#I THRIVE off of how evil she is!!! Like not that she's a bad person! But this woman's innate alignment is /so god damn CLEARLY/ on the evil

[asahicore]

real me, real you - psh

pairing. sunghoon x fem!reader (ft. jay... sorry)

synopsis. You’re your school’s popular pretty smart girl, but with a twist - you lead a completely different life at home, where you are messy, lazy and foul-mouthed. Only your family and best friend Sumin know about this, until Park Sunghoon, of all people, finds out. The resident cold and arrogant heartbreaker of your school decides to blackmail you into doing his biddings - but you can’t say no, not even when he asks you to be his fake girlfriend, otherwise he’ll ruin your reputation. But as you and Sunghoon get closer, you realize that maybe he’s not so bad after all, and you may be more similar than you'd originally though - all while your old childhood friend Jay watches from the sidelines.

genre. fake dating, high school au, very slight love triangle action, fluff and angst

warnings. this is the first thing i ever wrote so there may be slightly cringe and awkward things but i didn't wanna change anything lol, hoon is a meanie at some point and everything is dramatic and very fanfic-y, mild childhood trauma for both of them <3

word count. 22.9k

author's note. @end-hyphen genie this one is for you... i hope you still like this fic after all this time lol ! as i said in the warnings i only changed a few typos and punctuation from the original but i decided to not make any major changes bc i think it's nice to see what my writing was like when i had just started out!! hopefully i've improved lol, also this was not inspired by true beauty!! i've never seen the show nor read the webtoon. i was inspired by two mangas called switch girl and kare kano (or his and her circumstances) which have this plot of a girl being two different people at school and at home. anyways hope u guys enjoy this and if u do pls lmk <333

Nobody was supposed to find out.

You were the most popular girl in school, known for your looks, good grades, and kind personality. You had a nice group of friends and the whole school at your feet, students and staff alike. As the student representative, you had an image to keep up and needed everyone to think you were perfect; and they did. So you always wore a smile on your face, kept your head up and made sure your uniform was creaseless, all while maintaining the highest scores in your year. Always being friendly to your peers and helping them out prevented anyone from thinking you were a stuck-up goody-two-shoes. You made high school look like a breeze.

But such a life didn’t exist. Who was happy waking up at 6 a.m. every day and dedicating all of their time to schoolwork and student life? You certainly weren’t. What you thrived off of was having everyone think you were. Hearing whispers in the corridor of, “She’s so pulled together!” or “I wish I had her life”, now, those skyrocketed you to heaven. The cherry on top was a nod of approval from a teacher or an “outstanding job again, Y/N” as they handed you back your graded paper. Your favorite color had become the red of the pens your teachers used to write A+ at the top of the page. 

You’d always been academically gifted, but as you heard those words more and more, you’d started craving them and doing everything to hear them again until they started controlling you instead of the other way around. Everything you did needed to be perfect. And that was how you had created this persona of the perfect girl who had it all together at the ripe age of 17. But that’s exactly what it was; a persona. 

As soon as you stepped off the bus and waved goodbye to your friends, you became another person. Or more accurately, you reverted back to your natural self. You weren’t an evil person by any means; it wasn’t your intention to actively deceive everyone at school, it was more of a side effect of keeping up appearances. Only your family and your closest friend Sumin knew what you were truly like: greedy, messy, short-tempered, self-centered, and sometimes downright insufferable. Your younger siblings, Sunoo and Yeeun, liked to joke that you had a button you switched on and off whenever you left the house. When on, you were the sweetest girl ever, but when off, all your vices crept up and let themselves known to the world, or rather to your family. You didn’t mean to make them suffer, but after a long day of being perfect, you needed to blow off some steam; if they had to be your metaphorical punching bag, so be it. 

When Sunoo entered high school, you made him swear he wouldn’t say a thing to anyone. You trusted him and knew he wouldn’t let your secret out - it was too entertaining for him to see you act perfect at school and reveal your true self at home. There was no risk of anyone finding out - you were so intent on keeping the act up that nothing ever slipped you. It had been that way since middle school, and your senior year of high school was going to be no different.

Nobody was supposed to find out, so what was Park Sunghoon doing right in front of you in the frozen aisle of the corner convenience store, just when you happened to be bare-faced, with thick glasses on and a pimple bright red from just having been popped, in your comfiest pajamas, and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s in hand?

“Kim Y/N? Y/N, is that you?”

You froze in place, not knowing how to react. There was no way this, your worst nightmare, was actually happening.

When you regained your senses, flight seemed the best way out of this. You avoided Sunghoon’s curious gaze and curtly replied, “No, sorry, I don’t know who that is,” before walking away, iron grip on the ice cream.

But the boy was quicker than you and grabbed you by the wrist, forcing you to turn around. “It is you! Come on, Y/N, aren’t we friends? Do you not recognize me or something?”

If it wasn’t for the panic coursing through your veins at that moment, you might’ve laughed at his question. How could you not recognize the Park Sunghoon? Along with Park Jongseong and Sim Jaeyun, or Jay and Jake as they liked to be called, he was only the most popular guy in your year - hell, in the whole school. The three of them had gained attention from freshman year as the three handsome soccer players. Jake and Sunghoon had been attached at the hip since kindergarten, Jay joining them sometime in middle school when he came back from his year abroad in Seattle. 

Your parents and Jay’s had been college best friends and you two had therefore grown up together, and even used to be quite close. You’d grown apart when he joined Jake and Sunghoon’s friend group, and although you still got on well, there was always a bit of an awkward atmosphere when you caught up with each other.

The three friends had quite different personalities but their complicity and shared history made them stick together. Jake was known for his academic achievements, rivaling yours, and his friendly personality; Jay, for his surprisingly funny antics once you got past the somewhat menacing appearance (which he blames on his resting bitch face). Sunghoon, on the other hand, was as cold as ice, so much that he’d earned the nickname of ice prince, but girls continued to swoon over him due to his incredibly handsome features. When turning down girls, Jake and Jay always tried to let them down gently, but Sunghoon wasn’t one to hold back: he’d laugh in their face or straight up say no, staring them right in the eyes. Most confessions ended in tears (not his, obviously), but girls kept on testing their luck, thinking they might be the one to melt the ice prince’s cold, dead heart.

Clearly, you weren’t Sunghoon’s biggest fan.

His behavior had always made you wonder why Jay and Jake were friends with a person like him. They went back a long time, but how did Sunghoon not become a nice and approachable person like his two best friends? They both seemed so genuine, but he looked like he was hiding something. This was what had made you weary of him; you knew all too well how easily an image that was the opposite of reality could be created. So on one hand, you sort of felt for him, thinking he might be in a similar situation as you. But on the other hand, you couldn’t help but feel some kind of jealousy: if you acted the way he did, you wouldn’t receive half the admiration you did. Hell, you’d probably be hated for it - no one likes a girl that’s both successful and bitchy about it. 

One thing was sure, though, and that was that you wouldn’t call the two of you friends, as he just had.

“Y/N? You okay?”

The pure panic in your eyes must’ve made Sunghoon realize something was wrong. He released you and looked you up and down, trying to take your appearance in. The Y/N he was seeing right then was worlds away from the one he was accustomed to at school. 

You realized there was no ignoring him, so you collected yourself and faced Sunghoon. “Uh, yeah, hi, Sunghoon. Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting to see anyone I knew here.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, no wonder. You look quite… different from what you usually do,” he said, voice laced with sarcasm.

This whole situation got you dumbfounded. You usually knew exactly what to retort when somebody messed with you, your friend or a classmate, but this time, you were completely speechless. You just wanted to escape.

“Well, it was nice seeing you Sunghoon, but I need to get home.” You pivoted on your heels and started walking again, but Sunghoon had other plans.

“Aw, come on, so quickly? We barely got to chat!” He followed you through the aisles as you picked up the remaining ingredients on the list your mother had given you as quickly as you could.

“I didn’t know you needed glasses. Do you wear lenses at school?”

“Yes. I need them to see.”

“I figured.” You could hear the smirk in his voice, and your shock was slowly morphing into anger. Were teenage girls so blind that they’d have a crush on someone with such an abominable personality, no matter how angelic his face was? 

“I really like your outfit, by the way. Looks super comfy.” And as if your embarrassment couldn’t grow any bigger, he added: “Too bad you got a stain on the shirt.”

You looked down at yourself and noticed a huge grease stain on the collar of your shirt. Admittedly, you didn’t always have the best table manners. 

You swore under your breath. It was quiet for a couple minutes as you arrived at the register and paid for your items, Sunghoon still on your tail. He had apparently given up his purchases to focus solely on tormenting you. When you walked out of the store, you thought he might finally be done. But of course, he wasn’t.

“You know, my sister has this really effective pimple cream she uses. Do you want me to ask her what brand it is?”

That was it. You sighed deeply. “Alright, Park. What do you want?”

When you turned to face him fully, arms crossing over your chest and an obviously tired expression on your face, the mischievous glint in his eyes made you realize something. That idiot was enjoying this. 

Indeed, he beamed down at you. You had probably never seen him smiling so widely. “Wow, Y/N, didn’t know you could have such an attitude.”

You stayed silent and continued staring at him, waiting for an answer. He mirrored your pose, out of instinct or to irritate you, you weren’t sure.

“You know, when I moved to this neighborhood before the start of school, I was definitely not expecting to see Perfect Miss Y/N out in her pajamas buying ice cream. I thought you were more into, I don’t know, rescuing puppies from fires or something. That sounds like something you’d do in your free time.”

“Well, is there anything wrong with what I’m doing?”

“Oh, absolutely not! Just a surprising sight. Makes me wonder what the rest of the school would say…” He looked intently at you, clearly waiting for a reaction. You weren’t about to give him one, though.

You chuckled and rolled your eyes, shifting your weight on your right foot. “Yeah, like anyone would believe you if you said you saw me looking anything else other than perfect.” It might’ve sounded arrogant, but that was the image people had of you. Even your friends asked you how you did it - if only they knew the truth.

At that, his smile got even brighter. “Don’t worry about that, I won’t need to tell anyone. I’ll just show them!” He pulled out his phone, showing you a picture of you in your god-awful pajamas searching for your favorite flavor of ice cream.

He watched as your face fell, taking your silence as an opportunity to go on. “You were so engrossed in the tubs of ice cream that you didn’t notice a dashingly handsome and tall young man very obviously taking pictures of you.”

This put you into panic mode again. It might have seemed foolish, but you hadn’t worked for years to create a perfect version of yourself only for a stupid boy to destroy it all with one picture. 

You sighed and lowered your head, taking a moment to think. You didn’t know Sunghoon that well, but you didn’t put it past him to send that picture to everyone and ruin your image in the process. You opted for honesty instead of bluff. You took your glasses off and looked back up at him; even if you couldn’t see him as well without them, maybe he’d see the despair in your eyes better.

“Park. I mean, Sunghoon. You can’t show that picture to anyone, okay? You have no idea how bad I need to keep up appearances. It’s really important to me, so just delete the picture and let’s never talk about this again, yeah?”

You tried smiling at him, but his expression infuriated you. You could tell he had something else up his sleeve. “Now, Y/N, why would I do that? If I’m gonna do something for you, you should do something for me.”

You weren’t sure if you wanted to hear the rest of his thoughts, but you needed to know. Eyeing him suspiciously, you told him to go on.

“Well, I can’t think of anything right now, but I’ll let you know when I do, okay? I’ll see you around, Y/N.” He flashed another one of his smiles, patted your head, and walked away, just like that, leaving you standing outside the convenience store on your own, a melting tub of ice cream in your plastic bag. At least for now, you were safe.

Right?

—

“You saw Park Sunghoon? As in, the Park Sunghoon?” your little sister Yeeun asked, looking at you with huge eyes. You two and Sunoo were sitting on your bed, sharing the ice cream by eating it directly from the tub.

“Yes, that’s literally what I’ve been saying this whole time. How do you know him anyway? You’re still in middle school…”

“Are you crazy? He’s famous in our whole school district! I wish we had cute boys in my school as well,” she sulked, pouting.

“That’s not the point, Yeeun,” Sunoo chimed in, then turned to you. “Well, this is either bad news or the start of a beautiful romance.”

“Sunoo! Take this seriously! I’m in a huge dilemma right now.”

Your siblings shared a knowing glance and snickered.

“Hey! I’m right here. I’m not overreacting, you know. If he does send those pictures around, I’m done for.”

“Oh, come on, Y/N, you’d be so much better off if you could be yourself at school. I see you there almost everyday, and the way you laugh always sounds so fake. Nobody would care if you forgot to put makeup on one day or had a crease in your shirt. If anything, it’d make you look more human.”

You could see where Sunoo was coming from, but you chose to ignore it. You sighed deeply. “You guys just don’t get it. They all see me as this perfect, put-together girl. If I showed them even a glimpse of the truth, everything would shatter. It’s too late to go back now.” You ignored their pitying looks and took another big spoonful of ice cream.

It was their turn to sigh. As always, it was impossible to reason with you. Deep in your thoughts, you added: “You know, there was something really off about him today. I’d never seen him act that way before.”

Your siblings looked at you questioningly. “He’s always so cold and distant towards everyone. I’ve only seen him smile when he’s laughing with Jake and Jay or when he makes fun of someone. But just now, he kept smiling at me like he was having fun. He even patted my head when he left.”

At that, Yeeun swooned dramatically, hands over her heart. You looked over at her and said, “I’d be swooning too if it was any other guy than Park Sunghoon. I’m more confused than anything right now, he was a completely different person from when I see him at school.”

They exchanged another look. “You guys stop doing that!”

“Well, it’s just that that sounds an awful lot like someone I know,” Sunoo replied. Realization hit you and you scoffed, mildly offended. At least you were nice to others at school and didn’t act like an asshole with a superiority complex.

“Anyway,” he continued, “what will you do about Sunghoon?”

“I’m not too sure. I guess all I can do is wait and see whatever it is he could want from me.”

“Yeah, do that, and then date him, please. If I can’t have him as my boyfriend, then I’ll have him as my brother-in-law,” Yeeun joked. You didn’t have it in you to retort anything back and started laughing along with her. 

If everything did shatter, at least you’d have your siblings to make you laugh.

— 

The next day, you made your way to the bus stop after your daily morning routine: jogging, showering, eating a filling breakfast, choosing the perfect accessories for your school uniform, applying just the right amount of makeup and going over your subjects and tasks of the day. As always, efficiency is the key. You had become so used to this routine that your body did it on its own, which let your mind wander wherever it pleased. Usually, you’d use this time to prepare yourself for the day ahead, but today, the only thing on your mind was Park Sunghoon. What was that boy up to? Was he up to anything, or did you completely imagine his mischievousness yesterday? In any case, you hoped it would all be over soon. 

You got on the bus and sat down next to Sumin. Your close friend group at school consisted of her, Park Sieun, Lee Heeseung and Choi Jiung, but she was the only one who knew about your secret. You had been friends for so long that you hadn’t even been able to hide it: she’d seen you from all angles, both before, during and after your transformation to who you were now. It was nice having someone else than your siblings to rely on and tell everything to. 

“Minie, you’ll never guess what happened yesterday. I ran into Park Sunghoon at the convenience store next to our apartment unit.”

She raised her eyebrows in surprise, but her reaction wasn’t as big as you thought it’d be. She smiled and said, “Huh! I knew he’d moved to our neighborhood, but I wouldn’t have thought he’d live so close to you that you’d even shop at the same place.”

She registered your confused expression and continued. “Didn’t you hear? He moved out of his parents’ house at the end of summer. Something about a huge fight with them that made him move out. But there are always so many rumors about him and his group that I don’t know what to believe.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, unsure what to say. Now that you thought about it, Sunghoon had mentioned moving in your conversation yesterday, but you were so preoccupied with him seeing you in your wild state that you hadn’t paid much attention to his comment.

“Wait, did he do something? Your face is telling me he did something.”

You got closer to her face and gestured for her to do the same. With lowered heads and in hushed tones, you said, “He saw me on off-mode.”

She gasped and jolted back in surprise, eyes wide and eyebrows shooting straight up. “What?”

You shushed her and pulled her in by her shoulders. “He even took pictures.” Your grip tight, you held her from jumping again. “That’s not even it. You know how he's always really cold and distant?”

“You mean how he’s always being a douchebag?” She scoffed. “Yeah, I know.”

You remembered that Sumin had been one of the first of many girls who shot their shot with Park Sunghoon, only to get rejected. You both grimaced at the memory that always left a bad taste in your mouth.

“He was completely different yesterday. Kept following me around the store and, I’m not sure, teasing me? Like trying to get a reaction out of me? In a weird half-friendly half-bully way.”

“Hm, you’re right, that doesn’t sound like him,” she mused. “It does sound like a stupid teenage boy though, which I guess he is, no matter how hard he tries to pretend he’s not.”

This is what you loved about Sumin. She could see right through people, and never hesitated to say what she thought of them, especially when they acted the way Sunghoon did. Sure, there were some personal feelings attached there, but she had quickly gotten over them when she realized how much of a douche he was towards everyone else.

When the bus stopped to pick up some more students, Heeseung hopped on. You quickly told Sumin to keep it a secret, at which she smiled and made a motion as if zipping her lips and throwing the key. If you told your friends about Sunghoon, you’d have to tell them the truth about how he had dirt on you, but you wanted to keep your friendship clean. You chatted the rest of the bus ride away and tried not to worry over Park Sunghoon too much.

When you finally got to school, you, Heeseung, and Sumin made your way to your classroom to join Jiung and Sieun. Before you could get there, however, Jungwon, an underclassman you had talked to a couple times for student council meetings, called out your name. You told your friends to go on without you and turned to the younger boy.

“Jungwon! Hi, what’s up?”

He seemed flattered that you had remembered his name but quickly got on with his business. “Um, I’m not sure why, but Sunghoon told me to come and get you? I’ve never talked to him, I think he just picked me randomly and assigned me a task…”

You sighed. Park Sunghoon truly was something. “Thanks for telling me, Jungwon. I’ll make sure he gets an earful for this, he has no right to boss students around like that.”

Jungwon’s eyes doubled in size as he frantically waved his hands in dismissal. “No! No need to do that, I don’t want to get in trouble with him. I’m just here to relay the message.” At that, he scurried off, and you headed towards Sunghoon’s homeroom. 

When you walked in, a few people were in the room, some girls gossiping with each other, a couple students doing some last-minute revision for a test. You found Sunghoon sitting at his desk, snickering with Jay and Jake and hoped that the subject of their laughter wasn’t you. They noticed you approaching and the two decent boys greeted you; the other one eyed you, that mischievous glint back in his eyes. What could he possibly have in mind?

“Hi, guys.” You smiled at Jay and Jake and reflexively stood closer to Jay. “Sunghoon, Jungwon said you wanted to see me?” you asked, trying to keep your impatience at bay.

“Oh, was that his name? Well, thank heavens for him, ‘cause I forgot my lunch at home. Would you be a sweetheart and go buy me something at the cafeteria? You know how everything runs out as soon as lunch period starts, and I get really cranky when I’m hungry.”

You stared at him, wide-eyed. His two friends’ reaction wasn’t very different from yours. Go buy him lunch? That’s what he wanted you to do?

“What? You don’t want to? That’s too bad, cause there’s a picture I think everybo-”

You cut him off before he could finish. “No! Of course I’ll do it! Can’t have our star player go hungry, now can we?” You cringed at your own words and Jay eyed you suspiciously. Sunghoon beamed, and Jake’s eyes darted back and forth between the two of you in pure confusion. “Um, any preferences?”

His smile got wider. “A tuna mayo would be amazing. Thanks, Y/N! You’re the best!”

“Sure…” you mumbled and quickly walked away, more bemused than ever. You checked your watch. You had 10 minutes before the first bell rang, and you could not be late for class, which meant you needed to hurry. 

You got back to Sunghoon’s classroom just a minute before the first bell. To your dismay, the class was almost full, and girls had gathered around him, trying to get his attention, but he seemed unbothered by their presence. You braced yourself and walked towards him. As your presence rarely went by unnoticed, most eyes were on you and Sunghoon. Not only were you two some of the most popular kids in school, you also happened to be handing him his lunch, a never-seen-before sight between the two of you. 

“I also got you banana milk, for good measure…” 

What had seemed like a great idea a few minutes ago, something to appease the devil in him, now felt like the biggest mistake of your life. The girls around him started whispering left and right and you weren’t sure whether they felt bad for you, sensing an incoming rejection, or wanted to tear you to shreds for even trying. 

The whispers grew even louder when Sunghoon took the sandwich and milk from your hands, thanking you with a smile. You’d be lying if you said your heart hadn’t done a small jump in your chest at that moment. As much as you hated to admit it, if looks were the sole factor for popularity, then you could definitely understand why Park Sunghoon was so loved. His face looked like it had been carved by the gods themselves. When his eyebrows weren’t turned in a frown, his eyes looked almost sweet, especially when he laughed. His two moles gave him so much charm, the curve of his nose was so delicate and his pink lips looked so, so soft… 

You cleared your throat and smiled back at him before turning around to walk to your own classroom.

“Wait, Y/N!”

You turned back around, all eyes on you. You could feel Jay’s eyes burning holes into you. Sunghoon was still smiling. You thought you’d seen him smile more in the past two days than you had in all the years you’d known him.

“I’ll see you later.”

—

And indeed see him later you did. You always hung back a bit after classes ended to get homework done or work out student council issues. Being in an empty classroom brought you some peace and quiet, very different from the busyness and noise of your home. You couldn’t even focus in your own room, your siblings or parents always barging in to disturb you. The after-school janitors now knew you by name and saved cleaning the classroom you were sitting in for last. 

You had been barely sitting there for 5 minutes, nose buried in a math problem, when Park Sunghoon graciously strode in, swung the chair in front of you around and sat on it, arms crossed over its back as he peered at you. You didn’t even bother to look up at him as you spoke. “What, Park?”

“Oh no, back to last name basis already?” he joked. You didn’t laugh. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Wow, tough crowd. Anyways, thanks for the sandwich today.”

This made you look at him. Or rather, shoot daggers at him. “Yeah, what the hell was that all about? Did you have to pull that little stunt in front of everybody? You know what our school is like! Rumors are gonna start spreading like wildfire.”

“I already told you,” he said with a defensive tone. “Forgot my lunch, everything was gonna run out, didn’t want to get hungry later,” he said as he shrugged, completely ignoring the latter part of your complaint.

“And you couldn’t have gone and gotten it yourself?”

He beamed. If it wasn’t so damn beautiful, you probably would have started getting tired of his stupid smile already. “Why would I do that when I could get you to do it?”

You sighed. “I knew you weren’t the nicest guy, but I didn’t know you could be such an asshole, Park.”

If you hadn’t been staring him down so intently, you might not have noticed the falter in his smile, so quick it was.

“Oh, come on, Y/N. If anything, I’m doing you a favor by not sending out to everyone that picture you so desperately want to keep secret. Thing is, doing that wouldn’t benefit me in any way, except for getting the satisfaction of seeing everybody realize you’re not as perfect as they think you are. Whereas holding it over your head allows me to do basically anything I want with you. And that, that is just so much fun,” he beams, lowering his voice into a whisper for the last sentence.

What a psycho, you thought. You just sighed once more and returned to your textbook, too weirded out to say anything back. You hoped the silence would make Sunghoon realize how creepy what he had just said was. 

It was quiet in the room, only the sound of your pencil scratching your notebook could be heard. Sunghoon sat in the same position and watched you working. He often saw you like this, focused and benched over a desk, in the library or walking past your classroom. But it was always in passing, and looking at you so closely made all the world’s difference. He could see how you scrunched your nose when the problem got particularly difficult, or how your smirk as you solved another one made your left dimple appear. He also liked the annoyed looks you gave him every once in a while, as if his presence was disturbing your focus. He wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something about seeing someone who always went about their way with such purpose sitting in such silence.

He decided to break that silence. “You know, Jay was asking about you earlier.”

You kept your eyes trained on your notebook but abruptly stopped writing, your pencil leaving a small scratch on the paper. This didn’t go unnoticed by Sunghoon. “Did he?” you said, trying to sound as uninterested as possible, although you couldn’t help but be curious. Ever since Jay and you had grown apart, there was always a part of you wondering what he was up to, how he was doing, if he thought of you once in a while or reminisced about the good old times as you sometimes did. 

