#He saw her as a threat to his relationship with Sam and Dean and he acted.

[scoobydoodean]

I see this held up as major proof of Dean's badness, but couldn't it also be proof of Cas having faith Dean can get past anything without Cas having to change his behavior? The way it's structured the onus is on DEAN to work through it, not others to change or make amends. ---- CASTIEL: You know, Dean, he – he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known. So it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on.

I see what you mean in a general sense, and it's extremely possible that Cas is thinking about his own past fights with Dean and Dean forgiving him, and from the perspective of the critique you have in mind that you're refuting, I agree. But of course deancrit casgirls will forever insist that Cas has never in his life done anything harmful to Dean either accidentally or on purpose, so any time Dean might dare try to hold him accountable for anything, he's actually just making shit up and being toxic and controlling, so here Cas is just apologizing for his own abusive relationship. You can only get their take by being deliberately obtuse/disingenuous.

That said, the context of that line (from 15.13 "Destinty's Child") is Cas answering soulless Jack's question about whether Dean will eventually forgive him for murdering Mary.

CASTIEL: Hey, Jack. JACK: Cas, you know what's good about being dead? CASTIEL: Uh, as I recall, very little. JACK: Well, when you come back, you – you really get into all that life is. Hot, cold, sweet, spicy, funny, scary. CASTIEL: And are you? "Into it"? JACK: I want to be. But I don't... feel things the way I used to. Before I lost my... CASTIEL: Your soul. JACK: I used to feel things. In my bones. It was glorious, and sometimes unbearable. But I felt them. Now, I understand joy or sadness, but... I know those things aren't in me. I understand why Sam and Dean were angered by what happened to Mary... CASTIEL: By what you did to Mary. JACK: Yes. I see that I've caused them pain. And it's clear that things have changed. Especially with – with Dean. Will he ever forgive me? CASTIEL: You know, Dean, he – he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known. So it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on. JACK: How long will that take? CASTIEL: I don't know.

And yeah—I have seen people refer to Cas's little speech here as "condoning child abuse" and other bullshit. Because how DARE Dean not forgive soulless Jack for murdering his mother (something soulless Jack is unable to actually really acknowledge he did). I mean clearly any time someone murders your mom because she made them mad and threatened their sense of security by asking if they're okay and saying their concerning actions can’t stay a secret… That’s just natural understandable stuff! You need to forgive the person who murdered her instantly and if you don’t idk you’re kinda overreacting don’t you think? :/ I mean your mom probably deserved it kind of anyway for reading the room so wrong and talking about getting a person help. And I mean if you don't forgive the person who killed your mom or do anything trying to stop them from hurting more people you're really a child abuser... toward an adult... who murdered your mother in cold blood and is unable to even understand why it was wrong in any sense other than an intellectual one like he read it from a book... preferring to refer to it as "What happened to Mary" instead of acknowledge it as something he himself did because he was mad and felt threatened—which is what he circled back to in "Jack In The Box" too. It's only when Jack gets his soul back that he's able to actually feel true empathy, acknowledge his real actions and the gravity of them, and give an actual sincere apology. Because his soul is actually important—something this fandom refuses, by and large, to notice.

Anyway, this fandom's take on Mary's murder and soulless Jack vs. regular Jack is overwhelmingly a bag of wet third grader vomit and feces so what can one expect?

[fuiabarcelos]

Supernatural (Taylor’s version)

Hello hunters and Swifties!

I love reading supernatural stories inspired by songs and I'm addicted to Taylor Swift, so I decided to recommend stories inspired by her songs.

If I find more stories I might think about doing a part 2 or an update.

1 - Speak Now: By @darling-i-read-it

“Based on the song speak now”

Info: One shot - 1100 Words

Warnings: “Hexing being a bad thing, weddings, Fluff.” - Warnings and summary described by the creator.

Song: Speak Now.

2 - Speak Now: By @bi-bard

“(Season 7, Episode 8) During a trip that was meant to be a vacation, (Y/n) and Dean are met with some very surprising new from Sam and an old face.”

The author didn't say if it's really inspired by taylor's song, I just deduced that it was. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry.

Info: One shot - 1695 Words.

Warnings: “Drugging, threats of violence” - Warnings and summary described by the creator.

Song: Speak Now.

3 - When I saw your face: By @seriesxwriting

The story of how enchanted it was to meet Sam Winchester.

Info: One shot - 2069 Words.

Warnings: “Drinking, swearing?” - Warnings described by the creator.

Song: Enchanted.

4 - I Remember it All Too Well: By @bi-bard

“The story of the two hunters that lasted far longer than they should’ve. Each chapter shows that Sam and (Y/n) were either meant to last a lifetime or fall apart at the seams. (I used season 11 as a reference for ages)”

Info: One shot - 4905 Words.

Warnings: “Break-up, unhealthy relationship, arguing, cussing, I made Sam a terrible person and I'm not sorry about it.”  - Warnings and summary described by the creator.

Song: All too well (10 minute version).

5 - All You Had to do Was Stay: By @hellooo-tricksters

“When Sam jumped into the pit, you were devastated, you thought you would never get him back. Then he returns and he is not who he used to be, he is rude, aggressive and cheats on you. He goes, and after a year he returns at your door.”

Info: One shot -  2172 Words.

Warnings: “Swearing, a little angst and maybe a little fluff too.”  - Warnings and summary described by the creator.

Song: All you had to do was stay. 

6 -  How You Get the Girl:  By @hellooo-tricksters

“ It has been 6 months since you’ve last seen Sam. And now he decides to show up? “

Info: One shot - 1627 Words.

Warnings: “Swearing, smut if you squint I think…”  - Warnings and summary described by the creator.

Song: How You get the girl.

7 - Welcome to New York: By @d-s-winchester

An AU series, where each chapter is inspired by a song from the album 1989.

Info: Series - 13 Chapters. 

Warnings: “Angst, drinking, language, smut sorta” (Most of the chapters have no warning.)  Warnings described by the creator.

Songs: Welcome to New York, Blank space, Style, Out of the Woods, All You Had To Do Was Stay, Shake it off, I Wish You Would, Bad blood, Wildest Dreams, How You Get The Girl, This Love, I Know Places and Clean.

8 - Gorgeous: By @justagirlinafandomworld

“Sam Winchester ruined your life. And he might know it.”

Info: Drabble - 100 words.

Warnings: “Secondhand embarrassment probably. Maybe feel a little called out?”  - Warnings and summary described by the creator.

Song: Gorgeous.

9 - Paper rings: By @bi-bard

“(Season 12) After everything happened with the British Men of Letters and the return of Mary Winchester, Sam does a lot of thinking about his future. Specifically, his future with his partner.”

The author didn't say if it's really inspired by taylor's song, I just deduced that it was. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry.

Info: Drabble - 983 Words.

Warnings: “Mentions of torture” - Warnings and summary described by the creator.

Song: Paper rings.

10 -  The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me: By @bi-bard

“(Season 7) Sam had been struggling since he had come back from the cage. As his condition worsens, (Y/n) tries everything to help him.”

Info:  Drabble - 746 Words

Warnings: “hallucinations, past trauma”  - Warnings and summary described by the creator.

Song: Peace.

11 - Look at this idiotic fool that you made me: By @bi-bard

“(Y/n) finally puts their foot down with Sam. Sam trips over it.”

Info: Drabble - 787 Words

Warnings: “mentions of sex”  - Warnings and summary described by the creator.

Song: illicit affairs

1 -  Head First, Fearless: By @swiftlymoniquesblog

“ “But you’re just so cool, run your hands through your hair, absent mindedly makin’ me want you” from Fearless by Taylor Swift!”

Info: One shot - 2048 Words

Warnings: All the fluff!  - Warnings and summary described by the creator.

Song: Fearless.

2 - Enchanted:  By @d-s-winchester

“All I can say is I was, Enchanted to meet you”

Info: One shot - 1428 Words.

Warnings: “Language, fluff” - Warnings described by the creator.

Song: Enchanted.

3 - Speak now:  By @d-s-winchester​

“Speak now or forever hold your peace”

Info: One shot - 1305 Words.

Warnings: “None.” - Warnings described by the creator.

Song: Speak Now.

4 - Red:   By @d-s-winchester

“Missing him was dark gray, all alone”

Info: One shot -1048 Words

Warnings: “Sadness, heartbreak, death, dealing with death” - Warnings described by the creator.

Song: Red.

5 - All to well: By @the-winchester-pie​

Info: One shot - 2071 Words

Warnings: Angst?

Song: All too well. 

6 -  I’d Say I Love You Even at Your Darkest: By @bi-bard

“Doubt and guilt creeps in and convinces Dean to run for the hills. (Y/n) refuses to let Dean believe that they would ever be happier without him.”

Info: One shot - 1838 Words.

Warnings: “Self-doubt, arguing, cussing”  - Warnings and summary described by the creator.

Song: Forever winter.

7 - Style:  By @hellooo-tricksters

“Dean and the reader are in a no strings attached relationship since they met on a hunt. It passionate, steamy and complicated, but they keep returning on the same path, not matter which road they take.”

Info: One shot - 1869 Words.

Warnings: “Slight smut, mainly mentioning of it, maybe swearing, cheating?”  - Warnings and summary described by the creator. 

Song: Style.  

8 -  Dorothea: By @imaginestuffs

“Dean “doesn’t like” your music, or so he says.”

Info: Drabble - 913 Words.

Warnings: “ A few curse words I believe, and fluff!!”  - Warnings and summary described by the creator.

Song: Dorothea.

9 - Bloodmoonlit: By @moonlightspencie

“ Six years of friendship with more simmering beneath the surface. They thought they had no chance (but that’s romance).”

Info: One shot - 5400 Words.  

Warnings: “Drinking (a lot of it tbh), both of em being massive dorks, 18+ pls bc it gets mildly spicy at the end.”  - Warnings and summary described by the creator.

Song: Glitch.

1 -  I'll Let You In: By @bi-bard

“(Season 7 + 9) After gaining his memory back, Castiel has to leave to go help the Winchesters. (Y/n) promises to leave the door open to him. They weren’t expecting him to actually come back.”

Info: One shot - 2490 Words.

Warnings: “Mentions of death”  - Warnings and summary described by the creator.

Song: That’s When.

2 - Shake it off: By @kaz2y5-imagines

Dean and Sam find you and Castiel dancing "Shake it off" in the bunker.

Info: One shot - 1696 Words.

Warnings: None?

Song: Shake it off.

3 - Bad blood:  By @hellooo-tricksters

“Castiel finds the reader after they broke up 3 months ago. It was ugly, hard and painful, but now, now she works for Crowley. She’s a demon and she’s got all the right ways to show him what he did to her. He’ll pay.”

Info: One shot - 1439 Words.

Warnings: “Swearing, torture...slightly… Demon!Reader”  - Warnings and summary described by the creator.

Song: Bad blood.

 4 - My lover:  By @swiftlymoniquesblog

Info: Drabble - 574 Words.

Warnings: Fluff, slight mention of relationship doubts

Song: Lover.

5 -  I'm setting off, but not without my muse: By @bi-bard

“ Monsters are known for terrifying people. Some monsters even scare themselves.”

Info: One shot - 1575 Words. 

Warnings: “Character death, angst, suicide (seriously, read with caution)”  - Warnings and summary described by the creator.

Song: The lakes.

6 -  And if I didn't know better, I'd think you were talking to me now: By @bi-bard​

“ (Y/n) had grown up with the Winchesters, but Castiel was the one who really took on a father role over the years. (Y/n) has to cope with losing him and having someone else claim to be his kid.”

Info: Drabble - 866 words

Warnings: “Mentions of death, grieving, Child!Reader”  - Warnings and summary described by the creator.

Song: Marjorie.

7 - Safe and sound:  By @d-s-winchester

Info: One shot - 1231 Words.

Warnings: None  - Warnings described by the creator.

Song: Safe and sound.

If you guys know of more supernatural stories inspired by taylow swift songs, let me know as I might put them in part 2/update.

Enjoy the stories!

To the writers: You are amazing!

[shallowseeker]

eileen or rowena

This is the cruelest ask I've ever gotten.💔 How dare.

It should be clear by now that I'm partial to the MacLeods, especially their class struggles. Their lives were so bleak when they lived them. Rowena was left in a puddle of her own blood after giving birth. Crowley was tricked in an alleyway for his sexual insecurities and then tortured in Hell.

Like rats, they both kept fighting until they were temporary, tenuous Kings and/or Queens of the vermin. But even once they'd secured their respective thrones, everyone was dying to pledge allegiance to the "True Royalty" instead (Heaven, angels, princes of Hell, etc). We saw that even Rowena was struggling with insurrection in season 15!

And the tragedy is that when they choose ambition at the expense of everything else, they're doomed to lose, and that rocks my socks! It's a losing battle that burned Crowley out, and it's going to burn Rowena out, too. It's that old threat of nihilism that looms on the horizon, isn't it? The thing is, they're both deeply insecure and flitting from one strong protector to the next, barking loudly and pathetically posturing to cover up their own weakness. It's awesome. More than anyone else, they're both shown to want attack dogs, and their great mutual irony is that they consistently go after dangerous protectors that they cannot actually mold or subdue, no matter how much barbed innuendo or strongman-words they fling at them.

I think of Metatron's taunting to Hannah, that she wants someone, "Large and in charge." I think of Crowley going after Lucifer in season 12 in order to have, "A nuke in his pocket." You can't have something that powerful and also expect it to be an obedient automaton. You just can't. No matter how much you manipulate it.

Anyway, they consistently pick battles that they cannot win and bite off more than they can chew. When it comes to relationships, they'll sometimes posture, but also sometimes woobify themselves to try to cozy up to anyone who will tolerate them. Anyone.

///

I like Eileen. Eileen has the bones in her to be just as interesting as other mainstay SPN characters, and Shosannah is a superior actor of the highest quality, and she's one of the most athletic-looking hunters onscreen. (That lady is fast!)

That said, even her Hell arc is slept on, and how can a Hell arc be boring? It's boring because she didn't get to make enough mistakes. Eileen became interesting in season 12 when she accidentally shot a human and despaired over that mistake. She became interesting when she admitted to having major trust issues and a toxic mentor.

But the most interesting thing Eileen ever did was walk out of the bunker after her Chuck-induced existential crisis.

ON the whole, I need her to break Sam's heart a few more times in the sequel-I'm-going-to-sell-my-soul-for in order to place her in the Hall of Fame where she belongs. I need the scrumptious disillusionment and the complicated business of coming together as an imperfect partnership, that thing beyond the initial mooney phase of Charming-Acres-coded Margaritas.

To me, the fascinating thing about Eileen is that Eileen's bodily communication style stifles Sam's tendency to verbal vomit/overanalyze, and as a result, he opens up to her like a starved flower. It's a consistent opening, not just in regards to hunting and trauma, on a scale he does not do for other characters. They're dorky together. They cook together. That's so interesting to me! (Which is why I desperately need them to Break Each Other's Hearts and Disappoint Each Other and Disagree on Things.)

I want Sam to finally understand how uniquely difficult it can be when a spousal lover lets you down (he knows how it feels when family does it). I also want sequel!Sam to see how tough it is to strike that whole parental balance of safety versus independence with Dean Jr. It keeps me awake. I Think About It.

[minefield-of-a-ninja]

All fics are 18+ ONLY unless otherwise noted

SERIES

*at least three parts or chapters

28 Days - AU Dean Winchester x several AU SPN characters

Summary: Dean Winchester is an addict and an alcoholic, a USMC veteran, a father, and an older brother. As Battalion Chief with Lawrence Fire & Medical, Dean comes under investigation when he makes a dangerous and impulsive decision, defying his superiors and abandoning the team he is supposed to lead. He is given the choice to go to rehab for 28 days, or jail. His lawyer insists on rehab, and Dean begrudgingly abides.

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Emma Winchester, Jack Kline, Victor Henriksen, Jo Harvelle, Gordon Walker, Bille, Crowley, Rowena, Missouri, Meg, Pamela, Gabriel, Lydia, Casey, Jamie, Carmen, Tessa 

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, emergency action, fire, drug use, thoughts of death and dying, teen endangerment, references to underage drug addiction and prostitution, partially told through flashbacks 

Words: 33K

Author’s notes: Inspired by the film 28 Days and following canon themes from SPN, this is a fic about Dean, a firefighter who goes to rehab, not about Dean as a firefighter.

And Then There Were Three - Winchester brothers x original female character

Summary: Natalie and Dean are in a “not serious” relationship until one night, she and Sam take a step that will change things forever.

Warnings/tags: 18+ONLY, rough sex, squirting, anal sex, butt plug, bondage, dirty talk, orgasm control, double penetration, polyamory, W*ncest adjacent

Words: 13,500

Black Tie Optional: sequel to Plus One - Dean Winchester x Vanessa (OFC)

Summary: The last time we saw Vanessa, she was swooning over Dean’s lasting impression. Now, we fast-forward a year to see what she’s up to.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x OFC Vanessa Martinelli, (eventual) Sam Winchester x OFC Emma Olsen

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, HBO RomCom bullshit

Words: 17K

Combat Baby - Dean Winchester x Jo Harvelle

Summary: canon divergent - Dean’s sweet, but Jo likes him nasty

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, rough sex, biting, dirty talk, brief name-calling, exhibitionism, role play, squirting

Words: 3,073 WORK IN PROGRESS

God Only Knows - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: One weekend, years ago, lives rent-free in both of their minds. Three-part mini-series.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, pining, clothed sex, couch sex, hungover sex, fluff, roomies to lovers, idiots in love

Words: 5,500

If We Make It Through December - Dean Winchester x Donna Hanscum

Summary: Donna is horrified to learn that the boys have never had a proper Christmas, so she invites them to her house for the holiday.

Characters: Dean Winchester, Donna Hanscum, Sam Winchester, Jody Mills, Claire Novak, Kaia Nieves, Patience Turner, Alex Jones

Warnings/tags: there was no rebar, 18+ ONLY, fluff, light angst, domesticity, holiday celebrations

Words: 12K

The Kinda Girl You Like - Winchester brothers x original female character

Summary: After Sam reveals to Sofie his sub that he likes to watch, she decides that they should act on it. Then he tells her what exactly it is that he likes to watch…

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, sub-sharing, bondage, rimming, the jockey is my favorite sex position, dirty talk, W*ncest adjacent

Words: 6,500

Leaving Heaven - Dean Winchester x Taziana Smith (OFC)

Summary: Tazi is a bounty hunter of mostly human things. She isn’t firmly seated in the supernatural world, but she’s familiar enough that she’s recruited by an old friend of John Winchester’s to capture and deliver a brief acquaintance of her own.

Characters: MOC/Knight of Hell/Demon Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Crowley, Lee Webb, original characters

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, this is not your mother’s Dean Winchester, brief dub-con, mentions of the foster system, references to past rape, commiserating over childhood trauma, threats of sexual violence

Words: 16,500 WORK IN PROGRESS

The Mud On Your Boots - Dean Winchester x Donna Hanscum 

Summary: Dean and Donna finally give in.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, dirty talk, fluff, consent is sexy, period sex, fisting, blood as lube, shower sex

Words: 8k (permanent hiatus)

Plus One - Dean Winchester x Vanessa (OFC)

Summary: Vanessa hates weddings until she meets a handsome stranger who agrees to help her mix things up for the night.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, fingery things, squirting, and Dean has no refractory period bc this is fic

Words: 9,600

Pretty Reckless - MOC Dean Winchester x pre-slayer Faith Lehane

Summary: AU where s10 Dean stumbles upon another hunter so much like himself. When their connection grows inexplicably stronger, they find an answer they never thought existed.

Characters: Dean Winchester, Faith Lehane, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Crowley, Cain

Warnings/tags: 19+, rough sex, prostate massage, magical bond

Words: 15K

Run Me Like A River - AU Dean Winchester x AU Jessica Jones

Summary: AU wherein Jessica Jones is super-powered by gov’t experiments to create elite soldiers, the Winchesters are military officers in humanity’s War Against Evil, and they have all gone AWOL from their assigned roles. Dean and Jess embark on a relationship that ends abruptly and explosively until Dean calls her for help on a very personal case.

