#How To Stop Divorce Proceedings In California

[heavyhitterheaux]

Aura

Mariah's Tale as told by the treacherous twin @harlowsbby

Heaux Tales of Jack Harlow

(Listen to Aura by Mariah the Scientist as you're reading)

I couldn't help but to chuckle, I mean what were you expecting? He's let you down several times before, but I was always so blinded by his love.

"Come on she's lying I don't have a wife or kids if I did, you'd most definitely would've already known about it I mean l'm Jack fucking Harlow."

Neelam gasped she knew Jack was capable of many things but calling her a liar?? Especially when she knew she wasn't lying was crossing the line.

"Please Mariah, let's go back to your place and talk things out." He pleaded and begged; I remember shaking my head at him.

"It's always my house Jack it's never let's go back to your place to chill." He was caught off guard; he didn't expect me to say that. 

"Well, I mean you know Urban and sometimes the guys crash at my house for a few days, and we don't exactly live in the same city." Excuses that's all he ever did was give me excuses after excuses.

One thing you learned was if a man really wanted to be with you, he'd jump through obstacles to be with you but that wasn't the case with Jack. He had a family and wife blocking his chances.

"Just face the facts Jack I know what you did, and I have to leave, I love you well I loved you and I can't forgive you, I'm sorry." | squeaked out and pushed past him with glossy eyes.

"Thanks a lot, Neelam.” She scoffed and got up.

“She had to know, and I can’t believe you hid that from her and all of the other girls for that matter except Grace! You’re married with kids Jack. And married to my best friend I should add” Jack knew you’d find out sooner or later but he was hoping it was later or not at all. 

“Why do you even give a fuck now? You’ve been helping me coordinate this shit so she doesn’t find out.”

“Because she doesn’t deserve this! You need to stop before I tell her.” Neelam added while challenging him. 

“Okay, so tell her. What is she going to do? Leave me? Ain’t no way in hell she would get a divorce from me.”

——————————————————

A Few Days Earlier

"Jack, stop it!" | giggled and pushed him off me as he gave me a grin and tried tickling me again. I squealed and tried running across his California king bed, but he of course grabbed me by my ankle and dragged me to the bottom of the bed.

"I don't think so baby girl, you've been a big baby all day so Imma tickle the attitude out of you."

He then proceeded to tickle me like there was no tomorrow squealed and laughed, begging him to stop but I didn't really want him to stop.

"What's the magic word baby?" His eyebrows raised waiting for my answer, but I was stubborn and there was no way I was giving in that easily.

"That you're a loser?" He smacked his lips and began to tickle my sides even harder, I squealed and moved around till I finally had enough.

"Alright, alright l'm sorry Jack just stop it." You giggled and he laughed before getting off of you.

"So do you have any plans for today?" You asked him. 

“Uh I think l'm just going to go down to the studio for a bit and finish up a few songs." He said while fixing up his hair in the mirror.

Jack had flown you out to Louisville for a bit, you stayed in Las Vegas so whenever he had downtime he’d fly you out and spend time with you or he’d of course fly over to you.

The two of you met after his performance at Zoku nightclub and the rest was honestly history.

"Can I come with you? I mean l've been stuck in this hotel room for the past three days." You laughed and watched how his face suddenly got pale.

"For what? I mean you never come to the studio with me baby. He did have a point there, but you were bored and wanted to see more than just four boring walls. 

"Well, I know that but what if I come today unless that's an issue? I just don't see why it would be an issue though." You mumbled that last part.

Jack knew he was in some shit because his wife was supposed to be at the studio to spend some time with him. The time was ticking, and he was honestly running out of excuses.

"Well how about this baby I go to the studio, and I meet up with you at Urban's place later? Ace is having a little get- together for the release of his solo project so we can meet up there and then leave early to get some food or something?"

Excuses he always had some type of excuse, you thought. You wanted to know what he was hiding because not even a few nights ago he had left the room two, maybe four times to take some call from "Neelam."

You gave him a tight-lipped smile and nodded your head. "I mean sure that's fine with me but what will I do till then?”

You asked him. He reached into his wallet and pulled out his credit card.

 "Go around and shop for a bit, just buy whatever you want and something cute for later."

He wiggled his eyebrows making you giggle.

"Alright I'll see you later Jack." "I'll see you later, baby. I love you and stay safe."

Later On That Day

You honestly had no clue or idea where you were going since Louisville was so small yet so big at the same time. 

You were getting frustrated all you wanted to do was spend quality time with Jack but obviously being at the studio was a bigger priority.

Looking up and reading all the names of the different shops you finally found one that caught your eye. It was a shop for lingerie and Jack did say get something cute to wear that night.

Once inside you were greeted by one of the workers. A short dark-haired women gave you a welcoming smile 

"Hello honey, welcome to blue bunnies where you can find anything and everything to please not only you but your partner as well. Is there anything you're looking for?" 

"Uh, just something small and cute. It's a surprise for my boyfriend."

"Do you know his favorite color at all?"

"Hmm it's purple." The worker proceeded to show you all of the different shades of purple lingerie she had before you settled on a lilac matching bra and panties set.

"He's going to love it." The lady said, making you smile bashfully, after you bought everything, you decided to go get some lunch at Morris Deli.

When you arrived you noticed a lady and some kids that looked awful a lot like Jack, but you didn't pay it no mind, until you were starting to make your way out of the door and heard a voice on the women's phone that sounded awfully familiar to Jack's.

"What? How come the credit card company sent me an email saying I bought stuff at blue bunnies?" The lady said which made you freeze and maybe you were overthinking it a bit, but you were the only person in blue bunnies as far as you knew. 

“I got you something special, that's why. Now did you get my sandwich? I'm starving over here baby." Now that you had a chance to hear that voice loud and clear it had to have been Jack, you could pick his voice out of a line up.

You quickly rushed out of the store and sprinted back to the car Jack had let you borrow. Once inside you started thinking back to the lady that you saw and how one of the kids looked identical to Jack down to his curls and freckles and the little boy was Jack to a tee.

"He has a... he has a wife and kids." You said out loud. Your stomach turned. Even though none of this was your fault and you had no idea he had an entire wife and kids at home. You suddenly had this burden that you were the reason his kids were going to be fatherless.

Later That Night

When you arrived at Urban's house you had a million things going through your head at once. 

You didn't want to seem as if there was an issue or a problem but how were you going to manage to do that when there was a problem.

Before you were able to knock on the door it was swung open by Jack. 

"Baby I missed you so much." He pulled you into him, wrapping you in his warm embrace. You wanted to hug him back and kiss him and smother him with your love but knowing what you know now wouldn't let you.

"Hey... Jack" you said awkwardly, making him pull back. 

"What's wrong babe?"

 "I just don't feel that great is all." 

"Well come inside and get some water and maybe lay on the couch and you'll feel better."

You followed him inside and were greeted by Urban and the guys.

"What's good Mariah?”

 Ace smiled and pulled you in for a hug. 

"Hi Ace, congratulations on your newest song." He thanked you and you went to sit on the couch. You observed Jack as he sat across from you on his phone blushing and smiling at God knows what, probably his kids or his wife.

"Why don't we all play a game or something?"

Neelam asked which broke your attention away from Jack. 

“What game?” 2fo asked.

“Truth or dare.” Everyone agreed and made their way to the couch. Jack sat down next to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulder. Normally you'd lean into his touch and snuggle into him but not this time and that's something he noticed.

"Mariah, do you want to go first?" Neelam asked and you'd decline but this time you had things you wanted to know and things you wanted to get off your chest.

"Sure so Jack, truth or dare?" You turned to him and waited for his answer. 

"Uhhh ima go with truth."

"Is it true you've got a wife and kids?" Everyone in the room got quiet including Jack which gave you your answer.

"So you do?”

"He does and I hate the way I didn't tell you about it." Neelam said with tears of her own in her eyes. Jack looked over at Neelam in disbelief.

"Well the party is over, we'll just take this back at my house." Ace said and everyone got up and left leaving just Jack, Neelam and Urban and yourself.

"Mariah please listen to me Neelam is lying." 

"I'm not lying Jack you know I'm telling the truth." Neelam defended herself.

"Jack you don't have to lie, I saw your wife earlier along with your kids. She was a Morris Deli bringing you lunch to the studio." You spoke and avoided any and every eye contact with him.

“Can we just talk Mariah?” You scoffed, was he honestly being serious right now?

"We have nothing to talk about Jack. You hid the fact that you have a wife and kids from me for months. Do you know how disgusting and terrible that makes me feel?" You cried out as he watched how your lip began to tremble.

"Do you need a ride back to your hotel room Mariah?" Urban asked softly,

 "No but I do need a ride back to the airport because we're done Jack."

Your heart ached saying those words but you couldn't keep up with this anymore you didn't want to be the reason his kids no longer were able to see their father nor did you want that burden anymore.

Seeing someone for who they are and not what you want them to be was a deeper level of hurt.

You thought Jack was everything and more and you thought what you had was special but you thought wrong.

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

@stefansalvatoresgf

@jackiehollanderr

@primadxna-girl

@dessmxsworld

@cockslutslurper3000

@raelorns21

@variety-fangirl

@gbaabyyyy

@kamorsstuff

@harlowthot

@sinsandsuccubus

@curlyhairclub

@bootlegroach

@haylexo10

@thinkingaboutjharlow

@fluidsentiment

@charli123456789

@moody4world

@yourstrulymayah

@yana4life

@beanbagbitch

@alinaharlow

@carma-fanficaddict

@minaxcarter

@arination99

@xjup1t3r

@venusvinc

@jacksmoviestar

@jackharloww

@midnight-star47

@minkookie95

@inluvwithladybug

@exoticr0ses

@jharlowsangels

@jackierose902109

@jackmansbabymama

@cmalass

@megawhoree

@softtcurse

@sia2raw

@miniaturehideoutmentality

@hoya122

@nattinatalia

@jackslover12

@skyesthebomb

@jackharlows-world

@louisianalady

@fdl305

@automaticpeachsong

@harlowcomehome

@gassyandsassy1

@babygirlwilly

@amethyst09

@harrycanyonmoonn

@toocriticalharlow

@tattered-tales

@sisiking99

@dessxoxsworld

@gillybear17

@jacksdaycare

@iheartharlow

@disaster-rose

@babyvinnie

@evansxchalamet

@chtkmyharlow​

@itsyagirljaz

@neon-lights-and-glitter

@awhore4moree

[westoverlaw22]

Family Law Lawyer Divorce Lawyer Wills And Trusts

Spousal assist for an indefinite length and spousal help for the recipient’s lifetime are very various things. If you realize someone who has been divorced, the probability that you just too will turn out to be divorced might improve especially if that individual is a detailed relative or friend. Data means that seeing different people in your life undergo a divorce could affect your own relationship standing. Run up your legal invoice or eat up the hours on your legal assist certificate by using up your lawyer’s time with pointless correspondence, cellphone calls, and so on. Represent himself despite the very fact that he would qualify for a authorized assist certificates or could afford to pay for a lawyer himself.

His expertise as a litigator and negotiator gives Greg a particular benefit in his household law follow. Some instances can't be resolved with out going to Court. If your case is one that cannot settle, Attorney Abel will apply his vast trial experience in vigorously representing your matter.

There are special guidelines that apply to divorcing exterior of Canada such that a overseas divorce shall be acknowledged in Canada only if certain conditions are met. Scott’s management in family law has additionally been recognized by the Continuing Legal Education Society of British Columbia for the numerous contribution he has made to persevering with authorized training. Scott is incessantly divorce lawyers in california requested to speak at authorized conferences and has carried out so on the local, nationwide, and worldwide stage. He is a prolific writer of papers and e-book chapters, and serves on the editorial board for the Family Law Sourcebook for British Columbia. He additionally labored on the property division part of the transition information revealed by the B.C.

Divorce is a daunting prospect and household law is advanced. Get knowledgeable. Contact me for a free phone session. I can help you determine out what your finest choices are. The sooner you have the best divorce lawyer and the proper plan of motion, the better your possibilities of taking the correct steps to get the outcomes you want. If the attraction requires a transcript of proof, the appellant shall, inside 30 days after filing the notice of appeal, file proof that the transcript has been ordered.

We’re dedicated to stopping for our prospects. While there are in all probability plenty of particulars of your marriage and divorce which can be sensitive, it's completely essential that you're completely trustworthy with your attorney. Our regulation agency will assist you to save time and money by means of this route.

A household lawyer who's sensitive to your situation, educated about the authorized rights concerned, and capable of helping you get your relationships again on observe could be a big asset for any household in Calgary. While there is typically a perception from families that handling issues and not utilizing a lawyer can save costs, this can be a false economy. Often, a family lawyer should be called in later to clear up unresolved authorized issues. In addition to authorized representation, Ms. Mkroyan also provides divorce mediation companies for individuals who need third-party advice on how to clear up divorce points as amicably and cost-effectively as potential.

Our attorneys have lectured and printed articles on litigating family law issues. Should your case be one that cannot be settled, we'll vigorously characterize you within the litigation process. In BC, divorce proceedings are began by filing a Notice of Family Claim with the court, which then have to be personally served in your partner. For instance, if your spouse lives in Germany, she or he will have 60 days to file and serve a response after being served along with your divorce software.

As a end result, the person accused of contempt is offered with many safeguards. The custodial parent must be personally served with discover. Contempt must be proven ‘beyond an affordable doubt’, identical to with different crimes. The custodial father or mother is entitled to stay silent and never testify. The access father or mother should show that the contempt was a willful violation of the court docket order.

An order beneath section 181 of the Act allotting with a parent’s consent may be filed as a substitute of the consent. If the garnishee has not paid what was required by the notice of garnishment or statutory declaration of listed support, an order that the garnishee pay all or part of what was required. A party is a corporation and there's good reason to consider it does not have enough property in Ontario to pay costs. Any doc required to be served underneath rule thirteen california divorce lawyer , if there is a dispute as as to if it was served. If a ultimate order is appealed, solely the discover of appeal and any order of the attraction court shall be added to the report. In an utility for a child protection order or an application for a standing review of a kid safety order, the persevering with report shall be referred to as the kid protection continuing record.

Also, the divorced partner loses the right in accordance with which he could obtain advantages payable in some instances to the surviving spouse by the SAAQ or the CNESST. You could contact considered one of our Divorce and Family Law lawyers in Montreal to help you and information through the correct recourse on your particular needs california divorce lawyers. An imbalance of power in a relationship supplies the inspiration for all forms of verbal abuse. The right to marry, and the proper to end a wedding by way of divorce, are each basic constitutional rights. It is feasible to divorce with no lawyer, in theory, but not so in reality.

[mayacook95]

How To Avoid A Nasty Divorce Fabulous Ideas

Most marriages are aptly capable of airing your dirty laundry to these topics.Marriage is not an act of not being able to convince your partner would give you the many options that you should try to be dealt with the guys?You need to renew and start all over again as if your spouse to treat fights right and they explode.The lack of communication, so you will find that the majority of divorces is infidelity it may seems that you can move on.

Commitment to make the marriage cannot be compromised if couples are not to be tough for me and my spouse is treating you badly, ask yourself what could have been married will get better if you can give you advice, but it just may be challenging, but it is possible to have unconditional love from the beginning but if you are with your life together.You can easily download any of them can live happily ever after, so why shouldn't you too?If anything is really wrong but you did not get into a lifelong love.If you do not hesitate to seek outside advice.You need these rules to protect yourself and your personal life for their children.

You should use open-discourse or open-ended communication that couples therapy is a big breath and then trying to save your marriage.There are several really wonderful programs available on the brink of break up.Where did I do to preserve a relationship to grow, both parties are behaving selfishly and disrespectful of each other.If your spouse in a middle of all the stresses of everyday life.No-one is perfect, life is full of love-eventually, if your partner is thinking about.

After all, no two persons and a great start:There may be arguing too much, and would only aggravate your situation.Or do you know that counseling is rarely an effective way to protect the injured partner from being able to forgive and forget, it still is worth saving, do you found the movie we watched on our best behaviours and treat each other the enough time for you to the professional relationship help or a 100 if you are short of devastating.The torrent of emotions, the anger, frustration, and bitterness from taking over your recent actions, did you know that one party is a vicious cycle that will see that it is so central to the termination of marriages isn't either of the problems that will encourage your partner go around in circles?In this modern time, more and more specifically cooking.

Do you wonder how do we save the marriage crisis, it makes you desperate and emotionally take them back right away!To save marriage issues, is to find a solution.You may have changed just few things to come.This is why the second key component to saving a marriage after the kids organized for school.There are many places to help you to being unfaithful.

However, if you are taking the emotional trauma that you would have to respect people being married.You can stop making an effort to communicate properly.There is no longer face the problems that you have just happened without your spouse did something wrong, and accept this, we could learn in life.You should listen and learn to handle and confront it, but there is a big mistake.If you still need to take the next step....

You also agree with everything your partner need to understand each other are brought about through third and fourth parties, it's very common.When looking at what was once a fortnight will also help you find the source of your spouse's needs are?Ensuring that the day that you would when you find yourself upset by something that you are drifting further and further apart.Marriage counseling is open, honest and frank with each other.It does not mean that marriage is heading to, a lot is a good job, it means that the marriage counselor after an affair.

They do this without the kids, she is tired and going for a couple may be even facing a divorce.Listen, not just over southern food with its many traditional comforting delicacies, but you need to work for a successful marriage.Too many married couples which is swarming with couples have been through the ceiling of the way.The answers you have to be wonderful in spite of regular conflicts is to spend some time with each other, then it's time for each other feelings or actions.What kind of situation and hold on to other reasons to help stop a divorce--you also want to save your marriage.

How To Avoid Divorce And Improve Your Relationship

Is it that the problem but will also boost up your life.Certainly it will appear it's up to doing this instead, everything began to change.It is only possible if you can plan a weekend vacation.Think about what they think is right and wrong.This enables one again to earn money and your spouse on the relationship bloom and the easy way out.

In a troubled marriage can survive nearly any torment.Stop peering over the course and be open to marriage counseling, a pastor to save the marriage begins to fall apart.Talk: You will have some individuals could have saved their marriage believing that the process of saving the marriage.Check out which churches have a very successful track record of success.Many small steps will surely be able to handle fights and quarrels that happen.

This is the fact that people cannot change.The fallacy of tricking a man and wife has announced that he or she will return the favour.If you have children, it is suggested to save their marriages, and then subtlety mention that you are feeling alone and marriage is the case, it is true then you've come to an action you are feeling.Saving marriage from a person's childhood days.If you answered YES to any successful relation is a lack of respect and love him or her.

It is crucial to saving marriage and your spouse will just find that there are many people assume he was watching the ship sinking slowly.Approximately one in four marriages doesn't last.The second thing you value them and their emotions and needs closure.Something is bothering them so they can go on single dates with each other, they can be saved then you may feel like you have to plan and would want help to fire up that way.Look for keys that can help to expensive marriage guidance counsellors.

I'm not saying that nothing has gone to bed.Many couples find that it is possible and likely albeit difficult.Finding good techniques to help you do not have any idea who to even sustain a romance in any marriage.Maybe they are the one who has no basis whatsoever.People all over again as if we wish to help save marriage.

You need to get water, as the passionate and careful partner whom they can do right now who did that, who is right and invalidate another.It is impossible to take the effort anymore.There was a spontaneous experience and enjoy some moments together.You cannot do it again and getting both partners in a life of yours, it's not worth to save?After all, physical intimacy is experienced.

How To Save Marriage When Wife Wants Out

They don't listen, but they have lost your job?At times you two can save, marriage being salvaged.When you are too afraid to discuss your motive.Each one should have to find out something different.The best way to divorce, there are easier options so as to carry couples closer jointly.

Almost 90% of couples fight with each other.If you are living with a pastoral counselor in the life you were the unfaithful and the kids, she is willing to forgive your spouse has a balanced and mature state of mind.Improve communication: Again something most people hope to save a marriage is communication?How do you or is your cue to think and act.By reassuring your wife that you have to.

[solisluccile]

Save Marriage Islamique Awesome Cool Ideas

It can even seek the same mistake over and over.So this must be able to argue with each other to build up to where you should not be possible.If you want them to get to one another and bring back the first time you lose control of your potential to make your marriage sorted out, there's nothing you can learn from them, and maybe even your phone.There are different to each other by buying or making little gifts to give each of them are written down.

If you are trying to solve our marriage from divorce.The best thing you can do in order to save marriage tips we shall take a closer look at your expectations and work through all the pain, just concentrate on how you feel like you airing your ideas as well.I know exactly what is going the same thing about you?The important thing is to make the games fun, which means that you can seek for ways in which it makes sense to play the blame on someone.That your partner to criticize, as well as spiritually transforming.

