#I 100% believe this is the exact same scenes and I won’t let anyone take that away from me lol

[winnie-the-monster]

Lol now I can’t wait to find out if the, Charlie hearing Nick speak French scene is also in the show.

[emiewritesthings]

doctor, doctor - jay halstead

jay halstead x fem!reader

summary: in which y/n takes it into her own hands to look after a sick jay 

a/n: i’m not gonna lie i think this is one of my fav things i’ve ever written, i would really appreciate some feedback and p.s the beginning of it is based on that scene from brooklyn 99 :)

masterlist

“okay, it’s 10 o’clock, meaning halstead is officially an hour late to work,” y/n announced as she appeared from the break room with a mug of poorly made coffee. looking around, she had immediately distracted everyone in the room with her playful smile. “okay let’s do this, theories!” she encouraged, taking a sip with excitement, but immediately regretting it as s he spat it back in the mug and abandoned it on adam’s desk as she leant against it.

“uh, he forgot to set his alarm?” antonio suggested, willing to play along with the little game that y/n had created. however clearly his answer didn’t suffice as y/n scrunched up her nose and shook her head in disappointment.

“you are a detective in a unit that just last week rescued 5 people kidnapped and used as chess pieces in a human sized version of the game and the best you could come up with is he forgot to set his alarm? pfft, disappointing, dawson. who’s willing to take this seriously?” she scoffed, brushing his idea off with a simple roll of the eyes as the group laughed at her ridiculousness. 

“maybe he has been murdered by a gang looking for revenge.” adam piped up, earning a sudden and rather forceful slap on the back as y/n cheered. her eyes looking over at antonio as she gestured towards the less experienced detective.

“yes, that’s what i’m talking about. bit dark, ruzek, but better than dawson’s,” y/n hummed, adam clearly pleased with the praise he had received by the pretty detective. “any one else wanna shot?” she offered it out into the room, suddenly the sound of rolling wheels on the chair had everyone turn to face al who was munching on a ham sandwich.

“he walked into the middle of a drug ring, slept with the kingpins daughter and is now having limbs removed, one by the hour.” suddenly an eery silence fell in the bullpen as al suddenly disappeared back to his desk and everyone was left with an image that she was sure was burned on the inside of everyones mind.

“uh, okay, someone might want to arrange a psych check for olinsky asap,” y/n mumbled, pointing in the direction where he had once been and looking around as if checking that she hadn’t been the only one to hear al’s suggestion. “anyways, all of you are wrong. clearly he has joined a motorbike gang and now makes his money on the road striking off names on the government’s hit list.” 

just as the room erupted into discussion about how idiotic this conversation was, as well as their ideas, the sound of footsteps caught y/n’s attention as she arrived at her desk. however as he reached the floor, the reason for his absence was clear.

“woah, you look like death.” adam chuckled, it immediately being silenced as jay sent a deadly glare his way. with his skin paler than normal with undertones of green, a layer of sweat draped over his forehead. jay flashed as smile at y/n as he passed, reaching his desk and collapsing on his chair with a wince. 

as everyone went back to what they were doing, y/n found herself straying her eyes away from her computer screen for longer and longer periods of time until she found herself by his side with a sickly sweet grin, pun intended. 

“i don’t wanna hear it, y/l/n.” jay mumbled, massaging his temples with his fingers hoping it would somehow sooth his pounding skull. whilst usually he had every minute of his day just to hear the woman chat away about whatever crossed her mind, he had found himself in quite the state since last night, leaving him restless and irritable.

“believe it or not, i just wanted to make sure you were alright,” y/n’s entire demeanour crumbled as she melted at the soft features of his face that came with being so vulnerable. but from the look in jay’s eyes, it was clear he didn’t 100% believe her excuse. “and to ask what the hell you think you are doing here? you are sick jay, you need to rest.” 

it was very rare that jay found himself ill. in the years that y/n had been working by the man’s side, she could count on one hand the times she had seen him with so much as a cough. in fact she had called him captain immune system for a period of time when she realised he was pretty much indestructible. y/n couldn’t deny the concern bubbling in her gut seeing him so weak.

“i’m fine,” with her eyes slitted in a look that practically shouted ‘bullshit’, jay continued. “i promise, it’s just a little cold. nothing serious, i think i’ll survive.” he joked dryly, finding it incredibly hard to look away from y/n for her eyes were filled with a warmth that he knew was an expression usually saved for those she cared deeply about. 

“yeah well, you need to take care of yourself, jay, i’m being serious. chicago can cope if you just have one day off, get your energy back.” 

y/n was reminded of the times she had the exact same words spoken to her by the exact person that didn’t seem to want to take them onboard. every time she had so much as a sniffle he would be straight over with some soup that his mother used to swear by and the name of a box set that he would put on for the two of them to watch as he sat stroking her hair in order to try and convince her body to rest. neither of them had anyone else to take care of them, so had taken it upon themselves to be that person for the other. 

“now, i’m gonna go tell voight that i’m taking you home before you infect this whole office.” before he could object, she had already ran (not literally but jay was impressed by her speed walking) to her boss’ office. knocking on the door, with a sweet smile and a sea of words running off her tongue so quickly that voight had to agree just to shut her up, y/n returned by his side. “come on, germ face, your carriage awaits.” 

“you know i love it when you talk dirty to me, y/l/n.” winking at her, y/n giggled as she supported him back down the stairs and out of the station. the two chatted away, y/n explaining how she thought al was secretly a sociopath and jay filing her in on the newest instalment of his apartment block drama until they pulled up in front of jay’s apartment building. 

as they walked through the door, jay’s arm resting around y/n’s shoulders as he struggled to find strength, they managed to reach the sofa before y/n’s body gave up. both of them letting out large breathes before looking at each other and falling into laughter. 

“you hungry, i could try making your mom’s soup?” y/n asked, as she pushed herself up to look down at the man. her hair falling down around her face and tickling jay’s skin. “i’m sure it won’t be as good as her’s but i’m willing to give it a try.” 

the way she was sat with the large window gleaming light behind her, y/n almost looked like an angel. her eyes and smile were wide, with her beauty wrapping its hands around jay’s neck squeezing until his head felt light and he nearly reached up to touch her porcelain skin. but jay had noticed the sensation way before he was blocked up with a cold.

“yeah, uh, that sounds nice.” jay agreed with a minimal amount of sass, but y/n didn’t seem to notice as she moved off the cushions and towards the kitchen. she had pretty much memorised the recipe when jay had finally given it to her on her birthday after offering to pay for it multiple times. whizzing around the kitchen, she was too busy to notice the tired eyes admiring her from afar. 

jay wished his mom was alive to see the woman that she would have loved. all the times he had brought girls back to his family when he was younger didn’t add up to an ounce of the beauty and power that y/n held in her middle finger. the way she bit back at his wit, but also had the ability to spot when he was upset from the other side of the city. she was everything her mother wanted in a daughter in law, everything she wanted for her little boy. 

“okay, give me your honest opinion. i can take it i promise.” y/n sudden appeared with a tray that held a large bowl of the semi-thick orange liquid, a glass of water and a couple pills. approaching jay, she carefully helped him up from where he laid and placed it onto his lap. “actually that was a complete lie, do not tell me the truth. i may just cry.” 

“why thank you, nurse y/l/n.” he teased.

“it’s doctor actually.” she quipped back.

jay chuckled lowly, as he grabbed the spoon and took a large spoonful to his mouth. feeling the slight sting of his tongue at the heat, it was only when the flavours hit that he was suddenly transported to an earlier time in his life. a simpler time. only this time there was y/n by his side. 

“the verdict?” she prompted, taking a seat besides him, pulling her knees up to her chest. 

“not sure whether i want to tell you, don’t think you’ll fit in this room if your ego grows any bigger.” y/n grinned as she leaned over to press a kiss against his shoulder. jay closed his eyes at the contact, feeling the ache in his body freeze for a moment as it registered the tingling sensation. “all jokes aside, it really is good.” 

“i’m glad, your mother was a smart woman.” she nodded, leaning forward to turn tv on. jay continued to spoon the soup into his mouth, as y/n chose a show that they both had started together and had refused to watch another minute without the other. y/n leaned back making herself comfortable, having already texted voight telling him that she would most likely need the entire day off, and getting the go ahead, she had no plans other than being by jay’s side for the next however many hours. 

it was sometime in the early evening and the tv continued to emit light, but neither jay nor y/n was paying any attention to the drama. jay, with his head on y/n lap, was leaning into her touch as her short, thin fingers ran through the dark strands that sprouted from his scalp. his body wrapped in a blanket that y/n had grabbed from his room, he felt completely at peace. 

“you know what, i think you are more bearable when you are at death’s door.” y/n joked quietly, as the forest green eyes were exposed back to her own. jay groaned in annoyance, realising that there was no sweet y/n without the sharped tongue y/n. a trait he adored, but at his own expense. 

“and to think i was starting to think you had gone soft on me, y/l/n.” he hummed, wishing he could forever have her giggle on repeat wherever he went, for the sound made goosebumps run down his neck and down his arms, like some kind of magic that only y/n possessed. 

“as much as i love you, i can’t risk my bad ass reputation for you.” 

although jay was sure it was just part of her banter, the moment the ‘i love you’ fell off her tongue, he found himself wide awake, unable to push past the feeling in his gut as it looped over again and again in his mind. y/n could see the conflict in his face, as he glanced up at her with something she had never noticed before. 

“you mean it?” he asked. 

“mean what?” confused, her fingers fell from his hair, making jay regret ever opening his mouth.

“do you really, you know, love me?” he knew he had committed too far to try and retreat. maybe he could blame it on the fact he couldn’t think straight, although she was like a lie detector that wouldn’t let such a bogus excuse pass. y/n blinked down at him, watching as he sat up to look at her with a hunger that needed to be addressed. swallowing the lump in her throat, y/n nodded.

“of course, you are one of my best friends, jay.” it was true, but it wasn’t the full truth, both of them knew that.

“i didn’t realise we had started lying to one another,” jay’s eyes were soft, as he reached to place his hand against her cheek, smiling as she slowly leaned into it. closing her eyes, she tried to find what direction she was looking for, but didn’t dare take the first step. without even thinking, jay jutted forward and captured her lips before they could form a single syllable. 

gently, but passionately, jay and y/n moved their lips against the others. the feeling was ever-growing as the kiss deepened and deepened until they had no choice to pull back, deprived of their ability to breath. as jay’s eyes came back into view, y/n, for the first time in her life, had lost the ability to form a sentence. 

“we just...” she began but it ran off quickly. jay chuckled.

“we did.”

the two sat in silence, examining the other one’s face until y/n found herself moving forward until she was sat in his lap, legs wrapped around his waist as she pressed her lips against his. just like before their bodies and minds were set ablaze with desire and what had remained unspoken for what felt like forever. jay had nearly completely forgotten about the illness that had put him in the care of the woman that he craved more than anything else the world had to offer. 

as their lips parted ways, suddenly the air had thinned and everything felt... normal. jay’s lips were unable to break out of the large grin mould that y/n had put them in, which was soon mirrored by the young woman. a small giggle escaping her lips.

“if i get whatever it is you have, i expect the exact same treatment.” 

“only for you, doctor y/l/n.”

[telehxhtrash]

A masterpost on Togashi’s gay subtext and why it’s intentional.

Hi ! After seeing so many posts about Togashi dropping subtext about Killua's possible romantic feelings for Gon, I thought it'd be a good idea to make a sort of "masterpost" with all the subtext that Togashi has included into his work.

I usually see a lot of people trying to say that HxH isn't about romance and that Togashi isn't interested in writing romance into the manga, but when you analyze all the subtext that's been going on the further Gon and Killua's relationship progresses, I think it's incorrect to say that Togashi has never hinted at the possibility of romance in HxH.

This is going to be a long post, enjoy your read!

Also, please note that I will only base this analysis on the manga, so there can be no mistake that "maybe this is just something the anime made gayer" : i want to prove that the subtext is 100% intentional on Togashi's part.

I'd also like to mention, although I will analyze it further after listing the subtext, that Togashi is a VERY smart man. There are always little details in the story and/or foreshadowing that are easily missed at first but when you notice them, it truly makes you understand how much attention and care Togashi puts into his work. There are countless details and symbolism that are analyzed daily through wonderful meta posts, from the main 4′s birthdays and their link to their character or the religious symbolism in Kurapika’s story arc.... Togashi loves to foreshadow and plant little details into his work, so when Togashi plants subtext, I'm sure he 100% knows that he's writing it, and it can't be seen as unintentional.

I'll also link all my references for this post at the end of it, so feel free to read all the additional textposts and content if you want to know more.

Well, let's get into it!

EDIT : i can’t believe this post is still being used as a reference it makes me so happy... thank you so much !!! i edited this to tweak it a bit because i wrote this a while ago and the phrasing seemed off to me, so if you’re reading or re-reading this post, hi, welcome to masterpost on gay subtext 2.0 !

GREED ISLAND ARC

Greed Island is to me the arc that lays down the nature of Killua and Gon's relationship. It's during this arc that we get to see a bit more of what Killua thinks, how he's lucky to have met Gon and that he feels really grateful. Gon’s behavior in this arc is also very affectionate, with him always reassuring Killua about his place next to him. While the scene where Killua thinks "You've got it backwards, Gon, I'm the one that's glad I met you." can't be considered as subtext, I think it's something that lets the reader know a bit more about how Killua feels towards Gon. 

But other than this scene, which can clearly be dismissed as platonic, there are 2 more moments in the Greed Island arc that are layered in subtext.

• The Rainbow Diamond (chapter 151)

During their time in Dorias, Killua uses Risky Dice to gain cards from the slot machines. The first card that Killua gains is called "Rainbow Diamond", the description of the card being "A diamond that shines in a rainbow of colors. Propose with this diamond and she is guaranteed to say "yes"". 

There are 3 different things we can take from this panel. First, the card is a marriage proposal card, so it's obviously romantic in nature. Second, the object is a RAINBOW diamond. And third, Killua, wanting to keep the card safe, gifts it to Gon.

In short, Togashi sat down at his desk, decided to draw Killua winning a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL CARD (it could've been any card, but Togashi CHOSE to make Killua win a marriage proposal card) that has a RAINBOW diamond on it and made Killua gift it to Gon. 

While I personally don't think that subtext can be used to 100% ascert that Killua has romantic feelings for Gon, I think it's a funny little touch from Togashi, and I'm even gonna say a sort of hint towards how Killua's feelings for Gon are going to evolve in this arc and the next.

• “It has to be Killua” (chapter 166)

Now this is a scene that I've never seen anyone talk about, at least on Tumblr, but when I read a bit of analysis on it I was 100% convinced this was intentional subtext. I'm basically quoting here what this article explains, so if you want more detail, I recommend reading it.

As you probably recall, during their deadly dodgeball game against Razor, Killua decides to sacrifice his hands to ensure that Gon could use all his strength. When confronted about it, Killua insists that it's nothing, and Gon shocks him by saying that he knew all along that he was hurting himself for his sake. 

Gon then says that it can only be Killua holding the ball, and that it has to be Killua, resulting in Killua being absolutely awestruck and embarassed. I'm also going to talk about the anime adaptation for this one, because it's perfectly executed and translates extremely well the nuance that the second sentence bears. If you want to rewatch it, this scene happens in episode 70. It's worth noting that in the anime, we see Killua not reacting to Gon's first sentence, but losing his composure entirely when Gon says the second sentence. But why ?

The reason was lost in translation. His exact words are "Booru wa Killua ga motte-kurenai to. Killua ja nakya dame nan da.". Both sentences basically say the same thing : It has to be Killua holding the ball. That second sentence can be translated literally as "If it's not Killua, that won't do." However, the second sentence, in a different context, can also be used to say a totally different thing. 

While it's certain that Gon used this sentence in the context of the dodgeball match, the sentence "~ja nakya dame nan da" also serves as a confession of one's feelings in japanese. It's basically the equivalent to "you're the one for me". When you google the sentence, it turns up romantic songs, forum posts asking what it would translate to in English and posts on how to confess to someone. 

The sentence basically drowns in romantic subtext. As mentioned before, Killua has no reaction to the first sentence "Booru wa Killua ga motte-kurenai to.", but loses his composure at the second one, and I think that was a very deliberate thing Togashi wanted to convey : this sentence has an additional layer, and clearly Killua is taking it to heart.

I will come back to this specific subtext in a bit, because we can parallel it with another subtext-y situation, so please keep it in mind for now.

CHIMERA ANT ARC

Now onto the sad gay arc! This arc is so RIDDLED in subtext and parallels that it's making me lose my mind.

• Gon, you are light. (chapter 199)

This scene is just... So romantic in nature. I’m not too objective on this, but I really do believe that this moment is the exact moment Killua fell in love with Gon and started to realize he felt a bit more than friendship towards him. It’s Killua respecting Gon for who he is, realizing that he’s light and he’s always been, he’s the one who saved him and who’s always been so bright and optimistic and always makes the best out of any situation. In this scene, Killua lets himself drown in Gon’s light, allows himself to feel this “wow” moment of pure admiration and love, and it’s absolutely beautiful.

It's extremely important to take the context of this scene into account. What happened is that Killua, who has been struggling mentally for the entire series with the fact that he's always running away, ran away once more, leaving Kite to die with Pitou. This ENTIRE chapter is literally adults absolutely DESTROYING Killua, first Kite's troupe bashing him for leaving Kite behind, and then Netero, Morel and Knov coming in like icing on the cake telling Killua that "After all, he's just a kid", and that he should hurry up to his mommy. 

Killua is beating himself up for running away again, got destroyed by Kite's team and 3 extremely strong pro hunters. His morale is down in the drains right now. He expects Gon to be mad at him for betraying Kite, for running away once again, for leaving Kite to die alone and ripping Gon away from Kite : he expects that he'll lose Gon for his cowardice.

HOWEVER, the first thing that Gon says to Killua after having been passed out for god knows how many hours is "Thank you". 

Gon woke up and instantly eased up all of Killua's fears : he wasn't a loser for running away, and Gon was actually thankful for him. Gon, at this moment, was the only one that showed kindness, understanding and gratefulness towards Killua. Gon even goes so far as saying that he knows that Kite isn't dead, and that they have to help him. At this instant, Gon is truly Killua's saving grace. He's the one that trusts him with his entire heart, and believes in his choices when even he can't believe in himself. Gon is truly Killua's light at this precise moment, because he was the only one who supported him, trusted him and reassured him in this awful situation.

How can someone shine so bright in such a terrible situation ? How can someone be so positive that nothing bad will happen ? 

Gon asserting all of this makes Killua respect him a lot. Keep this word in mind, because it’s going to be important in the next piece of subtext I’m analyzing, because those two scenes canonically follow each other and are basically Togashi highlighting that something special happened when Killua called Gon his light, and that his feelings deepened.

• Introduction to Palm's character (chapter 200)

This piece of subtext is very very easy to miss but it's one of the most important subtext-y scene, because coupled with the “Gon, you are light” scene, it’s very clear that this dialogue is deliberately highlighting Killua’s feelings.

This chapter introduces Palm's character (which, imo, is a character introduced for the sole intent of being a catalyst to Killua's feelings towards Gon, but I'll talk about it in my post talking about the CAA parallels) - edit: i talked about this briefly here.

