#I JUST FIGURE IT OUR. weasel is in | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

internetskiff · 1 year ago

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The most powerful ability exclusive to humanity in the Half Life/Portal shared universe is our ability to just throw bullshit at the wall and see what sticks. Aperture "OSHA are the devil" Science have managed to create completely safe interconnected points in space. The same company that turns people's blood into gasoline and shoves lions and humans into the same enclosed space for the vague concept of "Science". Meanwhile Black Mesa still has to use Xen as a crossing and their teleportation device requires an entire reactor with a village's worth of staff constantly maintaining it, just to end up having most of said staff abducted by onion-headed aliens. Even the resistance hasn't managed to create completely stable teleporters with a compressed Xen relay, meanwhile Aperture just went "oh dude let's shove a black hole into a non-waterproof gun" and have just created a teleportation method that just removes Xen from the equation entirely. Doesn't change the fact they bullshat so bad they basically got themselves gassed to death, but still.

The Resistance are a good example of this too. The Combine seem to have a complete set-in-stone thought process and understanding of science which meant they didn't even begin to explore local teleportation via Xen, meanwhile a group of random human mechanics and scientists have managed to cobble together at least two semi-functional local teleporters out of scrap metal and stolen Combine tech, to the point the All-Consuming Interdimensional Empire had to straight up copy their homework. And that isn't even the only time they seem to be taking human shit to just copy the blueprints.

They 100% just yoinked the entire damn car out of that garage just to take a crack at reverse-engineering the Tau Cannon attached to it. Even Resistance weaponry somehow manages to rival or at least stand equal to Combine tech - and we're talking improvised crossbows that shoot superheated rods of rebar at the target compared to high-tech rifles that can discharge orbs of pure dark energy. The collapse of the entire Citadel is basically set into motion as a result of a cobbled together Rebel device placed into extremely capable hands.

The events of the Portal games are a case of extremely elaborate machinelike planning versus pure human improvisation, with Chell's entire escape in the first game involving her simply weaseling her way through small cracks that GLaDOS missed while setting up her ambushes, eventually turning her own rocket turret against her to destroy her.

I suppose you could argue this falls flat in Portal 2 with Wheatley, but it's important to remember he's designed to be an utter idiot, so it's safe to say he wouldn't obsess over the larger picture like GLaDOS to the point where he fails to see the cracks. Yes, he's the one that breaks Chell out of the test chambers again, and yes, he's the one that came up with the sabotage plot - but it's important to note while he knows what to target in the sabotage, when we actually get there he doesn't quite know how to sabotage it, leaving Chell to figure it out on her own. She botches the Turret Quality Control Line with some minor guidance, but it's basically completely up to her to figure out how to cut off the Neurotoxin Supply. It's through her improvisation that Wheatley even manages to get into GLaDOS' chamber, tumbling through her neurotoxin vent and shattering the glass cage she trapped Chell inside of. It's through Chell's improvisation that the Core Transfer even occurs in the first place.

The script is flipped specifically when Wheatley takes charge, because oops - turns out a mind capable of focusing on the bigger picture might be pretty important when it comes to running an entire facility powered by it's own Reactor. Wheatley just completely zeroes in on his own personal pleasure, hacking up test chambers and the objects within them to try and figure out the easiest way to get his solution euphoria as quick as possible.

Still, something that's pretty interesting is that only Wheatley has ever managed to create a trap that's impossible to foresee and avoid, something GLaDOS has repeatedly failed to do to the point she ends up commending him. I believe this is because his way of thinking is a lot closer to Chell's compared to GLaDOS'. He puts up way more of a fight as the two run through the facility trying to get to him, seemingly improvising on the spot just like Chell has been over the course of the two games. Even his lair would be impossible to survive if it weren't for a single Conversion Gel pipe he somehow failed to notice and remove.

Whether in a laboratory deep beneath the soil or an alien tower tall enough to split the clouds, the ingenuity of even a single person is enough to topple a tower or destroy a supercomputer 3 times over.

Marc Laidlaw put what I'm trying to say into a single sentence when writing for the BreenGrub twitter account:

"The superstructure is riddled with cracks."

#portal #portal 2 #half life #half life 2 #hl #hl2 #aperture science #black mesa #the combine #GLaDOS #Wheatley #Chell #rambling #i think this is what happens when you've been having thoughts about a game franchise like . since birth

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winchesterwild78 · 6 months ago

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Happy New Year

Master List

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader, mentions of Danneel, reader’s husband, and other people.

Warnings: SMUT!, cheating (I don’t condone it-this is FICTION), praise kink, breeding kink

A/N: I’m currently on medication for a Sinus Infection, Bronchitis and Walking Pneumonia. The steroids really screw with my brain. This little nugget of a story came to me last night.

I don’t condone cheating, this is fiction. Please don’t come at me.

This story has SMUT and not much of a story line if it’s not your thing please don’t read it.

Jensen and Reader are co-workers and end up at the same New Year’s Eve party. Jensen and the reader find themselves alone and things unfold very quickly.

Written fast and not edited well. Please overlook any errors.

All work is my own, please don’t take it in any way. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated.

Minors DNI 18+

“Honey, we’re going to be late.” I called from downstairs to my husband. “I’m coming. I couldn’t find my wallet.”

“Wow, look at you. I love the dress. Is it new?” I blushed a little. How was I supposed to tell him it was a gift from Jensen? “Yeah. Just got it. Figured I’d wear it tonight.”

“Well it’s very nice.” His tone changed a little. “Are you okay?” I asked, trying to search his face.

“Yeah, I’m just not used to seeing you wear something like that and it’s a bit revealing.”

“Oh, yeah I get it. I can change.” “No, it’s fine. Just take a shawl or something. I know how you get when you drink and I don’t want everyone there seeing your body.”

I felt a little angry and insecure when he said that. Of course he always had something to say about anything I wore or ate or how I had my hair done.

I grabbed my shawl and purse. “Ready?” “Yeah I guess so.” I stopped at the door, “If you don’t want to go then don’t. I’m not making you go.”

“I know but these are your new coworkers and I want to meet them. Especially Erin. She’s a babe.”

I rolled my eyes. I had been newly hired by Eric to write for the show and I��d met the cast and crew. My husband was completely smitten by Erin. She’s so sweet, and didn’t want him.

We arrived at the party about an hour after it started. The house was huge and filled with so much energy. Eric greeted us at the door and took my stuff. My husband was less than thrilled when I handed my shawl over.

He scanned the crowd and found Erin. “Come on, let’s go say hi.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards her.

She was talking to someone when we walked up, but when she saw me she squealed, “Y/N! You made it. I’m so happy you’re here. Oh and you brought a date.” She smiled and looked at my husband. “Honey, this is Erin. Erin, this is my husband.” She extended her hand, “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.” She shook his hand and the bastard kissed the back of her hand, “Nice to meet you too. I’ve heard so much about you. God you’re gorgeous.”

They started chatting and I excused myself to grab a drink.

I walked up to the bar, ordered my drink and felt my phone buzz. I pulled it out and saw a text.

Jensen: That dress looks fucking hot on you.

I blushed, bit my lip and looked around. There he was, standing off to the side, whiskey in hand and looking incredible.

Me: I guess you’ve got good taste. 😉

Jensen: Yeah I do. I see your husband is here chatting up all the ladies.

Me: Yeah. Is D here?

Jensen: Yeah somewhere. No doubt she’s trying to weasel her way into the show.

I laughed out loud.

Me: So should I offer to write a part for her or not?

Jensen: Please don’t. If you do that we can’t have our afternoon writing sessions in my trailer. You wouldn’t want to mess up those, would you?

My cheeks burned red hot thinking about all those “writing sessions” we had.

Me: Oh god no. Those are my favorite part of the day.

Jensen: Me too. 1st floor bathroom in 5 minutes. I need to see that dress up close.

Me: I can’t wait.

I could feel the arousal and anticipation building. I saw my husband making his way around the party. No doubt flirting his ass off and trying to get laid by a celebrity.

I went back up to him and told him I was going to the restroom. He waved me off. He was currently talking to one of the extras from the Herogasm episode.

I walked down the dark hallway and found the first bathroom. The door was closed so I knocked our knock. The door opened and Jensen pulled me in.

His lips crashed on mine as he pushed me on the door. One hand pinned mine above my head while the other explored my body.

He pulled back panting. “God you’re so fucking beautiful and this dress, holy hell you’re hot.”

Jensen’s lips trailed down my body and I shivered. His hands grabbed the hem of my dress and pulled up above my hips. Exposing my soaked panties to the chilly air. His fingers slipped between my legs and found the dampened fabric. He smirked.

“Damn baby you’re already ready for me.” His fingers moved the fabric to the side and he found my soaked entrance. Pushing two fingers in, I gasped.

“Mmm there you go baby. You like that don’t you? Taking all I have to offer like the good girl you are.”

I got wetter. Something about Jensen praising me just turned me on more.

“I’m gonna fuck a baby into this pussy. Let everyone know who you belong to. You’d like that wouldn’t you?” His fingers pumped faster as his thumb found my clit. “First you’ve got to cum for me. Cum on baby. Let go. Let me feel you come undone on my fingers.”

He pushed further in and hooked up. Hitting that soft spot deep in my core. My hands were holding on to his shoulders as his hot breath drifted over my body.

“Jens, I’m close. Oh fuck baby! Right there.” “Cum for me baby. I want to feel you.” My body responded to his command and I came hard. Moaning loudly, his lips covered mine. “Shh, you have to keep it down baby.”

He kept rubbing and my body was so overstimulated.

“Come on baby, I know you have one more in there. I need to make sure my girl is satisfied.

My heart fluttered in my chest, “my girl” oh how I wished it was true. I’d give anything to be his girl, and not just his mistress.

I was close again, and he felt it. He stopped and a whine escaped my lips, “it’s okay baby. I’ve got you.” I heard his zipper and his belt. My hand found his hard member and I pumped him a few times. I dropped down and took him in my mouth. Sucking and licking his cock like it was the only thing keeping me alive.

His hands fisted my hair, and he pushed my face down his cock. The sounds in the bathroom were pornographic and full of want and need. We knew what we were doing was wrong, but anytime we were together, nothing, nobody else mattered. It was just us, raw, and unfiltered.

He pulled me off of him and turned me around. He gently laid my stomach on the counter, facing the sink.

“You ready baby?” I nodded. He sunk his hard cock into my soaked pussy with one hard thrust he bottomed out. We both gasped and he gripped my hips. “Fuck baby, you’re so tight. I fit perfectly inside you. We were made for each other.”

My mind drifted to the fantasy I kept hidden deep inside. The one where I was his and he was mine, completely and out in the public eye. I had fallen in love with him, but kept it to myself.

Anytime I was in his arms I felt like I was the only thing that mattered to him. Even if it wasn’t true.

He lifted my head up to meet his gaze in the mirror. “There she is. My beautiful girl. God I could get used to this. I want to fuck a baby into you. Mark you forever as mine.” I bit my lip and stared into his darkened green eyes. “Do it, Jensen. Make me yours. Fuck a baby into me.”

He smirked and his hips snapped harder into me. He pulled out, spun me around and lifted me onto the counter.

His lips crashed on mine and his hand slipped between us, finding my engorged, sensitive clit. He began to rub, “Cum for me again, baby. Cum on my cock.” Just as I was about to cum there was a knock on the door. We froze.

“Um just a minute.” I was able to squeak out. “Y/N?” I froze and looked at Jensen. It was Danneel. “Yeah, hey D.” “You haven't seen Jensen have you?”

He looked at me and smirked, I bit my lip. Then the bastard started kissing down my neck and rubbing my clit again. “Um, no. I haven’t. Not since earlier.” My voice was shaky and Jensen smirked the whole time. Bastard.

“You okay, Y/N? You sound off.” “Yeah, D. I’m just feeling a bit hot and flustered. Must be the alcohol.” “I get it, well, see you later. Bye.”

When we heard her walk away I slapped Jensen’s chest. He laughed, “You’re a good actress too.” “Jensen, you’re terrible.” “Yeah, but you love me.”

My eyes flicked up to his. I didn’t know what to say. My heart hammered in my chest and before I could stop myself I said the first thing that came to mind, “Yeah I do. More than you know.”

His eyes softened and he kissed me softly. His thrusts became softer, and his hands more gentle. Something in him flipped when I said what I did. My mind is running all the scenarios all at once. Did I just screw this up? Is this the last time in his arms, is that why he’s going slow? What is this going to do to our professional relationship?

I felt the familiar tightness in my core, and I knew he felt it too. Jensen kissed my lips and whispered in my ear, “Cum for me baby. Let me feel your walls tighten around my cock.” He kissed me as I came. Moaning in my mouth.

I could feel he was close. His pace picked up and as he came he locked eyes with me and his lips crashed on mine again. I could feel his seed coating my walls.

We had always been so careful, but at that moment neither of us cared. As he softened he pulled out and grabbed some tissue to clean us both up.

We didn’t speak. Just catching our breaths as we got dressed again.

My heart ached. I felt like this was it. I screwed it up when I professed my love for him. Before turning to leave I looked at him. His green eyes are lighter and full of so much desire and questions.

“Jensen. I’m sorry. I just got swept up in the moment. I didn’t mean to make things complicated.”

Jensen’s hands softly lifted my face and he cupped my cheeks, “You didn’t make anything complicated, but did you mean it?” My eyes looked deep in his and I swallowed hard. I bit my bottom lip and I took a deep breath. “Yes. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you, it just happened.”

His lips landed on mine, shutting me up. When he pulled away, his lips still ghosting mine, “Good, because I love you too.”

Part 2

Tags are open, if you want to be added or removed, let me know.