“Yeah. I mean, everyone did, but I didn’t really care,” he answers simply, and even though you’re itching to push him to say more, you stay quiet. “You’re right, by the way, I do know the people in our school. The rumors have already started spreading. Up to you whether you wanna deny them or not, though,” he said with a smirk.

“Don’t even think about it, Park. There’s not a chance in hell I’ll let them think we have a thing going on. I have a reputation to uphold, you know.”

He chuckled. “Trust me, I know. Anyway, he wanted to know why you did that for me. Guess he was jealous you didn’t do it for him, too.”

“Why would he be?” you asked, trying to make the question sound as innocent as possible. 

“Well, you two go a long way back, right?” he asked tentatively, as if testing the waters.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Then it was probably weird for him to see his childhood best friend and his best bro interacting out of nowhere, even though we’ve both seen each other around a lot and nothing has ever come out of that. Don’t you think?”

A beat passed as you thought about it. “Yeah, I guess that’d look weird to him,” you replied, trying to keep the disappointment out of your voice.

You quickly wrote down your last answer, packed up your things, and stood up. “Well, I’m off now. I’ll see you around, unfortunately.”

Sunghoon, surprised at your quick departure, scrambled to get off his chair and chased after you. “Do you want me to drop you off? I’ve got a car, you know. Much more glamorous than the bus.”

You turned around and looked at him. “I’d rather get hit by said bus than get in your car, Park.”

He stood there, watching you walk away with a smirk on his face as your ponytail swayed from side to side. This was going to be a challenge. You were going to be a challenge. 

Thing is, he loved a good challenge.

—

Back home, you flopped down on your bed and buried your face in your pillow. You laid there for a few minutes, taking some time to gather your thoughts and try to understand Sunghoon’s actions. It was of no use; you weren’t a mind-reader, and he seemed impossible to figure out. He could make you do basically whatever he wanted to, and he decided to make you get him lunch, creating rumors along the way? What could he possibly get out of that?

Your reflexions were quickly interrupted, however, by a flurry of incoming messages on your phone. Someone had posted a photo of you handing his banana milk to Sunghoon on your school’s Instagram account - because apparently, your school was so obsessed with gossip that they had created an Instagram page just for it. The photo had blown up among your peers and it made you wonder if people really were that bored with their lives.

People you barely knew but that felt entitled to knowing your relationship status were DMing you, asking about today’s events. You quickly got tired of it, so you texted your worried and confused friends that you didn’t feel like talking tonight and would catch up with them tomorrow. You opened your textbook, deciding that studying would be the best and most efficient distraction.

When your parents called you and your siblings for dinner, you still weren’t feeling great. Your family quickly registered your annoyed expression and could only hope for the best. You already weren’t the easiest to live with, but when you were tired, you just got a hundred times worse.

“So, how was everyone’s day?” your mom asked cheerily.

Yeeun’s eyes lit up instantly. “Mine was great! I met a really cute boy. His name is Nishimura Riki and he just transferred from Japan.”

“Oh, that’s nice!”

“You’re too young to be thinking about boys, Yeeun.”

Your mom and dad had replied at the same time, then gave each other a stern look.

“I’m not thinking about him, Dad, just looking,” your sister replied, earning a chuckle from your concerned father. 

“Mine was alright. I guess the start-of-a-new-year excitement has already worn off. After a week,” Sunoo said with a sigh. 

Your mom turned to you. “What about you, Y/N?”

“It was fine.”

The sharpness of your tone changed the atmosphere in the room at once. You ignored the looks your family exchanged and continued eating your food, eyes not leaving your plate.

For some reason, Sunoo thought it’d be a great idea to chime in. “She’s not happy because she had to buy Park Sunghoon his lunch and everybody went crazy over it.”

“Sunoo!” you protested. Your parents didn’t need to know about this sort of stuff.

“Park Sunghoon? Is that someone we’re supposed to know?” your dad questioned.

Yeeun scoffed. “Uh, he’s only the most popular and handsome guy at Y/N and Sunoo’s school, dad. Duh.”

“Right. Duh,” your dad said, imitating your sister’s tone.

“And why did you have to buy his lunch, Y/N?” your mom asked.

“Because he saw what she looks like when she’s not at school,” Sunoo said, not even giving you the chance to reply yourself.

“Sunoo!” you scolded again.

“And now I guess he’s using that against her to get her to do what he wants? Right, Y/N?”

You glared at your brother and let a beat pass. “Right,” you reluctantly admitted.

“Lucky…” your sister mused, expression like she was daydreaming about being Sunghoon’s personal assistant.

Your dad ignored your sister and looked straight at you. “That’s inadmissible, Y/N. You can’t let him do that.”

“Your father’s right, sweetie. It’s not right,” your mom added when you stayed silent.

With everybody’s eyes on you, you felt obligated to reply. “It’s fine. It’s not like he asked me to do anything crazy. I’m sure he’ll stop soon enough.”

“You know, boys that age, they’ll do anything to get a girl’s attention,” your dad warned. “Just ignore him and he’ll go away.”

“If she ignores him, he’ll tell everyone what she’s really like,” your brother explained.

“And what’s so bad about that? I’m sure it’d be easier if you stopped lying to everyone.”

Everyone suddenly stopped in their motions, wondering why your mom would say something so true yet so controversial. You looked up at her. “What’s so bad about that? What’s so bad? I don’t know, maybe the fact that I’ve worked so hard all these years for everybody to like me and look up to me only for a stupid picture taken by a stupid boy to ruin everything,” you said all in one breath, voice coming out harsh. You were tired of having to explain the same thing over and over again - your parents just didn’t understand why you did what you did.

Your mom opened and closed her mouth again, knowing it was useless trying to talk sense into you. It never ended well when you had this conversation.

“Who put mushrooms in this anyway? You know I hate mushrooms,” you said before filling up your bowl and taking it to eat in your room, making sure you’d slammed your door behind you.

—

On the bus the next day, you tried to explain the events of the previous day to your friends.

“There’s nothing really to it. He just asked me to get him lunch so I did, and when I handed it to him, his whole class was there and saw everything.”

“I get that, but I just don’t understand why he made you do it in the first place, or why you agreed,” Heeseung said, “it’s so unlike the both of you to do something like that.”

You hadn’t even thought to come up with an excuse for your and Sunghoon’s yesterday - your friends were definitely super confused, but you didn’t want to tell them the truth, so you had to quickly find something to say that was somewhat believable, and change the subject.

“I have no idea why he did what he did, but I didn’t want to cause a scene so I just agreed. I don’t really care, to be honest, I just wish it didn’t have such consequences. People seem to think we’re characters on a stupid Netflix coming-of-age series or something, when we literally just go to their school.”

As soon as you’d turned your phone back on this morning, it started pinging with all the messages that had flown in since last night. People were talking about it everywhere: Kim Y/N, highly sought-after bachelorette, had offered Park Sunghoon, notorious rejecter of girls and breaker of hearts, a sandwich and a banana milk, and he had taken them. What’s more, he had been seen at lunch heartily eating them. This was serious.

You didn’t think things could get any worse until you got to school. You were used to random people coming up to you in the hallways or in class for help, except today they weren’t asking for help at all - they were asking what was up between you and Sunghoon, as though handing him a tuna mayo was like asking for his hand in marriage. Most of them were just curious, but some, especially his fanclub members, had an aggressive tone to their voice, which you weren’t used to. If people started liking you less because of Sunghoon, you were going to kill him.

But you had to hold onto that thought, because an all too familiar voice had suddenly called out to you on your way to class. You took a deep breath and turned around, watching him take long strides towards you. You immediately became aware of the amount of people in the hallway and realized you couldn’t talk to him like you had the previous day in front of everybody. You mustered the fakest smile you could and greeted him.

“Hi, Sunghoon. What can I help you with today?”

He smiled, obviously enjoying the fact that you had to be nice to him. “I’ve got my sports bag because of practice later tonight. Mind holding onto that for me for the day?”

Your fake smile turned a bit crazy as your eyes widened in disbelief. "Don’t you have a locker for that, Sunghoon?”

“Yeah, but it’s so much more fun if you’re the one to hold it.” And with that, he threw the bag in your direction, leaving approximately 0.5 seconds to catch it. “I’ll need that later today. Meet me in front of the locker rooms after school, yeah?”

He didn’t bother to wait for your answer and walked away, Jake and Jay following closely behind. Jay sent you a questioning look, to which you could only reply with a shrug. If it wasn’t for all the students in the hallway, you would’ve been yelling Sunghoon’s ear off at that point. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a possibility, so you just smiled to your friends who were looking more confused than ever.

“Let’s just go to class, guys.”

—

Throughout the whole day, you could feel people staring at you, then at the bag you were holding, then starting to whisper among themselves. You tried your best to concentrate in class so you could momentarily stop pondering over what Sunghoon’s evil master plan might be, but everyone seemed bent on making that usually simple feat impossible. When 3:30 p.m. finally came around, you bid your friends goodbye and headed to the boys’ locker room. Every boy walking in eyed you suspiciously, unsure as to what you could be doing there. Of course, Sunghoon had to take his sweet time to get there. 

Staring at the opposite wall and planning Sunghoon’s murder in your head, you hadn’t noticed Jay and Jake arriving. Jay signaled for his friend to go inside the locker room and told him he’d join him in a minute. He waved his hand in front of you to get your attention, a smile on his face. You sighed in relief at the familiar sight of your friend.

“Hey, Jay. Sorry I didn’t see you.”

“You okay, Y/N? You look like you’re about to murder someone,” he said, slightly amused.

“If only you knew,” you mumbled.

He noticed the bag in your hand. “You waiting for Sunghoon?”

“Yeah. If only he could hurry up a little bit. I’ve got stuff to do.”

There was something about Jay that made it impossible to lie to him. Maybe it was the fact that you had known each other for so long, way before you’d turned into what you were now, that made you feel as though showing a side of you that gets annoyed and impatient and doesn’t smile all the time was okay.

Jay looked at his feet before looking back up at you. You were still staring at the wall but your murderous thoughts had somewhat calmed. “Mind telling me what this whole thing with Sunghoon is about?”

You turned to him and were about to fumble for an answer when someone interrupted you. “What whole thing with me?”

Whew. Saved by Sunghoon. You didn’t like that it was thanks to him that you could get out of answering Jay, but at least you didn’t have to come up with yet another stupid excuse.

Jay turned his attention to his friend and stood up straighter. “You know, making her get you lunch or hold your bag all day. There’s dozens of girls who’d be more than happy to do that for you, so why Y/N? She doesn’t have time for this stuff.”

You looked at Jay with surprise. Sure, you were friends, but you hadn’t thought he’d defend you like that in front of Sunghoon.

“Well, Y/N’s just such a nice, reliable person. No one better to ask to do those things.” What a reason, you thought. He turned to you and took the bag from your hands. “Thanks, Y/N. I’ll see you outside in a couple minutes.”

“Huh? What do you mean? I’m leaving,” you said, body already headed towards the other direction.

“What? You can’t leave before practice has even started. Go to the benches outside, we’ll be out in a few.”

You were about to open your mouth to protest, but he cut you off. “You don’t want to?” He started pulling out his phone. “That’s funny, because there’s a pict-”

“I’ll be on the benches! See you soon!” you quickly said, pushing the two boys inside the locker room, Sunghoon smirking, Jay looking at you in utter confusion.

Girls sat in a few different groups in the bleachers. You recognized the girls in one of those groups, so you decided to sit with them. As you approached, they quickly looked at each other and then back at you, expressions half-friendly, half-what-the-hell-are-you-doing-here. 

“Hi guys! Mind if I join?”

“Hi Y/N! No, of course not, come sit,” Jake’s girlfriend, Yujin, said. 

“Are you guys here to watch practice?”

“Yeah! I’m here on girlfriend duties for Jake. These two are just here for the eye candy and to keep me company,” Yujin explained.

“Yeah, but mostly for the eye candy,” added her friend Wonyoung. 

“What about you, Y/N? I’ve never seen you here,” asked the last girl, Gaeul.

“Oh, um, Sunghoon asked me to come, actually.” You regretted your words as soon as you’d let them out. They all ooh-ed at your response, making you blush, which just egged them on. This was nothing to blush about, Y/N. You’d just made the rumors get a hundred times worse with one sentence.

“The whole school’s been talking about you two, you know. Anything you wanna share? Don’t worry, we can keep a secret,” said Wonyoung with a wink. You chuckled awkwardly.

“Oh my gosh, yes, tell us!”

“Guys, don’t make her uncomfortable,” Yujin chimed in, smiling at you. You returned her smile, grateful, once again, that you didn’t have to explain your new link to Sunghoon. “Look, practice is starting.”

You turned your head towards the field as the soccer players started doing laps as per the coach’s instructions. Your eyes immediately drifted towards Sunghoon without you even realizing it. His lean figure hypnotized you. The last time you had had PE with him was in freshman year, and puberty had hit him like a fine, fine truck. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him as he lightly jogged next to his friends, chatting like it was nothing. You weren’t being very subtle with your stare and he eventually noticed you, sending a wink your way. This made you snap out of your reverie and you scowled at him, as if he could make out your annoyed expression from such a distance. You turned back to the girls, who were giggling at you.

“Wow, those were some serious heart eyes you were giving him, Y/N,” Gaeul giggled.

You opened your mouth in mild shock. “Was not!”

“Sure, whatever you say,” she replied knowingly. “Well, look all you want. Warm-up is the best part. It gets boring when they actually start playing.”

“No way! Watching them play is my favorite part,” Yujin disagreed.

“Yeah, that’s cause you’ve got someone to root for,” retorted Wonyoung. She looked at you slyly. “Well, I guess Y/N does, too.”

You scoffed. “Believe me, I will not be rooting for him.”

You started staring at him again, this time with a glare in your eyes. From their silence, you deduced the girls must’ve judged it a better idea to not question you too much. After the boys were done with running exercises and stretching (which you had enjoyed watching a bit too much, if you spoke truthfully), they started playing. The coach split the boys into two teams, Jay leading one and Sunghoon the other. It was a very close game. You could never tell who was leading, although that might have been due to your extensive lack of knowledge in the sport. All you knew was that you desperately wanted to see Sunghoon lose; that might put him down a peg. What you told yourself, however, was that you wanted Jay to win. So when he scored a goal, you surprised the girls next to you, the boys on the field and yourself as you jumped up and down, cheering for him. Realizing what you were doing, you quickly sat down and sent him an awkward thumbs up.

Jay tried to hide it, but he was blushing. Hard. Truth be told, he had noticed your little eye contact moment with Sunghoon during warm-up and hadn’t particularly enjoyed it. So seeing you cheer for him like that made him swell with pride, which only grew when Sunghoon scored and you barely reacted. 

When the game was over, you thought you might be able to finally go home and start studying. But Sunghoon had other plans for you, as always these past couple days. Heading towards the showers, he motioned for you to come down from the benches. As you did, Jay walked past, and you smiled at each other.

“Good game.”

“Thanks, Y/N.” He continued walking as Sunghoon reached you.

“What about me? I scored a goal, too.”

“Oh, did you? Didn’t even notice," you said, looking at your nails. The polish was starting to chip - you’d need to reapply a layer tonight.

“Whatever. Wait for me, yeah?”

“What? No! I gotta go home!” But your protests were in vain, as he completely ignored you. 

You waited outside the school with Yujin, Wonyoung and Gaeul. After a little while, Jake, Jay and Sunghoon joined you guys, having successfully showered and not smelling of sweat and dirt, thank God. Yujin was dropping her boyfriend and her friends off, so they bid their goodbyes and headed towards her car. Sunghoon and Jay also started to walk towards the parking lot, leaving you standing alone, not sure what to do. Sunghoon turned around and looked at you with a frown.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t know, what are you doing?”

“I’m dropping you and Jay off.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, taken aback. “Didn’t know I was just supposed to guess that.”

As soon as Sunghoon started to drive, you noticed the awkward air between the three of you. Luckily, after years of being a people-pleaser, you had become somewhat of an expert in making small talk, which helped prevent a silent ride. You don’t think you could’ve gone through that without a mental breakdown.

Because you and Sunghoon lived closer to each other (and we all know the consequences of that), Jay was dropped off before you. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow at school,” he said before giving you a last glance.

“Bye, Jay.”

“See you, bro.”

Thankfully, you only lived a couple minutes by car from Jay’s and hoped the rest of the car ride would be peaceful. Which was really stupid of you to hope for, because you were in the car with Park Sunghoon.

“So, Park Jongseong, huh?” he said, eyes trained on the road in front of him. Even though he was trying to keep his tone light, you thought you detected a slight harshness to his gaze.

“What about him?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

“There’s nothing to say. We’ve just been friends for a long time.”

It was silent for about five seconds. “You really feasted your eyes during warm-up, huh?”

“Shut up, Park.”

“No, it’s alright, I get it. I’d do the same.” He laughed at his own joke that wasn’t really a joke. Why was he laughing, anyway? 

You looked at him. His face was so different from all those times you’d seen it at school. His eyes, rid of the harshness you’d seen earlier, crinkled at the edges and had an amused glint in them. His smile dug pretty dimples into his cheeks and you let your gaze linger long enough to notice he had sharp, vampire-like canines, which were surprisingly cute. You didn’t know why he was showing you a side of him he never showed anyone, except for his close friends, you assumed. You weren’t sure what overcame you, but you chuckled with him. 

“So, do you already know what task you’re gonna give me tomorrow?” you asked, genuinely curious.

“Hmm, haven’t really thought about it yet. I’d rather keep it a surprise, anyway. Keep you on your toes.”

“Pfft. What a great surprise.” He laughed again, and you couldn’t help but join him. He was unusually giddy that day, but you didn’t want to complain. This was a thousand times better than the arrogant Sunghoon with his I’m-better-than-all-of-you facade. What you didn’t know was that he, too, liked your snarky, no-nonsense side infinitely more than the model student, pretty girl persona you had created for yourself.

Finally at your house, you got out of the car and headed to your house after waving goodbye to Sunghoon. He rolled his window down and leaned out of it.

“Y/N?”

You turned around. “Yeah?”

“About your task tomorrow…”

“…Yeah?”

“I’m sure you’ll love it.” He gave you an umpteenth wink, rolled his window back up and drove off.

You weren’t so awful to your parents and siblings that evening.

—

The next day at school, you were wondering why Sunghoon had said you would love your task. Because you were, in fact, quite loathing it. He had found you studying during your free period after lunch and dragged you to the part of the library where it was okay to talk a bit over whisper level. You were currently going over a scene in The Tempest which you had seen in AP English Lit last year and clearly had no time for. But obviously, that wasn’t a problem to Sunghoon, who just wanted to get a passing grade on his English essay without putting in too much effort. 

After twenty minutes of going over the same five lines, you were about to give up. “Look, Sunghoon, I don’t mind helping you. I’ve tutored dozens of students before so I’m used to it. But you’re not making any effort! If you want to get it, you need to at least try.”

“But it’s so boring,” he whined, not unlike a child. “How am I supposed to find any meaning in this? It’s just stupid people doing stupid stuff on a stupid island.” You cringed at his words and hoped Shakespeare wasn’t listening in on this conversation. 

“It’s not stupid. It’s about power, and being punished for chasing it, and it’s a metaphor fo-”

“Ugh!” he groaned loudly. “You know what, I don’t care enough about this. Just write the essay for me, okay?” He got up and left, again not waiting for your answer. You wanted to protest, but you know what would happen if you said no to any of his requests, so you just quickly got to work.

Everyday over the next couple of weeks, Sunghoon would find something for you to do. Most days, he’d just get you to buy him lunch (although he thankfully had started paying you back) or carry his stuff around like the first two times. He didn’t ask you again to tutor him, however, so you had gotten used to sitting in an empty class together after class, you doing his homework for him and attempting (and failing) to explain it to him, and him alternating between playing on his phone and looking at you. Although it’d flustered you at first, not used to having someone stare at you while you were trying to concentrate, you’d grown somewhat okay with it - all of your complaints were ignored anyway. One time, he even got you to work on his science project with him, a weirdly-shaped volcano he needed to paint and decorate before actually putting the chemicals in. You’d be lying if you said it hadn’t been fun painting it together, occasionally ‘accidentally’ getting paint on the other’s hand or cheek instead of the volcano. 

You went to see him at practice two to three times a week, although you weren’t sure what use that had for him. If anything, you were probably the one who enjoyed yourself more. Perhaps, after being forced to spend so much time with him, you had started to soften up to him. And, perhaps, that made you appreciate his good looks even more. You couldn’t deny the effect his damp hair, stuck to his forehead with sweat, had on you. 

The rumors hadn’t died down, but people had started getting used to seeing the two of you together around, so they didn’t ogle their eyes at you everytime you and Sunghoon had some kind of interaction. Not liking that you couldn’t control people’s opinion of you anymore, you were still a bit bothered by them, but Sunghoon’s little posse of fangirls didn’t seem to be. They’d been the one to question you the most, and you got a few nasty looks in the hallway, but the gossip around school hadn’t stopped them from keeping on following him around, harassing him from morning to afternoon by going to his homeroom at breaks, sitting at a table near him at lunch, and going to see him at practice. Their group had dwindled down, though; most likely, some of them thought you two might be dating and had finally realized they didn’t stand a chance with the one and only Park Sunghoon. Thank God you had your friends and now sometimes Yujin, Wonyoung and Gaeul around you during those times, otherwise, you’d probably have been jumped. Spending so much time with him had kept you a couple times from your friends, which they’d complained about, but sensing that they couldn’t do much about it, they let you be, even though they hadn’t gotten a satisfactory explanation yet.

One person who didn’t want to, or rather couldn’t let it go, though, was Jay. He still couldn’t figure out why you’d started spending so much time with Sunghoon, seemingly overnight, and it created an unpleasant, sour pit in his stomach. Out of all the people you could’ve decided to form a new friendship with, why’d it have to be his best friend, meaning he saw you more often now than before, but not because he was the one you had come to see? Why did you never get him banana milk for lunch, and why’d you only start coming to soccer practice because Sunghoon had asked you to? He’d tried to ask both of you about it, but you always gave him half-assed excuses that didn’t make much sense. 

He realized what he was feeling was jealousy the day you came into their homeroom before the first bell rang and asked Sunghoon how his science project had gone. You’d never asked him how his science project, or any of his projects or tests, for that matter, had gone. He recognized it as the same feeling he had harbored when he had come back from the US in middle school and saw you dating Choi Soobin, or when Lee Heeseung had joined your tight-knit group of friends in freshman year. You and Soobin had only dated for three weeks and a half because you had a relationship-terminating argument over mint chocolate ice cream, and you and Heeseung had never become more than friends, nor had the intention to. But Jay didn’t care about that; all he saw was that there were boys around you that weren’t him. He had never acted upon those feelings, dismissing them as over-protectiveness for someone he had known since forever, but seeing Sunghoon and you laughing together hit too close to home. He couldn’t ignore how he felt because he was reminded of it everyday, but he didn’t know what to do with these newfound emotions.

And what’s the best thing to do whenever you don’t know what to do? Talk to your friends. Or well, in this case, your friend. He didn’t wanna talk about you to Sunghoon. He was a firm believer of bro code, but he didn’t wanna bottle up his feelings like he had all these years. So he went to Jake and told him everything, from your childhood friendship to Soobin, Heeseung and now Sunghoon.

“I know it’s stupid. It’s this whole cliché of, you only realize what you have when you lose it.”

“Well, you haven’t really lost Y/N, you know. It’s not like Sunghoon and her are dating.”

“I guess not, but he clearly likes her. It’d be a dick move to go after her now that they’ve got something going on.”

Jake hesitated for a second, debating whether he should say what he was thinking, but ultimately deciding it might be better to do it. “You know, I’m not sure that he does. You know what Sunghoon’s like. He’s never very honest about his intentions. I don’t wanna bring the subject up with him, cause I don’t wanna cause any drama, but it’s so suspicious to me that he’s suddenly spending time with Y/N when he’s never mentioned her all those years and when he rejects all these girls all the time.”

“I think it’s weird, too,” agreed Jay. “I just can’t seem to figure it out. And I’m a bit scared for Y/N, to be honest. Remember that girl in freshman year? They’d gotten along really well when he suddenly dropped her. I still remember his cold-ass stare when he turned her down. It even chilled me, man.”

