with you, Vriska.

Hm, it'd be really fitting and interesting if Vrissy Mindgames her way out of this one by putting on a façade of distress and convincing the guard to barge in, maybe saying Vriska's escaped or such.

(Vrissy: Get a guard's attention.)

One of those guards Jane intentionally had all dress like Dave to taunt Jane about Dave's death or just make them harder for her and Rose to stomach fighting, right.

Maybe you should use some of your SICKNASTY BRAIN EXPLOITABLES on this jabroni.

How much practice does she have with her psychic powers? All Aranea was able to do with Cerulean psychics on humans was get a vague sense of the emotions of people around her toward her like she always does, and Vriska WAS able to put a human to sleep or wake them in another universe but only when trying so hard that her Light symbol flashed in her eye, emphasizing that a Cerulean troll who WASN'T using the powers of a God-Tier Thief of Light wouldn't necessarily be able to do the same to a human. Stealing wakefulness or stealing through wakefulness, wakefulness being a part of Agency and thus Light, where Void is associated with sleep and dreams, et cetera. (Vriska put people (like Jade D:) to sleep FAR FAR MORE OFTEN than she woke them up, and when she woke John that one time it could have been considered "stealing THROUGH Light" because it deprived him of an opportunity in his dreams to meet his Dad as his dreamself just to give Vriska the selfish opportunity to speak with him at the exact time she'd wanted to speak with him.)

Also, if Vrissy DOES refer to her Cerulean mind powers as "sicknasty BRAIN exploitables" that does put Mind more in mind than usual... and exploitables could just be flavor or it COULD be a reference to EXPLOIT, the theoretical Knight/Page action verb?! --Nah that's probably a stretch.

(Vrissy: Use your Sicknasty Brain Exploitables.)

You apply the focused totality of your psychic power into this douchebag's cranium. Frustratingly, it looks like this guy is resisting your psychic enthrallment so he can get at that donut. Other than occasionally making Tavros dance when he's being boring, you honestly don't do this much.

Holy shit, if she could make New Tavros DANCE, this actually means that Vrissy has more control over human minds than Vriska ever had?!? That or New Tavros is uniquely impressionable, which is ALSO a possibility; the original comic itself emphasized that the "impressiona8le" were more vulnerable to her abilities... those who had less control or agency over themselves.

Also, Vriska had only just met her first humans when her psychic talents were limited to making them sleep-- Vrissy grew up alongside other humans, and that might just be enough for her to understand their minds enough to do some occasional manipulation.

Your mom is always like, "You Need To Listen To Me Vriska Its Important To Keep These Skills Honed In Case Shit Gets Real", but shit so rarely if ever gets real so mom should get OFF your CASE!!!!!!!! Until now, you guess. Wow do you hate realizing your mom was right about shit. ANYWAYS, LAY OFF THE FUCKING DONUTS AND GET OVER HERE ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!

On the one hand, it's unsurprising that Vrissy didn't keep her talents honed for battle or anything, and wouldn't have invested nearly as much energy into exploiting people with psychic powers as Vriska's twisted childhood forced her to; but on the other hand, like I said, this is STILL a bit more direct influence over humans than Vriska ever had, even if it's not working right now!

(==>)

Hell yeah!!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT SHE ACTUALLY OUTCLASSED ORIGINAL VRISKA IN CONTROLLING A HUMAN MIND.

Is Vriska going to feel jealous?! Holy shit?!?? Or is this old hat for her now and she's gonna say she could do it all along, or a retcon along those lines or-- gosh just PLEASE I WANNA SEE VRISKA JEALOUS AS FUCK OF VRISSY'S PSYCHIC TALENTS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HAVE ORIGINAL VRISKA GO "WHOA HOW DID YOU DO THAT"

(Vriskas: Exit the cell.)

Damn that felt good. After locking up the guard you turn to Vriska and ask her what next. Vriska says that now it's time to fuck some shit up. You like the sound of that. You ask her if there's any specific shit or place she wants to go fuck up. She says you'll just walk around until you land somewhere cool. You both laugh. You ask her what her real plan is. She keeps laughing as she walks away.

That's definitely her real plan. But anyway-- UGH, missed opportunity here. I guess we're just supposed to take it as a given that if original Vriska had had enough time, or grown up more, she could do the same thing to impressionable-enough humans as she did to trolls too, or the like.

(==>)

ALARMS BLARING, GUARDS RUNNING-- yeah they didn't cause this, this is some other assault on the Jail, right?

Okay, that's a lot of goons. You suggest to Vriska that you should go the other direction. Vriska says nah this is definitely where we wanna be. She says between the two of you, you've probably got enough luck to take this whole place off the map if you really wanted. You ask her what the fuck she means by that. She says you know like with your Thief of Light powers. You tell her you don't have anything like that. She says huh, weird!

VRISKA WHY THE FUCK WOULD IT BE WEIRD, VRISSY DIDN'T PLAY THE GAME OR GO GOD-TIER, YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD LUCK-STEALING POWERS UNTIL YOU PLAYED THE GAME!!!

Wait, let's back up a sec.

Vriska is smart enough to know that you CAN tap into your Hero Title powers even if you're not someone who's hit God-Tier. As a gleaner of deep lore about the game, Vriska ALSO would put together that the powers you get in the game are inherent to you even before you PLAY the game if you're skilled enough or high up on your echeladder enough to access them, so even if she never Stole Light directly before she played Sgrub, she technically COULD have. Maybe she figures Vrissy, as a coincidental genetically identical alt-version of her, should have access to the same powers just by virtue of having the same genes and training from her Seer of Light Mom knowing she'd have that potential in her genetically, OR, hear me out--

Vriska has already let us know that she's PLANNING ON STARTING A NEW GAME SESSION which we all figure will include Vrissy and the other kids as the players, and Vriska probably figures those kids will be the players too!

So, and I know this is some 3D-chess assumption-maneuvering here and I might be way off base, just taking so much from this single exchange...

...My guess is that Vriska thinks Vrissy ought to ALREADY HAVE inherent Thief of Light powers deep inside her and untapped, because she thinks Vrissy is going to be a PLAYER and thus ALWAYS WOULD gain her powers! Powers which she, of course, would ASSUME would match hers given their genetic similarity-- she would ASSUME Vrissy would also be a Thief of Light.

Except that none of the way Vrissy has actually behaved has resembled a Thief of Light much at all, and Hero Titles are inherent to your PERSONALITY and its method of action of influencing reality around you... and we already have background hinting that matches MUCH closer to her character and her behavior/actions in dialogue with others that she may be a Mind player.

Vriska didn't scold Vrissy for not having tried hard enough to develop the Thief of Light abilities she ASSUMED were inherent to Vrissy. She instead seems confused that she's never manifested any, and said "huh, weird!". Despite the knots in her psychology, both Vriska's smarts and her hero title are likely hinting to her that there might be some flaw in her assumptions here-- something that's keeping this from being a sarcastic scolding and instead telling her something isn't right about the knowledge she thought she had at hand.

(==>)

Vriska says that's perfectly fine as she always prefers a challenge. Vriska Serket, the daring Thief of Light and her imitation kid Vriska sidekick against countless foes. Marquise Spinneret Mindfang leading her Neophyte Bluehair, it's a tale for th- w8 w8 hold the fuck up. You ask her what the fuck does she mean "imitation.

