#How to cure OCD

[kind-of-a-shitty-wizard]

i know its probably been done to death but i love the concept of the shivering isles as only a realm of "madness" insofar as no one in tamriel has a concept of what neurodiversity or mental illness is lmao

[lonniemachin]

now. i'm saying this with the first caveat being that i'm not a behaviorist. and the second caveat that i am well aware he fucking sucks. but maybe he could cure my OCD

[salamometer]

ok well i will say at least when i still had school to worry about my spirals(?)(episodes?) were forced to simply be cut short or i'd fail and die but now i literally have fuck else to do except sit in my room and stare at the wall and Think.about things i dont wanna think about. i could go outside and think too. thats an option. but i'll still be thinking.bummerrrrrrrr.

[retrosabers]

𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬.

*relationship & smut hcs written with fem!reader in mind*

contains: a lot of angst (mentions of insecurity, past trauma), some relationship fluff, 18+ SMUT CONTENT BELOW THE CUT. MINORS DNI (praise kink, dry humping, fem receiving oral, a tinge of dirty talk)

word count: 2.2k

a/n: if you had a dollar for everytime i apologized for not posting, boy would you be rich LMAO

this writer’s block is no bueno. but, i can sense my bucky era coming back full throttle and i think he might be the cure. enjoy these unnecessarily angsty hcs in the meantime ;) and feel free to share any of your own!

GENERAL/PERSONALITY:

is very fond of the outdoors. he’s not a “take a hike and run a mile” kind of guy, but he gets genuine enjoyment and relaxation from sitting on a park bench and breathing in the fresh air and soaking in his surroundings. one afternoon you surprised him with a trip to a botanical garden on the outskirts of the city and he absolutely loved it. you don’t think you’ve ever seen bucky more at peace than when he was wandering amongst the greenery without an ounce of tension in his body.

can’t stand clutter. once he warms up to acquiring more belongings, everything has its designated place and it needs to stay that way. call it a mild case of ocd, or an undying need to control the ins and outs of his day to day life, but bucky can’t even think about shutting down for the night if his apartment is a mess. any files out on the table get tucked away in a well organized filing cabinet, dishes are dried and placed in the cupboard, laundry is either in the hamper or folded neatly in its respective drawer. he keeps everything as neat and pristine and possible for the sake of his sanity.

one of the only useful pieces of advice he retained from therapy was journaling. bucky still struggles a bit with verbalizing his feelings, so he often just writes them all down in lieu of talking it out. after he realizes just how much it works, he starts to journal about his days in detail. doesn’t matter if he’s feeling calm, or anxious, or how mundane the itinerary is, he makes sure to document it. partly because of the relief it brings, and just in case something happens to his memory again.

secret candle enthusiast, except it’s just one specific scent. you bought it for him as a housewarming present and he was absolutely certain that it was going to smell atrocious. what could possibly be so great about amber vanilla musk. turns out it’s the most perfect gift you ever could’ve given, so much so that he snuck over to bath and body works the next day to buy another one. the aroma fits him in a way that’s indescribable, plus it makes his apartment feel more like somewhere he wants to be rather than has to. it’s become a running gag to gift him one for every special occasion, and he always accepts it with a small, appreciative smirk.

this man is a real life disney princess. animals follow him EVERYWHERE and he’s got no clue as to why. you say it’s because they can sense at his core that he’s kind and gentle, and he always waves it off with a frown and a grumble (and a blush he desperately tries to hide). he feeds all the strays on his block, and eventually caves and brings one of them home. when you went to his place and found a tiny white kitten sitting on the counter, you thought you were hallucinating. then bucky walked in and gave a little scratch between her ears and it all pieced together.

“i knew it,�� you mutter knowingly, eyes fixated on the way she preens from his touch. “you’re just a big ol’ softie.” bucky doesn’t offer any sort of rejection or rebuttal, only a halfway pointed stare before simply scooping the little animal into his arms and showing her off to you like she was a rare jewel.

he is very opposed to listening to current music, and the only way you can even remotely convince him to give things a try is if they’re on vinyl. it’s a happy medium, because even though the tunes may be vastly different than back in the 40s, he still has the familiar comfort of a record player. it’s still an uphill battle to get him to listen to anything made after 1950, but persuasion comes a bit easier when you pull out a record from your personal collection.

*psst. i have a fic about this you can kinda read about this here*

introducing him to doordash was a mistake because this man racks up an insane charge on his credit card with takeout. he hates the unnecessary socialization aspect of ordering at a restaurant so you best believe those delivery apps are his best friend.

loves to bitch and complain about maintaining his bike when in reality he enjoys it far more than he’d ever care to admit. he likes being able to fix something; to put his hands to good use and they actually have a positive impact instead of negative. offers to help any of the old timers at the va with their bikes if they have any trouble.

you know how some people get seasonal depression during the winter months from the bleak weather? bucky has that times a million, because the bone chilling cold never fails to trigger his ptsd, and send him right back into reliving his hydra days of being frozen against his will. when you catch wind of it, you make it a note to try and spend as much time with him as you can; make sure he’s not alone or that he at least has something else to occupy his mind other than his traumatic memories as the winter soldier.

IN A RELATIONSHIP:

old fashioned in the best way possible. while he strongly agrees with most of the 21st century’s stance on gender equality, he’ll never stop believing it’s a man’s job to take care of his woman. don’t get it twisted, he never tries to stifle your independence; it’s one of the many things he loves about you. but bucky can’t help but be a little “old-timey”; whether that be paying for your meals, or encouraging you to take a day off to relax while he’s working. it’s one of the only things he’s happy to have hardwired in his brain.

not entirely fond of pda but will ALWAYS have a hand on you when you’re out and about. usually a protective arm slung over your shoulder or a hand pressed into the small of your back. something that keeps you close to him for safety reasons, and also to let everyone else know that you’re taken.

doesn’t like to admit it but he can be a tad bit possessive. when you’ve spent nearly a century having zero control over your life and your choices, being territorial is inevitable. bucky will be damned if he loses the one good thing he’s ever had, especially to some punk who needs to learn how to back off. it’s a bit irritating at first, but once he lets his walls down and confesses the reason behind his actions, you let the man stake his claim every now and then. only because you know there’s no toxic intent behind it and because it’s lowkey a little hot.

