#and Not being dream stans but the whole thing just kind of boiled down to . pretty much the exact same thing already stated there

[mcyt]

i had a long winding post i was going to make that was semi-related to that last rb because it was a point i tried (and i feel like i kind of failed in getting across clearly) to make in my own post irt the cat poll and hermitblrs general attitude but i'm not really sure how to phrase it and i don't think there's anything i could say that a) provides some kind of solution or b) aren't points already made by other people. maybe i'll try to later

[twistedmusings]

Vil Schoenheit: After VDC Results

“I’m going to ask again, Prefect.”

“Are you going to walk me out?” 

A/N: Only thing I learned from this Chapter is to not trust a Stan kids, because they will ruin the even for the rest of us. 

Needless to say I have now officially began to simp for Vil, happy to find myself among you, Vil stans. 

If you haven’t read part one, here it is! 

Warnings: Chapter 5 spoilers, Lime soda (implied sexy times!) and de-stressing makeout session for Vil.

Vil had almost tried to kill someone today. 

It seemed strange to say, since it was somebody’s life at stake, but he had come to terms that he had shown everybody in his team a side of himself he hoped they would never see. 

He had shown you a side of himself he hoped you would never see. 

After the ‘incident’, you two had barely talked. You weren’t necessarily avoiding him and he wasn’t avoiding you either. There were just a few moments before the VDC officially started and despite the pain in his body telling him to at least sit down, the need to make it to the end of the stage triumphed as he gave it his all out there. 

Blood, sweat and tears. He had shed them all with no regrets. 

So as he stood there, confetti raining down as the people cheered in the grand coliseum for Neige’s song and not his, he was slowly coming to terms with another realization. 

That he wouldn’t let Rook participate in anything he ever did again…ever. 

Two years. Two YEARS he had known this mysterious man and yet there was NOTHING that had tipped him off to Rook being a fan of Neige. Oh no, not just a fan. 

An extremely devoted fan. 

“...Roi de Neige...it really is such an honor!” 

Neige’s laugh was still like metal against a chalkboard to Vil’s ears, smiling as he held Rook’s hand as the other waxed poetic about his performance. He had to turn away, tears still pricking at the corners of his eyes as he wiped them away with Rook’s handkerchief. His life was just one ironic twist after another, wasn’t it? And how frustrating, to be so close to standing first and to be betrayed by someone who he thought he could trust--! 

“Stand proud and say that you are the fairest of them all, Vil! And I am sure that even the Magic Mirror wouldn’t be able to deny it!”

He chuckles as the fanfare continues, looking down at the offending piece of cloth before shaking his head and going over to his friend, handing him back the handkerchief. 

“Go on, wipe your tears. It is your handkerchief after all.” 

Rook’s surprised face was a sight for sore eyes as he dried his tears. “Thank you, Roi de Poison.” 

“Hehe~ There is Vi-kun’s usual smile~!” 

Enjoy it while it lasts, bastard. The moment we get back to Pomefiore you are going to regret not drinking that juice and melting from the inside out because I am going to make you WISH that you were nothing but a puddle of boiling goop after I am done with you, you son of a bit--

“Vil-senpai!” 

His head turns around slowly, watching you run towards the stage before flashing your staff pass at the bodyguards trying to stop you, just like how he taught you. He clears his throat as he straightens himself out, turning his whole body towards you as the stadium quiets down around him. 

Or maybe he was just paying attention to your voice only. 

“One vote.” you give him a forced smile, “Just by one vote, huh?” 

Vil points a thumb at Rook, “The guilty party is over there.” 

You peek behind him, eyebrows shooting up when you see your other upperclassman holding the hand of the team’s supposed rival and silently crying. 

“...that...the VDC really is full of surprises…” 

You both look at each other before smiling as you share a giggle, your hand going to Vil’s arm and giving it a soft squeeze before letting go.

He doesn’t want to think about what he would have done if you had been the one deciding vote. For a brief moment while the announcement was being made he thought that you had been that person, the one person he wished to curse and hate. Vil tried to imagine it, imagine directing all his anger towards you and promising you that every single day you remained at Night Raven College would be hell because of what you had taken from him. 

Would he have gone through with it? Who knows? 

Vil is a lot more relieved about the fact that you placed your trust in the team he had created and voted for him. 

“How annoying.” 

“Truly.” 

“There goes our heater money.” 

“I agree--what?” 

You turn to him, smiling as you gesture down to the hiccuping Grimm in your arms. He had tired himself out from crying and the headache that followed after had kept him glued to your arms. 

“I know he said that he was going to buy tuna with the money we would have gotten but I was thinking of buying a heater for Ramshackle.” you pout, “You guys were all complaining about how cold it was before using magic to make the entire dorm room cold proof. For a brief moment my dream of having heated floors came true.” 

Vil catches you staring at Neige, your stare not one of admiration but of clear frustration and annoyance. 

“And it wasn’t like his song was that good. It was catchy. Catchy turns straight up annoying in a few days. Watch people complain about how they wish it wasn’t stuck in their heads all the time, I give it a week.” 

Maybe it was the strong emotions he was feeling right now, or the fact that he had come to terms with another set of emotions that were directed towards you a long time ago but Vil immediately grabs your hand and holds it close to his heart, your eyes turning to look at him as he stares at you with fierce intensity. 

He wanted you to feel it. Could you feel how fast his heart was beating? 

“Potato, no, Prefect--” 

Your eyes widened, it was the first time he had referred you with that title. 

“I want you to know that I--” 

“Vi-kun!” 

The Pomefiore dorm leader can feel the vein in his head beginning to throb as he hears his rival’s voice, the Royal Sword Academy student smiling as he came up to him and grabbed his hand. 

“Let’s sing together! If we all sing together I’m sure it would be a lot more fun!” 

Neige smiles as he grabs Vil’s hand, quickly interlocking their fingers together as the other complains about the distance. His eyes meet yours before he grins and gives you a peace sign. 

“I’m going to steal him away real quick, I hope you don’t mind!” 

“Neige!” 

You blink before smiling as you wave goodbye, hugging Grimm close to you as you watch Vil be dragged away by Neige to the center of the stage. The small familiar in your arms groans as he hears the music start up again. “Not agaaaaain. Make it stoooop. My tunaaaaaaa!” 

With a giggle, you scratch the top of his head as he buries his face in the crook of your arm. 

“Go back to sleep, Grimmy. Let’s go back home.” 

The music blares behind you as you hum along to the song, bobbing your head to the beat as Vil’s voice comes through loud and clear despite the cheers and the fanfare. 

“See you guys again!” 

You smile and hug Grimm close, walking towards the exit of the Coliseum.

What a bummer. Guess you couldn’t work up the courage to tell him after all.  

--------

“You guys got everything?” 

“Ah wait!” Kalim rushes back into Ramshackle as Jalim pinches the bridge of his nose, “I forgot Vil’s face stuff!” 

You smile at Jalim, “You always seem to have your hands full.” 

“Isn’t that an understatement.” he smiles, “Are you that eager to get us out of here, Prefect?” 

“Not at all. I’ll be really lonely once you guys leave.” 

Jalim stares at you before looking back at the Ramshackle door, his actions making you laugh as you pat his back and head inside. Guy wasn’t used to people being that honest, was he? You smile when Kalim meets you at the bottom of the stairs, hugging you close and saying quick goodbyes as Jamil called out to him for the second time. 

“There they go…” 

You whistle a low tune as you head upstairs, letting out a huge sigh as you flop down on your bed.

It was the most perfect opportunity...and you blew it. 

Vil had been living with you for almost a whole MONTH and you only managed to have a decent conversation with him maybe three times. And you weren’t going to count that awkward moment you two shared that night. 

Probably the reason he didn’t talk to you at all after that! 

He had been concentrating so hard to win this competition and all you needed to do was just give him some good words of support, not go off about how you thought he was the ‘fairest’ in all of the school! What kind of STUPID confession was that! You wanted to be smooth about it and maybe ask him if he wanted to come with you to the Monstro Lounge after all of this was over. 

At least you had gotten some decent words through. It had been inspiring to watch him work. You didn’t really have an opinion on him when you two first met but watching him put his everything into this one competition made you want to put everything into finding a way back home. 

And like always, feelings of admirations grew to something else. 

Something annoying and unnecessary. 

Vil probably saw right through you, the way you would wake up early to catch him humming in the showers as you brushed your teeth. No, he probably caught on when you complimented every single meal he made when it was his turn to cook. Or maybe he caught on when you straight up admitted that you thought he was the most beautiful person on campus. 

You laugh as you sling your arm over your eyes. 

“I’m so messy.” 

A knock on your door bolts you up from your bed. You knew it wasn’t Grimm since he had taken dibs on the bath first and was probably enjoying the hot water you wish you could enjoy as well. Amethyst eyes meet yours as Vil stares at you, bag on the floor by his side as you two stare each other down.  

“...should I just leave?” 

“No!” you immediately get up and walk over to him, “Let me walk you out. It is the duty of a Prefect to see all the guests out, after all~” 

“You only have one other member living in your dorm, potato.” 

“Doesn’t mean I should ignore the title given to me. That’s what Riddle taught me.” 

You make a move to walk out into the hallway but his arm stops you, blocking your way as your eyes look into the deep purple linen. It must be really soft to touch-- “Oi.” 

Whoops, lost in thought again. 

“You say something?” 

Vil sighs and you were expecting the usual disappointed look but your heart nearly beat out of your chest when you saw him smile, your hands clenching into tight fists as you step back two steps. 

“You were talking about responsibilities of a dorm leader, so I’m doing my responsibility as well. I’m thanking you.” 

“Ha! Vil-senpai you shouldn’t be thanking me, it was the Headmaster’s decision after all.” 

Even then he shouldn’t be thanking you, if anything you should be thanking him. 

“So you’re just going to refuse my gratitude?” his fingers brush away some strands of your hair, “Did Riddle only teach you one thing?” 

You try to count by 5’s in your head as your face heats up, how were you still standing up? 

“Sorry. You’re right.” you take a deep breathe, “You’re welcome. I’m glad my dorm could be of some service.” 

It was a good idea to leave out the ‘to you’, it would probably creep him out. 

Silence hung heavy in the room as the two of you heard the clock tick away at the minutes, Vil’s arm still blocking your exit to the hallway. 

“Uhm...Vil-senpai?” 

“I want to have no regrets for this VDC, potato. As frustrating as it is...I gave it my all and I lost.” 

You open your mouth to try and console him but he stops you with just a stare. “But I have no regrets on how I approached this. The method was perfect and the song was perfect. I even managed to shape some rough looking potatoes into decent enough students.” 

He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and picking his words carefully. 

“But I intend to leave this experience with no regrets whatsoever. Both on and off the stage.” 

You tilt your head, “As in?” 

The ticking of the clock stops for a moment as your chin is tilted upwards, starts up again when you feel a hand on your cheek pull you close and stops entirely when a pair of lips press against your own. 

Your arms hang uselessly at your sides as Vil kisses you, his lips unmoving while the hand holding your cheek slithers all the way down to your waist. A shiver runs all the way from the soles of your feet to the top of your head, the sudden rush of warmth making you pull away. 

Yet he selfishly clung to you. 

“Are you going to walk me out, Prefect?” 

The answer is quick as you wrap your arms around his neck, quickly pulling him down for another kiss. His heels click harshly against the wooden flooring as you two walk backwards and fall on your bed, the purple linen you had admired earlier now caressing your arms as you pull away for a quick breather. 

“Vil--” 

He takes advantage of your open mouth, tongue pushing inside and pressing against yours as he pulls your arms away from his neck and pins them to the bedding. You want to keep your eyes open, want to see Vil in ways you hoped nobody else had seen before. The circlet on his head probably disheveled from the rough tumble you two had, the eyeliner pressed so neatly against his eyelid, the way his fingers so delicately kept you from moving as his thumb caressed your wrist. 

You can’t help but whine as he pulls away, trying to follow his lips but being kept in place by those hands on his. Vil watches you take deep gulps of air, his hands squeezing your wrists to keep you in place before moving away to  take off the circle on top of his head as he laid it gingerly on the pillow next to your head. 

“I’m going to ask again, Prefect.” 

Vil presses a kiss to your eyelid, moving down to your cheek and finally your chin as his fingers toy with the first button of your pajama shirt. 

“Are you going to walk me out?” 

He smiles when you hold out your arms open for him, your eyes begging him to not leave you alone. 

Tongues meet before lips as Vil shrugs off his robe and makes himself comfortable in your arms, grabbing his magic pen and flicking his wrist in order to shut the door to your room and locking it. 

Obviously he would have to leave before the raccoon was done with his bath, but he was intending to finish this VDC with no regrets. 

So the little furball could wait. 

--------

Omake: 

“Oi!!! Why did you lock the door!” 

“Grimm don’t come in here!” 

“Hah? You know this is my room too!” 

“I know but right now I’m-ah!-busy! I’m busy!” 

“With what--!” 

“Grimm I’m just busy! Ace left a bunch of his snacks down in the kitchen! I’ll let you take dibs on whatever you want!” 

“....no take backsies?” 

“No--oh Great Sevens--no take backsies!” 

“Fgnaa! I’ll dig in then~!” 

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About "Yesterday's Lie" from The Owl House

Salutations, random people on the internet who absolutely won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!

Here it is! The midseason finale of The Owl House Season Two! An episode featuring Luz going back to the human realm, is hyped up to heaven about how painful it'll be for the audience, and features more anxiety by how Creepy Luz is a thing. And BOOOOOOOOY howdy were fans not ready for this. I'm sure as hell not ready for when I wrote this intro at *checks time* thirty minutes before watching the official premier. Yup, the words you're reading right now are from me in the past, when everything was still pure and simple. Whereas future me is still probably destroyed by the events that transpired. Isn't that right, future me?

Future Me: Actually, it wasn’t that bad. The ending hurt, sure, but other than that, it wasn’t too painful.

Wow, that is some neat input! At least, I think it was. I wouldn't know because I literally wrote that after watching the episode. With the words you're currently reading being written at *checks time* twenty-six minutes before the premier...this whole intro is confusing, isn't it, future me?

Future Me: Sure is.

Yeah, it's definitely confusing. In any case, let's dive into this spoiler-filled review as we find out together just how painful this episode was! Take it away, future me!

Future Me: Will do! Major spoilers ahead, folks!

Now, let’s review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Luz’s Room: We only see it for a short time, but everything about it just screams Luz. The pile of weird-looking stuffed animals, the witch hat in the center of the floor, and the fact that she has bunk beds, a single child's dream (Or so I've heard). It's a small thing, but I love it.

Vee: Here she is! The character previously dubbed Creepy Luz who now turns out to be yet another new addition to the ever-growing list of characters that we, as a fandom, would give our lives for. Because holy s**t was Vee the best type of expectation subversion. Showing us all the ominous ways of how she basically took Luz's place made fans assume that Vee was an evil doppelganger. Turns out, she was just a tortured soul that was desperate to live a new and better life and lucked out in finding Luz's. What Vee does is...questionable at best, but seeing what she went through with the experiments Belos pulled on her, you understand why she would do it. And I personally love it's that same background information that makes Vee resentful of Luz of all people. Luz's life is a relative dream come true, and running away from that would be insane to someone who spent most of their existence through imprisonment and experimentation. It's an intriguing point of view, even though it's admittingly flawed given how it's mostly Camila that seemingly made Luz's life bearable. But the flaws don't matter. What matters is that you can see where Vee is coming from, and to me, personally, I think she's understandable enough to make me root for her to have some kind of happy ending. Whether as Luz or as herself, I'm hopeful to see Vee get some semblance of peace.

Camila: *Round of applause* Don't mind me! Just taking the time to love how all them sons of b**hes who thought Camila was a bad mom are now heavily invalidated. 'Cause, guess what? Camila is a fantastic mother, both to her daughter and her daughter's doppelganger! Allow me to walk you through the highlights:

How Camila looks like she’s not okay with the fact that "Luz" is clearing out her weird stuff, seemingly acting too different to the Luz she knows. Added to the fact that Camila doesn't like it.

How Camila drove Luz to camp whether than letting her take the bus

The fact that Camila takes that box of junk back in, not willing to part with the tin foil sculpture Luz made.

The way she was willing to play along with the game she thought Luz was doing, supporting her daughter's creative mind that Camila admits to being glad to see.

And, best of all, the willingness Camila had to help this poor creature, despite the lies it lived.

It's that last part I really want to touch upon, though. Because an action like that shows just how much Luz's heart comes from Camila. The kindness and generosity of helping this poor creature, who she has every right to run out on, proves how Luz learned to be everything she is today through Camila's own loving heart. Vee was scared and hurt, and the second Camila saw that she was then more than willing to help because of it. It's something that Luz would do, and it proves that even though Camila didn't exactly get everything right, she's still a great mom where it counts.

“A new life”: A perfect line.

Initially, it makes audiences think that it has everything to do with replacing Luz. It's only through future context that we know it's about escaping the s**t show Vee once lived through that it's clear she's talking about starting over. It hits us with intrigue on the first viewing, only to hit harder with the feels during a second. Really well-done.

Luz in the Mirror: A well-done surprise that makes fans curious about how this even happen in the first place. Kudos to you, writers.

The New Portal: I don't mind that they found a way to build this off-screen. Showing Luz and the gang slowly building a new portal would have been a little too tedious to watch, and it's so much better to just start this episode out with it. Besides, maybe we'll get the slow and steadier version now that we've seen how quickly building one might not have been the best way to go, given how fast that thing fell apart.

Luz Between Dimensions: I have no clue what the hell that place she was in is called, but it's awesome! The overall design of the realm is the correct type of unsettling, like it's oozing with mystery, but it's somewhere that you probably don't want to be in for too long. Whoever designed it deserves all of the credit because I don't want to even think about all the hard work that went into making this look as well-made as it was.

Luz Resisting to See Amity: What? Luz and Amity are adorable, and seeing Luz's immediate thought about seeing Amity makes my shipping heart scream with glee. Don't judge me!

Hiding Luz’s Dad’s Face: Well, that was a fun story while it lasted.

So, it turns out that Luz's dad really was a part of Luz's and Camila's life at some point, but not anymore. As for why remains to be seen, as we don't really know yet if we'll see him make an appearance. I'd say that the odds are high that he will, given how much of a point this episode made about keeping his face hidden. Shows don't usually do that unless the goal is to hype up some official reveal, and I can't wait to see what comes of it.

Luz Telling Herself to Count to Five: Hey, more evidence for how I relate to Luz! I know how it feels to be all panicky about a specific situation, and I only got better when I took the time to calm down for a bit. Sometimes, I even tried the "count to x" method that Luz used...it never worked, primarily because it made me feel worse when people told me to do it, but I still tried it! Plus, there's also some narrative foreshadowing when after Luz says five, the realm shows her Vee, or Number V, which is a pretty cool detail you'll notice on a rewatch.