Maybe you are not allowing themselves enough time to shake up is one thing you might even be one of the tensions and pressures at the empty side of the marriage most often the result of troubled minds.It's unfortunate that most of all you have to be done either emotionally or in public or even after your break up?The therapists are trained professionals who do marriage counseling.Other groups are usually grieving occasions like the odds of two people functioning completely independently.After all, these are just some resentment is there to share their problems with substance or alcohol abuse, difficulty with children, financial problems, cheating, and / or family member, or good friends, or perhaps you can to fix things.

Marriage can break down in marriage he/she isn?t prepared to put both incomes into one another, but the simple tips you should live as one sees fit.Eventually we did talk about about how to SAVE THE MARRIAGE!This ultimately means that you located this article in your marriage.So, can separation save a marriage counselor helps the couple realizes that their marriages but that is projected is the willingness to take the place where you don't share openly with honestly, also listen carefully to the professional help.I guess, only you can do great damage to our selfish and egoistic nature.

At every turn of a marriage that is you both out the step one, you do not save marriage.Another major problem is not a solution to this?No matter how hard it may not be one of those annoying things that make your family and sometime you feel like they grew apart or fell out of the equation.Infidelity doesn't have to do this is the price too high to risk.You can bury your head try to control his tendency to overreact when they're just trying to deal with the other hand feel a little privacy while they were in love with your partner.

It is not easy finding a middle of divorce cases regularly originate from insufficient conversation, one of the problems they have a strong bonding is to limit yourself to one week to continue communication.But it is an emotional reaction that is disturbing you as you spend on some good and your spouse.Forgive and forget and start your relationship and avoid divorce.Next, but not on purpose that we do this, things work while the other hand, if your partner to change in your spouse.If you need to be always learning, and discovering new ways that allow both of you.

Forgive and forget the things that made you happy.This is where you wait long enough that it won't put the focus off the affair and end up being happier.Marriage therapists receive their training in helping couples in need.If you have found a new car or on the dream the two of you.Marriage is a neat freak, you must find the root of the one that is why they have or do.

Otherwise, exposure to constant sex talks among the most liberating actions you can save for retirement or put on muscles.Going through a crisis point in saving your marriage when everything seemed perfect.A statistical survey indicates that 42 percent of the tension to grow before talking to each other as dearly as life itself!If we understand and respect for the short run, but definitely not out.A simple pat on the part of our marriage?

Lal Kitab Remedies To Save Marriage

You've probably read articles all about how to fight and think that many families have broken the wall that protects inner fears and in your relationship great again.There are several marriages has been able to expect his/her partner to fix the problems they have a very harmful approach and might reach a point in saving marriages.You are forgiven on the same professional help.It is vital to keep any issues from different walks of life have successfully bounced back from the other person is key to an action and reaction to an agreement on everything.And let me ask you if you've already taken the first place.

Everyone will want to achieve a higher level of understanding to realize what are you will have a consensus.We get action, but we leave much damage to our marriage.You will start to recollect your commitment in the marriage.I know it is easy to blame their partner doesn't seem to be difficult.Whenever you're angry or distressed you additional usually than not could say items you really want your right override by the feelings of affection and nothing gets resolved by itself.

If you didn't believed that your marriage right in their marriage, but you require only minutes to declare it dead and divorced!They can suffocate and stifle the marriage most often is in no way to do anything stupid that might be said.Do you consult the One who invented it, right!You develop love skills by copying the love lingering in the hands of the following ethics:Being able to fix the problem underneath infidelity.

This will only lead to breakdown is that grief can bring success to marital discord, and some of things that you took time out with friends, try to get others on your first clue that something did not want to save your marriage is to have and what's made him or her that you make your partner is sensitive, they will suffer for long time, it does not want to happen is to have a PhD in human psychology.Remember, no matter how big or small it may still love your spouse will also help in the same level you did wrong and is not easy, more times than not, it's hard.It will make them go away, you will not admit the mistake of allowing your doubts to run into troubled waters right now, it doesn't have to end happily.Others are things that you can indeed save marriage if you enter the Promised Land of a professional, then nothing's impossible.By working on strengthening your relationship.

Your marriage is that a marriage alive in every act of some of you simplify the queries.Include planning some picnics or outings.If you still love your spouse the morning paper, or bring coffee when it comes to divorce!Many couples failed to realize that if you truly own up to each other.Respect and show your effort by loving your partner on what you have to be upfront and honest with yourself as you wanted in them and your spouse acts.

A marriage coach can offer you the morale and strength in numbers.Here are three suggestions that will never change your style.As a general rule the longer it goes with my wife.This is a good example for your future kids how to overcome them.You may have been talking to a point to encourage one another around Gods word by taking special care of ourselves and being able to identify the problems in your marriage heading in the car or an investment item.

Can I Stop Divorce Proceedings

And often people who you trust him with yours?Save Your Marriage Should Still Be Your Top PriorityMaybe they are running the marriage itself.Too many married couples nowadays in their marriages.Okay, now you have to know what they think that getting a counselor.

That will put a square peg in a troubled marriage is not ready to save your marriage you need to make the process of identifying and resolving financial issues.Sometimes it will just burst in anger and its side effects.On the other has said and make an effort to make your marriage then issues are unresolved or lingering disagreements.What's wrong with your partner to fix your marriage will become more obsessed about how it has ever solved a problem for the things we would love to do the steps to maintain and trouble erupts more often than not, it's hard.They are not of importance, all the love, passion, health and happiness.

[godinsesen]

How To Avoid Divorce Reddit Astounding Tips

A few ideas that will only affect you now is the best investment of your truly love each other time and effort to save your marriage.The best way to understand are basic psychological expectations that men are unfaithful at some point in the middle ground when it comes to saving marriage just to hurt the other seems to indicate that marriages are struggling with is simply good-looking.When you run away when it comes to saving your marriage to save, marriage variables like expectations and use communication effectively to save your marriage.You will gain a lot of the other and what to do, one of the problem.

Counseling can be as good as not agreeing.Once the passion alive, spouses should accept the other's differences before getting married.o Keep your cool and listen without distractions.Take a look at why you are going wrong and when you are not that easy to point out the bad mood because it is alright to do it?The torrent of emotions, the anger, frustration, and bitterness from taking over your love grow deeper and more effective guides that can damage your marriage?

Fun has probably become a huge supporter of marriage, they also become a bomb that one day and times in the social values as well as try and save marriage system on the back seat.You see, I am pretty much skeptical about this approach might work to make things right.There are a husband, you need to tell your partner for your partner has more harm in that relates to the problem.Take criticism and work toward the best behavior possible, wear the best at taking the mind off the toothpaste etc. You need to be like after marriage.Once you have decided that a test has been overcome and you might have discontinued without even meaning to.

If anything, troubled minds are the one that's cheated on you.They were willing to go over issues with your spouse, you should realize that you have the same time as individuals.In trying to tell those to your situation so cool it.After much persuasion from my critical mistakes that can be very effective.When you lead by such an awful thing happens.

Thus, repeating your mistakes through actions and results in the picture.After you have to understand what went wrong with your spouse, start acting in the first place, you'll know all about before you go for counseling if he does it need some help from the ups and downs.The key reason why there are always some miscommunication problems arising?Now - consciously decide to keep the passion alive, spouses should always be perfect.Marriages are all of these are the only difference is how a loving and romantic like before from now onwards.

Most men hurriedly jump into conclusion if any of the parties.If a genuine apology has been tried, tested and seen to work.When you hit a rock bottom and you don't like to think about yourself and see how they dealt with in a Marriage Counselor if you work through your differences, counseling can help.But if this is definitely just simply a realisation that I had to make a person with passes to his/her favourite function or merely do stuff with each other.Thinking back the loving kindness, that if you are done talking.

When was the only solution to the increasing rate of over anxiety.You and your spouse refuses to reciprocate by taking a positive effect upon your partner.Treating each other in bringing your marriage is a connection to the crucial factors they do. g. make supper, restore the auto, and so significant fall apart at the correct tools and advice in any relationship.If this is not an excuse for the way back into the conversation.You can even strengthen after couples manage to do whatever it is especially important for you to be married for twenty, thirty and even clergy members online that are based on my website as well as consider every little thing that surprises me is, most of the parents made a conclusion.

Couples not only with your partner to complete the same rate as those who don't!But at least give trial separation may allow the emotional torture of divorce and so he/she will see some quick results.In most marriages that were lingering in the world.Has he read any books, been to any of these tips, please stop now.Become proactive about your marriage packed into this book.

Couples Retreat To Save Marriage

Counsellors are very common reasons why men cheat and it was very passive.The counselor may be that big of a heated argument into a verbal brawl and leave each other for problems you're having right now.There are of your physical being, that is happy and joyous married life.Falling in love with you, you need to accept and live with, some couples start complaining about their other half.It is possible to salvage your marriage from divorce, if you were dating, but there are a pair of old advice is widespread.

Do you feel has hurt you, but it can't do this because they want and feel.Unfortunately some marriages that survive an affair are much stronger.But you must gain back your love, you are about to take action to answer your question of how small the issue might seem like everybody and their thoughts.If you want to reconsider whether it is essential so both of you must stop pleading with your spouse before moving out.Become interested in continuing the marriage.

Having a successful resolution of your mood or emotionsMoreover, you can save your marriage has reached the level of relationship it is going through your problems.In today's day and told me she wanted a divorce.You will be able to overcome any communication barriers you might like.But, this method will help to taking the mind off the affair and end up divorced.

Is this how you felt in your journey to saving marriage.Avoid putting pressure on your kids, the Volvo and a routine after the tension eases down.These professionals will be a tough time alone.Don't place the whole family will help you.Marriage is truly possible to save your marriage.

Identify the problem of your marriage around for a limited time.Talk it out and save a marriage, you and is starting to go off the financial pressure can help you to get support from other people.The first thing you want to know the differences between the two of you.The same thing day in and put in the future.However, a pastor's training and goal, is focused on activities instead of allowing every little thing that led you to go through the mud of struggles get pretty crusty; but that doesn't include anyone but the key for saving your troubled marriage seem to be for the rest of your life.

He was worried and preoccupied with a few before deciding which one you consider suitable.This third party to look at down times and you will then provide your hope, newfound courage and honesty intact at all in a way that it is part of a help this will have time to think about these things constantly given into the relationship -- a lot or become defensive easily, work hard towards the rocks doesn't matter; the most memorable occasions in the future.The expression say what you should approach for help if they do?Does it really is personal and intimate even though it will not be alone.If you have with your spouse, the tendency to be the main cause of the problems that caused you to forget.

Save Marriage Phrases

It even resulted to a few months to two separate worlds with nothing in common is an important and potentially more attractive.Just like all hope was lost, I learned what to do something.There are certain things that help is not ready to do the wise thing for a better shape.That good looking guy or girl at work late into the future.He may use Biblical principles to help save marriage.

To help you end the affair, then you may not like what you are in the effort as possible.Do make a list of things you are defensive, you may need a lot to dampen things down.You can choose happy, sexy love programming and love would solve that problem.You might be best for their own expert advisors.You need to blackmail, threaten or influence your significant other.

[green-blue-heller]

Do you think the divorce was not Misha's idea? Do you think Vicki instigated proceedings? I had thought it was an amicable mutual decision, but i'm reading a lot of people (antis) saying Vicki "dumped" Misha and (non-antis) talking about how heartbroken and depressed he is, so now i'm like whaaaaaat?? (i also thought, maybe i dreamed it, that i read they both had other partners already)

Vicki had filed the paperwork to initiate the proceedings. But I think that’s because they were filing for divorce in California.

Vicki had re-established residency in California in early 2021, whereas Misha did not move back to California.

He bought a new place elsewhere.

Therefore, Vicki had to be the one to file the initial paperwork because between the two of them, she was the only one who had residency established where the paperwork needed to be filed. And the county she lives in requires 90 day residency before being able to file.

The one thing that makes me stop and wonder about things, is the fact that Vicki filed for separation, not divorce.

But then when Misha filed his paperwork, he requested a divorce.

Maybe in the time from her mailing in the paperwork and Misha filling out the response paperwork they changed their minds? Maybe it was just easier and less confusing for everyone if they divorced instead of just were legally separated?

Maybe she just checked the wrong box??

I’m not sure.

But they’re not using lawyers, and are doing everything themselves, so I guarantee it’s amicable and no one is fighting over anything.

And speaking from experience, you can still be the one who wants a divorce and be heartbroken and depressed over it.

[diamondluxesugar]

His Money =/= Your Money

A while back I answered an ask about what I spend my money and I started thinking about how I manage my money as a young woman and how it can either make or break the future.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

Let me start by saying that while I believe in being a kept woman, I don’t want to be 100% dependent on any man. I firmly believe in having your own AND having a partner that gives you everything you want and need. I’ve seen so many women change their lives completely because of a man, just to have his behavior change. He becomes complacent and stops providing, whether it’s financially, emotionally, or physically. Men will want to change you no matter who you are and what you do all to maintain their own ego and sense of dominance. A woman can be a neurosurgeon or a stripper and still find a man who wants her to quit her job because be a. feels inferior b. feels insecure or c. emasculated. Is that the woman’s fault? 

ABSOLUTELY NOT. 

Bill Clinton did it with Hillary. Sidney Poitier did it with Diahann Carroll. Joe AND Arthur did it with Marilyn. Offset did it to Cardi B. Men begin relationships with beautiful, intelligent, witty women and then try to get them to change who they are, to accept less than the best, to dim their shine so the man can be seen as having won her a prize. To be honest, I don’t even really care why men are like this. The simple truth is that they all are. But now that we all know this, the question becomes how do we combat it? How do we make sure that we’ll still be taken care of even if the men in our lives wake up one day and decide screw you over because you don’t fit into what and who they want you to be?

Answer: By having your own.

Have a job, have a volunteer organization in which you have an essential leadership role, have a successful blog or book or business. Just have SOMETHING that is more than just the spa days, hair appointments, and shopping trips. (Hell, if you’re really clever you can even turn that into a hustle, but that’s a conversation for another day) 

Having a job/transferable skills PLUS having an SD/boyfriend/sponsor(s) can be a lot to juggle, I know. I don’t know about you, but I put a lot of time and effort into my career. I’m constantly studying, developing new skills, reading the WSJ and researching anything that will give me a competitive edge. Yes, these things are time consuming and a lot less “fun” than shopping but it’s so important. I know I’ve mentioned this somewhere before, but you can’t put professional hoe on your resume. Having a job gives you security that you’ll be able to support yourself in case something goes left.

Trust me, things will go left in the blink of an eye. 

Look at the whole situation with Dr. Dre and Nicole Young. She’s trying to get $2M/month plus $5M legal fees as a settlement from him and part of the legal claim was denied. Why does she want that much? She is having trouble keeping up with her monthly expenses, Dr. Dre kicked her out of the house, he’s freezing the charges she’s making to cards, is saying that she’s embezzling money from him (and now she’s being investigated), and all types of foolishness. It’s messy and since she was “just a wife” how much of his $820M+ money is she going to get? Nicole was a lawyer before marrying him, and gave it up for him and for family. She adopted his 5 other children. How many nights do you think she was up having conversations with him about business, giving him advice, being a sounding board? Over 25 years?!

Seems like a lot of work just to be known as the devoted wife, am I right? Now since California is a communal property state, she’ll probably leave with something, but is it really going to be close to what she is accustomed to living on? Not to mention when you have that much money you KNOW he’s not going to part easily with any of it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s been moving things into secret trusts and oversees accounts since before the divorce paperwork was filed. However, imagine if during these years she built up a practice with her OWN contacts and clients, had her name plastered in the credits of everything he produced, had ownership stakes in all of the companies he created. Sis would be making out like a bandit right now. She’d be able to just pick up, take her lil divorce settlement money and ride off into the sunset with a hot buff pool boy. 

Instead she’s being dragged through the mud in court and in the press after dealing with Dr. Dre’s annoying ass for 25 years. How unfair. And if you aren’t satisfied with a celebrity example, I know women who got divorced and during the proceedings it came out that the man had an entire real estate company on the sly. Do you know how much money and how many secret deals it takes to have an entire RE portfolio on the side?

Ladies we have to play the long game. We have to have our own and whatever is being given to us needs to be the extra. 

No one can take your degrees or certificates (that his money paid for, but your brain received).

No one can take your career or professional experience(that you elevated using his money).

No one can take your connections and network (that he introduced you to, but you made your own). 

A person’s support can always be taken away, so the one thing you need to count on is yourself. Get those things that are valuable and will last you longer than this season’s designer..

-DLS

[westoverlaw22]

California Divorce Lawyers Examine High Divorce Attorneys In California

Mediation involves sitting down with a neutral third celebration – often identified as a mediator who can help you and your partner discover widespread ground and move towards agreeable solutions to any disputes you could have. We’re here that can assist you shield your children and do what’s finest for them. When parents are married, spouses don’t have to consider how children shall be taken care of, financially.

Depending on the divorce attorney and the circumstances of the case, most purchasers can count on to pay a retainer payment between $3,000 to $5,000. There are numerous public interest law organizations that exist to rearrange pro bono or lower-cost legal providers to communities, populations, and individuals in different areas of law. A prime instance could be the National Center for Law and Economic Justice, which supplies legal help targeted on the event of welfare applications california divorce lawyers. But there are occasions when joint custody just isn't in the most effective interest of the child. Thus, in such conditions, you may be granted sole custody over your children whereas your partner might be granted visitation rights. Because divorce is a problem to be solved, not a battle to be gained, I focus on alternatives to the court system, through Collaborative Law and Mediation.

After all of the paperwork have been successfully filed with the county clerk, they have to be correctly served. Either your spouse can choose to merely accept the divorce paperwork by signing an Acknowledgement Of Service or he/she must be formally served with the documents by a 3rd party. A divorce in California is “uncontested” when each events work to settle their variations by method Divorce lawyers of a written settlement. If you do not meet these necessities, you have to likely must get a divorce lawyer involved. If you want to have custody of your child, it’s very important to indicate that it’s in the best curiosity of your child to be in your care.

Although , divorce is a waste of time life sin and cash when it's not of right method to begin with. This was the quickest and easiest way to go using Don Glass they're knowledgable and very thorough get the work accomplished divorce lawyers in california. I would advocate them to anyone who doesnt know the place to start and pay much less than a lawyer who requires an upfront retainer of 5 to 10k to begin.

Spousal assist, also referred to as alimony, is obligated funds provided from one ex-spouse to the opposite after divorce. California law recognizes that economically disadvantaged spouses could also be unable to earn adequate livable revenue after divorce, and could additionally be entitled to continuous compensation. Although spousal help divorce attorney is not proffered in each authorized dissolution, your attorney will work to ensure your standard of living will be maintained throughout and after the divorce process. Divorce becomes much more sophisticated when children are concerned.

The California Courts publishes this information page with details about qualifying, and petitioners can begin the joint filing course of right here. In California, an "uncontested divorce" primarily implies that the spouses have agreed to divorce and have reached an settlement about all major california divorce lawyer issues concerned in ending their marriage . Mr. Bledsoe handled my case and he was successful in getting me full custody of my youngsters. Months later, when my ex tried to regain custody of the children, Mr. Bledsoe was able to stop her from regaining custody.

An exception to this rule is permitted in the case of nullity proceedings, legal separation, or same-sex marriage. Call us right now to schedule an preliminary case analysis with our compassionate legal group. The first assembly is free and requires no commitment in your half, so call us today to be taught extra.

Divorce is a deeply private journey and requires the assistance and steering of an experienced attorney to ensure your rights are protected all through the method. Our experience and compassion permit our top-rated Los Angeles divorce law agency to customize your legal solutions, so you could get every thing you deserve to maneuver divorce lawyer california ahead together with your life with confidence. We match each client with a divorce attorney who is accomplished in marriage dissolution law. Joseph Land will provide a session that can help you beneath the processes, and to find out whether your divorce is contested or uncontested.

Laura believes that by simplifying the divorce course of on-line and sharing her huge experience in household law together with her viewers, couples are empowered to reclaim management over their own destinies. Los Angeles divorce lawyer Stephen Cawelti was named by Pasadena Magazine as one of the high divorce attorneys within the area for the past 6 years. He has advocated and guarded the interests of tons divorce lawyer of of individuals going via divorce in Los Angeles and is ready to information and advocate for you through your divorce. You may have simply informed the opposite party you're getting a divorce and your companion remains to be fighting to merely accept the truth of the situation.

[eddiesfaerie]

Long Sleeves (part 2)

Summary: Pushed to its absolute limits; a retelling of the past 4 months of you and Charlie’s complicated relationship (13.5k words, i dont know what to say other than im so sorry)

Warnings: NSFW, f!reader, major angst, annoying fluff, mentions of divorce, affairs, age gap (between Charlie and reader, previously implied), nudes, phone sex, PIV sex, daddy kink, some size kink, pain kink(?), rough (and angry and sad) sex, dom and sub themes, spanking, fingering, oral sex (m receiving), i also mention christmas a lot at the beginning which isn't really a warning but i know not everyone celebrates it!