Of course, just because Vriska isn't going to be an asshole in that PARTICULAR direction was never any assurance that Vriska wasn't going to be an asshole. She still views (Vrissy) as the less important version of the original her, and she's still going to frame everything in that light because of course she would, it's still in her nature and she still hasn't fully learned her lesson yet.

(==>)

I'm at the image limit so I'm gonna hold off on posting Vriska's hilariously condescending greasy expression and Vrissy squinting hilariously absolutely having fucking none of it:

Vriska says to not let it get to you, but she's pretty much figured out that this whoooooooole timeline is phony. You know, inauthentic. Fake. Bogus even. She says it's somehow the off brand equivalent of a universe and she really hopes you kept the receipt. You assure her that both you and this timeline are in fact, real as shit. She doesn't seem convinced. She says it's mostly from the little things she's noticed. You ask like what, she's only been on this planet for like a day and a half. She gestures vaguely and tells you to give her a boost so she can reach that ventilation shaft.

Yeah, the way this version of reality isn't as tethered to Canon means Vriska isn't going to take it seriously-- she shares Dirk's view of the (Candy) timeline in that regard, really. And they BOTH are going to receive their comeuppance and learn their lesson.

Phew-- that image limit was a good sign, I was already hitting the limits of my energy for the day, that was hours of liveblogging and typing. I guess we'll leave off here until another day! As I said at the outset, I'm still going to be pacing myself and only doing liveblogging every few days like I mentioned, but that doesn't mean I'm not VERY MUCH enjoying this and very looking forward to where it's going. If I weren't liveblogging, I'd get there a lot faster, I assure you, but then you wouldn't get to see me go off on random Classpect tangents about stuff you already guessed! :D

See you in a few days!

[tyhxrondxle]

REREADING LADY MIDNIGHT BUT I would kill myself and everyone else in this world to keep Julian Blackthorn protected AND appreciated by those to whom he has given so much (yes Mark, I’m talking to you)

Part 3😘😊

i swear to god there are some scenes that I can’t remember ever reading. But hey, in one of those Emma realizes she wants Jules!! Go baby!!!

THE SCENE WHERE CRISTINA CUTS MARKS HAIR???/?2€2!2!2€:€ Okay, hear me out. When I read this book for the first time back in 2016 I had already spend over two years obsessing over Julian and Emma, and I must admit I did not give a shit about anyone else until I read Lord of shadows BUT NOW THAT IM OLDER AND WISER CRISTINA AND MARK IN THIS SCENE MADE ME GIGGLE LIKE A TEENAGER. "You would be lovely in the Court” Mark Blackthorn get a grip.

THE CAR/IRATZE/JULIAN DYING SCENE. i’ve spent years obsessing over this scene. it has played in replay in my mind so many times that by the time I reread it I was sure it had been a fever dream of mine. but no, here’s Julian Simp Blackthorn being the horniest for Emma while also fucking dying???:!2&2!/! He’s so in love I might actually die.

Cassie foreshadowing Livvy and Cameron’s relationship in Thule (it might not have been intentional but let’s pretend) *clears throat* and I quote: “In Emma’s defense, Cameron’s annoying, but he’s hot. I mean, if you like guys who look like a redheaded Captain America, which I…don’t? (Livvy speaking)

kieran and mark my beloveds. Cristina looking at Kieran while he was looking at Mark and thinking “Never had a faerie looked so human to Cristina as Kieran did then”. I screamed actually

okay looK!!! I have a thing about a very specific trope which fits exactly with Emma and Jules, being childhood best friends to lovers but the man is and has always been a total SIMP. well, i’m gonna quote Julian thinking about Emma’s hair and i’m gonna pretend i did not cry while reading it: “emma’s hair. maybe because she took it down so rarely, maybe because emma with her hair down was one of the first things he’d ever wanted to paint”

julian and his siblings relationship has always been something that made my heart physically ache. So Julian falling with Tavvy on the stairs and hitting himself to protect Tavvy but also immediately checking if HIS baby is okay. you can not fucking tell me he should not be loved for eternity by fucking everyone

the fact that Julian can’t be physically close to emma without mentally collapsing. i mean, the man was dancing with her and he was floating. the intimacy, the CONNECTION, THE TOUCHING *chef’s kiss*

also, last but not least. alexa play When Emma falls in love by taylor swift.

okay, i’m done, shutting up now, goodbye till tomorrow I hope (also, would love to know your opinions on the scenes I talk about and shit, I’d love to make friends that feel ass passionate about tda as I do🥺)

[philaet0s]

Celebrity/Social Media AU - Part 8

Previous Part: Part 7

Next Part: Part 9

More written POVs! There will be one more and then back to the fake twitter updates aha

‼️ mature content ‼️

Simon

Baz said he had a “surprise for me for my birthday.” I would say that the presents –plural–, lunch in my favourite restaurant in the city, afternoon tea at the Ritz –I don’t like when Baz makes me spend the night here, but god, do I love the food and tea–, and the two hours we spent wrapped around each other on the couch during which he read to me were already more than enough, but it seems he has something else in mind. And it’s something we’re doing outside the house!

It’s actually kind of rare for us to do that. Leave our place. We go to the restaurant once in a while, but that’s all. It gets messy, Baz gets recognised, and we both prefer staying inside anyway. I only like being outside if I can run around in a large field like an overexcited puppy, and that’s hard to do in central London.

We go to his recording studio. Uh?

I follow him, my mind reeling with ideas. It’s rare for him to take me here. It’s only happened a handful of times since we’ve been together. That’s his workplace; I don’t make a habit of taking him to the kitchen of my bakery either.

I don’t even question the fact that it’s 1 in the morning and the studio has been closed for hours. I suppose when your family owns it, you can come whenever, though I already know he’s going to get a text from Fiona in the morning when she finds out the alarm was deactivated in the middle of the night.

He sits in the chair in front of the computer and searches for a specific file. He hasn’t told me what I should be doing, but I suppose if we’re here, we’re going to be listening to music, so I come and stand behind him. The sound is better here than when you’re sitting on the couches by the wall, or so Baz said last time we came. (His musicians were there too last time, though. It was a proper album listening party. We had food and drinks, it was great.)

“There you go,” he says, as he clicks on an audio file. He pauses it before I can hear the first note. “I wrote this for you. I recorded it before I went on tour. I’m… very excited for you to hear it.”

My face splits in a grin. Oh, how much I love the songs he writes for me…

I lean down and kiss his cheek, which is a little pink. He’s so cute.

He pushes the chair away from the table, forcing me to step aside. Then, he pats his thigh. “C’mere, will you.”

Gladly.

I sit on his lap, and he closes his arms around my waist. He has to fully extend his arm to be able to click play.

Music immediately fills the room. It’s not the gentle kind of production I was expecting. Baz’s songs for me –the ones he makes just for me, not all the songs he writes about me– are often ballads. He’s romantic like that.

Not this one.

That’s something that could be played at a club. Or one of his concerts. It’s unusual, but I like it.

The lyrics are less surprising than the production. They’re brilliant, his lyrics are always brilliant, and convey a perfect blend of love and lust, though the rasp in his voice definitely emphasises the lust part.

So does his hand on my thigh. He’s tapping the rhythm of the song. It’s a very innocent touch. It’s driving me insane.