So, Killua having looked into Gon's eyes for like 10min straight and concluded that Gon was the light of his life a chapter ago, is now chilling with Gon as they meet Palm. 

Palm takes them to a café and STRAIGHT OFF THE BAT harasses them about how much she's in love with Knov. Like when I say harassing, it's literally a whole page of her explaining her feelings towards Knov. 

There are two interesting things that can be drawn from this interaction.

First, it's extremely easy to draw parallels between Palm's situation towards Knov and Killua's situation towards Gon. Palm starts by saying how amazing her master is, that she probably has special feelings for him but the most important thing is to respect the other person. Remember how I talked about how this last scene was Killua having a surge of deep, deep respect for Gon ? Palm makes sure to highlight that special word, that it’s important to respect someone when it comes to love.

She then goes on to say that she hasn't said anything to Knov, and never will. All of this adds nothing to the story, it's empty dialogue, Togashi could've introduced Palm in virtually any other way possible, but he chose to drag her and the gay duo to a café and make her have a monologue about love RIGHT after the extremely emotional panel of Killua declaring that Gon is his light just a chapter ago.

But there's more. Not only does Palm monologue for a while about love, but after finishing her monologue, this happens :

This panel features ONLY Palm and Killua, her looking at him like the psycho she is, and straight up telling him that "love can suddenly spark out of nowhere, don't you think so?". 

What's so interesting about this is the fact that Togashi made the deliberate choice to have Palm say this to Killua and Killua ONLY, which after the gay existential crisis he had last chapter, can very much be applied to his situation. Love DID spark out of nowhere, and Togashi wants you to notice. Togashi could've made Palm say this to herself, with no distinct listener like the last panel, but he made the conscious choice to draw this panel with Palm adressing herself to Killua SPECIFICALLY. 

Those two pieces of subtext, that fit perfectly together, make me believe 100% that Togashi knows what he's doing and he's not unintentionally planting gay subtext in his work. The fact that Togashi sat at his desk, drew Killua calling Gon his light, and then followed this scene with the introduction to a character who picks Killua apart to tell him that "love is something that just happens, don't you think?" is 100% proof that Togashi knows what he's doing.

• Date with Palm (chapters 217 and 218)

I think this situation has many layers, but many people still dismiss it as bro behavior so I'm gonna try my best to counter argue. First of all, and although that's not proof of anything, Killua looks EXTREMELY distressed by the prospect of Gon going on a date with Palm, but that can be counter-argued by saying that Killua is just worried because Palm is completely crazy. 

What I want to talk about is the scene that happens right after, when Gon and Killua go to the gym (because theyre DUDES YEAH WE WORK OUT NO HOMO), and the conversation casually drifts to Killua asking Gon if he's ever been on a date before, valid question considering what just happened previously. There are multiple things here :

1) Killua seems distressed that Gon has been on dates before. While it can be argued that it's a normal reaction because Gon has and he hasn't, I believe that Killua - who is in no way a normal person who would get flustered about "not having been on dates before a certain age" - would not feel uncomfortable that his friend is more experienced than him - especially when literal seconds later, he monologues about how he doesn’t care about dates and just wants to stick with Gon.

2) Gon then proceeds to ask Killua if he's ever been on a date, to which Killua responds :

What I want to highlight is the panel where Killua says "And the truth is, I want to stay by your side... Always...". Basically, what Killua is saying, is that he doesn't care about dates, all he wants to do is be with Gon.

I don't think this can be counter-argued as bro behavior, but with all the subtext I've explained before, this right here is pretty gay. Togashi put this panel deliberately to show that Killua doesn't give a crap about dates when he can stay with Gon, and with the "gon you are light" scene and everything in mind, this is another intentional subtext.

There's also the fact that Killua stalks the date like a jealous girlfriend - but I'm not gonna count that as subtext because it can be argued that he's just worried about Gon because Palm is insane.

• Gon is my best friend ! (chapter 219)

Remember how I told you to keep the "It has to be Killua" subtext in mind because I was gonna come back to it later ? Well.

During Palm's date with Gon, Killua runs into Rammot, who would definitely have ran into Palm and nenless Gon. Killua is forced to confront his worst fear : this is the moment where he knows that if he runs away again, Gon WILL die. Killua is literally overcoming his "programming", the physical representation of years of abuse out of love and care for Gon. He's ripping out the needle from his forehead out of pure, genuine care for Gon, because if he doesn't, then he'll lose him forever. 

Now, what I actually wanna talk about is this panel :

What we see is Killua thinking happy thoughts about all his adventures with Gon because he can't - won't - doesn't want to run away anymore, and all this for his sake. But what I wanna draw attention to is the dodgeball panel that's bigger than all the others, and the only one where you can actually clearly make out what's written : "Killua ja nakya dame nan da". 

Now, isn't that interesting that the panel that takes a bigger place in the whole panel is the one with this particular sentence? Remember what I talked about a bit earlier, about how "~ ja nakya dame nan da" is a sentence with a lot of romantic connotations (would pretty much equal to "you're the one for me" in English). Clearly this particular sentence stuck with Killua. 

I'm not completely objective on this matter since I firmly believe that at this point, Killua has romantic feelings for Gon, but I interpret this as another deliberate thing Togashi did : putting the panel bigger so we can see that it has a particularly significant importance to Killua, and Killua's state of mind right now (not wanting to lose Gon). 

In my opinion, two things happened here: One, Killua remembers this specific interaction because he knows how much Gon trusts him and he doesn't want to betray his trust. But I also firmly believe that Killua remembered this specific interaction because of the romantic connotation the sentence "Killua ja nakya dame nan da" has. Those words clearly shocked him, and I think he remembers them in this life-threatening situation, after the "gon you are light" scene, Palm talking about "love just happens", the "i want to stay with you, always" because he realizes that he wishes Gon would say that sentence in a romantic context, and not in the context of the dodgeball match, thus leading him to surpass himself to prove his love and perhaps live to see the day where Gon could say those words in that romantic context.

Now, of course, all of this is my interpretation, so it's really up to debate, but I really wanna highlight the fact that Togashi deliberately CHOSE to highlight this particular interaction between Gon and Killua, this sentence with romantic subtext, to lead Killua to finally break his chains and be able to be protect Gon fully. It’s also interesting to note that the 2011 anime adaptation also makes it a point to emphasize how deep these words stuck to Killua by making it the last flashback that makes Killua effectively rip out the needle out of his head. 

Also let's quickly mention the irony in the situation here : while Gon is on a romantic date, Killua fights to protect him, overcoming his weakness to prove his love. It’s not Palm who deserves that date, it’s Killua.

• A lovers’ suicide (chapter 286)

Now, onto the most important piece of subtext, that can not be counterargued as platonic in any way, shape or form. During the palace invasion, Killua leaves Gon's side, proceeds to go kick Youpi's butt only to have to fall back because he used up all his electricity nen. When Killua is charging up, he meets with Meleoron, and tells him that once he's done charging, he'll go back to Gon's side. 

They briefly exchange information about the battle, and then Meleoron proceeds to ask Killua what's the plan for him and Gon. That's when Killua explains that "Once Gon is like this, he won't budge an inch. Worst case scenario, it'll be a double suicide.". At worst they both die, cool. They “go down in flames together”. It’s actually much, much more meaningful than that.

The specific word that Killua uses for double suicide is "心中" (shinjuu), which is a heavily romantically connotated word in japanese. Shinjuu, also translated as "lovers’ suicide", is when two people die out of love, by the same method, because there's a belief that this'll allow those two people to spend eternity together. Shinjuu is a major theme of Japanese literature, and it is always used romantically. It's a very uncommon word to use to refer to two people dying together, because of its heavy romantic connotation, and because it always refers to double suicide committed by people bound by love. In literature, it always refers to two lovers, in love. If you want to read more on shinjuu, i suggest this and this, those articles explain its historic roots and the definition, also emphasizing the feeling of "oneness" that characterizes shinjuu. If you’re interested, I also suggest reading the japanese article that defines shinjuu, and hitting the google translate button, it has some pretty interesting sentences like “Shinjuu is traditionally committed by men and women out of mutual love, in the hope that they will be connected in the afterlife because they can't be together in this world.”

So basically, what Killua is saying is that he wants to go back to Gon's side to die with him, committing a "lovers’ suicide" because he doesn't want to leave Gon to die alone, and wants to die with him.

I also want to emphasize how special this word is to Killua, and that he and everyone around him know the special meaning of this word - In chapter 300, Ikalgo literally says "We were... No, KILLUA was ready to commit shinjuu with Gon". Ikalgo is really highlighting the fact that this word holds special meaning, especially to Killua, and that it was HIM who was willing to commit shinjuu by staying with Gon. Ikalgo and company dying with Gon wouldn't be shinjuu, but Killua dying with Gon would be, and Togashi emphasizes this through Ikalgo's thoughts.

This is pretty much the gist of it, but I suggest reading the wonderful post I linked in the references below if you want to know more about this specific subtext.

(edit : i actually wrote a post going a bit more into detail on Killua’s shinjuu wish if you want to read it here ! :3)

• “The one that Gon needs the most is you” (chapter 294)

I will go into this subtext more in details when I write the post about parallels in CAA, but I still want to talk about it briefly here.

Like I said before, to me, Palm was introduced as a catalyst for Killua's feelings towards Gon. Togashi purposefully wrote Palm as having romantic feelings for Gon to foil Killua's feelings for Gon and make him show jealousy towards Palm. 

To Killua, Palm is someone who stole Gon from him, he sees her as a threat because maybe she'll make Gon happier than he does ? (ofc we all know thats not true but Killua is baby) - Basically, Killua thinks Palm might be more important to Gon than Killua is, because he believes they are romantically involved. That's why when he sees her again later on, after Gon rejected his help, leaving Killua helpess as to how to save his dear friend, Killua sees Palm as a saving grace. 

He knows that if Gon sees Palm as a chimera ant, he will spiral down even more, so he tries to reason with her to get her to be gentle to Gon, because if not her, then who could? Palm would clearly be able to comfort Gon, with whom Killua believes is romantically involved with, better than him, right ? If Gon rejected Killua, then clearly Palm could help, since she seems closer to Gon (BECAUSE HE BELIEVES THEYRE DATING), right? 

This confrontation between Palm and Killua closely ressembles a situation like an ex confronting a new girlfriend - and I think this is exactly why Togashi wrote Palm this way. He wanted Killua to confront who he thought was a threat to their relationship, making him believe that this person who's """"dating"""” Gon is more important to him than himself, only to have her openly admit that she means nothing to Gon. The only one Gon needs is Killua.

And that, my friends, coming from someone you believe is romantically involved with your best friend (who you probably have a crush on), someone you're jealous of, the one you thought was the person most important to him, that's a pretty meaningful statement. 

Basically, what's happening, is that Palm reaffirms that Gon holds Killua closer than a potential romantic partner. And that's why Killua is so, so happy to hear that. He was questioning his entire relationship, questioning if Gon even cared about him, because he rejected him a few minutes before, but then his "rival" comes in and reaffirms that even she knows that no one comes close to Killua to Gon.

I also want to mention that this act of pure love (Killua only thinking of saving Gon when in a life threatening situation) is what made Palm come back to her human senses. d'awwwwww

• Illumi and Hisoka’s parallel on lovers who die of Alluka’s requests. (chapter 323)

Now onto the final significant subtext - while I don't particularly think of it as subtext-y, I know a lot of people have so I still want to include it here.

When Illumi explains Alluka's powers to Hisoka, he explains that there are two different types of linked deaths when a request is failed : 1) the person who failed + the person they love the most 2) the person who failed + the people they spent most of their time with. 

When applied to Killua, Hisoka naturally comes to the conclusion that no matter the outcome, Gon would always be the one dying with Killua, because he's spent so much time with him, and because he's the one that Killua loves the most. In the panel where Illumi explains this, we see a romantic, heterosexual couple  demonstrating the effects of not completing one of Alluka's requests, and thus the "most important person dying". 

While not making any true parallels, the fact that Hisoka, and the readers, are drawn to compare a heterosexual, romantic pairing to Killua dying with Gon because he's his "most important person" is an interesting piece of subtext.

_______

I want to finish by talking about Killua's birthday and how significant it is in my opinion. All the main 4 characters have birthdays that fall on specific dates, related to Japanese tradition, and often with events that can be associated to their character. Gon's is 5/5, which is Children's Day. Kurapika's is 4/4, the number 4 being considered an unlucky number, and this being an unlucky day to have a child. Leorio's is 3/3, Hinamatsuri (not really any main parallels here but still). But Killua's birthday is 7/7, and is the Japanese day to celebrate Tanabata. 

If you are not familiar with Tanabata, the story is as follows : Orihime is a princess who works for her father, working hard and well, but she laments the fact that because of her hard work she can't meet someone and fall in love. Her father arranges for her to meet Hikoboshi, allowing Orihime to leave because he expects her to come back to work for him, but the two immediately fall in love and get married, and she never returns. I won't get into the rest of the story as it's this part that interests me the most, but if you want to read more about Killua and Tanabata I suggest reading the post I referenced below.

Does the story of Orihime remind you of anyone ? Killua also works for his father, but laments the fact that he can't go outside and meet someone. His father then lets him go, saying, and i quote: "he will come back, because he's my son". Doesn't this remind you of the tale of Tanabata ? Killua's story references the tale of Orihime perfectly, and I believe this is intentional : Killua's birthday isn't of any importance to the plot, so why make it Tanabata, a day that celebrates a love story that closely ressembles Killua's story ? The answer is simple : subtext.

With all this in mind, I think it's pretty clear that Togashi is writing intentional subtext to hint at Killua's feelings being romantic in nature. Togashi is a master writer, he has years of experience, and I strongly believe he knows what he's doing and not planting unintentional subtext. He's a very smart man, and knows how all of this can be interpreted.

I will finish by saying that Togashi is NOT an author that would deliberately queerbait his readers. So many people dismiss the possibility of having gay subtext leading onto an actual canon gay relationship because "it's not like the author would ever have gay main characters". While this holds true for a lot of manga authors, especially shonen manga authors, it does NOT apply to Togashi. 

Togashi has always displayed interest in queer subjects and queer representation, putting trans characters in all of his major works (Miyuki in YYH, Mikihisa in Level E and Alluka in HxH). There were also canonically gay characters in his previous works : Itsuki in YYH, and a character named Kuramoto in Level E. 

Togashi also always had interest in mangas having BL elements, citing Maya Mineo's "Patalliro!" as a manga he was attracted to during High School. If you're unfamiliar with Patalliro, the story focuses on the main character's love life as a gay man.  He also admitted to basing Hiei's (YYH) design off a character from that manga. 

Last but not least, Togashi mentioned in a note included in volume 1 of YYH that he wanted to write a sports manga, called The Trouble Quartet, where basically all the characters are gay. Togashi said he based it off his own interests as a writer, and that while it was refused by Shonen Jump, he got deeply attached to the project and that he would love to explore this project in a different shape once he made a name for himself. I suggest reading this post because the parallels between The Trouble Quartet and HxH are HILARIOUSLY accurate.

In short, Togashi has always had interest in queer matters, and was always interested in putting queer representation in his work. After YYH, which was a terrible experience for Togashi as a writer, he managed to snatch a contract that basically allows him to do whatever he wants with HxH. Having always held dear BL matters but never being able to explore it to his full intent, I believe Togashi is exploring queer identity further with HxH, because Shonen Jump basically lets him do anything.

To conclude, with Togashi's past experience and skill, his interest in queer representation, and the amount of subtext surrounding Killua, I honestly believe that Togashi is trying to explore further queer representation, and I wouldn't be surprised if HxH ends with Gon and Killua becoming a canon pairing, whether it be delivered in an ambiguous manner or not. 

Edit : I actually wrote a post on why I believe it won’t be ambiguous, and that it’s truly never been ambiguous, just developing : here.

I hope you enjoyed the read, thank you for reading all of this, and feel free to show this to anyone who denies subtext in HxH !

REFERENCES

- "It has to be Killua" - Medium article, "Impossibilities in Translating Queerness : The Dodgeball Dilemma" 

- Palm's Date Scene - Reddit post, "Togashi's love of Ambiguity: Chapters 217 and 218" 

-A thematic analysis of Palm’s character : ”The Issue With Palm”

- Shinjuu - Tumblr post by hunterxhell, "A lovers' suicide, I guess." :  + the post that mentions Ikalgo talking about shinjuu 

- An analysis on different subtext-y situations

- Illumi and Hisoka’s parallel : here and here 

- Killua’s birthday : "Killua, July 7th, and the significance of his birthdate”

- Togashi's interview mentioning Mineo's Patalliro 

[vvitchering]

Did anyone ask me to write a whole essay about how Din’s creed and armor read as a metaphor for asexuality to me? No. Am I going to write an essay about that exact thing right now because I do this literally every time I find a new character I really like? Absolutely. 

(Disclaimer: I’m writing this based on my own feelings and experiences with being ace. Asexuality exists on a spectrum and not everyone experiences it the same way. I’ve chosen to interpret the character through the lens of my own asexuality. I in no way speak for all ace people, I’m just one nerd with a dusty English degree, a keyboard, and a hyperfixation)

So I started out just wanting to word vomit some character study stuff about Din because I want to eventually write fanfiction and I never feel comfortable just jumping in until I’ve thought long and hard about how I feel about and understand the characters involved. And then I got to thinking about how relationships are explored in The Mandalorian and something stuck out to me. The show never forces or even bothers to introduce romantic bonds as necessary to their main character’s development. Rather it chooses to focus on Din’s familial relationship with Grogu as the bond that saves Din from his loneliness and aimlessness. 

But I want to dig into that lack of romance a little bit and I want to do it through looking closer at Din as a character. What strikes me as interesting is he isn’t presented to us as the typical “lonely hero” archetype you’d see in Star Wars (or anything else, actually) He doesn’t seem to have much personal investment in his profession. He’s a bounty hunter because its a way to hunt beskar and a means of income for himself and his covert. That’s it. He doesn’t have any particular passion or interest in hunting and fighting, it just happens to be that, as a Mandalorian, he’s a trained warrior. Not a TON else you can do with that as your only skillset. 

We also establish early on that he’s a lot more sensitive and emotionally vulnerable than he lets on. He bonds with Grogu almost immediately. He doesn’t even hesitate to shoot IG-11 through the head when it threatens to kill the baby. This man saw an unattended infant in danger and said “it’s free real estate” and became a dad. 

So we KNOW he has an incredible capacity for compassion and affection almost from the get-go. And that’s reinforced time and time again throughout the show by his willingness to help literally anyone who needs it, regardless of the benefit to himself. So why don’t we ever see a romance?

It’s because he’s Mandalorian. More specifically, it’s because he’s the type of Mandalorian who vowed to live by a creed that prevents him from showing his face to any living being. On the surface, this could potentially cause issues with finding love and intimacy because it physically prevents him from being open with someone else. A relationship with him would mean accepting that you will never See the person behind the armor, and I can see that being uncomfortable for a lot of beings. 

If you dig some more into that, it comes down to there probably not being a ton of people out there willing to make the compromises Din would need to comfortable and happy. I believe he’s been burned by this exact situation in the past, judging from his interactions with Xi’an in The Prisoner. Presumably they had some sort of entanglement when they worked together in the past that ended in some bad blood. She belittles him for his dedication to his beliefs, embarrasses him, and plays into Mayfeld’s childish and invasive questions. 