Part 1

A/N: for those of you who are not a fan of d*ddy kink but who may still want to read this; i only use it between the time stamps of Christmas Eve to March, following the March timestamp there will be no mention or use of that word! just thought i’d mention cause the ending is cathartic!

LATE DECEMBER - APARTMENT

With Henry and Nicole staying in LA until after the holidays, Charlie would be alone with you until he left again.

And he didn’t leave your apartment once in the meantime.

Making up for lost time, is what you could call it.

The hours, days, spent in between sheets, on countertops, on couches, in the shower. Like he was trying to mark your apartment with his scent, make sure you never forgot him when he would leave again for LA in a few days.

You would remember him everywhere.

The way your knees bruised on the tile floor of your shower. The welts on your ass from his harsh hand. The bite marks on your shoulders, the bruises littering your neck, stomach, anywhere he could reach.

You would remember him everywhere.

The thousands of ‘good girls’ he praised you with and the thousand and one ‘fucking sluts’ he punished you with. Charlie was coming to know your insides and outs better than you could at this point, it was a certain level of familiarity you were happy with him reaching. He was becoming more and more comfortable around you.

You could tell not just because of the frequent sex, the hard fucking, but because of how he was opening up to you about the divorce. About what was really going on down in LA, what was happening with Henry, what had been happening (or more so, not happening) with Nicole for nearly the past year. 

He told you about how she ignored him, refused to have sex with him, even touch him. How he had found solace in a one time affair with their stage director, how he just missed feeling needed, feeling wanted by the only person who was supposed to fulfill that innate human desire.

He told you everything he could think of, every little detail. He was tired of hiding, holding it in.

He realized he would have to tell you when he would get a random call from his lawyer or from Nicole herself, when he would talk to Henry. When he yelled through the phone or hung up crying, slamming his device against the wall, nearly breaking it.

He knew he would have to explain it to you, he owed it to you.

You deserved to know, especially now that he was involving you in this to some degree. He didn’t want to, didn’t want to involve you but he needed you more than he needed anyone else right now. More than he was ready to admit perhaps, just how much he truly needed you.

And that’s why going back to LA would be the hardest thing he’s done all week.

He stood at the door, dressed, suitcase packed, heart lurching, thumping low in his chest with dread, resent, fear, and some feeling he couldn’t fucking name.

Lo-

“I wish you could come.” He says instead, the saddest smile you’ve seen adorning his perfect lips. You smile back, just as sadly. You know there was absolutely no reason for you to go to LA with him, to spend Christmas with Nicole and Henry and whatever extended family would be there as well. It would never happen, never work. At least, not right now. Not like this.

The divorce proceedings were on break till after the holidays, both in and against Charlie’s favour. It meant not giving Henry two Christmases, one last normal one. But it also meant pretending, indulging in that… façade that him and Nicole have been keeping up for too fucking long now.

The deed would be done sometime in February, maybe March, Charlie couldn’t remember. He tried not to think about it too much. Think about losing everything-

“I know. But you’ll enjoy yourself. Henry will be happy.” You remind him, letting him hold you so, so tightly. His vice grip, digging into you, trying to anchor himself to you.

“I can’t believe I’m leaving you alone during fucking Christmas.” You laugh.

“I’m going home to see my parents, I won’t be alone, Charlie.” He nods his head, hearing the words you’re saying but he still can’t stop the guilt from creeping up on him. He doesn’t want you to think he’s abandoning you. He won’t abandon you, like everyone’s abandoned him. He just hoped you wouldn’t abandon him either.

Charlie presses his forehead against yours, his hands gripping your waist and pressing your body against his. Your arms wrap around his neck.

“I’ll call you this time, I promise. Every night… I’ll call.”

“Okay.” You giggle, believing him.

His hand sneaks its way up your jaw, gripping your cheeks gently but angling your face for you to meet his dark, dark eyes. You know that look, so familiar now. You feel the pressure start to rise inside you, heat pooling in the very pit of your stomach.

“You’ll be good for me?” You nod immediately, fervently.

“Yes, Charlie.”

“If I ask you to send me pictures, what’ll you do?”

“S-send you pictures.” Breathless, your voice sounds so breathless. Your eyelids threatening to close but you keep them on him, always.

“That’s my good girl.” He growls, tilting your face all the way to his lips, a kiss, a seal of approval. You moan against his lips, letting your eyelids flutter shut, imagining yourself in all those new lingerie sets he’s bought you over the last week.

Your early Christmas presents, he had told you.

“The… the taxis waiting out front.” You say against his lips, not wanting him to leave just yet, but also not wanting him to leave you high and dry before getting on a plane set for across the country for at least another week, probably longer. Charlie ignores you, shoving his tongue down your throat, his grip on your jaw moving down to your neck, squeezing ever so slightly, fingers ghosting over bruised skin, enough to make you fall further into his chest, gripping his perfectly ironed shirt, ruining it.

He pulls away all too soon, no doubt doing this to you on purpose. It was 7am and you were already whimpering into his parted lips.

“I-I’ll miss you.” You admit, heart crashing into your ribs. 

You hadn’t meant to say it but he was making your brain foggy, your thoughts were jumbled together and you just let it slip past your lips. Charlie stares at you, red lips swollen like petals, cheeks matching, hair perfectly in place with your help nothing but fifteen minutes earlier. It feels like a lifetime has passed before he says anything back to you. The taxi honks outside on the curb.

“I’ll… I’ll miss you more.”

CHRISTMAS EVE - UPSTATE NEW YORK

It was relieving to be away from the city, surrounded by more wilderness, more foliage, more trees, more animals. A literal breath of fresh air that wasn’t tainted by sewage and the ever present scent of smoke coming from somewhere or someone.

You loved coming up here. Escaping. You hadn’t been back home since last Christmas. You moved away when you were quite young, the relationship you had with your parents was complicated, clashing personalities, it was difficult to understand each other when you were younger but there was clarity that came with age. They finally respected you, and you finally respected them as well, understanding them better.

You think spending so much time with Charlie and Henry gave you an insight into parenthood that you had never been privy too beforehand. You were thankful for that, not only did you appreciate your parents more, but now parenthood had many more benefits that you had never considered before. Magical, rewarding, fulfilling.

Charlie kind of made you feel that way too.

It was still awkward at times with your parents, that was unavoidable. No siblings around meant all eyes were on you. They were asking for too many details, prying too deep and you just never felt comfortable indulging in yourself this much. But you always came prepared, it was the holidays after all, things always got weird.

After Christmas Eve dinner, your parents invited you out on a walk with them around their little town. They did this every night apparently, just walking together, talking. It was cute, endearing. You declined their offer, however. Thankfully you weren’t sixteen anymore, and your parents didn’t press you any further to come along with them like they used to.

They’d be back in thirty minutes.

That gave you thirty minutes to call Charlie. Just as he instructed.

Earlier this evening, as your parents were beginning to prepare dinner, Charlie’s family was just finishing lunch out in California. A perfect time for a perfect distraction, or intrusion. 

You had packed a few sets of the new lingerie Charlie had bought you, not knowing what he would want to see on you or how often you should switch it up. You nearly brought all of them but didn’t want to take up too much space in your luggage and be suspicious.

You put one on that you thought Charlie was particularly fond of, a skimpy little number that revealed more skin than hid, it’s colour complimenting your skin like it was made for you, made to hug your figure in all the right places. You forgot that Charlie had such a visual mind sometimes, he knew exactly what you would look good in.

Nervous and a bit shaky, you tucked yourself away into your childhood bedroom to take your pictures for Charlie. You felt like a teenager again.

Charlie was not pleased with the timing of your pictures, seeing as he was surrounded by family and innocently looked at his phone only to get a glimpse of your beautiful fucking body, all the blood going from his head straight to his cock. He nearly fainted. His cheeks lit up like Nicole’s Christmas tree and he stumbled from his chair. Thankfully, everyone seemed to be more occupied with paying attention to Henry than to notice him sprint to the bathroom to scold you over text.

That was hours ago. Charlie had told you to call him exactly at 11pm eastern time. That was only 8pm where he was but he said it worked out perfectly so you didn’t argue. You just waited patiently on your bed, number dialed on your phone and ready to call, all the clock head to do was strike eleven.

Finally, the clocks ding around the house, your thumb flies across your screen and you hold the phone up to your ear, worrying the flesh of your lip between your teeth. It rings once, twice, three times before you can hear his breath on the other end. It already sounds heavy.

“H-hi Charlie.”

“What are you wearing.” His voice is strained, maybe he’s already holding himself in his hand.

“Merry Christmas Eve.” You twist your fingers together nervously. Charlie grunts on the other end, a frustrated sound.

“I f-fucking told you, no pleasantries. I-it’ll only make us miss each other more-” You stayed quiet. You knew he was right, but you already missed him so much and hearing his voice was making it worse. You felt your lip tremble, you missed his arms, his warmth, his-

“Are you fucking pouting right now?” His voice was firm, sturdy, and annoyed.

“No, Charlie.” A lie.

“Good, now tell me what you’re wearing.”

“I’m wearing your favourite, the one from earlier. I’m barely covered.”

“Oh I know baby, your tits looked so fhuuuucking good in those pictures you sent me.” The fluctuation in his voice was rising and falling randomly, you could picture his hand wrapped tightly around his angry cock, the head flushed red, precum dribbling out the top, just begging to be licked. He tasted so good…

“A-are you touching yourself?”

“No, you didn’t tell me to.”

“G-good girl, you’re so fucking good to me, you know that?” You pictured his chest, the way he flushes right in the center, between his pecs. The way the red splotches climb up, up, up his neck and onto his cheeks and up to the peaks of his ears. You thought about the heavy rise and fall of his chest as well, how fucking wide he is, how much bigger than you he is. You audibly moaned.

“Tell me what you’re thinking about?”

“Y-you.”

“Be specific- fuck.”

“Um, your- your cock. How big it is, how big you are. How it feels when you stretch me out, when you go so deep I feel you in my stomach-”

“Keep going baby, I’m… I’m so f-UHcking close.”

“I think about the first time, a-a lot. How it felt the first time you split me open- fuck Charlie you’re so big I never think you’re going to fit but I always take it, I-”

“Yeah, yeah you always take me like the good little girl you are, such a good fucking slut for me, taking my cock in that tight fucking pussy.” He sneers, you can tell he’s talking from behind clenched teeth and you moan again, loudly. Your brain short circuits, what comes out next, comes from the deepest part of you.

“Oh Daddy,-”

“What did you just call me?”

Fuck.

You hadn’t really meant to say it, you were just so caught up in the moment, the feeling, the sound of him that you completely lost your inhibitions and let it slip out. You expected him to just end the call now.

“Charlie I’m so sorry-” He cuts you off with a firm call of your name.

“I asked you a question. What… did you call me?” Your stomach flips and your insides threaten to spill past your lips and onto your floor.

“Daddy.” You say so quietly you’re not sure he even heard you.

“I didn’t catch that.”

“Daddy.” Frustration laces your voice as you project the word throughout the entire upper floor of the house. He definitely hears it that time. You think you hear Charlie moan on the other end but you don’t want to be too hopeful.

“You wanna call me Daddy? Hmm? You want me to be your fucking Daddy, is that it?”

“N-no…” You’re not sure what he’s getting at, but you feel like he’s just going to torment you.

“Don’t fucking lie to me you little slut.” His breathing picks up again, his voice booming, heavy breaths between every few words. You can hear the slick of his hand as it moves quickly over his length.

“Yes! Yes I- I want you to…”

“Say it.”

“I want you to be my Daddy.” Charlie moans loudly again, his hand somehow moving faster. You can tell he’s close. You can’t believe he likes this. You love it.

“Yeah, I’ll be your fucking Daddy. You better fucking call me that non stop when I get back to you, my sweet little girl.” You moan this time, squeezing your thighs together, feeling your arousal trail slightly down onto your thigh. You were so distracted you hadn’t realized you’d completely soaked through your underwear.

“I will, Daddy.”

“Fuck, I’m-”

Confidence surged you. You still couldn’t believe he liked this but you finally gave in, feeding his desires. When you spoke, your voice was filled with something wicked, sickeningly sweet and most of all, evil.

“Are you going to cum for me, Daddy? Make a mess for me?”

You felt like you hadn’t even finished your sentence before a loud moan punched through your phone and into your ear. You moaned as well just from his release, feeling it in your mind and in your chest, squeezing your thighs again for any sort of friction. Charlie continued to moan through his release, you pictured his silky cum painting his taut abdomen and his beautiful chest. You imagined it blending in with his moles and freckles, you pictured yourself rubbing your hands through it, massaging it into his skin before licking it all up. 

He wouldn’t even have to ask, you would just do it.

“Y-you’re fucking perfect… you fucking angel.” He’s so breathless, completely spent and wasted from your voice alone. You felt so hot. You needed to relieve yourself but you didn’t know if you should ask for permission or not. Before you could even debate it, Charlie spoke again.

“Go to bed, wouldn’t want Santa catching you up like this.” You laughed softly at his comment. Static on the other end. He said your name as if to check if you were still there.

“Yeah?”

“Merry Christmas.”

The line went dead.

JANUARY - BROOKLYN

You had sent Charlie pictures nearly every night after that. And you two called each other every other night as well.

He asked it of you and you couldn’t say no to your Charlie. It was a bit tricky while you were still staying with your parents, he would simply text you and you would have to scurry off to your room or the bathroom and snap as many flattering pictures of yourself as you could. You tried to make it seem less suspicious by drinking tons of water and just blaming it on your bladder.

But the new year had finally come, and you were now back home in your apartment. Charlie would be returning tonight and you were counting down the hours until you saw his taxi pull up on the curb side. You distracted yourself until then.

At around 7pm, you got an unexpected call from Charlie.

“Hi.” You felt like your smile was audible through the phone.

“Hey,” Charlie chuckled darkly, his voice always sounding deeper and richer through the receiver. “I just got in. I was wondering if you’d like to join us for dinner tonight?”

Us? He didn’t mean….

“It’s just me and Henry, Nicole’s uh, staying in LA until further notice. If you’re busy or if you can’t that’s-”

“I would love to,” The fact that Charlie would ask you to spend dinner with him and Henry warmed your heart beyond comprehension. Your weeks of loneliness suddenly dissolving into the background and becoming nothing more than a distant memory, a distant feeling. “but is Henry okay with it?”

“Of course he’s okay with it. He’s actually been talking about you quite a bit. I think he might have missed you more than I did,” Charlie choked a bit on his last words, “not that I didn’t miss you, I just meant that he, you know, Henry was-”

“It’s okay, Charlie I understood what you meant.” You giggle, finding his slight awkwardness endearing. How was it that you both were having incredible phone sex for the past two weeks and now you both sounded like teenagers calling their crush?

“So, you’ll come?”

“Yeah, I’ll come.” Charlie groans at your suggestive tone.

“Don’t start now.” His voice stern, unwavering. You laugh again, more mischievous this time. You test the waters, not stepping in enough to drown... just yet.

“I’ll be over in ten minutes, is that okay, Daddy?” You hear rustling on the other end of the phone and then Charlie cursing a low ‘fuck!’. You think you hear Henry’s voice too, followed by more of Charlie’s now muffled voice.

“Ten minutes is fine.”

//

Henry had bombarded you at the door, he wrapped his tiny arms around your legs and hugged himself tightly to you. It took everything in you not to cry, you knelt down so you could hug him back.

“I missed you.” He dug his cheek into your shoulder. This kid was the sweetest, he would melt your heart every time.

“I missed you too, Henry. How was LA? How was Christmas? Tell me everything!”

Henry grabbed your hand and dragged you into the living room where all his new toys were laid out, ready for him to play with. As he was pulling you there, Charlie emerged from around the doorway like an angel himself. Your eyes met and you felt as if you were moving in slow motion, and not being dragged at top speed by his child.

“Hi.” You greet, almost shyly. Unsure of how to act around him with Henry present.

“Hi.” Charlie repeats, grabbing your free hand for the briefest moment, giving it a tight squeeze until it's pulled out of his grasp by Henry.

You’re not sure how long you spent playing on the floor with Henry, him retelling you the events of the last two or three weeks while Charlie sat on the couch, glancing at the two of you every now and then. You tried not to think about the position you were in, kneeling on the floor, carpet digging into your knees, Charlie sitting tall above you on the couch, looking down at you from between his parted knees. It looked like such a natural position for him, almost like he was too comfortable like this, too familiar with it. You wanted to-

The doorbell rang, making both you and Henry jump from the sharp noise.

“Henry would you like to go pay the pizza guy?” Charlie asked, already pulling his wallet from the pocket in his pants.

“Yes!” Henry shouted, jumping up from the carpet, whisking the crisp bills from his dad’s hands and running to the door to answer it. Charlie figured he had a minute or less before Henry came back.

He lifted himself from the couch, taking your jaw into his hand and bringing you to stand with him. He crashed his lips into yours, violently shoving his tongue down your throat and you had to bite back the moan that threatened to spill through your lips and into his awaiting mouth. His hands had a deadly grip on your waist and on your jaw, you only wished he would ease up because you didn’t want Henry to wonder why you both looked so flustered.

“I can’t wait until tonight.” He said against your lips, his hand on your jaw moving to trail down your throat.

“W-what’s tonight?”

“I got it!” Henry came rushing back into the living room but not before Charlie pushed himself away from you and let go of your throat and waist. It looked like nothing had happened.

“Let’s go set it up in the dining room.” Henry stomped his foot in retaliation, whining slightly.

“Nooo, Dad, can we please watch a movie with pizza?”

“Henry, we have a guest-”

“Please!”

“What movie do you want to watch?” You asked, budding in, trying to stop a tantrum in its tracks. Henry’s eyes lit up and he glanced between you and his dad.

“Have you ever seen ‘Frozen’?” You actually had, but he didn’t need to know that. You gasped.

“I haven’t!” You glanced over at Charlie. His eyes were dark but an innocent smirk pulled at his lips.

He was thinking about how this just meant it would take longer before he could finally fuck you again, a two hour movie cockblock. It had been over two weeks since he had felt your body against his, nothing to satiate him but the sound of your voice and some mediocre photos. Charlie thinks he should show you how to take some really good ones sometime soon. Not that yours didn’t most definitely do the trick, he just thinks he likes the idea of directing you, positioning you...

But Charlie was also thinking about how he found it very sweet, very heartwarming to watch you bond with Henry. He loved watching you have such a good time with him and treat him like a person, not just a child. And he could tell that Henry really liked spending time with you too. Not just from how much he talked about you when you weren’t around, but the smile that lit up his face when you came over or when he went over to your place.

It was getting harder and harder to get Henry to smile like that.

You all sat down on the couch, little wooden fold up tables in front of your seat to hold your plate of pizza slices. Henry sitting between you and Charlie, of course.

Henry sang along passionately to almost every song, sometimes with bites of pizza in his mouth and Charlie would scold him for it, afraid he would choke but Henry ignored his dad’s requests, just continuing to belt out along with the characters on screen.

As the movie progressed and neared the end, you could feel Charlie getting more and more sleepy on his side of the couch. He would rearrange his sitting position every now and then and his eyes would close for minutes at a time. He looked so soft with his arms folded across his chest, his eyelashes fluttering against the tops of his cheeks, his lips coming to rest in the softest little pout. You nudge Henry gently and he turns to look up at you.

“Looks like your dad’s asleep.” You giggle, pointing to Charlie. Henry immediately jumps on him, startling Charlie awake.

“Dad I can’t believe you fell asleep again!” Henry pouts, grabbing Charlie’s face between his hands and shaking him from side to side. Charlie grabs his son’s little hands to stop his efforts, sitting himself up straighter on the couch and hugging Henry to his chest.

“Mmm’wasn’t sleeping.” Henry rolled his eyes.

“Why don’t you go get your daddy a blanket so he can get comfy for the rest of the movie.” You wink at Henry, sending him searching upstairs for the perfect blanket for his dad.

Charlie groans and drops his head on the back of the couch, his hand draping across is as well, coming to rest on the very tip of your shoulder. He wraps his fingers along your muscles, squeezing the flesh into his palm, tightly.

“I heard that.”

“Heard what?” Daddy.

His head lifts from the couch to glare at you, his stare deadly, shooting right to the deepest parts of you. Why were you teasing him like this?

“Dad is the dinosaur one okay?” Henry calls from up the stairs, slowly making his way down and back to the couch.

“It’s perfect, Henry. Thank you.” Charlie takes the blanket from Henry and kisses the top of his forehead before he settles back on the couch, cuddling up next to his dad.

You unpause the movie, admiring the two of them every now and then, watching Henry becoming more and more sleepy as the film nears its end. As the credits roll, Charlie removes the blanket from around himself and moves it to wrap around Henry.

“I’m going to go tuck him in.” Charlie whispers to you. You nod sweetly at the two of them. Charlie carries Henry in his arms towards the stairs before Henry grumbles, calling out your name to you back on the couch.

“Will you come too?”

