#I Do Not Like how Kevin turned out in panel two

[emry-stars-art]

Anyone that’s come to talk to me about this au: I am hugging you and/or placing a nice trinket in your hands, this was one of the funniest things that’s been brought up so far. Historically Andrew does not get along with his personal guards so Day assumes the worst when finally turning him over to Abram

And yes, of course you can have the full pic✨

[starkwlkr]

happy life, happy wife | hugh jackman

an: “you attract what you fear” GUYS IM SO SCARED OF A 55 YEAR OLD AUSTRALIAN 😭 definitely thinking about making marvel actress!reader x hugh an actual series… i have ideas

marvel actress!reader

Deadpool & Wolverine Press tour - Hot Ones

Hugh felt like he was going to die. Each wing was getting hotter and hotter, but immediately when he heard his wife’s name he forgot all about the spice.

“Hugh, your wife is part of the Avengers, how does it feel having your wife be part of such a huge franchise? Have you two talked about a potential team up with the X-men and the Avengers?” Sean asked.

“My wife . . . Oh god, I think I’m crying-”

“I can’t tell if you’re legitimately dying or completely in love with your wife.” Ryan told Hugh.

“Wait . . I am completely in love with my wife and I would legitimately die for her.” Hugh gasped as he rearranged Ryan’s words.

“Is that in the contract she made you sign when you married her? ‘I vow to die for you’. My contract said I had to give all my money to my kids and wife.” Ryan said.

“No, she’s amazing, um, if I start talking about her I think I might go on for hours,” he laughed. “Our kids do want to see their parents fighting the bad guys together. We would love to team up, maybe it could happen.” Hugh smiled.

“The entire movie would be them making out and her beating the shit out of you. I’d pay to see that.” Ryan added.

•••

Comic Con 2024

Like RDJ, your last Marvel movie had been Avengers: Endgame. After being in ten mcu films, it was time to say goodbye to your character.

But that was in 2019.

At this years comic con, you were back. The cast of Deadpool & Wolverine had taken the stage and showed their appreciation for the fans. After their panel, it was time to announce Marvel’s upcoming projects. Kevin Feige announced the Fantastic Four, Thunderbolts, Captain America 4, and finally the new Avengers movies, which everyone was extremely excited about.

After showing the title card for the upcoming Avengers film, Kevin turned to the audience.

“Something people have been asking, as of late, is who the heck is going to direct these two movies?” The audience clapped.

From the side of the stage, you were nervous. What if the fans didn’t like the idea of you directing the next two Avengers films? Your worrying caused Hugh to come to your rescue.

“Hey, they loved you as an Avenger, they will love you even more.” Hugh kissed your forehead. “If anyone says anything about this decision, they have me to deal with.”

You laughed at his words. “I really love you so much.”

“Love you too, bub.” Hugh was about to kiss you when Ryan cut in.

“I really love us too. I convinced half of the people here that we’re a throuple.” He said in the most serious tone ever.

Kevin announced you as the director. Your doubt of the fans not liking the announcement was proven wrong when you walked the stairs to the stage and stood next to Kevin. They cheered when they saw you were back.

As you said a few words, thanking Marvel, Kevin and the fans, you were being recorded by Hugh, who was being recorded by Ryan.

“That’s my wife!” Hugh cheered from backstage, holding his phone in his hand.

“She’s Marvel Jesus now, holy shit!”

•••

WIRED autocomplete interview

“Is Hugh Jackman married?”

“Yes, to me, Y/n, probably to half the population,” Ryan answered. “He’s Australia’s biggest slut.”

“All the times, I proposed.” Hugh laughed. “But yes, I am married and I love my wife very much. She’s stuck with me forever.” He lifted his hand to show off the wedding band.

“Funny, because she texted me right now. Her and Blake are in the courthouse getting married. So Deadpool three was actually made so our wives could divorce us and marry each other.”

[wordpress-blaze-169939984]

What is a narcissist?

What characterizes a narcissist? I've encountered this term frequently, not because my friends or colleagues have applied it to me, but rather due to my older sister's frequent use of it. She appears to believe that I fit this description. To diagnose someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), five out of the nine criteria from the DSM-IV-TR are necessary. Some of the traits associated with NPD include a heightened sense of self-importance, preoccupation with fantasies of power, wealth, success, and love, a constant need for admiration, a belief in one's uniqueness, a lack of empathy, arrogance, entitlement, a preference for associating only with important or special individuals, and a tendency to exploit others for personal gain.

It's crucial to distinguish between narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissism refers to certain exhibited traits in a person, where they don't meet enough criteria to be categorized as having NPD.

Allow me to elaborate on the fact that most of us possess elements of personality disorders to some degree. For instance, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is one of the most commonly discussed ones. Each of us experiences varying levels of OCD tendencies. Similarly, anxiety and periods of depression are universal; the key lies in the extent to which these disorders disrupt our daily functioning.

This principle applies to both narcissism and NPD. Celebrating our achievements occasionally and taking pride in reaching goals are healthy behaviors. There's no issue with that. Therefore, if someone labels you as a narcissist or suggests you have OCD, don't be overly concerned. More often than not, they might be projecting their own emotions onto you. Give them space to express themselves, and eventually, the genuine truth will emerge.

Examples and Anecdotes: Imagine a coworker who consistently seeks praise for their achievements and often downplays the accomplishments of others. While this behavior might seem narcissistic, it doesn't necessarily meet the criteria for NPD. On the other hand, someone with NPD might manipulate their colleagues into doing their work for them, exploiting their desire to please for personal gain.

Treatment and Coping Strategies: For those dealing with narcissism or NPD, seeking professional help from therapists or counselors is a crucial step. Cognitive-behavioral therapy and other therapeutic approaches can be effective in addressing the underlying issues and promoting healthier behaviors. Developing empathy, self-awareness, and coping strategies are integral parts of the recovery process. For friends and family, setting boundaries and encouraging open communication can help manage interactions with individuals exhibiting narcissistic traits. Remember that change takes time and dedication, but it's possible with the right support and commitment.

Source: What is a narcissist?

[blizzardfluffykpop]

Scaredy-cats

Summary: Trying to branch out of your comfort zone, you try a haunted house installation in the middle of March.

Oneshot

Fluff, Meet-Cute, Non-idol au

Trigger Warnings: It is a haunted house, so it has light/minor horror themes.

Word Count: 2,056

Jacob X Reader

[A/n: As @jinkoh said; we watched Wings of Escape together and well, here’s another addition of that brainrot we experienced there. To check out jinkoh’s addition(s) to it you can find ‘em on kebbi’s blog 🥰]

------

This year, you were determined to try things outside of your comfort zone. So when they announced a haunted house installation in March at an old youth hostel near you, you were all for it because “It’s just a haunted house. How bad can it be?” You were confident that it definitely couldn’t be spooky because it was becoming spring, daffodils were starting to bloom, and the outside ambiance would make for a non-scary experience. But what you underestimated was that it still was a haunted house. It wasn’t the outside that mattered. It was the actors and ambiance inside that did. 

---Pov Switch---

Jacob had applied for countless jobs and finally heard back on a security job. He was getting desperate, and anything would do for rent money at this point. So when he walked in, he wasn’t sure what the position entirely entailed until the person said, "You're aware this is for a security position watching live CCTV footage at a haunted house?" He nearly threw up, but considering it was also his last option, and that he was running low on funds, he could do it, right? "Yeah, that's fine." He should have never agreed to this. Although, he’s met all the scarers and has been friends with them long before this installation began. He still refuses to enter the ‘scarer floor’ after they decorated it, or he’d feel his stomach tie in knots. 

Even driving to work made his stomach turn. His guts twist every time he puts his car in park. All he ever wants to do when he walks up to the building is turn ducktail and run to his car. But that’s money on the line he can’t risk. He goes down the basement steps, unlocks the door, and gets inside, quickly turning on the lights and locking it behind him. He sighed in relief before checking everything over, inspecting all the cameras to see if they were working correctly. Before turning his two-way radio on and going, “Good afternoon!” He hears ten friendly voices greet him back. And he asks, “Anyone on the floor? Or are you all getting ready?” Getting various answers of; “Getting ready.” “Waiting.” “Snacking.” He laughs, “Any good snacks?” “Gummies, you want some?” “Hell yeah.” A few minutes later, a knock rings through the door. He peeks through the peephole and sees Kevin, “You’re not in costume. That’s nice.” “Don’t need you sick.” He puts out his hand, “Gummies?” Kevin hands him the pack, and he asks, “Everyone’s doing the same routine as usual, right?” Kevin nods, “Yeah, as always. Hopefully, no dates go awry this time.” Jacob laughs, “It was cute to see Younghoon take them around, though. It was much more pleasant to watch than your gorey scenes~.” Kevin rolls his eyes, “All I do is chop jello.” Which makes Jacob shiver, “It doesn’t read the same on the CCTV. It really looks like guts.” Kevin shakes his head at him, “Later?” He nods, “Yeah, later.” 

He eats his gummies, looking over the main control panel as the ‘night’ starts at the hotel. “Overhead lights off in 3… 2… 1… Stage lights on!” There are little cheers before they get into character, and he refuses to look up, only listening to his two-way radio and hearing the random songs Haknyeon performs every time Haknyeon turns on his radio, “Spooky scary plumbers~” Which makes Jacob tune in and cackle over the radio. He looks at his designated camera and sees him singing his heart out into the plunger. Jacob shakes his head and carries on playing on his phone. He looks up occasionally, assuring no one is actually getting murdered there. And he laughs as he watches a couple cowering behind Younghoon as if that would help their case. Younghoon, as if on cue, turns around with a sinister grin, effectively spooking them. Which makes his nerves stand on end at the motion. He shakes it off and goes back to his phone. 

And that’s how he spends the majority of his shift until he hears a door slam over the two-way radio someone’s turned on. He looks up to see Juyeon and Younghoon staring at it curiously. When Juyeon goes over the two-way, “Jacob… Uh… Someone just ran right into the utility closet and locked the door. We can’t help them out. I think Younghoon terrified them too much.” Younghoon scoffs, “I did not!” Juyeon continues, “Sure. Anyways, you’re the only one who has keys…” Jacob couldn’t believe his ears. This was the first time the crew didn’t have the situation under control. And of course, because he refused to do a floor check when the decorations were finally up, a door was left unlocked. 

With haste, he looks at his keys and the panel before deciding to go and get you. And with nerves shooting through him, he goes over the two-way, “You all go to our assigned rooms and stay in there!” Eric calls back, “Where do you want me to go!?” “The other side of the building- I don’t care!” He throws the door open after flipping the overhead lights on and rushes into the building as he searches for the correct key. He refuses to look ahead, only down at the floor, “Fuck! Why are there so many fake mice!” He rushes to the room you’ve locked yourself in, and unlocks it. He tries to push it open as he calls out, “Hey!” Inside the closet he hears you yell back, “Leave me alone!” “I’m not a scare actor!” He hears your mumbles, but you still don’t budge from the door. He sighs, “Please come on... This building scares me so much. I want to be out of here just as much as you do.” You ask softly, “You promise me you’re not wearing scary clothes?” “Promise. I’m wearing a jean jacket with flowers on it if that helps.” You sigh, “Pinky swear?” “Pinky swear.” 

---Pov Switch---

You hesitantly lift your weight off the door, and he carefully pushes the door in. You cover your eyes with your hands and peek out of them to see his blue jean jacket with pretty painted flowers on it like he said. No blood in sight. And you whisper, “I don’t… I don’t think I can move.” He gulps, “You want to stay here for a minute with me?” You nod, and he walks in and leans against the door. He mutters, “I hate working here.” Thinking he meant because he had to save scaredy-cats like you, you apologize, “Oh, I’m sorry.” He shakes his head, “Oh, that’s not what I meant!” He looks at you and says, “It’s not your fault! I just get scared easily and like, uh… It’s just not good for a person who doesn’t stomach this well.” You giggle at him and go, “Really? Then why are you working here?” He sighs, “It was my last option left. No one else would hire me.” You shake your head, “Is it good money?” “Not in comparison to being scared shitless every day at work.” You look at him confused, “Why don’t you quit?” “Until I find something else, it makes due. Plus, I've known my coworkers since high school, so it makes it easier.” You shake your head, “Well if it makes due and they’re genuinely nice guys outside of work. I understand.” He nods before asking, “Are you okay to go back out there?” “You can get us through? No scares?” “Yeah, promise, they’re all away.” You hear his two-way radio scratch, “I’m getting bored!!” He rolls his eyes, “Eric, our gardener… He’s a little excitable when it comes to scares. So we better move before he decides to be a meanie.” You agree and he calls back, “We’ll be out in three, no funny business.” “That’s my job, though…” “Eric…” “Fine.” He laughs as he opens the door and looks down. 

You follow suit gulping as you exit the doorway with him to see the fake mice, snakes, and spiders on the ground, “Can um… Can you hold my hand?” He nods, waiting for you with his hand out. You quickly grab it and cling to his side. “Not that far, right?” “No, but look down. Mice and snakes are somehow easier to stomach compared to the rest.” You let out an, “Uh-huh.” But your curiosity gets the best of you. You look up and see the amber lights illuminating the spiders and spiderwebs above along with the netting with fake limbs entangled in it dangling down at you. You let out a small, “Yikes!” He laughs, “Told you not to look up.” And you quickly look down with him. Every time the building creaks, you shiver, and he does too. When you see the bottom of the curtain, he says, “Here’s our exit.” He moves the curtain, and the sunlight greets you as he opens the door. You nearly kiss the ground as you mutter countless thank yous. 

You don’t let go of his hand even though you’ve made it out. Feeling a sense of comfort with his hand in yours before you ask, “Um… is there any way I can stay with you for a bit until I get my nerve back up to drive?” He nods, “Yeah, that’s fine. I just need to go back to my security room.” “Is it okay if I go with you?” “Yeah.” He leads you along the side of the building and down the stairs. He unlocks the door and leads you in before calling on the two-way radio, “Back to business.” He flicks the overheads off, and you watch as everyone exits their rooms on the cameras. He gestures for you to sit in the spinny chair, “I’m gonna grab the chair from over there.” He points to the corner and lets go of your hand before getting it. He joins you, his knee touching yours under his desk. You watch the CCTV roll, seeing all of the scares live at once, making you feel sick to your stomach again. And he goes, “I wouldn’t watch that if I were you.” You gulp and nod before looking down at your shoes. 

He distracts you from it by asking, “So what scared you so bad you ran to the first open door?” “Uh… It sounds silly.” He laughs, “I’m just as much of a scaredy cat as you, so it’s not silly. I promise.” “So uh, the one with the doll face? Yeah… So he was stitching that Frankenstein or something together. And it freaked me out… And when the butler-dude turned away from me to show me to the next room. I made my break for it, thinking it was the exit…” He laughs, and you pout, “I thought you promised it wouldn’t sound silly….” He shakes his hand, trying to hold his laughter back, “No, it’s funny, 'cause I would have done the same thing.” You grin and end up laughing with him. You stay with him his whole shift as he tells you a little about each actor to ease your nerves. “And the doll guy?” “He's a good dancer. But he loves what the two of us would consider scary dolls.” “Oh.” “Yeah, and he calls them cute.” You laugh, “Of course he does. What about you: any weird hobbies?” He shrugs, “Well, it’s not weird, but I like to play guitar and sing.” You smile, “That sounds lovely.” He smiles, “Maybe I could play for you sometime?” You ask, “There’ll be a next time?” “I uh… well, I’d hope so. You seem fun.” You laugh, “You just watched me get trapped in a haunted utility closet.” He laughs, “Yeah, I did.” “But I’d like to hear you play sometime soon.” 

You exchange numbers before he turns the overhead lights on and the stage lights off as all the actors head to the basement to change back into their casual attire. You start to leave since you and Jacob already had plans to meet again sometime soon. You figured it was best to get going while the going was good. Until he asks, “Since we both had a scary experience, what do you say to getting some ice cream with me?” You grin, waiting for him to join you, “I’d love to.”

[j2spntranscripts]

★ 2007 Chicon (J2)

Official name: Creation Entertainment's SALUTE TO SUPERNATURAL, SMALLVILLE AND BUFFY/ANGEL Location: Hyatt Regency Woodfield, Chicago, Illinois Time: Sunday November 11, 2007, ?10:40? am (GMT-6) Panelists: Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles Last episode: 3x06 "Red Sky at Morning" Nov 8, 2007 Next episode: 3x07 "Fresh Blood" - Nov 15, 2007

Question Index: 1A- Fav role 1B- Ten Inch Hero Distribution; Mohawk 1C- Fav episode so far 1D- Texan Accent request 2A- Blue Steel request 2B- Sam's s3 motivation 3A- Jared's car 3B- Greatest Fear 4- Pranks (Frederic Lehne, Jim Beaver) 5A- Influence for Sam and Dean's dynamic 5B- Fanfiction Int- Fraud Kevin Lawdermilk 6A- Jensen on "EL Paso" by Marty Robbins 6B- BUABS 2x14; Sam vs Meg's Latin accent 6C- Spanish Speaking (Jared) 7A- Fan gift; crochet wear 7B- Fan Request; JDM's number 7C- Sam vs Jack Bauer; Dean vs Jack Bauer

(video playlist/links and transcript below the cut)

(*if you notice any mistakes in the video transcripts or found more video coverage of the con please point them out thanks*👍) (*tumblr doesn't like dailymotion vids so I can only hyperlink them*)

*Purple text: corrections/suggestions from @detailtilted

[click here]- jared_cc3 by _sin_attract [click here] - jaredjensen_cc1 by _sin_attract [click here] - jaredjensen_cc2 by _sin_attract [click here] - jaredjensen_cc3 by _sin_attract

◘Jared_cc3 by _sin_attract (17:17)◘ ◘Jensen and Jared at Creation Con 13 by sarahmonious (0:10)◘ ◘ Jensen in Jared shirt by jensenluvx3 (0:12)◘

Jared: I don’t know what it is. Something about the whooole.. half- (circle gestures at Jensen)

Jensen: (sits down and scoots back in his seat) Ah.

Jared: I answered (?two? or ?a few?) questions better than you would have. (brushes back bangs and looks around) (audience laughs)

J2 Panel starts.

•Intro- (17:25-SA, 0:16 S, 0:20 J)

Jensen puffs out his chest and looks at his Sam shirt. Jared looks over and notices their height difference is smaller.

◘Chicago November 2007 - Main J2 Panel - Enhanced Edition Con Video - V2.0 by DetailTilted◘

Jared: Did they give me a short chair? (audience laughs) Did you ask them to give me a short chair? (audience laughs) How come- (slumps in the chair holding up his mic then sits up kicking up his feet)

◘Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki at Chicago Con… by DegaDreamer◘

Jensen: (smiles then looks at the audience making a circular gesture) It’s all coming together.

Jared: (laughs then turns to Jensen) Hey, do you remember when we did, uh-

Jensen: (looks down at his shirt) This is fantastic.

Jared: “Bedtime Stories” we were walking up the, uh, up the street?

Jensen: (to Jared) I’m not taking this off.

Jared: I'm not letting you.

Jensen: I’m going to fly on the plane with you, today. (Jared throws back his head, laughs, and then claps. The audience laughs.) And, I’m going to wear this.

Jared: You know you’re opening a.. bad can of worms, Jensen. Don’t go there. Don’t make me ta- Don’t make me show them what’s tattoo on my chest. (audience laughs and screams. Jensen laughs) I wished I had something tattooed on my chest. (chuckles) It sounded good.

◘Chicago Con 2007 - J&J's panel (part 1) by Carol Padalecki◘

Jensen: He does. It’s Ricky Martin.

Jared: It sounded- (facepalms briefly then nods to Jensen) It is.

Audience member: Did you see the red (?bouncy house?)

Jared: La vida Loca. It- Should we? (?Do it? or ?The which?)

Audience member: Jared in his underwear.

Audience member: Your answer to the drunk question even.

Jared: That’s right. They e- exactly! That's what- that's what my favorite drunk moment of Jensen was, was him tattooing.. Ricky.. Martin.. (audience laughs) on his bon-bon. (audience laughs)

Jensen: It was a low moment. (nods)

Jared: (laughs) (to Jensen) Do you remember when we were walking up the street in “Bedtime Stories?” (Jensen: No.) We were doing the scene- (laughs) (audience laughs) Did you- Did you finish my line, or did I forget my lines, or we just rushing? Remember there was a toad sitting there and we had to-

Jensen: Yes. (audience laughs) And what happened?

Jared: (laughs) I don't know, that’s why I was asking you.

Jensen: I don’t remember what we did two days ago. (audience laughs)

Jared: (laughs) fair enough. (Jensen: Um-) (to fan) Well, there’s your answer. That wasn’t better! (audience laughs and then cheers) (raises arms in victory) (Jensen says something to Jared off mic) (shrugs) She goes, “I think Jensen would answer the question better.” (Jensen laughs then nods) Don’t laugh at that!

◘Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles at Chicago Con by BeckyVids◘

Jensen: (shrugs) It’s hilarious (audience laughs) (Jared: Golly) Um, I don’t- I’m trying to r- When we walked up the path and see the frog?

Jared: We walk- we're walking up a street and we- we, uh- It was Mike Rohl- It was “Bedtime Stories” (Jensen: Yeah, yeah, yeah.) We're in New West, we’re walking up the hill. (Jensen: Right.) And then we had to finish that shot. And it’s like, “Uhh, well it could be a- I think maybe-

Jensen: Oh when you say, (Jared: “I got nothing.”) “I got nothing.”

Jared: You go, “Yeah. Me neither.” (Jensen: Right) Did you finish my line or were those the actual lines and we were just-?

Jensen: Those were the actual lines.

Jared: (to audience) We were acting. (audience laughs)

Jensen: That you- that you butchered. (turns to audience) We were schmacting as we like to say.

Jared: We were schmacting. (nods) Yeah. That was some schmacting. (throws hand up and turns to his left) Okay. That was that. (turns to his right) Where do we go too?

Audience member: This side.

Jared: (turns to his left) Alright. (turns back) Thank you for your honesty. (giggles)

•(2:15 DT, 1:43 CP, 0:44 B)- Chicon07J2;Q1A- Fav role

Fan: What timing, I get up to the mic and then they’re both on stage. (audience laughs and then cheers) What timing is that? Come on.

Jensen: I can leave. (audience laughs and no’s)

Jared: Woo-hoo! (puts down mic) I (?didn’t do?) that. (audience laughs) (?Where did that come from?)? (giggles)

Fan: 'Cause actually I have a question for both of you. (Jared: Okay.) First one you can both answer. Um, of all the roles you guys have done what was your favorite and why?

