#HAVING ACCESS TO THE INTERNET BUT i think my research is sound enough for tumblr

[botwstoriesandsuch]

HEYA WHO WANTS TO LEARN ABOUT GRASS AND VOLCANOES

Yes I'm alive and yes I'm making posts and music again. Ok so moving on HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GRASS???

This patch of grass is from a Youtube video by Quincyvhs ranking grass in Tears of the Kingdom. He's a cool guy and has a similar video on Breath of the Wild and I highly recommend you watch it cause his editing is very cool.

HOWEVER. He made an egregious error today by ranking this patch of grass, this lovely, magnificent, extraordinary patch of grass upon Death Mountain as a mere B Tier. It clearly is an S Tier.

How do I know this? Well this patch of grass indicates miracles. It indicates determination. It indicates the spirit of adventure, of change, of liberty and mayhaps even the purest form of happiness the world round...

...and as later corroborated by the actual geologist that I am dating, it is an indication of the massive shift in Hyrule's ecosystem and climate.

Let's Begin.

Using my ace detective skills I have located the site in question in both Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom (Botw and Totk). The general consensus is that there is a 5~ year time gap between the two games.

Given that the grass does not exist here in Botw, this means that this patch of grass took at maximum 5 years to grow. However, I'm going to prove that it probably took even less time than even that.

Below is the site on Botw's Map:

We are unable to get an accurate temperature reading of the area because the Sheikah Slate decided to give up. So we're going to use science to determine this soon to be important number

Given that wood near instantly ignites at this location in Botw, we can conclude that the temperature in the air is around 370 degrees Celcius or 700 degrees Fahrenheit.

Now typically, rock and soil serve as good insulators of heat, so the air temperature around a volcano itself isnot usually that much higher than the ambient temperature (unless you are actively within a Pyroclastic flow, which would be a more pressing problem than analyzing grass to say the least)

However, when near the presence of lava, that temperature of the air can actually reach up to 1000 degrees Celcius (1800F) so this reading is actually even more reasonable when you note that we are in good distance of the Medingo Lava Pool.

Conversely, we can actually grab an active temperature reading of the area during the time of Totk thanks to the Purah Pad.

It's 102 degrees Fahrenheit.

Easy. Simple. Fantastic. I love when my job doesn't require four hours of research for every single question!

Anyhow, here are some figures from the Oregon State Volcanology Laboratory on the rate of lava cooling

Yes this post is still about grass, stay with me.

To truly appreciate the glory of science and the glory of this patch of grass, we are going to calculate the exact amount of time needed for the temperatures to lower on Death Mountain to one sustanable for growth (That being around 100 degrees Farenheit).

SPOILER ALERT: It takes less than 5 years. This is insanely impressive considering grass of this type* typically takes DECADES.

Anyhow, The Figure 2 and 3 have to do with the depth of the lava, and Figure 4 deals with the thickness. (Many thanks again to my partner for providing their geological expertise and resources)

The thickness of the Medingo Lava is very easy to calculate given that Link can literally jump in with a splash and drown in it like the world's worst hot tub--the bitch ain't thick at all. So we use the lowest listed reading for that.

The depth of the lava is more tricky, but comparing the lava pool in Botw and Totk, and using Link as a marker of around 5 feet, we can say that the pool is around 10 feet deep.

Therefore, the Medingo Lava Pool took around 2-3 years to cool after Death Mountain stopped erupting.

Now when exactly did Death Mountain stop erupting?

According to the catalog of Volcanoes of the World by the Smithsonian Institution, 93% of volcanos stop erupting within 3 years.

Now I know that Death Mountain only started erupting because of the return of the Divine Beast Vah Rudania, and Link only "stops" the eruption of Death Mountain by defeating it. So one could argue that Death Mountain's "eruption" had to be less than a year or something.

My rebuttal to that would be 1) Within the game's canon, I don't see how we could justify Link taking one day, or even one month to wake up from the Great Plateau, travel immeidately all the way to Death Mountain. and then tame the Divine Beast in less than a month, and 2) Link didn't really stop shit because we can clearly still see active lava flow after taming Rudania. He only stopped the rock falls caused by the Divine Beast, the actual activity of Death Mountain still continues.

Given its insane size, I am going to say it took the full 3 years for its active lava flow to stop on Death Mountain. Volconologists in the notes, feel free to correct me.

SO! The Timeline is:

3 years for Death Mountain to stop actively flowing

2 years minimum for Medingo Lava Pool to cool

= >1 year for temperatures to be right for grass to grow!

This is an insanely quick time period for grass to thrive! The literal instant that the conditions were correct, we are able to see not just grass, but stoloniferous grass as well other types of shrubbery thrive! We would usually need several years for the volcanic rock to erode to rich soil (such as the soil in the Akkala region)

Allow me to elaborate:

This is Fountain Grass. Fountain grass is usually the fist type of grass that you would see in a volcanic region. They grow from a rhizome root system, which is a very vertical downward root system as you can see. This is good for young volcanic regions where only specific dotted areas are good enough for plants to grip onto and grow.

They grow something like this:

This patch of grass below I would call some sort of rhizome. (Botanists feel free to correct me in the notes)

THIS. however. (amazingly) is an example of stoloniferous grass!

This is thick bladed grass (as opposed to the more thin, fine-bladed grass with rhizomes) that grow in a stolon spreading pattern that is much more horizontal. It's a lot like the grass that might grow in your front lawn, if you're rich enough to have one of those in this economy--

They grow a bit more like this:

This type of grass need soil! Especially if we want to classify that other red flower behind the rock there as some sort of volcanic flower

We're basically talking about mass, rapid volcanic erosion in less than a year for this to happen. For context, the soil necessary for the region of Akkala to grow could have taken anywhere between a decade to thousands of years. The weather and erosion necessary for this patch of grass to grow took, at most, 3 years.

And all this in the period of time following an actual apocalypse. How quickly the tides have turned for Hyrule's ecosystem!!!!

IT'S A VERY IMPRESSIVE AND COOL PATCH OF GRASS AND THUS IS DESERVING OF THE S TIER RANKING

Also here's some behind the scenes of what my much smarter than me partner had to say about it ["Last pictures referencing the rhizome grass which, indeed, would be the oldest grass among the patch given it needs the least specific conditions to thrive/less soil to get started]

Growth is cool.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi. I’m sending this anonymously but if tumblr glitches and it isn’t anonymous please don’t post this because I’m absolutely completely entirely mortified.

I’m 20 FtM. About a year and a half ago, when I moved out and started at college, I discovered fandom, and began to get really into reading fics on AO3. My parents had heavily restricted my internet access growing up, and as new adult I began to discovered the barrage of content online.

Soon enough, I was spending about an hour or two every night reading smut fics. I never thought anything of it, because, well, it’s just words, it’s not *actually* porn, right?

Recently I did start watching some explicit videos but tried to limit myself to only once or twice a month because the shame I felt as well as the strange dissatisfaction just wasn’t worth it.

After doing some research, I found a study that said that watching porn for more than an hour a week was unhealthy. I thought, yeah, okay, fair enough.

Then I realised: does my fanfiction reading count as pornography?

I kept thinking to myself that because it was text it didn’t count, but —does it? Is that the reason that lately I’ve been feeling strangely dissatisfied and empty after reading/watching? Will I feel like this when I eventually have sex?? (still a virgin, mainly for dysphoria reasons)

I found all this stuff online that says porn addictions can screw you over for life, that you can’t find sexual satisfaction with a partner.

Should I cut back?

I don’t normally masturbate while consuming porn. I feel too ashamed. I normally just sit there and read/watch.

Am I a porn addict?????? Should I quit reading smut? Help.

If you can’t tell, I wasn’t raised in a very sex positive environment and I feel very ashamed. I don’t really know who to talk to and I just feel very guilty so I’m resorting to an anonymous ask on Tumblr.

If you read this, thank you for taking the time. I appreciate it.

— Jason

hi Jason,

I don't think you're a porn addict. I think you're probably just an anxious 20 year old from a pretty restrictive background and now that you have a little more freedom you're kind of nervous about it, which is very normal.

I want to be super clear: written porn is porn. porn is any sexually explicit material designed to titillate; it's existed since WAY before the moving picture existed and it will exist long after the internet has crumbled to dust. people like porn! and it's okay to like porn. the text-based stuff is particularly high on the list of porn that's pretty unambiguously fine, morally-speaking, because you never have to worry that the performer you're watching has had their video stolen by pornhub or that, god forbid, anyone onscreen isn't a willing participant, but I want to be super clear that liking sexually explicit photos or videos of real people is also 100% fine.

obviously I have no idea what study you read, but I'd be cautious about any study being boiled down to such black and white, attention-grabbing headlines. you can interpret a study to mean virtually anything if you want to, and there are a lot of interest groups with a vested interest in demonizing porn. if reading smutty fan fic makes you happy and isn't interfering with the rest of your life, you should do that.

unfortunately it sounds like it's not making you happy lately, dissatisfied and empty feelings. in the kindest way possible, I don't think much of that is being caused by the porn itself. it sounds like it's coming from your gnawing worry that you're a porn addict. maybe it's best to take a little step away from porn and smutty fic for a while, if only until you feel able to engage with it without feeling bad.

also, speaking of porn addiction: that's a very dubious condition, and one that's not scientifically or medically recognized. to be certain, people can develop a reliance on porn that disrupts their daily function and can wreak havoc on their lives, but that's true of anything that causes your brain to spit out happy chemicals. anything that become a maladaptive coping mechanism, including and especially things that are fine and even necessary in small doses. sleeping, exercising, and going shopping are all things that can be life-ruining if done to harmful excess, but that doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong if you like to sleep in, go for runs, or browse your favorite online stores every once in a while.

if reading smut isn't causing you to skip out on your more important obligations, fail to take care of yourself, or bringing on bankruptcy, I think you're probably alright. the biggest danger I see here is you beating yourself over the head with your own anxiety about this, which may be a sign that it's a good idea to take a step back for entirely different reasons than you were worried about.

[the-navistar-carol]

here from zee's blog. don't worry about answering if its too personal, but how did you know you were ace? did the whole romance vs. sexual thing confuse you too? going through my own thing rn and idk how to articulate it but i feel like advice coming from a person that i know, in however limited of a scope, would help, as opposed to an informational post (they have been helpful too! its just not what im looking for rn).

Hey, anon! I have a funny story about how I realized I was ace, actually — and it’s funny because it’s completely ass backwards from anyone else. To TL;DR it, yes, romance vs sex confuses the shit out of me still. Like, how can someone look at someone else (even someone they don’t know) and be like “smash” ?????? How does it go further than aesthetic??? Than “oo pretty person! moving on” ?????

Content warning, I talk about boobs below the cut.

But the story of how I realized I was ace goes something like this.

I didn’t know that being LGBTQ+ was a thing until seventh grade. Like at all. Age twelve. Had never heard about people being gay. My parents are not homophobic, they are accepting of who I am, but for some reason -- LGBTQ+ things were never brought up in the house. But age twelve. That was the year I got a wider group of friends and also had wider internet access. What did I do with it, you may ask? Print memes off of Pinterest and carried them in a binder to show my friends. I am not joking.

But in this Pinterest rabbit hole, I discovered the glory of crossposted Tumblr textpost memes. Like old Tumblr memes. Having-the-old-format old. And alongside these memes like the dancing Spiderman and none pizza with left beef was some pretty profound shit. Like the ol’ “biggest gaudiest patronuses,” the “the day after i killed myself” poem, all that jazz. And in that category of profound was a bootlegged post about asexuality.

“Huh,” twelve-year-old me said, taking all of fifteen minutes to think about it. “That sounds pretty accurate!”

While I have not looked back since, it gets funnier every year that that is how I figured it out. Because for the first three years or so, I was carrying around the label with just the knowledge of what it was, not really thinking about it whatsoever despite it being as true as the color of the grass in California. (Brown.) It was only when I hit sophomore year or so that I actually began to realize hang on, I was actually on to something here and that there was actually — shocker — a lot more about me that fit with the ace label. I got bored when making out with an ex. I got BORED. MAKING OUT. That was the funniest one.

To TL;DR that — I never had the feeling of “oh no I’m broken, I don’t feel this emotion” because I slapped the label on myself and then discovered I actually fit into it after the fact. I’m probably not the best person to ask “hey how did you know you were ace” because I discovered more about being ace after already labeling myself as such. But I did write a research paper on asexuality, if someone ever wants to read that for some reason.

…..i did not answer your question.

About the romance versus sex thing: it absolutely still confuses me. Tinder is a huge confuser. Why. Why the hell. Hookups. Why. Why the hell. Is it not enough to listen to someone ramble about something they're passionate about? Love is stored in the infodumps.

My last ex was not ace, I have not dated someone ace because finding ace men is actually quite hard. But there was a point near the end of our relationship when he wanted to see my boobs (like with a bra on, not nude from the waist up). I got nothing out of it, but shrugged and went “sure” because,,,, ehh???? It’s just,,,,,, boobs? They sure as hell don’t make me horny, so I had no problem temporarily showing off things that didn’t affect me lmfao

People, to me, are like paintings and dogs. They’re like paintings in the sense that I can stop and admire someone, even for a while, but I’ll eventually walk away. They’re like dogs in the sense that I want to cuddle and hold hands and do soft things with them, but I wouldn’t fuck a dog, to put it crudely. Also, I get tired of hanging out with people after a while, but that’s also because I’m autistic and a whole other can of worms.

Hope this helped?

[midnightwriteson]

Bad Habits - World Building 1

Just something I was thinking of when I was updating Bad Habits. While I've been reading BDSM stories and doing research here and there over the years, this is the first time I've delved into writing it. I'll keep saying it, I'm not perfect, I may make mistakes, but I'm going to be true to it as much as possible.

