#I KNOW ITS NOT IM LITERALLY JUST SAYING. WE TALKED ABOUT INFORMATION SHARING IN THE MEETING I AM JUST FUCKING SAYING IT.

[gaminegay]

it is so insanely frustrating for me to be the only person working who has an ounce of Disaster Thinking because it means I'm the only person who says "hey, this has a possibility of not going well, we should be ready for that" and get dismissed out of hand because I'm thinking too hard about things. And then that eventuality HAPPENS and everyone's like oh no how unfortunate. Yeah if only someone saw that coming and proposed a solution beforehand.

[coriphallus]

The Dark Urge thoughts (and prayers)

anyone whos been following me knows im absolutely not normal about durge and i wanna share some tidbits that are implied, but not necessarily canonised, from their story;

I already made a post about it but it seems like bhaal has a degree of control over whether they live or die. he can deny them death, if they fail the duel with orin.

bhaal can command the slayer. he forces orin to transform if you talk to her about sarevok and the scene makes it clear that its against her will.

bhaal manipulates his kin in a subtler way. in the colony you can find a letter from old durge thats apologising to his father for 'liking' gortash. you can interpret their relationship as something deeper but even if it wasnt, this reads to me as terrified and desperate.

the reason being, if you have a LI in act 2 you get the famous bondage scene. coupled up with the letter above makes me think this is a pattern. bhaal can use their feelings against them. he did it with sarevok and orin's mother, orin's mother and orin, etc... it's not as straightforward as 'if you disobey ill kill the one you love'. you will. durge will.

bhaal is testing them in act 2, he revels in chaos, sure, but in the grand scheme of things he doesn't care about isobel. even if you tell scel that you'll kill her you're told that youre too late, you ignored your urges. from durge, bhaal doesn't expect calm calculated murder, he expects blind obedience. failing to receive that his first punishment is to take away something they cherish. there are no half measures, theres no bargaining with a god.

we get so many snippets of information that this has happened before, their foster family being their first victims. theyre made to kill their support system with their own hands, with no one to blame but themselves. they are actually apologising to their father for being fond of gortash because (in my humble opinion) theyre genuinely afraid.

how many times could this have happened, how many nights durge couldve woken up covered in the blood of someone they love until they gave in, became daddys obedient puppet?

durge is groomed for murder. scel says 'you always failed to conduct yourself without me' and given who he is i dont think hes talking about table manners when he says 'conduct'. durge needs 24/7 oversight to set themselves right lest they get tempted by softer things. lest they dare to step away from bhaals grand plan.

durge do have a choice. just as shadowheart had a choice, just as wyll or astarion had a choice. its a choice only in name.

theres no ending besides refusing bhaal that their friends and LI wont die by their hands. the entire lore of bhaalspawn is that theyre meant to conquer the world in his name and slit their own throat a top the mountain of corpses. as cazador aptly put, 'theyre made to be consumed.'

you can pray to bhaal and the narrator says he won't accept [any offering] but the entire world.

durge (and bhaalspawn) do get some sort of euphoria from murder. they crave it like an addict, but bhaalspawn (on prev games) don't constantly have to grapple with these urges as durge does.

now durge is a slightly special case but not in a good way. its implied that theyre not like a regular bhaalspawn, that theyre made by bhaal directly -so to speak-. which is to say, if youre playing a drow, they are bhaals closest approximation of a drow rather than a drow flesh and blood.

thats why theyre fighting tooth and nail against these urges every step of the way, they are literally bhaal himself(in essence). the personality they develop, the person who calls themselves 'tainted' and 'wretched', the character thats making choices throughout the game, theyre the tumour.

theirs is the story of cycle of abuse cranked up to 1000 and it is in parallel to all other origin companions.

[luvieshifts]

the maze runner maze diversity ideas directly inspired by this @petrichor-idyllic post!!

ive literally been thinking about it nonstop since omg okay BASICALLY its confirmed in the scorch trials movie that there are a bunch of other mazes aside from the glade and group b. since these other mazes are never touched on there are one million and one ways people could go with them in fanfiction in terms of layout, weather conditions, etc. so i wanted to share some!

petri had tons of great ideas (go follow them right NEOW) and im just here to expand on them. 4 the sake of simplicity im gonna call the “gladers” subjects/mazers since we dont really know what theyd call themselves, and im gonna call the “glade” the centre. i am gonna keep calling new kids greenies bc i think its a funny little name + DISCLAIMER i have not read the books and i also do not have the time or energy to rewatch the movies so if any information is off my bad fr

NOT PROOFREAD

MONSTER IDEAS

a maze with birdbox style monsters so they have to navigate the maze blindfolded

a maze where the monsters are deathly afraid of some sort of metal that wicked wont send them enough of to make clothes or armor (at least not enough to keep every mazer safe) so all the people are heavily pierced. greenies come up piercingless and have to sit in the piercing hut (where they keep the metal) for however long it takes them to let the maze piercers do their job because absolutely no shot are they letting any dumbass teenager go anywhere with their rare life saving metal without it being fused to their bodies. the maze record for time a greenie has spent in the piercing hut is 3 full days and the less time you spend in there when you first arrive the more street cred you get

^ the piercer would probably be the maze leader, im picturing someone who at the beginning was the only person that could talk greenies into getting the piercing over n done with and as more came up the maze just filled with people that would only listen to the one person they trusted enough to pierce them straight out of the box.

a maze with underground monsters. you drop something heavy enough and something shoots out of the ground, jaws wide open. they have treestyle type houses, floating bridges connecting buildings. they dont have runner equivalents bc theyre working on building bridges through the maze and its like a no brainer that they cant go anywhere without a bridge. instead of “someone should try surviving the maze at night” its “we should climb the walls” and everyone thinks hes just as nuts

^theyd have a box but wouldnt it be fucking funny if their greenies just fell out of the sky?? they have a little platform right underneath where the greenies and supplies land (they call it ground zero) picturing wicked somehow forgetting to cushion the platform at first and patient zero falls out of the sky and dies on impact

a maze where the monsters arent giant teen eating beasts but deadly insects. one bite of that one and youll vomit up your internal organs, breathe in gas from that one and your entire body will be paralyzed. accidentally step on that one and your foot will swell to the size of a bowling ball and fucking explode. experiment with how your mazers cope with this - maybe everyone wears layers and layers of bee keeping style clothes outside and all the buildings are netted. do they have disinfecting rooms? do they have some sort of poison that takes the insects out? how to they distribute this poison since they cant just pierce it on like the metal maze?

a maze with the hunger games mutt type monster-mutations made out of fallen mazers

a maze where the monsters arent monsters or a threat at all but contain clues or keys thatll help the mazers get out and are notoriously impossible to catch

MAZE IDEAS

on the wiki page for group b it says their maze went vertical at one point - a maze that is completely vertical, their centre (creatively named The Hole) being like a tube just walled in by heaven high maze structures. you look up and at some point the walls give way to an abyss. most of the mazers have given up hope of getting out because it looks endless - or does it? nobody really entertains the idea that the top of The Wall is closer than they think, that the creators have put in a fake ceiling to fuck with them, but the people theyve sent up dont come back down and when the hole is quiet enough they can hear something alive up there and nobody can say for sure that their little village is any worse than what theyll find if they try to leave

hunger games quarter quell type maze where different sections of it have different monsters or obstacles. the sections with the easiest to bypass obstacles have the most complicated puzzle, the sections that are the easiest to navigate have obstacles 10x as deadly

