#I WANNA LEARN HOW TO WEAVE SO BAD

[in-fair-verona-we-set-our-scene]

From the moment Gale said that the Crown of Karsus could allow someone to ascend as a god, I was like... does that mean it could also kill a god? Maybe? Maybe even three gods? 👉👈😳

And I really wish there was a dialogue option where I could at least put the idea out there.

[soleurs]

▎    BAD IDEA, RIGHT?

concept yeah.. maybe, not really ・ gender netural reader + word count 494 genre fluff .. established relationship warnings mentions of : cuddling .. suggestive thoughts .. kissing — cred. to byhees for the cute layout

napping with roronoa zoro is a bad idea. in fact, it’s the worst scenario to end up in.

with sturdy arms that have been bronzed by years of honing his undeniable talent, he’ll weave one around your waist. as for the other? well, that’s probably fallen asleep too after hours of resting beneath your head.

(like arm, like owner—you humorously suppose.)

initially, you’ll whittle down time by staring at your dozing swordsman. out of all the looks you’ve witnessed him sporting in the past and present, you’ll definitely be confident in claiming tranquility’s his best. but as much as you want to continue staring at the living art, streaks of marigold and azure are beginning to blend beyond the broad horizon.

and here is where the catch begins.

silly you will think that escaping his grasp will be easy. after all, he sleeps like a log being carried by the ocean’s little waves. all you need to do is squirm a little, perhaps sprinkle a few kisses upon his calloused palms to warm him up a little. oh look at that, zoro’s eased his hold.

now that you’re on your feet, it’s best you go—

“come back to bed.”

the rich, raspiness of his voice echoes in your ear, accompanied by his gentle tug that puts you back where you began: wrapped up in his embrace. what a shame, you had managed to walk a few more centimeters away this time. (your previous record stood so weakly at eleven centimeters.)

“clover, we need to get up..” you try to convince him, but how can you do that when he’s tracing kisses across the crook of your neck? “..then they’re gonna make assumptions, and that’s a whole other mess i can’t handle on an empty stomach.”

this is where your suspicion arises.

there’s no more warm breath fanning across the spanse of your skin, or even a non-committal hum that merely ripples from the top of his chest. in fact, you can’t even hear the little snores he tends to make in between the steady thrums of his heartbeat.

you just never seem to learn, which is why it’s so easy for zoro to move you until you’re facing each other. (an impressive feat that’s taken at least five times to perfect; you fondly call it the hammroll. and while he calls it silly, he secretly likes the name of this special move. makes it feel like it belongs to only you and him.) the warmth you were looking for earlier? it’s right there, skimming your face as he leans in to kiss you. 

but he won’t be satisfied with just one. no, before he dives in for another, he’ll make sure you hear him whisper, “let them guess. i’ll still have you with me afterwards.”

it's not such a bad idea, right?

daylight I'M ALIVE !!!!! is what i wanna say but my mental health's been going loop-de-loop so cue the awkward laughter- to the anon who requested this, thank you for taking a chance on me ♡ 

[livelaughloveloak]

🐳 ᩡ WANNA C U GIRL

aonung x navi! reader oneshot

summary :: Aonung misses you dearly to the point where he starts getting into more trouble. Will you come back and be his saving grace?

author's note :: honestly this is my first Aonung fic so I'm sorry if it's bad. 2.2k Words. Use of she/her pronouns

"Of course the aliens had to ruin it." Aonung snarled with a fish spear in his dominant hand. Aonung was known to be quite rude at times but today he was even more rude, especially to the young sully boys.

"Aonung stop, they are just learning!" Tsireya shoved her brother softly, only hard enough that he stumbled back in the water. All of them were on the shore with fishing gear. Aonung and Tsireya were tasked to help the newcomers with hunting in the Metkayina ways, much to Aonung's dismay.

Of course only being new to this type of fishing they did not do well. Them missing mostly every shot would normally make Aonung burst into a comedic laughter but not this time. Instead it turned into boiling anger. By the time Lo'ak missed his 7th fish in a row Aonung had enough of fishing and told everyone to just go back to shore.

He rolled his eyes at his sister's kind behavior towards them. Tsireya saw this and snickered before turning to the sully boys. "Do not mind him, he's just grumpy because y/n isn't around" Lo'ak and Neteyam looked at eachother, they have heard about this certain Navi before, mostly from Aonung.

They knew very little but just assumed she was a special person to him. And they were right.

Aonung scoffed in annoyance and walked away from the group, towards his own little marui. Of course he missed you, considering he didn't deny it.

You left to go help another clan in their time of need almost a week ago. You were a good warrior and an even better healer so you were chosen by Tonowari to go and help the neighboring tribe that had gotten attacked by the sky people.

"Aonung I'll be fine." You said as he was behind you, attaching your necklace that happened to be a gift from him. "I'm still not sure. I mean what if the sky people come back and ambush you guys"

You rolled your eyes, you knew he was just concerned but you were still a strong warrior nonetheless. "I promise you I'll return perfectly fine."

You reassured him but only got a hum in return. You were waiting for Aonung to say something but instead you felt his breath on your neck causing the hairs to stand up. Aonung stayed like this for a while before wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and resting his head in the crook of your neck.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Aonung laid down on his hammock, swaying side to side trying to keep his mind blank from the thought of you. You alone tend to fill up his thoughts and dreams, he didn't mind though.

With a groan Aonung shifted from position to position, trying to find a more comfortable way to lay down. Soon enough he settled on laying on his side, back facing the marui opening. He closed his eyes tired from the day filled with anger and yelling.

Aonung felt himself slowly drifting into the blank void called sleep.

Waves clashed against the sea shore as the daylight slowly started to fade into navy blue. You looked up from your half weaved armband, seeing the stars that filled the night sky. Suddenly you remembered Aonung.

“My mom would take me here to go stargazing as a kid, it was only me, Tsireya wasn't born yet.”

He told you this the day you two went to that special spot on top of a small island so you could watch as the stars slowly moved and twinkled. Oh how you missed Aonung.

As the days went by it slowly turned into weeks. You were in this tribe for 3 weeks, helping them get on their feet again. You healed the wounded and hunted in place for the warriors who got too injured.

You counted the days as they went by, each day was a day closer to going back home. The people here were kind but you missed talking or more likely gossiping to Tsireya, you missed playing with the Metkayina kids, but most importantly you missed Aonung.

With a sigh you finally got out of your marui to go collect herbs since you were running low on them. You said hello to a few people on the way and smiled at the kids who waved at you.

You picked your herbs in a small farm that the locals made. Luckily the sky people didn't ruin this part of the small island because without it the people wouldn't have ointment to treat their wounded or medicine for the people who fell ill.

You filled up your basket and gently placed it against your hip so you could walk back to the healing tent.

Your walk back got interrupted by a deep voice. "Y/n" You jumped, dropping some plants from the basket. You picked them up then turned around only to see the chief, Tonowari.

You quickly bowed your head and reached your arm up to your forehead to sign a formal.

‘I see you’

Tonowari smiled at the gesture before talking. "Today you and the others are going home, I have decided to end things early since the people here seem like they can fend for their own now." Tonowari waved his stick around motioning for you to look at the people.

"Go, pack your stuff, we leave once the sun sets." And with that Tonowari turned and walked away leaving you there with the basket filled with multiple healing herbs.

You looked down and smiled before running back to your marui that the Tsahik of this clan built for you as your temporary home. You were finally going to see Aonung again.

"I'm disappointed in you Aonung." Ronal circled around the young navi that had purple bruises forming on his face. Just like yesterday, Aonung had gotten into another fight with a Metkayina boy.

"Go before I pluck your eyes out!" Ronal hissed and pointed to the Marui exit.

Aonung quickly got up from his kneeling position and hurried out with his head hanging low and tail in-between his legs. He was embarrassed, he had made a fool out of himself, at first he felt pride after winning the fight but it all went downhill once a familiar voice shouted his name. His mother.

Other Navi stared silently at Aonung's sulking frame. Ronal's yells of frustration were loud enough for people to hear. His ears pinned back in shame, all his pride was washed away by now after he felt the eyes all over him.

He scrunched his nose and finally looked up. "What are you looking at?" Aonung said with venom in his voice, it wasn't specifically to a certain person but rather everyone who acknowledged his presence. All of the other Navi quickly looked away and went to the previous task they were doing before the whole thing occurred.

Aonung grumbled and kicked the sand underneath him before continuing to walk towards his Marui. He wished nothing but to sleep the pain away even.

The sun was slowly setting as Aonung finally arrived. He didn't go inside but instead sat on the edge, dangling his feet in the lukewarm water. The water in the reef was a beautiful clear blue.

It was so clear that you can see the fish and ilu swimming around the different coral, sometimes going into the seaweed. If you were lucky you'd see a baby ilu with its mother.

Aonung stayed like this, staring into the water with his hands resting on his lap. He was never a quiet person but today he needed it more than ever.

His peace was disturbed by a loud horn made by a shell. The shell was used to warn the clan of someone's arrival. He peered out, squinting so he could get a better look at whoever was about to step onto the shore.

‘Are they back?’

He got excited for a second thinking that you were finally back from your mission.

His eyes scanned the area very carefully, he even double checked just to make sure he didn't miss you by accident. He was left with disappointment. You were nowhere in the crowd.

‘Oh right they don't come back until next week.’

The moment you stepped off of your ilu you begin to search around the crowd of cheering and welcoming Navi for a specific person. You were left confused when you found nothing, it was like everyone was there except him.

“You better be here waiting with a basket filled with delicious food once I come back” You teased Aonung, poking his chest as you were getting ready to start your journey to the other island.

“Ugh you wish” Aonung softly pushed you causing a laugh to come out of your mouth.

"Y/n!"

You turned around to find Tsireya walking towards you with open arms. You two hugged before pulling back once you saw unfamiliar faces behind her. Tsireya glanced over her shoulder and gasped, making you even more confused.

"Oh right!" Tsireya took a hold of your hand and guided you towards them.

"Y/n this is Lo'ak and Neteyam, their family has come here seeking uturu."

‘uturu?’ You thought. You heard about other clan members coming to a whole new one to seek peace and to live with them but you never actually witnessed it until now. You watched as they signed

‘i see you’

towards you. You replied with a smile, doing the gesture back.

"We have heard lots about you." The taller one said which you believe was Neteyam. You raised your eyebrows at his words and turned towards Tsireya seeking for an answer which she thankfully gave. "They mean Aonung, you know he can't keep his big mouth shut." Tsireya nudged your shoulder in a teasing way as you giggled thinking about it.

"Speaking about Aonung, where is he?”

Tsireya went silent, her mouth forming a straight line. She slowly pointed to the direction of his Marui. "Beware y/n he isn't in the best mood right now."

You nodded and quickly headed in the direction she was pointing at. Your tail was swaying anxiously. Was he perhaps mad at you?

By the time you reached his tent you froze, debating if you should enter or not. You didn't wanna face him if he was mad at you, you were scared. You wouldn't know what to say. You were so lost in thought that you didn't even see the taller figure walking towards you.

"Y/n?"

You snapped out of your trance and saw Aonung leaning against one of the support poles that keeps his Marui standing. He had cuts and bruises all over his face and body.

His knuckles were red and wounded, it seemed like he got into a fight. You covered your mouth with your hand as you stepped closer to him. "Oh Aonung" You whispered while inspecting his body closer

Once you were done looking you grabbed his hand and led him inside. You made him sit down in the far corner of the room that had medical supplies stacked up against the wall.

"When I said I promised to stay safe I meant you should too." You grabbed ointment from one of the pouches and then sat down on his lap facing him.

Aonung stayed silent watching you apply it on his knuckles until he finally spoke up. "I know."

You were the one who was silent now, you kept your questions to yourself deciding that you'd ask them another time and that you should just focus on treating his wounds.

You wrapped his hand with bandages and moved on to applying a herb that specializes in reducing swelling on his busted lip and bruised up eye. You felt his eyes staring at you, watching your every move. You tried your best to ignore it so you wouldn't get flustered and mess up on properly dressing his wounds.

Aonung kept his eyes locked onto yours as you gently tapped his lips to apply the ointment. "Please Aonung, be careful next time." You begged him. Of course you never liked it when he got into fights but at this point Aonung isn't really Aonung unless he comes to you seeking for your medical health every one in awhile.

"I was fighting for you."

"What?"

"I fought them because they were talking bad about you." Aonung watched carefully, seeing how you stopped your movements and dropped your arms to your side. He took this as his cue to continue. "They were saying how you were weird and didn't belong amongst the other girls. I couldn't just stand there and hear all of this without doing anything about it."

Of course you were upset finding out that people who you probably never even talked to had your name in their mouths, but you felt some sort of comfort knowing that Aonung stepped in for the sake of you. "My love it is okay their words won't affect me." You brushed away one of his loose locks that must've fallen from his braids.

"No it is not-"

You shushed him with a kiss on the lips that he was quick to return. "It's fine, I promise." Aonung stayed silent, continuing to stare in your eyes lovingly.

His eyebrows raised when you got up from his lap, holding his hand signaling for you to follow him. He obeyed and got up to which you started to drag him out of the Marui.

"Where are we going?"

You sarcastically gasped to tease him. "Don't you trust me?"

Aonung rolled his eyes before rushing to walk by your side so you wouldn't be dragging him behind you. You smiled and looked at him. "Come I have made something for you my love."

[istoleyoursk1n]

I'm obsessed with Spider-Man so bare with me here.

Imagine the reader being a human who experiments with potions and genetics, sort of like a magic user scientist. And one day they had an accident that fused them with Spider DNA, so they have the web crawling stickiness, the advanced healing and strength, and biological web shooters like Raimi Spidey, all the Spider-Man abilities. They can't replicate the experiment, so they can't find a cure and are sort of stuck all spidery.

Whether or not the companions knew the reader, and which companions you wanna write for, before the experiment I guess is up to you? Whichever would be easier is whatever I'm okay with!

This sounds dumb- 😭 but it's perfectly alr if you don't want to do this!

- 💞 anon

•❅───────────✧❅��❅✧───────────❅•

How would they react to a Tav with spider-like abilities?

(Hello again 💞 anon <3)

.

.

: ̗̀➛ ASTARION

“Didn’t think our lovely little entourage would have an itsy bitsy spider crawling about. I’d rather not find myself webbed if we’re truly keeping you.”

He would have mixed feelings about your little situation at first. On one hand, he finds it fascinating that you possess such abilities but the other part of him finds it disgusting.

Even so, he ends up liking your spiderness anyway, there's amusement he can find in this form of yours that’ll allow him to disregard his disgust for now.

Was probably startled when he first saw you crawling across walls and ceilings. (He screamed and scolded you to cover up the fact that he nearly had a heart attack.)

He may or may not be slightly envious of the fact that you can so easily string your way across surface-to-surface without so much as breaking a sweat.

Though he would be lying if he didn't find it all the more impressive to witness. It's not every day he comes across a web shooting, ceiling crawling, possibly venomous aquantince.

Speaking of venomous, are you? If so, he'd rather never feel the sting of your bite. He’d prefer being the only one who gets the biting privileges.

Nevertheless, he’s grown to adore his spidery friend, especially when he watches you weave little cobwebs into various shapes and pictures. It's his favorite thing about your form.

: ̗̀➛ WYLL

“A… spider? Spider-human? Apologies, I’m not quite sure what you are but the pleasure is all mine. Perhaps having a rather insectoid companion of our own wouldn’t prove to be such a bad thing.”

He was definitely conflicted at first. He was somewhat of a monster slayer so did you count as one?

But then again, he was traveling with a vampire so perhaps his blade would remain sheathed and away from you for now. Besides, you prove no moral nor physical threat to him just yet.

He managed to put his own apprehensions aside in favor of learning all about you and the various abilities you possess.

He ended up getting all giddy upon seeing you demonstrate all your different abilities. It was amazing in his eyes, something he'd never quite seen before and it made him all the more compelled to befriend you properly.

You've probably been one of the few things that placed his initial beliefs about monster-like individuals aside. Not all of them are as bad as he thought now that he’s seen you.

And ever since his hellish transformation, it seems both of you have gotten yourself in some unfortunate transmutational accident. It's comforting to know that at least you understand what he's going through.

He loves fighting alongside you! Getting to see your powers put to use is an incredible sight. He feels honored to be doing so.

: ̗̀➛ GALE

“Glad to see I’m not too only one who may have dabbled in the wrong types of magic mishaps. Though, I’m sure being a tad bit more… spidery, than most has its own interesting perks.”

The most interested and confused of the bunch.

He’s off questioning how these spider-like abilities and if some sort of magic was involved in the process.

What potions did you mix together? Did you use a scroll? Perhaps you consumed something that caused the l transformation? Do you need it reversed? These are probably but a handful of questions he immediately voices out.

He truly does hope the entire transformation didn't hurt as much as suspected it would. That would be quite unfortunate wouldn't it?

Nevertheless, everything about your abilities is absolutely fascinating to him. Perhaps having a spidery companion could be quite intimidating but it does have its pros.

Both of you spin weaves in your own ways so there's that adorable little detail.

Though he has tried helping you reverse the effects of your situation, nothing he’s tried has done anything to get you back to normal. He was a little bit upset over the fact that he may have disappointed you but a little reassurance from you would put him back together.