First off, I'm not going to expect everyone to know what BDSM is, so we're going to start off with a little bit of a definition. Essentially BDSM is very much a multi-faceted acronym. BD stands for Bondage and Discipline, DS is Dominance and Submission, and SM is Sadism/Masochism. To keep from getting flagged on Tumblr I'm not going to get into the mechanics of all of that, but I will say that Bad Habits with mostly get into the BD and the DS portion of it. You can find a lot of research online if you want to learn more, but also know that the internet is not always accurate or people are highly opinionated on certain subjects and this one is included, so take what you read with an open mind. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In my world we're going to focus on two BDSM clubs:

-Cloud Reassess - will be the club owned by Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji. Even though in canon it's the home to the Gusu Lan Clan, I just thought the name and the association of the clouds/sky as an allusion to transcendence or ecstasy interesting. The majority of the main cast of MDZS will be associated with this club. It's a club with a stellar reputation and while their may be some boarder line possibly dubious content, my focus is to show a positive interaction and play in the club. While my focus will be the relationship between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, if there's enough interest in the other pairings, I may write little interludes or side stories.

-Nevernight - Will be the club owned by the Wen Clan. On thing I've picked up from watching the Donghua is that the translation they use for the Wen's home is Nevernight. I don't know what the direct translation, but more often than not I see Nightless City. I personally like Nevernight better. Sounds cooler to me so this story is giving me the opportunity to use it. I will make it clear that most of what will be associated with Nevernight will not be good practices of BDSM. The Wen will be my villains in this story as they often are and I do not condone the activities that come up in this place. I feel to be realistic to what goes on and while I know plenty of the BDSM community will not like it, it's sadly something that does occur. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cloud Reassess Bracelet System: I wanted a non-verbal way to show acceptable activities and conduct on sight. More than one can be worn if you want to communicate a mix of things looking for in the night, but I tried to keep them pretty divided. My mind keeps going to those stretchy type bracelets that used to have words on them. Something easy to take on and off and interchangeable as people change their mind. I settled on the image below (they are plain without words just colorful):

These are of course something that I jotted down while brainstorming, so these might be edited as new things come up, but so you have access to the color code, here's what I have so far: Red - Observing Only (No participating and not to approach for a scene.) Orange - Touching/Making Out Allowed (This is to be more open to exploring with a partner but not going all the way) Yellow - All Vanilla Activities Allowed in Private (Open to sex and more intimate practices in private) Green - Adding Bondage/Negotiating Lighter Kinks In Private Blue - Okay with all the above and bringing things public/Likes to watch Indigo - Open to discuss odder kinks/fetishes Violet - Looking for harder play/kinks (like S/M or pain play) White - Staff On Duty/Off Limits (Usually worn with other colored bracelets to show what staff is open to. Unable to act on it while on the clock, but able to discuss if interested. Most staff are in committed relationships however.) Black - Taken/In committed partnerships/relationships. Can be worn with other colors to signify an open relationship or willingness to bring someone else into a scene between committed partners, but alone means completely off limits under all circumstances and will get you booted from the club for trying

Also if you all think of something I miss on the scale, I'm happy to add to the list or create another color. I feel like there is so much that could be explored here, so feel free to drop the suggestion either in a DM here, on the story comments, or even in my discord. I will be back with more World Building and probably talk some BDSM terms at a later date.

[eunoiamaybe]

my “sort-of-complete” online classes and exams tips

This is a longer-than-usual post with tips for the 3 stages of online classes: focusing during an online class session, reviewing/studying for online classes, and preparing for online exams/ quizzes. So I decided to insert the “Read More” link to (a) not take up too much space on your dash, and (b) feel more confident in adding more tips as time goes on.

These are tips that I’ve compiled from my experience of taking online classes during my last 1.5 years at university. But having all of your courses moved online is so much more complicated. Since I’m currently doing an internship, I have tried my best to produce this post based on the comments of my friends IRL and on Tumblr (hence the “my”). However, I hope it can still be useful for you and many who were all abruptly put in this same situation.

So feel free to share your own tips and experience! I will probably go back to this once in a while to make some changes to it and add your tips. Good luck to everyone who is currently/ about to take online classes. You are almost there! 🍀 I believe in every single one of you!

~  Click away for them tips   ~

💻 DURING ONLINE CLASS SESSIONS:

- try to treat online classes the same as an in-person class, especially time-wise (set a specific time for each class and plan your own class schedule. even better, study for your classes at the same time they used to be held. this will create a sense of routine and trigger the brain's normal reactions to your usual class - which is to study)

- don’t be afraid to fix your plan/ schedule (aka don’t force yourself into one if it doesn’t work for you) (trials and errors, my friend. this applies to plans too. there’s no shame in not being able to keep up with the schedule you’ve made. if you’ve tried or if it hurts you mentally or physically, then that schedule is just not the one for you. everybody has their unique strengths and weaknesses. one’s perfect system might not suit another. finding a system that works for you takes time, patience, and courage. but it will be absolutely worth it)

- find a good spot with enough light and stable wifi (if you have multiple options, select the one that would make you most comfortable, most focused, and confident enough to take online tests/quizzes/exams at - create your “exam space” in advance to reduce the anxiety of tests and unfamiliarity)

- study at a desk, if possible (studying at a desk, with good posture, mimics the feeling of being in a classroom or the library. thus, it will create a sense of routine and help you focus better)  

- accommodate yourself (I’m all about making the best out of a bad situation, and this is one way to do it.  accommodate yourself, not just with comfort, but also with actual necessities that you cannot usually get in your usual classroom/library due to whatever reason. stress balls, stim toys, positivity cards, calming music/candles. comforting plushies. chewing gum. as long as it helps you focus better, it's on the table)

- get dressed (this will bring out that sense of structure and routine that you need. put on your normal outfits, uniforms and even perfume. trick your mind into being focused)

- minimize distractions (declutter your study space. put your phone out of reach. turn off notifications. close all other tabs on your browser. select non-distracting music/ sounds. don’t spam or pay attention to spams in your classes’ chatboxes. only bring along items that are absolutely vital to your focus)

- take notes, even if you can record your lessons and/or access the lessons later (it can either be digital notes or handwritten notes on paper - your call. this will force you to focus and prevent you from zoning out/ being distracted)

- be actively engaged in the lecture (if there are technical problems or if you have questions, chatbox away. this is also good practice for people with social anxiety too: the fact that you are in your home and behind the screen can make it easier for you to ask for help)

- if possible, put your teachers/profs on the big screen to create the illusion of being in a lecture (if your study spot has a TV/projector that can connect to your laptop and quality speakers, do it. it's more fun than you'd think. also super stimulating and kicks the boredom out of you too)

- if not, use headphones/ earphones (speakers can create a feeling of distance between the lecture and yourself. combined with unstable internet and/or monotonous voices of some instructors, this may result in your brain classifying your lecture as background noises and zone out. so use headphones or earphones with the appropriate volume for that optimal focus mode)

- give yourself breaks between classes (don't cram all your classes in one morning. but don't procrastinate either. time your breaks. look at something else besides a computer or phone screen while you’re on break too. maybe brew some tea/coffee for your next class or rearrange your notes from the previous one)

💻 REVIEWING FOR ONLINE CLASSES:

- make a schedule/ system - and be ready to change them (this is an elaboration of an earlier tip. your system doesn’t have to work perfectly right away. most of the time, you will have to make some kind of adjustments to it anyway. so take it easy. pay attention to how well you react/ adapt to the new schedule so that you can make necessary changes. and give yourself - especially your mind - some time to adapt to the schedule. don’t rush yourself or put too much pressure on being productive. remember to take care of your well-being too)

- it’s okay to give yourself some off-days (that’s the beauty of not having any physical or even abstract structure that forces you into an inescapable routine. Yes, I know this lack of structure sucks for a lot of us, especially for those who rely on external forces to keep themselves focused. But look on the bright side: now you don’t have to worry about missing classes or losing participation marks when you are unwell physically and mentally anymore)

- textbooks are your friends now (especially when your classes’ live-streams are just chaotic and hard to follow. or when the pre-recorded lectures aren’t loading properly and keeps lagging. practice speed reading. look for keywords and crucial information. take notes rather than highlighting everything. compare them to your lecture notes, your syllabus, or your friends’)

- take advantage of the online format’s availability + other resources (availability is here, baby! revisit lecture videos and podcasts as many times as you need to. check your email classes’ forums regularly for questions or announcements. re-listen to your lecture when you're cleaning or exercising. watch videos of Khan Academy or CrashCourse. look for online tutors. study at your own pace and in your own style. basically anything you wish you could do when your class was in-person)

- there’s no need to submit assignments early if it’s anxiety-inducing. but make a schedule/ tracking system/ set alarms to avoid forgetting to turn them in (take your time to double-check or edit your work - as long as the submission box is still open, of course. set aside about an hour or two before the deadline for submission to avoid any technical difficulties. and remember to start working on them early so that you don’t have to shorten that window of time and have more time for double-checking)

- don't be afraid to email the profs/teachers (if possible, compile your questions into a list. be as specific as you can about your concerns. put a subject for your email to reduces the chance of your email getting lost in your instructors' inbox.)

- reward yourself (don't stress yourself out by rewarding big accomplishments. reward small victories. reward baby steps. reward effort. you'll get things done eventually)

- take time to know your learning style (when are you most focused? do you like taking digital notes or do you prefer pen and paper? are you a visual or an auditory learner? do you like moving around while studying? what drinks or scents or sounds keep you going? you don't have to stick to your usual study methods or an online/paperless one now that you are studying in your own room)

- listen to your mind and body (it’s okay to feel a bit lost) (from my own experience, times that are without structure like nowadays is when most of us fall into this spiraling downfall of unhealthy sleep schedules, lethargy, and loss of purpose. so please take care of your mental and physical well-being during this very, very weird time. keep yourself active. re-ignite old interests/ hobbies. connect with people you love. give yourself some love)

- and more tips on productivity at home in my last post right here

💻 PREPARING FOR ONLINE EXAMS / QUIZZES:

- make a list of all the online exams and final assignment due dates (this will help you keep track of and stay on top of them due dates. from that list, trace backward to make a review or study plan to prepare for the tests and work on the assignments. if there are any time conflicts, especially for those who are now living in a different timezone from their schools or colleges, email the instructors to seek solutions or alternative options)

- again, find a good spot with good wifi, good lighting, and a desk (if possible, try to recreate your ideal exam environment as closely as you can while studying and reviewing for the exams. this can reduce the anxiety of tests and/or unfamiliarity)

- be prepared for technical difficulties (especially mentally, so that you don’t plan out a course of action to take if they ever arise. draft an email template. research in advance the contacts of people whom you can report to - IT personnel, your instructors, student office, etc.)

- bring everything you need to the exams - but no distractions (like mentioned earlier, if you need any special accommodations that are considered "unacceptable" in an in-person exam/quiz, now it's the time to bring them along - you’re in charge of your test space now, so make it as comfortable and accomodating as you want)

- plan your desk set-up prior to your exams (so many extra items. still so little desk space. therefore, plan ahead so your desk does not turn into a mess when you take your exams. plan where you want to put your notes, textbooks, calculators or scrap paper. think about how much use you’re gonna get out of each item and place them within or slightly-out-of reach accordingly. charge your laptop. sharpen your pencils. have your backup stationery handy. lay out everything you need onto your desk the night before your tests. this can create a feeling of preparedness and thus, reduce anxiety as well)

- make cheatsheets (the goals when making them are simple: (1) get you to rewrite your notes for that good memorization; (2) condense your information and find a connection between them for a thorough understanding of the materials; (3) reduce the time you use to flip through your notebooks or textbooks or google for information during the actual tests)

- time yourself with mock exams (if you are given mock exams to practice with, do them, with a timer. this will help you familiarize yourself with the stress of being timed, thus reducing your anxiety during the actual tests)

- get enough sleep and eat properly (even if the exams or quizzes are online, they are still, at their core, tests. and tests are always stressful and energy-consuming. so take care of both your physical and mental health, especially during the week leading up to your exams)

[tenduw]

How not to make a terrible Hetalia OC

Hi y’all, I feel like this really needs to be said, cause I was looking at different hetalia OCs the other day, and ngl many of them were, well, terrible.

First off, before I begin with my guide to making a decent oc, can I just say that any one of us can create an oc, in fact I would encourage people to. One problem with the hetalia fandom is that other than Scotland, Yugotalia and South America (somewhat) we haven’t really done our research when it comes to creating ocs and it really shows.

1)      Research – I do feel like some of you spend too much time looking at stereotypes of different countries and not enough time doing actual research. I am going to show you 2 different pictures here (Example 1 and 2 are below.) Notice the difference? Someone clearly researched into the issues faced by South Africa and decided on a way to come to a neutral outcome, whilst someone else didn’t do any research and decided that a White person was the best way to represent an entire population in Africa. Please research into the culture and history of the country when deciding to create the OC as if anything that would help you to try and understand the character you are attempting to draw or write. Also look at the hetalia tumblr or Instagram tag for the character as there might be an OC that you really like! I did so, and found really cool ocs by @disaster-fruit and @portu-cale! Then if this happens, there's already an oc you can see as the country! Just make sure to contact and credit the artist in any art you may produce.

2)      Ask -  Also remember that research doesn’t just apply to the internet! If you have a friend or some of your family members are from that country and have been there, then ask them about the culture! Not only that, but I’d suggest you also check out the country’s reddit, as there is a bunch of stuff you can find there which helps to gain a general understanding about what might actually be offensive and what won’t be. Also, I’d check out the tumblr tag for the country as well – really interesting facts about the country tend to come up.