When the music stops, I clear my throat and try to collect myself. (It’s hard. I’m sitting on him for fuck’s sake.)

“It was very good.”

“Very good? That’s all?”

His finger is doing a lot more than just tapping my thigh. He slid his hand down, his entire palm cupping the inside of my thigh. He moves it up and down absentmindedly.

His index finger is now dangerously close to my crotch. Not close enough.

I swallow. I feel like a teenager, but can I really be blamed? It’s been a while. And he’s so… And the song was…

“I… I liked the… lyrics.”

“Yes? Anything else?”

He slides his hand up. He’s properly touching me now. I don’t even have enough clarity to be embarrassed that I’m already rock hard. “The chorus. It’s… memorable.”

He unbuttons my jeans. His lips are on my neck. “Y– Your voice. I like how… how much deeper it… fuck…” His hand is cold. “...sounds. During the chorus.”

He hums, and that could honestly finish me off.

“You like my voice deeper?” he asks. In that deeper voice. As he strokes my cock.

Goddammit.

He nips at my neck. “I have an idea. Come with me.”

And just like that, he takes his hand out of my pants. I might just explode.

“Baz.”

I see him press a few buttons before he takes my hand.

“Come with me,” he repeats.

He’s walking up to the door that leads to the other side of the studio, behind the glass panel.

I have no clue what he has in mind, but what choice do I have but to follow him?

He promptly presses me against that stupid glass panel and crashes his lips against mine. That’s better.

—————————

You guessed it, the next part will be smut

I’m posting it later today!

[desi-girll]

TW: don't read if you don't want to know about self harm, but again, this is a positive post because it's about recovery, so nothing very explicit... but again, please don't read if you might get triggered <3

Page 261 of 366

Dear diary 🧸,

so, today is a big day for me. and when i say big, i mean it in a really really proud way.

because

today, 17th September 2024, marks one year of me being clean from self harm ♡

and i feel like the credit for this one goes entirely to me. last year and before that, my mental health was a shitshow. i was in a toxic friend group, very very insecure of my body, and thought that maybe I'm doomed to be be "ugly" girl. then, of course, the pressure of being a 11th grade science student. i'm sure most of the ones who have been, can relate? parents not understanding, marks not upto our expectations, exams, assignments and what not. so much pressure. but maybe it was just me who couldn't deal with the pressure and got more addicted to something I'd already been doing for 2 years prior to that.

on september 17th, 2023, getting a 4 out of 30 in physics? let's cut again, in the bathroom. believe me, i was addicted to the feel of the sharp compass needle against my skin. to this day, although healed, i still regret the feel of the scars on my thighs. i wish i hadn't ruined God's gift like that. i really do. but maybe it'll go away with time.

so, anyways, on that day suddenly i decided i don't wanna be like this anymore. i wanna heal myself and my relationship with my body. so i just kinda stopped. and trust me, it wasn't easy. so many times, i just randomly started thinking about how good it used to feel, sometimes my emotions were so strong that it was really hard to not start again but now i know how to restrain myself. i know a little bit of self control.

moreover, what really helped in boosting my self esteem was working out. i never that the solution to a positive body image for me maybe to move around and yknow, exercise a lil. and now, what motivates me the most is when i hear compliments from the same people who used to pass comments about my body before. i actually love my body now, or am trying my best to, because unlike one year prior, i'm really fucking fit and healthy now <3

so yes, that's the story and i hope this 1 year can progress to 2, then 3, then 4 and then slowly be a thing i struggled with, in my teenage years but then taught myself a way out of it.

for those of yall out there, struggling with any kind of self destructive behavior, be safe please. i promise you, there are so many ways to heal and recovery is one hundred percent possible ♡

love,

me

[perpetuelledaydreaming]

Ivy | chapter fourteenth

listen to: False God - Taylor Swift (playlist here)

warning: infidelity. violence. blood. for this chapter is mostly grief.

word count: 2.1k

series masterlist + read the next chapter early on my ko-fii!!

The sunlight filtered through the trees, casting dappled shadows over your batter body. The blood on your hands had dried by now, as well as the tears in your eyes as you drove through the narrow grey road. With no helmet on, you finally feel like you can breathe as your mind plays over and over again a collection of the last twenty-four hours. 

Rooster’s bloody lip, Jake’s blood on his face. The way they looked at you and everyone looked at you as you exited the base with blood dripping from your body. How you’d brushed off Jake as he tried to talk to you after the exercise, how you’d undressed willingly to Bradley, how you didn’t tell him you were his. Jake’s face when Bradley told him you’d slept together, Bradley’s face as Jake told him you’d been together for five months. 

You barely realize you need to stop before you go farther than you intend to. You hear the soft rustling of leaves and the distant chirping of birds. Summer was slowly slipping away; it ended for you when Jake and you had broken things off, though. Your heart weighs heavy as you walk on the grass; a part of you wants to keep pulling away from this. 

You hadn’t been there in a while. 

You’d visited only once since you’d come back. 

“Hey, Dad,” you start softly, your voice quivering. Kneeling, you brush away the fallen leaves, clearing a space to sit beside the cold stone. You trace your fingers over the engraved name, the memories of him flooding back. 

Thomas ‘Iceman’ Kazansky 

1959-2022

You wonder what you can say; your heart feels so heavy as you watch the tombstone. A constant ache that you had never indeed addressed. 

“I really wish you were here right now,” Tears well up in your eyes as you continue. “I don’t know what I’m doing, and I feel like I’m messing everything up,” 

You pause for a moment, watching his name expectantly. I wish you could feel him, hoping he could send you a sign. You need him here, you’ve fucked up everything, and now you’re entirely alone. You’re alone because he left you so, so soon. He isn’t there. He will never be able to make it right. You broke everything, and there’s no way to make it right. 

Suddenly, grief overwhelms you. Your shoulders shake with the weight of your emotions, and your tears fall freely, splashing onto the grass beneath you. 

“I don’t know what to do, Dad,” you admit through your sobs. “I’m angry at myself for letting it get this bad, I’m angry at you for never allowing me to look beyond what you wanted, I’m angry for,” you stop yourself. It is useless to blame anyone but yourself; it is your fault. Silence lingers for a second. “I should’ve been happy with just Rooster, right?”

You stare at the stone as you bite your inner cheek. 

“Right?” you whisper, your voice barely audible. Deep down, you know it can’t be the truth; you’re lying to yourself and him. It can’t be true because you know that being as happy as you were with Jake meant that it wasn’t a mistake. 

“I don’t know how to make it better, and now we will go to a death trap together, and,” you take a sigh, attempting to calm down the way your chest aches. “If I choose one, I lose the other,”

Defeated, you sit next to the stone, your back to one of the sides while you try to stop crying. The lump in your throat doesn’t surrender until a while has gone by. The memories of Ice flood back, a bittersweet montage of all the lessons he taught you, the compilation of them in your mind. To find clarity, you go back to those moments. You go back to what you learned, hoping to find an answer. 

Tears well up in your eyes as you recall Ice’s voice. A lesson you learned when you started to fly with him, you can feel him. In one of those times, he let you take control of the flight when you were barely a teenager, one of those airplanes he’d gotten just to teach his kids, which mostly ended up being just you. 