Even so, he's already grown quite fond of your spidery self, and as long as you’re okay with it, he’d continue to adore it for days to come.

: ̗̀➛ KARLACH

“Fuck yeah! A goddman half spider?! Just when I thought this group couldn't be any less cooler. Say, how's it like being all spidery?”

Freaked the fuck out (lovingly) when she first saw your abilities. You’re the coolest thing she's seen in a while and she can't help but be utterly amazed by you.

You can climb walls too?! Heck, she’d kill to have an ability like that. She loves watching you scurry around walls and roofs like it's no big deal, she even tried to catch you at some point like a little game.

There are so many things about you she's currently fawning over that it's almost overwhelming. She’d be jumping about in delight the moment you use your web shooters to easily latch onto a nearby tree.

You two have probably gone around chasing one another for fun with the use of your own special powers, it's turned into some sort of playful little distraction when the journey gets too rough.

And to think your spidery strength nearly matches her own? You’re practically perfect in her eyes, a companion she's only dreamed of having.

She's spent lots of time wistfully staring as you weave tiny little webs for your own amusement, even making one in the shape of a star to impress your fiery friend. She loves it all the same.

: ̗̀➛ SHADOWHEART

“Well, I suppose I was never against having a spider join our strange little group. I’ll let you know if I ever need you to clamber onto a wall or two.”

As long as you use such spidery powers for the betterment of the group then she has zero qualms about you.

There's something rather amusing about watching you crawl across walls and whatnot, a strange ability she hasn't quite seen anyone but you possess.

Would remind you that there's zero shame in having powers such as yours, she’ll be the one to reassure you that you’re unique in your own interesting little way.

As long as the venom you have in your system is used against your foes, she isn't all too intimidated by your presence.

Generally only has neutral feelings about this strange form of yours, she’d even find some of your little spidery aspects adorable in her eyes.

There have been occasions when seeing you startle a friend or foe with your crawling abilities made her giggle but she has never once shamed you for it.

She could spend hours simply watching you weave tiny little webs, she encourages you to decorate the camp with them if the others don't mind the extra cobwebs of course.

: ̗̀➛ LAE’ZEL

“Chk, spider or not, just make sure your insectoid abilities are put to something more useful than weaving fragile little webs lest you find yourself being yet another pest.”

She didn't care much for your abilities, as long as they proved to be useful to her which fortunately they were.

Your little alchemical mistake seemed to prove to be advantageous in the long run as you were able to help her in a handful of battles.

Your web strings proved to be a resource for her (somehow she found a way to innovate such a thing) as she would often use them as a better bowstring.

Soon enough, her disregard for you turned into admiration, one that she didn't hesitate to tell you directly.

Though her admiration was a tad bit bold, it was something you were certainly flattered by. At least she isn't as unknowingly offensive as before.

If you were willing enough to lend your assistance, she would have used your venom as a coating for her blades by now. Using such a deadly substance to easily smite her foes.

Your increase in strength rivals her own, one that sparks a vibrant flame in her roughened heart. She favors the moments when she gets to witness you in the midst of combat.

Safe to say she enjoys your company and values your worth. Don't ever feel shame for possessing such a spidery form because it's certainly something she’s fond of.

: ̗̀➛ HALSIN

“A spider? Well isn't that quite the surprise? Of all the tiny spiders I've encountered, I’ve never quite seen one as undeniably remarkable as you.”

No matter the creature, he’d always come to value them, and that includes you!

You’ll never feel ashamed of yourself against with this man constantly praising you for what you are, spider-like abilities and all.

If you ever decide to use your powers to crawl atop him, he’d adore it. In fact, he’d laugh as you do so in the softest chuckle you've ever heard him let out. He’d allow you to stay there for as long as you please, he truly doesn't mind.

Seeing you so easily get from tree to tree is quite an impressive sight, silvanus knows he isn't quite as nimble or as graceful as you. This only gives him more of a reason to admire you more.

Was smitten the moment you showed him how you weave webs.

While he has seen little spiders do so, seeing you turn ordinary cobwebs into beautiful shapes melted his heart.

Show him a web you've made in the shape of a bear and you’d make his entire day. His only wish is for this little web of yours to forever be preserved for years to come. He simply can't get over how adorable it is.

In truth, you are a magnificent creature in his eyes, one he finds himself fawning over from afar. Words couldn't express how special you are to him.

•❅───────────✧❅✦❅✧───────────❅•

[cyberrose2001]

Kinktober: Day 1

Prompt: Handjob

TFP Wheeljack x GN Reader

Warnings: Handjob (duh), reader gets a facial, reader is human.

Word count: 811

You knew Wheeljack was the adventurous type of mech. One that genuinely does not give a fuck about anyone or anything, go big or go home kind of thing. Other than his suaveness and ability to make your knees buckle every time he looks at you, it’s one of the reasons why you fell for him. So when he told you to pack a day bag because we’re “hittin’ the road for the weekend”, you were bound to expect or encounter some sort of adventure. And you’ll be damned if you weren’t at least a little excited to be alone with your metallic crush deep in the forest, keeping you safe from bears and whatever rabid squirrels that want to steal your trail mix.

“Frag, yeah. Just like that.”

Although, having Wheeljack back up against a tree while your hands pump around his deliciously thick spike doesn’t sound too bad, either.

You don’t know how it happened, but you’ve somehow learned that the trope of two people in a forest getting hot and bothered over each other absolutely applies to Cybertronians.

You’re kneeling between his spread thighs, legs covered in dirt and grit. One hand at the base of his cock whilst you drag your fingertips across the tip, eliciting delightful groans from the mech above you. His servos are by his side, digging into the soil at your teasing touch.

“C’mon, sweetspark. You can be a bit rougher than that.”

“You seem more desperate than I am.”

“Well, you were the one who started gettin’ all touchy-feely first,” Wheeljack gives you a shit-eating grin, which you promptly wipe from his face with a rough tug on his spike, “I-I’m just -ahhg- along for the ride.”

“You won’t be getting any rides if you keep talking shit.” You half-joke back because, in actual fact, you’re really desperate to slide yourself on his spike afterwards.

“I better keep my mouth shut then.” Wheeljack breathes out as you finally start to work your hands over his spike.

Speaking of which, it’s thick, really thick. And as stiff as a dick could ever get. And despite Wheeljack's attempts to not seem as desperate as you are, it’s already weeping with precum.

Deciding that you’re also really desperate for a load to the face, you get serious and wrap both of your hands around his cock. Which you find is really hard to do when you’ve only got precum to work with. So, leaning forward, you hover your mouth over the tip and make a show of welling some saliva into your mouth, and then proceed to stick your tongue out and let it run down onto it. It dribbles over the tip, weaves into the crevasses of your knuckles and down onto the rest of his shaft. And Wheeljacks engine fucking revs.

“Wow, now that’s a sight.” Wheeljack purrs.

With enough spit to cure even the harshest droughts coating his spike, you continue pumping, watching Wheeljack's optics boar into yours as you twist your wrists up and down slowly. It’s also the perfect opportunity to soak in the sight before you. His helm has lulled back against the tree trunk, his intake open just slightly, the mounds of dirt from the craters he’s making with his servos, the small thrusts of his hips meeting the palms of your hands. It’s incredible how quickly a giant, smart-ass mech like him has succumbed to a tiny human jerking him off in the middle of the goddamn forest.

“O-Oh frag, yes,” Wheejack squeezes his optics shut and arches his back struts against the tree as your pace quickens, strangling your hands as they meet the tip, “Faster, please, Y/n I’m so close-“

“You wanna overload on my face so bad, hm?” You moan with him, sticking your tongue out to receive his load with the utmost enthusiasm. Your muscles are sore, and your knees hurt from digging into the ground for so long, but you won't stop until he’s putty in your hands.

“Yes yes yes! Slag it, Y/n!” Wheeljack’s engine roars, his thighs spread as far as they can as jets of trans fluid shoot out onto your face. Some drip down onto your chest and thighs, while some overflow over your knuckles and pool onto the junction between his abdomen and spike. It’s warm, glows slightly pink and is absolutely addicting against your tongue.

“Oh, wow.” Wheeljack whines as he glances down at your body, admiring the artwork he made of you, “You.. aahn... you look fraggin’ gorgeous.”

You give him a devilish smile, before squeezing the tip of his pulsing cock again, earning a rough growl from him, “Round two?”

Wheeljack huffs, ripping your hands away from his spike and dragging you onto his thighs. His length dangerously pressing against your clothed heat.

“Yeah, sweetspark. But how ‘bout I frag your brains out first, huh?”

[fullstcp]

"The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology" by Taylor Swift Sentence Starters

THE BLACK DOG

"I am someone who until recent events you shared your secrets with."

"I just don't understand how you don't miss me."

"Old habits die screaming."

"I move through the world with the heartbroken."

"My longings stay unspoken."

"I may never open up the way I did for you."

"I still can't believe it."

IMGONNAGETYOUBACK

"I can tell when somebody still wants me."

"I'm gonna get you back."

"I'll make you wanna think twice."

"You'll find that you were never not mine."

"I might just love you 'til the end."

"Push the reset button, we're becoming something new."

"Say you've got somebody, I'll say I got someone too."

"Told my friends I hate you, but I love you just the same."

"Pick your poison, babe, I'm poison either way."

THE ALBATROSS

"Cross your thoughtless hearts."

"One bad seed kills the garden."

"I'd visit in your dreams."

"They tried to warn you about me."

"Devils that you know raise worse hell than a stranger."

"She's/he's/they're the death you chose."

"You're in terrible danger."

"I tried to warn you about them."

CHLOE OR SAM OR SOPHIA OR MARCUS

"Your hologram stumbled into my apartment."

"And I just watched it happen."

"If you wanna break my cold, cold heart, just say, 'I loved you the way that you were'."

"You said some things I can't unabsorb."

"You turned me into an idea of sorts."

"I crashed into you, like so many wrecks do."

"Could it be enough to just float in your orbit?"

"Will I always wonder?"

HOW DID IT END?

"Our maladies were such we could not cure them."

"A touch that was my birthright became foreign."

"Come one, come all, it's happening again."

"We'll tell no one except all of our friends."

"How did it end?"

"We were blind to unforeseen circumstances."

"We learned the right steps to different dances."

"Didn't you hear? They called it off."

"Say it once again with feeling."

"I can't pretend like I understand."

SO HIGH SCHOOL

"I feel so high school when I look at you."

"I wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you."

"Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me."

"Are you gonna marry, kiss or kill me?"

"No one's ever had me, not like you."

"It's true, swear, scouts honor."

"You knew you wanted, and you got it."

I HATE IT HERE

"Quick, quick, tell me something awful."

"Tell me all your secrets."

"All you'll ever be is my eternal consolation prize."

"I don't believe in good luck."

"Seems like it was never even fun back then."

"If I'd been there, I'd hate it."

"I'm lonely, but I'm good."

"I'm bitter, but I swear I'm fine."

"This place made me feel worthless."

THANK YOU AIMEE

"All that time you were throwing punches, I was building something."

"I can't forgive the way you made me feel."

"Your words are still just ringing in my head."

"I built a legacy that you can't undo."

"There wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you."

"I don't think you've changed much."

I LOOK IN PEOPLE'S WINDOWS

"I had died the tiniest death."

"What if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time?"

"Does it feel alright to not know me?"

"I'm addicted to the 'if only'."

THE PROPHECY

"Thought I caught lightning in a bottle."

"Change the prophecy."

"I just want someone who enjoys my company."

"Even statutes crumble if they're made to wait."

"I'm so afraid I sealed my fate."

CASSANDRA

"Do you believe me now?"

"I was in my tower weaving nightmares."

"What doesn't kill you makes you aware."

"They knew the whole time that I was onto something."

"Bet they never spared a prayer for my soul."

"That's where I was when I lost it all."

PETER

"Is it something I did?"

"I thought it was just goodbye for now."

"You said you were gonna grow up."

"Are you still a mind reader?"

"Life was always easier on you than it was on me."

"We both did the best we could do."

"I didn't wanna hang around."

"I won't confess that I waited."

"Love's never lost when perspective is earned."

"The shelf life of those fantasies has expired."

"Please know that I tried to hold onto the days when you were mine."

THE BOLTER

"We must stop meeting like this."

"Hearts are hers/his/theirs for the breaking."

"There's escape in escaping."

ROBIN

"Long may you reign."

"You have no room in your dreams for regret."

"The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean."

THE MANUSCRIPT

"I'm not a donor, but I'd give you my heart if you needed it."

"Looking backwards might be the only way to move forward."

"The story isn't mine anymore."

[quiet-hypnotist]

Cozy Date

“You are almost too good at this. It’s not fair!”

“What? Shoulder rubs?”

“Dork. That too, but I meant the rest!”

“Ohhh, that part, huh? I thought you liked it though?”

“I do. That’s the issue! How am I meant to fight it if it feels so good?”

“Are you?”

“Huh? Of course I am.”

“I see, my bad. I must have gotten distracted then as I was massaging you.”

“Don’t you get sneaky with me. I’m wise to your tricks now.”

“Certainly. We’ve been at this for what? Two years?” “Three to the day yesterday and you know it, you told me about it yourself at lunch earlier, remember?”

“My point exactly. Of course you would be very familiar with all my tricks up to this point. Easily so focused on seeing them coming that you learned to recognize every look, every gesture, every drop in my voice. You would see it coming from a mile away.”

“Damn right I would. I know you better than you know yourself sometimes. Not to brag or anything, of course.” “Naturally. It’s what happens after several years. And honestly that makes me pretty happy. Because that means that we both know exactly how my words are only intended to draw you in when it is a safe time for that to happen. You figured that part out so early on, didn’t you?”

“Mhm. Oh, you’re on thin ice. But also way too good with your hands. Keep going, I wanna see the look on your face when I resist this.”

“Funny you would say that when there’s nothing happening that you would have to resist in the first place. After all, you were the one who confirmed for me just now that you would see my trick coming from a mile away. So even if I weaved entrancing words into this rambling, you’d know them by heart already and could recognize them easily. Right?”

“Right...”

“Which means it would be silly to drop my voice a bit lower or speak a bit softer...”

“Hey!”

“Because even if I did, you would only get lulled into that sleepy haze if you wanted to go there anyway. Right?”

“Of course!”

“So even if I used the most clever words right now, you wouldn’t get drawn into my pace at all because you’d be too busy enjoying the massage, wouldn’t you say so?”

“That’s obvious. Told you so!”

“Exactly, you did! So even if I did any funny tricks with my voice, you wouldn’t feel compelled to listen or smile about it, right?”

“Mhm!”

“And even if I slowed down the pace… and massaged you a little firmer… while letting you relax deeper… even then you would be free to not get hypnotized right now, right?”

“Duh! You got it.”

“Which means that even if I keep this up, you’re not getting tricked by me right now, right?”

“Yes!”

“So you can simply choose not to relax deeper and deeper under my fingertips right now, right?”

“Uhh, sure… Any moment now...”

“That’s right. Any moment now you can simply choose to stop listening, can’t you?” “Uh huh. Gonna show you...” “And it’s going to feel so good to show me how this time you’re not getting hypnotized right now, won’t it?” “The best...”

“Such an amazing feeling to know that you’re not falling deeper and deeper for my tricks and schemes right now, isn’t it?”

“So good...”

“You’re not getting hypnotized right now.” “Uh huh...” “You’re not growing limp and sleepy and warm under my hands right now.” “Mhm!” “You’re not mindlessly listening and enjoying this.” “Hehehe…!” “And whatever might happen, you’re not deeply mesmerized and loving every second of it right now.” “Hmmmm, loving it...” “Because if you were, you’d love the idea of falling a little deeper every time at your own pace whenever you really want to switch off your brain and enjoy yourself, wouldn’t you?” “Yes please!”

“In which case all I would need to do would be to invite you. And you would happily go along with it when that sounds like the sort of fun you want. Isn’t that right?” “Yes, yes, yes...”

“Awww, someone got a bit excited about that, hmm?” “”Uh huh! Hehehe…” “Looks like you bested me again. But I am sure next time I could put you under. Does that sound like something you want me to try?” “Yes please!” “Well, then I better wrap this massage up, so that when you’re up for it we can get up to all sorts of shenanigans. And hey, maybe you’ll actually win against me one of these days!” “Huh…? Oh, you! Just you wait. I’ll show you a hypnotized and tricked thrall! Tomorrow. Maybe. Though… I suppose I’d have an unfair advantage. I guess if you asked nicely, I could let you put me under once or twice first. Y’know… to let you practice and level the playing field.” “What a generous angel I asked out! Lucky me. Then don’t mind if I do.”

*** Did you like this story? Then there’s good news! You can consider heading over to my Patreon and pledge, which will keep me writing even more smut for you every week! Yes, for you! Since my patrons even get a chance to have me write their favorite things. So head over there and learn how!

[moseslikellamas]

♱𖣂 Redfork Menace ♱𖣂 pt.14

Benjicot Blackwood x Bracken!OC

Summary - The Trial begins with the Blackwood account.

Warnings - fem!reader, suspense, adult language, period typical misogyny, condescension, adult language, feelings of shame, feelings of guilt, manipulation, benjicot brainrot, Kieran Burton fancast.

