#Hence this being on my main blog instead of my side blog

[rants-about-opm]

Got diagnosed with Depersonalization Disorder today, but my examiner has decided that means there is no way my inability to focus or properly communicate or stop ranting could possibly be ADHD.

So now I have to go find out if its autism.

Because that it a completely separate evaluation.

That I now have to ask my psychiatric about, wait to get referred, wait to get scheduled, and then finally go to just for the 60 percent chance they will blame it on me feeling inhuman.

I am very hurt.

[the-smut-analyst]

A defence of the Good Guy / Bad Boy love triangle

It is no secret that mainstream YA & NA fantasy gravitates towards an angsty love triangle. But is this trope's popularity due to vapid teenage vanity... or something far deeper?

Warning: in this post, I will be referencing: True Blood/The Southern Vampire Mysteries, Legendborn, A Court of Thorns and Roses, The Shadow and Bone Trilogy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Hunger Games, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, and The Vampire Diaries. Some minor spoilers, mostly relating to the romance side of things, may be involved.

I have stumbled across a bunch of articles lately analysing why love triangles are popular in YA and NA fiction - and all of them, in my opinion, missed the entire point.

Firstly, they focus entirely on the "love interests", while wilfully ignoring the fact that the romance element is often a subset of these stories, rather than the main focus (more on that later).

Secondly, these articles often attribute the appeal of the love triangle to "teenage vanity". They either directly state or imply that young women are drawn to the idea of "provoking" two men into a fight for their affection.

Look, I get it.

Or at least I get how a middle-aged man tap-tap-tapping away on his computer might draw that conclusion. Especially if the crux of his knowledge regarding female-centred fantasy rests on blog posts ripping apart Twilight.

But regardless, the fact remains that labelling YA love triangles as a conceited sexual fantasy is a gross over-simplification. Why? Because romance is rarely the point of the story. Instead, the love triangle is a vehicle through which the author complements and elevates the standard Hero's Journey plot beats.

To demonstrate this argument, I will go through each of the critical plot beats in the Hero's Journey. For each beat, I will demonstrate (with examples) how dual love interests can underscore the character development of the protagonist and highlight her emotional struggles during each stage.

The outline for this analysis will be as follows:

Introduction of the Female Protagonist / Refusal of the Call

Meet the Good Guy / Meeting the Mentor

Meet the Bad Boy / Tests, Allies, and Enemies

Death of Innocence / The Ordeal in the Abyss

Heartbreak / "Death" of the Mentor

Grief for Lost Innocence / Refusal of the Return

Self-Discovery / The Road Back Home

Female Protagonist Accepts Her New Self / Master of Two Worlds

For reference, here is a rough outline of the major plot beats in the Hero's Journey:

Alright. Time to rip apart some assumptions.

Let's go!

Introduction of the Female Protagonist

Refusal of the Call

Mainstream fantasy love triangles almost always centre a female protagonist hence why people love to hate on them. The introduction of this protagonist generally follows your fairly standard Hero's Journey opening.

We meet the protagonist, usually a teenager or young woman, going about their "everyday life" in the ordinary world.

But then the Call to Adventure comes - sometimes referred to as the Inciting incident. For Feyre (ACOTAR), this moment is when she kills a wolf who turns out to be Fae. Or for Katniss (HG), her sister's name is drawn, prompting her to offer herself as a tribute instead.

The Call to Adventure or Inciting Incident marks a point of no return - even though the protagonist might not realise it at the time. It is the moment when life as they know it ends. Afterwards, nothing will ever be the same, including the protagonist.

The following beat is usually the Refusal of the Call, where the protagonist resists any change coming their way. Buffy (BTVS), for example, wants to continue her life as a regular teenage girl instead of being burdened by the duties of being the Slayer. Similarly, Sabrina (TCAOS) is hesitant to participate in the dark baptism, scared of its implications for her ties to the mortal world.

But for the plot to move forward, something or someone needs to prompt the protagonist to leave the "ordinary" world behind - and in turn, take those first few tentative steps into the "special" world (unknown).

Enter...

Meeting the Good Guy

Meeting the Mentor

The Mentor doesn't always have to be an Obi-Wan-style character who teaches the protagonist everything they know about lightsabers. In its simplest form, the Mentor archetype is a guide. Someone who takes the protagonist by the hand, either literally or metaphorically, and leads them from the ordinary world into the special one.

This transition is known as Crossing the Threshold and it is the beat that marks the shift from Act I to Act II.

Now, there is a good reason why the Meeting the Mentor plot beat often serves as a precursor to Crossing the Threshold. And no, it isn't because the protagonist is incapable of doing anything by themselves.

Instead, the Mentor character is often employed to explain how this new world works to both the protagonist and the reader alike.

Through the protagonist interacting with a "guide", the rules and systems of the new world can be revealed through dialogue and action, rather than excessive exposition and info-dumping.

And this is where the "good guy" as a Mentor character stand-in comes into play. His arrival serves the dual purpose of propelling the protagonist into the Crossing the Threshold beat and guiding her once she does.

For example, Sookie's budding romance with Bill is what introduces her (and us) to the Charlene Harris's world of vampires in True Blood. Or, in Tamlin's case, he takes his role in "helping" Feyre to cross the threshold quite literally and abducts her, forcing her to leave the human world behind in place of the world of Fae.

Now, there are quite a few exceptions to this good guy/mentor rule and they generally occur when the good guy is a childhood friend or sweetheart. Examples include Harvey (TCAOS), Gale (HG), and Malyen (SAB).

When this happens, the good guy often provides the protagonist with a much-needed link to her previous life and/or the ordinary world. He takes on more of a "grounding" role, rather than a guiding one.

But regardless, what these good guys have in common is a fairly standard set of traits. They are protective, have a strong moral compass, and are incredibly loyal to the protagonist.

Furthermore, they are almost always the protagonist's "first love". They offer her the emotional support she needs in order to move forward by making her feel less alone in the world.

Regardless of whether the good guy is a childhood friend or a mentor-like character, his relationship with the protagonist usually marks a time of both innocence and self-discovery. He is a source of love and companionship while the protagonist takes those first few tentative steps into the unknown.

Meeting the Bad Boy

Tests, Allies, and Enemies

The Hero's Journey is, at its essence, a Bildungsroman-like story. Or at least it is in the YA/NA genres. It is a coming-of-age tale, with Crossing the Threshold being a symbol for leaving the child behind in order to discover the adult that awaits.

What follows is a collection of plot beats known as Tests, Allies, and Enemies. This stage of the story is often fraught with missteps and small triumphs, good times and bad times - much the same as adolescence.

And this is where the bad boy comes in.

Sometimes the bad boy manifests as an enemy who the protagonist must face in some kind of test like Spike to Buffy. Other times, he presents as a Temptation beat, like the Darkling does to Alina (SAB), trying to lure the protagonist away from their path.

But regardless of how he makes his entrance, the initial purpose of the bad boy is almost always to bring the protagonist face-to-face with the dangers of this new world.

For example, through Eric, Sookie realises that not all vampires are polite and restrained like Bill. Similarly, Feyre's first encounters with Rhysand show her an even darker side to the Fae.

Even bad boys who are not outright evil still tend to behave in a way that the protagonist finds confronting, like Peeta (HG), whose ruthlessly practical survival tactics disturb the very moral Katniss.

In this sense, the bad boy fashions himself into a symbol of the harsh realities of adulthood. Much as a child might find their first encounter with the cruelty of the world shocking, the protagonist is shocked and appalled by the bad boy.

We're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy.

However, it is important to note that the bad boy is usually just one component of the beats involved in the Tests, Allies, and Enemies section. Again, this ties in with my argument that these stories are a Hero's Journey first - with the love triangle simply underscoring that fact.

The friendships that Buffy forms with Willow and Xander are shown to be her two most enduring relationships, while her love interests come and go. In Legendborn, Bree's quest to learn the truth about her mother's death has nothing to do with romance at all. And Sabrina's rivalry-to-friendship arc with Prudence gets significant screen time across multiple episodes and seasons.

During the Tests, Allies, and Enemies stage, the protagonist is usually starting to come into her own. She faces challenges, forms friendships, and encounters enemies. And yes, with love triangles there's usually some lust and romance thrown in there, too.

But the main focus of this stage is that the protagonist is starting to learn who she is. She is becoming more and more powerful with each setback and triumph.

The Death of Innocence

The Ordeal in the Abyss

The Ordeal into the Abyss, also known as The Belly of the Whale, is a plot beat where the protagonist encounters their greatest test thus far.

Rather than this beat being the climax of the story, The Ordeal is generally a challenge that the protagonist must face before the final confrontation or battle - and they must do so alone. It sees them hitting rock bottom and coming face-to-face with their greatest fear, whatever that may be.

This plot beat is a transformative one. It forever changes the protagonist and readies them for the final battle ahead. It is a death of innocence. The moment when the "girl" becomes the "woman", so to speak.

And in this sense, The Ordeal in the Abyss comes with loss and gain in equal measure. Yes, the protagonist is stronger for the experience, but not without cost.

To get to this point, she has been to hell and back. Sometimes literally (cough, cough. Sabrina). The protagonist is now well acquainted with the darkness of this new world but, in order to survive it, she has to absorb some of that darkness into herself.

If you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes into you.

The aftermath of The Ordeal usually sees the protagonist having conflicting feelings over what she has discovered about herself.

On the one hand, she might relish her newfound power and strength. But on the other hand, she may also be afraid of who she had to become in order to emerge triumphant.

Heartbreak

"Death" of the Mentor

The Death of the Mentor isn't always a literal death, but rather, it is a plot beat that forces the protagonist to stand on their own two feet.

By losing the mentor, the protagonist's safety net is ripped out from underneath them. It places them in a "sink or swim" situation that is critical to their growth as a character.

This is why the relationship with the good guy must either falter or end at some point, even if only temporarily. Their breakup serves as a stand-in for the Death of the Mentor plot beat.

Because despite romance featuring heavily in these stories, there is still an inherent idea within them that there are certain steps in a woman's coming-of-age that she must take alone.

