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#I FEEL SO BAD ITS BEEN MONTHS
brn-t · 1 month
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LOL i thought i was finally free once i got through the show I was vending for, i was like GREAT finally time to update LL, and then out of Nowhere, a project I had thrown a bid in MONTHS ago for decided Now was the perfect time to let me know I'd gotten selected for the project.
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cptnbeefheart · 3 months
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this old world may never change and sometimes i wonder: do you ever think of me?
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liauditore · 9 months
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cw// implied character death, double life nonsense
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because you are love itself.
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stringyoualong · 7 months
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The boypussy art is having an small peak. Heres an remake i made some time ago so just i can throw this somewhere
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pixelatedraindrops · 15 days
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Yuma Month: Day 28: Death
“ B A D E N D”
TW // Blood
TW // Suicide
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slavhew · 3 months
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Hello!
If you're not too busy, would you mind listing some of the things you think count as death flags for Mr. Spender?
There's the obvious fact that he's the "old" mentor to group of young protagonists, but what else do you think would count?
OHH BOY ok so I'd think I'm a crackpot for this but since we're talking about Zack "Foreshadowing" Morrison. I have some thoughts
No harm in leading with the (chronologically) first thing that jumped out at me:
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This one IMMEDIATELY made me antsy whenever I came back to it after my initial read, and considering Zack has referred to it on twitter in the past as one of their favorite jokes it's definitely not been forgotten about.
Second, the sheer amounts of near-misses, jokey or not, of Spender narrowly avoiding specifically lightning
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Again, not much, but it's weird that it happened thrice, latter two of which had real gravitas rather than an one-off joke.
And third, Spender himself. He's repeatedly shown himself to be kind of a self sacrificing idiot, as well as prideful to a fault. Granted, it's both him and Mina trying to take on all the responsibility of saving Mayview and its inhabitants from their fate.. But Spender is exactly that right measure of doesn't-value-himself-enough (chest footprint aftercare or lack thereof), having an obscene amount of power (enables his loner act + pride) and poor judgement that has the capacity to put him at great risk. And it has!
Spender has not only shown low enough self-esteem to view himself as the de-facto scapegoat for the safety of the town, but also prideful enough to make very bad calls that end up in people, often himself, hurt (COUGH FORGE INCIDENT COUGH)
This is all conjecture, but it's definitely enough to make me worried about him :') Even if all this doesn't mean he'll necessarily die he's definitely getting (even more) seriously injured at some point. I love the guy but he's so far doing a horrible job of convincing me he wants to live bad enough to circumvent at least that
#not art#admin answers#paranatural#pnat#richard spender#pts-fic-notes-and-blog#before i continue on with tag ramble i just want to say tysm for leaving an ask!#none of my friends read this so ive been stewing on these thoughts for some months and i loved finally sharing them#this isn't exactly proof but the hijack possession seemingly being the final nail in the coffin for his and isabel's relationship.#idk it feels significant to me. thats one more tether to support kinda gone. someone who knows him well enough to know he's unwell#he seems not exactly content but fr incapable of not burning bridges as he is now. and considering how rashly he acts he REALLY needs those#to not do stupid shit all the god damn time with no buffer other than Lucifer. who for his measured approach to rick's hotheadedness#has honestly shown himself to be pretty lenient and kinda bad at controlling spender's more (self) destructive tendencies? so he dont count#to be clear i love spender to bits but he is dumb as rocks and has all the self preservation of a fruit fly. it needs to be said#also the lightning man... idk its WEIRD like especially on the reread its the thing that most consistently threatens him! it repeats#sure he gets chewed by a bat and banged up by forge but?? he somehow always comes back to lightning. catnine has it out for him#its something i didnt even really put together until i continued reading the flashback chapter AFTER getting this ask and went OHHHGNHF#which the only reason lightning is such a non issue is lucifer's powers. which belong to his sunglasses and not to the spirit in him#so its not like they can't be taken away he's just got a really good excuse for having those on all the time#TAGS GETTING SO LONG. ANYWAYS. i hope this is comprehensible lol
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swordsonnet · 1 year
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the most annoying thing about me/cfs is that it's more like 10 different illnesses in a trenchcoat. i'll wake up with a new symptom and be like "oh okay, guess that's what we're doing today"
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starjunkyard · 2 months
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"Im not even sure anymore if we get to choose who our friends are" There is a part of me that resents you for making me a worse person than i want to be but i am inexplicably uncontrollably drawn to you. You make me a worse person which is the last thing i want yet i want you in every way. If i could leave i would. Maybe i can but i dont want to. I have fun with you. You challenge me and you captivate me and you push me and pull and run circles around me and it makes me feel like a younger man. For the price of being a worse person i get to feel truly, wholly alive. You are the blood that runs through my veins; vital, inseparable. I was reborn when i met you and you are the womb that haunts me. You are the one person on planet earth who knows me. I wish i could leave, move on and be the man im supposed to be but my heart is tied to yours in a gordian knot. There is a part of my soul that rests in yours, magnetic. For as long as i love you i cannot be better than i am. But maybe thats something i can learn to live with. Gregory House-- I think you're worth it.
