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weaselbeaselpants · 3 years

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Weird week behind me weird week ahead of me but I’ve done a lot of self reflection and came to the weirdest epiphany. The older I get the more I realize all my ‘problems’ with VivziePop - her thoughts on criticism; the choices she makes in story telling; some of the people she’s worked with (not that any of that’s my business; I’m not her mom) really aren’t about Viv, but more about her fandom.

I’m speaking of the preHazbin era Viv here and as someone who’s only watch horny fish jump at the surface rather than jump straight into the Hazbin-fandom, but given my ‘noncritical’ fellow fans have told me that the Vivziefandom now is also terrible - I guess I’ll go over my experience and make the most out of what I do know.

I followed Viv in 2009 and fell off in 2013 cause I kinda just lost interest and found myself wrapped up in other fandoms. I’ve always felt amicable about her content; I could give or take designs or the way in which she wrote characters -- ((Zech represent!!!)) but it’s honestly surreal and really fun seeing this person I recognize make it big and improve so much. Like I’ve said before I am very happy and very impressed with Viv doing all she’s done in the span of TWO YEARS. wow gurl.

Trouble is, there was the particular breed of fan who really made me...uncomfortable. They felt almost possessive of Viv’s attention. They sang praises about her work in a way that just made me want nothing to do with it because I was worried if I drew those characters these people would be like ‘hey, I’M Viv’s fav artist, not you!”. They would unironically write Viv messages like:

“you are a GOD” -- “I’m so not worthy compared to you” --“I wish I was as talented as you” -- “YOU ARE EVERYTHING AND CAN’T DO WRONG VIV”.

The kind of messages which were meant to sound flattering but, intentional or not, came off as gaslighting, like they were guilt tripping Viv about being better than them. This behavior, treating your favorite artist/internet personality like your superior and groveling like Starscream, it strikes a nerve with me; partly because I was this way with my favorite artists and influences back in the day, but also because once I got a taste of that treatment myself I realized just how bad it could be:

There was once a girl on dA who was jealous of me because of the attention I got on my art instead of her. I told her that I wasn’t gonna stop drawing but also that there was nothing wrong with her art and she’d find her place. It was weird being put in that position where someone is very clearly upset at you but also looking for your approval.

The second was some scumball who I blocked in 2016. He wouldn’t speak to me, only write condescending, backhanded comments on my art; check on my profile daily; call me a bootlicker (cuz I took commissions) behind my back; redrew my art and would talk about me in his personal artist notes about how I ‘probably wouldn’t see this’ - oh yeah all the while he did fan art of my characters but again never spoke to me when I replied. When I finally messaged him about his behavior he said he thought I was “really overrated” and “bad for the fandom” cuz I took money and kept him from getting the love he deserved. It took messaging another person within our fandom, one I had been in spats with online before, to finally realize I shouldn't put up with that bs....

That guy who was stalking me btw did so while I was well under 1.K watchers and am still pretty obscure. Anyway, I had one guy unhealthily watching me for the wrong reasons. Just one. This is why when Viv says she “hates creeps” I 150% believe this woman and am not about to call her a liar who just can’t take criticism. Like, if you really think that, I’m sorry but you don’t know what Viv’s gone through from both her critics AND fans.

Of course, a lot of people will be like “I bet you’re just jealous and really just want that kind of attention yourself so you’re preaching to the choir”, but like...no. I am envious of just about any creator who’s the social butterfly I’m not, but, like, if I'm jealous of an artist none of that is that artists’ fault. Ever. It’s my own issues with being comfortable with myself are at stake. If I criticize Viv’s work it’s not because I see her as competition or my Squilliam Fancyson; it’s because I’m a critical fan of animation and cartoons and have my own thoughts to share on the cartoons of an artist I’m familiar with. Jealousy/envy/mixed-admiration/godIwishthatwereme.jpeg feels are totally natural and valid emotions when you’re a creator. Envy becomes a problem when you internalize, weaponize, and scrutinize people on the basis of them being what you aren’t which -yes - some people do in the name of criticism. ((Although, I would hardly say some of the nastiest AntiViv folk are jealous as much as they are angry that this project they think is harmful is getting attention and using that as justification for some really shitty behavior of their own, which no, this post is not a part of by virtue of coming from a critical fan.))

Critique can come from either a good place or bad place; good critique can be used to bad ends and bad critique can come from a well-meaning place, and vice versa. It’s the difference between many a criticalfan having a sour taste in their mouth regarding the Viv’s base but persisting in a critique+admiration separate of that, and this asswipemonster trying to weasel his way into Spindlehorse while also bashing Viv on a public forum for clearly vitriolic reasons. He was a creep.

So yeah um please stop insisting that every Hazbin critic is just jealous’ because a) there are people who have a past with Viv’s base and that clouds their judgement, but in a lot of cases that doesn’t invalidate their feelings or thoughts on her work separate from that, and b) I’ve seen what clingy gaslighting jealous fans are. Spoiler: they’re not so much Annie Wilkes as much as they are Tommy Wiseaus. You don’t want Tommy Wiseau following you.

Another bad vibe I really picked up on that I can kinda confirm is still probably the case now: people think that they know Viv and the Spindlehorse crew and have the right to send them shit they don’t need or WANT to be seeing.

Like, I talked with Viv once ages ago. I don’t remember what I said other than we were talking about Frankenweenie, I think. She was nice. Outside of that she said “thank you” to my comments on her deviations but that’s it. I DO NOT KNOW THIS WOMAN AND unless you’ve worked with or are a legit friend/mutual of hers, NEITHER DO YOU. But I don’t think every Vivzie stan/critic knows this. Whether it be people assuming she MUST think they’re headcanon is now canon-canon cuz she liked a comment they made; or some critic thinking they must have seriously hurt her pride because they’ve been blocked by her on twitter (or you know, maybe she and the rest of Spindlehorse is tired of getting @s and don’t have to time to read through your analysis so they’re gonna just block and move on cuz they’re busy).

Just because the creators talk with fans doesn’t mean fans are literally their best friends and have a part in the show’s direction. And yes, critics and reviewers fit that bill as well. Know your damn boundaries people.

If you find/make some kind of contribution as a viewer that’s awesome but you should never expect nor DEMAND the creator see it. The most obvious horror stories involving this and Helluva/Hazbin have been the Instagrams made by the crew being harassed by incestpedo enthusiasts, but it applies even to just @ing creators as well.

I’ve seriously had someone tell me to just take my criticisms directly to Viv and like...no. Why would I do that?

I respect Viv and the artists working with her enough to know that they’re working their asses off on an animated series and should not be bothered. I don’t want them to stop all they’re doing and reply to me. I want them to keep working. Also, that kind of logic makes me wonder how many critics Viv’s found because she found it on her own or if some obsessed fan told her about it - which is really messed up cuz if it IS just good critique you’re, again, just pestering her, and if it wasn’t critique but full on harassment WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU MESSAGE HER ABOUT THAT ANYWAY? I’m sure she doesn’t need to be reminded that people drew and said really awful shit about her on Tapatalk. My point being I’m sure what people think they’re doing is

“OOOoh Viv lookitwut this person is doing in our fandom we need to ban together against this toxic behavior”

but what they’re actually doing, and sounding like, is -

“Hey Viv I know you are working so hard on the show and you’re trying to figure out where to go from here but LOOKITWHUTTHISHATERSAID. LOOKATIT! VALIDATE ME VIV AND PUT’EM IN THEIR PLAAAAAACE!”

TL;DR Viv’s fanbase back in the day consisted of everyman artists and interests but there was this one breed of fan -who I hope was just a vocal minority- that ruined it for everything else.

Call it stanning or ‘simping’ or as it’s classically known, ‘white knighting’, whatever it was it really soured a lot of people on her because of those fans.

That’s why the DollCreep drama got so bad from what I can tell. Doll and Viv had a falling out and then called out eachother online where people who took it upon themselves to speak for them starting throwing mud.

Back in the day I remember Viv used to get mad at artists for ‘stealing’ her style. I think this attitude from Viv directly has vanished but I remember it happening because one of the people she thought was stealing her style did art for me at some point and they were basically shamed/chased off deviantART by a gaggle of these really nasty Vivfans.

inb4> “VIV WAS AWARE AND STILL WEAPONIZES HER FANS THO”

I don’t know that. And honestly, where I’m inclined to believe she’d do something like that then I think Viv is really different and has improved her business and public image from her college days. I’d be very disappointed in her if she was pulling a Butch Hartman or Derek Savage, but I just don’t think she is one, k?

Viv is more self critical and aware than any of these uber protective-gatekeeping fans give her credit for. She said on the Pizzapartypodcast that she knows the Hazbin pilot wasn’t perfect; she’s been able to identify the problems with old Zoophobia; this woman knows that criticism of all kinds need to exist and from what I see she sounds like she’s trying to get used to that. It’s just, you know, when you have nasty antis badgering you, stalkers, obsessive yes-mam’ fans, opinionated shit posters, r34 artists, entitled shippers and the NDAs of a company alongside your own branded image - all that negativity, even the constructive bits, tend to clump together and you just want to scream at it so you can finish the damn cartoon already!!!!

TL;DR: PART TWO

VivziePop/mind is basically indie Tim Burton. Her work is fun, shallow and made with love but is marketed as being for everyone when it’s really not. Parts of it I love to watch; parts of it drives me crazy cuz of reasonswhatev this isn’t a review.

BUT any fanbase where people tell me I should just “expect what’s coming to me” when I’m trying to argue against dragging creators into fandrama is troubling. People have a parasocial bond with fandoms and their creators and they need to learn when to back off.

#vivziepop critical #hazbin hotel critical #helluva boss critical #critical fandom #I'm sorry to all the people I messaged n bothered over the past year bout my stupid thoughts #tw: stalker

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ace-trainer-risu · 3 years

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oh here! i’ll come ask you for book recs lol. do you have any spooky and/or autumn-y book recs? or just your fave books :)

First of all, I'm sorry this took me SO long to answer. I want to say I've been busy but it's just been general [waves hand vaguely] life.

ANYWAY thank you for asking! I actually don't read scary stuff a lot b/c I'm a wimp, but I have a few spooky/autumnal books up my sleeves! Let's see what we've got!!

1) The Little Stranger by Sarah Waters

Let me just start by saying that Sarah Waters is one of my absolute favorite authors ever! All her novels are suspenseful, twisty historical novels with great female and queer characters. Although, fair warning, actually The Little Stranger is like her one novel that isn't queer, but it is VERY good. If you read The Little Stranger and like it, please read Fingersmith and/or The Paying Guests.

The Little Stranger is set in the countryside of post-WWII England and follows a mild-mannered doctor as he becomes increasingly involved in the lives of the family living in the local, increasingly decrepit, possibly haunted mansion. Think Downton Abbey but creepy. Strange things keep happening inside the house, from dog bites to mysterious sounds to creepy black spots. Literally just typing that gave me goosebumps. It seems like someone may be out to get the family, but who...or what? Is it simply the ghosts of their own painful memories, or is something more? Sarah Waters is excellent at lush, intricate historical detail, and she leans into that here to create an atmosphere of slowly building dread and horror and mystery.

That being said, as a person who isn't normally a fan of horror, I don't think this book is too scary. It's more of an atmospheric, psychological horror than a jump-scare, bloody horror. It's not a book that will give you nightmares (probably), but you might lie awake thinking about it.

Also. Pro-tip. As a haunted(?) house story, the house is obviously fairly central to the story. Dear fellow Americans, keep in mind that the British refer to the floors of a building differently than us. For Americans, the ground-level floor is called the first floor, the floor above that the second floor, etc. For the British, the ground-level floor is the ground floor, and the floor above that is the first floor, etc. There's all sorts of creepy references to characters hearing noises above them on the first floor, but I was just like, Why are they always in the basement?

2) Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno Garcia

This and the above are two very different books, and yet they are both set in the mid-1900s and both are about weird, creepy, maybe-haunted houses. What can I say, I like gothic fiction.

After our heroine, Noemi, receives a bizarre, borderline incoherent letter from her beloved cousin, she sets out to visit her in the literally decaying mansion she resides in with her husband and his new family deep in the countryside of Mexico. All Noemi wants to do is persuade her cousin to come back home with her, but her cousin's new in-laws are very determined not to let that happen...or to let Noemi leave either. Secrets abound in the bizarre house and even creepier nearby cemetery, and soon Noemi finds that she too is suffering from bizarre dreams and visions...although, are they just dreams?

This book is so weird, but in such a good way? I read it for a book club and every week we had increasingly bizarre theories about what was going on, we were googling alchemy and fungi and St George, and some of our theories were even right. Although definitely not all. Another very twisty one that keeps you guessing.

In terms of scariness, interestingly I think there's more overtly creepy and horrifying moments in this novel than The Little Stranger, but I found TLS more overall scary? But that may be because I read it quickly, which I think is the ideal setting for suspenseful stuff, and I read Mexican Gothic over a longer amount of time since it was for a book club. This one does have some more typical horror elements to it, but I don't think it's more creepy than terrifying.

3) The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey

I listened to this one as an audiobook and the audiobook is excellent so would recommend that, but have no doubt it would also be great to physically read.

Oh my god this book...it's more thriller than horror, but I think it fits the brief. There were multiple moments listening to this book that I literally gasped or said "OH MY GOD!" out loud, and there are moments which are very creepy and horrifying. There's a particular scene in the backyard... Again, incredibly suspenseful and twisty. And the character development and character psychology is just! really really good! There's also really interesting and knotty feminist stuff which is a lot more complicated and nasty than some of the "girlboss" stuff which is popular right now.

Super minimal summary: All you really need to know is that it is a sci fi novel about a scientific researcher trying to pick up her life after her marriage has imploded, only for everything to go BATSHIT WRONG. Trust me, that's all you need to know, it's better to go into this not knowing what's going to happen or what to expect. I had no clue what this novel was about when I started it, and holy shit. Very good book, absolutely recommend this if you want some super suspenseful, creepy sci fi that will make you say "oh my GOD" repeatedly.

Okay, shifting gears a little now b/c autumn isn't just spooky, it's also cozy and restful and daydreamy!

4) The Thinking Woman's Guide to Real Magic by Emily Croy Barker

This isn't maybe a cozy book per se, but it's a great book to cuddle down with on a dreary day and lose yourself in. If you've ever asked yourself, "What would it be like if you crossed Pride and Prejudice with Howl's Moving Castle except the wizard was way worse but somehow still sexy" - then you should read this book! I actually came across this book b/c I was like, I wanna read a book that's a portal fantasy but for adults, and this book was like OH here's everything you wanted.

It's about a grad student, Nora, who has totally stalled out on her dissertation and is at a shitty wedding when she accidentally wanders through a portal into a beautiful, fantastical fairy world. At first, everything is amazing and literally perfect...but surprise surprise, not all as is it seems, and soon everything goes to, how should I put it, shit. Nora escapes, but rather than returning home, she finds herself trapped in a far more dreary realm. But not one without it's own charms and it's own magic, and Nora finds herself the student-slash-sorta-captive of the crochety, sexy, maybe-killed-his-wife magician Aruendiel* and she begins to learn magic herself.

Unlike the above books, this is not a fast-paced, twisty book, and I think if you go into this expecting high fantasy along the lines of Game of Thrones, you may be disappointed. It's not really a typical high-fantasy novel, it's more of a cross of an 18th/19th century realist novel, a fairy tale, and a fantasy novel. But if you want that, then it's REALLY good! I loved this book! And the magic in it is so cool, something about the way its described feels so visceral and real and like you could really do it if you just tried hard enough. There is a romance and it's totally, intentionally hashtag problematic, but it's very laid back, very slow burn, so I think even if you aren't a person who digs romance you can still enjoy this. If you're looking for a feminist-leaning fantasy novel that you can just sink into and lose yourself in, this is the perfect book. You will long to magically fix broken plates.

5) The Ruthless Lady's Guide to Wizardry by C.M. Waggoner

Honestly I can't even justify why I think this one is an autumn book. It simply is. It's autumn colored in my head. It is the coziest book I have ever read about necromancy and crime. Also I just want to recommend it. This is another one that I listened to as an audiobook and it's also a good audiobook, for those who are interested. But it also means I will not be able to spell absolutely any of the character's names.

This novel follows Delly, an enterprising young scoundrel of a fire witch with a teeny tiny gin habit as she attempts to support herself and her hot-mess of a mom in the roughest neighborhoods of Fantasy-City-That-I-Can't-Remember-The-Name-Of. Lice...gate? When Delly comes across an advertisement for a bodyguarding job for young women for a hefty fee, it seems like the answer to definitely not all but at least some of her problems. She accepts, along with an interesting assortment of other sorcerous young ladies, including a wonderfully bitchy Absentia (my love), a young woman who can turn into a boar, boar girl's necromancer mother, and the very sexy part-troll Winn, who in my imagination looks like Gwendoline Christie and talks like Miranda Hart. Which. Perfect woman. Winn being a fine, wealthy young lady, Delly can't help but think to herself that it wouldn't be such a bad thing if Winn happened to fall in love with her and carried her off to be rich and spoiled the rest of her life.

Of course, things quickly don't go to plan, and soon Delly and her companions find herself caught up in wicked schemes of murder, drugs, and an undead mouse named Buttons who says BONG. I love Buttons SO MUCH.

This book is just a silly romp of a novel which worms into your heart and your brain. It's fun and cute and gay, and also it made me cry. I haven't stopped thinking, "Not quite regulation hammerball" since I listened to it like half a year ago.

Also, while I'm here, this novel is set in the same world as and features a few of the same characters as Unnatural Magic. Which is also a hell of a book. Literally the best bisexual relationship I have ever fuckin read. It's a winter book tho, so I simply can't go into it here.

Aaaaand...that it's! Happy autumnal reading :)

#things you didn't care to know about veronica #book recs #disastershy #i'm sorry it took me so long to answer! it's just been burning in my inbox for weeks and only today #did i have the courage and strength of will to get to it!#jk i just felt like doing it now :)#thanks if you read the whole thing!!!!!

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karls-writing-space · 3 years

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I decided to share my Total Drama OC with yall!

(This will have to be in two parts lol. Stupid word limit)

I hope ya like him!!

—☆—☆—☆—☆—☆—☆—☆—☆—☆—☆—

═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗

╔══════════════╗

❝Buongiorno! Good morning!❞

╚══════════════╝

♫♪.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.♫♪

『 BASIC INFO 』

➵ Full Name

Beau Romano

Nicknames

• B

• Eau (Pronounced as "O")

• Beau-Beau (Used by friends and family.)

• Freckles (Again, called this by friends and family. )

• Captain Dickless (By his sister as a joke. Beau hasn't got bottom surgery just yet, so he's called this. Wouldn't mind being called this by others as a joke.)

➵ Age

Sixteen or Seventeen [16-17]

➵ Assigned Sex

Female

➵ Gender Identity

Transgender Male

➵ Pronouns

He/Him/His

➵ Sexuality

Bisexual [With a preference for men]

➵Ethnicity

Canadian-Italian

➵Place of Birth

Morden, Manitoba

『 Appearance 』

➵ Outfits

➵ Casual Attire -

➵ Formal Attire

➵ Sleepwear -

➵ Swimwear -

➵ Height

5'7

➵ Weight

146 Pounds

『 Personality

Beau comes off as a quiet and introverted young man when you first encounter him. He isn't a huge fan of large groups of people and personally prefers to be with a small group, or his friends. Beau won't speak much at first and will listen to others speak and not speak unless spoken to.