Jared: Ooo. I mean the obvious is. Sam.-

Jensen: I can answer for him. Sam (readjusts his seat) because he gets to work with Jensen Ackles. (audience laughs and cheers)

Jared: (shrugs) We have this connection (gestures to both of their heads) after two and half years now. He just gets my thoughts and takes ‘em (nods)

Jensen: (shakes head) Don’t even need to look at him. (audience laughs)

Jared: That was that. That was that. I have to say- I mean, the- the amount of things.. Maybe because we done now 55 episodes- Just the amount of- I’ve never worked so hard on anything on my life. And just the amount of things that we’ve been able to do from comedy to drama to.. horror to sci-fi to.. goofing around and.. to sleeping on camera. You know? Like, (audience giggles) I’ve done a few sleeping scenes. That’s interesting. I like that. More of that.

Fan: And the story about pranks too.

Jared: Yeah, the pranks we get to play on each other. So, I would have to go with the obvious and say a big ole Supernatural. (turns to Jensen)…. (turns to the audience) And his is Supernatural because he gets to work with Jared Padalecki. (audience laughs)

Jensen: Obviously. (audience woo’s) Yeah, I-I-I think he said it well. I mean, this, you know, there’s been other- other roles that I’ve wished I had the opportunity to.. dive into as much as I’ve got to-to dive into this one. Uhh, umm, character on Dark Angel I really enjoyed. (audience cheers)

Jared: (rushes out) My character from Gilmore Girls I also really enjoyed. (audience laughs) (looks at Jensen and then giggles)

Jensen: I thought (Jared throws his head back laughing) he was going to say New York Minute. (audience screams and laughs) (Jared kicks his feet laughing and hides behind his hand) (makes a chef kiss gesture) I love that one.

Jared: (scratches his nose with the mic) I’ve got nothing.

Jensen: The sensitivity.

Jared: I’ve got nothing. I’ve got nothing. I accept defeat. (Jensen laughs)

Jensen: (to fan) Ah, yeah. I-I gotta say Supernatural. It’s just simple because the-the amount of time we got- gotten to spend with these roles.. Yep.

•(DT 4:14, 3:45 CP)- Chicon07J2;Q1B- Ten Inch Hero; Mohawk

Fan: Um, Jensen I just wanted to tell you I haven’t gotten to see “Ten Inch Hero” yet. (Jensen: Yep) So, when you find a way to distribute it, make sure it’s all around the internet so we can all know.

Jared: I’ll make sure of that. (audience cheers) (nods to Jensen) I will.

Jensen: Just go to his blog space or whatever.

Fan: But, um, I saw the photos online and had a cow because they just look so different from what you look like and everything else.

Jensen: Yeah that was fun. That was- that was-

Fan: I had no idea that's what it was going to be like when I clicked on the photo and… “Wow” (giggles) (Jensen looks down pressing his lips together and smacks his leg) (audience laughs) Enjoyed it.

Jensen: Good times. They actually- they-they.. They know- They wanted a mohawk and, uh, they actually tested the extensions in my hair. They were going to make it like a-a, you know, a foot tall mohawk.

◘jensen by jjc7384◘

Jared: Did you have to take out your actual extensions?

Jensen: Yes. (audience laughs) Yes. Um, and I was just like, (Jared snorts to himself) my hair grew.. (throws up hand) just grew, uh, fast enough to- by the time production was ready it was- it was long enough to do that. (Jared nods and face shrugs) So, I was so glad I didn’t have to- to wear those things. But, uh, yeah that was- that was always the look of the character. So they just-

Jared: Yeah it sucks to have really long hair, huh? (Jensen: yeah) All the time. (audience laughs) Like when you can’t see past your eyeballs? (moves his bangs infront of his face)

Jensen: I don’t envy you.

Jared: Yeah, sure. (to fan) Alright, sorry. (audience chuckles)

•(5:27 DT, 4:56 CP, 0:27 jj)- Chicon07J2;Q1C- fav episode

Fan: I just have one other question and then a request. The other question is, what’s your favorite episode so far?

Jared: …hmm. (looks away in thought)

The boys turn to look at each other for a moment. The audience laughs. Jensen looks down.

Jared: (looks back to the audience) crickets. (audience laughs and Jensen smiles) (to fan) Not- not, “Bugs.”

◘jaredjensen_cc1 by _sin_attract◘

Um, (audience aw’s and laughs) You know what, I actually, um, I don’t know if this is my favorite episode so far, but I really, really, really enjoyed episode 2 of this year, “The Kids Are Alright,” with the (gestures to his face) suck holes (jensen nods audience cheers and claps) and the whole (?suckie extentions?). And I watched it and I also, um, because there’s certain episodes that are Sam heavy and certain episodes that are Dean heavy. And, since that one was Dean heavy, I got to watch it almost as a complete audience member. Like, I didn’t remem- I wasn’t there for a lot of the shooting. I didn’t see a lot of it. I didn’t really know the.. story as well as I.. maybe should have. (laughs) (audience laughs) And so, I got to watch it as an audience member. And I- I was- (shrugs) I was scared, I was laughing, I was really happy with, uh, his performance. For the first time in 50 episodes really. (audience laughs) That’s a whole other situation.

But I-I really, really- (Jensen gives a short nod) And I told Phil, who's directing the episode right now and who directed that episode, (Jensen smirks and then drinks his water) that I really enjoyed that episode. I’ve liked all of his, you know. He did “Nightshifter,” and he did “Hollywood Babylon,” and.. “Provenance.” (nods) He’s done some good ones. So, that’s my most recent (?favorite? or ?pick?). (turns to Jensen)

Jensen: Umm, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch, (clicks tongue) I don’t know, I kind of like, the, uh, I know it’s a two parter, but, uh, in the last season, uh-um, (Jared: (?Two and one? or ?twenty-one?)?) “All Hell Breaks Loose, part 1 and part 2” (Jared: [nods] Oh yeah.) (Audience yeah’s) Just the, uh, (shakes head) I just like the, you know, the- (points at a fan in the audience) He’s going nuts- She is going nuts with this (?camcorder? or ?thing?) (audience laughs. Jared smiles) It's-

Jared: Is it still working?

Jensen: It’s just (mimics winding) winding (Jared: It's a flip box.) and winding and winding (Jared: It's a flip box.) (audience laughs) and winding.

Jared: It’s going to be the best flip book of all time.

Jensen: Ever. (audience laughs)

Jared: (to fan) Make sure you stay this way (gestures to face) you don’t want to get- (gestures to Jensen) (audience laughs) (smiles) That’s good.

Jensen: (sits up and gestures back and forth to his shirt and Jared) Well, this way you get two of him (audience laughs)

Audience memberA: Three!

Audience memberB: Three!

Jared: (?That's right it does.?) (helps Jensen straighten out the picture on his shirt) Three more. (?That tells you something?)

Jensen: (looks at his shirt) Come on, this is fantastic. (points at one of the Jareds on his shirt) You guys ready to see this one? Here we go. (mimics Jared’s brooding concerned face)

Jared throws his head and kicks back to laugh. The audience screams and laughs. Then Jared makes a squinty blue steel face.

Jensen: (holds up a finger) I might be able to do this one. (points at the other Jared on his shirt) Let me.

Jensen takes a minute and then looks up. The audience laughs. Jared laughs and looks up at the banners (I guess for a Jensen face to mimic) and then lays back down laughing to himself. Jensen is already making another face.

Jared: He's good. He's good. (Jensen looks towards Jared laughing. Jared laughs back) I need a Jensen shirt. Anybody got one I can borrow? I’ll get me one.

Jensen: There’s one back stage. I autographed it for you. (smoothly drinks his water) (Audience laughs. Jared smirks and then pumps his fist. Audience woo’s.)

Jared: Ebay! (to Jensen) straight to Ebay. (laughs to himself) I could let Harley wear it. (Jensen: Um,) or Sadie.

Jensen: (to fan) I think we answered your question.

Jared: (turns immediately back to the fan) I thinks so, right?

Jensen: (shakes his head and laughs looking down) I’m just kidding. (audience laughs)

Fan: I’m sorry. Um-

Jensen: No, no, no. You had a request.

•(8:11 DT, 7:40 CP, 2:30 SA)- Chicon07J2;Q1D- Texan Accent

Fan: Yes, Samantha Herr, uh, Ferris during her Q&A said that at the end of the week when you guys are really tired your accent slips. (audience yells things) (?near anything?) you can just hear it.

◘Jared and Jensen Interview by DegaDreamer◘

Jensen: (to audience) It did during what?

Jared: (to audience) Did it? (audience yells out words with a drawl)

Jensen: Yeah, well, you know, (slow draw) the characters are from Kansas.

◘Jensen & Jared, TX accen, more, Chicago Con Nov 07 by Clarity159◘

Jared: (to Jensen) Yeah (nods) (to audience) (slow draw) It can hop out, They’re from Kansas.

◘Jared & Jensen in Chicago: The Texan Accent, Y’all by BabyBlueSteel◘

Jensen: It’s allowed.

Jared: (to fan) You know what it is? It-it- yeah, it-it’ll pop out when we go to visit family (Jensen: Yep) (slow draw) or when it’s tired ‘cause then you're just too tired to say anything. (audience cheers and laughs) It’s just lazy. It’s just lazy, lazy talk. And usually (slums down and sprawls in chair) our body language is like this (slow draw) “Are you sure you want me to go and do.. something? I got film, man.” (audience laughs) (chuckles)

Jensen: (slow draw) (slumps in his chair and rubs his eyes with the back on his hand) “Hey man, they got- they're- they're flippin’ the lens on this scene. ’m gonna go back to my trailer.” (audience laughs)

Jared: (clears throat) (slow draw) “How long'll it take, you reckon?”

Jensen: “Shoot, I don’t know.” (audience laughs)

Jared: “What? Five, Ten?”

Jensen: “Somethin’”

Jared: Will it be done... “Maybe it’ll be done in a (losing accent) New York Minnute?” (Grimaces then hides behind his mic) (Jensen shakes his head. Audience laughs)

Jensen: (to fan) Thank you.

Fan: Thank you, so much, guys. Thank you, guys. Have a wonderful weekend. (Jensen turns to his left)

Jared: (to fan) Thank you too. Thank you so much. (claps leg) (audience claps and cheers) (does a back and forth for a little bit then settles on look to his left)

Jensen: (to fan) Hi.

◘Chicago Con 2007- J&J’s panel (part 2) by Carol Padalecki◘

•(9:34 DT, 3:54 SA, 1:05 C, 0:02 CP)- Chicon07J2;Q2A- Blue Steel Request

Fan: Hi. Um, I don’t actually want it to sound like a shtick, but my name is Sarah and it’s actually my birthday today. So, thank you guys (Jared: Is it?) so much. This has been (Audience member: Sing!) tremendous to see you guys.

Audience member: Let’s sing Happy Birthday!

Jared: Happy birthday.

Audience member: Let’s sing it!

Jared: And it’s not my birthday today. But I’m Sam- Jared! (grimaces) (audience screams and laughs) Now I’m Sam. (leans forward with a squinty face) (audience laughs) (looks down laughing to himself)

Jensen: (shakes head) I mean- I don’t even need to go there. (audience laughs) (starts twisting his empty water bottle)

Fan: I actually, um, kind of got up when it was Jared, so no offense Jensen. I have a request and a question-

Jensen twists the bottle and then squeezes the top half. The bottle’s lid pops off high in the air. Everybody watches it go up and then down. The audience squeals and laughs.

Jared: There are probably 4,000 poor bottles in Vancouver that.. have that done to them. (audience laughs) (nods) On behalf of the two biggest Texans in Vancouver right now.

Jensen: I’m-I’m sorry.

Fan: No, that’s okay. Um, I did kind of have a request. Um, I-I kind of wanted to see “Blue Steel.”

The audience squeals. Jensen turns to look at Jared. Jared slowly turns away and then uses the chair arms as support to whip his head back towards the fan making a puckered “Blue Steel” face. Jensen covers his face with his hand. Jared turns his “Blue Steel” towards the audience, shaking his head to get his bangs out of his face. The audience screams. Jensen then does little peeks to see if it’s okay to look at Jared again.

◘Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki at Chicago Con… by DegaDreamer◘ ◘Jared & Jensen in Chicago: Blue Steel & Baby Blue Steel by BabyBlueSteel◘

Jared: (stops) Wait, did you want to see that or did you want me to impersonate-

Jensen: I had to avert my eyes. (Jared and audience laugh)

Jared: You can go blind. (nods) You can go blind. So. Once you do it once it’s gone.

Jensen: I can’t- (shakes head) I can't- I almost fell off my chair-

Jared: You- (Texan draw) Go on get some (stares at Jensen) (Jensen turns to look at Jared) That wasn’t a singular request. (to audience nodding) Right? We got to see Jensen’s. (audience claps and cheers) (?We're calling him? or ?We'll call him?) “Baby Blue Steel.” (J2 and audience laugh)

Jensen: I didn’t even get a good look at yours. Could you- you just one more time? Just a little- a little taste?

Jared: Oh, it’s done. It’s done. I already did it. (audience yelling at them to do it together)

Jensen: (shrugs to fan and shakes his head) That’s enough. I- I mean, really? (Jared laughs) You can’t follow that.

Jared: (to fan) You can’t- (nods) To his credit, you can’t follow that.

Jensen: (to fan) No. (audience laughs and some yell at them to do it at the same time) I can’t do it. I can’t. (notices the cameras) Look at all the cameras (?rising up?).

◘Jared and Jensen q&a’s by augustfading◘

Jared: I know! (audience laughs)

Jensen: (mimics audience) “Do it at the same time!” (sits up and mimics raising up a camera) “I dare you!” (audience and Jared laughs) (sits back) I ain’t fallin’ for that one.

Jared: (to Jensen) We’re going to have four thousand angles of Blue Steel (laughs)

Jensen: Yes (audience laughs) It’s like a CGI, just like the full rotation.

Jared: Just like the Matrix.

•(11:42 DT, 6:02 SA, 3:13 C, 2:10 CP, 1:11 DD, 0:21 A)- Chicon07J2;Q2B- BUABS; Sam’s s3 motivation

Fan: I did have a question besides the “Blue Steel” request.

Jensen: Okay, yes. Wha-what was your question?

Fan: Um, just cause you hear it a lot from actors and we heard it yesterday from Fred Lehne about how awesome it is to-to play the bad ass, and really Jared, um, you know, Born Under A Bad Sign-

Jared: Well, I’m not playing sweetie.

The audience laughs then cheers. Jensen turns to give him an assessing look. Jared makes a blue steel face to the audience with puckered lips and squinty eyes. Finally Jared turns to Jensen and notices his look. Jared laughs. Jensen shakes his head, pumps his eyebrows, and then turns to the fan and laughs.

Jared: Haa, I’m here all week. Try the veal. (laughs)

Fan: And then this season too you said you’re trying to bring out the Dean in Sam. (Jared: Right) Is it also to- trying to get that question in of whether or not he came back right?

Jared: Kind of. And I- a- (raises hand) And the god-honest truth is I don’t know. Eric keeps it very, very close to the belt. (Jensen nods) And I think it’s- I’ve said it before. I think it’s by design. I think he- I think he wants Jared and Jensen to be going through the same things that Sam and Dean are going through. Like we- (gestures to Jensen) Sam and Dean don’t know what’s going on after this episode. They don’t know where they’re going next. (Jensen nods) Jared and Jensen don’t know. (slow draw) We think there’s a strike or something, but (audience laughs. Jensen nods and smiles) I don’t know. (Jensen briefly looks up)

But, um, it was an effort and also there have been some, uh- Sam has actually said a few times this season that he kind of needs to become more like Dean. (Jensen nods) That he’s got to become more like Dean. So, I-I’m sort of trying to make a choice, um, and we’ll see.. what becomes of it to.. sort of.. bring out the.. hard ass a bit more. (nods) You know?

And we see him- we see him in, uh- We see him in “Sin City” sort of shoot first ask questions later. Which you’ve never really seen before out of Sam. Um, so, it’s sort of fun. It’s fun to start playing that.

Fan: And it’s very good. (?You’re doing well playing that.?)

Jared: Thank you. Thank you so much.

Fan: Thank you very much.

Jared: Of course. (audience claps) (turns to his right)

•(13:23 DT, 7:43 SA, 4:53 C, 3:50 CP)- Chicon07J2;Q3A- Jared's car

Jared: Hi!

Fan: Um, Jensen I have to say that, uh, “A Few Good Men,” this summer (Jared nods and then claps) was absolutely amazing. (Jensen: Thank you.) (audience clap) I loved every bit of it. (Jared: Yeah, absolutely.) (Jensen: Thank you.) (audience clap) Jared, uh- Well, my friend has a question, which you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.

Jared: (laughs) okay! (audience laughs) I’m nervous already. (audience laughs)

Fan: She wants to know what kind of car you drive?

Jared: Oh, I have a- I have a SUV ‘cause I’ve got my two big dogs. So, I’ve a- I have a black SUV that.. carries safely me and my two dogs and.. a friend or girlfriend to Vancouver and back. (audience chuckles) If, uh, (nods) if need be. (nods)

•(13:53 DT, 8:13 SA, 5:24 C, 4:21 CP)- Chicon07J2;Q3B- Greatest Fear

Fan: And, question from me. Uh, since this show is about- obviously about scaring, uh, what is your greatest fear, to both of you?

Jared: What is my scariest experience?

Fan: Your greatest fear.

Jared: Oh, my greatest fear. Um, one question ago was what that question was going to be. (Jensen face shrugs. Audience laughs. Jensen nods) Probably.. probably waking up and seeing that poster (points to creation’s vinyl wall scroll of Jensen) of Jensen. (audience laughs) (laughs) Would be- would be a bit too much to bear.

Jensen: (to Jared) I could arrange that. (audience and Jared laugh)

Jared: Yeah, you would.

Jensen: (pumps his eyebrows) I already have. (audience laughs. Jared chuckles)

Jared: Um-

Jensen: (to Jared) What is your greatest fear, Jared?

Jared: Uh- uh, that’s a very good question. Um, I-I’d have to say, uh..

Audience member: Being without Jensen.

Jared: Being without... Well-

The audience laughs and then aw’s. Jared nods his head and slumps down in his chair in mock sadness. Jared creeps over to hug Jensen. The audience laughs and aw’s. Jared snaps back to his side before making contact. J2 smile.

Jared: I’d have to say, uh, the obvious you know. Uh, like, losing a loved one or- or, you know, you-you- One of the things that being in Vancouver does- And he and I are both from Texas, and our family is in Texas. And you just, you know, every time you have three missed phone calls from a brother or sister you’re worried it’s about, you know, someone.. that you didn’t get a chance t-to see again. But, (slaps leg and then nods) (audience aw’s) And Jensen’s is being without me. (audience laughs)

Jensen: (nods) Greatest fear. (nods)

Fan: Well, thank you guys.

Jared & Jensen: Thank you. (Jared turns to his left. Jensen follows)

•(15:32 DT, 9:51 SA, 6:00 CP)- Chicon07J2;Q4- Pranks (Frederic Lehne, Jim Beaver)

Fan: Hi, um-

Jensen: Hi.

Fan: I was wondering, yesterday Frederic Lehne said that you two have never pranked him that he can recall. Why is that?

Jared: Oh, that's right.

Jensen: Have never what?

Fan: Pranked him.

◘Jared & Jensen in Chicago: Why they didn’t prank Frederic by BabyBlueSteel◘

Jared: ‘Cause he-

Jensen: ‘Cause he’s the bad guy. (audience laughs)

Jared: Yeah. Fred’s kind of like very-

Jensen: Fred’s got like those yellow (points at eyes) contacts in all the time. And it’s just like (crouches down and doesn’t make eye contact) “Hey, Fred. How you doing?” (mimics shaking his hand) (audience laughs) Um-

Jared: You know what? He, uh- He knows Bob Singer real well, the producer. (Jensen laughs) And, um, Bob Singer is also one of the writers. I guess he can’t write anything. I guess (?now it’s done? or ?now's the time?). (audience laughs) Now that he can’t write.

Jensen: Well Fred’s a-

Jared: Sam wakes up in a puddle of mud.. in December, “Ah!” (audience laughs)

Jensen: Fred’s- Fred’s also, uh- I mean, he’s a- he’s a-a very seasoned polished.. professional (Jared: Right.) actor. (Jared: He’s right.) Um, unlike us.

Jared: So he knows many more pranks than we do. (laughs) (audience laughs)

Jensen: So, he comes onto set, and he's, you know, he’s there- he’s there to get a job done. Or he’s- he kind of brings a-a-an energy (?in him. And he's-? or ?. and I mean?) he's great to work with. I don't wanna, uh, you know. But he’s.. he’s definitely- there's a professionalism that follows him into the room. Uhm-

Jared: And you can see it in his performance that he’s- (?he’s brilliant? or ?he brings?), you know.

Jensen: Yeah, I mean, he’s great, um, where as you know, Jared and I tend to-

Jared: two chicken’s with their head cut off. (audience laughs)

Jensen: (nods) Pretty much. (nods to fan) Pretty much. Um, we have started to, uh, we have started messing with, uh, Jim.

Jared: Yeah. (audience aw’s and oo’s) Yeah. (to audience) We love Jim. (audience yeah’s and claps) We love Jim. (?A lot? or ?Yeah?). He rocks.

Jensen: The Beav.

Jared: The Beav. (Jensen: The Beav.) You gotta love The Beav.

Jensen: Um-

Jared: But, with Jim and with Fred both, I think… though I hate to admit it, it’s, like he said, they’re polished seasoned actors. And they’ve been around pranks a lot longer. I’ve only been professionally working for eight years now, they’ve each been doing it for thirty so years. So, (laughs)

Jensen: Well all I knew- I knew-

Jared: I don’t know what they know that I don’t know. (audience laughs)

Jensen: Jim, uh, we- we had this scene we filmed just recently we, uh- uh, Jim is, uh, I won’t give anything away, was laying in a hospital bed. Um, (Jared remembers and bursts out laughing. Audience laughs) And he dies. (audience laughs and no’s) Um- No. No. No. (waves hand) I’m kidding. I’m kidding. He doesn’t. He doesn’t. He doesn’t.

Um, but, (Jared laughs) but in the scene he’s talking to us and, uh, (Jared throws his head back laughing. Audience laughs) on his coverage Jared is just grabbing his toes. (Jared kicks his feet laughing. Audience laughs) And staring at him and playing.. the- (looks to Jared) w-what is it? (to audience) "This Little Piggy Goes to the Market" with his toes.

And I’m standing right there, looking at him going, “Are you serious?” (audience laughs) “He’s trying to give a heart felt, like, performance right now.” (Jared throws his head back and laughs) The camera’s are like here (gestures to his right). And Jared’s like going (leaning left with a dorky smile, mimicking playing with Jim’s toes) (audience laughs)

Jared: He has toes of steel that man. He did not budge.

