#I SAID IT AS A JOKE AND I LOVE YALL FOR TAKING IT SERIOUSLY

[kairithemang0]

I love how my silly joke about making a spies are forever podcast has now become people actually asking for a spies are forever podcast...

[iluvloganhowlett]

Omg hiii, I just saw your “dating Hugh” hcs and I absolutely loved them... So could you pls write something where paparazzi are just bombarding him with questions about his relationship with the reader since there have been a lot of rumors about them breaking up but him still visiting the reader??? I would just love to see that respectful man handle all the nasty and out of pocket questions paparazzi go for

I LOVE HER ༉‧₊˚.

in which hugh humbles the internet by addressing false rumors

warnings: none, just fluff!

so my dumbass has no self control and i did unfortunately change the plot a little BUT i am planning to write a 2nd imagine on this same plot but differently! hope yall still like it

since working on the x-men movies with hugh, you two have been together ever since. happily, that is.

however somehow, from somewhere, rumors began to circulate that the two of you had broken up after your 23 years together.

and of course, you and hugh took these rumors to the press.

“so we’re aware that the two of you have worked together since the first x-men movie,” the host asks, earning a collection of nods from the two of you. “would you want to go into detail about how you guys began to date and just what the story was behind that?”

“yeah of course,” you began, hugh cutting you off.

he looked directly at the camera now rather than the host, pointing his finger at it in a silly manner, “and as far as i know, we are still together.”

the room erupts into laughter, most of it coming from you as you grab hugh’s other hand, intertwining your fingers in your lap. “yeah, oh my god i don’t know where it came from but for some reason all of twitter and tiktok and whatever else there is thinks we’ve broken up!”

the host smiles, “i saw that, in fact that was actually my next question on my list.”

“so you chose to ask the allegedly broken up couple about how they met and began dating before you ask them if they’re still together?” you joke, causing everyone to laugh once more.

though everyone was focused on your joke, the only thing you could focus on was hugh’s thumb rubbing up and down the back of your hand subconsciously. it was sweet, almost as if he did it without realizing.

“yeah.. yeah i love her so.. we’re not splitting until one of us dies.”

“hugh!” you smack his leg, brows furrowed close to your eyes in a warning manner.

he cocks his head as his eyes go wide, smiling brightly at your concern, “what?!”

“don’t talk about either of us dying, i don’t like that!”

his smile only grows as he chuckles at your rather unreasonable behavior, “alright i’m sorry.”

the host makes eye contact with the camera just as hugh had, “yeah i don’t think they’re breaking up anytime soon, look at them!”

the camera pans to zoom in on you and hugh; you’re still scolding him about how you don’t need to worry about splitting up when you’re perfectly fine while he’s trying to defend himself but is laughing too hard.

“i said im sorry!” he managed to get out, going weak as he brought his head down to your lap, trying to contain his laughter.

you smack the backside of his head gently, leaning to rest on the armrest of your chair as you roll your eyes, “and you’re not even taking me seriously, baby.”

“and they’re still holding hands,” the camera man points out from behind the scenes.

i guess it’s safe to say those rumors shut down, fast.

I HATE THIS WTF i’m sorry the end is so bad

taglist!!

@velvrei @spazwayy @oatmilkriver @sseleniaa @mei-simp @wittyjasontodd @wolverinesangel @realsimpbitchshit @pickuptruck01 @keigohawks @thereallchristine @zeeader @pink-jello-fish @twinky-wink @malfoys-demigod @seamlessepiphany @withafoll @lulawantmula

[girlokwhatever]

Emily engstler x short fem please please

emily engstler x short!gf hcs

༯✧ʚɞ°✩₊｡⋆˚⁺ೄྀˊˎ- emily with a short gf,,

— she definitely thinks your height is funny

- teases you about it 24/7

— she’ll say stupid shit like “your height doesn’t define you babe” with the most sarcastic tone ever

- she thinks she’s funny

— you’re not just short though, you’re overall a smaller person

- will compare hand sizes and pretend like her hand is gonna eat yours

- also makes fun of how small your shoes are

— if you come over and knock on the door, when she opens it she’ll pretend like she can’t see anyone

- “hello? is anyone there? oh- there you are babe! i couldn’t see you.”

— will hide stuff from you by putting it on the top shelf

— if she hears you in the kitchen she will sit and wait for you to call out for her help reaching something

— “i’m sitting down and i’m as tall as you”

— you both make stupid jokes about the other’s height though

- “how’s the weather up there?”

- “it’s gonna rain in a second.”

- “what does that even mean?”

- “that i’m about to spit on you.”

— likes when you wear her clothes because they literally swallow you whole like….

- her tshirt is your new fav dress

— complains about the back problems she’s gonna get from bending so far down to kiss you

— she’s so protective of you though seriously

- her hands are staying glued on you to make sure she won’t lose you in a crowd

- it’s her biggest fear

— “yeah? what’re you gonna do? punch my knee?”

- “ok whatever.”

— laughs if she sees someone shorter than you

- you don’t know why she thinks it’s so funny

— even though you’re short you still manage to take up 75% of the bed without fail

— literally dies laughing at every. single. short. joke.

— will rest her arms or head on top of your head

— you make her help you cut your jeans or go get them tailored

— it’s difficult to shower together because you have to keep adjusting the shower head to fit your heights

— you made her do the “guess whose outfit is whose” trend….

- you had to cut her out of your shirt

— she’ll let you sit on her shoulders just for fun

- you love it so much

— always giving you kisses on the top of your head though 🤭🤭

— couples yoga is lowkey highkey fun af

— “babe hold on to me, it’s windy outside and i don’t want you flying away.”

— asks if you got your shoes in the kids section..

— she loves it though because you’re such a good cuddle bug

— lowkey you’re at boob height (you don’t mind)

— she’s always asking you to bend down if she dropped something under the bed or some other piece of furniture

- stares at your butt while you do it

— will hold her hand up and ask if you can reach it

- you always need a running start

— sometimes instead of holding her hand you hold one of her fingers

- it’s just easier

— it’s all fun and games until someone she doesn’t know makes a joke about the height

- then it gets all serious

— “baby, is this the mug you said you lost a few months ago?”

- “oh my gosh yes! where’d you find it?!”

- “on the middle shelf..”

๋࣭ ⭑˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚☾༯✧˖°

yall i love the short!gf x tall!gf trope so you know i had to do this

I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!

[breadbrobin]

campfire games

luke castellan x reader - percy jackson and the olympians

[established relationship, fem!daughter of ares reader]

summary: bets are fun, until they aren’t. you’re fine though. luke knows you’re an absolute badass.

warning: pushy male behaviour, suggestive comments, swearing, bets, threats, assault (physical), sexual harassment.

word count: 1.6k

(help i’m writing too many of these but this is the only other good one also feel free to leave requests yall i’m on summer break i have so much time and need something to do 🤩🤩)

(also i am still in love with luke castellan thank you very much I CAN FIX HIM PLSSSS)

(also very sorry to anyone named andrew it was the first name i thought of)

——————————————————

there wasn’t much that your siblings in the ares cabin liked more than winning capture the flag, but watching you tear down another boys’ ego was definitely one of those few things.

campfires were great for many reasons. singing, marshmallows, games—and bets. when chiron and mr d. turned in for the night early, something that rarely happened, the bets would come out. guys would try and talk to you, your siblings would intercept them, find out what they wanted, then place bets among themselves and with other campers as to how long it would take you to tear them down a few notches, or, on occasion, tear them a new one.

clarisse patted your shoulder as two of your brothers talked to another camper. “incoming.”

“details?” you picked at the chipped red polish of your fingernails.

“son of apollo. been here for about two months. andrew. something about wanting to go on a date with you and thinking you’re prettier than the aphrodite girls.” she rolled her eyes. “he tried it on with me before and doesn’t like taking no for an answer, so break his spirit completely. or, you know, his bones.”

you saluted her teasingly. “yes, ma’am. you can count on me, sergeant.”

she patted your shoulder again with a joking grin. “good on you, private. godspeed.”

with that, she left you sitting alone.

well, not really alone.

luke castellan had somehow ended up as your bodyguard in all of these cases. probably something to do with the fact that you’d been dating in secret for the last three months. you weren’t a huge fan of keeping your relationship a secret, but when you’d told clarisse, she told you that her and your other siblings wanted to keep making easy money, and betting on me was the best way to do that. since everyone thought you and luke hated each other anyway, it was easy enough to keep it up, but as your mocking remarks turned to teasing, then to flirting, it was getting more and more difficult. and as he was getting more attractive each day, it was getting harder not to kiss him in front of everyone at camp.

you swivelled in your seat to look up at him. he was sitting three rows back, almost hidden in the darkness, a distinctly put out look on his face.