Characters: Jessica Jones, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Arthur Ketch, Malcolm is Jess’s cat 

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, this is not your mother’s Dean Winchester, major character death, unhealthy relationship dynamics, bondage, rough sex, anal sex, ptsd

Words: 14K

Seasons - Dean Winchester x unnamed female character

Summary: She is his safe haven, untouched by anything else or anyone. 

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, canon divergent - no Cassie or Lisa, non-linear storytelling, four seasons, angst, hurt/comfort, references non-con unprotected sex, loss of a pregnancy

Words: 12K

Temporary Scars - Dean Winchester x Donna Hanscum x Benny Lafitte

Warnings/tags: 18+, Angst, Donna has intimacy issues, Dean’s the sweetest, self-sabotage, sort of established relationship, Benny’s swoony as fuck, Dean’s in love, polyamory, pregnancy kink

Words: 4,500 (permanent hiatus)

Unopened At Your Feet - AU Sam Winchester x female narrator, AU Dean Winchester x female narrator

Summary: This is the story of how I broke my own heart.

Characters: Female Narrator, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Becky Rosen, Meg Masters, Benny Lafitte

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, weed-smoking, canon-compliant date-rape/roofie (Becky), love triangle

Words: 12,470 WORK IN PROGRESS

Where Is My Shiny Gun? -  Dean Winchester x Donna Hanscum (voyeur Sam Winchester)

Summary: canon divergent - Sam finds himself in a quandary when he realizes he has feelings for Donna by way of the obvious mutual attraction between her and Dean.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, Sam is kinky, Dean is adorable, so is Donna, Dean likes to give Donna massages, Sam directing while masturbating, brief spanking + breast slapping, brief knife play - no blood, W*ncest adjacent

Word Count: 7,800

ONE-SHOTS

A Fight For Love & Glory - Winchesters x you (female)

Summary: You’re struck by sex pollen, so Sam and Dean agree to help you out.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, sex pollen, feelings of guilt, ass play, dirty talk, W*ncest adjacent

Words: 2K

Bad Girls Underneath -  Ruby 2.0 x Dean Winchester x Jo Harvelle

Summary: Ruby and Jojo get hit by a sex curse again; this time, they need Dean’s help.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, magical-dick/male-gaze bullshit, probably too much commentary and emotional complication, why am I like this, I’m sorry, sometimes I can’t help myself, fisting, brief choking

Words: 2,600

Cactus - Dean Winchester x Meg Masters x Castiel

Summary: Post-battle, exhausted and wanting, Dean and Meg and Cas take care of each other.

Warnings/Tags: 18+ ONLY, dreamlike sex, a little choking, Dean’s always hungry

Words: 3,200

Caveat Emptor - Dean Winchester x original female character

Summary: Gabriela Cruz invests in a Victorian mansion in the middle of America where the rule of Buyer Beware is absolute. When her twin sister goes missing, a couple of federal agents show up. Lucky for Gabi, Dean and Sam Winchester are on the case.

Characters: Gabriela Cruz, Camila Cruz, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Ed Zeddmore, Harry Spangler

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, language, mentions death of family members, cursed object, mentions of blood + gore, sarcasm, twin dynamics, explicit sex

Words: 4,600

Crazy On You – Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: You’ve had a shitty day, but this beautiful, unfamiliar boy will make it all better.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, Impala Sex, there’s a knife but not in a bloody way

Words: 4K

Crossroads and Bound - Dean Winchester x female demon reader

Summary: He agreed to this.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, femdom, Dean’s tied to a chair, wearing a cock ring, face sitting, things might get a little rough, but it’s all in good fun, squirting

Words: 2,250

The Curve Of Your Pretty Gown - Dean Winchester x female reader

Request: Hey hon! Ok, so it’s my birthday today, so maybe a story about Dean surprising me/ the reader by turning up unannounced to wish me/the reader a ‘happy birthday’ and there’s lots of smut ❤️

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, a little angst

Words: 2,200

Deep - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: Dean shows you more about pleasure than ‘deep’.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, Dean being perfect, sensual massage, Dean being the best lay ever, biting, Dean being a fairytale prince, the jockey is my favorite sexual position, try it, it’s amazing, talking during sex, gratuitous use of terms of endearment bc it’s Dean

Words: 3K

Discord and Rhyme - Knight of Hell/Demon Dean x female reader

Summary: He’s on the prowl.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, this is not your mother’s Dean Winchester, rough anal sex, crying during sex, blood during sex, there’s a lot of purple prose and excessive descriptions of taste and smell here, sexual coercion, dirty talk

Words: 1,750

Ennui - Knight of Hell/Demon Dean x unnamed female character

Anonymous Prompt: “I really want demon dean stalking someone but I don’t know how to do that with consent? But guh just the thought of him.

Characters: Knight of Hell/Demon Dean Winchester x unnamed female character

Tags/warnings: 18+ only; this is not your mother’s Dean Winchester; stalking; exhibitionism; voyeurism; dirty talk; horny on aisle 3; fuck it, we ball

Words: 2,400

Equilibrium - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: They have balance.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, established relationship, cock warming

Words: 1,400

Get Down, Make Love - Winchester brothers x original female character

Summary: Steph decides to cut loose and push the envelope with her favorite fellow hunters.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, hot tubbing, drunk sex (consensual), dirty talk, mfm spitroast, W*ncest adjacent

Words: 3,200

Hark and Hush - Purgatory Dean x wolf spirit in a female body

Summary: This is the story of how Dean Winchester hunted, became enamored with, and slew the ancient spirit of the Big Bad Wolf.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, this is not your mother’s Dean Winchester, stalking, blood, gore, rough sex, character death

Words: 2,200

Hide Your Love Away – Dean Winchester x female hunter reader

Summary: Mutual hunters seek comfort for a night and a lifetime of memories.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, ass play

Words: 3,600

His Sword - Michael/Dean x female prostitute

Summary: Michael takes some time to remind Dean who’s in control.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, edge play, bondage, knife play, blood play, choking, rough sex, name-calling, character death

Words: 2,300

Just My Imagination - Dean Winchester x female Zanna

Summary: After Mary leaves the boys a second time, Dean needs a reset, or to blow off some steam – something. He heads out on a snowy evening the night before Christmas and finds just the right thing.

Warnings/tags: mature, Hallmark channel fuckery

Words: 2,800

One Night Only (23 in 1) - Dean Winchester x Mila (original female character)

Summary: While on a job in the middle of America, Dean enjoys a rigorous night of mutual gratification with a local art student.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, ass play, shower sex, dirty talk

Words: 5,500

River - Dean Winchester x Ty (Original male character), Dean x Benny implied

Summary: It’s Dean’s first winter after sending Benny back to Purgatory.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, implied underage prostitution, semi-public sex

Words: 1,600

Rules Are Rules - MOC Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: Dean hasn’t been himself lately. The Mark has seen to that.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, hand around the throat, rough sex, squirting

Words: 2,400

Shattered Like A Stone - Demon Dean Winchester x original female character

Summary: The Mark is demanding, and the demon in Dean can’t deny it any more than he can deny her; it just might get everything it wants tonight.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, this is not your mother’s Dean Winchester, rough sex, bondage, multiple object insertion, suicidal ideation, darkfic, self-destruction, bloody sex, sadism and masochism, anal sex, Jameson as lube, spit as lube, face fucking, Daddy as title, misogynist language, choking, strangulation, assisted suicide

Words: 6,800

Some Stranger’s Hand - 2009 Dean Winchester x 2014 Risa (The End)

Summary: He lost everything.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, plush pink pillow lips for my Eloise

Words: 1,700

Spark, Flicker, Blaze - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: Somewhere along the line, her life became something she didn’t like. On her 35th birthday, she makes a decision to change all of that.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, overly descriptive orgasms, Dean’s the best birthday present ever

Words: 2,200

Stuff & Thangs That Are Awesome… And Not Awesome - Dean Winchester x female character (1st person POV)

*TWD Crossover

Prompt(s): 1) Dean has been arrested twice for indecent exposure – once was in a grocery store. 2) Jensen or Dean x Reader, a small public place, he pins you to the wall, covers your mouth and fucks you. 

Characters: Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer, Rick Grimes, Shane Walsh

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, Rick Grimes eye-fucking, Shane Walsh having a pissing contest with a young, cocky Dean Winchester

Words: 1,300

Supernova - MOC Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: Since Dean’s had the Mark and the Blade, he’s pulled away from you, afraid of hurting you. You miss him, and you’ve had it. One night you push him to the edge.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, bondage, blood play, biting, bruising, knifeplay, rough sex, dubcon/mindfuck

Words: 2,500

Triptych - Dean Winchester x bisexual female couple

Summary: Dean’s on a case and meets two beautiful women. One of them is recently divorced, and the new couple invites Dean to help them kick off their new life together.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, sex toy, Dean’s real good at sex

Words: 4,700

Wait Till My Brother Gets Home - Winchester brothers x female reader

Summary: She wants to lose control.

Warnings/tags: 18+ Only, rough sex, hair pulling, mfm spit roast, bruising and chafing during sex, W*ncest adjacent

Words: 2,450

When We Fall Then We’ll Know Each Other - Dean Winchester x Benny Lafitte (voyeur Castiel)

Prompt: “There’s nothing wrong with women, but a woman can’t hold you down and fuck you like I can.” 

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, cum and spit as lube, anal sex, voyeurism

Words: 1,400

QUICK AND DIRTY

*1K words or less

Barbed Wire Carnival - Choose your own Winchester

Summary: Absence of feeling.

Warnings/tags: mature, angst, dark descriptions

Words: 300

Brimstone - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: He’s exactly what she wants.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY surprise, bitch

Words: 450

Bring It On Home - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: Let’s pretend Dean wouldn’t be terrified to welcome love into his life.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, established relationship, comfort, fluff, handsy Dean

Words: 1K

Communion - Dean Winchester x female reader

prompt: Fluffy dean or Jensen smoking weed plz, ty

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, marijuana use

Words: 1K

Crash Through The Surface - Dean Winchester x Jasen (original male character)

Summary: Dean remembers his First.

Warnings/tags: mature, bi-sexual Dean, references to prostitution

Words: 800

Custard Pie - Dean Winchester x female reader

Prompt: Dean/OFC based on Led Zeppelin’s ‘Custard Pie.’

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY oral sex

Words: 800

Drag You To The Shore - Dean Winchester x GN reader

Prompt: Dean Winchester settled in between someone’s legs on the bed. Like his back to their chest, their legs wrapped around him, heels keeping his thighs open while they jerk him off, explicit but soft vibes.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY

Words: 800

Fall Away Into - Dean Winchester x Ruby 2.0 x female reader (voyeur Sam Winchester)

Prompt: “Dean x reader x Ruby 2.0 with Sam watching from the corner.”

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY drug-induced sex, OOC Dean, mff spit roast, use of the word bitch during sex, rough sex, hate sex, W*ncest adjacent

Words: 530

Foxholes - Annie Hawkins x Bobby Singer/Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester

Summary: Annie recalls time spent with each man and what their facial hair told her about them.

Warnings/tags: mature language and references to sexual activity

Words: 349

The Gazelle - AU Dean Winchester x AU Benny Lafitte x female reader

Summary: They aim to please.

Warnings/tags: mature, power exchange, Denny apparent

Words: 1K

The Good Slayer - Dean Winchester x Faith Lehane

Prompt: Dean and our girl Faith. (This is a sequel of sorts for Pretty Reckless.)

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, talking during sex

Words: 800

Hollow - MOC Dean Winchester x female reader

prompt: Would anyone be willing to write something with Dean [or Jensen] x reader to the song Love on the Brain by Rihanna

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, dirty talk, rough sex, angst

Words: 1K

I’ll Keep Them Still - Dean Winchester x Jo Harvelle

Summary: Dean remembers promises and pictures in his mind. And he remembers her.

Warnings/tags: mature, songfic, angst, dream/afterlife sequences, purple prose, I’m sorry

Words: 1K

Just One More Peaceful Day - MOC Dean Winchester x female reader

Prompt: angsty Dean with the line “I can still remember just the way you taste” from the song “It’s been a while” by Staind

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, blood play, knife play, mentions of addiction

Words: 700

Laissez Les Bons Temp Rouler -  Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: He’s got a dirty mouth when he’s drunk. 

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, dirty talk, a dirty public bathroom during Mardi Gras

Words: 600

Lifting the Veil - Choose Your Own Winchester

Summary: You’ve been missing something of paramount importance - until now.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, infidelity, squirting

Words: 1K

Mind Blown - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: Mind-blowing orgasms can sometimes be literal.

Warnings/tags: mature, transient global amnesia after sex, dirty talk

Words: 560

Nihilism - Knight of Hell/Demon Dean x female reader

Prompt: Can you tell me about the morning after going several rounds with Dean he rolls over in bed and adjusts the covers, causing you to forget your shift to be his good girl a couple more times?

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, this is not your mother's Dean Winchester, name-calling, rough sex, nihilistic themes, Knight of Hell Dean, fantasies of being fucked to death? Idk it’s one of mine, might as well be yours, you’re female AFAB in this scenario

Words: 800

One For Tomorrow, One Just For Today - Dean Winchester x female reader

Prompt: before leaving on a hunt, Dean sings “Love Me Two Times” to his lady.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLT, Dean can actually sing, and he does it during sex

Words: 660

The Prerogative To Have A Little Fun - Donna Hanscum x Jody Mills x Winchester brothers (kinda)

Prompt: Donna’s visiting Jody for the weekend and the boys swing by on their way home from a hunt. Dean mows the lawn, Sam fixes a leaky shower head, Dean makes dinner, and they both do the dishes. Meanwhile, the ladies sit back and enjoy the domestic display.

Warnings/tags: mature, men doing manly things, inspired by Shania Twain’s song “Man! I Feel Like A Woman”, W*ncest adjacent

Words: 1K

Recompense - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: Dean is sorry for hurting the ones he loves.

Warnings/tags: mature, angst, Dean saying hurtful things then trying to make up for it

Words: 500

Scream - Dean Winchester x past-female reader

Summary: Dean tells us the real reason he loves “All Saint’s Day” as much as he does.

Warnings/tags: mature, references to coming untouched, getting turned on by scary movies

Words: 320

Soft Cell - Dean Winchester + teenage female

Prompt: Dean + reader dancing in the bunker

Warnings/tags: one F-bomb bc Dean

Words: 720

Through The White Night - AU Dean Winchester x original female character

Summary: 18th Century matrimony isn’t as simple as it is today.

Warnings/tags: mentions of wall sex and finger-y things

Words: 560

Wish - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: You want it to be love – but it isn’t. You want him – but you can’t have him. 

Warnings/tags: mature, sepia-toned angst ™ @boondoctorwho

Words: 765

With Pleasured Hands - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: He’s got secrets she has yet to uncover

Warnings/tags: mature

Words: 500

[wigglebox]

i surface from time to time waving the chuck won theory flag and i’m back again babeyyyyy

*the following is an utter denial of that heaven endgame and that cas is there so if you don’t agree with that then this post may not be for you! 

Let’s talk about this shot. 

This shot... makes me feral. Especially knowing 15x04 was the first episode they shot for the season. 

This shot is why I just cannot accept the fact that they are actually in Heaven, nor that Cas is there. 

Let’s start here. The fireplace mantle.

This mantle is like an adult toy shelf. We’ve already been in Becky’s space where she’s creating things that are like “toys”. They’re models, sets, other merch items. But here, it’s all decoration. You have funko pop stuff action figures — toys. It’s all toys up there. It’s a toy shelf. 

While they’re talking about Chuck getting his motivation and inspiration back, he takes the little Sam one down, fiddles with it, and puts it back in the opposite direction. 

There is also some Cas ones up there.

It’s a toy shelf. 

A lot of folks will say that the presence of Cas at that Road House means he’s in Heaven, but in my one on one with Misha he said that Jimmy was supposed to be dressed as Cas. 

To me, this plays into the theory that Chuck just cannot control Cas whatsoever and it’s only gotten worse as time goes on. He can’t even create a fake Cas. The only way to do so is to pull over his vessel who’s in Heaven and dress him like Cas. The last time we saw Jimmy he was not wearing the coat and tie. So putting him in this outfit would have really signaled to us that something is wrong. 

More on that in a bit. Stick a pin in that. It’s a big reason why I don’t believe Cas is with Dean by the end, nor do I want him to be. 

But going back to the toy shelf — look at this at the end. 

I always forget her family photo is on this toy shelf. 

In talking with friends about the Chuck Won theory, I use the metaphor of Chuck putting Dean and Sam up on the ‘toy shelf’ bc he’s done playing with them. Much like this toy shelf here. 

But that does not mean they’re dead. And this family portrait up there is why. 

Chuck by the end of the episode Thanos’ed Becky’s family and then her. But before he dusts her, they have this exchange:

BECKY: No! The kids.

CHUCK: Oh, don’t worry. They’re not dead. They’re just away.

Sam and Dean aren’t dead, they’re just away. They’re put back up on the shelf. Chuck is done with them.

The shelf itself? The Empty. 

My poor friends have had to listen to me ramble and rant about this theory that Chuck and The Empty were working together, and that’s how Chuck managed to get the plot going in his favor. 

This right here is why I think that. 

The Chess Board TM 

Right now the game is not in play. Everyone is set at their starting positions, where they know to be. The position that esablishes their role. Chuck at this point in the narrative doesn’t know where to go or how to start in that direction, so the game is not yet in motion. 

But there’s a chessboard regardless right in the foreground of the shot [thanks jackles] and that’s another metaphor I keep mumbling about to my poor friends. 

If the toy shelf is The Empty, then the chess board is Chuck’s plan; his game. 

In constantly thinking about the Chuck Won theory, I think about who’s left on the field — and no one is. 

Chuck managed to get rid of every threat against him by the end of the show. And, if he’s in cahoots with The Empty, then he knows about Cas’ deal. He knows he can’t tell Cas what to do, but he can put Cas in a situation that’d force him to act. 

So now we got:

Billie — who already didn’t like the brothers, Dean in particular all that much, antagonized against Dean after Dean hits her with the thingy thing she has idk I can’t spell it. Chuck starts dusting people, Dean thinks it’s her. They have a forced hostile relationship, thus putting Dean in a lot of danger. Chuck knows the only way to contain her is to get the Empty down there to get her but there’s no way to do that — unless —

Cas — Putting Dean in a situation where his life is in danger like that would automatically cause Cas to respond. Chuck may not be able to control him but ‘too much heart’ was always Cas’ problem, and while it’s a strength it’s also a weakness that can be exploited at times. So, put Dean in a position where he’s about to die, Cas is going to call The Empty down to get Billie and sacrifice himself in order to save Dean. 

So now Chuck got rid of two threats and they’re gonna be kept there by The Empty who’s working with him. 

Jack — The Empty, working with Chuck, is leading Billie on a little bit with this plan that Jack can be Thee Solution TM but here’s how to do it. However, the plan wasn’t actually to defeat Chuck, it was to prime a vessel for him. If you can’t beat Jack, join him — by... possessing him. In my opinion, this season was about preparing Jack to be a vessel, not to defeat Chuck. Why I think this is because Jack had a monolouge at the end of 1519, but the ‘villain’ in 15x20, Jenny, had 8 words. Jack to Chuck is the villain. But also, ironically, Chuck is the villain to OUR protagonists, and Chuck also knows that. So Jack-Chuck got the monologue, and said ‘Chuck [myself] wrote himself into the narrative, that was his mistake.’ So essentially, Chuck nabbed himself a new ride and is off to the races. 

Amara — Chuck appealed to her sense of love for humanity and this idea of love as a weakness in general and basically silver tongued his way into getting her to join up with him. How on earth did the boys defeat Chuck when he’s literally at full power now? But anyways. 