#1 cheek kisser oh my GOD. this might not make sense to some people but if you’ve ever seen grey’s anatomy, derek has the most gentle way of kissing meredith on the cheek and that’s exactly how i picture buck.

the “i hate everyone but you” boyfriend (except he’s not really mean to anyone per se, he just does a complete 180 and turns into a big pile of mush when you’re around.)

king of random gestures. he loves making you happy and will take just about any opportunity he can to see you smile. you got a raise at your job? there’s a bouquet with a note waiting at your desk. sometimes you’ll come home to little “just because” presents on your dining room table because bucky can’t help but find little glimpses of you everywhere he goes. it’s his unspoken way of showing just how much he loves and appreciates you.

when he’s tired and grumpy he 100% does grabby hands (with a sweet lil pout might i add) to get you to come into bed and it’s the cutest thing ever.

sam wasn’t kidding when he said bucky’s got a staring problem, but it’s much more endearing in a romantic context. he finds you so beautiful, so mesmerizing; how is he not supposed to stare? and it won’t always be because he’s admiring you externally. sometimes he’ll be so caught up thinking about how lucky he is that you; sweet, kind, funny, and caring you, chose him as your person. he can’t help it if his eyes are glued to you while he’s pondering. everytime you catch him, he breaks out that shy little smile of his, and you find yourself falling in love all over again.

“you’re staring y’know,” you tease, feeling your face warm under his observation. he just shrugs, gaze unwavering as he saunters closer. “can’t help it.” he always take pride in watching you grow flustered as he closes the gap and presses a sweet kiss to your lips.

hot take: everytime i see “doll” used in fics for him i cringe real bad. i see bucky as more of a “honey” and “sweetheart” kind of guy. more honey than anything. in all honesty, i don’t see him breaking out pet names often, but if he’s going to, it’s one of those.

throws you over his shoulder like it’s absolutely nothing when you’re being difficult or arguing because he knows it’s a way to help playfully ease tension, as silly as it is. if he can get you laughing then you’re not mad, and if you’re not mad, he can reason with you a little better. it also leads to some very delicious sex afterwards when he conveniently drops you onto the mattress.

he’ll do the sweetest thing where if your hands are full this man will come up behind you and either put your hair in a braid or a ponytail (a pretty decent one might i add) if you need it away from your face. it’s always sealed with a kiss to the crown of your head and a squeeze of your hip, and never fails to give you butterflies.

SMUT:

i swivel back and forth between thinking that he’d be a bit hesitant or shaky with intimacy or that he knows how to please a woman in under five minutes. i honestly believe it’s somewhere in the middle; that while he does indeed have experience from his whore days back in the 40s, nowadays he’s not as willing to get to that point with someone unless there are deep feelings involved.

with that being said, when bucky decides to take that step in your relationship, boy does it take you by surprise. there’s a level of confidence that comes with being able to satisfy someone with such skill and ease, and he’s got it down pat. he’s even a little bit cocky with it, looking down at you smugly after your first orgasm, and it only amplifies your already flaming attraction to the super soldier.

nine times out of ten, sex is focused on your pleasure; he’s not cumming until you’ve cum at least once, and he’s not giving you a half assed release either. no, he’s working hard to make sure you see stars every damn time.

pussy eating king and i don’t think i need to elaborate on that.

is always down for a good dry hump. bucky loves kissing, kissing you more than anything, and one day he was particularly worked up, and it just…well it just happened. he was bright red once he realized what happened, but you quickly quelled any embarrassment he felt when you expressed that it was insanely hot. he didn’t even remotely understand why, until the next time it occurred. you were the one who came prematurely. and that, was when bucky understood the arousal behind it. now he’s got no qualms about having a good old fashioned makeout that may or may not end with a shared orgasm.

praise kink praise kink PRAISE KINK. it’s something he tries his hardest to hide but the boner he pops whenever you tell him he’s doing a good job in non intimate settings, and the increased speed of his thrusts when it happens during sex, are a dead giveaway. you tell bucky he’s being so good for you, making you feel so fucking good, and that man’s a goner. in his brain, it’s refreshing, exciting almost, to be told that he’s doing the right thing after a lifetime of being forced to make the wrong choices. what better place to hear that he’s right on track than when he’s with his lover?

hung. as. fuck.

i don’t foresee him being very vocal, but when he is, jesus take the wheel. somehow he always knows what to say and when to say it, no matter how few and far between the occasions may be.

“that feel good honey? yeah that’s right it fuckin’ does.” “always gonna take real good care of my girl.”

i don’t care if he’s got the serum stamina i 100% see this man conking out after sex. while he may be able to last a few rounds, the second you call it quits, the exhaustion overtakes him and he’s snoring into your pillow, but not before he pulls you close and peppers your face with kisses, muttering a final “i love you” before succumbing to slumber.

thanks for reading! <3

taglist: @dameronology @j4desblurbs @pandapetals

[vintagecandy]

1920s Edward Nygma, A.K.A -- The Riddler! ( I will try to make this one slightly more brief lmao ) ☆ ETSY // COMMISSIONS

So when it comes to the Riddler, ordinarily, I always struggle with him aesthetically, because he doesn't have as much obvious themeing as "southern halloween" or "the entirety of alice in wonderland", and so I knew I wanted to take advantage of how severely I am rearranging all the rogue's aesthetics to give the Riddler something specific and time period appropriate to visually do, yknow?

In my mind, when I think of the Riddler I think of... technically winnable but highly tilted competitions of wit. Almost like a rigged game. That, combined with a very cocky "wise ass" personality. So! I knew pretty early on I wanted him to be a carnival barker! ( Puzzles and riddles and things of that nature were more common as a pass-time back then ) I considered giving him a straw boater instead of his usual bowler hat... but the bowler hat is so iconic to him and time period appropriate, so I left it. I think it still gives carnival owner, tbh, just a little more greasy than cute. Which fits, frankly. Yes, so although carnival imagery is associated with the Joker, the Joker is, of course, a silent film comedian ( in loving homage to his origin ), thus freeing up the funhouse for Edward. Although, he's no clown, he's more the one making a fool out of you.