The cause of this breakup is almost always due to the transformation that the protagonist underwent during The Ordeal. The good guy no longer understands her, even though he may want to.

For example, Feyre's experience Under the Mountain sees her outgrow her coddled life with Tamlin. Similarly, when Katniss returns to 12, Gale can't fully comprehend what she went through, nor the role she is being forced to play as a result.

Grief for Lost Innocence

Refusal of the Return

The combination of The Ordeal and the Death of the Mentor take their emotional toll on the protagonist. She mourns for the girl she once was, the loss of her first love, and the ordinary world that is now a stranger to her.

What follows is a low point called The Refusal of the Return. Sometimes this beat sees the protagonist running away from her problems, as Buffy does when she flees Sunnydale after killing Angel.

Other times, The Refusal of the Return is a period of rebellion. Grief manifests itself into rage and the protagonist leans more heavily into that darker side of themselves that they discovered during The Ordeal. Like when Elena turns off her humanity following the loss of her brother.

It is usually during this stage that the bad boy begins to take on a more prominent role. (Welcome back to the plot, bad boys!)

At some point, either during this beat or perhaps earlier, we see a different side to the bad boy. Most often, this occurs when the bad boy shows the protagonist some kind of vulnerability, leading her to second guess her first impression.

In the Darkling's case, Alina recognises his profound loneliness. Sookie witnesses Eric's grief at the loss of his maker, Godric. And Rhysand confides in Feyre about the horrors he endured at the hands of Amarantha.

However, seeing this "other" side isn't just a plot device to justify the protagonist's developing feelings for the bad boy. But rather, it serves as a mechanism through which the protagonist's assumptions and beliefs are thrown into question. Not just about the bad boy, but about the world in general.

Disrupting the protagonist's foundations is essential to nearly all emotionally-driven storytelling. Through shattering the her beliefs - whether it be in a system or person - the narrative is propelled forward as the protagonist is then forced into come to her own conclusions.

And this - THIS! - is where the "good guy / bad boy dynamic" becomes so much more than just a blatant over-simplification of male archetypes pandering to female sexual fantasy.

The dichotomy of "good" and "bad" expands here to represent larger choices that the protagonist has to make. Comfort or danger? Honour or Power? Altruism or ambition?

Furthermore, the protagonist's conflicting feelings about the two love interests underscores the very real push-and-pull we all feel during adolescence. Where we crave the adventure and independence of adulthood while simultaneously mourning the safety and protection of childhood.

And this is why the good guy / bad boy love triangle can be such a great plot device. It's not only fun to read (when done well) but it makes sense that the protagonist might find herself drawn to someone whose darkness matches her own.

Who the bad boy is - and what he has done - creates a safe space for the protagonist to explore this darker side of herself. To rebel. To fall apart. To be selfish for once, instead of selfless.

At a time when others in the protagonist's life, like the good guy or her friends, my judge or simply not understand her, the bad boy offers a reprieve. But whether this reprieve positively or negatively influences the protagonist tends to vary from story to story.

Sometimes he is the one who encourages her Refusal of the Return, as the Darkling does for Alina. Other times, the bad boy helps the protagonist in returning to her path, rather than luring her away from it, by offering her his understanding.

Peeta gets what Katniss is going through in a way Gale never can because he went through it, too. Similarly, Stefan can't provide Elena with the reassurance she needs after becoming a vampire because he has never come to terms with his own loss of humanity - therefore, enter Damon.

Self-Discovery

The Road Back Home

The Road Back Home sees the protagonist emerging from her Refusal of the Return. It is when she embarks on the journey to fully reconcile the girl she once was with the woman she has become. To do this, she needs to confront her trauma from The Ordeal and forgive herself for whatever darkness it might have awakened.

This is usually a gradual process that takes place over many chapters or episodes. In many ways, it is a mirror to the Crossing the Threshold beat. Except this time around, the protagonist is looking inwards not outward - instead of discovering the new world, she is discovering herself.

During this time, the bad boy's relationship with the protagonist is often explored more deeply. Being loved by the bad boy - darkness and all - is usually a precursor to the protagonist beginning to accept this darker side of herself, too.

But a distinction needs to be made here between "accept" and "embrace". The former does not necessitate the latter, and whether or not the bad boy gets his own redemption arc usually serves as the distinction between the two.

In the Darkling's case, he certainly helps Alina to come into her power, but ultimately, Alina rejects the path that he is trying to lead her down. The Darkling might have helped her to accept her darkness, but she does not fully embrace it the way he does.

Other times, when the bad boy gets his own redemption arc, we see a precursor to self-love through their relationship. Because in pursuing her feelings for the bad boy, the protagonist has to reconcile the fact that people are nuanced, and no one is entirely good nor evil. In forgiving the bad boy for his past wrongdoings, the protagonist sees that it is possible to forgive herself, too. Damon and Elena's arc (in the TV adaptation) is a good example of this.

But regardless of where things may or may not go with the bad boy, the next plot beat has nothing to do with romance at all. Now, the protagonist is ready for the final battle.

The Female Protagonist Accepts Herself

Master of Two Worlds

Everything the protagonist has been through has been leading her to this moment. Her triumphs, her defeats. Her discoveries and lessons. Her friends and mentors and lovers.

She's faced evil, maybe even embraced a little of it, and come out stronger and better for the experience. She has finished mourning the child she once was and accepted the woman she has become.

Now she is ready, as a master of both worlds, to face whatever comes next. And we, as readers, now get to enjoy the final battle!

Basically, the protagonist is a certified badass now - and she's going to win.

Now, where the romance goes during or after this plot beat is very, very varied. Sometimes, the protagonist stays with the bad boy, like Feyre does with Rhysand. Other times, the relationship is temporary, like Eric and Sookie. Or, in the case of Buffy, neither the good guy nor the bad boy remains in the picture. In fact, a very deliberate choice was made with her story to avoid an "end-game" romantic pairing.

And the reason why the romance is pretty damn varied is because, well, it doesn't really matter. The romance is the cherry on top of the story, not the whole damn cake.

Conclusion

I understand that love triangles might not be everyone's cup of tea - and that's okay. But to paint the entire trope under the broad strokes of teenage vanity and wish fulfilment is to do it a disservice.

Because for the most part, it isn't just some vapid romance. A lot of the most popular stories within the genre are actually complex YA fantasies in and of their own right, driven by your standard emotionally-driven, coming of age beats. They just happen to feature a female protagonist who falls in love.

Okay, maybe in this example she falls in love a few times. But so what? Getting your heart broken and mended again is a part of growing up, so why shouldn't it have a place in YA/NA fiction?

If young men are allowed to froth over some guy getting bitten by radioactive a spider and getting superpowers, then we can have two sexy vampires pining over the same girl.

[heavensmortuary]

Hi there side B friend!! came here from Robin's poll; do you mind giving any suggestions around reducing dysphoria, if you experience it? The blog I only recently set up that deals with this aspect of me is @dysphoric-sideb (....or something like that I can't remember the username order oop) but it's a sideblog and I don't want to reveal my main, hence I'm on anon.

God bless you :)

howdy there! I do experience dysphoria (mainly things that go beyond she/her, he/him, they/them, such as feeling like nothing/absent altogether), and I do wish I was better at reducing it, but it's still a very big struggle unfortunately. I don't have very good advice on the subject because I really haven't found anything that helps for more than a short period of time. However! A short period of time is better than nothing, so here goes:

Physical labor, such as working on something a bit difficult like yard work, farm work, or helping build things, and it's that's not an option, running or even something as simple as dancing around. I found that the more rigorous the better, because it tends to remind that you have a body and that the body is good. I highly recommend gardening and yard work, because it's moving forward with a goal in mind and you have to work hard to accomplish said goal and make full use of your body. Another is making something with your hands. Be it working on a physical painting, or fixing something mechanical, it helps remind that your body is good. Again, if this isn't an option, feel free to discard! It's just the thing that helps me most

On a related note, making sure I spend a good amount of time if I have it (like on weekends) outside, almost entirely focused on textures around me. Being inside or at work for a long long time with absolutely no break makes dysphoria much worse. Taking the time to feel the textures around is good, like picking up pebbles and holding leaves, anything that helps ease feelings of mind/body/gender dissociation.

Dressing well helps too, even if I'm at home. Meaning if I'm wearing clothes that are easy to throw on, I usually pair it with something nice. I don't know really why it helps in my opinion, but it does at least.

This sounds a bit silly, but it helps on the daily at lease in my own experience, to make a character/oc that is the gender I already am, and make them pretty cool or able to be who I'd like to be, not gender wise. I guess that's a persona or something? I've found that being able to make stories with a character already like I already am, instead of a character with the pronouns I would like to identify with, helps center myself, feel real and capable, and not feel as trapped. Otherwise connecting with a character who's gender is what I'd like to be makes things worse :lc at least in my own experience

Another one that sounds silly but has helped imo, is simply listening to stories in real life. Ask people to tell you a story about their lives or history or something. Old folks are the best about this. Collect real experiences close to your heart, and you'll feel more connected with people, even gender wise. I don't know really how to explain it I guess, but hearing real things genuinely helps focus in on what's really important in life as creation. sorry if this doesn't make sense lol

I wish I had more specific advice, since most of this is obvious and mainly helps with general quality of life, but if your quality of life is better, so is your mental health, and so is your dysphoria. God bless you too! I do hope some of these is at least a bit helpful to you

[findingtomarrymort]

LOST FICS

I am looking for a fic that has harry potter going back in his eleven year old body after the second war (I guess?) Or he could also not be back in his eleven year body but some other year. I just know that he was master of death and he stood up to snape when he was being an arse to him. Harry time traveled back in time, I vividly remember the scene. Harry was in a potion class and snape as usual was being an arse and harry thought maybe he wouldn't be harsh on him or even change but no snape was still an arse to him and harry had enough so he called snape a Bastard who was pathetic and wouldn't move on from his gurge and he walked out and refused to attended the class unless snape apologized for his behavior and promise not to do it again. Hermione and Ron tried to pursue harry with other professors as well, but he was adamant about it and refused to attend potion class, at last Dumbledore called harry and snape in his office and tried to solve it but snape was still an arse.

i've been trying to find this fic for years now and have had no luck. it's a fanfic about how harry has 2 personalities (assumed it was from the horcrux but not explicitly stated) and he was so much smarter because of it. In it, harry is a ravenclaw, Hermione is a slytherin, and so is Fred but idk about George. Also snape gets eaten by a basilisk and the basilisk is named hedwing. Also, harry creates a potion to turn some boys into girls so Daphne doesn't have to marry Theo nort. Last I checked it was uncompleted and I'm pretty sure it changed its name.