Tags:

@nescaveckwriter @kr804573

@k-slla @jackles010378

@jawritter @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx

@roseblue373 @cheynovak

@jassackles @chriszgirl92

@suckitands33 @arcannaa

@n-o-p-e-never @ladysparkles78

@smoothdogsgirl @hobby27

@manicjk @stoneyggirl2

@deans-spinster-witch @snowayumi

@shadowqueen1318 @shanimallina87

@muhahaha303 @fitxgrld

@nancymcl @baby19sthings

@cheekygirl2309 @oceean

@kindollss @foxyjwls007

@lmg14 @cevansbaby-dove

@spxideyver @reignsboy19

@deans-baby-momma @deansimpalababy

@ladykitana90 @quietgirll75

@superrey @kamisobsessed

@obliviousap @ninii-winchester

@mischiefnevermanaged89-blog @whimsyfinny

@bobbdylan @star-yawnznn

@reignsboy19 @monkey-d-hoshizora98

@depressionbarbie2023 @livingdeadblondequeen

@mandee7 @barnes70stark

@spnaquakindgdom @djs8891

@pughsexual @spnaquakindgdom

@lunaleah

#hes gorgeous #so damn sexy #jensen ackles #jackles #jensen ackles x plus size reader #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles smut

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pupyuj · 1 year ago

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waitt im j thinking w recent mean girl wony she’d be the type to leave yn there but then she’d get jealous seeing that yns new shirt is another girl’s 😭😭😭

revisiting this wony to do this ask hehehe good times!

we all like our mean girls vicious and jealous right?? well that's exactly what this meanie wony is like! she'd see you talking to your friends and ignoring her again like the two of you didn't fuck twice in the same night and she'd get sooo upset 🤭🤭 pouting and glaring as you went about the entire morning not looking at her 😭 she did like how you stiffened up whenever you caught her staring at you and checking you out, and how you'd awkwardly pull your collar up just so you can hide the marks she left on your chest... but wonyoung was going to make you didn't have to work so hard to hide them anymore next time! 😵‍💫

the next time in question being in her car?? she's got you trapped between the backseat and herself, her fingers knuckle-deep inside your cunt and her mouth working on your nipple,, and she's doing this while parked on your driveway btw! not at all caring if an innocent stranger was passing by and saw the two of you 😳 oh yeah and that shirt you borrowed from a friend after she messed up yours last night?? well that would be torn off your body and thrown mindlessly somewhere else!

"should've known.. hah... that you'd weasel your back into acting like you don't want me even after all of that..." ugh she'd absolutely leave bite marks all over you as a way to take out her anger 😩 she's obsessed with how your tugging on her hair and that hold you got on the back of her neck, never knowing if you want to push her way or pull her closer... and how you've locked your legs around her thighs just to keep her close to you and fuck you in that ruthless way you've come to like overnight 🫣 she's dragging her long fingers in and out just to make those sweet moans of yours bless her ears... staring at you with only pure lust in her eyes while she sucks and nips at your hard buds...

oh yeah and she'd definitely sit down on the seat herself and make you ride her fingers! just letting you rock your hips into her hand and if i tell you she'd find some use for her other hand and tease your other hole? 🥰 relishing at how you felt tight on both holes... oh she has to properly ruin you in her majestic, king-sized bed one day, she needs to!! and wony doesn't care that you've made a mess out of her little outfit by squirting all over her... normally, she'd make a fuss about it but she couldn't find it in herself to do that with you when you looked so beautiful all fucked out right above her 😋

wony definitely gives you a spare sweater she has in her bag, telling you that you'd have to pay the two-hundred dollars she spent it on it in full if you got even a spot on it while you're borrowing it 😭 seeing your figure so small in her oversized sweater gives her ideas though.. she'd definitely love to fuck you while wearing her clothes... and maybe in an outfit she put you in! she'll save all of that for the future though... 👀

#ive smut #ive x reader #ive imagines #ive x fem reader #jang wonyoung smut #jang wonyoung imagines #jang wonyoung x reader #jang wonyoung x fem reader #wonyoung smut #wonyoung imagines #wonyoung x reader #wonyoung x fem reader #girl group smut #girl group imagines #girl group x reader #girl group x fem reader

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resident-idiot-simp · 4 months ago

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Ok idea Avengers or at least some of them are sent to scope out sister Margarets and stumble across Wade, Logan and Laura

Ft: @orcadork4ever

Clint and or Nat going for a mission since they are familiar with the underground. They are wearing a camera so the others can see and an ear pice.

Walk in and see Wade and Logan at the bar or alternatively see them walk in.

They are sitting at the bar with one leg each intertwined and Wade's hand on Logan's thigh. Wade Is bitching to weasel about why the bar stools have to be so far apart. And Weasel's calling him a fucking idiot. "You're not the only ones that sit in those stools dumbass. Not everyone wants to be on top of each other. You can The obnoxiously in love in a booth if you have to. But I swear to Christ Wade if I catch you two doing anything in this bar I'm shooting you."

"Aww Weasel you're so nice to us."

"I mean it Wade."

Weasel give them a lineup of jobs and they pick out one for them and one for Laura. All the while the Avengers are just trying to figure out who these people are

Od:

Steve: Is… Is that James?!

Bucky: No fucking way, it’s not him. squinting Holy shit I think it is…!

Me:

Tony confused: What the hell are you talking about who the fuck is James?

Steve points on the holographic screen: Him .... maybe or could be his son or I guess grandson... We served in world war 2 with him

Bruce:.... Say it is him Why the hell is he a mercenary bar and who's the guy he's with?

Bucky:... I mean... To be fair he always did feel kind of like a mercenary so it's not that far-fetched..

Od:

Wade immediately clocking Natasha and Clint and pulling them into a booth with them.

Wade: Oh! Em! Gee! Long time no see you two~ What brings you down from the silver tower to slum it in this piss hole?

Clint: We know you?

Wade: Maaaaybe. At least professionally. Huge fan of you both be tee dubs.

Natasha blinking surprised because… this guy talks with his hands, yeah, but… he’s actually signing. For Clint.

Me:

Oohh or/and another fun idea I had is that Logan can also hear the voice is over the coms so he's really confused and intrigued what they're doing here of all places

The avengers over the coms being consumed with how much bot men are drinking. Unsure is they are just going to fall over and die due to alcohol poisoning

Od:

Wade: talking to them both

Logan: finally says something You know it’s rude to gossip when other people can’t hear you.

Tony: What the fuck?! Can he hear us?!?!

Logan: If you’d stop yelling, yeah, bub, I can hear you. But Wade can’t. So it’s rude.

(I still imagine that Peter knows Wade because of Team Red)

Wade: Wait, the other Avengers are there?! Omg Hiiiiii! Is my sweetie Pete-ie there?

Me:

Tony is about to have a breakdown. How the hell do these mercenaries know his kid and how the hell can one of them hear them all?

Logan pats Wade patronizingly: Calm

Wade: But Lolo

Logan growls

Clint and Natasha sharing a frightened we are in danger look

Od:

Wade: 😩 fiiiiiine. Buzzkill. See if I suck your dick later, dick.

Logan: You still will.

Wade: Yeah, I will~ 😘 Anyways, whatever you’re looking into, we’ve probably got more intel about it than you do. So have your people call our people and we’ll figure it out~ aka tell Petey Pie to text me and we’ll coordinate when and where to meet. And before he asks, we’ll see if Laura can come. Though she has exams this week. To be fair though, one of them is for Summers and she doesn’t need to study or anything. She’ll probably just kick him in the dick and call it a day. downs the rest of his bright blue and glittery drink, licking the umbrella stick clean before tucking it behind Logan’s ear like it’s a flower You ready, Peanut? I wanna get ice cream before we go home. And we promised Al we’d pick up her order.

Me:

Logan downing the rest of his whiskey: fucking sure what else am I going to do?

Wade: THAT'S THE SPIRIT!

Wade drags Logan out of the bar after yelling to weasel to put it on his tab

Tony:.... What was that who were they?

Clint:....I don't know but I feel like I really should

Natasha: ditto....

Bucky:.. that was definitely James right

Steve: There's no way it wasn't

Bruce: I'm sorry I'm still confused how they know Peter

Od:

Tony: FRIDAY, call Peter.

FRIDAY: Peter will be arriving momentarily. Should I still call him?

Tony: No. We’ll ask when he gets here. You two should head back, too. We’ll keep you on coms so you’re in the loop with what Underoos says. Speaking of.

Peter: Hi Mr. Stark! Hey guys. What’s up?

Tony: Parker. I need you to tell us how this man not only knows who you are but knows that you’re Spider-Man and that you text with him!

Bruce: Tony, breathe before you have an aneurysm.

Me:

Peter looking at the screen: OH Wade yeah.. oh shit is that Logan I haven't seen him before only heard stories.

Tony turning bright red: HOW DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE IN A MERCENARY BAR?!

Peter distractedly while getting out his phone to text Wade: Because we team up sometimes.

Peter: Wait go back the bar? Why was anyone in Sister Margaret's?

Bruce holding Tony back

Tony: HOW DO YOU KNOW THE BAR?!

Peter: Wade talks about it all the time. That's like his home base. Oh did he say If Laura was going to come?

Tony nearly in tears: Who is Laura exactly

Peter: Their daughter

Tony :

Od:

Bucky: rewinds the video so Peter can just get up to speed

Peter: watches what they’ve all seen. Snorting a laugh at the dick sucking comment and nodding at the explanation of Laura’s exam Yeah, she probably will. Awww, they’re so cute together! No wonder he’s over the moon for him. phone chimes with a loud audio tone of YEET How’s tomorrow work for everyone for a meet-up?

Tony:

Tony: Peter. I’m going to ask you again and I need a clear answer. Who are these people and how do you know them?

Peter: Well, Wade I know from Team Red.

Thor: Team Red?

Peter: Yeah, we’re the three vigilantes who wear red in New York. It’s me, Daredevil, and Wade. Deadpool.

Me:

Tony: DEADPOOL?!?!?

Peter: Yeah Wade's funny

Peter: Anyways if you want Wade can have Weasel open the bar for us early so we can talk there on somewhat nutual ground. Wade's suggestion though I'm not wholly unconvinced this isn't so Logan can drink

Bruce:.. can he just make that happen?

Peter: I mean yeah.. Weasel is one of his best friends. They also probably want to cash in whatever job they're going to do tonight.

Thor: I must say I wasn't expecting you to be a friend a mercenary.

Peter: I mean I don't like that he kills people but it's not like he's doing the world any harm. He only kills bad people

Od:

Tony: He still kills people!

Peter: but only like really bad people. Like, people even we’d want to kill if we had the chance to. They even do the jobs the X-Men don’t want their names attached to.

Tony: I’m sorry, back up, where the fuck do the X-Men come into this?!

Peter: Well, Logan’s The Wolverine. And Laura’s going to Xavier’s.

Tony:

Me:

Alternatively

Peter: What do you mean where do the X-Men come in?? Who do you think Logan is?

Avengers:.... We don't know

Peter face palms: I'll give you a hint he has claws

Avengers:.... No

Peter: Yes. Anyways Wade has been over the moon since they got together considering Logan was one of his childhood heroes. Anyways Laura also goes to school at Xaviers

The next day

Peter walking into the bar with the avengers in toe

Wade is sitting on the bar top and yammering about anything and everything.

Logan is sipping on whisky between Wade's legs. Laura is sitting on a stool a few seats away from the two looking amused and drinking a glass of her own.

Weasel is behind the bar rolling his eyes and checking over a gun.

Peter to Laura: Your not old enough to drink

Laura flipping him off: Papá doesn't care besides it's not like it will do anything to me. He wouldn't let me drink that much

Logan: course I wouldn't you won't end up like me if I can help it. Besides Wade does coke you can drink some damn alcohol

Od:

Wade: hooking his legs around Logan’s back and leaning back on his hands It helps me focus! And it stays in my system a fuck of a lot longer than Adderall or Ritalin do! taps Logan’s head Duck. leapfrogs over his head and back to the floor, coming over to give Peter a hug Hi Petey~ How did that book report presentation go?

Peter: Hi Wade. hugs him back It was good. The teacher really liked that analysis bit about patriarchy you nudged me to.

Wade: What can I say, it’s a bullshit reading of the story, but professors eat that shit up.

Me:

Avengers looking back and forth between then bewildered

Weasel: I could give less of a shit what you all do just don't fucking break anything

Logan: We won't dont worry

Laura: As long as these two idiots don't fight gestures between Wade and Logan it won't be an issue.

Logan indignantly: HEY!

Laura: Am I wrong?

Logan:.....

Laura: uh huh

Logan: where the hell did you get that attitude?

Laura: I'm looking at it

Logan:....your so lucky I love you

Laura: Whatever you say Papá

Wade: Ignore the bickering Wolvies take a seat get a drink if you want. Spin is your tale embellish if you must.

Natasha and Clint distinctly sit as far away as reasonable

Peter sits next to Laura and Tony with Bruce take a seat near to the bar. Thor takes one of the barstools.

Tony hesitantly: We are looking for a guy who is hunting down SHIELD agents

Wade: And that's a bad thing?

Peter: WADE

Wade: WHAT?! Most of them are bitches who want to screw with people's lives.

Od: Wade: Plus a good third of them are work for more than just SHIELD and that’s their cover. Do you know how shady you have to be for SHIELD to be your cover?!

Tony:... Wait what?

Wade: Yeah. Do you know the amount of people I've end up killing who had SHIELD badges and they were doing any kinds of horrific experimentation? Honestly it could be someone just hunting down the bed ones but I would need to check that.

Bruce: And how would you check that?