Word count - 2.5k

Shanda was up long before the sun rose. She’d hardly slept a wink. Her thoughts were racing too fast to allow her heart to ever settle into an even pace. Instead she had done what she did best as of late, pacing. Dinner was a tense awkward affair for everyone involved. Except maybe Elmo Tully who had a good laugh the entire time.

“He’s a sane one for sure.” Alysanne had said after the latest cackle sounded down the hall.

“The riverlands are cursed.” Shanda had replied. “Neither the old gods or the new hear our pleas.”

How much blood had they split in the face of this feud? Maybe the gods were right to turn away from them.

“It’s not as bad as all that.” She snorted. “Tis not a grievous sin to kiss a man.”

Shanda looked at her with a bored expression. The Blackwoods didn’t hold anything sacred that was clear enough. So Shanda understood the lady could not understand the duress she was under. The weight of her crimes against her house were suffocating her. What had she managed to do for her house since getting caught? Nothing besides turning them against her. She hadn’t even gained any useful information about the enemy. So her mind had spiraled all night punishing her before the shame of the trial could try to do the same.

Now she paced in front of her window waiting for dawn to break. Life was cruel but never crueler than for a young woman. Shanda was smart and capable but the shadow of children she’d never met were the face of her past, present and future. She lived in the prison of small minds. She might’ve been a great bowman or a decent swordsman if she hadn’t had to learn under the pressure of secrecy. She put her hands on the window, feeling the cold glass as she looked out. She remembered what it felt like to roam the borderlands alone before dawn, the smell of river water and Meadowsweet in the air.

A knock sounds and draws her attention towards the door. Sighing, she moved to open it.

“Wanna grab some air?” Alysanne smiled at her and Shanda was relieved to hear her.

“You read my mind.”

The both of them slip down the deserted halls, noting the odd stationed guard here and there. Alysanne walked with confidence as if she’d made this trek often, weaving them down halls and up stairs. Until at last they stepped outside, standing on top of a tower. The sun was just beginning to rise. There was a slight chill in the air and it wasn’t raining for once.

“How are you holding up?” Alysanne asked her after a while.

Shanda shrugged. How could she put all of her worries into one emotion? “As well as can be expected.”

She didn’t want to see Benjicot. If he had set fire to Stone Hedge, she couldn’t stand to look at him. Worse though was that she didn’t want to see him because she felt so betrayed. How could she explain to Martyn that the enemy setting fire to their home was making her heart hurt? Royce would never understand and her father might die on the spot.

“I really tried,” Alysanne sighed. “to get you out of this but Benji does everything big.” She shook her head, face pinched.

Shanda couldn’t help but to laugh at her grim expression despite her own fears. “Well, I made the mess, and it’s time for me to clean it up.”

***

Shanda made the executive decision not to attend breakfast. She parted from Alysanne and asked one of the guards to escort her when it was time for the trial. Then she waited. Her anxiety was raging out of control and it didn’t take long before she was pacing again. This time no knock sounded when her door opened.

“Why are you in here?”

“This is my room.” She turned to face the heir, arms crossed.

“You shouldn’t skip meals.” His voice was disapproving.

“Ugh! Who cares!” She exclaimed, putting her hands on her head.

He walked into the room, shutting the door behind him. He was looking at her curiously as he crossed the room.

“What did you and your brother talk about?” He stopped inches from her, forcing her to look up to him.

Her eyes darted away from his. “None of your business but if you’re desperate to know, worry not. You’ll hear soon enough I’m sure.” She took a step back, needing more space. Of course he would come and find her. She should’ve seen that coming.

He held his arm out. “Come on. I’m sure Lord Tully will not forgive us if we’re late.”

She looked at him for a long moment, memorizing his face before she took his arm. The walk to the great hall was a blur to her. Her hands were sweating and she was taking slow measured breaths, trying to keep her heart rate down. When the guards opened the doors, it occurred to her that Benjicot had managed to worm his way into being her escort into the court. Hundreds of eyes shifted towards them as they entered and she set her jaw. Why hadn’t that useless guard told her people were filing in? Did anyone in the riverlands possess an actually useful guard? They crossed the room together to take their spot with the other Blackwoods. Shanda only made eye contact with Martyn, who looked twice as stressed as she felt.

When they came to sit, she hissed at him “You knew we were late.”

“No idea what you mean, my lady.”

Elmo called them to attention before she could reply. She glared at Benjicot who was pointedly not looking at her.

“I’m sure you’re all ready to get on with this, I know I am. We’re all tired of the constant fighting and squabbling you two get into. What’s more, I am tired of the both of you dragging your fellow rivermen into the fight. I’ve had to mediate four conflicts in little more than a moons turn.”

Shanda was picking the skin on her fingers as he talked. She hadn’t had anything to do with those earlier conflicts but she would suffer for them anyway. They were all suffering for generations of fighting.

“We’ll start with the Blackwood complaint.”

Shanda exhaled at that, a bit relieved. If they went first, she had a chance to build her defense. Lord Samwell stood first and her heart dropped at that. Having the current lord of Raventree condemn her in front of the entire riverlands was not a good look. She wished suddenly she had tried at all to learn what Benjicot’s plan was.

“For weeks we’d had someone sneaking into our side of the borderlands.”

Shanda frowned as he began to speak. That was technically true, she supposed. Her trips had been spread out a bit, sparse as they were. It made her sound worse than she was though.

“Our guards were restless, they couldn’t find any proof of the interloper. Some of the started to spread ghost stories, of a menace haunting the RedFork.”

Now she did roll her eyes. That was just an outright lie, she’d made that name up to intimidate the heir. She had no doubt the guards were stupid enough to believe she was a ghost though.

“Then the so-called ghost tried to kill my heir.”

Mutters rang out in the hall, causing Elmo to call them back into order. Shanda would’ve begun to throttle Benjicot if it wouldn’t have proved their case true. Her hands were balled into fists and she gritted her teeth. She knew it was going to be difficult and slanderous but it was just laughable. She’d never gotten remotely close to threatening Benjicot’s life.

Samwell left the floor open for Benjicot. It took a great deal of effort for her to keep her face neutral as he approached the center of the room.

“I figured it was just some petty criminal at first. We’d been having so many skirmishes around that area, it wasn’t uncommon to have some peasant try and sneak past us. But over time I noticed the culprit never tried to pass the boundary beyond the river, they would just watch. When I figured out it was a spy, I set a trap.”

Shanda sat in shock listening to him. He’d known she was there the entire time. That’s how he was able to ambush her that night he almost caught her.

“Imagine my surprise when I figured out the spy haunting us was Amos Bracken's youngest daughter.”

More muttering went through the room but no one seemed too shocked at the news. They were always fighting so what made this any different?

“Listening to guard gossip and trying to take me out wasn’t enough for her in the end. Not long after that we found her deep in Blackwood territory trying to sneak into Raventree. A group of guards and I found her. Then we later found her brothers attempting to do the same. We’ve done no damage to the Brackens before or after the latest edict. We apprehended a criminal terrorizing our lands and kept the Brackens from committing slaughter over it.”

Shanda just stared at him, seeing a stranger. She’d never met this man standing before her.

“I’ve had to neglect my own duties to keep her from escaping, as nightly she would try her luck against sneaking around my guard.”

If he neglected his duties it was to drive her insane not to keep her from escaping! She hadn’t even really given it a good attempt beyond the night she saw Royce. And he had endorsed that attempt.

“She made it nearly out one night but I was on guard duty and caught her before she could cross the river.”

Lies just kept spewing from his mouth. He’d twisted every moment they’d spent together to make her look bad.

“Lucky I was too. As I caught her brother trying to sneak across to help her.”

Shanda tried to meet Royce’s eyes but he wouldn’t look at her. When Benjicot left the floor and Alysanne stood to take her place, she looked away from the floor. It was going to be a very long day for her.

***

By the time lunch rolled around, half of house Blackwood had testified against her. She’d tuned out after Alysanne. Half of the people she had never set eyes on in the time she spent at Raventree but it didn’t matter. It would be her word against tens and tens of people. When they called for lunch, Shanda had made a beeline towards Martyn. She hadn’t bothered to say anything, just grabbed him by the hand and pulled him out into the hall. Then she searched for the first empty room she could find, pulling them inside.

Shanda’s breathing was too fast and she countered it by taking big gasps of air and slowly exhaling before she began to speak to her brother in short bursts.

“They are smearing my name.” She ran her hands through her hair, trying not to freak out.

“What am I going to do Martyn? I haven’t met half of those people and I’m not the mastermind they’re making me out to be.”

She fanned her face, willing herself not to start crying. She couldn’t walk back in with a splotchy red face.

“I’m going to make my own petition.” He said confidently, putting his hand on her shoulder.

“I’m not going to let anyone lie on your name without at least trying to tell the truth. When I do, I’ll call you up. We can tell them together exactly how it happened. I know you’re worried but Lord Tully said he would hear it all. That includes us.”

As comforted by Martyns words as she was, it didn’t touch how afraid of that she was. If they were to truly hear it all, Alysanne told of their misconduct, it would be over for her. They wouldn’t listen to her account under the best conditions. But that wasn’t what she said to her brother.

“You’re a good person Martyn.”

“Come on. Let’s head back before someone starts looking for us.”

Together they walked back into the great hall where lunch was in full swing.

“I’ll see you at dinner.” Martyn mumbled before going to the Bracken side.

Shanda stood there contemplating leaving before she took a seat next to some unknown Blackwood. She wasn’t hungry even now and only picked at the food on her plate. She was mostly infuriated, sitting there seething while she watched Benjicot laugh with the men he was sitting with. She stood abruptly and walked over to him.

“Care for a word?” She elbowed him from behind.

He smiled at her, radiating confidence. “Of course, my lady.”

Shanda crossed the room to the hallway a second time but she did not pull the Blackwood away from the hall and into a room. She did, however, push him as hard as she could the moment the doors closed behind them.

“You’re a gods damned liar, Blackwood. How will you live with yourself lying in front of the entire riverlands and the gods?”

Benjicot grabbed her hands when she tried to push him again and glancing around he pulled her off to the side, out of sight of the guards. She pulled against his hands but helplessly followed him as he dragged her along. When they came to a stop he allowed her to rip her hands free. He stood too close to her for her liking.

“You did all of those things.” He stared down at her sincerely.

“Your life was never in danger for a second and we both know it.” The venom in her voice was scathing.

Smirking, he stepped closer to her. “Aw you poor baby. Finally figuring it out are you?” Her back hit the stone wall behind her when he took another step towards her. He placed both hands on either side of her against the wall. “It doesn’t matter what you did.” His breath was hot against her neck. “It matters what I say you did.”

She didn’t breathe. She was so tense, so angry.

“You’re a sad excuse of a man.” She bit back.

“And I’m going to be your sad excuse of a husband.” He laughed.

Shanda stood there chest heaving, utterly confused.

He judged the look on her face, hand coming up to graze her cheek. “Did you really think I was going to let my father cut your pretty head off? When I enjoy your sweet neck so much?” His tone was cooing and too sweet.

Shanda was completely disoriented by his words and continued closeness. “We are sworn enemies.” She said, swallowing thickly. It was a sad last ditch effort to push him away, to deny the situation in which she’d found herself.

Cradling her against the wall he replied, “Not anymore.”

[normal-internet-user]

As promised, pumpkin pie! (/p) Here's my two cents for our favorite kiddo reader. The heir of Apocalypse!Peepaw Leo. The edgelord (and rightfully so!) turned dork nugget and their kooky adventures because I say so >:3

– ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ Adopted Reader Fluff!!! My serve!! (probs a smidgen of angst bc this one specific scenario has been rotating in my head & i definitely meant to include it in the headcanons last night but, as previously mentioned, my eyes felt like they were gonna fall out 🥴) ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

p.s , I am also listening to the Goofy Movie soundtrack, specifically Stand Out + I 2 I which are my faves!!! Tevin Campbell did not have to go that hard. Highly recommend.

💌🧚‍♀️💗🌨🥡🍥

Even More Reader Post-Movie Headcanons!

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Okay so

I really wanna start out with the scenario that I am positively aching to show you bc I really wanna know what you think, ANDDD I think it weaves in so well with the repairing (or rather, building) of Reader and Leo’s relationship in this timeline!

But, we’ll get there. 😉

After the events of the movie, everything is still raw. Not only are we recovering from a literal war, but all the issues that come with coping with a timeline that we aren’t used to – a timeline we’ve only heard nostalgic regalings of from Papa, lullabies and tall tales and stories meant to keep up some sort of hope and light in the midst of the darkness they lived in day by day, as well as in the mystic projections of Uncle Michelangelo 

. . . but now?

Seeing it in all its prime and modern-day glory?

It’s so, so beautiful.

Reader can’t and would never deny that. 

It’s vibrant. It’s colorful. It’s free. It’s such a far cry from the blood-red skies and dilapidated wastelands they grew up with. The ruins were their "sunny skies and rolling fields" so to speak.

Now that they are here. In the flesh? 

It’s. A lot to handle. 

Reader is wrecked, for sure. 

Casey is too! He’s just better at handling– hiding? Coping.

He’s more open and excited and gentle and polite and cheerful and.

We learn a lot from him as time goes on.

#caseythenationaltreasure

I like to imagine that Casey is a really big help in Reader’s journey to peace; not only within and with themself, but with the people around them too.

Eventually, 

Sure, it’s still a bit awkward with everyone; you guys are kids from the future stuck in a different timeline - with the people who raised you and they're the same age as y'all! What more could you DO to them? (/lh)

Ah. But they’ve got their family. and it’s no joke that they’re a big help!!

Mikey is in his Prime as Doctor Feelings and scheduled regular sessions with Reader bc his EQ is very sharp, as we all know, and he notices just how bad Reader wants to come to terms with everything, and he wants to help. He does help. A lot.

Donnie is ever the 'tism with the emotional constipation (/aff) but he helps and provides in his own little special Donnie ways!

Even if he may not outright say it all the time, he cares and loves his family so so much and he'd do anything for them.

He sets Reader up with some fun and unique techno-cool gifts that help them with things they don't speak up about;

– – like upgrading their mask to have a panoramic-projection so they can put a whole visual to the audio recordings and playbacks stashed in the device memory (only if they want tho! he won't touch it otherwise :'3)

He pretends like he's not hanging on to Reader's every little word when they do engage in casual conversation [which becomes more and more frequent as time goes by!] under the guise of typing on his phone or smth,

and takes those tidbits to create something so heartwarmingly thoughtful and faceted that we may as well just take a big ole stamp that says "You're Not Fooling Anyone With That Bad Boy Persona" and bash it on that forehead of his. JSJSJ (lovingly ofc :*)

Speaking of panorama-projectors, I can see him making it to interchangeable sceneries!

I'm talking about galaxies and solar systems (feeds into Reader's crow tendencies *sniff sniff* soooo many shiny thingssss)

Deep-sea oceans like Ariel's cove-esque or Pandora's sea settings from Avatar

Or even peaceful golden hills and orchards, just them and the big blue sky, the sound of the breeze dancing and larks singing in their ears.

... whatever they want, Don makes it happen.

He definitely takes Mikey's artsy avenues and teams up with him so they can surprise the Future Kids together!

– – 🩵🩶 Casey and Reader fall asleep curled up together in a pillow fort with the projector playing, and it's the best sleep they've gotten since the sleepovers with their Papa.

made myself cry thinkin' that up *sobs*

And isn't Uncle / Big Bro Raphie such a sweetheart during it all? He's the rock of the family, but he's learning to let the family in a lot more. He's learning to not be so "overbearing", especially with his Protective Instincts flying off the handle since the battle. Sure he can be heavy-handed, but he just wants to keep his family safe. And he always has! He always will. He heals to a comfortable place with time, and while he'll always be everyone's rock, you all are there for him too.

Family is stronger together, and-

You all reassure him of that.

In quiet moments, rare moments when it's just him and Reader – they tell him just that. Their hand is comically small on his forearm, but their eyes are earnest; they stare up at him with a sparkle of admiration. They'd only heard stories regaled fondly by their surviving family members, often accompanied them when they visited his shell on the wall lit by candles.

– meeting their uncle, so young but endlessly strong, is a fickle kind of honor. But still an honor.

(and Raphie may or may not have cried whenever Reader gets him right in the feels hurk-)

Reader and Casey get spoiled rotten (i.e: given the basic necessities to which they did not have access to in their timeline sjjsshahahd) by their family nonetheless!!

UGhhghghh imagine it with me, Normie!

Bubble baths! Warm, cozy clothes! Books that weren't rotting, charred, or furled at the edges! Taking them to comic book stores! Convenience stores! The park! The WATERPARK! The mall!! Introducing them to music and headphones/earbuds to match! Conventions and cons! Amusement parks! Ice cream parlors! Casual strolls throughout New York and doing all these things!

Oh and don't get me started on the adventures they get into in The Hidden City!! :DDD

....

seriously, don't–

foreshadowing -thickens-

*ahem*

In all honesty, the whole clan becomes clingy with each other post-Invasion. That goes w/o saying.

Even Case and Reader, despite the initial tension, have little to no qualms with being pulled into Turtle Piles, nor all the casual affection that comes with healing and growing together!!

It's odd but sweet :')

—Casey and Reader eventually grow out of always seeing the guys as uncles/aunties/parental figures (save for Splints + Draxy + etc.), it becomes more sibling-like in a way!

But they'll always be just as close.

They were just that in their timeline.

But that timeline is lost.