“you hear that?” you asked with raised eyebrows and a grin on your face. “he thinks i’m prettier than the aphrodite girls. when have you ever said that?”

“i told you you’re prettier than a model one time and you punched me,” he said dryly. “and then i said you look like a goddess while fighting and you punched me again.”

“in my defence, i did hate you at the time.” you shrugged. “got my back?”

“always.” he said seriously.

you grinned and winked at him as you turned around, waiting for the newest idiot to come annoy you.

luke had, once upon a time, been one of those idiots in your mind. he irritated you to no end. he was better than you at sword fighting, so you bested him at everything else. he was more popular than you, so you became one of the most well-liked people at camp. all of your attempts to break him down, however, only made him fall in love with you. now, there you were, wishing you could be sitting beside him instead of waiting for some loser to come annoy you to death.

“y/n, hey.” andrew said, sitting next to you, probably a little too close.

you looked over at him. “andrew, right?”

he nodded, his smile widening as you knew his name.

you sat up straighter and scrutinised him, looking him up and down. “yeah, you look like an andrew.”

you heard luke hide a laugh in his cup behind you.

andrew’s face fell a little, but he regained it quickly. “heard you were one of the best fighters in camp.”

“i am.”

“that’s pretty cool. i mean, i can help you become the best if you want.”

“no, i think i’m okay.”

“come on, i mean, everyone needs to improve. even the self-proclaimed best. bet i’m better at archery than you at least.”

you looked over at his smirk and had to stop yourself from smirking too. this would be too easy. “no. thanks, though. i’m good on my own. one of the best, remember.”

“you could be better. we should have a little challenge. a game.”

“i only play games with people i like.”

“you could like me.” he leaned a little closer. you leaned away slightly. “i bet i could make you like me.”

you had to stop yourself from laughing. “yeah, i don’t think so, buddy.”

‘buddy’ was usually all it took to break a man’s ego. you’d used it on luke many times during unusually flirtatious sparring, back when you still pretended to hate his guts. it didn’t work on him anymore, but it usually worked perfectly on everyone else.

andrew didn’t falter. “i bet i could. give me a chance. let me take on a date. show you a good time.”

“no, thanks,” you said calmly. your siblings were watching intently. clarisse looked ready to step in if you needed it. you wondered what he’d said or done to her to put her on edge. then you realised it wasn’t what he’d done to her. it was what he was about to do to you.

his hand was on your thigh, gripping onto the bare skin by the hem of your shorts.

his hand was on your thigh.

gross.

you looked up at him, eyes sharp. you could hear luke shifting slightly behind you. “what are you doing?” you voice was deathly calm.

“showing you that i can show you a good time, princess.” his voice oozed honey—sickly sweet and sticky, like a fly trap. good thing you hated honey.

“how about i show you how many bones there are in the hand? by breaking every single one.” your voice was equally as saccharine sweet, but your eyes were glaring daggers into his and your jaw was set tight.

he just shifted his hand higher. you tried to push him off but he was strong. annoyingly strong.

he tutted. “come on, sweetheart. you’re gonna make a scene.”

you finally managed to peel his hand off your skin. “i’ll make a scene, alright. get off me and leave me alone. and while you’re at it, leave my sister alone too.”

he raised his hands, a sickening, sleazy smirk on his face. “i was just being nice, princess. you and your sister need to relax. you especially. i can help you relax.”

“oh, i’d love that. you know how i relax?” you tilted your head mockingly, eyes hard. “i punch my enemies in the face.”

he laughed. “you’re cute. now, come on. it’s not like you’ve got anything going for yourself. i mean, you’re hot, sure, but no guys ever gonna look at you when they realise how much of a bitch you are. not like i will.”

you rolled your eyes and stood up. it was time to go and sit by luke. it grated at you, but if he wouldn’t listen to you, maybe he’d listen to another guy.

he didn’t let you leave. his hand gripped your wrist and pulled you back to him as he stood up too. you were chest to chest with him. he towered over you, at least six inches taller. you stepped back, but he pulled you in by your waist and laughed.

“look at how good we look together,” he smirked. “i could show you—“

you punched him in the stomach. he doubled over, finally letting you go, so you kneed his diaphragm. he gasped for air as you stepped back. your friend chris rodriguez whistled appreciatively.

“touch me, or anyone here, ever again and i won’t just hurt you.” you hissed at him. “i’ll beat your ass, then i’ll drag you past the boundary and leave you for the monsters. got it?”

he nodded, still hunched over.

“good boy,” you grit out.

“fucking bitch,” he grunted.

your eyes darkened, but you didn’t do anything. your siblings were right behind him, all ready to drag him away. “good luck walking tomorrow, andrew.��

“good luck finding a guy stupid enough to fuck you,” he scorned.

you laughed. “hey, luke?”

“yeah, babe?” he stepped down beside you, his hand settling on your hip and pulling you gently into his side. andrew faltered at the sight. he probably hadn’t even realised luke was up there.

“are you stupid enough to fuck me?” you asked with raised eyebrows.

he looked like he was trying not to laugh. “oh, i’m way past stupid.”

you didn’t care about any of your sibling’s bets anymore. you didn’t care that people thought you hated each other. you especially didn’t care that everyone was watching. you kissed him. and in front of the whole camp, he kissed you back.

your siblings groaned in disappointment, knowing their betting days were over, but you didn’t care. you smiled the stupidest smile ever as you pulled away, feeling like you’d just had your first kiss all over again.

“what?” he asked quietly.

“nothing.” you shook your head. “just glad we don’t have to hide anymore.”

after months of kissing behind buildings, pretending to fight in public and avoiding each other so people wouldn’t find out, it felt honestly freeing to kiss him in the open.

he kissed you again as your siblings dragged andrew away. “and all it took was an asshole.”

“thanks for not stepping in,” you said. “i had it handled.”

“oh, i know you did. i was more than happy to watch you destroy his ego.”

“good, because if you had stepped in—“

“i’d be going home in an ambulance?” he smiled.

“no, you’d be going home in a hearse.”

“ah, my bad.”

as the campfire kept burning, you sat down with luke. your legs were pressed against his and his arm was around your waist. there wasn’t much that you liked more than tearing boy’s egos down, but being with luke castellan was definitely one of those few things.

[lockburn-castle]

love and a little motivation

synopsis in which yn needs just a little more motivation pairing nonidol!jeon wonwoo x gn!reader genre university au, fluff, comfort, wonwoo being wonwoo and giving reader the support they need warnings terms of endearment, talks about uni and grades (a little about law), jokes about dropping out, let me know if theres anything i missed word count 0.5k

notes: i started uni a month ago and honestly, commercial law has been kicking my ass lately so here's something i wrote about it HAHAHA i hope yall enjoy ! ꨄ

“Won, can we go home already?” you begged your boyfriend, leaning against his shoulder.

“No, yn. Hurry up and finish your work, then we’ll go home,” Wonwoo said, deadpanning as he continued to focus on his computer screen.

“But I can't concentrate anymore. The words are getting foggy and starting to swirl around,” you exaggerated, trying to appeal to his sympathy.

“Yn, you know that when we get home, you won’t touch your work. You’ve been doing so well this semester. Just a few more weeks, and we’ll be free, love,” he said, finally looking up at you with a reassuring smile.

Your grades had been steady throughout the semester, but with finals approaching, your motivation was slipping. To help keep you on track, Wonwoo had been bringing you to the library every day. He knew how much you dreaded studying, but he also knew that the thought of a bad grade was even worse.

“Wonwoo, how about I finish this worksheet and then we go home?” you tried to negotiate, but Wonwoo wasn’t budging.

“No, yn. Complete all the work your professors assigned, especially the one Mr. Kim gave you,” he insisted. He knew commercial law was your weakest subject — a class he was also taking, though he excelled in it.

“You know what? How about I drop out and start working part-time until you graduate and get your dream job? Then you can take care of me?” you joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Wonwoo looked at you and smiled. “I’d agree to that, but your parents wouldn’t be pleased, would they?” he teased. “Come on, you’ve rested enough. Finish up your work, and we can go.”

You pouted and turned back to your computer screen, your law textbook open to dense paragraphs about contract laws and the necessity of offer acceptance - something you seriously didn't understand.

Seeing you struggle, Wonwoo finally caved. “Okay, how about if you finish up your work, I’ll cook your favorite meal and run you a bath with your favorite bath bomb?”