Michael — I don’t think Michael was AS big of a threat but likely Chuck knew that Michael could be talked into doing the right thing by Adam. But literally just in case as an insurance policy, he feeds Michael and pulls down Lucifer to feed to Jack so Jack can get strengthened up. Adam, his moral compass, is also gone, making it easier. 

Dean, Sam — Just... put them back on the toy shelf. They believe they defeated the bad guy, and just go back to life as normal. Almost way too normal. Like a deep regression. Get Dean out of the way first bc his death was always going to be tragic bc Chuck likes that shit. Sam can live his little life or whatever and then he can bite the big one and go join Dean and they have no idea that they aren’t, actually, in Heaven or reality at all. 

So that’s the chessboard cleared, and Chuck’s calling Check Mate. 

*another side tangent — a lot of folks write off 15x01 to 15x03 but if you take into consideration what was going on, in a broad sense, you get a bunch of souls, trapped in a bubble, trying to escape. And wouldn’t that just be fitting for a continuation? 

Some other things I wanted to note:

I don’t believe Cas is in heaven. For one thing, narrative wise, makes no sense. There’s no Empty rescue, there’s no reason to believe he got out on his own. The Empty CAN hold humans, they just don’t default to The Empty. But Billie threatened to throw them in there so — The Empty can hold humans so even Cas’ fading grace wouldn’t have had an impact. In all the times Cas has died we have had to wait a very long time to see him again. There’s just one time, the season 5 finale, where we didn’t. Otherwise: Season 4-5 hiatus, Season 7, Season 7-8 hiatus, season 12-13 hiatus and subsequent episodes etc etc. To me, bringing Cas back for 15x20 kind of dulls the impact of 1518 which was just one episode prior. There’s just 15x19 between them [and no even if there was a 22-23 episode season it’s still not enough time]. There’s no effort made to get him. Plot beat wise, it makes literally no sense for him to just magically appear like haha hey waddup it’s ya boi skinny penis 

But also, going along with the Chuck Won theory — Bobby had said that ‘Cas helped’ Jack fix up Heaven. How... in the fuck... did Jack get Cas out of The Empty? How. The Empty hates HATES both of them. ABSOLUTELY Hates them. 

Also, Jack said basically he was going to be hands off, and I’d imagine that includes plucking people down from The Empty. 

However, you know who does pluck people out of The Empty? Chuck. Though no, I don’t think Chuck took Cas out of The Empty either. 

But also, The Empty is loud! Everything is awake! We have no reason to believe it’s not because we weren’t given evidence that anything happened up there. Where we left off was: Cas and Billie taken ALIVE to The Empty which is awake and loud now. Nothing else. 

And Jack MADE it loud. The Empty hates Jack, The Empty hates that Cas keeps getting away — they’re not going to just walk in and walk out. 

So that made no sense to me. 

But also on another note: In 15x02 they managed to sneak in that VERY pointed and thematic line of “You asked what about this is real? We are” from Cas. 

Cas is the ONLY one who has escaped the narrative. It’s why Chuck hates him so much. Cas is the beacon of ‘real’. He’s the truth, he’s the antithesis of Chuck. He’s the Free Will guy and Chuck is the Puppet Strings Guy. 

The reason why, if the Chuck Won theory is correct, I don’t want Cas in “Heaven” is because I don’t want Dean to ever EVER EVER question if Cas is real or not. I don’t want him, if Cas is rescued and they all live happily ever after, to constantly be worried at night that he’s still locked up somewhere and whatever is happening isn’t actually happening. 

Cas has to remain this beacon of truth. Chuck can’t recreate him or make an imitation. Cas has to be able to exist as someone Dean can look at and go ‘Real’. So if Chuck Won is correct, and they’re really not in heaven and it’s all a mirage to placate the boys, then I don’t want Cas there. 

I don’t want Cas, The Truth, Reality, to ever be anything other than that. 

[vaicomcas]

In Season 10 Crowley suffered a string of betrayals:

--Demon Dean humiliated him and tried to dominate him in front of his subordinates when he was "in love" (according to the show's portrayal much to my anger) with Dean

--Dean manupulated him, lied to him to take the first blade from him

--His mother tried many times to undermine him and eventually to assassinate him

--Sam used his concern for Dean to trap him, and not only tried to kill him but spewed hateful judgment to him condemning him as a monster

So when Castiel summoned him for help, he was of course grumpy. And when Castiel made a half-hearted threat (his eyes didn't even glow), Crowley blew up with anger: "burn those eyes blue, spread those broken wings and DESTROY ME!"

I've realized that this was the only time through this arc that Crowley showed unrestrained anger.

When Dean humiliated him, he responded smoothly with "the crazy ones, they are good for a fling, but they are not relationship material... It's not me, it's you."

When Dean revealed how he manipulated him to get the first blade, he didn't react, simply blinked away. (Castiel was the one who looked at him sadly as if feeling hurt on his behalf--I know the show didn't mean it. But honestly look at this face.)

When he overcame Sam's attack and towered over him, he acted triumphantly, regally, telling him "I want you to know the only reason you're alive is because I allowed it."

When he met with Rowena and confronted her about her abandonment of him, he was poised, self-assured.

Look--this is Crowley. It is not surprising. For one, he was used to being hated and despised. Second, he would not cede any ground by showing vulnerability to his enemies, even if he still cared about said enemy deep down.

As far as hurtfulness, Castiel's offense was pretty minor compared to the rest. There wasn't an emotional betrayal; it was a routine angel-demon dynamic to be expected, a business tactic. Yet, it was with Castiel, and only with Castiel, that Crowley exploded. Let his hurt and anger out.

Because this line, "destroy me", it was delivered in anger, but was it not the cry of a deeply wounded soul? It was admiting that the world had done its worst for so long that he had nothing left to lose.

He only showed it to Cas. Because he did not consider Cas enemy. Because he still trusted Cas.

And Cas saw it, and understood it. That's why he readily backed down and begged, with dramatic flair no less. That's why he gazed into Crowley's eyes earnestly. And Crowley looked back and knew that Cas understood. That's why when he confronted Rowena, he started his monologue to Cas first.

[fanfic-corner]

10–50k Destiel Fics pt 3

Here is the third and final part of novella-length Destiel fics for your reading enjoyment!!

You can read part one here and part two here.

Crazy Hex Girlfriend by whichstiel (10k)

Dean and Castiel infiltrate an extravagant couples-only Halloween party at the invitation of the party’s host who has been receiving mysterious threats. They patrol the party for hex bags and dark altars, interview suspects, and Dean happily scores a lot of free food. He just wishes he could score with Cas.

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits (10k)

For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental.

It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless.

Broadway Musical by Griftings (12k)

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle.

The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at.

Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

akasha by quillquiver  (14k)

Five years ago, an angel fell off the coast of Cannon Beach, Oregon.

Dean’s coming off a vamp nest in Boise when he gets the call on his Other Other Cell: two dead, definitely his kinda thing. But when he arrives in town, what originally looks like a cut-and-dry case soon turns up more questions than it does answers: What kind of monster uses medical equipment to exsanguinate its victims? Why is this monster here in the first place?

And what the hell is up with the witch at the end of the street?

Down Like Water by museaway (14k)

There's no time for nerves, no time for second guessing. There's only right now, and right now he has Cas.

Start Quoting Shakespeare and We're Done by pyrebi (15k)

In which Dean has the hots for a librarian named Cas, Cas may or may not have the hots for a mechanic named Dean, and Gabriel joins Sam in the peanut gallery in the hopes that he might just get to do a horizontal tango of his own.

Take You To The Country by almaasi (18k)

A Dean/Cas 1950s AU. Dean reads an elopement proposal in the town's local newspaper, written by some old soul in love with their best friend. He's mid-way through expressing to his brother how beautiful he finds it when Dean realises the proposal is for him.

What Happened In Vegas by Ltleflrt (18k)

Long time friends Dean and Castiel are road tripping from Chicago to San Diego for Sam and Eileen’s wedding, and a pitstop in Las Vegas turns into drunken love confessions and a surprise marriage. Turns out the pining has been mutual this whole time, but now they’re finally together and on cloud-fucking-nine. Until they remember that this trip isn’t supposed to be about them.

To avoid undermining Sam and Eileen’s important weekend, they decide to keep their new relationship status a secret. They’ll keep the heart eyes toned down and their hands to themselves, but the struggle is real.

Bottoms Up by mnwood (18k)

Sam could’ve kissed them both when he got to the bunker one day to find a string of clothing (his heart nearly burst with hope when he saw the abandoned flannel and trench coat) leading to a very naked pile of limbs tangled on the couch. Just kidding. Of course it wasn’t the couch. Sam always imagined it as the couch because the fact that he actually found them on the dining room table had tainted the happiness of the memory.

Muscle Memory by komodobits (18k)

Dear Castiel, 

Hello – it’s Castiel. This must all seem very confusing, and I’m sorry for that. Dean says to tell you that this isn’t some kind of ‘time-travel stunt’, although I’m sure that won’t be your first thought. I know it wasn’t mine. I’ve told Dean to leave now, as this is my notebook and I want everything in it to come from me – or rather, from you. I know you think it's the fifteenth of January, 2010, but it isn't. At the time of my writing this, the date is the fourth of October, 2013. Dean Winchester is your boyfriend of a year and a half, and you no longer work at the library, and in early 2010 you were hit by a car and hospitalised. I’m sorry.

a.k.a the 50 First Dates Dean/Cas AU where Castiel wakes up on a day just like any other, except that three years have passed without his knowing, and Dean Winchester is in the kitchen wanting to marry him.

Sharing the Rain Dog by almaasi (19k)

When some asshole hits a dog with his car and drives off, the first two people on the scene are Dean and Castiel. Castiel's an FBI agent with a plane to catch, and he doesn't have time to take the dog to the vet. Dean's a musician, and he doesn't have the money. An agreement is reached: Dean goes, Castiel pays, and they'll exchange details and meet again to work things out. But who gets the dog? Sooner or later they're going to realise that having shared custody of one pitbull isn't ideal. She needs one home, not two. One stable, loving home...

Something Icky This Way Comes by almaasi (21k)

Charlie Bradbury is a professional investigator of supernatural happenings, and Dean Winchester is her work partner and best friend, currently bunking in their office. Requiring insight for a particularly bizarre case on the night before Halloween, they call their go-to FBI lab guy, Castiel – who Dean hates. Totally and completely despises. And yet somehow they’ve always gotten along perfectly well in the heat of the moment. Anyway, there’s an ectoplasm-producing rabbit high on catnip floating around the office, and the creature’s predicament really needs to be addressed, or Charlie’s Halloween party will have to be cancelled. And nobody wants that. Least of all, Cas.

The Cabin on the Lake by DeanRH (22k)

The Winchester brothers are long lost to history. The angel keeps the vigil, haunted by the shadows of his regrets.

Among other things.

Purgatory, director's cut by runsinthefamily (23k)

I promised, long ago, to revise and expand my Purgatory series and consolidate it into one fic. Et voila.

Once Upon A Time in a Disney Store by noxsoulmate (23k)

When Castiel Novak gets sick and loses his voice for a few days, he comes up with a clever trick to explain his lost voice to the kids in the Disney Store he works at. One little Mary Winchester, however, takes his note too serious and promptly starts a quest for his prince. Will her charming uncle be able to break the curse and be his one true love?

When Charlie Met Cas by riseofthefallenone (24k)

Charlie is back in all her glory. The Winchesters have showed up on her doorstep and she’s making the best of it the only way she knows how. By being the little sister Dean never wanted and shipping the shit out of Destiel.

Crazy Diamonds by pantheon_of_discord (24k)

A week ago, Dean was pulled out of Hell. Now, he’s apparently woken up in 2018, and the angel that a mere twenty-four hours beforehand had threatened to chuck him back into the pit is sleepily pouring himself coffee and wearing Dean’s second-favourite Zeppelin shirt. It all seems like a perfect happy ending, but with Hell’s scars still so fresh, Dean can’t imagine how he could have possibly gotten there.

At the same time, the Dean who went to sleep in the bunker, right next to Cas, wakes up on Bobby’s couch in 2008. He’s instantly bombarded with questions by a Lilith-obsessed brother and a man who’s been dead for years, and must decide between keeping his finally-perfect life intact, and the lives he could save by re-writing history.

Regardless of these choices, both Deans are trapped in the wrong decade, and their only way back lies with a Castiel still very much under Heaven’s thumb – one who might find the future Dean describes difficult to believe.

Ace of Hearts by whelvenwings (26k)

Castiel has felt like an outcast and a freak for years, and is living life mechanically, going through the motions. That all changes when he meets Dean Winchester, who decides to show him some of the better things in life - and get Cas to pay attention to all the things he's been missing.

My Life is a Movie by Tenoko1 (28k)

It started out a simple case. Then it got complicated. And thank you very much, but Dean Winchester does NOT appreciate his life having a soundtrack like a freaking chick flick, even it's starting to resemble one.

Partnered by K_K_TiBal (28k)

Dean didn't think that his life as a detective could get much worse after Castiel was promoted to lieutenant.

Castiel was a stickler for the rules, had no sense of humour, and never seemed to give Dean a break, even though they used to be partners.

But then, despite all of their questionable history, the two are asked to go undercover on a case in the wealthy suburbs of California. . . as a married couple.

Darkly Dreaming Dean by Duckyboos (29k)

Dean Winchester has the perfect apple pie life with his shy-but-sweet boyfriend in the suburbs. He has a steady, well-paid job with the LAPD and he’s charming and attractive.

Really, he’s living the American Dream.

It’s his extra-curricular activities that some may disagree with, as he’s also an accomplished serial killer.

To date, his kills amount to around 36 and he’s never been caught. He’s employed by the law, remember? He knows how these things work.

A new serial killer arrives on the scene and despite the sloppiness of their work, Dean is intrigued by them and what they're trying to achieve, because their MO is the same as his; killing bad people.

He makes it his mission to track the other killer down before the police do, and he’s left reeling when the 'Basin Vigilante' turns out to be someone a lot closer to home than he could have ever imagined.

Stand By Me by whelvenwings (31k)

Dean Winchester has been alone for a long, long time.

When he and Castiel happen to find each other - a couple of survivors in a world that’s been all but wiped clean - Dean’s looking for his brother; Castiel is looking for something to look for. They stick together, because neither of them much wants to be alone. They hate each other at first, of course. Dean hates Castiel for being weird and quiet and ironic and antagonistic and proud. Castiel hates Dean for being blunt and reckless and coarse, for drinking, for refusing to talk about how he feels and just pretending everything is fine. Most of all, they hate themselves and each other just for being alive. What right do they have to be alive? No one else seems to be.

But against his own will, Dean starts to notice things about Castiel that he likes. Starts to hope that Castiel might like him, too. And together, they start to fight for a world where they're both alive - and that's a good thing.

the inexhaustible silence of houses by Askance (31k)

Almost two years after the world doesn't end, Castiel falls from grace—and loses his voice in the process. It is the impetus for confession and change; before long, he is settling into a loving relationship with Dean, the Winchesters are tired, and hunting for a place to land has taken precedence to hunting anything else. Dean and Castiel fall in love with the strange little house on the end of Swallowtail Drive, and for a little while life is as it should be—sweet, affectionate, and beginning afresh.

But more and more Castiel sees and hears things in the house that beg the question of whether or not a place itself can be alive. The walls and rooms seem to shift and grow and breathe, and one night, Dean comes home from a hunt changed in a way that Castiel cannot explain. In the months that follow, their domestic bliss takes turns for the dark and sour, and the confusion of their circumstances will ultimately test everything Castiel knows about the man he loves, and everything he believes to be true.

flowers in the backyard by justkeeponwriting  (34k)

After Uncle Bobby’s death, Dean goes to check up on the cabin that he’s inherited. Dean hasn’t been at the cabin for years, but he knows Bobby hasn’t renovated it in ages, so he isn’t very thrilled to be saddled with it. Upon arrival, he notices that unlike he expected, it’s not unoccupied, nor falling apart – instead, a stranger called Castiel has made it into his home.

Just Like You by imherecauseimnotallthere98 (35k)

When John shows up at their door in the middle of the night, the Winchesters and Cas start looking into who or what could have brought him back. Meanwhile, Dean struggles to keep his relationship with Cas a secret from his father, with some help from Sam. The tension rises between the Winchesters as Dean shows John that he is no longer the obedient little soldier he once was, and tries to establish himself as an equal with his dad.

999 Days From Now by RebelSpaceOddity (35k)

An AU in which a recovered alcoholic Dean owns a diner, Sam is in law school and is clueless about the way Jess looks at him, and Cas? Well, Cas turns Dean’s world upside down and maybe, just maybe, gives him a reason to have a little faith.

The love of a lifetime told in a heartbeat.

Seeking Friendship by mnwood (36k)

The information pops up in Castiel’s head as if he’s reading it on his computer screen right in front of him. He had come across Dean’s dating profile the very day he made his own three months ago. He must’ve looked at 20 or 30 different profiles that day, but Dean’s was the only one that kept replaying over and over in his head for a week after. "Dean W., seeking friendship."

Rewriting the Book by MonPetitTresor (37k)

When Sam gets a little too close to stopping Metatron’s plans, the angel decides to use some of his extra juice to get Sam out of his way by sending him to a completely different reality. He never could’ve predicted what Sam might find there – or what he might bring back home with him.

'Star Wars is Overrated' by leftdragonpainter (38k)

When Dean Winchester turned sixteen he was disappointed by the words that appeared on his chest. He never expected that it would take so much to find his soulmate. He never expected to not remember meeting them...

What Holds Us Up by frecklesarechocolate (39k)

What happens when John Winchester suddenly comes back to life, and meets the boys as they are today?

Just Your Heart, In Exchange For Mine by noxsoulmate (46k)

Dean owns a bakery and Castiel loves his pie. This could be such a cute little bakery love story – if it weren’t for the fact that one was a retired hunter and the other one a powerful witch. There’s also the matter of the black little cat Dean finds in front of his bakery one cold and rainy night. Not to forget the crazy witch on the loose, ripping out other witches’ hearts.

Sleepless in Lawrence, Kansas by PrinceMalice (50k)

“Um, yes, hi. My name is Sam and I’m calling from Lawrence, Kansas.”

A new voice... Castiel loved new voices. They always had new stories to tell.

“Kansas… well, it’s not really midnight down there, is it? What keeps you up?” he asked.

“I’m worried about my brother, Dean.”

And that's it! Thank you for bearing with me splitting this up into three posts. And, as always, thank you to all the brilliant authors who shared their fics with us!

If there is ever a fic rec list you would like me to make (or you just want to chat), please feel free to drop me a message or an ask! And I wish you all a very happy new year :D

[supernaturalwhxre]

Secrets out

TW- abortions and past relationship troubles

Me,dean and sam are on a hunt but suprisingly john joined us claiming he just needed to get his mind off of the demon that killed his wife.

Were investigating a ghost woman that seems to be attacking young children and babies, many children have already died because of her.

The family living here at the time left the house so we could investigate fully. We were walking around listening to footsteps, when i walked into the babies room and i keep seeing a woman all in white with long black wet hair walking around but when i catch her shes gone.

“Tell me the story again sammy” i asked him

“Uh its a woman in the 1930s her baby drowned in the bath at 3 months old and she killed herself by also drowning two days later and now shes rumoured to kill any babies in the house out of jealousy,since the 1930s 24 children have died under unknown circumstances”he recited after studying this case for a few days.

I saw the woman rush past the doorframe again as i leaned towards dean

“I saw her again dean, stay here im going after her”i whispered to him before rushing to catch her.

I caught up to her in the bathroom as she sat on the floor and sobbed.

“What did you do?”i asked her knowing theres something more to this story

“My my husband,he never wanted the baby, we had our baby before we were married, it was a sin,he killed our baby not me!” the ghost explained quietly as i sat beside her, not thinking she was a real threat.

“You committed a sin”she said looking at me with her dead grey eyes.

I knew immediately what she was talking about

“You killed your baby before he even had a chance at life” she said standing up and hovering over me.

I knew she was going to do something so i also stood and started running back to dean.

