#I REALLY REALLY WISH A MF WOULD AND ALSO WISH THAT MF WELL

[ohn-jay]

Sorry about the anon hate re:Blaze, I just wanted to say that I really admired your positivity, we should definitely call out this kind of behaviour. I reported some folks in the notes. Anyway, I hope you're having a great day! Keep doing you!

THANK YOU SO MUCH! This is what #truesolidarity looks like! Thank you for looking out for me. I couldn't say the same for my family or my wife and her family. Or my employer. Or my therapist. Or my landlord. I always count on good friends though (:

[ju1cyfru1t]

Hello. I read a few of your scenarios for the Rise boys and really liked them. So, I decided to sent in my wok request.

Could you do something for the four brothers (separately) where they react to their s/o calling them their husband. Like s/o is on the phone and reverse to the turtle as their husband. Like not directly to them but they still hear it.

If I didn’t describe it well enough you could look up ‚calling my bf husband to see his reaction‘ on TikTok they’re really cute and funny.

And the gender of the reader is up to you, I don’t really care.

your wish is my command 🧞‍♀️ AND THANK YOU <3

ROTTMNT x Fem! Reader

reader accidentally calls him her husband

Rise! Leo, Mikey, Raph, Donnie x Fem! Reader (separately)

fluff! :D fem!reader, romantic

It’s Pizza night at the lair! :D….like almost every other night.

You offered to call in to order the pizza for them. How kind. To be honest, he wasn’t really listening until you said something that really caught his attention.

“Yes, thank you. and my husband would like-“

Leo

- internally screaming but tries to play it cool

- if there’s anyone who’s gonna make you regret even opening your mouth it’s this mf

- cocky bitch, but is polite enough (I guess) to wait until you’re off the phone to say anything

- OBVIOUSLY now he’s gonna call you wifey

- “HUSBAND? I mean, Husband, huh? I knew you liked me, but not THAT much~” STFU

- def laid awake that night thinking about it tho

- is never going to let you forget this

- “please, allow your husband.”

Mikey

- externally screaming

- you got him running laps 🏃‍♀️

- considered getting down on one knee right there 💍

- Immediately is all over you; peppering your face with kisses, his arms wrapped around you

- he is squeezing the life out of you he was so happy to hear you say that

- you cannot tell me he isn’t 100% convinced you’ll be together for the rest of your lives anyways

- but to hear you say it like that??? he just finds you so precious

- “ y/n you’re so cute!” “Michael hold on! I’m still on the phone-“

Raph

- took him a minute to process

- wait him??? your HUSBAND???

- I mean…he didn’t mind that sound of that.

- man is already thinking of his vows 👰‍♂️ JK

- is surprised for a moment, but just lets himself be happy. he is a bit embarrassed tho

- daydreams your wedding now

- might accidentally call you his wife now too 🧍‍♀️

- “guys, remember my wife said in- I MEAN, Y/N. Y/N SAID- I MEANT Y/N-“

- Leo is rolling on the floor laughing, Donnie is slightly horrified

- Mikey is your flower girl

Donnie

- almost snaps his neck to whip around and look at you

- Flabbergasted and also a little afraid

- Honestly hoping he heard you wrong; That’s a big commitment

- Don’t get me wrong; it’s not that he isn’t committed he just doesn’t know how to feel about MARRIAGE

- probably had to excuse himself for a moment to really process (might have went to his lab to scream)

- would try to go on normally like it never happened, but it’s definitely burned into the back of his mind for a long time after that

[belphieslavenderscentedpillow]

Obey me brothers finding out that YOU have decided to match clothes with MAMMON

My first headcannon! So excited 😆 hope you enjoy!

Lucifer

Wait you‘ve decided to match clothes with Mammon?

How peculiar… well it definitely is an interesting fashion choice..

Does he like it? Oh it‘s fine.

No it’s not.

Why did you choose to match clothes with him?! I mean he’s a perfectly fine partner to match with!

Will try to show you how pissed he is but would rather die than actually tell you that he’s upset

He‘ll be more upset at Mammon too

He‘ll lash out on him more often

Would probably do it less if Mammon would stop gloating

He‘ll try to interfere subtly, like pointing out flaws in the outfit even though his fit isn’t really fashionable either

Oh you picked it out?

Well then the outfit is amazing!

Don’t you dare roll your eyes at him MC.

Since that doesn’t work he just strings Mammon on the ceiling

After that’s done he‘ll try to subtly hint that he wants to match outfits with you too..

Mammon

You wanna match outfits with him? Really?

This man is over the god damn moon

He would literally wear a frilly pink dress to school if it meant that he could match with you

Will show you his entire closet of outfits to let you pick out something

Would also clean his room if you asked him too

When you guys match he will literally be smug about it for the whole week

Like; my human matched with me, what about your suck ass love life

Will NOT shut up about it and will talk to literally anyone about how much you like him and how awesome he is and about how cute you are

When he senses his brothers envy he literally smirks with a face like; „you wish that was you huh“

He rubs it in so bad

But he is genuinely so happy that you wanted to match with him

Like even though Lucifer strung him upside down he was still smiling like a lovesick fool

when you walked in RAD together with your cute matching outfits he literally shined with confidence

His smile never left his face for the whole day

He even asked someone to take a picture of you two so he could always remember today

He has the picture as a print framed in his room and as his lockscreen

This outfit is his new all time favourite now and he wears it whenever he needs a confidence boost

Would 100% want to do matching outfits again

Leviathan

You matched outfits with Mammon?!?

That is literally so unfair

When you guys walked down together he literally whined

he knows you wouldn’t match with him, but Mammon?!?

Mammon‘s not even that fashionable!

Will literally say everything wrong with the outfit even pointing out irrelevant details

„The sowing is uneven and the button should be slightly more to the left oh and-!“

Wha- you picked it out! Oh shit

He didn’t mean it like that! Honest🤨

Will sulk

Everywhere.

Maybe if you feel enough pity you‘ll wear something else!

And maybe you might match with him..!?

Oh it’s hopeless, he‘ll just sit in his bathtub watching romance animes wondering why you didn’t pick him

More importantly why you chose MAMMON over him

Please match with this poor boy I don’t think he can take it

Satan

Huh..?

HUH?!

Why did you match with him?!?

What do you mean because you wanted to?!?

Unlike other people *cough cough* he doesn’t criticise your outfits

Instead he compliments it, being all sly like:

„Wow you have a great sense of fashion. Maybe you could style me next time?“

Will literally turn this little ‚inconvenience‘ into a way to get you to match with HIM

And you being all sweet will be like; sure Satan!

He‘s one sly mf I‘ll give him that..

Asmodeus

You should’ve matched with him sweetie

I mean he‘s wayyy more fashion forward than Mammon! Besides he won’t force you to match with him 🤨

Besides that outfit is atrocious!

What do you mean you chose the fit?!

What do you mean you WILLINGLY wanted to match with Mammon?!?!

Panics

He only meant it if it was Mammons selection!

Wait don’t be upset!

Is genuinely confused as to why you matched with Mammon

Tries to prove to you that he’s worthy of matching with you

When that doesn’t work he‘ll try to make you jealous

Yes MC look at me! I‘m matching with this random demon, don’t you wanna match with me now?!?!

What d‘you mean ,good‘ for me?!?

You‘re supposed to be jealous damnit!😩

Beelzebub

Isn‘t actually that disturbed by you matching with Mammon because he thinks it’s an accident

Typical sweet Beel

He just doesn’t understand the hype around two people wearing the same outfit on the same day

Then Asmo told him you guys matched purposefully

So you wanted to look like Mammon?

Why you look beautiful on your own?

He still doesn’t get it

Oh well

Maybe it’s better this way

You don’t need more people to hate on your outfit choice for no reason anyway

Belphegor

Absolutely despises it

And is very open about it too

“MC why did you match with Mammon, you could do so much better like matching with me”

Will try to convince you to change

Please MC!

You can’t cuddle with that outfit on..

When you don’t comply he sulks

Him and Levi= sulking buddies

Unlike Levi, will try to find a way to get Mammons or your outfit wet aka ruined so you have to change

When you get upset at his antics he will apologise and tell you how he wants to match with you as well

You feel bad and agree

He grins a happy smile

That doesn’t mean he won’t not be upset about you matching with Mammon till you match with him

All credits go to @belphieslavenderscentedpillow

[walpu]

Hi, it’s me again!! >_<

When I tell you I gobbled that headcannon post up, I went down on two knees and howled /hj

Anyways, do you think you can do some headcannons on Aventurine with Bodyguard! Reader if you have the time? But this time, with a twist :3

See, reader does care for Aven, you truly do, but before that, you were tasked by Everflame mansion and by Duke inferno himself to kill Aventurine. But you can’t bring yourself to, no, not when you’ve fallen head over heels for him.

When reader does become Aven’s bodyguard, you maintain that serious, no nonsense demeanor, but if he looks closely enough, he’ll see the lovestruck puppy hiding under the hardened shell that they’ve put on.

But the guilt catches up. One day, at least a few months after reader’s betrayal to Duke Inferno, you catch sight of an assassin sent to finish the job they couldn’t do. And so, the secret is finally revealed.

Personally, I think Aventurine would be betrayed, like very, how could he not be? He’s always kept people at an arm’s length away, and when he finally lets you in his walls, and starts falling for thier charm, this secret of yours comes out. He fires you almost immediately, but the way he stares after you with misty eyes doesn’t go unnoticed.

The next months were absolute hell. Reader found a new job as a barista, and is quite enjoying the quaint and simply life it provides, even if you do miss Aventuirne. He’s probably still seething at you, right?.

Wrong. Because you’ve gone MIA, Aventurine been scouring all over the place, trying so hard to find you. He’s loosing sleep, forgetting to eat, all things that you would chide him about. Aeons, he misses you so much.

And when he does find you, he’s overjoyed, and when the two finally reunite, the first thing you do is to apologize deceiving him. But he forgave your silly ass a long time ago, why else would he have spent the last months trying to find you?

Long story short, it’s a happy ending, Aventurine couldn’t be more grateful he has you to be his bodyguard, his closest confidant, and most importantly, his lover <33

I’m so sorry if I went on a ramble, but this idea’s been plaguing me so bad I literally can’t focus on anything else 😭😭

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWAR TO WRITIG FOR THIS REQUEST SINCE THE MOMENT I SAW IT I ADORE YOUR BODYGUARD!READER x AVEN SERIES btw thank you for sharing the c.ai bot

I feel like the only thing I do with each post is apologize for taking so long but right now I like from work trip to work trip so I'm actually really really sorry this madness should end soon 😭😭😭😭 Hope you'll enjoy this post, it was my goal to finish it before version 2.1

bodyguard/assassin!reader x Aventurine

characters - Aventurine notes- gn!reader, angst, hurt/comfort, pining, no beta

It was not a fast prosses for the both of to form a genuine connection. Moreover, you know goddamn well you shouldn't get attached to him.

And at first it seems easy, like yeah another rich playboy, no big deal, you've delt with people like him before, right? Right??????????????

Yeah until suddenly he's not just a rich playboy.

The more you notice how deeply lonely and unhappy he is, the more your heart softens towards him. And the more your heart softens, the more he relaxes around you, seeing behind your cold exterior.

He's not used to people caring about him. And yes, of course he knows it's your job but still, for a man who never had a real friend before, he surely can appreciate having someone who not only won't leave him but also will listen to him and look after him.

And the part about you being paid to do it? Oh well. It's the same guy who offers you to use him as you wish and who's greeting line is "I can play a role of a friend :)"

Mf is FRIENDLESS, LONELY and PATHETIC /affectionally

He'll take what he can get okay.

But goddamn. Don't think he doesn't notice how you started going out of your ways to take care of him. How you make him eat, tend to his small injuries ("my, my, you're my bodyguard, not a doctor. perhaps someone wants a raise, hm?~"), how you drag him out of casino or his office when it's too late.

It drives him crazy. It's not beneficial for you, right? The w h y.

He won't ask. Instead he will watch and slowly fold.

You are probably suffering tho lol. You should just kill him already, you've had so many opportunities to end him. Instead you spoon feed him soup because he claims he has a hangover after a night in the casino. And this little brat looks so smug about it too!!!!

Sometimes he feels like it's too good to be true: you being here, taking care of him, looking after him. The line between professional relationship, friendship and... something more is way too blurry already, and he knows it's dangerous but it just feels so good. Too good.

Duke inferno gets tired eventually. He sends someone to remind you of your mission. To remind you who you really work for.

Well, the duke receives a warning of his own. The dead body of his little messenger.

You know, of course, that the Everflame mansion thugs are not easily intimidated. They will be back. So you better warn Aventurine and tell him everything.

You can't keep lying to him, can you?

Well. It's surprisingly not as easy as you thought. After all, even if they will send someone, you'll just protect Aven like you always do, right? He doesn't have to know. Not about your past, not about your original mission. He keeps his secrets too, so why can't you?

You know goddamn well why tho. You know and yet you still can't bring yourself to tell him the truth.

It goes on like that for several months and Aventurine notices that something is clearly off, something is bothering his darling protector. He tries to pry, to tease, to cling, to pester you. Something to make you open up. Or, at least, get distracted. He can't help but feel anxious. Why are you suddenly so reversed? Do you want to leave his side? Does he not pay you enough? Does he bother you too much? It eats him alive while he tries to mask it by pestering you even more. As if to test you. As if to make sure that it's not the case.

All the hell breaks loose one day when you discover that Duke inferno has sent another assassin to finish the job.

I you spare the details but yeah, your secret was unraveled. And it wasn't pretty at all.

You have never seen emotions so vivid on Aven's face. Part of you always wanted to see him more vulnerable, more open with you. But not like this. Not this look of utter betrayal.

He collects himself quick enough, hiding behind the mask of mock disappointment.

"Hm, well, I recall mentioning that treachery is just another tool of the trade. But it seems like our little deal is not paying off for me anymore" he says with a cold chuckle, shaking his head a little. "After all, you have very little to offer outside of your dog-like loyalty. But seems like this dog bit both hands that fed it".

You were expecting him to call for your arrest but instead he just fires you. It hurts nevertheless.

What hurts even more is that look he gives you when you part ways. It's like his pretty eyes are even more lifeless now.

At first he feels this overwhelming emptiness. It truly feels like the fate is mocking him. One time, just one time, he allowed himself to relax around someone. Just this one time, with this one person who took care of him, who listened to him, who looked out for him. And this person was supposed to kill him.

Then his stupid brain finds another way to torture him. He keeps thinking about the way you have always protected him, the way you took the hit even during the last attack, when Duke Inferno's new assassin tried to get to him. You were ready to leave your past life behind to stay by his side, weren't you?

As soon as he realizes it he goes frantic. Of course he tries to find you asap but of course someone as competent as you would be able to disappear without a trace in no time. You were an assassin, after all. A skilled one too, since he never even suspected you.

This connection the two of you had, this realization that you really cared enough to betray your client, all of this makes him realize that he needs you so, so much. He needs to feel this care again, he need to look at you again, to know that you're here by his side.

He misses you so much. Your nagging, your reassurance, your touch. He's like an addict who felt what it feels like to love and beloved in return for the first time and now he can't live without it.

He doesn't eat or sleep properly, his head plagued by the thoughts about you. What if you forgot all about him? What if you're wounded? Where are you even? His fingers itch to trace your face and your scars.

He thinks about how you would scold him for not taking proper care of himself and it makes him miss you even more.

Aven finds you after a few months. It was honestly a coincidence, one of his subordinates saw you in the coffee shop you were working at.

He though that finding you will calm him down but seeing you from afar, looking somewhat peaceful and cozy, having a regular job... it's too much. And what if you really don't need him anymore? Maybe you never did? After all, he's painfully aware that he probably needs you much more than you need him.

And yet, he decides to take this risk. He's a gambler, after all.

"Somehow I'm not surprised you're good even at that. How come you have never made me coffee before, hm?"

You literally freeze on the spot after hearing this familiar voice next to you.

When you finally get to talk, you can see he's really trying to look calm and collected but how can he? His hands are shaky and his voice cracks. It breaks your heart.

He doesn't even let you finish your apology, pressing a finger to your lips.

"Hush, darling. All is forgiven. In fact, I even have an interesting proposal. I'm can be a generous man after all".

He can't fool you. Not with this shaky soft voice. And he knows it as well.

Please hug that fool and kiss him. Swear that you won't ever leave him again. Swear that you want to be by his side. As his bodyguard, as his friend, as something more. So much more. That's all he really need to feel like he's at home.

[foern]

Obsessive

What kind of obsessive the TR boys are

Ft. Hanma, Mikey, Mitsuya, & Ran

Word Count: 600

A/N: Just had an idea from a real life situation that just happened to me. Not proof read (I will go back later and edit some). 

[ Hanma ] 

He’s the type of obsessive where he always needs to be touching you and with you/know where you are

He always needs to be touching you, but not in a sexual way

More like a possessive way

And mixed with his possessiveness, this mf is clingy af

His arm is either around your shoulders, on your thigh, or resting on your lower back

If you are laying down, this man is fully lying on top of you

Need to pee? Good luck cause he isn’t moving

Also, he needs to know where you are 24/7

Even if you are just running to the gas station for a snack, you better let him know

Part of the reason is because he knows you could be put in danger because of his life style

But in reality, he’s just obsessive

If you don’t tell him, expect your phone to blow up

Most of the time though, if you are going somewhere he’ll just tag along as well, just in case 

[ Mikey ] 

He’s the same type of obsessive as Hanma, just toned back a bit

This mf is clingy af, more so than Hanma but equally as annoying

It could be hand holding, locking pinkies, or simply laying on top of you, it just brings him comfort to have you close

He is with you 24/7 (other than Toman stuff or hanging out with Draken)

He can and will drop anything for you

He was about to go hang out with his friends? Oh sorry, my girlfriend just called, I got to go

Will 100% expect you to do the same for him though

When you two are hanging out, it is most likely in the comfort of one of your homes

On the rare occasion you aren’t, he is extremely jealous over everything

If a guy approaches you, or even looks at you, he is giving him death stares

He wouldn’t actually confront someone unless they are making you uncomfortable, but he sometimes wishes he would

After the person goes away, expect him to be 1000 times clingier than before if that is even possible 

[ Mitsuya ] 

Obsessive over your looks

If you dress yourself he will make you do an outfit check

But most of the time he is the one dressing you he just thinks you have bad style tbh

Not clingy like the rest on the list

But he will constantly be staring at you 

You could be doing the most mundane thing, and then look over and see this boy staring at you with heart eyes

Not in a creepy way though, just admiring what's his

He would also be the type to keep his hand on the small of your back or your thigh

[ Ran ] 

Obsessive over everything you do or say, and jealous

Another one where if a guy even so much as looked at you, he would get jealous

Needs you around him 24/7

He brings you everywhere with him, even if you don’t want to kidnapping

Also obsesses over your looks

Will stare at you

But unlike Mitsuya you can’t really tell if it’s a good stare or a bad stare

Would like to keep his hand on the small of your back like Mitsuya as well (just enough to show you your his)

[frogzzai]

Upper moon anon back lol, and this time let's go spicier~ (and add Muzan if you'd like, up to you!) Kissing, but downstairs 😉 (I loved the last post btw! 🥰)

Welcome back hun 🫶 Sorry it took me so long to get to this request, I kept forgetting :').

Time for spice ig 😍

Send in requests I have no motivation :'( (I write for MHA, Creepypasta, Slashers, Demon Slayer, JJK, Harry Potter, Rick and Morty, Fantastic Beasts, Winx)

Characters included: Kokushibo, Douma, Akaza, Hantengu, Sekido, Urogi, Karaku, Aizetsu, Gyokko, Gyutaro, Muzan

Warning: NSFW

Reader is AFAB but no pronouns mentioned.

Uppermoon 1- Kokushibo

Let's just be honest with ourselves, this man's a pussy eating GOD.

Not only did he used to have a wife, mf has 6 eyes. He definitely notices what your body reacts to more.

We all know he's pretty skilled, I'm not talking just about combat.

Could eat you out for AGES. He'll go to the point you have to try and drag him away by his hair while babbling incoherently.

It doesn't matter whether you're demon or human, your taste intoxicates him.

Overstimulation is 100% his specialty. Like I said earlier, he doesn't know when to stop. Do you really want him to stop though?

He'll use both his fingers and tongue, wants you to feel as best as possible.

Sit on his face. Please. He'd quite happily suffocate underneath you, if he could die like that he would.

Not a teaser, just wants as many orgasms out of you as possible.

Definitely the type to leave little lingering butterfly kisses all over your clit, he's a body worshipper.

Uppermoon 2- Douma

Loves to tease you.

Enjoys making you get off on his tongue by yourself, no guidance from him.

Occasionally he'll take the reins and overstimulate you till you can't remember your own name, only his.

He doesn't like giving you want you want (pleasure-wise), so he'll make you beg for it.

He doesn't care if his followers hear it, let them think what they want. He won't let them see though, no one else can see you like that. If anybody bothers you about it, well, they won't be around to bother you much longer.

Douma enjoys hearing you whine while edging you but also loves hearing you uncontrollably sob from overstimulation so he'd probably do a bit of both.