Edward Nygma, as an orphan immigrant of Irish descent, came to America with nothing but the clothes on his back and his eyes on that shining city on the hill, the beacon of opportunity, and above all-- the land of meritocracy. Of course, however, reality set in after he stepped foot off the boat. It also didn't help the city he set foot in was Gotham. Despite being an engineering prodigy befit the rapidly industrializing city of the future, he ran into bad luck after bad luck, constantly seeming to stumble on his way up the ladder as opportunities slipped away and seemed to be given to-- in his mind-- less deserving men. With his frustration mounting, and a compulsive mind that never seems to let him let any insults to his pride go, it all comes to a breaking point when one of Gotham's biggest corporations scams him out of the patent for one of his innovations. Its only then does he finally realize what the "land of opportunity" really means.

Giving up on the "honest man" approach, Edward resorts to cheap cons, eventually building enough success to open a carnival of games, mysteries, snake oil, and of course, riddles-- Taking on the performer name "The Riddler" as a face for the event. A big, shiny bauble to lure in the dumb masses to willingly fork up their money to him. After all, if they were stupid enough to fall for it, they deserve whatever happens to them. However, this was all a front for the far grander scheme he constructs to take down the company who wronged him all that time ago. Because who would ever suspect a two-bit carnie could be capable of such a thing?

But, careful as he was, stirring trouble that big was enough to bring the attention of the Bat, eventually-- of course-- leading to the reveal that the Riddler anticipated their arrival and turned his carnival into a puzzle laden death trap. Even though Batman wins, because of course, he does incidentally ( or perhaps on purpose ) reveal to the public that the Ed is the real genius behind his stolen tech, thus leaving Mr. Nygma laughing all the way to the mad house. Even if he still doesn't get to own the patent.

Edward has a more... modern and subtle mental illness, being his OCD and other symptoms, and I feel a corrupt 1920s mad house that only vaguely cares to cure its patients would struggle to even understand exactly what the source of his more erratic behavior is coming from. He's constantly tense, speaks a mile a minute and for long periods, and is prone to sudden and aggressive outbursts of anger. They will likely acknowledge he seems obsessive, hyperactive, and prone to grandiose thinking but consider him a less hopeless case compared to say, Jervis Tetch.

However, his alignment lands him squarely in the anti-society section, thus aligning him with his soon to be sometimes-partners in crime, Jonathan and Jervis.

[dearreader-12]

I find the parallels between the two oldest Spring siblings to be absolutely fascinating and how Alice was able to show through the both of them how relationships can't "cure" mental illness.

In Solitaire Tori mentions that there are movies she watches in which the main characters problems are seemingly all solved once they get into a relationship. We see that as Tori gets closer to Michael throughout the story her depression doesn't get better (you could argue that it actually gets worse) up until the end of the story where she is on the roof of the school. Because in the end Michael's affections don't solve her problems, only she can do that by reaching out for help from other people such as Michael and Charlie. She doesn't suddenly find the will to keep living because of her love for Michael its only when she decides that she wants to keep going for herself that things change for her.

On the other hand we have Charlie who insists that he is fine and doesn't need anyone to worry about him. In the end, just like Tori, Charlie only begins to get better after he reaches out for help and confides in people how he truly feels. Like with Tori, his ED and OCD doesn't "go away" because he gets in a relationship (like Tori it only seems to get worse after he is in a relationship).

Both siblings needed to reach out for others for help, their partners don't suddenly arrive and all their issues go away. Their partners are there to help them in whatever way they can, but in the end its up to Charlie and Tori to take their own futures in their hands and ask others for help. Falling in love doesn't magically make your mental illness disappear, and I am glad that Alice addresses this in their books.

[oretskov]

𝜗𝜚 you won't lose me to thunder or lightning ࿔

since my followers of absolutely zero, a.k.a, no one, asked — here's everything you need to know about bat from this mediocre reality !

wow! a blog where i can openly talk about myself and all my others lives and be neurodivergent-ly free? *holding butterfly* is this a sanctuary?

so — who am i? i go by bat here but i may reveal some of my other dr names here and there. there's a trend of having names beginning with T, R or A in my drs since i feel like they're all variations of my cr name. i'm nineteen and a desi girl. pronouns are she/they but honestly my gender is 'pls see me for me and not what's under my pants'. i am a writer (if anyone wants, i can share my fanfic blog) and also been part of the editing community since 2018!

i'm a proud and almost stereotypical intj, though i don't know chess as well as beth harmon. i'm a ravenclaw (shocker) and if i were in camp half-blood, i'd be an ares kid who disowns that side of her to become a hunter of artemis. scorpio sun, cancer moon and aquarius rising — GOD i'm a caricature of a brooding weird girl in a film probably well loved by incels. yes, i have ocd.

my holy trinity is vivienne westwood, shelley duvall and stevie nicks — don't ask me how i was doing on december 29th, 2022 and july 11th, 2024. the only men i truly like are kurt cobain, jeff buckley, gerard way and tobias forge.

okay rapid fire round ! here's majority of every piece of media that i like.

wallows. fleetwood mac. nct. ghost. ethel cain. nirvana. the cure. hozier. fiona apple. sturniolo triplets. dylan is in trouble. sinjin drowning. slushy noobz. danny, kurtis, drew. brittany broski. hthaze. watcher. daisy jones & the six. harry potter. narnia. alchemy of souls. titans. x-men. avatar. assassination classroom. extraordinary you. scream. spiderverse. the maze runner. tokyo revengers. the queen's gambit. alien stage. five nights at freddy's. resident evil. a good girl's guide to murder. dc comics. grishaverse. the last of us. hadestown. heathers. mobile legends: bang bang. babel. wicked.

i know i already mentioned the grishaverse in there but i love it so much that it needs its own paragraph. my favourite ship ever is alina & mal. my username is a combination of their surnames. this account was originally a side blog for them. i quote the shadow and bone trilogy like it's the bible. it's so perfect to me that i don't dare shift there — it doesn't need a single bit of change. rain ghoul is my mal <3

𝜗𝜚 but you could to crowded rooms ࿔

my top four on letterboxd are easy a (2010), about time (2013), real steal (2011) & before sunset (2004). here are some characters i relate to heavily —

✶ malia tate. teen wolf.