Luz Helping Vee: I gave Camila praise for helping Vee in the end, but that doesn't abstain Luz from her own set of recognition. The second that Luz realized that Vee wasn't really a threat and is far from evil, our favorite human does what she can to help and even makes a deal where they're both happy. Because, of course, Luz is that perfect of a protagonist who is more than willing to help others in need. And it's why we love her so.

Looking for Magic that Eda Left Behind: A pretty cool idea that gives Luz and Vee a chance to bond and giving us an insight into Eda's past antics and misadventures in the human realm. Not much I can add to it, though.

Gravesfield: It's surprisingly not as jarring as I thought it would be to spend an episode in the human realm. I thought for sure, after all that time in the Boiling Isles, there would be something off about walking around a normal environment for a change. Turns out, it's almost easy to get used to. Or, for me, it is.

But I will say that there's this neat use of colors when comparing Gravesfield with the Boiling Isles. In Gravesfield, the coloring looks dulled down and standard, which is a stark contrast to the bright vibrancy of everything we've seen in the Boiling Isles. It's a subtle way of showing how things are different, aside from the major discrepancies we could come to expect. And I think that's why I appreciate it much more.

Eda’s Called Herself Marylynn in the Human Realm: Hang on...hang on...do you mean to tell me that the crack theory about Eda being Stan's ex-wife is actually true?

...

...What even is this show?!

Vee Making Friends with Camp Members: This shows the most apparent difference between Luz and Vee. Where we see Luz is already fearing the many ways that could go wrong with interacting with teens, Vee revealed that she adapted to her situation and had a chance to make friends. The implications of this are worth discussing another time, but for now, I'll say that it's pretty intriguing that we gain this much insight into both Luz and Vee through such a small thing.

Belos Wanting to Learn How Basilisks can Drain Magic: ...Didn't Raine say that Belos was taking away magic? If so, I think we can figure out how he's doing it. The question now is: Why?

Jacob (The Curator Guy): This guy was a riot. At first, Jacob seemed like a threat with the way he trapped Vee and was apparently stocking her, but the second he goes off about his conspiracy theories, it becomes clear what type of character he is. And was it a blast seeing how much of a crackpot this man is. It wasn't cool seeing him wanting to dissect the precious angel that is Vee, but I still chuckle about things like his "Flat Eather's Certificate." So while he's not that much of a threat, he's still fun to watch.

The Owl Beast was in the Human Realm: ...How did that happen? When did it happen? And how the hell did Eda get out of a situation like that?! Who knows, but it's still a shocking piece of news to learn.

Luz Telling Camila the Truth: Hey, she faced her fear after all! Although, the results aren't as pleasant as when Amity faced her fear two weeks ago.

Camila is a Veterinarian: ...One insignificant reveal...managed to destroy so many fanfics. I mean, we probably shouldn't have just assumed Camila was a nurse...but what the f**k else were we supposed to think?! Sorry for seeing the scrubs, and the first thing that came to my mind was "nurse" and not "vet."

By the way, that had to have been intentional, right? There's no way that Dana Terrace didn't think we'd assume Camila was a nurse. She'd had to have put off a reveal like that just to trip up her fans. And if that's the case, then that is a major d**k move...but that's why I mildly respect it.

Two Human Brothers went to the Demon Realm: Turns out we don't have to be in the Boiling Isles to learn more about it. Because now we have more information about how two humans were taken to the Isles with the help of a witch, thus setting up a grander reveal if it turns out that one of the humans was Philip and the witch was Belos. Because if that's true...then there's more of a history between those two than we thought.

Jacob has a Training Wand: This helps me believe that it's highly likely for Jacob to make a return and to have a power boost for when he does. After all, focussing all that attention on the training wand is way too convenient for it not to come up again in the future. Meaning we're most likely going to get more pain from Jacob if he shows up again.

Camila Beats the Crap out of Jacob for Vee: ...Writers, don't make me choose between Camila and Eda on who's the better cartoon mom. I know Eda's technically not a mom...BUT I STILL DON'T WANT TO CHOOSE DAMNIT!

Also, the sandal...just...

Why the f**k does Camila have a sandal in her purse? I don't know. Is it still funny that she does? Most certainly.

Camila and Luz’s Talk in the Rain: Ooooooooh, I was not ready for this...

I wasn't ready for the crying.

I wasn't ready for the hurt in Camila's eyes when she found out Luz chose to stay in the Boiling Isles.

I wasn't ready for Camila asking if Luz hates being with her that much.

I wasn't ready for Luz profusely stating how it was never Camila's fault.

I was not ready for Camila to tell Luz that she'll try to do better.

And I definitely was not ready for Luz to barely have enough time to promise that she'll come back.

This episode wasn't the twenty-two minutes of nonstop angst that I thought it was going to be...but this short scene more than make up for it.

Luz Tries to Stay Strong: Yet another thing she unwittingly learned from Camila. Camila tried to keep a brave face when Vee was with her and Luz, most likely not wanting to tear either of them down in the process. Luz does the same thing here as she avoids talking about the details of what went down in her sort-of journey back home. And seeing her clearly fake smile slowly droop into an uncertain frown, it uh...it definitely tore me up inside.

WHAT I DISLIKED

I want to say it's perfect, but there's one major issue that really bogs this episode down.

Continuity Error in How Vee Replaced Luz: Having Vee take Luz's place the same day Luz appeared in the Isles is a smart idea on paper...if it wasn't for the fact that it's impossible.

Because Eda closed the portal door the second that she saw Luz, meaning that there's no way for Vee to go to the human realm. It's a major plothole that makes no sense, and it might just be the first time ever that this series wasn't so closely knit with its story. Which ends up taking a dive in quality in the process.

IN CONCLUSION

I'd say that "Yesterday's Lie" is an A-. Everything about Luz, Vee, and Camila is incredible, combined into a story that ends in tragedy and uncertainty for the future. That plothole may drag things down a bit, but everything else is handled so well that I'm not lying when I say it's easy to forgive and forget.

(And that's ten episodes in a row without a single stinker. HOW THE F**K DOES THIS SEASON KEEP WINNING?!)

[melzula]

I was wondering if you could write a Fire Lilies blurb where Princess meets Suki again and befriends her, after Zuko and the others return from the Boiling Rock? Suki is so cool!

a/n: I’m a big Suki stan and I’ve been wanting to write about these two for so long!

~ part of the fire lilies series ~

You had to admit you were a bit apprehensive at the idea of Zuko and Sokka’s “fishing trip,” and the thought of anything bad happening to either of them had you worried sick. Knowing those two, there were about a million ways for something to go wrong, and though you did your best to busy yourself with distractions, nothing could quell your anxieties until their long awaited return.

They bring newcomers with them, Hakoda— who greets you cordially and expresses his relief in knowing the Princess is safe and in good hands— and a prisoner by the name of Chit Sang who just seems happy to finally be free. You expect Zuko to try and greet you, attempt to give you a hug and assure you he took good care of Sokka while they were gone, but he doesn’t even spare you a passing glance as he rushes off to his room. In all honesty you’re a bit offended at the action considering his frequent groveling and desperate attempts to earn your forgiveness, but you don’t have time to question it as Sokka pulls you into an extremely tight hug.

“Y/n!” He exclaims. “I was thinking about you the whole time we were gone. I wanna introduce you to someone very special. Princess, meet Suki. Suki, meet Princess y/n of the Southern Water Tribe.”

”Hey, you’re the one who helped us put out those fires on Kyoshi Island,” the girl notes with a smile. “I don’t know what we would have done if it hadn’t been for you.”

“I just wanted to help out in anyway I could,” you reply with a meek smile. “It’s nice to officially meet you.”

“Look at you two,” Sokka sighs happily, slinging both of his arms around the two of you and pulling you in close to his side, “my favorite girls finally meeting.”

“Sokka’s told me so much about you,” you say while removing his arm from you. “I’m so happy to have another girl in the group.”