3)      What you are creating the oc for – Are you creating an OC for a fanfiction or fanart? Depending on which one you are looking at then your research differs. Fanart requires you to be respectful towards the country, and obviously this is where most people in the fandom fall short – as you are literally drawing a representation of the country. Fanfiction in contrast tends to be more about characterisation, so rather than just make up a personality for the country, I would suggest that you read the history and facts about the country before creating a character for them. The thing about personified nations is that none of them are good or bad – they’re morally grey, so it’s important to do your research when deciding how exactly they are in this category. Patient Harmony on Fanfiction.net actually does this really well, and if you’re over 16 and are into the darker side of the fandom, I’d suggest checking them out!

4)      Think – Please think about what you are creating. This is most important when it comes to two areas – Colouring and Controversy. I’ll cover those in the next two points. Just remember to think before you create – what countries should I draw cutesy fanart for and which ones should I not draw it for? Also, think about the human names for the countries. You do have to look at names from the country you are creating an oc for – why the hell would Wales’ name be Victoria or Israel’s name Tal Haviv? Giving a oc of a nation an anglicised or Americanised name or making up a name because it sounds like the nation’s capital is just plain disrespectful. Also, please do research whatever name you do end up using as for example if Mexico was called Porfirio, you might not realise the problem with the name, but most Mexican fans of the show would. So do think about what you’re coming up with – And if something doesn’t feel right, then research it!

5)      Colouring – What skin tone are they? This seems to be the hardest thing for the hetalia fandom to comprehend and I can empathise to an extent. Of course, if the country is particularly diverse, such as Uganda then it will be somewhat challenging to come up with a skin tone for them. However completely whitewashing the country, like an ungodly amount of people have done with aph Mexico is ridiculous. Not everyone is white, in fact most people aren’t white – Just because you and your neighbourhood may be doesn’t mean that the entire world is! If you think that everyone is one skin tone then you need to get the hell out of whatever special rock you were living under. There are hundreds if not thousands of skin tones out there, and people do not either look like this: (is below) Or this: (is below) So if the OC you’re going to create is black, you don’t need to paint them the darkest shade of brown that you have. You also should avoid making them orange – If someone is from Africa, they are not orange! Likewise if someone is from Native America then don’t make their skin yellow! One thing in general that might help y’all out is if when creating your oc, you search on google images ‘X country people’ and see the results. JUST DON’T MAKE THE CHARACTER WHITE CAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

Also, I don't know why someone created an entire south America oc, nor do I understand why people keep making statetalia ocs

6)      Controversy – Now this one is going to be kind of long, but it really needs to be addressed. Just because you’re creating ocs for hetalia doesn’t mean that ALL stereotypes about the country need to be the main thing about the oc. Stereotypes about Italians loving pasta or the English loving tea are NOT the same as Mexicans being fence hoppers or the entire continent of Africa being malnourished. Like I’ve said many times already, do your research. An important thing to note, is that most of these stereotypes were made by 1st world countries and so naturally the most offensive ones are about the ethnicities that struggle to get any form of positive representation in the media. Another thing that needs to be addressed – Would you make fanart about any recent terror attacks? No? Then don’t make ocs that would have solely come about as a result of a disastrous event (e.g. Chernobyl). Also, you have to be reaaalllly careful when it comes to quite a few nations. Like Yemen and Palestine. It just feels really insensitive to draw cutesy fanart when their people are being targeted and insensitivity already is a major problem with the fandom. It’s 2020, not 2010 and it’s important to remember that!

7)      Try – Another problem with the hetalia fandom is that most people just stray away from non-european countries. On google, it says there are 196 countries in the world and if you add all of the micronations, you easily have more than 200 ‘nations’. The thing is, the countries that we keep missing out all have their own histories and cultures – this is a constant. I personally see hetalia as a series which serves to show that not all history is depressing and gory – it can be funny and amusing too! And it’s not just Europe that has amusing aspects to it’s history and culture. Where’s the jollof rice war between Nigeria and Ghana? Or the confusion surrounding how many islands Indonesia has? Creating ocs for the world’s countries literally means that what you draw doesn’t need to be as limited – You can have a BRICS meeting, or have a meeting between the African Union. Hetalia literally has a worldwide fanbase and wouldn’t it be interesting if we could spread more countries to the fans outside of the canon countries in the show? Shouldn’t it be our goal as fans of a show about different nations and cultures to introduce people to as many cultures as possible? So I encourage you guys to try with hetalia OCs – Just maybe run it by other people before making it public and MAKE SURE YOU DO YOUR RESEARCH.

It isn’t hard to create an OC, in fact I’d say it’s a bit easier for hetalia because we have access to everything we need to make one.

I hope this helps ^^

[incarnateirony]

I’m seriously tempted to just start blocking people who unironically reblog-comment or tag things with “queerbait” that aren’t in the ballpark of what that word fucking means anymore. Because with my recent blood pressure, self care is essential, and I don’t have time to explain to every child on the internet What Words Mean rather than What Socially Aware Dialogues Fandom Has Misappropriated To Abuse In Conversation For Personal Wants and Liminal Gains or, for that matter, How The Representation Battle and LGBT Cinema History Actually Looks.

But I am most definitely exhausted with people stealing content posts pointing out problems in *fandom* perception issues only to, completely unironically, show the same perception issues, just framed in frilly socially aware sounding dialogue that they think hides the queerphobia and queer deletion they personally choose to partake in because they wanna argue with idiots and that’s what’s actually important to them.

Seriously. What the fuck. How can there be SO MANY people SO FUCKING IGNORANT to the actual history of the situation -- be it microcosm of a show or macrocosm of the entire LGBT representation fight -- and SO out of tune with what words they use all the time actually mean -- that they think maintaining a mass hysterical tone entitles them to shit and will Tulpa it into existence and warp the entire rule book. How do they think warping the rule book to LGBT and LGBT history disservice is allyship. What fucking loon normalized this. Oh my god. How are there so many people yelling about representation that haven’t even watched or read Celluloid Closet. How are there so many people echoing shit they were convinced sounded good by some other person in the echo chamber.

Like I want shit too. I’m mad the field is unlevel too. That’s why it’s a goddamn representation fight, not a representation twitter/tumblr trend, or trend in general. How are there so many people claiming they’re here for the representation fight and then simultaneously acting like there isn’t a goddamn fight and that there’s a magic clap on clap of that lets queer creators do whatever the fuck they want. How are there so many people willing to delete the pleas or even sociopolitical commentary OF queer creators while saying they’re representing them. I--

Also the bogus extremization of “You’re settling.” No, motherfucker, I’m not. Because between the two of us, completely theoretical person, I’m the person in this battle for the long haul, not just for a convenient point post of personal satisfaction to argue with a tinfoil clad jackass and feel vindicated online. The person that’s going to be involved in this long after this show, much less being aware and involved long before. Of the two of us, I’m the person who realizes deleting our current progress, just because it isn’t the face of it I want, isn’t fucking activism. I’m sure that buzz accusation and gaslight bullshit sounded great when you mimicked it off the last jackass you saw use it, but it doesn’t actually work if your head is anywhere in the realm of the reality of the situation.

You can simultaneously be mad and want more, while NOT deleting progress to date just because it wasn’t “enough” for you. Actually, you know, THATS HOW IT FUCKING WORKS YOU QUEERPHOBIC, GOALPOST SHIFTING, LGBT-OBSTACLE-TILTING PLEBS.

The fucking narcissistic audacity that someone pulled a “talk is talk walk is walk” about the actual feet on the ground activism one of our authors is known for, while that person unironically spewed online about emotions and feelings and not knowing where shit starts. One is walking, one is talking, and hint, the walking one is not the creature screeching on tumblr without investing any effort or an iota of research. That’s not a battle. That’s not activism. That’s petty ship war *bullshit.*

You wanna make change? Organize groups. Groups that contact corporations, don’t just scream into a void or at the easiest and most accessible target even if deep down you goddamn know better. Put together demographic evidence of being the high yield potential because I don’t care what perfect world you want to live in, we live in a capitalistic world and companies act on money, not ethics. Get involved in production. Lobby teams to open their options. Become an actual queer writer. Get involved on the inside and see what it takes to lay down groundwork to even tilt things at all. Can’t do any of that? Lift the work of the queer creatives, heed the effort they’re laying out and the limits they push within what constraints they have, even if Korrasami didn’t get to kiss or whatever the fuck, *recognize* it, and most of all, appreciate what effort is being made for you in this fight, you ungrateful little toads. Because they’re the ones actually fighting for you. Show that these steps are profitable, not drama-bombs, to the companies trying to make money.

Screaming at the wrong people and deleting progress on twitter or tumblr to compete with TV illiterate fuckballs is literally the opposite of progressive and I don’t know how this is fucking hard for people to wrap their heads around.

[juliesoutsourcingblog]

DIGITAL MARKETING 101; CREATING CONTENT TO ENSNARE THE MILLENNIAL HEART

Content is everything.

Content is king.

As digital marketers, we’ve read this proclamation so many times it’s burned in our brains. It’s been said over and over and over- so much that when I see the word “content”, it’s the first thing that comes to my mind. And it certainly is true.

Content still is, and would almost certainly always be, king.

It’s the heart and soul of every campaign. It’s the building blocks where we build our social media following. It’s the magnet that attracts behind every advertisement. It sends our narrative, our story, our message across to our target audience.

It builds credibility.

It establishes authority.

It attracts- which, I think, is its most basic, yet most important function for those of us who use it primarily for marketing.

Now the question arises.

Who do we want to attract?

Of course it’d be nice to think that we could write a piece that would engage and attract the attention of every group and denomination. But we have to be realistic and set our goals accordingly. Every time we create content, just as we always think about the quality of the article, or the infographic, or the podcast that we are creating, we should also be keeping in mind the people who we want to be on the receiving end of our finished product.

For me, those people more-often-than-not, turn out to be millennials. Which then, brings us to the title of this article:

DIGITAL MARKETING 101; CREATING CONTENT TO ENSNARE THE MILLENNIAL HEART

When we think about millennials, most of us often scrunch up our noses and think, pumpkin spice latte, twitter rage, trophies, student debts, entitlement etc. Which is a bunch of harmful stereotypes that does not exactly promote generational unity, but let’s not talk about that.

Instead, let’s define the term: Millennial.

Contrary to popular belief, millennials are not teenagers. Millennials are young adults, whose age range typically fall between 18-35 years, sometimes older (different groups have different opinions on the exact range). To clear any misconceptions, here is the general agreed upon birth years for different generations:

And according to Pew Research Center analysis of U.S. Census Bureau data, Millennials are actually the largest generation in the U.S labor force.

Which is good news for me, and other digital marketers and content creators whose target audience are millennials, for the most part. Because it means that the people we are writing for are earning money. It sounds mercenary, but again- let’s be real here. The main reason why we do content marketing is to attract customers. Prospective clients.

Buyers.

Since the mediums wherein most content creators like me disseminate our pieces are found in the internet, it’s also important to know just how much of our intended audience actually have access in it.

Statista, a site that publishes statistical analysis of facts and figures recently released the following:

SHARE OF ADULTS IN THE UNITED STATES WHO USE THE INTERNET IN 2019, BY AGE GROUP

“The statistic shows share of internet users in the United States in 2019, sorted by age group. During the survey period, it was found that 100 percent of 18 to 29-year olds in the United States were internet users. Overall, 90 percent of the adult U.S. population accessed the internet.”

 –STATISTA

The glaring numbers don’t lie. A huge chunk of the majority of the people actually spending time in the internet are- you guessed it- young adults. Again, good news for us, right?

Well, yes.

Also, not entirely.

See, just because they are in the internet, or are in social media, does not mean that they are instantly going to fall heads over heels with our content. Just because I published an article on Tumblr, or posted a link to my blog on Facebook and they happened to see it, does not mean that millennials will automatically start sharing and hitting the like button. There’s always the chance that they might ignore it. Or worse, start hating it so much that I become a victim to the of the prevalent boycott movement, the cancel culture.

Yes, that’s a thing now.

Millennials are like a double-edged sword, so to speak.

There are a lot of pitfalls in making them our target viewers, to be sure. But if there’s one thing that I know from experience, it’s this: the gains and advantages that can be reaped from having millennials as an audience far outweighs the cons.

Having said all that, it’s also very important to remember that this generation is not exactly impossible to please. To capture their attention, there are few things that can be implemented that won’t necessarily cost any money- just a considerable amount of effort from our part.

1. Be conscious of political correctness

Generation Y is a generation of socially conscious individuals. Remember, that these people were raised in a time where equality and awareness are the main advocacies. I am not saying that we need to start turning our backs on our own political beliefs and start catering to theirs- let’s just be mindful enough not trip over sensitive issues in our content unless that is exactly what our purpose is. Let’s try to avoid publishing material that blatantly belittles or discriminates against people because of their race, body type, hair, gender, age, culture, fame (or lack thereof), social status etc. The general rule of the thumb is, to be nice as much as we can, and respect people the way that we want to be respected.

2. Be aware of trends

I’m not talking about eating Tide Pods or mimicking other challenges that are physically harmful. I’m talking about trends in technology, software and social media updates, fashion, clothing lines, restaurants, travel, philanthropic acts and charitable institutions, art, architecture. Of course, we all have our own niche to pay attention to, but with a little bit of effort, there’s an unending number of trending topics out there that are just waiting to be featured no matter what industry we are currently focusing on.

3. Stop sounding like salesperson

In my opinion, this does not just apply to millennials, but to every audience subtype. Stop being so obvious that you are selling something. Instead, tell a story. Make your viewers empathize. Be a friend- someone who actually cares and someone who they can relate to.

Don’t tell them:

Buy my shoes. They have great price compared to other shoes.