We’re only ever given this as an example of a past attempt at some kind of relationship, and it ended, and ended badly, because he was unwilling to ignore his beliefs and boundaries for a partner who mocked him for both. 

So it’s really no wonder we get that amazing scene with Omera in Sanctuary. He’s clearly thought about staying with her, someone who has been kind to him and Grogu, and who could maybe come to truly love him. But even she still expects him to simply “pack away” his beliefs in favor of her companionship. The way his voice cracks and shakes, the way he so resignedly (but still so gently) grips her wrists to pull her away from taking his helmet off, that’s a man who had maybe dared to hope for a second that he’d found someone who would respect his choice to keep his face covered. It’s other things, too. It’s his dedication to his quest to both protect and reunite Grogu with his people, first and foremost, but there’s definitely some personal turmoil in that scene as well.

Conclusion: Din is someone who canonically struggles to form romantic/intimate relationships with others because of the creed he’s sworn and the armor he wears. He’s made attempts that have blown up in his face (Xi’an) and while he still allows himself to fall just a little bit for others when they’re kind to him, it’s always with the knowledge that it won’t work out because they see his boundaries as surmountable or conditional (Omera).

If that doesn’t read as an asexual experience, I don’t know what does. 

(I also want to talk about ship stuff now so if you’re not interested in me talking about Dincobb you can peace out! Otherwise, you made it this far, might as well keep listening to me ramble lmao)

This entire examination is also to work out why Din/Cobb works so well for me as a ship and it 100% has to do with how the fandom has interpreted and written Cobb in their fanfic. Overwhelmingly I have seen people write Cobb as incredibly understanding and accepting of Din’s choice to cover his face. He totally lacks the expectation that someday his affection will be enough for Din to forsake his creed, which is novel for Din. 

Here’s this person who not only takes the time to get to know him as a person, fight by his side, and trusts him implicitly, but he also doesn’t come with the usual stipulation that his love is conditional based on Din’s willingness to compromise his boundaries for him. I LOVE that one of the most popular tropes for this ship is Cobb willingly blindfolding himself so that Din is able to remove his helmet and relax around him without violating his beliefs. I LOVE that there are so many fics where Cobb cooks him dinner, understands that Din can’t eat next to him, and sits down on the other side of a closed door so they can still eat together. Cobb respects Din, respects his boundaries, and Din is able to pursue a more intimate connection with him because of that allowance and acceptance, and on his own terms.

As someone who has always struggled to find a relationship free from the expectation that I must somehow trade my identity and comfort for love, this ship just hits different, okay. 

[finaledenialist]

so in one of your asks you said you dont think cas was in love with dean since the beginning and idk its interesting to me because everyone seem to think he was from the start so what is your take on that? idk im just curious haha

ohhh I wanted to make a post about this so thanks for asking!

disclaimer: I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade I just have a different take on this whole thing!!! 

So. I see people are like: OMG he was in love ALL THIS TIME SINCE 4x01 and I am like: no. 

Was he lost since he laid his hand on Dean in hell? Yes. Was he instantly in love? Nah.

See, Cas in season 4 and 5 is starting to feel. He is conflicted, he is questioning, he doesn’t have ‘people skills’, he is confused by what he feels, he knows there is a ‘profound bond’ between him and Dean and he is rebelling for Dean, because Dean has a point and Cas feels Dean is right and apocalypse and destruction are wrong, and this human is so human and he never had that connection before. Add the sexual innuendos, the eye fucking and the tension between those two and this is what i call ‘classic destiel’. I do have a strong feeling this is partly Jensen’s and Misha’s fault though haha but I am also convinced that the jokes like ‘Cas, get out of my ass!’/’Blow me Cas’ are purely for ‘comedic purposes’ because haha gay so funny (keep in mind it’s still 2008/2009 and things were so different then BUT we still got Endverse which had not only sexual stuff implied but romantic as well - ‘all we have left, Dean and I, is each other, if Dean says it’s time to go in a blaze of glory, so be it’ (I am writing this from memory so these might not have been exact lines but you know what I am talking about).

And then in season 6 and 7 is where things start to get romantic. ‘I watched you rake leaves’, Dean’s blind faith that no, Cas can’t be working with Crowley behind their backs because come on it’s Cas and the whole 6x20 episode is *chief’s kiss* and then season 7 and Cas dies to make things right and Dean keeps his trenchcoat and moves it from every car they have been using that season to always have it with him because part of me always believed you’d come back. OK, but I was meant to be talking mostly about Cas’ point of view. Which takes me back to 7x23 and I’d rather have you, cursed or not. I think these words had a major impact on Cas. Something just clicked. Because he realized that he could say these exact same words to Dean and they still would be true. 

And then we got season 8 which was a major shift and it really moved stuff from ‘sexual tension’ to ‘romantic tension’ and it’s still called ‘season fanfiction’ because I wanted to keep them away from you in purgatory and Cas generally not feeling worthy of anything but I think this is when he started to realize that what he feels is not like ‘brotherly friendship’ but something much deeper but he had his issues (I don’t deserve to be saved from purgatory thing) so he kind of kept it buried. But this was when the Real Love really started. But did he admit it to himself? Well I am not in Cas’ head but something must have been on his mind - Naomi had access too his mind and she immediately recognized that there is a certain Feeling that is dangerous and Cas needs to be fucking lobotomized (I still have shivers thinking about it). Did Naomi knew it was love? Idk, but she felt something was going on - that is why she tried to mess things up between Dean and Cas (I only wish he felt the same way ouch my heart....) and Metatron also recognized it, quicker and better (maybe because he spent much more time on earth and was generally a little more powerful and knowing as the scribe of God) and he immediately used Cas’ grace to banish angels from heaven because Cas was feeling love for a human. But did he, himself recognized it as love? Did he admit it to himself? I still have a feeling that no. I still think that his ‘I don’t know’ after Dean’s ‘What broke the connection?’ was honest.

Now let me fast forward to season 12, because this post is getting too long already and while seasons 9-11 had some good episodes and even good destiel scenes I feel this was the time many people - rightly so - were starting to lose faith in canon destiel, starting with Dean not letting Cas stay in the bunker in season 9 and bros acting like they only call Cas when they need him. I repeat - there were still some good episodes, even great ones. And we were shown Cas worried about Dean and being there for him anytime Dean called, there was so much pining but once again let me raise The Question: did Cas know what he was feeling was love? Or was he still confused, not letting himself believe, not being able to name his own feelings and emotions? And this is merely my opinion but this is also time where many people started to be bitter and negative by how writers treated Cas (and other characters in general but I am not gonna dive into that dumpster now, especially the Cas-having-sex-with-a-reaper thing which was awful, but in retrospect is even more awful because if it was Chuck’s writing this seems like some kind of sick attempt to do a conversion therapy and I want to throw up; plus he thought? he was into his boss at gas’n’sip and he thought she was into him and what even was it if not a. bad writing; b. Cas being confused; c. Cas being confused about this bad writing).

So season 12. First of all 12x12, when Cas thought he is gonna die and the infamous line ‘I love you. I love all of you’ happened. I  am 100% sure this is when Cas realized. This must have prompted questions for him. Why did I say what I said? He blurted those words out but why like that? Aaaand after some thinking I think he realized why. He must’ve been like ‘oooops’. But then Jack was about to be born and he had to protect Kelly and then he died.

And then he is in the Empty who says - I know who you love, I know what you fear, there is nothing for you out there. She doesn’t know shit, she just has access to Cas’ mind and apparently those were his thoughts, already at that time, he thought there was nothing for him out there (again, his depression issues) BUT THEN CAS, MY SWEET CAS, THIS BAD ASS MOTHERFUCKER says fuck you Empty in one of his best monologues (before 15x18 I’d say it was his best but here we are) and she yeets him out, because HE decided HE is already saved and he doesn’t need a permission and you can preen and you can scream and yell and remind me of my failings but somehow, I'm awake. And I will stay awake and I will keep you awake until we both go insane. I will fight you. Fight you and fight you for... ever. For eternity. 

And then Jack dies and he takes the humiliating deal.  And now we’re at 15x18 and he says: ‘I have always wondered.... ever since I took that burden.... What my true happiness can even look like... Because the one thing I want is the one thing I can’t have’. SEE THESE WORDS HERE ARE WHY I CAN’T SLEEP AT NIGHT. BECAUSE THEY IMPLY at least to me THAT:

1. He was aware of his feelings, he knew what he felt was love at the time he took the deal. and after that he was like ‘I guess I am immortal now’ because the one thing I want is the one thing I can’t have so nothing else is going to make him truly happy; this also implies that there is only one thing he truly wants and the rest is just not that important, whatever else happens won’t make him happy which is heartbreaking;

2. He knew what he wanted, so this means that at some point he wondered, he imagined, he took his time to picture the ‘thing’ he wanted. Which is life with Dean. Because he is in love. LIKE HE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS, HE REALLY DID AND HE CONCLUDED THAT THIS IS OUT OF HIS REACH (now people argue if that is because he thinks it’s unrequited or because he thinks that something something hunter life-fighting all the time-no attachments lifestyle won’t allow them to have this sort of life - and frankly, knowing that he learned everything, or almost everything about emotions from Dean, who isn’t really good at them, I am not surprised if he is sure that this feeling is one-sided, because maybe he conquered his fears in the Empty the first time around but taking the deal must have made him anxious and Chuck still calls him self-hating so he probably thinks this is one-sided and he is unworthy of love anyway);

3. He tried to imagine different scenarios that would make him happy but eventually it all came down to That One True Scenario, out of his reach, that couldn’t compare with anything else, and he tells Jack - you know about that deal, it’s ok, I don’t see myself becoming happy anytime soon AND IT HURTSSS

so to conclude and tl;dr - I think Cas realized that what he was feeling was love after 12x12 although he felt it before but might have been confused by it. I do not think he was ~in love~ since 4x01. There was tension and there was pining but no. This feeling evolved, it didn’t *just* happen in the barn. 

also i am so sorry this took so long but i have thoughts and feelings and can’t form a coherent sentence since november 5th anyway thanks for asking nonny, ily!!!!

[humble-althemist]

The Hargrove-Mayfield House

I’ve been working on drafting this floorplan for ages, but now that I’ve got quarantine amounts of free-time I’ve come back to it with extra focus and determination to get this thing right, so here you go!

reference photos with explanation will be below the cut, because there are some weird-ass bits to this house that I feel need explanation/clarification/general screaming, and that in some case are very variable depending on what canon you want to go with.

anyway! with the front of the house down there at the bottom, and keeping in mind this house is on a corner lot (streets on both sides that have exterior doors), here ya go!

(also just a heads-up that the exact proportions of everything was difficult to figure off based on a lot of these photos, and this house very much resisted attempts to be sketched out on graph paper, so while this is as close as I could get it without losing my mind, it’s definitely got some little issues here and there still.)

OK! so starting from the front, we’re all familiar with the view from the street, the long, thin porch along the front. but did y’all know the front of the house isn’t as flat as the porch makes it seem? 

this is supported by the inside of the house, where we have Billy’s room in that pushed-out bit, and the front door visible through his door, leading into a living room in the pushed-back bit. (if any of that makes sense.) not the best screenshot but you can at least kind of see the corner behind Billy’s door and how it’s clearly not level with the front door

now, I’m not gonna spend much time on Billy’s room because @gothyringwald​ has already done the work of the gods with that one (IN THREE PARTS, MY HERO), except to briefly say yes, there is a fireplace in here, it’s the back-end of a slightly bigger one in the front room. also, not that it’s at all important cause I won’t be using s3 screencaps for his room, but his room was very clearly not filmed in the same house for s3. the view out Billy’s door changes from the front door to a hallway from s2 to s3 (and there are no hallways in this house, as you’ll see), and the view out his front-facing window changes from porch to bushes. it drove me crazy the whole time so I just had to throw that out there.

anyway, for now I want to turn your attention towards Max’s room while we’re still in here because...

first of all, yes there is a door straight into Max’s room from Billy’s, and no, I have not included it on my layout. That’s because in the show they use a bookcase on both sides of the door to hide it, so you could canonically say that there is no door. to be fair, though, they use this inset shelf thing that looks like in actual fact it wouldn’t work if both of them had one. so, use the door if it suits you, use the bookshelves if they suit you. canon is putty in your hands.

also I wanna point out that in the very bottom right corner of this shot you can see the corner of some wall trim. that’s the edge of Billy’s closet. and yes, it does stick out from the wall like that. at a guess I’d say about half of that wall is closet, and half of it is pushed back by exactly the closet’s depth, giving us this corner look.

moving on to the view into Max’s room, we can see the tiny closet space that her room has. it doesn’t appear much wider than the door to it is wide, though it is deeper than it appears from this angle, probably by about a foot. we can also see her door to the living room from here.

moving into Max’s room...

in season 2 you can feel the camera operators doing their damn best to show as little of this room as possible because it’s so weird and got so many doors, but in s3 we do get a little bit of a better feel and the screenshots I got from there do seem consistent enough with real-estate photos and s2 that I’m like 99% sure they shot Max’s bedroom scenes in the same house as in s2.

so, firstly we have a shot of that inset bookcase I mentioned hiding the door to Billy’s room, and Max’s lil closet to the right. it takes a stupid about of staring at the bottom right corner, but you can just barely see the shadow of what must be the closet’s outer corner there.

panning left, we can see Max’s windows, prime for sneaking out to do nerd shit. in the show they put a lil firewood storage thing directly under her windows for extra sneaking out potential, but I can only put so many pictures in here before tumblr makes me split this thing into two posts so I’ll refrain from adding a cap of that.

note also that that’s Billy’s window closer to us, and Susan & Neil’s at the back of the house. Billy’s would seem ideal for climbing out of as well, but some asshole put his sound system and vanity right under that window so idk how he’d manage it if he did. I’d love to see the elaborate shifting-stuff-around/gymnastics that goes into Billy’s regular sneaking out, though, if anybody wants to get on that.

ok, back into Max’s room cause we’re not done with it yet. we’ve accounted for a door that may or may not be between hers and Billy’s room, one to a lil closet space, and the one into the living room, but this girl has two more fuckin doors in her room.

unfortunately these two doors are never photographed together, so I didn’t figure out that there are two on this last wall until literally this morning while editing this post, but hopefully I can take you along my thought process on why it has to be two different doors.

essentially the thought process is, (L) no wall at all between darkened/blocked-off door and corner, (R) at least a foot of flat wall to the left of door. going back to all of my screencaps with this knowledge makes a whole lot of stuff make more sense, but again I can’t put everything here. If there’s demand for more detailed screencaps and stuff maybe I’ll make a part 2, but for now I’m trying to be as succinct as possible. (lol)

so anyway, that door on the right clearly goes into the third bedroom of the house, because why the hell not have all the bedrooms connected, and that one Susan’s standing in front of in the screencap, I believe, leads to a bathroom. (to be clear, there are two doors in that screencap. one on the left that leads to the living room as mentioned before, and the one I’m talking about, behind her, which set designers have understandably tried to disguise as a closet.)

this is purely process of elimination, since the real estate photo I have of the bathroom does not show the door, does not have any windows, and doesn’t even remotely resemble the bathroom used in s3, but the only other bathroom space I was able to find in this house was off the dining room, which is definitely not big enough to hold a bath or shower. I may throw out all the reference photos of bathrooms I have if anyone is desperately curious, but for now in my head it’s just a general haze of ~a bathroom exists here~

anyway, from that right door let’s walk on into Neil and Susan’s tiny-ass bedroom.

this room is so comically small I’m amazed Billy didn’t get saddled with it, honestly, but if you want some headcanons about why he might not have, my go-to is that Neil /or Susan realized this bedroom was the best for any teen with a mind for mischief. while the windows are definitely not as ideal for climbing out of as Max and Billy’s are, if we take that door on the left we’re in the pantry (yes, the pantry. stay with me), and it’s a straight trip from there out the side door, and out to your smokin’ hot Camaro.

idk how sound that logic is, but it’s what I’ve got lol

But anyway, now we’ve reached the end of the house on one side, so I’m gonna take us back to the front living room and work our way back from there. here we’ve a quick glance at the other end of that fireplace, and another angle of how the front door and Billy’s door relate to each other:

the two parts of the living room are separated by this wide arch, and that further bit is where we see Billy’s weights and weight bench in s2. one could say that this is just normally where he keeps it, but my own personal hc is that they’re only there in s2 because the family just moved in, and that they later get moved to his room and the basement, leaving the living room more usable.

It’s hard to be 100% sure, but looking at these photos, particularly at the floor, I believe the second living room area is narrower (as shown in the floorplan sketch). It makes Max’s room make a little more sense size- and shape-wise, and it seems like all the pictures I have of this space confirm it.

anyway, the open door on the right of the second living room bit leads back into Max’s room, and through another arch we can see into the kitchen, and beyond that the dining room.

for some reason the only shots of the kitchen are taken from the back of the house looking forward, so try not to get dizzy as we spin around here.

as you can see we’re now pointed towards the living room, and on our left (towards the bedrooms) we see the doors to that pantry I mentioned earlier. I don’t have any photos of the inside of the pantry, alas. those would solve probably every question I have about the ground floor of this house. if you look closely they look like bi-fold doors to me, but they could just open inward.

we can also definitely tell that the wall on the left side of that arch is much shallower(?) than it is on the living room side, if that makes sense. essentially, these rooms on the left side of the house are getting narrower as they go on.

until the dining room! this room narrows a little on the right side, which you can see from exterior shots, but the pantry/bathroom weirdness in the middle of the house has definitely cleared out of the way to make room for dining here. we’ve also got two big-ass windows (comparatively), since going by the direction of the wood floors, the window on the left is not the same window as the one on the right.

and going by the existence of a window in that bathroom, we know this part of the house has three external-facing walls -- or however a professional would say that. (essentially, Susan and Neil’s bedroom can’t be overlapping the other side of the bathroom.)

we’ve been pretty low on storage space here so far, so that + the fact that the door in the corner looks nothing like a door to the outside + the fact that there’s a door to the outside literally on the other side of the room, gives me the conviction that this door is just into closet space. it could be a door to the basement, but we’ve seen the back of the house before and it doesn’t look like there’s enough space there for a whole other room full of staircase. observe:

not to mention Neil’s headlights are illuminating a perfectly good door to the basement right there, although idk shit about houses with basements. do they usually have two ways down if they’re built like this? I wouldn’t know, I live on a fault-line. we don’t do that shit here.

ANYWAY, that’s the house. somehow I feel like I’ve covered like way too much, and also not nearly enough, so do let me know if anything isn’t clear and I’ll try to fix it/do an additional post and link that. cause even if most of us are writing Billy living outside of Old Cherry Road/Cherry Lane at this point, this kind of shit is always handy to have around, at least imo?

[jiminieloved]

Lol, welp, since your submission page does say you’re accepting people venting their opinion about something, and other anons you’re getting today have made this topical, I’m going to submit a bit of a frustrated opinion piece to you here- though I totally understand if you don’t want to post it if you think others might take it the wrong way and feel like it’s inciting drama or something. 