“Don’t let anything get in between you’re flying,” he’d told you during that sunset after you’d made a wrong turn. “Nothing gets between you and this plane. No fear, no tears, no one, and nothing. You and your wingman have to get home safe before and above anything,” 

When you open your eyes, leaning drowsily back against the stone even further. You can finally breathe as you make your decision. You want it to stop; you want to put a pause on your life, on the decision, and you are hurting—they're hurting. You want to save their lives and know you’ll put them in more danger if you don’t stop.  

“Dad,” you murmur as you turn to the rock, secretly hoping to see him beside you. “I wish you were here,”

You can feel him; you can imagine him nodding in understanding; you wipe away the few tears in your cheeks before standing from the grave. 

You don’t arrive at your house until the twilight of the day casts a warm, golden glow that bathes your body in a soft, ethereal light. That is how Jake’s eyes fall on you; you seem so small. You have looked like that for Jake since this morning. The first time Jake had seen you like that was after you’d told him about kissing Rooster, then when he’d broken up with you. Before, it wasn’t feasible for Jake to see you in another light that wasn’t strong and decided, confident in yourself. 

You curated yourself so well in front of everyone before, he’d come to realize. No one is close enough ever to see the cracks. He wondered as your eyes fell on him if it was indeed a privilege to see you this torn apart. It didn’t feel like it, not when he could see your swollen nose and the dried blood on your body, eyes bloodshot from crying so much; he knew it well. It felt like even less when your eyes darted to the other side of the door, where Bradley was standing. 

They’d managed to get themselves to the nursery before they continued to tear themselves apart. Still, while Bradley was getting the stitches to his busted lip and Jake was getting checked to see if his nose was not effectively broken, they were biting each other’s heads off with insults and allegations. 

It wasn’t Jake’s proudest moment; the regret of letting you go alone in such a state was also eating him alive. 

At least until now, you don’t seem as broken anymore. 

Bradley notices it first, though. Perhaps because he has known you since he could remember, maybe it is because he also knew his uncle Ice like the back of his hands, he is not quite sure. But he is confident that, for him, it is pretty obvious that you’ve made a decision. 

You know he’s aware of it too, the way the corner of his eyes wrinkles, even with all the bruising, you can see it too. His face was etched with concern and anticipation, then something worse, fear. Jake’s anxiety doesn’t scale up until you speak. 

“Will you come inside?” 

The words come from you reasonably soft, but they pick it up immediately. The determination is unwavering. You are resolved. Neither Jake nor Bradley, who’d been pushing for an answer in the morning, were ready for you to have decided it that fast. The tension in the air is palpable as you open the doorstep into the room. The sun’s dying rays paint long shadows on the floor. 

Jake and Bradley suddenly are apprehensive about entering the place. Holding out at the other side of the threshold as you take off your shoes and look for clothes, you cringe as you watch your jacket and shoes from the day before on the misarranged couch. Quickly, you rearrange everything as well as you can while waiting for them to come in. You hope Jake doesn’t notice, but he does. 

He can’t stop following you with his gaze. 

“Aren’t you going to come in?” You ask them without looking, effectively avoiding Jake’s unwavering gaze. 

Bradley’s frustration is suddenly palpable as he watches how nonchalant you’ve turned after all this. “You’ve chosen,” he says as he enters the room. 

It is strange how much can change in 24 hours. Yesterday, barely at the same time, he thought he was getting you back. Now, nothing can be farther from the truth. 

“I have,”

Jake clenches his jaw as he expectantly waits for you to say Bradley’s name. He wouldn’t be surprised. He knows he was never the good guy; he knows he has played dirty before, trying to force you to decide. He isn’t the good guy you would’ve wanted. For a second, he lets himself think that he might be able to be happy for you and him. 

“I’m not choosing either of you,”

“You’re joking, right?”

“I’m not,” you state firmly. Bradley’s frustration is evident, but you press on, your gaze steady as you continue. “I’ve thought about this long and hard, and I refuse to let my emotions control my decisions. It’s not fair to any of us, and it’s time to put an end to this,”

Bradley’s voice takes on a skeptical tone. “How are you putting an end if you are not making a choice?” he scoffs. 

Your eyes dart to him, the tan skin and his caramel hair. You know him so well that you can trace the wrinkles in his forehead by memory now that he’s frowning. It seems unfair to him; how could it not? He had you this morning, in a bed, in his arms. An illusion. 

“We are going to get ourselves killed if we continue down this path,” you answer back firmly, your chest heavy as you watch Jake and then Bradley. “Nothing is more important than trusting each other, and we have less than a month to do so.”

Bradley persists, his frustration simmering. “You’re using the mission as—”

“—an excuse,” Jake’s voice suddenly interjects firmly. You snap your head towards him as you watch him softly. There’s nothing in those sea-foam eyes that can tell you what he’s thinking. 

You counter, “It isn’t an excuse. I’m doing what’s best for the sake of your well-being, for our well-being, for the team. I am not choosing either, and that’s my decision.”

Bradley’s brows furrow. “You’ll have to pick a wingman.”

You bite your inner cheek as you lean against the marble table where Jake and you’d spend so many nights together. Him cooking, you reading. Conversations always ran long. If it wasn’t conversations that ran long, it was kisses. 

“Maverick’s going to be my wingman,” you state softly, without looking at them, avoiding their reaction. 

“What?” they bark at the same time. The disbelief is palpable.

“I’ve called him. You are better off without me, and you’ve done this exercise with each other. Neither Cain nor Simpson want to see me interacting with either of you in the sky anyway,” you try to sound as reasonable as you can, but there’s no hiding that you’d also convinced Maverick of the choice. 

Bradley persists, “But we’ve been—”

“The decision was taken,” you interrupt firmly. “The mission is first, and I’m taking my emotions out of the equation, and that’s it,”

Bradley’s mouth opens for a moment and then closes. He stares at you wide-eyed, with utter shock at your words. There wasn’t a day where he wouldn’t think to fly without you before, not being your wingman but putting him together with Jake; even after everything, it feels too much like a betrayal. 

“You’re running away from them,” Jake speaks suddenly. 

Your eyes dart to him. There’s a feeling of betrayal in his words. It wasn’t a lie. Part of you knew it was the wisest decision, but it was a decision where you would’ve been let off as quickly as you could, without hurting the other one, without letting the other one go on a mission with a broken heart. You were washing your hands from this mess. 

“I’m not,” you retort. Your heart was racing, your voice suddenly turning strange and hoarse. 

The effect those sea foam eyes have on you is not fair. You feel naked now under them. You twisted yourself in so many ways for them, for them to keep looking at you like they used to. 

“And after the mission?” Bradley’s voice breaks whatever thoughts you had on Jake. 

You look down. Not wanting to answer because you wished that there wasn’t a timeline, that this could be suspended in the air, your eternal wish. 

Jake’s eyes linger with yours; he knows it already.

“She’ll have to choose after the mission,” he says softly. Already too aware of what was coming. 

“You’ll have to choose then after the mission,” Bradley agrees, lingering heat from the previous events from the night before still simmering in his chest, all that anger turning into harsher words. 

“If we don’t die first,” Jake replies. It’s barely a whisper, but all of you get it. 

If you come back. If all of you come back. That word always taunting you, now you couldn’t look at either of you anymore. 

“Let’s worry about not dying first. I want to shower now. Can you please go?” you say, avoiding their gaze. 