Wade: I know a lot of people. Also Dom could probably tell off of a look alone. Actually... Pulls out phone and clicks a few buttons DOM! my lovely fake enhanced person. Could I ask you a favor

Domino on speaker: sigh What the hell do you want Wade?

Wade: If I asked really nicely and bought you some drinks would you come down to Sister Margaret's right now and help me with something.

Dom:... This isn't a-

Wade: It's not that just a mystery that I think you could solve with your fake superpowers.

Domino: You're buying me whatever I want at the bar

Wade: Sure whatever backdoors open

Domino: Give me 10 minutes hangs up

Wade: sigh Well there's that anything else noteworthy or do you just want to wait till she gets here?

Steve: Who exactly is she?

Wade: Old Team member with fake superpowers

Logan: Will you stop saying it's freak? We all know it's not.

Wade: I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY LUCK IS NOT A SUPERPOWER

Laura: I have not seen you beat her once at any game you've ever played

Wade: That's just chance It's not a power

Laura: Whatever you say Pop

Domino walks in 8 minutes later

Wade: YOU SAID 10

Domino: Well I got lucky

Wade:

Od: Laura:

Me:

Peter looking up at her with wide eyes: I haven't met you yet Ms. Domino. I'm Peter

Domino: Aawww your Peter? Wade how dare you have kept me away from this kid he's adorable!

Wade: Because I know you would steal him from me

Domino: And you're right he's mine now

Od:

Tony: No one is stealing anyone!

Wade: Calm down, Iron Daddy, we’ll figure out split custody.

Steve: Is that you, James?

Logan: Rogers. Barnes. Good to see you again. Even though I’m not the James you knew.

Bucky: How…?

Logan: Practically immortal. And I’m from another universe. It’s a whole Thing™️

Me:

Peter nodding along: I have heard the abridged version and can confirm it's a whole thing

Wade: Ok anyways before we go down that rabbit hole can you explain to Dom here the situation.

Bruce does just that

Domino: Get me some pictures and I'll get you answers.

Tony impressed: yes ma'am

Logan and Laura are muttering to eachother while Wade takes back his place on the bar and gets another drink from Weasel.

Laura: Are you two going to drink away your paycheck?

Logan: Fucking maybe depends on how this goes.

Wade: What peanut said

Laura: sigh Al will kill you two

Wade: No she won't I have enough cash stashed around to buy a small island

Everyone but Tony (who's pulling up pictures as requested) is staring at them still in shock at the relatively new development of who exactly they are.

Logan just leans back onto Wade and in return Wade brings his unoccupied hand to pet through his hair. Logan purrs contently and only purrs loudly when Wade wraps his legs around Logan's chest to pull him further back into him.

Laura fake gags but continues to sip on her drink.

Peter eyes the drink before making puppy eyes at Tony.

Peter: Mr Stark can I have a drink too?

Tony: Hell no your underage and I'm not aiding and abetting you in that.

Peter: You were drinking at my age.

Tony: Yeah and I shouldn't have been.

Peter: but I have similar regeneration to Laura

Laura snorts: No you don't Parker besides I'm older than you

Peter: By two years!!

Laura: Exactly besides I mean it when I say the alcohol doesn't affect me in the slightest. I'd have to drink like half a bottle in a matter of minutes for that

Logan: Trust me it ain't gonna do shit besides she deserves some reward for putting up with her finals. And who the hell am I to tell her no?

Wade: Ah yes my grumpy alcoholic

Logan: FUCK OFF you know damn well I've layed off

Wade: I know honey badger I know and I'm proud of you for it

Od:

Wade: stage whispers to Peter Don’t worry, I’ll bring the good shit next patrol~

Peter: grins and bounces

Tony: What stuff? You’re not giving him anything!

Wade: Calm your tits, it’s just edibles. Edibles that Beastie Boy engineered to actually work with a super metabolism. nods at the other super soldiers You two want any? If your PTSD is anything like Logie Bear’s, it’s the BEST after a bad nightmare. Nothing like getting stoned, watching Antiques Roadshow and eating ice cream.

Bucky: Honestly…Fuck it. Yeah, I’ll take some super weed.

Wade: Yes! That’s what I’m talking about! holds out a hand for a high five but doesn’t move from his spot wrapped around Logan. Grins wider when Peter leans over to high five Wade and then leans the other direction to high five Bucky Thank you, Petey Pie~

Me:

Tony:... Why are you corrupting my child

Wade: Because it's good for him. Got to prepare him for the real world

Domino: Anyways it seems to me all your dead guys were not innocent

Bruce: How do you know that by just looking?

Domino: the vibes

Clint: The vibes? We are deciding who's innocent and who's experimenting on people by vibes?

Domino: Yes

Wade: I promise you she's right. She always is She's also not allowed to vote in the Dead Pool because of this.

Weasel: Yeah because if we let her I go out of fucking business.

Domino: Anyways I want a margarita

Weasel: yeah sure whatever invite people to the bar I didn't agree to and then have me make them drinks.

Od:

Wade: You’re still getting paid. And you could’ve said no.

Weasel: scoffs No I can’t~ starts making her drink Anyone else want anything?

Me:

Domino: I could have brought Cable

Weasel groans: Small miracles

Weasel takes a few others and grumbles the whole time.

Wade: Would it make you feel better if I took the rest of the gold cards off your hands?

Weasel: You know what yes actually do that it'll save me the pain and letting the fucking idiots fight over them

Logan just groans

Logan: Fuck sakes Red what and you just agree too?

Wade: Money to cover Domino drinking me out of house and home.

Domino sips on her margarita pointedly

Natasha: back to the original point Who would be hunting down these SHIELD agents?

Laura: Do you want that alphabetized or order of how likely?

Tony:... You know you are so sassy

Laura: Gracias I get it genuine

Logan: fuck I'd do it for free. But it has to be someone who knows how to sniff out the fakers. Or it could be they all work under one organization.

Wade: That's unlikely the more people in one organization hiding in SHIELD the more likely they are to get caught.

Clint: So someone has to know. Could it be an inside job?

Wade: I mean that's definitely possible. But if you were sent to figure it out that means it's not common knowledge in the upper ranks. So this isn't some organized thing in the higher echelons to get rid of them. If it was me trying to kill them out I'd hire a lot of separate mercenaries or contract killers. Spread the evidence make it harder to trace. It was an inside job it could be from any level though the higher the more likely.

Avengers staring and disbelief as Wade goes over options

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eldritch-spouse · 5 months ago

Note

i-is it possible to get the full, delicious sex scene of this? uwu 'cause the idea of kalymir taking y/n frantically due to her matching his angel-killing-and-woman-in-robes-dream is so fucking hawttt https://eldritch-spouse.tumblr.com/post/769523379185319936/pinnie-pinnie-pinnie-pie-i-thought-of

[Yahoo, pain time!]

TW: NONCON; Gore; blood loss; delusional states; panic attacks; unhygienic moments; Kalymir's caps lock.

You didn't really have time to prepare.

It makes you think about how wars start, at times. How, in some circumstances, people are just outside performing their daily routines, before being subjected to unimaginable horrors at the hands of a force they'd never guess would show up.

Humans and monsters alike have always been tempted, it's natural, it's what leads to deals being established with those who aren't native to the surface. There had been rumors your city was hardly any different, and you've always thought that one day there might be consequences for the figures in power who think they can flirt with the fires- Pull the wool over the eyes of creatures who were made to deceive. Stories of high-ranking beasts unleashing punishment on those who break contracts always terrified you as a child.

There was no way to force judgement on them, their laws are different than ours, you sign and receive your goods on their terms, so any violations of protocol are also dealt with on their terms.

For all that childish fear your parents worked so hard to eventually snap out of you, they must be tearing their hairs off by now.

Because the very city you live in has angered a being so foul and tremendous that you felt the ground heat and shake before they even emerged.

Your night terrors couldn't have made this justice.

As screams rang ever closer, drowned out by belted roars and the horrid sounds of flesh being zipped apart, time seemed to slow down to a wounded crawl. You had barely the energy to breathe, forcing your head up towards the epicenter of the ruckus.

One look at him was enough to clamp your windpipe shut with terror. A sensation of vulnerability and hopelessness so nauseating that, when it finished raking down your spine, your stomach tightened into a marble and you held back your dinner.

That's no high-ranker.

That is so much more.

One of them. The embodiments, the focus points of each Ring, the demons who syphon all the sin around them like endless black holes of power. To provoke one of these things is to cast despair upon everything and everyone you've ever known.

This city will be nothing more than a corpse pile when he's done with it.

His generals -if you can call them that- spread out in a circle of gleeful gore. Smashing into crowds, letting no one escape their savagery and going as far as to toss each other people, playing volleyball with the lives of those they shame as weaklings. They seem equally as uncoordinated as they do strategic, hysteric with the freedom to cause as much death as possible yet still sharp enough to let none weasel out.

You've never seen a street get painted in red so fast.

Whatever chants and howls they emit do nothing but cause a ringing to take over your ears, buzzing into your brain. You can't even feel the tears running down your face.

You're outside of yourself in that moment. No longer a bystander in the massacre unfolding, you exist in a separate layer, watching it from above, everything muted to a much more bearable level.

Only the persistent, foggy sensation of touch keeps breaking that barrier. You try to shake it off, to ignore it, but it succeeds.

With a blink, the stench of innards and blood fills your lungs. You've become wet with crimson, things are now on fire. The force at your left ankle tugs again, some kind of gargle following, making you instinctively kick hard at whatever's grabbing you.

It was a man.

It is a man, more dead than alive, his lower body hanging but by a thread to the rest of him, so disfigured that you're sure adrenaline is the only thing powering his leaking, crushed body. When the force of your outburst makes him roll back, he heaves wordlessly, what you can only describe as a massive clot of blood pops out of his dismantled jaw. He stops moving.

And you vomit.

The shriek you let out felt like daggers through your acid-burned throat.

Louder still manage to be the cackles of the demons around, stopping to stare and taunt as if you're no more than a silly clown.

This mess, unfortunately, raises the attention of the entity you least want to think about. A spiked head bolts towards the general direction of the commotion, gluing itself to the miserable sight of you immediately.

Both of you freeze in burning time.

Where are his eyes...? A gaze of scorching intensity fixes you in place, but for the love of you, there seem to be no eyes on his gnarled face, just streaks of marred skin descending from a depraved crown of horns, and exposed teeth.

Aside from his hulking height, you can only focus on the sharp protrusions coming from his chest, the ones torn off his back and regrowing steadily, stalagmites of what you might guess to be bone. You wonder, briefly, sickly, if some of the scars on his form are from tearing these growths off.

When the rest of his body turns, when one heavy clawed foot steps forth, towards you, it must be towards you- It takes too long for you to react.

One step. Two steps. Three steps.

Something like incredulity in the way he moves, but not quite hesitation.

Then sprinting.

Even if the whole city were between you, it wouldn't feel like enough distance was established.

Your heart begins thunderously pumping blood everywhere, limbs throbbing with the energy of a lone rabbit in a wolf's den before blind instinct takes a hold of you.

You run faster than you ever have your entire life. Faster than you ever thought you'd be able to.

Frantic legs carry you through sharp debris that stab through your shoes, tripping past corpses and obstacles without landing on your face, dashing and batting everything away with no clear goal. You dare not scream, saving every bit of air for the blood cells racing in your organism.

Large wrathful demons mockingly stand aside, going as far as to cheer -Not that you can hear much with the ringing of your panicked ears- You don't need sound to feel the thump of gargantuan footsteps behind you.

Your chest tightens, physical effort making you spit like an animal when gasps become desperate inhales.

He's too fast, too large, too much- You're going to die.

A swipe of claws across your back disorients you, ripping through your shirt and leaving bleeding welts in its wake. Like a whipped horse, you can only try to run faster.

Not fast enough, however.

Maybe it's because you're in debilitating panic, maybe just because you could never physically compete with such a creature, but everything starts hurting, the muscles in your legs almost pulling wrong, slowing you down, the pain in your chest now a raging headache.

You could have never escaped the shove that throws you to the ground.

Didn't even have the energy to shield yourself.

A wave of agony spreads through your whole face when you make contact with concrete, you fear you might have broken something when blood bubbles from your nose.

" FINALLY. "

His voice barrels through your entire body. He doesn't sound one bit exhausted, not even strained, just mortifyingly excited.

The demonlord rolls you over without a crumb of resistance, your open-mouthed, panting visage weakly staring upwards.

Towering over you is death himself, you don't waste time thinking about how he'll torture you for his own amusement. You don't think at all, waiting for the first blow. Will he kick your ribs in? While he crush your face with a foot? Will he pick you up and twist you in two?

Instead, the massive monster tries to pull you up by the already torn collar of your shirt, growling when that doesn't work. He tears it off brutally, knocking out the air you'd been trying to catch. You're yanked up by the arms instead, likely because if he did that to your neck, your head would have popped clean off.

" WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR ROBES?! "

...

Robes?

A terrified mind races to understand.

You've never once come in contact with him, he's mistaking you for someone else.

The pain coursing through your arms and shoulders only allows you to grunt, not that he seems very intent in getting an actual response from you.

The Icon of Wrath looks around, easily throwing you onto something hard and vaguely chipped. You realize it must be hood of a car, perhaps a truck, from the way it squeaked upon impact.

No time is wasted as he traps you there, studying you for a pause. There's the sound of something slapping onto the ground, though you can't possibly see it from this angle. In fact, all you can see is his intimidating physique casting darkness upon you.

" THE FOOL I WAS. TO THINK YOU'D COME TO ME IN THE PERFECT CONDITIONS... "

You shiver, though it has nothing to do with temperature.

Something about the way you're being regarded screams trouble is coming. A whole new type of fear encompasses you.