Hello! I've been trying to find this fanfiction on Ao3 for a while with no luck. It is a Dark Lord/Harry fanfiction, and possibly completed. I remember it having a pretty high word count. Vaguely, I can remember that Bellatrix and Harry dueled in front of the Inner Circle Death Eaters and Voldemort, and though Harry struggled for the most part, I'm pretty sure he won. I vividly remember Draco yelling at him for talking to Daphne. Harry thinks that Draco has a crush on Daphne, but Draco kisses Harry instead. Harry pushes him away.

Hey! I'm not sure if you already have the fic here, but am anyways asking. I'm looking for fem!Harry/Tom fic. It's on ao3, multi-chaptered and completed. It's name is something like The Rise of _____ What I remember from it after her sixth year, Harry (I think her name is different) leaves Britain, goes to America with Sirius, studies in Ilvermorny, she's in contact with Death who helps her against Dumbledore (it's a bad!Dumbledore one) anyway before leaving I think she was in contact with Tom, who now kinda randomly shows up to 'woo' her, she's also good friends with Draco, Narcissa and Bellatrix (calles her Auntie Trixie) It's not a very old fic, completed sometime b/w 2021-23

the fic im searching for Harry gives Tom permission to do whatever he wants. It was multichaptered and finished. At one point there’s a Harry/Cedric bit but Tom admits that he would rather not see anybody touch Harry that way again and I think he obliviates Cedric? Also Tom and Harry get frisky on the side of the quidditch shed in a fit of jealously due to Ginny. At the end the order tries something and makes Harry’s cat sick and he gets almost kidnapped by leaving.

Hi there! This blog is AMAZING. I was delighted to be recced. I need some help looking for a fic on fanfiction.net that I highly suspect has been deleted, but am still hoping it may be my sub-par searching skills. It is a multichapter ongoing story, and had maybe two chapters up when I read it. The main characters are Harry Potter and Tom Riddle in a hospital setting (it may be St. Mungos). Harry is a star (like a literal celestial star) in the body of a child, which has a lot of problems containing him, and is hence in a state of near-death. He coughs blood. Tom Riddle's mother is also long-term hospitalized and he comes to visit her. This is how they end up meeting in the hispital. (And all I remember of the story). Pretty sure it was on ff.net between 2009 and 2012. I never could find it again.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

… HUH

WAhhhhhhhHHH 😭 Thank you for 7k+ followers!!? I say this every time we hit a new major milestone, but I didn’t think we’d ever make it this far?? If you think about it, it’s really amazing that so many of us united over a shared interest!

I appreciate all the love and the support that has come my way! 🙇‍♀️ I hope you’ll stick around and continue to enjoy my works.

dbksbsk?)F)d)-!2 I didn’t really know what to do to celebrate this milestone, but 🥹 since “7” is a special number (ie 1k for each dorm), I thought to share some dorm uniform doodles and design notes of the blog mascot/muse, Miss Raven! I hope you find this at least semi-interesting!

Heartslabyul

Heartslabyul Raven pulls inspiration from various sources, the main one being the titular Alice from Alice in Wonderland. To begin, Raven’s hair is down and allowed to be wild and whimsical like that of a child. The frilled apron and headband with the bow are meant to emulate Alice in many popular depictions, including Disney’s own. The style of the bows is also meant to invoke White Rabbit imagery (as it resembles his ears). You’ll also notice that a pocket watch similar to that of the White Rabbit hangs from Raven’s waist.

I wanted to go for a “fun-loving yet innocent schoolgirl” look, hence the pleated skirt and short, broad tie. The sash at Raven’s waist has a bow that is larger larger than the average Heartslabyul student; this creates the illusion of Raven being smaller than she usually is—an allusion to the shrinking and growing that young Alice does in her tale. The sash also just looks cute and playful at that size, jutting out on one side. I tried to keep true to Heartslabyul’s asymmetry throughout the design, right down to the socks. On one leg, it’s long and white, with a trail of card suits running down it. The other leg has a checkered leg warmer!

Her jacket is cropped to be shorter than her shirt and vest just to be a little cheeky! You can’t see it in the drawing, but pinned on the left side of Raven’s jacket is a Joker to indicate that she is a “wild card” in the deck. She’s sort of out of place compared to the other card soldiers; this is also evident by the mark under her left eye. Instead of bearing a card suit, Raven has a black feather and some glitter. After all, she’s not a card soldier, but a raven from a riddle with no answer.

This one’s definitely a favorite probably due to my own Alice in Wonderland bias! I feel like I captured the energy of Heartslabyul well while also incorporating very distinctly “Raven” elements.

Savanaclaw

It was very challenging for me to design a variant of the Savanaclaw uniform since it’s the aesthetic I like the least of the seven dorms (biker plus… cowboy??? 😭). Surprisingly though, I don’t mind the end product!

Since Raven was originally an actual raven/bird, I kept her pigtails as a nod to her animalistic roots. They’ve been moved a little higher on her head and they’re much messier, but the general idea is still there! I added some feathers with the same coloration as Zazu as accessories (since he, too, is a bird), and while that adds new colors to the overall look, I'm not sure how successful it was at blending with the Savanaclaw design philosophy.

Of course, Raven's wearing the dorm's shirt but since it's so loose and baggy she has something of a latticework camisole underneath for safety. In an earlier version of the look, Raven was in shorts and her legs were exposed. Then I thought, "it's just too weird to see her legs completely uncovered!" and I gave her leggings to go with those shorts. I toyed around with the idea of ripping the leggings at the knees, but I figures that since these are dorm uniforms, the school probably wouldn't want to hand the students already damaged clothes. I tried to substitute it by emulating "scratches and tears" in the pattern of the leggings.

There's a lot more jewelry than I expected in this design. There's the choker at her neck with a single pearl, then a bunch of bracelets on both wrists. Raven has gloves meant for fashion, but since it has little spikes on the knuckles, it looks like she's asking for a fight, haha... One of those bracelets might just break in the carnage and confused everyone.

Octavinelle

This one's simple yet clean, so I probably don't have a ton to remark on! The coat is way too big on Raven, so slips down her shoulders and creates the illusion of a "boat" neckline, similar to the dresses Vanessa (Ursula's human form) wears. Below that is a dress shirt and ribbon, a pencil skirt and a cummerbund. Very proper but also stylish, whether with or without the coat.

The obscuring wide brim on her hat and the peculiar boa-like way of wearing the scarf is supposed to help Raven come off like a classy rich lady that stumbled into a den of sharks--and integrates with those sharks. The longer ribbons are also meant to contribute to this sense of elegance; the tails look like streaming jellyfish stingers, no?

I thought to add pearl jewelry to make Raven look even more "rich", but jewelry clashes too much with Octavinelle's non-flashiness. Instead, I ended up incorporating pearls into her hat; they hang off in strings, so it kind of looks like they're falling down like "mermaid tears". DKJLLIDIBASDABSODAS The pattern on the socks looks silly, but it grew on me the longer I looked at it. I think because the rest of the outfit isn't super-eye-catching, I can get away with the pattern.

Scarabia

This one had to undergo the most redesigns of the seven. The original didn't look that different than the standard Scarabia uniform--and while there's nothing wrong with that, I wanted to try harder to make the clothes unique to Raven. To achieve this, I thought of borrowing elements from Princess Jasmine. That's probably already pretty obvious from the random swathes of blue in the outfit 💦 Blue stands out against the red, but I feel the color is a more genuine representation of both Raven and Jasmine's headstrongness.

Speaking of, Jasmine really made this look "work"! For example, Raven's hair and hair accessory are basically the same as hers, save for the pinned fabric in the back that fans out into a little veil. The shape of Raven's top is also very Jasmine-inspired, from the sleeves to the triangular embellishments (meant to resemble Jasmine's earrings).

I gave up trying to perfectly recreate the golden pattern on the skirt and just freestyled it. There's a lot of lines, and a lot of implied movement. I think of Raven walking in the skirt and how nice it would look billowing out behind her... kind of like a man-made tail!

... Yes, I know the Scarabian shoes are usually sandals. No, I don't want to see anyone's toes. Therefore, I slapped some slippers on Raven and called it a day.

Pomefiore

Raven also has her hair down for Pomefiore, but in a much more meaningful and intentional manner than with Heartslabyul. She has the hair tossed over one shoulder in a fashionable kind of way. I see her flipping her hair and it smacking people she deems unworthy in the face 😂 You can’t see it well in the illustration, but Raven has a half crown braid along the back of her head.

The flowers woven into Raven’s hair aren’t supposed to be any specific kind; she just picks random ones and sticks them in her hair for added effect. With the braid, it’s slightly reminiscent of Rapunzel’s sun festival look. Just as important as the flowers is the red ribbon tied in her hair—it’s the “red thread of fate” that connects her to important people.

Pomefiore, being a dorm of traditions, doesn’t change its clothes much for Raven. The undershirt is frilled as is the case with her original outfit, but the actual construction of the robes over that is largely the same. Perhaps the only major differences can be observed in the skirt’s hemming; it’s bunched up more to form ruffles, most noticeable in the opening slit of red fabric. It’s a small twist on a classic, which lends the whole look something borrowed yet something new.