PEOPLE IDEAS

a maze where 2 people come up in the box at a time (inspired by this thomas fic). theyd have names like box-mate or smth for whoever you come up in the box with (i.e thats jeff, he’s clints box-mate) and everyone is really close with their box-mate, platonically or otherwise. i feel like theres alot of cute potential for this idea, like an alby-equivalent talking to aggressive mazers like why dont you go find your box-mate and chill out. go cuddle or something. greenies often feeling weird about their connection w their box-mate (bc who wouldnt??) and long time mazers teasing them about it “oooooh somebodys making eyes at their booox-maaate muah muah muah”

unisex maze (although all these ideas can be unisex) where the number of boys and girls is slightly or very uneven at any given time. people have bets going around that time of the month every month about whether theyre getting a boy or a girl w things like chores and food being traded like currency. the bonfires on greenie day are just celebrations for the winning party

got this idea from petri but someone alone in a maze!!! just completely isolated for however long, not being expected to survive but making it out somehow. have you guys ever read an article or paper on the long term psychological effects of solitary confinement in prisons? of course itd be different but isolation is literally used as a torture method in some places. humans are not supposed to be so alone!! a lone mazer that sleeps by the thinnest part of the walls at night so they can hear the monsters, have some sort of connection to another living thing. a lone mazer that only survives their maze because they know their monsters like the back of their hand after spending endless nights well hidden in the maze just OBSERVING the creatures because it becomes a comfort to them, seeing something outside of themself move by its own free will. a lone mazer that never stops talking once theyre out of the maze because long silence makes them feel like theyre all alone again, a lone mazer that doesnt talk at all once theyre out of the maze because they cant stand the sound of their own voice anymore.

^ petri had the idea of an animal companion and i think that is a wonderful idea!! they have this fic where the reader had a dog and theyre really cute together. go full on disney princess & give your character a bird or a chameleon or a tiger if youre a jasmine guy. a dog or any predatory animal can conceivably help your character escape the maze - give your character a sloth or a koala or just a really lazy cat. give me a lone mazer whos animal companion is dead weight but they dont have the heart to leave them, who keeps their fat cat strapped to their chest like a baby as they fight for their life. 

person alone in a maze with a baby. ik this sounds so random but wicked wanting to see the effects of growing up in the maze so they send in a carer, someone that looks after the mazers before theyre sent in. the carer raises the kid angry at whoever has trapped their now adopted child in this torture chamber come to find out they used to be one of them

maze where the subjects are supposed to get injured in some way to force them to rely on one another. a subject being deafened by a banshee type monster, a subject getting a limb amputated by medjack equivalents after getting suddenly and suspisciously sick. they dont spend so much time mapping the maze as figuring out how to get all of them through to the very end because they quite literally cannot make it without every single mazer

a maze where the subjects keep their memories but theyve all been altered. some remember wicked as saviours providing shelter for them as orphaned children, others remember being restrained, poked and prodded, a vague feeling of grief and betrayal that they cant explain. others dont remember wicked at all and insist that the maze is a paradise compared to desert wastelands filled with zombie people and viral disease.

your mazers can react to this in any way shape or form. maybe factions/cliques of people with similar memories form. nobody wants a leader from a different group in charge of the entire maze so they dont have one, there not being any rules that apply to every group in the maze because nobody will listen to eachother. everyone thinks the ones that dont remember wicked are crazy and the anti-wicked group have the most reason to become violent, have been the most violent in the past so everyone thinks theyre psychos. it takes them longer than other groups to get out despite having memory because they all take over different parts of the maze and refuse to share information.

mazers that have access to technology. they can make things like recordings and audios but no way of connecting to the outside world and no information aside from what they put in themselves. they learn to program things and make robots/drones to navigate the maze for them, make intro videos for greenies so they dont have to deal with them. instead of track hoes and medjacks they have groups of people that work on different kinds of technology because theyve learnt to automate most of the stuff the gladers do by hand. some work on exploring the maze, some make weapons, some study the monster corpses theyve managed to get, etc etc.

CULTURE/TRADITION IDEAS

the different ways people commemorate dead mazers!! in the glade they cross out their names on the maze walls and in group Bs maze they like sculpt their faces into the ice. give me a maze that tattoos the names of their fallen, whos oldest mazers have the most ink so it kind of goes without saying that the more tattoos you have the more authority you have. greenies being able to tell clearly whos been around longer based on which names they have tattooed. give me a maze that mounts the weapons of the dead on a wall, a maze with a regular graveyard that the mazers visit on slow days

greenie events!!! give me greenie celebrations like the bonfire we see in the glade, parties or games, feasts to welcome newcomers. give me a maze where the arrival of a greenie is grim, one more mouth to feed, one more lost soul trapped. a maze where everything dims down around that time of the month because another person means another month theyve failed to get out. give me mazes that test their greenies to see if theyre of any use to the group because those that arent are dead weight. a maze that holds Greenie Trials, where you have to complete an obstacle course or survive a night in the maze or complete some obscure challenge and if you cant youre tossed to the monsters.

^bonus points for a gally-equivalent getting to say ominous shit like The Last One Didn’t Make It

TATTOO SUBGENRE

because i dont know what else to do with these

maze where wicked programmed the monsters to respond to some basic specific kind of symbol and the people have it tattooed in very visible places, painted on every hut and wall

maze where the monsters are deathly allergic to some sort of liquid so the subjects tattoo themselves with it

maze where you have to be incredibly light on your feet when navigating the maze so people tattoo maps on themselves.

GROUP B

i know im supposed to be talking about maze ideas not mentioned in canon but group b has so much potential their wiki says that group b doesnt have runners, they literally all just go out into the maze in a giant group, AND that their monsters are out day and night PLUS their maze is a frozen wasteland. i imagine any girls that arent strong enough to withstand everything are like pretty quickly weeded out and only the hardasses that adapted quickly enough were left omg the cultural norms that would form?? theyre all absolutely jacked and if a greenie dies nobody bats an eye cause tough shit. no introduction no transition period you come into the maze with us and dodge airborne monsters or you stay here and freeze to death. the creators do send them medical supplies but over time they start to notice the way the group interacts w eachother so they start sending less to see if they can push it even farther, make the girls have to ration their medical supplies. it works tenfold oh you broke your arm and you want a sling, aris?? rachel got her arm CHEWED OFF by a FLYING MUTANT PTERADACTDOL and didnt ask me for so much as a BANDAID

this is like evidenced on the wiki too multiple girls suggesting they just leave aris to freeze to death or get eaten by monsters in the maze because theyre SUSPISCIOUS of him?? like absolutely unprovoked too thomas had a stung glader accusing him of being at fault for the maze an unconscious girl who came at the wrong time who is apparently going to be the last greenie they ever recieve feverishly gasping his name just so much ammo for the gladers to toss him out and it takes the death of like half the glade and an insane gally to get him where aris was upon arrival. they literally punch aris square in the face immediately after they decide not to kill him bc “its the fastest way to remember your name” like how did you guys realise that??? "fastest way” so you admit there are other ways??? why are you giving all your greenies concussions

GEN

because i dont know where to put these

explore the concept of failed mazes. a desert maze where the subjects couldnt survive on the monthly supplies because they couldnt farm any food on their own because, well, desert. a maze where wicked did something like the memory altering maze, purposefully dividing them but they went too far and the mazers killed eachother off hunger games style

test mazes! have you ever wondered why the mazes operate the way they do? why do they send people up once a month? why are the mazers of all different ages? why not make the centre already stocked with food and buildings so the subjects can spend more time cracking the maze instead of learning how to grow crops?

a maze where they sent all the people up at once and without guidance from more experienced subjects they pretty quickly killed themselves off. a maze where the subjects were too young and werent organising themselves or mapping the maze fast enough, a maze where the subjects were too old and lost hope faster and easier. a maze where the mazers had everything they needed upon arrival and nobody wanted to leave.