Jake’s the first to leave; you know his steps by now. You don’t need to see him; he doesn’t need to see you to know you’re both defeated. Bradley, though, lingers in the sun for a moment. He wants to say it almost involuntarily, always waiting for more information, always expecting you to confide in him. 

Now, you seem as cold as Ice was. 

“You know you’re making a choice here, right?” Bradley insists as he decides to leave; you raise your head to watch him. “Not choosing is a choice. Choices have consequences too, Brat.”

an: Honestly I am so thankful to anyone who is still reading this. I am so excited for the next few chapters we are only missing five and I really want to end this by the end of this month. thank you all for still keeping up with this I know I've been flaky and I am sorry! everything hasn't really been easy but your comments light up my days.

Taglist: @laracrofted @double-j @inky-sun @alanadetigy @teenwolf01 @beebslebobs @materialgirl01 @daisyhollyxox @piceous21 @elicheel @supernaturaldawning @midnightdevotion @hangrymama @ashann7 @maverick-wingman @snap-crackle-and-pop-blog @ebonyhogan24 @teddyluvs2sing @happypopcornprincess @untoldshortsofthefandoms @xxshea-barnesxx @sweetheart-im-the-boss @je-suis-prest-rachel @bregarc @imagineteller1 @abaker74 @lilylilyyyyyy @nemtodd-barnes1923 @loveless-simp @fucktthisworld @deliciouslydisturbed365 @laluneveillesesureux @emma8895eb @tandefeaffe @potato-girl99981 @jstarr86 @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @mirrorball-6 @grxcisxhy-wp @that-one-random-writer @dempy @zbeez-outlet @djs8891 @sgt-barnesveins

[disabled-dean]

Asterism of an F-Series Ford Pick Up- 17k

Now with BELOVED amv by @butch--dean 🖤

Summary: When you've been to hell, desire is isolating and ugly.

Or: Cas drives his truck for a case and Dean is exceptionally horny about it.

“Once on a hunt when he was a teenager, Dean had been caught too close to an explosive when it had gone off. There had been the moment when the projectile hit, and the moment when it had detonated. And just before it had, there had also been a moment when he had believed that maybe it wouldn’t.

He had thought about that moment for years, over and over again, until something else had taken its place. And the way that that moment was quiet, the way it was still- that is how this feels. To lie beside Cas in the bed of his truck, their shoulders barely touching.”

Follow @deancastruckwip for bonus content <3

Ten Minutes From Home [Lebanon Coda] WIP 48K

We've truly come a long way since the iconic:

"Physically restraining myself from writing a coda fic for Lebanon, where John stays over at the bunker, Cas comes home in the middle of the night & there's tension between him and Dean over whether or not they will still share a room, and then 29-year-old Mary has to sit through Thee most homophobic breakfast with her dead ex-husband, closeted son, and his common law married, ancient eldrich boyfriend."

This fic is a deep dive into some of the juicier elements of Lebanon, including- justice for Mary Winchester and her rich internal life, the intricate dance constructed around Dean's homosexuality and John's neglectful/abusive parenting and the impact of the Michael arc on Dean and Cas' relationship. Also features: recovering!alcoholic dean, a staggering amount of risky bunker sex, biblically accurate sibling interactions, and studies on objectification. Also Sam is practicing witchcraft as a treat, and I put that guy in eating disorder recovery (because he fucking needs it) <3

Haven't started posting this one! But you can follow @lebanon-wip for excerpts, inspo, and bonus content <3

An Easier Softer Way WIP 38k

Recovery!natural. Injured after the hell rescue goes wrong, Dean ends up disabled and living in a small rural town in Eastern Washington. With Sam fucked off to god knows where and without the fight to distract him, Dean has nothing left to focus on but his burgeoning sobriety, and persistent dreams of hell.

Set in the arid low-lands of the river valley, surrounded by apple orchards and twisting irrigation canals, Dean becomes convinced he can see a great beast stalking through the hills bordering the town. The same beast he has dreamt of since returning from hell, the same one he can sometimes feel beside him when he knows that he’s alone.

Walking the line between grief and reality, isolation and community, Dean has to pull together what's real and what isn't as he adjust to his disability, and finds faith that he is capable of building lasting relationships and creating a life for himself worth loving.

Also eventually Cas shows up, and they save the world.

He’s still debating just getting the fuck out of there when a women at the head of the long table clears her throat, and starts to read from a laminated print out. The edges of Dean’s vision blur out a little. He has to leave. He has to- the woman is still reading. Dean tunes back in in time to hear, “-At some of these we balked. We thought that we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not."  Here, the speaker pauses, and Dean feels like she looks right at him. But she doesn't. She just gives the laminated sheet a little shake, clears her throat and continues, "With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start.” And no one could ever call him a coward. So he stays.

Honestly the most plot I've ever worked with (and very deeply personal) so this one could be a while. @aneasiersofterway for inspo, vibes, and bonus content.

[coraline-jones353]

Campsite Love, Pt 1

Summary: On a family trip to a campsite, you romanticize having a campsite love story. But this time it ends up coming true.

Henry Hart X f!reader

Warnings: Cussing

Coraline speaking: heyy guys, I had a scenario like this play out in my head before bed last night because I'm gonna be at a campsite this weekend so enjoy my hopeful thinking lol.

Also I think imma make this a mini series of 4 because I don't want it to be just one long story. So if y'all would be interested in that then go to the next part --->

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 (still in the writing phase)

"Good morning!" My mom screams as she busts down my door at 7 am. Why do we have to leave so early, I think to myself as I turn away from the door as she throws open my black out curtains. "I'm up, I'm up." I say groaning and getting out of bed.

I walk into the bathroom and start to get ready for the day. After I've gotten dressed and what not I started double checking my bag for all the stuff I insist I need. I mentally do a checklist and decide I've got it all. After that I go help load everything up into the van. Then we have last minute bathroom time, grab any DVD's and snacks and get the hell in the car.

Since I'm the oldest under 18 I get the farthest back seat to myself so I can lay down and relax. I put my eye mask on, air pods in, and go back to sleep for a while.

I wake up with about an hour till we arrive at the campsite so I just play games on my phone and day dream. I start to let my mind wander to the what if's. Like what if I meet a cute guy and we actually hit it off. Maybe we'd go on a date and walk around at night together. Ooo or we could go to the playground and just swing for a bit, or maybe we can do the tye dye day and make matching clothes or make something for one another. There's just so many possibilities. And I think of them all as we pull into the campsite and to the cabin we will be staying in.

"Well this is our home for the next 4 days." My dad says as he starts to unload the van quickly since it's so hot outside. My mom said to unpack my stuff and just go have fun and maybe make some friends.

Worst idea ever I think to myself as I kick a rock down a path to the playground. I'm probably just gonna swing for a bit while listening to music and then just go back to the cabin. I hate making friends.

"Watch out!!" I hear three voices yell at me. I did indeed attempt to duck but I was not fast enough apparently. The basketball proceeded to hit my head as I scrunched up my face on impact.

"Ow" I groan rubbing my head and picking up the ball. I look up to hand it to the person that had the terrible shot and hit me. Just to see a teenager run up.

Gods was he hot. It felt like he was running in slow mow over to me.

Blonde hair, chocolatey brown eyes, chiseled jaw, and his shirt off. Holy shit I think he has a 6 pack.