If you have regular conversations with him, he'll slowly open up to you. He'll still maintain his introverted personality, but he will come off as a sweet, caring guy. He likes to joke around a little and make others smile. In fact, he likes seeing others happy. It makes him happy too. Beau is a fairly level-headed and calm guy for the most part. He doesn't raise his voice or yell too often since he fears that it would drive people away from him or it would create conflict.

He's quite the observant fellow and tends to take mental notes on what the people around him like, dislike, what bothers them, what they enjoy -- all that sha-bang.

Around his friends, he will treat them like he's known them forever. He'll treat them like a family, and will respect them. Beau will be a little more outgoing towards his friend group and engage in what they're doing.

Playing video games? He's down? Just chatting? He'll happily listen and join in on the conversations.

He playfully teases his friends here and there, and maybe pulls a few light-hearted pranks on them. It's all in good fun, and after he has his fill, he will ask if that person he teased/pranked is alright. He will be expecting revenge of some sort too, and will half-heartedly accept said revenge.

This boy has a tendency to slip into speaking Italian when speaking every once in a while. One minute, he could be happily talking about this great book series he has read in English before slipping into Italian without realizing it for a hot minute.

It's something he can laugh about, and it doesn't really bother him.

Beau does have a wide range of creativity and loves to express his ideas however he can. Usually, it's in the form of writing something - from a dribble to a full-blown short story. If someone is interested in hearing his ideas, Beau will happily begin to talk about the ideas he has.

He would then apologize for rambling, or "talking someone's ear off." He is really good at taking advice and constructive criticism and will use it to improve.

He will also happily hear if someone wants to add on to his idea(s).

Beau can also create stories or tales on the spot if he's given a setting/location. Ideas pop in his head here and there like this, and he can go into detail with these stories, given if he likes these ideas that are in his head.

Because he can make up stories on the spot with little details like location/setting, and characters, he is able to lie. He will use whatever knowledge he has on the situation he would lie about, or ask others what they know about a certain situation, and come up with a lie.

Some of these lies aren't the best, and some can be somewhat strong. It depends on how much knowledge he has on a situation and how he could form it into a lie.

If he lies to someone he doesn't like, or could care less about, Beau won't feel guilty about lying to them and go on with his day.

If he lies to a friend, someone he cares about, or his love interest, Beau will feel pretty guilty about lying to them, and might consider actually telling the truth.

He absolutely despises his friends getting harassed, invalidated, or bothered by something that they can't control or that they didn't have any part of. When this happens, Beau will get irritated or angry, and speak up.

When he is angered or irritated, and it isn't because of his friends getting harrassed/invalidated/etc, Beau will lash out at others around him. He will drop sarcastic remarks in Italian and act like an asshole.

It's best to leave him alone when he's like this and let him be alone in his thoughts. Once he's calm, he will apologize to those who he had lashed out at, except for the person who angered/irritated him.

Romance-wise, Beau will try to act the same around his love interest. He does become pretty happy and smiley when he is around them.

He will throw a few flirty lines or actions towards them, but if they flirt back, he will be a blushy. flustered mess. He makes sure that it doesn't interfere with the competition or make either of the two slow down their teams.

He doesn't want his love interest to get booted home.

➵ Likes

• Reading

• Writing

• The LGBTQ Community

•Personal space

• Reading up on/learning about famous serial killers

• Striking up a friendship or two

• Scary stories/stories with elements of horror

• Amusement parks

• Passing as a Cis Man

• Cuddles

• Joking around [At an appropriate time.]

• Talking about his writing/ideas

➵Dislikes

• Homophobes/Transphobes

• People who attack/harass/etc minorities, those with mental illnesses, or people/things that aren't considered "normal"

• Thunderstorms [It's a fear of his.]

• Overly-gushy romantic stories

• Being involved in an argument/fight

• Those who don't respect personal space.

• Crabs [They're really weird to him. He isn't a big fan of them either.]

• Being addressed with female formalities/in a way women are addressed. [Beau is a man, not a woman.]

➵Interests

• Reading

• Writing

• Learning about famous serial killers

➵ Fears

• Thunderstorms

• Losing the people in his life.

➵ Strengths

•Beau is talented in writing. It's something he loves and takes pride in.

•Beau is loyal to his friends.

•He's a creative guy - idea-wise and author-wise

➵ Weaknesses

•He's an introvert, and doesn't like talking/interacting with other people, unless they are the ones to interact contact him first or he's close to them.

• Poor boy has a fear of thunderstorms.

• He can be manipulated by those he is close with or those he has an alliance with.

➵ Physical Disorder(s)

N/A

➵ Mental/Psychological Disorder(s)

Gender Dysphoria

『 Relationships 』

➵ Family

Mother ➵ Camila Romano [ Alive, Registered Nurse Assisstant]

Father ➵ Lovino Romano [Alive, University Psychology Professor]

Older Sister ➵ Faye Romano [Alive, High School Student]

Younger Brother ➵ Luca Romano [Alive, Middle School Student]

Younger Sister ➵ Sienna Romano [Alive, Middle School Student]

➵ Friends

TDI/TDA/TDWT -

• Duncan

• Alejandro

•Gwen

• DJ

• Geoff

• Owen

• Tyler

• Leshawna

ROTI -

• Zoey

• Mike

• Lightning

• Cameron

TDPI -

• Topher

• Jasmine

• Sammy/Samey

• Sky

• Shawn

➵ Enemies [All Seasons]

• Ezekiel [Rather one-sided on Beau's side.]

• Izzy

• Blaineley

• Jo

• Staci

• Sierra

• Scott

• Dave

• Max

• Sugar

• Amy

• Leonard

➵ Neutral/Peers

• Everyone else [All Seasons]

• Chris [He doesn't really have an opinion on Chris.]

• Chef Hatchet [He also doesn't have an opinion on Chef either.]

➵ Love Interest

TDI/TDA-

• Duncan

•DJ

TDWT -

•Alejandro

•Duncan

TDROTI -

•Mike (+ his alters)

•Lightning

TDAS -

•Alejandro

•Mike

TDPI -

• Topher

• Shawn

➵ Placing(s)

TDI - Fifth Place

TDA - Seventh Place

TDWT -Fourth Place

TDROTI - Fifth Place

TDAS - Fourth Place

TDPI - Fifth Place

#td oc #total drama oc #tdpi oc #tda #tdi #tdpi #beau romano

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mimik-u · 4 years

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“Change Your Mind” Re-watch:

I’ve been dealing with this feeling on and off ever since I started “Diamond Days” earlier this week, but dang, I’m a little sad that I’ve reached the end of the show again. Of course, I’m excited to visit the movie again and see Future for the first time (!!!), but this episode above all really marks the end of an era. But things end and things change.

That’s the thesis of this episode anyway. And really, the nature of this beautiful show. :’)

Steven’s dream sequence is so haunting, both in terms of it explicitly showing us how Blue Diamond is currently recapitulating the very same cycles which pushed Pink away by showing us such a similar flashback from the past, but also by dredging up the horror of Pink’s memories. The idea that Steven’s gem still has access to some of his mother’s memories is used to its most visceral effect here, in which we get a nightmare heightened lens of how miserable she was, and often times, scared.

When the Diamonds stretched out their grieving hands through the cosmos and towards the world their youngest member loved, how did Rose feel to at once get a confirmation that she had been loved? Loved so powerfully that the Diamonds would try to destroy an entire planet to exact their revenge, and yet, at the same time, loved so terribly that they would never think twice about doing so, or that it took this for them to ever show it?

“This... isn’t normal. How many times did you lock her in here? How many times did you make her cry?” / “I didn’t... I... And I’m doing it again, aren’t I?” God, this exchange always undoes me. Not only is it Steven calling Blue out, but in a way, it’s him standing up for his mother, realizing what misery the Diamonds put her through and putting a name on it for Blue to recognize, contend with, and finally, accept. Blue tries to defend herself at first, but then, in the end, can’t. Because there’s no defense. There’s no excuse. And to horribly mangle a quote from Legend of Korra, by reaching that lowest point, Blue Diamond finally becomes open to the possibility of change.

It’s always so evocative to me that she collapses next to the tower window that’s at her eye level. Never explicitly stated, I think it really is implied here that Yellow and Blue have seen their fair share of this tower before, too, their trespasses of decorum excised out of them by White. In return, they tried to do the same to Pink. Cycles and cycles and cycles.

Gsleidjsneioeis, it never fails to make me laugh that Yellow is just sitting in the darkness, straddling her throne, waiting for Blue. Emo ass. I love her.

The Diamonds both look so shocked when Blue slaps Yellow’s hand away, as though neither of them can fathom, process, and believe what just happened. And yet, really, this is the climax to the schism between them that we’ve known since “That Will Be All.” They love each other—they loved Pink—but they have differed, fundamentally, on how to grapple with the pain of loving someone and losing her and existing from then on.

“When we thought Pink was shattered, when she abandoned us, I alone was there for you, and you would use your power against ME?” GO OFF, PATTI LUPONE EIEOSJSA. But this line gets me, too. Jesus. Yellow loves Blue so much.

“Didn’t we hurt Pink? She was suffering in silence for ages, just like our gems, just like me. And I know you’re suffering in silence, too.” HHHHHHH, AND THIS LINE. I think it’s significant because it’s Blue making a move we’ve rarely seen from her before—empathy. Her whole complex is that she’s been so lost in her own emotions that she forces them on everyone else, but here she does something monumental; not only does she acknowledge her own pain, but she uses it to recognize that others have been hurting, too. She and Yellow hurt Pink. (She makes herself and Yellow the agents of the action, therefore not evading the blame.) And so many of their gems have been hurt, too. Yellow has been hurting.

In her vulnerable expression that follows, it’s clear to the audience that Yellow knows her fellow Diamond’s words to be true, but she’s not ready to accept their veracity, to look inwards at the heart of her own misery. Also, help. I’m only 9 minutes into the episode.

“Does this look perfect to you?” And Yellow’s anger is stopped in its tracks. She looks immediately to Blue, literally smoking on the ground from the force of her attack. A fragment of palace crumbles emptily away. And this is the crux of the Homeworld Empire. It demands every gem, from the Diamonds downward, to sacrifice in the name of of perfection. But they’ve placed too much of an emphasis on appearance, numbers, quantity, and power, never interrogating the consequences that pursuing these ‘impressive’ entities bring: misery, hopelessness, despair.

“Stop... stop it, Blue. Stop using your power on me.” / “I’m not.” Hhhhhhhhh, I’m tender. And then, when Blue Diamond sweeps over to hold Yellow’s head?????? This is what being a Bellow Diamond fan is all about, okay rieososossnjaaj.

“You’ve made a grave mistake. Go to your rooms!” / “Uh, which rooms should we go to?” GJKHDFVHJNJJ. But yeah, White has definitely used the tower on Blue and Yellow b4.

Bismuuuuth, Lapis, Peri!!! God, I love Lapis’s outfit so much.

“Yellow and I will keep White distracted.” / Just go! Go! Hurry! She’s getting up!” Blue and Yellow know that in making this choice, they’ll face severe consequences, but still initially make the choice anyway.

And yet, Steven doesn’t let them make that choice. He doesn’t run away. Because he and this show fundamentally believe that change is effected through communication.

I still have thirty minutes of this episode left to go oskeodjsnsnsk, but now I need to symbolically talk about the Diamond mecha. It’s very on point that White’s ship can’t function if the other parts aren’t cooperating!!

The Diamonds finally expressing their vulnerabilities to the blankly staring ship is just so sad. They’re finally doing the emotional work that they’ve been neglecting for thousands upon thousands of years, and they’re almost literally meeting a wall.

“We Diamonds might be hard, but we’re also brittle.” / “I know my purpose isn’t to be happy.” Hhhhhhhhhh, these lines. The rigidity of the Diamond Authority has forced Yellow and Blue to become hard, to be unhappy. They, like all their gems, are suffering beneath the strain. Starting from the way it literally drains a planet of resources, this empire was never sustainable.

Cries bc the Diamonds are holding hands, AND THEN CRIES BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN VIOLENTLY AND PAINFULLY PUPPETEERED.

THE FUSING MONTAGE!!! EKSSKSJ, I love how when he goes to fuse with Pearl, he does a few ballerina moves. AND I LOVE HOW 2.0 IS UNREPENTANTLY BRITISH. IT’S SO FJNNY AND RIGHT.

“AH! Steven, we fused!” She’s so happy!!!!!!!!!! Hhhh!!!!!

“I’m here. I love you.” Steven says this before fusing with Garnet, and there’s nothing else that could have ever been so fitting for a fusion who prides herself on being here and being made, so beautifully and entirely, of love.

Sunstone always looks and sounds like they’re two seconds away from breaking the 4th wall on a Sunny D commercial from the 1990s, and that’s amazing.

OBSIDIAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN. Everything about them is FUCKING EPIC. (Also, if you haven’t listened to the S5 soundtrack yet, you need to go listen to Obsidian’s track without background noises!!!!!!! It’s so motivating! I listen to it when I’m studying sometimes!)

I’m still soft about Bismuth giving Connie her own sword. Let them b sword buddies 2k20.

BIG FYCKING LAVA SWORD!!!!

The animation on this episode is absolutely insane. God, the Crewniverse did so good.

“Poor Yellow. Her impurities absorb all the blue in her light. She’s so strong, but so weak when it comes to Blue.” 😭😭😭 What do you mean I’m still emotional over the fact that Yellow Diamond’s one perceived weakness is Blue? Hahahaha.

“Ah, and Blue. Her impurities soak up all the warmth in her spectrum. She thinks she needs you, Pink.” 😭😭😭 She needs Pink to be warm.

“But you’re a part of me, the part I always have to repress.” White doesn’t yet realize it, but this is actually her revealing her own flaw. Not only does she repress her love for Pink, but she represses her own sense of pinkness, too. So cerebral and so detached, she’s allowed herself to exist for these past 6,000+ years in the gaping maw without Pink as a being who has subjugated the entirety of her emotional expression. Just as Blue and Yellow are equals and opposites, so too, were Pink and White.

“Insecure, dependent, obsessed.” God. Another thing about White Diamond’s powers in relation to Pink is that White has the capacity to know a gem’s thoughts once she possesses them, whereas Pink was able to relate and empathize with their emotions. And indeed, that’s how Steven came to know and help the Gems’ problems over the course of the entirety of this show—through empathy, relation, compassion, and understandings, concepts so foreign to White Diamond. Simply alien.

POV: You’re Connie Maheswaran, and you have to fight a possessed bastardization of the Gem who once lovingly taught you everything you know about how to wield a sword.

White Diamond so simply and so precisely plucking Steven’s gem out of his stomach is the single most terrifying visual on this show. Jfc.

“SHE’S GONE.” The animus of the Pink Diamond gem prmordially screams the truth that White Diamond refuses to accept. Pink is gone. There’s no undoing death. There’s no separation from gem and body. There is only, just as there has always been for fourteen years, Steven.

He is not, and never will he ever be, his mother.

Oh, my God. This show.

And just as White Diamond parting Steven from his gem is the scariest moment in the show, Steven reuniting with him is the most transcendent. He laughs. He hugs himself. He dances. Because Steven Universe is entirely his own being.

And he loves himself. That is the crucial part. That is the beginning and the end and the resolution. Oh, my GOD. This show.

“I am a child. What’s your excuse?” KWIDIDOSJSKSKSISOSMA, GET HER.

Steven walking over to comfort Pink Pearl, even though he doesn’t know her, even though the only iteration he has seen of her has been her lobotomized version—forbidding and detached—is so tender.

WISOSJSJS, I know this is emotionally deep and indicative of just how ingrained their psychological complexes are that they don’t know how to deal with vulnerable expressions of emotion, but White, Yellow, and Blue being so dramatic about White blushing is honestly hilarious.

Sadie singing “Let Me Drive My Van into Your Heart” is so good, but what’s even better is that two second shot of Greg blushing listening to his song being sung. ;-;

Oh! Oh! And Barb is in the audience! Character development! Growth!

“No more hiding! No more running! No more Diamond Authority!” KWOWOEJDKDOSJSJSISSJSJ.

Lion padding up to Lars in a silent recognition that they’re the same ;-;-;-;

I think Sadie and Lars reuniting with such drastically different appearances and mindsets is simply just one of the coolest ways this show has come full circle. This show’s about everyone changing. Look at these two. Look at where they started, and now, where they’ve begun again.

Genuinely crying at the last few shots of the show again. Oh, my GOD. The pure, unmitigated joy. Nephrite and Steven. Bismuth and Biggs. Garnet and Pearl. Jasper and Amethyst. The Diamonds.

This show really is about love and forgiveness and healing, y’all. 😭😭😭😭

AND THEN THEY COMPLETE THE SHOT FROM THE INTRO. I AM UNWELL. IT’S 8AM.

This show, in every sense of the word, is a miracle.

Thank you, Crewniverse for this comet of epic proportions.

#steven universe #blue diamond #yellow diamond #bellow diamond #white diamond #pink diamond #garnet #Pearl #amethyst #connie maheswaran #s: steven universe #mimiku #long post #I am EMOTIONAL

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rafecameron · 3 years

Text

roommates

request: The guys all went to college and Luke meets his roommate Julie instant attraction but neither want to mess up there room situation but one week it changes and Luke gets sick with the flu and Julie takes care of him, and while bed ridden truths are admitted about falling for each other and they get together please

pairing: luke patterson x julie molina

word count: 9.7k

a/n: my first time writing for juke and this got long...hope you enjoy! also requests are currently closed!

Luke was sure he had never felt excitement quite like this before. Sure he got excited when playing a gig or basically every time he practiced, but this was different. Picking up a guitar was bouncy adrenalin and electricity, this was like vibrating with hope and pride. He had done it, he had gotten into college - something most people thought wasn’t possible. Now he was free and independent, he could do whatever he wanted, he was practically an adult. He pinballed down the hallway, leaving his friends at their rooms and hurriedly searching for his own. He was sure even a bad roommate wouldn’t be able to dampen his spirits. He stops in front of room 205, double checking on the paper he had been given and once certain this was his room he placed the key in the lock and entered his new home for the first time.

His face was taken over with a frown, one of amusement more than annoyance, the sight in the room as not as he had expected. He had anticipated two beds, a couple desks, a wardrobe, maybe a roommate unpacking his stuff. The furniture was as expected, but both beds were littered with clothes and possessions, a suitcase laying open and half unpacked on one.

“Oh my god!” A female voice interrupts his assessment of the room, “I was hoping you wouldn’t be here yet.” She chews on her lower lip as she looks around at the mess she had made, “I swear I’m not usually this messy, I just packed a lot of stuff...A lot of stuff.” She repeated herself more quietly as she looks from the mess and back up to the cute boy in the doorway.

“It’s cool.” Luke finally shrugs, the mess suddenly forgotten as his struggles to pull his eyes away from the girl in front of him, “I’m Luke, by the way.” He holds out a hand and she surges forward to take it in hers.