Will 100% leave bite marks on your thighs.

Will also playfully bite at your clit but not too hard, just enough to draw blood.

Uppermoon 3- Akaza

Similarly to Kokushibo, this man is a body worshipper.

Would stay in between your legs forever if you'd let him.

Please whimper his name and praise him, it'll make him happy.

Not a fan of teasing, wants to give you as much pleasure as (humanly?) possible.

This man cannot get enough.

Grips your thighs to make you stay in place... do with that what you will

Another fan of face sitting because it gives him better access.

Please suffocate him, unless you're hiding a nichirine sword up your pussy it won't kill him. Even if you somehow were I don't think he'd mind.

He'd definitely just show up out of no where and try to eat you out. It's almost like he teleports he's so quiet.

Will squeeze as many orgasms out of you as he possibly can.

Will incorporate his fingers somehow.

Hantengu

Wouldn't. Just wouldn't.

How'd you even get within 2 feet of him without him spontaneously combusting on the spot, let alone get in a relationship with him.

He is literally fear. I mean, it says it on his tongue...

He is going no where near there.

He can barely make eye contact with you!

He just can't.

Sekido

Aggressive pussy eater.

No mercy, literally won't let you go till you either squirt multiple times onto his tongue or you pass out from the overwhelming overstimulation.

I mean, sort of obvious isn't it?

Will sometimes add toys if he's feeling extra mean (that's pretty common).

I feel like the marking on his tongue (along with the other clones) would have a slightly different texture than the rest of it so it'd add to the whole experience if yk what I mean...

Bites. Take that however you wish.

Will hold your thighs apart so harshly you'll have bruises the size of his fingers appearing on you in the next hour.

Urogi

I feel like he can give out vibrations from his mouth. Just saying..

Will leave scratches down your thighs, I mean, look at his talons. Hands? Claws? Talons.

Surprisingly skilled with his tongue.

This man definitely loves hair pulling. Fight me.

Just grab a handful of his luscious locks and you've got him almost cumming in his pants.

He's vocal, he's moaning and grunting at the taste of you, 'course you can barely hear him over your own sounds though.

I feel like he'd trace patterns gently over your clit with his tongue if he felt like teasing you.

Will spell his own name if he does this.

He'll eat you out whilst in the air at least once, either that or he'll fly to high places to do it.

I guess you've technically joined the mile high club? I know he's not a plane but.. it sort of counts.

Karaku

He is literally pleasure.

There's no saying whether he has experience or not, but, does it really matter? He makes you go dumb on his tongue every time so are you going to complain either way? No.

Another one that's into hair pulling, he has long hair, why not put it to use?

Out of all the brothers he's the most skilled.

He doesn't have a favourite position or speed, he just takes note of what you seem to prefer at that giving time and goes by that.

He has his massive leaf thing on handy to throw people halfway across the city if they walk in.

Is in to face sitting.

He's one of those that likes to make you chase your own pleasure on his tongue but will take control halfway.

Uses toys. Do with that what you will.

Aizetsu

He prefers slow and sensual to fast and rough.

He gets sad if he feels like he went too rough, he feels like he's hurt you no matter how much you reassure him that it didn't hurt and you actually liked it. Overtime he'll grow more confident in being rough, just give him a chance.

He holds your thighs but gently, he's a thigh man.

He leaves soft little love bites up them.

Leaves fleeting kisses on your clit.

Subconsciously runs his hands from your waist down to your thigs and then up again while eating you out.

Don't mention it, he'll get embarrassed..

His brothers prefer tongue-fucking, he prefers softer clit sucking.

He quite likes fact sitting so you can't see him flushed red.

Gyokko

How?

He barely has a body, he's built like a genie if you ignore the face.

Back to the face... It would be difficult, it'd get in his eye, look at the placement. He doesn't even have eyelids.

I think he'd use his many little hands.

If he went into his final form then it might be easier but still, the eye placement.

I don't really see it working.

Gyutaro

No experience.

Obviously.

You'll have to teach him, but it's ok, we all know he's a quick learner.

He'll use his fingers with it because he's nervous his mouth isn't doing enough.

Trust me, it is.

Another biter, thighs, clit, anywhere he can get to.

Not into hair pulling that much, prefers it when you gentle stroke his hair.

Please praise him, he needs to know if he's doing ok.

Mutters sweet nothings into your clit, you're one of the most beautiful beings he has ever set eyes on, after Daki of course.

Muzan

He's somewhat of a gentleman. Occasionally.

Either slow and sensual like Aizestu or fast and rough like Sekido. No in-between.

Not into face sitting, it makes him feel vulnerable.

In his final form however, sit on his thigh whilst one of his mouths eats you out.

He's skilled. He's had past partners so he knows what he's doing.

You're the only one he does it with some sort of meaning behind it.

Very skilled with his hands to, just going to leave that there.

Female Muzan is better, but they're almost on par.

[bucknastysbabe]

hi cal! i love your page sm. i wanted to request more chubby bucky (i’m so obsessed & haven’t seen him in a min) also make sure to take care of yourself and have a good day/night 🩷

HI!!!! Sorry I’ve been such a spazz and awful about my page and askbox I’m in my new era blah blah but YES! CHUBBY BUCKY! Thanks for the well wishes I’m trying to practice ~self care~ and ~time management~ mwah mwah much love. So let’s say this just in the same universe as Poolside Blues!

Rating: Explicit

Tags: TW: body dysmorphia, obsessive thoughts, negative body talk, Muscle chub Buck, Bucky’s shit self esteem is saved by sunshine gf, holiday weight gain, Bucky being a stubborn mf, switch!Bucky, reader has empathic projection, horny texts, body worship, WE LOVE SOFT PARTS AND STRETCH MARKS ROUND HERE, teasing, sub space, daddy kink, pnv!sex, cuddles and fluff, Bucky is just a big cuddly tiger kitty

“Bucky if you stare at the scale any longer I’m going to break it. Holidays are over, you can get back to being in the gym twenty-five eight.”

Bucky eyed his petite girlfriend, frowning from the doorway to the bathroom. He palmed his stupid fucking gut and sighed, he actually had to suck in to see the number! This is why Bucky hated the holidays. Besides being cold. James Buchanan Barnes very much disliked the cold, one could assume why.

He could handle the residual un-moveable pudge leftover from Hydra’s ever consistent tinkering with his bodily functions. But then it all started with Halloween. Wanda and his girlfriend loved to bake. So he’s getting force fed cookies. Then they need to decorate, go to functions, give out candy. No time for gym.

Bucky grumbled and stepped off the scale, padding to his closet. He grumbled more, “Stupid turkey holiday.” Great yes, the holiday known for feasting. Pumpkin spiced everything in his vision. Bucky had a weakness for pumpkin, his ma made good spiced bread. He took a short vacation with his lovely little angel to the mountains. He tried to rationalize that hiking and marathon sex would make up for the amount of food he had ingested.

Tony Stark of course had a grandiose Thanksgiving celebration. Bucky tried to keep it light, he did, he really did. But every refusal got sad eyes or downright offense. The former winter soldier was belly up by the end of the night, all gym plans out the window.

Christmas fared no better. His best gal absolutely adored Christmas. It was the first holiday she’d experience not as an asset to Hydra, just like Bucky. So instead of RUNNING or LIFTING, the Brunette was shopping and ice skating. He’d already gone up a size in clothes December 3rd to be exact. Bucky correctly guessed he would go up another post-Christmas.

He’d whinge and rant to Steve, the blondie listening and telling Bucky to chill— it’s not like anyone thought it was bad. Bucky exasperatedly shouted, “I’m like a goddamn balloon! I don’t need to be on missions like this! I’m going to Bruce, jerk.”

“Punk.”

Bruce didn’t help either. Just said once he got back into a routine it would come off and he’d be at his regular weight. Refused to give Bucky Ozempic either. Some kinda doctor he was, his patient was obviously distraught.

“Are you dressed yet?,” she hollered.

“Give me a second!,” Bucky pouted.

He was going to pout today. Go to gym, get anger out, and pout. So he shimmied on some catastrophically tight basketball shorts and the biggest shirt he could find. Luckily it covered him up. May or may not have been a panic buy. Bucky cursed some more sitting on his bench to lace up his shoes, stupid gut getting in the way.

Red faced and irritated he snarked, “Happy now princess? I’m going to the gym, nothing is stopping me, I will be going to work out.” She grinned and watched him grab his bag, slapping a round ass cheek on his way out. Bucky shuddered at the wobble. Her familiar rasp rang out, “Nice ass baby! Go get em!”

He was too old for this. Technically his girl was ten years his junior if you took off the cryogenic time. He loved her dearly, always bubbly, somehow remained optimistic after all she’d been through. But the little freak liked Bucky’s pudge, loved it. Always grabbing up on it.

Bucky took the stairs to the gym. He needed it. The brunette thought with a smirk that if he had a nickel for every time he had to remove her hands from his ‘handles of love’ he would’ve been a millionaire back during the Depression. He grimaced at the feeling of his chubby tummy and thick thighs.

Finally. He’d made it. Gym time.

Not a soul in sight, Bucky could just relax and get his frustrations out. With a fuck-ton of a cardio and some toning exercises— really didn’t need any muscle to bulk him out more. He felt a bit peaceful for once, a strange bravado coming over him. The soldier stretched his unused muscles and did a bit of breathing exercises.

God, he already felt lighter. Maybe. Maybe he would take a picture and see if the camera made him look different. Bucky’s therapist already hammered him about his ‘body dysmorphia and negative self-image’.

Taking a peak about and tying his hair half up, Bucky propped the camera at a flattering angle and yanked off his shirt. He refused to look in a mirror for the holidays unless he was clothed. Fiddling with the inane controls, the man finally had the thing on a timer. He pulled off his shirt and tried to pose, straighten up his back again.

The flash went off and he ran to the phone, hit send, then sat down on a nearby bench to look fully. The brunette had to keep his ‘body positive!’ thoughts at the forefront. His chest and legs looked good. Face didn’t look too puffy thanks beard.

Disgust picked the earlier bravado up and hulk smashed it. Buck’s eyes were glued to his rounded belly and fat hips, a muffin over those horrid shorts. There, oh my god, there were stretchmarks on him? Bucky never had stretchmarks! Not the red kind! But there they were— mocking him. Ragged lines on his hips and sections of stomach.

He deleted the picture, feeling horrid. He should run more. But not before the pings blowing up his phone. She was strange and texted in 5 different messages that could’ve been sent in one singular text.

“Babbbbyyyy omg you’re so hot”

“Fuck, I’m getting all flustered in this debrief.”

“Look at that pretty body. Wanna lick those pretty stripes, tiger.”

“I’m so horny lmfao get your ass back to the room in 30. I’m gonna fucking ride you so goddamn hard.”

Bucky blinked a bit, feeling himself perk up. He still was a overblown balloon, but at-least the weirdo he loved enjoyed it. “Tiger huh,” he murmured, scratching at the sensitive marks. Bucky had a time limit now, snatching his gear up and stuffing it into a bag, hustling down the stairs to his room.

“Hey Buck,” Sam’s voice was a blur as Bucky entered his room. He smirked a bit hearing a muffled, “Weird ass.” The super soldier kept his mind on the prize— getting the daylights fucked out of him by his girls. Nope he wasn’t going to pay attention to the chafe on the inside of his thighs one bit. Okay...maybe he’d powder the area after the shower.

All he had to do was wait now. Wait. Not get nerved about his very naked body. He felt like a pile of exposed lard but it’ll be okay. Yep. Bucky would be fine. Pussy would fix his problems. As long as she played nice and didn’t tease. That rendered Bucky into a teary, babbling mess. Either he was always a masochist or Hydra made him into one but God— sometimes when she got mean he saw stars.

The door busted open, Bucky feeling relief at her grinning face. She gently closed it behind her, stripping easily while throwing her panties at him. He caught the material, moaning softly as she growled, “See what you did to me in the middle of that debrief? Had to cut it short my pheromones were so bad.”

Bucky inspected the panties, eyes fluttering at the slick wetting the cloth. He gripped and inhaled, hand flying down to soothe his cock. A lithe body crawled to the end of the bed, the soldier flushing as she seated herself in between his thighs. Keeping him in fucking missionary, her manicured nails spreading him a bit. He gasped, body jolting at the exposure.

Her perky tits heaved as she groped at his thighs and slid down to get handfuls of his round ass. Bucky threw his head back and moaned, “W-What are you up to?” Earlier mentioned pheromones were making his body keyed up and sensitive, pupils likely swallowing up blue eyes. She leaned forward, taught body against his cock.

“Mmm- I don’t know really. You just looked so delicious,” she kissed his belly and cooed, “I know you’re upset with yourself right now, Buck, you’re fucking gorgeous. Holiday weight or not. But I’ll even go to the gym with you, know I’ve been a distraction.”

Bucky slurred a name, hands reaching for her waist, she was so sweet. He sighed, “I enjoyed you as my distraction, best disss-traction everrr. Fuck you’re makin’ me horny babydoll.” She crawled up his bigger body to plant a kiss on Bucky’s swollen lips before sliding back to her place. His cock leaked when she giggled, “I know, poor baby’s all achy for me. But I wanna do something first.”

She slid palms up and down Bucky’s muscled arms, soothing him a little. Then the she-devil gripped his chunky love-handles and shook, watching with poorly-disguised glee. Bucky whined, “Baaaby, stoppp, it’s awful!”

“Think of them as tiger stripes, they’ll fade out when you drop weight,” she dug under where his belly hung a bit and traced at his most sensitive stretch marks. Bucky let out an indecent noise, thrusting up into her sweet touch. The fellow avenger cooed, “S’that feel good tiger? Need some lotion. Pretty boy.”

Bucky outright whimpered when her hand wrapped around his weepy cock, already slick from copious pre. She slowly moved her hand, praising him. Pretty boy, smart, handsome, good, kind, helpful.

He was going to bust a nut before anything happened. Bucky barked, “B-babe, stop! Stop!” Her pretty brows knitted together, hand jerking away as she asked, “What’s wrong bub?” He panted, “Gimme a second, w-wanna fuck you so baaaad.” She gently stroked the outside of thick muscled thighs, padded with love in her opinion.

“Thought I was going to ride you?,” she asked, face beginning to flush.

Bucky shook his head, managing to push himself up to get face-to-face. His soft body filled the tight space between them, making her whimper now. Bucky used one hand to caress the side of her face, the other massaging her pretty tit. Long lashes fluttered, her lips falling open.

Score. He managed to somewhat fumble through the pheromone fog.

Bucky rumbled, “Nuh-uh, all this talk about my body and you don’t want me to pin you down and fill your pretty pussy up? Hm sweetheart?” He punctuated the sentence with a deep kiss, the sweet thing easily giving up to him. It was fun when she played mean but Bucky had more experience— he could play his girl like a fucking fiddle.

“C’mon,” smack, “use your,” smack, “words baby,” smack smack. She didn’t want to stop kissing, sucking on his bottom lip as he pulled away. She blushed, embarrassed on how fast the situation had flipped. His girl whined, “Yeah, c’mon fuck me, fuck me full daddy.” He grinned and laid back, strong arms pulling her atop him.

She squealed, eyes widening. Bucky purred, “You know what to do, Daddy’ll let you on top.” He bit his swollen lip again watching the tip of his clock get swallowed by molten heat, the pair of them shuddering in ecstasy. Her little hands planted on his chest, panting and whining at the fullness. He’d get to work, holding that pretty waist and fucking up into her tight cunt.

It wasn’t long before she was crying out and laying atop his body, gasping, “Y’feel so good! Ah! Soft and oh god s’fucking hard!” Bucky sucked at her neck and thrust into her with downright pornographic slaps. He grunted and gasped, legs wonderfully getting another workout.

He murmured into her ear, a hand stilling all that writhing the poor thing was doing, “Yeah doll? Daddy fucking you good? Feels good to lay on Daddy and get your pussy pounded huh?” She sobbed, clenching and spilling tears on his neck, “Yes daddy! Yes! Don’t stop, fuckfuckfuck, s’rubbing my clit! I love you Daddy!”

Bucky’s eyes crossed for a second. What?

The evil flab that curses his very existence is a free clit rubber? He moaned in delight. Bucky changed their position some to milk out that new fact. Might as well abuse it before it’s gone. His baby was clinging to him now, mewling his name, pussy spasming sporadically. Bucky tilted her head up, melting at her pretty eyes. He rasped, “Come for Daddy baby, know you’re close, let go babydoll.”

He was grinding the tip of his cock into her soft spot while cooing at her. She hiccuped on a sob, the entirety of lean frame tightening down on him. His baby was a lot stronger than she looked. He could feel her core clamp and soak his cock, sending Bucky reeling into his own orgasm with a hoarse shout. He whimpered at the feeling of his balls drawing painfully tight, emptying all he had pent up.

They laid in a pile of sweat and spend, probably love. She was still subbed out, nuzzling into Bucky, only making a soft noise when his soft cock slid out. The brunette guessed it was his turn to return her earlier favor. He felt like the man of the hour. Crazy little kitten thought her geriatric overweight cyborg assassin was hot. Even with the holiday pounds.

So he pressed little kisses, rubbed her back, waxed poetic nonsense of his love for her. Bucky was a lover boy back in the day, just a little rusty, not like his Babygirl was on planet Earth right now anyways. She murmured into his neck with a dopey smile, “Tiger.”

Once again, crazy fellow asset saving Bucky’s wavering self-esteem. How lucky was he?

[jakeyt]

Covet: Chapter 8 (Part 1 of 2)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great. 

Was. 

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home. 

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in. 

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: MINORS DNI (18+); smut (!!); unprotected sex (p in v); vivid recollection of forgotten childhood trauma; feelings of betrayal; jealousy; anxiety; panic attacks; mentions of therapy; mentions of an absent parent; sam is an idiot; abandonment issues; light mention of being under the influence of weed (lmk if i missed anything that is triggering to you!)

Chapter Word Count: 16.6k+

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: much to my disdain, this chapter has to be chopped in half. :((( ugh. the last part of this chapter has been a mf monster to write, and since i already finished up this entire first half today (a little more than half, actually), i figured i might as well post it. so, without further ado, here is the first part of chapter 8. . .

thank u to my girls @joshym & @alwaysonthemend for putting up w my ass. you two are the realest aaaand ilysm 😭

Please enjoy the playlist as you read 🖤

-🌼🌼🌼-

Two Weeks Later

Friday, August 26, 2022

The wound-up ball of tension in your tummy was about to let loose. 

His thrusts were getting desperate, his heavy breaths were mixing with yours. And you couldn’t help but look between you, where your bodies met. . . it made your heart beat even more rapidly in your chest, seeing you connected in such a way. It looked so right. You felt full. You felt whole. In your drug-induced haze, your thoughts couldn’t help but wander as you thought of the final step to feeling close to him. 

Fuck.

As soon as the thought entered your brain, you had to throw your head back in ecstasy. It was almost too much to imagine. 

Your mind was so fucking cloudy– nothing sounded better in that moment than to feel him fully.

You wanted it. Needed it. And you knew this time might very well be the last. And you had to feel him in that way. Just once. You’d get a Plan-fucking-B in the morning. It was worth it to feel him in that way. 

Just this once. This one last time. It would be the perfect ending to this beautiful chapter of your life. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Present Day

Saturday, August 13, 2022 

“Yeah. Not too bad,” you shook your head, as if it were nothing. But you knew your expression was still sunken and weird.

He studied your face for a bit after you’d spoken, his expression said he wanted you to say more. 

But you weren’t going to, and he knew it.

“What if I make you dinner, then we watch a movie or something?” He requested, his brow raising at the prospect. 

He’d do what now? Your tummy did somersaults at the idea of him taking care of you. . .and especially like that. Cooking for you?

Surely he had an ulterior motive. 

“What do you want in return?” You asked suspiciously, your tears evaporating as you squinted at him. 

“What do you mean?”

“You want sex after you cook me dinner or something? An even trade?”

He blanched at that, drawing his head back a bit to observe you. “Even trade?” He scoffed, scratching his chin. “What the fuck even happens inside that brain of yours, y/n?”

Going into defense mode, you placed your hands on your hips to square up. “I’m still learning you, Jake. I don’t know what to expect from you.”

“The worst, per usual,” he said, rolling his eyes and flicking at the tip of his nose with his index. “Your favorite thing to assume about me is the worst. Always.”

“Not true,” you scoffed, flushing. He wasn’t wrong. . .you were regularly unfair towards him. But. . . “You haven’t exactly been trustworthy the entire time I’ve known you. Think back.”

“I don’t have to. I know I was an asshole and I wish like hell that I could take it back,” he revealed, sending earnest eyes your way, swiping a sweet thumb across your cheek, taking time to appreciate your left cheekbone. Then, he moved to bashfully tuck his hair behind his ears, taking a moment to untie the hair tie from his finger to pull his hair into a bun. “I’m sorry about that, by the way.”

You got momentarily sidetracked by watching the action of him pulling his hair up, suddenly wanting nothing more than to run your fingers through it, just as you liked to do.

Then you noticed him, waiting for a response as you drew your eyes from him. 