"Hey, sorry about that my sister has bad aim." He apologizes as he seems to search me for further injuries. "Oh it's all good." I say still holding my head. Man I'm gonna need an ice pack later I think to myself.

"Is your head ok? We have ice packs I can give you from my cabin it's like maybe down the street from here." He says almost reading my mind. "Actually I will take you up on that because my head feels like it's throbbing and the ice will cool me down from this heat." I reply removing my hand from my head.

[alaydabug2]

I'm in the car and I'm bored en

SO HERES A LIST OF MY MEDICAL ISSUES IVE HAD THROUGHOUT LIFE 😃

Vaugly related to my fanfic

Tetrology of Fallot (tof): congenital (born with it) heart defect that is basically 4 defects in 1 (I do not have the energy to look up or type all those scientific words rn so sorry)

I've had 3 open heart surgeries to fix it o e at 8 days 10 months and 5 years

Died 6 times on the second one 😃

Ngl life isn't too different with it

If you don't count the yearly doctor visits and can't play contact sports

I mean there's more to it that that obviously but it's mainly small things like getting out of breath quicker and I bruise easy because of having to take baby asprin

BUT the doctors ORIGINALLY said I was never gonna be able to walk or talk or do anything for myself

God vetoed that decision 😌

NOW I NEVER SHUT UP 😁

Got a nifty battle scar down my chest as a souvenir ☺️

And I used to be called smurf baby cause I turned blue alot

I make jokes about it now (hush I'm allowed to )

Ngl pretty sure I'm short cause failure to thrive as a baby cause of that 😭

Don't think there's any scientific backing on that tho for tof patients

Imperferated anus + colostomy bag: basically means I was born without a butthole

Not even joking on that i wasnt

But had to have three gastrointestinal surgeries from that

Don't know the ages or many details but I'm pretty sure I was two for the last one

And I had to have a colostomy bag

Thankfully don't remember it

Buy my waste went into a bag that had to be changed out

Ik it got infected so the scar is bugger than it should be

Seizures: if you've read my fanfic that's explained in detail for how it feels

But that was from aged 5-10

We never found the specific reasons for it

But we do hypothesize it has something tk do with possible scar tissue on my brain

Either from a heart attack/stroke/lack of oxygen from my second heart surgery is what we think it could be from

During a seizure my heart would start beating weird (not good description ik but idk how to describe it really) and my vision would start to tunnel out my tongue would tingle and then I'd black out

During a seizure I couldn't hear anything or see anything but my head would completely start to tingle

From my parents I was told during them I would stiffen up and lock my joints and almost seem to hyperventilate

It was control moderately well by medicine but I thankfully do not have them anymore

Hard hearing: im not like deaf or anything nor do I use hearing aids but my hearing isn't what it should be for a normal teenager lol

This is because during one of my heart surgeries they gave me a drug used on horses and a little too much if it at that (ketamine?)

Legally blind: yeah come to find out last year found out my eye sight is actual crap

Without my glasses I am legally blind

I've got 20/200 vision 😭

So I've got these crazy thick glasses now

Tourretts: neurological disorder where I make these random noises and movents

Got diagnosed back in sixth grade

My tics ate ill make various sounding noises (all kinda of variations of a hiccup for visualization) and my head will jerk back

It was awful before we found out what it was

Got picked on for it quite a bit and a certain teacher of mine essentially told me "just stop bro lol" and I'd get sent out of class for it even after we had doctor notes for it

Just get up out of that wheel chair then then buddy ☺️

They'd get set off my certain things

Music being one of them so I would carry around these earbuds when there was music around so it didn't get set off

I'm on medicine now for it and it's a LOT better

And a recent development (in the past 6 months) I've been able to listen to music again!

The tourretts aren't going away tho

If over been without medicine for more than 2 days it's BAD

Ovarian cyst (possible pcos?) : this has happened over this summer so you already got some rants on that lol

Buy I've got an 8cm cyst on my left ovary

Hurts like a beach 😃

In fact this Friday I was holed up in my room hyped up on narcotics cause of it

Fun stuff 🙂

Surgery is supposed to be on October 5th so we'll see how that goes

Yeah so medical history of mine 😃

That's fine

We'll see what comes next to the collection I can add

Also here's some pics of a couple of my scars (that I can show several are in places I'm not keen of people seeing 😅)

That's my colostomy scar

And near the top you can see a scar from a chest tube from my third heart surgery

And here's a really good picture of my heart surgery scar that I have (goes down to under the ribcage)

On my neck you can see a breathing tube scar

At least I think that's what it is

Also the corner of my lip I have a scar from some sort of tube from surgery (can't see it well on camera

Tbh idk what half these tiny scars are from

I just know they're remnants of surgery

Any way I do know kw I have a couple of other chest tube scars

But they are not in places to be shown

Same with a few dimples near my tail bone from gastrointestinal surgery

But those are there too

[hotwaterandmilk]

I started writing this last week, then my tonsillitis floored me so @bunnymajo beat me with her own post on the topic (it's v. good, check it out!!), but I still wanted to share a few of my thoughts about why y'all should consider picking up the Discotek release of the Kaitou Saint Tail anime series on blu-ray.

I'll be honest, Kaitou Saint Tail wasn't my favourite magical girl series growing up in the mid-90s, I found myself far more drawn to Sailor Moon, Wedding Peach, and Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne (in that order). However, as I've grown older and re-watched the anime series a couple of times, I've grown to appreciate a lot about it that perhaps I didn't so much when I was young and had a million anime series vying for my attention.

The anime

If you've never seen the Kaitou Saint Tail anime, Haneoka Meimi is regular teenage student by day who rights wrongs by night as the thief Saint Tail. How does she know about what bad things have gone down in the local community? Why her BFF (Mimori Seira) is a nun-in-training, of course! So when Seira hears about things being stolen etc. she relays this information to Meimi so she can set things right.

Complicating the situation is Asuka Daiki, the son of a local detective who notably failed to catch a previous phantom thief (hmm!). Asuka Jr. wants to stop Saint Tail no matter what and luckily the local mayor is cool with giving him the status required to do so. Meimi slowly finds herself torn between how she feels about Asuka Jr. (whom she bickers with but ultimately cares about) and how Asuka Jr. feels about the thief Saint Tail.

So obviously if you like magical girl-type series and you're keen on a cute lil tween romance with some wacky kids' show thieving then you're going to be keen to watch (or read, the manga is adorable) the series no matter what. If you're on the fence, here are a couple of things I found to be stand-outs in Kaitou Saint Tail that you might like about it too.

Saint Tail = Seira & Meimi

Saint Tail the thief is really a team of two people. You've got Seira who gathers all the intel & helps plan, then you've got Meimi who acts as the muscle and executes the scheme. If you removed either of them you wouldn't have the legendary phantom thief everyone talks about in the series. Seira is never magical herself, she goes between God/Meimi/the community to help save "lost lambs" but her role is vital and Meimi's feats as Saint Tail are truly part of a team effort.

I've honestly always loved this about the series, that Seira isn't some friend kept in the dark nor is she another magical thief to team up with, she's got her own unique role to play that utilises her skills just as much as Meimi's role relies on her talents too. Together they are a phantom bigger than any one tween girl could ever be.

