#I MISS HIM . IM EMOTIONALLY RUINED .

[duskerot]

finally getting around to watching a 23 year old show is crazy because im sitting here wailing like HOW IS NO ONE ELSE DISTRAUGHT ABOUT THIS and the thing in question got revealed almost my entire lifetime ago

[decentishoutsidersthoughts]

PLEASE TALK MORE ABOUT SODAS MIDDLE CHILD SYNDROME

IM OBSESSED WITH SODA ANGST BECAUSE THERE NEVER IS ANY FICS AND PEOPLE NEVER TALK ABOUT IT😭

I think we don’t pay enough attention to how ignored Soda is in canon. He gets put in a position of responsibility where he seems to mostly handle everything himself and everybody is fine with that. BUT HE IS STILL 16. Hell, he spends a good chunk of the book upset over a girl. He sneaks food coloring into mashed potatoes because he likes his food to the colorful. He is not some mature adult who ‘doesn’t need to be worried about’. He’s a kid who lost his parents and is faking it until he physically and emotionally can’t anymore because he doesn’t know what else to do.

His breakdown at the end of the book is such a good way of tying off the last loose end. He’s been the one holding the family together this whole time and in the scene he’s still trying to mediate between them while he’s actively sobbing. It’s such a beautiful scene but it’s also heartbreaking it had to happen in the first place.

The stuff Soda says in the end isn’t anything we haven’t heard throughout the book. He’s telling Darry to loosen up on Ponyboy. He’s telling Ponyboy to try harder to understand Darry. He’s been telling them to stop fighting the entire book, to please act like they actually love eachother. He’s been saying this the whole time and he still has to have a mental breakdown and run out of the house for anybody to actually listen. 

As somebody Soda’s age, I am not equipped to handle ANY of the shit that he went through during the book. Especially not within the same year, with a lot of it happening in the same week. Nobody I know is. And yet everybody in his family is surprised when he snaps???? And I get that both Darry and Ponyboy love Soda a lot. Ponyboy even admits to loving him more than he’s ever loved anybody. But he’s clearly lacking in people who actually notice when something’s wrong and listen to him.

Also, even him objectively being the middle child aside. I think it’s also that Soda just isn’t the ‘problem’ child. It’s really easy to forget about him because Ponyboy is genuinely so much more worrying and so much more high stakes. Darry even says that he doesn’t have to worry about Soda because he uses his head. He’s the one who comes home on time and doesn’t get himself jumped. He’s also the one who doesn’t have a future to ruin, as depressing as that is. 

Idk I could talk about how his flirtatious personality and charm is used as a way for him to try and get the attention he misses out on a lot of the time but that verges more into headcannon territory which would be its own post.

So yeah, Sodapop Curtis

[incorrect-riordanverse]

finally reading tsats here are my live thoughts (spoilers, obviously):

i’m so excited because some pages are darkly decorated and its so cool. still don’t vibe with the title though (the sun IS a star and its peeving me)

why are we talking about dating darth vader 😟 where are we rn (anakin is a yes, but DARTH VADER???)

maybe i’m too old but the jokes are not funny 😭

“this whole place feels like my soul. empty and dark. dark as the pit of the underworld.” <- i don’t care if he’s joking nico would never say thissss 🙏😭 we’re only 10 pages in but please stop butchering my fav character he’s not himselffff i am cringing so bad

i know i’m being dramatic but if they do nico dirty in this book i’m going to end it all

oh my god i don’t think i’ve thought about the words “significant annoyance” in so long. bringing back good memories for sure.

i can tell which parts were written by riordan and which parts were written by oshiro. i don’t think their voices are blending very well together…

also, maybe it’s because it’s the start of the book and they’re trying to familiarise new readers quickly with the characters but it feels like they’re making nico the caricature of ‘emo and shadow and ebony darkness dementia raven way 🥀⛓️🖤’ and will the caricature of ‘happy and sunshine and blonde and flower gleam and glow ☀️🌈🫧’ and i usually like this dynamic when it’s not blatantly pointed out every other page. i have faith they’ll show more complexity than this later on though. future yan will let me know by the end. (future yan here, im not at the end but the characterisation def does get more complex thank gods)

oh ok so it is bob the titan

since when was nico’s actual name niccolo??? how did i forget this detail??

“you have to listen if not you’ll share my fate.” “ominous much?” <- ok he’s finally himself again guys it’s all good

the one-sided beef nico has with percy will never not be funny

“cookie monster appeared over the mouth of the jar, reached inside and gobbled up nico like the chocolate-chip cookie he was.” <- nevermind i’ve gone back to hating this book again

“what was one straight boy when you spent your whole life longing for the impossible?” <- i’m reminded of that time a few years back where everyone made ‘having an unrequited crush on percy’ nico’s whole fanon personality, so i’m glad they addressed this somewhat. this boy has been through so much and people really thought crushing on percy was the biggest thing to focus on about ‘nico angst.’

“we made a mistake. you have to fix it.” <- call me a red flag but if i was nico i would do anything and everything to not go. i would medicate myself so highly on sleeping pills that i can’t dream (doctor bf can go kick rocks). i would track percy and annabeth down and haul their asses into tartarus instead to do it. and if i had to go i would only go in to kill bob myself for sending me those traumatic ass nightmares. no thx. bro willingly jumped in himself and now wants me to save him. nuh uh.

not cupid being will 😭 its like his aphrodite 😭 i am not well.

they always have a really good and emotionally moving scene and they ruin it with a dumb joke. let it be heavy 👏👏

something’s really fishy and i have a feeling that it might not be bob calling for him

if this whole “grumpy ball of darkness” thing continues i will actually lose it

you can’t tell me the percabeth pep talk was actually needed. i will forgive it because i miss them though

im sensing tension in the gap between nico’s connection to the underworld and his relationship with will and i’m here for ittttt. give me the dramaaa

who is the gorgyra girl and why is she in their business sm?

oh shit a will solace pov??? christmas came early 🙏

nevermind that whole nightmare sequence was so fucked up 😭😭

somebody HELP HIM i never thought we would get will angst (nico angst fs, but will???)

DONT JUMP IN THE STYX PLEASE

SOMEBODY TELL HIM HE’S HELPFUL OMG

nico strangling epiales in his sleep is so fucking cool he’s literally HIM he’s literally THAT GUY

[delulu-royaltea]

Mischaracterization in The Trolls fandom (And Fandom in General)

Some people miss the point of the character and that's okay. But what's not okay is being annoying about how much you misinterpret.

Some people need better media literacy. Because some people (not naming names), miss the point of Brozone entirely. The point is that they have flaws. But those flaws aren't their entire personality.

Some of y'all really compare what Creek did, to what the Brozone Brothers did

Creek: Helped in the attempted genocide of Pop trolls.

Brozone: Abandoned Branch.

Like....how are those even slightly comparable. But the real problem is the mischaracterization. IM SHOWING SOME POSTS. (IM NOT SHOWING WHO POSTED THEM BC I DON'T WANT THEM TO GET HARRASSED.) but this bitch missed the point so bad and is a hypocrite.

This kids is called an unreliable narrator.

BECAUSE YOU ONLY DESCRIBED CREEK ON THE SURFACE. Creek was a lying, manipulative asshole who did nothing but belittle Branch and try to get Poppy to abandon him. This only works because you cut out crucial details. Barely scratching Creeks deeds while hyper focusing on Brozones mistakes

The mischaracterization makes sense since the person had "Creek fan" in their bio. And the "Emotionally tearing him down" Bruce calling him a baby ONCE. And they DID feel bad AFTER BRANCH CALLED THEM OUT. So your point is completely wrong.

and this is what they wanted Branch to do as revenge. Idk what that means but.. it sounds like they wanted him to become an abuser. Like wtf. You're whole bio says you "overanalyze kids shows and movies". Like bitch huh? Not only is this completely out of character for Branch but have you ever heard 2 wrongs don't make a right?