Clearing your throat, you refocused your thoughts. “Don’t worry about it,” you brushed off, not wanting to harp on it for too long, for fear of putting your foot in your mouth. “It’s whatever. Really.”

“No, it’s not. I wasn’t kind to you at the beginning, and I’m sorry,” he continued, looking you directly in the eye, showing sincerity in his deep brown irises. “I was going through a lot and took it out on you and that wasn’t fair.”

Nodding, you took the bait. “You’re right. It wasn’t fair. But,” you walked a couple steps forward, closer to him. Then, reaching a hand out, you held the side of his face. Suddenly, it didn’t matter what an ass he’d been before. He’d proven that he wasn’t truly like that. And you understood hurt feelings making a person act irrationally. “I get it. I’ve been through some shit, too, and I reacted in ways I shouldn’t have.” Smirking, you looked past him and thought back to your therapy sessions from years ago, reciting a few of your counselor’s words that’d stuck with you. “‘All that matters is that you see it, own it, and then grow from it.’ That’s what my therapist always told me when I was a kid, anyway.”

Swiveling your eyes back up to see his expression, your heart skipped a beat. His eyes had softened significantly at your vulnerability, seeming to take your words in. His eyebrows dipped and lips tilted in concentration. 

It always took you by surprise just how much his eyes showed his emotions. And how interested he always seemed in the things you would say.

“Very wise words,” was his response before he reached out to grip your bicep, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Then he was moving towards the kitchen, calling back to you. “I’m gonna go make some stir fry. Chicken?”

You watched him leave, wanting to follow him wherever he went. 

But you didn’t. 

After responding in agreement to his suggestion, you made your way to the bathroom to take a quick shower and wind down before dinner.

-🌼🌼🌼-

The next morning, you woke up, curled in a fluffy pallet of blankets on the floor. 

Both of you, still in sweats. You, in a t-shirt, him, wearing no shirt (fuck yeah). 

No sex had happened the night before. Jake’d thought it would be a good idea to do dinner and a movie, but you’d had the bright idea to make a pile of blankets to lay on to watch the movies. And, of course, you’d let yourself fall asleep next to him. 

And. . . As much as you knew you shouldn’t admit it, it was fucking wonderful just falling asleep next to him. The act was so domestic that it should scare you. . . But all it did was make you want more. 

More you couldn’t have. 

But for now, you’d pretend you could.

Your head was resting on the same pillow as Jake’s, abandoning yours in your sleep for the sake of being closer to him. 

Though, rather than pulling yourself away, you did the complete opposite. You rolled onto your belly and wrapped yourself around him, one arm over his abdomen, a hand splayed on his chest and one of your legs tangled between his.

You knew it wasn’t a good idea to let yourself feel so tied to him in the midst of your sadness. It completely abandoned the idea of not being emotionally dependent on him. . .

But you also weren’t so oblivious to not see that you’d broken a few rules already. 

And, after your anxiety attack (because that’s exactly what it had been) last night, you decided it was better to just let yourself have this time with him now and not worry too much about the rules.

Rather than stressing about making sure you were following every fucking rule, you figured it would be worth it to appreciate the time you still did have with him. Because this wasn’t going to last forever, you felt it was a good idea to make the most of it while you could. 

It was going to be gone soon (too soon), and you weren’t going to take for granted the time you had left.

So, when you woke up, instead of immediately initiating sex, you took time to admire him. 

You propped your chin on the hand you’d put on his chest. Trying to memorize every freckle on his handsome face, tilted to the side, perfect for your line of sight. You studied him . . .his features, sharp, yet delicate. His tanned skin was perfectly sunkissed from spending the day in the sun at Sam’s AirBnb. His pretty lips, partially open like always. . . 

You’d learned that he didn’t snore a bunch. But, every now and then, like this morning, he’d let out the occasional, slight snore in his sleep. 

Usually, snoring of any kind annoyed you. Elsie was the worst snorer in the history of all mankind, and it always aggravated you. And any man you’d ever slept with who did it was always immediately woken up and kicked out of your bed.

But when Jake did it, it was nothing but endearing to you. It was something that he did that just made him him. 

You pressed your body closer to his- he was so warm. It felt so overwhelmingly natural to be so close to him.

You watched the way his eyes fluttered behind his eyelids as he slept, wondering what he dreamt about. Did he dream? And were they vivid like yours? 

Then, you absentmindedly ran a thumb lightly against his cheek, mesmerized by how soft his skin felt beneath your fingertips. 

Just as your pointer finger went to trace the cupid’s bow on his upper lip, he started stirring, showing telling signs of waking up. You stopped yourself before he could possibly wake up with your damn finger on his lip. 

Don’t want him to think I’m a fucking weirdo, you thought, resting your hand, again, on his chest. And I definitely don’t want him to know I was watching him sleep either. That would be embarrassing as hell.

This time, you laid your cheek on top of it, deciding to feign sleep for the duration of time it would take for him to wake up.

Not too long after, you felt a big breath lift your hand, then you heard his voice. 

“I know when you’re watching me,” he commented, his voice deep from just having woken up. 

You didn’t say anything, just lifted your head, an apologetic look on your face as you opened one eye at him in defeat. 

He had a soft smile resting on his lips.

“It’s cute,” he said, reassuring you, sitting up a bit underneath you to lean his head against the couch, balancing on an elbow. He reached a hand up to come gently through your hair with his fingers. 

“You don’t think it’s weird?”

He shook his head, his face thoughtful as he continued to look at you. “Not at all,” he replied. Then, a smirk grew on his lips. “The morning after we fell asleep in your bed—.”

“What?”

He raised a brow, as if to say ‘really?’ “When you fell asleep on the couch, I got you to lay down and try to sleep. Then, you yelled at me from your room—effectively freaking me out, by the way—and then asked me to sleep with you?”

You blushed, feeling stupid that you momentarily forgot. “Oh. Yeah.”

He raised his brows with a hum, the same grin appearing on his lips again. “I watched you the morning after. You slept later than me that morning, and I was so glad you did,” he watched his movements as he tucked a lock of bed-head hair behind your ear. 

“Why?” 

“Because you look so fucking ethereal when you sleep,” he said. “Not that you don’t all the time. . .but when you sleep? Dammit, you just look so peaceful. And I love that you feel that peace in those moments. Not all of the stress.”

It was your turn to hum in response, completely caught off guard by his kind words. You didn’t know why it still did surprise you to hear him say such things. It wasn’t out of character to hear sweet things leave his mouth, but it still felt like a gentle surprise anytime he did say something like that.

Then, something in your heart told you to open up. Let him in. 

And so, without considering anything else, you did. 

“You know, I don’t always sleep peacefully,” you commented, your hand now tracing circles on his chest. “That’s a sort of new thing. Good dreams. Peaceful sleep.”

His brow raised, questioning your words. 

“I haven’t always been able to sleep so well,” you started, apprehensively. But when his hand kept combing through your hair, and his eyes opened up to learn more, you decided it was safe. He was safe. You could share this. “There are things that happened in my past that caused a hell of a lot of pain, and for as long as I can remember, I’ve carried those painful things into my sleep with me. They’ve haunted me. Another thing my childhood therapist confirmed. The trauma caused me to have restless, terrible sleep.” You paused, remembering some of the nights you were too scared to be alone, sobbing and screaming in your bed, crying for help. Your eyes naturally watered at the memories, your voice wet with your next words. “Some fucking terrifying nightmares.”

You sniffled, trying to alleviate the oncoming tears. You didn’t want to cry in front of him two days in a row. But, here you were. Jake brushed more hair behind your ear, then put that arm behind his head to lean up. The other strong arm wrapped protectively around your waist. He massaged shapes with his thumb, into the hip he held. 

Your eyes closed on their own, relishing the feeling of him reacting so gently to you. 

They reopened when you heard him clear his throat. His deep chocolate irises were shadowed with concern. “You don’t have to talk about it,” he pointed out, continuing to rub your waist. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to tell me anything that may hurt you.”

You considered his words for a few seconds, but ultimately decided what you wanted to do.

“I want to tell you.”

“Okay. I want to listen.”

You’d only ever opened up about all of this to Elsie (because she was there), and then Josh when you became his friend. But the urge to tell Jake about all of it was far too overwhelming to ignore. It felt as though you had to tell him. 

“Where do I even begin?” You pondered aloud. “What do you want to know?”

He hummed, smooshing his lips together in thought for a few seconds, squinting his eyes in thought as he peered up to the ceiling. You tapped your fingers against his chest, waiting for his input. 

“When did the bad dreams start? Can you pinpoint an age or anything?”

“After my mom left,” you replied, curling further into his body. 

He accepted your motion, encompassing you, keeping you close. 

“How old were you?” 

“I was ten. Left me sitting on the front porch as she left in a string of curse words. . . Blaming Els and me for all of it,” you stared into the space just past his head, thinking back on it. You felt brave revisiting it at this moment, for whatever reason. “I can’t recall everything she said that day or before, but what I do remember both from that day and before that day. . .,” you stopped, your face flinching a bit at the dark thoughts. “. . . It’s not good.”

Your skin crawled, and you weren’t liking the feeling. Needing to center yourself, you decided to look at him again to gauge his reaction. 

His face was rather relaxed, keeping a consistent air of calm to support you through your responses. “You doing okay?” He questioned, checking in. His brows dipped in concern for a moment, waiting for you.

Your lips lifted, back in the moment with him. 

This is the present time. He is what’s happening. The past is the past and I’m bigger than it, you recited. 

Some of the words were those advised by your childhood therapist. Truthfully, the lady had had some wise words. Jake’d been right when he’d come to that conclusion the night before.

A quiet, content smile was on your face when you responded. “Yeah. I promise. I want to tell you this.”

“Okay,” he replied, his voice quiet like your smile. “Who did you live with after?”

“My grandparents,” you said. “And Elsie.”

“Stayed with them until. . .?”

“Until I moved out to go to school at Pratt. When I moved here.”

“And you’re going to school for. . .?”

You grinned, appreciating his variation of questions. “Majoring in writing,” you groaned as the last word fell from your mouth. “And minoring in music.”

“Don’t like writing anymore?”

You sat on that for a second, then answered. “It’s not that I don’t like it. . . It’s that it’s not my passion,” you paused your motion on his chest and reached down to grab his hand that held your body. You lifted it up from under the fluffy blanket that covered you both. Holding his hand, you traced his calloused fingertips. “I admire how you went after your passion when you had the chance. I wish I’d gone after my own.”

He watched you, seeming to measure your words. “And yours is music, too.”

“Mhm. . . But not playing it,” you added. “Just listening to it– studying it. Learning more about it. I love writing, but I breathe those melodies.”

He smiled in response to that. “Me too. And I like that you feel that way, too,” he commented, letting your fingers play with his. “But who’s to say you couldn’t combine the two? Become a music journalist? A lyricist?”

For some reason, you’d never considered the latter. But it felt as though a fresh breath of air had been breathed into you. “I’ve never thought of being a lyricist, but that sounds. . .”

“Incredible?” He smiled. 

“Yeah,” you sighed. “I wonder how you get a job like that, though.”

You let go of his hand to fold both of yours on his chest, your chin on top of them. He moved his hand to encircle your waist again. “I’ll help you find something,” he assured. Your belly buzzed. The idea of him helping you with something so personal to you . . . it made you feel everything all at once. “Somewhere. You live in New York City. . .I’m sure the possibilities are endless.”

“I’m sure you’re correct,” you agreed, admiring the way his breaths would lift your chin, the way his bicep flexed as he moved the bent arm behind his head. 

A comfortable silence crept over the two of you, him so obviously watching you– admiring you. It couldn’t be mistaken for anything else. 

His next words confirmed it. 

“Even in the grayness of this morning, you shine so bright,” he said, almost absentmindedly. “You fucking glow, y/n. You’re just brilliant.”

Not sure what to even begin to say to that, all you could utter was, “Thank you.” The sound of tears in your throat, behind your response, was a surprise, though. 

“Has no one ever told you?”

“Well, Josh says sweet things like that. And Elsie is great at encouraging me, too. . . But hearing you say something like that. . . those words. It just feels good. I don’t know,” you shook your head, a tear falling to meet his tanned chest. “And no one has ever said those exact words to me, no.”

“You are all of that and more, my lo—,” he cleared his throat. “You are so many things wrapped in one, y/n. So many fantastic things.”

“Stop,” you sniffed, for the second time that morning. More tears fell onto his chest. “You don’t have to say things like that. I promise I’ll still want to have sex with you if you don’t,” you laughed, wiping your leftover tears. The words sounded funny (true, but still funny) as they left your mouth. 

“I want to tell you those things,” he said, firm in his response. “You deserve to hear those good things. Sex or not.”

“Thank you,” again, was all you could say. 

“But the sex is pretty good,” he smirked as he said the words, his eyes glinting mischievously as he skirted a hand up the back of your shirt, skating fingers along your bare back. His eyes found yours when he got closer to your shoulders. “No bra?”

“You know I don’t wear one when I sleep.”

“So I’m assuming you knew we were gonna fall asleep out here?” 

“Mhm.”

“And you still let it happen?”

I did. . . And even though I shouldn’t, I keep breaking all of my own stupid rules, you thought in defeat.

“Wanted it to,” you remarked.

He hummed, watching you with a curious look in his beautiful eyes. You knew he was most probably thinking the same thing as you. 

But, all he said next was, “Can I ask you more questions?”

“Yeah,” you whispered in the quietness of the morning. The rumbling of thunder outside, followed by the pitter-patter of rain droplets against the living room window made goosebumps grow on your skin. “Nothing better than a quiet, rainy morning.”

“You are correct,” he replied in an approving tone. “So. . .your mother. . . Is it okay if I ask about her?”

“Yes,” your lips quirked. “I’ve already told you as much, silly.”

“I know, I know. . . It’s just a lot, I’m sure.”

You nodded to confirm. “It is. But I want to share this with you.”

“Thank you.”

“For trauma dumping?” You giggled. 

“For trusting me,” he said, serious in his reply. His eyes flicked to every inch of your face, taking you in. His hand, now massaging the tension from your neck. 

Miraculous that he just seemed to know the place where your tension settled. 

Not that it wasn’t a common place for tension to reside. But you wondered if he’d noticed you favoring the bottom of your neck during tense situations, over time.

Your heart hammered at the intimacy of the moment. You were so close to just leaning up and kissing him, but you didn’t want to cut conversation short. It was too enjoyable for you. 

It felt so freeing.

Trying to bring you both back to the topic at hand, you inquired. “What was your question about my mom?”

“Oh, yes,” he refocused, his hand now moving up to massage the roots at the base of your head. More goosebumps grew at the sensation. “Do you still talk to her?”

“Uh, no. Haven’t even seen the woman since she left. She hurt me so bad back then. . .I’ve kind of closed off the fact that she even exists,” you said. “She wouldn’t want to hear from me anyway.”

“That’s terrible.”

“It’s true. I’m just glad for the family I do still have,” you paused, deciding if you wanted to tack on the other words you were thinking. There was no reason not to, you’d already bared so much to him in a span of minutes. “Glad I have those people who want me.”

“I want you,” he wrapped a hand at the back of your neck, cupping the back of your head as one thumb rubbed over your pulse point. His eyes bore into yours, begging you to understand the words.

The next few moments were quiet and filled with everything left unsaid. What it was that remained unsaid, you didn’t know. Or maybe you did know.

He eventually let go, clearing his throat to show he was moving on. “Does Elsie feel the same? Closed off and all that?”

You blinked a couple times before responding. 

“Y-yeah. Pretty much. She and I are on the same wavelength about 98 percent of the time.”

“Imagine 100 percent of the time,” he blew out a breath, his eyes getting big as he stared off. 

“Twin life?”

He looked back at you, a grin on his pretty lips. “Twin life,” he confirmed. Pensiveness painted his features, then he spoke again. “Speaking of . . . Did you meet Josh at the record store?”

“Yes,” you responded. “Almost 4 years ago.”

“I’m jealous.”

“That I had that time with Josh while you missed him so bad?”

“Psh,” he said, rolling his eyes. “No. I’ve spent enough time with that fucker through the years,” he snickered, winking at you. “I’m jealous that he got all that time with you. Getting to know you while I was in Illinois, wasting away.”

Your tummy lit up with butterflies again. But you treaded carefully with this topic. You didn’t need him making any assumptions about Josh again.

There was no reason for him to be jealous. And honestly, you wanted to show him as much.  

“Well, you shouldn’t get too jealous,” you said, moving from laying down. You positioned your legs on either side of his hips, then sat your ass on the tops of his thighs, opening yourself up to him. 

He took in a sharp breath, and smoothed his hands over the tops of your thighs, then slipped his hands past the waistband of your sweats, giving your ass a generous squeeze.

“Why’s that?” He asked, his brow lifting in question. He brought himself up a little more, leaning against the couch. As he moved to sit up, he used his hands on your ass to push your crotch against his hardening cock. 

The wet arousal in your panties pressed against you. You gasped at the feeling. 

His lip curled to show his top row of perfectly straight, white teeth. 

So fucking handsome.

“Well,” you ground your hips against him, his head lolling back momentarily. He got back by bucking up into you, just the slightest bit. It caused a breathy moan to leave your lips. “He will never have me like this, for one,” you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing his face closer to your chest. “I only want you like this, Jake.”

Fuck. That felt so genuine slipping from your lips. And you wouldn’t tell him this (you could barely admit it to yourself), but you really did only want him. Like, in general. Out of all other men, he was the only one you craved. 

When did that even happen?! Your incredulous thoughts could have taken over had he not effectively distracted you.

He moved his hands up under your shirt, abandoning your ass. His eyes were glued to your hardening nipples as his thumbs pressed into your tummy, massaging your hot skin. 

It was getting harder and harder to believe there’d been a time that you would have stopped this—out of fear and a bunch of shit. Leaving him on his own, and you sulking, feeling conflicted as hell.

Though, these days, you couldn’t leave him. 

There was nothing that could pull you away from him in moments like these.

(And that was a scary thought you could consider later.)

Your body was drawn to him, putty under his touch. Bending down the slightest bit, you curled your hands comfortably in his ever-growing locks. Your nose nestled into the part of his hair right behind his ear. One of your favorite parts of his body was that little crook behind his ear. You didn’t know why. . . 

But dammit— he always smelled so delicious. His cologne held hints of sandalwood and amber. . . And something so delectably Jake.

And God, you loved his hair. The citrusy smell of his shampoo. The softness of the locks. The length.

Fuck, the length.

Silly as it may’ve been, you were so glad he was growing it out. The longer it got, the more his heat scale increased. And at this point, he was getting dangerously hot.

His cock nudged against you, leaving nothing to the imagination underneath the layers of clothing. Anytime you’d move your hips to entice him, his cock throbbed beneath you, making your panties more and more uncomfortable with how wet they were. 

You felt his hands flatten, traveling up your tummy slowly. But just as he was about to touch your breasts, he switched directions, running his calloused fingertips down your back instead. 

“Asshole,” you whispered in his ear. You didn’t even have to look at him to know he was smirking. 

The little raspy laugh beneath you gave him away.

Your skin grew goosebumps at the sensation of his rough fingertips making soft shapes on your back. 

But you wanted his hands headed back in the direction they were before. 

Your nipples were blatantly expanding the fabric of your t-shirt, begging for him. 

And, when you pulled away to observe his face, he was already waiting for you, his eyes burning into yours, all the way down to your heart. 

Though. . .he didn’t stay there for long. He let his gaze travel back down to your breasts, his pupils dilated, filling his iris almost completely black. 

He looked hungry and your hips were moving of their own accord at that point. Every bit of him you got was making you need more, more, more. 

“I love your fucking tits,” he growled, wrapping one strong arm behind your back and effectively placing you beneath him. 

Your breath momentarily left your lungs, making you release a huge sigh as he arranged you so your back laid nicely against the soft blankets and pillows. 

“What do you like about them?”

He groaned, smoothing his hand up your stomach again. His hand cupped the underside of one breast. You sighed at finally feeling his hands where you wanted them.

“I love that they’re yours,” he started, reaching his thumb to rub and pinch at your left nipple. “I love that the color of your nipples is the same color as your pretty lips,” he lifted your shirt the slightest bit, sucking one bud into his mouth, kissing it like he would your mouth. Then, he replaced his mouth with his hand, squeezing your breast as you arched into his touch. 

Finally, he connected his mouth with yours, his bottom lip slipping between your lips to deepen it just a bit. You moaned into his mouth as he did yours. Then, he pulled away, leaning on his forearm. Switching between tits with one hand, he cupped the bottom of each, moving his hand under them enough to watch them jiggle. “And I love watching them bounce as I’m fucking you.”

“Shit, Jake,” you moaned, pushing yourself further into his hand. You were aching for him to be inside of you. “Fuck me so you can see what you like, baby.”

He sat up, slipped his sweats (there having been no underwear underneath, apparently) down his thighs, thick cock springing free. The sight made your belly swirl and your center wet with need. 

Once he was completely naked, he repositioned above you. 

But your skin was itching with the feeling of still being clothed. You needed to feel his warm skin against your own.

“Move,” you motioned for him to back up. You sat up as he took the hint, sitting back on his knees beside you.