“Same here,” Suki replies, slinging her own around over your shoulders before guiding you away from Sokka. “I have a feeling we’re going to be great friends.”

~~~

With Azula’s attack on the air temple your group had been forced to relocate to a secondary location, and though there had been a few close calls you made it out okay. But Zuko has seemed awfully close to Katara, and the fact that they’d just departed on their own little trip made you feel... well, you couldn’t quite describe the emotions that were stirring uncomfortably inside of you but they weren’t very pleasant.

“Something on your mind?” Suki asks as she sits herself down beside you.

“I don’t know, I just... feel weird.”

“It’s Zuko, isn’t it?”

“What?! No! Why would I care about him going on a trip alone with Katara!” You splutter incredulously.

“I never mentioned anything about a trip with Katara,” Suki responds with a pointed look causing you to deflate.

“I don’t know,” you finally sigh. “I’m still so angry with him, and one by one everyone in the group seems to forgive him, but I can’t. And I don’t think I will. I’m sure once Katara comes back she’ll be trying to convince me that he’s a ‘good guy now,’ and maybe to her he will be. But I just can’t get over everything he’s put me through.”

“And yeah, I know I chose to run away with him, and I put up with a lot of things I didn’t have to, but at the end of the day he was the one who turned his back on me in Ba Sing Se. I didn’t want to fight him and having to use my own bending against him still haunts me to this day, but I know that if I hadn’t have fought back he would have struck me without hesitation just because Azula asked him to. I used to think Zuko was good, but now? Well, who knows,” you finally finish your rant with a dry laugh, but there are tears in your eyes that Suki tenderly wipes away for you.

“I know you two have a lot of history, and I know something like this isn’t going to be fixed overnight. But I can also see that you’re hurting, y/n, and I don’t think that pain is ever going to go away until you fix this,” Suki comforts gently. “You don’t have to be best friends with him, but maybe talking to him again will be a start.”

“How would I even do that?” You sniffle. “When you guys came back from Boiling Rock he wouldn’t even look at me.”

“But he talked about you the whole time he was there,” she says with a faint smile. “About how strong you were, how powerful, how brave, how kind. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so in love before.”

A few more tears manage to slide down your cheeks as you stare out at the running water before you, a shaky exhale blowing past your lips as you shut your eyes and focus on the flow of the river to ease your troubles. Suki is right there beside you, a gentle arm wrapped around your shoulders as she comforts you to the best of her abilities. You haven’t known each other long, but already you find it so easy to be close to her.

“Thank you for being so kind.”

“It’s the least I can do,” she replies with a gentle smile. “Do you want to maybe practice some bending? It’ll probably keep your mind off of things.”

“I think that would be good,” you sniffle before lifting yourself up off the ground.

“And don’t go easy on me,” Suki teases. “Whatever you throw at me I can handle.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” you grin, but as you move to pull a small steam of water from the river you find that you can’t do it. The element hardly bends to your will, and no matter how hard you try the most you receive in return for your efforts is a barely noticeable wave in the water.

“You alright?” Suki asks with furrowed brows.

“I don’t know...” you murmur quietly. Your muscles are beginning to ache under your efforts, but still the water refuses to budge.

“What is it?”

“I think... I think there’s something wrong with my bending.”

| tags: : @rainteslerrrr @oddment-niwit-blubber-tweak @thebluelcdy @royahllty @the-firebender-girl @coldlilheart @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @knaite-solo @zukh03s @titaniafire @dekahg @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @lozzybowe @izzieserra @melacholy @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @thirstyforsometea @ihaveaproblem98 @brown-eyed-thang @djskfkdkkf @xapham @yeetletzgetitjae @misnmatchedsox |

[soulwillower]

heather • richie tozier

(richie tozier x reader)

[based off the song heather by conan gray]

requested:   OMG I HAVE AN IDEA IDK IF ITS GOOD AND IDK WHY IM TYPING IN ALL CAPS BUT CAN U DO A FIC WHERE LIKE ITS BASED OF YHE SONG HEATHER BY CONAN GRAY WHERE THE READER AND RICH HAVE BEEN BEST FRIENDS FOR SO MANY YEARS AND HAVE FEELINGS FOR EACHOTHER BUT THERE BOTH SO OBLIVIOUS- SO WHEN RICHIE LIKE GETS A GF ONE DAY THE READER JUST WHSKWHDIWHWIW IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT BUT LIKE AT THE END THEY REALIZE THEYRE IN LOVE. SORRY IF ITS TOK SPECIFIC. LOVE U. IM RUNNING OUTTA CHARACTERS 

warnings: swearing, mentions of underage drinking, themes of cheating but no actual cheating, angst, fluff at the end, unedited.

thank u guys so much for being so patient with this fic <3 love u all so much!

[losers + reader are  18+ in this.]

4.4k words

(also, this fic starts with a flashback and idk if i like this style, but lmk if it works) 

♡

the persistent beat thudding in your ears seems to do nothing more than dim your already low mood as you sip on lemonade by yourself in someone's basement bar, sitting on an uncomfortable metal barstool and leaning your head heavy against your chin.

these days, it seemed as though the world was painted in gray.

you look around almost lazily; bev and ben went outside in the snow a couple minutes ago, stan just took a girl upstairs - you're left alone now, because mike and eddie had to study for their exam and bill was feeling under the weather. and richie, as usual, was late.

there's almost twenty other people in the room right now, but you have no desire to speak to any of them. you've been trying to have fun tonight, but you're just having a hard time, feeling distracted and unable to stop thinking about wire framed glasses and a certain bright smile.

your wandering eyes halt your thoughts as a girl in your class - heather perez -  catches your eye from across the room, her hair falling in natural curls that makes you sigh in envy. she smiles and waves at you warmly, gesturing for you to come and sit with her. you swallow and look down into your cup of dreary, graying lemonade as you try not to think about how you look in comparison. she's so fucking pretty. you look back up and shake your head with a friendly smile, faker than a plastic flower, and nod to the bathroom. she shrugs and smiles, turning back around.

she was too sweet, it hurt.

her naturally dark hair, long and wavy, her smooth dark skin, her laugh.... but suddenly, your head snaps back up after recognizing a familiar sight on heather's figure.

-is that richie's sweater?

your heart thumps and churns in the most unsavory way as all the breath leaves your lungs in one swift exhale. you feel sick to your stomach and your hand falls to hit the counter to stabilize yourself, the lemonade sloshing out of the cup slightly. but you pay no mind. heather's wearing richie's sweater...

you know that sweater really well. it's definitely his, and for some reason that makes you want to cry.

you blink and force yourself to suck air into your lungs as you look around quickly, anywhere but at heather perez wearing richie tozier's sweater, with all the stripes and patterns and the rough polyester material. you're not sure why you're so caught off-guard, you knew that heather perez was maybe-kinda-sorta seeing your trashmouth. he'd mentioned it in passing a few times and you've not been able to keep it off your mind as bev and bill whisper to richie about it in the halls or during hangouts when you were laying in stan's lap pretending not to hear it.

it hurts, though. holy hell, does it hurt when richie turns the corner and the typical, 'hey, richie!' choruses through most of the people in the basement - and yet his eyes are just set on her.

it hurts even worse when you make eye contact with him and he smiles at you, nodding in greeting and calling a "hey there, toots!" over the thumping of the noise before turning back towards heather.

your heart thumps erradically as you eye him sliding an arm around her shoulders easily, pulling her into his tall lanky frame,  crushing your chest and deflating your trembling heart. heather's head falls onto richie's shoulder and you shiver, feeling colder than you've felt in so long. the lemonade you force to your lips tasting like stale water as the sight of richie pinching heather's shoulder and thumbing his own sweater on her frame make you feel empty.

even now, weeks later, you remember how it felt. you sip on the boiling tea and immediately burn your tongue, making you swear as you stare out your window, the snow falling around your house in the dark making you feel an odd, empty kind of peace. that fucking sweater.

you haven't talked to richie in almost a week and a half - he got in trouble the night after the party and his parents took his phone away - at eighteen years old, his parents took his phone - so that he could 'spend time with family' (a task that made you chuckle to yourself when bill had explained it to you about twelve days ago).

it's winter break, though, and you've been missing the last piece of your eight-person puzzle the last few times you've hung out with your friends. it feels empty without richie's boisterous shenanigans, snarky looks and goofy comebacks... you feel really embarrassed for missing him so deeply.

tears well up in your eyes as you think again about his damn sweater, the one that heather was wearing, the same one he'd given you not even three weeks prior.

"well look at you." richie says with amusement trickling through his voice like melting icewater through a calm creek.  you spin towards him with a grin eclipsing your face as you shrug around his sweater, pretending not to smell his strong scent and pretending not to feel the immediate comfort it gives you.

"you know, for as dumb as it looks, i kind of like it." you tease, brushing some hair back from your eyes as the sweater sleeves fall back down past your hands. he laughs, eyes not leaving you for a second.

"shit, doll. keep it." he says, sounding serious. it makes you pull a face at him, starting to lift it slightly over your head to return it to its rightful owner.

but he shakes his head, hands gently gripping your arms and halting your motions, subsequently setting your heart on fire. his lips are set in a gentle grin as he shakes his head again. "it looks so much better on you."

it's spoken simply, in such honestly that it makes you blush nearly immediately. in fact, you're so flustered that all you can do is shove him a bit, stuttering out a quiet, "shut up, richie, you- i - okay, whatever."

it makes him chuckle as he takes the soft blow of your hands against his shoulders, deftly running his hands through his curly locks as he shakes his head. "you're adorable, kid."

you're lucky he'd turned around to gripe around on his messy bed for his laptop, because the stupid grin you're sure is painting your face is enough to make you dig your own grave and then hand him the shovel. if only he knew how much you liked him.

you didn't keep the sweater after that night, though. at the time, you'd told him it was because it was putrid; that the colors and patterns were a sin to man and that you'd never be caught dead wearing it out. he laughed the whole time because you had literally worn it to the store with him it with him that same day. but now, you'd give anything for richie to give you that sweater again, to feel that polyester inseam fall against your stomach and your arms and chest, like a huge richie hug (without all the bones and the cologne and the caffeine-pulsing heartbeat - so not a real richie hug, but as close as you could get to the real thing without actually just having it).

god, you like him too much. you rub your face with your palm, the moisture from the tears that had accidentally escaped your eyes smudging against your face. you're tired, almost - it's like an empty, heartbroken exhaustion that sags your shoulders and chokes your throat and makes you zone out for minutes at a time. one thought overwhelms you right now, so as you see a car's headlights shine out your window through the falling snow, you don't even notice it.

you just wish you were heather.

you've tried to hate her. really, you have - you figured maybe, just maybe, if you were able to rant to bev or eddie about how much of a bitch heather is, how she's terrible to richie and how boring she was, maybe you could justify the heartbreak in your chest.

but god, she's so perfect. heather, with her shiny hair, bright smile, her flawless mind and caring heart. she's, as far as you're concerned, an angel. of course richie would choose heather, who wouldn't?

the other day at that party, you'd tried your hardest to ignore your intrusive thoughts, but you can't help feeling like it would all be better if heather didn't exist. and even that thought alone hurts your heart, because you remember the smile on richie's face when he looked at her, swathed in his sweater and floating around the room like a beacon of light.

and you could never, ever in good conscience take that from richie.

you almost laugh at how absurd it is - now you're talking to yourself while you stare out the window, half asleep, dreaming of freckles placed just like constellations and crooked noses, of jawlines that jut out and long, lanky fingers; of loud, chipping laughter and beat up high-tops with cuffed corduroy pants.

"y/n?" a voice behind your door makes you jump a bit, unsettling your already disconcerted bones. you’re imagining him, now? you laugh into your scalding mug for a second, but after a double-take at the doorway you find the angel himself to be standing there with a perplexed look.

"richie, what're you doing here?" you ask, rubbing your eye to make sure no tears are left. he looks troubled. "i knocked, but nobody answered. so..." he says with a shrug, and you ned, tucking a leg under yourself and nodding.

"what are you doing, toots?" he asks, backlit by the hallway light. and then you finally can see what he's wearing, and you almost laugh at your own misery.

but you don’t laugh, your brain short-circuiting as you feel the knife twist further into your abdomen. the stupid fucking sweater.

“-um, nothing. y- did you get that back from heather?” you try to deliver the line as smoothly as possible, but by the look on his face, you did a real shit job at that.

“what?” he asks in an exhale as he shakes snowflakes from his hair and shoulders, closing your door as he walks towards you and falls to sit next to you on your windowsill seat.

“i thought you gave her that sweater.” you say and he raises a brow, “yeah, like two weeks ago.” he says slowly, eyeing you. he adds, “she obviously didn’t need it after that.”

you frown, “did she need it then?” you didnt try to sound bitter at all, but your voice comes with more of a sting than you’d anticipated.

as always, richie meets fire with fire. “it was twenty fuckin’ degrees out, she was wearing a tank top.”

you don’t know what to say so you just stare out the window with a quick huff, crossing your arms. "why does it matter? it's a sweatshirt." he mutters. "i was just being nice to her."

you nod, pain twisting around in your stomach. he's right, it's just a sweater. but he gave it to her, because he likes heather better.

“what’s up with you, kid?” he asks, gentler this time.

“don’t call me kid, richie.” you say sharply, not meeting his eyes. “and there’s nothing up with me.” you know you’re being difficult, but you really don't have the energy to argue with him right now.

it’s quiet again, and the silence is even more awkward. you take another scalding sip of your tea. 

“um, y/n... is this because of heather?” he says after a bit. you feel the tension that the acknowledgment brings as it hits you in the thick, cold air. richie’s tapping a rhythm on his thigh, so you can tell he feels it too.

"richie." you say weakly, your voice coming out too quiet, too obviously broken and exhausted. "i cannot do this. please don't do this right now"

he blinks at you, eyebrows furrowed. "sugar, i'm so lost right now."

you decide to change the subject. "-why'd you come over?" you ask, actually looking at him then immediately regretting it. he looks hurt and confused, like a lost puppy.

"oh. um, i just need to tell you something.it's about heather, too." he sounds anxious, and you roll your eyes, looking down at the tree outside your room as wind blows powdery white mounds off its branches.

“can this just wait until tomorrow?” you whisper. doesn't he get it?

it's quiet and for a moment you believe that he's going to leave it, to not bring up the obvious jealousy brewing in your chest. but he breaks the silence too soon.

"i tried to kiss her." he says and you immediately look towards the door, the most immediate escape possible. 

your breathing gets heavy; if you have to hear this, you know you'll admit your feeling to richie, and you don't want to do that to him. but you have a suspicion that he already knows.

"richie, i'm so, so glad to see you. and that you like heather. really, i am. but- it's not a good time. i'm not- i'm not okay." you say, voice thick as tears well behind your eyes.

richie’s eyes widen almost comically as you make eye contact and his hands immediately find purchase on your arms, his thumbs rubbing in the way that he has done ever since that one foggy summer you spent in the sewers. "y/n/n, what's wrong, sweetheart?" he asks, watching sadly as a tear slips from your cheek. it breaks your heart when he calls you sweetheart, and you shake your head.

you can't tell him the truth - that you love him, so instead, you mumble, "i've missed you. there's a lot going on, and i just really need you."

he looks guilty as he pulls you into a warm hug, one that takes you off guard but that you return gratefully. "you've been too busy spending time with heather and with your parents, and i understand that, i just - you know, i miss you." you say, voice muffled as your cheek is squished into his shoulder. he sighs shakily, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “i know i’ve been with her a lot, i’m sorry sugar.” he mutters. 

it feels like you’re both holding something back from the other. 

"i wish i were heather." you say against his shoulder, knowing richie’s completely unaware of the depth of your statement. but he pulls back and stares at you, an unknown look on his face. you open your mouth to say something, but you're cut off before you can get anything out.

and his lips fall against yours lightly, almost as if they’re ghosts against yours. his presence feels fleeting. 

you barely close your eyes and press closer to him before you snap out of it, jerking backwards with wide eyes.

richie’s eyes fall open too as he looks at you questioningly. your heart is thumping heavy as you shake your head, more shocked than you thought ever possible. “what?” he asks, as if he’s surprised you’re not kissing back.

you give him a sad, broken look. you think you’ll cry as you mutter, "why would you ever kiss me? i'm not - i'm not nearly as pretty as her, i'm just-"richie suddenly looks like he might get sick, his face paler than usual as the steam from your tea dwindles idly between you. he cuts you off. "-why are you - why are you saying all these things y/n/n-”

“heather. you like heather.” you say frantically, trying to remind him so you dont have to live through this fresh faced heartbreak twice as painful if he kisses you again. 

but richie shakes his head, and your confusion skyrockets just as much as your heartbeat."no. a-amy asked her out." he says breathlessly. "-she said yes."

you blink, pulling even further away as it dawns on you. "wait. so... so you only want to see me after the girl you wanted finds someone else?" you ask, watching as the smile gets smacked off of richie's face so quickly you think it may give him whiplash. "wait, no-" he starts, but you shake your head.

“richie, do you understand how hurtful that is?” you say, voice heavy as you try not to let tears fall.

he shakes his head, eyes glossing with tears as he gapes at you, “n-no, y/n-“

“fuck, richie. i know you know about my feelings for you. how could you do this? i’m not heather, i’m reminded that every time i’m in the same room as the two of you. she’s had you completely mesmerized for the last month, you can’t just use me to distract yourself.” you say, your tea completely forgotten as a tear escapes your eye.

he shakes his head, looking at you with an emotion you don’t have the energy to decipher. “leave, richie.” your voice is broken and it shakes as you look away from him.

you’re not sure what you were expecting, but when richie stands up silently you dont even look away from the window. you see him wipe his cheek in your peripheral before he sighs quietly and walks out of your room, shutting the door quietly.

you cry openly as you hear your door shut downstairs, your hands shaking as you cover your face, your shoulders shaking with sobs. you make it under your covers just as you hear a car engine sputter outside, your heart empty and lips still tingling as the feeling of richie’s lips linger on yours. you groan into your pillow and let out another sob, your eyes squeezing in agony as your heart feels like it’s ripping in two.

because even if they’re not together, richie still likes her.

why couldn’t you be heather?

you cry until you’re asleep, your now cold mug of tea resting on the windowsill as your phone charges next to you and snow swirls in the dark sky.

when you wake up the next morning, your headache is nearly blinding. you feel like crying more as you remember last night. you roll over and rub your eyes, unlocking your phone groggily.  

but you check your notifications and your heart immediately stops as you see a missed call from richie at 3:49 in the morning last night, and a voicemail left a minute later.

well, you guess he got his phone back.

your fingers tremble as they hover above the play button, feeling like you may vomit from anxiety - the message he left is two minutes long.

closing your eyes, ready for even more heartbreak, you press play and hold the speaker to your ear.

“um, y/n.” the voicemail starts off, and you’re already tearing up because richie’s voice is full to the brim with anxiety and he’s not using his usual nicknames for you. 

“uh... okay, i- i know it’s four in the morning, and you’re probably asleep - god, i hope you are, and that you’re not ignoring me. not that i dont deserve it, but i just want you to get good rest. uh, a-anyways. fuck,” there’s an awkward pause and you’re holding your breath.

“you know i’m not good with phone calls or voicemails-“ his rambling just adds to your anxious feeling, but you think if you don’t listen to this, your anxiety would eat you alive.

“- fuck, i don’t know how to say this. kind of ironic, i guess, since i’ve been thinking about saying it like every day for probably more than a year- okay, i’m... god, spit it out, trashmouth.” his voice gets thicker and you can hear the emotion as he takes a shallow breath.

“y/n/n, you make my hands shake. i swear, my heart feels like it’s going to backfire and explode when we touch... and it scares me so fucking bad.” you feel your heart halt in your chest, the air leaving your lungs.

you keep the phone pressed tightly to your ear as richie’s recorded voice goes on.

“-fuck, y/n. i’m terrified. sometimes i think.... like, whoever created me... they designed me just to be yours. and... it’s not in the same way i feel about bev, or bill, or eddie-“ his voice breaks as he sniffs on the other end and it dawns on you that he’s crying. “-you’re you. you’re y/n. i tried to like heather as more than just a friend. but...” it’s silent for a second.

“i just kept comparing her to you. i do that with everybody. i think i’m broken. i love you so much that it hurts.” he’s crying enough by now that it’s leaking into his speech; he’s hiccuping, stuttering slightly, his inflection changing as you can almost picture the tears rolling off his thick eyelashes and onto his rosy cheeks.