So bit of a hot take here, but I hold the opinion that Jikookers who insist that the post SY Final emails from TKers/hetshippers about stopping Jikook’s ‘gay performances’ worked, and that Jikook has ‘barely breathed’ and stopped interacting in public since then specifically because Big Hit won’t ‘let’ them because of those complaints, because they’re now trying to suppress their relationship and please Taekookers, are almost as frustrating as the crowd that starts weeping about how Jikook broke up every single time we go a week without a new moment at this point- it’s just two different forms of baseless hysteria grounded in insecurity. There’s a reason TKers have been widely mocked for coming up with conspiracy theories about how BH has turned TK into a tragic, forbidden love that is forced to stay apart, and I just hate seeing so many of us turn around and do the exact same thing the second we miss the boys for a minute. Now, allow to me explain WHY I think this idea is so silly, if I may

I guarantee that Big Hit gets complaints and demands about EVERYTHING related to the boys, that’s just the nature of overseeing literally the biggest band in the world- and yet people truly believe that of all the things they hear about, they caved to the emailed demands of what was most likely not even actually a full 100 people among BTS’s 1mil+ person fan base? You’re giving what was most likely a double digit amount of TKers (whenever anyone tries to bust out a tweet of people complaining about all the Jikook interactions that night that has triple digit likes, as if that’s proof that hundreds upon HUNDREDS of people were emailing Big Hit, I have to roll my eyes; one, a lot of that those likes probably come from people who have multiple accounts, and two, there’s way less energy involved with hitting like on a tweet than composing and sending an email-I would bet you anything that the vast majority of people who did the former never actually followed through with the latter. Not to mention that even if it actually had been a few hundred, which it almost definitely wasn’t, that’s STILL a completely insignificant portion of BTS’s fanbase) entirely too much credit if you think BH started suddenly declaring how and when JM and JK are allowed to interact just because of them; frankly, BH likely gets WAY more nutso emails from people about dumb things like wanting Tae publicly flogged for vaping or wanting JK kicked out of the group for having tattoos than they ever have about shipping matters- I’d be shocked if this particular issue was even a blip on the radar, or ever went beyond the administrative assistant in charge of sorting through fan emails laughing to themself as they deleted the nonsense.

But hey, let’s say the emails DID make it to the higher-ups at Big Hit and they WERE aware of them- thinking they started keeping Jikook apart because of them requires assuming BH places more weight into a few pressed emails than they do the entire sold out stadium being filled with the sound of hysterical, supportive, happy screaming every time Jikook were acting boo’d up that night, and, uh… WHY would you assume that, lol? Even IF BigHit is hypersensitive to how Army responds to specific ships, which I honestly doubt, I promise you any company would care more about the real-time reaction of a 60000 person true random sampling of the band’s fan base than a comparatively TINY amount of emails or tweets that, for all they know, are just being spammed by the same five people with an agenda across different accounts, and that real-time reaction to Jikook from 60000 random fans was extremely positive. Not to mention how Jikook is more popular than Taekook with both K-Army and J-Army, and it’s only I-Army that Taekook has the edge with; why does anyone think Big Hit cares more about a shipping subset of their third biggest market than a shipping subset of their first two biggest markets, if they’re going to care about shipping at all?

Then there’s the issue where I also think it’s kind of insulting to Jimin and Jungkook to suggest they would have even stood for being forcibly distanced to please some pissy Taekook fans, TBH. I’m not saying they get to live their lives as openly as they want 100% of the time, obviously as Idols there are things they make big concessions about, but Jungkook is a man who has been acknowledging since 2014 that a lot of their fans would be very upset with him if he ever got a tattoo, and who then still proceeded to get 20+ of them because that’s what HE wanted, Jimin is a man who saw fans complaining his shirt was too revealing and he should stop wearing it and proceeded to wear that shirt as often as possible throughout the next few weeks to make a point- you think they’d put up a fight like that for tattoos and clothes, but not for the person that we as Jikookers are assuming is their beloved partner? That’s not even getting into Jungkook being so vocal and so brave with gestures like GCF Tokyo and Rose Bowl; I would bet you anything that same man would not sit there quietly and nod along if an executive tried to order him to stop being seen with Jimin and start playing up his friendship with Taehyung for the camera more often, all just so they could please some obnoxious American teenagers. 

And finally, and what might be the biggest point to me- the ‘Jikook has been dead since then!’ and ‘Something is clearly off between them since then!’ narratives are SO exaggerated by Jikookers anyway, ones who have lost all perspective about how they haven’t been in public much since November, and they both barely use social media anymore, so ALL content from them drops off dramatically when there’s no tour, no promotions, and no appearances happening. Shippers keep complaining that we’ve had barely any new content in 2020, it’s all been stuff that was filmed in 2019 and just released now, waaah, and I’m just like ‘…uh, yeah, and that’s the case for literally every ship involving Jimin or Jungkook, because the three weeks of album promotion we got are basically all either of them have been seen for this year.’ If they were both constantly around and acting affectionate with other members while visibly icing only each other out, then maybe I could get the conspiracy theories, but I genuinely can’t recall any significant interactions either of them have had with other members outside of the clearly planned and scheduled V-Lives- not that this means the interactions in said V-lives weren’t genuine and cute, for the record! But it’s not like Jungkook was just hanging out at Tae’s apartment and they spontaneously decided to go live- Big Hit clearly had these particular lives mapped out and they’ve essentially been part of the boys’ current work schedule. They’ve both made themselves scarce, period, you can’t get ‘fed’ by people who just straight up aren’t making public appearances or using their social media accounts- and when we HAVE seen them, like in the last two OT7 lives, they’ve very much seemed like their normal selves and have been right by each other’s side, per usual. Also, when you look back on years in your mind as a compilation of significant moments, it makes you forget that even in 2018 and 2019, it wasn’t uncommon to go weeks or months between content; your brain just selectively filters out the time in-between that you spent waiting to remember only the good stuff we got those years, and it makes it feel like it was a constant flood of moments happening all at once; you remember ALL of 2018 and 2019 as their respective best dozen moments, forgetting that there was plenty of time in between even then, and that Jikookers frequently threw embarrassing fits about how they had clearly broken up any time their ‘feeding schedule’ was off for a few weeks even then.

And I mean, the face smushing pictures that have already become a Jikook fandom all time favorite moment were post SYF, the chest groping performance of Home was post SYF, them lovingly smiling while singing The Earth Traveler directly to each other and the behind the scenes clip of them looking just as smitten during the recording was post SYF, the extremely flirty and domestic New Year’s VLive that had Jikook fandom dying was post SYF, the video of them flirting about how long they’ve been a unit was post SYF (not to mention how Big Hit deciding to give them a photobook subunit in the first place, or deciding to include that flirty footage in the album release event stream, were both choices made post SYF), the big Jikook feast that was Winter Package was post SYF (and again, BH didn’t HAVE to include all that Jikook footage, and they DEFINITELY didn’t have to write the very shippy captions that one had- they chose to), Jimin holding Jungkook’s arm in the airport was post SYF, them holding hands while walking off stage at the Japan muster was post SYF, Jungkook calling Jimin cute and sexy during the album release and all of their flirting across the table and hugging and touchiness that same night was post SYF, the V-Live where Jimin was being very affectionate with Jungkook and there was that adorable minute long sequence where you could tell how badly they were fighting the instinct to hold hands was post SYF, Jungkook publicly and proudly losing his mind over Jimin the Black Swan reaction video was post SYF, them choosing to let us see them happily riding home together was post SYF, Jungkook stopping dead in his tracks and abandoning the routine to just lovingly stare at Jimin for two minutes straight during Carpool Karaoke was post SYF, the cuddling and spooning during recent Run BTS episodes was filmed prior to then, but BH’s decision to include the footage and post the photo was post SYF, same with all the season’s greeting Jikook footage, same with BH deciding to make the 5th Muster DVD an all out Jikook holy grail, same with BH having the Speak Yourself Japan behind-the-scenes footage be more Jikook than anything else. If that’s Jikook after supposedly being ordered to stay away from each other or to at least ‘tone down the gay’, and if Big Hit’s idea of pulling back on Jikook means still having the behind the scenes footage on the next 4 paid content DVD releases be LOADED with Jikook and basically revolve around their interactions, then call me crazy, but I think things are gonna be okay

[girlobsessed21]

My thoughts on The 100 7x05

Hey, guys,

Sorry for not doing any comments on the last two episodes. I’ve been a little busy and I struggled to connect to the show, so it hindered my enjoyment, but it’s all better now. Liked episode 4 and 5 was even better, jampacked with info and it answered a lot of questions.

Welcome to Bardo

Badass Octavia is da bomb (people don’t say that anymore, right?). When she was captured in episode two, I thought she had lost her fighting spirit, but it’s back, bitches. Well, until she runs into an invisible wall trying to escape. She’s captured and transported to M-cap (whatever that means). Then we get a welcome little flashback to Lincoln but it’s obvious that Bellamy would be the hand reaching out. He’s her rock, like she’s expressed many times.

Unlike John Murphy who is not quite a friend, or family and definitely not a lover. Introducing so many new characters in the final season of a show is never a good idea, because this is the time to wrap up all the stories of the existing ones, but come on, who cannot love Levitt. Even when he first meets Octavia, he doesn’t want to hurt her. Jason, you better not harm one hair on this precious little puppy’s head!

As he binges The 100 through Octavia’s eyes, he starts rooting for her, and he actually gives a damn, unlike most people on this show. He understands her strengths and weaknesses and he makes her see it too. “You’re a warrior to be sure, but your heart is pure.” Wow, what an honest and beautiful line. (Scroll down for my shipping comments.)

So is O and Hope’s fleeting little reunion. It’s amazing to experience this deep loving side of Octavia after her darkness. She’s truly one of the most diverse and developed characters on the series. Now Hope and her resilience is quickly making it to the top as well.

While Hope is trying to send her back home, we learn that memory loss is due to the time dilation. One quick note on this, it’s not linear, there’s no easy equation to calculate it unless you’re Stephen Hawking or Einstein. I don’t think it’s constant either. 10 years on Skyring = 11 days on Bardo = a few minutes on Sanctum. In the current time, 5 years on Skyring = 1 day on Sanctum = 7 days on Bardo. So, it’s clear that the planets are moving, and other factors are playing into the phenomenon. It’s more important to understand the time relative to each planet.

Levitt was the one who tattooed Hope’s code onto O’s back, also the one who planted the note into Hope’s arm. Indeed the kind of man you want on the inside, he even accepts a blow to the face as thank you.

Sheep-ish?

Thirty minutes on the clock and the trio gets led to a congregation to praise the shepherd. I never thought it was Anders, I do, however think it might be Cadogan. The Bordoan’s built the underground forest because they destroyed their planet. Ugh, what’s new? The shepherd herded his sheep from earth to Bardo via the stone. Cadogan and his second dawn cult?

Back to Clarke. So, after last episode I thought ‘the key to winning the last war’ line was an artifice for luring Clarke to disciples, but now it’s clearly true. They’ve located the key and they will win the last war. Levitt was interested in Clarke surviving the City of Light with the flame in her head, they probably assume she still has it. Cadogan burned Becca alive. Could it be because of the flame? Is this all because of that damn little chip that can’t seem to die?

Bellamy is not dead, I repeat, Bellamy is not dead! I believe that memory could be staged or implanted for a reason. Also, there’s no body, he jumped through the bridge. In the promo photos, he wears a ring but his actions towards Octavia seem a little cold and generic. On first watch, I thought it was bad acting but if he was programmed to do this, it makes sense.

Note the sequence of events. Octavia returned 7 days ago and was asked to talk her brother down, but we don’t see the actual scene. Instead we’re shown a memory. They could have implanted it to make her vulnerable and perhaps more susceptible to the procedure. I don’t know, but this theory could lead to Robot-sheep!Bellamy on Nakara, where he’ll encounter Clarke and the gang.

I have to be honest, I really don’t like this character arc for Bellamy. It’s unoriginal and a mime of Peeta’s storyline in Mockingjay. Sorry, but so far it feels like the writers were so over the show, they just wanted to get it done. And that attitude really bleeds into one’s creative concepts. I could be completely wrong, in fact, I hope I am.

Echo spins a Finn

My word, I lost the love of my life once, but I sure didn’t kill anyone. When Echo received that vision of Roan, I was hoping for some progression on her individual arc, they’ve made me care about her, and now we get the opposite. Why? One thing I have to admit, a killer performance from Tasya Teles! No pun intended.

Look, this show hasn’t explored Bellamy and Echo’s relationship enough to make her murder believable. It was the exact same thing with Finn. I wasn’t invested in Finn and Clarke’s connection, so his actions of killing a grounder tribe was more repulsive than understandable. Sure, Echo loves Bellamy and her sole purpose is to save him, but I’ve never truly witnessed their love for each other. They had one or two intimate scenes which cannot compel a deed like this. And in the process, she screwed Hope and Diyoza.

Anyway, I don’t think there’s any coming back from it. She murdered an innocent person in cold blood. That’s sure to open a door to the dark side.  Just look at Octavia after killing Pike and her actions were justified by jus drein jus daun.

Say Sanctum three times slowly and it sounds like… Sanctum

Blind faith

Look, I’m just gonna come out and say this song is getting old. Every episode featuring Sanctum is the exact same thing with different lines. Can we please move on from it, already? Yes, we know the COG want Russel dead, and the adjusters will go to extreme lengths to free Russel and the prisoners are background noise.

I did appreciate Nelson stepping in to try and save the girl, though. Still doesn’t save the fact that it’s repetitive. The Sanctum plotline is really struggling to take shape and I hope it happens soon. Dramatic eyeroll.

At least in the drought of a desert, you can always count on Murphy. “…I say we live and let die.” Typical cockroach line, right, but it’s ironic when he’s the one to step up, even if it is for Emori. Under the magnifying glass it’s the exact same plot as episode 1 and 3. He hesitates to take action, and eventually becomes the hero.

I mean, he saved that poor kid from being burned alive. Can you imagine sacrificing your own child in such a horrific away? Cults are beyond whacked, and, unfortunately, it’s reality that cult members are so blinded by their faith that they do not see rhyme or reason.

How did Murphy fail that test? I didn’t. When Trey named the four pillars, I thought, isn’t rejoice one of them? Surely, a cockroach would have smelled that trap a mile away.

Indra the great

Can we just give a massive round of applause to Adina Porter!!! That powerhouse walk vibrates strength and majesty, damn, she should be a false god, I wouldn’t dare threaten her with or without an army.

Three little words was all it took for her to recognize evil. “There’s a spider on your shoulder.” Smooth. Too bad she can’t kill him. Why not, how many of the faithful are left to cause an uproar? Wonkru doesn’t know it’s Sheidheda, they won’t care, the COG will fall in line and the prisoners will be happy as long as they get their compound. Sorry, I don’t get it and I don’t understand why she doesn’t tell anyone.  Someone please explain?

Granted, JR Bourne as Russel is way better, but I still don’t understand his actions. I hope they explore and explain him more, because he still feels flat unless he knows something of this final war. I’m hoping these two storylines align soon since it’s really driving a wedge between me and my love for the show.

Shipwreck

I’ll start with the easy stuff, Murphy, Emori and the perfect dress gets a heart eye emoji from me. They are so damn cute this season, can they please live happily ever after in the palace?

Octabriel vs Levittavia

Now, I enjoy Levitt fangirling over Octavia. I feel like he has a deep sense of her through her memories. If I have to root for an underdeveloped relationship, it will have to be one where the characters share thoughts and experiences even if it is through a sick, sci-fi procedure.

On the other hand, Gabriel and Octavia have immense chemistry, two seconds of them together bends my mouth into an “Aah, cute” pout. This will also add some approval and representation for mixed racial relationships.

I really don’t mind either way as long as they make me care through showing and not telling.

Bellarke

So, if my theory is correct, and Bellamy does end up on Nakara, Bellarke will encounter each other quite soon. Bellamy won’t be himself though, but he might pretend to be Bellamy to win Clarke’s co-operation. Is there hope for Bellarke yet?

Echo is now trotting a dangerous path and Bellamy might be pledged to a cause, so I doubt there will be a happy ending for Becho. Since 7x01 I’ve been thinking that the writers might want to develop something between Clarke and Gaia but if they are separated, is there enough time? Guess we’ll see.

This monster of a review is finally done… If you read through everything, you deserve a gold star! Let me know what you think, till we meet again…

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Insights From the Talk Dead to Me Podcast

Okay, I teased everyone over the weekend that I’d have a lot to talk about today, and here it is. There was SO much interesting information in this podcast. 

New Mexico Symbolism

TD isn’t by far the only ones to connect the New Mexico symbolism. On the podcast, they talked extensively about that and about how it will probably play into the sequel. One theory they had (and I hope they’re wrong) is that they think Aaron will get Rick’s comic book death. They think it would mess with Daryl’s head so bad, it would “run him out of town.”

Personally, I don’t think Daryl would leave JUST because Aaron died. For all the reasons many of us have already talked about (him taking care of Judith and RJ, etc). If anything, I think it would make him want to stay more and look after Gracie as well. I really don’t want Aaron to die, though. Unfortunately, it would make sense for him to die, what with him being such a heavy Beth proxy so often, but I’d really like him and Beth to meet first. Just my head canon, but I can’t help it. And they may have a point about Rick’s CB death, given that Aaron has already lost his arm. 

Why Extended Seasons Instead of Just Doing S12?

You know how I keep saying it’s weird that they’re doing this massively extended S11 rather than just breaking it into S11 and S12? Yeah, this podcast told me why, and it makes perfect sense. In a nutshell: many of the actors’ contracts expire after S11. AMC doesn’t want to renegotiate everyone’s contract for only one season.

And that’s something I’m positive has changed. If they were going to season 15, they would have just renegotiated the contracts, no problem. But since they’ve decided to end it now, it would have been WAY more inconvenient. And the people on the podcast made a good point, saying that if the actors’ agents find out the show REALLY NEEDS them for one final season, they’re gonna come back with astronomical demands. And given the state of the world, covid, etc., those kinds of monetary demands really could tank the final season. So, I’m glad to know that. It makes tons of sense.

Let’s Talk AMC’s Social Media Practices

So, several of these people who do the podcast correspond with AMC regularly for social media reasons. They talked about how they’ll often press the AMC representatives they talk to for more information. For the most part, they get the same, vague promises we all get from Gimple. “We’re working on a script.”  Or the classic, “I don’t know any more than you,” crap. But these podcasters said things might have changed logistically with the Rick Grimes films as well. You know how back when Rick left, Gimple said they’d be doing a 3-film trilogy? Well, apparently, people have begun to notice that ever since then, and especially since CoVid, any time anyone close to the shows references the Rick Grimes films, they talk about them in the singular, not the plural. The Rick Grimes FILM, not the Rick Grimes films. And the podcasters think it’s because the show is playing it by ear. Due, again, to financial concerns, maybe they’ll just make one film and see how well it’s received before deciding to make another. Obviously, I disagree with that idea. I do think things might have changed, the same as them ending the series after S11, in that they might use something other than films to continue Rick’s story. But I think they have a specific story to tell and they’re going to tell it, one way or the other.