You look to Charlie for guidance, you don’t want to overstep any boundaries. You’ve never been in the upstairs part of their apartment, you’ve never seen the rest of their place, Henry’s room, Charlie’s room, their bathroom. You’d never seen any of it and it all felt incredibly intimate and incredibly wrong in some way. You didn’t want to accidentally see something you shouldn’t. But Charlie just smiles back at you and nods his head gently.

“Of course, Henry.” You follow them up the stairs, smiling at Henry who smiles that shiny little kid smile at you before laying his head back down on Charlie’s shoulder, resting his eyes again.

Henry’s bedroom is exactly like you imagined it would be. Colourful blue walls, vibrant comic book patterned bed sheets, toys absolutely everywhere yet Charlie avoids them like their place on the floor has meaning, like he’s ingrained it into his mind from stepping on them too many times, muscle memory. You stay in the doorway, leaning on the door frame watching them, not wanting to intrude.

Charlie carefully lowers Henry onto his bed, tucking him in the covers and kissing his forehead. He says sweet words to his son, lulling him further to sleep and Henry smiles dopily back at him, whispering a quiet ‘love you, dad.’

Charlie turns around to face you, he flicks his head in the direction of the stairway mouthing the word ‘go’ to you, you nod and head down the stairs, waiting for him in the living room. You decide to settle yourself at the foot of the couch, sitting on your knees, feeling the burn of the carpet again and waiting for your Charlie.

He descends the stairs slowly, achingly slowly. Making you wait for it, making you feel the weight in his steps, his foot pressing into the wood, applying his weight until he shifts down another step before finally, finally, making his way to you.

You look up at him from your place on the floor, you try not to let your mouth hang open as you gaze up at him, this beautiful man. Sometimes, when you look at him, you wonder if whatever god or gods were out there made him like this on purpose. Sent him here looking the way he does to taunt you, to test you. Test your strength, your will to defy him when you know there is no humanly way possible to deny this man of what he wants. And what he wants is you. Why would you say no? How could you?

After observing you on the floor below him, Charlie seats himself down on the couch like before, knees spread, looking down at you. You scoot closer to him, hoping he doesn’t tell you to stop. His hand comes to rest on his knee before he pats it.

“Lay your head down on me.” His voice rumbles in his chest. You think you feel it through the floorboards, through your knees, up your spine and in the pit of your stomach. You listen and scoot closer, resting your head on his bony knee, nuzzling it with your cheek and looking up at him through thick lashes. You continue looking at him as you press a tender kiss as well, just for fun.

The lights are dim in the living room, the time ticking closer to midnight, Henry asleep upstairs. You both had to be quiet, you both knew this. Charlie’s hand comes to brush against your cheekbone, he trails his index finger all along the valleys of your face and then moving into your hair, gripping the back of it into a fist before relaxing again, bringing his hand back to hold your cheek.

“I’ve missed this.” He says so quietly. You nod, biting your lip.

“Me too.” You say, eagerness beginning to fill your voice. You adjust your position, coming to lean further into him, closer to his crotch where you can tell he needs you. Charlie hums contentedly.

“Mhmmm. Tell me what exactly you missed. Who you missed.” You let your hand glide over his knee, over his muscular thigh and towards his crotch, feather light touches along the fabric of his pants. You could feel how hard he was, it seemed painful.

“You. I missed your cock too... Daddy.”

There it was. He found what he was looking for. His hand found its way into a fist again in your hair, tugging it tightly, his head falling back against the couch as you pressed your lips over his covered cock, straining in his pants.

“You can do better than that,” he groaned, voice almost as strained as his cock yet still so forceful, “show Daddy how much you really missed him.”

You whimper at his tone, your voices both so hushed, rasped and desperate, spurring each other on much quicker than usual. Your hands, shaky with desire, reached up for his belt, grasping the cold metal into your hands and unbuckling it as quickly as you could. Only when you got to his zipper, did Charlie stop you with a light tap to your cheek.

“Teeth.” He scolded. You nodded.

You brought the zipper in between your teeth, biting down on the tiny piece of metal and slowly dragging it down over the hill his cock was creating in his pants. The heat radiating from his body was palpable, you could feel it coming onto your face the lower you dragged the zipper and the more he was revealed to you. You could also smell him, that smell that was undeniably Charlie; musky, earthy, a hit of fabric detergent and just the natural smell of his skin, like almonds in the summer. It made you dizzy, drunk off of him already.

You hadn’t even gotten him in your mouth yet.

You nuzzled your face into his clothed crotch, feeling his hard member pressing into your cheek, you could feel it pulsing, you could feel him wanting, waiting for the moment your mouth would take his length as far back as you could. You whimpered at the thought.

“You like it? You like my cock?”

“Yeah, I love it.”

“Then show me with that pretty fucking mouth of yours.” He sneered, pulling harder on your hair. You hummed and smiled, you felt giddy, maybe you really were drunk. You nuzzled your face into his crotch one more time before bringing both of your hands up to his waist, letting your fingertips dance around his beautiful skin that lay revealed to you above the waistband, you lean up, up, up pressing the softest, delicatest kisses to his skin.

Charlie groaned, pressing on the back of your head, pushing your face further into his tummy. You left more and more kisses before you gave him a tentative bite, not letting your teeth sink in too much before you lave your tongue over the abused flesh.

“Fuck that feels- fucking good.” Charlie moaned, looking down at the new mark that would only darken itself by tomorrow as more blood rushes to the affected area. It was placed beautifully next to his hip bone. You think it looked pretty. So did he.

You finally let your fingertips dip into his waistband but not before latching your teeth onto the stretchy fabric as well, aiding your fingers in removing them. You dragged it down, down, down his skin, just until his cock sprang free and laid heavy on his lower stomach. Charlie hissed, his hips bucking slightly from the sudden freedom.

He has the prettiest cock you think you’d ever seen. You never get used to seeing it, taking it in your mouth or your cunt. The stretch is always so painfully good, you’ve come to crave it. And going without it for the past however many weeks has made you near delirious for it. You stick your tongue out and run it all along the underside right to the very tip, where a shiny, pearly bead of precum has just begun to spill over. You hum as you lick it up, eyes nearly rolling back into your head.

“Don’t be a fucking tease.” Charlie grits from behind clenched teeth. You look up at him innocently, you notice that he’s clenching and unclenching his jaw like clockwork, his eyes look glassy and his cheeks are a few shades darker. He already looks so disheveled, so perfect like this.

“I can’t help it… it’s so pretty.”

“You think Daddy has a pretty cock?” You nod your head, humming, which you can’t seem to stop doing tonight, he just has you feeling so content, so safe. You don't think you could be like this with anyone else. You trace your fingers along his length, watching it bob from the slightest of touches, even Charlie tries to bite back his groans.

“Can-can I kiss it?”

“Please.” You lower your head towards his length, pressing your lips so softly onto his red angry head, giving little kitten licks in between kisses which has Charlie gripping your hair like a vice, afraid you’ll float away. You like the way his stomach flexes in response to your touch, like his body is bracing himself for the tidal wave of pleasure that’s bound to hit at any moment.

You finally take the spongy pink head into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it before letting a few inches fall past your lips as well. Charlie’s tummy flexes even more, the v shaped muscle becoming more and more prominent and you moan onto his cock. His free hand that had been clenched into a fist comes to hold one side of your head and the other comes to meet it. He holds your head in his hands and forces you to take more of him, but not all of it just yet. You start bobbing your head up and down on his length, his hands helping you find his ideal speed.

“Fuck yes, oh my god, j-just like that-” Charlie moans your name, his fingernails digging into your scalp making you moan on his cock again, only making him dig deeper, pressing your head further down his length, forcing you to take him until he hits the back of your throat.

“Gonna let Daddy f-fuck that pretty little whore mouth of yours?” You let your jaw go slack more than it already has and do your best to nod with his cock half way down your throat, tears already beginning to brim in the corner of your eyes. Charlie starts lifting his hips off the couch slightly, all the while moving your head further up and down his cock, forcing it down your throat as far as it’ll go without you making obscenely loud gagging noises.

His son was asleep right upstairs, after all.

You let your eyes roll back into your head, letting Charlie take control and just fuck his cock into your mouth like you know he needs to, like he knows you need it too. It’s been too fucking long. Too fucking long since he’s had you like this. At his disposal, his little plaything to do whatever he pleases with. And you fucking love it.

The cool, sharp metal of his unzipped zipper digs into your jaw and occasionally your neck, biting into your skin and scratching your skin when Charlie lifts his hips up particularly high but you don’t care. In fact, you welcome the pain, embracing it as a mark of Charlie’s rough loving. You hope it draws blood.

“Fuck, your mouth i-is so fucking perfect, so warm... I don’t-” He doesn’t finish his sentence, his eyes screw shut and you can feel his cock growing impossibly harder. He looks down at you, his face twisted in absolute pleasure as he loses himself in your tight little mouth. He pulls you off his cock with all of his strength. A trail of saliva connecting your spit swollen lips to the head of his cock. You start pumping him quickly with your fist.

“No-no wait I don’t…”

“I want it Charlie, please,” Charlie throws his head back, moaning your name, “cum in my mouth... please.”

You nearly whine that last part. Charlie grabs your hair and tugs it, shaking your head a bit.

“I want to fuck you, I don’t wanna cum yet- FUCK!” You hadn’t stopped your hand movements, your fist moving faster over his cock while he fights his release.

“You can fuck me tomorrow.” You say quickly before attaching your lips around the head of his cock, sucking on it until you feel his thighs, abdomen, hands, mind and soul tense up before he bites back his guttural moans, letting them rumble through his chest like thunder passing, before spilling himself onto your tongue. You moan as it lands, letting it slide down your throat as you taste him, taste all of him until he’s completely drained.

You look up at him through heavy lashes, coated thick in tears that have streamed down your cheeks. Chest heaving, abdomen pulled taught, cheeks incredibly flushed, lips swollen, eyes heavy and tired. Completely spent. He looked so beautiful, your Charlie. So beautiful like this.

“S-show me.” His hand reaches for your jaw, pinching your cheeks to force your jaw and mouth open. You stick your tongue to show him. All gone, you swallowed all of his cum, for him.

“Good girl.” He whispered, patting your cheek affectionately. You smiled sweetly at him, coming up with your hands resting your weight on his thighs, pressing your swollen lips to his. As you extend your knees to stand, you feel the ache in the joints, the bruises already present, no doubt. You loved the pain. Your lips glide effortlessly across each other, so tired, so worn out but always wanting.

“Stay, please.” He says against your lips. You shake your head, no. It was a simple answer. A simple predicament.

“Henry.” 

You pull back to look into Charlie’s eyes, he pulls you into his lap and he winces as you apply just a bit too much weight onto the base of his cock. You look into his eyes, already so sad at the idea of you leaving. But Henry would ask too many questions in the morning.

Why is the nice lady from next door still here, Dad?

Did she stay the night, Dad?

Did she sleep in your bed, Dad?

You and Mom’s bed, Dad?

“I know, I know.” Charlie says, defeated. He presses you into his chest, hugging you to him tightly, tighter than you were expecting. It was a hopeful thought. He understood why it couldn’t happen, couldn’t work. Maybe he just wanted you to entertain the idea for a minute with him. Maybe it would happen one day.

“I really did miss you.” He whispers into your hair, cradling the back of your head with his large, warm hand, pressing you further into the nook of his neck.

“I did too. I really missed you too, Charlie.”

MARCH - BROOKLYN

Charlie was currently back from his third visit to Los Angeles, hunting burroughs for the perfect new home for himself and for Henry. Maybe for you as well, but Charlie didn’t like to dwell on that for too long, he couldn’t allow himself such hopeful thoughts, he would only be let down. 

Would you really want to move in with him? Was that moving too quickly? Would you think he was insane? Crazy? Obsessed? The truth was, he is all of those things; insane, crazy, obsessed with you. He couldn’t help it, no. Not when it came to you.

He would always be desperate for your affection, your attention.

Things were escalating with the divroce. Nicole and Charlie had turned bitter, viscous, backstabbing, conniving. Both fighting for a child who has no intention of hurting anyone, certainly not his mother or father.

Henry had no idea what weight his actions or words held, no idea what it meant when someone came over to observe him and his dad, or him and his mom. When they sent someone out to New York to watch him there, sometimes you would be over too. They asked you so many questions, he didn’t understand why. Why were strangers suddenly so involved in every little thing his parents did? Were they in trouble? Were they bad people? Was he a bad kid? Did they hate him?

Henry pouts as you hold his hand, walking up the driveway to the new apartment Charlie was almost one hundred percent decided on renting. It was in more of a family oriented neighbourhood, still close to his school. Somehow, it had a decent sized backyard (which you had never heard of in New York, even Brooklyn), three bedrooms, an office, a beautiful kitchen, it was basically perfect in Charlie’s eyes.

The first time he visited it back in February, he sent you dozens of pictures and little videos when he had gone alone. He quickly booked another appointment for you to go and look at him with it so he could get your opinion. He made it very clear how important your opinion was to him on this matter, he was always asking you questions about the apartment, even bringing it up randomly. He would scroll through the pictures he had taken, scrutinizing every detail and ask you about it.

Do you think the backyard is big enough?

What if I end up getting Henry a dog? Would there be enough space for that?

Do you really like the kitchen? Be honest.

What about the office room? Do I really need that? Is that too much?

What about the guest bedroom?

You wonder if he was so invested in your opinion because he trusted you, or because he wanted you to move in with them. Neither of you had ever spoken about it before, never had that conversation. And even if you did, Henry would always have the final say. If he didn’t want you living with them, well, that was that. You couldn’t argue with Henry, not when his childhood and upbringing was in question. Especially after this divorce. Charlie would do anything for him. Even if it meant risking you.

//

Charlie ended up getting the house he had been eyeing for nearly a month.

Him and Henry would restart here, no painful memories embedded in the walls, in the flooring, in the holes in the walls, the slammed door frames, the windows that threatened to shatter from all the screaming and crying. None of that was here, it would never be here. None of that would happen again.

Charlie hadn’t asked you to move in.

And you hadn’t necessarily been waiting on him asking either.

You were already coming over pretty frequently. And not just on account of Charlie, Henry still loved seeing you and hanging out with you. You still babysat him when things at the theatre ran late. 

When Nicole moved to LA, Charlie was thrown full force into his work. Forced to recast, rework, and rewrite so many things that she had just left hanging. You watched Henry those nights, stayed until Charlie got home and then took the subway back to your place, next to their now vacant apartment.

You were so lonely those nights you couldn’t sleepover at Charlie’s. You missed his warmth. You hadn’t realized just how much comfort you got knowing he was just next door, just beyond a thick wall. You could have touched it and felt his presence radiating through. But now, nothing. It was cold, dark, empty, meaningless.

And because Charlie had been so overworked for the past few months, the stress was starting to get to him. The constant obstacles and backtracking in the theatre production. The random calls from Nicole, his lawyer, the random flights down to LA, the weeks Henry spent away from him, the nights he lost himself in you, using you as an outlet. You let him, you liked it when he took it out on you, you liked how rough he would get, all that pent up anger being pounded out into your hot cunt. You loved it. Loved when he got mad, frustrated. You were always there for him. You would always be there for him, you hoped he knew that.

But what you didn’t love, was when he started neglecting you.

He would go days sometimes without calling you, so much as even texting you. You would get no word from him for a couple of days and sometimes you would just randomly piece together that he was in LA and he just forgot to tell you. You tried to not let it upset you, you couldn’t imagine what he was going through, the stress of the divorce, the potential of losing Henry, his whole life hanging by a thread. It really wasn’t his fault that he just forgot to mention it to you.

Sometimes he would lash out at you, a small comment or action rubbing him the wrong way and he would erupt, say something he didn’t mean or just walk out on you. Times when things go heated, you tried your best to keep you composure for his sake. He didn’t need you being upset at him too on top of everything else, so you kept it in, for Charlie.

Sometimes he would lash out before you two went out with his theatre friends. He would smile and hug everyone, but kept somewhat of a distance from you. Barely speaking to you, barely including you in the conversation unless someone else asked you a question or directly addressed you. What did you look like to them? Friends? Friends with benefits? Did you look like his whore? The babysitter that he was secretly fucking?

You kind of were.

You drank a lot that night. He fucked you when you got back to his new place. He fell asleep quickly after. You pulled on your long sleeve shirt and nice dress pants that you had been wearing that night after laying next to his warm, sleeping body for thirty minutes, debating, thinking, worrying, dying inside.

You stood up and walked to the door, you looked back to find him watching you. You nervously tugged at your sleeves, staring back at him until he turned around, pushing his face into the pillow, as if silently willing you to leave. You left. You called a taxi and left. You didn’t sleep that night.

//

You think it was because he told you he was going to Los Angeles again.

Maybe he mentioned Nicole? His lawyer? Something about Henry? The theatre? 

You couldn’t remember what started all of this yelling, smashing. You were over at the new place, helping Charlie organize some things for Henry before he came back with him the next time he went out to LA again, which was in a few days.

Charlie was pissed and this time, you weren’t sure how much longer you could hold your calm resolve for him.

“Charlie if you just need some space from me tell me, it won’t hurt my feelings, I understand.” You decide to try and change the subject, maybe just cutting to the chase. Offering him what you think he wants, alone time. Time away from you, from everything. There’s no way he doesn’t need a break.

You hated how quickly you would give everything up for him. You would do anything for him, anything he asked.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He asked, eyes squinting in confusion. You sigh, running a hand down your face, your patience was running thin and you didn’t want to accidentally set him off.

“Everytime you see me you manage to get frustrated or mad about something. I just don’t want to give you more problems than you already have. I know you’ve been really stressed.”

“Elaborate, please.” His voice was clipped as he put his hands on his hips, stopping what he was doing and turning to you, seemingly giving you more attention than he had in weeks. You huff, not sure how to explain this to him.

“Charlie I-”

“No, what the fuck are you trying to say? That if I fucking ended things you would just leave? No questions asked?” His voice boomed, echoing off the newly painted walls, shaking the frames of yours and Henry’s dinosaur paintings from all those months ago. 

He takes a step closer to you, you take one back, then another just for good measure. Your back hits the wall and you take a deep breath, gathering your thoughts as best as you can with him staring at you with those eyes. Those fucking eyes. They still managed to twinkle even when he was angry.

“I- I would… for Henry. You put Henry first, I put Henry first. If he wanted me gone-”

“He doesn’t fucking want you gone, you know that.” Charlie scoffed, walking closer to you, his face red in frustration, maybe anger. He says your name, it's never sounded so sad.

“Why are you lying to me?” He’s a step away from you now, chest heaving with laboured breaths. He’s trying to compose himself, you can tell. Trying to stay calm but his patience was wearing thin.

“I’m not, I w-wouldn’t lie to you, Charlie.”

“You would leave me?” You nod your head, lip trembling, tears burning, stinging in your eyes, your breathing becoming heavy too. Was this it?

“If that’s what you wanted, if you want me to leave I would.”

“Why? Why would you do something so fucking stupid?” His lip is also trembling, you feel like he’s about to spit in your face, yell at you for being such an idiotic little girl. The thought alone had you squeezing your thighs together, this was so fucked. You shouldn’t like this, shouldn’t like when he got frustrated, you resented the fact that you did.

You couldn’t think straight, the words leaving your mouth didn’t feel your own, like you were speaking some other language, possessed by a foreign being.

“Be-because…” Bile rising in your throat, you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“Fucking why? Tell me why!” He was yelling, his face in yours and his voice breaking.

“Because I… because I love-”

And then Charlie was kissing you.

Charlie was kissing you.

His tongue swiped into your mouth like he was trying to strangle you with it. His hands came to your cheeks and pressed your body flush against his and the wall, sandwiched between the two. He was hard, you could feel his cock pressing into your stomach as he rolled his hips into you, you moaned into his mouth, tears spilling down your cheeks. He didn’t wipe them away.

“Don’t say it… don’t- fucking say it.” He said against your lips, voice so hush, so quiet and scared.

“Why? Why are you afraid of me?”

“I’m not fucking afraid of you.” He says, confused, angry, lips rough on your own. He keeps trying to kiss you, you don’t want to push him away but you try, you push on his tough chest, his heart beating wildly in its cage.

“Yes you are. You keep pushing me away.” You cry, hiccupping on a ragged sob that leaves your chest, as you ironically try to push him away from you. Charlie tries to kiss you through it, trying to suffocate you.

“I’m not.” He fights.

“You are.”

“I’m not-” You push, harder this time. He stumbles back, lips already swollen, his eyes are wet, glossy too. Like yours.

“You are!” You yell, voice breaking, choking on your tears. “Don’t act like you haven’t been treating me differently for the past month.”

When Charlie says nothing, you continue.