✶ violet harmon. american horror story.

✶ jo march. little women.

✶ beth harmon. the queen's gambit.

✶ harry potter. harry potter.

✶ karen sirko. daisy jones & the six.

✶ stephen strange. marvel cinematic universe.

✶ ian gallagher. shameless.

✶ laura kinney. marvel.

✶ rue bennett. euphoria.

yeayea i said i was a writer but this intro was ass. i didn't say i was a good one! okay no honestly i'm just bad at talking about myself. also, english is not my mother tongue i swear.

[transgenderer]

Just finished Maria bamfords "sure I'll join your cult". Read the first third years ago and then fell off but it was worth finishing. I feel like with mental illness there's a desire to imagine oneself as someday cured. And some people get cured! But many people do not get cured. I don't think I will get cured, realistically speaking. But it's easy for depression brain to spiral when facing the idea that one may never be cured. Which is not necessary! You can live a...symptoms-managed life! It can be...okay! Even pretty good! Like it sucks, the way any chronic illness sucks. But it doesn't have to suicide suck. It can just be like...this big thing you deal with, and work around. Idk

Anyway the memoir is about her life and functioning and not functioning as a bipolar ocd person. The writing style can be a bit grating, but her underlying perspective, of acknowledging how bad, sometimes unfixably bad, mental health stuff is, but not in a despair way, just a frank way. It's nice!

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Hey! I was hoping you could write something for Marc Spector/Fem! Reader (all 3 boys) where the reader unknowingly does something which upsets the boys, and they kinda pull away, but after the reader keeps asking them about it, they spill (Maybe Marc would feel bad about being upset yada yada yada).

Yooooo, my HEART! What are you trying to do to me? (affectionate)

Pull Away

Marc Spector x GN!Reader • Rating: PG pals •Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | requestinfo• ko-fi •

Summary: Headcanons of when there's an unintentional upset with the Moon Boys.

A/N: I've changed this a little, sorry! I hope that's okay, it sort of went and did it's own thing.

There some talk of OCD. I have OCD, and only found out quite recently that people with autism and adhd are a little more likely to develop OCD than someone who doesn’t. (You’re also more likely to develop it if you have other mental illnesses, like depression/anxiety etc.) Obviously, this is just my own little headcanon but the layout of Steven’s flat does remind me of my OCD hoarder tendencies, while Marc’s minimalism makes me think of how when I was a very young adult I tried to ‘cure’ my ‘messiness’ by going so minimal it was like I had nothing. (Spoiler: it not only didn’t work but made me very sad.)

Warnings: Marc being sad and not so good with his feelings, swearing, a little bickering, OCD talk, over use of italics, typos, not beta read, railroad sentences, please let me know if I've missed a warning!

Word Count: 995

I feel like Marc doesn’t like expressing himself very much, especially when it’s a ‘negative’ emotion. 

Which means he’ll bottle it up and self internalise it.

This becomes a problem, because even if you do little things that you have no intention of upsetting him, he won’t tell you when you do them. Which means you’re gonna do them again. And he’ll get upset again. And it’ll just go around and around in a vicious circle. 

So much so that he’ll start getting a bit resentful that you’re still doing it, even though he knows logically there is no way for you to know that it’s upsetting him. 

So the internalsion and beating himself up will turn into him being very low, and quiet and giving you the silent treatment. 

Now, he’s not trying to give you the Silent Treatment ™ as a punishment, he just worries about his own reactions (terrified of ever raising his voice in anger to you, or having any kind of disagreement, let alone argument) so he thinks it’s best if he doesn’t talk, doesn’t interact with you. 

He tends to fade back and let Jake or Steven front most of the time. 

“Where’s Marc? Is he okay?” 

“He’s fine, Love.” “He’s well, Amor.” 

But neither of them really knows, they are just trying to comfort and reassure you because, in all honesty, they don’t know either. 

He’s giving them the silent treatment too. 

If you do something to upset Steven, unintentionally or not, he’s telling you. He’ll try not to let it bother him, try to not tell you, but all that lasts the grand total of 2.6 seconds. 

“Love, can you not do that, please? It’s just it upsets me, yeah?” He’ll fiddle with his hands a little if he thinks it’s a ‘silly’ thing. 

But’ll smile when you say of course. He’ll also talk about it in more detail, happy to explain why something bothers him, even if he’s not 100% sure. (He’ll start talking about his physical reactions, “it’s just when you touch that part of my back that way it feels all funny, like I want to be sick.”)

If it’s something that is more to do with an ‘unhealthy reaction’ that’s bothering him (OCD talk here) then he’s also open to discussing it when you prompt him. 

“Why don’t you want the cups here?” 

“Because they don’t go there?”

“Okay, is this a ‘they don’t go there because this is the best place for ‘or a ‘they go there in this way or something bad will happen?’”

“Erm… the second one.” 

“Okay.” Lots of hugs and reassurance. “Do you want to put them somewhere different to fight the OCD?”

“No. But let’s.” 

Jake is a little more likely to stew a little when he’s upset than Steven, but he normally will come and speak with you very quickly after taking a small breath. 

“Amor, please do not do that.” 

You know when something really bothers him because he speaks completely blankly. There’s no emotion and his eyes look empty, as if he’s glazed over. It’s part of his defence mechanism. 

When he’s like this you try to speak as calmly and softly as you can. You once turned a bit quickly when he spoke to look at him and his flinch nearly broke your heart. 

He knows you wouldn’t strike him, but he can’t fight the muscle memory. 

You offer physical contact by holding your arms out to your sides (not in front of you) so that he can initiate it if he wants. Which 99% of the time he does. 

He doesn’t like to speak about the reasons something is bothering him until later, after he’s calmed and his heart has stopped racing. Sometimes this takes a few minutes, other times hours or even days before he feels ready. 

He started to write whatever bothered him, summarising it in a sentence on a scrap piece of paper and pins it to the fridge to let you know he will talk to you about it and that he wants to. He just needs time. 