“God, yeah, I always forget about that. He may be a jackass to all those girls, but when you know what he’s really like like we do, it seems so unlikely that he’d do something like that.”

Jay sighed and looked out into the distance. “I just hope he doesn’t hurt Y/N.”

Jake looked at his friend, thinking how to phrase his next sentence. “Like I said, I don’t wanna cause any drama… but, man, if you don’t want him to hurt Y/N, just don’t let him. If you make a move on her, you might get to her before he does. Better to do that now than to have to pick up the pieces, don’t you think?”

Jay mentally thanked the heavens for gifting him with a friend like Sim Jaeyun. “Yes, that is much, much better.”

He was going to stop sitting on his feelings and finally let them see the light.

—

But before that, Sunghoon had another one of his requests for you. You were sitting together in an empty classroom after school as you often did these past weeks. For you, today was an ordinary day, but the boy in front of you had something else in mind. He wasn’t saying anything but you could feel his nervousness and it was starting to make you feel anxious as well.

You lifted your head from your notes and looked at Sunghoon who seemed lost in his thoughts. “What is it, Sunghoon?”

This made him snap out of his reverie. “Um, nothing.”

“Well, seeing how you’ve been tapping your foot at the speed of lightning ever since we got here, it doesn’t seem like nothing.” You crossed your arms over the table and looked at him more intently, eyes asking him to tell you what was on his mind.

He sighed, giving in. “I was just thinking… there’s something I wanna tell you.”

“Go on. “

“I need you to date me.”

Your breath caught in your throat. Park Sunghoon… needed you… to date him? Was he asking you out? The way he’d worded it was a bit odd, but you didn’t put it past him.

Taking in your silence and wide eyes, he quickly added: “Not in that way! I, um, need you to be my fake girlfriend.”

Oh.

So he wasn’t asking you out. You weren’t sure why that made you so upset, but you tried to keep the disappointment out of your eyes and voice.

“Right,” you said, tone a bit harsher than you’d meant it to, “and why would I do that?”

Sunghoon smirked lightly. “Well, first of all, you don’t have much of a choice.” You rolled your eyes at that. It’d been a few days since the reason why you had started hanging out in the first place had come up, and you didn’t like to be reminded of that god-forsaken picture. 

“And second of all… I guess I should be completely honest with you.” This piqued your interest, and you leaned back on your chair to listen to him. 

“When I saw you at the store and took pictures of you, I wasn’t really thinking of doing anything. Maybe just get a laugh or two and tease you about it. I even told you outside the store that I didn’t know what I was gonna do. To be honest, I didn’t really think there was anything you could do for me that I’d need to force you to do. So I thought about it all night. And I asked myself, what’s the thing that pisses me off the most at school that you could change?” he looked at you expectantly, as if you could figure it out. You just shrugged.

“It’s those girls that keep following me around. All these years, I’ve acted like a giant asshole with them and still they think they have a crush on me or whatever. And I’ve never liked any of them, they’re all so superficial and ask me out without having ever talked to me before. So I thought, hey, maybe if I have a girlfriend, they’ll leave me alone. Which is why I made you do all those things for me.”

“So that they’d think we were dating?” you asked, trying to take all this information in. You’d sort of known it this entire time, but Sunghoon blatantly admitting he’d been using you hurt nonetheless.

“Yeah. But obviously, you always denied the rumors, so it hasn’t worked as well as I thought it would. It still did a bit though. So I think, if we take it the next step, and actually pretend we’re dating, it should really work. But I need your full cooperation on this, okay?” He looked at you, hopeful eyes and hands in prayer.

You sighed. As he said, it wasn’t like you had much of a choice.

“Please, Y/N? I really want them off my back.”

“Fine, Park, I’ll do it. But this better be the last thing you make me do.” You couldn’t help but sound cold. This made you rethink these past few weeks’ events. Were you the only one actually enjoying spending time together?

“Thanks, Y/N. And yeah, of course. You won’t have to carry my bag or get my lunch anymore if you want. Maybe it’ll be more believable if I do that for you.”

You had focused your attention back to your homework, wanting this conversation to be over as soon as possible.

“I’ll also pick you up in the morning, so you don’t need to take the bus.”

You hummed in response.

“Um, and I’ll also drop you off after school and after practice…” Sunghoon trailed, troubled by your silence. You hadn’t been so cold since the first couple times you two had talked, and he hated the idea that that might be because of what he had just said. So he took a chance.

“You know, Y/N, this doesn’t change anything. I wouldn’t have made you do all those things if I didn’t like spending time with you. You’re really nice to be around,” he admitted shyly.

You were far too flustered to lift your head and let him see your face. You just grinned and murmured, “Whatever, Park.”

—

Sunghoon kept his promise and picked you up in the morning. He called you at exactly 7:55 a.m., saying he was waiting outside and you rushed out of your house, piece of toast still in your mouth. In the car, you two went over what being in a fake relationship would involve.

“We just need to be seen around together, right?” you proposed, hoping your lack of experience wasn’t showing.

Thankfully, Sunghoon had no idea what being in a relationship, fake or not, entailed either. “Yeah, I think. And maybe…” he hesitated. 

“Maybe?” you prodded, hoping he wouldn’t (or actually would, but you’d never admit it) say what you thought he was about to say.

“I don’t know, like, hold hands, and… kiss.” The last part had barely been audible, but you’d still heard it.

“Kiss?” you echoed, voice almost a shriek. “I don’t think we need to go that far, Sunghoon.” A little voice in your head was saying that you’d really like to go that far but you made it shut up.

He was blushing profusely but didn’t want to drop the subject there. “At least on the cheek, or something. We do have to make it believable.”

And there it was. The little sentence, reminding you none of this was real. Seemed like that was a pattern in your life.

You looked out the window. Sunghoon glanced over at you, cursing himself for always saying the wrong thing. He was trying so hard to drown his blooming feelings for you that he kept on hurting you in the process. This whole fake-dating plan was the perfect excuse for him to spend more time with you without having to come to terms with his feelings. 

“C’mon, Y/N, it’ll be fun. Promise.” He nudged your arm playfully, making you look at him. His smile was contagious; you could never help yourself but start grinning when you saw his face light up like that. Maybe he’s right, you thought. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

When you arrived at school, Sunghoon told you to wait for a second. He got out of the car and quickly walked around to your side, opening the door for you. You hated how your heart fluttered at the sweet gesture, reminding yourself it was just for show. The important part was that it fooled everyone else, and it did - as you took Sunghoon’s hand, letting him help you out of the car, and walked with him hand in hand towards the school gates, you could feel all eyes on you. You could hear whispers of see, I told you they were dating! and defeated no ways. 

You realized you didn’t care about what anybody might be seeing, which was a first for you. You’d always made sure everybody saw you exactly the way you wanted to see them. As he was the most popular guy in school, dating Park Sunghoon at once helped your reputation and put you on many girls’ bad side. But holding his hand, you felt as though there was some kind of barrier protecting you. You’d never felt so exposed and so safe at the same time.

You noticed Jay standing next to the gates, looking particularly antsy. He’d texted you that morning, saying there was something he wanted to tell you. Usually, you’d have stayed up, overthinking what that could be, but what with today being the day you’d announce yourself to the world (your school) as Park Sunghoon’s (fake) girlfriend, you had had other things to worry about. You gestured at Sunghoon towards Jay. Your friend only saw you when you were calling his name, standing right in front of him.

“Oh, hi, Y/N! I-” 

He immediately cut himself off when he saw yours and Sunghoon’s interlaced fingers. Embarrassed, you took your hand out of your fake boyfriend’s, opting for holding onto his pinky instead, not realizing that it was a much cuter action that made one boy’s heart flutter and the other’s fill up with sadness.

“There was something you wanted to tell me?” you asked with a small smile.

“Uh- yeah, but it’s not important, actually. We can talk about it later.”

“Oh, you sure?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” He returned your smile, hoping to make the situation less awkward. It was very obvious he didn’t want to say whatever it was he needed to tell you in front of Sunghoon, which you had both understood.

Sunghoon spoke up. “Right, well I’ll see you in class, Jay. Y/N, I’ll walk you to yours.” And with that, he started walking, holding his friend’s gaze for a few steps. You turned back to look at Jay for a split second, trying to decipher what had just happened, but Sunghoon grabbed you by the waist, making you look up at him in surprise, and breaking Jay’s heart even further.

—

Once Sunghoon and you got to your class, you felt as though you were in one of those movies where the boy drops the girl off at her house after their first date. Except that this was in a crowded school hallway two minutes before the first bell rang. What you had in common with that girl from the movie, however, was that you were freaking out over what your boy was going to do next. In the car, you’d ended up agreeing to a kiss on the cheek, but you hadn’t realized it would be happening so soon.

As you two hovered around your classroom’s door, you looked at each other and giggled. Damn, you were selling this well. So well that if you could have ascended out of your body and looked at the scene as a third party, you’d probably have barfed all over yourself. 

You were still holding his pinky. You could tell he was too hesitant to do anything now that you had reached the classroom, and so you mustered all of your courage, stood on your tippy toes and softly pressed your lips to his cheeks. (You were pretty sure you’d heard gasps around you.) Your courage went as fast as it came, and as realization hit you, you quickly squeaked “bye, Sunghoon” and practically ran to your seat. The boy stood there for another second or two, hand going to his cheek where you had just kissed him. He walked happily to his own classroom, completely oblivious to the stares he was receiving.

Heeseung, Jiung and Sieun were looking at you in disbelief as you approached them. Sumin, on the other hand, looked like she had paid no attention whatsoever to the scene.

“Y/N,” Sieun teased in a sing-song voice. “Care to explain what just happened?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve actually managed to make the oh-so-great Park Sunghoon fall for you?” Jiung asked jokingly. 

You looked down in an attempt to hide your grin. You usually did that sort of stuff to appear humble when someone complimented you, but this time it was completely genuine. The mere thought of Sunghoon made you all giddy inside. “Um, yeah, he actually asked me to be his girlfriend last night.”

Your three friends gasped dramatically and Sieun pulled you into a hug, as if you’d just received an award of some kind. Heeseung and Jiung patted your shoulders, congratulating you.

“Sumin? Did you know about this?” Sieun enquired, turning to your friend.

“What? Oh, yeah, Y/N called me last night,” she answered, briefly looking at you before turning back to her phone. Sieun looked at you, surprised, not understanding Sumin’s reaction to what seemed like happy news.

You had indeed called Sumin the previous night, and the call had gone similarly to the way she was behaving this morning. Although you usually told her everything, this time, you didn’t want to share the fact that you and Sunghoon were only fake dating. You found yourself actually wanting it to be true - and you thought it’d be easier to believe it yourself if everyone, including your best friend, did too.

“Minie! I’ve got some news,” you’d said as soon as she picked out.

“Ooh! Hit me,” she’d replied with as much excitement in her voice as you.

“So…” you’d started, already giggling. “Sunghoon’s just asked me out. I haven’t told anyone else, I wanted you to be the first to know.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. After a while, you added, “Minie, you still there?”

“Huh? Yeah, um, that’s nice, Y/N, I’m happy for you,” she said, not sounding happy at all. There was no trace of excitement left in her voice.

“Yeah, thanks,” you replied, voice ten times smaller than a minute ago.

“I’m sorry Y/N, but I’ve got to go, my parents are calling me. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She hung up suddenly, giving you no time to say bye in return. You were completely confused. Was Sumin bothered by you and Sunghoon dating? Other than a reminder about his past behavior, she hadn’t said anything when you two were getting closer. So what was wrong? You’d hoped you’d find out the next day at school, but the way she was acting didn’t help at all.

You snapped out of your flashback when Heeseung nudged you, faking a pout. “Not fair! Why did she get to know before we did?”

You forced a smile and said you’d known you’d see them the next day and thought it was better to tell them in person, and that you had just wanted to rant to someone quickly. Your teacher came in as the bell rang and everyone went to their seat. During class, you tried getting her attention so you could ask her if she was okay but she kept her attention on the teacher the whole time. 

After that, as time went by, you kept up your charade of being the perfect student as usual, adding to that of being the perfect girlfriend to Sunghoon. Time with him passed by so quickly: you hadn’t realized you were more than halfway through the semester until you needed to wear a thicker jacket outside and the leaves had started falling, covering school grounds in shades of brown. The plan had worked: he was finally left alone by his admirers. Sumin had stopped being weird after a few days, saying she had had some problems with her parents but hadn’t gone into more detail. Everything was as great as it had ever been: good grades, good friends and a good boyfriend. Well, fake boyfriend, which you needed to remind yourself a bit too often, on the days Sunghoon didn’t do it himself. You felt a pinch in your heart every time he said something like, “there’s my fake girlfriend!” when it was just the two of you, or “great job today, Y/N” after dropping you off.

One day as you arrived home, Yeeun was waiting outside your house, trying to catch you red-handed. She dragged him inside by the arm and you panicked, not wanting him to see how you lived. But your messy room and invasive siblings didn’t scare him off at all; on the contrary, he smiled one of the biggest smiles you’d ever seen on him, canines and dimples on display. Your mom made him stay over for dinner and it was probably the happiest dinner you’d ever had. The idea of bringing someone home and having them see your habits and odd family dynamics had terrified you for the longest time, but you felt so comfortable around Sunghoon that it felt as if he was part of your home as soon as he’d stepped foot inside. You didn’t feel the need to hide anything from him.

After dinner, he helped your parents clear up the table and even washed the dishes, even though they kept insisting he didn’t have to do anything. He had completely won them over. They sat at the table and watched you two laugh together in the kitchen. They looked at each other, knowing they were thinking the exact same thing: their daughter hadn’t looked this happy in a while.

When you were done cleaning up, you two headed to your room under the pretense of needing to study. 

“Alright, but keep the door open!” your mom had yelled after you, making you groan and Sunghoon’s face turn crimson red.

You really had planned on studying - there was a big test coming up and you couldn’t afford to get a bad grade. When you got your physics textbook out, Sunghoon groaned in protest.

“What? You seriously want to study right now?”

You sighed. “I don’t necessarily want to, no, but I need to. And so do you, may I add.”

“We’re not even in the same physics class!”

“Yeah, but we both have Mr. Cho, so I know you’re gonna have a test as well.”

He rolled his eyes and dramatically flung himself on your bed. “Fine.”

When he didn’t move for a few minutes, you guessed what he had meant was that he’d let you study but wasn’t going to do it himself. But after ten minutes, he suddenly got up. “I’m bored to death, Y/N. The test isn’t in another week. Show me what you do for fun,” he said, on the verge of desperation. It had only been ten minutes, but you felt bad having him over and not entertaining him.

“Well, I do have a Switch…” Sunghoon’s eyes widened in awe. “I guess we can play Mario Kart.”

He almost squealed in joy at that. You just chuckled at him, not knowing he was such a fan of car video games. 

“I’m gonna crush you, Kim. Get ready,” he said, already looking victorious.

You smirked, not wanting him to get his hopes up. “Oh, it’s on, Park.”

As expected of a pro player like you (on non-schooldays, you could stay up all night playing this game), you won every single round. Sure, he gave you a run for your money, but you always came on top. He took it surprisingly well, congratulating you each time. After your fourth win in a row, you wiggled your face in front of his with a devilish smile, as you couldn’t help but torment him a little. But he wasn’t smiling. At first, you’d thought he was finally getting mad he kept on losing; but then the proximity between you two hit you. You noticed his eyes flicker momentarily to your lips and had backed off immediately.

“Um, if we go for another round, I’ll go easy on-”

He cut you off by putting his hand on your cheek, making you turn to look at him. You’d daydreamed about this moment before, but you hadn’t imagined your heart beating this fast or the butterflies eating away at your stomach. He was now fully staring at your lips, and you couldn’t look at anything else but his either. Too scared to move an inch, you felt him get closer and closer, so close that his lips were almost on-

“Y/N, mom says it’s late and Sunghoon needs to- AH!”

Sunoo had walked in, eyes riveted on his phone until he looked up and saw you and Sunghoon suspiciously close to each other. Sunghoon practically leaped off of your bed in surprise and you flung a pillow over your face, not believing you had almost kissed Park Sunghoon but that your stupid little brother had ruined everything.

“Sorry! I’m sorry!” the culprit squeaked before running away. You and Sunghoon looked at each other. It was awkward for two seconds, then you both erupted in laughter. 

“Alright, guess I should get going then. Um, thank you so much for tonight. I haven’t had a family dinner in a while, and… Well, it was really nice,” he admitted shyly after you’d calmed down.

“Of course, Sunghoon. I’m sure my parents would love to have you over any time.”

You walked him to your front door, where you exchanged goodbyes and I’ll see you tomorrows. You watched him take a few steps, then turn back and jog towards you. He stood in front of you for a second, then leaned down and placed a kiss on your forehead.

“Bye, Y/N.”

You were too stunned to say it back.

—

After the almost-kiss, it felt as though something had changed between you and Sunghoon. The event had somewhat revealed your feelings: you both knew you wanted to kiss each other. But since those feelings hadn’t been acted upon, the transition from fake-dating to real dating couldn’t happen as smoothly. Well, it could, if you two stopped acting like idiots and told each other how you felt. But the author wanted to get a couple more thousand words in, so it had to wait.

You’d gotten used to Sunghoon’s little requests at school, but you definitely hadn’t anticipated a phone call at past 11pm on a Wednesday night. 

“Sunghoon? Why are you calling me so late?” you asked, groggy voice because of sleep. Since you woke up so early to get ready in the morning, you always went to bed around 9:30 to 10 p.m. Sunghoon was making you lose precious minutes of slumber.

“Late? It’s barely midnight, Y/N.” You groaned. “Whatever, put on some clothes and come outside! I’m waiting for you.”

“You’re what?” you whisper-screamed, suddenly feeling very awake.

“I’m waiting for you! Hurry up!” 

As always, he hung up without waiting for your reply. You couldn’t really turn him down anyway; although you were somewhat obligated, you had stopped seeing it that way and started doing things for him out of your own volition. 

Not wanting to get out of your pajamas, you just threw on a warm sweater, a scarf, some socks, and headed down the hallway on your tiptoes. Your parents weren’t the strictest out there, but you still didn’t wanna get caught sneaking out, and with a boy, at that. After putting on your shoes, you left your house, closing the door behind you as quietly as you could.

The late October night was a bit chilly, but you had wrapped up warm enough. Sunghoon was indeed waiting for you outside, wearing a denim jacket over his gray sweatshirt and matching sweatpants. 

God, he looked good.

“Finally! Took you long enough.”

“Quit it, Sunghoon. Just tell me why you wanted to see me.”

“There’s a place I wanna show you. Come on,” he said, taking you by the hand. You felt tingles in your palm and fingers wherever his hand touched yours. How could something feel so natural yet make your heart race so at the same time?

“Are we walking there?” you asked.

“Yep, it’s not too far. We’ll be there in five minutes.”

Those five minutes felt like five seconds walking with Sunghoon. You chatted and joked around the whole way, not letting go of each other’s hand. You hadn’t even noticed you had reached your destination until he stopped walking.

“Here we are,” he said, facing the building, which made you turn in the direction he was looking.

“The ice rink? What are we doing here?” you asked, confused. It was 11:30 pm; surely, the rink would be closed.

“You’ll see!” he said, heading towards the entrance. To your surprise, he pulled out a key from his pockets and opened the doors.

“What? Sunghoon! How do you have a key to the ice rink?”

“I’m chummy with the janitor. I just need to let him know when I’ll be coming and he doesn’t tell anyone,” he replied, an easy smile on his face, as if this was the most normal thing in the world. He led you first to the shoe rack, helping you find skates your size, and then to the benches next to the rink’s entrance. He knelt in front of you and helped you put on your shoes, doing the laces for you. 

He looked up at you, a glint in his eyes. “I’ve never taken anyone here, Y/N. I know your secret, so I thought I’d show you mine.”

You didn’t know what to say, surprised at the sudden confession, so you just looked at him curiously as he took ice skates from his backpack and laced them up.

He stood up, turned to you and said, “Ready?”

You followed him to the doors leading to the ice. He stepped inside without a trace of hesitation, but you were much more doubtful about your ability to stand on the ice without falling instantly. He turned around and saw you looking helpless. He took your hand in his, helping you step onto the rink. 

“Don’t worry, Y/N. As long as I’ve got you, you won’t fall.”

“Don’t let go of my hand, then,” you said pointedly.

Too focused on not slipping, you didn’t see his smile. “I wasn’t planning to.”

He helped you get your footing, skating backwards in front of you and holding both of your hands. After a few minutes on the ice, you got brave enough to skate on your own, and you miraculously managed to stay on your feet. However, after a while, your bravery turned to hubris, and you dared attempt a spin, resulting in you miserably falling on the ice, butt first. Sunghoon was worried for a second until he saw you laughing uncontrollably. You looked at him, wide-eyed, and said, “This is so much fun, Hoon.” You were so exhilarated that you hadn’t noticed the nickname slipping from your lips but the boy’s cheeks and ears turned redder than the bruise you had surely just earned yourself. Thankfully, if you commented on it, he could just blame it on the cold. 

He helped you up, and you skated on as if nothing had happened. This went on for another thirty minutes, you skating hand in hand and occasionally falling together (but most of the time, just you falling on your own). Sunghoon had been so nervous before bringing you here; he was scared you’d think his hobby was unmanly or lame, as he’d been made to feel. But seeing you have the time of your life, all his worries dissipated. This place was like a second home to him, and bringing someone into your home was always nerve-wracking, but he thought you fit perfectly in it. 

When you told him you were getting tired and wanted to sit for a while, you skated back together to the benches and he gave you some water from his bag. You sat in silence for a while, waiting for your breathing to come back to a normal pace. 

You broke the silence first. “So, why’d you take me here? Not that I’m complaining.”

He hesitated a second before speaking. "I used to come here all the time as a kid.” He didn’t look at you when he answered, keeping his gaze on his hands. “My mom would take me. She left us for another man the summer before middle school started. She left me alone with my asshole father.”

You let out a small gasp, not expecting such a confession. You placed your hand on his back for comfort and said, “I’m sorry, Sunghoon.”

He quickly glanced at you, a half-smile on his face. “Don’t be. Anyways, he had to somewhat start taking care of me now that my mom wasn’t there to do it.” He chuckled darkly. “I guess his idea of taking care of his son was forbidding him from doing the one thing he loved. He thought it was a stupid sport for a boy. He stopped all of my lessons and made me sign up for soccer, even though I hadn’t ever said I wanted to do that. I still came here from time to time, but I didn’t wanna risk getting caught. God knows what he’d have done if he saw me here.”

You weren’t sure what to say. You felt as if no words would be enough to express how his story made you feel. “I- it’s awful, what he did to you. No parent should ever make their child feel as though their passion isn’t worth it. If it’s any comfort, even though you were mostly helping me, I thought you looked ten times better on that rink than scoring any goal. And that’s saying something.”

He finally looked at you and grinned. “Thanks, Y/N.” He seemed to be thinking for a few seconds, and then continued: “I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, and I think that’s why it’s hard for me to open up to people and make lots of friends. I only trust Jake because I’ve known him forever and I can’t really get rid of him now,” he said with a chuckle, “and Jay, well, Jake took to him instantly in middle school so I guess I didn’t have a choice there either, and he’s not so bad anyway. The more people I let in, the more likely I am to get hurt. It’s much easier pretending I don’t wanna have anything to do with anyone than try. 

“I guess it’s also why I talked to you on that day. Sure, I ended up thinking you could help me with all those girls. But at first, when I saw someone like you, who looks like they have it all together, who’s actually the opposite in real life - no offense - it reminded me of myself. And I thought, maybe she’d understand. Which is why it was so easy to be myself around you.”

You took his hand in yours and pressed it slightly. “I’m glad you were.” You didn’t feel the need to say anything else, hoping it was enough.

“Now, your turn. What made you the person you are today?” he asked with a grin, trying to approach lightheartedly this heavy subject, which you appreciated.

“It’s all about making people think you’re someone else, isn’t it? Because, depending on who you are, they’ll treat you differently. I found that out as a kid, because I, too, have a tragic childhood backstory.” He gasped jokingly.