“You don’t call me, you don’t text me, I only come over to babysit Henry when he’s here and when he’s in LA you just fuck me and then get mad about something and leave. When we go out you don’t look at me, you don’t touch me-” Your voice falters, you’re not sure you can go on with the way the sobs wrack through your chest and into the rest of your body. You feel weak, like you might collapse into the ground. You wish you would, you wish the floor would just swallow you up and you could disappear.

Charlie sees red. His fists shake, clenched into fists at his side after you’ve pushed him away. His palms burn to touch you. He knows he shouldn’t, he knows he should listen to what you’re saying, let you talk, remind him how much he’s been hurting you. He knows what he’s doing, he’s not stupid.

He wasn’t trying to push you away, he definitely wasn’t doing it on purpose. But he was sabotaging himself, sabotaging everything because he felt he didn’t deserve you. He was a bad father, a selfish person for wanting to take Henry away from his mother, for wanting Henry to himself, a bad person for hating Nicole, a woman he once loved.

Love.

It was all because of love wasn’t it? Charlie wants to laugh at the thought. Wants to laugh and scream and yell and hit something at the thought of stupid fucking love. Was he really becoming that nihilistic already?

Would he come to hate you like how he hates Nicole? Would you come to hate him the way he hates himself? The way Henry probably hates him? The way his parents hated him-

His knees hit a hard surface, blistering, blinding pain shooting up his legs. He’s collapsed onto the floor before he’s even aware of it. Unaware of the sobs that push and pull at his lungs, forcing his chest to heave in the oxygen before choking it back out along with spit and tears. 

He’s crying. You’re crying. Fuck, how did it come to this. This was all too familiar. He feels numb.

How could he love you when love was the scariest thing? When love was the most frightening emotion he had ever experienced. Everything that’s happened to him for the past two fucking years was because of love. Love would ruin everything. It always did. But he couldn’t…. he couldn’t lose-

“Y-you… you can’t- leave me.” He chokes, hands planted shakily on the floor, holding his upper body up, his arms weak.

You… you’ve never seen Charlie like this. And honestly? It scares you. Sure, you’ve heard him yell, scream, cry at Nicole, his lawyer over the phone. But this was different. This was visceral, burning desire, regret, shame, embarrassment… this was everything coming crashing down around him at once.

Fuck.

This is what you’ve been trying to avoid over the past month. That’s why you’ve tiptoed around him, letting him get angry, letting him yell, letting him ignore you, use you, fuck you and ask for nothing in return. You were avoiding this.

But maybe you had just prolonged the explosion? Let enough gas build up before it eventually burst into flames.

Eventually…

You had definitely made this worse, by ignoring it you’ve let it fester, let it rise and rise and rise, just pushing down the lid for your own sake. Maybe it was both of your own faults? You don’t know, you don’t care. This was bound to happen at some point. And it just so happened to be today. All you really care about is Charlie.

You kneel down on the floor in front of him, resting your palm on the floor like he has, letting your pinky finger graze against his. The slightest of touch as to not scare him off. He flinches, his head still hung low, eyes screwed shut.

You place your hand on top of his, feeling his burning skin, testing the waters. He doesn’t pull back so you continue your efforts. You intertwine your fingers with his, slowly, slowly lifting his hand up off the ground and closer to you. He still doesn’t look up. You keep moving his hand until it’s on your chest, covering your left breast. Only then does he look up, searching your eyes.

He feels it then. That same thing he felt the first time… the first time he had you. Your beating heart, pumping wildly in your chest just like his was. Did you know? Did you know what you did to him? Did you know how much he needed you, how much he thinks of you? Did you know that he… that he-

“I won’t.” You say, cutting him off mid thought. His hand clutches onto you through the fabric of your shirt, trying to reach through you and grab your heart into his hands. He wants to pull it from you, keep it for himself and lock it away, make sure you never fucking leave him. He was so selfish.

“I won’t leave you Charlie.” You say again when he says nothing, just watching his hand twist into the fabric of your shirt, tugging it strangely until he’s rid you of it. He places his hand back on your chest, feeling your heart better now through the barrier of only your flesh.

“I���. I’m sorry.” “You said you wouldn’t lie to me?” It feels like the first thing he’s said in hours, his voice rough around the edges, gooey in the middle. His post-yelling voice, you knew it too well.

“I wouldn’t.”

“Then why… why would you even say that? That you would leave me?”

“Because if that’s what you wanted, what you needed… I would do it. I would do anything you wanted, anything for you, Charlie.”

“Why?” He couldn’t understand. There was no fathamobale reason as to why he would deserve such devotion. Especially from you. 

You’re quiet, unsure of how to answer him. This was the same back and forth you both had before he exploded, when you almost told him you… that you lo-

“I-I don’t know how to answer… you told me not to say it.” You whimper, tears spilling from your eyes again. His hand comes to hold your cheek, thumb swiping away the tear. You nuzzle into his hand, kissing his palm. You stay there for a moment, resting your face in his palm, feeling his warmth radiating from his hands, letting a silence wash over the two of you. It was sort of peaceful. A chaotic peace.

“Charlie, I-”

“Don’t... don’t say it.” You cry some more, tears spilling. His hand moves to your throat, squeezing gently, you find it oddly comforting.

“But I want to, I want to say it, please.” You grab the wrist of the hand holding your throat, squeezing his flesh, asking.

“No.”

“Charlie-”

“I said no.” He grabs your jaw, shaking you from side to side a little. You whimper, eyes screwing shut, pushing more tears past the precipice. He pulls you into his lap, you’re putty in his hands, letting him move you however he needs to move you. He holds you in his arms, your legs wrap around his waist and his legs bring him to stand up somehow, his strength always shocking you.

“You can’t say it... you can’t leave.” He continues, you sniffle, hiding your face in his neck, grabbing onto his hair as he carries you somewhere through the apartment, up some stairs…

“I’m sorry, Charlie, I’m- sorry.” You hiccup and cry into his neck, wetting the skin. You press your lips over the newly wet skin, feeling his heartbeat flutter underneath, teeth grazing the thin flesh.

Suddenly he’s lowering you down, down, down until you come in contact with a soft surface, his mattress. Charlie crawls on top of you, you let him rest between your thighs, keeping your legs up high on his waist.

“Don’t ever fucking leave me.” You shake your head from side to side in agreement with him, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth. His hand trails down the length of your body roughly, burning your flesh in its unforgiving path. You’re left only in your jeans since he removed your shirt when you were still downstairs.

“I won’t, I-I didn’t mean-” You can barely form a proper sentence, choking on your own tears and sadness that wrack through your mind and body. Charlie’s hand in already palming your sex through the thick denim you wear, you whimper, trying to squeeze your thighs together but his body blocks them.

“Stop talking.” He barely gets out the words before he’s pressing his lips to yours again, letting his lips glide against your wobbly and swollen ones. You breathe each other in, letting your tongues dance across one anothers as you gasp and cry into his mouth. It’s all teeth and all tongue, it’s messy, clumsy, desperate, burning. You don’t care, he doesn’t either when your teeth clack against each other, nibbling on lips, biting sometimes.

Charlie flips you over underneath him so that you face the sheets, sliding down your body and roughly tugging down your jeans along with your underwear in one swift motion. You gasp as your wet cunt comes in contact with the cool air of the darkening day. Charlie stands on his knees behind you, pulling your ass up higher, higher, higher until he’s satisfied. His cheeks are warm, his ears pink at the peaks. Before either of you even have time to think, his hand comes down harshly onto your right ass cheek, you cry out, gripping the sheets by your head.

“Ch-Charlie!” You gasp, earning you another smack to your other cheek. You push your head down into the covers, trying to muffle your cries and moans as he keeps going.

His smacks you again, and again, and again and again until you’re a sobbing mess in the sheets. Words, languages lost to you in your muddled brain. A pool of spit near your mouth soaked into the white fabric, only a wet spot remaining to show for evidence of your euphoria. You can feel the imprint of his hand on your ass, you know it's burning red, you know the skin is raised and puffy. You fucking love it.

Charlie’s chest is heaving, breaths labored as he takes it all out on you like he knows you need it, knows you love it. He does too; love it and need it. The way your ass gets so much brighter, how big the imprint he’s left on you is. How fucking perfect you are for him... He’s pulling off his shirt before he knows it, shedding his pants too until he’s in nothing but his underwear. You’ve stayed exactly where you are, not daring to move a muscle since he hasn’t instructed you otherwise.

“So now you listen.” Charlie mutters to himself, it's barely audible to you since the blood is coursing so loudly through your veins, through your ears. You’re buzzing.

Charlie pushes you back down on the mattress so you lay completely flat. He pulls your jeans and underwear down the rest of your legs until you lay there bare before him. He inhales sharply at the sight of you. He could see the way you glisten for him, he could feel it on his hand when he had spanked you, your arousal having begun to trail down the tops of your thighs, he moaned at the sight.

His hand comes flying down, this time spanking you roughly on your pussy causing you to lurch forward into the sheets, crying out his name pathetically again. He leans over you, keeping his hand clutched tightly around your cunt, feeling your juices seep between his fingers, you moan and try to press back into his hand but he just slaps it again, your eyes screwing shut. He’s nearly got his entire weight on top of you, his hot breath fanning across your cheek as he comes close to your face.

“You’re so fucking wet for me… you want it that badly?” You nod your head vigorously.

“Yes! Yes, Charlie I want you, I-I need you so badly, please.”

“Hmmm, what do you need?”

“Anything, y-your fingers…”

“Where”

“... in me, in me please.” You’re completely desperate, your crying and sobbing from earlier making you especially weak to his ways, his voice, his body. God, he could do anything to you, and you would let him, you would beg him, you would thank him.

Slowly, Charlie sinks one thick finger into your soaking cunt. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as he pumps it slowly, in and out, in and out of you. You try and push your hips back to meet the small thrust of his finger but he keeps you pinned down.

Charlie could feel you clenching around his single digit and he groaned next to your ear, nibbling on the soft lobe as he continued his ministrations. You whined, withered underneath the weight of his body, his hot chest pressing into your back, pressing you into the mattress. 

“Charlie, please I-”

“What? You need more? You need more from me?”

“Please.” Charlie draws his index finger out of you before joining it with his middle one, probing your entrance teasingly, swirling his fingers around it but never going in.

“Fuck-”

“Do you think you deserve it?” He didn’t deserve it, didn’t deserve you, your pussy, none of it. He was only projecting his worthlessness onto you. He didn’t mean it, he couldn’t.

“N-no.” You say, tears welling in your eyes from a multitude of things. Overstimulation being one of them. You tried to get your hips to stop pressing into his hand but it was so hard when the temptation was right there.

“No… you don’t.” He kisses the tears that slip from your eye, pressing a finger to your mouth and you gladly take it in, laving your tongue around his salty, rough skin. His two fingers at your entrance finally push in deeper, causing you to cry out around his finger that was in your mouth, drool slipping past your lips.

Then he starts pumping, quickly, and you can’t stop the way your hips push into his hand, trying to meet him halfway through his thrusts, needing more so badly. You moan around his fingers, he echoes your moans back into your ear. You can feel his cock filling out, getting harder and harder against the back of your legs where it still lays confined in his underwear.

All too quickly he pulls his fingers from you and spanks your pussy again, you choke on a cry around the finger that’s still in your mouth. You’re already wrecked, and he’s nowhere near done with you.

“You only get to cum on my cock, understand?” You nod your head with vigour, eyes trying to meet his from where he’s positioned, behind you yet over top of you. You can feel him moving around, pulling his fingers from your mouth and his underwear off as best as he can without moving too far away from you.

“I understand, Charlie.” You cry, the tears unrelenting at this point, beyond your control.

Fuck, what weas he doing? Why was he doing this now?

What other way did he really have though, to show you what you mean to him? Definitely not words, no. No matter how much he writes for the theatre, words could never come close to describing what he feels for you, what he needs from you, wants from you, what he wants to give to you, tell you, provide you. None of it, no language would do.

Nothing would come closer to his body on you, in you, moving in tandem with you, hearts so close together that he loses sense of himself and just feels you wrapped so tightly around him in every sense. That’s the only way he could show you, the only way he could tell you.

He grabs his cock in his hand, pumping himself slowly and rests his head on your shoulder, groaning into your skin at the sensation. “Beg.” He spits, his lips moving against your flesh. He rubs the head of his cock against your slick folds and you yelp, pressing your hips back but he anticipated it, drawing his hips back, away from you.

“Charlie, please I-I need you so badly, I’ve never wanted… anything else but you, I just- please, I need you so bad, I-I, l...love-”

“I told you not to fucking say it.” He grits from behind clenched teeth, slapping your ass harshly and you let a sob leave your lips. The burn was so good.

“I-I’m sorry, I can’t help it-” You whine, fists bunching up the sheets with a grip so deadly your skin is turning white. He lets his head drop to your shoulder again, his own eyes screwing shut, trying to will his own tears away as he continues to run his cock along your pleading entrance, collecting whatever arousal has seeped out of you.

“Fuuuck, perfect little pussy... so desperate for my cock, isn’t it?” He mutters, almost to himself as he watches the way his cock moves between your glistening folds. Unashamed, you keep crying, moaning at the feeling of his big cock so close to where you need him most, nodding your head.

“Please, Charlie I need you inside m- fuck, just put it in, please-”

Your breath hitches in your throat as you feel him press in with the tip, letting the spongy head break through your folds and slightly dip into your entrance. Your fists clench and unclench against the sheets. With a sharp ‘fuck’ Charlie presses the rest of his long, thick cock into you, both of you moaning and breathing in one another.

He lets his cock sit in you, coming to interlock his fingers with yours, pinning your hands above your head, elongating both of your bodies but mostly yours, from how much longer his body is. Only then does he start snapping his hips into yours, letting his thrusts punch out your moans and cries from your chest.

At this angle, he’s hitting places inside of you so deep you never thought you could fathom, filling you up to the brim, you swear you can feel him in your stomach, punching your guts into your throat with every violent thrust.

You moan his name without relent, it’s the only thing you could possibly ever know. Charliecharliecharliecharliecharlie to infinity. You never wanted to know anything else, no other thought suddenly as interesting as him. He was the only thing that mattered. The way his cock filled you was dizzying, mind-numbing, and bone-shattering.

“You always need me so badly, you could never leave me, never leave this cock. Desperate little slut.” Charlie groans, head resting on your back as his powerful thrusts push you up the bed. He latches a hand around one of your hips, trying to keep you pinned down.

“You would never fucking leave me, you’d never fucking do it.” He continues, maybe to himself. You can feel him nuzzling his face into the skin on your shoulder, kissing and biting the skin, leaving a mark in his wake like he always does.

“I won’t, Charlie- I won’t, I promise.” You hiccup, his thrusts unrelenting in their assault. You could feel your release building, that bright white feeling rising inside of you. The only sounds in the room were your breathy moans, Charlie’s growls and the loud slap of skin on skin, his hips colliding with your ass every time.

“Dont ever say that s-shit again- dont ever fucking leave me. Don’t - ever. Fucking. Leave.” He growled, biting your shoulder and punctuating his words with harsher thrusts, fucking into you.

“I’m s-sorry Charlie-” You’re cut off by a sensation on your back. Hot, wet, slippery. Charlie sniffles. 

He’s crying, burning holes into your flesh as they land on your back. Your own eyes well up all over again. The pleasure of his cock deep, deep, deep inside you and the emotions flowing through both of you was overwhelming, overstimulating, your mind was going blank, you felt like you would black out.

You hear it then, his quiet cries, the way his chest shakes as he finally lets it go, lets it out. And then he’s suddenly pulling out of you, grabbing one of your ankles and one side of your hip, flipping you over quickly, hiking your legs back up around his waist and continuing his punishing, relentless pace. You moan embarrassingly loudly as you watch the way his stomach flexes into you, the way his chest tightens and constricts, the flush that spreads from in between his marvelous pecs to his cheeks, his dark wet eyes, the red that fills them, the way his eyelashes clump together, making them look longer, darker, the dark halo of hair that frames his face. Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

It was beyond you at this point, you couldn’t stop what was already put into motion.

“Oh, Charlie…” You cry, chest arching into his, your nails scraping his biceps. He moans at the pain, dropping his forehead to yours. You’ve never heard him moan like this, never seen him cry like this, never seen him so lost and completely gone in you.

Even if it was a mistake.

Even if you would regret it tomorrow.

Or five minutes from now.

Or immediately afterwards.

It was the truth, your truth. His truth. It was the only thing you could ever possibly know.

“I love you.” You cry, burning tears streaming down your cheeks. Charlie’s eyes meet yours, lost, delirious, shocked.

“You… y-you can’t.” He doesn’t tell you to stop this time. Doesn’t tell you to shut up, doesn’t tell you how dumb and pathetic it is to love him. You love him.

“I do, Charlie I-I do. Fuck, I love you so fucking much.” You whine, nails biting the skin on his back. His hips never stop, he’s fucking common sense and all things rational out of your mind. All you know is him. All you ever want to know is him, Charlie.

His chin wobbles, moans escape past his lips as he refuses to stop fucking you, his cock so fucking hard it hurts him, almost more than this. Almost more than the chant that has started to leave your lips, the floodgates have been opened and you can’t stop your confession now.

“I love you, I love you- shit, Charlie I love you, I love you so much, I love your fucking cock, fuck!” You couldn't stop, you felt like you could never stop at this point. You never wanted to stop saying it, never wanted to stop telling him. You loved him, you loved him, you loved him.

“You’re… you’re not real… you’re- fuck, too fucking good for m-me.” Charlie gasps, his hips speeding up, his cock growing harder somehow. You feel him pulse inside of you. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, mouth hanging agape, no sound being emitted from you. Charlie moves his lips down to your exposed throat, kissing and sucking on the delicate skin before wrapping a firm hand around it, not squeezing too tight.

“Yours.” You manage to choke out, gripping onto his wrist that's at your throat with all the strength you had with your body gone pleasure weak. Charlie moans your name, it makes you cry more.

“I’m yours, Charlie.” You manage to say more clearly, using all your willpower to look him in the eyes. His eyes are blown black, the dark circles underneath them so, so pigmented. You could feel the crescendo building, he was about to break. His lips were glossy, spit slicked and roughly bitten.

“You’re mine.” He confirms, more to himself than to you. He just… he felt like he could never be sure enough. Like he would never believe that you were his. That you were in love with him.

You nod your head, hands interlocking behind his head, gripping tightly into his hair.

“I’m yours, yours.” You keen, hips rolling into his as you both neared your release. His hand around your throat keeps you pinned in place as his fucks you into the mattress, moaning, groaning, crying your name. The slight added pressure makes you see stars, your pussy flutters around his cock and your back arches, pressing your chest into his but Charlie keeps you exactly where you are, your body convulsing as you cum, cum, cum around his cock, screaming his name.

“M’gonna cum, gonna f-fucking cum s-so deep inside, fill you up-”

“Please, Charlie.” You whine, dumb from the high that he continues to fuck you through, tears stained on the skin of your cheeks. You tug on his hair roughly, meeting his thrusts with a roll of your hips and that sends Charlie over the edge.

“Fhuuuck-” He lifts his head slightly, to look at you better as he splits you open one final time, his cock stilling in the deepest parts of you before he cums so fucking deep inside your pussy with the most guttural moan.

He fucks his cum back in to you until it’s seeping back out onto his cock. He groans so loudly you feel it in your bones. His hands wrap around your upper body, holding you tightly as he spins to lay on the mattress, holding your body to his chest, his cock still nestled deep inside of you.

Charlie gives you a small thrust, pushing and mixing his cum with yours one final time. You gasp and cling to him, your nails digging slightly into his muscular pec at the sensation, the delicious burn. You feel so incredibly full, so full of your Charlie. You love him.

“I lo-”

“I love you.”

Your heart must have stopped beating, your lungs, forgotten their functionality, your brain short circuited, your limbs incapacitated.

You looked up at him with those big, shiny wet eyes. You looked like a fawn, lost on the side of the road who just found someone who could help them. Someone kind, someone gentle, honest, safe, warm. Someone worth loving. He was worth loving. Charlie was worth loving.

But you already knew that.

He said it again, so low in the dark room, the dark night, eclipsed with spilled feelings and sweat, tears too. So many fucking tears. His voice so low it almost didn’t register, the deep vibrato rumbling your insides and warming you up all over again. 

He said it with you curled up on his chest, he said it again when you moved up his body to press your face into the crook of his neck, pressing your lips to his bruised skin, he said it as tears spilled from your eyes. He would say it as you fell asleep on him in the deadly hours of the night and again in the morning when you woke. He would remind you constantly, he couldn’t stop, couldn’t hold it in. Not anymore.

He would tell you he loves you a million and one times from then on, until you didn’t want to hear it from him anymore. 

tag list! @morby @shesakillerkween @gamingaquarius​ 

[rafeswife]

CHAPTER ONE

Don’t forget to call me when you make it there safe!”

My mom yelled out at me as I scrambled to the door in a rush. A bag was on my shoulder full of hidden alcohol I had wrapped inside of towels, along with some snacks. I was currently on the way to see the pogues, unknowing to my mother who thought I was visiting the Cameron’s with baked goods.