We were at opposite sides of a hallway when i saw him and ran while screaming

“Dean she knows about charlie!”dean face dropped as it all pieced together

“You two killed your poor baby, she doesnt deserve her baby!”the ghost screamed.

I didnt have time to be confused at what she said, as she was dragging my feet down to the basement.

She threw me on the ground and i couldnt get up from the ground as she started walking around.

“You killed your baby,how could you do that to such an innocent life!” She circled me

Deans pov

“What was she talking about dean? You had a baby?!” Dad asked me with clear concern.

“We were stupid dad, i was 17 and she was 15 we had been together for a year but we couldn’t of had it,it killed us both but i have no idea what shes talking about now, y/ns not pregnant she cant be”i explained.

“For gods sake dean” dad sighed

“What?!” I asked getting annoyed

“Y/ns pregnant, the ghost only attacks people who have had miscarriages or abortions, babies and pregnant women” dad explained

We all ran down to the basement, but the door was locked.

I ran outside to the window the basement, and smashed it and ran in not caring about my bleeding hand with glass shards inbedded.

Y/ns pov

The ghost was getting more and more irritable

“Y/n im here!”dean yelled as he jumped down from the window and ran towards me as john and sam got through the door.

“Ah ah ah the worlds best father”the ghost joked evily

“You had just as much of a part in this as she does, allowing her to kill your child” she spat at dean

“We were just kids!” Dean yelled at her as john and sam helped me up.

“Not an excuse!! You two killed your baby so now she must die” she said as she looked back at me and i felt a throbbing pain in my stomach as the word murderer were getting cut into my bare stomach.

“Please dont do this,im pregnant!” I screamed

Deans face met mine with confusion.

“Please please dont do this, you cant do this because then your killing another baby, i-isnt that a sin!” I panicked as i tried to stop her from killing me or my baby.

John took his chance and grabbed the ghost and threw it to the ground as sam started reading something to get rid of her.

“Dean get y/n and go outside! Now dean!” John yelled at his eldest son as dean helped me off the ground. As i struggled to run dean lifted me up and carried me bridal style.

“No! She cant live! They cant live theyre murderers!” The demon shouted before i heard a deafening scream as we got out the house and dean sat me on the hood of the car and sat next to me.

“Your pregnant?” He asked.

“I found out yesterday, im a few weeks,ive been looking into getting an abortion i-i know we cant have one now”tears leaked out of my eyes as i spoke to him while looking in front of me.

He stood up and stood in front of me and held my face up so we were looking at each other.

“I dont want you to think i dont want a baby with you after what happened when we were younger, we were kids y/n, i want this baby but i will never hold it against you if you dont want it”he said looking at me in the eyes.

“I want your baby dean, do you really think we can do this?” I asked him as he wiped away a tear from me with his thumb.

“Are you kidding me? Us two we have already overcome and done so much baby whos to say we can have a baby and do this parent stuff”he smiled down at me.

[fallen-angel-writing]

Whiskey Lullabies, Familiar Strangers and Forgotten Goodbyes.

Summary: Imagine you were just waiting out a storm in your bar, your safe haven when a group of familiar strangers come in and immediately start to turn your little world upside down.

Chapter Warnings: Threats of violence, drinking. Sort of off canon.

Pairings: Supernatural X Reader; Dean Winchester x Reader; Sam Winchester x Reader; Platonic!Jack Cline x Reader; Gabriel x Reader/

A/N: I do not own the GIF. Credit to the owner. The types of relationships with Sam, Dean and Gabriel have not been identified in this part, they will be later on. As will who the reader is. Not Beta Read. Written on Grammarly. All mistakes are my own. Enjoy!

Word Count: 1,193

supernatural-masterlist ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~

Outside the windows, there was a storm raging that rivalled all others. The thunder was so loud you couldn't even hear it. It just shook the bar from the floor to ceiling. Nobody'd been by in over five hours since a while before the storm set in.

By the time you'd realized it was too late to walk home and you didn't have a car to drive. So, you just turned on the radio and grabbed a bottle of liquor from the top shelf and decided to wait it out.

You were sitting on the ground, back leaning against the bar, nursing that same bottle and singing along to a song on the radio.

"She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette.

She broke his heart.

He spent his whole life tryin' to forget.

We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time

But never could he get drunk enough to get her off his mind

Until the night

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger

And finally drank away her memory

life is short but, this time it was bigger

Than the strength, he had to get up off his knees

We found him with his face down in the pillow

With a note that says I'll love her till I die

And when we buried him beneath the willow

The Angels sang a whiskey lullaby."

You hadn't heard the car pull up, and when the front windows brightened, you just thought it was the lightning. No one was dumb enough to be driving out in a storm like this.

The front doors slammed against the wall a few seconds later, and you glanced up at the mirror hanging above you and saw a pair of guys standing there, looking like a couple of drowned rats. Something about them was familiar. You couldn't place it as you stood up and sat the bottle on the counter.

"Hate to break it to you boys, but bars closed due to the storm. Or did you not notice what you were driving through?" You asked, picking up a rag off the wooden counter, pretending to be busy wiping it down.

Neither said a word as they just stared at you like they were looking at a ghost. "Is there something I can do for you?" You asked when neither continued staring.

You rolled your eyes at the continued silence and grabbed a pair of beers from the fridge. You sat them on the counter, popping the caps off before sliding them towards them. The taller one walked over and took a seat. Sam had long hair that stopped just before his shoulders. "Thank you." He smiled and took a sip of the drink, still watching you.

You nodded and grabbed your bottle of crown royal and poured it into a glass. "So what are you doing here?" You asked as the other one joined him. This close, you could tell they were related. They looked too much alike. "Family roadtrip?" You added.

The one with long hair nodded. "Yeah, something like that. I'm Sam and this is my brother-" His brother cut him off. "You don't recognise us, not even a little bit?" He almost looked hurt when you shook your head no.

Even if there was something about them, you'd never seen them before. You knew as much. You'd spent your whole life in that little no-name town. You would've remembered meeting either of them.

You were about to ask why when the front door flew open again and a kid walked in. Kid may not have been the best word. He looked about 16 maybe, and there was that feeling again like you knew him. He seemed to think he knew you too because when he looked around the bar, his eyes lit up when he saw you. "Y/-" He started to say, but the brother whose name you still didn't know interrupted him. "Jack, I thought I told you to wait in the car."

"You did, but Dean, you guys were in here forever and Jody called. She got a lead, but it looks like we don't need it anymore." The kid- Jack said, looking towards you.

So now they all had names, but they were starting to make you feel rather uncomfortable. You dumped your drink down the drain and walked down towards the far end of the bar, where you kept a shotgun.

Jack and Dean continued with whatever argument they were having, and it seemed at least from what you heard was one they were used to having because Sam seemed content to just sit back and watch them.

Your hands had just wrapped around the pistol grip and forestock when Sam turned his attention to you. He seemed to know what you were planning, as he tried to steer the conversation back to a more normal setting. "Sorry, about them." He said, smiling. "So you know are names, but we don't know yours. Mind if I ask what it is?"

You kept your grip on the gun firm but left it sitting on the shelf as you answered. "My name is, Y/N. Y/N L/N." He nodded, again, still smiling. He acted as if he already knew your name before you said it. The kid- Jack. He had. You hadn't forgotten that, unlike just about everything else in your life.

"We don't have time for this, she's going to die if we don't get her to remember!" Jack shouted and both you and Sam looked towards him.

Before Dean or Sam could explain you lifted the shotgun and pointed it at the three. They were close enough together you'd hit them all if you fired. "Alright, I've had just about enough of this. Now somebody tell me, what the hell is going on! Who is going to die?"

Sam and Dean looked at each other, and then back at you. Dean spoke up first. "You." At the same time, Sam mumbled something under his breath and a breeze blew through your hair.

You spun around and found yourself stuck between the bar and a fourth man who had simply appeared out of thin air. "Where the hell did you come from?"

"I used to be the man of your dreams."

"Gabriel, we don't have time for this." Dean ground out, from behind you.

You were about to say something else when Gabriel held up a finger and snapped.

In an instant, the world went black.

[kagesdumpsterfire]

Not that anybody asked, but:

Anyone who is confused as to why they kept living together a "secret", consider this:

They both have bad experiences with doxxing. Especially Jensen. Crazies have sent rusty nails to his place for christ's sake!

The above reason is also why I, personally, tend give Jensen a pass sometimes when it comes to shippers. Shippers (namely J*2 tinhats) have stalked him, his wife and kids, his where abouts, tracked plane routes, made threats towards him his family and costars, cornered him and JP at charity events to give them (and their freaking mayor) J*2/ w🤮ncest fan art, claimed his wife is a beard (and Misha a meard to her beard for JP?) and his children are test tube babies, cornered him at cons, among a plethora of other nasty things. His experience with shippers isn't exactly the best. There are tons of positive happy little shippers, but the bad always tends to outweigh the good. Which brings me to my next point:

They know people ship them. They know. Misha has openly talked about the ship onstage as well as other cast members. They aren't entirely immune to goings on in The fandom. Out right saying it would fuel the fires and they know it. So it's eaiser for them to keep it hush hush so they don't have to deal with the uproar.

Now consider this, say there is something going on:

Image is important to actors. While being out and proud isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's still not as widely accepted in Hollywood as some would like to think. It's perfectly fine, but then you have to consider type casting. While that would be less of a problem for Misha, who's acting career is a means to an end, would it stunt Jensen's acting career as far as roles he could get.

Then there is the fact that they are both married. With kids. The mainstream media world view when it comes to poly relationships isn't exactly kind. Rumors would undoubtedly fly about affairs and such. "What about the children?!" Articles would be popping up left and right. Pop culture media thrives off of rumors and most likely would paint the whole situation in a bad light. Also, detrimental to their careers. Not to mention, that would also cast a shadow on Danneel Vicky and the children.

All of this could put serious strain on, not only their relationship, but their friendship and their families as well.

Then there's the show and it's fans to consider:

We all saw last week how insane some of the fans can be. JP stans lost their freaking minds because they learned that Jensen doesn't inform him of every single minuscule detail of his life. They were ready to slander Jensen, destroy his project before it even grew legs, and some have already sent messages to Misha's publisher about what they believe makes him an awful human. Can you imagine the panic attack of learning that Dean and Castiel's actors are living together, but not Sam's? "What about Sam? What about Jared? They're trying to exclude him! Waaaa!" They already use to freak out when Dean and Cas would have scenes together without Sam. Jen and Mish living together? They would raise absolute hell.

Jensen and JP had to(apparently still have to) keep up the " Brothers in real life and on TV" act for the brand and the GA. If Jensen would have outright told everyone that he and Misha were living together, but not Jared....it wouldn't look great. People would wonder why. Are they fighting? Are they not really friends? Blah blah blah and so forth.

If they would have openly said it 2-3...however many years ago, it could have damged the show.

These are also, likely, the reasons the In The Know part of the fandom kept quiet. Because they knew too. They knew exactly what kind of chaos it would cause. So they kept it to themselves.

So yeah, it was easier to stretch the truth about the clothes sharing and the "brief stays" and all that mess, because the truth could have very well been disastrous. Now that the show is over, however, it doesn't matter. I'm sure we can expect tons of open secrets to be revealed, maybe even some that are not so open, but also keep in mind that Jensen is still trying to keep the SPN brand going, so there might not be any groundbreaking ones coming anytime soon.

Also,also, remember they are still human beings who deserve at least a modicum of privacy. Speculation and tinhatting is all fun and games as long as it stays in a fandom space. No one should ever be forced to out themselves or tell their secrets.

Thank you. You may now resume your regularly scheduled freak out.

[fictionalabyss]

I don’t want the damn crown.

Pairing : Alpha!King!John, Prince!Dean x OFC, Prince!Dean x Alpha!Reader, Prince!Sam.

Word count : 2,857

Written for : @spnabobingo

Beta’d by : @iflostreturntosteverogers

A/B/O Bingo Square :   True Mates

Warnings : Pack hierarchy (Alphas rules the pack, Omegas are servants), True Mate Trope : anything on your skin appears on your mate's,  Arranged marriage, pissed Dean, Abusive relationship, talk of violence and killing, threats of violence and killing. Winchester brothers get a little turned on by the show of power and possessiveness.

SPN A/B/O Bingo 2021 Masterlist.

Masterlist • Patreon • Ko-fi.

“Just give it to Sammy.” Dean was practically begging now. “I don’t want the damn crown, and he does.”

“Want it or not, it’ll be yours.” his father snapped, and Dean could practically feel the icy glare coming from his younger brother behind him. Not directed at him, but at John who wouldn’t even consider Sam as the future king. “And if you try to run away from this marriage, Dean, I will send your brother to hunt you down.”

Dean looked back towards his brother who continued to watch the two of them argue. It wasn’t the first time they argued about this, and sure as hell wouldn’t be the last. “What about my mate?” Dean turned back to his father. “You know I want-”

“If you find her, make her your mistress. I don’t give a shit, Dean. She’ll be here next week, and you’re marrying the damn girl and making her a queen, and I don’t want to hear another word out of you about it.” Dean growled, but John shot up from his chair and growled louder. “Don’t test me, son.” John threatened. Dean turned and stormed out, grumbling under his breath. “Keep an eye on him.” John commanded his youngest. “If he runs, stop him.”

“Yes, your majesty.” The tone and the bow were mocking and John let out another growl as he dropped back into his seat and rubbed at his temples as Sam left the room.

“She’s ugly.” Dean whispered to his brother next to him.

“She certainly has no shame.” Sam muttered back, watching as Dean’s new bride-to-be strutted around the room as if she owned the place, the dress cut low and revealing.

“Inside and out, she’s ugly.” Dean winced, not caring that she looked over at him and saw the way he looked at her. “I hate the way she talks to people. I hate everything about her, I’m repulsed by her.”

“Careful, big brother.” Sam warned, eyes on the woman across the room as her smile faltered. “I think she can hear you.”

“Good. Maybe then she’ll break off the engagement.”

Sam laughed at that. “You underestimate how bad she wants to be queen.”

“I’ll find her breaking point, even if I have to fuck every servant we have in our marital bed right in front of her.”

Sam laughed again, his smile widening. “You don’t have it in you.”

“You underestimate how bad I want to get out of this.” Dean grabbed for a drink from a servant who had been moving past, and downed it. When he lowered the glass, she was standing in front of him, her eyes cold. Almost as cold as Sam’s got.

“M’lady.” Sam didn’t give the slightest of bows as he said it, and the way her eyes snapped to him for a split second before going back to Dean showed she took offense but had something else on her mind she needed to deal with first.

“Walk with me.”

“I’m speaking with my brother-” Dean began to argue.

“Walk with me.” It was a command, and she started away not giving him a chance to argue.

“Better get moving.” Sam gave him a nudge. “Or you’ll find out if the rumors are true about that temper.”

“Pretty sure I'm finding out either way. If I’m not back in an hour, mount a rescue.” Sam laughed at that as Dean began to follow his bride to be outside.

Dean was quiet at breakfast the next morning. Barely even glanced up at his brother as he sat and quietly ate with his bride-to-be at his side. She spoke in a bright and lively tone with his father, her plans for when she was queen. John loved her enthusiasm, Dean knew it for what it truly was. A mask she wore to lure you in and gain power over you.

His cheek no longer stung, but the shame of the night before was still burning fresh in his mind. She had slapped him for daring to speak of her like that in a room full of people.  Screaming about what the servants would be saying, what it would do to the kingdom if people thought he hated her. He'd laughed and said they knew he wanted nothing to do with this, that he never hid it, and it had earned him another slap.

"The rumors are true then."

Dean glanced up and found his brother watching him. The conversation next to him stopped and Dean quickly looked down. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"The last time you were this quiet after a night with a woman, she had taken offence to something and disappeared with your best horse."

"You told me a thief had-"

"She was a thief, she stole my horse, didn't she?" he snapped at his father, but it was Sam he was glaring at.

"Are you missing another horse, brother?"

"My horses are fine." Dean's tone let it be known the conversation was over. He didn't need the greedy little princess next to him to make a fuss, his father was already wrapped around her finger and it was no secret Dean was looking for any excuse to get out of the marriage. It's the only reason Dean was being quiet about what happened the night before. He didn't think his father would believe him. "Got one that needs putting out, though." Dean mumbled half to himself, but Sam heard and smirked

"Maybe the horse just needs to be broken." Her voice made Dean freeze for a split second, before he resumed eating. "A firm hand and a hard ride can get any stud under control."

"Of course, m'lady." Sam spoke, eyes still on his quiet brother. She knew damn well Dean had been talking about her, and now she was talking about him. "Perhaps you are right."

Dean remembers the morning he woke to a mark on his skin. He’d had dreams of battle, fighting with swords and claws, and when he woke up, there was a cut along his cheek, just barely missing his left eye. He couldn’t help but touch it as he tried to figure out where it had come from, and hissed at the pain.

The battle had been nothing more than a dream. He hadn’t fought anyone, or shifted. There was no reason for his skin to bear a mark. Not unless that crazy bitch he was set to marry had come in while he slept, but surely if it was her, it would have woken him up. Right?

The guard outside his room confirmed no one had entered in the night. What the hell?

Every few days after that, he found himself with a new mark. Cuts, bruises, scars that lingered far too long for his liking. People began to notice, to worry. The servants were talking and the more they did, the more upset his wife-to-be became. They all said it was her in their whispers.

And the more upset she became, the more marks were added to his collection. A few from her, and others appeared in the following days.

Once, he was standing with his brother watching warriors train when he winced in pain as if struck in the shoulder. Sam turned to him, giving him a confused look before his eyes went wide. “Brother, you’re bleeding!” When he looked to where the pain was, he saw blood starting to spread along the material that covered his new wound. They were several yards away from any weapons, no one but them stood off to that side. “What the hell is happening to you?”

“I wish I knew.” Dean mumbled, poking the bloodied spot and wincing again. He didn’t even look back to his brother before he turned and started away. When he stumbled on his feet, Sam rushed to his side, getting Dean’s arm over his shoulders.

“I’ve got you.”

“Thanks, Sammy..”

The day had come, the day Dean had dreaded most. The day he was supposed to marry her. He stood in front of his father, eyes down on the floor, not even bothering to look back as his bride came up the aisle. John growled, and Dean shot him a glare before huffing and turning. She looked stunning in her dress, but it stirred nothing in him. To him, she was as hideous on the outside as she was in.

“Too bad that last mystery injury didn’t kill you last night.” Sam whispered into his ear.

“I thought she was going to finish me off after hearing the maid talking about it.” Dean answered just as quietly, hand coming up to rub at his neck that, thankfully, was hidden by his collar.

“I’ll make sure the maid gets out just as mysteriously as you keep getting injured.” Sam promised before straightening back up again as Dean’s bride approached. Dean just nodded his answer.

She had a smile on her face, but her eyes dared him to try objecting, to say anything and he’d regret it. He didn’t doubt she could make him. He turned from her, to face his father, but before anything could be said, the door his bride had just come through burst open once again. “Sire!”

“Who dares!?” She screeched, turning on her heel and that angry glare was on someone else for once.

“I’m sorry, your majesty,” the warrior bowed.

“What is it?” John stood from his throne. “It better be important-”

Before he could finish, the warrior straightened up. “It’s an army, you’re majesty.” John’s eyes went wide, and Dean looked to his brother. “They’re marching fast.”

“Where are they?”

“They’re already inside our borders. They’re headed right here, right to the castle.”

“BUT IT’S MY WEDDING DAY! WHO THE HELL DARES TO ATTACK ON MY WEDDING DAY!?”

“Get our forces ready!” John started issuing commands and he made his way down the three steps that his throne sat at the top of.

“Not everything revolves around you, Princess.” Dean spat, leaving her behind as he and his brother followed his father.

“Where do you think you're going!?” she screamed at them.

“To defend my pack and kingdom.” he called without even looking back.

His wedding clothes were gone, and he stood between his brother and father ahead of his army, waiting for the enemy to break through the trees. Something made his stomach shift, the animal side of him was on edge. Something was coming, something big.