Instead, tell them:

I have worked in a corporate office almost all of my adult life, and have always worn heels. I have shed copious amounts of tears from bleeding blisters, and have since learned to always keep a supply of band-aids in my purse and a small first-aid kit in my desk. But what can I do? There’s an office dress code that I apparently agreed to when I signed my contract. I could quit- but then what’d I do for my bills? Should I tell my mother I am unemployed, because I didn’t like my shoes?

That’s when I started to think- why not make my own? Something that I can actually design, something that is comfortable and does not cost a house mortgage.

See where I’m going with this? With more time effort, it’s not impossible to make the part that advertises a certain product or service even more low-key than this. We have to make our selling points part of the natural flow of the narrative. Remember: subtlety is the key.

4. Use millennial buzzwords

Language is dynamic. It’s constantly changing. Time, geographical location, culture, events- these things and more affect the evolution of language so much and with such consistency that it’s almost impossible to determine its original state. As years pass by, people incorporate more and more slangs and new terminologies in their everyday lives.

I won’t say that it’s absolutely necessary to imbue our every article with terms like bop, lit, or salty- just that there are certain terms or “buzzwords” that we can add in our writing that would make us seem more like a peer than a lecturer. It sounds silly, I know, but the goal is to be relatable. Here are some of the words that millennials have been known to use in the past year that could also be used in creating content, within the right context, of course:

Spill the tea

The struggle is real

Trolls

Goals

On fleek

Clap back

Break the internet

Said no one ever

Slay

Adulting

Here’s another advice- we don’t necessarily have to over-stuff our sentences with these buzzwords. Let it flow naturally. The secret is to sound casual, not to overdo the whole thing and end up sounding silly.

5. Inform and educate

The last, but most certainly not the least. The internet, for most of its users, act heavily as a source of information. When people read articles, guides, tutorials, and other types of content, one of the main reasons that they do so, is to learn. But in the event when people are reading for entertainment purposes, it’s still important to make sure that they get to take something out of it.

And even when we end up writing about, say, the dazzling blue waters of a certain Polynesian island, or the breathtaking view atop the Grand Canyon, let’s make sure to inject bits and pieces of interesting facts and advice that would make the reading experience not just fun, but also enriching in a way that would encourage visitors not just to return, but to also share our material to the rest of the digital world.

From the rise to the number of users for the information crowdsourcing site Quora, to the popularity of online entities Mashable, and the types of articles, infographics, quotations, and other forms of shareable materials that young adults are sharing on social media platforms, it is evident that millennials are leaning more and more towards content that contains fascinating information.

It is important to note that most people are heavily motivated by the desire to share something that they think others would also like. For our part, we have to make sure that our products are sufficiently valuable and are interesting enough to warrant their reposts and willing dissemination.

Final words

Always be reminded that in digital and content marketing, researching about the target audience is as important as ensuring that the technical aspects of content creation are on point, and that learning about the trends in the behaviours and opinions of the people we want to send our message to is absolutely vital, because it helps us tailor our content to their tastes and interests.

[so-shiny-so-chrome]

Witness: Weirdness_Unlimited

Creator name (AO3): Weirdness_Unlimited

Creator name (Tumblr): Burn-your-face-upon-the-chrome

Link to creator works: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weirdness_Unlimited/works

Q: Why the Mad Max Fandom?

A: In the Mad Max universe, anything that is completely absurd and outrageous is represented as the norm. Leather fetish gear? Oh, that's just the security guard uniform at Bartertown. Those guys over there are wearing black and white face paint? No, you're not at an ICP concert, those are War Boys, also run. Whoa, there are acrobats being flung through the air on poles attached to moving vehicles! No worries, that's just any Tuesday in Gas Town. I love this fandom because pretty much any nonsense my skull meat can come up with, as long as the mechanics of it work, I can throw it into my fics and not a single person will bat an eye. As a matter of fact, the weirder, the better. 

Q: What do you think are some defining aspects of your work? Do you have a style? Recurrent themes?

A: Life is gross, humans do gross things, and the environment around you could not care less about any of your moral dilemmas. I suppose you can say my style is a lack of it. I like things straight forward and I know this characteristic often weakens any aesthetic appeal to my writing. “To Love Reptiles” reads from Slit's perspective the same way a radio manual does but with a lot more cursing. I try not to make it too complicated to digest. I'd like for people to be able to fill in any blanks with their own interpretation of the situation and then move on to the next. 

Themes though, I go heavy on themes. The main theme is interpersonal relationships, coping with failure within them, and personal growth. Other themes include coping with mental illness, codependency, hunger, greed, warfare, trauma, etc.  

Q: Which of your works was the most fun to create? The most difficult? Which is your most popular? Most successful? Your favourite overall?

A: The most fun work of my own, by far, has been “To Love Reptiles.” It has also been the most popular, most successful, and my most favourite. The most difficult has been an original work with no working title. I can't give away much about this original piece but it has to do with local myths and survival in the wilderness. I quit working on the rough manuscript when my grandmother passed away several years ago. I'll be picking it up again soon. It may turn up on AO3 in the next three or four years.

Q: How do you like your wasteland? Gritty? Hopeful? Campy? Soft? Why?/

A: Gritty but hopeful, I think. The wasteland is nasty but humans need hope, right?

Q: Walk us through your creative process from idea to finished product. What's your prefered environment for creating? How do you get through rough patches?

A: Alright, so that's an interesting question with a pretty messy answer but I'll try to make it brisk.   Step 1: I start with a summary of the story as a whole with a point A (the beginning) and a point B (the end). Step 2: I break that summary down and and fill it out with events that can ferry the characters from the start of the story to the finish on a drawn timeline to keep things in chronological order. I also have note cards. I break this down further into named chapters. This can take a while. Step 3: I summarize each of those chapters to figure out if this story needs more than one installment. It depends out how the series of events land and how many minor arcs are included with the main arc/objective. Sprinkle some drama in there, scrap some unnecessary things, narrow an installment down to thirty (30) chapters at maximum. Step 4: I summarize individual scenes within the chapters and hack out important dialog. This takes weeks. There's typically between four and ten scenes per chapter. Also more note cards. Step 5: I try to flesh out one scene per day. (key word: Try) 

 I get the most writing done in the morning over coffee and before work. I usually sit at the breakfast table with my phone and spit out about 500-ish words before my husband wakes up. I'll write intermittently throughout the day. Lately I haven't been writing much because of holiday junk and winter being kind of a bummer. 

 If I'm in a rough patch, I can break though it by sitting in a room with no internet access and forcing myself to scratch out a scene or two in a notepad. Usually these notepad scribbles are so awful that they get torn out and chucked in the waste bin but the next day I'm keen to do the job right. 

Q: What (if any) music do you listen to for help getting those creative juices flowing?

A: Ambient sound, white noise, or nothing. I do listen to music and there's a lot of songs I associate with stories, fics, characters. Tove Lo is a big one for Dune. Most of the time I find that music with lyrics or a high tempo is distracting if I'm in the act of writing something but it can be a source of inspiration separately. 

Q: How do you keep track of all the details as you're writing? How do you keep details consistent in your works? How do you fact-check your writing?

A: I have a little memo pad with numbered facts that do not change at any point through the story. These are kinda the cardinal rules. I can't tell you the rules because they contain spoilers. After the “RULES” there are miscellaneous details that I'd like to remember in case they come up later. Things like birthmarks, scar placement, mannerisms, things I've hinted at without exposition that will need to be revealed later.

I fact check by googling stuff and falling down research holes for several hours until I forget what I was doing. EVENTUALLY I'll come back to writing and realize that's why there are things in my search history that probably have me on some kind of government watch list.

Q: What motivates your writing?

A: My motivation. Real talk? For AAL it's to get to a particular scene in the planned third installment. Scene thirteen in chapter seven. I know that answers exactly nothing and is weirdly specific but... yes. Other works of mine, I'm motivated by the idea that some of my ideas might entertain someone out there, even if it's just one someone then I've succeeded.

Q: What is your biggest challenge as a creator?

A: Time management. I have a lot of hobbies and finding time for individual projects is... Hard. I made a boredom jar that lets me pick an unfinished task/project/piece at random to do whenever I'm bored so that I can stop myself from starting anything new when my apartment is already full of unfinished junk.

Q: How have you grown as a creator through your participation in the Mad Max Fandom? How has your work changed? Have you learned anything about yourself?

A: Yes. My organizational skills have improved by miles and my attention span is better focused. Grammatically my work has undergone general improvement.  

Learned anything about myself? Hmm, I learned that my opinion of what is canon and what makes good fan fiction are two completely different things. If you ask me anything specific about the Mad Max franchise you will probably get both opinions. As an example: Does Maxosa make for good fan fiction? Heck Yeah! Will canon Max Rockatansky or Furiosa ever be mentally and emotionally healed enough to actually be in a relationship? Probably not and that's okay. I can happily read Max and Furi getting cuddly and domestic and enjoy the heck out of another writer's interpretation of these two overcoming the hurdles of their respective traumas. I can do this knowing full well that Max and Furiosa probably never canonically saw each other again after the closing scene of Fury Road. I'm okay with this because that's the magic of fandom and why I love it.

Q: Which character do you relate to the most, and how does that affect your approach to that character? Is someone else your favourite to portray? How has your understanding of these characters grown through portraying them?

A: I relate to Max the most, and I think the reason I haven't yet published anything written from his perspective is because he'd be the most difficult to write without touching on my own fears and inadequacies too much. Max is not interested in being involved with the dramas of anyone else's life. He's already seen too much turmoil and had a hand in it too many times to actively seek people and their inherent problems, however, when presented with zero alternative he'll do what needs to be done and suffer though forming new attachments to very mortal people who may drop dead at any minute. He isn't comfortable with the process of forming attachments and he'd rather avoid it. He doesn't want another ghost. At least that's my interpretation of him. 

 Slit, remarkably, is my favorite to write for in spite of the fact that I don't relate to him in any way and my interpretation of his portrayal in the film is, simply put, a blunt edged euphemism for abusive relationships. He's just... a guilty pleasure to examine and write. I blame my fondness on the stunning character design and Josh Helman's energy on screen. The character says and does ridiculous things and it's just hilarious to watch Slit dig his own grave and humiliate himself. Case and point: I've got his boot! My understanding of Slit has grown through writing about him. He's probably (canonically) deeply insecure and his way of thinking very toxic and self focused. There's gotta be trauma there (I took massive creative license in that area) and a whole host of personal issues that explain his behavior, but will never excuse it. Does that make good fan fiction??? Parts of it do, the rest has to be that very human ability to grow and improve, although I don't think he'd have that opportunity in canon or accept any form of assistance... If he'd lived. 

Q: Do you ever self-insert, even accidentally?

A: I think you kind of have to self-insert to a point. Writing tends to involve exaggerating your own experiences and the imagined interactions in your own head in order to make the experiences of the characters relatable. I'd rather not examine every individual facet of the issue but yes, I think Dune is an unintentional self-insert to cope with health problems before I was consciously aware of what I was coping with and since that realization, lately, she's a lot harder to write. 

Q: Do you have any favourite relationships to portray? What interests you about them?Honestly? Close platonic friendship. Emotional intimacy is interesting. I draw a lot of inspiration for friendship in fiction from Mulder and Scully in early seasons of The X-files.

Q: How does your work for the fandom change how you look at the source material?

A: I see more minor details and the context of silent interactions. Some of these details are unsettling, some of them are so subtle and subliminal that they're easily missed when you watch the films, especially Fury Road. Oddly enough, I'm a lot more- Ah whats the word? Not quite critical of but unnerved by my own observations of Capable's relationship with Nux. I'm not sure why. It could be that I'm misinterpreting the actress's tone or George Miller vision/direction, but I watch the movie now and find that the way Capable looks at and talks about Nux so intensely makes me uneasy. The previous is just an example among many that I've spat out so far, it's not important.

Q: Do you prefer to create in one defined chronology or do your works stand alone? Why or why not?

A: Everything I write within the Mad Max fandom with the exception of collaborative works will probably be linked together and consistent with one another because that means less to remember and fewer mix-ups.

Q: To break or not to break canon? Why?

A: If you have to, break it. I'll read it. I like my fandom unlimited, baby. In my own works I try to keep with canon somewhat but I resurrect a lot of characters who almost certainly died because if I didn't, it would really only leave seven (I think) named characters with dialog who did not die in Fury Road. (The surviving women of the Many Mothers weren't named.)

Q: Share some headcanons:

A: 1) Max has intestinal parasites. He ate a live (two headed) lizard in the first thirty seconds of Fury Road. You really really really should not do that. 

 2) Furiosa didn't want to kill Ace. She could have just blown his head off instead of punching him in the face with a pistol. She didn't shoot him. 

 3) Ace did not go under the wheels. Foxy Grandpa lives. 

 4) Miss Giddy is also alive somewhere 

 5) Actually, most people in the wasteland probably have intestinal parasites. 

Q: If you work with OCs walk us through your process for creating them. Who are some of your favourites?

A: My original characters tend to create themselves. I don't know how they do it, they kinda just decide for themselves for better or worse what they'll look like and how they'll behave. Dune was an accident and the “About a Lizard” series wasn't supposed to happen at all. It was supposed to be a one-shot word dump of what Slit's final moments might have looked like. Slit was supposed to die in a fleeting but intense two seconds of delusions about Valkyries and Valhalla... And then be eaten by a scavenger cannibal. The whole thing kind of just happened on the fly. Ardith, Phil/Crank, Featherknife, Bones, and the kids were also accidental. I had no idea where I was going with the encounter with Crow Fishermen. They just popped into existence of their own will and the rest is history. The only original characters that have been planned and designed well beforehand have been villains. This probably says something about me as a writer though I'm not sure what. 