" WHY HERE, OF ALL PLACES?! " A balled up fist slams so hard against the car hood that you're jostled up for a moment. " YOUR HOME IS NOT WITH THESE MAGGOTS! YOU BELONG IN WRATH, MADE AS MY TROPHY FOR THE AGE OF BLOOD I'LL BRING FORTH. "

What can your shaking mind even respond with?

" ... W... What? "

He doesn't deign your squeak of a noise worthy of attention, this rumbling sound emitting from his chest, loud and low, the rattle of a satisfied predator. All at once, he uses both hands to grab the hem of your pants, lifting your lower body when he tugs up and rends the fabric apart, easily peeling it out from under you.

Animal instinct kicks in before you even confirm the gravity of the situation, flailing and kicking with sore muscles.

The beast laughs, this racuous sound devoid of any care, amused, easily holding you down by the midsection while his dominant hand comes to rip senselessly at your shoes, your underwear, your bra. All of it goes flying back. You don't even notice the shards of glass that have stabbed into the soles of your foot.

" Stop! Stop! " The scream rips out your throat, a pathetic sob.

" YES... " He nods, confirming something to himself at the sight of your now bare body. You realize idly that he's allowing you to scratch and hit however you please, entirely unfazed.

Incredulously, disgustingly, he strokes a hand upon his dark, blood-soaked skin, then slaps a warm wet paw over your body. You don't understand what's happening until both meaty hands are caking you in blood.

There's a different quality to his breathing as he paints you in red, it becomes harsher, his chest heaves like a bull about to charge. The knowing revulsion within you causes you to jerk and attempt to weasel away, but every time you get on his nerves too much, he lifts and slams you against the car.

The third time he does that, a sting spreads across your spine, vision swimming. You decide it might not be a good idea to encourage this. It's all you can do not to shake too much while warm and sticky crimson is spread all over your form. He seems to be thinking as he does this, trying to imitate some kind of pattern, deciding the zones where you should be most covered in the gross, foul-smelling results of his slaughter.

Whose blood is this? Your neighbors'? Your friends'?

A bit of it wedges past your lips, you're glad your stomach has already flipped everything it had.

When he passes by your tits, both hands squeeze and roll too hard, catching your nipples in a sharp pinch that zings through your whole figure. Desperation has you opening your mouth to say something pointless, to plea, to cry, but all it does is whimper when you take note of the growth bulging his unique loincloth.

With neither shame nor hesitation, as soon as he notices where your gaze has fallen, the massive monster uses one hand to untie the cloth, toss it aside, revealing a length that nearly makes you feel lightheaded.

It's not just the comparative size, something he seems very eager to display, it's the barbs flaring underneath, no doubt meant to tear into any hole he claims and anchor his cock as deep as possible. The mental image of your body stretching disgustingly to accommodate it is sickening. He looks incredibly hard, you're sure that there's no give to his shaft, that it's heavy and unmanageable for most partners he attains.

Partners... As if this beast doesn't just grab people randomly like he's doing to you.

There's a snort, you realize he's studying the newfound horror on your face.

" YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME. " It's not a question. " I'LL JOG YOUR MEMORY, WHEN I RATTLE THAT FUCKING BRAIN OF YOURS- "

" H- Hu-?! "

In a blink, the Icon is blanketing you in a suffocating closeness, panting against your face as the hand that isn't pinning you by the ribcage darts to his cock and pumps aggressively. While the lurid sound haunts your ears, all you can focus on are his misaligned blade-like teeth. The bits of flesh caught between them when he no doubt bit sections out of people. A dark tongue hovers behind them, wet with drool and shimmering in excitement. His breath is far from pleasant, though there's hardly a way to escape it.

When your head turns in an attempt to abstract from the situation, he forces it back in place and hunches further to lick the mess on your ruined face. A scratchy, far too hot sensation that claims the red he previously caked you in, then bridges over your nose to collect the river that flowed from it when you fell.

The god-awful agony of that location being nudged has a scream belt out of you. Flailing legs thump uselessly against his thighs, your foot nudging his dick at some point. Fuck if he cares. All force you have goes into slapping and scratching at his head, another fruitless effort seeing as he doesn't even flinch. It gets him to stop assaulting your face, to bite your right hand instead.

It wasn't too hard. You know he has the force to tear it right off, to sever all those ligaments and tissue. All he does is give you a taste, aggravate your suffering, cackling at your shriek.

It feels like your extremity's been crushed, fingers struggling to move when a frightening numbness sets in.

Your intact hand has no direction and no goal, furiously swiping at his neck in hopes that it would get him to back away. You mostly succeed in chipping nails.

The demon groans however, apparently incensed by the effort.

" FIESTY LITTLE FUCKTOY CAN'T WAIT FOR MY COCK, CAN YOU? "

...

He's interpreting your fight in the worst way possible.

" I'LL MAKE SURE IT'S ALL YOU GET WHEN WE'RE HOME. "

Home? Home?!

As soon as your bitten hand regains some feeling, the avalanche of trepidation within you just at the implication of being taken to Hell -to this beast's dwelling- makes you swing as swiftly as you can towards his jaw. A punch that pops the fluid between your aching joints yet hardly molds his rictus.

You try everything. Bruising your arms, letting the pain flare through them. There's little hope in your motions by the time you curl both fists around the horns sticking out his head, yanking aimlessly.

" TEAR THEM OFF! " He demands, the want in his insufferable voice utterly transparent.

You can't.

You pull and twist and try to snap them off his skull, but the protrusions stay lodged there as a crown of morbid victory.

" BAH- THE SURFACE HAS MADE YOU WEAK. ANOTHER THING I'LL HAVE TO FIX. "

The demonlord's disappointment is palpable, though enthusiasm quickly replaces it, you can't disappoint him enough to avoid being assaulted, it seems.

His focus shifts to your nethers. You're anything but wet, though he pays no mind to it, suddenly pushing your hips apart so he can frame your pussy.

" TINY FUCKING THING. " He chuckles, observing your fear-clenched hole.

Clawed thumbs trace the rift of your entrance casually, on occasion nudging the bud above in lazy rolls. It's not as if you wish to get aroused, the amount of pressure he uses behind every motion is just inescapably stimulating. The first jolt of your hips, entirely reflexive, is rewarded with a wanton hum.

He slips a thumb inside with some resistance, then the other. You can only wince at the stretch, alarmingly aware of how those claws might slice through your vaginal walls if you shake too much. The fear causes you to tighten further, a painful feedback of sensation that appears to excite him.

A visceral hiss escapes through the gaps between your teeth when he pulls, spreading you out forcibly and mercilessly.

With no inch of lubrication to be found, a burning Hell settles and you start crying quietly again.

" I NEVER GOT A GOOD LOOK AT YOUR CUNT BEFORE... WONDER IF IT'LL FEEL BETTER! "

And that's all you get.

Hot-flashes have you sweating when his thumbs finally leave you alone. A thick tongue swings around, preparing a ball of spit that unceremoniously lashes against your genitals. You realize then that his spit is the only semblance of help you'll have to handle that torture device of a cock.

He slaps it on top of your mound, and you don't look down.

You don't want to see how much he'll hollow you out, don't want to see where it reaches, don't want to think about the weight and heat of it on top of your skin.

Your body... Your poor body. What evil did you commit to warrant this?

" I WANT YOU TO SCREECH MY NAME, THE SAME WAY YOU DID IN MY VISIONS. " He giddily reveals, dragging himself lower to line up properly. A foul maw leans to snarl in your ear. " KALYMIR. "

The sound echoes in your mind, adding to the stab of terror when the tip of his much-too-large dick prods at your entrance. You can't breathe, for a second, wondering how he thinks this is actually going to work, morbidly questioning if this is really how you'll die.

As soon as trepidation releases your lungs and the first crack of pain from his pushing arises, you babble hysterically.

" Stop! Oh God stop- I'm gonna die! "

Kalymir does pause, likely because the sound of fear must be arousing to him in some way. He's already smirking before you even say another word.

" Listen- I'll do anything, please I'll do anything, anything you want- "

" HAH. " Bold teeth get a coating of saliva, one brutish hand holding onto your neck just hard enough to silence the rest of your whining. " I WANT YOUR HOLES AROUND ME. "

Perhaps it was a small mercy that he rammed into you.

Maybe, if he was less excited, he'd have taken his sweet time pushing inside, dragging out the pain until your throat is hoarse from screaming.

All you feel is a flash of indescribable agony, vision going black and body tensing like a coil about to break. There's no direction to go and nothing comforting to hold onto as Kalymir's member carves its place within you.

This must be how vivisected bugs feel.

Writhing is all you're allowed.

Distantly, you realize you're bleeding. You can sense the way your torn body tries to lessen the pain, tries to lubricate itself, tries to contract in pulses meant to shove him out, yet only cause him to groan happily.

Every single time Kalymir throbs inside you, he presses into everything and offers a contradicting mix of feedback. There's the scorching of your poor insides begging you to remove the unwanted intrusion, and the creeping pleasure of sensitive spots being crushed into submission.

The monster himself looks vaguely out of breath, drooling openly onto your stomach while he recovers from the suffocating hold your body has around him. Kalymir cants his hips to somehow slide more of himself inside you, but there's no space left, he merely ends up sliding you back.

" LOOSEN UP ALREADY- " The Icon huffs, a note of incredible cruelty following. " OR WILL I HAVE TO FUCK YOU OPEN? "

You know those barbs aren't in use when he pulls back, and thankfully, your insides don't shred into ribbons.

There's no describing the vacant sensation of his retraction. The split second where air chills your abused hole as it tries to pitifully shrink anew, only to be rammed wide again in yet another nauseating piston.

He's too hot to handle, too rough, the mere contact of his war-hardened hide against your skin causes scratches and rashes from unrequited friction.

You wish you were wet. Maybe you are, but it's hardly enough. Only blood can periodically ease the torment of his jarring, mercilessly mechanic thursting. The truck hood bounces while he damn near crushes you to the vehicle, frantic claws finding purchase on squealing metal, perhaps mocking your own cries of pain.

The stimulus becomes too much.

No matter how hard you might want to alienate your mind from the situation, he won't let you. Kalymir's barking comments, the way he'll clumsily paw and grip at your softer sections, the press of teeth around a bare neck- It all stabs alertness into you, forces a figh or flight heave of primal panic whenever you so much as manage to vaguely dissociate.

Perhaps you instinctively can't abstract from this torment at all.

Kalymir yanks at your soul, chewing and tearing into it, all-demanding and all-consuming.

There's no escape from what's being done to you.

A confused body, unable to escape, fights for a different kind of preservation by drowning you in waves of arousal. It's unavoidable, you think through the slightly muted burning, it's predictable. You don't care to stifle the way your cries have shifted, don't try to mask twitching legs and curling toes.

You don't want this, you never wanted this, whatever is forced upon you isn't evidence that your mind has changed.

You just want it to end, really.

Ignoring your own creeping orgasm is impossible, though you try to focus on breathing evenly, shoving away his snarls of pleasure by listening to the squeak of the vehicle beneath you.

You're not too sure what you screamed when he hilted inside you in a telltale erratic grind, when you were claimed in a way so vile it chilled your bones. When it seeped out of your ruined orifice, onto the car, a pinkish hue that reminds you of sickly discharge.

The rest of it coated you, the monster grinning and huffing with pride at his work.

At this point, most of the pain you feel has become unreachable, replaced by an ambiguous throb of physical exhaustion and trauma. You cannot move, as if your limbs were made of cement and your back had rooted itself to the metal contraption beneath.

Yet your eyes still find Kalymir's face.

Inside them, burns an animal rage that creases your complexion into something borderline inhuman.

This demon will die by your hands.

Kalymir must have felt the silent, sweltering fury showering you from head to toe, releasing a delighted swoon as he picks you up like a soaked rag.

You wonder what Hell is like.

#Kalymir oc

84 notes · View notes

advisorykitty · 8 months ago

Note

Hello can I make a request? Did you watch the anime Bungo Stray Dogs because I want to request Randal with Reader like Elise. She was "created" by Randal and in the episode when Sebastian first appeared, Randal spent so much time with Sebastian that Elise!Reader was upset because he didn't attend the tea party the two usually held.

Spilled Tea

Elise! Reader x Randal

[Y/N] was furious.

Not the "I'm-going-to-yell-until-my-voice-goes-hoarse" kind of furious—no, it was the quiet, simmering kind that settled deep in her gut, like hot coals waiting for someone to poke at them. She paced the length of the hallway, arms crossed, glaring at the pristine white walls of Luther’s house as if they were the source of all her problems.

Why was she mad?

Because Randal—her dear, ridiculous creator—had once again forgotten their tea party.

It wasn’t like it was some casual thing they did. No, this was tradition. Every week, at the same time, they would gather in the little tea room, surrounded by dainty china and enough sugary snacks to make even Luther cringe. And what had Randal done? Ditched her. For Sebastian.

Ugh. Sebastian.

The new pet—awkward and always a little too stiff—had somehow weaseled his way into Randal’s good graces, and now Randal was all about Sebastian, he wasnt even that good of a birthday gift!. They spent hours together, playing games, talking about who-knows-what, while [Y/N] was left to brew tea alone.

She kicked at the edge of a rug as she stormed down the hall. The sound of her foot smacking the floor echoed, and she half-wondered if anyone was going to come check on her. Probably not. No one ever did.

"They’re all idiots," she muttered, tugging at the ends of her hair in frustration. "Every last one of them."

Just as she was about to storm back into the tea room and throw a cup for good measure, she ran smack into a figure.

Thud.

"Ow!" she yelped, stumbling back.

Nyon stood there, looking bewildered, his large always shocked eyes blinking in confusion. His hat—never removed—tilted a bit to one side as he scratched the back of his head, his fingers moving in a nervous rhythm behind him.