“You don’t just leave me standing in the aisle, future king or not!” her voice grated as she ran through the men towards him. “I will not be humiliated this way! They aren’t even here yet! We had time!” she spat, stopping in front of them.

“My people are more important than you.” venom dripped from his voice. He was tired of her. And with a literal army of witnesses, she wouldn’t touch him. He could worry about later when it came.

“I am their queen and luna!”

“No, you aren’t, not yet.” Rage burned in her eyes at his words and he felt a satisfaction he hadn’t felt in a long time.

“They’re here! Everyone ready!” John called out, and everyone behind them followed the orders, preparing themselves for battle.

Dean looked out to the trees, and watched as they started to emerge. He froze when he saw the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen in his life. Something in him screamed at him to go, run to her. She was his, and he was hers. “No.” he whispered, stunned.

Her mouth opened and a thundering roar emerged as her eyes locked on him. He could see the  scar under her eye, matching that first cut he’d received weeks ago. The red handprint on her throat that he knew matched his. Was she….

“Who dared hurt my mate!?” You raised two swords, one in each hand, as you moved closer to the army with no fear. No one else who followed you slowed in the slightest as they all poured out of the woods. Hundreds, some with weapons, some already in wolf form.

“Who are you! What do you want here?” John demanded, using his alpha tone.

“I am the Alpha of the Deadmane pack.” You spoke louder than him, throwing every bit of authority into your tone to show him you wouldn’t submit to him.

“Don’t lie to me!” John stepped forward and almost foamed at the mouth. “I am the King! I know every Alpha of every pack and you are not-”

“I RIPPED HIS THROAT OUT WITH MY BARE HANDS!” you screamed at him, and Dean’s eyes went wide as he watched you continue closer. “I was just some kitchen omega to him.” you spat out the words as if they tasted vile to say. “I felt my mate get harmed, I felt someone hurt them, and I asked him to leave. He refused. He said the only place he’d allow me to go was to his bed. So I went with him, and then I killed him. His Beta gave me this before he died, too.” You pointed to the scar under your eye.

“I think we figured out where your injuries came from.. The mate bond..” Sam mused. “It’s rare, but it’s been written that there are bonds so strong that any mark on one’s skin appears on the other’s..”

“I would have heard of such a thing happening!” John was furious.

“Not if I took over. Not if I killed anyone who tried to spread the news. Not if I killed every single person in every single pack who dared to get in my way. Not if I raised an army around me, one that grew bigger with every pack I went to in my search. Now I want to know, WHO HURT MY MATE!?” You pointed a sword at Dean, and everyone turned to look at him.

“He’s MINE!” the loud shrill voice grabbed your attention instantly as a woman stomped her foot into the dirt. “I’M the one he’s marrying, ME! I will get my father to-”

“You.” The single word was said in the most threatening growl, and Dean felt his cock twitch at the sound. Nothing had ever made him feel the way that possessive and threatening growl had. “You hurt him.��

“WE’RE MARRIED!” she yelled at you, grabbing Dean’s arm and pulling him closer to her, a touch in front of her so she could duck behind him if needed. As if she truly thought he’d protect her. “I don’t care who you are, HE’S MINE!”

You threw the swords to the ground, nails growing longer into sharpened claws and the sick smile on your face showed your teeth elongated right along with them. “I will rip you apart for touching what is mine.” you threatened and started running for her.

She yelped, trying to duck behind Dean, but when he pulled away, she rushed for John. “ENOUGH!” he bellowed, and you stopped just inches in front of him.

“You will die too.” you promised him as you glared defiantly up at him. “For letting her harm him. Now MOVE, because you are no king of mine.”

John’s eyes shifted to his son, and Dean did the only thing he could think to do, he shifted the collar so his father could see the last of the bruises from earlier that had not fully healed yet.

“She hurt him, and I will kill anyone who stops me from protecting my mate. Even a king.” You were glaring at his chest, as if you could see right through him to her on the other side.

John turned his back on you and faced the woman who cowered behind him. “Did you strike my son?”

“No! I would never-”

“DID YOU STRIKE HIM!” she cowered at his tone, bowing her head in submission and whimpering.

“I-I was just-”

“I can not save you.” John moved away from her, leaving nothing between the two of you. “You have committed treason against the crown.” He spoke as he walked away, making his way back through his army and towards his castle. He stopped and looked at the soldier closest to him. “If she lives through what comes next, throw her in the dungeons. Samuel, with me. Her father won’t be pleased. He came to celebrate a wedding and he may leave for a funeral.”

“Yes, father.”

The army you had gathered now all stood behind you, waiting for orders while you glared daggers at the woman. “Run.” She yelped again, and began to run through John's men, who all moved out of her way. “Anyone who gets in my way, cut them down!”

“YES ALPHA!” your entire army answered in unison.

“She’s mine.” you growled, and Dean watched as you started after her with laser focus.

“Got to say, I’m jealous.” Sam licked his lips. “That’s a hell of a mate.”

“Yeah..” Dean breathed out.

“SAMUEL!”

“Coming.” Sam clapped Dean on the back before walking away.

“That’s a hell of a mate.” he repeated his brother's words, “And she’d make a hell of a queen.” he smiled.

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[prince-of-elsinore]

It's so crazy to me how a CW show sort-of-barely managed to skirt around the edges of such a subversively unconventional relationship. Make it the focus of a fifteen-year series and yet always maintain just enough plausible deniability. Like, the casual viewer just sees two intensely loyal brothers who stick together to stop apocalypses and fight monsters, because they need each other's help to do the job. The general audience is meant to admire Sam and Dean's brotherly devotion and not examine it too closely. Because as soon as you pick and poke at it, you realize just how insane it really is. Their whole lives have revolved around each other, from the start, at the expense of just about every friend they ever made, and even family. They can't--choose not to--maintain romantic relationships while the other is around. They settle down in an underground bunker together. But the GA can tune in to the middle of Sam and Dean's "tangled up crazy thing" and just see two dudes hunting ghosts, bros being bros.

And then there's the finale! Apocalypses are over and these guys are still living in their bunker, apparently in their form of domestic bliss. I mean they have a dog together, you guys. The brothers adopted a dog. Together. And they take a trip to a pie festival, just 'cause. That's the sort of thing they do together. With each other. They have grocery shopped together, vacationed together, lived together, for years. And they seem perfectly happy to stay on that course, no mention of getting out or getting married or, y'know, anything remotely normal. This is their lives. As soon as there's no threat on the horizon that they have to team up to fight off, it throws the weirdness of their relationship into relief. And well, the show can't have that. Can't show, too directly, that these two brothers are queerplatonic life partners. One, queerplatonic relationships in general are not well-understood by the general public, and two, they're brothers! So even if the relationship is platonic, the fact that they are so clearly life partners is weird.

So, if you kill one of them off, it solves the problem, right? Nope. Because there's an afterlife in this universe. And sure, one of the brothers did get out, settle down, maybe got married, and had a kid--but only because he had to, without his brother around. Does the GA think about that? Idk man, idk. Then there's the real kicker: the heaven reunion. The GA thinks aw, that's nice. Good, they're together. They're happy. But wait--what about Sam's blurry wife? At this point, you have to believe one of two things. Either blurry wife gets to heaven and Sam's like 'oh sweet my wife's here, well I will see you around Dean' and peaces out while Dean, who got to heaven and was like 'not perfect without my brother' is left partnerless in the afterlife, just driving around in Baby on his own and occasionally stopping by to visit Sam and his wife--you know, normal brother stuff. But anyone who's been watching the show would be kidding themselves if they believe that's the case. The other option, the one true to Sam and Dean's characterizations for fifteen years, is that they are spending eternity together. Maybe Sam visits his blurry wife, maybe he doesn't. Either way, it forces you to realize that blurry wife, whether really a wife or just a co-parent... wasn't all that important to Sam. Not saying he couldn't love her, but the only way it makes sense is if their relationship was not afterlife-partners material. In fact, it wouldn't be fair to her if she saw Sam as the love of her life, her soulmate. I hope blurry wife has someone else (I hc her as a widow when she met Sam) or is a very independent spirit, because she's not living (after-living?) with Sam in heaven.

The show just leaves the brothers together on the bridge, but the implications are pretty staggering when you think about it. Does the GA think about it? Because the idea of two brothers' souls spending eternity together in heaven is definitely unconventional and yeah, even subversive. So much so that the show seems to shy away from its own suggestions. It literally can't linger on them too long or the GA would think it's weird. BECAUSE IT IS WEIRD.

[deans-haunted-baby]

Okay I see there are those who are confused as to why most of us are pissed about 15x19 I will gladly explain in depth:

Let’s start off with our boys Adam Milligan & Michael. These characters have not been seen for 10 fucking years. During that time there were Adam stans like myself campaigning like mad to have him and the infamous archangel return for some much needed closure. We had to content ourselves with headcanons, fanfictions and metas based on what we briefly knew of Adam and Michael as people while they unfairly sat in Hell. You might have seen the “Adam’s Still in Hell” memes that circulated. WE WAITED OVER A DECADE FOR THIS. And finally SPN answers our prayers and returns these boys back into the story for the final season. None of us anticipated what their arc and dynamic would look like. Before we could only imagine who these two characters were/are after having been trapped in a cage so long; what their personalities would be like and if they’d be antagonistic to TFW. 15x08 was a surprise because not only were Adam and Michael likable right out of the gate but the writing for them and their dynamic was damn near flawless! And Jake fucking stole the show he killed it as these two. It’s a crime they were not featured in more episodes because the chemistry between these characters is amazing and they’re played by the same dude.

We were given so much background into both Adam and Michael’s psyches in just a short period of time. Their motivations, interests and how they viewed those that wronged them (like the Winchesters); how Hell affected/changed them both and how they viewed their families. We got to see them banter, cooperate with one another and most importantly their different personalities. With Jake Abel appearing in only a handful of SPN episodes, he still fleshed out Michael and Adam beautifully; giving them layers and complexities that most side-characters (who’ve appeared more times than they have) didn’t. The way Jake played Adam’s anger and resentment towards his brothers was brilliant because it’s more under the surface compared to his angsty teenage self in 5x18. He’d become somewhat restrained, laid-back, gentler and wiser which works because Adam displays traits similar to Sam and Dean. He’s kinder and has a sense of humor but none of that distracts from rational thought as he’s quick to analyze and dissect situations. Man, he would’ve made a great hunter/Men of Letters recruit. We know right off the bat Adam’s pissed at his brothers for abandoning him in a thousand-year-prison-sentence and didn’t lift a finger BUT that ironically doesn’t compromise his willingness to help them unlike his past self in 5x18. Jake gets the point across with this character without saying much and that’s what made him so compelling to watch in this episode.

Now Michael was even more of a mystery onion since he wasn’t onscreen as much as Adam had been in past episodes so Jake got to really build on top of this character. Going from the uptight, cold-blooded merciless celestial warrior/dutiful son of God we saw in 5x22 to someone whom despite his arrogance and regal princely demeanor was very human, intelligent, fair, mindful and compassionate. He trusted Adam and respected his opinions even if he didn’t agree 100%. Whereas most angels take over the vessel completely from their original occupant; Michael chooses to share his vessel with Adam as a mutual agreement which says a lot about who he is. He’s fascinated with humanity and wanted to explore it instead of returning to his throne in the clouds. We know that Michael was created specifically to be Humanity’s protector and guardian of Heaven and Earth so these quirks he’d demonstrated in 15x08 aren’t too far off. He holds a lot of pain inside from his abandonment issues with his father whom he loves to a fault and grief over the death of his brothers. On the surface there’s very much an abused child syndrome thing going on with him though he masks it with a domineering presence. And above all this we saw that he was capable of forgiveness. Whether or not Michael always had these traits inside to begin with, its very evident that his friendship with Adam influenced the person he became post-Hell. And that was someone who, like Castiel, chose to rebel for the sake of free will by aligning himself with the Winchesters after witnessing the evil his father had committed. He actually cared about saving the world. This is what we call character development.

What does 15x19 do? It shits all over that. We don’t get to see Adam and Michael’s dynamic at all; and this was perhaps one of (if not the first) most healthy portrayal of a relationship between an angel and its original vessel occupant in the history of Supernatural. Adam is just killed off-screen Thanos style without so much as one last word and Michael barely reacts like he gives a crap. It was just established to us in 15x08 that he’d developed an emotional bond with Adam through years of inhabiting the same body. He protected Adam while they were trapped together in Hell. They were each other’s only friend and source of comfort. They’d developed a certain co-dependency on each other while respecting one another’s space. They’d both made peace with their joint situation. All they had was each other and the writing in 15x19 basically tells us their relationship meant absolutely NOTHING to Michael based on his OOC actions in this episode. He shows up much darker and shadier now that Adam is gone and its like all those years of friendship, things like that independence, newfound strength and humility he’d gained from living with a human for so long are erased. Michael just reverts back to Chuck’s 5x22 bitchboy persona in the most ridiculous 180 shift I’ve ever seen in my whole damn life. And all because his little brother called him mean names. Pitiful. Just when he lectures Lucifer about standing up for what’s right; he betrays his own words, his allies and the rest of humanity in T-minus 2 minutes. That is total character assassination. Nothing about this motivation makes any sense.

There’s no build up to it, no foreshadowing in 15x08 or throughout 15x19 until they get to the lake. He’s completely deconstructed as a character in this episode and rendered weak. It’s like 15x08 never happened. Stripped of all his development for lousy shock value. Instead utilizing all of what he’d learned through Adam and sticking it to Lucifer by proving he could be more than what Chuck tried to mold him into; Michael becomes just another NPC in the story forfeiting the hero he was. And his reasons for siding with Chuck are never specified. Was it about about saving Adam? Was it about proving something to Lucifer (whom he’d already killed in anti-climatic fashion)? Was it all an act that he was in on with the Winchesters; cause there’s absolutely NO FUCKING WAY they could’ve predicted he’d flip on them like that for their magical plan to work. Not after everything Chuck’s done, killing Adam and Jack and leaving Michael to rot in Hell for eternity. And why would he suddenly go along with destroying the Earth when defeating Chuck would probably get Adam back (if that was his goal) which IT DID not to mention its his sworn duty to freaking protect humanity, hello? So his betrayal meant jack shit in the end as it got him killed by his fucking dad!! He’s brought back into the show only to be ruined forever and killed off in the stupidest fashion.

Moving on.

Jack Kline & Castiel. This iron-clad relationship has been in development for 4 in 1/2 years since before Jack was even born. And next to Adam & Michael its the other most healthy relationship on the show. Castiel, a million year old celestial being, spent the first 9 years of his arc on Supernatural following around the Winchesters, being torn between his loyalty to them and to Heaven. He rebelled when he was supposed to be a straight-by-the-book warrior of God. And he defied every rule in the process even when the odds were stacked against him. There was an endless rinse and repeat cycle of love, loss, betrayal and redemption when it came to his relationship with Sam and Dean. It made his character complex, interesting and layered but it still didn’t give him an arc that was his own. Castiel started out moreso being written as just the Winchester’s angel BFF/side-kick. Until Lucifer got Kelly Kline pregnant in 12x08 then things really took off. Before this, Castiel was a lost soul. His faith was broken, he was depressed, lonely, battered and rundown from years of being conflicted over the other angels and Sam & Dean. He felt he’d lost a sense of self and meaning in his life. And didn’t have a mission. Once he turned on Heaven’s orders, Castiel was a rebel angel without a cause so to speak. But like I said this changes the moment he meets Kelly.

Originally Castiel was suppose to kill Kelly in 12x19 because she was carrying the child of the devil and Nephilim are considered forbidden abominations. Told that if Lucifer’s kid was born he could unleash even more evil into the world. But instead of doing what he thought he should, Castiel decides to runaway with her. Choosing to protect her from all threats (Lucifer, demons, other angels, princes of Hell); this especially included the Winchesters. During this short time-frame the angel develops a strong, emotional bond with Kelly and her unborn son that stretches all the way to the S12 finale; to the point where it actually gave him a power-boost. From the womb, Jack appoints Castiel to be his father and protector and he’s given a glimpse into the child’s destiny that he’ll bring paradise to the world. A prophecy that the writers establish head on. This is an unusual circumstance because right here is where Castiel’s solo arc apart from the Sam & Dean takes shape. The journey of becoming a first time parent and guardian. Its a new kind of independence that for the first time has nothing to do with his friends or his family members/colleagues in the sky. Its his own personal mission that he willingly accepts, the second he connects with Jack from inside Kelly. Castiel immediately falls in love with him, before they even see each other; and adopts the boy devoting himself to keeping him safe. Making a promise to Kelly that would later become a vital plot-point in the seasons to come.  

Castiel literally risks everything (Heaven and Earth) to ensure Jack’s birth and ends up dead by 12x23′s startling conclusion. Leaving the newborn infant Nephilim alone in the care of the Winchesters going into season 13; scared, confused and aged into a seemingly 18 year old boy for his own protection. And Alexander Calvert who is a fantastic addition to the cast really brings something wonderful to this role; he’s like a breath of fresh air and a bright light in the middle of a dark room. Jack’s naïve, innocent and curious about his surroundings but also as Castiel once put it “remarkably intuitive”. Right when he’s introduced his arc is intentionally paralleled with Castiel’s. Their alien-fish-out-of-water beginning is practically identical as is their adorable stoic facial expressions. Like father like son. And this helps because while the angel is currently dead in the beginning of season 13, there’s an empty void he’s left behind. So Jack is kind of his temporary stand-in. Odd enough this type of switcharoo would’ve been considered very controversial but it’s handled quite well. Alex is so likable and charming I almost wish Supernatural had introduced him sooner. I mean I really thought I was looking at Castiel’s actual mini-me and not the son of Satan. But I digress Jack’s story in the first half of this season is pretty much about discovery and reuniting with Castiel. He’s a baby so everything is new to him but he’s also one of the most powerful beings in the universe destined for greatness which makes the Winchesters very nervous.

Jack remembers choosing Castiel as his dad which is why he already feels strongly connected to him. Its a bond so powerful that it actually resurrects Castiel out of the Empty the first time. Something Chuck himself was unable to do (that was until the mess that is 15x19). When they’re finally reunited the payoff comes so naturally. Misha and Alex have such a phenomenal onscreen chemistry starting with that first hug; they really play off one another so well that it doesn’t feel like two angels interacting but a genuine father and son duo. So much of what makes Jack and Castiel’s relationship so relatable, deep and endearing is because of what the actors bring to it. But they’re not just a fascinating relationship, they’re compelling on their own too. Both trying to find their way in the world and within the Winchesters’ lives. Death is no stranger to either of them (tragic being that Jack is only a toddler). They’ve each experienced their own personal pain, traumas, life lessons, mistakes and decisions. The biggest for Castiel would be his deal with the Empty to save Jack in 14x08. While for Jack it was the consequences of said deal that would lose his soul causing him to accidently kill Sam and Dean’s mom in 14x18 as a result (something that Jack struggles with immensely to the brink of depression from so much guilt and regret that he’d rather die). Repercussions that would follow into the shows final season. What’s interesting about this deal though is that Castiel made it on parental instinct alone not as a promise to Kelly. He chose to sacrifice himself for the sake of his son as a selfless act of love and kept it a secret from Sam & Dean until his death in 15x18. That’s the extent how much this child meant to him. The other great thing about their family dynamic is that it parallels nicely with the Winchesters. Castiel and Jack share this unconditional love that can never be broken. its even greater than their ties to the Winchesters themselves just as Sam & Dean’s love for each other is greater than any of their other relationships. They would do anything for each other. Castiel would go to the ends of the earth for the little nougat baby because that’s his son.  