OKAY BUT I HAVE NEVER WANTED TO CHOKE FABRIC MORE THAN WHEN I HAD TO RECREATE THE APPLE PATTERN ON THE RED INNER LINING. It was so difficult to do even in a very simplified manner… And don’t get me STARTED on figuring out how the heck drawing their sleeves works! This outfit is my Overblot origin story 💀

Ignihyde

The vibe I was going for here was “kawaii cringe otakucore uwu”. The only effort I made to be inspired by a Disney property was the high ponytail; it’s supposed to look like Megara’s! The ribbon in it is frazzled to resemble running electricity or electrical wires.

The outfit Raven is wearing has the futuristic Ignihyde jacket over it, but under is an oversized turtleneck sweater dress. The opening for the head is egregiously large so Raven can comfortably tunnel in it when she’s shy or scared. Think like a turtle retreating to its shell! Even the sleeves on it are too long (though not as long as Lilia’s Labwear coat); only the tips of her longer fingers protrude from it.

This iteration of Raven comes with a lot of accessories. You can’t see most of them because of the positioning of her body, but there’s various fandom badges and pins stuck to her sweater dress. Her hair barrettes/clips can also be swapped out for new designs. It all depends on what her hyperfixation for the day is!

Her boots are meant to be platforms. (Raven wants to be taller, darn it!!) Think of those little accessories you slap onto crocs; the sides of these shoes have similar accessories.

I have to say, looking at the final design… I can’t help but think about ninjas for some reason! Maybe it’s the pose or hiding half of her face in fabric?? I think I subconsciously also think of ninjas because of a manga I read where the main character drinks green tea and temporarily gains ninja skills! She wore a scarf in a similar fashion to the turtleneck collar Raven has.

Diasomnia

This one also went through significant redesigns on account of me not understanding how the Diasomnia uniform was constructed. I stared at it for a looong time before it finally clicked in my brain.

Raven’s Diasomnia look borrows from Crowley for the feathered shoulder pads, but the rest is pretty much all original. There was not a specific inspiration this time; I just wanted to have the image of a composed princess 😌 Her hair is again down here, but it’s styled a little differently than with Heartslabyul and Pomefiore. Instead of being curly all the way down, only the ends curl. Note that she also has hair buns on either side, which are meant to resemble rosebuds.

Ribbons are a consistently present across Raven’s various wardrobe changes. Because Diasomnia is more of a mysterious group, I went with a more lowkey ribbon than the usual one for her “tie”. It still looks authoritative but also has a little whimsy to it.

The puff sleeves, tighter skirt, and flowing coat give a regal and stern silhouette. Like a rose, pretty yet dangerous. vjsbsjsnsw I think “dangerous” is the right word to use here in another context; this outfit is probably the most revealing one due to the rose-printed stockings not being fully opaque. Raven could be standing in the middle of Diasomnia and then a breeze blows, threatening to knock her over and give her a cold 🥶

xvsjvsjwns I also really like this look, but I have a difficult time articulating why. It may just be the “fairy tale princess-turned knight” energy of it???

[juliusreinholdswig]

. . . Dawg

These,,, these are not real people. They’re fictional. I know that’s not the problem here but still. Arguing over a made up person saying ‘they would never do that’ or ‘it goes against what the author put into the story’ is childish. I don’t just see this in the baki and Kengan fandoms, I see it with literally everything that I interact with. And they are all just people’s thoughts.

I’m gonna try to stay as neutral as possible about this, only because I can see both sides. As someone who takes to writing as a coping mechanism and a way to anonymously get my thoughts out and share them with people (hence the ask button) there are certain things that I don’t want to see. I follow all the baki and Kengan tags (it’s a problem really :)) but I know what I do and don’t want to read or see. If I see a blog that posts to the main tag with things that I don’t favor, I hope that they have a ‘click to expand’ thingy, maybe a warning in advance, and just keep scrolling.

If scrolling past is not your thing, block them. I get it. People make other people uncomfy. Its how the world works. It’s almost like you’ll never see them in real life and have a conversation with them. And even if you did, the chance that they bring up their kinks and what they’re into is slim to none. There is no reason to bash people for how they feel. It’s their life, don’t try to control it. Just control yours.

Put warnings. The use of a trigger warning I think is overused but if it keeps people who actually have visceral reactions to the things being written, put it. In the tags, at the beginning of the writing, in your pinned post on your blog, everywhere you can to prevent people from seeing things they would rather not read. Expand on what you write without making others uncomfortable without too much detail so people know what they’re getting into.

Why the judgment? From anyone? Not even going into the writing part of it. It isn’t anyone’s right to degrade and judge someone for how they think. There is no reason to get onto someone for what they write, how they act, what they draw. Be as respectful as possible. Block them instead of purposely keeping them unblocked to keep the ball rolling. There’s no point. We’re all adults. Why aren’t we acting like it.

[unioncolours]

I posted 349 times in 2022

19 posts created (5%)

330 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@backgroundcharacterno5

@yeoboseyokyu

@thespookymoth

@bakapandy

@blackkatmagic

I tagged 60 of my posts in 2022

#majsasaurus - 18 posts

#shikatema - 3 posts

#shikajin - 3 posts

#shikadai x inojin - 3 posts

#shikatema fanfic - 2 posts

#temari - 2 posts

#shikadai nara - 2 posts

#inojin yamanaka - 2 posts

#i am shikadai - 2 posts

#just how much are the parents hiding - 1 post

Longest Tag: 72 characters

#this is an illustration of every spicedgold nara fam fic in existence 😆

Keep reading to see my Top Posts of 2022 <3 Thank you everyone for being here for me.

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

FIC: no one cries for unknown soldiers - BEHIND THE SCENES

Hi!

If you choose to see more, you’ve most likely finished my fic no one cries for unknown soldiers, my Shikatema WWII fanfiction, or you’re too curious, haha!

A fic about World War II demands a lot of research and thinking to make sense for an audience of 2022. I wanted it also to be as realistic as I possibly could write, hence a lot of planning went into the end result. Beneath the cut, here are ideas I had which didn’t fit into the finished product, plus what my first ending would be! Read on your own risk for spoilers. Thank you, everyone.

⬇❤❤

I am a person who lets my ideas simmer for a long while before I commit to them and write them from beginning to end.

The first seeds of this WWII were born early summer 2021. The very first idea was a one shot, with Temari and Shikamaru on the same side on a battlefield, and the fic would end with them charging into combat. 

Now, that didn’t go anywhere and I let the idea of a WWII au die. Who wants to step on that landmine and write such a fic anyway?

Apparently this fool.

I let the idea of a WWII au fic rest for the entire autumn of 2021. It wasn’t until late 2021 I, actually out of spite, decided that it’s now or never, I will write this fic. That was of course before war and suffering broke out in Europe again in late February 2022. I might have never written this fic if the war had broken out earlier, yet here it is.

I always knew I would place the setting in Finland, since - well - it’s much easier to write about the part of history which you know the best. If someone didn’t pick it up, yes, I’m Finnish. Moving on! From scouting the WWII tag on AO3, it seemed most writers, from all kinds of animanga fandoms, either wanted to make the characters Japanese (to honour the origin of the franscise), British during the Blitz, or SS officers (probably for added angst). However, I felt like I couldn’t make it real or have proof my facts are correct if I wrote solely about another country’s army and culture. 

I always knew Shikamaru would be a Finn in the story, but to play with canon Temari had to be from another country.

My very first idea was that Temari would be a German soldier dispatched in Finland solely for the war - especially in Lapland thousand of German soldiers were dispatched to protect mines and fight alongside Finns. The main plot would be the Finns (among them - Shikamaru) deporting the Germans, and it would base itself on allies to lovers to enemies, or something along those lines, but in the name of honesty I didn’t know if I could make it feel real(istic). And, I would have had to study double the more of the Lapland war against Germany, since I don’t know as much about it as about the Continuation War. That meant that Soviet would be framed as the ‘enemy’ instead of Germany.

I played with the idea of having the Sand Sib family Russian, so they would have that extra predicament of being ‘traitors’ to both countries, but I don’t know how realistic it would end up being.

Finally I settled for German-born but raised in Finland version of Temari, and I’m super proud of the development. I think it added a perfect bittersweet, lighter version of geopolitical angst.

Things I thought about writing in, but in the end didn’t:

Rasa was going to die. At first I had scheduled it into the 4th chapter, with Rasa also being out in the field, but I never did it. I think the fact that he survived brought in even more possibilities to the story.

The Russian prisoner of war Kiba killed was going to be Omoi, but I honestly forgot to write in the hints of his identity and remembered it after the chapter was published haha.

Kiba’s death was originally going to be much more brutal. At first I was going to have him commit a war crime brutal enough to be court martialled (war trial) and was going to be executed by shooting behind a sauna. Temari and Shikamaru were going to be the executioners, as a punishment for going out their way as they did in chapter 7. It was hinted with Temari saying “We should shoot men like him” in chapter 5, with her later shooting him. Executing the own soldiers in tries to raise moral was a thing. I discussed it with my beta reader, who was of the opinion it wouldn’t make sense to write in such a crime for Kiba, so I scratched that idea before I wrote it. Him suffering an SCI and then ending his own life instead of Temari doing it was brutal in it’s own right.

Originally Lee was going to die instead of Sai in the end, but given the impact Sai had on the characters (and probably readers) it was more powerful to kill him. Lee’s death would have been heartbreaking, but not powerful, in my head.

The reason I was so hesitant with killing off Sai was because the original ending was going to feature Inojin and Shikadai on the first day of their obligatory military service (which would take part in the later 60s) and kinda tie together the idea that the experience of serving in the army is (in Finland) passed down generations as part of a heritage and culture, to always be ready to protect the country from an assault. That meant I would have to have Sai alive. 

However, in March 2022 I read an article where they interviewed one of the first women who joined the army in the 90s (now way over 40 years old) and inspired by that, I decided that *that* would be my ending, that Temari sees the army open for women be passed on to future generations instead. That way I could kill finally kill Sai.

I wanted to have a cool scene of Ino coming by skiis to them with more rifles, I had this super cool vision in my head, but no matter how I tried, I could not justify that such a thing would realistically happen in war. It’s my big sorrow I couldn’t get Ino in more scenes.