Jensen: And you know what? He didn’t break.

Jared: He didn’t budge.

Jensen: He didn’t break. His face was stone, and he delivered that performance and then as soon as they yelled cut he goes, “What’s wrong with you?” (Jared and the audience laugh) (nods smiling)

Jared: I couldn’t answer, I don’t know.

Jensen: (to Jared) You fell out of the room laughing.

Jared: Yeah, I was laughing too hard.

Jensen: “What’s wrong with you?” (slaps leg) Gotta love The Beav.

Jared: I was quite impressed. That means I have to up my game, right? (Jensen nods. audience laughs) Yeah. (nods)

Fan: Okay, well thank you for coming.

◘Chicago Con 2007 - J&J's panel (part 3) by Carol Padalecki◘

Jared: Thank you.

Jensen: Thank you. (J2 turn to their left)

•(18:34 DT, 12:53 SA, 0:02 CP)- Chicon07J2;Q5A- Influence for Sam and Dean's dynamic

Fan: Hi. I'm (?Amelia?).

Jared: Hi.

Jensen: Hey.

Fan: Um, and obviously family is a big part of the show. And it’s, uh, important theme of the show and that’s, uh, part of what drew me 'cause the relationship between the brothers reminds me of my relationship with my brother a lot of the time.

Jared: Oh, cool.

Fan: So, did you two- did you- I know you have a real brother and sister in real life, so do you draw on that when you, like, especially in the beginning before you (?guys? or ?got to?) know each other as well, did you draw on that to make your relationship as brothers seem more real?

Jared: I mean, we must. (looks at Jensen) Not consciously I don’t think.

Jensen: Well, ush, I was saying earlier, um, I-I-I think in the beginning.. we probably did. But, uh, (Jared nods) now the fact that we, you know, have.. like (to Jared) y-you said it like we-we see more of each other than we do anybody else in the world over the past three years, because (Jared: [nods] Yeah.) of all the time we’ve spent on set.

Um, and then when we’re not on set we’re doing, you know, stuff like this. (gestures to audience) So, (Jared nods) uh, uh-

Jared: Or he is out my- outside my window, knocking.

Jensen: Or I’m knocking on his window. (audience laughs) And, um- So I think just the- just the- the.. kind of the established relationship that- that’s.. you know, happened here has, has given us kind of what we need to.. (waves hand) go into a scene or delve into an emotional scene.

Jared: Right.

•(19:41 DT, 1:09 CP)- Chicon07J2;Q5B- Fanfiction

Fan: And also there’s kind of a ton of fanfiction online. (audience groans) Do you guys ever read it (?)

Jensen: the operative word is “fiction” (audience and Jared laughs, then audience cheers and claps)

◘jaredjensen_cc2 by _sin_attract ◘

Jared: I haven’t seen a lot of it. Uh, I haven’t- I haven’t- I actually can’t recall.. not for any particular reason, but um, I can’t recall seeing anything of that sort. Like, I don’t even know the actual next episode. So, (laughs) I don’t think I have- you know, if I start thinking about fanfiction I’m going to be like, getting prepared to play this scene and go, “Wait a second, I’m not actually doing that (?at all?).” (audience laughs) “Someone else wrote that, not Kripke.”

And, um- but I’ve never had a chance to see it all. I hope it’s good. (audience laugh and one cheers) (thumbs up)

Fan: You guys are great. Thanks for coming.

Jared: Thank you.

Jensen: Thank you. (turns to his left and Jared follows)

•(20:26 DT, 1:54 CP, 0:37 SA)- Chicon07J2;Intermission- Fraud Kevin Lawdermilk

“Kevin Wise aka Keavin Lawdermilk is the fake Special Forces Soldier Master Sergeant, who gave Jensen and Jared Honorary Special Forces coins and a letter of appreciation at the Salute to Supernatural Chicago 2007. […] In April 2008, the Supernatural Charity group Fandom Rocks, obtained permission to get two real Special Forces coins to Jared and Jensen. They were presented to them by Jim Beaver, who was himself a Marine.”

[source]

Creation Staff: Uh, guys we have a (Jared: [looks up] God?) special surprise for yah right now. We’re gonna bring out a Master Sargent Kevin Wise of the, uh, first special forces out of Baghdad. (Jensen starts miming to someone off stage about a small square that you can hold, possibly located in another room) Who has a very wonderful presentation from the US military. (audience claps and cheers)

J2 stand up and move their chairs out of the way. Lawdermilk steps up on stage wearing a fake military uniform with a green beret, holding a mic and a folded piece of paper. He greets J2 shaking their hands. Kevin says something off mic to Jensen and Jensen laughs and then pats his back.

Lawdermilk: (to the audience) Twenty-four hours ago, I was in Baghdad. Now I’m in the- the greatest county on Earth. (audience cheers, J2 claps, the audience starts giving a standing ovation) (nods)

Jensen: I feel like a total idiot standing here with a Sam Winchester t-shirt on. (thumbs to Lawdermilk) (audience laughs)

Lawdermilk: First- first, let me say, um, happy Veterans Day. (audience claps and woo’s) (nods yep) We are the military we are today because of all the former veterans, past and present. (Jensen nods. Audience claps. Jared claps his mic.)

Many have seen yah- I’ve been walking around and you’re probably wondering why I’m walking around- (looks down at his clothes) strange walking around in uniform. And we just got back. We left Baghdad Friday about nine o’ clock. And we’ve been flying. Uh, we got to go back next week. Uhm, So I wanted to come in and say hello to the guys and, ah- While I was over there Supernatural season 1 and 2 is the most popular DVD request for our soldiers in (?Afghanistan?) (audience screams and claps) (J2 nod and shake their heads in surprise)

And thanks to Warner Brothers and your- (gestures to J2) y’all’s production company they’re going to send 3,000 of season 1 and 2 over to (?) (audience cheers and claps).

Well, I’ve been walking around (?over here?)- Over there, there are some troops that haven’t been home and maybe they’ve seen a little season one, maybe a little season- I’ve seen a little season two. So, I’ve been TVOing season 3. (J2 and audience laugh) So, I’ll- I’ve been hearing (points to the audience) the- the stories. I’ve been trying to close my ears (audience and J2 laugh) because I don’t want to know what's going on.

And, uh- But, these two gentlemen here is what makes that show, their cast and their crew that works hard, is what makes that show such a success. (audience cheers and claps)

I’d also like to thank Adam Malin and Gary with, uh, Creation Entertainment. (J2 nod) And, y’all- mostly y’all of- (gestures) I’ve seen y’all taking the pictures and met Chris the photographer. (audience woo) I, uh, I met them about two years ago. I was home. I-I had been shot, and, um, from Iraq. And, I was still walking with a cane. And, they- I was at one of their conventions and they helped me out. And, I’m proud to say that they’ve been friends ever since. So, (nods) thank you (?). (audience and J2 clap)

(to J2) Gentlemen, I have a letter from my boss, um, General Patraeus. (audience mummers) His- his boss is the president, so. (audience laughs) They’re both- they’re both the same, so I’m just going to read you just the one. But, they’re both the same with your names on them and, um.

“To Mister Jared.. Padalecki? (Jared nods and says "That's Impressive," Jensen nods and smiles, audience laughs) and Mister Jensen Ackles, Everyday in Iraq and Afghanistan, our military service members are constantly in harms way. At any moment they can be severely injured or even killed. They are under- constantly under pressure- pressure and stress. For that short time when they can sit and relax and watch your television show, “Supernatural” gives each of them the opportunity to forget about the constant stress and pressure they deal with on a daily basis. Our favorite television shows remind us of family, friends, and home. I would like to thank the entire cast and crew that makes “Supernatural” one of the most popular shows with our military service members. On behalf of every military service member who’s deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan and worldwide, I would like to express my gratitude for your continued support of all of our military service members. Best of luck to your future endeavors, David H Petraeus, General United States Command”

The audience claps and cheers. Lawdermilk shakes J2’s hands and hands them each their letter that’s held in a hole punched clear plastic sleeve and says something to Jensen off mic. Jensen nods his head. Lawdermilk makes another comment off mic and then backs away while pointing at J2. Jared tries to say something in the mic but it’s drowned out. Lawdermilk holds up two black boxes in his hands in response. The audience cheers and some of them give a standing ovation.

Lawdermilk: In- I’ve been a soldier for 27 years. I’ve been a Special Forces for 17. Back in 1960, we started a little tradition. It’s called a Special Forces Coins that only goes out- there’s only two ways to obtain one of our coins. You become a Green Beret or a Green Beret gives you one.

We very seldom give out coins. They- It has- (Jensen shakes his head and audience aw’s) (laughs) It has to be highly- highly deserved, and very seldom to civilians. So, (nods) I wanted to present mis- uh- I’ll just call him Jared if you don’t, (?Jeremy?) (laughs) (audience laughs, Jared bends over laughing, and Jensen smiles)

Jared: Call me whatever you like.

Lawdermilk: And Jensen with, uh.. with our, um.. Each coin is unique. Each coin we have five active special forces groups. Each coin is unique to each group that it- how’s it identifies us. So, we carry ‘em all- all the time with us. We never- We’re never without ‘em.

So, on behalf of the first Special Forces group (Jensen puts his mic and letter in his seat. Jared follows suit.), my team, which is ODA-045. It’s alpha team. Um, i-I’m from Texas, from Odessa. (audience cheers and claps)

◘Jared & Jensen in Chicago: Honored by a Special Forces Unit by BabyBlueSteel ◘

Jared: (off mic) (nods) alright. (Jensen nods)

Lawdermilk: The team is called- the team is called “Team Texas.”

Jensen tilts his head and then looks at Jared. Jared fist pumps. The audience laughs then cheers. Jensen nods to himself.

Lawdermilk: They are the- They are the hardest- They- they’re the hardest eleven- of course, I make twelve. (audience laughs) They’re the hardest eleven working men out there in uniform today. So, on behalf of my team, in the first Special Forces group in the United States Army, (Jensen shakes his head (opens one box) I’d like to present to you a Special Forces Coin. (reaches over with the open box)

And, this one, you’re name is on it. Here (?) (hands the box to Jared) (the audience wow’s, aw’s, and then claps as Jared receives the box) And yours (leans over to Jensen with the other box) is a different color (?) That’s our special design, and yeah, everything’s on it. (?)

Jared: (off mic) Wow.

J2 shake Lawdermilk’s hand and thank him for the coins. The audience claps and cheers. Lawdermilk goes to say something more but Jared beats him to it.

◘Chicago Con 2007 - J&J's panel (part 4) by Carol Padalecki◘

Jared: (to the audience) Let’s thank him and his men and everybody like him in uniform that’s been sharing the freedom that we’ve had in the states. (puts down his mic and claps) (Jensen and the audience claps and cheers)

Lawdermilk: I know most of you came to.. see these two young men speak instead of some old soldier, but- (audiences nah’s) Uh, I’d like to remind th- we come home and, you know, we have y’alls support, which we all really appreciate.

Audience member: We love you!

Lawdermilk: Thank you. And we come home and, you know, I’ve heard the word hero and heard this, what I like to remind you is, is almost close, we lost six soldiers just the other day in Afghanistan. Um, just over almost four thousand that have been killed in Afghanistan, Iraq, those are the heroes. (audience agrees and claps) (nods) (J2 clap)

If you just give me just a second, I’d like to invite Mister Adam Malin and Chris photographer here up on stage.

The audience claps. Lawdermilk says something to Jensen off mic and they hold a brief conversation.

Lawdermilk: Like I said, I’m very proud for the last couple of years for these two gentlemen to be called friends. So, we also have a Special Forces coins for both Chris (audience aw's) and Adam Malin the- (shakes his head) (J2 and the audience clap) (thankful nod)

Creation Entertainment is definitely the best at what they do, you know. And of all you that have taken pictures with Chris, y’all know how good he is. (nods) (audience woo’s and claps) (to J2) I can’t hide my Texas accent, can I?

Jensen: (off mic) Yeah.

Lawdermilk: So, (?let's like..?) (opens a box and holds it out) Actually, you can tell you’re getting old when you have to hold it up.

The audience laughs. Jensen takes the box to look at the coin. Jared goes around Jensen to take a closer look himself.

Jared: (off mic) (?Can I look at that? Is that- anyway?) (reaches for the box in Jensen's hands)

Jensen: (off mic) Yeah, here you go.

Jensen hands the box over to Jared. Audience laughs. Jared in turn hands over the box he had before. Jensen holds the coin closer to read it.

Jensen: (off mic) (?This one's.. Malins?).

Lawdermilk: Okay, that’s wrong- Adam on behalf of the Special Forces Group and Team Texas, I’d like to present you with this Special Forces Coin.

Adam: (off screen) Thank you so much. (audience claps. And Lawdermilk salutes Adam)

Lawdermilk: (off screen) And Chris, on behalf of the First Special Forces Group and ODA-045 and Team Texas, I present you with yours.

The audience and J2 clap. J2 hold a brief off mic conversation to each other.

Lawdermilk: (to the audience) Thank you very much for your s- for your time and like I said we appreciate your support. Thank you. (audience claps and cheers)

Jensen: (stops Lawdermilk from leaving) Now we give us, uh, (holds a finger to the audience) Give us one minute, we, uh, Jared and I put together a little something here for you, uh, and your men. (Jensen walks across the stage to grab from a handler a box set of Dvd’s. Jared keeps looking at his coin.) Um, it’s the, uh- Well, first we got the season 2 DVD box set for you. So, you could share that with, uh, you and your men.

◘jaredjensen_cc3 by _sin_attract◘

Lawdermilk: (off mic) (?I gots my own. I got someone a gift?)

Jensen: Well then, there you go. (audience chuckles) (grabs the script from behind him) And, uh- and- and this is- this is kind of cool. I’ve actually never seen, uh, one of these given out. This is, uh, Kim Manners’ directors’ script. (audience gasps and oo’s, then claps) It has all of his director’s notes and shot angles and camera things written down inside here. Uh, he keeps that in his binder and that is his bible for the entire, uh, you know, two weeks that he’s-he’s shooting this episode. Um, we’ve all signed it. You’ve got Serge, the DP, you got myself, Jared, uh, Fred, Jim Beaver is on there. You got the two girls this season are on there. Kim obviously signed it, but, uh… you know, I-it’s- it’s not nearly what you gave us, but, uh, I hope you enjoy it. (hands Lawdermilk the script)

Off mic, Lawdermilk thanks them for the script. The audience aw’s and claps and then cheers. Lawdermilk shakes J2’s hands again, then throws a hand up to the audience, says one more goodbye to the boys, and leaves the stage. J2 clap as he leaves.

Adam: Master Sergeant, Kevin Wise. (audience cheers and claps) Thank you, Sir.

Jensen: (looks briefly at Jared and then to the audience) I kind of really don’t know where to go after that. (audience laughs) (to Jared) How do you follow that?

Jared doesn’t answer right away because he’s looking at his gifts again, then looks up shaking his head at Jensen, and then says something off mic. A phone is ringing in the audience.

Audience member: Answer the phone. (audience laughs)

Jensen: (laughs) (reaches for the item in Jared's hands) Let's see those guys.

Jared: (off mic) Yeah.

Jensen: (takes the card from Jared) Wow. Well that’s kind of neat. That’s not something you get to do every day. (whistles)

Jared: Understatement of the century. Um.

Jensen: (turns to his chair and then the audience) Where were we? (audience laughs) (Jared exhales and J2 sit down) Alright. (to Jared) That was really special.

Jared: That was very special.

Jensen: Yeah, that was pretty cool. Um, (turns to the creation staff) how much time do we uh..

Adam: (off screen) A couple more questions.

Jensen: (nods) Couple more questions. Okay. (Adam: Yeah.) Do a few more questions. (points to his right)

◘Chicago Con 2007 - J&J's panel (part 5) by Carol Padalecki◘

Audience member: That side.

Jensen: (quickly turns to his left) This side. Here we go. Alright. (audience chuckles) (to Jared)

•(32:53 DT, 1:51 SA, 0:05 CP)- Chicon07J2;Q6A- Jensen on "EL Paso" by Marty Robbins

Fan: Everybody loves to stand at the "midget mic" and go after that apparently. (audience laughs) So, um, here’s my fangirl question after that. (claps) Congratulations on your coins though.

Jensen: Yes.

Jared: Thank you.

Jensen: Thank you.

Fan: Um, and Jensen you kind of stomped on my- my question earlier, because you answered it without me asking it. (audience chuckles) (?Suffering?)

Jensen: I’m good like that.

Fan: (?So where do you go with that?) But, uh- So, uh, recently there was a “Variety,” uh, interview with you and, um, you mentioned three songs that were very important to you? (Jensen: Mhm) And you mentioned, “El Paso” by Marty Robbins. (Jensen: Mhm) And being an El Pasoian born and raised and playing in Marty Robbins Park my whole life.

Jensen: Really?

Fan: Yes. Uh, I’m wondering if you would be willing to us why?

Jensen: Um, that is, uh, one of my father’s favorite songs. And he used to play it a lot, uh, when I was growing up. And, it kind of just- it kind of- there was just something about the song that my Dad and I kind of shared a-a liking for it. And till this day it’s- whenever it comes on I’m like, I-I-I can j-just.. picture myself right there with my dad singing it. So. (nods) (audience aw’s)

Fan: Well feel free to come visit because we’ve got a new golf course (?paved for you?). (audience and Jensen laughs) (?You guys- you gotta tell me?)

Jensen: I might take you up on that.

•(33:58 DT, 2:59 SA, 1:10 CP)- Chicon07J2;Q6B-BUABS 2x14; Sam vs Meg's Latin accent

Fan: (?) Well, it’s real nice. Um, and for Jared. In “Born Under a Bad Sign” when you have to.. Latinate. (Jared and audience laugh) (Jared: mhm) Your-your, uh, your Latin accent is a little different than when you Latinate as Sam. It’s a little more fluid.

Jared: Ooh. Oh, you know what?

Fan: Apparently, you had no clue. (audience laugh)

Jared: Uh, I t- uh, w-Which one is more fluid?

Fan: In “Born Under a Bad Sign” when you’re.. when you’re Meg!Sam.

Jared: Good, (fan laughs) that’s what I was hoping for. (audience laughs) It was also partially because that was- it was actually memorized. So, as Sam-

Fan: You don’t memorize for other scenes, you just.. what?

Jensen: Read.

Jared: Well, I- as Sam I didn’t, um, I didn’t have it memorized because he had it in the book, and so he was reading it. But, as the demon, it would have been something the demon needed to memorize knowing that, um, there’s a possibility that he’d be put into a devil’s sign.

•(35:06 DT, 3:50 SA, 2:03 CP)- Chicon07J2;Q6C- Spanish Speaking (Jared)

Fan: Well that kills the- that kills my question. (Jared grimaces. The audience chuckle) Um, I was gonna ask do you speak Spanish at all?

Jared: Um, no. (audience laughs) I mean, I can- I can-

Fan: Can order food?

Jared: I can- Yes. I can find the bathroom. (audience laughs) I can sort of-

Fan: Can you order a beer? That’s what’s important.

Jared: A Cerveza you mean? (turns to the audience) Sí.

Fan: Very good.

Jared: (to fan and nods) Sí.

Fan: Very good. Thank y’all for coming.

Jensen: Thanks. (turns to his right)

Jared: Thank you. Gracias. (audience and Jensen laugh) I mean, (?Latin?) (turns to his right)

•(35:36 DT, 4:19 SA, 2:31 CP)- Chicon07J2;Q7A- Fan gift; crochet wear

Fan: Hi.

Jensen: Hi.

Fan: I’m Christina.

Jared: Hi Christina.

Jensen: Hi Christina.

Fan: I also want to say this is the best birthday present ever.

Jared: Happy Birthday.

Jensen: A lot of birthdays. (nods)

Fan: My birthday is on Thanksgiving though, so I’m a little early.

Jensen: Oh, okay.

Jared: Well, happy Thanksgiving Birthday. (audience chuckles)

Fan: Um, I actually- I have a couple questions, um, I actually sent you guys some hats and scarves that I crocheted and I was just wondering did you got them?

Jared: Those usually take a while to- to get to us.

Fan: I sent them in April. (audience laugh)

Jared: We usually do get- we usually do get things. You send them which?

Fan: in April. (audience laughs)

Jared: Uh, they might-

Fan: Right after Fangoria.

Jared: It goes through- Because, if you remember a few years back there was a big Anthrax scare (Fan: Yeah) at, like, Warner Brothers Lots and stuff. (Jensen nods: Yeah) And so, since then (Fan: It’s exactly.) a lot of- there’s, like, a screening process. And we will get things. (Fan: Okay.) But, a lot of times it’s just it’s just very long.

Fan: If they don’t fit I’m sorry

Jared: No. (audience chuckles) Oh, we’re sorry. And, I’m sure they will, but also they come to us, because they- they’ll go to us, and then they’ll go back to LA for the.. screen, and then they’ll come back to us and get distributed-

Jensen: Well, it’s also- It’s- We also have to deal with Customs. Like, (Fan: Yeah) even if you’re shipping anything (Jared: right) it’s-it’s.. (shrugs) Canada. So, they, you know, they’ve got tons of, um, of, you know, border patrol, uh, screening mail and.. (Fan: Yeah) (nods) Yeah.

•(36:34 DT, 5:17 SA, 3:28 CP)- Chicon07J2;Q7B- Fan Request; JDM’s number

Fan: Okay, uh, (Jared: So, thank you.) my other question, (Jensen: Well, thank you) could I possibly get JDM’s number from you? (audience laughs) (Jensen reaches into his pocket)

Jared: Yeah. Yeah. I, um- (looks around and then turns towards the screen behind them) Can we just write it in marker up here?

Jensen: I’ll get it out. Yeah. (Jared laughs) Just post it on the wall. (audience laughs)

•(36:35 DT, 5:28 SA, 3:40 CP)- Chicon07J2;Q7C- Sam vs. Jack Bauer; Dean vs Jack Bauer

Fan: And my next question is, I’ve asked everybody that I’ve gotten a panel with, um, Jared- Sam- Who would win in a fight? Sam or Jack Bauer? (audience laughs)

Jared: Oh. (scrunches up his face) Sam.

Fan: And the same for Dean and Jack Bauer.

Jared: I’d say Sam.

Jensen: Isn’t Kiefer like.. tiny? (audience laughs. Jared nods yeah.)

Fan: Did you see last (Jared: He’s old.) (audience gives mixed reaction) season when he killed somebody by biting him in the neck?

Jared: Oh, that’s pretty scary. (audience laughs) But, Sam can move things with his mind. (holds up his mic) (audience laughs, cheers, and claps. Jensen shrugs)

◘Jensen & Jared in Chicago: Sam/Dean vs against Jack Bauer by BabyBlueSteel◘

Fan: What about Dean?