I also think they got a bigger backlash about the films than they were expecting. People really threw tantrums about the idea of having to pay money to see it in the theaters. People are just used to getting it free on TV, and I think the reaction took tptb by surprise. Anyway, now with CoVid, and theater attendance WAY down, and heaven only knows where we’ll be in a year, it wouldn’t surprise me if AMC and Gimple are rethinking that tactic. Maybe they’ll only do one film and then segue Rick into another series. Either his own, or the Daryl/Carol one. Kirkman ended the comics in the summer of 2019. That was AFTER Rick’s last episode. So I’m willing to bet that all the changes and shuffling started as soon as the comics ended. However it happens, it does show that more than one thing is being shuffled behind the scenes due to CoVid. But listening to this gave me a huge epiphany that I became illogically excited about, lol. It was nothing they said, but just me thinking through the implications of all of this. I’ve always believed Rick would return in some way. And even though I’d be totally cool with him having a reunion with his kids in one of the Rick Grimes films or whatever, I’ve always had a sense that he would return to the series, despite them telling us he wouldn’t. Well, as I said yesterday, the idea of him returning seems much less likely now that we know they’re ending after S11. But…something occurred to me. Gimple has adamantly said Rick won’t return to the TWD series. He’s never said anything about him not moving to any spinoffs. *mic drop*

Thoughts About the Daryl/Carol Spinoff

Nothing too groundbreaking here, but they did say that the Donnie shippers are super frustrated, which I’m sure is true. They said the Caryl shippers are happy, but not too over-the-top happy about it. (Their words. I really couldn’t say whether that’s true or not.)

They also said that, given how much the show has told us there won’t be romance between them, it will either be the ultimate reward for the Carylers (if they get together romantically) or the ultimate tease (if they don’t).

So, my point is that, outside the hardcore shippers at least, most of the fandom isn’t really thinking this is going to be a romance thing with Carol and Daryl. And because of that, they’re wondering where the show could possibly go with Daryl and Carol. Like, they’ve explored their relationship as far as they can and they’re questioning whether this series revolving around them will be worth watching.

Now, if we didn’t know what we know or hadn’t theorized what we have, I would agree whole-heartedly with that. There has to be more to this spinoff than just Daryl and Carol running around killing zombies together. Even the GA is a little confused about this and thinks there must be more to the story. And, you know, there will be.

Coda Replay (And We Didn’t Even Realize It!)

This came together for me from multiple sources. I have an Ask in my inbox that I haven’t answered yet. It’s from a Nonny who obviously wrote in when the big news broke. He/she says that AMC announced the end of the series and the spin off…and then deleted the post. I wasn’t sure what to make of that, because it doesn’t seem to me like anything’s been deleted. At least on Twitter, the post with the press release and the announcement is still pinned to the top of the account. And probably different click bait sites have reported on it. So they don’t seem to be trying to hide it. I didn’t really know what to make of that, except maybe one of the posts was deleted for logistical reasons (typo or something) and then reposted, and the Nonny just thought it was suspicious when really, it wasn’t. Then I listened to this podcast. And guess what? One of the clickbait sites that was slated to give the announcement, IGN, posted it like two hours early…and then deleted their post.

One of the women they talked to used to be a social media manager for AMC. She isn’t anymore, but she worked for AMC for several years. And they asked her about the “leak.” She said that she felt badly for the company that leaked it early. She said when there’s a big announcement like this, there are dozens, maybe hundreds, of moving pieces behind the scenes. Basically, AMC has a whole network that they coordinate to release the news all at the same time. So, it didn’t surprise her that someone, every so often, messes it up and releases it early. It’s just a lot people and moving parts to keep track of. So like maybe, if they were supposed to post the announcement at 8am central time, maybe they posted it at 8 their time, which was too early. That sort of thing. And okay, I guess that makes sense. But there’s just one problem with that explanation. The EXACT same thing happened with this announcement as happened with Beth’s fate in Coda. One of the companies released it too early.

(I’m sure this is the post Nonny means that was deleted: because it was released too early.)

That’s why, the day the news of the show ending broke, people were talking about “rumors” of TWD ending before the official announcement was made. Between that, and all the references we’ve seen (‘bringing characters back from the dead,’ and ‘the six episode coda,’) I just don’t think I can believe in good faith that this was a coincidence.

A little more about AMC social media accounts.

This just confirms what we’ve suspected for years. This woman said she was one of many social media managers. But all that means is that she “managed” several of AMC’s social media accounts. As in, she posted on them and interacts with fans and comments.

She in no way, shape, or form had any say about what was posted or when. She specifically said that such things were WAY above her paygrade. She suspects that such decisions went all the way up to Gimple and Kang. Like there’s someone who follows them around, and when one of them says something needs to be posted, that person texts all the social media managers and they post it. Boom. The writers 100% control what goes out on social media. What it is, what graphics to use, how it’s worded. Everything. #TDforthewin!

She also said that if someone leaks the news early, everything is reconfigured and they quickly shore up to protect the narrative and make sure everything is correct and appropriate. Very interesting.

He also asked her if she thought IGN did it intentionally or on accident. She was obviously being careful not to throw too much shade, but you could tell she definitely thought it might have been done intentionally. Oh, and also? The podcast guy said he knew about the leak because he had to wait until a certain time (I want to say 8:30 am, but I don’t know which time zone) before he posted about it. AMC told him what time and he made sure not to sleep in so he wouldn’t miss it, but he logged on and people already knew because of the leak.

So once again, even this podcast, who claims not to be directly affiliated with AMC (even though they totally are) is getting posts, directions, etc. from AMC. And that’s important with what I’m about to tell you, because the people on this podcast have definitely mentioned Beth in suspicious contexts more than once. And this podcast was the farthest thing from an exception.

Talking About Beth Randomly

That leads me to my final and the biggest thing that stuck out to me about this podcast. Let me first say that I generally like the podcasters and their attitudes toward the show. For one thing, none of them are pro-Caryl. Most of them like Carol all right, but don’t want her and Daryl together romantically. Obviously, I like that.

Unfortunately, they were kinda being punks about Beth in this episode. They went on a little TD-bashing session. As I said the other day, they didn’t mention TD by name or anything, but it was more of a “did you know there are people out there who think Beth is alive?” kind of thing. And they were being really sarcastic about what they thought about that. But the entire discussion still felt SUPER suspicious to me. They were talking about the OTHER spinoff. Not the Daryl/Carol one, but the “Tales of the Walking Dead” one where they’ll tell the back story of deceased characters. One of them asked who the others would like to see back stories of. Out of nowhere, one of them yelled, “Beth!” Seriously. Out. Of. Freakin. Nowhere. And then they basically started making fun of TDers. They talked about how there really are people out there who think she’s still alive. Then one of them said “those people” think that Beth had a twin sister we never knew about and she’s the one who got shot and Beth is still secretly alive. I had to chuckle and shake my head at that. Maybe there’s someone, somewhere in the fandom who thinks that, but I’ve never even heard anyone argue that before. Have you? He then called people who believe that a great big pile of stupid. So yeah, obviously they were being punks. But the conversation about Beth went on and on. One of them said they hoped AMC did a Beth back story in that spin off series, just to mess with the heads of the people who think she’s still alive. And then someone else replied that she doesn’t have a back story to tell because we know it all already: farm, prison, Grady. (I’m sorry; who’s one big pile of stupid to NOT notice the missing 17 days in S5?) Even though they were basically laughing at us, it just felt really deliberate and contrived. And then, one of the women says, “I hope she shows up in The World Beyond.” Seriously? After that, they finally kind of went, “Anyway…” and moved on. But they didn’t even mention any other names in answer to the question about who else they wanted to see back stories for in that second spin off. They ONLY talked about Beth. I siriusly sat there with my jaw hanging open because again, it just came out of nowhere, and they mentioned her—extensively—in conjunction with BOTH spinoffs AND threw in TWB. Just saying.

You know how I said earlier that they claim  not to be affiliated with AMC, though they totally are? Well, technically these people are part of Skybound. (Upper left corner of the picture below.) So in that way, they aren’t directly AMC. But we all know Skybound has posted MANY suspicious things about Beth over the years. And as I established above, they’re definitely being fed what to post by AMC. 

So I feel like that applies here as well. It’s almost like AMC told them to mention Beth in some way, even if it was by way of making fun of people who think she’s alive. So they found a way to bring her up in conversation. And hey, maybe these podcasters really don’t know about Beth’s return. Maybe they think AMC wants them to make fun of or dismiss the idea of her return. But either way, they contrived a way to talk about her, and they would only have done that if AMC told them to.  Okay, I’ll shut up, now. That podcast just totally rocked my world. Thoughts?

[cantgetoutofmyheda]

Clextober 2019 - Vampires/Werewolves

Anon Prompt: “I’m not leaving this place without you.”

—

It was like clockwork. Every Wednesday at 6:45pm the quiet brunette would saunter into the quaint restaurant. It was a small town, the kind of town that if you were born there, you’d likely spend the rest of your life there. This mysterious brunette, though, she stuck out like a sore thumb. It had been short of two months of Lexa being there—her great uncle Alexander had passed away and she was his last known relative. It was supposed to be an “in and out” process—clean the house, list it for sale, box Alexander’s things up, donate them to shelters, and then be on her way, but her stay had extended far longer than anyone would have thought. The house needed some fixing before it could be listed on the market and the process of switching over the title of the house to her name ended up being more complex than it should have been.

This Wednesday was no different than the rest. Lexa walked into the small establishment and took it upon herself to walk past the host station and seat herself. She barely spoke to anyone and always kept to herself, and like every Wednesday before this one, she came alone.

“Your fan club is here,” Clarke heard Miller call from the front of house.

Clarke brushed off the teasing, “Thanks, Miller. Your food’s up for your corner table in the back, better get it out there before they stiff you a tip again.”

The blonde dropped off the tray of food she was carrying to her early-bird diners before she made her way to Lexa’s table—the brunette always sat on the same side of the same exact booth every visit, “Hey there. I’d ask if you wanted to hear the specials, but I already know the answer to that. Double whiskey, straight up and the check?

“If you don’t mind,” Lexa nodded

Clarke grinned, “Never have, won’t start now. I’ll bring it over in a few minutes, the bar shouldn’t have too many orders ‘round this time of day.”

Lexa nodded again as she watched the blonde walk off to put her order in with Octavia behind the bar. She found herself bringing her attention away from the waitress, her insides started to twist—she was hungrier than she should have been for the time of day. She looked down and laid her eyes on the gold watch that adorned her wrist, cursing at herself for skipping lunch earlier for the sake of getting a paint job done and over with.

Not even a minute had passed before the blonde reappeared, setting her drink down next to her check and joked, “Sure you don’t want to hear tonight’s specials?” She looked over her shoulder to the older couple eating their dinner, before turning back to Lexa, “Johnny and Cath over there are sure loving Murphy’s meatloaf.”

Lexa peered over Clarke’s shoulder, wincing at the sight of the meat mushed around their plates, “Never have, won’t start now.”

“Alrighty then, Lexa. Enjoy your whiskey. Maybe one of these days I can convince you to stay for dinner, too,” the blonde laughed.

Lexa took a sip, “Doubt it, the food here… It’s not really up my alley.”

Clarke nodded, though she wasn’t sure why she did. For the life of her, she couldn’t figure out why Lexa frequented the restaurant every week if all she wanted was a glass of cheap whiskey, “You know there are other places in town you can go to get a drink, right?”

“I can stop coming here, if that’s what you’re insinuating,” the brunette set her glass down on the table and looked straight into Clarke’s eyes.

The blonde inhaled deeply—Lexa was extremely difficult to read, but from what she gathered, the woman didn’t mean any malice behind her words. If anything, it seemed as if Lexa had taken a liking to her, especially from seeing her around town and barely speaking two words to anyone else, “Don’t get ahead of yourself. You’re an easy customer. Same day every week, same order, you leave when you’re done so you don’t hog up my tables, and you tip 100% of your check every time. I’d be an idiot to tell you to stop coming here.”

The brunette nodded, “So why the suggestion?”

“Just wasn’t sure if you’ve ventured around town. Maybe one of the bars would be more your scene, you don’t necessarily strike me as the type to be surrounded by the dinosaurs that come through this place,” Clarke shrugged.

“Well then, that’s appreciated,” Lexa let out a small smile, “I get along with dinosaurs quite well, though.”

Clarke raised a brow, “You have a sense of humor,” she pointed out. “Who woulda thought?”

“I’m an old soul, at heart,” Lexa said, bringing the glass to her lips again.

The blonde smiled, “I gathered that the second you walked in here that first time. There’s something about you. I can’t quite place it yet, but I’m sure in time I will. But that’s enough out of me, I’ll let you enjoy your evening treat.” Clarke tapped the table with her pen, “I’ll come back around to say bye before you head out—if that’s okay with you.”

“Sure,” Lexa nodded before turning her attention away from Clarke, looking back down at her watch again.

It was ten after seven—she had about fifty minutes to make it back home before her dinner would be ready. Just a few more weeks. After that, she’d be able to go back to her real home, back to the life she was used to. This short stint in Arkadia would be behind her, and so would the facade she had been having to keep up over the long few weeks.

She was jostled out her thoughts at the sound of a glass breaking. She looked up and noticed Clarke hovering over a table in the back in a heated argument with a customer, the brown-haired man was clearly inebriated, likely the cause of the glass shards lining the table. She waited a little longer, watching how her server was able to hold her own. It wasn’t until the man placed his hands around Clarke’s wrists that Lexa’s body went into overdrive.

In a matter of seconds, Lexa was standing next to Clarke, she now had a grasp on the man’s hand, “Let go.”

“Lexa?” the blonde was astonished, she hadn’t even realized the woman was standing right next to her.

“Get your hand off of me, you whack job,” the man huffed, trying to shake Lexa off as he still had a hold on the blonde.

“Now,” Lexa stated, “before I rip your hand off her myself.”

“You can’t threaten me like that,” he scoffed, still not loosening his grip, even under the brunette’s ice cold grasp.

“I believe I already did,” there was an esurient look in her eyes, her hunger pangs from before had been exponentially amplified. As the man finally let Clarke’s hand free, the small trail of blood running down her palm gave her a resolution as to why.

Lexa jumped back at the sight, looking down again at the small cut on Clarke’s hand, moving her eyes to the blonde’s, “Are you okay?”

All Clarke could do was nod—so much had happened in such a short period of time. Finn, the angry town drunk set his hands on her, Lexa appearing out of thin air and threatening the man on her behalf, and now, the brunette looked absolutely disgusted by her.

“Go home, Finn. You’re drunk,” Clarke said, tapping the man’s chair with her foot, then turned her attention to Lexa, “Thanks, I need to go get this wrapped up.”

“Yeah, okay. I should get going soon,” Lexa nodded, unable to look straight at the blonde.

Lexa made her way back to her booth to finish the rest of her drink. She watched from her seat as the man slapped a few bills and change on the table—to be frank, she was surprised he even did that. Her eyes never left the man, something he had realized on his way out. She took notice that he stood near the front door, lighting a cigarette, and she couldn’t help but wonder why he was still sticking around. The sound of someone clearing their throat brought her attention back inside the restaurant.

“You’re still here,” Clarke observed, zipping the front of her jacket.

Lexa nodded, taking the last swig of whiskey from her glass, “I am, and by the looks of it, he is too.”

“He’s drunk and he’s an idiot, but thank you again for that,” Clarke managed to smile. She brought her hand up to push a loose strand of hair behind her ear, and Lexa was glad to see that her cut had been bandaged up.

“You don’t have to thank me, I was just doing what was right.”

Clarke pursed her lips, “Right, well I’m going to head out. The boss said I could go home after all that, Octavia will be by to pick up your check. See you same time next week?”

Lexa looked out the window again, the man was still lingering near the door, “Is that the best idea? It looks like he’s waiting for you or something.”

“I’m a big girl, Lexa, I’ll be fine.”

“Let me walk you out, at least. This town is so small that we’re probably heading in the same direction,” Lexa offered, though her expression was still stoic.

“Really,” Clarke shook her head, “I’ll be okay, he’d be an idiot to try anything like that when there are people all around.”

“Clarke,” Lexa emphasized the blonde’s name, “he already grabbed you in a restaurant full of people. Not for nothing, but no one batted an eye. Let me walk you until he’s at least out of sight.”

The blonde took her bottom lip between her teeth, she knew Lexa was right, but there was also something about the woman that had her wondering if her suggested idea would be her best option—there was something about her, something that she still couldn’t quite place, and she didn’t like the feeling.

Before Clarke could respond, the brunette added, “I’m not leaving this place without you.”

“If you insist,” Clarke gave in, “but your uncle’s place is before mine, so I don’t need you to walk me the whole way.”

---

Lexa was reserved as the two walked, but that didn’t surprise Clarke one bit. Her uneasiness started to dissipate once she realized Lexa was really trying to help—Finn had still been outside the restaurant as the pair left, the drunk man screamed profanities at both women as they walked past him.

They had gone on in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Clarke spoke up, “So are you some sort of chef or something? You only eat the food you prepare yourself?”

“Huh?” Lexa looked over to the blonde, her hands were buried deep in her pockets and her head had been buried deep in her thoughts of why she insisted on walking with the woman in the first place.

“You’ve been to the restaurant every week and you’ve never ordered a thing. There aren’t many places to grab food around here and you don’t have a car, so I just assumed you preferred your own cooking to anyone else’s,” the blonde pointed out.

Lexa stopped walking, “How do you know I don’t have a car?”

Clarke shrugged, “Small town.”

“Right,” Lexa nodded, starting to walk again, “And I get my food delivered fresh every day.”

“One of those fancy farm-to-table meal services, huh? Clarke grinned, “Too rich for my blood.”

Lexa winced at the last word that left the blonde’s mouth, “Something like that.” The brunette looked around and realized that they were no longer going in the direction of Alexander’s home, “I thought you said my uncle’s place was on the way.”

“It was,” the blonde blushed, “I got kind of creeped about Finn so I kept walking, I’m sorry. I hope you don’t mind, it’ll only be a five minute walk back for you, though. We can part ways here if you’d like.”

“I didn’t know you were capable of such trickery,” Lexa smirked, “It’s fine, I have time before I have to be back,” she looked at her watch—she had about thirty minutes to get home and finally eat before her hunger would take the best of her.

“Thank you,” Clarke smiled, reaching into her purse to pull out a set of keys.

“You don’t have to keep thanking me.”

Clarke shrugged, “I know I don’t know you, but something tells me you wouldn’t have done that for just anyone.”

“I suppose you’re right about that,” Lexa stopped at the bottom of the steps leading to the front door of a modest craftsman-style house.

Clarke opened the door and walked in, turning around to see Lexa awkwardly standing at the base of the stoop, “What are you doing?”

“Well, I was going to head back now that I know you got home okay,” Lexa said, shuffling her feet.

Clarke nodded, “Well, I don’t want to be too forward, but since you want me to stop saying ‘thank you’ I figured I could do something nice for you. I have a pretty decent bottle of whiskey in here—tastes much better than what you drink at the restaurant. Stay for one?”

“Oh,” Lexa was honestly surprised. She knew she had enough time for one drink before having to be home, but something inside of her kept her at the bottom of the steps, keeping her from taking a step forward, “that does sound nice.”

Clarke arched a brow, “So what are you still standing there for?”

Lexa’s mind raced at how to tackle the conversation. There was something burning inside of her, wanting to step inside the home and be closer to Clarke—she knew it was partly because of the experience at the restaurant which fueled her hunger, but it was also partly because out of all the people in this small town, Clarke had been the only welcoming person towards her. She took a breath and cursed herself for how forward she was about to become, “I’m waiting for you to invite me in.”