Meimi is physically adept

There's room for all types of magical girls in the genre imho and these days we've seen lots of magical girls who can land a solid punch as well as those better suited to intellectual challenges. However, in the mid-90s at a time when Tsukino Usagi and Hanasaki Momoko said it was OK to be clumsy and not great at athletics, Meimi said it was just as OK to be athletic and have excellent fine motor skills.

One thing I didn't note in my above summary of the series is that while Meimi does a whole lot of VISUALLY magical girl things like transform in the anime, she doesn't actually have any supernatural abilities. Meimi is instead adept at stage magic thanks to her father's profession and she plays a lot of tricks to get the job done (while following in her mother's footsteps as well). Meimi can't punch a bad guy through a wall like a Precure, but her strength allows her to frequently save other characters or pull herself out of tricky situations.

Asuka Jr. provides a great contrast

While Asuka Jr. can ride a bike pretty fast he's not that physically strong, which is a contrast to a lot of love interests in the genre who are tough enough to give the heroine enough time to finish the job (Tuxedo Kamen and Limone, for example). Asuka Jr. is more of an intellectual who despite managing to figure out a lot of what's going on with Saint Tail's capers, can never seem to get pin her down (and yeah yeah we know Meimi looks like Saint Tail but this is a cartoon for kids, being in on that while Asuka Jr. goes mad trying to find Saint Tail is part of the overall charm of the thing imho).

I think a decent chunk of what I like about Asuka Jr. as a male lead in Kaitou Saint Tail is that he's not some older, mysterious guy who helps solve problems; Asuka Jr. is a brat who causes most of Meimi's problems and because of his clueless youth he's also quite oblivious to her burgeoning romantic feelings for him. But I love that? They both feel like they're young kids challenging each other on an equal playing field.

While Asuka. Jr doesn't necessarily disagree with Saint Tail's objectives (to right wrongs), he doesn't support her methods (stealing is baaaaaad) and he's following his own moral code which is perhaps a little more conventional than hers. Meimi and Asuka jr. certainly bicker, but they have a lot in common that becomes apparent over time and their differences do indeed prove to be complementary to each other's in the long run.

The stakes are fairly low

Wait, isn't this a bad thing? Shouldn't the stakes be super high in order for us to care about the series? No, I don't think every magical girl series needs to have high stakes to leave an impact or be meaningful. I love that Kaitou Saint Tail isn't about a potentially world-ending event or magical abilities that could change reality as we know it. Heck, there's an episode where the entire goal of Saint Tail's elaborate scheme is to get back a notebook that a classmate gave to her crush accidentally before he can read it.

In that sense, it harkens back to a lot of older majokko shows that, while having some supernatural gifts for the heroine that Meimi doesn't technically have, still chose to focus on the lead solving personal problems or issues in the local community rather than fighting to save the planet.

This isn't to say there are no stakes at all or anything. Meimi's greatest problem lies in her diverging identities and the fact that, as ostensibly a criminal to those not helped by her talents, Saint Tail being unmasked would ruin her life. I know they're not huge stakes compared to galactic evils, but Saint Tail being an outlaw and the way the persona is both a blessing & curse to Meimi certainly is present throughout the series.

Kaitou Saint Tail's stakes might not be as high as those in Nurse Angel Ririka SOS, Tokyo Mew Mew, or any number of Precure seasons, but there's definitely a place for that in the genre and if you'd like something a little more laid back (that's still plenty of fun & with twists and turns a plenty, mind you) then this series might be worth checking out.

The anime doesn't overstay its welcome

The Kaitou Saint Tail anime is a fairly tight production that deftly balances fun filler (remember when we were allowed to have filler eps???) with more emotional story touch points and doesn't feel at all drawn out, which was certainly an issue even for some of my favourite series of the period. While I wouldn't say the anime is perfect or anything, it really doesn't have any majorly weak arcs or huge dips in quality overall.

Kaitou Saint Tail has lovely music (I'm partial to the first OP/ED combo myself), some great 90s animators at work (Abe Junko, Ishino Satoshi, Kadonosono Megumi & Gotou Keiji, Watanabe Nobuhiro, Ochi Kazuhiro, Motohashi Hideyuki, etc.), and a cast of talented seiyuu (Sakurai Tomo as Meimi and Inoue Kikuko as Seira being the stand outs).

While there are some changes to the source material and a lot of the cute, whispy beauty of Tachikawa Megumi's original artwork is lost on screen, the animated version of Kaitou Saint Tail is worth picking up not just to support the release of magical girl titles in the US market, but because it is a solid little series that I know I always appreciate spending some time with.

Anyway those are my rambling thoughts on the series. It won't be for everyone, but if you're interested in magical girl classics then you might want to check out the upcoming US release from Discotek on blu-ray.

[xx-j4nu5-c4t5-xx]

Alright the poll was up for like two hours and five of you wanted the Tybalt dream have fun

I might need to put content warnings in here? There's a few mentions of death and blood but nothing in like excessively graphic detail. I'll put them in anyway just for good measure but know that they're not that bad.

TW: Mentions of blood and death

Y'all ready for this?

Okay, so I'm in my high school (again, for some reason)(I'm actually me this time, btw) and it's actively flooding via the fountain in the courtyard. Everyone's panicking. Pope Francis is there for some reason but he only shows up once and doesn't do anything so whatever. I run out of the side of the building that's further underwater (because apparently my school is lopsided as hell in this dream) and start bailing out the floodwater with a bucket. Really efficient.

I hear a voice yell something like "hey!" or whatever so I turn around and. Tybalt Capp. From the hit 2004 game Sims 2 for PC. Great.

Instead of asking me what's going on like I expected him to (because he was just running around panicking like everyone else a second ago) he just says, "Whose blood is that?"

At some point in the ordeal, I had scraped my leg or something. It was bad enough to be bleeding, but it wasn't really bad enough to be important. We had bigger fish to fry, at the time.

I try to explain what's going on and before I can even start he just snaps and starts shouting shit like, "YOU KILLED HER!"

And, naturally, I respond by going "TYBALT WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT" and trying to explain again.

But he won't stop screaming. "YOU KILLED HER!" "YOU KILLED THAT LITTLE GIRL!" I'm begging him to stop, begging him to tell me who the little girl is, but he's fucking insane. He isn't screaming like it's some news story he heard about, he's screaming like he's been fucking hunting me down for vengeance for the last ten years. Hell, he's screaming like the girl is right there in my arms or something.

(Quick aside here, if I might: Does Tybalt even have any lore relevant little girls in his life? I've never played Veronaville and it's been a hot minute since I read the original play so I'm not really sure. He's Juliet's cousin, I think, but she's definitely a teenager in both versions. Not really the type I'd refer to as a little girl. Who the hell is he even talking about???)

Anyway, I don't really know why but I got a little crazy myself and freaked the fuck out. Frustration from being talked over and survival instinct willed me to just start grabbing things and throwing them at him. I snatched an apple out of the blood-streaked floodwaters and flung it at his head so hard it made this diabolical CRACK! as it hit him square in the eye. Even in the dream I was taken aback, like jesus christ dude what was that for he didn't really deserve a concussion for freaking out good god almighty what's worng with me

Eventually we were running down a stairwell, and either he was chasing me or I was chasing him. It makes more sense if I'm chasing him, because he was in front of me on the stairs, but idk. What was I chasing him for? Whatever. He reaches the landing and just... stops. Right there. Dead in his tracks.