“Julie.” She smiles, she had the kind of smile that was contagious, it caught onto Luke instantly and his face lit up, her hand felt soft in his own and he almost didn’t want to let go.

“Here.” The girl - Julie - quickly grabs her clothes off the second bed, throwing them into her opened suitcase, “I already chose a bed, I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” Luke says as he places his bags down onto the bed which was to be his, “Are you sure there’s room to put all that.” He chuckles watching her cram jumpers into an already full drawer.

“Not at all.” Julie huffs, hands on her hips as she turns around, blowing a piece of hair out of her face, “But I gotta make it fit.”

Luke chuckles and turns to his own bag, unzipping it and starting to pull out his things. Lucky for the girl he hadn’t brought much stuff, he knew he wouldn’t need much room so offered some of his storage space to her, which she was more than happy to accept. Luke had never imagined he would be sharing rooms with a girl, not that he minded at all - in a completely non creepy way. Julie seemed cool and energetic like himself, he was already certain they would get along like a house on fire and couldn’t wait to introduce her to his friends. It also didn’t hurt that she was one of if not the most gorgeous girl he had ever laid eyes on, he wouldn’t make a move due to the room situation but it wouldn’t hurt anyone for him to admire her from afar.

They spent their time unpacking getting to know each other. He found out that she was in the music program like himself, and that she also enjoyed horror movies, karaoke and onion rings. He was sure this girl couldn’t get anymore perfect if she tried and he thanked the heavens that they had placed him in a room with her.

“So are you here alone?” Julie asks, taking a seat cross legged in the middle of her bed once all her belongings were in their new homes, “I came here with my best friend, she’s down the hall. She’s pretty bummed that we didn’t get to share but at least this way we get to meet new people.” She shrugs.

“That’s cool, I came with my friends too.” He falls back onto his bed, leaning against the headboard and kicking his legs out in front of him, “They’re also down the hall.” He points in the opposite direction to the way she had, “Two of them are sharing somehow, Alex and I got split up but like you said, it’s the perfect opportunity to meet new people.”

“I love my best friend but I think if we shared a room it would be a disaster. You saw how many clothes I have, she has double that, maybe even triple!” She laughs, “She’s a style icon.” she adds using her friends own words.

“So there’s basically two of you?” Luke chuckles, “I’m excited to meet her, if she’s anything like you she’ll be great.”

“Wow, we’ve only just met and you’re already over there with the flattery!” Julie teases, “But really, I’m excited to meet your friends too, they sound great. I mean, Reggie sounds a little...odd, but still great.” She chuckles, “Oh! We should plan a night to hang out before lessons start! Like go for a meal or have a movie night or something.”

“Actually that’s a great idea!” Luke agrees sitting up, “I’m gonna go see how they’re settling in, I’ll pitch the idea and see when you want to do it.” He jumps off the bed and heads to the door.

“I best go see what Flynn’s up to before she yells at me for not coming to hang out quick enough.” Julie rolls her eyes but the smile on her face shows fondness.

The pair say their goodbyes and walk opposite ways down the hallway. Luke knocks on the door which he had left Reggie and Bobby at, happy to see that Alex was already sitting inside on the edge of one of their beds.

“Hey guys, how's the rooms? How’s the roomie, Alex?” He asks, helping himself to one of the cans of drink on Bobby’s side table.

Alex’s grin reaches from ear to ear, “I have the best roommate ever and I think I’m in love.” Alex replies with a content sigh.

“I do not want to hear this story again.” Bobby shakes his head and takes the can from Luke’s hand, taking a sip as he shoots his fellow guitarist a glare, “How’s your roommate?”

“Sorry to tell you this dude, but I think I have the best roommate,” He chuckles, “Not only is she gorgeous, but she’s seriously so cool. She sings and plays piano and we’re into all the same stuff.”

“Woah wait!” Reggie launches himself up from where he had been laying across his bed, “You’re rooming with a girl?!”

Luke chuckles at his friend's shocked expression, “Yeah man! Apparently they do that here! She didn’t even seem surprised she was sharing it with a guy.”

“I’m gonna go see if it’s too late to switch!” He makes a mad dash towards the door and Bobby grabs a hold of the back of his shirt.

“Don’t even think about it.” he pushes his friend back into the room, “Besides, with your luck you’ll probably end up with the worst roommate ever. A star wars fan or something.”

“There is nothing wrong with star wars!” Reggie defends with a pout, “You’re just too sour to admit you like it.”

Bobby rolls his eyes, an amused smile on his face, “If that’s what helps you sleep at night man.” He shakes his head and plops down into the chair at his desk, “So, what’s on the agenda?”

“Well actually, me and Julie were thinking we could all hang out, her friends here too.” Luke bounces on his heels as he relays the plan.

“Oooh, Julie!” Reggie grins sitting back down on his bed.

Luke picks up the nearest item, a toothbrush, and throws it at his friend, laughing as it bounces off the side of his head.

“Hey! That wasn’t very - Oh, I was looking for this! Thanks!” He smiles at the object and places it on his bedside table.

Alex and Luke share a look as Bobby lets out a groan, “Maybe I will let him switch rooms.”

“Anyway,” Luke drags out the word and bounces into the room, “We were thinking we could go out for food or something, before lessons start. You guys will seriously love her.”

“I think you love her.” Alex comments, a knowing smile on his face as Luke leans over to whack him across the back of the head.

“I only just met her!” He complains.

“Yeah, but you love her.” Reggie joins in.

Further down the hallway Julie is being subjected to the same levels of teasing from the girl she calls her best friend.

“Okay so wait, tell me again.” Flynn demands as she paces in front of her friend who was perched on the edge of her bed.

“I’m not telling you again!” Julie laughs, “Do you want to hang out with them or not.”

Flynn shoots her a glare before stopping her pacing and smiling, “Okay, fine. But only so I can see if this guy is good enough for you.”

Julie rolls her eyes, “That is not the only reason! Beside’s, it doesn’t matter anyway. Even if you are right, which I’m not saying you are!” She adds as Flynn grins wider at her, “It’s not like anything could happen. We share a room, could you imagine that in a break up? That’s too much to risk.”

Flynn sighs, she knows her friend is right, but that doesn’t mean she won't continue teasing her about her ‘super cute roommate’ forever. As soon as Julie had reached her friend's room she had started gushing about how cute he was, how much alike her he was and how much she couldn’t wait for her friend to meet him. Flynn knew when her friend had a crush, and boy did this girl have a crush on Luke. Even if she wouldn’t admit to it.

“So tomorrow night?” Julie confirms as she hovers in her friend's doorway.

“Yes! Now go, flirt, have fun.” Flynn shoos her from her room, poking her head out the door to watch her friend walk away, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” She calls, slamming the door before she could reply.

Julie whips around, mouth open ready to shout back when she hears the slam of the door. She just smiles to herself and shakes her head, hating how well Flynn could read her. So maybe she did have a little crush on Luke, but she was sure it was just because he was cute. Once they got to know each other properly and became friends it would fade away into nothing. Besides that, she meant it when she told Flynn it could never happen. There was too much to risk. And would a cute boy like Luke like her back? Not a chance. She entered her new room, humming to herself as she thought about a messy head of hair, surprised to see sed head of hair back on his bed.

“Oh, I didn’t think you’d be back.” she comments as she shuts the door behind herself.

“Is that a problem?” Luke asks, looking up from the notebook in front of him with a slight smirk.

“No problem,” Julie shakes her head, “Flynn is down to meet up. We were thinking tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow works fine for me and the guys.” Luke agrees, scribbling something else in his book before closing it and tucking it under his pillow.

“Songs?” Julie asks and Luke nods his head.

“No snooping!” He warns her with a pointed finger and a chuckle.

Julie holds up her hands as she walks around her bed, “Wasn’t thinking about it.” She defends herself.

They spend the rest of the night talking, about anything they can think of. Homelife, Julie talks about her mum, her dad and her little brother, throwing in little bits about her aunt. Luke tells her about his rocky relationship with his parents, something he doesn’t usually like to talk about. Julie just felt like someone he could confide in. Like she would understand without ever judging. They talked about music, what they liked to listen to, what they liked to play. Luke couldn’t help but smile and feel a little sad when Julie spoke about how she used to write songs with her mum. She promised to play him one sometime if he showed her one of his which he instantly agreed to.

By the time they stopped talking and called it a night it was well past a normal bedtime hour. Luke was certain he’d never talked to someone that much when he had just met them. He went to sleep that night feeling like the luckiest guy around. The next couple years were going to be some of the best of his life.

Luke spent the next day in his room finishing up some songs he had been working on before the trip up to college. Julie had gone to help Flynn unpack - apparently the girl was struggling to find places to store her masses of clothes and shoes. The girl returned in the afternoon to find Luke in the exact same spot she had left him in at lunchtime.

“Have you not moved once?” Julie laughs, hanging her jacket up on the back of the door.

“Uh, not really.” Luke replies. He looks up from his writing, watching the girl tie her hair into a quick ponytail at the back of her head before sitting down at her desk.

“Well you best make a move now, we’re meeting for dinner in an hour.” Julie informs him, emptying her makeup bag onto the desk and pulling her small mirror closer for her to see.

“Yeah, it wont take me long to get ready.” Luke replies, dragging his eyes away from the girl and back to his book, “I’ve almost finished this last bit.”

Julie hums in reply, tilting her head back as she applied a fresh coat of mascara to her lashes. Once Luke had finished scribbling - planning on revisiting it the next day to make any edits with a fresh head - he looked up and watched Julie getting ready. He was mesmerized by her, sitting at her desk, humming along to a tune in her head as she applied make up and finally brushed out her hair with her fingers.

“You know, all this time you’ve sat watching me you could have been ready by now.” She turns to him, a smug smirk appearing on her lips as he looks away quickly, a pink blush rushing to his cheeks.

“I wasn’t watching you, I was just,” He thought for a second before chuckling, “Watching you.” He admits.

“I know, I could see you in my mirror,” She teases, “Learning how to apply eyeshadows?”

“Something like that.” Luke grins, the blush insistent on staying on his face as he climbs off of his bed to finally get changed and ready.

After he was ready - after Julie complaining the whole time about how long it was taking when he promised he would be quick - they made their way out into the hallway to meet their friends. Introductions were quick and conversation was instantly flowing as they made their way out of the building and towards their chosen restaurant. Alex had invited along his roommate Willie who he was already infatuated with. Willie already seemed to notice that Alex was into him and seemed to return the feelings, joking around with each other on the walk like they were in their own little bubble.

Luke couldn’t have been more happy for his friends. Alex who was anxious about this whole thing, worrying about who he would be rooming with and if they would be okay with him being gay, seemed pretty happy with his new set up. Bobby and Reggie were bickering as usual, the playful arguing between the two nothing out of the ordinary. Luke walked at the back of the group with Julie and Flynn, listening to the two girls - mostly Flynn - chatting away.

He already felt perfectly at home, more comfortable in his surroundings than he had felt in a long time. He hadn’t been worried about his old friends getting along with his new one, but he was still grateful that there was no awkwardness. It felt like they were already well onto their way in being their own little family and it sparked a warmness inside Luke which he hadn’t imagined. They boys had been his main family for a long time now and he was excited to invite more people into that circle. Luke wasn’t usually a quiet person, but he was enjoying taking a step back for once watching his friends goofing around.

Once inside the restaurant Luke placed himself between Reggie and Bobby, half to stop the arguing for an hour or two and half because Julie had sat herself on the opposite side right in front of him.

“Are we getting starters? Please tell me we’re getting starters.” Reggie grabs up a menu the minute he hits his seat, opening it up and scanning the options.

“We can get starters.” Luke laughs, picking up two menus and handing one over to Julie.

After everyone had ordered and drinks had arrived the conversation soon turned to music, a usual topic for him and his friends. Flynn was telling them all about Double Trouble, which Julie kept reminding her was not their band name. And Reggie jumped straight in to tell everyone about Sunset Curve.

“Do you think we should scout the area? See where we can get gigs?” Bobby suggests.

“Definitely!” Flynn beams, “I’m a good manager, I’ll get us all gigs.” She throws her hair over her shoulder as she talks, a proud look on her face, “I booked all our gigs back home.”

“Queen of marketing.” Julie agrees pointing a thumb over to her friend.

The conversations flow through the whole meal, never a quiet moment even when they were all stuffing their faces. It was amazing how a group of people could all be so different yet so similar at the same time. Luke had to wonder if they had met under different circumstances if they would all still be friends, he liked to think they would.

After dinner they walked to the ice cream parlour down the street and then made their way around the small town looking for bars and venues. Flynn was typing away notes on her phone about each place they stopped to examine, searching for phone numbers and emails she could use to book them gigs. As the evening wore on the group slowly began splitting up, Willie and Alex going off so Willie could show him some skating tricks as promised.

“Bobby and I were thinking we should go bowling! There’s an alley the other side of town that looks good.” Reggie explains.

“Bowling?” Luke pulls a face, “I hate bowling.”

“You hate bowling?” Flynn exclaims, “Why don’t you like fun? I’m in, I’m going to thrash both of you.” She points to the boys, “Julie?”

“I’m good.” Julie laughs, “You go have fun, and you better win!”

“Oh, I will.” She smirks before hurrying off with the guys leaving just the two of them behind.

“You hate bowling?” Julie asks him.

“Yeah, it's so boring!” He complains, “You throw a ball, knock over some pins, then sit for ten minutes waiting for another go. No thanks.”

Julie laughs and shakes her head, “Flynn’s right, you don’t like fun.”

“Hey I like fun, okay!” Luke defends himself, “That’s just not fun, unless you’re five or Reggie.”

“Whatever,” Julie shrugs, “So what should we do for the rest of the evening?”

Luke thinks for a moment before turning to her with a smile, “We could show each other those songs we promised?”

“Okay!” Julie beams, “But you’re going first.”

She walks off ahead of him back to their dorms, throwing a smile over her shoulder as he follows on behind. Inside their room Julie pulls out her keyboard and sets it on the desk ready to perform, sitting in her chair and waiting impatiently as Luke tunes his guitar.

“C’mon!” She moans, “It sounds fine, just play something!”

“It sounds fine?” Luke laughs, “It’s so out of tune! Do you even play guitar?”

“No, but I know what one sounds like.” She rolls her eyes.

Luke finishes up tuning it, opening his notebook onto one of the new songs he had been writing, “Okay, this isn’t planned to be an acoustic song and I haven’t really worked out a solid melody yet, but I think I can make it work. It’s called Bright.”

Julie nods her head, crossing one leg over the other and resting her hands on her knees as he began to play a few chords. He played through the song, making up the melody for the lyrics as he went along and making mental notes of the bits he liked. He didn’t look up while singing because he was nervous. Luke Patterson was actually nervous about performing for the first time in his life. But then again, he had never performed to just one pretty girl before who was also a musician, he felt more vulnerable than he ever had before. Like he was laying his soul bare for her to see and judge. It was an exhilarating feeling, he loved it no matter how anxious he was feeling.

He looked up slowly as he strummed the last chord, Julie was staring at him, a smile on her lips. She found that watching him was one of the best things she had seen, she loved when someone got lost in the music they were playing and Luke did just that. His voice was unique, not quite how she expected him to sound but she loved it, it sent tingles through her body and made butterflies erupt in her stomach.

“That was,” She breathes out, trying to think of a word good enough to explain how she felt, “I don’t even have words. That was amazing. Your voice is beautiful and those lyrics, wow, Luke that song is seriously amazing.”

Luke beams at her, the nervousness in his system being stamped out by her compliments and replaced with elation. He places his guitar at the side of his bed and brings his legs up to sit cross legged on his comforter.

“Thanks! Like I said, it’s just rough at the moment.” He rubs the back of his neck, not being able to find the words to express how he felt about her complimenting him.

“Well if that was rough you’re making me feel really bad about mine.” She half jokes.

“Oh come on, I bet yours is amazing, let me hear it!” He places his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands, smiling over at her in anticipation.

“Okay,” She stretches her arms in front of her, nodding her head once, “I’m kind of cheating, this is one my mum wrote for me, but it’s one of my favourites. Remember that song I said I found on the piano after she…” She trails off and Luke nods his head to show he remembered, “Well this is it. It’s called Wake Up.”

Luke grins as she turns to her keyboard, a little sad that he wouldn’t get to watch her face as she sang. Her fingers touched the keys and the room was filled with the sweet sound of her playing, soon accompanied by her voice. Luke was instantly taken aback by the sheer power this girl had inside of her. He could tell she was feeling every word that left her lips, her head tilted back at points as she let the music wash over her. He almost didn’t notice when she had finished, too lost in his trance to realise she had turned to face him.

“Well?” She asks, lower lip between her teeth, a little nervous that he had yet to say anything.

“Wow.” Was all he managed out in a breathy voice.

Julie blushes and lowers her head, a soft laugh leaving her lips. Luke pulls himself together and sits up again, shaking off the feeling of floating and situating himself back in the moment, “Julie, that was incredible!” He jumps off his bed, arms and hands emphasising his emotions, “That was...I can’t even describe it! You have a talent, a real talent, I’ve never heard someone sing like that. It was...mesmerising.”

“Stop!” Julie turns and buries her face in her hands, shoulders shaking a little as she giggled, “Stop, you’re making me flustered!”

“I won't stop!” Luke bounces towards her, “You need to know how insanely talented you are. I’m gonna tell you every day for the rest of your life.”

“We’re gonna be friends for the rest of our lives?” She teases, trying to change the topic of conversation.

“Well I hope so.” Luke says as he sits back down again, “I’d be pretty sad if we weren't. I’m gonna be there when you take over the world with your voice.”

Julie laughs again, moving to sit on her bed facing Luke, “Well I’d be happy to have you there. You can open for me.”

Luke knows that was meant to tease him but he just smiled and nodded, “It would be an honour.”

“Alright, okay, enough of the flattery! If you carry on, my head might get to the same size as yours.” She laughs.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Luke looks at her feigning shock.

“Oh c’mon, Mr ‘Sunset Curve are the best band on the planet’, and Sir ‘I’m the best rockstar this world will ever know.’” She raises her brows at him.

Luke looks at her for a moment, a genuine smile on his face before he holds his hands up, “Okay, I may have said that.” he agrees.

“May have? You said that like a half hour ago!” Julie throws a pillow at him before pulling her legs up under herself.

“Alright! But someone has to praise me; it may as well be myself.” He grins, throwing the pillow back over to her.

She leans over, picking the tv remote off her bedside table and chucks it over to him, “You choose the movie, I’m going to put joggers on.” She hops off the bed, picking up some comfy clothes on her way to the bathroom.

Luke quickly gets changed himself and lays back on his bed, flicking through the movies on netflix for something to watch. He goes straight to the horror section, skimming over the selection before landing on Dead Silence.

“Ever seen this one?” He asks, pointing the remote at the tv as Julie walks back into the room.

“Is that a puppet?” She frowns.

“It’s a ventriloquist doll.” Luke rolls his eyes, “See the mouth?”

“Sounds creepy, put it on.” She throws her clothes into her hamper and crawls under her covers, pulling them up to her chin ready to watch the movie.

“Is that so you can hide quickly?” He teases at how she was tucked away.

“Shut up and play the damn movie.” she glares over at him playfully.