Branch already got his "revenge" by rubbing it in his brothers faces that he joined a band. That's in character. BECOMING AN ABUSER IS NOT.

How can someone mischaracterize so hard and anytime this user was told about how they were missing the point. They throw a temper tantrum. There is no point reasoning with these kinds of people.

But this is a bigger problem. The "woobification" of Branch. He's not some "Sad Uwu Poor Baby 🥺" like some people will see a character with trauma and make it their entire personality. (I say that while Total Eclipse of The Heart is mainly about his trauma). And the demonization of the brothers, all of a sudden their some "Heartless assholes who twamatizewd Poor Wittle Bwanch🥺 and never showed any remorse.😡"

What's this then? 🤨

This is an issue for Fandom in General. People will mischaracterize so much that it ruins the original content

Some examples of which being:

Jax (TADC)

Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)

Vox (Hazbin Hotel)

William Afton (FNaF)

Yukari Takaeba (Persona)

Jotaro Kujo (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)

Goku (Dragon Ball/Z/Super)

That's not even all of them!

It's even become a whole meme that fanon is so far off that it's unrecognizable from the original. A character can mention they like coffee ONCE and it's their whole personality.

I know this is a long post but I have seen so much Brozone hate that completely mischaracterizes them.

If you made it this far thank you for reading this

[ofcowardiceandkings]

so in those [mumble mumble] years between BotW and TotK, the Zora replaced the weathered and unreadable monuments with new history writing by Sidon, and their contents have left me hmm emotionally compromised ??

i was gonna list em out in full but then i read them all and Sidon waffles so much bless him LOL

full transcripts below (+ the 11th monument in the Domain itself) expect Sidon being an adorable goof, Zora Deep Lore, waterbending, SO much gushing over Mipha and Link, Zelda being a sweetheart, and surprise Yona content !!!

just for clarity, i've highlighted the first word of each on-screen chunk of text ... i love Sidon so much but he's so verbose i kept missing the full log lol but im glad he went all in, its earnest, descriptive and poetic :') 💙 RIP the stonemasons ...

Learnings of the Zora, Part One The Waters of Zora's Domain As told by Prince Sidon

Long, long ago, right here in Lanayru, incredible transformations, both subtle and drastic in nature, shaped the land. The tall mountains birthed clouds, these clouds cried tears of rain, and this rain filled our deep valleys past the brim. In time, this overflowing water became the Zora River, which bred waterfalls that fell and nourished the vast Lanayru Wetlands. Perhaps it was inevitable that my Zora ancestors, who wandered in search of precious water, would finally settle here. The mountains of Lanayru are blessed with high-quality stone. The structures built from said stone are solid yet refined. Just like the Zora and our domain, our buildings exist in harmony with the water. It is a beautiful symbol of our way of life. If you go to the edge of the domain, close your eyes, and listen closely ... you shall be greeted by the gentle sound of water. This kind, soothing sound is a testament to the happy life the Zora are so grateful to have found here. As one born of royal Zora blood, my duty is as clear as it is unshakeable. I, Sidon, swear here and now ... I shall protect our home with my very life, that the gentle sound of water may never cease in our beloved domain.

Learnings of the Zora, Part Two The Legend of Ruto, Our Great Ancestor As told by Prince Sidon

It is written that long ago there was a strong-willed Zora princess who was as meandering as a winding river. This princess, who was dearly loved by her fellow Zora, was noble as she was innocent. Her name was Ruto. One day, a powerful and wicked man tried to take over Hyrule and brought great ruin to the once-peaceful Zora's Domain. Our tales speak of falled Zora soldiers drifting down the river as it sadly reflected the chaotic retreat of the terrified Zora. Princess Ruto bravely fought back her tears and she bore witness to the tragic misery unfolding in the domain. Even amid her heartbreak, the Zora princess did all she coult to help the weak and elderly escape. Next she swam against the river's current and climbed the mighty waterfall to challenge her foe. The details of this fight have fallen victim to the haze of time. Few details remain. Still, it is said she was aided by the princess of Hyrule and the hero of legend, and together they saved Hyrule. So the legend goes. I, Sidon, prince of the Zoram cannot help but ponder these events as I listen to the Zora children play in all their innocence. As Princess Ruta's descendant, it is my fate to carry the torch of her brave acts into tomorrow and beyond. I shall not fail.

Learnings of the Zora, Part Three The Great King Dorephan As told by Prince Sidon

Several springs after I lost my dear sister, Mipha, a large group of Lizalfos attacked the domain. It mattered not that this was my first true battle. The expectations of those around me weighed heavy on my shoulders. The absence of Mipha, who had always been there to encourage me with loving kindness, was like a spear to my heart. As for my own spear, though I was highly trained for its use, it seemed to only cut the air and slash the water's surface. I was taken off guard by a surprise attach from three Lizalfos hiding at the water's edge, each with their blade fixed on me. I knew that my time had come ... and that is when the three Lizalfos disappeared, as quickly as they had arrived. In their place, I saw the towering figure of my father, the great King Dorephan, who had just bested my foes with ease. "Sidon, my son," he said firmly. "You allwed your heart to falter. That is the quickest way to fall on the battlefield." His words cut deep, but as I stood on the brink of dispair, a familiar gently encouraged me. "Your king needs you." Many soldiers later attested they were certain they had also heard the sweet voice of Mipha on that day. From then on, my heart was true and my resolve firm. By lending strength to our king, we were able to save the domain.

Learnings of the Zora, Part Four Two Sisters of Different Blood As told by Prince Sidon

When I was young, I had an irrational fear of strangers. I was particularly bashful around Yona. Paralyzed, even. She was already so mature in manner, and she treated me like a little brother, even though we were not related. There came an unseasonably heavy rain that quickly flooded the river. Us children, who were playing there, were swept away. I was battered by the water's strong flow, my fins helpless to resist. It was Yona who dragged me to the safety of the shore. The water continued to swell as the shore waned, but Yona was unflappable, sweetly comforting me as I shivered in fear. It was Mipha, my dear sister, who finally showed up to rescue us with other Zora adults in tow. I still remember Yona's face as she gazed up at Mipha in admiration. My face must have looked the same as I gazed at Yona. As a child, I had two big sisters. One by birth and one by chance. Yona looked up to Mipha, and I was in awe of them both. Before I knew it, years had passed, and my feelings for Yona became more difficult to quantify. Then, one day ... My father informed me that the amazing young woman who had once been a like a sister to me was to be my bride. Perhaps these feelings and memories are too dear and private to commit to history, but such is the tale of this Zora prince.

Learnings of the Zora, Part Five The Zora Armor She Left Behind As told by Prince Sidon

For some time after I lost my beloved sister, even in the light shining on the water seemed dark and dreary to my eyes. But as they say, time heals all wounds, no matter how deep. I can now speak of her with a smile, as is only fitting. I shall now tell the tale of the Zora armor that my sister crafted for her future husband, as per our ancient custom. One dark day, the domain was in great peril, and I sought help from a traveling Hylian to save our home. He was sparing with his words, yet I trusted him at once. As fate would have it, he was a childhood friend of Mipha's. My father, King Dorephan, troubled by the domain's suffering, requested his help. The swordsman agreed without hesitation. Father bequeathed my sister's Zora armor to this courageous soul, along with her hopes for the safety of the domain. The armor fit Link perfectly - so perfectly that councilman Muzu, who then harbored a hatred of Hylians, could not object. My sister had already left this world, and with her went the dearly held intentions that she had instilled within that special armor. Yet, with Link's help, she shined a light on the Zora in our hour of need, reaching between worlds with gentle fingertips.