And scary as it may be, they're building themselves a new life. A better life. It's what Papa would have wanted.

So. Why not do just that? :')

>> fam that gets traumatized together STAYS together (/gen)😤

Tragedy brings them closer in ways they didn't think it would.

the awkwardness between reader & leo melts into something more mellow, and we owe a big part of that to Casey!

He's their bridge. Seeing as he's closer to Leo at the given time, he hangs out with his sibbie and Leo at the same time so that they can hang together too. >:3c

Such a genius boy ueueu.

— and before they know it, Reader and Lee-Lee are actually bonding really well. It takes time, and there are withdrawals and setbacks along the way, but it is those obstacles that pave the way for something strong. Something true, honorable, pure, and real.

The reader knows — you know, glory do you know ... that this may not be your Papa.

But maybe...

Maybe that's okay.

You had him. You had Casey. You had your family, the ones once lost to fates beyond your control, and now here you were.

You had all won.

And if that in of itself wasn't something to celebrate with every breath you took,

—you would have given up on that war all that time ago.

Reader and Leo come to a mutual ground with one another.

Let's come to a place where they're more than civil with each other; Leo adores casual affection, and Reader does too— they just weren't willing to give way for such in the beginning.

But it's not unusual to see Leo and them curled up next to each other. Most of the time, Casey's with them too! But in the rare times he isn't, Reader and Leo are comfortable and just doing their own thing.

Like they'll be reading a book, or playing on a handheld device (game, Switch, phone, etc. they're amazed by present-day technology) and Lee's got a comic book,

or he's resting his head close to theirs while he guides them through what they may be doing on their fun little screen.

Leo finds a comfort in you, and you find a comfort in him— once you both let each other in.

All the time it took was worth it :')

I can see them being the most annoyingly caustic yet affectionate besties SNSNJJSJSJ biiig "only I get to make fun of them >:(" energy

or a complete opposite:

once we get past all the vitriol, they're so soft for each other hhhh-

Like Reader becomes fairly protective over him; handles him gently with small smiles and murmured words, helps him out and gives the best muscle massages or is quick to redress and assist when he's smarting from his wounds, knows him well enough to comfort him through panic attacks, indulges in his stupid jokes and puns bc he raised them, hello.

They bounce off each other for hours—

the rest of the guys have resorted to begging, multiple times jsjsj.

and Leo, by this time he knows how much Reader meant- means to him, but he doesn't try to take their Papa's place; he's not scared of them, he does learn to love them /p, and tries to translate that in the most respectful yet straightforward way possible,

and that helped their growing relationship a lot!

He rough-houses (gently) and spars with them, teases them just enough to see their flustered expression, annoys them affectionately — but is the first to come to their defense when someone else gets too cozy.

A lot like a best friend or a sibling.

... He also cuddles and slings his arm around their shoulders and gives the best bear hugs (when they want/need). He reads to them- either one of his comics or one of their acquired books- when they can't sleep or just needs something to hear other than the overbearing voices in their head. He always eats with them, introducing them to new foods he thinks they'd like and giving them the bigger portion (when they get used to stomaching it ofc). Holds their hand. Protects them from the small things and encourages them with the big things, because he knows they can handle it and they just need that little nudge. And to know that someone is right behind them the whole time.

All that good stuff.

(and Casey is so jazzed two of his favorite people are getting along so well aaaa!!)

—hey or maybe it's a healthy mix of both!! ♡₊˚ yeahhhhh.

big BIG ride-or-die energy. I like to imagine that (ㅠ﹏ㅠ)

At the end of the day, they'd die for each other all over again. It gets to THAT point.

Both figuratively and literally.

One milestone in their bond took place and in a way nobody really saw coming—

They were in the Hidden City, stopping by Señor Hueso's for some good grub,

but Leo's leg was pinching a bit more today, and Reader felt a migraine coming on; they wanted to get back home for Mikey's Miracle Migraine Tea, maybe a scalp massage if they pulled the puppy eyes the aforementioned taught them in the future (they don't need to. he'd do it at the drop of a hat. they just like to be eggstra 💅🏼),

so they're both kinda rushing this little outing. Reader's a touch grouchy and their notorious RBF makes a whole comeback, but Leo knows them well enough to know it's not directed at him. He feels for ya, and he sticks close as you both wait for your pickup order to come through.

Then, out of nowhere, some gigantuan yokai comes skulking over.

Reader notices immediately, having folded to lay their head on the cool countertop at the pickup counter; Leo was rubbing up and down their back in comforting circles, smiling down at them with warm, sympathetic eyes as he tries to distract them from their discomfort. He was too focused on them to notice.

and when they spot the glint in the yokai's eyes, they can practically smell the sinister intention as they stride over to them. They're looking for something they had no business to.

Reader tenses, hackles raised and fingers twitching where they gripped the forearms of their hoodie, and their eyes gleam as they peek out from under their hood.

Leo, who thinks they're about to be sick, frets and gently maneuvers them to sit on a nearby stool; he doesn't see the yokai until he's being clapped on the shoulder - the one that's sore, conveniently so - and nearly jumps out of his skin when he whirls on them.

This yokai - stocky, menacing, and a sadistic air about them, simply chuckles and cocks their head at the duo. They're wearing a server's uniform. Reader and Leo both realize it at once-- Reader with dread and Leo with (miscalculated) relief: they're an employee.

Anyways, Leo is put-off by this sudden intrusion of personal space and onslaught of bad vibes, but he's the Face Man and naturally a people person, so he greets them casually and asks if he can help them.

Alongside the incessant ringing in their ears that's their warning before disaster, alarm bells started going off in their head.

They can't really discern what Leo and this bum are saying at this point - everything was fuzzy and garbled like they were underwater; even from their vulnerability sprawled out over the countertop, Reader can tell from their body language that the convo is going in a very wrong direction,

especially when Leo is suddenly shoved back- too hard- and lands in a graceless heap on the floor behind them.

Your mind goes blank. A mindset that was wired into your being from birth – one you haven't had to enter for a while – burns your mind and chest and the alarm bells are deafening, even more so than the sudden uproar of commotion happening vaguely around you.

You're not focused on them. You become laser-focused on the yokai behind you, and between one breath and the next, you're out of your seat and tackling the yokai with a snarl, and you're beating the ever-loving spirits out of them.

You don't stop. You grab at fur and a muzzle, probably a tusk, but you don't care. You don't care, you don't care, you don't care–

– – you're relentless.

All that was in your head was blaring red letters: Protect. Family. Leo. Hurt. Still recovering. Threat. Protect.

Strike.

White-hot rage is pumping through your veins and powering your every strike.

You have them by the nape and slam the yokai's face into the ground muzzle/snout-first; you throw punch after elbow after backhand after punch, even as you feel bone and tendon cracking rather explicitly beneath your knuckles,

and when you're kicked off, rather weakly all things considered–

it doesn't deter you at all.

You use the airborne energy to bounce right back off the countertop (it would ache and bruise like heck later),

rip the stool that you were occupying just moments earlier, clean off its hinges,

and start wailing in on the no-good lowlife bully that thought it beneficial to try your brother.

–– it doesn't stop until the very seat of the stool cracks to shrapnel, the center rolling away like a hubcap, and you're gripping the bar in your hands, heaving like you just ran a marathon.

When the yokai unfolds their arms from shielding their head to peek at you, scrambling to stand, shaking and wide-eyed, your gaze is ferocious.

The skeleton of the once-seat in your hand gets thrown right at their face with a ridiculous strength, and if their muzzle/snout wasn't broken before, it was shattered now.

The yokai shrieks in pain and goes right back down as red iron seeps from their nose, mouth, through their fingers, writhing on the floor-

and you stomp forwards, plant your foot steady in the center of their chest, and press in close until you can see their pupils trembling; that's when you finally speak your first words of the evening:

"Don't you ever come near my brother again. If I see your sorry shank even breathe in his general direction? That stool? The end will find itself shoved right up your pathetic excuse of a voice box. You'd like that, yeah?"

Terrified head shakes and an even more terrified wheeze in response,

"You listen and you listen real good, geezer. I will find you, and a simple warning like this will be the least of your troubles. A warning in which I'm letting you off with, seeing as you're clearly mistaken in your endeavors. Even think of touching Leo, and you deal with this except a thousand times over. It won't be just me. Okay?"

your poorly concealed sadism makes a minor appearance in the sudden change of pitch in your voice and the smarmy grin that stretches your dry lips as you quirk your head and eyebrows in question; when the yokai does nothing but give an immediate jerky nod, you gently pat the side of their face, satisfied.

–which was a lull into a false sense of security, because you shifted your entire body weight and last bit of strength to shove their face back down as you stood up, ignoring their yowl of agony as you did so.

meanwhile everyone in the restaurant be like:🧍

when you came to, everything crashed into you at once: nausea rolled in violent waves in your stomach, the migraine came thrumming full-force, and your ribs creaked as you stumbled over to a shellshocked Leo.

You pulled him up on shaky legs, but much like every patron in the joint, his eyes were trained on the yokai you just obliterated, still writhing on the ground.

Eventually, Senor comes rushing out and, taking in the damage of the scene, demands an explanation. Reader is all-too glad to give it to him, eyes glazed over and voice a lot more calmer than the actual predator they previously were

But once they do, his eyes look over both of them and soften, especially when he takes in how Leo is visibly shaking and Readie looks like they're milliseconds away from passing out.

They get out of there, food in tow, Leo still extremely shell-shocked and Reader worse for wear at what just transpired.

Blue barely manages a portal home- but they do, and when they're safe in the familiarity of the Lair, they both metaphorically collapse.

The night ends with the perturbed fretting of the Clan, but it all boils down to one thing for sure.

Leo has Reader's hand in his, Reader is gripping with the same intensity, and they refuse to be separated for the next few days thereafter.

Anata wa hitori janai.

That is the Hamato way.

oh and that employee never showed up to the restaurant again :D sorry not sorry for using them as collateral for my bebes

more tidbits that came to mind when typing that storm up:

reader's a bad mofo . didn't ya know they were the scourge of the apocalypse? they were clandestinely feared by the kraang. leo kept them under wraps bc he knew how powerful they were. (/j) reader: they protecc, they attacc, but most of all, they gone need ice for they bacc SNRRRTTT

☁️🖇️🥛

HOOOWEEEEE, THAT'LL DO IT– ˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ I hope you do read all this, sugarcube!! I got kind of carried away, ahaha ^^;; I'm sowwwyyyy!~ But i AM excited to hear your thoughts, whenever that may be! <333

I'm mostly glad I finally got the well-awaited scenario in there!! Basically, Leo has a no-no moment with some lowkey bully and Reader completely overcompensates, even thought they're BOTH still tender from war, yet they go batty-bonkers over his oppression! >:( Don't touch their family!!! The scenario was inspired by a ficlet I read a while ago with Leo in the same situation, but Reader was in Donnie's place :''))) I'll have to find it for ya if you haven't read it yet-

aaa after this, i think i can chill without so much heaviness!! i need to indulge in some crack! some fluff! somethin' now that we've explored the reader and leo's dynamic!! they're the sillies ever and we need more!!

muwah! Hasta la vista, baeby! I'll be back!~ /p

Aaaa goodnight now XD! (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡ Love ya loads, toots!! Enjoy the nomz, haha!🍓❣🍰💌🧸

Ok. First of all, and most importantly, I FREAKIN LOVE THE GOOFY MOVIE IT'S LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVS EVER- AFTER TODAY IS MY FUCKING JAM-

ALSO ON THE OPEN ROAD??? HEHEH

Ahem.

Now that that's out of my system, let the headcanons begin...

READER'S HEALING PROCESS POST-MOVIE

....................................

Post-movie, after everything calms down, and everyone's just trying to heal,

You definitly open up a bit more.

You'll apologize to everyone for how you acted before,

For being so hostile towards them.

Casey will 100% nudge Leo and you into hanging out together.

It was hard to do since you avoided Leo like the plauge, and he kinda thought you hated him or something.

Casey manages to kill the awkwardness, and now you and Leo go EVERYWHERE together.

Besties for realzies.

Donnie will try to be subtle with his gifting,

Spoiler: he isn't.

Most of the time he'll just leave whatever it is on Reader's bed for them to find with a small note.

He's dissmissive when you thank him too,

"Don't worry about." "It's no big deal."

The projector is now your most prized possesion aside from your mask.

I feel like you always had trouble sleeping in the dark,

In the future it would have been hard to have any kind of nightlight.

Limited resources and all.

So Uncle Michelangelo would fill your and Casey's room with little glowing lights.

Think Gaurdians of The Galaxy when Groot saves everyone, the little balls of light?

So thats what you usually project into the room.

And obviously you and Casey will have the occasional stargazing night.

Meeting Raph for you was pretty much the equivilent of Casey fan-girling over Leonardo.

The stories Papa told you about him made Raph sound like some kind of super hero.

So when you met him, you had to physically try to keep your rbf on, and not freak out.

You think he's so freakin' cool-

Omg if you show even the slightest signs of discomfort or sadness Mikey is on that crap.

Here comes Dr. Feelings, tell him what's wrong.

No family of his is going to be sad for long.

He'll 100% do his best to make you and Casey feel more at home in your new timeline.

Sometimes you'll turn the tables and now you're Dr. Feelings.

He doesn't like it, but he knows mental health is important, so he deals and ya'll have therapy sessions with eachother.

You not so subtly try to spend lots of time with Splinter as well.

You didn't have very much time with your Grandpa before the end of the world took him as well,

But now he's here, and you can tell that he did not change one bit with time.

His younger counter-part is exactly the same as the one you knew in the future.

You do the same thing with Draxxum as well and omfg he is so weirded out.

Like, why does this teenager want to willingly spend time with me? Did Mikey put you up to this? WHAT IS GOING ON-

But nope.

You just missed your weird alchemist Gramps.

April takes you for walks around the city, kinda showing you and Casey what it looks like when it isn't in complete ruins.

She shows you all the cool things it has to offer, and you even come back to the Lair with some shiny things you find on the ground!

You lost your old collection when you left your old timeline, so now you have to start your hoard all over :(

It's ok though, people drop tons of shiny things down water ways and sewer drains.

You and Leo will wander around the tunnels and look for your shinies.

It's a bonding experience, and he teases you about it.

Great gallileo the back and forths between you are so horrible.

They last almost all day, and when ever one of you starts one evryone groans out loud.

The only two people who can get you two to drop it and leave eachother alone are Casey and Raph, but Casey rarely does anything to stop it-

Once you and Leo get close he is such a little terd-

Teasing, and picking and poking.

Big brother energy for realzies.

He'll wake you up by playing California Girls really loud in your ear, and then giggle about it all day, while you try not to strangle him.

If he ever overexerts himself, god help him escape the scolding-

EVERYONE is on his shell about it.

But ESPECIALLY you.

It's even worse when you get upset at him, because after everyome else is done scolding him, they'll move on.

But you? You are so petty about it.

You scold him for hours,

Then you'll just kinda... sit there, silently glaring off into space.

It makes him feel so bad for worrying Reader, that he doesn't overwork himself more than like- five times before guilt makes him just chill tf out and heal.

That scenario you wrote, where Reader absolutely rocks that yokai's shit for messing with Leo?

(Wonderfully written by the way, truely a masterpiece)

First of all total fuck around 'n find out energy.

Second of all, I'm in LOVE with the idea of Reader going absolutely feral on the battle field.

In the future, EVERY fight was life or death, and I think Reader may need to learn that here, in this timeline, not every fight requires you to freakin' wreck the opponent.

Raph kinda has that talk with them after Senor told him how they messed that employee up.

Not every fight requires your 100%.

Then he'll totally congradulate you for destroying that jerk that hurt Leo.

Reader gets a reward cookie.

....................................

Apologies this took so long to answer my dear (/p).

But here it is!! That scenario at Runof The Mill- *chefs kiss*

Beautiful. Amazingly written. I LIVE for feral reader.

[awlumii]

# — pairing: (barista)spidey!kazuha x gn!reader

# — characters: gender neutral reader, spider-man (kazuha), barista!kazuha (briefly), beidou, chongyun, barbara, shinobu (mentioned)

# — warnings: mentions of minor character death

# — summary: happy birthday, dear spider-man~ 🎶

# — tags: fluff, brief angst, hurt/comfort(-ish), yes there's kisses involved who do you think i am

# — notes: here it is! a birthday fic for my special boy on his special day 🥺 i took a couple hours out of yesterday to churn this one out, and i want to thank @the-travelling-witch @catcze @kazeyu and @kazu-sun for reading this ahead of time to both give me advice and boost my confidence! i love you guys vvv much and i couldn't have posted this without your help 💕 like always, reblogs and reactions are greatly appreciated, and i hope you enjoy!

wanna join the tag list?

✦ — 🕷 + 🍁 — ✦

Silence is a privilege. You learned this very early on. To be silent, to bask in the stillness of a room, is a privilege not often awarded to people like you. You’re an energizer; a people chaser. You seek chaos and the wreckage that comes with it all so you can find something to fix within it. People flee from crime scenes and accidents, but you invite them. Of course you have to be careful when taking pride in a fact like that -- it’s not like you want people to get hurt, but how else would you be able to pursue your passion?