The blonde was thoroughly confused, “I thought I just did.”

“I need you to say it,” Lexa sighed.

“Okay,” Clarke exhaled, still confused and now hoping she wasn’t having a lapse of judgement about inviting the woman in front of her into her home, “Lexa, would you please come inside for a drink?”

The brunette’s legs started to mindlessly move towards the door and into the house, “I only have twenty-five minutes, but I’d love to.”

****

Few notes here: I wrote this pretty hastily and didn’t have any time to proofread, so I’m sorry if there are any typos and whatnot. Secondly, I left this pretty open ended because I have a few ideas for how a larger story could pan out. If you guys are interested in that, let me know and I’ll start to post some snippets when I have time!

[littlemisssquiggles]

So MissSquiggles.... what did you think of that, do I dare say it, little moment between Ruby and Oscar?? Lol Also what’s your take on that last conversation between Oscar and Ironwood? A lot of people are speculating that the merge between Oscar and Ozpin is beginning, but I personally believe it was just Ozpin pretending to be Oscar for the moment so that he could be the one to tell Ironwood the truth..... what are your thoughts?

HiyaMoon!What do I think of the Rosegarden moment? Pfft, whaddaya think I thunk? Hardy-harr-harr! 8V

Of course Iloved it! As I said in my screenshot post, I’m going to be gushing about thatmoment for some time. But apart from loving the moment for the obviousRosegarden food, what I mainly liked about it was how it highlighted how much Ruby and Oscar are kindred spirits despite their differing personalities. 

I amrelieved that this episode gave me two things that I was hoping for---thatOscar would tell Ironwood the whole truth by word of mouth rather than wastinguse of the Relic and that Ruby would agree to make the right call in the end ofher own accord as opposed to having it forced out of her.

Thankgoodness. The episode even highlighted Ruby being inspired by Oscar a bit. Whenhe spoke up to encourage Ironwood on telling the truth, Ruby backed him up.When it came to telling the truth to Ironwood, he was the first person shespoke to about it above everyone else. 

Honestly, the more these two interact the morethis show makes me feel enamoured with their bond based on how well they getalong and are able to support and bounce off of each other. 

This episode wasmore fuel for me to support Rosegarden being a perfect pair. I can even seentheir leaning more towards the romantic side from this experience.

How coy the two of them behaved with each other was soadorable to watch. Honestly, these two kids are too precious for words and Ihope I don’t hear anymore poppycock from anyone who still deem this pairinginappropriate. 

Leave em alone! As Marrow rightfully put it---Oscar and Ruby are kids! So let these two KIDS---these two, smaller more honest souls---be cute! 

It’s clear even more than it was back in V5 that the show seems to be pushing these two together.To probably mean more to each other in the end. I mean we’re still in the beginningslow stages of where this pair can potentially go but I do think these twomight fall in love with each other at some point down the line. 

And just as howthe show has treated their relationship up until this point; it will be a love based on mutual feelings. 

I love how the show has always portrayed Ruby andOscar being on the SAME page with one another. What one gives the other dishesout the same. 

So if love is to spark between them, I’m expecting it to happen at the sametime.

Thisis where I believed Rosegarden to parallel the Fairytale pair. Salem and Ozma fellin the love the moment they worked together to escape the Lonely Tower. Thatshared experience and Ozma’s bravery to save Salem, that’s what’s brought themtogether.

And…Istill can’t help but feel like this will be mirrored in Rosegarden as well. 

Oscar and Ruby might probably fall in love with one another AFTER workingtogether to escape a perilous scenario in which either’s bravery---risking their life to protect the other is what finally sets their romance in motion.

 And from this moment onward,these two smaller, more honest souls will realize what they mean to each otherand fall in love as a result of it.

I’mnot sure when this moment will come or what this exact moment will be. I definitely have headcanons for sure.

But for now, it doesn’t deter the fact that now this squiggle meister has more motivation to believe this is where they might go. 

For all I know, I mightjust get my wish soon given how this episode ended with the arrival of acertain duo. 

So in that regard, I’d like to thank the credited CRWBY Writersfor this episode---Double D (Eddy Rivas) and Khaleesi(Kiersi Burkhart) for giving me this beautiful Rosegarden exchange for this episode.And hopefully it won’t be the last Rosegarden moment we have for V7.  But that’s just my views on that.

P.S. Oscar’s little chortles at Ruby being just as awkward and adorable as he was added 100+ years to my lifespan! Bless you Aaron Dismuke! 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inregards to your second question:

“….Lol Also what’s yourtake on that last conversation between Oscar and Ironwood? A lot of people arespeculating that the merge between Oscar and Ozpin is beginning, but Ipersonally believe it was just Ozpin pretending to be Oscar for the moment sothat he could be the one to tell Ironwood the truth..... what are yourthoughts?”

Withall due respect Moon and no offence to you or anyone who shared this similar thought,but what is with folks thinking that every moment that Oscar speaks for himselfhas something to do with Oz? What is up with that?

Yousee this is why I advocate for the show to give us more focus on Oscar as himself. Everytime this poor kid has a moment where it’s just him speaking from his own heart, youget those one or two folks who go “It’s not Oscar! It’s Oz!”

Goshdarnit people, not every word of wisdom that comes out of Oscar’s mouth has to do with Oz? Have you forgotten ‘like-minded souls’? 

Oscar is wise, not because he’s paired with Ozpin and it’s Oz speaking through him. It’s because Oscar himself shares similar qualities that would make him an influential speaker and beacon of hopeful wisdom just like Oz once was.

Thisis what made this episode so great. This is what made moments like the DojoScene in V5 or the moment with Ironwood in V7CH7 so great. It’s NOT Ozpin talking. 

It’s Oscar speaking as himself, giving his own insight on the events going onaround him and not only making his own decisions outside what his predecessorshad done but also making the move to take a different approach than they did.

Sowith that in mind, I have to respectfully disagree on your stance on it beingOzpin who spoke to Ironwood, Moon. 

NO! That moment was 100% Oscar Pine withoutany influence from Oz.

It was all him because as I would like to stress andremind everyone, while Oscar is going to become Ozpin’s successor, he is his own person with his own thoughts ,his own opinions and  as of this volume, we’ve seen a bit more examples ofOscar making his own choices to do better than what Oz and other Wizards did before him.

Andhe came to that decision after not just enduring his own experiences butthrough seeing the mistakes the past Wizards have made.Soagain. It wasn’t Oz to talking to Ironwood. It was all Oscar.

Asfor the part about folks thinking it might be the Merge, that one I’m 90-10 on. On one end, I canunderstand why folks would get this impression but on the other end, I don’tthink the Merge has begun as yet. Ozpin’s not back yet you guys. 

As a matter of fact, I don’t think the Mergewill happen until Oscar and Oz share some kind of reconciliation within Oscar’smind.

Ozhas to return first for the Merge to happen. So no, I don’t believe this is a sign that theMerge has begun.  I actually think that Oscar’slittle quote about Atlas was just another example of him recalling one of Oz’s memoriesas if it were his own. 

To me it feels like a parallel to V4. We saw somethinglike this happen already back in the earlier days of Oscar’s interactions withOz where he made him describe Lionheart’s office and Oscar was able to do thatjust as easily as if he had been there.

Not to mention that it’s a nod to CH7 when Ironwood showed Oscar the Vault where the Relic was being hidden in hopes that it would jog his memory of the past since raising Atlas was Ozpin’s idea.

While the Vault didn’t jog Oscar then, the events of this episode did do something. Idon’t even think Oscar was even aware of him making the same point as Oz did untilIronwood pointed it. So in time, Oscar will start to recount Ozpin’s memories.

Who knows? Maybe this episode was a sign that Oz will be coming back soon and he and Oscar will learn to work together. 

This episodes ending definitely has me thinking that now especially with WHO showed up. But that’s just me. Hope this answers your question, Moon.

~LittleMissSquiggles (2020) 

[hamliet]

The Man-God: BSD’s Dostoyevsky and Demons’ Kirillov

So, I finally read Bungou Stray Dogs. And y’all, I freaking love this manga. It’s got themes of life, grief, death, trauma, and is chock-full of literary references and puns. 

Shocking no one, one of my favorite characters--the reason I started reading the story--is Dostoyevsky, since I’m... rather an admitted fangirl of Dostoyevsky’s novels. I’ve reread each of them at least twice and some (C&P) up to five times. Clearly BSD’s Dostoyevsky not the hopeful, faithful author, but he’s definitely a fascinating antagonist whose arc is digging into the themes of Dostoyevsky the writer’s novels--with a particular focus on the two novels that are my very favorite novels ever written, by anyone, in history: Crime and Punishment and Demons. 

But in truth, it draws more from Demons than from Crime and Punishment, right down to having BSD!Dostoyevsky directly quote it.

Demons is far, far less popular that Crime and Punishment, The Brothers Karamazov, and even The Idiot, so I was really surprised to see how often it’s been referenced in BSD (The reason it’s less popular is honestly justified: the first 100 pages are paced... horribly, but the rest of the novel is so powerful that I can overlook that). It’s been translated under a variety of titles as well: The Possessed, The Devils, and the most recent is Demons so that’s what we’re going with in this meta.

Pssst--look at how often BSD!Dostoyesvky is associated with demons or devils:

Yet Demons has been popular with literary theorists (one well-known critic has described it as containing “the most harrowing scene in all of fiction,” an assessment I’d agree with--and this is the scene I’m going to discuss in detail) and existentialists like Camus (sorry Camus). Anyways, I have a soft spot for Demons because it contains my very favorite character in existence: Alexei Nilyich Kirillov, who is the character BSD!Dostoyesvky directly quotes.

@blackandwhitemusician did a great analysis of the similar philosophies BSD!Dostoyevsky shares with Crime and Punishment’s Raskolnikov, but I want to talk about how BSD!Dostoyevsky is also modeled after Kirillov’s philosophical ideas. This isn’t to say he embodies them, because Kirillov is decidedly not a villain unlike BSD!Dostoyevsky, but BSD!Dostoyevsky definitely draws heavily from Kirillov’s ideals.

Kirillov is a character who, like Raskolnikov, embodies the contradictions of human nature, but in a hyperbolic way. He's noted to have a "calm but warm and kindly expression"and adores children, playing with them, and he even helps his friend Shatov's wife give birth (he's endearingly awkward and scared for the whole ordeal). He affirms that he is “fond of life” and yet he is determined, from the moment we meet him, to shoot himself as suicide because in doing so he will save himself and the world. 

Kirillov’s reasoning is complex and at the same time, spotty, and stems from a deep despair and disgust with human sin. Sound familiar?

Time is also a major motif with BSD! Dostoyevsky and with Kirilllov. He does not believe in time as more than an “idea.” He insists that “life exists, but death doesn’t at all… [I believe] in eternal life here. There are moments, you reach moments, and time suddenly stands still, and it will become eternal.”

(Clocks constantly appear in BS chapter 42, Dostoyevsky’s introduction, as well.)

Kirillov also draws from other philosophies such as Descartes’ “I think, therefore I am,” affirming that “man is unhappy because he doesn’t know he’s happy… If they knew that it was good for them, it would be good for them, but as long as they don’t know it’s good for them, it will be bad for them. That’s the whole idea, the whole of it… They’ll find out that they’re good and they’ll all become good, every one of them.”

In other words, reality is what Kirillov makes of it in his own mind, which is what BSD!Dostoyevsky hints his ability is (but it isn’t).

It’s still a belief BSD!Dostoyevsky holds: that his beliefs create reality.

Kirillov muses, in conversation with his friend Stavrogin (bold is Kirillov):

“He who teaches that all are good will end the world.”

“He who taught it was crucified.”

“He will come, and his name will be the man-god.”

“The god-man?”

“The man-god. That’s the difference.”

In BSD, anything written in The Book becomes truth, and Dostoyevsky plans to use it to rid the world of the sins of ability-users. Similarly, Kirillov plans to use his decision to set people free, and Pyotr plans to use Kirillov’s mental instability and philosophical suicide to erase consequences for his own sins. And as Kirillov also believes this will make moments heaven, Dostoyevsky expresses (using religious language) that this will make a heavenly reality as well:

As Demons goes on, we find out that Pyotr Stepanovich had struck a deal with Kirillov. Since Kirillov really tries to believe that everyone and everything is good, when Pyotr asks him to kill himself and write a note specifying something Pyotr won’t specify until the time comes, to help Pyotr, Kirillov agrees. Pyotr notes that he doesn’t tell Kirillov what he plans—to have Kirillov take the blame for the murder of their mutual friend Shatov, which Pyotr commits—because he thinks that if Kirillov knows in advance, “Kirillov could not be relied upon.”

The irony, of course, is that by seeking to prove the ultimate will in the universe is of the individual, that the individual is his/her own god, Kirillov becomes an unwitting tool in Pyotr Stepanovich’s terrible plots. He contributes to the unjust death of someone he cares deeply for by taking the blame. And Kirillov did not want this at all. When Pyotr comes to collect, he realizes what he’s done (bold is Kirillov_:

“He is dead!” cried Kirillov, jumping up from the sofa.

“He died at seven o’clock this evening, or rather, at seven o’clock yesterday evening, and now it’s one o’clock.”

“You have killed him!”

…

“You are a strange man, though, Kirillov; you knew yourself that the stupid fellow was bound to end like this. What was there to foresee in that? I made that as plain as possible over and over again. Shatov was meaning to betray us; I was watching him, and it could not be left like that. And you too had instructions to watch him; you told me so yourself three weeks ago.…”

…

“I won’t write that I killed Shatov … and I won’t write anything now. You won’t have a document!”

Pyotr refuses to leave until Kirillov is dead, and Kirillov explains that “I won’t put it off; I want to kill myself now: all are scoundrels.” The exact opposite of what he expressed before about things being good.

"He’s guessed the truth at last! Can you, Kirillov, with your sense, have failed to see till now that all men are alike, that there are none better or worse, only some are stupider, than others, and that if all are scoundrels (which is nonsense, though) there oughtn’t to be any people that are not?”

And then we see what motivates Kirillov is a desperate need to have a reason to match his desire to live. It’s literally one of the main themes of Bungo Stray Dogs (bold is Kirillov):

 “If you stopped yourself, you become God; that’s it, isn’t it?”

“Yes, I become God.”

…

“Let it be comfort. God is necessary and so must exist… But I know He doesn’t and can’t… Surely you must understand that a man with two such ideas can’t go on living?”

And of course, this is BSD!’s Dostoyevsky in what I am betting is a direct quote from Demons as translated into Japanese: If god does not exist, then I am god.

His man-god belief, like Dostoyevsky’s in BSD, are explained thusly (bold is Kirillov):

“I’ve always been surprised at every one’s going on living,” said Kirillov, not hearing his remark.

...

“Hold your tongue; you won’t understand anything. If there is no God, then I am God.”

“There, I could never understand that point of yours: why are you God?”

“If God exists, all is His will and from His will I cannot escape. If not, it’s all my will and I am bound to show self-will.”

“Self-will? But why are you bound?”

“Because all will has become mine. Can it be that no one in the whole planet, after making an end of God and believing in his own will, will dare to express his self-will on the most vital point? It’s like a beggar inheriting a fortune and being afraid of it and not daring to approach the bag of gold, thinking himself too weak to own it. I want to manifest my self-will. I may be the only one, but I’ll do it.”

That’s a direct quote.

BSD!Dostoyevsky manipulates human will to lead people into committing suicide, and is killing them to create a new world without the sins of ability-users:

Kirillov says this right before he finally writes the false confession to Stavrogin’s murder and kills himself:

“Man has done nothing but invent God so as to go on living, and not kill himself; that’s the whole of universal history up till now. I am the first one in the whole history of mankind who would not invent God. Let them know it once for all...

“I am awfully unhappy, for I’m awfully afraid. Terror is the curse of man.… But I will assert my will, I am bound to believe that I don’t believe. I will begin and will make an end of it and open the door, and will save. That’s the only thing that will save mankind and will re-create the next generation physically; for with his present physical nature man can’t get on without his former God, I believe. For three years I’ve been seeking for the attribute of my godhead and I’ve found it; the attribute of my godhead is self-will! That’s all I can do to prove in the highest point my independence and my new terrible freedom. For it is very terrible. I am killing myself to prove my independence and my new terrible freedom.”

Yet Kirillov is inventing god: himself. He signs the paper and then does kill himself, but it’s not without the last terrible, terrifying realization that he does not want to die. He wants to live. And he fights Pyotr, biting his finger nearly off, before committing suicide. But Kirillov, as wrong and tragic as his philosophy is, is the one who recognizes the theme of Demons.

“Stavrogin, too, is consumed by an idea,” Kirillov said gloomily, pacing up and down the room.

The point of the entire tragedy in Demons is basically if you are consumed by an idea, it will turn you into a devil. Kirillov is, along with Shatov, perhaps the most likeable main character in Demons (others are far more horrifying as their various political, religious, and philosophical ideas take them over). And so is Dostoyevsky in BSD: consumed by his ideas, convinced his will is all that matters.

It won’t end well.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep16: Rex and Weevil Do Not Understand “Rock Bottom”

Hey guys.

Hey.

So... kind of crazy out there, right?

Well, you know what they say. When life gives you lemons, you watch Netflix.

Anyway, Yugioh is racing down this canyon that should be going up alongside the 101 and through the middle of many cities. Don’t worry about it.

And then I found out the name of a card I haven’t seen yet and wow it’s a name.

I’m really glad that Rex Raptor, dinosaur enthusiast, has just no idea how to name dinosaurs and does so like a 6 year old child. Hornsaurus.

(read more under the cut)

So this episode is mostly about Rex and Weevil’s tragic backstory, and thankfully, it’s really not that tragic. We’ve had SO MANY bizarre and weird backstories under our belt, that to have a completely normal one is just...wild to me. They’re so freakin normal.

And on the way, our train just...

OK Train...anyway, I’ll do my best to show which scenes are flash back and which are not, but like bear with me because it flashes back like every other scene it feels like.

So Rex waxes long about that very short time in which he and Weevil were the best ever duelists in Japan (other than Kaiba, I guess, who they failed to mention in this flashback.)

(I used to have a very soft performance fleece sweater the exact same shade as Weevil’s jacket there, popped collar and everything, with piping outline. Don’t judge me, it was the 00′s, I’m just shocked that Weevil also shopped at Old Navy.)

(However I have no idea what’s going on with Rex’s three layers of clashing outfit styles that he has going on. A turtleneck under a thick button up jacket under an open fringe jacket is so much of a 90′s vibe.)

Up until now, bro has been PRETTY SURE every episode that Rex and Weevil are originally from America. I don’t know how I feel about being so right on the money about this one when the episode outright said that they’re from Japan. I don’t really want to out-Yugioh my brother, because at some point, I’ll accidentally let slip that in writing this blog I have accidentally gained all Yugioh knowledge, just like Noah did that one time when he was stuffed into that brain orb.

Just please don’t don’t ask me how this game works, I still have absolutely no idea.

Weevil and Rex had adoring fans in two-shaded polos exactly just like the type I used to wear in high school. But, their fans all left them the moment Weevil lost one single game against Yugi Muto.