#house md#james wilson#gregory house#hilson#johan being crazy about yaoi md#johan's mindpalace#Im crazy#like im tearing up#this scene is so romantic it genuinely makes me nauseous#the lowlight setting the lingering stares the soft little smile a dam thats finally broken#I need a 12 gauge bullet in the thigh#Please watch this scene screencaps do not do it near enough justice#do you know whats so genuinely actually sickening#its been months since i finished house md#and i have not watched a single show that has managed to fill even a quarter of the gaping bleeding hilson shaped hole in my heart#shows that have actual gay people actual representation and not a single one has managed to alter my brain chemistry the way hilson has#since day 1 episode 1#Like its actually nauseating a little its so over for me for the rest of my life#Like im actually never recovering#people say “they dont make xyz like they used to haha” But Guys they Genuinely dont#Im going through withdrawls#I need my yaoi cocaine so bad but my plug died 12 years ago and i cant fucking Move#House md capital of fatphobia homophobia transphobia early 2000s edgy humour outshining modern shows with actual rep like im sick#Its not even because i want to like i feel like there are worms in my brain. I feel like ratatoullie if the rat was evil#This is not what the stonewall riots were for#I feel like so nausous why couldnt i be crazy about an actual gay pairing like a normal gay person. Im gonna throwup#Why couldnt i like music and girls#Its not even that house md is objectively logically better than these shows like no. Im just crazy#Im so sick they make me so sick i feel like there are worms in my head. My head#Dont know when i will ever be onorlmal again. Sorr
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fleouriarts · 8 months
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feeling bad about my art lately. will probably not post for a while. but i wanted to at least dump some stuff here before i retreat into my hidey hole
#hivemind tv#hmfcu#riley savage#graydon weaver#quadeca#jane remover#eden burke#my art#2023#fanart#doodles#furry#its like. augh. longtime fleouriarts followers are familiar with my eternal tango with posting art online#doing this since i was 11 has like rotted my brain and made me rely wayyyy too much on external validation to motivate myself#and every year or so it gets bad enough that i take a break. but the break usually only lasts a month before i miss the feeling#and come back and then the cycle repeats#its probably worse now bc this is a fandom where getting seen by the creators is not really that hard#so there have been times where im like 'well idk if i wanna draw this. but if i do maybe hivemind will rt it :-)'#NO!!! THATS NOT WHAT ART IS ABOUT!!!!! i cant keep letting myself get addicted to the numbers going up man i gotta get out of here#and i was reading a quad interview from around when idmthy got released. cus hes also brain poisoned like this. but he managed to get out#and now just kinda comes online to release music and then leave#i need to be like that. i need to take a break from art posting thats so long that i come back as a changed man odysseus style#idk. its been so long since i drew stuff that no one gets to see but me. all the art i keep to myself is just out of embarrassment#i need to relearn how to draw stuff just for the love of creation and not “maybe people online will like this one”#or “this new thing came out i need to prove my love of it by drawing it”#sometimes it leads to good art but more often than not it just makes me feel worse#whatever. if any of yall are in the hivemind jane or quadeca discord i MIGHT still post stuff there. but otherwise ill keep to myself and m#friends for a while i think#woooooo this is queued to post while im in orgo lab everyone wish me luck with my thin layer chromatography
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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neverevan · 7 months
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Inspiration Saturday 🎄
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Aaand this would be the aforementioned second christmas fic; the rough draft is already done and it's just over 2k so I expect it to total out somewhere around 3-4k. Anyway, please enjoy this tiny snippet:
Buck sat in the waiting room, his eyes vacantly following the line of fairy lights running under the edge of the reception desk. They flickered every now and again.
Well, not just every now and again, but every thirteen seconds. Buck counted it out 67 times already.
He just started again, but he only got to six when he heard the voice he was waiting to hear for nearly 15 minutes now.
tags under the cut 💛
I was tagged by the lovely @daffi-990 @thewolvesof1998 @watchyourbuck @disasterbuckdiaz @giddyupbuck thank you my dears and for all the bunch of people tagging me for FIF too mwuah 💛
✨no pressure tagging: @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @jesuisici33 @jeeyuns @ladydorian05 @steadfastsaturnsrings @eowon @heartshapedvows @nmcggg @rainbow-nerdss @jamespearce9-1-1 @evanbegins @eddiebabygirldiaz @theotherbuckley
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mcyt · 5 months
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i had a long winding post i was going to make that was semi-related to that last rb because it was a point i tried (and i feel like i kind of failed in getting across clearly) to make in my own post irt the cat poll and hermitblrs general attitude but i'm not really sure how to phrase it and i don't think there's anything i could say that a) provides some kind of solution or b) aren't points already made by other people. maybe i'll try to later
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pleasantmsp · 8 months
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I love Beauyasha so much. I miss them so much.
The reunion gave me so much joy and now I'm in this weird happy but melancholy state. I love the Nein so much and I want more of them. And I especially want more of Beau and Yasha. If we get a Fjorester wedding one shot, I will be stoked. But then also give me the Beauyasha wedding too!