Luke chuckles and hits play, his eyes moving between the screen and the girl throughout the movie.

The following months were extremely busy for the group of friends. Between balancing school, homework, hang outs and practice it was hard for any of them to find time to themselves. It was exhausting and Luke was looking forward to the weeks off of school that came with the winter break. He hadn’t planned on going home over the holidays, perfectly fine with staying by himself in the halls. His rocky relationship with his parents had only worsened while he was away, neither of them liking the fact that he was studying music instead of something ‘useful’ as they put it.

As the last classes of the year rolled around Luke was finding it increasingly hard to stay focused. He had never been good at school even if it was a subject he liked. He found it hard to stay focused on one thing, especially if it wasn’t something of his choosing like the current lessons. He couldn’t comprehend why he needed to learn about classical music in order to be a rockstar. Sure, he appreciated the art form, he enjoyed any sorts of music. But that didn’t mean he wanted to study it nor write a thesis on the matter.

It also didn’t help that he couldn’t get a certain dark haired girl out of his mind. The hopes of his little crush on Julie fading as time went on were futile, his infatuation with the girl only growing the more he got to know her. She wasn’t just a pretty, no, beautiful face. She was talented, caring, smart, funny, everything you could ever want in a person all wrapped up in one. That made it increasingly hard for him to forget his growing feelings and focus on her as being nothing more than a friend. Sure he thought that maybe she flirted with him at times, but she shared the same teasing nature with Reggie and Alex too, Flynn even, so he convinced himself it meant nothing.

So he made a vow with himself to never tell the girl how he felt, even if it would break his heart the last thing he wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable - which confessing his feelings would surely do.

Once his last lecture of the year was over he slammed his books shut, shoving them into the bottom of his backpack where they would stay until the new year. Tonight was the last night they were all going to be here together. Reggie, against his best wishes, was going home for the holidays much like Bobby, Flynn and Julie. Alex was going to be spending it with Willie’s family, they had been dating for two months now. Luke was the only one going to be left behind, and despite all of his friends begging them to go back with one of them, he declined every invite. He’d rather be alone than invade anyone’s time with their families. Besides, it would give him plenty of time to work on new songs for the album he and the guys were planning. He was sure by the time they all returned he would have at least half of the songs ready to rehearse.

The group had planned to go out that night for a little holiday celebration of their own. Flynn and Julie had found a karaoke bar on the other side of town which they had been dying to show the guys, so tonight seemed like the perfect opportunity to go. Luke flew into his room, throwing his bag into a corner to be forgotten about.

“That doesn’t look like packing.” Luke frowns as Julie sits on her bed, her laptop open in front of her and her glasses pushed up on her nose.

She looks up at the sound of his voice, half closing the laptop as she moves her glasses to rest on top of her head, “Oh, change of plans, I’m not going home.”

Luke’s frown only deepens as he pulls his beanie hat off his head and throws it onto his bed, “How come? You were excited to see your family.”

“I know,” Julie replies, “But they’re visiting other relatives for the holidays and it’s a pretty long drive from here, so I said I’d go up for the new year instead.”

“Oh, right. Well I’m sorry, I know how excited you were to go home.” Luke offers a small smile.

Julie quickly waves him away with her hand, “Don’t it’s fine, I’m still getting to go home just...later.” She smiles, “I’m sorry for you, you’re gonna have to put up with me for longer.”

Luke laughs, kicking his shoes off and sitting down on his bed, “I’m sure I can cope with that.”

“Are you ready for karaoke tonight?” She asks, finally shutting her laptop completely and moving it to the side, “Flynn hasn’t shut up about it all day.”

“Yeah, I can’t wait to show you all up.” He laughs.

That night the karaoke bar was packed, mosty with students from their college. The group each had a turn on the stage while rounds of drinks kept flowing. As the night wore on the group got increasingly intoxicated, their fake ID’s which they didn’t often use finally coming in handy.

“Oh my god!” Flynn slaps her hands down onto the table gaining everyone’s attention, “You two,” She points a finger at Luke and then Julie, “Duet, now!”

“What?” Julie laughs, “Noooo, c’mon no one else has done a duet!”

“Yeah! If anyone’s dueting it’s you and Reggie, I’m down for some country rap.” Luke jokes.

“No.” Flynn points another finger at him, “I’ve been dying to hear you sing together. How many times have I said your voices would fit perfectly together? Thousands! Now get up there and sing!” she points to the stage dramatically.

Luke and Julie both try and protest but their friends all quickly join in on Flynn’s side.

“I would love to see a duet.” Willie agrees with nods from the group, “C’mon! What’s there to be scared of?”

“We’re not scared!” Luke defends, though on the inside he may have been a little petrified.

It was hard enough hiding his feelings for Julie on the best of days, but singing with her? On stage? Being that close to her while performing, having her look into his eyes and sing? He was sure he would spontaneously combust which would not be a pretty sight for anyone.

“You’re chickens.” Bobby decides, “Both of you. How about you just admit you’re in love and get up there and sing about it.”

“What?” Luke sputters while Julie looks on wide eyed, “We’re not - we are not - I am not - We’re not in love!” He finally blurts, “Fine, you want a show, we’ll give you a show.” he stands up from the table, his competitive nature and the alcohol getting the better of him.

“We will?” Julie asks before standing up to join him, “Yeah! We will! You just sit and watch.” She points around the table before the pair march off to choose a song.

“I mean, it will be fun.” She agrees with a shrug as they look through the song book, “We would do a christmas song?” She suggests.

“What, like fairytale of new york so I can insult you?” He chuckles, “Maybe not.”

“Something from a musical?” she points to a couple songs from the likes of high school musical and chicago.”

Luke shakes his head at that idea too before finally spotting a good song. “That one!” They both exclaim pointing to the song at the same time.

“Hm, I never took you for a dirty dancing fan.” Julie muses as she looks up at him.

“Are you kidding? I love that movie.” He laughs.

With their song chosen they make their way onto the stage, each picking up a mic as the opening notes to Time of my Life plays out, cheers erupting from their friends at their choice of a love song.

They start off singing on their own sides of the stage, sharing the occasional glance. But when the song really kicked in they met in the middle, Luke’s mic forgotten at his side as he shared Julies. They dance around the stage, singing to each other like they were the only two people left in the world, the crowd and bar around them completely forgotten. He got lost so easily in her eyes, like nothing else mattered when he was staring into them. By the end of the song he stepped back, letting Julie take the last notes as he held her gaze, her words sung to him and him only.

They were finally brought back to reality at the sound of cheering around them, both of them tearing their gaze away and back out to the room. Flynn was jumping up and down clapping while his friends banged loudly on the table trying to create the most noise in the place.

“That was amazing guys.” The DJ comments as they hand their mics back, “Cute couple.”

“Oh we’re not a…” Julie trials off with a shrug as the man walks away, Luke shares a nervous laugh with her as they make their way back to the table.

“That was pure fire!” Flynn jumps up at them.

“The chemistry was just oozing out!” Reggie comments earning strange looks from the pair.

“We asked him not to use that word.” Alex sighs, “But he’s right. It was intense.”

“It was just karaoke guys.” Luke rolls his eyes as he takes his seat, “Nothing to write home about.”

“Yeah, you wanted a love song, we gave you a love song.” Julie comments, sitting beside Luke and grabbing her drink.

“Whatever guys, keep denying all you want. We’ll be playing at your wedding one day.” Alex laughs, ignoring the burning faces of his friends as he grabs Willie’s hand, “Anyway, we better get going. Early flight in the morning. You guys have fun!”

The night drew to a close not long after Willie and Alex departed, the remaining group stumbling towards the dorms, each of them singing loudly and slightly off key.

“I love you guys.” Reggie grins as he leans against the wall outside his door, “Like, really love you. You’re my real family.”

“We love you too bro.” Luke pulls him into a hug and pats him on the back, “Now get to bed, you’re getting soppy.”

“Yeah, leave me to deal with him.” Bobby rolls his eyes, “Don’t even think about trying to cuddle me.” he warns.

Luke throws his arm around the girls shoulder as they head back to their own room, neither of them doing a good job at keeping the other walking in a straight line. They stumbled into the walls and doors, both of them shushing each other obnoxiously loud as they giggled. Finally back in their room they both collapse onto their backs on Luke’s bed, their laughter slowly fading away until the room is cloaked in silence.

“Reggie’s right.” Julie comments.

“About the chickens? I don’t know, I don’t think they can really-” Julie cuts him off with a laugh.

“No! About us, our group. We’re a family, and I love it.” she sighs.

Luke’s mouth forms a small ‘O’ shape before he nods in agreement, “Yeah, couldn’t ask for a better family.” he agrees, reaching down and taking her hand in his, the alcohol dampening the nerves he usually feels around her.

She squeezes his hand, laying her head against his shoulder where she soon fell asleep, leaving him alone to sober up with his thoughts. Would it be such a bad thing if he told her? He played it out in his head. Imagining if she did feel the same. He could tell her, she’d kiss him, they’d go on dates and meet each other's families. They’d fall stupidly in love and have the best time of their lives. He liked the sound of that. But he couldn’t stop the tiny pessimistic side of him from rearing its ugly head. Because she could not like him back. Or everything could go exactly how he wanted but something could happen. He could do something stupid like he was known for, resulting in Julie having a broken heart. He couldn’t bear that. Then they would fall out, and it would be awkward, because they share a room. They would have to see each other every day and he would be awkward and she would be bitter. They’d end up arguing a lot, and eventually hating each other. Never seeing each other again once college finished. Maybe she’d even move out of the room completely. He gulped at the thoughts.

No, definitely best not to say anything.

The next morning Luke woke with a sore head, the hand that had been holding Julies now empty. He sits up onto his elbows with a groan, squinting his eyes as he looks around the room.

“He lives!” Julie cheers and Luke whines at the volume of her voice, “Sorry,” She laughs, “Not feeling great?”

“Something like that.” He mumbles rubbing the balls of his hands into his eyes.

“Well lucky for you I’ve taken the liberty of ordering food worthy or curing a hangover, I’ve just gotta go collect it.” She throws her bag over her shoulder as she heads to the door.

“I’ll come with you.” Luke says, sitting up with a grimace.

“Please don’t,” Julie holds a hand out to him, “You look like you might throw up if you move any more. I’ll be ten minutes.” She disappears out the door without another word and Luke flops back down onto his bed.

The day passed without any sickness from Luke, his hangover slowly feeling less painful as the evening drew in. Still feeling a bit groggy he was sure it would be gone by the morning, so he got an early night, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillows.

Except the next morning the grogginess didn’t disappear, if anything it had worsened. His head felt fuzzy and his throat was like sandpaper. He turned to look at Julie, his body aching at the small movement.

“Am I dying?” He asks croakily.

“You sure sound like it.” Julie replies, looking up from her book to look at him, “And look like it.” She quickly puts her book down and hurries over to him, the back of her hand meeting his forehead, “Luke, you’re burning up.”

“I feel like I’ve been hit by a train.” He groans, “A train on fire.”

Julie rolls her eyes, helping him to sit up and pushing up the cushion under his head, “It’s just the flu. I told you not to go out the other night without a jacket!” She slaps him on the arm earning a whimper from the boy, “Next time you’ll listen to me. I’m going to the store to stock up on food anyway, I’ll get some medicine and soup.”

“Soup.” Luke groans out.

“Yes, soup. And you will eat it.” She points at him in warning before grabbing her jacket off the hook, “And I’m going to wear this, so I don’t get ill like an idiot.”

“You’re so sweet to me.” He mumbles, pulling his blanket up around his neck, “Can I have reese’s?”

“Sick people don’t get peanut butter!” She calls as the door shuts behind her.

Luke stays cocooned in bed until Julie returns with supplies. Luke watches quietly as she unpacks everything, then she makes her way over to him with a bag of all sorts of medicines, Luke grimaces at it.

“Don’t pull that face.” She slaps at his hand, “If you would have listened to me you wouldn’t be in this situation. Now, I have day medicine and night medicine, to help you sleep.” She places the bottles on the side table, “Cough sweets, pain relief tablets, cold and flu tablets, tissues.” She pulls everything out as she speaks.

“Are you trying to overdose me?” Luke asks.

Julie rolls her eyes, opening the packet of cold and flu tablets, “No, I’m trying to make you better so you’re not dying for the whole holidays. That would be no fun for me.” She hands him two tablets and a bottle of water. “You can take these up to four times a day, the day medicine twice and the night medicine before bed.”

Luke pouts at her as he swallows the tablets, “But I don’t want any of that.”

“Tough, I’m making you soup.” She hops off his bed and grabs the can of soup, readying it in the microwave for him.

Luke eats the soup, no matter how much he doesn’t want to. It leaves a funny taste in his mouth and he eats one of the cough sweets just to get rid of it. Julie chooses a christmas movie for them to watch, making sure the volume is on low so it doesn’t hurt his head.

“Can you sit with me?” Luke asks from under his pile of blankets, unsure as to why he had asked and feeling a little embarrassed that he did.

Julie pauses in her stride for a moment before changing direction to his bed, she sits beside him on top of the covers, letting him rest his head against her arm, “If I get ill I’ll kill you.” She warns jokingly.

“I promise not to get you ill.” he replies, knowing full well he has no control over it at all.

Julie spent the next couple of days caring for the boy, giving him medicine, making him food and keeping him comfy in bed. She estimated that it should take around three days for him to start feeling normal again with all the medicine she was giving him. So on the third night she gave him what she hoped would be his last dose of night medicine and tucked the blankets under his chin.

“I’m not even tired.” He complains, the blanket muffling his voice as he pulled it half over his face.

“Well you will be when that kicks in, we have this argument every night.” Julie sighs with an eye roll as she screws the cap back on.

“But I want to stay up with you.” He complains again.

“You can, tomorrow night when you’re hopefully feeling better.” He moves to get up from his bed but he reaches out and grabs onto her wrist.

“Can you at least sit with me?” He pouts up at her.

She laughs at him, perching back on the edge of his bed, “You’re so needy when you’re ill, it’s kinda cute.”

Luke frowns up at her, wanting to be called anything but cute by the girl he liked. “I’m not cute.” He argues.

The medicine already having the desired effect at making him drowsy, but he tried to fight it in order to spend more time talking with Julie. He tugs on her arm until she's laying next to him, his fingers moving down to hers and wrapping them together, he's pleased when she doesn’t move away from him.

“I’m glad you stayed back.” He mumbles, watching as his fingers fiddled with hers, “It’s selfish but I like your company.”

Julie smiles lightly, “I like your company too Luke.”

Luke smiles, a little lopsided in his dozy state, “I really like your company.”

“Well I really like your company too,” Julie laughs, “It’s not a competition.”

Luke shakes his head, burying his face into his pillows, “You don’t get it.” He mumbles out, Julie frowning as she strains her ears to hear what he’s saying, “I really like your company.”

“Yes Luke, you just said that.” She chuckles, “You don’t know what you’re talking about and you’re not making any sense, time for sleep.”

“No!” Luke complains, grabbing her hand tighter as she tries to get up, “You’re not listening to me!” He whines.

“I am listening to me! You said you really like my company! Twice!” She laughs.

Luke lets out a dramatic sigh, letting his head drop down onto the pillows again, “Forget it. You don’t care, you’re just laughing at me.” he mutters with a pout.

Julie sighs, feeling a little bad but knowing he was only acting this way because of the medicine, the boy probably had no idea what he was even saying.

“Okay,” She sighs, “Go ahead, what do you want to say.”

Luke sighs, chewing on his lower lip as he peeks up at her, she nods for him to go on, “She’s amazing,” He whispers, “Too amazing for me. She deserves the world, I could never give her that, but I wish I could.She means so much to me and I love her.” He mumbles, face half buried in his pillows as he lets his eyes drift shut, Julie had to wonder who he was talking about now, “I’m in love with Julie.” he adds in his half asleep state before finally letting the dreamland take him.

Julie’s mouth gapes open, eyes wide slightly as she stares down at the boy gripping onto her hand. She shakes her head, pushing the hope deep down inside of her. He’s off his face on flu drugs, he has no idea what he’s talking about. Hell he didn’t even realise it was her sitting next to him, he didn’t mean what he said. But part of her wished he did. She gives his hand one last squeeze before untangling herself and climbing into her own bed, ready for a night of restless fidgeting as she played what Luke had said over and over again in her head.

By the time morning came Julie was certain she’d gotten no more than two hours of sleep. Luke was sitting up in bed, scrolling on his phone when she turned to face him.

“Hey, you’re up!” Luke grins, his smile dropping slightly at her disheveled appearance, “Oh no, you’re not sick are you?”

“No, no,” Julie shakes her head, “I just didn’t sleep very well.” She sits up with a yawn and a stretch, “You seem to be feeling better.”

Luke nods his head, “So much better. I feel human again. Thank you for taking care of me,” He bites his lower lip and looks down at his covers, “I’m sorry I get a little much when I‘m sick.”

Julie laughs softly, a little disappointed that he hasn’t mentioned the night before, clearly he didn’t remember anything at all, “It’s fine. I didn’t mind.”

“Well you gotta let me make it up to you.” He says, pushing his covers away so he could climb out of bed.

Julie quickly shakes her head, “No, really, there’s no need.”

“I want to. You’ve spent the last three days looking after me, it’s the least I can do.” He argues.

“Well, it’s been snowing outside. And you’re still probably not one hundred percent, you probably shouldn’t go anywhere.” Julie tells him, always the voice of reason.

She also didn’t like the idea of going somewhere with Luke right now, his words from the night before still swimming in her head. If they did anything that even resembled a date she might break and say something she regrets. Like how much she’s in love with him and how he’s all she can ever think about.

“I guess you’re right...Okay then, we’ll order pizza, on me, and we can watch a movie? Not really an amazing thank you but, it’s a start?” He offers.

Julie sighs, the look on his face one of hope which she couldn’t say no to. Besides, they were stuck in the same room, it wasn’t like she could avoid him. She agrees, and his grin is wide enough to force one out of her as well.

So that evening they sit on their beds, stuffing their faces with pizza and garlic bread as they watch awful christmas movies and laugh over how bad they are. The previous night pushed into the back of her mind for the first time that day until Luke spoke up, his serious tone enough to pull her eyes from the movie and over to him.

“Hey, Julie?” He asks, as she looks at him his eyes are focused down on his pizza, “So...I wasn’t going to bring this up, but it’s been bugging me all day. Did I, uh,” He chuckles nervously, “Did I...Say some things last night?”

Julie looks at him in shock, sure he had completely forgotten. Her silence answers his question and his face turns a deep red, “Oh, god.” He groans, “I’m so sorry. I never meant to say that stuff, the medicine just...I’m so sorry. Please don’t feel awkward, can we just forget about it?”

Julie offers him a small smile, her shoulders deflating a little at his words, “Of course. It’s completely forgotten.” She forces a smile onto her face, “No awkwardness.”

Luke frowns over at her, in the months he had known the girl he had gotten to know how she worked and he could tell the smile taking over her face wasn’t genuine, “What’s wrong?” He asks.

“Huh? Nothing! Nothing’s wrong! Why would something be wrong?” Julie asks, shoving a bite of pizza into her mouth.

Luke raises his eyebrows at her, “Because I know you too well, what’s wrong?”