I was going to have a scene of Temari bonding with the W*ehrmacht soldiers that were sent to the Finnish-Soviet front that Kankuro spoke of in chapter 10. She would enjoy their company and become their friends. I never managed to squeeze in this scene in the already very long chapter 11.

Yes, Shikamaru’s partner who died before Temari joined his platoon was supposed to be interpeted as Asuma.

I wanted a scene with the German word “panzar” (tank). I just think that is such a beautiful word and thought of having a fun little scene when Shikamaru wonder how the name of the antitank weapon “panzarschreck” was supposed to be pronounced and Temari has some lighthearted fun. I never got around to write it in.

Things playing a bit with canon

The fact that Gaara is the one who has to take over the family’s belongings because he is the only one with Finnish citizenship was a definitive nod to him being Kazekage after his father, and Karura’s love giving him his powers = giving him the power over his family in this version.

Rasa’s brother who died in a trench in WWI and whose body was never found was a nod to the 3rd Kazekage.

Shikaku’s death in an air-strike was a nod from the Tailed Beast bomb in the 4th Ninja War.

See the full post

9 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

#4

Happy Pride for Shikajin!

As usual, my version of bisexual Inojin Yamanaka and gay Shikadai Nara 💖

15 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

#3

Gift to @sandcatart ! 🤍 

ShikaTema as grandparents 🥰

(my twitter name is majsasaurus)

17 notes - Posted August 20, 2022

#2

I know this is random, but do you have headcanons for Saiino before they got married? Like, how do you think they try to make the relationship work? Because I don't think it will be easy for them to understand each other at the beginning of their relationship.

Hii! Thank you so much for your ask.

I think love where one learns to love the other one over time is underrated! I think Saiino is an example of a couple that learned to love each other over some time, and that is not a bad thing.

Ino - however hot headed she could and can be - is also an understanding person and not stupid either; she knows Sai's background and the rocky road he has had to get where he is in Boruto. We see that she shows compassion for him in Shikamaru's story, and I can't believe she finds it too hard to continue with the same patience.

Sai is goal driven - he has an end goal after he caught feelings/interest for Ino - and thus he makes certain decisions and imitate certain behaviors to gain her interest back.

Dating ensues!

But we all know romance isn’t a single track and there must’ve for sure been times Ino is frustrated at Sai for not getting certain clues or Sai beats himself up for not understanding the situation. 

However, what makes Ino stay is when she knows Sai is trying, and he is trying for her. That is what will make her swoon over him over and over again, after a life time of competition and whatnot, and here is a man who tries his best for her and only for her. And I think knowing that is what Ino needs. She needs to not have to compete for once in her life, the least in her romance and she grows to love him back, deeply. 

This is only cemented harder when she gets to be a motif for his artwork, to know she is the apple of his eye, to have his eyes on her. “Paint me like one of your French Girls”, anyone?? The intimacy that comes with portrait painting, y’all. Underrated.

So, whenever they had an argument where they miscommunicate, I’d assume Ino would rant to Shikamaru, who from a logical sense can calmly let her know what he thinks is Sai’s POV and what he fails to tell her, and Ino would calm down and they’d talk it out. Oh god, I can see them talk a lot, not only because Ino knows talking and opening up is healthy, but also because Sai genuinely wants and needs to know what went wrong and how they can fix it. Deep talks during starry nights, over tea, in bed, in every mundane life situation. 

NSFW! He’s probably also very good at sex because this man studies and reads up on the anatomy of the female body and orgasms ensue. To be physically connected in a way sex allows one to be is something he cherish a lot, hence why he makes sure Ino comes, over and over again. Man’s a keeper. 

These were my incoherent rambles, which were maybe more of an analysis than headcanons, but I hope, anon, that you got a peek into my brain and small headcanons of them 🥰

Thank you for asking, and asks are open!

22 notes - Posted August 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Not the Witcher AU I expected to create, but the one you get

Chocho: “Did you really have to take your bard with you, Shikadai?”

Shikadai: ....... yes

Can be read as Shikajin 🥰

22 notes - Posted March 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[captain-of-silvenar]

Kerasil vs Faith

I asked my guild again for a topic to write, and @yffresbeard​ suggested what my OC’s relationship to their faith was and how their adventures might’ve affected it, if at all.

And it got me thinking, because it is kind of a huge deal to my characters (at least two of them)

I was wondering if I should just write this for one of my characters. But then I realized this is my blog and I’ll just write it for both of my characters that this will relate to.

The first on the chopping block is Kerasil Oakvine, and the simple faith she has that became her cornerstone via a series of events that may or may not have happened?

I do not know if Kerasil is my Vestige, but she certainly is my main character in ESO that I play every quest with. I have a whole story with her that is straight and without the greater plot of ESO. She never gets deeply involved with world ending plots, nor Daedric Princes, or anything more threatening than the Three Banners War.

But also maybe she has.

I haven’t read deeply into Dragon Breaks, but my understanding is that a catastrophic or powerful event has caused time to just break (hence the name) and it is no longer linear. It is fluid, piling all at once, or none at all, in multiple places, in a hideous puddle.

With this in mind, I have imagined that somewhere in this Dragon Break Kerasil is the Vestige. That she has experienced every side of this war, every quest, every event, all at once. Yet that hasn’t really changed the core of her character.

I’ve mentioned in other posts she is a strict Green Pact follower. That follows in every aspect of her life, how she interacts with people and events. It is the literal foundation of her being so she takes her faith very personally.

She understands that not everyone follows it as close as her, that there are some who bend the rules a little bit. And that’s fine, those are other people with their own relationship with it. But Kerasil, especially if she is the Vestige, relies on her faith to guide her in which actions are the most reasonable.

A core tenant of the Green Pact is to not kill wastefully. This extends to both hunting for food, and for warfare. It is difficult for Kerasil to keep to this tenant during the Three Banners War and it is because of this that she chooses death only as a last resort.

Both in-character and in-game, Kerasil will always choose the option to spare if she truly believes the person will honor her mercy to change for the better. It is wasteful to take a life just because it might be easier. In all her travels as the Vestige, choosing death did not solve anything. It only caused more grief, more sorrow, more troubles, more pain and suffering, and for what?

And choosing to spare people did not change much either in the course of her adventures, but it was one less dead person. If it came back to bite her in the ass, she took responsibility for it.

Every time she begs for a person to reconsider, to realize the error of their ways, to submit to justice and trial instead of the chopping block is her holding tight to her belief and the idea that people can change.

Change will always happen. It is the driving force of life. A story does not advance or have meaning without conflict or differences. It is what one does with it that matters and Kerasil tries very hard to hold tight to the idea that people can be better. But she is no pacifist, and she understands there are those who desire to do harm, to not change from the path they have set for themselves, and she is not one to back down or cower from it.

No world ending events, no super villain backed by the power of a Daedric Prince, no undercover plots of assassination, or any variety of chaos that Tamriel throws at her will not change her connection to her faith because it is her armor and bones.

She was born and made from the story Y’ffre sang of her. She was placed here and fought for her position as Captain and Protector. If Y’ffre sang her into her destiny to become a Vestige and break all timelines to be everywhere all at once and a Hero to All? Then Kerasil would charge right into the thick of it with that banner held up high.

And if the unique circumstances of losing her soul and regaining it gave her demi-god like power? Then she would call herself a Champion to Y’ffre as that is what she truly desires in life.

And to end it on a semi-comical note:

Very few Princes scare her now. She knows the risks and power they have, but it certainly loses its edge when you’ve personally punched at least 3 of them with your own fist. So now most relationships with them look like this.

(get it? it’s because she’s so short)

[insomanic-fanfication]

My thoughts: Women reading MNBLMNB🌹🍃

Spoiler Alert! I don't care.

I know, I know. You're expecting a huge conversation starter post, snice this post is being made on a big complex topic. Opinions can't really be summed up fully in 5 words, there is always going to be left out points.

In this post I'll express my entire opinion within this topic, as a Trans Masc/ Masc Nonbinary that loves other Trans Masc/ Masc Nonbinary and everything in-between.

Please note: With me being Autistic, there is nothing to read between the lines. The only thing that is there, are the words that I typed. I did not leave anything out on purpose, either I'm not aware of that side of the conversation or I feel that it is excluded from the topic enough, to not feel the need to bring it up.

___________________The rest is under the cut______________________

Frist a little background on myself, I've been on the internet for so long I remember YouTube's app icon being a TV. Along with that, I started to Social Transition during my 7th grade year. Besides the 2 years where I went back into the closet, I've been going by He/They pronouns for a while. I am also on the ACE spectrum and Polyamorous.

None of these things make my opinion less or more valid nor anyone else's opinion within our community, regardless of if they agree or disagree with my opinion that is based on my experiences. We need to stop treating conversations that can have many answers like math problems with only one correct answer. Especially ones that refer to a human being's experiences of life.

When it comes to Men loving men/ Masc Nonbinary loving Masc Nonbinary blogs, the main consumers of that content will be of that identity. Hence, that blog will be cratering to MLM/ MNBLMNB. An example of this, say you go to a coffee house. On their menu, they have different types of coffee and baked goods. Would it make sense to ask for a Big Mac at the Coffee house, then get mad when they tell you it's not on the menu?

It becomes a problem for women to be interacting with blogs and content directed towards male/ masculine consumers, when they start asking for changes in the content to include them. It's important for women to understand that these MLM/MNBLMNB Blogs aren't for them. We writers enjoy the interaction and support from our women/ fem presenting folks, but please don't request for a Female Reader on our blogs.

Now, before you write your comment or reblog post about, "This argument is wrong because, [Insert fandom or video games] isn't for the gays or women. So, you don't like --". That's not what I said, my point is stating, " That if a blog or store specificity says that they are catering to a specific group of people, don't be offended when you can't relate to that content or see don't what you like. When, you, yourself are not of that group".

Video games, and most fandoms don't have a specific group of people that only can have their content, most of the time being way more diverse in their earlier years before getting watered down by budget and script cuts. The best example of this, is DC comics, Night Wing, a.k.a Dick Grayson, has always been Romani. It was a huge part of his character developmental to be Romani. However, over time was changed to have lighter and lighter skin, until he was just said to be white instead.