At the promise of that reward, you looked at him with renewed energy. “Deal!” you quickly agreed, diving back into your work. There were still a few questions where you needed Wonwoo’s help, but at least you got everything done.

“Babe, I'm finally done!” you exclaimed a bit too loudly, drawing a few curious stares. You didn’t care in the slightest.

“Really?” Wonwoo asked, reviewing your work with a thorough glance. He looked up, impressed. “I’m proud of you, yn,” he said warmly.

“Couldn’t have done it without you,” you said with a smile, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“Let’s go home, have dinner, and relax. You’ve earned it,” he said, standing up and packing away his things.

As you gathered your things, you turned to Wonwoo with a grin. “I can’t wait for your famous bibimbap. Could you make some naengmyeon too?” you asked hopefully.

“Sure, anything for you, love,” he replied, taking your hand as you both walked out of the library together, looking forward to a delicious meal and a relaxing evening.

[skullvgirl]

acting like they forgot yall had plans together

incl ;; isagi, bachira, barou, kunigami, shidou

warnings ;; fem reader

an's ;; was gonna make this a samu version but I got lazy uh, here hc's

isagi

you text him on friday, a day before your supposed plans and let me tell you he's freaking OUT. he doesn't want to tell you he forgot, and now your asking him what to wear and man could it get any worse?

apparently it could because now your asking him who he should bring and telling him how excited you are and much you've been lookikg forward to it.

he feel like the worst boyfriend on earth and is wondering if he should ask one of the friends that your bringing ( apparently ) and so he devises a plan.

"YN, you said you were bringing [ Friends Name ] Right?" And you can't help but continue the joke and accusingly say, "What?! No, was that supposed to be some sort of joke?"

Now, he feels like shit for even suggesting and is also concerned about what [ Friends Name ] did. He couldn't have forgot that too could he?

"Y-yeah, no I just...yeah."

You burst out laughing and he realizes this is probably another one of your "ticktack trends"

You hold his face softly, "Oh poor baby, it was just a joke we dont have any plans."

His face is hot and he moves your hands away to go pout on the couch. "Stop doing that..you were scaring me..."

"Aw was I? Don't worry, It was fun watching you question your sanity."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better..."

bachira

"We had plans!?" Immediately, without a second thought. And you can't contain your laughter, his hands wete placed comically on the sides of his head, his mouth wide open from shock and confusion.

"Dude, no."

"Oh thank God." He places a hand over his heart.

"Really? You werent even gonna try and play along? What if it was for real and I got mad"

He paused for a moment, thinking over the idea seriously.

"I guess you could put me in NTT for a bit maybe.." he side eyed you breasts and now you were even more confused.

"NTT?"

"No titty timeout"

You burst out laughing and Bachira couldn't help but grin at your reaction. He loved making you laugh.

"Sure, I guess I could. Probably make sure you'd remember next time huh?"

"100% !"

barou

"no we don't. now sit down, I wanna feel my girlfriend."

You roll your eyes and didn't bother fighting his party pooping attitude. You sat down and cuddled up next to his warm body.

"How do you know, you could have forgot..."

"It's not marked on my calendar, and even if it wasn't I'd never forget"

You glanced at the calendar, everything Barou needed to do in the future was meticulously marked on that damned stupid calender.

Should've wrote a fake date there...

"Who do you take me for seriously? Even if you wrote a fake date I would've known."

Oop! Did you say that out loud? No, it was just Barou and his stupidly good sense of you. Weirdo.

"Ugh, you suck, lets just watch" You were frowning but snuggles closer too him.

"Says the one latched to my chest..."

"Shhhh, the show..."

kunigami

He knows you guys don't actually have plans but he plays along anyways. "Uh huh, and did you still wanna go at 6?"

Somehow gaslights you into thinking that you forgot yall had plans. But you should've known otherwise from the way he was smiling. A cheshire grin spread across his face agreeing with everything you say in full confidence, untill finally you break.

"Im lying! We don't have plans, also a Mega Hotel? What are you talking about?"

He's laughing in your face and your cheeks light up.

"Hey! Get your own joke meanie!"

shidou

"deadass?"

you continue playing the act. "yes? you didn't forget did you?"

"say you swear." he's done a full 180° too see you now, staring incredulously into your eyes, waiting for a response.

"I swear—why would I be lying?"

"No way.." he holds his hands on his head. "No fucking way..." he was breathless, like it was impossible for him to believe what you were saying was true.

"YN, I'm gonna be so serious. I think i must be high, cause I cannot remember a single discussion of planning anything right now."

"Really dude?" You asked, unimpressed. He cocked his head adorably. "It was a joke.

"Oh shit, thank God. I thought I was a goner." he turns back around, relief filling his voice.

"Seriously? What if it wasn't a joke?"

"You'd forgive me"

You gaped at his answer, "And what makes you sure of that?" you asked sassily.

"You love me." he said confidently.

"I do, what's your point?"

"You love me, that is the point." He said, nodding his head sure of himself.

"Right..."

an's ;; guys, i think tumblr is deleting my rq's wtf 🤒

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

You're saying that zutara wasn't supported by the writers and shouldn't have been an endgame. That's a lie! and you can verify this, for example, by reading this post. Zutara has a huge support of writers and actors, she was supposed to become a canon! We were just robbed.

https://www.tumblr.com/crienselt/744143410729041920?source=share

I can show you lots of videos of Grey Delisle saying Azula and Zuko are totally fucking (including one she recorded for my birthday), and there's an infamous clip of Bryke proposing Azula and "The Blue Spirit" as a potential ship in a pannel. Somehow I don't think you'll take that as meaning my OTP is canon and was just robbed of it's endgame at the last second - but apparently tumblr posts are solid proof, therefore my argument is perfect and all you Zutara fans are now gonna have to accept that you ship Katara with a guy that canonically (by the standards YOU GUYS are trying to set at least) loves incest even more than Jaime and Cersei Lannister did. And oh, would you look at that! During one of the times Grey mentioned Zucest, Dante said "The Fire Nation are a bit like the Lannisters." See the links if you don't believe me. WHERE'S YOUR GOD NOW?

The creators/showrunners, writers, and lead writer have all said a billion times "Kataang was always the heart of the show and by the time the first episode aired we were set on it being endgame. Some people in the crew liked BOTH Kataang and Zutara, but Zutara was NEVER seriously considered as a real possibility for endgame or even temporary romance. The only love triangle ever considered was Aang, Katara and MALE Toph."

It doesn't matter how many interviews yall fake, how many clips you take out of context, how many deleted scenes you claim existed without a shred of proof to back it up, how many times you go "but this actor whose job is ACTING not WRITTING says he likes Zutara" or "This writer that wrote tons of Kataang episodes said the word Zutara once when writting a scene between Zuko and Katara" - your ship is still fanon. That's not a dig at you or saying it's bad, it's just a fucking fact.

Write some fanfic if you like it so much, but don't turn the production of the series itself into your fanfic just so you can lie to yourself about how there was ever any chance of you getting what you wanted in the actual canon.

And for real, you're gonna try to use the LIVE ACTION as proof? The thing the creators disowned? Netflix's over-glorified cosplay session that everyone keeps saying "It's mid at best" is THE argument you go for? Have some goddamn standards, I'm begging you.

[heartkaji]

[ ★ ⸻ @meidiary ]

selfship event

★ OVERVIEW !

MEI BABY HI HRU ?? you and endo are definitely sunshine x sunshine protector. girly gf and obsessed bf. you know that trend on tiktok that’s like “walk him like a dog”? yeah. that’s you and endo 100%

Q3 — WHO FELL FIRST & WHO FELL HARDER ?

ENDO FELL FIRST. you caught his eye the moment you came in : dressed in pink with satin ribbons in your hair. your personality was a bit of a shock for him though—he wasn’t expecting you to be this loud. he thought you’d be that pretty, quiet girl at the back of the classroom. while i don’t think he fell in love at first sight, i do think he was curious about you from the very beginning. i think you guys started out as unlikely friends : he made a couple of jokes & you surprised him with your sense of humor. you both started as friends and quickly became closer, sharing inside jokes & gossiping and the likes. it took him a bit before he realized he was in love but boy once he did he was plotting on you HEAVY.

if i’m being honest, i think both of you are equally in love. surprising because we all know endo’s the type to love wholly & devotedly, but i feel like you match his energy. both of you are idiots in love & TRUST me when i say chika is sick of yall 🤦‍♀️ any time you pull up to the function and chika spots you he’s walking the other way. he’d rather not deal with both of you at the same time.