AND MANY MORE!!!

IN conclusion make ur own mazes people!!!!! get creative w it there are so many different directions you can take it in!! pls feel free to use any ideas thats what theyre here for i dont need credit but PLEASE tag me id love to see anything that comes from this nonsense!!! nd lmk if anybody wants a pt2 because i had a million half baked ideas that didnt make the cut i am filled to the brim with Thoughts

[hypogryffin]

Genuine curiosity as well as making sure I can express myself properly in the future. You mentioned dislike for the term "Abrahamic" when referring to Jewish, Christian, and Muslim faiths as a singular classification. And I totally get that a TON of people saying Abrahamic really just mean Christian.

So, what term would you use if you wanted to refer to the shared origins of these religious groups? Like, what would be the good religious term that is similar to linguistic terms like Germanic or Romantic? Or would you say there really isn't or shouldn't be one term that can refer to all of them?

fyi im a uni dropout in buttfuck nowhere manitoba so my opinion is highly uninformed and furthermore as my credentials are "stranger on the internet who draws good" im crazy underqualified to give you a new term to use.

"abrahamic" is probably the most alright term i know of, since its supposed to be the blanket terms for "[monotheistic] religions that have abraham as a "patriarch" ". this is a fine category of religions that is not exclusive to judaism, christianity, and islam, though those are the 3 most prominent. its distinctive, its not crazy niche or crazy unspecific, and it works. my problem with the term is that people Use It Wrong to the point it kinda ruins my "relationship" (for lack of a better term) with the word. its not that the term belies classification i dislike, its that i hear people Use It Wrong so often that i associate it with people or arguments that i disagree with, think are in bad faith, or are entirely too uninformed on the matter.

if we "needed" a new term, i guess the only things i could "reasonably" suggest would be something to the effect of "monotheistic" (but that widens the category, im just not sure How Much as im, again, not informed on many world religions past my own and the ones i experience) or maybe "western religions" (which is a bit of a disingenuous name for a lot of reasons but first and foremost because all of "the big three" and as far as i can remember at least some of the smaller, less known abrahamic religions were formed in "the middle east").

i cant say there shouldnt be one term to describe the group of religions were talking about or what a better one is, first and foremost because whatever the broad category is called, im literally not using it? i think this post and the one where i first talked abt my dislike of the word are the only times ive used that word outside of middle&high school social studies classes. i think abrahamic is a fine descriptor, because i dont need to describe what its defined as in my day to day life. i just *personally* take issue with the way ive heard people use it.

[idealspawn]

hey..... i must say. this has been the best week of my life. and im filled with utter joy. ive had like a.. rebirth? every once in a while i feel like im born again. the transition is really emotional but they are moreso growing pains than destructive pains. im suddenly surrounded by so many great people and possibilities and i finally feel like life is rewarding me, treating me the way i should be treated. in a way im reluctant to owe it to "faith" and see myself as a passive subject rather than an active agent in this but in a way i think i am powerless in some factors regarding this change. next month its my debut in like a culture (?) newspaper! at least they said they are very interested in my analysis but i havent heard back yet about the second version i sent them. i wrote my favourite poem ive ever written. and ive seen so many movies recently that have served as this transitional border. like as this extremely active sphere of both "death" but also birth. like metaphorically. ive been so vulnerable and i love it. ive cried my eyes out like i havent in such a long time and done like... meta analyses about my underlying beliefs to bring change and new energy into my life. you see.. i get really stuck on like.. nominal labels. at first they describe me but it tends to go unnoticed when it no longer fits or serves me and im only living a certain way just because of this nominal structure. but all these nominal structures are made for us. not that we are made to fit them. ive re-evaluated things now.. also out of nowhere people have been reaching out to me. maybe it truly does show up in my energy when im more open. like that it attracts other open, honest, vulnerable people. ive met so many new people and truly felt seen. this is a big thing for me. for the longest time ive struggled to enjoy time with people because ive struggled to find people who i share some kinds of values. i like diverse people but for example people who are open to explore communication on an emotional and relational level rather than only informational. thats important to me. ive been more confident in sharing my opinions too:) and participating in class and in life. going to places where i know id feel a bit uncomfortable and end up surprised. going to places alone is massive for me. it opens me up to new people and experiences because i simply dont have a choice to close myself off with friends im already close with. a woman came to talk to me after a lecture. she said she had been watching how i take notes in class (i write really fast.. i tend to transcribe literally everything the professor says). she said she has studied palaeography and asked to see my notes to analyse my handwriting :) she said its very unusual for people to still write in cursive if they write with the pen very much pointed upwards, however i manage to do so :D. it really made me want to also just reach out to people... like whenever and for whatever reason. and ive noticed people actually like talking to you when youre authentic and awkward. ive restricted my communication with people SO MUCH only due to the fact that i feel like i might not be insanely flawless in my self-expression. the nature too. the season is such that i see birth and death all around me. and its very refreshing. i like seeing change and being reminded of it constantly. it feels liberating. its a season that many people dislike in my country but im in love. i love people. i love physical touch. i love eye contact. i love emotions. i love ideas. i love agency in breaking boundaries. i love feeling seen and important and useful. i love authenticity and vulnerability.

[myloveforhergoeson]

Lengthy comment left.

I make no apologies. ;)

oh my friend thank you so much!! literally just the sheer size of the comment in my email made my heart swell so so so much. i truly cannot put into words how much your support means to me :') thank you for giving me the space to share my story and talk about it all the time and taking precious time away from your day to dive into my content and share your thoughts <3

now, everything i have to say under the cut <3

"I love how Roxy was so excited when Gustavo mentioned going multiplatinum. Of course that would be her main focus. She's not interested in the sold out stadiums. She wants the awards."

yes!! while she's not worried about awards in the sense that collecting them means something in hollywood, its more about the reach of her music - someone nominating a song of hers for an award, what that implies about the impact and the effect of her words... good lord im crying just thinking about it 😭

"I love how you actually focused on another reason the New Town High song was a big deal - especially for Kendall. Being able to have one of his songs - preferably a love song - on his girlfriend's show would be a big deal for him. I actually wish the show focused on that angle a bit more."

thank you!! i know on here we like to joke about how season 3 and 4 kind of erase everyone's characterization from the first few seasons, but personally i've always felt this episode in particular also falls into that category. so weird for kendall to be a gustavo ass kisser, so i definitely needed to give him a reason if that's how i was going to write the story :)

kendall: write a song about love for my girlfriends show because im in love with her

roxy: what's that? you want to sing another song about my boyfriend?

"Okay, first of all, Storm in a Teacup or Rip-Off the Old Block are awesome song titles."