Inconclusion, when consuming content be aware of the demographic that the content is directed towards and understand it may not relate to your own human experience or situation. It's healthy to read things outside of your own personal experience, but it's not okay to try and change it, so it fixes your own experience better. When it causes the original consumers to be excluded. ______________________________________________________________

Feel free to add to this conversation and bring your own point of views into it. I ask that you keep the conversation civil, not because it will hurt my feelings ( it won't) but because it will take away from the main point of Topic.

[somethingshifted]

ramblin about cracker island and random 'rillaz stuff. it's long & disjointed

i'll start off by saying i think a lot of the songs are jams. this is my intelligent nuanced music take. it's fun, but it's safe, and safe isn't always good or appealing. that being said... i like safe, i like it as much as i like experimental and as much as i like genre pushing. it isn't my favorite album but it's got jams. my favorite from the main album is tarantula and my favorite bonus track is crocadillaz. like, thumbs up

listening to it completely divorced from what the album is meant to be (aka what damon has said) is possible which, maybe i'm missing the cult/worship/new age social media references in some of the songs but i won't write it completely off if i'm not understanding how it tackles the cult theme. not that this is a cracker island exclusive issue i think. but it doesn't do an overarching theme as cleanly as like, Demon Days and The Now Now. but it isn't completely divorced from the theme, like the tired influencer/new gold/cracker island carry the cult ideas to me. baby queen, is so cute, but feels out of place lyrically. but it brings groove to a groovy album... maybe time will tell and it will become more apparent. when i go to rewatch somr MVs frkm Humanz days there's comments like "i didn't realize how real this was until <insert event> happened" maybe that'll happen for this album lol

i think the most egregious thing is del being restricted to a bonus/deluxe release. like come on!!! all of the bonus/deluxe tracks are worthy enough to be in the main album. on top of that, crocadillaz is my favorite from the bonuses, i would be gutted if i spent so much money on their pricey physicals just to learn i can't even listen to crocadillaz on my fancy vinyl especially it being dave of de la soul's first posthumous release?. i'm going to make an aside here - crocadillaz lyrics encompass the idea of celeb cult to me. i think if they went down this path lyrically, even keeping the musical production i would have fallen in love with the album's purpose lol (but that's just fan-brain taking over). i agree when i read wishes for the collaborators to have more of a voice in the songs especially stevie nicks and bootie brown (speaking of bootie brown. his feature in new gold was the one that made me go oh man wish i could hear you better.)

maybe it helps that i wasn't and probably will never be involved in tracking every move the band makes as they release music and building up expectations. i like picking through it later or being told about what's been going on (this phase's info has been relayed to me over the year it took to release by my brother) i decided to make a blog about since i'm back on tumblr for other fandom stuff in 2022, (this is a sideblog!) i loved the band for a long time but my interest wanes and waxes and right now it's in a massive upswing hence this blog and long post. when demon days was releasing is when i was actually aware they're a band and not just some random thing i found off miniclip (re-ups of flash games), i just allowed people to tell me about it instead of getting into the music side, due to loss of internet and life circumstances. i lived outside of the USA for a bit and home life was a bit difficult but coming back to school and seeing demon days TSHIRTS blew my fucking mind lol they were always the 'car game band' to kid me. i was never into the whole 'get SMS from the band/play on the website/forum/go to concerts' stuff. except 19-2000 game. that was a kitchen computer staple. ok i got carried away here. but i'm just saying that i'm a casual fan so take my opinion through that lens. (i do want to see them live one day)

when hearing about the circumstances cracker island was created and released under, i can't feel like it's a black mark on their discography for being a safe pop-y album, if it's something spur of the moment after (another) failed go at the movie then i can get why it sounds unfinished and the art is repetitive. on another note, i don't know why they release music in that fashion (as in, spamming singles for so long. it made me wonder what's going on between label and owner but i'm ignorant of music practices) aside- i do not want a movie i really do not unless they really kept the mockumentary angle! it would be easier even if it was mockumentary bc there's no need to keep all the lore straight lol and it can be flexible. at this point it's been so long that i think, maybe it's time to hang up the hat on that front...

TL;DR: if it was meant to be a pop album it served its purpose well, if it was meant to be commentary on cults that's a bit weaker

here's my thoughts on the loooooore:

my disclaimer here is that i still feel like the gorillaz characters are... characters? mouthpieces? so i don't really care much for the newer interviews being centered around fictional hijinks and less about making music, which was more interesting to me as i'm musically dense... i kind of ignore it and feel like nothing is lost by doing that. i think their marketing is going overboard but times change and you need to beg for streams i guess. i don't see it as completely different as what they always kind of did, as i read that s/t gorillaz was marketed towards youngeee people rather than solely adults and you can see that in the tie-ins and the game and such (and the fact that theyre cartoons!). i just have a chip on my shoulder over tiktok. i sound old but i literally am not, only turning 26 this year... that isn't old. but murdoc is. and grandpa murdoc is kind of funny that's my red flag

i'm reading Rise of the Ogre right now and i'm assuming this is the quality some people wish the interviews would have? i can agree... but. i can't bite my hat over it not being the norm anymore. i think i'd be genuinely put off if the band were actual characters with overarching plots along their entire existence, the whole point is that they're 2D (lol) and you can do things in 2 dimensions that real people can't. they're musicians one day and making cyborgs the next and reanimating the dead and collabing with snoop dogg it's better to play fast and loose IMO. so far ROTO feels like an in-between of band characters and wacky hijinks characters which is nice i guess, but i do really really love the way its written so far. the music chart is gorgeous

the older phases had so many unsavory moments art-wise that i can't line it up to current stuff and wish it was the same as back then, which is probably why i accept "OOC" stuff. like i genuinely think noodle's depiction/description now is better than the early phases. even if the style/form speaks to me more with heavy lineart and grungy mood it was always uncomfortable with the racist depictions. a lot of the stuff surrounding russel seems to be literally interview or book only since i never heard of half of this shit, being a music video only and the occasional concert rip watcher.

so on cracker island story/lore... it does feel OOC. my brief snoop around what the internet feels aboit the album character-wise makes me think it's pointless to rehash why i think it's OOC, but it isn't to the point of ruin, not even close. the older phases 2D (ans the cast) still exists, he isn't a human being thank god and you can do whatever you want with him, it's not like real people who act different and will never be who they were years ago, all iterations of the gorillaz characters exist. they aren't linear characters either and they were never meant for a story with concrete/stable facts, so returning to a point or going to a different point isn't permanent, i kind of felt that was the point. i find it annoying, yes, but it's not damaging to the band as a whole to me so it's more of an annoyance than total destruction of gorillaz theme. on the disuse of characters like russel, that's more annoying to me tbh than 2D being a cutesy ditz

i wanted somewhere to dump all my thoughts after talking about it to friends and my brother, since, i've been 'into' gorillaz for so long, but never was seriously into the characters themselves, so reading all this stuff and falling into it is kind of fun. it's less aggravating to be in the middle of it years after years i bet. the reason this post might sound defensive is influenced by one convo i had where someone laid out all the band's marketing activity for this album which i found cringey, but not the end of the world. interesting because i think i just entered this 'fandom space' when people are gnashing over lore stuff. i think my cerebrospinal fluid is too lukewarm to get affronted aside from things like 'gee wish they kept russel's music appreciation, taxidermy interest, and eloquence'. if you couldn't tell i still like some of the themes of the older iterations!

you can argue that they lost the message of not being sanitized for the masses but... i feel like brand deals kind of impact that message wayyy more, and Do ya thang is one of my favorite tracks and that was to sell some damn shoes, Converse somehow literally still owns the rights to that (?!). plus, fan backlash over mentioning politics in Humanz means you can't really be surprised they're smoothing themselves down more in that department. at least, that's my perspective. my biggest wish is always that i want the creators of the music and owners of these characters to do what they want currently but, i guess i don't know how brands work and how flexible they can be

to wrap this stream of consciousness up, i will say i'm very easy to please music-wise, so there hasn't ever been gorillaz MUSIC where i felt was bad, yeah i'm one of those fans. i'm always ready to admit i'm biased from nostalgia as well as certain songs being released during crazy times of my life. it is difficult even rank my favorite albums because i feel like it's a disservice to put one below the other lol... i like The Fall. i like Humanz for an entirely different reason. my favorite song from gorillaz of all time is White Flag i could shout it from the top of a roof, but then i still like The Now Now as a whole album better than Plastic Beach. i genuinely tuned out to the entire band after Humanz because the backlash hallelujah money got made me so sad... oh what else... i cry so easily to gorillaz tracks. i can't get through TNN without tearing up. i want to make merch for myself since the store is difficult to purchase from and i want some stickers. ok that's all '_' !!! if you read this long/scrolled somehow then here

(and if you want to reply, i highly encourage it and im open minded to disagreements, i'm posting it in the main tag to get some feelers on opinions or discuss stuff. i'd be replying with my main blog)

[merotm-a]

  you know .... ever since i remade + switched from being t//wst main to fandomless i’ve had some things i wanted to get off my chest about it all. and i think i’m gonna do it now because it does affect my ability sometimes to get on and write on this blog. pls go ahead and blacklist ‘vent.’ if ur not interested in seeing this post but i just have had enough of thinking on it. 

  this is like a rpc callout tbh 

  for me, personally, i can’t enjoy the series or writing in the verse as much as i did before bc of things that go on in this rpc sometimes (not all the time or at least not that i’m aware of nor do i wanted to be made aware of more than i already know). 

  first of all, the division in this place is terrible for lack of a better term. if u end up being ostracized from one group you’ve essentially lost like half of the potential writing partners in this space. if this fandom were bigger, getting pushed out or cut off or what have you wouldn’t be so bad but it’s not a big fandom so it’s like ‘ oh well ’ if that happens. secondly - and idk if it’s just bc i only talk to like two or three people consistently enough so i’m out of the loop or whatever - the amount of ooc shit talking that goes on behind the scenes away from the public eye is frankly appalling. there is no reason why there are little groups dedicated to talking shit about other rpers in the fandom. if you have a problem with someone, you can go talk to them. 