From the time you were young, you sought to help others in their greatest times of need. You were the first to help an injured kid to their parents when they got hurt on the playground and the first to dial the paramedics during a freak accident; you were the first to drop some sneaky medical facts on your teachers in your high school biology courses and the first to volunteer to dissect something for your lab courses. “The Good Samaritan”, your peers called you. “Our school’s very own guardian angel.” So it came as a surprise to no one that you got a full ride scholarship to the best university in the city with acceptance into their competitive medical program. You dove headfirst into your studies immediately after your high school graduation in hopes of getting ahead of the program when orientation started.

It’s hard for you to say anything bad about the whole thing, really. But if you had to conjure up a single complaint, it’s that your field is so noisy. The beeping of the pagers, the crackle of overhead intercoms, the rushed medical jargon falling from fellow doctor’s lips like waterfalls, the groans and cries of agonized patients and distressed families. There’s no time for peace. You regret it at times -- being as wound up as you are 24/7 is bound to take a toll on your health one day -- but the pros outweigh the cons most of the time. Besides, you tell yourself, you’re not a resident just yet; you can have peace and quiet at home at the end of the day, right? Right.

As of late, however, you’ve been wrong. Peace and quiet is nothing but a dream to you now and it’s all thanks to the city’s “beloved” vigilante.

Standing at the taller end of five feet (he’ll never give you an exact number), Spider-Man has become the sole reason why you can only hope and pray to the powers that be for a night of pure silence. He doesn’t swing by every night (thank the stars), but he’s in your apartment, lying half-dead on your carpet on most days which is enough to make you want to start pulling out your hair. You’d think that a man with enough flesh wounds to kill a normal person twice over would be silent as he gets treated, but no, he somehow manages to weave bizarre topics out of thin air whenever he’s with you. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly smart, smarter than he likes to let on, and snarky, too. Sometimes, you want to take off the mask that he wears, ball it up, and shove it in his mouth.

..Oh, but who are you kidding? Annoying as he might be, you’ve got a thing for the man, even if you don’t know who he is. He’ll drop by during the daytime whenever he sees you alone and sometimes, he’ll even give you things that he picked up during his little patrols -- plushies from outside vendors, wildflowers from the park… Once, he gave you a freshly clipped rose from a florist that was doing handouts not too far from where you were seated. The truth is that you like him and sometimes, you wonder if he likes you, too. It’d be complicated thanks to your existing crush on the cute barista of the cafe that you frequent, but it’d be a nice change of pace.

(Ah, love. Yet another noisy thing that you’re not quite sure you want to actually let into your life.)

Speaking of a change of pace, tonight is a quiet one. You’re not quite sure if that’s a good thing yet. You’ve heard sirens in various spots around your apartment, but each one died down within twenty minutes. You took that as a sign that Spider-Man’s been swinging here and there, which means that he’s bound to drop by sometime soon. So, rather than let your guard down, you decided to stand on your balcony with a comfy sweater pulled over your head. The night air is crisp and cool, albeit a bit stuffy from all the cars zipping about. When you exhale, you can see your breath coming out in puffs of white smoke. It’s nice -- the chill keeps you alert.

You let your mind wander while you wait for your patient to arrive. Embarrassingly enough, the first thing your thoughts drift to is the barista that you saw this morning. Kazuha’s always so upbeat during the day, even more so when he sees you (a fact that does very little to quell the excited thrumming in your veins whenever you see his face). He looked a little more tired today than he does normally -- when asked if he was okay, he merely told you not to worry too much about him. You’d agreed so as to not overwhelm him, but that didn’t stop you from stealing glances the entire time you were there. He caught you at some point and gave you a wink -- just thinking about it sends your stomach aflutter. It would be terrible if something was wrong with him, you think. Would you be able to help him?

You don’t get to think about it much more as a figure sailing through the air catches your eye. Spider-Man is so easy to spot, even in the darkness above the streetlights. You tense, somewhat hoping he doesn’t spot you. If he doesn’t, you could maybe get around to fantasizing about Kazuha a little more. Unfortunately for you and your potential fantasies, he does; Spider-Man changes course right before your eyes and lands on your balcony railing. He doesn’t lose balance once, instead remaining in a steady crouching position with ease. He really is something to behold.

You stretch languidly, relishing in the way your bones pop. “Alright,” you say as you turn towards your balcony door, “where’s it hurt this time?”

To your surprise and immediate concern, Spider-Man doesn’t speak right away. He adjusts himself so that he’s sitting on your railing instead, with one leg pulled up to his chest and the other dangling towards the floor. “No injuries tonight, doc’.” He rests his cheek on his knee and turns his head to face you. “I just wanted to see you. Is that okay?”

If it were a few months prior, you would’ve said no. Now, the very thought of turning him away causes needles to press at your chest. You close your balcony door and head back over, resting your arms on the railing beside him. “Of course.”

Spider-Man must hear something in your voice that you don’t, because he shakes his head slightly. “You can say no, lovebug. I don’t want to bother you.”

“If you were bothering me, I would’ve told you to leave.” You frown at him. There’s negativity rolling off of him in waves. That’s not like him at all. “Are you okay?”

“I…” He reaches for the back of his neck before pausing. He lets his arm drop. Was he about to--? “I don’t know.”

You nudge him gently with your shoulder. Go on, you say silently. What’s up?

Spider-Man picks up on your invitation and sighs. “Do you… like your birthday, by any chance?”

“Me?” You tilt your head curiously. “I guess so. Why?”

“I guess I’m really not normal.” He turns his head, looking past you and into your apartment. “I don’t like mine at all.”

You connect the dots rather quickly. You’d feign excitement, but clearly, doing so would do nothing. If anything, it might make things awkward. “Is… today your birthday, Spider-Man?” When he nods, you make a small humming noise. “Would me saying ‘happy birthday’ cheer you up, or..?”

“If it’s you,” he says, his voice soft, “then yes, probably.” You don’t say it right away. You hesitate because of his tone, but he takes the opportunity to keep speaking. “I lost someone important to me a few years ago today.” He inhales sharply. “And a few more in the years prior. Today’s more of a day of mourning than anything else.”

Your heart shatters. You wonder if he knows how small he sounds. “I--”

“They say you shouldn’t spend your birthday alone,” he continues, “so I decided to stop by. You’re all I have left, lovebug.” You can hear the fake smile in his voice when he speaks again. “You’re going to have a hard time getting me off your back. Sorry.”

You don’t know what to say. The silence lingers and all that can be heard is the sound of cars rolling by on the street below. A car horn blares every so often at the light nearby, but you still remain quiet.

Is that why he always comes back? Because really and truly, he has no one else in his life? You can’t say the same for yourself -- you have Kazuha to keep your heart and mind occupied during your down time; you have Beidou, Hu Tao, and Chongyun to keep you busy at school; you have Barbara and Shinobu to keep you on your toes at work. You have friends, people to fall back on. But Spider-Man… doesn’t. And it’s not like you can just introduce him to your friends, either.

To think that you’ve been complaining about him when all he’s been doing is spending time with the only person who gives him the proper time of day.

The guilt that seizes you makes you hiss softly. What do you do now? You’ve had tender and serious moments with Spider-Man before, but this is too different. Do you apologize for being an asshole? What good would that even do? Do you make a gift for him on the spot? No; that might make him feel worse…

“I’m grateful for you.” Spider-Man’s voice cuts your thoughts short. “I really am. I’m sorry for dragging you into my mess. I hope you can forgive me.”

“If I… didn’t want to be involved,” you manage, “I would have told you to stay away a long time ago. Don’t apologize; I want to be by your side.”

Again, you hear a sharp intake of breath. “That’s--”

“Dangerous? Stupid? Yeah, I’m aware. But since I’ve never told you this out loud before, you’re my friend, Spider-Man.” You rest a hand on top of his without looking him in the eye. “Whether you knew that or not, we’re friends.” It feels weird to say, but you mean every word. Of course, friends don’t think about unmasking each other and kissing them every once in a while, but you’re not going to dwell on that. Your face starts to burn. “I wouldn’t want to be rid of you at all.” You say honestly.

Spider-Man moves his hand so that he’s holding yours. “...I appreciate it.” He says after a brief pause.

And once again, there is silence. It’s one that you can bask in, you find, especially when Spider-Man’s grip on your hand tightens. His presence is comforting, and only now do you realize that he thinks the same of you. The city marches on below your balcony, everyone encased in the same chilly autumn breeze that causes rigid goosebumps to rise on your skin. It’s nice, this silence. Is this the stillness that you’ve been missing out on because of Spider-Man? What are the odds that you’d finally be able to enjoy it with him?

You shudder and sneeze suddenly, shocking the both of you. Spider-Man jolts but eases into a laugh. “Are you cold?” He asks.

You sniff and tug the hood of your sweater up over your head. “No,” you grumble. “You’re cold. I’m just peachy.”

Spider-Man hops down and leads you inside, his fingers still intertwined with yours. “You’re a horrible liar,” he jokes. Once you’re inside, he stands in the threshold and laughs again. “You’re shaking.”

“Why couldn’t your birthday be during the summer or something?” You whine and make yourself small in your sweater. “It’s fucking cold outside.”

“What can I say, I like the fall more.”

“Whatever.” You ball your hands into fists inside your sweater pockets. “You’re not coming inside?”

Spider-Man shakes his head. “Something could still happen. I’m going to head back out.”

An idea comes to mind. It’s a stupid idea, a really, really, really stupid idea, but it's an idea nonetheless. You don't have much in the way of material goods to give him -- it'd be a cold day in hell before you coughed up one of your expensive medical supplies (as if he had any use for those with his speedy healing) -- and despite knowing him for as long as you have, he has yet to give any real hints as to what it is he likes. When you think about it, you realize that Spider-Man's been super careful as to not give you any kind of clues as to what kind of person he is without the mask. All of his likes and dislikes are a complete mystery to you, unfortunately.

Well, almost all of them. He's told you time and time again that he likes this one thing — one person.

“B-Before you do,” you stammer, “what’re your thoughts on birthday gifts?”

You can practically feel the confused look he gives you. “Why?”

Rather than let the embarrassment consume you, you let your body move on its own accord. You walk closer to him and place your hands on either side of his face. “Stay still.” You whisper. Without waiting for his question, you lean forward and place a kiss on his lips right over his mask. You can feel them just beneath the cloth and hear the noise of surprise that he makes, but you don’t let it stop you. You stay there for just a moment longer before pulling away. Your face heats up to an impossible degree and you keep your head turned away to avoid further humiliation. Spider-Man is completely quiet, likely with shock, and it makes you want to bury your head in a hole. He's told you before how much he likes you; even if he was joking, he's said it too many times for you to consider it as just a joke. A kiss should suffice as a gift, right? “Happy birthday," you mutter. “Now go--”

Before you finish speaking, a gloved hand comes over your eyes. You start to question what the hell he’s doing, but a pair of uncovered lips cover your own, silencing your protests. You melt into the kiss after a brief moment of shock and Spider-Man pulls you in closer with his free hand. Closer, closer, and closer still. He kisses you like you're something gentle, fragile, prone to break at any moment. And yet he tilts his head and nips at your bottom lip, kissing you deeply, like you mean something to him.

Friends don't kiss like this.

You can’t think. You can’t move. It’s just you and your masked vigilante and the sound of sirens outside.

The sound is what causes Spider-Man to pull away after a while. He doesn’t uncover your eyes right away and you hear fabric moving -- likely him fixing his mask. When he moves his hand, your vision feels hazy and your throat tight. You stand there in limbo, the two of you just staring at each other. You tug on the strings of your hoodie gently. “You should, um… you should get going.”

You wonder how he’s looking at you right now. Spider-Man clears his throat. “I… Yeah. You’re right.” He starts to reach for you, but he drops his hand and balls it into a fist by his side. “Will I… see you tomorrow?”

It’s a hesitant question -- a request, if not anything else. Am I allowed to see you tomorrow? You nod without hesitation. Who are you to refuse him? “Yeah.”

Spider-Man’s shoulders drop with relief. “Okay. Then…” He walks backwards onto your balcony and raises two fingers in his usual salute. “...Thank you for the birthday gift.” And with a push backwards, he tumbles off of your balcony and zips into the biting autumn night, leaving you in your living room.

You walk forward and close the door to your balcony. You turn your eyes to the clock on the wall. 12:00 AM, it reads. It’s October 30th. Your kiss was the last and only gift he'd received yesterday.

✦ happy happy happy birthday, kazuha.. i hope he enjoys his day with his new family 🥺💕💗

✦ i'll make an origins post about spidey!kazuha someday, hehe

[mysticstarlightduck]

Magic System, But Badly Tag! (1)

Thank you so much for the tag @cowboybrunch (here)!

Rules: Explain the magic system of your current WIP as poorly as possible. Bonus points if you use bullet points.

Let's talk about the magic system of Song of Thorns (:

Elemental

ATLA vibes but medieval

someone really should keep an eye on the Initiates - these angsty teenagers with a god complex should not be left unattended

Powers range from "Look, I can light a candle with the tip of my finger, isn't it neat?" to "I CAN CONTROL THE STORMS, FEAR ME" and it is complicated

Lesson No. 1 - Don't trust the nice instructors on the weird-looking trial maze or you will die = STREET SMARTS

who cares about reading all those ancient tomes, let's improvise in the middle of an untamed wilderness or ocean brimming with wild magic, now that's a good idea

Animus Codex

soul magic with a celestial's blessing

can weave fates, lives, and entire existences with a series of secret runes on a specific set of cards/tablets

a select group of people know what tf is going on with this magic but everyone is too afraid to really ask

rune casting requires ancient magic components that definitely are anything but safe

either the celestials loved this civilization way too much or hated it with a passion

Sanguinex Arts (human only)

Lazy human royals really wanted to be vampires but didn't want to transform themselves and made it everyone's problem

"Can I copy your homework?" "No, absolutely not -!" "Too late already did it."

A cheap knockoff of something beyond mortal comprehension created by an insane set of human sorcerers who could not give less of a fuck

"I think I understand how they do it" - they did not, in fact understand how it was done

Feast your eyes on the eldritch abominations and trauma inducing shite created by human stupidity at its finest

A distortion of all that is moral and decent, used by the royals to expand their lifespans and oppress those who do not have access to their power

A generally bad time

Traditional Hemomancy (Vampyr/Fey only)

an ancient Vampyr tradition, tied to their very existence (and which was cheaply copied by humans to create the Sanguinex)

"General rule of thumb - do not piss off a vampire who has something or someone to protect, unless you fancy seeing how your insides look on the outsides"

Create & Destroy, Life & Death - this magic can heal or kill and is connected to the balance of nature

Blood Magic mixed with Matter Manipulation

"Roses are red, violets are blue, if the moon turns crimson you'll die soon" - a lesson some characters in this book should've learned before venturing further into this land

generally chill and laid back sorcerers who really don't want to have to use their powers to hurt people and just wanna have a good time

Alchemical Sorcery

Fucked Around and Found Out, Special Edition.

Potions slowly change you to be able to cast magic but it's fine because you know what you're doing. Hopefully.

Chemical components and suspicious magical ingredients create unforeseen creations = chemistry magic

You are cursed with the knowledge you wish you never had

Need to go to an elite academia to get a certificate permission in case you blow stuff up with your alchemy

Let's shape the very matter of existence after chemistry class 101

Melodis Mortem (forbidden)

"The Song of the Dead" - just a fancy name for a bunch of academia dropouts practicing off-the-book necromancy in a cult.

Let's raise your great-grandpa from beyond the grave because what could possibly go wrong- and he is now a murderous ghoul. Yeah, my bad. We'll do better next time.

Necromancer bards

All these books, guidelines and bloodied ritual circles might just be a way of hiding the fact they don't know what tf they're doing and are relying on lucky improv most of the time.

🎶Spooky scary skeletons send shivers down your spine🎶

"Well, well, well if it isn't the Consequences of my actions."

Mechana Ignis (elven only, secret)

combustion magic

steampunk/solarpunk elf society

gunpowder/"Sunpowder" go brr

"Nah, we ain't sharing this with you lunatics, bruv. This is our magic that goes boom and pew-pew on command. Not yours, nuh-uh, you're too fucking crazy to use it responsibly."

elves bored with eternity decide to do cool science stuff to pass the time and the world isn't ready for it

Tagging: @sleepy-night-child, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @smol-feralgremlin, @oh-no-another-idea, @littleladymab, @little-peril-stories

@the-ellia-west, @winterandwords, @cowboybrunch, @eccaiia, @sarahlizziewrites, @illarian-rambling

@leave-her-a-tome, @writernopal, @anyablackwood, @unstablewifiaccess, @forthesanityofstorytellers

@i-can-even-burn-salad, @cakeinthevoid

@lassiesandiego, @thepeculiarbird, @clairelsonao3, @memento-morri-writes, @starlit-hopes-and-dreams and OPEN TAG

[youtellmeman]

Girlfriend!kiri sully hcs

Rated E

Love language is giftbgiving and we find that out very early on when she starts giving you random things before she has the nerve to ask you out

Little flowers she’s collected, brackets she’s made, hand woven pieces of clothing

Very quiet in front of others but when it’s just you she opens up so much it’s crazy

Yap city Fr

Only ends up actually asking you out after one of her brothers had goaded her into believing they were gonna as you put if she didn’t (it was lo’ak let’s be fr)

Asks you by bring you foraging with her but really it was just an excuse to get you alone

Gathers flowers and gives them to you while pulling a whole nervous ramble confession

“Okay so ik we’ve been friends for a while but I don’t want that anymore. Wait not that I don’t wanna be your friend I love being your friend you’re a great friend it’s just. Like I like you and I mean well obviously I like you we wouldn’t be friends if I didn’t but I-“

Takes her a minute but she gets there

Despite her giving love language being gifts she loves to receive words of affirmation

Practically purrs when you tell her how good she’s doing, how strong she is, what a good healer she’s gonna be

Isn’t huge on pda at all and I feel like she tries to hide it from her family for a little bit but like once she tells them they’re like “we know?”