I'M TRYING SO HARD 😭 <- someone who could never be a songwriter. something early 2000s pop punk bands loved to do was take a common phrase and twist it into new meanings or make it punny or combine it with another phrase (i.e. i'm like a lawyer with the way i'm always trying to get you off) (i love you pete wentz) so that's my attempt at a small nod to her taking inspiration from the scene around her to write her music in minnesota <3 now that it's all pop, her content's shifted just a bit for more palatable and straightforward titles

"And I love the way she immediately starts thinking about what her dad used to do for her when she was sick and immediately apply it to James. It was a very sweet touch."

in my first draft james actually fought her a bit more about taking care of him because he really didn't want her to get sick! but when i was writing out the parts where she was taking care of him i was thinking 'she's 17 where did she learn all of this?' and there's only one person that could've been LMAO so i took their back and forth out and made it more narrative, glad you thought it was a sweet touch :)

"And I love how James fell asleep on her. Shows how comfortable he is with her. (Also, the falling asleep in the middle of a conversation... that's my dad sometimes - the only difference is James doesn't snore.)"

i regret to inform you james diamond does snore but i cut it out of the final drift. at the end of the chapter when james makes fun of her for being a double dipper the conversation was essentially

james: rox! gross!

roxy: you literally just kissed me with tongue? and don't act like you're so perfect - you literally snore so loud you big jerk

james: don't you ever imply that i snore again!

roxy: imply? i'm stating it as fact

which was not as good as what i came up with afterward hehe

"Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus! Communication wins out in the end!"

😭 me when i project my communication issues onto my oc and then fix them 😭

"Why do I suddenly want Dak to appear again so Roxy can rub her newfound happiness in his face?"

i want dak to come back so bad (i say as the author of this story like i don't make the decisions) because i miss writing him aghhhh ! he will at some point some time eventually i just need to make up my mind about when. i have a few ideas but i'm not really married to any just yet. same with stephanie!! when will she return from the war!!!!!

"Oh. Then the jerks from Roxy's past had to come and ruin it. Once again, I shall like to offer my services in dealing with the douches. Maybe the guys and Gustavo could team up and destroy their career before it can even take off. Maybe something a la what they did to WayneWayne is in order..."

no comment. just love your ideas sm!

thank you so so so much again! <333

[littlekingbergara]

So i get people who want watcher to speak out about the genocide that is happening right now, im sure you are all have good intention and im not going to change your mind on that. Its good if more people talk about it. But im not in the side of nonactivist speaking about something like this and i understand if they dont speak more about this. Theres a couple of reasons more than this, but this is the big reason.

1 ) this doesnt happen in their country, it happenned with Israel and Palestine, while yes American is definitely supporting the military of Israel, we need to understand this isnt like BLM and Stop Asian Hate, that they talk about before, this doesnt happen in their country.

2 ) Activism isnt just online, im pretty sure they are talking about what happenned in Gaza with their friends and im pretty sure they are definitely not in the side of genocide from the track records on how they support BLM and their support Stop Asian Hate.

3 ) as someone who is raised with an Islam religion, while genocide is not a complicated subject to talk about. What happenned with Israel and Palestine is. I have heard so much " do you condemn hamas thought ? " and i know alot of jewish people who are simply just living their life keep getting asked "Do you condem Bibi Netanyahu for his action on genocide? " Its so ridicilous the ammount of time people see this as the holy war between Jewish and Muslim instead of an actual humanity issues that is happening right now.

Now i understand how this could definitely make people angry, and you dont have to agree with me. This is simply a personal opinion, because i get it honestly i have been so harassed by alot of stranger recently ever since this genocide that i just stopped talking about it online and have a nuance conversation over people i can see in real life.

Sam Young have shared instagram stories about Palestine, and Tammy Cho, Steven wife, also share instagram story about the genocide and have been doing it for quiet sometimes ( i need to put this here, but this is definitely because Tammy Cho is an activist first and foremost ) and im sure they will not be friends or work with people who deny genocide. If you want to have quiet a relief.

Now on to the reason i speak here now,

To see Sara Rubin getting called a Zionist despite her not saying if she is or not, is absolutely antisemitistic and it pissed me the fuck off. For the bluesky post she made about "Just feel like we need to normalize not speaking about things you dont know about." Could genuinely be fucking about anything. ESPECIALLY, because she is jewish.

None of you will understand truly what its like being called zionist as a jewish person who never shared if she is a zionist or not, none of you will understand when a right-wing politician, that is antisemitistic from the beginning, that genuinely most of you keep retweeting about, suddenly use the word zionist on their post and suddenly alot of you all keep retweeting their postmbecause you didnt realize when they say zionist they mean jewish people. Like she literally could genuinely mean the antisemitism she faced and the ammount of misinformation that is filled with antisemitistic rhetoric. Its too vague of a post for you all to assume if she is a zionist or not from that.

Anyway my last note for this post, please in all genuine have kindness for the muslim people and jewish people who is struggling right now because of the genocide, the ammount of hate crime they have to face everyday. Please for the love of Allah, i want you all to do just a really quick check if you share information, you reblog from or retweet from, is it from someone who is antisemitistic or someone who is islamophobic? Just genuinely do a quick check, and if you already understands what considered dog whistles, it might be easy for you to figure out where the person stands. And despite alot of post of " zionism does not equal antisemitism " you are all making. There is ALOT of people who equals zionism as antisemitism. Just, listen to Muslim and Jewish people around you if you post something wrong. That is all. And btw i bet alot of you doesnt know what zionism actually is if you accuse sara rubin of being one, because the word "sara is making the watcher boys not say anything about the genocide" sound alot like jewish people control what people are saying, and isnt THAT an antisemitistic rhetoric. Be aware on how you word out your post, just becareful. And truly the last last word, you can support palestine without being antisemitistic, by focusing on how to actually help palestine, talking about what is happening in palestine helps alot but i do recommend this PCRF ( Palestine Childrens Relief Fund ) and Palestine Red Crescent Society helps and provides aids to Gaza people ( idk how to link them but hope you all do a quick search ).

Alright, sorry for the really long post but i hope i get my points across correctly, and i truly just want peace for Muslim and Jewish people.

yeah obviously i can't speak to what they're talking about in their personal lives. i don't think it's about pitting the whole of judaism against the whole of islam for the majority of people. it's about the genocide of palestinians on top of the myriad human rights violations and war crimes imposed on them by israel.

you can absolutely support palestine without being antisemitic and without blaming every jewish person. thank you for providing resources! i'll link them here: pcrf & prcs.

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

Im not that same anon, but i will say the way you jokingly talk like a taekooker can sometimes be triggering and hurtful to people like me who really love jimin and thought they curated their spaces to jimin focused accounts. Ive even seen taekookers use your blog posts in their arguments bullying jimin.

I’ve followed you long enough to know you’re being sarcastic but i do get sometimes triggered by how you try to prove Taekook in the exact way Taekookers do, a joke or not. but that’s our problem and you’re allowed to say whatever you want, and we can obviously unfollow you. Just adding my perspective.