“-and i can’t sleep right now knowing that i hurt you like this. i can’t believe that i let you think of yourself as lesser than heather in any way-“ he sobs quietly in the recording and takes a stuttering breath. "i can’t believe i put myself before you. i’m such a shitty friend. i should’ve been giving you my stupid fucking sweaters the whole time.” 

tears are pouring out of your eyes as you sit up, ripping the comforter off your legs. you’re pulling on socks and your shoes as you continue to listen to richie’s voicemail.

“i’m sorry that i kissed you, and i’m sorry that i dragged you into this m-mess, that i used heather as an excuse to ignore my feelings for you. i-i love you so fucking much, and i’m just so scared of hurting you. i’m so sorry that i hurt you, y/n.”

you have to see him.

“-and, um, i’m sorry i left this voice message. this is probably the worst way to find this out but i figured that it would be easier for us to ignore if it wasn’t in person- y’know, because you don’t have to respond. just- now you know. that i’m sorry, and that i don’t expect you to forgive me or want to speak to me for a while. i just- i need you to know that you’re so loved, y/n. and that you deserve so much better than me.

“so, um, okay. i’ll let you sleep now. b-bye.” he whispers the end and then the line cuts dead.

you’re left with shaking breath and tears in your eyes as his voice rings in your head. you try to take in what he’s just said, but you think you’re about to pass out.

how can richie love you back?

you brush your teeth almost aggressively as your heart beats erratically in your chest and then you’re suddenly flying down the snowy road towards the tozier’s house.

you realize too late that you look completely awry, hair unbrushed, eyes puffy and swollen, shoes untied as you knock on the front door of richie's house.

went opens the door, richie’s younger sister sat on his hip as he smiles at you, "y/n! long time no see. richie's upstairs in his room."

you smile at him in thanks, too rushed to say anything to him or munch. then you’re all but sprinting up the stairs, only feeling the anxiety as you throw open the door to his bedroom. 

you're relieved that he's laying in his bed, surrounded by pillows and fluffy comforters as he jumps from the noise of your arrival.

when he sits up, neither of you say anything. his eyes are red and rimmed with tears, a heartbreaking sight as his lower lip trembles slightly. you're sure you look the same as you take a step towards his bed, your eyes not leaving each other's for a second.

he looks incredible, still. 

"y/n..." he whispers finally, his eyes wide. "did you get my message?" he says, lips tilting in a stupid, forced smile. his voice holds no humor in it's sad thickness, though, and you sigh as you look down to the carpet.

you shake your head, "can you not joke for a minute, rich?"

he laughs wetly, standing up fully and although he towers at 6'0, he looks so small. "i can try, doll, but then i'll start to cry a lot, and that's just not what anybody wants-"

"richie." you say, effectively ceasing his rambling. it's cold in his room, bright white from the snow outside, and silent. he looks at you with huge eyes and a red nose.

but you don't know what to say. you’ve spent so long wanting to be heather, but now you've found out that richie's loved you this whole time. it hurts, but you can't wait another second being away from richie. 

you launch yourself towards him, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him down to your mouth.

this time, the kiss is warm, unexpected again but much more loving. it's a kiss that tastes like tears and love and trust, and all you can feel is richie as his hands find purchase on your cheek and back, pulling you so close to him that you can feel is rapid heartbeat.

he pulls back to mumble against your lips, "i'm so sorry." you shake your head, pressing another kiss to his and loving the feeling of richie against you finally. "i love you." you say, feeling his grin against your mouth.

"i love you so much." he says, pulling you lightly to fall onto his bed with him and tickling your sides.

you laugh lightly, swatting at his prodding fingers. "please stop crying." he whispers, laying above you with a small smile. you roll your eyes, "you stop crying rich." you retort, and he shakes his head, one of his tears falling onto your cheek. you jump from the feeling and wipe it away, sniffling a gasp and pulling him into a tight hug, his legs tangling with yours.

“i’m sorry.” he mumbles. you cup his cheeks so his lips pucker out and you smile at him, whispering, “i forgive you, rich. i love you.” and then you place a soft kiss to his lips and he kisses you back enthusiastically.  he pulls back and hugs you again, burrowing himself in your neck. 

"i didn't think i'd ever get you." he says, muffled by his face in your shoulder. "thank you for trusting me. i love you so much." he kisses your collarbone lightly and your fingers play through his curls lightly as you smile, eyes closing. you're so tired.

"i love you more, richie."

you fall asleep with richie curled up beside you, his breath light on your chest and arms clutching you against him. you fall asleep with richie’s lips on your neck, his legs entangled with yours. 

you fall asleep contently, knowing that you no longer have to wish you were heather.

tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings​ @stenbrozier​ @simplesammyx​   @brxken-heartsclub​ @clownsloveyou​ @moon-shine-baby​ @daughter-of-the-stars11  @trashedfortozier​ @oceandog13​ @finnskindofwoman  @kait-tozier @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @diorbubs @leighjaenikhowell @cowbellies @deepestofwaters  <33

[prose-for-hire]

The hotter twin

Pairing: Xander Harris x reader

Request: "I didn't kiss you! I swear it wasn't me!"  (maybe when he gets split in two)

Requested by: @sunflower-stan​

A/N: Reader is usually kind of mean to Xander, until he (or someone with his face) kisses them. They never said anything until everything boils over at a Scooby Halloween party. 

You and Cordy were best friends. You had both unfortunately stumbled upon the Scooby gang in high school and became roped into the whole saving the world thing. You had survived graduation and continued to help the others while you balanced college and your social life.

Today was Halloween. You had dressed up, hoping that you could let yourself relax. You were going to a party at Buffy’s house but you knew pretty much any party that happened there ended in some kind of disaster. You were fond of the rest of the Scoobies, although you didn’t often admit or show it.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, making sure your costume was okay. A secret part of you, one you didn’t want to admit to yourself knew you had picked your costume with him in mind. You hoped he would think it was cool. No, you didn’t. Who cares what he thinks? Don’t kid yourself, you definitely do.

You remembered that kiss you had shared as you stared at yourself in the mirror. You closed your eyes, wishing you could feel his lips on yours again.

You had been sat in the Magic box, Giles had given you a job after you had persisted in asking him every week after you graduated. He wasn’t particularly fond of you, your bluntness and sometimes confrontational manner meant he had suspected you weren’t going to give pleasant customer service. 

But, you could be nice to people. You just tried to put up a front especially when you felt vulnerable. That’s why you and Cordy had been such close friends, you understood each other. You missed her, but you had stayed on for college in Sunnydale while she went away to LA.

So, there you were two weeks ago. Sat behind the register on a particularly slow day. Nobody else was in, you had been looking after the store alone. Which showed how far you had come in Giles’ eyes. You were his favourite employee.

“What you need a spell to create a girlfriend? Know a man that did that - well, I say man...” You tailed off, thinking about it. It had given you the creeps. You shrugged, “All you need is a robot and some brains” You offered with a pause for effect, “Oh crap, I forgot, you don’t have any” You said, your usual back and forth with Xander that you had expected. But he didn’t retort. Didn’t make an equal joke at your expense. 

He just moved and lifted the counter so that he could duck under it and join you behind the register. Smiling at you slightly while he observed you closely. He moved with purpose, had a new confidence that you couldn’t deny you were attracted to.

“What do you want, Xander?” You had said, more softly this time. You looked away from his eye contact, feeling vulnerable under his gaze. He was looking at you in a way that made your heart flutter. Your stomach flip.

“You” He whispered, before moving his hand to cup your face. He pulled you towards him, closing the gap as his lip met yours. It was slow, passionate. A revelation. You wrapped an arm around him, trying to become closer to him. Your lips fit together perfectly, your heart was hammering against your chest so violently as if it wanted to break free and merge with his.

He smiled after you both pulled away. He looked proud, satisfied. You had kissed him back. You were speechless, for the first time. He had just turned and left without saying another word.  

When you arrived at the party, it was already in full swing. If there was one thing you had learnt from Cordy, it was to always turn up fashionably late. That way, you weren’t hanging around waiting for the fun to start. The house was decorated really nicely, you knew Willow and Tara probably had something to do with it. The music was really good and everyone seemed to be in a good mood. 

The costumes were really good and you winked at the person that had a sheet over their head with two holes cut out, knowing that it was Dawn. She had been told she could have a sleepover as long as she stayed upstairs during the party. But she had wanted to be grown up and had sneaked downstairs. You had some approving looks on your own costume and you smiled at some of the more attractive people in the crowd. Perhaps you could find a way to take your mind off Xander. Or maybe even make him a little jealous. 

As the night went on, you had been enjoying yourself, becoming more social that you usually would. People might even mistake you for friendly which you didn’t usually allow to happen. You were just trying to enjoy yourself. Take your mind off your feelings for Xander, but somehow you managed to check what he was doing out of the periphery of your eye no matter where he was in the room.

What you didn’t realise was that Xander had been watching you and commenting on the way you had been flirting your way around the party to anyone that would listen. Willow, Tara and Buffy had all made their excuses and found a way to escape his running commentary which is when you had taken your chance to finally walk up to him. You had to say something.

“Xander we need to talk” You hissed. He looked at you, confused. You barely spoke to him without an insult flying his way and he was confused that you had cut out the usual biting comment and wanted to talk to him alone. You just rolled your eyes and getsured for him to follow you into a quiet corner.

“W-what’s goin’ on, Y/n?” Xander had become more and more nervous around you. It had started before the kiss and it was because he really did have a crush on you. What you didn’t realise, was around the time of the kiss that you hadn’t stopped thinking about, there had been a spell that had created a second, more successful Xander. This Xander had kissed you and you hadn’t found out the truth. But it made you more frustrated as Xander acted like he didn’t want to know you (which, in fairness, didn’t help that your attitude could be so biting).

“So, we kissed-” You started, but quickly got cut off.

“W-wha-?! Kissed? I wouldn’t kiss you, I mean, eurgh!” he mock-shuddered for good measure, “I’d get some sort of disease or-” He continued incredulously. He usually said things like this, but it hurt more today. 

“Cut the crap, Harris. I’m talking your tongue, my mouth. Any recollections?” You continued bluntly. It hurt, this constant harshness now. You just wanted his affection. You wanted to be able to trust him with yours.

“I didn’t kiss you! I swear it wasn’t me!” he insisted, waving his hands out in front of him as if to erase the scene before him.

“Oh yeah? Who was it then? Your evil twin?!” You asked sternly. You scowled, getting more upset. At the same time, Xander remembered. There really had been a second him. A second him that did everything that regular him wished he could. Oh crap, he must have kissed you and he didn’t even get to remember it.

“Actually-” He started to explain.

“You big liar, Xander Harris! You know your panties? They’re on fire!”

“I don’t have-”

“Big, massive old lady panties. On fire” You scolded, crossing your arms in a way you must have picked up from Buffy. You were upset. Angry. He had brought up all of these feelings and you were annoyed he was denying everything.

You stared for a moment, he was floundering. His mouth opening and closing. You didn’t need this. You didn’t need him messing with your head. You didn’t need to wait around for someone that probably kissed your for a dare. So, you stormed off. 

“Hey, wait!”

“No, you know what? I should have known! That stupid ‘twin’ was hotter than you anyway!” You shouted, whipping around. 

“Y/n, please!” he pleaded, which was new and it took you off guard, “I mean it, ask anyone!”

“I don’t care anymore, I just want to get drunk and find a real man that I can kiss without any of these stupid childish games you have to play!” You shouted, your voice louder than the music now.

“Then, let’s just start over!” He pointed at you before holding a hand out as if to offer to shake, “I’m Xander and I like you and I want you. I know it’s hard to believe ‘cause of my strong manliness, but it hurts when you cut me off. I get it, I’m average. I have no strength, I’m no vampire and I don’t have any magical powers-”

“You’re not selling yourself here” You said, but he could see the smile spreading on your face.

“-But, I do care about you. I’m jealous of me, the other me, because he got to kiss you. He got to do that and now I can’t ‘cause you hate me again”

“I- I don’t hate you Xander” You admitted as he put his hand back down.

“Yeah? I’m definitely feelin’ the love with the scary shouting in the middle of a Halloween party with everyone we know watching” He said sheepishly as you looked around to see that everyone had stopped what they were doing to watch your exchange. When you stared back they quickly looked away and pretended not to listen in.

You stepped towards him, sliding your hand up his chest and pressing your lips to his. You slid your hand up his neck and weaved your fingers between his short hair and his hands caressed your back. He hesitated at first, but relaxed into the kiss. It was everything he had hoped. Dreamed of. He kissed you with fervour, never wanting the moment to end. 

You eventually both pulled back, breathless. Both feeling your cheeks redden. You didn’t know what to say, you just smiled, avoiding the audience who wasn’t being subtly anymore. All eyes were now on you both.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you, that costume looks good on you” He offered after he got his breath back.

“You know what would look better?” You smiled suggestively and leaned in again, meeting his lips. He had flushed further, but enjoyed you being more honest with him. Showing him that you actually did like him. Maybe you could try it out, this honesty seemed to be worth it after all.

Every kiss was as good as you had remembered it. Maybe even better. His lips were like magic. You spent the rest of the party laughing and dancing and making sure you could lock your lips with his at every opportunity.

[marcilled]

[this is gonna be a big long post about minecraft youtuber drama... press J to scroll past this if you don’t care about that. lol. sorry]

idunno if anybody took my post the other day as me “cancelling dream for cheating in a videogame”, i posted it mostly out of bemusement of the whole situation, and because that video was really well put-together. (context: his 1.16 speedruns were disqualified by the minecraft speedrun.com moderators & there was a video & document explaining why).

I definitely don’t correlate cheating a speedrun w/ ableism, racism, etc etc. I already knew about a lot of nasty shit dream has done, like the video he did with Notch, and how all of his early content was about pewdiepie, just further normalizing those two to his young audience. I’ve always disliked him for those things, which I’ve been aware of pretty much as long as I’ve known of him, and he has never apologized for those things. It’s why whenever I posted about him before (which was... maybe once or twice?), I always say “don’t stan him or anything he sucks”.

I had no idea there was so much more to it honestly. It’s kind of galling seeing the full context now, because whenever I’ve seen any kind of criticism against him, it’s been him presenting it in an apology. I dunno why I wasn’t suspicious of this given what I already knew about him, but the guy seems to be very clever with how he damage controls any sort of possible controversy regarding him. He presents a really heartfelt, honest apology for whatever happened and gives a few cherrypicked examples of things that people said about him and says how wrong he was and how he doesn’t want to alienate his viewers.

The fact that it’s Dream presenting the evidence of his controversies, means that he gets to control how the conversation goes. Instead of a popular “mcyt” stan account getting to control the conversation, pointing out the shit he’s said and done, he addresses it in a livestream, and does not provide the original context. Huh, I wonder why. It’s almost as if he doesn’t want everyone to see that his mistakes are more than just little “oopsies”, it’s him being actively malicious and getting so defensive that he tells off anybody who could possibly disagree with his view of things.

While his actions and words are pretty horrid on their own, I think the thing that has me most concerned about Dream is... He seems pretty fuckin’ good at manipulating peoples’ perception of him.

-----

After the video about his speedruns being cheated came out the other day, he had this to say on twitter (this is his second, “personal” account):

Now, as I said before, cheating in a videogame isn’t at all comparable to racism or ableism. What I’m trying to point out here is his response to any sort of criticism.

The video he’s referring to is this one, published by Geosquare 2 days ago (dec 11th). What’s interesting to note here is how he singles out Geosquare specifically in this tweet. If you click on the video, the first few seconds establishes that it’s a video made by the entire Minecraft java edition speedrunning mod team (which is made up of a team of over a dozen people). The video and document was a true team effort from every single one of them, and it only got posted to Geosquare’s account (& got his narration) because he’s already a youtuber with a pretty comfortable amount of subscribers.

So, instead of pointing his ire (and those of his many, many fans) at the whole speedrun mod team, instead, he points it squarely on Geosquare, so that people have a convenient name to latch onto. He then accuses Geosquare of using his name as “clickbait” in order to get “easy views”, sowing the seed of this idea that Geosquare is doing this in an opportunistic grab for personal gain. If you clicked on the video and saw the description/pinned comment, you’d see that not only did Geosquare disable monetization on the video, he disabled monetization on his entire channel for as long as this drama goes on (and he knew there would be drama, dream made extra sure to threaten the mods with a video of his own in retaliation if they ended up banning him).

Then, in a reply to the first tweet, he says that there are “multiple moderators” messaging him saying the verdict was “biased” and that they may quit the mod team. He provides no evidence for this. However, if you click on the tweet and view any of the thousands of replies from his fans, it doesn’t matter that he gave no evidence, his word is enough. If you’re wondering, Geosquare and a few other mods have stated many times that it was a group decision on their part, and nobody had any question in their mind that Dream must have cheated. So... Dream, who are these “mods” that are messaging you? He won’t say.

Lastly here, I want to point out that in his next tweet on the matter, he makes this very bitter comment about how useless it was for them to investigate a “16th place run”. It’s a minor detail, but I think it’s worth mentioning; this kind of downplays how impressive his run was at the time. At the time he submitted his sub-20 minute speedrun, it was a top 5 run, in a very competitive category of speedrunning the game. In the 2 months since, several people have passed his time using new strats, but that doesn’t diminish the fact it was a pretty amazing “run”... if it weren’t cheated of course. But, I’m just rambling on about how petty I am about him cheating at this point so let me get back to the main point here.

If you see the numbers on these tweets (hundreds of thousands of likes), you’ll understand why this is pretty scary for those speedrun mods. The same day this happened Geosquare joked around “I’ve only gotten one death threat so far!”. Dream’s fanbase is unparalleled in minecraft youtube, and incredibly sizeable for a youtube channel overall. If you’re not familiar with this new wave of “mcyt” minecraft accounts, it’s... it’s pretty much exclusively because of Dream’s fame. He’s the driving force of minecraft youtube content right now. Any youtuber who even breathes near the guy blows up in subscribers & views. His minecraft server, “Dream SMP”, is like... it has a legitimate cultural impact, whether that sentence disgusts you or not. Especially for young gen Z kids.

The point I’m trying to make is, ever since he came onto the scene in early 2019, he’s grown and grown at exponential rates, and I can’t understate the kind of influence he has on not just his own fans, but the fans of like. Pretty much anyone who is plugged in to anything minecraft youtube related right now.

People have discussed this before, but Dream’s sudden rise to fame happened shockingly quick. So quick that it’s almost impossible it were by accident. He’d spent something like a year or two studying how the youtube algorithm works, how famous youtubers grow their popularity, etc. He spent a lot of time studying, and it paid off for him. It makes me wonder if he’s studied how youtubers deal with controversy as well. Because it seems like he’s doing everything right to keep his fans “loyal” to him.

So I think it’s not unreasonable to say that it is pretty goddamn concerning when he reacts to criticism like this. His immense fanbase, who are often worryingly obsessed with him, of mostly impressionable kids... It’s a recipe for disaster, in the hands of someone so entitled and immature.

I think what really has me worried, though, is a video he published to his second channel the other day. Recently, he published a video about his “stans”. The entire video essentially boiled down to him disputing claims that “dream stans” were toxic, or that stanning people or “stan culture” was creepy/unhealthy. He spent a lot of the video comparing stans of content creators to passionate fans of football teams, and expressed repeatedly how he thought it was normal and OK to be totally obsessed with a content creator and engage in “stan culture”, as long as you weren’t being a legitimate stalker. He pretty much only talked about the positives of being a Dream Stan, and how positive the “community” is. The whole video painted this really idealistic image of what it means to be a Stan of a person, and fandom in general.

Now... I don’t know about everyone else reading this, but I found that video to be... incredibly creepy and weird. It completely ignores any actual arguments about how stan culture can be unhealthy, and how engaging so heavily in parasocial relationships can be quite damaging, especially to younger people.

But, mostly? It seemed like the whole video was basically designed just to reinforce the most unhealthy impulses of his stans, and reward them with the positive encouragement that he actually enjoys it when they are obsessed with him so much that they can’t imagine he could ever possibly do anything wrong.