Jensen: Um- Ss-

Jared: Sam would save Dean like always. (audience laughs) (grimaces then smirks)

Jensen: Yeah. I wouldn’t have to do anything. (audience chuckles) Um.. (scratches neck) I don’t know. Yeah, I could kick his ass. (Jared laughs. Audience cheers and claps) (shrugs and then smiles)

Fan: Alright, thank you.

Jensen: Thanks.

•Closing - (37:35 DT, 6:17 SA, 4:28 CP, 0:22 BBS)

Jared: (talking to someone off stage to his right) III believe so. I’m-I’m not sure. (looks at Jensen)

Jensen: (looks at Jared then quickly off stage to his left) Yeah? (to audience) Okay, guys. (Jared: Oh.) They’re, uh, they’re pulling the plug on us. So, it looks like it’s autograph time. (Jared: Yeah) Uuuum. (audience claps and cheers) Thank you.

Jared: (waves mic in the air) (off mic) Thank you guys. (J2 stand up)

Jensen: I hope, uhhh- I hope we shed a little more light on our (looks at Jared then back to the audience) miserable lives. (Kansas-Wayward Sons starts playing) (Jared and audience laugh) And, uh, (smiles) we will, uh- We’ll see you at the tables in a little bit. So.. okay.

Jared pumps his fist in the air as both J2 turn to exit stage to their right, ending the panel. The audience clap and cheer their exit.

[tehamelie]

The X-Men sure die a lot

I read about 50 years of X-Men comics and I made some very, very abbreviated commentary JUST about when characters die, but it's still going to be a goddamned chore (12,864 words in fact)

Starting at issuse 99, immediately Jean Grey dies. She's dead-dead but comes back within a few pages from cosmic intervention.

Then all the X-Men die, or rather, the reader finds out in the next issue they didn't, but they get separated and go for like a year thinking the other ones are dead.

Then Jean dies again and stays dead for years.

Scott gets killed in a telepathic duel, which the narration informs us kills the body as well. He falls over and dies, but then he gets better again anyway.

Of course everybody dies in the classic Days of Future Past future timeline, most of them brutally on panel. I'm sad no one cares about Old Kate Pryde getting erased from time when she succeeds in changing her future.

Peter drowns and spends a few pages clinically dead, but no one is very upset about that.

And Regular Kitty gets killed by Magneto, traumatizing both him and Ororo but then the narration informs us she somehow survived.

Then she's killed again about two issues later for a cliffhanger, making Ororo sad again, but in the next issue it turns out she was only knocked out for seconds.

And in between somewhere Emma Frost dies fighting Phoenix, but apparently she got better.

Also in villain deaths, Kevin MacTaggert aka Mutant X, gets murdered to hell by Peter. He later makes a big point of having never taken a life GEE I WONDER IF KEVIN WILL COME BACK.

RIP countless goons who Logan is implied to stab in the back of the neck off panel. The only true mortals in the Marvel universe, I mean, even Ben Parker has come back for special occasions. I especially liked the Hellfire Club goons who knew each other by first name even with faceless masks.

A few of them DO come back with cyborg powers, hilariously, in the next issue after I started writing this list. But just a handful.

Logan is crushed to death with the power of limitless gravity, pointedly, by people with a grudge against him, on a live broadcast to terrorize the rest of the X-Men, while wearing a power inhibitor and anti-claw handcuffs. A few pages later he shows up free and healthy with no explanation. When his killers find out they react not like he came back from the dead but rather go "boo hoo our revenge failed." Even One Piece never got this weird about people being hard to kill.

Peter shows up dead on the front cover, surrounded by mourning X-Men! That hasn't happened since the last time Jean died and she's still dead at this point, so you know it's getting serious. The issue ends with him face down in the dirt in flesh form with a spear through his heart plus acid burns all over his chest, but it takes six pages of the next issue and then he gets sci-fi first aid at the last moment.

Later on Kitty reminisces that she "saw him die" and the grief almost killed her. I'm now starting to suspect people in this world don't know how death works.

Limbo time travel clones of Logan, Peter and Kurt get killed, Kurt's clone by himself, though that's only implied. It's weird how you can be desensitized to violence that's never actually shown to conclusively happen, except for when it already has happened. (Showing corpses is fine but not how to make them.)

In the Brood encounter, all the X-Men die like twice on average but never for longer than a page or so. Vacuum exposure, poison, exploding planets, Brood transformations that turn out to be nightmares, actually transforming, etc. It's an unrelenting parade of death that goes nowhere.

Ororo stabs Callisto in the heart the first time they meet. It's a duel to the death, and very out of character for Ororo, who sees herself as a bit of a god and thinks killing is beneath her, but she does kill this time, very deliberately, and everything happens the way that we're told it has to happen as long as, and only in the case of, Ororo killing Callisto. Except Callisto survives somehow.

A doctor might tell you, death happens when there's no oxygenated blood reaching the brain, or when there's no brain there for the oxygenated blood to reach. Stab wounds directly in the heart will tend to make you black out within ten seconds as the circulation of blood is shut down, and brain damage from lack of oxygen will become catastrophic within two minutes. The healer named Healer would have to get there and get to work extremely fast. . .but Callisto's healing is all done off panel so everything is possible.

We're told in passing Xi'an Coy Manh was killed in a different book - New Mutants #5-7, in fact - but I'm gonna go ahead and guess she got better based on the fact I distinctly remember reading comics about her not being dead.

Phoenix returns and wipes out New York City and a bunch more people to leave the X-Men without allies. But it was just an illusion. Mastermind is the one who's really returned after Phoenix blew him up so hard he became one with the universe and met God. Now a creature of perfect enlightenment, he's spent years of his life preparing to get revenge; not on Phoenix, who's dead, but these people who used to know her will have to do.

Scott and Madeleine Pryor both die in the fight, but they get better. Madeleine does get CPR, but Scott literally walks into the light and has his mom show up to tell him it's not time to make him magically recover.

Mystique starts one issue spending about ten pages murdering X-Men one by one. At this point I don't suppose anyone asks if it's really happening, but rather what kind of fakery is happening. Could it be Arcade, the world's least successful serial killer with the world's most complicated murder method? How does he keep building secret amusement parks full of murder traps? How does he keep getting staff to work in them? How does he have access to any imaginable technology, such as X-Men robots made of flesh, blood and organic steel that perfectly replicate their powers and personalities? These things bother me, and only one of the above questions get an answer: Yes, it was him.

Peter gets turned into a statue T-1000 style. (Though this is a comic published in 1983.) As cliffhangers go it looks convincing, but I'm wise to this comic.

And the next issue ends with Kitty dead after falling from the top of the Baxter building. Or rather, she fell from the top of a science fiction skyscraper, and then at some point the Morlocks swapped her with an already dead body mutated to look like her in order to kidnap her, and she somehow survived the fall. Everything is fine.

Kulan Gath, a sorcerer from probably ancient Arabia or mythical Greece (where would you find "Stygia" in fictional Marvel Universe Earth?) pulls off a plot that transforms New York and kills about 15 named characters including Spider-Man, but then time gets reversed and everything is fine again in the same issue. Should there be a word for when characters are killed spectacularly on page and then revived off panel in groups with no drama? I guess we can go for "sensationalism" or "exploitation."

Logan stabs Rachel in the heart to stop her killing Selene, and even with the world's strongest telekinetic powers saving Rachel she needs a literal deus ex machina to make her better. All I care about is Leland. Remember above when they killed Logan that time? Leland is a bit character with the power to make things heavier who's shown up two or three times to get bowled over while X-Men fight the Hellfire Club. He dies of a heart attack while fighting off pain, confusion, alcoholism, narratively supported fatphobia and the fear of suddenly having everyone depend on him, but he won't quit even when he can no longer breathe before he's saved the day. If he comes back I'm going to be very sad.

Oh yeah and Kurt was sent to the shadow realm in the same battle. He gets better the next issue (no explanation about what happened when his teleportation was interrupted in a way that made him disappear with an ungodly scream and leave his ragged clothes behind), and while he's lost his powers, they also rapidly get better.

Then we have the Mutant Massacre where the kill count quickly becomes unmanageable. The Marauders kill several hundred Morlocks who exist in a vague character-state - maybe 20 or 30 of them have been named, but most of those have only been center stage for like one or two panels, so when they're cut down in big crowds it's generally unclear who gets wounded and very unclear who dies. Some curious notes, though: Of course Callisto survives despite being singled out in the initial surprise attack and wounded. She doesn't have any powers that make her tougher than normal, just pure main character shields. And Kurt faces Riptide, by far the most frightening person of mass destruction seen in this comic yet - he spins around at (I estimate) several hundred thousand RPM and shoots out infinite small sharp metal objects. He's murders entire crowds of Morlocks at long range, but when he catches the already just-recovered-from-his-unspeakable-fate-worse-than-death whatever Kurt at arm's range and keeps shooting until he falls, Kurt is only wounded. In context, how should we not count these two as cases of dying and immediately getting better?

Then Peter snaps Riptide's neck. Based on my memories of the future I'm positive he's going to get better one day (sigh) but it works as a terrifying character moment for Peter.

We are informed Peter's and Kitty's science fictional injuries are "so bad they should be dead" but maybe we actually shouldn't count that. How do you measure what "energy" Peter's steel body contains vs how much he's losing through "disruptions" of his "bionic matrices?" Magneto's just excited for a chance to heal and makes up technobabble to cover up the fact he has no idea what he's doing in any scientific sense.

Sabretooth ambushes Rogue and beats her to death. Yawn. I mean, this guy is just as good as Logan, just as much built for murder, same superhuman senses, even more experience than he has with fighting and killing, if he declares Rogue dead and leaves her body in the woods so he can go and murder a bunch of defenseless people without bother, surely he knows what he's talking about? Of course not, she's just fine by the end of the issue.

I wasn't even going to bother noting this one issue ending with Dazzler falling over from exhaustion and the Juggernaut assuming she's dead, but the next issue he has buried her in a cairn so we'll have to assume he checked her vital signs and she was in fact dead, only to quickly get better.

Oh, here's Naze, Forge's mentor, who we last saw "super" dead after making himself a sacrifice to the Adversary. We're given no reference, no reminders, no explanation for that. But he keeps smiling wickedly to himself so it's possible this is not another complete bullshit resurrection from the dead.

Maybe I need a separate class of character death called "characters surviving things that should definitely kill them for no apparent reason." Today Betsy, with no kind of super resilience abilities, survives one of Harpoon's energy spears, previously shown to burn people to charcoal, with just a moment's moderate discomfort. Harpoon now reminds me of the cult of the machine in Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency: You know, the guys who love to kill people with an electric speargun incredibly more complicated to use and less reliably fatal than a regular gun (or a sharp stick).

So Ororo kills Forge and then they both get zapped directly into SUPER afterlife, cause when the Adversary needs people "removed from the board" in his game with Roma, "the guardian of the omniverse, supreme caretaker and arbiter of reality" - yes, OMNIVERSE, seriously, a whole multiverse wans't enough - they presumably go someplace utterly outside of there. Only it turns out Forge didn't quite die and gets to work on a teleportation spell to take them back to life. I love this comic.

Now the characters themselves can predict they're going to come back from the dead, including here sacrificing their bodies and souls to power a spell to seal away the Adversary. Does that somewhat undercut the sacrifice, or just the drama of it? (You might have guessed it, they're returned to life as soon as Roma has a chance.) Since the X-Men turned into a ball of light in front of a camera broadcasting to the whole world and then they got better, this storyline might have been the one that permanently established they cannot actually stay dead if killed. Everyone in-universe certainly knows it.

Meanwhile, Jean Grey has casually come back to life for real for the second time, probably in a different book. (In between her actual resurrections, Mr Sinister cloning her as Madelyne Pryor and Rachel Summers inheriting the Phoenix force it's sort of like she's come back four times out of two.) (And, there's no way I'm going to hop between Uncanny X-Men, New Mutants, Excalibur, X-Force and who even knows what else plus the crossovers and miniseries to keep up with everything.)

In a new twist, the entire Brood species has come back from the dead. Well, their home planet exploded and everyone was positive they were extinct, but to be fair I don't remember why we were so sure.

Moral conundrum: Is it acceptable to kill your enemies when they're not human? Okay, the comic wants to make it a conundrum, but then the characters decide the Brood's victims (who turn back to human when they die!) were already killed the moment they were infected, and they unanimously decide the Brood has to be wiped out to save humanity, and never mind that most people want to kill mutants for not being human and the constant struggle of the X-Men to solve any problems because they'll do anything to avoid using their phenomenal powers to kill their enemies is one thing I've come to respect about the comic's often childish themes and messages. But once you've assigned your enemies the "not human" status moral questions go out the window! There could be a message here about how easy it is for even the most well-meaning soul to fall into that caveman in-group/out-group thinking but I really don't think that's intentional.

And by the way the first time around they managed to save Xavier after he turned into a queen. It was an unlikely procedure involving extreme willpower and alien cloning technology, but they proved it can be done. Now they just don't worry about it. No one mentions it. They could try to catch the Brood alive and keep them imprisoned and try to work on a cure, but nah.

Yep, there's Riptide back alive again. The narrative acknowledges he's supposed to be dead. "But so's the X-Men," yeah, remember how they were brought back to life as a special favor by the supreme Lawful Good god of the omniverse? What are you implying about these Marauders thugs here, comic?

I've now reached the Liefeld era and it's honestly hard to remember this isn't meant as a parody of a superhero comic. It's not that people copy Liefeld's style to make fun of superhero tropes all the time, his style really looks like a joke. It's so bad. It takes me out of the comic. Logan gets shot to pieces, turns out of was a practice robot, I don't even care. I think I forgot something. Oh yeah, Rogue got sucked into the Siege Perilous (I thought you had to choose to face ultimate judgment?) and she's presumably dead or reincarnated.

Also Senator Kelly's wife is killed by a sentinel robot from the future trying to kill the X-Men and his response is to initiate the sentinel program to try to kill all mutants. I've long felt the X-Men should have a media department to communicate with the public, like any outlaw organization that has any idea what it's doing would. Like there was a point when some people did a bunch of mass murders "in the X-Men's name" and they had no way to voice their disagreement other than spreading out all over the country to try and guess where the villains would strike next and then beat them up and leave them for the cops. All the public ever sees is their fights. Mass destruction and death in the name of some vague dream of peace. Well, to be fair the first time I saw a story where a terrorist group had the wits to get a journalist to follow them and give them control over the narrative was in 2006, it may be a pretty modern invention.

Now, as promised on the cover, Alex kills Ororo. She gets hit with one of his famously deadly plasma blasts that pretty much obliterates the small aircraft she's in, which then crashes and burns. They have a funeral and make a Dazzler-laser-etched headstone and everything. How is Chris Claremont's beloved going to get out of this one?

The Siege Perilous is why I've always felt a touch of embarrassment at the pompousness of the "noun adjective" naming schema. I wondered at the time why the "Arena Eternal" of Quake 3 felt so awkward. Anyway that's where all the X-Men go now, except Ororo and Logan.

The very next issue Ororo is born again. Yes, apparently reincarnated and about ten years old. Maybe the Siege Perilous gave them a judge six, get one free deal?

Not directly related to the dying and coming back business, but here's another facet of the comic's disdain for the ongoing story it's telling: After so many years of following Xavier's and Moira MacTaggert's mostly-off romance, and after we saw Moira's adult son Kevin "Proteus" MacTaggert get killed because his powers were too chaotic and it turned him evil, we now learn Charles has a "different" young son, David "Legion" Haller, with terrible chaotic powers, who Moira has been taking care of all this time.

Everyone they met would ask the X-Men how they're alive when they died on live TV, but now that they have "actually" died and been reborn the same age but without memories and still invisible to electronics by divine mandate, they've mostly stopped. I take it this is our cue to forget the Adversary thing happened, even though there's like 25 characters we like who still think they are dead since that time.

Oh, Jubilee gets ambushed and shot in the chest with a shotgun at point blank range and the next time she shows up she's not even bothered. Guess it was a rock salt charge huh.

If I tell you there's a character who has to run out on his own help some old army buddies and getting some cops killed while also having traumatic flashbacks to what he calls "The 'Nam" (is that racist or just really weird? Putting "The" in front of a country's name is usually devaluing it in some horrible way), anyway, you'd assume that was Wolverine, right? But it's Forge. So random.

Turns out Ororo never did die, it was just a decoy body. Such a cunning plot: This weird egg called Nanny faked the whole thing in order to get her hands on Ororo and turn her into to a child so that, umm, something about being obsessed with caring for mutant children? It's such a carefully executed long term writing effort that's so damn stupid it could make a clock stop.

After like 150 issues out in space with no cellphones, a random assortment of X-Men are teleported to Charles Xavier over at the Shi'ar homeworld and Logan immediately kills him. The next issue there's two more of him, one turns out to be a Skrull and one who's probably the real one who's left alive.

I maybe should mention everyone who went through the Siege Perilous by now seem to have reincarnated as themselves, various evil brainwashing schemes aside. It seems it should say something if the highest powers there are in an infinite stack of multiverses judge you and find you're just fine the way you were but I guess that's not what this comic is about.

I'm starting to believe it's actually about a sunk cost fallacy on part of the writer as well as the reader.

Jean Grey and Emma Frost increase their lead on the "most dead" scoreboard as they both die again, along with a few more Hellfire grunts whose names I couldn't bother to remember. Jean does something mysterious that I assume writes her brain over somebody else's so she's going to be fine, so it's especially ironic she seems to be the only one who's still dead by the end of the issue when the cops show up and they take a body count.

Not to be funny, but Xavier's school building now also comes back to life after the second time it's been destroyed. It's smaller but stacked to the ceilings with stuff ranging from ancient books and heavy drapes to sci-fi furniture, clearly a place long lived in that was a years old ruin last time we saw it a couple of issues ago. Predictably, we aren't given any explanation.

Naturally, Jean escaped to Emma's empty head. We could count that as Emma's body coming back to life if we want to be petty, but I'm sure she's going to go back to being alive-alive by herself anyway.

Soon enough, Jean is back, Emma is conspicuously unconfirmed dead (except for her body), and it seems probable the Shadow King has also come back to life in astral form and invaded a part of Jean's brain. It's the sort of thing that guy would do.

The Morlocks are back in large numbers living beneath New York, rather than a small number on Muir Isle. It could be they've been recruiting new members, but given the lack of mention about how the famous Mutant Massacre wiped almost all of them out I'm going to take it that no longer has happened. It's really pretty elegant how the comic retells the story of the Marauders killing all those Morlocks and also cutting off Warren's wings in a side story where he went down there on his own to help, while leaving out the mass murder part.

And then they all die along with Peter's brother who's decided their life is suffering and it will never get better.

New Guy Stryfe, masquerading as Cable, tries assassinating Xavier. I've made this rant previously, but if you're a big strong fighting man shooting from cover at an undefended guy who's sitting very still in a wheelchair with full intent to kill, and your massive square energy gun "fails to kill him," you see how you would be better off giving the job to a monkey with a gun? (Thanks to tumblr for showing me that classic scene from Hellboy right now.) Although there is something going on with the bullet shooting a dose of techno-virus that's either supposed to make him more dead or actually not kill him. . .it's getting harder and harder to follow these plots as they keep making big "events" spread out over I don't even know how many comics of which I'm only reading one. There's X-Men Unlimited and "just X-Men" now on top of all the previously mentioned titles. I only find out about them after things happen in them and they then get referenced in footnotes in this comic.

Emma Frost has gone from being dead and cryonically preserved in X-Men's care to being in a coma somewhere else and I have no clue if she got her mind back from wherever it went to in some other comic or if they just dropped that plot. I probably have to stop counting any resurrections that aren't directly referenced or depicted which may make the rest of this list much shorter.

I have been confused about if Magneto is murdered at the hands of one Cortez who thought he should martyr him and tell everybody he, Mags, named him, Cortez to take over his cult; or if he's believed to have been killed in the destruction of his special asteroid even though we've known for a long time he's obviously alive. Having a character be dead twice at the same time seems like a lot even for X-Men. It turns out Cortez THINKS he killed him and was so sure he thought he should go ahead and do all this stuff even though all he did was abandon one of the most powerful mutants in the world - with power enough to travel into space and turn an asteroid into a space station for himself - on this station which then fell down on Earth. This is not even a character death, this is just the ultra baddie Cortez pulling such an inconceivably stupid murder plot he had me fooled for a long time.

An issue ends with a guy trying to kill Forge generating a neutron detonation powerful enough to blow off the whole top of Forge's outrageously large skyscraper, with Forge and Mystique lying wounded and helpless about an arm's length away from its epicenter. Normal fakeout stuff where next month we'll learn what clever trick they used to survive, right? Well here's how they survive: A small dome that "appears to be made of glass" covers the both of them "the instant before his attack." And it's "somehow intact" before Forge blasts out of there with a gun he's had time to build out of his prosthetic hand.

That's it. That's the whole explanation, I shit you not. Maybe we're meant to assume this dome was deployed by the house's intelligent defense system. Deployed automatically at just the right time and place with a couple of seconds of warning. Made of some previously unheard of glass-like yet indestructible (except with the right raygun) material we assume Forge has access to. Maybe they'll make body armor out of the stuff next haha hell no I'd bet 100 dollars we never hear of it again.

Poor little Illyana dies of the Legacy virus and it's very sad in spite of the absolutely bizarre art with every character's face stretching like The Mask. At this funeral nobody mentions how unlikely it is she's going to stay dead which makes it seem sort of fake, like the writers think they can suspend the rule when they want to heighten the drama.

Okay, now Magneto officially reappears and really I'm quite confused why the X-Men are actally surprised. He mentions cheating death on the asteroid (thanks to an underling's sacrifice, come on Cortez, how many holes did you leave in that "Magneto sacrificed himself for me and said I'm in charge now" story?), but he also talks about literally dying and being reborn at some other point so chalk up one reincarnation.

Candy Southern, of all people, is resurrected in the form of a hyper-advanced android by some nebulous baddies along with Hodge, the man who killed her and who was then killed by Warren. Then Candy kills herself in order to kill Hodge and save Warren. This might be more meaningful if Warren hadn't always been my least favorite X-Man and the way I remember his and Candy's relationship it was super dull and her most defining character trait was being fiercely committed to the rich pretty boy. Way to set up yet another faction of mutant hating robots with fantastically advanced technology, though.

It seems Xavier killed Magneto in between some of these issues, soon after hijacking his powers and launching him into space in a move he knew would only buy some time, lamenting that he didn't have the "courage" to just kill him. Weird.