- Allow me to give a honest opinion. I won't say you're a tkkr or anything because i know you're a ex jkkr and you don't ship jm with anyone. But from the way you write it definitely seems like you have alot of pent up anger towards jk and tae individually as well as together and that definitely reflects more into your writing when it involves those two. I think it's because you're an ex jkkr so it might be because feels betrayed by both of them on jm's behalf, like their behaviour towards him etc. Yes i myself recent the two guys the most and don't think they're worthy of jm's friendship too. Idk how long you have been on this blog but since the time i have followed you if i didn't know better i would think you're a jkkrs' hater more than of Tkkrs. It's one thing to to recent shippers it's another thing to turn it more towards just one group of shippers that is jkkrs. I remember you saying something like you felt betrayed or something about ITS tk talk cause even tho they said they're awkward it didn't show in their actions or something along that so i think you hate them both alot.

personally idc who you're calling husband or what cause all pjms call them husbands but they also think both of them are straight, would have unfollowed you long ago. I only replied cause i saw anons calling you tkkr. Anyways tk husbands married in Vegas currently with 3 kids and 3rd or 5th anniversary according to tkkrs. If you don't know they also has a shared apartment in japan jk brought for taehyung and he was staying there while jm was in hotel. Such a bad friend jk didn't even invite jm to come to their tk house 😔

---

Well, that I understand because taekook as a ship used to bother me just as much. It was annoying and sometimes it still is, tho it's become more of a dislike towards them as people rather than the ship itself.

In late 2019, there was some random poll in some irrelevant online magazine (like soompi and stuff) about "which member is the closest to Jungkook?". Jin won. Army voted for Jin and not Jimin, who was without a doubt the closest to Jungkook that year. At that time, things like that also bothered me and made me sad. Now, I guess it's been so long since I got over it and it's a joke. Besides, I understood that most of the information army picked up on was coming from the members themselves, and I couldn't spend a lifetime getting angry about things Taehyung, Jungkook and even Jimin himself weren't going to change.

That vminkook live in November 2021? Watching some parts of it felt terrible. I got over it quick, but at the time I didn't like it. A lot of taekook stuff bothered me, but what is anyone going to do about it lol. And I learned that, and I accepted it. Jimin literally posted taekook with their faces smashed together on his Instagram some weeks ago and pjms were laughing and rejoicing about him giving something to taekookers.

"Ive even seen taekookers use your blog posts in their arguments bullying jimin." Sorry but I don't believe you, like you just made that up.

Yeah but the thing is, I'm not trying to prove taekook lmao. I'm just making fun of the way shippers in general talk. Like, it would've meant the world to jikookers if it was Jimin with bam, right? They actually spent a lot of time trying to prove that Jimin is with bam often, but because it's Taehyung that has actual proof of spending time with Bam at Jungkook's house, they get annoyed at it and talk about conspiracy theories. Or ignore it. Now, Bam it's irrelevant. But if it had been Jimin, they would've also said the same thing I said about Taehyung spending time at Jungkook's.

And that's the whole point... call it satire if you will.

Before this discussion started, I was going through my blog, right. I reblogged some old posts. Remember when Jimin went to NYC and he wore shorts and jikookers were making viral sex jokes about how he'd shaved for Jungkook (Jimin is clean shaven in every BTS content btw, and so are the other members). Well, while going through my posts I saw this one where I said Jimin shaved and moistuzed his legs for Eunwoo like...

That stuff sounds out of pocket to me, and I will make fun of it. if people are missing the joke it's really not me. Or maybe they haven't been in shipper spaces as much as I have been. I'm sorry if I come across as too convincing??

Mind you, there were people who got angry because I talked about minimoni, or even about Saeon and Eunwoo. Someone literally came up once and told me that liking minimoni was weird because Namjoon talked about Jimin in a creepy and predatory way. Some people are just deranged, and I know that.

I honestly have no respect left for jikookers after face, or rather after this year, the way I have no respect for taekookers. They've become an easy punching bag with how delusional they were since 2021, and most of my jokes are me just saying the same things they say about jikook, but using it for different ships because it's all so ridiculous. And the most delusional ones are always Jungkook biased jikookers who thought Jimin was undeserving of support and talk about the two of them like Jimin is the lesser one in talents, ambition, or achievements.

[chromes-corner]

so ive been thinking about this scene

thinkpost + TLDR under the cut

(TL;DR: white lily is dead and pure vanilla is finally coming to his senses about it)

its just. god. i wish more people talked about this. this scene is the pivoting point for pure vanilla and i need more people to understand the devastating importance of this tiny scene that isnt even VOICED (which is a literal crime against god but also probably for the better because i dont think id survive if i had to hear pv speak this out loud)

to preface

pure vanilla knows dark enchantress’s identity. hes always known, and hes chosen to keep it a secret from the others -- perhaps for her protection, as he doesnt want to sully the name of his, quote, “dearest friend.” pure vanilla wanted the memory of their friend to remain untouched, he wanted them to believe that she was still around, but just missing in action. he didnt want them to know that she has been their enemy all along, as he knew the fond times they shared would be forever stained with the crimes of dark enchantress and the blood she now has on her hands

i have absolutely no idea how to segue this into my next point but whatever

youd think it wouldnt matter, though -- white lily fundamentally changed on the night of the witches and became dark enchantress. why would the crimes of basically an entirely different entity whos very ingredients were altered (even though they dont know what happened that night surely theyd assume it was out of white lilys control what happened to her) suddenly be transferred onto the albeit not entirely innocent but still saintly (its her title after all) white lily cookie? should they not consider the two entirely different beings?

well, pure vanilla didnt, and maybe thats why he kept everyone in the dark.

dark enchantress is white lily, and vice versa, but pure vanilla saw that in the most literal sense. he believed that, when confronted in the ruins of his kingdom, the person under the dark robes and maleficent magic was still his best friend.

hell, upon finally meeting her, he literally addresses her as white lily

but dark enchantress refutes that

she denies any trace of her past life (even though she clearly still retains bits and pieces of her past)

pure vanilla corrects himself, and yet he still ponders memories about him and white lily by saying how it was “our (speaking to DE) secret garden” and how “we (still referring to DE) used to walk.”

despite the fact that the cookie before him is clearly not the friend he once knew, he still sees her beneath the crimson surface. despite her straight up renouncing that she has anything to do with white lily anymore, pure vanilla refuses to fall to that facade and chooses to believe that his friend is still there, if not a little different than before. to him, dark enchantress is still the timid yet kind and ambitious scientist that he once studied with. she never went away. she only underwent a metamorphosis, even if for the worse.

its after this encounter, though, that this mindset of pure vanillas -- where his friend is alive, just “trapped” in a way -- begins to crumble.

in the aftermath of the final battle in chapter 10, pure vanilla swoops in and saves the day.

ok i had a point here but i couldnt actually find the piece of evidence i was looking for -- im PRETTY SURE it says somewhere that every denizen of the vanilla kingdom made it out before the final battle of the dark flour war but i dont remember where that information comes from

so assuming this is true, its pretty odd that pure vanilla says this, considering everyone made it out alive -- including his friends, since despite the vision pom gave him, he knows his friends are also still living, if not just MIA. so why does he imply that he wasnt able to protect everyone? there were no casualties (except for maybe those caused by the scattering of soul jam but thats a different topic entirely)

there was one person he couldnt save. pure vanilla is a healer through and through, and the most powerful one in the entirety of the game’s universe at that, and he still couldnt save his best friend. pure vanilla heals wounds, not tragic fates. he tried to bring white lily back to the surface by speaking of the past with dark enchantress in the dialogue leading up to the conclusion of chapter 10. he tried reasoning with her, telling her that there were times before when she was happy. she did not have to make a violent conquest out of a now-defunct destiny. she could still make a difference to all the lives around her -- her self-proclaimed purpose -- without bloodshed or destruction, and yet, she refuses, dead-set in her ways based solely on the traumatic images burned forever into her rebaked soul.