His eyebrows wrinkled and his eyes grew worried. “Where are you go—?”

But he went silent as the t-shirt left your body and your bare chest flashed at him. And as you stripped yourself of the shirt, your boobs bounced a little, just as he liked. 

“Fuck,” he groaned, reaching for himself. You watched, your throat tightening, as he looked down at his shaft, his mouth falling open, just slightly, as he gave himself a couple of short, quick pumps. 

Dear God.

But he seemed dissatisfied.

And when you’d normally stop him and tell him to let you do it instead, you didn’t this time. 

But it seemed he still wanted your help.

You just sat in awe as he stretched his hand out to you. You were still as a statue as he gripped your chin, pulling it down the slightest bit. You followed his lead and opened your mouth more with his gesture. Then, you watched as he moved the hand, palm open, in front of your mouth. 

“Spit for me, baby,” he nodded at the hand in front of you. 

You didn’t argue, doing as you were told, heart racing as you spit in his hand. 

After you’d done what he wanted, he wrapped the hand around the base of his thick cock, giving himself a few long strokes from his skilled hand.

Though, as soon as he threw his head back with one particularly generous, tight-fisted move, you decided that it was officially past time to get naked.

You made quick work of your sweats, his eyes flicking up to watch you pull them off in a flurry. Then you hooked your fingers into your soaked underwear, getting them off as fast as possible.

You wanted to be the one to please, rather than his hand. 

You were growing jealous of the fist, as it held his pretty dick the way your pussy was aching to. 

When you were finally just as bare as he was, you laid on your back again. You spread one leg wide to open up for him, keeping the other flat, against your heap of blankets. In this position, he’d be able to see the bottom curve of your ass, your full breasts, and your slick pussy.

He didn’t see you, though, as he’d gone to focus on pleasuring himself, eyebrows drawn and whimpering a bit as he continued to watch his hand work at a steady pace. 

“Jake,” you called quietly, urging him to look at you and come to you. 

As soon as his name left your mouth, he looked up from where he was watching himself work his cock. After one hungry once-over from his dark eyes, he bit his lip.

“You ready?” You asked, slowly spreading both legs a little more for him, reaching two fingers to slide through your wet folds, shivering at the feeling of finally being touched. 

“Want me to eat your sweet pussy, baby?” He questioned, his voice a velvety rasp. 

Ready to please, his hand left his thick cock in order to move the short distance it took to be closer to you. 

“I want that pretty dick inside of me,” you responded, your voice exuding all of the need you felt running through your veins. “Now.”

And in a flash, he was on top of you again. His tip, damp from your saliva, nudged its way to the place it knew so well. 

Before any more words could be spoken, he pushed inside of you in one swift take. The two of you sighed in unison, relief flashing over his face, as you were sure it did yours, too.

He leaned both forearms on either side of your head, keeping his handsome face close to yours as he fucked you, thick cock stretching you well with each deliberate, hard thrust. 

His eyes were trained on your heaving tits, doing just what he wanted them to.

“I was starting to get jealous—,” you paused, whining with one particular snap of his hips, his dick hitting your secret spot. “Of-of that hand,” you said, your voice shaking on the words. 

His forehead was beaded with sweat already, ever-energetic in his pursuits—whether it be playing music or in the bedroom. 

“Don’t be,” he responded, pinning you with a stern look from his eyes, tone firm. “Your pussy feels better than anything else.”

The telling sounds of your bodies connecting only added to the ecstasy of the moment.

“Took-took y-you too long to get the hint,” you panted. 

“It was a few seconds,” he said, rocking his hips extra hard with the last word. 

Your toes curled with a moan. 

“Still too long.”

“Impatient.”

“No, I just know what I want,” you grabbed the back of his neck, bringing his mouth to yours in a sloppy kiss, tongues fighting to lick further into the other’s open mouth. 

With one final swipe of his tongue against your teeth, he pulled away. “You’re high maintenance.”

You were suddenly self-conscious, overcome with a feeling that you weren’t good enough for him. That you annoyed him.

You covered it up with a defensive, haughty tone. “So?”

“I fucking love it.”

Oh.

Your body opened up at that, seemingly on its own. You bent your knees, spreading your thighs even more, letting him sink deeper. 

You grabbed at his biceps, gripping them to give yourself some sort of grounding as he started giving all he had, each thrust of his harder than the one before it. 

It was painful and delicious all at once. 

Fuck he felt so good.

The way he filled you was unlike any man before him. He fit so fucking well, and your center never failed to grip him just right.

“I also love the way your pussy feels,” he said, breathing heavily. “You like how I feel?”

You grinned, feeling drunk on him. Your belly clenched, simultaneous to your center with each rock of his hips. Sighing, you let your hands move to hold onto his strong shoulders. 

“You feel so fucking perfect,” you sighed, looking down to where your bodies met. It was almost too much. When you went to look up, something caught your attention from the corner of your eye. You squeezed his shoulder. “Jake.”

A concerned look painting his features, he stopped, checking you. “What? What’s wrong?”

You smiled softly, cupping his cheek, rolling your hips once, needing the pressure of him moving inside of you. “Nothing at all,” you went to tuck his hair behind one of his ears, reassuring. “Just got an idea.”

He picked up his movements: languid strokes, this time, making you forget about everything besides him momentarily. “And what is that?”

You kept on when you could find the words. “I—uhhh,” you moaned, your eyes rolling back in your head as he moved to lay his belly against yours, knowing the friction would be perfect for your swollen, throbbing clit. “I want to pl—oh!,” you sucked in a breath, seeing stars for a moment. Once you were able, you continued. “Wanna play a record.”

“Right now?” He grunted, making one hard rock of his hips into yours. 

Your toes curled, still feeling the softness of his tummy on your tender bundle of nerves as his tip repeatedly hit your secret spot. “Yeah.”

He came to a slow stop, eyes trained on yours. He stayed there, watching you with an unspoken question in his eyes, eyebrows furrowing like they did when he thought deeply. 

“Is that okay?” You asked, trying to break him from his reverie, nervous you’d freaked him out with the odd request. 

“Y-yeah,” he shook his head, hair effectively falling from where you’d tucked it. “That sounds incredible, actually.”

Butterflies let loose in the pit of your stomach. Of course he’d like the idea. He loved music just the same as you did. 

He pulled out, and you instantly missed him. But you watched him lazily, dreamily as he stood up smoothly, and walked to the shelf of records (now a mixture of his and yours, of course). “Which one?” He wondered aloud.

You sat up on your elbows and watched him as he thumbed through the records, appreciating the view. “You pick and I’ll let you know if I like.”

As he searched through the albums, you let your mind wander with your eyes.

His body was a work of art. 

His thighs, muscular, from the way they flexed when he’d move his body with his guitar on stage. 

The perfectly round ass that was undoubtedly gifted to him by the body gods. 

And those broad shoulders that were strong to match his equally strong personality.

When he turned a bit towards you, his eyes quickly scanning the back of a vinyl, your eyes instantly found his straining dick. His tip, still swollen from being pulled mid-sex. Your clit thrummed and twitched, seeing how it now glistened from your dripping pussy. Dammit you needed him to hurry. 

But most of all, damn this idea for taking him away from you.

Once he turned to you fully, an Aretha Franklin vinyl in hand, you found his eyes. They were questioning, but you looked away from them to admire your most favorite parts of his body. 

His toned pecs and his solid stomach— fuck.

There were truly no words for the way he was built— pecs naturally firm and rounded with lean muscle. 

And his stomach— just a little soft and the perfect finish to it all, complimenting him just right— finishing out his sturdy, powerful stature. 

His aura was compelling. He was utterly beautiful, with his sparkling brown eyes, flowing chestnut locks, and sharp features. And the way he was built matched so well with how he carried himself. Without even trying, he could control any room he was in. 

He was honestly what all of your dreams were made of. . . And in moments like these, you wished more than anything that he was yours. 

But he wasn’t. 

And that bitter thought helped to snap you out of your trance, finally looking at him to answer. 

He was smirking, knowingly. “I love your body, too, Beautiful.”

You flushed, rolling your eyes to play off the way his words made your heart flutter. Glancing briefly at the record, squinting to truly recognize it, you nodded at the choice. “Aretha is always a yes.”

“Agreed.”

He turned to put it on the Crosley, and as soon as the needle hummed against the record, making its wonderful crackling sound, you knew you’d made the right choice. 

The sound added to the bliss you were already feeling on this quiet, rainy morning.

The combination of watching him walk back to you, with some of the most incredible music backing him. . . Shit.

“I hope you don’t mind. I skipped past the first few,” he said as he came back to you, falling to his knees beside you. 

You smiled up at him. “Perfectly fine. This is the best song on the entire record anyway.” 

“I think so, too,” he said, eyes lifting with a grin.

When he went to lean over you to pick up where you left off, you scooted over, motioning for him to lay down instead. 

Without question, he did as you wanted, and as Aretha sang of a man making her feel like a natural woman, you sank onto him, letting him stretch you so well. 

The look on his face when you fucked him was one of your favorite sights. He always watched you so closely. . .whether it be your face, your breasts, your ass, or your pussy that wrapped around him, so tight. He’d scrunch his brows and let his mouth open a bit with certain movements of your hips, and bite his lip at other times. . . 

But, in moments like this one, when one hand would be holding your face while the other gripped your hip, a small, close-mouthed smile on his soft, plush lips. . . His emotion-filled eyes, boring into yours . . .

Your world tipped slightly on its axis when he’d do shit like that. Moments like this made a whole lot of gray in what should have been a strictly black and white situation. 

And, as you listened to the soulful voice flowing quietly from the record player, your thoughts drifted further. . .

When my soul was in the lost and found,

You came along to claim it.

I didn't know just what was wrong with me,

Till your kiss helped me name it.

This song perfectly summed up how you felt about this man. The same man who had been the bane of your existence so recently was now a light on your darkest days.

And, as you watched him, his hips beginning to move on their own, making you feel complete and right. . . You truly couldn’t imagine your life without him. 

And not just because of the sex. It was him. Having him around made you feel . . . whole.

Without evening knowing or trying, he’d been helping you find missing pieces to your puzzle. 

Hidden pieces of your soul that you hadn’t seen in a long time. Some good. Some bad. But all you. 

Pieces you’d forgotten even existed. 

And by just being near you, he made you feel authentic in a way you’d never felt with another man. 

As you rode him, leaning down on your forearms to get close to his face, you gave him a long kiss. A kiss that you hoped said thank you. . . Because, truly, you were so grateful for him. 

But as you separated your lips from his and pressed your perspired forehead to his own, you looked into the deep pools of his eyes that held so much. And you knew you had to say the words out loud.

“Thank you,” you whispered, hoping he’d understand as you felt new tears cloud your vision. Your hips were moving on their own, matching the slow rocking of his hips. You were holding onto him, keeping rhythm with the song as you had this moment.

He held your gaze, a secret smile forming in his eyes as he spoke. “Thank you.”

You studied him seriously, the feeling in his eyes seeming to match your own. Both of you stayed there for a minute, taking the other in. 

You kissed him once more. And, rather than continuing the conversation, you focused on finding a release for you both. 

Just as another favorite of yours came on. 

The opening chorus resonated with you just like every time you’d heard it before, but this time it was different—better—as he laid underneath you, holding you. . . Staring at you with eyes that held the motherfucking world.

Like the sweet morning dew, 

I took one look at you,

And it was plain to see you were my destiny.

With my arms open wide, I threw away my pride.

Feeling everything all at once, you spread your legs wide, thighs stretching out on top of his to get as close as you could to him. Then you bent your legs at the knees, and leaned toward him, laying on top of him and nuzzling into that sweet spot behind his ear. You made yourself comfortable as you knew this would be your undoing. 

It always was from this position. 

And this song was just feeding into the emotions coursing through your heart, intensifying all of it at once.

Your favorite way to finish was in this exact position, and you knew at that moment, that it would take you no time. 

Fucking him at that moment felt extremely dissimilar to all of your times before. The damned music was untying every string you’d used to close up your fragile heart. 

While lost in your sudden wave of thought, he took over, knowing all the moves. He’d grown familiar with this position, just as you had. He knew your body. What you liked. 

He grabbed a hip and a handful of your ass, and moved your body down forcefully to meet him while also thrusting his hips up. 

The contrast of motion and the tugging at your heart helped every piece of you to get the much needed stimulation. And fuck if it didn’t make your thighs shake.

You whined, your toes curling as, simultaneously, his tip hit your g-spot and your clit nudged against the lower part of his tummy. 

“Jakey,” you moaned. 

“I know,” he breathed hotly, not letting up on his motions in the slightest. “I can fucking feel you pulse around me, baby.”

“You like it?” You sighed, still next to his ear, needing to hear the affirmation from him.

“Best fucking feeling in the whole world.”

Your tummy lurched at that, butterflies fluttered their wings. 

That’s how you feel for me, too, you thought.

And with one more strategic move of his hips, you saw stars. You felt every nerve ending light up. Your skin felt like static.

“Oooohhh,” you moaned, your body shaking. 

He groaned, whining a bit. “Y/n—I’m—.”

You felt far away as he tapped your hip, sinking into all things Jake, Jake, Jake.

You jostled back to reality right as he lifted you off of him, depositing you as carefully and quickly as he could on the covers next to you both in no time.

Just as you laid down, he was instantly on his knees, warm seed spilling onto your tummy, right where he’d placed you. 

You blinked and shook your head, registering what’d almost happened. Your thoughts were flying— going crazy. 

“Fuck,” he said, flopping down next to you as he slid a hand down his face. “That was a close one.”

“Yeah,” was all you could mutter, your heart beating hard against your chest.

Before much more could be said, he sealed the interaction with a slow, sure kiss and got up to fix you both breakfast.

Now that you’d had his cooking the night prior, you were really looking forward to the breakfast. You’d learned the man was extremely gifted in culinary— just as he was in music. 

But, even as the bacon crackled and the vanilla-laced smell of fresh waffles wafted in through the open layout of the apartment, you weren’t really thinking about his cooking. 

No; inside your mind, you were swirling back and forth with how close you’d felt to him. How sex was starting to feel so effortless and all-encompassing with him. . . And that coupled with how much you’d been feeling in the moment?

It was obvious he’d carved a place in your heart.

A big one.

But you’d worry about that later. 

Because. . .what was clawing at you more was one particular thought. 

You now had a nagging curiosity of what it might feel like to have him actually finish inside of you. 

How in the hell had you let it come to this?

-🌼🌼🌼-

Every year, it was tradition to have a family dinner at your grandparents’ house to celebrate a new year of school. 

But this year, on a whim, you decided to make it a little different. . . You acted on impulse and invited Jake to it. 

To your surprise (and excitement), he’d agreed with no hesitation.

And before the annoying voice in your head could say anything, you reassured it that him coming with you wasn’t a couple-y thing. 

Not at all.

You’d had time to think back on the way you’d started cracking during sex the other morning. 

And you had already started the process of tying your heart back up, protecting yourself from a whirlwind of unnecessary, surely unreciprocated emotion.

He liked having sex with you, that was it. And it could be that way for you, too. It had to be.

The flash of feelings you’d felt during sex a few mornings back honestly meant nothing— you chalked it up to just being caught up in the moment. You had simply gotten far too ahead of yourself.

As you got ready that night, you thought back on the few times your grandma and grandpa had asked about your roommate. You were sure you’d only thought to invite him, because you’d been subconsciously thinking it would appease your wondering grandparents. 

You also just really enjoyed spending time with him. That much you could come to terms with. And, admittedly, you really wanted him to meet your grandparents.

Of course, you were a little nervous at the prospect of him meeting your them (more your judgmental grandfather than your grandma). But, nonetheless, you were really looking forward to having him there with you. 

And, the cherry on top: Elsie would be there to alleviate any weird tension your grandparents may add. . . So, truly, it was the ideal time to have him come meet them. 

At 5:00, thirty minutes before it was time to leave, he still wasn’t home. You knew he had a few lessons today, but he’d assured you that he would be home on time. 

Though, you couldn’t help feeling nervous that maybe he’d regretted saying yes, and he was going to run late on purpose just to get out of going to dinner. 

Before your thoughts could get too crazy, you got a text from him. 

Jake, 5:10 p.m.: so I’m still working with this fuckin client :( 

But at the sight of the text, your stomach sank. 

I knew it, you thought, downhearted. He’s gonna try to get out of it.

Then, another text came through.

Jake, 5:11 p.m.: and I think it’s the time of day

Jake, 5:11 p.m.: but I’ve had like 3 Ubers in a row cancel on me for my scheduled time

He’s really pulling out all the stops, you thought, feeling your chest tighten, anger coming into play. Just say you don’t want to go.

While you were sulking, you noticed one more text pop up in its gray bubble. 

Jake, 5:12 p.m.: I hate to ask you to do this 

Here it comes.

Jake, 5:12 p.m.: but can you pick me up on your way to your grandparents house? I really don’t wanna miss it

You could’ve sighed with relief. In fact, you did. Watching the screen for a few more seconds, you contemplated waiting a bit to respond. Play the classic ‘hard-to-get’ and ‘make-sure-he-knows-I-don’t-take-this-too-seriously-game’ and keep him on the line. . .

But you couldn’t wait. And probably too quickly, you texted back. 

You, 5:13 p.m.: I’d be happy to. I’ll be there soon. Just send me the address.

And within five minutes, the address was sent as you were scooping Stevie some fresh food in her dish. And as soon as you saw it, you were making your way out the door, hurriedly making your way to the car. 

Why am I so anxious to see him when I literally just saw him this morning? You thought, as you started the car, hearing your soul music playlist take over the car’s stereo. Calm the fuck down, y/n.

But you couldn’t help it as you pulled quickly out of the parking lot, buzzing with excitement at the thought of seeing him again.

-🌼🌼🌼- 

When you pulled up to his client’s house, you suddenly saw the appeal of the private lessons. You were sure he got paid good fucking bucks to give lessons to whoever it was that lived in this mansion of a place. 

You were busy admiring the giant home, when you felt your stomach flutter at the sight of him, carrying his acoustic guitar case. 

Though, your gaze didn’t stay on him for long as you caught sight of the beautiful woman with flowing, jet-black locks, walking out of the door behind him, her pristine black dress. Her full ass, big tits, and small waist accentuated perfectly in the outfit. You saw her blatantly checking him out and saying something as she followed behind him. 

Whatever it was she was saying, it made him laugh. Truly laugh. His dimples were showing and his mouth was open wide, then he said something back. 

But he was seemingly oblivious to her glances at his ass as he continued walking ahead of her. The perfectly straight, gleaming white smile on her glowing caramel skin was wide with whatever he said and whatever it was that she was saying in return. 

Your blood was boiling. And it just got worse as you watched her come up behind him and lightly grab his bicep, turning him gently to face her. 

For a few brief seconds, you watched in terror, afraid that you were about to witness a kiss between him and this woman. 

Thankfully, you didn’t. 

But what you did see still made tears climb up your throat. 

You watched him sit his case down, and then saw an extremely genuine, heartfelt hug take place between the two. It wasn’t a quick, friendly side hug, it was a full-on hug. She was grasping him tightly, holding the back of his head as she clung to him. Her eyes closed as she continued speaking over his shoulder.

At one moment, her mouth closed and you saw just how beautifully shaped and plush her soft lips were. She was strikingly gorgeous. Everything about her. 

Was this her house? Was he giving her lessons? Or did she have a kid that he was giving lessons to? 

Whatever the case may have been, you had to swallow back every tear that was threatening to escape as he started walking toward you, case in hand again. 

She stayed on the sidewalk, watching him walk down the steps to the curb where you’d pulled up. 

Right as he got to your car, he turned around to wave at her once more. 

And then, what you heard him say through the closed door made your heart fall to the very pit of your stomach.

“It’s my favorite part of the day!” He laughed heartily, before finally opening the door to the backseat. 

His favorite part of the day? Was it being with her? Fuck.

You turned to face the front of the car, gathering yourself as you stared out the windshield. You were so embarrassed. For a variety of reasons. 

Your hands shook as you held tightly to the steering wheel. 

The back door shut, and you prepared yourself for him being close to you by clearing your throat and reminding yourself of a few important things.

We are not together. I don’t love him. God no I don’t, you shook your head at the idea of that. And he can be with whomever he pleases. It’s none of my business. 

But when he opened the door to the car, all thoughts from before vanished. The musings from your self-mantra and your worries of the girl had dissipated as soon as he spoke in his ever-raspy, sweet tone. 

“Hi, beautiful.”

You glanced over at him, a tight smile on your lips working to mask any worry that there may have been. Working to convince him and yourself that things were okay. 

You couldn’t help but ask. “Is she a client or does she have a child taking lessons?”

He ran a hand through his hair, scratching his nose. “Oh, she’s the client,” he said, his smile matching his tone as he spoke of her. “She’s doing really well. I’m proud of her progress.”

The next question slipped from your lips out of pure curiosity, nothing more. “Does she live in that giant house all by herself?”

“Yep. Single. No kids,” he affirmed. “Crazy, huh? Oh! I almost forgot,” he reached over the armrest and into the backseat to click open his case and get something from it. 

His proximity to you was overwhelming, the intoxicating smell of sandalwood and amber infiltrating your senses.