“It’s not as bad as yours, so sorry about that. Back in primary school, I already had this… attitude that I have today. I had quite the ego, and I didn’t want anyone doing better than me at school. I didn’t care about how I looked, if I was the prettiest girl in class or had the cutest shoes. I was the smarty-pants of the class, basically, and a lot of the kids teased me for that. But I also didn’t let myself get trampled over, and fought back, quite aggressively at that, so I was somehow the nerd and the troublemaker at the same time. I didn’t have the best reputation, but I did have a friend. Jay. Or Jongseong, at the time, before he got too cool for his real name,” you joked. “The thing is, I didn’t see him as a friend. Sure, I was only eight or nine, but I really liked him. And the day I was planning on confessing, I saw him hold hands with the prettiest girl in our class. So I never told him, and then he left for the US a few months later.

“During the time he was gone, I had a complete makeover and actually started caring about my appearance, especially when middle school started. So now I had academic validation from teachers, which I had craved since forever, and both female and male validation from all the girls telling me how pretty I was and all the guys liking me. The people who were in my primary school and went to the same middle school told them how I used to be, but nobody believed them, and if they did, they didn’t care, so everybody just gradually forgot about it. And I just got addicted to the validation, which is why I always studied harder and tried to be prettier, even when it turned into a complete lie. I thought that if I could make everyone believe I was perfect, then it didn’t matter what I was like in real life, so at home, I just let myself completely go. And even now that I’m aware of all of this, I still can’t stop.”

Sunghoon looked at you like you had just slapped him. “So, you used to have a crush on Jay?”

You looked at him in exasperation. “Seriously, Hoon? That’s what you get from everything I just told you?”

He smiled shyly. “Sorry. Thank you for telling me.” You sat there in comfortable silence for another few minutes, still hand in hand. Then, Sunghoon got up, grin on his face.

“Wanna see something cool?” You nodded at him, returning his grin. He headed back inside the rink.

You thought he was gonna show off by doing some fancy trick. But he started gliding on the ice, and you couldn’t believe what you were seeing. He took long strides that looked as natural to him as walking. He spinned one, two, three times, and continued skating as though it was nothing. You were completely mesmerized. You already thought he was out-of-this-world beautiful, but his beauty was brought to another level when he skated. His elegant moves rendered you breathless. When he skated back towards you, you were looking at him with only awe and admiration in your eyes. 

After what he’d told you and what he’d just shown you, you couldn't help but get a little emotional. You engulfed him in a hug as soon as he’d stepped out of the rink, your arms around his neck and his naturally coming to your waist. Your hands came up to his cheeks as you leaned back to properly look at him.

“That was- wow. That was amazing, Sunghoon. Thank you for showing me.” You could see the gratefulness in his eyes. There was something else there, and whatever it was, you knew you were looking back at him with as much of it. It was only you two in the building, but it might as well have been the two of you in the whole world. 

All too similarly as in your room, his gaze went from your eyes to your lips, and you couldn’t help but mirror that. This was the perfect moment. You inched your face closer, letting him close the gap between you. Your lips touched and it was as if everything fell into place. The kiss was shy at first, neither of you sure what to do, your mouths moving at a slow but steady pace. But as your hands traveled from his cheeks, to his jaw and down to his neck, and you felt him sigh in the kiss, something unclicked in you, making you want more. You deepened the kiss, and he returned it with just as much force. Your right hand came to grab at the nape of his hair and his hands gripped your waist tighter. After minutes or hours, you broke the kiss in need of some air. Your eyes met again and you smiled at him, relieved it had finally happened. 

You thought he’d have a similar reaction, but he suddenly looked panicked. Realization hit him like a truck. He liked you. Far too much. And even if the kiss and these past weeks told him you might like him back, it scared him. He’d unlocked his heart for you but couldn’t let you keep the key. Otherwise, he’d let you open it more and more and more until there he was completely bare in front of you, and you decided you didn’t like what you’d found and left him. Just like his mom did. Just like everyone eventually does. Just like his dad never even tried.

He took a step back. His panic was rubbing off on you. You called out his name, but he quickly got his bag and said, “Sorry, Y/N, I have to go. I’ll um- I’ll see you.” He took a few steps, turned around, and said, “I think you should take the bus tomorrow morning. Sorry.”

He started walking away. A few steps before he’d be out of your view, he turned back around. He hated the look on your face, how sad, confused and helpless it was all at once. Above all, he hated that he was the reason behind it. But he told himself it was better to leave you now than be left in a few months when you got bored of him, and started walking again without another word.

—

You walked home alone. It was a dark November night, and you were shivering from the cold and from sadness. Try as hard as you might, you couldn’t figure out why Sunghoon had reacted like that. The past month had gone so well, you were only getting closer and more comfortable with each other. The only logical conclusion you could come to was that kissing you had made him realize he didn’t like you. Thankfully, you didn’t live too far from the ice rink and you got home in five minutes. Lost in your thoughts, you couldn’t even be bothered to be quiet closing the front door and walking to your room, and you woke Sunoo up.

At first, he looked like he was about to scold you for making so much noise; but upon seeing your disheveled state, he started worrying. 

“Y/N? What’s wrong, why are you only coming home now? Where were you?”

You couldn’t hold it in any longer. You fell in your brother’s arms and started crying your heart out.

He held you for a little while, but not wanting to wake the others up by staying in the hallway, he said, “Come on, let’s get you in your room. You’re freezing.”

He left for a few minutes and came back with two cups of tea in his hands. He joined you on your bed. You had calmed down a bit and took a sip of the tea, already feeling warmer.

“So, tell me everything.”

And you did. Not just about what had happened at the ice rink, but everything before that: how yours and Sunghoon’s relationship was fake, which you hadn’t even told your siblings, but that it hadn’t kept you from falling for him, and how you really thought he felt the same way. When you got to the part where you told each other about your stories, Sunoo grabbed your arm in surprise, and said, “I can’t believe you told someone about that. Good for you, big sis.”

You sat in silence after a few minutes when you’d finished telling him everything, you, still reflecting on your evening, and him, trying to think of something good to say. He took a deep breath, and started: “You know, this might be completely useless, but I feel like there’s no point trying to figure out why he did that. We’re not mind readers, and assuming things will just go wrong. I think the best thing to do is just ask him tomorrow, or whenever you’re ready to face him, really.”

You looked at your brother fondly. “How can you be so stupid sometimes, yet so wise right now?”

Sunoo and you talked for another minute, but when you yawned for a good seven straight seconds, you both agreed it was time for bed. Before you fell asleep, you told yourself that tomorrow morning, you’d find Sunghoon and make him be clear with you. You at least deserved that.

—

Heeseung and Sumin were clearly surprised to see you the next morning in the bus, but you told them you didn’t want to talk about it and they didn’t push, although it very obviously had something to do with Sunghoon. As you rode the bus and psyched yourself for your conversation with him, you had no idea he was currently in the midst of a heated argument with Jay. The latter pushed him with force, making Sunghoon’s back hit the classroom wall behind him.

“What the fuck did you just say about Y/N?” Jay asked, venom in his voice and fury in his eyes.

Despite the pain, Sunghoon smirked, wanting to rile up his friend even more. “I said, Y/N’s just as stupid as all the other girls. She probably thinks she’s so much better than everybody, but in the end it was so easy making her fall for me. It was almost boring, really, how easy she was.”

Jay pushed him again. “Don’t fucking talk about her like that.”

“Aw, little Jay is getting upset over his little Y/N? You sad that the girl you like actually likes an asshole like me?”

Jay hadn’t had many reasons to get angry in his life. This was making him discover another side of himself; he didn’t know he could get this angry. He didn’t know rage could fill up his veins like that and make him want to destroy absolutely everything around him, but above all, the person in front of him who’d he considered a friend all these years. On the verge of losing control, he reared up his fist, before Sunghoon said:

“You know what’s even sadder? She used to like you, too.”

His arm dropped. “What?”

“Yeah, in primary school. Didn’t you think it was weird how different she was before and after you left? Her little heartbreak made her change everything about herself just so that people would like her. And now all she can do is lie to everyone. I pity her, really. And to think that she thought I liked her. What an idiot.”

That was the last straw. Jay punched Sunghoon square in the nose, making him stumble back a few steps until he hit the wall again. He held onto his bloody, and possibly broken, nose and looked Jay straight in the eyes, still smirking. Thinking his job was done (but not sure what the job was in the first place), he walked away, heading to the nurses’ station. The scene had gathered quite an audience outside. It was less than ten minutes to the first bell, so already quite a few students were there, but no one had dared to venture inside. Jake, arriving too late to prevent any damage, looked wide-eyed back and forth between Sunghoon walking out and Jay standing inside, fists clenched by his side and panting from anger.

Sunghoon barely spared him or anyone a glance as he left the room. What he did notice though, were a crumpled tuna-mayo sandwich and a banana milk on the floor, looking as though someone had dropped them.

What had he done?

—

You had already run back to your friends and were currently crying for the second time in twelve hours in Sumin’s arms. It was the first time ever you cried at school, and probably also in front of your friends, spare Sumin, so it was a curious sight to most; she took you to another room for privacy. 

There, you practically told her everything you had told Sunoo the night before, including the fake dating.

“Wait… so, you and Sunghoon weren’t actually dating?”

You nodded, embarrassed by your lie.

“I- Why didn’t you tell me, Y/N? How could you fool everyone like that?”

You looked up in surprise at your friend’s harsh words. You probably deserved them, but you weren’t used to hearing her speak in such a way, nor to the cold stare she was peering down at you with. 

“I don’t know… I’m really sorry…” you mumbled, ashamed.

She scoffed. “You should be. I just- I just don’t understand how you can already be living such a lie, and still add onto it. It makes me wonder how I’m still friends with you.” The bell rang right at that moment, and she got up, saying, “Let’s go to class. You wouldn’t wanna be late.”

You followed her, but you felt sick to your stomach. Usually, you could always hide your discomfort or sadness, no matter how bad your period cramps were or how serious an argument with your parents had gotten. But this time, it was too much, and fifteen minutes into the class, you asked the teacher to go to the nurse. Not used to you needing to leave class and trusting that it was for a legitimate reason, your teacher let you off and you quickly packed your bag and left. 

When you got to the nurse, you sat down in front of her and said you weren’t feeling well and wanted to go home. For the same reasons as your teacher, she said she’d let you but needed to ask you a few questions before about your general well-being. You answered them quickly, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible and just go home. 

When you finally were able to leave, you only took a few steps out of the nurse’s office before someone grabbed your wrist, making you turn around. Sunghoon, who was resting in the room next door, had heard your voice and gotten up as soon as he’d heard you leave. His nose was covered in bandages and his eye had started swelling and turning blue, and you mentally thanked Jay. You ripped your arm out of his grip and continued to walk away without a word. You were too tired to argue.

“Y/N, please, hear me out.”

This made you stop in your tracks, but you didn’t turn around. “Hear you out? I’ve already heard enough, Sunghoon. No need to explain, you made it very clear what you think of me.”

You started walking again but he doubled you and blocked your path in the narrow hallway. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry, if you’d just give me a minute-”

“I don’t care that you’re sorry, Sunghoon! Sorry doesn’t cut it. I trusted you. Actually trusted you. You out of all people should know how hard it is to do that. Or was that a lie too?” Seeing him in front of you, your sadness retreated to the back of your heart and you were left with only anger. 

“It wasn’t, I prom-”

“That doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.” You pushed past him and walked on. And this time, he let you go, even though the only thing you wanted him to do was make you stay. You so desperately wanted to hear him out and forgive him, but you knew you couldn’t do that. You had too much dignity, and it would only end up hurting you even further. 

So you didn’t shed a tear the whole way home. When you finally got to your bed, you didn’t have the energy to start crying. You fell asleep, tears quietly rolling down your face. 

—

You slept the whole day, waking up to a soft knock on your bedroom door. It was your mom, telling you Jay was here to see you. Everyone had been surprised to see you already at home when they came back from work or school, but they knew better than to wake you up.

“I’m surprised, you know. He’s gotten so handsome.”

You rolled your eyes at her. “Just tell him that I’m not feeling well and he should go home, please.”

“Oh, I’ve already tried to, honey. The boy is adamant on seeing you.”

You sighed. “Fine. Can you bring him here, then?”

A few seconds later, you heard another knock, and Jay opened the door just enough to peek his head through, asking if he could come in.

“Well, you’re already here, so might as well.”

You sat up and gestured for him to sit down on your bed.

He looked around, taking in the messiness of his surroundings. “You know, I thought your room would be much more… organized.”

“Didn’t Sunghoon tell you? I’m a big, fat liar who hides the truth from everyone,” you said sarcastically.

“About that… did you hear everything he said?” You hummed in response. “I’m so sorry you had to hear that, Y/N. I don’t know what happened to him. He’d never said anything like that about you, and then, all of a sudden… What an asshole. I can’t believe he was my friend.”

“Was? You shouldn’t end your friendship over me, Jay.”

“Are you kidding me? I can’t be friends with a guy who talks about anyone like that, let alone you.” After a few minutes of silence, he asked, “Did um- did anything happen, for him to say those things?”

You sighed deeply. “I’ve already told this story twice in the past few days, so I’ll give you the short version, but basically, we were fake dating, and I started really liking him, and I thought he did too, until we kissed, and he left me completely stranded, and then the next day I hear him say all those things.”

Silence again. You suddenly remembered something Sunghoon had said that you had completely put to the side: Jay likes you. At least, according to Sunghoon. You didn’t know if it was true, but judging by his disappointed face, it looked like it. Seemed like all of your friendships were going to hell.

“Oh,” he simply said.

“Yeah…” you murmured back. 

“Well,” he turned to you, “that just confirms to me that he’s an asshole. Cause no guy in his right mind would turn you down, Y/N. I know I wouldn’t.”

He looked straight at you as he said that. Yep. Jay liked you. It was a nice feeling, but it was also about ten years too late. 

“Do you- do you know what I’m trying to say, Y/N?” he asked, gulping.

You hesitated for a second before saying, ”I think I do, Jay. I have to say, your timing isn’t great.”

He chuckled a bit lifelessly. “Yeah, I guess right now isn’t the best time to say this.”

“I also meant, you know what Sunghoon said, earlier? That I liked you before you left for the US? That was true.”

He looked at you, mouth agape. “Oh, was it…” His head hung down in defeat. “I can’t believe I’ve been such an idiot. I feel like it’s my fault that Sunghoon hurt you like this. If only I’d been just a bit earlier…”

“None of this is your fault, Jay. Please don’t think that. It’s mine for thinking Sunghoon could actually like me back.”

Jay took a deep breath. “God, as much as it hurts me to say, Y/N, I think he did. Or does, actually.” You furrowed your brows at him. “Sunghoon, he has this thing where he goes into retreat mode as soon as he gets too close, too personal. It’s a stupid defense mechanism, and when he realizes he’s let you in a bit too far, he snaps everything closed and hurts you before you can hurt him. At least, that’s how he sees it, I guess. He’s done it to Jake and me a couple times, and it takes some getting used to, but he stops after a while. When he knows for sure that you won’t hurt him.”

You didn’t know what to do with this information, so you just stayed quiet, which Jay took as a sign to go on.

“I’m not saying forgive him. Believe me, if I could smack him into space and never let him see you again, I would. But I think maybe, just maybe, and you don’t have to if you don’t want to, hear him out.”

You smiled at him. “You’re a good friend, Jay. And I don’t mean just to me but to Sunghoon as well. I hope you know that.”

Jay tried to ignore the pinch in his heart at the word ‘friend’ and smiled back.

“Oh, there’s another thing I needed to show you.” His tone was suddenly much more apprehensive, and he looked both sorry and scared to say whatever he was about to say.

He pulled out his phone and searched the thing in question. Before showing you anything, he warned, “Nobody knows who did this. It was sent out to the whole school on a library computer-”

Expecting the worst, you snatched Jay’s phone from his hands. And there they were. Pictures of you from your primary school years, recent pictures of you in your comfortable clothes, at home or in close proximity to your house. Sent out to the whole school, as Jay had said. You were horror-struck. You could feel all the years you had spent perfecting your image and maintaining it crumbling around you as though they were paper. Charismatic smiles and trendy accessories had been your brick and mortar, but a sledgehammer had hit them, destroying your foundations further with each swing.

And that sledgehammer had a name: Bae Sumin. You’d figured it out in an instant. You’d been friends your whole life, she was the only one apart from your family to know about your true face; only she would have access to such photos. You knew it wasn’t Sunghoon because the pictures he had taken that day weren’t there.

If what had happened with Sunghoon had made a crack in your heart, then this had shattered it into a million pieces. The person who you’d trusted the most, who you’d thought would never do anything to hurt you, had done the worst thing anybody could do to you.

“Y/N- are you okay?” Jay asked tentatively. You had forgotten he was there.

“Um, yeah, yeah- I think I just need to be alone for now, if that’s okay.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind staying a while.”

“Sorry, Jay, but I’m sure.”

He looked at you for a few seconds. He’d never felt more distance between you two, not even when you had been oceans apart. “Alright. Call me if you need anything. I mean it.”

You smiled a tiny, tiny smile in response and he left your room. On his way out, your mom hugged him, saying it was nice to see him again and that he was welcome anytime, and he thanked her.

As he walked home, he couldn’t help but bitterly laugh to himself. Even when he confessed, he hadn’t been able to say the words he’d wanted to tell you this whole time: I love you.

—

You didn’t go to school for the rest of the week, the only stain on your perfect attendance record. All of your friends had tried to reach you, asking if you were okay, and you replied in a few small messages, telling them you’d be back when you could. Other people had contacted you, asking if those pictures were real. You obsessed over your school’s gossip Instagram account: the past few days, all the posts had been dedicated to your pictures and Sunghoon’s and Jay’s fight. You had ten missed calls from Sunghoon and seventeen from Sumin. You ignored each and everyone of them, only giving Jay, Heeseung, Sieun and Jiung the time of day. 

On Sunday morning you woke up, already dreading going to school the next day. You could already picture the nasty stares and whispers you’d get in the hallways. You thought about facing Sumin and Sunghoon again, and you thought the worst thing possible would be to have to do it at school. So you decided to wait until they called you again, as you knew they would, and finally picked up their call.

Sumin contacted you first, at eleven in the morning. You agreed to have her come over to your house to talk. When she appeared at your front door, you realized you weren’t sad, angry, or disappointed; you were just confused. You didn’t understand why she’d done it. Looking at her face, you couldn’t imagine her sitting down at that computer and sending out those pictures, writing the comment This is what Kim Y/N is like in real life.

You let her in and walked to your room, your siblings’ eyes burning holes into her soul the whole time. You sat down on your bed, sighed, and said, “Go ahead.”

“Thank you for letting me come here and explain myself. I don’t know what took over me, Y/N. Well actually, I guess I do. Jealousy, as stupid as it sounds.” She chuckled at herself. “I’ve always tried to hide it, but I’ve always been a bit jealous of you, Y/N. You’re the prettiest girl, the smartest, the nicest, and I’m just the best friend. That’s all anyone knows me as. Everybody loves you, yet I know it’s all a facade. And I’m not saying that to be mean, because I know you’re an amazing person even without all the glamor. And when I saw you with Sunghoon, I mean, you saw how I was. I didn't fight with my parents. I was so, so jealous. You hadn’t shown interest in any guy since Choi Soobin and all of a sudden you were dating Park freaking Sunghoon, and he knew about your quote-on-quote ‘real’ face, so I couldn’t even comfort myself that he didn’t know who you really were.”

“Wait- why would you be jealous of Sunghoon and me?”

She took a deep breath. “You remember, freshman year, when I confessed to him and he turned me down?”

“Yeah, but I thought that was in the past.”

“Do you also remember that guy I told you about later on, who I’d gotten really close with but completely shut me off when I thought we were about to start dating?”

Something clicked, but you didn’t want to face it. “Yeah…”

“Well, surprise surprise, they were the same person. Ha. I got mad at you for lying to me, but I did the same thing.”

“Sumin… Why did you never tell me?”

“I’m not sure. When we were in that talking stage, I could’ve bragged about it to anyone, you know, that Park Sunghoon was actually being nice to me, but I didn’t. I wanted to keep him my little secret. And then I confessed, and we all know how that ended.” A beat passes as she takes a deep breath, shaking the bad memory away. “I am over it, it was more than three years ago. Maybe there was a nice part of me that thought he had changed, because you seemed happy with him, and I didn’t want to ruin that. But maybe there was another part that hoped he might hurt you like he did me. And that’s such a shitty thing to do, I know. I should’ve told you when I saw you get involved with him. I can’t believe after all these years, he did the exact same thing to you that he did to me. What an asshole.”

You were staring at the wall in front of you, feeling empty. Why did everything have to happen at the same time? You were just drained of any willpower.

“This doesn’t explain the pictures,” you said plainly.

“Right. When you told me you were fake dating, I guess something snapped in me. I couldn’t believe it was another lie, I thought we had gone past the stage where you hid things from me. So that, plus jealousy, I just went a bit crazy, I think. I really wasn’t thinking, Y/N, and I promise you with all my heart that if I could go back and undo everything, I would. I’m so, so, so sorry. I regretted it as soon as I hit post.”

You looked at your friend and knew she was telling the truth. You believed her, and yet you couldn’t quite look past it.

“I know you are, Minie. It’s just… what am I gonna do now at school? Everybody must hate me.”

“I won’t lie, some people haven’t been saying the nicest things, especially Park’s fangirls. But God, Y/N, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but who cares? They’ll talk about it for a week, two at most. Your life at school won’t be the same, but you’ll still have all of us. I’ve talked to Heeseung, Sieun and Jiung, and they’re not the tiniest bit mad at you. They’re just worried to death. A bit confused too, but mostly worried. And you know what? Even Yujin, Wonyoung and Gaeul, who I’ve literally never talked to before, came to ask me how you were. Jay and Sunghoon are barely on talking terms but they always team up when it comes to practically verbally assaulting anyone they overhear talking behind your back. Jake has to hold them back sometimes but he always glares at those people too. You don’t wanna see Jake Sim glare, I promise you. It’s so scary,” she says in a confessional tone, visibly shuddering just at the thought of angel-faced Jake looking angry, and you can’t help the small chuckle that escapes your lips.

Her face softens as she places a warm palm over your hand. “We all love you and care for you so much, so screw literally every single other person in that school. They don’t matter.”

There was something refreshing about Sumin’s words. The idea that you could live your life without worrying about other people had always been in the back of your head, but you always told yourself you were in too deep to go back. Now that you had been forced to, you understood why you felt so empty: the immense weight of having to keep up a persona, had been lifted off your shoulders. You would only have to carry yourself, and not a second person, which made you feel weightless. You’d just have to get used to it and come to enjoy that feeling.

You took your friend’s hands in yours. “I want to forgive you, I promise I do. And I will. I just don’t know if I can do that right away. I’ll need some getting used to this new life.”

“I completely understand, Y/N.”

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you around anymore. And you know what, I’m sure one day I’ll look back at this moment and thank you.”

—

Sumin left a few hours later and you were now waiting for Sunghoon to call you. You waited and waited, until your phone rang with a small ding: he wasn’t calling you, but had sent you a message. A very, very long message. You were very tempted to reply with a I ain’t reading all that. I’m happy for u tho. Or sorry that happened, but you thought it might not be the appropriate moment. 

You opened the message, which had come after thirty unread texts, and started reading, slightly appalled by the lack of paragraphing.

Dear Y/N, 

Is this how you start a long text? I would much rather be telling you this than writing it, but someone hasn’t been picking up my calls. Sorry. I probably shouldn’t be giving you much attitude right now. Where do I even start? The ice rink, I guess. Asshole move #1, obviously. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you like that. That kiss was really really good and I really really liked it. Because I really really like you. And I think I’ve known that for a while now, but the kiss confirmed it. And I was happy for a second, but then I panicked. There’s no other word for it, I panicked. I’ve never liked someone this much before and I was so scared. I still am. I’m terrified shitless. But I know that my fear is completely irrational, and that you’re literally the best person on Earth, which is why I’m writing this. I know it’s cliché to say my mom left me and now I think everybody will. And my first reaction to that is to hurt someone before they can hurt me, which is what I did. But as much as I wanna fight it, it’s always there at the back of my mind. You can even ask Sumin about it. Should I be saying that? I feel like I might as well. I was an asshole to her, and I’m so angry at myself that I did it again with you. I didn’t mean a single word of what I said about you to Jay. Not a single one. You’re not stupid, you’re the smartest and most amazing girl I know, and I never pretended I liked you, because I never had to. I think I just wanted Jay to punch me, really. I wanted him to run to you and make sure you were okay, because I was too scared to do that myself. But I regret doing that so much. I hope you know that. And bless Jay, he’s a real one. He told me to get my shit together and talk to you. I can tell he’s still mad at me but still wants to make things good between us. I was already trying to call you before he said that, but I probably would’ve said something stupid that would’ve made things worse. And I can’t afford that, Y/N, I really, really can’t. You get me like no one does and being with you is the most liberating thing ever, I’m never myself more than when I’m around you. You just bring out the best in me. Well, except for that thing I did. Which I promise I’ll never do again. I am so extremely sorry, and if you wanna hate me for the rest of your life, I completely get it. But I would also be very happy if you didn’t. I hope I’ll see you tomorrow at school. I really miss you.