Q6 — TOXIC THINGS THEY DO ?

sunshine protector endo yamato takes protection a little bit too seriously i fear 💔 he can’t help himself, you’re so pretty n cute n trusting & the streets of furin aren’t exactly the safest. he’s afraid your personality will get you into trouble. because of that he can be a little extra : you have to have your location on at all times & god forbid you take five minutes too long to reply to his texts. he’ll immediately panic that something’s wrong on your end, and depending on how long you take to reply he MIGHT go berserk.

i also think endo is very guilty of doing too much 🤦‍♀️ i think he’s pretty possessive but without being jealous : he’s the type to put his arm over your shoulder whenever a guy approaches you just for the thrill of it. he doesn’t think for a second that anyone could steal you away from him so he isn’t jealous, but that doesn’t stop him from being a complete asshole to anyone who comes close to you. you often reprimand him for it but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t think it was hot

endo also talks about his exes a lot i fear. i mean, at least it’s not in a positive way ? but it’s annoying nevertheless. “you like camellias ? ew, my ex maggie used to like those.” “huh ? don’t say that mei, you sound like my ex bellinda.” it’s a new ugly name everyday and you’re sick of it. worst part about it is he doesn’t even mean to bring them up. it’s something he does unintentionally but because you’d rather be the ‘cool’ girlfriend who’s not easily offended, you suffer in silence rather than talking to him about it. you hide your discomfort pretty well so he’s not able to pick up on it, so atp it’s something he has to realize on his own.

Q10– AT WHAT MOMENT DID THEY FALL IN LOVE ?

the moment you asked him about his tattoos. you asked him so sweetly and innocently :( “endo, what’s the story behind this one ? oh, and this one ? and that one too !” he watched you with glazed eyes as your fingers brushed over each inked diagram. you had absolutely no idea what you were doing to him (or at least he thinks you didn’t). by the time you were done tracing the lines on his skin he was already a mess of labored breaths & blood drenched cheeks. his eyes met yours & you flashed him the sweetest grin 💔. fucking god, he wanted to kiss you right then & there. but back then you two were nothing more than friends so all he could do was clear his throat & explain each drawing with a shaky voice. yeah, he was down bad.

>> 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓 <<

© ─ heartkaji ; do not steal, copy, edit, translate or reupload

[rat-rambles]

I'm gona explain to yall why I think Stanley is the one that's ace aro in cannon and not Ford or Bill. (Yes all head cannons are vaild blah blah I love acearo people I am one don't kill me)

So basically it comes down to if stan wanted some he could. Young stan seems to be considered relatively conventional attractive (not like ugly men don't mange to hook up but still) and even as a "ugly" old man he is the hottest old person in town befor Ford shows up and. Once he gets over his social awkwardness he is actually able to date he just isn't about that life. "What about Stanley's ex wife's" I hear you scream at your screens well thanks to Bill I have notes.

Thank you bill now could be lieing yes but frankly I don't think his god Alex would let that happen for something like this. Especially becuse it's way funnier if it's all cannon. Now I think 2 of them can be considered legitimate and there not exactly romantic are they. Stanley is well known to care more about money than any romantic relationship witch dosnt sound like some one who's not aro to me. I'll give that there are a couple jokes pokeing wholes in my theroy however personaly any atemps at straightness by stan just feel very performative to me. Like there's something a whole easy to about how stans masculinity is just a reaction to incurity but all I'll say for now is stan is despite to prove he's not a failure and part of growing up in the 80s and not being a failure is geting bitches. And yet he can't comit to a relationship for more than a few days and it's not for commitment isues bitch comited to a fucking portal for 30 years AFTER NEARLY FAILING HIGHSCHOOL. As I said if he wanted to he would.

Now I'm going to go on a long rant about Bill and Ford so if you don't want that stop now

Ok for the record staring off bill and ford are both unreliable narrators.

Ford (my first victim)

We've seen him get rejected twice in the show when he trying to flirt with girls the more famous one being when he gets punch thrown on him. Ford is a very scentive guy he can't handle rejection obvouly he's gona wax poetic about how it's not that he can't get any he's just you know so very busy. Funny how he's not busy when Bill comes into his life or fiddleford for that matter it's almost like that's not the problem

Now I can see how you can read this qa acearo core but all I hear is the autism talking. There is something intently funny to me about the idea that he stright up was dating a male sided demon and is like but am I gay. It's very conservative up bring of him very relatable. But seriously if he was ace aro he'd just lean into being superior not what ever this is.

Bill ( he wouldn't escape me)

Same thing yeah he wax poetic about chemicals witch yeah is something ace aros do but also like incels.

He literally is just asking dear not to ask him out a real problem when every freak reading this book wants to make out with him sorry Bill your hot shit.

The book is shaking you by the shoulders begging you to tell that he's lieing for clout. Bill is also begging you to take him seriously and he can't be serious if he can't even get any becuse he's a unlikeable losser.

Like I'm sorry guys the text just dosnt suport these 2 being acearo this is not the show for ace aro rep I'm sorry. This show is actually really really really obsessed with romantic relationships it's a well Alex keeps going back to witch is why I'm so sure about stanly becuse he's like the one character who actively rejects dating instead of just saying he's into into it. ITS GRAVITY FALLS EVERYONES A FUCKING LIAR.

[luffyvace]

HIIII hru !!! may i please ask for some feitan fluffs hcs 😩 i love this tiny man with all my soul

IM DOING GOOD!! YES YOU MAY!!! I ACTUALLY HAVE SUCH A DEEP ROOTED LOVE FOR HIM I DONT TALK ABOUT HIM OFTEN ENOUGH💥💥

(omg this reminds me i’m supposed to be doing the whole troupe and chuuya x male reader- i’m so all over the place but the point is another dabble of feitan hcs will be here in the future! 😋)

also ooc/fanon him since this is fluff :)

tw: death…and torture (i use “unalive” instead of d!e/k!ll)

alrighty so you said fluff headcanons and it’s highly likely you’ll get fluffy feitan if you’ve known each other for a long time (since meteor)

i’m going to dabble in reader that is both in and outside of the troupe because i can :)

so for reader that’s in the troupe first of all no pda

hardly any weakness was displayed besides sadness/anger or mourning (and some funny moments)

theres no need for cuddles during business

unless your like uvo and simply don’t care

then it annoys the crap out of him <3

it’s not like he doesn’t want your affection—just not in public

will cuddle you in private tho

y’all usually sit there in silence or read together

he can be a little spoon or big spoon it doesn’t bother him

he tries his best but he’s never let anyone else so close to him before

if you introduce something to him and he likes it he’ll do it back

because why would you do it to him if you wouldn’t want it done to you right?

im gonna assume you have either a apartment which you unalived the owner of or y’all live in meteor still

he’ll let you choose really he doesn’t care where you stay

he’d even unalive a high status person to steal their mansion if that’s what you want

your obviously strong and have some sort of nen if your in the troupe so he doesn’t bother worrying

although if your like kortopi he’ll stay vigilant for you

even though you can use nen to defend yourself as well

btw if your not a pda person the troupe is grateful

aint no body wanna see allat-

he doesn’t know how to cook or clean and since your both from meteor so i hope you learn or already know how

otherwise y’all eat what y’all can when y’all can

whether you steal a five star gourmet meal or just wait for the next opportunity like a vending machine

i don’t advise you ask for a pet by the way

he’ll tortu£ it and i’m not talking about strapping it down or anything

just purely scarring them 😭

if you be firm about him stopping he will

unless it’s a big scary dog or smth

then he’s more likely to take em under his wing and train them to be vicious

will scare people with said animal

for stay at home reader…. (most of these also apply for troupe reader<3)

i say stay at home bc with his portion of money you could buy anything you want

if you tell him what you want u can get it for free cuz he steals it

but

if you want to take a bath together it would take more than a god to convince him

seriously he sees no reason in it

once you do tho

at first he is on one end of the tub and your on the other

as time goes on he’ll let you lean back into his chest as he scrubs your hair

he lets you play in his hair

don’t tell ANYONE

he don’t like vulnerability so if you tell someone he won’t do it for like 2 weeks

you think he’s never gonna do it again until you crawl into his lap while he’s reading on the bed and ask really sweetly

he’s all yours after that

HIS HAIR IS SO FLUFFY!!

and yes he lets you play with it :)

you get to put it into all types of styles!!

especially since it’s a decent length!

not really interested in playing in your hair

he tries but the rubber band always ends up tangled in your hair

if you kiss him goodnight he will start to initiate it as well

thats one thing he will forever reciprocate

loves your humor

no matter the type

but he especially loves when you laugh at his dark jokes

youve seen him smile before 💖

warms your heart knowing no one else gets this side of him

not judgmental of your looks for obvious reasons

yall got bigger problems

dismisses anytime you degrade yourself

he be speaking facts

”the way your hair looks gonna unalive you?”