Another weird contrast occurs when Ororo seems to realize there is an ethical question when she decides to exterminate the "novel form of life" Phalanx (a collective of mutant hating randos who's turned themselves into a rampaging rapidly mutating techno-organic murderbot, and no, not connected to the Candy affair just above), but even at the same time she realizes she doesn't have to worry about it because, obviously, they'll come back from the dead.

And back from the dead in the same issue, Emma Frost who's taken over Bobby Drake's body. (I predict, somehow, his mind did NOT have to get displaced into a fourth party's body to make room for hers in that game of musical brains the telepaths have been playing.) And also some proof of life from Douglas Ramsey who I think has stayed dead for longer than anyone else in the comic. And Steven Lang, though I'm not sure he ever counted for dead after having his mind-imprint powering all those Sentinels and whatnot. Busy issue, anyway.

Oh, okay, Magneto is somehow still alive without a mind in his body and somehow successfully leading a cult on his massive spaceship. A cult that's divided on the question of killing nonbelievers on the spot or killing them after a trial, and also divided on having real trials with defense or not, and also divided on if they should blindly follow what they perceive as Magneto's dictates or think for themselves, and divided on if they should kill all non-mutants or not, and seemingly even divided on if they should allow discussion about that or not, and furthermore divided on if the acting leader Exodus legitimately can hear Magneto's voice when he's completely alone with the braindead corpse or not, and don't forget the question if the fresh Xavier convert Peter is for real or a double agent. Also they have all these debates during a trial. Tip to writers: Making your villains cultists doesn't make the more evil if you can't write a cult at all, it just makes them seem incompetent, and incompetent villains are never cool.

Anyway, as the issue opens with the reveal of Magneto being bodily alive contrary to what we were explicitly led to believe, it ends with the reveal he's somehow recovering from Xavier mind-murdering him, "destroying everything the man was" as I think they put it. Kind of two resurrections in one.

Look at that, Phalanx is back again already. For no apparent reason.

And Bobby has got his body back. We're given the explanation Xavier telepathically coaxed Emma's mind back into her body, and we're left to wonder why there's not even a hint of relief or surprise that Bobby survived. Apparently he was in there watching her do all kinds of cool things with his body! Which totally changes the rules for telepath mind swapping. I'm gonna call it a resurrection anyway out of spite for the retcon.

I should note that "All of Xavier's collected data from his life's work" stored in the mansion's computers has come back to life from the last time it was wiped out. As we find out when it gets destroyed again.

Here's Jean Grey's dad having a heartfelt talk with her about the grief of losing a child. . .because Jean's sister died. Ironic! No but really these people ought to have lost the ability to grieve completely - to fully experience and process grief - years ago. If Mr and Mrs Grey actually for real lost their children they'd be stuck in denial for the rest of their lives. Or actually, once they come back you'd probably also be stuck in denial, feeling like death is not real.

It turns out Peter's brother Mikhail, while he was drowning himself and the Morlocks, he teleported "a few survivors" to another dimension where they prospered and bread in accelerated time, so now they're back again for the second time. It was a weird mass suicide/emergency rescue thing, but they were driven from their home on Earth; they were trapped but they found means (for two opposing factions) to return. The retcons are coming from the SAME PAGE. Next it turns out the capital M Massacre did once again definitely happen so that's good. (Relatively?)

Anyway, Sarah aka Marrow gets killed by Ororo. Definitely dead, with her heart ripped out of her body. They go through the cleanup and the old "you did what you had to," there's obviously no way she's coming back from this. (I happen to already know she does.) If Jean Grey and family is at risk of starting to think death isn't real, Ororo is going to start thinking "killing" isn't real at this rate.

I can't remember how many times Magneto has been dead or how dead we were supposed to think he was, but now he's here again with partial memory loss and also he's young again, which has only happened once before. I guess we call that a major reincarnation. You'd think the Siege Perilous has come back from being shattered huh.

So Sabretooth guts Betsy. We've gone over this before: This is one of the best killers in the world, and he's turned bigger, more ferocious and even more delighted with murder than before. He literally lusts for blood. He's been chained up in Mansion Xavier for months so he's got a lot of murder to catch up with. He has a score to settle with and a point to prove to Betsy. He has plenty of time to dismember one skinny ninja who's completely at his mercy. But we already know by the end of the issue he left without finishing the job. I'm now completely bored by the comic. Trying to make the reader feel like there's anything at stake because the characters are cuddling each other's bloody corpses and crying only makes me feel cheated. Don't think there's many years of "Uncanny" left to read, thankfully.

But I guess it must be really bad since the next issue it turns out not even X-Men's spacefuture hospital technology can save her (just keep her "hanging by a thread") but they need to go on a mission and fight ninjas to find a way to save her because Betsy is a ninja. At least that's Logan's theory. Okay, the Hand ninjas are literally turned into nonhumans in their training (as we know because they turn to dust when they die), Betsy has just never shown any sign of having gone to that stage in her training before Logan says yuh-uh she totally did. At last she's saved because she gets a piece of her soul inserted directly in the "lifeblood of the planet" which is a secret apparently only demons from Japanese folklore knows about, though it sounds like it would work to save anyone from anything, which sounds like it would be useful even with some dark magic side effects. (And now I expect it'll never be heard of again.)

Ho hum, Apocalypse lives. I believe it's the third time he's come back from the dead since his introduction, really not very impressive compared to some of the heroes here considering it's his actual mutant power. Probably doesn't even count. But it's the first time he comes back on page. Been alive like 5000 years, built like a Soviet tank, flies, reads minds, access to unimaginable technologies, and all he's ever accomplished is killing people in the name of his proto-Darwinist garbage philosophies; isn't that fucking magical.

Ah, now we find out the future Bishop comes from, where the X-Men had been betrayed and murdered, turns out to have been a fakeout all along. It took, wow, almost six years from when we first saw the ancient video recording of Jean declaring "You may have killed the X-Men, but the dream will never -") before getting blown up, but now that it finally happens it turns out nobody died and it's unclear why Jean thought they did. This would have been the biggest betrayal of the "reader," teasing us with that hanging unresolved for THIS LONG, although I'm sure no one bought it to begin with.

Chalk one impossible survival up for Deathbird, long time Shi'ar imperiatrix-contender. The Phalanx, who it turns out are just the Borg by another name rather than a new form of life created by angry computer scientists, murder every single person out of 4000 on a large space station but leave her alone and wounded for an extended period of time until the X-Men show up. One might be tempted to ask why she got this special treatment, but obviously there is no answer beyond "someone needs to provide exposition for the main characters and help them get around."

Now it seems Hank McCoy single-handedly kills the entire Phalanx collective by taking their "technologies stolen from a hundred thousand conquered worlds" and "biologies stolen from two hundred thousand" and violently separating the two. How, you ask? Oh, he spent some time intensely focusing on a sci fi computer of some kind, don't worry about it. I'd worry more about how this conceptual divide between biology and technology works. Consider there's these things in volcanic ocean vents that biologists aren't sure if they're alive or not; consider feminism as a technology built for solving oppression; and then consider what unimaginable forms life and artifice might take across a vastness of worlds brimming with as much activity as the Marvel universe. It would be funny if they come back because Hank failed to think of any of this but I doubt it.

Meanwhile, Marrow is back alive with no explanation whatsoever.

Remember Magneto's Antarctica lair? That was flooded with lava around 250 issues ago? Antarctica is so full of secret junk, maybe it's not that weird we've been back here like three times without anyone even mentioning the lair. But it has somehow become emptied of lava rocks and the jailer automaton Nanny has somehow become rebuilt all on its own. Okay it turns out there's some mystery controller sitting somewhere in a chair with the back to the reader cackling at the stupid heroes like frickin Doctor Claw but. . .that's all we learn.

Erik the Red, back from the ded? Actually he's from before my time but I'm pretty sure he's always someone else in disguise, yet the narrative presents him as one specific character who's "come back time and time again." And if we're supposed to think he's behind the lair restoration I'm not following it, he's hidden in an entirely different secret underground Antarctic lair and he'd never have been able to pursue his wicked plan if Nanny's mission to keep any mutants from leaving hadn't failed.

An Erik turns out to be Magneto, now officially reincarnated twice at the same time - we see him together with "Joseph," the amnesiac younger version. I find this less weird than the part where he somehow found out Remy's deep dark secret and also cares enough to chase him to the ends of the Earth to make sure the X-Men find out. (While Mr Sinister was the one who decided to murder all the Morlocks and the Marauders were the ones who did it, Remy played a part by being bullied and manipulated into showing them the way, which everyone immediately thinks makes him the worst human being in history.)

Logan kills Rogue but it turns out to be a dream. How upsetting. It would hardly merit my list, but this is a dream sequence that goes on for five pages of extended gory murder so it's apparently really important to the story.

Sauron has returned. No, not that one, the pteranodon guy. "I don't want to cure cancer, I want to turn people into dinosaurs"? Well I think that's from a Spider-Man comic, right now he just wants to suck people's life essence to make his beak grow bigger. (Such a normal guy.) Supposedly he survived his apparent death in another comic due to his legendary power to cheat death. I didn't know he was supposed to be dead, but the comic says he is so score one resurrection.

In a fairly unexpected twist, he pulls out a gun and shoots Ororo in the heart. In a much more expected twist, after lying insensate on the ground for most of a two issues long battle she stands up and declares it was just a scratch. Note she's wearing a bikini and she's obviously not even hurt. The blood that sprayed all over her is just gone.

There's been a long drought of low-stakes adventures here. Not the kind of low stakes I like where there's no fights or arguments but the characters just get some room to breathe and grow, but tense conflicts with no risk, like crows attacking a small town, a fake Xavier and a team of "New X-Men" so obviously designed and presented to fish for what readers want to see it's embarrassing, and a long, grueling plot about Rogue trying to get an obviously evil scientist to remove her powers. (Which everyone insists is JUST like if she was black and wanted to turn herself white instead of fighting for civil rights, I mean her mother calls her a "race traitor," though I'd rather say it's as if she had a disability that basically makes her carry an incredibly potent Ebola virus that makes it dangerous for anyone to touch her and also makes her psychotic with stolen memories, and Mystique has a lot of gall to call it a betrayal of the struggle for disability rights to want to get this condition cured when she herself suffers from the disability of awesome shapeshifting powers.) Where was I? Oh yes, back in an uncharted region of Antarctica, where we last left the heartbroken Remy LeBeau to die from exposure within maybe fifteen minutes. Here he is again in Korea with no explanation beyond a flashback to two sets of footprints in the snow. A mystery this purposely impenetrable, I'm willing to call one impossible resurrection.

And hey, I'm almost sure this is the first time Toad dies in this timeline. (Killed by Cerebro, the latest in the long line of self-learning self-repairing mutant killing robots. He's definitely, vocally dead.) Feels weird since I've seen him die in two different movies in the last month.

Also, only a few pages later it turns out Cerebro doesn't kill people but just teleports them somewhere. Wow, I totally bought it up until it vaporized Kitty Pryde.

Magneto is back. Joseph regained his memories. No wait, our heroes aren't sure because they have forgot all about their reformed amnesiac arch-nemesis and have no idea what he's up to. No wait, he's being observed by scientists in Israel. Okay, it's good to know I didn't hallucinate the two of them appearing together that time, but the first seven pages of this issue are SO confusing. I just couldn't predict they were going to make Joseph have been a clone of Magneto with fake suppressed memories all along because what the fuck, this is crap writing by Days of our Lives standards. And that's even before Magneto does something to the magnetosphere that upsets "the entire electromotive spectrum." (Look it up.) Somebody called Astra made him in order to get revenge on Magneto for something, she talks about how she made him by extrapolating genetic encoding in an alien transportation buffer which is almost nonsensical enough to be fascinating, I'd be more interested in hearing her rationale for thinking Magneto was alive to get killed at any point in this and why she let Joseph wander the Earth but what do I know, I'm but a reader.

Oh look, it's Magneto's plan to unite the world under the threat of his superior firepower back from the dead. No seriously, it's the exact same idea he had back when he destroyed an entire city and a nuclear submarine, crimes that were so awful he willingly went to the ICC for it. This time he's created a worldwide disruption of all electricity which to me sounds like it's not going to be possible for the heads of every government to communicate their surrender to him even if they wanted, as millions of people die within days. Golly gee I do love a competent villain.

And there's an Indian named Vindaloo with the mutant power to create burning napalm, Jesus Christ why not just make him shoot hot curry out of his hands. I'm just complaining about the writing now but please, my friends, you have to realize it's SOOO BAD.

I missed the climactic Joseph/Magneto fight due to reading the wrong comic, but Joseph is by all appearances super dead. Let's see if that sticks. Also the UN voted to make Magneto president of Genosha. How the UN has that kind of power and why they haven't done anything until now about this country proudly sustaining an internationally competitive economy through an extensive eugenics, baby factory and slave labor camp scheme, I guess they want the reader to figure out for themselves.

Speaking of camps, turns out the Skrulls have a death camp for Skrulls who copy superheroes who have died. I've never heard of Skrulls copying just one person and not being able to change shape, but this is a bewildering concept since they have to know the Earth mutants never stay dead. Do they make a new duplicate every time someone comes back? To keep them on this duplicate Earth planet just in case they'll want to infiltrate some shiz?

Marrow gets the more disabling parts of her mutation cured in a space alien medical accident, with her large painful rapidly growing bone protrusions turning harmonious, framing her face, boobs and crotch with flattering curves, instantly replacing her cynical aggressive personality with a fragile happiness. I wonder what Rogue is going to think of that.

I don't think we've had any confirmation Mikhail himself survived that mass suicide thing that ended up with him saving many of the Morlocks he was trying to kill, but here he is, now describing the flood he created to drown them as though he had nothing to do with him but all he did was save people from this freak accident. Nice to have that clarified, retcons can make things so vague.

Anyway he's gained unlimited reality warping power and wants to bring the dead back to life, but Peter won't let him because he's decided the living creatures he makes are not "really" alive by some arbitrary artistic standard. Their little sister Illyana, it seems, is the only living thing in this universe whose death may never be reversed.

Some guy kills Logan with a sword. Sounds unlikely, right? But there's an autopsy and everything. Also all the X-Men kill each other in a stupid fight over Xavier's ongoing mental breakdown. But it turns out he was just faking this breakdown, the fight was an illusion (or "psychodrama") to chase down a spy on the team, and Logan was a Skrull. Way to keep us guessing.

Apparently Alex Summers died quite a while ago, and Scott is so jaded he actually can't grieve. Because they never found his body everyone is completely convinced he's still alive even though he's assumed dead because no one could have survived that. I did warn you about this. . .

And Joseph is back again already. And Alex too, okay that's probably a Skrull but it's unclear.

For a storyline called The End of the World as we Know It, where Apocalypse gains "power to dwarf that of Phoenix," it's pretty weird how little happens. Scott dies, and we're not even sure about that.

Ah, at a later point they also declare Apocalypse dead. I guess he did blow up pretty spectacularly, but we are talking about a guy who can spend thousands of years in a coffin in order to come back from anything so presumably they'll have done some legwork to be able to say he's definitely dead.

We have pretty definitive confirmation Alex Summers is back from the dead, as their father is presently only sad about Scott's death. While Jean has the very problem I talked about earlier, where she just can't believe in death anymore - they have scoured the literal Earth without finding a trace of him since he blew up along with Apocalypse, but the idea he could actually never come back doesn't enter her mind because "We're X-Men."

Also Xavier rides his flying wheelchair on a spaceship. That cracks me up. Should we do something clever with our magic artificial gravity to help the paraplegic guy get around? Nah just give him a magic antigravity wheelchair.

Robert Kelly finally gets killed after a long and successful political career talking about how mutants killed his wife. (Remember, a Sentinel killed her while trying to kill the X-Men for being mutants.) Apparently Moira MacTaggert died too in there somewhere. Dual funerals! It would be very sad except I know for a fact Moira will come back and also become a mutant.

Speaking of deaths we only get to learn about second hand, apparently Doug Ramsey is back to being dead again. I am officially giving up trying to keep track of how alive he and Warlock and the two of them fused together are at any point.

Also Rachel Summers died at some point. We learn Kitty Pryde has a whole depressing wall of dead friends and she's gone missing, Leaving behind a five pointed star of David necklace. (Pretty sure that's some kind of blasphemy, artist guy.) Wouldn't it be ironic if she was dead and nobody knew?

In keeping with the extremely sensitive themes of this comic written in 2014, the blind Irene "Destiny" Adler (also apparently dead for good) turns out to have kept a prophetic cartoon journal. Is it more or less weird that it's badly drawn? I mean it doesn't look like it was drawn by a blind person, the colors stay inside the lines and everything, it's just got a fairly primitive style - except when artist Salvador Larroca apparently forgets and just draws in his regular style to create an effect where the panels of this comic book looks like panels from a comic book, but with different coloring style. You could not make this stuff up.

Here's an entire issue of Scott going camping with his space dad, bonding, fighting, talking things out, having an extremely awkward moment when Christopher thinks Scott has heat vision. Scott is having a tough time since Peter sacrificed himself to cure the disease what killed Illyana you see. Not a fucking word about why Scott is back alive.

You know how Magneto's costume is red to honor the blood of the Jews murdered in the Holocaust? Well now he's changed it to completely black. While he SPECIFICALLY denies having turned into Hitler because when he wants the "inferior" humans to die it's just like nature intended. Just like the neanderthals were killed off by cro magnon, in fact. (They weren't.) Just a nonstop parade of sensitivity in this current century comic book. I'm still working on a line from Xavier a while back where he compared mutant powers to gender, as in "something you just can't change" and here's Jean making a guy think she's old and fat to frighten him. But there's Northstar, he's gay! That's probably not going to come up in every single conversation he has.

The world's population passed 6 billion in 1998. I mention this because the comic, still in 2014, uses this figure rather than 7.4 billion which would be the population at the time. Maybe this is just a perfect metaphor for how behind the times the writers are.

Anyway here's Alison Blaire, returned from Mojoworld for about five minutes before Magneto turns her into a pile of ash. I wonder if she may stay dead given she was never very popular. Also, fun fact, given that she was created as part of a record deal with a real world musician who then backed out.

We interrupt this World War 3 to bring you the most Scott that Scott ever Scotted. No, seriously, this feels like Gail Simone wrote it to make fun of him. You've got to see it: https://i.imgur.com/hnUK7zz.png

That lovely exchange is the last time they speak before Jean and Logan get dissolved and sent to Hell. Okay it's not an afterlife, but they are physically disintegrated and transported into this rando villain's "mind" and then back out again and reincarnated for unclear reasons, that totally counts as death and resurrection.

I've put up with a lot of dis-continuity in this bullshit comic but I will not abide Warren Worthington III showing up for battle with stubble and a carefully styled strip of chin pubes. He's supposed to be a snob! With money and steel murder wings or without, he always reeks of expensive tastes and style.

In further odd artistic choices, he's a full body shot of a charred corpse with most of the meat seared off its bones but very prominent breasts. See there's this group of outcast mutants with severe physical disabilities living in a secret tunnel system under the city and this heavily armed asshole goes and kills them. In London.

Bobby Drake takes only cold showers. This is the kind of fun detail I want to see with superpowers. Makes you think. He can easily sterilize his skin with cold that no germs can survive so he's not gonna smell, but can he dissolve the skin oil and whatnot without hot water? Does he keep his hair short cause it's perpetually greasy? Is he just a cold, clean, oily man?

Back to Heavily Armed Asshole, in a short and one sided fight he sets Kurt on fire with a flamethrower, stabs Warren with two big knives, shoots Bobby multiple times with semi-automatic handguns and then blows up the fuel tank to his flamethrower in their faces. But none of them even slow down, I mean, they just scream in pain and terror and then they're fine? The asshole, "Mister Clean," is also fine, his flamethrower is fine, and most of the English Morlocks seem to have survived too. In between this guy Jon "Chamber" Starsmore gets cornered by some burly mutant haters and then. . .he's fine. Did a two year old write this? I'm feeling gaslit.

The next issue Mr Clean thoroughly burns Logan and blows him up, once again failing to inflict any noticeable damage before Logan does his thing. Sure it's Logan, you wouldn't expect him to die or anything. I'm just remembering a time when he was new to the comic, when it was often pointed out he would die if someone cut his throat. This is what we call "power creep."

We've reached issue #400, and we learn there's an organized RELIGION based on killing mutants. I guess it's not that different from Magneto getting his followers to worship him but they dress like teleporting priests and they have a pope and everything. How many varieties of "dumbass racist motherfucker who thinks a certain class of people are all the same" can this comic come up with?

And we seem to have a new recruit, Stacy X. She's got beautifully patterned lizard skin and the power to give people feelings by touching them. and boy does she like touching. She's the sole survivor of the Church of Bigots' attack on a mutant brothel, where she was the sexiest of the sex workers. Her costume consists of a sexy black bikini, top optional. To quote Donald Glover, there's a time and place for subtlety and that time was before Scary Movie.

We learn Toad is back alive (wasn't that quick?), and here's how: he's got his tongue wrapped around a lady's head in the most deranged French kiss in the history of France. And not long after that we get a topless Fred "The Blob" Dukes posing on the cover. Brotherhood of Kinky Mutants here.

The timeline of this comic is wild. I've tried to use Kitty Pryde's age as a baseline for how much time has passed, she was 13 "and a half" when she was introduced and last we heard from her she was 16 so it would seem about two years has gone by since the 1980s. But we're constantly given suggestions to the effect it's been many more years than that, like, the older generations of X-Men (and Kitty is second generation) tend to act like they've lived together for decades. Anyway Jubilee is joining up again and she seems to have aged from 15 to about 40.

Mystique pulls of a wicked plan that includes shattering the Eiffel tower and cutting Sean Cassidy's throat. Yet again a staggeringly accomplished assassin working in perfect conditions fail to kill one of our heroes. She even tells us she knows he's not dead! She thinks leaving him alone to bleed to death without watching is going to work. Also the censors have once more opted to make blood the color of shit. Why, I ask you? What did ol' Sean do to deserve dying face down in a massive puddle of his own warm, gushing diarrhea? (Well, okay, he is a cop.)

Did I say the comic was going in some weird horny direction when they put a half naked Blob on the cover? Well now we got a whole naked Stacy in a white void. I wondered why I never heard of her in all my years of vaguely hearing about X-Men comics, but I suppose she's the sort of character who you kind of hide under the mattress. Especially when you cannot write a sex worker with any kind of respect. "If you don't want to be seen as a WHORE, don't act like one," Jesus Logan.

Even Monet has the nerve to give her shit about not being a "real X-Man." You wouldn't know who Monet is from reading this list, because she's definitely not what you'd call an X-Man. In 15-20 years since her introduction I think she has had less page time than Stacy has so far - but of course, the difference is she's not a prostitute. New theory, Stacy will soon leave the comic because the X-Men are a bunch of judgmental assholes.