  if you don’t like someone, just block them or blacklist their tag or whatever you need to do to have a peace of mind. that’s what i do when my mutuals interact with ppl i don’t like or i have blocked. i just move on. y’know, like a normal person. literally no excuse to be in dms saying awful things about people or making people feel shitty like they might get blocked just because they disagree with you on something or for whatever other silly little reason that may be ( like you just talk to someone they don’t like or have a problem with ). 

  why is there always this constant feeling of walking on egg shells ??? the tumblr rpc can be toxic; i know i’ve been here since like 2012. but this is on a different level since i’ve been on this platform. 

  regarding the pro vs. anti stuff that goes on in this rpc ( i literally never came into contact with this stuff much until i got here ). now, i am personally someone who adheres to the ‘you do you’ mentality. i have content i won’t write and that i wouldn’t be fine seeing from my mutuals hence why i either unfollow or block someone if they write said content; i leave people alone to write what they write. THAT ALL BEING SAID, this is a public platform, so when you write stuff that is publicly frowned upon, you really shouldn’t be that surprised when people have issues with it or give it attention bc, you know, you’re putting it out there. people being rightfully uncomfortable when you write sensitive subjects isn’t “”harassment”” and certainly doesn’t make you a victim. 

  on the flip side, i personally think that you can’t just jump to conclusions based on what someone writes right off the bat since quite a few of us also write for fandoms that are violent or have darker topics woven into the narrative and doing so can come across as being bad faith and lacking nuance. a lot of my evaluation is based on the intention of the writer ( why are you writing this ? are you doing it respectfully ? do you really HAVE to incorporate this into your character / story - if it’s original for an oc or hc for a canon ). frankly, if you’re writing downright terrible things because you get off on it then it shouldn’t come as a surprise that people will criticize or ostracize you; you’re not treating the subject matter with the appropriate time and respect it deserves. and not only that, instead of writing such a thing privately, by writing it on a public platform you are subjecting it to people who could potentially read it and judge it.

  saying that i support murder because i have a character that kills someone is downright stupid and it takes away any nuance in this line of thinking. 

  everyone does have a responsibility to curate their own space to navigate the internet as much as possible but they also have a responsibility to not subject others to unwarranted, unwanted and potentially triggering content ( either through having a proper tagging system or writing this stuff privately or on another website ). 

  the pressure to have labels in this rpc is dumb imo because they really don’t explain everything that person is thinking or what they actually support. you can be an ‘ anti ‘ but still be okay with writing a toxic dynamic between two characters provided it’s done right. you can be ‘ pro ‘ but not support certain things like CP or n*ncon. it’s dumb. it’s pointless. idk why this rpc is rampant with this issue in particular but it’s one of the main reasons that so much shit goes on. 

[obsidianvibranium]

💜 About Me

I love animals, memes, mental health positivity, and analyzing the media I consume. Marvel and cat stuff makes up about 85-90% of this blog’s content, so if either of those things is a point of contention, then this blog is not for you. However I am consistent in my tagging so you could block either if you wanted to.

I do read fanfiction for Marvel and I have an entire “side blog” for it: @violets-library. I also have a side-side blog where I keep my queue of fanfics I would like to read at some point, and where you can send me fic recs: @violetsreadinglist .

I also have another side blog which houses all of the things I like that aren’t (and which I probably enjoy more so than) marvel; that blog is @sleepingthestral

This blog is movies, tv shows, literature, music, history, language, memes, more animals, comedy, franchises (Harry Potter) and other stuff. I typically don’t post the same memes on both my main and this blog (unless its super important or super funny) so there is a difference in content.

If you would like to know more about me, check out the #about me tag.

💜 My Love/Hate Of MCU

As to why I hate Disney (as the company is now) is explained here, here, and here. The gist of it is that disney is a factory producing mediocre stories with characters that have great foundations but little to no meaningful development. Disney’s policies and actions as of late regarding its treatment of employees, as well as its blatant disregard for artistic respect and consistency, means that I refuse to give them any of my money and that includes paying for Disney plus or seeing the movies in theater. They are a consumerist organization that is only focused on money instead of being focused on telling important stories that will bridge the gaps between various cultures and societal groups.

That being said, Marvel, which is owned by Disney, fits that same consumerist, money-making profile and I loathe it. They have great foundations for these characters but they refuse to do anything to maintain consistency between the individual hero franchises and the avengers/group films. An example of this is the overall plot for Steve’s character in endgame, but I won’t get into the details of that argument here. Another example is their inability to recognize Bucky as a hero and not a villain, and another, their treatment of Sam Wilson since he became Captain America (i.e. there’s no mention of him in any of the latest projects. Hence, my love/hate relationship with the mcu: a love of the characters but a hatred of the plots and the writers’ inability to maintain character consistency (which is why I read fanfiction).

This is also why I rant about it all the time and try to show what the characters should be like; you can find these rants and writings HERE.

However, there are some good things they’ve done within the characters, though they are few and far between, and those things, in addition to fanart and gif sets, are what I reblog if I’m not ranting.

💜 Navigation

I am a huge proponent for spreading kindness and genuine positivity, and all the posts that fit under this umbrella are marked: #spread the love

↪️ #mental health #self love

↪️ #mutuals (my besties)

➡️ #taggame

➡️ #picrew

↪️ #support your content creators

↪️ #writing positivity

All of my posts about our fellow creatures will be marked #animals.

↪️ #cats #cat

➡️ #kittens #kitten

↪️ #dogs #dog

➡️ #puppies #puppy

↪️ #hedgehogs

↪️ #birds

➡️ #ducks

➡️ #owls

➡️ Et cetera…

↪️ #fox #foxes

↪️ #goat #goats

↪️ #otter #otters

Et cetera…

Inter-species friendships and photos will be tagged #besties

And all animal posts are typically delineated #cute or #funny, sometimes both.

SEASONAL TAGS

#autumn vibes

➡️ #halloween

#winter vibes

➡️ #christmas

#spring vibes

#summer vibes

OTHER TAGS

#absolute fuckery #hilarious

Random stuff that I found funny.

#iconic #an icon #bad bitch energy #the salt

People/characters/animals that I admire for their sass.

#words of wisdom

Words to live by.

#true shit #so true

The facts, Jack.

#super important #signal boost #psa

Everyone should read/see.

Warnings: #tw anxiety #tw depression #tw eating disorder #suicide mention #tw abuse

Please block these tags if any of these things are triggering to you.

Lastly, anything can be tagged with #that’s my queue, which just means that it’s been queued and I didn’t directly reblog it right then.

💜 Marvel Content Navigation.

[bl00dha1l]

drs baby!

MCU

Really this is my main dr. This is the one I'm most interested in and talk about the most!

It starts in 2012, during the battle of New York. I'm 23 and born in 1989 (taylor swift tease)

I'm a medical student, and a blast from the mind stone (literally during the battle) gives me my powers.

I'm literally just the scarlet witch like that's it. I love red I love witchcraft and had the scarlet witch not existed, I probably would've made up something similar.

Anyway my s/o is Steve Rogers.

I never really wanted to script a fame dr, but this one almost functions like one lol.

Star Wars

My name is Alyxys (Alyx) Astra Windu, hence my blog title lol

I'm born 36 BBY, making me 19 there. I'm the granddaughter of Mace Windu, and my dad has taken a place on the jedi council, so he can't train me anymore.

Enter Anakin Skywalker. He's my s/o in this dr, and he's not going to the dark side.

I'm of course a force user, and since I'm the main character I possess force lightning. It runs in my family and picks one person each generation.

The Last of Us

Set just after the first game. Born 2009 here, making me 25. I'm immune and talented with a bow. Raised by my brother who was a firefly alongside Tommy Miller, who had a hand in raising me as well.

I'm a medic and a surgeon for Jackson, Wyoming, where this dr is set. Joel Miller is aged down a few years to 45. He's my s/o here.

The fungus is instead a virus, and it's on its way out. A vaccine is being developed. The infected are less physically capable. Clickers and bloaters don't exist because omg I would not be able to handle that.

Anyways, thank you for reading!

have a beautiful day! 222 𖤐

[nowandfurever]

Welcome!

Welcome to Now and Furever, a side blog to @sugarthegecku for my furry art project story thing! Main lore:

Mary Rose, an older woman who runs a bakery (and occasionally makes hyperrealistic androids to help people cope with loss) lost her husband Rufus in an accident and was torn apart. She adopted a young aardvark named Sunspot to try to fill the void, but it didn't work. So she built an android of her late husband to form an approximation of her lost love.

This worked a little too well, and so her memories of the accident were repressed, leaving her with only a crippling agoraphobia. Sunspot was present for all of this, leading to him feeling anxiety around both his parents. He told the story to his closest friend, a young albino kangaroo who called herself Premonition, and her only response was "I know."

Premonition retracted into her bedroom, surrounded by hallucinations of the past, present, and future (hence her name.) She eventually met a fellow Seer from the future named Mouse Demon, her only friend during this time. She was later contacted by Sunspot's friend Lani, who led her out of the world in her mind and helped her reconnect with the outside world.

Thanks to this, Sunspot got it into his head that he can't tell this to anyone, leading him to not really talk all that often. Lani, took this into herself as an "Oh ok, who needs to talk when you can say nothing!" Her mother, a financially struggling hired hitman named Athena, is trying hard to connect to her daughter despite her career often getting in the way.

Mary Rose's most notable creation was Momo, a project she worked on in her free time- an extinct megalania stitched together from various reptile's shed skins. Momo, who was thought to not be sentient, was quickly bought by a circus.

Momo was eventually rescued by an android boomslang named Amaru. The two of them are currently plotting, trying to figure out what to do with themselves.

Magic lore: It is based on the three main senses, hearing (Lani,) sight (Premonition,) and feeling (Sunspot.) Seers can see across time as already established, Feelers can sense the repercussions of actions (for example they could warn you that having pancakes instead of waffles will cause world war III,) and Listeners can hear conversations from across the world. If all three get together, they can write down entire timelines.