”your pimples will st^b you while sleeping?”

no? you goofy goober so why does it matter

don’t argue him on this

genuinely doesn’t like the idea of you being hurt

by him or someone else

dont expect anyone who does harm to you to see the tomorrow sun

even if you plead for them don’t waste your breath pleading you need to be saying goodbye

real loyal partner

as loyal to you as he is the troupe

you and the troupe are his forever commitments

no matter what he could never stop loving you

you guys practically never argue

hes not necessarily hotheaded but will say what’s on his mind and if someone disagrees he does it anyway

thing is he compensates with you💗

if he knows your nitpicking he ignores it but if it’s genuinely something you don’t like he won’t fight it

also he cleans up well if you don’t like to see blood/gore in your place after he’s done t•rturing someone

he respects and listens to your opinions and feelings

would love if your a sadistic person as well but he understands if your not

also if your not in the troupe he teaches you nen

only the troupe knows your together and where you stay for your safety

your safety is definitely on his priority list

truly cares about and loves you

enjoy!!!! i’ll prob come back and read my own hcs bc I LOVE HIM

thank you for this request i loved writing every letter of it♡

[isackwhy]

Please do write them in the apocalypse it would be funny and i know it🙏

okay….y’all convinced me….

tgc boy’s in an apocalypse hc’s (kinda x reader)

isaacwhy

i think he’d survive pretty fucking long dare i say

resourceful

also strong so

and he knows how to shoot guns apparently

if u didn’t know how he’d 100% show u

kills snakes and yells at the ppl who complain that’s for dinner

“SOFT HANDS. YALL GOT SOFT HANDS”

def the type to speak to the walkers like they’re human before killing them

“oh brother you look like shit”

saves u extra food

tries to take the role of leader

gets shot down immediately

accidentally fucks around and finds out

like he does some shit couldn’t do legally beforehand and gets like mildly hurt

really observant over like u and the guys

listens for every sound

bigt

doesn’t take this shit seriously 9/10 times

finds a bandanna and it becomes his thing

“hey larry, do i look cool?” as he holds up an smg he stole off a dead guy

the one that cracks jokes even after a whole horde nearly killed y’all

“well—at least it wasn’t a close call”

it was.

will tend to u before anyone else

cooks up random ass shit w random ass shit and will eat it happily

gathers the items

tries to open a shop and basically gets told to go fuck himself

would try and use a spear

fails miserably

larrycroft

has the devious plans to get y’all out of sticky situations

sometimes u can’t tell if he’s being deadass bc they’re so odd until he does said plan

wants to die bc of how much of a picky eater he is and how he has like no choice to eat it

sleeps in trees above yall

will steal u clothes and jewelry

would somehow find an mp3 player and it becomes yalls godsend

tells stories near the fire

the small but mighty type

like will sneak up on people and kill (if needed)

tries to eat random berries

do not let him eat the random berries .

will pretend he knows what they are

he doesn’t.

him and tanner bring back random ass shit to decorate ur base w (if u have one idk)

softwilly

also tried to make himself leader.

not happening.

there’s no leader

went to school for chemistry so i imagine he’s good at making that kind of stuff

does know which berries to eat

brings bento w him

“bet ur missing ur vape right now isaac”

“i fucking hate u”

makes all the traps for like walkers and animals

complains every time u sleep in the woods

is adamant on when to switch watch shifts

like will shake u from a slumber if it’s ur turn

feel like he’d use a pistol idk

subconsciously handles most of the confrontations w ppl w isaac

freaks out when y’all don’t have somewhat clear water

and still wants to be as clean as possible so he will disappear to bathe in a lake if possible

loves surprising u w random shit he found as a little gift

yumi

sniper. and a good sniper too

maybe siege influenced him idk

kinda takes it the most seriously

“guys. enough. we don’t know what could be in here”

makes sure the rations are even smh

steals random leaves to pretend they’re weed and pretends to roll them for u

but would also steal flowers for u

“i’m done walking. there’s a building there”

somehow still dripped out

found a fanny bag and it’s his prized possession

doesn’t take shit from anyone

probably will curse a guy out and end up in a fight

that’s all my brain got got now

[mwahmwahkissesdarling]

My A'aru, My Heaven

Pairing: Ahkmenrah x Fem/Maybe Genderfluid Reader

Summary: A taste testing night with a sprinkle of love (and religion ig)

Warnings: Kissing, fluff, extreme fluff, err fluff, more fluff, Cussing maybe, spelling and grammar mistakes, controversial topic, religion, me writing Christianity as someone who is not Christian, uhhh lmk if i need to put any other warnings???? idk

Note: yall the ahkmenrah brain rot is ... rotting? my brain? so hard

Alsooooooo this is my first fic (on this acc, posted anyway) so be easy

*A'aru is the Egyptian equivalent of Heaven for Christians <33 #wikipedia

You rip open a colorful package and hand it to Ahkmenrah.

"Here, these are gummy worms."

The Pharoah looked alarmed. "You eat…worms?"

You laugh. "Theyre not real worms. Here, just try one."

Ahk glances at you, unconvinced, but he takes a red and blue gummy in between his fingers and nibbles at it.

"Hm."

"Well?" You bit into yours and watched his reaction.

He shrugs. "Theyre… enjoyable, I suppose, but I don't prefer them myself."

You grin. "Yeah, me niether, I just wanted to see what you thought." You turn in your criss-cross-applesauce position on the floor in Ahkmen's exhibit to pick out a new candy and come back with two tin wrapped chocolate pieces. Picking one out, you hand it to him. "Have a Kiss," you joke.

Ahk stares at the candy in his hand, then back at you. "S-sorry?"

You look back at him, then realizing he wouldn't know the name of this candy, you laugh. "It's the name of the candy. Hershey Kisses." He slowly smiles. "Well, I wouldn't say no to a kiss, either." You roll your eyes. "Seriously-"

Ahk cuts you off with his lips. You lean into the kiss, setting your 'Kiss' down and running your hands up his torso and into his hair, letting your fingers tangle there. He cups your face with one hand and places the other on his sarcophagus case behind you, pressing you against it. You let him, knowing he usually doesn't take control like this.

After a moment, Ahk breaks away and breaths heavily, catching his breath.

"Do I really take away your breath that bad?" You joke, panting.

He runs his thumb against your bottom lip, his eyes flitting between your lips and your eyes. "Yes," He says simply. "You do."

You feel yourself blush and you smile. "Love you too, Ahk," was all you could get out.

Ahk smiles back and brushes his lips against your temple, then leans back, letting you have your space to continue taste-testing modern candy.

You resume your earlier position and cross your legs, pressing your knee against his as you grab your Hersheys. "Come on, eat it."

He groans but takes it and unwraps it with your guidance. He pops it into his mouth and his eyes widen.

You grin at him. "Right? Personally I prefer caramel with my chocolate, but I figured start small, y'know?"

Ahk slowly chews it. "Holy Ra. This is chocolate?" His mouth is still full, and you giggle at his bad manners. "Don't talk with your mouth full. Come on, King Ahkmenrah, fourth king of the fourth kingdom of Egypt and all things fancy, have better manners." You tease and pause. "But yeah, it's chocolate. Although I'd describe it as heaven."

The Pharoah glanced at you, opening another Hershey. "I thought you said that was a place."

You nod, taking the Kiss out of his hands, throwing in the air, and catching it with your mouth. "Yeah. The place that Christians beleive is the perfect afterlife."

Ahk glares at you but otherwise ignores your theft. "You cant call a taste or an object heaven, then. It'd go against grammar rules and the belief of a Chrisin."

Swallowing, you shrug. "First of all, it's Christian, second of all, I don't think they care anymore, although don't quote me on that. My ma's Christian, and she refers to my mother as heaven."

He frowns, thinking. "So, you can call your other half 'heaven'?"

"Some people do," you pause. "Well. I've only ever heard it from my parents, and also Bruno Mars, but I think if someone says it in public, it's considered PDA. Public displays of affection." You reply to his confused look.

Ahk nods. "And thats… frowned upon." You make an "eh" sound. "Well, people don't particularly like it, but it's not as bad as, like, racism or something. Far from it." You scoff.