Learnings of the Zora, Part Six The Story of Mipha Court: The Beginning As told by Prince Sidon

There was once a terrifying monster on Ploymus Mountain, loosing shock arrows on all who dared to cross its path. It was of utmost importance to drive the beast away, but as the Zora are weak to electricity, our efforts were futile. That is when a lone Hylian arrived at the domain. This swordsman who was sparing with his words ... his name was Link. Unlike us Zora, he was immune to shocks! Well perhaps that is an exaggeration, but one thing is certain. He was very brave. After careful preparation, he ascended Ploymus Mountain and defeated the foul beast all by himself. As if in celebration of newfound peace, clean water mysteriously began flowing at the top of Ploymus Mountain. That is when many Zora, if not most, voiced support for building a place that all could enjoy in that formerly frightful spot. Yet the many tree roots and stones made this task tricky, leading to a focus on the no-less-difficult matter of the name. "Zora Park" was too obvious. "Ploymus Park" only conjured images of the former terrors found there. When I candidly asked whether we should focus on the hard work at hand rather than the name, they all turned my way. "Prince Sidon," they asked. "Surely you must have a good suggestion?" To that, I fell silent, and stayed so for a long while. I shall write the conclusion of this story on another monument.

Learnings of the Zora, Part Six The Story of Mipha Court: The Conclusion As told by Prince Sidon

The first half of this tale can be found on another stone monument. If it is not too much trouble, I advise reading that first. I now present the conclusion. When posed with the task of naming this storied location, I, Prince Sidon, fell silent. After a time, I timidly proposed the one and only name that came to mind for this place of newfound peace. I suggested that we name it after my beloved sister who had long been lost to us ... Mipha Court. I worried they would think I was unfairly favoring my own family's legacy by naming it after my kin. A hush fell over the group. After a time, one of the stonemasons raised his voice in agreement. More voices joined his, one after another. The idea was embraced whlly, and the craftsmen all returned to their work. Though the work was grueling, from then until the completion of Mipha Court, the air was filled with laughter and singing. This incident drove home to my very core how much everyone loved my sister. I hope one day to inspire such admiration. If there is ever to be a Sidon Court, I must work tirelessly to earn that honor.

Learnings of the Zora, Part Seven The Prince and the Swordsman As told by Prince Sidon

The rain always stops ... except when it does not. This humourous saying was once repeated with a soft chuckle around here. Then, one day, heavy rain started falling in the domain, and no matter how many days passed it did not cease. Although the Zora are a water-dwelling sort, we came to miss the warmth of the sun and dry winds upon our backs. Alas, as fervent as our desire was, we had no means of stopping the cause of this unprecedented disaster. When all had given up hope, I, Sidon, took it upon myself to invite a Hylian to the domain. This young swordsman of few words was named Link. I trusted him at once, sensing great devotion in his kind eyes. It was immediately clear that my instincts were correct. Thanks to Link, we were able to face the thread head on. Our battle with the source of the disaster was intense by my newfound friend and I refused to yield until we finally triumphed. Sometimes, writen words flow so much more readily than those spoken ... Link, my dearest friend, you are an unparalleled swordsman, and I admire you so very much. He may lack fins and gills, but it matters not. This hero among heroes exudes magnificence tempered with steadiness. Though we are different, our hearts both yearn to serve a higher calling. I learned much from him, and I am eternally grateful. As I recall my best friend, it occurs to me that though the rains have ceased, perhaps a true adventure never does.

Learnings of the Zora, Part Eight The Princess of Hyrule As told by Prince Sidon

One that despicable disaster had ceased to plague Zora's Domain, a distinguished yet humble lady paid us a visit. This young woman who appeared with Link at her side was none other than Princess Zelda of the royal family of Hyrule. "I beg forgiveness," she said earnestly. "Because of the royal family, Princess Mipha ..." She paused, unable to continue. Small, silent teardrops tumbled down her cheek and hit the floor, one after another, each saying a thousand unspaken words. She gently wiped her eyes and lifted her gaze to meet the king's, speaking kind words of gratitude for Mipha's sacrifice. We knew well that what had transpired was the result of a decision shared by the Zora and by Princess Mipha herself. There was no need for the princess of Hyrule's apology, and even less so for her sorrow. King Dorephan, along with the rest of the Zora, were moved by the depth of Princess Zelda's sincerity. She had held that unthinkable disaster at bay for nearly 100 years with nothing more than the sheer force of her own will. Yet she was not prideful. She dutifully set to work, traveling across Hyrule to secure cooperation for the kingdom's restoration. She was adored by all, yet so humble. She possessed an inner strength, but now I am not so certain. I feel a strong calling one day to acquire this same sort of strength within myself.

Learnings of the Zora, Anecdote One The Solid Water and the Fluid Spear As told by Prince Sidon

The Zora are not associated with water because of our dwelling place alone. We each also, to varying extents, possess the ability to actually manipulate water. We use this gift for many purposes. We use it to swim faster, to achieve mighty leaps from the waves below, to gather fish, and so much more. For me, the true awakening of this ability that many of my childhood chums already possessed came upon me quite suddenly. One day as I was training at Veiled Falls, the rain slickened my grasp, causing me to drop my spear. I reached to grab it, but it was already too far away. Soon it would fall to the bottom of the cliff, never to be seen again. I knew that I must take old of it, and at that moment, droplets created a stream extending from my outstretched hand. The water stream twisted and turned until it finally took hold of my falling spear and deftly returned it to my grasp. In that moment, the water was solid and my spear fluid. This sensation forever changed my approach to spearplay. I was reminded of how my sister, Mipha, described it ... and everything clicked. Water and spear became as one. Gaining yet another layer of admiration for my dear sister, I devoted myself to my spear training from then on.

Learnings of the Zora, Anecdote Two The Great Task Entrusted to Me As told by Prince Sidon

I, Sidon, was entrusted with the great task of renovating the Zora stone monuments that had fallen to ruin. There are 11 stone monuments total find in and around Zora's Domain, including the one you are now reading. The former text written by my father, King Dorephan, could not be salvaged, and so sadly it had to be replaced. Despite my royal blood, whispers abound that it is improper for someone my age to write over the king's glorious words. Ah, but do they not realize that it was King Dorephan himself who ordered me to undertake this restoration project? Father says it is not set in stone that I shall be the one to inherit the throne, as it is not a matter of blood alone. If we ask the eternal skies above whether I am fit to rule, they shall remain silent, and so we must look to our fellow Zora. He urged me to use these monuments to share my learnings and speak to our people straight from my heart. Father is older and wiser than I. His sage advice is a gift. As such, I have inscribed my thoughts upon these 11 stones. I do not know how far-reaching my words shall be, but it is my hope that they will reach whoever needs to hear them most. Until one of the descendants writes over my musings many years from now, I pray they resonate with whoever reads them.

WELL there we are, thanks for the history lesson Sidon you absolute sweetie fhjdkdjf i have thoughts and feelings and emotions but i wont make this post any longer than it already is but i love these characters byeeeEEE

[inkyquince]

I was about to wonder why you'd like him and saw that the unburnt/skinless side looks like Miguel o'hera and was like "yeah that's fair"

...can you tell I miss him

i... imma be so honest with you rn.

anon these men dont look alike to me.

but also dude i like him as a character and also his looks, in a totally seperate way to miguel.

it's like saying i like wren because he looks like whitney or somethin'

i miss miguel too but idk, im not currently writing a fic for miguel where he's switching rapidly from being a sadistic fuck to be so sweet and caring because it doesn't fit with his character.

fits with our king harvey's character tho

anyway, that's just one iteration of this king. and ive needed him gutteraly for a long as time with many different loooks to this king.

so of course, the comic book Harleen (2019) version:

king. angry king.

then there's the batman animated version:

i was recently getting back into batman and when regular harvey showed up? tossing his coin? instant squirt. ask any person i was chatting with regularly during that time. for the love of god i made horny compilation videos of JUST HIS VOICE.