Q: When creating a new character for the AAL series, how do you approach their first interactions with your main characters?

A: The first thing I ask is “What does this scene need” and sometimes it needs a new character for villainy or friendly acquaintance reasons or for a skill-set the main characters do not posses. New characters have a habit of changing a chapter or making it much longer than intended. First interactions with Slit probably won't surprise anyone. He phases through distrust to dislike to begrudged cooperation and from there he's either on his way back to dislike or entering the tolerance phase. Beyond the tolerance phase is... The Complicated Zone. The Complicated Zone is where Nux and Dune are situated. Dune has two basic instincts with people: Should I shoot you? Or should I befriend you? Bizarrely, being friendly is the weirder option in the wastes. Shooting is almost always a consideration if she's taken by surprise.

Q: If you create original works, how do those compare to your fan works?

A: My original works are probably darker and deal more with modern problems. I turn to fan fiction for fun and to indirectly work through things.

Q: Who are some works by other creators inside and outside of the fandom that have influenced your work?

A: A lot of the fandom, too many names to name but one stands out and I can't remember their name or the title of their work. It was about Ace growing up and there was a dingo and a young Miss Giddy. If anyone knows what I'm talking about, please help. I've been looking for this fic for ages.

Q: Is there a specific author(s) that inspired your work when you began writing TLR?

A: I don't think any specific author inspired me while I began TLR but The Dark Half by Stephen King is one of my favorites and I recall re-reading it shortly before getting deep into fan writing. I may even have unconsciously plagiarized a few lines off that book. In my latest attempt to re-read that novel I'm feeling like there's a lot of Thad Beaumont in my portrayal of Slit.

Q: What advice can you give someone who is struggling to make their own works more interesting, compelling, cohesive, etc.? 

A: Don't be afraid to write things that are too soft or too dark or too this or too that. Sometimes readers crave that stuff that makes us feel warm and safe and sometimes we're also here for things that make us wonder how the @!#$% the characters will ever recover or IF they will ever recover. The real world is full of all sorts of feelings, situations, serendipitous coincidences. Take us down whatever funky road you got! You're the driver, you decide. Your fic is your world. Write WILD things sometimes because it's fun. 

Q: Have you visited or do you plan to visit Australia, Wasteland Weekend, or other Mad Max place?

A: I would love to take a trip to Australia one day to paint scenery in oils but that predates my time in MM fandom. I really want to go to Wasteland Weekend in the next two years but finances, necessities, costumes, etc need to be sorted out first.

Q: Tell us about a current WIP or planned project.

A: Well, I'm buying up model car kits to make little Mad Max cars for nerd purposes.

Thank you @burn-your-face-upon-the-chrome

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Regarding looping, I also find that many people mistype their Enneagram, considering themselves 2 in integration or 7 in desintegration... There is no info about how long these "rises and falls" may last.

I’m not sure if there was a question in here? But I’m going to take it as a jumping off point to talk a bit about my entirely subjective theories here.

First, re: no info about how long these rises and falls last. This is all pseudoscience, so this is very much just me speculating, but as I understand it:

Gripping is a brief stress reaction. If you think you are gripping for years, you are probably just mistyped.

Looping is typically described as a defense mechanism, specifically in people who haven’t developed their auxiliary function very well. As a result, shorter periods of looping, also as a brief stress reaction, make sense in teen/early adulthood years. For long-term looping, I’d suspect it wouldn’t occur unless someone also had severe trauma in the mix, in which case stop reading about looping on the internet and find a therapist if that’s remotely possible.

disintegration/integration are more a lifelong state of health for enneagram. Most people are somewhere in that middle range, and again, stop saying “oh it’s just enneagram disintegration” and get some actual help. But I don’t think you just dip into disintegration (the way you might for a loop or grip) - it’s not a stress reaction, but an overall, well, disintegration. It’s a breakdown process.

-------

Now, the other part: Tumblr is an absolutely garbage place to learn about mental health. I cannot stress this enough. There are lots of people who have taken a single psych course if that and decided that they are basically a luminary within the field of abnormal psychology when in fact they are a caffeinated 19-year-old with a B- average. Or people will hear something from their therapist - which is great - but share it and other people will assume it also applies to them.

The example I like to use is maladaptive daydreaming. This is a controversial subject even within actual clinical psychology, and research is in its infancy. There have been something like two actual case studies. And, more crucially, normal levels of daydreaming in healthy humans are pretty high. If maladaptive daydream gains traction as a recognized condition, it would have as its core symptoms a requirement that the affected person essentially be addicted to the point where it is seriously interfering with one’s ability to engage with the real world. It is not common. But because it’s a poorly-understood area with little research, instead of exercising a normal level of scientific caution, or having the life and/or research experience to say “oh having elaborate escapist fantasy scenarios in your head is ENTIRELY FUCKING NORMAL, why do you think people write fiction or play D&D” a whole lot of people on Tumblr have decided they are afflicted with this, when in fact they are completely fine.

Self-diagnosis is a stage in the mental health process, and I’m not going to front like every mental health professional has pure intentions and is infallible nor that mental health is as accessible as it should be, but so many things - daydreaming, intrusive thoughts, feeling anxious or sad or easily distracted sometimes - are well within the normal human range of experience. The mental illness occurs when you feel this way for no reason and can’t stop for extended periods of time and can’t function normally. To put it another way, even a completely neurotypical person can have really shitty days, because that is how life and the world and brains all work.

I don’t want to minimize mental illness (ie, I’m trying not to sound like Maria Bamford’s brilliant Everyone Has Depression bit), but the internet discourse in general suffers from a severe lack of context and nuance.

This applies to MBTI. Everyone has stressful moments when they lash out, because that is how many people interact with stress. These are things you can learn from a. meeting a goddamn fucking person and b. taking a class in cognitive neuro or psych and recognizing it does not make you a psychologist but it does give you a tiny grain of that context you so desperately need to engage with that internet discourse intelligently. But without that context, instead of saying “I was having an awful day and I freaked out and I’m sorry, this is a human thing” it turns into “I was gripping/looping/disintegrating.”

For some people, MBTI turns into a way to divorce their consciousness (their soul I guess if you ascribe to that theory?) from their actions and that’s one reason I try to describe the functions as being used (eg: I am a high Si user) - if I do something shitty, that is me, Em, doing something shitty, not my low Ne or my high Te or enneagram 1 disintegrating into 4.

Frankly, even if I were legit in the grip, if I did something shitty I have still done something shitty and am still responsible for my actions, because adult humans are general speaking responsible for their actions. But I think a lot of looping/gripping/disintegrating stuff comes from a place of both not understanding what is pathological and what is completely normal, and also a lack of personal responsibility. Or, on the flip side, people hoping they are fine and this is just an MBTI quirk when in fact it’s an actual issue.

As a lesser and more cynical factor, I think some of this also is a way to type yourself as the hot new darling of whatever system while explaining why you don’t actually act that way: “oh, I’m disintegrating to 7 but I’m really the all-knowing 5″.

[stopforamoment]

“Hang with Me” (9 of 10)

Book: The Royal Romance (After Book Three)

Pairing: Bastien Lykel x OFC Rinda Parks Word Count: 1,664 Rating: M for Language Author’s Note: Thank you to all the amazing artists whose work got me through a *really* long semester and TRR break. Chapters are named after songs I was listening to at the time because I’m real original like that. This one is “Hang with Me” by Robyn. *Obligatory disclaimer that Pixelberry Studios owns the TRR characters and my pocketbook with those darn diamond scenes. OFC with all of her quirks is all mine. My apologies if Tumblr or I do something stupid when I try to post this. Summary: Bastien learns more about the Kakos dysfunction and the school’s secret passageways from Rinda and they begin to form their working relationship. Oh, and NOW the slow burn is finally getting started! *The “Keep Reading” link should be here!

It was Thursday afternoon and Bastien was in Kakos’ old office, trying to sort through the mess he left behind. There was a knock on the door. It was Rinda. “Mr. Lykel, do you have a few minutes?” Bastien smiled. “Yes, please come in. Sit down.”

Rinda gave a grateful smile. “Thank you. I wanted to touch base with you about coordinating things with the security program. I didn’t know if you wanted the two of us to work together, or if I should just wait for the permanent replacement.” Bastien nodded. “I’m putting together a short list, but I would like your input when I get that far.” “Thank you, I appreciate that. Please let me know when you’d like to meet. Oh, and before I forget . . .” Bastien looked up as she handed him a piece of paper. “If you have Kakos’ laptop, these might be the usernames and passwords to access the laptop and his email.” Bastien looked at her in shock. “He gave this to you?” Rinda gave him an even stare. “No. He left his laptop lying around with the internet tab minimized. He wasn’t logged out of his work email, so I went in and updated his password and added a protection lock on the laptop. He would have gotten an email notification that his password was changed, and it was my hope that he would make note of the security breach and make the necessary changes. As for getting locked out of his laptop, well, I hadn’t figured that part out yet.” Bastien continued to stare at her in disbelief, and she misread his reaction. “Please understand. I had to do a lot of passive aggressive things just to ensure a basic level of security and there was no one I could speak to about this. I promise I won’t do that to you or the new security officer because first, I know I won’t have to. And second, because I know there’s no way I would get away with it.” Rinda chuckled. “Trust me, I’m too terrified to even think of what you’d do to me if I was stupid enough to try something. There were a lot of things I kept from you because I thought you were only here for a few days and it wasn’t your problem to deal with. Now that it’s more permanent, well, there’s some other things I need to fill you in on when you have time.” Bastien leaned back in his chair, silently staring at her. “I know you’re busy so I’ll let myself out. I’ll be in room 137, Laura’s room, if you need me for anything during the day.”

. . . . .

Bastien and Rinda met the next morning to start going through things.

“Rinda, those passageways you used during training. Does everyone know about them?” Rinda shook her head. “I don’t think so. They’re pretty musty, and some didn’t seem safe to use, even in an emergency. But there should also be some outside tunnels in the area that I haven’t looked for yet. I’m sure all the local kids know and have been using them for years. I was planning on asking them when the school year started once they got to know me better.” Bastien nodded. “How did you know about the passageways, then?” “Oh, I asked for a building plan to be sent over before I came here. Plus I did research on the area, and there was some cool historical information about escape routes for royalty during times of war and tunnels created by the locals who smuggled goods into Cordonia back in the day. Well, I’m kind of a history geek, and who wouldn’t be excited about secret tunnels and escape routes, right? So when I got here I went to the Valtoria Library to get more information, and then I was told the Cordonian Royal Library Collection also had information. I have carte blanche to library stuff because of the exchange program and I’ve had archival training . . . sorry, rambling. Long story short, I found enough info that I was able to piece together a basic map of passageways in the building and possible tunnel entrances nearby. I started exploring the passageways when I got here, trying to get a better idea of everything. I highlighted the stuff I was able to explore within the school building this past week—it wasn’t much—and I gave it to Kakos so we could consider them as escape routes. I assume he gave you the copy to help with your security preparations?” Bastien didn’t respond. Shit. I should have listened to my gut and given the copy directly to Bastien. “Bastien, I’m sorry. Kakos has the only hardcopy and I didn’t make an electronic version. I wasn’t sure about security protocol. But I’d be happy to make a new one for you.” Bastien shook his head. “Hopefully that won’t be necessary. I’ll talk to Kakos tonight and ensure that he hands over the copy. So, how long did it take you to do this?” Rinda shrugged. “I did a little here and there, and I knew the bulk of it I’d work on when I could actually get into the passageways and tunnels to map it out. Really, it was fun. Like solving a mystery.” Bastien nodded. He was used to doing research for his job, but not this. The type of research Rinda completed in such a short amount of time? He was impressed.

“You know Bastien, this room is one of the main access points to the passageway. I’m assuming the entryway is behind the bookshelf. It didn’t seem like Kakos tried getting into the passageways from here, but that was something that terrified me. That he would have so much access from his office. It makes sense from a security perspective, but only when we can trust the person in charge.” Rinda trailed off. “Mr. Lykel? Bastien? I don’t know what happened yesterday, but I’m so glad that you’re going to be a part of this transition.” Bastien nodded in agreement. Now that he was learning the full extend of the dysfunction, he was relieved Kakos was let go. With the King and Queen coming in October . . . Rinda already did more than she knew to make his job easier. Rinda suddenly looked up at Bastien, a hopeful gleam in her eye, but then suddenly looked down and bit her bottom lip uncertainly. “You would need to keep exploring those school passageways and area tunnels as part of your security preparation, right? I understand if you don’t want me poking around in them anymore, but if I can tag along I’d really appreciate it.” He glanced at Rinda. Her normally hazel eyes were turning green, her obvious tell when she was excited about something. He gave her a mischievous grin, thinking about the work she put into the map, her excitement about Jules Verne novels, and how she instinctively knew the local children would know about the tunnels and play in them. She was loving this. “Yes,” Bastien began slowly, “but without that map I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Hmm.” It sounded more like a seductive purr as Bastien continued, teasing out his next sentences, not breaking eye contact with Rinda.  “It would help if I had someone with me who was already familiar with the area. Someone who could take charge . . .” Rinda’s pursed her lips, trying to give Bastien a disapproving glare, but she couldn’t pull it off. Instead, she gave an exaggerated sigh. “Well, I did already start exploring the school passageways, and I have to admit I was planning on exploring the tunnels on my own if Kakos didn’t join me. I guess you could join me. I mean, Professor Lindenbrock really did need Hans to save him all the time. Bastien chuckled at the Jules Verne reference. She remembered . . . Rinda stood up. “Just let me grab a couple things first, okay?” She was so excited, and he couldn’t stop himself. Bastien looked up at her, feigning confusion. “Why?” “Why? So we can start exploring the school passageways. I can help you move the bookcase. Then we can figure out another time to find the entrances to the outside tunnels.” “Now? What made you think I wanted to do anything right now?” Bastien’s face was a blank slate, mustering his years of training to keep his lips from twitching. “All right. So when should we go?” “Let me check my schedule and get back to you, okay? I can’t just drop what I’m working on to go exploring.” Rinda blushed, embarrassed that she had been so presumptuous. “Of course. I’m sorry that I . . .” Bastien cut her off. “Mrs. Parks, would you prefer that I invite Kakos to go with you? I am really busy and don’t know if I’ll have time this week . . .” Rinda grinned, suddenly realizing that he was messing with her. “Well, you said you were going to see if he has the map, so then I guess you don’t need me. I hope the two of you have fun together.” Shit. He didn’t like how quickly she was gaining the upper hand. Rinda tried to appear calm as she walked out of his office, but she began laughing too hard to be convincing. “Okay, seriously. The two of us will do this, right?” “Yes, Rinda. I promise we’ll do it. You just need to be patient.”