Please want me more than you might want her, you pleaded silently. 

When he was sitting in his seat again, he lifted to reach into his back pocket, getting his wallet out.

“What did you almost forget?” You inquired, trying to mask your ridiculous thoughts with a plain tone.

“This,” he held up a guitar pick, before opening his wallet to put it inside. “My lucky pick. I always use it at my lessons. Forgot to put it back in my wallet today. Got carried away talking to her.”

Fuck. 

Then, without meaning to, you caught his gaze. The a/c blowing against your hair and face, cooling you off from your distressing thoughts.

But your bearings were almost lost again with the sincerity you found in his eyes, and with the hand that fell to squeeze your thigh as he leaned over the console to kiss your cheek. 

Closing your eyes momentarily, you turned your attention back to the road right before you put the car in drive.

We are not together. Everything is fine. Whatever we are— it’s fine. Stop worrying, you chanted all of this internally as you increased the volume on Victoria Monet, gearing up for your playlist to serenade you for the duration of the drive. Drown out your ridiculous train of thought.

“I actually like this,” Jake commented, his hand still on your thigh. His thumb sweeped wide circles on your inner thigh, burning through your jeans. “What’s it called?”

Coming to the stop sign at the end of the street, you waited for the car on your right to go as you responded. 

“We Might Even Be Falling In Love,” was your simple response, right before you took your turn at the four way stop.

-🌼🌼🌼-

The car ride to your grandparents’ was slightly tense at first, but eventually you got over it as Jake started making his regular small talk. He was the same as always. Anytime you talked with him, he reminded you of his brother with how intent and caring he was about every word that left your mouth. 

But, for you, it meant more coming from him than it did Josh.

Jake was just. . .special to you. And you wanted to be special to him.

It was a relief. And by the time you pulled up to the quaint, familiar house, everything felt the same as it always did. You were feeling better. . he was him and things felt normal. Felt okay. 

As you walked up to the front door, him following you closely behind, you felt comfortable. And when you entered the house, it felt so good to have Jake in tow, the never-changing atmosphere of the home combining perfectly with having him near. 

You were giddy with the fact that he was there.

And it just continued to get better as the night wore on. 

Both of your grandparents greeted Jake with open arms, real welcoming smiles adorned their wrinkling faces. Your chest, warm with contentment as you watched the three of them interact. Jake, continuing the theme of coming out of his shell, as he made smooth conversation with your people. 

As you’d been standing in the entryway chatting, Elsie’d rounded the corner from the kitchen. And to your delighted surprise, Josh had been in tow behind her. 

You knew they’d decided to take it to the next level after the night at the bowling alley. They were becoming the power couple. So it made sense that he’d be here tonight, too.

Everything was absolutely perfect. Elsie and Josh being there made the ideal mix of people for Jake’s first time meeting your family. 

Then dinner came.

“Joshua, I will never get over how sweet it was for you to make the drive to us with Elsie a few weeks ago,” your grandmother commented as she poked some salad with her fork. “Didn’t leave her alone on that late night drive.”

“She is in good hands with you,” your grandfather agreed, making sure to catch Josh’s eyes to emphasize his words. 

“I’m lucky to have her,” Josh smiled in response, kissing Elsie’s cheek. 

Everything was going great, conversation flowing until your grandmother spoke next.

“Y/n, honey, how long have you been seeing Jake?” 

Your eyes stayed trained on your plate, suddenly feeling all eyes on you. You heard Jake clear his throat from where he sat next to you. Fuck. Of course she’d ask this. Assume that you two were dating.

To your relief, Elsie started speaking for you. 

“Grandma, they aren’t together,” she said, covering smoothly with a giggle to top it off, trying to alleviate any tension.

You took that as your cue to look up, monitoring the situation. 

“Oh,” your Grandma responded, a little smile on her face as she put an aged, perfectly manicured hand to her forehead. “Silly old me. I guess I just assumed because you were here together tonight, sis,” she looked at you, her eyes apologetic. 

“You sure act like it,” your Grandpa chimed in, motioning with his fork at you two sitting next to each other. 

“Howard, quit,” your Grandmother defended. 

At your Grandpa’s comment, you finally found your voice. 

“Elsie’s right. We are not together,” you stated, leaving no room for argument. “He’s just my roommate.”

“Harsh, kid,” your Grandfather interjected. “Not even a friend?”

“I guess,” you shrugged, looking over at Jake who seemed to be trying his best to stay focused on his plate, dodging any involvement in the conversation. “But mostly just my roommate.”

For some reason, the awkward air persisted, hanging in the air around you. 

Your words felt wrong. You knew you were friends (and more than that), but you didn’t want to get too mushy, for fear of being questioned further. You were trying your best to diffuse the tension, fixing it so he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.

You were so fearful of somehow exposing your current predicament—especially to those in the room. You hadn’t even told Elsie of your whole ‘fuck buddy’ situation. Shockingly. 

She’d known about you two having sex that first time. . . But you had never told her anything further than that.

Honestly, you’d been too focused on Jake the past few weeks to even think to inform her. It was something that only you and Jake shared and you mostly liked it that way. 

You also didn’t want to tell her because you were positive she’d question the situation. Make you admit things you didn’t want to. Things you couldn’t admit. Push you to say too much. You didn’t need her to make it anything more than what it was. 

It was your little secret. And you intended on keeping it that way. 

Josh swooped in seamlessly, taking over the conversation with talks of all things music and film. 

Eventually, Jake tuned in to the music talk. He’d stayed quiet for longer than you’d anticipated . . . surely feeling the awkwardness of the initial question with you. But he’d played it off well. 

And as you watched him interact with your grandparents, the version of him that you witnessed made your heart flutter. Your senses were filled with all kinds of happiness. 

Eventually, you, the twins, and your Grandpa had migrated to the living room as Elsie and your Grandma went to prepare dessert.

You sat there, across the room from him. You, on the couch, him on the ottoman next to your Grandpa’s chair. Why he’d sat so far away from you, you didn’t know – but you didn’t care. You just enjoyed watching him talk. 

The way he got along with your Grandpa made you light up with joy considerably. 

Your Grandfather was a hard nut to crack. Not to compare the two, but you wouldn’t ever put it past Josh to get through to your Grandpa (because Josh was, quite possibly, the easiest person in the world to talk to). So seeing his easy talk with your Grandpa was expected. 

But Jake? Jake was just a quieter person by nature. Not in a bad way, by any means. . . He just was. You liked him that way. He was thoughtful and kept parts of himself hidden. . . revealed more of himself the more he trusted someone. You really liked him for all of his ways. 

But the way he was bonding with your Grandpa? It was just astonishing. 

By just being himself, Jake was making your Grandpa open up more than ever.

You’d never seen your Grandpa this way.

As you watched the three of them, Jake’s efforts to connect with your Grandfather honestly seemed to flow more smoothly than the other twin’s. 

Josh had even ended up leaving the conversation, going to join your Grandma and Elsie in the kitchen, as the other two seemed to be venturing into their own conversation. Neither Jake nor your Grandpa needed a buffer. But you’d stayed anyhow, too intrigued by them to want to leave. 

And, you just really liked being where Jake was. He made you feel so calm and happy.

You also just couldn’t miss out on the moment in front of you. . .you’d never seen your Grandpa talk so animatedly.

The way he talked about music with Jake was shocking to you, as you didn’t know he loved music to the depths that you did. 

But apparently, Jake knew how to bring out that side of him. The smiles exchanged with the topic of conversation were exhilarating— so joy-filled.

Then, to your complete shock, your Grandpa brought up how he’d played guitar for years before your mother had been born. 

“You played guitar, Grandpa?!” You couldn’t help but ask, as you quite literally sat on the edge of the crisp, floral sofa. “How come you never told us?!”

“Well, I never really felt the need to revisit that part of my life,” he said, sighing. “You two girls didn’t need to be privy to that. It’s all in the past.”

You shook your head. “I love that about you, Grandpa. . . I wish you would’ve told me.”

He just looked at you with his eyes, so much behind them, left unsaid and filled to the brim with an unnamed emotion. A sad smile came to sit on his face.

“Did you have a favorite to play?” Jake asked, looking at him. 

“I did. I feel like all of us do.”

“Yeah. That’s the truth,” Jake grinned, nodding. “Do you still have your favorite one?”

“I sure do,” he looked at your roommate, a big grin spanning his usually-sunken cheeks. “I’ll show ya.”

Jake offered to go get it for him as he watched the old man try to stand. But when he was finally on his feet, he waved him off. 

“Nah, son. It’ll be good for me to get up and around to get her.”  

As he left to grab it, you waited for Jake to turn to you. But, he didn’t. 

Instead, he just looked at all of the photos on the walls rather than anywhere in your direction. The living room was so quiet, you literally heard every breath he took as he looked at the pictures of you and Elsie as children. 

You cleared your throat, trying to get a reaction from him.

He kept looking around the living room, not paying you any mind.

It was awkward.

Why was he avoiding looking at you? You weren’t used to him acting in such a way anymore. 

Unable to take it any longer, you cleared your throat again, harsher this time. 

But he still ignored it.

“Jake,” you sharply stated his name, irritation seeping through your tone at his behavior.

When he finally looked at you and you met his eyes, he looked distant. But after watching you for a long minute, his eyes started lightening a bit, seeming to come back to himself just a little. 

You tentatively grinned at him and shook your head. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked quietly, your eyes searching his face. 

“Nothing,” he stated, his voice sounding far away, jaw clenching.

“Jake.”

He just ran a quick, stiff hand through his hair, looking ahead of him for a few seconds and then back at you. 

You didn’t tear your focus from him, trailing your eyes past his face and watching his Adam's apple bob in his throat. 

When you looked back into his eyes, your heart beat rapidly as his eyes seemed to sink into your own. He was observing you so intently, your nerves sparking to life under his attention. You shivered a little under his stare. His gaze was dark, something hiding behind his amber-brown irises. 

You felt vulnerable and stark naked.

Instead of shying away, you kept your eyes on him. And the more you studied him—challenged him—an urge started creeping from below the surface. You watched him swivel further to face you.

You let your eyes drift again. Down his body, where his legs were spread. 

And just as you were about to take him somewhere private to talk, maybe even offer him a tour of your childhood bedroom. . .

Your Grandpa reappeared. Jake’s eyes quickly averted from yours, growing huge at the gorgeous white guitar your Grandfather had in tow. 

“A White Falcon?!” Jake asked in astonishment, his eyes growing bigger the closer it came. “Holy sh— wow.”

Your grandpa gave a belly laugh, handing this hidden, prized possession over to the long haired man. “You can say it, son. Holy shit is right. She’s a beauty.”

“A 1960. . .?”

“She’s a ‘67,” your Grandpa replied, admiring the nearly spotless guitar. The gold accents practically sparkled under the yellow glow of your Grandmother’s lamps. “A rare one.”

“You’ve got that right,” Jake said, inspecting the relic. “These are worth thousands these days. Especially in a condition like this,” he commented. “But I’m glad you kept it. I would have, too.”

Your Grandpa made his go-to clicking sound with his cheek. He seemed to be agreeing and disagreeing. (Normal behavior for the aging man.) “I debated getting rid of her a few times here and there. . .but ultimately, I decided she was far too precious to me for me to ever give her up.”

You couldn’t help but feel every single emotion you’d been (uselessly) working to bury, rise to the surface. He had you completely enraptured. . . he was driving you crazy.

Back to observing him and your Grandfather, you lost yourself in thought at the man in front of you. He’d done the impossible. Not only had he started cracking your hard shell, he’d brought out something you’d never seen in your Grandpa. He had helped you to discover this bright side of your Grandpa that you’d doubted for years even existed.

An easygoing, free-minded person that had apparently been lurking below the surface your entire life. 

But it made sense that Jake had been able to do it.

He really had done it for you, too. You’d trusted him with countless things. Your emotions. Your body. Your home. Your TV shows. Your cat.

Jake held the guitar so delicately. But his hands were simultaneously strong and purposeful, making sure to protect the guitar. It was so similar to how he handled you. 

The thought made your blood feel hot in your veins and your legs weak. You crossed your legs, watching his hands hold the keepsake just right. 

The rest of the words exchanged were technical terms about the original price, what it’s currently worth, how it played. . . 

But you weren’t really focused on all of the technicalities as you observed Jake’s fingers on the body of the guitar. How intensely he stared at the instrument as he kept steady conversation, his voice, deep and raspy. . .

You didn’t want to expose yourself with how entranced you were by him at that moment. 

So, you decided you needed to escape as soon as possible. 

“I’m going to search my room for something,” you said, glancing at Jake— who, yet again, wasn’t acknowledging you speaking. What the fuck? “I’ll be back shortly.”

Your Grandpa acknowledged you, giving a little wink before going back to his discussion with Jake.  

-🌼🌼🌼-

Once you’d walked the couple of short hallways to get to your childhood bedroom, you sort of regretted using your bedroom as the excuse to get away.

You hesitated to open the door for a few long moments. 

You hadn’t been back to this room since that day in the car where Elsie had brought up the parts of your childhood that you’d forgotten. 

If you were being honest with yourself, it was intimidating to stand before the door as memories flooded back. 

There was the unnecessary screaming at your sister, coming back to you first. And as you thought back on that, you outwardly cringed at the words you now remembered saying to her. Terrible, hateful, completely untrue things. 

Then, you saw yourself throwing objects. Only ever at Elsie. With her being the person you felt safest with, naturally she was also the person punished most. In particular, a dent in the wall, adjacent to the door, reminded you of this. It was something that your grandparents and Elsie had always dismissed, saying it had ‘always been there.’ 

How in the hell had you blocked these things so intensely? Looking back on it now, it seemed as if those things had happened almost as soon as you’d moved in with your grandparents. 

To be fair, you had been very young and very recently grieved by the things which had occurred at your mother’s house.

Had it been a bad case of disassociation which had made you lose these fragments of time? 

Trauma-induced memory loss? 

Your childhood counselor had used the terms. You remembered that. 

Based on what you could vaguely rehash from those sessions, you probably had disassociated to protect yourself from the dark things. 

Disregarding what happened after moving to your grandparents’, there were several other things you literally couldn’t remember from your time with your mom. Distant flickers of barely-there echoes from a much darker, secret life. 

You were apparently an extreme pro at blocking out anything that may hurt you, and times with your mom and the things you’d done as a child were just that. 

Your eyes tracked the old wooden door, contemplating opening it when you saw the hole at the bottom of it. 

Another thing that had ‘always been there.’ But, right then and there, you could recollect the moment it happened. Clear as day. 

You’d been home alone with Elsie. Something had happened that had you screaming at her. Throwing things at her. Chasing her. If you were seeing the memory correctly, you had even managed to hit her with something. She’d gotten scared and the place she’d thought to run and hide had been your room. She’d been so stricken by the incident, sobbing for you to ‘stop, please!’ But you hadn’t listened. When she’d escaped behind the door, she shut it and locked you out. It had angered you more, making you release every last bit of bottled emotion with several hard kicks to the bottom of the door, resulting in the obscurity that now faced you, taunting you.

Then your grandparents had returned home, observed the incident, and decided that you both needed to immediately start counseling.

Without even realizing it, you were beginning to choke on dry sobs. Your breaths were becoming short and hard to catch. You couldn’t breathe. 

Your vision was fuzzy as you held to the door frame to balance yourself. But seeing it as pointless, your body going limp, your arms shaking, you slid down the wall to the floor. Putting a hand to your chest, you focused on taking deeper breaths, working to count each one you released. 

You pinched your eyes shut and tried to think of something to calm you down. 

Long hair that smelled like citrus. Smooth, tanned skin, glowing in the sun. A kiss underwater. A hand smoothing over your cheek, catching your tears. Soul-filled eyes, like dark whiskey, watching you closely and carefully. A body around yours, protecting you in the most quiet and intimate moments. The smell of sandalwood and amber.

But, right now, that smell was more present than it just being a figment of your imaginings. 

You slowly opened your eyes, still focusing on breathing, to find him right there, next to you. 

He was crouched down, a hand on the wall next to you, using his body as a shield around you. 

Your eyes welled with tears at the sight of him. It was like he knew you needed him.

“You were gone for a bit longer than what seemed normal,” he said, worry evident in his words. “What’s going on?”

Tears were escaping down your cheeks steadily. He took his flannel off, clad in a black t-shirt underneath, collar torn (on purpose?). Then, started dabbing at your cheeks for a few moments with his flannel. Once finished, he handed it to you, for you to wipe at your face with it. 

“Nothing's going on,” you gasped on a breath, almost bringing the flannel to your face when you stopped. “I don’t want to get it dirty with my makeup, Jake,” you gasped, still trying to calm yourself. But the relentless crying was making it near impossible. 

“I don’t care,” he went from crouching, to sitting against the wall, right beside you. His shoulder was a couple inches from touching your own. You caught yourself naturally leaning into it. “I want to help you. Let me.”

You didn’t say anything in response to that, letting the heartfelt words hang in the air around you two, laying your head on his shoulder. Bringing his flannel up to your face, you closed your eyes at the wonderful smell of him that lingered on the shirt and wiped your face with the plaid material.

Keeping your eyes closed, you used his steady breathing as an aid, trying to breathe in time with him. Anytime his shoulder would lift your cheek with a breath, you took one, too. It worked well, your chest feeling less tight, the tears subsiding. 

After a bit, you heard him speak again. His voice, causing a comforting rumble against your cheek. “What happened, honey?”

Honey. Your heart lurched in your chest at the name.

You slowly pried your eyes open again, focusing on the light beige of the walls and the way the textured paint on the wall made a sort of pattern.

“Nothing,” you mumbled. You feared bringing up the details of the way you used to behave. The idea of saying anything was embarrassing. It was daunting to think of exposing yourself like that. “Stuff from the past that’s embarrassing and awful.”

“Nothing you do is embarrassing.”

“Wrong.”

He snickered, placing a hand on your thigh. His trusty black hair-tie, wrapped around his middle finger. You traced the long digit, his knuckle, and then picked at the hair tie, pulling at it to see the skin beneath the band. 

Before you could do any more to his hand, he removed it from your leg. You watched, your head still leaning on his shoulder as he took the black rubber band off. Suddenly, you were moving from his shoulder as his body shifted. Peering up curiously, he motioned for you to turn your head. You did so, and within seconds, your hair was pulled up and away from your hot face. 

You looked over your shoulder at him, growing goosebumps as his fingers lingered on the skin of your neck. “Thank you.”

Situating yourself in your position from before, you decided on a whim to wrap your hand underneath his arm. You continued until you were lacing your fingers through his, his calloused fingertips wrapping around to rest on the top of your hand. 

“You don’t have to tell me,” he started, voice low, as if keeping a secret. “But I’m here. I need you to know that. Whatever the case may be, I am here for you.”

“Thanks,” you hummed, squeezing his hand. “Jake?”

“Hm?”

“How did things change between us?”

He chuckled. “Well, it started when you walked into my bedroom the night of—.”

You shushed him, not able to hide your light giggle as you used your other palm to hit his hard chest. How was he able to turn things around so quickly for you? Your body felt so light and airy now, calm and at peace. The foggy memories weren’t so scary when he was with you.

“I mean. . .how are we like this now? Cordial?”

“We started trusting each other, I guess,” he said, all joking gone from his tone. 

“Yeah. . .,” you agreed. “And as silly as it is, I think you were onto something with mentioning the first night we. . .”

“I don’t think it’s silly, honestly. . . If we are being honest with ourselves, sex changes everything,” he stated, his thumb tapping a light beat against your hand. He was right. It truly did change things. For good or for bad, you didn’t know. 

“And those Aretha Franklin songs the other morning. . .,” he pushed a breath from his lips to follow his words.

You gasped. “You felt it too?” Finally looking up from his shoulder, you ignored the voice that was telling you to not give into the moment as you turned to him. Because when you looked up at him, his dark brown eyes were familiar, honest, and real. You couldn’t help but let them be your safe place. That was what they’d become. 

It can’t be this way forever. Stop while you’re ahead, the voice warned. Stop giving in.

But you kindly told it to fuck off as you swam in his irises.

“It was impossible not to. The music and the moment. . . ,” he grinned, a dimple presenting itself in his cheek. Then he raised a brow, turning his head a bit, keeping his eye on you. “But, don't forget. We’re just roommates.”

You flushed. “I had to say that.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” you sighed, hearing them from his mouth, you realized that your Grandpa had been right about your words being harsh. “Didn’t want anyone catching onto anything? I don’t know.”

“It’s okay,” he said, his smile not reaching his eyes, but still there. His eyes traveled the walls around you. You could tell his mind was still looming on how he’d found you in the hallway, only minutes ago. 

The column of his neck hypnotized you, the muscles that flexed beneath the flesh so strong and sure. You were aching to put your lips on the skin, then his eyes found yours, caught you watching him, yet again. He lifted a brow, eyes flickering to your lips, staring at your mouth as you licked to wet them. 

When he bit his lip, it was over.

You couldn’t help it. Your breath caught in your throat, your heart was racing. . .

Without even worrying about getting caught, you angled yourself towards him until your lips met his in a kiss. You had to be near him. Needed to be closer, closer, closer. 