... anyway.

from the long halloween

to robin: year 1

to batman: jekyll and hyde

to the detective comics with him and his ass in the air

this man has had a strong hold on him. now, real quick, the worst iteration of him, of course made by joel schumacher, collosal hack who ruined every IP he's ever touched from phantom of the opera to batman.

jumpscare warning?

sorry tommy lee jones, heard you hated working with jim carrey on this movie.

and lastly, the movie version that i'll be putting under the cut because yowza. oh and the cgi for his face burn is excellent so.

scroll to see if but ALL IN ALL.

Harvey Dent is my favourite tragic character of all time, and Im way more emotionally invested in his story than Miguel's ngl. Both amazing charactesr, but my guy, all of his iterations look different except for the obvious half of his face.

idk if im coming off mean, but idk, im thoroughly side eyeing you.

anyway, harvey dent from the dark knight under the cut because my god, he's hot and mad.

i need him viscerally ever since the dark knight game out in 200 and wot wot.

[devine-fem]

i know ive said before in the past that i don’t particularly want jondami/damijon to become canon because i feel like the writers would ruin it but how would YOU guys want jondami to be handled if it were up to you how they become canon?

ill go first.

First thing, we would have to have young jon question his sexuality in a authentic, nice way. be able to get into his head and him display like “i think girls are cute but… guys as well… is this normal?” just HAVE him be pathetically bisexual, i know that in a comic book that i cant remember a girl touched his hand and he accidentally used his super strength and broke the thing he was sitting on due to his hand clenching in reaction, basically i want there to be some sort of build up. THAT would be super nice bisexual representation. i wouldnt want their relationship to be rushed or spontaneous at all. maybe have it be mostly about jon and him trying to keep his feelings to himself because he doesn’t want to weird out damian, not wanna ruin their friendship etc etc. kind of sad but also itd be nice representation of the queer experience, since the supers are normal people, jon having a cliche and simple story would make sense for him. perhaps as jon is growing up as a hero, he experiences some thing that maybe will go into his feelings, like i know one time where he thought damian had died and he freaked out and rushed to find him, it could be like that, like having jon have moments in his heroism that makes him feel like “maybe i should confront this before its too late” - having jon think about how human damian is scare him in a way to the point he wants to be protective and his agency of needing to protect him be the thing that makes him confront and deconstruct his feelings… between jon and damion - jon would confess first, and for their confession, don’t let it be on a bloody battlefield, let it be in a safe controlled environment. im tired of the adrenaline pumping and passionate kiss trope, let the characters just talk it out so it feels genuine.

on damians side thats where itd be a little harder because i feel like damian would have to go through some stories and be in a place where hes fleshed out enough to start feeling normal human emotions, yknow? since he was raised as a weapon. he could just see jon as one of the few genuine friends that hes had and thats stuck with him. damian could also have a nice moment where he starts feeling simple emotions for jon like, comfort, adoration, missing him or jealousy but he doesn’t understand them so he acts out in a way that makes more sense to him, like the violence and rebellion pent up inside him. in my confession - if there would be a confession though, itd have to be in a safe setting for the both of then where they are just talking like i said. i feel like itd make sense for damian to even reject him at first, thinking his responsibility to the mantle is more important/ he doesnt have time for something like that. and he feels like he couldnt give jon emotionally what he deserves. then they could grow up (and in most people’s opinions i actually dont want jon or damian to become superman or batman, i want them to be their own thing. its the most boring part of their character and would be the biggest reason for the writers to not allow them to be in a relationship because that would mean superman and batman dated at one point or somethting) then after they grow up (it doesnt even need to be a long time after the confession, can be like months or so) and damian confronts himself he can go back and damian could be like “im not good at this type of thing, but i want to try” and then they could be together happily. because out of everything their mantles is the thing that pults them together but at the same time rips them apart. i ship them because they are polar opposites that have the same destiny but their paths are what damages the both of them the most and what holds together their relationship. theyd have to be friends or lovers more on normal terms, hang out outside of robin and superboy which we havent seen yet… at least not in comics where theyre hanging out JUST to hang out. then after they get together they can just be jon and damian, doing normal civilian things, perhaps they could also find different titles to bear as heroes like how dick became nightwing or something.

i also don’t want damian to lose his general, teasing and snide remarks to jon or anyone, keeping their dynamic the way it was as they were friends would be more fun but yeah thats me.

[nonexistent-introvert]

Attachments ( Busy pt 2)

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: angst with comfort, Javier Peña himself, anyth you would expect from narcos, ONE shitty attempt at Spanish im sorry

A/N: wow, i did not realise how long writing takes me these days. Wrote this instead of studying for my exam in two days because procrastination is the time when ideas hit.

this can be read as a standalone (i think?) but would be better with context from pt 1

Busy pt 1

   Javier sat in Calderón’s car. The air was thick with tension. Javier wasn’t an idiot, he just preferred to ignore it. He knew Calderón was accommodating to him, which he appreciated however the trust that should be between them was almost non-existent. Not after Javier confiscated everyone’s devices but Javier wasn’t willing to take any chances today. Even if it came at the price of trust. 

   The sound of paper crinkling annoyed him. He turned in his seat, curious to find the source of the sound. He shot a judgemental look at Feistl who was holding onto a wrinkled piece of paper. Fesitl merely unfolded the paper for Javier to see, revealing a kid’s drawing. A drawing with what Javier presumed was Feistl holding his son’s hand. “My kid gave it to me right before I went on this buy-bust. Some Jamaican took a rip at me, missed by that much, so..” He trailed off, gesturing with his hand just how close the bullet came to hitting him. He peered out of the window, “I rub it for luck ever since.” Feistl admitted, meeting Javier's eyes. Javier looked down at the paper in his hands, his heart tightening with additional burden and he turned away. His thoughts went back to the woman he left back home if he could call his shitty apartment a home anyways. He braced his arm against the window, his index finger resting against his mustache. He remembered the necklace that you had bought him, it had a beautiful ring on the necklace but he never wore it. It was still safely kept in its original box, he had brought it with him here in his luggage even if he refused to put it on. You never said anything about him not wearing the necklace although he did notice the subtle disappointment on your face when your eyes fall onto his bare neck.   The necklace felt too heavy on his hands, he didn’t want to lose it. He didn’t want to stain the shiny metal with blood stains. The image of an unconscious him flashed into his mind, he was afraid that finding the necklace you had bought for him on his corpse would be too much to bear. If he was a more emotionally vulnerable man maybe he would turn back and ask Feistl how he bared to bring such a sentimental item along with him whenever he went. Was he not afraid of losing it or ruining it? Instead, Javier basked in the silence in the car. Reminding himself to focus on the mission instead. He had to make it back to you in one piece after all. 

   Javier Peña was not one to have attachments. Truth be told, he was afraid of them. Afraid that these attachments would become his weaknesses, afraid that these weaknesses would be exploited by the narcos. It was the whole reason why he slept around and stuck to one-night stands than a committed relationship. Having someone who he knew he was willing to jeopardise the entire mission for, it felt like a burden. 

   You weren’t a burden. He knew that. He thinks of himself as more of a burden than you. You have to carry the weight of his crimes, learn to protect yourself and yet you chose him, someone who couldn’t even afford a lazy weekend with you. 