"So, for a… hypothetical example… I could call you heaven, but only in… private."

You turn and stare at him, a blush forming "W-well, yes, I-"

He kisses you, effectively shutting you up. You lose all train of thought, lost in his touch. He pulls you close, practically onto his lap before pulling away.

"You're my heaven." Ahk smiles at you, and you smile back.

"And you're my A'aru."

Your Pharoah, your king, your Ahk, your little slice of heaven, in your little corner of home.

[misshoneysplayhouse]

Wine Pon You| h.zoe

since the new episode has us hange fans in distress, i have to bless you all with this, i cant get them out of my head and ofc you know i'm higher than a horse dick rn so enjoy, i'm so glad i'm attracting more hange lovers to my page I love yall frl.

song list for this cuz.....babyyyyy my playlist did justice fa meeeee

Remember You- By Wiz Khalifa ft the Weeknd

Wine Pon You- By Doja Cat

Too Deep- dvsn

CW: dom!hange, thigh riding, oral(f!receiving) orgasm denial, backshots pet names (Princess, doll, pretty girl) spitting is mentioned dacryphilia, overstimulation, fingering, riding and just nasty talking in general, Hange is very vocal

The sounds of heels could be heard behind you, there were girls frantically running around, drenched in anticipation as the big news flooded through the locker room. You could be found in front of your vanity mirror, brushing the finishing touches and making sure your outfit was on just right.

Being a stripper wasn't exactly the life path you had set course for but the fast money became addicting, almost making close to 1 to 2,000 dollars a night, the endless drinks and hot ass people with pockets heavier than the smoke in the building, you couldn't stop now.

But tonight was big, Eren the club's owner had told the you all that the city's biggest bachelor Levi was gonna be in the building along with his whole entourage and that he needed the baddest heifers on the floor!

When he mentioned that, you instantly came to mind, you were a fan favorite in the club which caused a lot of drama to stir up in the lockerroom. That included the ugly stares, the pathetic attempts to steal and take from your money pile, and one thing you didn't play about was your money!

Getting up from the mirror you looked at the text Eren had sent saying to meet him in his office so you snuck your money bag behind it and switched your way up the stairs, hearing the teeth sucking and smart ass remarks from the other girls.

"There she is, my pretty little money maker.." He smiles, watching your body walk in, eyes flickering towards your chest.

"You called me up here for what? It better not be what I think it is." You spoke with a smile, rolling your eyes.

"No good luck kiss tonight, got it." He laughed. "But no, I just learned that Hange, the CEO of Zoe Productions is gonna be with Levi tonight and instead of putting your focus on him, I want you on Hange." He begins, pulling the blunt hanging on his ear to light it.

"Hange? I've never heard of them so they can't be that big." You joked.

"Oh but they are, so don't half ass, they aren't some old geezer- matter of fact, I'll let you see for your own eyes, they just pull up." He smirks, looking at his phone while smokes blows from his nose.

"Yeah, yeah i guess i'll be the judge of them." You chuckle, not taking a single word he said seriously.

He follows you out of his office while you turned one way and he went the other, there were already rumors of you and him fucking and messing around so you didn't want to be caught coming out of his office together to fuel the fire.

the music blasted throughout the building as yoou walked around, skimming the area to find the so called CEO so you could get a good idea on how to drain their pockets dry. The place was packed but you expected nothing less on a Friday night.

After spending a minute too long looking for them, you decided to rack up a few small lap dances in the meantime, you saw one of your coworkers heading towards a huge group of people but you couldn't make out the surprisingly tall figure.

That's when you felt an arm pull you away from the huge crowd, you recognized the cologne and sucked your teeth when you made eye contact with Eren.

"The hell you yanking me up like a toddler for?"

"I don't have time for the complaints, I need you on stage, Sasha sprained her ankle and all the girls are stuck on trying to get into Levi's section. You know how to make a show.." He pleaded.

"Hange will get a better look at you on stage, which will definitely make them call you to the champagne room, and that's the kinda money we need tonight." He went on.

You started to ponder for a slight second, finally agreeing to step on the stage, you weren't foreign to the stage since that's how you started out, you grew your fanbase from it so tonight wouldn't be any different.

I'm currently playing Remember You by Wiz Khalifa and The Weeknd, and umm..I just came everywhere..it'll definitely enhance this whole scene

"If i could have yall's attention,I have a beautiful woman coming out to peform and I want all eyes to the stage, she needs no introduction and hopefully she'll show me a thing or two tonight after this.." Connie starts in the mic, lowering the music.

"Coming to the stage, The devious Miss(S/N)!"

The music flooded your ears as Connie had the speakers in the building at max, the bass thudding through your chest and the lights dimmed to show a cool purple LED like light behind you, almost like the people were watching your shadow.

You started your set, slow and sinfully teasing the crowd by starting on the floor of the stage, you could feel a certain set of eyes on your body out of the hundreds of eyes on you. It felt hot, almost burning with pleasure and you wanted to find its source.

You hooked your leg around the pole, twirling around and climbing up to continue on with your set, spreading your legs wide as you spun around.

The feeling of the bills falling on your skin was like your own personal drug, and tonight you felt as if you were in a shower, yeah Fridays night were packed but this felt off. You dropped down from the pole into a split looking into the crowd, that's when you found the burning eyes staring a hole in you.

Hange.

Wearing a grey suit with the jacket hanging on their shoulders, a black wife beater with a single link gold chain hanging from their neck and a cigar between their slender fingers. You expected some old, 50 year old with a few strands of hair on their head, your mind scrambled up once your eyes connected with theirs.

They were leaning back in the chair, legs spread apart like a slut and their hair in half up half down style. They push up their glasses with their middle finger, adjusting their sitting position by pushing their hips up, leaning forwards towards the stage.

You took this opportunity to "interact" with your fans, crawling towards them to get a better look at what you were dealing with. You've dealt with attractive customers before but this might need a bit more self control.

They had a scar on the left eye, slashing through their eye brow and pretty rings decorated on theirs fingers, you notice them pull out a big band of cash, pulling out a 100 dollar bill and slipping it in your bralette.

You bite your lip, taking the bill and sliding it down to put it on the side of your thong, they take another bill and place it on the other side watching your body move as you went to the other side. You couldn't linger for long or show too much favoritism, no matter how good they looked, your only mission was to tease them long enough to get them in the room.

Once you finished up the lights went back to black and you rushed backstage all the way to the locker room to change and freshen up, you wet up your bottoms on stage and because you knew it was a matter of time before Hange requested you.

You chose a green outfit this time with your breasts sitting out perfectly and the tallest heels you could walk in, heading back into the crowd.

Right on cue, Eren comes up to send you the back and usually you were quick to go ahead and get it over with but you hesitated for a second.

"Whatever happens in the champagne room stays in the champagne room" was the sign that hung over the hallway of the rooms, you could feel two heartbeats colliding with each other as you found the number of the room. You had to get yourself together, this was just another client, another business person to drain and nothing to get yourself worked up on.

But all of your common sense flew out of the window as you walked inside. They were standing tall, pouring two glasses of champagne and handing one to you as you closed the door.

"Thank you.." You said, following them as they called you over with one finger.

"I've heard so much about you..I needed to see for myself if all the talk was true.." They started as they patted their lap, signaling you to straddle them.

You obeyed as you took a sip from your glass, a small smirk forming in the corner of your lips.

"Funny enough, I haven't heard much about you, is that intentional?" You asked, pretending to adjust yourself as you felt a bulge right on your core, you mentally widened your eyes since you weren't expecting them to be this hard.

"For my line of work it is, from what the public knows I own a movie production studio, and that's all they need to know." They smirked, their thumb in the crease of your thighs and their fingers on your ass pushing your hips to slightly create friction

"So you do porn?" You said, adding everything together while still subconsciously bucking your hips a little faster, hoping they wouldn't notice but it looked a little too late.

"And I'm looking at my new project as we speak.." They smirked, finishing the glass with their eyes slowly fucking your body while pushing their hips up, making you gasp.

"I'm not doing anything I don't get paid for.." You spat, looking directly into their eyes, both of your faces just inches away.

"You don't have to worry about that, I'd personally pay you...you wouldn't be fucking anyone doll, you'd be fucking me...I want you to be my personal pornstar princess.." They spoke, their voice warm and hushed, sending a line of chills down your spine.

Biting your lip you moved your hips faster, with both of Hange's hands attached guiding you perfectly.