But perhaps not today, when Monet, Logan, Bobby and Warren all die in a plane crash caused by Juggernaut. Yep, definitely dead, with various spears and tree branches sticking out of them, and Stacy finds CPR ineffective. This couldn't be yet another fake out cliffhanger, could it?

Oh, it turns out Alex Summers was supposed to have been dead all along. One more thing you'd think come up when his brother and their dad talk to each other. But he's somehow alive, just catatonic. Yaay.

Anyway all those people Juggernaut just killed, turns out he actually wanted their help and none of them actually died. They continue to be chest fucked, strangled and aggressively desiccated by angry plants throughout this issue without much trouble. Warren seems to even benefit, once he reverts from a mummified husk he turns pink again. (He's had blue skin for a long time, I guess I never mentioned.) It's pretty weird to see Bobby, the Iceman, struggling with a thick vine poking straight through his heart.

Stacy X, I feel I must explain, can make people instantly throw up with the slightest touch of her finger. Her pheromone power gives her that absolute control over people's emotions. Yet her go-to moves are a) fondling men and make them fall in love with her and b) reading women's emotions and tear them down with her words. I wish I was reading a well written comic about her.

I was wrong about Northstar aka Jean-Paul before, he has gone through a couple of appearances without his sexuality being relevant. But now he's teaching at the school and he has a horrible (?) secret lust for Bobby and I feel like the days of the comic making him being gay his whole personality are only just beginning.

Apparently Magneto has been dead for a while now, along with 16 million mutants in Genosha. You'd think these things would come up more often but I only find out because Xavier updates the now alert Alex on everything that's happened since before 9/11. Do you think the 16 million is a coincidence, since the Nazis killed 17 million noncombatants? I think it is, actually.

And Stacy takes off sooner than I expected, not because everyone keeps calling her names starting with S, not because nobody wants to work with her or sleep with her or talk to her, but just because she likes Warren and Warren and Paige "Husk" Guthrie like each other. Sigh.

So the Church of Bigots manage to sneak onto Xavier Mansion's lawn and leave some 8-12 corpses crucified, including Jubilee. They're very definitely dead according to Jean, who can detect a lack of brain activity and pulse in all of them. But then Warren saves most of them with his healing blood. Why do we even bother.

You know the little skull on Mystique's forehead? I never realized that's a part of her body. It stays there when she with great reluctance shows herself "completely naked" to a guy. Also inked on underwear added by the censors lol. Anyway that's how we find out her and Azazel are Kurt's birth parents. No idea why that was ever held up as some kind of mystery; he has his mom's blue skin and glowing yellow eyes and his dad's arrowhead tail and teleportation power that smells like old eggs.

The inked on underwear routine is very funny to me. Like, here we have Juggernaut an She-Hulk in bed, they've very obviously just had a lot of sex, and then they have an extended fight with Juggernaut (it's manifest your childhood trauma in physical form day today I guess), and they're very obviously drawn naked. With an artist making a genuine effort to cover up all the dangerous part with careful use of shadows, posing, props and enormous flowing rivers of hair on Jennifer's part. And then the censors put underwear on them anyway, and it's super noticeable it's added on after the finished art. Just these flat black skintight covers on boobs and butts in a scene where there's no Earthly reason they would be wearing anything. And this from a publisher that gives Milo Manara regular work. As someone said about the Marvel movies, everybody is sexy but nobody fucks.

Apparently Magneto killed Jean again and Logan killed Magneto again. I'm almost positive this is a different death than the last time Magneto died, so that's two deaths off page with zero on page appearances in between - he's also had time to wreck the X-mansion and large parts of New York and re-paralyze Xavier which hardly fits with being killed in Genosha.

Everyone's super angry at Magneto's corpse, calling it filth that doesn't deserve a human funeral and such. Given the imagery of the razed Statue of Liberty, and given that killing a few hundred people is not particularly new territory for Magneto, and given this comic was published in 2013, I'm going to guess the writer has just now caught up with the events of popular culture in 2001 and this is really about Osama bin Laden.

Logan's claws have now turned the length of his entire arms, but that doesn't bother me as much as the way they spread wide in order to look cool. See, the claws should be parallel to allow him to stab things. If he sticks these knuckle-swords into something hard enough it will separate the bones in his hand. That's been bothering me since watching Deadpool & Wolverine.

Is Rachel Grey a different person than Rachel Summers? I would guess so. Maybe from an alternate, alternate future or something. But being replaced by a time travel clone is just as good as a resurrection. Also the school has been rebuilt already. I don't think I can even count that as one destruction of the school cause we never saw it.

For unexplained reasons there's yet another kind of self-improving murderbot who invents new weapons and repairs itself faster than the X-Men at their strongest can keep up with. But then they defeat it by creating a black hole of so far beyond infinite gravity it sucks the thing into another dimension. This is a four issue storyline titled The End of History. I don't think I can add anything here.

It must have been ten years since we last saw Arcade. And indeed he doesn't return here. He seems to have left his inexplicable ability to casually create pocket reality theme parks with their own laws of physics to Viper, and ironically she succeeds where he always failed, to kill somebody. She shoots Sage in the head.

Okay, it turns out Sage was Logan in disguise and the gun does nothing, the hostage is not the real queen, and this Murderworld is fake. No, I don't know in what way it's fake. But at least Ororo saves London from a nuclear bomb by crushing it in a high pressure system equivalent to the "surface of Jupiter." Which, I'm sure you know doesn't exist, but you don't have to go very deep into the gas giant to encounter pressures that would crush the Earth into exciting new forms of physics. I have no idea what this comic is even trying to say.

Donald Pierce is back alive, who even cares. He makes an introduction like someone actually back from the dead with a bigger better "nannite" [sic] cyborg body but without any explanation for not being dead anymore. Reminds me of a stand-up bit in another comic complaining about poorly written porn. "I don't care how fucking stupid the story is, I don't ask for much, just a sense of place and purpose for the double anal penetration. Just so I know who everybody is."

In this metaphor I'm the one getting pounded in the butt by the writer and the editor of this comic at the same time.

There was an exchange back in the 1980s I think that's stayed with me. Sebastian Shaw tells Robert Kelly something like "Imagine a robot that repairs itself when damaged and learns the tactics of its enemies and builds defenses against them so it can't be defeated the same way twice." Yes and every nine days it could drip off eight copies of itself! Pierce's "nannites" (all the characters are so insistent about that terminology, I don't think they even know the word "nanobots") work on a similar principle: Apparently they are designed to overpower Logan's healing power (since we have just established his healing power treats "nannites" as an infection and kills them) and eat his eyes and brain, and saying those words is enough to make it happen. Except then it doesn't work cause Logan heals through it anyway. This really is more like 1000 year old poetry assembled from fragments of pre-Christian mythology than like science fiction.

See, now Betsy Braddock returns from the dead very explicitly (she was killed with a sword, and I'm proud of myself for not bothering to make a note about it when we only learned of it second hand), and people acknowledge they have no idea how it's possible she's back. All we've got is her vague memory of "being in the dreamtime." A paper thin cover of nonsense over a big gaping hole of nothing, but at least it's A STORY. At least they act like previous events have happened. That's how little I ask for.

We have gone from ancient En Sabah Nur, aka Apocalypse, to Azazel's faction who used to rule the world 15,000 years ago and means to do it again, to a faction of dinosaurs in Antarctica who used to rule the world 65,000,000 years ago and mean to do it again. Pretty funny how we have all these people talking about evolution as a ladder where the higher you go the more expressly nature means for you to rule (which I think would mean fruit flies are the masters of Earth) and at the same time these relics of geological time clinging to their "we were here first" right to rule. There might be an actual "thesis" developing here about the will to power turning people evil. And the heroes are the ones who know with great power there must also come great responsibility. I'd be willing to buy it if the villains were more openly into "abdicating" responsibility, but in fact it's largely only powerless thugs who go on about all their problems being other people's fault.

And Peter is back already. Here's how that happened: "He used to be dead, but he got better." Maybe the bare minimum I talked about isn't really cutting it.

Apparently Jean Grey is a new category of dead, "dead for good" and never coming back. Even though everyone's coming back from the dead right now (this is a trend the characters have identified) she's definitely exempt. You gotta raise the stakes somehow I guess.

I really don't know how many layers of fake reality we're on now, but suddenly there's a "white hot room at the core of creation" an "Otherworld" (where Roma lives if you remember her), a "reality cancer" that makes good old Earth-616 a danger to the omniverse, and also I think we're in an alternate reality where Magneto rules the world. So I guess he's more or less back alive. I don't think the publication date of 2005 means anything to the chronology, we've been on 2014 and then 2013 for so long I figure either this is some kind of reprint run or they stopped paying attention to the numbers in the fine print, but then if it turns out the issue order I'm reading is somehow wrong it's not like I'll be surprised.

In further words that annoy me even more than "nannite," everyone and their mother (their mother being Jean Grey) now have forgotten the term telekinesis and now seem to think the actual word for this superpower is "teke." How do they even pronounce it? I like to imagine some of them say "teek" and some say "teekee" while they all wish they could say "psychokinesis" without everyone thinking they're nerds. Also there's a character called "Omega," spelled with a Greek letter Omega in the front. So Omega-M-E-G-A. Which people keep saying in dialogue. It's weirder than Agent "!" from Doom Patrol because I don't think they think it's a weird thing to say out loud. (I imagine it's pronounced "Omega" with a heavy emphasis on the O. Oooh-mega.)

Some alien jerks crash a party to murder every single member of the excessively numerous Grey family out of fear for Phoenix, except instead of killing Rachel (you know, the one who does have the Phoenix power) when she's utterly defenseless they put a "death mark" on her back so they know they're supposed to kill her and then quit. I'm gonna count that as a "in a reasonable world no one should have survived that."

A casual RIP to Bishop's glorious head of locks, he seems to have turned permanently bald without word or warning. Funny, though, when he's reverted to pre-mutant powers age (a favorite trick of Mojo's) he still has the "M" tattoo on his face.

Okay we clearly have lapsed into an alternate reality where movie rentals look like this: https://i.imgur.com/KKYRdxO.png (Note: All these movies were released between 1998 and 2003. The comic was published in 2009. I think they're catching up to the real world that they live in!)

Remember when Betsy came back to life and nobody could figure out how? A while after that we're introduced to her elder brother Jamie whose "quantum string" telekinetic powers makes him pretty much God, but that had no connection to Betsy's resurrection. But guess what? It turns out Betsy's elder brother Jamie used his Godlike powers to bring her back to life. He then kills her with a finger gun and brings her back again immediately just cause he's CRAAZY.

So the Watcher tells us there's an opposing force to the Phoenix, who exists to break her cycle of universal death and rebirth and end all life in the universe forever (except for four rich white heterosexual British Earthlings who get picked to live forever to remember us all.) His name is First Fallen, he has four wings and he speaks in an art deco font almost identical to DC Comics' Lucifer. You'd think this would have come up before. But he goes away when Betsy stabs him in the head with her telepathic sword made of telekinesis (I'm still figuring out that one) and I feel like he won't come back.

Xavier is walking again, I think this is about the forth time his paralysis has been reversed? This guy goes back and forth from being abled and disabled, alive and dead, telepathic and powerless, headmaster and just disappearing from the comic for years at a time way more than a body can keep track of.

And speaking of things that maybe should have come up at any point in the past 40 years of comics, Scott and Alex have another adult brother, Gabriel, with a different dead mom. This is a bit much to think I've only missed it due to reading the wrong comic. Just keep making up more members of the Summers/Grey family and fuck them into the story like they were there all along why don't you. It's interminably vague if he's older or younger than the other Summers brothers, when he's had time to meet either their space dad and Xavier in the past or anything, but he sure as heck was there all along, one of the most powerful mutants in existence, with a personal grudge against the whole Shi'ar empire. Anyway apparently he killed Sean at some point. Think that's a first for Sean, usually he just gets permanently wounded in the throat and loses his power that depends on screaming.

Also Hepzibah seems to have mutated from a skunk person to a cat person. Alas, my first love, nothing ever stays the same.

Gabriel then kills Corsair, and I got a feeling he won't come back.

Okay, now we're back in the world (?) where Magneto is supposed to be dead but, shocking no one, he's somehow alive and well. Or maybe he's supposed to have lost his powers but we have reason to suspect he doesn't. One more point for the "Magneto can't decide if he's alive or dead at this particular point" column.

Oh, did you hear about that thing when Wanda magically made there be "no more mutants"? I think even people who don't read comics or watch superhero movies heard about that. It's been referenced in the comic a bunch of times, but we've seen absolutely no evidence of it. I mean a total absence of stories about mutants who have lost their powers. Obviously the spell meant "no more mutants except for main characters." Although now we find out most Morlocks lost their powers. (Except for all the important ones.)

As of issue #491, I think I'm done with this. I stopped reading for a couple of days to catch up with Severance (Hell of a TV show) and then I didn't want to go back and when I did it turned out what I have read in the last month or two have left little impression cause I can't remember most of what was going on and I hate going back over my notes to try and figure it out. This is a boring comic, written by so many people for so many generations of readers it does absolutely nothing to interest one person in reading all of it. It should have ended with Claremont, ideally before he started rehashing his own plots. There could have been room in the world for new stories, instead of making all these creators do poor work under tight constrictions to cobble together a poorly fitting "canon" that serves nobody but Marvel's shareholders.

In conclusion, X-Men is not a story because it has no ending and it never will, and the world is poorer for it. I'm gonna go reread Books of Magic to get some whimsy and pathos in my life now. I guess Illyana never did come back.

[wordpress-blaze-169939984]

What is a narcissist?

What characterizes a narcissist? I've encountered this term frequently, not because my friends or colleagues have applied it to me, but rather due to my older sister's frequent use of it. She appears to believe that I fit this description. To diagnose someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), five out of the nine criteria from the DSM-IV-TR are necessary. Some of the traits associated with NPD include a heightened sense of self-importance, preoccupation with fantasies of power, wealth, success, and love, a constant need for admiration, a belief in one's uniqueness, a lack of empathy, arrogance, entitlement, a preference for associating only with important or special individuals, and a tendency to exploit others for personal gain.

It's crucial to distinguish between narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissism refers to certain exhibited traits in a person, where they don't meet enough criteria to be categorized as having NPD.

Allow me to elaborate on the fact that most of us possess elements of personality disorders to some degree. For instance, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is one of the most commonly discussed ones. Each of us experiences varying levels of OCD tendencies. Similarly, anxiety and periods of depression are universal; the key lies in the extent to which these disorders disrupt our daily functioning.

This principle applies to both narcissism and NPD. Celebrating our achievements occasionally and taking pride in reaching goals are healthy behaviors. There's no issue with that. Therefore, if someone labels you as a narcissist or suggests you have OCD, don't be overly concerned. More often than not, they might be projecting their own emotions onto you. Give them space to express themselves, and eventually, the genuine truth will emerge.

Examples and Anecdotes: Imagine a coworker who consistently seeks praise for their achievements and often downplays the accomplishments of others. While this behavior might seem narcissistic, it doesn't necessarily meet the criteria for NPD. On the other hand, someone with NPD might manipulate their colleagues into doing their work for them, exploiting their desire to please for personal gain.

Treatment and Coping Strategies: For those dealing with narcissism or NPD, seeking professional help from therapists or counselors is a crucial step. Cognitive-behavioral therapy and other therapeutic approaches can be effective in addressing the underlying issues and promoting healthier behaviors. Developing empathy, self-awareness, and coping strategies are integral parts of the recovery process. For friends and family, setting boundaries and encouraging open communication can help manage interactions with individuals exhibiting narcissistic traits. Remember that change takes time and dedication, but it's possible with the right support and commitment.

Source: What is a narcissist?

[the-firebird69]

They had a video but it's a different Firebird he's talking about the 69 and she wants to post it but he's exhausted it's an important fiber and it came out in 68 as a 69 and it's symbolic it was not yellow for less now you owned it for a long time it had a bunch of miles but $3,000 and you painted it yellow and you changed some things took the tail off and that means you're not supposed to talk about it and put in a crappy steering mechanism and dangerous and it had drum brakes from the factory no he put in two drums he's an a****** and it was this Trump trying to set him up in an accident and he finally got him an accident because of his idiot son Kevin and he tried to get him in trouble the whole time and was sitting there threatening and want to be the balls and people think that his career started with the Firebird and he amassed a huge Fortune had tons of companies and did things did a lot of people never get to and turns out that the max were having him do it and having him threatened and this guy turned into a piece of nothing in a couple months he felt pieces he's not a stand-up guy he doesn't have the strength of the people and his people don't have the smarts and it wasn't him really doing it the max was showing it up and we were doing the work as well and yeah this guy fell the pieces in in seconds and doesn't even seem fazed that he is selling it all and it seems to be to the neighbor I mean he's a real goofball he's a loser and people don't look at it that way who are gifted and they want to be him so getting the firebird and the newer one it's not that new it's a 1995 would be symbolic just like the yellow Firebird was when our son first had it. Now these things are starting to add up to people that the pseudo empire took it and wanted to do what he did and Timmy Doyle just sat on it and never got it going and really didn't try it didn't occur to him that the year was special but her son designed this car with our daughter to be a special car. The body panels are very strong and added to the strength of the car so they lighten the frame and just put in reinforcing that's his idea and hers and put a six cylinder in to make it more nimble and handle better and better tires and rims you can see it too on the original tires and rims and the induction system was brand new and pretty clever and he also had helps with the motor as a motor is is newer and it has better steel and he sent it to back then he said the steel has to be harder and they did it and it works it's special because it looks it felt like a spaceship to him and they started making the motors out of hardware steel harder still after that year and it worked much better so they use super strength later because of those Firebird they feel that they're going to defeat everyone and that's the max they want him to drive around as a sign to keep us from spaceships and to have all the spaceships to themselves and they're getting ready to get in the car to try and see it and represents them switching gears from what they have been doing it's a big change and it means a lot and it's very symbolic

Thor Freya

This is a huge deal and I knew about it and he didn't really catch the fact that his motor was the start and the people knew about it and they changed the motors because of it they use it as an excuse and also because they find it to be interesting technology we'll see an excuse is not correct it wasn't well known that it would work much better and as it goes it expands and contracts less in the Pistons would be the same hardness and he was specific about it and I was too cuz I told them to do it that way and they suddenly figured out something the expanded contract is the same rate for the most part it's very close and it made a big difference in the car runs much better than most and it all when it's hotter it runs better which is not normal it's backwards so here we go this is how it goes we're going to publish and this will make a huge effect and foreigners will probably get involved it is a symbol of the phoenix the Firebird and they're going to see it too

Hera

This has a lot of symbolism with my people and secretly we're doing similar things and it has to do with a lot of stuff but really mostly it has to do with vehicles and the vehicle of a plan

Zues

Olympus

[viridianmind]

《 HERES HOW KING DESHRET CAN STILL WIN 》

or, the deshret-alhaitham-anaxa-su connections theory blob and what I've been brainrotting on. let's go over what we know so far-

deshret:

- eye symbolism

- knowledge the sky gods don't fucking like

- located in sumeru (obvious one)

- proximity to not one but two big trees (sumeru great tree and also the big green pari one to the northwest of the desert i forgot its name is it like the khavrena or something)

- automation and industrialization based on weird tech and forbidden knowledge

- that lets him make things "outside of what's expected" of his time period

-bird motifs

- Diamond motifs

- refused power when offered it

alhaitham:

- the amount of alhaitham is deshrets reincarnation theories should explain like half of his presence on this list

- literal su expy

- Diamond theming

- bird theming

- focus on light, mirrors, and possibilities leading to a choice (watch the chair scene in his trailer)

- favorite hobby? reading books. which seems normal on the surface but nahida TOLD us that books are used to hold the REAL truth of this world so I'm looking at him sideways

- eye theming. cmon guys his trailer you saw the turn he did

- makes weird solo trips to the desert

- refused power when offered it

su:

- the seed of sumeru was a mission to try and find a bubble universe where the honkai energy did not exist (iirc) on the IMAGINARY TREE which is adjacent to irminsul but that's a theory for another day

- bubble universes/alternate timelines are usually based on the CHOICES people make and how they shape the FUTURE of history

- which is just a stretch to include that chair scene from alhaithams trailer to mean he's thinking about the other universes that could be happening due to choices and decision trees

- anyways. su is a little freak with eye theming and he knows too much and I always find it funny

- called the enlightened one by the entity that governs the honkai in a weird ass game of go (this page doesn't leave my mind ever)

- also in charge of project valuka. do you wanna know what the aranaras name for deshret was. KING VALUKA. this fact drives me up a wall

anaxa:

- we've got less than a paragraph about him and I'm already insane. anyways here we go

- noted as the demised scholar (su is a doctor alhaitham is a scholar and deshret is dead [allegedly])

- already has weird eye theming

- LITERAL SU EXPY 2

- has yaoi bait with the Kevin expy (hopium this isnt currently true as of pre 3.1 HSR)

- forbidden knowledge. weird tree. absolute cunt of a guy. need i say more. we've seen this film before and personally I haven't had this kind of hyperfixation resurgence since sumeru ended so now I'm going to turn anaxa inside out to figure out what's wrong with him

- this is just a hunch but I wouldn't be surprised if nous recognized him in a similar way to that fucking go game panel (hi I'm enlightened god figure and you're the weird green freak that was smart and or crazy enough to figure this out. welcome to an ascended plane)

- theres more but I had so much else going on today pls let me know your thoughts

the more and more i think abt it the more and more i feel as though it'd be interesting if anaxa was kind of offered the coreflame and rejected it

[cherrycheridarling]

tic-tac-toe | mcu

marvel cast x actress!reader

warnings: one swear, fluff, no plot

summary: you play aphrodite in the MCU and it's time for the press conference for infinity war. based off of this press conference

wc: 2.7k

"Tom Hiddleston!" Jeff Goldblum introduced the man who was sitting on your right.

Everyone applauded before Jeff moved onto you, "Y/N Y/L/N!" more applause rang through the room.

"Sebastian Stan!" you looked to your left where Sebastian waved to the crowd as you clapped with everyone else.

"Anthony Mackie!"

After Jeff finished with the introductions, he explained how the panel would work. He would pull a ping pong ball out of a container and it would either have a name or category. The audience would be able to ask a question to that person or a person in that category after Jeff called on them.

As he pulled RDJ's name out of the container, Tom leaned over towards you.

"Does your water taste funny, too?" he whispered making you stifle a laugh.

You nodded, "Kind of like lemon, right?"

He shook his head, "Mine tastes like mint. Can I taste yours?" he held his hand out as you passed him your water bottle. He took a sip and spent a moment analyzing the taste, "Yours does taste like lemon! Why does mine taste different? Here." he passed you his water.