   He pushed these thoughts away as he exited the vehicle. Forcing himself to be the cold DEA agent Peña, he wore it so often that it felt like his second skin. 

   The sound of Javier’s voice scolded you as you walked the streets of Bogotá. If he was here, he would be nagging at you, reminding you of the dangers that lingered in the darkness. You blasted the music louder into your ears, hoping to drown his voice out. Javier isn’t here, as much as you wanted him to be. You were losing your mind staying in the apartment. The news wasn’t filled with gruesome reports about terrorism, the Cali cartel didn’t work that way. However, the lack of information was killing you all the same, and every call scared you. You were terrified of receiving news of Javier all the same. 

    Connie welcomed you to come over any time. Just above the apartment that you shared with Javier. While you appreciate the sentiment, you were never one to share your emotional burdens. “Like poles are supposed to repel, not attract.” Steve had commented once about your relationship with Javier. A comment that earned him a smack from Connie. You supposed he was right, Javier and you were alike in many ways. It was the reason why the both of you had hit it off so well. 

    You shook the thoughts about Javier away, you were supposed to clear your mind. 

    Javier shouted for you, his steps quickening as he searched the apartment for you. “Fuck!” He ran his hands through his hair. It was almost midnight, where the fuck could you have been? His muscles were sore, practically begging him to rest but his panic overridden any kind of exhaustion he was feeling then. He stared at the beer bottles on the table, were you drunk? His worry only grew, he wouldn’t hesitate to use all of the DEA's resources to track you down now. “Por favor (please)” he muttered, praying for your safety. That his job hasn’t cost you your safety. 

    His prayers were answered when the sound of the door opening caught his attention. Javier immediately turned off his phone, the phone that he was about to use to call Steve. 

   “Where have you been?” You swore you were going crazy. His voice was haunting you the moment you stepped into your apartment. “Cariño what happened?” Javier’s voice got louder as he was overwhelmed with emotions. His eyes were on the tear in your pants which revealed a bleeding scrape on your knee. Your eyes met his and you let out a shaky breath. Javier’s back, he came home. 

  “I’m all good. No injuries, no bruises.” He assured.

  Unable to hold back your overwhelming emotions, you pressed yourself against him and kissed him. Javier was quick to reciprocate the kiss, his hands gripping onto your waist. 

Your fingers were tangled in the curls of his hair, his eyes searched for yours as the both of you tried to catch your breaths. “Did something happen?” there was a hint of apprehension in his voice, Javier wouldn’t forgive himself if something did happen to you. You shook your head, “I’m losing my mind.” You vaguely replied. His thumb traced your arms, frowning even more when he traced against a rough patch of skin. Javier gently turned your arm, revealing a burn scar. “I burnt myself when cooking the other day.” you quickly explained, seeing the flames rising in his eyes. Javier shook his head, “Please tell me the truth.” His eyes fell on your bloodied knee. I am Javier, I swear.” His eyes studied you, “I’ve just been so distracted and got so clumsy. I was just so worried.” Javier’s heart shattered at the admission, swallowing down the lump in his throat. “I'm sorry cariño, I’m so sorry.” Javier led you to the couch. He ran off into the kitchen before returning with a first aid kit. 

     “Look how the tables have turned.” You said as Javier kneeled in front of you and prepared to clean the injury on your knee. Javier didn’t say anything, he knew exactly how much pain you go through when you clean his wounds for him. The cracking of his heart at every pained groan and moan was almost too much to bear. If he was so miserable cleaning an injury that you had gotten by accident, he could only imagine the torture you go through knowing the reason he got those injuries was because of his job. 

   “I promised to talk. You have to talk to me too.” He started. Your eyes looked towards the direction of the fridge where the promise he had made to you was still stuck on the front door. “Javi…” Javier didn’t respond, too focused on cleaning the dried blood around the injury. “I’m just so afraid of losing you all the time.” “I always come back home cariño.” Javier sighed. “I’m just afraid of losing you Javi. Both mentally and physically. Sometimes you come back with bandages, wounds and bruises that you try to hide from me. On other days, you come back looking fine but the emotional turmoil has taken its toll on you. On exceptionally bad days you come home with both.” You gripped the cushions of the couch tightly, you knew the words you were admitting to now sounded selfish like you didn’t want to deal with his problems. Javier remained silent, he forced himself to come back home, even if he brought back all the worst parts of himself. He wanted to come home to you so that he didn’t have to make you worry. “Javi, I know that it comes with being a DEA agent. I have come to terms with it when I told you I wanted to pursue this relationship with you. Understanding you doesn’t make me worry any lesser and I will never forgive myself if you gave up on this because of me.” Javier finished up with the scrape on your knee. His brown eyes looking at yours, guilt pooling in his gut. Javier gently lifted your hand and pressed a kiss onto your knuckles before letting his forehead rest against it. A silent apology, even if he can’t promise that he would never let you worry again. 

    “I just wished we are a couple even outside of this house.” There is was, the conclusion that took you so long to figure out. Suddenly, you were glad that you had taken the walk to clear your head. “Cariño, I don’t understand.” He muttered. You inhaled, taking a deep breath to find the right words. “I’ve been out with you more often when we weren’t dating. We talked more when we weren’t dating. You kept in contact with me even if you were across the state.” You listed, frowning slightly. “We seemed more like a couple when we weren’t officially dating.” Javier’s breath stilled, finally understanding your point. Once he started dating you, he drifted. Too afraid that he would put you in danger, afraid that when the narcos saw him getting close to you they would use you against him. He doubted anyone else in the embassy even knew he has a girlfriend other than Steve. “Steve calls home whenever he gets the chance to, the longest he went MIA was 5 days and Connie almost tore his head off for that.” You chuckled weakly as you recalled Connie telling you about it. “Even Pablo kept in contact with his wife when he was on the run.” Javier's fists clenched, it wasn’t nice being compared to Pablo but you were right, even he had sought out ways to keep in contact with his family. If he had almost lost all cool when he couldn’t find you in the apartment just an hour ago, he could only imagine what you felt when he doesn’t return home for weeks without any form of contact. 

    “You go weeks on end without contacting me and you appear at the door like an abandoned puppy. I love you Javi, I really do but I’m losing my mind wondering if you’re even dead or alive. I search for you desperately on news channels in case something happened, every call scares the shit out of me because I’m terrified of receiving bad news about you.”     “I’ll call. I’ll be with you” Javier simply promised, no arguments no nothing. He was so afraid of burying you with his sins, so afraid of losing you that he didn’t even realise that you were slowly slipping from his fingers. He blinked a few times, trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall. You looked at him, unsure of how to feel about his abrupt agreement. “I’m sorry cariño. I really am. I was just afraid that they would see me with you and I’ll…” Javier trailed off, shaking the horrifying thoughts from his mind. He had enough nightmares about things he saw with his two eyes, he didn’t need to add to the list.

   Javier pulled you into his lap, leaning his head against your shoulder while you circled your arms around his neck. Javier was never one for words, his touch was enough to convey his guilt and apologies that he could never express with words. 

  “Ooh Peña, sporting a new look?” Steve whistled upon seeing Javier. Javier grinned, picking up the ring on the necklace that you had bought him. “Needed something bright in my life,” Javier commented on how the ring sparkled lightly under the lights. “She really is bright. Getting you to come around.” Steve stated, knowing exactly where the necklace came from. He always hated Javier for being a stubborn mule. 

   Javier thought back on the grin on your face, the euphoria at seeing the necklace on his neck despite you trying your best to hide it. He smiled, “She really is.” he commented, tracing the ring with his thumb. 

   The necklace represented the promise he made to you, the promise to be with you for better or for worse. 

   When the time is right, he will make that promise official legally as well.