"S-sorry," Nyon muttered, his English broken as usual. "Didn’t see."

"Of course you didn’t," [Y/N] grumbled, rubbing her arm where she’d collided with him. "Nobody does."

"Why... angry?" Nyon asked, tilting his head, trying to figure her out.

"I’m not angry," she snapped automatically, then sighed when she saw his confused look. "Okay, fine. I’m mad. Randal forgot about me again."

Nyon’s expression didn’t change much, but he did take a step back, giving her some space. "Randal... distracted. With... Sebastian."

"Tell me something I don’t know," [Y/N] muttered. She slumped against the wall, crossing her arms tighter around her chest. "He never misses our tea parties. Until now."

Nyon shuffled his feet, clearly not knowing what to say. He wasn’t exactly known for being talkative or helpful in emotional crises. "You still... important," he mumbled.

"Yeah, well, that doesn’t help much," she sighed, feeling the irritation bubbling inside her again. "I feel like I’m just a side note to him now."

Just then, a voice echoed from down the hall.

"You’re still sulking, huh?"

It was Nyen.

He strolled in, smirking as he leaned against the wall. He was always ready to poke fun at her misfortunes. His arms were crossed, and his tone dripped with sarcasm. "What’s the matter? Can’t keep your 'CrEaToRs' attention?"

[Y/N] shot him a glare. "Shut up, Nyen."

"Oh, come on," he said, feigning sympathy. "Did you really think he’d stick around when he has a shiny new toy? How naive can you be?"

She rolled her eyes. "This isn’t just about being jealous, you know. It’s about feeling—"

"Emotional," Nyen cut in, mocking her tone. "Yeah, yeah. Next time, just grab Randal by the collar and drag him to tea. No one’s stopping you."

"Thanks for the advice, really helpful," [Y/N] retorted, but a small part of her appreciated his brazen honesty.

Before she could retort, Randal appeared at the end of the hallway, his usual cheerful demeanor shining through. "Y/N?"

He stood there looking a bit sheepish, as if he had just realized something was off. Sebastian hovered behind him, awkward and unsure, like he was trying to blend into the wallpaper.

"Randal," [Y/N] said, her voice tight with irritation. "Where have you been?"

Randal blinked, clearly confused. "I’ve been with Sebastian," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Why?"

She threw her hands up in exasperation. "Because we were supposed to have our tea party! Remember? The one we have every week?"

"Oh!" Randal’s eyes lit up in recognition. "Right! Our tea party! I forgot!"

"Of course you did," [Y/N] groaned, fighting the urge to scream. "You know, for someone who’s supposed to be my creator, you really suck at remembering plans."

Randal frowned, a hint of guilt creeping onto his face. "I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to forget fufu~"

"Ugh," she sighed, her irritation softening just a bit as she looked at Randal’s crestfallen expression. "Just... let’s have our tea party now, okay? I need some snacks and a distraction from all this."

"Yes! Let’s go!" Randal said, brightening up immediately.

As they started walking towards the tea room, Randal practically skipped to his chair, plopping down with a bright grin. Sebastian, however, hung back, hovering near the door.

"Uh, is it okay if I...?" he started, his voice trailing off as he glanced between Randal and [Y/N].

"Of course, you’re invited, Sebastian!" Randal chirped, motioning for him to join.

Sebastian hesitated, taking a cautious step forward. "I don’t want to interrupt your... thing."

"You're already interrupting it," [Y/N] said, rolling her eyes. "Just sit down."

He slowly approached the table, and as he sat, he looked like he’d just been sentenced to death. "Uh, thanks?"

"You can pour the tea," Randal said, practically bouncing in his seat.

Sebastian looked like he was about to protest but caught [Y/N]’s pointed look and reluctantly picked up the teapot. As he poured, he managed to spill a bit on the tablecloth, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

"Smooth move, Sebastian," [Y/N] called, barely holding back her laughter.

"Uh, I’m sorry?? .I—" he stammered, only to be interrupted by Randal.

"Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it!" Randal said, waving his hands dramatically. "Just make sure to keep it on the table this time!"

Sebastian sighed, trying to regain his composure. "I was trying to—"

"Just be careful, okay?" [Y/N] interrupted, smirking. "Last thing we need is you drowning in tea."

"Yeah, that would be—" Sebastian started, but once again, Randal cut in.

"Time for the ceremony! Everyone stand up!" Randal declared, his eyes wide with excitement.

Sebastian looked around, clearly perplexed. "Wait, what ceremony?"

"You never mentioned that," he said, trying to make sense of the situation.

"You should’ve asked before coming," [Y/N] said, rolling her eyes, though she couldn’t help but laugh. "It involves Randal being extra and making everyone uncomfortable."

"Yes!" Randal declared, grinning like a fool. "Everyone stand up!"

Sebastian stood awkwardly, clearly unsure of what to do. "Um... am I supposed to do something?"

"You just stand there and look pretty," [Y/N] said, nudging him with a playful grin.

"That’s really not my strong suit," Sebastian muttered.

As Randal began his ridiculous "ceremony," pouring tea into the cups with exaggerated flourishes, [Y/N] couldn’t help but feel a warmth spreading through her. Despite the frustration earlier, watching Randal be his usual weird self made her heart lighten. Even Sebastian's awkwardness started to feel like a welcome change.

Wait. No don't feel that way. Randal is your sole purpose!

As the laughter flowed, Randal suddenly paused, looking serious. "And now, we all make a toast! To tea, friends, and not forgetting our traditions!"

"To tea!" [Y/N] echoed, raising her cup with a smile.

"To—wait, do we have to toast?" Sebastian asked, looking caught off guard.

Randal shot him a wide-eyed stare. "Of course! It’s part of the ceremony!"

Sebastian sighed but raised his cup anyway. "To... tea."

"And to me!" Randal added, grinning madly.

As they all took a sip, Sebastian attempted to interject. "I was thinking—"

But Randal cut him off again, waving his arms. "No time for thinking! We need more sugar!"

Sebastian’s mouth opened, clearly about to say something, but Randal continued. "You know, if you mix the sugar with the milk just right, it tastes like—"

"Randal, I really—" Sebastian tried again, but Randal was on a roll.

"And don’t forget the cookies! They must be chocolate chip, or else they’re just eugh!!"

"Randal can i-"

[Y/N] quickly interrupted Sebastian again.

"Sure I'll go get the cookies!" She giggled and skipped to the kitchen, feeling happy about the passive aggressive revenge she had gotten on Sebastian.

It was his fault for interfering anyway.

#ranfren x reader #nyen catman #nyen ranfren #nyon ranfren #fanfic #nyon and nyen #luther von ivory #randals friends #sebastian ranfren #randal ivory

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cheeseroach · 1 month ago

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a fever you can't sweat out | poolverine

Tags: slowburn, swearing, sarcasm, fake/pretend relationship, breaking the fourth wall, pov logan, gay panic, domestic fluff, lack of communication, implied sexual content, everyone is gay, headaches & migraines, light whump (barely), mild hurt/comfort, dream sequence, dream kissing, domestic

Summary: This probably could've been brushed off as a joke, if Logan wasn't so accidentally good at being a boyfriend. Either way, it's an easy explanation as to why they moved in together, and it's not like Logan's gay or anything, and if he was, he certainly wouldn't be gay for wade. Wade is fucking annoying, even if he is really strong, and his eyes are probably Logan's favorite shade of brown, and he's the funniest person Logan knows, and sometimes when he's reaching for something on the ridiculously-high shelves of their apartment his shirt rides up a little bit and Logan keeps staring at his hipbones for some reason, and

oh no

Word Count: 2,435

A/N: This is crossposted from my AO3, and I plan on continuing it eventually!

01. Yup, That's Me. You're Probably Wondering How I Got Here

EXPOSITING TIME, NARRATIONLAND

Living with Wade is great, it really is, but Logan has a knee-bouncing, hair-pulling itch deep down in his bones that he can’t figure out how to scratch. Things are fine when they’re Deadpool and Wolverine. Actually, things are great when they’re Deadpool and Wolverine. It’s Wade and Logan that pose the problem.

Deadpool and Wolverine are a team. They’re fluid, moving as a unit. Deadpool and Wolverine don’t have to talk to get things done, so Logan doesn’t have to trip over his words and explain himself fifty different fucking times to assure someone that, no, he’s not pissed off, he just can’t fucking talk right and this is his resting face. Deadpool and Wolverine can get into a fistfight in the parking lot to figure out where they want to go for dinner, and Logan can go to bed that night tired out in a good way and knowing Wade will still put two people’s worth of coffee in the machine when he wakes up the next morning.

Wade and Logan are more complicated.

Wade and Logan have to figure out how to both be in the kitchen at the same time in the mornings when it was clearly made for Flat fucking Stanley and not two real life men with, as Wade would so delicately put, ‘fat fucking asses’. Wade and Logan have to go grocery shopping together, because Wade eats like a fucking college student with listeria and Logan has no idea how to meal plan portions for the two of them (plus Blind Al). Wade and Logan have to figure out how to avoid the topic of how they met, and why they moved in together so quickly. That was how they got into this situation, he supposed. That, and Wade running his fucking mouth, like he always did.

WAY TOO LATE, SOME FUCKING BAR

Logan can feel his skin on his bones. Wade had dragged him along to some dive bar with a ridiculously long name, saying it was “Time you meet the gang” and “Stop being such a Negative Nancy, Wolvie.” Turns out “the gang” was a bartender named after a rodent, but whatever, it doesn’t matter. Introductions were made, questions were asked, and now they were too deep to backpedal.

“Wait, tell me one more time? That doesn’t make any fucking sense.”

Wade groans, leaning back so dramatically he would’ve fallen off the chair if Logan hadn’t grabbed him by the small of his back (This was a near-daily occurrence, Logan was always ready). “You know what? You caught me. Here’s the real tale. I met Peanut here on Grindr, we fuck nasty on the reg, I finally bit the bullet and asked him to move in with me and Blind Al so she could bless our union. Happy?”

Logan sighs deeply, rubbing his temples in a preemptive attempt to soothe the headache he knew was coming eventually. Weasel stops moving momentarily, squinting across the bar at them, before shrugging and picking the glass he’d discarded up to continue cleaning it out, his voice incredulous. “Mazel. How long have you guys been together, then?”

“Certainly feels like fuckin' forever,” Logan snarks into his bottle, rolling his eyes. “One blissful year,” Wade interrupts without missing a beat, half leaning and half slumping over onto Logan’s shoulder, batting his eyelids.

The warm, consistent pressure of Wade’s arm against Logan’s is enough to send a zap of electricity down his spine, sending the hairs across the back of his neck standing on end and his knuckles clenching automatically around the bottle of whatever was cheap he’s been drinking.

“Christ, you’re warm,” Logan presses a hand to Wade’s forehead without thinking, his eyebrows crinkling together with concern. “Either you’ve had way too much to drink or you’re coming down with something.”

Logan swallows back a weird, fluttery feeling in his stomach as Wade blinks up at him, still lounging across his shoulder. Maybe they’ve both had too much to drink, because Logan doesn’t know if he’s ever noticed how many shades of brown are actually in Wade’s eyes.

“Jesus, maybe you guys really are together,” the bartender mumbles to deaf ears, blinking owlishly as Logan continues fussing over Wade. “He has been pounding back shots of glorified Red 40 all evening. Maybe you should take him home,” Weasel continues, now addressing Logan, and that’s all it takes for Logan to drain the rest of his bottle and start tugging Wade towards the door.

Wade whines and groans and stamps his feet like a toddler, but Logan manages to wrestle him into the back of a taxi only fifteen minutes and several hundred threats of bodily harm later, and Wade only pouts until he sees a cute dog on the sidewalk, so Logan figures he can’t actually be that upset.

EVEN LATER, SHITHOLE APARTMENT

“My knight in shining armor,” Wade sighs out dramatically, collapsing onto the couch and closing his eyes with his shoes still on, barely even sparing a pet to Mary Puppins as she trots over from her bed. Logan rolls his eyes, sprawling out next to him and tossing his own shoes over his shoulder to land somewhere in the door region.

“Yeah, yeah. Seriously, you’re runnin’ a fever or something. Somebody had to cut you off, and your bartender friend was too busy being lied to. Take your fuckin’ shoes off before you get dirt on the carpet.” By the end of Logan’s sentence, soft, steady snoring had already begun rumbling out from the other end of the sofa, a surefire sign Wade had fallen asleep nearly as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Logan rolls his eyes and pulls Wade’s legs up onto his lap to untie his shoelaces for him, grumbling all the while, and chooses to ignore the warm, static-electric feeling he got from touching Wade once more in favor of throwing a blanket in his loose direction, stumbling off to his own bedroom, and falling asleep in his jeans.

02. This Is Why I Don't Socialize

WAY TOO FUCKING EARLY, SHITHOLE APARTMENT

“It has come to my attention,” Wade pipes up from the living room, “That Weasel may not have known I was joking about us dating.”

Logan pauses for a moment where he was rifling through the fridge, turning around and blinking owlishly at Wade. “Come a-fucking-gain?”

Wade, sprawled out with his legs on the coffee table and still flipping through junk mail, shrugs, indicating where he’d been sorting through the pile of junk mail Logan had brought in after his morning run. “He left us a card. Says he’s sorry for being kind of a dick when I told him, and he’ll tell the guys at the bar to fuck off if they give us any trouble.”

Logan can feel pressure stewing in his eye sockets. “We have to tell him he’s got the wrong idea.”

Wade finally looks up at him, his forehead quirking up where there should be an eyebrow. “I dunno, I think it’s a pretty good out. If we’re being cagey about something, all we’ve gotta do is lay the PDA on thick and we can probably get out of it.”