“Guys me and —— are dating” “Baby girl you come home giggling everytime you two hang out. Why do you think we stopped letting her sleep over? ”- Jake

After that does get better ABOIT being affectionate in public but not by much

In private tho, like honey on fingers she’s stuck to you

Plays with your hair, hoping your hand, leaning on you, laying in you

“Kir can you move just a bit” “No” “I can’t feel my arm.” “Then it can’t bother you that much”

On that note so sassy once she’s comfortable like she cannot hide how she’s feeling with her face and she doesn’t even try with her mouth

Which makes for one of two out comes when shes jealous

Despite her willingness to give a dirty look and speak up she’s definitely gonna need reassurance once your outta the situation

One- “she’s taken” deadpan voice, arm around you waist staring down who ever decided to get a little to cozy near you.

Or

Two- just silent seething watching you interact with someone who clearly isn’t her. So much so that eventually the person excuses themselves just to escape her glare

“They’d probably be better for you than me anyway.” “Kiri no body wants them, your perfect for me and I don’t want anyone else”

Don’t take much you could tell her”that man isn’t shit” and she’s be like okay :)

Slow soft kisser

Refuses to initiate in the beginning but once she’s comfortable she’ll make any excuse to get you alone and kiss up on you

Cradles your jaw and places a hand on your hip, let’s her fingers trace lazy shapes on them

Lives for a peck, she might have healer duties but all them bitches can stay sick if you haven’t given her a kiss goodbye yet

“Babe your gonna be late” “then come here faster??”

Can’t cook sorry

Tried her hardest learn but it won’t be edible so don’t even try

The pandora equivalent to pigs wouldn’t be at what she makes

But she can hand make things, will weave you baskets or sow you blankets what

Light sleeper like super light sleeper. Surprisingly the only thing that won’t wake her up but instead puts her too sleep is the sound of her father and brother’s snoring

Sometimes Jake gets home early and takes naps, snores could shake down fruit from a tree but the sound of them will make her sleepy

Comfort thing tbh

Not a morning person because of this, she wakes up too many times at night for anyone to try and wake her up early

Only person who can do it without receiving death threats is you, neytiri, and tuk

And tuk is only cause she’s little and she’s feel bad threatening a child

“Kiri you have to get up” “fine :(” - you and her

“Kiri you have to get up” “I will skin you alive if you do not leave this cot in 5 seconds” - her and lo’ak

So grumpy but once she eats she’s fine

[alphabetboyluvr]

bad decisions - jjk | eleven

"See, told you it'd be better to wash it off," he says a little triumphantly, his pretty teeth resting down on his bottom lip. You reach up and reciprocate his kindness.

"You're such a mess."

"So are you."  Well and truly stained, your shirt is peach as the water runs through it. Jungkook holds the shower head up and lets it run over your body, but there's nothing inherently intimate about it. Nothing sexual. It's platonic in potentially the weirdest way it could be—but most importantly, it feels safe.  Again, you reciporcate. Let him take the lead. You can follow. But then he catches you off guard. "I'm gonna take my shirt off. There's paint underneath it I wanna get off."

Bad Decision #11 - Perry

warnings: birds! jaykay gets kissed in a club :( paint party! fun!! b and jk then proceed to have a totally platonic shower :) normal friend things!!

soundtrack: better - khalid; & cry! - middle part

wc: 5.9k

bd total wc: 370k (on-going)

minors dni | wattpad | series masterlist |

Jungkook ignores the look on Taehyung's face as you enter the bar that evening. It's not the hug that Jungkook greets you with that's unusual, nor your typically sparkling appearance—but the smile on Jungkook's lips? Yeah. Taehyung hasn't seen one like that in a while.

Still, he doesn't make a big deal of it, for Danbi's following just behind you. He's far more interested in his attempts (and failures) to chat her up, instead.

Namjoon watches on with shallow curiosity. His watchful eyes lounge on you as he takes a sip on his drink, a little more reserved than the others. Taehyung and Jimin greet you and Danbi like old friends, and in a way, it sort of feels like they are.

The club is empty—hasn't opened to punters yet, and won't for another half an hour. The suppliers hired for the paint cannons are still setting up; doing test runs into an empty space where patrons should be. It's strange to see this perspective of a club. Like a liminal space, it feels like you shouldn't be there, but the boys are unphased. Are used to it by now.

"And Hoseok?" Jungkook questions when he notices the lack of sunshine shadowing behind you.

"Having drinks with the boys," you tell him without much care. You forget Jungkook isn't as intricately weaved into your social life as he is into your personal life.

"The boys?" 

He doesn't mean to sound so affronted, but he'd always just assumed it was the singular boy; that your little trio was a friendship that existed within a vacuum. Of course, it doesn't. You've an entire social circle that he's none the wiser of.

You pay his confusion no mind. "Yeah. How are you? How have you been?"

The conversation moves on, Jungkook leading you into the room behind the bar in which they're pregaming.

"It's technically the staff room," he says with a shrug. "But what the boss doesn't know can't hurt him."

There's an airiness to his demeanour; his tipsy brain just as fluffy as the clouds that float around the ends of rainbows. There's safety there. No promises of gold, just certainty of a stable foundation. 

It's a side to him you've never had the luxury of witnessing before, but part of you feels like you always knew he'd be like this. Always knew how he'd smile after a few drinks; how his giggle would sound just that little bit brighter.

"No Seoyeon tonight?" Jimin asks Yoongi as he arrives just a little after you. His cheeks are pink, the clammy heat of the club already getting to him, even when it's empty. Namjoon passes him a bottle of beer, unopened. Yoongi's unphased. Clamps the soft metal cap between his teeth and prizes it off, before he takes a sip and shakes his head.

"Nah, nah, she just dropped me off. Has brunch tomorrow with her friends so doesn't wanna be hungover," he explains as he takes a seat next to Taehyung.

Jungkook leans over to you, quietly clueing you up. "His fiancée."

"Ah," you nod, before Yoongi turns his attention to you and Danbi.

You're reintroduced, and are quick to learn that Jungkook and Jimin only ever seem to refer to you as Disco Ball amongst their friends. Yoongi mentions it first—"You really do look like a disco ball'—but the rest of the boys chime in agreement. 

There's protest from you. Sure, you've got enough glitter to decorate a Christmas card on your eyelids, but your outfit is pretty subdued. Jungkook had told you not to wear anything fancy —"The paint is water-based, but just in case. Don't want you to wreck your favourite party dress, or anything like that."—and so you'd listened. 

He doesn't tell you, 'cause he doesn't think you'll need it, but Jungkook brought a spare shirt with him. Just a white one. Big. Wasn't sure if you'd think about the logistics of a paint party, but it isn't your first rodeo. You've been to a handful of events like these in the past, and know what to expect. 

You're in a big white shirt of your own, wearing it like a dress with a flannel layered on top.  Admittedly, the tights are giving disco ball chic: fishnets with teeny tiny gemstones sparkling underneath the dim lights of the backroom. 

Jungkook can't decide on how the fuck to describe your style. It's not grunge. Yoo sparkly for that. Equally, there's too much of an edge to you for it to be considered 'girly'. He doesn't understand it. Quite likes it, though. Likes that you're still wearing those black hightops you always seem to be in. 

Normally at the club, you'd be in heels, but again, it's not your first rodeo. You know better than to tempt the paint party gods with a stiletto and sopping wet floor combination. Learnt that mistake the hard way back in university.

Jungkook taps his foot against yours. No one else notices, too busy engaged in their own conversations. When you glance down, you realise why. He's in his Converse, too. The only shoes he doesn't mind wrecking. They've been through the wars before. A little paint won't hurt them.

You knock his foot back. He smiles. 

There are no words exchanged, just an understanding; you and he are cut from the same cloth.

You pay attention to everyone else's shoes now. Are looking for other kindred spirits. Jimin's in Chelsea boots- black leather, a little tarnished, in need of a polish. 

Taehyung's in brogues for some reason, and you can't think of a worse shoe to have chosen for such an occasion. So many holes. So much to wreck.

Danbi, ever smart, ever stylish, is in a pair of white sneakers. She knows the game she's come to play. It's why she's in all white, too. 

Yoongi and Namjoon are both sporting Nikes, not too fussed about the evening ahead. 

And so it's just you and Jungkook. You tap your feet against the floor and smile. "Stop copying me."

"I was here first, Byeol," he banters back, but is cut off by Yoongi declaring the need for you all to play a card game. It's one you don't think you've heard of, but make no objection. With the number of drinking games you've played over the last few years, you're almost certain you'll know it.

He deals cards and you quickly come to realise that you don't know the rules. Jungkook tells you it's fine—"I'll help you out, c'mere."—and encourages you to show him your cards. He organises them; gets them in an order that will work for the game.

"Hey, I'm just as clueless!" Danbi pouts, and so Jimin grabs her cards to redistribute them. 

"We'll work as a team," he says, eyes flicking over to Taehyung, just to check how he feels about it. Danbi is oblivious, but you catch the way Taehyung raises his brows in Jimin's direction. There's a slight smirk on his lips. 

"Don't mind them," Jungkook mumbles quietly, just for you to hear. "Jimin's just winding him up. Told Tae if he doesn't make a move that he will instead. Think he's just trying to encourage him. Making him be proactive, yanno?"

"He better bloody be," you muse, taking a sip on the drink Jungkook had put in front of you when he started messing about with your cards. Tequila slammer. Fucking vile. Does get you fucked up, though.

"Jealous, are we, Byeol?" he smirks, swapping one of your cards with his. "Here, it'll help."

You don't dignify him with a response. It's a stupid thing to tease you about, because you know there's no way in hell Danbi would sleep with Jimin. While sharing is caring, sexual partners aren't something the pair of you have ever shared. Hasn't happened before, and won't happen in the future. It's an unspoken rule.

One that Jungkook would do well to remember.

The evening carries on just as it began; light banter, drinks far too strong, and electromagnetic force somehow keeping you and Jungkook attached at the hip. You're in the smoking area far more than you are on the dancefloor. You're not smoking, mind you, just talking nonsense. Making bets. Being stupid. 

"Have you read him yet?" You ask when Jungkook finally presents you with Perry the paper pigeon.

He shakes his head. Bites his lip. "No. You can do the honours."

He watches your hands as you unfold the paper, but the soft laugh you produce draws his attention to your face. 

"Ask for someone's number," you read out, bemused at how shy Jungkook apparently is.

He groans. "God, that's so embarrassing."

"Nooo," you laugh, drunk body swaying into his a little. He's giggling too, now. Can't seem to help it. "It's cute."

"So lame."

"Shut up," you beam. "It's a start! A good bloody place to start as well. Something easy."

Jungkook vehemently disagrees. Tells you as such. Says, "Imagine asking for a number and getting rejected over something so simple. Would be mortifying. A very valid fear."

"So you go for a girl you know is interested," you say. "Look, this is the best place for it. Remember how many girls find you on Instagram after they come here? It won't be any different now that you're out from behind the bar. If anything, you've got far more chances!"

He spends the next fifteen minutes moaning about it. You decide a drink is the only remedy to his whining.

You order four Purple Starfuckers from Yeonjun. Jungkook is offended. Insists he can make them, despite the fact he is quite literally covered head to toe in paint. and has a permanent grin from just how tipsy he is. Yeonjun tells him no. Says the bar is off limits. Jungkook says he'll fire him, and Yeonjun just laughs in his face. 

"Alright. Bet you 10,000 you won't remember trying to fire me in the morning."

"Deal."

"Disco Ball, you're our witness," the blue-haired menace winks towards you. "Make sure he pays up."

"Aye, aye, captain," you wink back, and instantly regret the rogue pirate shtick because Jungkook looks at you like you've got three heads. 

"The fuck?"

"What?"

"Captain," he snorts. "Captain."

"Oh, don't get jealous," you tease. "Is this because you want me to call you Daddy, again?"

This time, Yeonjun stops what he's doing. Looks at the pair of you with a slack jaw and wild eyes. Doesn't know what the fuck is going on between you, but knows he wants to watch every second of it unfold. 

When he serves you shots, he smirks. "Here you go. Captain," he nods in your direction, and then in Jungkook's. "Daddy."

"Never call me that again," Jungkook gags. 

"Sure thing, Daddio."

"Oh my God." 

Yeonjun walks away laughing to himself, all very amused. Will never stop calling Jungkook Daddy now that he knows it'll get a rise out of him. Imagines you'll probably get a very different kind of rise out of him when you call him Daddy, but that's neither here nor there.

"I hate you for that," Jungkook tells you, and you kind of believe him—but God, that broad smile of his is on full display, and the glitter on your skin is reflecting in his eyes like a clear nights sky. Impossible to feel anything remotely close to hatred around him, you think.

"It doesn't matter," you tell him, having noticed the girl behind the pair of you check him out at least three times since you've been at the bar. You kind of recognise her. Think you must have seen her before, whether it be on his follower's list or in the club. She seems like a safe bet. Interested.

"Girl behind you. Look, quickly, but don't make it obvious"— Jungkook turns around like a deer in headlights. "I said don't make it obvious! The girl with the high pony. She's been looking at you for a while now. I think she's into you."

Suddenly, Jungkook feels very out of his depth. "Maybe we should go outside."

"Nope," you say so sternly that he feels like he's being told off at school. "Perry says you have to ask a girl for her number. Just a number. It's not a big deal. What's the worst that could happen?"

"She'll say no."

"Boo-hoo. Cry about it. It's two letters, Kook. One word. It won't ruin your life. Here"— You pass him the final Purple Starfucker —"Down it. You've got this. If she says no, fuck her."

"If she says no to giving me her number, I don't think she'll want to fuck."

"Christ, not literally, Kook." You spin his shoulders around. Give him a nudge. "Go. Do it."

He takes a breath. Psyches himself up. Swallows back the taste of his shot - which is a lot better than the tequila slammers he's been drinking all night - and catches her eye.

You retreat back a little bit, trying to make yourself look busy. Yeonjun watches on from the bar, even more confused than he was before. Were the two of you not just flirting? Are you not definitely boning? He could have sworn you were.

The DJ transitions into a shitty remix of an old Sean Paul song, and you wish you'd have kept Jungkook around for a little longer to orchestrate a better soundtrack for him. None of the crowd cares how shitty it is though - cannons are launching buckets of neon paint onto revellers, covering every inch of the place in a technicolour haze. 

Your flannel shirt is in the backrooms, as is your bag. Danbi's handprints are on your tits, yours on her ass, but the rest of your shirt is just a haphazard mess of colour. There's no rhyme nor reason; just paint. So much fucking paint. It feels like you're back at work. 

A mirror runs along the back of the bar, and you use it to observe Jungkook's adventure. You kind of feel like a proud parent as they begin to talk.

"Hey," the girl smiles. Jungkook thinks she sounds sweet. A lot raspier than he expected. He quite likes that, though - although he can't really hear her all that well above the bass of the speakers. The way her lips curve thanks to his approach makes him feel a lot more secure in his endeavour. "You're normally behind the bar, right? I think I've seen you before."

"Oh," Jungkook cringes, a little embarrassed. This is why he doesn't go for punters. He hates that there's never a clean slate. Always feels unfair. "Yeah, yeah. I manage the bar. I'm surprised you noticed."

"Well you do a very good job," she compliments, twirling a little hair from her ponytail with her index finger.

"I do?"

"I keep coming back," she shrugs. "So you must do. Could be something to do with how cute the bar manager is, though."

You watch on as he talks to her, bemused by the way his weight shifts from one foot to the other. Clearly nervous, you think it's wild that Jungkook is so scared of rejection. He's a catch. Sure, his working hours are a bit unsociable, and maybe he doesn't have life figured out just yet, but you don't think he's too far off.

It'll take a little time for him to get where he wants to be in life, but he's actively working for it. He's studying, laying down foundations. Has a great social circle and is yet to present any qualities you think could be problematic for a healthy, enduring relationship. In a room of walking red flags, he's gleaming white.

"Who is she?" Yoongi asks with great intrigue as he comes to stand beside you.

"Not a clue."

"Does he know who she is?" He laughs. Knows that you and Jungkook have only been hanging out for a little while, but can also read the dynamic between the pair of you fairly well. Knows that your opinion clearly matters to Jungkook, and is trying to gauge your thoughts. 

"Hopefully he will do soon," you say with a warm smile. The girl is laughing at something Jungkook has said, making his bashful gaze all the more endearing. "He's getting her number."

Yoongi chokes on his drink. "Holy shit."

It's been months since Jungkook has even entertained the idea of another girl. Maybe even a year. Yoongi might not have known the ins and outs of his former fling, but he knows Jungkook hasn't quite been the same since.

"Uh-huh."

"Is this Jeon Jungkook finally back in the game?"

"Could be."