Mind you, we were CHASING each other. Throwing ourselves around the corners and practically jumping down the steps two or three at a time. And all of a sudden, he hits the bottom and freezes. I catch up to him and what's he looking at?

There's a body in the stairwell.

An entire human skeleton. It looks like it's been there for years. Shit's practically fossilized; I thought it was a Halloween decoration. But he's just staring at it, wide eyed, like he's trying to identify who it is. Who it was. There's still sounds of rushing water and screaming above us. The water's going to bust the doors and come crashing down on us any second.

But he won't move. Neither will I.

I turn to face him, and he's absolutely stunned. Mouth agape, eyes wide, still locked on the skeleton. He was so gobsmacked it woke me up.

Here's an artistic recreation. I woke up with this image frozen in my mind.

Why do I always leave these dream worlds worse than I found them? I possessed some guy and made him have a sexuality crisis last time and now I've fucking traumatized Tybalt Capp what is happening to me

Anyway uh if anyone knows how to make that shit stop happening or at least make it nicer when my little guys show up in my dreams can you tell me? I don't know if I'm gonna handle it well if next time one of the ones I really like shows up and I'm forced to break their legs or something horrific like that

[pilot-doodles]

HELLO! I was tagged in this "Get to Know me" thing. wazzup. thanks, @alyxtried

Last Song - Blood Upon the Snow- Hozier, Bear McCreary

The song fits some of my OCs super well, I keep putting that song on in the car and get really lost in it. It's one of those songs that if given the right time to sit and listen, will give me full body chills. today was one of those days!

Currently Watching - Star Wars Rebels (Season 2)

I can't shut up about Star Wars ever and because I am fun and love live My favorite animated series is Rebels. I wanted to show it to my roommate. Every time I re-watch it I notice more and more. I'm also watching Ashoka so It is nice to see the parallels. and GOD i love Hera Syndulla so much.

Currently Reading - Burning Chrome- William Gibson

Reading is SUUUUPER hard for me for some reason, so I find myself picking up and putting books down often. I rarely get so engrossed in a book that I finish it, but that's why Burning Chrome works for me. it's a scify anthology/short story comp that I can pick up and put away whenever I want. the few books I strongly recommend are Piranesi and the Winternight Trilogy!

Current Obsession - (Still) Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Baldur's gate 3

before I go back on my Star Wars bullshit, I'm still playing BG3 with my beloved bard, Viv. I don't have as much free time as I did a while back but I still want to finish the story.

Favourite Colour - Red

it's been my favorite since I was a kid! I don't have a single explanation for it but it's always my favorite. I use it a lot in character design. I am also a fan of a good gold and black. the combo of red, dark navy and gold will always make me go insane. (in a good way)

Favourite Candy - Gummies

who has ONE favorite candy? what? I love gummies, hard candy, dark chocolate, anything with lemon- the more I think of it I don't think there's anything I actively dislike! except circus peanuts and candy corn but I think I'm allergic to them.

Favourite Game of All Time - Final Fantasy Crisis Core

I don't know who knows but I have a tattoo of the buster sword (Zacks OG CC version). it's on my left forearm. the tattoo artist I got was amazing, too. Crisis Core was extremely formative for me and had formulated some of the ideals I hold today.

Current Pets - Tadashi (gray longhair cat) and Acorn (Society Finch)

My boy tadashi was a shelter cat who probably would have died if I hadn't gotten him when I did. He came to me with a life threatening respiratory infection and ringworm, fleas, kennel rashes, etc. He's all fixed up now and living his best life as a spoiled, fat housecat. he's a bit standoffish to people, but really loves being with people. I also live with my sister's two cats, madeline and Olive.

Thanks for the tag, If someone wants to do it, go for it! I would love to hear about the vast beautiful worlds you got going on! (trying not to tag irl friends) Theres a lot of you active mutuals, so if I missed you and you wanna do it, I have spiritualy tagged you.

@magicalzombiegirl @ramroadrage @sternenhimmel-mond @thatoneperson1967 @astro-b-o-y-d @jesterrlavorre @phobosapollo @nionbell

[gontagokuhara]

teary rambling inbound

christ alive its not often i reckon with the fact that jump (the first fic of my “modern” writing era) is approaching seven (7!!!!!) years old. when i do think about it it’s often in a nostalgic way or a half-proud, half-self-deprecating way where i’m like “this was my peak when i was 17, god DAMN have i improved” because as much love as i hold for it and what it ended up as, it’s still nowhere near perfect! there’s so much i would do differently with my slightly more developed brain!!

but i get comments still on a more or less weekly basis almost 7 years after publishing, over 6 years since i last touched it. little ‘i just read this in one sitting!’ and ‘this brought me back into enjoying deh again’ and ‘i usually get bored during long fics but i wanted to finish this!’ that i have saved in their own special portion of my inbox specifically for jump comments because they all make my day every single time.

and then sometimes i get comments like these, all these years later, and i pump the breaks and just think.

unless i’m particularly out of touch this is like. the type of comments fic writers dream of. thoughtful, personal, crafted with a level of care that highlights how genuinely an author (even of just ‘silly’ musical fanfic) can move a person.

someone who never writes reviews was compelled to detail how deeply they’ve been impacted by *my* writing. something i crafted as a labor of love while i was still a teenager struggling through that same shit i was writing about had enough of a positive effect on someone that it spurred them to put as much into writing themselves, unsure if i’d ever even see it. this person walked away from something i created with the exact takeaways i hoped they would, and i very sincerely hope that whatever realizations this person had while reading, they take them and make their lives better because there’s nothing more i could possibly ask for.

jump, as much as a bit of an ugly duckling i think of it as sometimes, is like…a net good on the world. so many of my current best friends i met because i wrote jump. more than one person has embraced recovery and getting better and stepping into the sun (hah!), and that’s just people who have told me that — some of the mostly deeply influential fics in my life are ones i’ve never commented on myself. more people than i can ever hope to comprehend have had their day, week, month, life outlook altered in a positive way by something i created — by me.

in a period of life (not just my own, but more broadly speaking How Life Is in the present day, 2024) where things are pretty shitty and i’m agonizing more than ever over feeling useless and impactless and like i’ll never create anything of true value. sometimes i wake up to comments like these, and i slow my roll, and i can…genuinely appreciate that at the very least, despite everything else sucking pretty bad, people have made their own happiness through something i’ve created. i’ve made something of value, and even if i never know the impacts of that…those people are out there. if i could do it at 17 years, and still hear the positive influence of doing so 7 years later, i can do it again. i want to do it again. writing is making my happiness, and knowing that that could be true of other people makes it a happiness worth pursuing.

all of that to say: thank you, if you’ve ever read my silly stories before. if they’ve done something positive in your life, even for just a second, that means more to me than anything. and especially thank you to my more vocal readers because quite literally it’s people like the above comment, and people who i’m sure are reading this and know exactly who they are, who make me love writing as much as i do and make me want to do it forever, no matter the capacity.

i suppose i should wrap up now before my weepiness makes everyones tl all damp. thank you again, persephonescurse (even if you’ll never see this). your comment now also forever lives in the original jump discord server from 2017, so i won’t be forgetting it anytime soon. thank you.