Each time these characters were faced with danger or died, Castiel and Jack were overcome with extreme devastation and distress. That said its not just pain that binds these two its happiness. Jack is the best thing that ever happened to Castiel. Literally becoming a father to that child saved him. It brought him back to life, restored his faith and gave him a sense of self-worth and hope he’d long since abandoned. And for Jack, Castiel is the best dad he’ll ever have! He gave this baby comfort, wisdom, nurturing, strength. Was always there when he needed him whether it was to talk or to have his back. No other person in Jack’s life has ever made such an important impact nor made him feel more safe and loved than Castiel. Even when Jack had done such a horrible thing to Mary alienating himself from his family; it was Castiel’s unyielding devotion to Jack that ended up being his salvation. This was huge because once again he’d chosen over the Winchesters proving that no matter what (whether it be the world ending) his son comes first. So when Castiel’s pact with the Empty finally comes due in 15x18 you’d think it’d have an earth-shattering affect on Jack in 15x19. I mean for the first bit it does...until he becomes God. Then its like to hell with that relationship. Castiel is a complete afterthought to Jack and the rest of TFW in this episode. JACK DOESN’T EVEN GET TO GRIEVE HIM PROPERLY. And he just lost his dad because of a deal he’d made a year ago for him. A DEAL JACK HAS BEEN FUCKING DREADING WHILE HE WAS SOULLESS MIND YOU. And when he finally has the power to bring him back, he doesn’t? Jack just walks around with a conceited smirk on his face, bids Sam and Dean adieu and fucks off. I mean who gives a shit right, its only your dad that you love more than anything. This was extremely OOC given that time in 14x14 Jack nearly lost his shit when Castiel got infected with gorgon poison; the anti-venom wasn’t working so Jack resorts to using his powers putting his soul at risk.

I mean if he was so limited to helping Castiel in the Empty AT LEAST FREAKING CLARIFIY THIS TO THE AUDIENCE. This is not about shipping a certain pairing btw. Jack becoming God is not the issue its his characterization after the fact. His first instinct would’ve been to save his dad above getting in touch with the Earth. Yes we knew this transformation was coming it was foreshowed way back in Season 12. Does that justify bad writing or character assassination?? HELL NO.

This is what I’m talking about, episode 15x19 deliberately butchers these characters and their relationships. It shat all over them. No one is behaving like themselves. The pacing is wonky and inconstant. The script feels like it underwent several rewrites and I swear there were scenes cut out. The acting is off too and maybe the pandemic could be blamed for these things but it ultimately falls on the writer. Buckleming screwed up by showing us they don’t know who the hell these characters are, their motivations nor do they give a rat’s ass. And its noticeable on screen. I’ve known better fanfiction writers for SPN than these guys. It’s like they all came back to work but just didn’t care to put the effort into it. That’s why people like me are upset and we have every freaking right to be. Some of us have been with this series for the entire 15 year run. I at least expect these characters to be handled better and for things to make sense. 15x19 doesn’t and its not satisfying its just a cruel joke. The writers and Dabb should be embarrassed to have put this out there thinking we’d just swallow it and shut up. But far as I’m concerned the only thing this episode serves is to disrespect and ruin everybody while angering long-time fans.

MICHAEL. ADAM MILLIGAN. JACK KLINE AND CASTIEL DESERVED BETTER. And that’s the tea.

[waywardrose13]

Night and Day

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 4263

Warnings: Language, witch!reader, mentions and implicaitons of sex, angst, some fluff, not enough editing to satisfy me

Summary: You hid the fact that you were a witch from the Winchester brothers for years. After a run in with an old mentor of yours causes your secret to be revealed, the brothers find out that not only are you a witch, but one of the most powerful in the world. When Dean is given the task to kill you in exchange for his brother’s life, you must face the fact you lied to the man you loved- the same man who hates witches with a burning passion.

A/N: My tags haven’t been working lately. I’m going to put my tags in a reblog. Comment or shoot me an ask letting me know if you got a notification or not. Oh, and also- surprise!

“Dean, I’m serious. We gotta get up.”

You gently nudged at your boyfriend. A smile played on your lips as you felt his arms tighten around you. He whined and let out a long sigh.

“Five more minutes.”

“You said that twenty mintues ago,” you scoffed, smirking down at him. He groaned and lifted his head to look at you.

“You’re a joy killer,” he said. 

“A joy killer?” You asked. You raised a brow as your smirk grew. “Really?”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Dean said.

“Right. Okay big boy, up and attem, let’s go. We’ve got that case in Ozark.”

Dean groaned again. “We just got back from a case two days ago.”

“Comes with the job description, honey,” you said. You swung your legs out of bed, placing your feet onto the floor. As you stood up, Dean suddenly wrapped his arms around you again, pulling you back down onto the bed. You squealed as he squeezed your sides, his lips latching onto your throat.

“Wanna stay here with you,” Dean said. He raised his head to kiss your lips. You ran your hand through his hair, his fingers running up your side, raising to cup your breast beneath your shirt.

“Dean, we don’t have time for this,” you said. He peppered kisses along your throat and collarbone, settling on the pulse point below your ear. “As much as I love doing this, we really need to get up.”

Dean halted his movements and lifted his head to scowl at you. He pushed himself up and off you, walking over to the dresser.

“Alright, fine,” he huffed. “Joy killer.”

***

“Of course, it has to be fucking witches.”

You winced at his words. You had been in Ozark for nearly a day now. After interviewing two of the victims who survived the attacks, you had also spoken to the detectives on the case before investigating the victims’ homes. The victims claimed to have been attacked by a shadow figure. The other three victims had been slaughtered in their homes, while the two survivors suffered severe lacerations and what seemed to be burns. You and the brothers were stumped for a while, until you found a hex bag hidden in a vase in one of the homes, and another hex bag stuffed in a couch cushion in the other.

You always hated witch cases. Not only were they dangerous, but they were also conflicting. You were a natural born witch, coming from a long line of witches on your mother’s side of the family. You had the gift of sight, also known as psychic abilities, and you had practiced witchcraft since you were thirteen.

When you had met Dean Winchester, it had been on a ghoul hunt. In those three days, you instantly felt an attraction to him that you couldn’t describe. You never thought he would be interested in you. You saw the women he’d frequent, and you weren’t like them. You were in shape, hunting keeping you fit, however you had some stretch marks, love handles, and thicker thighs than you would’ve liked. You also weren’t the prettiest woman in your opinion. You weren’t ugly, but you were always self conscious of the way you looked. You were sarcastic, cursed like a sailor, and reserved. You had always kept a wall around yourself ever since you were younger, sprouting at early ages due to things you had experienced and seen. You were twenty-four, a virgin, and a bit awkward at times.

Not at all Dean Winchester’s type.

But after meeting up with the Winchesters a few more times, you and Dean slowly became closer, until one night after a hunt, Dean had confessed his feelings for you. He was hesitant at first due to the ten year age difference, but your relationship had quickly blossomed. He was your first real relationship, the first person to ever be with you entirely, the first person to ever hold your heart.

Which is why you never told him about yourself.

Dean hated witches. It was a fact everyone knew. If you were to tell him that you were, in fact, a witch, he’d not only break up with you, but you were afraid he’d hunt you. Although you had never used your abilities for anything other than good, you weren’t entirely sure Dean would be able to trust you after you kept it from him for so long.

You were one of the most powerful witches in the world. Numerous covens have tried to recruit you, but you turned them all down. You were nomadic by nature, a free spirit, and you didn’t want to use your abilities to do someone else’s bidding. So you stuck to yourself. You kept off the radar and hoped your protective hex bags shield sigil tattoos worked. When Dean asked about the tattoos, you had simply told him they were more sigils for protection- like the anti possession tattoo. He believed you without a second thought.

“Okay, so now that we know what we’re dealing with,” Sam began. “We need to find out who. After doing some digging, I found that all of the victims attended the same addiction recovery group.”

“So you think the group is somehow linked to the murders?” Dean asked.

“It makes sense,” you said. “They all had this one thing in common. That’s what we always look for, right?”

“Right. There are only three people left in the group who have not been attacked. Since it’s a support group, anonymity is a requirement. But luckily for us, we have fake badges,” Sam said. “Marcus Wainwright, Brienne Tarly, and Astrid Waters are the only people who haven’t been attacked.”

You froze at Astrid’s name. You knew that name. She was the leader of a coven who tried to recruit you years ago. You turned them down because of the craft which they practiced.

“Who’s the leader of the group?” You asked.

“Uh…” Sam looked at the files. “Astrid.”

“I think it’s her,” you said. The brothers looked at you in question. You mentallykicked yourself. You said it before you could think. “She’s the leader, right?” You tried to cover yourself. “What if she used this group as a way to make sacrifices to whatever that shadow is?”

“That actually makes a lot of sense,” Sam said. “Carla, one of the victims I talked to today, said that Astrid would always try to get the group attendants to recruit more people. Apparently Astrid was always trying to bring more people into the group. Almost like she was obsessed with it.”

“She was trying to get more people to sacrifice,” Dean said.

“Exactly,” you said.

“Okay, let’s find this bitch.”

***

Astrid still lived in the same cottage as she did all those years ago when she tried to recruit you. Cobblestone walls covered in climbing ivy. Black shutters hung off the gothic windows. Various leafy plants grew around the sides of the house. The broken path led to a great wood door. The negative energy rolling off the house made you nauseous, and it took everything in you not to pass out.

You were only sixteen when you met Astrid, only just beginning to truly tap into your true potential when other witches began to feel your energy.

“You’re strong,” she had told you. “Stronger than me. You would be a valuable asset to any coven. A threat to witches below your strength. Others will want to harvest that power for themselves. We can keep you safe. I can keep you safe.”

You could feel her energy was dark. Her aura was an ominous black, a stark contrast from your pure white. You knew she was lying immediately. You threatened her. You were stronger than Astrid, and that pissed her off.

“I can fend for myself, thanks,” you had said.

Astrid had simply smirked at you, patting your hand gently. “We’ll see about that, my dear.”

You never thought you’d run across her again. You had hoped that you wouldn’t run into her again. Not only was she incredibly dangerous to you, but there was a high chance she would spill your secret, and you would not only lose Dean forever, but you would lose your life.

Swallowing back your fear, you trudged through the woods alongside the brothers. You knew you needed to do this. Innocent people were dying. If this was your last night on Earth, you wanted to be able to save them at least.

The three of you ducked below one of the windows. Dean peeked inside, trying his best to stay as hidden as possible.

“She’s in there,” he whispered. “She’s… at an altar. She’s chanting something.”

“Guess we found our witch,” Sam muttered. “Nice, Y/N.”

You gave him a weak smile.

Dean got up in front of the door, gun in hand. You and Sam waited for his call.

“Okay, on three,” he said.

“One… two…”

“Three!”

A new voice echoed around you, the door of the cottage violently swinging open, a gust of wind knocking Dean off his feet. Astrid’s cackle filled the air, and suddenly you began to feel woozy. Dean’s eyes fluttered shut, Sam falling down next to you. You knew it was Astrid, and you tried to fight it off, but soon succumbed to her power as well, your world going dark.

***

“How exciting!”

Head pounding, you awoke to the sound of a female’s voice. Trying to move, you soon found yourself unable to. Your eyelids felt heavy, and your limbs felt numb.

Opening your eyes, you found yourself staring up at the ceiling of the cottage. Astrid’s silver head was bent over you, bright emerald eyes staring into yours, a crooked, elated smile on her face.

“My oh my, I never thought the day would come,” she muttered to herself. A long nailed finger stroked your cheek, and you flinched away.

“Don’t touch her, you bitch!” You turned your head at the sound of Dean’s voice. You smiled weakly immediately at the sight of him, finding yourself incredibly tired.

You felt drained.

You tried to move your hands, finding them strapped to the table you were currently laid out on. Your flannel had been removed, as were your jeans, leaving you in only a tank top and panties. You shivered in the cool air. You hated being exposed like this in front of anyone that wasn’t Dean.

“What are you doing?” You asked weakly. “Let me go.”

Astrid laughed. “Please. You fall right into my hands and you think I’m going to let you go?” She asked. “You’re smarter than that, little fox.”

 “Why are you doing this?” Sam asked. “Why did you kill all those people? Why did you sacrifice them?”

Astrid looked surprised. “Oh my, you’re a smart one, aren’t you?” She smiled at Sam, holding a mortar and pestle up over you. She crushed something inside, muttering a few incantations.

“The shadow makes me stronger. The more it's fed, the stronger I become,” Astrid said smoothly. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m a strong witch. Stronger than your average natural born, much stronger. However, there are only two people in the world who are stronger than me.”

Astrid gave you a pointed look. 

“The shadow makes me stronger, as I said, but without the power of the other two witches, I will never be the strongest. If I were to siphon their energies from their souls, I would be the strongest witch there ever was and will ever be.”

“Pretty egotistical, eh there, granny?” Dean said. Astrid sneered at him.

“You’ll be the first one to die once I’m done with her, honey,” Astrid said.

“That is if I don’t kill you first, sweetheart.”

“If you only knew what I would be capable of,” Astrid snapped. “One witch has kept herself hidden. The Scottish bitch never can be found.”

“Rowena,” Sam said. 

“Oh, you know her?” Astrid said. “Yes, Rowena. Now, the other witch. Well, I met her years ago. She was just a wee lass of sixteen at the time, but she was already so strong. I knew she was going to be a problem for me. I tried to recruit her to my coven, but she was smart. Too smart. I’ve been trying to track her down for years, and I’ve never been able to find her.”

Astrid let out a dreamy sigh. “And then, by the grace of God, she fell right into my hands.”

“If you’ve already killed her, why take the souls of innocents?” Dean asked.

Astrid scoffed. “Oh no, dear. I haven’t killed her yet.”

“Well what’s the hold up? One less witch to worry about. You’ll stop killing innocent people.”

Astrid laughed. She looked down at you. “No idea how you’ve been with the man as long as you did. If I heard that, I’d run for the hills. Or stab him in his sleep.”

“Don’t touch him,” you hissed. Astrid grinned.

“There’s that fire,” she said. She smeared the green paste she made over your chest. You let out a small cry as it burned your skin. She painted a pentacle on you, muttering more incantations.

“Unfortunately, to siphon all of a witch's power, the siphoner cannot kill the siphonee,” Astrid said. “Someone else has to do it after I prepare her, then I could siphon it.”

“Well let’s make you a deal,” Dean said. Your lip wobbled. “If I kill the bitch, letting you siphon her power, you will never kill another person.”

Astrid smiled wickedly. “Really?”

“Sure. One less witch and we save some people.”

Astrid laughed. “Oh that’s too good. I’ll make a blood vow. If I break it, I die.”

“Fine.” Dean nodded at her.

“Give me your word, hunter,” Astrid said.

“I give you my word.”

“That no matter what, you follow through,” Astrid continued.

Dean sighed. “Yeah, fine.”

“Dean,” you said softly. A tear leaked from your eye. “Please.”

He looked at you curiously. Astrid cut his bindings, letting him free.

“He’s not the brightest bulb, is he?” She asked you, laughing.

“Where do I find her?” Dean asked.

Astrid handed Dean a knife. It had a curled handle, various sigils carved into it. She stepped back, folding her arms over her chest. 

“Go ahead.”

“You deaf?” Dean asked. “Where do I find the bitch?”

Astrid smirked, running her tongue over her lips.

“Right in front of you.”

The blood drained from Dean’s face. Tears streamed from your eyes now, leaking down your temples onto the wood beneath you. Astrid killing you was one thing. Dean killing you? There was nothing worse you could think of.

“Y/N?” He said. “No fucking way. She’s not a witch.”

“Isn’t she?” Astrid asked. “Go on, Y/N. Show us a little trick.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, wishing this was all a dream. Wishing that you would wake up and you’d be back at the bunker in Dean’s arms.

But when you opened your eyes, Dean still stood there, that curved knife in his hand, Astrid’s evil grin plastered on her face, a shocked Sam watching from his confinement on the wall.

“Fuck you,” you hissed.

“If you don’t show him-” she walked over to Sam, hand on his head- “I blow his brain apart.”

You took in a shaky breath, eyes focusing on the windows. Suddenly, your eyes glowed purple, and the windows shattered. The glass floated up into the air, spinning around and around, wind whipping everyone’s hair. It only lasted a few moments, and when the glass stopped spinning, a heart floated six feet off the ground. It slowly moved towards Dean, and once it reached him, you blinked, eyes going back to their normal E/C, the heart falling to the ground, glass shattering once more, mimicking your own heart.

Dean looked up at you in shock.

“You did that?”

“It’s her best party trick,” Astrid said. “Y/N here is an artist. Unless, of course, she’s blowing a werewolf to pieces with a simple flick of her wrist, or growing a thirty foot tree with the blink of an eye.”

“No,” Dean said lowly. “You lied to me.”

“I was afraid,” you said. “You hate witches. I thought you were going to kill me.”

“You fucking kept this giant ass secret from me!” He yelled. “You lied to me for years! All that time we’ve been together, you’ve been fucking

“Dean, please-”

“How do I know anything you said was true?”

“It all is! You know everything about me, Dean! I just never told you this!” You urged. “Please, Dean. You know me. You know I’m a good person.”

“I don’t know shit,” he hissed. “Have you ever killed anyone?”

“What?” You asked.

“Have you ever killed someone?” He snapped.

“No! I’ve never-”

“Eh, eh, eh,” Astrid said. “Don’t lie to the poor man anymore, Y/N.”

You let out a sob. “It was an accident.”

“An accident?” Astrid exclaimed. “Bursting a man into flames was an accident? Killing a father of four was an accident?”

“Yes!” You said. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know how to control myself, I-”

A sharp pain suddenly seared inside your head. You gasped, eyes squeezing shut.

“What are you doing?” Dean asked. Astrid grinned.

“Punishing her,” she answered calmly. You screamed as the pain became so intense, white flashed behind your eyes and your whole body went rigid.

“Stop!” Dean yelled.

The pain was gone instantly. You panted, chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath, sweat mixing with your tears.

“Slit her wrists, Dean,” Astrid whispered. “You swore.”

Dean took the few steps he needed to be right next to you. He looked at the knife, then at your wrist, then at your face.

“Won’t she just heal herself?” He asked.

“Those cuffs around her wrists contain sigils that will prevent any self healing or harm to another person,” Astrid said. “It limits her power. It’s why she hasn’t broken out yet.”

Dean swallowed thickly. He looked at you, eyes searing deeply into your own. An anger burned behind the green you loved so much. It scared you. That anger had never been directed towards you before. 

But there was something else as well. Despair. Dean was torn. You were a witch, a powerful one, and you had lied about it for years. On the other hand, Dean was in love with you. He loved you so much, it scared him.

“Do it,” Astrid said. “Do it, or I kill him.”

She was bent down beside Sam now, lips near his ear, eyes burning purple. Dean looked between you and his brother. You knew he’d never choose you over Sam.

“Do it,” you whispered. You nodded at him, giving him a soft smile. “It’s alright.”

“How can you say that?” Dean asked. 

“I’ll find my way back to you someday,” you told him. “If not, I’ll simply wait for you.”

Dean bit his lip. “I wish you had told me.”

“I thought you were going to kill me,” you admitted. He shook his head, leaning against the table. He cupped your cheek, thumb wiping away a stray tear.

“Baby, you’re a good person,” he said. “Sure, I hate witches.”

You winced.

“But I could never hate you.”

You blinked a few times. “Even though I’m-”

He pressed his lips softly to yours. His eyes were misty, brows pulled together. 

“I could never hate you,” he whispered against your lips.

“Do it, Dean!” Astrid urged. “You’ve got ten seconds.”

“Dean, don’t do it,” Sam said. 

“It’s okay,” you whispered. “I’ll wait for you, my love.”

Dean shook his head.

“Five seconds,” Astrid warned.

“I love you, Dean. It’s okay,” you whispered. 

Dean looked down at the knife in his hands. He caressed your wrist, bringing the knife down against your skin.

“Three seconds!”

He gave you one last look, moving the knife back-

“Two-”

He jerked the knife-

“One!”

You expected the sting of the blade, but only felt the release of the cuff. 

“Man, you should have had some sort of spell on that shit,” Dean said. He smiled darkly at you, giving you a wink. Using your other hand, you flashed your eyes purple, burning the other cuff off.

“No!” Astrid yelled. “What have you done?”