"Well, I never," Yoongi exhales. "You know how many times we've tried to get him back in the saddle?"

"You needed a woman's touch," you laugh, biting down on your lip slightly as you watch Jungkook scratch at the back of his head. The girl is laughing, flirting, clearly. She rests her hand on his bicep, and Jungkook seems all shy again. He looks up. Catches your gaze quickly. Doesn't let it linger, but finds himself thinking he should end the conversation and report back on everything that's happened—but when he looks back to you, he sees you engaged in conversation with Yoongi and decides against it.

"Clearly," Yoongi agrees. "I dunno what you've done to him, but he's finally acting like himself again."

"I'm just a good distraction," you shrug. 

You're right. You are. You make Jungkook forget all about his inner turmoil, cause he's always worried about yours instead. He's thinking about it now, as the girl's hand lingers on his shirt. Trails down his arm. Reaches for his hand.

"Y'know, I've actually gotta get back to my friends," he says. He's snagged on thoughts about you. Nothing in particular. Just the fact that you exist. That you're there. That he's not hanging out with you, and he feels like he should be.

She nods. "Yeah, me too. Text me, yeah?"

He returns the nod, almost too eagerly. "I will. Have a good night, yeah?"

She pulls a little on his hand. Is aiming for a kiss she isn't gonna get.

But then Jungkook feels your gaze on him again, and there's pressure to perform; to act as if he's doing well, as if he isn't absolutely shitting himself. He doesn't stop her when she leans in. Doesn't stop her when her palm rests on his chest. Doesn't stop her when her lips press against his. 

He wouldn't say he's encouraging it per say, but he definitely is letting it happen. He's not against it. In fact, he actually quite likes it.

"You're a miracle worker," Yoongi tells you. 

"Miracle workers deserve free drinks," you tease, because you're very much in need of one. 

"Right you are," he agrees, and turns to the bar. 

You let your eyes linger, watching Jungkook as his awkward arm finally moves from the frigid position next to his body, to the small of her back. Find yourself wondering if he tastes more like tequila or lemonade. Decide it doesn't really matter. You don't like either.

"Stop staring, you perv," Yoongi calls back to you and tells you to choose your drink. Says it's on him, but you both know it's on Jungkook's tab.

When he finally returns, there's a triumphant smile on his lips. Proud. And you have to admit, you feel a little pride, too. The Jungkook you met a few months ago would have never kissed a stranger in a bar. 

The night rolls on without a hitch. 

Danbi and Taehyung leave first. Leave together. You don't think anything will happen - you know she's playing hardball - but it's an achievement nonetheless. Also proves that there was nothing to be concerned about when it came to Jimin, who also left around the same time with a random girl none of you knew. 

Yoongi ends up calling Seoyeon, gushing about how much he misses her and is in a taxi no more than five minutes later. Namjoon hops in for the ride, leaving you and Jungkook to meander back to his place. 

By the time you arrive, the paint is dry on your skin; cracking. It's uncomfortable to say the least, and earned you some questionable looks when you ran into a takeaway to pick up some chips on the way back.

You blabber gibberish together like you so often do. You're both too tipsy for your own good. Jungkook feels like he's been chewing on a ball of cotton wool. You immediately head for his fridge to retrieve a bottle of water. Just one. You'll share.

"She was pretty," you say softly, sitting on the floor of his kitchen. Side by side, you're watching the sun rise through his windows.

Jungkook nods. Feels like he's being tested. Doesn't know the right answer, so he goes with the truth. "Yeah."

There's silence. Neither of you really want to discuss it. You're not sure why.

He steals one of your chips. Knocks his shoulder against yours. "The boys seem to like you."

"You think?"

He nods, and says, "You should meet Seoyeon, too. Next time we all do something, I'll let you know. She's always saying how we need more women around. I think you'd get along."

You smile. Yoongi is so easygoing that you're sure Seoyeon must be just as friendly. "I'd like that."

The silence resumes. There's a heaviness. It's probably just the alcohol, and it's probably nothing serious, but Jungkook hates it. Things with you have only ever been light. Airy. Easy. It's not that it feels difficult now, just... different. Abnormal. Strange. 

"I-"

"Do-"

The jarring nature of your voices speaking over one another is unsettling. You bicker all the time. It's not unusual for you to fully disregard the words he speaks just to voice your own dumb point, and he often does just the same. There's no reason why either of you would stop talking now. 

You're holding back.

So is he. 

He takes another chip. Doesn't eat it. Throws it at you instead. 

"You little fucker," you laugh, and so does he. 

But then the silence settles again. Makes itself at home. Tucks itself into bed, says it going to stay for a little while.

"Byeol," Jungkook eventually says, so quietly it's almost a whisper. His eyes are wise as he looks at the golden sun that rises on the horizon. 

"Hmm?"

"The longer the paint sits... the harder it will be to get out of our clothes."

"Mmm," you nod. "You're probably right."

"I am," he tells you. He knows he is. It's not his first rodeo, either. "We should..."

His words are weighted so heavily that they become lodged in his throat. He's drunk, and he knows he maybe shouldn't suggest what he's about to but he can't seem to help himself.

"We still have a bird to do."

You know what he's insinuating. Your first bird. The waterpark one. The one that was totally botched because it was more important to try than it was to be faithful to words written on paper.

"Kook..."

He's not looking at you, just at the sunrise. "It's just a shower. Just to get the paint out. It's nothing like, deep. Doesn't mean anything."

You don't say anything. Truthfully, you think now is a really good time to do it. Things are so much easier when you're drunk.

"You kissed another girl tonight," you remind him.

He nods. "Mhmm."

"Do you not think that maybe it's a bad idea? A conflict of interest?"

He shrugs. "Think about it. Why did I kiss a girl tonight?"

"Because you wanted to?"

"Because I'm trying, Byeol. We made a commitment. Made those damn birds, and said we'd do them. You told me to get her number."

"Actually," you interrupt. "The bird did."

"Exactly. I did what the bird told me to do - but only after you encouraged me to do it, too."

"The bird never told you to kiss her. And the stakes are a little higher, here, no? Showering together surely is... I don't know. More?"

More of what, you couldn't say. Your tipsy brain isn't connecting all the dots. Nor is his. You both know it's a bad idea. You both also confusingly think it's a really good idea.

"No," he says, all rather plainly. "It's no different to the waterpark - it's just that maybe this time we'll need to wash our hair."

You consider the proposal. It's tempting. It really is. 

"Clothes on?" You ask.

"Yeah," he nods. "If you want."

"Y'know, for someone with a fear of rejection, you're pretty forward."

"I'm not scared of you," he laughs. "It's different."

And he really thinks it is. Thinks that it doesn't count. Thinks you're an exception, not the rule.

If you were sober, you'd tell him to fuck off.

But you're not sober.

And you're feeling a little irritated with the fact he's made progress and you haven't. Failure isn't something you enjoy, and being behind feels like failure to you.

So you stand. Kick your shoes off and pick them up. They'll need to go under the water, too. "Are you coming?"

For some reason, he's startled. Doesn't know what he was expecting. Maybe more refusal? Maybe he was looking for you to reinforce the boundaries already established by the pair of you.

But instead, you walk towards his bathroom. Start the shower up. Toss your shoes beneath the falling water, and call for him again. "Am I doing this alone, or what?"

You're standing by the basin by the time he approaches the door. He leans against the frame. Looks at you in a way you don't quite understand. You don't realise he took so long 'cause he had to sort his breathing out first - make sure he actually was still breathing. 

"You go first," you whisper so quietly he almost doesn't hear you above the torrent of water cascading down onto the tiled floor. 

He pauses before he reaches the water. "If you need to tap out, just say the word."

"What word?" You grin, as if anything like that has ever been discussed before. 

"Oh. Shit. I dunno," he smiles back. "Um... Chicken?"

"Chicken?"

"Chicken."

"Alright. Chicken it is."

You think it's fucking ridiculous, and you're right. It is. But it gets you both laughing. Has Jungkook holding his hand out for you and pulling you into the water with him. Eases the weight on your shoulders as he rubs some of the now wet paint from your cheeks. 

"See, told you it'd be better to wash it off," he says a little triumphantly, his pretty teeth resting down on his bottom lip.

You reach up and reciprocate his kindness. "You're such a mess."

"So are you." 

Well and truly stained, your shirt is peach as the water runs through it. Jungkook holds the shower head up and lets it run over your body, but there's nothing inherently intimate about it. Nothing sexual. It's platonic in potentially the weirdest way it could be - but most importantly, it feels safe. 

Again, you reciporcate. Let him take the lead. You can follow.

But then he catches you off guard.

"I'm gonna take my shirt off. There's paint underneath it I wanna get off."

The news is delivered so carefully that you almost think you're imagining it. Think that your tipsy brain has run wild - until he says, "Okay?"

He waits for you to nod before he does it. 

Once you do, he grips the back of his neck, and pulls the shirt over his head. It falls to the ground with a thud. The water around it runs green. Your eyes are on the trail that seeps into the drain, and not him.

"Should I?" you ask quietly. "Should I take mine off?"

Jungkook watches you closely. His heart thumps in his chest. He swallows. Studies your eyes; how they're refusing to look at his. Makes note of your shoulders and how they're slightly more curved than usual. You're cowering. Are a shadow of yourself. It really does seem like there's a deep-rooted fear, here. He feels guilty.

"If you want," he says. His voice is gentle. Temperate. Kind. "There's nothing to be scared of, Byeol. It's just me. Just us."

And you know he's right. The stakes are so low with him that it really feels like there's nothing to lose. What's the worst that could happen?

He'd see your body. That would be it. It wouldn't matter if he liked it or not. You're not seeking his approval. You know he wouldn't tell you his thoughts either way. Wouldn't comment on your appearance like that.

When you finally grace him with your gaze, he turns around; back to you, hands up like a white flag. You take in the sight of him; shoulders broad, the dip of his spine running like a river down his back. His efforts at the gym aren't for nothing.

You start to feel bad for evaluating him. It's all complimentary, but you shouldn't be looking at him like that. Not when you've just told yourself he wouldn't do the same to you.

"Tell me something," he says, not favouring the silence.

"Mhmm?"

"Why was this on your list?"

He hears your shirt slap against the floor of his bathroom, and then the soft pat of your feet on wet tiles as you turn around, too. It's only fair if his back is also turned. 

You're still in your fishnets, but you've only got a matching black underwear set on beneath them. Jungkook's still wearing his trousers - until, pretty soon after your shirt is discarded, so are they.

Now it feels even. You're both are bare as one another.

"No reason."

Jungkook knows you're lying. "I'll choose to believe you."

You smile. The way he speaks to you makes you want to tell him. Tell him everything. It's just stupid insecurities; nothing obscenely deep-rooted, you think. Chalk it up to a couple bad experiences. Underestimate just how severely Seokjin fucked with your head. 

"It's stupid," you whine.

"I highly doubt that."

And so you relent. "It's my fault, really. I... You ever just have like a gut feeling?"

"Sometimes."

"Had one of those, once. In the shower," your sentence comes out a little staggered. A little awkward. "Was with my ex and I just... His hair had smelt like candyfloss all week. Said it was a new shampoo."

Jungkook thinks he knows where this is going. You pause. 

"Anyway, I did his hair," you continue a little flippantly. You're playing it off like it was no big deal. "He did mine. Yada yada yada, you know the rest. Realised later that evening that his shampoo was fucking mint scented. No sweetness, no nothing. So... yeah. The candyfloss scent..."

"Was someone else's shampoo?" Jungkook guesses the end of your sentence, and is correct.

"He still denies it," you say. "I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Found myself in this god-awful cycle of insisting that we showered together - just so I knew he wasn't showering with someone else - only to end up crying halfway through it every single time. He was so fucking fed up with me by the end of it all. Told me I was fucked in the head. Said that if he did do the shit I'd accused him of, then it'd be my fault for driving him to it."

"Christ," Jungkook hisses. He's heard some manipulative shit in his time, but that really fucking takes the biscuit.

You hum in agreement. Sound small when you say, "he smelt like candyfloss again the week before he ended things."

Jungkook's at a loss for words. Wants to wrap you up in cotton wool. Can't believe someone would actually do that to you.

"Byeol?"

"Mhmm?" 

"Your ex-boyfriend's a prick."

"Yeah," you laugh, but it's cut short. There's a stutter in your diaphragm. You let out a deep breath. Hold back the pathetic tears you know are just dying to get out of your system. "Yeah, he was. Kind of my fault, though, isn't it? I'm the one who let him lie to me. Should have known better."

The fact you blame yourself is devastating to him.

"I'm gonna turn around," he says. "And I'm gonna give you a hug, okay?"

You nod, not that he can see it. Choke an "okay" out, and within a second, Jungkook's arms are wrapped around you. He squeezes you tight, skin warm, heat beat firm beneath his ribs. Your back is to his chest, his head resting on yours. "He's such a fucking prick. It wasn't your fault, Byeol. Wasn't your fault at all."

He's never met your ex, but he decides there's no one in the world he despises more. Doesn't like violence; would definitely consider it for him.

You shrug. "Feels like it was."

"It wasn't. You didn't deserve that."

"Shit happens." 

He hates the way you deflect. Knows you'll never change, but dear lord, does he wish you'd realise that it's okay to struggle. 

There's a slight shift in your body, and he knows it means you're done with the hug. Been vulnerable for too long. Wanna get back to the 'normal' version of you.

You're still covered in paint, so Jungkook tells you as such. You apologise for being such a mess - emotionally and physically. 

"S'cool. We both are, Byeol."

He leaves you to get washed up alone. Thinks you could do with a little privacy, and it means he can get his room sorted before your arrival into it. 

There's a scowl on his face as he organises the pillows. Can't believe how manipulative your ex had been. How dare he make you think you were imagining things, when it was evident he'd been straying. How dare he make you feel like that.

Jungkook's no saint. He's done his fair share of fucked up things, but never anything like that. It infuriates him. Makes him want to fucking cry - partially out of frustration, but mainly because of how badly it had affected you.

He thinks of the night before you'd made the birds, and wishes you'd have just gone out with Danbi and Hoseok instead of seeing your ex.

You take your time in the shower. Are sad to wash off the feeling of Jungkook's embrace, but know that you have to. You'd get too consumed by it otherwise. 

He leaves you a spare shirt outside the bathroom door, and tells you to come through to his room when you're ready. Jimin is still out, presumably asleep in some other girl's bed, so Jungkook doesn't care too much for sneaking you around - not that he has to. You're just friends.

He takes the floor. Doesn't give himself half as many pillows as he gave you the last time. Still leaves his special pillows for you, though. 

"Uh-uh," you shake your head as you come into his room to find him already curled up in the pillow pile. "On your bed. I'm on the floor."

He shakes his head right back, defiant. "Too sleepy to argue. Go to bed, Byeol."

You're about to fight back. About to quite physically move him up onto his bed - but the soft sound of paper against pillows distracts you. 

"Shit."

Jungkook sits up. "What is it—Oh. Shit."

You both just stare for a moment. Freeze, like you're in some kind of low-budget action movie. Look at his bed, then look at one another.

Another bird has fallen.

