the big dick nerd!eren drabble did so good so here’s some more!!!!
let’s discuss his first blowjob shall we. the whole thing started out pretty innocent just a lil makeout session bc you were becoming incredibly bored of the movie you were watching (love & basketball—his choice surprisingly). he just looked so pretty w his hair in a neat bun and black glasses framing his face so perfectly how could you not wanna jump his bones??? eren felt your hand trail up his thigh towards the place where he needed you most and felt his blood run cold, “just let me see it renny please? ‘feels so big i have to see it,” you purred squeezing eren’s dick over his sweats. “o-okay yeah a peek wouldn’t hurt would it?” he chuckled breathlessly, pulling his sweats down mid thigh and you were met with the biggest erection you’d ever seen in your life straining against the soft material of eren’s briefs. your silence began to worry eren and just as he was about to pull his sweats back up you wrapped your dainty hand around his wrist stopping him, “don’t be embarrassed baby i wasn’t thinking anything bad i was just…..admiring it,” you smiled pressing a kiss to his blazing cheek. “o-oh—uh okay it’s not too small or anything? do you think i could make you—um f-feel good with it?” he asked his eyes wide with wonder. you moved your body in front of eren’s and laid on your stomach, your feet swaying in air dreamily. “i think it’s more than enough—in fact i don’t know if i’ll even be able to fit it all in my pussy you’re just so big ren,” you fake pouted, flicking your tongue out to get a taste of the pre staining eren’s briefs. before eren knew it his entire dick was sheathed down your throat, your spit with a mixture of his precum dripping down your chin and onto his aching, full balls. “yes yes t-that feels so good y/n. do that thing with your tongue again please—fuckkkk yeah mhm mhmmm,” eren whimpered clutching onto his bedsheets for dear life. he’d already came two times—the first time happening just from you suckling on the tip but you didn’t mind at all. not one bit.
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imo everyone needs to have an album (or two or three) that’s like a vital organ to them . like an irrevocable part of who you are
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honestly the worst thing about adhd for me is that a new hobby or hyperfixation is one of the greatest sources of joy, but its always haunted by the knowledge that it won’t last and i don’t get to decide or even know how long. I can’t count on being interested in anything long term.
it feels like theres a clock ticking above my head and i cant see how much longer i get to enjoy something. i can’t start big projects for fear of never finishing them. i have to hold myself back from anything that requires long-term commitments or consistency because i can’t rely on future-me to follow through.*
when i pace myself and try to casually keep up with something after the hyperfixation ends it just isn’t the same, the joy is gone. when i say fuck it and just let myself run, i end up trying to cram years of a hobby into weeks or months. i bite off way more than i can chew, burn out spectacularly, and spend the next month feeling guilty every time i look at the pile of expensive, unused materials that i sat down one day and never picked back up.
Theres a toll that years of it takes on your self-trust, it compromises your ability to make decisions without second guessing the most basic things. “What will I want?” and “what will I like?” aren’t any less opaque at six months from now than six years. I can’t count on what I want. In a way, I can’t count on myself and there’s a grief that comes along with that.
i see so much about dealing with adhd shame, but i dont think i’ve heard more than one person express the grief that comes with losing something you really love, not because it leaves you, but because your body simply decides without your permission to stop loving it.
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