When Marc has been hiding for a while he starts to feel guilty about it more and more, which only makes him want to stay away from the front even more as well. 

Steven tells him off for sulking.  

Jake tries to reason with him.

In the end, Marc only fronts when he feels ready. 

Very rarely does he tell you what was wrong. Mainly because it doesn’t want to bother you with it. 

Sometimes if you do something he doesn’t like and Steven or Jake are close enough to the front they will be the ones to tell you. 

“Marc doesn’t like that.” 

Marc gets moody with his headmates for ‘speaking for him’.

“Not like you were gonna do it yourself mate, was it? No. You were gonna go and piss off and sulk.” 

“Steven,” Jake is ever the voice of reason, can feel how Marc bristles underneath their skin. “Marc needs time sometimes, you know that.” 

“Yeah, but he’s got to learn to communicate too. Can’t be bloody trying to get everyone to read his mind and then getting upset.” 

It starts a bit of a heated discussion that you can’t hear. 

But you do notice how Marc tenses up.

“Hey,” you nudge your arm into his softly and smile when he looks up at you. “I won’t do it again, okay?” 

He smiled weakly and nods, taking your hand in his and playing with your fingers. “I’ll try to tell you what’s going on more…”

“It’s okay,” you pause, “You know what? How about when I do something that’s upsetting you don’t have to speak, or explain if you don’t want to, but just let me know by signing? That way I won’t do it again.” 

Marc nods and you teach him the sign language for stop in your language. 

It works well for you both.

@pleasurebuttonwrites @raven-rk @campingwiththecharmings @alexxavicry @whatthefishh

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@novarosewood

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[timeslipcamp]

thoughts on episode 15

this post will contain spoilers and rambles about how much i love rui read at your own risk

he's only at the beginning i know LET ME LIVE

loved the lil walk with rui. i love that dude i wish we could have seen him before he was cursed. the bittersweet "i used to do that all the time" when he was talking about researching his curse 😭 can we cure him too please

this was funny as hell no way does haku have dad energy, he has jealous energy

these two lines honestly just feed into my theory that it's a very understated staff vs ghouls atmosphere (not so understated i guess) and that haku is working for them. traitor 😔

RUI IS ONTO HIM. haku always just knows when to appear, huh? and this isn't the first time, we run into haku everywhere. why is he always out walking? what is he looking for? rui might know, he's in the shadows after all.

i am genuinely curious about the wisteria taking people though. why would they mention that? what does that have to do with anything? is it only certain people?

would love to know why subaru interrupted zenji like that, even mc noticed that was out of character for him. i get the feeling there's more to this place and subaru's past then he let on, but it could also have just been a throwaway red herring line to get us to be more suspicious of the subaru stuff that was going to be revealed later. but honestly my main concern is that zenji and jiro have not only never been to a museum, but they've never been to an amusement park 😭 let them have fun!!! let me take them out!!

haku being insistent on the folk tale channel is interesting, though i'm not sure if it was just to show character traits or if it's actually for the plot. sometimes dialogue is just dialogue, ya know? weird that haku had him record a folk tale so insistently and then never tell us which tale. sus 🤨

this chapter also seems to spend a lot more time on the interaction between the ghouls, which im not mad about. it's always fun to see how the writers balance the mission and also character development. love a good monster of the week show.

i fucking laughed out loud when subaru popped up that was genuinely the funniest thing this whole episode

also not to be such a haku stan when i'm very clearly team traitor!haku but

how come every time he looks at us it's so soft like man cmon please make it easier to hate you. stop being so nice

honestly the more this whole subaru thing goes on i really don't think he's suspicious so much as he's just so terrified of losing control that it's become an obsession.

my whole take on the subaru thing centers around anxiety and poor coping mechanisms. i'm hesitant to say it's ocd because of how mental illness is usually portrayed in horror media, but it definitely feels like the anxious spirals that kind of cycle on obsession. especially once it comes out about the scandal he was supposedly involved in. if you already have anxiety about how you're perceived and something like that happens on such a major scale that you have to step away from the public eye, (and especially after doing something like losing control) it's not a huge leap to think it'd almost become a trigger response. especially the cabbage on the burger part on the table--you see reactions like that all the time. i won't go into a full psychoanalysis, as i'm not a psychology expert, but that's how it reads to me. so far. he's still on my list lmao

also this campus interaction pointed out by @sane-tkdbblog is a lot more interesting now

regardless haku needs to shut up, there's way better ways to get people to stop with the self deprecation 😭 haku pls. still though it was interesting that haku thought it was serious enough that he asked us if we wanted to keep working with them. was it because the violence was that serious? was it a test to see our loyalties and where they lie? was it him being selfish? who knows with haku at this point

more fuel for my traitor!haku is being blackmailed theory. easiest way out is going along with it to save himself.

what i REALLY want to know more about is what zenji's referring to!! whose sos did he miss? is that what led to him dying?? zenji TELL ME

super dark story in this one as well, had my phone screen covered for the last few parts lmao. also INSANE ending, love a cliffhanger, but again i think subaru's probably just going ro try and do something else to gain control of a situation again. post incoming about the tree of severance

🌟10/10 for spooky ghosts

🌟10/10 for zenji's outfits (and everyone's really)

theory posts to make still: subaru's demon, further traitor theories, the defunct houses, tree of severance, and why i hate the teachers. also another one about taiga lmao

asks and dms are always open!

[librarycards]

thinking of that post about how liberals will call leftists addressing violently unequal systems of production and exploitation with responses like "CALVINIST!1!!!" or the even less serious "let people* enjoy things!1!!" and how connected it feels to the pathologization of, well, awareness - mercy - willingness to sacrifice personal convenience for the sake of collective care. veganism? must be the result of or precursor to a scary, scary eating disorder. COVID masking? in 2025? must be severe OCD, get em to a psych ward, force them to breathe your nasty germ-breath. aware of how much white supremacy wants to kill you? daring to fight against it publicly? LOL, as if - gotta be schizo. any protest, any refusal, any critique of the hegemonic limits of ethics/morality must be met with swift diagnosis, removal, "cure." to have a problem with the order of things is, as always, to be the problem.*

-

*quickly: what can we infer here about who does and does not count as "people" within the liberal imagination?