Julie looks over at him, the pizza half way back to her mouth again, she lets out a sigh and drops it back into the box, wiping her hands on a napkin, “Can we just forget about it?”

“Absolutely not. C’mon, tell me, I don’t like seeing you sad.” Luke prods her to talk to him.

Julie sighs again, contemplating if she should just lie to him, but the look of a kicked puppy on his face was too much for her. She caved.

“I guess, a part of me just kind of hoped you meant those things.” She shrugs looking anywhere but the boy in front of her, “I mean I know you would never, but hearing you say that...I guess I just got my hopes up.”

When she’s met with silence she looks up, eyes meeting Luke’s which held a look of shock, “Now can we forget I said that? Y’know what, we should just forget everything about this night. Maybe we should just start again? Get back into bed and pretend it’s morning!” She laughs nervously as the boy continues to stare at her, “Luke,” She whines, “Please say something so I know you don’t hate me.”

Finally Luke smiles, shoving his pizza box to the side and launching off his bed. Julie barely has time to comprehend that he had moved when his lips landed on hers, forceful but sweet, the taste of pizza and garlic between them. She moves her hands to rest on his chest, one of his supporting himself on the bed, the other holding her face. The kiss is slow and much too short for Julie’s liking, she stares wide eyed at the boy when he pulls away.

“I did mean it. Every word of it and I’ll say it every day if I can. You’re amazing, and I love you more than anything. You’re the best person to come into my life and I never want to be without you. Julie, I’m crazy in love with you and it’s not going away.” He breaths out.

Julie’s mouth forms a grin and she jumps up, throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him into a deep kiss as he wraps his arms around her waist. They stay locked together, lips moving in perfect sync until the stop for breath.

“You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to hear that.” Julie comments.

“I think I can take a guess.” Luke grins back, pulling her against his chest and placing a short sweet kiss to her lips before hugging her tight, “Am I still drowsy from drugs or is this really happening?”

Julie laughs against his chest, “I don’t know, let me pinch you to see if you’re dreaming.” She pinches his side and he jumps back quickly.

“Ow!” He complains and Julie just laughs.

“Definitely not dreaming.” She concludes, tiptoeing up to kiss him again, “That is something I will never get bored of.”

“You can say that again.” Luke agrees, grabbing her around the waist and falling back onto his bed with her as she squeals.

Of course a tiny part of Luke was still worried about anything going wrong, him being a notorious fuck up meant he would try his best to never do anything to harm this relationship. But the bigger part of him was so incredibly happy he could hardly contain it. The smile on his lips he was sure would be present for days, weeks even. He got the girl, the amazing, talented, sweet and caring girl. And he had no plans on ever letting her go.

They spent Christmas wrapped up together in blankets, doing nothing but talking, kissing and enjoying each other's company. Luke had never felt so happy and content on Christmas before, the girl in his arms the best present he could have hoped for this year and any year to come. When it finally came time for Julie to go home for new years she convinced Luke to come with her. Not that he took much persuading, a few kisses and puppy dog eyes and he cracked like porcelain and agreed.

Luke was glad she had forced him to go home with her, because her home was exactly that. A home. It was warm and cosy and he felt instantly welcome. Her little brother loved having him there, calling him the big brother he never had and showing him everything he got for christmas. Luke ended up playing with his cars and robot figures for hours and loving every second. He’d never had a younger sibling before, he now realised how much he had missed out on and was happy he and Carlos could both have the siblings that they had always wanted in each other.

Her dad was more than happy to have him there. He couldn’t stop thanking him for making his little girl happy and Luke couldn’t stop replying telling him how amazing she was. He felt like he was at home, a real home where he belonged. Ray invited him back for every break, Christmas especially, and he quickly accepted. His arm tight around Julie’s shoulder, his lips pressing a kiss to her hairline.

“You’re amazing.” He whispers to her.

She looks up at him, smiling wide and leaning up to press a quick kiss to his lips, “You’re amazing. Welcome to the family.”

tags: @chrlsgillespie @makebank @crybabyddl @gillespe-txt @themadnesscycle @wokealex @shellyysauruss-rex @fangirlsonthin (strike through means it wouldn't let me tag you sorry!)

#luke patterson x julie molina #juke fic #juke imagine #luke patterson x julie molina fic #luke patterson x julie molina imagine #my writing

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kjissexy1994 · 3 years

Text

WORDS OF SHAKESPEARE: The Return of a very Supa Occasion! (Special guest: Richard)

On the 19th of June 2021, my old friend, Maiwel alumni and acting veteran Richard and I went to the Supanova Comic and Gaming Convention at Sydney Olympic Park in Homebush Bay. The 2021 edition of Supanova was the first time in two years that it was held in Sydney as last year’s edition was called off due to “You Know What” alongside Adelaide, Brisbane and Perth.

To implement with the health and safety protocols, the layout of the convention was more smaller and laid out to comply with physical distancing measures as well as entering via a QR Code.

When I first entered the Dome Exhibition centre seeing all of the convention goers and Cosplayers of superheroes, sci-fi and anime. I kneeled down and proclaimed “HALLELUJAH!” as many of the convention fans from NSW were starved of a taste of a full-on convention since the world went upside down early last year (Outside of the smaller edition of Oz Comic Con titled OCC POP UP which was held earlier in March of this year).

Supanova contained a teeming amount of Cosplayers from DC Comics and Marvel Superheroes, Rick and Morty, Steven Universe, Star Wars, Ghostbusters, Doctor Who and Power Rangers, Cosplayers from anime such as My Hero Academia, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Naruto and Disney films including Mary Poppins, Mulan and The Little Mermaid, Cosplayers from Video games including Overwatch, Pokémon, Super Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, Street Fighter, Resident Evil, Mortal Kombat, Cyberpunk 2077, Final Fantasy, Sonic the Hedgehog and Undertale, Cosplayers from Web animations for instance including RWBY, Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss as well as various furry Cosplayers and cosplays of my childhood such as Pingu. There was also a very innovative cosplay such as an attendee dressed up as a giant functional Nintendo Game Boy System! The costumes looked absolutely well designed and spot on as I asked kindly for photos!

A number of RWBY fans and Cosplayers noticed me wearing Jaune’s Pumpkin Pete Hoodie. I must admit, I’d make a pretty good Jaune cosplayer if I could get his armour, his “Crocea Mors” sword and shield and dye my hair blonde!

There was also the Cosplay stage across from The Dome where there was a competition for the very best and innovative costume, as well as seminars of the bigger name Australian celebrities.

Speaking of the celebrities, Due to the international borders being closed until either the middle of next year or when the majority of the population of Australia is vaccinated, Supanova relied heavily on home grown talent from our country for example (but not limited to) Manu Bennett, David Wenham, Josh Lawson, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Georgia Haigh, Nicholas Hamilton and frequent Supanova Attendee, John Jarratt who is famous for portraying the infamously ominous and frightening Mick Taylor from the horror movie franchise “Wolf Creek.” I still remember being scared straight to high heaven watching the movie when I was very young due to Jarratt’s portrayal of the heinous horror character next to Bill Skarsgard’s portrayal of Pennywise the clown in Stephen King’s IT Chapters one and two, but alas Jarratt was a very generous and friendly larrikin!

There was a lot of great activities to do including the “Black Widow Obstacle Course” where you had to complete a number of tasks within the time limit in order to win a prize, Star Wars Lightsaber demonstrations and tutorials and the “Battlecry” LARP (live action role playing) battle displays and demonstrations where you could fight your friend or one of the friendly Battlecry veterans such as Sammy Owen from the recent Medibank Commercial with a rubber sword or axe. This was a very great debut for my LARPING alter ego, “Boar-Head: The Sworded Brawler” and I am very interested in joining a Battlecry LARP group in the future!

There was a very colourful display of artwork, comics and prints at the Artists Alley, with various comic book artists from across Australia such as (but not limited to) Queenie Chan of Fabled Kingdom, Anthony Christou of Luminous Ages and Camillo Di Pietrantonio famous for illustrating the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IDW comics.

The Fabulous Wonder Mama also made a guest appearance as she is a superhero representing the LGBT Community.

The Artists Alley also had tables of independent artists selling comics, prints, bookmarks and badges available. Looking at the artwork made me feel like I was at an Art Museum for the fans of pop culture!

For those who want to spend some dough, there were also stalls selling new and vintage comics and trading cards, Pop Vinyl Figures, Animation cells from cartoons and movies of yesteryear, Action figures and gaming consoles from the eighties and nineties, LGBT pride flags, rock and metal band t shirts and apparel and Plushies from Japanese anime and video game franchises such as Pokémon and Digimon. There were also games to play such as Super Smash Bros Ultimate for the Nintendo Switch so fellow gamers can smash their friends out of the arena! For the con-loving geeks who were hungry, Dominos had a stall selling various flavours of pizzas and garlic bread and the canteens in the Sydney Olympic Park Dome sold fish and chips, bagels, sushi and coffee. Byron Beef Jerky also had a traditional stall selling all kinds of flavours such as Teriyaki, Chilli and the infamous “Devil’s Doo-Doo!” (Not for the faint hearted!)

Whilst Supanova Comic and Gaming Con in Sydney was a fun event for the inner nerds, parts of the con had to be completely modified and or removed in order to be healthy and safe for example, the discontinuation of handing out free goodie bags containing the guidebook and map of the layout of the con and other cool things making both the map and guide digital exclusive via the Supanova Website.

Another notable absence was the Australian Wrestling Federation wrestling ring where the pro wrestlers of the aforementioned promotion would host a series of three wrestling matches per day and the wrestlers would hand out free autographs, this really kind of hurt me as a fan of pro wrestling for sixteen years but it’s better to be safe than sick. At least the Battlecry LARP displays and demos filled in its place!

For the seminars, gone are the days of staff handing the microphone to the audience for the Q&A’s as they have to lineup behind the microphone in order to ask an interesting question to the guests.

I also didn’t like how some parts of the convention was a bit squashy when you first entered, in the artist’s alley and in some of the stalls. Like I said, we are in a receding health crisis and we need to wear masks, be physically distant, wash our hands and get the much needed vaccine shot against the you know what!

All in all, Supanova had a amazing return to full flight in Sydney despite the scare earlier in the week and the lack of International guests. I was starved of a full on convention throughout the year of misery last year and as a person on the autism spectrum, cons are such an amazing way to make new friends and to show out your inner geek, nerd,fanboy or whatever via cosplaying, gaming, greeting guests, purchasing artwork and so on and so forth all in a very safe measure!

I give this year’s Supanova in Sydney a 7 out of 10. This edition was absolutely different compared to last year’s and I have strong confidence that next year’s edition in Sydney and abroad will have well known and beloved international guests back to the much loved Comic and Gaming convention next year, just in time for Supanova’s 20th birthday!

Next time I am in Sydney, I will be going to the Vivid Festival which will be in August so stay tuned for that!

Happy trails!

K.J (Kane)

#words of shakespeare #Supanova #supanova 2021 #sydney supanova #sonic the hedgehog #star wars #sydney olympic park

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iamnightduchess · 3 years

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Hello, how are you? ❤

I am Brazilian and I am super nervous (a good nervousness) because I am declaring this to my favorite writer and who I owe you a lot for her beautiful and inspiring ReiKasa's. So inspiring that because of you, someone so adorable, gave me an immense desire to write about this so perfect OTP, it is with joy that I say that I will post my first AOT / ReiKasa fic on behalf of you ❤

I just want to thank you for all the happiness that you have given me during this intense quarantine, you are amazing 🥰

(Note: forgive me for my terrible English)

Oh my gosh! Hello my dear (≧∇≦)/ Greetings from Malaysia (the land that had made SnK viral because of its tight-pants censorships haha) I’m doing much better after seeing your Ask, thank you! I get super nervous too when I received Asks because it’s always unbelievable to know that my stories have touched a lot of fellow snk fans’ hearts from all over the world 💖 It’s so surreal to me >D

I am truly honored to know that I’ve played a part in that drive for you to write for our OTP too *ugly cries* I am so looking forward to your first story! I know it will be amazing already!

Whenever I received Asks, messages or read on a ship author’s note on how my stories have inspired them to write their own ReiKasa adventures, I feel like a proud mother who is witnessing the beautiful growth of her babies.That’s the pride & joy that I truly feel from within.

I too realize recently that ReiKasa’s dynamic deserves an expansion in all existing genres in writing : romance, fluff, angst, erotic, dark, horror, sci-fi, heck comedy even that it takes our whole family to cover all bases. Because romance and erotic is my strength but I can’t do a good job in writing dark, edgier, super angsty ReiKasa fics, which is being written by the newer writers of this ship. So when new writers come into this ship’s fold, and even more so if that door of possibility was made possible from what I’ve shared with the world, it gives me immense joy in return to know that our OTP is actually growing. 5 years ago, I was alone. But today, we have our own family!

(￣` Д´￣)9

“The more joy & beauty you give out to the world, the more joy & beauty will come to you.” I believe in the truth of this saying. Thank you to you & to all my readers and readers-turned-writers out there! ❤️️ All the best with your writing & please do share/tag me when you’ve published your story. I can’t wait to read it! Take care & stay safe! xoxo

#ReiKasa #ReiKasa asks #thank you!

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muffinapologist · 4 years

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ok so I know everyone’s already done this already but I love role swaps so here’s my take on the light sides and dark sides swapping places.

Light Sides;

Remus, “Dark” Creativity: Character!Thomas in this AU is a fan of all things horror, his channel would be reviewing horror movies and ranking slasher films. Along with some dark sketch comedy. Because of this Remus is actually his main creative side, and Thomas isn’t alarmed by his contributions. Because Remus is a light side, and not repressed, his nature is more tame. He doesn’t encourage Thomas to hurt anyone, just to push boundaries with what he creates. He can take it too far, sometimes, but the others reign him in.

Virgil, Caution: Virgil fills the active role of Thomas’s logical thinking, and is generally in charge of keeping the others in check. A true logical side exists to Thomas, but he is one of the dark sides so Virgil takes over those duties. Because he still has elements of anxiety he tends to be overly cautious in his contributions which causes him to butt heads with Remus a lot since as the creative side he wants to take more risks. Thomas would also be more of an introvert, which is why Virgil is in the driver’s seat.

Janus, Self Preservation: Janus fills the active role of Thomas’s moral compass, since his actual morality is a dark side. His priority is making sure Thomas is healthy and happy, mentally and physically. He doesn’t have dominion over emotions because that falls to Thomas’s actual morality, but he still has limited power to deny those emotions (or rather, the source) when they get overwhelming to their host. Janus is sometimes willing to have Thomas do anything to get ahead and it’s mostly Virgil’s fear of distancing themselves from Thomas’s friends that keeps him in check.

Dark Sides;

Roman, Envy (”Childish” Creativity); Roman was originally part of Thomas’s creativity but as Thomas grew up, Roman’s contributions were filed away as kid’s only. Fine for some people, but not what Thomas wanted to draw upon. This caused him to split from Remus and, being also the embodiment of Thomas’s pride and ambition, he became Envy. He is especially envious of Remus getting to play an active role in Thomas’s creativity and will antagonize him. He’ll also antagonize Thomas by convincing him to feel envious of fellow creators instead of admiring them. He’s the last of the dark sides to be accepted.

Patton, Guilt (Morality); As Thomas’s creative inclinations became darker, and he started welcoming the thoughts as a creative source rather than entirely unwelcome, Patton started working overtime as his Morality to fix it. All this did was make Thomas miserable, though, and so he became Guilt. Patton doesn’t mean to hurt Thomas but his sense of morality goes against what Thomas is doing almost all the time and so he tends to guilt trip him and the other sides. Because he’s so often ignored he ramps up Thomas’s emotions in an attempt to get his attention. Which causes Janus to push him further back. He’s the first of the dark sides to be accepted.

Logan, Apathy (Logic); Logan serves as the other end of the extreme that is Patton as Guilt, total and complete apathy. A nihilistic world view in which doing anything is pointless because, looking at the facts, the impact a single person can make is minuscule. Even his curious spark has died out. This essentially forced Virgil to take the wheel as far as logical reasoning is concerned, because relying on flight or fight is better than doing nothing. During conversations Logan will often present both sides without offering an opinion of his own. He would be the second of the dark sides to switch over, after Patton.

#sanders sides #dark sides #light sides #side swap #no one's meant to be unsympathetic but lemme know if u need somethin tagged

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thelastyetfabolousmidwestmadman · 4 years

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Detective Conan Deconstruction/Plot Twists/Subversion's

Howdy!

I've been thinking a lot because I haven't slept or been made sensible enough to see reality through rational means of comprehension.

For a black and white series of tales such as Gosho Aoyama's DCMKverse I can sure think of a multitude of ways to turn it grey. So many dark, bloody possibilities, such a endless plethora of grief, angst, and schadenfreude, of voided bowels and lost innocence, so many terrifying ideas yet so little time...

Anyway, to summarize the contents of all that verbal diarrhea, my mind has created a vast orchestra of sinister ideas that I can't put them all in one or more stories. Some of them I'll use later, some of them I will not. I guess my main inspiration for this stream of consciousness that shouts madly into the abyss of the World Wide Web, is the idea that some intrepid, curious wanderer may come across my inane rantings and be inspired to write their own atrocities.

Or maybe it will the stoke the wondrous imagination of a writer who is more of a sick fuck then I am, (:

There are five areas that can be twisted into something cruel. They contain the following:

Cases

Heists

Romance

Character Flaws

Black Organization

Get it on!

Case’s

Suspect Gets The Last Laugh- Killer is revealed but manages to poison the victim with Ricin or something more subtle allowing the target to die a couple days later. Simple enough.

More Then One Killer- The killer is caught! However a quick look back at the scene reveals he wasn’t alone and he ain’t spilling the beans.

Hannibal Lector Wannabe- A killer decides to fuck with our beloved Teen Detectives by playing a game of manipulation and horror while he threatens their loved ones into continuing.

Escaping Through Statute Of Limitations- When Our Teen Detectives decide to give their customary breaking speech,

Killer Gets Out Of It, Now After Detectives- The killer proves much too clever and sees through our casts tricks. Maybe he begin’s to notice Conan’s con and swears revenge out of his ego.

Loved Ones Hurt In The Crossfire- They were too quick for Conan’s soccer ball, Heiji’s sword, Kogoro’s Judo, or Division One’s reflexes. The bullets, blades, bludgeons. and Pelvic Thrusts couldn’t be avoided and the innocent were hurt before they could be saved.

It’s Too Much All At Once- When the cast see a suspect state his intention to kill himself, especially in the early episodes, the cast would dare them to do it, thinking it is a bluff. It isn’t.

All For Naught- Going down a dark rabbit hole isn’t worth it, if a killer turns out to have escaped or has been dead for a long time.

Big Troll- There was no murder or kidnapping, they just wanted to humiliate them.

Green Mistake- Not all detectives succeed at once. Sometimes they make mistakes... Okay just here me out here. I sincerely doubt that all those amateur detectives despite their talent have a perfect track record in solving cases or even not getting a innocent person hurt. Just look at Heiji’s, Kogoro’s, and Sera’s early (or in Kogoro’s case many) mistakes. It’s statistically impossible to get it right all the time.