"Show me how nasty you really are.." They continued, placing kisses up and down the middle of your chest still keeping the eye contact while they slipped a nipple in their mouth.

You finally dropped the shy girl act and took Hange's hand off your hip, moving it exactly where you needed it to be, they slide the thin piece of fabric to the side, your sticky fluids dripping out of you as their finger eases it way inside, practically sucking it in.

"You talk too much.." You mumble, letting a few moans escape from your throat as they add another, curling their fingers and hitting your g-spot like they knew your body. A large groan followed next when their speed increased.

"You usually get this wet with all your clients?" They smugly ask, ignoring the smart remark, with their fingers speeding up purposely so you couldn't form a single sentence.

"I-I dont-"

"Shhh, shh princess, let your body talk for me." They teased, listening to the nasty squelching sounds coming from your soaked pussy, you could feel your stomach tighten up, and the palm of their hand rubbing your clit, you heard yourself whimper before covering your mouth with your hands.

You felt a bit embarrassed that you were so close from you both doing barely anything, but you couldn't care it felt too fucking good to hold back. Just as soon as you mentally let go, they pull out of you causing you to whine from the empty feeling.

"Why'd you stop? You knew I was cl-"

They shut you up by shoving their soaked fingers into your mouth, watching you suckle on them with strings of saliva forming on your lips.

"I knew you were close, only a nasty bitch like you can clamp down on my fingers like that..on your stomach for me." They spoke, palming themselves watching you arch your back on the elongated couch.

Being the nasty slut you were, you shook your ass in anticipation spreading your pussy lips and rubbing your swollen clit thinking you were finna get stuffed full of dick. Your whole body shivered as you felt the warm wetness from their tongue licking a stripe from your clit to your quivering cunt.

Their tongue easily sliding in between your folds, sucking you like they wanted to drain you entirely. Your eyes crossed when they spat on your pussy, watching it drip down, rubbing it in with their hand, sticking their thumb in and out of you just to tease.

"You like eating me like a bitch in heat?"

"Just as much as you like screaming like one.." They replied, wrapping their lips back in the same spot, flicking and swirling their tongue as their hands joined in, pumping in and out.

"Oh god, fuckkk...please! I'm cumming! I'm- HANGE!" You screamed out, your body shakes with your cunt squirting fluids all over the couch, not realizing you slipped up and said their name.

"Such a pretty mess you made..and I thought you didn't know too much about me.." Hange mocked, cleaning you up and slapping your thighs to keep you from squirming, you felt your stomach in multiple knots from the sensitivity. "Didn't take you to be a squirter.."

"Me either.." You mumbled, trying to get your head together. But Hange gave you no time for that. Gripping you by the back of your neck they pulled you up, turning your head around for a sloppy kiss.

You normally don't kiss clients but your head was so fogged up and full of them that those rules went out of the question, you'd just have to deal with the lecture later.

You felt them suck your face off in the most disrespectful way possible, sucking on your tongue and biting your lower lip. You couldn't help but moan in their mouth kindly returning the nasty favor.

By now you're completely naked, with them wearing nothing but the black wifebeater and grey dress pants that surely ended up on the floor next. You felt them pick you up, the coldness of a wall on your back and the tip of something poking at your throbbing cunt.

Your legs were in no shape to be fucked against the wall but Hange didn't want to hear a single complaint.

"I'll hold you together, doll, just fall apart in my hands for me..make those pretty sounds like you did before.." They your body whispered in your ear, holding your legs up with their tatted forearms like you were pure putty in their hands, thrusting into you.

You could feel yourself stretching out by the inch as they pound into you, their hair all disheveled with slight moans escaping their throat, feeling you clamp them like a vice.

"Why are you so fucking wet? This all for me doll, hm?" They growled, marking your neck with bruises and bites.

"It's all for you, it's all for you- fuck! Don't stop, please I swear i'm gonna cum all over this dick.."

"That's right princess, talk to me while i'm inside of you..tell me what you want.." Hange egged on.

"I want you to punish me, I wanna squirt all over you and make a fucking mess, Hange fuck me..pleasee." You pleaded, wrapping your legs around them with all the strength you could find, with tears prickling in the corners of your eyes, you were so fucking close.

Hange noticed the tears falling from your face and watched the mascara stain your face, kissing your stained cheeks with a toothy smirk.

"You look so fucking pretty like this..on your knees..hurry up." They panted, pulling out of you while you quickly got on the floor, they followed behind you, smacking your ass while you shook your hips to rub against them.

Pushing back inside, you both groan out with pleasure as Hange continues with the same pace as before, their hands pulling you in deeper.

"You feel so fucking good, s'good..i'm gonna cum all over that pretty face.." They grumbled, rutting into you.

"Please cum in me Hange, PLEASE! Fuck me just like that..just like that baby!" You groaned out, spreading yourself open so they could really hit your shit, you could feel them in the pit of your stomach, repeatedly hitting that spongy spot inside of you, that familiar feeling crept back in and crashed hard, with you letting out a loud scream.

"I'm not done just yet princess, give me one more pretty girl, please?" Hange cooed to you as they fucked you through the shivering orgasm, you swore you started to see stars.

"I know you can doll, just breathe for me." Hange went on, spitting on their hand and rubbing small circles on your clit. You whine from the sensitivity as your legs shake violently, the tears were flowing at this point but you couldn't help why you and your body wanted more.

"I want more of it...fuck..please cum inside of me Hange.." You begged once more, turning your hips up to push back without their help.

"Ouu shit, just like that princess..fuck me back then.." Hange swore, biting their lower lip as they lifted up their shirt, leaning back a bit to watch your ass move up and down on them and listening to your pussy squelch.

Hard smacks to your ass echoed in the room, as their voice escalated to a whimper as you picked up your pace, they finally let you take over and you wanted to pull all your tricks out to prove a point.

"Like that baby? This pussy sucking you dry? I want all of it Hange, give it to me please baby?" You teased, throwing your ass against them, feeling your own orgasm coming in close.

"I'm gonna cum all in this pussy baby, look at me- fuck just like that, you look so fucking good.." They babbled, watching you as you turned your neck to look back at them.

Their face was covered with the color red with a few strands stuck to their forehead, you could tell they were about to spray your insides white, this made you put your all into it, they gripped your hips hard forming crescent shaped indents deep into your skin, sporadically pounding inside of you, whimpering and moaning as you were bound to the ground, stuck in a euphoric state of pleasure.

"I'm cumming, I'M GONNA-" Was all you head before you felt ropes of warm cum fill you up in the nastiest way possible, you could feel them twitch inside of you as they still weren't finished, fucking the cum deeper into you.

Soon enough you creamed all over Hange only adding to the nasty mess they created not too long ago. They finally pulled out and watched as their cum spilled out of you, like an artist looking at a finished project.

You were mentally out of it, your legs gave out and you were on the floor with cum spilling out of your pussy and drool coming from your lips, bitch you were dickmatized.

"So..." They panted. "How do we tell Eren?"

Yallllllll, this is the nastiest thing my fingers have typed- this has been in my drafts for so long...but oh my fuck..i'm fucking pregnant....

[comradeboyhalo]

(not maintagging this because it comes out more aggressive than it means to be. this is just an unserious rant.)

first of all, i do think qsmp as a whole has been kinder to cc!bad. the qsmp’s more dnd-like format is more inclusive in general, there’s net 0 creators who constantly swear at him, and the fandom does treat him better (the bar is low though). i’m more than grateful for that. 

that being said. i dislike how everyone acts like cc!bad was bullied into a corner on the dsmp. yes, a chunk of creators and fans only saw him as a “language” joke, thats an unfortunate fact. but i see a lot of people ignore the fact that cc!bad saw this, and in response created a whole fucking storyline that was designed to allow everyone to join in on it. 

bad, ant, and sam created the egg arc because they disliked the current political storylines and wanted to experiment with scifi-horror. this was after the badlands were formed, and after they realized that they were locked out of a lot of l’manberg conflicts. they didn’t sit around waiting for lore to be handed to them, they created it themselves. to act as though bad didn’t have the chance to create a complex character on the dsmp, or that every cc didnt take him seriously, is devaluing his work. the ccs involved in the egg arc did see c!bad as a threat. they respected his work, they participated in his lore. and there were a lot of them! you just maybe just didn't watch them.

if YOUR streamer only saw bad as a “language” joke, whatever. if YOUR side of the damp fandom never paid attention to egg lore, thats fine. but dont act like every cc did, or that the egg arc didn’t have a following. its true that it was very underrated, but cc!bad is also not this helpless baby who needs his hand held to create an engaging character. he saw he was the largest streamer among the egg arc ccs, and used that platform to bring everyone else up. he put in the fucking work, and it’s not his fault that people still refuse to acknowledge it.  

i see ex-dsmp fans praise the qsmp fandom for respecting bad, and then turn around and beg him to not reference egg lore. the same people who love karmaland, ordem paranormal, and 2b2t references are telling bad that he can’t reference his story, that he put work in. why? for dislike of streamers who weren’t even involved in it? you cant be happy bad is seen as his own person, then turn around and boil his dsmp work down to bigger streamers you dislike.

again, i don’t blame people for not watching the egg arc. i don’t think anyone should be forced to watch every storyline, or keep up with every cc. i don’t know. it’s just frustrating i guess? me and other egg arc fans were creating content, character analyses, and lore masterposts all to hype up c!bad and it’s not our fault yall ignored it and are just now seeing bad’s a good roleplayer! idk! i know everyone’s trying to be nice, i love everyone who’s new to bad’s content, i dont want to gatekeep at all. but your dsmp experiences are not universal. the way your streamers treated bad was not the way everyone treated bad. 