He gave it back, matching the force behind your kisses.

It continued like that for a few short moments, but right before you could slip your tongue between his lips, he placed a hand to your cheek, gentle as he held your face steady, pulling back to study your features.

He waited for you to speak. You both knew why he’d put a stop to it. 

And as if to drive the point home, Josh’s laugh echoed through the entire house— a blatant reminder of why you couldn’t do this here.

You looked down to see where he was situating himself in his black skinny jeans, your skin heating all the more. 

As much as you wanted to leave at that instant, you didn’t want to seem abrupt or strange by doing that. You knew it would be best to eat dessert and then leave. 

You tucked a couple of loose strands, having fallen from your makeshift ponytail, behind your ears. Then, you asked. “Wanna eat some pie and then get out of here?” 

“Sounds perfect.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

Laying in his bed later that night, sweaty limbs pressed together and chests heaving, your head resting on his chest as he twirled fingers in your hair, now loose around your shoulders. . . You decided to tell him.

“Earlier tonight, when you found me,” you took a deep breath, preparing yourself for your next words. “I was trying to recover from a panic attack.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” you said, pausing. As much as you wanted to look at him when you told him the next part, you decided it would be easier to keep your eyes on his SG, sitting on its stand across his bedroom. “I get them sometimes.”

“Why?” He asked, voice light and calm. 

“Different things. . . tonight, it was because I started having these extremely vivid flashbacks from my childhood.”

“About your mom?”

“Not necessarily— not this time,” you cleared your throat as tears pricked at your eyes. It hurt to think about the nasty, younger version of yourself. “This time, it was more about what I used to do when I was younger.” Tears were falling on his chest, your chest was tight as they kept coming, his skin prickling in their wake. “I–I’m sor–sorry.”

“Why, baby?” His voice settled your nerves. Warm. Soft. Him. 

“I hate that you have to see me cry,” you sniffled, wiping at the tears on his chest. But instead of letting you continue, he held your hand there, so you could feel the stable beating of his heart. 

“If crying is what it takes to heal, I’m here to listen to you as you wade through it.”

This time, you were crying from his words and the way his skin felt against your own. He was your safety. He was here. He was real.

He was here to help. Let him.

“Okay,” you breathed, trying to settle your breaths, focusing on the way his heart beat rhythmically under your hand. 

So, you opened up. You told him about everything that Elsie had reminded you of that day in the car; told him what seeing the door had done to you – and everything that had reared its ugly head all at once tonight.

“Wow,” he let out a deep breath in response. “I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah. I was such a fucking demon,” you muttered sadly, your heart breaking as the images and sounds were once again coming back. “And I can’t escape it.”

“Why can’t you?”

You wrinkled your brows, resituating to lean on your arm beside him. His eyes followed you, open and honest and Jake. “I caused severe trauma for others– just like my mom did. I made mistakes that I can never take back.”

“You said you were ten?” He asked. You nodded. “You were a child.”

“It’s not an excuse.”

“It’s not,” he agreed. “But you need to give yourself some grace.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re human.”

“But so were the people I hurt.”

“Who would you say you hurt most?”

“Els.”

“And has she forgiven you?”

“I think so,” you muttered, remembering Elsie that day in the car.

“I’ve moved on. Anytime you did any of that stuff, I moved on as soon as you’d done it.”

“You were in pain and somehow, I just knew it. . . I knew then it wouldn’t be fair for me to hold something against you that you probably didn’t mean. I knew the only reason you were acting that way was because someone else had hurt you. It wasn’t all your fault. It was mostly mom’s. You just didn’t know how to react to it.” 

“Then you need to forgive yourself,” he said, moving some tresses of hair behind your shoulders to be able to put an open palm to your chest, right where your heart laid beneath the flesh. “Your heart is beautiful. That’s what matters. Always has been, always will be,” he gave you one kiss, deep enough to emphasize the words. It left you dizzy as he went back to his spot, never letting his hand leave your chest. “I just want you to understand that people make mistakes,” he smiled, reassuring. “I’ve made a shit ton.”

You chuckled. “Yeah.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, both of you sharing a knowing laugh. 

“But," you started, feeling the need to encourage him as well. "That wasn’t you. You were hurting.”

“So were you, back then,” he reasoned, his voice soft. 

“I guess,” you relented slightly. “Elsie told me a lot of this, too, but I just couldn’t believe her. It’s hard to see the good in myself from back then, though, knowing all of the horrific things I did,” you stated simply. You held his hand to your chest as you laid on your back, not wanting him to move it. “I just can’t shake how I let myself forget it so easily. I’ve gone all these years not truly knowing who I was– who I am.”

“Have you ever considered going to therapy again?”

“No,” your heart beat faster at the prospect.

He could feel it, and reacted as such. He came closer to you, his chest and stomach pressing into you, more skin-to-skin to help calm you. “Would you consider it?”

“I don’t know,” you looked down at your hand and his, still over your heart. “Depends, I guess.”

He hummed. “Okay,” he answered, relenting from the hard questions. “How about you work on forgiving yourself and I’ll look into different types of therapy? Let you know what I come across?”

Your heart slowed down, the tiniest smile lifting your lips. Your hand gripped his. Your anchor. Your safety. “Alright.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

A couple days later, you sat on your couch, mesmerized by Jake, who was sitting next to you. 

Well, kind of. He was on the cushion at the opposite end of the sofa as you. 

All you wanted was to be closer to him, but you knew you couldn’t do that. Honestly, you weren’t sure you could trust yourself.

These days, if he was close enough for you to touch him, you were going to be touching him. Whether it be rubbing his shoulders, playing with his continuously growing hair, or laying on top of him (sometimes naked, sometimes not).

But you were appreciating your vantage point tonight. Watching closely as he played through some new songs with Josh. Josh would sing, and Jake would play the same thing. Jake would play, then Josh would sing it verbatim. 

It was interesting to watch them, bouncing off of each other creatively like that. 

Twin telepathy at its finest.

You were stuck in a trance, trying your damnedest to give equal attention to Josh, so as not to raise any suspicion. But it was getting harder and harder to resist watching Jake– being near him, day by day. 

Trying to find other things to focus on, your eyes floated across the room, observing all of the men around you. They’d all been growing their hair out as well. And, normally, a guy growing his hair out was not a huge deal. 

But with these guys? It seemed to you, it was a visual for their changing life. The longer their hair got, the more it was obvious that they were moving onto a new stage of life.

They were becoming rockstars. Truly.

Not only were they making music day in and day out, playing it live every week, preparing for a humongous music festival that would feature many huge bands. . . they were looking more and more like it, too. 

But they were still your boys. 

Never changing.

Sam’s ever-nasally voice interrupted your rambling thoughts, as if on cue. You smiled in his direction, pointing your attention to him. 

“Jake,” he started, excited as he looked intently at his phone screen.

“What, Sam?” He responded with a slight growl to say his younger brother’s name. “Can’t you tell I’m creatively processing?”

Danny let out one loud laugh, his eyes sparkling with a laugh. Josh joined in momentarily, then went back to humming

“Oh, fuck off, Jake,” he rolled his eyes, a smile still adorning his baby face. He trotted his lanky legs over to the couch, sitting between you and your roommate. “Look at this picture of Maya,” he angled the phone so it was right in front of Jake, but turned just right so you couldn’t see it. 

You giggled at Jake having to pull away from the bright screen to get a better look. “God, Sam,” he said, annoyed, grabbing the phone out of Sam’s hand. “Turn your fucking brightness down.”

“Don’t tell me how to live my life, Jacob,” he responded, flipping his hair and rolling his eyes. He turned in your direction for support, throwing a thumb behind him at Jake. “He’s annoying.”

You were still laughing as you asked your question. “Who’s Maya?”

“Jake hasn’t told you about Maya?!” He wondered aloud, his voice raising a decibel or two. 

“No, I haven’t, Sam,” Jake said, his tone clipped, holding the phone tighter in his firm grip, long fingers flexing around the device. “Shut the fuck up.”

Your brows drew in at his behavior. Now you were dying to know who Maya was and why he was suddenly acting so weird about her.

“I ask again, who is Maya?”

“She’s asking Jake,” Sam stated, as if he’d won. “I’m telling her.”

“Sam–.”

“Maya is Jake’s super hot client that he used to fuck. When he first moved here,” Sam clarified. “Still does, I think. I mean, who wouldn’t?!” Then he laughed, hitting Jake’s stiff arm with the back of his hand.

He was doing what, now? 

Chancing a look at the man in question, you noticed he was angry.

Seething was a better term. 

You could tell as he gripped the neck of his guitar, his chest rising with constricted breaths, nose flaring, staring at Josh, who was simply shaking his head in return. 

Sam took his phone from Jake’s hand, gaining it with some effort. But getting it in his grasp anyway. Right as he’d done so, the hand Jake’d been holding it in clenched to a fist, his jaw tightening. The hand on the neck became dangerously tight.

“Sammy. . .,” Josh tried intervening. His eyes jumped back and forth between each brother, desperate for there to be peace. 

Social cues apparently off, Sam was still smiling wide. 

“This is Maya,” he said, flashing the phone in front of your face, holding it there for you to get a good, long look. 

No. Couldn’t be.

The air left your chest, your vision zeroing in on the bright screen of the phone, everything else blurry around you as your head suddenly felt extremely light, body heavy. 

Surely not. . .

You squinted, taking a closer look at the phone before you jumped to any sort of conclusion. 

But the house behind her, as well as her long, dark black hair. . . 

You knew you were correct in your assumption of who it was. 

The joy that the youngest brother exuded was the exact opposite of how you were feeling. The giant stone that had fallen to sit at the bottom of your stomach was suddenly weighing you to the couch. 

You nodded at the screen, pushing the device away from you, hands shaking slightly. “You really do need to turn your brightness down, Sam,” you said, clearing your throat as it got painfully tight.

Play it cool, play it cool.

You were working so hard to hide your emotions. A small smile twitched at your lips. The tears in your throat made them wobble a tiny bit. 

Stop it, y/n.

Jake’s voice cut through, directly to your ears.  “It meant nothing—.” 

You didn’t look at him, only focusing back on Sam as he spoke. You tried hard to keep your eyes wide and clear of anything concerning.

“He still sees her for lessons,” he said, wiggling his brows. “What happens at guitar lessons, stays at guitar lessons,” he elbowed Jake’s arm, tense as the muscle in his bicep flexed, fist still bunched. “Am I right, brother?!”

Sam was the only one smiling in the room. 

The room was tense, Sam tucking his phone back into the pocket of his silky, vibrant button down. He pushed his sunglasses further into his hair.

You were frozen, not even daring to look up at Jake’s face. You studied your hands, then grabbed your phone off of the coffee table to pretend you were checking it. The frenzied emotions in your gut were not trustworthy. If you looked at him, you were sure you’d fall apart.

It doesn’t mean anything. It’s not like they’re still fucking, you tried to reassure yourself. Right?!

But then, you thought about him taking a while at her house. All of his excuses were adding up. 

Had three Ubers really canceled? Or had he just been too busy fucking her and lost track of time?

It made sense, considering the way she’d watched him leave. The hug. 

And what he’d said to her right before he got in the car. Talking about his ‘favorite part of his day’ . . . Fuck. Your chest hurt, the words making so much more sense now. . .

His favorite part of the day. . . 

Your vision got cloudy. What were you? Sad? Angry? Both? You couldn’t fucking tell.

You just needed to get out of the room. 

As you stood up from your spot, your legs wobbled a bit, your mind scrambling for the first excuse that could come to it. “I’ve gotta pee.”

Still not looking at Jake, you walked as fast as you could to the bathroom. 

The last thing you heard before shutting the door to the bathroom was Danny’s voice, trying to break the air-right atmosphere.

“How about dinner?”

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: uh oh. . .

alsoooo, you'll notice that we haven't even gotten to the scene from the sneak peek yet. . . all of that will come to you in part 2. . . see you again soon, loves ;)

send in your thoughts!! i love hearing from you <3

thank you for being the best readers in the world!!! love you all so much!

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[glamorousdame]

guys.

Guys!

GUUUYYYYSSS!!!

HOW HAVE WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT THESE 5 SECONDS OF DIALOGUE ??

I HAVE NOT SEEN A SINGLE POST WITH THIS SO FAR? My apologies if someone has but istg this is not mentioned much.

I enjoy and I consume facts about this here Sheriff like nothing else because well he's kinda a man-loser but that's not the point. The point is we'll look at these images. Star replied with

*What? I don't do that!

*Other monsters have their own way of getting their thoughts out!

*Other... monsters.

*...

HE'S FLUSTERED? I'm telling you guys - this man has a lot more going on than what he seems to have. I wouldn't be surprised if the mf had some kind of imposter syndrome with it too. It's extremely evident that he does and it's just the fact that he's been called out for having some sort of anxiety at night HELL - Ed said every night! Who knows what he's anxious about. Could it be about cheering up Ceroba, could it be about Kanako or could it be about keeping everyone safe? Is he worried about his parents hating him? There is so much going on in his life that I couldn't even tell you what he's worrying so much about.

One thing I do know for certain though is that he really wants to make sure Ceroba's okay and genuinely has something to do. He doesn't want her going into the pit again and take forever to come out. If she'll come out at all.

It is also heavily implied after when you save Ed/other posse members from the fake train thing when you go to their house you'll see Ceroba with the tapes then mention that Star and Kanako would watch those movies together. I don't know if they were inseparable or anything but I do know Star tried moving on from his crush on Ceroba. Appearing as an uncle or something to Kanako - man this guy is SAD, huh? Appearing as nobody to others might be a fear of his.

I still have yet to finish Pacifist route so wish me luck! Um - Star's dead-eye messed me up so much in that fight istggg

[concert-bflat]

I need to rant about Ivan guys guys I neeed to rant about Ivan (<--- keeps trying to write fics of him but Never finishes him) like God this man is so gay and so in love it genuinely hurts it Hurts and I am Injured by it and the imagrey is Sooo Good (and Yes this is probably me just parroting stuff Everyone has already said before but shut up it's my turn now!! (aka please I've been holding in these thoughts for Months now I must let them out of their cage before one of them Dies)) [Edit I am Not fucking proofreading this I spent 2 hours on it if there is a mistake you Imagined it </3]

Just like,

You can see it in the way he sees the stars in Till. His own hopes for freedom and the only real light in this world that he lost sight of in Till. He is the hope and wish for freedom that he has shut away and repressed and it makes him fall So Hard

Or how you only really see that red in his eyes (after. Almost Dying) when he's with or singing/thinking about how Till has Inspired him, like a fire has been lit inside him. A fire lit in the darkness. . hmm...

even at the end of the song, where he knows full well that he absolutely Crushed his opponent and also knows full well that Till is his next one. I'm sick. I'm so sick.

Or like. When he frees Till and everything is just Engulfed in that red now. How Till has that same fire in his eyes, he and Ivan are on the same page now. They see that same hope for freedom and they both share it. They're running towards the light (like the sky's lighter there, more on that in a sec), hell, the corners of the right side of the screen are literally tinted in LIGHT GREEN. Till's color. God dammit the whole scene is tinted in red and green. They are literally Complementary Colors. I'mmm soooooooo (God these scenes are soo pretty too I was genuinely Stunned when I first saw this)

DID YOU EVEN NOTICE I ONLY NOTICED NOW the Stars are fucking green. You can see it better in some of the Later Images but they are Literally Green because Ivan sees the stars in Till and uuuughsdfbshb

OR LIKE WHEN TILL TURNS BACK?? AND. And that red is no longer in his eyes and before The Realization hits Ivan his eyes are just Glowing with red. Because he was just Filled with that hope. Freedom was, potentially, Right There

Did you guys even notice in that like. 5 frames in the half-second animation of Till turning away he's totally engulfed in his shade of green. Like of Course. That's such a Till thing to do because of Course he's running back he never actually liked Ivan that way in the first place.

And also the lighting of the sky Flips. Because the light has always been with Till. And Ivan's left in the darkness. In the. Haha. Ha. Black Sorrow. Aha *sits down cries*

And Again with this mf's stupid eyes how they revert to just black because that hope's been stripped away again, how it's even reflected in his present self singing as he reminisces on it. Fucking. Ivan's Expression when Till runs away.T here's so fucking much like the irony. Like did he even see Till hesitate or did he just see him turn and run away.

Like the irony that the guy who's always breaking the rules and fighting and defying and clearly hating living in a world like this won't run away with him, who has always been passive and obeying the rules and just accepting captivity and has been repressing his desire for freedom is so Bitter and Awful but also he always Knew this would happen what the Hell was he thinking this was such a stupid idea like

this man gets No Breaks No Breaks Ever oh yeah btw they're facing off against each other in a literal Death Match. That they might've had a Chance of avoiding if they ran away. Ahah. Hh *sob*

Also this art brings me so much Joy as much as it hurts me on a visceral level like. Ivan Always has his eyes on Till but it goes from a fond smile. Like So Fond flat out lovestruck affectionate gaze because he loves this man and loves spending time with him to a grimace once they're on stage. How Till never really changes or really Has Changed, and that's why Ivan loves him as much as he is resentful towards him. How that's what brought them here, to the stage. How Ivan changed for Till and Because of Till but still Till is like a god damn immovable object with how he stubbornly sticks to his ways. There's such resentment but isn't he himself also stubborn for always sticking to Till anyways? Hell, he's singing all about him in Round 3 and loses control over his own emotions and expressions during it I'mmm Guhhh

Also the first image is titled Observation while the second one is titled Decision(? I think). Like mf What are you deciding. What happened Last Time you decided to do something I'm going to punt you into the next planet

Speaking of observing,

Just. How Ivan's Always Observing. I saw one person point out he's like a background character and it's like he sees himself as one too. He is a passive observer in his Own Life. How he watches all the other children in Anakt garden play. How his childhood leading him to Anakt Garden just kind of. Happens around him while he watches indifferently.

How he's always trailing behind Till. Or how he tends to just. Observe quietly and is portrayed as such.

Not to mention how he doesn't appear in the memories of Anyone else's rounds, not even Till's, even when he literally (temporarily) freed him from the city. He doesn't even appear At All in Luka's round even though we get a clear shot of Till getting his hopes and dreams shattered (though it Does parallel another shot of him from Round 2)

And then the One Times he tries to take action. Or start something. It gets rejected and he's resigned to just. Trailing behind again. Because of Course he'll always follow after Till. And of Course he's fucking bitter about it and bitter about himself because he Knew this would happen and Till is Always looking at someone else and that Never Changes but. He just thought for a moment that he could change something. Man.

Oh I forgot to talk about the competitions themselves huh? Wellll, (and I'll Attempt to keep it brief because I've been writing this post for Much too long but)

Till spends his first round singing completely devotedly to Mizi. Hell, his song wasn't even in the program, it's likely- no, almost definitely something he wrote entirely for her, and Ivan has no part in it, just watches bitterly as he passes out after his, er, stunt at the end

And continues to be passed out for almost the entirety of Ivan's song

Oh but he woke up for the emotional/musical climax at least, going over Ivan's most important memory of them together, that's cool at least right?! Surely Till felt something from that

Maybe they can talk something out, or at least acknowledge their relationship in Some way. Maybe Ivan could at least be seen by Till-

Aaand Till's Actual love interest Supposedly gets shot and now he probably thinks she's dead. His attention is turned to her once again, like it's always been from the start. He never really changes huh?

Better luck next time Ivan--

Just. This mf Never Wins and it makes me Laugh as much as it makes me So Sad

Gets hopes and dreams and future crushed by aliens (standard stuff). Sold off in an auction. Put in prestigious singing school and up to that point he hasn't really cared about Anything and has simply been going through the motions.

Meets boy that basically embodies the freedom and hope he used to have. Falls badly in love. Boy loves someone else. Tries to free him and give him the thing he'd surely want most. Rejected. Back to school you go loser.

Oh btw this school is to train you for a competition to the death. Btw you're facing off against that boy you love in the semi-finals of said death competition. And you might kill him or he'll kill you. Because you didn't run away when you had the chance.

Also he didn't sing or think about you at all during his round. In fact I'm pretty sure he wrote a whole ass song that wasn't even registered in the Alien Queue or whatever for someone else. Also he probably has hardly looked at you. Also he was unconscious for almost the entirety of your song. Except for the part where you lost control of your emotions.

Oh but that doesn't matter now because now he thinks the person He likes was just killed. So he's kiiinda gonna be distracted by that. And that might fuck up your round with him. Sorry man

This was Originally a rant about how much I love Black Sorrow's imagery and the portrayal of Ivan's love because this man clearly has Complex Emotions and then Kinda derailed into me just ranting about how many L's he's being handed before getting the executioner's blade. Uhhhhh oops. Congrats on sticking to the end though?

I just love Ivan very much. He is So Bitter and so Horribly In Love and looks up to and is inspired by Till So Much and I wish people explored him on a deeper level/more personally.