Victim Is Worse- Conan and the gang successfully prevent a client from being murdered. The criminal screams at them, telling them how evil he was, and how this was mistake. When they learn of the clients sick actions, they understand why.

Romance

Waiting For Someone Who Is No Longer There- Lets think about the situation between Shinichi and Ran for a sec. if your like me you come to a unfortunate realization that was also in the OVA “Stranger In 10 Years.” Shinichi may never get back to the way he was. Maybe there is no antidote. What if he disappears in that time? And I don’t mean move on, I mean dies without anyone knowing. Ran now has to deal with both a missing Shinichi and a vanished Conan. Yet, throughout her whole life Ran holds out hope, waiting for them. Waiting for Shinichi to call. She refuses to fall in love with someone else and becomes obsessed with finding them... Until in her old age, she dies.

The Sleeping Sleuth Sleeps Around- Okay just listen to my reasoning here for a sec. I know many of you are probably sharpening their knives in the comments but let’s really think about this for a sec. This is the same Kogoro who smacked the butt of one of the Black Bunnies, and repeatedly motorboats whatever young woman he comes across. I doubt if Eri is okay with that. Plus, alcoholism and nymphomania is not a winning combination. He could easily make a mistake while in his delirium.

Shinichi’s Toxic Jealousy- Once again bear with me on this. I don’t think either Shinichi (or Kogoro for that matter) are evil. They have flaws just like any other person. However, Shinichi can be sort of a dick with it comes to how territorial he is with Ran. Just look at Eisuke. Unlike most of the perverts who are after her, Eisuke is a genuinely nice guy and Shinichi treats him like garbage. That got me thinking... Maybe Shinichi’s claims about wanting Ran to be happy aren’t entirely true. A part of him knows what he’s doing is wrong but a selfish side can’t. What if Shinichi’s jealousy starts to hurt Ran severely? Again it have to be written well so Shinichi doesn’t come off like a unrepentant dick but I think there’s something there.

Character Flaws

Hot Headedness Get You Or Others Killed- This idea concerns Heiji mostly. A rather temperamental fellow isn’t he? Always rushing into danger without thinking or having trouble with guile... Ain’t that a losing combination innit? I wonder how many criminals can take advantage of that eh? How easy it would be to trick Heiji to go into a trap if Kazuha is threatened, how simple it would be to switch a blunted blade with a sharpened one, how effortless it would be to get important information, how utterly painless it would be to manipulate him... Well I’ll leave you lovely sick bastards to come up with more.

Dysfunction Junction- Let’s talk about the Mouri’s. They’re... Not healthy to say the least. With Kogoro’s gambling/drinking/man-whoring problem barely touched upon, as well as his abuse of Conan along with Eri’s absenteeism I can say that’s a huge target for blackmailers, debt collectors, and Count Of Monte Crisco wannabes.

Conan The Gremlin- Y’know for such a seemingly innocent little boy, he sure gets into a lot of trouble don’t he? Murders keep happening around him like a curse, and that animal tranquilizer can’t be healthy for Sonoko and Kogoro... Plus people could find out who he truly is and... Well it would probably be really messy wouldn’t it?

Incompetence From The Police- In all seriousness, let’s think about this for a second. You have a overburdened police dealing with a intense rise in the murder rate, illicit narcotic consumption, and terrorism... But before we can get any further let’s talk about real life Japanese criminal procedure. In Japan you can be held for 21 days in a tiny dark cell without due process or access to a lawyer. Your are also being interrogated with the police officers using abusive tactics such as telling you how ashamed your family would be, something that can’t happen in a culture based on Confucian values. You confess but take it back only to find that you’re basically fucked since Japan has a 99% conviction rate regardless of innocence. If your a drug addict, you are literally considered nonhuman by the public at large and due to the Reaganite standards treatment isn’t a option. If your on death row, you are never told when your going to die and even if innocent is unlikely to get out. Stressed at the rising crime rate, the police refuse to investigate any suspicious death and just like in Osaka (yes this actually happened) will simply not add to the police statistics. If your a police officer what are you to do? Just a few years ago there was so little crime and now your stressed to the bone. You’re largely conservative and full of pride so you won’t admit that you must change tactics. This quick jump to conclusions and borderline incompetence can be seen in so many episodes of Detective Conan that’s it’s a wonder that more people haven’t been wrongfully convicted or got away with it... Or perhaps they have.

Black Organization

Government Corruption- Given how much sway the BO has, it got me thinking. What if everything wrong with the Japanese Government is because the BO IS the government. Something sorta akin to how the Russian Mob are basically government officials. So many possibilities other then the usual blackmail, assassinations, and bombings. Electoral fraud, jury tampering, manufacturing consent, subtle revisions of the law to encroach on democratic rights such as those the Third Way, and Neoconservatives did in the west. So many more subtle yet intriguing ways to go about this! Perhaps the BO serves as a lobbying for other more savory companies that proudly align with them such as legalizing gambling or deregulating protections.

Caught!- The BO discovers Conan’s true identity. Hell follows.

Heists

Heist Bombing- Some madman or maybe the MK organization decides to bomb the Kid Heist. Lots of people die, are traumatized and have to deal with the aftermath. I’ll leave the rest up to you guys.

Crazy Fans- Self explanatory until you really think about it. If Kaito Kid is real in this universe, how toxic is the fandom? How many of them have pedophilic undertones with the beloved Kid Killer? What if a stalker discovers Kaito’s real identity and goes psychotic? Riots could happen! So many possibilities! Doesn’t have to dark like in my sick mind, can be played for laughs.

One last thing, because of how long this took to write, a certain beloved detective’s birthday is here.

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIN-CHAN!!!

#magic kaito #detective conan #kaito kuroba #shinchi kudo #conan edogawa #ran mouri #suzuki sonoko #Black Organization #Eri Kisaki #Eisuke Hondou #Sato Miwako #heiji x kazuha #heiji hattori #kazuha toyama #sera masumi

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falsegoodnight · 4 years

Text

✰ These Lights Are Blinding ✰

Mature | 3.7k

This is the first 4k-ish words of a fic I spontaneously started writing after getting the idea in a dream. This could all be scrapped or changed but I’m currently 7k in so I hope not :)

I shared a link to a google document on twitter for feedback but I thought I’d just share it here for more potential thoughts/feedback too!

(Vale, if you see this, look away!)

Trigger warning: kidnapping, minor violence, presence of guns, minor character death (unknown person), mentions of blood, etcetera

(I don’t think it’s scary at all but people have said so, so… beware?)

Louis mewls, head knocking back against the cool surface of the tiled walls with a clang. He doesn’t notice, not when Harry Styles is sucking unforgiving kisses down the length of his throat, licking up his pulse almost animalistically.

The hard thumping of the bass reverberates through the wall behind him and sinks into his back, muted sounds of laughing and screaming slipping through and curling into his ears. Louis doesn’t pay any of it any attention.

He lets out a small whine when Harry bites down on his collarbone before making his way back up to Louis’ parted lips, immediately sucking the bottom one into his mouth. Their lips slide together like a symphony, slow and methodical but still passionate and all-encompassing.

Harry is unrelenting, large hands bracing Louis up against the wall, fingers rubbing circles into the skin of his thighs almost possessively. He’s got Louis caged up against the tiles, broad figure covering Louis’ own and hiding him from view if any unsuspecting persons were to enter the bathroom within the next few minutes-

Or half an hour.

Because that’s how long they spend snogging in the bathrooms like they’re bloody teenagers- not that he particularly minds. Louis’ fingers roam over the expanse of Harry’s torso, brushing over the exposed triangle of skin on Harry’s chest where his sleek black button-up has been undone.

Harry hands’ slide around to cup his arse, squeezing and kneading at the flesh unabashedly. He’s all-consuming and intense as he slowly takes Louis apart.

He moans into Harry’s lips, yelping when the bastard bites down hard enough to taste blood. The sting sends a thrill through his veins. God, he’s been wanting this for six months but none of his fantasies can compare to the feeling of Harry’s hands on him, confident and greedy and reverent all at once.

Harry started working at the firm last November and Louis was instantly smitten by his dashing looks and endless charm. However, the true attraction grew as he realized how clever and intelligent and kind he was. How genuine and confident, but still humble and self-aware he is all the time.

It didn’t take long for him to develop a crush, pining after the attorney from afar while doing his own duties as a swamped paralegal in a small firm. Harry and him didn’t talk that often but when they did, they talked for ages, known to have long discussions in the break room where Louis’ tea had long gone cold yet he still clasped it to his chest shyly or endless banter and back-and-forths filled with wit and snarky jabs while in the company of other people until Niall jeers at them to, “Get a room!”

There was this profound connection between them from the very first day, a pulsing link that pulled them together in every room, almost alive.

And Louis has been yearning for it. Months and months of build-up, of chemistry and sexual tension, have led to this moment.

They’re at some club celebrating the victory of one of the biggest cases their local firm has ever seen. Harry had headed the case along with fellow attorney Liam Payne. They’ve been working on it for about three months now but the verdict came in yesterday.

They won.

And now the entire branch is out revelling in it. This sort of win can attract a lot of new customers, has the ability to put them on the map.

Louis may just be a paralegal, but his pride and happiness is monumental.

He showed up an hour before, letting Niall sling an arm around his shoulders and drag him into doing shots with the rest of the troupe. Then Louis weaved his way onto the dance floor, swaying and moving to the beat in his sweat-slick blouse and skintight jeans.

And then he saw Harry.

He had looked like an otherworldly being when Louis first spotted him in the crowd, people parting as he made his way to Louis with a steely look on his face and dressed impeccably in a black button-up and black jeans.

They drifted towards each other like twin magnets, Harry’s hands locking in around his waist and Louis’ fingers digging into his biceps.

Needless to say, they were stumbling into the bathroom within minutes.

Louis whimpers as Harry rubs one of his nipples through the material of his flimsy sheer top and leans down to mouth over it right after, soothing the sting. They came in here for a quickie but they haven’t quite gotten there yet, each other getting too distracted by the other’s lips and body.

Not that Louis is complaining.

Harry kisses his way back up to Louis’ lips yet again, shoving him further up against the wall. Louis’ spine straightens against the hard surface, body quivering from desperation and arousal. Harry’s so fucking strong, god.

He digs his fingers into Harry’s styled hair, undoubtedly messing it up. Harry doesn’t seem to mind, letting out a low groan before biting down hard on Louis’ bottom lip.

Harry bites his earlobe next, breath fanning across the sensitive skin of his neck. “Do you know what I’m going to do to you?”

Louis shivers. “What?” he breathes.

He can feel Harry’s smirk before he speaks, “Take you out to dinner.”

Louis shudders, head slumping back against the wall with a small thud. “Is that a threat?”

“S’a promise, baby,” Harry murmurs, pressing a sweet kiss to his pulse. The tender action is a stark contrast from the frantic desperation of the past half an hour. Louis is still not complaining. “I don’t want the first time I have you be in a public restroom for a club quickie,” he continues, teeth grazing Louis’ throat teasingly. “You deserve better than that.”

“What if I want it?” Louis breathes, slowly grinding his hips down and forward, savoring Harry’s replying hiss of pleasure, hips bucking to meet Louis’. “What if I need it?”

Harry’s eyes are dark when Louis blinks coyly at him. He wore his best mascara tonight so he knows his eyes look sexy as fuck. Harry leans in close, lips brushing his torturously light. “If you need it, sweetheart, then who am I to-”

A loud thump has them both going rigid in place, spinning to face the now open door where Liam Payne is staring at them in horror.

“Oh, fuck, I didn’t need to see this,” Liam exclaims, slapping a hand over his eyes dramatically. “Harry, the boss wants to speak to us… Like now.”

Harry groans, head dropping to Louis’ shoulder.

Louis grins despite himself, patting Harry’s head softly. “S’okay, Styles. You can still take me to dinner.”

Harry chuckles into his shoulder, pressing a chaste kiss there before gently setting Louis down. He grips Louis by the chin and kisses him firmly on the lips again. It was innocent but Louis is still left breathless and wanting.

Damn Liam and damn Saunders.

“Now,” Liam repeats, still covering his face.

Louis huffs. “We’re decent, Payne.”

Liam slowly peeks out over his fingers, looking skeptical. When he sees them standing over a foot apart, he lowers them fully, frowning. “Excuse me for being cautious,” he sniffs, before turning to Harry and gesturing to the door impatiently.

Harry grabs Louis’ hand and presses a lingering kiss to the back of it, whispering, “See you later, Lou.” Then he leaves with one last heated glance over his shoulder.

Louis stands there for another three minutes waiting for his heart to calm down, skin tingling with the ghost of Harry’s lips.

Then he goes and gets a drink.

It’s about an hour later when Louis starts getting restless. Harry and Liam aren’t back yet so Louis has been hanging out with Niall and Liam’s boyfriend, Zayn.

Zayn is an art therapist and he and Louis met over a year ago, introduced by Liam. They’ve become good friends over the course of firm events, parties, and other occasions. However, today Zayn is not his usual, sharp self. He’s feeling under the weather, skin gaunt and eyes lined with dark bags.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t take you home?” Louis asks for the dozenth time, rubbing soothing circles into the man’s shoulder. “You need rest, babe.”

“I’ll be fine,” Zayn insists, but his strained frown says otherwise. “Besides, you shouldn’t leave. You’ve been waiting for this to happen for months.”

Louis blushes, mind wandering back to Harry’s arms around him, Harry’s hands on him, the potential of Harry’s cock in him… He shakes it off, slipping on a determined expression. “That’s probably not even going to happen tonight. But what will happen if I don’t take you home is that you’ll get sick and be miserable.”

“You don’t have to come with me,” Zayn protests, looking ruffled but still miserable.

“No offense, Z, but you look like you’re going to fall over if you try to walk by yourself,” Louis says gently. “Let me help you, m’kay?”

Zayn sighs. “You’re not going to change your mind, are you?”

“I’m not above following you home either,” Louis jokes, shrugging casually. He squeezes Zayn’s shoulder, smiling when Zayn rolls his eyes and nods, giving in. “Okay, let’s go!”

“Let me text Liam,” Zayn says quickly right as Louis stands up. “You should tell Harry too.”

“You’re right,” Louis says, pulling out his phone.

He indulges his desire to wallow for a minute, frowning as he types out: zayn’s sick and I’m taking him home. raincheck? :(

Surprisingly, Harry replies immediately.

I guess it’s a good thing. Saunders is having us work out some final details for the case report. It’ll take another hour or so.

poor harry :o

>:(

dinner Sunday night? I’ll pick you up :))

sounds decent :))

He’s smiling giddily at his phone, excited with the promise of a date tomorrow night. He knows he’s blushing too but he can’t help it. Harry just makes him feel so many things. God, he can’t wait.

A final text from Harry sends right then: Text me when you get home safe xx

okay, will do xx

Zayn clears his throat and Louis startles, lips parting in surprise. Zayn sends him a knowing look and Louis elbows him, face burning. “Fuck off,” he mutters. “You and Liam are practically married.”

“If he ever proposes,” Zayn says sadly, looking woeful.

“He will! He’s just slow sometimes,” Louis insists, smirking.

Zayn elbows him back.

Liam drove Zayn to the club and Louis took the Tube so that’s the plan they settle on for getting to Zayn and Liam’s flat, catching the first one at the station and plopping down on the metal seats next to each other. Zayn’s flat is about five stops away but Louis doesn’t plan on keeping track of it- that’s always Zayn’s job.

Their knees knock together as they lean in to whisper to each other, Zayn interrogating him for more information on what happened earlier that night.

He cackles when Louis gets to the part about Liam walking in on Louis and Harry. “I guess it’s only karma,” he muses. “Since Harry’s walked in on me and Liam-”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Louis interrupts, sticking his tongue out childishly.

Zayn rolls his eyes. “No need to act all innocent when you were that close to letting Harry fuck you against the bathroom wall… while the door was unlocked.”

“Shut up,” Louis hisses, face burning when the woman next to him shoots him a reproachful look. “You’re supposed to be miserable right now, not making me miserable.”

Zayn coughs exaggeratedly, feigning a look of pain and adding a shuddery sigh for extra dramatics.

“I hate you,” Louis states flatly.

“You’re just moody because Harry didn’t-”

Louis pokes Zayn in the ribs, affronted. Zayn pokes him back, eliciting a breathy yelp. Their almost-tickle fight is cut off as the train comes to an abrupt halt. Louis furrows his eyebrows, glancing out the windows to see the familiar glaring white of the tunnel. They’re not at the next stop yet which means they’ve stopped for another reason.

“Are you fucking serious?” a man asks across the car.

They wait a few seconds but the train stays in place. Technical difficulties, he figures, groaning. “Really, Universe?” he whispers, disgruntled. He wants to go home and bundle up in blankets and replay the events of the bathroom over and over until he’s blushing and itching to go plan out his outfit for their date tomorrow night. But yet again, his plans are interrupted.

Instead of the usual intercom explanation where the driver would offer an estimated wait time for whatever happened to be fixed, the speakers stay completely silent. Nothing but the soft breathing of Zayn and the random woman on his left to cut through the ominous atmosphere. A prickle runs down Louis’ spine and he shivers. It feels almost… eerie.

As if sensing his discomfort, the lights switch off suddenly. Louis sucks in a breath, waiting. They don’t come back on. The prickling feeling grows, spreading down his limbs to his quivering fingers.

Next to him, Zayn’s hand fumbles for his, squeezing. Louis squeezes back, unnerved.

“Why isn’t there an announcement?” someone asks a bit further ahead.

Louis shudders again, tugging the sleeves of his jacket further over his pale fingers. It feels like all the heat in the air has been zapped out, a frosty chill settling over the train car.

A sudden loud thud has them all stilling in their seats. Louis exhales jaggedly, squeezing Zayn’s hand again. What the fuck is happening?

“There’s no service,” someone says. That’s less surprising- plenty of tunnels in London have spotty or nonexistent service, and yet now it feels almost threatening. “Wait, what the fuck? Now it’s dead? I just charged it!”

A litany of alarmed cries and words erupt after that realization. Louis bites his lip as he pulls his phone out of his pocket only to see that his too is dead.

The curling sense of dread in his stomach is ever growing, licking up his insides and clawing up his throat until it feels dry and useless.

“What’s happening?” Zayn asks, sounding panicked.

“It’s going to be okay,” someone else says, but there’s uncertainty laced in her words.

Louis has taken the Tube almost every day for the past five years, relying on it to get him everywhere since he doesn’t have a car and hates driving. Never once has anything like this ever happened. His heart is pounding in fear and apprehension.

And then, the lights flicker back on.

Standing in the middle of the car are three masked figures, dressed in all black and carrying guns.

A collective gasp rings through the silent car and bile rises in Louis’ throat, heart thumping against his chest excruciatingly. Holy fuck…

They stand there silently, looming and intimidating and blocking the main entrance. Their masks are almost Opera style, embellished with lace filigree and decals, covering the entire face. Even the eyeholes are covered with crimson gauzy fabric, looking stark and morbid.

How did they get in here? Louis wonders, feeling sick. He feels even more sick when he realizes he might not make it home tonight.

The middle stranger steps forward. “Ladies and gentlemen, you have been picked for a once in a lifetime opportunity.” His voice is low and threatening, mechanical, as if he’s using a voice modifier.