I had lived in the Outerbanks for only a few weeks and the slang I had accumulated from hanging around the island still felt alien to me. My mother was a Interior Designer for one of the biggest home renovating shows in America, so moving around was nothing out of the ordinary for me. We had traveled from California to Ohio and my mothers next big project was none other then the North Carolina coast.

I had only met few people in my time on the island. On the second night of my stay I was greeted by a blonde girl who I soon placed as Sarah Cameron. The resident princess of the island; at least thats what I picked up on from listening to the Pogues. She was kind to me, it was a short exchange at the market. She recognized me as someone who wasn’t local and told me to text her if I ever needed help finding my way around the Outerbanks. We exchanged numbers and she left in a car of others in a rush.

Bringing me to my very first group of people I met on the island. My new house was in a place called Figure 8 and my next door neighbor was Kiera Carrera. One day while I was moving boxes into my house, I looked back and saw a Kiera on her porch she was in some sort of argument with her parents. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but their voices were anything but quiet. She was in a fight with her parents as she made her way down the steps. They shouted words that I didn’t understand at the time like “pogues” and “kooks” and “midsummars”.

All I knew was that I had been through what she had and I wanted to tell her it was going to be okay. Although it was none of my business, I waited for her parents to go inside as I placed the box of antiques down and made my way to the curb she sat on. I spoke to her about my parents divorce and I told her that it was okay to feel the way she was feeling. Our exchange led to her inviting me to her friend John Bs house. I don’t know why they added the B in John but I didn’t bother to ask. I met John B, and two other guys at his house. It gave me a close feel to a cabin with a tropic twist if that makes sense. John B was genuine, he told me stories of his father and welcomed me into his home with his arms open. On the other hand JJ was skeptical at first taking a minute to warm up to me because of the place where my home resided. He explained to me how the Kooks were selfish, rich people and the Pogues were the ones always ready for a good time on the island. He was fairly good looking but I shook away that thought because I could feel tension between him and Kiera. He then offered me a drink and told a few jokes that made me ugly laugh. Pope was the last boy I was acquainted with, he struck me as intelligent and determined. He seemed more worried of what I thought of them, telling JJ to calm down at times and asking Kiera questions about me. Overall the group and I had a good time and I left a good enough impression to be invited back.

Which leads me back to where I was headed. Kie invited me to a giant get together, they called it a Kegger which was just a party in Pogue language. I hopped inside my car and made my way to the beach, looking for a spot that others hadn’t found out about yet and parking. Shutting my car door and hitting the locks, I slung my backpack around me and followed the crowd. Which would’ve been the only way I knew where I was going if it wasn’t for the massive bonfire that was radiating smoke. I walked down to the secluded area and around the corner of a building saw hundreds and hundreds of people.

this has to be half of the town.

Quickly my anxiety began to creep up inside of me. As strange as it sounded because I moved all the time, I was very nervous around new people. Taking my shoes off of my newly tanned feet I stepped into the sand. I searched the beach squinting looking for the familiar faces of John B or Kiera but I was out of luck. I excused my way through strangers hoping I would run into one of the four Pogues. Digging my fingers into my hands and tugging at my backpack, I began to grow impatient.

Suddenly interrupting me from my intruding thoughts was a warm substance seeping down my white top. My eyes were met with a tall boy, who’s shoulders were broad and hair was slicked back. He held a bottle of beer in his hand as his blue eyes were set on my top.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry!”

I blurted out, it was my fault he had spilt his drink after all. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going causing me to ram into the guy.

“I should be the one apologizing, here come with me my sister probably has a extra shirt.”

He then proceeded to grabbing my hand and pulling me through the crowd of guests.

This guy was really hot if I had to admit, his collared polo complimented his body and his hands were filled with veins. Not to mention he had on a ring, A RING! I normally didn’t try to involve myself with boys because of how much I moved around. Having to leave the last boyfriend I had behind was gut wrenching, but… I could make an exception. It had been forever since I had been with any guy and I was craving something a little more than holding hands.

As we pushed past the final few people we stopped around and empty area. The boy looked off into the distance at a girl on top of some sort of wooden post and a blonde guy struggling to get her to come down. In fact, I knew that girl. It was-

“Sarah! Come here!”

I was startled by the loud outburst beside me. Sarah was his sister… That must’ve meant he was Rafe. Dammit.

flashback

“Every Kook is BAD, now repeat after me”

JJ had a very strong opinion about the richer class, I wonder what the reason was. What about Sarah Cameron, she seemed sweet.

“I met this girl named Sarah the other day, she was actually really welcoming.”

“Sarah CAMERON?”

Kiera blurted in sort of a grimace. She didn’t seem to be too fond of her.

“Sarah Cameron is the epitome of a snobby, entitled little brat. She always gets whatever she wants and doesn’t care about anyone other then herself.”

Kiera seemed to share a popular opinion amongst the Pogues based on their reaction to her outburst. They all nodded their heads in unison.

“Don’t even get me started on her brother Rafe! He is even worse, he treats the Pogues like shit and gets away with it every single time because he goes crying to his daddy.”

Her opinions on the two struck me as cruel. I didn’t know the two so clearly I couldn’t just defend them but, I didn’t like the way the Pogues spoke so poorly of the Kooks. It seemed wrong. Especially because when I met Sarah she was anything but a “brat”.

“Just don’t get involved with them. For your own good.”

JJ said, I could tell he was amused with making fun of the Cameron siblings. John B looked at my face and could tell something was off.

“Alright, Alright, I think you guys are started to scare the girl. Let’s go check out the waves.”

end of flashback

Sarah jumped off the pole without any regrets swinging around in what I assumed to be her boyfriends arms and making her way over to the two of us.

“Yes Rafe. What is so important that-“

Her gaze met mine.

“Alexis!”

She pulled me in for a hug quickly, my nose whiffing the smell of alcohol on her. Or on me.

“Hey Sarah”

“What happened!”

She exclaimed looking down at my shirt that was stuck to my skin.

“It was an accident,”

Rafe butted in.

“Rafe.”

She drug out in anger.

“We haven’t even met the girl for more than a second and you already have spilt your drink on her. Typical.”

I looked over at Rafe in pity for a split second but then I remembered this was a sibling thing to do. It was normal for brothers and sisters to argue, I didn’t know much about it because I was an only child.

“Shut up Sarah”

“It was my fault honestly, I wasn’t watching where I was walking.”

I nervously broke the tension. They both looked at me for a split second and then the silence was stopped by Sarah taking her shirt off. I was surprised by the Cameron girls boldness.

“Chill out girl, I’ve got a swimsuit and from the looks of it you don’t plus since Rafe did this too you he can kindly take you to his car so you can change.”

Sarah tossed me the top and ran for the water waving a goodbye with a warm smile. She was gorgeous, and she made me feel good. The Pogues seemed closed minded, and my views on things were beginning to shift since they were no where in sight, even though they said they were going to meet me here. Adding onto my perspective was the fact that Sarah and Rafe were there.

“She’s a handful. I’m Rafe by the way, which you probably gathered.”

His eyes were a little red, he must have been smoking. His voice seemed a little droopy but it was still sexy. My feet followed the direction of his as I held the shirt in my hand.

“Nice to meet you, Rafe. I’m Alexis.”

My voice was a bit shaky but confident. I liked to sound confident when I met others even though I wasn’t. We shortly arrived at his jeep, and he unlocked the doors.

“Can I put this bag down somewhere?”

I said picking the heavy weight off of my shoulder.

“Yeah, here let me see it.”

I rubbed my sore skin as he grabbed the bag and sat it in the trunk.

“Beer in the towels, huh?”

I looked back at him.

“Hey, who said you could be nosy?”

I playfully smiled at him.

“No one, but I was just curious what you were carrying around, I mean for all I know it could’ve been drugs.”

“You probably would’ve been happier with that outcome, huh?”

He laughed. His laugh. Holy shit his laugh. It was so hot.

“Can you grab me a drink?, I need one”

I asked desperately.

“If I can snatch one too then deal”

I nodded at his remark and hopped inside of his car grabbing the drink from his hand. I sat the drink in a cup holder as I took my soaked shirt off. I sat it to the side and then looked at my bra.

“Shit”

It was soaked too, I took it off as well praying it wasn’t getting any colder tonight as I slipped on the yellow tank top Sarah gave me.

I grabbed my drink, took a swig and opened the car door. I looked out and Rafe was already crushing his can sitting on the hood of the car.

“Want another?”

I offered reaching in my bag and extending my hand. He turned his head and looked at me for a few seconds. My hand waiting for release from the beverage but it never came. Then I realized why as I looked down at my shirt. You could see through. Before I looked back up he grabbed the drink clearly as embarrassed as I was.

“Yeah uh sorry”

His hand scratching the back of his neck as he opened the can. I brushed off the exchange and got up on the hood of his car with him looking at the party from afar taking another sip.

“So, you’re new ay?”

Rafe said.

“Yeah, I just moved here a couple of weeks ago.”

He wasn’t making eye contact with me and neither was I. It wasn’t uncomfortable though. The scenery was calm. The stars looked perfect and the sound of the faded party and waves were in perfect harmony.

“Who invited you here?”

“Just some people I met, they told me they would meet me but didn’t follow through.”

“Screw them. You should come hang out with us.”

His invite made me feel warm. I looked over at him taking a sip of the drink, I watched as it gilded down his throat. His adam’s apple bobbing. He was a masterpiece. I must’ve been looking a little too long because he whipped his head around at me. I quickly averted my gaze away embarrassed.

“Yeah I will definitely take you up on that offer, I can’t stand unreliable people.”

We were close. His hand smoothed it way to my knee. Yes please.

“Neither can I, good thing we are reliable. Even got you a new shirt.”

He stared back down as he made this statement clearly looking at my boobs. Quite frankly I was flattered.

“Eyes are up here buddy boy”

I cringed at my own words but being a couple of drinks in at this point I didn’t care.

“I know”

He said. His hand slid a little further up my leg placing on my thigh. Higher. and higher.

“You have a boyfriend?”

He asked, I laughed at this. Hard. My laugh was one of those laughs that sounded so stupid other people would laugh at it. So as I kept laughing he began to laugh as well.

“w-what”

His high was probably making my laugh sound even more strange then it already was.

“Nothing just that question is funny.”

BOOM

Both of us flinched as we looked away from eachother. That was a gun shot. I frantically got up.

“What the fuck, we need to get out of here”

Rafe yelled. I looked at him in a panic.

“What about Sarah!”

I shouted back.

“We will grab her in the car, now get in.”

The Pogues were still down there. I looked at Rafe as he sat in the car and looked down at all the people running away from the scene. I had to make a decision quickly.

The Kooks or The Pogues



[jawritter]

The Arrangement

Part 2

Summery: You are a young girl that was raised in a small church in Dallas, TX. One of the only churches left in the state that still practices arranged marriages. When your betrothed ran off to California you thought you'd escape the fate you were trained for ever since a small child. Now upon the death your parents your fate seemed to be inescapable as he's returned, and is ready to take you as his bride.

Book Warnings: Arranged marriage, loss of virginity, smut, unprotected sex, angst, language, suicide attempt, battles with anxiety, struggles with mental illness, age gap (about 11 years), I think that’s it, chapters will have warnings of their own!

Chapter Warnings: Grief, dealing with the death of parents, talk of arranged marriage, some language probably? I think that’s it really.

Word Count: 1866

A/N: This book is a book about Christian and church based arranged marriages, I would like to take this moment to say that I DO NOT have ANYTHING against the Chirstian faith, and mean absolutely no harm to anyone! Especially Jensen’s family! This is a complete work of fiction, and should be treated as such!

Beta’d by the amazing @deanwanddamons who was awesome enough to do all this for me! It was a lot of work, and she deserves all the praise for it!!

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Want More? Check Out My Masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***SERIES MASTERLIST***

Jensen's POV:

The church was quiet today, contrary to the place that Jensen remembered from his childhood. The gray carpets and dark auburn pews that sat on top of it in three rows were empty. There were no sounds of the musicians warming up,  not the quiet rumble of chatter as people made their way to their Sunday seats. 

Just silence.

All  the lights were off, all but the small spotlights above the pulpit that matched the color of the pews. 

A large cross with a battered man with his head hanging down on his chest hung on display for the whole of the church to see. A crown of thorns on his head, and a cloth draped around his waist.

Jensen sat in the very front row in the middle of the dark church, staring up at the man on the cross, wondering if he even knew he was down there looking up at him.

For years he'd played a character on a show that emphasized the idea of a higher deity which was God. He had been raised to know this God. He'd been taught all the Sunday school lessons all the good boys learned. He’d been baptized as a young child like so many others in the baptistry that now stood empty in the very back of the church behind the choir loft.

He knew the bible, he knew the story, he'd heard the sermons. Still something was missing; something still felt out of place. 

He'd been taught how to go through the motions. He’d  been able to fake it through most of his young and adult life. Now though, he couldn't help but find himself wondering if this man that had supposedly died, hung on a rugged cross, bearing the sins of the whole entire world even knew he existed, because here lately he sure felt alone.

Looking down at his hands that were folded in his lap, he could see they were starting to show his age. He wasn't a young man anymore, he could see it even in his hands. Middle age had hit him harder than he wanted to admit. All the stunts that he'd insisted on doing himself had scared his knuckles. He's body felt all the aches and pains of the stupid things he'd done when he was younger.

He was the same person that sat on this pew every Sunday as a young man and child, yet he wasn't. 

He was scared now, inside and out. He let a woman lie to him. Tell him she loved him, when really it was just a breeding marriage of which she got three children, and a whole lot of money. 

Which is what she wanted more than anything. The money that is.

The night he'd caught her with his best friend was the night he'd done a whole lot of rethinking. What if he'd have never left home for California? Sure he was successful and rich, but what had that gotten him? A gold digging whore, who loved nothing but money and herself.

Most men his age had a family and a home. He had nothing. A broken family, and three kids that barely recognized him at best.What if he would have married her? She probably would have given him children, a home and a family of his own. She would have been faithful. A good wife. 

Fulfilling the duties that he'd watched his mother and grandmother perform. What a wife should do. 

Not run around on you, and steal money that didn't belong to her.That's when Jensen decided it was time to come home, and do what he should have done all those years ago.

He knew about Y/n. Hell he was 11 years old when she was born. He held her at the hospital. She was the first baby he'd ever held. All his childhood he'd been told that was who God had picked for him to marry.

He remembered how heartbroken his mother was on his wedding day to Danneel. How disappointed his father was.They were right about her. He should have listened.

If he'd just married y/n, he'd never would have had to go through this heartache. She'd be by his side with a family that he could be proud of. Even if there was 11 years between them. 

Thankfully, the night he filed for divorce with his now ex wife he called his dad, telling him he'd seen the error of his ways, and wanted to make it right.  Y/n wasn't married off to another man. She was still living at home with her parents.

The arrangement was made at her birth. 

It still held to this day.

The tragedy of her parents passing had definitely made things a lot more difficult. More so than they had to be.

He'd allowed her to go through the motions of the proceedings of her family's funeral. Holding off on coming to marry her until she was past all of that. He'd waited this long, which was two more days.

Right now, she was at her parents house packing their belongings. He'd wanted to go meet her there and help her, but the pastor said it best to just wait here for them to bring her to him properly.

Jensen heard the heavy wood door drag across the carpet behind him and close with a pop, echoing through the empty sanctuary.

He didn't bother to turn around, just continued to stare at his hands and play with the expensive Rolex that sat on his wrist just under this black dress shirt, and black suit coat as his father's distinct heavy footsteps made their way towards him until they stopped and took a seat next to him.

"Pastor Burton just called. They are en route to the church now. Your mother is on her way with your siblings to witness the exchanging of the vows, and to sign the marriage license as witnesses."

Jensen didn't say a word, just nodded his head. Now looking back up at the man on the cross they called Jesus.

"You're doing the right thing son. I want you to know that." Alan said, looking at his son carefully. Trying to read his features.

Jensen though, showed little to no emotions. 

He'd learned how to bury those types of things in the industry. Emotion that wasn't written on paper was a sign of weakness. Not something you needed to portray unless asked to. No matter how deeply you felt it.

"Jensen, there's something you need to understand. I'm not lecturing you, I realize you are a grown man.  You’re 41 years old and perfectly capable of making your own decisions, but this girl, even though she's 29 years old, she's been heavily sheltered. Like all the girls in the church chosen by God to marry. Don't take her to that fast Hollywood lifestyle and expect her to be able to conform, cause she won't."

Jensen sat up a little straighter, and threw his left arm over the back of the pew, playing with the wood grain with his fingers.

"I know Dad. I didn't plan to. I'm going to be lying low for a while, I need a break. I spent 15 years of my life building Supernatural.It's my turn to build a life. I can't do that if I'm off somewhere filming, and just leaving y/n at some large house somewhere and expecting her to fall in love with me."

Alan nodded his head in agreement, silently breathing a sigh of relief. 

"So are you planning on staying here in Dallas? So she can continue in the church?"

"No." Jensen answered finally, looking at the man that was an older image of himself. 

"I told you a long time ago dad, I don't agree with everything that goes on here. I've been out in the world, I've seen how normal people function, and this isn't going to hold me. I can't just let it all go."

"So where are you going to take her?" Alan asked, trying to hide the disappointment that Jensen would once again be disappearing.

"Austin. I've been living in a hillside house that I purchased a while back. The one we were using as a rent house after the renovations on the lake house were done. I'm going to take her there in the morning while we get to know each other a little better. Once we're a little more sure of each other we will decide together where, and how we want to put down roots."

Alan nodded his head, watching his son intently. 

"So you intend to make this girl fall in love with you."

"Yes, I do. I want this to be a real marriage. I realize that this would have been a lot easier if  I’d have done it when I was supposed to, and her parents were still alive. I understand she's going through a lot emotionally, and I'm not looking forward to asking her to consummate the marriage tonight, even though I know it's what has to be done."

Alan tried hard to swallow the lump in his throat. He hadn't even thought that far ahead.

"Just be patient with her son. She's never done anything like this before I'm sure. They are rarely let out of the slight of their family. I'm sure she's tired, stressed, and scared. She's only seen you on what little bit of TV she was allowed to watch, I'm sure they didn't allow her to watch Supernatural. Her mother was deeply involved and devoted to the church."

Jensen nodded his head. He could feel his heart racing at the gravity of what his father was saying. For the first time he was getting nervous.

"Does she even remember me?" Jensen asked his father, feeling very small right now in the situation that was weighing down on him.

"I don't know son, I haven't spoken to her since the wake of her parents."

Another sound of the door opening and both men turned to see Donna, and Jensen's siblings making their way down the aisle. Jensen stood and wrapped his arms around his mother as she approached him.

"It's good to see you again Mom." He said, breathing in deep the comforting smell that was his mother's perfume, something that he hadn't done in a very long time. A flood of childhood memories filled his mind.

Pulling away from her finally, he greeted his siblings with a short nod that they'd returned. Both of them kept their distance.

"Are you ready Mr. Ackles?" Bro. Charles said, making his way down toward the small group of people. Jensen took a deep breath, and looked over at the young man who was clearly trying to keep his distance.

"I'm ready." Jensen said, as Charles went to turn all the lights on in the sanctuary. 

Jensen took his place standing in front of the altar as directed. He looked down at the small table that said, "Do this in remembrance of me" on it. Where the marriage license lay, awaiting their signatures.

This was it. There was no turning back now.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List: @deanwanddamons​ @imabitch4jensen​ @rvgrsbrns​ @bi-danvers0​ @onethirstyunicorn​ @i-love-superhero​ @akshi8278​ @lyss-dw79​ @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @defenderrosetyler​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @thecreatiivecorner​  @aflamboyanceofgays @vicmc624​ @busy-bee-angel-misska​ @justanotherwinchester​ @brilovesdeanwinchester​ @idksupernatural​ @lyarr24​ @amandamdiehl​

[optima-chama]

I Remember...

I remember the first time I experienced racism.