I wish I saw more deep looks at Ivan/Till, there's clearly Complicated Things going on there. Hell, we don't even know what Till's pov on the whole thing is aside from that One scene of him hesitating before running away from Ivan. As much as I love fluffy interpretations of them, I (did I mention that I'm an angst addict btw. Could You Tell) wish all their Complexities could be acknowledged. Like how Ivan Clearly puts Till on such a spotlight and it is Such a downfall for him through and through and he Kinda knows it but also What Else does he Have and he really looks up to him Sooo Much (just. Look at them in that official art of them in Anakt Garden !!!) and deep down just wants to run away from this horrible place and wants to run with Till, the Light of his life the fire in the darkness the fucking stars the universe his black sorrow just. Oh My God I need to end this post already I was supposed to be studying but spent those 2 hours Writing instead

But anyways yeah uuhhh long story short? This guy is a gay loser. He tries to look sooo cool and smooth but he is suuuch a gay lovestruck loser and his rose tinted glasses are so thick he can't see shit (I'm pretty sure I quoted that from something (but also no genuinely when I first got into alnst after just watching the first 3 rounds videos and saw Ivan in official art I was So Surprised like "Oh he's actually That kind of mf that tries to look Cool and Hot but is actually just Pathetic and Sad and Gay I thought he was Just Sad and Gay")) he's probably also touchstarved as hell idk and his love is doomed by the narrative (unless Hyuna saves his and Till's asses. Buuut we'll see </333)

Love ya Ivan keep taking L's <3333 mwah

[creedslove]

HEARTLESS 💔 - PART ELEVEN

Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels) x f!reader

Summary: You try to figure out your feelings for Jack and realize it's not a smart move to do so while drunk and flirting with him, when he thinks things are improving, he gets a harsh evidence things aren't just as easy as he thought

(this is the eleventh chapter of the HEARTLESS 💔 series)

• PART ONE TO TEN ON MY MASTERLIST

Warnings: fluff, sexual tension, more fluff because Wyatt is the sweetest kid in the world, bitchy mother-in-law, angst, sad!jack, mom!reader

A/N: Hi besties, I know it's been a while since we've seen our cowboy, and well, I hope you enjoy it!!! I know I did because I can't resist this mf, he's just perfect even if he's a broken sad cowboy 😭🤠

4k words

Jack's heart was beating probably too fast in his chest, it hammered against his rib cage but he didn't care. He was feeling like a million bucks, as he was finally getting some crumbles of your love. Nothing more than crumbles, but it was already enough for him, better than suffering with your despise and indifference. In a short span of minutes you two had almost kissed - if it weren't for his former mother-in-law, and you had also referred to Wyatt as your son. Your as in him and yours, and that couldn't make him happier at that moment, it might have seemed something small, but it made the difference in that cowboy's old broken heart, it was like the walls you built were falling down and that he could approach you, even if it wasn't in a romantic way, he still felt satisfied to be around you as friends, at least he could talk to you without having to break the ice all the time, he touch you - small hugs, occasional hand holding - and though he yearned for more, it was the best he would get after everything he'd done, so it was good, he'd rather torture himself by having his family close without actually being able to claim them as his, than suffer completely alone like he'd done for the past years.

He smiled at you, seeing how your cheeks were flushed because of the alcohol and patted his pocket finally finding the car keys and handing them to you 

"Go ahead sugar, you're less drunk than I am, you should be driving" he winked at you and chuckled as you widened your eyes the moment you grabbed the Bronco keys. Ever since you first started dating Jack, you dreamed of driving his Bronco, but as the cocky asshole he often was, he never let you - or anyone else really - drive his car. There were some things Jack was just so territorial and wouldn't let anyone to lie their hands on, and well, you were also one of those things once. Jack was possessive of you, he liked showing people you were his and just his, the way he would hold you, kiss you and make everyone else see who you belonged to. 

And in your drunken state as you two exited the bar, you kinda wished Jack would do it again. Just a few minutes ago you were about to kiss each other and now he watched you, and you watched him back, staring into his eyes, getting lost in them, and taking a real look at your Jack…. He was so handsome, his beautiful side profile was enough to make you weak at the knees, his sharp jawline always so smooth as he kept his beard shaved and his mustache trimmed. Any other man would look stupid with Jack's looks, but your cowboy… he was something else. 

"What?" He asked you, grinning with that devilish smile as you wouldn't stop staring 

"I-" you began to talk but you had a better idea - well, not really a better idea, rather a drunk idea - and took the hat off his head, chuckling at how cute his messy hair looked and put it on your head. 

Jack was shocked for a split second. Were you flirting with him? 

"Did you forget about the cowboy hat rule, sugar?" He raised his eyebrow at you and before you could answer, you tripped and nearly fell, but Jack immediately wrapped his arms around your body, pulling you closer to him. Maybe you weren't less drunk than he was after all, so it was safer if you two just got a cab to your mom's.

Leaving the bar and waiting for a cab on the sidewalk wasn't the greatest idea either, the wind was howling and you were shivering, and both you and Jack knew that if it weren't for Wyatt, the wisest option would be getting a fancy hotel room and spending the night. 

If you hadn't drunk as much as you did that night, you would be probably censoring yourself for having those shameless thoughts about him, giggling at the shit he said, pretending you didn't notice you were still clinging to him even after you got your balance back, after all, you were wearing his hat, for crying out loud! He was the same man who didn't accept your pregnancy, that kicked you out of your home and abandoned you to raise your baby alone, and once he came back, he just brought chaos back into your life, for several times he'd hurt you, told you cruel things and even threatened to take your son away from you. It was so wrong to behave like that, and a part of your brain kept repeating that over and over, while the other part seemed to only listen to your heart, taking you back to your sweetest and hottest memories you had shared at that same bar and in those hotel rooms.It would be easier if you could just blame it on the booze, as if having a few too many changed everything about your personality and made you forget about all the pain Jack caused you. But at the same time, it felt like you were in the presence of your Jack, the cowboy you loved, the one that was so sweet, flirty and gentle with you. The man that was a little cocky at first but he also made you feel like the only girl in the world, the one who would ravish you in bed and make your legs shake but would also hold you and cuddle you until you fell asleep. You two had an awkward encounter at first, you went on a date with your new boyfriend and Jack was waiting for his own date, you'd been so jealous of him and if you wondered if he'd been jealous of you, now you were sure of it, and that made you feel pretty good about yourself. 

Perhaps it was the way Jack was humiliated by the girl he was supposed to have a date with, the one that revealed herself to be another agent and nothing more, or maybe how he was so honest about the disaster he called his last mission and how things escalated from a fun, drunk conversation, into a confession of dark thoughts Jack didn't have the courage to share with anyone, not even his therapist. All that helped you to see your sweet old cowboy in those man's cold eyes, and when you stared into them, you realized they weren't cold anymore, they were warm and soft and that was when you were sure your Jack was back. 

ou were just so tired of restricting yourself all the time, you were also tired of people restricting you as well, always talking about how bad Jack Daniels was and how you shouldn't let him in. It was your mom, your friends, even Frankie had told you Jack was a dick, and though you knew they were all correct, you felt tired of being reminded of that the entire time, at least your own thoughts were private and in them you could allow yourself to surrender completely to your cowboy, because God knew that if he tried to make any move on you, you'd let him. 

Instead, you felt when his suit jacket was placed over your shoulders and he smiled down at you "don't want you to freeze, sugar" he winked as now you were wearing his jacket, his hat and you kept your arm wrapped tight around his waist, and you felt lucky that despite everything, Jack was still a gentleman, because any other guy would have interpreted all those signs wrong - actually correct, because you did want it - but he knew you'd had too much alcohol for that, even if he knew that once you sobered up he would've missed his chance of having you again. 

He opened the door so you would get in the cab and immediately joined you, giving your mother's address to the driver. You smiled and decided you wouldn't fight your urges, not that night, feeling safe knowing Jack would respect your boundaries and you wouldn't do anything that would hurt your boyfriend - that's what you told yourself at least - and as soon as Jack sat next to you, you wrapped your arm around him and rested against his chest. You were aware of how ridiculous you probably looked, a cowboy hat, a jacket that was way too big for you, and snuggling the man you swore you hated just a day before. Jack was caught by surprise, but smiled softly as he wrapped his arm around your body, stroking your back up and down. 

"Sugar, I was thinking about our little boy's birthday, and I would like to throw him a party on our ranch" he cleared his throat "well, my ranch, but it's gonna be yours too one day, you know, when I-" 

"Don't say that Jack" you asked him, looking into his eyes, "please… I have something to ask you" you bit your lips 

"Anything you want, sugar" 

"Don't kill yourself on another mission, Jack, please. You have our son, and our son needs his daddy too" 

Jack's heart melted at your lovely words, he'd longed to be accepted into the family just like that and now it was finally happening. 

"I won't, sugar… I got our family to take care of, even if you don't want me, you're still my responsibility and I'll make sure you're safe" his hand went for your face caressing your soft skin so gently, appreciating how it felt under his rough fingertips, you closed your eyes, leaning towards his touch and gently placing your lips on his chin, as you spread a trail of soft kisses all over his jawline before getting to his lips. Jack's breath got caught in his chest, his body overflowing with love as his hands squeezed you tighter against him, getting ready to deepen the kiss when the driver suddenly pulled up the car. 

"We're here" the man announced which quickly snapped the two of you out of the haze you were both deep into. 

You cleared your throat and blushed and Jack licked his lips, getting his wallet and paying for the ride. 

He helped out of the car and kept his hand on the small of your back, escorting you, like the southern gentleman he was. You two entered the building and took the elevator and suddenly you could see Jack tensing up. It was no secret your mom hated him, from the very beginning, even before things went to shit between the two of you. There was something she just couldn't stand about him, maybe the fact he was older, or that he'd been married before, or his manners - despite the fact Jack was a polite man, she still didn't think it was enough. She couldn't stand him and he reciprocated the feeling. During his first marriage, he could never understand all those mother-in-law jokes and why people often said they were as bad as they often did. His first wife's mom was a delight, a sweet woman who treated Jack like a son.

No wonder he kept in touch with her through all the years after his sweetheart passed away, until her lovely mother joined her beloved daughter in heaven; but it was your mom that made Jack learn why so many people talked about mother-in-laws in such a derogatory way. She hated Jack, she did from the start, and he had no other option than to accept and try his hardest to ignore her constant offenses and provocations. So now, he didn't even want to think of what your mom thought of him after Wyatt was born. 

As if you read Jack's thoughts, you touched his cheek, making him look at you 

"It's alright cowboy, if she starts acting out, we'll just leave, don't worry" you assured him and took a deep breath and got yourself back together as the doors opened and you walked to your mom's apartment. 

She'd left the door unlocked - something Whiskey strongly disapproved of for safety matters, of course, after all he was an agent and knew people should be way more careful than they were - and the two of you walked inside. Your mom had Wyatt on her lap, he sniffed as she tried wiping his tears, but his teary eyes were enough evidence she wasn't able to succeed.

"What happened baby?" You rushed to him, a sad expression immediately took your face as your heart tightened in your chest to see your little boy so upset. Wyatt jumped off his grandma's lap, widening eyes and a growing smile on his handsome little face

"Mama! Dada!" He squealed happily and ran towards you and Jack, who knelt just beside you and also opened his arms to welcome him. Wyatt ran to the two of you, feeling the warmth of the safety in being with both his parents, snuggling you both as best as his little arms could reach before looking at you with amusement and adoration at the sight of you with the hat on "cowboy hat mama! Like dada and mine!" He said happily and pointed at the stetson you'd stolen from Jack and grabbed it, placing it on your son's head seeing the happiness in his little eyes.

Jack chuckled and picked him up "well it ain't my favorite little cowboy?" He felt the way Wyatt's arms wrapped around his neck and his heart broke a little to think he could have that every day after coming back from work "were you nice to grandma?" Wyatt saw as his dada raised his eyebrow and immediately nodded, he had behaved well even if grandma's house wasn't fun. Whiskey smiled and tickled his tummy, earning the most lovely giggles from his little boy. 

Your mom shot you the dirtiest look the moment she caught Jack walking into the apartment, but you couldn't care less about it, so you turned your back to her and gave your son attention. 

"What happened to you, love? Grandma said you were upset?" You tilted your head curious to know what could've possibly bothered your son. 

Wyatt looked down and then at his grandma again, unsure if he should say anything at all or not. Jack gently wiped a single tear that ran down his son's beautiful face "it's okay Wyatt, sometimes cowboys get sad too, it ain't a shame to cry, but we can't make our mamas worried, cowboy mamas don't like to be worried about their little cowboys…" he tried reasoning his son, who let out a small giggle at his dad's fun words. 

"Bad dweam mama. Mama was gone and dada was gone" he explained "told gwandma but gwandma said I have no dada because dada no wove Wyatt" 

Jack closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, trying his best to keep his anger in check, as he shot daggers at his former mother-in-law. He couldn't believe that old bitch had the nerve to say that. Yes, Jack had been a shitty father for the first years of his son's life, but he was back in the picture and there wasn't anyone that old broken cowboy loved more than his son, and his son's mother.

He gently held his son's chin, finding fascinating the contrast between his big, calloused hands on his son's perfect, small face. Jack's thumb stroked his cheek 

"Your dada loves you very much Wyatt. More than anything in the world, and I know I wasn't around for you and mama and that made mama sad, but I'll always be with you two" he pecked his son's forehead and threw his small blanket over his back. Jack's arm snaked around your waist pulling you closer "let's get the two of you home" he informed, ignoring your mom who was speechless to see you so cozy next to him. Wyatt snuggled his dad's neck and closed his eyes, his heart was warm with love and reassurance. 

                         •••

As the three of you walked into your apartment, Wyatt was deeply asleep in his father's arms. You smiled to see how Wyatt still his jammies under the blanket and how quick he was able to calm down thanks to Jack. He followed your instructions to tuck Wyatt in and as soon as he came back, with his stetson in hands, you handed him a glass of water "I'm really sorry about my mom… I didn't know she would say something like that. She doesn't like you obviously, but we just always avoided talking about a father figure to Wyatt so we wouldn't break his little heart" Jack nodded in silence "I told her you were back in the picture and that you and I were working to be on good terms, you know, co-parent and be friends… She said it was a bad idea but didn't say anything else, I just didn't think she would be mean to the point of telling her own grandson this shit" you sniffed and Jack pulled you into a tight hug. His hands ran up and down your back, resting his chin on your head 

"It's alright sugar, none of this is your fault. You've been perfect from day one. You've been perfect to me and you were the best girlfriend in the world and you would've been the best wife too, if I hadn't screwed things up… I was so scared, I know it doesn't justify and it never will, but I was scared of trying to build a family and losing it like the first time. I was so deep in my own fears that I hadn't realized I was about to make the worst mistake of my life. I'm really sorry I did this to you, because you had nothing but love to offer me, while I offered you the second place because I was too blind by my grief, but now I see, now that I'm going to therapy, that I'm trying to fix myself, I see that I was scared of letting go of her, of her memory, I was scared I was going to betray her. Until I finally saw that was madness, sugar, because she is gone, she's a beautiful memory and I'll always carry her and our son in a part of my heart, but they belong in the past. I see now you're the love of my life, you've always been, I was just too blind to see it, and I lost you, but I promise I won't grieve you, I'll be here, strong and alive for you and Wyatt, if there's ever a chance of a future with you, even if all I get is visiting on weekends I'll still take it. Nothing will ever change the monstrous thing I did to you, but I want you to know I regret it for the rest of my life" 

Your breath was shaking as you look up at him, you could feel the emotion in his voice, the truth in them and the tears in his eyes. 

"Stay tonight Jack, please… not to have sex, but I want you here" it was all you could offer him and it was already a big deal, the two of you knew it and he only nodded happily, his hand caressing your skin.

"I'll stay for as long as you want me sugar…"

                            •••

In the early morning, you woke up to find yourself alone in bed. Jack took his southern manners to the letter and after you fell asleep in his arms, he changed to the couch, so he wouldn't make you uncomfortable. You sighed as your head pounded after drinking so hard the night before, sighing as you remembered everything that went on. The things you shouldn't have done, for example flirt with your ex the whole time, kiss him and wearing his hat and especially ask him to stay the night, because now you'd have to deal with the fact the man was humming happily in your kitchen making you breakfast as a loving husband would. 

You got out of bed and groaned in pain once more, cursing under your breath as you spotted a glass of water and an aspirin. Fuck, Jack was making it very hard for you to hate him. 

The man, on the other hand, was pouring his heart into the meal he was preparing. There were two things little Jack Daniela learned from his mama: breakfast was the most important meal of the day and that the best ingredient one could add is love.

The moment he saw you walking inside the kitchen, his face lit up, glad to know Wyatt was still deeply asleep, so he would have some time alone with you. He placed the frying pan down, flipping the last pancake and walked to you. 

"Morning, sugar" he said in a happy voice as he got closer and leaned in to kiss your lips, but you immediately turned your face away, avoiding his kiss as you looked down. 

"Listen Jack, we need to talk… I'm sorry about last night, I know I led you the wrong way, I flirted and kissed but it was wrong and it shouldn't have happened" you said without much conviction in your voice, as if you were trying to convince yourself more than him, so you cleared your throat and continued "we can't be together, I know you're trying, Jack, you're becoming a better man, but I have a boyfriend now and you will always be the man who abandoned me and our son" you sighed sadly "I was just giving into my desires…"

Jack immediately gripped your hips, pulling you closer, a desperate look on his face, he was hurt and you could see it in his eyes 

"Desire, that's the right word, sugar. You desire me, you want me, why do you still deny it? We love each other" he said, stroking your cheek, swallowing hard and giving you the saddest eyes you'd ever seen. "We can be a happy family… you, me, our son and if you want to we can even try for a little girl, I promise I'll be around, I want to be a husband to you and a father to our son…"

"You're out of your mind, Jack, I would never be with you again, I would never be crazy to let you get me pregnant again! You made me go away! You told me to get rid of my son! I've fallen for you once, but I won't anymore. Yes, I had desire for you, because you are the kind of guy that's good for a drunk fuck and nothing else, Jack. I had to learn the hard way guys like you are meant to be fucked and guys like Frankie are meant to be married"

Jack immediately let go of your body, looking down in shame and sniffed, nodding and turning his back to you. Jack's pride was hurt, and his heart was shattered. He knew you would take your distance once you sobered up, but he didn't think you would regress so much. You were back at fighting and accusing each other, and he was tired of that. 

"Mama! Dada!" Wyatt squealed happily as he watched his mommy and daddy in the kitchen, his small tummy growling with hunger at the delicious smell. 

"Dada, you made pancakes for me? Thank you, thank you, thank you!" He squealed adorably and jumped into Jack's arms, who held his son tight against his chest, snuggling him, and pecked his son's cheek gently, you knew Jack was a fearless man when he was on his missions, but now, he avoided staring at you, so you wouldn't see the tears that threatened to spill out of his beautiful chocolate brown eyes. 

You didn't even know why you'd said that, but you needed to make sure Jack would keep his hands to himself, you didn't want to be a fool for the second time and he had no right to try and seduce you with a baby talk. Jack wasn't meant to be a father and you'd been nice enough to let him be around Wyatt. On the other hand, you had never thought of marrying Frankie, that made no sense, all you knew was that you wanted to hurt Jack and it seemed like you achieved your goal.

_____

A/N: How dare reader say those things to Jack??? Why can't they be together already 😭😭😭😭

[verystrxxwberry]

Hello Alex, I hope your exams went well! I noticed you have recently opened your rqs again, so I had to scoop right in hope you don't mind! may I have my eyes (and mind and soul) blessed with a headcannon of the Eldarya boys trying to get MC in the mood (what would they do, say, treat her etc) if you know what I mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) btw its completely fine if you don't feel like it, just trying my luck! wishing you the best!

ELDARYA; routes when they try to turn you on (NSFW)

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: NSFW not heavy- simply suggestive, TO & ANE routes. ↝ 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: Hi! My exams went decently, thanks for caring :). And of course you may get those headcanons. I hope you enjoy them.

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

EZAREL

It is known that Ezarel likes to be the one starting physical contact as he doesn’t like to be touched all of sudden. When he is needy it will be obvious the moment he gets more touchy and not in very regular areas to touch in public. He rests his hand on your rear and gently caresses it with his thumb, or he even gives three or four kisses to your nape as he is hugging you from behind.

Sometimes he teases you, but he might not be horny at the moment. He likes to see your frustrated face and his grin makes it very obvious.

Mf will tease you and then leave you to go do something.

You will have to wait until you two are in private.

Whenever he tries to seduce you, he definitely uses his gaze to communicate it to you. You’d lose your focus because he’d be looking at your eyes with such a gaze that you’d love to hide yourself at that moment before he devours you. You know the predator look he gives when he wants something. You definitely can tell what kind of thoughts are on his mind.

He’s the kind of person who remembers very vividly your words and reactions. If he knows how you will react when he touches your knee under the table, he will. If he knows what you like by your own words, he’ll subtly put it into practice. So, yeah, you can say he seems to not listen but he always remembers. He has a good memory after all.

NEVRA

He’s gonna make you sit on his lap as he does some paperwork, or as you two simply cuddle in bed, or casually when ‘there are no chairs’ (there will def be). So when he feels a tiny bit silly, he makes sure that his leg is right in between yours and then shakes it a little. Just a little to check your reaction… 

When he sees you getting embarrassed about it, he’d start with the “aw, what’s wrong, dear?” as he shakes his leg again.