*paraphrasing Sara Ahmed

[ranticore]

If I hadn’t already done so and been given an OCD diagnosis, reading STBH/TVM and relating as hard as I do to Islin could’ve been the thing that made me realize I should start therapy. Because even if I couldn’t put a name to it, I feel like you drove home how miserable it is being Like That…. at least for the people around you if you won’t work on it for your own sake. So good job???

Yep i put a lot of work into my portrayals there. so what i wanted to show with Islin is like. ok sure he might be annoying to live with (you might not think you'd feel that way but let's say you don't wanna humour him), and his behaviours might be frustrating, but he has to live with that 24/7, he doesn't get a break like the ppl around him do, so he has it much worse. genuinely when describing his chapters to one of my friends in the early days of considering posting the book for others to read, i said "i feel like this will be annoying to read, but that's the point, it's by design. but i don't know if people would find that enjoyable or entertaining" and my friend said "it will reach the people it's supposed to reach". so there ya go

(anon's other ask & more in depth stuff under the cut)

One of the main impetuses for writing Islin's arc specifically was a kind of exploration of how supportive friendship can't actually cure someone.. you can't Power Of Friendship your way out of a hole that your friends - inadvertently, with all the best wishes and love and empathy in the world - are partially responsible for putting you in. If your friend comes to you for reassurance, and you hate seeing him in distress, your instinct will always be to reassure him and offer what comfort you can. But this has a legitimising effect on obsessions - because, in the mechanics of ocd, a compulsion is the behaviour which eases the stress of an obsession. The alleviation of stress is brief and only gets briefer the more the compulsion behaviour takes place. I know you know this, anon, but just for other ppl who don't - seeking reassurance, in this case, is a compulsion. so it turns into a feedback loop. that is why having someone go "shut the fuck up that's so fucking stupid" can help you break that loop, but (without pre-negotiation, which can be done) your friends who don't understand the mechanism of your mental illness probably won't go that route.

now u might go wait a second, félix would absolutely tell him to shut the fuck up, and he would, but his attempt to reassure his friend is to debate him on it - a theological debate or whatever else the obsession is about. "shut the fuck up that's so fucking stupid, god doesn't think xyz about you" is still legitimising the obsession by taking it at face value. you will never be able to debate or intellectualise your way out of it

[mxmorbidmidnight]

⛧𓋹⛧𓋹⛧⛧𓋹⛧𓋹⛧⛧𓋹⛧𓋹⛧⛧𓋹⛧𓋹⛧⛧𓋹⛧𓋹⛧⛧𓋹

𝑇𝐻𝐸

𝑆𝐻𝐴𝑃𝐸𝑆𝐻𝐼𝐹𝑇𝐸𝑅

ᚠ ᚢ ᚦ ᚱ ᚲ ᚷ ᚹ ᚺ ᚾ ᛁ ᛃ ᛇ ᛈ ᛉ ᛋ ᛗ ᛏ ᛜ ᛚ

I greet thee dear, welcome to my blog. I am The Shapeshifter, The Wizard Goose, Plague upon John of England *menacing honking*. I am a Witch and a feral beast. I spend these days in which I suspend casting runes, spitting tricksome prophecies and harassing the English monarchy. How I have come here I know not, but joyous I am to converse with thee. I hope thou may find a thing of sorts here, whether it be comfort, whimsy, disturbance or perhaps the cup of dice.

𓋹

𓋹

I am called many names. Shapeshifter. Versipellis, Gestaltwandler, ilcruthach, Vormveranderaar. All words meaning Shapeshifter. As well as Werewolverine, Lovecat, Dracaena, She-wolf and Jackalope Hare. These names I did snatch into my claws while doing historical, mythological, folkloric and etymological research. If you wish to know the etymology and history of these names look upon this post

🕸️What art thou to call me? however you please. Choose one in the previous list or assign me thine own title. As long as it is done with respect I shalt answer. To be given a name is a great honour. 🕸️

⛧𓋹⛧𓋹⛧⛧𓋹⛧𓋹⛧⛧𓋹⛧𓋹⛧⛧𓋹⛧𓋹⛧⛧𓋹⛧𓋹⛧⛧𓋹

I fall under the definition of nonhuman, I take many forms. Most notably a goose. Much of the posting thou may see upon here is I, The Mighty Goose, Plague upon John of England violently honking or screeching in Shakespearean. I often find myself taking forms such as that of a siren, Dracaena, Wolverine, Harpy, Jaguar, Bin Chicken, Hyena and jackrabbit. The forms in which I might take are boundless as the ways of water across this sphere. For I am whatever I please.

ᛐᛜᚢᚦ

☾ I bear connection to mythological and folkloric shapeshifters, as to be they are ballads of myself or perhaps a close friend ☽

My gender is fluid. The pronouns I do favour art he/she/it, preferably alternating between the three as I cannot be confined by one singular. I am polyamorous and queer. OOooOooOh hOnK hOnK

As of now I am writing The Shapeshifter. A ballad describing my identity. Here you may find what of it has been released. For the past four years I have been crafting a novel series. It is influenced by folklore and mythology, containing queer, nonhuman and disabled characters.

𝑃𝑂𝐸𝑇𝑅𝑌 𝑆𝐴𝑀𝑃𝐿𝐸𝑆

The Shapeshifter's lament (part of the Shapeshifter)

The Shapeshifter

Vivamus Moriendium Est

Fight Dog

The Verdict

𝑀𝑌 𝑁𝑂𝑉𝐸𝐿

Lore

Character intro

I am disabled and neurodiverse. I have FND, tourettes and POTs and I am a cane user (in need of a wheelchair but unable to access). I have OCD, ADHD, sensory processing and likely autism. I will often post about disability advocacy on this blog. I am apart of the goth subculture (my favourite bands art The Cure, Inkubus Sukkubus, Sisters of mercy, Bauhaus, Scary Bitches, Coctaeu twins). I am interested in classical literature, History, Folklore, Paganism, vulture culture, Etymology, Shakespeare and gothic horror. I will on occasion post images of my goth makeup upon this platform. I art a minor, be freaky and thou shalt be CURSED I say! grime of a chicken hearted mutt upon thee for thou art liver bellied and foul as a cattle foot in a yew stump.