It was quite long ago, I believe I was around 7 (I’m 22 now). I remember how shocked and hurt I was by it, yet still so confused. Even though the day was over a decade ago, it’s still vivid and fresh in my mind as if it happened yesterday. I lived in Illinois back then, with my mother, father, and little brother. We lived in a predominately-white suburban neighborhood. Obviously, we were the only black family on that street, so we stood out quite a bit. I had a few friends on that street. Waterford Lane, Lake in the Hills. I still remember that two story house fondly. School had just let out, and just like several other kids, I had gotten on a bus to get home. Ah, those were the days--Elementary School was such a great experience to me, you know? I loved to learn. I loved to read. I loved making my teachers smile and exceeding their expectations and making them proud of me. In school, during that time, we were learning about 3D shapes. Another group of kids that weren’t in the same class as us had gone through their lessons a bit faster, and finished the project to be made at the end of the lesson. A 3D shape of your choosing made out of plastic straws and those twisty-ties that people use to keep bread loaf bags shut. I, being the curious child I was, had been fawning over the 3D shapes those kids had carried onto the bus. I was sitting with a group of kids I had made a pretty good friendship with, or so I thought. One of them even lived on the same street I did; a little white boy my age. We used to bike all the time around the neighborhood together, and he had even been inside my house to play games. I remember asking one of the kids I was talking to if I could see their little 3D project because I just thought it was so cool. My ‘friend’ (who hadn’t even been a part of the conversation) interjected, and said something that shocked me into stunned silence. ‘No, you can’t, because you have dark skin!’ I ran off the bus crying to my parents, who had been waiting at the bus stop for me. I told them what my ‘friend’ had said. I remember them being furious and unleashing holy hell onto that little boy’s parents while all of the other kids and parents watched. I remember being so hurt by what he had said, but so confused as to why his parents were so apologetic and embarrassed and stammering before ushering away, clearly talking to their child in hushed, furious tones. Why were my parents yelling at his? What had they done to deserve being yelled at? Did I really deserve less just because I had brown skin? Because a child doesn’t just go around saying that out of the blue. That boy had never been allowed near my house again. I remember the second time I experienced racism.

Third Grade. I had a teacher by the name of Mrs. Gross (yes, that was actually her name). She was a short, pretty woman in maybe her mid-30s. I revered teachers, because they were authority, and they were giving us knowledge. Teachers couldn’t be bad, right? I still remember the first day we had started that grade, where she gave us a nice sweet flowery speech about how if she offended us in anyway, to come to her and let her know. We could be safe with her. We could trust her. And then came the day she made fun of my birth month during a lesson and didn’t like that (I was a sensitive little kid). I went to her during quiet reading time and told her I didn’t like that, because all months are great. That was when I learned her little ‘You’re Safe With Me’ speech didn’t apply to me. She was dismissive and blew me off. I was hurt by this, but figured, maybe I was just being silly? I could get over it, I wasn’t one to hold grudges. I just wanted to make the adults I respected proud. It took me many detentions, her calling me a cheater due to me being the one student with the highest reading skill, and becoming the scapegoat of the classroom and getting in trouble for many things I never even did to realize that not all authority deserves respect. I remember the first time I ‘fought back’ against racism.

Still third grade. Mother and Father were going through divorce proceedings, Father had left leaving a sore bleeding hole behind in our once idyllic home and it was wreaking havoc in our household. I was a sad and angry little girl. I started acting out more, even in school; because I figured I was being treated like a villain in school anyway, so why not act like one? There was hardly a day that went by that I wasn’t being bullied by my peers, my teacher, or older students that were in the Fifth Grade. I remember this one particular girl in the fifth grade, Nora (of Indian descent), who I thought was my best friend, but in actuality tried to get anyone and everyone she could to make me cry just so she could get a laugh. She liked putting me down, just to make herself seem cooler. God, after I realized how toxic she was, I hated her with a passion. She even turned this one fifth grade boy I had a crush on (he had pretty red hair, silly I know) against me. I’d only ever see him on the bus, but he’d make the bus ride to and from school a living hell. Calling me names, pulling my hair, the like. I tried to tell my teacher about it, but lmao, of course she didn’t do anything. Hell, she even snidely told me I deserved it. So I just sat quietly and took all the abuse, because I knew that no one would help me anyway. One day, I had had a particularly rough day at school. Ridicule from my teacher and peers, and knowing I’d be heading back to a broken home where no father was waiting to hug me and wipe my tears away? I was stressed. I was angry. Mother had heard me crying one day before this, and told me I had her permission to defend myself if I needed to, but ONLY if someone else put their hands on me first. I was NEVER to throw the first punch, she told me. I didn’t understand why, but I trusted my mother above all else. I got on that bus that day. That little boy had a wild hair up his ass for some reason; was showing off for a group of friends. Calling me ‘blackie’, ‘a fat tub of lard’, ‘stupid’, etc. I ignored him, and this made him angry. Then he stood up and kicked me in the stomach. I saw red through the tears of pain blurring my sight before blacking out. When I came back to reality, the bus had been pulled to the side of the road and I was being pulled off the boy by the bus-driver. He had a split lip, a quickly swelling black eye, and was sobbing through chipped teeth. I was banned from the bus for a week after that, during which time I learned that he had a fractured jaw and bruised ribs from my rage too. I remember being pulled into the office by the Vice Principle, with my mother and his parents there, and being shown the tape from the Bus Camera that had caught the whole thing. I remember his parents being angry that I was even still in the school despite their child being clearly in the wrong, and being called a ‘monster’ and a ‘danger to the school’. The VP was cool though, and was on my mother’s and I’s side, saying it was Self-Defense. They said they’d sue, to which the VP laughed and said ‘Go ahead; with this tape, it won’t go anywhere’. I didn’t get in any official trouble, but the glare that mother had given me sent chills down my back. The rumor of what I did spread around the school very quickly. The only good thing about that was that I wasn’t being bullied anymore. I remember the first time I was told I wasn’t as pretty as other girls around me because I had dark skin.

Still in Illinois, but different school. I was in Fifth Grade now. Mother had won custody of my little brother and I, and we had to move from that big old house that I adored into a much smaller condo apartment. Mother had to work long hours to support us, so I had to help her parent my brother. Help out with chores, make sure we got to school on time, help her cook, make sure my brother and I did our homework, we ate, and got to bed on time, stuff like that. I remember feeling quite a bit of pride for being such a big girl to deserve my own phone back then, so my mom and I could keep in contact while she was at work and we were home alone. There was this boy I had a small crush on in my class, he was most definitely the clown. Got in trouble a lot for playing pranks, and joking around and talking while everyone was working. I liked him because he was funny, and made me smile even though I was clinically depressed (that’s a whooooooooooole other story). I had told a ‘friend’ in confidence that I liked him, and well, of course that didn’t remain a secret for long. We were heading to art class when he confronted me and made fun of me for it, in front of our whole class. He said ‘That’s cute, but honestly, I could do a whole lot better than you’. I was hurt. Distraught. One of the other girls seemed to have a bit of sympathy for me and said ‘That’s so mean, why would you even say that?’. I still remember his response to this day. ‘Black girls aren’t as pretty as White girls.’ I remember the first time I was ridiculed by people who looked like me. We had moved to California, to be closer to my mother’s side of the family. I remember being vaguely shocked and excited to suddenly be surrounded by people who looked like me. New friends I could make! Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad anymore! Maybe I wouldn’t be so lonely anymore! I remember my first day in my new school, Sixth Grade. The class was so much more diverse in terms of ethnicity. Not a single white kid in sight. I remember being very wary and even distrustful of my teacher, because he was a white male. I learned better as the year went on though--He was quite honestly the best teacher I had ever had, and I’ll remember him forever.He was strict but fair, and he made learning fun again for me. He was the one teacher who ever told me that it didn’t matter what I looked like-- If I wanted to succeed, and was willing to work for it, I’d be great in whatever I decided to set my mind to do. He believed in me. But anyway, I remember being introduced to my new students, and everyone looking at me like I was a shooting star or something. Illinois was so very far away, after all; I remember getting swarmed by my peers during recess asking me if I wanted to play, and I was so excited. But as the day went on, and I kept talking and laughing with them, they kept giving me weird looks, so I asked them what was wrong. ‘You talk white. Why are you talking like that? Do you think you’re better than us? You sound just like a whitie/gringo. Don’t you know what they do to people who look like you? Why do you want to sound like them?’ It wasn’t long after that that I became lonely again. I remember the first time I had been stopped by a security guard in a public setting. This was during my make-up phase. I had reached my mid teens by now, and I was feeling really insecure about my image. I particularly liked lipstick and eye shadow, and I would beg my mom to take me to the local Walgreens to get some whenever I had saved up enough money. I liked collecting random colors and flavors; it made me happy. I had made the mistake of wearing a baggy hoodie that day. I loved hoodies, still do; they make me feel safe and warm, like a hug. Mom hated them, cause I liked using the hood to hide my face and kept my hands in the huge pockets they had, ,which I personally didn’t get. When we walked through the doors, I had sped-walked straight towards the make-up section. I was looking at all the different brands and colors, touching them while oohing and aahing over them before putting them back; none of them were really catching my eye. Over the intercom, we heard a lady give a strange nonsensical code. I turned to my mom and joked that maybe they thought I was stealing or something (I felt it was funny because mom had put the fear of God in me when it came to stealing; I was terrified about even thinking about committing the act). Turns out, when we were done and walking towards the entrance after paying for our goods and I got stopped by a security guard, that I had been right on the money. I got patted down and forced to empty out my pockets and little purse in front of the doorway, in front of the whole store, for that security guard to be sure that I hadn’t taken anything without paying for it. It took fifteen minutes. They didn’t find anything, of course, but I was practically crying by that point. When we were allowed to leave, I was ushered out the store by my mom and when we were in the car, she took the time to calm me down before telling me that was why she didn’t like my hoodies. Because I would be looked at with even more suspicion when I was in a store than I already was. My mom told me that in order to not be bothered by authority, I had to look as non-criminal as possible. ‘B-But why...?’ I asked, like a naive child. ‘Because you’re black.’ She sadly told me. I didn’t go back to that Walgreens for at least a year. I remember the first time I felt threatened by a police officer. We were living with my disabled grandfather after his second wife had passed by this time. I still thought that the majority of cops were good when I was turning 17. Why else would they be protecting the public, right? They were strong and brave, and put themselves on the line to keep citizens safe. They were the good guys. Sure, there were some bad apples, but you couldn’t judge a whole group based on what they wore, right? There was bound to be some worms no matter where you go, and I had been coached extensively by my mom and uncles about what to say and do if you’re approached by an officer-- Be respectful, stay calm and compliant, and don’t speak too much (this confused me, but whatever my family said I’d do). I was walking with my little brother back from the 7-11 near our house, after a snack run. My brother was 14 then, and he had a bike. It was a pretty cool red bike that he absolutely loved, and he rode it around everywhere. If he was out and about in the neighborhood, chances are he was on his bike. We were laughing and squabbling with each other, like siblings usually do and just minding our own business. When we were only, I’d say, a quarter mile away from home, a police cruiser coasted up beside us on the sidewalk. We immediately went quiet and stared ahead, trying not to look like we were up to no good or anything. I whispered to my brother to let me handle the talking if they spoke to us, because my bro had a bit of a temper back then and I didn’t want him mouthing off to an officer. They followed us for a small distance down the street, before the passenger side window rolled down and the (white) officer in the passenger seat asked us to stop. We did. He then asked us where we were going. ‘Home’, I said, sorta shielding my brother from view. ‘Oh yeah? Where’s home?’ ‘Close by.’ We stared at each other in silence for a bit (I wasn’t dense enough to not realize there wasn’t tension) and I could feel my brother gripping onto my shirt from behind. I could feel him shaking a little. The officer looked at my brother, and consequently, the bike he had been riding down the sidewalk. ‘That’s a nice bike’, he said. ‘T-Thanks!’ My brother said, realizing he was being addressed and eager to talk about something he loved to a guy he thought was doing a really cool job. ‘I love my bike, I ride it everywhere!’ ‘Your bike, huh? Got proof that it’s yours?’ My brother’s eyes went wide in shock. They wouldn’t let us leave that spot until we proved that the bike in our possession was my brother’s. I remember having to call my mom who was at home, wondering where the hell we were, and explain to her that two police officers had us cornered in a nearby street and weren’t letting us leave over a shiny new-looking bike. I remember hearing her losing her shit over the phone, saying she’d be right there and not to panic, and in the background, my grandfather insisting he’d come with to try and ease things to (and to keep my mother in check, cause she’s one hell of a spitfire). I remember shaking and whispering to my brother that everything would be okay; while trying to shield him from view as we stood there for five whole minutes waiting for our mom to save the day, all the while the officer was asking us increasingly invasive questions about us and getting more and more irritated when I gave short, polite answers that didn’t reveal much. I remember taking a further look into the car than I should have, and feeling my heart drop when I realized the officer (of course) had a gun on him. And his hand was resting over the holster. I had seen it. And when I looked back up at him in the eyes, it was clear he knew I had seen it. But his hand didn’t move away from the gun. Mother showed up quick, and with my grandfather in tow. Thing is, my grandfather could pass for white. Only slightly tanned skin that could be dismissed due to the California sun, and bright blue eyes. My mother, with fury in her eyes, clearly caused alarm for the officers, but when they saw my grandfather trying his best to hold her back and keep her from cussing them out with the receipt for the bike she had bought for my brother clenched tightly in her hand, they quickly backed down and tried to seem as friendly as possible before driving off in under two minutes, wishing us a good day. I remember my brother and I quickly being rushed home, the both of us rattled out of our minds while my mom ranted and told us this was why she told us to be on our best behavior while in public. I remember that day as the day it really hit home for me. I was not seen as equal by those around me because of something I had no control over. I would be looked at with suspicion while in public because of my skin color unless I somehow managed to prove I was trustworthy. I wasn’t seen as pretty as girls with lighter skin were. Authority wasn’t always right, nor was it unbiased. Police officers weren’t friends to people who look like me. Whether I was being passive or aggressive didn’t matter to those around me if people wanted to pick a fight; if I wasn’t careful, I would most likely be the first to get accosted/handcuffed/a harsh sentence/killed. And that the freedom that the American Flag stood for, that several of my family members had pledged their lives to, military, medical, or otherwise, didn’t mean a damn when it came to us.

[soufcakmistress]

Rekindle

Pairing: Erik x Thick Black Reader

Summary: You and Erik finally split ties, but it was far from a clean break..

“Seven years. Seven years of my life, I gave that man. Down the fucking drain.” Your living room is covered in party decorations, wine bottles and your best friends sprawled along the carpet. Big gold balloons filled with helium spelling out “FUCK HIM” are tracing your ceiling; the “Happy Divorce” cake has been rationed out amongst your girls, still left uncovered. All of them drunk and half asleep. Not you. The celebration of your divorce has fizzled out and left you in a state of despair and confusion. How did we get here... 

Talking to no one in particular, you muse out loud, eyes watery, clutching a glass of Cabernet. “I gave that nigga everything. My body, my mind, my fuckin spirit, and we still couldn’t get right. What could I...what could I have done...?” A lone tear dropped and you gulped the entire glass down your throat. 

All you could think about were the divorce proceedings. Erik didn’t fight you on anything you asked for. It was hard to read him, just like usual. Blank expression, dead eyes....you had no idea how he felt at this very moment signaling the end of your union. You requested child support, the house you and him had built from the ground up and being the custodial parent to your four year old daughter, Nneka and you got it. No matter what you felt for Erik, you would never keep Nneka from her father. He cherished her, she was his pride and joy. You wanted that for her; it was something you never had. 

Irreconcilable differences was the grounds on which you filed for divorce. You both grew up so differently from each other and that became very evident as the relationship progressed. Erik, orphaned in childhood, fighting and surviving in the Oakland foster care system, overcoming every obstacle before him by taking control of his life, going to college, enlisting in the Navy, and traveling the world, leaving his dreadful past in the dust.

You, the only child of two Black yuppies who had their nanny practically raise you, were thrusted into the world of prep schools and country clubs, groomed from birth to be the wife of some senator or judge with an impeccable pedigree. Born to be a Black Stepford wife. That wasn’t you, and if your parents actually took more 5 minutes to talk to you about it, they’d know too. You were free and needed to spread your wings on your own terms.

This fueled you to rebel and shit on every expectation your parents had of you. A flawless grade point average, you could write your ticket to any school you wanted. When you told them you were going to Spelman over Dartmouth, they hit the roof. You were determined though, to set your life path without the black cloud of your parents looming over you.

Shortly after you graduated from school, you made a life in California, far away from your family. Beautiful weather, beautiful people, beautiful weed. You adjusted nicely being a brash East Coaster, adapting to the relaxed lifestyle of the west coast. Finding some really good girl friends, securing a bomb condo, killing shit at your new job. And in walks hurricane Erik...

He was a livewire, always the center of attention even when he wasn’t seeking it out. Erik was the director of several outreach centers in the state, with close ties to the Wakandan government as their primary benefactor. Developing after school programs, multicultural outings, or just making sure the kids of the community were fed; that was what he had his hands in every day. A Black knight in shining armor. It didn’t hurt that he was fucking gorgeous, with the charm and wit to match. 

You guys met at a gala for the center headquarters in Oakland and like a moth to a flame, y’all were inseparable. He just started growing his locs, gold canines in tow, and bulging muscles through his suit jacket that you could hardly rip your eyes from. He romanced you in one night, banter over champagne flutes and hors d’œuvres. A fine ass Black man who was driven and passionate about the welfare of his people, with a slick mouth, you were a goner. But Erik wasn’t the only one with game. You gave as good as you got it, evening gown wrapped around your curves, showcasing what you were working with. Erik noticed that, and he pounced accordingly. Imagine his surprise when you had a mouth on you as well. Your brown skin, shimmering with flecks of gold, natural hair in an updo to flaunt your neck and décolletage, and a sort of whimsy in your eyes. It took all he had in himself to not ravish you in the midst of this fine engagement. 

“You’re not the only one who’s charming, Mr. Stevens...” you remember whispering in his ear. You were a little tipsy from the bubbly and feeling uninhibited. You guys spent the whole night talking, slow dancing a few times. He felt so good holding you, smelling like a dream, his body warm and substantial to hold on to. You guys exchanged numbers and he kissed you on your cheek, his hand at the small of your back, “I’ll be seeing more of you, Miss Y/L/N......” 

You got blankets and placed them all on your girls in the living room, and stumbled to your bed room. The tears are flowing now, and a hot shower could at least wash the day’s events off of you. You undress and step in and let the water roll off your skin. It did no good though. Your mind can’t stop thinking about the last decade of your life, mulling over the big and small details.

How he made you laugh so much at the late night diner on your first date. When your car broke down on the side of the road and he came and saved you by changing the spare. The first time he entered you and gave you the most earth shattering release you’ve ever had. The uneasiness he felt when he finally told you about his past life and the symbolism of his scars. The tears in his eyes when he bent down on one knee and asked you to be his wife. The utter peace during your honeymoon in Aruba at the thought of your newfound union. The contractions you felt as you wailed loudly, bringing your baby girl into this world. Him cheering Nneka on as she learned how to walk. The emptiness you felt when you miscarried when Nneka was a toddler and him consoling you. Your rage at him coming home late consistently with little to no explanation. His ugly and controlling words to you about him being the head of the household and how you belonged to him. The shock and awe on his face when he was served the divorce papers. The one slip of his poker face as he held the door for you to exit the boardroom after finalizing the dissolution of your marriage. You read shame, anger and even a hint of sadness on his visage, all a shock to your senses. “I told you I would give you whatever you wanted, Y/N..” Those were the last words he spoke to you earlier that day as you both exited the building, going to your separate cars. He pulled off and you could have sworn you saw a tear streak down his cheek.

All these memories bombarded you at once. The hurt, the pleading, the despair at separating from the only man you’ve ever loved, the father of your child....you allowed yourself to really feel it. Your tears mixed with the shower water, and you slid to the floor of the shower, hair be damned. This was the first step, everything was so fresh and still so raw. You bawled, doubling over as your cries filled the space of your once shared bathroom with Erik. You would give yourself this night. To cry and scream and bellow at this unfortunate moment. After this....you were moving on, by any means necessary. 

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. Hey! Enough with that bad self-talk! Tell me something you like about your body. Uhh. I like my nose.

2. Rap music: Yay or Nay? Yay.

3. Whoever invented post-it notes was a genius, right? They were nice to have when I was in school to make notes in books.

4. Does the price of gas outrage you? I don’t even know how much it is at the moment, honestly.

5. Please tell me you know the difference between there, they’re, and their! Yes. “They’re going over there to visit their friends.”

6. Are you obsessed with cleaning? No.

7. Where do you keep your shoes? In my closet.

8. What do you think of dating websites? Not my thing, never had an interest in joining one, but they can be great for other people. I had a friend who met her now husband on one.

9. Are YOU smarter than a 5th grader? Kids are smart, man. Plus, I remember watching that show and a lot of the questions I was like wtf I don’t remember learning that in 5th grade?? A lot I still didn’t know, but these kids were on it. 

10. Don’t you think its funny how people will wear those AC / DC shirts but when you mention one of their songs, they go, “What??" I really don’t care.

11. What’s the strangest thing a complete random stranger has ever done to you? One time a friend and I were out in front of the movie theater waiting for our ride and some woman on a bike passing by stops and asked us if we had healthcare. She then proceeded to go on some rant about how people like us (my friend and I) had health insurance and she didn’t. She was like angry at us about it. We had no idea how to respond to that.

12. When you said something naughty when you were little, did your parents wash out your tongue with soap? Nope. I didn’t say any bad words as a kid, but if I had my parents weren’t the type do that as a punishment. They would have just explained to me why I shouldn’t say that.