Rinda’s eyes widened in disbelief and then she threw back her head and laughed. “Damn, Bastien. That was amazing.” She suddenly turned to him with a mock seriousness in her eyes, her voice deepening.  “I mean, it will be amazing.” Then she walked out of his office, leaving a blushing Bastien with a shocked look on his face as he realized what just happened.

[revivalzine]

How Would You Like Your Music News Madam?

Happy Wednesday all. 

So with NME’s cutting its physical publication a few weeks back, it got me thinking about a chat I had with James Kendall founder of Brighton music publication Source Magazine. Back then The NME had just become free, now you will only find the publication online. When we spoke the fate of music journalism was quite similar to today but with the dwelling uncertainty of what would happen to physical publication. It’s fair to say as we put the NME magazine to rest, the direction is quite obvious. Oh well, save the trees n all. 

We spoke during the creation of Revival so, yes this conversation is about two years old. Never the less this chat is still very much relevant, I think we touch on some very interesting topics James really showered me with his music journalist knowledge. I thought I’d only be genuine of me to let you into the research process behind ma baby blog, give you an insight into my noggin. 

Basically, this interview is a lil gem and I want to share it with you lovely people. 

Just in case, you didn’t get my awful pun the overall contentious is a discussion as to what is the prevailing platform for music journalism: physical vs online publication.

 I had the idea that idea that the fanzine, the DIY publication was set to have a revival, in physical format but then I realised that maybe not, maybe it isn’t?

“People have started to appreciate objects again, people who grew up with the Internet are appreciating having something and that’s why vinyl records have had a revival.”

 Yes exactly, I compared vinyl to the possible physical publication revival.

“Yes you are bang on with the vinyl analogy, it’s the same as with the cold craft beer thing people like things that have had some effort put into them, and things that have got no physical being are difficult to prove that effort, things that are so throw away. But to have something that someone’s put enough love into it to bother to get it printed or made makes a huge, huge difference. Saying that it is much more expensive to print a magazine, or fanzine that it is to build a website, which costs you exactly no money. So yeah there are people that are doing magazines, but there is probably less printed material that there was 5-10 years ago, the things that are being made are the more sorta’ special things. There’s an element of ‘people wanna’ make something that isn’t being represented, there’s no point making a fanzine that is similar to Q magazine. If you’re interested in feminist punk or some obscure music, it seems like hip hop and dance music are more of an online thing, and guitar music is the thing that’s more likely to be featured in a fanzine.”

 I originally based my project on fanzines similar to ‘Sniffin’ Glue’ during the punk era but punk has derived and changed so much that it’s not what it used to be it’s not as DIY.

“I think there was a necessity for fanzines in that era to be physically printed, where are no if you’re really punk then you’re not making something that cost money you’re doing something in the cheapest way possible. Now a true punk aesthetic would now be online. There’s a sort of middle-classiness of fanzines now.”

Do you think if blogs where around then punks would use them?

“ When Sniffin’ Glue came out there was nowhere to read about punk, I’m not quite sure about the chronology of NME and The Melody Maker but there was nowhere. When The Sex Pistols where on The Paul Grundy Show it was a big sensation, it was shocking that they were on TV. There were no music programs apart from Top Of The Pops, there was nowhere to find out this stuff; so people had to make something - to talk about what they wanted to talk about. Now you could make a video, you could put something on YouTube, you could do a podcast, you could put something on a blog.”

I think the platforms changed the prevailing platform isn’t; really physical anymore like it was. Many people say they want physical nice things but at the end of the day, the internet has given everyone a platform to talk about things I guess...How do you think the internet has effected physical publications and music journalism?

“Massively, massively. In a way that I never expected when it came out, I thought it would be a threat to magazines cause of the speed of reviews coming out makes something like NME a week out of date as soon as it’s hit the newsstand. But that’s not how it’s affected, it is effected that if you wanna’ know what a song sounds like you go on the internet and find the song; and listen to it, and find out whether you like it or not.”

 I guess you can review if yourself in that sense.

“Yeah, when I was sorta’ eighteen/nineteen the only way you could hear music and find out whether something was good or not, was by reading reviews. You had to know which review was shaped to your taste, which publications, you had to read a lot to figure out whether it was worth spending a tenner on a record. Music was more expensive in those days as well. So yeah it would be a big risk buying a record, some shops would let you listen to it on headphones, but if it was a busy Saturday probably not. So you kind of had to hang out in the record shop a lot, or you had to read a lot of music reviews. Now you could just go online and listen to it, and if you like it you can save it to your Spotify, or you can download it for 79p off Apple, or just play it again on YouTube, so you don’t need people to tell you if something’s any good or not. What you do need, is something that is similar, that is kinda a filter as to what is good. There’s 15,000 songs that come out in the week, and you can’t listen to all of them, so you need someone to help you through that, and that might be through a weekly compiled Spotify playlist or through somebody’s opinion. But the whole, reviewing an album to tell somebody whether it’s any good is not necessary anymore. There’s still an argument to say that music journalism is important, cause what music journalists can do that lots of other people can’t do, is they can contextualise something in the history of music, they can say whether it’s interesting with what’s gone one now and the past joining these links.”

 Do you think in the way anyone can be a bedroom DJ, anyone can be a producer, anyone can make music.. so anyone can create a blog, do you think that has a negative effect on the industry because there’s an abundance of opinion?

“It would be a bit negative for me to say that other people can’t write about music, only the chosen few, of which, I’ve been one of those, that would be an awful attitude to have. The more people that write about music, the more good journalists discover that they can do this, and the better journalism should be overall. So yeah, it is the same as music... I mean dance music; it’s a prime example of this, when you had to get things pressed onto vinyl it has to be good enough for the label to spend £1000 to get it pressed. So there was a quality barrier there, and then as soon as Beat Port came around all of a sudden there's thousands and thousands of tracks every week, and loads of them haven’t got anything really important about them and will disappear. The fact that people are able to on a cheap computer - people were making records on PlayStations for a while. So the fact that there are kids on housing estates are able to make beats, and then their mates can rap over the top, then they get it out on beat port or iTunes, or, whatever is amazing. And the fact there is a kid on the same housing estate that can write about that on their phone, and update it to Tumblr, is an absolutely brilliant thing. Any old people that say it was better in my day are wrong. There are challenges is in every situation, but the fact that more people can access to their writing, and get their writing out there is the best thing that could possibly happen to journalism.”

Do you think there is a battle between physical and digital format, in terms of are people more inclined to read something online then buy something physical?

“People are definitely more included to read something online because of the speed of them. For example the NME might write a news story of Beyoncé falling of stage, and have a picture on physical format - if you read that online you probably will have a video of it, so that’s a better article not just cause it’s out there quicker, but because it’s a richer experience. Although it’s more difficult to read a long article online on your computer, there’s a reason why books are still around just as much. There are no distractions from other notifications, it’s easier on your eyes and it’s a nicer experience. There are different positives for physical and digital. I think what has happened, is people have decided that they’re either going to do physical publications or are going to focus on online, we’ll be known for one thing. Pitchfork is a great example. They’ve got enough readers to put out a magazine, and people would buy it but they’re concentrated on the online format. The NME is also interesting, they’ve been all about their website for quite a long while.”

 Now the magazines free right?

 Yes now the magazine is free, and that completely changes things. Now they’ve got a 1/3 of a million readers or print run that’s going out there, it seems to me that their website is doing a different thing to their magazine, and they don’t have a lot of cross over. You can’t look at the magazine online on issue, they do a preview but you can’t see the whole thing, which is really interesting. From an advertisers perspective, they want their adverts to be seen, so if they’re appearing on the digital version of issue that’s fine, but NME have decided they want people to pick up the physical magazine, that’s important to them. They’ve got both physical and digital but it’s not that same content.

 Do you think all digital publications are all transferring online? Or the magazine will become free a like NME as well an online platform?

“ I used to have my own magazine, so I know how much it costs to print a magazine, and it’s a lot of money. So my magazine we did like 10/12,000 copies, on the lowest quality paper, like 60-90 pages, and it would cost somewhere between 3,000- 6,000 on printing. So that’s 3-6,000 pounds of adverts you’ve go to sell before you even break even.”

That was my main problem I faced with my project, funding and with my own experience I felt a blog was an alternative that did the job just as good. I just have an inkling that all publications will be online.

 “Yeah. I find it interesting that the Independent has stopped printing, so it’s the first newspaper to shut down in thirty years or something so that’s really telling. But what happens to a shrunken advertising market for print publications is that when people split up their advertising budget they don’t put so much into print anymore. That print advert money is smaller, and as it filters through, the big print publications don’t suffer as much, but the smaller ones suffer massively. And that’s what happened to us, local adverts disappeared because of social media, a way of getting your message out there that’s free. So we replaced it with bigger brands and companies, but that sort of died out even though our print run was the same as ever, our readership was the same as ever, but we were getting less of that money as it wasn’t filtering through the magazine industry. And that’s why we went out of business, the magazine industry as a whole wasn’t big enough for us to take a share that was enough for us to do a good quality magazine. There are other local magazines, but I would argue that they are surviving, as they aren’t spending enough money making a decent project.”

Do you think major scale print publications are okay then?

“I think it’s become more and more difficult, even for major publications. Something like vogue, which is like 700 pages of advert - advertising is a sign of quality for them; they’re okay. If you look at something like Uncut Magazine it’s a lot thinner than it used to be, at one point it was so thin people stopped buying it. So it’s a spiral you get in, you haven’t got enough money to print such a good magazine, because you haven’t got many readers, then you haven’t got many readers cause your magazine isn’t as good, it’s a spiral and goes down and down until you go out of business. It is probably a good argument to say that paid for magazines will totally become free; I’m surprised by what the quality of the current NME, I’m surprised it’s doing so well. Shortlist and Stylist continue to do really well, and Time Out it struggled and firsts but it’s better than it’s been for years and years. So four of the most successful British magazines are all free. Everybody’s looking at that, everybody’s struggling. There will be some premium magazines that survive but everything else will be free. Lots of publications will try to go free, some people will make it some people won’t. To be a successful free magazine, you will probably have to be a big company, it will be big companies that provide successful free magazines - it won’t be the independent.”

I read ‘How To Write About Music” and it says that physical publications are just a regurgitation of PR

“ Nick Davies uncovered the phone-hacking scandal; he says that the problem with journalism (he’s talking about newspaper journalism) is the journalists don’t have enough time on a story to dig deep enough to find the truth they can only report what they are told. What is happening is that you are getting somebodies carefully PR’d opinion. That is definitely true about music journalism as well. If you don’t have enough time to devote to finding out what the truth is you are either rewriting a press release or you’re rewriting somebody else’s story.”

Do you think blogs are more passionate, more excited therefor it’s more of an honest raw opinion?

“ It is more honest but it has probably come from less knowledge. If I was writing about Slaves I probably no more about to roots of their music than the actual band themselves. But if you’re 15 and you’ve never heard punk before, and Slaves is the first band you’ve heard like that, it’s going to be very exciting prose and a very honest review, but it’s not going to have much depth. It was the same with me, I really loved Suede, and then I realised they were a rip off of David Bowie.”

 I’m kind of focusing on that for my blog, I’m looking at the nature of revival and how we are living in a culture obsesses with it’s own past.

“Looking at it through that lens, it’s a retro thing again, were as when Sniffin Glue came out that wasn’t a very retro thing, it was cutting edge and modern. So if you are a punk band or a punk journalist that’s putting out fanzines it’s really you’re like; if you were about in the punk era you’d be writing about Jazz basically, because you are looking back at something that’s nearly 30-40 years old. When I was young it was at the tail end of the acid house era, people were kinda into this punk idea, but at the time It was dance music which was very DIY, on the edges of legality and that was the punk thing of the time. Not a revival or something that happened ten years ago. I think you could make an interesting point of the revival of fanzines and what they mean.”

Interesting, any last words?

“ So I think that blogs are the new fanzines; in terms of people who are not getting info on the sort of music that they like, people are writing blogs about it. People who are making fanzines have lost the DIY origin, its more about crafting something and making an object, whereas making a blog is about getting a voice out there and information about a subject that isn’t being portrayed in mainstream media. That’s how I would sum it up.”

[aleatoryalarmalligator]

thoughts about the world i guess.

So, I guess I will find out in some way or other when this becomes set in stone, but it doesn't look good for the net neutrality laws staying intact. I am really upset about this – it has caused me to do a lot of research on how the internet operates (I am by no means some kind of tech wizard in any way so I have had to do a lot of reading), and I have learned quite a lot about what is happening, and it makes me sick to my stomach. I love tumblr, I love etsy, I use youtube daily. The internet has always been a very important place for me to escape a difficult life, to become more informed, to feel understood, inspired, to create a space for myself when I didn't feel like I had room in the real world, and to feel comfortable expressing myself, and the idea of the internet becoming corporate is very disturbing to me. I love the fact that the internet is free, for better or worse. What bothers me is that there doesn't seem to be any other option or way to oppose it once things are set in stone – and I feel rather negative here – but despite having made calls and written petitions, I am afraid it's not going to change now – and the realist in me is already trying to interpret how I will fight back in little ways for the rest of my internet addled life.