Logan rubs his hands over his face, pressing on his eyes until they go staticy within their cavities. “Jesus fucking Christ,” he mumbles to himself, slumping against the kitchen counter slightly and raking his hand up through his hair.

“What, you’re telling me you wouldn’t tap this ass if you got the chance?” Wade pushes himself up from the sofa with a grin, striding over to the kitchen in a way that feels awfully like he’s caging Logan into it.

“You’re not my type,” he snaps back, sidestepping Wade in favor of moving to the coffee machine across the room to pour himself another cup. The way this morning is going, he feels like he’ll need it.

“Well why not?” Wade cries, sweeping his arms so wildly that his hands collide with the narrow walls of the enclosed space. “Is it the hair? Because I can pull the hair system back out, Yukio assured me it’s still in pristine condition.”

Logan grumbles, the throbbing tightness at the base of his skull climbing up behind his eyes. “No, and if I hear the words ‘hair system’ out of your mouth one more time I’m gonna cut your throat again, give me some peace and quiet.”

Wade stumbles back like he’s been struck, pressing a hand over his heart. “You wound me, Peanut! Seriously,” he continues, his grin dropping from shit-eating to only piss-drinking, “it won’t be that big a deal. I mean, acting like we usually do at the bar convinced Weasel, so we don’t even really have to do anything extra.”

Logan turns Wade with suspicion, and is stricken by how.. domestic Wade looks. He’s bundled up in a cartoonishly large and fluffy Hello Kitty robe, giving a lopsided smile and looking soft and unguarded in the way he usually does when he’s still dopey from sleep. The sight of him makes Logan’s heart do something funny in his chest, but he chooses to blame it on his headache and the third cup of coffee he’s about to drink.

Logan rolls his eyes, waving a hand dismissively. “Fine, fine. But if you try to kiss me I’m gonna cut your dick off in front of God and everyone.”

A pair of dimples shines at Wade’s cheeks as his smile grows, and Logan has to pointedly drag his gaze away, fixing it on Mary Puppins snoozing on a couch cushion as Wade continues talking. “Awe, Wolvie, you always know just what to say!”

JUST AFTER NOON, SAVE-A-LOT GROCERY STORE

“I think we’re out of milk,” Wade pipes up, startling Logan out of his daze as he tugged the now-crinkled shopping list from Logan’s palm. “Not that I’d know that, since you seem intent upon suffocating our stationary.”

“Sorry,” Logan grumbles, opening a cooler door to get a gallon of milk. “I’m just feeling off today.”

Wade adjusts his grip on the shopping basket, propping it up on his knee as he speaks. “Yeah, I had an inkling. You’ve been weird all day. You have one of those nightmares again?”

Already setting off down the aisle, Logan offered a noncommittal grunt in response. “Don’t remember. Been off my game since we went out last night, guess I just overdid it.”

Wade follows after him persistently, the rubber soles of his shoes squeaking slightly on the wet tile and the shopping basket thumping dully against his thigh as he walks. “Bullshit. I’ve seen you chug rubbing alcohol. You drink enough to knock out an elephant, there’s no way a couple of beers has you in a funk. What’s really going on?”

Logan rubs at the steady pounding in his forehead, squinting through the slight blur of his vision to grab hot sauce off the shelf and toss it over his shoulder to Wade without looking. “I told you, I just feel weird, I need some ibuprofen. Give it a rest.”

Wade rolls his eyes as he catches the hot sauce, but remains quiet (as much as he can be) on the subject. “I think that’s everything on the list. You wanna hit the pharmacy for your old man's ailments and then head home?”

Logan doesn’t bother responding before stalking off in the direction of the pharmacy.

SOMETIME AFTER DINNER, SHITHOLE APARTMENT

Logan is awoken from sleep by the genuine fucking agony he’s experiencing. He can feel the steady pulsing of his heartbeat in his brain, and when he opens his eyes, the dull flicker of the fluorescent light in the kitchen sends shocks of even more pain running through his body. He lets out a pained hiss, curling in on himself slightly - even that much movement coming with spikes of pain - and pressing his face into the couch cushion in some attempt to hide from the light.

“What’cha doin, there, Peanut?” Logan startles slightly, so occupied with the searing pain in his head that he’d hardly heard Wade come up. “Suffering, mostly,” Logan mumbles into the pillow, not daring to move. “Migraine.”

Wade lets out a wordless, knowing hum, and Logan half-listens as Wade moves through the apartment, pulling the blinds closed and flicking the light off.

When Wade approaches again, Logan can hear the dull rattling of pain pills in their bottle, so it doesn’t take much coaxing for him to sit up enough to take them. Logan dimly recognizes, as he’s gulping down a bottle of water that he had no idea he was so in need of, that his hair is plastered to his forehead with sweat. He can’t find it within himself to care when Wade is, while still speaking, speaking much less and much quieter. God is good.

“Alright, big guy, let’s get you to bed, get a nice cold washcloth for your forehead, yeah?” Wade is tugging him along, speaking in hushed tones and rubbing his back, and Logan almost wants to cry, although how much of that is from the white-hot pain still throbbing behind his eyelids, he doesn’t know.

He also doesn’t know if it’s the migraine, the pain meds, or the part of him deep inside that craves domesticity, but Logan lets Wade strip his sweat-soaked tank top from his torso and lay him down in bed, and he doesn’t pitch a fit when the cold rag Wade presses to his forehead drips water onto his face.

Later, Logan will attribute his dream to this disturbance in routine, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

When he wakes up, he dimly registers that the majority of his surroundings smell like Wade - laundry detergent, cigarettes, and cheap mexican food. There’s an arm wrapped around his torso - Wade’s, he’s sure - a warm, consistent pressure that soothes him like a weighted blanket. Wade’s breath is slow and measured against his shoulder, an easy pattern to mimic and sink into, and when Wade speaks, his voice is rough from sleep and reverberating through Logan’s bones, soaking through tissue and muscle and metal.

“G’mornin’, sunshine,” he says, and Logan can feel his smile against his skin. He rolls onto his side, blinking slowly up at Wade, and Wade presses their lips together in a soft kiss as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, morning breath and all. Logan feels something click into place, jigsaw-puzzle style, deep in his gut, and he finds himself smiling into the kiss, reaching an arm up to wind gently into the collar of Wade’s soft sleep shirt and tug him closer.

#deadpool #wolverine #deadpool and wolverine #deadpool x wolverine #poolverine #fic #deadpool and wolverine fic #deadpool x wolverine fix #poolverine fic #my fic

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weebsinstash · 2 years ago

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As much as I want to have children by this man, let's take a moment to sip our platonic yandere Miguel juice

-i can't decide which sex he'd be more partial to in a 'child'/you since in the movie there was Gabriella but in the comics he eventually has a son who becomes the next Spiderman but--

-as a girl i just naturally think of a lot of those sorts of gender specific ideas 👉👈 he's this big scary hulking intimidating threat and his "daughter" is the one melting his cold exterior

-doesnt matter if you're a grown ass woman, Miguel sees you struggling to braid your hair and suddenly here he is, full dad mode, doing it for you,and depending on how close you two are, maybe he disguises it with "ugh, stop spending so much time messing around with that. If I do it for you will you get back to work? 🙄", but really it's just your new self proclaimed dad/tio wanting to help braid your hair and help you feel pretty and, oh, how he can fondly remember the last time he helped braid "his daughter's" hair...

-of course this evolves to him just loving to do things with your hair. Braid it, wear it natural, style it, use products on it, hes got you. you were just trying to put your hair in a lazy updo like a ponytail or bun and this man doesn't let you leave until he's got you completely combed out, hair braided with ribbons, and of course this entire time youre awkwardly sitting there in a chair in his absolute cave of a workstation with this gargantuan 6'9 man there, "so how was your day? Staying out of trouble?"

-really I mean. Is stealing other people's kids NOT technically in character for him. You're unfortunate enough to trauma bond with this man and you're never getting rid of him

-you hear Miles Morales call him tio (as in the tio meaning dude) and you jokingly teasingly start calling him tio, which Miguel secretly pretends is the version that means uncle. You're just constantly joking around or looking up at him with these big pouty eyes, "but tio 🥺 can't I PLEASE--" and its like. Lmao people know that if they need to ask Miguel for a favor, that it increases their chances to have you ask in their stead

- I mean, as a female adult abused as a child by my own father, raised by a single mom myself, like...

Reader flinches away when Peter B goes to give you a supportive pat on the back or comes in for a high five after a mission and you force yourself to laugh because you're feeling more than just a little awkward and in the spotlight. "Oh, sorry, that was dumb!" And they eventually get you to kind of anxiously word vomit "my dad used to just kind of, rough me up sometimes when I did something wrong! It-it could've been a lot worse honestly, but, it-it just makes me kinda jumpy around guys sometimes! It's not a big deal, or personal or anything. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad 🥺"

Peter B, Jessica, and Miguel all there as older parental figures and also literal parents, immediately exchange looks and agree like "oh hell naw, don't like that" and you get silently adopted by all three of em right then and there

-if it's a physically abusive father and you're still the victim of abuse, I imagine your dad had some suspicious figures suddenly show up in the middle of the night to terrify and threaten the shit out of him and suddenly you aren't getting as manhandled anymore

-can you imagine, like, you show up to Spider Society one day with a black eye "oh, this? It's, it's nothing. My dad is just, he's about to make police captain and he's really stressed about it is all" cue all your friends mentally high fiving around the table because your abusive piece of shit dad is going to die and you don't even know. When it happens they'll all be "oh no, sweetie, I'm SOOOO sorry :(" meanwhile they're thrilled bc now you don't have any parents and they can weasel in there as your new family, schedule your birthday parties, monopolizing more of your time, things like that

-goddd I just imagine it could become some kind of weird fucked up enmeshed scenario where the structure it's providing for your life is actually good for you meanwhile Miguel is like, retroactively kind of soothing some of his trauma both from his own childhood and what happened with the second universe he broke that it's just like. You're a grown ass adult and this man is tucking you in goodnight and saying "te amo, mija" at the doorway and you bet his ass is going to stand there and not let you sleep until you say it back. He knows you're just absolutely seething at him and he'll still refuse to leave without a grumbling "te amo, papá 🙄"

-He eventually just has you doing so much shit and depending on him so much that it starts to become second nature to you. one day you're in the Society doing one of the odd jobs you're allowed to help with and suddenly you're thinking, "Ugh I actually don't know what to do next, I wish Papá was here to-- WAIT SHIT NO I MEAN MIGUEL--"

-lmaooooo as a non Spanish speaker I keep thinking of how awwwwwful it would be if he actually forces you to learn Spanish. Not inherently because there's anything wrong with Spanish, but, I'm not always smart, and I can just SEE him quizzing your ass, forcing you to have entire conversations in Spanish, always clicking his tongue or chuckling at you when you make a mistake and he just thinks you're so cute struggling to learn 🥰 man hears you're trying to take extra lessons from Miles and he instantly drops everything he's doing to go track the little scamp down. Insert meme "I can forgive being an anomaly but I draw the line at teaching Reader bad Spanish"

-siiiiiiigh eventually the day comes when you're in big danger and you need his help, maybe you disobeyed him and was hanging out with some other Spiders in another dimension when there was a sudden villain attack, and he comes to your rescue as a villain does something dramatic like has a gun to your head or a knife to your neck and the second you see him you're just overwhelmed wirh a sense of relief, calling out for him, calling him dad/tio/papá whatever, and he's just like 😭❤️ pumping his fist internally, like YES you are so grounded when you get back home but also 🥰 you finally called him dad without him having to twist your arm 🥰 nevermind if the "villain" who kidnapped you was actually a Spider who owed him a favor, and this whole thing was to teach you a lesson about listening to your Papá, that's not important ❤️

-Miguel who forces you to learn Spanish vs Miguel who forces you to be Catholic. I can excuse kidnapping and forced adoption but I draw the line at making me practice religion 💀 no but seriously, he probably does have certain morals and values he instills/forces upon you if he thinks you need them, and he'll probably be one of those fathers, "are you leaving the house dressed like that? Go change" and orders you not to hang out with certain people he doesn't approve of or thinks have bad character (like hobie lmao)

-bruh you two will be on a super serious important mission and this man will be like "it's dark, hold my hand so we dont get separated"

Eventually it comes to a point where you're, not perfectly behaved but, just about. If someone finds Miguel, it means you're not very far away, or vice versa. Members of the Society quickly learn not to make any advances on you or make any "adult" comments unless they want to get suspiciously hurt during a personal training session by the big boss himself. You think you're safe just cause Miguel isn't around? Nah, cause then you have Peter B and Jess keeping an eye on you, and, not that YOU'RE aware of the extent, but, if Miguel ever gets worried, he can just ask Lyla what you've been getting up to, since your modified little daypass has her installed into it and she can track your every move ❤️ helicopter parent? Oh honey, you have NO idea...

#yandere miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #yandere x reader #yandere spiderverse #yandere stuff #sinprompts

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dandylion240 · 2 months ago

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Two months later Evan had moved his stuff back into their home. He couldn’t wait for Jayden to come home and see what he’d done. He had the evening all planned out. Take out from the Chinese Restaurant. A romantic movie picked out on Simsflix. One he knew would bring Jayden to tears that he’d later deny. Candles were set up and waiting in the bathroom to light later. Smiling he was as ready as he would ever be.

Turning towards the front door Evan's heart leaped into his throat as it opened. His smile fading as he recognized the figure coming through it. Jayden walked in, head down, fingers typing on his phone a distracted look on his face. Evan’s breath caught in his throat. It was all happening again. All the beautiful promises were just empty words. Said with one purpose in mind. To get him back. His fingers curled into fists at his side.