With a simple flick of your wrist, Astrid was flung away from Sam. She crashed into the opposite wall. You slipped off the table, bare feet hitting the cold floor. A wind blew through the cottage, blowing your hair back from your face. You stalked towards her, all the while a smirk grew on your lips, your fingers tingling.

“I haven’t let myself go in so long,” you said. You lifted your hands, seeing the purple glow in your palms and beneath your fingertips. You cocked your head. “All this pent up energy…”

“Y/N-”

“It’s almost like snapping a rubber band,” you muttered.

“Y/N,” Dean said slowly. 

Using a blast of power, you forced Astrid’s arms against the wall. Keeping them there, you raised her up until her feet dangled off the floor. You did the same to her ankles, the strain causing her skin to bruise immediately.

“Y/N, wait-”

You forced her head back, a sickening crunch resonating inside the cottage.

“So much power… can be dangerous,” Astrid gasped. Blood dribbled from her mouth and nose, pouring out of her eyes like tears. You forced more pressure upon her, crushing her further. “I was your mentor once… don’t let it consume you… keep your soul pure…”

You crushed her further, your brow raising slightly. You smiled wickedly at Astrid, a dark chuckle leaving your lips. “Rich coming from you,” you said.

“I let it consume me,” Astrid told you. “Don’t… follow in my footsteps.”

You hadn’t used your power like this in years, not since Astrid was your mentor. It sizzled in your veins and made you feel more rushed than ever. It was almost euphoric, the way your body burned with power, power that came from the Earth beneath your feet. 

You missed that feeling.

What you didn’t miss, however, was the creeping feeling of darkness. It would intrude your thoughts and darken your mind. The risk of using that much power was the potential that it could consume you, and you would flip darkside.

Like Astrid did.

“See you in hell.”

Using once last surge of power, Astrid let out a guttural scream as her whole body turned an odd shade of red, eyes nearly popping from their sockets, blood streaming from any open source, before she stopped moving.

Letting your power retract, she slumped to the floor.

Dead.

You blinked, letting your eyes return to their natural colour, turning to face Dean.

“You gonna kill me now?” You asked.

Dean swallowed thickly, giving you a small smile.

“No.”

“Why not?” You said. “I’m a monster, right? You hate witches. I am witch. Pretty self explanatory.”

“I’m not going to kill you,” Dean said.

“You can’t pick and choose the monsters you kill and don’t kill,” you said. “You came here to kill a witch. I killed her, now it’s your turn.”

“I’m not going to kill you,” Dean repeated.

You gritted your teeth, sighing deeply. “Fine.”

You walked over to Sam, looking over your shoulder at Dean. With a simple flick of your wrist, Sam was released from his bindings.

“Do it, Sam.”

“Why?” He asked.

“I haven’t let myself go like that in a long time,” you said. “I forgot how tempting it is to give in. I want to do it, Dean. You need to kill me before I do.”

“No,” he said.

“Do it!” You yelled. “Do you really want me to flip? You want me to become like her?” You pointed to the woman you had just killed.

“You won’t,” Dean said. “You’re not like her.”

“Yes,” you whispered. A single tear slipped down your cheek. “I am. I killed that man when I was sixteen because I almost let it win. Who knows what else I could have done if I did.”

“Then we lock you up in the dungeon,” Dean said. “And we bring you back. But you’re good, Y/N. I know you better than anyone.”

Your lip wobbled. 

“You still love me?” You murmured. “Even after finding out?”

Dean smiled warmly at you. He took your hands in his, massaging the backs of yours. “Sure, I was pissed you didn’t tell me. Still am, quite frankly. But you’re my girl,” he said. “I know you. I know the kind of person you are.”

“You hate witches,” you pointed out.

“Eh, maybe they’re not so bad,” Dean said, giving you a lopsided shrug. “I mean, I know this one witch. She’s pretty hot, really good in bed-”

“Dean!” You exclaimed, slapping his chest playfully. He laughed, kissing your forehead, bringing you into his chest.

“What can I say? What you did was pretty badass. Not my fault I’m into that.”

You shook your head. “Okay, big boy. If you’re not gonna kill me, let’s go home.”

Dean took a deep breath, leaning down to pick you up bridal style. You gasped, wrapping your arms around his neck to steady yourself.

“Come on, Sabrina,” he said. You gave him a bitch face, making Sam laugh.

“Really?” You asked.

“Oh, I’ve got more,” he said. “Do you have a pointy hat? Or a broomstick? Were you always this color, or were you born green?”

“Yeah, this is gonna be a long ride home,” Sam muttered.

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[emily-the-fae]

Every Day is a Lullaby

A oneshot. This honestly came to my mind yesterday night, I do not know how well the idea turned out to be.

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Arthur Ketch x OC

Warnings:probably language, blood, injury, background character death, brief mentions of sex, angst mith mix of fluff

Rated: T

Mr Ketch has many sides, likable and repulsing - but which one of his faces is truly his is sometimes an uncertainty even for him.

Harper reflects on the changes on their relationship as they get out of a hunt gone wrong. While Ketch reconsiders some of his past choices... And reasons why he is still alive.

If he's a serial killer

Then what's the worst

That can happen to a girl

Who's already hurt

I'm already hurt

The first time Harper met him was a coincidence. It was long before the whole nephilim thing, long before she found out what kind of man he was, what kind of hunter he was. Yet even back then in the span of their first couple of meetings  she felt he was no good.

A stupid hunting coincidence.

Harper was not used to hunting alone. She did that to herself - separated herself from the Winchesters. However much she loved Sam and Dean, she could not bear continuously being around them, not after everything that happened. Not after Charlie. Because no matter what Dean said or how Sam reassured her - it was her fault. Charlie was a great friend. Charlie had the brightest soul. Harper was late to help her and now Charlie was no more. It was all Harper's fault.

Driving away and going head first into hunting was the outmost Winchester way of dealing with the guilt and grief. Hunting alone while slowly coming out of her lowest phase - those were the circumstances under which Harper met Arthur Ketch.

The first time it happened it was a coincidence - two hunters choosing the same target is not uncommon. Harper was already on spot and all in the fight when he arrived. "Are you insane going into a whole vampire nest alone?" - those were the first words she ever heard from him. She might have been slightly insane, but he sure was a damn psycho. To be honest if not for him she would have probably ended up dead or turned in that vampire nest that night. Harper hates being honest about it.

The second coincidence happened just a few days after the first one - she would later on doubt if it was a coincidence at all. Perhaps it was. Harper would never really know - what she did know though was that he still had a small scar left above his left eyebrow - a mark of where she hit him with the grip of her gun, thinking it was the witch that was creeping up to her and absolutely not expecting to hear a male voice swearing after her blow. Arthur had not known her for 24 hours in sum and they were already making a scene after a hunt - Harper almost pitied she had not knocked him out straight away.

What happened on the next day? He caught her in the town and suggested to team up to avoid "future confusions". Rule number one how to become friends with Arthur Ketch: hit him in the face. Harper wasn't going to become friends with him - with any hunters for that matter - but fate seldom cared what Harper was going to do anyways.

Harper definitely lied to herself when she said that they were going to be only friends or that she was going to hate him after all the British Men of Letters invasion story. She didn't. Not with the way they met in the first place: him ripping her out of the claws of the angry remnants of the vampire pack - slightly concerned greyish blue eyes and a British accent was what greeted her at dawn that day, even though mid in fight she had accepted she would not see the sun again. It seemed symbolic how he saved her from giving up, from herself. And certainly not after the way their relationship went from mutual curiosity to blind semi-professional trust. Harper did not need a "friend" to console her: if she had wanted that she would have stayed around Sam - she needed someone unfeeling but understanding enough to see through her and consciously let it be.

She remembered it clearly - three hunts into their relationship - a month after their first encounter - they were sharing a hotel room. Two beds, late night after a hunt, she lied on her side and quietly cried. It was a demon hunt. The memories were too much. Arthur came into view and stared at her for a couple of moments before walking to his own bed.

- I'd say you can talk about it when you want to, but I doubt you will ever feel the necessity, - a brief caress of his hand against her shoulder. He did not try to relieve her, he allowed her to get to her own way of coping. For that Harper was grateful more than ever. - We all have skeletons in our closets, it's the downturn of the job.

Oh, dear Arthur, we are both now  aware you knew far too well what you were talking about. Harper doubted any hunter had a closet cemetery as large as Ketch's.

Yet... Even after that - the awkward reuniting with the Winchesters, being pulled away from him as she came back to her old friends and witnessing, luckily from a safe distance, how the man she grew to trust without actually knowing him, uncovered darker and darker sides of his personality. What was worst - after she refused to join the BMoL, he would continue to sometimes keep her hunting company, going on like nothing happened. Like nothing changed. Why worst? It let the image of the heartless killer that she should have seen before her now connect and combine with the image of the man who would patch her up on her darkest nights and put a firm hand on her shoulder when Harper was too deep in memory to restrain herself. His presence around her became a reassurance in itself - because he did not have to know to understand. And because he simply had not been there - looking into his eyes Harper wouldn't get reminded of the times when everything was still right, wouldn't get reminded of that one time everything went very wrong. Probably those were the main qualities that helped him win a spot in her heart. Those and his unending casual flirting.

And now? After everything was over, after his very dark side was revealed, the confessions were made and the redemption was played, what did she think of him? The hunter, turned out just a very well trained assassin - he had served the British Men of Letters, he had served Asmodeus - now here he was separated from any commanding he ever had, living a hunting life of his own and sometimes collaborating with the Winchesters. Therewere many dark moments forgotten for the sake of peace. Many more had yet to come up - judging by how Ketch treated his own history and interests of others.

" - I wonder where Mick went, he was always so nice... Nicer than you, anyways. Pity he went away all of a sudden, - Harper mentioned once after a hunt.

- He did not go anywhere. I shot him in the head just like Hess ordered, - Ketch seemed calm and cold as steel. " Sometimes Harper thought that leaving BMoL would change him, but moments like that she realized how slowly the changes - if any - would have to occur. That night she simply walked away, not saying another word.

If anyone ever asked Harper how Arthur's spot in her heart had shifted after all the mess he had caused? She would say that he never even had one... And think that truth to be told there was no flame hot enough to burn him out of her chest - his name carved on her ribs would have been easier to get rid of than the bittersweet affection she harboured for the moral wreck of a man named Arthur Ketch.

If he's as bad as they say

Then I guess I'm cursed

Looking into his eyes

I think he's already hurt

He's already hurt

Despite that Harper never dared pursue a relationship. Why? She was very sure with people like Ketch the only right strategy was not to expect them to be capable of attachment. The flirting, the sweet promising looks he would give her after a well-accomplished hunt... Harper would dream of believing them to be genuine. She was very well aware thinking him in any way genuine was a risk she was not ready to take. She knew Ketch would not mind letting that affair happen - he made that quite clear. She also knew it would mean absolutely nothing to him apart from some company and a warm body in his bed. Arthur Ketch was cold, unemotional and taught himself well not to get attached to anyone - and even if that was not true, he tried his damn best to make it seem so.

Harper sometimes hoped she saw it in his eyes: a silent "please keep safe" when they would part after a hunt, a sparking "I missed you" when they would meet once again. Arthur sometimes hoped she would see it too - very deep in his soul, deeper than he would ever be able to admit even to himself.

In other words, the outcome of the new hunt would have presented itself sooner or later anyways. They were actually quite lucky to have it present itself the way it did.

The werewolf did not seem such a hard target - away from bigger packs, alone terrorizing the neighborhood - just because he could. Problem and solution crystal clear - a hunt where one clearly sees the root of evil is a blessing for a hunter that's used to all the versions of heartbreaking stories. What Harper did not so clearly see was the gun in their opponent's hands. To be more precise: she did see it, but a little too late.

Two gunshots rang at the same time: her silver bullet hitting right into the monster's heart and his normal one - ... Ketch fell against the wall, sliding down to the floor: his left shoulder bled, the bulletproof vest, even though being pierced in the thinner area, had preserved him from being too deeply injured - but not kept completely safe from wounding.

Several seconds of silence - making sure the werewolf is not a threat anymore - realisation and fear finally hitting Harper.

- Ketch?... Ketch?!... Arthur! - the hunter was too disoriented to answer and his silence was taken as a bad sign. - Oh Lord, Arthur, no! - gone are the self-restraint and professional coldness: the moment she sees blood on his chest, she rushes to his side, forgetting about everything else in the world. She needs to make sure he will be fine. He has to be. - Arthur, please, don't die on me! Arthur! - she calls for his attention, the hunter slowly regaining his senses.

For a moment there he believes he hears Tony. This reminds him of some of his unlucky hunts from the years before, though back then he had certainly had it worse. Besides this definitely was not Tony.

Tony would have said "Ketch's down" and carry on with the hunt, eyes on the target, and when the deed was done she would pass him with a short "How is it?" - more out of politeness than genuine caring. That was exactly what she did the only two times he had been seriously injured infront of her.

- Ketch, answer me right this instant, don't you dare fading out! - panic in her voice, genuine. The idea of someone caring as much as to panic at the thought of his death seems too good to be true - for him at least. Arthur feels hands investigating his chest, checking for the wound: cold thin fingers running over his blood-covered skin. Not Tony - Harper.

- I'll live, darling, it's nothing too serious, - attempting to sound confident, but his voice is rasp. It's nothing serious, but it hurt nonetheless: the blow on the shoulder was much harder than anticipated and the bleeding needed to be stopped.

Harper looks into the light blue, borderline grey eyes - he is staring up at her, his gaze unguarded only for a moment that lets her see the uncommon softness and hope in his expression - just for a moment - she believes the things she guessed about him were true, she believes the pain visible in his eyes is true, only by accident revealed to her. The state lasts only a couple of moments - but even that is more than enough for his visible emotions to imprint into her mind.

Arthur Ketch was able to feel. Arthur Ketch could be in pain. Arthur Ketch was capable of needing help.

I said "Don't be a jerk, don't call me a taxi"

Sitting in your sweatshirt, crying in the backseat ooh-ooh

I just wanna dance with you

Hollywood and Vine, Black Rabbit in the alley

I just wanna hold you tight down the avenue ooh

I just wanna dance with you

It was a wonder that the hotel clerk did not stop them on their way - Ketch looked positively dying - Harper was quite sure there was no legal thing that could have happened to him that would have explained this appearance. This was the reason normal hunters chose motels: less suspicion. Harper briefly wondered where he got the money to maintain his former lifestyle, since he was stripped of the BMoL funding, but she guessed there were other sources on his side and he was just too stubborn to change his ways.

When they stumbled into his hotel room, Arthur made a move to drop himself on the bed, but Harper grabbed him by the collar swiftly, dragging him away in the other direction.

- Ketch don't you dare stain the sheets, they'll report us, - she mumbled, pushing him to enter the bathroom and dropping him to sit on the edge of the tub.

He would have laughed if the sudden movement had not caused sharp pain to shoot through his damaged shoulder, making him wince. Alexandra. He had wondered for so long whom Harper reminded him of and out of all moments they shared it was this that made him realise. The memory reappeared in his mind so vividly now.

"Artie, no! Don't go to your room, you'll stain your carpet! Mum will kill us!" - and the older girl held him under his arms, guiding him to the kitchen.

He still remembered it: the years before school, before Kendricks, him and his sister mostly alone in the house with parents constantly away. Alexandra had brought him up before Kendricks had. Alexandra had a lovely voice, she would read him bedtime stories, she would sing to him, she was kind and caring - probably the only human being in his life that ever seemed to care. When he went to Kendricks was the last time he had ever seen her... Well, alive. Alexandra was kind and caring - and that was probably the reason why she had not made it through the training. In fact her death might have been the only reason why he survived and made it to the top - having no one care about you has a benefit: you don't have to care about anyone too.

After his sister's funeral life had never felt the same and Arthur had been quite certain before that it was for the better. Now, watching Harper rush about, trying to find the medical kit to help him, he thought that he had been terribly wrong all the damn time.

How long has she known him? A couple of years, not more, but the relationship between them reached beyond the borders of friendship or companionship. That little american hunter - the first time he saw her he thought she was suicidal, the second one - bold and full of sass. The following months proved her well capable of combining both while turning out to be so much more, one of which being: to be able to love Arthur Ketch. Of course he knew she loved him - this was among those traits in her that he openly treated with polite contempt and deep down envied more than anything.

He watched Harper come to his side, sliding his hunting gear off his shoulders - her movements so gentle, her eyes filled with worry and guilt.

- I'm so sorry Arthur, I should have... - you're always sorry. You always think it is your fault and none else's. This was most probably the main reason why it was so easy for him to openly reject her feeling: they both knew she loved him, they both knew he saw it, he toyed with her so many times, being suggestive, flirting. "As long as I enjoy the physical aspects of having an affair, the emotional attachment that other people believe necessary to form is rather pathetic" - he told her once. He actually said that, those were his words. I would like to fuck you as long as you shut your disgustingly human little heart. She stared at him for a moment, her beautiful face almost successfully hiding the hurt - then turned away silently, shrugging her shoulders. He was being a jerk. Harper never stopped him from that, Harper seemed to take it all in and believe he was right, believe that her feeling for him was utterly pathetic. That it was her fault.

- It was no one's mistake, love, it was an unlucky accident. Besides it didn't turn out that awful, - he trailed off. She was cleaning his skin over the wound now, preparing to apply stitches. Arthur could sense a little shudder in her at the word "love". He was so used to saying it that he forgot about all the connotations it held. Lord, was he bad at this.

Harper continued her work silently. She felt him studying her face and prayed to be finished as quick as possible - she did not need another heartbreaking hope and she had already made the mistake of looking into his eyes that night. When the last stitch was done, she turned away to put the materials aside and sensed him straighten up behind her back - Harper felt he wanted to say something else, but she could not give him that opportunity. She almost thought he would die that night - seeing him on the floor made her blood run cold - she did not need any more pain to add to the aftermath of the shock.

- I'm going to my room, but please call me if you feel worse during the night, - she spoke, not turning to face him, ready to walk out of the bathroom. Harper felt his hand grab her wrist in a rushed movement and turned abruptly only to see him staring back at her with unguarded softness in his eyes. The only time she remembered Arthur look at her like that was when she twisted an ankle during the hunt all due to his mistake. It scared her a little to see that expression on him.

- Why won't you just stay to keep an eye on me? - his voice low, with an undertone she so often heard when he flirted with her.

- You're a big boy, Ketch, we both know that even stitching you up was superfluous, you can perfectly well tend to yourself, - a smile. Harper tried to brush it off jokingly, ready to make her leave, but his grasp on her wrist only grew stronger.

- Stay.  At least for this night. Please, - the smile disappeared from her face. He sounded wounded, he sounded like he really pleaded. Harper broke away from his grasp, taking a step back.

- You don't need a... - she shook her head.

- But I do, - he stood up, taking a step towards her, not letting her increase the distance between them. His fingers came up to caress her cheek gently. - Harper, stay, - she shut her eyes, standing still and quiet for a couple of seconds, seemingly fighting back emotions.

- You don't mean this, - she said, looking up at him sharply and confidently, but in a moment, failing to restrain herself, she continues more quietly and softly. - Why do you have to be so cruel to me? - he could see tears brimming in her eyes.

They stood frozen in front of each other, her face so close to his, her eyes watering - not because of this particular evening, but because of all those times before he had behaved in similar nature. It was the first time she had so directly addressed the issue of her feelings for him. "Why do you have to be so cruel to me?" She seemed to be waiting for an actual answer. Why was she always so kind to him? Like he was normal, like he didn't hurt her? Arthur leaned down, his hand still cupping her cheek, his lips touching hers gently and firmly.

Harper closed her eyes - not as a girl would do in a pretty romantic movie - she shut her eyes, pressing her eyelids together, holding her breath, shuddering. A single tear ran down her cheek.

When they parted, though his face still stayed just a few centimeters away from hers, Harper opened her eyes again, her breath shaking.

- Arthur...

His free hand circled her waist, pulling her closer to him, as his fingers slid away from her cheek,  moving behind her head, running through her hair. Arthur leaned close to her ear, his breath ghosting over her neck.