What bothers me is that there really is only one internet. The only other option is to not use it, and I don't know if I can really do that now. I mean, I can technically go without and find other things to entertain myself with, but it is admittedly giving up a lot for me – and I am not really even sure if that would be super effective, as social networking and youtube is kind of how I found out about things like this to begin with. It seems counter intuitive for me to walk away from my tumblr for instance. But at the same rate, I don't like supporting things I don't believe in, and generally in life you always have some kind of a choice against the mainstream if you care to make a little extra effort, or at least try (there are always compromises that have to be made). Like, if you are against going to Walmart to get produce for instance, there are options you can go to to buy local a good deal of the time. If you are morally opposed to a religion, you can choose to not practice that religion or any religion for that matter, or if you don't like the music on the top twenty radio, there are gazillions of other options out there and you need not ever listen to it if you don't want it. But here, there seems to be no other choice – there is only one internet, and I hate that. Because realistically, I would go without food for a few days to keep the internet the way I want it. I would pay more – theoretically. I would and could do that, but should I? Will the internet even be as worth it to me if it's not accessible to everyone? Ugh, I don't know. It's kind of terrible to think about.

There is a second reason I am frustrated and upset. I kind of get frustrated because there is only so long that people's attention span works. It's hard to reach people, and even when you get them upset about something, they eventually get numb and psychologically get used to the new normal. Sure, people are outraged about this now (not enough obviously, but there is an outcry in certain areas that is quite loud and clear). But how much will they care in two years? Will there be enough people who are still outraged to play the long game? Especially when grassroots movements are more difficult to gain access online? Will it just be easier to shut ourselves off, pay the money and then sort of emotionally become pessimistic and become our own worst enemies?

And heck, the idealist in me considers that maybe people connecting to one another in real life is the answer, people reading more books would cure this problem and actually finding ways to care enough to form real life opposition. We can bypass the internet by simply reaching out to one another. But we all know that's not going to happen – and when it did happen, it largely was reliant upon a free internet. Even the greatest of optimists would be hard pressed to say we are living in a society that is becoming more person to person sociable, and more and more well read. I don't know. I feel like I want to shut off, and just not care if the world goes to hell anymore. Because we are all upset now, but in two years we will be quietly paying some stupid fucking fee to watch season 4 of some show on Netflix faster just to zone out from our disappointments (we are going to be so sick of Trump that even the comedians who try to low key undermine us will just make us depressed), and I am afraid everyone will be burned out by feeling so helpless and disgusted by the loss of liberties and the corruption that politicians are more and more open about that nobody will even know how to care anymore.

There is just so much bad happening in the world everyday. Some of it can be fixed simply by us being more observant about what we buy and how we talk and think about the world, but more and more of it is becoming something completely out of our hands. We will just be addicted to stimuli (stimuli that might even be good for us to an extent – like for instance there are ideas that can be tackled by cinema that you actually sometimes can't convey to people in conversation), but stimuli that will sort of entrap us as well to simply accepting the status quo. I don't know, I imagine there are more elements to my generation and the postmodern world that I am not giving credit to. I know there are people who dedicate their lives to making the world a better more free world – and some people's fight will never stop. There are still small wins here and there. But ever since Donald Trump became president, I have been sort of waiting for the next level of societal apathy to set in. It's not even about his presidency per say – though it is part of it. It's just about the mood of the country, and how much energy we realistically have before we decide to shut our eyes, or get distracted by something else. It's not even anyone's fault. If you looked at negative things that are happening in the world that demand our attention just in the last month and attempted to keep them all on your radar mentally in the way they warrant and responsibly require in order to be corrected, you would not only have little time for small enjoyments or a fulfilling life for yourself, you also wouldn't have room for the ongoing care that would be needed for those plights, while still taking on the inevitable new horrors of the week.

Anyway, this probably doesn't make that much sense. I don't know if I said what I was trying to say, and if it sounds like it's coming from someone who is incredibly naive it's because I am incredibly naive in some ways. Fortunately I hope I am wrong. I do know that I don't have all the answers. I hope people can stay informed, and fight back in a way that is effective in the long term.

[gamma-cray]

#Appblr’18

Because when you’re procrastinating on literally EVERYTHING you just want to sit down and ask yourself some things?

How many schools are you applying to? Four, (but if you count them as programmes, maybe up to 5 or 6)

Are you moving away or staying home? It depends on which school I eventually can get in to and what I choose LOL because one of my choices is literally just a 20 minute drive away

what’s a school that you love but won’t be applying to and why? SUTD. I love their pedagogy and their culture and more but I won’t be applying because it has a very design-centric curriculum which is just not what I’m looking for

What is a school you considered but is no longer on your list and why? Cornell, it is not on my list anymore because of the system of having to apply to specific departments (it kind of defeats my purpose of wanting to apply there)

The biggest advice you’d give your high school freshman self? Don’t take things too hard on yourself too quickly? Also please actually research all your options earlier, even if you think you wouldn’t get in (hint hint don’t start considering 6 months before the app cycle LOL)

biggest fear about college apps ? finishing it nicely, and in time. AND having only one shot at the SAT1 this december HELP

What are your top 3 schools ? The University of Chicago, Princeton University, Nanyang Technological University

what are 2 majors that sound interesting to you? Engineering + Society and Urban Systems (NTU); History, Philosophy, and Social Studies of Science and Medicine (UChicago)

Have you visited any colleges, if so, which? NTU, NUS, SUTD, and oddly enough, UC Berkeley, Menlo College and Stanford

what’s your biggest high school accomplishment ? [ personal, academic etc ] the fact I have survived to this point but am still pretty happy, I guess

If you could create your ideal college, what three features would it have?  a tight-knit cohort/school spirit, a liberal curriculum (where you can pick your classes/independent study as you like before eventually declaring a major) and access to tons of physics/engineering research facilities/faculty (and not in the sense where the arts/non-STEM are neglected)

Describe the ideal student at your future college in three words or phrases: open-minded, spirited and caring

What is a subject/ skill you’d like to study in college that has nothing to do with your field? Anthropology or Russian (or both), I also want to learn how to dance or play a woodwind instrument

Small, large or medium sized college? SMALL or medium (perhaps ~4000 undergrads in total)

International or local? both, but international if I can

One thing you’re gonna miss about your home/hometown? My family, Ayam Penyet and awesome public transport (or should I say the lifestyle in general?)

Three things you’d like to improve about yourself in college: Mathematical capacity (yes, for real), independence and courageousness 

If you could tell your dream school one random thing or a fact about you, what would you say?  I am a huge fan of your email newsletters/tumblr/social media posts they’re so fun and I love them so much MAKES ME SO HAPPY

what something you’d like to do differently than you did in high school? Don’t fix your mind on one school/degree programme too early!!!

ok finally, what college application resource has been your favorite/ most helpful so far? The availability of internet connection at 2am in the morning, but tbh youtube videos of campus tours that I cannot physically go to

[autismus-obscurus]

On self-dx

A while ago, someone asked me privately to tell them why I was clearly pro self-dx. It's a question I have seen a lot. It's a complex topic and there's a lot of misconceptions about what self-dx even is. Here's a slightly adapted version of my answer (under a cut so I don’t clog your dash). If anyone else has something to add, please do.

Also, TW: swearing. Sorry not sorry, It's just how I talk.

First off, we have to define what self-dx even is. Self dx is NOT googling "autism symptoms", reading one list, and the deciding "oh I'm autistic, lets go beg for pity". I can't speak for all autistics, but I don't fucking want pity. That's not the point of saying you're autistic. I just want to live without constant overload, okay? Lets go a bit more into detail: I’m very clearly pro self-dx, but I will not take someone seriously who takes one test and reads one blog post and then decides “I’m autistic.” That’s not how this works. Self-dx means hours upon hours of reading blogs, of reading articles, of checking the criteria again and again (cynically said, you're checking off a list, we'll get to that again later on), of asking autistics about every tiny trait you suspect could point towards or against it, of self doubt, of hope, of finding autistics spreading positivity or Autism Speaks / Autism Moms(TM) telling you you’re a monster. It’s emotionally draining as fuck. Self-dx is a search for identity. It’s trying to find out why your life is the way it is, why you are a certain way and how to cope with problems in a way that doesn’t do any more damage.

This line of thought goes in hand with another tumblr thing: Many people shit on self-dx because there's this nearly immortal assumption that people self-dx because it’s “cool” to be mentally ill. It’s not. Admittedly, teenagers are fucking weird and maybe some genuinely think they are ill when they are not, but I'm convinced that is the minority at best. Also, when we get to the point of preteneding to be sick that’s a legitimate disorder in itself. (Münchhausen or imposter’s syndrome. I've heard it called pathological lying, but that's quite a bit different and also a disorder that people cannot control and need help for.)

Let's look at a few statistics. In Europe 30% of people are officially diagnosed with a disorder under the ICD-10 / DSM-V. 75% of mental disorders start in adolescence (according to a German survey, BGS 98; here's also a link to the offical WHO page with statistics: HERE). The survey does not include those who are too ashamed to get help, who have no access to help, who are just not taken serious or have to fear abuse if it becomes known. Autism is not a mental disorder, obviously, but the staggering majority of autistics in the past was diagnosed as a child and face many of the same problems. (I’ll get to why the diagnosis age is a problem for autistic people in general in a second.) Now imagine finding a community of people who understand you, who can give you actually helpful tips, and you don’t have to reveal your identity. Anything classified as abnormal is still a taboo. People don’t believe you or make jokes about you. Example: I had to fight for an autism diagnosis because my dad, and I quote, says “there is nothing wrong with you”. No, there’s not, but I’m still autistic. That’s the mindset people apply to any neurodivergence. As to the matter of why so many people on the internet claim to be neurodivergent / mentally ill, I have a theory of my own. I can’t prove it, but it makes sense for me. Many neurodivergencies make it hard to go out. I’m introverted as hell, and often don't have the spoons to go out. So what do I do? I spend my life at home, browsing the internet. It takes me so much less effort to keep contact with people than if I had to go out and meet them. No sensory overload, nothing unexpected will happen. Meanwhile, the healthy people and extroverts are out and about having fun their own way. And, coming back to the community, on here it’s a lot easier to express your thoughts, especially on taboo topics.

Example: I think reading this text we can agree that my English (my second language) is reasonably good and that I’m a logical, intelligent person that can express arguments in an ordered manner. Right? Well, if you would be talking to me face to face, I would probably not make a whole lot of sense. I stutter, I lose trains of thoughts, I fall over my vocabulary, my pronunciation is often wobbly and then I will inevitably panic and make even less sense (this goes for talking in my L1 as well, in case anyone wonders). I’m not dumb, but face to face communication is hard.

Next up, the issue with psychologists and getting diagnosed. There is this pervasive notion that pschologists are The Authority (TM) who know everything and nobody else can be as good as them. Here's the thing: Psychologists are human. They’re not omniscient. And sometimes those psychologists are just shit. They can be sexist, and racist, and narcissistic. They can be condescending, and unable to admit they doN't know enough about a topic, and flat out ignore new evidence because it doesn’t fit their worldview. Go in the actuallyautistic tag. The amount of people who are dismissed by their therapists because this so called professional “has a feeling” they’re not autistic is ridiculous. Feelings don’t matter. Only the diagnostic interview matters, but the patients are denied that because a psychologist trusts his gut more than science. Without a decent self-dx it will be pretty hard to get diagnosed as a teenager or adult. On top of that, once you have learned to pass, autistic traits get lost or suppressed for fear of punishment. Often you have to convince them to test you with a detailed list that describes how you fit the DSM criteria. Which is by definition already a self-dx. "Oh, but psychologist are trained for that, surely they know!!!!!11!" I’m a psychology student. I just got an A in my clinical psychology class. I'll write my thesis in clinical psychology probably. The amount of diagnoses you have to learn does not allow to go in depth of anything. What a psychologist does is listen to you and check boxes on a list. (Sound familiar? I said we'd get there again.) We didn't even talk about autism. I did a presentation on it, found out my course teacher doesn't even know ABA is harmful (his point was "well the literature says it's effective"; Are You Kidding?). Our paedagogy prof spewed some ableist phrases pitying her friend that has an autistic kid. The perks of being an undercover autistic person :))) (That's sarcasm.)

To get back to the point: An ableist at worst, at best uneducated psychologist decides if you’re autistic, solely on what they have been told. The amount of posts that goes "I was denied diagnosis because I have good grades / are a girl / have friends / can talk" is ridiculous.

Example: I was in therapy three times until I was fifteen and NONE of them got the idea I might be autistic, despite me showing pretty severe symptoms. I had to self-dx and then convince my therapist to test me. I only even got that idea because we watched Rain Man in school. Seriously? Who knows you better: You or a psychologist you know for an hour?

Okay, before I get carried off, all of that assumes you actually get as far as being tested. To get there, it requires parents to listen to their kid. Parents typically don’t want anything to be wrong with their kid. (There’s nothing wrong with being autistic, but too many people still think that.)

Example: My dad still doesn’t believe I’m autistic. My diagnosis was four years ago. Because, I quote, “There’s nothing wrong with you.” No there’s not, but that doesn’t make me allistic.