The doors slide open behind him and another three figures step into the car, appearing out of thin air. Louis bites back the urge to cry, especially when his eyes latch onto the rope and cloths grasped in their gloved hands.

The first woman to be grabbed screams. Loud and thrashing as they subdue her, pinning her wrists and tying them together with the thick rope. She’s gagged and blindfolded, shoved outside of the cart and against the wall, less than a meter from the train car.

“If any of you choose to not cooperate,” says the same masked man from before, “Well…” He points his gun to the ceiling and shoots, crumbling pieces of laminate raining down to the chorus of a dozen cries.

Louis is frozen in place, hand rigid in Zayn’s.

The strangers work efficiently and quickly, spreading out to apprehend as many people as possible. Louis suppresses a sob when Zayn is ripped away from him. No one seems to resist, all stunned and scared into submission. Most of the people here are young- college students dressed like they were out partying and having a blast. Their faces are now ashen, lips wobbling and shrinking into their miniskirts and tight jeans.

Louis realizes with poignant relief that there are no kids in this car, and then suddenly he’s grabbed too. His lips part on a silent scream as his hands are wrenched behind his back and tied, rope scraping against his bare wrists painfully.

A gag is shoved into his mouth and he chokes, eyes blinking with an onset of tears right as the blindfold is fastened over them rendering him blind. He’s stuck.

A rough hand is placed between his shoulder blades, shoving him forward. With his sight taken away, his other senses have heightened.

He stumbles, tripping over an abandoned shoe or handbag or anything, before he’s flailing in the open air as he falls forward. They pushed him out of the train car. His breathing hitches, body locking in anticipation of meeting death only to crash into the hard wall.

He lets out a choked groan, nose throbbing from where it knocked into the wall. If it’s not broken, it’s definitely bruised. The thick heat of blood trickles over his gag, staining his lips. His heart thrashes against his ribs. He’s definitely trembling now.

Another rough hand shoves him forward and he stumbles, almost bumping into another person. Another prisoner, he realizes. They’re being forced to walk sideways to fit in the small space between the train and the tunnel wall.

The person next to him whimpers, the sound muted and strangled.

Louis breathes harshly, neck craning back as if it’d help him escape the onslaught of sweat, dirt, and the earthy engine odor that’s a common smell for the Tube but now just feels nauseating.

I’m going to die, Louis thinks hysterically. He’s being kidnapped, bound and gagged like a prisoner. He’s never going to sleep in his bed again. Never going to law school, never going to be a lawyer, never going to get married or have kids or grow old.

They walk for what seems like miles, feet stumbling to the right almost subconsciously. At one point, Louis hears a distinct crash and a strangled roar of anger, before it’s drowned out by a deafening gunshot.

It rings through the open tunnel warningly. Louis swallows another wave of bile.

Someone has died and he’ll never know who it was. One of the uni girls and boys? The elderly man reading the newspaper and looking exhausted. One of the agitated looking businessmen undoubtedly on their way home, maybe to a wife or husband and kids?

He chokes out a sob, devastated and disgusted.

For a while it seems like they’ll never make it out of the tunnel, will be staggering deeper into the darkness for eternity. But then a loud screech of, “Stop!” cuts through the air, cold and sinister. Everyone freezes.

A few minutes later, Louis is hoisted up and over something, right foot hitting something solid and throbbing with pain.

He’s shoved up into a mass of people, all whimpering or crying softly into their gags. He still can’t see a thing, vision completely dark. Once again, they’re herded forward like cattle and then to the right and forward and to the left and forward and forward and forward.

Louis is feeling dizzy with exhaustion by the time he’s finally yanked into some sort of vehicle. Probably a truck or something considering the amount of people crammed in there with him. The telltale sound of tires screeching is alarming and profound.

They’re leaving. Kidnapped, taken, trapped. Like something out of a movie except it’s frighteningly real.

And no one is coming to rescue them, Louis thinks deliriously. They couldn’t call for help and Louis doubts the driver had time to radio in an emergency before he was probably shot and killed.

No one is coming… At least not yet, but by the time they do, it’ll be too late. He thinks faintly of his mum, his sisters, Niall, Liam, Harry… He’s never going to see any of them again.

God, he doesn’t even know if he’ll get to see Zayn again before they’re slaughtered or sacrificed or whatever the fuck is going to happen to them. This isn’t anything Louis has been expected to prepare for. This is something out of a horror movie…or a thriller novel where the main characters either die or survive by the skin of their teeth.

But Louis is not a protagonist of an action novel. He has no skills for this sort of thing, overwhelmed by his terror and weaknesses.

He’s going to die alone and unknown.

Despite his depressing thoughts, he dozes in and out of fitful sleep for the next few fours. They’re definitely not in London anymore by the time the truck finally stops.

Louis prepares himself for the inevitable rough handling but still winces when he’s hoisted out of the truck and onto the floor, stumbling forward and almost slamming into another prisoner. His shoulder smarts, stinging distractedly as he’s pushed into another line. It’s a mess of thumps and thuds and gasps and whimpers and muffled cries.

It feels like he’s standing on hot asphalt, a putrid chemical and metal odor burning his nostrils as he inhales deeply, throat dry and scratchy. They seem like they’re outside and yet it’s much too humid and hot for London’s typical May weather. A timid breeze brushes over his sweating face, cold against the dried blood on his nose.

A loud, hoarse voice breaks through the chaos, threatening and foreboding. Louis’ blood runs cold at the sinister tone which seems to come from everywhere at once. “Welcome to the Masquerade.”

*coming soon to falsegoodnight

#drabbles #wips #snippet #cult fic #thoughts???#👀#scheduled

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eluviansandevanuris · 4 years

Text

The Hollow and the Hunger

I decided to write a wee horror story for Halloween or Samhain for my lovely fellow Dragon Age fans, blood magic and horror ahead.

Happy Haunting!

Varnarus wasn’t sure when the hunger started, but since it had started, it wouldn’t stop.

He had been a privileged child, the scion of two great houses of Tevinter, he had never been hungry a day in his life. The sensation was....foreign and unpleasant. An ever present gnawing in his gut, a void that could not be filled no matter how much he ate. Varnarus found himself gorging on bread, meats and cheeses in the small hours of the morning only to awaken filled with a ravenous hunger that could not be quenched.

At first he had thought that it was only a passing problem, but as the weeks dragged on and his guts knotted themselves with ever growing pangs of hunger he realized that the sensation would not abate.

Varnarus’s second theory was some sort of spell or curse, his father was not after all without enemies, he was a magister of the imperial senate, a powerful one.

One did not rise to power in the Magesterium without spilling at least a little blood.

He was his fathers pride and joy, an impossible, miracle child, born from a mother that was supposed to be barren. A sickly child that had lived despite the odds.

But alas, that seemed to be a dead end as well, after several visits to healers, scholars and fellow mages, none of them had answers. Well, one of his fathers fellow magister’s had said something odd, hardly worth noting

“we all crave what we ate as children”

Nonsense

And the hunger grew.

It was getting to be unmanageable, Varnarus would attempt to sit down with a scroll to study only to be driven to distraction by hunger, and then when he ate the hunger would return minutes later, stronger. On the worst of his days he would eat entire roasts, piles of cakes, loaves of bread, crates of apples and yet still be hungry, still be ravenous

The halls of the Minrathous circle that had once been his home and a source of comfort now were a source of distress, a place where he could never have his fill, a place where he would always hunger. Varnarus to his eternal shame had taken to raiding the kitchens nightly to soothe the pangs in his guts.

It would never stop

It was on one of these late night sojourns that Varnarus smelt it, a scent so delicious that his mouth watered and his belly ached. The scent was fragrant and rich, with a pleasant sweetness to it.

The spit pooled in his mouth and trickled down his chin and he knew.

This, this, this is what would quench his hunger, this is what would cure the ache in his guts and the void in his belly.

He had to have it

He fumbled down the hall blindly, following the fragrant scent with his nose, anticipation and relief rose in his chest, finally, finally he would be free of this awful hunger, finally he would be satisfied.

He followed his nose, turning down twisted corridors and winding staircases, all he could think about, all he could care about was satisfying the hunger that had plagued him for the past few months.

The scent was stronger now, it filled the air pungent and saccharine and Varnarus craved.

He was now in one of the older sections of the circle tower, a section that had built when ancient Tevinter was mighty. The architecture was harsh and forbidding, spiked dragons cast in gleaming bronze glared at him from their alcoves along the walls and the black marble floor seemed to consume light. A frisson of fear went down his spine, but the hunger quickly overshadowed any misgiving, he had to find the source of the scent.

Stumbling along the corridor he spotted a thin ray of light spilling from the door at the end of the corridor, he couldn’t think all he had to do was follow the scent.

Pushing open the door he was greeted with a wave of the scent so pungent it brought him to his knees

“What are you doing here!”

Varnarus looked up, it was one of his fellow mages, Lutius, Lacnus, Lucanus? it didn’t matter who it was, what matter was what he had in his hand.

A vial of ruby red liquid that glimmered in the low light of the room, the scent that came from that little vial was everything and Varnarus needed it.

Moving forward he was deaf to the cries of his fellow mage, he lunged forward snatching the vial from the man’s hand, downing the contents in one great gulp.

But it wasn’t enough

“what are you doing!”

“stop”

“STOP!”

Blinking Varnarus shook the last of the hunger haze from his mind, he felt...good, better than he had in weeks. The horrible aching in his belly was finally satiated, sighing softly he rubbed his eyes tiredly.

Odd, his hands were sticky.

Looking down his fingers came into focus, they were covered in crimson. Blinking furiously Varnarus looked around the room, it was bathed in crimson.

Vermillion splashes decorated the walls and there were chunks of red and gleaming white scattered around the room.

What had happened?

He didn’t remember.

Crawling through the red mess he plucked one of the gleaming white chunks from the stone floor.

It looked like a rib.

A human rib.

There were teeth marks indented into the surface of the rib. It was cracked as if someone had broken it open to get at the fatty marrow within.

The teeth marks cut long scours into the bone.

Someone had been very hungry.

His mouth tasted like sweetness and iron.

he had been very hungry.

Dareth Shiral

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yeoldontknow · 5 years

Text

Totem

Author’s Note: this story is entirely an act of fiction. it contains strong, mature themes and features subjects which may be triggering or uncomfortable to read. these themes include, but not limited to: themes of abduction, references to ptsd, extreme trauma, and paranormal activity. please take these warnings seriously and do not read if any make you uncomfortable. | this story is written as a script, rather than a traditional prose fanfiction. even though its unusual, i still hope you enjoy it <3 happy spooptober! Pairing: Hoseok x Reader (oc; female) Genre: horror; suspense; thriller; haunted house au; light romance; au Summary: What follows is an account of YouTube vloggers Euripet3s1 and theJungProject. This is a report of the last known whereabouts of Jung Hoseok. Rating: M Warning: themes of abduction/ghostly possession; references to ptsd; extreme trauma; paranormal activity; explicit language; non-explicit nudity; graphic situations Word Count: 5.5K

Towards the end of my research for my Ph.D, I became fascinated by what has recently been cited as the "second wave" of realism films in production, thanks, in part, to the advent of creative social websites like YouTube and Vimeo. The introduction of reality and scripted reality television, alongside its relatively unilateral conjunction with the internet, sparked a new direction in filmmaking that prided itself on low budgets and the autonomy of immediate authorship.

Where Vimeo encouraged, and favoured, well produced filmmaking and art house developments from a range of semi-professionals to professionals, YouTube saw a strong dynamic shift in what eventually was defined as vlogging. Video series like Marble Hornets, Fewdio, and curiously chilling uploads by users such as EverymanHYBRID became cult canon amongst internet users. Instead of humour posts, video game plays, and make-up tutorials, users sought creative expression in 'noise aesthetics' and the horror genre.

On April 30, 2010, YouTube user Euripet3s1 (full name: Y/F/N Y/L/N) uploaded a video entitled #184-190 to her channel of 12,413 subscribers. It would be the final upload she would make before deactivating the account three weeks later, eventually removing herself from social media altogether. The video itself is an account of her trip to England to visit fellow YouTube vlogger and boyfriend theJungProject (full name: Jung Hoseok), who was residing in the country while finishing his degree, depicted through seven pieces of footage taken from video cameras and mobile phones.

Euripet3s1's channel was a comedy and lifestyle channel, in which she would present everyday information in a humorous way. Therefore, the unsettling events in the final video left both fans and casual viewers stunned. Avid fans of the Marble Hornets series were the first to draw attention to the video, before it went viral on hundreds of forums, including Reddit and BuzzFeed. When the users’ account was deactivated, the video was removed from the website only to resurface two months later by user TwerK (full name: Kim Taehyung). There are only two videos on TwerK's channel: #184-190 and Help Explain This.

Help Explain This was filmed in August 2011 and is the last surviving footage of Jung Hoseok.

Numerous attempts at paranormal investigations have occurred in the last two years with no results. Psychics have been brought to every location depicted, though their efforts have been futile. The pocket watch in the film has been defined, by paranormal researcher David Kelwayne, as a totem. To quote David:

"A totem is an item left behind by the dead which they had ascribed deep personal meaning or symbolism during their life. To come into contact with a totem is to contact the spirit attached to it, even if said contact is relatively erroneous; to become connected to the totem is to become connected with the spirit, often permanently" (Seeking Answers: Beginner's Guide To The Paranormal, 54)

This report exists only to present the video as it was found, in its untouched manner, for archival and historical purposes. The research to be found on the events, people, and locations involved has lead many in vast circles and down endless rabbit holes. It is my hope that the academic world will provide its resources for the many seeking answers about what truly happened to Jung Hoseok during that week in April.

Editor’s note: Heretofore, the speakers will be quoted using their first initials rather than their usernames.

#184

Duration: 1:46

[Exterior. Night-vision mid-close up of dirt path. Leaves cover the ground and crunch audibly. Feet remain in view as two persons walk the path in brisk, even steps. A low male voice is heard, his accent distinctly Korean. ]

H: Are you filming, Y/N?

[A second voice speaks, female. She is American]

Y/N: I have no idea. Your camera is weird.

H: It's no different from any American camera. It's a SONY. Has the green dot gone on?

Y/N: Well, it's different in the dark. Yeah, it has.

H: Then it's filming. Point it at your face, dummy.

[Camera is lifted and spun towards the holder's face, the night vision on the camera giving her a blue glow. She is young, no more than 24. The fringe of her hair gets caught in her eyes, trapped there by the hood of her sweater. She smiles brightly, waving at the camera momentarily.]

Y/N: And so we meet again! Today I am joined by theJungProject -

[camera pans left. A young man, also no more than 24, is walking briskly with his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. He squints at the light of the camera and pulls a face by sticking out his tongue]

- say hi, Hobi.

H: [nods once] Hello, Tiddy Harem.

Y/N [sighing]: Must you call them that?

H: [shaking black hair out of his eyes; he sniffs, not looking at the camera] You have thirteen thousand subscribers and 12,950 of them are men. Yeah, I'd say it's a harem.

Y/N: [snorting] I do not have thirteen thousand. And that's an insult to my fifty female subscribers.

H: You know I’m playing. [sniffs] You have fantastic tits, though.

Y/N: You’re literally disgusting. [turns camera back to her face] So, as you all remember I landed last night in Heathrow, after which I got embarrassingly drunk on incredible beer. We spent most of the day being hungover before getting on a train from - what station was it?

H: [in background] Liverpool Street.

Y/N: Right, yeah. We got a train from there to here, [pulls camera back to wave hand, denoting surrounding location] which is apparently Suffolk…specifically Sudbury. We had a grand idea to go to the Borley Rectory because I'm in England and apparently that means it's okay for Hobi to go on a midnight ghost hunt.

H: I'm not ghost hunting, I'm just…exploring.

Y/N: [faces camera; raises one eyebrow]