[hausofmamadas]

JOHNNY DAVIS | Cheers to a (real) wild one

The Bikeriders (2023)

∴

At the request of my beloved df (dear friend) @narcolini, who wrote this fucking FIIIIREEEEEEEE disgusting, amazing, beautiful, ridiculous, obscenely and downright upsettingly well-written Johnny Davis x Reader fic -> called white room, and also brought my attention to the s e v e r e lack of Johnny gifs out on the interwebs, I am hereby dumping some of my fav Johnny moments from The Bikeriders aka just S.E. Hinton’s The Outsiders for grownups nvm that they’re contemporary stories shshhhhh shhh it still works. So that we may all join hands together in a kumbayah-my-lordt prayer circle to levitate to the ceiling chanting spells appreciate and enjoy and gaze creepily lovingly at his beautiful, grizzled bisexually lovestruck sweet bb angel face that launched a thousand choppers eat your heart out Helen you got nothin on our golden boy and so that my df (dear friend) might regale us with additional installments of possibly the most in-character fanfic I’ve read in my life bc this man is in their bones, yall, dejame do TELLLL you like seriously go check it out, pls and thnku.

And so, without further ado I present to you the tumblr equivalent of my 7th grade diorama honoring golden boy, Johnny Davis:

Yeah, so this👇here is just him being fucking perfect and adorable, laughing at his malewife Benny’s red-light/stop-sign-running shenanigans, pretending like he’s not half as in love with him as he clearly is, him being so perfect it stuck in my memory, like gum to a subway seat and I knew, before I even got the request, before I even started screenrecording, that I was forsure, 1000000% gonna gif these

This👇here is him being fucking perfect, gazing sexily from across the bar, pretending he ain’t the big man in charge, going over to assure a reasonably sketched out Kathy of her unequivocal safety in his bar, all rolling up his sleeves, casually slow-walking over, like he doesn’t own the damn place even tho he abs does, like idc if it’s not canon (tbh bc I only saw the movie twice) but no one will convince that man’s name is not on the deed to that bar bc that’s the kinda guy Johnny is

Oh this👇one right here is just him being a perfect fucking commiserate professional club leader, offering to fight some dude who was challenging Her Majesty’s crown bc Her Majesty won’t let said dude start a Milwaukee chapter get real Milwaukee, you don’t even go here even tho after the fight, Her Majesty Johnny’s just gonna fuckin let the dude start it anyway, he wants to test a homie’s dedication, bc that’s the kinda guy Johnny is

These ones👇here are just him being fucking dreamy and perfect, all enjoying a Sunday afternoon ride into the sunset with his malewife Benny the fam, hair blowing in the breeze, ain’t got a care in the world bc that’s the kinda guy Johnny is

This here👇is him being fucking perfect, doing his best Brando-mugging at the camera, cigarette expertly hanging out his mouth by a thread, eyebrows up nearly to his hairline, all squinting like he about to fail a vision test at the DMV n giving them no choice but to take his driver’s license away, except jokes on them bc nothing and I mean n o t h i n g can keep him away from these mean streets or from his girlfriend that’s he knows is way too cool for him, Benny bc that’s the kinda guy Johnny is

This here👇is him being fucking perfect and positively heartbroken getting the news that his malewife has been attacked by some clowns in a bar from my malewife, a one Ponyboy-coded, Mr. Cal from California aka Boyd Holbrook in greaser drag and I normally am so not for blondies but by god am I here for that and plotting his inevitable revenge on those no-good mfs who did his girl so dirty, nearly taking away her ability to ride bc that’s the kinda guy Johnny is

This here👇is him being fucking perfect exacting said vengeance on behalf of his malewife, Benny aka The Girl Everyone Wants To Take To The Prom by finding the dudes who beat him up and then setting the bar on fire for good measure bc gottdammmititfkdjd nobody messes with MAH WOMAN bc that’s the kinda guy Johnny is. It’s also him hilarious with the comedic timing like look at how funny his face is just telling Brucie to burn it down SKSKSK

And this here👇is him being fucking perfect, watching the world burn enjoying the fruits of his labor, a Labor Of Love in fact, bc that’s the kinda fuckin guy Johnny is

And what’s more gold than that, right guys?? Never change. Stay gold, Johnny. Stay gold.

═

taglist: @drabbles-mc, @when-did-this-become-difficult, @complete-nonsequitur, @ashlingiswriting since yall read the fic

[i-know-you-know-we-know-lee-know]

Enhypen maknae line reacts to their so falling asleep on them

Hi :D Im back

Uh

Thank you for your support

Enjoy this wierd ass looking heart i drew i guess?

💀

Hyung line :3

Warnings: grammar errors (commas illude me), fluff, me simping for sunno the entire time, spelling errors, not proofread, were all single pringles together, pronouns not specified, "their" used once

repost if you saw the original unfinished version that i accidentally posted because i know some of yall did💀

Sunno

Confused but happy

Ya know how he does that head tilt when he's confused

Yeah

He does that

🥺

Pouts his lips and just stares at you in confusion

He's just a little confused baby

There all babys tho

He'll still cuddle you

Just with a little more confusion than normal

Will play with your hair

Running his hands through it

(ू˃̣̣̣̣̣̣︿˂̣̣̣̣̣̣ ू)

There are no words to describe the feelings he makes you feel

He loves it when you feel comfortable enough to fall asleep on him without a word

Its like you two have your own secret language with no words

*so walks in the room*

*makes eye contact with him*

*falls asleep in his arms a few moments later*

I wish i could do that

He definitely looks forward to when you come home from a long day

Just so you can collapse onto him

I know i said Hoonie was my bias wrecker

But...

_(:3」∠)_

Oh well

Jungwon

🐱

Smol cat boi

Would not let you stay on his lap

Literally rolls over with you on top of him and lays on his side

Then he doesn't let you leave his arms

>:<

But have yall ever been in someones arms when there sleeping?

...

No?

Me neither

💀

I think it would be really hot

WaiT-

No

I meant temperature

I mean if were talking about Jungwon...

But just imagine being trapped against someones body

Unable to move

And overheating

Yeah you push him off you

But then you crawl on top of him

Because you cant fall asleep without him

And you want to make him suffer the way be made you suffer-

Jk

...

Anyways you fall asleep

Together

Like two peas in a pod

And you wake up sideways cuddled into him again

Because he woke up with you on top of him and pushed you off

And then you ended up in the same position you were im before

That sounded really wrong-

Im gonna stop now

Before i make any other wierd jokes

Ni-ki

Well he says he hates it

"says"

Because really who can resist a sleepy person when all they want is to sleep on you?

Nobody

Except him

Or at least he tries

But he still lets you fall asleep on him without complaining

Suspicious  ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° 

As soon as he double checks that your asleep he starts hugging you

Because he cant show weakness when your awake

No no

Because then he would be caught

✨simping✨

For you

And that's not allowed

According to him

Definitely accidentally wakes you up

But you don't tell him

Because you just want soft riki

Who desent

Seriously when he's no serious or tensed up and actually acting like a maknae it makes my heart melt 🥰

You listen to him as he hums you a little song

Thinking your still asleep

Eventually you really do fall back asleep

And he probably falls asleep too

The two of you are another victim to the hyung photos

They will take them just to embarrass you istg

Not even to say how cute you are together

No-

"look how wierd their face looks😀"

It was definitely Sunghoon

Getting back at him for taking sleeping pictures of him sleeping