He uses that mocky tone of voice to make you mad at him for playing so dirty.

We all know he is really handsome, and he will definitely dress properly for good occasions. You’d never imagine to see Nevra prettier than he already is, but seeing him wearing a smoking changed your view completely. The tie resting comfortably against his chest, a very few buttons of his shirt untied to expose his collarbones, the way his hair is styled slightly different but without losing his essence. 

He knows he looks good and he’s gonna take advantage of it to be close to you and keep your eyes on him. He’d be talking to you and whenever he sees your attention goes somewhere, he plays with your hair a little to keep you with him. 

He’s not afraid to show his confidence, as he knows that it’s the most attractive thing about him. And definitely it is the thing about him that makes you easily aroused.  

VALKYON

Whenever Valkyon wants to achieve something he goes for the compliments. He is honest when he speaks and acts, so he’s not gonna hide the truth from you at any moment. When he teases you to get aroused is most likely because he also is and knows how the night would end up perfectly.

So yes, compliments. He checks you out constantly unconsciously, and casually mutters something related to the way you are looking that day. And it is positive. Valkyon might be realistic and honest, but he is completely in love with your appearance and personality, which will also compliment when you rant about anything.

His honesty can be a bit surprising though… to the point where he holds your hips and mutters to your ear the things he wishes to do to you at that moment. Remember the outfit he complimented on you before? Alright, he wants to take it out now.

He’s very good at dirty talk and more than once he’ll leave your legs shaky at how unexpected it can be the amount of naughty thoughts he’s got.

After stressful days, he loves to give you massages to make the tension get released from your body. When he sees how responsive you get by sighing from the pleasant feeling of being relaxed, he’ll give gentle kisses along your spine, up… down… and then reach your neck, or sometimes he’d reach lower... and you might know where.

He has an ace up his sleeve to fall back on when he runs out of ideas on how to make you feel ticklish somewhere. Valkyon is experienced in sexual terms, so he has had time to develop a kissing skill that will leave you breathless many times over. His kisses will leave you wanting more, and it's a factor he likes to play with a lot.

LEIFTAN

He’s a romantic one, and doesn’t doubt a single bit to show you his love for you. He truly spends time on planning every detail of a date, of a gift… he is able to make you satisfied in terms of quality. But about intimacy… he gets kinda nervous.

He generally doesn’t take initiative for these situations, but he’d try subtle intimate touches when you are in private to try his luck.

The best way to spend the night is by taking a warm bath with him, and if he wants to make things more heated, he wants your opinion first. You are resting your head in his chest, sitting right in between his legs as he basically holds you comfortably. Then you feel how his hands caress your belly and he asks against your ear “Is this alright?”

The way he simply whispers it, in a low and gentle tone, is capable of melting you. He is happy when you give him the green light, and he’s gonna worship you as if you were a superior being.

He sometimes pulls your legs into his lap and gives gentle caresses to your knee. Sometimes he isn’t aware of his hand going lower to your thigh, resting it there and rubbing his thumb gently against the flesh.

LANCE 

I honestly don’t think he’d turn you on on purpose. It would be by his genuine attractive habits.

It wasn’t until he met you that he started using cologne for special occasions. Of course he put on deodorant (when he didn’t forget), which already made him smell really good. But then he started using cologne to be around you. His scent has always been attractive to you, it was manly yet refreshing, but whenever he puts on cologne it makes you want to glue to his clothes and never forget that scent.

He rests his hand on your lower back when he feels like it. He has a big hand and it’s a big dude itself, so he likes to feel like he can protect you. As you walk he guides you with his hand, by pressing it a little tighter on your lower back and sometimes your waist. 

Lance loves to rub his thumb on your nape and scalp as he is listening to you talk, a thing that makes you unable to focus most of the time.

Whenever you talk to him in public he tends to lean a little bit towards you to listen to you or talk back to you. He loves to lean closer to you in general.

Oh, and he is aware of your reactions, but won’t make it obvious. He feels very proud though. Even though there will be moments in which he’ll keep playing because after all… he can also be a little bit aroused around you.

You can see a smug smirk threatening to get bigger as he looks at you. Well not at your eyes but your lips.

And he sometimes stares at your lips with hidden hunger, and you won’t realize until he presses his thumb against your bottom lip and caresses it slowly. He will also use this method to make you quiet whenever you’re speaking too much. 

MATHIEU

He doesn’t think about turning you on until he is also turned on, but he is a little bit shy about it. 

His main card is his charm. He knows how to make you laugh, how to be kind and gentle towards you. He’s gonna treat you as his royalty, offering you his hand or arm to walk, giving you soft kisses on the forehead, saying sweet nothings in a loving way.

Physically, he doesn’t dare to do much other than using his nails to caress your back and arms. He can get clingy when he needs anything, and he gets suddenly distant when it’s related to a sexual way because he doesn’t want to be so tiring with that.

He will even ask you if it’s alright for you that he kisses you. It won’t be a normal kiss though. You’d feel his hunger for you on it and it’d be contagious.

He has the unconscious habit of being close to you, and you’d constantly feel his chest on your back, his arms hugging you from behind… and sometimes the full package iykwim.

More than once he’d grind himself against you, and it’s hard to not melt at that instant when he does that, adding his small growl to tease you as well. 

This is up to the tastes of some ppl, but just saying that for him it is natural to walk around shirtless, even in the dorm. This is simply for his own comfort, and who knows, sometimes to flex his muscles for you hah.

✩; remember to reblog and like to support my content, I hope you enjoyed it!

[guardkeywolf]

Male reader that is 7'3 tall like that mf towers everyone and has a big dog I mean a HUGE boy that you can ride on and perverse Male reader and sleeps on his bed literally

I just wanna see the bois on call of dutys reaction meeting him-

(Gonna be my first time writing so PRAY for meeee, I hope this is good)

BIG THANK YOU to the Anon who requested this!

I'm freaking out but trying my best!

So I hope you like this

141 Boys X Male Reader with a Big Wolf

When Laswell said they were getting a new soldier, Price had just expected a simple newbie that they would have to train.

The C.I.A. agent was quick to stop those thoughts when she mentioned that you were a good tracker and also had a K9 companion that also followed him around as well.

Your name was “Y/n” but went by Hound on the field. You were great at stealth despite having a height of 7’3, but you were also selectively mute. Price could only glare at your file when he also saw the picture of the K9 that was tall enough to ride on.

Price could only listen in silence as Laswell continued to tell him about the man’s skills. Some parts even making him question where the hell someone managed to find you as well.

When she concluded her speech, both said their goodbyes before hanging up. Price sat on his desk as he let his thoughts wander about Y/n and decided to get up and inform the rest of boys.

After doing so, the next day, the helo landed as Price and could only prepare himself for their newest recruit.

It seemed your file wasn’t playing tricks on him when he saw your 7’3 stature along with the Black Timber Wolf, which god only knows how you tamed, that walked along your side.

When you came up to him, Price introduced you to the 141. Even so, his eyes were on the wolf at all times. Ghost, Gaz, and Soap also had similar reactions as they stared in bewilderment at the animal.

After introductions, he let you go settle in before turning back to his men.

“I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS A K9, NOT A WHOLE GODDAMN WOLF!” Soap screamed at him.

“Sir, how the hell did Kate find this man?” Gaz could only question him.

Price shrugged back in response before turning to Ghost.

The man stared back and shrugged before turning away to go back to what he was doing previously. Price let the other two go as he could only imagine what else was going through their minds.

(Gonna do something weird and kinda switch to headcannons here)

Soap

Was surprised when he saw the Wolf first rather than you

Despite freaking out slightly, he really really REALLY wanted to rub that K9's belly

Call him a good boy too

He looked so calm when standing next to you and couldn't help but wonder how you two met as well

He also wished he could ride on top of him like Y/n did but the wolf turned away from him

When it was nighttime, he went to go get something from the fridge

He hardly took notice of Y/n before turning around and eyes widening in fear before hitting him with the sandwich he made and slamming you to the ground

When he noticed it was you he relax and apologized but told you to make yourself know before walking you back to your room

When he saw you open the door, he saw the wolf laying on your bed

The wolf spared him a glance and looked at his owner before moving slightly to give you some space on the bed

Y/n chuckled before getting the bed as well

Soap could only close the door as you and the wolf fell asleep cooing at how cute you two were in bed

Ghost

Was surprised to see the wolf but didn't show it

Questioned how you and the wolf met though to himself

Definitely kept a more close eye on you and your wolf than the others

Didn't mind making small conversation with you either

When it was nighttime and he was up reading, he decided to get some water but didn't realize you crept up behind before reaching over him to get something for yourself

He elbowed you in your rib before grabbing the closest thing to a knife in the kitchen

When he did spin back around and notice it was you he sent a small glare but apologized

He offered to walk you back to your room too

He noticed the dog on the bed and squinted a bit but thought nothing of it

Gaz

Was in awe when he saw the huge black wolf

Like Soap, he was also curious to pet the K9

Thought you were like the ultimate beast tamer or something when he saw you ride up on the damn wolf up to them and nearly passed out

Also took in you appearance more when he met you

At night, he was up and walked right past you chilling on the couch

When you came up behind, he turned around and shrieked

Like HIGH pitch girl shriek

He stared at you for a second before telling you to tell no one

He was so embarrassed that he began to walk back to his room and you followed

Just before entering his room, he turned around and saw the wolf laying on top of your bed comfortably and gushed over the sight as it sleep

Price

Like the others, he was surprised but wasn't fazed by your presence

The Wolf however caught his attention quickly

Laswell said it was a K9

It wasn't a K9

It was a big ass wolf that you could ride on top of

It was like something you'd see out of a fairytale or something

Price could only shake his head as he watched you and the wolf head towards your room

During the night, he was up finishing some paperwork and decided to go make some tea

Surprisingly, he walked right past you and you decided to follow to see what the Captain was up to

While the man made his tea, you came up from behind casting a shadow over Price and the Captain took notice before nearly wiping around and hitting you with the kettle

Thankfully you dodged just in time before Price finally realized who it was

The man's heart was pounding as he breathed before finally getting it under control

He didn't ask what your were doing up but did say you should be in bed at this hour and nodded towards the barracks and walked you towards them

While he watched you enter your room he saw the black fur that belong to your canine companion

He was surprised to see he wasn't in a cage but slept on the bed with you

He didn't comment as he closed the door and let you two sleep but kept the image in his head

He found it cute

•

°

•

Tell me what yall thought!!!

Was it good, bad, ugly?

Criticism is good for me, also if you'd like to reblog please do! It be lovely and do it for the other writers on here as well!

- Guards

[hanrinz]

𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌

⚘ includes — dabi, hawks & shigaraki (the holy trinity lmao)

⚘ content warning — fluff and more fluff

notes: writer's block is such a bitch and i'm trying to write a fic but the words aren't just wording itself so i settled for this :') this is very short lol. not proofread

₊˚✩ 𝐃𝐀𝐁𝐈

oh you think he's good at getting groceries?well, you're wrong. he is that type of guy that would buy groceries and get all the types of brand, because he doesn't remember which kind you like, yeah he's that guy. please accompany him while going to the mall :((

maybe he does remember some of the things you buy for yourself, chocolate of your favorite brand? he bought at least 5 of those. oh, you ran out of chips you like so much? yeah, he bought a stock that could last months — not because he cares or anything, he just remembers, definitely.

yeah, right. remembers what kind of pads you use and remembers which kind of drink you like to drink. mhm, he just sort of remembers. had a fight with one of the costumers once or maybe twice for trying to steal from him the last product on the shelf. how dare that person get the last brand of food you like? (yeah! how dare they) mf had the audacity to act like a tsundere, when he loves you so much ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

you scolded him for buying so much, well atleast he got the meat the right kind, but the next time you buy groceries with him you had to teach him which ones were the brands you use.

₊˚✩ 𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐊𝐒

the first time you tasked him to buy groceries was a disaster, but no worries. it doesn't affect his card for a little bit and besides you didn't really specify in the list which kind of groceries you like. probably bought a lot of things y'all didn't need.

he bought a matching apron once because he thinks it was cute and he really likes cooking with you<33 (even if all he does is stir the pot and cut vegetables), but please wear the matching apron.

probably got so immersed in shopping and took him hours there, he just wants to buy you everything that reminds him of you, it's not like he was lost in their or anything. it's just that his fans were surrounding him and asking for pictures and autographs — he loves them really, but sometimes he wishes that he could just go out like any normal person.

please join him in shopping for groceries and hug him, kiss him, be by his side just to show people that this time he was yours and he can't be bothered with his alone time with his s/o

so, the next one you accompany him he was looking at all the products you buy. taking note of how you always get the milk at the back instead of the front. telling him that it would last longer than the ones in the front. also how you would avoid the ones who are not on sale, mans is loaded please use the money /hj

y'all got complimented by the cashier of how much of a cute couple you are, the lady speaks the truth. the both of you decided that grocery errands are for the weekends, taking the time of the day to just do these menial tasks. but, hey at least he got to spend time with you !

₊˚✩ 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐊𝐈

never have gone to groceries with you, if you beg enough and maybe bribe him, he would. he's beside you all the time, in his hoodie, hands inside the pockets. would wander on his own sometimes if he sees something he likes.

would glare at people who look at your way too long, suddenly he's glad he came with you. if you were being ogled at the mall this frequently he will be coming to the store with you as much as he can.

(he can't have a random npc looking at his beautiful s/o, like they think they can actually have you?)

oh, the store has an eraserhead merch? oh no, you don't see him getting it. who do you think he is? some fanboy? please-

you saw the eraserhead keychain hanging on his gaming computer.

he didn't actually buy it, kurogiri did.

you would buy groceries for the league too, can't have your dear villain boyfriend and his villain friends die because of hunger, that would be embarrassing. but anyways after y'all buy groceries you would stop by the game store, browsing for a new game to play with. would kiss your cheeks as a thank you<33

[mrhowells]

Smallville 5x06

"How you ever had a crush on Richie Cunningham, I will never understand."

I'm actually so easy to please

"And Lois... *laughs* I'd do anything to get rid of Lois."

but thinking about how annoying she is makes him laugh, soooooo... she's a good influence, I rest my case😌😌

Jonathan knows too, like-

Chloe & Lois as an investigative duo are actually really fun

Lex really lives in Jonathan's head rent free💀💀

ohmygoooooddd

MOTHER.

"She's here to dance."

Chloe really threw Lois under the bus like that I'm cryingsjakjsha

the struggle is real💀

SOOOOO let's see if Jonathan actually apologizes when it turns out Lex didn't do anything

CLARKFNKLJFDISLYS

COVER YOUR EYES SWEET SUMMER CHILD

Lois x bisexual lighting I LIVEEEE

they did that for me😭😌

"I'll have a coke😇" ... "S- straight up, on the rocks.😤"

JAkhsshfdlskaBOOBOO WHAT ARE YOU-

I just choked on my ice cream

LMAOOOOOO bless his heart

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL PART 2 I'M CRYINDHSGFJFKD

I'm really not ready for what's about to go down here😭😭

🎶DON'T YOU WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKEEE MEEEEEEE🎶

Someone needs to go to jail for that music choice💀💀

TOM WELLING YOUR FACE JOURNEYS. LET ME SAY THANK YOU KING🙇‍♀️

this is history in the making. absolutely iconic.

🎶DON'T YOU WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS WRONG LIKE MEEEEEE🎶🎶

i do wish she was my girlfriend actually they're so right

aaand she's getting into it

ON MY FUCKING KNEES FOR HER MA'AM YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE PLEASEEEE

he's kind of giving me:

PLEASEWSWKRJWOPQP

EVERY SINGLE FRAME OF THIS IS SO FUCKING ICONIC LIKE WHAT DO I EVEN SAY??

it's okay bb, we're all looking respectfully right now

💀💀💀THE STRUGGLE IS REAL PT.3

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP THIS BEAN

kshadjwka his fight or flight is kicking in😭😭

"What are you doing here?" "What are YOU doing here?"

story of their life fr

the struggle has never been more real, pray for Clark💀

.

they did that.

smallville writers really did that.

legend behaviour if you ask me

i would like to take this moment and say thank you.

"I've never been in a position where people look up to me."

This is such a silly statement, Jonathan is literally the person Clark looks up to the most. His bigger personality flaws clearly come from Jonathan's influence💀 (not to say he didn't also learn a lot of good traits from him -he absolutely did- but you know)

I'm really curious what Lex's (and Jonathan's) politics are actually, don't be shy writers tell me👀

SIR I NEED YOU TO STEP AWAY FROM MY WIFE IMMEDIATELY

creepy mf

"Hey 007. Nice of you to show up." "I'll start assuming that means thank you?"

giggling kicking my feet

"I can't touch him." "Well, I can."

I'VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN, MOTHERRRR

pls his face😭

he knows he could never be as cool as her

THIS SHOT MAKES ME FERAL

my parents🥹

(listen the shit i went through to upload this last picture tho, i hit the upload limit and had to delete stuff, then i accidentally deleted the whole post for a second🤡 my whole life flashed before my eyes💀💀)

Lex talking about a guy falling in love with his best friend's wife uh oh, no thank youuuuu😬😬

He was making a good point though.

"The thing I always try to remember is, no matter how much le lays on, he never expects more than he expects from himself."

Clark really grew up didn't he😭😭

"What are you doing, you just moved back in."

from the guy who said "I'd do anything to get of Lois." at the beginning of the episode, what in the clownery🤡🤡

All men do is lie.

she's such a menace, I LOVE HER😭😭

AND HE CAN'T STAY MAD AT HER LOOK AT HIS FACEEEEE

they're secret bffs your honor😭

I LOVE THEMMM IT'S ACTUALLY SO SERIOUS

"And you didn't have to come after me but you always do. So I wanted to say thank you. You're a really good friend."

GOING INSANE ON THIS SATURDAY NIGHT

CUT IT OUT YOU ASSHOLES I'M TRYING TO STAY NORMAL UNTIL SEASON 8 QUIT EYE FUCKINGZFGDUWEOAK

well. stay normal challenge failed again but that's exactly how i thought this would go, sooo

Question for the people: should i even tag Lex in posts like this? I don't think twice about tagging characters like Jonathan because I don't expect fans to look through his tag for him specifically, but i know people do it with Lex and I feel bad at the thought of them having to scroll through me losing my mind over Clois with a few Lex mentions in between. Lex fans lemme know

[doodlegirl1998]

I find it weird that MHA kinda attempts to say that Twice’s death was wrong, even though it really wasn’t.

Like, I like Twice but that MF would’ve absolutely ran everyone into the ground. Twice had his chance at redemption but ultimately sacrificed it in favor of loyalty to his group.

Also, TF was Hawks supposed to do in that situation? Just step aside and say: Sure, kill thousands of innocent people and possibly put the world into anarchy, have fun sweetie 🥰

Hi @palesweetscherryblossom 👋,

My opinion on Twice's death is that narratively speaking, it shouldn't have happened.

But he needed to be taken out of the story for there to be any stakes for the villians. I just wish Hori had Hawks capture him and put him into custody alongside Compress.

You are right when you say Twice could not be allowed to run amok because with his power, he is a one man army. He is OP!

But I like Twice.

I view him as a more redeemable character than the villian characters that MHA keeps trying to tout as redeemable (Toga, Dabi, and Shig.) Since Twice was the way he was through a mix of bad luck, poverty, poor mental health and a lack of support plus he seemed to genuinely care for the LOV and Hawks which is up for debate with some of the other characters up for redemption (Dabi and Shig.)

I am of the opinion that Hawks could have been able to capture Twice if he really wanted to.

Remember how, with his speed, he was instantly able to capture that flasher when he was with Endeavor? He could have easily at any time caught Twice unaware and alone since Hawks knew Twice deemed him a friend. Yet Hawks chose that moment to mock Twice, corner him, injure him and reveal his hand as a traitor. Why?

Surely, as a spy and a seasoned hero, he should know that Twice would see that as a betrayal and become enraged. He also was a spy for long enough that Hawks should know that Twice would not accept any offer of 'redemption' just for himself at all - especially not if he had to betray the friends he cared for to get it.

You could argue with Dabi showing up the situation immediately spiralled out of Hawk's control - which it did.

However, why didn't Hawks try to kill Dabi in that moment, the active threat and the logical choice to kill in self defence, rather than the villain running away from him?

This is because I believe that Hawks always intended to kill Twice in this moment.

I also believe that the offer for Twice's redemption was merely as a way to make himself look better in the recording Hawks was taking of the showdown rather than a sincere offer on his end.

If it had been sincere, Hawks would have delivered the redemption offer in a way where Twice would have been more ammendable to it - possibly when he was already behind bars and recieving therapy.

TLDR - No, Hawks couldn't allow Twice to run amok with the villains. However, he could have captured him if he really wanted to. Yet Hawks didn't want to because he wanted the threat of Twice's double quirk eradicated.

The regret for this decision as well as the ramifications of it should have been a core part of Hawks character along with him re-evaluating the HPSC's teachings and what being a hero really means to him.

But Hori wastes the potential of what could have been an interesting character / interesting character arc to prop up Endeavor and his "redemption arc" instead.