hell, pure vanilla even showed mercy on her during the dark flour war. he used crescent moon magic, supposedly the most dangerous magic of them all -- surely he couldve killed her with that (but then again we dont know the exact parameters of what each magic can and cannot do), but he instead simply trapped her. did he not have it in him to put an end to her destruction? surely a truly benevolent and altruistic being would destroy the greatest enemy of the peace and prosperity of the entire world, right? well, that would be a little hard to do if said enemy is your best friend.

he could not save her, nor could he end it all -- one of which, he had the power to do, but he chose not to.

finally, i am brought to my point.

the morning before the final meeting that will change the world forever, pure vanilla wanders into his precious garden where he would spend hours with white lily, whispering among the flowers. days from another life entirely (and literally, in white lilys case). the truth has been spilled about dark enchantress’s identity. plans are finally moving forward to bring forth an attack in her domain. her, being someone he had once believed to be his best friend.

it is there where the realization finally hits him. white lily, the quiet but passionate girl he once knew and adventured with, is gone. she has been since that fateful night. the vengeful woman he fought against and confronted in his own ruined kingdom was not white lily. he may have hoped against hope that he would be able to find his dear friend clinging to life beneath whatever horrible thing had happened to her that night, that he’d be able to once again share laughs and talk amidst the fronds and petals of their garden, but ultimately, pure vanilla finally has to face the truth that he has been hiding himself away from:

even the world’s greatest healer cant bring back the dead.

[silver-wield]

I wanna laugh at the cleriths on twitter who ask for tifa to tell the truth so cloud wouldn't get to a mental breakdown THEN they will accept her??? How is it so difficult for them to get that its an important part for him to get to that vegetable stage for the narrative???? If nojima really wanted to, he wouldn't even put him in that state if he so pitied cloud.

My brain cells, I just wanna hug Tifa, these people don't get empathy and EQ....also IQ considering she can't say it all because she didn't even know he was there!!!!! What good would that do??? Plus if they think it's dead future aerith in the resolution? Shouldn't they be more angry at her since she said little to no information to actually help him and said just vague shit??? She could have helped him more than tifa at that point because she knows more right but didn't??? Oh good lord and they think they know the devs better??? Yet they stilll consider tifa a bully even after ToTP???? Sorry for the rant, pretty new to the fandom (after 1 year catching up at most) but were they always this stupid and crazy???? Rejoicing on KH, a single forced date, relying mostly only on devs interviews instead of game content, optional dress, etc???? There's so much out of content it's like asking for bread crumbs when he couldn't even visit her church even as a friend when it's so close to the HW area, both vers low and high he chose tifa and cleriths here thinking its true love??? jesus christ. In low, he stayed despite probably feeling he doesn't deserve the happiness because he failed to prioritize her (like in AC, so he was cold and self-absorbed), in high, he slept with her period. I just want to see they're mental breakdown once she dies and tifa and cloud get a kissing scene on rendered cgi, one they couldn't edit (hopefully).

Btw saw an idiot who say " that people are more concerned with who cloud kisses instead of the new graphics etc" law and behold its a fucking clerith. Why are they acting all high and mighty??? When they're the first one to be so abnormaly obsessed with the "kiss part" of their statement if they get a content even so desperately little??? Did they forget they're shitty take on hollow???? Lol now they're saying we shouldn't be so sure with the trailer but they're so sure about hollow??? Wtf? Do they think that's making them look smart??? Why do they mostly all act this way????

Also, before they think they get the devs, they better ask if they actually get the characters and especially the one they think they're a fan of. I'm neutral on aerith but it's sad that there are a lot of people who don't really get the real workings of her heart. It's even more sad that due to their shipping glasses they fail to get one of the most important theme/moment in the game, her death!!!! Smfh they really think she's gonna live?? Sephiroth, devs nor cloti aren't their biggest enemy on that but new players who don't care to play OG or part 1!!! FF7 has a brand and they're gonna keep it.

Thank you for listening to my rant, hope you have a good day. Im really sorry about this burst of rant but I just hate it since it ruins what the game wants to really say. It actually has a good message if only they're capable of actually seeing that. I personally don't ship cloti , im neutral but I consider them because you don't question how Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are in love right?? It's right there in the fcking story on it's own unless your eyes were closed the whole time.

So I shared this same clip on twitter the other day. You can literally hear Tifa say "as far as I know" meaning she isn't sure.

Nojima is slapping lying Tifa haters with every bit of this game and companion works and they're still desperately trying to claim they're in the right.

It's funny af watching them meltdown rn over Sephiroth saying Tifa's name in the trailer. They've claimed he don't know her. They're dumb. They've claimed the devs are doing a fake out by having Sephiroth talk about Tifa but "they really mean Aerith". They're deluded af and they know time's up and the hoad is waiting to humiliate them 🤣

[nahalism]

Why would you tell your partner that you met someone that made you feels things? 💀 I mean maybe that’s what you’re into but if we’re talking about committed monogamous relationships I find it weird that you would tell your partner about every person you met during the day and felt like fucking. If I was in the situation where my partner would treat me like that I would dead ass ghost them, not even break up just cut off all contact because I would think they’re playing with me/trying to emotionally abuse me. The way you see things is interesting.

😂😭 idk if this is the same person but i feel like each time i say something you misconstrue it or take a snippet and apply it to a completely different situation. u know we dont have to agree, right? u asked for my opinion and i gave it. lol das all.

i didnt say id tell my partner about every person i felt like fucking. im pretty sure i already said lust couldnt hold a candle to the kind of love i like to experience in my partnerships. what i did say is that id tell them if there was someone else i could see myself developing a connection with thats as serious as what i share with them. as thats something that almost never happens to me, it would be significant enough for me to bring it up. im not just trying to torture them with unnecessary information / by playing mind games. its possible to communicate with compassion, maturity and still be 100% transparent. — im also a completely different person to you and like being able to be transparent with my partner. id be put off by someone who cant make room for my truth because they cant see past what they want and how it offends them. — thats literally the beauty of the world tho. different people desire different dynamics & there are people out there who will match u, and people that will match me. full stop.

i genuinely see love as part of a human experience & self expression. i would never try to limit my own, or someone elses experience, or cull how they express themselves with ultimatums. if somethings become unhealthy or malicious thats a completely different topic. but thats not what i was referring to. so yh. i dont think i have anything original to say on this anymore so ima leave it here. but love <3

[uneducated-author]

I know I said I wouldn't talk about it, but since you're wondering, yes the god-like character Dazai came into contact with but didn't nullify is Sigma. The theory I alluded to was that Sigma wasn't just created from the book, but is The Book itself in human form.

[https://www.tumblr.com/vampireonastick/694131792916152320/what-if-sigma-is-the-book?source=share] (The theory is almost a year old but nothing as of yet confirms or denies it)

It does have backing like Sigma being written directly into The Book rather than from a page and that the Decay couldn't have been the ones who created him because him going years being trafficked would have made little sense— especially when they could have written him as perfectly obedient to the ideology of the Decay and wrote him where they could easily locate him.

[https://www.tumblr.com/dazaistabletop/683826086154567680/guildsarchitect-ok-heres-the-sigma-post?source=share]

So if we take this theory and the fact that Dazai danced with Sigma and very much made contact with him but Sigma didn't go poof, we can say that The Book isn't an ability of someone because if it was, touching a creation of that ability would've caused it to cease to be (Like Q's doll). Also, by virtue of it still having anomalous powers of writing and rewriting reality, it's not normal. The Book is said to have every possible outcome that could ever happen that branches off in its own universe (If I remember correctly this is said in BEAST? I have not read nor have interest in reading BEAST so take that with a grain of salt) and something like that is obviously god-like just by existing.