I'm really just hoping they keep doing these little reunions cause I love the Mighty Nein so much and seeing them makes me so happy.
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swiftmitsu · 3 months
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have a blog summary.
That one person who owns a au with lots of asks on their main, and there au blog, but never answers them because they're to busy with simping, bullying, drawing, or doing anything.
Mostly simping for Killer though.
But uno reverse the question. How would you summarize my blog?
okay wait, AU BLOG?!
do you mean like, a separate one…?! because i don’t have one 💀 EVERYTHING is on my main for now 💀💀
ALSO HEY. YOURE ONE TO TALK. SHATTERED SIMP. /lh
but yeah pretty accurate…… i try to answer as many asks as i can but adhd-like brain go brrr💥
your blog….
honestly it’s either you rejecting Killer, simping for Shattered, being the #1 Shattered Simp, or just being an overall friendly version of Dust :3
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szappan · 2 months
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university.. university leave me alone
#heres the situation: for my cognitive literary studies class (quite fun) we had to pick primary material and a cognitive angle to analyse it#from. and the deadline was coming up and i who have been thinking very intensely about robots for the last half a year picked#yeah you guessed it. fucking PIERS PLOWMAN. which is not fun for me but i panicked about the deadline#so now i have to do something about piers plowman and its cognitive literary properties#and im in hell this is hell i have been extremely stressed about piers plowman for a month. to the point where ive been in physical pain#AND I CANNOT. THINK OF ANYTHING. ABOUT PIERS PLOWMAN.#and the teacher for that class is so nice and chill and she was like you can pick anything at all. and i went with piers plowman#like it's interesting but from what COGNITIVE angle can i approach piers plowman.#ive been thinking about saying exactly this that piers plowman is more for historical linguists and theologists than narratologists but im#also positive plenty of scholars read piers plowman for the plot#so then i thought about the characters and whether you can Connect with them and whether they help you Immerse yourself in the story and#other terminology i learned in cognitive literary studies class.#theyre allegorical and very 1 dimensional and there could be something about whether we from 2024 understand them in the same way#people from the 14th century did. like this was what i put in my proposal when i made it#but now i actually have to make the slides and use cognitive literary papers for this and it's just not going at all. i cant do it.#i cant do anything i cant enjoy the daylight and the warmer weather i cant think about anything other than im not making progress on this#and it's bad for me!! it's bad for my health i feel bad. why did i go with piers plowman why did i not pick watership down#my post#i have plenty to say about watership downm cognitively.#also about old possums book of practical cats#maybe i could email her and tell her id like to change it.. no#ive also been reading the tombs of atuan which is incredible
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martyrbat · 10 months
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batman: son of the demon
[ID: three panels of Bruce Wayne and Talia al Ghul being in love (and horny) for each other. In the first one, Bruce is in their luxurious bedroom for the first time and is awkwardly standing in his costume as Talia is behind a dressing screen and is changing into a white, satin négligée with lace detailing on it. She reminds him that they technically are married (and that she consented readily to it) but Bruce confesses, “I remember. But it's hard for me to consider that marriage real.” Talia emerges from behind the screen, looking as beautiful as ever as she walks up to him and eases his cowl off. She tells him, “Beloved, you give too much thought to what is ‘real,’ and what is not, to what is ‘true,’ and what is ‘false...’ I realize that is your way, but just this once, accept things as they are...” He strips himself of his clothes as they move to the bed—Talia laying on her back as he's between her legs. She continues to speak, “Forego your control, your discipline... just once, let yourself go... and take me with you.” Her arms slip around his neck as they kiss passionately.
The second panel is lineart of them against a white background. They look at each other lovingly, her hands reaching up to be on his shoulders as he holds her waist. The narration boxes read: ‘While still finding time to be a newlywed, a role in which he is quite unskilled... but—to his delight—quickly learns.’
In the third panel, several weeks have past. Bruce and Ra's al Ghul are walking before Talia interrupts and asks her beloved for a word. Bruce starts to ask if it can wait, due to him and Ra's discussing an important mission but she tells him it cannot. Ra's reassures, “Go, detective, we shall speak of this later.” Bruce and Talia pull away to talk in private, the background a beautiful, bright ombré of red and yellows. She has her arms up on his shoulders as he holds her waist and starts to ask, “Now, Talia, what's so impor—” but she quickly shares, “Beloved, I am with child.” Bruce starts to repeat her but Talia already confirms again, “I am pregnant.” She continues to look up at him, patiently waiting for his response as Bruce stares straight ahead, obviously in shock. He slowly repeats the words back to her in an attempt to register them, “You're... pregnant?” Before he suddenly beams! He pulls her into a tight, close embrace as he excitedly announces, “That's wonderful!” Talia smiles at him and says, “Isn't it?” Before her father can shake Bruce's hand with his own warm smile. Bruce still holds Talia's hand as Ra's tells him, “Detective, Dr. Weltmann could not keep this from me. My congratulations.” END ID]
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