Lani is the most experienced with her magic, although she seems to think it's normal and doesn't understand that others don't have her abilities.

Sunspot doesn't even know he has magic, he just thinks it's his instincts.

Premonition knows there's something wrong with her but she doesn't know what, the only solace she had for quite some time was her time-buddy Mouse Demon.

Lore bits that I don't know where else to put:

Mouse Demon is a Seer from the distant future, who can communicate with Premonition across time through writing or sign language (this is because Seeing only transmits sight, not sound or touch.) Mouse Demon is basically like if Premonition had a spren from the Stormlight Archive. They're from a race of evolved chihuahuas that took to the trees, becoming less intelligent (still sapient, just not that smart) but excellent hunters.

There's a high school rock band called Prism Streak chilling in the same town as Mary Rose and her family, their members being Diablo, the lead singer, Steel, the drummer, and Rico, the guitarist.

Diablo is in the process of trying to help a young vampire finch named Creeps be less, well, "creepy."

[samsgigb220]

Week 8

Workshop 6 Leftovers

I realised I forgot to include a play-testing section in last weeks blog post so I figured I'd include a short one here.

The main feedback I received was that being able to drive on the dirt on the road sides was far too safe as the player couldn't be damaged by the other cars if they were off the road.

Actual Week 8 Stuff

This week there was no assigned workshop task to be completed in class as we instead had to work on assignment 2, creating a One-Sheet and One-Page for a prototype game we would like to develop in GDevelop for assignment 3.

I decided I would like to further develop my Red Line Highway prototype into a more refined game. I chose it over the other two prototypes I made, as I have already made a game similar to the asteroids one outside of uni, and because my platformer was pretty bad.

Because I already had an elevator pitch prepared for Red Line Highway I already knew what info I would include in the page and sheet so I worked on some assets to use in them.

The first thing I made was a title / logo for the game as seen above, I wanted to have an eye catching logo that would interest people in my game, I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.

Next I made some basic cars to be used in the pages.

The car on the left is intended to be the boss enemy, hence the backwards facing guns on the back, with the car on the right being the player.

I plan on reusing some assets such as the road from the prototype in the one-page and sheet as they are pretty simple and unnecessary to replace.

[x-byte-info]

Blog Post 4: Project, analyzing brother.

The who?

In terms of talking about the people whom we love the most, the majority would go for our families, and that is also the case in this blog. I initially planned to write a blog about my friend, but the fear of giving less or even inaccurate assessment hit me like a train, which is why I considered having my brother as my subject instead. For context, I have two brothers; one younger and one older, but for this blog, I’ll be focusing on my younger brother, mainly because I can predict and analyze him more than the older one.

Things about him

To start off, I am three years older than my brother, and I am confident enough to talk about him starting from his childhood up until now because I was able to watch him grow. Growing up, he had been into a lot of serious health problems and had been confined multiple times. There were instances before wherein he'll be admitted to the hospital thrice a month because he was not getting any better. Because of that, my family, especially my mother, suspects that he might have not gotten over his experience yet, which is why bringing him to the hospital these days is hard. He doesn’t even want people to touch his cubital fossa (the part of the forearm where blood is usually extracted). My mom’s suspicion may be true because according to Maps (2016), children who have been hospitalized may develop some form of trauma that can still linger until they get discharged from the hospital. However, we are thankful that he’s all fine now and doesn’t need to visit the doctor often.

Tools to be used

In terms of his personality, there are a lot of contributing factors that make up who he is as a person that I can evaluate through various psychological analyzing tools. Although there can be tons of options available, I’ll mainly be using MBTI and Erik Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development to evaluate him and his views as an individual. 

What's your MBTI?

To start, MBTI or the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator formulated by mother and daughters Katharine Briggs and Isabel Briggs-Myers is a type of assessment that characterizes people in 16 categories based on their preferences through four main domains (Psychology Today, n.d.). As for my brother, his MBTI changed over time, although minimal changes were evident through the years. Back in 2019, when he was only 12 years old, he preferred being surrounded by people and he can even stay energetic till the event ends whenever we go to family gatherings. In addition, being outside with his small circle of friends was his stress reliever, and won’t even let a day pass without meeting them. These observations made me conclude that my brother was a massive extrovert, which by the way, can be proven by his ESTP MBTI before. 

MBTIs change???

In contrast, nowadays, we noticed that he started liking the concept of “me time”, in which he mostly used to do productive activities, such as watching movies or drawing. Before, he was always found in the living room, but now, most of his time was spent in his room. He doesn’t like being with his friend now as much as he liked it before. These days, his form of bonding time with his friends would be playing online games. I suspected that he might have been an introvert now and I was right because prior to my interview with him, I asked him to take the MBTI test again and it turns out that he is now leaning more toward the introverted side, with INTP being his new MBTI. I can’t point out what caused his sudden change of preference, but there can be two possible reasons why it occurred: 1)  During the middle of the pandemic, he got a glimpse of how being an introvert felt like and eventually get used to it, or 2) He is getting older, hence getting more introvert (Granneman, 2018). 

Unseen shift

Although I don’t see much difference in him despite shifting from being a sensor to an intuitive, I can sense that he has been more creative these past months than before. He became more artistic, which is where most of his time is devoted and became more fascinated with science, and innovation, one thing that didn't wake his interest that much before. These characteristics he is currently manifesting are traits that an intuitive person has (PsychReel, 2022).

Erick Erickson's Stages of Psychosocial Development

Moving on, the next psychological theory that I will utilize would be Erick Erickson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development. Erick Ericson’s theory of psychological development is a study that expands Sigmund Freud’s psychosexual theory. Since Freud mainly highlighted the importance of childhood in terms of our personality, Erickson, on the other hand, improved it and added the whole lifetime of a person as his category and shifted the biological focus to the psychosocial aspect. According to Erickson, each stage of life is vital to how we behave, not only childhood, which is why he revised Freud’s list and added three more stages to his theory.

Stages to remember

To explain further, Erickson’s theory is divided into eight stages, wherein each stage consists of a crisis to be solved in order to receive a positive or a negative outcome. In terms of my brother, since he hasn’t reached the early adulthood stage yet, I would not be able to fully utilize and provide analysis on every stage provided by Erickson.

Level 1: Trust vs. Mistrust

First, as for the first stage, also known as the birth to one year stage, the dilemma is Trust vs. Mistrust, which if not resolved, can lead to becoming anxious and fearful of one’s surroundings. Children of this age are unaware of their environment which is why constant support and provision are necessary to pass this stage. If the child succeeds in passing this stage, chances are they will develop hope and become optimistic (Mc Leod, 2018). I think my brother was able to pass this level positively. I can sense it based on his actions, not to mention that his mental state is perfectly fine, without any signs of anxiety or depression. During this stage, he was already experiencing a lot of health problems, which is why he was showered with consistent care.

Level 2: Autonomy Vs. Shame/ Doubt

However, since he was fragile during the first stage, my mom must have overdone it, leading to a negative result for his 2-3 years stage. Of course, I can’t blame my mom for not letting my brother do things on his own because of his health, but the effects of how she treated my brother manifested now that he is already in his adolescence stage. My mom was extra protective before, making my brother develop a great form of dependence on the process.

Level 3: Initiative vs. Guilt

Moreover, when it comes to the third stage, also known as the initiative vs. guilt stage, I think my brother manifests both traits. I am not quite sure if that is possible, but it is in his case. Since he is the youngest, looking for playmates, which is one of the vital factors in this stage, would not be a problem because he already has it through me and our other brother. To add, my mom had befriended some of his classmates’ moms, which again, adds up to the number of his potential playmates, leading to a wider range of chances for him to explore. He was pretty well given the opportunity to explore but was never allowed to get too adventurous due to his health conditions. There were restrictions set on him growing up, but he wasn’t discouraged to do things but was rather prohibited to do so. As a result, there are times in which he is thrilled to try new things, but there are also times in which he feels extremely cautious and takes his time to deliberate whether to do or not to do something.

Level 4: Industry vs. Inferiority

Furthermore, during his fourth stage of development, also known as industry vs. inferiority, I can say that my brother was able to receive tons of recognition. Being the older ones, we, pertaining to my older brother and I, was not allowed to criticize our younger brother. We were told by our mom that he may lose interest in doing things once he feels inferior compared to us. As her children, of course, we followed what she wanted us to do, making my younger brother a little self-centered. To add, since he seldom receives criticism growing up, mediocrity became his standard and he doesn’t give extra effort in doing things.

Level 5: Processing, Identity

Lastly, since he’s only turning 16, I may not be able to provide a stable conclusion on Erickson’s fifth stage of psychosocial development. However, one thing I noticed is that he currently knows himself pretty well and has established his own beliefs through the guidance of the people around him. Whenever we talk, I usually encourage him to know what he really wants and to establish and stand for his beliefs in life. Overall, I think he is on the right path through this stage.

To Conclude...

Analyzing people, especially the ones who are close to our hearts, is pretty fun. Not only do we learn more from this person, but we also discover how we influence them, whether positively or negatively. To add, since I was able to analyze my brother on a deeper level, this may be able to help me communicate with him more, for me to be hopefully a better influence on his journey as he grows up.

Sources:

Granneman, J. (2018, September 14). Yes, You Do Become More Introverted With Age... but even for extroverts, the shift is healthy and natural. Psychology today. Yes, You Do Become More Introverted With Age | Psychology Today

Maps, J. K. (n.d.). Kids can be traumatized by hospital stays, research shows. Pscyhlopedia. Kids can be traumatised by hospital stays, research shows | Psychlopaedia

Mcleod, S. (2018). Erik Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development. SimplyPsychology. Erik Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development (nami.org)

Maps, J. K. (n.d.). Kids can be traumatized by hospital stays, research shows. Pscyhlopedia. Kids can be traumatised by hospital stays, research shows | Psychlopaedia

Mcleod, S. (2018). Erik Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development. SimplyPsychology. Erik Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development (nami.org)

Psychology Today. (n.d). Myers-Briggs. Myers-Briggs | Psychology Today

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