The amount of stereotypes and ableist myths is staggering. Autism is one of the most misunderstood conditions I’ve ever researched. The DSM criteria are shit. They are, since decades, based on boys. They’re very limited, and while not wrong, describe things in a way that makes it hard for people to find "atypical" examples (stereotypical interests = trains). What about girls obsessed with horses? Nobody thinks that’s abnormal, yet it’s very possible. There are still a ton of people who think girls cannot be autistic, or if they are, to use the ableist principles this idea is founded on, they have to be “low-functioning”. The truth is, even the diagnostic interviews can’t pick up on autistic girls very well, that is a known fact. (Look at this link for example: HERE) I have most of those posts tagged either as info or ableism, but I don't have the spoons to check right now and my internet is shit.) To paraphrase the article and the other sources I know: Most autistic females just fly under the radar because they’re better at adapting and hiding it. That doesn’t have to be a conscious effort, but it’s exhausting, and then you sit there as a teenager and wonder why you’re feeling like shit because you never learned healthy autistic coping machanisms (or got punished for them).

Example: I didn’t learn of stimming, of dyspraxia, of sensory processing issue and literally everything that had defined my daily life until I found the autsitic community. I don’t think my therapist ever heard of that and I was labeled too “high-functioning” to actually get help. I managed, and back then I was fine, or thought I was after the depression wore off. I’m paying the price for that now.

People of color and women are severely mis- and underdiagnosed in literally everything medical. Teenagers are very rarely taken seriously, especially girls. Some people don’t believe autism exists at all. Now, assume somebody has understanding parents or teachers or is an adult, and could, thoretically go to a doctor to get diagnosed. Because (paraphrasing the original ask here) by validating self-dx we only push the notiion that you don't need a doctor to be diagnosed (which is again the Autority Lane (TM)). Well, yes, it would be preferable to get an official diagnosis, for the accomodations alone, but there is a shitton of reasons not to.

Example: I am currently undiagnosed. How so? My therapist made a deal with my parents that we would not write down the diagnosis, to prevent it from bringing me trouble. At first I was like “that’s ableist bullshit”. It’s not. Well, it still involves a lot of ableism, but there are a lot of reasons why I have to weigh if getting a diagnosis is worth it, even though I clearly need the help right now.

Here is a list of good reasons why someone could choose not to get professionally diagnosed:

money (in Germany healthcare is mostly free, but in the US getting a diagnosis can cost several thousand dollar)

autistic people are at a much higher risk of abuse, and don’t get taken as seriously (see ABA therapy and Autism Moms)

With an autism diagnosis you can be instituationalized far easier against your will (that works with almost all mental diagnoses)

In Germany you will have a harder time getting an insurance, they will make you pay more and don’t provide certain services e.g. You want an insurance for when you become unable to work, you know, like almost everyone has? Yeah, forget about it, autistic people don’t get that.

It can be used against you when you get in a fight about your kids’ custody

Medical ableism is a thing. You can have everything from a cold to cancer, from depression to borderline, it’s all The Autism. Autistic people are often seen as not having enough insight into their own body and mind to judge their own body (just like women, so as an autistic woman you're fucked twice as much :))) )

Getting a job outside of “supportive” businesses (read: they want Rain Man. They’re IT businesses who want autistic programmers and engineers, everyone else is pretty much fucked.) will be almost impossible. Autism is a disability and nobody wants disabled people past what the necessary quota is.

In the psych field there are no officially diagnosed people I know of, one researcher’s work was discredited when it came out she was autistic. I was already warned several times that I should hide my autism if I wanted to get a job at all.

basically, people are shit and can and will use your diagnosis against you

Lastly, I don’t really understand why people are so hateful towards the self-dx crowd. I can’t prove that there’s no black sheep, but most of them are people who look to improve their lives and better their mental health. Let’s put it like this:

The anti-self dx crowd: Only psychologists can tell if you’re autistic. Self-dx: I think I’m autistic. Antis: How dare you! I can clearly tell you’re not autistic. Fuck off, faker.

Call me cynic, but that is the core of reason most anti-self-dxers apply. Who the hell gave them the authority to judge other people? How do you know what a person is going through from reading two posts on tumblr? This isn’t some elite club. That kind of thinking ostracizes us even more when we alread have to fight so hard to be allwoed to live. Who are the self-dxers hurting? The ableists treat us like shit anyway. And honestly? I’d rather let in five fakers than have an autistic person suffer alone because of they can’t “prove” they’re autistic.

Dev out.

[rabbitindisguise]

Watercolors for Beginners (on a budget)

All these watercolor artists on YouTube have their favorite “expensive” brushes, meanwhile Jay Lee, who is an incredible artist, uses $4-5 dollar brushes. I’m not a fan of the cheapest ones still, like the $7 packs, because it’s hard for them to retain shape. The best brush for you- like writing software- is a brush you know well over a brush some artist in a fancy studio says Will Get Results. I think this is something that should have been obvious to me after learning photography equipment is more about skill than dollars once you get a DSLR or mirrorless, but enough about that. If you want to get into watercolor, here’s my advice a year in.

Materials

A standard round brush really is the most important brush- unless it isn’t. You can exclusively use flats, and it can add an interesting stylistic aspect to you work. But a round can do pretty much anything you ask from it. Generally, this brush is a size #8, #10, or a #12. If you splurge on anything at all, it should be your base brush, who will be with you for a very long time. Paint and paper are “consumables” so eventually they get used up, but a brush, even a ratty old one, is basically forever. Treat it well.

Some kind of large wash brush, like an oval brush, dagger brush, quill brush, or large flat brush. Or even thick, four inch wide, and slightly terrifying ones for wall sized large surfaces. Whichever one you pick, a large brush really does help give the smoothest washes and gradients for large areas.

Either a rigger brush, small round brush, small/medium flat brush, or even a fan brush. Riggers are good for detail and natural lines, fans for cool effects and lines, and flats for thick or thin lines. That said, these brushes do help certain styles. Riggers are excellent for naturalistic painters who like trees, and they’re also good for painting, well … rigging on ships. The fan is good for abstract, and the flat for geometric shapes specifically, but both of them have many more uses than just those. Rounds are the most multipurpose due to their influence on watercolor in the United States is, and a smaller size can be useful for detail work. All these different brushes fit into one category because they can do each other’s most important job, which is to make super thin lines.

Pans or tubes Don’t worry about cost because they’re about the same. Student grade is okay. I swear. If you’re not displaying your physical paper copies yet, relax. Lightfastness doesn’t exist on the internet. (Tip: learn Photoshop so that your watercolors will look good online, it will make a world of a difference.) If it helps to use the cheapest 7 pan set made by a crayon company so you actually paint, so be it. You’ll have to overcome your fear of using expensive materials eventually though, so student grade is a good medium between the two. Try and pick a brand that has both artist and student quality if you can afford it, so you can reuse pans if you pick that option.

Fluid, Canson, Arches, etc are some good name brands but explore your local art store or online options available cheaply (if you like goulash you can even use regular cardboard). Cold press is good for naturalistic subjects, absorbency, and texture. Hot press is smooth, less absorbent, and allows for re-wetting. Most people use coldpress, it has that classic watercolor look. There are also two main weights for paper, 140 lb which is often cheaper, and 300 lb which comes in higher qualities, often in large sheets. 140lb is best held down or in blocks, 300lb can be painted on its own, which is good for painting outdoors. You can also use the backside of both weights, 140 lb and 300 lb. Remember, this is LB as in pound. Some will say “300 series” or whatever. What’s really important is the weight, not the arbitrary classification by a company.

Fun stuff. Brushes that look weird. Metallic paints. Salt, water brush pens, saran wrap, natural sponges, and masking fluid. Water based ink. Complex mixing pallettes and jar systems to avoid having to get up mid-painting. Paint is supposed to be fun, or intellectually stimulating, or expressive, or whatever reasons you have for doing it in the first place. If making glorious paintings with three primaries in the woods using creek water in a cup sounds like a good time: ignore this next bit, and I respect you. If you’re trying to force yourself to do boring things because of online advice telling you to hammer the basics into your very soul before having fun, here’s the contradicting advice: have fun. It makes for better art, if nothing else.

TL;DR: moderately cheap paper is okay, to a point, which is the 140 lb minimum. Student grade paints are good for work you won’t display. You need three brushes, including a basic brush (#8 round is what I use), a detail brush (#4 rigger for me), and a wash brush (I have lots, even though I paint postcards, so definitely try to plan ahead for your standard paper size).

Extra information: having lots of brushes is really very fun- especially when you have some that you can mistreat. I don’t regret buying the other brushes at all. Go the cheap pack route if you haven’t figured out what “snappy” means, or shedding, or other qualities that makes good brushes good. Going cheap helps you appreciate the nuance of a better brush and gives you a good base, like downloading a basic texture pack for digital art, and something to scrub paint off pans with when they wear out.

I haven’t recommended any brands for a reason, which is there is a lot of brand loyalty among watercolor artists. Plus, I think you should do your own technical (lightfastness, qualities) and experiential (how does it Feel) judging. This is true of brushes, paper, and paint. If you’re totally lost on brushes, watch this video by witty gritty paper co, and this video by Liron, and this other video by Liron. For more research, there’s lots of science behind the quality of brushes, especially water uptake. ProArte is the only brand I know of using prolene synthetic material, which has better water uptake than standard synthetic, and you can find some packs online. I recommend the set with the rigger brush, because large wash brushes naturally hold a lot anyway. Oh, and synthetic is far cheaper than natural hair brushes. With paint and paper, sticking to name brands is a good guideline.

Again, one more time for emphasis. Take care of your brushes. Wet them a little while (Brush Experts™ recommend 30 minutes, I just do it at the same time I wet my pans) before you begin. Clean them thoroughly. Shape them to a point after use. Masking fluid can gunk up your brush, so be careful. Most importantly, don’t press too hard! Watercolor brushes are soft so that they can use the specific properties of water to carry pigment, and bending the bristles can disrupt that. Don’t drag them on the bottom of your water cups, don’t dig them down to the ferrules (the shiny metal or plastic bit) into your paper, and don’t scrape them along the paper unintentionally without enough water. Doing even a couple of these will drastically increase the lifespan of your brush.

Cost breakdown

About $15-20 on brushes, $35ish on paints, and as little as $7 on reasonably sized paper. It’s usually about .50¢ to $1 a sheet, and a pan set or set of tubes will last you a very, very long time. Many artists start using artist grade paints before they run out of student grade. This is about $62, which is a lot of money! So don’t be afraid of the absolute cheapest watercolors, but it’s important to fund your passions, too. You can absolutely start with one quality brush ($5 vs $20), tiny paper ($5), and decent student grade ($35) for $45 and still have everything you really need. Karia on YouTube should be coming out with more reviews, in addition to the ones already posted, on different cheaper materials that could help you save costs, too. Going to a store to avoid shipping helps on top of that, and gives you a chance to compare brush size vs your paper, and to see the different paint options next to each other.

A lot of this post was just me synthesizing information, so definitely check out the people below. These are free excellent watercolor tutorials, material reviews, advanced techniques, and more. I’m just starting in watercolor, but I remember being disappointed there wasn’t any guide on Tumblr on where to spend money and where you can save and still learn something. I hope this guide helps, in some way, to fill that gap, and it wouldn’t exist if I hadn’t had access to videos like these online.

Channel Recommendations

Jay Lee has fantastic tutorials at many levels of skill, mostly works with flowers and brighter colors. This channel is a good option for visual learners, and combines basic exercises with complex brushwork well. Also, this artist freehands, which means no outlining beforehand.

Liron Yanconsky doesn’t traditionally work in watercolor so there are fewer videos than than other content. Still, there are a lot of material and technical discussion, which was incredibly helpful when I was just starting. Liron mostly works with a natural pallette with landscapes. A special aspect of Liron’s paintings are the use of perspective. On top of that, there are multiple speedpaints to help with figuring out how light to dark works. This channel in particular is good for auditory learners, because he talks about everything from technique to mental blocks common to artists. Very interesting stuff, definitely subscribe.

Karia has a similar background to Liron, and the channel is much more low key. I especially like the cat visitors during the videos. The channel doesn’t really discuss much art wise, but still offers good content. Also, you can donate directly to Karia from the links in the description! Definitely consider it, based off all the hard to find comparison videos of paints.

TheWittyGrittyPaperCo is actually a company channel, run by Meredith, who is a self taught (through YouTube) watercolor artist. The channel has a fantastic overview of the basics, including materials, exercises, and other tips. A few specialized aspects are portraits and lettering. It’s also the kind of channel that talks about things that even google has a hard time answering- how much water, how to use new watercolor materials, legal things like reference photos, etc. I have used these videos the most I think, especially small tips buried in the longer videos, to improve my work. Like Jay Lee’s channel, there are tutorials for visual learners. I almost don’t need to subscribe because I revisit the videos so often.

Susan Harrison-Tustain is a watercolor artist from New Zealand who has some incredible instructional videos. Many of them discuss techniques that just aren’t that common on youtube. Susan even has her own brush series. Considering the information is usually found on DVDs, it’s worth at least one watch to learn terms and see specific effects.

Ekaterina Smirnova is another incredible artist. This channel includes tutorials, techniques, materials, and more. Many of these tutorials are freehand, and include both auditory information and visual information. There’s also videos in Russian. The channel updates regularly, but not often, so it would beneficial to subscribe if you like he videos.

That’s it! My inbox is open for anyone that needs help, there’s so much info I just couldn’t include because it was getting long enough already.

EDIT: I waaay over estimated the money for the paints. Cotman watercolors (a half decent beginner 12 color set) is only $13, making the basics cost only $23! I also forgot to mention a hand towel and ceramic plate to sacrifice to the pigments. The hand towel is for drying your brush to control water flow, and the plate is for mixing and diluting. Bought new, it would only be around $5 at most, but I'm assuming you might already have them.