There is also the theory that Dazai's dance with Sigma had an ulterior motive for which I will quote one of the two reasons why:

“2. Dazai wanted to touch Sigma because he wanted to use his nullification ability on him. Knowing Sigma is a product of The Book, seeing if Dazai’s ability has any effect on him could be beneficial to Dazai, especially if he is thinking of using The Book himself in the future.”

As far as I'm aware, the BEAST universe exists because Dazai got his hands on The Book and if Sigma is The Book, well... it's no wonder Dazai of all people got his hands on it if it's that close by. [https://www.tumblr.com/vampireonastick/694165005381287936/im-wondering-if-dazai-had-ulterior-motives-when?source=share]

For my last two points, I want to reiterate about Atsushi being the key to finding The Book as what this whole thing was about since the very beginning. In the Skyfall chapters, when Sigma is about to plummet to what would have been his death, Atsushi grabs him and tries to save him. Not just because they need the page and Sigma is the only one of the Decay they have access to that can give them that information, but because Atsushi empathized with Sigma about how the latter didn't know what his purpose in life was and Atsushi didn't want him to die like that. Sigma freely gave that information to Atsushi rather than take it to the grave (or really just never give it to him since Nikolai saved him) because he was touched by Atsushi's kindness.

When it was said that Atsushi was the key to obtaining The Book— if Sigma is The Book— then at that moment right there we see why. Not only that but, Sigma is similar enough personality wise that Dazai himself literally remarks that Sigma is similar to Atsushi.

So yeah, Sigma might be The Book but it hasn't been confirmed or denied yet but if he is, then he's a god-like being rather than simply an ability user created from The Book with this supported by Dazai's ability not making him go poof and the only other straight up God that Dazai came into direct contact with is Lovecraft because Atsushi's ability, whether a God or not, is still an ability and not immune.

Very interesting! Definitely makes the rampant Atsushi Sigma parallels and comparisons make a lot more sense. I thought Dazai dancing with Sigma was more a manipulation tactic to bring him over to the side of the ADA, but checking if he would discorporate is way more interesting (and low-key horrifying). I love the potential of Sigma joining the ADA as a manifestation of a literal reality altering artefact, and being the LEAST weird person there.

I had assumed then, like how Dazai doesn't disappear the dolls from Q's ability, just their power, he would merely strip Sigma's ability, but now I'm interested in how Dazai would interact with the Sky Casino. He seems (or maybe pretends) to be surprised at the revelation that Sigma and the Casino are written from the book 'can you even call that human?' and I wonder if a secondary part of him motivation for being is Meursalt is because at the time he was unsure on how the Casino would interact with him. It's also interesting that the book has had no real affect on him like it has with the detective agency. They have been posited in the position of killers, made to be suspected criminals with the mind manipulation of law enforcement, but Dazai, partially because he removed himself from the equation, has not yet taken any action under the control of the book.

I love the point you raised about Atsushi being the one to find the book, and how the 'Sigma is the book theory' opens up so many interesting plot points, as well as means that there are such different interpretations of other scenes.

Sigma's repeated self reference to himself as 'an ordinary person' then takes on a whole new light, especially if he's unaware of his... Not quite heritage, but reality. It would also make his working under the decay of angels an incredibly interesting sort of plot point.

Oh and thanks for the link to the fifteen translation. My exams just finished a few days ago, so I should have time to read it! I fear I shall become infuriatingly annoying to my friends as I overanalyse every written word 😅

[artemisbarnowl]

When you're not staying up past your bedtime tell us your thoughts about checking up on people via social media!

Thank you for indulging me this long weekend why would you do this

Warning I'm gonna be pathetic because i am still grieving a nine year relationship and grieving, especially in this context, feels so UNDIGNIFIED. Also its my grieving thoughts about the socials thing not like well srticulated thoughts about the socials with some grieving mixed in. I just have a lot of feelings and i need to get them out.

1. Like, ultimately don't. Its not helpful at all i think. Unless if literally is just idle curiosity about what happened to someone in your class from ten years ago and you actually dont care what you find.

2. I am experiencing the urge to check up on my ex CONSTANTLY. (They do not really use social media this doesnt amount to much btw). I understand why people be lurking on someones insta or whatever to see what theyve been up to. Sometimes you hope theyre failing and miserable because they did you wrong and you want to feel validated. In my particular case i am worried, and i miss them. There are no posts for me to see or wonder about so this is useless but i think i also want to see that my ex is sad (because i was important to him for such a long time) but also, not like, too sad. And I'm fantasising about him sort of DOing something about it. I want to see what he's up to. Is is dancing? Is he injured? Is he Making? Is he finding small joys in life like hanging out with friends or seeing a cute creature on a walk? Seeing posts about these things would not help me! Because i would likely assume he was not sad, then i would feel angry and bitter and disappointed in myself for wasting my time. We dont share when we are sad (or why) on socials. I am NEVER going to see a post that effectively says "my smart and beautiful and extraordinary girlfriend of 9 years left me, and I am sad i couldn't be what she needed. I miss her a lot and wish i could have showed her this garden i saw today, she would have loved it. I will never forget her and dont know how to be okay with this". No one is going to see that. But ultimately i think we check up on people because what we want to see is some variation of that, so we can feel validated and know that they UNDERSTAND how were feeling.

Because this is tumblr I have made stupid posts a bit like this! I miss him all the time, i made a facebook post about a doco that I watched in the hopes that he would see it and watch it, because i think he'd like all the adorable english woodland creatures. This is also stupid! As are posts showing how well youre doing in hopes ypur ex seems them and feels stupid. Devoting this much energy to a game in your head where you will never get an outcome that satisfies you cannot help you move on or heal. But i do think its weird that we look for any possible thread that tied us to people we are without, even the terrible online ones that can never retie us! We talk to gravestones like the dead can hear us. I am currently checking my mailbox every day for a letter that might not ever arrive, and even if it does it sure and shit wont contain any information that helps me live my new single life where no one thinks I'm special, and there's no one I'm 100% comfortable to be all of myself around and who I dont get tired of being with.

I will never know if he saw the fb post, let alone watched and had opinions on the doco I talked about. Knowing wont help. He knew i have a tumblr but i dont think he'd go through it as its a huge pile of memes and stuff he wouldnt understand to look for 3 things that say im sad. And again, knowing I'm sad won't help.

Normally im very good at being like "well this is unproductive/not the best course of action" and then, you know, STOPPING but unfortunately I will continue to wonder how he is and what hes up to and cling to actually unreasonable, unfounded fantasies of what happens IF he sees.

Anyway this is a long vent that basically says i think i get why people do it now but ultimately it will never bring the carthsis we hope for (:

He knew i had a tumblr but I dont think he's checking up on me coz. Whats the point. Its a lot of stupid memes for 3 im sad posts. Which accomplish nothing as discussed.