[socksandbuttons]

SOCKS!! Ruin explained that he copied some of Solar's code and gave it to Eclipse which is why he has become the way he is, or as Ruin said "slightly better than your previous self" Eclipse can keep denying it but he really *is* trying to bring Solar back and it makes me so happy SOBS If Eclipse does get redeemed and Solar comes back, I want these two to be like twins!!

Also, the part when Ruin brought up Earth and how she needs to learn to be cruel, and Eclipse told him "Why don't you leave her out of the conversation?" I was like "Protective Eclipse? (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)" Then Ruin chuckling and saying "Are you... No, I'm not gonna say any more. Don't want to ruin the surprise." Like say it!! You can't leave us hanging like this!! AAAAAA

-🥭

vbhjdfk I love seeing this and how people perceived what Ruin told Eclipse. If anything this just makes this a whole new person not really a Why he's become this way. (To be fair though, New Moon, Earth, Lunar and Sun after EVERYTHING?? The previous eclipse did?? They're jaded enough to roll with this Eclipses nonsense to a degree. Lunar literally just came to terms with his trauma with Eclipse! Something Eclipse never thought he would, heck if anything was more proud of Lunar lashing out. Our beautiful emotionally constipated man.) AND YEAH ECLIPSE BRINGING BACK SOLAR!!! It really was reverse reverse psychology. Puppet went 'go bring that back please.' 'NO... MAYBE... IM THINKING' As he's watching everyone around him just... react the way they are. He's literally not getting thru to any of them by antagonizing. Reluctant twins.. dfbvkjdf We love to see it. (Now wheres killcode) I do like that Eclipse just went 'This aint about her'. It speaks a bit of volumes. But ALSO i havent watched that episode of Earth grieving and Eclipse so i feel like i missed something there. BUT YEAH!!!! Ruin thinking she needed to be cruel... no bby... THIS EARTH is a sweetie and i love her. Also i think Ruin couldve either meant 'are you changing' or 'are you bringing back solar' in context. But i could be wrong with that. Anyway- love eclipses inquiry about Bloodmoon as well. Bloodmoon is interesting cause they dont question their existence too much just 'We still wanna kill thats UScore' vs Eclipse who HINGES on identity a bit here. (His previous self did too, I mean literally he WAS moon, mans got baggage for days. We love the struggle.) So its interesting cause this iteration of Eclipse, while not the original, is still acting like Eclipse (solars code or not). He's in no position of power, Everyones either DONE with him or like Lunar, finally moved past that. No ones threatened nor entertaining his monologues anymore. Sun was so FED UP. Eclipse's motivation on bringing back Solar?? Either to say HE ECLIPSE THEIR MOST HATED DUDE, brought him back. or like... Ive seen the theories of switching them out. Either way he's a bit motivated by the fact he hates everyone and hates what solar had. No one would mourn eclipse.

[tadpolesonalgae]

“You made more than a mistake, Az. Now we’re all hurting because you—”

i am so glad it's finally been said out loud. And that it was Mor who said it because immediately I understood how she was feeling about the entire situation, which made me feel better about her being an asshat at the end of the last chapter. It's strangely therapeutic. As soon as Mor tells Az to shut up though, I couldn't help but start crying a little bit because you really perfected how I thought Mor would've perceived reader going to Eris-

“She could have come to any of us. It’s more than we ever had, and yet she ignored it. Then tries to pretend it away? I’m not immune to that. If she can’t even be bothered to care about my pain why should I give a damn about hers?”

-this line in particular ruined me (not to be too personal n emotional lol), as someone who grew up in a not so great home i can really empathize with Mor here. It's not healthy behavior but I can say that there have been times where I've resented the people in my life who didn't accept help after i had been desperate for it for years. I'm more emotionally aware now and have unpacked those resentments (THANK GOD), but it was such a visceral response to reading that line because it mirrored unhealed me.

The next scene with madja was the perfect balance to mor and azriel's...argument? discussion? idk. You really guide us well through the world which is something I really admire in your writing, it flows very naturally and it always feels like a very natural progression of events. (its just something i've noticed i struggle with in my own wips lol).

compliments aside, it was also really sweet to see reader's peace in this chapter. Madja herself being a very peaceful motherly figure for reader who we know desperately needs that kind of care right now, her sisters are doing great right now but she needs someone who's not family to prove that they do care about her and it will not change over a few mistakes. Which is something that Cassian embodies very well later in the chapter too.

Bas.... sweet guy :( i hope reader gives him the truth. Imo, i think he deserves at least a bit of the truth when she is in a better place to give it (she fr could've said she was at a friend's in autumn. bas doesn't need to know WHO). But Bas held up his own boundaries very well with reader as well and I'm glad that we got a little of his feelings on the situation as well as reader acknowledging she hasn't been a great friend recently. (it's valid tho she's been goin THROUGH IT)

Tabbatha... you keep saying you don't know how to portray cassian but i personally think you do him such a great service ESPECIALLY after some instances of cass's behavior towards nesta's struggles in her own healing journey. I really feel like he actually cares about reader herself compared to rhys who cared about feyre and her only. He makes an effort to get her to relax, which is something acomaf cass would've done and is the version of him i miss the most. And him calling reader out for keeping things to herself? I personally think she needs to be called out and take accountability for her own role in the healing process. He was the perfect person to push her in this scene.

The dinner scene also really resonated with me and my own childhood. As a kid growing up we NEVER ate dinner together, so reader's apprehension to going to dinner is so real, and Mor sitting across from her?

oh myyyy goodness, ik this chapter just came out but im already rereading hehehe im so excited for the next one

-🤠

If I’m honest with you, I wanted Mor to tear into Az a little more than she did? For her to fairly obviously and kind of viciously defend reader but I felt it would be weird for her to go that far, considering Mor is supposed to be feeling very betrayed and hurt by reader? I did have fun with writing Mor telling Az to shut up though 🫣 I even nearly italicised it 🫢😳

‘The next scene with madja was the perfect balance to mor and azriel's...argument? discussion?’

Oh I really liked writing the Madja scene!! I mean, kind of scary obviously, but I enjoy her character and it’s so nice getting to write someone being kind to reader? 😭 Particularly since a fair amount of scenes in cbmthy aren’t particularly lighthearted/high-spirited? I’m hoping to continue dropping scenes with Madja in here and there since it would be weird if reader’s checkups suddenly stopped out of nowhere? Also so she has someone to keep an eye on her who might know a little more about what’s going on with her physically and mentally from experience and studying other people/medicine?

‘(its just something i've noticed i struggle with in my own wips lol).’

This might be totally unsolicited/unhelpful, but usually for me if a scene isn’t working or I’m struggling to write it, I’ll either change the perspective or switch to something else entirely? Like the scene just after reader’s entered the kitchen with Cassian I was struggling with, which is why there’s that snippet from Rhys’ pov to section them up? I don’t know if that’ll work for other people, but it’s something I fall back on quite regularly so it might help you too? 🫂🧡💛

‘but she needs someone who's not family to prove that they do care about her and it will not change over a few mistakes. Which is something that Cassian embodies very well later in the chapter too.’

I’m so glad you feel Cassian read that way!! 😭 I’m kind of of the mind that Nesta’s still protective over her sisters and so that might occasionally stretch across to Cassian at times? Also I just feel like Cassian genuinely cares about people in a more (this might sound strange) innocent way? Like more carefully and tenderly?

I would have loved to write Cassian and reader as being good friends but because Cassian’s friends with Feyre I think reader would still always feel in second place and unfortunately it might hinder her more than help 😭

‘Tabbatha... you keep saying you don't know how to portray cassian but i personally think you do him such a great service’

I’m literally refusing to respond to this because I’m so embarrassed and flustered from the compliment 😶‍🌫️

‘As a kid growing up we NEVER ate dinner together, so reader's apprehension to going to dinner is so real, and Mor sitting across from her?’