Glancing up Jayden smiled as he put his phone away. “Sorry about that. My boss won’t take no for an answer. He keeps insisting I keep tabs on the numbers this evening. I told him I’ll check it in the morning.” Noticing the bluish tinge around Evan’s lips “are you feeling alright? I know you had this big evening planned but if you’re not feeling well we could do it another night.”

Shaking his head he threw his arms around the smaller man. “I’m fine. I just thought…”

The trembles in his body said more than his words. “Oh honey I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I promise this evening is all ours. Just you and me.”

“I know” he peppered Jayden’s face with kisses “I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions.”

“You have every right and have nothing to be sorry for” Jayden held his face between his hands. “I’m putting my phone on silent so we won’t be disturbed. I’m all yours for the night.”

“Are you sure” he asked remembering his comment about his boss.

“If you’re worried about my boss don’t be. He’s not happy with the change but he’ll adjust. He’ll get another eager beaver willing to sacrifice his life to watch the numbers. I’m not that guy anymore.” He didn’t add that Jasper was becoming quite the butt kisser at work. Volunteering and in general weaseling himself into positions to look good while throwing an ever increasing amount of work on his desk in the hopes he wouldn’t be able to keep up.

“Good” he murmured “as long as you’re sure it’s alright.”

“It’s going to be alright” Jayden assured him despite his growing anxiety over what Jasper might be telling his boss at this moment. Moving towards the bedroom “do I have time to change?”

“Time” Evan frowned “we have all evening.”

“Didn’t you plan for us to go out” he asked “I thought you’d want to eat at that French Restaurant.”

Flinching at the thought Evan said “I never want to go there again.”

Sensing he’d stumbled upon something unsettling Jayden simply pulled Evan to him squeezing him tight. “He’s never going to hurt you again. I promise.”

He leaned into Jayden a contented smiled spreading across his face. “I’ve got Chinese for supper and a movie for later.”

“Sounds good” Jayden held him a moment longer “I love you so much. More than I can ever say.”

Coming back into the living room Evan frowned as Jayden was focused on his phone. “I thought everything was okay” he waved towards the phone in Jayden’s hand.

Shaking his head Jayden set the offending device aside. “It is. I promise” he got up going to where Evan stood “is the bath running?”

Nodding Evan gave him a questioning look “if it’s important….”

“The only thing important to me at this moment is you” he said as moved across the room to give Evan a kiss. “I’ve missed this. You. I won’t ever make the mistake of taking you for granted again.”

Evan could feel himself melting in Jayden’s arms. He had longed for his touch. His tender caress. It had always made him feel so warm, loved and cherished. The light touch of Jayden’s fingers touching the skin beneath his shirt made him back away a strangled cry issuing forth like a warning siren.

Stepping back Jayden gave him a concerned look. “We don’t have to do this. We could just cuddle on the couch. I can wait. I know I still have much to prove….”

Shaking his head Evan pressed his hand to his lips to keep from crying out a second time. “It’s not that. I’m sorry. It’s….” He half turned away arms wrapped tightly around himself “Please don’t be mad at me.”

“Why would I be mad at you” Jayden asked confused. “I know you and Jasper were together. It may make me crazy just thinking about it but I’d never be mad at you.”

“It’s not….we were never” sighing he looked at his feet with an heir of dejection. “I couldn’t be with him like that….”

“Tell me” he said gently without pressure, he waited while Evan made up his mind.

Hesitantly Evan lifted his shirt over his head and turned around. “Please don’t be mad” he pleaded once more.

Stepping forward Jayden lightly brushed his fingers over the jagged scars. His throat felt tight as he fought the bile and anger that bubbled up from within him. All the times Evan had refused to undress in front of him made sense now. As much as he hated Jasper for doing this he had only one person to blame. Himself. He’d let this happen when he let Evan walk out that night. His schemes had led to this. He was supposed to protect Evan and instead he let him run into the arms of a monster.

Misreading his silence Evan stepped away making a grab for his shirt. “i knew you’d be mad…”

Grabbing the shirt and tugging on it Jayden made Evan look at him. “I’m not mad at you. You didn’t ask for this. You needed me to protect you and I let you down. I’m mad at myself.” He turned away in shame unable to endure Evan’s trust filled gaze another moment.

“Jay” he touched his taut shoulder “you couldn’t have known.”

“I brought him here” he choked “I did this.”

“No” Evan tugged on his hand until Jayden turned around “he tricked us both.”

“You tried to tell me” he sniffed “I was too caught up with my work and how good I was at setting people up. I’ll never be able to forgive myself for what happened to you. You deserve so much better.”

“I do have better” he took Jayden’s hands leading him to the bath. “Tonight it’s just you and me. A new beginning.” His hands fumbled with Jayden’s clothes.

“You’re really something special” Jayden whispered when they stood before each other without anything between them.

“I was thinking the same of you” his eyes roamed across Jayden’s body.

Taking his hand Jayden lead him to the tub “tonight I’m going to show you just how special you are.”

At first Evan was a little self conscious sitting with his back to Jayden. When he felt Jayden’s lips softly kissing the ugly scars he let himself relax.

A month or so later Jayden received a call from his boss to meet in his office. Walking inside “you wanted to see me” Jayden said standing in front of his desk.

“Have a seat Mr Reagan” he waved towards a chair while he finished his phone call. Hanging up he drummed his fingers on the desk staring across the divide between them. “Do you know why I’ve asked you in here?”

“No sir” he shook his head the beginnings of a tension headache pressing on the backs of his eyes. As far as he knew he hadn’t missed any pressing deadlines. Had made all his sales goals.

“I see” his boss hummed a little beneath his breath. “Quite frankly I’m concerned with your performance.”

Frowning Jayden sat forward “I’ve met all my goals and deadlines.”

“You have” his boss admitted “however meeting them is not the same as exceeding them. You’ve lost your fire. The spark that makes you different from the rest. I demand excellence from everyone in this office and you’re just not giving me your all.”

“I’m giving you everything I can” Jayden assured him.

“Really? Are you sure about that?” he gave him piercing stare. “This isn’t a job that you can leave behind once you walk out these doors. This isn’t just a job it’s your career. Your life. Nothing should be more important than the numbers.”

“My time when I leave this office is my time to do with as a I please” Jayden glared back at the older man. Now he knew why the man had 10 ex-wives/husbands. It’s hard to keep a relationship when all you do is work. He couldn't believe this was the person he had aspired to be like.

“I see” he sat back disappointment etching his face. “You were in line for promotion. You’re recent decline in dedication to your work has made me question your loyalty to me and this office. Jasper on the other hand is just the guy for the position.”

Standing stiffly Jayden walked to the door “good for him” his voice more brittle than he wanted. With Jasper getting the promotion that meant the guy would be his immediate supervisor. He’d have to report to him. Receive his work assignments from him. No doubt he’d be expected to go on business trips with him. The idea made him feel ill.

Returning to his desk Jasper approached him. “Did you hear the good news” he smirked down at him.

“Congrats” Jayden mumbled from stiff and leaden lips.

“Now that I’m your boss I expect you to take my calls ….”

His eyes shot up to the man’s insufferable face. “No it doesn’t. Work stops once I leave this office. You have no right to call me at my home. Asking about Evan is definitely not work related.”

“It’s only polite to ask about one’s family” Jasper gave him a knowing smirk setting a thick folder on his desk. “I want the numbers sorted and a presentation ready by tomorrow. The customer will be in at 3:00.”

Jayden glanced at the name “you’ve had this assignment for two weeks and have done nothing with it. How do you expect me to get it done in less than a day?”

“I guess that means you’re working late” Jasper said a smug look on his face. “I’ll give Evan a call to let him know.”

“Leave him alone” Jayden snapped standing up and knocking the heavy file to the floor.

“What are you going to do about it” Jasper demanded leaning in close. “Just think while you’re here doing this assignment because we both know you’ll stay, Evan will be alone.” Stepping back “maybe I’ll keep him company. Remind him what a real man is.”

“I’ve seen the scars. I know what you did to him. He doesn't want anything to do with you.” Looking at his desk he grabbed the one item that held any value to him. A picture of him and Evan on the beach in Sulani taken when Jonah had gotten married. “I’m done. Good luck getting that presentation ready in time.”

Without knocking he poked his head inside his bosses office. “I quit. Good luck with your prize ass you just promoted.”

Walking from the building he inhaled deeply. A sense of peace falling over him. After months of fielding veiled threats from Jasper at all hours of the day and worrying about Evan he finally felt like things were looking up. He loved his job but not enough to put Evan in danger. Their finances would be tight until he found another job but it’d be worth it. He finally felt he had his priorities striaght.

Previous/Next

#jayden reagan #evan o'neil #jasper hammond #ts4 #enough #simblr #sims story #tw abuse

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team-free-avengers · 1 month ago

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A New Team 3

Summary: No one was expecting to be stuck with Valentina as their boss but they wanted to be a team and she somehow weaseled her way into doing the unthinkable to market us as the new avengers even though Sam is already forming that team and you guys already have a name. On top of it all the stress has put a strain on your relationship with Bucky since he thinks you might be a little too focused on rebuilding your relationship with Yelena but there’s more to it than that.

Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Yelena x Reader (Platonic)

Warnings:

Word Count:1654

“For the last time whoever keeps leaving food on their plates scrape it off before you put it in the sink we’re not animals around here!” you hear Ave scream from the kitchen as soon as you step off the elevator onto the main floor where everyone technically lives.

It is definitely nothing like it used to be when it was Tony’s and all the avengers lived together here but it's nice to be a part of something again. It would be even better if it wasn’t causing a strain on other relationships. Considering we all want Valentina in jail but she’s somehow roped you all into this scheme of being the new avengers everyone has been a little on edge.

You make your way towards Bucky who is sitting on the edge of the couch running his hands through his hair clearly stressed, “Hey, is everything okay? Did you talk to Sam or something?” you ask, putting your hand on his shoulder.

“No, not recently. Since he threatened the lawsuit over the name Valentina forced upon us he hasn’t been responding to any way i’ve attempted to reach out. You would probably know that if you and your bestie weren’t too busy running around the city without a care in the world. Some of us have had serious shit going on,” Bucky grumbles, shaking your hand off his shoulder, he stands to walk out the room but you step in front of him.

“What has gotten into you? We aren’t just running around getting our nails done, it is actually serious shit that Yelena is helping me with when we go out. Yelena asked me not to talk about it until it is completely figured out,” you try to explain but Bucky is unwilling to listen.

Without even a second glance in your direction he moves you out of the way and walks towards the elevator. You are unsure where he’s going but you know it might just be better to let him have his space.

‘Maybe I should have told him the truth. How Yelena hid some records before she destroyed everything else but we needed to find where she hid them and how one of them was my time at that place. It was the best progress they made with their experiments so of course they weren’t going to destroy the files on it. Maybe Bucky would have understood then?’ you wonder to yourself letting your brain take you away in a sea of what ifs and possibilities.

‘What if this was it? Out of all the terrible things I've done, is this the one to make him leave?’ you question yourself as the tears overtake you before you could control them.

Just as your knees buckle beneath you you hear footsteps coming towards the living area, “oh honey what is the matter? Why are you crying?” you hear Alexi ask from behind you before his bellowing voice carries through the whole floor, “Yelena! Your little friend is sad!”

“No I’m not!” you hear Bob yell from the other room.

“Not you, the girl!” Alexi calls back casually.

Before anyone else can say anything, Yelena comes rushing into the room confused and alarmed,”What is with all the yelling?” she asks before noticing you on the floor a crying mess, “Y/N? What is wrong?”

The sobs are taking over so you can barely form a proper sentence but you try to tell her anyway, “Bucky…got, upset…with..me, b-because…I cou-couldn’t,”

“Stop. Just breathe it’s going to be okay. I'm here to help you, but you have to calm down so I can understand you. Now we’re going to breathe together,” Yelena says softly guiding your hand to her chest, “First in,” she says instructing you to take a deep breathe in, “Then out,” she says after holding the breath for a minute before repeating this a few more times helping you successfully calm down.

“Now what was that about? What’s going on?” she asks after the town of you have sat there in silence for a few minutes.

“Bucky left upset with me because he thinks I haven’t been around much lately and since i'm following your wishes I can’t tell him what we’ve been truly doing so it looks like I’m neglecting my relationship with him to help build our friendship,” you explain self reflecting as you do.

“Have you been neglecting your relationship with him?” Yelena questions but you know she already knows the answer she just wants you to speak it aloud.

“When I stop and think about it, yes, even though we see eachother we don't actually get to spend any time together lately. It’s just hard being around him and not being able to tell him everything. He’s going to ask about my day and I'm going to have to come up with a lie, and I’ve sworn from the start to never lie to him so why would I start now? It’s just easier to avoid him all together.” you explain releasing an exasperated sigh when its all done.

“Do you think telling him what we’ve been up to would help fix things?” she questions seriously.

“With a few other things as well on my part, yes I do think it would help things a bit.” you respond optimistically, selfishly hoping that she will let you tell him.

The two of you sit there in silence for a few minutes before Yelena finally speaks up, “Then tell him, just make sure nobody else finds out.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes Y/N, I trust you and I know you trust him so therefore I guess I can too,” Yelena says with a shrug before standing to leave, “But if he makes you cry again we will have bigger issues.”

With everything in mind you stand up and head towards the elevator ready to leave the building and find the love of your life so you can fix things. You don't pull your phone out and attempt to call Bucky until you’re completely out of the building knowing the signal inside was terrible without Tony’s technology. Once you do you attempt to call Bucky five times and each time it goes straight to voicemail.

‘I knew it, I waited too long to call him and now he’s even more pissed,’ you think to yourself, shoving your phone back into your pocket and beginning the trek two where you knew Bucky most likely would be.