[moodr1ng]

the need for lgbt people and spaces to be allowed to be sexual without shame, fear, or scrutiny, and to openly discuss how and why people have sex, isnt only absolutely not an attack on lgbt asexuals - but also, demanding that discussions about sexuality be toned down or silenced for the comfort of asexual people is in fact completely contrary to the aims of asexual activism imo.

eventually, lgbt people demanding the right to have safe, free sex without shame shares a major similarity with the demand of asexuals to be able to safely and freely not have sex without shame: choice. we are all asking for the choice to live our relationship to our sexuality without being unfairly policed, pressured, or shamed. this ties in with the general idea of sexual liberation - when sex is not taboo, when sex is not shameful, when its a subject we can comfortably communicate about and share information about, thats an environment where we can discuss boundaries, where we can discuss desire, where we can figure out our relationship to sex and know what we do or dont want from it, and where asexuals can share their experiences and thoughts on sexuality and others can come to understand their perspectives - it seems like in order to reach a greater understanding of the asexual experience and of what asexuals need from their community and from others necessitates a shameless, open discussion of sex! the freedom to have sex IS the freedom to not have sex. its about being able to make informed, safe choices about what we want our sex lives to be.

personally as a stone butch, while i havent ided as asexual in a number of years, i want to have this conversation about boundaries, about having stricter boundaries around sex and intimacy than most people, and about the shame and incomprehension we may face from partners, friends, our lgbt communities because we have those boundaries. i can see a space where sharing this perspective w asexuals and understanding each others experiences would be super interesting and probably would lead to a lot more new ideas and things to think about. but we cant have these conversations if we assume the topic of sex must be sanitized out of the lgbt community bc bringing up sex is apparently excluding asexuals.

which, like. asexuality has a very direct link to sex. in its most commonly used definition, 'asexual' literally describes someones relationship to sex. if someone tells me theyre asexual, theyre literally telling me something about how they feel about sex and whether or not they feel a desire to have sex with people. we cant discuss asexuality without discussing sex! and if we want to have these conversations about sexual freedom, we cant simultaneously say that thats ok, but other lgbt people talking about their relationship to sex is forcing it onto others or exclusionary or offensive. at that point thats just classic homophobia.

if any discussion of sex makes you uncomfortable thats fair (though itd probably be a good idea to find out why and whether this is indicative of an underlying trauma?) and youre free to avoid the topic for yourself but i dont think you can claim thats a need for the whole asexual community or that its detrimental to ace people to discuss sex in spaces theyre in. open, judgment-free information and conversation about sex = better for everyone...

(obligatory this-should-be-obvious disclaimer that not all convos about sex are appropriate in all spaces and at all times and with everyone, etc, clearly not what im saying.)

[my-lunaberg]

I got sick and didnt feel like watching dsmp so I just watched a bunch of random movies I found on my german piracy site of choice for almost a week but now Im better and Im about to watch Eryns origin story and idk man, I just felt like sharing my thoughts about that guy so far

First of all, Im so curious about this concept of any dsmp character having an origin story bc its like. their origin story is that they showed up. thats it. Like yeah, a lot of people very obviously have histories going back to before they showed up on the smp but theyre never really elaborated upon. Niki and Wilbur would kill for eachother with no hesitation, no explaination needed, stuff like that

Also, Im curious about some of the demon lore we'll potentially get bc like, demons arent a thing in minecraft the way slimes or endermen are but Eryn said he is one and also actually confirmed that BBH is one as well (I think he did anyway, I know its been popular fanon for a while but I dont remember it being brought up in canon before he said it), so Im curious how theyre gonna be integrated. My prediction is that theyre basically just gonna be like, the nether-equivalent of humans. Like, in the overworld the humans (or player characters ig) are the only sapient creatures and in the nether its demons.

But thats general lore stuff, now I wanna talk about my guy Eryn !!!! :D

I like him so much and idek why. Hes just a fun guy a fun lil guy I love him :D

I guess the best way to describe it would be like, Im very charmed by him. I love that hes like, this edgy-lookin ninja guy who likes to cause trouble, hes really the chaotic teenage boy this server has been missing ever since every other teenage boy has either been horrifically traumatized or is Purpled. I also like that, despite him being this chaotic teen boy who does what he wants, he seems to very sincerely admire Eret and listens to them for some reason ?? I say 'for some reason' because Eret has kinda been old news for a long time, like the fact that theyre a king doesnt mean anything because actual governments just kinda stopped mattering to everyone except for Wilbur and Quackity, but that honestly just makes it more charming. Eryn and Erets entire dynamic is just so good idk why, but its so comfy and chill in a way where you can tell theyre still just aquaintances but its still so nice yknow. This kinda ties into my previous point as well, I really like how he put a shit ton of effort into getting good knight armor and honestly really wants to be a knight while also demonstrating that hes willing and able to like, steal shit from the prison

Another thing that I find really interesting is his complete and utter lack of connection or interaction with Dream. Like, he arrived after Dream had long been in prison and while he left an undeniable impact on literally everything in the server, no one really. talked about it? Eryn seemingly had to go out of his way to get any kind of information because when Dream was still locked up everyone was all like "welp, the big badscary villain man is gone, and we're all safe so we dont have to worry about him anymore and we'd rather not talk or think about him lest we spoil everyones good mood" and then when he escaped they were all like "oh no, we're already feeling so anxious and bad bc we dont know where he is so we'd rather not talk about him lest we make everyone feel even worse when everything is already so terrible". His mindset is that Dream hasnt harmed him personally and hes never really interacted with him so he doesnt really have an opinion on him, which is very interesting as well. On one hand, it seems a bit naive to think that way when literally everyone keeps telling him how horrible that guy is, but also, while none of the conflicts on the dream smp have ever been caused by mob mentality, they have certainly been exercabated by it, so i guess its better to have less of it

I do have mixed feelings about that though. I feel like I'd need to see Eryn interact with Dream in order to really form an opinion on that and I feel like they might actually do that. Like, Eryn is Tommys friend and I think if Dream somehow found out that he doesnt have any negative feelings towards him on the basis of "he hasnt harmed me personally", he would definitely try to exploit that and I think that could be really interesting. If that doesnt happen in canon I might write an AU about it, probably not straight up villain!Eryn but maybe leaning more towards chaotic neutral idk

[menalez]

I really mean this as genuine advice: I think you need to learn from the past and stop oversharing on the internet. You don’t owe strangers any sort of explanation or clarification about your sexuality, I know it’s hard to ignore but it’s best to just leave it be rather than continuously giving more and more intimate details. They don’t actually care whether you’re a lesbian or not, they just want to upset you and make you keep telling your story over and over. Don’t give them the satisfaction.

Also… it’s just general good sense to not give too much of this sort of thing away online. Just maintain some sort of privacy for your own sake. We really, really don’t need to know this much detail about you.

none of this is new. these are the same things ive been repeatedly saying and despite that i get pestered with reminders of my trauma and abuse, except as a Gotcha! You Totally Enjoyed It And This Proves My Deranged Theory On Your Sexuality!. i know i dont owe anyone on here anything, im trying to get it through to their heads that theres an actual person behind the screen and that its sick how they treat traumatised women. im not going to sit by as people talk about me and lie about me repeatedly. any normal person would get sick of it especially when its a sensitive topic regarding their trauma.

i literally just want people to stop bringing up my trauma repeatedly. i dont care if they think im a lesbian or not. just stop bringing up my trauma and arguing i enjoyed it based on limited information i shared online a whole decade ago when i was in the closet and 15. whether i say sth or not i keep getting harassed over it and its been ongoing for years. thank u for the good intentions but i hope u understand that it’s frustrating when something that traumatised u is talked about by a whole section of ppl on tumblr and u get hassled by it and doubted over and over for years. no matter what i do it just keeps happening.