You took a sip and were hit with a strong mint flavour, "Woah. I think they're trying to drug you." you joked making him laugh.

"As I am answering this question, Tom Hiddleston and Y/N Y/L/N are discussing the flavours of the water behind me." Robert exposed you and Tom to the audience making the room burst out into laughter.

"They have fancy water. Mint and lemon." Tom spoke into a mic drawing more laughs. "Sorry. Carry on!"

As Jeff pulled the next name, you adjusted your dress. A white, long sleeve, blazer dress with gold buttons down the middle, the dress ended mid-thigh. The v-neck cut showcased your subtle gold necklace. Black stiletto heels covered your feet.

You unconsciously began bouncing your leg up and down in a fast motion. Sebastian placed a hand on your thigh, stopping your movements, "You're gonna drill a hole through the floor, Y/L/N." he chuckled.

"Sorry." you laughed quietly.

Sebastian pulled out a notepad and pen, "You need a distraction. Tic-tac-toe?" he offered.

You smiled with a nod before making your move.

"You absolutely suck at this." you chuckled as you won the third game in a row.

Sebastian scoffed, "You can't suck at tic-tac-toe."

"And yet, you do." you smirked.

He rolled his eyes playfully before you continued playing.

After two more rounds, your attention was back on Jeff as he pulled a new ping pong ball. "Ooh! You can ask a God or Goddess." Jeff announced, "So, Tom Hiddleston, Chris Hemsworth or Y/N Y/L/N." he reminded the crowd, "Okay, yes, you!" he picked a woman in the front row.

"Hi, I'm Alexis with Forbes. My question is for Y/N." the room applauded as Jeff tossed the ping pong ball at you and you caught it with one hand.

"See, Robert! It's not that hard!" Jeff exclaimed making everyone laugh.

"Screw off, Goldblum! You chucked that shit at my head." Robert joked back. "Sorry, Alexis, go ahead."

"Um, I wanted to ask about Aphrodite's powers. We all know that she is the Goddess of Love and can seduce anyone with her beauty. We see in the trailer a small clip of her seducing men. How many people did you seduce in the film and were there any funny moments filming those scenes that you can share?"

Her question drew a mix of reactions from the cast. Some laughed, some furrowed their eyebrows and others were just confused. You took in the question before opening your mouth to reply, until you remembered that you weren't wearing a body mic. The cast laughed again before Sebastian passed you a mic.

"Sorry. Um, how many people did I seduce in the film? None." you stated drawing more laughs, "How many people did Aphrodite seduce? All of them." you chuckled, "I'm kidding. Although, I'm not sure what I can share because I don't know what's in the trailer." you confessed, "Kevin, Joe, Anthony, what's in the trailer?" you asked them making everyone laugh again.

Kevin picked up a mic, "I believe it's you seducing Spider-Man, Starlord, Drax and Iron Man."

You nodded, "I do have a funny moment that I'm sure Mister Holland will kill me for sharing, but it's too good to not tell." you smiled thinking of the memory.

Tom immediately grabbed a mic, "You wouldn't!" he exclaimed making the audience and cast laugh.

"I would," you retorted, "We were shooting that scene and, as you know, they have to act like they are falling in love with me. Like I'm putting them in a trance. Well, Tom took that a bit too seriously." you paused at the laughter that your sentence caused, "They're all on their knees in front of me, looking at me as if I'm their queen, because I am." you joked, "And then Anthony calls 'cut' and Dave, Chris and RDJ all get up and start chatting, but as I'm turning away, Tom doesn't move. Still on his knees, looking at me as if I hold the world in my hands." the room filled with amused laughs and chuckles as Tom covered his face with his hands.

"No, it was so bad because I just looked like a creep that couldn't stop staring at her!" Tom laughed at himself.

Robert grabbed a mic, "Very true. I was watching and it honestly had me convinced that Y/N had real powers."

"I have to say, I understand the kid's reaction. Y/N's costume for Aphrodite and the way they transform her only enhances how gorgeous she already is." Anthony Mackie spoke up causing the crowd to gush and clap, "I'm pretty sure we all had the same reaction when we first saw her while filming Civil War." he looked around as the cast nodded.

Scarlett picked up a mic, "Yeah. I remember her walking on set in this stunning white dress which made me extremely jealous," she confessed, "Because, one, it's so gorgeous and she looks absolutely amazing in it," the crowd and cast applauded again, "And two, it's made of the softest silk while my suit is leather and spandex!" everyone laughed at her comment.

Benedict picked up his mic, "Although, it wasn't Tom's first time seeing Y/N as Aphrodite. He was in Civil War and still could not contain himself." he teased making the audience and cast laugh again.

Robert spoke again, "Yeah, he did that during the filming of Civil War, too." the room hollered with laughs.

Tom's face was bright red, "I'm just a very committed actor. I really give all of myself to my work." his comment drew more laughs.

"That's why Sebastian despises Tom. It all started when Tom couldn't take his eyes off of Y/N." Chris Hemsworth added making everyone double over in laughter.

"I feel so loved," you held a hand to your heart as the room chuckled, "These are genuinely the best people in the world and I guess you could say I seduced one person during filming." you joked as the crowd continued to laugh, "Sorry, Tom. I'll buy you some juice, don't be mad." Anthony and Benedict laughed loudly. "Thank you for your question!" you thanked the lady as the cast clapped before Jeff picked out the next ping pong ball.

Next was Scarlett. You sat back and silently judged the man who asked about fashion. Scoffing with Sebastian at his question and laughing at Scarlett's sarcastic and witty responses.

Sebastian leaned over again, "I have to piss."

You stifled a laugh at his abrupt confession, "Go to the washroom, then." you nodded your head towards the exit.

"We're not allowed to leave." he frowned.

You chuckled and reached over, patting his thigh with your hand, "Don't piss yourself."

He rolled his eyes playfully before Jeff called out the next name.

"Anthony Mackie!"

"Hi, I'm Tiffany with Times Magazine. With such a star studded cast, do you find it difficult or any obstacles in developing your character with all theses amazing stories being told and struggling for screen time? Like, are there any obstacles or special difficulties or is it all just amazing?"

Before Anthony could answer, Joe Russo picked up his mic, "Are you asking Anthony Mackie if he has a hard time getting attention?" his comment caused the whole room to erupt in laughs.

Anthony nodded slowly as the laughter died down, "Touché, touché. Uh, well, Tiffany, a wise man once said that some men need an hour to make their presence felt and some need thirty seconds." there was an uproar of laughter and hollering at his comment as he dramatically dropped the mic on the table.

"Who are we asking next?" Jeff squinted at the ping pong ball, "Ooh! Back to the Goddess of Love herself, Y/N Y/L/N!" the room applauded for you as Jeff threw the ball to you.

Sebastian intercepted the toss and caught the ball himself with a smug smirk. You rolled your eyes, but smiled as Jeff picked a lady out of the dozens who had raised their hand.

"Hi, I'm Amy with Esquire and I wanted to ask about the relationship between Bucky and Aphrodite. We see in the previous films their awkward tension from their past history. They have a very special romance and their love story is a fan favourite in the Marvel fandom. What was it like building that bond and relationship on screen? And what do you think of the choice to match the two characters together, how did you react when you found out? Did the pairing of the two help build your bond off screen?"

Jeff spoke again, "I said 'one question', that was at least twenty." he teased the lady drawing laughs from the room.

You chuckled and nodded slowly as the laughter died down, "Excellent questions. Umm, I honestly really like the pairing of the two. I think it gives a great dynamic to both characters and reveals sides of them that we never would've seen without their relationship. It's a very 'good girl falling for the bad guy' trope. And if I'm being honest, I've always wanted that." you confessed causing the room to chuckle, "Their relationship is, without a doubt, one of the most complicated ones in the MCU, but I think that's what makes it so loved by the fans since there's not a dull moment between the two. It's nice to see Bucky have a sentimental side, in his own awkward way of course. And you get to see Aphrodite fall for someone who's not a God or a Titan." you turned to Sebastian, "What do you think?"

You offered him the mic, but he didn't take it, letting you hold it up for him, "Yeah, I agree. I never thought Bucky would have a love interest, if I'm being honest. But I'm glad he does because Aphrodite brings out the soft side in him and he brings out the fighter in her. They really balance each other out and Y/N portrays the character in such a unique way, it really brings a whole new fresh persona to Aphrodite and it's amazing having her as a partner on screen." the audience applauded at his words, "When I first found out about Bucky having her as his love interest—"

"—He called me screaming about how hyped he was." Anthony Mackie cut him off making the room laugh. "Anthony! Anthony! Bucky is gonna be with Aphrodite! That's gonna be sick!" Anthony mocked his voice as you were hunched over with laughter.

Sebastian nodded with a smile, "I did. Won't lie, I did. It's a really refreshing relationship and I'm glad that the fans love it as much as I love playing it. Back to you, you haven't talked about the development and our bond." he gave you a lopsided grin.

You chuckled, "I feel like I'm rambling, but yeah. Their development is definitely," you paused, trying to find the right words, "A development?" you settled on drawing more laughter. "Well, as I said, it's very complicated, but awkwardly adorable at times. Since Seb complimented me, I feel obligated to say something nice about him," you joked making them laugh again, "Kidding. He really does play Bucky with such passion and commitment, it's truly inspiring. And working with someone who loves what they do as much as Seb, it definitely motivates you tremendously and yeah. Um, I won't lie, I honestly was dreading working with Seb," you confessed drawing laughs and a gasp from Sebastian.

"Why?!" he exclaimed making you laugh.

You sighed, "Not because I think you're a bad person or anything, but you come off as very intimidating to people who don't know you very well. And I knew nothing about you before filming other than the films you'd already done, so you scared me." your confession caused everyone to laugh loudly.

Sebastian smirked jokingly, "I am extremely frightening. I understand." he shrugged.

You scoffed with a laugh, "I caught you sleeping with a stuffed turtle and whale noises playing." the room roared with laughter again, "That's when I knew you were a big softy."

Sebastian rolled his eyes playfully, "She's joking. I am the toughest man alive." he deepened his voice.

You shook your head with a chuckle, "Sure. Thank you for your questions." the room clapped for you as you set the mic down and relaxed back into your seat.

"Nailed it." Sebastian held a hand out for a high five and you chuckled before hitting your hand against his.

For the rest of the press conference, you sat back and listened to your friends answer questions. Laughed at jokes made and clapped when appropriate. Small tic-tac-toe games went on between you and Sebastian. Your attention was fully on your nails when Tom Hiddleston got called on.

"Hi, I'm Samantha with Daily Mail and I was wondering, since Loki is a very closed off and mysterious character, we never explore the aspect of him having a love interest. So, if you could choose anyone from the MCU for Loki to end up with, who would it be and why?"

You turned to look at Tom as he pondered on the question, crossing his arms and rubbing his chin, "Very good question. Umm, who would I choose for Loki? Let's see," he paused again and looked around the room until his eyes landed on you, "Ah, I'd steal Aphrodite from Bucky." he answered making the room laugh and Sebastian chuckled with a nod.

"Why Aphrodite?" Jeff asked.

Tom chuckled again, "Well, it's Aphrodite." he simply answered drawing more laughs, "They are so different yet similar in so many ways. Loki is never fully evil nor fully good, but I think Aphrodite has the best chance of turning him good. And who wouldn't want to end up with the Goddess of Love?"

The cast nodded understandingly before Chris Pratt grabbed a mic, "If you were to ask any person on this stage that same question, I guarantee the answer would be Aphrodite." the whole cast nodded.

"They're all trying to steal Sebastian's woman." Jeff teased.

Sebastian scoffed jokingly, "They're all jealous." he wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

You chuckled with a shake of your head before Robert spoke up, "Adding onto the conversation. Miss Y/L/N, who would you want Aphrodite to end up with?" his question drew excited reactions from the crowd.

You let out a bark of laughter before looking from Tom to Sebastian, "Hmm, excellent question, Mister Downey." you rubbed your chin, "Stop doing that, Holland." you chuckled as you saw Tom point at himself in the corner of your eye.

He raised his hands in surrender before Anthony Mackie spoke up, "Spidey is five years old, kid." everyone laughed at that.

"I'd have to stick with Bucky. He is her true love." you shrugged as the crowd cheered.

Sebastian smirked from beside you as the men of the cast faked disappointment.

As the panel came to a close, you looked around at the family you were surrounded by. Friends you love more than anything. Hundreds of memories with the most amazing people you'd ever met. Your home.

[heather-ouo]

The forgotten Vessel 

Raiden Mei x Flame chaser! Fem! Reader

Warning: no proofread

Months ago Raiden Mei join the World Serpent during her time of staying some member of the flame chaser reveals that there was one more flame chaser and was the founder of WS, someday later she find a fade print beside Soldier’s vessel.

Things to remind

(Hs/c) - horns colour

(H/c) - hair colour

——————————————————————————————————

Part 2 | coming up

——————————————————————————————————

The horned girl looks at the Remembrance Vessel soldier’s vessel to be honest something feels odd about it the holder on the left side a fade feather print shape…

“ Mei? ”

Mei turned to find Hua behind her.

“ Clas- ahem.. Hua do you know this print beside your vessel? ”

“ That? Is been there when i was here. ”

“ Do you mind borrowing me a feather? ”

Hua nodded and gone to find her feather while Kevin overheard the conversation who decided to ignore it.

Hua comes back with a feather and Mei took it then place it on the fade print, the moment the feather touch the print it dissolved into small orange and red-ish cubes.

The duo waited for a few mins when loud creaks sound comes from below and a wild Elysia appears behind them.

“ Ara~ Ara~ you two didn’t break something did you? ”

Right after the pink elf finished a rusty vessel appeared below Soldier’s memory, a pair of wings warp around the vessel, outer part are same as soldier’s, spider webs covers the vessel, a crown shape on the left wing, underneath title the ‘ Creation’s memory ’

“ Oh my… isn’t that the founder’s vessel.. 

Hey Mei? Try to awake it. ”

Mei pulls out some essence near the vessel as it start to absorbs and gain it’s color the whole colour theme is orange yellow-ish except the outline which is black with pink purple-ish around, small cubes and flame form before the trio while they step back.

“ Dear me.. what is it that l find someone awaken me from my long sleep? ”

A short (h/c) girl with a small pair of red mixed orange color wings behind her, bright amber eyes looks up at the trio, pair of (hs/c) craves around the hair.

The room grew quietly by every second until Mei break the silent.

“ (Y/n)…? ”

“ That’s my name Herrscher of Thunder. ”

“ H-How did you know?.. ”

“ Herrschers know each other didn’t you know Thunder? ”

You two stare at each other before you spotted Kevin who is walking up to the trio.

“ Kevin! My favorite freezer! ”

Kevin snap his head to the source of the shouting and find the small (h/c) who is running up to him.

“ OH COME ON! NOT AGAIN! ”

Now is a game of chasing around the lobby as everyone is dumbfounded to the site of this.

A short chase Kevin jumped over the control panel and you didn’t react in time, small body slamming against the panel.

* * BANG * *

“ She’s gonna have a broken nose for sure…”

The vill-th flame chaser wince at loud bang sound.

You sit up from the ground a hand covers you face while Mei rush up and knee beside the small phoenix, which to found golden liquid dripping down from your hand.

“ Hey Mei Is she dripping down golden from her hand? ”

“ Yea..? ”

Su knee down trying to take care of your bleed nose along with your broken nose while you kept backing away from Su’s hands and slowly reach to Kevin’s side.

“ What’s wrong little phoenix? Come here let me fix your broken nose. ”

“ You’re too warm Su.. can’t stand it ”

Su is currently mentally crying you never let Su touch you nor when you have injures he never know why.

“ Let try me to take care of her.”

Mei put a hand on Su’s shoulder given him a nod then look towards you holding a hand out.

“ . . .”

“ . . . ”

You ran past the horned girl and entered the realm stage.

“ Is.. that normal?”

“ Sure is, the last she acted like was when Hua Join the moth. ”

. . .

. .

.

“ She’s gay? ”

“ You can say it as half, Little (y/n) here is bi. ”

——————————————————————————————————

Okay… some parts of the story even i don’t understand

——————————————————————————————————

Part 2 | coming up |

——————————————————————————————————

[mariamariquinha]

I truly believe...

While I'm idle with my writing and going through a... delicate moment, so to speak, I decided to bring this headcanon that maybe is just in my head (coping mechanism) to you - because I've been thinking about it for days.

Why do I think that KJ look is 'future' of what would be a traumatized and/or different Benny Magalon.

For me, they're both in two different sides of the SAME espectre, especially when it comes to ethics and... you know. Maurice have the tendency to work on characters who have that silent demeanor, always with a grumpy face and small words with big meanings. Kevin IS messed up. (I don't think he should've died though.)

This is me creating layers about a man who didn't even need them in the movie? Yes, but for me this is the epitome of what Benny would be if he'd been through a harsh situation.

Let's say he had a near-death experience at work - months in the hospital recovering, too much medication and time off. All the recklessness he could have maintained throughout his career (the same one that got him in that situation) would become a fear that, overnight, he might just die and despite believing that his friends would miss him, he would not be irreplaceable.

So Benny slowed down. The attention he gave to his physical appearance, the shitty attitudes and even the more 'obscure' activities of the team, which he would still participate but as a very passive spectator, would be some attitudes he would take without thinking, just as a reflection of the trauma.

For a time, he might even had nightmares. Would start therapy.

When I started writing Bossa Nova, I used one Kevin gif for a chapter and, for that, I just did that because Benny basically have 5 minutes on screen. There's not much material of the guy out there 😂, but looking now, I might say that this is how Benny looks like during the timeline of my story.

Old Benny wouldn't bat an eyelash for whatever the fuck Mathias did to you. Wouldn't waste his time trying to get closer or to even pay attention to you (unless you were one of those girls drooling over him and shit). Perhaps the reason why he got closer was exactly because you couldn't care less for what he thought or Nick thought or anyone thought about you. If necessary, you would give people shit for being... shitty.

And when you finally turned to him, brows furrowing and a defeated expression on your face (because Mathias needed to be that bitch), he knew he needed to do something.

When you smiled at him while talking about Kojak, Benny saw that, for the first time, you paid attention. He paid attention.

(for what it's worth it I don't think he would look so miserable wearing these sweatshirt and all, 'kay? the guy might have changed but he's still on).

He could still be the fuckboy?

In bed. With Mathias because the guy needs to be put on his place. With suspects.

He doesn't need to be the biggest in the room anymore.

Ah, and about his car. I know he would be annoyed if someone put their feet on the panel or leave food on it. The guy is neat and he WILL give you hell if he needs to.

Then kiss you.

But please don't leave your McDonald's cup there.

----------------------------

If you might be interested:

@cheesybadgers

@thoroughlymodernminutia

@mysoulisasunflower

@tropes-and-tales

[galaxy98]

While I like to joke about the whole voice cast of the Mario movie, there's a conversation to be had about celebrity voice acting and whether something like this is an indictment of said issue.

But before I get into that, I would like to share some insight that I learned from Jason Marsden back at an April convention.

While some may know him as Eric's friend from Boy Meets World, I've known him as Max Goof from Disney's Goofy Movie and just about any cartoon where I'm bound to hear his voice.

When I went to his panel, he talked about some things that I didn't even know about. It turned out he had left California a while back and had been doing work over in Tennessee, specifically the entertainment scene. Just recently, he created a web series called The Mars Variety Show, which showcased entertainers over in Nashville.

But the one thing he mentioned from his experience is that the workload he was getting was less compared to what he got back in Cali.

This is especially true when it came to voice acting.

So once it was time for me to ask him a question, I was able get an answer that should've been obvious at first, at least to me.

Voice acting, like Animation and Entertainment, is centralized.

If you really wanted to work in the big leagues, you have to go over to California.

It's like the saying goes, Hollywood is the place to be. Because it's sadly the ONLY place to be.

Because of how centralized it is, no major studio is willing to look outside their own state to see the potential diversity that's out there. Even Marsden lamented about this at his panel because he knew that there were so many talented voice actors that would've killed to have to have a chance in the field. But because they don't live in California, they're ignored.

As such, studios only relied on two groups, career voice actors who live there or celebrities. There are some exceptions, but that's the main gist.

Now what does this have to do with the Mario movie?

Well here's the list of who's going to star in it:

Chris Pratt

Anya Taylor-Joy

Charlie Day

Jack Black

Keegan-Michael Key

Seth Rogen

Charles Martinet

Fred Armisen

Kevin Michael Richardson

Sebastian Maniscalco

Out of all of the cast members, only three of them are career voice actors, Charles Martinet, Kevin Michael Richardson, and Fred Armisen (I think). Even Martinet, who's been doing the voice of Mario for decades is relegated to a cameo. Yet Chris Pratt is billed as the top star for the plumber. Now all of them had done some voice work one way or the other, especially Jack Black and Seth Rogen.

So why is it that celebrities get the all of the marketing while career actors are sitting in the sidelines?

Two words.

Jeffrey Katzenberg.

Jeffrey was once the chairman of Walt Disney Studios from 1984 to 1994. While the movies during his tenure would go on to be successful, he was often criticized for his business practices and for his general attitude towards animation. In the documentary, Waking Sleeping Beauty, many animators talked about how he was being disrespectful towards them because he was more concerned with how much money these movies were going to make or how these movies were going to be marketed. It's an open secret that he originally wanted to cut Part of Your World from Little Mermaid because of the reception they were getting at a test screening.

Then comes in Robin Williams.

When creating the movie, Aladdin, they made the Genie character with him in mind. He agreed, but stipulated that he wasn't in the majority of the marketing. According to Williams, he wanted to make movies, not merchandise.

As the story goes, the exact opposite happened and that's what created the sour relationship between Robin and Disney.

So if you wondered why the Genie is voiced by Dan Castellaneta in the supplementary material and spinoffs, this is why. It wasn't because they couldn't afford him. It's because Williams wanted nothing to do with them.

Since then, many would try to capitalize on this type of strategy.

Many Disney rip-offs would place the emphasis on the celebrity marketing rather than putting effort into the story.

Even when Jeffery Katzenberg left Disney, he took that mindset along with him when creating Dreamworks. Some would argue that may have been a factor to why they were struggling in the early 2010s. He was paying the celebrities so much money to star in the movies that once the diminishing returns started piling up, it left them in a struggled state. There were other factors too, but what was happening in the animation side didn't help.

Not even Disney was safe when he left.

All of this set a precedent for years to come. All because Disney didn't abide by Williams's contract.

The most recent example of blatant disregard for career voice actors would have to be the Space Jam sequel.

In the marketing, it advertised Zendaya as Lola Bunny.

You wanna know who they forgot?

Jeff Bergman, Eric Bauza, Bob Bergen, Candi Milo, and Fred Tatasciore.

These people have done voice work for Warner and Looney Tunes, some were even doing it a while longer.