And that? That is fucking dangerous for a person with such a huge fanbase to be peddling to their fans.

Surely, he must know- a great deal of his fans are so obsessed with him, that they think they know him as well as, if not more than, a personal friend. So that when he does something disagreeable and wrong, and he claims “no that’s not how it happened, they’re biased and trying to cancel me because they’re jealous”, they just take that at face value, because why would he lie? He’s so honest and genuine in his videos and livestreams!

This sort of behavior from Dream, along with his tweets I posted earlier, reads to me as if he knows exactly what he’s doing. I think he is purposefully insulating his fans from the truth of his actions, so that he can present this idealistic picture of him in their mind, so that it seems absurd that he would do something wrong.

I think it’s only a matter of time before it comes out he’s done something much worse, honestly. What it is, is hard to say- he’s already done so much that anyone reading this should rescind their support for him, imo. But, I know that none of this matters to his millions of fans. While I worry for them, I also worry for anyone who becomes a target of Dream. I could see this speedrunning drama being the start of a downward spiral for him. Things could get real ugly with all that minecraft clout getting to his head... I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

TL;DR, dream sucks, and not just because he cheats at videogames.

I apologize again for writing a multi paragraph post about a minecraft youtuber. I will not post about this anymore (probably) please do not unfollow me .

[sugar-petals]

Can you, please, do a reading about the reason namjoon always feels underappreciated?

i drew a card and it explains his situation well. it’s THE FOOL, but in reverse.

-interpretation-

namjoon’s circumstances are the following: he is the kind of guy who already feels like he reached the end of the journey. 

he’s advanced. while k-pop is more about a youthful spirit, everything bright and new. in tarot, THE FOOL is a fun and original person who’s a beginner in life, just starting out and fascinating others with that. brimming with ideas and curiosity, like a baby learning to crawl. it’s the first archetype in the tarot deck, after all. every debut group carries that kind of innovative feeling, and that’s why it appeals to fans. think about TXT and NCT Dream stepping on the scene. that caused a huge stir. meanwhile, namjoon is someone who feels like he’s seen and done it all. he had his piece of the cake, he’s completed his youthful dancing and prancing — or, at least, that’s what people see on the surface. namjoon’s playful, very idol-esque side is very much thrown under the bus in favor of emphasizing his responsible and mature qualities. he is totally goofy, but it’s not acknowledged all too often as his public image. his appearance contributes to that, he does not look like a haechan or hyungwon or baekhyun or jimin. his build is non-standard and not what this industry expects to sell, even if he does have many desirable qualities that many people clearly see.

look at the sun on the card, but flip its symbolism upside down: his mood isn’t perfectly bright all the time, he’s not an extrovert, his energy is not endless, he is unafraid to show the unhappy sides of things (see MONO). all that does not perfectly resonate with a lot of people. namjoon is too many steps ahead and nonconforming by default. he doesn’t deliberately act like the literal fool in the circus to get his fans going. he doesn’t want to be that kind of puppet, pretending and joking around. which means he caters to a smaller demographic and he knows it. he wishes he was more recognized for that authenticity, but he knows that the audience looks toward more fun idols to get what they want. and, that he can’t be entitled to get appreciation for being the odd one out. still, he feels left behind but also too high up, too far. namjoon is out of reach and way, way too experienced to play the game of his peers by now. he’s annoyed by naivety, irrationality, carelessness, nuisance, lack of focus, stupidity. he can’t entertain it, he can’t help it. 

what aggravates that is his position in the group. the philosopher-leader and chronically overworked writer. since years. people look up to that, but there is less of an incentive to fawn unless his sexy frame and voice is concerned. namjoon does not incite as much of a childish (FOOL-ish), squeaking response like other artists do. his role is not spontaneous enough. how reflected he is takes the wind out of those sails. he gets very different clout from very selective people, even if his appeal has been getting broader. bts is a seasoned group and namjoon as its central mind embodies that tenfold. even his idealism is laced with a kind of serenity. his prudent ways are extreme. that has people who are in it for the fun like woah, this guy is deep, he makes me think a bit too much there. there is no glaring appeal of innocence to fans in namjoon, that’s what the card communicates. he is underappreciated because he is not carefree and reckless, doesn’t deliberately spark excitement the way you would expect an idol to do it. RM stepping out is like oh shit, here is the intellectual authority. he induces a different awe. not many people are ready to really respect an idol. namjoon commands it effortlessly, when he is present you have to pay heed to it. so, many fans choose to ignore him because they would be forced to recognize an idol’s humanity — the person behind THE FOOL — for once.

in terms of dress, THE FOOL is a gaudy, sexy prankster showing up in a hundred colors at once. but in reverse, that showy quality disappears. namjoon is not an instagram guy. he keeps it simple and practical in his free time. his body is what’s sexy, not the clothes that people want to ogle. he’s the real deal, but others want the mannequin, so he falls short. on stage, the same often happens, his frame can’t get dressed the jimin way, after all. and that is chosen, but it brings with it only the people who see his essence behind the surface. quality stans who want to hear what he says, but fewer. while the rest runs after the more flashy, quirky, sparkly idols. that fans are easily blinded and literally FOOL-ed leaves smart and thoughtful namjoon overlooked. he can stand out with his english and brilliant mind, but it is taken for granted all too often even if a whole group functions on that very base. it’s the person shouldering the most that gets underappreciated until they don’t contribute anymore and people are like ‘oh…’. it all boils down to namjoon’s less easily relatable leading edge mindset and complex intelligence that is hard to digest, few can keep up with that. he’s just not a fool. in short, namjoon is cursed by greatness.

[fl0ating-tree]

Favorite to least favorite c!'s on the dream smp GO! (Them as character's objectively, not their actions, if that makes sense!)

anon kiss me rn this is a perfect excuse to ramble about my opinions and boy do i have opinions.... totally up for rebuttles to these or ppl trying to change my opinions on it i am a literary analysis bitch at heart

hate - technoblade, ranboo (there will be a bounty on my head for this one LOL)

dislike - niki, foolish, punz

don't love or hate - dream, phil, sam, puffy

like - sapnap (i WILL go further into detail for this one if someone wants), jack, tubbo, tommy, fundy

love - wilbur, ghostbur, eret, quackity, schlatt

hate is a strong word but it was used for the sake of the scale lol. but i REALLY dislike techno and ranboo's characters for the same reason of the fact that they feel very mary sue.

techno feels mary sue to me cause just like...nothing bad ever happens to him. i think 90% of my issue with his character would be fixed if he had died as his execution. that entire thing felt so stagnated. the day before dream is like "hey i think youre gonna get executed. heres how to not let that happen." and then the stream after that was "hey im getting executed. thats not gonna happen." like...it was just so unsatisfying because there wasn't a single moment i was concerned for techno considering i watched him get totems the day before and watched him hold one during his execution. he's stuck in the prison but from the way cc!techno was acting it feels like techno doesn't even CARE that he's there, and he has a contingency plan with the syndicate anyways. i didn't even feel bad that he got pulled out of retirement considering it was revealed he was collecting weapons of mass destruction the entire time. the only time i have EVER like his character was early pogtopia when everyone was always like "techno refuses to roleplay" AFSDKFSKG

ranboo feels like a mary sue to me because it's literally just one bad thing happening to him after another without any rhyme or reason. oh no his tears burn him and he has memory loss and he's scared he's doing bad things (did the whole "ranboo secretly has the cat disc" every get brought up again?) and he hears voices. his husband and best friend are moral enemies with his roomies but none of them seem to have an issue with that? just like.....his entire character is internal conflict and everyone loves him. not a fan.

dislike character all boil down to the same thing as well in that i feel like i would LOVE these character if they were executed better.

niki's going from wanting to protect tommy in pogtopia to the next thing i remember of her is her blaming tommy for her trauma. and her villain arc being INCREDIBLY serious but then a joke? niki as a character has a lot of potential but it all just isnt executed well imo, which is why i dislike the character.

foolish being a fun idea but the whole "totem god" thing just falls flat with me.

punz had SO much potential to do something really cool character-wise after the disc finale, but i think that boils down to cc!punz not being a big roleplayer/minecraft streamer, so it makes sense but still feels a little bit like a let down.

for the idc category it's honestly just that personally their character doesn't retain my interest. not that i think there's any major flaw with their character, just not something i care about.

dream i legit just...don't have thoughts about. cool character, but nothing stands out, and he feels a little flip-floppy sometimes. couldn't care less that he's being tortured so i feel like that's a sign that something isn't working right with that plotline.

phil and sam i think i would love their characters if they were exclusivly side characters but with the nature of streaming as the medium for the story there has to be a bit more substance to their characters but i genuinely think i would've liked them if it was just "the warden" and "wilbur's father" rather than their own individual characters. cool characters regardless, just not my personal faves.

puffy i might just not watch her enough but its similar to phil and sam where i think having her just be a therapist wouldve worked better than a fleshed out character. if more puffychu development happens tho, both her and niki will probably rise on this list.

the like characters range from "i think these characters have flaws objectively, but overall are very good!" to just....i am nostalgic for the pet wars.

sapnap i don't have a good reason for liking his character LOL it's mainly because i started watching during the height of the pet wars and i loved watching him during that. but i still just think the concept of his character is so cool and if he did more lore and specifically more stuff with dream, i can see him easily becoming a favorite character of mine.

jack, tubbo, and tommy i think are all very well fleshed out and executed characters. they have goals, flaws, relationships, and all three of the CCs are good actors i feel too. jack REALLY wow'd me over with his manifold hotel arc thing. tommy i think works well as a character because objectively he's kind of a prick but i still want him to win, and i think that's a sign of a well written character.

fundy again is similar to sapnap in that i loved him in the pet wars, but also he has the strongest relationships on the server imo. phil and wilbur stand out the most, but also with the OG l'manbergians and how his relationship with all of them are strained for no apparent reason in this awful "i've grown as a person and can't love you any more" kind of way.

i will fight tooth and nail over the fact that these characters are some of the most well-written and acted on the server genuinely. ESPECIALLY eret. i am a c!eret stan before all else.

ghostbur and eret i absolutely adore because of just how quietly tragic they are. a ghost damned to haunt his failures, and a king damned to try and repent. really REALLY well executed characters, and i pray every day that eret gets the kind of views tommy and wilbur's lore streams do because she is an amazing actor. they are both so tragically well written and executed amazingly, both are great examples of "show not tell" too. ghostbur with the amneisa and eret with their museum and abandoned castle. (only critic for eret is that i wish he stayed dethroned and george stayed king, but i think that was CC error not C error because if i remember right geroge said he wanted out of the lore. tho i think he could've stayed king and still not been involved in lore, but i digress)

wilbur and quackity are all incredibly thought out. you can see a start and a middle, and you can see that there's an ending. i feel like the biggest issue i have with tommy and tubbo is that there just doesn't seem to be an ending for their characters. with wilbur and quackity i can see an ending happening for them. they've got flaws, pros, goals, motivations, ideas. just AMAZING execution and it's cool to see how they're both so well written yet they execute their characters differently. wilbur with very casually imbedded lore that you only realize was lore and foreshadowing until it's too late, and quackity with very in-your-face produced lore streams that make you sit for an hour afterwards and wonder what happened.

schlatt is a good character because of cc!schlatt's AMAZING acting and also because he didn't try to make it some grand thing. schlatt was an alcoholic who abused his workers and was power hungry. he had his goal, and that was it, and cc!schlatt executed that perfectly.

[yibuo]

UMMM I would love to know what exactly happened with xnine too if you know??

i didn’t know how to answer this without hating on long danni but... that’s not possible when you’re talking about xnine

CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG IN ANY WAY @ DIMPLES AND CFANS

tldr ceo addicted to producing survival shows realizes boy group is incapable of feeding her fat rabbit because of her OWN mismanagement and throws them away (literally? probably not, maybe, idk)

HOLY SHIT THIS BECAME RLY LONG IM BEGGING KEEP READING TO WORK LO LOL LOL

long danni= wjjw company ceo

wjjw=company that xnine, xz, r1se, etc are under

huo mala: fat company rabbit that WILL give u nightmares goodness gracious thinking about him sends chills down my spine

alright so long danni (ldn i will refer to her) & ee media along w/ tencent and sm made the survival show x-fire... the premise of xfire was that 16 contestants split into two different teams (white and red) and then at the end it would boil down to each team having 4 members and the winning team would debut as a group called xfire...but wait...the group’s name is xnine? so out of red team (peng chuyue, baishu, xiao zhan, xia zhiguang) and white team(wu jiacheng, gu jiacheng, zhao lei, and guo zifan) white team won...and they unofficially debuted as xfire..went abroad to train yadda yadda yadda and then a few months later, TELL ME WHY LONG DANNI DECIDES TO RELEASE POLLS TO LET FANS VOTE IN 5 MEMBERS INTO XFIRE TO CREATE XNINE! ldn PLEASE if u wanted to rig the show you should’ve decided in the beginning what was the point of making the teams and the fans fight against each other...

so yeah xz and crew weren’t actually supposed to debut according to show rules...i mean i’m glad they debuted obviously bc x9 is x9 but ee media and frickin ldn couldve handled this better...like every member except chen molerat is amazing and great but....WHY DIDNT MaNAGEMENT NOT BLATANTLY RIG THEM INTO THE GROUP

but also thank u ldn for also letting us get to know the 4 guys who were added n not chen molerat <3 but like DO UR JOB PROPERLY

anyway the polls were RIGGED obviously thanks ldn what did u expect out of making POLLS, and xiao zhan, peng chuyue, xia zhiguang, yan xujia, and chen z*** were added to the group to create xnine...talk about rigged when chen z*** the molerat lookin turdface misogynist was added... anyway at the time he wasnt known to be problematic but ya the whole rigging thing caused a whole rift esp when x9 debuted bc there were fanwars and death threats initially but xfire did well because it was one of the (if not only) survival shows at that time and x9 debuted w/ a good response etc

then they got moved to wjjw (still owned by ldn thanks ldn) and wjjw is known for hoarding artists and not promoting them (THEY HAVE LIKE 45 ARTISTS BUT WERE FORMED 3 YEARS AGO MAKE IT MAKE SENSE) and not being promoted properly was EXACTLY what happened to xnine. as idols what they needed was music promotions, variety shows, etc stuff to get them as people out there but this genius ldn decided to promote them through stupid zodiac dramas like super star academy (to promote xfire finalists) and oh my emperor (which was an xnine drama). now i haven’t watched OME, but SSA gave me enough brain rot and gunk for me to not watch OME. (the only person who could act was baishu), and the story was SO BAD. nevermind the acting, because the boys weren’t initially slated to be actors, but the story was horrible, girl without superpowers suddenly becomes white cult goddess at the end??? WHAT???????? why didn’t ldn just promote them normally !!!!!! are they an actor group or an idol group???? I LOVE XNINE, THEY ARE TALENTED ARTISTS !!!! and eventually some went into acting (xz, guo zifan, gu jiacheng) BUT WAS THAT THE TIME DLFNJNF and then they just kept getting sent into random dramas and movies as random side characters instead of being able to make music and promote????? i’m sorry i’ve been stuck on using dramas to promote x9 for a while because that’s such a SILLY IDEA *vigorously shakes head* 

ldn knows how to do survival shows but she doesn’t know how to promote her artists thanks ldn. xnine has so much talented, we know xiao zhan is a great singer, but other main vocalists like wu jiacheng, zhao lei, and peng chuyue are amazing as welll, here’s me plugging this video of zl and pcy performing their self-written song on produce camp because it’s the most beautiful thing ever

-oh yeah somewhere in here insert chen molerat getting outed as a pedo misogynist cheater by his gf who still has the audacity to have xnine in his weibo name because xnine starting to get popular gtfo rat lookin ass i WILL barf, when we say ot8 xnine we mean xnine w/o chen toadratass but sometimes ppl think it’s xnine minus xz which is untrue-

they also have talented rappers (gu jiacheng yan xujia) and dancers (xia zhiguang guo zifan) like xia zhiguang can end me with his spinning flying kick thing and i WILL let him 

so YEAH !! TALENT that went to waste because wjjw gave them weird random hiatuses and kept pushing them as actors??? seriously what is with this actor stuff...so that’s why they debuted in 2016 and have very little discography to their name because wjjw just gave up...trying to promote them GOD thank u so much ldn for ur incomptency <3333 xnine had members in diff stages of life (ranging from xz who was born in 91, to yan xujia born in 2001, they were all close tho soo cute) and wjjw really was like nope we’re not gonna try to promote yall’s dreams of becoming singers on the stage because they couldn’t add 34783473 pounds to fat huo mala’s weight

so ya a lot of people are like omg wjjw hates xiao zhan!!! ya no they hate all of xnine but now xz is bringing enough money to make huo mala even fatter so good for huo mala i guess /s

also rumors and any bad media? lol wjjw doesn’t care they do a shit job at handling bad things too WHAT A WELLROUNDED COMPANY

OH ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW THYE HAD 3 DAYS TO PREPARE FOR A CONCERT???????????? WHAT????????? wjjw u mfs

anyway to summarize my rants above wjjw did  a SHIT job of promoting xnine as idols when the boys worked so hard and wjjw kept tryna push them to acting bye (some of them can’t act and literally don’t WANT TO ACT HHHSFLNF), wjjw is also horrible at letting all of the xnine members shine when as i mentioned before, they’re ALL TALENTED!!!! and then they just gave up on xnine somewhere in 2017-2018... ok anyway so is xnine disbanded? no although some may say their last concert in dec 2018 was their last concert ever they’re not disbanded

xiao zhan , gu jiacheng, and guo zifan went into acting

wu jiachang is focusing on his music etc (he was actually the first member of xnine i came across when i watched the collaboration/cyzj in 2018...yes carats this is That wu jiacheng!!!) MAN CAN SING

peng chuyue, zhao lei, xia zhiguang, yan xujia all went on produce camp 2019 (aNOTHER SURVIVAL SHOW BC THEY WANTED TO BE ON THE MF STAGE BC THATS WHY THEYRE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE WJJW) along w/ fellow labelmates zhou zhennan and zhai xiao wen ... and everyone but peng chuyue made it to the final 11 spots and got to debut in the group r1se...UNFORTUNATELY ALSO UNDER WJJW HELP SEND HELP

if they’re in r1se does that mean they quit xnine? no! they’re in both that’s just how survival shows work it’s kind of weird

peng chuyue recently released a song and it’s really good and you can’t not tell me that it’s gay here it is

anyway xnine hasn’t disbanded!! the X玖少年团 (xnine) in the non-r1se members’ weibo names say that loud n clear!!! and when the r1se members from xnine won produce camp 2019, they all made xnine signs SO XNINE IS ALIVE and they do keep in contact!!

why haven’t we seen blatant public interactions btwen xiao zhan and the xnine members? because some frickin annoying xz solo stans/xfx claim that the other members use xz for popularity (HELLO??????? IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT MAKE SENSE HALF OF THEM R LITERALLY HIS KIDS BUT OK) 

anyway in conclusion wjjw doesn’t know how to promote any of their artists, thus screwing over xnine members and making them go on a group hiatus where they focus on acting/singing/r1se for r1se members but they are very much xnine as of now !!!

here’s some REALLY GOOD RESOURCES to follow xnine bc as an ifan it’s mf hard

-xnine slideshow

-xnine faq

-xnine eng sub channel by yuer

-all of that content i listed above was made/subbed by one person and she is the queen of uhh...xnine international fandom outreach (????) how do i word it but she’s been subbing and spreading xnine long before xiao zhan’s popularity skyrocketed so go follow her for updates and memes here

-xnine intl fanbase twt and tumblr

-and here’s this twt account with dumb pics of xnine because why not

also i’m pretty sure there’s a wip video explaining x9′s history being created (by yuer because queen) so when that’s posted i’ll rb this and post it here

also here’s this video dragging wjjw

[riotfuckery]

I’ll always love you

A/N: Hello beautiful readers! It’s your friendly neighborhood big tiddy goth gf and lowkey weeb here! Today we have my first request from non other then fellow Sero stan and writing senpai @thedreadthread 💖 Thank you for the request and I hope you like it! Y’all really like angst so here we have some angst/comfort to add to my collection! Thank you to my senpais and readers who showed me so much love on my last Sero fic. I hope I can deliver! I’m also working on Shattered hearts and clean shirts pt2 so keep an eye out for that!

Senpai taglist: @trafalgar-temptress @queensynderella @kingtamakimurder @birds-have-teeth Thank you for the support 💖🥺💖Sending lots of love and good vibes to all of you💖💖💖

The romantic tension between Sero and yourself was so thick you could cut it with a knife. The quick glances you shared in class and during training was almost painful to the other teens in your vicinity. You were pining after each other PAINFULLY. But neither of you had the guts to admit it to another.