Your Hoon

You wiped away the tears that had formed in your eyes and typed back:

You’re such an idiot, Park.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

—

The next day, as you imagined, was mostly hell. You’d decided not to dress up as usual: there was no point trying to look good after this, it would only make you seem more ridiculous. You put less makeup on, not bothering to hide your eye bags, and didn’t bling your outfit up with accessories or fancy shoes, opting for your worn-out Converse you’d had since your feet stopped growing. On the bus, where people usually ignored each other, you could already feel the gossip being told about you. You avoided people’s gaze like the plague and sat down next to Sumin. You laid your head on her shoulder and sighed.

“I already wanna go home.”

She laughed, “I know. We’ll be with you the whole day, so don’t worry.”

You spent the bus ride catching up on what had happened when you were gone (nothing much), and although there was some awkwardness there, it was nice being with your best friend. When Heeseung got on, he practically screamed your name and suffocated you by means of greeting.

“I’m so glad you’re back. You know, I think you look really cute in those pictures. All these people are just jealous they don’t look as good as you even when you don’t dress up.”

Sumin shot daggers with her eyes at him and he cringed, saying, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned that.”

You reassured him, saying that it was fine since it was all you were going to be hearing the next few days. “Might as well get used to it.”

It was somewhat easy to ignore the stares coming your way when you walked into school with Heeseung and Sumin flanked at your sides like bodyguards. When you reached your classroom, Jiung engulfed you in a hug and Sieun was almost crying. How the hell had you gotten such sweet friends? 

In the hallways, some people tried to get reactions out of you by calling you out, yelling liar! or you can’t fool us anymore. You couldn’t ignore them as they were very much in your face. When at lunch, a table of girls next to you was very clearly talking about you in the nastiest way possible, you took your tray and were ready to get up and leave, but a very familiar voice stopped you in your tracks.

“You think it’s funny talking about someone like that?” Sunghoon was practically screaming at the girls. “You think you’re any better than her? I bet you do the exact same thing but are just glad someone else got called out for it.” You weren’t sure if that made you feel much better, but you appreciated the effort.

“As a matter of fact,” he continued as he pulled out a chair and got up on it, his voice getting louder, “I’ve got something I wanna say to everyone.”

Somebody whooped (probably Jake) and you tried to get Sunghoon to come down from the chair, but he just smiled his radiant smile at you and turned to look at the students in the cafeteria.

“All of you who judge Y/N are hypocrites. You wanna tell me you’re all as perfect at home as you are at school? That you never relax a little bit? Sure, she pushed it a bit far- (hey! you grunted in protest), but nobody shows who they truly are to everyone. We all judge each other in this stupid high school, so Y/N did what she had to do and protected herself. If anything, this should make you respect her even more. And it’s not like she did anything wrong to you. She didn’t use her popularity against anyone, so you better not use this against her.”

From the crowded tables in the cafeteria, somebody yelled “Nobody cares!”

Somebody, whose voice you thought you recognized as Jungwon’s, joined in: “Yeah, what is it about you seniors and thinking the whole school revolves around you? We still like Y/N!”

Sunghoon, taken aback, simply said, “Oh. Alright. Well, you better keep it that way then!” and got off his chair. 

He turned to you, already a pleading look on his face and said “Y/N, I’m so sorry-”

But you cut him off right away. “I know, Sunghoon, I know. I think this proved it.”

“I really wanna make it up to you. So just tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it. Buy you a house, move to another country, you name it. I’ll do it.”

You chuckled at him. “You don’t need to go that far.” You looked down, then back at him. “I think I just want to pretend like nothing happened. Like it was all a huge, awful fever dream. Even if I can’t forgive and forget right away, I don’t think I want you out of my life while I figure it out.”

He let out the biggest sigh you’d ever heard. “My God, you don’t know how happy to hear that, Y/N. Thank you so much.”

“Thank you for defending me just now. That was… definitely something.”

He smiled down at you. "I did my best. Too bad those sophomores ruined everything.”

You could feel eyes burning into your sides, so you turned your head a bit and noticed that your friends and the table of girls that had just been gossiping were staring at you, some of them teary-eyed. When they saw you notice them, they all turned back to each other and pretended that they were having some other conversation. You and Sunghoon chuckled, and you realized how much you had missed him.

Yes, Sunghoon and Sumin had hurt you, but you were a strong believer of second chances. Even if it was hard at first to stop thinking about Sunghoon’s voice when he had said those things or Sumin’s intentions when she posted the pictures, they’d made it up to you in any way they could and you’d reciprocated that by being completely honest. No more trying to look perfect all the time; you were human and were allowed to have low moments. Your grades even dropped by two points, because you’d started spending more time with your friends than with your textbooks. You’d spent whole Saturdays at the ice rink with your now real-boyfriend Sunghoon, and had invited the whole crew. Heeseung was surprisingly good at it. You had even caught your little sister Yeeun on a date with the cute Japanese boy she’d talked about. 

As promised, Jay came once a week or every two weeks to have dinner with your family; Sunghoon always insisted on being present. The tension between them had turned into friendly competition, and you could tell the two friends were glad to have each other back. 

You’d never felt so free. Your relationship with Sunghoon felt like uncharted territory and home at the same time; so daunting and exciting yet so comfortable and relaxing. You kept the PDA at a minimum at school, but when it was just the two of you, your whole body never failed to heat up, even in the cold of the ice rink. He had been nicknamed the ice prince, but he was so, so warm.

In the end, everybody found out. But you had Park Sunghoon by your side, so it was alright.

permanent taglist: @zreamy @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl @raikea10 @wntrnghts @moonlighthoon @4imhry @rikisly @loves0ft @iamliacamila @theboingsuckerasseater9000 @chaechae-23 @baekhyuns-lipchain @hyuckslvr @vernonburger (ask to be removed/added!)

© asahicore on Tumblr, 2023. please do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works. support your creators by reblogging and leaving feedback!

[jess-the-vampire]

I genuinely don't understand the gripes a few people have with how Belos was handled in the finale. "Dont just brush him off as being evil" Well, why the fuck not? Dude wasnt born evil but he purposefully chose destruction and death at every possible opportunity for 400+ years. Nothing about his backstory would have made any impact on the characters affected, because its not an excuse, its not even an explanation! Caleb had the same childhood and he loved the Boiling isles. Eat boots Belos.

Ok, buckle up cause this is gonna be a long one, we gotta have a chat about Belos as a character, because there's been so many takes about this i keep seeing about " he never accepted the isles the way luz did" and "He had 400 years to change and he never took the took the offer", because it just seems like the fandom wants to kinda ignore a lot of the nuance about his situation and why it's not that simple?

and i'm for sure certain it's because the fandom is obviously already pretty biased against him since he's the villain, and what he does to the main characters as well as represents.

And that's fine, obviously he becomes a pretty bad person, no one is obligated to like him and it's ok to feel uncomfortable given the character he is.

But i think a lot of these issues as to why people have such mixed opinions about the finale has a lot to do directly with the fact the show DID keep his backstory as vague as they did, when if they had gone into it i think we would've had less of this discourse.

Now none of this is me excusing him obviously, but the fandom is very adamant to just not allow him to have depth either, when....he's allowed to be irredeemable and have depth at the same time. He's meant to be a very human villain, a character that could happen to anyone under the right circumstances

So not exploring that depth, why it got how it did, and how things like it can be prevented is a flaw within the show and among a lot of fans.

And to be fair, the show does not HAVE to do it, but the show also clearly wrote his character to have a lot of implied depth whether people like it or not, him coming from a very real religious group alone and making him a foil to luz has turned what could of been a very one note villain into one with a lot of layers to his villainy.

And if the show wants to make belos a very one note villian, no depth, they could of very easily done this by just cutting out details like his love and care for his brother, or just make make him want to destroy witches simply because he decided on his own they were worth destroying.

But that's not exactly what they've presented belos as being.

The show thrives in having characters who aren't just simple nor cookie cutter.

Hunter isn't just some cocky sidekick, he's an abused teenager who craves love and affection, and is willing to go high and low to earn it, terrified to be thrown away and replaced and constantly is forced into a mold just to get the affection he craves. He's highly sheltered and isolated just because his father figure doesn't want him to be his own person since that wasn't what he was created for

King isn't just a tiny little brat who craves power, he's a child whose been lied to about his past, and he wanted nothing more then to be taken seriously and feel a sense of belonging. He believes that he wants power, but finds out he really only wanted to be treated like anyone else, and that he's far happier with a family that loves and cares about him rather then being a powerful demon king.

Lilith isn't just a self important antagonist who wants to force eda to do what she wants, she grew up close to her sister and wanting to be by her side well into the future, but felt a sense of inadequacy in comparison to eda. The pressures of the coven system and need to win against her sister made her make a drastic choice she regrets and she wants nothing more then to fix it and make everything the ideal fantasy they grew up wanting to have together. She's also a large nerd, craves the attention of higher figures since her own mother used to put all the attention on eda, and changed her appearance just so people would take her seriously.

And the show does this with most of it's cast, obvi there's the exception like tibbles and even bosha who don't have too much to them, but they're also very minor antagonists and there's still stuff you can pick up on.

Belos however is the main antagonist, everything that happens in the show, happens because of him, his entire backstory is basically why the plot of the show happens.

Not just that, but also caleb and evelyn, if it weren't for the drama between these three, there would be no show.

And people are WELL aware these three aren't the main leads, they aren't going to be the main focus of most episodes and obviously the show was going to end in the favor of the main characters.

But

the story the show tells between these three ties very strongly into the ones with the leads too. We are given at least enough details to notice parallels between stuff that happens with characters like luz, and characters like philip.

We know philip and luz grew up in gravesfield, we know there were outcasts there, and they had one family member they relied on to support them there. They ended up in the demon realm, they both learned magic, and they both are strongly motivated by their beliefs regarding the isles.

So there's a lot they share in common, which makes it really easy to take a look at philip and say "Well it's his fault for not being like luz and accepting the isles like she did".

But, there's a lot of differences here

Luz grew up with fantasy, with magic stories about witches and heroes and demons. Philip grew up in a 1600s puritan village which demonized this stuff, he was a young child growing up being told this stuff was evil and he was taught to fight against it.

Luz felt odd for her interests and out there personality but at worst she felt isolated and misunderstood, she didn't like her mom's efforts to change her to be "Normal". Philip actually conformed to gravesfield, caleb clearly encouraging his brother to do so, just so both of them could fit in with the town. Had they not conformed at best they'd be isolated, but at worst they'd be dead.

Camilia is an adult who eventually opens up and talks to luz about how it was wrong to try and change her to be "Normal", that she herself hid her own interests to do so.

Caleb, was a child, he did not have any open conversations with his younger brother. Caleb hid evelyn and his interests with witches from philip and then on top of this, left philip behind.

You could absolutely say the fact caleb didn't talk to philip is pure speculation, and not confirmed at all. That all of this could be summed up to unreliable narrators.

But we know caleb left for the isles before philip did, we know it took time for philip to find him again (because his beard grew out), we know caleb had a wife who seems to be pregnant, that he was introducing philip to (Implying he not only hasn't seen philip in awhile, but that eve and philip have never met to caleb) and all of that alone feeds into the fact caleb left him behind to start another life. This is all shown in his memories alone, stuff we can't chalk up to unreliable narrators.

So the most logical conclusion to come to is caleb left philip to start a new family, we don't have a lot of details as to if caleb ever planned to return, if caleb had good reasons to do what he did, or much about his mindset.

But we have enough to know Philip loved and looked up to caleb, that he relied on caleb, and caleb lied and left him.

There is again, reason to tie this back to camila and luz.

but this is not a child leaving a parent behind, this is a parental figure leaving a child behind.

This is what i mean by the issue being lack of clear answers, people claim caleb left when philip was an adult, but we actually have no confirmed evidence for this. We have enough of philip's memories to know 2 things, that he was still a teenager when caleb was meeting evelyn, and he was an adult when he arrived.

You could argue philip was an adult by the time caleb left, but it's so vauge you can also argue caleb left when philip was a child and philip didn't figure out his way to the demon realm till adulthood and there's not enough proof to go one way or another.

now titan dad says philip had no genuine reasons for his actions, that he did this all for glory, but as steve put it back in OTWAT, the titan is just a guy.

And given the collector situation, he can make mistakes and screw up just like anyone else.

Titan dad only sees what he can see and make observations based on what he sees. He saw a human come to the isles with a bias already against witches, who ended up killing his brother, who claimed to come here to save others and that's all he's going to see philip as being. Someone who wants to save others but just hurts them instead.

He has no reason to know what philip grew up under, nor does he have reason to know philip and caleb's story before they arrived. There's no denying philip did love caleb, and that they were close, but that caleb leaving him behind for witches drove them apart.

I think the problem ppl even have with what titan dad says is purely because the fans take it at face value, because let's be honest, most fans will believe the objective heroes for what they assume over the villians. And since the show again, leaves philip's story vauge, and never puts it in the main focus, people will just assume what titan dad says must be the truth.

Like yes, you can pick up on these details if you are paying attention, but most people won't do that, so a lot of fans will listen to the god telling them what philip's motivations are coming from rather then put together the sense of betrayal from caleb that hurt philip that most of the evidence is actually pointing to.

philip had no parents, and had no one but caleb as far as we can tell, and then caleb left him too, like he didn't want him anymore.

And he left him in a bigoted town, alone.

the damage this could of done if he was a child is pretty darn bad, and for philip to assume this happened because of a witch means reinforcing everything he's been taught about witches.

Caleb lied about his changes, so when caleb sees him again, caleb seems to be a different person, which does fit with what philip says to luz about the isles "Brainwashing people".

tho you can argue that that's not the truth, that philip knows caleb did it on purpose and killed him for betraying him, cause of how he blames him in episodes like FTF.

But again, this is the result of leaving things vague, because either situation is plausible.

it's plausible philip never intended to kill caleb at all and he died as the result of trying to protect eve because the show says he was trying to target evelyn to save caleb, and it's plausible he died on purpose out of philip's rage for caleb leaving him. Because guess what? That means caleb had the means to go see him and could've seen him but made the choice NOT to, so yeah, that's pretty heartbreaking.

again, this also comes into play regarding Philips's guilt.

People objectively keep saying philip HAS no guilt regarding caleb, but we have evidence for both guilt and non guilt.

Now, sure, his portrait of dead caleb implies philip is not guilty for his death based on his expression after the fact. We also have the fact philip shows distain towards the grimwalkers, that he never outright expresses he feels bad to anyone.

But, we also have caleb's death being treated as one of philip's worst memories in KT that he objectively recalls in horror, he says he "Tried" to save caleb in FTF, which implies he wanted to save him and that he's mad he didn't manage to do so. The grimwalkers and caleb could be seen as ghosts, but also as hallucinations, and if you are seeing them as the latter then it makes sense he'd be seeing them out of some level of guilt towards having them killed.

If the show had these details explained more fully, it would be easy to either deem belos as being a murderous dick with no remorse who thinks killing was the right thing, or as a guilt ridded stubborn murderer who wants to not acknowledge he was wrong and screwed up.

it's why people are split, because you could objectively choose to see him both ways and the ending will affect you differently depending on what you picked up on.

But now let's talk about philip not changing, because people have bashed him for not doing so in the 400 years he's been there and that he had opportunities to do so but didn't.

And i think this is half right, half wrong.

Philip came to the isles with biases, he basically grew up in a cult, he came in thinking he was traveling into hell to go find caleb. Caleb encouraged his hatred, and then his hatred got further pushed when caleb seemed to be kidnapped, and then further pushed when he was surrounded by nothing but bigots.

So this man was already on a bad foot compared to luz, who was here to live out the fantasy books she grew up on, and objectively would have no reason to hate or fear witches nearly as much.

And we do know while the BI can be compassionate, it also has it's issues, even luz faced discrimination for being human herself while on the isles. Being powerless there is well, not great, it's why luz had to figure out her own way to do things alongside everyone else.

And the Bi ARE dangerous, especially for humans, so it's at least understandable philip is not going to just show up and look past the flesh eating plants, the evil weather, and the lack of anything he can even objectively eat.

Now philip could of considered things outside of his bias, and made the effort to try and look at things from a new perspective. But we also have to acknowledge that it's not easy to come out of this long time brainwashing either, and that it takes time and help to do so.

And philip, didn't seem to have that.

Yes, caleb grew up the same way, but not only was he older, which already set him up to question things more. But he had evelyn, he had someone to challenge him and his views and change his mind.

Philp, doesn't have that, there is no confirmation anyone ever really chose to challenge his views or make him realize he was following a lie.

Caleb could of but caleb left.

All we see is philip, isolated, following the beliefs he was taught and being hostile to witches, and witches rightfully being hostile back, which just further is feeding into his bias.

You can assume philip had chances to change but didn't, but there's no real strong evidence of that being offered to him either. That any witch ever tried to make him question anything.

It's pure speculation.

Now Philip is a stubborn ass dude for sure, so yeah, we can claim he just simply didn't want to consider it.

But people are claiming Philip was shown help that he didn't take and that's just not true. We never see anyone asking him to do the right thing or making him question things, at least not compassionately.

no one to our knowledge ever did challenge him, or did reach out to him, not even in the show itself.

Luz is rightfully hostile towards him even when trying to challenge him, hunter does attempt to try and come up with helpful ideas but he would silence himself if his uncle didn't like it (Not to mention the existing fact that he is supposed to be a caleb replacement so his existence comes from philip not wanting him to change or question things philip thinks caleb should not), and well....collector giving him a hug isn't gonna do anything at that point to stop him from thinking the worst of the isles.

This is partially because belos has the power in scenes, that if he hears what he doesn't want to hear he can quickly silence the individual and ignore it.

He's basically put in situations where no one is challenging him and if they are, they're usually doing it with distain and he's responding like a dick right back.

So maybe not much could of been done when belos has become emperor, outside of some rare occurrences where he has no choice but to listen or if he was challenged by someone he respected and would be less willing to hurt. Maybe he's too far gone to back out now and has too much power to even allow himself to consider what anyone had to say, even if they did do it kindly and wouldn't face his wrath.

but he was only emperor for 50 years too.

So ok, what about before that?

Well, yeah, maybe there were chances he could of been, but that's a period of time we only see so much of, and none of it shows one way or the other that Philip was offered the chance to improve.

I think had we gotten a scene of philip being offered a chance to do good, to consider things, that he knew he was wrong and still rejected it, it would back up this whole "Philip made the choice to not get better" thing people claim.

but truth is, it's speculation, we don't know.

A guy who spent his life buying into where he grew up and came in with biases that became a cycle of him being terrible and witches reinforcing what he thought isn't just suddenly going to change his mind and be nice now on a whim unless those biases are challenged in a way he can't deny.

it's on him for not considering looking on things outside of his bias for sure, but people seem to think doing that is simple and easy and it's really not.

Philip had no evelyn, he was left with no one but his bias and stubborn mind.

It's like king said back in hollow mind " People don't want to believe they've been following the wrong person their whole lives", and philip didn't have a luz like hunter did to help him realize how wrong he really was.

Instead it got worse and worse.

This is why philip feels real, because this can happen to people, that they can grow up with hate and never receive the help they needed to pull them out of the mindset. So they get worse, they become worse people.

and we can argue philip didn't deserve the chance to get better, but you'll never know if you don't try and we don't know if anyone did try before he was too far gone.

to think all of this could of been avoided if caleb actually spoke to his brother and gave him the chance to change...

Tying this all back to the beginning-

Philip's story ties into luz, they are foils in a lot of ways, but people need to remember they have differences outside of luz being a good person and philip being a bad person. Those differences make them into the people they are.

That luz was set up to love the isles in a way philip was set up to come in with a bias against it.

That it is not as simple as "Philip should of just got better" given what happened to him and the lack of help he had.

That philip never really is objectively shown to be offered genuine chances to reconsider his views on the show as much as people keep claiming so, and it's mostly all assumption at this point.

That so much of this argument over whether he's one way or the other could of been fixed if the show hadn't kept things vague.

By doing so, it leaves a lot for interpretation about him and therefore means people will have different views on what he thinks and feels and therefore will have different views on how his death should of been handled.

Caleb and philip tie into camila and luz, they tie into the clawthrone sisters, they are the basis for the plot of the series, they tie into hunter and the themes of being understood and being honest about yourself and conformity and it is no wonder people care about them.

It is incredibly valid if anyone expecting this story, that tied into the plot so hard ,as well as the themes, was upset it felt unexplained or dropped in the finale.

Especially since the fandom, with an obvious hatred for belos, responded to it by treating titan dad's word as god and simplifies philip's story completely despite everything i just mentioned here.

It is perfectly fine if you are not someone who cares about belos, but the people who do are perfectly allowed to be bothered that the show itself kept the complexity vague and not addressed and none of it mattered when it came to how his arc ended.

And that the only person who properly gives a personal opinion of what he thinks his motives are, simplifies him to being evil, and the fandom roles with that and the show never tries to do much to prove otherwise despite the evidence.

because this is a fascinating story about how conformity and bigotry can drive two close brothers apart and it feels like a story the show should of at least dedicated more of an episode to.

Especially since there's no clear idea if we'll ever get extra toh content to really tie any of this up.

Again, none of this excuses belos/philip for what he did, does, or tries to do, no amount of his life being screwed over and people treating him bad and not reaching out to him will ever excuse the fact he went so far.

But let's also just, not pretend it was an easy fix either, that someone can just....stop believing what they believe with the drop of a hat.

Especially given how this can reflect real people who are made into people like this.

He is nuanced, and people are attached to this villain for good reasons.

Nothing is simple about him, and it's just a product of how the show has handled his character.

[rocks-in-space]

After the whole geas/music box shenanigans, can I just say that I still think (and hope) that Steel isn't up to any like ~great evil plan~ that goes way beyond the pale of anything we currently understand about her. I don't think she's some secret villain; she's just Suvi! She's Suvi if Suvi continues down her current Citadel path and doesn't step off it. Steel is kind, just, well-intentioned, open-minded as any Citadel wizard can be. It's also very likely that she's condoned, participated in, or even orchestrated atrocities.

I think it's important to see that these things can coexist. That the justification machine could work on anyone. No matter how kind you think you are, any of us given the right circumstances could probably fall victim to propaganda or indoctrination. You don't have to be finger-steepleingly evil or monstrous, just a person. Especially if the system in question has granted you privilege or comfort.

Steel has thrived in the citadel/empire, and that makes it especially easy for the justification to work, for her to not question too fundamentally the place that has given her privilege and power (though interesting that wizards like Stone have fundamentally questioned the Citadel and come back to it. I can't wait to find out more about why). Plus we know almost nothing about Gaothmai or Rhuv, and I suspect there are things that further explain how the justification machine is able to succeed.

We know she is extremely committed to the Citadel at the moment, but it isn't blindly. As she says in ep. 23, "It feels like every inch I move within this Citadel, someone has a great reason to protect people from accountability, from knowledge, and from clarity. Everybody's got a vested interest in putting up walls and fog in a place whose sole purpose is to bring light to the world." I think she's at the point that many many people are at IRL where they separate an institution's or structure's stated intent from its actual impact.

I think it would be very compelling to see that Steel is what you can get when you take someone like Suvi and not have the connections to others with very different lived experiences and have many difficult conversations and do a lot of self- and world-interrogation. I think we all want that for Suvi, and I think it's quite possible that rather than being a big bad, that's an option for Steel as well.

However, I have every confidence that these people will create an extremely compelling story no matter what happens.