Yet they thought they were being clever by not properly crediting them in the trailer.

I actually had to go on the wiki page to look up the cast.

This caused some controversy within the Animation and Voice Acting community because it exposed a general problem with marketing.

There was also another issue with the animators not getting any proper credit, but that's a whole new can of worms.

Now you may be asking me, "Aren't there any celebrities out there who had done live action before getting into voice acting? If so, wouldn't they be considered a part of the problem?"

And that's where the lines are blurred.

While Mark Hamill had done some voice work prior to Star Wars, his role as Luke Skywalker is what defined him for the rest of his life. People speculated that the reason why he went back to voice acting is because he was tired about being typecasted. It was because of his role as Joker in Batman TAS, he was able to get more work as a voice actor. So while Star Wars is what defined his live action side, he was able show off more of his talent in voice acting. Ironically, he's tends to be chosen for voicing villain characters, so you could say that the Joker defined him on the animation side.

Not convinced? Here's another example.

Tim Curry, a man well known for having such a flexible resume in theater, music, video games, television, radio, and film, had also done a ton of voice work in several mediums and there are a few roles in that specific area that would go on to define him and his career before suffering a stroke in 2012.

Not enough? There's more.

Brenda Song once started as an actor for live action shows for Nickelodeon, Disney, and other misc. TV and is recently voicing Anne Boonchuy on Amphibia with no objections.

Okay then, here are other examples.

Tom Hanks, Jack Black, Jeremy Irons, Mike Myers, Seth Green, Ben Schwartz, just to name a few. They all started doing live action prior to voice acting and yet some of their roles in that field had defined their career.

So most of these examples boil down to circumstances, if anything. Not only that but some of those roles came from either a one-off or a start up franchise.

So why do they never face any scrutiny?

The problem isn't with the celebrities themselves doing voice acting. It may seem like that, but it's not entirely accurate.

The problem is the intent behind it.

When you look at Chris Pratt voicing Mario, you don't hear someone voicing an Italian plumber. You just hear Chris Pratt because that's what defined voice work. You only hear the person himself. And unless if the trailers say otherwise, this is going to be the looming fear over people's heads because that's what we tend to expect from Hollywood.

True, there were other people who had played the role before Martinet, but none were able to stick around like he did. Plus, you have to keep in mind that while the franchise was popular right out the gate, it all took place during the younger years until things started to settle.

You could say the same thing for Sonic, though they are a lot more loose regarding the changing of voice roles.

Would Charles make much of a difference if he starred in the role? I don't know. Make no mistake, what I'm saying isn't an indictment on his craft, it's just...I don't know. While some may think that he's secretly against this, Charles doesn't strike me as that kind of guy.

For Mario fans, myself included, it was such a drastic transition from Charles to....Chris Pratt. Though my reaction was me laughing at the absurdity.

As for the whole movie, who knows. If there's one thing I've learned from Sonic 2020 is that you can never know how it's going to turn out. It's why they have a sequel on the way and Idris Elba is going to voice Knuckles.

But yeah, I feel like the biggest solution to the problem is that system itself needs to be changed from the ground up in order for fresh new talent to thrive.

The Entertainment industry shouldn't be limiting themselves to their own front and back yard just because they can make easy bank off of it. They're passing by unknown talent outside of California that would've wanted to have a chance at working for more than what's given to them.

Is this the only solution out there? Maybe not.

But that's the beauty of taking risks

TL;DR: The Voice Acting industry, like everything else in Entertainment, needs to be decentralized.

[itsallyscorner]

Could you do something where the reader is a marvel actor but crashes a panel that Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan are doing (kinda like Tom Holland did that one time) but the sofa is small so the reader is squished in between them and has to share their mics when asked questions something like that. It can be platonic but they are really close or the reader has a little thing going on with Seb but is really close with Mackie. I hope that made sense!

Oooo this request is so cute! Thank you for the request lovely, hope you like it!💜

a/n: This imagine is HEAVY on the dialogue because I wanted to include some fun questions from the fans and what not, anyway here’s the imagine:) 

💌.

Stackie Sandwich

You watched from backstage as Anthony showed off his thighs to the crowd, you know, the usual. You were currently at ACE Comic Con along with Anthony and Sebastian. You always enjoyed going to these kind of things. Meeting and getting to interact with the fans was always fun, it reminded you of why you did these movies and how thankful you were to have such lovely, supportive fans.

Currently you and the crew backstage were trying to find a way to sneak you onto the stage without interrupting a question.

Anthony sat back down on the small couch as Sebastian laughed at his friend’s antics.

“I’m telling y’all, you wanna have thighs like these, you gotta do leg day. Don’t skip leg day.” Anthony tells the crowd as he nudges Sebastian. You chuckle from backstage as Kevin Smith, the monitor of the panel continues.

“So I know we were supposed to be joined by (y/n) (y/l/n), where is she?” He asked the men.

“Probably on a coffee run.” Sebastian answered immediately shaking his head with an eye roll. The crowd reacts with quiet giggles.

“I swear that woman cannot function without her coffee.” Anthony remarked.

“I’ve known her for years and lemme tell you it’s like her body is going through some kind of error. We were on set for a movie we did together and I was talking to her.” Anthony started as he leaned forward.

“Now I didn’t know she didn’t have her coffee yet. I’ve been talking for like 10 minutes and the whole time she was sleeping. And when she began to like wake up and talk, it was like she was a sloth.” Anthony shared as he proceeded to act like a sloth saying “Error 404” really slow.

You turned to the stage hand and said “I’m going now, he just called me a sloth.”

The man laughed and handed you a mic from the side. Before walking out you say into the mic, “I know you ain’t talking about me, Mackie.” You walk out to the stage and the crowd cheers loudly. Mackie throws his head back as he laughs.

“Hey everyone!” You greet the crowd, waving at all of them. You approached the guys with your arms up in a “fight me” manner, it was mostly for Anthony. You greet Kevin and move to Sebastian, purposely skipping Anthony.

“Hey, dragostea.” Seb greeted you as he wraps his arms around your body. You giggled as you wrapped your arms around his neck and hide your face in between his neck and shoulder.

When you pull away you turn to Anthony who looked offended. You send him a playful smile and smack his arm before jumping on him and wrapping your arms around him. He lets out his boisterous laugh and hugs you back. In the process you drop your mic on the stage causing you to cringe.

You guys settle onto the small couch. You sat in between Anthony and Seb, fairly squished in the middle by the two buff men. Their legs took up too much space on the couch, leaving no room for your own legs. The crowd laughed at your face as you tried to make yourself comfortable in the tight space.

You went to speak into your mic but it didn’t register. Looks like you broke the mic.

“Look at you, haven’t been up here for a minute and you already broke something.” Anthony tisked playfully. Sebastian poked you with his mic and handed it to you. You thanked him with a smile. 

“I’ll pay for that! Just send me the bill.” You yell towards the back. You look at Anthony and raise your brow at him.

“You need to pipe down, son. You’ve been coming at me all morning long.” You acknowledged pointing a finger at him. The crowd laughs along with Seb. Anthony nods as he stifles his laughs to himself.

“(Y/n), thank you for joining us, how are you?” Kevin asks you.

“I’m doing great! I’m so excited to be here and meet all of you! I saw so many of you guys dressed up, and you all look absolutely amazing! I also saw a dog on my way here!” You answered bubbly.

“What kind of dog?” Sebastian asked pulling your hand with the mic towards him.

“A golden retriever and omg he was dressed as Cap!” You squealed.

“I hope that dog is here because I want to meet them and just smother them with hugs.” You add as you motion to the audience.

“Sebastian said you were running late because you were on a coffee run, is that true?” Kevin asks as Sebastian scrunches his nose. 

“I mean he’s not completely wrong. I got coffee before I got here. But the traffic on the way here was really bad.”

“She’s lying, she spent a good half hour at Starbucks sippin’ on her coffee while inhaling the smell of Starbucks like an addict.” Anthony jokingly jabs at her. You were used to the playful jabs from Mackie, it was how you guys were. Knowing each other for years, you guys formed a brother/sister relationship.

“Alright then! So, we’ve got a line forming for the questions! How about we start?” Kevin continued as he motioned to the crowd.

🕓 Time Skip

It’s half an hour into the panel and you guys have been asked so many questions already. Some about your characters, the relationships off screen, and some new projects. Thankfully the crowd was very nice and respectful to you all, no one asked anything rude or made offensive comments.

The laughs were just dying down after Mackie told another one of his jokes. A teenage girl dressed as your character came up to the mic.

“Hi, my name is Maddie and my question is for (y/n)!” She waved at you with a grin.

“Hi, hun! You look beautiful by the way, I love your costume!” You complimented her, taking Anthony’s mic. She thanks you and continues.

“I—, I’m sorry you’re just so small compared to Anthony and Seb on that couch. You’re so cute!” The audience laughs along with the two men next to you.

You huff and squish your way out between Anthony and Sebastian’s bodies, “In my defense it’s a really small couch! And these guys are so beefy they take up all the space on here!”

“It’s a Stackie sandwich with a side of (y/n)!!” Mackie enthusiastically announced making the crowd go crazy.

Sebastian moved further into the corner of the couch making more space for you. He even moved his arm to rest on top of the couch’s backrest. You could hear some fans point it out and squeal. You thank him by patting his leg as his arm lingered behind you.

“So my question is, how is it like to be around such tall people? Because I’m short as well and I have to always look up at everyone.” Maddie says into the mic.

“That’s exactly how it is! Sometimes I get concerned if I’ll mess up my back because I have to look up at everyone!” You say into Sebastian’s mic, which he voluntarily held up for you.

“We carry her around a lot on set.” Seb chimes from beside you.

“Yeah like a sack of potatoes.” Anthony adds.

You pull on Seb’s arm to talk into the mic, “They also tease me a lot, but it’s all in good fun.”

—•

“Hey guys! I’m Jess and my question is for Anthony! So you and (y/n) have worked on multiple projects together. How was it like to be in Marvel with each other and act along side each other?”

You giggled at the question, turning to Anthony, “How’s it like to work with me, huh?”

“I mean, honestly, it’s always an honor to work with (y/n). I’m glad that I know someone like her in this business, she’s one of the most genuinely nice people you’ll ever meet. And I respect her for that because sometimes it’s hard to not get blinded by the fame and just become a dick, or a diva in your case.” Anthony answered as he threw an arm around you.

“Aww thanks, Mac.” You smile and lean on his shoulder.

“And to add onto that. Our characters in the movie are pretty close as well, so when Anthony and I have scenes together, it doesn’t even feel like acting. It’s always a great time on set when he’s around.” You finished off.

—•

“Hi, I’m Elena and my question is for Sebastian!”

“This is our last question for the panel, so make it good!” Kevin interjects.

“Go ahead, sweetheart.” Sebastian says to the fan.

“Bucky and (y/c/n) have really good chemistry with each other in the movies and the relationship doesn’t feel forced onto the fans. I wanted to know if any of the chemistry on screen is real offscreen?” Elena asked with a cheeky grin. You remained quiet as you felt Anthony nudge you with his knee.

Sebastian longingly stared at you for a moment before answering, “Well it’s not hard to act like you’re in love with (y/n), because everyone on set loves her. She unapologetically herself and I think that’s what makes it so easy to have chemistry with her, it just felt natural with her, you know?”

“To answer your question, Elena. They’ve been on a few dates already.” Anthony blurted out causing the audience to erupt. You looked at him with your mouth agape from your position on Sebastian. You were currently leaning into his side while your arm rested on his thigh.

“You weren’t supposed to say that.” Sebastian uttered as he moved his arm to wrap around your shoulders. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have feelings for Seb. You guys definitely had chemistry offscreen and everyone knew about it.

“Hey! All I’m implying is that y’all need to both stop beating around the bush and make it official Anthony defended himself.

“Fine!”

“(Y/n), how do you feel about dinner tonight?” Sebastian asked you.

“Sounds good.” You smile at him.

“Great, we have some things to discuss.” He playfully teased the crowd.

“FEELINGS!” Anthony yelled over Sebastian.

Kevin laughed as he ended the panel, “On that note! Our panel has come to an end, thank you everyone for showing up and for your questions! Thank you Anthony, (y/n), and Sebastian for coming here we really appreciate it!”

You guys thank the crowd again and take a group picture with the audience. Anthony leaves the stage first followed by you and Seb. Sebastian helps you down the stairs and keeps a hand on your back.

“Wait, are we actually going to dinner?” You asked looking up at him.

“Yeah, I told you, we’ve got some stuff to talk about.” He winks as he leads you guys to the green room.

dragostea - love

[crystallhamptonhersheykiss]

After hearing/seeing some of the stuff that was at Hamster and Gretel comic con panel. (Along with the two trailers) I'm a little more interested in this show.

Saying that I do agree with a lot of the negatives that others have pointed out. (I think the first concept art shown should've been a lot better, and I don't think the first clip they released was the right one to get everyone excited etc.) Although the clip felt like something that could happen in the P&F world, (in my opinion) so I feel like that's a good thing.

I don't think the theme song is bad but I obviously prefer the phineas&ferb and Milo themes. It'll probably grow on me in time.

Dan has said Kevin and Gretel's relationship is an important part of the show, so I'm interested in seeing what the relationship is like before and after H&G get powers and Kevin doesn't.

I liked Alison Stoner as Isabella, so I'm looking forward to seeing what she does in a villainous role.

I'm glad that they're not planning a crossover right now. As much as I love Milo, I think the fact that the first season was building to the crossover, held it back from getting a chance to stand on it's own. I'm hoping H&G will be able to do that.

I'm cautiously optimistic for the show. (I need to watch at least a couple of episodes before I can decide if it's something I'll like.) The show looks like it'll fun. I'm hoping it ends up being better than it looks. Although I wouldn't be surprised if it ends up being similar to big city greens and being more popular with a younger audience.

Regardless of how this turns out, I just hope Disney treats this show better than they did Milo. I still think MML should've gotten three to four seasons like Phineas and ferb did.

[letarasstuff]

An awkward Meeting

(A/N): This was requested by an anon. I'm happy to finally present you this one, I really had fun writng it, because it's practically a casual slice out of the crime fighting lovelies :) Enjoy it!

Summary: Derek's daughter accompanies her Aunt and Uncle to the convention. That's pretty much it. Except for that one awkward meeting...

Warnings: A little awkwardness, Kevin Lynch, mentions of murdering someone (it's a joke), the reader dresses up as Black Widow (dunno why I say this, but maybe someone doesn't feel comfortable dressing up as a white/female character)

Wordcount: 1k

✨Masterlist✨ _________________________________

Derek Morgan is the king of teasing. No, really. If there was a medal and trophy for teasing, he would definitely have it displayed in his glass cabinet next to his daughter’s achievements.

That’s why (Y/N) has to defend her choice to go with her Aunt Penelope and Uncle Spencer to the bone. “Princess, are you really sure you want to do that? I mean, I won’t be mad to take you back home. We can relax on the couch or look at the new house I want to renovate. What do you say?”

(Y/N) pushes the hair from her wig out of her face. “I say no. Dad, I promised them to go and I worked way too hard and long on this cosplay to just don’t use it. Face the facts, your daughter is a nerd dressed in a Black Widow costume.”

Derek laughs and tries to ruffle her hair from his position without causing a car crash. “You, little missy, spent too much time with your Uncle Spencer when you were younger. I think I have to keep both of you from interacting with each other.”

“Oh shut it, you love us and our nerdy rants. Also you have to take the next exit”, his daughter says while looking at her phone for the directions. “Oh okay. I see. You don’t trust your old man bringing you to your little geek event or what?” He teases her and takes the turn.

“Ok, have fun with your Aunt and Uncle. Penelope will bring you home after you ate dinner together. Be good for them, understood?” “Yes”, (Y/N) murmurs while checking her bag.

Her father smirks. “Yes what?” “Sir, yes, Sir. Better?” He pulls her in for a hug. “Much. I love you.” The teenager opens the door and responds: “Love you, too! See you later!” And off she is, the red curls of her wig bouncing with her very step.

“Ah, there she- Oh my god, this cosplay is amazing, like literally everything. You really have to steal our spotlight, do you?” Penelope gushes over (Y/N)’s outfit. “No, I mean look at you. And Spencer, did you handknit that scarf, because I’ve been looking for one like this for ages and I couldn’t find one. You have to show me the pattern if you did.”

After a while of babbling over each other’s cosplay and how certain parts got done, the trio decides to go into the convention. “Okay, the TV Movie is at Hall H at 9. Can we go to that?” Penelope asks, being a step ahead of them. She is practically glowing with excitement.

“Absolutely!” Spencer tells her, being as delighted as the blonde techie. “Do you guys think we can make it to the Enterprise panel at 11? I really wanna see that”, (Y/N) nearly begs. She didn’t wait for nearly two months to miss it in the end.

Penelope nods. “Probably. Thank you both for coming.” “Of course, I wouldn’t want to miss it for the world”, the genius tells her. Together they go into the convention and nerd out about any little thing.

“Do you guys think my Dad would be mad if I bought that Bucky hoodie and Captain America shield after purchasing two pop figures already?” (Y/N) asks, looking indecisive. “There is only one way to find out", encourages Spencer with a sly smirk.

A little later they leave the complex to get a bit of fresh air after spending hours upon hours in a clamped building. As they fangirl about other people’s cosplays, they meet a familiar face.

“Penelope!” “Kevin” Garcia counters, though she is more solemn. “You came and brought a friend. CSU technician Sharp how are you?” Spencer and (Y/N) look at each other uncomfortably. This is definitely the most awkward situation they ever witnessed.

After telling Kevin how lame the whole convention is, Penelope takes her companions by the arm and drags them away.

“Wow, I’ve never seen Penelope Garcia this stiff. Are you sure you don’t have a stick up your-” “I dare you to end that sentence and I’ll tell your father the real amount of money you just spent in there”, she cuts the teenager off, looking her deadly serious into the eye.

This whole Kevin thing pretty much killed the mood, but they still go on with their day. They even meet Rossi, who seems like he just wants to forget that he saw the three of them in costumes.

Later that evening, (Y/N) sits with her Aunt on her couch nearly passed out from the food coma they induced themselves in. “To be honest, Penny, I think you can do 1000 times better without Kevin. Also, I can 100% kill that guy for you, I watched enough Bones episodes to know how to do the perfect crime.”

The blonde laughs and cuddles her godchild closer to her. “Naw, I can’t let you do that as a responsible wine aunt, but I thank you very much for the offer. Now get up, I have to get you home else your father will send out a search party with dogs and as much as I want to pet them I don’t think he will be happy about it.”

That night Derek enters his daughter’s room, spotting her on her bed nearly asleep. “I had the most awkward meeting today, Dad. It was even worse than your cooking fiasco last Christmas.” “Nothing is worse than that. The only thing able to trump that is Penelope meeting Kevin”, he laughs quietly. But as he sees his daughter nodding, his eyes go wide. “No they didn’t!”

“They did and it was super awkward!” Derek lays himself beside her. “Spill the beans. I have to know everything about that to tease your aunt at work.”

And this is exactly how they fall asleep, cuddled close to each other, gossiping about anyone they don't like.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962

[wordpress-blaze-169939984]

What is a narcissist?

What characterizes a narcissist? I've encountered this term frequently, not because my friends or colleagues have applied it to me, but rather due to my older sister's frequent use of it. She appears to believe that I fit this description. To diagnose someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), five out of the nine criteria from the DSM-IV-TR are necessary. Some of the traits associated with NPD include a heightened sense of self-importance, preoccupation with fantasies of power, wealth, success, and love, a constant need for admiration, a belief in one's uniqueness, a lack of empathy, arrogance, entitlement, a preference for associating only with important or special individuals, and a tendency to exploit others for personal gain.

It's crucial to distinguish between narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissism refers to certain exhibited traits in a person, where they don't meet enough criteria to be categorized as having NPD.

Allow me to elaborate on the fact that most of us possess elements of personality disorders to some degree. For instance, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is one of the most commonly discussed ones. Each of us experiences varying levels of OCD tendencies. Similarly, anxiety and periods of depression are universal; the key lies in the extent to which these disorders disrupt our daily functioning.

This principle applies to both narcissism and NPD. Celebrating our achievements occasionally and taking pride in reaching goals are healthy behaviors. There's no issue with that. Therefore, if someone labels you as a narcissist or suggests you have OCD, don't be overly concerned. More often than not, they might be projecting their own emotions onto you. Give them space to express themselves, and eventually, the genuine truth will emerge.

Examples and Anecdotes: Imagine a coworker who consistently seeks praise for their achievements and often downplays the accomplishments of others. While this behavior might seem narcissistic, it doesn't necessarily meet the criteria for NPD. On the other hand, someone with NPD might manipulate their colleagues into doing their work for them, exploiting their desire to please for personal gain.

Treatment and Coping Strategies: For those dealing with narcissism or NPD, seeking professional help from therapists or counselors is a crucial step. Cognitive-behavioral therapy and other therapeutic approaches can be effective in addressing the underlying issues and promoting healthier behaviors. Developing empathy, self-awareness, and coping strategies are integral parts of the recovery process. For friends and family, setting boundaries and encouraging open communication can help manage interactions with individuals exhibiting narcissistic traits. Remember that change takes time and dedication, but it's possible with the right support and commitment.

Source: What is a narcissist?

[just-illegal-art]

some doodles!!! my executives have been dysfunctioning so i haven't finished anything, though i am working on some pfps, i feel like those will be easy to do

Doodles under the cut will have white backgrounds btw

will add some more in a rb

meme redraw from a discord server (the rtcu/ miitopia one)

ok i remember liking these when i first made em like a few weeks ago??? but neither of these people look like bdubs or scar????? i do think the idea of seeing someone building in 3l/ ll and someone else being hostile about is is funny still, tho

like these are some cool builds and like at any time someone could run in and go "are you scheming something, you fucking conman???" and scar is just muted, trying to pick out the right accent color or something

a lot of these include me losing my mind

the scribbles around engarde are bc my stylus was like. registering as being on its side?? if that makes sense??? and i was getting really mad

was losing my mind here too. finishing off tgaa 1 w/ my mom while i was kinda loopy. laughing really hard at absolutely nothing. god i hated that game. time to play the sequel lmaoooo

i love young kay's outfit sm

the two on the left don't look like my style bc idk how to draw them in my style

fun fact! this drawing has a kill count! it looks fine, but whenever i try to draw someone next to him, it turns out terrible! datz w/ cane has killed 2 so far (gina lestrade and phoenix wright)

another meme redraw, but a lot messier than the other one

if it looks like there's a panel missing, it's bc there is lmaoooo, i removed it bc dan looked like a toddler and i couldn't fix it

gotham au lore???

the kevin/ df/ gray collab is always in the back of my mind at all times