You were both blind to the others affections and love though. You were the sweetest girl in class 1-A, with a strong quirk and an even greater sense of humor. How could he not fall for you? You were easily the cutest girl in the class, with kind (e/c) eyes and a laugh that made his heart go into overdrive. You were kind and sweet to everyone, even that blonde time bomb that goes by the name of Bakugo. You even had a little patience with that nasty grape rat. He was stunned by your capacity to be sweet.

He was convinced that you didn’t like him, he told himself that he was nothing special only with a plain quirk and plain face. But you couldn’t have disagreed more. His deep onyx eyes soothed you and held so much emotion that you could stare at them for an eternity. The elbows that he hated added to him being so unique. His quirk being useful in hero work and rescue. He was handsome too, his sharp jawline and high cheekbones had you blushing. He wasn’t handsome in a princely way that many girls dreamed of, but in a real life way that made your heart stutter and had your palms sweating a bit.

You were good friends with everyone in the class, but you found your home with the bakusquad. Mostly because that’s where your crush resided most of the time. You loved the squad obviously, Mina being your new sister, Denki being your friend that encouraged your own chaotic behavior, and you even trained with Katsuki a few days out of the week. The love you had for Hanta was different though.

His love started for you when you were just good friends. He heard your laugh from across the classroom one morning and thought it was the most magical sound in the world. The insane cackle that came from your mouth made him break out into a wide grin while his eyes followed where the sound was coming from. He followed it to you. Your eyes scrunched up and your cute cheeks tinted pink from how lard you were laughing. He fell in love at first sight and from then on he made it his job to make you laugh.

It started with sly comments about his other classmates. “I know they call him an angry pomeranian, but the muzzle really seals the deal doesn’t it?” He said casually said to you as the sports festival awarding ceremony was happening. You had bite your lip to keep yourself quiet before you burst out into laughter. He heard the quiet giggles that escaped and he smiled brightly at the sound.

He then started to tell you jokes because the sound of your laughter made his day so much brighter. First it started as a group thing, just telling jokes to the whole squad. Mina had brought you to the group first because the two of you got along so well. He was more than happy to have you there.

“Did you hear about the two psychiatrists who passed each other on a walk? One said to the other, ‘You’re fine, how am I?’” The dark hair boy said amusingly. You laughed, the sound zeroing on his ears among the other squads laughter. The light blush on your face showed up as your eyes crinkled. He blushed himself as he was laughing but didn’t try to rid of it.

Weeks of laughing at his jokes continued and you found yourself gravitating toward the tape master, not just for a laugh but because you thought he was a great person. You hung out in each other’s rooms, watching bad horror movies and laughing at dumb people. Even tutoring him regularly when it came to English.

He was great company to you and you found yourself thinking about him more often. Like how handsome his face was as you took quick glances at him during class or how he was such a good sport even when you both were studying together. Yeah he wasn’t the most book smart but he definitely knew how to light up a room and make everything feel less exhausting.

The sleeping beast called a crush didn’t wake up and thrash around the cage of your heart until you were sparring with him during class. You had a strong quirk called Angel, with the stereotypical small white angel wings that grew exponentially before flying around and using gold light beams from your hands to shoot at opponents. The sword and shield seemingly tattooed on your forearm could be pulled out and used during closer combat.

As soon as Aizawa called the start of the match, you were wrapped up in his tape as he pulled you closer to him. The smug smirk on his face was present as he leaned so close you noses were touching. His voice dropped a few octaves before he spoke as he locked eyes with you. His heart was racing just being so close to you, he wondered what else what he would do while you’re tied up by him.

“C’mon angel, you know you’ve always wanted to be tied up by my tape. So why don’t you be a good girl and let me take the win, yeah?” His dirty thoughts broke through a bit. He glanced at your lips briefly. A blush clawed it way on your face as you growled. You focused the heat in your body into light as he spoke, ignoring your own racing heart and clearing your mind.

You released this energy as soon as he finished. Your body flashing a bright gold as you melted the tape around you. He was stunned for a moment because of the flash and you took that moment to pull out your sword as a precautionary before you could knock him out of bounds with a swift kick to the chest. He groaned as soon as he hit the pavement. He was winded from the kick and trying to get his breathing under control.

You released a breath you didn’t know you were holding. The sleeping beast now wildly thrashing the cage of your heart and flipping everything upside down. The heat on your face was so hot that you thought you would melt the handle of your sword you were gripping tightly. Your brain was fuzzy and your blood was boiling in a different way. His words drove you mad and he knew it. Aizawa’s smooth voice shook you out of your daze.

“Good job (L/N), but make sure not to get distracted by petty words alright?” Aizawa spoke lazily as he wrote down notes on the fight. He walked over to Sero who was still on the ground and reached a hand out to help him stand up. (We love dadzawa on this blog)

Sero took it and tuned out his teacher as he focused on you. You stood with Mina, who was wildly flailing around and yelling at you to do something. You still had on the bright pink blush on your face but now it crept up to your ears. He smirked at the fact as the teacher walked away and called the next match, too tired to deal with this bull. (Bruh same)

The next few days were normal with Sero except a blush that seemed permanent on your cute face. Of course he noticed, he was walking around his a smug smirk that rivaled Bakugou’s but a lot less noticeable. You two were glancing at each other more and more in class and locking eyes a few times. Neither of you said anything about it.

You couldn’t find the courage to confess to Hanta. Mina was pushing both of you to confess to each other. Her and Denki even tried to lock you two in a room together but were ultimately disappointed when nothing happened and you both brushed it off. Her lil romantic heart was screaming in frustration because nothing was happening even though it was so OBVIOUS.

You were walking home from school after being locked in the room with the handsome boy. You walked with Sero until you went your separate ways about halfway through, both of you laughing at each other’s jokes and full of smiles. You both said your goodbyes and went your ways. You smiled at the time you had alone with him as you pulled out your phone and ear buds.

Your (fav band) was playing into the small speakers as you walked home. It was a little later than normal so you tried to make your way home faster. You passed by an alley on your way home. The one you passed by everyday. No big deal right?

An arm suddenly shot out of the dark alley as it wrapped around your waist and a hand covered your mouth. Your back was to their chest as you felt the dread creeping in. A hot breath was next to your ear as they spoke. “Ohhhh an angel, I’ve always wanted to kill a cute angel like you” a raspy and slurred voice breathed.

You tried to make your wings grow and your body heat up to get this gross weirdo to let you go. The fear kicking in as you struggled against the man. His boozed soaked stench of his mouth making you inwardly shiver in disgust. Your heart was beating wildly in pure terror of what could happen next. You needed to get out of here or die while trying.

“You can try and burn me all you want angel but I’m fireproof” the man slurred as the hand that held your mouth turned into sharp claws, scratching deep cuts on your cheek. Tears stung your eyes as you tried not to whimper. The blood from your cheek getting all over his fingers and all over your school uniform.

You struggled against him once again. The arm that was around your thin waist was held in front of you and was now on fire. Your stopped struggling to focus your energy into light to blind him. He chuckled at your stillness thinking you gave in. You were terrified but you kept yourself from giving in.

“Keep still angel, and I won’t have to burn those pretty wings of yours.” He taunted. Your eyebrows furrowed in disgust as you concentrated once again. You put most of your energy into making light as he took a deep sniff of your hair. You wanted to hurl but you concentrated.

You released all your energy at once, blasting the creep back with bright gold light as you ran out of the alleyway and into the nearest establishment. Soon you felt the searing hot pain of your right wing, you let out a loud scream as you ran. You pressed your hand into your cheek to try to stop the bleeding. The tears on your face flowing out and stinging your gashes. You ran as far away from the alley as you could until you found a cafe.

In your haze you ran right into someone. The blood on your hand and cheek smearing all over their black sweater. The adrenaline kept you standing as your heart raced. You looked up and looked to see none other than Mr. Aizawa looking at you in pure shock. You felt the adrenaline wear off as the pain set in. You let out a pained gasp as you were looking up at him. “Please help me” your small and panicked voice managed to get out as you passed out.

He was shocked to say the least but he caught you by your unoccupied arm and carried you princess style to his car. He sped off to the hospital, definitely breaking a few laws. He kept a clean handkerchief pressed to your cheek as he drove, you were still bleeding. The smell of singed feathers and skin filled his nose as he sped to the nearest clinic.

He got you checked in as he talked to police. He was also the one who made the call to your parents. They were out of the country so they gave him permission to take care of you. Once he ended the call with your parents, he leaned back into the chair and rubbed his dry eyes. He felt so tired, even more tired than usual. But it wasn’t your fault that you got attacked.

Mr. Aizawa liked you. You were a good student and kind to all the teachers. Not too loud and always turning in your homework on time. You even politely asked questions when you did have them. He didn’t play favorites but compared to the rest of the class you were well, an angel. He was worried about you of course! You were a sweet girl, a good student, and a good sport.

He sighed at the thought of telling his class that you were in the hospital. ‘That headache will be for another day’ he thought as he stretched out his always tired muscles. Thanking the receptionists after he got all the paperwork filled out, the tired man went to wait in your room to tell you the news.The cuts would scar and your wing might be okay, the doctor said.  He sat down in the padded chair next to your cot, leaning his elbows on his knees and holding his hands together while he looked at you pitifully.

You were now dressed in a hospital gown, a wad of gauze was secured on your cheek as you lay your side facing him. Your right wing 3/4ths of the way is burnt but was now wrapped in bandages. He thanked whatever higher power whoever did this didn’t get the base of your wings. But he still felt terrible for you. The small squeak of terror pleading for help was gonna haunt him in his dreams for the next few weeks. He felt guilty even though this was in no way his fault.

Your stirring broke him out his thoughts. He smiled comfortingly at you. “Hey kiddo” he spoke with his signature deep and lazy tone.

“Dad? I thought you were out of the country?” You spoke still in your sleepy haze induced by painkillers. The ravenette’s eyes widened and he stiffened for a split second. He then let out a small huff and leaned back in his chair and smiled genuinely at you. He knew a lot of his students saw him as their dad but hearing it made him happy.

“Sorry kiddo, it’s your homeroom teacher.” He put on a neutral face as he tried to hide the smug tone in his smooth voice. Your eyes widened at his words and and you shot up into a sitting position on your bed. A small hiss escaped your mouth from moving too quickly.

“Sensei! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to! I uhh” you panicked. He gave you a small wave to dismiss it and you shut your mouth as to not embarrass yourself any further. You always did see him like a dad, always helping you gently along and pushing you to do better. He was always supportive of all your classmates and you all joked about calling him dad in private.

He took a deep breath and asked you what happened. You told him about walking home a little later cause you forgot something in the classroom. You lied about being late cause you couldn’t get Mina and Denki in trouble. They didn’t mean for this to happen and they didn’t cause you to be injured. But you told him about everything else truthfully.

He sighed in frustration when you finished. “Well you did what you could and I’m proud of you for getting away. Just have someone walk you home when it gets late, okay? Ask one of the teachers or classmates, I’m sure they’ll say yes.” his neutral tone was back. You nodded at him, still embarrassed from calling him dad earlier.

The tall man stood up from the chair and gave your hair a light ruffle before he made his way to the door. “I’ll see you soon kid, get better soon.” He spoke as he left the room. You gave him a shy smile and a small wave goodbye. You laid back on your side as soon as he shut the door. The painkillers and the reassurance from your teacher made you feel at ease. You closed your eyes and drifted into dreamland.

A whole day later, you awoke to the sound of familiar yelling at the door of your room along with the stressed voice of the nurse. “WE’RE HER FRIENDS! LET US SEE HER YOU HAG!” The all too familiar voice of Bakugo Katsuki yelled.

“Sir please be quiet! She’s sleeping! You’ll wake her up!” The nurse quietly yelled back. You rolled your eyes and gave a laugh plus a wince coming from your cheek from said laughter. “COME IN, IM AWAKE NOW!” You yelled with a smile and another wince.

The door nearly was kicked down by an angry but worried Katsuki. Eiji and Mina rushing through the door to attack you in hugs that were a little too tight. Kiri was hooked with two arms around your waist while kneeling on the floor and Mina hugged you around the neck. Denki was crying and apologizing the right side of the bed. You smiled and laughed at the two love bugs while softly rubbing their backs, giving the electric blonde a “it’s okay, pikachu, I’m alive aren’t I?” with a small laugh.

Their cries of joy of you being okay were echoing around the room as you locked eyes with Sero. A small blush of embarrassment creeped onto your face as you looked at each other. Bakugo plopped down on the same chair Aizawa was sitting on hours earlier with huff. You smiled softly at Sero and he immediately smiled back.

He called off the group lovebugs and sat down on a chair on the other side of you. You spent the next few hours updating them with what happened and calming down the squads overdramatic reactions with the help of the Sero. One by one they all left as it was getting late. Soon enough is was just you and Sero.

As you said both said goodbye to Kiri, a comfortable silence filled the air. You took a deep breath and a good look at him. He face read as worried yet relieved to know that you were okay. You softly grabbed his large warm hand and in a moment of rare boldness, you interlaced your fingers together.

“Thank you for coming Hanta, I really appreciate it. It wouldn’t be the same without you visiting. You always seem to make me feel better no matter what I’m going through.” You spoke softly as you looked at your interwoven hands. The painkillers making you forget your nervousness around him.

He full body blushed at the comment, clearing his throat to try and form a response. His heart thumped against his ribcage painfully at the good news. He was overjoyed that he meant something to you. Little did he know, he meant the world to you.

“Of course, anything for you. You make my day so much brighter so I missed you a lot when you weren’t at school.” He spoke nervously. It was your turn to blush now. The heat crept up to your cheeks and clawed its way up to your ears. He couldn’t help but think you look absolutely adorable, even all bandaged up. His pupils expanded in the dark sea of his eyes for the love he harbored for you.

“Awe, thank you Hanta. You’re really sweet, ya know that? Now only if I could find a guy like you to love a broken angel like me.” You spoke with a sad laugh. The haze of the painkillers and the gashes that ran from the top of your cheekbone and stopped at the corner of your lips hit you with a tidal wave of realization.

You were a broken angel. The gashes were just an ugly reminder of what being an angel quirk user was really like. The fear of getting slaughtered and strung up like a trophy on a daily basis. The predatory looks you got from men when you were just minding your business. The fear of never using your wings again. You gripped his hand tightly as you wiped away the tears that were now clouding your vision. When did you start crying?

The reality of the situation crashing into him hard. It hit him like a train. How did you feel about all this? The guilt set in on not asking sooner but he knew you wouldn’t want to cry in front of everyone. He decided to do what no one else really did and he comforted you. His overwhelmed brain made his mouth say the thing he normally wouldn’t dare to.

“I’ll always love you, broken or not.” He spoke softly. Your eyes snapped to each other in shock as you both squeezed the others hand so tightly you thought it would shatter. The blushes on both your faces blossoming from pink to red. You broke the awkward tension first with a soft smile plastered on your face.

“Thank you, Hanta. I’ll always love you too.” You spoke gently as you placed a small kiss on the hand that was holding yours. You smiled lovingly at each other even though you both just confessed your love in a hospital. The air in the room felt lighter and warmer, like things were starting anew. It was a small step, but it was a step. And that’s all that matters.

[okageshadowkingfannovel]

Book 1: Chapter 10

When Ari wakes up, the very first thing he sees is his bedroom ceiling, and for just the briefest moment, he’s tempted to believe again that the whole thing - the Pig Latin curse, the strange bottle, weird butler, Evil King Stan, fighting a ghost in the Church basement - was just a dream. But then the redundancy of it hits him and he pushes away the temptation.

“About time you woke up, slave.”

Ari hears the crabby grumblings as he slips out of bed. As Stan pops out from under his feet, he notices that he’s been changed into pajamas.

“What happened?” he asks, rubbing at the sleep in his eyes.

“In shock of my fury and rage, you promptly passed out. I disappear when you fall unconscious - which is a surprisingly frequent event it seems - but I saw idiots from the village come down a couple hours later to find you pathetically curled up on the basement floor. They noticed the low level ghost had been vanquished, praised my name, and quickly whisked you home to your family. You’ve been asleep for two days.”

“Two days?!”

“Pathetic, isn’t it? But then, I suppose my powers are considerably overwhelming. So, don’t be too hard on yourself.”

Ari sits down on the bed, memories of a burning white glow and the phrase ‘overdrive’ drifting through his mind. He pulls up the pant leg of his pajamas and finds a neat bandage hiding away the teeth marks. A twinge of tenderness aches his skin when he gently pokes it.

“I guess it was all the fighting. I-I’ve never done anything like that before.”

“Speaking of, slave,” Stan starts in an offended huff, “what was all that? I wasn’t aware you had any sort of actual ability.”

“Neither was I,” Ari admits, “there was a moment in the middle of it, where everything sort of froze, and … there was this gear …”

“A gear?”

“Yeah, it was just floating in front of me. D-Does that mean you didn’t see it?”

King Stan places a thoughtful claw to his bright yellow mouth.

“Maybe you’ve been blessed with power simply due to your proximity to me. Leech-like you utilize the great amounts of power, boiling over from my being.”

Ari takes this as a ‘no,’ and sighs in resignation that he won’t find answers here.

“Technically, you’re the leech here,” he says, but then suddenly notices the glass tube sitting on his desk. “The village treasure?”

“Treasure?! Pah! Never mind that garbage! I’ve been stuck in this room for two days. Get dressed and make yourself useful!”

Before Ari can respond or even comply, there’s a soft knock at the door and his mother’s voice.

“Ari? Are you awake?”

He can hear an eagerness mixed with relief in his mother’s tone. “Y-yeah, I just woke up.”

“Oh, Ari! You must come see! Get dressed! Everyone is out front, waiting for you!”

“Everyone?”

Ari listens to his mother’s footsteps disappear down the hall.

“Well, don’t sit there like a slug! Get going!”

Stan sinks back down into the floorboards. Ari is grateful for a multitude of reasons, but the silence to be able to think stands at a solid number 2 on that list. As he dresses, the strange, floating gear still ticks away in his thoughts, and the word ‘overdrive’ echoes back.

Why ‘overdrive’ anyway? Did I make it up? I mean, if I did, it’s not a very cool name for an attack. I mean, even Stan had ‘Burning Devil.’ Even for him, that’s sort of cool. And how did I even get an attack? It couldn’t have been the weapon … unless that was a magic stick. Dammit! The one cool, magic item to fall into my hands and it’s a stick!

Ari doesn’t actually believe it was a magic stick.

Once dressed, Ari grabs the glass tube and turns it over in his hands. He’s not sure if the village meant for him to take it or if they didn’t recognize it as Tenel’s most prized possession and thought it was just some trash. Either way, he sticks it in his pocket and plans on asking the Village Office or the Village Elder or someone what he’s supposed to do with it.

Leaving his room, Ari makes his way down the hall and down the grand staircase that leads to the front door. Despite living with five other people - six if he includes the evil butler - the house is surprisingly quiet and empty feeling. He imagines that everyone is already getting on with their daily business. When he steps out the front door and into the sunlight, he is immediately deafened by waves of cheering.

The entire town of Tenel seems to be standing in his family’s courtyard. Some of Ari’s friends balance on the wall of the water fountain, waving at him. A few late villagers stand in the back of the crowd, carefully shifting away from the ancient graves so as not to step on the haunted ground. But in the front are a cornucopia of familiar faces, all pressing closer to give their enthusiastic support and ask their burning questions. He even sees Julia there, looking up at him with a uniquely feminine look of worry and concern.

“Hey! Hey, Ari!”

“Good work, Ari! Way to go!”

“Thanks! That was great!”

“How did you get rid of the ghosts? Let’s hear it, Ari!”

“Yeah! Tell us, Ari!”

Ari stands there speechless. He’s never been so noticed by so many people all at once. An embarrassing blush rushes to his cheeks.

“Grrr, they’ve got it all wrong,” Stan growls from somewhere, “It was all my doing! Evil King Stan is the proper target of your affection! Oh well, this is good timing. They are all assembled to receive the wisdom I shall bestow upon them!”

Before Ari can react, he hears the familiar whistle and feels Evil King Stan loom up behind him. He looks over his shoulder to find the shadow towering over him, quaking with an evil laugh as he looks out over the villagers. Ari tries to read the faces of the crowd. They look surprised to say the least.