[guzhuangheaven]

I'm rewatching Ruyi, and all I'm thinking is, "Why is Yanwan such a stupid person?"

She is surviving and thriving because of luck most of the time. How is it that her mother murders his child and Hongli thinks that maybe she is not evil because her mother didn't confess Yanwan's part but he spend over a decade hating on Yuyan because of an accessory and her ambitious son.

I feel the writer faltered and could have made her a more subtle and clever villain. Her only becoming a Consort because Hongli wanted to piss of Zhen Huan, I think sucked the most.

See, here’s where I think the writing is genius in terms of human psychology, because it shows just how utterly narcissistic both Qianlong and Yanwan and how much they see themselves in each other. Yanwan panders to Qianlong’s narcissism, so he literally willfully tells himself that a woman he favours can’t be that bad, to the point that he actually believes it. He wants to always forgive Yanwan whenever she pisses him off, because he can’t admit that he likes or gets turned on or whatever by someone so despicable, because what does that say about himself?

In the situation with Yongjing, he would rather believe astrology nonsense that Ruyi’s vibes killed Yongjing than consider there was foul play. He gets so hyped up with the idea of Yongjing being a good omen that when Yongjing dies he feels like he's losing face to ever have hoped so much. Face is a huge deal to a person like Qianlong, he can't deal with losing face like that so he turns it on Ruyi instead. Later he would rather deceive himself that yes somehow Yanwan’s mother can miraculously pull all off this huge feat of paying off midwives and people both inside and outside the palace to endanger Yongjing and frame Hailan in the process, than admit the obvious that she couldn’t possibly have done all of this without Yanwan’s will or involvement. And some people really are just so narcissistic that they would believe these excuses they tell themselves rather than think that they might be wrong.

Yanwan says it very succinctly in the end, he chose her, he raised her up, if she’s horrible, then what is he? That’s why he can’t ever admit to Yanwan’s worst actions until he can’t be in denial anymore, when it’s all shoved into his face in the end.

Yanwan basically spends her entire time as consort failing up because her benefactor (Qianlong) is too narcissistic to admit he was ever wrong and has the ultimate privilege to get away with that mindset. This happens in real life…

Anyway, I think while Qianlong is aware of Yanwan’s ambition from the beginning from the way she approaches him, and he nurtures that ambition to use her as a weapon against the empress dowager and Ruyi at times, he doesn’t see Yuyan (or do you actually mean Luyun and her hairpin?) in the same way. We see the Yuyan’s scheming private moments but I think for Qianlong, she’s just this plaything gift from a tributary state with a sharp tongue, and she is the equivalent of a sexy lamp to him. So he is blindsided when that toy dares have her own goals and uses her son to push her own gains.

If you mean Luyun, I always thought it was a perfect concoction of coincidences that sets up Qianlong’s suspicion of Luyun, from Langhua suddenly recommending Luyun as the next empress on her death bed even though she hasn’t shown any preference for Luyun before, after Qianlong just learnt that Langhua had supposedly done all these evil things, and then Luyun’s hairpin being found at the wrong place, then suddenly Luyun showing desire to compete to be empress that she didn’t have before and both Yongzhang and Yonghuang who were raised by Luyun acting up at Langhua’s funeral. With his tendency for paranoia of course he would be suspicious of her and he can continue to hold a grudge because Luyun isn’t a mirror to him the way Yanwan is.  

[kwillow]

What traits do the people in theos choosen few have?

Ngl theo definitely seems like he'd be the kind of guy to enjoy quietly spending time with someone where you're both in the same room but doing different things, but like no talking, no contact, just in each other's presence

I'm answering this one a bit out of the context of Amaranthine specifically because it got me thinking about all the various people Theo's gotten close to in all his incarnations as a character over the past too-many years. Not all of these characters are in his "current" story, but the through-line of his desired traits in a "chosen one" are there nonetheless. He's developed a diverse set of friends that don't have too much in common at first blush. But there are a few commonalities!

As established, Theo is extremely paranoid and has been burned by people many times before, which is one of his many barriers to getting close to others. A person often needs to have a quality that makes them feel more "safe" to him in order for him to stop seeing them as a potential enemy. Most often, this trait is "innocence" or "naïveté," or put in another sense, being so stupid Theo can't possibly imagine them trying to betray him. In one AU (Fallout), he developed weird friendships with three people (Jack, Frank and Dwight) because he thought they were all incredibly dumb and utterly clueless and therefore anything kind they did for him was probably genuine. In another roleplay I did with him, he very quickly developed a bond (and very one-sided infatuation) with a blind woman. She literally couldn't judge him on appearances, so he felt less defensive around her.

He tends to feel even more guarded around men compared to women for various reasons (daddy issues, bad school experiences, often more physically threatening to a little guy like him, feeling the primal urge to battle for dominance, so on), so it's theoretically easier for him to become close to women. At least, it's harder for him to start off on the complete wrong foot with a woman than he can with a man, where he takes a look at a random fellow and just decides he's a "bad sort" and cannot be convinced otherwise. That said, he can get close to fellas and he absolutely can learn to loathe a woman, as Hyden and (eventually) Alex could attest.

Hyden gets around the paranoia by being someone who Theo thought was dead for hundreds of years. It's safe to idolize a dead man because he'll never hurt you. Of course, Hyden isn't dead, but Theo already developed his imaginary bond with Hyden-as-historical-figure before he found that out, so Hyden got to fast-track the Theo friendship process.

He also thrives off of being people's protector (which is kind of hard as an asthmatic little person whose main form of exercise is lifting heavy books off the shelf, but he tries). The easiest way to forge a connection with him is to make him happen to stand between you and someone who strikes him as a "bully." Yes, like many men who would dare to say "milady," he is a white knight in pinstriped armor. It is very, VERY hard for him to resist the urge to defend someone he's been made to feel a sense of responsibility for, even if his more cynical side is telling him to just leave someone to their fate. Of course, that's all very noble until he ends up resolutely defending an evil warlock from the people whose lives were destroyed by evil warlock magic.

Theo also isn't someone who really grew up having those things called "friends." He tends to have trouble conceptualizing what a relationship between peers is even supposed to be like. Therefore, he tends to shirk his "equals" and instead is unconsciously more drawn to people he considers either above or below himself in station, intelligence, age etc., as that gives him more of an idea of how he's supposed to behave. He tends to seek out relationships he can imagine to mirror familial bonds (replacement parental figures or "wards") or mythologized dynamics from fantasy novels (handmaidens and feudal lords) because those are the dynamics he's familiar with and feels he can fulfill the duties of, more or less. (That said, he prefers people "below" him in almost every circumstance due to insecurity reasons.) If given enough time, he can ease out of those roles and into a more balanced connection, though.

ALL THAT SAID, none of this is a guarantee. Someone could be a completely innocent, harmless little peasant waif who gets beaten up by burly football players on his doorstop every day and he could still just slam the door and yell at them to stop annoying him with all that racket. In the end, excepting rare impulses of charity, he's a deeply unpleasant and misanthropic man driven by irrational pseudo-logic and unstable moods - you kind of just have to be there at the right time to catch him when his rotten little heart is open.

FINALLY, as for enjoying parallel relaxation as quality time, I'd say that's his "default" mode of enjoying people's company. But he can learn to enjoy more energetic ways of bonding with people (maybe a little too much... he can have some serious thrill-seeking issues if exposure to enough excitement brings them out). As much as he'd insist he could only tolerate another person if they have a taste for opera and quiet reflection, I think he could really get into a monster truck rally if he'd let himself get in the mood for it.

[da-mous]

Every day, from the day he arrived to the day I escaped, I hid in my room from the monster who lived in my house. The monster my mom seemed to love more than her daughter

If I stayed out of sight, maybe he would forget about me, and he wouldn't come charging up the stairs to pull open my skull and scream into it again

Sometimes I was right for a month. Sometimes it was only an hour. But he would always come again. Charging up the stairs without warning, tearing open my skull, screaming into me. Jets of blood from his throat leaking into my brain, pooling inside my skull while I apologized profusely for deserving it yet again. Sometimes he screamed about one mistake I'd made. Sometimes it was every mistake I'd made since he came here. Sometimes he screamed about how his father would come home every day when he was a pup and tear into him with his gigantic teeth. But it was always my fault.

I should have just been grateful it wasn't as bad as being cut open by an even bigger monster's teeth every day

As my body grew away from me, as my friendships started lasting shorter and shorter, as I started to lose hope I could ever stop deserving this, I found more and more patches of his white fur growing on my body. Whatever I couldn't hide under my clothes I'd tear out of my skin. It hurt like hell, but monsters deserve to hurt

Even after I became an adult and escaped, I could still feel his blood coursing through my body, through my head, through my heart. I felt strong every time I tore out his fur. As the years passed it would take root more firmly in my skin, and so when I tore it out it would take patches of my skin with it, and his blood would pour out of my body in red streams. It was soothing to watch and it hurt like fucking hell and it was what a monster deserved

I spent years in isolation, keeping my distance from good people. I regularly tore out his fur, watching his irredeemable blood leave my body, until I was sure I was a good person too. Then I went out to find new people to bring into my life, to cherish and to thrive with. They wouldn't leave like all my friends did growing up. The monster had finally left my body

I made a home with some amazing, gentle, forgiving people. It went well, and it was everything I ever wanted. Until his fur started growing in faster and stronger. Every time I was told I had made a mistake, I would tear out some of his fur and show them his blood leaving my body, showing them I wasn't like him. Please. I'm not like him. I'm not him. This is all I've ever wanted. Please!!

His claws started to replace my fingernails, and I used them to hold my loved ones as close as I could

I learned to hide myself away in my room, to protect them from the monster, but when I did see them again I would dig his claws in deeper, holding them there with me. They didn't tell me I was turning into a monster. I already knew

I cursed him out. I tore and tore at his fur, finding more and more catharsis in showing myself, showing everyone, that I wasn't an unforgivable monster like he was

Until they finally left for good.

I sat, curled into a monstrous ball among the shattered glass of my mirror, the apologies I never got to make echoing through my empty home. They finally left because I'm a monster, because I'm just like him. Just as terrifying, just as evil, just as unforgivable. The absence of their forgiveness echoed louder off the barren walls than my apologies to them

Just barely visible in a small shard of the mirror was a little monster, curled into a ball, sobbing to herself. Terrified, because she'll never see her loved ones again. Or because she's just a kid, who will never be ready for the next time he comes charging up those stairs. Or... because his father hated him. Because he had no power to avoid being crushed between his own father's massive teeth. Because surely all he needed to feel secure, safe from those teeth, was control. However he had to get it. By screaming a child into submission or by digging his claws into his terrified partner's flesh

He... I mean I... I mean we, looked so small, so alone in this little shard. I tried to reach out to us, but my claws just dripped my loved ones' blood onto their image. There, in the shard, was my monstrous face, among droplets of the blood of the ones I held closest. My face, surrounded by my white fur. Vulnerable, afraid, alone all over again

I wrapped my patchy, bleeding, furry arms around myself in a hug, and so did the crying little monster in the shard. And as I did, my claws retracted. I hadn't known they could do that...

I held myself close, and thus I held him close too

"I forgive you"

[themagnusbane]

I swear, in all these Only Friends discourse that has been raging since the finale dropped on Saturday, I wonder if anyone actually took a second to be like: this story is being told through the eyes of 20-21 year old college students. They are the mouthpiece through which this story is being narrated. Is it possible therefore that their age, their lack of experience, their slightly sheltered lives, might play a role in how they navigate their friendships, the world at large and how they react?

Like @jojotichakorn has started several times, and I agree a 100%; this story isn’t a morality lesson. Nobody is saying casual sex bad. You are evil if you’re non-monogamous. Blah blah blah. As a graysexual polyam person who just uses the term queer cuz it’s easier than me having a 30 mins convo with a stranger about my orientation and how everything intersects for me, this show was everything. Cuz PEOPLE ARE MESSY! People are messy and judgemental and annoying. Just because they’re queer doesn’t mean they WON’T be messy. I was especially a fucking shithead at 21. Hell, I was a virgin until I turned 22 (not quite as sanctimonious as Mew, thank SPIRIT!!). Who I am now at 33 is vastly different from who I was over a decade ago. I moved out at 22. Been living on my own for that time. The person I am today is a product of all I have seen and experienced. I lost the black and white lens through which I viewed the world, in that period of time.

And you know what? I do feel that these kids (cuz they are kids to me. I haven’t sat in a university class in almost 13 years 🤷🏾‍♀️), will grow, and learn and evolve. Boston I think will do fantastically well in New York. He will continue to come into his own. Will figure out what kind of relationships work best for him (both in regards to his friendships and his sexual and romantic—if he wants any—relationships), and he will thrive.

Mew will eventually get that stick out of his arse and get off his high horse. He will realize that people are messy, imperfect, and make mistakes, and that he too is flawed. And that is okay. That he doesn’t need to be burdened to replicate the perfect home life he had with his mothers. That hell, just because he fancies himself better than others, doesn’t mean that he isn’t as capable of the depraved things the human mind can conjure up 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Ray will probably battle with his addiction all his life. Will realize that battling addiction is a life-long process. Will lean on the support he has. Will probably learn to forgive his mum, and come to terms with her frailty as a human being, and what that meant with regards her suicide. He will also probably let himself admit that as much as he loved her, and wanted her to hold him and love him, he is justifiably angry at her that she did neither of those things, and then left him. He will probably confront his dad about the role he played, and didn’t play in all of this. He might decide to break up with Sand later. And they will still be good friends. Or Sand might be that ex he hasn’t spoken to in years, yet he still thinks of and smiles when he hears I Wanna Be Yours.

Same goes for Sand, and Top and Nick as well.

And who knows, at some point Cheum might realize that she can be quite the shitty friend. That she’s been a shitty friend. She might reach out to her now former friends, and honestly sincerely apologize. Or not. That’s another thing. Some people take forever to grow. And some don’t learn a lick from their experiences. And when time has passed and they looked back at all their burned bridges and try to reconnect, they are left with hands fluttering in the wind, and everyone they love out of reach 🤷🏾‍♀️.

But yeah. I don’t know about y’all. Maybe you were well adjusted uni students who were always right and knew the right words to say, and didn’t fuck up every other Saturday, and whose lives were peachy. But I was a dumbass, making dumbass choices, being a sanctimonious dumbass, and being an absolute menace. And that was how I watched the show. Knowing that this is a story of these kids, told to us by THESE kids. P’Jojo was just the conduit for their story. But it is ultimately THEIRS. I just watched it for them. Not for any moral lessons (this isn’t a parable or a fable. And I say this as someone who has been fascinated by mythology since I was 7), but to be entertained by the lives of these messy kids, crash-figuring their way to adulthood, and thanking the universe that my early 20s are way behind me, cuz fucking hell. That era of my life was some shit-show!

[mostremote]

Can you talk about your opinion on Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes? Interested to hear why you dislike it. Loving the fic, my flatmate and I basically have a bookclub about it every Friday.

Thanks for the ask and I'm glad you like the fic!!

I’ll keep my Ballad criticism under the cut. I will only speak to the film, as I’ve only read little bits of the book. I also saw the film months ago so some of the details are fuzzy now.

Political philosophy. There are two versions of Snow’s origin story you can tell. One is political and the other is psychological (or you could combine these). A story about the rise of a dictator ought to have something to say about the nature of oligarchy, or how political systems thrive off psychopathy, or the banality of evil, or whatever it’s going to be. The Hobbes vs. Rousseau human nature question is Ballad’s only concern, and it explores this in no depth whatsoever. ‘I think there’s a natural goodness born into us all. […] You can either cross that line into evil… or not. And it’s our life’s work to stay on the right side of that line.’ This is so shallow, and we have no idea what good and evil even mean to these characters. And because Lucy Gray’s philosophical position and her vague exhortation of ‘freedom’ is so undeveloped (which is really just about rural vs urban aesthetics rather than any rights-based issue), she has no political role in a narrative about a future-dictator. Her role is almost entirely romantic, and unsuccessfully so (see below).

As for Snow’s philosophy, there is zero engagement with the dictatorial system that defines Snow in the original films. His final conclusion, ‘the whole world is an arena and we need the Hunger Games […] To remind us all who we truly are,’ has the seed of an interesting idea in it, but is unexplored. Why do people need to be reminded of their inherent brutality? What purpose does this serve? Why is it only the Districts who need to participate in that reminder, if this is supposed to serve as some self-revelation? Given that the Capitol is artificially engineering this brutality, how does that relate to some essentialist view of human nature? None of this is explored.

Psychologically flat/confused. Is this a story about corruption, a good man becoming bad? Or an exploration of psychopathy & violence, a bad man thriving? The problem is that this film depicts Snow’s first acts of violence, and yet they have no impact on him. His first murder is a completely justified act of self-defence. His second murder, too, is enacted to prevent a group of people getting hanged. He seems almost completely unaffected by these killings. Sejanus’ death provokes an emotional reaction, but given Sejanus is his friend this informs us about his feelings on guilt and loss, not about his feelings on murder. Which he seems to be fine with. Meanwhile, he has no moral qualms about become a gendarme for a fascist regime. Snow appears to have a psychopathic level of comfort with violence, and I would love if this was a film about a psychopath thriving in a society that inadvertently enables and celebrates such behaviour (Nightcrawler, There Will Be Blood), but it isn’t. We learn so little about the society itself and so little about Snow’s psychology that this falls completely flat.

Incompatible with Sutherland’s characterisation. Ballad’s version of Snow simply isn’t compatible with Sutherland’s regarding his thoughts on love and Katniss, and Sutherland’s paratexts are the entire reason I’m in this game. Snow finds Katniss exceptional: ‘no one else has been a threat to him and she was the very manifestation of threat,’ ‘Katniss Everdeen is the first person who has excited Snow, who has stimulated him.’ He is a man at the end of his life falling in love for the first time. And I find that wondrously compelling given the absurdity and horror of the circumstances of that love (she is ¼ of his age, he is the source of all her trauma). And he falls in love with her because she is a threat to him, not because she is pretty, or politically useful. In Ballad, Snow’s obsession with Katniss is completely reconfigured so it’s spurred by her superficial resemblance to Lucy Gray. I find this incredibly dull, and also confusing, given that Snow’s obsession with Katniss is weakest in the first film and strongest by the conclusion. Also, he is 18 in Ballad. 64 years pass before he meets Katniss. He should not still be obsessing about a teen fling. Gives it weird Humbert Humbert Annabel/Lolita vibes.

‘It’s the things we love most that destroy us’ is also weirdly revised in Ballad. In Mockingjay 1 it has the obvious immediate relevance to how Snow uses Peeta to control Katniss, sure, but as Sutherland acknowledges it also refers to Snow’s love for Katniss. What does it mean in this context? His love for Lucy Gray destroyed him? He didn’t seem to love her, and it barely affected him. His love for power corrupted him? But he’s never corrupted: he supports state power from the outset.

The Romance. Lucy Gray is a deliberately ambiguous character, and we never know if Snow really loves her or if she really loves him. Two dangerous characters manipulating one another with ambiguous motives can be fascinating (save me, House of Cards’ Mattie/Urquhart), but this lacked depth and clarity. Lucy Gray is too opaque, and Snow too underwritten (a better actor than Blyth could have maybe done more with this). Apart from both being pretty and (the film tells us) charismatic, there is little to make this romance compelling. This would have worked better for me if Lucy Gray had an actual political position that tempted Snow, but again, it’s too thin.

Ultimately Ballad is a pretty shallow film, and that’s whatever. The Hunger Games series is hardly a triumph of political philosophy. But as someone who loves Snow, and loves what Sutherland did with Snow, it’s jarring to see that interpretation thrown in the trash in favour of a few half-baked musings on human nature and such an uncompelling romance.

[gateskp]

A little snippet from my current revision. The Wraith is a so-called supervillain with power over shadows, they're supposedly Dazzler's arch-nemesis (she's part of an organisation of superheroes and has light-based powers), and Ty & Ben are twin brothers and their roommates/best friends/practically family.

In the living room, Dazzler moans quietly.  “Where am I?  I can’t—I can’t see!”  Panic rises in her voice, and for a second, it looks like she’s going to push herself up off the couch.

“Stop moving so much.”  I grab her by the elbows and grip them until she stops moving.  She’s still breathing too fast, and her heart is beating so hard it looks like it’s about to break through her ribcage.  She’s still panicking.

“Why can’t I see?  What happened to my eyes?”

“It’s a blindfold, you idiot.  Are you going to stay still, or do I have to keep holding onto you?”

She’s going to keep struggling and panicking.  For fuck’s sake.

I peel the very edge of the shadow covering her eyes away, so she can see her peripheral vision is still intact, and she’s not in a dumpster or an evil basement laboratory.  “There, are you happy now?”

“No!  Where am I?”

“In my living room.”

“What’re you going to do to me?”

This is getting us nowhere.  I let go of Dazzler’s elbows, shoving her arm backward until she can see the damage she did to herself, fresh blood oozing through the crusty scab that was just starting to form around the edges of the lacerations.

“Fix you and your stupidity.  Sit still or else.”

A smidge of tension leaves Dazzler’s body as she leans back on a pillow.  She’s calmer, but still shaking, still recoiling every time my skin brushes against hers.

Ben is the first to come into the living room, glaring daggers at Dazzler’s twitching body.

I don’t look up from the crumpled pack of sutures laying on my knee, answering his unspoken accusation.  “I know.  It’s a risk.  But a dead member of the Sublime on our street corner would’ve raised too many questions.  There would’ve been an investigation and they would’ve found out about me and us living here.”

“I prefer being not-dead too,” Dazzler mumbles.

“That’s not what I was going to say.”  Ben’s voice is still mostly monotone, but it has a little more life in it than before.  “I was going to suggest you get something to eat, I can patch her up.”

“No, it’s fine.  Go upstairs and get some rest.  You and Ty need it.”

Ben rests his hands on top of mine, sinking to the floor in front of me, and I finally look at him.  He looks like shit: bloodshot eyes with dark rings beneath them, wan face, slightly shaky fingers.  This is not the man who thrives on breeding rare and exotic plants, who finds joy in all aspects of nature, who has a heart of pure gold and refuses to see anything but the best in everyone.

“You look like hell, Ben.”

“You should look in a mirror.”

I cup his cheek with one hand and rest my forehead against his.  “I’m fine.  I’m more concerned with you and Ty.  Go sleep, please.  Please.”

Ben blinks slowly, eyes staying closed for a heartbeat before he sighs and nods.  “Okay.”

“Thank you.”

He stands, dragging his feet upstairs.

“You’re in love with him,” Dazzler mutters.

“If I were, I absolutely wouldn’t tell the person who calls me her archnemesis.”

“It’s okay to love someone.”

“Not in my line of work.”  Ben is more than capable of dealing with anything this lifestyle throws at him, he’s proven that time after time.  He has more raw power than Ty does.

“Does he know how you feel?”

I pause mid-suture.  “It’s not that simple.”

Dazzler tilts her head slightly, waiting for me to continue.

“There’s more than one way to love someone,” I finally say.

I concentrate on finishing Dazzler’s sutures, slightly relieved that the damage isn’t as bad as it originally looked.  There was a lot of blood, yes, but the lacerations aren’t that deep, and the burns I expected based on how I react to her light weapons are almost non-existent.  Her shadow did a lot of repair work, it’s probably exhausted right now.

[welcome-home-busnax-au]

Lets introduce the characters shall we?

Home

🏠 Pronouns: It/it’s, Any

🏠 In this au, Home is the entire island itself. Yes it is a sentient island as well, but no one else knows that quite yet.

🏠 Here, Home isn’t exactly evil, but it’s not exactly safe either. It has feelings and empathy to others, but it still needs to “eat” every once in a while.

🏠 Once people consume a Bugsnak, it makes them want to eat more and more and more. Until eventually their whole body turns into bugsnax itself. The parts of snakmatter collapse and those Pices of bugsnax just scatter off somewhere. This repeated cycle it what keeps Home and the rest of the Bugsnak inhabitants feed and thriving.

🏠 Much like the game suggests, the island needs to basically “eat” to keep itself basically alive. It was a GIANT island after all, so while it can it could go at least a while without eating, it would need to eat again at another time. If not…. We’ll let’s just say.. Bad things will happen…

🏠 Every now and then, a straggler or two will eventually come across Home, so it usually never “goes hungry.”