And as Jungkook assesses from how bloody wonky it is, it's definitely one of yours.

minors dni | wattpad | series masterlist |

[eldritchmochi]

Hi its the anon that keeps poking you about cs again! All of those ideas are great and just so the pain of fanfic often sort of being what would be a novel first draft by being episodic, but I feel like you could so weave in a tonne of this stuff past now anyway. Especially the cane leaning, im a cane user too and I totally get it, how my partner handles my cane is just.... it feels different to anyone else. Like they get to touch my body differently to anyone else and that applies to my cane too since that really sort of a part of my body??

the inherent eroticism of ur partner touching u(r cane) i should make a zine about this lmao

rn i am considering how much if any retouching i wanna do of the existing 260k of coping skills cos yeah, the struggle of fanfic essentially being the first draft of a novel. usually it doesnt get me too bad since a) i generally fully complete a fic before posting so i do have a chance to go back and adjust things here and there & 2) i really havent ever cared to redraft something in the more traditional sense and iii) i basically never write things over 100k let alone anything substantially over 100k

one of the options im considering would involve a fairly big overhaul where i pull out the individual arcs and flesh em out with additional scenes for better pacing, and then repost as a series with shorter individual fics (with the og in tact as is, just with a note). ive had several people tell me theyve balked at the length of this damned fic, especially since its barely half done plot wise for JUST this specific already plotted chunk of the whole shebang. it has quite possibly gotten a smiiiidge out of control lmao but its been a great learning experience and i am Determined to finish it

however, i am ALSO considering filing the serial numbers off this fic once its done. i absolutely plan on redrafting the whole thing with a bunch of developmental editing work so the end result would almost certainly be a very different form of the story from the fic as it is now. im still unsure of how much of the rework i have in my head i want to put on the internet as Coping Skills: The Fic tho. its really important to me that, whatever i end up doing, i keep this monster available on the internet as a fanfic cos i am well aware of how much it means to a lot of folks

at the same time though theres a lot of backend stuff i could build into the cs2.0 idea that would make writing the rest of the story a LOT easier, which would make dev edits and redrafting easier bc ill be starting with something that has more structure, etc

theres balance somewhere i just haven't found it yet, HOWEVER im absolutely gonna be stuck til i figure it out. im a plantser when it comes to plot, im more than happy to figure out the path to a fairly nebulous endgoal, but i struggle to write stuff if i dont have a good idea of the overall structure of how i tell the story, like pattern of pov shifts and theming, which definitely got a bit away from me the last like 80k lmao

[kalakilo]

ranking nightmare time episodes

under the cut because this is gonna be a long post and it is only for me and no one else<3

i recently finished all the nmt episodes and now that i have no more new hatchetfield content to consume i need to dish out feelings and opinions and i like ranking things i like. this is based on vibes mostly. and my attachment to these characters. i love all of these episodes and the entire cast and nick & matt lang for giving me so much lore to chew on. here is the brutal order of ranking my children

13. daddy

somebody had to be last......first of all i just wanna say jaime lyn beatty is a literal god for performing the double role of sherman and sheila young here, she IS versatility in human form. however young at heart just isn't one of my favourite songs and sherman & frank really aren't as compelling characters to me as some other ones in the hatchetverse and i feel like it doesn't offer that much more lore to me.

i do find that there is a lot to be said about the way sheila holds frank & toy zone hostage with her money and it's yet another case of characters using their money for power and glory in hatchetfield and how those characters eventually become victims of the lords in black and characters that abuse their power. i still had so much to say about this even though it's last on this list and that also speaks to how GOOD this series is okay

12. perky's buds

this one is just absurd????? i truly think perky's buds, jane's a car and hey melissa are the holy trinity of batshit nmt episodes.

this is essentially the most we ever learn about the hatchetmen and their descendants (the metzgers) which makes me a little sad, that lore i am still a bit lost on and honestly the amount of lore (and this being grace chasity's first appearance in canon) is mostly the only reason i prefer this one over daddy. also the fact that joey richter plays a monotone talking bird + emma finally gets her pot farm (even if it all burns down in the end</3). this one is just a little silly to me and the song isn't my favourite either, it's a taste of characters (like the metzgers and ziggs) and lore about the history of hatchetfield and i just wish we knew more

11. forever and always

this is my official apology to paulkins nation for having this ep so low lmao sorry guys

if i'm being honest my favourite part about this episode is how it weaves together with time bastard. idk if i'm allowed to say this out loud because i fear i'll get crucified by starkid / hatchetverse people but honestly i'm not *that* invested in paulkins as a ship.......i love that in this iteration they are just so fucked up and weird, i remember in the hotel scene thinking there is NO way paul wouldn't kill emdroid here. she is an EVIL ANDROID!!!! and then the reveal that he's actually paul 23 made so much sense. anyway i like this one and i REALLY like the song!! it's so fun having such a heartfelt sounding song at the top of the episode and then it actually being so fucked up by the end.

10. hey, melissa!

tbh i wanted this one to be higher because it was SO absurd in a way perky's buds could never even fucking dream of, i truly want to know what possessed nick & matt lang to think that the side character who has maybe four lines in tgwdlm likes dehumanizing men and turning them into her pets???

all this being said i think hey melissa gets a bit of a bad rep in the fandom. i actually think it's a very interesting episode, i will never ever stop thinking about WHY paul makes the decision at the end as he does? i think there is so much to dissect there and in general about paul as a character in this episode. we really don't learn a lot about paul in tgwdlm and in contrast, in the timeline of hey melissa we hear an entire story from his childhood that clearly impacted him a lot? and it's something he thinks about to this day!

i also really wonder the question of if he hadn't told that story, would melissa still have him held captive?? obviously melissa is not a very reliable character in the early part of the story, but paul's memory clearly affects her a lot? does she actually lose faith in him in that moment? and that's why she decides to keep him as her dog (of course he doesn't end up being one lmao) ? i just think there's a lot to be said about this episode! still, i am def forever haunted by this and can't never hear it the same when humans say bark or meow. also what do you MEAN you'd have to NEUTER him to let him OUTSIDE

9. the hatchetfield ape-man

this one has such a special place in my heart for whatever reason<33 full disclosure angela as lucy stockworth is also maybe 80% of why this is higher than the others so far, it's just so fun seeing her play a character who seemingly is just so innocent and sweet and has such a big heart but then who's also very aware of what she's doing and schemes a bit herself. i can't believe this is the only iteration of lucy stockworth what is she doing in the other timelines. i want to know.

also idk why but the reveal that ted was just playing konk fucked me UP!!! like that was insane. also as the first episode that has the cast and nick & matt still figuring everything out it's just very sweet and heartwarming which you cant say about a lot of hatchetfield content<33 honestly no real explanations for this one i just love angela giarratana and also jamie lyn beatty for singing HERE'S A LITTLE STORY BOUT THE HATCHETFIELD APE-MAN

8. watcher world

the scenes with the sniggles???? genuinely horrifying. the idea in itself that someone is always watching is so creepy, i think blinky is maybe actually the most terrifying lord in black. at least he manages to have the most terrifying nmt episode. the fact that he somehow makes a father and daughter almost kill each other and wants to watch for his own enjoyment like........this one actually haunts me sm!!!! wtf is that scene with alice and the blinky mascot!!!!!!

it's also one of the only hatchetfield stories with a genuinely happy ending with basically no catch. and after bill and alice's tragic fate in tgwdlm i'm so glad they also get a good ending<33 it's also just so lovely to see them actually bond in this story and we learn a lot about alice !

this one also has so many songs and i am of the opinion that snoozle town is genuinely heartbreaking and the way angela can just do that while singing the most insane shit like "and we'll have two snoozles that can snozzle / our own bayou where the boogle boggles flow with goo" is beautiful

7. jane's a car

GOT MY FOOT ON THE GAS ok im SORRY im sorry its just. funny

tbh i am a little sad this gets reduced to the car sex episode, i think it does have a lot to say about navigating grief when you feel like you've finally been able to move on and live life again and suddenly the person you lost is back in your life. and they're also a car.

not to mention the ending???? is fucking terrifying????? poor becky quite literally dies and the "mommy's home" paired with the way the script narrates the moment as "becky sits down and jane smiles". like that's. cunt

anyway just to conclude i really wish more people understood the more compelling parts of this episode and not just tom fucks a car!!!! dont overstimulate the cupholders!!!!!

6. honey queen

i was GAGGED seeing the editing quality step up from nmt 1. this is truly the cuntiest nmt episode because we pit two beautiful queens each other and BOTH just fucking perish lmao (that editing step up also contributed so much to the final scene being so terrifying. it's an incredible introduction to nibbly and the scene being followed by the nibbly ditty is just SO gooooooooooooooood)

something i did already mention when talking about daddy is the continued sort of "motif" that rich people either still always lose to the lords in black or (something that i didn't bring up last time) they themselves are corrupt and have essentially sold their souls to the lords in black. like gerald & linda lie, cheat, steal and kill their way to win this pageant and yet. they still both die.

also also!!!!! i love that we learn how linda ended up so incredibly cold and uncaring. like it's not just from being rich as fuck, it's also trauma from being mocked, ridiculed and ignored throughout your entire childhood. i think roman murray might genuinely be the most evil character in hatchetfield and i loooove how jon matteson plays him. king shit

i also just love. gerald and linda. they are so fucked up and so perfect for each other. the way gerald helps her so much to sabotage the pageant and is her BIGGEST cheerleader, knows that deep down linda does not like her father and is afraid of him and literally gets himself killed essentially in support of her.............i love them.

5. time bastard

i'm gonna be honest i wasn't ted's biggest fan after tgwdlm so i didn't reaaaally understand the love i saw for him in the fandom, but after time bastard i really got it. time bastard actually fleshes out ted as a character and even though by the end he kind of is still a dumbass we do still learn a lot about him!! tinky and his little box are both objectively terrifying and being stuck in his box honestly sounds like a worse fate than hell. i feel bad for ted ngl

the reveal that homeless guy is ted spankoffski is also so insane. like the fact that these two exist in the same timeline a lot of the time is so interesting and also brings up the question of did the homeless guy ever try to go into ccrp and try to take his job back??? or did he just resign to his fate. we dont know. speaking of ccrp also learning more lore about what a fucked company it actually is super interesting, especially knowing they too tried to harness tinky's power.

my one and only gripe with time bastard is that it gets a little too complicated for me at some points but that's more a me problem, it just feels slightly hard to wrap my head around it while also connecting it to the events of forever and always. i do love complicated lore but this one fucks w my head sometimes

4. abstinence camp

as a grace chasity girl it is illegal for me to have this episode any lower than in the top 5. these top 4 episodes truly expose my favourite hatchetfield characters so bad lmao

god abstinence camp is SO funny!! the writing here is hilarious, just grace's first appearance is so silly and angela does such a stellar job. i love her in this role so much. along w her i'm so glad this story introduced us to boy jerry and girl jeri who i am begging to see again in another timeline like i need to see their backstory!! how did they find each other the first time and how did they end up abandoning their faith to have a child!!!! jon matteson and kim whalen are so good in these roles

we also cant talk about abstinence camp without mentioning that virginity rocks is objectively the BEST nmt song. jon and kim are serving absolute vocals it is such a banger and the fact that they paired it with axe man is so fucking sick

3. killer track

killer track is the only nmt episode so far that's made me actually cry. god. he was watching the fireworks.

to be completely honest i. don't even know what to comment on for this episode i'm just stuck in never ending holloweane brainrot. god he's so in love with her. AND SO AM I!!! miss holloway is such a compelling character and this nmt episode especially teases a lot about how she ended up the way she is. we also learn about her past and just like everything about her is so interesting to me, i love her protective nature but also that she's so calculated in her every move. and somehow always knows exactly what to do. also i love duke keane i can't leave him out of this

the concept of this episode is also just so viscerally horrifying, it's essentially something i used to have nightmares about like something scary that's ringing so loudly in your ears that nothing can block it out so this genuinely hit like a sort of irrational fear that i pretty much used to have as a kid. it's not so bad that i can't watch but still hit me in a sort of way that reminded me of my own fears. maybe that's also why i love miss holloway she would save me if i ever ended up in that situation

2. the witch in the web

i feel like witch in the web is very underrated?? i don't see a lot of people talking about it compared to some other episodes which i think is such a shame because it's so incredible

the scene where hannah thinks she's seeing lex and then it turns out to be the witch was SO spooky watching it the first time, seeing angela play out this sort of over-excited version of lex and it slooowly becoming more and more sinister is so insane especially with her pulling out the dolls of the lords in black. it's such a great scene!!

also the lore we learn about the witchwood forest and what originally happened to willabella muckwab and how the black book came to be is so integral to the entire lore, and i love the way it's told with hannah & miss holloway sort of walking in this old dreamlike world. plus the confrontation with wilbur cross in the starlight GOD this episode has so many cool moments and it can do so much because they're in nightmare time and not in actual hatchetfield most of the time. i do, however, despise the idea that lex foster is serving what FOUR years in prison in this timeline. dont do that to my girl

1. yellow jacket

the scene where hannah & ethan come home and lex is waiting for them, so disappointed in herself not only for forgetting hannah's birthday but also for failing the test, angry at ethan for not reminding her about hannah's birthday.....that scene is probably my favourite moment in the entire hatchetverse? angela just fucking blew me away she plays it so well and not to mention joey richter ethan just. kills

yellow jacket just had to be first here, i'm so invested in these relationships and their past and how it led them to where they are here, the way this episode portrays how hard it is for lex and ethan because they're just trying to survive on what little resources they have while lex is also taking care of hannah: she cares for her so much that she's wanted to move them out of their mom's trailer. of course hannah would feel responsible and maybe guilty because lex has so much to worry about, of course hannah wants to take the first opportunity she gets to make them copious amounts of money, of course she's willing to put herself in terrible danger, all to help lex.

i love seeing this perspective on hannah, especially since in black friday we mostly see lex (and ethan) protecting and saving hannah when she's in trouble (although she definitely can fend for herself a little!). in yellow jacket we really see how responsible hannah must feel. when her and ethan see the ipad as a possible prize, her first thought isn't all the fun things you could use the ipad for, it's how much money they could get selling it. she doesn't understand the sheer danger of fighting pokey, which makes sense since she doesn't know that that is quite literally an eldritch god, she just wants to support lex.

this episode is just incredible in its every element: the portrayal of the characters, the story and the way it talks about the influence that money has on people's lives. not to mention watching literal children fight each other for entertainment. it's brutal but the core relationships are what eventually survive despite the circumstances

well. this was long

[darkerrpmemes]

Predators have a pattern

The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence was written by Gavin de Becker to help people trust their gut instinct and avoid potentially dangerous situations, by learning to recognize various behaviours/events that serve as common precursors to violence. These are called PINS - Pre-Incident Indicators.

By recognising warning signs such as PINS, individuals can better identify dangerous people before something bad happens and take the necessary precautions/actions to stay safe. 

There are several types of PINs to watch out for, namely:

Forced Teaming

This is when a person implies that they have something in common with their chosen victim, acting as if they have a shared predicament when that isn't really true. Speaking in "we" terms is a mark of this, i.e. "We don't need to talk outside... Let's go in." The goal is to establish a false sense of rapport and make their victim lower their guard.

If someone keeps using collective terms like "we" and "us", implying you are a "team" when you don't know them well/have just met, ask yourself:

Why is it so important to this person that I feel obliged to do something together with them right now, when what I was doing originally didn't involve them (ie, bringing shopping upstairs to my apartment)

How much do I actually know about this person and their intentions for choosing to attach themselves to me in this situation? (ie, are they hoping to get me alone?)

Charm and Niceness

This is being polite and friendly to a chosen victim in order to manipulate him or her by disarming their mistrust.

If someone you don't know well/just met is being charming and nice to you, especially if they are combining this with the Forced Teaming tactic, ask yourself:

Why are they so keen to quickly establish a rapport with me and make me like them?

Are they looking for me to do something for them (ie go somewhere with them, let them into an apartment building they "forgot" their key to, lend them my phone to "make a phone call", give them personal information about myself that could allow them to find out where I live/work later, give them money) now that I am "on the hook" AKA engaged in a friendly conversation with them?

How do I think they would react to me politely trying to disengage/declining to do whatever they've asked of me?

Charm and niceness in predators is superficial; they don't tend to keep up the act once they are told no, and they tend to challenge your boundaries instead of respecting them.

Too many details

If a person is lying, they will add excessive details to make themselves sound more credible to their chosen victim.

A person who's genuinely locked themselves out of their apartment building by accident will most likely just say, "Hey, I just nipped out for something and I forgot my key like an idiot, could you let me into the building please?"

Someone who's focused on selling their lie, however, would probably weave a whole cover story to explain away their actions, like, "Hi, I just moved in here and I was running out to grab some meds for my sick partner but I left my key in my jacket upstairs - I normally always wear that jacket, but now of course it's really warm, so I didn’t grab it, and I guess this is a lesson in not keeping my keys in my jacket pocket, haha. Could you let me in? I don’t wanna have to call my partner to come all the way down to buzz me in, because she's not supposed to be exerting herself while she recovers, so help me out here?"

Ask yourself:

Why did they tell me so much information I didn’t ask for and didn't need to know?

Did the person's behaviour seem suspicious to me before they provided this very detailed cover story?

Why would a credible person feel the need to justify their actions to me and overcompensate to convince me of their credibility before I've even called it into question?

Typecasting

An insult is used to get a chosen victim who would otherwise ignore one to engage in conversation to counteract the insult. For example: "Oh, I bet you're too stuck-up to talk to a guy like me."

The tendency is for the chosen victim to want to prove the insult untrue.

Ask yourself:

Are they insulting me now just because I wouldn't do what they wanted?

Does proving their negative assertion wrong involve me doing what they wanted, in spìte of my own discomfort and gut instinct that told me not to do it in the first place?

Why should I care about this person's opinion of me?

Loan Sharking

Giving unsolicited help to the chosen victim and anticipating they'll feel obliged to extend some reciprocal openness in return.

Ask yourself:

Why is this person offering to help me right now?

Did I actually want or need their help, or have they just swooped in without being asked?

Does accepting their help feel like it comes at a price, or am I going to feel indebted to them for this?

The Unsolicited Promise

A promise to do (or not do) something when no such promise is asked for; this usually means that such a promise will be broken.

The unsolicited promise is a predator's subconscious projection. Ironically, in their effort to lull you into a false sense of security and make you believe that a specific bad thing won't happen to you, they are giving themselves away - because the fact that such a thing has occurred to them before you ever raised concerns about it, indicates that it was on their mind and likely their intention all along.

For example: an unsolicited, "I promise I'll leave you alone after this," usually means you will not be left alone afterwards.

Similarly, an unsolicited "I promise I won't hurt you" usually means the person intends to hurt you.

Ask yourself:

Why did that person feel the need to promise something I never asked about?

Discounting the Word "No"

Any reasonable, respectful person will back off when you tell them no. They might go away thinking you are rude and strange if they don't understand why you're setting a boundary, but they will back off. A predator will not accept rejection.

A predator will push your boundary, test how serious you are, and try to coerce you into changing your answer even after you have given them multiple clear rejections. They may try to charm you, or turn the subject into a debate where they can wear down your resolve. They may turn angry and threatening. They may try to guilt trip you, or use typecasting to make you want to prove them wrong. They may even cycle through more than one of these tactics - whatever they think will work.

Any person who is unwilling to respect boundaries and refuses to take no for an answer, regardless of the situation, is not a safe person for you to be around.