“Listen here, villagers! I am the reincarnation of the Evil King Gohma, the Evil King of Darkness! I am Stan!”

“Wh-what’s going on?”

“Say, isn’t that …”

Ari hears the confused whispers and murmurs bubbling up from the crowd.

“Now that I’ve returned to this world, all that walks, flies, or crawls shall be my subjects! As a reward for your willing subjugation, I shall grant you insects a long, delightful purgatory!” Stan punctuates with a hearty laugh and then adds, “hear this! My official declaration! I will saturate this land with a black cloud of astounding malevolence!”

Ari feels a breeze hit the back of his neck as Stan whips about in his fervor.

“My plague of evil will infect every corner of this world! Bow before your lord and master, Evil King Stan!!!”

The ominous echo of ‘Stan’ bounces about the courtyard, over the heads of the bewildered audience. It seems like even the birds and squirrels in the trees have stopped twittering and chirping. Ari swallows nervously, his throat suddenly feeling dry.

“Aha! They’re speechless!” King Stan hisses in delight.

The quiet is heavily unnerving.

Ari waits.

And then, waits a moment more.

Another moment.

“… Ha ha …”

“… Pffft, ha ha ha ha ha!!!”

“Ha ha ha ha! This is too much!”

One laugh unleashes another and then another in a chain reaction of hilarity.

“Ari! I didn’t know you were such a riot!”

“Oh wow, this is good! I’m gonna die laughing!”

“That shadow trick of yours is pretty slick!”

“What?!”

“Hey! You should perform at the next Tenel Festival!”

“Evil King Stan, did you say? That’s priceless! Ha ha ha!”

“YOU PEASANTS! What are you laughing at?! My great decree is to be taken seriously! You! That one there! Stop laughing!”

“He just keeps going! Ha ha!”

All of a sudden, Ari feels a strange heat radiating off of the clearly angered shadow and it occurs to him that it’s been quite a while since he last used that ‘burning devil’ trick.

“Ah-um, OK, everyone,” Ari calls out, waving his arms to get their attention, “thanks for stopping by! Um, n-no trouble at all about the … the whole ghost thing … I gotta get back to studying. I-I’ll see you around town!”

Ari whips around and darts back inside the house before Stan can incinerate the entire town with black fire. He sighs as he leans against the front door.

“Why? Aghh! I don’t understand! Why?!” King Stan laments, shaking with rage. “I am the Evil King! A harbinger of impending doom! Yet the humans mock me … They even laugh at me! I’m so humiliated!”

Awkwardly rubbing at the back of his neck, Ari wracks his brain for something to say in response to King Stan’s tantrum of self-doubt.

“Well, I-”

“What am I … What am I supposed to do?! Am I a failure as Evil King? Am I a hopeless Evil King?”

“Uhhh …”

“So, it’s true?!”

“Wait, I didn’t-”

“Do I have to hear from this lousy slave that I am a lousy hopeless Evil King? I can’t take this anymore! I’m tired. I must rest for a while.”

And like a 2-dimensional teenager, Stan disappears to sulk in private. Ari waits a moment, frozen temporarily by the emotional whiplash. He’s not even sure how that conversation even happened.

“St-Stan?” he calls meekly.

Nothing happens.

“King Stan?”

“Silence! Don’t talk to me now! Curses!”

Ari supposes the shadow is well and truly upset.

“Oh, Ari!”

He looks up and finds his mother emerging from the kitchen, a huge sweet smile plastered across her face. She rushes up to him and catches him in a hug, squeezing him too tightly.

“Did you see them, Ari? The entire village came to see you! Oh, I’m so proud of you! My popular little man!”

“Mom,” he whines in a teenagerly way.

“You should go out into town,” she says excitedly as she finally pulls away, “I’m sure everyone wants to talk to you. Oh! And Stan too!”

A low growl rumbles up from the floor.

“Stan isn’t feeling too talkative right now.”

“Well, anyway, I heard even the village elder wants to speak with you! Apparently, there’s some rumor going around town.”

“What kind of rumor?” Ari asks, knowing full well that a rumor in Tenel is nothing new and usually nothing much to be excited about.

“I don’t know too much about it myself. Some kind of trouble happening in other towns. Go ask your father about it while your out. Go on!”

His mother practically pushes Ari out of the house. Once clear of the entryway, the front door slams shut behind him.

“Love you!” comes his mother’s muffled voice.

The courtyard now sits empty, its crowd of visitors having dissipated to carry on with normal, everyday Tenel business.

“I guess I’ll see what the elder wants,” Ari mumbles to himself … or to Stan, in case the shadow was still listening.

Before Ari sets off towards the gate, a strange noise pricks at his ears. It’s not the usual noises of nature - not chirping or twittering or snapping twigs - but it’s a sharp, mechanical clicking. It’s rhythmic and consistent. Instead of carrying on down the stone steps, he follows the noise along a small dirt path connecting the front to the back. Two balconies look down at him from the side of the house. Briefly, Ari wonders if the noise is leaking from one of those rooms. But no, it sounds much too close. Carrying on, he passes by a pile of firewood and a stump bearing the ax that made it. No, not from there.

Finally, Ari finds himself at the base of a tall, spindly steel tower. It’s an awkward marker for where the family property ends and the land suddenly drops off in a fair cliff, overlooking miles and miles of untamed, monster ridden wilderness. The tower is made up of lattice girders, spaced out at the base and joining together as the reach the top. The whole thing seems oddly squashed - as if a giant had grabbed it and squeezed - and it leans in a way that doesn’t seem safe.

“I found the source of the ticking,” he says to no one in particular, for no particular reason.

With an eye on the tower should it decide this is the opportune moment to finally keel over, Ari pokes around the tall grasses and tangled wild flowers. He swears the ticking is buried here at the tower’s feet. Finally, as he pulls aside a clump of weeds, a tiny gear comes into view. Nestled among the plant stalks, it fidgets in place, emitting that steady tick.

“Stan?” Ari excitedly whispers - though a beat later, he’s not sure why he felt the need to whisper since no one is around.

There is no response from the evil king. Feeling as if it might stop or disappear in a blink, Ari reaches out and gently plucks up the gear from its weedy nest. He lays it out in the palm of his hand. Overall, it seems completely ordinary. It fits neatly in his hand. It’s a dark, well-worn iron and has bits of dirt stuck in its crevices. If it wasn’t clicking on its own, Ari would have assumed it just fell off the tower. Naturally, he wonders if this gear bears any relation to that which he found (and broke) in the church basement.

Before he can think about it for too long, the ticking suddenly stops and the gear sits still.

I broke another one?

Ari wiggles hand in hopes of jiggling the gear back to ticking, clicking life, but the thing sits motionless, tickless, clickless.

I broke another one.

And of course, Ari’s now not sure if there was ever any noise at all. Perhaps it was all in his head. He wonders if hallucinations and mental breakdowns are typical symptoms of having one’s shadow possessed by a reincarnated evil king.

Anyway, Ari decides to pocket the little gear for now, just in case it start up again. If Stan will ever decide to talk to him again, maybe he can ask about it. But helpful answers don’t seem to be the evil king’s forte.

Chapter 1 • Chapter 2 • Chapter 3 • Chapter 4 • Chapter 5 • Chapter 6 • Chapter 7 • Chapter 8 • Chapter 9 • Chapter 10 • Chapter 11 • Chapter 12 • Chapter 13 • Chapter 14 • Chapter 15 • Chapter 16 - Finale

NOTE: Okage Shadow King is owned by Sony Computer Entertainment and Zener Works. This novelization is purely a fan-work and the writer claims no ownership over the characters, general plot line(s), etc.

[choicereviews]

The Royal Romance: Book 1

So... As soon as a new player opens the app, they (aka me) are immediately taken to The Royal Romance. No choice, no discussion, you WILL read The Royal Romance damn it! That is why I will be reviewing this story first. And yes, I’m aware that TRR stans can get quite “passionate” when anybody criticizes this book and to that I say... please don’t hurt me. It’s completely ok to have a different opinion on this book, believe it or not. Or any book for that matter. But if reading an honest review on this book could be triggering to you, by all means skip to a different post.

Onto the actual review, starting with the customization: I gotta say, Riley’s (the main character/us) faces and hairstyles during customization are a bit... off. It’s just interesting to me that PB decided to slightly rewrite parts of this book but kept its oldest character designs, which are actually the ones that needed touch-ups. Either way, at least Riley doesn’t have a new face while all the other characters stay the same, so I’ll get used to it. The dresses are gorgeous, however.

Once I read the first chapter, I knew that this story would demand a lot of suspension of disbelief. If TRR has any sort of plot-hole, you don’t question it: Me: Where are Riley’s parents? TRR: What are parents? Me: How is Riley so immediately willing to leave her whole life behind to hop on a jet with a couple of strangers to a foreign country for an undetermined amount of time? TRR: Hot prince. Me: Speaking of Riley’s life before all this... What was it like? All we know is that she was a waitress somewhere in NYC. TRR: Shhh... We don’t speak of that here. Me: Where are her friends? Is she not going to tell anyone about this?! Hardcore TRR stans: (in unison) In TRR club, we do not question TRR club. Me: ...O-ok...

I like the minigames, the timed choices, and the little details about life at court. It's fun to play around with the press and/or purposely mess up in front of the other members of court. We all know that Riley could mess everything up in these little challenges and still get the crown, so might as well have some fun with it! Turns out messing up on purpose is way more fun than following the rules of this book. But when no choices are given to us, I quickly found myself to be very bored.

Half of the dialogue in this whole story is our friends getting super hyped up about something and us letting them get excited for a good minute before crashing their dreams because we don't wanna spend any diamonds. How can Riley go ice-skating on a lake in a goddamn tank top and jeans?!

CHARACTERS

Liam and Riley's romance is really sweet in the very beginning, when Liam was being himself in New York. But as the book progressed, it felt like it was dying down. Liam quickly became a pretty bland character. His lack of standing up for himself or Riley is frustrating and we don't get to learn much about who he really is unless we pay diamonds. I review all these stories based on the free experience, and the free experience does not do much for our dear prince.

Hana is the sweetest. Unlike a lot of people have said in the past, she's not a Mary Sue. The whole plot doesn't revolve around her at all (if anything, Riley is way more of a Mary Sue than Hana) and I find her struggling in the court's social scene really relatable and endearing. Just one thing though: why is me telling her that she looks great suddenly a romance choice? Can't I tell my future best friend how gorgeous she looks in a purely platonic way?

Drake is the worst. His personality just boils down to complaining, whiskey, and being the opposite of Liam in almost every way. But Liam is being so boring that Drake actually seems like a viable option next to him. I'm not going to romance him but I can see why some players would. Liam really isn't shining in this book.

Kiara's ultra-random French annoys me... I speak French. I know a lot of people who speak French. Yes, sometimes we use French words with each other when we forget an English word but it never sounds like what Kiara makes it sound like. Am I too passionate about this? Maybe. Everytime Kiara was on screen, all I could do was an eyeroll. Why did PB not ask a French speaker to help them with Kiara's character? Or at least review her dialogue? No one talks like this...

Maybe this is just an irrelevant detail to some, but Olivia should not look identical to her ancestor (Zenobia Nevrakis). That's just not how DNA works... So I keep wondering what Olivia would've looked like if PB actually gave her a face of her own.

I'll be using a different format for Choices' books reviews. Probably a chapter by chapter review all in one post because this review turned out pretty messy. Part 2 will have the same format as this one however, for consistency.

All in all, I really want to drop this book. The Royal Romance books make great diamond mines if you’re like me and don’t care much for the story, so go ahead and get your diamonds if you can get past the boredom of some of the long sequences of pointless dialogue. As I’ve said before though, you can really get a kick out of using your Mary Sue powers to the fullest and purposely messing up every timed choice/challenge and laugh at the court and your friends watching in horror. It’s not a bad book, just not one for everyone. Despite its large dedicated fandom, it’s still a hit-or-miss kind of book. I’m scared of giving it a bad rating for obvious reasons but I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to give this book a 4/10* right now. Give it a 10/10, or a 0/10, love it or hate it... Personally, I give the first part of this book a 4/10.

*The basis for rating depends on the app. I expect a lot more from Choices than Chapters, for example, so that will affect the rating I give other books in the future.

[russian-romanova]

the blood oath

title: the blood oath

pairing: young!bill denbrough

word count: 2K

warnings:  mentions of blood and injury, a line of sarcasm near the end

notes: short little blurb bc i adore bill so much. i tried to make it separate from the actual scene will bill and beverly, but we’ll see how that turned out. also i don’t think i’ve ever written a kiss before this i have no idea how those work oops 

summary: after defeating it for the time being, the losers make a promise to return twenty-seven years later if it comes back.

+     +    +

Two months ago, you had almost died. All of you had, but you remember the specific feeling of staring at It, looking like a clown as he had for many of your encounters, and thinking that none of you were going to make it out of the sewers. You had almost lost both Stanley and Mike to different forces that day, and you had lost Beverly -- although by some miracle you had gotten her back. 

There had been that immeasurable feeling of fear, greater than any emotion you had felt before in your life. It looked from one loser to the next, and your heart had stopped beating. You would swear on it, it had lay frozen in your chest for a good few seconds when Its eyes fell momentarily on you, and only remembered when It was looking at the next kid. 

You were going to die, you knew it. You were thirteen years old, in the height of your small life, and you were going to be murdered by a demonic clown in a sewer. If you hadn’t been so scared, you would have peed your pants. It had captured Beverly, could have killed her if It wanted to. Who’s to say It couldn’t do the exact same to every one of you, feeding on your fear before eating you whole. 

Then you had looked towards Bill Denbrough, and things seemed to be okay again. He had looked back at you, his young face furrowed in some sort of determination you had never seen before. It was the determination of a man, the man you would see twenty-seven years later, not the determination of a thirteen-year-old boy. Bill had looked at you, nodded sharply, and then the two of you had looked away. After that, you could breathe again. 

Then It had gotten Bill too, and you thought all hope was lost once more. It has Bill in Its wicked grasp, and It told you that if you left the two of them, you could get away from all of this. If it had been any of the other losers, you would have considered it for a split second. You wouldn’t have left, never in a million years, but the back of your mind would have held the idea for less than a second. 

This wasn’t any of the other losers though, this was Bill. You felt the same fear you felt earlier in your stomach, the fear that accompanied the idea you would positively die. Somehow worse, was the idea that he would die. That It would kill Bill Denbrough, and then it would kill every single one of you, not that it would matter because without Bill you were just a bunch of kids. 

It was September now.

You had defeated It, at least for now. This was one of those things you wouldn’t know without time, without roughly twenty-seven years of time. You could hope It was gone forever, but deep down you all knew It would be back. It was for this reason, at least in your mind, that you had all come back here. 

Eight of you sat in a field near the Kenduskeag, forming a small circle that you could give your secrets into. Bill had called each of you individually and told you how the encounter was something that needed to be talked about. You had all battled It, gotten out of the sewers and gone your separate ways, only to return the next day in the Barrens as if nothing had happened. As if It had been a dream, the fight an accompanying nightmare.

It wasn’t a dream here, not when you sat together in silence. Here, looking from face to face, it was real. For this short time, all the details were vivid in your memory. Beverly was speaking now, her eyes moving from person to person as she recalled what she had seen as she floated. “I can only remember parts, but I thought I was dead. That's what it felt like. I saw us, all of us together back in the cistern, but we were older, like our parents' ages.” 

Bill looked at Bev before asking, “What were we all doing there?” 

She paused, looking at the grass under her shoes before shaking her head. “I just remember how we felt. How scared we were. I don't think I can ever forget that.” And that was understandable, of course it was. You had all been terrified, and you found yourself thinking back to how sure you had felt that you were going to die. Nothing you had faced before had been that frightening, and it would be twenty-seven years before anything did again.

Suddenly inspired, Bill shot off of the log he was sitting on to his feet. “Swear it.” He began, and you noticed a shard of glass between his fingers. “Suh-suh-swear if It isn't dead, if It ever comes back,” Bill paused, his eyes briefly meeting yours. “We'll come back, too.”  

You gulped, unsure. But as Bill looked at you, and you at him, you felt the sense of security return to you that you had all felt in the caves. Bill knew what he was doing. He was your fearless leader, and he would never let you down. 

Fully trusting him, you stood up. 

One by one, the other losers followed. When everyone was on their feet, Bill looked down at his own hand and brought the glass to it. Wincing, he pushed the shard into it and sliced a line. For a moment, he looked down at it in thought. None of you rushed him.

Slowly, he walked towards you and your already extended hand. You looked up at Bill. and his silent look said it all. The cut was going to hurt, but you knew that already. If you got the sudden urge to duck out, all you had to do was think of George Denbrough, and how hurt Bill had looked when It had used Georgie to trick him. He had cried tears that had been stuck inside him since Georgie had given him that final goodbye, stomping off in galoshes Bill would never see again. Bill had never cried in front of you like that, not with his eyes so raw and puffy, face in complete agony. If you got the urge to run away again, you would remember Georgie and how Bill had looked at him, and your feet would be planted again. 

The glass moved above your palm, biting into the area between your forefinger and your thumb until blood began to show. Knowing it was deep enough, Bill glided the shard across your hand, ripping and tearing at your skin until he deemed it was enough. The glass was withdrawn, and you winced at the finished product. Staying strong, you lifted your head to look at Bill, who was watching your reaction carefully. His mind was already that of an author’s, capturing details for later recollection. Neither of you spoke, and after a moment Bill moved on.  

You looked down at your hand. It was smeared in red now, reflective of the messes you would make with finger paints when you were much younger.  ‘The blood helps the pain,’ You reasoned. ‘The blood covers the cut, and it can’t hurt so bad if I can’t see it.’

One by one, Bill sliced open every loser’s palm with the same line. When he was done, Bill took his place back in the circle next to you and held out his hands to either side. None of the action was awkward; you all silently knew what to do. Silently, you grabbed Bill’s hand with your own left hand and reached for Beverly’s with your right. 

At this moment, it seemed complete. You were all connected, as you had been for a while now and suspected you always would be, but here it was physical. You were connected by hand and blood, the warm blood of one loser smearing onto the hand of the next. Simple and truthfully, you were permanently connected. 

But as soon as you had all known what you were doing, you knew to stop. All eight losers dropped their hands, and Stanley broke the comfortable silence. “I gotta go. I hate you.” He grinned at Bill, who seemed relieved that Stan was only joking. Bill gave Stan a goodbye, and the curly-haired boy was the first to leave the group. Eddie was next, a connection so large yet one none of you would ever make or even remember. Then Mike, Richie, Ben, and Bev all made their way back towards the populated part of Derry, where they could go home and begin the long process of recovery. 

Nearby you and Bill, the Kenduskeag rolled by over rocks, ambiently centering you. “Can you believe school’s starting next week?” You asked Bill softly. 

He looked up. “No. I kind of wih-wih-wish it wuh-wuh-wasn’t, though.” You nodded in response. No matter how horrible of a summer you had all had, it had still been summer. 

“I can’t believe we spent our whole summers fighting a fucking clown,” You mumbled. 

“At least it was suh-something,” Bill said, shrugging before he looked at you. Out of the blue, he added, “I’m glad y-you’re oh-oh-okay.” 

You met his eyes, smiling. “I’m glad you’re okay, too.” You added softly, all at once remembered the softer part of the fear that had eaten away at you when you thought you had lost Bill to It. The burning emotion had been care when you boiled it all down. Why had the thought of It getting Bill frightened you so much more than it had when you thought It had gotten Beverly or Mike? Because you cared. 

In a moment of bravery, you realized that Bill Denbrough must have cared too. 

The realization was shared, and Bill moved forwards in a natural way. However, you beat him to it, pushing yourself towards him until your lips met. It was somehow completely unlike how you would have imagined kissing Bill was like -- not that you would ever have done that -- but it was perfect at the same time. The thought that you were kissing Bill Denbrough didn’t even hit you until the two of you released, pulling away to look the other in the eye. 

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say after one of those,” You answered honestly. “I liked it though.”

Bill turned bright red. “Oh, oh-oh-okay, muh-muh-me t-too.” His eyes flicked to the grass and then back up to you. 

“I thought it was really nice,” You added.

He nodded. “Muh-me t-t-to.”

Satisfied with his answers, you leaned closer to kiss Bill once more. This was something you could certainly get used to, you realized, smiling softly against his lips. 

Bill felt it, moving his head back to smile back. “Wuh-what?”

You shook your head. “Nothing,” You said before leaning in for a third time. And it was true. For the first time all summer, you felt happy and free. Absolutely nothing was wrong. 

[spnfanficpond]

January 2020 Pond LiveChat Recap - Writing RPF

We had a great time chatting with Taylor,  @impalaimagining​! Thank you so much for joining us and sharing your thoughts and experience!