Yes! And especially after she’s done something that so obviously puts her in a vulnerable position too? Now they all know that she was in a place like that I can’t imagine reader will feel particularly comfortable over dinner 😭

As for Mor, I think I’m actually going to be writing this scene tonight, so I’ll be interested to see what happens? (Because honestly I don’t 100% know how it’s going to go either 😭🫣)

‘oh myyyy goodness, ik this chapter just came out but im already rereading hehehe im so excited for the next one’

Babes oh my gosh I was struggling to start chapter 18 so did a change 🫢🫣

I had so much fun writing the opening scene to the next part and I’ll be so excited to hear some thoughts on it—if you or anyone has any thoughts on it, of course 🧡💛

[quodekash]

this is my seventh post about two episodes. this is why it takes me so long to watch things.

anyway, continuing now

HIS LITTLE PONYTAIL SDHFSDHSH

wait omg

these are the clothes theyre wearing when they eat each others fingers in the trailer

theyre about to eat each others fingers

hell yes

please, please do

i will get down on hands and knees and beg if i have to

HSHDHSHSFDHS

OH HOW THE TURN TABLES, INNIT?

HELL TO THE FREAKING YES

AND THE SONG PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND???? BRO THE NOSTALGIA IM GETTING

im definitely rewatching bad buddy soon. ill bet that ill start rewatching it within the week

of course

you know, i think the one time they werent interrupted by pa (or korn, or some other person) was on the freaking rooftop

CHEEK KISS

CHEEK KISS

THE PARALLELSSSSSSSS

i could talk all day about parallels

holy hell

we're finally here

the end of our skyy 2

i am not even slightly emotionally prepared for this

ITS 9PM AND THEYRE ONLY JUST HAVING DINNER???

well, he did say on call with his mum that the play only just ended

but jeez i was not expecting it to be that late

yes. yes. YES.

BIRTHDAY SURPRISE, LETS GOOOOO

oh. it's not phu?

but it was timed so well??

phu has to be there

i love him so much

i missed him a lot

my dear precious...

uh

tUL TUL, I LOVE TUL AND I DEFINITELY DIDNT HAVE TO LOOK UP HIS NAME BECAUSE I FORGOT WHAT HIS NAME WAS

he wishes for his boyfriend to be there :(

and phu emerges from the cake

bro that one candle was having issues

it took four blows to get it out, and that fourth one was very extended

i think mix was trying really hard to not get spit all over the cake and to not ruin the shot, but internally he was like "F[beep] YOU, YOU STUPID F[beep]ING CANDLE, DIE, DIE, DIE, OH MY GOD JUST BLOW OUT ALREADY, HOLY SH[beep], I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU SO MUCH, OH MY GOD IM GOING TO K-"

that's how i think it would go if we could see into mix's mind when he was trying to blow out that fREAKING CANDLE

okay, so, is he hallucinating, or is phu actually there

maybe the candle was stalling for time cos tul and phu werent moving fast enough and they were like to the candles "QUICK, WE NEED A DISTRACTION SO THAT HE DOESNT NOTICE", and that one was like "i got this bro 🤝" and did the performance of its lifetime

oh wow im really freaking tired

i have fifteen minutes left. ill tackle them tomorrow.

its gonna take me three days to finish two episodes of a show, where each episode is only about an hour long, and if thats not the most in-character thing for me, idk what is

anyway, see you tomorrow for the end of the years, many many tears, goodbyes, and hopefully no flies (idk what that last bit was, i just wanted to make it rhyme)

[petewentzisblack1312]

i'm sorry about what you're going through 💔 it's hard but i believe you can stay strong and get through it 🫂

i am having such a hard time. sorry to just kind of use this as an excuse to dump all this junk but

my grandfather passed away suddenly last week, and the last time i met him in person i was a baby in arms so i never really met him in person, id only really talked to him over the phone except for one very shitty skype call like a decade ago. so i didnt really know what he looked like until hours after he was pronounced dead. and i have a lot of complicated feelings and resentment and shame about that related to bigger complexes and trauma i have. and ive been really really looking forward to the funeral because itll be the first and only time i see him in person, and its an opportunity to see all my mothers family, because i havent met a lot of them in person, but theyre so much more loving than my fathers side of the family who are very vindictive and cruel. and my mother cant get her tax return back in time to pay for my ticket and i have like, no money. definitely not enough for a flight to jamaica. (people do not get their tax returns back here its ridiculous and extremely depressing so shes owed a lot from like a 6 year period 6 years ago). so now im depending on my financially and emotionally abusive dad for yet another thing that matters deeply to me that he can use to ruin my life for some vindictive reason. and i dont trust that he wouldnt refuse just to hurt me, and even if he does pay for it i know hes gonna hold it against me. i dont really care that much if he does because i already missed out on seeing my grandfather, i dont want to miss anyone else. but i really worry that hes going to say no, or pretend to say no to stress us out or something. im just really not in a good way right now i wont lie.

[bunniexmae]

ex wrote and published a diss about me and i idk i just can’t imagine emotionally destroying the person you say you love- your partner begging you to change for years and you just decide you simply don’t want to change but still try to convince that person to stay bc you believe you’re meant to be together somehow.. just to say in a song i don’t want to hear your name, i don’t want to be around you. said i was missing you but i wasn’t missing nothing.. he says he’s better off without me.. if this is how he really feels about me then why convince me to try things again for more than a year

it truly feels like i wasted the last year of my life trying to give him a genuine third chance, trying to talk through things and be vulnerable and open to romance with him again. idk i wasted so much time dreaming and fantasizing spending the rest of my life with him. but this man when given the chance never fails to rip my heart and hope to shreds. no one has ever consistently ruined my mental health so deeply like this. it feels so devastating, i don’t even feel like i know him at all which is horrifying because i still love him.. but if he really feels this way i just hope he can be happier since im finally gone from his life

i don’t know why i’m writing this, i’m just having a panic attack that i can’t tell anyone irl about.. i just hope some of my feelings can fade soon so i can start moving on. i can’t keep doing this

[domjaehyun]

hello! this is rainonthebathroomfloor, and i wanted to share all of my notes with you!! many of them aren’t enlightened lol as i was just recording my reactions in the moment 🤍🤍

“i know what i want” this man would get me into trouble and ruin friendships holy shit i’m a weak bitch

the conversation about drugs is doing things to my heart. i love the soft vulnerability of it and the scene overall — walking outside, late at night, new to knowing one another

not him bringing up visiting his mom ohmygod i love this ahhhhh

oc asking the deli cooks if haechan is handsome. oh this shit is GOLEN i’m giggling and kicking my feet “how many of you are back there” lmao