Harsh. But granted, I feel like the people of Domino have rabbit memories and if you aren’t actively in the news every day because your blimp got abducted by sea pirates, then who the hell is EVER going to know who you are?

But youknow, Rex and Weevil are pretty sure that dodging getting murdered by Pegasus was actually their last shot at fame. It’s over forever. They’re done. Done until they beat either Joey or Yugi which...very specific, but, it would make you somewhat famous if you did that by simultaneously destroying the Caltrain.

And Weevil is like gunning for the King of Games title but...apparently no one in this episode wanted to mention to Weevil that the “King of Games” moniker actually went to Raphael?

That he needs to beat Raphael...not Yugi Muto?

Nobody?

Nobody feels like mentioning that neither Yami nor Yugi could possibly still be King of Games and that Weevil has no really good reason to be here? I mean it would save Weevil a lot of time. It would also save me a lot of time. We could just walk off this train and go back to what we were all doing before this happened, but nah, lets keep the lie going, because apparently Yami can’t bear to tell the truth, just like his host.

Waiiiit, isn’t Rebecca the King of Games because she beat Yugi in S1?

It’s the freakin Malfroy/Elder wand, it’ll be important in Ch 40 I’m sure of it. I’m sure they’re not going to just...forget...all of the people that beat Yugi before.

Man. Maybe that’s why Yugi is so hell bent on keeping tabs on Rebecca? Just to youknow...make sure she doesn’t tell anyone that she hella beat him that one time because otherwise Kaiba would have lost his freakin mind (again) that Yugi lost that title basically the same afternoon he came back from Pegasus’ island.

Also Rex and Weevil once charged for headshots and this makes them vile, terrible people for some reason.

Apparently this is a bad practice? I mean if you’re famous enough please charge for head shots, you need to make money between playing cards. Take it from this jaded artist, always sell out so you can save money for when you will absolutely get carpal tunnel.

Whatever. Back to Rex who is certain that he is not famous anymore because he lost to Joey.

S4 and still everyone is certain that Joey is bad at cards. Joey will just never be free from this.

It was beautiful anime food for like ten seconds until he did this. How dare. Literally though, how did he do that? Was that burger made out of potato chips?

Can we talk about what a freakin crime it is I can’t watch my Nick at Night retro shows on Netflix or Hulu? Like hell I’m going to get a third streaming service so I can watch and admire how bad “I Love Lucy” aged. I want to see how incredibly off-putting Fonzie is as an adult. But nah. Not even allowed. You can only watch Cheers.

Cheers. What am I? 65? Cheers wasn’t on Nick at Night. My Mom watched Cheers. Gross.

This show trying to convince me so hard that Rex and Weevils lowest point wasn’t when they were 5 seconds away from being set on fire and having their soul removed by Maxamillion Pegasus.

Like for reals, the lowest point for ANYONE (except for the Ishtars) on this show was when they were trapped on that island, without any camping supplies, surrounded by human skulls, Bakura pre-exorcism, and so many other duelists who were probably going to eat them had the tournament gone 24 more hours than it had.

The island that also had a basement that was entirely full of cultists who absolutely murdered a guy right in front of us.

Like when they finally got out of the island’s huge ass forest, their dinner included a soup filled with Pegasus’ eyes.

I would have gotten pissed on by like 70 stray dogs to get off that island, y’all.

So one of the best things about this blog is I don’t have to worry about the restraint of a.) looking professional b.) the fear of sharing my actual real deal opinion. Everywhere else I post, I can’t share anything. I’ve come to terms with this, and so I hide my hot takes deep, deep within this Yugioh blog and the only people who suspect my art rage are like...y’all in the corner of Tumblr who do not care about what I’m talking about.

++++++++++++THIS IS MY HUGE RANT ABOUT ART POLITICS AND ART BITTERNESS FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS. WE’RE QUARANTINING SO MUCH OVER HERE DUE TO THE VIRUS THAT I AM GOING A LITTLE BIT HOUSE CRAZY+++++++++++++++

But like MAN I need to mention something. Both Joey and Rex are completely off base. Both of them.

Like I’ll be real, because of the sudden extra time I have on my hands, I was originally ranting quite a bit about art culture and stuff and I will admit it was projecting somewhat onto a TV show that was written before the recession and the gig economy basically came and laid a huge dump across the creative industry.

However, I really, really, really don’t like it when people naively say “I’m successful because I did the research, I did the work, and then I got a following despite doing no marketing at all,” LIKE HELL YOU DID, DUDE. And there’s certain places I go where this is the mantra of a hell ton of ppl who don’t believe in luck, and I have to just suck it in because they succeeded at a young age. Because inversely, if anyone doesn’t succeed right away--clearly they don’t work hard enough, right?

I won’t dig into real world stuff because that’s...the real world and the real world is a bummer, but even in the universe of Yugioh there’s this crazy disparity in duelers that the people on the top refuse to acknowledge and the people on the bottom have absolutely no way to cope with so they become insanely bitter about it.

Mai has mentioned that despite all of her hard work and success--because she isn’t the top 4 duelists of Kaiba’s tourney--no one knows who she freakin is. The card industry is so toxic, that even KAIBA dropped out.

And even without Kaiba to compete against anymore, Mai still wasn’t able to get in there to fill that void. The void that also has Marik and Odion in it, despite the fact that I’m pretty sure Marik will never touch a card ever again and might be back to living underground or on a boat in the middle of no-where. And we don’t even need to mention Bakura, right? Bakura who should have also been here to fill the void of fame, but his face probably only comes out fuzzy on camera like people haunted by that girl from the Ring. So we’ll just ignore Bakura, that makes sense, I can accept that canon.

But really...it’s just Joey and Yugi at the top of the crop when there should have been room for at least 4.

So, it’s interesting that the Oricalchos in this situation is the “get me popular quick” drug that will somehow give Rex and Weevil what they need for automatic success because I see people desperately looking for this SO MUCH online. I have seen so many post “This is how I got 100000 followers in 100 days,” and it’s always the same story that isn’t so much about hard work, but more how to game a broken system until all other competitors are invisible. And then there’s the hidden factor about...luck...that really offends people although we all know that it exists.

But just remember I’m not allowed to have this opinion that luck...exists...So if anyone asks, I never said this.

And also...if Rex and Weevil had any support up until now from these kids who have been stuffing them in the trunk for over a dozen episodes, they wouldn’t have done any of this.

So talking as a jaded Millennial, I’m not gonna judge you if you take your Oricalchos, if you know what I mean. Everyone has their reasons, and no one’s too good not to ever do it, lets be real.

+++++++++++++++END OF THIS RANT, WOW, I WANT TO SAY THAT WHILE SLAPPING A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE IN A GENTLE MANNER+++++++++++++

So I realized something. This cliff face is sort of an iconic train, but it’s the wrong train.

This is the Amtrak in the middle of Nevada/Utah, pretty sure. I know that shade of orange. I’ve done the Nevada drive a lot.

And part of the reason I’m even sleuthing into this is because as an artist I like to see where art inspiration comes from. It doesn’t just come from a void--they clearly did research and I just want to find out...how it happened.

So anyway, like I said last time, the Amtrak is in charge of the Caltrain management, although the Caltrain is not part of Amtrak. And so you get similar paint jobs--it’s just that Amtrak has blue topped cars, and the Caltrain cars are typically red. Yugioh safely did red, white and blue, which both cars do, to an extent, being American trains.

It’s possible that they decided to look up scenic trains in California and were like “this one looks neat.” This one is also named the “California Zephyr” which makes it seem super Californian but in actuality it goes from Emeryville, California to Chicago. Only problem is that Emeryville is North of Oakland, and we’re supposed to be taking the train “to the airport” when the airports are in Oakland or San Mateo. This train doesn’t go to the airport. You just drove by the airport.

This train also doesn’t go to Florida. Chicago is North, way north. This train exists to be a slow, scenic train for old tourists who want to sleep in cramped spaces or jaded millennials writing their award winning novel. It has no other purpose.

So, it doesn’t at all match anything story wise...but it looks cool. They would never take this train if the world was going to end, and Rebecca wouldn’t know it exists, but, it looks cool.

But anyway, onward to the next episode. I’ll be kind of bunking in my home for a while since my entire area basically shut down, so maybe I’ll get the next updates done earlier than usual? Maybe even catch up on my backlog? hm. Possibilities.

And if you just got here, this is all the Yugioh recaps in chrono order.

[sorrelstream]

entering “proper grammar” mode because I’m writing this on a google docs first and I don’t want to deal with all those ugly squiggles ahdfsdfds…

But!! Here’s the fully answered Ailuornymy question list, as requested by anon :D! More below the cut!

Favourite canon warrior name?

Hmm… let’s see… Honestly? Probably Silverstream! I don’t think we get many -stream suffixes anymore and there’s something soooo pretty about her name and the way it flows !!

Least favourite canon warrior name?

Snowbush. There’s something so clunky about the way this dude’s name reads in my head and I don’t know why!!! Also Harrybrook >:(

Warrior you’d most like to rename?

Harrybrook. I just!! It doesn’t sound nice at all please give him a better name :( Best name-change name? One-eye! I’m not sure if she asked for her name change or not, but I’ll admit “One-eye” is a pretty baller sounding name and I love that. Also Deadfoot has a cool name too (though I wish he had asked for that name change rather than saddled with it :/)!

Favourite canon character overall?

 Mousewhisker and Hazeltail! They’re two unimportant side characters that don’t really do anything ever but man do I love them with my whole heart <3!

Least favourite canon character overall? 

Thistleclaw and Crowfeather. I’ve talked about why I don’t like either of them a lot before so to keep it short they both make me incredibly uncomfortable nor do I enjoy reading about them at all.

Favourite Warriors book? 

The Darkest Hour! It was my first Warriors book that I read from the main series (Sasha's manga was the first Warriors book in general and how I got into Warriors), and MAN does it still stick with me! So many scenes from that book are just iconic. 

Least favourite Warriors book? 

Anything from Dawn Of The Clans honestly :'). I tried so many times to get into reading that arc and I never could get into it -- it just bored me any time I tried. Same for AVoS, eh.

Favourite canon scene or dialogue of all time? 

Such a random scene but there’s a scene I think about all the time from Power Of Three where Lionpaw has a nightmare about Hollypaw, and she just playfully (? ominously?) says “I’m going to get you” while hidden in the shadows before turning into a fox and attacking him. I think about it SO much…...

Favourite canon leader of all time? 

Crookedstar, followed closely by Tallstar! I love them…. 

Character you think deserved better? 

SO, SO MANY. IT’S UNREAL. Hollyleaf didn’t deserve to get killed off the VERY NEXT BOOK after she came back to ThunderClan, Snowkit didn’t deserve to get killed off just to push Speckletail into the nursery, Nightcloud didn’t deserve… literally anything she got both in canon and how the authors and fandom demonized her, Honeyfern…. Silverstream… the list goes on really :’/

Character you’d like to see “morally” flipped (made “bad” or made “good”)?

Leopardstar, kinda?? But not like. Morally flipped? I guess? I just mean I wish they had gone more into her redemption arc and why she allied herself with Tigerstar besides just “oh she was in love with him”. So it’s not that I wish she was morally flipped, but I wish they went more into her morality because she’s soo vague as it is (and, frankly, maybe I’m biased because I like her but I would’ve loved to see her overcome her initial prejudice or perhaps work for forgiveness for her Clan - perhaps her alliance with Tigerstar was out of worry for the entirety of her Clan since she saw him as the strongest cat and not just… because she “loved” him). Same for Breezepelt, honestly! They kept dancing between “he’s a troubled son of a negligent/abusive father” and “he’s evil :)” and personally? As a child of a negligent father who also abandoned me, it would’ve been way more … I’m not sure WHAT the word I’m looking for is but I think Breezepelt’s story would’ve been better if they focused on making him a troubled teen of a negligent, bad father and actually embraced Crowfeather being an antagonist in PO3 instead of not wanting to make him look bad. It’s just weird the erins flip flop between “this character is evil” and “this character is ok” so much it’s FRUSTRATING :/

Favourite AU (alternate universe) concept? 

Answered here! 

Warrior code rule you think is best?

Always help a kitten in need, no matter their heritage! I know that’s not the exact wording but anyways. Perhaps I’m biased because I, in general, don’t like reading about child death (I know it happens and I can handle it in some plots but sometimes it’s just so excessive), but in general I think it’s one of the best and genuinely helpful code laws, especially because kittens always deserve a chance at life. I think the second best rule would be the one that states a warrior does not need to kill to win a battle, because I think that adds a lot more depth (potentially) to how warriors value the lives of others and creates a bigger scene? scandal? when someone is killed in battle versus dying of wounds later on. It also, again, keeps the youngsters like apprentices safe!

Warrior code rule you think shouldn’t exist/should be changed?

If you know me, you won’t be surprised because it’s the same answer as always: the leader’s word is law. I’ve spoken a lot about that code before and even have a comic about its flaws, so I won’t go into it too much here, but I just think it’s a recipe for disaster.

Describe your ideal vision of Starclan/clan afterlife.

Hmmm let’s see… my ideal vision of StarClan/clan afterlife would be a little bit like what it’s like in canon at the moment but with a few twists. I think the borders would dissolve in StarClan so there’d be less in-fighting (though I imagine, after growing up your whole life hating your neighbors, a lot of cats have a hard time getting used to the no-boundary life-style of StarClan, and a lot of young/new spirits tend to stick within their own Clan cliques before venturing out and meeting former members of other Clans. Older spirits would be the ones most used to interacting with former members of other Clans). I think there’d be sections that mimic the corporeal Clan’s territories in theme, but with different landmarks and such so that new spirits have a new world to explore. I’d also take away the fading aspect because I don’t really think that’s… fair? I guess? It’s weird to me but I’d prefer not to go into it. I’d also make it so that there’s no great wisdom to these cats - or, at least, the wiser StarClan spirits are the ones that have been around for as long as anyone can remember. They wouldn’t be able to interfere with the living as much in canon and can only really visit medicine cats, or possibly leaders, in dreams; anyone else has to go to the sacred area to commune with the dead. Not sure what else though! This is just kind of a general idea.

Traditional or non-traditional naming. Thoughts?

I think both have their merits! While I prefer traditional naming systems because I enjoy seeing the way people develop suffix meanings and assign well-known meanings to them (and even connotations!), plus it helps me personally assign even the smallest trait to a side character so they feel just a little more real, I see why people would enjoy non-traditional naming systems as it does give more breathing room for individual name creation. Also, I’m not gonna lie, there’s some gorgeous lyrical names out there that flow beautifully. My heart will always belong to traditional naming, though, I think. 

If traditional: What non-traditional suffix would you include in your system? If non-traditional: What’s your favourite canon suffix?

Traditional! I actually have included some non-traditional suffixes in my system, just for variety! But those are: -throat, -pool, -belly, -fern, -bee, -berry, -chirp, and -tooth, for example. There’s actually quite a few more but I don’t wanna list every single addition shfbd!

Best thing about the clan system as a concept in your opinion?

Hard to pick, honestly! But I do think the best thing about clans as a system is their unity; they’re a little society that has each other’s backs, and the care for young and elderly a lot is touching!

Favourite Warriors fanfiction (or fanfiction writer)?

HA this might be an obvious answer, but 100% solacefruit on ao3 (also: @/ailuronymy and @/burnt-sycamore on tumblr!). His worldbuilding is to die for and there’s something so charming and attention grabbing about his writing style that always has me waiting for the next update. Seriously, probably one of my biggest writer inspirations. 

Favourite Warriors fanartist (includes animators)?

Answered here!

Most interesting villain?

Mapleshade and Sol, honestly. I’ve rambled about Mapleshade before, I think, but I think her story could have had a lot of potential to call out the misogyny and bias of StarClan and the code, and how mollies are often punished harsher than the toms for their code-breaking. Her story also features how weird the warriors are with the warrior code - it’s like they cherry pick what they want to believe? Oakstar sends three innocent kittens out of the Clan, presumably to die (which they do), despite the code speaking to never endanger a kitten’s life no matter their heritage, and no one ever questions him, or the rest of ThunderClan, for standing by to watch kittens die? Even Frecklewish outright stated she watched the kittens die and did nothing about it. Why? Why was everyone okay with punishing Mapleshade for breaking a rule of the code but no one questioned Oakstar or anyone else in ThunderClan for kicking out the kits alongside Mapleshade, when it was Mapleshade’s crime and not the kits? And why doesn’t Appledusk get punished or ostracized by his clanmates as severely as Mapleshade did? It had a lot of potential but it’s just a mess. Anyways - onto Sol. Another interesting concept kinda messed up by the Erins. In general, I really love villains that are just nuisances at best and no real threat - kind of like Heinz Doofenshmirtz - and with Sol’s backstory being the way it was, he was the perfect opportunity to have him be this little antagonistic shithead who, while annoying and causing problems, wasn’t actually a serious threat, and he of all villains would have had the best shot at redemption I think.

Favourite canon clan?

RiverClan! I love their aesthetic, their territory, and their general vibes. In love with water-based places <3!!

What would you ask Erin Hunter, if you could?

“Would you hand the series off to a new team of writers?” All good series must come to an end, but with Warriors being as broad as it is, I think this is a series where spin offs can be made and still thrive - just not with the current author staff we have at the moment. There’s lots of people with amazing, creative ideas for Warriors, and I know this is just a fantasy at best, but I would love to see a new writing team take over and weave brand new stories and worldbuilding with it in spin-offs. Hell, even I’d love to take a crack at publishing a Warriors spin off, but, again, it’s a fantasy at best.

Top five prefixes (canon or otherwise)?

Sorrel-, Chub-, Mink-, Rose-, and Vervain- (you can tell I like these prefixes considering these are all prefixes of characters featured in my webcomic besides Sorrel-, which is used for my wcsona’s name ha!) Honorable mentions to: Black- (or any color based prefix like Yellow-, Red-, Ginger-, Blue-, Gray-, White-, etc. I don’t know why but I’m fond of them), Beetle-, and Fidget- (which isn’t a traditional prefix, but I think it’s cute hehe.)

Top five suffixes (canon or otherwise)?

Just narrowing down for traditional because I need a smaller pool to pick from habdfsd but! -face, -flower, -stripe, -storm and -nose! 

If you were on Drunk Warriors Rants, what would you talk about?

I have no idea what Drunk Warriors Rants is actually but I’m assuming it’s something where you get drunk and rant about warrior cats so… I would absolutely rant about Hollyleaf and mainly the wild mischaracterization the fandom has made of her break down and the murder of Ashfur. It irks me to no end how so many people have pushed this weird concept that Hollyleaf was aware her parents were Crowfeather and Leafpool when she murdered Ashfur to the point that most people I talk to genuinely don’t realize this, because not only does it just make so sense narratively but I feel like it really does take away from the depth that is her character. I think Hollyleaf is one of the few characters we get, like, an actual depth to, who is developed beyond “typical protagonist with love interest”, and has an interesting arc, downfall, and redemption. When she killed Ashfur, she was totally unaware that Leafpool and Crowfeather were her parents - in fact, the entirety of Sunrise is about Hollyleaf, Jayfeather, and Lionblaze trying to figure out who their parents are, so I honestly don’t know where this whole “Hollyleaf knew about her heritage when she killed Ashfur” thing came from. It really ruins her arc by making her out to be some nonsense cat who killed to keep a secret she spilled anyways, and not a cat who killed to keep a secret she didn’t fully understand yet, who then completely unraveled once she discovered the origins and how her existence completely went against everything she was raised to believe in.