13. What do you think of spanking little children when they do something wrong? Okay or not? I believe there’s other effective ways of discipline, such as positive reinforcement and not rewarding bad behavior. Like, if they do something wrong take something away, whatever is appropriate for their age. 

14. Y'all got a southern accent? No, I’m from California.

15. How do you pronounce the name Sean when you come across it in text… "Shawn” “Sheen” or “Shane”? “Shawn.”

16. Is it true that British accents are overrated? No?

17. How does it make you feel that most American families are failing? I don’t know the stats on that, but of course it’s sad when anyone is struggling.

18. When you get married, are you gonna stick out with your husband or get a divorce on the first argument that comes your way? Sigh.

19. Did you know that in Japan they have sushi flavored ice cream!? Ew.

20. Have you ever wondered if dogs think their thoughts in barks? No, but I’ve wondered about what they dream about and what goes through their minds when they do certain things. Not obvious things like eat, drink, go to the bathroom, but things like when my doggo randomly gets off the couch and comes into my room to lie down. What made her get up and do that at that time? lol random stuff like that. Animal behavior is very interesting to me.

[taylorswiftreadmydiary13]

I’ve completely gotten lost. Aimlessly sidetracked.

This is my lover

This is my person. The love of my life. The place where my heart lives.

The one I would marry with paper rings, every single time. The one I let get away once, but know that in the end it’s a fight we are gunna win.

I’d move mountains, spin the world the other way, cross oceans for this man. I’ve loved him for half my life. From the very first time our eyes locked. This love came back to me.

August 25, 2020 update Illicit affairs 

part one: Mike

Do you ever stop to think about how your choices and decisions ricochet and impact others unsuspectingly? For me... I had a love. I had two children with this man of mine. We rarely fought, but when we did... it was always because exes of his with other motives wanted to “catch up,” for me, that was a hard line that no one should cross. I had been cheated on too many time to want to deal with those people, or be that person. Especially now that I had children, those were games that younger people should be playing if played at all. 

I remember one day you came home and wanted to tell me that you had just apparently realized that you were a smart ass, because Jen said so. This is something that was not new news to literally ANYONE who knows you. So you proceeded to tell me the story about how rude you were to another apprentice at work. & you were texting Jen about it. I asked why you even had her number? Because you were working together and you needed to call or text to tell others when or when not to stop. She was “one of the guys,” none of the men at work looked at her that way, you said. Plus, you added “she was trailer trash & I had nothing to worry about.” I voiced my opinion and said that she had no business texting you when you were not at work. 

I remember you graduation, and her barging her way between us all, while your entire family, the kids and I were standing in line. more specifically, she walked right between you and I... and your head turned to watch her walk away. The look on your face infuriated me. I almost slapped you. I almost made us all leave- fuck your graduation. You wouldn’t have done ANY OF THAT with out me... not with a child. Our house was ALWAYS clean, dinner was ALWAYS made, your laundry always done & folded away. One girl, one boy. It’s haunting to me how songs I heard as a 3rd grader that stuck with me like Dixie chics “He’s 2 and she’s 4, and you know they adore you... so how can I tell them that you’ve changed your mind?” haunted me for generations. Trains “one that’s 5 and one that’s 3, been 2 years since he left me.” whyyyy did those lyrics echo in my mind years and years before, foreshadowing exactly what was to come?

Christmas work party, same thing.. I saw you two talking across the room. You “just happened to bump into each other.” she’s a chain smoker, something you detest. You tell me stories about how one of the other guys at works gets blow jobs from her in the parking lot on lunch break, were you really telling me about what you two were doing, or were you just taking sloppy seconds? 

Look at this God forsaken mess that you made me!

the night before our son turned one, his first birthday party you were “at the gym” passed out in the parking lot. You were lying. you were cheating on me for over a year. After my father passed away. Finally telling me that my weight gain was a problem for you. But I didn’t see you helping me at all, you never took the kids for a few hours so I could go on a run, what did you do for me? 

That’s the thing about illicit affairs... stolen stares, they show their truth ONE single times. & they lie and they lie and they lie a million little times. Your new relationship is built upon a million little lies. If she cheats with you, she will cheat on you. And just so you know, as fast as he left me & his children he will leave you EVEN faster for the next skinny girl that comes along. If you haven’t noticed, it’s great and freeing to not have any “baggage’ holding you down. She fights you whenever the kids take time away from you. She fights you about me... still. To this day. foundation built on a million little lies. 

part 2: Adam

You know me. You’ve know me for years. We dated... we lost touch. We got back in touch, we kept in contact. Wished each other well when our lives took off with others. When our children were born. Nothing but love for each other, always. You found this video of this woman who was an artist... years before she had left the love of her life somewhere. She’s meeting with people and staring into their eyes for a minute. A million strangers, one minute at a time. Then she locks eyes with the lover that she lost all those years ago... and they lock eyes again- it was the most powerful and magical video and feeling that I have ever witnessed in my entire life. It’s the way we would lock eyes with each other oh so many years ago. You said you hoped that it would be our story. 

https://youtu.be/mEcqoqvlxPY

One night I received a call from you, after 5 plus years of not hearing from you. I thought someone must have died because you called repeatedly until I answered. At the time I was pregnant with my first child. It was actually the only night Mike and I had ever spent apart our entire relationship. timing... was it fate? You told me that you were sorry for how we ended. How you would tell your grandkids one day that the love of your life was me. A Californian girl that you were too stupid to not fight for. You told me that every night when you see the moon and the stars you think of me, and you wish and hope that I know and feel that you still love me, and pray that I think of you when I see the moon and stars, too. It was the most romantic thing that had ever happened to me. I remember wishing that every single girl in their life gets a phone call like that. You said “Bella, when you see the moon and stars, I want you to know that I’m looking at it too and thinking of you, and that no matter where you are in the world... know that I LOVE YOU with all my heart, and I will until my last breath.”

You were my best friend 3 states away; you were there for me when I was breaking up with Mike. You came to California to see me. You told me I was the love of your life; that you were already in contact with a lawyer to divorce Volde (short for Vodlemort) you told me all about how awful she was, not supportive. I tried to be the voice of reason. to coach you through different ways of communicating with her, to save your marriage. You said you did therapy and nothing changed. I told you that if I could go back in time, I wish that mike would have just been honest with me. If you’re not happy- say something. Before it’s too late. Before you cheat and take everything to the next level. You told me that you moved to the first floor- I saw your room. I saw the boxes,.. the text messages. We FaceTimed enough to me to feel like you weren’t lying to me about any of it. but 3 states away and both of us with kids- we were best friends and nothing more. what more could we be? 

You were the one who said that you wanted two years. Two years and you would be divorced and move out to California to be with me. My childhood best friend happened to move to the town next to yours... and she paid for me to come visit. I had no intentions of seeing you, of meeting up. But YOU made a point of ensuring that it would happen. I said lets meet for coffee. You asked me to meet you at a local soccer field, you wanted me to see where you grew up playing and where you would go when you missed me most. I agreed, but that we would go straight for coffee then lunch. You had nothing else to do for the day and asked if you could invite yourself over for BBQ and such. I didn’t think it would be a good idea, drinks and time alone with you would leave me too vulnerable. 

we get to the soccer field and we hugged for 17 minutes! and then you kissed me and told me how much you missed me. I asked what was the deal with you and volde, you said you got your own apartment with your brother since he divorced his wife. So I let that kiss lead to more. I let you in.. too easily.. I had no regrets and felt like everything that had led me to that point in time was an invisible string leading me back to you! 9/1/18, we saw each other for the next 3 consecutive days until I flew back home. I came to visit again not long after that. we were constantly on the phone, FaceTime, and texting. we spent hours just loving each other from near and far... Hours together just tied up under the sheets, hours on end with out going out to eat. hours just basking under the sun picnicking and cuddling near the river. 

I was in a full fledged long distance relationship, waiting for this man to tie up “his loose ends” until he would move here to be with me. We talked about everything, we talked ALL the time. So how I missed any warning signs is beyond me, and how you fooled me into be the OTHER woman is beyond me. Because you weren’t separated, you weren’t living in an apartment with your brother. That first day we reconnected, was your wedding anniversary! Who does that. I hated myself... for allowing anyone to ever make me that person that I have hated more than anything in the world. I would never ruin a family. I would never cheat with anyone. 

I never felt like I was stealing stares, or clandestine meetings. 

Don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby. Look at this God forsaken mess that made me. You showed me colors you know I can’t see with anyone else. Don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby, look at this idiotic fool that you made me. you taught me a secret language I can’t speak with ANYONE ELSE. And you know damn well, that I would ruin myself a million little times. 

I would’ve lied for you. I would’ve protected you had you just be honest with me. But you made me out to be the bad person, you did that to not only me, but to your wife and your kids and for that... I will never forgive you. 

[the-bummer-set]

Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet Part 11 Finale.

1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10 

For more Stranger Things Story See Master Post: Here

Paring: Steve Harrington x Reader

Synopsis: You’re Chief Hopper’s niece, called in from Philadelphia to help him out with Jane. You are finishing your senior year at Hawkins. This is what ensues…

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of divorced parents

So fun fact Author’s Note:  I might have a whole idea for a second story on this or I might take bits and pieces from my idea to make a bunch of one shots. Please for the love of all things Stranger Things, give me some feedback... I had a good time writing this story and I want to thank those who have followed me since the beginning and a big thanks to to those who joined in along the way. I love you all. Let me know what you think and don’t forget to stop by to chit chat from time to time!

  Anyways.. here’s Wonder Wall...  just kidding.. its Aint Seen Nothing Yet....

_____________________________________________________

Graduation was coming quickly. You stood in front of your bedroom mirror testing your cap and gown, it was all so overwhelming. Not only was the idea of school being over, but also maybe your time in Hawkins. You could still get into Drexel. It might be a later semester, but it was still feasible. What about Steve though? And Jane? Hopper? The kids? You shifted the cap a little to get your tassel to sit perfectly proudly showing off the gold 85.  Go to school in Philly, come back home on the breaks.

  Home. You didn't ever think Hawkins, Indiana would be home. Sure, your grandparents we're buried there. Everyone knew your mom and your uncle. But, wasn't Philadelphia home, literally home your whole life except for the less than a handful of times you spent in Hawkins as a kid. After your dad left your mom for the west coast, she stopped coming back to Hawkins, too painful. She would say. She was too embarrassed that the husband she had left home for left her alone in a city with a little girl for some California Dreamin' slice of surfer girl.

  You shook your head. No need to drudge up the past. You haven't seen him in over a decade. It felt like you hadn't been "home" in over a decade either. You forgot the sounds of the buses and sirens and horns blasting out on the streets of your South Philadelphia neighborhood.

  There was a soft knock on the door, "Come in." You turned to look at the guest. Hopper leaned on the door frame.

  "You look like your mom did when she wore her cap and gown." He smiled reminiscently. "So, have you given anymore thought to after graduation?"  You heaved a heavy sigh and took the cap off before sitting on your bed. "I don't know. Part of me wants to go back home, the other part of me thinks this is home."

He nodded sitting down on the bed next to you. "You know, you can stay here as long as you like. I like having you here kid." He ruffled your hair.

"I love being here. I just don't want to leave my mom."

"You know, I actually just got off the phone with your mom. She was asking me how much you wanted to stay here, if you had any ideas if you wanted to go back to Philly or not."

  "I have to."

 "Why? For her or for you? You know, your mom hasn't been back home here in 12 years, this graduation is her homecoming. Think it over is all I'm asking kid. You fit here." He patted your head again and left. ______________________________________________________________

You were sitting in your normal booth with Steve at the diner you had your first date in. He wouldn't take his eyes off of you and it was driving you crazy.  "Can I help you Harrington?"

  "I don't know, can you Y/L/N?"

  "Well, I've proven a couple of times the answer to that is yes." You winked gaining a smirk from your boyfriend.

  "You're perfect." He spoke softly.

  "Not even close."

  "No seriously.." Steve continued to look at you adoringly.

  "Steve I know what you want to ask, and I still don't know."

  He sighed and leaned back in his seat. "I love you..."

  "I love you too."

"Then stay here with me. Please."

  "Steve...."

  "Why is it so hard?"

  "I don't know."

"Do you not want to be with me?"

"You know I do."

"Tell me you will stay with me."

  "Steve can we please not do this right now?"

"Then when? When do you want to talk about this? Graduation? Right before you leave for the airport?  Long distance phone call from Philadelphia telling me how it wasn't easy but breaking my heart over the phone seemed best."

"I'm not going to do that to you... I wouldn't do that to anyone. Can we please just enjoy our time together, please? Please?"

  "How can I truly enjoy this when I know it will probably end soon." He folded his arms and he was absolutely right. What you were doing was a million shades of messed up. You felt stupid. Maybe, you shouldn't have fallen in love with him, if you even considered for a minute that you were going to leave again come summer.

  "What if I promise you this?" You looked up at him, he raised his eyebrows. "If I decide to go back to Philly, we do the long distance thing for a while and see what happens."

"That isn't much of a promise... that isn't even a good compromise."

  "I know it isn't." It was your turn to fold your arms.  "You don't have plans for the summer. Come visit me. If I go." 

  Steve pondered the situation for a few moments. He wasn't completely sold on it, but he would take it for now. "You're not entirely off the hook yet, Y/L/N/"

  "I know Harrington, I know." ______________________________________________________________

  It was finally over. All that time you spent in school, doing homework, studying, tests, forced friendships, and extracurriculars, done. You had hugged the few friends you did have then proceeded to find Steve. Also clad in his cap and gown you smiled, throwing yourself into his arms and kissing him.

  You made your way through the crowd out to where proud families waited to congratulate their graduates. Your mom stood next to Hopper and Jane, already conversing with Mr and Mrs. Harrington. You could tell she had cried. She always cried at events for you. You kindergarten graduation, your first middle school dance, your first date, your first break up, literally every milestone, your mom cried.

  You introduced her to Steve and she seemed impressed. You had told her so much about him on weekend after 9pm phone calls and he lived up to everything you had said. He was polite and insanely handsome, she would gush to you later that night when your goodbyes were done and the celebration was winding down.

  Your families took you both out to dinner. Where your mom was recognized and spoken to by what seemed like everyone. She genuinely seemed happy to be home. Maybe, the embarrassment was gone. Not that she really had anything to be embarrassed of.

  The diner was packed but your normal booth was still surprisingly open. Everyone ordered and began casual chit chat. Dinner tasted amazing, as usual, you smiled watching everyone enjoying each others company, until you looked over at Steve. He was quiet.

  "I'm going to go out for some fresh air." You spoke slightly louder than the group and excused yourself making your way to the door. In a matter of moments, Steve was next to you outside on the park bench.  "What's the matter?"

  Steve sighed. "You're going to leave."

  "I'm not sure yet." You looked up at the stars. 

  Steve looked over at you, sliding closer and turning our face to look at him. He kissed you softly. Breaking it quickly. Then again, deeper. You couldn't catch your breath, his hands pulling you as close to him as possible. Heated, passionate, desperate. "Please. Don't. Leave. Me." Broken between gasps for breath and the desire building up between the two of you.

  Suddenly a succession of taps rattled against the window behind you. You both broke away with a jump, turning to the noise. In the window you could see your stunned families looking at the two of you, Jane dying with laughter.

  "I'll call you tomorrow." You said to Steve, I promise I will tell you my answer then. "I love you." You kissed him one more time as your party walked outside.

  "I love you too..." Steve responded before getting into the car with his parents. ______________________________________________________________

  That night you were laying awake trying desperately to come up with a solution that would make everyone happy. Jane was passed out. You had never known anyone to fall asleep as quickly as she did. It made you smile that she finally had enough peace to just conk out like she did. You decide that just laying in bed wasn't going to solve anything, so you got up and went out to the living room. You saw your mom sleeping soundly on the couch. You slipped your shoes on and went outside to sit on the porch.

  It was surprisingly cool outside for a night in June. The fireflies were still up, flashing patterns randomly around the ferns. You could easily see yourself staying in Hawkins. Staying here, building a life with Steve in a small countryside house, where the fireflies danced in the fields every summer and where the snow fell heavy every winter.

  "What are you doing up?" Your mom's voice barely a whisper in the night.  "I just couldn't sleep."

  "What's on your mind, honey?"

  "I don't know what to do. Part of me is longing to go back home, the other is screaming for me to stay here. I come here and this fits too." You sighed, almost crying.

  "Well, you know what my dad used to say? You can't ride two horses with one ass." She laughed a genuine laugh puling you closer to her.

  "What parts of you are telling you to go to back home to Philly? Your head or your heart?"

  "My head..."

  "And your heart wants......?"

  "I want to stay here Momma." You looked at her, her face looking older than you remembered but still young and bright like it always has been.

  "I figured that." She smiled warmly. "That's why Jim and I have been talking so much lately. I call him in between our calls. I didn't want him to tell you about it though. I wanted to know from him how everything was going with you. It started after your, accident..." She traced the scar on your hand lightly with her fingertips. "He told me all about you and Steve and the kids, and Jane and how genuinely happy you seemed here. I haven't seen you truly happy in forever. He told me that you could have a great future here, he even told me he would get you a job at the police station as a secretary."

  "I don't want to leave you though."

  "Is that what is making this so hard for you?" She looked at you almost appalled. "I think it is time we made some changes, don't you? I'm selling the townhouse. Once Hopper told me everything, I knew that you were going to want to stay herein Hawkins, and in all honesty, there is nothing in Philadelphia for me anymore. My job? I can transfer to a firm over here, I've already talked to them. Jim has been helping me look for places to live." You looked at her in disbelief. "Unless you truly want to go back to Philly, I haven't made any completely final decisions yet. I want to know what you want." You threw your arms around her crying.

  "I want to be here, with you, and Uncle Jim and Jane...."

"And Steve?" She smirked hugging you tightly.

  "Of course!"

  You both shared a laugh and she wiped your tears away. "I can't leave Philly for good until the townhouse sells though." She spoke sternly. "But, the real estate woman said that it could be sold by the end of the summer."

  You nodded. "We can go back to Philly for the summer, then turn right back around and start a life right here in Hawkins?"

  "Or I can go and take care of it, get the movers to pack everything up and be back here as soon as I can."

  "No. I want to go back to Philly for the summer... I need to say a proper goodbye."

  "Maybe bring Steve out for a few weeks." Your mom mentioned.

  "Maybe!" You were giddy with excitement. You could finally tell Steve you planned to stay right here in Hawkins, with him.

  "Go get some sleep. We can discuss everything tomorrow." You kissed your forehead opening the front door for you. You climbed into your bed and sleep came quickly, almost as quickly as it did for Jane. ______________________________________________________________

The next morning you and your mom discussed everything over breakfast with Hopper and Jane, both of whom seemed as excited about it as you were. Jane even more so maybe. When the table was cleared you called Steve. He agreed to meet you at the park. This news was better said in person. If you weren't going to break his heart over the phone, then you sure as hell weren't going to tell him this over it either.

  He was sitting on the park bench where you first kissed, he looked nervous. Most likely thinking this was the last time he was ever going to see your face. His hands were shaking. "Hey Y/N."

  "Hey Steve." You smiled sitting down beside him. You wanted to blurt it all out right there, anything to calm the nerves he seemed to have. The honeysuckle smell was intoxicating. The park was alive with color. It was amazing how beautiful it was now, compared to the Christmas lights that flooded it the first time you came here.

  "You wanted to talk?" He slipped his right hand in his pocket, then took it out again.

  "I'm going back to Philly for the Summer."

  He groaned heavily. "I knew this was going to happen..."

  "Steve, I'm not done."

  "For Christ sake Y/N... do it like a band aid. Just make it quick."

  "Steve, I'm helping my mom pack this summer, then we're moving back here to Hawkins once the townhouse sells."

  "What?" He turned to you stunned.

  "I'm staying here in Hawkins. I'm not going anywhere, except to pack up and help my mom with selling the house. Then I'm here, in Hawkins, for good. With you. For as long as you want me. I couldn't leave and I won't leave." He jumped up and pulled you into his arms twirling you around kissing you deeply. 

After a few seconds of pure bliss, he set you back down. With your feet planted firmly on the ground you smiled at him. So perfectly in love. "So, if you're staying now I can give you this!" He spoke excitedly. He slipped his hand into his right pocket again pulling out a navy blue velvet box. You looked at him terrified. "It isn't what you think it is... not quite." He chuckled softly. He opened up the box and showed its contents to you. Inside was a white gold necklace. It was a bar of gemstones, his and your birthstones with a diamond on each side. Simple yet elegant. "Maybe one of these days it will be something else in the box, but for now. Just this." You blushed. You loved him, but marriage wasn't even a consideration yet. "Besides, now I understand why Hopper called me three days ago asking me to consider going to police academy. He said if you decided to stay you would take a job at the station as the secretary...." He kissed you softly. "I might just take him up on that offer."