There is this old bar back in his old neighborhood that hasn’t changed since the forties apart for the typical renovations and such. It’s the closest thing Bucky has to Steve and that time in his life so when he goes there he likes to shut his phone off and pretend like he’s been transported back. When you arrive you find him tucked in a corner at the bar huddled over his drink, it doesn’t actually do much for him but it’s the thought of it, the old habit.

“Hey, can we talk?” you ask quietly as you walk up beside him, he knew you were there before you even saw him so there was no point in pleasantries.

“Unless you plan on telling me the truth about these supposed meaningful trips then not really I’m good,” he says matter of factly.

“That is what I wanted to talk to you about actually, I also wanted to apologize for not being as present as I should be in our relationship,” you say laying your hand on his shoulder, “I would prefer if we could do it somewhere a little more private though.”

Bucky doesn’t say a word he just leads you to the farthest booth from the only other person in the place, the bartender, and takes a seat ushering for you to do the same. He doesn’t say anything, he simply sits there watching you, waiting for you to tell him the thing you’ve been hiding this whole time. And you do, you tell him everything from Yelena saving and hiding your file to the two of you hunting it so you can know what they did to you as a child. You even told him how you promised her it would be kept a secret incase Valentina did have the tower apartments bugged. He was annoyed you didn’t come to him with this secret sooner but realised you were just following Yelena’s wishes which is understandable because he too doesn’t trust nor like Valentia.

“If she finds out and gets that file she will not only have leverage on me when will have their research from my experiments. We saw what she did to Bob, we don’t need her to try something else,” you explain in a hushed tone to stress the importance of the matter to your boyfriend as the two of you walk back to the apartment hand in hand.

“I get that, just tell me sooner next time. Matter of fact when you find out next time tell me instantly then I’ll be able to help sooner,” Bucky says with a slight chuckle giving your hand a squeeze, “I love you darling, I don’t want to lose you and you had me stressed about that lately.”

“I love you so much Bucky. You never have to worry about losing me because married or not you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life,” you reply, stopping the walk completely to lean in for a kiss.

Pulling away the two of you begin to walk again, your pace slow and carefree as the tower appears in front of you. Right outside you see Ave with at least three shopping bags, all filled with paper plates causing a chuckle to slip out as you shake your head.

“What?” Bucky questions confused what he’s missed but you just shake your head and lead him inside to your dysfunctional new family.

#A New Team #a new team #thunderbolts fanfiction #thunderbolts #thunderbolts yelena #thunderbolts fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #james bucky buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x you

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thepaintedsable · 11 months ago

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My sketchbook is a mess. Everything is one good sneeze from flying away. ANYWAYS TF2 YAY YIPPEEE!!!

I made them animals because it brings be joy and also I couldn’t get fake lizard Pyro out of my head and that obviously meant he needed a whole team to match.

I’d like to think that reptiles are just normal animals in whatever world this is, so Pyro is fooling nobody and is also extremely scary. Why are you so tall, lizard boy? Stop that.

Also coyote Spy and coydog Scout. These two are very not related as you can clearly tell. Not one bit of resemblance whatsoever no sir.

“Skink” Pyro, Coyote Spy, Coydog Scout, Kangaroo Sniper, Stoat Medic, Bear Heavy, Mule Soldier, and Ram Demo.

Pyro was the most obvious to me. I may or may not have chosen my favorite lizard just because they are both very cool and extremely elusive to me. I know nothing about these guys (I could fix this, but I don’t) yet I smile every time I see one. They’re just silly. 5 banded because of the fun coloration!

Coyote Spy and Coydog Scout go hand in hand in terms of choice, here. I wanted a wild-type animal for Spy and some sort of mix for Scout, preferably something that could be written off but is way too coincidental when they’re next to each other lmfao. I really liked the Zorse/Zebra idea but I felt like I couldn’t have that with Mule Soldier.

Sniper is only a Kangaroo because I can’t draw a kea or a kākāpō. I will continue to figure out how to draw a kea and/or a kākāpō and also shape it properly to Snipers long face, so help me god. They’re birds native to New Zealand (Sniper was born in New Zealand), threatened to critically endangered (Sniper is, very technically in TF2, one of the last New Zealanders alive if you think about it), and he stuck out compared to his folks in Australia. Also I think he should have the right to dismantle a car (Keas are very smart :) )

STOAT MEDIC!!!! Or honestly any weasel, ferret, or martin. They are sneaky, intelligent hunters, and generally spook me. That there is a snake with fur and also has managed to take our multiple populations in multiple areas because we keep putting them places. I think a weasel would steal souls.

Bear Heavy.

Mule Soldier! The US Army mascot is a Mule, and considering how military-crazed soldier is I think it was a good fit. Coulda also done a bulldog, but his name is “soldier” not “marine”.

And Demo still needs some work because I am not at all happy with his design! Yippee!

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resident-idiot-simp · 4 days ago

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I love when I can use my knowledge on things for writing. Like sure I know a lot of basics I know a lot of stuff about a lot of things. Jack of all trades kind of person here.

But then you talk about alcohol??? Bitch that's my job! I work for an alcohol distributor. I grew up around my father working at the same damn place.

I know this kind of stuff! But sadly this is very rarely ever useful information 🙃 but I did have fun figuring out what drink I would give Peter in the new fic, granted that's not really my knowledge that's just knowledge of alcohol in general.

Meanwhile I'm over here being able to explain the difference between spirits, bitters, whiskeys, and all of that off the top of my head.

Maybe this is my perfect excuse to write something from Weasel's POV 👀 What are our thoughts on that?

#deadclaw #deadclaws #deadpool and wolverine #deadpool & wolverine #deadpool 3 #deadpool #deadpool x wolverine #wade wilson #wade x logan #logan howlett #wolverine #poolverine #jack hammer

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kiraridertime03 · 6 months ago

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We need to free the Weasel

A brief discussion about the way that Creature Commandos uses politics in its narratives.

Spoilers for it and everything else James Gun DC up to this point though, below the cut.

Also, it is a busy post, content warnings for discussions of white supremacists and cops, as it is necessary.

With the release of the trailer of James Gunn's Superman film, hype for his grand DC Universe has kicked into high gear, and for good reason. That trailer, no matter the quality of the final film, is a goddamn work of art. A piece of film that understands Superman better over the course of 2 minutes and 20 seconds than Zack Snyder did over the course of 3 overlong movies. That mixed with his solid back catalogue of Superhero films. However, slightly more obscurely, this universe has already started with the animated series Creature Commandos, and especially with the fourth episode, which released hours before Superman's trailer, shows the kind of skill and thought Gunn and co. are putting into this new universe.

At its front, Creature Commandos feels very... blunt, in a lot of ways. It's like The Suicide Squad but with Creatures! It's big and raunchy, being an animated series with blood and swearing and sex and whatnot. And, when it comes with its politics, some of the early villain's mooks are a bunch of weird incels, and one of the main characters constantly advocates for killing Nazis. It is a work that immediately shows its hand, making the type who would decry the wokeness of modern movies and games or whatever. However, with these early examples, it can feel like a bit too much, maybe. I love it, don't get me wrong, I'm the type to really enjoy blunt earnestness. Though, given the more comedic approach that many of these elements take in the early episodes, it can feel a bit like it's only there for the bit.

Where the series really starts to excel, though, is when it starts integrating its flashback segments. As a whole, even outside the point of this post, the flashbacks feel like a wonderful decision. A way of fleshing out our characters while giving each episode a distinct feel, justifying the series as, well, a series rather than just one long movie. However, here, I want to discuss some of its political ideas, and how they integrate. Because, for these, they integrate more thematically, being an undertone to each character's own story.

For the bride, her story is centered around this idea of the objectification of women. I mean, it makes sense. She was literally made to simply be the bride of Frankenstein, an object of his affection. However, as she gained her own independence, the masculine figure who feels he is owed her hand in marriage breaks out into a rage, harming her and the person she actually loves. This story is what gives her the cynical edge she gains in the series proper, giving her an interesting, sympathetic story while using the elements of said story to say something about how many men perceive woman. A strong enough parable that acts as an undercurrent for her character.

Then, we get to G.I. Robot's episode, a real tear-jerker of a thing about a silly robot character, the exact thing to set my brain off in all sorts of ways. Much of this story is designed to set up his tragic past, so that we can feel catharsis once he gets his big moment, then feel the tragedy when he gets brutally murdered. However, it again is saying a lot of complex things. Many have discussed the PTSD angle for GI, which I do see, however, in GI's story specifically, I see the way that the American state treats veterans. Like, think about it. This being who was forged and created for the purpose of making war, goes to war, then once the war is over, they are, best, used for spectacle on live TV (Where they are unable to properly adjust to the tone of peacetime, accusing the audience of being Nazis themselves), studied not to help them, but to make the next generation of soldiers even more efficient at their goal of warcraft, then thrown to the side when they are no longer useful. The man selling GI to the collector literally says he slipped through the cracks. It, again, is a wonderful metaphor that takes advantage of what GI is, and uses it to emphasize these issues in a more literal way. It is a lot easier to show a robot who was programmed in a specific way weird the room out than the rocky adjustments a veteran may have to go through. It then, also, shows the kinds of people who really benefit from this warcraft, those it appeals to. The collector who buys GI turns out to be a part of a White Supremacist group in America, a group of people who gladly use Nazi iconography, identify with it, and gladly push it. Those also happen to be the types who want to buy old war memorabilia. Obviously, not all war collectors are Nazis. But these are people who see this kind of might makes right ideology that America so often employs with its military, and latch onto it. GI, rightfully, finds this appaling, and kills them on sight. It is this wonderful moment from this delightfully twisted series.

However, even that could be seen as a tad blunt. Again, GI is very clear with his words, he doesn't hide much. So, where I see this series going from good to great is with Weasel's flashback segments. This begins when a lawyer, a member of a nonprofit, demands she see Weasel, as she is putting on a case for him. In essence, she states that, at least to her and her organization, he was unjustly prosecuted. To both Rick Flag and us, this seems absurd, as we have a lot of predisposed biases towards Weasel. You see, he is one of the few pre-existing characters in this cast. Weasel was previously seen in James Gunn's The Suicide Squad, though only briefly. There, as a member of the Decoy Team, he makes weird, gross noises, they make a joke about him having killed 27 kids, then have him promptly drown before the mission even starts (Though, in the post credit, it turns out he survived, because that's even funnier). Even if you hadn't seen that film (Which you should if you haven't), they reestablish all that in this series in the first few episodes, portraying him as a stupid, vulgar, violent creature who isn't worthy of rights. However, expertly, this is all a front.

In the flashbacks, we learn that Weasel only interacted with about 8 kids, a bunch of students left at an after school program. Contrary to what we had been told, he really just played around with the kids, chasing around a ball. They eventually get inside the school and, while messing with stuff they shouldn't have, start a small fire. However, some antics are afoot. While he is playing around, an old senile man sees this and, rather than asking about what's going on, decides to run back to his home, call the cops about what is a clear, if odd, misunderstanding, then grab his gun to try to take things into his own hands. And, as he does, shakily trying to shoot Weasel, he makes the problem of the small fire worse, shooting a gas canister behind them, turning the small fire into a school-destroying explosion and fire. Then, the cops show up. Many of the kids are already dead, seemingly, but one survived. So, as he pulls her out of the wreckage, what do the cops do? They start shooting. Throughout this whole sequence, the cops do nothing but shoot and get in the way of things. It all culminates in the final shots, where Weasel has dropped the kid after being shot. And, instead of either of them going to get the kid, they both pin Weasel down, try to pull him out. This leaves the young girl to be crushed.

This is a massive tragedy, a game of tragic misudnerstandings that gets kids killed. However, again, it does this by hiding its politics into a genuinely moving character based story to make them more effective. It is a story, in part, about our predisposed biases. I mean, the narrative literally sets this up. Characters around Weasel say things about him without him being able to have a say. Because he's a Weasel. Then, our characters make judgments based on what they believe and what they've heard from secondhand sources over what they actually see. Even when Weasel is his most violent (taking down Circe in episode 3), he does it to protect his teammates, and he doesn't actually kill her. In his backstory, characters make rash decisions based on their misinformed judgments in hopes of "protecting the kids," when all they are actually doing is harming them. They get 8 kids killed all because Weasel is a little freaky.

Then there's the cops themselves. It so masterfully uses showing rather than telling. The most it tells us is of the trail at the start, and again, this is moreso used as setup, playing into our dispositions. However, when it is time to actually depict the injustices, it shuts the fuck up. It doesn't just say that cops are bad with a couple of clear shitheads and moves on. It shows how cops are bad. Their only answer to this situation is violence. They don't actually serve their community, in this instance the children stuck in the fire, their only answer is to start shooting things. Because they have no other answer than state sanctioned violence. And they did this all with an episode about FUCKING WEASEL!

Now, imagine what they can do with Superman. It doesn't even have to be political, like these previous examples. However, to me, this shows that he can do what, to me, some of the best storytellers do. They weave every element of their story together with deliberate choices that strengthen each other. If anything, more than any well edited trailer, it is that that excites me about everything James is working on. Of course, he is doing this with a team, but James is the type to surround himself with smart people who understand these things inside and out. That one David Corenswet quote about the shorts proves that to me in shades. That's what gives me hope about these works. That they will be movies and shows that mean things. Which seems like a low bar, but hey, so many fail at it that it's kind of impressive.

#creature commandos #weasel #spoilers #sorry this gets a bit heavy #Given the nature of the analysis it covers a lot #this is what I wanted out of the trailer by the way #I was like “Oh no they're gonna make me care about WEASEL!”#and they did.

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