Our topic this month was Writing RPF, and we talked about the legal, moral, and emotional aspects of writing about real people.  A rundown of the chat, as well as general Pond news, is below the cut!

We started off the chat with the legal side of things, most of which was covered back when we talked about Monetizing Fan Works back in May. Here are the related links that were brought up:

Wikipedia: Legal issues with fan fiction (The section dealing with RPF is near the bottom under Right of Publicity.) Boiled down, RPF has to deal with a celebrity's Right of Publicity. Famous people have the right to control the commercial use of their name, image, and likeness, sometimes even their broader identity or persona. Most states’ laws on this only apply to uses for commercial gain. So, don't try to get paid directly for RPF, and you're safe.

From NPR: We Stan: Real Person Fan Fiction Comes To Life. This is a fascinating discussion about RPF, the legalities, and how it’s been changing in recent years. This argues that basically since “fiction” is right there in the name, RPF is inherently more legal than regular fan fiction based off of characters. No one is trying to say that the real people involved are actually doing these things, it’s just fiction.

Goodreads Genre: Fan Fiction - Real Person Fiction. When I was researching, this link came up, and I clicked it, not knowing what to expect. Finding that Fan fiction, much less RPF is on Goodreads was surprising to me. (I thought Goodreads was only about books that could be purchased and didn’t touch “unpublished” works, but I guess not?) What I found most interesting was exactly how many of the titles listed on that page are J2-related. There are more J2-related titles than all of the others COMBINED. As a fandom, we rock!

The discussion started with most folks saying they hadn’t considered the legalities of fan fiction, or RPF in particular, when they began writing. Their first concern was just getting the story out of their head and onto the paper. Also, since no one was getting paid for it and it’s so popular, no one questioned the legalities. Also, since it’s fiction, there’s no defamation of character.

@mrswhozeewhatsis​ (Michelle): Most people know that I generally don’t read RPF, unless it’s an AU. Way way way back, when I first started reading fan fiction, I used to read the occasional RPF. Honestly, before SPN, I never really liked an actor enough to want to know more about them. (I've been burned by some jerk actors in the past.) One of the first RPFs I ever read was from Jared's POV, and it contained a scene where he was on stage at a con, and detailed his thoughts. I forget what the inciting incident was, but suddenly he was thinking, "Great, now they're all thinking about how big my dick is," and it made him spiral. Something about that stuck with me, to the point that I cringe every time I see Jared on stage and anything remotely sexual comes up. That's pretty much what stopped me from reading RPF. I have no problem thinking about how big Sam's dick is, but I can't ponder too much about Jared's dick, or I can't look him in the eye when I see him at cons!!!

Taylor: I definitely think there is a very fine line to be walked when you write RPF, and I generally don't cross into the area of writing from an actor's POV.

Q: Is that how you keep it separate so you don’t stare into their faces at a con during a photo op and think about the smut you wrote about them?

Taylor: It can be hard to keep it separate sometimes but it's actually very easy in the moment of a split second photo op. They move so quickly, I don't genuinely think I have ever had the time to consider the things I've written about them while I was talking to and hugging them!

Q: Anyone else who doesn’t read/write RPF, do you think that the whole not being able to look them in the eye is an internal thing for anyone in your life, or just celebs? 

@manawhaat​ (Mana): For example, I have A. FUCKING. LOT. of sex dreams. With tons of people, celebs and people I know in my real life... and I don't want to say that it's jaded me as far as thinking sexual thoughts about people, but in a way it kind of has. I don't have that moral dilemma of not being able to look Jared in the eye after thinking about his dick.  Taylor: I completely agree. I think writing it has made me kind of impervious to it bleeding into my daily life. I see Jared and my heart goes ohmygodwelovehim first and in person, then later when he's not around is when the wowowowbutwhatabouthisdick comes in. Michelle: I don’t think I could write about anyone in a smutty way. Just characters.

Q: I wanted to talk about 'characterization' of rpf. Do other rpf writers out there think of the people as characters and treat them that way, or do you humanize them? Idk if that question makes sense but it's along the same lines of keeping them separate. 

@fogsrollingin​ (Alex): I cast them in other stories when it's rpf. I always write rpf AUs with only a couple exceptions. We know their onscreen mannerisms, so making them astronauts terraforming a new planet with evil aliens on it is like "oh easy". Taylor: Characterization is huge for me. If someone writes an actor outside of the way they portray themselves, it's impossible for me to read. While we don't know these people personally, we know how they act outwardly and in the public eye, and that's enough to get a good idea of the kind of person they would be.  Michelle: I have no trouble reading AUs, because it's just another character who happens to look like and have the name of one of my favorite actors. In AUs, they're characters. If they are actors on a show called Supernatural, then it's too humanizing for me. Taylor: See, Michelle, my mind can't separate it to that degree. If I'm reading about someone named Jared who looks like our Jared? It's Jared. AUs give me a lot of trouble, to be honest.  Both writing and reading. Alex: I feel like it's no different than if Jared did a scifi movie during his summer break from spn & it's so low budget they just kept his real name for his character name.

Q: Do you feel differently reading ship RPF than reader insert RPF?

Michelle: Most of the RPF stories I read are ships, but I do read some reader inserts, too. It’s not an intentional choice either way. Alex: I don't feel differently about it, rly. I know I prefer reading ships over reader insert but that's just my personal jam. Mana: I have a hard time reading ship rpf mainly because I like the versions of my ships that I've built in my head, so when someone deviates from that it is a little turn off for me. Like, your version of Cockles is not the same as my version, which is totally fine, you do you, but it isn't gonna tickle me the same way ya know. so when I get into like non-mainstream ships it's extra difficult to find writers who represent them in the 'right' ways. Taylor: I feel that way about pretty much everything I read, and I think that has a lot to do with the whole characterization piece of it. I know that my idea of and the way I portray Jared or Jensen is probably a million times different than the way other people, including my readers, think of them. I try really hard to make sure the way the actors come across is "right". Mana: I think the one big piece of characterization is kind of using the way they have presented themselves as a moral compass. Obviously they don't present their whole selves so there's always wiggle room and areas where you are free to project your ideas of them into the fic, but that's also the trickiest area and where so many people drop the ball.  Taylor: YES. So, so many people take that wiggle room and take it leaps and bounds beyond what is public (fandom) knowledge. 

Q: How do you feel about RPFs that support certain theories about the wives being beards and such?

Mana: I try to not write anything that would feel as if I'm slandering anyone, etc. I wouldn't want to write a Jensen x reader fic where Danneel cheats on him and that's how they get together. If I mention it at all I just say that they've peacefully and amicably parted ways. If I don't mention it then they simply don't exist in the timeline. But never anything negative about anyone, especially the wives.  @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish​ (Kaisha): I don't write smut (only read) so I have a very different interpretation on a lot of the things being discussed. I tend to stick with non-AU, sister/daughter!reader insert RPF fics because I don't feel creative enough branch out beyond that. I feel the same as Mana, and I actually won't read fics that are based on the premise that someone cheated for the storyline to work. Alex: I'm okay if ppl deviate far into fantasy realms tho. As long as it's not too support a real life conspiracy theory about the actors, if ppl wanna write it & others like it, all the more power to them. I mean as long as you're like "I killed the wives during the zombie apocalypse in my fic but I love them in real life please don't kill me" I'm like "cool". Taylor: I avoid bashing fics or beard fics. Admittedly I have one where Jensen and Danneel never got married, but they still had a daughter together and Danneel hid the kid from him until her 5th birthday. That doesn't feel like a bash/slander fic to me because I'm not painting anyone as a bad person - things just played out differently. 

Q: The person who suggested this topic mentioned “how to write your first RPF.” Any suggestions?

Michelle: Have Mana finish it for you! (The only one I’ve ever written, she had to finish for me!) Alex: My first rpf was a ballerina!Jared & yogi!Misha romcom. It was so goofy! Taylor: I don't know if I can even answer that question. It literally just poured out of me when I started. I took the tiny little idea I had in my head (my daydream, as it was previously and so aptly named), and put it into words and it ended up being a 10 part series. Mana: How to write your first rpf: READ RPF FROM A LOT OF DIFFERENT WRITERS. find what works for you and for the people you're writing about. do a couple of trial runs with shorter fics. you have room to play, but try not to stray too far from what they've presented themselves as in real life. Kaisha: For me, when I wrote my first RPF (which was also my first fic), I was in a mental place where I was watching a lot of con videos and reading a lot of sister/daughter fics. It was more "I need an outlet for how I am feeling right now and I don't have anyone to talk to"...so I talked to the image of the boys I had made in my head from what I saw of them online.

Q: Does character shipping affect the RPFs you read? Like, if your OTP is Destiel, do you mainly only read Cockles?

Kaisha: I will read almost anything that's related to one of the Js, either RPF or SPN. But I don't have strong ship feels one way or another that changes what I read/write for RPF. Taylor: I don't know if character ships have any kind of effect on RPF ships. Because there are a lot more people involved in cons than we see on the show, and cons are my primary source of RPF inspiration. Like, we see Henry, what, twice in the show? But Gil McKinney is a whole other story. He's all over the convention circuit (or at least he used to be) and also all over fandom twitter. It just feels easier for me to write RPF because I see these actors in my real life, interacting with other real people. I have interacted with them, which makes things feel a lot more real than writing about two hot fictional dudes from my TV screen. Alex: I'm definitely up for Sam/Dean as much as I'm up for J2. Oddly tho it's Mishalecki at real life con panels that's gotten me totally happy to write/read Mishalecki.

Q: (From Taylor) The piece of RPF I struggle with the most is bringing events from the actors' real lives into my stories. Writing about Jensen and the brewery, about their kids and stories they tell about them at cons, that's where my already grey area turns even more grey. 

Kaisha: I am right there with you Taylor! My fic started as mostly the reader and JJ interacting and then I remember the twins existed, too. And with my new fic I am trying to figure out if the San Jac and FBBC will work in or not. Mana: I'm interested in this, because I don't seem to have that issue or gray area. It just doesn't exist for me and I'd like to hear more about it from you guys. Taylor: It's so hard haha. I have something coming up that deals with Jared being arrested and of course I didn't post it before that whole event went down so now it looks like I'm taking that part of his life and twisting it for my personal fiction needs. Which feels kinda (adult word for "not good").  Kaisha: For me the gray area thing is because I want to write a believable story. A believable story has realistic details and if I am ignoring or overlooking things that my audience knows to be true, I feel it takes them out of the story. Mana: So it's a case of omit it entirely or commit to it entirely? I ask in regards to like FBBC and the kids. Do you feel differently about incorporating those aspects into your fics? would you be more comfortable writing about fbbc than you would the kids? Or does that gray area cover the same on both? Kaisha: The same thing goes for when I beta read something. A detail that I don't remember or agree with will take me out of the story and send me on a research rabbit trail to know if the author is correct with what they said. I want to stay in the story as much as possible and I want that for my readers too. That's probably a good way to differentiate it. If I state in the A/N that J1 only has 1 kid, then I don't have to consider what year the story is occurring in. But if I tell you it's non-AU, well then everything that is happening in our universe should be happening in my story (otherwise, it would be AU, even to the slightest degree). The kids vs. FBBC thing I think could be very personal on which someone feels more comfortable with. I say that because I know ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING about alcohol. Kids on the other hand I get. Taylor: For me it's the same. Just, actual concrete aspects of Jensen's life are harder for me to write about. Because then - again, just for me - that feels like writing from their point of view, which is something I try to avoid.

Q: Do any of you read/write RPF outside of SPN?

Taylor: SPN is my only fandom. Michelle: I tried to read fics from other fandoms, and just couldn’t get into it. I might be getting sucked into The Witcher fandom, though. Haven’t found any Geralt fics that really align with my image of him, though. Alex: There are CW network RPF AUs I read. Taylor: I feel like, as SPN fans, we have a wonderful privilege and incredible pool of writers to choose from when we want to read. I don't know, because like I said SPN is my only fandom, if any other fandom has this level of talent or dedication.

Q: Have you ever read an RPF fic that changed the way you viewed an actor? Or given you a sense of gained insight into their lives?

Michelle: That's actually why I don't read “canon-compliant” RPF, actually. Because then I might think that idea is real, and won't see that it's not, even when proven wrong. Like, maybe Jared actually loves it when we think about how big his dick is? But I can't stop thinking that it embarrasses him and makes him uncomfortable because I read it in that one fic. Kaisha: @crashdevlin​  has a Jensen x reader series that also heavily features Tom Hiddleston. My view of Tom has forever been changed because of her story!  Michelle: My brain is very malleable. Sometimes, I'm so open-minded, my brain falls right out. I have to be careful what I let influence me. Kaisha: It wasn't something that I intended to happen. Crash just wrote a very compelling character and I think my opinion would have been altered no matter who it was that she used as the face. Taylor: I've never read anything that has changed the way I view the actors. I've certainly read things that have given me new ideas about the things they enjoy (bitey and/or rough smut), but nothing that's changed the way they appear in my mind. I think the biggest part of all of this is just remembering that all of this is 100% FICTION and should never be taken as reality in any way, shape, or form.

To close out the chat, Mana requested fic recs! Here are the recs that were mentioned:

Michelle: If you're into serial killer AUs, There's a J2 AU in my AO3 bookmarks that's genius. Adoration. The other RPF bookmark I have is called Beholder. Jared runs an animal shelter, and Jensen is a homeless man with a TBI who gets dumped at the shelter one night.

Alex: My favorite rpf fic is Tails by keep_waking_up. Werefox!Jared & kitsune!Jensen law enforcement murder mystery AU.

Taylor: One of my favorites to read is by @thecleverdame​: Modern Technology. (Jared x reader) This is unfinished but it's quickly becoming one of my favorite Jensen-things I've ever written, AND IT'S AN AU!!! Rockabye. Also, there’s You Saved Me (Jared x Reader). And have a J2 x Reader for funsies! Something is Happening

Kaisha: This is my favorite RPF. Underneath verse (series) - J2 -  Jensen is the undercover FBI agent sent to take out Jared, the boss of Chicago. #Self-promo, but I am pretty proud of this one, too: Nanny, Sister, Daughter...Family (Jenneel with sorta daughter!reader)

Mana: Here’s the Cockles x Reader fic that Michelle and I wrote: Rumor Has It And, of course, (Jenneel x Reader) Fools In Love.

Feel free to reblog with your favorite RPF fics!!

Also, the February LiveChat info is still TBD. Feel free to send in your topic ideas and suggest guest speakers!!

General Pond Updates and Reminders

What we’ve got cooking up next: Not much, at the moment, since everyone is busy, so we’re just trying to keep up with the day-to-day at the moment! Our to do list is still long, though, and will not be neglected forever! Next up is organizing the tagging system on the blog to make it easier for readers to find the stories they’re interesting in and for writers to find the help they’re looking for!

Reminders:

Angel Fish Award nominations are accepted all month long! No need to wait to tell us how much you liked a fellow Fish’s work!  IF YOU HAVE SENT IN A NOMINATION, BUT HAVE NOT RECEIVED A PRIVATE MESSAGE CONFIRMING WE RECEIVED IT, WE DIDN’T GET IT. Be sure to use Submit instead of Ask!

Don’t forget to submit your stories to be posted to the blog! When your stories are on the blog, then they are easier to nominate for Angel Fish Awards!

Say hi to December’s New Members and January’s New Members! (If we missed someone, let us know!)

Check the Pond CALENDAR to see when Big Fish will be in the Skype chat room/discord general channel and other Pond and SPN events are happening! Know of something that’s not on the calendar, send us an ask or submission with the deets info details!  The calendar offers a lot of features, such as showing you when things are in your own timezone! Since we’re an international group, that’s a definite plus!!

We’re getting lots of requests for more Big Fish, lately, but so far, only one applicant! If you know someone you think would be a good Big Fish, tell them to apply!!

[nancywheelxr]

Best timeline where bill gets paranoid about Eddie and Stan (like “stand here and we will cluster around you while we cross the street but only after no cars have passed for at least five min” kind of paranoid) and finds excuses to touch them (like clap on the shoulder or something) to convince himself they are still alive

Okay, I have to admit, these It prompts are by far my favorites to write! And, as always, you can find more of this AU here.

*

“Wait,” Bill says, momentarily seized with too much desperate panic not to freeze up. For a second, he forgets what’s dream and what’s memory and what’s now. He reacts before he thinks, hands like a vice on Eddie’s wrist and Stan’s elbow. 

In front of them, traffic keeps on like usual. “Sorry, I thought– n-nevermind.”

“Are you alright?” Bev asks carefully, trading a guarded look with Mike that Bill knows means he lost his cool one too many times now. Of course everyone’s noticing. 

“F-Fine,” he mutters, letting go abruptly and stuffing his hands on the pockets of his jacket, tucked away safely not to make another scene. His nightmares are his own, Bill doesn’t need them spreading into reality, into anyone else’s mind. “Just thought I’d seen a c-car.”

It’s a flimsy excuse and he knows no one’s buying it, but he must look really pitiful if even Richie’s unwilling to call him on his bullshit. But Bill can’t help it, really. There’s this awful itch on his mind, this feeling every time he thinks about that nightmare– sometimes, it feels like they’re just living on borrowed time, like the universe might realize its mistake and come collect Eddie and Stan away. 

So Bill worries.

He checks the street a dozen times before crossing and he walks close enough that his shoulders brush Stan’s. He tells Richie to keep an eye on Eddie and he keeps an eye on Stan himself. Sometimes, the light hits Stan’s wrists in an angle and Bill thinks he sees scars there, violently red, and he has to deliberately stop himself from checking.

The others have all noticed by now. Paranoia isn’t a strange look on him, Bill remembers that now, but it’s never skyrocketed like this. They probably think it’s concerning because they’re adults now and they can’t say shit like Bill’s going batshit crazy anymore.

Not that– Bill’s not sure that would be too far from the truth.

“You okay, man?” Stan asks after they’ve crossed the street and he’s politely not rubbing at his arm, where Bill had probably bruised him, like Eddie’s doing a few feet away. “You look– tired.”

Bill can’t help snorting. “Thanks, that’s g-generous.”

“I’m a generous person,” he replies mildly, expression still blandly devoid of anything that might’ve tipped off Bill to what he’s thinking. “But seriously, are you okay?”

Lying is a possibility here. Bill could look at Stan in the eye and tell him everything’s fine, he could, he already did it once, he told Audra everything was fine, he just had to go back home. He told her he’d be back soon. So yes, Bill could lie, but– it doesn’t sit right with him. Aren’t they all here because of him? In the end, it all boils down to: if Bill hadn’t faked being sick that one morning 28 years ago, things would have turned out very differently.

“Hey, stop that,” Stan shakes him a little and there it is again, the light glinting off imaginary wounds, and Bill is really this close to sitting him down and wrapping him in gauze just in case. “You’ve got your guilty face on, it’s worse than your I haven’t slept in a week one and that’s saying a lot.”

“Jeez, w-what happened to being generous?” Bill jokes weakly, knows it’s falling flat at their feet, and drags a hand over his face. “Nothing’s wrong,” he finally settles on, not a lie, not the whole truth.

Stan studies him carefully– everyone’s always a shade of careful with him lately. “But?”

“But my nightmare feels a bit t-too real sometimes,” he admits, the words leaving him like air out of a balloon, and Bill exhales, deflates, lets Stan bump against him as if that is the only thing keeping him upright. “I’m sorry.”

Neither of them says anything else as Stan mulls over his confession, face scrunched in concentration. This time, when sunlight hits, there’s just Stan, no shimmering images overlapping. “Don’t be,” he tells him with surprising certainty, “it’s not your fault.”

And goddamn, that’s such a broad expression but the way he says it sounds like he means it that way, broadly. An encompassing statement that’s supposed to take up all the space between them. It shouldn’t help, by all means, Bill is made of half grief and half guilt, and yet.

And yet, here Bill is, breathing. 

“T-thanks,” he swallows thickly, vividly aware his hands are shaking in his pockets.

Stan claps a hand on his shoulder, warm and alive, heartbeat pulsing under his skin. “I mean it, Bill. You should talk to someone about this, it doesn’t have to be me, but I’d listen.”

Somewhere between the hardware store and crossing into Main Street, they’ve fallen behind, the others walking nearly half a block ahead, and Bill finds he doesn’t mind this. It’s nice, glancing up and seeing all of them there, together– Richie with his arms slung over both Eddie and Bev, Ben holding her hand, Mike laughing, head thrown back. And Stan there, at his side. 

There’s safety in numbers, yes, but in Bill’s experience, there’s peace.

He smiles. “I think I’d like that.”