🏠 Home ends up really liking Wally and decides to not consume him. Instead, Home lets him peacefully live on the island. Wally helps Home keeps Home feed with other people that randomly end up on the island.

🏠 As of now, Home has only let a small amount of grumpuses, aka: Wally and his friends, live peacefully on the island.

******************************************************* *******************************************************

Wally Darling

🍎 Pronouns: He/Him

🍎 Wally was the first to enter the island. In this AU, Wally was an orphaned grumpus with no friends and who had no where else left to go in life. Some how, Wally found out about about the island myth and figured that no one would really miss him, he decided to head out to the island himself.

🍎 He is very kind and gentle to his friends and to all the bugsnax he comes across, even the aggressive ones like him for some reason.

🍎 Wally does not eat the bugsnax on the island. He’d much rather be in their company instead. He actually survived by eating other food from the many crops that others before him had left behind.

🍎 Favorite bugsnax: Cinnasnail and Crapple (Red and Green), and Strabby

******************************************************* *******************************************************

Sally Starlet

🌟 Pronouns: She/Her

🌟 Sally heard about the island by pure coincidence. She was honestly just curious about it and wanted to see things for herself. So she ended up sneaking off to the island in the middle of the night on a boat.

🌟 She likes to dress up the bugsnax in little clothes she makes herself and sometimes holds plays with her friends and the bugsnax themselves. They absolutely adore Sally and love her plays.

🌟 You’ll sometimes see her making little hats for the bugsnax on occasions. She’s still trying to find a way to get the much bigger bugsnax into little costumes.

🌟 Favorite bugsnax: She loves each and every bugsnax she’s come across. Sally: “How could I possibly choose? They’re all such great actors!”

******************************************************* *******************************************************

Frank Frankly

🦋 Pronouns: He/him, They/them

🦋 Frank had his eyes set for this place for a LONG time. He’s done lots and lots of research about this island over the years, but there’s only so much one can do. They just had to go there in person to see for themselves.

🦋 Once Frank heard about the island’s existence and of its unique and undocumented bug species, you know he saved up every dime they could so both Frank and their husband Eddie could make this expedition. Frank practically begged Eddie go with him. He really didn’t want to go alone and leave their husband all alone as well.

🦋 Favorite bugsnax: Thinks they’re all amazing, but prefers the more butterfly looking ones like the Flutterjam, and the Cheepoofs (the normal, white, & flamin’ ones)

******************************************************* *******************************************************

Howdy Pillar

🐛 Pronouns: He/Him

🐛 He actually can along with Julie. They had a boating accident that caused them both to end up on the island.

🐛 Howdy is one of the few that actually the bugsnax. After eating some bugsnax, Howdy has gained multiple limbs and some extra height due the snackmatter he consumed.

🐛 After some time, he set up his own little store. You can trade with items or with bugsnax in order to get other goods from Howdy’s shop.

🐛 Favorite bugsnax: Bopsicle, Tacroach, Cellystix, Fryder, Green Peelbug, Pineantula, and Pinkle

******************************************************* *******************************************************

Poppy Partridge

💐 Poppy used to work as a nurse and at orphanages for many years. She looked after lots of people. From toddlers to the elderly. After retiring from her job as a caretaker, she sought out to explore uncharted places. This was how she found out about the island of bugsnax. Of course she was BEYOND nervous at first, due to all the tales and myths she’s overheard about it, but she still put on a brave face and made her way to the island.

💐 She can be a a bit jumpy at times and will sometimes hide when something spooks her, but she has a good heart. She deeply cares for her friends that she’s come to know and love.

💐 After eating some of the Bugsnax on the island, Poppy actually gained a few extra feet from her original height, as well as some new colorations on her body. Now she’s actually pretty close to Howdy’s height due the snackmatter she had consumed. This is actually part of why she’s so nervous all the time. She’s afraid of falling over and hurting someone with this new height of hers. Because of this, she’s become a bit clumsy, but she’s slowly learning to get used to it.

💐 Favorite bugsnax: Baby Cakelegs, Tropicabug, Chillynilly, and Charmallow

******************************************************* *******************************************************

Eddie Dear

💌 Pronouns: He/him

💌 In the end, Eddie decided to join his bug-loving husband, Frank. He was a bit admittedly skeptical at first, but he trusted his husband enough to know that Frank know what they were doing and what he was getting in to.

💌 Some time after arriving at the island, a lot of the Bunger species took a liking to Eddie for some reason. He was very confused at first. The Bungers just started following him one day and always stuck close by ever since. Eddie didn’t really complain, though. He just couldn’t say no to their cute burger faces. He really loved the little guys!

💌 When the gang traveled to the second island ((from the dlc)) Eddie begged and begged Frank about taking home the ginormous Bunger Royale once he found out about its existence. He was sadly denied this every time. Turns out, the giant Bunger Royale was just super affectionate, especially towards Eddie. It would always run up to him, but that sometimes lead to accidental head butts with Eddie being launched a few feet away. Don’t worry, Eddie was always unharmed afterwards! He always gave it the most attention when they would do visits to the island.

💌 Favorite bugsnax: Bunger, BBQ Bunger, Bunger Royale, Hunnabee, Kweeble, and Golden Kweeble

******************************************************* *******************************************************

Julie Joyful

🌸 Pronouns: She/her

🌸 Julie actually ended up dragging Howdy along with her on a trip to sail across the open seas with her! She actually owns a house boat, believe it or not! At some point there was an unfortunate incident that happened that caused the boat to sink. They had no choice but to jump over board.

🌸 Luckily, they happened to be passing by an unknown island. Both She and Howdy were able to safely swim to the shores of the island. This was when they met Wally.

🌸 After eating bugsnax, the snakmatter caused Julie to gain these rainbow colored horns on her head as well as rainbow teeth from eating some of the Rainbow Sweetieflies.

🌸 Favorite bugsnax: Rainbow Sweetiefly, Snaquiri, Instabug, Lovely Sweetiefly, and Crystal Sweetiefly

******************************************************* *******************************************************

Barnaby B. Beagle

🌭 Pronouns: He/Him

🌭 Barnaby was actually the second Grumpus to arrive on the island. He was abandoned on this island by a family who did not want him. Wally was able to find him before anything else bad to him. Wally, along with Home, took in Barnaby and raised him themselves. He and Wally have been best friends ever since.

🌭 After a few good years of eating the Bugsnax, he gained a nose that looks like a Weenyworm (his favorite snack). Also after eating a Stewdler, he ended up keeping the empty bowl and uses it as a hat.

🌭 Favorite bugsnax: Weenyworm, Shy Weenyworm, Baby Cakelegs, Stewdler, Flapjackarak and Waffstackarak

******************************************************* *******************************************************

Y/N (here’s where you come into the story…)

📸 Pronouns: Any (genderless)

📸 Y/N is a self proclaimed journalist. They love to explore the supernatural and enjoy posting their findings online to their small blog. Y/N isn’t exactly the most popular, with others not believing these stories, claiming them as being fake, and sometimes leaving mean comments as well.

📸 After learning about this myth of an island, Y/N did all to research they could. Finally once they were good and ready, the packed up everything they could and secretly set off in their hot air balloon ship. They left in the middle of the to not be caught. It was kinda illegal to go to the island after all.

📸 This part is basically about the same as the intro to the game. Once you make it to the island, something large crashes into your ship and you end up falling out and landing somewhere in a forest in the middle of the island. At some point after walking to find where your ship went, you accidentally stumble of a cliff and end up hitting your head and going unconscious.

📸 Favorite Bugsnax: ??? (This is up for you to decide on your own. And yes, unlike the game, Y/N will have the ability to eat bugsnax!)

((Edit: I forgot to add Home’s bio/intro thing))

[ram-de]

[read] carter bennett is everything

AWWW small carter :( gshshshsh he's a good older brother my son carter

I love timber wolf😭 cute expressive pup

Fucking. Thomas bennett. this book is gonna be full of Thomas Bennett apologist propaganda isn't it. He's only human. He made mistakes. Well he should have apologize before he's dead not after! I will refrain from complaining about Thomas Bennett because this is my son carter's moment. OH MY GOD thank you thank you Carter for not... Absolving him of all his wrongdoing. HOLD HIM ACCOUNTABLE!!

Carter's farewell speech from his pov... I'm tearing up a lot reading this book... SOMEONE TIE HIM DOWN!!!

I always felt like the bond thing is so... Convenient sometimes. Carter should be all blue and tingling how come nobody noticed it? His presence? But then again Ox said he could mute bonds just like when he's gonna be the martyr. Hmm....

reliving all of this memories of leaving gordo... Pain... I don't have a choice. Oh the lie you tell yourself so you can sleep better, Thomas Bennett. My resentment for you is endless😂 He's gotten an easy way out after ruining both Gordo and Mark's life. Fucking Thomas Bennett.

So far though, in terms of trying to make things light of the impact of fucking Thomas Bennett, this book isn't as bad as Ravensong. Which is good. Please keep it like this

What should I do if I'm beginning to feel so repulsed of Thomas Bennett😭 Don't fucking try to be the victim in this one. OUUUUUU yeaa tell him mark. FUCKING SAY IT TO GORDO THEN?? LIKE MAN HE APOLOGIZED TO MARK. HE APOLOGIZED TO ELIZABETH. WHY. THE FUCK. DID HE NOT APOLOGIZE TO GORDO???? I need this man to go to alpha hell.

Mark is a better person than me because I'd be legit give that fucking shitass a solid punch or two (I cannot fight or do any offensive skill to save my life)

DON'T FUCKING TOUCH HIM YOU... THOMAS FUCKING BENNETT... AND DONT TRY TO JUSTIFY YOURSELF!!!! UGH. Mark can't even grief in peace wtf?? I FUCKING HATE THOMAS BENNETT.

Canes and pinecones, epic and awesome. Cutiepie adorable baby Joe it's nice to see you again😭 you were so different later on...

This psychic-witch lady is funny hshsjsjsjjs

I just read the table of contents... Is Elizabeth gonna die :-(

Timber wolf my cute pup you just gave Carter attachment issues shgsgjshdudh

Meeting the evil father in law...

HSGSHSJSH CARTER AND GAVIN IS A FUNNY PAIR I love opposites attract you don't understand

SEE I COULD LIVE OFF FROM SIMPLY READING THEIR INTERACTION I AM THRIVING I AM LIVING NOTHING MATTERS ANYMORE GRRRAAHHHHh

😐 Thomas. Fucking. Bennett. Knowing robert has another son. Keeping that from everyone. Visits him from time to time. COMPLICIT WITH THIS ALL. How the fuck do you see Gordo back at home and smile to him knowing his dad fucking cheated and that he have another brother??? SHOULD I MAKE ANOTHER POST ON WHY THOMAS BENNETT IS THE SOURCE OF ALL EVIL???

Thomas Bennett really flopped in his alpha leadership ngl how do you even fumble Mark your brother, him always around and chose Richard as the second instead? Tf

Elizabeth singing / dancing /cooking moments always make me soft... :-( she danced with ox, reminiscent of his late mother. She cooked with robbie for kelly... on one occasion she danced with joe too. I don't think gordo have danced. He sang with the pack on the road. But idk with Elizabeth. And now with Gavin. She's... SHE'S MY MOTHER....

It was warm like a summer day. It was candy canes and pinecones, it was epic and awesome, it was dirt and leaves and rain, it was grass and lake water and sunshine.

I always loved repetition hsgshsj they're so endearing to me (Ox has drilled into my head that his father gave him shits but that's ok because he's my son.)

Carter spitting facts a lot today. That's true. FUKC YOU THOMAS BENNETT. you kept Gavin here! You're complicit! Scum of earth! Fucking hell I hate it here. He's the one who wabbled in dreams AFTER HIS DEATH. Fucking coward.

“My dad says that Bennetts don’t deserve to be in control. They ruin everything they touch.” you're right kid from Carter's memory lmaoo Abel and Thomas were not good leaders so props :)

FUCKING THOMAS BENNETT'S SECOND RICHARD COLLINS. ruining my son's Joe childhood like wtf. This is all Thomas Bennett's fault.

Wait WAIT THIS IS THE ROADTRIP CREW REUNION😭

Gavin you menace gshgsjdjf

Please tell me Carter did laundry on his trip............... 😔

Wait whos taking on the green creek mayor's position if Carter ran away.

Aileen and Patice: the ultimate plot device

More Thomas Bennett forgivement propaganda. Snooze. This is... This is very blatant attempt to redeem thomas bennett and as #1 Thomas Bennett hater I will never stand for this😠 there is no way you can backtrack everything from ravensong, tj klune hshsjshsghs

Daddy Rico😭 gonna have a small pup (baby) soon

I'm tearing up oh lord this keeps happening. Every reunion... Damn it...

How the hell Elizabeth keeps knowing every single. Lady??? Robbie's mother. And then Gavin's mother. HMMM? ARE YOU A COMPLICIT TOO ELIZABETH

Damn it I can't believe everyone in town knows Gordo's father cheated on another lady and decided to traumatize him further through child labor and other means. That's disappointing. (yes I will babify gordo until the end of time) and that is a lot to ask ngl Elizabeth...

WERE HOME BABYYYY AND THAT MEANS MORE COZY PACK DYNAMICS AAAGAGHHHHH

Thank you, Carter being the only sane non-TB-apologist here... My son Carter... NOOO THEY'RE GASLIGHTING HIM UP... Thomas Bennet really has the whole clan manipulated... That scum... don't worry I'll carry the resentment enough for the whole pack

HSGSHSHSHSHS ngl I thought the premise of Carter leaving is a bit repetitive (and a bit dumb). but it is what it is

Gordo you old man you have said the father's day joke line before!! Your age is showing...!

My son robbie speaking facts. Gordo could kick the bennets when they returned. They had no rights.

I would read a whole book full of these, cozy, daily moments of the packs... No hunters, no alpha society shit, no wacky wizard trying to have power. Just... JUST STUFF LIKE THIS PLS... Die rabbit die? COURTING CHAPTER NEXT... I need to see Carter flustered.

Thomas uh... I had few objections to Elizabeth's heartful speech to Carter but I'll let it slide for the sake of, sake... Oh Elizabeth is dropping death flags... Rip... My queen...

Oh my god team former humans is so gentle with gavin😭 anything... NOTEPADS!!! just like bar scene in ravensong... My fav...

GAVIN DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE AGHJHhsshgsjs this is so sweet it hurts

I had several objections on how it can be Thomas Bennett's faults, Joe. But I won't say it because brothers bonding time. And I can kinda see his point... Damn Zen Alpha...

SHUEHSHDUE JOE :-( the bestest little brother ever please this is hurting me

I wish so too. Thomas is an awful alpha. Sure he may be a decent husband and father. Other than that he is shitty. I don't know why he has to pre-decide Joe as an alpha... Did he and Elizabeth go for a third son until they got an alpha... THIS IS SO INAPPROPRIATE I'll be back to Thomas slander

Tho-- no, no. I have better self control than this... HMM... ACTUALLY... SCREW IT. IT FELT LIKE. tj klune is like. Aware of how shitty Thomas Bennett too and to redeem him. He kept trying to backpedal. More and more propaganda, tch... the letters feel eerily similiar to my thoughts IF I were to be swayed to thomas bennett forgivement propaganda. No. No. I will not go over there.

Hmmm I don't know what to feel about this whole

*Thomas Bennett ruined a life and causes immense heartbreak that lasts 20 years (mark, gordo)*

Someone: oh sure he made an oopsie mistake he loved you, you know? Just forgive him, it's not a big deal. Get over it you fucking whiny bitch.

Less to say, I am not impressed...

HSGSHSJSH carter can be a straight one sometimes (as in, comedy duo. What do you call it, boke? Tama?)

THANK YOUUUI for backpedalling about gordo's mother. she's a victim. She barely get her respects even when she told the truth, that wolf lies, that wolf used gordo. Back then, Abel, Richard and FUCKING THOMAS BENNETT all is complicit in the scenescheme.

My son Gavin is 32 years old😭 when was he bitten because it can't be that long right...

I love that they're babying my 32 years old son😭

Elizabeth... You're so strong for admitting it all... Still won't change the fact that you AND FUCKING THOMAS BENNETT SCUM manipulated ox... And Mark... And gordo... Yeah idk...

Why are we skipping carter's i am wolf wolf provide wolf give food big wolf gavin must give food racoon racoon die racoon for gavin gavin eat racoon. Like WHY

THE JOY OF WHAT😭

I love love love the moments each protagonist got with other members of the pack...makes it very lively and just cozy

ELIZABETH HAD A CRUSH IN MAGGIE WHAT IN THE WORLD

...i feel like I should do write more live reactions but using the app is a hassle. This is now twitter💀 whatever...

Jessie is so real for cutting off that guys monologue. If you want to talk a lot at least make it interesting. It's not. I am still traumatized from Elijah's 3-pages rant referencing bibles and shit.

[jupote]

Chapter Two: Legend Creates A Time Paradox In The Name Of Arson

<- Chapter 1 Archive

It had been almost a week since being in Legends world. They were now in Skys Hyrule, in the Faron Woods to be exact. Sky said they were somewhere in the Deep Woods, which he thought was a very accurate name for where they were. The trees were tightly packed together and if it weren’t for Skys weirdly intimate understanding of the woods, they would’ve been ambushed a dozen times by now. 

Even though it had been some time since their fight, he and Wild were still on tense terms with each other, the lingering resentment from the argument carrying over even a week later. Legend felt terrible now that he's had time to calm down. They hadn't been particularly close to begin with but Legend knew he didn't want to leave the two of them on bad terms, especially not when Wild was their cook. Legend knew what he had to do to make it up to Wild and he knew how to execute it. Would he get in so much trouble for it? Oh absolutely; he would be surprised if Time or Twilight didn’t kill him on the spot for it. But would it be worth it to not be on Wild’s bad side? Of course.

“Hey Sky!” Legend called out to the skyward hero who was leading their group. Said hero slowed down, giving Legend a sleepy smile. Legend only felt slightly bad as he bothered him. He had been rudely woken up by the world switch, they all had been, but Sky needed the most sleep of the group. Along with being woken up, he was immediately forced to lead the group to a safer area, given that this land was his Hyrule. Luckily, the area they were in wasn’t too dangerous, just a hassle to navigate. Sky threw his arm over Legends shoulder, pulling the slightly shorter hero to his right side in a hug. That was something Legend would never get used to, how casually Sky was willing to give others affection. It was completely alien to most of them, aside from Wind and Time, who reveled in the free affection. 

It was no use trying to fight the affection, Sky was like a blob. Once he got his hands on you, it was impossible to get him off. Everyone has been a victim of Skys night time cuddles a handful of times, some even needing to be saved from the evil clutches of his warm hugs. Legend didn’t even try fighting to get out, knowing he’d need to use every act of camaraderie to get Sky to agree to what he wanted to do. “So Sky, this forest is pretty… forest-y, right? There’s trees and… and grass. And that’s some forest-y stuff if I’ve ever seen some.” He started.

Sky, the ever patient and calm person he is, nodded along. “Yeah, the deep woods are some of the best forests you’ll ever see. There’s a dragon in the Ancient Cistern, her name’s Faron, and she watches over Faron woods. Since the deep woods are close to her cistern she makes sure to keep the forest very foresty to keep it hidden. The first time I came down here I was overwhelmed by how green and lively everything was, nothing like Skyloft." He rambled, starting to lean on Legend as he started getting more fatigued. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, since this forest is so plant-y and so tree-y and there's a bushy-ness everywhere, why don't I help you make it less… green. Make it a little less dense?"

"And how do you suggest we do that?"

"Well, you see. In my world, we do this thing to help the forest. When it gets too dense and younger plants have trouble growing properly or monsters get too out of hand, we do a special… uh- ceremony to help lessen the planty-ness and tree-y-ness for the health of the forest."

"Oh? Does it really work?"

"It does! Apparently we've been doing it for centuries and the forests are completely healthy and new seedlings can easily find purchase anywhere!"

"You have to tell me what the ceremony is! I'm sure Faron would love to see the forest thriving and monster free!"

"Well, the ceremony is kind of dangerous. You have to make sure all animals get to a safe spot and set up safety precautions so the… ceremony doesn't get out of hand." Legend doesn't think he's fibbed this hard since his third adventure. Even then, you could hardly call what he did fibbing. Sky seemed to buy it though, he was completely immersed in this ceremony that Legend was offering.

"That should be easy. There's not a lot of animals down here aside from the Kikwi, but they'll happily move somewhere safe if we ask nicely. And for safety precautions then we could ask the others to-"

"No! I mean- we can't ask them to help! It's uh, it's customary for the- for the um…" Legend fumbled. Crap, I didn't think this far ahead!

Luckily he was saved when a voice popped up on Sky's left. "It's customary for the owner of the forest to entrust one or two people to the task. They have to meet every requirement and make sure the forest doesn't get destroyed. Isn't that right, Legend?"

Legend almost choked on his own spit as the voice of Four scared him pantless. (He never wore pants, but that's besides the point.) When did Four get there?! How long had Four been there?! He'd been there long enough to know what Legend was doing based on the look on his face. Legend would look into that later, he wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth when the gift horse was three feet tall and giving him a mischievous glare. "Yes! How did you know Four? The owners' not even allowed to help, they have to trust the individuals to do a thorough job."

"I didn't know you knew about this ceremony Four! Is it really as effective as Legend says?"

"Incredibly so. The King let my grandfather do it once when he was younger and it was definitely interesting to watch."

"Really? Now you have to tell me Legend, I'll pass this information over to Faron and let her know that I'll gladly help."

Legend barely kept himself from tensing up as Sky volunteered to do it. Legend almost felt guilty for lying to their first ascendant but oh well. It couldn't be helped. "Oh uh, since you're friends with the owner of the forest then you can give permission for the ceremony! No need to bother such an important dragon for such a small ceremony!" 

Sky was deeply interested in the ceremony, no longer looking like he was about to fall over from exhaustion. He opened his mouth again, maybe to ask more questions but Legend beat him to it. "I'll tell you about the ceremony when we get to somewhere safe to camp, yeah? That way you can immediately assign someone or two to do it." And I don't have to worry that someone might eavesdrop and stop me. He wouldn't say that last part out loud as he looked at Four.

Four had the smuggest look Legend has ever seen on his tiny face. Sky nodded along, seemingly going along with the idea. He looked around for a few seconds before taking a sharp left turn, almost choking Legend as he turned with no warning. Legend let out an ugly squeak as he was ragdolled around against his will. "There's a little clearing over this way that the Kikwi Elder, Bucha, protects. We should be safe enough there for a camp."

"A little warning would've been nice, Sky," Legend growled and wrested his way out from under Sky's arm. The skyward hero laughed and loosened his hold, allowing his prisoner to escape.

"Sorry Legend, forgot I had you there. You're so comfortable to hold and didn't try getting out that I mistook you for a stuffed loftwing," he teased. Legend felt himself go red from embarrassment, looking away from Sky and he slowed his walking speed to be near Warrior. 

Warrior, the ever present thorn in his side, was quick to make fun of the shorter Link’s redness. "Did someone enjoy their cuddle time with Sky? If you wanted some cuddles you could've come to me, I've been told by the ladies that I'm extremely cuddly," the war hero teased. 

Legend choked on air and glared at him. “I am going to throttle you!” Despite his anger, Warrior only threw his head back with a hearty laugh, clearly unbothered by the threat.

It took until they were inside a hollowed out tree that they set up camp. A giant lump of grass and dirt sat outside the hole to the tree, which Sky started talking to. Legend didn’t want to question it. If Time could talk to a tree, Wild could talk to flowers and Four could talk to grass, Legend was willing to overlook Sky’s dirt friend. 

Even though it was still bright outside, Sky said he wanted to set up camp early and to give him some time to figure out where everything was. Legend was impressed by how fluidly the first of them lied.

As soon as he could, Sky dragged Legend to the outskirts of the camp, giving the shorter Link his attention. Four had seen them and ended up following them, the same smug look on his face as he noticed the predicament Legend had gotten himself into. 

“So about this ceremony you were telling me about earlier,” Sky started as soon as they were out of earshot from the others. 

“I see, i see…” sky hummed along thoughtfully. Legend could see the gears turning in his head, almost like he was trying to figure out what kind of ceremony it was. 