[Camera turns off]

~~~

#185

Duration: 7:08

[Interior; night. Camera pans from left to right as Y/N breathes heavily. The windows of the rectory are shattered. Leaves scatter the concrete floor. What little furniture existing within the house has been tattered and worn over time, the sheen of its once extraordinary grandeur decayed with dust and time. Y/N walks to her right, into a small dining area. The camera pans over a wooden table that is badly scratched, three long distinct marks marring the mahogany. A hand comes into view, Y/N’s, as she runs her fingers over the marks. The camera pans up and to the left, showing cabinets that are missing their drawers. She leaves the room, slowly walking towards the foyer. A mirror hangs on the wall, the light reflecting off the glass into the lens. She waves.]

H: [distantly; calling] Baby, come up here.

[Y/N head turns right, facing the direction of Hoseok’s voice. The camera turns right as she walks straight back toward a carpeted staircase. Slowly, she ascends it, her footsteps quiet and muffled by both the camera and the foliage. She sniffles. As she approaches the landing, a painting of a pasture comes into view. It is crooked. When she reaches the landing, the camera moves from right to left. There are three bedrooms]

Y/N: [loud whisper] Where are you?

H: [voice from left] In here.

[Camera passes through a doorway. Long shot of Hoseok at chest of drawers to the left. There is an empty bed on the right side of the room, the mattress bare and torn. The video pixelates for approximately two seconds, correcting itself. The windows of the bedroom are in tact, though the carpet has been ripped up from the floor in a seemingly random pattern. Y/N walks to where Hoseok is standing. Atop the chest are several items: a broken hairbrush, a small empty picture frame, an empty ring box and a pocket watch. Y/N zooms in on the pocket watch. Hoseok picks it up, his grip indelicate. Y/N turns the camera, and zooms out to a medium close up of Hoseok’s face as he inspects it]

H: [whispers] This rectory had hundreds of residents before it was condemned. I wonder whose this was.

Y/N: [also in a whisper] Hobi, this place was destroyed by a fire in 1939. Isn't it weird to you that there's still…..things, objects…belongings in here? Nothing seems terribly ruined.

[Pause. Hoseok does not reply. Y/N returns the subject to the pocket watch, appeasing him by maintaining focus on the object though her discomfort is evident.] It looks really old. Can't be from any time after 1920, look at the design. Early surrealist or something.

H: [humming in interest] How do you know that?

Y/N: I’m taking art history for my electives. I’m just saying it looks like something I’ve seen.

[The camera zooms back on to the pocket watch in Hoseok’s hand. There is a patch of dirt along the rim of the cover, but an intricate design of intertwined clock hands and numbers is distinct.]

H: This is mental. You know the more you look at it, the more it resembles a kind of face. Like from a masquerade.

[Long pause]

Y/N: I don't see it. Where are you looking?

[Hoseok’s thumb comes into view. It presses the button on the side to open the watch. The cover pops open with a soft click, revealing an elegant Victorian clock face.]

H: Too much to ask for it to be working, isn't it. [laughs]

Y/N: Probably needs to be wound.

[Hoseok closes the pocket watch.]

[Cut. Interior. Y/N thuds down the stairs after Hoseok, hands clasped and both laughing They come to a stop in the parlor. Hoseok inspects bookshelves, looking for something or nothing, running his fingers over the dusted wood. Y/N turns the camera away and zooms in on a picture frame. It is badly singed. The image of a woman, who looks almost sad, is barely discernible.]

Y/N: [muttering] Something about this……isn't……

[The sound of piano notes echo loudly through the room. Y/N screams loudly, swears, and is visibly shaken as she turns toward the noise. Hoseok sits at a piano by the back of the room, playing Erik Satie's "Gnossienne No. 1." He is chuckling. Y/N approaches him.]

Y/N: There's a fucking piano?

H: [plays uninterrupted] Scare you, did I?

Y/N: Hobi, is there anything about this that's ok? You said this place was destroyed by a fire and has been abandoned. Logic this out for me: why would there be a piano in a burned down house? Wouldn't the city have this cleared out?

[Hoseok shrugs]

Y/N: I think we should go.

H: Don't want to spend the night here? We haven't seen anything yet.

Y/N: I paid £35 for a train ticket to this hell. I'll cut my losses and say we’ve seen plenty enough, okay?

H: [expression softening, he stops playing. The silence is deafening.] Okay, baby, we can go.

[Cut. Exterior. Y/N and Hoseok walking along a residential sidewalk. Hoseok is holding the camera this time, pointed at Y/N in a long shot. Night vision is switched off, faces now illuminated by street lamps they pass. He whistles seductively.]

H: [whispering] Don’t tell anyone until she watches this guys...but I think I’m in love with her. [He turns the camera to face him. The camera zooms out to fit his face.] I mean it. [He looks over the camera to her.] I love her.

Y/N: [distant, off camera] What are you whining about back there?

H: [laughing, he catches up with Y/N and aims the camera at her profile] Say what you said again.

Y/N: [biting her cheek, but smiling nonetheless] I said you're a twunt.

H: Look at that! Y/N has spent 30 hours in this country and is already adopting its language.

Y/N: Yeah, well you are. Tell the audience what you did.

H: [turns the camera to his face and holds it out. His leather jacket is unzipped, revealing A Horrors band-tee shirt] I've been a naughty boy. [His other hand reaches into his pocket. He pulls out the pocket watch] Y/N’s upset with me because I wanted a souvenir.

Y/N: It's not yours, Hoseok.

H: [turns his face to Y/N, camera still aimed at himself. He puts the watch back in his pocket] It's technically not anyone's. Besides, this is one thing we could at least fix.

[Camera turns off]

#186

Duration: 2:01

[Interior. Hotel bedroom. Y/N sits at the desk provided, laptop open as she uploads footage from the video camera onto her computer. Her back is to the camera. The pocket watch twirls in front of the screen. Hoseok hums. The camera flips, revealing his face. It is clear he is filming on his iPhone. He starts to mouth lyrics to "Don't Stop Me Now," which is playing in the background. He flips the camera back to the watch.]

Y/N: [turns her head quickly over shoulder] Holy shit, come look at this.

[Hoseok drops the pocket watch and hoists himself off the sofa. He is wearing plaid flannel pants. He approaches the desk, leaning against the back of Y/N’s chair and extending his arm as he films.]

H: [kissing Y/N’s head off camera, voice muffled] What is it?

Y/N: You tell me. [looks back at Hoseok, anxious]

[Y/N has Final Cut open. She presses play on footage taken earlier in the evening. She has selected footage from when he ascended the stairs and entered the master bedroom. It plays without sound.]

H: What am I looking for….I don't…

Y/N: [quietly] Just wait.

[The footage shows the camera panning through the room. As it comes to the bed, the footage warps, revealing a figure wearing black sitting on the mattress. It turns to look at the camera. It is wearing a white mask. The footage warps again. The figure is gone]

H: [reels back] What the fuck is that?! Did you put that in there?

Y/N: [turns to look at Hoseok] No. How would I do that?

H: [words unsteady] I don't know, you're the film wizard. I still use iMovie. Maybe you have clever special effects or something.

Y/N: I can assure you that I have no idea how to superimpose an image that clear onto digital footage. I took one semester of New Media, I'm hardly advanced.

H: How did you not see it when you were filming?

Y/N: I don't know, the camera went all pixelated when I was filming but I just thought the battery was running low or something.

H: You better not be having me off.

Y/N: [brow furrowed, disbelieving] What does that sentence even mean?

H: Is this punishment for taking the pocket watch?

Y/N: [pursing her lips briefly before she speaks] I'm really not that upset about the pocket watch. Why would I do that?

H: Whatever. Let's just go to bed and forget about it. I don’t want this to turn into a fight.

Y/N: Fine by me.

[Video ends]

~~~

#187

Duration: 0:53

[Interior. Mid-Day. Close up of Y/N’s face. She stares at something out of view. Behind her, the scenery has changed. Band posters line the green wall, gig tickets and setlists framed next to them. This is what many assume is Hoseok’s bedroom.]

Y/N: [whispers] He's been like this all morning. I have no idea what the hell is going on. He was fine yesterday when we got back from Borley. Fine when we went to lunch, fine when we went to The Borderline for the Lescop gig. Now, he won't stop staring at that goddamn pocket watch. Look.

[The camera is flipped, again the film is from an iPhone. Hoseok sits shirtless on the bed, hickeys dotting his neck and collarbone, the pocket watch in his left hand. He stares almost impassively at it.]

Y/N: [loudly] Hobi.

[Hoseok does not respond]

Y/N: [louder] Hoseok, what the fuck are you doing?

[Hoseok does not respond]

Y/N: [mutters quietly] Jesus Christ.

[The camera tilts and wobbles, tipping down for a moment as Y/N bends to pick something up. A shoe is thrown in frame and lands on the bed right next to Hoseok. Hoseok lifts his head, dropping the watch. He smiles]

H: Want breakfast, baby?

Y/N: [long pause; quiet breathing] Uh huh.

[video ends]

~~~~

#188

Duration: 3:21

[Exterior. Mid-Day. Extreme long shot of Hoseok as he stands in front of a wooden sign that says Boxer's Lake. From the pockets of his leather jacket he pulls the pocket watch]

H: [looking over his shoulder; calls] You sure this is a good idea.

Y/N: [loudly; voice garbled by wind into microphone] You should have seen yourself, Hobi. It's gotta be the watch and I don’t want to go back there to return it.

[Hoseok reels back and throws the watch into the lake. He stares after it, shoulders drooped and jaw tense]

[Cut. Interior of a car. Hoseok is driving. Y/N points the camera at his face.]

Y/N: How do you feel?

H: Like my soul has been ripped from my chest.

[Pauses. Looks at Y/N]

H: [bursts into laughter] Chill out, baby. I feel fine.

Y/N: [laughs weakly]

[Cut. Interior. Hoseok’s kitchen. Y/N films as Hoseok brews tea.]

H: You want any, love?

Y/N: Nah, water is fine.

H: [looks up at camera] Are you going to film everything?

Y/N: We have an interested audience. Need to keep them satisfied. And besides, I’m only here for a week. I want to remember everything with you.

H: [begins to pull off shirt, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.]

Y/N: [laughter] Don’t start with that!

H: [straightens and flattens shirt] You said satisfied! Y/N: [still laughing] Yeah, well, that’s just for me and I’d like to keep it that way.

[Hoseok bites his lip, happy, and walks to a cabinet to the left. He makes to open it, but his attention is brought to something on the counter beneath it. He pauses. His hand slowly drops from the knob of the cabinet. The colour drains from his face]

Y/N: What?

[Hoseok brings his eyes to the camera, lips parted. He is visibly disturbed. He lifts his right hand. He holds up the pocket watch. Y/N’s breath becomes heavy and labored]

H: [voice small] What the fuck.

[Camera shuts off]

~~~

#189

Duration: 8:32

[Interior. Mid-Day. Hoseok’s car, again. Y/N holds the camera as Hoseok drives, lens pointed out the windshield]

Y/N: Slow down, Hobi.

H: [voice hollow] No. The fucking watch is ticking…and existing. How is any of what just happened possible?

Y/N: I don't know, I don't know.

H: This is fucking twisted.

Y/N: What are you going to do?

H: Leave it in a field? Pawn it off? Whatever, as long as it's far away from me.

Y/N: Why not burn it?

H: Any fire I make wouldn't get the metal hot enough.

Y/N: Just don't get reckless. [Pleading] Please, baby?

[Cut. Interior. A Pawnshop. The camera pans along a shelf. Various objects come into focus. A door opens and an older man comes into view from the back of the store. To the left of the frame, Hoseok walks over and introduces himself]

H: Hi. Uhm, I'm Hoseok. I need to sell a pocket watch?

[The store clerk looks from Hoseok to Y/N]

Clerk: Get your mate to turn the camera off and then we can do business.

[Cut. Interior. Hoseok’s car. Y/N has rested the camera on the dashboard, pointed at the passing scenery]

H: WOOOO! £650 for a shitty old watch!!

Y/N: I think the fact that it was still working was what sold him.

H: Who knows how long it will work for. We practically robbed him.

Y/N: You practically robbed him. I almost got thrown out for having a camera.

H: Eh. He was probably drunk from boredom. I would be, too, if I had to sit in silence eight hours a day.

[Cut. Interior. Night. Hoseok’s kitchen. Hoseok presses play on his answering machine as he takes off his coat. Y/N sits at a chair at the kitchen table and zooms in on a Sainsbury's frozen dinner.]

Y/N: Mmmmmm.

[In the background, a voice is heard on the answering machine.]

Recorded Voice: Mr. Jung. It's Geoff. You sold me a watch not two hours ago. I’d like to make it clear I don't appreciate being fucked with. [Y/N brings the camera around, landing on Hoseok who is paused at his refrigerator staring at the machine, frowning.] I get enough shit in my town, and I certainly don't need non-locals breezing through and pulling pranks. I'm giving you twenty-four hours to return the watch or my money to the store. If you don't, I'm calling the cops and we can settle this with legal action. [Machine beeps]

[Hoseok remains paused at the refrigerator - frozen. He begins to visibly tense and Y/N gets up from the kitchen table. She approaches him slowly, before Hoseok slams the refrigerator door shut and rushes into the living room]

Y/N: [shouts] Hoseok!

H: [yells] Where the fuck is it? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT WITH ME?

[Y/N enters the living room and turns right. Hoseok is standing in front of his mantle, hitting his chest with the flat of his palms. He stares at the ceiling and screams]

H: [still yelling] YOU CAN HAVE YOUR FUCKING WATCH BACK, I DON'T WANT IT.

Y/N: [yelling over Hoseok] HOSEOK, THERE IS NO ONE ELSE HERE.

H: [looks at Y/N] Of course there is! How else would any of this be happening? [Turns abruptly and heads down the hallway. He disappears into his room.

Y/N: Fuck’s sake.

[Y/N follows and enters Hoseok’s room. Hoseok is pulling books out of shelves. He abandons that project and quickly goes to his bed, where he up-turns his mattress]

H: [yelling again] WHERE IS IT, HUH?

Y/N: Hoseok, calm the hell down!

[Hoseok turns and rushes past Y/N. Y/N follows]

Y/N: Hoseok, ripping up the house isn't going to solve anything!

H: It's not in my room, it's not in the kitchen. It makes itself known, right? It wants to fucking be seen. The goddamn ATTENTION WHORE.

Y/N: It's an inanimate object, Hoseok, stop!

[Hoseok stomps into the kitchen and picks up his jacket. He pauses for a moment, softening, and reaches into a pocket. He pulls out the watch]

H: [staring at the watch] Something…someone…whatever…wants me to have this. I don't. Fucking. Want it.

[**In the recorded footage, a voice is heard. It clearly says “But you took it.” Neither Y/N nor Hoseok reacts to it and neither has spoken. This voice was pointed out by YouTube user Sarkozam12**]

[camera turns off]

~~~

#190

Duration: 8:00

[Interior. Night. The couches and chairs have been removed from Hoseok’s living room. Two pillows are placed on the ground, side by side, beneath the coffee table where a ouija board as been set up. The scene is lit by numerous candles along the floor and mantle. Fingers over the microphone cause muffled noises and garbled sounds. Hoseok enters from frame right. He sits, in jeans a tee shirt, on one of the pillows. He takes a swig of cider before setting it next to him. He looks slightly above the camera.]

Y/N: [off camera] This is a terrible idea, Hobi.

H: [solemn] Is the camera set up?

Y/N: [pauses, sighs] Yeah, it's just about.done tightening the tripod.

H: Good.

[Y/N enters from the bottom of frame left. It's a long shot of the living room. Y/N sits next to Hoseok. They look at each other briefly. Hoseok draws his eyes away and onto the Oujia board. Y/N’s brow furrows, and she reaches to twine her fingers with Hoseok’s. The contact has him return his gaze to hers, smiling before he leans in and kisses her deeply. Pulling back, he kisses her knuckles three times. Hoseok’s expression hardens]

H: [quietly] I love you.

Y/N: [smiling; quietly] I’m still not used to you saying that. [pauses] I love you, too.

H: [inhaling deeply] Let's do this.

[Y/N pauses. Hoseok looks at her, concerned.]

H: Don't tell me you're quitting on this.

Y/N: [looks at the ground] Ouija boards are scary, serious shit, Hoseok. I don't think we should fuck around with this. We’ve already fucked up so much shit.

H: [shaking his head] I fucked up. And I just don’t know what other choice I have.

[Y/N pauses briefly, hesitating before leaning in to kiss him once more. They whisper to one another as they break apart, kissing for a few more seconds before separating fully. Pulling her hand from his, she sighs and places both hands on the planchette. Hoseok follows suit and does the same]

H: [uncomfortable] What do I say?

Y/N: [loudly] Is there anyone here with us?

[They remain quiet and wait. The planchette does not move.]

H: What if we contact Zozo? That's the opposite of what I want.

Y/N: [giggling, though her sense of amusement is unconvicing] Don't be stupid.

[Both are silenced by the planchette which has started to move in swirls across the board.]

H: Is that you?

Y/N: No, I'm barely touching this.

H: [shaking his head] It's not me.

[The planchette stops on the word 'Bye']

H: [pauses] Well, that's sinister.

[The video warps into pixels and corrects itself. Three candles have been blown out. Y/N is panicked]

Y/N: What the fuck did that?

H: [loudly] What is your name?

[The planchette moves, quickly. Y/N says the letters it stops on.]

Y/N: L…A…I…R…R…E. D…D…D…E…A…T…H.

H: Lairreedddeath? The hell?

Y/N: I'm busy focusing on the part that - [The video warps. the masked figure from #186 appears behind Hoseok, getting closer after each pixel correction. A white hand with sharp nails reaches for his neck. It disappears] in the fire?

[The Marimba ringtone of an iPhone goes off]

H: Shit. That's mine.

Y/N: Leave it.

[The planchette spins out of control and falls from the table onto the floor. All the candles are blown out at the same time, though there is no wind to disrupt the atmosphere. The camera shifts to night vision. Both draw their attention to the bright light from the camera]

Y/N: Does your camera shift modes automatically?

H: No, what -

[A loud thud is heard, the sound of a door slamming open to the left, its metal knob hitting the wall. The door to what is considered a broom closet has flung open, but its interior is black and occasionally blurred by pixelated static. Y/N turns to look at the noise, but Hoseok disappears from view. We hear him scream]

Y/N: Hoseok?!? [Y/N searches frantically for where the sound is coming from. She turns her attention back to the door, eyes wide in alarm.] Hoseok?

[Y/N gets up and approaches the closet but the door slams shut. The lights of the house come on. Y/N opens the door to the closet. It is just a closet. The tripod falls over. The screen goes blue and flashes NO BATTERY]

~~~

Given the found footage nature of the editing and the allusion by Hoseok that Y/N was proficient in film editing, at least once mentioning the capability of using special effects in post production, many of the initial viewers of #186-190 believed the story of Hoseok’s disappearance was a clever hoax. While this report remains unbiased, it is important to point out several facts.

Firstly, it is true that Jung Hoseok went missing from his shared home April 25, 2010. The phone call received on his mobile during #190 was from his mother, mentioned in Y/F/N Y/L/N’s police report, who had not seen her son since April 11, 2010. Secondly, the pocket watch, and the clothing in which Hoseok disappeared in, have never been found. Until August 2011, the footage captured during #190 depicted the last known whereabouts of Jung Hoseok.

When Y/N deactivated her account, #184-190 was removed from YouTube in accordance with YouTube’s privacy policies, however not before user TwerK had downloaded the video to a flash drive. In June of 2010, the video was uploaded to Kim Taehyung’s channel, with reasons citing the urgency for fans and interested parties to continue to study the video - i.e in search of clues or proof of a hoax. It is worth noting that while there is a well documented friendship and romantic relationship between Euripet3s1 and theJungProject (ie: both were subscribers to each other's channels, the earliest comments on each party's videos date back to 2008, Euripet3s1 tagged theJungProject in a video called Top 10 Films of 2009, etc) TwerK did not subscribe to either channel, nor has he confessed to knowing either personally.

It is because of these reasons that the footage in Help Explain This is, in a word, astounding. The film itself was uploaded with a description consisting of a personal plea from Taehyung to help explain what he had caught. Once the video was live, Taehyung experienced a brief period of notoriety on the internet, while simultaneously going under fire by those close to Hoseok who called his video 'tactless and offensive.'

It is also worth noting that Y/N has become reclusive since these events and has not been available for comment since late 2010, on advice from her therapist.

Help Explain This

Duration: 4:03

[Interior. Mid-Day. Footsteps thud up the stairs of Borley Rectory. The camera is pointed at the landing, but the painting is gone. The person arrives at the landing and he speaks. He is Korean.]

T: Okay. So. Kim Taehyung here. I’m sorry in advance for any English mistakes, but a few subscribers wanted me to visit the rectory while I am here on vacation. Yes, yes, I know it's weird that my YouTube channel only has one video on it, but some of you on Reddit convinced me to make this. Here we are [Camera pans right to left, light pours in from holes in the ceiling. The home appears to be empty.]. Exact same spot where Euripet3s1 stood. As you can see there is no painting on the wall. Ehm.

[He turns to his left and enters the bedroom, panning the camera right to left as Y/N had done. A naked figure stands in the back right corner of the bedroom, his back to the camera, facing the wall]

T: Again, the room is completely empty. The walls are badly burned. I know you all want to believe this was a hoax, but there's no way these two had the budget. You can't even get up the stairs easily without worrying about falling through.

[He turns left, zooming to an extreme long shot. The right side of the room out of frame.]

T: This is where theJungProject found the pocket watch. No chest of drawers here. [Camera pans down, showing his feet] You can see the boards of the floor are burned. I'm too afraid to even put weight there. [He presses his foot to the floor, retracting it immediately.]

[Raising the camera, he turns the camera back to right, slightly, showing the whole of the room. The figure from the corner has turned around and is standing naked in a full body shot. The camera pixelates. The figure is now close to the lens, able to be viewed from the middle of the waist up. His mouth and eyes are wide open, but blackened as though holes. The figure is clearly Jung Hoseok.]

T: That's it, then. Sorry the video was so lame.

[He turns and leaves the room. The camera does one last pan from the landing back to the room. The foyer below is empty. The room he had just exited is empty]

Fin.

Author’s Note #2: The locations in this story - Borley Rectory, Boxer's Lake, Liverpool Street Station, Suffolk, and Sudbury - are all real places. Borley Rectory was known as 'the most haunted house in England' and it did get severely burned in 1939. There is actually a woman who haunted the building named Marie Lairre.

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