What would your warrior name be?

Pretty obvious answer but my warrior name would be Sorrelstream! Or possibly Sorrelstripe, but I lean towards Sorrelstream. I love to swim a lot actually but I wouldn’t say I’m a particularly strong or skilled swimmer but hey… It’s my warriors sona and I get to give him one (1) skill.

Bonus questions:

Describe your favourite original Warriors characters! 

HONESTLY this question is a little tough because I have such a huuuge cast of original warrior characters it’s hard to narrow down! I’d say if you’re interested in hearing more about my ocs or seeing them in action to check out my @/roseface blog, which is dedicated to my wc comic, or check out my ao3 account (kiittenteeth) because I’ll probably be posting warriors-centric original character stories there soon!

Describe your original Warriors clans! 

Heyyy fun fact! I’m actually working on a small novel fanfic (only about ten chapters long) featuring my fanclans! They’re a group of four Clans set in an abandoned gated neighborhood/area - FernClan (located in the local abandoned mall), PondClan (located in the abandoned golf course), GleamClan (located in the local abandoned restaurant/diner), and FieldClan (located in the abandoned K-12 academy school). I won’t go too much into them here since I want to explore their worldbuilding in my fic, but keep an eye out for them when I drop the first chapter of Ribs! 

Talk about your feelings about the Warriors series! 

Oh man. A lot. The series itself is… disappointing, at best, but I’m awfully attached to it no matter how many times I try to break away from it. It was my biggest media interest growing up (keyword: media), so it’s a pretty big part of me and the way I grew up. Plus I met a good chunk of my friends through warrior cats related areas, so :’)!!! It’s a series that despite all its flaws is incredibly close to me but I’m mainly here to read everyone’s fan content because MAN does the fan content go above and beyond!

(Asked by @/whocares-idont) What’s your opinion on fan made Clan pantheons? 

I LOOVE fan made Clan pantheons actually! Mythology was always something I loved learning about as a kid, and I’m particularly fond of the worldbuilding people make for the Warriors setting. I feel like creating a pantheon and mythos tied to it adds to the depth of the world and makes it all the more interesting and realistic, especially since mythology is such a huge part of so many cultures, both ancient and modern one. I think creating pantheons really adds to the setting people make with warriors, and, honestly, they’re always really fun to read about!!

[smilingformoney]

America’s Most Eligible 3 Diamond Scene: Celebrate Privately with Slater

You smirk at Slater and close the distance between you to whisper huskily… You: Just lead the way.

Slater steers you toward his bedroom, kissing your neck, jaw, and lips all the while. You: Never thought I’d be hooking up in the mansion again. Slater: I did… in my wildest dreams. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to bring you here. Slater’s strong arms envelop your waist, and you shiver when he gently nibbles your earlobe. You: We don’t have much time. Slater: I’m cool with that. After tonight, we’ll have all the time in the world. The two of you tumble onto the bed together, kissing each other passionately and fiercely. Slater pulls back to smirk at you. Slater: Tell me, Jamie… what do you want?

You: Right now, I want you… -On top of me.

Slater’s gaze burns on you as he shifts your hips against the mattress. Slater: I’ve got you covered. Your breath hitches in your throat as he lowers himself on top of you, his hips pressed against your own. When his lips meet yours, you run your fingers through the back of his hair. You: This is exactly what I had in mind. You lift your hips, and Slater groans, pressing back in kind. You wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, keeping him close. When Slater kisses you again, you part your lips and groan when his tongue slips past them.

-Underneath me.

You roll over on the bed so that you’re straddling Slater’s hips. He gazes up at you with hungry eyes. Slater: You take what you want. I like that. He grips your hips, then slides his hands teasingly up your torso, to your chest. You smirk at him. You: I plan on taking more than just that. With one quick, easy movement, you grind your hips down against his. He groans appreciatively. You lean down to capture Slater’s lips in a hungry kiss. He moans quietly as your tongue slides into his mouth.

Slater: Jamie… You: Shh. Your tongues tangle together as your hips move in perfect sync. Slater’s breathing grows ragged. You: Clothes off? Slater: Nah. I think it’d be sexy to keep them on. Besides, we’ve gotta save some mystery for the wedding night… You: I think we bypassed mystery a few thrusts ago. He chuckles and presses a gentle kiss to your cheek, before his lips travel back to yours. Slater: It’s crazy. I feel like I’m discovering you for the first time. You: Then consider this an education.

You: You should know, I like things… -Slow and sweet.

You: That gradual, agonising burn means everything to me. Letting that heat build inside you-- Slater presses his hips slowly again you, and you let out a groan. Slater: Something like that? You: You’re a quick study. Slowly, teasingly, his lips travel across every inch of exposed skin they can reach, leaving you breathless. You shut your eyes to bask in the sensation. You: Slater… Slater: I love it when you say my name. He continued his languid exploration of your body, his hips and mouth igniting your skin with every caress…

-Fast and breathless.

You: I don’t want time to think. I don’t want to take things slow. I need you to leave me breathless, Slater. Slater: Now that I can manage. His hands grip your hips with dizzying strength, and he kisses you fiercely as he presses hard against you. You: Mmmm… You feel overwhelmed by his presence, and the feel of his fingers gently digging into your skin. You buck against him, only to be surprised by how tight he’s gripping you. Slater: You are so unbelievably sexy, Jamie. You: Slater… You hold him tightly, closing your e yes and savouring the feeling of his body against yours…

And then, too soon, he pulls back. You: If you’re teasing me right now, I’m gonna be really mad. Slater: The opposite, actually. I love you, Jamie, and I want to give you exactly what you need. Slater: So tell me. Right now, right here… What do you want to do? You meet his earnest gaze and find that it’s full of heat, longing, and affection. You: Slater…

You: I need you to… -Hold me.

You: We have plenty of time to explore each other’s bodies. Right now, I just want to cuddle with you. Slater smiles adoringly at you. Slater: Has anyone ever told you how incredibly, completely sweet you are? You: Once or twice, but it always bears repeating. Slater laughs softly and sinks back against the mattress, pulling you against him. With one arm wrapped around your shoulders, he absently runs his fingers up and down your arm. Slater: Well, then… Jamie, you’re the cutest, funniest, and sexiest person I’ve ever met. No contest. You: Right back at you. You rest your head on his broad, firm chest and listen to his heartbeat. Slater: I know it goes without saying, but… I’m glad you’re my wife. Especially if it means a lifetime of cuddling like this. You: You’re my husband, Slater. For as long as we’re alive, you can have all the cuddles you want.

-Take me, now.

You: We won’t have another chance to hook up in the mansion. I wanna seize the moment while we can. Slater’s eyes burn ravenous and dark. Slater: Now you’re speaking my language. Slater seizes the hem of your dress and pulls it up to your hips. You groan raggedly when his fingers slip under the waistband of your underwear. You: Oh… You kiss Slater fiercely as he guides your hand between his legs, relishing in the moment he moans into your mouth. Slater: Jamie… you’re so sexy. The two of you move your hands in tandem, quickly finding a rhythm that makes you see stars. You: Yes, Slater… Don’t stop… Slater: Never. As your pace quickens, your groans and shallow breathing mingle with Slater’s. The heat of his body and scent of his aftershave floods your senses. Before long, you feel yourself trembling as heat builds in your hips. You: Slater… Slater, I’m gonna-- The words die in your throat as a tidal wave of pleasure tears through you. You feel Slater shudder against you, and as he moans your name, you fall headfirst into a state of ecstasy…

Not long after that, you and Slater are snuggled up under the sheets of his bed, holding each other close. Slater: That was… wow. You: I tend to have that effect on people. Slater sighs contentedly, his strong arms holding you close. Slater: I have to say, I never thought you’d marry me. I figured I’d hold a torch for you until I died. You: I’m sure you would’ve found someone else. Slater: There is no one else. As far as I’m concerned, you’re it. I could live a thousand years and never meet anyone like you. He’s quiet for a beat too long, and you nudge him gently. You: What are you thinking? +100 You: Nothing, nothing. I guess I was just thinking about how lucky I am to be married to you. Slater: I thought you were gonna ride off into the sunset with your ex-fiancée. I’ve spent the past few weeks trying to prepare myself for it. Slater: But the truth is, when I saw you at that altar with them… it kinda broke my heart. I never wanna feel like that again. You: And you never will. I promise.

You: Slater… -We belong together.

You: There’s no one in the world as perfect for me as you are. I swear to you, you’re it for me too. You: No one else challenges me like you do. No one else pushes me to be my best self. I wouldn’t give that up for the world. Slater: I feel the exact same way. You make me a better man, Jamie. I don’t know what I’d do without you. You press a gentle kiss to his lips. You: Lucky for you, you’ll never have to find out.

-My ex-fiancée wasn’t right for me.

You: They will always be my best friend, and I hate that I hurt them… but I had to do it. You: I was always meant to be with you, and you were always meant to be with me. You can’t fight fate. Slater: You really believe we were fated to be together? You: Absolutely. How else can you explain our crazy love story? Slater: Damn, Jamie. We’ve been married less than an hour, and you’ve already got me believing things I never thought I would.

You linger a brief moment in Slater’s embrace, then sit up in bed, smoothing down your clothes. You: We should probably head to the reception before they send a search party out for us. Slater: I swear, if I didn’t know we’d be spending the rest of our lives together, I’d never leave this bed. You: Lucky for us, we’ll have thousands of chances to do this again. Together, you and Slater leave the bedroom and head for your wedding reception.

[angelkurenai]

Guess the Avenger - Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Title: Guess the Avenger

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: During a game in an interview where you show just how well you know your costars and friends, you and Tom prove that you know each other like the back of your hands and are the soulmates everyone believes you are. However, when things about your life get revealed, the fans go crazy and the shipping of you two has no end.

“Do you- do you always carry a pair of spoons with you wherever you go?” Jimmy asked with a smile once the audience stopped cheering.

“What? Oh yes, always! Always.” he nodded his head as you all wiped out your answers from the small white-board and got your own rewards for getting the answer right, a bonsai tree. You were currently playing a game where you had to guess which person out of the five of you had done any of the things that Jimmy asked. You were sitting in the first row, between Scarlet and Danai, while the boys, Tom and Mark, were in the back.

“I think the real question should be: Is there anything this man cannot do?” you exclaimed “I'll dare you to try and find an answer to that one!” you grinned as the audience cheered and you friends and Jimmy all laughed. You felt a hand on your shoulder and looked back to give him a small wink as you gave his hand a squeeze.

“We're gonna spend too many hours in here and we won't come up with anything, that I know.” he chuckled, looking down at his cards for the next question.

“But I think, there's something else that I'm sure Mark would want to point out as well: Isn't it such a surprise how (Y/n) instantly knew the answer to the question that concerned Tom?” your best friend teased with a fake surprised look on her face, instantly making everyone laugh and you very shyly more than anyone.

“They know everything about each other, everything, you don't even have to complete the question, they will pop the answer immediately!” Mark emphasized over-dramatically, making you giggle and lower your head shyly.

“They can tell you the exact time and place it happened if it's an event, too. Not a surprise again, right? Well, of course not... if only they could remember the answers to questions about themselves this well, though!” Scarlett shrugged, looking at you with a knowing smile.

“And you know, about this game-” Mark spoke up again “It wasn't that hard to guess, yes, since we all got it right but I-” he chuckled “I was just waiting and waiting and thinking that, you know, when it's Tom's turn, (Y/n)'s got a certain point so in the back of my mind I forgot I forgot about Tom and I ended up looking at her and waiting for her answer in this instead of his.”

“Well, you weren't far from wrong!” Jimmy laughed “Alright, next one. A-and Mark, just try to get the answer right, focus on your board, yes?”

“Absolutely.” Mark nodded his head seriously “No matter how hard it is to not gush at those two?” he asked after a small pause, looking up with a raised eyebrow and everyone laughed, including you and Tom.

“Ye-yeah, no matter.” Jimmy snickered but tried to keep his cool.

“Ok.” again a small pause before he asked “And no matter how hard it is to not just ship them right here and now?”

This time Jimmy lost it and just laughed, nodding his head “N-no m-matter, yes.”

“Alright, ok.” he nodded his head as he looked down at his board, all of you waiting for a second and looking at him in case he had anything more to say but he only kept quiet... until you looked away and he just muttered sadly like a little kid “Scarlett we're not getting our shipping T-shirts out today.”

You couldn't control your laughter as you spoon in your stool and looked at Tom, who was laughing like everybody else, and pointed at him with a smirk but still as accusingly as you could “This is all your fault!”

“How so?” he raised an eyebrow but grinned at you.

“Because you so shipable, and yes that's a word now! That, and perfect, so I can't keep my hands off you.” you turned back straight to face the cameras but broke into a grin when you heard him laugh straight behind you.

“Always worth it, your cuddles are the best in the entire world, darling. And you have no idea how much I want to say this out loud.” he leaned in to whisper in your ear and you grinned, turning your head slightly to kiss his cheek. Something that wasn't really the best option at the moment because you already had the fans going crazy and cheering at our adorable whispering and close proximity.

“Alright, alright next one!” Jimmy tried to calm everyone down “Next one before Mark has a heart attack at how adorable you two over there are and we ran out of time.”

“Thank you, Jimmy.” Mark nodded his head, saying all too seriously but Jimmy only laughed.

“Ok let's see: This Avenger has admitted that their first kiss was their celebrity crush, whom they met while filming a movie.” he read and looked at al of you.

You looked at your friends to see that they all hesitated for a moment in deep thought, of course you knew the answer to that one but trying to play along you decided to pretend like you hesitated as well. You caught yourself grinning when you saw everybody's gaze after a few seconds fall on Tom, who was the only one scribbling his answer immediately and with much confidence. You knew that he knew the answer and it seemed that everybody else did, because as he looked up from his board he looked around him and saw everybody was looking at him already.

“What?” he asked innocently as he looked at them, but a grin slowly spread on his lips nonetheless.

You all laugh, looking back down at your boards and writing your anwers, as you shook your head and said with a grin “You just gave it away.”

“I'll tell you, I wasn't sure about this one but from his reaction...” Mark spoke as he wrote his answer “I'm 100% sure now. And I want Tom to verify it because, well, he clearly knows it.”

“I'll agree.” Danai laughed, writing her own answer.

“Alright, everybody ready?” he asked as you all gave him a nod “Then give us your answers-”

“I'll go first!” Mark exclaimed, turning his board with pride and confidence.

“(Y/n), is your answer then! Scarlett?” he asked her and she turned her board to show the same name “(Y/n) as well it is. Danai, you?” he asked her and she showed your name too so in the end with a heavy sigh you showed your own board.

“Me” you shook your head “Jimmy I thought we were friends! Why did you have to chose the most embarrassing one for me?!”

“I didn't chose them myself, I'm sorry!” he defended himself but still laughed “But- but why don't you tell us a bit more about that?”

“Yeah, sure, make it worse now!” you groaned, hiding your face behind your hands “See, it was during a movie so it was for the purpose of that movie.” you cleared your throat “And uh I was like 20? I don't know, maybe 19, or somewhere in between. Don't judge me guys, my parents were really strict and it feels like it's been years so everything has changed very much in- in general, you know, how kids act nowadays and all that. Anyhow, uhm I can't say I'm that embarrassedabout that because- come on! Look at this man!” you exclaimed, motioning with both hands at Tom who was already smiling “I'm actually proud to say that Tom Hiddleston was indeed my first kiss!”

And you should have probably said it a little more slowly but the damage was already done when you jumped in your seat and with wide eyes you noticed the audience all got on their feet and clapped for you while cheering. Well, you didn't think it would be such a surprise because they had seen your character kiss Loki but maybe, just maybe, it really had to do with the 'celebrity crush' part after all, which you forgot about and it was all out in the open at the moment.

“Tom-” you laughed shyly, glancing at him to see he was laughing as well “Tom knows this.” you waited for the audience to calm down, looking at the British man “I think I had actually told you about it being my first kiss even before the scene, right?”

“Oh yes, yes you had.” he nodded his head with a soft smile “And I was trying to make you laugh about it to calm you down. But truthfully? I was too freaking out on the inside as well, how could I not be with such a wonderful woman?”

“Stop it.” you breathed out a shy laugh.

“And- and we're talking about Thor 1, right?” Jimmy asked and you nodded your head.

“Yeah, it was the second Marvel movie I was in. Well, uhm with Iron Man 2 I was only in the afer-credits scene but it counts I guess. Anyway, in Thor 1 it was were we really met my character and in one of those few but very important scenes she had with Loki, there was a kiss as everyone remembers.” you stopped for a second as everyone cheered “I'm sure Mark and Scarlett remember the most.” you giggled “And uhm that scene right there, all those years back then - the first take of it in fact - was my first kiss. And I can happily say that it was with both Tom Hiddleston and Loki at the same time, 'cause that's the way I see it in all honesty!”

“Well, you do have a point. It was Tom but he wasn't acting as Tom, so there's a fair point. And you Tom have anything to say about it? Seeing as we've already broken the internet as it is.” Jimmy said with a small laugh.

“Well, I've known for years so it's no surprise to me. But now probably everybody will know about it so uh-” he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck but still shrugging with an adorable smile “I will only be honest by saying how incredibly honored and proud I am to have been her first kiss, because- because come on, who wouldn't brag about something like that?” he shrugged, grinning nonetheless.

“Or the celebrity crush part!” Scarlett pointed out with a smirk and he laughed.

“Believe me, Scarlett, that is something I barely hold myself from saying every chance I get!” he said and you laughed, shaking your head.

“That is also very true, and I speak from experience!” you pointed out.

“It's always fun to find out something new about you guys, trust me! Well, the I think everybody gets a tree because you are all correct- oh, wait, wait did yu reveal your answer Tom?” Jimmy corrected himself and stopped him before he could wipe his board clean.

“I didn't?” he frowned.

“No, we got carried away with talking about my first kiss in America TV!” you exclaimed “Very low, Jimmy, I will get you back for this!” you pointed at the man who only laughed.

“I'm still sorry about that, let's see if Tom got it right thought cause there might be a chance he messed it up- wouldn't that be funny?”

“Very” Tom chuckled, turning his board “But I'm afraid, no, my friend. I would never-” but he was cut off by the audience clapping for him.

You frowned “What is it- oh!” your eyes widened and a laugh escaped your lips when you turned to look at his board and so did your friends who just laughed.

“Is it really saying 'Future Mrs Hiddleston' there?” Jimmy asked

“Now, that depends on what she'll say for us to figure out if the answer is correct, though, right?”

“That is most definitely true, Jimmy.” he said with a small smirk and you laughed, turning to face him despite your cheeks burning.

“Is that a proposal?” you asked with a smirk, wanting to play along, and he shrugged with a grin.

“I have a ring if you'd like to go the traditional way.”

“Nah, we're from Asgard, we don't do that there.” you laughed, shrugging “Just give him a tree too!”

.

..

…

“Wait- wait is that a yes?” Mark asked with wide eyes.

“Oh my gosh, I think it is!” Scarlett exclaimed just as enthusiastically “Mark, go get our T-shirts, we'll be wearing them after all!”