“do that again” after oc stuck her tongue out… i want him so bad

“it’s about the reward” im too weak for this shit. wtf op your TALENT

He ignores you. “I think it’s that I want to know what it feels like to truly live.” he finishes, and you pause at that, genuinely taking in his words. “Life is too short to be scared to indulge, you know?” ~i want what he’s having lol

oh this boy is crazy. and a walking red flag that i want to lick… like a cherry lollipop

tickling oc’s hand is CRAZY

heaching SEEing oc took my breath away

He looks at you like he’s dangerously close to seeing you; you, past your barriers and caution tape; you, with all your intricacies and contradictions; and you, with all the hope and yearning and vulnerability you’ve had since your youth that you’ve been trying to convince everyone is no longer around. ~everything about these words

haechan talking about twin flames and mirror souls… and your inclusion of the lyrics. i haven’t listened to ariana’s new album that much, and i definitely missed these lyrics, but they gave me chills worked into this scene so perfectly. you created magic

i’m loving the layers to haechan. there’s all this confidence and charm and interactions that made me feel like ‘god he’s just another man being a flirt despite having a girlfriend’ but then there are moments when complete clarity is felt and their connection is just so obvious. his comfort with oc is so obvious along with the way she’s stimulating him mentally/emotionally/physically. like i get his actions with all that in mind (is that crazy to say?), and it all makes me want insight into his rs with winter. how it got started. what it gives him. what it’s missing. well, we get a picture painted of what’s missing. i’m writing this after reading part 2, and i can’t pretend i don’t want a man who’s this obsessed with me. i know that’s partially bc i do not doubt that i’ll be obsessed right back. i also have to take a moment to say how fine and sexy haechan is. i nearly collapsed beneath the weight of his energy in your fic 😩

also, i had such a fun time listening to the playlist while reading. i also ended up with justine skye’s collide playing on repeat and that made part 2 feel even more intense. music is such a source of inspiration for my own writing, and i love that it’s something you weave into your stories. it’s also a joyous and fascinating experience to see and read the art music inspires and creates. it’s like a constant pool of rebirth and i’m obsessed with that

i can’t wait for the next part!! thank you for being here and sharing incredible work with all of us 🤍 you’re a talented gem

HIIIII BELOVED I AM HERE TO ANSWER

first of all. im snorting this next. SECONDLY: here we go the rest is under a cut bc my reply got long

no your thoughts are wonderful please they mean so much to me!!!!!!! okay im gonna try and go in order so brace yourself

HE REALLY WOULD and he’d do it all in the name of love 🫶

i loooooooove getting to know you scenes but like . not conventional stuff yknow? like realistic, deeper conversations so im happy you liked that scene too!!!!!

YEAH I HAD TO HE’S A LIL MAMA’S BOY

I GIGGLED WHEN I WROTE THAT LINE i love like inserting little bits of comedy when i can :D it was also inspired by when i was at the deli and the guy at the counter told the deli cook my order then like one other guy came out and i walked by there to get a drink and . there were like 2 more guys back there and i was like this is a small ass space how many of u are there

HEHEHEHEHEHE ME TOO he’s a shameless little flirt and we love to see it

THANK YOOOOOOU i think this fic was a learning moment for me like . some risks are worth the reward and you can’t live your life scared of “what if” yknow?

I TOO WANT WHAT HE’S HAVING im microdosing on it rn but i want like. a fuckton of what he’s on

he /is/ crazy . i also want to lick him …..who said that

teehee i thought that was cute i like that you noticed :D and i’m glad it resonated with you

I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE THAT SCENE THE SCENE IN THE CAFE BC . okay tmi time but i like this guy at work. and he STARES at me sometimes like just gazes into my eyes and it’s terrifying and electrifying at the same time and i wanted to try and capture that feeling in words so your feedback makes me feel like i did a good job!!

THANK YOU HEHEHEHEHEHE i like that line too i think i want someone to look at me like that fr like . just See Me and be like . i wanna know more. (again my crush does this but there is room for doubt there. i want an unequivocally probing and fond gaze like they see me and they like what they see, no ifs ands or buts about it)

THANK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU ugh i love the museum cafe scene it was very revealing to me abt like . their characters and stuff and that lyric quote just fit so perfectly????? i had to include it

i fully get you tbh like i started out writing the fic with no real idea of the relationship btwn him and winter and as i was writing i was like. okay but what does she fulfill for him that he’s not getting from winter like why did he switch lanes with such ease what did he SEE what did he FEEL which can be hard to capture from ….well, Not His Point Of View so i just . did my best bc MC def has the same questions so some of these get answered !!!!!!!! in some scenes it’s more in details than being said explicitly but tbh you’re such a close reader that i feel like you’ll get it when those scenes come up!!

additionally: i also want a man who’s this obsessed with me it is a dream of mine :’) i agree haechan is deeply fine and sexy i love writing him like this just like. a lovesick man

OOH i should listen to that song i def know it bc i can recall the melody and some lyrics but i really wanna . sit with the song if you think it was fitting bc i love having like a soundtrack to my fics!!!

UGH THANK YOU YOU GET IT I LOVE TO WRITE WITH MUSIC AS INSPO it just feels so right. art inspires more art!!!!!! it is most definitely a cycle of rebirth and it’s one that i personally can’t get enough of :D

THANK YOU SO MUCH GENUINELY i hope you enjoy the next part too :D this was like . actually so affirming to read it was like . i feel More Understood a bit after this message and that’s a wonderful feeling so thank you for giving that to me :’)

THANK YOU AGAIN SO SO SO MUCH i can’t put enough sos bc ………. i am truly that grateful :’) you are so welcome and people like you make it so incredibly worth it!!!!! thank you again and have a BEAUTIFUL day 💖

[detectivehole]

so, let's say I've had a crush on this person for years now, and we've always flirted but without any real purpose. This went on for a while, and neither of us seemed interested in anything romantic. I mean, mine was just a crush, and he would always joke about wanting to kiss me and say things that I wouldn't call platonic. Then, let's say I disappeared for a whole year, and when I came back, our relationship wasn't as close as it used to be. I tried to fix things, but I think he doesn't feel the same way he did back then. We continued to flirt, and that confused me, but I felt something had changed. We kind of ghosted each other, and since we're both stubborn, we didn't really try to stay in touch

another year passed, and we pretended like nothing had happened. But then I found out he was in a relationship, so I stopped flirting with him, but I missed him and missed what we had. So I tried to treat him as a friend, but I had this feeling that he didn't even want that. Now he's single again, but I can't stop thinking about him. I've been with other people, but I can't move on. So I wanted to know your opinion on this. We're still friends, but I still feel something for him. I've never known if he felt the same, and I've never had the guts to have that conversation because I don't want to ruin everything

do you think the only way to move on is to confess everything and take the risk, or should I let time take its course?

from my "random on the internet" opinion, a calm and not-dramatic (KEY HERE) confession is unlikely to make things worse, though if you get the impression he "didn't even want [friendship]" anymore it is unlikely to make anything better either

if i were you, I would try and make peace with it and move on- no reason to drag this out, and it seems as if its been dragged out a bit, any longer for either of us; however my own personality is pretty emotionally... apathetic, when it comes to perusal. im not a "practitioner" or going after anyone, romantically speaking. so i have that bias

[mochiwrites]

you were right, these songs do destroy you emotionally your inclusion of Passerine and Little Lion Man tore my heart actually, then I scrolled down and saw Sick of Losing Soulmates and made a loud shattering sound effect complete with the imaginary gif of my irl self shattering like glass

very immersive! I'm going to cry. Which means it's a great playlist! the songs are bangers and I can see the connection to the au very clearly

(also music rec since it MIGHT fit, Two by Sleeping At Last)

-🎵

YEAH YEAH YEAH

the song on the playlist that’s specifically ruining me is “already mine” by us the duo because o u g h. these lyrics???

it’s so???

it's like,,, like,,,, 3l!grian looking at ll!scar and seeing an echo, a ghost of his scar and reaching for him despite scar being right with him but it's not the same because ll!scar isn't his scar. ll!scar doesn't remember the cold nights at the desert, the rush of adrenaline as they ran away from ren and martyn, the grief he felt for pizza when he was killed, he doesn''t remember all of the sweet words they whispered to one another in their tower, he doesn't remember getting into that cactus ring and letting grian kill him. but he's... he's right there. except not quite.

there’s something about 3l!grian looking at ll!scar and loving him because he’s scar but he’s not his scar and they’re so different yet so similar and ????

grian has him but he also doesn’t. he’s so close but also so far away. he misses him but he doesn’t. LIKE IM????

last life au making me go insane this monday morning