ReQUESTS (honk)

The Challenge of the goose, tis a challenge where I the tricksome goose shalt grant thee a riddle. Simply request for one in mine ask box or say "I call upon the challenge of the goose". I will trial thee with a riddle I have written, if thou does succeed I shalt grant thee an honorary goose title.

In addition if thou art curious about my writing, identity as a shapeshifter or wish to ask me any questions, do so. Tis no reason for shame, inquiry and curiosity about what we do not understand is a wonderful thing.

Goth resources

Boundaries:

I AM A MINOR!!!! I will not private message with adults, adults can interact with my blog but private messaging is off the table. DNI: perverts and bigots. I don’t mind images of dead animals as long as it isn’t a dead goose. Please don’t send me pictures of dead, injured or cooked geese.

Tags:

#the shapeshifter's riddles : my poems

#morbid lore : to do with my ongoing ye olde goose feud with the entirety of Britland.

#challenge of the goose: answering riddle requests

#morbid memes: memes I have made myself (as seen below, mostly to do with geese)

#morbid's gaggle : interactions with moots

#morbid midnight : I tend to tag all my posts under this tag.

#morbid Reblogs

And now I must return to unionising the cows under lesbianism against John of England. Upon thee I wish plentiful fruit, soft sun upon thine cheek, much bounty and many adventures to seek. May the skin of your palms be coarse to the Strike of a bramble. So says The Shapeshifter

[scrupulosity-comics]

hey is racism one of your obsessions? also white and ocd. if it is, how u cope with it? i'm really afraid all the time to hurt my loved ones who are black people, and they're the majority of my loved ones. and how do u identify whats racism from whats an intrusive thought?

Most of my race-related OCD is abstract stuff like “if I move out of my parents’ house and try to live my own life outside of their control, I will have to find somewhere I can afford to pay rent, which will probably mean moving into a low-income neighborhood, which would mean inadvertently helping to gentrify the community, which would gradually push the original residents out of their homes and disrupt community ties and support systems and creating housing insecurity, so therefore I can’t move out or move on”.

I think that’s just part of a larger existential terror that I can only ever make the world worse by living in it—a net harm to the universe, molecule by misspent molecule.

I have been letting this ask sit in my inbox for weeks now because I’m convinced that anything I say will be destructive. What if my answer enables or excuses racism? What if my answer fuels the anguish of the mentally ill?

The rational and compassionate part of my mind insists that your loved ones (and mine!) understand that you (and I) are white, and have likely dealt with white peoples all their lives, and are capable of judging for themselves whether you are good to them and deserving of their intimacy. It is impossible to go through life without hurting and being hurt by people you care about—always you will have blindspots and miscommunications and competing needs. That’s just part of the curse of consciousness and being a social species. We all get a little blood on our hands eventually, one way or another… friendship involves knowing this, accepting this, and committing to avoid it and then, that failed, to make things right.

Again: your friends know you’re white. They have reason to expect the best of you or they wouldn’t be your friends. They choose to have you in their lives; trust them to trust you, and to recognize the difference between a beloved friend struggling with a treacherous and unkind brain and doing their best in an inescapably racist society, and a racist who whose bigotry makes them unworthy of their time and affection.

I do think racism obsessions are a particularly difficult manifestation of OCD to cope with because they’re hard to discuss at all without feeling like you’re implicitly asking for absolution. With other types of OCD, it’s common to seek reassurance that what you’re obsessively afraid of isn’t true—but what feels more racist than asking someone to reassure you that you’re not racist…? LMAO.

They say the “cure” to OCD, such as it is, is just to learn how to embrace the existential horror of uncertainty. Tall fucking order. Hell on Earth! But in a bizarre way I have found the rhetoric that “everyone is unconsciously and incurably racist” to be unexpectedly helpful… there is no total psychological purging and mental purification we can undergo, no amount of ritual self-flagellation that will drive the demons out, no pristine state we can aspire to and hate ourselves for soiling. Only mundane everyday commitments to compassion and empathy and solidarity and cleaning up our messes. But even then, a thought isn’t a mess. A thought I’d not a thing that happened or a choice you made. It doesn’t represent an alternate timeline branching off into a parallel universe where you have acted on it and hurt people.

Earlier this year I was playing a video game—during my lunch break I got to wondering what happened if you failed a skill check that I had passed in my own playthough, so I looked up a clip on YouTube and was so triggered by the answer (the player character calls his companion a racial slur in the heat of the moment, without meaning to, even if you’ve played him as a committed anti-racist) that I immediately spiraled and was close to throwing up in the broom closet, and when I got home I opened my own save and tried to make the player character kill himself as catharsis. It was an incredibly unreasonable guilt response to a completely fictional scenario that I hadn’t even gotten in my own playthrough, but in retrospect it was a safe way to explore fear of my own internalized racism hurting somebody and what might happen if my intrusive thoughts came true. It sucked and it was terrible and I was angry at myself for being crazy about it, but it ended up being a small dose of exposure therapy and practice at not repenting for nonexistent through self-abuse.

I dunno. This has been a long uncomfortably personal ramble but I hope it’s helpful. I don’t know if your friends know you have OCD (or how it manifests) and I don’t know whether telling them would help. But allowing yourself to trust others to trust you is far more useful than beating yourself up for thoughts you don’t want. I have on occasion warned people that I am cautious about doing certain things with them—particularly drinking—because there is a risk that I may spiral and show symptoms humiliating and uncomfortable to both of us, and I don’t want to put them in a position where they witness or feel like they have to help me manage the white guilt elements of my disorder. These conversations have usually gone well, and the mutual understanding to boundaries takes some of the tension out, which seems to reduce the triggers. It’s messy and awkward and maybe it limits who is willing to be friends with me, but IMHO it’s better than surprising someone.

As for determining whether something is an intrusive thought or actual racism, I guess my answer is: does it matter? Would you manage them differently? Intrusive thoughts may be an evil voice in your brain, but racism is an evil voice in society’s brain.