- Because I hate how you make me feel like I can still have a life, like not everything is lost. I hate how you make me feel worth being cared about and able to care. I hate how you make me feel, - he said that rushed and quiet. Pressing his front to the side of her head, breathing deeply.

- And what if you are lying? What if this all is for the sake of one night? I'm tired of guessing if you have a soul or not, Arthur, I'm too worn out, - she wispered after some time, leaning her forehead into his uninjured shoulder.

- Then trust me this one time. I promise. Please.

- Why?

- Because I need you. I need you to feel alive.

Arthur felt her let out a deep breath, her petite form pressing itself to his, her arms sliding behind his back to hold him close. She raised her head, freezing for a moment before their eyes met, then leaning up - their lips meeting now less gingerly than the first time.

- Does that mean you'll stay?

- You're such an asshole, Ketch...

- I know.

Harper hid her face in his chest, sobbing quietly, her form shacking, worn out both physically and emotionally. Arthur kissed her temple softly, caressing her back, for once feeling like he did everything right. For once feeling like they had a chance.

Happiness is a butterfly

Try to catch it like every night

It's escaping from me into moonlight

[superfluffysupernatural]

Heal Your Inner Child

AO3 Link

Author: Max

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: None

Relationships: Sam & Dean Winchester

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester (mentioned)

Additional Tags: Mentions of Trauma

Summary:

Sam, I know we haven’t talked in forever but I need to tell you something. I don’t think I have ever written a letter to you before and I think this will be the last time that I will. I don’t want to drag you into this mess anymore. I don’t want you to be a part of this. You don’t deserve to be a part of this and for that, I am sorry.

I never wanted to drag you into this. I don’t think it was ever fair for me to drag you into this. I know I was a bad brother for doing that and I hope that one day you can forgive me for that. But for now, I have to work on forgiving myself and that means that I have to leave.

So, I’m going on a hunting trip and I won’t come home.

Dean Winchester

Author's Note: Guess who is back from the dead!

“Heal your inner child, Mr. Winchester.” His therapist sat across from him with her legs crossed and a notepad in her lap. “You never had a normal one, to begin with, so why not do everything that you couldn’t do as a child now?”

“Because  I can’t go rollerblading without breaking a hip.”

“Well no, you might not be able to do everything that you wished you could as a child anymore but you can do a few things that might help you heal a little bit. It’s proven itself effective and as a part of your court-appointed therapy, I highly suggest that you try it.”

That highly was full of threats. Threats to send him to prison if he didn’t comply with her every command. A threat that she would tell his parole officer and send him back to a place where he would never get out. A threat to send him to a place worse than hell. It sounded like an exaggeration but with the number of charges he had against him and the amount of time he had spent on the run from those charges, he could have landed himself in federal prison if he wasn’t careful.

“So what do I do, doc? Color?”

“You can color if you want to. But I think you should make a list of things that you always wanted to do as a kid and do them. Bring back your list next week and we can make a plan for what you can do in the next few weeks and you can talk about what you felt the week after that. How does that sound?”

“Sounds good,” Dean checked the clock behind her head. Their hour had been up thirty minutes ago and yet she hadn’t said a word about it. Almost like she loved making money off of the state. “I’ll get right on that.”

“Hey, what did we say about sarcasm, Mr. Winchester?”

“That it’s not a useful coping mechanism for the aggravation I feel towards people and situations that I might not be able to control or have a say in.”

“See you next week, Mr. Winchester, and be ready with that list.”

His therapist ushered him out into the lobby where he walked past the receptionist who waved at him on his way out. His heartbeat in his chest was faster than he could have ever thought possible. Dean had taught himself to ignore that feeling long ago. The adrenaline pumping through his veins. Even just walking into a crowded supermarket set him off. They had been trying to work on it but nothing seemed to help. No amount of exposure therapy or medication would help. The only time he even left his apartment was to go to his parole officer or to see his therapist. Everything else seemed so hard to do. This was the only place he could calm himself down enough to get to. Maybe because he was forced to go there. He couldn’t risk going back to prison and his fear of prison outweighed his fear of going outside.

Luckily there was no one on his way out to the parking lot. He didn’t know what he would do if he were to find someone else coming out of therapy. It’s not like he was ashamed of going. Sam had told him that more and more men were admitting to having mental problems and going to get help for it. Though, it didn’t feel like that. He saw more women coming out of his therapist's office than men. But maybe men were better at hiding the fact that they were going in the first place.

Dean crossed the parking lot towards his car. A truck he had to get when Baby finally broke down and he could no longer afford to repair her. She sat in the front yard of Sam’s house and was being taken care of as best as Sam could with what he could get from others. Though if Dean were to get her back, it would just end up in Sam’s front yard once more. He couldn’t get a job until he finished his parole and therapy course which ended in a few years. Then his record would hopefully be cleared. At least, that was another part of the deal he took to avoid upsetting Sam even further.

The truck rattled to life and Dean pulled out into the emptied streets of the nice neighborhood that his therapist resided in. No way he could afford to live anywhere near here even without a record. It would take three lifetimes to be able to afford one of the houses he saw on his eBay to the outskirts of town. Fifteen minutes out from the city center and about thirty away from his own house. It was a lot of driving and the gas wasn’t cheap.

He received a small stipend from the government each week for groceries and the same for gas. His apartment was paid for by the government as well and was technically a halfway house but it hadn’t been well maintained for what looked like ten years so the landlord who oversaw the house paid him under the table to fix it instead of the contractors that his landlord was supposed to get. It was good money and allowed him to pay for some amenities of his own. That and the house was coming together nicely while he tried looking for an actual job that might sustain him once those stipends ran out in a month or two when he was supposed to have an actual job. Though, no one wanted a felon.

Heal your inner child. What a stupid concept. But he would at least have to attempt to get his assignment done. The consequences would be far-reaching if he didn’t do it. What did I even want to do as a child? The answer was quite easy. Please, dad. That wouldn’t make the list nor make his therapist happy. It would look like he was being snarky with her. That kind of list wouldn’t go over and mean jail for him again and he wouldn’t even think about going back there.

Maybe going online would help him with this. Things to do to heal your inner child. The steps seemed just as vague as his therapist. Eight steps it seemed.

Acknowledgment. He had already done that in therapy. Their father was a bad dad. He had abused them. At best it was neglect but at worst, he was dead and there was no way that he could go to his dad and get an apology from him. He had made sure that the bastard was in the ground. None of his aliases were alive and no one had seen him since he died. He had no one to apologize to and that was one of those things that his therapist had groaned about when Dean had first told her that he had died. There was no way he could acknowledge the pain his dad had caused if there was no one there to hear his words.

Listen. He couldn’t listen to someone with who he had nothing to do with. This was the one thing that he had never had. An older brother sitting under the pressure of his father. The ghost of his mother held onto him. The one part of him that he could never let go of. His mother. This was useless either. His mother was gone and he couldn’t even get to her if he tried.

Write a letter. A letter to Sam could work. He could apologize to him or someone else. That would be an interesting one. He would keep that in mind.

Mediate. He couldn’t silence his mind long enough to do that. It wouldn’t even make sense for him to do that. Even with the anxiety and insomnia medications, it wouldn’t work. It wouldn’t make sense for a lot of things to happen inside of his head and the silence is one of those. It wouldn’t take him long enough before the voices get inside his head again and he wouldn’t be able to take it.

Journal. And what? Look like a madman in front of his therapist? It would be a one-way ticket to the looney bin if you asked him and he wasn’t about to take a chance like that on anything other than attempting to get close to someone inside of a psych ward. So a no to that.

Revisit joy. What joy? The moments before he learned that everything he had been scared of up until that point was real and was out to get him?

Be open. He was already open enough with his therapist as it was and there was nothing that he could have done to be any more open with his trauma. No one else would want to hear about how everything that they feared was real and would make them feel like shit for not noticing long before he came around.

Reach out. He kind of already did that so that was good. Well, he didn’t do that himself. At least not in part. Took some slit wrists in open court to get him to where he was and it wasn’t something that he had mentioned before. Maybe that was his way of reaching out. By being the most dramatic person he could be and hoping for the best.

Write a letter.  That one seemed to stick out at him more than the others. The one thing that seemed to poke out as something that would even help.

Dean stood up from the couch and walked down the lit hallway towards his home office. The light in the hallway was on all the time. So much so that the hallway was at least a degree warmer than the rest of the apartment and the light bulb blew out at least once a month but that was the price to pay for being safe. Or at least feeling safer than what he would feel when he had it off.

At the end of the empty hall, there was a doorway. A doorway to his office. One he hadn’t touched in ages. His hand hovered over the cool metal of the doorway had installed. It was the first room that he had fixed up and that was the last time he had ever been in it. At least from what he could remember. If he even rook one step into the room could mean going back to a time when he wasn’t as strong as he used to. But he was much stronger now. So much stronger. At least, that’s what his therapist had said.

The door swung open in front of him as if he hadn’t opened it himself but instead, someone else did. Some other force that wasn’t even his but his hand was on the door and it was him alone that had opened it. No one else had done it. It definitely wasn’t a ghost that had done it. Ghosts aren’t real. He reminded himself.  It wasn’t true but he had to tell himself that so he wouldn’t go out and start hunting again.

The walls were covered in old newspaper reports. Too many people were out there who didn’t know what happened in the shadows. Too many people still don’t know what happened to those who did know what happened on these walls. Every case they had ever worked they were plastered on the walls like wallpaper. He vowed to take it down at some point. No one even cared about what he was doing back here. Well, one person cared and she wasn’t there to see it. She wouldn’t just walk into his house unannounced and she sure would have hell to pay if she did just do that.

Dean sat down in the chair in the middle of the room a desk right in front of him. Pages upon pages of newspapers littered the floor like a carpet. Dean kicked away a few, risking the paper cuts in hopes of getting a bit more comfortable. There were a few blank pages already sitting on the desk, waiting to be used once more. None of them had the usual scribbles on it. The scribblings of a madman once consumed by his work. A line of work he was forbidden to go back to.

Dear Dean Winchester,

Dean Winchester,

You Son of a Bitch,

Well, you know who it is, right?

Dear God, It’s Me, Dean Winchester

Are you there God? It’s me, Dean Winchester.

It’s been a long time since we talked. A really long time since we last spoke. I don’t know what happened that would have stopped me. I saw so many of your creatures here on earth. It only should have served as a promise of more to come. I said that I would never go back into the life that dad spent his whole life trying to get me into. I swear I wanted to be a part of it so bad…it was the only thing that I could have ever thought of doing for a job. This is the one thing I wished I could have never thought of for myself.

I…I don’t know why I’m working on this letter other than the fact that my therapist is gonna look at it. There isn’t much that I can tell you that you don’t already know. You’re god. You wrote my story. Hell, you probably know I’m writing this right now so you already know what I’m going to say so it might be pretty useless. It feels pretty useless to talk to you about it. It just hurts knowing that you were only ever there to be a douche. But I guess now is my time to be a douche back.

Why? Why am I here? Why did you write my story this way? Why did I have to get caught? Why was it me and not Sam? Was it always because Sam was always your golden child? Was he always meant to be the one you favored? Why does everyone favor him over me? I am just as good as him. I worked just like anyone. I don’t know why people think that I was the bad child. Why was I the bad child? Why do you hate me so much?

Sam…I know I mentioning him would bring all of it back up again. My therapist says that Sam was everything that I ever wanted to be. The favored child. Instead, I was the soldier child. Maybe she put it in different words. Golden child. I think that’s how she put it. The one that could do no wrong. The one I wanted to be instead of the one I was. The one who got in trouble for everything even when I didn’t do anything wrong in the first place. I mean…I deserved it. I think…she says I didn’t but I think some of it was deserved. Some of it had to have been desired.

I…I think I was a bad child.

I mean…I turned tricks outside of rest stops just to fed Sam. But that was survival and those men were pedophiles.

I killed people. Like actual living people...and those people were good people. People who wanted to live. Those…those things inside of them were using them as vessels but I killed them. I killed so many people I think I would be in jail for longer than someone’s natural lifespan. But that happens with most serial killers. Once you get past a certain point….

Dean balled up the paper and tossed it over to one of the darkened corners of the room. His eyes lingered on the cases for far longer than he wished.

Dear Roxanne Chambers,

I know you said I needed to heal myself. To heal my inner child. You threatened me with jail more than once and we both know that’s a little manipulative. If you really wanted me to open up, you would have known that I would have never done that no matter what you did. Everything I told you was under the threat of going back to jail but I never was scared of jail. Not really. Was I scared of going there because of the people who knew me and what I did? All of the people that I had wronged because of what happened to their family or friends. I assure you that the innocents that were killed because of what I did were collateral damage. Damage caused by me looking too deep into another one of my father’s hunting trips.

I ask myself pretty often why I decided to drag Sam into this. He was off at college. He never wanted any part of this. One hunting trip and that was it. That was all he promised. That was all I ever wanted to bring him on. One trip to see if we could try and find dad. But one thing leads to another and now I am writing this letter to you. I don’t know why it’s you, my therapist of all people but you’re the next best person besides God and I know God. God is the reason for everything in my life. He was the one puppet mastering everything from the beginning but it’s not like I can blame the guy.

I…I don’t know why you asked me to do this. I think there is some psychobabble nonsense that you would spew if you were listening to this right now but…I think we both know there will be no next meeting. I think that this is much of a goodbye letter to you as it is saying goodbye to this life…

I think I was meant to be on the road forever. I resided myself to that fact long ago. That there was nothing else I was born to do. Even if I was turning tricks at truck stops to feed my brother. Even if I killed people. I think our job is just as important as any other. I mean, we do have to do some illegal shit to get by but I think the ends justify the means. The end is that everyone else…people like you…don’t know that there are things out there that do these things.

My purpose…my inner child screams for healing and we both know that but I think there is nothing I can really do to save him. I think he would have actually liked this for me. I mean, there’s this part of me who still wishes that I had a white picket fence and a golden retriever and 2.5 kids and a wife (or husband). I think that vanished the minute my mom burned on that veiling. That there is nothing I could have done to stop it. I mean…I think my mom was the only thing that was stopping my dad from doing it. Now that she’s gone then…I can’t stop hunting and I don’t think I want to stop hunting.

I think there are some things out there that I don’t want to know is out there. There are still monsters to hunt all over America. They never stop. They’re like a hydra. Cut off one head and two more grow in their place. I know bringing someone like me as a kid wouldn’t even be an option. Either I kill as many as I can or I die trying. I think that is the best option. There is no healing my inner child. I think if you had asked me to do that years ago when I was young and angry then I think you could have done it. But I think I am too far gone. This surely would have helped but…I think we both know that it is a futile attempt to make me look normal.

None of this is right. None of this is going to make me okay. Did you know how some psychopaths will go to therapy just to learn tricks to appear normal? It’s almost as if they thought that it wouldn’t happen to me either. Who thought it was a good idea to drag me to therapy instead of jail. Granted, I had to agree to that but we both know that therapy is better than jail in most situations. Other than doctors like you who break HIPPA in order to rat out on their patients. It’s a little morally gray, don’t you think? You claim to do no harm yet in the same breath do some harm when you go about telling my business to everyone else. But maybe I’m just dumb and there’s something I’m missing.

Roxanne, here’s the thing, I don’t think I will ever get better. I don’t think a normal life was supposed to be for me. If I went to prison and was somehow paroled, I think I would have gone out and kept hunting. This is something I was born to do. I think this is meant to be more than just this. But I am going hunting again. I won’t be back…I won’t be back ever.

I don’t care if you send out a manhunt for me. I can go to any country I want and there is nothing you can do about it. I’ve been doing this longer than you’ve been alive. I know how to disappear and I’ve become damn good at it.

Dean Winchester

Dean folded up the letter and placed it into an envelope. No need to address it. He would drop it off himself. He didn’t need anyone to be opening this up and looking at the ramblings of a mad man. That and he wanted to make damn well sure that this was going to the right person. Not someone who was in the same building but her or someone who could very easily get it to her. Only then would he know it was safe. Only then would he be able to be free from this. But he still had one more person to tell. One last person…

Sam,

I know we haven’t talked in forever but I need to tell you something. I don’t think I have ever written a letter to you before and I think this will be the last time that I will. I don’t want to drag you into this mess anymore. I don’t want you to be a part of this. You don’t deserve to be a part of this and for that, I am sorry.

I never wanted to drag you into this. I don’t think it was ever fair for me to drag you into this. I know I was a bad brother for doing that and I hope that one day you can forgive me for that. But for now, I have to work on forgiving myself and that means that I have to leave.

So, I’m going on a hunting trip and I won’t come home.

Don’t come looking for me. Don’t get yourself in any more trouble than you’ve already gotten yourself into. Just…live the life I dragged you away from. Go back to school. Get your degree. Practice law. Maybe someday I’ll see you in court.

Love you, Sammy.

Dean folded the letter up and put it into an envelope just like he had done with Roxanne’s. There the two of them sat on his desk as he stood up and inspected the room. His hands dug into the layers of paper on the wall and ripped them down. The thin, soft paper didn’t pose a risk of papercuts. What he didn’t rip was placed into a folder where he stuffed them inside in hopes of salvaging any research he had before he left.

The folder was stuffed by the time the room was done and a thin layer of sweat covered his hot cheeks. He moved through the rest of the apartment to get the rest of what he needed. He packed what he needed and left what he didn’t. A small duffle bag sat at the bottom of his closet in his pristine room. Already mostly packed with clothing and personal hygiene items. There was another duffle bag hidden underneath the loose floorboards near the front door filled with the rest of his hunting items. The two letters were in his hands as Dean grabbed the final bag on his way out towards his car.

He tossed the bags in the back before coming back to the front. The car door slammed behind him as he started the car. He made his way blindly towards Sam’s house. A deep pit in his stomach finally opened up. Was he guilty? Was this a bad decision? Should he have just stayed put?

A car horn beeped behind him. His eyes flicked up to the green light in front of him but he couldn’t bring himself to pill forward. Left and he can pretend none of this ever happened. Right and he could never turn back. The car horn beeped again. This time Dean actually followed through on the directions given to him by the car behind him. He pulled the car forward and turned right down the road towards Sam's house.

The radio blared music but the words were lost on Dean as he made his way to drop off the letter at Sam’s house. Sam’s house. Technically he wasn’t even supposed to go near Sam’s house but he had already decided to break this pact. It was a conscious decision on his end and if he was already going to run then he was going to do it the right way, by telling his brother where he was going and what he was doing.

Sam’s house was only a few minutes away from where he lived but they had never seen each other over the course of the years in which Dean was on probation. Part of the no-contact order. The two of them were too much trouble as it was together. The two of them had caused this whole situation in the first place.

Sam’s car wasn’t in the driveway but his wife’s was. Surely she would see him drop off the letter but that didn’t matter anymore. This wasn’t about him and if she told him that he was here then he probably would have at least gotten the note by then so it didn’t matter.

Dean stepped out of the car, leaving the engine idling in the driveway as Dean made his way up to the door. Kids. He could hear the kids playing inside. His niece and nephew whom he had never seen were playing inside and from the sounds of it, it seemed to be cops and robbers. Tears pricked at Deans's eyes as he dropped down to his knees in front of the perfectly painted door. The door he was supposed to have.

Don’t I deserve this life? Dean thought to himself. He cared for Sam all his life and he got this life while Dean was going back on the road. Dean slipped the letter on the door and made his way back down the stairs towards his car. Sam deserves this life. As is the life of an older brother. Sacrificing everything to help out his younger brother.

The next stop was the therapist’s office and that was all the way downtown. He would have to cut through there to get to the highway anyways so it would be nice anyways to make one last stop.

Dean slapped the letter onto the receptionist’s desk, “Tell Roxanne that I’m not coming back. I’m not ever coming back. I’ve got work to do.”

The door slammed shut behind him as Dean stormed out of the building and into the parking lot. He jumped into his car. The engine turned over. The open road stared back at him.

All healed if Dean said so himself.