“Oh, right! The ceremony!”  With a grunt, Legend forcefully broke out of the near-chokehold Sky was slowly trapping him into. “Well, you have to be very careful with how you do it and how you go about doing this. The people you set for the job have to take extreme caution not to damage new parts of the forest or parts that are meant to be cleared up.”

“They also have to be vigilant and make sure the ceremony doesn't get out of hand,” Four helpfully added, adding fuel to both the metaphorical and physical fire. Legend nodded.

Legend and Four bounced off of each other as they elaborated, glorifying the ceremony and what it entailed. Just before Legend finally revealed what the ‘ceremony’ actually was, Sky cut him off. 

“You’re going to ask Wild to commit arson, aren’t you.” he didn't even ask. He stated it as if he knew what Legened wanted this whole time!

Legend stalled, caught in the line of fire as sky figured out his grand master plan. “Uh- no why- I wouldn't-! Where would- why would I ever-?!” He stuttered. He swallowed hard, trying to compose himself. The look from Sky- and Four’s uncontrollable laughter - were hardly helping his composure.

“Holy shit Legend! He figured it out faster than I thought he would!” Four howled, doubled over from the pure force of his laughter.

“H-hey! Shut up!” Legend hissed, cheeks red in embarrassment. He knew his plan wasn't the most thought out, but to think Sky was able figure out everything down to who he wanted to do it?! “Was it really that obvious?” Legend sulked, looking away from the sky and glaring at Four. 

“Not at first. When Four joined in and started backing you up is when I got a little suspicious,” sky did his stupidly patient smile at Legend. “Were you really going to ask me to let you burn an ancient forest, my ancient forest, and expect me not to say anything? Why would I ever agree to that, especially in front of everyone else?”

Legend looked around them, pointedly looking at how far away the rest of their group was. “But we’re not around everyone else?” he pointed out the obvious.

“Exactly. We’re not around everyone else. I'll buy you three hours, be quick. Im not getting caught in the crossfire and Im not taking the blame. I also expect half of every bet you win today.” Sky quickly and efficiently laid out his conditions. Four didn't even have time to calm himself down, the shortest link laughing so hard that sound wasnt coming out of him anymore. If Legend wasn't so shocked about everything he would've been worried that the smallest wasn't breathing. “Hey, Wild! Come over here!” Sky shouted, drawing over thee wildest hero. 

Wild perked up and seemed to automatically start moving before he noticed who was in the party. He grimaced but headed over anyway, shooting Legend a displeased look. “You need something, Sky?” He asked, standing as far away from Legend as possible. From the campsite, Legend noticed Hyrule peer over at their forming group. Thinking quickly, he waved Hyrule over before he could draw any extra unwanted attention their way.

“Oh no, I don't need anything,” Sky chirped cheerfully. “Legend and Four here do, though! Have fun you three!” And with that he was off, heading back to the main party. “Four,” he corrected, as Hyrule passed him at a jogging pace.

Legend and Wild awkwardly looked at each other, the tense air not being helped by Four’s desperate pants to catch his breath. “Dear Hylia, oh my Hylia, that was not real. I know that was not real,” he wheezed out. “Oh that- I needed that laugh, dear Hylia. Thank you for that Legend.”

“Shut up, Four!” Legend pleaded, embarrassment once again coating his face. 

Legend huffed and stood up from his place on the floor, cupping his hands to make his voice louder. “Sky! We’re going to get firewood! We’ll be back!” He yelled, motioning for Wild, Four and Hyrule to follow him. 

Wild looked on in uncomfortable confusion, gaze switching between the two links. “So uh, did you guys need anything, or…?” He asked, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“What’s going on?” Hyrule asked, slowing to a stop. “What’d you call me over for?”

“Don't wander too far!” He faintly heard Sky yell back. 

“Hey wait-! We didn't agree to this!” Wild glared at Legend, stubbornly staying rooted in his spot. 

“Legend, at least tell us what you're doing,” Hyrule said with a frown and hesitantly followed his predecessor.

At Four’s insistence, Wild seemed to relax. At least if he and Legend broke into another fight, there'd be witnesses to prove he didn't start it. “Fine, but you better be quick. I want to make lunch before it gets too late in the day.”

“I'll tell you when we get there, don't worry. Quick, we’re losing time. We only have three hours.”

“Don't worry you two, you'll love it. Legend might get killed by Time and Twilight, but you'll love it.”

It was a short walk to the treeline of the forest, the thick greenery providing shade and cover from the rest of the party. That's where Wild stopped, stubbornly refusing to go any deeper. “This is as far as I'll go until you tell me what you're planning.” he glared at Legend. 

Four looked at Legend, looked at Wild, and seemed to burst as he put his fist to his mouth. Giggles could be heard around his hand, shoulders shaking with the suppressed laughter. 

“Is he ok?” Legend heard Hyrule whisper to Wild. 

“I’m- I’m ok, don’t-” a laugh snort spilled out from him. “Don’t worry-”

“Hyrule, do you have enough magic to cast spells now?” Legend interrupted.

Hyrule, while confused, nodded and cast a small flame spell. The flame flickered and danced at the end of his index finger. “I've had enough rest and potions, I’m fully recharged. Why?”

“Wild, you have your Slate on you, right?” Legend asked, ignoring Hyrule's question as he eyed the forest around them. They were not deep enough, the others would be able to quickly stop them if they started here.

“Yeah… I always do..” Wild shifted his body so the hip holding the Sheikah Slate was angled away from Legend.

“Do you have a flame weapon in there?”

Legend could see the moment their plan dawned on Hyrule. “Oh,,. Oh Legend don’t- Are we really going to…?” He asked, panic and disappointment in his voice. “Four, you know what he's planning right?!” He asked the smith, brows pinched in confusion. Four nodded in confirmation, a massive grin on his face. “Legend! How did you get Four to agree to this?! No, better question, how did you get Sky of all people to agree to this?!” 

“Hyrule, shush! Keep your voice down or they’ll hear us!” Legend hissed, looking over to see if the group had heard them. While they were far away, Legend wouldn't be surprised if the rancher had freakish hearing even in his Hylian form.

Wild, sick of being left out of the conversation, exploded. “Can someone please tell me what you're planning?! Legend drug us out to this forest with no explanation and I'm the only person here worried he's going to kill me!”

Four burst out laughing, unable to contain the sound any longer. 

“You’re worried that he’s going to what ?!” He howled.

“You’re worried that I’m going to what ?!” Hyrule and Legend both shouted at the same time.

Wild looked between the both of them, arms crossed in frustration. "First we had that fight a week ago then a week later he's dragging me into the woods with no explanation. I don't claim to be the smartest of the group, but I'm also not the dumbest."

"I'm not going to kill you," Legend sighed in exasperation. "I'm apologizing for starting that fight, not killing you. I got permission from Sky so don't worry about getting in trouble with him. And yes, I'll take the blame and the punishment Time and Twilight plan to dish out." 

The area was tensely quiet as he said that, Four gaining control of himself once the atmosphere turned serious. "You're… apologizing? By letting me burn Sky's forest?" Wild asked incredulously.

"Well, yeah. You don't have to, just thought you'd like to safely let out those pyromaniac urges. But if you don't want to, you can head back…"

"No!" Wild shouted, eyes wide with glee at the thought of causing fire damage. "I mean, I'll do it."

Legend nodded, glad he was at least willing to try and repair their relationship. "We have to go deeper in so we don't accidentally burn down this clearing but once we're far enough in you can go crazy. Sky said there weren't many animals living in this forest and monsters should be everywhere."

Wild started bouncing in glee, hand hovering over his slate to grab any fire weapon he could get his hands on. Hyrule awkwardly raised his hand, bringing attention to himself. "If you're apologizing to Wild, why are Four and I here?"

"He wouldn't leave me alone,” Legend shrugged, pointing a thumb over to Four.

"I needed to see how this shitshow went down,” Four grinned. “You should have seen him convincing Sky earlier, it was a complete mess. Plus it's not everyday you can help burn down a forest.”

“I thought you said you helped your grandfather when you were younger?” Legend asked, remembering what Four said earlier.

Four shot him a look. “I lied. Hello! I lied, you lied, we were lying ! You can just say you didn’t appreciate my help! I can take criticism. How would you rate my lying abilities on a scale of Wind to Time?”

Legend rolled his eyes at the smith, choosing not to comment on that. "And you're here,” he directed to Hyrule, “Because I thought you would want a hand in the damage. But just as I told Wild, you don't have to stay."

Hyrule similarly shot down that idea. "No! If Sky said you could then I'm more than willing to join in! I'm just confused on why you didn't ask Wind to join instead of me."

Legend looked at him as if the answer was obvious. "Winds a good kid but he would've ratted us out immediately. You at least would let us have fun before telling on us." As he explained he started walking deeper into the forest, waiting for the others to get the memo. 

The three of them followed Legend, Wild and Hyrule excitedly chattering about the best way to light a tree on fire. Legend looked around the area they were in, deciding they were deep enough. He turned around, opening his arms in a wide gesture. "We're here. Go wild, have fun.” 

“Hyrule! Come grab some kindling with me! No good fire starts without good kindling.” Four urged the traveling hero, grabbing his wrist and marching off to a random patch of trees. Just before he left, he turned to give Legend a look. A look that he could only assume meant that he needed to make a proper apology.

Legend internally sighed, knowing what he had to do. He turned around to look at Wild, finding that the Link was already looking at him. "I know this isn't the best apology, and nothing can take back what I said and did,” he started after a moment, when he was sure the other two wouldn’t overhear him. “I said some hurtful things I really should not have said, and that was wrong of me. I hope this can at least show that I'm sorry and that I want to try and fix our relationship, even if it's so we don't hate each other. We don't have to be buddy-buddy with each other, but I don't want us to act like strangers." He faintly heard the other two arguing over what was better, tree bark or dried leaves. He wasn't going to touch that argument: they were both wrong. Pine needles were obviously the best type of kindling. 

“Not going to join us? What, are you too old to participate in arson?”

Wild was quiet as Legend spoke, soaking the words in. “You’re right, you did say some shitty things. Things I would’ve never expected a teammate to use against one another,” he paused. “But I did do something stupid. You had every right to get mad at me and I should have accepted that.” He awkwardly kicked his foot, looking away from Legend. It was an awkward apology but at least they were talking about it. “I don’t forgive you yet, but please give me a few days. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fully trust you but I think I can trust you enough.”

“That’s more than I expected. Thank you for being willing to try.” Legend smiled, glad they were able to reconcile, even if just a little bit. “Now, don’t you have a fire to start?” He teased, watching as Four and Hyrule made a pile of leaves, branches and what looked like bark.

Legend smirked, grabbing his firerod from his gear pouch. (A pouch that he hasn’t taken off for more than a few minutes at a time.) “Who said I wasn’t participating?”

–

Legend, Four, Wild, and Hyrule sat, covered in fresh soot and smelling of ash, in front of an enraged Time and Twilight. Sky, the mediator he was, was trying to calm the enraged adults while also keeping an eye on the pair keeping the fire at bay. The air reeked of burning wood, the smell so much more intense than an average campfire. Though that does make sense, given how much of the forest was still ablaze.

“Do you four have anything to say for yourselves?” Time asked, the harshest glare any of them have ever seen on his face.

Immediately three voices said, “It was Legends' idea!”

Time honed in on Legend, who was wearing a smug grin on his face. “Do you have anything to say for yourself, Hero of Legends?”

“Oh shit, he said the full name,” Wild murmured.

“Maybe we should just say sorry?” Hyrule asked Wild, who shook his head rapidly.

"Nope," Legend replied flatly, smugly refusing to say anything.

“You’ll be missed, Legend,” Four snickered with a sarcastic salute. Legend looked at Time and shrugged, setting his hands behind him and leaning against them. 

"'Nope'?! Legend, explain why half of the Deep Woods is burnt to a crisp! Why is Wild naked!? And Four, I thought you were supposed to be responsible!" Time's face was pinched in frustration as he scolded them all.

As Time was yelling, Legend leaned over to say something to the small group. "Ten rupees says I can get him to let us go," he whispered under the scolding they were given.

"Twenty says you can't," Four whispered back. The other two Links watched the conversation happen, both wondering who they should put their bets on. 

“Actually Time, I do have a reason,” Legend interrupted. “You remember a week or so ago when me and Wild got in that fight? Yeah, I wanted to make up for it.” Legend casually shrugged as if it didn’t admit to ruining an ancient forest for fun.

Times face softened slightly before hardening back into a glare. Everyone remembered that fight, it was one of the worst spats their team has experienced. “That doesn’t explain how you managed to rope Sky and Four into helping you!”

“Legend forced me to help him,” Four snitched instantly with a sidelong smirk at Legend.

Twilight let out an exhausted sigh, dragging a hand down his face as if that would get rid of the stress of the situation. “Awright, one of y’all best explain how this happened.”

“He promised the forest would be healthier.” Sky answered solemnly. Legend really had to applaud him, he was a flawless liar.

[a-student-out-of-time]

Meh i pretty sure that David is not 100%. The hints from ARG video shows that actually cared about Xander and most likely was hurt of his dead. I'm not saying that he completely innocent and what he done was right... But I'm pretty sure that there more that just "David is evil lol"

//Sure, maybe he *did* care. He cared in the sense that Xander's existence was something that could benefit him and make himself feel good, but that doesn't equate to him caring about Xander more than he cares about himself.

//This is the thing that honestly really bothers me about people who say David really does care, just because he's obviously broken up about Xander's death, and extrapolate from that that he's somehow really a good person deep down. No.

//Manipulators are incapable of selfless love. Sure, they might care in some capacity, but that care only goes as far as the conditionality will allow them. True compassion is being able to put someone else's needs above your own, which people like David are incapable of doing. They either love themselves or hate themselves more than they care about others.

//And that means you cannot fix them. The idea that they'll change their ways or improve as people if you just love them hard enough is exactly how they become a toxic parasitic influence in your life. They thrive off that mentality, because they know it's an easy way to keep you in their lives. It's textbook toxic behavior.

//Being a manipulator is not some silly quirky personality trait. It's a set of self-serving coping mechanisms designed to maximize someone's happiness or minimize their misery at best, or it's a sign they are fundamentally incapable of caring about other living beings at worst. As in they literally cannot comprehend how their actions could be seen as harmful or even bad.

//If you doubt that, I ask that you look up Social Cycle Theory or read about traits that narcissists and manipulators have. David checks so many boxes, it's honestly impressive. It's also terrifying considering how popular he was before he ended up in this game, and those rumors were circulating that he's not what he claims to be.

//None of this is me suggesting that David is a one-dimensional villain. I'm certain there's a lot of depth to his character and why he acts the way that he does, and we're bound to learn about all that. This is me taking exception to the idea that having depth somehow makes him a good person actually.

//And if it sounds like I'm biased? Well, that's what happens when you're close friends with people who've had to deal with this exact sort of situation, one from a parent and one from a partner, and who're still dealing with lasting trauma. Seeing the effects firsthand really makes it hard to sympathize with him.

//Remember, there's a fine line between just vaguely caring about someone and actually giving a shit about them.

//Also, no, David did not get Arei to change. He said some generic platitudes to make her feel better. She chose to change on her own when she saved Eden from Arturo.

[starstruckpurpledragon]

so having this hole in my ceiling due to the attic pipe (starting to suspect it's evil now that it's caused it's second water disaster) has reminded me of that one time in college when the apartment above mine had it's water heater go out

background is that at the time my college did not have dorms - there were apartments on campus and living on campus was encouraged but not mandatory for anyone (this has since changed as there are now many dorms and you can only live off campus if you're not a freshman or have a waiver) - so these were the campus apartments with the tiny roaches (that thrived like no other) which i've never seen before nor since (but the roaches are irrelevant to the story, they were just obnoxious little jerks with tenacity like no other)

Anyway, the apartments kept the water heaters hidden away where we mere mortals (tenants) could not reach them. So one evening, my upstairs neighbor's water heater goes out and starts leaking water. Of course, upstairs neighbor is completely unaware of this because it's inaccessible to them. But I know something must be wrong because a wet patch had formed on the living room ceiling of my apartment. My roommate was out, so I'm stuck trying to deal with this on my own. First I went up to check on my neighbor because maybe they're already in contact with maintenance?

But they insist nothing is wrong and their apartment is fine. They don't really seem to think anything's actually wrong and rather than insist, I returned to the apartment. Where the wet patch is growing.

Also the popcorn stuff starts to peel off that wet area. Kinda gross.

I called the maintenance line and, since it's after hours, I get connected to a call center where they'd schedule stuff for maintenance to deal with in the morning, unless it was an emergency that needed dealing with right then. Obviously a growing wet patch on the ceiling and the popcorn peeling off is a sign of a water emergency that needs dealing with immediately, right?

well, try telling that to call center lady. I tell her what's going on and she clearly decides she's going to be useless and rude. I'm pretty sure she thought i was making this shit up because i was a college student and after repeating the fact that there was a leak in my ceiling for the third time I gave up and just hung up on her. Then I called again, crossing my fingers that i wouldn't get the same person

i did not, thankfully.

I described one time the growing wet spot and the peeling popcorn and the likelihood that there was a leak upstairs that my neighbor was blissfully unaware of and call center queen, kind person that she was, agreed this was an emergency situation and she'd get maintenance dispatched immediately - I thanked her effusively and told her about the first call and how relieved I was she was sending help now instead of trying to make me wait for morning like the first lady. She told me she was glad I'd tried calling again - water damage can get bad all too easily without being noticed and she'd hate for a college kid to have to deal with ruined furniture, electronics, or homework.

About thirty minutes later, the maintenance guy showed up, took one look at my ceiling, and went to let my upstairs neighbor know there was a leak in his apartment. Once the leak was... not fixed, exactly, since the water heater needed replacing, but it was mitigated until repairs could be made later - the maintenance guy came back and removed the peeling popcorn hanging ominously off the ceiling. He also found out when I would be free from classes later that week so that I could be present when he came back to re-popcorn the ceiling.

by then my roommate had returned and she spent some time staring at the damp patch on the ceiling with a kind of O_O expression because, yeah, that could have gone a lot worse if I hadn't been home

[sniperct]

Poor Stormblood. Gameplay-wise it's near the peak of static-based raiding. Role interdependence was at its highest, fight pacing was at its tightest (even if it began the trend of 'fight loops'), there was never a better time to be a tank IMO.

It's an honest shame that when speaking to newer players that entire experience is gone, otherwise I feel like Stormblood would be a clear winner in your poll. People going through that expansion are often told that it's a narrative flat point between HW and ShB -- a fair and popular statement mind you, but it's the gameplay that made it what it was.

More accessible than HW, more involved than ShB, it's almost an entirely different game to play compared to what we have now in EW. Too bad that anyone who started in the last three years - soon to be four - will never know what it was like. That game is gone, and in its place is something wildly more popular.

It stings a bit more because the promise of Stormblood's story is sort of lost in the transition between expansions. The triumphant defeat of the Empire gives way to the quagmire of the First. The continued liberation efforts fall to the Bozja questline. We meet Gabranth, realize that the internal conflict of the Empire will soon tear it apart and partition it as imperial Legatii carve their own hold-outs.

Too bad by the time we get there, Garlemald has fallen apart off-screen. I feel like if we had seen the results of the empire's fall through the border provinces, seen what Gabranth was doing to make Rabanastre a Bulwark, Stormblood would feel like a much more relevant expansion.

Here stand the Ala Mhigans, those who rose up and threw off the yoke and stand proud. Here stand the So-and-so, battered people under the sympathetic aegis of a deserter legion.

We got small parts of it in the Garlean section of EW, but as one of those people who wishes EW was two expansions, I wish there was more to it. We move so swiftly to the cosmic conflict that the people are the tale of a single zone, when the demise of Garlemald is sort of an earth-shaking event all on its own.

I can only really look at it via story and general leveling experience, though I really enjoyed the omega raid when we did it. But if I were to rank FF14 out of ten, ARR would be 7, SB 8, HW 9, EW 10 and ShB 10.5. So generally very good all around.

I can agree though that they did let the imperial part of the storyline fall by the wayside. I expected more.

I actually enjoyed the SB story, but I think it's primary problem (besides splitting the story the way it was when it probably would have been better served as 2 expansions) was a bad balance between the overarching story and the closer, more personal moments. The Epic Scope vs

Also Zenos just didn't come across the way they wanted, I think. He's such a flat, boring character that even his constant threat didn't really make me feel all that threatened? ho hum, there's zenos again.

I honestly think they didn't know what to do with the imperials when they did ARR and when it was time to come back to it they were still flailing a bit as to how to handle it.

I am loving though with 6.3 we're getting to see the AFTER.

How do you, as a people, try to survive, to find means to thrive again, after all that you knew collapsed? How do you recover from the indoctrination? Wrestle with the crimes of your nation and overcome your pride?

I'm liking that part. I'm liking getting to see and help with what happens to the Evil Empire after it collapses. They're people, lied to for decades, hatreds and prejudices stoked for all that time. It's messy, we can see that in some of the dialogue and reactions.

Love ala mhigo though. When my character was leveling I had her hail from there, After I made her a viera (no later than post SB doing Omega per screenshots I have, trying to find the older ones I KNOW I have somewhere), I still kept ala mhigo and her backstory the same, the only difference being she wasn't born there; merely settled there after leaving the green, fought in the civil war and then fled during the imperial invasion. but ala mhigo is as much a part of her heart as the Green was, or as Ishgard became.

[allxthingsxglxtter]

Look who just woke up- is that DICHEN LACHMAN? No, I must have been mistaken, that’s VAELLA from NARNIA (OC). I heard she is IMMORTAL and stuck here just like everyone else. Even in the 20’s, they still give off a DARK MAGIC AT HER FINGERTIPS, ASHES OF HER DESTROYED WORLD, THRIVES IN CHAOS, SEEING ENDLESS WORLDS, USED TO BEING ALONE impression. In Sydney, they work as a BAR OWNER. They’re known to be quite CLEVER AND FEARLESS but have a tendency to be UNPREDICTABLE AND RUTHLESS on their bad days. 

Gender/Pronouns :

She/Her

How long have they been in Sydney : 

She's been here since it started, so about 6 years.

Which suburb do they live in? 

She lives in King's Cross, near The Phantom

Personality description (in your own words) : 

Vaella is charming and friendly, but there's always an edge to her, a sign of how dangerous she is if she wanted to be. She's immortal and has seen so much she's easily bored now, but is much happier here in Sydney thriving on the chaos. Vaella's not evil per-say, she does look after her gang members and will do what she can to protect the people she cares about, but also can be ruthless, and tends to enjoy seeing the city in chaos.

Memories of their real life : 

Vaella is from the city of Charn, which was on a now dead world.  Every one of the inhabitants were filled with magic, and as Vaella was growing up she loved every part of it, wanting to learn everything she could get her hands on about everything.  Because of her aptitude she came into contact with the royal family, and namely Jadis, one of the greatest sorceresses of their world. She was trained by the woman who would go on to become Narnia’s White Witch, and taught every dark spell in her repertoire.  Vaella was taught a great deal of dark and horrible magic no one was meant to know, and when she decided her training was complete, and Jadis was locked in a war for the throne of Charn with her sister, Vaella decided to leave her homeworld to the destruction she knew was coming.  

She spent her existence before Sydney traveling all over existence through different dimension doors, mastering new magics and learning about each place.  It was during her exploration of earth she encountered Susan, and she found what became of her former mentor.  She and Susan ended up striking up a friendship, bonded through the shared experience of living in different dimensions.

Here in Sydney she’s made a new life for herself, still using her magic occasionally but running a gang for those that are against or afraid of magic.  Magic proved to be the undoing of her home civilization, the magic-caster’s there using it for every frivolous thing they desired.  Vaella might have ridiculous amounts of power, but her cunning is what she relies on, knowing that she, more than her magic, is what should be feared in this world.   

She rules her gang with a strictness, but it’s undisputed that if you’re loyal Vaella will have your back as a part of Exitum.  However, if you prove to be an idiot, or make a mistake, you can trust that punishment will come and swiftly. She keeps it a secret that she's the leader, most only knowing that she is their leader's messenger, and carries out their interests.

What was their fake life like : 

Vaella doesn't have any fake memories, and tends to just make things up.

Location she works at:

She runs a factory in Balmain, but spends most of her time dealing with Exitum business and illegal side-activities.

Quote:

"Anything worth doing takes a little chaos."