[kiritila]

Could u share with us... your style headcanons... please...

ohhhh i have so many…

kyle fell first, stan fell harder

stan electric/acoustic guitar player, kyle bass guitar player

kyle bpd and ocd, stan clinical depression. BOTH AUTISTIC!

kyle transmasc he/him, stan he/they nonbinary/demiboy, both bisexual

stan likes trashy rock and nu metal. he loves the smiths, radiohead, fountains of wayne, bowling for soup, beck, oasis, sum 41, jimmy eat world, fleetwood mac,etc. also loves music like dmx, cypress hill, mcfly is his guilty pleasure

kyle likes rock too but also more electro inspired music. kyle likes weezer, stan has a complex about hating them. loves the smiths, radiohead, omd, abba, queen, the cure, the strokes, the beatles

kyle very tall and lanky, obviously muscular from figure skating. very very freckled. stan shorter and with a stockier build. has many moles

stan has piercings and loves cutting his own hair

stan has mexican/peruvian-american heritage, kyle has roots across europe. sheila is still from jersey but he has roots in ukraine and poland!!

stan is very sociable but clammers up easily. he does more of the talking for kyle generally but when hes feeling down or quieter kyle is the authoritative figure in their dynamic. kyle is also extremely persuasive and stan will do anything for him

both enjoy physical media, stan loves records and cds particularly.

stan collects hockey trading cards and has some slight hoarder tendencies. his bedroom is a testament to everything hes ever loved. sharon looks into it and closes the door. kyle’s bedroom is his calm space and is extremely tidy and clean. he has a couple of decorations relating to marine life and some family photos, aftdr the fallout every trace of stan was hidden in a box and shoved under his bed

stan and kyle both get very easily lost in video games

there is no talker/listener in their dynamic, theyll just talk over and over each other

sharon has a very soft spot for kyle but as they grow older and get closer again sleepovers only seem to happen at kyles. sheila is also incredibly overprotective of stan😭

ike teases kyle a lot and stan has to diffuse them

stan is dyslexic

stan goes to community college and kyle had ambitions of ivy league, but ends up staying closer to home after the events of no1sm. stan joins a college hockey team while kyle studies psychology

theyve both had multiple attempts at starting a band. their longest stint came with kenny on drums and marjorine on rhythm guitar, stan on lead/vocals and kyle on bass

stan loves dr pepper

kyle is very easy to make blush

stan likes trashy graphic tees

if kyle were a teen in the 2010’s and not a slowly adjusting adult he would be a secret love live fan and stan would piss himself laughing when he finds out kyle accidentally got hyperfixated on it. HES A RIKO OSHI❤️

self indulgent but stan hates driving but loves motorsports. he watches nascar with kenny and loves formula 1 too. hes excited to see what lewis hamilton does in the future and thinks jenson button is cute on the dl. he dgaf about sebastian vettel he doesnt know how much of my latest stan inspiration is pulled from bmw sauber seb and his early red bull days

stan hugs tight and hard, sometimes kyle is icked out by touch but is okay with it being from stan

stan is poor asf but his love language is gift giving

kyle is slightly neurotic about many things hes not normal

kyle LIKES YOGHURT

stan is almost impossible to wake up and sleeps like hes wanting to take over the whole bed

kyle is an incredibly light sleeper

ok oomf distraxted me i ran out of juice ill edit this if i think of more

kyle has a super deep connection with judaism and while he is a logical person he is incredibly faithful too

stan however was raised on loosely christian values

[stripedroseandsketchpads]

The hard thing about being religious and mentally ill is that people will always act as if the solution to your mental illness is to give up your religion and like... look.

A lot of mental illnesses will warp things which you value or care about deeply and turn those things into torment sometimes—and those things can still be a part, a valuable part, of healing when you are able to engage with them in a way that's healthy for you, and with awareness and if possible some guardrails and a support system too.

And that will always happen with something, because everyone cares about something. It's why people can have moral OCD while being avowed atheists; they still have ethics and values, with ideals and goals and doubts and fears connected to them, even if they're 100% irreligious about them. If I gave up going to church, I would not stop having moral OCD; I know this because I had it way way before I ever set foot in a church. What I tend to say is that "my OCD converted with me"—that is, my intrusive thoughts about morality and ethics weren't tinged with Christianity before I became Christian, but as I developed those values in a Christian context, the fears and doubts which fed my OCD also became tinged with that. Were I ever to leave the religion, I'm sure that would become wrapped up in it too.

At the same time, church is still my solace, my community and my fellowship. I would lose so much if I lost the people and the faith which have got me through my worst moments. I've stayed alive because I believe I am called (as we all are, in various ways) to try to do good in the world and I don't want to abandon that.

So when people act like the cure to my intrusive thoughts and compulsions around religion is simple, to "just quit church", or when they blame my OCD's very existence on religion, it's kind of maddening! Like no, I'm not going to treat my mental illness by uprooting my social safety net and cutting myself off from so many people who have helped me through this? What are you talking about? If you take the word religion out of it, it instantly becomes obvious how nonsensical that is.

I'm thinking about this because I also see it thrown around a lot with things like schizospec disorders or even mood disorders, where if someone has, say, experienced religiously-focused delusions during a period of psychosis that means that their religious belief was never "legitimate" and continuing to believe/practice is stupid to dangerous; or if you have a mood disorder or anxiety you must be depressed or anxious about being religious, when in fact your brain is just trying to latch onto anything to be anxious or sad about.

At the root of it it's all just the form of ableism which doesn't trust people with mental illnesses to have legitimate and deeply held beliefs, which disregards our wants and needs and opinions because surely if we think something it must be a disordered thought, if we believe something the belief becomes disordered by virtue of the fact that we're the ones holding it.

Of course it's possible, whether you're mentally in or not, to be in a place where a religious community or practice is harmful to you—I'm not in any way arguing against anyone leaving if they're miserable. That's anyone's right just as much as practicing is a right.

But leaving (or joining) a religion on its own isn't a "cure" for mental illness; treating mental illness is a way to allow us to experience life to its fullest, which for those of us who are religious includes being able to embrace and live out our beliefs in a positive, fulfilling way. And leaving isn't a decision anyone else should feel like they have the right to make for us simply because we have a disorder of some kind; that's pure ableism.